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ultramagicalternate · 1 month

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ULTRAMagic Interlude (BC) Chapter 46

Previous | First | Chaos

Master Post

Auda woke up the next morning and went to Blood-Wraith’s room, wanting to see what he was up to. “Good morning, Blood,” she said with a yawn.

“Morning, Auda,” he replied as he quickly shined his boots on his feet.

“What are you doing?”

“I’m going to go check in with Theobold, see if dad needs my help, and maybe walk around for a bit.”

Auda nodded, acknowledging what he said. “You could also go to the village and see if Tusk is dragging his feet there.”

He paused. “Actually, I might head there after I go to the barracks… You can play my video games if you want. Need me to explain how they work?”

“Nah, they seem pretty simple.” Auda started flipping through one of the instruction manuals of an action game that was sitting near the console

After saying goodbye to Vexation and Drusa, Blood-Wraith left and started heading towards the knight’s barracks. Theobold was not there, but Brenna was more than happy to let him know that the young knight checked in. Hopping over to the Raynot mansion, Blood-Wraith went looking for his father.

“Hey, dad? You around?”

“Hello, son,” Radovan said as he left one of the rooms. “What’s the matter?”

“I’m just wasting time until Tusk shows up… I think. Need help with anything?”

He looked at the boxes that were brought out. “I believe we’re good at the moment. Your mother and I are doing a little more work on the gardens. You can join us if you wish, or you might want to go see Sigmund about Tusk.”

Blood-Wraith nodded, thinking to himself. “Yeah, Auda suggested the same thing.” He sighed. “See you later.”

“Best of luck to you, Blood,” Radovan said as the boy left.

Stepping a safe distance away, Blood-Wraith became Golden Dragon again. With a couple of wing flaps he was at the entrance to the forest in no time at all. Some wondered if turning into a great dragon ever exhausted Blood-Wraith. In truth, it was tiring, but also something he would always enjoy. The walk to the village went fine until Blood-Wraith stepped in a mud puddle, getting his boot all dirty. He complained a little, but ceased when he saw that he was right at the village. Villagers said hello to him as he made his way to Sigmund’s home. Upon knocking on the door, he was greeted by the chief himself.

“Hello, Blood, my boy. What brings you here?”

“Hello, Sigmund. May I come in?”

“Of course, of course. Mind the slight mess. Me and Thora were working on some alchemical formulas the night prior.”

Everything from scrolls, books, bags, and crates were all over the place. Blood-Wraith could tell they had been quite busy. “Sigmund, do you know where Tusk is?”

“I suspect you wish to know what he’s been up to, yes?” Blood-Wraith nodded as Sigmund readied his staff. “Give me one second.” He then tapped his staff on the floor a couple of times.

For some reason Blood-Wraith could sense that something had gone wrong nearby. “So Alexia is hinting at something big, and so is Auda.”

“Indeed. Tusk made an excursion to the Realm of Chaos nearly a month ago. I’ve been getting on his case to go tell you, but he’s been off exploring with his friend, Randalph…”

A moment later, Tusk swung the door open. His face was covered in soot, as if something exploded. He looked quite annoyed. “FATHER! What was that about!? Do you not see this?” He then furiously waved his hand in front of his face.

“Boy, it’s about high time you got Blood here up to speed.”

Tusk wiped his face with a rag, then looked at Blood-Wraith. “Oh hey, Blood. What’s up?”

“Tusk? As a knight of The Iron City, I’d like to ask you to come with me…” He walked up to him. “Please come to my house and tell me what’s been going on. It’s driving me nuts.”

“Right that… shoot. I’m sorry, Blood. I should have told you two weeks ago. Don’t worry, it’s all taken care of so we got all the time in the world…”

“Then use that time to tell Blood about it” Sigmund chided.

Tusk frowned as his father and Blood-Wraith laughed. “Alright, Alright. I’m going…”

After grabbing a few things, Tusk followed Blood-Wraith back to his house. They stopped by a few stores to grab some groceries and then at Herman’s to get some ice cream. This was all at the behest of Tusk, but Blood-Wraith did not mind. He was just glad to have finally gotten a hold of him.

“Alright, I’m back…” Blood-Wraith announced as he entered, him and Tusk focusing on finishing their ice cream.

“There you are, Uncle Tusk,” Auda said as she fiddled with some trading cards on the couch. Blood-Wraith noticed this and looked a little nervous.

“Don’t worry, Blood, she won't hurt them. Hey, Auda. Have fun last night?”

She nodded. “Yeah. I need to sleep over at Blood’s more often.”

A thought occurred to Blood-Wraith in relation to his future plans. “You know, Auda, you could join me during my semester at school.”

Her horns dinged with excitement. “Ooh, could I?”

“I don’t see why not,” Vexation answered.

“Agreed,” Drusa added as they stepped into the room. “It’d get her more acquainted with The Iron City.”

Tusk shrugged. “I’d imagine Skari and Cordelia would be okay with it.”

Vexation nodded. “Oh, Tusk, have you met my wife, Drusa, yet?”

“Um, no. I met Maxima and she did mention you, Drusa. She spoke quite highly of you.”

The goddess giggled. “Well of course she would. I was her teacher after all.”

Vexation took a seat in his usual recliner. “Say, Blood, how about you and Auda go tell your parents about the school thing while I get Tusk acquainted and get Alexia over here?”

“Sure, Vex. Come on, Auda.”

The two briskly walked back to the Raynot mansion and made their way to the backyard. Radovan and Rose were a bit far out, trying to get some saplings planted. It appeared as if they were having trouble with the soil.

“Mom, dad? Can Auda go to school with me?” Blood-Wraith inquired.

“Sure, sweetie,” Rose replied. “As long as it’s okay with her parents.”

“I’ll talk to them tonight,” Auda said with some enthusiastic nodding.

“Very good,” Radovan said as he set a bag down. “Speaking of which, I should speak to Englehart about extending school enrollment to the Tree People. It seems fair enough to me to offer the courtesy given how you are now our neighbors, Auda.”

As Auda cheerfully nodded some more, Rose set a sapling in a bag on the ground. “Thora was mentioning wanting to be a teacher again back in the labyrinth. Perhaps we could even send our own to the forest for classes and lessons.”

“That would be really cool,” Auda said in agreement.

“Oh, Auda? You wouldn’t happen to know any magic relating to botany, would you?”

Auda took a look at what she figured was the problem spot. “Give me a moment, Mrs. Raynot.”

What ensued was a thorough inspection of the ground with the Raynot’s quietly watching as Auda worked. First she took some soil and rubbed it between her fingers. She then ate some. Following that, she sniffed the ground and even licked it. It was a quirky set of tests, but it was clear that Auda was on to something. After one more visual inspection, she sat down to think.

“So what’s the verdict, Auda?” Blood-Wraith asked.

“The soil. It needs some umph to it…”

“Does it need some fertilizer or clovers?” Rose wondered.

“Hum…” Auda put her hand before her eyes and pulled out the tiniest flame from her core. After saying some kind of spell, the ember turned into a decently sized fireball. “Let’s see…”

Rose watched as Auda put the flame into the ground, causing some nearby wilted flowers to perk up and bloom. “How wonderful,” she congratulated as she clapped. “I think you may have fixed the issue, Auda.”

“Thanks. The problem was probably a lack of energy in the soil due to how far out we are.”

“How interesting,” Radovan remarked. “Looks like you have your grandmother's green thumb, Auda.”

As he said that, Auda picked up a signal of sorts on her horns from Tusk. Alexia was at Blood-Wraith’s house, so it was time to head back. When they arrived, everyone was at the dining table, chatting and waiting patiently.

“Welcome back,” Tusk said. “So how’d it go? Are Rose and Radovan down for you going to school with Blood, Auda?”

“Yup, I just need to ask mom and dad first” she answered as she sat down.

“Hey, Alexia,” Blood-Wraith said as he also sat down. “Last night go well?”

“Certainly. Tiberius’ room is just how he left it. I plan to stay there when I’m not at the guild.”

“Awesome. Now Tusk, the Realm of Chaos?”

He chuckled and took a deep breath. “Of course. So I’m going to preface this tale by saying that I’ve been there before. While dad was my teacher, Ealdhelm the Destroyer was my mentor. I know he sounds fearsome and he is, but he’s also one of the greatest people you’ll ever work with. Ealdhelm helped explain a lot of concepts that didn’t make sense to me.”

“So who is this Ealdhelm then?” Blood-Wraith questioned.

“He is the leader of The Arbiters of Droom,” Alexia responded. “They are a group of six, mighty ULTRAMagic warriors stationed in the city of Droomopolis. Their roots are in the Epoch of the Cosmos, as I was tutored by Waltheof the Shield when I first achieved ULTRAMagic.”

“They are some of the strongest mages around, Blood,” Tusk continued. “Ealdhelm could have easily crushed Milosh and the Lich with one arm tied behind his back.”

“So why didn’t he?” Blood-Wraith was perplexed to say the least.

“Well he and the arbiters were dealing with the Discordant Gods of Chaos at the time.”

That gave Blood-Wraith chills. “Were those gods that bad?”

“They’re certainly a handful,” Tusk said with a light laugh. “Ealdhelm was able to lend us a hand despite that. Remember that sword I used during the final battle with the Lich?”

Blood-Wraith thought back to then. “Yeah, I was wondering where that came from.”

Auda looked a little antsy, as if she really wanted to say something. “Blood, Ealdhelm is the strongest. I should know as I went there. Also Quasar wants to join the guild.”

“Who’s Quasar?” Blood-Wraith continued to be confused.

Tusk laughed. “Let’s not get ahead of ourselves, Auda; but yeah, this little stinker snuck into Droomopolis. As for Quasar, let’s just say Ulrich, the Discordant God of Gravity, would like for his son to join the guild when he’s ready.”

Blood-Wraith shrugged. “Alright then, fine with me. The more the merrier.”

“Anyways, enough preamble. Let’s get into this. So it all started the day after I got back to the village from Corentin and Kresimira’s wedding…”

To be continued…

Next: Chaos

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golbrocklovely · 2 years

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I’ve worked in retail for years (including walmart) and I’ve never heard of having too many items for self checkout??? Even at a smaller store…that’s just weird. I would’ve been put off about it too.

I can understand having a bad day, but I never took it out on anyone. Especially customers. So like, what’s his deal lol? Maybe I’m a tad bit dramatic but it sounds like he’s like ….targeting you? Idk, if it was me I would complain if it happened again. My anxiety would never allow me back into the store.

that's the thing, there wasn't a sign saying "you can only have X amount of items" or anything like that. i think, highkey, he was just kinda being a dick to me for some reason. i don't think he recognized me bc i've only ever interacted with him these two times, but… maybe???

in these type of instances, i try my best to give the benefit of the doubt. like, maybe he was having a shit day, maybe i was somehow holding him up from taking his break, maybe he did remember me from the last time and idk… doesn't like me bc of it. not sure tbh. but i remember our last interaction, and it wasn't like i thru a hissy-fit or something. i literally was just like "oh" and kept it moving lol

i think, like many ppl, he kinda sees the self checkout area as like "oh i have two items, might as well scan them myself" which is great and i get that. but, if i want scan my items myself, and i have a lot of items, then i'm allowed to do that.

and like i said in my rant, there was only one lane open to begin with, that also had a line. when i went to self checkout, out of the six registers, there was only 4 taken (if that) so it wasn't like i was holding up the line or something. well, at least not in that moment lol

bc i'm serious, when he said that to me, part of me wanted to be a bitch strictly bc like… he's wrong. but 9/10 times when ppl act like assholes to me, i just kinda blink at them and walk away. so the very next best thing i could do in that moment is become a problem and hold up the line (but also not really since there is five other registers ppl can go to).

i will say, it was funny at one point bc right after he said that to me, these two ladies came up and were trying to buy three cases of water bc they swore up and down that the sign said buy 2 get one 1 free. he had to call a manager over and everything and honestly it was kinda funny to see him get annoyed sksks

and i've been going to this store longer than this person has been working there. even with my social anxiety, i ain't gonna stop going bc he's a dick. if it's that bad, i'll go full karen mode. well, maybe not that badly, but like i would DEFINITELY talk to a manager bc at that point it's either personal or he's just a shitty worker.

this is gonna be a slight tangent to everything but also not.

so like i mentioned before, my family when we would go food shopping, we would buy a lot of stuff. kinda like do a whole month shopping in one trip. and the amount of times ppl would see us walk up the registers with our cart overflowing with food and just look so annoyed always confused me as a kid and still does now.

bc what is the difference (when you're a cashier) between let's say five ppl coming up with a couple items a piece, or two ppl coming up with bigger orders. like…. i just don't get it. it always felt like the cashiers i interacted with liked the smaller item orders over the bigger ones when… why does it matter? you're still standing there for a couple hours at a time. when i worked registers in the past, i didn't give a shit and a half if someone had one item or twenty. i get it if maybe a huge line is forming behind them, but even then, it's not my responsibility to open up a new line. ppl gotta wait. sorry, it's just how it is.

#ask #personal

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falcqns · 3 years

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Hiiii! Long rant ahead 😅-

Can I please request a Bucky x civilian!fem!reader (Avengers au! Endgame never happened au! Bucky joined the Avengers au!) where Sam & Steve are friends with a civilian girl who Bucky starts to really like (but Bucky being Bucky, he’d be worried she would be scared of him, & he thinks he’s a monster 🥺 so he wouldn’t admit he likes her), she really likes him too, & one day when she’s spending the night at the Avengers HQ, he has another nightmare & she calms him down & goes to sleep on the floor with him & they cuddle & he kisses her 🥺 The next morning, Sam & Steve would go up to Bucky’s floor & see them cuddling on the floor of Bucky’s living room🥺 The rest of the Avengers would come up there out of curiosity & Tony would tease them so much & try to take pictures lol. Steve & Sam would be smug but also really happy for Bucky because she’d be good for him 🥺🥺🥺 Sam would annoy Bucky so much about it 😂😂💜🥰

you could never hurt me

pairing: Bucky Barnes x civilian!fem!reader

warnings: angst, fluff, soft!Bucky, almost sub!Bucky which I love and wanna write more of but im scared too bc idk if people want that, Tony being a dumb ass as usual, Sam and Steve are good friends

a/n: this got wayyy more fluffier than I planned on bc I've been diving into the little!Bucky tag on AO3 too much and he’s always such a sweetheart and I wanna write some but im too scared I’ll get hated on eep. Hope you enjoy and thank you for the request!

God, you adored Bucky.

Despite everything he had been through, he was such a sweetheart. He had a softness to him, a softness he didn’t show most people.

You really didn’t expect to fall for him when you started running with Sam and Steve a few months prior, but you definitely weren’t complaining. However, despite the softness you saw, he seemed to hate you.

You didn’t know why. He was never verbally rude, he’d often leave a room as soon as you’d enter it, and avoid you as much as possible.

You’d been over to the compound plenty of times, but you had never spent the night. Tonight was Tony’s birthday party, and you wanted to talk to Bucky about why he hated you so much, but you didn’t see him at the party, or after. According to Steve, he hated parties, and tended to lock himself in his bedroom until the party was over, when he would venture out and eat some of the left over food.

Once the party was over, you and the rest of the avengers, except Bucky, were sat in one of the many common areas drinking a few more beers before everyone retired for the night.

You heard Bucky’s door shut behind him, and watched as he walked into the kitchen. The team seemed to completely ignore his presence, and that stung a little bit. Did they not see the sweet and innocent Bucky that you, Sam and Steve saw? You shook the thought out of your head as Bucky trudged back to his room with some food and a drink in his hand, completely ignoring his teammates.

You sighed internally, and decided to bring it up another time.

You had just settled into your bed for the night, when you heard noises from Bucky’s room, which was right beside yours. You ignored them at first, thinking they were just him moving around and getting ready for bed, just like you had moments before. But, soon you started to hear different noises.

You stood up from the bed, and pressed your ear against the wall that separated the two rooms. It sounded like he was trying to call out for someone, and couldn't. Like he wanted to talk so badly, but his words were catching in his throat. You feared that he could be severely hurt, so you ran out of your room and knocked on his door.

“Bucky, you okay?” You said, and the sounds only continued. As they got louder, you knocked again, but there was still no answer. You tried the door knob, but it was locked. You looked down the hallways and was tempted to knock on Steve’s door. You wanted to make sure he was okay and you were definitely not strong enough to kick the door in.

Just as you were reaching Steve’s door, you heard a low shout, and sobs rip through the air. You ran back to the room and tried the door handle, which was still locked. You breathed deeply, as you tried to figure out what to do. Suddenly, an idea popped into his head.

“F.R.I.D.A.Y.?” You asked hesitantly, and she answered right away.

“What can I assist you with Ms Y/L/N?”

You breathed in relief. “Can you unlock Bucky’s door for me?”

“Sergeant Barnes has restricted access to his room. The only one who was access is Captain Rogers.” You groaned.

“I just want to make sure he’s okay. He can get mad at me all he wants for breaking into the room but he doesn't sound okay,” You reasoned.

F.R.I.D.A.Y. responded instantly. “I agree. His heart rate and blood pressure are rising. I will unlock the door.” A second later, a low click was heard, and this time when you tried the door, it unlocked and you stepped into Bucky’s room.

The sight of him broke your heart.

He had abandoned his blankets on the floor and crawled into one of the corners. His knees were pulled up to his chest, and his forehead was resting on his knees as he cried his poor heart out. You rushed over, and crouched in front of him.

“Bucky? Are you okay?” You asked, and he shook his head, trembling slightly. You heard his teeth chattering, so you grabbed the comforter from behind you, and wrapped it around his shoulders. His cries slowed slightly, and he looked up at you.

“W-why are you helping me?” He asked, stuttering slightly.

You furrowed your brows. “You’re obviously not doing well, and I want to help you. Why wouldn't I help you?”

Bucky choked out a laugh. “I thought you'd be scared of me. Of what I can do. Of what I've done.”

You sat criss cross apple sauce in front of him, and took his metal hand into your flesh one. You held it up, and intertwined your fingers with his. “I’m not scared of you.” You said simply, and Bucky nodded, a faint blush appearing on his cheeks.

He looked down at his lap. “I could hurt you.”

You scoffed and moved closer. Without letting go of his hand, you manoeuvred to your knees, and pushed his legs down flat. You straddled his lap, you free hand rising and tangling in his locks that were wet from both his shower and sweat. “You could never hurt me.” You stated, your hand in his hair sliding down to cup his jaw, your thumb rubbing against his soft and kissable cheek.

You watched as a tear slipped from his eye, and danced like a rain drop in a carwash down his soft but still stubbly cheek and jaw.

“Why are you so nice to me? I don’t deserve it.” He whispered, his chin trembling. You smiled sadly and wiped the tear away.

“You are is deserving of everything sweetheart. You’re such a sweetie pie and it sucks that the rest of your team doesn't see it, because you deserve all the loves and cuddles you could get. What you did, that wasn’t you. It may have been your body, but it wasn't you. You have been treated so harshly by so many people, including those who were supposed to protect you from those who did hurt you, when all you deserve is such kindness.” You said, and smiled when Bucky practically melted into your embrace, his head burying itself in your neck. He unraveled your fingers, and wrapped his arms around your waist, his face nuzzling in your neck.

“Thank you. No ones ever said something that nice to me,” He said, and you felt his eyes flutter closed against the skin of your neck, finally at peace.

“You deserve it.” You said, and you pulled away slightly. He let out a whine, but then his eyes widened, almost expecting you to hurt him. Your heart melted and you pressed a kiss to his forehead.

“It’s okay if you’re feeling vulnerable, baby. I’m right here. I won't leave, and I won't hurt you. Let’s lay down okay?” You said, and he sniffled as he nodded and followed you groggily over to where his blankets were on the floor. You laid down, and opened your arms, inviting him in.

He laid down in your arms, and his face found your neck again. He breathed in slightly, and sat up on his elbow suddenly. You furrowed your brow, but all the questions that were swirling in your head were answered when he pressed his lips against yours. You smiled into the kiss, and cupped his jaw again as your lips moved together slowly and sensually.

The kiss broke a few moments later, and you ran a hand through Bucky’s hair, a dopy smile spreading on his face.

You opened your arms again. “Come lay down, love.” You said, and he instantly complied, his body finding its previous position. You heard his breathing even out seconds later, and knew he was finally getting the sleep he deserved.

The next morning, Steve and Sam went looking all over the compound for you, and couldn’t find you anywhere. They walked past Bucky’s room once more, and made eye contact.

“You don’t think-”

“Theres no way-” They said at the same time, and decided to look.

A smile cracked on both their faces when they saw you and Bucky, still curled up on the floor.

A flash went off, and they turned to face Tony. “Fuckin’ finally. Been waiting for Tin Man to make a move for months.” He said, and Steve smacked him upside the head.

Taglist:

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#sebastian stan x reader #sebastian stan x ofc #sebastian stan x you #bucky fluff #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes x y/n #bucky barnes one shot #bucky barnes au #bucky barnes x female oc #bucky barnes fic #bucky barnes angst #fluff #angst #avengers #mcu

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havethetimeofyourstyles · 4 years

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in which harry is the right person at the wrong time.

a/n: hi lovelies! here is my christmas fic for @goldenbluesuit ‘s xmas challenge! i chose the song ‘baby, it’s cold outside’ and it’s my FAVORITE xmas song, so i’ve included bits and pieces of the song throughout the story! hope you all like it, and happy holidays! pls rb and send feedback bc they’re very helpful :)

WORD COUNT: 9.6k of ex lovers to lovers, teacher!harry x lawstudent!yn filled with slight angst, missing someone dearly, and fluff

WARNINGS: mentions of alcohol consumption

COME INTO MY INBOX AND LETS TALK ABOUT ‘BABY, IT’S COLD OUTSIDE’ i’d love to know your thoughts!

pls rb to share! <3

17 December 2020

A chilly and snowy night was upon you as you took a shot of hard liquor. The face of disgust appeared on your face as the liquid slowly went down your throat after you hammered the shot of tequila.

Normally, you wouldn’t pregame when you were going to your friend, Addie’s, house where you would drink some more, but you needed to shake off your nerves that you felt at the moment. You took a deep breath after taking your second shot and you had physically felt yourself starting to relax.

Rolling your head to stretch your neck out, you decided it was time to leave since it was nearing seven in the evening. You called yourself an Uber because of the alcohol in your system and you were planning to sleep over Addie’s place since she said she would bring you back in the morning before you had to go to work.

You waited for your Uber by the front door while you looked in the mirror, putting your black beanie onto your head. You were bundled up in a black university sweater, a camel color coat over, along with tan lounge pants and a pair of black boots. Once you got a notification that your Uber driver, Jason, was in front of your house, you grabbed your overnight bag and headed out the door.

You placed the hood of your sweater over your beanie so you got more warmth since it was quite cold. You were never one for the cold weather, which is unfortunate since you lived in London. You cherished the days where it was sunny and warm; the sun bright and warm as you laid on the grass in complete content.

You missed those days. You missed the days where you didn’t worry about a singular thing.

Looking out the window, on your way to your destination, you watched the snow slightly fall, hitting and building up on the ground while the pedestrians walked through the streets, bundled up in thick layers of clothing. Some people were with others, walking hand in hand or hugging each other through the cold. Even though it was freezing cold outside, there were smiles on their faces because the hold of one another was enough. They could get through the worst snowfall, but if they were in each other’s arms, it wouldn't matter; they could get through anything.

The cold had reminded you that you were missing a pair of strong arms that should’ve been around you through this season, but you were completely frozen—left out in the cold to warm yourself up.

You sighed and the car stopped in front of Addie’s place. You thanked your driver, wishing him a ‘Happy Holidays’ before you got out and buzzed your best friend’s apartment onto the buzzer system; hearing one back, you entered the complex while brushing your shoes onto the floor mat, so you wouldn’t slip while going up the stairs.

You were grateful the building was warm, and you’re sure Addie would crank up the heat for you since you would always complain how ‘bloody cold’ it is all the time.

Once you opened the door, you were met with your entire friend group who were all lounging around in the living area. They all faced the door once you walked in, seeing who the last friend to arrive. Greetings were sent towards you, Addie and Nic got up from their spots on the couch that they’re going to lose because behind them, Elijah and Niall were getting up from their spots on the floor to steal it.

“Hey! There you are! We were all waiting for you,” Addie said, giving you a hug.

Nic went in for a hug before she pulled back and looked at you suspiciously. You looked at her confusingly, wondering why she was looking at you the way she was before she said, “Did you party before you came here?” You furrowed your brows until you remembered that she probably smelt the alcohol that you took before you left.

“Oh, uh, just took a couple of shots before I came here.” The two girls understood quite well, thankfully.

“No worries! Come join,” Addie welcomed you in. The two went back to the living area, only to see that their spots were taken, so they grabbed the two boys’ arms, yanking them out of their seats. You chuckled as you walked to Addie’s room to put all of your belongings.

Once you did that, you exited her room the same time the bathroom door opened across her room. The person in front of you was the reason why you were so anxious before you left; why you needed to relax for a bit and mentally prepare yourself before going to Addie’s place.

The person in front of you was Harry Styles.

The person who had your heart.

The person you were deeply in love with still.

The person who was your ex boyfriend.

“Hi,” he said surprisingly, smiling a bit.

“Hi, Harry,” you replied, inching towards him as he met you halfway. He wrapped his arms around your shoulders as you did the same around his waist, resting your cheek onto his chest. The hug was warm and comforting, like it always was, and you looked forward to these kinds of hugs every time you saw him. But your heart ached every single time.

Pulling away, you gave him a small smile before you two walked out of the hallway and to where your friends were. There was laughter between the two girls and guys as Niall was telling them a joke. Nic was the one who saw you and Harry first, and her laughter died down. She looked at you concerningly, giving you those eyes as if they were asking if you were okay, and you nodded your head to reassure her. You and Harry join the group; you sat on the loveseat on one side of the rectangle wooden table, while Harry sat on the floor on the other side.

You tried joining in on the conversation and laughter, but you couldn’t help but take sneaky glances back to Harry, only to find him getting glances at you as well.

