#like that’s why I adopted him even though I already had 3 pigs at home

[piggiebelles]

The winner of the poll…. Is going to the vet tomorrow. He’s not feeling well but he’s getting critical care with water (and diluted organic apple juice)…

So in a way, he’s winning irl too?

(Read the tags cause I had lots of fun telling talking about him. I love him)

[i-need-air]

Hybrid!AU Wolf!Bakugou Katsuki HCs Part 2.

Summary: Part 2 is here! While in part 1 it was mostly adoption and how he'd behave with you as a roommate, part two is him ✨ realizing things ✨ followed by how he'd be in a romantic relationship.

Word Count: 2k words [ oops, I did it again ]

Notes: So I said it'll be out in a few days but three [3] people asked me for part 2 and I'm a sucker soooooooo!! I could've just written a long ass fic but whatever, I thought I'd make it shorter in headcanons... hah lol right. Enjoy!

Part 1 here!

× he's a wild wolf so he's very active; like you need to understand he needs to go outside if not he'd get impatient, more aggressive, snappy, so once you took him on an easy hiking trail near your house and he loved it so once or twice a month you both go together to different places [ he demands it ]

× it's hard to keep up with him bc he's literally genetically engineered to be better than any very fit human being but he slows down for you

× morning runs at 5 a.m. bc he's insane

× is also a grandpa

× watched all documentaries on any streaming platform you could provide to him, also loves reading

× as months pass and you start to have your routine in order, word comes to you that an acquaintance is looking for a security guard at his mechanical shop two streets away from your house

× you casually mentioned it to Bakugou because he was starting to act anxious whenever you'd leave the house, so you assumed he was extra bored

× seriously, the house was spotlessly cleaned, he cooked amazingly and was occupied with your old laptop and going around the city to explore, but you guessed he wanted more independence?

× little did you know you were right but so wrong lol

× so Bakugou stared at you intensely and asked "Where?"

× it was as easy as telling him the location, him nodding and you thought he'd consider it; you didn't put any pressure on him because he already did so much to help around anyway

× well guess what bitch, next day he comes up to you saying you gotta co-sign his contract [cuz fuck society] meaning he got the job

× he was perfect for it because tall, intimidating, muscular wolf guy? who'd even mess with him? do they have a death wish?

× well, even before this he started to be... soft

× but once you really did show him you support whatever he wants to do, you give him his freedom and liberty of choice, he just reaaally changes, man

× he gets touchy, like his hands stay one second longer on your skin, he uses any excuse to have them on you, even his eyes follow you everywhere

× like c'mon, it's obvious but you didn't wanna put too much thought into it because we're respectful here

× not like you had a big fat crush on him and slowly started to realize it too

× sike bitch he knows

× you think his super-hearing didn't catch the way your heartbeat spikes up every single time he touches you? *please*

× i think he knows before you know

× meanwhile he is working to discover his feelings too

× so your relationship slowly turns into a couple's like relationship but without anything official and of course no kissing or such [ sadly ]

× would get jealous easily

× basically because nothing is talked between you two and deep down is insecure

× why the hell do you smell like other people? was it just a hug or something else? hell, why would you even hug people when he's right there??? just ask and don't touch some extras????

× another thing he does is getting very close to you while you talk to somebody else; scoffs and glares at them too

× ok so!! gifts! he really appreciates any gift you give him but scolds you if you do because you genuinely don't need to do that

× of course he just scolds you and calls you an idiot so I do hope you already learned his language

× it basically means that you shouldn't have done it, he's really grateful but seriously you shouldn't have

× like that one time you saved up money to get him a good computer and he forgot how to speak for like an hour

× the softest thank you ever afterwards

× still sounded rough but he was shocked as fuck

× one thing that remained in your brain were his friends, as sometimes he'd mention them

× so you took it upon yourself to find them, of course with his permission

× gets genuinely overwhelmed and plays it off saying he wouldn't mind knowing where those idiots ended but you didn't miss the way his voice trembled

× for you to find them you needed names and any information he could provide so that's when he, after a long silence and a mesmerized look on his face, started really talking about his life

× which was fucked; won't get much into detail but he was indeed in a fighting ring, people came and bet on whoever was stronger, he even had to fight his friends, everything was filled with abuse and their conditions were subhuman...

× just overall awful

× you couldn't help but hug him tight, feeling him shake in your arms

× with a hesitant voice he asked if you really did think there was a chance to find them

× just couldn't believe how amazing he felt in your arms

× or how your determination that night made his heart clench and took a big weight off his shoulders

× anywho;;;; after his first paycheck he takes you out on cute dates

× never calls them that, just demands you dress up [helps you out cuz boy got style] and takes you to a nice coffee shop or something

× AND on your fifth not date cuz you're not official but there's this weird tension between you date he finally kinda s n a p s

× you honestly didn't expect the waiter to flirt with you, he came out as very pushy and even if you were a lil uncomfortable you smiled and brushed it off

× when the waiter suggested giving you his number the sandy blond hybrid growled

× which i shit you not made the whole coffee shop freeze

× and you froze too

× but neither of you could say anything because the oblivious fuck kept talking

× basically joking about how you should keep your pet in a leash, to which you got up, threw some money on the table, grabbed Bakugou by the hand and leave before he'd rip someone's head off

× it only took you to touch Bakugou's arm to calm him down as he followed behind you wordlessly

× so you stood outside, angry, deep red eyes on your figure

× and silence

× his hand still in yours

× it was warm and amazing and you felt angry but your heart was beating loudly; angry at the waiter that you wanted to go full Karen on and get fired but excited because that growl shook you to the core, as if you could tell it was territorial and it was because of that pig flirting with you and did Bakugou Katsuki just lace his fingers with you?!

× "Oi." he interrupted your thoughts

× he turned your frame towards him and pulled you [kinda harshly] into him

× you'd make a comment about it but brain empty, just Bakugou Katsuki blushing

× "You're mine, you get it?"

× skdjflglykshs

× it sounded like he asked but it was a demand so oops you're his now ok bye

× like I said, boy isn't dumb so he lowkey knew you felt something too

× legit from there on he's just soft as fuck

× has a hard time opening up but visibly tries for you

× still continues to be a pain in the ass, Bakugou Style, but with a loving teasing attitude behind it

× his eyes give him away all the time

× they shine whenever you're in his field of view so congrats because, and this is the best part:

× WOLVES MATE FOREVER 💕💓💞💗💝💟

× oh yeah, he's yours, no takebacks

× he isn't one to half-ass the relationship; you're his now and he'll do anything for you

× big time touch starved it hurts

× because he is shy

× so whenever you introduce him to hand holding and cuddles, he can't get enough

× not big on PDA [ and not recommended since human-hybrid relationships are kiiiinda frowned upon but it's getting better ]

× although at home it's another deal

× seriously cuddle him; he's big into the protector vibe so he's a big spoon almost exclusively unless it's to sleep on top of you

× speaking of! accept that even if your relationship isn't that intimate, he'd still hint about sleeping together in the same bed

× so you better catch on when he does because he'll just click his tongue and call you needy

× while dragging you to bed

× sleeps holding you, his nose in your hair or in the crook of your neck

× unless it's summer then stay on your side 💅

× you know those kisses that just scream "I can't get enough of you"? that's his whole kissing vibe in a sentence

× hell, even the gentlest kiss gives that vibe away and it'll 100% leave you breathless

× doesn't have experience but is a very fast learner

× pays very close attention to your body language

× really into biting your skin enough to leave marks

× wear his hoodies

× no, I'm fucking serious, wear them now

× his chest puffs and he turns into a blushing mess when you do it the first times because his scent is on you

× scenting is a big thing for him so of course he's gonna love it

× 10x more territorial because now he has a mate to protect

× jealous but trusts you

× still very jealous though

× let's all pretend he is definitely not scenting you before you go out because it's in his nature and it is embarrassing

× the first time he tells you he loves you it's when he's feeling vulnerable

× the search for his friends is still on-going, he feels less than adequate as a providing mate, is pissed at the world for treating him like an inferior animal when they created him, everything is piled on his shoulders and whenever than happens he closes off

× you notice immediately

× will not tell you at first

× it's only when you go to bed and he turns his back to you when you really know it's bad

× even if you fought before, he'd angrily snuggle you at night-time

× now it's so different

× hug him, whisper sweet nothings in his ear, pull a blanket all over you both and big spoon him, he'd start shaking and talking in no time

× will hide his tears from you but you'd know

× "You're the best fucking thing that happened to me, [Y/N]... I—... Shit... I love you so much."

× neither of you slept that night

× excuse you? drink some water and pray to jesus;;; you talked about feelings, ok? communication is key in a relationship, puh-lease

× [ i have this whole nsfw hcs post already cookin in my brain so maybe I'll make it happen cuz y'all know he has a mating season and all that comes with it 👀 ]

× back to being children of jesus here

× thanks the moon, the heavens and all the gods for putting you in his life; boy didn't believe in destiny but deep down he thinks you were meant to be

× you still better wash the dishes or you'll get your ass kicked.

Extra:

× you did find some of his friends, little by little, and even if he acted nonchalant, like k das cool, it was obvious he was extremely happy

× so they did get adopted too

× you got in contact with them on social media and they were all very excited about meeting

× so it was a chaotic meeting with a dog hybrid called Kirishima and a mouse like vibrat yellow guy called Kaminari

× they all were looking for Bakugou too since they were very worried about where he ended

× Kirishima shed manly tears when seeing Bakugou

× as they instantly welcomed you in their small group, they informed you both that the majority of the squad was adopted and they're in contact, while they're still actively looking for the others

× cue to the softest expression you've seen on Bakugou in public followed by "That's good"

× silence

× shock and silence

× Kaminari turning to you and whispering "You did this" with a hand on his heart, lips trembling as he wiped an imaginary tear

× insert instantly snappy Bakugou

× when everyone laughed and continued to make plans to meet up with the others, he just looked at you conversing with them, soft expression again on his features and his chest warming

× "Oh! Look, he's doing it again! Quick, take a pictur—"

× "SHINE!"

[yutahoes]

Sakura

(Part Eleven)

One - Two - Three - Four - Five - Six - Seven -  Eight - Nine - Ten - Eleven

genre : Chaptered, Fluff

pairing : childhood friends: soccer player! Nakamoto Yuta x single mom! Y/N

word count : 2.4k words

You’ll always be his Sakura.

@ailoveyuta @loona-4-eva @aiforyuu @2-3-t-i @cosmiclatte28 @url-lindo-sexy @nuoyipeach @aaasteroidsky  @readers-posts @delightfultacobread @bby-kji9​

"Dude, you are crazy," Mark exclaimed. "Now, you can't play with the team for a month." Yuta just shrugged. It was just probation, a warning against what he did earlier. Honestly, it was all worth it especially when he found out that the coach was relieved from his job. Some parents complained that his son is indeed a bully and the coach would often abuse the players of the team. 

Instead of heading to Germany where the team is playing, he's here in Korea and practicing on his own. "It's just a month, Mark. Don't overreact." He teased, seated on the soccer field. "If they don't let me play again, I'll apply as the soccer coach in the elementary school." The younger sighed, sitting cross-legged beside him. 

"You're serious about this girl, aren't you?" Yuta smiled, playing with the soccer ball. "What if you marry her, hyung? Are you planning to have a child with her?" 

He lay down the grass. "That's just a bonus. I wouldn't mind adopting Jae and Cherry, just the four of us would be fine." 

"But they're not your children." 

Yuta glared. "You don't need to be blood-related to call each other family, Mark." He chuckled. "I even call you brother." He took his phone from his jersey pocket, creating a message. "Speaking of which, do you want to come with me to Japan this summer? Okaasan would love to see you again." His gaze never left his phone. 

Mark nodded. "Are you bringing them to Japan as well?" 

Yuta smirked. "I'm going to ask Y/N first." He put his phone back in his pocket. "She said she's bringing lunch. Just wish that it's edible." 

The younger just shook his head that made Yuta laugh. Jae was running to him when they reached the field where Yuta is and Cherry gave him a hug. Y/N was just bowing at him and at Mark, apologizing for the bother but Yuta shook his head. He introduced his manager to the three and the two immediately called him 'samchon' that made Mark smile. 

They set up a mini picnic on the grass and Y/N showed the variety of sushi on different lunch boxes. “You made these all?” Yuta asked and she shook her head saying that it was Taeil, the chef in the restaurant she’s working at, who did everything. “And I thought I’m going to taste sushi cooked by you. You got me excited for no reason.” He said cutely that made Mark choke on his food. The older just glared at him but he shook his head. 

“Yuta appa, do you like sushi?” Cherry asked that made him nod. “This is my first time eating sushi.” 

Really though? He remembered eating some great flavored sushi in Chicago. And these, it’s really good. “You’ve never tried Japanese cuisines before?” The two kids shook their heads. He watched as Jae removed the vegetables, eating them then the rice covering the sushi. That's cute. He taught the younger guy how to properly eat the meal, even Cherry who just listened to them. 

After some practice and even playing with Jae and Cherry, Yuta invited Mark to come with them but he declined, only smiling at him. He brought them to the library that Jae and Chery liked, making Y/N amazed. "No wonder they liked this place." She exclaimed which made Yuta laugh, watching as the two kids started running to the designated rooms: Jae on the play area and Cherry on the mystery novels. "How did you find this place?" 

"I was searching for Agatha Christie books nearby when I found this library." The girl only raised an eyebrow at him. "I don't read much but Cherry seemed interested so I wanted to read some of her works. It's amazing, Y/N." 

The girl smiled. "I'm glad you're reading. You can't even make a book report when we were in elementary." Yuta looked offended but he just laughed. It was true anyway. He only picked up reading when she wrote letters for him. "So you're going to read with Cherry today?" 

"Will you be alright with Jae? He's kind of hyper when playing." 

"I think I can manage." She said with a smile which made him nod. "We'll see you later." 

Yuta held her hand and she gave him a puzzling look. "I like these little dates." Y/N just smiled at him. A simple smile that made his heart go haywire. He was grinning when he went inside the room where Cherry is that made the younger look at him weirdly. "What are you reading?" She showed the book, Five Little Pigs. "What was the book you were reading last time?" 

"The Body in the Library," Cherry said, not removing her eyes from the book. "Appa, should I tell you who the killer is?" 

The guy had to chuckle while looking for the book she mentioned. "Later. Let me just read the first chapter then tell me what happened." Cherry nodded then returned to her book when Yuta sat on the bean bag next to her. This is so calming. Reading quietly after a long day of practice. Next to a bookworm who seemed so engrossed with her reading. 

He liked this calmness. Wanted this calmness. Appa. Cherry calls him appa now. Who would have thought that the expressionless girl he met earlier this year is now warming up to him? Who would have thought that his youngest fanboy before would be his favorite soccer player now? Who would have thought that the girl he grew up with, who he tried to forget about, is now the girl who makes his heart race? How can he even make this calmness his?

"Cherry." He called, closing his book. "You said you'll help me with your mom right?" The younger nodded, smiling widely at him. It's weird that he's asking this thing to Cherry but this is the only thing he can think of. “What can I do to make her fall in love with me?” 

The younger laughed at that. “You should know it. You’re older than me.” But Cherry knows her more. “You should bring eomma out for a date. Make her eat delicious foods, watch a movie together, then buy her flowers.” She listed and he listened attentively. “You should also take her out dancing. Eomma would really love that.” 

“Your mom loves dancing?” 

Cherry shrugged. “But that’s what they do in romance novels.” Yuta chuckled at that. Of course, they do that. “After that, they kiss then they go to a hotel…” 

“What romance novels have you been reading, young lady?” Cherry was giggling that made Yuta smile while ruffling her hair. “Do you think I can make your mom fall for me that way?” 

The younger nodded. “She already is.”  

                                   ----------

“Hyung, you look weird.” Mark teased which made the older glare at him. “It’s just a date night. Haven’t you been on a date before?” 

Honestly, he had never been on a date before. This will be the first. And he can’t believe that it is with her. But Mark doesn’t need to know that. 

He was thankful enough that he volunteered to babysit Cherry and Jae for the night. He repeatedly took note of the things he must do, make her eat delicious foods, watch a movie together, buy her flowers, then take her out dancing. He can kiss her as Cherry suggested but the hotel would be out of the equation now. “Do I look alright?” He asked the younger guy who only laughed and said that he looked weird. 

Cherry opened the door then grinned at him, “Where are the flowers?” She asked and Yuta answered that it’s in the car. “What time are you bringing eomma home, appa?” Even Mark laughed at the tone of her voice. She sounds like a mom. 

“Before ten?” Yuta answered in a questioning tone that made the younger girl nod. Jae sat on his lap when he sat on their couch, asking if he could buy some chocolates for him on their way home. Yuta nodded although he’s surely sleeping when they get home. His focus was disturbed when Y/N went out of the room in skinny jeans and a pink hoodie. So pretty. 

“Eomma!” Cherry shouted. “Didn’t I tell you to wear that black dress?” 

Yuta chuckled at that. “It’s fine. You look great. Don’t dress up too much, I’ll get too nervous.” 

“I still don’t know what you two are planning.” She stared at both Yuta and Cherry who grinned playfully. “Why do you have to drag Mark here?” She asked then bowed at the younger guy who only smiled then shook his head. “Can’t we just stay here? I’ll just cook dinner.” 

Yuta started whispering in Jae’s ear that made the younger boy giggle. “Appa said you have to trust him and Cherry noona.” He chuckled then whispered something in his ear again. “Appa said you’re really pretty.” She squinted her eyes at the two boys. 

"You two should go if you want to return by ten," Mark said, taking Jae from Yuta. "Don't worry about anything here." 

Y/N kissed Jae's head before leaving, reminding him that he should behave and not give Mark trouble. “Y/N,” Cherry called that surprised them. “You should be Yuta’s date tonight and not Cherry and Jae’s eomma, understood?” The older girl just chuckled then kissed the top of Cherry’s head, whispering something to her that made the younger giggle. 

He held a hand out for her which she took, intertwining their fingers together. “Why do I feel like Cherry and you have something planned?” He opened the door to the passenger seat for her, nodding. Well, her daughter planned this date after all. “Where are we going?" She asked when he sat on the driver's seat. 

Before starting the car engine, Yuta handed her the flowers from the backseat that made her smile. He even helped her with the seatbelt that she unconsciously forgot. "To eat delicious food." He answered. "Do you have a place in mind?"

"I'm not yet hungry. Are you?" Yuta shook his head. It's still early. Maybe they can watch a movie first. But what is showing nowadays? "Yuta, can we go to a museum?" A museum? "You know when we were young, okaasan would always bring us to museums." He remembered that she liked museums so much when she was a child then his mom would always leave the two of them in front of a painting that she would stare at for hours. Yuta smiled. Maybe that was his first date without even realizing it. 

The museum was quiet with few people walking to see some paintings, a silent chatter can be heard in every corner. They stopped in front of a large painting of flowers, seated on the bench in front of it. Her eyes were focused on that canvas as if painting the picture with her mind. She hasn't changed. She's still the same girl. 

They walked to the further part of the art collection without even talking to each other yet he found the quietness calming. She stopped in front of a woman's painting, holding what looks like a sword. "Lucretia," she whispered. "I remembered first seeing this when I'm pregnant with Cherry." Yuta glanced at the painting. He's never a real good art critic, he doesn't even know anything about art but this looks sad. 

“What is the painting about?” 

Y/N smiled. “She’s a noblewoman from ancient Rome. I read that her suicide created a rebellion that changed Rome from kingdom to a republic.” He smiled, he can actually listen to her explanation all day. 

“She’s killing herself here?” She nodded. That’s why it looked so melancholic. “Why would she kill herself?” 

“Because she was raped.” It made him stop. “Oddly enough, the artist who made this painting is Artemisia Gentileschi and she was also raped.” He lightly glanced at her but her eyes were still focused on the oil canvas in front of them. “I thought I could be like that.” A bitter smile escaped her lips. “But whenever I hold a paintbrush, I can feel cold hands touching me.” 

Fuck, Yuta thought. He doesn’t want to imagine the things that happened or he’ll see red. Imagine how hard it was for her who actually experienced everything. That monster. He only hoped that Johnny could do something to make him pay for his sins. “I felt disgusted with myself.” 

He moved closer, his hand held hers. “It’s not your fault. You were a victim.” He slipped his hand off hers then held her closer by her shoulder. “I wish you could go back to painting without all these negative thoughts.” He rubbed her arm in comfort. “Whatever happens, I just want to assure you that you’re a strong woman just like…” he stopped then giggled. “That painter. What was her name again? Fettuccini?” 

Y/N laughed then leaned her head on his chest. “Thank you, Yuta.”

“Anything for you, Sakura.”  Y/N smiled. “Speaking of which…” Yuta let go of her, taking something from his jean pocket. “I had this for years now.” On his hand was a necklace with a winged beak-like image as a pendant. Cardcaptor Sakura’s necklace. “I was about to give this to you in Chicago when I confess.” He removed the hook of the necklace asking her to turn around to put it on her. “Now, we just wait for it to transform into your magical weapon.” 

The girl giggled at that, touching the pendant. “Isn’t this the necklace I wanted back in Osaka? You said I can’t eat it.” 

Yuta nodded. “You can’t. He smirked at her. “But now, you can eat my love.” She raised an eyebrow at that and he groaned. “That was so cheesy. I can’t believe I said that.” She chuckled at that, still playing with the pendant of the necklace. “This isn’t part of the plan. I should have stuck to Cherry’s date plan.”  

She smiled at that. “You really do love Cherry.” 

“More than anything. Jae too.” 

“Yuta,” she called which made him hum. “I’ll try to paint again.” He nodded encouraging her. “When I finish my painting, can you grant me a wish?” Yuta grinned then raised an eyebrow at her. What wish? 

But then, who is he to say no to her? He nodded. “Anything for you, my love.” 

🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸

Twelve

[cno-inbminor]

domus - pt. 3 (final)

a/n: it’s done. oh god it’s done. it’s like 2AM so it’s unedited for now, but i’ll make edits in the morning. i also apologize in advance for the slightly rushed ending fas;elifjac you will need to read parts 1 and 2 (linked below) for context!

plot: when kuroo tetsuro drops the hard-hitting truth that he’s fallen out of love with you, your first thought is to escape. but you find comfort in the least likely person: akaashi keiji, a boy you had grown up with out of forced family interactions, who always seemed so distant from you. yet you probably knew more about him than anyone else.

characters: fem!reader, ex-bf!kuroo, & family friend!akaashi

wc: ~8k

genre/warnings: angst with teaspoons of fluff; mentions of alcohol and getting drunk

pt. 1 | pt. 2

The grey sheets fail to startle you this time around, granted that it’s been about four days since you first arrived. It’s the constriction of cotton around your body that wakes you up on this Tuesday morning, and your brain can’t fathom why your loose pajamas have suddenly become so uncomfortable. But then the threads tickle the skin of your arms, your legs feel the slight scrape of denim, and your toes have trouble wiggling around due to the constraint of…socks.

Why are you wearing socks to sleep?

Much to your body’s protest, you stumble out of Keiji’s comfortable sheets (note to self: ask him where he got them from) and into the reflection of the body-length mirror in his room. Your vision blurs when all the colors of the rainbow come into place, exploding into a million stars as you lose a bit of your balance. Thankfully, your hand finds purchase against the wall and allows you to regain some stability. It only takes a few seconds, overwhelmingly agonizing as they are, before you can properly assess your current state.

Yesterday’s outfit glares back at you, though much more mussed and wrinkled than you last saw it. Similarly, your hair is in a disarray, hands subconsciously trying to take out any tangles while you can. Knowing the state of cleanliness that Keiji keeps his space in, you feel a wave of regret wash over you for having slept in his bed in air-polluted clothes that must have caught who knows how many germs. Immediately, you move to your suitcase to find something to change into, discarding your current outfit into a large plastic bag that acted as your nomadic hamper. As soon as you’re done, you begin to gather up all the layers of Keiji’s bed, fitted sheet and all, and leaving them on top of the mattress in separate piles by how they should be washed. But while you gather the first bundle into your arms, you take a quick look at the clock, slightly flabbergasted that it’s only a little past 6AM.

In your somewhat frantic attempt to atone for your sins against Keiji’s abode, you failed to notice the lack of sun rays peeking from behind the curtains. And much like you’ve done every day since you showed up, you pull the material back and greet the nostalgic view of Tokyo once more.

But serenity doesn’t come to you. In fact, your heart seems to be weighed down by an unknown anchor. Instinctively, your arms come up to hug yourself slightly, knowing that it’s a feeble attempt at best. The weight gradually mixes with a grasp of suffocation and the feeling closes around your throat. Immediately, you seek a source of fresh air, eyes catching a handle on the window that you somehow missed all these days. This means that Keiji has two separate doors to the balcony, including the one in the living room, and you do your best to quickly yet quietly slide the pane open. As soon as there’s enough space for you to slide through, you practically bound out and lean yourself over the rail of the balcony, lungs taking in deep breaths of oxygen.

Below you, the city has already begun to awaken, pedestrians the size of ants seemingly crawling their away down the street. Faint car honks echo through the city, the occasional train horn blaring louder than the rest. These are sights and sounds you find familiar, and somehow, the unease in your chest settles. Everything seems okay again, and you wonder why it crept up on you so suddenly.

The realization creeps through your veins as you drink in the sight of the SkyTree: you’re not quite ready to leave yet. You don’t think you’re ready to hop on a plane back to Sapporo and back to the apartment that you and Tetsuro spent the last few years building together. Every corner, every nook and cranny of that unit was filled with memories upon memories, mostly good and some bad. And even if you want to think back on them, to be able to look at them and recall the moments fondly, you know that Tetsuro’s unfortunate confession would immediately overshadow all of it. They would just leave you in the same pool of broken bitterness that you originally escaped from.

You still haven’t texted him.

He must be worried sick, you think as your feet drag you back inside and grab your device from the nightstand. You check through your notifications as you step out onto the balcony again, and after a few minutes, your thumb hovers over his conversation thread. A stinging pain courses through your system at the nickname you have set for his contact, and you hate it. You hate how fresh it still feels, completely and utterly frustrated at yourself that part of you still hasn’t let go of him. Why couldn’t you be stronger than this?

But despite your distress, you tap on it and hesitate above the keyboard, trying to think of the right words. Only a few come to your mind, and before you can convince yourself to back out (because you owed him at least this much), your thumbs type out two words and hit the send button, immediately locking it afterwards and sliding it into the pocket of your gym shorts. Out of sight, out of mind, right? He wanted a text of confirmation, you give him a text. That’s all you would allow yourself without crumbling again, and you were trying to put all the Band-aids you could on it.

Undoubtedly, Keiji’s presence helps. It’s easy to not think about Tetsuro when you’re around him, busying yourself with either work emails or recipes that you want to try out. The former doesn’t mind being a guinea pig, as he so kindly put it on Sunday. In fact, he handed you a cookbook from his shelf that had some recipes tabbed with sticky notes, pointing out the ones he thought you might enjoy. Surprisingly, they were all very appealing and to your taste, and part of you wonders if it’s just a mild coincidence. So far, you haven’t messed anything up, and Keiji always finishes his portion with slightly veiled enthusiasm. He knew how much you enjoyed cooking and baking for others, evidence presented by the years of instances when you stopped at their house to drop off your newest creations – so whether or not his compliments were genuine, you took it.

What you don’t know is the number of knowing glances throughout middle and high school that Keiji’s mother would give him as he munched on your edible gifts, pretending to seem unfazed though his eyes adopted a slight twinkle as he ate his fair share. If she could see him now, she’d notice the same shine in them.

Part of you itches to see if Tetsuro read your text message, if he will bother responding. The phone burns in your pocket, but you decide against it, letting it scorch against your thigh as you lean against the rail and watch the sky grow brighter. You miss the carefree mornings like these when you aren’t in a rush to leave the apartment. All that’s really on your mind now is what to make for breakfast, mentally running through all the ingredients that Keiji has.

Today seems like a good day for pancakes.

-

Keiji’s eyes snap open when his phone goes off, mentally groaning when he realized he forgot to turn off the daily alarm he usually sets for going into work. Now that he’s spending a few days at home, there’s been no need to get up so early. He left it on yesterday since they had that early ride on the bullet train, but with all the events that happened last night, he simply forgot.

Keiji sees that his bedroom door remains closed and believes you’re still asleep. But when he stands up to stretch and looks out his balcony windows, he catches a glimpse of your figure through the gap in the curtains. The breeze from the AC slightly causes them to flutter, giving him a better view as he steps around the couch to get a better angle. You look pensive and somewhat defeated, staring out into the open space as the wind from the heights tousles your hair. He wonders if you’ve taken the initiative to let Tetsuro know if you were okay.

At this thought, his eyes are drawn the phone on his coffee table, staring for a few seconds and calculating to see if this is a good idea. Unable to find any issues with it, he steps back to reach for the device. On the off-chance that you did text him, he doubts that you told your boyfriend where you’re staying. Keiji knows that Tetsuro would be worried regardless and perhaps might gain some comfort from knowing that you were staying with a friend. So before he can chicken out, he taps a short text, ignoring the fact that it’s been months since the two had last spoken outside of the group chat Koutaro created for the three of them and Tsukishima.      

The lack of an immediate reply indicates that the former Nekoma captain is either still asleep or busy with his residency. Keiji casts one last look at you, noticing that you haven’t moved in the last few minutes. It seems that you’ll be there for a while and lost in your thoughts. There were only a few times in his life when he had witnessed this faraway look of yours, knowing it was better to leave you alone than to try and rip you out of the reverie. Perhaps he’ll take a chance with breakfast today, a small repayment for the onigiri and juice boxes you bought him on the train.

He thinks you might enjoy having some pancakes.

-

The deafening creak and slide of plastic ripping away from its rubber suction startles you. Much like you did when Keiji first scared you on Saturday morning, you turn to the source of fright with a hand over your pounding heart, staring in disbelief as said man walks out with a tray of food. Though this time, much to your amusement, he looks rather apologetic. The humor quickly morphs into guilt as you notice the two plates of pancakes – just how long had you been standing out here?

In a few steps, you meet him and silently take the tray from his hands, allowing him to close the balcony door. There’s no good place to put it besides the ground, and when Keiji sits next to it – legs stretched out – with his back against the plexiglass, you demurely mimic his movements on the other side of the tray. Without a word, Keiji places his portion onto his lap and grabs his own set of fork and knife. You simply stare at him until he gestures for you to do the same, returning the small smile he gives you. Both of you say your thanks before digging in, and you can’t help but notice how Keiji has drizzled just the right amount of syrup and in the way that you like it.

“I’m sorry I couldn’t help you,” you apologize after a few bites in. Despite how fluffy and soft they are, the pancakes have a hard time going down your throat. Keiji had also gone through the trouble of making some freshly squeezed orange juice, yet the sip of the beverage doesn’t help much.

“It’s the least I could do after yesterday,” he says softly, and his eyes let you know he really didn’t mind. “Really, you’ve been cooking everything else. I saw a chance and took it.”

“But still—”

“I was more than happy to do it,” Keiji interjects. “It’s my way of saying thanks.”

“…has anyone ever told you that you’re too kind sometimes?” It’s easier to swallow now.

“Bokuto-san has mentioned it a few times,” he replies quickly, staring at you before you both burst out laughing.

From there, conversation flows more smoothly, topics ranging from the MSBY practice session yesterday to what mangas he’s been editing. The pancakes quickly disappear as the sun beams through the clouds, gradually heating up the earth until it was becoming somewhat unbearable in the heat. Keiji sports a light sheen of sweat by the time you two decide it’s wise to go back inside. He takes the tray before you can even think of grabbing it, ushering you to go ahead and shower first while he washes the dishes. As a sign of thanks, you give an affectionate squeeze around his upper arm as you walk past him.

Keiji pretends that his skin isn’t burning from the touch.

Right as he’s placing everything onto the drying rack, his phone rings from the pocket of his sweatpants. He’s not entirely surprised when Kuroo’s name flashes on the screen – after his text, he figured your boyfriend would either message back with lots of question marks or simply call to demand answers. A quick exhale leaves his lungs as he hits the green button and brings the device to his ear.

“Hi Kuroo-san.”

“What do you mean ‘she’s staying with me’?”

Keiji glances in the direction of the bathroom and hears the shower still running. Chances of you eavesdropping or overhearing would be low.

“It’s exactly what I mean. She’s staying with me for the time being.”

“Why you?”

“Honestly, that’s a good question.”

“…wait, so you didn’t know she was coming?”

“She called me when she was at the airport,” Keiji sighs, leaning back against the sink to keep a lookout on the bathroom. “I was just as surprised as you are.”

“You’ve been treating her okay?”

“Of course, what do you take me for?”

“Sorry, that’s not what I meant,” Kuroo groans. “I only have about 10 minutes left in my break. How’s she doing?”

“As well as someone can do when their significant other suddenly tells them they’re not in love with them anymore.”

The silence is deafening over the phone. Keiji didn’t really mean to slip up right then and there, but he couldn’t help the simmering anger rising in his stomach.

