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#let the universe define who we are
namitha · 2 years
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Let's embrace the freshness of everything. We are unable to define ourselves, so nothing defines us. Let the universe determine who we are. Our minds are limited, but the universe is infinite…🍀
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renthony · 10 days
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In Defense of Shitty Queer Art
Queer art has a long history of being censored and sidelined. In 1895, Oscar Wilde’s novel The Picture of Dorian Gray was used as evidence in the author’s sodomy trials. From the 1930s to the 1960s, the American Hays Code prohibited depictions of queerness in film, defining it as “sex perversion.” In 2020, the book Steven Universe: End of an Era by Chris McDonnell confirmed that Rebecca Sugar’s insistence on including a sapphic wedding in the show is what triggered its cancellation by Cartoon Network. According to the American Library Association, of the top ten most challenged books in 2023, seven were targeted for their queer content. Across time, place, and medium, queer art has been ruthlessly targeted by censors and protesters, and at times it seems there might be no end in sight.
So why, then, are queer spaces so viciously critical of queer art?
Name any piece of moderately-well-known queer media, and you can find immense, vitriolic discourse surrounding it. Audiences debate whether queer media is good representation, bad representation, or whether it’s otherwise too problematic to engage with. Artists are picked apart under a microscope to make sure their morals are pure enough and their identities queer enough. Every minor fault—real or perceived—is compiled in discourse dossiers and spread around online. Lines are drawn, and callout posts are made against those who get too close to “problematic art.”
Modern examples abound, such as the TV show Steven Universe, the video game Dream Daddy, or the webcomic Boyfriends, but it’s far from a new phenomenon. In his book Hi Honey, I’m Homo!, queer pop culture analyst Matt Baume writes about an example from the 1970s, where the ABC sitcom titled Soap was protested by homophobes and queer audiences alike—before a single episode of the show ever aired. Audiences didn’t wait to actually watch the show before passing judgment and writing protest letters.
After so many years starved for positive representation, it’s understandable for queer audiences to crave depictions where we’re treated well. It’s exhausting to only ever see the same tired gay tropes and subtext, and queer audiences deserve more. Yet the way to more, better, varied representation is not to insist on perfection. The pursuit of perfection is poison in art, and it’s no different when that art happens to be queer.
When the pool of queer art is so limited, it feels horrible when a piece of queer art doesn’t live up to expectations. Even if the representation is technically good, it’s disappointing to get excited for a queer story only for that story to underwhelm and frustrate you.
But the world needs that disappointing art. It needs mediocre art. It even needs the bad art. The world needs to reach a point where queer artists can fearlessly make a mess, because if queer artists can only strive for perfection, the less art they can make. They may eventually produce a masterpiece, but a single masterpiece is still a drop in the bucket compared to the oceans of censorship. The only way to drown out bigotry and offensive stereotypes created by bigots is to allow queer artists the ability to experiment, learn through making mistakes, and represent their queer truth even if it clashes with someone else’s.
If queer artists aren’t allowed to make garbage, we can never make those masterpieces everyone craves. If queer artists are terrified at all times that their art will be targeted both by bigots and their own queer communities, queer art cannot thrive.
Let queer artists make shitty art. Let allies to queer people try their hand at representation, even if they miss the mark. Let queer art be messy, and let the artists screw up without fear of overblown retribution.
It’s the only way we’ll ever get more queer art.
_
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artsekey · 5 months
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Disney's Wish
Look, Disney's Wish has been universally panned across the internet, and for good reason.
It’s just…kind of okay.
 When we sit down to watch a Disney film—you know, from the company that dominated the animation industry from 1989 to (arguably) the mid 2010’s and defined the medium of animation for decades—we expect something magnificent. Now, I could sit here and tell you everything that I thought was wrong with Wish, but if you’re reading this review, then I imagine that you’ve already heard the most popular gripes from other users across the web. So, let me focus in:
The biggest problem with Wish—in fact, the only problem with Wish—is Magnifico.
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Whoa, that’s crazy! There’re so many things about Wish that could’ve been better! The original concept was stronger! The music was bad--
I hear you, I do. But stay with me here, okay? Take my hand. I studied under artists from the Disney renaissance. I teach an adapted model of Disney’s story pipeline at a University level. I spent a ridiculous amount of time getting degrees in this, and I am about to dissect this character and the narrative to a stupid degree.
First, we need to understand that a good story doesn’t start and end with what we see on the screen. Characters aren’t just fictional people; when used well, characters are tools the author uses (or in this case, the director) to convey their message to the audience. Each character’s struggle should in some way engage with the story’s message, and consequently, the story’s theme. Similarly, when we look at our protagonist and our antagonist, we should see their characters and their journeys reflected in one-another.
So, what went wrong between Asha & Magnifico in terms of narrative structure?
Act I
In Wish, we’re introduced to our hero not long into the runtime—Asha. She’s ambitious, caring, and community-oriented; in fact, Asha is truly introduced to the audience through her love of Rosas (in “Welcome to Rosas”).  She’s surrounded by a colorful cast of friends who act as servants in the palace, furthering her connection with the idea of community but also telling us that she’s not of status, and then she makes her way to meet Magnifico for her chance to become his next apprentice.
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Quick aside: I'm not going to harp on Asha as a character in the context of Disney's overall canon. Almost every review I've seen covers her as a new addition to Disney's ever-growing repertoire of "Cute Quirky Heroines", and I think to be fair to Asha as an actor in the narrative, it serves her best to be weighed within the context of the story she's part of.
As Asha heads upstairs for her interview, we're introduced to the man of the hour: Magnifico. He lives in a tower high above the population of Rosas, immediately showing us how he differs from Asha; he’s disconnected from his community. He lives above them. He has status. While the broader context of the narrative wants us to believe that this also represents a sense of superiority, I would argue that isn’t what Magnifico’s introduction conveys; he's isolated.
Despite this distance, he does connect with Asha in “At All Costs”. For a moment, their goals and values align. In fact, they align so well that Magnifico sees Asha as someone who cares as much about Rosas as he does, and almost offers her the position.
… Until she asks him to grant Saba’s wish.
This is framed by the narrative as a misstep. The resonance between their ideals snaps immediately, and Magnifico says something along the line of “Wow. Most people wait at least a year before asking for something.”
This disappointment isn't played as coming from a place of power or superiority. He was excited by the idea of working with someone who had the same values as he did, who viewed Rosas in the same way he does, and then learns that Asha’s motivations at least partially stem from a place of personal gain.
Well, wait, is that really Asha's goal?
While it's not wholistically her goal, it's very explicitly stated & implied that getting Saba's wish granted is at least a part of it. The audience learns (through Asha's conversation with her friends before the interview) that every apprentice Magnifico has ever had gets not only their wish granted, but the wishes of their family, too!  Asha doesn’t deny that this is a perk that she’s interested in, and I don't think this is a bad thing.
So, Is Asha’s commitment to Saba selfless, or selfish? I’m sure the director wanted it to seem selfless, wherein she believes her family member has waited long enough and deserves his wish granted, but we can’t ignore the broader context of Asha essentially trying to… skip the line.
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Then, we get our first point of tension. Magnifico reveals his “true colors” in snapping at Asha, telling her that he “decides what people deserve”. This is supposed to be the great motivator, it’s meant to incite anger in the audience—after all, no one gets to decide what you deserve, right? But unfortunately for the integrity of the film and the audience's suspension of disbelief, at least part of Magnifico’s argument is a little too sound to ignore:
Some wishes are too vague and dangerous to grant. Now, there’s visual irony here; he says this after looking at a 100 old man playing the lute. The idea that something so innocuous could be dangerous is absurd, and the audience is meant to agree.
... But we’ve also seen plenty of other wishes that might be chaotic—flying on a rocket to space, anyone? The use of the word vague is important, too—this implies wording matters, and that a wish can be misinterpreted or evolve into something that is dangerous even if the original intent was innocuous. His reasoning for people forgetting their wish (protecting them from the sadness of being unable to attain their dreams) is much weaker, but still justifiable (in the way an antagonist’s flawed views can be justified). The film even introduces a facet of Magnifico’s backstory that implies he has personal experience with the grief of losing a dream (in the destruction of his home), but that thread is never touched on again.
              What is the audience supposed to take from this encounter? If we’re looking at the director’s intent, I’d argue that we’ve been introduced to a well-meaning young girl and a king who’s locked away everyone’s greatest aspiration because he believes he deserves to have the power to decide who gets to be happy.
              But what are we shown? Our heroine, backed by her friends, strives to be Magnifico’s apprentice because she loves the city but also would really like to see her family's wishes granted. When this request is denied and she loses the opportunity to be his apprentice, she deems Magnifico’s judgement unfair & thus begins her journey to free the dreams of Rosas’ people.
              In fairness, Magnifico doesn’t exhibit sound judgement or kindness through this act of the film. He’s shown to be fickle, and once his composure cracks, he can be vindictive and sharp. He's not a good guy, but I'd argue he's not outright evil. He's just got the makings of a good villain, and those spikes of volatility do give us a foundation to work off of as he spirals, but as we’ll discuss in a bit, the foreshadowing established here isn’t used to the ends it implies.
              While I was watching this film, I was sure Magnifico was going to be a redeemable villain. He can’t connect with people because he's sure they value what he provides more than they value him (as seen in “At All Costs” and the aftermath), and Asha’s asking for more was going to be framed as a mistake. His flaw was keeping his people too safe and never giving them the chance to sink or swim, and he's too far removed from his citizens to see that he is appreciated. Asha does identify this, and the culmination of her journey is giving people the right to choose their path, but the way Magnifico becomes the “true” villain and his motivations for doing so are strangely divorced from what we’re shown in Act I.  
Act II:
His song, “This is the Thanks I Get!?” furthers the idea that Magnifico’s ire—and tipping point—is the fact that he thinks the people he’s built a kingdom for still want more. Over the course of this 3:14 song, we suddenly learn that Magnifico sends other people to help his community and doesn’t personally get involved (we never see this outside of this song), and that he’s incredibly vain/narcissistic (he's definitely a narcissist). I think feeling under-appreciated is actually a very strong motivation for Magnifico as a character-turning-villain, and it works very well. It’s justified based on what we’ve seen on screen so far: he feels under-appreciated (even though he’s decidedly not—the town adores him), he snaps and acts irrationally under stress (as seen with his outburst with Asha), and he’s frustrated that people seem to want more from him (again, as seen with his conversation with Asha in Act I).
              But then… he opens the book.
Ah, the book. As an object on screen, we know that it's filled with ancient and evil magic, well-known to be cursed by every relevant character in the film, and kept well-secured under lock and key. But what does it stand for in the context of the narrative's structure? A quick path to power? We're never told that it has any redeeming qualities; Magnifico himself doesn't seem to know what he's looking for when he opens it. It feels... convenient.
I think it's also worth noting that he only turns to the book when he's alone; once again, the idea of connection and community rears it's ugly head! Earlier in the film, Amaya-- his wife-- is present and turns him away from taking that path. In her absence, he makes the wrong choice.
This decision could make sense; it contains powerful magic, and if it were framed in such a way that the people of Rosas were losing faith in Magnifico’s magic, as if what he can do might not be enough anymore after what they felt from Star, going for the book that we know contains spells that go above and beyond what he can already do would be logical. Along the lines of, “If they’re not happy with what I do for them, fine. I, ever the “martyr”, will do the unthinkable for you, because you want more.”
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            It would keeps with the idea that Magnifico believes he's still trying to help people, but his motivation has taken his self-imposed pity party and turned it into resentment and spite.
 But, that’s not the case. Instead he talks about reversing that “light”, which has had no real negative or tangible consequences on Rosas. Everyone had a warm feeling for a few seconds. Again, it’s meant to paint him as a vain control freak, but… he hasn’t lost any power. The citizens of Rosas even assume the great showing of magic was Magnifico.
Act III
              Then, we get to the consequences of opening the book (and perhaps my biggest qualm with this film). The book is established as being cursed. Magnifico knows it, Asha knows it, and Amaya—who is introduced as loyal-- knows it. The characters understand his behavior is a direct result of the book, and search for a way to save him. This is only the focus of the film for a few seconds, but if you think about it, the fact that his own wife cannot find a way to free him of the curse he’s been put under is unbelievably tragic. Worse still, upon discovering there is no way to reverse the curse, Magnifico—the king who built the city & “protected it” in his own flawed way for what seems to be centuries—is thrown out by his wife. You know, the wife who's stood loyal at his side for years?
              It’s played for laughs, but there’s something unsettling about a character who’s clearly and explicitly under the influence of a malevolent entity being left… unsaved. If you follow the idea of Magnifico being disconnected from community being a driving force behind his arc, the end of the film sees him in a worse situation he was in at the start: truly, fully alone.
              They bring in so many opportunities for Magnifico to be sympathetic and act as a foil for Asha; he’s jaded, she’s not. He’s overly cautious (even paranoid), she’s a risk-taker. He turns to power/magic at his lowest point, Asha turns to her friends at her lowest point. Because this dichotomy isn’t present, and Magnifico—who should be redeemable—isn’t, the film is so much weaker than it could’ve been. The lack of a strong core dynamic between the protagonist and antagonist echoes through every facet of the film from the music to the characterization to the pacing, and I believe if Magnifico had been more consistent, the film would’ve greatly improved across the board.
I mean, come on! Imagine if at the end of the film, Asha—who, if you remember, did resonate with Magnifico’s values at the start of the film—recognizes that he's twisted his original ideals and urges him to see the value in the people he’s helped, in their ingenuity, in their gratitude, & that what he was able to do before was enough. Going further, asking what his wish is or was—likely something he’s never been asked— and showing empathy! We’d come full circle to the start of the film where Asha asks him to grant her wish.
Pushing that further, if Magnifico’s wish is to see Rosas flourish or to be a good/beloved king, he'd have the the opportunity to see the value in failing and how pursuing the dream is its own complex and valuable journey, and how not even he is perfect.
 The curse and the book (which, for the purposes of this adjustment, would need to be established as representing the idea of stepping on others to further your own goals/the fast way to success), then serve as the final antagonist, that same curse taking root in the people of Rosas who’ve had their dreams destroyed, and Asha works with the community to quell it. Asha’s learned her lesson, so has Magnifico, and the true source of evil in the film—the book—is handled independently. Magnifico steps back from his role as King, Amaya still ends up as Queen, and Asha takes her place as the new wish-granter.
This route could even give us the true “Disney villain” everyone’s craving; giving the book sentience and having it lure Magnifico in during “This is the Thanks I Get!?” leaves it as its own chaotic evil entity.
All in all, Magnifico's introduction paved a road to redemption that the rest of the film aggressively refused to deliver on, instead doubling down on weaker motivations that seem to appear out of thin air. Once the audience thinks, hey, that bad guy might have a point, the protagonist has to do a little more heavy lifting to convince us they're wrong.
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Look at the big-bad-greats from Disney's library. There isn't a point in the Lion King where we pause and think, "Wait a second, maybe Scar should be the guy who rules the Pridelands." Ursula from the Little Mermaid, though motivated by her banishment from King Triton's Seas, never seems to be the right gal for the throne. Maybe Maleficent doesn't get invited to the princess's birthday party, but we don't watch her curse a baby and think, Yeah, go curse that baby, that's a reasonable response to getting left out.
What do they all have in common? Their motivation is simple, their goal is clear, and they don't care who they hurt in pursuit of what they want.
Magnifico simply doesn't fall into that category. He's motivated by the idea of losing power, which is never a clear or impactful threat. His goal at the start seems to be to protect Rosas, then it turns into protecting his own power, and then-- once he's corrupted-- he wants to capture Star. The problem is, there's no objective to put this power toward. Power for power's sake is useless. Scar craves power because he feels robbed of status. Ursula believes the throne is rightfully hers. Maleficent wanted to make a statement. Magnifico... well, I'm not really sure.
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copperbadge · 1 year
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Hey Sam! Since it's currently AO3 donation time, I'm wondering what your thoughts are on it? I'm asking because you've written RPF and it's one of many "anti-AO3/anti-AO3 donations" people's favourite things to bring up when they're complaining about AO3 getting so many donations that it continuously obtains an excess of its donation goal whenever donation time rolls around? (Wow, how many times can I say "donation" in an ask?) Sorry if this question bothers you! I don't mean to offend or annoy.
Hey anon! Sorry it took a while to get to this, I don't even know if the drive is still going on, but the question came in while I was traveling and I didn't really have the time for stuff that wasn't travel-related. In any case, let's dig in! (I am not offended, no worries.)
So really there are two issues here and as much as some people who are critical of AO3 want to conflate them, they are different. While some criticism of AO3 may be valid, rhetoric against AO3 tends to misinterpret both in separate ways.
First there's the issue of what AO3 hosts -- RPF, yes, but more broadly, varied content that some people find distasteful or think should be illegal, which is a misunderstanding of the purpose of the archive and more broadly a dangerous attitude towards the concept of freedom of expression.
Second, there's the issue of AO3 generally outpacing its fundraising goals while not allowing monetization, which is a misunderstanding of the legal status of AO3 and to an extent a misunderstanding of philanthropy as a whole.
The longer I watch debates about content go on, the more I come to the conclusion that I was fortunate to have a teacher who really wanted to instill in us an understanding of free speech not as a policy but as an ongoing dialogue. It's not only that freedom of expression "protects you from the government, not the Justin" as the meme goes, but also that freedom of expression is not a static thing. It's an ongoing process of identifying what we find harmful in society and what we want to do about it.
