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pitchcom · 3 months

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soz if u guys arent here for this but these are MY personal grid A/B/O assignments + reasoning:

Max: alpha and i feel like i dont need to explain this one LOL

Checo: omega but i could be persuaded to see beta checo !! like take one long look into his beautiful big brown eyes n little freckles and motherly aura and tell me you dont see it ….

Charles: controversial but …. alpha. omega charles truthers i see you. i love you and hold you dearly. but to me charles is just a softer alpha u know ?? but he still has the bite too him … like hes all sharp teeth grin n you KNOW its all casual with him but you cant help but fall in love w him anyways ….

Carlos: DOUBLY controversial but I AM AN OMEGA CARLOS TRUTHER !!!! like again. look into his big brown eyes n plush lips … look at his quotes about how he was “too soft” when he was younger n just wanted to be friends w everyone … i will die on this hill

Lando: TRIPLY CONTROVERSIAL but alpha lando scratches an itch in my brain actually !! like chest puffed bravado rookie lando wanting to prove himself bc people always assumed he wasnt an alpha … now mellowed cheeky alpha lando whose gone through 2 older omega teammates (spoilers for daniel LOL) and learned a lot from them …

Oscar: alpha but i could be persuaded to see beta !! idk hes just so chill. so unbothered. people assume hes a beta bc of his attitude but hes just been raised so that he literally does not care abt designations at all

Alex: beta but i could be persuaded to others … like this one is not solid solid to me ?? but hes genuinely just so chill with everyone on the grid that hes like a stabilizing force … a calming presence u know … even though he absolutely has the capacity to be teasing n silly

Logan: omega end of sentence. look into those sad eyes and miserable aura and tell me you do not want to bundle him up. hide him away whisper sweet things to him. he would love it too the frat boy logan-ers are lying to you …

Daniel: omega LOL i mean i can see alpha danny n would not necessarily be opposed to it but his kind of mentoring of max n lando … his wide eyed curly hair braces when he came into f1 … also honey badger nickname speaks omega to me. it whispered in my ear and i saw the vision of danny stuck with angry baby alpha max n the two slowly learning how to coexist abd slowly becoming one ot the closest people ever to each other

Yuki: i actually dont have a preference LOL i mean i think the whole “shorter/smaller person is an omega” thing is a tired trope so i feel i have a little predisposed bias against omega yuki BUT i am generally open to all designations for him

Fernando: I AM ALSO AN OMEGA NANDO TRUTHER i am too hung up on his twink days w the old grid to ever really see him as anything more then a conniving little omega who absolutely kicks ass and proves the haters wrong LOL. you love to see an omega whose a little feral out there. like go forth and cause mischief or something

Lance: i wanna say omega but i could be persuaded …. like look at him. plush hair big brown eyes with fluttery lashes pouty lips. hes a little spoiled thing like hes so cat coded to me. lanky ol omega who knows what he wants

Pierre: omega !!! i dont rlly have an explanation for this one it came to me in a vision BUT i love omega pierre … pretty little bratty omega …

Esteban: beta but generally open to all interpretations !! he seems so like neutral to me … like big lanky guy whose trying his best to stand out n get his moment in the sun but gets a little overshadowed by other stronger personalities …

Lewis: alpha 100%. again hes calmed hes mellowed but this man has the calm quiet “i know im the shit. what are you going to do about it?” alpha demeanor to me. like he absolutely tore it UP when he was younger n was brash n confident (and was not the best alpha) but after the nico situation and teaming w valterri he rlly had his eyes opened and now he’s just chilling

George: alpha but i could be persuaded to other points of view … like this man was crazy n dedicated enough to powerpoint present why he should be in mercedes 😭 i think that he is deffo like hyperaware of designations/tries to do his best by everyone in the paddock tho

Kevin: omega BUT i could be persuaded for beta kevin. no real explanation again but i am once again influenced by rookie kev and also his fatherhood