“…I’m guessing she told you then.”

“Just last night. I asked when she got here, but she wasn’t in the mood to talk about it. We went to see Bokuto-san yesterday.”

“That would explain the weird text I got from him last night. Did it help?”

“Yeah, I think so.”

“That’s good then,” Kuroo sighs into the speaker, rubbing his temple with his free hand. “Thank you for taking care of her.”

“I wouldn’t have it any other way,” Keiji replies. “Though if you don’t mind me asking…how did it happen?”

“I don’t have a lot of time left so I’ll make it quick. It just – I don’t know, it kinda hit me one morning. I was wondering why I stopped feeling like I needed to get home as soon as possible. Stopped asking for details about her day, or at least nothing more than how it was. I’d forget half the things she was telling me whenever she talked about her job. It was nice coming home to someone after a long shift, but I just…it didn’t feel all that special knowing she was the one waiting for me. I love her like a best friend, just not romantically anymore. She doesn’t deserve to get dragged along because I can’t speak up about my feelings, so I told her. You understand, right?”

Immediately, Keiji wants to say no. No, he doesn’t get it. It’s nearly unfathomable to him that Tetsuro can just slowly stop caring about the things that were important to you. He imagines your figure curled up in bed, anxiously waiting for your boyfriend to come home safely. He imagines you greeting Tetsuro happily, blissfully unaware that the man only kissed your cheek in greeting as a force of habit.

He imagines your face falling little by little as Tetsuro explains himself, your guard failing to mask the anguish you were feeling, and it pains him. Yet his torment at the thought could only be a small fraction of what you experienced – neither was this the time to be heavily biased.

“I don’t have any say in the matter,” Keiji begins and tries to keep his voice as level as possible. “But you know she’s not going to give in to your terms, right?”

“I know it’s not exactly sensible, but I’m trying—”

“Do you really think she’d be happy knowing that?” He nearly hisses into the phone, simply fed up with Kuroo’s stubbornness. “You’ve just told her you don’t love her anymore, insinuating that you’d be happier without her – knowing how much she loves you, do you really think she’d let you force yourself to try for her sake? You know how selfless she is!”

“And I’m trying to give her a chance to be selfish for once – this is on me, and I could at least try! I loved her once, who says I couldn’t love her again? I’ll give her all the time she needs and—"

“If you really cared about her, you would let her go!”

“It’s not that simple!”

Keiji has never wanted to punch someone so bad in his life. “Don’t you understand it’d be nothing but torture for her? Every day, hanging onto some flimsy hope that everything will go back to the way it used to be? There’s a high chance that you’d never feel that way again, so you’re going to let her waste all that time on you? That’s bullshit, and you know it.”

Tetsuro knows Keiji’s right. He knows, and he loathes it. His own fear of drastic change caused him to spill all those empty promises to you, simply refusing to acknowledge that his own selfish desires were the demons speaking.

“…I’m glad you’re the one she’s staying with. It’s better than being alone in a hotel for a week.”

“You’re digressing.”

“Let her go, huh?”

“Like I said, if you really cared, then yes. Anything she asks of you, go with it. It’s the least you could do.”

“…I gotta go, my break’s up. Thanks, Akaashi.”

Keiji isn’t doing it for him. “Bye, Kuroo-san.”

Beep.

-

“You cannot leave your room until I let you!”

“(Y/n), what—”

“I need to get groceries and what I’m making is gonna take a really long time, but I’ve been dying to try it and this is the perfect time! I wanna surprise you though.”

“You don’t need to surprise me—”

Keiji’s feet are planted in the entrance of his bedroom door, heels digging into the hardwood as much as they can. After he came out of his shower and grabbed a cup of coffee from the kitchen, you were pushing him towards his room, words spilling from your lips a mile a minute.

“Please?” You nearly pout when Keiji turns to get a good look at your face. “You said you need to work anyways, right? I’d be much less of a bother if I was doing something else.”

“You know I don’t mind you being in the same room,” he says gently, hoping that he never said anything that could’ve insinuated your presence wasn’t welcome wherever he was. “Company is nice.”

“We have tomorrow for that, it’s just this one time. Plus, I’m washing the bed and the sheets are still in the dryer.”

“You didn’t have to do that – hey, what if I need to go to the bathroom?”

“You have to promise not to peek!”

“(Y/n)—”

“Pinky promise, right now!” You demand, sticking out a pinky in between the two of you. Keiji pretends to be annoyed at your antics, but he can’t help but smile as your two pinkies link together and thumbs come up for a stamp.    

“What if I need to get something to drink?”

“Just let me know and I’ll bring it to you. And no peeking!”

“As I promised, yes.”

“Don’t miss me too much,” you tease, and Keiji can only watch a little despondently as you disappear out the front door. He isn’t looking forward to the same sight that’ll occur in three days, though that time you’ll be lugging a suitcase behind you and potentially leaving for good.

Instantly, the apartment feels too empty. Everything is too quiet again, reminding him why he has a difficult relationship with working from home. Part of him is so used to the hustle and bustle of the manga company that the silence in an empty home somehow feels wrong. And now that some liveliness has been thrown into the mix, painting his abode with splashes of gentle hues, the void feels even more foreign.

You’ll be back within an hour. He just has to bear with it for that short time frame – there’s a decent pile of work waiting for him anyways.

It might be a good time to start practicing being alone again as well.

-

With determination, Keiji throws himself into his work, only stopping every couple of hours to lean back into his chair and rub his eyes. His little energy bursts come in various forms: when you first came back and greeted, “I’m home!” through his bedroom door, whenever you come in to refill his cup of water, when you come in with two plates of sandwiches          during lunch time, and when you bring him some tea as a change of pace in the afternoon. Every gesture is strongly appreciated, and he wishes he could help you in the kitchen.

(He tries to ignore how domestic everything feels. It’s a sensation he finds himself getting drunk on, the bliss encasing his nerves with a pleasant numbness.)

Keiji broadcasts a bit of his work to you, talking you through his process and the things he looks out for when editing. With you, he doesn’t have to worry about leaking spoilers – in fact, you look more enraptured with his set-up than anything. He enjoys the awe and childlike wonder that cloud your face. It’s a far cry from the ruminative expression from this morning, and Keiji hopes that he’ll never have to see that face again.

Always a man of his word, he stays in his bedroom while you finish making dinner. Based on the smell and distinct sound of something being seared in a hot pan, Keiji gathers there’s meat involved. Earlier, his food processor had been going as well, though he couldn’t exactly place why it sounded like you were beating something against the counter. You might have been butchering something, meaning there was meat involved. But he knows his curiosity will be pleasantly sated and bides his time with mindless YouTube videos.

There’s a quiet knock on his door before it opens, revealing your slightly exhausted frame. Concern washes over him as his eyes frantically assess your current state, flitting around until he spots where your hand seems to be cradling the other. It could only mean one of two possible scenarios, and without a word, he grabs the medicine box from his closet in search of the burn ointment. You begin to try and explain what happened, but before you can even say that you accidentally touched one of racks in the oven with the back of your wrist, you spot the little tube between Keiji’s fingers and fall silent. His eyebrows furrow as he approaches you, standing no more than a couple of centimeters away from you as he finds the burn and begins to apply the balm.

“You should’ve let me help,” he says quietly, regret laced through the words. His lithe fingers hesitate over the mark, hoping that the salve was applied quickly enough to prevent any potential blistering.

“This is nothing,” you try to soothe him. “I was just lost in thought and didn’t realize that my arm was getting a little too close. What matters most is that I still saved the dinner.”

Keiji shakes his head and releases his hold. “That’s not the most important at all. Are you sure there isn’t anything I can help you with?”

“You can help me by waiting here for another 15 minutes until I tell you to come out.”

“You know that’s not—”

“Keiji,” you firmly interject. Your hands grasp one of his, clenching around them to let him know it was okay. The small burn was no one’s fault but yours, and there was no need for him to feel guilty. “I’m okay, really. All the hard parts are over now, I just need to let something cool down and set up the table.”

The man before you releases a defeated sigh and you let go of his hand. Instantly, he misses the warmth and subconsciously flexes his hand in some strange attempt to retain the heat running through his fingers. “Call for me if you need any help, okay?”

“Of course.”

Once more, you exit his room and close the door behind you. He takes this time to stand by and stare out his balcony doors, watching the sun slowly sink below the horizon. A warm, orange glow fills his room as Keiji turns to look at his freshly washed bed, remembering the way you had scuttled in with an armful of linen and batted him away repeatedly from trying to help. He pictures the way you would curl up in sleep, imagining once again just how nice it would be to wake up together with the Tokyo sunrise.

“Dinner’s ready,” your voice calls out from behind him, stealing him away from his daydream. He makes his way around the bed to meet you where you demand him to close his eyes. The skeptical look causes you to laugh as you continue to goad him.

“I’ll make sure you don’t bump into anything, promise.”

“If I so much as nudge a table with my big toe, I will kick you out.”

“So dramatic,” you scoff and roll your eyes. “Come on, please?”

Giving in to your requests seems second nature now, he realizes as his eyes slip shut, relying on nothing but the gentle hold you have on his hands and the sound of your voice. You do well in warning him about any possibility he might bump into something and Keiji’s trust in you solidifies – hell, they could be on the outskirts of an exploding volcano and he’d let you drag him around with a blindfold on. He can feel the nervousness rolling off you as you sit him down in his chair, hurriedly taking the seat across from him and adjusting yourself. “Okay, you can open your eyes.”

Keiji has to blink a few times to refocus his vision and chooses to ignore the way your teeth gnaw on your bottom lip for the plate in front of him. Two slices of beef wellington sit elegantly on the white porcelain, a glass of red wine in the top corner, and a set of a knife and fork on opposite sides. It looks straight out of a cookbook and he loves that you were right – he would be pleasantly surprised, and your hard work would certainly pay off.

But what makes the smile on his face form is the memory of you two discussing different cooking shows on the walk home from school one evening. You had asked him out of the blue if he watched anything cooking-related, and when he had listed some of the channels he watched from time to time, you rattled off a list of things you wanted to try making some day but never could with time constraints. Beef wellington had been one of those items, as well as a croquembouche, Totoro macarons, and others.

“Did you finally get to live out your Great British Bake Off dreams with the puff pastry?” Keiji jokes, lifting his utensils and beginning to cut through the meat. At his question, he realizes you must’ve been pounding out the slab of butter to be used when making puff pastry from scratch.

“That, and try to channel Gordon Ramsay for everything else,” you chuckle and watch him carefully as he chews on his first bite.

“This is really good, holy shit,” he murmurs and relief floods your system. “Are you sure this is your first time making it?”

“Yep!”

“I’m gonna have to get seconds later,” Keiji says, still slightly suspended in disbelief. You’re practically shaking in your seat from how well received the dish is.

“Try to save some room for the dessert wine later.”

“Oh, you bought some?”

“Yeah, they had the brand we like at the supermarket.”

“What’s the occasion?”

You ponder on that for a bit, trying to find the right words for it. What he didn’t know was that you caught the last half of his conversation on the phone with Tetsuro. At first, you felt a flare of anger when you put the pieces together and realized that Keiji had ratted out your location, almost storming out of the bathroom to give him a piece of your mind. But when you heard him defend and stand up for you, you faltered, hand hovering over the doorknob. Once again, he was holding your best interests at heart and risking potentially fraying his friendship with Tetsuro for you. It was exactly the kind of support you needed in that moment.

So you do what you’ve always done to show gratitude when it comes to Keiji: make something edible for him. In middle and high school, you felt that food was the least awkward thing you could give to him if he did something for you, considering that you felt you two weren’t very close. Permanent gifts were a touch too intimate, and you could always hide the fact that you were gifting him something under the pretense of wanting to give it to his mother instead. Any batch of cookies, muffins, palmiers, or pastries were mainly meant for him, saying thanks for walking home with you, driving you home, entertaining you during get-togethers, letting you win in Monopoly for once, and many more. That was something you originally planned to take to your grave since you figured that Keiji would find it weird or disturbing, but now…now seemed okay.

Just not this exact moment.

“To a new beginning,” you decide and lift up your glass, angling it towards him for cheers.

“To a new beginning,” he echoes. Keiji clinks his glass against you and you both take a sip, his eyes glimmering over the rim.

-

You are very tipsy. Borderline drunk. You honestly can’t remember the last time you got wine drunk, but somehow you just couldn’t stop drinking. If you had to give your best estimate, about 70% of the red wine had been consumed by you. And now that the dessert wine was open, you were nearing 60% of that as well.

Keiji sits on the opposite side of the couch from you, indulging you by letting you watch Ouran High School Host Club through some streaming service on his TV. It had been ages since he last saw anything from it, though he mainly focuses on your how far your inebriation is getting ahead of you. An hour ago, he had placed a cup of water by your side, though there was still half of it left. He wonders if he should be cutting you off soon, but you look too carefree and happy. And from experience, he knows that you could easily walk in a straight line if told to. It was an uncanny ability that you possessed, one that was somewhat showcased when you and Tetsuro showed up at a house party in college he just happened to also attend. Smashed overexaggerated your drunken state at the time, but the glossy look in your eyes now was very similar to that incident all those years ago.

The laugh that erupts from your chest as a result of Haruhi’s deadpan humor is slurred and lasts a little too long to be considered normal. Keiji feels his chest ease up when you reach for the water this time instead of the alcohol and chug it all down. He freezes when you turn towards him with a lazy smile spread across your face, but it turns into a pout when you hand him the now empty mug.

“Keiji-kun,” you mumble. “Please gimme more water?”

“You can’t get it yourself?” He taunts, chuckling when your pout intensifies.

“I don’t wanna acci-acc-accid-accidentally break the mug. You brought it from your parents’, right? I used this one all the time back then.”

“Mmm,” he hums, prying the porcelain from your hands and standing to comply with your request.

Not even a minute passes after he returns when you clumsily shift closer to him. He doesn’t even have to time to internally gasp when you lay down on your back and plop your head onto his thighs, his arms now slightly suspended in the air because he honestly has no idea what to do with them. The best he can come up with is resting one arm on the back of the couch, the other tentatively placed on top of your head. He fights the need to run his fingers through your hair, although knowing it would bring you some comfort as the world begins to blur. It takes everything in him to not look down, but he’s not absorbing anything from the anime. The sounds fall short to the pounding in his ears, and the only time he can remember being this nervous was their last volleyball match during Nationals.

“Thank you, Keiji.”

“Hm? For what?”

“…sticking up for me to Tetsu.”

“…didn’t your mother ever tell you it’s rude to eavesdrop?” Keiji attempts to digress, pinching the shell of your ear.

“It hurts!” You cry out, overstating the pain you felt. In his defense, he barely put any force behind it. “I just wanted to say thank you, ‘s all.”

“It was nothing, I—”

“You really think we’re friends?”

Keiji frowns. “I said that before, didn’t I? Did you ever think we weren’t?”

“Honestly…no, I didn’t,” you confess. It’ll be a miracle if you remember any of this tomorrow morning. “You always seemed so far away…there were a few times when I thought you maybe hated me, only tolerated me because you’d never hear the end of it from your mom if she ever caught you being mean to me. I mean, if you ever think about it…you never talked about yourself, y’know?”

Keiji pauses the TV, throwing the apartment into complete silence. He only hears your shaky breathing and the AC running.

“Anything I ever heard about you was from your mom because she’d tell my mom, and then my mom would gossip,” you continue, chuckling bitterly at the end. “I knew you, but did I really know you? It felt so weird, walking by you in school and knowing what you were struggling with. But then you’d just smile at me like nothing was wrong and that hurt.”

He’s been staring at the same frame for the last minute or so and feels more and more awful with every word that leaves your lips. Somehow it’s everything he’s wanted to hear for years, but it’s also so bittersweet and tragic. But the more important matter currently at hand is the sound of your sniffles. Oh god, are you crying? Keiji finally has a reason to look at you now, studying how a forearm is strewn across your eyes – but he can see the tear tracks and feel the dampness on his sweatpants as they slide down your face. He attempts to move the limb away but you resist as much as you can, though it doesn’t take much. Keiji reaches over and plucks out a tissue to help clean you up, trying to placate both you and the semblance of a heartbreak.

“I was always worried that you were just – hic – hiding your emotions, bottling them up inside until it’d burst one day. But then I had to – hic -- remind myself that you had other close friends to confide in. With how much you got along with your teammates, I figured they’d keep an eye on you…but I still worried a lot. I hoped that you’d finally open up during our family dinners someday. Instead, it took a break-up and me getting drunk.”

He’s frozen when you lift your hand to his face, the tips of your fingers barely ghosting over his jawline. The anguish in your eyes is palpable; he can’t help but broaden the contact, leaning into your palm until it’s cradling his cheek while maintaining eye contact with you.

“You were okay, right?” You whisper. “You could talk to Koutaro? Or Akinori?”

Keiji’s gaze softens considerably. He analyzes the drooping of your eyelids, how they fight to stay open until you receive a desirable answer from him. It’s incredibly touching how much you wanted to reach out to him during all those years, waiting, wishing, hoping. You were right – he did expose some of his more vulnerable moments to his teammates. But that doesn’t mean he didn’t have days where he ached to call you and spill every negative emotion he was feeling.

“I was okay, I promise,” Keiji reassures you, giving in to comb through your hair. “Thank you, (y/n), for caring about me.”

Your arm slowly drops from its hold and curls up against your chest. Even in your drunken state, you feel at peace, like the world has finally been lifted from your shoulders. It’s the answer that you’ve been silently searching for all this time, the unknown stewing and festering in the back of your mind.  

“I’m…glad…���

Keiji observes as you fall asleep and your breaths even out. With a heavy sigh, he gathers you into his arms bridal-style, hoping that the jostling doesn’t wake you up. Just like last night, he tucks you into bed, though not without leaving a gentle press of his lips against your temple.

The futon is cold and lonely. He’s really starting to not like it very much.

-

Wednesday and Thursday fly by so fast that he wonders if he accidentally time-traveled into Friday. Before he knows it, you’re rolling your suitcase out of his bedroom and towards his front door. As you slip on your shoes, your mind rattles off the locations of your important things: phone, wallet, keys, passport, driver’s license, and more. You turn back to look at your gracious host, shooting him your most appreciative smile.

“Thank you for everything this past week, Keiji. You don’t know how much it means to me, and I promise I’ll pay you back somehow.”

“I was happy to have you, and you’ve done more than you needed to in trying to pay me back. Are you sure you don’t need me to drop you off at the airport?”

“I couldn’t impose on you any longer,” you wave off. “An Uber will do just fine.”

“You’ll let me know when you’re there? When you get back to your apartment?”

“Yes, mother,” you poke fun at him, laughing at the way he rolls his eyes.

“I’ll let that one pass for now. Remember, you can call me anytime, okay? About anything, it doesn’t matter. Just don’t be a stranger.”

“I’ll remember that. See you around then?”

“See you around. Be safe.”

Neither of you make a move, not until Keiji steps forward to wrap you in a tight embrace. You do your best to return it ounce of ounce, bundling the back of his shirt in your fists. The last seven days have been pivotal to your friendship and you’ll never forget everything he’s done for you. Minutes pass, neither wanting to pull back until you can’t anymore, needing to meet the Uber outside. Keiji doesn’t have the heart to walk you all the way to the main entrance of the apartment complex, and you don’t force him.

Sitting in the airplane back to Sapporo is much less nerve-wracking than you originally predicted. You already have a list in mind of how to clear things out with Tetsuro, what steps you two need to take to make this split as seamless as possible. Various apartment listings had been bookmarked over the last couple of days, units big enough for just one person rather than two. The wound is still somewhat fresh, but scabs have already begun to form. You have Keiji to thank for in this process of healing.

As promised, you update him whenever you can, the final notice sent when you stand outside the door of your and Teturo’s apartment. It’s impossible for the nerves to not strike you now, even more so as you slowly unlock the door. The work shoes to the side of the doorway indicates that he is home, probably passed out in bed after a long shift. You quietly pad around the unit while putting some of your stuff away, though leaving the suitcase in the living room for now. When you step into the bedroom, Tetsuro is curled up on your side of the mattress, breathing deeply and soundly.

Two months ago, you would have peppered his face with kisses, demanding that he give you enough room to cuddle next to him. He would have opened his arms willingly, trapping you effectively in his new cage and you would’ve never thought of wanting to escape from him. So much has changed now, you think as you sit on the edge. You believe your action was subtle, but he stirs from his asleep, addressing the fact that you have returned. There is no screaming or crying, no tears or pleading. Instead, he shifts closer to give you an awkward hug around your waist while still laying on his side. It’s not the kind of hug that says, “Welcome home,” or “I miss you”, though.

It says, “I’m sorry,” and the placement of your hand on his embrace replies, “It’s okay.”

-

2 years later

Keiji likes this new routine with you.

For the last year and a half, you two schedule a weekly video call to catch up with each other. He likes this because he can watch you pull yourself together, adjust to the new life without Tetsuro. He gets to hear all the work stories that the other stopped bothering to pay attention to, no longer waiting for your next Snapchat or Instagram story update. Keiji’s at the friendship level now where he knows something has happened before you even post the photo. Sometimes you both cook together, finding a recipe that you’ll want to try. Other times you might just want to watch an episode or two of a show that’s caught both of your interests, swearing to each other that you’ll avoid spoilers or watching ahead.

It’s not the kind of relationship he truly wants with you, but it’s close enough and he’d be a fool to not take it.

Last week, you had to miss the video call, saying that your boss dropped a massive project onto your desk. You were going to be pulling overtime, and Keiji reminds you to take the necessary breaks. Texting is sparse and he feels the worry exponentially grow – were you pushing yourself too hard? Were you eating foods other than convenience store bentos and onigiris? Were you getting enough sleep at night?

His phone blares your custom ringtone from his kitchen counter and Keiji practically lunges for it, quickly picking up and holding the phone to his ear.

“Hello?”

“Have you had dinner yet?”

What is this feeling of déjà vu?  “I was about to start cooking something up just now, why? Are you okay?”

“Yeah, I’m fine. I was so busy, I’m sorry we didn’t get to talk last week. What about you?”

“I’m good, everything’s normal. Where are you?”

“I’m on my way home. By the way, I bought you a gift. They said it got delivered not a few minutes ago.”

“Really? That’s weird, the front desk usually notifies me as soon as they get it. But you shouldn’t have.”

“Consider it an early birthday present,” he hears and relishes in the warmth your words bring. “Why don’t you go downstairs and check?”

“I guess I can. Stay on the phone with me?”

“Of course.”

“What’d you get me?”

“What’s the point in me telling you when you’re about to open it in a few minutes?”

“Well,” Keiji starts and wrenches open the door. “I—”

He stops in his tracks, voice caught in his throat. You stand sheepishly before him, phone still at your ear as you drink in his stunned expression. Keiji doesn’t get taken by surprise very often, and you wish you had a camera for this moment. Koutaro would’ve loved it.

“Hey there,” he hears from you and through the speaker, a slight delay between the two phrases as his mind grasps at the situation.

“Why are you here?” He asks, hanging up and letting you in. Keiji hopes it doesn’t sound as rude as it might’ve come across. Like a gentleman, he takes your jacket and allows you enough space to take off your shoes.

“They’re doing renovations at my new apartment so I can’t really move in yet…I was wondering if I could stay here for a few days?”

Wait, new apartment? “Are you moving back to Tokyo?”

Excitement isn’t enough to describe the pure feeling of joy that runs through his veins when you nod. This is what you must have been so busy dealing with, packing everything up and scheduling a small moving van. All you have is your purse and a large suitcase, meaning that the rest of your belongings must still be en route.

“You can stay for as long as you need to. Take the bed, I can—”

“Actually, I lied. Not about moving to Tokyo,” you quickly defend when he seems to bristle at your words. “There aren’t any renovations and the rest of my stuff is coming tomorrow…but I purposely booked a ticket to get here today. You’re the first person I wanted to see.”

Not your parents, not some of your other friends. Him. You wanted to come and see him first before anyone else. The tone in your confession holds so much weight, a fondness in them that’s too intimate for someone who was just a friend. This was your way of trying to let him know that there was something more going on, but you were afraid that he would reject you. The ball was in his court now, and it was entirely up to him to decide how to proceed.

No one knows you better than him. No one is in tune or in sync with you as much as he is. It’s terrifyingly thrilling, but you want this. You want him.

So he takes one stride forward, cradles your face between his hands, and crashes his lips onto yours with a searing passion that’s been kept under lock and key for far, far too long. It’s perfect, you smile to yourself. But most of all…

It feels like home.

Bonus (a week later):

[Konoha]: hey, kou, is keiji dating anyone????

[Bokuto]: not that I know of??? why???

[Konoha]: apparently he just rsvp’d to my wedding and said he’s bringing a plus one??? i’m so confused, why wouldn’t he tell us??

[Bokuto]: did your fiancée see a name anywhere?

[Konoha]: hang on, she’s checking.

[Konoha]: oh shit.

[Konoha]: OH SHIT.

[Konoha]: HOLY FUCKING SHIT WHAT THE FUCK

[Bokuto]: WHO IS IT YOU BETTER TELL ME RIGHT NOW

[Konoha]: HE’S BRINGING FUCKING (Y/N) JESUS FUCKING CHRIST

[Bokuto]: ABOUT GODDAMN TIME

[Konoha]: YOU OWE ME 5000 YEN, PAY UP

[wolf-zer0]

Ya want some WORLD-BUILDING????

Have some world-building!

*REMINDER* This is based on characters, not real people.  I’m not going to be writing any shipping/smut content, especially involving minors.  Please be respectful of content creators’ boundaries!

The Crystallos Empire (AKA the Antarctic Empire)

Largest the countries (takes up most of the southern half of the map) but agreed to stop expansion after a bloody battle with Valeriana 

Centered on a large snowy mountain in the middle of the tundra 

Mostly stays out of other countries’ business, but will step in as a last resort 

Has some of the most well-known citizens in the world because… they’re pure chaos 

Attack at your own peril 

Has vast deposits of ores and gemstones, and the metalwork from Crystallos (mainly weaponry, armor, and jewelry) is highly sought after 

The only known food export is potatoes.  Wonder why… 

Associated Colors: Royal blue, light blue, crimson, gold 

Aesthetic/Vibes: gothic vibes, white stone and large stain glass windows, not particularly opulent or extravagant but still impressively royal looking, think catholic cathedral but brighter and with less Jesus (can you tell I’m a recovering catholic yet?), spires shooting into the sky that’s visible even during a blizzard, cavernous halls full of sunlight and echoes, snow that can comfort and kill in equal measure

Notable Members:

Philza Minecraft:

Angel

Visible wings look like a harpy eagle

Probably the most powerful person in the world

Didn’t mean to start an empire it kinda just happened

Also didn’t mean to adopt kids but his Dadza alarm went off

Usually kind but will not hesitate to use violence when necessary

Technoblade: 

Is pig.  

With braid.  

At least 8 feet all

Extremely adept fighter, skilled in almost every form of combat.  

Not a people pig, prefers his potato farm to being a prince

Hella protective of his family but will not hesitate to bully when given the opportunity

Wilbur Soot: 

Muse who can influence people through song

Can’t totally control people (yet) but can subtly push them in a certain direction

The public face of the imperial family

Would rather insult than fight but can and will cut a bitch if he needs to

Because inspiration is fickle he’ll have some … strange episodes (see: the Sand Incident)

Tommy Innit: 

Child.  

Chaos incarnate.

Is he human?  Is he not?  No one’s sure yet.  

But he’s a gremlin and a hellion and willing to throw down at any moment.  

Has a surprisingly caring side, but no one outside his immediate circle has ever really seen it.  

The Kingdom of Valeriana (aka Dream SMP)

Oldest of the countries 

Located in the middle of a massive forest at the center of the main continent 

Home of the Fae Courts

Ruled by a single king who is chosen by a tournament held every 100 years 

Known for causing chaos in other countries, but after an Incident with Crystallos they have kept their meddling to annoyances rather than outright declarations of war 

Considered the most magical of all the countries, and traditional enchantments almost all come from Valeriana 

Associated Colors: neon green (duh), bright yellow, forest green, light brown, blood red (more saturated than Crystallos), rose gold 

Aesthetic/Vibes: spooky art nouveau (idk what else to call it), lots of plants and nature but with an edge of danger, poison gardens and carnivorous plants, hedge mazes that lead everywhere and nowhere, laughter deep in the forest, deer with eyes just a hair too human, Alice in Wonderland on steroids 

Notable Members: 

Dream: 

Current king of the Fae

As long as he’s touching the ground, he knows where everything and everyone is

Can terraform

Unlimited in the boundaries of his kingdom

Much more limited outside of his realm

No one has ever seen what he really looks like, even before he took the throne

Since people outside the kingdom don’t know who he is, he’ll wander the outside world and challenge random people to fights

Never says what happens to the losers

Only one person has ever beaten him: Technoblade

He might have a lil obsession around Techno, but it’s fine.  

A little competition is healthy.

Sapnap:  

High Lord of the Summer Court

Dream’s right hand man

Likes fire a little too much probably

George: 

Human that Dream took a liking too and yoinked from the mortal world

Dream and Sapnap made him immortal but he hasn’t realized it yet.  

Skeppy: 

Changeling who started growing diamond-like scales across his body

Is vaguely allied with Dream simply because he’s Fae, but is more loyal to BBH

Like a lot of other Fae, likes to make challenges but he makes them less deadly.  Not totally safe, just less deadly.

Badboyhalo: 

Demon who was kicked out of hell because he was too nice

Found Skeppy in the Overworld and the rest is history

Cursed by the Demon King that the moment he says a swear word, the entire world would end, but can never tell anyone that he is cursed

The Merchant’s Guild

Not quite a country, more of a international power 

Oversees the largest and most important businesses in the world 

Makes sure that no laws are broken between different countries and everyone gets a fair shake 

Has a very large reach, so some members have dabbled in espionage for various groups 

From the outside it looks like the whole thing is kept together with duct tape and hope, but its actually pretty functional

The main members are just… a lot. 

More concerned with keeping things working than influencing other nations (although there are still jokes about it) 

The most valuable thing they trade in is information

They have a lot of fingers in a lot of pots, but are trusted with their information 

Associated Colors: dark blue, teal, deep yellow, burnt orange, copper

Aesthetic/Vibes: art deco babie, angles and lines, very modern and streamlined, sleek suits instead of armor or robes, whiskey in a crystal glass, wars won by words not weapons, knowing when someone’s lying without them saying a word

Notable Members:

Schlatt: 

Ram-man with a plan

Not that bad of a dude, but is in a position where he is constantly in possession of highly sensitive information and that does things to someone’s mental state

Drinks pretty regularly but not a full blown alcoholic

Trying his best

Can be a snarky asshole sometimes

Quackity: 

Lucky duck.  literally.  

Duck man with an uncanny ability to absorb good luck from people (typically Fundy) and apply it to himself

No one knows when or why he joined the guild, but now he’s there

Pretty damn smart, but hides it behind humor

Fundy: 

FOX!  

With BEANS!

Trying his goddamn best but life (and Quackity) make it very difficult

Usually is stuck with the shit end of the stick when getting jobs/contracts/etc. 

Wilbur being his dad is an inside joke that’s gotten a life of its own.  

(No Fishfuckers Allowed!!!)

Puffy: 

Badass sheep lady who captains a ship and commands her own armada

Schlatt’s sister

Also part of Storm’s Landing’s council and acts as the main liaison between them 

Do not fuck with her she will kick your ass.

Storm’s Landing

Port city that became a country after becoming a safe-haven for seafarers

Led by a council of important people, with the head of the council known as the Admiral 

Closest ties to Crystallos and the Merchant’s guild because: 

1) Clingy supremacy!!!!

2) it’s a good idea for a guild to have good ties with a large sea power

3) all the dads for Tubbo

Associated Colors: navy blue, scarlet, white, brass 

Aesthetic/Vibes: Nautical (obviously) with heavy “Age of Exploration” vibes, barnacles crusted on treasure chests, think tall ships and pirates and shit, respecting the ocean because holy shit she’s gonna smash your boat to pieces on a whim because she can, has an edge of darkness because when you go deep enough who knows what you’ll find down there (maybe mermaids???) 

Notable Members:

CaptainSparklez: 

elected to Admiral after the previous Admiral went missing on a routine voyage 

(idk who it used to be, I just wanted to make him new at leading)

not 100% sure about the whole thing, but handling it pretty okay

still answers to “Captain” instead of “Admiral”.  

Niki:

If Storm’s Landing had a queen, would be it unquestionably

Never gets robbed even though there’s a well known “underbelly” in town

Could probably end wars with her croissants

Has a significant history of empathic abilities in her family, so she can tell how people are feeling at all times

Eret: 

Owns a magic store in town that really only shows itself to people who need it.  

Having a bad mental health day?  

He’s got a warm blanket and a cup of your favorite warm beverage waiting.  

Dysphoric?  

She’s got the perfect outfit and affirming words already prepared.  

Trying to find that specific book but can’t remember the title or plot, only vaguely know the color of the cover?  

They’ve got it.  