Should the freedom to shout "Fire!" in a crowded theater be restricted? Should the freedom to yell slurs at drag performers? Should the freedom to teach prepubescent kids about gender, sexuality, and/or safe sex? Should the freedom to wear a leather puppy hood at Pride? Who gets to say, and why?
I was nine when my teacher did a unit on freedom of speech and the intersection of "harm prevention" and "censorship", which is (and should be) a discussion, not a set of ironclad rules. This ambiguity has thus been with me for over thirty years, and I'm comfortable with the ambiguity, with the process; I'm not sure a lot of people critical of AO3's content truly are. Perhaps some can't be, especially those affected by hate speech, but RPF is not hate speech. It's just fiction. Or is fiction "just fiction"? This is a question society as a whole is grappling with, although fandom seems to be a little out ahead of society in terms of how explicitly we discuss it.
The idea that prose can incite violence or cause harm is both valid to examine (witness the rise of fascism on the radio in the 20s, on Facebook and Twitter in the past ten years; they're very similar processes) and a very slippery slope. Because again: who decides what harm is, and what causes it, and what we do about it? Our values align us with certain beliefs, but those are only our values, not universal truths. So AO3 is part of the ongoing question of harm and benefit both to society and individuals.
AO3 itself, however, has a fairly defined policy that it is not meant to police content; it is an archive, not a bookstore or a school board. AO3 refines its TOS and policies as necessary, but the goal is always open access and as much freedom of expression as possible, and if that's uncomfortable for some people then that's a discussion we have to have; ignoring it won't make it go away. But it has to be a discussion, it can't be a unilateral change to the archive's TOS or a series of snaps and clapbacks, and I don't see a lot of people ready to move beyond flinging insults. Perhaps because they were taught a much more binary view of freedom of expression than I was.
So, self-evidently, I support AO3 and I don't have a problem with RPF. Whether other people do is something we're going to have to get to grips with, and that's likely to be a process that is still going on when most of us are dust. I'd rather have a century of ambiguity than a wrong answer tomorrow, anyway.
But whether AO3 hosts RPF is truly a separate issue from its donation drives, because it's a criticism some people level at the site which exists whether it's fundraising or not. So people can criticize AO3's open policy and they can give it as a reason not to support the site, but it's just one aspect of the archive and the fundraising as a whole should be examined separately.
I think AO3's fundraisers are deeply misunderstood (sometimes on purpose) because even people who are anticapitalist get a little crazy when money gets involved, and this is, to fandom, a lot of money -- a few hundred thousand, reliably, every fundraiser. To me, a fundraiser that pulls in three hundred grand is almost quaint; my current nonprofit pulls in better than ten million a year and my previous employer had an endowment of several billion dollars. At my old job I didn't even bother researching people who couldn't give us a hundred grand.
On the other hand, AO3 is an extreme and astounding outlier in the nonprofit world, because basically it's the only one of its kind to work the way it does. It is entirely volunteer-run on the operational side (ie: tag wranglers, coders, lawyers, etc) and has no fundraising staff (gift officers, researchers, outreach officers) as far as I'm aware. To pull in three hundred grand from individual one-time donations, without any paid staff and without even a volunteer fundraising officer? That's insane. That doesn't happen. Except at AO3.
What people misunderstand, however, is the basic status of a nonprofit, which is a legal status, not simply a social one. (I'm adding in some corrections here since it gets complicated and the terminology can be important!) The Organization for Transformative Works, the parent of AO3, is a nonprofit, which indicates how it was incorporated as an organization; additionally it is registered federally as tax-exempt, which carries certain perks, like not paying sales tax, and certain duties, like making their financials transparent to a certain extent. (Religious nonprofits are exempt from the transparency requirement.) If you're interested in more about nonprofits and tax-exempt status a reader dropped a great article here.
Nonprofits, unlike for-profit companies, cannot pay a share of their income to stakeholders. Nonprofits don't have financial stakeholders, only donors. They can have employees and pay them a salary -- that's me, for example -- but if a nonprofit pulls in $10M in donations, my salary is paid from that, I don't get a percentage and nobody else does either. That's what it means to be a nonprofit -- the money above operational costs goes back into the organization. The donations we (and AO3) receive must be plowed under and used for outreach, server maintenance, further fundraising, services expansion, et cetera. You can see this in the 990 forms on Guidestar or ProPublica, or in their more accessible breakdowns on Charity Navigator. Nonprofits that do not put the majority of their income towards service provision tend to get audited and lose their nonprofit status. So nobody's getting paid from all that money, and the overage that isn't spent goes into what is basically a savings account in the name of the nonprofit. (I'm vastly simplifying but that's the gist.) Using that money for personal purposes is illegal. It's called "private inurement" and there's a good article here about it. The money belongs to the OTW as a concept, not to anyone in or of the OTW.
So the biggest misunderstanding that I see in people who are mad at AO3 fundraisers is that "they" are getting all this money (who "they" are is never clearly stated but I'm pretty sure people think @astolat has a special wifi router that runs on burning hundred dollar bills) while "we" can't monetize our fanfic. But "they" get nothing -- nobody even earns a salary from AO3 -- and you can easily prove that by looking at the 990 forms they file with the government, which are required to be made public. You can see the most recently available 990, from 2020, here at Guidestar. Page seven will show you the "highest compensated" employees, all of whom are earning zero dollars or nonmonetary perks (that's the three columns on the right).
Either AO3 is entirely volunteer-run or someone's Doing A Real Fraud. The money the OTW spends is documented (that's page 10 and 11 primarily) and while they may pay for, say, the travel and lodging expenses of a lawyer going to DC to defend a freedom-of-expression case, they don't pay the lawyer for their time, or give them a cut of the income.
Despite what you've read, the reason "we" can't monetize our fanfics on AO3 has nothing to do with the site being the product of volunteer handiwork or AO3 having it in their terms of service or it being considered gauche by some to do so; it's because
IT'S ILLEGAL.
I cannot say this loudly enough: It is against the law for a nonprofit to be used by its staff, volunteers, or beneficiaries to earn direct profit from the services provided by the nonprofit.
You can be paid to work at one, but you cannot side-hustle by selling your handmade friendship bracelets for personal gain on the nonprofit's website. If the nonprofit knowingly allows monetization of its services, it can lose nonprofit status, be fined, be hit with back taxes, and a lot of other unpleasant bullshit can go down, including prosecution of those involved for fraud. If you put a ko-fi link on your fanfic, you are breaking the law, and if AO3 allows it, they are too.
Okay, that was a sidebar, but in some ways not, because it gets to the heart of the real complaints about AO3 fundraising, which is that people in fandom are sick or unhoused or in some form of need and other people in fandom are giving to AO3, a fan site that is financially stable, instead of giving to peoples' gofundmes or dropping money in their Ko-Fi or Paypal. And while it is a legitimate grievance that there are people who are in such desperate need while we live in an era of unprecedented abundance, that's not AO3's fault. AO3 doesn't solicit actively, there's no unasked-for mailings or calls from a gift officer. They just put a banner up on their website, and people give. (Again, this is incredibly outlier behavior in the nonprofit world, I'd do a case study on it but the conclusion would just be "shit's real, yo.") You might as well be mad that people give to their local food bank instead of someone's ko-fi.
You cannot lay at AO3's feet the fact that people want to give to AO3 instead of to your fundraiser. That's a choice individuals have made, and while you can engage with them in terms of why they made the philanthropic choices they did, to blame an organization they supported rather than the person who made the choice to give is not only incorrect but futile, and unlikely to win anyone over to supporting you. We know from research that guilt is not a tremendous motivator of philanthropy.
It is also not necessarily a binary choice; just because AO3 gets a hundred grand in $5 donations doesn't mean most of the people giving don't also give $5 elsewhere. I support the OTW on occasion, and I also fundraise for UNICEF and the Chicago Parks Foundation and BAGLY and others, in addition to giving monthly to several nonprofits that I have longterm relationships with -- my alma mater, the animal rescue where I got the Cryptids, my shul. And I give, occasionally and anonymously, to fundraisers that pass through Radio Free Monday, which are mainly individuals in need, because I was once in need and now I pay it forward. These are the choices I have made. Nobody twisted my arm. I respond poorly to someone making the attempt to do so by attacking places I've given.
I think the upshot is, after all of this that I've written, that we cannot begin to come to grips with questions of institutional inequality in philanthropy, or freedom of expression and censorship, until people actually understand what's going on, and too few do. So all I can do is try and explain, and hopefully create a forum for people to learn and grow when it comes to charitable giving.
Archive Of Our Own and the Organization for Transformative Works are products of our community and as that community changes, we will necessarily continue to re-evaluate what aspects of it mean and how AO3/OTW express the community sentiment. I hope that the ongoing discussion of support for AO3 also leads to people learning more about their philanthropic options. But criticizing AO3 for fundraising by attacking it for fulfilling one of its stated purposes is silly, and attempting to guilt people into giving in the ways one thinks they should give rather than how they do give is just going to make one extremely unlikable.
As members of this community, we have to be a part of the push and pull, but it's difficult to do that competently in ignorance. So, I do my best to be knowledgeable and to educate my readers, and I hope others will do the same.
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mindfulstudyquest · 23 days
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here's the reason you procrastinate
based on Fuschia Sirois' research
everyone procrastinate at some point. research suggests that almost 1 in 4 people procrastinate on a fairly regular basis, and the rates are even higher among college and university students ( 50% of them procrastinate regularly and about 85-90% do so occasionally ).
because procrastination is so common we tend not to put too much thought into it, in the end what is the problem? it's just delay.
well, it's not. actually procrastination is harmful delay ( so defined by the researchers ); it is a form of delay which is:
voluntary
unnecessary
involves important tasks which you intended to do
people often underestimate the consequences of procrastination and how debilitating and harmful it can be. if you delay dealing with ( for example ) your academic works, of course you can expect some negative results in that area, but what about the collateral consequences of it?
research has shown that people who have problems with procrastination have low physical and mental health and practice less healthy behaviors. they deal with depression, stress and anxiety.
just think about the enormous amount of stress that procrastination brings: first of all, constantly chasing deadlines. deadlines can nag anyone, even those who don't struggle with delaying, but then it ends, the job is turned in, and everything goes back to normal. for procastinators this is not the case, they will keep putting off important things and will constantly end up with an imminent deadline.
so, if it's so harmful for your health, why do people do it? some people think it's about laziness or poor time managment, but actually:
laziness isn't procrastination. if you're lazy you don't have the energy to do anything, instead procrastinators are always busy with a thousand non-essential tasks to do, in fact they avoid doing one specific task, not every task ( for example if i need to study, but i'm procrastinating it, i end up cleaning my room )
poor time managment it's actually a symptom of procrastination, not a cause.
from a psychological perspective the origins of procrastination are rooted in negative emotions and the urge to cope with them through avoidance. so actually procrastination is about poor mood managment, not poor time managment.
procrastination starts when we have a task that's unpleasant, but we have to do it. and we use procrastination then as a way to get relief from those negative emotions associated with the task, so basically it's not even about avoiding the task, but it's about avoid the negative emotions that we associate with the task.
we need to avoid stress and aversive feeling that come with the task, especially when we don't feel like we can manage those negative emotions at the moment. so we take the task, we put it aside, and it's instant relief. it's fast, it's easy and it works for a little while, then that sense of shame, guilt and self-blame starts to kick in.
so why do we keep procrastinating? for that sense of relief, because that made us feel rewarded and we tend to repeat behaviors that rewarded us. this can easily lead to a cycle of procrastination.
however, the negative thoughts that we have ( "why didn't i start earlier?", "i'm letting myself down" etc. ) don't actually make us take action. they just add layers of layers on pre-existing negativity.
so how do you get out of the procastination cycle?
go back to valuing your task, if it's so important that you do it, remind yourself why you are doing it
remember that we tend to overestimate the discomfort that a given challenge will bring us. probably your task isn't even that time-consuming, unpleasant and frustrating
be compassionate and and forgive yourself, it's an effective strategy to reduce the negative emotions associated with the task. you are not the first nor the last person to procrastinate, we are all human and we all make mistakes. research has shown that doing so reduces the risk of procastination.
hope you enjoyed this little explanation, here's my sources: https://youtu.be/xTEPNxx0MsA
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plutosunshine · 8 months
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The way to welcome the best opportunities in your life
The ruler of the MC can show us the way we get recognition, respect, and success. MC has a lot of interpretations but one of them is the most commonly used - your life purpose, goal, and direction to your highest potential. We are going to look through all the house rulers to know what can help you to achieve your life goals.
The ruler of MC is in the 1st house
The only way you can get success and fulfill all your ambitions is your self-awareness and strong self-esteem. You need to go from “Am I worthy?” To “I will get it done no matter what”. Progress with your self-confidence will invite the best opportunities into your life. You need to understand your worth and build an identity. Knowing who you are and what you stand for is the best way to achieve your goals. You have to trust your gut and follow your ambitions, passionately bringing them to life. You need to learn how to rely on yourself on this journey. Relieve all the passion you have and navigate it to your goals. Your highest potential is YOU, your identity, ambitions, and confidence. You need to be the leader of your life, so to say the main character of your own movie. Don’t be afraid of being too assertive and even intense - these qualities are going to lead you to your greatest success.
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The ruler of MC is in the 2nd house
Understanding your worth and building your system of values is the best way to your success. You need to adjust your ambitions to your values and no other way around. Your stubbornness and fixation on goals will lead you on this journey. You have to trust your principles and follow them with all persistence you have and this will welcome the best opportunities in your life. Sometimes it may feel that everything is stuck and nothing is changing but by continuing to follow your life rules and values you will win the life. You need to discover all the talents you have on this journey because it is so important to use all the gifts the universe has given you with this placement. Don’t be afraid of showing who you are because it is the only way you can achieve the greatest goals in your life.
The ruler of MC is in the 3rd house
A flexible attitude to the world will welcome the best opportunities into your life. You need to be open and curious about everything in your life because for you nothing is set in stone. You have to understand that there is no one truth for everyone and every situation requires an individual approach. This attitude will help you to meet life situations with flexible thinking. You will be able to adjust your decisions to the changes. It is the best way to succeed for this placement. Also, you have to understand that the lack of information and knowledge will lead you nowhere. You need to be on the go, changing together with the world. It’s important to know what the agenda is. Let your fixated ideas go and trust the universe with its constant changes.
The ruler of MC is in the 4th house
Balancing your emotions and feelings out will welcome the best opportunities in your life. You need to define your traumas, name them, and heal them. This will help you to dig deep into your emotional side and sort out everything that is going on there. It is important to find a connection between your body and soul. Meditation and other practices may help with that. In order to succeed you need to have a clear head that is not full of fears, worries, and anxiety. Once you get in touch with your emotional side and deal with it, all the best opportunities will come to your life effortlessly.
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The ruler of MC is in the 5th house
Expressing and showing your creative side to the world will bring you great success. When you suppress your creative and unique side, you feel like life is meaningless and not full. You need to get in touch with your nature and dig deep into your authentic self. It is the first step and the second is the harder one. You need to express your true self. Don’t close it in a closet because it may become an uncontrollable wild animal and you won't control that. You have to slowly but steadily open the door of the closet and show this little you the world. It may be scary at first but once you trust the universe, the best opportunities will come to your life effortlessly. Don’t hide your authentic self!
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The ruler of MC is in the 6th house
Getting new knowledge and becoming the best version of yourself will welcome the best opportunities in your life. It is very important not to be stagnant with this placement. You need to follow your principles and it would be great if you have a healthy lifestyle. Getting new knowledge always helps the 6th house to reach the highest potential. Without learning or reading the 6th house doesn’t get enough stimulation. It is good when you have a goal and persistently reach it. Also, helping others out with small things stimulate your 6th house and you get inspiration. But the most important key to this placement is surely self-improvement.
The ruler of MC is in the 7th house
Finding balance within all your life areas will welcome the best opportunities in your life. You need to set peace and harmony within yourself in order to move forward in life. Also, some sort of partnership may help you very much in life. It doesn’t necessarily have to be love but any one-to-one relationship. Being in a connection you see the sides of yourself that is impossible to see being alone. The partner helps you to open your potential and use it in the outside world. Support and encouragement from your close one is very important for you. It helps you to move forward without any hesitation. Of course, be aware of co-dependency tendencies! And don’t rely on the opinion of you from others.
The ruler of MC is in the 8th house
Digging deep into your fears, worries, and traumas will welcome the best opportunities in your life. The 8th house is all about going deep and almost always it is not easy. You may have been through a lot on your way to finding your life purpose. The 8th house tells that you are insightful and intuitive and that may help you to get the best opportunities in life. Also, you are good at helping other people to find and heal their traumas. With this placement, you could be a good spiritual teacher. Working on your traumas and healing them is the best way to get the best opportunities in life for you.
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The ruler of MC is in the 9th house
Exploring the world and expanding your horizons will welcome the best opportunities in your life. You need to learn how to live independently, following your own rules. You are meant to break the boundaries and find your own special way. You are capable of guiding and teaching people and that may help you a lot. You have a great talent for motivating others. Getting new experiences and being brave to try something new will always welcome the best in your life. A positive and even playful attitude to life is the best choice for you.
