#like i dont wanna get her in trouble or having them find out shit about me that my grandparents dont know about and that i would

[two-calicos-in-a-trenchcoat]

Love how me and my cousin don't really know how to talk to each other so we just play 8ball pool over facebook

[despairots]

could you do a story where miles from earth-42 and our miles are twins and we cant decide which one we like better as we like both of them? you can write the story however you want to!

━━━━━━━━ if i were you, i’d do me.

earth1610! miles morales x gn! hacker! reader x earth42! miles morales. fluff and if you like squint really really hard you’ll find angst. 18 and above please dni, unless your my moot or something… i forgot to change my requests to open but u can send me requests (only abt atsv) just like be patient cuz im daydreaming and shit 🙏

pls ignore the title its nothing suggestive i was braindead and was listening to my saved audios on tiktok this was thw first one on my saved so el oh el 🤕 i gotta keep my writing grind up. keep in mind that earth 1610 miles will keep beinf spiderman and earth 42 will keep being prowler. if y dont know sliver wolf from hsr, switch her up cuz reader is heavily based off of her

this’ll be left on a cliffhanger cuz like idk i just dont wanna make another part and sometimes things are better off with cliffhangers since you guys have creative minds you can come up with your own scenarios

where in a dimension, earth42 and earth1610 miles morales are twins, may look the same but have completely different hairstyles and different personalities also another weird, interesting fact, you’re a sucker for twins, especially them.

interesting fact about you, specifically you, is that you almost got caught by the government when hacking into their system to steal some information.

and of course, them having connections to spiderman, told him to go after this hacker who causes a lot of trouble for the government.

miles morales obviously being under that mask and friends with this hacker who knew that you hated authority (yes, you’re an anarchist), didn’t bother doing anything, probably just telling you to stop messing with them.

on the other hand, his twin bother, myles morales, encourages this behaviour. polar opposites but two cuties, and you, who got roped into romance with them.

“[name], what’d i say about hacking the government?” miles scolded you as you chewed on bubblegum with your feet propped onto your desk, holographic screens in front of you.

“i don’t know, me forgot.” you nonchalantly shrugged, spinning your chair to go back to your screens and swiping left to play the weeknd.

miles spinning you back and placing his arms on your arm rests, too close to your liking.

you smirked with a light scoff, “your brother likes it.” miles rolls his eyes at the mention of him, “i don’t care what he likes.” he snapped back, obviously lying.

miles leaned back with a sigh, “god, what am i gonna do with you?” “maybe get off my ass.” you muttered, not knowing if miles heard that, to which he did.

“i’m sorry, what?”

you jumped at that, quickly shooting your arms up and trying to find excuses, opening your mouth like a fish.

your voice’s overlapped eachother, unable to hear his twin brother opening the door to your room, mask off and everything.

he looked at you who kept stumbling on words.

miles spider sense went off and looked at the entrance, seeing the one guy who encourages your behaviour, “what - what did you tell them?” myles smirked and shrugged.

“i didn’t say anything, bro.” he placed his claws on your bed and sat down on it, “i am not your bro.” miles chuckled and sat down on your bean bag.

“um actually-“

“shut up.”

“cope.” you playfully stuck your tongue out at miles who smiled and rolled his eyes, god you loved his smile. i mean, what?

you don’t love them, boo, you hate them.

“dude, tell [name] that if i don’t catch the ‘hacker’ i’m gonna get my ass kicked.” miles and his brother made eye contact, “i hope you do.” myles replied with a playful tone.

miles threw his hands up, “you guys are actually evil.” you laughed at his comment, “we’re actually vigilantes.” myles pointed out, patting his brother’s shoulder (the bean bag literally beside your bed).

you smiled at the two with light pigment on your cheeks, “i really wanna kiss you guys—“ you paused your sentence with embarrassment, realizing you were saying your thoughts out loud.

the two paused and looked at you, blinking, “eso es adorable, amor—“ “get out.”

“¿qué dijiste, amor?”

“i hate you guys. kill yourselves. espero que te resbales y te caigas en tu próxima misión.” you rolled your eyes and buried your face into your hands as the two twins looked at eachother.

“you don’t mean that, amor.” you groaned at the nickname the two labelled you. it made you want to giggle, twirl your hair and kick your feet like a schoolgirl.

you blushed when you felt an arm sneak around your neck, hugging you against your chair with their head beside your ear, “te gustamos los dos, ¿verdad, amor?”

god, you couldn’t choose between the two.

[name] when they keep getting teased and literally cannot deal with it.

[lululandd]

being captain john price’s significant other would include:

>:3

♡ quick maffs.

you know for a fact its faster to ask him than to get your phone out, unlock it, open the calculator app, and typing the numbers in. it’s a blessing, really.

♡ never missing any appointments.

he just… rmemebers. man has near eidetic memory and even when he’s away at work he would message you to remind you of an appointment. man does not forget.

♡ would i lie to you?

price watches this show religiously. borderline obsessive even. can he find their tell on first watch? can he guess if its true or false? if you're both watching he would tell you tidbits about how to spot lies and all that. he had only been caught off guard twice watching this show. once was the one with claudia winkleman and her pet turtle yoshi, the other was kevin bridges accidentally buying a horse.

♡ lots of emoji replies.

you could be asking him for a quickie and he would answer with a “🤔🕦❓ 🕚❓”

♡ knowing features on your phone that even you dont know about.

“longpress the spacebar, love, it’s faster.”

“you can screenshot whole website pages, you don’t have to take individual shots.”

♡ zero tolerance for childish/bullshitty behaviour.

hes a funny man. silly. goofy. hilarious even. loves bantering around and mucking about. but the moment you try to act out to get in trouble or do something stupid for attention, he’s immediately captain john price. the change is drastic, immediate, and you don’t ever wanna see it again. mans has discipline ingrained into every fibre of his being and would not tolerate anything that could jeopradise both your image and your safety.

♡ having Nik and Gaz around on random holidays.

one day he just brought them over for christmas. Nik brought a simple two layered medovik (honey cake), and Gaz brought in potato dauphinoise. to this day you cannot replicate both dishes to perfection no matter how hard you try.

♡ random phone calls on random hours of the day no matter if he’s on duty or at home.

“hello?”

“allright?”

“yes john im fine.”

“good.”

and then hangs up.

you will never forget the one time he was so absorbed in research and paperwork that he called you. from the next room. you came into his study and he looked at you dumbfounded for a couple of seconds before you both burst into laughter.

♡ english breakfast.

in every brand imaginable. he likes certain brands in the morning, some brands he says are better drank during the rain or some shit like that. you tried pranking him by just giving him assam tea to see if he can tell the difference, and apparently he can distinguish immediately by smell so there goes that prank :’)

[strawdool]

My designs for lamb, narinder and my followers!!

if you wanna hear me yap about my followers i'll put it below.

So basically they are mostly the disciples i based it more on my gameplay

So Yarnaon, she is the oldest of all the cult and the disciples, in my gameplay she is my first wife but on my lore she is the most responsable out of everyone, being there the longest gave her a sense of wisdom and mostly helps taking care of the cult when Lamb is crusading. She is serious, hard working and doesnt have much like for chaos or havoc like the others.

Then there's Nono, MY PRECIOUS NONO she is the first born of the cult and on my lore (idk if call it an au im still seeing what to do) she is kinda of a daughter to Lamb, mostly being raised by them after a plague killed her parents. She is very sweet, out going and extremely loyal to her Leader. She has a bunch of scars on her bc of her crusades with Lamb. She loves fighting and adventuring and wont tolerate any bad mouthing of the leader.

And Merarno… he is something he is prankster, chaotic and mostly a troublemaker. A lot of the cultist dont understand how is it possible that he is still on the cult or hasnt been sacrificed yet. Welp, its because Lamb likes that about Merarno nothing its the same with him, there's always a new way they find to sneak up trouble under the Lamb's nose and after all these years running the cult sometimes its the same thing over and over again. That's why they gave him a immortality necklace but they havent made him his disciple, why? because they know that he will try to take advantage of his power. And for the cultist to not get mad of the favouritism towards Merarno they gave him the worst job which is cleaning poop or messes on the cult.

And Finally, Nollie, they are quiet, curious and always open to know more, one of the new disciples and someone born in the cult. They are mostly friends with Nono and often will work on the kitchen if they arent helping Yerarno around.

And ofc we have fucking Narinder, we all love him for me, the characterization of him its mostly yknow, an asshole still pissed fro lossing his powers but slowly warming up working on the cult, he would often work on the farms and alone mostly because almost nobody on the cult likes him. the few people that put up with his bullshit its Nono (because she wont be taking anyone's shit) and Merarno (drinking buddies). i tried to give him other clothes bc ngl i wont be giving him a long ass robe if he is working his ass off he kept part of his old tunic as a reminder of what he once was.

[hajihiko]

What did you make of DR3's explanation for how the characters became Despairs?

I dont like it. Here's a re-write i was thinking about

Ok note: this is what would have made the School Life thing more enjoyable TO ME. Not gonna fit for everyone obvi

Ok first of all. Junko loses most of her potential if you take away her being sneaky and manipulative, which we barely even got to see in the games, so I want that in ACTION.

Second of all, this takes time. More than just like a single moment of anime hypnotism. Junko was definitely working her suckers for at least a year. I dont know how that reflects on the timeline and I dont super care

-

Chisa's class is full of chaos, these are some of the rowdiest students you'll find. They have potential for getting along, but they're also Very Troubled, and Chisa is a kind soul who tries to help them out with various issues. Actual attention paid to these kids being, like, KIDS, but also having some major red flags in their backgrounds that could escalate out of control very fast.

Among others, she tries to get Chiaki to come out of her shell and interact with the others more. This is hard, because Chiaki is not exactly receptive to it at first, but theres a little bit of unity between all the students anyway and they slowly start becoming friends. Chiaki uses this friendship guidance to befriend a lonely boy who often stares longingly at the school, whom she's noticed by silently sticking to the background when he's around. This will come in handy later.

Until, certain students start hanging out with their junior of 1 year, who always seems to be kind of slinking around and hanging with at least one student a day. Chiaki notices this because a) shes very quiet and mostly goes unnoticed when she's in the background, and b) she only needs half her attention span to play games anyway.

The people Junko hangs around get noticeably worse, though not necessarily more divided; just sort of 10 steps backwards for every 1 step Chisa helped them take. The rude and mean ones stop trying to be kinder, the shy and meek ones retreat even more, etc. Chisa is at a complete loss with this, but Chiaki confides in her that it might be the new student making trouble. Chisa takes over, and encourages Chiaki to keep trying to make friends with the others, which Chiaki does.