Ranboo:  

Not sure why he decided to move to a seaside city when he’s not chill with water, but now he’s here and he’s too anxious to leave

Known for teleporting around town randomly when nervous, and the people who find him are always willing to let a hand if he gets lost

Tubbo: 

This boi!  Has so many dads!  

Epitome of “Kindness does not equal weakness.”  

While a lot of people underestimate him, he’s not some fragile little flower

He hasn’t fully grown into his ability to speak to animals (he can only understand bees right now)

He’s just as much of a shit stirrer as Tommy.  

When they meet up, look out.  Something’s getting destroyed.

The Astral Academy

An independent university focused on advancing knowledge in the arcane arts and engineering 

Not a country, but has the political power of one due to their vast resources and building prowess 

People can’t enter unless they are invited or have been given entry as a student 

There are a bunch of potential doors scattered around the continent that could lead to the Academy, but no one is sure where the real entrance is 

Associated Colors: royal purple, lilac, sepia, sky blue, silver, bronze Aesthetic/Vibes: bright academia, massive libraries with bookshelves stuffed to bursting, workshop benches covered in scrap and prototypes, open air observatories, runes waiting to be translated, the crackling energy that comes from successful collaboration, falling down a research rabbit hole, bursting with pride after a project is a success

Notable Members: 

Sam

Purpled

Ponk

Punz

Antfrost

Jack Manifold

I don’t know much about these characters, so if you have any ideas please let me know!

Zero’s OC Land - The North Haven

Smallest and newest country 

Recently gained independence from under a cruel dictator (not schlatt lol)

Located in a pine forest at the base of a huge mountain range 

Has pretty good relations with the other countries, but outsiders don’t know much about them 

Main exports are wood carvings and leather goods 

Associated Colors: Maroon, dark brown, black, pewter 

Aesthetic/Vibes: medieval but with a modern twist, dark wood lit by a roaring fireplace, snow-covered woods without a living soul in sight, half timber houses and detailed wood carving, no outrageous ornamentation or extravagance 

Notable Members:

Tyr: 

Lord of the North Haven

trying to keep his people safe and protected

one of the few remaining Spirits (higher in power than the Fae, but lower than angels)

Spirit of Justice

lost a hand in the war for North Haven’s independence

didn’t want to become the leader but does a pretty good job at it

Adopted 5 kids and is trying his best

Bragi: 

Heir Apparent

24 year old human

can influence the world by speaking (not singing) but has to be careful about which words he uses

has a book full of phrases that have proven effects (a spellbook of sorts)

has a friendly rivalry with Wilbur

Freya: 

Spymaster

actually the oldest but abdicated because she feels she’s not the right person to lead a country

age unknown because she’s the last known [REDACTED] (it’ll be revealed, but I wanna build suspense)

has gyrfalcon wings and heightened senses

chronic insomniac

Forseti: 

Official Librarian

20 years old

hybrid with an unknown entity

has black fingers with sharp claws

always wears gloves to hide them

can create portals to places he’s been or to people he knows (the second is much riskier, but not impossible)

knowledge sponge

wants to join the Astral Academy but is too nervous to apply

Odin: 

Older Twin

The “Sensible One”

17 years old

Has an uncanny sense of direction

Can’t get lost no matter what

Can manipulate magnetic fields

Loki:

Younger Twin

The “Hot Headed One”

17 years old

can manipulate fire

idolizes his older siblings, particularly Freya

The Institute

Creeping around in the background

Up to bad things

Something’s going on in the world, but no one’s noticed yet

They will though… soon

Aesthetic/Vibes: minimalism (the worst kind of vibes imo), think laboratories or empty hospitals, harsh artificial lights and cold floors, labyrinths of monotonous hallways with no doors

[derivativealigner]

Well I haven’t watched sp all the way through for about a decade now, so I thought it was time

Sometimes I wonder how accurate the fandom is when it comes to how we interpret the characters. Like, why is Stan a football star so often in fanfic and why’s Kyle always the smart one? So I thought I’d rewatch the show and make notes along the way to see where the source of all these interpretations is. I also wanted to see if I could get some fun info to analyze, but season 1 is pretty sparse in that regard so there’s not too much of that in this post, but I’ll make a post for all the other seasons too as I watch them

In summary, it’s established in season 1 already that Stan’s a star quarterback and an animal lover, Kyle’s an A+ student, and Kenny is poor and knows a lot about sex and doesn’t have many qualms about doing crazy shit. Cartman is a bit weird since he’s mostly just a naive brat in this season, but he and Kyle have a mildly antagonistic friendship already

I have all my notes under this cut. They include a bunch of small details and other observations. I also listed every Kenny death just because

Ike has freckles

Cartman says “Weak!” and “You guys” and “Seriously” a lot from the start, also “Kickass!” He doesn’t say weak or kickass much in the later seasons iirc

Stan says “Dude, this is pretty fucked up right here” three times in this season but they dropped that catchphrase pretty quickly

Bebe got named in episode 2

Stan’s been an animal lover since s01e03 Volcano since he won’t shoot a bunny or anything else. He does shoot Scuzzlebutt at the end though

Cartman’s a pathological liar but in a childish way

Randy got named in s01e03 Volcano (and it only got worse from there)

The mayor went to Princeton

South Park is next to Mt. Evanson

Kenny will literally drink gasoline

Stan’s a star quarterback in 3rd grade

Clyde’s voice is wrong as hell in S01E04 Big Gay Al’s Big Gay Boat Ride and he has a dog, Rex

Garrison says Kyle is an A+ kid

Shelly seriously abuses Stan, punching him, throwing him, maiming him with a lawnmower

Cartman had a pot-bellied pig called Fluffy

Cartman’s mom smokes crack and has sex with strange men

Dr. Mephesto is probably a Buddhist since he says “Thank Buddha” instead of “Thank God”

Clyde’s voice gets kind of fixed in S01E06

A guy called Mr. McCormick is killed in a protest, launched and splattered against a network building. He doesn’t look like Kenny’s dad though

Zombie Clyde attacks Bebe, rude

Wendy gave her costume contest prize (2 tons of candy) to hungry children in Nairobi

Cartman’s mom is on the cover of Crack Whore magazine. “Back do’ ho… Five on one action!” is the headline

Cartman genuinely cries at Kenny’s grave after the whole zombie thing but gets over it because of candy

Stan knows his mom’s credit card number and has no problem using it to adopt an Ethiopian child (the boys wanted a watch that came with the adoption, they weren’t doing it to be nice)

Cartman calls Stan a vas deference, Stan doesn’t know what that is so Kenny says “Dude, it’s a pipe for your peepee” (according to a transcript). Kenny sure knows male anatomy

Kyle sniffs Kenny after Cartman asks why poor people smell like sour milk and Garrison says “idk eric they just do”

Cartman thinks poor people should die and decrease the surplus population

When the boys get Starvin’ Marvin delivered to them, Cartman says “Hey mom, we found an Ethiopian, can we keep him?” and his mom says “Sure, hun.” She rarely says no to Cartman

Kenny’s dad is an alcoholic who drinks scotch according to Cartman. I mean, Mr. McCormick is seen drinking in multiple episodes and has a hat that says SCOTCH so it’s probably true

Kenny’s family says grace

Craig’s first appearance is S01E09. Also, S01E09 is the first time Kenny doesn’t die (Coincidence? I THINK yeah but it’s still fun)

Clyde got named in S01E10

Clyde and Bebe both spit on Pip’s face, friendship goals <3

Cartman and Kyle have their first fight at Cartman’s birthday party because Kyle didn’t give the right gift. Cartman slaps his face and  screams “I hate you! I want you to die! Die!” while on top of Kyle who’s not really fighting back

Satan throws a fight with Jesus after everyone except Satan bet that Jesus would lose, which leads to Satan winning everyone’s money. Mr. Garrison says “What a mean thing to do!” and Jimbo says “He is a jerk!” and I thought it was quite a laugh so I wrote it down

In S01E11 Tom’s Rhinoplasty Bebe and Wendy are sitting in the swings together and generally appear together throughout the episode, then Bebe gives Wendy a makeover so they’re bffs obviously <3

Craig first appears in the classroom, though not sitting down, in S01E11

Wendy’s not happy about Ms. Ellen taking Stan away from her, she says “Don’t fuck with me! Stay away from my man, bitch, or I’ll whoop your sorry ho ass back to last year!”

Kenny gives Ms. Ellen a scrumptious looking sausage as a valentine’s gift and giggles deviously. Wendy’s gift to Ms. Ellen is a dead animal

Even Kenny doesn’t know what a lesbian is

Wendy’s grandma died in S01E11

Wendy gets Ms. Ellen killed by hiring the Iraqi government (?) to put her in a rocket and shoot it into the sun, then she and Bebe have a pool party (very cool, they wear sunglasses 😎) and watch the rocket hit the sun

Cartman and Pip play a game of kicking each other in the nuts until someone falls. Cartman calls it “Roshambo”

Kenny has a sack of marbles

The boys aren’t fans of Barbra Streisand, but Stan is a fan of the Denver Broncos quarterback John Elway (he’s not a quarterback anymore, he’s an American football executive and the president of football operations for the Denver Broncos of the NFL according to wikipedia.)

Officer Barbrady is a fan of Fiona Apple (who was 20 at the time and had only one album released called Tidal)

Ned knows how to pilot a helicopter

Kyle’s mom is a fan of Streisand unlike literally everyone else, she even gets an autograph from Mecha Streisand

The boys are fans of Robert Smith, the lead singer of The Cure. Stan says “Robert Smith is the greatest person that ever lived!” and Kyle says “Disintegration is the best album ever!” and Cartman says “Robert Smith kicks ass!” and Kenny’s dead so he doesn’t get to have an opinion

Cartman has tea parties with his toys: Polly Prissypants, Clyde frog, Peter Panda, and a dragon called Rumpertumskin

Kyle wants to make fun of Cartman for the tea party but Stan stops him because he’s concerned that Cartman needs help

Craig is in front of the school counselor’s office in S01E13

A young miss Cartman drinks like a motherfucker at the 12th annual drunken barn dance where Cartman was supposedly conceived

Stan lets Cartman borrow his bike like a good friend

Garrison wanted to have a threesome with Chef and Cartman’s mom. I don’t know why I’m making a note of this but uh… yeah.

Cartman’s mom has had sex with everyone at this bar that Garrison’s drinking at, including principle Victoria, the mayor, Father Maxi, and Jesus (and maybe Kenny’s dad since he’s at the bar but the camera doesn’t pan to him when Garrison says they’ve all slept with Liane). Later Gerald Broflovski is a possible father to Eric, so he fucked her too. Also Mr. Mephesto and his friend Kevin, that little guy, are candidates along with a lot of other people, including the 1989 Denver Broncos (and Mr. Tenorman is included in that later)

Cartman doesn’t make fun of Kyle for being Jewish much at all in this season even though the Christmas episode is all about Kyle not celebrating

Clyde and Token appear very early on and Clyde has always been in the classroom (along with Bebe, Red, Kevin Stoley, Wendy, and Pip and uhh DogPoo too I think). Craig appears later in the season and Tweek’s not in season 1 at all, so Craig’s gang isn’t really a thing yet

And here’s a list of the ways Kenny died in this season. He dies in every episode except episode 9, and he dies twice in episodes 2 and 3. Altogether he dies 14 times

S01E01 Killed after alien shoots him, cows stampede over him, then cop runs him over which finally actually kills him

S01E02 Killed in a play by a falling teepee, then a second time shot by Garrison which sends him in the air and he gets impaled on a flagpole on the way down

S01E03 Killed by a volcano rock that burns him then rolls on him but he’s alive again in the end but gets shot by Ned’s gun that he drops and it accidentally goes off

S01E04 Gets his arms and head torn off in an American football game

S01E05 Stan’s clone punches Kenny into a microwave where he gets cooked alive

S01E06 Death touches Kenny

S01E07 Kenny gets crushed by a Russian space station and turns into a zombie because he gets Worcestershire sauce in his veins, then Kyle chainsaws zombie Kenny in half, then zombie Kenny rises from his grave and is crushed by a statue and a plane

S01E08 Kenny is killed by a bunch of turkeys. His eye gets plucked out. It’s dark blue

S01E10 After Kenny gets turned into a duck-billed platypus, Jimbo and Ned shoot him

S01E11 Ms. Ellen throws a sword through Kenny’s face

S01E12 While Mecha Streisand and a giant robot Leonard Maltin fight, Kenny plays with a tetherball and gets the rope wrapped around his neck and it strangles him

S01E13 Kenny gets stuck on a go kart and it drags him around but stops and he’s still alive! Too bad the go kart stops on train tracks and a train runs him over. Stan’s grandpa sends a video of the event to America’s Stupidest Home Videos and wins $10,000

If you read all that, first of all hello. I’m not new to the fandom even though this is the first thing I’ve posted on this tumblr blog. I’ve been writing a fanfic called Caffetamine though so I’m not a complete non-entity. Anyway, I’ll watch season 2 soon and post my notes on that too probably.

[amintyworld]

Secrets - Dream SMP Drabble

WATERFALL (Part one)    SUNSET (Part two)

A/N: Part 3 is finally here! So, bit of a update - this is indeed NOT the final part as I had planned, since there’s so much I want to cover about my own little backstory about two these two lovebirds, including how they get to the SMP. So, more parts to come, be on the lookout! Also, if you haven’t already, links to the two other parts should be above, please check them out if you’d like! Anyway, as always, enjoy!

TW: Arguing, secrets, surprise pregnancy, miscommunication, vomiting, cursing, roughhousing, injury (Not vv bloody tho). (Let me know if I need to tag anything else!)

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“Alright boys, get down here, breakfast is ready!” Philza heard scampering and thudding footsteps on the stairs as both Tommy and Tubbo raced to the table, smiling and laughing all the way. Wilbur walked down next, the only one out of their pajamas as he sat with his notebook in front of him, scribbling ideas, notes, and lyrics. Technoblade was last, not exactly the morning person of the group, as he passed by his two younger siblings and ruffed their hair lovingly before sitting down with a yawn. Phil quickly set eggs in front of each of them, a warm loaf of bread at the center the baker delivered early in the morning. Techno murmured a sleepy ‘thanks’ as Philza set down a cup of coffee with his plate, and Wilbur got up to grab some orange juice for him and Tubbo, leaving it out so Tommy could pour his own as he insisted.

It was a nice feeling in the mornings with his boys, sitting and eating a nice breakfast as the sun began to rise over the horizon. Philza mused over just how much changed over the last few years - they adopted Tubbo, Technoblade and Wilbur were becoming adults - but yet, things still felt the same. The little family was silent as they ate, enjoying each other’s company as the world began to wake up just outside their windows.

Tubbo, to Philza’s relief, was not as chaotic as the rest of his siblings and was all around a responsible and kind soul - at least when he was alone. When Philza walked inside to Tommy and Tubbo covered head to toe in bee stings due to ‘showing dominance over the bees so they’ll be our pets’, he learned quickly that the two younger brothers together would spur on all kinds of trouble. Luckily, he was used to it from the elder two when they were around Tommy and Tubbo’s age. Philza chuckled remembering when Techno and Wilbur tried to corner that parrot to only run home with nothing but a bunch of scratches, bruises, and covered in feathers - he’d snapped a picture before they both cleaned up, both pink from embarrassment.

“So, I’ll be off today checking in and fixing up the garden, going into town for a while, and then going fishing if I have the time. I should be home by around sunset, though.” Philza declared, taking a swig of his morning coffee.

“Me and Tubbo are gonna go find Mothman and catch a couple of pet bees,” Tommy said. As Philza opened his mouth to respond, Tubbo interrupted. 

“We’ll take our swords and be back by sunset.” Tubbo finished. “And we’ll make sure to follow the path and not get lost.” 

Philza chuckled. “Good.” He smiled. 

“Techno and I were gonna train for a bit - I think I’m getting close to beating him.” Wilbur said, and a loud ‘HA’ erupted from his older brother.

“You wish,” Techno smirked. “The day you beat me one on one is the day I give up eating potatoes.” The pig hybrid did love himself a baked potato, and Philza knew that all too well. Chatter spurred on amongst the family, and Philza just smiled, taking in the moment. 

-----------------------------------

“Jeez, is Techno some kind of mega pig demon?” Sally said, sitting cross-legged on the floor of her treehouse, across from Wilbur who looked a little worse for wear. “He went way too rough with you.”

“He didn’t mean to, he just got carried away.” Wilbur defended. “He felt really bad after, I kept telling him it was fine.” Wilbur let out a soft curse as the disinfectant soaked cloth ran over a particularly deep cut on his forehead, and Sally rubbed circles on the top of his hand in a loving gesture. 

“Wil, it’s not fine, you got really hurt.” Sally’s tone turned serious, and Wilbur intertwined their fingers together.

“You’re scared.”

“No shit I am!” Sally yelled angrily before she took a deep breath to calm herself, continuing.. “Wilbur, sure you’re fine now but what if you got worse, and he didn’t stop? What if you got really hurt?”

“I know, I didn’t mean to worry you.” Wilbur gently squeezed her hand. “I promise we’ll be more careful.” 

Sally placed a bandage on the cut on his forehead and planted a soft kiss on it. “Thank you.” Wilbur cracked a smirk as she faced him fully again. 

“How bad’s the damage?”

Sally smiled back. “Just some bruises and cuts, a few days of healing and you’ll be fine. Don’t worry, you still look handsome.”

“Good thing, too,” Wilbur said jokingly. “My face and my guitar’s all I got going for me.”

“Oh please, Beanie Boy.” Sally smiled as she moved to cuddle closer to him, and his arms wrapped around her until they were both comfortable against the wall, Sally’s head leaned against Wilbur’s chest, the girl all too careful in her movements to make sure she didn’t hurt her boyfriend’s many bruises. “Did you win, at least?”

“He called a draw,” Wilbur said. “But, I did manage to use that weapon snatching tactic you taught me.” He laughed a bit. “He totally freaked.”

“Good,” Sally chuckled. “Someone’s gotta keep that pig on his toes.” Sally felt Wilbur shift a bit as he tensed. “You okay?”

“Yeah, just sore,” Wilbur said. “Why do I have a feeling I’m gonna regret most of the fight in the morning?” They both chuckled at the comment.

“I’m sorry, Do you want me to kiss it better?” Sally asked, looking up to her boyfriend in time to see a slight telltale pink on his cheeks. He nodded as Sally shifted to sit up more and began leaving some kisses along his arms wherever she saw a bruise, before leaning in to give him a soft peck on the lips where a small bruise was beginning to form.

“It’s almost sunset, I gotta get home or Phil will kill me,” Wilbur said, before tucking a long piece of hair behind her ear. “I’ll be back tomorrow, though.”

“Good, someone’s gotta help me refill my stash of supplies,” Sally said, smirking. “I’m all out of beetroot for bruise cream, if you haven’t heard.”

“Will do, my salmon,” Wilbur said, getting up, grabbing his sword, bag, and beanie before heading to the entrance.

“Be careful heading back, you’re still healing.”

“Gosh, you sound like Phil.” Wilbur chided sarcastically before Sally gave him a look. “I’ll be careful, I swear.” Wilbur pulled Sally in for a close embrace, pressing a tender kiss to her forehead. “I love you, my salmon.”

“Love you, Wilby.” At the rarely used nickname, Wilbur’s heart melted as he muttered a simple ‘bye’ and climbed down the ladder.

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Sally didn’t understand what was going on, and she was mostly kind of scared. Standing over a bucket and puking as the sun rose up was not exactly a great sign. Neither was the weird soreness. Maybe she had some kind of flu or something? Either way, one thing was for sure - she didn’t like this, at all. Being a survivor and runner for years on end, she prided herself for being pretty healthy and knowing a lot of good healing tips and tricks to not slow herself down. Now, she felt ashamed. Weak.

She hoped it was just the flu. Grimacing, she swallowed the medicine and took some water and a snack on her way out - She didn’t want to be late for work. Her hair was a bit of a mess and she chewed a bit of mint to disguise the bad breath she gained from this morning. She felt awful but pushed the feeling aside. It must just be a bug or something, had to be.

When she was old enough, she started looking for a job in town to get some money and not have to worry about hunting every night. Sure, Phil always had a spot for her at the table, but even Sally knew how much he was stretched to the limit feeding five. Luckily, she found a pretty cushiony job at the trade center - where she and a handful of others settled disputes over what was a fair trade and what wasn’t. 

As she worked she headed to steady herself every now and then when she felt sick or lightheaded. It just got worse as the days went on, and it got too much for her to ignore. She left early on sick leave and made a quick stop at the library before heading home, determined to figure out what was going on with her and fix it in whatever way possible. She settled in bed with some hot tea and opened the book: ‘Easy to Spot Ailments Hidden in Plain Sight’. At this point, she was fed up feeling horrible and just wanted it to end. Her head ached, her stomach churned with any bit of food she tried to get down. Her shaking hands flipped through the pages as she looked for what matched her list of symptoms in her head - Nausea, light-headedness, fatigue…

‘Pregnancy, in the early stages, is common to have morning sickness, fatigue, tender or sore muscles…’

Her eyes widened at the thought… pregnant…? She scanned the page intently and as it were - most of her symptoms she’d been suffering the past few weeks were right there. Her mind whirred with the thought of the possibility. Wilbur was still trying to find a job in town, and they haven’t even gotten their own space yet - they definitely were not ready. The shapeshifter’s thoughts turned to Wil - if it was really the case, how would he react? Maybe he’ll be done with her for good because of it, they took precautions but not enough, she didn’t do enough to stop herself from getting into this position. Wilbur wouldn’t be ready yet, she isn’t either - maybe he’ll ditch her for his own survival. 

She wouldn’t blame him. 

It took her a few moments to realize she was crying. Her head was clouded with so many doubts, fears and what ifs she didn’t even notice. She wiped her tears away. She needed to keep a clear head, she needed to stay calm. Maybe she wasn’t even pregnant, she had to check with the town healer to make sure. There was probably nothing to worry about anyway, and she’d have gotten so worked up over nothing!

Now, looking over the positive pregnancy test in the healer’s hut, all she could think was: ‘Shit.’

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Wilbur strummed a bit on his guitar as he sat cross-legged in his bed, Sally snuggled up in blankets next to him, humming constantly. “Have you been writing, Wil?”

“A bit.” Wilbur smiled. “Nothing concrete yet, I’m afraid.” Sally pouted slightly, her lower lip out just so, dramatic enough to make both of them laugh. “Sorry to disappoint, my number one fan. Maybe I could make it up by playing a song request…?”

“Love your songs, Wilby.” Sally said as she nuzzled to his side and he smiled.

“I know, my salmon.” Wilbur crooned as he planted a soft kiss on her forehead. “Now, what song do you wanna hear?”

“Hm… what about the pretty soft one?”

“You never remember the names, do you?” Wilbur joked as he checked and tuned up the instrument. Sally laughed.

“Never.” Sally said. “Luckily I don’t have to.” Wilbur began to strum a soft tune as he sang softly with the music, and Sally drank it all in with a smile, her heart feeling full.

“You and I

We’re different but somehow we fit.

And I promise you

No matter what, I’ll never quit.

Because you are the good days,

The tough days,

When I feel like I can’t breathe,

I love you, I hope you like me.”

Sally began to sing along as well, and when the song was done, Wilbur put his guitar down and cuddled Sally close. He wrapped his arms around her until she was completely comfortable and they both laid there, just content in each other’s arms. Though Wilbur could tell she was happy, he also could tell something else was up - she fidgeted every now and then, seemingly never comfortable. He knew her well enough to know when something was bothering her - the way her eyes focused too much on the blanket, lost in thought and her eyebrows furrowed were her telltale signs. “Okay, what’s on your mind?”

“Nothing’s on my mind, I’m just tired.”

“You’re fidgeting, you’re staring into space - did something happen at work?” Wilbur asked, concerned. “If anyone’s bothering you-”

“No, no. Nothing’s going on at work.” Sally said. “Really, I’m fine.”

“Are you sure?” Wilbur asked, and he couldn’t help but notice her hesitation.

“Yes…” She said before she looked around the room a bit, her body fidgeting more violently. “Where’s the bathroom again…?”

“Just down the hall.” Wilbur grew concerned as he noticed her shaking body rush out of the room. Did… did he do something wrong…? He heard the door quickly slam, and he couldn’t help but replay the events in his head over and over. Did he make her uncomfortable? Maybe he shouldn’t have tried to cuddle her, maybe he shouldn’t have said anything at all.

“You okay?” Wilbur looked up to see Philza standing in the doorway casually, looking a bit concerned. That’s when WIlbur noticed how hard he was gripping the blanket on the bed, staring off into space.

“Yeah, I’m fine. I dunno if she is, though.” Wilbur said.

“I heard the slam.” Philza stated. 

“Phil, how do you know if someone’s uncomfortable around you?” Wilbur asked, and Phil’s eyebrows furrowed in thought.

“I guess it depends on the person, sometimes you can tell by their body language... Why?”

“Sally’s been off, she’s not acting like herself. I’m worried about her, I know something’s causing her to be like this, and I dunno if it’s me.” Wilbur said honestly, and Philza’s face turned to a warm comforting smile.

“It’s not you, Wil. I know she loves you just as much as you love her.” Philza said, certain.

“If it’s not me…” WIlbur started. “Then what is it?”

“I don’t know, if I’m honest. But i wouldn’t worry too much over it, okay? I’m sure she’ll tell you what’s going on when she’s ready to.” Phil reassured him. As he told his son, he too tried to keep his worries at bay. He didn’t want to get in the middle of his son’s love life, but if something really bad was happening to the shapeshifter, Phil wanted to help.

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Philza tried to stay calm as the girl broke down into tears over the two words that spilled over her lips. Part of him wanted to scream, to scold… they were both in their early twenties, but Phil still saw them as kids, kids who didn’t know what to do and were too young to be parents yet. He was mad at them for not being careful, he was upset that Sally felt the need to hide it, and most of all he felt scared for both of them. For the first time in his life, Phil couldn’t protect them. He couldn’t just pull out his sword and fight it all and make all the monsters and scary things go away, and it scared him. He took a deep breath, closing his eyes for a second to process, before handing the crying girl a tissue, doing his best to calm her.

“Why didn’t you say anything?”

“I… I felt so ashamed that I let this happen, I-” Sally’s voice shook. “If Wilbur knew, he’d probably leave, I-”

“Hey.” Phil’s voice was stern but soft. “You couldn’t have done anything to prevent this, it isn’t your fault, okay?” Sally looked to the floor. Phil rubbed her trembling shoulders as a few moments of silence passed between the two. Phil looked firm. “You’ve gotta tell him.”

“No… no I can’t…” Sally said, images flashing through her head of his disgusted face, glaring at her coldy, telling her that if she really cared and respected him, loved him, she would have been more careful, telling her that he wasn’t willing to get dragged down into her mess, so she’ll just have to deal with it.

“Sally, he’s gonna figure it out eventually. Would it be better if you told him, or if he figured out you kept it from him too late?” Philza said.

“He’s done so much for me, I don’t want to burden him with this. He doesn’t deserve to pay for my mistake.” Sally said softly.

“But it’s not your mistake, it’s not ‘your’ anything, you can’t blame yourself for this.”

“Then who can I blame, Phil? Why did this happen, then?!” Sally snapped. “What am I supposed to do now… what can I do now?!” Silence once again engulfed the room as Phil sat and slowly took the shapeshifter’s hands in his.

“You know, when I figured out I was going to be a Dad, I was so scared. I was 22 with no stable job, moving from place to place, living off the land, that’s no way to raise a family.” Philza said, staring into space as he spoke, recalling the memory. “I learned a lot, then - like some things happen without a reason… bad things, but also really good things. Amazing things. And, I know that even now, I’m still scared about it all, but I know you’ll both get through it together just fine. You care too much about each other to let anything get in the way of that.” His gentle expression met hers. “What you’re gonna do now, is you’re going to breathe, finish your cup of tea, and relax. Then when Wilbur comes back from getting the honey with Tommy and Tubbo, you’re gonna look him in the eyes and tell him, even if you’re scared. Because as much as you’re afraid of losing him, he’s afraid of losing you, too.”

Sally swallowed thickly, nodding. “Then what?”

“Then, we’ll figure everything out together, okay?” Phil took his own tea cup in his hands and sipped, looking out the window as the sun began to set. Sally, with shaking breaths, sipped her tea as well as the two sat in a comfortable silence. When the door opened and shouts erupted from the hallway, Phil gave Sally’s hand one final squeeze before getting up and taking their empty tea cups to the kitchen. 

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“Go. Take your mind off everything for a bit.” Philza had told him as he practically pushed him out the front door. “You can’t just be anxious, worried and cooped up in your room over a girl. Take a break.” When he tried to protest, Philza put his hand up, silencing him. “Besides, Techno’s too busy today to go with them, and someone’s gotta make sure they get home in one piece. Enjoy yourself and have fun, okay?”

Now, sitting under the cover of a bush, all three of them - Wilbur, Tommy, and Tubbo - looked over toward the bee’s nest. “Okay, what’s the plan here?” Tubbo asked, and Tommy smiled, a plan already forming in his mind.

“Okay, so you lure all the bees out with some flowers, while Wilbur and I get the honey. If it backfires..” Tommy hit his fist against his hand. “We’ll hit ‘em with Plan B.”

“What’s Plan B..?” WIlbur asked curiously.

“Well, it's a highly complicated-” Tubbo began.

“-and a simplistic plan that has always gotten us out of trouble so far.” Tommy said, which did not do much to help Wilbur’s new worries over Plan B.

Tubbo picked a huge pile of lilies and daisies and nervously walked closer while Tommy gave him a thumbs up from behind the bush. “You got this, Bee Whisperer!” He hashly said softly, while Wilbur looked over to him. 

“Are you sure this is safe?” WIlbur said, looking over at Tubbo, ready to tackle him to the ground if things went south. “I know bees like flowers, but I’m pretty sure they can tell the difference-”

“Oh yeah, Tubbo’s got this.” Tommy reassured him. “He’s the Bee Whisperer, after all.” A large glass jar landed with a ‘thunk’ on the soft grass. “You’ll hold the jar while I get the honey.”

“Do you even know how to get honey from the nest?” Wilbur asked, and Tommy looked confused.

“Yeah, you just stick your hand in, and-”

“No, nope, we’re not doing that.” WIlbur said. “You’re holding the jar, I’m getting the honey.” He looked over the bush, and to his surprise, the bees flew around Tubbo peacefully, landing on the flowers he held as Tubbo let out a weird buzzing noise from his mouth. Huh - the Bee Whisperer… cool. 

Tommy muttered angrily in protest as he hauled the jar over at his signal, and Wilbur picked up a stick and slowly began to put globs of honey in the jar.

“Is the reason I’m not doing it because of your women problems?”

“Shut up, Tommy-” Wilbur harshly said under his breath, trying to focus. “You’ll alert the bees.”

“Well excuse me for trying to distract myself, this thing’s heavy-”

“Shut up.” Wilbur muttered angrily. Sure, it was kind of harsh, but he was the one who was complaining. They were about halfway done filling the jar when  a few bees began to fly back to the nest, and Tubbo tried to call them back to no avail.

“I think it’s time for Plan B, Wil-”

“No, it’s just a few bees, Tommy…”

One bee in particular decided to land on Tommy’s nose, and that was it. “PLAN B!” He shouted as he capped the honey jar and gave it to Wilbur as he noticed all the bees begin to run back to the nest, sensing danger. Wilbur pushed him away from the nest. “Run!”

Well, Wilbur did not need to be told twice. He rushed away as Tubbo ran after him toward their hiding place in the bush. Tommy followed soon after, covered in honey and bee stings, his hands particularly sticky. Wilbur looked over to see the nest destroyed. He flicked Tommy’s forehead. “That was a terrible plan, you idiot!”

“Ow!” Tommy rubbed the spot a bit as it burned in pain. “Hey, it worked didn’t it? We’re all safe.”

“You can’t just punch away all your problems!” Wilbur shouted. “You could have gotten really hurt!”

“I’m sorry.” Tommy said quietly, looking bothered by his older brother’s tone. Wilbur sighed, his arms crossed. Though it was good to let his frustrations out, he shouldn’t have snapped at him - Tommy was far from the one who’d been aggravating him recently. Tubbo looked at the two, then to the jar.

“Well hey,” He said, smiling, trying to lighten the tense mood. “Look at how much honey we’ve got.” He moved the almost full jar in front to show off. “This has gotta be enough honey for the bee farm, Phil’s gonna be impressed - we make a pretty good team.” Tommy brightened a bit at his friend’s words, though still kind of hurt, and moved to take the jar from Tubbo.

“We should be heading back, the sun's almost down.” Tommy said as he stood, picked up the jar and walked off, Tubbo close behind, and then Wilbur at the back. 

Wilbur would be lying if he said the past few weeks had been easy - he tried his best to just stay calm, but every time without fail Sally would always rush away, or snap at him. If she was upset with him, he wished she’d just tell him instead of playing this stupid guessing game. He felt like he was walking on eggshells around her, and he hated it. He didn’t like all this secrecy, he didn’t like not being able to just talk with her the way they used to. He was upset and angry with Sally, he just wanted to know what’s going on, is that such a hard thing to ask?