The ruler of MC is in the 10th house
Finding and reaching the purpose will welcome the best opportunities in your life. This placement is very strong and you can achieve whatever you set in mind but you have to find the goal. The worst scenario for this placement is to live without any purpose or plans. You have so much potential to grow and achieve the greatest things that you must direct all your forces to reach your goals. It may be anything, you just have to have the direction in life and build the whole life around it. Otherwise, you may feel that you don’t use your high potential.
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The ruler of MC is in the 11th house
Being open-minded, independent, and your authentic self will welcome the best opportunities in your life. You have to understand your true self and don’t be afraid of showing it to others. You are unique and special and you may feel not happy if you don’t open this side of yourself. Let yourself be free, creative, and open to everything! Dream big because this placement is all about bringing dreams to life. Also, participating in some sort of organizations, groups, or even just groups of friends will inspire you and give you energy.
The ruler of MC is in the 12th house
Listening to your intuition and trusting your gut will welcome the best opportunities in your life. Also, don’t hide your creativity and direct it into some field. Whether it be art or something else, your creativity is healing. Healing is another important part of your success. You are meant to heal your deep wounds and help others with that. You just know unconsciously how to help. Helping is also another important part! You will welcome the best opportunities by helping others, even if it is just a small thing.
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the-daydreaming-show · 9 months
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❝baby mine, don't you cry❞ — Richard “Dick” Grayson
jason's version
The arrival of your first child and the chaotic energy he brings into your life (which is saying a lot, why chaos is a part of you). So imagine the gray hair you obtained thanks to your First Joy.
NOTE:
People forget that as Dick was a troublesome little sh*t and he still is. We love him but he is the chaotic son and @igotmessymind agrees with me!!!
This story is part or the BATMOM SCARLET WITCH UNIVERSE that i have create. I hope you enjoy!!!
𝐅𝐀𝐍𝐅𝐈𝐂 𝐌𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓.
WARNINGS: Dick's parents die; a boy who is very angry with the world; a very stressed new mother (you); Bruce is there, but that's not what this story is about, but he is a good father in this world.
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Technically, the first time you met Dick was directly after his parents died, but he wouldn't remember that until he was an adult. And you never counted that as your first interaction with your boy because of the tragedy of the whole scenario.
You and Bruce had gone to the circus that day in the subtlest way a Wayne could go anywhere. It was a date night, one that both of you had recently defined as mandatory every week. First so that Bruce could have a break, and second because that way you guys started spending time together somewhere other than the batcave. Something that, according to Alfred, you both desperately needed as a couple.
You two were in the front row when Mary and John Grayson plummeted to their deaths in the middle of their circus act, leaving a horrified ten-year-old Dick. The boy's scream was something that, even years later, if you closed your eyes, you could still hear with terrifying clarity. Once the tent was evacuated and the crime scene isolated by the GCPD, the newly promoted Captain Jim Gordon arrived and, before you left, he very subtly approached you and your husband. He asked you if you could do something for the child. The forensics team will arrive at any moment now, and they will have to uncover the bodies. Nobody couldn't get Dick to move or to react in any way, and Jim wanted to spare the boy seeing his parents like this more than he already had.
Jim had been aware of your and your husband's identities for a while, so the request didn't surprise you. To the contrary, you quickly agreed. He took you back to the tent. Dick had been lowered from the platform, but he remained curled up in a ball on the floor, next to where the bodies of his parents were covered in white sheets, which were turning redder from day to day. Little with each passing moment. You approached him, with the most delicate step possible, and placed a hand on his hundred, entering his mind gently and gently guiding his consciousness out of the shock of the situation. It was superficial magic that didn't get you into the boy's mind very much, just enough to help him and not force him. In a few seconds the boy's head snapped up, and you let Jim quickly take control of the situation, allowing one of his detectives to guide you back out of the closed area, then back to your husband. 
You had to help your husband out of his own shock that same night, forcing him to stay home and not go out as Batman, without accepting any complaints. Alfred helped, agreeing with the idea immediately. The death of the Grayson's in front of his own son was something that came very close to Bruce's heart, too many buried memories that arose uncontrollably.
The first official meeting that both of you remember is almost two weeks later. After you and Bruce had decided to take care of little Dick into your own hands. All because you find out how the boy kept sneaking out of the houses where the state put him at least once a day since that fateful night.
“Dick, this is my beautiful wife, y/n Wayne” Bruce introduced them both that day when the boy arrived with his suitcase and his eyes wide open, surprised by all the luxury that Wayne Manor represents. Smile at yourself and look briefly at your husband in reproach for his choice of words. He just shrugged, not at all sorry for his words. It's the truth. You ARE beautiful, and you are MY wife, he thought in his defence, knowing you would listen. You rolled your eyes and returned your attention to the child between the two of you.
“It's a pleasure, Mr. Wayne” The boy said suspiciously, but politely, not believing how good the situation looked for him and not trusting you or your husband at all.
“It's nice to meet you too, Dick” you told him, smiling sweetly “No need to be so formal, just call me y/n, it's fine”
Dick's mind couldn't stop thinking about how pretty you were. The way you were sweet in that first meeting was bittersweet for him, because he reminded him of his own mother, of that affection that she used to give him and that he would never receive from her anymore.
“Lunch is almost done” you tell him as you lean a little more towards Bruce for support, “Are you hungry?. Alfred prepared a buffet just to welcome you” you explained trying to push those thoughts away for now, you desperately wanted him to feel good and comfortable there.
“Alfred?” the boy asked, confused.
“Our butler” Bruce explained 
“He's more like family than anything” you clarified, “Like a grumpy grandpa who won't let you touch the stove without breathing over your shoulder” you teased a bit.
“Did he say my name, Mistress y/n?” said the aforementioned, coming from the kitchen and looking at you accusingly.
“No, not at all” you denied it and Dick couldn't help but smile a little at the mischief, to which you winked at him and offered your hand.
“Come on, let me show you the dining room” you invited him and the boy left your hand dangling for a moment, thinking about his next move. But, since you didn't stop smiling or offering him your hand, Dick decided to take it last, mainly because he was hungry.
Dick let you guide him, serve him food. He talked to you a bit during the meal until Bruce had to go to Wayne Enterprises for a meeting, then you showed him the mansion and his room. You promised him that you would go shopping this week to decorate it to his liking so that he would feel more comfortable.
During that week was the honeymoon phase.
The social worker you and Bruce had meetings with before Dick arrived explained about the phase. It's when everything seems perfect and the child shares his best manners. Either out of fear of how you would react. Or hoping to see how long your stay in the house would last, if it's worth getting used to or not. But the act would end sooner or later.
And it was exactly one week later (a Tuesday to be exact), the day after Dick started attending his new school, that the boy act ended and the adjustment phase officially began.
“This stage is the most difficult, so I need you to be prepared for it, especially in a case like Richard's” the social worker explained to both of you with seriousness. You had taken every word she gave you with like it was the bible, but at the end you still weren't ready when it started and everything that happened hit you like a truck.
You were in your studio in downtown Gotham, having a meeting with the designers who work with you and discussing that winter's new clothing collection for the brand. When Nina, your personal assistant, enters the office after timidly knocking on the door with a worried face.
“Mrs. Wayne” she called out to you, to which you look at her, smiling kindly upon seeing her “I know that you asked me not to bother you unless it was an emergency” she said, remembering what you had told her, you frowned immediately worried, because Nina was extremely effective and if she was there it was because it was genuinely an emergency “Gotham Academy is on call, it's about your son” she told you, and you immediately called off the meeting before leaving on the phone.
It turned out that not only had the school called, but GCPD had called Bruce around the same time.  Dick, your only ten-year-old boy, had run away from school and ended up being found in Crime Alley by an officer who recognised him from the news.  The officer in turn informed Jim Gordon, knowing the proximity to the Wayne's, and he gave the order to bring the boy to his office in the centre of the city, to then call your husband.  You never knew what god to thank for Dick that would have been found by one of the few good cops in Gotham, but you did anyway.
“What is he thinking?” you asked worriedly while talking on the phone with Bruce, already on your way to the police station, with Alfred driving, “Anything could have happened to him.  If he didn't want to go to school he could have said, he insisted on starting this week, I don't understand!-” you stopped, passing your hand over your eyes and sighing heavily.
“That was probably the point, love” Bruce said softly. “He wanted you to leave him at school and not think about the matter anymore.  It is likely that his plan would have always been to escape, surely he would have done the same yesterday if he had not been assigned a partner for his first day” he explained to you, his voice accompanied by the movement of papers on the desk in his own office.
The day before, which had been Dick's first day of school since the death of his parents, the school had assigned one of its older students to guide him on that day, so he had been watched all day. But that day had been different, and your son had gotten up in the bathroom in the middle of the first class, and had not returned to the classroom. So the school had called you when they realised the boy was missing.  And Jim had called Bruce shortly after when the patrolman found him. And Dick had taken a cab to Crime Alley, of all the places.
“He's safe, you need to calm down, love” Bruce continued, getting up from his desk, to walk up to the large windows in his office and look out over the city, as if he could see you from the top of Wayne Tower “We'll talk to him when he gets home, before dinner, but upsetting you like that won't help” he advised you, even though he was just as worried about what had happened.
“Alright, alright” you whispered while taking a deep breath.
At the door of the police station you were met by a uniform who was waiting for Jim's orders, who took you to the captain's office where, sitting with his head down and his arms crossed tightly across his chest, you found Dick. 
“Richard Grayson” you started in a stern tone, walking towards him and crouching down in front of him, to check that he wasn't hurt. “¿What were you thinking?¿Why do you think of getting in Crime Alley alone?” you asked calmly but firmly, looking at me as the boy avoided returning the gesture “Dick, look at me” you insisted, looking for his gaze, but the boy continued to refuse, almost tempted to close his eyes to make his denial clear. 
“Mrs. Wayne” Captain Gordon called to you from his desk, where he had been watching the interaction, and you quickly stood up to greet him.
“Jim, you don't know how much I appreciate you for this. I almost had a heart attack when the school called me to say that Dick was missing” you told him as you shook his hand. 
“Don't worry, your boy was just taking a walk, a bit of a dangerous adventure, but he came out without a scratch” he reassured you while looking at the crestfallen boy sitting next to you, and he did not miss the way your hand trembled slightly “Gomez” the officer who had brought you to the door looked at his boss ready to receive his order “Why don't you take little Dick to get something to eat from the vending machine down the hall?” and his question didn't need an answer. Dick left with Officer Gomez without saying a word, as you watched his back walk away through the glass in the office door.
“Y/n, please, sit down” Jim asked as he approached one of the chairs on the guest side of his desk, sitting down across from you immediately after you did.
“I'm sorry, I just-” You tried to apologise for how upset you were, but the man stopped you with an understanding smile.
“Don't worry, y/n. I was close to an aneurysm the first time my Barbs ran away from school” he told you trying to calm you down, to which you giggled at the thought of the adorable red-haired little girl who was the only daughter of the Gordon family.
“They start younger and younger” you plead, with a mixture of amusement and concern looking at the older man.
“Well this is Gotham, our kids have to grow up faster than others” he explained to you, while he served a glass of water from the jug that he had on his desk “Your butler had the same reaction when I found your husband walking in the same place years ago, shortly after the death of Thomas and Martha” he remembered, offering you the glass, which you accepted with anguish.
“God, he already acts like Bruce, and he hasn't even been with us for two weeks” you lamented, to which Jim couldn't help but chuckle a bit at your concern.
“Welcome to parenthood, your heart gets used to it sooner or later” he comforted you, running his hand down your back reassuringly.
Things got worse before they got better. Dick started running away not only from school, but from home, and he started yelling at you at unexpected times. There was no way for you to figure out what was making him mad because it was different what you did or didn't do every time he started his tantrum.
That was the case for more than two months after the first incident. Alfred told you that Bruce had been the same for a full year after his parents died. Bruce told you it wasn't your fault, despite what the kid was yelling at YOU all the time. But you could do more than feel guilty. You didn't want to fix things with your magic. When you retired you decided that your life could not be what you did with your power, it was more than just your power, and it was time to start accepting it, enjoying it. But you don't know how to help him without that power, either, at least not in a very deep way. So you did the only thing you could think of, you kept offering your hand to little Dickie, even though half the time he seemed to want to bite his hand.
It all came to a head one afternoon after you brought a very angry Dick to Wayne Manor from school. Gotham Academy had called you to talk after he tried to escape again. They informed you that maybe it was time for you and Bruce to look for another school for the boy, since his behaviour was not appropriate for the establishment.
“Dick, we need to talk” you called out to the boy, seeing him run towards the stairs as soon as you closed the front door. Alfred was shopping for dinner and Bruce was at League HQ, so you were the only one to argue with the kid that day “Dick Grayson, come back here, we're going to have a talk about this sooner or later” you said, going after the boy with a calm step, but Dick heard you coming and ran to his room at the moment he made the second floor of the house, slamming the door shut before you managed to finish climbing the stairs.
You sighed heavily as you stopped at the sound of the door slamming. You wanted desperately to go into the room and demand that the boy tell you what was bothering him so much, you wanted desperately to fix whatever was bothering him so much. But you knew you couldn't really fix the source of his problems, even if you had the magical potential to do so. You learned long ago that death is something even you must let take its course, for the sake of the very existence of the whole. You also didn't want to enter the boy's mind with magic, it wouldn't be fair to him to do that, so your options were limited at the end of the day. So you stood there, helpless.
You were having a hard time, not because you didn't want the task of taking care of Dick, but because it was a mixture of situations that seemed unfair to you. First the poor boy lost his parents together in front of his eyes, and he did so after the death of the Scarlet Witch, after you decided it was better to start a life without the chaos magic that characterised you. If the boy had crossed your path a couple of years earlier, neither Mary nor John had fallen to their deaths that day, you would have stopped it right there in that tent of the circus without much thought. But it hadn't been.
Although, you didn't need to read his mind to know one thing: Dick hated you. Totally and intensely. He had made it clear to you on more than one occasion.
And yes, he did. Dick hated everything about you. He hated the way you made his room look like the ideal in his mind of what he wanted. How you personally prepared his lunches for school. How you wore it and personally attracted you everywhere. How you smile with affection, how you patiently accept every insult and scream. I also hated how you tried so hard that he wouldn't notice that Bruce wasn't there much. Or how you always found him when he got lost in the halls. Also, when you brought him cookies and hot chocolate when he couldn't sleep, even though sugar didn't really help him sleep at all. He only made him happy for a while.
Why couldn't you be like the wicked stepmothers of the stories? 
It would be easier for him.
He hated the way you loved him, because it made him want his mom back, and it made him remember that she was gone, it made him want to accept you and Bruce as his family too. But he didn't need a new family. He necessitated his family, his parents, and his circus friends. He wanted his life back.
He hated you. He hated you. He hated you.
Dick curled up on the bed, with the blankets you personally picked out with him, which were Superman, and hid his head on the pillow. There he remained. At eleven years old, Dick had never been the type to be capricious or suspicious. His parents had always taken pride in saying that his son was very well-behaved and fit in wherever they went with the show. But now he just wanted to hate and never stop doing it, he didn't want anything else because the world was cruel, and it didn't deserve more than his hate. You didn't deserve more than that for being so good that it made him want to feel like before, and it pulled his mind to a better place every time you caressed his hair lovingly and made him feel at home.
That night, after eating the sandwich that Alfred had kindly given him when he refused to come down for dinner, he went to sleep without expecting you to come and say good night, as you had done since he arrived at the mansion. Usually, he didn't go to sleep easily, but his desire to avoid you overcame the fear of his nightmares, so he quickly fell asleep.
You arrived after he began to snore softly, already sunk in sleep. You entered, opening the door as quietly as possible, to see him spread out on his bed, with his pyjamas on, and the sheets almost falling off the bed due to his movements. Likewise, you couldn't help but feel the tenderness warm your heart, thinking to yourself that this should be a good step on the right path, because the boy hadn't slept well since he arrived at the mansion and since before, according to the reports of the social worker. So that he was sleeping at that time was good. You took victory silently and closed the door to the room, using the surface of your powers to close the curtains that let the moonlight into the room before walking away. 
You went down to the cave after that, where Bruce was getting ready to go out for the night.
“How is he?” he asked while putting on his gloves, as soon as he heard you walking out of the elevator.
“He's asleep” you told him with a big smile, happy for the small victory.
“Really?” Bruce asked, pleasantly surprised.
“Yes” you answer, reaching her side, unable to contain the smile of happiness, for that reason “I know it's not much considering what happened today-” you started, but your husband stopped you by placing his hands on your cheeks affectionately.
“It's a good thing” he assured you, smiling at you, and you kissed his lips lightly “We still need to talk to him tomorrow though” Bruce said, gently breaking your bubble, to which you sighed.
“If it makes you feel any better, Mistress y/n” Alfred began from the chair in front of the batcomputer “I could make you a list of the number of private schools Master Bruce was expelled from before he finally calmed down” he offered to what Bruce rolled his eyes in amusement “It's including Gotham Academy, of course” he clarified with amusement.
The night passed as normally as it could. But around one in the morning you went upstairs to check on Dick, as you always did at night when you stayed in the cave. It was the third time you'd checked, and he'd been fine the first two times, having started snoring louder on each visit.
So you expected to hear the boy snoring when you reached the hallway of his room, instead, you were met with crying. You stopped in place for a moment, because it was the first time you had heard Dick cry since he had arrived at the mansion.