It was hard to focus on anything your friends were saying when Harry was in the same room, but you realized it was also difficult when he wasn’t in the same room because then you were wondering where he was.

It wasn’t easy being friends with Harry after the breakup, good friends, especially; and it pained you to actually act normal around him when all you wanted to do was scream, cry, and have him comfort you. But you did your very best to maintain a cool, calm, and collected mood whenever you’re around him, although inside, your heart was racing and everything you said seemed incoherent.

You tried your best to avoid him after you two split, and he did as well, but being part of the same friend group just didn’t go well with your wishes. You two had to suck it up and be normal around each other.

Being with Harry was possibly the best eight months of your life. To some, it’s not the longest amount of time, but he was one of a kind; you couldn’t find anyone out there like him--not like you were looking anyways. It genuinely felt like you’ve been together for years, and when you two were celebrating your six month anniversary, your friends had questioned you saying ‘It’s only been six months?!’

Your relationship with Harry was all things blissful. It was pure happiness and love, and you wouldn’t want it with anyone else. You two rarely got into fights, and if you did, it was most likely a petty and annoyed argument that would have you two back in each other’s arms only twenty minutes after. He was your fresh breath of air that made you laugh and orgasm…multiple times.

It was all smiles and laughs until it wasn’t.

You two had gotten together the second semester of senior year. Meeting at the library because you couldn’t reach a book, it didn’t take long for you both to get together. You had known him for two weeks until he asked you out on a date where he kissed you for the first time. The dates and kisses continued on for six months until you mutually decided to call it quits.

It wasn’t an easy decision, but considering that Harry was going to a different school that was in a different country for his master’s degree in education for the fall semester, and you were also in the midst of your career; interning at a law firm didn’t quite clear up your schedule, only making you busier by the hour. There was barely any time for the two of you to spend time with each other with how busy and hectic your lives were, so there would most likely be no calls coming in or distant texts that were sent out to make it seem like the void had disappeared.

Like two mature adults, you and Harry called it quits after the summer. He moved away to get his master’s and you kept yourself busy at the law firm. It wasn’t easy--still isn’t easy, but it was for the best. The both of you needed to focus on your careers and yourself before you two were ready enough to get back together. That’s if Harry wanted to get back together anyways.

Of course you wanted to get back together with him, but you didn’t know where he stood on that, or if he was even seeing someone. Throughout the two years that he was away, you only saw him during summer and winter breaks, so he could possibly be seeing someone whenever he goes back to school. But now that he had moved back again, your mind was spiraling because now you got to see him more.

Finally, you broke out of your trance, once again thinking about Harry, you saw him looking at you. The both of you completely tuned out to the conversation and laughter coming from your friends. You held your wine glass up, Harry doing the same while smirking before you both sipped your drinks, hoping the sweet wine would relax your bodies.

Nic was picking out a small paper out of the Santa hat Addie was holding. She took a quick peek at it before, smirking to herself before Addie moved over to you for your turn. As you chose your Secret Santa, you hoped it was a good one. It’s not like you didn’t love your friends, some of them were picky, and by some, you mean Nic.

You looked at the piece of paper, smiling before shoving it into your pocket. Addie moved onto Harry who was the last one to choose, and you watched him as he looked at the paper like it was a poker hand. He raised his brows, smirking before he looked up and started to fold the paper. Your eyes looked down at his polished hands, noticing that he still wears the same rings as he did when you first met him. Your favorites were his initial, thinking how incredibly sexy and alluring they looked on him as he walked around confidently. You’ve stolen them multiple times as well, even if they were too big on you, but the thought of walking around with Harry’s name on you just seemed so enticing.

Niall’s laughter brought you out of your sensual thoughts about Harry’s hands and you realized you were caught staring, and Harry knew exactly what you were looking at with the amount of times he’s caught you staring and fantasizing about his hands. Plus, you openly told him that you had a thing for his hands.

A smug smile was seen from Harry, so you took your attention away from him and towards your friends.

“So, what do we say? $50 limit?” Nic suggested, and Elijah rolled his eyes.

“Why are you trying to make me broke? You know I have a huge family, like, 15 cousins!” Elijah debates.

Nic gasped dramatically. “I’m offended you don’t consider us family, Eli!” Elijah playfully rolls his eyes again, turning his head to the side as he smiled into his shoulder, blushing a bit.

You chuckled at their playful banter. You’re a bit surprised they hadn’t gotten together yet because ever since you met them, you could practically feel the tension between them. They were just too stubborn to admit that they liked each other.

“Okay, how about we make it maximum $30?” Harry pitched in. Your eyes had immediately averted to him, and it was like he captured you just by the sound of his voice. “We have exactly six days to get our gifts,” he added. Your friend group has always been one for procrastinating. Everyone is so busy these days that it gets harder to plan hangouts where the entire group could go, but you were all family, so if the gatherings were at three in the morning, everyone would be there.

The group agreed, telling him that was a solid number. You caught Harry’s eye and he softly smiled at you. Giving him one back, you suddenly felt nervous as he smiled, so you chugged the rest of your wine and walked to the kitchen to open a new bottle to bring to the living area.

The bottle made a loud pop sound, which earned an in sync ‘Woo!’ from the group as it was a tradition you all created whenever a new bottle of wine was being opened. Smiling to yourself, you poured yourself a glass before downing it. As you were doing so, Harry walked into the kitchen with his own glass in his hand.

“Hogging all the wine, aren’t you, Y/N?” He teased to clear the awkward and anxious tension between you two, and luckily, you stifled out a giggle.

“You know me and my wine.” You refilled his empty glass while taking a sip of yours. Once you fill it halfway, he clinked your glasses together before taking a sip. His lips meeting the sweet but bitter taste of red wine that you so wished was your lips. The way he curled his lips into his mouth and licking his lips, tasting the flavor had you daydreaming such sultry things about his lips.

You cleared your throat, breaking yourself out of your gaze. “How are you, H? How’s work?”

Harry’s cheeks warmed up at the simple nickname. “I’m doing good, yeah. Work is good. The school is great.” This was Harry’s first semester teaching, and he absolutely loved it. He loved being in the classroom setting, interacting and making sure his students understood the material. He wanted to teach elementary kids, but that would require knowing various subjects when he wanted to focus more on ninth grade English.

“I’m happy for you,” you confessed. You were happy for him, but you wanted to be happy with him. “I know you’re a great teacher, and your students must love you.” You bumped him with your hip gently.

“They’re great. A couple of them have this weird crush on me for some reason.”

“I mean how could they not.” You realized you said that out loud, and you’re fully blaming the alcohol and the few glasses of wine that you already had, leaving you with a rosy cheek tint glow. Harry didn’t say anything but smug as he continued to sip on his drink. You slipped past him to join your friends, and Harry followed. Addie gave you a knowing look, hoping to communicate with just her eyes as she saw you and Harry walk out of the kitchen together, and you simply nodded, gesturing that you were okay.

The rest of the night went by quite fun as the boys helped Addie hang up the rest of her decorations while scoffing and rolling her eyes because they weren’t cooperating. You and Nic were sitting on the floor watching and laughed, pouring yourselves more glasses of wine. Your heart skipped a few beats as you watched Harry the entire time, laughing and smiling, and sometimes looking over at you just to get a simple glance at your face to suffice his heart from the heartache of not being able to hold or kiss you.

You’ve always liked shopping alone. Shopping with Nic and Addie could be stressful, no matter how much you loved them. You would only go to the shoppes with them if you weren’t looking for anything to buy, but since you were Christmas shopping and the stores were getting busier counting down to Christmas day, you had passed on their invitation to shop with them. There was nobody bugging or nagging you, causing you to get distracted; just you, a basketful of snacks, and Christmas music playing through your headphones.

You couldn’t wait to give your Secret Santa gift because you’ve put a lot of thought into it ever since you found out who your receiver was. You’ve been doing Secret Santa with your friends since the third year of college. At first, your friends group was only you, Nic, Addie, and Niall—you’ve known Niall since you were sixteen, and you met the girls your first year of uni—until Nic met Elijah during the second semester of junior year, who was quickly accepted, and then you met Harry.

You’ve all become a close knit of friends, and each and every single one of you have met other people, but there was nothing like this group. With bonding and connecting so well, all you needed was each other, and you couldn’t be more grateful.

As you were looking at the collection of whiskey, you felt a body brush passed you, slightly bumping into you as they tried getting through the narrow aisle. You jolted forward a tad bit, making you take a step forward to let the person behind you pass through.

“So sorry,” the familiar voice said. The music playing through your headphones was not even halfway up since you still wanted to be aware of your surroundings, but you could recognize that voice anywhere.

Turning around to look at the person behind you, sure enough, it was the one and only.

“Harry?” You called out, taking out your headphones. He turned around, and once he saw you, he immediately smiled.

“H-Hi. I didn’t expect to see you,” he nervously blurted out a false statement. He knew that this was your go to store and you would always drag him there because they always had your favorite snacks in stock.

You chuckled. “Yeah, I didn’t expect to see you here either.” Unlike his statement, yours was true. When you were with him, he would always ask you why you couldn’t stop at any of the other shops because this one was on the other side of where you lived. But you simply told him that it was because you would feel like you would be cheating on this store with the others because this was your go-to place, and the employees here were just lovely.

“Shopping for yourself?” Harry asked.

You looked down at your basket. “Oh, no. For my Secret Santa. What about you? What are you doing here?”

“I, uh, I was on this side of town and,” he turned around to face the wine section before grabbing a bottle of Pinot Noir. “Just needed to get this,” he said as he held it up.

“Night in?”

“Hmm, yeah,” he nodded.

“With…someone, or?” You tried your best to not show your anxiousness when you asked him if he was having a night in with someone that’s not you.

Harry’s eyes widened and he shook his head. “No, no. Not with anyone…” Your shoulders relaxed and a small smile appeared on your face. You slightly nodded your head, containing your relief. “You look great!” He complimented. You were wearing your work attire; a black pencil skirt with a white silk, semi turtleneck long sleeve, and a black coat thrown over. You were also in nude heels, which weren’t the best to shop in, but you had forgotten to bring a change of shoes.

You blushed. “Thank you. I came here straight from work.” Harry’s brows raised. You were always one for a sense of style, so he wasn’t surprised that you would look this good going to work.

“Really? How is work going, by the way?”

“Good, actually. I’m still interning at the law firm, so I’m pretty busy. But overall it’s great! A lot of research, mock cases, and sometimes the interns get to sit and watch in the courtroom. It’s pretty thrilling,” you said excitedly. Harry smiled, missing how you would explain things so eagerly. “This is my last year interning, so hopefully I could work at the law firm I’m already interning at, and become a permanent lawyer there.”

“I’m sure they’d love to have you there. You’re great, really. They’d be stupid to let you go…” he trailed off. There was a double meaning to his words, and you were wondering if Harry thought he was dumb enough to let you go. Not wanting to dwell on his words any longer, you murmured a soft ‘Thanks’ to him and smiled. Harry nodded, mentally beating himself up over his words and how he was really the stupid one to let you go.

“I, uh, should go, or my sister will be suspicious,” you chuckled. “I hope you have a great night, Harry.” You grabbed a bottle of whiskey before walking passed him. You weren’t even done shopping, but you couldn’t be in the same room as him without thinking of the memories that had always lingered, making you nostalgic and sad because you don’t know if you would be able to make more memories with him.

Harry was left alone in the aisle as he watched you walk over to the register to pay for your items. Just when you were done, you looked up, giving him a soft smile and waving at him before you turned around and walked out of the store. Harry’s heart fluttered, but at the same time, it was pounding through his chest. He mentally cursed himself for being so nervous around you, making an awkward tension fill the air. He couldn’t tell you what you were really doing at your store--no, he couldn’t.

Because what would you say if he told you that he’s been going to your store ever since you two broke up and whenever he’s in town just because it reminded him of you. The four walls somewhat mended his broken heart as he felt comfort inside of the shop because some of his best memories of you are in this very store. And since he couldn’t step into your apartment to immediately feel at home, your favorite store would have to do…for now.

Right when you entered Addie’s home, you were met with the loud music of the holiday season, along with Addie, Nic, and Elijah singing the lyrics to one another as they jumped and danced with a glass of their preferred alcohol in their hand.

They hadn’t heard the door open since the music was quite loud, so you took the opportunity to take a quick video of them as you smiled at your lovely friends, who felt so careless at the moment. Once the song ended, you put your phone away, and Eli was the one who spotted you first.

“Ah, there she is!” He walked over to you, giving you a big hug. You giggled as he slightly picked you up from the ground and twirling you. You were sure that he was already buzzed, and you were wondering how many glasses he’s had already, or if he pregamed by himself to calm himself down for talking to Nic, just like you had done to prepare you for a night with Harry, which you hadn’t done tonight.

There was a part of you that wanted to take a shot or two to ease your nerves, but you realized that you needed to stop doing that because as far as you know, you and Harry are most likely going to be friends for a long time. So, drinking almost every week did not sound fun to you.

Nic poured you a glass of wine, clinking your glasses together as you took your first sip of alcohol that night. You helped Addie set up the food onto the table along with some Christmas designed plates and utensils. Just as you were counting the utensils, you heard a loud Santa laugh coming from Niall, making everyone turn their heads towards the door. Niall walked in, carrying a bag-full of presents and Harry followed with a three foil wrapped aluminum trays in his hands as he chuckled at Niall’s way of making himself known. Your face immediately heated up at the sight of your ex-boyfriend because he looked good.

Although you loved every version of Harry, there was something about Harry Styles in the snowy winter that made your knees weak. He was bundled up in a sweater with a coat tossed over, and he wore boots. His hair was slightly messy from the wind as he shook off the snow that had fallen onto his locks. His nose was always red too, and when he would press a kiss to your cheek, you would feel the icy cold tip of his nose, contrasting to your warm cheeks. And it’s a tragedy that you’ve never spent a winter season with him when you were together, only two Christmases after the breakup.

Winter Harry was your favorite, and all you wanted to do was snuggle up with him.

Niall and Harry made their rounds to greet everyone, and Harry would always make sure you were the last one he greeted, just so he could hold and hug you a little longer.

“Merry Christmas Eve, Eve,” you said once he got to you. He smiled and chuckled, wrapping his arms around your shoulders. You laid your head against his chest, taking in his scent and natural warmth, even though he just came from the cold. “What’d you bring?” You asked once you pulled away.

“I brought the cheesy garlic bread, brussel sprouts, and crab cakes,” he smiled.

You gasped. “Your specialty. My mouth is already watering.”’ You clapped your hands in excitement.

Harry giggled, leaning against the kitchen countertop. “Sure is, and it’s some of your favorite dishes of mine too,” he remembered. You blushed, heart fluttering as he didn’t forget your favorite foods.

Harry was always a chef of his own; he loved cooking. Learning from Anne, he made it his mission to make his own homemade food after he moved out, and she would always tell him that you could always show your love through food. From there, he learned more about cooking and seemed to love everything about it. Whenever the group has gatherings for special occasions and everyone agrees for a potluck, Harry always made sure to talk to everyone and see what they wanted him to cook.

When you two were together, he did the majority of the cooking. There would be times when you wanted to help, but he would simply tell you that you needed to let him do it and relax. That was something you loved about him—he was always a giver and didn’t expect to receive anything back, in more than one way.

You and Harry were definitely ones for staying in, and he would always whip up the best food that was filled with so much love and flavor.

“Once you two are done loving over there, we’d like some help over here!” Niall called out from the dining area. Your eyes widened as Harry’s cheeks turned pink. Harry held his arm out, gesturing you to go first, and you walked out of the kitchen as he followed behind you.

The group’s attention and eyes were on you and Harry, and your brows furrowed as you mouthed a ‘What?’ at them, and they instantly went back to setting up the food as if nothing happened. You turned around to look at Harry confusingly and he shrugged his shoulders, just as confused.

The music was playing, the decorations were lit up, and the food was settling into everyone’s stomach, followed by drinks as a warm feeling laid over everyone. It was overall a great time with them as it always was, and since Christmas was coming up in just two days, the merry feeling was always everyone’s moods.

As everyone was laughing and having a great time, Addie had gotten a knock from her neighbor, asking if everyone could keep the volume down. Everyone was holding in their laugh because you all hadn’t realized how loud you’ve gotten.

“I’m pretty sure they knew it was going to be a long night when it was just the three of them dancing and screaming,” you pointed out to Addie, Nic, and Elijah, and they all laughed, agreeing.

“Wait, what?” Niall asked confusingly.

“Right when I walked in, they were screaming at the top of their lungs. Wait, I have a video.” You pulled your phone out of the front pocket of your sweater and showed Niall the twenty second video.

He cackled. “Hey, thanks for waiting for us,” he teased, giving your phone back to you.

You leaned back onto Harry’s leg, since you were sitting on the floor and he was sitting on the chair behind you, and you looked up at him to show him the video. He leaned forward, placing his forearms on his thighs as you shifted closer to him so you were sitting in between his legs. Harry’s lips curled into his mouth, and he was grateful that you weren’t facing him because he was flustered. You pressed play, and he watched as he chuckled, watching his friends have a good time.

“Wait, I also wanted to show you this video,” you mentioned once the video was over. You scrolled through your pictures, and Harry was watching you go through your camera roll. He saw pictures of buildings, food, you and the girls, and some of them were just of you. Before he could really think about your own pictures, you found the video of your family dog and showed Harry.

As you and Harry were watching the video, your four other friends were eyeing you two and whispering things to each other suspiciously. Nic took a few pictures of the moment because the sight was just so cute, but everyone was wondering when you two were getting back together.

And you were wondering the same.

For a few minutes, you and Harry were in your own little world as you two talked about your family; never making the effort to change the position you were in--you had just turned your body so you could see him better. You’ve missed times like these where everything else, outside of the bubble you two created, didn’t seem to matter. The way his eyes gleamed when he talked to you had lulled you in, making you depart from every thought you were trying to create while the only thought that dawdled was Harry.

“Alright, let’s pass out our Secret Santa gifts before we’re all too drunk,” Niall suggested, popping yours and Harry’s bubble. You moved out of between Harry’s legs to sit beside him where you were before. You looked up at him, softly smiling and he gave you one back. His eyes looked like they wanted to say something, and you so badly wanted to crawl into his mind to know what he was thinking.

Everyone agreed, getting up to grab their gifts. Addie also grabbed the Santa hat that you had to wear if it was your turn to pass out your gift. The Santa hat had been through four Christamases with the group, and it was the little things that made you happy.

Addie decides to go first since she was the host. She put the Santa hat on before she started. “First one! My Secret Santa is…Elijah!” She walked over to him, giving him her gift as he smiled, thanking her. He opened her gift and gasped as it was a new headset for his PlayStation since he was always talking about how one side was completely dead. Addie placed the hat onto his head as he grabbed his gift.

“So, this one is for…” he smiled before walking over to the other end of the couch. “Nic.” Her eyes widened, taking the gift from his hands, and he took a seat next to her on the floor. She ripped open the wrapping paper before she paused, looking back at him. It was a large rectangle frame of pictures of her and Eli with a note in the middle saying ‘4 years as best friends, countless laughs, and one question unasked. Will you go on a date with me?’ Nic squealed, wrapping her arms around his shoulders. It was like he was proposing to her because she screamed out a loud yes. “Life is too damn short. I can’t wait to go another day without calling you my girl, so I wanted to take my chances,” he told her. You smiled at them, realizing it’s been too long, and you were so happy for them.

It was Nic’s turn, which she completely forgot about because she was so overjoyed, and she walked up to Harry to give him her gift. He thanked her before opening it, receiving a set of nail polish, a few face masks, a vanilla candle, and a gift card to one of his favorite restaurants.

Harry was up, and he was a bit nervous for this one. You knew that it could either be you, Niall, or Addie since you were the three left without gifts. He stood in front of the fireplace as everyone looked at him. You thought he looked absolutely adorable in that Santa hat, which you think every single year. He slowly walked over to Niall, making him beam, but turned around and walked over to you, earning a ‘Hey!’ from Niall.

“Merry Christmas Eve, Eve,” Harry greeted you, handing you your gift. You smiled brightly, grabbing the box. It was a quite heavy box with brown wrapping paper with reindeers on it and a large red bow. “I wrapped it myself,” he smirked, playfully flipping his shirt hair, and you giggled.

You ripped the paper and opened the box, eyes softening. In the box, there was a graphic tee, your —and his—favorite fresh perfume by Jo Malone, five pens with your first and last name engraved in the middle, a Cravings cookbook from Chrissy Teigen and a yellow and white vertical striped apron with the words ‘Summer Lovin’ with a sun embroidered at the top. Your eyes watered at the words at the special but emotional meaning behind it.

Two months before you and Harry broke up, you knew it was the end. You both agreed that you would spend two months together before you had to part ways with one another. It was the most special and fun summer you ever had, but emotionally, it was the worst. Knowing that you weren’t going to be together anymore by the end of it was behind the facade of the endless laughter and love. You really didn’t want it to be over, but you understood and needed to grow separately and blossom with your careers.

The words behind the embroidered apron was from one summer night. You and Harry had a bonfire at the beach, and you were cuddled up with him as he held a blanket around the both of you. You had tequila disguised like water as you held your bottle up to the best summer loving. You wished the circumstances were different, but if it’s meant to be, then he’ll come back to you.

“You’ve always wanted to learn how to cook and I’ve seen that you’re starting to on your Instagram stories, so I thought these were the perfect things to get you so you could be a proper chef now,” he said with a soft smile.

Harry truly paid attention to the small details of your life. Together or not, he intently listened and observed without anyone knowing. He nailed it down to the small details; from the perfume, the pens, and the apron. The sentiment behind it was what made the gift so special, and the person who gifted it to you completed and made it so much better.

As your vision had gone glassy, you sat on your knees, reaching up at Harry for a hug. He bent down to your eye level, sitting on his knees as well as he wrapped his arms around your shoulders. You held him tightly, sniffling into his shoulder as a rush of overwhelming emotions hit you. Your heart fluttered and pounded at the same time—a feeling that was familiar to your body when it came to Harry.

“Thank you so much. This is the most thoughtful gift ever,” you said into his shoulder. This gift was number two on the list of gifts you’ve received from him, following Harry himself as your number one, of course.

Harry pulled his head back slightly to press a kiss to the side of your head. The gesture had made your heart swoon and you smiled against his shoulder. Everyone was watching you two interact, and they all thought this was finally the moment where you two would get back together again. They’ve all seen you two suffer enough being without each other, along with the heavy tension that there was. All they wanted was for you both to be happy.

You pulled away from him, looking up at his green eyes as they stared into you. He offered you a small smile that took your breath away before he wrapped one arm around your shoulder, bringing you into his side as he wasn’t quite done holding you.

After a few minutes, your friends had let you have your moment before Niall complained how he didn’t have a gift yet. You and Harry chuckled, letting go of one another, and he placed the Santa hat onto your head before you slowly started walking over to Niall. When you handed him his gift, he cheered happily before opening it. You had given him several customized guitar pics with his initials printed onto them, a leather notebook since he liked to write songs, and Proper 12 Irish Whiskey, which was fitting because he’s Irish and he likes Connor McGregor. He thanked you with a big hug, picking you up off the ground with one arm as he held the alcohol bottle in the other.

Addie was the last one who hadn’t received a gift, and Niall was her Secret Santa. He gave her a bunch of makeup with your help, and a tupperware set, which she had been asking for since everyone always took her containers because she liked hosting so many parties.

The rest of the night had gone on for a few more hours before everyone was pretty tired, deciding to call it a night. Everyone helped clean up, making sure to help Addie with the dishes and putting or throwing stuff away. Although you were cleaning, you loved your entire group. This was your family--the closest people to you. The ones who know everything about you and would laugh at you when you fall before falling with you. You were entirely grateful for everyone in this room, and you couldn’t have asked for a better group to spend more holidays and days with.

After the cleaning was done, Niall and Eli started to head out, not before Eli was satisfied with the amount of goodbyes he gave Nic with how long the hug was. Niall had to physically pull him off, telling him the Uber was outside.

You were washing your hands before Harry walked over next to you, handing you a towel to dry off your hands. “Thank you,” you muttered, shyly smiling.

“Uh, I wanted to ask if you wanted to come over?” He proposed. Your brows raised at his question. You and the girls had planned on having a sleepover after, but the prospect of going home with Harry had sounded much better (no offense to your friends).

“I was planning to sleepover here…” you decided to innocently tease, even though you knew you were going to say yes.

“I already asked them, and they said I could take you. I could drop you back off here if you want. So, the answer is up to you,” he smirked. A blush appeared onto your cheeks, admiring the fact that he asked your friends for permission if he could take you home.

“There’s bound to be talk tomorrow,” you teased, lightly nudging him.

“I’ll take my chances,” he smiled, a hopeful look presented on his face.

You breathed out a chuckle, looking at him for a moment before you nodded. “Yeah. Let’s go.” Harry’s eyes widened as the corners of his lips turned up. You grabbed your phone and your coat before walking over to Addie and Nic who were both cuddled up on the couch, saying goodbye to them. They sent you a playful wink, and you rolled your eyes as nerves startled to settle in your stomach.

You followed Harry out of the door, the cold air brisking past you as you walked to his car. He opened the passenger and you thanked him before getting in. Harry started the car and the song that was playing was ‘Baby, It’s Cold Outside.’ It was a song you loved ever since you were a little girl, and you remembered the times you and your mom would always sing it in the car. You smiled at the memory, humming as you hoped it would be a way to distract you from the anxious feeling that you have.

You started humming to the tune as quietly as you possibly could, but Harry heard it as he started to hum it as well. You looked at him through your peripheral vision, noticing that he started to tap his fingers against the steering wheel.

You were about to start singing until you noticed that he pulled into his driveway, so you contained yourself and closed your coat, getting out of the car as you followed him into his home. You’ve only been inside his home three times--those three times being when he would suggest everyone hang out there. It was a lovely place and whenever you were sitting on his couch, you had wished you shared the space with him.