Nico: alpha or beta. again no real explanation for this he just gives off cocky would-be-an-asshole-if-you-didnt-know-him-well alpha vibes but in an uncle way. like the guy who likes to tease you but goes too far sometimes and doesnt rlly apologize for it

Valterri: beta through n through 🫡 again influenced by his stint at merc where he was the perfect second driver and was also brought in to help smooth over turbulent emotions that were left from the brocedes divorce and nicos subsequent retirement. definitely grew into himself a little more post merc tho and now gives no fucks about what people think abt him or his designation. viva la vida

Zhou: i wanna say alpha OR omega. my narrative is that he was a shy rookie who’s not super comfortable in his designation yet when he first debuts but as he spends more time with “no fucks given” valterri he slowly becomes more confident and comfortable in himself. thats it sorry zhou fans im not well versed in the zhou lore 😭

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imagineanime2022 · 7 months

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Demon Brothers W/ An S/O W/ CIPA

Lucifer X Reader, Mammon X Reader, Leviathan X Reader, Satan X Reader, Asmodeus X Reader, Beelzebub X Reader, Belphagor X Reader.

Requested: Anon

Request: Haiii:3

I have been reading your posts for some while and i really like how you write!!!

But anyway straight to the point, could you write the obey me brothers with a S/O who has CIPA?

if you dont know what that is its basically where a person cant feel pain, feel heat or cold, and cant sweat.

You can ignore this if you want, take your time. <3

Lucifer = Blue

Mammon = Italic (would not let me do yellow)

Levi = Orange

Satan = Green

Asmo = Pink

Beel = Red

Belphie = Purple

You = Bold

A/N: I had vaguely heard of this before this request and did some research into some of the other things that yo can suffer along side it, let me know if theirs anything that you would like me to change or isn't quite true.

Warnings: Talks of pain, broken bones, bruises, CIPA from the view of someone who has not seen or dealt with it.

Lucifer

📚 No word of a lie this man knew that there was something different about you the moment that you appeared in devildom but he couldn’t tell what it was just by looking at you. 📚 The first thing he picked up on was your choice in clothing. Why are you wearing a jumper in the midst of summer? It looks nice. Are you not hot? I don’t really feel hot. 📚 The second was you play fighting with Beel, even he has the oldest and most powerful of the brother found it hard to keep up with Beel but you a human seemed to be bouncing back from what seemed to be a good deal of Beel’s natural strength, you were covered in bruises when you came down the next morning but you weren’t at all concerned by them. 📚 The third and final one was when you were in the kitchen you had been talking to him and he watched as you put your hand down on the still hot stove that you had been using moments before but you didn’t tear your hand away instead continued talking. 📚 Lucifer had never shot forward so fast demanding to know what was wrong with you while he treated the first degree burn. 📚 Lucifer did some research and then set a schedule to make sure that you stayed healthy, you weren’t allowed anywhere on your own and when you did sustain an injury self assessment was not allowed, he’d be taking you to a professional if he couldn’t tell himself. 📚 He gave his brothers strict instructions on what they needed to be vigilant of when you were out with them and even sent the same instructions to purgatory hall and the castle (not that Solomon or Barbatos needed them, they definitely figured this out within weeks of meeting you). 📚 Lucifer will literally come out of nowhere with some kind of temperature device to make sure that you weren’t too hot or too cold, let’s hope that you never faint because you're too hot. 📚 I think he’d honestly be the most worried, he’s always thinking about you and wondering if you're okay, checking his phone constantly to make sure that you hadn’t hurt yourself somehow. 📚 You're in more danger here than you’ve ever been, you need someone looking out for you.

