#like i dunno i don't believe in assuming people are bad just because they picked an option i don't like

[stop-breaking-my-heart-dragonage]

Hey so you've posted a bit about replaying DA and I wanted to know if you have a canon run through

I do! I'm currently replaying through my canon run right now [with a few deviations here and there] because every time I finish a run, some time passes before I'm like, ".........I miss them." It makes doing an alternate run harder, too.

For DAO, I play as a rogue lady Tabris named Rosalie, or Rose. Dual-wielding ranger and dualist. Her most used party dynamic is Alistair/Morrigan/Zevran. She named the mabari Griffon after the tales of Grey Wardens and their griffons. Rose romanced Alistair, kept him a warden and made Anora queen. She considers Morrigan one of her closest friends until Morrigan reveals her true intentions for coming with them. I've written about that whole thing before. Honestly, as far as companions go, Rose becomes close friends with most of them... except Wynne, they tend to butt heads in a lot of ways.

Rose didn't want to become a warden and thinks most of their rules and secrets are bullshit. Duncan's excuse for not coming to help her and the other elven women Vaughan took is a driving force for her to defy that "we can't get involved" rule as much as she can during and post-blight. She sided with the mages in Kinloch and with their help saved Connor, made Bhelen king of Orzammar, and settled things between the Dalish and the werewolves peacefully by convincing Zathrian to end the curse. She executed Loghain at the Landsmeet since, y'know... he sold city elves, nearly including her father, to Tevinter slavers to fund his war so... in her eyes, he doesn't get to live after that.

This playthrough I did make a save to reject Morrigan's dark ritual to see what happens when the warden makes the ultimate sacrifice and it's the most unsatisfying ending. It's such a, "No no noooo we didn't deserve this! After everything we went through! Just for it to end like that??" hopeless feeling... which was then fixed when I went back and made my canon choice of begrudgingly accepting the deal [even though it mostly goes against Rose's character but I'm weak and selfish and want her and Alistair to live].

In DA2, I play as a male mage Hawke named Edgar, or Ed. Force mage and blood mage. His most used party dynamic is Carver/Merrill/Anders until Carver goes to the Grey Wardens, then it's Isabela/Merrill/Anders. He's mostly purple in personality, but occasionally dips into blue, and I can count the number of times he's gone red on one hand. He named his mabari Fleabag after Malcolm bought the pup from a traveling merchant who failed to mention he was flea ridden. Several baths later, the mabari was finally flea free but Ed decided he should never live it down and named him Fleabag.

Ed maxes out the friendships with everyone [yes, including Carver, Ed tries so damn hard with him] except Aveline, he maxes out her rivalry. They all side with him and the mages in the end. He romanced Anders. I once did a run where I romanced Fenris with Ed and even though I liked it, the whole playthrough felt wrong because romancing Anders is, like... a fundamental part of Ed's story now... Even though they break up in the end.

I've done all three options across different playthroughs when it comes to Anders; I've spared him, I've killed him, and I've told him to leave. My canon choice is to tell him to leave, and then let him join my party later after we've sided with the mages. It's hard to explain without writing a full essay, but Ed and Anders are pretty much life partners at this point. Even if it's no longer romantic because a huge amount of trust was broken, even if they never get back together in that regard, even if Anders will now be on the run for the rest of his life, whether or not Ed agrees with him [he does and he doesn't, it's complicated] like... Ed loves him and he'll always love him, y'know? He won't abandon him even when everyone tells him he should.....but then DAI happened uhhh

Finally for DAI, I play a lady mage Lavellan named Ashalle, or Ashlaen, or just Ash. She's a knight-enchanter who mostly does storm magic. I'd say DAI is the game where I have a pretty even party use that I rotate between; Cassandra/Varric/Vivienne, Solas/Sera/Blackwall, The Iron Bull/Dorian/Cole. She sides with the mages in Redcliffe and left Hawke in the fade [sorry Ed, and sorry Anders... and sorry Carver... and Varric]. When it came to picking a ruler for Orlais, she figured all options sucked but went with Celene and Briala. Ash drank from the well, and then disbanded the inquisition in Trespasser.

I dislike how DAI just kinda plops your inquisitor into existence with only a small paragraph explaining why they were at the conclave; I wish it had a DAO approach so that's what I did for my inquisitor. Before I start the DAI playthrough, I boot up DAO. Before she was Ashalle Lavellan, she was a circle mage named Ashlaen Surana who escaped with Jowan after he lied to her about being a blood mage. In the ten years pre-DAI, she lost Jowan. In her grief, joined the Dalish, changed her name, and eventually ended up at the conclave. It just adds a lot more meat and spice to the choices and interactions with companions and advisors since she keeps that part of her backstory a secret. After all, she helped a blood mage and then was accused of being one herself before fleeing; she doesn't want the inquisition to know that. All of her crafted staves are named after Jowan while her crafted robes are usually named after her conflicting identities and pieces of her past, too..... Oh, speaking of past, she romanced Cullen. Because of course.

With the context of all this, it becomes them reuniting after they may or may not have had a thing going on in the circle, but then she escaped and he believed she was actually a blood mage for ten years. Cullen sees her like "Ah. Yes. You. Whom I haven't met. Hope they're right about you. We've lost a lot of people to get you here. Glad you survived." when internally he's screaming "I know who you are, those tattoos fool me not! Why are you here?? To torment ME specifically??" Then there's Ash who takes a little longer to recognize him, and when she does, it solidifies that she needs to run after this because he knows who she is and why she fled, that's not good, she's not going back to the circle after all this is done.

But y'know... they work it out. Eventually.

That's my canon run through of all three games. I keep trying to talk myself into doing a full alternate canon run, but the only game I've successfully done a different route in is DAI with my male rogue Tristan Trevelyan whose backstory was that he's a pro-mage ex-templar. That was fun to see how different things play out, but I haven't managed it for the other two.

I'd like to play DAO as a more cutthroat warden who, unlike Rose, won't go out of their way to do kind things; they'll do what they deem necessary. I'd like to do a lady warrior Hawke run with Bethany as the surviving sibling, and I've tried before but every time I hit a point where I'm like ".....I miss Carver so much" and abandon the run. Like there's always something that makes me abandon the run. I almost abandoned Tristan's run, too, but somehow I pushed through and got invested. I dunno. One day I'll put on my big girl pants and just do it.

[solarpunkani]

"Oh no, someone's attracted to the aesthetics of my -punk movement but doesn't know the praxis and history behind it like I do--"

OK. Tell them. Make it a teaching moment. Everyone who's in your movement learned the background from somewhere at some point, maybe this is that point for that person. Give them a jumping off point that they can dive into later.

"Oh but I shouldn't be responsible for teaching baby -punks about the history and the how-tos and--"

OK. Then don't tell them. You don't have to be responsible for teaching people with a budding interest in your group the ins and outs and how-tos. That's fair and valid! It can be a lot of work. Someone else will handle it

"But I'm annoyed that they would try to claim to be part of/be interested in my community without knowing all the details that I know after being in it for months/years/decades, they're dumb, they're posers, they're--"

OK. Then don't engage with them, if it's that bad. Maybe someone else will come around and tell them the history, maybe they'll pick it up on their own, maybe they'll just enjoy the fashion elements for awhile.

"But they shouldn't claim to be part of the -punk community if they don't know the--"

I feel like we have a few options here. People can either talk to them, share the history, share the values, share the praxis. Or they can just chase off anyone who even thinks about dipping a toe in their community, and then wonder why it's dying off later down the line.

I dunno, maybe I'm too naive and patient or whatever. But if people are entering your -punk spaces without knowing The Rundown of what you feel they need to know, maybe being nice about it and informing people instead of immediately assuming stupidity and malicious intent could help you make a new friend. Even the loudest voices in a space had to learn from somewhere, and not everyone has the luxury of being in the space as the History was Happening--whether it's an age thing or a not being aware of the space thing. Or maybe I just don't see what the big deal is behind people hating people who like the aesthetic of something and don't know the behind the scenes history about it yet.

Because I believe in the word 'yet.' No one comes into this world knowing everything about everything, and we're all constantly learning new things. I'm not gonna degrade someone and call them a poser for not knowing what I know. Because if it were me, interested in a scene but getting chased out and called a poser? I wouldn't hit the books and study up, I'd go 'that fuckin sucks, those people sucked' and then avoid anyone and anything having to do with it.

So chase people off and call them posers if you want. But if your community starts dwindling, don't be fucking shocked.

[lollytea]

What were your thoughts on Hunter's role in the finale? I've seen some conflicting opinions and I'm wondering what your take is

In my opinion, everybody who got puppeted at the beginning of WAD deserved a little more of a role in the special (So Camila, Amity, Willow, Gus and Hunter). It feels like they were unfairly sidelined because of time constraints. Which is understandable. At its core, this is Luz, Eda and King's story.

However, if I had to pick one character that I believe deserved that spotlight in the finale, it would be Gus, not Hunter.

I know what you're asking tho. How do I feel about Hunter having absolutely no involvement in taking down Belos. And when I saw it for the first time I was like "Hm...I could've sworn he'd be here too." That's just what I assumed would happen. But he wasn't.

Lately I've been trying to view things from a "is this an objectively shitty writing decision or is it just not what I would have done?" angle.

I assumed Hunter's finale arc wasn't finished yet. But it turns out that it actually was. So looking back on the last two specials, yeah...[shrugs] I guess this wasn't a bad conclusion to his story.

The scene in Thanks to Them where Hunter gives his big fat Fuck You speech to Belos was intended to be the send-off of that relationship.

And then For the Future involves Hunter attempting to deal with his grief and helpless rage. He puts himself on the warpath for the sake of coping. However, the episode then goes on to emphasize that Hunter is a person who loves more than he hates. He's a character who's more prominently defined by care and protection than anger and revenge.

With that in mind, I guess his role in Watching and Dreaming executes that message just fine. He's now more concerned with taking care of his friends than killing Belos. He doesn't leave their side.

There's also been a noticeable shift in how Hunter has been used in action sequences. He hasn't engaged in offensive combat since Labyrinth Runners. For the most part, he's become the defense, who has everybody else's back during a fight. All of his most intense scenes since then have been driven by emotion and communication, rather than violence. I feel like it was a deliberate choice for the fight choreography, in order to steer Hunter away from the battleground, in both a physical sense and in order to rearrange your depiction of him in your head. And with the groundwork they laid down, it becomes less surprising that he didn't fight Belos head on.

And judging from his little moment in the dreamscape during WAD, there's nobody he trusts more than Luz to carry out the job.

So like. I dunno. I probably don't have the most well constructed opinion. People who are more passionate about Hunter might disagree and that's cool. But like yeah, just because I didn't know his arc was finished and presumed there was more to come, doesn't mean that the arc he had was bad. At least that's how I feel about it.

[anonymityisfunwriter]

New to tumblr, please bear with me😭🙏 I love Bucky x sunshine fics and read them religiously on ao3! Wondering if u could do one where Peter/sunshine are hanging out a lot bc he feels safe with her/looks up to her. Bucky is craving sunshine’s attention so he flirts with sunshine but she just doesn’t really pick up on the ques, and the team is teasing them bc they’re all assuming she understands. Bucky progressively flirts more obviously to try to get her to notice but it’s not working.

Hi! Welcome to Tumblr, friend!

Thank you so much, I'm glad you're enjoying them. So for the flirting ones, I definitely have a few like that already, I can link them here:

From Friends To This, Snow Day, The Compound Conspiracy, 5 + 1 (Flirting Edition) (especially that one, Bucky really lays the flirting on thick), if none of those are exactly what you had in mind, just let me know, I'm always open to more ideas!

BUT THAT PETER ONE. OKAY. OKAY. You're not the only one that's asked for more Sunshine + Peter interactions and that it so cute. Love it. Absolutely love it.

I'm hoping to put Peter in some more one-shots, but here's a little drabble for you. I hope you enjoy and thank you so much for the ask.

Advice

"Can I ask you for your advice?"

Peter's voice comes from the other side of the common room where he'd been working on homework. It was a common enough occurrence. Today, it was just you and Peter, but there were plenty of times that MJ and Ned also joined him.