Harry lit up the fireplace, placing the metal shield in front of it before turning back towards you and smiling. “Make yourself comfortable. I’m just going to get us some hot chocolate, if that’s alright?” He asked, wanting to know your preferred drink.

“Sound good.” You hung your coat onto the coat rack before walking over to his turquoise velvet couch and taking a seat, getting comfortable to an extent, not knowing how comfortable you should get.

Not long after, Harry came back with a wooden tray, and he placed it on the coffee table in front of you. There were two mugs filled with milk, two hot chocolate kits, and spoons.

“I made these for my students, and I just so happened to have two extra kits, so this will be fun,” he smiled, and you gave him one back appreciatively. You thought that it was cute and sweet of him to give something to his students for the holiday season. Normally, teachers don’t give them anything, but Harry wasn’t just any other teacher.

A somewhat comfortable silence fell over you two as you both made your own hot chocolate, and you listened to the fireplace roar. Once you two were done, you clicked your glasses together before taking a sip. The warm and comforting drink made you smile and was overall delicious.

Harry didn’t know what to say or how to say what he really wanted to say. It felt like he had non stop thoughts running through his head, but when he opened his mouth to start, there was a delay. An overwhelming feeling took over him and he wanted to yell at himself for not saying how he really felt.

“Y/N-”

“Harry.”

Just like before, your minds had been in sync, causing you both to speak at the same time. A light laugh came out of both of your mouths.

“You go first,” you told him.

Harry took a deep breath. “How’re you doing?” He asked. Out of everything he could have said, that was the only question that came out of his mouth, but he figured it’s a good start to getting somewhere.

“Truthfully?” He nodded. “I’m doing okay. I’ve managed to distract myself from worrying about the future with work, and so far, it’s been helping.”

“What are you worried about?” Harry wondered curiously. He could feel his heart pounding through his chest, and if he’s being honest, it’s been that way the first time he saw you…ever.

“Worried if I’m gonna be where I want to be career wise, and…” you trailed off.

“And what?” He encouraged you to continue. His stare was so intimidating and deep that the words flew off your tongue, making them unforgettable. “Ba--Y/N?” He called out for you, noticing how he almost slipped up and called you ‘baby,’ and you so wished he hadn’t stopped himself.

You finally mustered up the courage to speak your thoughts. “I’m afraid that I’m gonna be alone,” you said honestly.

Harry’s brows furrowed, shaking his head instantly. “You’re not alone, no. You have your family, all of us--your friends, me-”

“You?” Your brows raised.

“Yeah-”

“Harry, you’re the reason why I’m so worried…” you confessed. You were starting to get frustrated--not at Harry, but at yourself because you had planned to have this conversation a different day. You tried to calm yourself down, and Harry could practically see that you were getting angry at yourself. You had a certain stressful and frustrated look that he would notice when you started to beat yourself up over things. And throughout the months of being with you, especially when you were in the midst of law school, he learned how to calm you down.

Harry placed his hand on your knee; the touch being unexpected to you, but it had brought you immediate comfort. He pulled you into his side and you rested your head on his shoulder, looping your arm under his, the one that’s on your leg, and hugged his arm. Harry’s other hand touched your arm, caressing and soothing you. His actions had felt very natural and familiar to him. He would comfort you like this when you were feeling stressed. Normally, he wanted to cuddle you tightly, but this was your preferred way to calm down because in a way, he was still holding you, and you were still in control and didn’t feel like you were suffocating if he had held you tightly.

You stayed like that for a few moments, and you had calmed down a bit already, but you just wanted to be close to him and cherish the moment.

After a few minutes, you pulled away and turned towards him, smiling softly. Your heart warmed at the fact that he remembered exactly what to do when you started to feel anxious, and you may have fallen in love with him even more…after all these years.

“Now, wanna tell me why you’re so worried?” He asked softly, not wanting his tone to be pressuring, and you’re grateful for it.

“I’m worried I’m going to have to live a life without you. It terrifies me to think about you going out and meeting someone, and I would have to watch you get married to someone else that’s not me. That you would be sharing this home with someone that’s not me.” Your eyes start to water, and you had mentally told yourself that you wouldn’t cry, but you didn’t believe yourself in the slightest. “Watching you love someone else is going to be the most difficult thing I would have to do.”

Your tears had fully fallen down your face, which is unfortunate because you both had such a good day with your friends and it was nearly Christmas. Quickly wiping your tears away, you got up from the couch, and headed towards the door. Harry was confused until he saw you grab your coat, putting it on. In a flash, Harry got up from the couch, walking towards you.

“W-What are you doing?” He asked.

“I really can’t stay…” you told him sadly. You had no idea how you were getting home or back to Addie’s since it’s snowing, so you don’t know if there were any Ubers out, especially at this time. “This evening has been…so very nice, Harry.”

“You don’t have to leave. Baby, it’s cold outside, c’mon,” he pleaded with worried eyes. Your heart melted at his words and the name that he used to call you, making you pause in your movement.

“Please,” he pleaded softly, taking a small step forward, and your breath hitched in your throat as you looked up at him. There was a dead silence between you two that was tension filled, and you had no clue what was going to happen next until he opened his mouth.

“Mind if I move in closer?” He whispered. The sound would barely be audible if anyone else was there, so he said those words specifically for you to hear.

You shook your head, and he took another step forward. Your bodies were a centimeter away from being pressed up against one another, and your heart was beating so fast, making your hands shake and tremble. He looked down at you so intently that you were under his spell, and you were conflicted as you wish you knew how to break the spell as his green eyes looked deep into you, luring you in even more.

You took a deep breath. “Kiss me already,” you breathed out. Harry’s heart nearly stopped at your words, but he slightly smirked as he blushed, brushing your hair behind your ears before taking your face into your hands and leaning down to place a deep and passionate kiss onto your lips.

This feeling, this touch, this man was what you’ve been waiting for these past two years. Throughout those years, you felt like giving up; accepting the fact that he wasn’t going to love you again. But he had proved you wrong in the simple brush of his lips and tongue that were in sync with yours, making the spark between you grow bigger and bigger. The spark that had never lost its power, but was on pause.

You grabbed a fistful of his shirt, pulling him closer as the other hand was wrapped around his back. Harry had you pushed up against his front door, and you had the urge to lift your leg up to wrap it around him, but you resisted.

Harry wanted more, too. His hands trailed down from your face to your back, closing the nonexistent proximity between you, and guided you back to the couch. You were walking backwards, completely trusting him that he wouldn’t let you fall as his lips never left yours.

You giggled once the back of your legs hit the couch, falling onto the soft material as Harry hovered over you, laying in between your legs. He looked at you for a moment, studying every freckle, the crimson color on your cheeks, the curve when you smile, your glimmering eyes, and your cute nose. He knew that it was exactly how he remembered. After a couple of years being separated, a beautiful face like yours was hard to forget.

“You’re quite crazy to think I’d want to live the rest of my life with someone else when you’re right in front of me,” he suddenly said. Your eyes widened at his confession. “Never wanna be without you ever again. Thought you didn’t want to be with me when I came back, so I just didn’t bother. But you have no idea how much I missed you. I missed you so much.”

He placed soft kisses all around your face as he spoke, leaving you feeling so tender and soft as he was so gentle with you. For someone who’s on her way to becoming a lawyer and always having to have an answer for everything, you were speechless. The words that you’ve been waiting for for so long were music to your ears. It rolled off his tongue so smoothly, slick like honey, and you connected your lips with his again, swirling your tongue against his as you devoured his words. Hands finding their way to his hair, you gripped on his locks and pulled just the way he liked it, earning a groan from him, and you smirked against his mouth.

You pulled back, leaving him breathless. Swollen lips, blushed cheeks, and smiles plastered on his face, you said the words you’ve been itching to say. “I love you,” you blurted out. The words had rolled off your tongue so effortlessly, making shivers run down Harry’s spine as his eyes watered up. “I was listening to Elijah earlier, and he’s right. Life’s too fucking short to not have what you want.”

He took one of your hands into his, bringing it up to his lips before placing a kiss onto the back of your hand. Your other hand was playing with the curls that laid delicately on his hands, scratching it lightly.

“Missed hearing you say those words.” He smiled, tears making their way down his face. “I love you too. So, so much that you have no idea how I feel when you walk into the room and I see your beautiful face. I love you. I love you. I love you, baby.” His affirmations had caused you to softly sob—the two of you a crying mess from the obvious but unspoken love that was finally being released again. “It’s always been you. You’ve always been my girl, did you know that?” You tilted your head a bit. “Never gonna go a day without reminding you that you are, because you’ve never not been my girl. Had to love and admire you from afar, but just wanted to hold you and kiss you.”

“You can kiss and hold me all you want now, my love,” you reassured him, and he dug his face into your neck, placing a soft kiss against your skin.

You smiled so brightly as your heart felt so happy and overflowed with love, and he matched your grin, feeling the same way.

The two of you kissed each other for a bit more, whispering sweet words, and laughed and talked about anything and everything—truly catching up with one another.

“Oh.” He got off of you, making you slightly pout from the weight of laying on you that you already missed. “I actually got you another gift.”

“Harry…you already got me enough.” It was true. Along with the thoughtful gift, he was your true Christmas miracle.

“I know. But this one, I wanted to give to you in private, and this is the perfect moment, so let me do this?” He looked at you with sweet and pleading eyes with a small smile on his face. Who could ever say no to that adorable face? Certainly not you.

You nodded, and he shot up, heading towards the stairs. “Give me thirty seconds,” he said before rushing up the stairs.

You heard him shuffling up there, and the sound of a drawer opening and closing. Thirty seconds later, he was walking downstairs, holding a white box wrapped in a red bow. He sat back down next to you, looking into your eyes as he spoke.

“This is what I wanted to give you when we were alone. It didn’t matter the outcome of how things turned out between us tonight, I just wanted to give you this because I think you’ll appreciate it. It reminded me of you when I saw it, and I knew I had to get it.” He handed you the box with slightly shaky hands.

You untied the bow, taking the top off. A gasp came from your mouth as you picked up the chain. It was a little gold sun pendant, symbolizing your summer together. You studied the charm for a moment, delicately touching it as you teared up at the meaning behind it. It matched quite well with your embroidered apron, and the two together would be quite the match.

“Thank you, Harry. This is so sweet of you.” You leaned forward, giving him a hasty kiss to his lips, smiling against them. “Help me put it on?” He nodded eagerly. You handed him the necklace before turning around, lifting your hair. You felt the cool metal chain hit your skin along with Harry’s lingering touches across your shoulders, causing your skin to pebble. He placed a quick kiss to your neck before pulling away. You turned around to meet his eyes as you smiled.

“Beautiful. Absolutely beautiful.” He kissed your forehead. “I’m so happy. Merry Christmas Eve, Eve, baby.”

“Merry Christmas Eve, Eve, my love.”

You cuddled into his side as the silence took over. The only thing was heard was the pounding of your love-filled hearts along with the cracking of the fire. Sure, it was cold outside, but right here in Harry’s arms, you were warmer than ever.

please come into my inbox and talk about your thoughts and feelings on this! also feedback is appreciated, thank you for reading! <3

#GBSxmaschallenge #harry styles angst #harry styles fluff #boyfriend!harry #harry styles smut #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles fanfic #harry styles one shot #harry styles writing #harry styles imagine #harry styles dirty one shot #harry styles x you #harry styles x reader #harry styles x y/n #harry styles x yn #harry styles au #harry #harry styles

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k-comfyspace · 3 years

Text

Neglected

Idol: Kim Chaewon, Kim Minju (Izone)

Request: Yes

Love: hi, i really love your writing! can i request a chaewon x minju x fem!reader where the reader wants to break up bc they seem happier without her but 2kim comforts her? angsty but with happy ending please? thank you!!!

A/n: Again can’t believe this is the first time I wrote this kind of story, take my privilege please! Ya’ll are just really nice, makes my heart soft and because I was in the mood to write, this is the longest scenario I’ve ever written🥺

You glanced outside the window, looking down at the field as you cleared your thoughts, trying to observe the students playing and exercising.

But really you were deep in your thoughts, struggling as you tried to figure out a solution, you knew they cared for you. You were the luckiest woman in the world to have the chance to date Minju and Chaewon.

To have them love you and show you sides that no fan has ever seen before, you knew it was too good to be true, and recently it’s been showing.

You never wanted to let your thoughts get the best of you. But recently you’ve found your relationship to be only centered around the two of them. Oftentimes you were stuck in school or you were back home doing projects, you would constantly cancel your time with them because you were busy, while they would just be a reach away.

You were the only one who was always busy, so you blame yourself that they were always happy being together because you were never there.

It would make you feel better if they had talked to you if they have any issues. But you couldn’t complain, how could you, not only is it your fault but they seemed a lot happier without you.

“Ms. L/n!” you snapped your head to the front, suddenly hearing your name as you realized the whole class was staring at you. Your professor included as he had his eyebrows furrowed, anger clear in his features before he asked you to stand.

“Could you answer the question, Ms. L/n?” He asked and you could only look down, hands behind your back before you heard him sigh, “Y/n this has been the 5th time this week, am I going to have to call in your parents?”

Your head shot up to look at your professor, shaking your head rapidly, “No, I’m sorry professor it won’t happen again, this is the last time,” you promised before he paused looking at your form and making you uneasy until he nodded, raising his finger towards you.

“One last time, Ms. L/n,”

“Thank you, sorry professor,”

Then the bell rang making you professor look at you with disappointment before he dismissed the class. You suddenly felt the guilt of the trouble you caused for the man as you left the room.

“It’s been the 5th time this week,” his words echoed in your head, your shoulders slumping as the reality dawned on you, that's because you kept in your issues so much that it started to show.

Your emptiness and sadness started to affect your performance, you were lucky that the professor was nice, if it were anyone else, your parents would’ve been interrogating you at this point.

You were so caught up in your thoughts that you didn’t notice the crowd behind you in the front was your girlfriend, following you with a smile as she held her bag, Minju caught up with you. Linking your arms together you suddenly jolted, jerking your hand as you earned a confused look from Minju.

“Sorry, I was thinking,” you played it off before Minju giggled and linked her arms with you again, “You’ve been thinking a lot these days, ba—Y/n,” you kept looking straight trying not to give too much away and ignored the slip up she had.

Of course the other students didn’t know, they couldn’t, since most of them were already wild enough as it is because out of all the people she chose L/n Y/n, to be the closest with and not to mention that her career only began 5 months ago so having a dating scandal this early on would surely affect not only her and Chaewon’s career but the rest as well.

“They’re dumping a lot of projects this week, so I’ve been a little out of it, sorry,” you apologized but your girlfriend could only shake her head before a sudden idea struck her, “You can come to the dorm and we’ll help you, Y/n!” She said and you could only shake your head.

“I don’t want to bother the other Minju, you’re already so busy I can’t just go there and interrupt,”

“Nonsense, Y/n, the girls practically adopted you when they met you, plus we’re on our break anyway.” She said and you were about to refuse but she cut you off, “You’ve been working too hard these days, baby, a little help wouldn’t be bad,” she said softly making your heart melt at her concern.

So with a conflicted heart and messy thoughts you agreed, your girlfriend cheering as she led you to the van.

—

“Y/n!” You smiled at the others waving as they greeted, “Baby,” Chaewon pushed herself off the couch and went to hug you and Minju as you forced a smile to convince the girls who cooed and playfully gaged at their members’ affection, but you didn’t quite fool all of them.

Your eyes landed on the blue haired girl, as Yujin gave you a soft smile when she saw the conflict in your eyes.

She was the first person you knew that was part of a group. Yujin was the perfect friend for you, she often matched your personality and she was a good listener.

Since in your first year at school she was the one that you got to know first, though you were both shy at first something eventually clicked until she introduced you to her friends.

Yujin was the person you could approach when you needed help with your girlfriends, even if she was young, Yujin did her best to listen to you and figure out a solution. Sometimes she was the reason why the three of you would make up when you had a problem, she cared for you like her big sister and you cared for her as your little sister.

So naturally when you started to have thoughts about Minju and Chaewon, Yujin was the first person you approached and ranted to, trying your best to not ruin their relationship as members while you ranted.

Thankfully Yujin didn’t think any bad things towards her unnie but she did find it quite annoying that her unnies were sweeter to each other than they are to you.

She’s been wanting to intervene, say how much they’re hurting you but to her displeasure you would constantly hold her back, saying it wasn’t a big deal. Which made it increasingly difficult to not be annoyed because of your niceness. If it was her she would’ve marched toward them and yelled out everything.

She admired that about you, that even if you were mistreated you would still forgive them and brush it off because it made the other happy, but sometimes it could be the reason you break.

—

Laying down on the floor, you did your best to write, tracing the sketch carefully as you ignored the couple giggling every so often. But in the corner of your eye, you could clearly see them, laughing as they kept talking about something. It was like they already forgot that they had someone else.

You gripped your pen, biting your tongue because you were afraid of blurting something out.

Yujin watched you from her spot, before she slowly made her way over next to you, nudging your body. As you looked over, she sent you a gentle smile keeping her voice low to avoid the others from hearing,

“If you need a second we can talk about it just say something,” she whispered and you smiled, sending your friend a thankful smile as you patted her knee.

Minju noticed you and Yujin whispering to each other, a small frown on her face as she wondered what you could’ve talked about.

“Hey, Y/n, is this good?” She called you, wanting to get your attention as she showed you her work on one of the parts you’ve given her. It was a weak attempt to get you because you were whispering with Yujin but you did glance over and gave her a smile.

Nodding at the work as you thanked her and said that she did a good job.

Throughout the night most of the girls had spent it finishing your projects, making sure to thank all the girls for their help. And throughout the night you had given yourself a fair distance away from the couple, focusing on your job as you plugged in your music or kept talking with Yujin who did her best to distract you, which you were infinitely grateful for.

However Minju and Chaewon had noticed you distancing yourself, it might’ve been their imaginations but you are so full of life when you spoke with the others, smiling as you replied excitedly or happily with the rest of the girls.

But whenever they would call for you, a short reply was all they got, even if they would try to hug you or say random sweet nothings, you would accept it but push away after a few seconds as you got back to your work.

You were slowly starting to get annoyed, partnered by your already conflicted feelings and with them constantly calling you for your attention, “Y/n we can we talk for a second, in private?” She whispered again which made you suddenly snap.

“I said I can handle it Yujin,” you said sharply, causing the younger girl to flinch, pursing her lips as she turned quiet.

You kept silent for the rest of the night, finishing your projects before you packed. You thanked the girls, making sure you showed them your gratitude and promised to repay them for their help.

Then you turned to your girlfriends, seeing both of them chatting, you wanted to thank them for helping but seeing them laugh so hard and so joyfully your mood was dampened again.

Your eyes however caught another sight, across the room Yujin cleaned up the mess, but the frown on her face was visible behind the curtain of hair she hid behind.

You sighed, approaching the girl and placed a hand on her shoulder.

Yujin glanced up, seeing a small smile on your face as you gestured your head to the side, “Let’s talk,” you said, which immediately the blue haired followed you.

Unbeknownst to them of the eyes watching as they went into the hallway, Yujin avoided your eyes before you rested your hand on her shoulder, “Hey, I’m sorry for snapping at you,” you started seeing her about to speak but you cut her off.

“Me going through stuff doesn’t give me a valid reason to be mad at you Yujin, you were only trying to help me and I’m grateful for that. I don’t want to bring you into my problems, I don’t want you hating on other people because of me, you’re a good friend Yujin-ah,” you finished, seeing a pout starting to form on the younger’s face as she couldn’t say anything.

You giggled, pulling her into a hug, noticing the two figures peeking from the living room. You pulled away and smiled at your best friend, ushering her away before the two other girls came into the hallway, looking at you with concerned faces.

You forced a smile, eyes lingering on their clasped hands, “Hey,” Chaewon greeted you as Minju smiled, reaching their hands out for yours.

Intertwining your fingers together used to make you feel everything, the slight dip in your stomach because of the excitement, your heart beating against your chest because it felt so full, and the tingling sensation on your skin because of their warmth.

Now everything seemed off, it felt incomplete, you wanted to pull away but you didn’t want to disconnect yourself from them, then the conflict in your eyes didn’t escape past both of them. Squeezing your hands before they asked you, “We just want you to be honest with us, Y/n,”

“Are you tired of us?”

The question shocked you, eyes snapping towards the two of them who looked at your with sad features,

“Because recently we’ve been noticing that you keep moving away, when we have plans you cancel, when we want to come over you say you’re busy, when we talk to you your responses are always short and empty. And we uh—wanted to know if, you still want to be with us,”

There was silence for a while, you looked at them in disbelief before pulling your hand away, your breathing getting heavier as you tried to contain your anger.

“Are you serious?” You asked, as they could only look at you with confusion, “You’re really gonna ask me a question when you yourselves are the ones who need it?”

“What do you—“

“I’ve spent the past week, torturing myself to forget, seeing you two being so sweet and caring for each other while I’m at the side being ignored. I keep canceling because I didn’t want to bear the fact that you two are starting to forget about me, that you’re too caught up with each other to even notice that I’m struggling.”

“I don’t want all of your attention, but please do keep in mind that there are other people in this relationship besides you two.” Your voice was getting louder, the girls in the living room perking up when they heard your voice.

Minju and Chaewon looked at you with mixed emotions, suddenly confused on why you would hide this from them silence lingered for a while the tension rising,

“Then why didn’t you tell us? Why choose to say it now? You have a lot of chances to say it but you didn’t,” Minju asked with a sudden tone to her voice, making you scoff in disbelief.

“You think I didn’t try?!”

“I’ve been wanting to say something everyday, I wanted to talk with you two just so this wouldn’t happen but everytime the three of us get together it’s like I never existed in the first place. I respected it at first, maybe you didn’t want to bother me but the way you feel for each other doesn’t go to me anymore, it feels one sided.”

At this point the girls already heard everything, looking at the three of you with their brows furrowed, they’ve seen you three fight but it never went to this level.

You bit the inside of your cheek, holding back your tears before Yujin padded to the three of you, but suddenly Chaewon spoke again, the words leaving her mouth made everyone’s breath hitch, “So how do we know you’re not sick of us? You might be seeing Yujin for all we know,”

Your jaw dropped in disbelief, looking at Chaewon. You couldn’t say anything, before your eyes snapped to Yujin who looked at the older with annoyance and anger,

“You’ve got some nerve to accuse Y/n like that, what’s gotten into you, Unnie? She’s your girlfriend for God’s sake!”

“How do we know for sure! She’s been ignoring us for the past week and has been with you, so sorry if I started to think that!” Their voices started to get louder before they started to argue, the girls stepping in and pulling them away from each other before anything got out of hand.

Your head started to hurt, your hands shaking as you saw them yelling at each other, “Just stop it!” You yelled, a voice echoing off the walls which made them pause, it was the first time you yelled that loud, tears streaming down your face as you tried your best to wipe them.

“This has nothing to do with Yujin, she’s the one that’s been helping me and convincing me that I don’t need to break up with you, but I didn’t think you would stoop so low and accuse me of seeing another person behind your back especially accusing your own member too.”

You turned, grabbing your coat and slamming the door, your footsteps rushing to the elevator before you left. Once the door shut a sob escaped your lips, a sudden weight on your shoulder every step you took away from the dorm.

—

The room was quiet, most of them staring at the door with shocked expressions, a scoff came from Chaewon as she stomped away, going to her room and slamming the door shut, Minju standing still with her eyes wide.

Yujin was breathing heavily, tears in her eyes as she walked away, hurriedly going inside her room.

A few minutes later Minju left, padding towards Chaewon’s room and entered, closing the door gently. Leaving the girls in the living room glancing at each other, the concern and worry in each of their eyes.

Weeks went by and the girls didn’t receive any contact from you, Minju couldn’t see you in school anymore, and Yujin couldn’t call you.

Which worried everyone to no end, they’ve been wanting to visit you but recently their schedules have been so packed that they didn’t have time to check.

Minju, Chaewon, and Yujin were quiet for the whole week, their interactions were minimal except when they were on camera. The girls didn't want to intervene, because this was their problem, but it hurt them with each day to see them ignoring each other.

So when one day Chaewon and Minju knocked on the door, Yujin opened it, her eyes suddenly turning wide when she saw the two in front of her door, their heads down as they guiltily fidgeted in their place.

“Can we talk, please?” Chaewon spoke up, raising her head to look at the younger who kept silent nodding as she stepped aside and allowed the two in the room.

They sat on the beds, the air awkward before Minju sighed, “We’re sorry,”

“We’re sorry for what we did, what we said and what we thought wasn’t right. We shouldn’t have accused you and doubted you we were wrong.”’

“I don’t like to be mad at you unnie’s, what you did was wrong, you did a lot of things that day that were wrong. I know I’m young but please don’t think that badly about Y/n unnie, the things she’s been telling me about you two, it’s something I don’t think I could go through, so please don’t apologize to me, apologize to her.”

Chaewon pulled the blue haired girl into a hug, Minju joining as they made up, Chaewon smiling as she whispered to the younger girl, “We will,”

—

When the girls had been given the week to rest, Minju and Chaewon didn’t waste a beat, rushing home and washing up before they asked their manager to bring them to your apartment.

They went to your door, using the key that they had hoping to see you but all they were met with was silence. No TV, no music, no sounds in the kitchen, they were sure that you were home because your shoes were beside the door.

They made sure to check every room calling out for you until Minju stopped at your room, opening it gently before she saw you on your bed, your body covered with sheets as you slept, as the soft snores passed your lips.

Minju called her girlfriend, both of them padding to your form and cupping your cheeks but worry struck them when they felt how warm you were.

Your forehead covered in a sheen of sweat before they looked at each other, you were sick.

They removed their coats, placing them aside as they took the blankets of your body. Chaewon went to get a basin and a towel while Minju got some clothes out of your closet before they cleaned you.

Minju cleaned up your room after Chaewon finished wiping your body, leaving the towel on your forehead to absorb all the heat.

Chaewon rummaged through your fridge and did what she could to make you some soup while Minju sat by your side, observing you as she suddenly felt whole again.

