Horror Movie Marathon: They React to Llamageddon
Lucifer
• He does not want to watch it but he wants to know why the hell you want him to.
• He is completely blocking this out, he will pretend to watch it when you’re looking at him but he’s really thinking about tracking down whoever wrote this.
• Sax music has been ruined for him for a long time to come.
• “The llama did a fine job” is his only commentary.
• You should watch whatever he wants next if you want him to sit through this
Mammon
• He’s laughing so hard.
• He’s looking up how much a movie of that quality made because he knows he can outdo it.
• He finds it genuinely funny, like what the fuck are they doing? He never knows what’s gonna happen next. Will the llama smoke weed or bitch slap someone? You literally never know.
• Mammon, being himself, doesn’t look at Llamas the same way after the movie
Leviathan
• He’s never even seen hentai this level of weird—possibly?
• He’s gawking at the screen and not even eating the popcorn, just looking horrified
• “Why is that animated? Of course there’s tentacles!?”
• He keeps criticizing the camera positioning and making wild hand gestures
• What the hell did you get him to watch? The llama is pretty funny though. “Yeah! Kick the normie’s heart out”
• He no longer feels ashamed of his anime choices because he just had to watch a llama/human birth scene or whatever that was supposed to be
Satan
• He’s judging you so hard. How did you even find this movie and why would you watch it with him?
• He’s wondering if these people are serious through the entire film
• “Why is that one guy wearing a different shirt in literally every shot?”
• “How would the llama know to throw something electoral in the hot tub? And it does not take that long to die from electrocution.”
• He only enjoys the llama killing people and feels bad when the llama is killed.
• “I have no words…” he is not letting you pick out the next movie
Asmodeus
• “Literally what the fuck am I watching? Is that supposed to be a sex scene???”
• “Why the fuck is there so much sax music, it’s not that sexy! What’s happening?”
• “Eventually he just starts talking to the movie because he can’t sit and watch it seriously.”
• Horrified gasps and fake faints throughout the movie.
• “Poor llama! Those weird people deserved that!”
Beelzebub
He’s just watching. He honestly doesn’t care about quality, he’s here for a story which kind of happens.
The blood made him hungry for meat so now he’s got steak in addition to popcorn
Wonders if space llamas taste any good. They might be spicy if they can blow stuff up.
He really doesn’t have an opinion he just can’t figure out what happened and why.
Belphegor
• “The fuck did you put on…”
• Tries to go to sleep but it’s so weird he can’t take his eyes off screen and that kind of annoys him because it’s just so bad and it’s completely on purpose
• Has a personal grudge against the director but is laughing so hard when someone gets blown up by the CGI lasers.
• He’s secretly rooting for the llama because he thinks its fluff might be comfortable
• He has some weird dreams about llamas for a few nights after
Solomon
• Straight up says “no” he’s not watching it but he ends up doing so anyway when you beg him to watch it with you
• He’s not enthused and is hoping chewing his food will tune the sound out but the weird sex scenes and close ups have him choking on the food.
• “I’ve watching humanity grow for so long and accumulates…to this…”
• He does laugh at some point because it’s just so stupid is funny. He’s dying because how is this a movie?
• And then it gets even weirder and he’s sighing into a pillow and hiding his laughter
Thirteen
• Immediately tries to turn it off unless you tell her there’s some good traps in the movie
• She’s waiting for them impatiently but she does get a few—very violent ideas
• “Why’d that girl’s face never change. She’s not even acting? Why’s that guys shirt keep changing? No one kisses like that!? What is this!? MC—“
• She’s never watching a movie you recommend again unless it’s reviews are near-perfect
• She wanted to llama to win because the humans were too annoying
“I wonder is Solomon would survive a turbine?”
Simeon
How dare you play a movie with sex scenes while Simeon is there and they’re not even sexy, it’s weird as hell.
• They’re throwing a party at the home someone was murdered in?
• What are you showing him. It just keeps getting weirder, and is that a fluffy egg? Is that human birthing a egg!???
• He’s got a pillow to the chest. He’s not scared, he’s so incredibly weirded out he’s kind of frozen.
• He does not let you pick out the next movie, he needs to pet real llamas to get over that weird movie.
• Tells you this movie is why you shouldn’t do drugs. You should also start avoiding other humans.
Raphael
• He’s giving you a lot of judgmental looks
• “Someone was just murdered there and they’re having a party?”
• The weird close ups and tongue wagging gross him out.
• If you find a mysterious substance on a tree, do not emerge yourself in it? He’s shaking his head so much.
• He feels bad for the llama because it did nothing wrong and has to hang out with loud college kids
• Mildly amused by the dads parting words of how to kill future space llamas and then there’s cries of more. He hopes that means they’re won’t be a sequel.
Mephistopheles
• A stupefied expression on his face the whole time.
• Is this a joke or are they trying to be serious because he can’t decided and he wants to strangle the actors—his standards are way too high for b horror movies
• This human government has the worst investigative skills ever. Why would they leave the remains of the ship? How did they not see the goo? Are they really just not doing to address a fluffy egg?
• This is why he doesn’t attend college parties, are they all this weird. Have the humans truly lost it.
• How dare they disrespect sax music.
• His investigative method will lead him to find the real names of the actors and personally chastise them
Barbatos
• Each time something cringey happens he takes a good long look at you, judging your choice in movies
• Why would you show this to him? Why was this even made
• He doesn’t even have the energy to sigh while watching this.
• If he goes to make tea and you pause the movie until he gets back he will be internally very upset but try not to show it
• Even a time lord does not have the time for this movie but he sits there anyway, mostly looking at you as you die laughing from its stupidity.
Diavolo
• It’s so bad he’s laughing. They know what they’re doing, it’s crap and they’re embracing it.
• Only enjoys the llama and the bad special effects
• He literally won’t stop laughing.
• He feels like the actors are his friends goofing off behind the camera and it’s bringing tears to his eyes.
• He assigns them random names, “no, the llama got John!”
• “…is he….turning into a llama? Oh now it’s animated… oh no…is he giving birth?”
• Ever the optimistic he gives them an A for effort and is still laughing long after the movie is over.
• “Humans are so interesting…”
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