You look around the room to find no one else besides you and Peter. You turn back to him pointing at yourself, "You're asking me?"

"Yeah."

"Er... I don't think I'm supposed to be giving advice. That's Steve and Sam territory."

"Nah," Peter disagrees. "I want to hear what you think. Besides if I ask them, Steve'll start calling me 'son' again, and Sam's still pretending I'm invisible."

"Again?" you sigh, shaking your head. Peter wordlessly nods. You dismissively wave your hand, "Don't worry about it, I'll talk to Sam."

"Wait, that wasn't what I needed your advice on! Please?"

"Oh.. sure!" you shrug.

"Well, I guess, I'm sorta having a hard time with the superhero thing. Sam told me that you've never, you know," Peter hesitates, tugging at his collar as an insinuation. "Killed anyone."

You frown, "Oh."

"I mean, I just - I wanted to know how you do it."

"How I don't kill people?"

"No - I mean - Sorta. Sam told me that you hold back a lot," Peter sheepishly explains. "And I guess, I sorta knew that already. I mean you could kill us all if you wanted to. Not that I thought you would do that or anything, but like even with bad guys. And you're just like so happy all the time!"

You take a moment to process Peter's rambling. Your mouth twists apologetically, "Pete, I won't lie to you, I don't think there was a question there."

"You seem decently happy with Mr. Bucky, not that I can really tell because he's always frowning at me. But you are. You're happy. You have a life. I just wanna know how you do it."

"You want to know how I have a life?"

"Is that a stupid question? It's a stupid question, isn't it?"

"No!" you assure Peter. "Of course not! I'm glad you came to talk to me, I'm very wisdomous."

"So?"

"Oh, right..." Your mouth twists as you think about Peter's question for a long moment. "I dunno, that was a choice that I made when I was thrown into this. I didn't want to be someone other people were scared of. I want to be good. I want to believe that people are good."

"Even when they're not?"

You chuckle, "I didn't say it was easy. I forget that sometimes too. That's why you surround yourself with good people. They'll remind you when you forget."

"That's really it?"

"And I listen to a lot of Taylor Swift."

Peter nods in agreement, "Already do that."

Grumpy Sunshine Series Grumpy Sunshine Drabbles

Reblogs and comments are always appreciated 💛

Taglist: @marianita195 @meli18gonzalez@ludicbouquetfromearth@matchat3a@famousbreadcherryblossomsstuff@valoraxx@blue786sworld@buckyandgeraltsupremacy@geminigengar@ansaturn@ecolle@lexhalstead3@ybflkmj@mediocre-daydreams@shanye1112@thegirlnextdoorssister@toomanyfanficsbruh@moonlightreader649@breathtaking-cynthia@mirikusashes@beans-and-toast@niyahcoca@katiechikin@elxvrr@antiheroxsblog@infamouslyclumsy@krissydclayton93 @buckysbarne

[some-pers0n]

So about that ask game you reblogged abt an hour ago

Opinions on The Spy TF2?

Ah, lemme think.

Favourite thing

I am in love with how in-game his disguise is just a mask with the class he's disguised as. It's so stupid and dumb and funny. In the lore it's probably just him being disguised as the character regularly without any mask, but it's still so funny. I also adore every gag of him ever where he's disguised as an object and has the object on that mask. It's priceless.

Least favourite thing

I do wish we got more information about him. I get his whole appeal is that he's this mysterious guy and all, but I do wish we got to explore his past a little. I think there's a lot of potential for James Bond type stuff there.

Favourite line

"26 years ago, I dropped a 'sex bomb' on your mother." I love it both for the comedy of it and also because UAGHHUAHHH HE'S TELLING SCOUT HE'S HIS FATHERRRR WAILING

brOTP

I think Sniper and Spy are really great friends. They get along quite well, despite their occasional squabbles. I don't think of them in a romantic sense, even if they are quite intimate and close. Good friends. I also really like Spy and Pyro. They're cute buds.

OTP

Hm, it's a toss up between Freedom Fries (Soldier/Spy), Practical Espionage (Spy/Engie), and Spoovy (Spy/Heavy). I also like Spy/Sniper in a romantic sense, but personally I prefer it platonic. Spy is a very shipable character.

nOTP

Well there's the obvious forbidden ship, which is a clear and obvious pick-me answer. Normal people should hate that ship. Uhhh,,other than that? I dunno.

Random headcanon

Utter coffee snob. He's pretentious and has like $50,000 dollars worth of equipment to make his prissy little mocha fraps.

Unpopular opinion

Spy isn't a jerk. Snobby and pretentious? Absolutely. I wouldn't say he's particularly rude though. No more rude and antagonistic than the others during their voice lines. In fact, canon material goes against this. He tries to organize a little bucket list thing before they all die. He spends what he believes to be his last few days alive helping Scout try and get a date with Miss Pauling. He is willing to do a suicide pact with Pauling so that they get out of being tortured to death. He sticks around with Scout after they're all fired to keep him and his mother afloat. Hell, he gives Scout closure when he seems to be on the verge of death. I think people assume French = jackass which means he's constantly insulting people and rude. No, he's not.

Song I associate with them

OUghhHH,, that's a hard one to think. Something Stupid by Frank Sinatra. I associate a lot of 1950s songs with him, and Frank Sinatra is perfectly romantic for a guy like him. I also think that him and Scout's Ma hooking up came around from him developing feelings for somebody he shouldn't have, for their own sake. He loved her dearly. Still does even after all these years. But, he can't commit. He doesn't want to settle down. He wants that honeymoon phase to last forever.

Favourite picture

Something about this picture is just really sweet to me. I think a lot of people forget about this comic and how Spy interacts with the boy, which makes me sad since he's...not that bad with him, ya know?

[insanityisdivine]

Get to Know Me and My Obsession with KISS 🎸

Thanks for the tag @starry-eyed-never-satisfied

1. Who is your favourite member?

Okay. Paul is my first love but sexy Ace is competing with him but god I have to say Paul.

2. Who is your least favourite member?

Everyone saying Mark. I know nothing bout him

3. Best album?

RARO ...I'm assuming studio albums and live albums don't count???

4. Worst album?

I didn't listen to their last two albums and have no intention to do so ATM

5. Favourite song?

THIS IS TOO HARD TO CHOOSE. Guess I gotta say Love Gun Though But I love C'mon and Love Me!

6. Say one nice thing about each member.

Paul- He's the STAR of KISS. I probably wouldn't have gotten into KISS if it weren't for him. Everything I adore and want to be

Gene- I wanna listen to him talk while we share milk and chocolate chip cookies together

Peter- I have a soft spot for him. I think he can be really sweet and cute

Ace- Sexy, trashy, baby girl, sexy girl in hooker boots. Wanna bend over and smack that ass. He and Paul are my bisexual fantasies. BUT SERIOUSLY, The first guitar player that made me go WOW. Never got the hype about lead guitarists before but then I was thinking of 80s rock and 80's rock solos never resonated with me. His solos are iconic, not just shredding/mindless noodling. As someone who never learned how to read music, I think it's amazing he influenced many to learn. I'd love to learn how to play. Not to be in a band but I've always wanted to play a guitar. Also, I'd love to hang out with him. He's funny and bright. I think there's softness to him and I'd like to believe (coming from a fan, of course) that he's a good person. He also reminds me of my ex early 90s era....so I guess I have a soft spot for him

Eric C- I wish I could meet him. If I had to pick one member I could meet it would be him because I know he'd be super sweet

Vinnie- talented songwriter and amazing voice. Gorgeous

Mark- He did his job on Animalize

Bruce- Super sweet. He was the cutie of the group during revenge era ngl. Paul had competition.

Eric S- Seems really funny. got a nice tight body. seems every KISS drummer has a nice bod.

Tommy- Loyal and hard working. I can see why KISS kept him. Honestly he'd the kind of guy you want in your group.

7. What do you dislike about each member?

Gene- Condescending. I can see he has some views on things that I'd butt heads with him on

Paul- Overly critical of others, may come across cold. He scares me. y'all see his posts for new years???? He can come across very hurtful in his choice of words

Peter- Bitter (in the past it seems) and tbh some of the shit I read and heard that unfortunately was allowed to slide (sometimes even passed off as "funny" stories). It's a sensitive topic for me.

Ace- like Peter, awful things said and done that cannot be solely blamed on addiction which I'm very glad he recovered from btw. I'm honestly glad I never put this man on a pedestal and it's not just because "he's human like the rest of us". lol I love him but I'm glad I've been exposed to the bad early on this obsession so I don't have any unrealistic ideas about ppl, you know? I think I need to sleep with him to sort out these feelings lol

Eric C- I don't know that much to comment and feels almost unfair because he was taken away from us much too soon

Vinnie- stop scamming people omg. the insanity and charging ppl for memberships and you haven't released shit???

Mark- don't know about him. can't comment

Bruce- Maybe too nice for his own good.

Eric S- I don't know. Should have created a sex tape with Gene

Tommy- Kinda weird seeing him try to mimic Ace's facial expressions. One thing to imitate solos and his space persona but his mannerisms? I dunno just weird to see someone mimic what Ace's face naturally does? Kissy pouty lips only work for Ace

8. How did you get into KISS?

years ago, just bombarded with their imagery and sound on TV shows

9. Have you been to a concert?

Their last show. Crushing, I know

10. Do you have any merch?

I have a shirt

11. Unique thing you have related to KISS?

None, sadly. Like I have nothing solid if that's what you mean. anything that may have in common? sure but feels too personal to share here

12. Who is/are your favourite lineup?

This is hard because early 90s KISS was TIGHT. but I'll always love the original 4, but sweet Foxy and Brucie is so precious

13. What's your favourite era?

FUCCKKK....see this is hard. I have a big soft spot for Dynasty/Unmasked but I also love DTK and HTH

14. What are your opinions on Tommy and Eric?

They did their job. If they hadn't stepped in I wouldn't have seen KISS final show and for that I am grateful. I enjoyed their participation.

15. A question you would ask the band if you could?

I'd ask if I could suck their dick. That's tough. What haven't they've been asked before? Honestly I got some questions for Ace that's been bugging me and I know I'd never get them answered unless I knew him personally and had a real heart-to-heart conversion. I dunno I can only go off from a fan's perspective about how that'll go

16. What other bands/artists are you into?

Led Zeppelin, Madonna, Kylie Minogue, Lady Gaga, Stromae, used to really like Adam Ant, The Sweet, OLP, Franz Ferdinand, Daft Punk. I listen to all kinds of genres and artists so I like what I like

17. Do you have a KISSona?

Don't have one. I'm assuming like a fursona? lol

18. Who are some of your favourite blogs?

@ladyshandioftheendless @elrohare @silverstarfoxx (thank you for tolerating all my pestering! never hesitate to reach out to me for more Ace goodies!) @notpaulsguitar @ohblackdiamond (though tbh I swear you have answered this lol) @space-frehley-22 @spacefoxy (resident eric carr connoisseur) @speckster (you have crazy ass edits) and same goes for @bangbangyou love your funny memes. the IP address as a response always gets me lol @starry-eyed-never-satisfied (you already did this but adding you here anyway fellow Paulie enjoyer!) There's many more I wish I could just mass tag KISS blogs lol. There are blogs that are no longer active but I am glad they are still around

19. If you could spend a day with one member who would it be?

Hard because I love Paul but he scares me. I think I'd need more than a day to get comfortable with him. I'd love to spend a day with Eric C or Bruce because they seem the nicest. Maybe I'd love to hang with Peter now. Gene, may be fun. He's a good talker. Though it be fun to get one-on-one time with Ace. I'd love a tour of all his tech and then we can compare and just geek out on technology.

20. How would you explain the band to someone who isn't familiar with KISS?

I don't know. Honestly the other people who answered this already gave greats explanations. So many pass judgment on them without giving them a chance. They're a one-of-a-kind experience. There will never be a band like them.