(Mahiru gets scared into telling no one what happened / what she suspects happened in Natsumi's murder, and gets rid of the evidence, as advised. The evidence she throws away gets mailed to Fuyuhiko, who is encouraged to avenge his sister. Guess who orchestrated all that?)

Chiaki does not fall into Junko's claws, because she's quiet and unobtrusive and, importantly, less desperate for what Junko can give her than the rest is. Chiaki does, after all, have her teacher who took the reigns and told Chiaki to grab her own oxygen mask first, and her Lonely Boy to confide in, and whenever she starts to lose herself, he gently reminds her to stand firm. That's right, the secret weapon was the friends we made along the way, just like in the ending.

(Hajime is probably just doing things more or less like in the anime, maybe listens to Chiaki's growing worries about her semi-friends, shits getting fucked and the only conceivable way Hajime can help is by agreeing to be a lab rat obviously what else. Biggest downfall is wanting to be there for Chiaki, but not letting her be there for him in return. Because inferiority complex.)

Chisa goes to confront this troubled mystery girl; Junko catches her too and starts working her nasty magic- for example, did you know two of your students were a part of a murder? Aren't you supposed to be guiding them? Do you know what's really happening in this school? Do you wanna see the human experimentation they just started? Did you know your best friend is in love with your crush and you can't confide in either of them anymore actually? Etc.

Chiaki is all alone now. When she finally DOES confront Junko, once the whole class along with the teacher has been sort of indoctrinated and her Lonely Boy has ditched her and she's feeling a bit brave because of it all), Junko kills her horribly in front of everyone as they do nothing. Not because they were hypnotized, but because they choose to. This is what really marks the point of no return for them. Chiaki was a quiet and harmless and mostly very nice girl, and her death was pointless, and they were a part of it, and they got away with it.

Instead of being a practically perfect student council president, Chiaki has more of an NPC theme, falling into the background more but also being honest and nice and willing to work with people. Then later, obviously, she really is an NPC and repeats the process, but this time she manages to save her boy and therefore her class.

(I'm not opposed to Chiaki being JUST an AI and never a part of the class at all, but I havent thought about it as much so idk any good points)

Hajime retains the same themes, but gets to be more of a juxtaposition of Junko, sneaking into everyone's hearts by befriending them and helping them move forward instead of backwards. He wins with the power of friendship and all that jazz.

Everyone else gets way more accountability to take. No hypnotism or brain poking, just digging into the worst parts of themselves and then indulging them entirely (with the help of Ultimate Charismatic Cult Leader Junko). I think the most interesting thing about this whole narrative could be that Anyone is capable of intense cruelty, and Anyone can choose to be a better person moving forward.

anyway in my mind that's what happened differently.

[packet-of-staples]

Major Spoilers for AA ahead btw.

I just wanna talk about how fucked of a situation Angela is also put in because of the Escape from Arcadia publicity stunt. She was being strung along by Vivian to make her more money, she thought she was helping save someone's life, someone who she comes to really care for in the end. Only to find out she had been manipulated into turning Trevor's life upside down for the sake of ratings, basically the opposite of what she was trying to do.

And it's hard to wish she had never done it because she thought he was going to die! Her options, unbeknownst to her were, let this guy possibly die and live with the guilt of that or Traumatise Trevor and unknowingly give her evil boss more money. Like?? What a shitty position to be put it even if you didnt initially know it.

Not to mention the stress of having to hack into her job's technology and the possibility of getting into major trouble. She could have been caught at any time and fired. Walton OWNS her apartment guys. Kendra or Javert could have caught her at any time, fired her and she would have lost her income and probably her home. Then what would have happened? Would Vivian have just chosen a new employee to take her place to continue """"helping"""" Trevor?

Not to mention that Angela is never going to trust any authority saying they'll help her again after number 6. She trusted them! She was relying on them the guide her through this, following their orders (mostly) because she thought they were also trying to help Trevor. No. 6 was the only other person to she could confide in through the ordeal, everyone else around her aside from Trevor were basically enemies. She shit talked Vivian to No 6 so often and told them all of her plans and just god GOD!!! How awful is that, the one person you trusted to guide you was guiding you right into their claws.

Then for Vivian to turn around and blame Angela for the parts that got out of control. That never would have happened if you had left Trevor alone or you know, canceled the show?

Also there I very much doubt she would ever be able to find a job in her field again, being the person who 'betrayed' Walton Media helped an Arcadian escape Arcadia. It's a good thing she did win the lawsuit and started Solano Hills Productions with Trevor.

It just goes to show that Walton Media and Vivian dont limit their exploitation to those inside the dome, they're willing to ruin the lives of their employees and those outside of Arcadia too.

Anyway I hope Vivian ends up paying for both Angela and Trevor's therapy ❤.

[rule0fwolves]

100 rp sentence starters/dialogue prompts straight out of fanfictions I've written.

{feel free to change pronouns and wording as you need or see fit!}

ALSO DONT SAY ANYTHING ABOUT HOW RANDOM OR CHEESY THESE ARE I DONT WANNA HEAR IT

also also, a few of them are from WIPS that I have yet to unleash onto this hellsite or the other lame ones.

“Don’t play dumb. You knew how they felt. You were just stringing them on, right? You weren’t serious.”

“Woah, what’s up with you? You look pissed.”

“You did the right thing.”

“Worst of all, I miss you; the only one who deserves to be missed. You’re the only one who’s actually good for me.”

“You’re acting really distant for no reason. Well, maybe there is a reason, but how the hell would I know that if you don’t tell me?”

“I like you. More than a friend. I’m sorry I had to tell you like this.”

“What are you looking at me like that for?”

“You’re cute, I’ll give you that. But no amount of whining will make me tell you.”

“I better be the only man in your life. You’ll never find anyone as great as me, I promise.”

“Don’t worry baby, you’ll always be my number one”

“It’s gotten dark. Here, let me walk you home.”

“Duh? I, A, have found a movie that I think you, B, would like so I, A, am asking you, B, to see a movie with me.”

“Omg yes! I can’t wait to actually meet you! I want to go everywhere with you.”

“You can think about work later, okay? Let’s run away.”

“You remember our secret paradise, don’t you?”

“You need to take better care of yourself, bub. Whenever you need me, I’m here. I’ll help you.”

“Yeah. I remember you crying like a big baby when ___ called you average.”

“I am manifesting that ___ doesn’t actually like me and is actually confessing something else.”

“I’m gonna need at least 3 years before I can come back from that shit.”

“What kind of damage have you done you dumbass!!”

“SHE DOESN’T KNOW ANYTHING I SWEAR ON MY MAMA”

“THIS WOULDN’T BE A PROBLEM IF YOU WEREN’T A PUSSY AND YOU JUST CONFESS ALREADY!!”

“___ told me to say “mind ur business <3””

“Sorry, my lips are (forcibly) sealed.”

“Count your days, ___. Sleep with one eye open from now on.”

“You are so jealous it is so funny”

“I’M TELLING ___ YOU WANNA HAVE AN AFFAIR”

“I’m happy for you! I know you were pretty upset, so I’m glad things worked out.”

“Sorry about that. I panicked. Thanks for helping me out.”

"I don't really feel like working on the project today."

"Let's just hang out. Tell me more about yourself. You haven't told me much."

"Oh my god I've thought about this so many times, you have no idea.”

“Hey, pretty. Do you have a pen?”

“You should stay home. Rest a little. I’ll have fun for you.”

“Awww, you’re so eager.”

“I don’t want to stay just friends…. I like you too much.”

“Just lean on me. I won’t let you go.”

“Live for me.”

“I forgot to bring some clothes with me last night, and I thought you wouldn’t mind if I wore something of yours…”

“We’re done, _____. I’ve seen enough. I knew this was happening but I chose to ignore it. I chose to have faith in you and this is how you repay me? I guess I made the wrong choice. Thanks for nothing, asshole.”

“Of course you would, anything for just a kiss,” 

“Go, go! I don’t want you to get in trouble for me.”

“Thanks. I don’t know what I’d do without you and your layers,”

“Well if it turns out you rejected me, then I wouldn’t have to see your stupid face again afterwards and I wouldn’t have to feel awkward about it.”

“Say it again! Say you like me!”

“I’ll kill her if you want me to. No one hurts my ____.” (joking)

“Says you, Mr. Five Foot Nine Inches!!” (can go for any height under 5’11” or 180cm)

“It’s dark out there and you never know what could happen.”

“Thanks for coming over. I feel a lot better.”

 “Don’t worry, sweetheart, it was just a joke.”

“____! Let me go! You smell, go shower!”

“It’s been a month already, but that doesn't make it hurt any less.”

“I couldn’t find an umbrella… And I didn’t know it would be raining that hard. It was only sprinkling when I left”

“Oh my god thank goodness it’s you. My friends ditched me.”

“What the fuck are you doing? Get off me!”

“I like the way she looks at me. And I like how she always cares about me. And the way her eyebrows furrow together whenever she’s confused and the ways her eyes sparkle when she’s amazed by something. And of course I love her attention.”

“Don’t get rid of your feelings for me. Don’t forget me. Don’t like anyone else.”

“Hey, instead of sleeping on the couch, could you sleep with me? I’m sure it would be much more comfortable and better for your back.”

 “How’s it going my little emo buddy?”

“Not exactly stalking… Just… Watching. I don’t want you to get hurt. That guy is just a player. I can give you everything you need.”

“You really hate love, don’t you?”

“You’re such a great friend. What did I do to deserve you?”

“If you ever show your face near me or my friends spewing bullshit, I’ll make sure you can never walk again.” 

 “I won’t stop you. You’re not mine anymore.”

“I just think… I need some space. We should… Take a break.”

“I’m so sorry, ____. I’m sorry I pushed you away. I’m sorry for being so selfish. I’m just… I’m just so scared, (nickname).”

“(full name), I’m in love with you. And that scares the shit out of me.”

“I don’t want to hurt you. I don’t want to hurt you more than I already have.”

“I’ve liked you since day one, ____. You can hurt me all you want.”

“Let’s keep it that way. I don’t want you dating until you’re 30.”

“What are your intentions with ____?” 

“I’ll burn you alive if you even think about doing something to ____,”

“Everyone be nice to her or else you’ll be eating wood chips for breakfast, lunch, and dinner”

“Be more careful next time. Your friends would have my head if I let you get hurt,”

“Don’t you get lonely?”

“ You really look the opposite of okay.”

“You’re upset over a 97 percent?”

“ I’m just so disappointed in myself.”

“You can uh… Pay me back later if you really feel that bad about it.”

“You were glowing.”