“Mama” the boy cried, half awake and half asleep, “Mama” kept calling between sobs that shook her little body violently.
The most instinctive part of you walked quickly towards the door with a soft step, but the same logic made you stop at the door before even touching the handle, apart from that he told you that the boy was calling for his mom, for Mary. Not for you, he didn't want you. And for a moment you decided that you would not go in, and we let him cry all he needed, and tomorrow you would try to get him to talk about it. It might be a good time to suggest therapy. Yes, that was the best option and the best way to handle the situation.
“Mom, mom” you heard. Now fully awake, Dick continued to sob with his broken heart, and he broke yours with the sound of his cracking voice. So the institute won.
You walked into the room ready to be yelled at almost immediately. But you did it anyway, sure-footed and ready to do whatever it took to make your precious boy stop suffering once and for all. You knew that that would never leave him, but you would still try.
“Dickie, baby” you said as you approached the bed, to sit on the edge of the mattress next to him, running a hand over his back as he continued to cry and sobbed loudly “My joy, it's okay, you're-” and then the force of the child colliding with your chest stopped you.
In the time Dick had been there, he had never allowed you or Bruce or Alfred to get any closer than to hold his hand or stroke his hair. So when the boy threw himself at you crying and hugging your waist as if his life depended on it, he surprised you. He was hugging you as if he was afraid that you would disappear from one second to the next (theoretically you could do that, it was part of your powers, but that wasn't what the boy was afraid of). He sobbed into your chest as his knuckles turned white from clinging to you.
“It's okay, my joy” you comforted him, hugging him back and kissing his hair “Everything will be alright” you promised him, not quite sure what else to say to make him feel better and hugging him tighter to match his strength, so he would understand that you won't be leaving soon
“I want my mum” the boy sobbed, not with an internal intention to hurt you, but as if asking you to do something. You were an adult, you could fix anything, that's what adults do, and the ten-year-old was practically begging you desperately for a solution as he felt.
“Oh, I know, Dickie. I know” you said hugging him tighter “I'm so sorry, baby” you apologised, feeling bad for having no more than words to handle the situation, knowing that nothing will bring that child back to his parents, no matter how much you want to make it happen for him.
You would do anything for that boy. You would destroy yourself, and you would build yourself up again. Not only that, but you would empty out entire universes and kill God himself if necessary. But for now, you just held him while he cried, while he called out to a mother who lay twenty feet under. You knew, at that moment, that there would never be anything you wouldn't do for that boy. And Dick decided that night that maybe you weren't so bad.
Dick Grayson couldn't believe he was standing in the Batcave. He also couldn't believe his adoptive father was Batman. Now he understood why he was always missing for so long, it wasn't that Bruce was ignoring him, it was that he was down there, being a hero for Gotham City. His mind was racing as he walked around the place asking your husband questions and inspecting every nook, artefact, and blemish he found in the place. You and Bruce watched him from a distance, grinning like fools at the uncontrollable excitement of the boy who had long felt like he was your own.
“This is AMAZING” Dick would say whenever something particularly struck him, which means he said it every few seconds.
“See, he told you he would be excited” you told your husband while you took his hand, he smiled at you and brought your clasped hands to his lips to kiss your knuckles affectionately. A silent way of telling you: You were right, love.
“WOW” exclaimed the boy, he was now standing on the platform where the different suits that your husband had used as Batman are displayed “With all due respect, Bruce, but it's good that you left behind the combination of purple and yellow, it was too much” the boy scoffed, pointing at the first suit on display behind him.
“It was the eighties” your husband defended himself with a grimace, rolling his eyes at how similar the comment was to the one you had made the first time you set foot in the cave several years ago. You just laughed as you looked at him, happily remembering that moment.
“Purple looks amazing on you, my love” you assured him, caressing his cheek with your free hand. “Very intimidating” you said, to which both you and Dick chuckled, while Bruce continued to regret his fashion decisions.
“I tried to talk him out of it, Master Dick” Alfred commented, joining the bandwagon of teasing Bruce about his old fashion decisions. “But he insisted,” he shrugged gracefully.
“Okay, I'm going to throw him out of my cave if you don't leave my purple suit alone” Bruce complained, to which you and Dick shared an amused look before the boy returned his attention to the suits on display. Alfred smiled as he watched you kiss your husband in compensation, earning me a goofy smile from him, the one the butler had seen a lot since you two got married.
“HOLY SHIT” Dick suddenly exclaimed, to which you and Bruce turned to look at him wearing it, your husband ready to spring into action at your son's exclamation “You've got the Scarlet Witch suit here!!” the boy exclaimed excitedly, looking at your husband in disbelief before running to stand in front of the glass where your old suit is on display. Well, the word suit was an understatement, because it was a red bodysuit, with a belt, the cape, and high boots. An outfit that was not the best choice for fighting, but you never question it too much, because you were always comfortable in yourself and in that outfit, too.
Bruce and you shared a look. It was time to drop the second bomb on the boy. Now you were the one worried about her reaction.
“How did you get it?” Dick asked excitedly, his nose glued to the glass, pawing it with his breath “I thought the Justice League couldn't get her body back from the Dimension of the Damned after she closed the portal to save us” he said, thinking aloud, while analysing the garment.
Up close, he could see the details of the fabric, the way the cloak had a texture and wasn't smooth as it seemed watching it from the television. It was as if magic was embedded in the fabric, and it moved even when she was still on the mannequin. The boy was fascinated, definitely marking this as the best day of his life.
“Well that's true. The League was unable to recover her body after she closed the portal” explained Bruce, as he hugged your waist, pressing his fingers against you at the memory of those events that still haunt him “But the suit is here for its protection, nothing more, it still belongs to its owner” Bruce finished, letting the boy think a little about his words.
“Wait,” Dick said, frowning and turning away from the video, to walk to the railing of the platform. And how do you have it, if she never left the Dimension of the Damned?” the boy frowned, thinking hard that how could it be that this was the original costume.
“It's more like early retirement than death” Dick jumped in place when you appeared next to him, speaking sweetly to him “But yes, the Scarlet Witch never made it out of the Dimension of the Damned” you explained to him, while you crouch in front of him, the boy turned to face you still confused by what he was saying “Dick, do you remember that we told you that we had to tell you a couple of things?” you asked him and the boy quickly nodded “Well first we wanted to tell you that Bruce is Batman, as you already deduced” you pointed to your husband on the lowest platform “And the other one is that I'm-” Before you could say more, Dick squealed with excitement again.
“YOU ARE THE SCARLET WITCH, HOLY FUCK!!” the boy yelled with his eyes as wide as his eyelids would allow.
“Language, Master Dick” Alfred scolded absently from below.
“OH-MY-GOD” The boy yelled again, looking at me as if you were hanging the stars from the sky, throwing himself on you, hugging you with his arms around your neck “I knew you weren't dead, I argued every day with my friends about this, it didn't make sense for YOU to die just like that, no amount of spawn could kill the Scarlet Witch, it's absurd-” The boy began to ramble as you picked him up in your arms, he hug your hips with his legs intuitively, and you walked down with him in your arms. Smiling softly at the boy's excitement, it was Bruce's turn to give you the Told you so look “This is the BEST day of my life” Dick finished his ramblings as you pulled up next to Bruce, with him still sitting on your hip, and proceeded to grab your husband's neck and hug you both tight. The pull made your husband laugh at the boy's sudden outburst. “My parents are the coolest people on the planet next to Superman, this is the best” the boy declared proudly, ignoring the surprised looks you and Bruce shared immediately after that.
It was the first time his parents had called you, and Dick didn't even think about it much longer, it came out of him so naturally that you two didn't say anything else either. You were mom after that and Bruce was dad, as if the boy had forgotten how to say his name from one moment to the next. And he did it with the greatest happiness in the world.
That night, after Bruce went out on patrol, and you dragged a still very excited Dick to bed, as you tucked him into bed, tucking the covers over him, your son's face suddenly scrunched up at a particular thought.
“What's up, Dikie?” you asked, as you ran your hand over her forehead, concerned at the sudden change in expression.
“Weren't Batman and the Scarlet Witch supposed to hate each other?” he asked you confused, looking down with his head tilted from his pillow.
You laughed, relieved and amused by the question.
“That, my boy, is a story for another day”
And that was it.
TAGLIST: If someone wants to be added or removed from this list, they can request it, is OPEN.
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tarotwithavi · 3 months
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3 things you need to let go of in order manifest your dream life
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1. Fear of Rejection
Do you realize that your fear of rejection is holding you back from doing so many things? Also why do you fear rejection ever thought about that? Yes we all fear something and rejection is a really scary word. Nobody likes rejection but the truth is the fear of rejection is what is holding us back and those who have let it go of this fear have achieved great things. Everybody is afraid of rejection so to say but what kind of rejection? Societal rejection that the society won't accept you for who you are, romantic rejection that your crush won't like you back or rejection from your own self? Why do you reject yourself? Why do you reject your thoughts? Why do you think that you are not capable of what you desire? This may not be a big thing but in order to evolve and grow you need to go through these questions and ask yourself why you fear rejection.
3 things to do to let go of this fear
Understanding Impermanence: Recognize that rejection is a part of life, and it doesn't define your worth. People's opinions and circumstances change, and rejection doesn't necessarily reflect a permanent state.
Focusing on Growth: Embrace rejection as an opportunity for personal growth. Learn from the experience, adapt, and use it as a stepping stone towards self-improvement.
Building Resilience: Develop resilience by realizing that not every rejection is a personal attack. Building a strong sense of self allows you to withstand setbacks and move forward with confidence.
2. Expectations
Sometimes you expect too much from people and from yourself too and when you cannot fulfill those expectations you feel upset. You have a great heart and there is no doubt about how pure and innocent your energy is. You do your best in everything you do, if you love someone you love them from all your heart and you will do everything for them. You expect others to do the same for you, expecting is not a bad thing but being upset over others not fulfilling YOUR expectations is not good. You need to let go of those expectations. And you don't have to live up to others expectations also. As a human we always expect others to do something for us or we just expect something in return. It's in our nature. You don't have to fulfill others' expectations and others don't have to fulfill yours. So you just need to let go of “expectations”.
Mindful Awareness: Be conscious of your expectations and question whether they are realistic. Sometimes, expectations can set you up for disappointment if they are too rigid or dependent on external factors.
Embracing Flexibility: Cultivate flexibility and openness to different outcomes. This doesn't mean lowering standards, but rather being adaptable to the twists and turns that life may bring.
Communicating Expectations: Clearly communicate your expectations to others when appropriate. This reduces the chances of misunderstandings and aligns everyone involved.
3. Self-Doubt
We've all been there, right? Dealing with self-doubt is like a universal thing and is a common human experience. But, let's be real for a moment, when did we let that self-doubt become the boss of our lives? Like, where did it even come from? Because, let's face it, it's not like self-doubt runs in the family or is scribbled into our DNA. Nah, it's more about what others toss at us. I used to doubt myself and still do actually(sometimes). But hey, I'm putting in the work. The more I do, the clearer it gets why the wise ones always say, "Who cares what anyone else thinks?" It's like, do you, be you, and forget the noise from the peanut gallery.
Positive Self-Talk: Challenge negative thoughts with positive affirmations. Focus on your strengths and past successes to counteract self-doubt.
Setting Realistic Goals: Break down larger goals into smaller, achievable steps. This allows you to build confidence gradually and see tangible progress.
Seeking Support: Share your concerns with trusted friends or a mentor. External perspectives can provide valuable insights and encouragement, helping you overcome self-doubt.
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gay-jesus-probably · 11 months
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Okay so I have a lot of thoughts about the whole thing of the Gerudo being a race of entirely women, with the only exception being one man born every hundred years, and that man automatically being their king. Now this worldbuilding comes from Ocarina of Time, and there's obviously a metric fuckton of unfortunate implications there, because it was 1998. And it seems that Tears of the Kingdom is sticking with the lore of Gerudo men being extremely rare and becoming the King of their people, which once again has a metric fuckton of unfortunate implications because it's 2023 and Nintendo has somehow gotten even worse about this shit.
But let's set aside the whole... everything, and look at this from just the in-universe perspective. How does it work? I mean, it's pretty clear that there is no overlap between the kings; the old ones are normally long gone by the time a new one is born, but the Gerudo manage to take care of themselves during the hangtime. So they must have an established system of government and leadership that doesn't involve a king, and somehow that system is set up in a way that does a smooth transfer of power once a new king is born and old enough to take the throne. But why bother always declaring a random guy to be your King when you already have a perfectly functional system in place?
I mean again, the whole thing has a lot of sexist implications, but we're not looking at this from a real world context, we're examining it in-universe. And we could just go the lazy route and say that their king is in charge just because he's the only man, but I don't like that. I mean come on, the Gerudo are a race of entirely women, and most of their outside problems come from Hylian men being creepy about it. They are entirely a matriarchy; there is literally no reason for their culture to have an inherent respect for men, even if the man in question is one of them. And they're desert people; they live in an extremely harsh and dangerous landscape, if they don't have their shit together, they will die. By sheer necessity, their culture needs to put a lot of value in being practical, because if they're stupid about things, people die. They really can't afford to have a shitty leader take over, and just letting some guy take the wheel doesn't really fit with the way their culture must otherwise work.
So again, why the fuck do they bother having a King?
I think it's mainly just a ceremonial position. Yes, if the guy is a good leader he'll be in charge, but if he isn't good at being a King or isn't interested in the job... fuck it, they've already got a functional government system that's been leading their people the whole time, why fix what isn't broken? The title of Gerudo King isn't about leadership or power. I think it's more about belonging. Because the Gerudo are a culture where every single one of them can be defined in the same way... and there is exactly one exception once a century. Men are considered to be inherently outsiders at the best of times, and more often they're enemies. A man born into this culture is a natural outsider; he is completely unique, and that means he doesn't really fit into his community. And well... when someone is fundamentally different from the rest of their community, they tend to be ostracized.
So I think that's why the position of Gerudo King exists. It isn't about them needing or even wanting a man to lead them. The title of King doesn't need to involve any leadership at all. It's about giving the man born every century a place in their society. It's a way of saying yes, you are one of us, you are a Gerudo, you belong here, you are wanted and you are loved.
The Gerudo know that every hundred years, one of their children will be fundamentally different from all of his peers. And so their society is built to ensure that a child who is completely different from them will still be loved and accepted. He will always have a place in their society. He doesn't need to earn their love, he has it just for existing. These are his people.
The title of Gerudo King isn't an inherent position of authority. It's a promise of acceptance.
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therobotmonster · 1 year
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Please don’t use midjourney it steals art from pretty much every artist out there without any compensation. I didn’t know this at first and tried it but then during the creation process i saw water marks and Getty image logos (though I’m sure they’ve hidden that now) so it’s definitely stealing.
No, it isn't. And you've taken the wrong lesson from the Getty watermark issue.
AI training on public facing, published work is fair use. Any published piece could be located, examined, and learned from by a human artist. This does not require the permission of the owner of said work. A mechanical apparatus does not change this principle.
All we, as artists, own, are specific expressions. We do not own styles, ideas, concepts, plots, or tropes. We do not even own the work we create in a proper sense. All our work flows from the commons, and all of it flows back to it. IP is a limited patent on specific expressions, and what constitutes infringement is the end result of the creative process. What goes into it is irrelevant, and upending that process to put inspiration and reference as infringement is the end of art as we know it.
The Getty watermark issue is an example of overfitting, wherein a repetitive element in the dataset over-emphasizes specific features to the point of disrupting the system's attempts at the creation of novel images.
No one denies that the SD dataset is trained on images Getty claims to own, but Getty has so polluted the image search functions of the internet with their watermarked images that the idea of a getty watermark has been picked up the same way the AI might pick up the idea of an eye or a tree branch. It is a systemic failure that Shutterstock and Getty can be so monopolistic and ubiquitous that a dateset trained on literally everything public facing on the internet would be polluted with their watermarks.
Watermarks that, by the way, they add to public domain images, and that google prioritizes over clean versions.
The lawsuits being brought against Midjourney and Stable Diffusion are copyright overreach being presented as a theft tissue. The facts of the matter are not as the litigants state. The images aren't stored, the SD weights are a 4 gig file trained on 250 terabytes, roughly 4 bytes per image. It runs local, does not reach out to image sources over IP. All you've got are mathematical patterns and ratios. I would go so far as to say that the class action suit is based on outright lies.
But for a moment, let's entertain the idea that what goes into a work, as inspiration, can be copyrighted. That styles can be stolen. That what goes in defines infringement, rather than what comes out. What happens then?
Well, the bad news is that if Stable Diffusion and Midjourney were shut down tomorrow, Stable Diffusion is in the wild. It runs local, it's user-trainable. In short, the genie isn't going back in the bottle. Plus, the way diffusion AI works, there's no way to trace a gen to its sources. The weights don't work like that. The indexing would be larger than the entire set of stored patterns.
Well good news, there's an AI for that. The current version is called CLIP Interrogator And it works on everything. Not just AI generated, but any image. It can find what style it closely matches, reverse engineer a prompt. It's crude now, but it will improve.
Now, you've already established that using the same patterns as another work is infringement. You've already established that inspiration is theft. And now there's a robot that tells lawyers who you draw like.