After a week of not seeing you, talking to you, it left her so empty and without her noticing a tear dropped before she started to cry silently, her eyes closed while she held the sheets until she felt someone cup her cheek.

Minju opened her eyes, a sob fully escaping her lips when you were smiling at her, wiping the tears that kept flowing out, “Why are you crying?” The softness of your voice made it worse for her and soon Chaewon entered, a tray in her hands with your food, water, and medicine.

When she saw you awake she froze at the door, her eyes welling with tears when you looked at her, no anger or disappointment in your eyes. She padded closer to you and placed the tray to the side before reaching for your hand, which you gladly gave her as she put it against her cheek, her own eyes stinging with tears.

“I-I’m so sorry,” Chaewon’s voice was so small, so defeated that it hurt you that she was going through that, even if it was her own fault.

“We l-love you, Y/n, please don’t ever forget that, we’re so sorry that we n-neglected you,” Minju nuzzled her cheek against your palm,

“P-Please give us a chance to be better, we w-won’t know what to do without you,” they inched in and embraced you, making you close your eyes when you felt them again but this time everything felt normal again.

The sinking feeling, the tingles, and your heart hammering against your chest. You felt whole to be with them for so long, “We’ll a-always love you, n-no matter what,” you felt your hair get brushed aside before they kissed your cheek and you could only sigh.

Your arms tighten around them as you want them to be closer. With a silent acceptance and promise they would always take care of you, show you how much you mean to them because truly they wouldn’t be who they are without you.

#izone #izone scenarios #izone imagines #girl group #girl group imagines #girl group scenarios #izone chaewon #izone minju #kim minju #kim chaewon #minju #chaewon #minju scenarios #minju imagines #chaewon imagines #chaewon scenarios

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ranboo5 · 3 years

Note

whats 'the clip' and knifetrick?

Augh. Under the cut for shipping discourse and p/dophilia ment (nothing graphic or specific). Gets long bc I discuss my thoughts on DSMP shipping in general. You are setting me up fr anon

Some quick vocab -

intimacy here is used to refer to. Well. Any kind of intimacy between characters, of any sort, as an umbrella term /r, /p, and /qp here are used as shorteners to denote "romantic," "platonic," and "queerplatonic," both as adjectives And as verbs ("to /r" = "to portray romantically") shipping here is used to refer to any focused examination of intimacy between characters

And some clarity that Should follow from the essay next but may not - """anti-antis"""" and RPF writers delete forever

The Clip is from one of if not the? most recent Discord stage(s) Mr Live has done (which I missed when it was live RIP) wherein he issues a hard ban on shipping him ("do not ship me, in any way, with anyone!") which would less influence c!beeduo (which has been portrayed/stated to be romantic AND nonromantic both conflictingly for a while until being confirmed unconfirmed several months ago, that being the last was heard) without its direct invocation if he hadn't also cited for the reason as being underage ("'Cause, one, it's straight up pedophilia") which is! a) immediately applicable to At Least his DSMP character, Partially and b) while not Strictly True (should b obvious that portraying a relationship within the bounds of what it is in canon and in a nonsexual way is not That, and /r-ing c!beeduo etc was possible to do Appropriately again by remaining w/in the bounds of canon) is Clearly Indicative of the fact that baggage-wise it IS associated with people being fucking creeps

This Really complicates things bc like okay the apparent solution is "lol just don't /r it" but it's really like. A Worse issue than that bc like.

Okay the reason shipping in terms of fictional characters is a Different Bar is bc it's an examination of Intimacy and certain lines exist in certain dynamics of intimacy that Isn't Shown (which is the whole Within The Bounds Of Canon thing) which is important in a medium like DSMP because of the smaller gap + more personal relationship b/w character and streamer. Examining intimacy beyond th bounds of the consent that has been established in that regard is Weird at best and Violating And Creepy more often and, As Mentioned In Ranb's Stage, Literally Evil at worst

Which is why writing abt like. QPR or platonically intimate Techno and Philza (characters) is smth that is fine because that's smth that has been shown and repeatedly stated onscreen; it's in the bounds of canon n thus within th bounds of what the streamers've consented 2 be done with their characters. But writing T3chza making out or whatever is fucked up because it's smth that's beyond those consent barriers

And the thing is right

Slapping a /p on T3chza makeout doesn't. Make it less violating

Like what you CALL romantic is not the measure or whether it's past those barriers yk? And if it's indistinguishable, if it's in extrapolative territory that is Past The Bounds, it Does Not Matter how much you /p it EVEN IF IT IS TECHNICALLY PLATONIC y feel? Like at the end of the day placing a moratorium on some/all forms of shipping is placing a moratorium on certain examinings of intimacy

And okay 2 go back to Mr Live and his character. What it implies taken in context w/ older portrayals of c!beeduo and said by invoking smth that both evokes Really fucked up baggage (that does unfortunately exist btw I'm sorry if you didn't know that but People Really Do B Fucked Up Abt Beeduo) AND applies to his character is a revocation of consent to examining deep intimacies:tm: with his character, which is gonna apply regardless of the nature of that intimacy (even if nonromantic)

Like I don't /r c!beeduo myself, do not, never have, but I talk to people who have and have consumed content where they r background /r; I also don't think it matters. Like I don't Actively /r it and I don't Actively Not /r it because imho w/ the intimacy regarding c!beeduo that is plot relevant and character important whether that intimacy is /p /qp or /r doesn't really matter. I don't consider myself Less of a c!beeduo shipper than someone who /rs them because that would be dumb as hell and while none of the content I've made* is Intrinsically or Intentionally /r it certainly can be read tht way as much as it can be read /qp or /p. It's be dumb and hypocritical of me to like, dunk on ppl for /r-ing c!beeduo when I'm also invested in these two and my tonetags r not gonna suddenly Delete the picking apart I've done of the dynamic @ hand

Which Has Been. Within Bounds Of Canon. It's been what's been shown (sometimes to my great distress. There is a reason that the :canon_beeduo: emote looks the way it does) Directly Onscreen and in general keeping with the tone n intensity/directions of what they've Done With The Characters

HOWEVER

As mentioned up there. Revocation of consent

It makes. Full sense 2 me that Mr Live wants to place a moratorium or fullon ban on shipping his characters perhaps where he wouldn't have before because of the Unfortunately Very Extant trends of people being Fucking Weird about shipping his characters AND of using them as a Thinly Veiled Excuse to ship HIM, which. I should not have to explain why shipping real people is fucking abhorrent

THIS creates a problem which is a. Bit of a vacuum in interacting with what is a facet of c!Ranboo's arc, decision making, and character. Like you CAN have c!Ranboo w/o cbeeduo but you Can't Really have his plotline without examining c!beeduo. And as I mentioned earlier: even if your examination of c!beeduo is fully platonic, the significance of it To the plotline means that any examination of it and its relevance to the plotline and characters IS gonna be an examination of intimacy, which. Regardless of it's platonic, Is Still Shipping

Unless some HARD retconning happens it leaves this like. Hole in an aspect of c!Ranboo's arc and decisionmaking and it's very. Uncertain? God. Fucking months ago I was already kind of :huh. Does he know what the fuck he's doing: irt c!beeduo and desperately wishing for things to be cleared up and now it's only That Much Stronger

NOW. KNIFETRICK, FINALLY

Knifetrick (or, as it’s actually listed, Bishop’s Knife Trick) is a fic about "Ran and Jackie from The Pit TFTSMP" in a "canon-typical ambiguously romantic relationship." As you can tell from the scare quotes, especially if you've seen me vague, both of these are, to put it politely, Doubtful. I've read the fic; I will not be sharing my opinions because that would be neither productive nor responsible (I will just say I can't recommend it and leave it at that) but I WILL say the following that Is relevant to the conversation:

Ran's and Jackie's characterizations respectively have very little to do with characterizations from The Pit, and bear a dollar-store-version resemblance to tropes and personality motifs found in ESPECIALLY fanon c!beeduo, especially later in the fic. I would not go so far as to say they are Intentionally Literally Ranboo and Tubbo but they are transparent expies and were clearly written at LEAST unintentionally w/ c!beeduo in mind (esp since. Ran and Jackie barely interacted in The Pit), and for a readerbase that, as far as I can tell, is HUGELY dominated by /r c!beeduo shippers. Like. Sorry. This is off-brand c!beeduo.

The dynamic between the two is pretty unambiguously romantic, also; despite what the fic's white knights claim, romantic tropes and implications/motifs/imagery from at LEAST chapter two, and is very much explicitly romantic by the most recent chapter.

FROM CH1:

"And now, with raised eyebrows and a pursed lip, the newly named General Jackie observes Ran in such a way that makes the enderman’s skin crawl. Ran reminds himself that this kid, as short and harmless as he may look, is trained to kill. [...] Jackie narrows his eyes and tilts his head a little, as if he’s trying to read in between every one of Ran’s imperfect scales."

FROM CH2:

"It makes Ran’s skin itch with discomfort. [...] 'That actually doesn’t explain much of anything at all,' complains Jackie, and he pops a few croutons into his mouth with one hand. 'Tell me what you’re thinking, pretty-boy.'

"Ran feels his face flush, no doubt mildly glowing green.

"Yes, that was the other thing. The unnecessary compliments to his physical appearance.

"They don’t happen very often, and don’t seem to have very much meaning or intention behind them— Jackie often speaks like an unthinking kid— but when they do happen… they’re embarrassing. [...] It’s annoying how the rug is pulled out from under his feet in these moments when he’s 'embarrassed'. Like the conversation see-saw has temporarily shifted weight in the general’s favor."

I am not going to include excerpts from Chapter 6 because it's just the entire chapter.

I WILL SAY, HOWEVER, STEPPING ON THIS SCORPION BEFORE IT STINGS: they are not written in an RPFy manner and I don't think there's any grounds, including Vibes, of accusing Knifetrick of being like. Closet truthing or whatever. Also, while I think there's certainly Some Weirdness ESPECIALLY around the reaction, the romance itself is Not written in any way I'd call weird or problematic pre-clip; it's nothing inappropriate or like Weirdly Fetishy or whatever. Knifetrick is not #problematic or anything and I don't have beef with like the concept of liking it intrinsically; if I thought it was like. Abhorrent I wouldn't be sharing excerpts lmao dhjfnhdsbvdnfjh. Hence: if anyone uses this post or anyth like it to send harassment or bad faith ANYTHING to anyone involved with Knifetrick I will hunt you down in the fucking night even if it WAS #problematic that'd be the LITERAL OPPOSITE of productive and as it stands it's Literally Not. Essentially: Knifetrick is a (questionably-written /mean) fic using Ran and Jackie from The Pit as a vessel for a large chunk of the dynamics and headcanons of fanon /r c!beeduo in particular

And again, I would not call it problematic in any way (aside from the disingenuity of the insistence that it's TOTALLY UNRELATED TO BEEDUO and TOOOTALLY WASN'T INTENDED TO BE ROMANTIC GUYS like own your shit please)... IF it weren't for the advent of The Clip, which is calling in2 question the Entirety of the problem of /r-ing any variant of c!beeduo or any of Ranboo's characters at all

I really do not have an answer for this tbh. I genuinely wanna hear from the streamer on this more specifically because I like,,, I got no clue where 2 go from here? Do I just consider an arc retconned? Was it an issue of speaking abt a troubling subject kneejerk wise and I'm reading too much in2 it?

I just. I dunno

Tl;dr (AT LONG LAST)

- The Clip is a clip of a Discord stage where Ranboo (streamer) loudly explicitly decried shipping in a way that implicitly applies to characters he plays - This would be all well and good but is rendered complicated by the plot relevance of c!beeduo, which does not stop being shipping if it's /p'd due to it still necessarily being an examination of a particular intimacy in a way that is in canon hard to distinguish the /p, /qp, or /r nature of - Bishop's Knife Trick is an AO3 fic centered around using TFTSMP characters as /r c!beeduo expies which is not a bad thing in and of itself unless it also is covered under this moratorium - Things remain unclear until and unless we get clearer word from streamer, but considering Mr Live seems to be allergic to clarifying anything abt c!beeduo this is doubtful

*very little if any of the content I personally have made 4 c!beeduo has been posted publicly, for related reasons. You May have seen it if you're in servers w/ me, depending on Which Ones

#dsmp fandom critical #kind of?#jic #ask to tag #I am technically defending Kn1fetrick on this post #I am not nice to it but I am defending it technically. If people start being rude abt it I am going to set myself on fire #this IS ludicrously long but I have tl;dr'd it as I do with all my ludicrously long posts. I think I have salient thoughts

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iwaizooming · 4 years

Text

➵ not good with words — i. hajime

✧ pairings: iwaizumi x fem!reader ✧ type: drabble ✧ genre: fluff ; a lil angst and pining ✧ wc: 1421

synopsis: iwaizumi knows of your flirty dynamic with oikawa, and he doesn’t really mind it—until he does.

ever since he was little, iwaizumi has always struggled with expressing his feelings.

his mom frequently joked about how much of a quiet kid he was. she said that he rarely ever cried or threw a tantrum. it wasn’t until he met oikawa that he started becoming more expressive, albeit with a little violence here and there.

even with oikawa’s help, iwaizumi still uses his words sparingly. it’s not like he’s shy or anything, he just feels like he isn’t good with socialising and he’s afraid of saying the wrong thing and accidentally offending someone.

on the other hand, oikawa has always been a charming kid. he has a way with words that can make every single woman, young or old, to hand their hearts to him.

ever since middle school, oikawa is always surrounded by a horde of girls who blush and giggle at his every word.

his charm and flirty nature never really bothered iwaizumi (well, except for the fact that it makes it five times harder to get to their next classes after each period), but this changes when he met you.

you moved to seijoh during your first year of high school, and through some miracle, you were placed in the same class as iwaizumi and oikawa.

you were a curious case. instead of blushing at oikawa’s cheeky flirts, you flirted back at him with a mischievous glint in your eyes.

naturally, oikawa was enthralled by this.

throughout the year, all of you became very close. you fit into their friendship group very easily. hanamaki and matsukawa adored you, because no other girl has been able to match with oikawa’s ridiculousness before. you always participated in bullying oikawa, which made them love you even more. the flirting did not stop though, oikawa always made sure to blow a kiss across the gym whenever you came to their practice matches, and you always pretended to throw the kiss in the air and served it back at him.

although iwaizumi is aware of your flirty dynamic with oikawa, he couldn’t stop his heart from beating twice as fast when you gave him a smile.

he didn’t notice his feelings at first, being the oblivious boy that he is. it wasn’t until he saw you receive a confession from a black-haired boy in the corridor during your second year that he realised, the clench in his heart wasn’t normal. well shit.

after that day, he started becoming hyper-aware of the little things that were previously normal in your relationship.

when you grabbed his arm to tell him to look at the new takoyaki stand on the way home, he couldn’t help but flush at the touch.

every time you shot him a toothy grin when you saw him waiting for you by your front door to walk with you to school, his heart skips a beat.

your flirting with oikawa is no longer just a daily annoyance, it causes his stomach to twist just a little bit.

but iwaizumi knew better than to interfere with his best friends’ relationship. he believed that you and oikawa were right for each other, your personalities were very similar after all.

he could only stand and look from afar while his heart aches when you laugh at another one of oikawa’s stupid jokes. his arms were around your shoulders and you were leaning into him. you looked happy.

as if you sensed his eyes on you, you suddenly look up to meet his gaze. you locked eyes with him for a moment, and then you shot him a soft smile. he loves all of your smiles, but this one is his favourite.

iwaizumi doesn’t even bother to deny the skip in his heart anymore.

like any other day, iwaizumi walked home with you by his side. you were happily humming to yourself while munching on your onigiri.

iwaizumi swallowed hard, as if trying to stop his stomach from jumping out of his mouth from nervousness.

“h-how are you and oikawa?” iwaizumi asked, immediately cringing right after. that sounded so awkward.

you shot him a weird look, “what do you mean? didn’t you see him just now? he looked fine?”

iwaizumi swallowed again. his palms were getting sweaty.

“what i mean is, do you like oikawa? you guys seem super close and he obviously likes you.”

you stopped munching on your onigiri as your mouth opened in disbelief.

a blush formed on iwaizumi’s cheeks, “stop being disgusting and chew with your mouth closed.” he hoped that his gruff tone is able to mask the embarrassment in his voice.

you obliged and swallowed quietly. he could see the gears turning in your head.

a mischievous smirk formed on your lips as you teased, “are you jealous, hajime?”

the blush on iwaizumi’s cheeks got even darker as he feels his head get hot. he thinks that he’s one second away from overheating.

“n-no! stop being so annoying.” wait, that wasn’t what he wanted to say.

you smiled, completely unbothered by his insult. after being friends with iwaizumi for over a year, you’ve grown accustomed to his antics.

unbeknownst to him, your heart was also beating abnormally fast. you were just better at hiding your shyness.

“well, to answer your question, no i don’t.” you shot him another one of your soft smiles.

iwaizumi felt like a weight the size of an elephant has been lifted from his chest.

“but i do like someone else.” you looked down at your feet as you feel a blush creeping up at your cheeks.

“oh,” the pain and disappointment was apparent in his voice, but he didn’t have the energy to hide it anymore.

your eyes widened in disbelief as you looked up at him, “what do you mean oh you stupid godzilla? oh?!”

now it was his turn to look at you with wide eyes.

“i like you, you doodoo head. god! you’re so dense it’s annoying sometimes.”

iwaizumi felt like time stopped when he heard you say those words. he thought that he wasn’t breathing for a minute.

when he came back to his senses, he looked down to see you clenching your fists with a furious blush on your cheeks. you looked so unbearably cute.

his throat felt dry. he swallowed again.

“are you sure?” he asked dumbly. dammit. that’s not what he wanted to say again.

you raised your eyebrows at him and shook your head. you scoffed and turned on your heels to speed walk away from him.

thankfully, iwaizumi shook himself out of his dazed state after a few seconds.

“wait, y/n! stop!”

you didn’t stop. you can’t believe that you fell in love with a man who’s denser than a brick. your pride was hurt today and you are beyond embarrassed.

iwaizumi ran over to you and grabbed your hand to spin you around to face him. he let out a heavy breath and sighed.

“i’m sorry for being stupid. i’m not very good with words, but I like you too. i’ve liked you for a long time but i didn’t tell you because i thought you and oikawa were a thing. i didn’t want to ruin your relationship so i just stood from afar as my heart long for you. i thought i didn’t have a chance.”

you felt another blush form on your cheeks. you think that this is the most honest and transparent iwaizumi has been over the course of your friendship.

“wow,” you breathed out. his confession left you speechless. you didn’t know he had it in him.

iwaizumi smiled warmly with eyes full of affection.

“i’m sorry for not saying it sooner.” he mumbled while scratching his head in embarrassment.

you couldn’t hold it anymore. “can I kiss you now?”

iwaizumi blushed but didn’t say another word. he held your face in his hands and leaned in to close the gap between the two of you.

his lips were a bit chapped, but that was the last thing on your mind. he kissed you softly, with so much tenderness as if he was afraid that you’ll disappear if he kissed you too hard.

but you didn’t complain. the kiss was a product of months and months of pining and secret glances at each other. both of you sighed in relief into each other’s mouths like the kiss was the thing the both of you wanted most in life. and it was.

iwaizumi may not be good with words, but you didn’t mind if this is what you get instead.

‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾ ⭒ ⊹ ⭒ ☽༓･*˚⁺‧͙

✎ a/n: I hope you guys like this one! I had fun writing this one bc this is sort of self-indulgent heheh :^) as always, reblogs and comments are appreciated!!!

other works

#[❥] iwaizooming fics #haikyuu #iwaizumi angst #iwaizumi x reader #iwaizumi headcanons #haikyuu headcanons #iwaizumi x y/n #haikyuu angst #iwaizumi hajime #iwaizumi fluff #iwaizumi au #haikyuu short story #haikyuu fanfiction

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childofhelios · 3 years

Text

special chemistry (candy, candy)

ship: Na Jaemin x Lee Jeno x Huang Renjun

characters: Na Jaemin, Lee Jeno, Huang Renjun

rating: general

word count: 1,098

the title is from baekhyun’s candy lolol and this was based off the prompt: “do you really need all of that candy?” this took me like ten freaking years to write this, im sorry if the flow is weird. half of it was written was when i was really sleep deprived and the other half i had written at 3 am after sleeping for like five hours vkjsnldkdv. also it feels very renmin heavy bc i really like their dynamic and wanted to build on it. but please enjoy and feel free to send a message/ask about it :DDD

“Do you really need all of that candy?”

“Come onnnnnn, it’s not even that much!”

I glance at the cart I’ve been pushing around for the last hour, the contents nearly spilling over the top, and look back at him.

“Okay, maybe I did go a bit over the top, but you can’t blame me. The house, and I, have been seriously sugar deprived.”

“Jaemin, this is our fourth time here in a month. You’re not deprived, you’re dependent.”

“Well, if you feel like that, then me and my candy are leaving.” He pouts, but I can tell it isn’t sincere due to the sparkle in his eyes. He pulls the cart into another aisle, leaving me behind. I stand there for a while until I feel my phone buzz.

My ☀️: are you coming 🥺

I roll my eyes as I turn the corner. There isn’t many people in the shop so it was easy to spot the cart, which is being manned by two people. I creep up and pull the person nearest me into a chokehold.

“RENJUN! Let go of me!”

“No, this is your fault. You enable him too much and that’s how we end up here all the time.”

“You don’t enable him enough.”

I glare at him before ruffling his hair and letting him go. “That isn’t true and you know it. Besides, we barely have enough room in the kitchen to fit all of this. Can’t we just take some stuff out?”

“Jeno, don’t you dare let him. By the time he’s done, the cart will be empty.”

“That’s the point!”

Jeno puts his hands in his pockets and shrugs. “My moon, just let him buy what he wants and he can suffer consequences.”

“Don’t “my moon” me. You know that we’re gonna be the ones taking care of him when he gets a stomachache again. I refuse to watch Beauty and the Beast for 45th time.”

Jaemin pipes up. “I will not stand for Beauty and the Beast slander. It’s a masterpiece.”

“Then sit. “

“Okay, how about this: my sun, we will take out some of the more expensive stuff but we’ll get everything else. And then, my moon, we’ll visit that hotpot place you like down the street and I’ll make sure that Jaemin doesn’t eat any of this until tomorrow afternoon. Sound like a plan?”

“My star, no wonder the two of us make up the better half of this relationship.” Jaemin slides an arm around his waist and smiles blaringly at Jeno.

I huff, throwing my hands in the air. “Jaemin, that’s not even how basic math works!”

“Who says it doesn’t work like that?”

“Anyone who knows two shits about math!!!”

We argued all the way until we got to the cash register. I reluctantly scanned everything in cart, ignoring Jaemin’s excited stare and Jeno’s content one. When I pulled out my card to pay, a hand stops.

“Renjun, you really don’t have to pay for it. I can do it, since I’m the reason we’re here.”

“Jaemin, it’s fine. I don’t mind. I might complain a lot, but I like being here, especially with you two.” I hold his hand and lean in, whispering. “Besides, you can share some of the chocolates we bought as collateral. Deal?”

“Deal.”

“Lovely. Now that’s dealt with, let’s leave Jeno to deal with the bags while we go warm up in the car.” Jaemin and I link arms and walk away quickly so Jeno’s shouts grow softer and softer. We climb into the car, both of us in the backseat. We’re both breathing heavily and when we lock eyes, we start laughing hysterically. Even as the trunk opens to a slightly annoyed Jeno to when he climbs into the driver’s seat, we couldn’t stop laughing.

“You know, sometimes it feels like you two gang up on me almost as much yall do it to each other.”

Jaemin gives him a kiss on the cheek. “Yeah, that’s because of the law of equivalent exchange. You give us love and devotion in its original form and we give it back to you in the form of bullying. See? Completely fair.”

“That sounds like the complete opposite of fair. Renjun, back me up here.”

“Shhhhhhh, let’s drive. There’s a bowl of hotpot with my name on it.” Jeno grumbles, but we catch each others eyes in the rearview mirror. I smile at him, and his eyes run into crescents that make me want to call him “my moon” instead. He puts the car in drive and pulls out of the parking lot, the quiet hum of the car almost lulling me to sleep. I look over to my side, but Jaemin is already knocked out and snoring softly.

I lean forward in my seat to talk to Jeno. “I’m amazed at how fast he falls asleep sometimes.”

“Well, he didn’t sleep last night. I’m surprised he didn’t knock out earlier.”

“Did he have a nightmare or something?”

“Nope, he just didn’t feel like it.” I frown and look back at him. He looks so peaceful that I really don’t want to disturb him.

“Maybe we should-”

“Order it to-go and eat it at the house?”

“You read my mind, my star. Thank you.” He hums in agreement and I sit back. Once we arrive at the restaurant, I go in and pick up the food. I open and close the door gently, trying not to disturb him. Then, we drive back to our house which is only 15 minutes away thankfully. Jeno parks the car and we are faced with a dilemma.

“Wait, are we gonna wake him up to go inside?”

“That’s what we should do.” Five minutes of agonizing over what to do, we decided to have me carry in the food and Jeno carry in Jaemin.

“Why does it feel like I do all of the heavy work in this relationship.”

“Maybe don’t go to the gym everyday and have a body builder figure.”

“We all go to the gym together! Jaemin works out almost as much as me!”

I shush him. “Shut up, you’re gonna wake him up.” Jeno walks away and the sight of the two of them makes my heart swell. Jaemin, drooling on Jeno’s shoulder in sound sleep, and Jeno, who noticed and is most definitely annoyed by it but won’t say anything about it. Seeing the two of them makes me realize something. I won’t ever tell them this, but even though Jaemin has the sugar addiction, they’re the two sweetest things in my life.