“It’s what you’re thinking though, right? Why bother with the fake kindness, hm?”

“Do you want to watch a movie? I have Netflix.”

“I’ve only ever skated once and I was terrible at it.”

“Alright, we can take it slow. I won’t let go of you until you feel confident in yourself. Okay?”

“Where did you get that information?”

“I am going to murder that motherfucker.”

“Babe, come on. Your feelings are totally valid. He gave you mixed signals. Even if it was fake, you have a right to feel upset.”

“Who is ____ and why are you out for his blood?”

“I’m so sorry. I tried so hard to get over him, I did. I wanted to like you back, but I can’t. I’m still so helplessly in love with ____.”

“Please don’t force yourself to like me. You can’t help who you love.”

“Have a good nap. But before you do, there’s a… present.... in your room.”

“We need to talk. I’m serious this time. Please just listen.”

“I know the relationship was fake, but I swear to you, my feelings are not.”

“I am just about as in love with you as you are with me.”

“I’ve never felt this way about anyone before you.”

“Let’s start over. For real this time.”

“Your brother is terrifying.”

“He’s been hanging out with ___ too much, the stupid is rubbing off on him.”

“You… You want me to choose…?”

“I’m not the ordinary monster that lives in your closet or under your bed. I’m way fucking worse.”

[c00pswhore]

South Park headcanons

these are my personal takes pls dont burn me with a torch <3

edit: was written and posted before s26 ep 5

Main 4 and Butters!

Stan is “the boy next door” trope and that is one of the millions of reasons he hates living on the farm

SPECIFICALLY: because it makes him the stereotypical redneck that lives in a small town and happens to live on a farm.

Wendy is the one who introduced him to the trope in the first place because she was "the girl next door and my boyfriend is the boy next door!!"

He wasn't really big on books and took Wendy literally hence moving away from Wendy totally convinced him they were over.

He cried about it until Wendy showed up for game night (board games) and she was gushing about the boy next door moving "fit perfectly" for their relationship.

Then they broke up over a game of monopoly (they usually get back together over the weekend)

Shelly found out about his hidden alcohol and then immediately showed him her stash. She still threatened to snitch because he was too young to be drinking.

He and Shelly have a game where they take a shot every time Randy says something about weed.

Randy's middle initial is S, I like to believe that his middle name is Stanley, and Stan is named after him :P

Stan’s middle name is Francis because that was Sharon's first option but Randy thought it would be hilarious if all of them had S in their names.

Eric "Theodore" Cartman makes fun of Stan for his middle name because "Fuck kind of name is Francis??"

Kyle has refused to utter his middle name to anyone. Not even Stan. Apparently it starts with a U.

The boys only know this because once when they were playing over at Kyle's house and his cousin Kyle's family came to visit and Sheila was calling for Kyle to get his cousin to join them.

Kyle didn't answer the first few times so when Shelia burst into his room and started yelling "Kyle U-" Broflovski screamed and followed her to the living room, leaving the other 3 in absolute bewilderment.

Kyle's middle name is Uziah. His parents call him that ONLY when family comes to visit because of his cousin Kyle S. or when he's in HUGE trouble.

Whenever his cousin first came to visit, he begged his mom not to call him by his middle name because

1. Cartman 2. Cartman and 3. Cartman

So Kyle 2 was settled that fateful day.

Kyle plays knight's in training with his knighted brother because he secretly thinks it's so cool.

Like he sat and read up on everything he could learn about Canadian knight's for Ike just to make their play more accurate. And he will never admit it to anyone.

Kenny's middle name is Logan. Cartman claims that his middle name is the most common name for poor people.

Kenny got his first phone (iPhone 7) from Kyle and all of his usernames use his middle name

Logang.McC1 is his main iteration and he absolutely cyberbullies anyone who interacts from the Logan Paul side of the internet

Also laughs at Cartman for getting pissed off that Kenny doesn't care if his middle name is for poor people because again, Logan Paul is living proof it isn't.

Kenny knows sign language and is fluent. He has selective mutism due to trauma (negligent parents, immortal, foster care) and uses it to talk.

Sometimes he just doesn't wanna talk and he'll just start signing and nobody knows what he said. Ironically.

Taught Butters sign language to solely shit talk Cartman with him.

Cartman swears that he can feel them talking about him, but doesn't care enough to learn to find out.

Kyle and Stan know some basic communication signs and they use it sparingly. Otherwise they'll just text him.

Kenny and Karen have a secret language that they speak to each other in.

It started whenever their parents would get drunk/high and start to fight, which scared Karen, so Kenny invented their secret language to make her laugh without drawing too much attention to them.

Kenny loves playing tea time and princesses with Karen (hence why he loves being Princess Kenny) even though they don't have all the materials

The reason the other boys don't laugh at Kenny for being into "girly" things is because Clyde made the mistake of laughing at him, after going to get him to play superhero's and 15 ish mins later in Cartman's basement Mysterion showed up and beat the actual shit out of Mosquito.

Cartman is currently attempting to convince Liane to get their house open and going for extra money to move out.

Liane told him to make a unique hot dog and maybe she would consider it.

Cartman determined to revive Cartman Burgers (R.I.P) came up with his world "famous" chili dog recipe.

Liane was mortified that Cartman even considered using chili and told him never mind.

He was pissed off for weeks.

Cartman is surprisingly good at cooking, and before his untimely demise, he used to cook for Clyde Frog.

When he isn't being a complete psychopath, Cartman streams and records on Twitch for money, using his hotdog house as guilt bait.

The only people who watch are the Boys and they all make fun of him in the chat. He always reads them out loud and cusses them out.

Cartman uploads clips of his twitch streams to TikTok, as a joke to make fun of Kyle, and they blew up.

The reason? Fat kid screaming at chat for bullying him and uses racist remarks as a comeback. Perfect gamer material.

His Twitch channel now has 1,000 subs and a dedicated subreddit.

The boys were initially jealous, but laugh whenever they find out Cartman started the subreddit.

Cartman's dream job at one point was to be a sniper.

Butters loves Kyle's afro because his parents only let him have shaved sides.

Butters hair naturally is sorta wavy so he harasses Kyle about his hair routine. Kyle told Butters he had one more time before he would karate chop the shit out of him. (Kyle ended up spilling his 35 step care routine though)

Butters and Stan both have honorary access to the girls board game club and Butters only goes to offer Stan moral support

Butters, Kyle and Stan all stay after school for football and soccer practice and he usually invites the two boys over to his house to watch Terrance and Phillip.

Butters got his nickname because his hair is the color of Butter.

JK: In preschool he brought a stick of butter for show and tell and tried to explain that it was his pet butterfly, because earlier that week his father told him the butter flies joke.

Butters joins Kenny and Karen sometimes for princesses and tea but he dresses up as a pretty ballerina.

That's all I got really. :P

[gravechimera]

YAPFEST AHEAD, BE WARNED.

making a seperate blog for this because i dont feel like my main one is safe for this specific topic. please do not try to guess or out my main here. this is a blog where i specifically talk about gender thoughts & confusion i have, because i dont have resources to talk to anybody in real life. as of writing this i am questioning whether or not i am transfem/a girl, i currently call myself agender on main but in reality im still dealing with the question of whether im full on transfem or not.

for the record i am a teenager in highschool, i began questioning my gender when i was 11 years old, there were some obvious signs before then but i didnt necessarily have the knowledge or words to piece those together. ive identified as various nonbinary labels over the past few years, starting at demiboy then shifting towards countless xenogenders*, starting off with space themed ones then becoming more accustomed to cutesy pastel themed ones. i actually used to run a blog that coined terms like those, i ditched it but it definitely still lingers. now im agender on main & questioning transfem on the side, basically i slowly & extremely hesitantly accepted the fact i dont feel like a boy. ive only recently considered falling under the girly umbrella somewhere near the beginning of highschool when i had started realizing that lots of my favorite content creators are also trans girls, most notably patricia taxxon.

(*yes, i do support xenogenders & neopronouns.)

but i dont necessarily feel like a girl either? ok well sometimes i do but in a way that rejects most ideas of what girliness is? i feel like theres a distinction between wanting to do typically girly things like paint my nails, wear dresses, etc & actually feeling as though i am a girl or would be happier living as one. i dont like being called he/him pronouns (not like i have a choice) but i also dont like being called she/her, i usually gravitate towards they/them, it/its & any *edgy" neos like bone/bones & bat/bats. my relationship with femininity distinctly goes against traditional femininity, both cis & trans forms of the sense. i have a sorta emo furry thing going on as opposed to the usual pink cat thigh highs bridget stereotype.

i am unhappy being percieved as a boy, but terrified of being percieved as a girl due to all the societal troubles that comes with it like getting hit on by creeps, stared at, groped, all that shit. not to mention im already black, diagnosed autistic & a furry, why add another target on my back? i feel like the term girl doesnt even describe me all that well, its deeper than that. but neither does nonbinary despite me clearly not falling under or even believing in the gender binary most of the time.

theres also a part of me that wants to just ditch this question along with the concept of gender as a whole, hence identifying as agender on main. most times i do see binary gender norms & the like as bullshit, but the feminine feelings creep up like a tarantula & i begin questioning myself, while still despising the idea of gender. i think part of this hatred towards said binary comes from the fact i am therian/identify as nonhuman & see human binary concepts as something holding me back. from what exactly? i dont know, it just is.

also related to my therianthropy, i find myself conflating species dysphoria with gender dysphoria & confusing myself because of it since the thoughts directly contradict eachother. one moment i find my body hair ugly because its masculine, then the next i find it ugly because i wish i had more to emulate fur. one moment i wanna be socially percieved as feminine, then the next i dont even wanna be percieved as the same species as anybody around me. it makes exploring my gender really confusing because the thoughts attack eachother while also trying to attack me.

i will say though that the nonhuman thoughts are way stronger than the feminine urges. i dont care about feminizing my voice in the slightest apart from my aspirations towards being a voice actor, i dont shave nor do i want to, im indifferent towards my gen*tals because nobody in public should be seeing or thinking about them. however i do absolutely despise being referred to as the name i was given at birth, alongside any possible variations of it, including neutral or feminine nicknames/alt spellings/etc. i would much rather be called either scarlet, chimera*, or cherry, all of which i picked because they both suited my emo theming, i hadnt even thought of how girly any of them sounded while picking them.