He scoffed to himself - he was supposed to be keeping his mind off it, but he couldn’t even do that. He couldn’t even relax when things were so tense with her, how pathetic is that…?

“Wilbur?”

“...What?” He asked, snapped out of his thoughts by Tubbo, who pointed ahead.

“This is the right direction, right?”

“I’m not Techno, but… I think…” He looked around, scrambling for some familiar landmark. Tommy was in front, uncharacteristically quiet. Then, he spotted a rotten tree log, and it clicked in his mind where they were. “Yes, just a bit that way.” He moved toward the front, and Tommy kept his eyes forward. Feeling awkward, Wilbur touched the sft fabric of his beanie, taking in his hands and running his fingers over it, taking a breath before finally breaking the silence.

“Look, I’m sorry for snapping at you. You didn’t deserve that.”

Tommy’s eyes were fixated on the jar for now. “You’ve been so off lately, and I just thought maybe if we dragged you on some crazy adventure, I’d get you back. But it still followed us, I don’t understand… is it me?”

“No, I… it isn’t, Tommy.” Wilbur said, focusing on the knitted stitches as he formed the words to say. “I’ve just been- Things with me and Sally have been... complicated, recently. Still, I shouldn’t have yelled at you like that.”

“So, you really are having women problems.” Tommy’s tone was serious, an oddity for the usually joking teen. “You really care about her a lot, don’t you?”

“Yeah… yeah, I do.” Wilbur breathed.

“No wonder. I haven’t seen you this torn up about anyone in… in well, forever.” Tommy smiled, not joking or smirking, but just smiled. “We’re here for you, you know.”

“I know.” Wilbur smiled as the two made eye contact. “Thank you, Tommy.”

“Does this mean you’re not mad at each other anymore?” Tubbo asked from behind them, and the two brothers smiled. 

“Yeah, yeah I think we’re done.” Tommy said as Tubbo wrapped his arms around both of his brothers shoulders with a relieved smile. 

“Good, because I did not want to be walking home in that awkward silence for another hour.” With that, laughter erupted from all three. 

-------------------------------------------

Philza smiled, eyebrows raised in a bit of surprise as he took the jar of honey from Tommy, looking at his condition. “Should I even ask?”

“We used Plan B.” Tubbo said with a smile, making Tommy smirk.

“I punched a thing.” Tommy said confidently, and Philza laughed. 

“Go get cleaned up, both of you - and don’t forget to apply that sting cream.” The two boys marched to the bathroom as Philza set their prized jar on the counter. Back in the living room, Wilbur’s gut ached uncomfortably as Sally walked toward him, giving him a sad smile. 

“Hey.” Her hands found their way into his and their fingers interlocked. It felt… nice.

“Hey.”

“Do you, uh… can we talk? Alone?”

“Uh… yeah, yeah. Okay.”

Sally’s hands never left his as they sat down on his bed in his room, the door closed behind them. Though for the past few weeks Wilbur had so much he wanted to say to his girlfriend, now he couldn’t seem to find any words as they just sat in silence for a few moments. The fur on Sally’s ears and tail stood on end, and she took a deep breath, looking at their hands as she finally spoke.

“Okay, Wil… there’s something I’ve gotta tell you.”

Wilbur’s heart felt uneasy by your nervousness, worries filling his mind of finally figuring out the truth… and if he didn’t like what it was. If Sally decided to break up with him - all the uncomfortableness would make so much sense, why would she drag it out for this long… he really hoped it wasn’t that, but… it seemed more and more probable. 

“You’ve probably noticed I’ve been acting weird, right?” She asked as he nodded. “Well, remember when I told you that I used to not be attached to anything, because I knew it could only lead to disaster?”

“Yeah…?”

“Well… I’m attached to you, a lot. I’ve realized it lately, and I’ve realized I don’t… I don’t want to lose you. I was so scared that if I told you, I would, and I… I love you too much to lose you, Wil.”

Is this what she’d been upset about?

“You’re never going to lose me, Sally. I promise…” He said, relaxing a bit as his mind whirred about the entire situation. He kissed her forehead softly as he pulled her in for a comforting embrace. “I promise I’m not going anywhere, okay?”

Sally smiled, beginning to relax a bit more, but still a bit nervous. “That’s why it’s been so hard to tell you, Wil.”

“Tell me what?”

Sally took another deep breath. “Wilbur, I’m pregnant.”

Wilbur blinked a few times, trying to process what his girlfriend had just said. Pregnant. She… she was pregnant. That was not what he was expecting her to tell him in the slightest. But, it did explain some things - her frequent bathroom trips, for one. His mind slowly began to put the pieces together, how it made so much sense…

“You serious…?” He asked her, and she smiled, tucking his hair behind his ear.

“One hundred percent, Wilby.” Her voice shook with nervousness as she mustered a smile, not knowing what he’d do or say next. Wilbur broke out into a huge smile as he took Sally into his arms and spun her around as the two laughed, smiling. Wilbur was so relieved that it wasn’t what he thought, that it was the farthest thing from his worries. All the anxiety, the fear… it all went away. They both fell into the bed, smiling and laughing. Wilbur planted a soft kiss on Sally’s cheek as he moved to cuddle her tightly in his arms. “So… you’re not upset with me?”

“No, why would I?” Wilbur said. “Of course, I mean, it’s unexpected… but, we’ll get through it together.” His attention quickly turned to her, his relief turning quickly into concern. “Are… are you okay? I can’t imagine what you’re going through, if you even want the baby-”

“I’ve had lots of time to think about it.” Sally laughed. “And, I’ll admit I had mixed feelings at first - partly because of what you’d think, but partly because I’ve never even thought about kids, you know? It always seemed so far off.”

“Well, if you’re uncomfortable about it, we can always talk about other options, or…” Wilbur said, trying to reassure her.

“No. No… I…” Her eyebrows furrowed, and her ears flicked back and forth. “I think I wanna keep it.” She looked over to Wilbur as her hands found their way back into his. “I was so scared of losing everything that I kept this from you for so long… I don’t want to be scared anymore.” She laid her head against his chest, finding the words as her eyes were glued on their hands. “I want… I want you, Wilbur. I want this.”

“Are you sure, we don’t have to decide anything right now, I don’t want to pressure you-”

“Wilbur.” Sally reached up to cup his cheek with a comforting smile, feeling happy, relieved, and content. Of course, part of her was scared of the unknown, but Sally knew that what Phil had told her, what Wilbur told her was the absolute truth - she and Wilbur would get through it together. Her hand moved his over her stomach, and Wilbur couldn’t help but smile as he leaned down and pressed a kiss to her forehead.

You wouldn’t see it at first glance, but they were both absolutely terrified at the new adventure waiting for them. Yet, somehow, in each other’s arms, they felt safe, secure. Like they could do anything. I guess, looking to what would come next, that was more true than either of them would think.

[rosethornewrites]

Fic: the thing with feathers, ch. 15

Relationships: Lán Zhàn | Lán Wàngjī/Wèi Yīng | Wèi Wúxiàn, Wèi Yīng | Wèi Wúxiàn & Yú Zǐyuān, Jiāng Fēngmián & Yú Zǐyuān, Jiāng Yànlí & Wèi Yīng | Wèi Wúxiàn, Jiāng Chéng | Jiāng Wǎnyín & Wèi Yīng | Wèi Wúxiàn, Lán Zhàn | Lán Wàngjī & Wèi Yīng | Wèi Wúxiàn, Jiāng Fēngmián & Wèi Yīng | Wèi Wúxiàn, Lán Qǐrén & Wèi Yīng | Wèi Wúxiàn

Characters: Lán Zhàn | Lán Wàngjī, Lán Yuàn | Lán Sīzhuī, Wèi Yīng | Wèi Wúxiàn, Jiāng Chéng | Jiāng Wǎnyín, Yú Zǐyuān, Yínzhū, Jīnzhū, Lán Jǐngyí, Jiāng Fēngmián, Jiāng Yànlí, Lán Qǐrén, Lán Huàn | Lán Xīchén, Mèng Yáo | Jīn Guāngyáo

Additional Tags: Transmigration, Alternate Universe - Time Travel, Time Travel Fix-It, Illnesses, Family, Scars, Memory Loss, Angst, Crying, Music, Nosebleed, Fear, Recovery, Nightmares, Sharing a Bed, Flirting, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Good Parent Yú Zǐyuān, Referenced Sexual Slavery, Blood and Gore, Monsters, Sexual Tension, betrothal

Summary: Wangji speaks for himself. Wei Ying wakes. Communication ensues.

Notes: I might be wrong on this, but when I rewatched The Untamed with my mom, it seemed the town was named Lotus Pier and the sect grounds and Jiang home were named Lotus Cove, which is why I’ve been differentiating the two here. Even though yuanfen is often associated with the red thread, it isn’t always associated with romance. It’s not even fate, really, as that implies a higher power. It’s simply fateful coincidence and often simply associated with good or bad luck. In this case, it’s a potential relationship—whether friendship or more, Lan Wangji isn’t really thinking about right now. He just believes that his second meeting with Wei Wuxian means they are meant to have import in each other’s lives, and he wants very badly to protect him.

AO3 link

Chapter 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14

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Wangji felt like he had been in a daze since Wei Ying had abruptly gotten a nosebleed and panicked when he was talking to an older Jiang disciple. When he had tried to take his friend to the healer, he insisted on being taken to Madam Yu instead. 

As improbable as it seemed, Wei Ying’s vision of a monster yao had apparently been correct, the adults had informed him when they returned. And it put him in danger.  

He was disappointed to have missed the practical lesson shufu had given on the proper disposal of yao corpses, but he would rather be at Wei Ying’s side. 

Wei Ying was still unconscious, and Wangji was aware of the conversations happening around him despite the daze, as they tried to determine how best to protect him—if he truly had precognitive visions, Madam Yu argued, he would be seen as an asset to acquire by certain other clans.

Madam Yu’s arguments regarding his protection made sense, particularly official adoption, and though shufu was balking and displeased with her second idea, it too was truly logical, could throw off any suspicion from the Sun that saw all, could protect Wei—or rather, Jiang Ying. 

And what if Wei Ying’s dream of being cast into Luanzang Gang… What if that was a premonition? The place was warded and managed by the Wen sect, after all. If they wanted him and could not have him, would that be the result? 

If he could do anything to prevent that from coming to pass, he would. 

Shufu was turning angry colors, seeming to be too overcome to speak properly, starting and stopping and sputtering when Madam Yu countered his half-formed objections, completely unruffled. 

“I agree,” he said firmly—during a pause, so as not to interrupt. 

“Wangji!”

Shufu looked outraged, and Wangji wondered if he had been expected to stay silent on the matter. Madam Yu, on the other hand, looked pleased. 

“I want to help him,” Wangji insisted. “I wish to help prevent his nightmare from coming to pass.”

He could see from the stricken look on the adults’ faces that they knew what he was referring to. Wangji was glad he didn’t have to elaborate further, and that they understood the gravity of his concern. For a moment, there was dead silence as they digested the idea, but he was also unsurprised when his uncle spoke again against the idea of betrothal. 

“You’re too young to—”

“A-Li has been betrothed since she was a toddler,” Madam Yu cut in swiftly, what little patience she had spent. “I only hope her betrothed doesn’t grow to become as egregious a pig as his father. I trust my sworn sister will do her best with him.”

Wangji couldn’t help but gape, unused to gossip in general and absolutely shocked to hear such words about a major sect leader. 

“A-Ying is kind and intelligent,” she continued, unfazed. “Don’t tell me you disapprove of him because the mother he doesn’t even remember once shaved your beard off as you slept.”

The statement seemed to hang in the air. Shufu was turning an alarming color, and Wangji couldn’t help contemplating what he would look like without his beard. 

All told, it was probably for the better that they were interrupted by Wei Ying waking, though the fact that he woke with a scream and immediately started sobbing was more than a little upsetting. It took time for the Jiangs to calm him down, for Madam Yu to assure him no one died, that he had done the right thing telling her so they could take down the yao without anyone being hurt. 

“Perhaps you should tell us what you ‘saw,’” shufu said once Wei Ying was calm. 

“It was big, and like a dragon, but not like a dragon,” Wei Ying started. “Like a snake, maybe?”

He remembered only that about the creature. His san-shixiong had grabbed him and Jiang Wanyin, propelled them to shore with a burst of spiritual energy, and had been promptly eaten by the yao.

“It bit him in half,” Wei Ying said, his voice trembling. “And then it started killing the others.”

He lapsed into silence, his jaw trembling. 

“I ordered the disciples out of the water,” Madam Yu told him. “Your shushu and I battled it with Jinzhu and Yinzhu on the river. San-shixiong is fine, as is everyone else.”

She patted him on the shoulder, clearly trying to comfort him. 

“You did the right thing, A-Ying,” she said. “You kept them safe. Now we need to keep you safe.”

Wei Ying blinked, his eyes darting as he processed that. 

“Because I saw,” he said eventually. “People will want that.”

Madam Yu nodded, looking pleased that he understood. 

“I’m sorry for bringing trouble, shenshen.”

The smile disappeared, her face tight and downcast for a moment. Wei Ying’s words hurt her, but Wangji didn’t understand how. 

“A-Ying, you can trust that your shushu and I will handle any trouble. You are not at fault.”

The boy nodded, but still looked uncertain, as though he wasn’t sure whether to believe it wasn’t his fault. 

Jiang Fengmian seemed to sense that, and patted Wei Ying’s head.

“A-Ying, we decided the best way to protect you is to officially adopt you into the Jiang clan.”

“As our son,” Madam Yu added. “And A-Lian as our daughter.”

“It won’t be unfilial?” Wei Ying asks softly after a moment. “My mama and baba… Would they be mad at me?”

The Jiangs looked startled at the question, but Wangji understood. 

Shufu almost fulfilled the role of a father for him, but his true father was still alive, though he’d never met him that he could remember. So to refer to shufu as such would be unfilial; even if his father was dead, it could be unfilial. 

“Your father,” Sect leader Jiang started hoarsely, and had to clear his throat before continuing. “Your father was my sworn brother, and I loved him as though he was my blood brother.”

“If you would be more comfortable continuing to refer to us as shenshen and shushu, rather than a-niang and a-die, you may,” Madam Yu told him. “Legally you would be our son, to protect you, but we wouldn’t be replacing your mama and baba.”

Wei Ying nodded, biting his lip. 

“It’s just… I forgot them—everything about them. I don’t want them to be hungry ghosts.”

Yu Ziyuan gathered him to her, and he let out a soft sob. 

Wangji couldn’t imagine forgetting his mother, who had been one of the brighter points of his life until her death. Wei Ying, as a homeless orphan in Yiling, had smiled so much like her. Back then, he could remember his parents. Now they were lost to the void where his memories once were. 

“You didn’t lose your memory on purpose,” Jiang Yanli offered softly. “I’m sure they wouldn’t blame you for that.”

“They will not be hungry, A-Ying,” Madam Yu murmured to him. “Their tablets are in the ancestral hall for you to leave offerings and burn joss paper whenever you wish. We are not replacing them. Fengmian and I can tell you stories of them, if you wish. And Lan Qiren was acquainted with your mother and may be willing to share stories as well.”

“The stories may help you remember,” Wangji added.

“Maybe a-die and a-niang can draw them, too,” Jiang Cheng said. “I bet that would help.”

Wei Ying sniffled and nodded, his nose running as he seemed to fight the urge to cry. Wangji pulled a cloth from his sleeve and handed it to him and received a watery smile.

That seemed to remind Yu Ziyuan of the other part of the plan. 

“It’s possible this is just the effect of the resentful energy still in your mind,” she said. “Learning the songs of the Lan and further help from them might make it fade. To avoid suspicion about why you will spend time in Gusu, you will be betrothed to Lan-er-gongzi.”

“When you are older it can be dissolved,” shufu added.

Wangji watched for Wei Ying’s reaction, feeling oddly uncertain—after all, it was an unusual arrangement, and he might not welcome it—but when Wei Ying turned to him, it seemed like his own uncertainty was reflected back. 

“I don’t want to prevent you from meeting your fated one, Lan Zhan,” he said softly. “You don’t have to if you’re uncomfortable.”

“I already agreed. Our meeting again was yuanfen, and I wish to help protect you,” he assured him. “It is no burden.”

He knew Wei Ying often saw himself as a burden, or at least referred to himself as one. He always seemed conscious of how much he was relying on others, always seemed to try to make up for it. Wangji wanted him to know he was not a burden, not trouble, not anything other than worthy of protection. 

“You’ll let me know if it is?” Wei Ying asked solemnly. “Like Lan-xiansheng said, we can dissolve it later.”

“It will not be a burden,” Wangji insisted. “But if I am wrong, I will tell you. But you also must tell me.”

Wei Ying smiled, strangely wistful. 

“Ah, Lan Zhan. You’re so good.”

“W—Jiang Ying is also good.”

It was hard not to think of him as Wei Ying, but Wangji would do his best to adjust. His friend looked startled at the name, then smiled almost bashfully. 

“You can call me A-Ying,” he said softly. “If it’s easier.”

Wangji knew friends often referred to each other, and he nodded, happy that he considered them close. 

“Then you may call me A-Zhan,” he said. 

No one aside from occasionally xiongzhang called him so informally, but he thought it would be acceptable if it was A-Ying. 

Shufu, he noticed, watched their exchange, stroking his beard thoughtfully. 

“Madam Yu’s idea is that the two of you will act as second in command to both sects, according to the betrothal contract,” Lan Qiren says. “Half of the year in Yunmeng, half in Gusu.”

“Thus you will have an excuse to receive further treatment in Gusu and to learn more musical cultivation that may help,” Madam Yu added.

Jiang Fengmian reached forward, patting A-Ying’s arm. 

“We will negotiate the terms, but only if you’re okay with it, A-Ying,” he said. “People may say rude things.”

A-Ying seemed surprised to be asked, but he nodded. 

“I know people might be weird since it’s a cutsleeve betrothal, but people find something to be weird about all the time. I’m fine with it if A-Zhan is.”

“I am,” Lan Zhan said. 

“Excellent,” Madam Yu said, looking pleased. “We will discuss this with your uncle and draw up terms. But first we will perform the adoption rites and announce you and A-Lian as Jiang.”

Wangji understood she meant letters would later be sent out to the rest of the gentry later about their betrothal. Though he preferred not to be the object of gossip, he understood the betrothal announcement would concretely ally Gusu Lan and Yunmeng Jiang and serve as protection for A-Ying. He would manage somehow.

A soft knock on the door prevented any further conversation, and Madam Yu dispelled the silencing talisman. She opened the door to reveal a servant, and the scent of food wafted in, making his mouth water. It was long past dinner now.

The servant bowed.

“Madam Yu, the townspeople learned of the yao. Some witnessed the battle. The businesses came together and delivered food as thanks. We are serving the disciples as well.”

Several more servants entered the room, efficiently clearing the table and setting up far more communal dishes than normal. It was clear that the food was from both restaurants and the Lotus Cove kitchen, and so the array was much more varied than most meals. He did notice that there were far fewer dishes from the Jiang kitchens, and realized the yao attack had likely even interrupted dinner preparations by the servants, making the gift from the townspeople all the more apt and appreciated. 

Sect Leader Jiang murmured about reimbursing the restaurants to the ranking servant who had knocked, and the rest of the Jiangs moved to the table while he did. Wangji offered a hand to A-Ying to help him out of bed, and they went together.

Many of the dishes were heavy with spice, but Jiang Yanli was already putting together a bowl of rice and lesser-spiced dishes, which she handed to him with a smile. Xiongzhang and shufu were filling their own bowls in a similar manner, while A-Ying filled his with a base of noodles almost fiery-looking with spice and other dishes that were tinted red, orange, and yellow with spice, then settled on a cushion a little away from the table.

Aside from the sound of utensils on porcelain, the room was unusually silent, everyone focused on eating after so much energy was expended on the yao. Where normally the Jiangs chattered during supper, the meal was almost as quiet as those in Gusu. It felt odd, as Wangji had become accustomed to listening to the conversations around him, even if he didn’t participate in them.

Wangji settled beside him to eat, quietly considering what should be done to make A-Ying comfortable in his visits to Gusu, and the first thing on his list was acquiring spices and spicy condiments from the Lotus Pier market. His friend would find the fare at Cloud Recesses entirely too bland, but he wanted him to enjoy Gusu as much as he had come to enjoy Yunmeng.

Perhaps he should ask Jiang Yanli to teach him recipes, as well.

Mind set, he focused on eating, taking comfort in the warmth of his friend beside him.

[katieurah]

Screening Hearts - Part 3

So, I figured on 3 or 4 parts to this originally. Now, it’s maybe 5? Who knows. These two just keep being ridiculous, so I keep writing. We’ll see and cross our fingers I can make this hot mess into something. 

Also, I apologize for the number of times “check” appears in this one. Quarantine has me making lists of all the things, so I think Elide must make all the lists, too.

Let me know if you want tagged!

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Elide very carefully swiped her marker over the dry erase calendar above her desk. This is what it feels like to have finally lost it, she thought as she perfected the month and dates in the little black squares. She’d spent all last night rearranging her home office space, expanding the area to house more notebooks, a new-to-this-space jar of pens (which all work after extensively scribble-testing them), her laptop along with the desktop setup that was already there, a wall space for sticky notes, the newly mounted HD webcam, and her favorite chair. Check that off the list.

She was going stir-crazy.

It was bound to happen eventually, right? Her small apartment in a suburb of Orynth was 20 minutes from the office in a downtown business district of the city. Which she hadn’t been to in a week. She hadn’t been outside of her suburb for 5 days. She hadn’t been out of the apartment for 3. Stupid mayor. Stupid politicians. Stupid city limit rules. Stupid apartment in the crap-side of town.

Elide would feel so much better if her boss would actually contact her and give her feedback. She’d feel so much better if she were actually working with her team and not just video conferencing. She’d feel so much better if she could go blow off steam at her favorite pub. She’d feel so much better if Lorcan wasn’t the only consistent contact she’d had.

Aelin and Rowan had Elspeth and were on an extended holiday they’d planned before the merger and were now stuck due to travel restrictions. A cabin in the Staghorn mountains seemed great until you were stuck with limited internet.

Lysandra and Aedion were all the way in Rifthold where he was stationed and she was in between jobs. There were only so many video calls they could do.

Manon and The Thirteen were coordinating relief efforts in the Wastes where travel restrictions hit hardest. Dorian, of course, was there, up Manon’s butt and around the corner. She got sassy when she was stressed and anxious. And maybe a little immature, too.

She’d been organizing and creating checklists for almost two days. She kept going through her mental list of her people, adding Yrene and Chaol, Fenrys and Connall, Gavriel, Vaughn...Check, Check, Check. More people she’d had contact with, but no one to talk to. At least she knew where they were. Another thing to check off the list.

Elide hung the calendar up above her work area and booted her computer system up. She wanted to triple check that it all would work seamlessly whether she added her laptop in or not.

“Cable there...check… settings….check...audio detect...check…check, chickity-check…. check yo self before you wreck yo self….Chickity-check yo self before you wreck yo self….Yeah, come on and check yo self before you wreck yo self!”

Head bobbing and hands scratching imaginary DJ setups while she waited, Elide was so lost in her thoughts that when the video chat tones went off and startled her, she tipped over in her chair as she reached over to answer the call without thinking.

“Uh, Elide? You okay?”

Shit! Of course, she actually would have answered the dadgummed thing. As she fell over. On a chat with Lorcan. …

Lorcan watched with amusement as Elide closed her eyes and took a deep breath, righting herself in her seat and glaring at him.

“What do you want, Salvaterre?”

He struggled to keep his face straight, biting the inside of his cheek before answering. He honestly had no real reason for video calling her on Sunday evening. They weren’t even supposed to talk until after lunch tomorrow, but he found himself making up excuses anyway.

“I was just testing a new set up and wanted to make sure everything worked right. Just lucky I guess that you were available to be my guinea pig,” he teased. She regarded him suspiciously, like she didn’t quite believe his story.

“Well, you tried it. So, bye,” she quipped and began to reach to end the chat. She still looked flustered. She probably didn’t want to admit she’d been doing the same thing to her system and that’s why she could answer. And that he’d seen her wipe out at the beginning of the call.

“Hold on there, sweetheart. I have to make sure the audio is calibrated just right and that we don’t get dropped.” He adopted an arrogant tone, knowing it’d irk her and keep her on longer.

“Don’t call me that,” she hissed.

He chuckled, reading her face just fine over the screen, noting her little tells of irritation, how her nostrils flared when he got under her skin.

“First,” she continued, gritting her teeth, “you can run diagnostics with the system, you don’t need me. Second, you’re a morning guy. Why are you on here at 6 on Sunday night? Heck, we could even be doing this tomorrow before we dive in.”

“Oh, come on, El. You know as well as I do that testing systems works better with another person. And what else is there to do since we’re all kind of stuck? Perranth officially cut off travel on Friday until the tox results come back on that dinner.”

“I know… it’ll be another week before we know if we can even go back to the office,” she whined. Then she looked caught off guard “Wait… you’re in Perranth? I thought you’d be in Doranelle at headquarters?”

Damn. She didn’t know he was back in the country, then. “Rowan wanted some security updates done at the branch office here, so I stopped off on my way to the summit. Then the shit hit the fan, so I’m here until they ease up.”

“Oh. Well, that stinks...Wait, if you’re only in for that, are you seriously set up in a hotel right now?”

“Gods, no! That’d be the worst. I’m at the cottage,” he replied, referring to the second home Rowan and Aelin had purchased. Since everyone traveled so much, Rowan had set up an office for the security firm in that house. It was also a frequent place for layover flights, pit stops, and long weekends, making it a nice retreat while he was stuck.

“You didn’t seriously pack your coffee, the grinder, and the whole system with you…” She said, staring at him flatly.

“Damn straight. I wouldn’t be able to live on that cheap single-serve crap Aelin keeps here. Must be why she’s always so bitchy…”

“Hey! That’s my sister-cousin you’re talking about! And I doubt it’s the coffee’s fault...” Elide jumped to defend Aelin, even while chuckling and agreeing. She knew A could be a real piece of work.

Lorcan smiled, eager to keep up their banter. He was relaxing and it felt nice to be back to how they were. “El, I-”

“Well, it’s late and I’ve gotta get a few more things done before tomorrow. Bye, Salvaterre.” Elide rushed as though trying to stop him from speaking any more and ended the chat abruptly.

Lorcan stared at the screen, trying to catch up. He hadn’t even said anything. Had he? Even she was laughing at his rather mild jab at Aelin. Sure, A got on his nerves sometimes and their history wasn’t always good, but she was family.

He dropped his head back, rubbing his face with his hands. He let out a frustrated growl before stalking to the kitchen. Maybe there was some whisky somewhere. ....

Elide slumped over the desk, banging her head as she whined. She had to stop. Their banter was nice. She wouldn’t admit to craving it yet, though. She wasn’t so stir-crazy to go that deep into navel gazing… yet anyways. She needed distance. She had to remember that Lorcan was a self-absorbed, arrogant, dill hole. She had to remind herself of that. She brought back memories of That Night to reinforce those thoughts as her heart tried to betray her again.

She’d been upset and angry at another jerk who’d tried to get in her pants and wasn’t mature enough to handle no. Sure, he’d been a fun date and was attractive, but she just didn’t feel that urge with him yet. So she said no, he’d ghosted for a week, and then sent a text saying he thought they should see other people.

Aelin had handed her a glass of wine and cheered her up a bit, making her laugh over horror stories from past dates. Dating was hard. Elide was a catch. Guys were dumb. Then they started talking about Lorcan. “El… have you thought maybe you and Lor should try it?”

Elide had stared open-mouthed, trying to formulate a response coherent enough. Was she that obvious? She thought she hid her feelings pretty well, but… And Aelin recommending it?

“Come on, E, you two are great together. And I know you. I’ve seen you staring at him several times. Just, think about it? And that you’ve got options. This loser isn’t worth any more tears.”

“True,” Elide had agreed. “Maybe I’ll ask Lorcan for coffee or something later. But tonight I just want to finish this wine and snuggle Ellie.”

Just then, Lorcan walked in and ruined it all.

Right. He ruined it. No going back.

Elide left her mental checklist behind in favor of repeating bad things about Lorcan to herself. Even as she pointedly ignored the realization that talking to him helped she felt more grounded than she had earlier. She also ignored the realization that she’d probably fall asleep convincing herself that his laugh earlier was grating and not the best sound she’d ever heard.

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@nalgenewhore

[devintrinidad]

Now a modern CAW au because why not.

1146 is a rich kid from a rich family of world famous doctors. He’s naturally expected to become a doctor himself one day and is a total nerd for biology. He has a very… Strong appreciation for white blood cells (for some reason he just really loves learning about them). He goes to a bording school and shares his firm room with 2001. Their dorm neighbors are 2626, 2048 and 4989. They’ve all known each other their whole lives and the others come from, not as wealthy, but still prestiges families.

2001 and 2048 are from Euroasia (and some made up country, shrugs) and the rumours are they come from a line of nobility. They neither confirm or deny it but they are gifted in various languages and are excellent in all areas of study. 2001 particularly excels in business math and law and 2048 in history and anthropology. They’re the smart ones and study nerds of the group. 1146, 2626 and 4989 aren’t dumb. But they are joked as being the dumb jocks of the group because they’d rather play sports then study in all areas besides what they like most. 1146 loves philosophy and molecular biology. 2626 likes programming and english. 4989 loves trigonometry and physics. 

But yeah outside those things those 3 have no ability to put in the effort beyond just barely passing in other homework assignments. They often plead to 2001 before big tests to please have mercy on their dumb inferior minds. 2201 always says they have themselves to blame. Then he caves and spends the whole night before the big test to help them prepare. It’s a vicious cycle that 2048 always escapes because he always finds excuses. At least initially. 2001 quickly gets fed up even though 1146 points out he’s never seen him sleep once despite always complaining about being tired. 2048 is the one who always riles the other 4 up to doing stupid stuff before any big test (after he’s done studying) so 2048 is the one who should be responsible for them. 

They’re also all part of a mixed martial arts after school club. No one else will join because they’re likely too scared since these boys are INTENSE. 

The boys are around 14 or something (do I know how bording schools work? No). 

The boys, 1146 in particular, get easily misunderstood. Most kids see then as violent nutcases because at the start of school they got into a huge bloody confrontation with the bullies (yep, human versions of viruses) that landed all of them in the hospital for a couple of weeks. Despite good intentions that event and the rumours surrounding the darker side of their families dealings get blown out of proportion. The boys are popular and seen as cool in a sense. But people keep their distance from them as assign exaggerated stereotypes to them. Girls from another bording school across the lake from them send valentine gifts to them and secret admirers like sending them notes. But no one wants to date or get to know them. Essentially besides some cool teachers, the 5 boys only have each other. They choose to not let it bother them (too much) and let their sense of justice drive them into battling the sneaky bullies who are honestly psychos who shouldn’t be allowed in society. But they are smart and never get caught so the boys can’t get caught challenging them or stopping their plots against the student body (see what I did there, puns). 

The killer T’s are the hall monitors and the boys are constantly either having alliances with them or sneaking past them for various reasons (stopping bullies or just goofing off). It’s a complicated relationship. 

Commander T is the president of the school council. 2001 and 2048 are members of the council and Killer T thinks that’s the only reason Commander T won’t let him bust that group for their obvious crimes against their authority (he’s mad 2626, 4989 and 2048 have pranked him in the past. Nothing personal, but he can’t stand 1146 being popular despite having just a scary reputation as he does). 

The lactic bacteria exist as dogs in this setting. Technically they’re owned by the philosophy teacher Basophil (the one teacher 1146 idolizes so much his friends worry it’s a mental disease. Eosinophil idolizes him too. But she’s in the other school and can only see him when she visits 1146. They’re 2nd cousins or something. Before the bording school, Basophil used to be their tutor when they were much younger) and run loose around the school. But they end up spending a lot of their time with 1146. He takes care of them a lot and they listen to him as much as they do Basophil (they’re either very Dumb dogs or very disobedient ones as. They go back and forth about not understanding the simplest commands to figuring out complex problems like opening doors or the refrigerator by themselves). 

The bording school has recently decided to have girls start attending (some fire happened and they want more students. Idk). Despite female students not offically attending  until a year later. One exception gets made.

Enter 10 year old 3803.

Both 3803’s parents were war medics who later became agents to a secretive defense group who track down foreign spies and take them out. They retired when they had 3803 and made a living as a cleaning service. One day 3803 gets kidnapped and her dad dies saving her. Her mom decides it’s too dangerous to be with her and makes the hard choice, for the time being, to give 3803 to a friend until she can hunt down her enemies (momma us Macrophage). 