Sure, you can fight it in court. If it goes go to court. But who's to say they won't just staplegun that AI to a monetization re-direction bot like youtube has going with their content ID? Awesome T-shirt design you uploaded to your print-on-demand shop... too bad your art style resembles that from a cartoon from 1973 that Universal got as part of an acquisition and they've claimed all your cash. Sure you can file a DMCA counter-notice, but we all know how that goes.
And then there's this fantasy that upending the system would help artists. But who would "own" that style? Is that piece stealing the style of Stephen Silver, or Disney's Kim Possible(TM)? When you work for Disney their contracts say everything you make is theirs. Every doodle. Every drawing. If the styles are copyrightable, a company could hire an artist straight out of school, publish their work under work-for-hire, fire them, and then go after them for "stealing" the style they developed while working for said corp.
Not to mention that a handful of companies own so much media that it is going to be impossible to find an artist that hasn't been influenced by something under their control.
Oh, and that stock of source images that companies like Disney and Universal have? These kinds of lawsuits won't stop them from building AIs with that material that they "own". The power goes into corp hands, they can down staff to their heart's content and everyone else is denied the ability to compete with them. Worst of all possible worlds.
Be careful what wishes you make when holding the copyright monkey's paw.
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picturejasper20 · 6 months
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Steven Universe as a character is someone who has been mischaracterized and flanderized over the years, to the point people who aren't into the fandom or haven't watched the show believe that mischaracterization to be a fact rather that a product that comes from memes and jokes
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The truth is that Steven often fights in the series when it is needed, usually by fusing with someone else like Connie or Amethyst since he is still developing his powers in the original series. He doesn't cry when he has to fight back or defend himself, with exception if the person attacking is someone he considers a friend. Because, yes, for a 14-15 old teenager it isn't fun having to do something like that and it can be traumatic.
He also doesn't start to cry the moment someone refuses to change their mind or is being mean. He often isn't afraid to be sarcastic or call that person out. He didn't cry when Aquamarine mocked him in ¨Stuck Together¨ nor when Jasper didn't apologize for poofing Amethyst in ¨Crack the Whip¨
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However, what we see is sometimes him blaming himself for not being able to help people that, more often than not, have been hurt by Rose Quartz, his mother, in some way. After Season 3, Steven fears a lot that he is going to become like Rose and he is going to hurt people the way like she did.
In general Steven deals with an Atlas complex in the show. He feels like he has to fix his mother mistakes and deal with ¨what she left behind¨ even when Rose wanted for him to be his own person as seen in the tape she left for him as it was revealed in the episode ¨Lion 4: The Alternate Ending¨.
Steven also defines his identity a lot for being to help other people and fix their problems. He believes that he has to be ¨useful¨ for others. So when he believes that he failed to help someone, that may lead him to think that he isn't living up to his ¨purpose¨ or that he is a failure as a person.
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In reality, he isn't that much different from other hero protagonists from other animated shows. Those who are kind and emphatic and willing to listen to other people and give them a second chance if the person changes their ways. You probably like an animated show that has a protagonist like this. (Who was probably taken inspiration from Steven if the series came out after SU).
The main difference, i think, is that Steven goes a bit more than those protagonists do when it comes to listening to other people, understand their motivations and give them another chance if they regret their actions. A lot has to do with how he is aware that his enemies (usually gems) act the way the do because of the system they were born into rather ¨they are evil just because¨. He gets that their motivations come from the system that hurt them or lead them to believe that their actions are justified.
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Another common mischaracterization is that Steven becomes super buddies with every person he helps...when this isn't always the case. There are some occasions that Steven shows discomfort around people who he has given a second chance. Just because he gives them a second chance doesn't mean that he immediately considers them close friends, maybe allies at best.
A good example of this is the gif above of Steven's interactions with White Diamond in ¨Homeworld Bound¨. White Diamond touches Steven very close to where his gem is- which makes Steven distressed since in his battle again White, she ripped his gem out to prove that Pink was still ¨alive¨. In most of the episode Steven shows to be very uncomfortable around the Diamonds and Spinel, to some extent. They bring him bad memories, which is the main reason he has been doing everything to avoid going to them to ask for their help until this point in Steven Universe Future. He even almost accidentally hurts White's gem by smashing her head against a pillar when she lets him control her to talk to himself. This being result of a intrusive ¨vengeful¨ thought.
I wouldn't say that Steven hates the Diamonds,but- he doesn't want to be their friend neither and wants to avoid in general because he feels nervous and bad around them. It's something like ¨I'm glad that you are changing but i don't want to be associated with you. Please, i would appreciate if you kept your distance from me.¨ dynamic.
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On last point, Steven is someone who usually pushes his feelings down in certain situations and buries them down, which has led him to have strong emotional outbursts in bad moments. He usually prefers to ignore his own problems and take priority on others. Again, this comes a lot from his desire to be useful and be needed, making him trying to ignore how he feels about certain people and pretend that he is doing fine.
This explains why we don't see him lash out that much to others in the original series, and, why he feels so frustrated and angry in Future, since all that anger and negative feelings can't no longer be ignored as they used to and they are having a negative impact in Steven's mental health. This, of course, isn't meant to be seen is a healthy coping mechanism. It is in fact potrayed as something pretty self-destructive for Steven, as a huge flaw of his, that over time he comes to learn that it isn't the best way for him to deal with his problems.
These are some of the most common misconceptions i have seen about Steven's character online. I could go in more depth with some of them but i think the points should be clear enough. This could be considered a general analysis of how Steven is as a character and how he operates, leaving aside more specific things that can be covered in other posts.
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cerastes · 4 months
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This is absolutely the Lack Of Reading Comprehension Website, but there's another issue I've noticed that I never see brought up, and it doesn't exist completely excised from lacking reading comprehension, but it's definitely it's own topic.
Tumblr's a Bad Faith Website as well. Like the above, it's not something exclusive to Tumblr, but it definitely defines it in my opinion. A lot of people want to be Right, and disagreements are seen by a bunch of people as something to "win" rather than something to "have". You'll have randos that frame their entire argument against you based on latching onto technicalities to try to prove why you are wrong rather than actually engage with your argument to try and propose something else or turn it around. As someone who was in a debate club during university, I call it "debate-poisoned people" who see arguments and conversations as a sport more than an interaction or, well, an actual conversation to be had, or in other words, that consider every argument as a debate to be had, when a lot of the time, it's not that deep fam, and also the other person never really agreed to play under your rules, because, here's the thing, a debate is a very specific kind of interaction. In a debate, bad faith interaction and trying to erase the very floor the other party is standing on is a valid tactic, it's part of the game. In a conversation or an argument, bad faith interaction and trying to erase the floor the other party is standing on gets you rightfully called a moron who cannot use inference or extrapolation to actually engage with the topic at hand. I had one such weirdo like a week or so ago, even, who used so many words to say absolutely nothing, that I thought I accidentally performed a digital necromantic ritual and had actually found myself face to face with the spirit of Jacques Lacan.
Even in more innocuous, non-hostile scenarios, this still applies: A lot of people are so, so eager to Be Correct On The Internet, that they'll reblog something with a correction or an opinion seemingly so hastily that they did not in fact read the entire post or comprehend it. This feeds into the lack of reading comprehension, but in my opinion, it does also have to do with seeing something that they believe they can correct, and immediately chomping at the bit to correct it without stopping for a second to ask themselves, "Did I read this right? Does this need correction?", and a lot of the time, it turns out, yes, you did not in fact need to correct it, you just had to read it a bit slower without letting your quickdraw hand get the best of you, cowboy. The way I consider this to be Bad Faith, even if it's not really hostile or confrontational, is the long-held belief that The Internet Is Inhabited By People Stupid Enough To Actually Think Or Say Something This Stupid.
I'll be real with you: Yeah, you've seen wild stories on the internet, plenty of them true, about how stupid people can be. No, they do not define the majority of people that aren't you. A wild, flabbergasting story about idiocy gets traction because it's funny and wild. We don't hear stories about how User A made a compelling argument that seemed stupid at first but then turned out that their rationale was incredibly sound as much, because that's not funny and wild and doesn't make us feel good about ourselves, because we'd never make such a stupid mistake. You aren't a sage wearing the floatie of wisdom in an ocean of idiots, no matter what your echo chamber and/or carefully curated internet space makes you think. You are not exempt from having to think about things, and you are not exempt from having to acknowledge people that know things you don't, people wiser than you are out there. This isn't "you are dumb as shit, actually", because I personally believe most people are smart, this is "you are being superficial and too eager to be Correct, which only works to your detriment in the long run and makes you a rather unlikable person".
It's as simple as engaging in good faith, even when you disagree or dislike the other party. Rip apart their arguments properly, instead of trying to disqualify them with cheap gotchas from the get go just because you want to own someone. Yes, sometimes people don't make sense, period, but that's absolutely not as common as people like to claim it happens. Inevitably, you'll run into someone that will actually call out your bullshit and there goes your entire argument. And in less intense settings, really, no one likes a pedant who really wants to be Correct on fucking Tumblr of all places.
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roosterforme · 6 months
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Adult Education Part 7 | Hangman x OC
Summary: Jessica can't get enough of the comfort she feels around Jake, and he can't help but press her to define what they are doing. Everything feels heated and still sweet when they hang out for the day, and when she brings up the alumni event, he's immediately onboard.
Warnings: Fluff, angst, swearing, eventually 18+
Length: 3700 words
Pairing: Jake "Hangman" Seresin x Female OC
This story is part of the Beer Boy and Sugar universe but can be read on its own! Adult Education masterlist
Seriously, who let Jake on my masterlist!? Banner by @mak-32
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Jessica couldn't remember the last time she felt this comfortable and confident around someone else. She had grown into the understanding that her own company was the best company for her, and especially for the past year, she had kept contact with most people to a minimum. Keeping them at a professional arm's length as much as possible. But when she was with Jake, she didn't feel like she needed to be quiet and keep her head down to survive. 
"I got pretty much every kind of snack for today," he told her as they stood in his kitchen. "Just because I don't know all of your favorites yet."
Yet. That was the second time he'd made her heart flutter like this. He also told her he was getting attached to her. And now his cheeks were a little pink as she picked up some chips and salsa.
"I told you I'm not picky as long as you have Sam Adams for me."
"I'll make sure I always have it," he promised as he took two bottles out of the refrigerator and followed her to the living room. "You relax and shout to me if anyone scores, okay?"
"Where are you going?" she asked from her spot on the couch as he set the beers down and left again. She noticed the stack of journals she'd given him were sitting near the corner of the coffee table. 
"Just going to add everything to the crockpot so we can have dinner later."
Jessica settled back into the cushions and watched him walk away, his shirt hugging his broad shoulders. He was perhaps even more handsome than Brian Conley, which was something she would have never thought possible. When she and Brian were sleeping together, she thought he was the most attractive man she'd ever seen. Ten years older. Gray hair mixed in with chestnut brown. Icy blue eyes. But now she was coming around to the idea of someone her own age, with lighter hair and pretty green eyes. 
When Jake returned a minute later and settled down right next to her, even though there was plenty of room, she asked, "How old are you?"
He took the jar of salsa from her hand and opened it as he said, "Thirty. I'd ask you how old you are, but my mom would be really disappointed if she ever learned that I did. So if you'd like to tell me, that's fine, but I'm not asking."
Jessica laughed as she opened the bag of chips and curled her legs up onto the couch so her thigh was resting on his. "How would your mom ever find out anyway?"
Jake scoffed as he scooped salsa onto a chip. "You don't think she's going to want to meet my girlfriend?" He shoved the whole thing into his mouth before grabbing more. "She'd get the information out of you somehow, I'm sure."
She sat there quietly and broke a chip in half before nibbling on it as she tried not to smile. She hadn't been in a relationship since right after grad school. Most guys didn't seem inclined to want to do more than sleep with her. Her brand of nerdy was a hard sell. She was smarter than almost everyone else, she was introverted, and she preferred playing Dungeons & Dragons or reading a book to going out. Well, excluding an evening at Chippy's. 
"I'm thirty one," she said softly with a grin. 
"Perfect," he replied, casually scooping more salsa onto a chip. "I also wouldn't be upset if you told me if you bought that green underwear you were looking at on your phone."
She started nibbling on the other half of the chip as Jake's arm rubbed hers. "Maybe." He was looking at her out of the corner of his eye before turning away from the football game completely to face her. "Okay... yes, I bought the set," she said, biting her lip. "You're missing the game."
"I don't really care about the game all that much. Like I said before, I think I've gotta be the world's worst Longhorns fan."
"You're terrible," she confirmed as he held out the jar of salsa for her. 
His gaze dipped down to her lips. "Why are you so far away?" he asked softly. 
She wanted to laugh, because she was practically sitting on his lap. Instead she leaned in and kissed his cheek as she said, "What was I thinking?" Jake's body was big and warm and cozy as he draped his arm around her shoulders. She snuggled in close to him with her cheek resting on his chest. She dipped a chip into the jar he was holding and teased him with it before she shoved it into his mouth. 
"Thanks, Baby," he murmured as he chewed it up. Then she took the jar and the chips and set them on the table and grabbed the beers instead. They sat cuddled up, sipping the drinks, and Jake was actually less annoying when the Longhorns scored than she had anticipated. She just relaxed into him as the condensation from her bottle dripped occasionally onto his jeans, but he didn't complain, so she didn't move. 
"You want another one now?" he asked, taking her empty bottle in the same hand as his and kissing her hair. 
"No," she whispered. "And don't get up. I'm comfortable."
"Okay," he replied softly, leaning forward just enough to let the bottles drop with a thud onto the area rug. 
Jessica pushed him back with her palm on his abs, and she bit her lip as she felt his muscles. "I said don't move."
"You're in charge, Reedy."
--------------------------
This was all wildly thrilling for Jake. He was with a beautiful woman who wanted to chill on his couch and run her hand back and forth across his abs while they watched football together. He never did this kind of thing. Ever. This was indulgent in a way he didn't usually operate. 
When Jessica looked up at him through her eyelashes, he reached over and adjusted her glasses. Then he felt her hand dip inside his shirt and come to rest just above his jeans, fingers stroking almost to the point of tickling. And he wasn't even watching the game. Maybe it was halftime. He wasn't sure. It didn't matter. 
Why did he suddenly want a girlfriend so badly that he kept thinking about it? He was thinking about how this could be a normal weekend for him. And how he could have Jessica curled up with him like this in bed. 
He was staring. He knew he was. But so was she. And her small hand was moving across his skin in the most addicting way. "Reedy," he whispered, and that was all it took. She planted her hand with her fingertips inside his jeans, and Jake groaned as she kissed him. When her hand slid up his abs to his chest and pulled his shirt up with it, he wrapped his arm around her waist and pulled her until she was in his lap. 
In the deepest recesses of his brain, Jake knew he couldn't let anything too wild happen today. Just kissing. Just like this. But when he let his hand trail down to Jessica's round ass, he realized the fabric of her leggings was thin and that he could feel her thong through it. It felt lacy. He wanted to know what it looked like. 
He palmed her a little rougher, until she broke the kiss and rubbed herself against him. "Oh, Jessica," he groaned, taking in the sight of her wide eyes and crooked glasses. She was raking her fingers slowly through his chest hair while Jake squeezed her butt. He couldn't think straight as her lips met his again, and then his hand was up the back of her shirt.
Her skin was so damn soft, and Jake was not going to be able to conceal the fact that he was getting hard for her when her knee kept nudging him through his jeans. Her feather soft kisses were becoming more demanding as she brought her other hand up to ruin his tidy hair. And fuck if he could control himself. 
In an instant, she was on her back along the couch with Jake on top of her. She let out a surprised giggle as her head came to rest on the cushion. "This okay?" he asked, kissing along her jaw. 
Jessica responded by spreading her thighs so he could settle against her, and Jake had to keep reminding himself that this was a marathon, not a sprint. But her body was warm and inviting, and she was so responsive to his touch. Every gasp from her lips had him pushing his hands a little further up her sides and sucking a little harder on her neck. 
"Jake," she moaned, rolling her hips up against him. 
"Fuck," he gasped, one hand sliding between her back and the couch as he pushed himself against her this time. Her lips were parted, and she was digging her fingers into his shoulders. Jake moaned when she wrapped one leg around his hip. Her shirt was pushed up almost to her tits, and he wanted to taste all of her skin. But she pulled him close for another kiss, and Jake knew he had to pump the brakes. 
He slowed it all down, easing his hand up to her back instead of her perfect ass. He let each kiss taper off until his lips were barely brushing hers. And then he felt her leg slide down from his hip as she took his hand and guided it further up her shirt until he was touching her bra. She chased his lips as he pulled away from her, and now she looked embarrassed.
"Jessica. Not a horny quickie on the couch. Not for our first time together."
"Okay. Right," she whispered, her fingers tracing along his neck. "Do you want to go to your bedroom?"
He kissed her cheek and said, "I think we should save it for another day."
As he slowly let his hand trail down her tummy, she turned her face toward the TV and laughed a little awkwardly. "Is it that obvious that it's been a long time for me? I'm sure that's not the case for you."
He didn't quite know what to say. "No, it's not obvious. And no, you're not wrong," he murmured, his brow creasing as he leaned closer for a soft kiss. Had it really just been two weeks ago that he brought someone home from the bar? "But it has actually been a very long time since someone mattered like you do. So the pacing is kind of important to me."