(*chimera also happens to be the name of a notorious creep within a fandom im in, complete coincidence. i might refrain from going by that so i dont get mistaken for them.)

theres also this conflicting second hand antidysphoria, i guess? specifically towards people that remind me of the very things i despise about myself. i have a sort of obsessive fascination with the idea of how somebody could find solace in the very things that plague my existence, for example transmascs that pick my deadname as their new chosen name, those with interests in media thats been permanently tainted in my eyes due to abusers, etc. theres a weird beauty in it, it makes me want to sort of embody them in order to lessen the burden those things have on me. i know if i explained this to somebody directly theyd assume im a freak or something, which is honestly a somewhat reasonable take. just putting it here for more background i guess.

what do you people think? is this a normal case of gender questioning? do any other queer therians experience this weire conflicting double edged dysphoria? am i a fucking lunatic? am i just a confused child being brainwashed? let me know & feel free to ask questions.

[j-art-2d2]

Okay so I saw that you wanted Jinx requests so hear me out-

Jinx and Vi with a stoner s/o?? So sorry if this goes against your rules. I tried to look for your rules but I couldn’t find em <3 you don’t have to add vi If you don’t want to

such a good idea i am hearing u out to the fullest extent !! and thanks for being so respectful! i just created my masterlist so at the time of you sending this i hadn’t had a rules list yet

bold of you to assume vi isn’t my second love

as a pothead i am eating this idea up!!

.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~

Jinx w/ Stoner S/O

🍃everyone already assumes she smokes because of her tattoos

🍃definitely has the coolest set up. im talking personalized bongs and bowls. glow in the dark rolling trays. ashtrays she doodled on shoutout to silcos ashtray

🍃speaking of silco, she smokes in the house despite him not liking it. it’s like typical annoying dad behavior. he’s not actually mad about it because he knows how it helps her but he’ll still be uptight about it.

🍃gets “caught” smoking in her room all the time and “lies” about it to be funny because she knows she’s not actually in trouble. it’ll be like, silco : were you smoking in her !?! jinx : *grinning, eyes squinty* nope the room : YES!!!!

🍃jinx honestly has more than enough reasons to smoke. anxiety, trauma, ptsd, to calm the voices and herself, to clear her mind, etc.. it’s mental illness love

🍃used to smoke by herself in her room in the dark :( but once u came along she started smoking more with you and having fun with it

🍃only other person she smokes with is ekko. always invites you. doesn’t wanna go anymore if you’re not but goes anyway. texts/calls you the whole time she’s there

🍃one of her fav things to do now with you is have a smoke sesh. you, her, blankets, squishmallows. mini fridge for food and drinks and a snack shelf. made a whole playlist just for when you guys are smoking. always insists on watching hangover

🍃wakes you up with breakfast and a joint she rolled with a heart filter in it. whenever she rolls for you she always makes the filter into a heart. always.

🍃whenever you guys are out you can count on her to have her pen and oil with her but always comes prepared w at least one joint heart filter of course!

🍃prefers joints over blunts. bongs over bowls. avid bong water spiller tho weed over oils. only smokes dabs when things are really bad and she NEEDS it. uses blue cotton candy flavored papers for funsies sometimes

🍃def always has weed under nails bc like.. they’re long lol but she also uses her nails to pack down and ash out bowls so she has ash under them too hate to admit it our girl is nasty but its ok i am too 🤪

🍃definitely the type to laugh while you’re coughing and tearing up because of a bong hit but will get you water without you asking. always gets her own bev but doesn’t even drink it the whole sesh because she’s too busy talking

🍃always says “holy shit girl queen pussy boss” after you take a really big bong hit

🍃has to blow her bang out of her face before she lights a joint. always lights her bang on fire when taking a bong hit

🍃listens to rock music when she rolls. says it gets her in the zone and helps her focus. shaky hands

🍃you have to keep telling her to smoke whenever she tells a story because she will just keep talking and forget she even has the joint in her hand or that its her turn to hit the bowl/bong

🍃always wants candy when she gets the munchies

🍃will sneak into your room and leave mini jars of weed for you to find later. or if you’re otp w her and start complaining about not having weed she’ll say “look in [random object]”. you look and boom mini jar with weed. its always fresh too you dont know how she does it

🍃started smoking with herbs because she had a conversation with you about the benefits. giving very “this shit is a girl blunt,i only smoke girl blunts”

🍃always gets free weed because she’s pretty but also drug dealers are scared of her :)

🍃you and her like to play smoking games. who can hold their hit for the longest? who can do the best smoke tricks? who can roll the fastest?

🍃gets extra touchy and needy with you when you guys smoke. needs all the cuddles and kisses in the world.

🍃said “i know a spot” and took you to the old arcade

Vi w/ Stoner S/O

🍃first things first. prefers blunts over joints. will always smoke a blunt. bongs intimidate her. you had to literally beg her to hit yours. always gets bong water in her mouth.

🍃has a surplus of backwood rolling trays and grinders. always wears her backwood hoodie to the cyph. giving very frat boy

🍃will always roll for you without you having you ask. she loves when you watch her roll and then compliment how it’s hitting afterwards. flexes every time someone says she rolls good. embarrassing.

🍃used to always just smoke with ekko but started feeling left out because ekko kept inviting jinx so she started bringing you. now the four of you alwayssss smoke together

🍃can smoke in her apartment but her roommate caitlyn is so annoying about it so she has to put a towel under the door and light a candle/incense

🍃is always saying “i need a new candle” “i need more incense”

🍃always gets ash on her hand/arm wraps/bandages. keeps accidentally lighting it on fire while lighting a blunt

🍃gets the munchies and eats all her snacks but doesn’t remember she did the next day and asks you what happened to her snacks

🍃always has weed stuck in her hair and under her nails. actually let’s you run your fingers through her hair if you just touched some sticky weed and can’t get all of it out of your fingers. you don’t know why but it always works

🍃loves to provide you with weed. will randomly just put a few nugs in your hand when she drops you off at home as a show of love

🍃same as jinx. mini fridge for drinks and food. hides snacks in a bin under her bed. prefers to cook for you though.

🍃picked up smoking in jail and it just stuck ever since. mainly for fun/enjoyment. vi just likes being high lol does help with any anxiety, depression, trauma, ptsd, etc.. she may have

🍃plays sad boy trap music when she rolls. says it’s a vibe but you know it just makes her feel cool

🍃looks at you in horror when you take a huge hit. rubs your back when you cough and opens your water for you. jokes when she knows you’re okay.

🍃always gets free weed because she’s THE BRO to all the drug dealers. they let her buy on credit and don’t even ask her to pay it back.

🍃loves to get cuddled up with you to smoke. pulls out all of her blankets and pillows. bought a projector just to watch action and bad scary movies with you when you guys smoke

🍃likes to “share” her hits with you by blowing them into your mouth while you kiss

🍃actually enjoys having a pen and oil. gets matching ones for you and her but still will give you hers to hit.

🍃has been begging jinx to teach her how to make a heart filter

🍃doesn’t understand what you mean by “girlblunt” but bought herbs for when you come over to smoke anyways. even put them in cute little jars for you shoutout to jinx for the jars

🍃kisses the blunt before asking you to light it. that’s how it goes. she rolls. you light.

🍃always passes the blunt/joint to you first during the sesh respectfully 🙏

🍃said “i know a spot” and took you to the world ekko made

[ase-trollplays]

When We Were Kids (Part Two)

There, d'y'all feel better now that yer big strong moirail's gotcha in her arms-- Er, arm. Fuckin' hell, this is gon' take forever ta get used ta.

...yeah... i feel a little better... ...what about you though?... ...i know it hurt to adjust yourself...

Yeh, but it ain't nothin' I couldn't handle. Y'all just heard what I been through, an' that was when I was a wriggler. I'm built warship tough.

...hehehe... s-sure you are...

Are y'all laughin' at yer moirail? Ya don't believe I'm tough as they come?

...its a little hard to believe when a few pokes can take you out...

Yeh, well I ain't gon' be this sore ferever. Matter a fact, I think I'm already on the mend.

...s-so you can s-suplex dantli through the floor when he gets back?...

Gimme another night'r two an' I'll be judo flippin' him out a window. I'll do it with one arm.

...just clean up the glass afterwards... ...i dont want mom or any of us getting cut on it...

Yeh, yeh, I know. ... So, since we're sharin' wrigglerhood stories, I'd love ta hear what yer growin' sweeps were like.

...compared to what you told me... my childhood was completely wonderful... ...i cant complain about anything...

This ain't a game a trauma poker where we gotta one-up who grew up worse. No one with a perfect childhood grows up ta be a depressed adult who hates everythin' about herself. Y'ain't gotta tell me shit if ya don't wanna. I know yer not the kinda person who likes talkin' about herself.

...no... no... its fine... ...you told me everything about yourself... s-so its only fair i tell you what growing up was like for me too...

...i was always s-small and not very s-strong... ...im pretty s-sure i was a runt when i was a grub... and i wasnt much better after i pupated... ...i dont remember the trials... but what i do remember is being completely terrified... ...i probably just barely made it out...

...i was s-so s-scared of other people... ...it didnt even matter what caste... ...lower castes could kill me with their psionics... and higher castes are just plain s-stronger than me... and s-some like purples and cobalts have psychic powers... ...on top of that... if one of them killed me it would be justified because im lower on the s-spectrum than them...

...mom went with me everywhere when i left my hive... ...s-she was s-scared for my s-safety because i would be s-so easy to kill... ...s-she always told me to run if i got into trouble because im too weak to put up a fight... ...in hindsight... s-she s-shouldnt have been s-so coddling... ...it only hurt me in the end... but its not her fault... ...s-she was s-scared just like i was... and s-she wanted me to be s-safe more than anything... ...s-she just did what s-she thought was best...

Sounds like ya coulda used a lusus like my pa. He's a hardass who don't coddle'r or baby anyone. My first fights growin' up were with him cuz he didn't want me ta grow up weak an' defenseless. Bein' the lowest a the low castes, I couldn't afford not ta be if I wanted ta survive.

Ah fuck, sorry, I didn't mean ta interrupt.

...your fine... dont worry...

...anyways... when i was three s-sweeps old... i met s-sonja... ...he tried to... ...he tried to kill himself jumping off the cliff my hive's built into... but it wasnt high enough for the impact to kill him... ...he got injured very badly... and he managed to find the hatch leading into the maze and climbed in...

...i dont know how long he was there before i found him that night... but when i s-saw him... i was pale at first s-sight... ...at least... i thought i was... ...looking back on it... it was just s-strong platonic pity...

...he was a mess... hes only a s-sweep older than me... but he was s-suffering s-so much... ...his personality was s-splitting... and it ruined the few friendships he had... ...he was having trouble coping with basically becoming two different people... and having to go through it all alone... s-so he tried to end it... ...when he s-saw me... he demanded i finish the job and kill him... ...he s-said i had to do it because hes a highblood... s-so i have to do whatever he s-says...