Mammon

💳 Mammon had no clue. 💳 Literally nothing different about you, versus any other human that he’s seen (not that he’s really seen any, let alone interacted with them). 💳 At first he just thought that you were super durable and that instantly had his mind running, he could make money off of the videos that he filmed of you. Yeah for a while you were the get rich quick scheme. 💳 Until one night that you stood up to Lucifer to protect him and Beel and actually got hurt, you had fallen awkwardly, everyone winced and somehow you stood completely normal. 💳 Unfortunately it doesn’t matter how much he sees you're probably going to have to tell him what is going on with you. 💳 Once he understands what’s going on with you he’s a lot more considerate. He always has an extra jumper if you don’t bring one or will offer to carry yours if he feels like you might be getting too hot. 💳 The occasional hyperactivity that comes with CIPA is welcomed with Mammon, he’s up for having pillow fights and running around the house, he’s made a child proof room for you both to play around in when you need it. 💳 He’s not as hands on as Lucifer is but he doesn’t actually leave you alone with anyone who isn’t his brothers, does not trust another soul with your health. 💳 I’m your protector remember? I’ll protect you from everything even if it is yourself.

Leviathan

🎮 It took Levi a little while to figure it out considering he spent most of his time in his bedroom away from everyone else. 🎮 However the more time that you spent together the more that he realised that you didn’t seem to feel pain. 🎮 He watched as you stubbed your toe, smacked your hand on the bathtub or walked into the sofa but the real teller was when you bit your lip until it bleed one day. 🎮 Stop that. What? Your lips are bleeding, doesn’t that hurt? Not really, I don’t really feel pain. What? 🎮 Levi started to watch you more carefully, when he saw you chewing at your lip, he’ll hand you something else to chew food or chewing gum or something, even had a fidget toy in case you start pulling at the skin on your fingers or around your nails. 🎮 His scales make him the perfect cuddle buddy when you get too warm. I think he runs a little cooler than most other demons so it helped to cool you down when you were running a bit hot. 🎮 Would literally have you wear a watch that tracks your body with the app connected to his and your DDD so that he could make sure that you were okay. 🎮 Since he does his lessons at home, you will get random text messages like: You're getting too hot, take that jumper off or why’s your heart rate up? What are you doing? 🎮 Someone has to make sure that you die, you Normie.

Satan

🐈 Satan absolutely knew that there was something different about you and it took him less than 24 hrs to guess what it was. 🐈 Satan has a lot of knowledge, including knowledge on humans, he reads a lot and that meant that he had read about a lot of different ailments that humans could have so had read about CIPA but he didn’t think that he’d ever meet a human that had the ailments. 🐈 He then proceeds to find out everything that he doesn’t know about it so that when something happens he knows what to do. 🐈 Honestly he’s usually not around when something happens to you, you’ll probably walk into his bedroom after the fact and he would see that you were injured. 🐈 What happened? What? Your arm is bruised. What happened? Oh… I don’t know. Can you please be more careful? 🐈 Will not treat you like a child, you have been dealing with this all your life, you don’t need someone babying you. He is well aware of your limits though and will check on you if he thinks it’s necessary. 🐈 He’s always checking in with you but it’ll be more subtle then the others, he’ll press a kiss to your forehead to gauge your temperature or offer you cold or hot drinks to try and make sure that you stay at an optimum temperature. 🐈 You are the only person that he worries about when it comes to his cats, they are usually fine but he knows that they could do damage when they are playing with you, so he watches carefully and makes sure that you only use the cat's toys that he has bought for you to use. 🐈 Literally hates it when you have a knife and fork, he watches you like a hawk and if there’s even a single sign of danger, he’ll cut the food himself, he would have you cutting off your own limbs for dinner. 🐈 Stop. Stop that. Stop, I’ll do it.