[j-ellyfish]

I know exactly what person you are talking about...they seem to think just because they put "ai art" in their tags it's going to help...like...no, because people reblogging might not know (I don't like starting drama, but I do think people should avoid the "art" of this person if they can) also they use the tag "digital art" in their posts, and that's so disrespectful to real digital artists who actually can draw and spend hours and even days on their art to share with the world...

And they even hide it at the very end of the tag list, like I can't help but assume they're trying to hide it and fool as many people as they can 😅

Yeah, I was almost fooled myself yesterday, thank God I was feeling too lazy to type the hetalia tags myself so I scrolled past the og tags and I noticed the "ai art" one. I felt so betrayed I needed to spread awareness 💀

I wish these people would bother channeling their efforts into actually learning to make art instead of "putting effort" (yeah some of these people think it takes skill and effort to type prompts, to the point of calling themselves artist ... Lmao, I do mess with AI every once in a while because I'm curious to see what atrocity it'd generate, and it takes absolutely 0 skills once you get the gist of it - which takes like, 15 mins at most) in something so detrimental and disrespectful to ART itself, and real artists.

Eugh, I am pretty sure I recognized the art style AI stole from a legit Hetalia fanartist (who was probably active in the 2010s, dunno their name but I remember their style) in one of that person's fake hetalia artworks. It's so enraging!

... If they are so creative to spend their time coming up with prompts and mental images of the fanart they wish existed, then they should be creative enough to actually pick up a pencil, traditional or digital, and start their journey to become real artists!

Please, learn to enjoy the process, learn to be proud of yourself for your improvements instead of letting disgusting thief AIs take from you the joys and challenges of being an artist.

I spent the last two days working on just the background of a drawing. Was it time-consuming? Yes. Was it challenging? Yes. But that's the point! Art is always a risk, it's always a challenge with yourself be it small or big, because a bad art day and the realization that there's room for improvement is always waiting for you, but the satisfaction of having literally created something that previously didn't exist, and it existing because you manually laid every stroke and chose every color and kept going by trial and error until it looked right... It is all so satisfying! Being able to say "this exists because I put my time, and efforts and eyes and hand and heart in it" ...

How can you trade this all with an empty window where you type stuff and a robotic thief steals right and left to give you what you had in mind?? An AI could NEVER deliver 100% the picture you have in your mind. Do you know who can? YOU!

I genuinely hope this AI ""Art"" hype will die down and rot in hell like N F * Ts did.

I do believe AI itself can be useful for artists, for instance to get references for very specific things that can be hard or time-consuming to find, or to study chromatic harmony (which is something AI admittedly does well), but it must be ethically sourced (artists could be able to upload their artworks if they wish, and they should get a royalty for anytime the AI uses their work as a base) and have some kind of anti-piracy feature. For instance, every generated picture might be kept in a hidden archive and whenever there's suspicion that someone used AI Art improperly (posting it as their own work, or worse making money out of it), the picture can be uploaded on this archive and see if it matches any picture that the AI previously generated.

I know it's delusional, but I truly hope we get to a point where this garbage gets properly regulated.

[csvent-2]

Since y'all like to hate on people just because they are different/think differently and/or don't even let people move on or forgive people for shit. It's whatever honestly because I personally don't care. I don't care that you people hate me I just don't like you assuming shit. My character Miuchi was bought from ElfenDr years ago and his ORIGINAL DESIGN had a Qipao + magatama earrings. I didn't 'pick asian and went wild with it'. I wanted to keep the original design elements. (✿✿ cont.)

I don't understand why making him a sex worker is a bad thing or dress in a more skimpier outfit when he works a bad thing. If you actually read his bio/info I made him CHINESE AND JAPANESE MIX. (I dunno why someone said Korean) Having a dark/sad backstory isn't a wrong thing either but ??? Ok. Anyways, saying that doing face claims isn't a thing you do for your OCs either? Having a comfort NSFW character who you relate to in some ways is a bad thing. ok. (✿✿ cont)

You guys focusing on a characters gender whom I personally use to discover myself/sexuality just doesn't sit right with me within the community. All about love and no boundaries and all yet if someone is expressing themselves not in the norm or differently y'all just say 'oh no it's too dark or problematic' for me labeling my own character or making them want to have kids. Sure okay go off sis. I don't care. (✿✿ cont.)

I don't support incest or pedophilia at all. In those 'receipts' if you READ I only commented that y'all go coocoo bananas when people want to do things differently in fiction. I understand people are affected by this and shouldn't see/engage but if this is in a COMMUNITY setting like CS groups, why block these people from wanting to be a part of a community if they aren't affecting anyone. This is what is upsetting to me personally. If it's personally affecting you please block. (✿✿ cont.)

And I at least know @/sus is reading this but you say that it wasn't a anon submission when it was. I didn't post your discord tag, TH user, Twitter whatever but since you hate me so much you were dying to throw my name around and say these things about me. You simply just messaged me without even letting me get a word in. You know how rude that is? Like thanks for even writing a message honestly because the mods of Foxtopi didn't even do that but yeah y'all spread shit about me to them as well.

It's insane how crazy y'all go and have all this things against me but don't think about the real people behind what you say. Like why does it affect you. Why does someone liking weird or gross things in fiction affect you. Honestly. Like I would understand if they made fan cams of like ACTUAL serial killers or actual criminals. But y'all draw the line at people liking taboo things. And mind you I don't like loli/shota or incest even in fiction, I block and move on. (✿✿ cont)

Why can't y'all just say 'oh I personally don't like that/this makes me uncomfortable ' and don't talk about that thing or something. You can still get along or be friends with them. But y'all just actively choose hate. How much pain do you have inside for you to do that to people. Especially within the community. This is how wars start because people can't get along. And I would like to believe some of us can be friends if you would get to know me but you guys don't want to (cont.)

You guys don't want to choose the hard way. Y'all just go 'ok pedo' or 'ok proship' like it actually means anything. Nobody is entitled to anyone's time ofc but I'm telling you now, from personal experience, it is so much better to just have a more open mind about things and want to learn more and let people be. You have no idea how much grief people like you have caused me. The longing of wanting to fit in but spiteful people like you excluding me and no matter what I did it was never enough.

All of this is probably going to go one ear out the other. I know and it does hurt me to know so many people have it out for me. Like a virus infecting others in what they think of me before actually knowing me or where I come from. I know I've done shit I shouldn't have that I can't take back. I have done stupid shit but who hasn't man. But okay go off hate me all you want. I don't know why I still bother even trying to 'explain' myself because y'all don't even care. (cont. ✿✿)

Probably won't believe me if I told you I sent the wrong crop of your message. But honestly I'm glad y'all 'exposed' me because this is the shit y'all spread around to your groups/clicks to exclude me in things I want to be a part in. Things that I figured was being taken out of context or things that shouldn't be a problem. At least I know know what y'all think of me because I never got answers since nobody dared to ask me in person just spread hate with your 'evidence' like the toxic community

Didn't want to post more than 5 asks continuing the same convo, so copy-pasted them all here. 🌸

[lyra-swan]

Hiiiii I know you're offline as I'm writing this but nevertheless I still felt like jumping into your inbox and word-vomiting for a second because I've been following Mechanical Angel for quite some time now and picked it up again recently and I just made it to part IV, god I'm having a blast. I can't wait to put all my full, extensive thoughts out there once I'm done but for now I need to stress that I'm just super impressed with both your writing style and the tone/ character development as a whole but the world-building in particular got to me gooood.

Am I right to assume that a lot of research went into this???? Because you can genuinely tell, to the point I literally felt transported to the places as you described them every time and the details are just so captivating to witness. It really feels like I'm reading a ww2 novel, I feel transported back into German literature class on occasion and it's just. Impressive???

Anyway thank you SO MUCH for putting this out there, I'm so happy Mechanical Angel (and all of your works) exist!! I've already noticed that there's another story focused on Natsume/Sora set in the same universe and I can't wait to finally jump into that one too once I'm done with MA. (Especially since Natsume is in my top 4# favorite characters but that's only a bonus)

Last but not least I am very mentally ill over Eimika now, congrats, I'm rotating them in my brain a very normal and totally not concerning amount, haha

May you have a wonderful day!!

Oh hi thank you so much!! I both loved and struggled with Part IV so much, but it was extremely fun to write, especially that dumb part in ch.38... I dunno if you've reached ch.45 but that was also very fun. I hope you continue to enjoy the rest!

I'm going to ramble like an old grandma again, adding a read more thingy so the post won't be a bother to scroll past for others.

In my opinion I don't think I've done enough research! But I'll always feel like that no matter how much I do so bleugh, nevermind. The scenery is typically based on my own surroundings but changed slightly to match an European feel... I think I wrote more in the last ask answer but it has a tiny bit of spoilers, I believe. The setting is a bit of amalgamation of my own country and europe because my own surroundings is what I'm familiar with, and of course although it's supposed to be inspiried by Germany everyone drives on the left side (I think I mentioned it in a chapter note) because I didn't want to accidentally trip over myself from a simple description of where a character turns their head. It's the Little Details that are important!

I say, as if I also didn't mess up a few details here and there because I started posting before finishing the first draft and so I couldn't edit the way I used to do for my previous longfics... But yes, it was very fun adding random bits from what I learned into the story because I used to love watching WW2 docs and laughing every time the nazis messed up and suffered a crippling defeat.

Like, I'd read about how they lied to their citizens that they were doing just dandy, and then have Wataru ask Eichi if he wanted more 'false reports of our so-called victories on the battlefield' to be published in the newspapers. Because that's the funniest shit ever to me...

Then one day I'd read about the nazis being among the first to connect smoking to bad health, and I'd add something like that in a conversation between Eichi and Tatsumi, they're not nazis obviously but because of the setting's inspirations that's where I got a lot of information (but you'll have a scene later on that's more Britain than Germany, so the fic truly is a amalgamation of different european settings during WW2). And of course, people are sceptical of new medical findings, that was mentioned. And the part where Eichi mentions 'common people are suspicious of IV drips' to Mika, that was a thing in the real world too.

I wonder if there is a single medical invention that wasn't regarded with suspicion by at least one person at first.

I kind of wish I had Eichi offering gold watches to anyone who quit smoking, it would've been funny, but eh.

And of course there are some things that don't make sense because this IS an alternate world so I DO have freedom. Like, even though this takes place generally in 1930s-1940s time, tranquiliser guns weren't invented until the 1950s (by a NEW ZEALANDER!!! Colin Murdoch. He's also the genius behind the modern day syringe, if I recall correctly), but you know, I added it in anyway because alternate world, alternate invention timeframes. I wrote that fog scene where Mika is shot by Midori while also sitting outside one dark foggy morning, and I liked the scene so much I kept it in.

Anyway I'm so happy you like the world-building! It was super fun to work on! I really like rural settings for world war stories... one of my favourite authors, Michael Morpurgo has that kind of vibe going on too, my bookshelf has a few of his books. So many dog and animal stories with themes of war lingering in the background if they don't directly deal with war and I love every one of them. They're all so full of emotion, they'd always make me cry. I love the stories that can make me cry and look back and think it was the most beautiful thing I've ever read and Morpurgo's works can do that A LOT. But also I'm very emotional...

And thank YOU for this! I'm always so happy hearing someone enjoyed what I wrote!

I still need to finish that natsusora fic. It was supposed to be a part of the main story itself but because it would've taken so many chapters, I was worried about 'forcing' readers through a side story that had no bearing on eimika. So I posted it as a separate fic! It takes place during that last chapter of Part IV so you can actually have a look whenever you've started Part V.

Natsume is very out of character, however. He's in his 30s and not really the cute feminine witchy boy that he truly is in canon (at least, that's how I see him), he's an engineer and really logical... but he hates Eichi with a passion, that's VERY necessary. Nevertheless, I try to write him as close to his canon self within the au that I've shoved him in and told him to survive in. Totally fine if you end up not liking it!

Excuse the rambling!! Thank you! You have good day!!

[possthrowaway4q]

I've learned/realized a lot about my health issues recently, and I... really need some opinions. Particularly from people with traumatic brain injuries. So I'm gonna share my story.