...obviously i refused... but i s-stayed with him and talked to him until he calmed down... ...after that... i s-started taking care of him... ...it felt like my responsibility s-since he didnt have anyone else other than his lusus... and im s-supposed to always help highbloods because im just a midblood...

...once he was healed... he insisted that we were meant to be together... and it was no accident that we found each other... ...our meeting was pure fate... just like moirails are meant to be 'fated allies'... ...i admitted that i wanted to keep him company and keep helping him s-since he was all alone... and i was afraid that he would try to kill himself again if i left... ...s-so we agreed to be moirails...

...he was incredibly doting and s-sweet... ...both halves of him were... ...he went out of his way to s-spoil me and protect me... and i was s-someone he could confide in and trust and rely on for s-support... ...honestly... if i didn't have his protection growing up... i dont think i would have s-survived to adulthood... ...at his insistence... i never went anywhere without him just in case things went wrong... and he s-saved me a lot...

...we were happy... but we were terrible for each other in reality... ...just like my lusus... he reinforced that im helpless and weak and fragile... s-so i didnt learn how to defend myself much and become more independent... ...at the s-same time... i was too coddling of him and never reinforced boundaries... s-so he got used to always being my priority and having all of my attention at a moment's notice... ...we were only four and three s-sweeps and too immature to be in a relationship... but we didnt know that at the time... and we both ended up worse for it...

...i internalized that i cant do anything on my own... and i felt even worse about being s-such a 'bad' troll and the complete opposite of how were taught to be... ...i felt worthless... but helping s-sonja gave me a purpose and made me feel like i was doing s-something important... ...which turned into the depression i have now... ...im not s-sure he even noticed how i felt...

Prolly cuz he was so damn obsessed with himself and his own feelin's that he wasn't payin' attention ta yers, cuz that's the kinda impression I'm gettin' a this guy.

...yeah... i know that now... but back then i just s-shrugged it off...

...once we were about eight and nine s-sweeps... he s-started depending on me a little bit less... and i was finally able to make my own friends outside of him...

Wait, y'all didn't have no friends that whole time?? Fer five sweeps!? He hogged all a yer attention fer that long!!? An' that didn't set off red flags??

...like i s-said... i didnt know any better... ...i thought that was just part of being s-someones moirail... ...even once i s-started making my own friends... he had to be my priority at all times... and i accepted that because that had been my normal for s-so long... s-so it didnt s-seem problematic...

...it didnt become a problem until i met dantli... and we s-started to become flushed... ...now i had s-someone else that was a priority in my life... and i couldnt always drop everything to run to s-sonja whenever he called anymore... ...i wouldnt s-say he was livid... but he didnt take having to s-share me well at all... ...he would get incredibly jealous... which made him clingier and more demanding... which in turn made dantli upset... and he would get jealous and clingy too...

...i was constantly caught in the middle of them... which only made my anxiety and depression worse... ...it finally came to a head when i was badly injured when i was nine... and they both insisted on taking care of me... ...they were constantly at each others throats and competing with each other over who was the better caretaker... ...eventually enough was enough... and i had to make a choice...

...at this point... id been telling s-sonja for at least half a s-sweep that his overdependence on me was making me uncomfortable... ...after developing healthy friendships with other people and s-seeing how a good relationship is s-supposed to work... i realized what i had with him was deeply unhealthy... ...however... he kept making excuses and trying to justify his behavior... s-sometimes even going s-so far as to s-say his life wouldnt mean anything if i wasnt in it... and that s-scared me... ...but i just couldnt do it anymore... s-so i broke up with him...

Surprised he didn't do somethin' stupid like kidnappin' ya or tryin' ta kill Dan an' gettin' squashed fer his troubles. Seems like the type that ain't gon' take bein' dumped with dignity, 'specially if he was attached ta y'all at the goddamn hip like he was.

...i actually got lucky... ...we had a mutual friend who was vacillating flush and pale for him... ...after i broke up with him... he went straight to her...

Hmph. Sounds like she was plannin' on bein' a li'l hivewrecker. She saw things was goin' sour an' was just bidin' her time 'til y'all broke up so she could swoop in an' take him fer herself.

...i dont think it was like that... but i was just relieved he had s-someone who would be able to keep an eye on him...

An' yet he's still bummin' around ya. Why're ya even givin' him the time a night still after he spent yer whole childhood abusin' ya?

...its complicated... ...and he wasnt abusing me... ...we were just two kids who didnt know what we were doing and ended up hurting each other...

He manipulated ya, kept ya isolated fer sweeps, constantly put ya down an' made ya feel helpless an' worthless, an' then threatened ta off himself if ya didn't stay. He. Abused. You. Y'ain't gotta make excuses fer him. He's an abuser.

...kamava s-said the s-same thing...

Exactly. So why're ya still entertainin' him? 'Specially after he was stalkin' ya last sweep?

...that was the other one... ...the one ive been s-seeing is more mature and rational... and he goes out of his way to never hurt or be a threat to me... ...he always makes s-sure i have complete control and make the final decisions...

Uh huh. An' y'all believe him?

...yes... ...i cant trust the other half of him... and i know he s-still hates me for leaving him... but the good half of him is completely trustworthy and reliable...

I'll believe it when I see it. I'd say I don't trust him far as I can throw him, but seein' as he's a shrimp, I bet I could chuck him pretty dang far. If he starts givin' ya trouble again--

...no... corali... ...youve done enough trying to hurt people on my behalf...

Yeah, but he ain't fleet, so I ain't in any danger. ... He ain't fleet, right?

...no... but that doesnt matter... ...i dont want you... or danny... or anyone else getting involved... ...just trust me...

I do trust y'all. it's him I don't trust. Ya sure ya can handle him if he decides ta fuck around? Y'ain't immune ta mental bullshit like I am. If he decides ta voodoo yer brain, can ya defend yerself?

...

That silence ain't assurin'. I ain't telling ya ta never ever see him again if yer sure about this. Just. If shit goes sideways, let one a us know the second it does.

... ...okay...

Ya promise?

...i promise...

Good. I love ya. <>

...i love you too... <>

[justsomeoneintoomanyfandoms]

hihihi could i get a demon slayer matchupppppo, i go by she/her btw:))))))))

I have reddish brown wavy thick hair and brown eyes i usually leave my hair down but i sometimes put it in braids or pigtails , im 5'1, and have a pear body type im a female and bisexual (male preference)

My hobbies are likeee, working out, playing electric guitar, kickboxing, buying dumb shit that i dont need, baking(especially for loved ones)and i have a few other hobbies

For my personality im an istp and an aquarius if those count for anything, its hard for me to describe my own personality but some people dont get my sense of humor often and i come off as mean. Another thing that makes me come off as rude or mean is my social anxiety in public so i dont say much and i have a resting bitch face not even on purpose. I dont consider myself mean, like i genuinely love making people happy and helping them with things but my social anxiety holds me back on trying to help people and complimenting them .I only have a small group of friends that i talk to but i love them so much. I can be antisocial sometimes because being social all the time drains me, . Though when im with my friends and im really energetic, impulsive, dramatic, opinionated, sarcastic and a little annoying and talk a lot n i always wanna do things+a risk taker i get myself in trouble a lot. I hate it when i go over to peoples houses and they js sit on their phone like wtf did i even come here for ??

Some things i love are animals,doing new things, flowers, nature, horror, the color pink, anything pretty really, motorcycles, pinterest, music(especially metal or rock), incense, smoothie bowls, my friends, plushies, dressing up, halloween,long walks and a lot of other thingsssssss

Some stuff i hate are cheaters, home wreckers, talking to new people, feeling nauseous from panic attacks, fatigue, and wasps.

People tend to see me as less emotional which is true sometimes but when i love i really love hard and i dont get with just anyone and it takes me a while to fall for someone and people don't expect it from me, im so different and emotional when i love somebody and i usually just end up being manipulated, and i dont give up on people easily i try my hardest to empathize with them and work it out.

Another toxic thing is i can be overprotective and possessive in relationships a bit😭

i love love gift giving and physical touch both giving and receiving and i like making my partner handmade gifts that take a lot of effort to show i care though i also like spending money on them

I find it cute when the person im with gets overly jealous but i would never purposely wanna make them feel that way, i know how it feels and they don't deserve that. I hate it when people make me jealous on purpose because they "like it". i love being pampered but ill never ask for it

the littlest thing a person i love would do for me makes me so happyyyyyyyy

(im sorry how fucking long this is whenever i start typing things i cant stop)

Hi! Thank you for your request! Sorry it took so long. I hope you like your matchup!

In Demon Slayer, I match you with...

Tanjiro is the best person for you to be around with your social anxiety. He’s a nice calm person and knows how to make people feel at ease.

Very good with physical touch as well. He’ll happily give you as many hugs as you want. I see Tanjiro as someone who likes physical affection as well so it’s a win-win for him.

Will get rid of wasps for you. He travels in nature a lot so he’s used to getting rid of bugs and assorted insects and feels that it’s the least he can do for you.

Please work out with him. Tanjiro’s shockingly strong and will always encourage you to do your best so you’ll get a good workout.

No need to worry about Tanjiro betraying your trust by doing anything like cheating. The thought has never even crossed his mind. He loves with his whole heart and would rather fight every demon at once than purposefully hurt those he cares about.

[mikasa-imadebiscults]

i accidentally submitted the first one in the middle of writing it😟😟but can i please get a jjk and demon slayer matchup if thats too much just jjk, btw i go by she/her<333333

I have reddish brown wavy thick hair and brown eyes i usually leave my hair down but i sometimes put it in braids or pigtails , im 5'1, and have a pear body type im a female and bisexual (male preference)

My hobbies are likeee, working out, playing electric guitar, kickboxing, buying dumb shit that i dont need, baking(especially for loved ones)and i have a few other hobbies

For my personality im an istp and an aquarius if those count for anything, its hard for me to describe my own personality but some people dont get my sense of humor often and i come off as mean. Another thing that makes me come off as rude or mean is my social anxiety in public so i dont say much and i have a resting bitch face not even on purpose. I dont consider myself mean, like i genuinely love making people happy and helping them with things but my social anxiety holds me back on trying to help people and complimenting them .I only have a small group of friends that i talk to but i love them so much. I can be antisocial sometimes because being social all the time drains me, . Though when im with my friends and im really energetic, impulsive, dramatic, opinionated, sarcastic and a little annoying and talk a lot n i always wanna do things+a risk taker i get myself in trouble a lot. I hate it when i go over to peoples houses and they js sit on their phone like wtf did i even come here for ??