Asmodeus

💅 Asmodeus kinda knew but he never said anything, just treated you the same as he would anyone else. 💅 It would be an accident when he finds out that you even have an issue, he was complaining about sweat one day and you dropped the bomb. 💅I wish I just didn’t sweat. No you don’t. I know that it’s fundamental or whatever Satan said but- No you don’t wish that because then you start fainting because of overheating and have the threat of a seizure every time you have a fever. What? 💅 You literally made his brain stop working because it took him a full minute to realise that you were talking from experience. Has you explain everything to him. Literally everything, he needs to understand. 💅 Now we all know that Asmo isn’t going to be able to protect you from everything so instead, he looks after your body for you, spa night where he does a full inventory, he notes any marks, bruises or wounds on your body and makes sure that they are healing properly. 💅 He hates seeing you hurt so he has like safety gloves that he just makes you wear, he wanted a full bubble to make sure that nothing apart from him touched you ever again. 💅 Would ask the others for help keeping you safe, literally bribing the family (not that he needed to, they all wanted you safe after all) and they are going to take everything that he offered. 💅 Asmo is literally the parent that follows you around with plasters, bandages and cold compress packs for any eventuality. 💅 Oh my god are you okay!? Here, what do you need? We’ll need a long spa day after this.

Beelzebub

🍔 Beel treated you like you were a delicate flower anyway, there was nothing that was gentle enough for you and he had to make sure that everything you did was tested first. 🍔 You will have to tell him what is going on with you because let’s be honest he does a very good job of keeping you out of trouble but that means that when something bad happens it’s really bad. 🍔 I think it’s broken. Yeah probably. Doesn’t that hurt. It’s supposed to. But it doesn’t. Not for me. 🍔 It’s up to you to explain the good and bad points of your ailment because even if he did read about it he’s not going to understand it at all. 🍔 Now all I can think of with this man is that he just holds you above all danger, like you’ll be on his shoulders or he’ll hoist you over his shoulder when he feels like you’ll get hurt. 🍔 Beel will avoid situations that he think will cause you any harm, he’s not always going to notice the signs that something is wrong so he tries to just keep you away from it instead. 🍔 Always has a drink, fan or coat if he thinks that you need it. You’ll honestly wonder where he pulls it out from, it doesn't matter he’ll always have it. 🍔 Keeps you away from his very rowdy Fangol team, they’ll have you seriously injured in less than a few seconds, he eventually told them how delicate you were and the best of the team looked out for you like you were their own, even had you on the bench sometimes to keep you out of the crowd. 🍔 Will let you sit on him not matter what he’s doing, laying on the couch eating, he’ll have you sit on his chest. Working out, you can be the counterweight (you might actually need to hold a weight to make it a challenge though). 🍔 I’m not really good at learning about stuff, but I can keep you safe. I promise

Belphegor

💤 Belphie is probably the one who finds out the earliest in your relationship and that’s because of everything he tried to do to you before you got him back to the rest of the family. 💤 You could see that he struggling with it and when he apologised you literally waved him off. 💤 Don’t worry I can’t feel anything anyway. Huh? I couldn’t feel anything that you did before, if that helps… You know it didn’t hurt. Now I’m guilty and confused. 💤 You explained properly what you were talking about and surprisingly enough he did understand a great deal about it. 💤 When you were alone together he would find himself asking if you ever wished to change your ailment and how it actually felt to have it. 💤 He’s probably the only one besides Beel to ask you what you wanted him to do and how he could help, he’s lazy and he doesn’t often find himself in many harmful situations so he doesn’t have to worry about that. It’s more about regulating your body and making sure that you are keeping yourself healthy. 💤 He kept snacks and other things around so that if you needed something it was to hand, you still hurt yourself sometimes when reaching for something or walking to the bathroom but nothing too serious with him. 💤 Orders Beel to keep you safe and return you back to him at the end of each school day because he knows at some point he’s going to sneak off to find somewhere to sleep and you might not always want to do that. 💤 Belphie learns you tells for when something is wrong and can figure most things out based on your answers, steals things from his brothers if he needs to make sure that you are comfortable, and also wraps his tail around you to stop you from rolling out of bed. 💤 Don’t worry you can spend the rest of your life in bed with me, nothing can hurt you here.

Request Here!!