"You're sweet." A pretty smile touched her lips, and then he let himself kiss her belly before pulling her up so she was sitting and looking at him. Her hair was a little messy, and her glasses were crooked again, and Jake was suddenly afraid he was going to fuck this all up. She adjusted her glasses with the backs of her fingers and leaned in to kiss him one time. 
It really was halftime now, and Jake watched her stand and look through the stack of journals on the table. Her voice was still soft and breathless as she glanced at him and asked, "Where's the one with my phone number? I wanted to show you something in the article I wrote."
Jake wanted to laugh or maybe cry. This woman thought he was smart. Well, he knew he was smart, but nobody else ever seemed to care if he was. "It's in my bedroom."
"It's in your bedroom?"
"Yeah," he replied easily. "I'm keeping that one for sure. You can have the rest of the journals back, but not that one. I worked hard for that phone number."
She giggled. "You really did. And you did great. Can I get it out of your room?"
He thought he was going to respond by telling her yes, but instead he suddenly asked, "Are you seeing anyone else?"
Now her expression was surprised as she came to stand between his spread legs, and he looked up at her. "Are you asking me if I'm meeting other men at Chippy's and during my office hours?"
Jake nodded and swallowed hard as she bent at the waist and let her hands rest on his knees. "Yeah. I'm sure Chippy would be delighted to see you with someone else."
"No," she laughed. "I'm not seeing anyone else. Are you?"
"Absolutely not."
"Good." Her hands slid up to his thighs as she kissed him, which was doing nothing to help him get rid of the awkward half erection he was sporting. "Is it cool if I grab the journal from your room?"
"Yeah," he grunted. "You'll see it in there."
When he watched her walk away, he groaned and sprawled out on the couch. He needed to pull himself together, or she would definitely be taking someone else to Chippy's soon.
-----------------------------
To Jessica's immediate delight, she found the journal on Jake's nightstand. It was even folded open to the page with her article and phone number. She picked it up and headed back to the couch where he was sprawled out now with his head propped up on the pillow. Hot, needy sex had sounded delicious twenty minutes ago when he was grinding against her, but when she looked at him right now, she knew that's not what she needed. She'd had plenty of that in Brian's office and the backseat of his SUV. 
She didn't want to think about him. Not when Jake was reaching for her hand and pulling her down on top of him like she weighed nothing. He didn't even grunt or groan as she settled chest to chest with him. Her legs were tangled with his as he wrapped his arms around her, and she tried to keep the journal from getting smashed. 
"What do you want to talk about? I think I have the whole thing memorized," he said softly, keeping his attention on her even though the second half of the game was on. 
"I wanted to show you how I wrote about your Super Hornets," she said, unable to stop smiling now. 
"Yeah, I saw that. You know more about the damn things than I do, Dr. Reed."
She laughed. "I'm Dr. Reed again?"
"Jessica," he whispered in that drawl that made her heart clench as he rubbed her back. "You ever been up in one before? You wanna fly with me one day?"
She let the journal slide to the floor as she gaped at him. "Would I be allowed? I've always wanted to!"
He shrugged. "I can investigate it. Or I could always sneak you out onto the tarmac after dark so you can sit in the cockpit."
"That sounds scandalous."
"It would be," he confirmed with a smirk. "You could sit on my lap. I could show my throttle. Teach you how to use it."
Jessica felt warm as she kissed him, his hands heavy on her lower back. But it was sweet and intentional instead of rushed even though she was straddling his abs. She was always at least slightly turned on when she was around Jake, and she was starting to suspect he felt the same way. But his restraint was sexy. 
"I like this," she whispered between soft kisses as she ran the tip of her nose up along his. 
"Me too, Baby," he replied, and when she bit her lip and pulled away a few inches to smile, he looked like he was in awe. 
"What?" she asked. 
He shook his head. "I just can't believe you're into me."
She rolled her eyes. "You're handsome. Everyone is into you."
"That's not what I meant," he said with a laugh. "And you're obviously better than everyone else."
Jessica had to reel in her ridiculous grin as she threaded her fingers through his soft hair. "Hey, can I ask you something? And feel free to say no, because it's probably going to be really, very dumb, and I won't be upset if you don't want to go-"
"Yes."
She stared at him for a beat. "I didn't even ask it yet."
"I know. Whatever it is, I'm in."
Once again, he was making her feel warm inside. And he still hadn't looked at the game. "So you'll be my date for a posh fraternity fundraiser for alumni weekend?"
He pushed her hair back behind her ear and said, "I don't think posh and fraternity belong in the same sentence together, but yes. I'd love to be your date. Since we're exclusive now."
"Oh, that was smoothe Lieutenant." She found herself tracing the lettering on his shirt as her cheek came to rest on his shoulder.
"I thought so, too," he whispered. Then she dozed off on him. 
-------------------------
Jake held Jessica while she slept, her breaths soft on his neck while he watched the end of the game. He should really get up and stir the chili, but he didn't want to disturb her. If dinner wasn't edible, he would just order a pizza instead. No big deal. 
She finally seemed fully comfortable with him. She was letting him hold her while she napped, and she wasn't shying away from the idea of them dating. He knew there was more to the picture with the way she made him work for it and the rumors Bradshaw's wife told him about. But she was so fucking sweet, Jake didn't care about what anyone else said. And it honestly turned him on when she made him earn his privileges with her. 
She moaned softly in her sleep and wrapped her arm around him. He was going to have to ask Bradshaw or his wife what to wear to a frat party. That's somewhere he never thought he'd be caught dead, but he found himself wanting to make Jessica happy. So exceptions could be made. 
Suddenly she popped up with both palms planted on his chest. "I can't believe I fell asleep," she mumbled, and Jake smiled at the mark on her face from where her glasses had been pressing. 
"You want dinner?" he asked as she sat up straddling his hips. Her shirt had slipped a bit, and he could see the strap of her bra. And honestly, this position was enough to get him going, the way her breasts were clearly pressed together inside her A&M tee. When she nodded, he scooped her up as he sat and then stood. 
She slid down his body with a little giggle, and soon they were both sitting on the stools at his kitchen island. He watched her dip a tortilla chip into her bowl of chili and take a bite. "This is so good," she gushed. "I don't know how to cook anything. You just put stuff in a crock pot? And it just cooks it into a meal?"
"Yep," he replied, trying not to laugh at the look on her face. Now he was thinking about buying her a crock pot. What the fuck was wrong with him? She took another bite and closed her eyes like it was the most pleasurable thing she'd ever tasted. "Baby, has nobody ever cooked for you before?"
"No," she moaned. "Unless you include my mom, and I only get to eat that for holidays. If I can manage to get back to Massachusetts."
He stroked her cheek with his fingers and said, "You want me to bring you dinner again this week? When you have office hours?"
She moaned again and climbed onto his lap to finish eating. Which turned into her straddling him again while he ran his hands all over her perfect ass again. And once again he could hardly believe he pumped the brakes so hard earlier, because eventually her lips were on his neck and her glasses were pressing into his jaw. 
"If you come by on Tuesday, I'll wear something cute to work," she informed him, and his head tipped back. 
"You always look cute."
"Then I'll wear something sexy."
Jake grunted. "Baby, you always look sexy." A few more brushes of her lips, and he found himself asking, "Do you want to spend the night?"
"Oh," she gasped, but she kissed his Adam's apple before pulling her lips away from him.
"We could cuddle. Make out," he clarified, meeting her eyes as she adjusted her glasses. "I could make you breakfast."
She bit her lip and then said, "See, this isn't fair. Now you know that the secret way to get me to do anything is with food. And I don't know what your secret is yet."
"Apparently it's girls with glasses."
Now she was laughing as she planted her hands on his shoulders. "I have a lot of work to do tomorrow at home. I need to start making up midterm exam questions."
"I could help you," he murmured, only half joking. "I solved your problem correctly the day we met, remember?"
"Jake, I will remember for the rest of my life how earnest you were the day we met."
He smiled, and he found his heart swelling with pride. "So you'll stay?"
"Next time," she whispered. "Next time I'll stay. And we can do more than cuddle and make out."
Jake pulled her a little closer with his hands still on her butt. "Yeah. Let's do that."
Eventually he packed up a container with the extra chili and linked his fingers with hers. He walked her to her car and kissed her until they were out of breath, and then he let her leave. But he missed her warmth and her hands on him. He ended up rereading her journal articles and looking up a recipe to make for Tuesday while he imagined just how sexy her outfit might be.
-------------------------
They are exclusive. She ordered the green set. She's dressing sexy on Tuesday. I'm ready. Thanks @mak-32 and @beyondthesefourwalls
PART 8
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sexyandhedonistic · 1 year
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How to Become the Most Iconic It Girl in Your Reality
A Guide to Bring Your Dream Self to Life
“You are already that which you want to be, and your refusal to believe this is the only reason you do not see it.” Feeling is the Secret Ch. 1
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I. Introduction ✧
Hello, my loves! This guide will help YOU become the person you have always dreamt of being as the starring role of your reality. We’re going to cover so much so I hope you’re ready to bid farewell to the person you used to be and get ready to transform into the most desirable version of yourself yet. Whether you aspire to be an it girl, it boy, it person or it god, whatever your preferred title is, if you desire to be other than what you currently are, this guide is for you.
Note: this was written through a law of assumption lens so if you’re looking for a glow up post that tells you to eat fruit and cut off toxic people this is not the one. If you haven’t read my guide about the law of assumption or are new to it I strongly recommend you read that one first before reading further, as everything written later on will make much more sense that way.
A. What’s to come.
The comprehensive purpose of this guide is to help you become the person you have always dreamt of being and to remind you that you no longer need to be unhappy with who you are because you get to create your own reality, meaning that you get to define yourself. Not your environment, not your peers, you. Your upbringing may have persuaded you of the fact that you are undeserving of anything you could ever desire, but you don’t need to go another day feeling insecure, unloved and miserable. Life is your creation. The days of you being confined to the image others have imposed unto you are a thing of the past now.  I don’t know who you were before you opened this guide but that person isn’t you anymore. From this point on, you have been an icon from BIRTH.
B. Breaking down the terms “iconic” and “it”.
Before we start, let’s define what an iconic it girl is first.
To be iconic means to be impactful. What makes an icon an icon is the fact that they don’t live up to standards or expectations because they live by their own rules and are not afraid to deviate from the conventional. The difference between an icon and a non-icon is that icons aren’t all talk, they ARE about it. 
“It” refers to a prominent and commendable quality in an individual that evokes intrigue and admiration, especially one that makes said individual spectacular or exceptional. The it factor is subjective because different qualities instigate intrigue across different people. In the case of this guide, the IT factor will ultimately be up to you to define.
If we fuse both terms together with the law of assumption in mind, an iconic it girl is one who’s in total control of her reality. She’s a sovereign, she’s above everything and everyone and nothing can cause her to waver in her conviction. She’s the center of the universe and nothing can ever challenge that thought in her head. She calls the shots and she does what she wants. An iconic it girl is a trend setter. She doesn’t follow trends nor standards, she creates them. Nobody tells her what she can or can’t do and nobody tells her who she is because she has an established conception of herself.
C. Why be an it girl?
It girls tend to be the girls you either want to be or be with because they seem to have it all: wealth, beauty, sex appeal, allure, social circle, relationship, achievements and/or an interesting lifestyle. You see these girls on social media and you covet the lives they lead but you feel suppressed by your current circumstances because reality conditions your desires. If you want to change your appearance, you must be rich and if you want to be rich, you must work hard. If you want to be extroverted, you must change your personality and if you want to change your personality, you must step out of your comfort zone. That’s the reality of life because life operates by logic. But, guess what? You are not limited to what we once accepted to be the “reality of life”. We are infinite beings capable of everything we could ever desire in this world. Anything someone else is or has can also be you/rs and in this guide I’ll explain how you can.
Now that we have established what an iconic it girl is and why we can aspire to be one, we will now proceed with HOW to do it and more importantly, where it all starts.
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II. Conception ✧ of self.
“It is our conception of ourselves which frees or constrains us.” - No One To Change But Self
Self concept is how you see yourself in relation to the world and how you see the world in relation to you. All the assumptions you carry about the two comprise your conception of self, which as a result fashions the experiences you have in your world. From the way people treat you to the way you treat yourself, all of it has originated from your assumptions which harvested your state which has become part of your consciousness (what you know to be a fact at this very moment). Whether your goal is to manifest being an it girl or anything else, it always goes back to changing your self concept first, which is nothing more than a state.
A state is an attitude of mind comprised of beliefs (assumptions) and when we desire to change our self concept, we adjust our state of consciousness. You may not feel exceptional nor as if you have the it factor as of right now and that is credited to the contents of your state of consciousness. If you want to become an iconic it girl, you must first change your state into one of an it girl. How do you change states? Through feeling, by I AM.
A. I AM.
“I AM wealthy, poor, healthy, sick, free, confined were first of all impressions or conditions felt before they became visible expressions. Your world is your consciousness objectified. Waste no time trying to change the outside; change the within or the impression; and the without or expression will take care of itself. When the truth of this statement dawns upon you, you will know that you have found the lost word or the key to every door. I AM (your consciousness) is the magical lost word which was made flesh in the likeness of that which you are conscious of being.”- Your Faith Is Your Fortune Ch. 6
I AM is a declaration of self through what you are aware of being. You are incapable of speaking about yourself unless your statement begins with I AM. Manifesting becoming an it girl is not about acquiring something, it is about being the person who has that something through whatever comes after I AM:
I have money -> I AM [in the state of being] wealthy
I have perfect grades -> I AM [conscious of being] a stellar student
I have a partner -> I AM in a relationship
“Become identified with that character and feeling and you will be amazed how quickly you will realize your dream. The only sacrifice you are called upon to make, is to give up your present concept of self and appropriate the desire you want to express.”
B. EIYPO.
"Blind man sees the world objective to himself, something detached from himself. When man begins to awake he sees everything subjectively related; everything he meets is part of himself, and what he does not now understand, still he knows that it is related by affinity to some as yet unrealized force in his own being." - The Pruning Shears of Revision
Everyone is you pushed out accounts for the notion that whatever we think or assume of ourselves is pushed out into the world and reflected back to us. This means that the people around you will see you the way you see yourself and treat you accordingly. We manifest 24/7 through our established assumptions, so whether you have accepted as a fact that you are loved by everyone you meet or you aren’t very likable, your circumstances will evince that. However, that is not to say you are not entitled to feel upset when someone disrespects you. Although this may be a difficult truth to accept, the purpose of acceptance of it is to feel and realize that we are above what people say or how they treat us rather than to feel inferior because of it. So, how do we take this concept into consideration when we aim to become an it girl? We simply accept it as yet another facet of our realities that we are in control of. How do you get people to stop seeing you as the person you no longer want to be anymore? By changing self first. When you begin to see yourself as an it girl, the world will see you as one as well.
"There is no one to change but self. All you need to do to make men and women holy in this world is to make yourself holy. You are incapable of seeing anything that is unlovely when you establish within your own mind's eye the fact that you are lovely."- No One To Change But Self
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III. Imagination ✧ Optimize your creative power.
“Everything in your world that you behold, though it appears without, it is within, in your imagination. And this wonderful imagination of yours is Christ Jesus. Imagination is the actual habitation of every created thing. No matter what you see in the world, it springs from your imagination. So that's where you go, that's the workshop, the garden of God.” - The Pruning Shears of Revision
A wonderfully comforting aspect of the law of assumption is that we all possess the inalienable gift that is to be able to grant upon ourselves whatever it is we desire to have, do or be. No matter what it is that you want, be it factual or fictional, existent or nonexistent, you can have anything. It is possible to become the person you have always wanted to be due to the lack of limitations in imagination. If you can think it, you can become it. Whether you desire to look like someone, have a relationship that mirrors the one in your favorite k-drama with your celebrity crush or be exactly like your comfort character, I could go on and on with examples of whatever it is you can have, do or be because when I tell you that you are a limitless being, I mean it wholeheartedly.
I must emphasize and drive this point home. All is possible in the world. Every possible desired life aspect you could ever fantasize about in your imagination exists because creation is finished. Whether it’s your dream home, career, income, accomplishments, possessions, relationship, friend group, physique, personality, lifestyle whatever it is you dream of having is possible to be conscious of because there are a myriad of states for us to choose from. That state already exists like a suit that is waiting for you to wear it until it becomes a natural part of your consciousness.
Because of this, it naturally makes sense to acknowledge that we no longer need to be neither humble nor jealous of another. If we know we can have absolutely anything in the world, even something already in the possession of another, why would we?
With our wonderful human imagination on our side, we can transcend the limitations that surround us. Whether you desire to get accepted into an ivy league university two years early with a 2.1 GPA or eat endlessly without gaining a single pound and jeopardizing your health, your limitless self is capable of becoming conscious of it and more, so let your imagination run free devoid of any restrictions when you define your it girl. The presentation of any circumstances do not and will never matter. To be is as simple as asking yourself whether or not you want to be it.
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IV. Inspiration ✧ Defining your it girl.
Now we’re getting to the fun part of this post because you get to use your creative power: imagination. Remember a few sections ago when we discussed what the IT factor is? This is where you get to determine what IT is. Let me remind you again, your idea of what an it girl is is subjective, so it won’t be exactly like someone else’s definition. It girl is not a mold in which you are expected to fit into. Whether you want an active socialite nepo baby city life or a secluded pastry-making book-reading cottagecore life, doesn’t matter. This is all about who you desire to be. With that, let’s get down on how to determine what your it girl self looks like.