3803 is given a new identity and sent to the bording school for her own protection. The friend who is taking care of her is 1146’s dad. He’s 1110 (their teacher from canon. That’s his number right?). He’s been in love with Macrophage ever since they met and fought in a war together. Unfortunately he was in a arranged marriage set up by his parents and she fell in love with someone else. His own marriage didn’t work out since his wife left him to pursue her own stuff. 1146 was left with abandonment issues from that and because his mom was always cold to him and didn’t hide the fact she never wanted him.

1110 is a very warm and affectionate father to 1146. Wanting to make up for lack of love he received from his mother. 1110 is very supportive and happy to let 1146 experience life in matters his own strict distant parents never allowed him. But he worries because 1146 likes to act like he’s fine but he’s very closed off. 1110 worries 1146 will never open up to anyone besides the select few he grew up with. 

To 3803, 1110 quickly sees her as the daughter he never had with Macrophage. He becomes very overprotective and nurturing of her. Wanting her to feel safe and hopeful her mother will someday come back alive. He also hopes beyond hope that his son will one day fall in love with her (when they’re much older) because he really wants her to be his daughter. Pretty much why he refuses to adopt her despite Macrophage saying it would be a good idea (he thinks it’s too much like giving up on Macrophage surviving her ordeal. He wants to believe Macrophage will live and come home to 3803 again. Ecspecially after everything she’s doing to protect her daughter). 1110 spends 3 months helping 3803 recover enough and explaining her new situation. He chats with 1146 over a secret line (yes 1146 was taught by his military dad how to have secret phone calls) about 3803 and her situation. He doesn’t expect anyone to come after her or figure out she’s there (he’s doing a lot of work on his end too) but he still wants his son to look after her and be her friend.

When 1146 sees her, he thinks she’s younger then she actually is. She’s dulled eyed and looks ready to jump out of her own skin. Which he can imagine why after everything she’s been through and now, for the year, being the only girl in a all male school (1110 in a sweet tone threatened to take down the entire school of she wasn’t properly cares for). When he approaches her, she immediately perks up and asks if he’s Mr 1110’s son. After that 1146 isn’t sure how he ended up walking her to his club while she chatters faster then a hummingbird hums and latching on to his hand and swinging it back and forth.

1146 updated his friends on her situation so they know they’ll most likely be seeing her a lot and to be extra nice to her. Because he’s self aware enough to know he’s going to be bad at it. He already made her almost burst into tears when he replied with a maybe after Killer T laid down the laws and threatened to throw anyone who breaks them into confinement. He also knows he can trust his friends with such a big secret

She’s really clingy with 1146 initially. It’s weird and a new thing. But he doesn’t dislike it.

1146 and 3803 first really bond (after a few awkward weeks) when they’re alone and he’s studying for his anatomy class. She keeps asking him what the pictures are about. He explains what each cell does and gets more and more excited to talk about the topic when she gets more and more amazed. His friends tease him about his fascination with cells and think he should have been one instead. 3803 is the first to genuinely be very interested in listening and sharing his desire to talk about them. Afterwards 3803 declares she loves red blood cells and is going to be like them. A mailwoman who gets her packaged delivered no matter what. It’s the first time both really smile at each other and he feels a connection with her. 

After that he realizes he misses her a lot when she’s gone and almost gets jealous when she starts clinging to his friends too.

3803 loves to clean because She used to help her parents clean all the time. The boys mixed martial arts club is a pig pen to say the least. Completely dirty and just about unsanitary. Never been washed or dusted. Trash of junk food is littered everywhere. Dirty clothes just left hanging around. 3803 almost can’t believe what she’s seeing. She spends the next 3 days cleaning the entire club by herself and she won’t even let 1146 and the others come in. When they finally can it’s like a whole new room. They didn’t even know they had white wood floors. From then on 3803 becomes the club’s little cleaning lady. When 1146 tries to help her or tell her it’s not nessecary. She replies he’s not good at it and she likes to clean because it reminds her of mama and papa.

3803 ends up being a kindred spirit to the boys, 1146 in particular. She doesn’t have a bad reputation like they do. But for some reason she’s one of those people you expect to have a million friends but can’t even make one. She’s sweet and tries her best. But she gets overlooked easily for not standing out and she can’t find a way to connect with anyone her age. Even if her follow students are nice to her, no one invites her into their group. She’s also really bad at academics. She has to work twice as hard to be just average. This causes her a lot of stress. When 1146 comes by to check up on her after her math test (she studied really hard and holed herself up in her room so much she forgot to eat). He sees her dull eyed and unhappy, like she’s too sad to cry. A mean kid makes a snide comment she’s just naturally too dumb to change herself. Before he can intervene, 3803 determinedly says she can and she will and runs off to the library to study more. 1146 pats the kid on the shoulder and says nothing. Just stares until the kid pales in recognition of one of the Beserkers and flees like his life friends on it. From then on 1146 drags 2626 and 4989 to the library to be her study partners. If she’s determined to be good at everything she can be (and she says herself she’s not good at anything) then they can work harder to improve themselves on areas they’re weak in too. 2048 and 2001 will join them too (and be far more helpful at helping 3803 study then they will be with the other 3). 

3803 ends up becoming the club’s mascot. 4989 and 2626 dresses her up in a kendo outfit (then take the bokun sword away when she accidently hits 1146 in a… Sensitive area.  They don’t explain to her why it was so painful for him). 

3803 gets a pen pal from the other school. It’s 5100 and the two quickly establish a close connection. 5100 often sends seperate letters addressed to the boys, outraged 3803 isn’t getting the girl stuff she needs. 5100 proclaims not only is she going to be visiting her but she’s decided to transfer to their school next year so they better have 3803 involved in stuff she would be doing if she had girl friends who liked the same stuff.

She sends them a list of things 3803 told her she missed doing with her momma and wished she had 5100 here with her already. They are a bunch of dumb boys who don’t know a thing about girls. They do the best thing they can. They youtube how to do everything on the list. 

(In this au 3803 has longer hair for this scene alone). 2626 takes over hair stuff. Her momma used to make her hair pretty and put it in all sorts of styles and decorations. He nearly has a heart attack when she says Ow when he brushes her now messy hair too hard. He’s not brave enough to trim her hair and layer it. So he gives himself a pat on the back when he can put her hair into a ponytail. His next goal is pigtails. 

2001 takes her to cutesy maid cafes where where they drink tea and eat cookies. 2001 gets fawned over by the maids because they think he’s hanging out with his cute sister, who they take pictures with and give free samples to. 2001 isn’t sure what to do when the maids want his phone number for a tip so he leaves a gwnedous amount of cash and walks away really fast while while 3803 skips along holding his hand and begging to go back there again (he thought he got the easy one. Liitle 2001 isn’t as cool headed as adult 2001).  

2048 takes her clothes shopping. He first ends up picking out clothes he likes. But when she gets mistaken for a boy a few times he decides to let her go solo. She picks a onsie cat suit for pajamas. Cute but not exactly the clothes he was told to get. Eventually they wander into girl sports area and a worker has mercy on him and helps him pick out cute sports shorts, shoes and shorts for girls her age. 3803 is very energetic so she likes them a lot.

Both 1146 and 4989 are in charge of baking sweets. The most they know is throw a ramen cup into the microwave after adding water so their first attempt is kind of bad. She has to stop them from adding olive oil instead of vegetable oil to a cake mix. They can’t remember if the mix used to be a vanilla or chocolate cake after baking it. They find their groove when 4989 discovers youtube channels about making awesome designer cakes. One about a cake shaped like a boat and layered with Kit Kats charms all three of them. After that 4989 become a baking fiend! Except his food is never good because he focuses more on creative design then taste. 3803 has to be there to remind him what actually tastes good.

All of them engage in axe throwing (Macrophage would definitely make axe throwing a mother daughter thing). 3803 actually has really good aim. But she sadly says mama could throw a perfect aim backwards (that is a thing. It’s awesome). All of them compete to see who can learn that maneuver first in order to teach 3803 (3803 says mama’s rule is 3803 can’t learn a axe move unless it’s from someone else who’s mastered it).

They all treat 3803 like a little sister. Except 1146. He sees her as a kindred spirit he can relate to and see as his equal. He’s the only one who notices when she’s sad and that she stays up late at night, staring out the window in endless starry darkness. It reminds him a lot back when he used to wonder what he did wrong to ruin his family (it took him a long time to believe he wasn’t the cause of his family falling apart). He knows 3803 is feeling the same thing. At first he just watched her secretly. Then he moved to sit next to her and silently sat there together until she was ready to move. Eventually they both opened up about how they want to feel like they can be better again. 

One day 3803 gave them all salty treats. She said she wanted to give them something good for this day and she knows they prefer salty and bitter over sweet stuff. Months later they realize that day was Valentine’s day and she received NOTHING from anyone. They panic and start cooking up a grand present to give her in both thanks and apology. 3803 didn’t mind and wasn’t expecting anything from them. She actually got a ton of heart shaped chocolates from 1110 and 5100 so she felt good that day. 

When next year comes so do the female students. Among them are 5100 who instantly starts mothering 3803 and going big sister/best friend mode. Eosinophil who joins the Mixed martial arts club and, with 5100, joins the hall monitors for the female part of the dorms. Alongside her is NK. Who quickly butts heads with Killer T and establishes she’s the top hall monitor now and her people (5100 and Eosinophil) will be smarter then his (they have a history. Their families thought about a arranged marriage for them. But all it took was one meeting to nope out of that) in catching bad behavior. 

3803 always looks to NK for safety or help as far as the two lead hall monitors go. Even if Killer T is right there. He tries not to feel irritated (he fails) or bad that that’s probably because she’s scared of his rough attitude. NK at least acts competent and only yells at people who insult her first (unless it’s Killer T). 

When the girls go to a overseas trip somewhere. 1146 isn’t panicked at all and us perfectly confident she’ll be fine in the older girls care. That is until she’s gone and he syarts reading news reports on abduction or lost tourists and he calls his dad to bring up the helicopter. His dad is like sure son I was on my way to do this on my own. Lets make following her around a father son thing. Sure dad thanks for being on the same page! They spend the whole break trailing her and making sure she has a great time and doesn’t get lost or mugged. 

For while now 3803 has been trying to gain the reputation as a reliable delivery person. She always offers to take things for teachers and students from the council to other places and people. She gets lost in such a big school. But she slowly gains the cred she is willing and able to be trusted with jobs. It gets to the point she will be sent outside of school to deliver or pick up packages and it becomes a official student job. She has her own bicycle.

1146 secretly picked up sewing and knitting to make 3803 a beret hat (the one she has in canon) after she complained about how bright the sun is. He spends a long time on it. But he’s able to give it to her own her birthday. He even made it shaped like a red blood cell so she can be inspired. She loves it and never takes it off. She even sleeps with it.

Near Christmas the rivalry between the bullies and the squad gets more and more intense. It reaches it’s boiling point when they start picking on 3803. They see how she cleans up after the squad and treats them to baked goodies. They offer her payment of not bothering her 8f she does the same for them. But she refuses because the squad hates them and she’s scared of them too. They retaliate by grabbing her from her bedroom at night and locking her in a shack on the woods. Unfortunately for her It’s both a deadly blizzard that night and she starts freaking out because the last time she was abducted her dad died. She’s very afraid whoever got her (she knows it was the bullies. But they wore masks and she has no physical proof of them doing it) will hurt her friends. She breaks out if the shack and tries to find her way back as she can still see the school. However that’s when the blizzard starts and the school goes on lockdown mode. 5100 checks in on 3803 but finds her bed empty. Soon enough everyone is trying to find her. 1146 remembers the bullies messing with her earlier and, screwing consequences, corners the leader and starts wailing on him with his fists. Demanding to know where 3803 is. He tells 4989 to alert the teachers and and heads out into the dangerous snow storm to find her. Luckily for him Basophils dogs saw and followed her and one of them stayed with her while the other found 1146 and lead him to her. She’s not responsive to his calls. Her tears are frozen and she’s vshowing no signs of life. He carries her back by following the dogs and seeing the search lights ahead of him. She’s sent to the infirmary for the night and then taken to the hospital first chance they get in the morning.

Needless to say everyone goes berserk and the two groups really go at it. The teachers can’t even break them up at first. When things die down a bit and Killer T’s hall monitors help the teachers break up the fight. Everyone is sent to the infirmary to recover. Days later, after 5100 tells them about 3803’s descriptions of the masks, NK and Eosinophil show up with the masks matching 3803’s descriptions and having found them in the bullies club room. The bullies get expelled and are forced to fave the law.

From that moment 1146 decides to not become a doctor. He knows his true calling is a cop and tells his dad right away when he shows up to visit them. 1110 right away starts telling him he’ll research whatever he needs to fullfil his dream. 2001, 2626, 2048 and 4989 also decide to follow 1146. They all want to know how to protect people better (hey look I’m sneaking in the famous cop and mailwoman au!). 

When 3803 finally comes back everyone is excited! Then the boys realize in the time she was gone they let the club become twice as dirty then it was when she first cleaned it. They spend the entire time trying to clean the club to perfevtion because they know she’ll insist on cleaning. Eosinophil is the biggest slob of them all so she works extra hard to annihilate her filth. 

1146 makes it a habit to check on her every night and every morning. One morning she’s gone and he freaks out and nearly knocks 5100 down when he runs into her and tells her 3803’s missing! She calmly leads him to NK’s room and opens the door to reveal a snoring NK with a 3803 curled up like a kitten in bed with her. 3803 had a nightmare and went to the girls room to spend the night with one of them. 

When everyone but 3803 graduates years later, she promises to keep the club going and find people who will join it because she’s the mascot. To everyone’s shock, 2001 is the one who gets teary eyed first. She has to tell the boys not to cry only to start crying herself. They’re all going to miss each other.

3803 rooms with 4201 and the two end up running for school council,and recruiting people into the mixed martial arts club. 3803 and 1146 stay pen pals as he works hard to become a accomplished cop. They manage to meet later when 3803 is a young woman who’s graduated and about to attend her first job at the postal services. 1146 does a double take because 3803 is a woman. 2626 dryly points out duh obviously. But 1146 really sees her in a new light.

Yeah that’s it. I kind of plopped whatever thought came into my,mind all day so maybe there’s more. This ends the school life and morphs into the popular cop and mailwoman au. 1146 gets flustered by this new dynamic where he’s falling hard for her. She’s trying to sort out her adult life. Cancer probably shows up and there’s a murder mystery. Maybe 3803’s mom shows up or 3803 is confronted with the fact she’s probably dead. 1110 is a doting papa wolf who’s totally his son’s wingman. Shrugs. 

[dramaticlester]

Marnie and mable

summary: there’s something missing from the lives of dan, phil, and their adopted daughter, marnie. perhaps a bit of golden fur will help that.

genre: fluff

warnings: food mention

marnie was the love of their lives. she was beautiful, smart, and accepted them quickly and whole-heartedly. marnie had been 3 years old when they adopted her, her wide green eyes almost impossible to say no to. dan insisted that might be a problem since phil would get down on two knees and beg to anyone to make her happy, but he assured him he could be strict if necessary. marnie fit in with them well. the perfect combination of both (apart from her apparent love for ballet.)

dan was getting marnie ready for her ballet lesson when she first called him dad.

“dad, can you tie my shoes tight?” it was pretty incoherent, she was 3 after all, but dan heard it loud and clear. he choked back tears as he said a pathetic “yes,” then kissed the side of her head. marnie didn’t understand, she just smiled and patted his curls with her hand as he was bent down. dan cried to phil when they got home later that evening.

phil was cooking dinner when marnie waltzed in, her ballet costume taken off and replaced by fluffy dumbo pajamas.

“food, pa?” she said, a little hand tugging insistently at phils bottoms.

he was more composed, “it’ll be about 10 minutes, mar. why don’t you help dad with the table?”

he didn’t cry, really, it was just because he was cutting onions.

marnie turned 4, and then 5, and then 6. dan and phil swelled with pride every single day for their little girl. she was excelling at school, she loved music and sitting on dan’s lap as he played piano, and her ballet dances were enough to bring them to tears. she was wonderful, well and truly.

they were sat down at dinner, looking over marnies school report, when marnie said to them, “dads, i’ve been good.”

dan raised an eyebrow, sipping his glass of water before clearing his throat, “you have.”

“and you said you’d treat me if i did well,” she pushed, her eyes wide. over the years, her hair had gotten longer and coiled adorably over her shoulders, framing her chubby cheeks and beautiful little face perfectly.

“what do you have in mind, mar?” phil said, trying to suppress his grin. he knew; marnie had been pestering for a year.

“well, my teacher said theres an adoption fair at the dog home,” she hinted.

“we’ll think about it, marn,” dan smiled. “we promise, okay?”

“okay, dad,” she nodded. because she was polite like that. she took her dads words all of the time and never second-guessed. for dan, it wasn’t a hard decision. he wanted a dog so badly and couldn’t wait to see marnies face light up. phil was a bit more hesitant.

“it’s not that i don’t want a dog, love,” phil said as they climbed into bed, dan’s head hitting phils chest as soon as it could. he wound an arm around his waist. “it’s just a lot of responsibility.”

“we said that when we adopted marnie and look how that turned out,” dan smiled. he heard phil sigh and dan was satisfied that he’d won.

“okay, love. we’ll go down to the shelter this weekend.”

“thankyou, love you.”

“i love you, more.”

marnie was bouncing when they told her the news over breakfast.

“-but once we get a dog, you have to keep up your good behaviour, marnie,” phil said sternly, looking at her. “id like to think you haven’t just been behaving for the possibility of a dog.”

“i haven’t, pa, i promise. imma be good,” marnie said, crossing her heart like dan had always taught her. dan smiled at her, reaching across to rub her shoulder before eating his cereal.

“good girl”, phil nodded, finally letting his own excitement set in. they were going to get a dog.

the shelter was brimming with life once they arrived. dogs of all shapes and sizes were forcefully wagging their tails and looking at them.

“dan,” phil whispered, tightening the grip he had on his hand. “how’re we gonna choose?”

dan gulped, “i don’t know.”

they walked round the shelter, looking in all of the cages and listening to the owner describe all the dogs. all of them had been lovely so far, but a lot of them weren’t child-friendly or would be difficult to train, which would be important around marnie.

“-now this one,” the owner said, pointing to a fluffy golden retriever. “she’s the sweetest girl you’ll ever meet. she’s great around children and other dogs. she’s well-trained already. she’s only 3 years old and she loves to play.”

“could i ask why she’s here?” dan said, watching marnie as she moved towards the cage, reaching out her fingers so the goldie could lick them. marnie giggled as the dog wagged her tail.

“her owner passed away, unfortunately,” she said sadly. “her owner was a lovely old man who loved her more than life, as his family described. it’s why she’s such a wonderful family dog. it took a while for her to trust us after he died, but now she’ll talk to anyone.”

“this one,” marnie said, turning around to face them. “please. she’s three like i was when you adopted me!”

they didn’t miss the smile that graced the owners lips.

dan and phil shared a glance and then looked to the owner. phil smiled, squeezing dan’s hand with a nod.

“we’ll adopt her.”

it’d been 3 months since they’d adopted their little bundle of golden fluff. she was the most lovable little tyke around, always favouring to sleep on their knees, or at the end of marnies bed at night. she was playful and they loved to go on walks with her to the park. her favourite toy was a little cuddly pig and she had the warmest brown eyes, “like yours, dan,” phil had insisted.

she was fully vaccinated when they adopted her. they’d gone a bit overboard buying things, especially when they got to take her home and were presented with a bag of everything they’d need to take care of her. no one ever cared about a bit of spare, though.

“so, what will you be naming her?” the shelter owner had asked as they filled out the last of the paper work.

“mabel,” phil grinned, his hand already stoking the soft fur on top of her head. “marnie and mabel.”

[ghostofviperwrites]

Suzuki Gunz Crime Family - Chapter 4

Warnings:  Violence, language, torture 

 July 7, 1997

Shaking off the unsavory thoughts of Taka’s upbringing Minoru thought instead of how far the boy had come in those two years.  Giving him free reign to extract his revenge on his family had created an unshakeable bond with the boy.  With the participation of Kanemaru, Taichi, Iizuka and Minoru a bond had been cemented between them and Taka fit right in with the boys.  He was fondly referred to as their little brother, and they would be lying if they said they didn’t have a protective streak when it came to Taka. But woe be the fool who underestimated the kid.  He had a vicious acumen that made Minoru proud.  Many were fooled by his almost adorable demeanor and calm countenance.   Those who crossed him didn’t live to tell the tale as they got introduced to an entirely different side of Taka.  

The door once again open and the attention of the group focused on the newest arrival Kyosuke Mikami. Kyosuke had adopted the moniker El Desperado, never appearing in public without a mask, keeping his identity a mystery all except for his adopted brothers.  Affectionately referred to as Despy by those closest to him the 19-year-old radiated aggression and dominance.   He had only been with the family for a little over a year, but he had been family from day one.  

Flashback February 3, 1996

Minoru strolled through the warehouse doors as if he owned the place.  Of course by the time he and his boys were done in here, he would.   Kanemaru was to his right, long metal pipe in hand whistling cheerfully as he flashed a smile at the nervous men standing around the warehouse. Iizuka hung back by the warehouse doors, baseball bat in hand as he made sure nobody left before the boss gave the say so.   Several members of Minoru’s various crews were outside dealing with the perimeter. On Minoru’s left was Taichi no visible weapon clear as his hands were tucked into his pockets, but his very essence begged someone to try him.   Screams echoing from a back room caught Minoru’s attention.  Not because of the screams, those were encountered on the daily in his line of work.  No, it was the type of screams.  These were not of terror or pain, these were screams of rage.  Turning to Taka who was guarding his back Minoru nodded in the direction of the screams, watching as Taka headed towards the sounds to gather some information for his boss.  

Taka pushed open the door to the room that housed the screams, quickly taking in the scene.  Strapped down to the table was a teenage boy, body bloodied as a man stood above him, carving his face with a knife.  

“Step away.” Taka said knife at the ready.  

“Go away boy.”  One of men mocked as they saw the young boy ordering them around. “This doesn’t concern you.”  

“it concerns my boss which means it concerns me.”  Taka said with a small smile.  “So unless Minoru comes in here and gives the okay for you to continuing cutting this poor fucker up, you’re going to back the fuck up or I’m going to fuck you up.”   The men warily glanced at each other, Taka’s utter confidence throwing them off.   He spoke as if it was a foregone conclusion that he would destroy them. Coupled with his mention of Minoru Suzuki it gave them pause.  He may not be a big name in the crime world yet, but Minoru had a quickly spreading reputation as a sadistic man who always came out on top, no matter the odds against him.  

Putting down their weapons the men filed out of the room, leaving Taka with the profusely bleeding man.  

“Let me up, I’m gonna go kill those fuckers,” the boy spat struggling against the binds holding him down.  “I’m gonna cut their fucking guts out.”  Taka smiled.   He liked this kid.  He had spirit.  Here he was all beaten and bloodied.  Cut up like a pig and all he wanted to do was get at those who had hurt him.  

Sticking his head out the door, Taka saw Minoru and company had the situation firmly in hand, some men kneeling at their feet, while bodies lay scattered around the floor.  

“I’m gonna let this kid up, kay Boss?”  Taka called getting Minoru’s attention.  “And save those two.”  He pointed at the two men kneeling with the others.  Looking at the kid he considered his little brother Minoru recognized the look on his face very well.  He imagined it was akin to his own when he had discovered Taka.  With an agreeing nod Minoru turned his attention to the blood covered men Taka had pointed out.  

Moving back into the room Taka cut the ropes binding the boy to the table, staring worriedly at him as he rose to his feet unsteadily, blood continuing in a steady stream down his face.  

“C’mon kid, let’s go meet the boss.”   Taka said gesturing for him to exit ahead of him.  The kid wasn’t going to accept help, that much was certain, so Taka didn’t offer a helping hand, instead following behind him, ready to catch him if he passed out.  Which Taka was shocked he hadn’t yet.  

Minoru looked up from his questioning of the men, frowning as he saw the kid Taka was leading towards him.   Both sides of his face were cut to ribbons, blood pouring from the wounds.  There were also gashes running down his chest, that weren’t bleeding quite a profusely. Long dyed blonde hair hung over his shoulders, the ends coated in his own blood.   Those were all attention worthy, but it was the eyes that had Minoru’s focus.  Ice blue and burning with rage and seeking vengeance.  

“He wants to gut them,” Taka told Minoru as they reached his side sounding almost proud.  

“Your name boy?” Minoru asked.

“Kyosuke Mikami” He said glaring at the men kneeling at Minoru’s feet, his fingers clenching as he imagined slicing them open as they had him.  But he wasn’t going to stop at superficial wounds, oh no, he was going to rip apart their insides.   He looked at the fierce men surrounding them.  If they let him.  He wasn’t stupid.  He knew he was hopelessly outmanned by them.  What he was surprised to see what that not one of their faces held pity for him.   Instead he saw understanding. Along with something he didn’t want to put a name to: kinship.  Kyosuke held his head up proudly, refusing to show weakness in front of them even though he was close to passing out.  

“How did you end up here Kyosuke?”  Minoru asked.

“They took me from my family.”  Kyosuke nodded at the men who had been torturing them.  “thought they could get a ransom for me.” He huffed a disillusioned laugh.  “When my family told them to keep me, that I was worthless they got angry.  Thought they could torture me into giving up information.  I don’t care what they do to me.  How much my family betrayed me.  I will not betray them.  Not until I look them in the fucking eyes before I slit their goddamn throats.”  

“Seems fair.” Minoru said getting nods of agreement from Kanemaru and Taichi.  “And what of these men.”  

“I want to turn their insides outside,” Kyosuke said fiercely, just before collapsing at Minoru’s feet.

Taka knelt down, checking Kyosuke’s pulse before casting his infamous sad eyes up at Minoru.

“Put those away Taka.” Minoru said rolling his own eyes.  “He’s already coming with us.”  

“Take these two back to our grounds.”  Minoru directed Kanemaru.   “We’ll get Kyosuke his justice.”  Looking at the rest of the men who had tried to betray his family Minoru sneered. “Taichi, Iizuka, kill the rest of them.”

With those words Minoru helped Taka carry the newest member of their family to the waiting SUV.   They would get him home and get him medical attention.  Once he was strong enough Minoru would grant him the same opportunity for vengeance that he had granted Taka.   He only hoped the boy felt the same kinship towards him and his family, that they already felt towards him.  

Two days later when Kyosuke came to, he woke in a panic surrounding by unfamiliar furnishings.  Seeing a knife on the bedside table Kyosuke blindly grabbed it and jumped from the bed swinging it defensively as he waited for an attack.  

“You won’t need that here,” A calming, somewhat familiar voice spoke making Kyosuke spin around holding the knife out.  “At least not against me.  You may wish to use it on the men waiting for you in the basement.”  He chuckled, the sound making a chill run down Kyosuke’s spine. He focused on the man, memories of him coming to his mind as he remembered him and his friends rescuing him. Slowly lowering the knife Kyosuke moved back against the wall, keeping it in his hand just in case.  

“Who are you?” Kyosuke asked.  

“My name is Minoru Suzuki.  I am the Kumichō of the Suzuki Gunz Crime Family.  This is my home.  Myself and my brothers made the decision to bring you here for recuperation. And revenge if you so wish.”  Minoru said.

“Why would you want to help me?” Kyosuke asked suspiciously.  People didn’t do things out of the goodness of their hearts.  At least not where he was from.  

“Instincts.”  Minoru said simply.  “My family is not one borne of blood.  It is made of a bond that transcends bloodlines.  We are family because we choose to be. Our instincts brought us together. Myself, Kanemaru, Iizuka and Taichi. Then little Taka came along and we opened our family to him.  And now we wish to do the same for you.”

“You don’t know me,” Kyosuke sneered.  “You’re just going to open your house to some strange kid whose own family doesn’t want him?  Aren’t you worried about what’s wrong with me that they don’t love me? That they would just hand me over without a complaint.”  

“I understand trust is difficult and will take time to form.  I just hope you will look past your anger and see what the five of us have seen.”  Minoru said peering at the angry boy.   He didn’t blame the kid for being suspicious. Going by the little he knew, Minoru could tell he was unused to kindness.  “I will tell of you none of us come from ideal situations.  All I was to my father was an heir to carry on the greatness of his name.   Taichi’s father beat him mercilessly and forced him into servitude.  Iizuka was abandoned by his family and left on the streets.  Taken in by my father who forced him to service.  Kanemaru was raised by parents who never wanted a child and made sure he knew it.   Taka survived unspeakable abuse by those called his blood.  Blood means nothing to us.”  Minoru spat trying to swallow back the rage that always formed when he thought about the injustices his brothers had experienced.  “I will let them reveal their full stories to you should you elect to stay.  Understand you are under no obligation.  I will not force choices onto anyone I bring under my protection.  If you wish to exact your vengeance and move on, that is your choice.  We will assist you in any way you wish.”  

Kyosuke sunk down onto the end of the mattress, his mind whirling as he tried to comprehend this complete stranger offering him something his own family never extended.  Acceptance.   His face dropped to his hands making him feel the bandages reminding him of his wounds.  Woodenly rising to his feet, he approached the mirror on the wall staring at his reflection.  Swallowing back the bile threatening to rise he ripped at the bandages throwing them on the floor as he stared at his reflection.  Three rows of stitches on the left side with four down the right.   Three diagonal rows stretching from his pecs to his ribs.  

“The cuts didn’t do any permanent nerve damage as far as the doctor can tell, but they are going to leave rather significant scarring.”  Minoru said softly.  

“Great.”  Kyosuke muttered sarcastically.  “Guess now I’m really a freak.”

“Never.”  Minoru said emphatically. “You are not a freak.  You are a survivor.  A warrior.   You should have no shame in who you are.”   Minoru watched the play of emotions; anger, sadness, desperation, resilience.  After several moments of silence Minoru spoke “Kyosuke?”

“No.  Don’t call me that.”  Kyosuke spat with an emphatic shake of his head.  “I don’t want to ever be called that again.”

“Fair enough.”  Minoru said.  “What would you like to be called?”

Kyosuke stared back at the mirror, flames of anger burning deep inside.  A desperate desire raging.  

“El Desperado.”

[avengerscompound]

At a Cellular Level - Part 3

At a Cellular Level: A Captain America Fanfic

Masterlist PREVIOUS //

Buy me a ☕ Character Pairing:  Steve Rogers x OFC (Alex Swann)

Word Count:  4598

Warnings:  Angst, mentions of torture, violence, major character death, virgin reader, smut (M|F oral sex, vaginal fingering, vaginal sex, loss of virginity (Steve and Readers))

Synopsis:  Steve no longer trusts Alex, and Alex continues to hold back the truth from him. When she finally comes clean they think of a way she can start using her powers for good.

Part Three

Alex sat in the sun outside the small, wood cabin she and Steve had made their home for the past two months.  Steve had gone for a run as was his usual ritual.  He always invited her, but she hated running and she couldn’t keep up with him anyway, so she didn’t bother.  

They had been hurt.  Mostly by other people.  The events surrounding the Sokovia Accords had destroyed Steve.  He was not the same person she had known when they’d met all those years ago when he’d rescued her from SHIELD.  Back then he had thought he’d lost everything.  He had since learned he had no idea back then what losing everything actually felt like.  He had now lost his friends, his freedom, the people he loved, his connection to the past, his home.  All he had now was Alex, and he still didn’t trust Alex.  Not since she’d run off on him breaking his heart.

Alex had lost a lot of things too.  She had lost her childhood.  Her chance of normalcy. Her stepfather had used her as a scientific guinea pig and made her a weapon.  He had then tortured her and made her a monster.  When she left Steve, she had gone to wreak vengeance on all those who had done her wrong and only come out more damaged than before.  She had so much blood on her hands there was no way she could ever get clean. She had returned to Steve to make things right.  She loved him.  He loved her too, but the trust, that might never return.

So she practiced using her abilities.  She would create life, restore it, fix others who were broken.  She held a flower in her hand and watched a butterfly land on a nearby blade of grass.  She studied it, looking at the differences in its cells, what made it a butterfly and not a bee, or the blade of grass it sat on.  She looked down at the flower and compared them, and her powers engaged.  She cupped the flower in her hands and focused on changing it, rearranging it’s DNA.   Sparks flew from her eyes as she burned energy rewriting the genetic structure of the plant that was already dying in her hand.  When she stopped she opened her hands, and a butterfly identical to the one she’d just been studying flapped it’s wings and flew off.

She collapsed back into the grass staring into the sky.  She felt a little dizzy. Changing a plant into something with a complex nervous system required a lot of energy.  She closed her eyes, just considering taking a nap in the morning sun when she heard the sound of tires on the gravel out the front.

Alex got to her feet, her powers engaged, ready for a fight, and ran to the front of the house.  There was a black car out the front.  A Tesla, which explained why she hadn’t heard it before.  A man started getting out of the car.  

“Get back in that car!”  Alex screamed.  Her skin was crackling with static electricity.  Her powers wanted to unleash themselves on this man who had invaded her home.

“Who are you? Where’s Cap?”  The man asked.  He looked defensive but hadn’t taken on any kind of fighting stance.