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ranposgirlboss · 1 year

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~HCS FROM MY BOOK!!-PART ONE~

THIS IS MULTIFANDOM!! also most of these are either slander or made for being a silly joke <333 so please don't take this seriously

fandoms: genshin impact, bungou stray dogs, and honkai impact

genre: fluff, slander, and sillies (it progressively gets less and less serious)

enjoy my shitty hcs from like a year ago <333 (they are actually older lol) ALSO ARE EXTREMELY SHORT SINCE IM LITERALLY JUST TAKING WHAT I WROTE WITHOUT CHANGING IT AND PUTTING IT OVER ON HERE LMAOASBHJAS (there's only so much space on paper </3)

chara list!!: albedo, kazuha, xiao, diluc, heizou, fu hua (sentience), scaramouche, aponia, dazai, ranpo, poe, ANDDD nikolai!!

FIRST TIME HOLDING HANDS!!

ALBEDO

-"its all for an experiment" he says

-lil bitch ok sure

-probably gonna study what this feeling is when he holds your hand and "why he feels so warm on the inside"

-acts like he doesnt care that much but bros probably gonna draw yall holding hands like a 13 year old drawing in her diary 💀

KAZUHA

-i love him but

-probably would make a poem about how your hand feels 😭

-he would be so cute tho ngl

-i mean just as always but also like

-please hold his hand he just loves you so much and along with words of affirmation physical contact seems to be his thing

-UGH MARRY ME

XIAO

-"wow y/n when you hold my hand the voices cease their calls for me to go to taco bell, thank you y/n."

-TAKE ME HIGHH AND ILL SINGGGG YOU MAKE EVERYTHING OKAY OHKAY OHKAY OHKAY (if you know that song here's your free kiss <33)

-and then you get married the end

-W H Y D I D I W R I T E T H I S B Y E -

DILUC

-could give less of a shit

-but for the sake of being a gentleman he says thank you and then continues bat manning sillily.

HEIZOU

-"y/n holding hands is cool but i think we should start an investigation of how fast we could make it to my place ;)"

-KILL YOURSELF. (please dont lead the way my silly detective <33)

-this gif makes me want to impulsively eat vanilla cake.

FU HUA

-YAAAATTAAAAA

-*holds hand* look at the beautiful sight ahead of us Y/N! no i did not make that fire-"

-fu hua arsonist era

APONIA

-MOMMY bjnEBHEKHBWJSK

-"y/n holding hands is great but why don't we open our arms and eyes to god"

DAZAI

-I APOLOGIZE TO ALL MY BSD READERS WHO HAVE TO SCROLL THIS FAR JUST TO GET THIS SILLy

-"i can always hold more then your hand~"

-a flirty bitch, but yall got chuuya knocking on your door asking you to "control your dog"

-ironic how chuuya is the one who says that

RANPO

-UGH I LOVE MY SKRUNKLE DOODLE PUSH POP SILLY SKRUNKLY CRUNKLY MUMPLY SILLY (yes i wrote that WORD. FOR. WORD.)

-will hold your hand for payments

-affection?? candy??? candys nuts fit in your mouth because they sure are about to <33 (i want to erase what i write sometimes)

-gets so happy omg

-not only does he have candy, you, but NOW he gets to hold your hand too>!1/!?!?

-wow he might as well steal from a candy store at this point

-might as well

-he swears it was an accident

POE

-poe held your hand with such sweetness, care, tenderness, love, and affection

-karl pulls up in his Mazarati, ready to throw hands once and for all, how DARE someone get more attention then karl

-poe has some explaining to do

-(i wonder how high i was when i wrote these)

-(i think i was 5'5)

NIKOLAI ( I FUCKING LOVE THIS ONE)

-so you go to hold his hand in y/n fashion

-suddenly you almost get hit by a bus

-"shit my bad wrong item"

-you stare in utter confusion at the bus as it suddenly vanishes like a fucking mob from minecraft or some shit

-nikolai god arc confirmed real

-so anyways you suddenly feel warmth on your hand on you see another fucking hand gripping yours but its literally just the hand detached from the body

-you are extremely scared and concerned why there's another hand gripping yours out of nowhere but with nikolai anything is possible so you just accept it and hold his hand back

-he giggles and nikolais away with the hand still holding yours

-(I ASKED HOW HIGH I WAS WHEN I WROTE THE LAST ONE BUT WHAT IS EVEN HAPPENING HERE.)