A. Who do you want to be like?
What qualities in a person would make you perceive someone as admirable or inspiring? Hard work? Being multifaceted? Do they have a personality you wish you had?
Think of people you deem iconic or who you look up to and why you perceive them as such. Are they someone who’s successfully pursued a personal goal of yours? Is their career full of achievements?
Don't condense your inspirations to people, you can also take fictional characters into consideration. Whether it’s Maddy from Euphoria, Blair from Gossip Girl or Pooja from Kabhi Khushi Kabhie Gham, think of the characters from your favorite films and tv shows for more ideas.
You can also consider some of the most popular archetypes across social/media such as the femme fatale, the socialite, the siren, the beauty and brains, any archetype that possesses a lifestyle or aura that you would like for yourself can also be taken into consideration.
B. Which trains would you like to possess?
Beautiful, magnetic, mysterious, seductive, desirable, alluring
Extroverted, fun, trend setter, admired, confident, charismatic
Intimidating, unapologetic, bold, unique, center of attention, 
Kind, soft spoken, empathetic, nurturing, humanitarian
Intelligent, articulate, ambitious, hedonistic, successful, perfectionist 
C. What are some interesting qualities/assumptions about you?
Always the life of the party
Speaks multiple languages
Excels at everything on the first try
Has a commanding presence
Loved by everyone and full of admirers
Everyone you develop an interest in always pursues you
People find you alluring and inspiring
Bearer of the Halo effect - receives advantages and special treatment just for being gorgeous 
Mastered or proficient in a specific subject/sport/language/instrument
Art connoisseur / literature, films, fashion, music, photography
Knowledgeable across different subjects / history, science, interior design, fragrances, wine, etc.
Knowledgeable in sophisticated fields / law, politics, economics, finance
Expert at a specific hobby or activity / chess, bridge, painting, sculpting, skating, singing, dancing
Skilled at / sewing, cooking, baking, knitting, makeup, styling, coding
D. Combine it.
Once I had an idea of what I wanted my new self to be like , I would refer to scenes in tv shows when a character is being introduced in third person as if they’re reading a profile about them. They don’t just name the character, they’ll list their background, their personality, what they do, what their interests are, etc. and then twist this for myself and imagine how I would like another person to describe me. I’ll list an example of what that would look like below:
[Note: to stay on theme I will be providing an it girl example, make this your own!]
One word to describe her? Extraordinary, but she’s too much to even conceptualize in a single word that it almost feels disrespectful to her. She either inspires you to be at her level or mortifies you for not being at her level. She's influential and enticing, opulent and godly. She has sky-high standards and smells like Tobacco Vanille. She always gets what she wants and doesn’t take no for an answer.  She studies hard in the daytime and attends prestigious social gatherings in the nighttime. She’s a polymath with an IQ of 168 who knows a little about every subject. Whether it’s foreign languages, interior design, pastry making or art, she’s full of knowledge and constantly teaches you something new. She’s innovative and always formulating progressive ideas which also makes her a trendsetter.  Whatever she does whether it’s a hobby or putting an outfit together she always owns it in her own unique manner. Because of that, her presence captures the attention of everyone in the room without her even saying a word. Her magnetic aura and sultry gaze make her irresistible to anyone who locks eyes with her. Men go crazy over her even though they know she’d never look twice at them. She’s witty and fun to be around.  She’s unlike anyone you’ve ever met before. In fact, you could copy her personality and style down to a T and you still would not be able to capture her essence. You can’t get her out of your head because her beauty, passion and determination make her unforgettable. 
Now that you have an idea of who your new self is, let’s talk about how to dump the old self.
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V. Immolation ✧ Say goodbye to the old story forever.
“Man is not willing to outgrow, [and] yet he wants other things than those he has. But if you remain in one state, you will forever have to suffer the consequences of not being in another state. (From the “Hermetica”). If I remain in the state of poverty, I must suffer the consequences of not being in the state of wealth.” - The Art of Dying
A. No one to change but self (concept).
“Heretofore I thought I could change others through effort. Now I know I cannot change another unless I first change myself. To change another within my world I must first change my concept of that other; and to do it best I change my concept of self. For it was the concept I held of self that made me see others as I did.” - No One To Change But Self
I started this guide with self concept for a reason. If you want to create a change in your life you must first begin with self . As within, so without. An inner change must precede an outer change because we do not experience what we want, we experience what we are. Any attempt to change our worlds without changing ourselves is a mere delusion because the world will forever reflect back to us that which we are conscious of being. You want the world to know that you’re an it girl? Feel yourself to be an it girl first.
B. Forgiveness.
“You must learn to distinguish between the eternal human who occupies a state, and the state itself. This is the only means to forgiveness.”  - True Forgiveness
Forgiving is forgetting and forgetting is letting go. When you are able to feel yourself to be who you want to be, you let go of who you used to be. You no longer have to be somebody you don’t want to be because a change of state is always instant. Every day is a new day and every moment is a new moment. If you are currently a miserable person and then you decide you are not then you are no longer a miserable person because you chose to not identify with it. You are not your state and you cannot be affixed to any state you don’t want to occupy. You will always have the option to embody any state you would like to occupy. You can shift that immediately through forgiveness and intention. Through forgiveness, you create the severance between the state you were formerly in and the state of an it girl. 
C. Regret no more. 
“Do not waste one moment in regret, for to think feelingly of the mistakes of the past is to re-infect yourself.” –  Feeling is the Secret
I’d like to take this moment to tell you that regret doesn’t need to be a thing anymore because you can revise the past. That hobby you wanted to pursue but gave up on? Your GPA that you can’t go back and fix? The best friend you miss? Do you remember when you wanted to start drawing but then you stopped? Or when you did ballet when you were younger and never continued? Remember when you started learning Spanish and then gave up? You don’t need to feel regretful anymore because you can revise all and reshape the past to be in harmony with the it girl that you are. Whether you wish you had grown up wealthy or with a specific skill which would later become your passion, absolutely every aspect of your life can be adjusted. There’s no need to resent the past because it is not set in stone.
D. Let go of the external.
I urge you to not let anything outside of you define you or your life. Whether it’s the tarot deck, the tea leaves or a birth chart, none of those sources have a say in what your life looks or will look like. There’s no such thing as a predetermined fate for you. Every single aspect of your world is malleable at your command, so give up the idea that there’s any other force in the world capable of interfering with your desires.
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VI. Reincarnation ✧ The birth of a new you.
“You must this night – not tomorrow – learn the technique of writing your own obituary and so completely die to what you are that no man in this world can tell you where you buried the old man.” - Consciousness is the Only Reality
A. A newly acquired mentality.
It’s time to step into your power and see yourself as the GOD that you are. You no longer need to live by the limitations the world has convinced you exist. You don’t need to do or be anything/one you don’t want to do/be and more importantly you do not need to settle for anything that doesn’t live up to your expectations. If you don’t like something, it doesn’t need to be a thing. Think about it being as simple as blocking someone, you are not gonna annoy me in MY reality.  Starting today, you get to decide who you want to be and who or what gets to be a part of your life. Again, this is YOUR world, YOUR reality and everyone else is simply living in it. Why should you ever worry your gorgeous self about anything not going your way if this is your world? You’re the one on the pedestal and whatever you say must go. 
Imagine telling a person exactly that, This is your world and everyone else is simply living in it. We are at such a huge advantage with the law of assumption because you don’t even need to be concerned with the course of action, you just need to focus on being (I AM). When you talk to people through the confidence of knowing that every single one of your goals is absolutely achievable, because through the law of assumption they always are and always will be, it is very easy to appear as confident to the average doubtful person. Everyone around you carries the idea with them that failure and rejection are always possibilities. You’re not like them, though. You’re completely limitless. You can excel at whatever career you want to pursue, you can date anyone you point your finger at, you can possess all of the riches the world has to offer and there’s no need to be humble about it. You are THE it girl, after all, are you not? All we’re stating is facts.
B. You cannot serve two masters.
“If you are dissatisfied with your present expression in life the only way to change it, is to take your attention away form that which seems so real to you and rise in consciousness to that which you desire to be. You cannot serve two masters, therefore to take your attention from one state of consciousness and place it upon another is to die to one and live to the other.” - At Your Command Ch. 2
In other words, you cannot sustain two polarizing states at once and you cannot take any part of the old state into the new state. If you want change, you must be loyal to it. You must be so committed to it that you have no space to even consider the old story because it doesn’t matter in the slightest anymore. Fall in love with your new state of consciousness that you are willing to be devoted to it no matter what. Leave the old in the past so the new can take its place.
C. Feeling the wish fulfilled.
“You must assume that you are what you want to be and continue therein, for the reality of your assumption has its being in complete independence of objective fact and will clothe itself in flesh if you persist in the feeling of the wish fulfilled” - The Power of Awareness Ch. 21
Capturing the feeling of the wish fulfilled is utterly essential, no matter what it is that you desire to manifest because the process will always be the same. First we must assume ourselves to be that which we desire to be through I AM and we persist in it independent of the objectiveness of our world until we are one with our new state.
The moment you successfully attain that feeling and continue to live by it, the direction of your attention will continue to focus on the implications of its fulfillment. That is, when you start to accept yourself as an it girl, the scenes that would suggest its consummation will make their way into your imagination, and if you persist in them they will inevitably become part of your state of consciousness.
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VII. Invocation ✧ How to become it.
“When you pray, do not get down on your knees and pray to any unknown God. Instead, go to bed and dare to assume you are now who you want to be. Fall asleep assuming it is true and you will be on the road to success, for this is how things are brought into being.” - Brazen Impudence
A. SATS + lullaby.
I have an extensive post about the state akin to sleep which I highly suggest you read for further clarification as well as how I like to use the SATS. I’ll leave the instructions below:
The first step is to define your objective. Have a clear idea of what it is you would like to be (or be in possession of).
Next, ask yourself, “what does the end of that goal look like?” For example, if you would like to manifest a prestigious job opportunity, you’d be congratulated on it. If you’d like to manifest a change in appearance, you would receive compliments (It doesn’t need to include another person, but you may find it more helpful in order to feel it more real). Whatever the end looks like, it must always be an event that implies its fulfillment, that it is done. This is the wish fulfilled.
Get into a comfortable position. You can lay down or sit upright, it doesn’t matter, do whatever feels most comfortable.
Relax. You can do some breathing exercises, listen to music, have a warm drink, whatever it is that makes you relax. 
Induce a moderate degree of drowsiness where you can still concentrate on the wish fulfilled, but be sure to not feel too drowsy where you find it difficult to focus. When you feel like you could move but you don’t want to (because you’re too comfortable), that’s when you’ll know you’re in the state akin to sleep.
Construct a scene that implies the fulfillment of your desire by making elsewhere here and then now, then feel it real by incorporating your senses into it and imagine yourself being present within your imaginal scene from your perspective. Confine your scene to a single action. If your scene implies that you have received wonderful news, do not wander off in your visualization by doing a thousand irrelevant things afterwards, simply stick to the congratulations and mentally feel yourself being present in your scene. Repeat the scene until it takes on the tones of reality. [A tip from Edward Art: Focus on feeling it real (feeling the wish fulfilled) first and then the sensory aspects of your scene will follow]
If you find it difficult to focus on a scene and feel it real or if you simply cannot conceptualiza what the end would even look like, follow steps 1 through 4 and do the following: condense the fulfillment to three words or less and repeat them over and over again until your mind is dominated by the single sensation of thankfulness. Meditate on this phrase until you accept it as a fact.
¹ Visualization ideas.
Your scenes will vary depending on what life you want to live. You can change your scenes every time you visualize during the SATS so long as they all imply the same end. What would imply that you are an it girl? Being interviewed? Walking down a red carpet? Men dropping their jaws when you pass by? For ideas, consider what activities would comprise a day in your it girl life.
² The lullaby method.
"Remain there until you feel its certainty, until you reach the point of satisfaction, until you are convinced of its truth; and although the world may collapse around you, you will become that which you have assumed you are." - An Inner Conviction
If you would like to try out the lullaby method, some three word phrases you could use are: I’m that girl/person, I have everything, It is done, I’m so happy, I AM (__), etc.
B. Mental diets.
“Feast on the idea, become identified with the idea as though you were already that embodied state. Walk in the assumption that you are what you want to be. If you feast on that and remain faithful to that mental diet, you will crystallize it. You will become it in this world.” - Thinking Fourth Dimensionally
Mental diets aren’t particularly necessary since they can imply that you need to be monitoring your thoughts constantly. However, objectively being conscious of them can help you determine what state you are currently occupying. If you would like to indulge in a mental diet you can do so by asking yourself the following questions:
Is this what I would want someone else to say or think about me?
Would my it girl think this thought?
I would also like to briefly recall that thoughts alone don’t hold power unless you accept them as facts. You can have intrusive thoughts and joke all you want about how you’re ugly but unless you persist in that and feel them to be true it will not manifest.
C. Inner conversations.
"What are you saying at every moment of time? Watch it; be careful what you are saying, because your whole vast world is this inner conversation pushed out." - Control Your Inner Conversations
I urge you to stop internally berating yourself or imagining someone speaking negatively about you. Pay attention to the perpetual inner conversation you hold with yourself: “I’m not good at math”, “my friends always make plans without me”, “I’m so awkward”, because what you say and believe about yourself is what you will continue to face in the third dimension. Instead, think about the lovely remarks you’d like others to say about you and mentally hear them say them. You can also try vaunting which is the practice of constructing a conversation in which you brag from the wish fulfilled. You can turn to the example I used of being described in third person by someone else and speak from first person instead (I AM).
D. Revision.
"At the end of my day, I review the day; I don't judge it, I simply review it. I look over the entire day, all the episodes, all the events, all the conversations, all the meetings, and then as I see it clearly in my mind's eye, I rewrite it. I rewrite it and make it conform to the ideal day I wish I had experienced. I take scene after scene and rewrite it, revise it, and having revised my day, then in my imagination I relive that day, the revised day, and I do it over and over in my imagination until this seeming imagined state begins to take on to me the tones of reality. It seems that it's real, that I actually did experience it and I have found from experience that these revised days, if really lived, will change my tomorrows. When I meet people tomorrow that today disappointed me, they will not tomorrow, for in me I have changed the very nature of that being, and having changed him, he bears witness tomorrow of the change that took place within me." - The Pruning Shears of Revision
Before you go to bed, revisit the occurrences of your day and when you recall an unfavorable one that challenges your it girl state of consciousness and rewrite it. Follow the steps for the SATS and construct a scene that would replace the unfavorable situation and convert it into a favorable situation.
E. Finish the day feeling the wish fulfilled.
"Do not let the sun descend upon any vexation of the day." - The Pruning Shears of Revision
This one is an absolute must. If you can help it, try to refrain from falling asleep in the assumption that you are not an it girl. If you are not feeling the wish fulfilled, take a few minutes to meditate on your state and then fall asleep feeling embraced by it and the relief of knowing that who you desire to be is who you already are (also known as the Sabbath).
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VIII. Preservation ✧ How to sustain it.
"Do you always turn to your imagination and, no matter what happens, do you remain faithful to the state imagined? If you do, you have passed the test. But if every little rumor, doubt, or fear can move you around like a pawn on a chessboard, then you are not keeping the faith!" - God’s Creative Power
A. Persistence.
“By desiring to be other than what you are, you can create an ideal of the person you want to be and assume that you are already that person. If this assumption is persisted in until it becomes your dominant feeling, the attainment of your ideal is inevitable.”  - The Power of Awareness Ch. 3
To briefly remind you, persistence means to remain obstinate with an intention regardless of difficulties or obstructions. When you are adopting a new state of consciousness, you may initially struggle to feel it real or even become impatient with its lack of manifestation in the third dimension, but you must keep returning to it no matter what.  You may waver and you may falter but if you remember to proceed with the embodiment of your it girl state by returning to it through any preferred means, no force and no power will cumber its realization.
B. Forget about time.
"The length of time between my desire and its conception depends entirely upon my inner conviction that it is done."- An Inner Conviction
Focusing on the “time” it takes for your state to feel natural to you will only hold you back and keep you in a cycle of waiting. Ask yourself what the end, or the actualization of being an it girl, looks like for you and live in it. Do not suppress yourself to what appears to be the present moment if it is not reflecting the end of your desires.  If you are concerned with “the time it’ll take”, then you are conscious of the opposite of your desires which means you are not feeling the wish fulfilled.
Always seek the wish fulfilled and abide by it until it blossoms into your world.
C. Disregard appearances.
"These appearances will continue in being as long as you give them life through your conscious awareness of them. You must disregard the evidence of your senses as it pertains to any undesirable condition in your life. You must Imagine and feel that you have already attained that which you want to experience rather than that which you do not want to continue in being. This may appear difficult, yet you have probably exercised this principle unconsciously to produce negative results." -  Imagination Creates Reality
Do not settle for less than you seek. You never need to compromise with whatever it is that you desire because as I have mentioned, all exists and all is possible. Reject anything that doesn’t confirm that you are an it girl and never take no for an answer. Be adamant. Decide on what it is that you want and regardless of the limitations of your environment, consent to its immersion to your state of consciousness. No matter what you see or hear, do not accept it if it is not what you want. If you continue to suppress the acceptance of your desires to your senses then that's where your consciousness will remain.