#nct #nct fanfic #norenmin #norenmin au #lee jeno #na jaemin #huang renjun #jeno fanfic #jaemin fanfic #renjun fanfic #jaemin x jeno x renjun #helios writes

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twoidiotwriters1 · 3 years

Text

Written In The Stars CXXXIX (Harry Potter xF!Oc)

A/N: I’m scared to see how you guys will react to this one, hope you at least find it enjoyable despite my very self-indulgent plots -Danny

P.S. Huge s/o to @bwbatta bc I decided to update my fic and now I have pretty dividers in all my books! Most of the ones I ended up using are her work so go check it out :)

Words: 4,641

Series’ Masterlist

Book V // Next Chapter

Listen to: ‘Need Your Love’ -by Joshua Wicker

Chapter One: Dumbledore's Mission.

"A galleon says Erick will crash the car —"

"Shut up!"

"Don't make him nervous," Emily scolded Harry. "If you continue this I won't teach you how to drive!"

"We don't need to learn," Mel snorted. "We'll apparate everywhere..."

"I thought you hated it," Her mother raised a brow.

"Yeah, but she's lazy," Harry smirked.

"Why is Harry here? He's not allowed to leave the house, is he?" Mel frowned.

"He's not allowed to be alone outside, there's a difference. We're babysitting two infants, unfortunately..." Erick taunted.

"What's the matter, Flint? You have stage-fright?" Harry replied.

"Oh please, he feeds on attention! Like a dementor but in a more annoying way..."

"Enough!" Emily looked over her seat. "Is that the kind of things you want to teach your brother?"

"I doubt he'll remember any of this!"

"We know he can do it, Em, we're just teasing," Harry said blithely.

"Yeah, he's the only adult here apart from you, mum. It's kind of his obligation to be good at driving."

The baby let out a squeal of agreement, he was three weeks old but had a good set of lungs that he was happy to use at any given time, especially while everyone was sleeping.

Harry leaned and checked that the baby's blankets. Mel beamed at the sight, the boy had pretty much adopted the boy as his own brother, which she thought made a lot of sense, not only because it was Sirius' son, but because he'd been part of her family for so long that anything else would've been silly.

They were well aware that bringing little Regulus to their driving lessons was a bit risky, but Emily wasn't as keen to leave Mel and Harry alone in the house as she used to, so she put a few safety spells on the chair once the baby was seated while Harry and Mel sat on both sides of it.

Erick turned out to be a good driver, but he still had a bit of trouble understanding how cars worked.

"I have to be pulling and pushing stuff all the time!" He complained as he activated the windshield on accident for the third time. "Why can't I just turn the key and press the pedal?"

"Cars don't work like that," Emily said patiently. "It's complicated, but you're good!"

"He's only gone up and down the street for half an hour, Leggie fell asleep already," The girl huffed.

Emily looked over the seat once again, she was frowning. "Erick, switch seats with Mel."

"You're joking... right?"

"Erick," The woman repeated.

"On it," He said happily. "C'mon Mel, are you scared?"

Ten minutes later, Erick was in the backseat and she was tightly holding onto the wheel.

"I'm doing it!" She said. "Is not that hard, is it?"

"A slug could move faster," Harry was looking at the roof of the car and dying of heat. "I thought you were going to be more... the reckless type of driver."

"Me too..." Erick agreed lazily, he was playing with one of Reggie's feet.

"I'm not going faster, my brother's in the car!" Mel scoffed.

"We're not asking you to! Just enough so we can feel like we're actually moving!"

"Bringing you three was a bad idea," Emily said over the boys' laughter.

"Fine!" Mel pressed down the pedal, the car immediately gaining speed. "I'm was just being careful!"

"Which makes me proud," Emily softly patted her shoulder. "It feels like it was yesterday when you were running around Remus' house in nothing but a diaper and now you're driving!"

"The other night I ran into her wearing no pants, so she's hasn't changed really," Erick murmured nonchalantly. "I stepped on Grey's tail thanks to that... maybe that's why he hates me so much."

"What?" Harry's head snapped to the side so fast he hurt himself.

"I forgot you live here now! Sometimes I sleep like that, s'not a crime!" She looked at Harry through the rearview mirror. "I've been an only child for sixteen years, sometimes I forget there are more than two people in my house..."

"I'm surprised her scream didn't wake up Leon," Erick sniggered.

"He's a heavy sleeper like his dad," Emily responded distractedly.

The conversation died instantly. It wasn't the woman's intention, of course, but it'd been only a few weeks since Sirius' passing, sometimes they would forget for a moment, just a brief second, then one of them would talk about Sirius and everything would start again...

It was painful, and it was weird. Mel had never endured something like this with anyone except Harry. Having a larger group of people sharing the same pain was strangely comforting.

Mel cleared her throat. "It's Harry's turn..."

"I'm okay," He said quickly. "I can learn another day..."

"Glasses, you and I have a tradition of experiencing things at the same time," The girl stopped the car and turned to look at him. "You're not going to ruin our streak. Besides, I need to know if I'm better than you."

Harry stared at her in amusement, then he looked at Erick.

"Is it fun, having her bossing you around all day?"

"I boss her around too," Erick smirked.

"They take turns," Her mother sighed.

"I'm sorry to hear that," Harry gave the woman a look of sympathy as he stepped out of the car.

"There are worse things than being stuck with two pushy teenagers..."

"Hey!"

"Sorry," Emily smirked. "A pushy teenager and a pushy adult."

"If it annoys you that much I'll move out," Mel offered humorously. "What d'you say, Prince? Should we try our luck outside our comfort zone?"

"You wouldn't last a day," Erick taunted.

"Fiddlesticks," Mel muttered, to which Harry laughed.

It was around three in the morning when someone knocked on her door. She'd been awake for a while now, so she stood up and opened it.

"Hi," She rubbed her eyes. "What's up?"

"Can't sleep," Erick mumbled. "Care if I stay a moment?"

"Go ahead..."

She went back to bed, Erick sat at the edge and stared at her for a moment. Grey let out a sleepy growl, curling further away from his reach. Erick pulled out his pocket watch, now hanging from a chain he'd found in Regulus Black's room back in Grimmauld Place. The reason why he'd taken it was unknown to Mel.

"What's up?" She mumbled, suppressing a yawn.

"I'm thinking."

"About?"

"How lucky I am."

Mel let out a puff of air without replying. He would do this often, say he was lucky to be there, that she'd saved his life... She just wanted him to shut up.

"I really don't want to punch you, Prince, I'd ruin your pretty nose."

He smiled, unbothered.

"You know, a few years ago you would've been pleased to hear me say that, you ungrateful git."

"Yeah well, a few years ago my biggest dream was to become a princess," She joked. "So you see my priorities were a bit messed up..."

"You'd make a cute princess."

"C'mon —"

"I mean it."

"Erick," Mel said in a tone of warning. "Stop."

He'd been acting like that for a whole week: flirting when no one was around, complimenting her... Mel had closed up so tightly around herself that she was barely capable of saying I love you to her mum. Erick had lived deprived of affection his whole life and was just getting out of that environment. At what point had she become the cold, distant one, and he the ray of sunshine?

She knew right away what he was trying to do, but she was so numb... Mel cared about him, but she was not there yet.

Erick leaned on the wall and tilted his head a bit so he could look at her.

"I'm sorry."

"Why?" She replied. "It's not your fault... I just — I need time."

He nodded shortly.

"We can talk later?"

He was wonderful, but she was in the middle of all that was wrong in their world, right next to Harry and the lifeline that she still hadn't decided whether she wanted to keep or not.

"We should go to bed," She murmured, still unable to make any real decisions for herself.

"Yeah," He stood up, carefully putting the blankets back in place and dropping them all over Grey on purpose. He put the watch back in his pocket as well. "Sweet dreams, Mely."

The Ministry of Magic

PROTECTING YOUR HOME AND FAMILY AGAINST DARK FORCES

The Wizarding community is currently under threat from an organization calling itself the Death Eaters. Observing the following simple security guidelines will help protect you, your family, and your home from attack.

"I have a better way to protect our house," Erick groaned, he was gently rubbing his temples. "Let Leon cry the whole night and not even Voldemort will try to enter... I myself am starting to consider living on the street just to get away from the noise."

"S'not that bad," She answered, the dark circles under her eyes giving her away. "It's hard to get used to being a human, you know?"

"Look at this," Emily unfolded the newspaper. "'Scrimgeour succeeds Fudge' — Well, haven't met him yet but I hope he's got a bit of brain, Tonks told me a few months back that he's certainly a bit brisker..."

The doorbell rang and Mel left to open the door.

The routine at that point was established even if it had been only two weeks since their arrival; Erick got used to life at Privet Drive quite easily, he spent two whole days examining every corner of the kitchen, and when Mel showed him what a movie was, he wasted a whole day in the drawing-room watching the movie adaptations of the books she'd lent to him.

Harry would go daily to check on"Reg". Once he'd stayed the night but refused to sleep in Mel's room, not that she'd tried to convince him otherwise.

"Goodmorning," She opened the door without paying attention, "you're a bit late for breakfast but I'll let it pass as soon as you —"

She stopped talking at the sight of her great-uncle, Dumbledore smiled at her and walked in.

"I can't stay for breakfast, but I dare say I regret it deeply."

"Professor... I — Is everything okay?"

"Certainly."

"To what do we owe the pleasure?"

Mel turned to see her mother standing near the stairs, gazing at Dumbledore coldly.

"Emily," Dumbledore said. "Good morning... I'm here to speak with Mr Flint."

"Is he in trouble?"

"Quite the contrary, I believe he's never been better."

"Professor," Erick's posture changed when he walked into the room, suddenly he looked more like a young man and less like a boy. "What can I do for you?"

"I have a mission for you... Mel as well, but only if she wishes to go."

"She's not of age," The woman replied quickly.

Mel was ready to accept whatever it was he wanted her to do, she needed to feel like she was doing something. Although she wasn't exactly happy to see him so soon after the end of their last term.

"As I said, only if she wishes to come. I assure you she'd be safe."

The girl looked at her mother and then at the men standing in front of her.

"Can I hear what this is about first?"

Emily crossed her arms without uttering a word, her uncle signalled towards the couch.

"A word, then?"

Erick nodded, making a beeline to the closest armchair. Emily turned to leave, but Dumbledore spoke again.

"You can stay."

The woman shared a look with her daughter, Mel couldn't hide her eagerness to hear what the old man had to say.

"I won't sit there and watch history repeat itself," Emily sighed.

The woman left before Mel could say anything. She would talk to her later, but first, she needed to talk to Dumbledore.

"I beg you not to interrupt me while I speak."

Both pupils silently agreed to his petition.

"Now, I find myself in need of a new Professor, but the man I'd been contemplating for the job has been on the run for almost a year — He's not guilty of any crimes," He added, noticing the way their faces grew worried. "He's just afraid like everyone else... I need you to track him down and point me to where he is so I can have a word with him."

"I'll do it," Erick responded instantly.

"Alone?" Mel frowned.

Dumbledore stared at her for a second too long.

"If I remember correctly today is your sixteenth birthday, isn't it?"

"Yes."

"Mr Flint turned seventeen in January — You may know that's considered to be the start of our adulthood."

"Yes."

"Erick is allowed to do magic outside school... But you still have a year left."

"I don't see —"

"You have Matthew's spirit when it comes to saving a friend, Mel. When you were eleven you left this house with Hagrid so you could look for Harry yourself... The time has come for me to finally be honest with you."

"What do you mean 'finally'?" The words were burning a hole in her brain. "You mean all the things you told me when I was in your office last month... that wasn't it?"

Erick stared at them with polite interest, even though she knew he was dying to ask. Mel hadn't told him a thing about that night out of respect for Harry's privacy.

"That was all I had to tell you regarding the Harry," Dumbledore replied. "There are plenty of things I haven't said, and I wish to talk about them with you."

"And if I agree to go with Erick on this mission... you'll tell me?" Mel raised a brow.

"I'll tell you whether you help me with this or not, but I believe there's nothing else I can teach you, Mel. All that's left for you is to start putting your knowledge to use; I recommend you to go on this mission."

"What about my animagus lessons?"

"Ah, yes," Dumbledore smiled. "I'll help you with that, but that'll be it. You've concluded your lessons with the highest marks, dear girl."

She would've been elated hadn't been because of the strange way her uncle was acting.

"Aren't you happy?" Erick nudged her arm gently. "You've worked hard for years, you should be proud!"

"I am proud," Mel replied shortly. "And I'd love to help, but I can't leave my family, it's not safe."

"They'd go to the burrow if you leave."

"What about Harry?"

"He'll go to the burrow too, but I have a few matters to attend with his family first."

"If Mel wants to stay that's alright, I can go on my own —"

"You can't."

Erick looked at her irritated.

"It's not like you can do magic outside school."

"It takes more than magic to survive out there — You don't know how to blend in with the muggles, do you?"

"You can discuss this throughout the day," Dumbledore grabbed a letter from his pocket. "In this, you'll find all about Horace Slughorn's last known whereabouts and a picture so you can identify him. If you do, don't approach, he'll know you're following him. As soon as you find him come back to Privet Drive and write to me."

"This is all just in case we decide to go, right?"

"I'm going," Erick scowled at her.

"We'll talk about this after dinner," She glared back.

Dumbledore stood up and they followed, Emily was at the entrance ready to let him out.

"I'll wait for your response, then," Her uncle stared at her for a moment. "You and Harry..."

"We haven't decided," She was quick to reply. "We need time."

"Very well."

"You're quiet."

"I have a lot to think about."

Her day had been slightly ruined by her great-uncle's visit. Although Lupin had been there for a couple of hours and stayed for dinner. Mel and Erick talked about the mission and she'd promised to tell Harry after the party was over, which was now.

The Slytherin was upstairs taking a shower and Emily was putting Reggie to bed. Mel and Harry were sitting on the grass, watching the stars above them. She'd fallen into contemplative silence, pondering what to do. She could go chase some stranger for Dumbledore's benefit, or she could stay and look after her family.

"This would be much easier if my mum had asked me to stay!" She pouted.

"I reckon she knows that," Harry responded, throwing small rocks over the fence.

"Won't you?"

"Hmm?"

"You won't ask me to stay?"

Harry stared at her.

"No."

He didn't explain his reasons, but he didn't need to. Mel had made up her mind even if she didn't want to admit it. That was exactly why she was so upset, she wanted to look after her family, but her responsibilities were keeping her apart. Three years of hard work had led to this, and although Mel was a big sister now, winning the war was more important than changing diapers.

Her mother was a whole different problem too. Around them she was always cheery, but Mel was sure she'd heard her cry when none of the boys was around to hear.

She believed it was about Sirius, but it could also be about her and Harry, that she was scared for them. Mel didn't have the heart to lie if her mother were to ask about the prophecy. It was, as they had agreed without even having to speak about it, too much weight to put on their loved one's shoulders. The idea of Emily, the closest thing to a mother Harry ever had, finding out there was a big chance one of them would die after having lost Sirius in such a brutal way...

"I don't think I'll be able to look at Dumbledore in the eye if I come back empty-handed..."

"You're one of the best witches I know," Harry shrugged. "You'll be fine, just try not to murder Flint while you're away."

"He's less annoying now," She grinned. "Ever since he left his parents' house, dunno, he's improved. Although I might murder him if he doesn't stop —"

She was going to say 'flirting', but for some reason, she didn't feel ready to talk about that with Harry. She wasn't ready for anything and yet the world was forcing her to keep moving, it was exhausting.

Mel got up and offered her hand to her friend.

"Do you remember when you were just Harry and I was just Mel, and we were the odd kids at school?" She fixed her gaze on her bedroom window. "Wish we could go back to that."

"When I didn't know I was a wizard?"

"Things were easier back then, don't you think?"

"Maybe," He retorted. "But they were never entirely good."

In Harry, Mel found another reason to stay.

They could have the summer to talk about the things they needed to. She would stare at his aged features and compare them to the ones of that young boy she used to call her best friend...

Their bond still had thousands of cracks that had to be fixed, Mel was having a hard time letting him in again and they needed to be okay in order to know if they wanted to keep the lifeline or not. It wasn't that she didn't want to like him, she wanted the comfort he used to provide, the warmth and security of having someone who understood.

He knew it, and he was trying his best to not mess it up, but Mel didn't want to love him again, cutting the lifeline was the best way to assure that... It was easier said than done, though.

Harry was confused. Sometimes it felt like nothing would ever happen, then an overwhelming affection would crush his chest whenever Mel laughed or touched him. He didn't want to put a name to it, he was terrified of saying it, even to himself. All he knew was that the connection was a way to make sure Mel would be safe, and he didn't want to give that up.

"I should go."

"Yeah..."

"Happy birthday," He said. "I have to be honest and tell you that your present was meant to be sent last Christmas, but..."

"I didn't give you a present either, it's okay... I'm a bit angry though, that was a missed opportunity, I could've won."

Harry laughed.

"You'll have a new chance this year, but I doubt you'll be able to beat me — I've already gotten yours..."

"It's July!"

"I know," His smile vanished suddenly, then he added. "Be careful out there, please."

"Erick'll make sure I don't do anything stupid," Mel smiled. "He's so obsessed with protecting me — as if he didn't know I can do it alone just fine!"

"Yeah, but now's different."

"Different how?"

"We need you alive," He told her. "You want to live long enough to become Headmistress, right?"

Mel froze, not knowing what to answer.

"What?" Harry tilted his head.

"I lied," She blurted out. "I never wanted to be Headmistress — I saw you that night, in the mirror... I saw..."

"What?" He asked again, this time softer.

"You kissed me. A real kiss... like the type we used to gawk at as children."

Harry cleared his throat. "Oh."

A tense silence surrounded them. The variations of colour in his eyes were remarkably easy to notice from where she was standing. She was tilting her head up now, perhaps they were too close.

"Be careful."

"You told me that already," Mel whispered, unable to look away. "Anything else you'd like to say?"

"Yes," He paused, his eyes took a quick glance to her lips. "But if I say it you'll get mad."

Harry kissed her, Mel responded by pulling him down.

It was hard to tell whether she was euphoric or scared, perhaps both, or perhaps neither. As soon as it happened Harry jumped away, and she was dropped back into reality.

"I can't do it — We haven't talked about the lifeline — We won't make the right choice if we let our feelings —"

"You're right! Yes!" Mel said, acting just as agitated. "It's a terrible idea — I like you, but—"

"—it's confusing," He said anxiously. "Do you have feelings for me?"

"Do you have feelings for me?" Mel asked in a high-pitched voice.

"No!" He responded, but his voice trembled with a lack of confidence. "I care about you a lot —"

"— I care for you too —"

"— But just —"

"— as friends!"

They stared at each other with the same frightened expression.

"I'm sorry if I made things uncomfortable," He groaned, running a hand through his hair. "I... I don't want to lose you."

"We need to spend some time apart," She nodded, avoiding his eyes. "We can ignore this happened, right?"

"Absolutely," He agreed. "You're spending the summer at the burrow?"

"My mum and my brother will be there, so I kind of have to... is that okay?"

"It's okay," Harry looked around. "We... we should go."

"Did you ever regret falling for my dad?" Mel asked randomly. "I mean, you ever wonder how things would've turned out if you'd stayed as friends?"

Emily stopped folding her clothes.

"Something nagging that head of yours?"

"I think relationships are a waste of time. They all break and you always end up hurting..."

"What makes you think such nonsense?" Emily raised a brow, leaning back on the couch. "Who are you and what did you do to my daughter?"

"You don't think that way?" She asked doubtfully.

"Because I lost my partners that means I have to be bitter?"

"I didn't mean it like that," Mel replied quickly. "But... yeah."

Emily remained silent for a moment, gathering her thoughts.

"Solitude can do weird things to your heart, love. It can pull you towards bad or good places... People that make you feel a little less lonesome, someone who understands you. You should hold onto that for as long as you can, no matter how scary it is. You never know what wonderful things may bring you..."

"Sirius said something similar a year ago," Mel said quietly. "Something about finding my equal, that the earth's full of options and stuff..."

"I won't force you to find a partner if that's not what you want, but you're young and the world is big, you can't turn your back on every opportunity."

"It's not like I have lots of prospects right now..." She huffed.

"You don't need lots, just the right one."

Mel hesitated for a moment, then added:

"I know you used to have a crush on James Potter."

Emily looked up from the laundry again, she raised a brow. "Oh?"

"I know it was a long time ago," She shifted in her place awkwardly. "But do you ever wonder what would've happened if you two..?"

The woman sighed.

"Only once."

"When?"

"When I found out Voldemort was after his son," She folded the last shirt and handed it to Mel. "I asked myself if I had made the right choice by giving him up... When I look at you I know it was the right thing to do. What happened to James and Lily... it was horrible, but it wasn't my fault. I was happy with your father; maybe Matthew wasn't my first love, but when it comes to this, your first love rarely is the one that lasts."

"Mel?" Erick walked into the room. "If we're planning to drive around all day tomorrow, you should sleep," He nodded shortly at both of them and left the room, her mother chuckled.

"You know, Erick reminds me of your father... I know Sirius said he was like his brother, but Regulus made all the wrong choices... Erick's done all this for himself, to be better. Just like Matty."

Mel's gaze lingered on the doorway long after Erick had left.

"Thank you, for letting me go," She sighed, looking back at the woman. "I don't love following Dumbledore's orders but I... I want to make this world a better place."

"Love," Emily cupped her face adoringly. "I know why you're doing this. Just how I knew why you flew that car to save Harry, and why you went to the Ministry... but you're my daughter, and it's my job to worry about you anyway."

Erick and Mel took three changes of clothing and put them in the trunk, Emily gave them muggle money. Mel had a fake driver's license as well as Erick, and they would take turns driving. Harry was nowhere to be seen, but it was expected since it was five in the morning. She hadn't mentioned the kiss to either her mother or Erick, she was determined to keep it that way, much like the whole lifeline stuff and the prophecy.

'Just pile more secrets on top, why don't you,' She thought bitterly as she walked out of the house.

Emily hugged both and let them kiss Reggie goodbye, Mel promised they would see each other soon, and Erick vowed he'd make sure Mel would be safe (she snorted loudly at this). Once inside the car, her friend took a deep breath.

"Ready?"

"This isn't our first adventure, Prince."

"This one's the first we do with permission."

"You're an adult, you don't need anyone's approval."

"You know what I mean," He rolled his eyes.

"Sorry. I get defensive when I'm —"

"I know," He sighed. "I talk too much when I'm worried."

"I know," She put a hand on his shoulder and squeezed lightly. "I'm ready... We'll be okay."

Next Chapter —>

Taglist.

@dee123ksha @vampiregirl1797 @siriuslysirius1107 @stardusthigh @mikariell95 @vernon-dursley @thesuitelifeofafangirl @tomshollandz @wlwmaximoff @reverse-hxlland @hamiltonwc @omiwashere @t-rexs-world @just-here-to-escape-from-reality @21bruhs @i-am-scared-and-useless-bisexual @dielgonacoffee @thelastpyle

#twoidiots writing #hp fanfic #Harry Potter #harry potter xoc #harry potter fanfiction #WITT fic

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ipuckwithhockey · 4 years

Text

I’d Rather Rescue Myself - Travis Konecny

a/n: Did I write this based on the Cheetah Girls hit, Cinderella? bc I did. no I didn’t. I don’t think this will surprise anyone but this is kind of angsty and dramatic, but I think it’s cute in the end. Let me know what you think :)

Warnings: Single mom, cursing, drinking, angst, a little bit of anxiety, I think that’s it

——

When I was just a little girl, my momma used to tuck me into bed

She read me a story

It always was about a Princess in distress and how a guy would save her

End up with the glory

Your mom was a hopeless romantic. She fell hard and fast for the men that came in and out of her life. She wasn’t running around being reckless or anything, she just loved being in love. She loved the honeymoon phase and she loved the idea of finding her prince charming.

Your dad left when you were just a baby, but your mom didn’t harbor on the loss. That was another thing about your mom— she was an undying optimist. She said that her relationship with your father wasn’t meant to be, and that her real prince charming was somewhere out there waiting to find her.

You actually believed all the elaborate bedtime stories she told you for a while. You thought you too would find your prince charming who would sweep you off your feet and rescue you from the harsh realities of your average Philadelphia life.

Your mom did eventually find Steve, a real-estate broker, that made her very happy. You liked Steve. He was nice and had a good job, and really did care for your mom. They’ve been married almost two years now, and you’ve never seen your mom happier. Maybe she was right, her prince charming was waiting out there for her, except he wasn’t in a castle or riding a horse into the sunset, he was just trying to decide which slice and bake cookies he should get for his open house. That’s how they met. In the freezer section of the grocery. Your mom helped him decide on one pack of sugar and one pack of chocolate chip, they exchanged numbers, and the rest is history.

Then one day I realized the fairy tale life wasn't for me

I don't wanna be like Cinderella

Sittin' in a dark old dusty cellar

Waiting for somebody, to come and set me free

You really tried to be optimistic. You would put yourself out there, go on dates, and even had a couple serious relationships throughout college. There was just one problem— they never worked out. You were always left heartbroken. So your senior year of college you decided that you had had enough.

You were done feeling sorry for yourself. You were smart and driven and didn’t need a man to rescue you. You had a great internship that would hopefully turn into a job after graduation and you were the top of your class. You weren’t going to let another boy come in and distract you from your goals. So you swore off boys. It’s not that you didn’t want to find someone eventually, you just didn’t have the time or energy to bother with them now. This was time to focus on you.

That year you met Travis Konecny and his band of brothers from the Philadelphia Flyers. Your roommate, Katie, had hooked up with Joel Farabee a couple of times but they ultimately decided they were better off as just fiends. You and Travis became quick friends. You had a similar sense of humor and even though he was the worlds biggest, dumbest redneck, you had a soft spot for the kid. He was busy with hockey and didn’t have time for a relationship, and so he understood why you didn’t want one either.

Soon started the movie nights and casual hang outs. You even started to teach him how to cook. You would admit that he was very handsome (when he showered and properly groomed himself), but you were just friends. It was never anything else. Neither of you wanted it to be anything else.

You both had had other hookups and occasionally a date, and you would laugh together over how bad they were afterward, saying “see, this is why i don’t need a relationship.”

That was almost two years ago. You did end up graduating at the top of your class, and the internship did turn into an amazing job. You worked hard and were hopefully in line for a big promotion at the end of the month.

