#like BITCH.???

[mondaymelon]

HI I LOVE YOUR THEME SMSM UEUEUEUEUEUE

I EXPECTED YOU, THE REALEST KAVEH GIRLFRIEND ™ TO SHOW UP IN MY INBOX LMAO. DO YOU ENJOY MY MOST HUMBLEST OFFERING

[one-hit-boy-wonder]

"lol tiktok users would rather learn mandarin than come to tumblr" yeah man that's crazy. who would have thought that people from the video-based dopamine-machine app wouldn't decide to join the text- and image- based no-algorithm website?

[letthehatersbark]

The funniest one star review of Wicked I've seen so far

[awittylemon]

kabru is so fucking funny. he’s out here playing 15 dimensional manipulation mind chess with a guy whose hobby is barking like a dog

[glowcowboy]

silliness and sincerity are not opposites btw. they are married. bisexually

[bubblesthecow]

Watching Star Wars in chronological order is so funny.

Obi-Wan Kenobi really took one look at R2D2 in the middle of the desert and said “No, Luke, I’ve never seen this fucking droid in my life. Looks like a real bitch though. Not that I’d know. This is my first time meeting the asshole.”

No one in that whole franchise was Gatekeep-Gasslight-Girlbossing quite like “Ben” Kenobi, regular human-man.

[teaboot]

The chick's bathroom at my location always has a bunch of fake flowers and seasonal soaps and posters n shit in it and I just asked the custodian kid if the men's did too and he said "Nah just the urinals, the women's room gets all the nice stuff" and he sounded so sincerely wistful so in conclusion I know what I'm gonna do this Christmas

[zillychu]

everyone sh. shutd up im cooking smthn

[tediousmalcontentt]

my favorite scene in all of literature is when Neil Josten wakes up in Columbia after being drugged, hurls an alarm clock at Aaron, dumps his water on the floor and throws the cup at Aaron, stuff his clothes down the toilet and squeezes out through the window, has the foresight to call Matt from a pay phone to protect his shit, hitch hikes back to campus, eyes back to brown?? shows up on Wymack’s door like 😜 and reveals he could speak German the whole time?? CHARACTER OF ALL TIME, that is a protagonist who knows how MOVE THE MFING PLOT ALONG

[blueskittlesart]

sailor-moon-style reincarnation magical girls where one of them fucking killed the other in their past lives. and it's yuri

[professionallyunstable]

so i started to think about some stuff. never doing that again.

[junglejim4322]

do you think a 5'4 and 6'2 height difference is predatory?

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[idontmindifuforgetme]

I don’t care about it at all (I have carried its weight around like a rock on my chest since the very day it happened)

[jackojpg]

i believe in vi arcane losermaxxing

[zhoras-bitch]

"average greek pisses off 3 gods and demigods a year" factoid is actually just statistical error. average greek pisses off 0 gods and demigods per year. Odysseus of Ithaca, who is just going home & making a mortal enemy of yet another olympian each day, is an outlier and should not have been counted

[philtstone]

feel like psych deserves more credit for manifesting guest stars from almost every single property it referenced. i know plenty of shows have pop culture relevant guest stars but none of them make references that are so very specific and none of them get 99% of their references to actually show up. like psych will throw out a name exclusively for the bit and then an unpredictable number of episodes/seasons later that person will literally show up as murderer/victim/random extended family member of the week with no comment. george takei. william shatner. cybill shepherd from moonlighting. almost every single actor from the breakfast club (one of them recurring!). biff and doc brown from back to the future. dr frankenfurter himself. literally carey elwes. john cena??? john rhys davies. half the cast of twin peaks. the original "come on son" guy. alan ruck. michael rooker. both leads from she's all that. winston from ghostbusters. bud's mom from the cosby show. curt smith from tears for fears (who also sang live with them at an event, like, twice). they mentioned billy zane and val kilmer so many times per season that through sheer willpower they got billy zane and val kilmer to both show up in their series finale. those guys committed to their bits so hard that they ended their show with one of the most diversified and stacked cameo rosters in tv & thats honestly so funny and iconic of them