Some things i love are animals,doing new things, flowers, nature, horror, the color pink, anything pretty really, motorcycles, pinterest, music(especially metal or rock), incense, smoothie bowls, my friends, plushies, dressing up, halloween,long walks and a lot of other thingsssssss

Some stuff i hate are cheaters, home wreckers, talking to new people, feeling nauseous from panic attacks, fatigue, and wasps.

People tend to see me as less emotional which is true sometimes but when i love i really love hard and i dont get with just anyone and it takes me a while to fall for someone and people don't expect it from me, im so different and emotional when i love somebody and i usually just end up being manipulated, and i dont give up on people easily i try my hardest to empathize with them and work it out.

Another toxic thing is i can be overprotective and possessive in relationships a bit😭

i love love gift giving and physical touch both giving and receiving and i like making my partner handmade gifts that take a lot of effort to show i care though i also like spending money on them

I find it cute when the person im with gets overly jealous but i would never purposely wanna make them feel that way, i know how it feels and they don't deserve that. I hate it when people make me jealous on purpose because they "like it". i love being pampered but ill never ask for it

the littlest thing a person i love would do for me makes me so happyyyyyyyy

(im sorry how fucking long this is whenever i start typing things i cant stop)

(HELLO, I’M SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG TO COMPLETE. PROCRASTINATION WAS ON MY ASS!! I hope you enjoy this!)

I match you with..

Gojo Satoru

- When he first meets you he’s the one that made the first move.

- Because Gojo is Gojo, he’ll tease you about your fear of wasps. You’ll be walking with him outside and he’ll suddenly be like “OH THERE’S A WASP-”

- He likes your homemade gifts and keeps every last one of them. He always has the biggest smile on his face whenever you give him anything.

- Speaking of gifts, he loves to gift you small things like flowers, your favorite snacks, etc.

- He pampered you before, but when he found out that you love being pampered he’ll spoil you more often.

- If you get sarcastic with him he’ll do the same, sticking his tongue out whenever you give him a jokingly mad glare.

- When he walks by you he likes to flick you on the forehead then smile at you.

- When the two of you are walking he almost always has an arm around you.

- On Halloween (or more like the month of October) he loves to try and scare you out of nowhere.

- He likes to listen to you play the instruments you love, always cheers you on.

- Believes that your protective side is adorable and will most definitely tease you.

Kyojuro Rengoku

- When you’re first talking to him, he figures out quickly that you don’t really like talking to new people so he always makes sure you’re comfortable.

- He admires that you don’t give up on others easily and that you love to make others happy. He tries to help you with your social anxiety the best he can. If you’re feeling anxious he’ll grab your hand and will squeeze it firmly.

- Whenever you’re feeling nauseous from panic attacks he’ll be there to comfort you. He would get you a cold drink and do whatever you want him to do.

- He thinks that your sense of humor is unique and encourages you to continue making people laugh.

- He absolutely loves your homemade gifts, he thinks it’s very very thoughtful of you to take the time to make something handmade.

- Whenever you two are out in a restaurant he always pulls out your chair for you with a smile on his face.

- He helps you stay motivated to work out and gives you some tips to help some of the soreness.

- He loves to pull you into his chest while you’re cuddling with him.

- When it’s a day off for the both of you, you two will bake together. He always insists on helping you clean afterwards.

Masterlist

[winderlylandchime]

1/2We are officially on 3x13! He legit ran into the house, sat on the couch and like tapped it and didnt let me do anything else before.

‘Look at Brian all dramatic and sexy. OH LOOK AT BOTH OF THEM ALL DRAMATIC AND SEXY. Oh shit the cop didnt show? I forgot about that. Of course he looked hot Brian. It’s Justin’ ‘WHO THE FUCK IS KNOCKING ALL THE DAMN TIME AT HIS PLACE? (hunter shows up) ITS MY BOY HUNTER! HES ALIV- A CONDOM?! Hunter…i am both impressed and traumatized. (And justin showed up) aw they canceled gay as blaz- thats brians shirt! OH WAIT TILL HUNTER FINDS OUT THEY ARE MARRIED IN MY HEART’ the best scene of the episode is now up *starts hysterically laughing and rewinds it 2 times* ‘HE FUCKED A MURDERED!! MHM HE HAS A BOYFRIEND! OH HE SAID YEAH! *pauses tv* HE SAID YEAH! HE FUCKING SAID YEAH! I know season 1 Brian is sick to his stomach somewhere out there. BUT ME? I AM HAPPY AS EVER! HE HAS A BOYFRIEND! (brian kinda defends hunter or whatever) i fuck with this duo! They could have weird uncle/nephew potential…..if hunter just stops trying to fuck Brian.’ That scene between Em/Ted is up where they’re having sex ‘oh no. Ted no. Stop. TED, Emmett baby, YOU NEED TO RUN! I feel bad cause i like Ted but damn it Em RUN, i think there’s no saving him. TED STOP! Oh Emmett is breaking my heart, i cant watch this. ted is killing me.’ ‘HI BRIAN! GIVING A USED CONDOM TO A COP IS A DIFFERENT LEVEL OF ICONIC. I love this guy *points to the screen* i love you. *randomly stops ep on Brian and just stares at him for a minute* yeah’ *continues the ep* ‘THEY WERE PARTNERS? Of course they were. I fucking hate cops. Can we get rid of them in this show? Isnt it enough theyre already out there *points to window* ‘fuck, justin is in trouble..THATS RIGHT HIM AND BRI BRI WERE BOYFRIENDS BEFORE! he kinda did fuck the boss, didnt he? Good for you, Blondie! (Justin says that if its any consolation he was doing a kick ass job) *stops tv and starts laughing and literally falls back in the couch with his feet up in the air and kicks them* yes, you were doing a kick ass job! APOLOGIZE? Bitch, fuck you and your apology.’ Scene with Mel/Linds/Mikey comes on and all he says is ‘this is so fucking weird…and dumb’ Mikey asks Em when hes gonna apologize to Mel: ‘this is a little fucked up. I mean yeah, it was rude but she also should apologize to him because she has no fucking right to say that to him…*he then goes silent for a really long time*…you know who would’ve appreciated Em calling her a cunt? Brian. He’d laugh.’ ‘Oh Emy. No don’t defend Ted! No no no, you need to save yourself please baby boy! I love you too much to let you go like this!’ ‘BRIAN AND JUSTIN! THEYRE WALKING! Why arent they holding hands? Rude. Exactly Blondie, Bri Bri is right! Your education is important and it’s your ticket out of here! Okay, so you dont care about money but do you care about a house? Food? Health insurance? Exactly, so listen to my boy Bri Bri, and go there and apologize cause sometimes you gotta convince stupid people that they won. And finish your school cause that’s how you go places in lif- *looks at me in absolute horror* oh my god, i sound like dad. I sound like mom AND dad. OH FUCKING SHIT ON A STICK WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED? I mean brian is absolutely right but i dont wanna sound old like that so *whispers softly* fuck school’ ‘THE COP DID IT! Carl stop disappointing me! I kinda had some faith in you and then you ruined it!’ ‘BRIAN WHY ARE YOU BACK AT THE BAR? YOURE GONNA GET YOURSELF KILLED! HEY! BRIAN IS MORE THAN AN ASSHOLE. He is also pretty! shit he is not holding back, going for the kill with the photo. He actually cares a lot about this. BRIAN DO NOT GIVE HIM YOUR NAME. HAVE YOU NEVER SEEN AN EPISODE OF LITERALLY ANY CRIME SHOW?! *looks at me worried* if he gets hurt…no wait, if ANYTHING happens to Brian, i will burn everything to the ground! He has been through enough! *head in his hands at this point* Bri..Baby..Brian… why are you telling him all this..damn, i forgot about the Trump wannabe. *points to tv angrily* HEY! What did i just say? Get your hands off my Bri Bri! *looks at me angrily* NOTHING better happen to him. Not now. Not later. Got it?’

OH MY GOODNESS DEAR SWEET ANON!

They could have weird uncle/nephew potential…..if hunter just stops trying to fuck Brian <- wait until brother (and Hunter) finds out Hunter is straight! I do love the Brian / Hunter dynamic so much. So many iconic lines come out from it. Including THEE SCENE with “you fucked a murderer.”

Brian would appreciate Em calling Mel a cunt. He really would.

Dyingggg over your brother turning into your parents. It comes for us all at some point. I open my mouth and my mother comes out. It’s frightening.

How sweet that your brother is so worried for Brian… but he’s the main character, nothing bad happens to him beyond cancer (with a 99% survival rate) and a broken bone and s5.

[away-ward]

Nightfall headcanon! Do you know/believe in MBTI personality types? I do, but not to a T. If you do, what do you think willemmy's mbti would be? I feel like em would be INTP/INFP, and will would be ENFJ/ENFP. Like theyre mostly the complete opposite, but because they are both very curious people, they always aim for more, better, higher. One knowledge or trouble is not enough for people like them, they need to be in constant adventure. I think it suits them so much because even when they werent shown to be adventurous (action-wise) given the circumstances, when they do, it was always full of adrenaline. Not to mention, willemmy was CRAZY! They were literally going through so much shit, plus all those mind games in blackchurch from everyone, and they came out ok, and be like "yeah fun". I cannot imagine kaibanks having the same reaction with them honestly, lmaooo! Like would kaibanks have fun? Yea maybe, but would they be crackheads about it like willemmy? Nah. Even michaelrika would be crying over each other honestly. And damonwinter would be more protective and doting of each other. Idk, theres something crazy about willemmy that scratches a very specific part of my brain. Like they literally are THAT couple in the series thats ACTUALLY fucking unhinged. The other three are unhinged too, but were they on willemmy's level? No. Like if you noticed, Nightfall is considered boring to many, but thats the thing, if you read in a different pov, the story was unhinged from the start until the end. One trouble after another. It's a constant thing, not like Corrupt, Hideaway or Kill Switch where the troubles are two or three at most, and thats why Nightfall "Little Trouble" is just! So! Willemmy!