Major Trigger Warning: birth complications, asphyxiation, seizures, child endangerment, medical neglect

(Sorry this isn't under a readmore I have literally never been able to use them on mobile without breaking the post)

I was lied to about my birth story. I was told by my mother that I came into the world a beautiful and perfectly healthy baby (and in her defense she very well could've convinced herself of this). This is, according to what my dad told me now that I'm an adult, completely false. My mother and I both almost died. The doctors didn't believe she was in labor yet. Called it Braxton Hicks for multiple days. Wasn't until one of them actually checked and saw my head that they believed her. Came out completely blue with the umbilical cord wrapped around my neck and was totally silent when they unwrapped me. Had to spend multiple days in the NICU in one of those oxygen tents. Don't know a lot of the details because apparently it wasn't discussed much. No idea if the doctors said anything about potential long-term issues and even if they did, there's no guarantee my parents kept an eye out properly. Didn't find out until a few years ago that I had hallucinations and frequent vivid nightmares as a young kid and the person mentioning it clearly didn't think much of it, despite me vaguely remembering seeing two separate child therapists around that age. Like, early elementary, I think.

That's not the only event though. Summer between 5th and 6th grade I had a drug-induced seizure. I was being watched by a family member who was kind of notorious for hoarding all sorts of medications. Including ones she was no longer prescribed. She didn't keep everything in their proper bottles either, moving pills between and re-labeling them. Including putting prescriptions in OTC containers. I asked for something for a headache. She gave me a pill saying it was Tylenol - didn't even see the bottle it came out of - and left me be again. Wasn't long before I knew something was wrong. Thankfully, I had my phone in my hand and was able to text her before I lost complete control of my muscles. Dunno how long exactly the seizure lasted, but it must've been at least ten minutes because that's how far away my parents lived and they were there with me when it ended. Remember my dad picking me up and holding me until I could talk and move again. We never did go to the hospital. Idk if it's because we all assumed I was fine once it was over or if it was because no one wanted to get the family member in trouble. Would explain why she called my parents instead of an ambulance, I suppose.

Been thinking about that tonight. Realized I was never really the same after that. I went from all As in school to completely unable to keep up with most subjects. I couldn't think or focus, I was in a fog most of the time, was losing large gaps of time and couldn't remember both short and long term things, and shortly after that was the beginning of my three year long psychotic break. Everyone remembers how the start of middle school is when all my mental health symptoms went into overdrive and I was just. Notably worse. And to top it all off, I always have said that my memory of my past seems to only go back to a few substantial memories in 5th grade and everything prior basically doesn't exist most of the time.

So I guess my question is just... could I have brain damage? Birth asphyxia is bad enough, but a 10+ minute long seizure as a child? I'm pretty sure that's way past the threshold of a medical emergency/when permanent brain damage can start. But every time I mention the idea to anyone, it gets brushed off. Either because I "don't need another thing wrong with me" or "does it really matter?" or because neither thing are your typical ideas of a TBI.

Sure, I've got a bunch of other reasons I could have these symptoms. Even just on the mental health side, ADHD, autism, psychosis, dissociative disorder stuff, and it's been too long for any doctor to say definitively one way or the other if they even take me seriously. But... I don't know, could those have contributed? Hell, could that be the root source of some of it that no one connected to because we never talked about it after the fact? (I even completely forgot for a long time. Didn't think it was a big deal. Didn't really understand seizures at the time.) I can't emphasize enough how drastically my health changed after that seizure. But maybe it was just puberty or the increase in difficulty/stress from going from elementary to middle school.

Surely it's possible though that those things at least exacerbated underlying issues or something? I guess the root of my question is whether the traumatic brain injury community would have me. I don't think I'll ever be able to fully, publicly identify that way, but I still desperately want to know if I'd be welcomed if I tried. Could I really have brain damage or am I just being dramatic or a hypochondriac or something? I just wanna know why I'm so fucked up in the head.

[scapegoatperry]

Welcome to Haddonfield

Chapter 2: Tiffany and Jason (slasher coffee shop au)

A/N: This chapter is probably shorter, but I wanted to show a little more of Tiff and Jason’s dynamic with the reader (maybe tiff more so than jase but don't worry we'll see more of him!). So, sorry no Mikey in here ://. But he'll be there in the next chapter that should be out tomorrow since I'm almost done with it. This chapter gives a little more insight on the reader’s outlook on romantic relationships. Which, yes the reader has gone through some traumatizing things both while growing up and during their young adult years. But I want you all to know they have and are going to therapy and somewhere in the future it will be mentioned that they take medication for their mental illnesses. Also I personally hc Tiffany as half chinese, since Jennifer Tilly is and I dunno, I just thought it’d be cool to add that. Friendly reminder I also hc Tiffany is a demiwoman who uses she/they pronouns, while Jason is a demiman who uses he/him pronouns (and he doesn't wear a mask but still has his deformity, he's just more confident in here). Pumpkin is afab while using they/them pronouns, again they are indifferent about gender. Pumpkin is also short. How short is really up to y’all. Anyway enjoy!

Characters in the chapter: Tiffany Valentine, Jason Voorhees, and Pumpkin (aka the reader)

WARNINGS: Cursing, perverted jokes from Tiff and the reader, a small panic attack of some sorts from the reader, and mentions of toxic/abusive relationships (not necessarily just romantic relationships). Maybe some bad grammar and spelling.

“Sooo, how was your first day at work, sugar?” Tiffany asked once she got settled on the couch, wrapping an arm around you. Jason was still at work for thirty five minutes and had let you and the blonde demiwoman know to go ahead and start Kitchen Nightmares without him. You shifted a bit looking up at your best friend, answering their question

“It was great, actually. I only messed up on two orders,” Tiff gave you a big smile, letting you know she was proud of you, before continuing, “But, uh, it was a little strange this morning. You remember Angel right? The girl with curly blonde hair? The one who picked me up on my first day of training?”

“Yeah! I remember that cutie. She giving you trouble all of a sudden?” They tipped their head to the side, with a peculiar look on her face, no longer paying attention to the tv in front of the both of you. “Oh! No, no, no,” You shook your head comically fast. “Her older brother came in. And no he didn’t do anything to me either, didn’t even say anything actually. Well verbally anyway. But the way that he was acting, it’s like he was expecting me to run away screaming or some shit like that.”

You couldn’t help but find it odd. Was he usually standoffish with people? You couldn’t wrap your head around how Angel acted before and after the whole thing, seemingly shocked by how you both were with each other, whatever that really meant on Michael’s end. You found it hard to believe someone would treat the behemoth man any differently than any other customer just because he preferred Tommy making his scone and his sister making his coffee and because he used sign language over verbally speaking. It really couldn’t be because of how he looks, because nearly everyone who works there had a style similar to his, including yourself (though your style was all over the place, you didn’t always dress like that). While Tiffany was mulling over your words, you added, “I don’t know. Maybe some people are freaked out by his height, on top of looking like a scarier, younger version of Danny Carey? And he’s taller than Jase by a good, what? Four inches, I think?” That caught the demiwoman’s attention.

“He’s 6 fucking 9?!” She screeched, making you wince. You love Tiff but damn that hurt your ears. “Without the boots he was wearing? I’m assuming, yeah. I’m shocked his head didn’t hit any of the decorations in the damn place,” you couldn’t help but joke.

You remembered him ducking down when he left the cafe. It was ridiculously adorable. “Holy shit- isn’t Angel like, around your height? How the hell did their mother give birth to him?” Sometimes they didn’t have much of a filter, which was both a blessing and a curse. You just shrugged in return. How the hell were you supposed to know? You were majoring in women's, gender, and sexuality studies, not biology. Promptly, the blonde pulled away from you, turning her whole body towards you, making you do the same for her. “What?”

“Don’t ‘what’ me,” The half-Chinese adult said, with a scoff. “You’re a kind person Pumpkin. After everything you’ve been through, you’ve still managed to retain your kindness to those that haven’t done you wrong. You’re probably the first colleague they’ve had in a long time that didn’t treat him like a freak.” Then she smiled slyly at you, carrying on, “And you’re a very attractive person. I mean, look at you, Pumpkin. You’re an absolute hottie. I saw what you were wearing before you left the house this morning. Probably made his heart beat a little faster that usual and made all that blood rush to his-”

“Mhmmm! Nope, no, not today satan, absolutely not today!” You shouted pulling yourself off the couch, walking away from her. “You’re done, you’re done-”

“I was kiddin’-”

“you can go on timeout. I’ll tell Jase you’re on timeout and we’ll watch Kitchen Nightmares without your perverted ass.” By the end of that, the both of you were laughing and headed to the kitchen since that’s where you started walking off too.

“So...What’s his name?” You groaned, Tiffany really wasn’t going to let up were they?

“I- girl, why do you care?”

“Because he’s the first person you seem to be interested in-”

“I am not interested in him like that. Anyway, Michael, doesn’t seem like he makes friends very easily, let alone finds it easy to find someone to date, so, you know,” you defended yourself against her teasing as you tossed your hands up in the air.

“Hmm, sounds like someone else I know. Except for the friend part, you’re really good at that.”

You gave the brown eyed beauty a weak glare. “Cute name though.” You couldn’t help but roll your eyes at her changing the subject to his name. But she was right, it did suit him. Knowing the taller woman wouldn’t let it go until you at least gave some sort of description of the man you relented, letting yourself at least indulge a little bit, “He’s got really pretty blue eyes. Like an icy blue, I think? It was a little hard to tell with him having long hair. Super pretty too, like, I really didn’t expect him to be that pretty.” You paused a bit admitting, “Kind of a shame he’s Angel’s brother, otherwise, I might’ve climbed him like a tree-” Tiffany instantly started screeching at your light lewd comment, grabbing onto you while you started laughing. You didn’t really date people, but you were no nun. You’ve had plenty of experience in the bedroom.

During this time, Jason had come home, unexpectedly early, and walked into the kitchen after hearing Tiff’s screeches and your laughter. He stood in the arch way of the kitchen, with a confused look on his cute face. The blonde told him almost instantly, “They’ve got a crush on one of their co-worker's brother-”

“Shut up, I don’t! He’s just cute to look at. I would never do that to Angel, I work with her for fuck’s sake. I haven’t seriously dated someone in years, let alone had a real crush on anyone! You both know it’s hard for me to even like anyone romantically.” Now her teasing was a little too much for you. Maybe you were being too sensitive, but the thought of even jumping into a relationship was making your head spin and made your stomach drop in a not so fun way. Especially with someone you didn’t fucking know. The giant, yet gentle demiman walked over to you, and set his hands on your shoulders softly just to get your attention as well as grounding you, before signing, “It’s okay, you don’t have to date anyone if you don’t want to, Pumpkin.”

“He’s right, I’m sorry, sugar. I won’t do that again, okay? I went too far with that.” They both knew why you nearly had a breakdown at that. Sure, you preferred being close friends with someone before dating them, but your very first relationship (if you could even call it that) was what made it a mandatory to be friends with someone first. Not that you would ever change that. Being in therapy since you were twenty-one helped you understand that wasn’t a bad thing, not one bit. And you’ve stuck to it even when others, not the two that you live with, told you it was a phase. You let out a heavy sigh, “Sorry, god. You would think I wouldn’t freak out even after six years since that happened...”

“You don’t ever need to apologize for that, Pumpkin. I should’ve known better than to poke at you like that for that long. It doesn’t matter if it was that long ago or not, what you went through was bad. It should’ve never happened, but it did and you’re still here with us to this day and that’s what matters.”

Tiffany leaned down a bit and gave you a kiss on the forehead, just as your guys’ mutual best friend mumbled out, “I love you two.” Just lighten up the mood and brought you both into a big hug. Which made you groan because both of them were squeezing so tightly. “Y’all are gonna kill me,” you managed to get out. Thankfully they both showed mercy and let go, chuckling at your dramatic behavior.

“Alright, let’s leave the big guy to make dinner. After all, he promised to make us burritos tonight.”