“If you think for one second, I will let you get to him …”

The man laughed. It was a loud pleasant bark of a laugh.  “Chill woman, I’m a friend.  Get Steve.”

There was a cry from across the field.  “Alex!”  Steve yelled.  “Power down!”

Alex glanced around in a panic.  “Tell me who you are.  I won’t let you take him.” She growled.

“I’m not here to take anyone, sparky.  Listen to Steve.”

Steve had finally reached them.  He reached a hand out towards Alex like he was trying to soothe a frightened animal.  “Alexandra, power down.  He’s a friend.  You’re safe.  I’m safe.”

“Steve?” She said the fear obvious in her voice.  

“Alex. You’re safe.  This is Sam.  You’re safe.  Power down.”  Steve reassured her.  

“This is Sam?”

“That’s right.  Now power down.”

She took a deep breath and shut her powers down.  She felt light headed and staggered forward.  Steve caught her, holding her against him, soothing her.

“Cap,” Sam said, nodding to his friend.

“Hi, Sam,”  Steve said smiling and shaking his head.  “Come inside.”

Steve helped Alex into the house and sat her at the kitchen table.  He went to the pantry and pulled out some protein bars, piling them in front of Alex.  She tore one open and shoved it in her mouth.  He turned to Sam and embraced him.  They thudded each other on the back.

“It’s good to see you.  What are you doing here though?  Has there been trouble?”  Steve asked.

“No more than usual.  Just thought I’d stop in.  See how you were doing.” Sam shrugged trying to play it off as nonchalant.  He’d been worried about his friend being trapped out her alone.  He hadn’t counted on the lightning chick though.  “What’s with the bottomless pit here?”  Alex was already on her forth energy bar.  

“Sam, this is Alex,”  Steve said.  He went to the fridge and pulled out a beer and handed it to Sam, he then poured a glass of milk for Alex. She took it and started drinking as soon as it was within reach. “She’s … well, we …”

Sam started laughing and sat down on the chair opposite Alex. “Oh I see.  What about you and …”  He made a strange hand gesture that didn’t really mean anything except that Steve knew exactly what he meant.  Steve shook his head, and Sam dropped it.

“And the eye shit?”  Sam asked wiggling his fingers next to his eyes.

“I’m enhanced,”  Alex answered through a mouth full of food.  She was getting sick of them talking about her like she wasn’t there.

“Like witchy?”  Sam asked.

“Sort of.  They’d give each other a run for their money.”  Steve said putting his hand on Alex’s shoulder.  “She alters DNA.  I’m glad I made it to you when I did.  You don’t back down easy, do you?”

Alex shook her head.   She felt embarrassed.  She didn’t want to be the violent person she was, but the first sense of threat and she’d gone into destruction mode.  She could have killed Steve’s friend.  She got up.  “I’m going to go lie down.  I made a butterfly before he got here.  I’m a bit tired now.”

Alex left the room and went and lay in her bed, listening.

“She made a butterfly?” Sam said shaking his head after she left the room.

Steve sat down in the chair that Alex was so recently occupying.  “Yeah. She’s pretty powerful.  If she has organic matter available to her she could potentially do anything with it.  Takes a lot of energy though.  Thus …”  He indicated to the pile of energy bar wrappers.

“Now, tell me really, Cap.  What’s the deal with you two.  What about Sharon?”

Steve shook his head.  “Sharon and I didn't work out.  Too much distance, not enough time.  Anyway, Alex happened before … ugh, it’s complicated.”  He dragged his hand down his face.

“Oh, an old flame then?  How did she find you?”  Sam laughed.

“SHIELD dropped her off.  Which is concerning for a few reasons.  The first being, SHIELD shouldn’t even exist right now.”  Steve answered his mood darkening.

“You trust her?  Maybe she’s a spy?”

Steve shook his head.  “She’s not a spy.  As to trusting her …”

Alex started to cry.  The tears silently running down her cheeks.  Things hadn’t been the same since she came back.  How could they be?  She had abandoned him, and he still didn’t know why, or what she’d done.

She listened to them talk but the conversation turned to things about the friends they shared who were still on the run, and something about Thor and Bruce Banner’s whereabouts.  She wanted to leave the room, and go outside again, but then they’d know she was listening in and not resting like she’d said.

She closed her eyes, and the next thing she was aware of is the bed shifting as Steve climbed in next to her.  

“Alex, you’ve been asleep all day.”  He whispered rubbing his hand up and down her arm.

She rubbed her eyes and rolled over to face him.  “I’m sorry.”  She breathed.

“It’s okay, I was just worried that you wouldn’t be able to sleep tonight.” He kissed her on the temple.  

“That’s not what I’m sorry about.”

“What is it?”  Steve asked, panicked.  What had she done now?  Or was it something she was planning on doing?

“Where’s your friend?”  

“He’s sleeping in the spare room.  Don’t deflect.”  Steve had adopted his leadership voice.  He hated using it on her.  

She pressed her face into his chest.  “When I left, I thought you didn’t love me.  I thought you had just used me.  I wanted to go away and make myself someone you would love.  Instead, I’ve made it so you don’t trust me.”  She swallowed.  “And you shouldn’t.  I killed people Steve.  I would have killed your friend.”

“Alex.” Steve shook his head.  He wasn’t sure what he should say.  “You’ve been hurt.  Badly.  By a lot of people.  I should have been aware of that on that day.  You’re always on high alert for people to continue to hurt you.  I’m sure whatever you did while you were on your own …”

Alex silenced him with a kiss.  All she wanted to right now was to make love with him.  He wouldn’t want to after she came clean, she was sure of it.  He might not hate her, or ask her to leave, but they wouldn’t be together anymore.  

The kiss was urgent and he yielded to her, letting her take control.  Her lips crashed against his, her tongue invaded his mouth.  She tugged at his shirt and he helped her remove it, and she straddled him, trailing kisses down his smooth, muscular chest.  

He moved his hands up under her shirt and just as he reached the clasp of her bra she burst into tears.  She couldn’t do this to him.  He needed to know who she had been.  Who she still was despite how hard she was trying not to be.

He sat up and held her, stroking her hair.  “What is it, Alex?  You need to talk to me.”

“I’m not good enough for you.  I’m not.  I’ll take you down with me.” She sobbed, her hand balling into a fist against his chest.

“I think I can decide that for myself, Alex.”  

“I didn’t kill people in self-defense, Steve.  I murdered them.  I murdered some random guy for information, and then I murdered my stepdad.  It wasn’t quick either.  I tortured them.  I made them feel everything they put me through.  Everything.  I need to be locked up.  I can never make up for this.  I’d have let Phil take me to the raft, but I’m afraid someone will try an use me again. I’d kill myself but I can’t die.  How do I fix this, Steve? I don’t know how to fix this.”

Steve held her.  He knew she was damaged, but he hadn’t expected this. Phil was dead, and she was talking about him like he was alive. She’d tortured people.  “You’re right, Alex.  You will never be able to fix it.  Those deaths, what you did to those people, it will be on you forever.”  He sighed and pushed her away from him. “You’re right though.  Being locked up is not the answer for you. It’s too dangerous, and it will only make things worse.  It won’t fix you.  I need to think.”

Alex went to kiss him, but he pushed her away.

“I love you, Steve.”  She sobbed, her tears causing her whole body to shake.

“I love you too, Alex.   I don’t want to lose you.  I don’t think I can take losing anyone, but I need some space.  I’m going to go sleep on the couch.”  

Alex grabbed his arm as he went to stand.  “I’ll sleep on the couch. You won’t be comfortable.  This is my fault.”

Steve nodded.  As she went to leave he took her hand and squeezed it. “Please don’t run.  Not again.”  

Alex went out to the living room and fell onto the couch.  She fell asleep crying.

Steve woke up the following morning to find the house empty.  His first thought was to panic.  She’d done it again.  He ran out on the porch and saw her in the field with Sam.  They were doubled over laughing.  Sam was wearing his flight suit and there were feathers everywhere.

He approached them both smiling.  This was the most normal and at ease, he had felt for months now.

“What’s going on here?”  He asked.

“Damn, Steve you should have seen it!”  Sam laughed, clapping him on the shoulder.  “I got up this morning and your girl was sitting there all morose, so I asked her if she wanted to see Redwing.”

“I was more interested in the wings.  I’d heard about the wings. I wanted to see them.”  Alex squeaked.  He couldn’t remember a time she ever looked so happy.

“So I got the suit out and start showing off.”

“I watched him and started thinking maybe I could make my own wings and fly.  Like I think I should be able to do it.”

“I look down at her and she’s sparking, you know the way she does. So I land to see what’s up, and these feathers just explode out of her.”

“I guess I need to really look at what real wings are like better because all I made was a ton of feathers.  They went everywhere.”

Steve looked at her and felt real warmth.  A potential for actual happiness.  He laughed and hugged her.  “You made them out of nothing?”  

She was still giggling. “No.  No.  I made them out of me.  They’re my feathers.”  She picked one off her shirt and blew it into his face.  “I probably should go eat.  I feel a little light headed.”

“That’s because you’re all feathers, woman.”  Sam laughed.  

Alex kissed Steve on the cheek and went inside.  

“She’s a weird kid, but I like her.”  Sam laughed.  “Did you two fight last night?”

Steve shook his head.  “No.  She finally came clean to me about some stuff.  It’s not pretty.”   Sam put his hand on Steve’s shoulder.  “You can talk to me you know.”

So Steve emptied out all the information onto his friend.  When he was done, Sam shook his head.  “Sounds to me like those dudes had it coming.”

“It doesn’t excuse it though.”  Steve sighed.

“You forgave Bucky.”

“Buck didn’t know what he was doing.”

Sam laughed.  “You think she was all there when she did those things?  At least she’s trying to make up for what she did instead of just hiding.”

That hurt.  Steve turned away from his friend.  

“Do you think she could help the green guy out?  Fix his anger management issues?”  Sam asked.

“Banner?  Hey, that’s not a bad idea.”

It took a little while to track down Banner.  Steve didn’t have the resources they used to have, and Banner didn’t want to be found.  It was actually Alex that was able to find him.  A call to SHIELD and within two days she had exact coordinates for him.  

They piled out of the car when they arrived at the abandoned warehouse he was supposed to be inhabiting.  Alex was terrified.  The whole trip had taxed her emotionally.  Steve knew it was hard on her, but he also knew she needed to do it.  She had to prove to herself she wasn’t a danger to the rest of the world.

Sam took her hand as they approached the building.  “You’re gonna be okay, Feathers.”  He said giving it a squeeze.  She looked at him and smiled.  

They entered the building.  Steve couldn’t quite believe what he was seeing.  The Quinjet was in the hanger, but it had been altered.  It was beginning to look more like a spacecraft.

“Captain?”  

They turned to the voice.  Bruce Banner came walking out of an office to the left of them.  He was wiping his glasses on his grubby singlet.

“Doctor Banner,”  Steve said nodding to his old friend.  “It’s been a long time.”

“What are you doing here, Steve?  Come to arrest me?”  

Sam barked out a laugh.  

“I would have hoped you knew me better than that, Bruce.  Besides, all of us here are fugitives.  Haven’t you heard.”

Alex frowned, wanting to correct him, but deciding against it.  She may not be a fugitive, but she should be.

“I had heard there had been a little trouble.  So what is it then? Come to recruit me to your new cause?  I’m not interested.”

Steve shook his head.   “No.  We’ve come to help.”

Bruce sat surveying Alex.  She was standing at the window staring out through the filth that had accumulated on it.  She kept drawing shapes in the dirt.  Love hearts, and snowflakes.  He wasn’t convinced.  

“Do you know how many dead ends I’ve chased trying to cure myself?”  He sighed.  “I can’t get my hopes up again.”  

“She is very powerful, Bruce.  You can test her first. Draw some blood.  She can do this.”  Steve implored.

“Banner!”  A loud booming voice yelled, and Thor burst through the door.  Alex jumped out of her skin.  Her eyes sparked and she threw her hands out in front of her in a defensive stance.

“Steve!  My friend!  What brings you here?”  Thor exclaimed, approaching Steve his arms held out.  Steve stood and embraced him.  

“They think they can cure me,”  Bruce said and laughed.  It was a hollow laugh, with no joy in it at all.

“But this is good news!  How have you come across this cure?”  

Alex had relaxed her powers.  She had heard of Thor.  Seen him on the television.  She knew he wasn’t a risk to her.   “That would be me.”  

Thor looked at her and approached her a scowl on his face.  “You look familiar, child.  Who are your parents?”

Alex stumbled back from him.  He may not be a threat to her, but his size still made him intimidating.   “I don’t know.”  She stammered.  “My mom is – is just no one.  I don’t know my dad.  I look like my dad.”

Thor frowned and turned back to the others.  “Well, what are we waiting for?  If she has your cure, you should be using it.”

Bruce sighed and led them into his lab.  He drew some blood and poured it into a Petri dish.   It bubbled and grew in volume, it’s contents overflowing the dish.  Alex took Bruce’s face in her hand and stared into him, examining his cells, looking for the thing that had been changed in him that was doing this to him.  When she was sure she had the cause of the problem and could see the solution she turned to the dish and hovered her hand over it.  Her eyes sparked and the blood in the dish settled returning to its original volume.

“Is that it?”  Steve asked when her eyes had returned to normal.

“Yeah.  It was easy.”  She smiled.  Steve tucked a lock of her pitch black hair behind her ear.  She snuggled into his chest.

Bruce wasn’t convinced.  He thudded on the table beside the dish. The tray jumped, and blood spilled over the edge, but it remained the same volume as before.  Bruce took the dish and put it under a microscope.  Prodding it.  Trying to make it angry.  

“I don’t believe it.  You actually did it.”

There weren’t a lot of places to sleep in the old hanger.  Sam stayed behind and slept in the Quinjet, but Steve and Alex went and checked in to a dingy motel up the road.  Alex checked in under a fake name and paid cash.  The guy who ran it didn’t bother checking any of her details.  She rewarded him by curing his arthritis while his back was turned on her.  

Alex stepped through the door of their room.  It smelled of mold and cigarettes and she wrinkled her nose.  Steve placed a hand on the middle of her back.  She turned to face him.

“I am really proud of you, Alex.”  He said, pulling her into his arms.  “I’m sorry I’ve been so distant with you since you got back. I’ve been having trouble seeing the girl I fell in love with.”

Alex wrapped her arms around his waist.  “You can see her now?”

Steve nodded and placed a light kiss on her temple.  

“Steve.”  Alex breathed.  “I need you.”

The words awoke something in him.  He wanted to make love to her like they hadn’t since the first time.  Really connect with her again.  He cupped her chin in his large hand and kissed her, guiding her back towards the bed.  Her fingers fumbled at the buttons on his shirt as their lips caressed each other.  The first time they had made love Alex had been the confident one.  She knew what she wanted, and she wasn’t afraid of it.  Steve was shy, uncertain, afraid of making a mistake.  It was like their roles had been reversed.  Alex was scared that if she made one wrong move it would be over again. She would lose him for good.  Steve just wanted her.

He pulled his shirt off, throwing it in the corner of the room, and then grabbed her's and yanked it off over her head.  She unhooked her bra, and let it fall from her arms.  There was a brief pause as they admired each other’s physique.  They had both been made thanks to the super soldier serum.  Steve’s muscular body a direct result of the serum, giving him height and muscle mass.  Her body, however, was crafted by her to be exactly what she wanted.  It was like it was airbrushed and straight from the pages of a magazine.  

He fell on her, kissing her, exploring her mouth, grazing his teeth over her lips.  He moved along her jaw, nipping at her earlobe, causing her to moan and her head to roll back.  He kissed down her neck, sucking on the skin, biting at it, knowing he couldn’t mark her, but trying anyway.  He ran the point of his tongue along her collar bone, and as he did he lifted her up and moved her back onto the bed, so she was lying in the middle of it.  He moved to her breasts.  He sucked one nipple into his mouth and bit at the hard peak.  She gasped and arched against him.  He loved how her body responded to him.  He needed it.  Craved it.

He moved further down, trailing his lips along her skin.  He reached the top of her shorts and he yanked them from her.  He bit the inside of her thigh and sucked on the skin.  

“Please, Steve.”  Alex murmured.  It felt like she was a bundle of tightly wound, exposed nerves, waiting for release.  Her whole body screamed out for him.  She wanted him.  Needed him to take her.

His tongue entered her folds.  She whined and squirmed under him. He lapped at her.  When his tongue hit her clit it sent a shock wave through her and she made this guttural primal sound.  He pushed two fingers inside of her moist entrance.  She cried out bucking against him.

“Steve, please.  I need you.”  She moaned as he worked his fingers inside of her, rolling them inside, as she clenched her walls around him.  

He sat up and unfastened his fly, pushing his trousers down.  He moved so he was positioned above her.  His cock pressed against her mound.  

“I love you, Steve,”  Alex whispered, reaching her hands to his face, tracing them along his lips, and down his jaw.

He kissed her, it was deep and tender and full of all the desire he had for her.  For them together.  He entered her.  

They were as one again, moving, clenching, thrusting together, bringing each other closer and closer to climax.  The began to moan, and grunt against each other.  Alex ran her hands through Steve’s hair, tugging at it.  When they came, they came together, holding each other.  Moaning each other’s name.

Alex stood in the clearing of the forest facing Bruce.  She felt calm and in control.  The others had taken them to a place far from anywhere, where no one could be hurt if something went wrong.  They were on comms, listening but out of reach if they Hulk came to defend his place on this world.  Alex was not worried though.  The Hulk couldn’t hurt her, and she could do this.

“Are you ready?”  Alex asked smiling at Bruce.  

“I’m not sure.  I feel like this is too good to be true.”  He said.  He was jittery, rubbing his hands up and down his arms.

“You need to be calm.  He’s going to fight back.”

Bruce sighed.  “I know, which is exactly why I’m not calm.”

Alex put her hands on Bruce’s chest and slid them outwards.   “I can do this.”

Bruce took a deep breath and nodded.

She looked into him again, assessed his cells and her powers engaged.  She started changing him, repairing the cells, sending the repaired cells out to replace the damaged ones.  It was going well, not rapidly, but smoothly.  He was changing, returning to the person he was supposed to be.

The Hulk fought back.  His body started changing, the damaged cells fighting for control.  Alex doubled down, fighting him, changing them back.  Bruce tried to control it, tried to hold the Hulk back, keep him buried.   He fell to the ground, panting, his body convulsing. She knelt down beside him, holding him as she focused on fixing this.

She had this.  She did.  She was winning.  

And then she wasn’t.  Her energy dropped.  She couldn’t keep it up. He was wrestling control from her.

Bruce looked up at her, his face contorted in pain.  “Run!”  He yelled.

She powered down and ran.  She didn’t get far.  The Hulk had her. He held her in one hand, crushing her.  She tried to use her powers to protect herself, they engaged, her skin became a hard shell.  The Hulk smashed her onto the ground and the shell shattered.  Her energy was waning.  

“Steve!”  She screamed.  “Steve!  Can you hear me!”

“What is it, Alex?  What’s happened!”

The Hulk was crushing her, she could feel her bones crack and break under the pressure he exerted on her.  As they broke they repaired, draining her of more energy only to have them break again.  “The Hulk.  He won.  I couldn’t do it.”  

The world started to swim, he was crushing the life from her.  

“We’re coming, Alex.  We’ll get you.”  

“It’s too late, Steve.  I love you.”  She said.  It was barely a whisper.  This was right.  She needed to die.  She didn’t belong in this world.  Steve would be sad, but he’d move on.  She would be at peace knowing for one night she had been good enough for him.  “I love you, okay.”

“Alex, stay with me.  I love you, please hold on.  We’re coming.”

That was the last thing she heard.  The world went black.

~ END ~

[hymn2000]

Ideal Confusion - MCU AU Fanfic - C10

(Title subject to change)

Story summary: Giving into the constant pressure from the press, Tony decides to put a rest to the rumours that Peter is his biological son - once and for all.

Previous Chapter(s): 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9

Part of my Frostiron and Spiderson series.

Warnings/themes: family, family stuff, adoption, DNA test(s), pressure, peer pressure, social issues, mentions of alcoholism, mental health problems, potentially some minor medical inaccuracies, mentions of corporal punishment, hurt/comfort

You can also find me on AO3

Chapter 10 - We’re Crippled And We’re Dazed

-

When Peter woke up, he had a feeling things were no better than when he’d fallen asleep. Loki had gone, which was the first warning sign. The stereo being turned off was the second one.

-

Tony held Loki’s hand, but refused to look at him.

“This hasn’t really come at the best time” Loki sighed. “Are you still going to that conference tomorrow?”

“Are you still going away with Jo Jo?”

“I asked first”

“...I probably should. Pepper needs me there. Professionally, obviously...” he swallowed. “Your turn”

“...This night away is already a replacement for the ward-wide trip that fell through. You know he took that quite hard” Loki said. “It would be a shame to cancel it. But at the same time...”

“You should go. I’m gonna be away overnight anyway, so you may as well”

Loki thought for a moment. “What about the baby?”

“What do I care?”

“Don’t be like that!” Loki said, pulling his hand away. “Now are you going to talk to him or not?”

“And say what?” Tony said, finally turning to look at him. “Say; ‘hey kid, so it seems you did come from my jizz after all. Sorry I can’t remember who your mother was!’. Get real, Loki! How do you think that’s gonna go down?”

“He wants to talk to you, Tony. He needs to. He’s got a lot of questions, and I think you have a lot to answer for”

“I don’t remember the kids mother, alright? How could I? What exactly is it I’m supposed to answer for? I’m just that minority who had dodgy contraception one time, and it resulted in... that. So what?”

“Ok, so you may not have that sort of answer” Loki said. “But you can talk to him about how you’re both feeling and about what you might be thinking. You owe him that much at least”

“Why?!”

“Why?! Because he’s your son! He’s only alive because of you! You’re the reason he exists!”

Tony looked a little taken aback. “Are you shouting at me?”

“Almost! You can’t just sulk in here forever!”

“I’m not! Can’t I take five minutes to gather my thoughts?”

“You’ve had five hours!” Loki sighed heavily, irritably. “You’re not the only one going through this! You’re not the only one affected by those DNA results. You need to talk to your son!”

Tony stood up. “No. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got a long day tomorrow, so I’m gonna go and pack. You should probably think about doing the same”

“But what about Peter?”

“I don’t care!” Tony snapped, and he stormed out of the room.

Loki growled in annoyance. Part of him wanted to run after his stubborn bastard of a husband and shake some sense into him. But another part of him knew that was a bad idea. 

-

Loki bumped into Peter in the corridor. He sighed and put an arm round the boys shoulders.

“Do you remember me saying that me and Jo Jo are going away?”

Peter thought for a moment. “That’s... tomorrow, right?”

“Yes, and your father’s got that conference, remember?”

Peter nodded. “Are you..?”

“We’re both keeping to our plans”

“We got... we got all wrapped up in the press and stuff. I forgot” Peter said.

Loki lead him into his bedroom. “You can keep me company while I pack”

Peter sat down on Loki’s bed, touching the black silk covers gently. He didn’t spend so much time in Loki’s room anymore, but, looking around, it looked just the same as always: the same furniture, much of the same decor, the same pictures on the walls, the big snow globe collection, the Betty Boop lamp, the old Snoopy toy on the chair by the wardrobe... There was something comforting about it.

Loki got out a small case. Peter watched him pack the usual overnight stuff, and then his pill box, and his Musselflex, and his book, and his notebook, and his holiday mug with the Flopsy Bunnies on it.

“What about your pig?”

“I’ll pack him in the morning” Loki said. 

Peter looked at the scrubby old Ikea pig lounging on the bed. He’d always like that Loki had a cuddly toy, and especially in recent times, he’d found it reassuring to know that his father slept with a cuddly toy in his arms. It made him feel better about doing it himself. It seemed to be a bit of a family thing, as even Tony was partial to curling up with a teddy bear. 

“Where’s dad?”

“Packing” Loki said, rearranging his case.

Peter stood up.

“Peter, I wouldn’t if I were you”

“But I’m not you” Peter said, and he went anyway. 

-

Tony’s ears pricked up when he heard his bedroom door crack open.

“Loki, leave me alone!”

“Guess again...”

Tony looked over his shoulder, and then turned and straightened up, looking at Peter. For a moment they just looked at each other, and then, slowly, cautiously, Peter approached, stopping a couple of feet from him. Tony reached out and gently touched Peter’s face, and then ran his fingers through the boys hair, looking at him carefully. He pulled back for a second, and then pushed the boys curls back firmly from his forehead, and looked him in the eye.

“I didn’t know”

“I know...”

Peter wasn’t sure what to do. He felt almost sick with nerves and tension, and there was the very real possibility that Tony would lash out at him again. All he really knew was that he didn’t want to leave just yet. 

Tony rested his free hand on Peter’s shoulder, and just when it looked at though he was going to pull him close, he cleared his breath and withdrew. 

“Go to bed” he said, turning his back on him. “I need to pack”

-

Peter couldn’t face going back to Loki after that, although he quite wanted to. He went to his room instead, where he threw his clothes off and crawled into bed. He wasn’t sure what to think, but aside from his mixed up feelings about what they’d found out today, he also felt like he was about to be abandoned. His parents were both getting ready for separate trips, and one night was going to feel like a long time under these circumstances. Loki was off with Jo Jo, and the thought of going with them had never crossed his mind, but Tony had said he’d see if he could take Peter along to this conference. Somehow he didn’t think that was going to happen now. He wasn’t sure whether he should pack an overnight bag or not. He guessed not. Chances were, he’d be left at home and Thor or one of the Avengers would stop over to keep an eye on him. He hoped Tony would talk to him before then, because he really needed to know how much he was allowed to share.

-

Peter slept late, and he would have stayed asleep if he hadn’t been woken up by his phone going off. He jumped considerably, and, grabbing the handset, growled in annoyance when he realised he’d accidentally set an alarm. Still, it was very nearly midday, so he dragged himself out of bed.

It wasn’t as easy as it should have been, as he was struggling to open his eyes, and his head felt funny and the room seemed to be moving a bit too much, and he felt like if he stopped moving he’d fall asleep and collapse. Despite all this, he managed to have a quick wash and get dressed. He was just about to go and find Tony when there was a knock, and his door opened.

“Oh, you’re awake” Loki said, surprised. “You need to get an overnight bag packed, chick”

“Oh!”

“You should probably get something to eat first, though”

Peter nodded. “I’m gonna go and talk to dad”

“He’s already left, sweetheart” Loki said. “I thought you knew. I thought he would’ve... Never mind; you’ll see him tomorrow, and you can ring him tonight”

Peter was quiet for a moment, trying to make sense of everything in his head.

“If he’s gone without me, why do I need an overnight bag?”

“You’re coming with me” Loki said. “Get yourself something to eat, chick. Time is of the essence”

“I’m not hungry”

Loki sighed and put an arm round him. “You still need to eat. You didn’t eat anything last night, either. You’ve missed breakfast by staying in bed so long, and I’m not going to let you miss another meal. Go and get something to eat. No arguing”

“Why didn’t dad say goodbye to me?”

“Peter, go and get something to eat”

“I said I’m not hungry!”

“And I said you still need to eat! Do as you’re told!”

“No!”

Loki sighed heavily. “Fine, but don’t blame me when you feel sick from hunger. Now pack your overnight bag”

Peter folded his arms over his chest and shook his head.

“Fine, I’ll pack for you” Loki said. “Now, are you going to get dressed, or do I have to do that for you too?”

“...I’ll get dressed”

“Good boy” Loki nodded. “Go on, then. Jo Jo will be here within the hour”

Peter dragged himself out of bed, grabbed an armful of clothes, and went to the en suite, locking the door behind him. Why hadn’t Tony said goodbye to him? He always said goodbye to him, even if he was in a rush or leaving early. He wanted an answer. He wanted to crawl back into bed, too. He didn’t really understand why he was going away with Loki and Jo Jo. He didn’t have anything against Jo Jo, but he’d never seen him outside of the hospital. He didn’t feel up to that kind of social interaction. He wanted to stay home, but more than that, he wanted his dad.

-

Loki warned Jo Jo that Peter was in a  bad mood, and Peter did a good job of confirming that statement. He didn’t say a word, and wouldn’t look at Jo Jo properly. He dragged his feet to the car, throwing his bag unceremoniously into the back foot well. There wasn’t anything important in it, as far as he knew. Loki had packed it. Peter had shoved a handful of CDs in there, but he didn’t bother looking at what else had been packed. 

“Peter, don’t throw things about like that” Loki sighed.

Peter pouted. He didn’t have anything else to throw. Besides, one little bag wasn’t exactly going to damage Jo Jo’s little Fiat Tipo anyway. He sat in the back seat, folded his arms over his chest, and sulked. He didn’t want to be there at all.

-

It wasn’t an especially long drive, but it felt like an eternity to Peter. He’d forgotten his earphones, and he couldn’t really hear the radio over the two men talking, so he had no choice but to listen to Loki and Jo Jo laughing and bantering together for the whole journey. It was uncomfortably warm in the car, with the sun blaring in on them, and he felt sick. Maybe it was also due to not having eaten, but there was no way he was going to pipe up and admit it. 

“What’s the matter, little guy?” Jo Jo said, looking at him in the rear view mirror. “You feeling a little funny? Here”

He held a bottle of water out to him. Peter looked at it distastefully and turned pointedly to look out of the window.

“Peter, don’t be rude!” Loki said. He sighed and shook his head. “Just drop it. He’ll have it if he wants it”

“Well, if you’re sure” Jo Jo said, dropping the bottle on the back seat. 

Peter knocked it into the foot well. Jo Jo didn’t seem to see, but Loki gave him a look. Peter pretended not to notice.

-

It was a relief to finally arrive there - wherever they were. Peter looked at the house when they got out of the car. Normally, he’d have been in his element. It was a perfectly normal house, not too big and not too small. A good, healthy size, with a brass doorknocker and small pointy trees in pots either side of the front door. It was detached, with it’s own little driveway - the kind of thing Peter liked. But today, he wasn’t feeling great, so he couldn’t find it in himself to appreciate the little bit of normality before him. 

“Oh, I’ve just thought of something” Jo Jo said as they got the bags from the car. “It’s only two bedrooms. One with a double bed, one with a single”

“I remember you saying” Loki said.

“Well, since we have the extra person” Jo Jo looked at Peter, who glared at him. He simply smiled, and then winked at Loki. “Looks like we’re gonna have to share tonight”

“Don’t be a fool, Jo Jo” Loki said, but he smiled. “The baby will share the double with me. You can have the single room”

Jo Jo sighed, pretending to be disappointed. “Can’t blame me for trying”

Peter narrowed his eyes at them. Jo Jo’s feelings about Loki were something of an open secret, and wasn’t a threat, but that didn’t mean Peter had to like it. 

-

Peter threw his bag down in the hallway. The house was filled with that oh-so-familiar holiday rental smell, and it made everything feel just a little bit strange. 

“Why don’t you explore the house, sweetheart?” Loki said. “See if you can work out the oven instructions”

Working out how to operate strange ovens was generally Peter’s speciality in holiday homes, but he didn’t feel like flipping through carefully laminated instructions books, so he didn’t. There was a staircase to his left, which Loki went up with his and Jo Jo’s overnight bags. Jo Jo went through the doorway on the right. Peter gave it a moment, and then followed. It was a large room, with a lounge area at the back by the French doors. The rest of the room was half a kitchen, and half a dining area. Jo Jo was busy unpacking a cooler bag.

“Do you want a drink, little guy?” Jo Jo asked. “You look a bit dehydrated”

Peter ignored him and went to walk past, but Jo Jo skirted round the counter and stopped him.

“Hey, what’s the matter? Don’t you like me anymore?” Jo Jo asked, resting a hand on Peter’s shoulder. “I thought we were friends”

“Why would I wanna be friends with you?” Peter snapped, pushing his hand away.

Jo Jo laughed awkwardly. “Alright, alright. You’re a funny kid, you know”

He went to ruffle his hair, but Peter slapped his hand.

“Ow! Hey..!” 

Jo Jo sighed as Peter stalked past and went through the door into the next room. Something was definitely up with that kid. He’d never seen him like this before.

-

“Hey, Loki?” Jo Jo said when Loki came back downstairs. “Is everything alright?”

Loki looked at him. “Why?”

“I’ve never seen him act like this before”

“He’s just sulking, Jo Jo”

“Well...”

“What?”

“He got a bit cross with me” Jo Jo said. “I only offered him a drink, and asked what was the matter”

“What did he do?” Loki asked.

“Ignored me at first, and then snapped at me, and hit-”

“He hit you?!”

“Well, hit my hand away, pushed me a little. Is he just having a bad day?”

“He’s being a little chancer” Loki said. “Will you excuse me for a moment?”

Peter was only in the next room, so it wasn’t difficult for Loki to find him. He shut the door behind him.

“Can I have a word?”

“I don’t suppose I’ve got a choice” Peter grumbled.

Loki sat down with him. “What’s this I hear about you being rude to Jo Jo? Slapping his hand away?”

“What makes you think he’s telling the truth?”