“You don't accept one thing in the world as final unless it conforms to the ideal you want to realize in the world.” - The Pruning Shears of Revision
D. You already are, not will be.
“That which you seek you already are, it can never be so far off as even to be near, for nearness implies separation.” - No One To Change But Self
Something we can learn from it girls is the following: it girls don’t care whether or not they’re it girls, they simply are. So although we are intentionally shifting our state of consciousness, remember to not approach this with a trying mindset or the idea that you will become when you already are, because the use of the word “will” implies that you currently are not. As I’ve said before, “you can’t try to be someone you already are”. Whatever the wish fulfilled looks like for you, accept it at this very moment. Go straight to the end and bathe in it, rejoice in the fulfilled prayer as you go about your day and remain faithful to that inner conviction.
E. Reject the possibility of failure.
“Don’t be anxious or concerned as to results. They will follow just as surely as day follows night.” - Your faith is your fortune Ch. 21
Your desires are literally a guarantee. You can bring absolutely anything into being if you proceed with your intention in spite of what you experience in the flesh. You possess a gift that no one will ever be able to confiscate from you and that is your imagination. Intentional use of this gift will bring forward the beautification of your world in means you would not have been able to devise. Do not become an impediment in your journey by concerning yourself with the means, for they are never your responsibility. If you are serious and willing to assume in your favor, the mountains that need to move will move, the obstacles in the path towards heaven will be cleared and the people who need to play a role relative to its fruition will act accordingly without you having to do so much as lift a finger.
F. Apply.
“You must be doers of the law of assumption, for without application, the most profound understanding will not produce any desired result.” - The Power of Awareness Ch. 18
It is not enough for you to read the entirety of this guide without intending to put the instructions in it to use. You could read and listen to every document, every book and every lecture out there that tells you exactly how to manifest your desires but unless you take that information and put it to use, it was all acquired in vain. This post was long and detailed, do not let it go to waste by refusing to apply and persist. Wanting to do it is not enough, you must DO IT through persistence and a disciplined mind. Do not let the day in which you are reading this post to come to an end without acknowledging that you are an it girl now, not will be, you are. Plant the seed today and you will reap the harvest tomorrow.
"Your assumption, to be effective, cannot be a single isolated act, it must be a maintained attitude of the wish fulfilled." - The Power of Awareness Ch. 22
G. Calm reminders
I’m sure some of these concerns may have risen at some point so I will clear them up right now: acting as if is not necessary, neglecting your current circumstances and pretending they are not occurring is not necessary and being happy all the time is also not necessary. It is okay if you fall out of your new state from time to time, do not think that there is such a thing as “losing progress” because you can never truly lose what is already in your possession. If you are dealing with difficult circumstances I strongly recommend you read this post: how i manifested my dream life with extremely hard circumstances + how you can too.
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IX. Motivation ✧ 
“I don’t care what it is; when you know what you want, you can make your desire so real, so natural that you will reach a feeling of certainty which no power in the world can stop. When that feeling is yours, drop it. Don’t ask anyone if what you did was right or wrong; you did it and that’s all that is necessary.” - An Inner conviction
If you are truly serious about becoming the it girl of your reality, you’ll have to be disciplined, determined, and persistent. You have to be willing to give up who you are right now in order to become who you want to be because the longer you entertain your old self, the longer you’ll postpone your dream self. You can decide at any moment to change, and if you are not actively working towards shifting your state of consciousness then you are consenting to its preservation. You accept what you tolerate, whether it’s mediocre friends, mediocre grades or a mediocre lifestyle and the only way to put an end to that is by intending to because it all starts with you. Do you want it enough? Are you willing to finally become an it girl or will you continue daydreaming about being an it girl? If you’re capable of being someone you don’t want to be, what makes you think you aren’t mutually capable of becoming someone you do want to be? Your it girl self is not far away from you, she already exists within your imagination and she is waiting for you to bring life to her. You already know everything you need to know in order to do it, so what’s stopping you? I know it can feel challenging because we feel confined to our current circumstances but I have so much faith in you and I know you have it in you to give yourself the world. You deserve to wake up every day feeling completely obsessed with yourself and your life. You don’t need to spend a minute longer hoping things that feel like they’re out of your control change if you know you are the one who’s in control. This is your reality, after all. Decide who you want to be and what life you want to lead, start showing up every day for it and remember to never accept anything that doesn’t live up to your standards. Dare to pursue everything you have ever wanted, all you need is faith the size of a mustard seed. 
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X. Outroduction ✧
"Every dream could be realized by those self-disciplined enough to believe it."-  No One To Change But Self
And that concludes this guide! If there’s one takeaway you should carry with you from it it’s the following: you reserve the right to have high standards in regards to every aspect of your life, you deserve the partner of your dreams, the home of your dreams, the life of your dreams, you deserve all of it and more. Becoming an it girl doesn’t require a meticulous plan of action. All it takes is the use of imagination and discipline. You can realize your every dream. Whatever you want regardless of what it is or how unrealistic it sounds, you should demand more out of life and you should never settle for less than you desire, fantasize about or dream of, you can have it and you should have it. The world was made by you and for you so be self-willed and go for it. I have given you everything you need to know to become an it girl and all you have to do is apply. You’ve got this! Remember that you cannot fail, so when you succeed (notice how I didn't say if), I want to hear your success story. Until next time, mis amores!
Love always, your bestie Hera * .♡ *:・゚✧ ⋆ ࣪.* ࣪.⋆
“You can be the man (or woman) you want to be, but not by simply wishing. You must make the effort to look at the world mentally and see it reflect your fulfilled desire. And when it does you must remain in that state until you reach the inner conviction that what you are seeing, touching, tasting, smelling, and hearing is true, clothe yourself in the feeling of its reality - and explode! Do that and you are pregnant. And what do you do after pregnancy? Nothing! You simply wait for its birth to appear in its own appointed hour. And it will! When you least expect it your desire will objectify itself in the world for you to enjoy, whether it be health, wealth, or fame. That’s how God’s law works.” - An Inner Conviction
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robertreich · 9 months
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5 Crises Republicans Made up to Distract You
Here are five totally made-up “crises” Republicans have invented to distract from the real crises facing Americans today: the growing concentration of wealth, the worsening climate crisis, and the undermining of our democracy.
Fake crisis #1:  Anything they claim is “woke.”
Although Republicans struggle to define what “woke” even means, they’re constantly using it as a weapon to combat anything that seeks to foster tolerance and acceptance.
Pride flags? Woke!
Books about Rosa Parks? Woke!
Green M&M’s? The wokest!
Fortunately, most Americans think being informed and aware of social injustice…which is what being “woke” really means... is a good thing.
Fake crisis #2: The panic over trans people.
Trans people just want the right to exist safely as their true selves, like everyone else. And despite the lies spewed by some Republicans, there’s not a shred of evidence that they are a threat to anyone. But they’ve become easy scapegoats for the GOP, who vilify them and threaten to criminalize their very existence.
Fake crisis #3: Critical race theory
In reality, critical race theory is mostly taught in universities — like quantum physics or philosophy. It's really not taught in K-12, nor is it dangerous.
It’s merely a framework to understand the role that race and racism have played in shaping America’s laws and institutions. But Republicans have deliberately turned this obscure academic phrase into a weapon to silence any discussion of race they don't like.
Unfortunately, this includes teaching many basic historical facts.
Fake crisis #4: “Couch potatoes.”
Republicans are whipping up anger over welfare recipients supposedly abusing the system.
The reality is most people who collect benefits already hold jobs and work exceedingly hard.
Like Ronald Reagan’s claim about so-called “welfare queens”, the “couch potato” myth is a cruel racial dog whistle. In fact, the vast majority of Americans who receive government benefits are white.
We should be asking why so many jobs pay such low wages that workers need government help to get by?
Fake crisis #5: “Out of control government spending.”
Another lie. Apart from mandatory spending like Social Security, Medicare, and Medicaid, government spending has actually fallen more than 30% in the past 50 years as a percentage of our total economy.
[9.6% in 1973  vs. 6.6% in 2022, a decrease of  31.25%]
Yes, the national debt is a problem, but in recent years, among its biggest drivers have been the Bush and Trump tax cuts, which have added nearly $10 trillion to the debt since their enactment.
All five of these so-called crises have been manufactured by the GOP. They’re entirely made up.
Why? To deflect attention from the near record share of the nation’s income and wealth now going to the richest Americans.
As the wealthy pour money into politics — largely into the GOP — they don’t want the rest of America to notice they’re rigging the economy for their own benefit, that their greed is worsening the climate crisis, and they’re undermining our democracy.
So the game of the Republican Party and their major donors is to deflect attention — to use fake crises to disguise what’s really going on.
Don’t let them get away with it.
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love-takes-work · 1 month
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WHAT WAS THIS SHOW ABOUT?
One thing I really love about Steven Universe is that each of the four major characters kind of got a chance to be What The Show Was About. I would have LOVED spending more time with all of them and delving into who they were and who they became beyond what we got, but what we got was . . . actually pretty special.
STEVEN
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As the ACTUAL main character and the show's literal namesake, it's obvious he's the protagonist. Our man has been through a lot and I don't suppose anyone would say he never got his moment considering he was there for the whole show. But except for some pretty important identity stuff that depended on his choices in the last episode of the OG show, a LOT of Steven Universe is stuff that happened to and around Steven. There was so much history and so much baggage that a lot of the story was about how he fended it off, dealt with it, fought it, reasoned with it, and managed everyone's emotions in the process.
Steven is set apart from the others in extraordinary ways: being half human, being extremely young, being Rose Quartz's son, and having Diamond-level powers and a claim to the Pink Diamond throne.
We had to wait for Steven Universe Future before the show was entirely focused on him, his development, his trauma, and his healing.
Some episodes from the original show focused on Steven's mental health and growth as a person--most notably "Mindful Education"--but we just didn't get to linger very long with his development until the epilogue show because plot stuff was always happening, other people's feelings were taking center stage, and worlds needed saving. I'm really glad we got Steven Universe Future for that reason. Some people disagreed, but I felt like it was a long overdue look into the soul of who he is--how his central defining character trait was his selflessness, and how desperately he needed to address that without having it manifest in a toxic way in the tradition of Jasper, White Diamond, or Pink Diamond.
AMETHYST
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It could be argued that Amethyst had the most careful, nuanced, significant character growth of the three supporting Gems in the show. And it started immediately in the first season, when she constantly squabbled with Pearl and revealed that she felt judged and stifled and treated like a misbehaving child as early as "Tiger Millionaire."
Amethyst is set apart from the others in extraordinary ways: She's the clear outsider as the one who didn't fight in the war, the only full Gem from Earth in the group, the only Gem who grew up with no Homeworld dogma but also no roots, the only Gem who'd never met another one of her own and longed on some level for that connection.
The show continues to check in with Amethyst's self-worth issues throughout, giving us "An Indirect Kiss," "On the Run," "Maximum Capacity," "Reformed," and even "Cry For Help" (which seemed like an Amethyst episode until Pearl did her thing). We get "Onion Friend" when Amethyst shows us she thinks she's boring and that nobody values her. And we get "Too Far" when Amethyst really starts to internalize her inferiority based on Peridot's assessment of her and revelations of her origin.
With her cooking on that, we end up spending a string of episodes with Amethyst as the focus character. She's still shaking off dust about not doing what she's supposedly made for when a fight with Jasper twists the knife. She's beaten and insulted and almost physically destroyed, having to be rescued by Stevonnie. Steven misguidedly tries to cheer her up by letting her win at video games and she reveals that she thinks she's "the worst Crystal Gem." She finds an ally in him but still wrestles with her inferiority to Jasper. And when she still can't beat her in a rematch, she breaks down and realizes her strength is in togetherness. From there, she begins the process of healing, helped along by additional support from her family and finding some connection with meeting the Famethyst. When "Tiger Philanthropist" comes along and reveals that Amethyst doesn't need the outlet of wrestling anymore because she DOES feel she's good enough, we can reflect on what she's been through and how far she's come, and how that leads to her being the one who doesn't fall apart on Steven in the face of huge revelations about his mother.
GARNET
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Garnet kind of peaked early, which is not to say it wasn't great. The final episode of Season 1 revealed her identity as a Fusion and further that she was "made of love," and then everyone was on the "Garnet is awesome" train.
Garnet is set apart from the others in extraordinary ways: being a Fusion all the time, leading the team and generally holding the others at an emotional distance, never asking questions, offering resources to the others for stability and balance, being the only Gem with Future Vision and a massive responsibility to use it well.
"Jailbreak" was a huge defining moment for Garnet, and as the "stable" character whose worst problems were mostly other people's problems, she did not seem to need a character arc. She was the culmination of a love story, always awesome and strong and dependable and everyone leaned on her, and in "Jailbreak" we found out why she has such an amazing foundation. But the show was not done with Garnet. Not by a long shot.
Pearl hurt her badly in "Cry For Help." Garnet's breakdown and subsequent focus on building Pearl back up was a significant look into how Ruby and Sapphire operate as a couple. Garnet is amazing partly because she is the result of all that work, but who is she as a person? As an individual who isn't an individual?
We see some of her struggle with leadership as the show moves on--most notably "Pool Hopping," and some of the last episodes when she can't make decisions in the Diamonds' shadow because everything's become about Steven's choices. But Garnet gets a spotlight again when Ruby and Sapphire feel differently about the Pink Diamond revelations and they worry Garnet only exists because of a lie. Digging into the real answers of who they are together through finally asking "The Question," and defining their fusion in their own image, was a move toward more authentic stability for Garnet. Her wedding made headlines, and watching her spearhead the immediate fight against the Diamonds on the beach was awe-inspiring.
PEARL
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Pearl is initially presented as "the perfect one"--she's persnickety, she's organized, she's hyper-competent, and she's all about rules. But something else is going on with her not far beneath the surface. The first Gem to die onscreen--because of overconfidence and a silly mistake. The first (full) Gem to cry onscreen (and then over and over and over), the first to have a breakdown (and then over and over and over), the only one of the four to have faced an impossible choice, a relationship that nearly destroyed her, and a secret that ate her up from the inside. She was the only one who had (nearly) the whole story. All along.
Pearl is set apart from the others in extraordinary ways: the oldest Gem of the group by far, the one who served a Diamond and kept Rose Quartz's secret against her own will, the one who doesn't eat, sleep, or shapeshift. The one who both sat at royalty's right hand and existed as the lowest form of Gem life--created to be a servant, with programming no other type of Gem must live with. Her anxiety, grief, and desperate loneliness makes her one of the most multifaceted and interesting characters in animation history.
We see some minor wigging out from Pearl in "An Indirect Kiss" and a more intense version of it in "Space Race," but we get a much clearer picture that Pearl is Not Okay in "Rose's Scabbard." At that point we assume she thought she was closer to Rose than she really was--that she thought herself special and partial to secrets no one else knew, but that it wasn't true. "Rose's Scabbard" is a different episode on rewatch. Pearl is right that she alone was the one Rose "told everything." She did have a special relationship with her that the others did not.
Pearl's insecurity continues to bite us in the face as the show goes on. She tries to mold Connie into a self-sacrificial super-soldier after her own image in "Sworn to the Sword." Her deep need for someone strong to tell her what to do leads her to betray Garnet in "Cry For Help." Her inability to appropriately make it up to Garnet further complicates our understanding of how she can be so lost. Her jealousy, inertia, and angst frustrate her relationships, with some nice resolution in "Mr. Greg." Peridot's lore drop about Pearls' slave status sheds light on this, and seeing her get underestimated and bossed around by other Homeworld Gems is disheartening as we move on, but when we finally find out that she was Rose's secret accomplice in a false murder that poisoned thousands of their own citizens and led to massive waves of death, and that Pearl's free will to speak about it was also ripped away from her, we finally know, we know why she's been so brittle she could snap all along. She's been trapped inside herself all this time--in an almost literal way--and it's a wonder she's managed to carry on. Pearl's arcs have often been deemed the most emotionally fraught and tinged with gray morality.
These characters all got some very important story arcs focused on them in the midst of moving the plot along. I think the show did a phenomenal job with not only emotional development but with fallout for the other characters. We got to see the Gems' (and other loved ones') reactions when Steven's mental health took a nosedive, and watched them learn more about how to be there for him. We got to see Steven's initially misguided attempts to hype Amethyst up when she was spiraling, leading to him offering her what she actually did need, along with Garnet and Pearl (as Sardonyx) misfiring a bit when they wanted to celebrate Smoky Quartz. We got to see Steven's curiosities and misgivings about Garnet's life as a Fusion, and how Garnet affects others when she does crack under the strain, and how Steven must step up to leadership when Ruby and Sapphire are separated and how Amethyst tries to take care of him while Pearl has a guilt spiral. And we see how Pearl's choices led to Garnet's silent treatment, Amethyst's sulky helplessness, and Steven's attempt to hold the family together; we see how Pearl's confession reformats everyone's understanding of who the Crystal Gems are and why they're even here.
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And even when the show is taking careful turns with each character to paint their nuanced feelings and troubles on the screen, it still managed to give us such a worthwhile overall story, with action and backstory and worldbuilding and everything. What's different about it is that the center was always its people--their relationships, their psyches, their evolution and education. I truly love the balance these creators chose, and I remain grateful that we got to experience this story.
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