You forgot about that. The bald demiman even made breakfast that morning before you all went to work and mentioned making burritos as a celebration for your first day of work. Your mind went blank as he began to shoo you and Tiffany out of the kitchen, making her giggle, calling out to Jason as they walked to the living room with you, “I think they forgot about dinner tonight!” You didn’t miss the grumbling from the colossal chef in the other room, but knew it was just him messing around. Jason wasn’t one to get angry or even annoyed easily. The demiman was all around laid back when you and Tiff weren’t causing chaos. A smile graced your mouth as you unpaused the tv, watching Kitchen Nightmares with your best friend while the other cooked dinner for the three of you. Yeah, you had it pretty good.

[writingandmore]

Hi!!! May I get a HP, Star Wars, Voltron, and Disney matchup?

𝗕𝗔𝗦𝗜𝗖𝗦 + 𝗔𝗣𝗣𝗘𝗔𝗥𝗔𝗡𝗖𝗘

19, Libra, Neutral Good, enneagram is 4w5, muggleborn Ravenclaw (with Gryffindor tendencies), and my patronus spirit is Hummingbird. Biromantic Pansexual Genderfluid woman using pronouns of She/Her or He/Him. Cherubic-like face, with short height (5'1") plus sized Southeast Asian woman with Spanish descent that has chic messy/wavy brunette medium hair that reaches to my shoulder, oriental skin, slightly upturned eyes, small lashes, chocolate brown irises, cute flat nose, heart shaped face, full cheeks, cupid's bow lips, a small beauty mark on the forehead, and naturally straight teeth with tiny gap in front (just imagine that it's a mixture of Marinette from 𝗠𝗶𝗿𝗮𝗰𝘂𝗹𝗼𝘂𝘀 𝗟𝗮𝗱𝘆𝗯𝘂𝗴, Musa from 𝗪𝗶𝗻𝘅 𝗖𝗹𝘂𝗯, and Alexandra Trese from 𝗧𝗿𝗲𝘀𝗲---cause' my friend told me that I kinda look like them). My sense of fashion is in between emo and boyish plus korean glam, I sometimes let my hair down or styled like Lara Croft reboot.

𝗣𝗘𝗥𝗦𝗢𝗡𝗔𝗟𝗜𝗧𝗬

Distant, quiet, and timid at first making people thought I'm a demure, modest, and self-effacing that looks "immaculate" or "one of a kind" (due to my protective mom, a reason why I've never been in a relationship) but the truth is, dunno how to initiate a conversation, but a total opposite if I open up---friendly, ambivert, witty, laughing loudly on a daily basis---like my happiness is too shallow, super talkative, eats a lot (yeah I can finish a huge slice of cake or a meal in one sitting), awkward, daydreamer (I got embarrassed from knocking at the door even I'm inside the classroom 😂), EXTREMELY CLUMSY (mostly gets bruises from hitting, bumping my head somewhere, walking into something on my way, and being careless to my belongings), secretly likes affection, easily overwhelmed, prone to melt over wholesomeness, flusters on compliments, lightly blushes on cheesy banters, eager to share what I know (especially about Catholic Church---my past teacher joked that I'll become a saint because of it 🤣), oftenly speaks full of sarcasm with a lowkey crackhead energy citing meme references, and talented girl who can be your no.1 supporter and unashamed to be true to myself but can be awkward to strangers. In terms of leadership, I only educate and guide than being a prefect (I might take the role seriously), will lift my group when there's lacking/incompleteness. About doing projects in school, I become too extra and prepared for efforts, but I'll forget the process in the end.

The extent, I'm expressive, warm-hearted, willig to help, kind, intelligent, supportive, nice, creative, enthusiastic, laid-back, determined, tough, competitive, and feisty outside, but a real softie that can be childish and dramatic that cries so easily (but will enlightened real quick by smallest things that makes me smile) filled with doubts, frustrations, and insecurities with fear of failure that pushes off the limits to to please everyone because they might get dissappointed from expectations---I simply can't stop proving myself too much because I'm a survivor of bullying. But I still managed to be stronger than ever after I stumbled, even it's a slow burn process. I can be blunt, intimidating, harsh, and a douchebag if I receive ends or I got interrupted while doing something. Immature, headstrong, perfectionist, demanding, hesitant, jumpy, forgetful, overthinker, quick-tempered, sensitive, and anxious (no joke, my nervousness makes me think worse scenario will arrive). Though can be procrastinator and arrogant, I raised as a religious 𝖺𝗇𝖽 diplomatic youth, willing to fight what I believe (including my dreams and what's important to me) and what is right. In addition, I have a habit of staying up late and doing sign of the cross to ease nervousness.

Rowdy and feeling-brokenhearted and bitter friend in the group who fangirl a lot, swears like sailor, will call out on people that we loathe, will make fun of your stupidity (in a good way) before helping, and bring gossips, but a hopeless romantic and cheeky (makes banter with sarcasms or pick up lines as an endearment, but gets annoyed if I received sappy or offensive one), Still generous and concerned person in a subtle and different way.

𝗛𝗢𝗕𝗕𝗜𝗘𝗦

My hobbies are singing, drawing, roleplaying, listening to music, chatting/browsing on social media, conceptualizing, writing, and reading some stuffs. I'll include making corniest jokes/puns, sleeping, and dancing when nobody's around or walking like a model if I feel so bold (even I'm terrible at both xD). I also used to learn Italian language a bit.

𝗟𝗜𝗞𝗘𝗦

Loves kittens, milk tea, singing at the karaoke, cartoons, iced coffee, memes, cute things, watching YouTube videos (mostly pageants, ASMR, edit audios, and mukbangs), also enjoys playing games on my sister's PSP. Sucker for arts, choir, poetry, night sky, makeup, fun/deep/dumb conversations, Christianity, documentaries (about saints, real crime stories, and inspirational people), reading interesting stuffs, talking about social issues, and creative writing, chilling both indoors and outdoors. Beside that, my music taste are like late 90s-2000s songs (mostly rock, pop, and country) sometimes Catholic songs, kpop and ppop, chocoholic, and a sweetooth as well.

𝗗𝗜𝗦𝗟𝗜𝗞𝗘𝗦

Things that I hate are stereotyping, HUGE creepy crawlies (spiders, toads, snakes, and cockroaches), firecracker sounds, thunder and lightning, being left out, loneliness, heart break, blackout, and judgemental people. If I found out that someone hates or backstabbing or being rude to me, I won't hesitate to throw offensive criticisms, leaving them with a "I don't give a f" attitude. One random fact about me is, I 𝗐𝗂𝗅𝗅 vent out EVERYTHING I despise in my entire existence---from bad soap operas to toxicity, worse scenarios in real life, and how terrible is my love life from unrequited feelings that I got, because it's a big deal for me, and I consider forcing me to do what I'm not into and manipulating me as my major pet peeves.

𝗧𝗥𝗜𝗚𝗚𝗘𝗥𝗦

In terms of triggers...I only have two which are ta𝖨king about divorce/annullment/separation because I came from a generational broken family (it sucks that some people I knew assumed that the reason why I'm overly unaware that someone is interested in me in secret, is I have "high standards" looking for a partner, but the truth is I'm strict and I have a personal preferences...I know my worth and I don't want settle for less!) and religion/beliefs discrimination, cause' there are reasonings that doesn't makes sense because some, sounds too hypocritical, like as if you're a morally good person.

𝗥𝗢𝗠𝗔𝗡𝗖𝗘 + 𝗟𝗢𝗩𝗘 𝗟𝗔𝗡𝗚𝗨𝗔𝗚𝗘𝗦

My love languages are quality time and gift giving, but I actually swoon over physical touch (especially cuddles and cute kisses) and words of affirmation when it comes to having a partner, though I get attracted so easily, matured but can be a goofy person who's nice, friendly, kind-hearted, loving, faithful, and excels in academics is my cup of tea. Whenever I have a real life crush (which is rare), I act the same but deep inside, my heart is about to explode and will eventually share to my trustful friends how I highly admire that person, however if they spilled the beans out, I'll obviously deny it and will cry if they like someone else, it will take some time for me to move on, now I don't care for them anymore.

Best Friends to Lovers is my ideal trope because I find it very cute since you already knew each other before dating (which happened to my 2nd cousin, she married her best friend!)---perfect balance for romance, laughters, comfort, and tears when it comes to sharing your vibes, being there through thick and thin, safe with embraces, and helping each other to grow.

𝗧𝗥𝗜𝗩𝗜𝗔𝗦

My best assets are smile, eyes, personality, singing voice, artistic skills, writings, intelligence, oratorical skills and I have potential in hosting...so I can consider myself as a singer, artist, orator, speaker, and a top student who's a former active campus ministry member with three roles (choir leader, psalm singer, and reader).

May sounds different but I'm passionate for helping people through my talents and sharing my story to inspire everyone. I may look selfish, but I have a different way on how I show that I actually care also I have a biased sentimental value

Currently a college freshman, learning how to cook. I have so many interests, to the point I don't know what I'm into because of my dreams to become a popular Filipino YouTuber, a novelist, and being part of a successful chorale competing internationally...I also consider joining pageants at school too once the pandemic ends, but maybe.

HP: Remus!

- Remus is also quiet and a bit reserved when he's not in a familiar situation, so your own first impression on him would be a good one, as you'd seem similar to his own personality. He's sweet and is able to start up a conversation if he notices the other person is having a hard time doing so, so hopefully he'd be able to bring out your more extroverted and friendly self after a while so he can be around the more open you. He wouldn't mind you being a bit awkward-he's very much the same way-honestly, the comradery that would come from that would be more positive than anything else. He loves sharing knowledge and learning about new things, so your eagerness to talk about what you know would work really well also! He does a lot better when he knows someone has his back too, so your extra supportive nature would endear him to you as well.

SW: Han!

- Your nicer and more helpful personality would balance out Han's more standoffish vibes when first meeting. You might get on his nerves a bit first, but you'd quickly grown on him and, in turn, make him a bit of a better person. Your ability to be blunt and a bit harsh would serve you well if you ever needed to stand your ground on an issue that two of you have, as he can be quite stubborn.

VLD: Lance!

- Lance can be a bit immature from time to time as well, especially when it comes to trying to be funny or cheering up those around him-he's also headstrong and typically firm in what he wants to do, so your own determined personality would attract him to you a lot as well. He often puts off things he needs to do if they make him anxious too, but if you both recognize that you share that problem, helping each other might be a good solution!

Disney: Flynn!

- Flynn is quite a sarcastic and teasing person, so your own humor would match well with his. He's also quite a hopeless romantic as well, even though he's certainly not one to admit that right off the bat. He enjoys singing, and as he gets closer to someone he feels more comfortable doing so in front of them, so a partner he's been with for a long time would get to see him be more and more open with it. That also applies to activities like dancing.

[pionoplayer]

I keep having this really dumb idea in my head of like... overly long undertale style genocide run? But in a setting specifically constructed in such a way to keep the serial escalation of it going without derailing/diluting the thematics. I dunno if it's a particularly good idea but since one of Everhood's songs put another fight concept into my head for it I decided I might as well post the original idea that came with it here to tumblr.

Steps echo down a ruined corridor, worn down by calamity and time both. At the far end, a figure slouches against a pillar, notices the newcomer, and stands up straighter to face them.

"Hey there. Didn't expect someone to make it this far.

Let alone for that someone to be you, of all people.

Guess this is the part where I give my little speech, yeah? That's usually how these things go.

There's a line I've heard said, quite a few times in fact. It goes something like…

'Do you believe that even the worst person, no matter how horrible, can change if they just try?'

I've always considered it a tacky line but in the end, I believe it. The answer was 'yes' for me after all…

But here's the thing, buddy.

After a certain point, the question stops being "can this person change" and starts being "how many people will they hurt if we give them that chance again".

Because a person can change, no matter how horrible… but only if they decide to.

And you've been given more chances than anyone could possibly earn at this point.

Some people would draw a line in the sand and dare you to cross it.

Not me. You've already crossed every line that mattered.

Some people would give you one last chance to drop your weapon and surrender.

But you already killed them all while their guards were down.

And some people are like you. Ruthless, cold, downright psychotic.

I'd say it turns out they were right but uh, you didn't really leave any of them lying around either did you?

So I'm gonna ask this question one, final time. Just for nostalgia's sake. Back when there were beautiful days outside, when there were flowers left to bloom and birds left to sing.