You lived on your own now, but Katie just lived a block away. Shortly after her and Joel decided to remain friends she met Chris. He was a great guy and they recently moved in together. You were really happy for Katie and all of your friends who had found great guys to settle down with. You were only 23 but it seemed like most of your friends had found their match, and you would be lying if you said it didn’t bother you.

It’s not that you wanted to get hitched and have a baby right this second, you were still very young, but the thought of having a caring boyfriend to come home to was something you just couldn’t get out of your head lately.

Someday, I'm gonna find someone who wants my soul, heart and mind

Who's not afraid to show that he loves me

Somebody who will understand I'm happy just the way I am

Don't need nobody taking care of me

Now you found yourself on Travis’ couch ranting about how all of your college friends were taking their boyfriends to Katie’s birthday party this weekend. Again, you were happy for them, you really were! But you didn’t want to be the only single one there. It was one thing to get a sad look from your mom when she asked you if you were seeing anyone, it was another thing to get sad looks from about a dozen of your friends. You knew they just wanted you to find someone who made you happy, but you hadn’t yet, and there wasn’t anything that could change that.

“I just wish I could find someone who wants me for me, you know? Someone who gets that my career is just as important as his, and who understands that when I say I don’t want anything to eat I actually do, I’m just too hard headed to admit it!” You were ranting on about the perfect guy, and all Travis could think was that he was that guy.

He would show up at your door out of the blue because he knew the “work’s been busy, just gonna go home and get some stuff done” reply to his hang out invitation actually meant “I’ve never been as stressed as I am right now, and haven’t eaten in 12 hours, and I could really use a hug.” He was always there for you, and you were always there for him. People didn’t always understand your relationship, and last year when Travis started dating a girl, she became so jealous of your friendship. Eventually, Travis ended it when she asked him to choose between her or you. There really wasn’t any contest. He would choose you every time. That was when he realized he had some serious feelings for you. Travis wasn’t good with feelings, and as much as he wanted to tell you he loved you, he didn’t want to mess with your friendship. It was too important to him, and up until recently you had been pretty dedicated to your no relationship lifestyle.

So instead of telling you how much he loved you and how he was the guy who valued your career and goals just as much as his own, he just offered to go with you to the party in question, “Well I’ll go with you. I like your friends, and then I’ll also get the sad looks because I too am single and lonely, so you won’t be alone.”

You laugh, Travis was right, you would probably have a good time if was there. You always have a good time when he’s around, and your friends like him too. They know you’re just friends but they never hesitate to give you a hard time about how you’ll end up together one day. You know he’s not into you like that, but that doesn’t stop you from wondering what it would be like to one day call him yours.

“Hello???? Is anyone home?” He’s waving his hands in front of you after you zoned out thinking about how great it would be to come home to him after a long day at work,

“Oh yeah, sorry, that would actually be great. You don’t have to, I know I’ve been annoying lately with all the work talk and complaining about relationshi-“

“Don’t worry about it. The party will be fun, we haven’t been out together in forever. And I know you’re stressed, even though you shouldn’t be. There’s no way you’re not getting that promotion. That doucheface, Jack is barely smart enough to do his current job, there’s no way they would give him the promotion over you.”

“His name is Jake, but yes he is a doucheface and even though I may be more qualified, he has been at the company longer than me so there’s a good chance he’ll get it just based on that.”

“You worry too much. You’re gonna get it, and we’re all gonna celebrate when you do.”

I can slay, my own dragon

I can dream, my own dreams

My knight in shining armor is me

So now it was Friday night, and you found yourself next to Travis in a crowded bar that Katie had picked for her birthday celebration. You had had the longest week known to man, and all you really wanted to do was sleep. But alas, you were here and trying to have a good time.

Travis had been great the whole night, socializing with your friends, make his stupid jokes, and getting you drinks. You really did appreciate him coming, but something just felt off. He has always been a touchy guy but it seemed like he had his arm around you more than usual tonight, and when he talked to your friends he would say “we” when referring to the two of you. It felt too domestic, and if felt too claustrophobic.

Even his praises when the group asked about your work annoyed you. You didn’t know if you were just on edge from work or if Travis’ overstepping was really getting to you.

You needed a minute to yourself so excused yourself to get another drink.

“Sit down, I got it,” Travis stands to get you another drink, and that’s when you start to lose it. In the back of your mind you know he’s just being nice, but you’re already seeing red and nothing can stop you now.

“I am perfectly capable of getting my own drink, and I really don’t need a man to babysit me all night, so you can sit down, and I’ll get it for myself.”

You turn and head for the door of the bar, not caring that your friends, and Travis, are all staring at you completely taken aback by what just came flying out of your mouth. You make it outside, needing a minute in the cold winter air, before Travis catches up to you.

“What the hell is going on? Did I do something?”

“Travis. I really appreciate you trying to ‘take care of me’ of whatever it is you’re trying to do, but I can take care of myself. I’ve been doing it a long time, there’s no reason why I can’t continue to do so.”

You’re being mean now. You know it, but it’s not stopping you. You can’t help but push him away because it feels easier to just deny the feelings you know you have. The hurt in Travis’ eyes almost makes you take it all back, but you know that if you push him enough he’ll be just as stubborn and mad as you, and then you can fight it out instead of actually talking about what’s going on. So you continue, knowing that what you’re going to say will just piss him off,

“You’re not my boyfriend, and I didn’t ask you to act like it. If you want a girl to parade around in front of people, go find someone else, because I’m not your girl. You just need to back off, ok?”

“I’m not trying to control you, or ‘parade you around’ I have no clue why you think I’d even want that,” He puts up big air quotes when he throws your words back at you,

“I just know how stressed you are and how you don’t ever see your friends because your whole life is your fucking job. I just wanted to make this night fun and relaxing for you. And I’m sorry if I’m proud of you for being so successful, but did it ever occur to you that maybe I am the guy? The guy who wants you for you. The guy who respects your career just as much as his own. The guy who knows that even though you’re standing here pissed as hell, it’s only because you know you have feelings for me too?”

He’s practically yelling and a couple people have definitely taken notice. And maybe he’s right, but your hard head and stubbornness would never let you admit it, so you just decide to walk away.

You leave him standing there outside of a bar that still holds all of your closest friends, and you know that you may have just thrown away your prince charming, but you can’t go back. It would be too much, so you walk home and cry yourself to sleep that night.

I will be there for him just as strong as he, will be there for me

When I give myself then it has got to be, an equal thing

I don't wanna be like Cinderella

Sittin' in a dark old dusty cellar

Waiting for somebody, to come and set me free

You got the promotion. You got it and the only person you wanted to tell was Travis. It’s been weeks since that night you left him outside the bar. He texted and called a few times, eventually he stopped. You thought he might show up at your place but he never did. You tried to be mad at him. You tried to blame him for your friendship falling apart. You also knew that he was right. About everything.

You thought back to all the times you had been there for each other. You thought back to all of the long talks on the phone while he was away for the summers, every time he hyped you up before a big presentation at work, and all the times you waited at his door after what you knew had been a tough game.

You always had each others backs. You didn’t have to ask for it, you just knew that when you fell, the other one would be there to pick you up. You didn’t have to guess. You always knew what he was feeling and you knew how to fix it. He was the same way with you. And yet, you still couldn’t bring yourself to just pick up the phone and call. Maybe it was because you knew he would be on the other end waiting to take you back in the blink of an eye. You knew he’d forgive you for everything and you knew he would love you forever, but you were still scared to admit that maybe you did need him. You felt like it would be an admission of failure that you couldn’t do this on your own.

You didn’t need him to take care of you or to slay a dragon to save you, you just needed HIM. You needed his companionship, his love, and his affection, all of the things that he was so willing to give you, but that you still couldn’t accept.

I don't wanna be like Snow White

waiting for a handsome prince

to come and save me on a horse of white

Unless we're riding side by side

It’s been over a month now, and you haven’t so much as spoken a word to Travis. You had filled Katie in the day after her party, apologizing for leaving without saying goodbye. She tried to comfort you, but you didn’t want to talk about it. You were going to be fine without him. He was just a friend after all. But now Katie was getting fed up. She was tired of watching you mope around town acting like everything was fine, when she knew damn well that you were just too stubborn to admit that you loved Travis too.

“Ok. You seriously need to suck it up buttercup.” Katie came full force through the threshold of your apartment with two bottles of wine and a bag of take out. You were all for a girls night, but you were right when you had concerns of it turning into a “lets talk about your feelings night.”

“You’re losing it. Like I love you, but as your friend I can no longer support this moping around.”

“I have told you over and over again, that I am fine. I got my promotion and I’m doing great at work!” You try to convince her that you’re doing ok, and that you don’t read every shitty article written about the flyers as an attempt to satisfy your Travis craves.

“If you’re oh so fine, then why do you still watch every flyers game? Why are you drinking his favorite wine all the time? And why the fuck are you wearing his clothes???”

You didn’t even remember that you had put on an old hoodie of his this morning until just now. He used to let you borrow the old 67’s hoodie when you were at his place, eventually you just took it home with you, and it’s been your favorite ever since. You wore it now more than ever, but would never admit it was because you missed him.

“It’s just comfortable ok?” But you knew she wasn’t buying it, you knew you were going to have to talk about it at some point.

“...I just feel like if I admit that I need him, it would be like admitting that I can’t take care of myself, that I can’t do this on my own.”

“Babe, it’s not about needing someone to take care of you, it’s just about loving someone and letting them love you back. Travis of all people knows that you are perfectly capable of fending for yourself. I think that’s probably something he loves about you. He knows you. And I know for a fact that he’s waiting for you.”

“And how do you know that?”

“Because he calls me…”

“Wh-what?” Why would Travis bother to call Katie?

“Because he’s worried about you, but he knows that if he suffocates you, you’ll just keep pushing him away. He’s called me regularly for a few weeks now. He just wants to know how you are... But he didn’t want me to tell you because he didn’t want you to feel like he was going behind your back. He loves you. And he’s just waiting for you to come back to him. He’s an idiot, but somehow he’s managed to figure you out.”

He loves you. Travis loves you.

You love him.

You love each other.

He never wanted to take anything from you.

He just wanted your love.

He wanted to give you his love.

It’s like you’re discovering words for the first time, and you know you that you can’t just let this go. You know that you don’t want to keep living your life if you’re not sharing it with him, side by side.

You look over at Katie who knows you’re finally coming to terms with all of this,

“I think I have to go”

“Go get him babe!”

You order an uber and grab your shoes before heading out the door. The ride to Travis’ has never felt longer. You start to question yourself but it’s too late, you know what you have to do. You walk into his building and make your way up to his floor on the elevator. You pace back and forth for a while outside of his apartment, but you tell yourself it’s now or never, and knock on the door. It’s not even 20 seconds later that he’s opening the door,

“Hey, I knew you’d come back.”

For some reason you thought he might still be mad, and he might just slam the door in your face or yell at you, but he’s not. He’s smiling and is reaching out to pull you into his apartment and into a hug. You let him and it’s like you’ve never felt more relief. The weight of the past month is instantly lifted. You feel like you can breathe again. And then the tears start to fall.

“Hey, don’t cry. It’s ok.” He’s consoling you and you’ve never felt worse. He was always right there and you just about threw it all away because you were too stubborn. You both muster out some sorry’s and you’re not even sure how long you’ve been standing there in each others arms. You’re perfectly content just staying there, but eventually he pulls back to look at you.

He wipes away at your tear stained face and looks you right in the eyes,

“I love you. And I never ever want to make you feel like you’re anything less than the amazing, strong, smart, beautiful, independent woman that you are... I just want you to let me love you.”

“Okay... but only on one condition…”

Travis just looks questionably back at you,

“That you let me love you back”

Travis doesn’t even bother with words, because he knows the only thing left to do is kiss you. So he leans into you, and you lean into him, and it’s like everything in the world is right again. Riding into the sunset may have been a fairytale, but true loves kiss was definitely a reality. You were right too, you didn’t need a prince to save you, you needed to save yourself. It just turned out that saving yourself was letting the man of your dreams love you back.

#travis konecny #travis konecny imagine #travis konecny fic #nhl imagine #nhl fic #nhl fanfiction #hockey imagine #hockey fic #hockey fanfic #philadelphia flyers #flyers #hockey one shot #nhl one shot

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abbacchiosbelt · 4 years

Note

I’ve had a dumb scenario bouncing around in my head for a bit that I’d like to request of you- Fem!la Squadra member hasn’t gotten up yet for whatever reason, so one of the boys goes to her room to get her. Turns out she’s still asleep and stubbornly refuses to wake up. LaSquadra member rips the blankets off her, unaware that she sleeps in the nude (bc it’s more comfy that way) Reactions? Who’s shocked, who’s mortified, who’s horny etc.? (Plz and thank you 🙏)

18+ under the cut!

Risotto is not the type of man to bother his teammates lest it is about a mission or their performance. It just so happens that today you and Formaggio were set to leave for a mission - the clock was ticking closer to the time you were supposed to depart and you still hadn’t emerged from your room. Risotto considers sending someone else to do it but eventually decides it’s best if he does it himself.

He knocks once, twice, and finally enters when there’s no response. There’s a bit of unease creeping up his spine until he sees that’s you’re perfectly fine, sound asleep in bed — until he realizes you’re completely naked when you shift in your sleep, causing the blanket to fall off of your body. Risotto quickly leaves and slams the door shut loud enough so that he knows it’ll wake you and makes his way back to his own room, training his face into a blank mask as he walks past Prosciutto and Melone — he can only hope the lavender-haired man didn’t notice the lightest flush to Risotto’s cheeks and the growing bulge under his striped pants.

The sight of you sprawled out naked in the morning sun wasn’t something Risotto was going to forget easily.

Formaggio is not subtle at all when he comes barreling into your room, ready to tease you for sleeping in so late. Either he or Illuso were usually the last to emerge from their rooms or to walk in the door when meeting at other places with the team, so he couldn’t pass up the chance to be the one poking fun at you for once.

When he sees you’re naked, his eyes practically bug out of his head. For a brief second he feels embarrassed that he walked in on you, but he gets over it pretty quickly — well, it’s your fault for leaving the door unlocked and sleeping naked, right? He’ll loudly knock on your doorframe until he sees you startle awake, staring at you with a sleazy grin on his face.

‘Are you comfy like that, bambina?’

He’ll laugh and saunter away afterward, expecting you to throw a pillow at him or something. He won’t close the door, though. Expect to be teased for a long time afterward.

Illuso already knew you slept naked — he’d poked his head around your mirror one too many times on ‘accident’ and caught you with your chest or ass sticking out. He kept it to himself, though. He may be nosy and creepy, but he’s not a complete asshole. (Most of the time...)

He barely thinks about the fact when Risotto tells him to go wake you up, and when Illuso swings your door open he’s momentarily surprised by the sight of you completely nude on top of the sheets. He steps in and slams the door behind them, which effectively does its job of waking you up. Illuso will give you one of those smirks that always gets your blood boiling before he makes a comment on how you make a better sleeping beauty than him.

Illuso is one of the few to try his chances and see if you’d actually like him to stick around... If not, he’ll grin and retreat through your own mirror, snickering at the sight of your incredulous face. Everyone is hearing about this incident.

If you do let him stay... Everyone is going to know you woke up by the noises coming from your room.

Pesci thinks everyone sleeps in a set of nice matching pajamas like he and Prosciutto do. His aniki had forced him to get some ‘nice’ PJs after he saw that Pesci just slept in old, ratty shirts and oversized sweatpants, and sometimes even his work clothes. When Prosciutto commands him to go get you up, he’s reluctant but incapable of not following his aniki’s orders. Pesci has never liked waking people up — they always get angry or weird. He’d rather just let them sleep, consequences be damned.

He knocks on your door timidly a few times and eventually mishears a creak of the bed as you saying ‘Hello?’ Pesci opens the door and screams at the sight of your sleeping, nude body. Before he can even explain himself he slams the door and runs back to his room, hoping that you didn’t notice who was at the door.

He’ll deal with getting yelled at later. Pesci can’t look you in the eyes for a month, and everyone ribs him about it.

Prosciutto hates when people sleep in — he thinks it’s a sign of laziness and is more than annoyed when he’s asked to go wake you up. Why the hell were you still asleep anyways? It was near 8 A.M. Any respectable person would be up by 7 A.M. at the latest. He pounds on your door twice before opening the door up — and he’s quick to step in and shut the door before anyone else sees that you’re just... naked, on the bed.

Who sleeps naked? Wouldn’t you get your sheets dirty?? Prosciutto is so stuck in the details that he doesn’t register you are very much awake and staring at him, nude body illuminated by the sheets you were clutching to yourself now. It’s then that Prosciutto realizes who and what he’s looking at, and just how good you looked when he opened the door.

There’s no time for flirting, though — not when there’s a mission at hand and you’re holding everyone back. ‘Get up,’ he’ll bark. ‘We’ll be late because of you.’ He ignores your expression and leaves, but not before leaving you with one last thing to think about. ‘Tomorrow we’re going shopping, cara. You wouldn’t want anyone else to see you like this, hm?’

Melone can both be a night owl or an early bird, depending on his schedule. He has no issues with adjusting his sleep schedule on the fly and therefore doesn’t pay much attention to when/how long other people on the team are sleeping. If he needs you, he’ll come get you. When he’s asked by Risotto to come wake you up, he pouts and says that all women deserve their beauty sleep... Not that you weren’t beautiful already. Risotto just pinches the bridge of his nose and tells him you’re going to be late for a mission.

Melone thinks nothing of simply coming into your room, completely forgoing knocking. When he sees that you’re stark naked on the bed, he just grins and quietly shuts the door behind him. He’ll creep up beside your bed until he can awaken you with a soft shake — Melone will keep the memory of your face upon waking up and realizing just what he’d seen in his mind for a long time.

‘Don’t worry, darling. I’ve seen plenty of nude bodies. You’re lovely, but if you want me to think of you like just another body, I can. Oh, and yu’re due for a mission.’ Melone will grin and lean close to you. ‘But if you want to spend a few extra minutes in bed...’

Depending on your reaction, you’ll get a Melone who respectfully walks away or a Melone who gives you a very nice wake-up call.

Ghiaccio is pissed that he has to wake you up when he gets the order from Risotto. Are you seriously still asleep?? WHY?? WHY DOES HE HAVE TO BE THE ONE TO WAKE YOU UP?? Still, as much as he’ll grumble and complain, he won’t refuse an order from Risotto. He stomps off to your room and almost rips the door off the hinges — and then he realizes you’re naked and everything in your room goes ice cold.

It doesn’t help the situation, of course. Ghiaccio’s face grows redder and redder as he watches your chest and he slams the door behind him as he runs away, both annoyed at himself and you. He knows you’ll be awake now... But did you really have to be naked?? He wishes, too, that he could have been a little smoother. He’s been harboring a crush on you for months and he could have done something...

Ghiaccio is going to be extra icy towards you for the next couple of weeks, mostly because he’s stuck in his own head. The air is going to be colder whenever you’re around... In this scenario, you’ll have to approach him first.

Sorbet and Gelato keep to themselves 99% of the time, so to be asked to do something so trivial? They scoff and almost ignore it, but decide that they can make something fun out of it. That’ll teach a lesson to both the person who asked them to do something so stupid and to you for sleeping in so late.

They sneak in quietly — both of them snicker when they see that you’re naked. Even better! Sorbet slithers his way into bed with you without waking you (they are... good at being quiet) and Gelato perches next to your bed before he wakes you up with a loud yell, startling you right back into Sorbet’s arms.

The look on your face is priceless to them. Perhaps doing this was worthwhile, just to see you squirm. Although they’ll just as quickly leave to confuse you even more (don’t expect them to forget about it, though...), they’re willing to stay and entertain you for a while longer. If you miss the mission, so what? It’s your fault for staying in bed with them.

#jjba headcanons #my writing #not sfw #vento aureo #la squadra #risotto nero #formaggio #illuso #pesci #prosciutto #melone #ghiaccio #sorbet #gelato #Anonymous #poly sorlato implied #polyposting

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tenacityreturns · 4 years

Note

five times kissed with aokaga

i. new to their relationship, but eager, this kiss is exactly as you’d expect it to be. aomine is an annoying little shit, which is a surprise to no one. and kagami loves it.

ii. kagami’s dad calls him at 2am and leaves him feeling bad. if he’d been by himself, he would’ve let it worry him and probably wouldn’t have been able to get back to sleep. good thing he isn’t alone.

iii. aomine’s really good at ghosting him. he had done it before, but now they’re in a relationship, kagami tries his best to help make him feel better. he feels like an idiot but momoi’s there to help. this is the longest because depression, big mood

iv. the vorpal swords reunite, but things are not as kagami would like them to be. this is my fav one because i love kise so much and he’s HERE so that’s all i care about. also you can tell i care about him more than the others bc he has speaking lines.

v. they’ve graduated, and kagami has been in the states for six months. aomine comes to visit.

i) it’s not their first kiss, but it’s still new. instincts tell kagami to push aomine away when he comes close because it’s dangerous to let someone else hold your heart. and his hands are rough, his eyes are cold, and his temper is short, but kagami trusts him. in this moment, they’re both sitting on the edge of their emotional barriers, waiting for the signal that it was safe to fall. he believes that one of them will go first. their personal insecurities are too great to just rush into it wholeheartedly.

this kiss has a slower build-up than their first. they’re sitting on aomine’s bed, which is dangerous enough territory in itself because kagami is both completely inexperienced and eager to try. as if he could keep his hands off the hottest guy he knows! they inch closer. does aomine know the effect he has? does he feel the same? kagami understands that they both like each other, and want to make out right in this moment, but could he ever affect someone’s pulse like aomine does his? could kagami ever make him speechless? be the only thing he’d want to look at in a room? aomine’s eyes dance across kagami’s face. what’s he looking at? they make eye contact and it sparks a smirk.

“ah, you’re looking at me with the intensity of a game,” but before kagami can get embarrassed and tell him to fuck off, aomine ducks in close. in a whisper, he continues: “you should loosen up.”

“you should shut up,” kagami puts his hand on aomine’s chest and pushes him backwards. he climbs on top to straddle him, and it’s the look in widened blue eyes that’s telling him this was the right thing to do. in an instant, the wit returns and he’s smirking again.

“make me.”

maybe he would growl, say something like you’re a smartass who always wants to have the last laugh, you know that, right? but kagami is preoccupied. his tense jaw relaxes, and the anger evaporates. the judgement calls between calling out and making out with aomine daiki are often very close. maybe next time, kagami will pretend to be annoyed. ( hint: it won’t be the next time. )

♥

ii) kagami’s ringtone shatters the dark peace of his bedroom. his groggy, half-asleep arm drops heavily to his right, where, usually, it would connect with the bed-side table ( painfully ) and he’d find his phone. this time, he isn’t sleeping alone, and he accidentally hits his barely sleeping boyfriend.

“hey,” aomine complains as he pushes himself up, “what is it? your phone?”

kagami doesn’t give a linguistically clear response, but it’s enough of a grunt that aomine gets it. he holds his hand out, and aomine passes it over. it’s dad. it’s 2am. “shit,” kagami presses answer and holds it to his ear. when he speaks, it’s in english. “dad, it’s so early.”

“good! can we talk?”

“no, i mean it’s late. can you call me tomorrow?”

“i’m on a business trip tomorrow, but i won’t be long! it’s friday night, taiga, don’t young people normally stay up ‘til the early hours anyway?”

“how should i know?” kagami reaches over to squeeze aomine’s arm. it’s a sorry i woke you gesture, which gets a don’t worry about it shrug. as kagami’s father tells him not to be so snappy, he’s just checking in, his son is whispering away from the phone that he’ll be back in a minute. then he’s swinging his legs over the bed and going into the living room.

“anyway,” asao continues distractedly, and kagami can tell that he’s multi-tasking. “do you want to go to europe with me this winter?”

“huh?”

“my business trip! it’s in france, but i was thinking we could take a tour.”

kagami thought of the winter cup, of getting to have rematches against the generation of miracles. he thought of school ( last, of course ). “what? no, i can’t. i’ve got stuff going on here.”

“they’ll survive without you for a month! or two weeks, i don’t know, whatever school break is. and you know what they say about french girls?”

kagami groans. “i don’t care about french girls. i have a boyfriend, remember?”

silence.

“go by yourself. or why don’t you grab someone random off the street and tell them to ditch all their plans last minute like this?”

silence.

“sorry,” it’s instinctual, second-nature to apologise like this. he isn’t sorry, but he’ll say it anyway for some paternal approval. “people are counting on me and i can’t let them down. --- are you not coming here for christmas?”

“business trip. alright, taiga. i’ll let you get back to sleep.”

“bye, dad.”

dial tone. ah, fuck, he’d hurt his dad’s feelings. he texts thanks anyway, and waits for a reply. it’s a smiley face almost instantly, but that doesn’t put him at ease. it’s not passive aggressive, but at least they weren’t arguing again like last time. when kagami returns to his room, aomine is sitting up on the bed with his arm draped over his legs.

“everything... okay?” aomine asks quietly. kagami shrugs and plugs in his phone. tentatively as characteristically possible, he continues: “was your dad being a dick again?”

“he called me in the middle of the night,” kagami climbs across the bed to get back to his side. “what do you think?”

silence. the urge to apologise bubbles to the surface immediately, leftover from his phone call, but aomine moves and interrupts it. he lowers to one elbow, but it’s the other hand that provides distraction: tenderly brushing kagami’s persistent fringe from his forehead. he never knows what to say in the face of aomine being gentle like this. it’s not uncommon, just surprising, and kagami isn’t particularly good at returning the favour.

“he asked me to go to europe with him,” kagami says instead, shuffling in a little closer so that his head on aomine’s pillow. his boyfriend is silent again, which is fair, because what the fuck? kagami knows, he gets it. “i’m not going, obviously.”

“rich people are so fucked,” aomine watches his fingers glide across kagami’s hairline. “he knows you can’t just up and leave, and offers anyway. shit.”

“right? i have basketball and school.”