“Jo Jo is many things, but he’s not a liar” Loki said. “Did you do it?”

“No! Well, yeah, actually, I guess I did...”

“You guess?”

“I did, ok! I didn’t want him touching me. Who does he think he is?”

“I think you’re being a little unreasonable. You should apologise”

“I’m not apologising”

“Fine, if you want to be rude and naughty, that’s your prerogative” Loki said. “We’d planned to go for a walk once we arrived. Do you want something to eat first?”

Peter shook his head.

“You need to eat, chick”

“I don’t want to! I’m not hungry!”

“Alright, alright, don’t bite my head off!” Loki shook his head and sighed. “Come on, then. May as well get a good walk in while the weather’s still good”

-

Peter couldn’t help feeling terribly like a third wheel. Loki and Jo Jo were just friends, obviously, but even so. They were busy talking and laughing together, walking ahead quite happily, like they didn’t have a care in the world. Peter wasn’t sure whether Loki was putting on a brave face, or whether he didn’t care about what they’d found out at the doctors, or if he’d actually forgotten it.

Peter trudged along behind them, hands in his pocket. It was too hot, and he felt sick and wobbly and weak, and cross. They were on field footpaths too, so his allergies were starting to play up, so he was feeling pretty miserable. 

“Hey, you know these are also known as kissing gates” Jo Jo said as they reached a stile.

This caught Peter’s attention, as it was something he remembered being told. Jo Jo went first.

“Don’t try your luck” Loki said.

Jo Jo laughed, and kissed Loki on the cheek when he was halfway over. Peter scowled. He wanted to turn back, but he didn’t have the house key, so he supposed he had no choice but to follow. He hauled himself over, and when he was stood on the step on the other side, Jo Jo kissed him on the cheek, much to his surprise.

“Yuck! What do you think you’re doing?!” Peter fumed, and gave him a shove.

It was a proper push too, and Jo Jo fell backwards and landed in the brambles.

“Oh god! Are you ok?!” Loki gasped.

“I’m fine, I’m fine!” Jo Jo said, laughing it off in his usual sunny-tempered way. 

Loki helped him up, making sure he was ok, and then turned to Peter. Peter wavered, wondering if he should make a run for it. Loki grabbed him under the arms, lifting him off the step and plonking him down on his feet on the ground.

“What are you playing at?” he hissed. “How dare you? You’d better watch your step, young man”

Peter narrowed his eyes slightly, but otherwise didn’t react. Loki fixed him with a hard look, and then let him go, and carried on walking. Within seconds, Loki and Jo Jo were chatting away like nothing had happened. Peter wasn’t sure why, but it made him cross.

-

They took a different route back, and along the way came across the stream. It was only a few feet wide, and Loki and Jo Jo stepped over without too much trouble. Peter took his hands out of his pockets and went to follow, but his foot slipped on the wet grass and he fell, landing on his hands and knees in the stream with a splash. There was half a second of silence, and then Loki and Jo Jo burst out laughing. Peter was angry already, and now he was also embarrassed, and wet, and his hands and knees hurt - so he didn’t appreciate being laughed at, and directed his frustration at Jo Jo.

“Shut up, you stupid bastard! You wouldn’t think it was funny if it was you!”

“Peter!” Loki said, struggling to stop laughing. “Don’t be so rude!”

Peter tried to climb out of the stream, but his foot slipped again, and he fell heavily and sprawled on the bank - which only made Loki and Jo Jo laugh more. Peter swallowed hard, hot tears stinging his eyes, and he reached out, grabbed Jo Jo’s ankle, and tugged. Loki managed to catch Jo Jo before he could fall. He helped steady his friend, and then turned to Peter.

“You stupid, naughty little boy! What are you playing at?” he scolded, grabbing Peter by the collar and pulling him to his feet. “You’re on thin ice, young man! Very thin ice”

Peter looked down, hoping to hide the tears in his eyes.

“You might well be ashamed!” Loki shook his head disapprovingly. “Did you hurt yourself when you fell?”

Peter pushed his hand away and didn’t say anything.

“Aww, the poor little thing” Jo Jo said. “He’s all wet. Sorry we laughed at you, little guy”

Peter knew any further kindness would cause him to break down in tears, so he ignored him. He kept his head down and wrapped his arms round himself.

“He’ll dry off in the sun” Loki said. “Let’s carry on”

-

The rest of the walk passed without incident. Peter’s clothes were still wet when they got back to the house. Loki grabbed a set of clean clothes from Peter’s bag, which remained by the stairs, and told him to get changed. Peter slunk into the downstairs bathroom and did as he was told. He felt dreadful, and his hands shook so much he could hardly do the button up on his trousers. He felt sicker than ever, and when he stepped out of the bathroom, the hallway seemed to lurch beneath his feet. Loki saw.

“Right, that’s it” he said, lifting Peter into his arms. “You’re having something to eat, right now”

“I’m not hungry!” Peter insisted, trying to struggle away from Loki. 

“You need to eat” Loki said firmly, setting him down on the kitchen counter.

“Is everything ok?” Jo Jo asked, looking up from the table.

“It’ll be right as rain as soon as we’ve got some food into him” Loki said, setting about making a sandwich for the boy.

“I don’t want any food!” Peter said, slipping off the kitchen counter.

He went to leave, but Jo Jo stopped him.

“Hey, what is it? I know you haven’t eaten since yesterday lunchtime. That’s more than twenty-four hours” Jo Jo said. “What’s up? Is it a weight thing? You know, dieting at your age can be really dangerous, especially if this is your way of doing it. You’re not fat, Peter. You need to keep a healthy weight. Ignore the papers and magazines. You need to look after yourself, kiddo. Have a little snack. You’ll feel better for it”

Peter stared at him. For a moment he was silent, and then he exploded.

“Who the fuck do you think you are?!” he shouted. “Don’t patronise me, don’t try to preach to me, don’t act like you know me or understand me! You can’t just go around accusing people of being anorexic!”

“Peter, that’s enough” Loki said firmly.

“No, it’s not!” Peter shouted. “Mind your own business! Is it not enough for me to just not be hungry? You’re interfering with stuff that doesn’t concern you!”

“Ok, little guy, ok” Jo Jo said, in a voice similar to what he used when talking to a screaming baby at work.

Peter picked up on this, and he started shaking worse than before. He opened his mouth to shout, but before he could say anything else, Loki grabbed his shoulder.

“Stop it. Jo Jo’s just concerned. Now eat this” Loki said, putting a plate down on the unit.

“I won’t! I said I’m not hungry! I don’t need-”

“Do as you’re told, this instant, young man! Or you’ll be in a whole heap of trouble!” Loki shouted.

Peter went quiet, shocked, and Jo Jo took a step back. 

“Sit at the table” Loki said in a much softer voice.

Peter nodded, taking the plate and going over to the table. Jo Jo stared at Loki. He’d heard him shout before, but never in anger. Certainly never like that. Loki gave his shoulder a squeeze.

“Don’t look so shocked” he said gently. “Me shouting will never be as scary as you shouting”

“I wouldn’t like to bet” Jo Jo said. 

Loki filled a glass with milk and took it over to the table, setting it down by Peter.

“Go on” he said, nodding toward the plate. “Eat up”

Peter glanced at him, and then picked up a triangle of sandwich and took a bite.

“Good boy” Loki said, resting a hand on Peter’s head for a moment. “Good boy...”

-

Peter felt a little better after eating. He didn’t feel sick anymore, anyway, so that was something. Loki had left the room, so he was able to eat without being watched. He went and put his plate and glass by the sink when he’d finished.

“Feeling better?” Jo Jo asked, stopping by the kitchen area.

“Don’t pretend you care”

Jo Jo sighed. “Maybe I do. You’re one of my best friends’ son. You’re a sweet kid too. Most of the time. I thought we go along”

Peter scowled at him. He didn’t need to be lectured, especially not by Jo Jo. 

“Have I done something? Is it because I was flirting with your dad?”

“You’re always flirting with daddy” Peter said. “You don’t exactly go out of your way to hide the fact that you want to sleep with him”

“Ouch!” Jo Jo said, but he laughed. “I never knew you had such a cutting tongue. Hey, you know we’re just friends. I wouldn’t interfere with any married mans relationship, least of all your dads”

“Really? Could’ve fooled me”

“You know, Peter, I like to think I’m a pretty easy-going sort of guy” Jo Jo said, tightly. “But you’re really starting to get to me”

“So? That’s not my problem. What are you talking to me for, anyway? Don’t you have anything better to do?”

“I was checking on you. Is that a crime?”

“I don’t need checking on. Piss off and leave me alone”

Jo Jo grabbed Peter’s wrist to stop him walking off. “Don’t try me, little guy. You’re just a naughty little child - and I’m not as soft as I look”

“You mean thick?”

Jo Jo narrowed his eyes. “You need to behave yourself”

“And you need to mind your own damn business, you stupid prick!”

“You know, I’m getting sick of your attitude! You need some good old-fashioned discipline, little guy”

“For gods sake, shut the fuck up!! Either go away or prove you’re not the stupid, soft, pining little twat we both know you are!”

There was a pause, in which Jo Jo didn’t seem to react.

“Well, if that’s the way you want to play this” 

Before Peter knew what was happening, he was bent over the nearest counter with Jo Jo holding him in place with a hand to his back. He was so shocked that he didn’t even struggle at first. He recovered himself a moment later, quickly looking behind him and seeing the man raise a hand.

“JOHN!”

The shout made both of them jump. Jo Jo released Peter, who scurried backwards, putting a good distance between them.

“I-I’m sorry! I don’t know what came over me” Jo Jo said. “Loki, I-”

“I heard what he said. I’m sorry. But don’t you ever lay a hand on my boy” Loki said, coming over and giving Jo Jo a quick squeeze. “Peter, apologise at once!”

“I won’t! I’ve got nothing to be sorry for!” Peter shouted. “He’s the one who went for me!”

“You’ve been pushing your luck all day, you little imp! Apologise, or there’ll be trouble!”

“No!!” Peter shouted, and he started throwing a very loud tantrum. 

Loki watched for a moment, and then rubbed the space between his eyebrows with his fore and middle fingers, and then gave a heavy sigh and straightened up.

“I’m so sorry about this, Jo Jo. Would you excuse me for five minutes?”

Jo Jo nodded.

“Right, that’s enough. Come on, Peter” Loki said, taking hold of him.

“Hey, let go! I’ve still got stuff to say!” Peter yelled.

“You’ve said enough” Loki said, and he threw the boy over his shoulder and marched him upstairs.

-

Loki endured quite the attack to his back from Peter’s fists on the way upstairs, but he bore it. Once inside the bedroom, he closed the door, set Peter on his feet, grabbed the boy by the shoulders, and gave him a little shake.

“What the hell has gotten into you?!” he hissed. “You’re behaving ridiculously!”

“I’m not being ridiculous! Why are you cross at me?! Your bit on the side was gonna hit me!”

“What did you just say?”

Peter knew that tone. He took a step back, shaking Loki’s hands off his shoulders, and wondering for the second time that day whether or not he should leg it.

“How dare you? You bad, bad boy! How dare you speak to me like that? How dare you be so disrespectful?”

Peter thought about apologising, just for a split second. But he didn’t. Instead, he shrieked and shouted, not making any real sense, and certainly not doing anything to defuse the situation. Loki stood and watched him for a minute or two, trying to work out what had triggered the days behaviour and this current major outburst. It was more than just a kiddies tantrum now.

There was a short pause in Peter’s shouts, and Loki interjected.

“What am I going to do with you, Peter?” he said. “Your behaviour today has been absolutely atrocious. I fear you’ve dug yourself in a hole you can’t get out of”

Peter started screaming at him again. After a few seconds, Loki started responding, and soon they were in a full blown argument. And it went on for a long time.

-

“That’s enough!” Loki shouted eventually. “This has gone far enough! You’ve had your say; you’ve screamed your little lungs out, you’ve been as horrible as it is possible for you to be. That’s enough! You’re in so much trouble!”

“It’s not fair!!”

“It’s entirely fair! Now stop screaming. I’m at a loss of what else to do, so I’m going to spank you. Just wait till I tell your father about this”

There was a short silence, and then Peter suddenly burst into tears and started howling. It was such a stark and sudden change in atmosphere and emotion that, for a moment, Loki didn’t know how to react. 

“Peter? Hey...”

Fully expecting him to shout and pull away, Loki wrapped his arms round the boy. Instead, Peter clung to him and bawled into his chest. Loki held him tight, and for a long while, let him wail.

“Alright. Alright. Peter, sweetheart, you’re being hysterical. You need to stop now”

“I-... I CAN’T”

“Yes, you can. You can, and you will, otherwise you’ll just keep getting worse. You have to calm down”

“I CAN’T!”

“Yes you can” Loki sat down on the bed, holding Peter close at his side. “You can. Just breathe”

“It hurts!”

“Of course it does: you’ve overexerted yourself. You’ll feel better when you’ve settled down” 

Peter managed to crawl onto Loki’s lap, straddling him so he could press up against his chest properly. Loki held him as tight as he could without hurting him, rubbing his back firmly.

“I’ve got you, sweetheart” he murmured. “I’ve got you. You’re safe with me. Shh, there now. Shh...”

Somehow, and with a lot of gulping and a little bit of choking, Peter managed to stop crying almost completely. He sniffled and whimpered against Loki’s shoulder, feeling horrible and sick and numb and scared.

“...I don’t know why all that happened”

“It’s alright; you’re calm now. It happens to the best of us” Loki closed his eyes for a moment. The boy might have stopped crying (mostly), but he was obviously still incredibly distressed. “Ok, sweetie, you’re going to feel a little bit funny for a moment or two”

Loki rested his palm against Peter’s forehead, and a few moments later, felt him fall limp in his arms.

“There now” he said softly, setting the sleeping boy down carefully on the bed. 

For a minute or two, he just watched him. He looked rather peaceful, except... Well, his face was still flushed, and there was too much evidence of tears for Loki’s liking. He went and fetched a cool, damp flannel, and carefully bathed and dried the boys face.

“What happened to you today, chick? What’s going on in that funny little head of yours?” 

He put the flannel back, and then spent a few minutes stroking Peter’s curls. After a while, he sighed, and then pressed his palm to Peter’s forehead for a few seconds. Soon enough, Peter stirred and opened his eyes, blinking a little.

“Hello there” Loki smiled gently at him. “How are you feeling?”

Peter glanced round, stretching his arms a little. 

“...Fuzzy”

“Fuzzy?”

Peter nodded. “Yep, fuzzy. But in a good way... Did I faint?”

“No, you just went to sleep for a few minutes” Loki said, truthfully enough.

“Oh. Good, I think I needed that. I don’t think I slept very well last night” 

Peter stretched a little, but stayed on his back, resting one hand on his chest and the other by his head. Loki ran his fingers through Peter’s hair, and Peter seemed to relax even more.

“...I don’t know why I kicked off like I did” he said. “It was like, it happened, and then I couldn’t stop. Like someone else was in control. It was weird. It kinda... It kinda felt like some of those outburst I had just after May died”

“I see...”

“You made me sleep just now, didn’t you?”

Loki nodded.

“Did you ever do it to me back then?”

Loki hesitated. “...Once. It was that night when you couldn’t stop, and you kept being sick...”

“Oh, I remember that one. It wasn’t even like being sick; it was like it just kept dribbling out of me. It didn’t feel like being sick, even though I felt sick, and it burnt my throat”

“You were in a dreadful state. You were dealing with... that... And you had that infection. I’ve never seen you - or anyone else, for that matter - like that. Before or since... I remember Tony crying and saying you were going to break”

Peter didn’t say anything, but he looked away.

“I don’t think you even noticed it happen. I let you sleep for the full effect of it, which is about eight hours. You needed it, and you seemed better when you woke up”

Loki took Peter’s hand in his free one, holding it gently.

“I don’t like thinking about that time” Peter said, squeezing Loki’s hand. “It’s like someone elses memories, and the ones that do feel like mine, I wish didn’t”

“Do you want to talk about something else?”

“Please. I don’t wanna get rid of this fuzzy feeling just yet. I feel good”

“I’m glad” 

They were quiet for a few minutes, with Loki still combing his hand through Peter’s curls.

“Daddy?”

“Yes, chick?”

“I’m really sorry for everything I’ve done today. I don’t know why I did any of it, and I know it was bad and horrible. I’m really- I’m really sorry”

“Thank you” Loki kissed him gently on the nose. “I’m sorry for shouting the way I did”

“It’s ok... Thanks for doing the sleepy thing to me. I feel...”

“Fuzzy?”

Peter smiled. “Yeah. But more than that. I felt awful, and then I woke up, and I felt good. Everything feels soft and warm and nice. Peaceful, yknow?”

“Good”

“Is that what it’s supposed to do?”

“If I do it like that, yes” Loki said. “Now, darling. What do you want to do? Do you want to sleep for a bit?”

Peter looked over at the window. It couldn’t be much later than about five o’ clock. He didn’t really want to waste the rest of the day. He looked back at Loki.

“I wanna go and apologise to Jo Jo”

*

[riverroan]

Girlsies hcs i can think of and worked on at 11-12 AM last night

fun fact before we start: Kathrine (Joesph’s daughter) actually died in 1884. Who knew?

Kathrine Pulitzer

Lesbian

Her favorite show is The End of the Fxxxing World

“I’m so gay for alyssa like wtf?”

“We know kath”

She and Spot are saltmates

“Hey, madison? Who sings that song?”

“Bruno Mars”

“Please let him sing it”

Legit when he’s doing hw

“Kath, stfu. I’m trying to think”

“Yeah i know i can see steam”

After Spot finally gets a bf

“Gross”

“I mean at least i can get someone but yeah, me too”

“ BL OCK ED”

Jack and Kathrine have dated before

She was confused

He was helping

Chaotic Good™

She fucking loves her siblings and they all accept her

“What a lovely day to be-”

“Gay”

All six of them say it at once

Her mom’s chill with it

Dad not so much

He doesn’t shame her

But he isn’t gonna try and force her to be straight cause honey he knows she’s deep into the gay hell hole

She wears buns constantly

Also when she doesn’t wear makeup she looks like a goddess

“Wow you should stop wearing makeup more often. I may actually go straight for once”

“Fuck off spot”

Whenever she and sarah finally get together

“well my saltmate and my best friend are together who would’ve figured.”

“Spot leave my lesbian ass alone you gay irish boy”

Cuddles

Kathrine is very loveable and anyone who says otherwise gets beat by the guys

Doesn’t matter how they get beaten

Just know these boys cherish their girls to death

Even if they’ve known them for an hour

“Wow ily to death tf”

Specs and Kathrine and the bestest friends ever okay

They have a treat yo self day

Whether it’s small or big

They will legit have a blast

Specs came out to her as pan after watching Deadpool

“Wow can you believe me a Deadpool have something in common?”

“What?”

“Being pan”

When she figured out she was the first person he came out to she felt amazing

She went home and told her mom everything about it

Her mom was pumped up for her daughter

Specs and Kathrine went to homecoming as friends together and left with their own dates

Specs and romeo

Kathrine and some chick named caitlin

Kathlin didn’t last too long

Turns out caitlin was moving

Theyre still great friends

ANYWAY

Specs told her about his crush on romeo

“He’s just so sweet and funny and ughhhhhhhh”

“I feel ya babe”

Then at homecoming they hooked up

Still together to this day

Kath loves their relationship

She calls them goals

Then in eleventh she got with Sarah

Theyre actually the oldest of the group

Her favorite artist is Dua Lipa

Why?

She’s a queen

Why else?

Shes in debate team

Also the school news

She wishes they had a newspaper but they wanted to be more “Advanced”

Also she knows whether she’ll win an arguement

She can just tell by the way the other person holds themselves

If she knows she lost she’ll nod her head respectfully and go on

She doesn’t let that get to her though

Her favorite subject is ela

Only really big musical she likes is DEH she hates the others

“Why watch some musical of the Heathers when there’s the original movie right here?”

Sarah Jacobs

Her fave subject is math

“Why are gays supposed to hate math?”

She and spot are besties

“I wish stars were out in the day too”

“You’re doing a lousy job as a lesbian if you don’t know girls already exist”

“Are you sure you’re gay?”

These two dated

It was because spot was confused

“Well this was fun, but i like guys more you’re the best love youuuuu”

She also dated jack

“Isn’t that awkward? Dating one brother then six months later go out with the other?”

“No”

“Jack you dumb fuck, haven’t you learned she has no shame don’t question my lesbian best friend and her logic”

She’s not too sure what she’s into honestly

Like holy shit guys are caring and their hands feel great

But like,,, girls are amazing

Spot just calls her a lesbo as a joke

Her fave youtuber is Macdoesit

“We worship queens in this household”

The jacobs’ already knew their first two kids were gay

They don’t care how any turn out as long as they finish school and live happy, healthy lives

They don’t have the time of day to tell them they’ll “go to hell” for being in love with whoever they want since they should be happy

That’s all that matters

“Hey mom, dad, i think i’m bi”

“Cool when you gonna bring a boy or girl over so we can meet them?”

Also after Sarah and Jack broke up Jack started dating Davey after dating another dude after Sarah (it was like two years later)

“isNt tHAt AwkWARd?? dAtiNg ONe sIBlinG tHEn Two YEars lATer Go oUT wITh tHe oTHer????”

“shUT UUUP”

Sarah knows the whole Bee Movie

She also has a shirt of the script

Doesn’t actually like musicals

“They just aren’t for me”

Prefers movies

True Neutral™

don’t get me wrong though

she worships Rent

“I thought you didn’t like musicals”

“leave me alone, Mimi’s coming”

allergic to animal fur actually

so she went all kim possible

“I have a hairless mole-rat”

“WHAT THE FUCK”

“Be nice to Rufus”

Chowder is her childhood

so is kim possible tbh

Smalls 

She’s Medda’s only daughter

Everyone will fight for this kid

She’s actually younger than everyone else

She’s tough for an eighth grader

“YOU WANNA GO”

“Smalls calm tf down”

Favorite color is mint green

“It’s just so pleasing to the eye”

“So are boys”

“Race i didn’t ask for your commentary”

She wants to be in band but like,,, she only wants to play drums

Not the other percussion instruments

“Who wants to play those other lame instruments when there’s the drums?”

“Actually-”

“I DONT CARE DAVEY”

She listens very well actually

Also she remembers too many small details

“No one knows my middle name”

“It’s Aaron, what you talking about????”

She’s smart mouthed Delanceys’ a lot

They don’t do shit cause 1. That’s a kid and 2. That’s a girl

Their parents taught them better

Her favorite movie is shrek

“soMEBODY-”

“Smalls, please, it’s four. I need sl e ep”

Chaotic Neutral™

She’s attacked someone with a broom before

It was Jack

He jump scared her while she was sweeping the kitchen

Spot couldn’t breathe while medda and crutchie laughed along and checked if he was okay

Smalls laugh is a snort

“Who sounds like a pig?”

“Don’t call my sister a pig tf dude”

She’s not allowed to be around coffee

It doesn’t do anything really

She’ll throw the cup with the coffee still in to attack people if she’s angry enough though

I said she was chaotic neutral but i’m making her ass sound evil

She shares a room with crutchie

They have bunk beds

She’s top bunk

She hates that bunk but she understands why he’s bottom

She’s actually the youngest Medda ever adopted

When she adopted jack he was 15

Crutchie: 13

Spot: 16

Smalls: 10

She’s 13 now

She goes to her family for different things

Stories: Medda

Nightmare: Jack

Can’t sleep: Spot

Just wants cuddles: Crutchie

Theres different reasons behind these

For Medda she tells her stories about her exprience in theatre and Smalls finds them really nice since Medda’s voice is really soothing and she ususally falls asleep listening to her voice

When she was freaked out over a horror movie he wrapped his arms around her and hugged her close and well she found it really nice, eventually falling asleep since it was warm there and she was freezing and she relaxed a lot too

When she first moved in she couldn’t sleep that night and went downstairs to get water and then Spot came down cause he couldn’t sleep either (it was 3 am) and he helped her reach a glass and he just let her crash with him for the night (she fell asleep quick)

When Smalls felt sick one night she went down and cuddled with Crutchie since she couldn’t sleep and she ended up falling asleep quickly like that

When her brothers friends spend the night she always tries to avoid the mess

But fails

One of her brothers will always drag her in

OKAY BUT WHEN HER BROTHERS GO OFF TO COLLEGE SHE IS SO HAPPY FOR THEM

When she goes off to college she goes to NYU for nursing

she’s confused too

“Okay so... guys are cute but like wow girls are too”

“We finally have someone attracted to girls”

“Mama’s a lesbian what are you talking about?”

[internethorrorfan]

Commentarypasta: Childhood parts 1, 2 and 3 (originally posted on Deviantart in 2017)

The first was story was pretty bad, wasn't it? But at least it was short. We won't be so lucky this time, boils and ghouls. I don't know if I'm doing the whole thing but there'll be at least 2 or 3 parts of this. Submitted for the approval of the Midnight Society, I call this story... Childhood by Miss Megaheart Prologue: You are a pig! A filthy, disgusting, horrendously fat pig!”

“Says the woman who gave birth to that disgusting thing that people expect us to love!” Why'd you even carry it to term?

"Is it my fault she’s that terrible? Have you forgotten that she is a combination of the two of us? She is ugly, stupid, and disgusting because she’s your kid too!”

“Shut up! She can hear us!”

“She’s just a dumb kid! She doesn’t understand what our words mean!” Spoilers: She really shouldn't but she does anyway because this story is stupid.

They were wrong. Entirely wrong. You Oh this an X reader by the way. I think you can figure out my opinion on such stories based on the "Anti Creepypasta X Reader" stamp on my profile.  But if you want an elaboration: I think almost all X reader characters are either too specific to for someone (aka me) to fully insert themselves into and/or aren't specific enough for people to care about them otherwise. From now on all unnamed/ x reader characters in stories I riff are referred to as "Mary Sue". For obvious reasons. heard every single word and, despite your young age, you knew exactly what it meant. Spoilers: Absolutely no you did not. Though they usually seemed so nice and caring to you, when you weren’t with them, they would say the meanest things.  And you don't tell people about this because...? In case you don’t know who “they” are, I’ll tell you. Oh I know who They are. Really bland and forgettable. Your parents. Yes, that’s right, it was your parents who screamed their hatred for you loud enough to reach your room. Well who the hell else would they be? Every night, you would lay in bed, listening to their ranting about how much they hated you while you silently cried yourself to sleep. CRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWLING IN MY SKIIIIIIIIN! It had been like this since your third birthday, which was only a few months ago.  I'm sorry, what? She's only 3 years old and she's able to comprehend all this crap? We're a paragraph into "Childhood" and I 'm already regretting my life decisions. If only I wasn't being held at gunpoint to riff bad creepypastas on the internet... You never knew why they hated you, Because having things like "character motivations" is something good writers would do. only that you knew they did. But, sadly, you had no choice but to absorb the hate and love them. No. They were your only family and, well, any family is better than no family. Right?  It is literally impossible for a 3 year old to be thinking like this. Plus, while 3 year olds are stupid, they aren't stupid enough to think their parents being abusive is normal. Little Sue here should be scared of her parents because they yell all the time, not be ignoring it and acting like nothing is wrong and that they're a normal happy loving family.  And does adoption not exist in this universe? Soon, the yelling stopped and the house went silent. You yawned and went to sleep, one last tear falling down your face. THESE WOUNDS THEY WILL NOT HEAL! ~Timeskip to the next morning. “Hey mama? Where are we going?” “We’re going for a walk in the forest sweetie.” “Okay mama.” Mary Sue knows her parents despise her, she shouldn't be acting so cordial around them! Your dad was driving the car on a beaten dirt road. This should have the beginning of the paragraph. Also why didn't Sue ask them where they were going before they got in the car? Occasionally, you’d hit a few bumps which made you bounce in your seat. I'm sure this is a completely necessary detail. There was nothing but forests, flowers, bushes, and other forms of nature for miles and miles and miles. The first miles was enough, thank you. Plus "forests, flowers, bushes and other forms of nature"? This is one of the most redundant sentences I've ever read. You held tightly to the family scrapbook your parents were working on since you were born Why in God's name would your parents ever bother making a family scrapbook if they hate each other and you? and your (animal) plush. You were getting bored and wanted to go back home, Back home to the endless shrieking of your parents about how they literally wished you were never born. but you were far away from any civilization and in a moving car, Thanks for telling me she was in a moving car, I thought she was in an alien spacecraft the whole time. so therefore, you had to sit. After a few minutes,  "After a few minutes" from what? Since you left the house? Because if it's only been a few minutes Mary Sue shouldn't be this bored and they shouldn't be "far away from any civilization" unless they were already out in the middle of nowhere. the car finally stopped in front of a path. Your parents got out of the car and opened your door. Chapter 1:

“(Y/N), do you have all your stuff?” Who said that?

You nodded your head as you grabbed your stuffie It was a plush a few sentences ago. What's the significance of the stuffed animal/plushy anyway? To make her more "KAWAII DESU OMG!"? and scrapbook Why does she need to bring the scrapbook? Does the scrapbook serve any kind of narrative purpose? and followed your parents into the forest. There were all sorts of wildlife and nature. Nature: "the phenomena of the physical world collectively, including plants, animals, the landscape, and other features and products of the earth, as opposed to humans or human creations". Saying "there were all sorts of wildlife and nature" is like saying there were all sorts of people and humans. It was the type of forest you’d see in a fairy tale or Disney movie. It was very pretty. I got that it was pretty when you compared it to fairy tales and Disney movies! Soon, your little legs began to get sore from all the walking How long have you been walking? because you’re only 3. Then act like a three year old and not like someone in middle school. Lucky for you, there was a nice spot for you to sit down. A flat, large rock to lean on and an oak tree to keep you shady right next to it. You literally could have just said there was a large rock to sit down on. Nearby was a bush with little round red berries. As opposed to triangular berries. Your dad stood in front of you as you sat down. “Now (Y/N), stay here while mama and daddy go get some smacks PROOFREAD. from a store. If you get hungry and you eat all of your (fave meat) you can eat some of those berries.” He pointed to the bush and you nodded your head. He handed you a bag with a few cookies, Why did he give you cookies if he wants you to eat those berries after you finish your meat? a bottle of (fave juice), and some (fave meat) in a container. They already gave her some meat to eat and they're telling her they're gonna get snacks from the store! How much food does this kid eat? Why are they even giving you food at all if they hate you? You smiled at him They hate you and you know that! as he and your mother walked down the path. “Buh bye!” you cooed cheerfully. This one sentence is pretty much the only time 3 year old Sue acts like a 3 year old. Still, she shouldn't be this happy, loving and comfortable around people who yell and scream all the time, especially since she's the smartest toddler ever and completely understands everything around her including her parents hating her and wishing she were never even born.

~Parents POV~

“We finally did it. We finally abandoned the brat.”  Why didn't you put Mary Sue up for adoption right after she was born? Gee, it's almost like these are 1 dimensional caricatures of abusive parents thrown into the story for the sole purpose of trying to make our main character more sympathetic or something. “Yes! Plus she’s so far in the woods no one will find her!” “It was genius to tell her to eat those poisoned berries!”  Why did you give her extra food to eat then? And why'd you tell her to eat it last? Just give her the poisoned berries right off the bat and tell her to eat them. Or just shove them down her throat if you're gonna kill her. Your parents continued gloating about how you were finally out of their lives forever as they started the car engine. Right before finding puppies to kick and orphans to eat, I imagine. Your dad took the wheel as they steered out of the forest…Leaving you behind… Really? I couldn't have figured that out myself! Chapter 2: You started to get a little scared now. Your parents left when the sun was high in the sky, also called noon. Just say they left at noon! The sun was starting to go down now, making it darker and eerie shadows distort, "Making it darker and eerie shadows distort"? Did that make sense to you when you wrote this? almost like they wanted to claw at you. You had just finished all the food in your bag except for the (fave meat) So you're full and you have something to eat for later? Why are you treating this as if it were a bad thing? and you only had a little bit of (fave juice) left. That’s when it hit you hard. The truth you found started to make you cry. Most 3 year olds are still working on learning their colors and shapes and "Childhood" would have you believe they have the same intellectual levels as 5-8 year olds. The truth is… Nirvana is a vastly overrated band. Your parents aren’t coming back. Tense swaps! Hooray! They abandoned you completely. Yeah, I got that. You heard a rustling in a bush and you turned your tear stained face in the direction of the rustling. A strange thing came slowly towards you and stared. It had pale skin and had long claws. It had sharp teeth and it was the size of you, because you are a 3 year old kid who was abandoned by her family.  If anyone knows what this sentence is supposed to mean I'd be glad to hear it because I sure as hell don't. It didn’t scare you though. You didn’t know why, but you just weren’t. A pale skinned monster with glowing eyes, sharp teeth and long claws doesn't scare you but being alone for a few hours does? “I… Am… The… Rake…” the strange thing said as it studied your frail body, like how an owl might look at a mouse. What the hell kind of simile is this? Do owls commonly eat mice? You sniffled before you told “Rake” your name. You assumed that you weren’t scared because you were too sad to be scared.  I'm seriously having trouble fathoming how someone at some point could think "too sad to be scared" was not only an actual possible thing but also something good enough to put in their story. “So… Hungry…” Rake said as he stepped closer to you. You peered into the bag and grabbed the (fave meat) container. You opened it and put it in front of him. Just because you're not scared of someone doesn't mean you like/trust them! Sue couldn't trust her parents so why would she trust a literal monster the first time she lays eyes on him? He looked at it, then back at you, then back to the meat. He took a small bite, testing the taste, followed by viciously chewing, mauling, and eating the meat. Using three synonyms for the same thing in the same sentence does not a good writer make. You watched him, unsure if you should stay with him You have no reason too. or run away and try to find a way home. You chose to stay, hoping he wouldn’t hurt you. Remember kids: staying with someone who might hurt or kill you is better than being alone. He licked his lips. “Thank you (Y/N). For that, I will not kill you. So giving the Rake food stops him from attacking you? Someone should tell these guys. What are you doing here anyways?” Why do you care?