Are you ready to have a bad time?

Because you don't get a choice anymore, as far as you've come down your path the only thing left waiting for you is the worst time of your life.

NOW STAND STILL AND DIE LIKE THE CREATURE YOU ARE."

The newcomer - no, the challenger - steps forwards instead, sending an attack towards the figure at the end of the hall. The strike is rendered harmless.

"Yeah, I figured that would be your response. Let's get started then, shall we?"

The defender begins his own assault, attempting a pace to keep the challenger from launching their retort.

"You know, it's kinda funny. Looking at you, you don't look like the kind of person that would be responsible for everything happening."

A gap in the onslaught, another quick and precise strike, followed by the defender resuming his barrage.

"Hey now, that's not a jab at your height. I don't waste jokes on an audience like you. Just a statement of fact, ya know?"

Another opportunity, another missed shot.

"If it weren't for all the bloodstains and equipment stolen from the corpses of people better than you, I'd think you were just some poor sod looking for their way back home."

A gap, a strike. The pattern is established.

"Wherever your home was, it's probably not there anymore. A lot of homes aren't there anymore, thanks to you.

Doesn't that bother you? That wherever you started you can't go back? That everyone you might have ever cared about in whatever times and places you could've been…

Are just gone? Vanished? Obliterated so thoroughly that even we can't bring them back?

Look, kid. I don't know what your deal is. I know you by reputation alone, and even if my job is dealing with 'problems', I was really hoping I wouldn't wind up here. With you.

But every single one of them, even the psychopaths bent on breaking everything over their knee…

They still had something they wanted to see through. Something they wanted to protect, even if it was just their own sorry hides.

I look in your eyes, in your past, I see nothing. Oh, I see a house, and parents, maybe friends. But I don't see anything real. Real to you. It's like you've erased it, severed all your own ties on a conceptual level.

It's almost like you're just as gone as everything you've taken away."

Something changes. The strike lands a little closer, shaving off something small, insignificant. The constant barrage of destruction falters.

"...That fast huh? Go on, do it again. I dare you, kid."

Another strike. Another impossibly near miss.

"I didn't think you'd actually be dumb enough to do it. Guess my little ramble actually paid off yeah? Now I know exactly what you are. Approximately."

Another strike. This time the sound of it hitting the far wall seems to shake the very foundation of the world itself. And then the room fills with death.

"Let's see how you deal with phase two, buster."

The pattern resumes, just with more noise and violence.

"You know, I really don't know why I'm still talking to you. A friend of mine would tell me to stop wasting my energy…

But, you know, it calms my nerves. Pretending I'm talking to a real person.

Now, I'm sure you know the whole catastrophe, inside and out. You were right at the heart of it after all.

To get things straight though? You got lucky. We were busy, other problems were cropping up, and it didn't look like you were the threat you are until suddenly everything was collapsing.

And with what you are… do you think maybe in another branch of causality we could've maybe been coworkers? Maybe friends?

You've got the moxie to be one of us, I'll tell you what. A bit lacking on the 'morals' side of things though.

Guess it doesn't matter anymore. Even if I, if we, stop you dead in your tracks, in a way you've already won.

Can't go back from where we are now after all…

Speaking of 'not being able to go back', I'm getting a little bit tired of this endless back and forth. What do you say I… speed things up a little?"

Abruptly the pace picks up, what was already an assault leaving so little untargeted space it was frankly unreasonable that the challenger had gotten this far - and gotten this far unscathed no less - becomes an unrivaled, personally targeted cataclysm.

"...You know, even knowing what your deal is... watching you brush off one of my best tricks like it's a laser pointer is infuriating."

The challenger lashes out, a set of frantic, angry strikes that are abruptly cut short by a resumption of hostilities from the defender.

"So you know what? I'll take a turn at your game. Go ahead, hit me with your best shot before I can charge up something better. Let's see how this goes for you."

The hall is silent for the briefest of moments, before the challenger lets loose the first noise they've made throughout the entire confrontation; an infernal, blood-curdling shriek. Power ripples through the hallway, searing away pieces of it in a barrage of strikes meant to bring gods to their knees.

Everything freezes. The challenger, the collapsing hall, everything but the defender.

"Wow, you're really ready to have this be over with, aren't you? I'm sure you almost got me, try harder next time and I'm sure you'll get to see what comes after."

There's a crunch and a soft cry of pain. The challenger is forced to their knees.

"I've got a little piece of advice for you though, assuming you haven't gotten it from me already."

Another crunch, a steady pace of dripping liquid can be heard.

"Your little 'quest' doesn't end with me. I'm just the wake-up call. If you get past me somehow, things are gonna get a whole lot worse for you than you realize. You might wanna turn back now before things actually get ugly."

There's no sound besides the slow drip of blood to the floor of the ruined hall. Or something approximating blood at least.

"Now get lost."

GAME OVER

...You aren't getting rid of me that easily.

>RETRY

[killian-whump]

I attribute that "stiffness" to the colifer bunch. Jen and Colin were always very casual and comfortable together (to my eye) until somewhere in s5, which happens to be about when those guys behavior got particularly bad. I dunno. I think Colin and Jen were always and still are friends, and I definitely don't agree that she didn't support him, but I do think they're not as close as before? Whether that's because of fucking irl shippers, or no longer being around each other a lot, or both.

Yeah, I don’t doubt that a lot of the discomfort they had around each other, especially in later years, was due to the nonsense that was going on with the fans. Especially when they harassed his family or spoke ill of his wife.

And I guess that’s where my comment about Jen’s lack of support comes in. Colin has had to literally shut down any mention of his wife or family with the fans, and has to watch every little thing he says or does for fear of what the fandom will take and run with as evidence of their “true love” or whatever. I mean, the guy can’t even work in a forge without those nutters latching on to his lack of a wedding ring when he’s working with molten metal. Geez. But then Jen encourages things by responding to a lukewarm birthday greeting with x’s and o’s and... it feels, honestly, like she’s not even trying to help him out in that regard. Especially when, let’s be honest, most of the Colifer fans are from Jen’s fandom in the first place. I honestly don’t know any Colin fans who support that shit. (For what it’s worth, I don’t really expect her to “police” her fans - that kind of toxic fan is likely to consider ANY attention to be good attention and her chastising them would likely backfire and only encourage them further. I think ignoring them is a perfectly valid tactic, but I DO think she could be more considerate of Colin’s efforts to not stir them up.)

I also feel like he is MUCH more comfortable doing panels/interviews with other people. I confess, when I first got into the fandom and mostly only ever saw him doing interviews/panels with Jen, I just assumed that she was picking up his slack and doing most of the talking because that’s how he liked it. And I believed the nonsense Colifers spouted about how “shy” Colin is and how he could never carry an interview/panel on his own. But now that I’ve seen him do plenty of interviews/panels on his own and alongside Josh, Robert, Rose, Lana, Bex, Sean, Lee, Liam, people from other projects and whoever else I’m forgetting... He does a great job. He talks. He jokes. He hams it up. He’s an active part of the whole thing. And now, seeing his old interviews with Jen... They're painfully awkward to me. He looks uncomfortable. Stiff. Overthinking everything he says. And maybe it IS just because he’s gotten better at dealing with fans and fame, but I don’t really think Jen helped him do that. I think at best her domination of the dialogue allowed him to get by without developing the needed skills for too long - and, at worst, it made him feel uncomfortable expressing himself freely. (Again, that’s nothing against Jen, herself. It’s not her responsibility to look after him or make sure he’s expressing himself. I’m just saying that I believe he works better with others in joint interviews than he does with Jen.)

Anyway, I don’t necessarily think anything bad happened between them. I don’t think they no longer get along or that there was ever anything wrong with their friendship. I just don’t think it was as grand as some of their fans like to think it was. And I do think whatever’s become of that friendship probably has a LOT to do with them no longer working together on a daily basis. I just feel like, while he’s going to maintain a strong friendship with some of the Once cast (like Sean or Josh, for instance), he’s not going to maintain that with everyone from the cast - and I feel like Jen might just be one of those people who fades into a fond acquaintance instead of remaining a good friend.

And, really, there’s nothing wrong with that.

*As a note to anyone reading this, I use “Colifer” exclusively to refer to the idea of them being “more than friends”. I use O’Morrison as a tag and a term for their general friendship. I think O’Morrison is fine and dandy - but Colifer should be mocked at every opportunity and with great aplomb :P

**Also, I’m not tagging this anti Jen, because it’s not.

[basket-of-radiants]

OMG!! I DON'T HATE MOASH EITHER!!!! Like I saw Elhokar dying from a mile away and I wasn't that invested in him. Also, Szeth is annoying? Why do people like Szeth (who literally killed SO MANY PEOPLE! And the rock didn't compel him? It was a normal rock?) and hate Moash?

Oooooookay. There’s. A lot to unpack here. I know you were trying to be relatable, but I reeeeeally disagree with a lot of this. (Let’s see how comprehensible I can be this late at night.)

Like first off and most importantly, how dare you call Szeth annoying, he’s my favorite character. He is a massive murderous disaster with the most edgy and Extra™ POV narration I have ever seen and I love him. (You must be new here; this is basically a Szeth fan blog.)

As for Elhokar, I wouldn’t at all say I wasn’t invested-I quite liked him in Oathbringer and I certainly was not happy that he died. I found his arc to be quite compelling, and even though he was late to the game, I appreciate that he was doing his best to assume responsibility in whatever ways he could. Like I dunno, he admitted his mistakes and worked to improve. Maybe it was too little and too late, I don’t think there’s an objective answer to that kind of thing. I do tend to hold characters who are members of the aristocracy to a higher standard than other characters, and I wouldn’t necessarily say he was a good king yet, but he was certainly trying, and that I would have liked to see. (I wasn’t quite as interested in him becoming a radiant, but that plotline didn’t happen anyway in the end so w/e.) I’m not going to be talking about him much, but please know you don’t need to defend him as a person to me, I already appreciate him.

However I don’t see the need to pick Moash or Elhokar over one another. I can understand why if you liked a character then you would hate whoever killed them, but I’m not really like that. Actually I’m glad you brought up Szeth because he’s a great example of that. I have been in love with him since chapter one. In Words of Radiance he tried-and very nearly succeeded-to murder Dalinar, Adolin, and Kaladin. Of course I hoped he wouldn’t succeed. Of course I wanted them to survive. But even if he had killed one-or hell all-of them, I genuinely believe I would still like him as a character. Part of that is Szeth’s circumstances-I know that he never (welllllll) actually had ill will towards these people and I know he’s already going to suffer for any actions he takes. He knew what the right thing was, and he would have done the wrong thing, knowing it was the wrong thing to do. That’s honestly a lot of what attracts me to his character, he has this web of contradictions that he both hates and depends on and it can be fascinating to watch. I both want him to accept responsibility for his actions and find it hard to blame him for them. Moash on the other hand is in a totally different situation, but I feel like I can apply similar principles to him. If I can still appreciate Szeth’s character in spite of all he’s done, then I feel I can do the same for Moash. I happen to not think Moash’s actions were as objectively bad as a lot of people did, but I’ll get to that later.

One thing I do agree with you on is that Szeth is a worse person than Moash. No seriously, if you want to tell me that Moash is bad because of his actions in Oathbringer, you’ll have to convince me that his actions are so bad that they’re worse than all the killing and destabilizing of entire nations that Szeth has done. Again, I don’t entirely blame Szeth, but it is his fault. And if we’re going by actions alone, then he’s done a hell of a lot worse than quite a lot of characters. That’s fine though, because I don’t judge characters by their actions alone. There’s a reason these are told as nuanced stories with the points of view and feelings of different characters taken into account and not as history textbooks just stating the events that happened.

(Hopefully this all ties together. It’s after 2 am and I have no idea where I’m going with this. Be prepared for tangents.)

So! Let’s talk about Moash.