“sounds like it could have been nice, though.”

“he wants to hook me up with french girls.”

“never mind. you shouldn’t go.”

kagami smiles, closing his eyes. “maybe i’ll go.”

“man, shut up,” aomine pushes kagami’s head into the pillow.

“hey!” kagami shoves his hand against aomine’s face. they let go.

“tch,” as if the last few seconds never happened, aomine tucks himself in close. his head fits just right nestled beneath kagami’s chin. “why couldn’t he call you back in the morning, anyway?”

“he’s leaving then, or something.”

“hm. go back to sleep.”

kagami sighs. usually he can, but sometimes the call disturbs him too much and he’ll lie awake for hours. this is one of those times, he can already tell. ugh. his eyes are open again, blankly surveying the other side of the room. after a few minutes, he can feel aomine’s breathing start to level out and the arm around his body goes limp. red eyes close. please go back to sleep. who cares if his dad disregards all of kagami’s hobbies and relationships in one simple they’ll survive without you for a month? not him! kagami doesn’t care.

“are you still awake?” aomine makes him jump, which makes a very sleepy sounding aomine jump too. “oiiiii.”

“sorry! i thought you were asleep.”

“no, you’re too tense, it’s not relaxing.”

“daiki,”

“shhhh,” aomine lifts his head enough to kiss kagami’s jaw. ahhhh!!!! that’s really cute!!!! it gets WORSE. aomine rolls forward, pushing kagami onto his back and lying half on top of him. he holds a hot, red face in his hands and plants three kisses on chin, nose, then forehead. “do you feel a little better?”

“d--daiki, that’s so cute...”

“answer the question.”

“yes?”

“okay.” he makes kagami’s muscular chest his new pillow. “if you’d have said no, i might have done that again.”

“huh!!! don’t say that! do it anyway!”

“shhhh, i’m sleeping.”

kagami hugs him, but also gives aomine a good shake. a blue head raises with a stern look. “you think you’re getting kissed for that?”

but kagami’s smiling widely, unable to hold it in. “i wish you were here every time my dad called me.”

such a statement softens whatever faux grudge had been starting to root itself into the conversation. suffice to say, kagami gets his kisses. brief though they are, because aomine’s half-asleep as it is, it means the world. and it means kagami’s sufficiently distracted to fall asleep again.

♥

iii) aomine hadn’t gone to school that day. of course, kagami wasn’t to know that until after practise when kuroko gets a phone call from momoi asking if he was with them. no, he’s not. they’d been supposed to meet up, but aomine cancelled at lunch time without much explanation. he does that sometimes. at first, it used to annoy kagami, but aomine told him that sometimes he has days when he can’t bring himself to talk to anyone. he’s fine, he doesn’t want pity or anything, just space on days when it happens. i don’t like who i am when i get like that, he’d said. kagami had come to the conversation ill-prepared and hadn’t said anything in reply. he regrets that. so he assumes that this is what today had turned into, one of those days.

the thing is, momoi also knows when he’s not feeling well. kagami had asked her once if there was anything they could do to make him feel better, somehow, and she said that there wasn’t. she usually takes a box of nice things around to his house for when he comes home. those sexy magazines he likes, a couple of cartons of banana milk, some snacks. kagami thinks of this suddenly as kuroko is ending the call. the words form on his tongue at the same rate as forming in his mind.

“momoi,” he pulls kuroko’s phone to his ear, holding onto his friend’s wrist. “have you been ‘round to his house yet?”

“hi kagamin,” she coos, then sighs, “no, i haven’t.”

“let me do it,” his eyes cannot lift from the floor in his embarrassment ( there are so many of his teammates around, and kuroko’s right there! ). “i can be there in an hour. --------please.”

“o-okay! i think dai-chan would like that.”

“i hope so.”

“i’m in town anyway, why don’t you meet me? bring tetsu-kun and we’ll call it a double date!”

“how does that work if daiki’s not there? and ain’t the point of this to look out for him, anyway?”

“ah. yes, i suppose. is tetsu-kun still there?”

“yes, momoi-san.”

“ah, tetsu-kun! were you listening? i’m sorry if we left you out! may i steal kagamin for a little while?”

“i don’t need his permission!” kagami defends hotly, but evens out immediately, letting go of kuroko’s wrist. “i’ll go get changed and see you at that grocery store you mentioned.”

“grocery... store?”

“yeah, the one with the, uh,” kagami presses his finger and thumb together and rotates his wrist. like a... key? “the, uh-- popsicle stick? with kuroko, back in middle school?”

she all but screams a huh down the phone. “why do you remember that!”

“i don’t know!” because aomine and the others used their basketball ability to take down a bag snatcher, obviously! how fucking cool is that? aomine chasing after a guy on a moped and catching up? kagami’s blushing at the thought.

momoi sounds like she’s blushing too, and she tumbles into the steep slope of gushing over kuroko and her own, self-described shyness. kagami grimaces. kuroko stares at him. yes, alright, this one is absolutely kagami’s fault for starting. he’ll take responsibility for that one. kuroko finds a nice, polite way to hang up without making her feel bad. damn, if only kagami had an ounce of the tact this guy has!

but he’ll make do with what he has, and excuses himself from hanging out after practise to attend to something. everyone must have heard that phone-call, but he’s blocking those thoughts from his mind as he speed walks to that fateful store. walking isn’t fast enough. he types out five different texts to aomine that express that he hopes he’s alright, but all of them feel wrong. it’s almost a private joke with himself but as he’s sliding into a taxi to get him there faster, he finds the tiger emoji and the heart emoji. then clicks send by accident. oops. that was... kind of stupid. really stupid. fuck.

momoi is standing outside with her phone to her ear as he arrives in the car. he pays the fare and gets out. is she on the phone to him? but she doesn’t say goodbye before pushing her phone into her purse, nor does it look like she hung up, so the image is a mystery lost on him. they’re quick inside the store. momoi chooses everything first, starting with the magazine he likes ( ah, thank goodness, mai-chan features a lot in this issue. yes, i’m sure he’ll be fine. but isn’t this strange for you, kagamin? // no, i don’t care. he can like what he likes. // huh! dreamy... ), but then kagami will pick up two others beside it and put it in the basket. she’ll pick up a three-pack of banana milks, and he’ll pick up another. she finds his favourite sweet snack of the week and he grabs five. same with the savoury option. kagami insists on paying, since it had been his idea to quadruple the purchases. on their way over to aomine’s house, they pass a toy shop. kagami only half-glanced, but a little, cuddly crayfish catches his eye.

“do you think he’d like that?” kagami stops, and presses his index finger against the glass.

“you want to buy him a toy lobster?” she repeats like it’s insane. he sighs. he has no idea what a good boyfriend would--- “he used to keep crayfish as pets sometimes. you knew that?”

kagami nods. he doesn’t know how, but he does know that.

she squeaks. her twinkling eyes and fingers held delicately against her face are making this into way more of an embarrassing ordeal than he’d wanted it to be, so he’s grumbling as he leaves her outside to go and buy it. the little creature is red like a lobster, and speckled, with big plastic eyes and a smiley face. maybe it’s a lobster. what’s the difference? it goes into the little gift bag and momoi has recovered by the time he’s back. she’s all smiles herself, but at least she isn’t saying anything.

he’s glad she decides to walk him all the way there. kagami couldn’t remember the way. there’s no way of knowing if he’s in, she tells him as they walk up the path. his mother says he’s out, but he could have faked leaving and gone back to bed. he does that sometimes, apparently. it’s cold and wet today, kagami hopes aomine’s in bed. and it’s aomine’s mother who answers the door. she’s working from home today, about to enter a meeting, so she can’t stay and chat, but it’s lovely to see them both. momoi decides to leave kagami to go upstairs by himself. makes sense. she’ll wait in the living room. he takes a deep breath and carries the big bag of nice things up a dark set of stairs. into a dark hallway ( where is the light switch? ).

despite the darkness, he knows where aomine’s room is. and there’s a little window near it to bring in the light of a grey day. it’s like the sky sympathises. there cannot be sun when it is not warm inside aomine’s own chest. kagami knocks on the door but there’s no answer. he’s silent as he walks inside. the curtains are drawn, no lights are on. the bed looks empty. damn. he’s not in, after all. something buzzes on the desk and-- it’s his phone. why the hell wouldn’t he take that, what if something happened? kagami sighs. worry gnaws away at his heart. has something happened?

the decision is made after some deliberation that the best place for the bag is by the desk. the little lobster toy, however, should go on the bed. it’s such a stupid little gift, isn’t it? maybe he should say that momoi chose it. throw her under the bus now, and then when she denies it later, kagami will be long gone and far from the reaches of embarrassment. he snaps the tags off and shoves them into his pocket, carrying it in both hands like a scared offering to a shrine.

aomine must have kicked off the duvet in a sulk, because it’s bunched up on one side of the double bed in a long pile. he must be imagining things when he sits and it shifts. the toy looks out of place on the dark pillow-case of a brooding teenaged boy. maybe that’s not fair, but the longer it sits there, the more out of character it feels and he snatches it away. into his hoodie pocket it goes! the blanket shifts again. shit. is--- is someone under there? an apprehensive hand reaches out to where the shoulder would be, connects with something hard. a shoulder.

“go away, satsuki,” the duvet grumbles.

kagami doesn’t know what to say. why has he frozen! the hand stays put. is aomine really saying he thinks that kagami’s hands are the same size as the petite girl’s? why is that so offensive all of a sudden... he exhales. the best thing to say is nothing, or so he decides, and instead he pulls the top of the cover down. aomine is facing the other way. kagami runs his fingertips gently through blue hair and still receives no reaction. does momoi do this? he feels as though he should feel jealous, but can’t find it in himself to. aomine should be loved, touched gently and often by those who adore him. whether that’s platonically or otherwise, it’s good if she does stroke his hair gently, and if aomine doesn’t mind, then who is kagami to interrupt?

“i blew off tetsu and taiga today,” it sounds like a guilty confession. kagami feels like he shouldn’t have heard it, feels like he’s trespassing. “i’m such a fuck up, man.”

“no, you’re not,” of course kagami knew that once he spoke in his deep voice, and not momoi’s high pitched one, that aomine would roll onto his back and stare in shock. he does, and the heavy gaze makes kagami feel even more like he shouldn’t be here. but he wants to help, if he can. kagami pulls his hand back and reaches into his hoodie pocket for the hidden lobster toy. he produces it. aomine stares at that instead. then back at kagami.

“what are you doing here?”

“i got you a crayfish-- thing. ‘cuz you said you liked them, but not to eat.”

silence.

“it’s stupid, i know,” kagami’s smile is weak, guilty, and he sets it atop the pillow like before. why he thought this would help is lost on him. “i hope you’re not mad that i came over, uninvited and all. i won’t do it again if you don’t like it.”

silence. aomine cranes his neck to find the toy, and lifts his arm out of the cover to pick it up. he’s looking at it like he can’t believe it’s right there in his hand. he’s frowning. ah! but there are other things! kagami leaves the bed and grabs the bag from the desk. it’s the magazines he’s after. he pulls out all three of them at once.

“momoi helped choose, ‘cuz you know i’d be useless.” the magazines are spread where kagami had been sitting.

aomine still isn’t saying anything, which is fine, and he can’t expect him to if he’s feeling like shit! but he doesn’t know what to say to fill the silence, and he doesn’t know if he should just leave! maybe that would be best! however, in his panic, he’s disregarding the point of a gift bag and taking everything out instead. snacks of all sorts crinkle in their packaging. to get a better picture of kagami derailing, aomine has shifted up to sit with his back against the headboard. watching. he opens up one of the packets of banana milk cartons to give to him in an act of that panic.

“well, that’s it,” kagami says in defeat as he meets the end of the bag. “sorry for making a mess. i can go now, if you like. momoi’s just downstairs so i can get her if you wanna talk to her about anything.”

he shook his head. but... to which part?

“you-- you don’t need to worry about cancelling on us, you know. we can always meet another day.”

“or you could come to my house.”

“yeah, sorry. i wanted to help, but i hadn’t thought about what i was gonna say, i guess.”

“come here,” he gestures with his head, but kagami looks instead at the pile of dumb gifts on the mattress where he would have sat. so he starts putting things back in the bag. aomine huffs ( but it sounds almost like it could have been a chuckle had the circumstances been different ), and pushes everything, including the magazines, off the side of the bed.

“careful! what about mai-chan?”

“come here,” aomine demands, reaching over and tugging his sleeve closer. is this good? kagami has no idea. he just does what he’s told and climbs over to sit beside his boyfriend. “you didn’t have to do all of this.”

“yeah, i know that. i hoped it might help.”

“were you mad at me when i cancelled earlier?”

“no, i understood you weren’t doing great today. i-- i dunno, i just wanna say i don’t, like, expect anything from you when we meet up. we don’t have to do anything. if you wanna be alone, i get it, but i just-- i wanted to say you don’t have to be alone either. ‘cuz i wanna be there for you, if you’re okay with that too. i’m not trying to------”

kagami’s sincere, if lengthy, statement is interrupted by a kiss to his moving lips. it’s short, but shuts him up nonetheless. aomine stays close afterwards, leaning on the hand resting just behind kagami’s folded legs.

“do you wanna do nothing with me?”

a little dazed, kagami can only nod. aomine piles the two pillows together and sorts the blanket out. he pushes kagami’s chest to lie down against the pillows, and aomine slides himself under his arm, head on chest. they lie like this quite comfortably. it’s warm-- no, it’s cosy. this feels just right. after a few minutes of steady breathing, with kagami smoothing blue hair ever so gently, aomine is asleep. kagami texts momoi a quick update, and she tells him that she’ll let herself out.

maybe doing nothing isn’t half bad.

♥

iv) they’re at a vorpal swords reunion. it’s more of a meet-up than practise, because the hall they were going to use to practise had flooded and they weren’t able to go inside, and it’s too cold outside to play. so they’re standing with hot drinks in the park. ( kagami isn’t, he’d finished his and aomine’s ages ago. aomine will just have to turn up first. ) akashi managed to get a reservation at this nice, not too pricey restaurant, so they’re waiting a few minutes for noon when they can head over. it takes a little more planning than usual to seat, what? a dozen or so people?

kagami’s talking with kise and kuroko, waiting for his cocoa. to be clear, he’s standing with them, and kise is going off about something. then kuroko says something to shut him down and it makes kagami laugh. he’s so abrupt! and people say kagami’s blunt! kise pulls a tragic face, asks why kagami’s laughing, and kagami calls him lame. it’s fun everyone hanging out together!

“taiga,” it’s a half-assed shout from a little way off, but he knows who it is without looking.

kise’s saying something to him, but kagami’s attention is immediately drawn to the boy in the big puffer jacket, followed inevitably by his pink-haired friend. kagami glares at him. “you’re so late! what’s up with that?”

“i was sleepy,” still shouting.

“don’t say sleepy like you’re cute!” kagami is, unsurprisingly, still shouting.

aomine stops walking and breathes a deep sigh into the air, dissipating in a cloud. “come here then.”

the redhead turns, balling his hands into fists. his cheeks are heating up already, because he accidentally yelled that aomine sounded kind of cute just now... and in his stupid fucking beanie, he looks it too. they have a silent stand off, but aomine wins. kagami can’t resist going over to see what the hell he wants. can’t resist being near.

“come here.”

so he does, and he stalks over like it’s a great effort, or he’s about to end a fight. he’s not, of course, and the balled fists show discomfort and not aggression. he’s still embarrassed. it’s about to get worse. as soon as he’s near, aomine reaches forward with gloved hands and grabs onto the fluffy hood of kagami’s red parka.

“what the hell do you mean looking so cute today?” he said like it’s an insult, kagami yelps and grabs his wrists. “you dress up just for me?”

“it’s cold, how else am i gonna dress!”

“what are you wearing under it?”

“like, three layers,” he grunts, “get off my hood, asshole!”

“aw, your face looks cold, though,” aomine is completely ignoring kagami, except that he decided, probably separately, to put his hands on kagami’s face. that’s actually super nice, and if there weren’t, what, a dozen or so people around that he wanted to look cool for, he’d have just stood still.

“daiki!” he is shouting, once again. their best and only method of communication is to make as much noise as possible. kagami gnashes his teeth, threatening to bite. maybe he just will and teach aomine to: “quit being a pain!”

“quit making it fun, then.”

and quit looking like that so close! kagami isn’t about to kiss him, but he really would if they were in private. it’s the twinkling playfulness in those blue eyes that show kagami that he’s really the only thing on aomine’s mind right now. ugh, shut up, stupid idiot! aomine knows what he’s doing, too. you can tell by the shit-eating smile on his stupid, beautiful face. red eyes, as they often do, roll. he wraps his arms around his boyfriend’s waist and squeezes. it’s not a hug, it’s an attack.

aomine’s turn to yelp. his hands move so that he’s hugging around kagami’s head, which is obviously enough to get him to loosen his grip.

“careful, my hat!” kagami exclaims, as if that’s more important than the structural integrity of his skull. they’re still hugging, and nothing else exists, and god is aomine warm. so warm. “hi, anyway. how come you’re late?”

“satsuki slept in,” aomine nestles his cold nose into kagami’s bare neck. it’s fine if he does this, he doesn’t mind sharing body heat either. and who’s to see if aomine kissed him in that moment? nobody. but everyone will see the wide grin on kagami’s face, worlds away from the irritation he’d displayed seconds ago.

“sure,”

their embrace ended, but aomine still kept an arm slung around kagami’s shoulders. he glances around for aforementioned girl, but she’s already fawning over kuroko. aomine sends his own form of greeting to his other friends and all but drags kagami over to see kuroko and kise. nods over to akashi who stands with midorima, probably talking about how much space there is in the universe, or some other brainy thing nerds discuss.

“i wanna play ball,” kagami groans now they’re standing together. “it’s not that cold, right?”

“kagamicchi, it’s icy! i’m not risking my neck for a one-on-one.”

“i’m getting food then i’m going home.” (kagami’s home, mind you.)

“yes, it is, kagami-kun.”

somehow, being turned down by all three of them at once was less fun than he could possibly have dreaded. kagami deadpans and takes to sulking.

“you’re all just chicken i’d beat you.”

“big words for the guy who lost our last game.”

“winter’s a hard season for you, isn’t it?” kuroko! traitor!

kise puts his hand on his hip, looking at kagami like there’s something WRONG with wanting to play his favourite sport! “he’s really a guy with a one track mind, huh?”

“shut the hell up! don’t gang up against me! we all met to play ball, didn’t we? i got excited about it, alright! winter sucks for everyone, that’s normal!”

poor kagami. if the others have any sympathy for his plight, they’re pretty good at hiding it.

♥

v) six months, is it? kagami spends perhaps too long trying to figure it out. he came over to the states after graduation in march, and it’s september now... but then, daiki came over to visit in may, only staying for a fortnight because that’s all his job would allow. so really it’s only been four months. but those have been hard. lots of facetime, and phone calls at awkward times. but kagami always thinks to check what time it was in tokyo before he called, and it seemed that aomine has been similarly considerate. all the same, kagami has missed his boyfriend more than anything. it’s only after high school is behind him that he’s really appreciating that his youth ( as he thought of it ) is now over. he’s in the nba now. well, it’s kind of complicated, but he’s on his way!

basketball is at the back of his mind now, though. aomine’s plane was due to land at 2am, but was delayed by half an hour on both ends. then there was an issue with the bags which aomine called and raged about. they’re so close. in the same building, even! but despite this, and kagami’s irrepressible nerves bouncing his legs and tearing at his heart, the fatigue gets to him and he falls asleep on an uncomfortable chair opposite the waiting area for arrivals. an unopened can of iced coffee sits loosely in his hands. to make an excuse, kagami hadn’t slept a wink the night before in all of his excitement. he’s fully and completely asleep.

he won’t hear his phone as it rings several times through. he won’t hear the suitcase roll and come to a stop beside his leg. he doesn’t feel the can get plucked from his fingers. the vague sensation of someone touching his hair doesn’t even bother him, but in the depths of his dreamless sleep, he hears a voice:

“taaaiiigaaa,”

and it’s enough. crimson lashes flutter open sleepily, slowly. eyes focus on the dark face before him with the delay that only the deepest slumbers could provide. his head spins. is he still asleep? before he can question it any longer, he jerks forwards and wraps his arms around aomine in the tightest hug. kagami buries his face into his boyfriend’s warm neck, feeling the embrace returned.

it’s a desperate cling. the kind of hug that says more than words could. i missed you so much, i love you so much, please do not let go - i’ve been thinking about this since you got on the plane to fly back to japan. just in case this is a dream and he’s about to wake up. kagami inhales deeply. aomine. right here. in his arms.

“don’t do that,” he says, “i smell bad.”

“no, you don’t,” it’s mumbled, inaudible.

“what was that?”

“i said,” kagami pulls his head back so that he can see his boyfriend’s beautiful, gorgeous, perfect face. it mirrors his own. both hold the teary, tender expressions of lovers parted for too long. his words are long lost. he couldn’t remember what he’d said, what aomine had asked, what day it is. all he has to ground him in reality is a pair of blue eyes staring deep into his, and the arms wrapped tightly around his body.

they move in unison. the kiss is soft, and sweet, and everything he could have hoped it would be. one of kagami’s hands leaves its place on aomine’s back to hold his face. is--- is that stubble he can feel under gentle fingertips? in six months? man! that’s so cool. and hot. god! his boyfriend is so beautiful! the kiss ends as kagami breaks into a wide grin. aomine chuckles. they press their foreheads together.

“tell me what you were thinkin’ about just now,”

“you, daiki,” he holds aomine’s face in both hands, now, smiling so much that it hurts, “i’ve been thinking about you ever since you left.”

#aonon.#aokaga #drabbles.#aokaga.#answered.#some of these i did at 1am and you can tell but i just wrote 3 and now i cant wait for u to read them!!!!!!!!!!#i worked SO HARD ON THESE #for the few months i've been back i've been writing them #i hope u like them................#writing kagami being soft when aomine's in a bad place is my special fav thing.......................#number 3 is my favourite PLEASE humour me and say which scenario u like best #also number 2 #i dont care about number 1 i just wanted to write that aspect of their relationship too JSHDJSHDJSHD #kagami about aomine when aomine does something cool: thats my BOYFRIEND :)#kagami about aomine when aomine is being a giant pain to literally everyone on purpose: thats my BOYFRIEND :)

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scandeniall · 4 years

Text

Let’s Make a Song

Pairing: rnbsinger!atsumu x rnbsinger!reader

Summary/warnings: ur long term on again off again bf Atsumu wants to do your first song together. Thing is you’re currently off/honestly just cursing. 1 tiny implied nsfw sentence. Literally 1

the 2nd piece in rnb!haikyuu bc why tf not. Other

a/n: The song that’s written is change by Arin Ray & Kehlani (that’s also the cover art mentioned later)

Wc: 2.8K

When your manager relayed the invitation to collaborate with Atsumu you were rather surprised. He didn’t do many new collaborations, reserving those for people he’d worked with in the past. Then there was the fact that he hadn’t asked you personally. The two of you were more than acquainted and he definitely had your phone number. But then again it’d been months since you’d last had any contact.

The two of you had been on and off again for the larger part of your careers, meeting in high school and building a friendship for years. A year after graduation you’d decided to make the switch from friendship to relationship. And it worked. The two of you both wanted to pursue music and understood one another. You were one another’s number one fan, muse, and confidant as you grew in popularity.

He’d gotten signed before you but neither of you thought it would change things. Then he started being around less and less getting busy recording his first studio album while you continued to work independently. He’d still come back to you at the end of the night. However that was short lived thus bringing about the first of many splits over the years. It was mutual—things were too busy to give the love someone deserved.

During that first split you’d ended up getting signed yourself. In only a few months you were immediately thrusted into the same professional world as Atsumu and that brought the two of you back together. He’d seen the announcement post on social media and paraded over to yours that night rambling about the betrayal of you not telling him you were in talks with a label. He’d bought over dinner and the two of you got back to talking consistently and rekindled in mere weeks.

That had been at 19. Now at 23 the two of you were still a roller coaster. You’d broken up for a number of reasons over the years. Busy schedules, his ego, your attitude, internet rumors mixed with poor communication, poor timing, you name it. Yet the two of you always found your way back like magnets.

You weren’t quite sure what you expected when you agreed to doing a song with Atsumu, who you were currently off with. In all your years, the two of you had never done a song together. Sure you’d fucked around with writing a few times but neither of you ever used any of those songs. You two had different styles, him focusing more on heavy bass, and reminiscent on the SoundCloud style. Meanwhile you were more soulful and melodic.

You hadn’t even so much as texted atsumu in like three months So of course it was a surprise when you made your way to his for a writing session to see the lyrics he’d already come up with. Lyrics that just by the way he read them to you, were clearly about you.

you’ve got me all in my feelings And I know you get tired of running You stole my heart and I mean it When we break up, can’t wait to make up

“That’s all I got so far,” he sighed leaning back on the couch next to you. “What do ya think”

“It’s different from your usual shit. It’s softer.” You ignore the scoff he sends you and sit back on the couch before he starts complaining. “But I like it. What was the inspiration.” You’re not even sure why you asked. Maybe it was the desire to have confirmation that you really have been the one all these years. There was still a chance it could’ve been someone else

“And you say yer the smart one between us,” is all he says before grabbing his laptop off the coffee table. “I got this beat too. Suna sent it over this morning and I think I wanna use it.” You choose to ignore his confirmation as you begin to get comfortable against the couch. He plays the instrumental and it only further surprises you from just how different it was from his usual. It was undoubtedly more your style and you're almost offended that your friend hadn’t sent you the beat instead. “Ya like it?”

“Could you play it back.” You begin to hum along a few nonsensical words to yourself and you’re aware of Atsumu’s eyes on you. He watches as you hit the voice record on your phone, already aware that you do that in case you say something that you like. You try to think back to what he started with and He moves his notebook closer to you so you can get a better view of the words messily scribbled.

You can’t keep coming and going In and out of my life please make up your fucking mind I give you time and you kill it

Immediately after that he pauses much to your annoyance and ignores your complaint. “I like that.”