Unpopular opinion, readers when they enter Nightfall, are already so desentisized with unhinge things because of the past 3.5 books that they dont realised the more extreme and constant high stakes of Nightfall. For me, this element was what made dynamic good too, because they really like to cause trouble everywhere 🤣 for themselves, for each other and literally for everyone. No wonder their family wanna jump kick them (fondly) sometimes ahaha! I remember Michael being frustrated at Emmy during the chase and run with Martin at the end of the book because she took the time to daydream 😭🤣 and kai being frustrated with will too 🤣 and who fit in with willemmy well from the start again? Damon! Exactly, hahaha! And thats why i'll always think willemmy's the most unhinged, because all the characters have to think about their morals yada yada for years, but willemmy was like huh? That was only ONE trouble though? No big deal 😭☠️🤣 they onky took years to find courage for the other but whenit comes to chaos? No one had to instigate anything 🤣😂 ahahhaha the more i think about it, the funnier it gets. It's even funnier when emmy thought nothing abiut her fits in with them, when she LITERALLY was a little shit too (fondly) like the rest of her current family 🥹 Like Willemmy's the couples that made people like kai wanna choke them to death (lovingly ofc), michael want to bonk their sometimes, and damon wants to jump in the truck with, ahahaha. Little trouble really suits Emory so much because of this. When PD wrote about if Will didnt find trouble, trouble will find him 😂 No truer thoughts have been spoken!

Back to willemmy's MBTIs, Willemmy's minds and hearts are always churning too, for more and better things. Because of their N type function, they got each other in a more sincerely deep and complex relationship than others because casual or shallow things dont work for them in a long run. Like the things they talk about, their hobbies, passion, feelings about everything is deeper than just the surface, and they really need someone to share these kind of personality with. It's not because they were trying to be different either, they were just naturally curious people with big thirst and interest in mysteries or the nature of things. It's because their need to be and do more is like top priority. So people either dont bother to speak more to them because theyre not as interested as them in certain topics, they assume they cant handle it because of their introverted/extroverted qualities, or are just intimidated to talk them about certain things because theyre smart people or smth like that. These MBTIs can usually only genuinely connect and build a long fulfilling lasting relationship with others with the same function of them (N type) and I wasnt surprised at all when willemmy never found any deep curious connection with others even if they might have friends and families surrounding them for so long. This doesnt mean they felt unloved or anything, but rather, in things that they were very invested in (which are many), they might feel very lonely because they have no one who they can communicate with in super complex manner. The horsemen and cowgirls are friends and fanily with will, but he cant always nerd or geek out about everything that he likes, hates or wtf, to them because they might think he wasnt able to handle it, or because they cant keep up with the way he works out his feelings, logic and interests in general. Will is like thos people who's fucking deranged about something but his friends response to say, godzilla will be "haha, that was fun" and he'll be like? JUST fun? Why? Like he literally ate up challenges and curiosity like snacks yeah, and a lot of his conversation with his friends so far in the books were very surface level things even though he mentioned many times he craves for something more complex than that. Rather than putting a blame to anyone about how he feels, or the way others treated it, i think it's more accurate to say that he just needs to find someone who can fulfill this needs, outside of his friendship with his friends. Because what he differs from his friends or personality wasnt just the way they and he percieve each other, but rather a very personal need that he never really realised he needed, until he met emmy and took all those years in prison and after to sort what kind of relationship and person he want to be with to feel fulfilled in life. So then comes Emory Scott. Unhinged and curious, likes to argue, just as prideful, smart, creative, confident in her abilities, loyal and everything else that he loves about the her world and want to actively be apart of. Whatever thing that emmy lacks when it comes to processing complicated feelings, will balanced it. Whatever will lacked with critical thinking, emmy made up for it. They challenged each other and make each other feel so fulfilled and happy. (Imma cry for willemmy as i write this). Em was more lax in her work too, even she plans things, if she felt or thought she couldnt continue it, she just stops in the midst of some plans, and on the opposite, will was a bit random with his life, but when he got a plan, he really sticks to it. Willemmy is the most Perfect for each other. The end. Lmao.

Edited for grammar, spelling and word choice; but also re-reading the ask made me unbelievably happy! Thanks to the anon that sent it in, if you're still around!

I used to be really into MBTI types, and I think they’re a great place to start when trying to understand a character*. But I haven’t thought about it in years and haven’t considered what their types would be. I used to take online test and answer as I think the characters would and then check a few of the neighboring types to see if any fit really well. I might still do that now...

I feel like em would be INTP/INFP, and will would be ENFJ/ENFP. Like theyre mostly the complete opposite, but because they are both very curious people, they always aim for more, better, higher.

I agree that Em would be more on the I-T side and Will E-F, but the other functions in the stack are hard to figure out.

However, you’ve got me thinking! Em is so incredibly curious. With people who have such serve trauma, it’s impossible to tell what traits are natural to them and what traits they developed to survive. I wonder if Em would have always been as logical and hard if she didn’t need to quickly develop those traits to combat Martin.

Would she lean more towards playful, as we kind of see her behave at the Cove on Homecoming, or even in Blackchurch at times?

Or was that just those circumstance that allowed her to let go for a short time, and she would have always developed this tendency towards logic over emotions?

It’s hard to tell, because she’s so jealous over the other kid’s freedom, but at the same time, she attributes her desire to stand out in areas like band, swim, and academics as just apart of who she is without outside influence of Martin and his abuse. She’s competitive by nature, and a lot of time, competitive people fall within the Thinking function.

they got each other in a more sincerely deep and complex relationship than others because casual or shallow things dont work for them in a long run. Like the things they talk about, their hobbies, passion, feelings about everything is deeper than just the surface, and they really need someone to share these kind of personality with. It's not because they were trying to be different either, they were just naturally curious people with big thirst and interest in mysteries or the nature of things.

Will and Em compliment each other really well, as you pointed out! On the surface, they seem like the opposites attract trope, but in they’re not really opposites. They’re nerds on different ends of the spectrum.

For example, I spent some time thinking about their love of movies. I didn’t catch it my first few times reading, but Will’s family owns the theater. At first, I thought Will just saw her go in, followed her, and that’s how he knew about Godzilla. He also knows that she likes movies, so he could have been staking out one of her favorite haunts. But what if he was already there, in the projection room?

When he takes her to the theater, he calls someone to open the open the doors for him. At first, I thought “Will’s connected. This is just a guy he knows.” But then I realized he says his parents took away his keys.

Because the Grayson’s own the theater. (admittedly a head canon, but still it works so well!)

Which seems like such a random thing for them to own. Later in NF, he says that his mother made him sit with her through a Doris Day marathon. Like…I love my mom, but I wouldn’t sit with her through an entire marathon of Doris Day. Which leads me to believe...the Grayson’s love movies. Or at least his mom does (which also new head canon:…maybe his dad bought his mom the movie theater because she loves movies and it was gift. And maybe Will loves monster movies so that’s why they have monster movie marathons during October…like this family is so ‘we love each other and we love this town so everyone benefits’. Now I think the Grayson's are adorable.).

When Emory is sprouting off facts about 80s action movies, Will isn’t a silent onlooker, in awe of her knowledge. He actively participates in that conversation.

Rather than putting a blame to anyone about how he feels, or the way others treated it, i think it's more accurate to say that he just needs to find someone who can fulfill this needs, outside of his friendship with his friends.

Yeah, maybe Emory geeks out over old stuff, antiques and architecture, or even movies and books. But Will has his stuff that geeks out over too. Like really geeks out – rambles on and on, has done 2am research, can drop random trivia, etc. Like you said, he’s just not surrounded by people who get it, so he keeps it to himself.

Here's a list of things I think Will would geek out over:

Theme/adventure parks. Will is the type to have a rollercoaster bucket list. He’d want to take a summer to drive the country and hit as many as he could.

Exploring and abandoned places. Especially if they're rumored to be haunted. He loves mysteries and mayhem.

He loves traditions. His being able to tell the Reverie Cross story from memory speaks to how much he studied it. I doubt any of the boys wanted to listen to him go on and on about it after a while but he was so invested in the town lore. He started a new tradition in Fire Night, and it seemed like he was very enthused and serious about visiting Edward's grave.

Which brings me to the next thing: He loves Thunder Bay. He probably knows that town history forwards and back. When Em goes on about a specific architecture design and its history and why it was used and why it should be preserved, Will listens intently and hypes her up, not only because she’s his girl, but because this is so interesting. He is genuinely interested in what she has to say, even when she's rambling.

Emory Sophia Scott 'nuff said on that.

I don’t think anyone in the group geeks out over this kind of stuff like the two of them. I can definitely see how the stuff that Will gets excited over being deemed ‘immature’ by Michael and Kai. Like you said, it doesn’t mean they don’t love him, just that they’re not getting that side of him. I always thought the way Michael indulged Will in Corrupt was very telling of their bond. While Kai said ‘no’ immediately because he understood the repercussion, legally but mainly emotionally for Will, Michael knew that it was something he needed. And when Rika asked, he said Will “loves the girl who built it.” Not ‘loved’ not ‘had a crush.’ Loves. They boys do a lot to understand each other, but they’re not at all the same.

Will and Em are curious and eager to learn and uncover mysteries. They don’t want to stay in the same place for too long. They don’t let the fear of ‘trouble’ stop them from discovering new things. Em went with her gut feeling to discover the Carfax room. Will found Coldfield on his own because of the mystery and because it served a purpose. Meanwhile, Kai only wanted at The Pope when he had a reason for it. Michael found St. Killain’s and stayed there forever, literally making it his home.

These two little history nerds, action movie buffs, explorers and adventurers would never stop moving. At least not for long. Will traveled the world before going to Blackchruch because he craves new experiences, and he was hoping something would spark an interest for him. And the second he gets Emory in a safe place, his first thought is “Do you wanna travel and see things? Where do you wanna go? Some place old? Some place wild? Everywhere? Do you wanna go everywhere???? ‘Cause I wanna take you everywhere.”

They’re so cute. And crazy. Probably the most eager to explore anything, followed by Damon (and Alex. I think fire night or the epilogue specifically says she is the ‘adventurer’ but whatever 😒 Is there anything Alex isn't, according to PD?). Emmy does fit in with the group as a whole, but she had to accept that side of herself first and stop judging other people for ‘having fun.’

These two balance each other so well! I will never stop loving that about them.

already so desentisized with unhinge things because of the past 3.5 books that they dont realised the more extreme and constant high stakes of Nightfall.

PD tends to use the same devices over again in this series, just with new faces and names. It’s all the same but different. The things that were ‘unhinged’ in NF were in the other books too, it was just slightly altered. So there really wasn’t anything new in terms of the couples interactions and they dynamics at play. Even if it was posed as different, it wasn’t really. I can understand why people felt tired/bored of that, even if they couldn't identify why exactly it felt that way.

NF was unique because there was no down time between major events. There also was no build-up (if you're like me and read NF without reading Conclave first). We were dropped straight in the middle of the plot; Will’s been MIA for over a year, we know practically nothing about Emory, and we have a completely new cast. It's a closed location, forced proximity, and dubious characters and the action never stops. The Blackchurch timeline is like 5 days. And it did raise the stakes. With the others, at least by the 50% mark, we knew basically who the our heroes were going to be in the end. NF did leave Aydin up in the air until the last second. I don't have positive feelings for Evans as the last antagonist, or Aydin at all, so the stakes fell flat for me at the end.