I’m sure I’m not fully representing all the richness of the anti-Moash arguments here because it seems people have spent a lot of time finding reasons to hate him. I’d guess there are a few main reasons? From what I can tell, they are (in no particular order) betraying Kaladin/Bridge Four, Killing Elhokar, Killing Jez, and the whole denying personal responsibility thing. There’s a also just a lot of general hate and calling him an asshole (which I really don’t get? I don’t think he’s ever just been needlessly cruel or anything, I mean he hates lighteyes but that’s about it) but that’s kind of hard to argue about so whatever. Anyway if those are absolute sticking points for you, and you cannot possibly like a character who did those things, then I guess that’s fine, you do you. I’m mostly just going to set out my interpretation of the character and talk a little bit about my beliefs. It’s not really a defense per se, but it’s how I understand him.

I want to talk about the Alethi. Moash’s character is clearly focused heavily on themes of revenge. We’re already not off to a great start here because I personally do not believe in revenge. I do believe in justice, and I think that for Moash the two are one and the same. I also think that for literally the entirety of Alethi culture the ideas of justice and revenge are one and the same. See, that’s something I am willing to blame on circumstance. It’s not just the Alethi, all across Roshar violent crimes (which I would consider the deaths of Moash’s grandparents to be) can be punished by execution, and while, again, I disagree, it’s indisputably the cultural norm. (The act of forgiveness that characters like Kaladin were showing is a radical thing.) In terms of Moash’s vengeance, I find it really hard to condemn that when he’s trying to kill just one guy, if we’re not also going to massively get on Dalinar’s case and Elhokar’s case and fucking everyone else’s case for waging a six year genocide war on the Parshendi for the sake of revenge. Violence is an Alethi cultural value-it has repulsed me since day one but it’s very much undenyable.

That’s just something to mull on, it’s honestly not even one of the more major factors in terms of how I view Moash. His revenge aspect in Oathbringer was less interesting to me than other aspects of him, but as that is a part of his character, I wanted to first set aside why I can…well, set it aside.

In Words of Radiance, Kaladin very much sympathized with Moash. Not only that, he legitimately felt Moash was in the right for a considerable amount of time. The turning point for Kaladin was coming to the realization that Elhokar was an important person to Dalinar, which is all well and good, but it doesn’t actually address these underlying contradictions. I actually found that very frustrating at the time when I read it, so I might not be the most objective judge when it comes to Moash’s betrayal. I do know that before Elhokar’s assassination attempt, Moash had not gone forward with anything until Kaladin was on board. And he didn’t know that Kaladin was “off board” until he was already in the middle of the act. Kaladin, to his credit, did offer him an out, but for someone like Moash who had been working tirelessly in anticipation of this moment…I can understand why he wasn’t that receptive then and there. Moash certainly threw the first punch, but he also felt betrayed in that moment. In Oathbringer, at the core of his anger, there was the thought “Kaladin was protecting a murderer” which was how the whole scene had seemed framed to him. Perspective is crucial for understanding Moash. I guess think if Kaladin’s best friend, after learning the truth about Amaram and all he’d done and acknowledging that it was horrible, had at the last moment put their life on the line to protect him. In the end, Moash still felt terrible about having hurt Kaladin and Kaladin had felt terrible about letting Moash get to that point. Both of them regretted everything having to do with the assassination attempt when they went their separate ways.

I don’t know if it seems like I’m taking Moash’s side here, because I’m honestly not trying to do that, I honestly don’t view it as “sides” I view it as two different characters deserving of understanding.

But again! I actually tend not to think about Elhokar’s death in terms of revenge as much as one might expect!

Next I would like to talk about the circumstances under which Elhokar was killed. Because…it was a battle, you know? People on both sides were killing people on both sides. Moash killed Elhokar, but someone else could have been the hand to hold the spear just as easily. I don’t think there was coincidence, I do think that Moash was intentionally seeking to kill Elhokar once he realized he was there. But here’s my super controversial take? In that kind of situation, revenge or not, I don’t even think he was wrong to do so. Moash’s goal was to help and serve the soldiers on his (the singers’) side. If Elhokar had lived, they would have had a shardbearer and another radiant to have to deal with. Lots of named characters in that scene (god that scene was so sad to read) killed lots of named characters on both sides. If Elhokar’s side had gained the upper hand, Khen and Moash probably would have died. In a situation like that, I’m not really sure I can be mad at him for doing a tactically correct move like that, even if his intentions were more personal.

That’s actually…kind of a big distinction between how I view Moash and how a lot of people do. I know there were a lot of people who were holding out for a potential redemption until Moash killed Jez, but I didn’t…exactly…see it as a thing that needed redeeming. I didn’t want Elhokar to die, of course I didn’t, but Moash was a soldier in combat, who just so happened to be faced off against someone he saw (and not necessarily incorrectly at that) as representative of all the discrimination and suffering he’d endured. What do you expect him to do?

Yes, it sucks that he killed Elhokar while he was in the middle of changing, but you can’t honestly expect Moash to know about that.

I mentioned Jez, so let’s start on him next. I will admit, when I was reading Oathbringer, the point at which Moash killed Jez was a very “what the fuck” moment for me. But…honestly the more I think back on it and try to understand him, the more it seems that that was the obvious course of action for him. After all, at that point in the story, I already knew and had accepted that he had defected to the singers’ side. (God his defection is another really fascinating thing actually! And it’s honestly such a huge part in why I care about him even now. I would love to talk a bit about Moash’s relationships with the singers vs the humans in more detail at some point, but this post is probably already way too long. Someone remind me later, I promise the post will be shorter than this one.) He was also literally a slave, but not just that, he was a slave who genuinely wanted the side he was working for to succeed. And also a soldier who had killed before. Honestly, if the fused had asked him to kill someone for them, it would surprise me more if he didn’t do it for them.

I think after he killed Elhokar, Moash was at his lowest point. He was already depressed and really fucked up, but the idealized idea of vengeance deep inside him still had somehow kept him going. Then when he finally got what he had been dreaming of he didn’t feel happy or satisfied or any of that. Not only that, but in having completed his goal he no longer felt he had any purpose. So why not do whatever the fused ask of him? He has no ambition of his own, but he truly believes that once they’re in power, they’ll make a better, fairer society for people in the future. Honestly the more I think about it, the fact that Jez was a herald is all the more reason for Moash to agree to kill him. It provided a very real tactical advantage in a war. I’m not going to touch on whether this act was right or not, but I know that I personally can understand why Moash felt that helping the side of the singers was the right thing to do. And I guess if I can accept that then everything else follows.

As for the personal responsibility thing, I…don’t judge him very much for that. He was a slave, he was dysfunctional and depressed, and his mind kept returning to how he had hurt Kaladin which I’m pretty sure also sort of makes him hate himself. If he needed coping mechanisms to stay alive in that situation, then I’m willing to accept that. Even if he hadn’t had that mindset, he would still be a slave in the exact same situation. And…honestly he’s really not the first character to be in heavy denial over personal responsibility and past actions. I’m sure you don’t need me to tell you about the other examples.

When I was reading Oathbringer my sister and I talked a lot about this worldview, “Alethi society is bad so anything I did when I was a part of it can be written away, because being in that bad society is really what’s to blame.” I will admit I was sort of doing that earlier in this very post, although my intention was more to highlight hypocrisy than anything else. Moash’s denial of personal responsibility probably would have rubbed me the wrong way a lot more if he…didn’t actually take responsibility…all over the place… He stood up for Sah, Khen, etc. when they were being hurt and took it upon himself personally to risk his life to go talk to management and angrily give them constructive criticism on how to make their society fair. He definitely blames his past on the society he lived in, but in the present he was adamant that that had been bad and so the next thing has to be better. Flawed as it may have been, I think it was his way of putting his past behind him and accepting his new life.

Again, not saying that this mentality is good or even justifiable, that’s up to you. I feel that it’s at the very least compelling.

…WHICH! To tie it all together, here’s why I like Moash. In Oathbringer he is a mess of a person, but I still find a lot of nuance and this broken sort of humanity in his actions. I can tell that he still cares about right and wrong, he just feels it’s impossible to find justice in the preexisting human society. (I wanna talk more about his opinions on the singers later.) He definitely did bad things, but he’s not so far gone that I don’t think he’s worth understanding. I don’t necessarily like characters just because they’re good or nice people, they can even be irredeemable people, and maybe Moash is just that. I don’t know. I understand why people would feel that way about him, I really do. But I still find his story compelling, I’m still interested to see what he does next, and against all reason, I’m still hoping he somehow makes it out okay somehow.

It’s like after 3:30, jesus, I need to sleep. Um. Reeeeal quick end notes. This post was mostly me rambling about the bad shit he did in Oathbringer, but I think he did good stuff too! He is a morally grey character and I would go into that more if I weren’t so tired. Uh. I’m sorry for writing so much, I know this probably isn’t what you expect from this kind of blog. If you actually read all this then 1) wow and 2) lmk how comprehensible it was. Also if there’s anything I’m wrong about lmk I do not mind criticism.

Yeah. G’night.

[punkscowardschampions]