“My mama and daddy left me behind.” You started crying again. "Now who's going to verbally abuse and neglect me?!?"

You stopped when your stomach growled loudly. You just finished eating! You got up and picked a handful of berries. You ate the entire handful, dropping a few. You dropping a few berries is completely pointless information. Rake was confused, About what? How this author can't tell the difference between toddlers and little kids? but after you ate the berries, he realized what you did. He screeched for you to stop, He seriously cares about the safety and wellbeing of a random toddler he met a few moments ago just because she gave him some meat for no reason? only he was too late. “THOSE WERE POISONOUS!” You looked at him, confused. “Daddy said I can eat these "The daddy that screeches his hatred and disgust of my very existence every night told me I could eat these! Why shouldn't I trust him?" berri- GACK!” You started to almost vomit and you felt your insides fill with overwhelming pain. You coughed up a puddle of blood as your breathing became gasps for oxygen. Rake started getting scared. What is it with creepypasta fanfiction and popular CP characters becoming attached to the OCs the very instant they meet them? The Rake of all characters shouldn't give one iota of a crap that some 3 year old he just met is going to die from eating poisoned berries, especially since by his own admission he was going to kill her.  “Slenderman! Quick! I need your help!” he screeched.  Soon after, a tall man in a suit with snow coloured skin and no face stood behind him. The man looked at the sight. A little girl She's a toddler not a little girl. , on the ground, practically dying, and Rake, panicking. I, don't, think, this, sentence, has, enough, commas, do, you?

“I’ll take her back to the mansion. You grab her stuff.” he said as he picked you up. And Slender Man cares about Mary Sue because...?

You spat up more blood while losing consciousness. Leaving everything black... Chapter 3:

While you were passed out, you dreamed of the day you questioned you mother Proofreading is not a polite suggestion! about her love. “Mama?” “Yes sweetie?” “Do you love me?” “Of course we love you!” “But you always say mean things.” 3 year olds don't even know what their ass is for and this author thinks that they can fully understand all words and their meanings with complete clarity. “It’s only about other people named (Y/N).” “Okay mama.” Literally the beginning of this story said Mary Sue could understand everything her mom and dad said and knew they despised her. This was the first draft wasn't it? You were suddenly brought back to reality. Your head was really hurting, "Really hurting"? That's seriously the best description you can come up with? along with your chest and stomach. You looked around the unfamiliar room, searching for any life. There stood the man you saw before, and Rake. Rake looked somewhat relieved, Because he just knows you so well. while you couldn’t tell how the man felt. He shouldn't feel anything at all about you.

“Is she okay Slenderman?” Neither of you should be even remotely invested in this girl's life. 

“Yes she is. But she needs rest. That was a dangerous dosage of poisonous nightshade berries. Any child knows to stay away from those.” Because all children, especially toddlers, can identify poisonous nightshade berries on sight.

“Before I called for you, after eating the berries, she said her father told her that she could eat these.” The first nine words of that sentence could be completely removed and the story would have been better off for it. The man called Slenderman Just say Slender Man. would’ve had a shocked face, if he had one that is. Has Slender Man never heard of abusive parents before? You were on top of something soft, which turned out to be a bed. JUST SAY SHE WAS ON A BED! You were crying. I think I might have used "Crawling in my skin" a little too early. Not because you were scared, because you weren’t. You're a 3 year old who's been abandoned by their parents in a large unfamiliar place, you've been almost poisoned to death, and you've seen a literal monster that admitted he was going to kill you and he only refrained because you gave him something he wanted. You should be screaming and bawling your eyes out in fear and sadness. Piss off with this "I'm not scared" crap. But because you couldn’t believe your parents would let you almost die. They were literally shouting at each other for hours about how much they hated you and wished you didn't exist just last night! And you yourself said this was a regular occurrence! You shouldn't be so shocked! Also, say it with me, THREE YEAR OLDS AREN'T THAT SMART!

Because you wanted your parents to love you. They hated you and you knew that. You shouldn't know these things since you're a damn toddler, but you do, so this is even more moronic. Slenderman noticed you crying. He grabbed a handkerchief and wiped away your tears. Because Slender Man's just such a kind nurturing father figure when he's not impaling the corpses of his victims on trees.

“Now, now, young one. You may stay with us creepypastas.” WHY?!? For what possible reason would Slender Man ever want a three old to live with him? 3 year olds can barley understand the world around them, they can't bathe themselves, some need pull ups to make sure they don't soil themselves, they throw tantrums when they don't get their way, they're too short to reach anything, they can only attend to an activity for a few minutes before getting bored and they need near constant attention to make sure they don't hurt themselves because they're so stupid there are tests showing dogs might be smarter than them. Having a toddler around would benefit Slenderman in absolutely no way at all. Did the Rake convince Slenderman to let her stay by telling the harrowing story of how she give him non descript meat to eat? Slenderman said somehow, confusing you since he didn’t have a mouth. That's the part that confuses you? Not literally everything that's happened in this story? Nonetheless, you didn’t wanna stay outside, and you knew that your parents couldn’t careless Was the backspace key broken when this story was written? about what happened to you.

“O-Okay… My n-name is (Y/N)…”

“Lovely name. Almost as lovely as the forest.”  I have the sudden urge to burn down every forest in sight, don't know why that could be. You heard someone come down the stairs. He looked like Slenderman, except he had a wacky Seriously out of all the words you could have chosen you chose "wacky"? bowtie and his suit was covered in colorful polkadots. He also had a top hat with the same design as his suit and he had a happy looking face. When will people figure out Splendor Man isn't a creepypasta character? The Slender Bros have even less connections to creepypasta than Masky and Hoodie do.

“Brother where is the can- AAAAAAAAAAAWWWWW! Who’s this adorable little girl here?!” he squeeled as he grabbed you and hugged you. Someone's actually in-character in Childhood? Surely this is an oversight by the author.

“This is (Y/N). She was abandoned by her parents and tricked into poisonous nightshade berries.” Slenderman said as he grabbed you and sat you down in a chair. More superfluous sentences! Hooray! You looked at the new guy, All these weirdoes are new to you. who looked like he was about cry. “Who… Who… WHO COULD DO SUCH A THING TO SUCH A SWEET LITTLE GIRL!?!?!?” he cried as he clung to you. Slender Man just put her down! What, did Splendor Man just pick her up again? If so,what was the point of even saying Slender Man put her down? Everyone in the room So glad you established previously other people were in the room with them. What room are they in anyway? stared at him. “You have to stay with us. No she doesn't! Just put her up for adoption! I can’t believe they would do something like that. My name is Splendorman.” You giggled as you hugged him. “Okay Mr. Splendorman!” That was the beginning of your life with the creepypasta family. More like the beginning of the end for my sanity.

Chapter 4: Slenderman and Splendorman lead you upstairs, down the hall, and into a room on your right side. It was a bedroom. YOUR bedroom, to be exact. 

You literally got just here! You can't have a bedroom specifically for you! With a bunk bed! Your parents never let you have one.

Because you’re an only child! There's no reason for you to have a bunk bed! Especially since you're only 3 years old and leaving you on a high place can be really dangerous! You giggled and climbed a ladder leading to the top bunk. Then you fell off, hurt yourself and burst into tears because you're a toddler and toddlers are stupid. Other than that, the room seemed very bland. The walls were white, the dresser was white, the bed sheets were white, and the only thing with colour was a desk that sat in the corner. It was a pale (F/C) colour. A toddler would not be this excited over a boring white room. But hey, you have a bunk bed, those are awesome. Another tense swap!

You yawned a little bit. How does one yawn "a little bit"? It was dark outside and you needed rest from eating nightshade berries and almost dying. All the meandering redundant pointless sentences in this story are really getting on my nerves.

“I’m afraid we don’t have sleepwear but do not worry! We will get them tomorrow!” Splendorman said. All she did was yawn. She didn't actually say she was sleepy. How are going to get pajamas when you're monsters? You guys can't exactly walk into a store. Slenderman did a face palm-err, head palm.(?) Figure stuff like this out before you post chapters of your story onto a public website.

“Okay. Goodnight.” you cooed as your eyes drifted shut. You're a toddler and your primary caregivers have abandoned you and tried poisoning you to death, leaving you to essentially be kidnapped and forced to live with scary monsters you know nothing about in an unfamiliar place. You should be severely traumatized by all this, be terrified and bawling your eyes out, not happily cooing and acting like nothing bad has happened.

~Timeskip to tomorrow~

You had just come home from getting you some clothes and other stuff for your room. Because 3 year olds commonly pick their own clothes and essential belongings. Earlier that day you spent learning about creepypastas Creepypastas are stories, not beings. and their names. You were also told that there were always new creepypastas coming into the mansion. You've been there for a few hours. Everyone and everything here is new to you. Such as B.O.B. Yay! B.O.B.! A lot of people forget about him. He looked like a combination of Slenderman and Rake.

B.O.B. looks nothing like Slender Man at all. But, like all of them, surprising because of how young you were, you weren’t scared a little bit. A toddler isn't scared of real monsters. A toddler. A TODDLER. “Okay now. (Y/N), we will be back in a little bit. We have to go kil-err I mean… Go for a walk.” “Okay Mr. Slenderman!” My brain is melting out of my ears and on we're on chapter 4.

When they left you decided to explore the mansion. You went into the room next to your room and it was empty. Thanks I really needed to know that. You left that room and checked the next room. It looked like another bedroom. The walls were orange with white floors. There was a black desk next to the bed with a red gem shaped light. The bed sheets were red and the pillow was orange. Lying on the bed was a stuffed animal. A fox. It had 2 tails, when you realized that this was a Miles Power, better known as Tails, plush. She went into another room and found the Tails Doll lying on a bed. I just summed up the entirety of this paragraph in one sentence. Why does the Tails Doll need his own room anyway? You loved games What toddler plays video games? And why would your parents, who constantly yelled their disgust of their very existence at you, ever let you play video games? so you instinctively grabbed the plush. Author you don't know how toddlers work. You definitely don't know how instincts work. “Aaaaw. You’re so cute. Something no three year old has ever said. Let’s go play a game!” “No. Put me down child.” Your (E/C) eyes shot open. I thought you weren't scared of anything. You looked at the stuffed fox you were just cuddling. You weren't cuddling it you were holding it. It had a red gem on its head and its eyes were open. It didn’t look amused at all. You put it back down on the bed. “I’m the Tails Doll. You must be the new child (Y/N).” You nodded your head As apposed to what, nodding your nipples? at Tails Doll. You left the room waving goodbye to the doll.

STOP. WASTING. EVERYONE'S. TIME. You went back to your room and played with your (fave animal) stuffie, Miss Fluffy. This is not relevant info in any way shape or form. ~Timeskip to 3 hours later~ “We’re home. Tails Doll, where’s (Y/N)?” “I think she’s chillin’ in her room.” "Bruh!" Slenderman peeked in your room to see you drawing pictures of some of the creepypastas. “Those are very lovely drawings. Coming from a three year old? No they aren't. I’ll put them up on the fridge.” Why was the Rake looking for food in the forest when they have a fridge?  “Okay Mr. Slenderman.” You had drawn Slenderman, Splendorman, Rake, B.O.B, Tails Doll, and you. Because you're just know them so well. I don't think even toddlers get attached to new people this easily, especially when they've spent almost no time with her at all.. And are, you know, monsters. You were a pretty good artist, despite that you were only 3. The scribblings of a mental patient are better than a 3 year old's drawings.. The Creepypasta Family is the best family. Stop the ride, I wanna get off! Better than your real family. That’s for sure. Because a family of monsters and serial killers is truly the highest standard a family can ever achieve.

Chapter 5

It has been 10 years since you joined the creepypastas. You were now 13 This story's called "Childhood" and we've completely skipped her childhood. Wow.

and became Slenderman’s proxy.

Just when I though this couldn't get dumber. 13 year olds are moody, hormonal weaklings who're currently undergoing massive changes in their body and have had little to no time to develop life skills. They'd be completely useless as assassins. Well, one of his proxies. You had met and befriended many of the creepypastas You've met and befriended multiple online horror stories? That's pretty impressive. that have joined throughout the years. The other proxies of Slenderman were Masky, Who is not a proxy or a creepypasta character.  who had brown hair, Tim's hair is black. a white mask with black eyes and lips, and an orange hoodie, An orange hoodie?

Does this look like an orange hoodie to you? and Hoody, who wore a hoodie that looked just like Masky’s Brian's hoodie was pale yellow so even if Tim wore an orange hoodie as Masky they wouldn't be wearing the same thing. and a black mask with red eyes and a red mouth that was always frowning. Just say he has a red frown! This is ridiculous! You would always wear a black hoodie, Because all clichéd uninspired creepypasta OCs wear hoodies. (F/C) gloves, grey jeans, and black sneakers whenever you guys went on a mission. Nobody cares about your damn clothes. “Oi Slendy.' “Hm? Oh, (Y/N). What is it?” “When do I get to go kill something. This question seems to be missing something. I wonder what it is? Also our protagonist, aka the person we're supposed to like, is complaining about not being able to kill innocent people for fun. Also why was Slenderman hiding them murdering people when she was 3 if he was just gonna raise her to be a killer anyway? I mean, I always scout out the victim’s home for Masky, Hoody, In addition to not being proxies or creepypasta characters Hoodie and Masky are also not serial killers. or you to physically and mentally torture and kill. I have never gotten the chance to.” Because you’re 13 years old and too weak to properly do things like that. “Well, you only became my proxy 2 weeks ago. We want to find you a suitable victim. Do not fret child. You will get the chance.” Jesus H. Christ! Proxies aren't people that intentionally ally themselves with Slenderman and do nothing but kill random people! You smiled as you walked into your room, bumping into one of the new Creepypastas, Jeff the killer. I'm wonder sometimes if the people who write these stories think Jeff's full name is "Jeff T. Killer". He had black hair, black eyelids, a huge smile cut into his cheeks, and skin the colour of Slendy’s. You weren’t close or anything, but you two were good friends.  That means you're close. “Hey (Y/N), quit it.”  “Quit what?” “Quit being so clumsy. You dropped a plate of cookies this morning and made so many chocolate chips go to waste.” "Filler: the story" ladies and gentlemen.

“Oh shut up Jeff. You could’ve eaten them straight off the floor.”

“Whatever!” You both laughed as you walked into your room. Over the years it’s gone through some changes. Who cares? first it was all very bland with white walls, floor, and bed sheets. The very last chapter told us that! Now, the walls were a crimson blood colour, Because red and black are the only colors that exist in creepypasta. the floor was a grey carpet, and the bed sheets were scarlet. The desk, dresser, and bunk bed stayed the same, however. Fascinating. You had a bookshelf with manga and other awesome books. Because literally everyone on the entire planet loves manga and anime. You had a love seat, but you rather preferred to call it “2 person sofa”. This story would be 50 times shorter if you excised all the meaningless lines from it. You had a small red coffee table in front of the “2 person sofa”. You had a TV with some game consoles hooked up. So, long story short, you had the best bedroom in the world. This whole paragraph could have and should have been cut from "Childhood" entirely.

There was a knock on your door. You opened it, only to reveal a newer creepypasta, Ben Drowned. Ben Drowned is the name of the story not the character. He's not Ben Drowned, son of Bobby and Betty Drowned, descendant of the great Bartholomew Drwoned. He was about a year older than you, so 14. Ben was 12 when he died. He had blonde hair, black eyes with red pupils, and pale skin. This is not BEN's canon appearance and when will people figure this out? He often wore a Legend Of Zelda Link outfit. As apposed to a Call of Duty Link outfit. You two were good friends as well. In fact, he was one of your best and closest friends. “Sup (Y/N). You know where Tails Doll and Sonic.EXE are?” “I think they’re in the basement with Pinkie. She needed some of that ‘special ingredient’ for her cupcakes, Cupcakes is a fanfiction, not a creepypasta! I don't care that it's on the wiki, the wiki is stupid! so they went and got her some.” “I see. I’ll get them later. They seem to be busy. “Oh! Ben. Slendy has a job for you too. There’s some jerk making fun of us, especially you, so Slendy wants you to teach him a lesson by screwing up his games, electronics. You get the picture.” “Okay. See ya later (Y/N).” As Slenderman’s proxy, you and Masky and Hoody and Slenderman were always busy. It appears this author doesn't know how to use commas properly. Which means you knew about all the missions assigned to the creepypastas So many of these "Slender Mansion" stories mention the creepypasta characters going on "missions". What kind of missions? Are "creepypastas" assassins? Spies? Deeply religious? and helped keep track of all the creepypastas that came to the mansion. So far, you were probably a little less productive in the killing part. Proxies aren't just assassins! They can be but they're so much more than that. Probably because you haven’t had a chance to. But you knew who you needed to kill. You had to kill them before your time was up and it was too late. That sure means something. You wanted and needed to kill your parents. There's no reason for you to do that. At all. You were three years old when they abandoned you, you should barley remember them at all. Chapter 6:

“Slendy. Slendy. Slendy. Slendy. Slendy. Slendy. Slendy. Slendy.”

“WHAT DO YOU WANT (Y/N)!?!?!?”

“I want to go killing. When can I go?”

“Stop whining. Soon you will.”

“That’s too long! He didn't give you an exact time. I wanna go killing now! Please!” Our protagonist is literally begging to murder innocent people and we're supposed to un-ironically like her and want her to succeed. By this point, you were getting sick of waiting and wanted to kill badly. We should want her to do this why exactly? Slenderman would always say “soon”. But to you, right now, “soon” wasn’t soon enough. You didn’t care if that meant you had to kill a mouse. Then kill a mouse. Kill a fly. Kill a small animal in the woods. Just shut up and kill something. You wanted to kill and that was that. Everyday you’d bug Slenderman about it and he was getting sick of it.

“I will leave you in the forest if you don’t stop whining and annoying me.”

“I don’t care. I’ll just find the mansion again. Look, if I can’t kill a human, at least let me kill a small animal.” As if Mary Sue wasn't despicable enough.

Smile Dog’s Glad you established Smile Dog was in the room. Wait a minute, Jeff, BEN, Slenderman, B.O.B., The Rake, Masky and Hoodie get descriptions and introductions but the other characters don't? smile turned into a frown and he looked towards you, whimpering. Smile Dog isn't an actual dog! He's a supernatural entity that looks like a dog!

You kneeled before the dog and stroked his fur. Like 90 percent of CP fanfictions, this story treats Smile Dog as if he were a completely normal dog who happens to have red/black fur and kill people and not a supernatural entity that spreads through a picture on the internet before appearing in people's dreams and telling them to "Spread the Word".

“Not you Smile Dog. Or you Grinny Cat.” "It's a creepypasta fanfiction, I have to be a hypocrite on top of being a psychopath."

Grinny Cat His name's just Grinny. looked at you, then went back to sleep. You sighed as you left to go bug Masky and Hoody.

“Masky. Masky. Masky. Masky. Masky. Masky. Masky. Masky. Masky. Take me to go on a killing spree now. I want to kill someone.” I'm honestly kind of disgusted that this author expects us to genuinely sympathize with this character.

Masky turned towards you. He put the book he was reading down and stared into your (E/C) eyes.

“Sorry (Y/N). Can’t do that until I finish the mission I’m on.”

“Which is?”

“Ignoring you.” You go, Tim!

You frowned and went to your room. You turned on the GameCube and played some Super Smash Bros. for an hour. WE DON'T NEED TO KNOW THIS. You got bored and went to go see Slenderman. “SLENDY IF I WANNA GO KILLING SO HELP ME ZALGO Why do these stories always use Zalgo in place of God when Zalgo's the bad guy in the majority of them? IM GONNA GO KILLING!!” So on top of being a hypocritical psychopath Mary Sue is also an entitled brat.

Slenderman looked at you, He has no face. surprised. He sighed and put away his work. What work could Slenderman possibly be doing?

“You win. Meet us in the garden after dinner.” Now she's spoiled on top of all the other crap. Lovely.

“YES! VICTORY! BOOYAH!” This person isn't even real and I want to deck her in the face.

Slenderman sighed as you danced your way out of his room. Scratch decking her in the face, I want to throttle Mary Sue here. This was not what he had planned.

Not at all. He actually planned for her to become a travelling hot dog vendor.

Chapter 7:

This is it. You finally get to go killing. Stop treating this like a good thing. You grab a katana I'm sorry, WHAT? Where the hell did you get a katana from? Out of your ass?

and ran right to the garden as soon as you finished your dinner. There were Slenderman, Masky, and Hoody. You were wearing the outfit you usually wore on a mission. Why do fanfic writers think long, drawn out descriptions of people's clothes are the most exciting things in the world? A black hoodie, grey jeans, (F/C) gloves, and black sneakers. I'm pretty sure you already established this but I'm not going back and checking. You had the biggest smile on your face as you approached your teammates. You pulled the hood over you (H/L) (H/C) hair.

“Yay! I get to go killing!” Our hero, ladies and gentlemen!

“Yeah yeah (Y/N), that’s enough.” Masky said as he patted your back. You were just so excited that you were shaking as you gripped your katana tightly. I highly doubt 13 year olds have the strength and dexterity to properly pick up a katana. Even if they did they'd have to go through absolutely exhausting training in order to use it. For cryin' out loud, there's an entire book's worth of rules for the thing! Slenderman grabbed onto the three of you with his tentacle appendages Because...? and teleported you outside a small brick house. You peered into the window to see an empty living room. It was dark inside, so you knew the person who was living there was asleep. The living room having it's lights off doesn't mean the person living in the house is asleep. You had taught yourself sneaky ways of entering and escaping locked rooms Did Slenderman regularly leave you in locked rooms? ever since you were 5, so you quietly pried the window open with ease. With what? You had learned that you shouldn’t open doors more than the amount of space needed to crawl through, in case there was an emergency. I know how to do that! Most people know how to do that! That's not a special skill in any way. You slowly crawled through the window Carrying a katana? and closed it, giving the others a thumbs up. You looked around the house, finding a stairway. You slowly walked up, katana in hand. There was a small bedroom. You slowly opened it, revealing a middle aged man. You approached the man, raising the katana above your head. You slowly inserted the katana into the man’s chest. Katanas are made for slashing, not stabbing. You'd ruin it by using it that way. There's videos of people breaking katanas by just swinging them. He began to scream loudly, causing you to smile. After you pushed it in halfway, you took it and slit the man’s throat with it. Katanas are not that precise. You sat on the edge of the bed as you watched him die painfully. I'm pretty sure that would have killed him instantly but what do I know?

~Masky POV~

Me, Slenderman, and Hoody stood outside the house. There's no reason for any of you to be here. (Y/N) had been in there for about 10 minutes. I heard a man screaming. More likely in pain and fear. I started getting really impatient. I know it’s her first kill, but it only took Jeff on his first kill a stab and it was done. Ignoring the awful grammar, in the creepypasta nobody else was there when Jeff killed his family so how does Masky know how fast it took?

“Slender when can I go inside? (Y/N) is taking too long.”

“Wait. This is her first kill.” These stories always treat murder as some rite of passage or requirement amongst creepypasta characters when creepypasta in general is about horror and not killing. How does killing random people accomplish anything anway?

As if on cue, (Y/N) crawled out the window, blood halfway up the katana Jeff had given her a few weeks ago. So JEFF was the one who pulled the katana out his ass! Now it makes perfect sense. She had the biggest smile I ever saw.

“So… How was your first kill ever?”

“It was awesome Masky! That guy almost started screaming like a girl Almost? but he sure was loud! And he seemed to squirm a lot. But other than that it was awesome!”

I was actually kinda glad she enjoyed it. I don’t have a crush on her or anything, but we’re partners and friends. It's good thing you don't have a crush on her since you're 26 and she's 13. Why even bring up the crush thing at all? Spoiler alert this doesn't lead to anything.

We look out for each other. I gave her a high five as Hoody gave her a pat on the back. I'm 100 percent positive the one who wrote this doesn't even know what Marble Hornets is.

~Normal POV~

Slenderman teleported you back to the mansion. Once you got inside, everyone cheered! Ben floated next to you and gave you a bro fist. It's called a fist bump. They threw you a party in honor of your first kill ever. Is there a fandom that glorifies murder more than the creepypasta fandom? If so than count me out. There were cupcakes, ice cream, cookies, chips, punch, (Slendy made sure it wasn’t spiked) She can murder innocent people for fun but God forbid she drink when underage. popcorn, and candies. You had never seen Jeff eat that much ice cream before getting brain freeze. I've never read a more meandering time-wasting filler-ridden story like this in my life. It was quite a party. You flopped into bed It was quite an amazing fun interesting party anyway enough of that. and looked at Miss Fluffy, your (fave animal) stuffie You're 13, you shouldn't be calling it a "stuffie". Plus we already know this! since you were a baby, who always sat on your shelf since you turned 8. This is such an important detail. You slowly closed your eyes as you drifted off to sleep. Chapter 8: It’s been 3 years since your first kill. WHAT?!? You mean that last few chapters was utterly pointless? Why am I not surprised! And seriously nothing noteworthy happened in 3 years? It was only a month until your 16th birthday. You had become an official creepypasta. YOU. WISH. Your CP name was (CP/N). You still remained as one of Slendy’s proxies. You were told by Slendy that he was bringing in ANOTHER proxy of his. You did some research and found out a little bit about the new guy. His name is Toby Rogers, aka Ticci Toby. Dear Creepypasta fandom: Ticci Toby is the name bullies used to make fun of him in middle school it's not his proxy name or killer name or whatever. He apparently had Tourette Syndrome which caused him to twitch, and C.I.P.A, which meant he didn’t feel any pain.

Today was the day he comes 'Nother tense swap. to the mansion. You had to be up at midnight to prepare for his arrival. For what reason?

You were sleeping soundly when you felt someone gently shake your shoulder. You heard what sounded like Masky. You looked and saw that he had climbed up to the top bunk that you always slept in. Tim's in his late 20's, he doesn't need to climb to the top of a bunk bed to reach it.

“(Y/N) wake up. Time to get ready.”

“Mmf… Okay, okay, I’m up…”

You really didn’t like being woken up, but if it was important, you made an exception. You sat up and stretched as Masky left the room. You decided that you should be allowed to just wear (F/C) pyjamas, This person doesn't know how to spell pajamas correctly and they're writing about serial killers. so you walked out of the hall. There was the sound of the clicking of buttons and music in the room next to yours. Ben’s room. ‘Huh. He’s probably just playing video games.’ Just once I'd like to see BEN from Ben Drowned in these stories and not BEN from Pasta Monsters. you thought as you made your way downstairs. Masky and Hoody were trying to figure out what Toby would like for breakfast.

“Toast?”

“No Hoody. How about english muffin?” Just the one.

“No that isn’t a good idea either Masky.”

These guys are your friends and partners, but sometimes they’re friggin’ clueless. Because taking time to make decisions makes you clueless apparently.  Evidently you had to worry about it because you were the one who searched up what type of food Toby likes. Who the hell gives a damn? And that food was pancakes and waffles.

“You guys are my friends. Mary Sue having friends is the most unrealistic part of this story so far. But sometimes you guys are morons.”

“Well is it my fault we don’t have waffles (Y/N)?”

“Masky you are lazy. We may not have waffles, but we have pancake ingredients.”

You grabbed the ingredients and made some delicious chocolate chip pancakes. You made sure to make some for Masky, Hoody, you, and Toby. So you ended up making lots of pancakes for everyone. Then just say you made pancakes for everyone. As soon as placed the last pancake on Toby’s plate, Slendy His name is Slenderman! had come back with the new guy. You had your back turned with your headphones in, listening to (fave band). Slendy used his appendages to take them out.

“(Y/N), meet Toby. You two will be working together from now on. They have no reason to.

Toby had brown hair and dark brown eyes. His skin was really pale. He extended his hand, smiling with pure white teeth. You shook his hand.

“Hi. I-I’m Ticci T-Toby. Toby would NEVER call himself that. J-Just call m-me T-Toby.” Slenderman already introduced you anyway.

“Hello Toby. I’m (CP/N). But you can call me (Y/N).”

“Are those…?”

“Yes. In honor of your arrival, I made us pancakes.”

Toby’s smile got wider. You smiled sweetly as you sat down at the table. There any reason you sweetly smiled besides clumsily setting up the forced cliché romance between these two? No? That's what I thought. Toby sat next to you, digging into the stack of pancakes you had made for him. In almost a second they were gone. 'Man that boy loves pancakes.’" you thought as he got up to put away his plate. Slendy looked at the 4 of you. He sighed.

“One of you is going to have to share a room with Toby.”

“I can’t. Me and Hoody You ever notice how in these "Slender Mansion" stories Tim and Brian always call each other Masky and Hoodie and they never take their masks/costumes off even indoors? are enough people to sleep in the same room.”

You suspected that it was that they must’ve been weirded out by Toby’s twitching. So that meant you and Toby were officially roommates. No it doesn't.

“I still have a bottom bunk.”

“Thanks (Y/N). Y-You’re really n-nice. You haven't even known her for an hour. S-Sorry for the s-stuttering. I-I’m just a l-little nervous and shy a-around new p-people.” Toby stutters because he has Tourette's, not because he's "shy'.

“No problem Toby. I think we’ll get along fine!” He smiled as his leg twitched slightly. After cleaning up, you showed him around the mansion, introduced him to the others, Shouldn't Slenderman be doing that? even told him about the funny and interesting things that happened to you. Nothing interesting or funny has happened to you. I should know, I've been reading along. You thought it was best to get along if you were gonna work together and share a room.

“So when Smile Dog came here he was only a puppy?” “Yep! He actually looked like a normal puppy, but grew up and looked like him.” I'm calling it now: not only has the writer never read Smile Dog but she's never even heard of the original picture.

“What about Grinny Cat?” Is the writer under the impression that "Cat" is his last name?

“Same went for him. I love how the author rips off Pasta Monsters without even knowing what it is. Except as a kitten. I greatly appreciate you telling us Grinny Cat didn't arrive to the mansion as a puppy.

“You have some cool stories (Y/N). How did you end up here?” Neither of those were cool or even stories.

Oh Zalgo. No. Out of all the questions, he had to ask that one. You looked down from your top bunk that you two were sitting on. A tear fell down your face and landed on the grey carpet. That was 13 years ago. Get over it.

“I… I-I don’t wanna t-talk about it…” you said softly as you wiped away a tear. Toby got the hint that it wasn’t a pleasant story and hugged you.

“Sorry! I-I didn’t know!”

“I-It’s okay T-Toby.”

“(Y/N), if there’s something wrong, just tell me.” You took a deep breath. You turned towards him.

“My parents left me to die when I was 3. They tricked me into eating nightshade berries. Rake What happened to the Rake? I don't think he's been mentioned at all since the 4th or 5th chapter. and Slendy saved me and brought me here. They were much better than my real parents. That’s why my parents are going to die.” You only spent 3 years of your life with your abusive parents, 2 of which you spent as a baby. You should have only the most faintest memories of your parents. You've spent the grand majority of your life with supposedly "the best family" so stop whining. Toby’s eyes were shocked. What does that even mean? His dad may have been an alcoholic and yelled at him, his mom, and his sister.  Toby's dad didn't just yell at Toby, he beat him. Bit of an oversight there. But his dad never abandoned him. Well, not physically. "Being abandoned by your dad is WAY worse than getting beaten up by him on a regular basis!" Toby looked into you (E/C) orbs. You smiled and hugged him, muttering a 'thank you’. You were glad someone was actually there to help you and understood you. You've had tons of friends and family figures for years. Toby is not the first person to "like, OMIGOD, totally understand" you. Shut your damn mouth you whiny entitled emo little brat. That was the first day you met him. You don't say?

And you loved that day. You've known each other for hours and you're already this close? This story is seriously rivaling "A Meet I'll Never Forget" in how rushed yet padded out everything is. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Ok guys I think i'm gonna take a break from Childhood for a little bit. This...thing is 20 chapters long and the first 7 chapters are already completly abysmal. The worst is yet to come in Childhood, mark my words. It'll probably a little while before I finish Childhood but rest assured we'll get back to this. In the mean time I'll be riffing some shorter stories.