My main issue with NF has always been we traded characters who we were eager to see how they interacted with Will and especially Emory, with characters we don’t know and therefore didn't care about at first. I can’t tell you how much more I want to know how Emory would interact with the rest of the cast in normal circumstances. Not when people are angry, not when they’re preparing for a wedding, just…like the rest of the books, I wanted everyday stuff and I never got it. And unlike a lot of the fandom, I never came to care about Aydin, Micah, or Rory. Maybe I would have if we had more time, but I felt exhausted by the whole thing.

And thats why i'll always think willemmy's the most unhinged, because all the characters have to think about their morals yada yada for years, but willemmy was like huh? That was only ONE trouble though? No big deal

I mean, I definitely feel that of all the couples, Willemmy fit together the most? The things that kept them apart were out of their control, but when they are around each other, there's a clear connection. They can overcome anything if they're working together. Sometimes if feels like the other couples, especially Michael and Rika, work against each other, or look for ways to undermine or hide things from each other. I never got the impression that Willemmy would do that after they were married.

Little trouble really suits Emory so much because of this. When PD wrote about if Will didnt find trouble, trouble will find him

I love this! Like so much. Trouble will find him❤️

Thanks so much for this ask! It was a lot of fun to respond to!!!

-KO

*I specifically say character because I don’t encourage trying to type real people unless you have psychology training, but typing a character is harmless.

[safyresky]

Bernack! Fusion Lawyer

A late night treat for u all that I promised AGES ago, please enjoy the most unhinged instalment of Fusion AU: Bernack (have yet to think of a decent name for them u just cannot mix Jack/Bernard's names it just does not work. Jernard? BACK?!?!?!? BARACK? OBAMA?!?!?!?!!?!?!?), Fusion Lawyer.

I have barely edited these notes. I have only made them legible (3am Dani has bad spelling which is funny bc it's already atrocious with how fast I type) and I am NOT joking about the time this was originally written at:

Please note that these are like BARE BONES ideas. LORD KNOWS (now that I have reread it) if this is still the situation I'd have fucking bernACK appear in, but A TREAT FOR U ALL ANYWAY. I HOPE.

AHEM. Let's begin.

It starts with a dare to Jacqueline, with love, ur horrible friend Charlie

they're chatting about some odd and strange magical things, and Charlie cracks a joke about Leprechauns and gold

to which Jacqueline replies "dude. that's legit. And you know gnomes? garden gnomes? yeah they're accurate to size you see in stores and they constantly throw hands with the leprechauns about who owns the gold

Charlie is like. ur fucking me

Jacqueline's like I am NOT! I will even bring you over and SHOW U

Charlie's like BET!

And Jacqueline goes AIGHT CHOOSE A DAY

Anyway Charlie ends up being unavailable but he has activated his pal's trap card and Jacqueline, of course, hunts down Elle

"hey dude," she says, once she finds Elle. "wanna go stake out some gnomes and leprechauns so I can win a bet against Charlie?"

And Elle is like "It's March. OF FUCKING COURSE I DO. Nothing's happening round these parts rn let's fucking GO BESTIE

So off they fuck!

And after a very strange series of events, Elline is around, and she is fucking RUNNING from the leprechaun authorities bc they think she is stealing the gold

She fails and is captured by them

They think she is a gnome spy

Elline is like "I'm really not? I'm a sprelf, and I'm just tryin to prove a point to my horrible friend Charlie who constantly makes silly challenge bets with me and they end up like this

which is funny bc we're always like "wow our legends need to stop having silly contests that end with trouble"

"I'm half hypocrite on the sprite side"

ANYWAY

Elline is like really I'm not a spy. not a gnome spy. i swear. i dont even want the gold. i get paid v well and have so much pirate treasure it's fine honest

and the leprechauns are like THEN WHY ARE YA COMING OVER FROM THE GNOME FRONTIER?!@?!?!

GUILTY UNTIL PROVEN INNOCENT, they say, and LOCK ELLINE UP IN THE JAIL. TM.

Elline is like.

This is a goddamn bitch of an unsatisfactory situation dot jpeg

MEANWHILE, AT THE POLE...

Charlie runs into B, who's like, hey, have you seen Elle?

And Charlie's like maybe! I think she's out with Jacqueline. See, Jacquie and I were gonna do a thing, but I had another thing, but I finished the thing early and was going to call Jacqueline out on the gnome and leprechaun thing, but she's not around at all

and nor is Elle! So I'm guessing she took Elle with her instead!

Bernard, knowing full well how those two magibeans be: oh FUCK

Prior to this, Charlie ran into Jack who was like hey junior. you seen Jacqueline around

and he said the same thing to Jack!

Jack, also knowing full well how those two magibeans be: OH FUCK

are they talking about elle/jacquie or the gnomes/leprachauns? we'll never know (it's the latter but this works for the former too I am realizing)

SO. JACK AND BERNARD KNOW ALL ABOUT THE NONSENSE AND ARE LIKE AH SHIT

BOTH OF THEM CONTACT ELLINE (u know. telepathy/magical legend/legate link) LIKE "WHY THE FUCK DID YOU GO CANVAS THE GNOMES AND LEPRECHAUNS ????

And Elline is like I HAD A POINT TO PROVE

ANYWAY. I'M IN JAIL.

CAN YOU COME GET ME?

And so Jack and B go ALRIGHT GUESS WE'RE GOING TO BAIL OUR LOVED ONES OUT OF LEPRECHAUN JAIL

so off they fuck and go to post bail and the leprechauns go oh no no NO. THEY are getting a TRIAL. We can't let the gnomes think we don't know. They need to know. They need to know we know their TRICKS.

Jack and B are like OKAY FINE BUT WE DEMAND TO BE THERE

And the front desk leprechaun goes "oh NO you do NOT. closed court, only the plaintiff, defendant, lawyers, etc. no visitors. unless ur their lawyer which i KNOW ur not. so BYE."

Jack and B are FUMING

B: I'm head fucking ELF I know enough about magibean law to be a LAWYER.

Jack: I WENT TO LAW SCHOOL

B: you did-you-what? why?!

Jack: long story. got bored, needed to make the law work for me, went to law school.

so anyway. some kinda crazy discussion happens for sure that ends in ELLINE NEEDS A LAWYER

ELLINE. THE FUSION. NEEDS A LAWYER

WE BOTH HAVE THE KNOW HOW.

IF WE FUSED WE COULD LAWYER THE SHIT OUT OF THOSE GUYS AND GRAB ELLINE

They're like this is batshit insane. absolutely crazy

but you know, so is leprechaun court, and gnome court???? gods forbid

they have a brief discussion about concerns given that when jack fused with elle, they had to get separated by force courtesy of berline, v scaring and scarring, very jarring, do NOT want a repeat of that

but in the end they can put aside their differences/worries/concerns bc their loved ones are in TROUBLE.

so they do it. they fucking fuse.

Enter:

BERNACK! FUSION LAWYER

you know slannen the elf from ella enchanted? yeah. That's basically bernack

he appears, he looks SO normal. It's actually surprising.

he has a briefcase

he knows a LOT about LAWYER STUFF

he is READY TO KICK ASS IN THIS COURTROOM AND MARCHES THROUGH THE DOORS

they are the ULTIMATE lawyer

they have the boston accent

they shove over some leprechauns like IM WALKIN HERE

they got that DANK HETEROCHROMIA IN THE EYEBALLS!

they go BACK to the front desk, put their card down (which somehow they have an official business card???)

"I'm here to represent elline. it's non negotioable"

and BARGES into the courtroom

Elline is like. WHAT AM I SEEING. WHAT IS THIS

And Bernack is like this is me slash us getting your asses out of LEPRECHAUN jail. this was so stupid. why did you do this.

I HAD A POINT TO PROVE

Okay shut up, don't say ANYTHING. let me do the talking

Elline is like. I am concerned about this but also, intrigued

She like. does the thing where u zip ur lips and throw away the key

Bernack is like good choice. Also, keep an eye on me, if this goes south we'll need to pull a jackington

Elline (unzips lips) how would u like your death

Bernack: the less memes the better

Elline, the meme loving fuck: i make no promises (rezips lips, folds hands, sits and smiles)

Elline is basically ready to stab That Bitch at any given moment, but also, living for the chaos that is about to ensue

and chaos DOES ensue

the trial is stupid. it's rigged. bernack has to run loop holes around loop holes around loop holes. That's okay tho that's his specialty, loopholes and clauses

there is an ace attorney reference. multiple maybe even

this is SPARTA reference that ends with Elline kicking someone

U WANT THE TRUTH U CAN;T HANDLE THE TRUTH moment

but ANYWAY the trial is beyond frustrating because the leprechauns are STUBBORN and WANT to make a big move like showing the gnomes their spy apprehended, and so finally bernack is like I am AT my LIMIT and snaps their fingers or something and suddenly, fire!!

YEAH. BERNACK HAS FIRE POWER.

Of course, Bernack immediately thinks ARSON?????

He's perturbed but also. Intrigued. And also, burning the courtroom sounds great at this point it's been HOURS

And Elline thinks back, thrice as loud, ARSON! BURN IT DOWN! DO IT! LET'S BUST OUR ASSES OUT OF HERE. AHHHH

You'll never guess what they do

FIRE. That's what

And they trash the courthouse and book it

They win the case by default

Bernack's like TOLD YA I'D GET YOU OUT OF THERE as something explodes

Elline's like DON'T LOOK BACK AT THE EXPLOSION

Bernack's like COOL GUYS DONT LOOK BACK AT EXPLOSIONS as he pulls out shades and rushes away without looking behind him

I don't THINK they'd need to be forced apart. Pretty sure Jack and Bernard would be like "I've had enough of this guy" and just like. poof back to themselves

But not before giving Elline a piece of their mind

ELLINE YOU FUCKED UP ALL THE SHIT

SO DID YOU

BUT IT WAS AWESOME

YEAH IT WAS!

they high five and get iced cream or something.

idk man.

I feel like these are the most chaotic fusions that could exist. Chaotic in positive???? ways?????

BUT YEAH

Anyway back at the NP Elline kicks down the door to Charlie's room like GOT UR PROOF BUCKO, AND WE GOT TO DESTROY A COURTHOUSE!

And Charlie's like ): NOT because he was proven wrong but bc he did not get to destroy things with them ):

and that's the story of BERNACK! FUSION LAWYER!