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the voices

ALOS THNAK YOU FOR READING THIS PIECE OF SHIT IM SORRY. SHE WAS ME FROM A YEAR AGO I DONT KNOW HER 😭

alos my reqs are always open

I ALSO APOLOGIZE FOR THE TAGS

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mellorphic · 1 year

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In Defence of c!Niki - a Four Part Analysis of Every Arc

People who didn’t watch C!Niki see, in the fandom, a big sister type character with girlboss energy who wants to kill a child. Niki isn’t that. She has a well-written narrative which focusses a lot on her relationships with others. Here is me breaking it down!

PART ONE: c!Niki’s Early Days

PART TWO: c!Niki’s Rebellion

PART THREE: c!Niki’s Disillusionment (you are here)

PART FOUR: c!Niki’s Healing

TW FOR THIS SECTION: brief mention of sh, derealisation, a lot of discussion on grief and death. Let me know if I should add more tws

I don’t think c!Niki’s disillusionment arc started on Doomsday, randomly. I think it started on the day of the festival, when Niki watched her friend die, was chased out of her home, and saw how much her best friend had changed.

Despite her anger at Tubbo for his speech (which sounded very pro-Schlatt) she still told Schlatt to let him out once Schlatt and Quackity started to box him in. It still had not been revealed quite yet that Tubbo was a spy, yet Niki still stood up for Tubbo regardless of how she felt about him. That’s the thing about Niki. She is a good person with sound morals who will support people even if their views don’t align with hers, because she knows what’s right and what’s wrong and she won’t let ‘wrong’ happen to anyone.

Once Techno killed him, Schlatt literally fucking exiled her.

N: You killed him!

S: yeah, I did. I did fucking kill him, Niki.

N: you are so cruel- how could you do that? After everything he has done for you?!

S: he’s been a thorn in my side since-

N: I DONT EVEN WANT TO BE HERE.

S: he-

N: I DON’T EVEN WANT TO BE HERE!

S: […] you can leave if you want

N: ….Where am I supposed to go?

Manberg may not be Niki’s home but L’Manberg is and it always will be. That’s why the thought of leaving for good hurt her so much. Wilbur comes out into the open after she says this, and he defends her.

S: you really crawled up here on the day of my festival, celebrating my country. That you are not a part of. And you started- you started crying.

W: You sounded like you were gonna murder another person.

S: no, I was only gonna murder Tubbo.

W: you sounded like you were gonna go for Niki.

S: he’s the only person- well I mean, Niki..

N: what?

S: I might murder Niki, actually. I might murder her.

Wilbur tells her to run. Fundy gives Schlatt arrows but he and Quackity tell Schlatt not to do it, all the while Niki’s getting chased out of the country she used to love. This solidifies for her the fact that she truly has lost everything. Ponk chased her down and he killed her - Ponk, who a few streams before, Niki had called a friend. Earlier Techno had also killed her, when he shot at the audience after killing Tubbo. According to the wiki neither of those are canon deaths but I think they should be. At the very least, being killed by Ponk should be.

She joined Pogtopia that day, and Niki already had heard about Wilbur’s plans from Tommy. He, her and Tubbo had all vowed to get L’Manberg back and at this point in time, Tommy was the person she trusted the most. Her relationship with Tubbo had been ruined because of her thinking she was on Schlatt’s side - and even now that she knew he hadn’t been, it didn’t change the fact that he did not stick up for her while she was there. Her relationship with Wilbur was still a close one but she was scared for him and worried for L’Manberg’s future. But Tommy hadn’t wronged her, and she knew she could trust him to help with Wilbur.