Nancy & Rio

Nancy: You're with him right now, aren't you? Nancy: With how that convo just went you're gonna need to be Rio: Oh Rio: No, I'm actually at work but I can go back if I need to Nancy: It's me giving fair warning, it's up to you Rio: I don't know what to say Nancy: Me either Rio: This isn't how we wanted this to go down Rio: but I guess there's no speech that would prepare anyone, yeah? Nancy: Unlikely Nancy: You're the only ones who had any time to prepare and you're struggling, like Rio: It's just Rio: if it was anyone else, we wouldn't have to make this big thing of it, it feels awkward Rio: I know it isn't anyone else and that's the point but it doesn't take away from that feeling Nancy: Well, I'm glad you feel awkward too 'cause it's fucking weird Nancy: And he doesn't care at all so Rio: It's just hard for him to hear that Rio: it doesn't feel it Nancy: I literally don't understand this Nancy: You hate him Rio: Well Rio: I don't Rio: It's a headfuck, I know Nancy: Do you? Rio: Yeah Rio: This is why this is the last way we wanted this to come out Nancy: Like there's a better one Nancy: It's still Rio: You can say it, whatever you want Nancy: I've slagged him off to you so many times and the whole time you've Rio: It's not like I've been repeating it, I promise Nancy: That's not even the issue Nancy: God, this is so strange Rio: What is? Like, your main issues personally anyway Nancy: I don't have words for any of this Nancy: We grew up together, all of us, and then me and him drifted but it was okay 'cause so did you and him Nancy: You understood what he was like instead of falling under his spell like everyone else Rio: I still do Rio: I've not been fooled into thinking he's something he's not Rio: but yeah, I've seen other sides of him too Nancy: He told me why you two really stayed away from each other Nancy: So no you don't Rio: It's hard to explain Rio: it doesn't strictly mean I bought into all that Rio: and I did still see what you were saying, regardless Nancy: I don't get why you'd do this Nancy: You're so much better than it Rio: I know it's unconventional, and lots of people are going to have lots of opinions Rio: but I care less about how hard it might be because I love him more Nancy: I don't care that you're cousins, I care that he's him and you're you Rio: Like I said, I've seen different sides Rio: and you've got to admit, he's been getting better Nancy: You don't think I've seen every side? Nancy: That's how I know which one wins out Nancy: I love him too okay, but any change has come 'cause the Chloe thing scared him straight for a while Nancy: He doesn't know how not to revert to type Rio: It's just a different relationship Rio: no one is entirely themselves with any one person really Rio: he's not always been that, he wasn't before, he doesn't have to stay it Nancy: He's been a prick way longer than he wasn't and we both know it Nancy: Harsh but true Rio: He's got his reasons Rio: don't we all? Nancy: I don't want you to get hurt, alright? Rio: I know Rio: and without sounding disingenuous I am glad you care Rio: but it's too late to go back Rio: I don't want to Nancy: Gross Nancy: Don't give me any more details, like Rio: 'Course not Nancy: Did you really have to come for my parents entire relationship dynamic and repeat it with your own spin? Nancy: I'm joking but like also not Rio: I know Rio: the parallels were not lost on me Nancy: If you break up I'll have to move countries again Nancy: Lord knows what you'd have to do Rio: Yeah Rio: It is scary, not gonna lie Nancy: I literally can't and won't pick sides Rio: I'm not going to ask you to, can't promise he wouldn't but you know Rio: hoping it's not gonna come to that, call me an optimist Nancy: Okay that's cute Nancy: Don't make me a believer this fast, thanks Rio: Sorry, like Nancy: Can we like call him by a code name or something? Nancy: This is just Rio: Only 'cos I'm dying to hear your suggestions now Nancy: Don't make me laugh right now Rio: Soz again Rio: I promise I'm never going to come to you with the kinda info that'll have you wishing you were deaf Rio: Never have, 'cos ew boys, yeah? Nancy: I was literally gonna say Nancy: I'm too gay for that whoever it is Rio: Exactly Rio: I know it's going to be weird for a while for all the other reasons but aside from that, just another straight boy right Nancy: Yeah Nancy: Some of your exes have been even bigger pricks too, but don't tell him I said that Nancy: He'll take it as a trade up Rio: My lips are sealed Rio: Though if anyone's trying to deny that then they got bigger problems Nancy: I can't believe you've used those lips on him after how the first time went Nancy: I'm dead here Rio: He was like, what, 9 Rio: Again, the eternal optimist Rio: but hardly with how much he bragged on all his practice so Nancy: Don't Rio: My bad Nancy: Did you like him then? Nancy: When he was 9 I mean, not when he was bragging Rio: I mean Rio: Not to the degree we've been keeping the secret that long Rio: I guess I had a crush on him Rio: pass you the sick bucket, like Nancy: Lord Nancy: I know he did on you, he told me Nancy: Unprompted, which is another level of gross, thank you Nancy: It's like he was in the closet over this in place of me ever being Nancy: So dramatic, like Rio: I'll save my 'cute' for him, don't worry Rio: well you know, do anything for you, like Nancy: Can I come and see you? Nancy: Like I know it's gonna be so awkward in person probably and I wanna get it over with so we can just Rio: Of course Rio: I'd like that Nancy: I miss you Nancy: Even if you do have rubbish taste in boys Rio: I miss you too Rio: all of you Rio: but I don't miss being there, you know Nancy: I get it Nancy: I feel the same about London Rio: Yeah Rio: I thought you would Nancy: I know it's Drew and I really shouldn't expect him to be anything other than the worst but I can't believe he outed you like that Nancy: So fucked up Rio: Yeah, I really hoped he wouldn't but Rio: guess he had no reason not to now Nancy: But like did he ever? I don't understand why he waited Nancy: It must've given you so much false hope that he'd actually keep his mouth shut Nancy: That's cruel Rio: I guess 'cos he wanted to fuck me himself Rio: put it bluntly Rio: couldn't really be talking shit and doing it at the same time Nancy: That makes sense but why not tell everyone after the baby shower, you know Rio: Yeah, I don't know you know Rio: Buster reckoned maybe he was trying to keep Indie on-side a bit but Rio: that worked well for him Nancy: I don't want my brother to be right about anything right now but Nancy: Could be true, I guess Rio: Kinda makes sense Rio: or he just wanted to fuck with us with false hope and sense of security, like you said Rio: Idk, but I'm relieved in a way, like you said, when would ever be the 'right' moment? Nancy: I can relate, obviously not exactly Nancy: But when I finally kissed Sian after wanting to for such a long time it was like Nancy: Not the best example considering what happened after though Nancy: Try not to crash and burn, like Rio: Noted Rio: At least you had the balls to, good idea or not Rio: decidedly not but Rio: maybe we'd have never done it without being forced, idk Nancy: Buster would Nancy: It was obvious how much he wants to be with you Nancy: Gross too but Rio: Yeah Rio: I lowkey stopped him a few times but pretend I didn't admit that he'd only be annoying Nancy: Of course Nancy: I get it now, why he trashed his room that day Nancy: I never did get the real story out of him but it makes so much sense now Rio: That was more about the Chloe thing Nancy: Yeah? Nancy: Oh so he wasn't lying Rio: Don't sound too shocked Nancy: Compared to earlier I'm positively zen Rio: Ha, I have that affect Nancy: You calmed him down that day, didn't you? Nancy: Oh god Nancy: I'm gonna go ahead and repress Rio: Unless you wanna rephrase, probably for the best Nancy: I need you to tell me the safe zones of both our houses so I can exist in there only Nancy: But I also don't wanna know Rio: ... Rio: I dunno if you want me to stay silent or if that says too much Nancy: Please tell me my room was off limits Nancy: I will die Rio: Of course Rio: Not a total animal Nancy: I'm too relieved to argue the pros and cons of what you just said so Rio: 🤐 Nancy: There is one thing I HAVE to ask though Rio: Go on Rio: Slightly concerned but Nancy: Don't worry I'm rolling my eyes at myself Nancy: But be nice to him, yeah? 'Cause I can't but like he's never been in love before Rio: I promise Nancy: He acts tough but I could take him easily Nancy: Especially with things like this Rio: I know Rio: let's not start singing no stranger to heartache though, yeah? Nancy: All I'm saying is, if what happened to me happened to him there'd be nobody left alive Nancy: He's the most dramatic McKenna there is Nancy: Worse than dad and nan put together Rio: I mean, not gonna argue Rio: you are handling it really well, you know Rio: even if you still feel the same mess now as you did then, it doesn't show Nancy: You're the only person who's said anything close to that to me Nancy: So thanks Rio: This family is just shit at talking to each other Rio: not coming for them 'cos well Nancy: I feel like mum is never gonna look at me like she used to Nancy: not to come for Buster's dramatic flair but Rio: I know Rio: She will, she's pretty good Rio: Assume Buster told you she worked it out Nancy: Yeah Nancy: I'd be more shocked if she hadn't 'cause of course Nancy: It's just she's never treated me like I'm stupid before, you know, not with the dyslexia stuff or any of it, but that was before this Rio: Feelings aren't logical though Rio: I reckon she's stinging that SHE didn't know, you know Rio: not for the 'I told you so' or anything but so she could've helped you deal Nancy: I don't know whether to be flattered or horrified that I'm better at keeping secrets than you and him combined Rio: Using all that closet angst you never got to, obviously Nancy: Which reminds me, I can't help wishing Chloe knew about this 'cause of how angry she'd be Rio: I have good news Nancy: REALLY? Nancy: did everyone know but me or what, like? Rio: awks 😬 Rio: but no, her obsession worked to her advantage and she was able to piece together us being at the same place enough times Nancy: Her and mum getting jackets now Nancy: Sorry Drew you missed your chance Rio: Honestly Rio: He did not put the effort in Rio: won't tell you the full deets 'cos you won't wanna know Nancy: umm? Rio: We'll leave it at he may as well have walked in it was that blatant Nancy: OH Nancy: oh my god have you and him ever....when I was there? Rio: Gurl Rio: don't ask Nancy: RIO I KNOW THAT MEANS YES Rio: Shh Nancy: That's despicable Rio: Well that's a bit steep Rio: it's hardly a war crime Nancy: I'm calling it a hate crime Nancy: I can Nancy: I'm gay Rio: 😂 Rio: You clearly didn't hear anything so count yourself lucky Nancy: Please I just assumed it was another posh blonde if I did Nancy: Been there, done my best to ignore that Rio: With this accent? I think not Rio: I was stealth Nancy: I didn't have a glass to the wall sounding out how you said vowels Rio: Trust, you'd know Nancy: CAN YOU NOT Rio: You brought it up! Rio: I'm not trying air my business or his Nancy: I have to go find some ground to swallow me brb Rio: 😏 okay babe Nancy: how is that a euphemism? Rio: idk, your mind, honestly woman Nancy: can you at least promise to keep your hands off each other when I visit or not? Rio: We managed this far, I think we'll be fine Rio: not PDA all the way from here on out, like Nancy: Okay Rio: Thanks, Nance Nancy: For what? Rio: For still being normal with me Nancy: If it was abnormal to fancy Buster I'd be too busy judging half the female population to even speak to you Nancy: Besides, I'm saving my big reinvention for when uni starts, like you said Rio: Yeah? Is that warning me to expect my shade and silent treatment in the post, like? Nancy: Maybe Nancy: Depends what you do between now and then Nancy: You can't see my hair flip but its happening Rio: Oh God, don't become Chloe, like Rio: a misstep if ever there was one Nancy: 😱 Rio: You know, don't be THAT mad I'm with Buster, not goals Nancy: Wash your mouth out Rio: I'm sorry but you never gave me a codename Nancy: That Prick ™️ Nancy: But I meant the comparison between me and her Nancy: That was a deep cut Rio: Yeah, she wishes Nancy: If she tries to date me next just know I predicted it Rio: I'll pray for you Nancy: Such an unholy union what else is there to do? Nancy: I love you but I'm not taking the heat off you that way, like Rio: Not to be that bitch but Rio: kinda owe me twofold now so Rio: tick tock Nancy: BITCH NO Nancy: I also draw the line at boudoir photography Rio: Damn 😂 Nancy: I'll recommend you someone Nancy: They won't be as good obviously Rio: 'Course not Rio: I know my own angles, it's cool Nancy: And nobody loves himself more than him so he's bound to as well Rio: I mean, his feed is pretty poppin' Nancy: 🙄 Rio: 😂 that was just a normal compliment Nancy: How did I not know you're so disgustingly in love? My god Rio: Gay drama, probably Nancy: Sad but true Rio: At least you've got an excuse Rio: everyone else needs a word Nancy: Honestly Rio: Though I'm cool with most of mine skillfully avoiding 'cos I don't need to do this 10x over Nancy: oh no Nancy: imagine Rio: Lucky only some of them are highkey Rio: that's enough Nancy: Yeah Nancy: not that I can say anything 'cause about to excuse myself to cry over my brother having a girlfriend when I don't Rio: Awh babe Rio: wanna hit the town when you come? Nancy: To drink, definitely Nancy: anything else with my track record is a no Rio: Your track record of 1 1/2? Rio: Come to me when you've got at least half a dozen failures, like Nancy: You don't think that's enough mistakes to be making? Rio: Nah Rio: Need I remind you your track record with drinking is not flawless either Rio: but you gotta live, babe Nancy: I'm scared, okay? Rio: That's alright Rio: they won't bite 'less you ask Nancy: 😂 Nancy: What if I'm not ready, I don't wanna fuck anyone over again Rio: It's just the club Rio: harmless, meaningless flirting is the standard Nancy: Yeah? Nancy: Will you actually come with me? Rio: 'Course Nancy: Despite Buster's coffee shop masterclass, which feels like a million years ago anyway, I don't really know what I'm doing Rio: I can show you Rio: but you gotta do it how you would, you know, you can't go too hard with an act Nancy: 🙈 Rio: It'll be fun, been ages since I flirted with a girl Nancy: Don't tell my brother that he'll get bored 😂🙄 Nancy: Help me though I need it Rio: No danger, trust Rio: I will, bring outfit options Nancy: Obviously Nancy: When are we doing this? Nancy: In typical lesbian fashion I need to angst for like 4 years prior Rio: Whenever you can get over Rio: I work most nights but I've got plenty time banked so it won't hurt Nancy: Let's make it happen soon Nancy: Everyone's doing my head in here Rio: Whenever you want, babe Rio: your brother is only as busy as usual so Nancy: Is next weekend too highkey? Rio: Nah, sounds good to me Nancy: Okay Nancy: Anything 🍀 you're missing let me know and I'll pack that too Rio: Just some decent tea, tah Nancy: That ain't even London that's just our house Nancy: Full offense mum Rio: 😂 the real beef comes out Nancy: You missed a chance to say the real tea Nancy: Come on Rio: Damn Rio: really let myself down, like Nancy: mhmm Rio: Ah well, what can ya do Nancy: Do you think if I ask your mum to cat sit while I'm there I'll ever see her again? Rio: Your Ma or the cat? Nancy: Either or Rio: I don't think she's that cold Rio: but one of mine would defs go in and give her TLC Rio: the cat, that is Nancy: 😂 Nancy: I'll text you when my flight's booked then Rio: 👍 See you then babe Nancy: Until then, remember I loved you first 💋 Rio: 😂 Love you too silly bitch