“Yeah?”

“Sounds like yer replying back. Like a conversation,” he nods. “Is that really how ya feel about me?” You don’t miss the way he tries to subtly put his arm around the back of the couch and subsequently you. And your laugh.

“God you’re annoying Atsumu.” You end up caving, moving the laptop back to the table in front of you and moving under his waiting arm. You can’t even deny the way you like it either, comforted by the way his hand rubs up and down your arm. “Is that how you feel about us,” you challenge referring to the lyrics he’d come up with

“Course. I look forward to making up ya know.” He chuckles and the look of faux disgust you send him before continuing. “But I mean it. Ya got my heart and have for years.” The words are paired with a kiss to your temple.

You two sit in silence for a few moments before you break it with a sigh. “I’m tired of this shit Tsumu. It’s been years of us and this and the older I get, the more draining it is. I wonder all the time if I should stay or just leave for good.” It’s the first time you’ve ever admitted it to anyone other than yourself, and it’s to the person that has the power to break your heart at any given moment. The only small comfort is that you know it’s mutual and that you hold his as well.

“If you’re tired then write it out (Y/N). It’s part of the reason I asked ya to do a song.” He nudges you to sit up and catches your eye. “I think about ya way too fucking much and I’ve thought about if shit between us was worth it too.” He looks like he’s in through for a moment before quickly grabbing his notebook scribbling for a minute before showing you.

thinking of you is all I do honestly I might go insane cause when we break up can’t wait to make up Some things will never change

He’s playing the instrumental before you can say anything waiting until a certain part and signaling for you to just wait. Then his voice softly fills your ears as he goes into the words and points at you to follow up with what you’d sung before. As you near the end you gesture for him not to stop it yet

It’s very personal to me That you give it everything Should I stay? Should I go? Should I leave? I don't know.

After that your mind blanks and you reach over to pause the track. It felt good. Really good. “I think I have my verse,” you exclaim. “And what if we repeat your part. Maybe starting from thinking of you” you half mumble the words already writing away at your own notebook. You don’t even notice the look Atsumus giving you until you look back up minutes later after humming along and trying to string the words together. “What”

“It’s nothin. Just love watching ya write that’s all.” You end up shooting him a soft smile before focusing back on the words in front of you. “Actually, this beat is more you than me so did ya wanna do the bridge”

That causes you to look up in confusion. “Are you sure? It’s your song. It’d be weird for me to have a bigger part?” Atsumu is brushing off the question of you asking him to be serious. You didn’t want to step on any toes or offend anyone.

“If it’s that big a deal to ya we can go back n forth or somthin’.” His eyes question yours for a moment before smiling in victory at your agreeing. “Besides, Suna was gonna send it to ya anyways. Paid him to let me have it instead. Didn’t take much just-Ow!” HES quickly cut off by your fist coming into contact with his shoulder. “Why’d ya-“

“You’re an ass, did you know that,” you roll your eyes in response. No wonder the beat was so different from his usual. Because the track wasn’t meant for him. You’d have to bitch at Suna later for giving the track to Atsumu of all people. And for who knows what kind of lowball offer it was. “Wanna tell me why you did that. Or I can leave. Your choice” you’re closing your notebook at this point shifting away from him a bit.

“I missed ya.” It’s the only thing he says before your scoffing and getting off the couch and starting to gather your things. “I’m serious (Y/N).” The feeling of his hand grabbing at yours causes you to stop. “I kept thinking about us and couldn’t Bring myself to text. I got Suna to give me the track cause I wanted to see ya and talk.”

“Why couldn’t you just text?”

“I can say it better in a song. And I know you can too. Now c’mon don’t go alright?” You allow him to tug you back down onto the couch with a sigh. He wasn’t necessarily wrong. You’d wanted to settle things between you both once and for all for a while now. He just provided the opportunity. You both needed to know if you were just wasting time.

“Listen. If ya wanna talk about it outside of the song let’s go for a drive then.”

“First you steal my beat to get me to come over, now you wanna trap me in a car with you?” Atsumu only looks at you unbothered before you sigh. “Let’s go before I change my mind.”

“If it’s that bad, you know how to tuck and roll. I might slow down enough.” —-

“Atsumu what are we doing,”

He doesn’t even spare you a glance before responding. “Driving.” When you don’t reply he lets out a sigh before giving a real answer. “Do you still love me?”

“Yes,” it’s like you answer before your brain even ponders the question. “Do you still love me?”

“Wouldn’t be here right now if I didn’t.” His words are just as confident. He shoots you a quick glance before continuing. “I wanna get back together. For good this time. Heard about yer date with that Semi guy.”

Your breath hitches for a moment. While you’re not surprised that he knew about the date last month, you didn’t think he’d mention it. You’d woken up the morning after notifications crazy. Pictures of the two of you filled them and many of the tweets had actually tagged Atsumu as well.

“We weren’t together so ya don’t have to go explaining anything,” he stops you from your attempt at an apology. “Of course i'm not sure what ya saw in that guy. But it made me realize that yer the one I want. Always been the one.” He shrugs before the hand closest to you comes to rest on your thigh. “And I’ve always been the one for you too right?”

“Are you serious about wanting to make us work this time?” His hand leaves your leg for the wheel again and you watch in confusion as he makes a few sudden turns. He mutters something about giving him a few minutes before pulling into a random parking lot. He shuts the car off before unbuckling so he can turn his entire body to face you. “What are you doing Atsumu?”

“Move in with me.” You’re looking at him like he’s grown another head before he continues. “My lease with Samu is almost up and he’s been wanting to move closer to his shop and I wanna be closer to a studio. I’m serious about us and I just think-“

“Would you actually help with boxes or just sit on your ass and watch?”

The questions cause him to frown a bit in thought and you can’t help but laugh as he actually interprets the words and what they really mean. You could tell the exact moment he gets it and a lazy smirk settles on his face instead. “No promises babe. I kinda like watching ya walk away.”

The way his face eased closer to yours had you following his lead until your lips met. You can feel yourself smiling as one of his hands comes to cup your jaw. The kiss is sweet, lips moving slowly against yours in a reunion of sorts. “Stay over tonight we can work on the song again tomorrow.” He pulls away just enough to insist, resting his forehead against yours.

“Already told Samu so he’s bringing enough dinner home. And I got a new toothbrush in the bathroom.”You lean to peck his lips before sitting back in the seat. “You knew this would happen didn’t you.” Despite the accusation you find yourself agreeing with no hesitation.

“I hoped. It’s a difference babe. If not, more food for me” his hand quickly grabs yours to place a kiss on your own before settling back on the wheel. “Let’s get back I’m starvin”

—— “Are yer eyes closed? Are you sure? Don’t peek-“

“Hurry up Atsumu,” you groan as you allow him to lead you to god knows where. The song you’d guys finished a few weeks ago was set to release in a few hours and Atsumu refused to let you see the song cover. It was a surprise, or so he told you every time you tried to ask. Even in his new song tease on twitter he just posted blank images. New song with a surprise guest coming soon ;)

He’d had you meet him at his label and jumped on you the second you stepped into the building blindfold in hand and stupid grin on his face. “Don’t act like this is a new thing for ya,” he’d whisper in your ear as he tied the blindfold and laughed when you attempted to hit at him and miss.

“Stop complaining before I make you wait until the songs officially out. We’re almost there” you feel his hand leave yours before it’s placed on your back. You can hear a door open before he instructs you in. “Small step up.” With your restricted sight your hearing has seemed to increase tenfold. You can hear the sound of blinds opening and him moving around. “One second babe.”

After a few more moments and complaints for him to hurry up a pair of arms wrap around your waist. Leaning into the warmth you feel his lips kiss up your neck before stopping. “You can look now.”

It takes a moment for your eyes to spot it. First your eyes dart around the room to see nothing out of the ordinary save for a table with a champagne bottle. Then one of his arms points toward the window and you freeze in shock. “Atsumu is this?” You turn to look at him expectedly as he nods and pushes you near it. From the window of the building you see the cover art plastered on a billboard.

“Where did you find that?”

Atsumu’s voice grows closer as he stops next to you. “Our mom came down a while ago. Had some shit to deliver and brought some scrapbooks. It was in there.” You nod in understanding before he continues. “Ya like it?”

The picture was one from years ago. He’d just gotten signed and that weekend you and a few friends went on a road trip to celebrate. That particular picture had been taken on a Polaroid as you two were outside supposedly star gazing. On the mountain of blankets it was clear that his attention was more on you than the sky. It was one of your favorite pictures for a while then eventually you had broken up (for the first time) and it was long forgotten.

“Love it. Brings back memories you know?” You don’t even notice he’d gone to pour you a glass before he's dangling off in front of your face.

“Here’s to our first song together babe”

bonus things

yall actually filmed a music vid (this isnt included bc i am only now finding out theres a mv despite having this song in my music for a year)

he tweets the song link with “decided to stay”

atsumu ends up buying suna a ps5 game he wanted as a thank you (not w/o complaining though)

ppl on the internet arent even surprised that yall are back together (theyre tired too tf)

atsumu ends up putting that polaroid in his clear phone case <3

this is yall 6th time getting back together (yall keep trying HUH lmfao. but yall never actually ended on bad terms and always stayed friend)

you end tweeting a joke “ok last time yall i promise LMFAO”

#haikyuu x reader #hq x reader #atsumu x reader #atsumu imagines #hq imagines #haikyuu imagine #haikyuu imagines #rnb!hq #im starting a tag for it i guess LMFAO #its almost 3 am time for my usual post and dip mwah see yall next year #atsumu imagine

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newhologram · 3 years

Text

I've been doing some thinking and realizing just how far back this all goes. Those of you who know me and my family IRL may have a hard time believing the emotional abuse and gaslighting because whenever you've met them, they seemed fine. They may have even bragged about me to you which made you think that they thought very highly of me. They also may have neglected to inform you that I have been disabled by chronic illness the past 10 years (many of my other family members had no idea until they spoke to me personally. It's... really fucking weird? To just not tell anyone that your offspring is in bed all day in horrible pain and constantly at the doctor/ER?). Unfortunately this is also part of the gaslighting, putting on a persona of parental perfection so that no one believes me when I try to talk about it. Instead people, even within my family, make excuses for the abuse and say that I should just be grateful. Behind closed doors it's always been very different. In the event that me processing this in private spaces gets out to them (which WILL endanger me): This isn't about *~exposing~* or *~revenge~* or *~punishment~*, it's about putting the pieces together and saying, yeah, I'm right to finally put my foot down about the way I have been treated. This is my experience. This is my trauma. I'm finally claiming that after a lifetime of being told that these experiences and my pain around them are apparently "not real" (gaslighting). By talking about this, I am not victimizing myself, but empowering myself. Because none of this treatment was ever my fault. None of it was ever deserved. And none of this is to be blamed on my "response" to abuse. I hope that by talking about this I can paint a picture of the dynamic and inspire investigation into the health of your own family dynamics too. "But they're family" is literally what enables this kind of abuse to continue. And I'm done. My health and survival is more important than upholding a toxic family system. They're learning that the hard way, finally. I don't think my family members are bad people. I truly do love and care for them. They have some amazing qualities. They love animals and they've come a long way to now being LGBTQ+ allies even if they don't always use the right words. But they have a lot of flaws that most likely come from their own trauma... But these aren't just self-contained flaws. Because I am the one who will be undoing the damage for the rest of my life. I don't know if they will ever go to therapy themselves, but I certainly won't be waiting around for them to work on themselves if it means I'm going to continue to be mistreated and re-traumatized. - It's always been this way but things definitely got worse in my home when I became disabled (possibly bc it triggered insecurities in them?). Both parents ignored me to my face all my life. I'd say or ask something, and there'd be no response most of the time. If I said, "hey, I'm talking to you, that's rude" they would blow up at me about "WHAT. WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO SAY. I HAVE THINGS ON MY MIND OKAY I HAVE MY OWN LIFE". This happened even when I was a literal child. I grew up believing that nothing I had to say was worth hearing and that if they ignored me that it was because I was unimportant and annoying. But if I ignore them or take too long to respond because I'm thinking, they scold me me about being rude, that they are my parents and I need to respect them. My emotions and pain have been invalidated since I was a child too. I would get picked up from afterschool care, or my bully's house, and of course I'd be crying from enduring a day of bullying. I would say, "I didn't do anything to them, it's not fair." And my dad's response was always, "WELL GUESS WHAT LIFE'S NOT FAIR. WAIT UNTIL YOU'RE AN ADULT IN THE REAL WORLD." He has continued to say this to me on a regular basis whenever I am struggling, either with work, friends, relationships, a death, or my chronic illnesses. I wonder why he has never considered my world to be real? Why is my reality not real to him? What

makes that even more painful is that I was still sent day after day to the school where I was bullied, to afterschool care with my bullies, and to my bullies' homes. No matter how much I was always crying when they picked me up, they just kept sending me back. And then a few of my dad's girlfriend's had children who bullied me too. I literally could never escape it. If it wasn't that, his response to me crying about something would be, "YOU HAVE NOTHING TO CRY ABOUT. YOU'RE LIVING THE LIFE OF LUXURY HERE, YOU DON'T PAY RENT! JUST WAIT UNTIL YOU'RE OUT THERE HAVING REAL PROBLEMS!" Again, he said this to me when I was a 24 year old who was suddenly in the span of a year so disabled that I could barely work. I was scared for my future, because I had taken the time to educate myself about my illnesses, and I knew that things were going to be hard for me. What I needed was support, not "tough love" and emotional invalidation. I was also scared of the situation I am in now. I was scared that I was going to be too sick to afford to move out and that by age 30 I would still be stuck at home with a parent who did not see my reality, my pain, as real. I am living that and it's not fun. Whenever I tried to talk to him about this invalidation, it just turned into a fight, because he refuses to admit the things that he said, and says things like "That's a You Problem" which he has said since I was a child in response to him hurting my feelings. I have always thought it was worth the effort to communicate to my loved ones this sort of issue, because that's what I was taught at school. If there's an issue, you talk about it. But my family doesn't believe that I guess. - When I first got sick, I was throwing up a lot. It had built up over several years since I was 19 but then after I was officially diagnosed with my Big 4 (colitis/fibro/ME/narcolepsy) I started having really dangerous vomiting attacks. The first attack I had lasted 6 days. I lost 12lbs. I overheard my dad complaining on the phone to a friend that I was keeping him up all night throwing up. I felt so bad for bothering him, I had learned to value his comfort over mine. But after the third day of nonstop vomiting, I told my dad I needed to go to the ER, that something was wrong. He sighed and rolled his eyes and said I didn't need to go. He was so annoyed with me for being sick. I was completely pale. I hadn't eaten anything. I could barely keep water down. I argued but he wouldn't listen. I went back to throwing up, at this point just dry-heaving. A while later I said, "I'm taking myself to the ER." I grabbed my car keys and my dad stopped me. He said, "That's ridiculous, you aren't driving yourself to the ER, I'll do it." But he still wouldn't take me for some reason. I don't know if he just didn't want to pay the copay or what. But I was literally trapped. I tried to fight it and said, "If you're going to take me, then take me. If not, let me take myself." I kept throwing up for three more days before he finally agreed to take me. The ER was packed so I ended up going to urgent care, where the nurse scolded me. She said I really should've gone to the ER after the third day of vomiting. She said that if I had gone a 7th day I could have collapsed. I didn't know how to tell her that I had tried. She asked where my family was and I said my dad had to go to work so he had just dropped me off. She had tears in her eyes and she held my hand. She said, "he should be here with you." THAT is how sick I was. That year, I went to the ER three more times. Each time I would be sobbing and ashamed of myself just for bothering my dad and for him having to pay the copay since I was too sick to earn the money myself. Again, that's how little I had learned to value myself and my health. By my birthday that year, I was suicidal from this shame. A few months later, in the new year, I started having vomiting attacks again. My dad stood over me while I was hunched over the toilet gagging and he said something I will never be able to forget, "You need to snap out of it

because I can't go through this again." He was the victim of my illness. He was the victim of my pain. This year was when my dad told me that he and his gf had been "talking" and that they had decided it was "time for me to be independent". He said they'd even help me find an apartment. I cried and said, "Dad, I'm sick. I've been so sick the past year. How am I supposed to afford even splitting rent with a roommate when I'm in bed in a neckbrace all day long?" and his response was, "But your dad needs his bachelor pad." I couldn't even identify what I was feeling. I was so shocked. Did he really think having the apartment to himself so he could have girls over was more important? But he was always telling me that I was the most important person in his life. I was so confused.

He gave me a time frame to move out and I was terrified. I thought my life was over. But most of all, I thought, "it's not fair to my dad that I'm sick." I thought so little of myself and my pain because that is what I learned as a kid. I blamed myself for not being "strong enough" to power through these debilitating illnesses. I blamed myself for my dad's money troubles. I literally could not live with myself knowing that my dad had to support me. I was so ashamed that I learned to vomit quietly so that he wouldn't notice. I was in a constant state of suicidality for several years after this. And it's no wonder, because year after year my dad has barged into my room to harass me about "it's time to be a Real Adult! It's time for you to Contribute to the household! You need to Make Money! I'm HEMORRHAGING money supporting you! I'm having to use my savings!" and because I was too sick to do this, I felt like a complete failure who did not deserve to live. I was self-harming constantly because I hated myself for "doing this" to my father. He had convinced me that I was the villain. I would start freaking out about money, forcing myself to work even if it meant vomiting literally on set (and almost being sent home bc of it, but I insisted I was fine to work). But I still couldn't make enough to afford my medical expenses. So I would shame-spiral and be suicidal again and then suddenly the story would change. My dad did a complete 180 and said, "Why are you even worried about money? We're doing fine. Even if I didn't have to support you, it wouldn't make that big of a difference in the money that I spend on this household. Don't worry about it." And then as soon as bills were due, he was back to telling me that I needed to make money. Back to saying we spent too much money on food despite me not eating that much. Back to refusing to try shopping somewhere cheaper when I suggested ways to save money. When I brought this up to my therapist back then, she said, "He's giving you mixed messages. Maybe you should bring this up to him so he realizes he's doing it." But when I did bring it up, of course my dad denied doing this and called me ungrateful even as I worked two jobs. When I eventually got a third job (fucking up my health more) to pay off my medical debt, my dad patted my back and told me how proud he was. When I told my therapist that he denied it, she suggested I bring him in so she could help us communicate. When I asked him to come with me to therapy, he got angry and said, "I am NOT going to therapy with you, that is ridiculous." But even with those 3 jobs it still wasn't enough and I was constantly being pulled between "YOU HAVE TO MAKE MONEY RIGHT NOW END OF THE WORLD" and "uhh why are you even worried about money, you need to work your mindset..." When bugged about money I would ask, "What else do you want me to do? I'm working 3 jobs. I'm not hiding money from you. I'm sending you everything that is leftover after I pay my own bills. I've even been buying a lot of my own food, I've been living off ramen and cans of ravioli." And he never had an answer except "just make more money." -- Now to the dynamic I'm currently living in. My dad moved his gf and her dog in without talking to me about it to see if it was going to impact my health. She was only supposed to stay here for maybe 4-5 days while she figured out a new home situation. But when I asked my dad about it in the days leading up to her arrival, suddenly the answer was "oh, she's staying indefinitely." I had no say in it. But we had a talk about what I needed to make this work. I said to my dad that the most important thing was that I have some scheduled quiet time. If I'm recording content or editing audio, I'm going to need quiet that morning so I can get my work done. If I'm resting, I need there to not be shouting or slamming doors happening in the house. He assured me that this was fine and that it'd all be easy for the three of us. The first weekend she was moved in, I let my dad know that I was editing audio that morning and needed

some quiet. He was cheerful and said, "No problem!" I thought wow, this is different. This is nice! This is going to be great for my productivity and health. As soon as I started editing, his gf was blasting music in the kitchen (right next to my room) and they were both laughing and talking loudly just a few steps away from my door. I thought, okay, we talked about this. But I'll just power through. When I was done, I went to my dad and said in a calm manner, "Hey, so this morning I let you know ahead of time that I was editing audio but there was still a ton of music and stuff in the kitchen, so it made it take a lot longer for me." His eyes immediately went dark. He put on an angry parent voice and said, "Okay, I am about to pop. I have enough going on without worrying about making too much noise for you." I said, calmly still, "We talked about this, though, and you assured me it wasn't a problem that I needed this quiet time for editing. So I'm not sure what to do. I'm just letting you know that there was still loud music right next to my room even though we had talked about it." He responded, "Then you need to be more specific because I don't know what you're doing in there." I corrected, "But I told you this morning that I was going to be editing audio and you said it was no problem to have some quiet in the kitchen while I did so." He got more aggressive, "No, you need to be more specific." Again, "I was specific. I told you the time frame that I was going to be editing audio in. You said you understood. I don't know what else to do to fix this other than by openly communicating to you about it." I started crying because--I mean, uhh?? This is gaslighting. I couldn't believe that mere hours after I had specifically told my dad that I was editing audio and that he had assured me it was no problem to have some quiet, that he was accusing me of not telling him what I needed, and that he had not agreed to it or something. Like wtf. He got nastier and blamed me for his stress. But me crying triggered his guilt so he tried to soothe himself by hugging me like he does and I pulled away. I tried to emphasize to him that I'm not just making content for fun. I'm literally trying to make money and contribute to the household like he has told me I need to do for the past 8 years. And when he disrupts my editing process, it just makes it take longer, and it makes it harder for me to earn extra money. His gf was also super rude to me when I tried to be friendly and have a conversation with her. I was telling her about how great it felt to have my sister initiate a conversation about my gender identity and she interrupted me (like she does constantly) to say, "YOU KNOW YOUR SISTER DOESN'T ACTUALLY GIVE A SHIT, RIGHT?" (wtf...) After this, I didn't speak to them for three days. I was feeling the urge to self-harm that whole weekend and all I could do was stay in bed crying after that. I knew if I spoke to them I would just get triggered so I was protecting myself. My dad felt guilty and tried to talk to me in my room. I tried to explain how triggering this whole situation is for me and he said he would do anything to make it easier for me. I had told him what I needed but that he had gaslighted me about it. - This next and last part is going to illustrate the priorities in this household. A few years ago, I started having problems with hives. I spent almost a whole year having very painful breakouts all over my body. It kept me up all night and caused me so much discomfort during the day. I kept telling my dad about it (no response, or annoyed responses), I went to the doctor several times about it (useless ointments), and suffered month after month. I tried so many things, I thought maybe it was bugs, spiders, etc. My asthma was also acting up and I remembered that an ex-neighbor had been suspicious of mold because of their health issues getting better the second they moved out. They had told me back then that we should test for mold. I brought it up to my dad that I had been suffering from this for

long enough and that we should do something about it (mold also makes fibromyalgia and ME way worse). He angrily snapped, "What do you want me to do about it?" I suggested we ask the landlord to mold test the apartment. He refused bc he doesn't like to bother the landlord. I said that I would just order a mold kit myself and he said, "No, let me do it, I'll pick the right one." But he wouldn't even after I kept reminding him. Even after I sent him links to mold kits that we could order. After I got rid of my mattress, my hives got a lot better but I still have issues every now and then. For years I have just lived with this because I couldn't get him to even care about the fact that I was spotted with these big pink hives. When his gf moved in, we had a random rainy day, which seems to have activated the mold. His gf got one tiny little hive and the sniffles. She said to him once, "Hey, I think you have mold in this house." Want to guess what happened after that? You're right. He immediately ordered several mold test kits. I said to my therapist, "How am I supposed to feel about that? Is it really unreasonable, am I really in the wrong to feel hurt by that?" My therapist said, "I mean, I would feel completely invalidated and like I didn't matter." This isn't the first time empathy has been withheld from me obviously (above examples during my flare ups), but sometimes even when it's right in front of him he just can't bring himself to care for some reason. One time a big piece of glass was in my thumb. I said, "Ahhh, glass, help! Glass!" He was eating snacks in the kitchen and just glanced at me, didn't move or say anything. I realized he wasn't going to help, so shaking and bleeding, I managed to pull the glass out with tweezers very painfully. It bled so much and I stood over the sink trying to stop it. My dad just kept eating his snacks, not asking if I was okay or anything, he didn't even look at me. After 5 minutes I still couldn't get the blood to stop and asked my dad if he could help, maybe get me some gauze. He put food in his mouth and sighed, "Just put pressure on it" and walked away. It feels like he's just disgusted with me. I know that he does love me and that he's trying the best he can with all of his mental/emotional/personality flaws but he thinks that just because he puts a roof over my head that he can treat me however he wants and not work on his issues, that it's my fault for being hurt. He thinks that his issues are all on me to learn to endure and it's not right. I know that he resents me for getting in the way of him having a relationship because that's the only message I have gotten since childhood, with every woman he's brought into my home. But in the end his relationships always fall apart because the woman ends up realizing, and stating to him, that he is "emotionally absent". And every time, I comfort my dad through the break up. When he has tried to blame his ex I said once to him that therapy can really help him with his emotional issues and relationships. But he refuses, so. That's on him. But I refuse to believe that I am in the wrong here for saying enough is enough. But he's going to keep trying to make me believe that the problem is just me and my feelings, not his behavior. Nope. Boundary is up. I just have to keep to myself and do what I need to do to stay safe until I can move out. Because I guarantee you he's going to realize he doesn't get enough validation from his gf and then come running back to me as always and then be angry that I'm still holding my boundary strong. I know that this will hurt less as I get distance from it, but I don't like the idea of my pain being my fault when I grew up with this toxic stuff. I'm working so hard to make it hurt less but I can't heal if it keeps happening, so all I can do is back away from what is hurting me instead of being surprised when I'm hurt again. THAT is on me 100%. Hopefully he doesn't grab my desk and slam it against the wall again like in 2014 when I first tried to set this boundary. And of course when he

"apologized" he accused me of "punishing him" by not spending time with him. Jee-zus, dude. Get therapy. I can't be the only one in this family bearing this weight and working on my shit.

#teku #personal #do nut re bagel

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