Her birthday party was where she really saw the extent of Wilbur’s mental decline first hand and was completely powerless in stopping it. The day had been going so well, and she’d been having fun, until Wilbur went to blow up Manberg. Niki had to beg him to stop playing the anthem and Quackity talked him down from blowing it up, but Niki was terrified.

This is when Niki began working on her Secret City - intended to be a safe space away from the conflict, or a last resort for refugees if the war went badly.

On November 16th, Niki was hopeful, especially after Techno revealed his armoury. That day, Niki also defended Eret when they were accused of being the traitor, saying she trusted them and that they helped her. Once again, proving her loyalty and the fact she was grateful for people who stuck by her side.

We all know what happened later. After they got L’Manberg back, and were cleaning up, Niki found the TNT Wilbur had placed under the podium. She made sure nobody else saw it and she hid it again. Because after everything, Niki still believed in Wilbur. She was still loyal to him. She still saw the good in him and trusted that he wouldn’t. But he did.

She’d kept her promise, she’d been loyal to him and L’Manberg, and it didn’t change anything. She didn’t manage to help anything. And Wilbur, the one person Niki believed would always be there for her, no matter what, betrayed her. And she couldn’t even ask him why. So after that she was left hopeless and never wanted to let anyone in again. But as much as Niki didn’t want to, that doesn’t mean it didn’t happen.

Tommy reminded the L’Manbergians that the L’Mantree was still there. And I think Niki found that comforting, at the very least. She asked Tubbo what they were going to do with Wilbur’s body and his only response was “let him rot”. She and Tommy were the only ones who didn’t laugh.

At this point Tommy became a constant, for Niki. He’d been there since she joined, he was the only one who understood that she still wanted Wilbur back, and in her eyes he was able to take on his role in the sense of inspiring them all.

So, of course it hit her hard when he tried to blame her for burning down George’s house. Then, he’s exiled and the next time she heads from him it’s because he blew up the community house - we know he didn’t, but Niki didn’t. She begins to see Tommy as someone who just causes problems on the SMP, nothing more. She thinks he’s arrogant and a nuisance and that he doesn’t care for anyone.

When it comes to Niki’s character it’s vital that we understand - she has been through so much pain that got overlooked by everyone around her. At this point, she was poor, grieving, and felt as if nobody in New L’Manberg listened to her. She was going through the lowest point in her life and nobody in that nation seemed to care.

And she couldn’t hate everyone for it so she needed someone to blame and that happened to be Tommy. He didn’t deserve it but he was an easy target. And it’s true that he wasn’t kind to her, but he wasn’t the only one, and he was obviously going through his own things. But Niki was angry and she needed somewhere to put her anger. Is that fair? Not at all. But it’s what happened.

N: L’Manberg has not been L’Manberg. For many weeks. Maybe even months, maybe even.. maybe even, I don’t know.. since the start? […] I want the people to realise L’Manberg is not what they think it is. I want them to open their eyes and stop being in this circle.. in this circle of fighting for it. Because that will not bring us anywhere.

Do I even need to say anything? She fought for it for so long, on her own, and lost everything and everyone anyway.

On Doomsday, she spoke to Ranboo.

N: Do you.. do you really think L’Manberg should be safe today? …Ranboo, I will- If you think that we should fight for L’Manberg today, I will fight with you. Because I believe in you. And I always believed in you.

R: I think we should. […] the thing is, if we don’t fight with them, then what are we showing them? We’re showing them that we never cared about them.

N: .. i care about them, I really do. But I got.. hurt by them… They always talk over me, Ranboo. You know how that feels.

R: yeah. But like you remember yesterday, sometimes you just have to get louder.

N: You’re right..

R: sometimes you just have to get louder until they have no choice but to hear you.

And good god, isn’t that exactly what she did? Something something, peaceful protest is ignored (striking at her bakery, not paying her taxes, verbally standing up to Schlatt). OSomething something, she got louder. (Burning down the L’Mantree, blowing up her bakery)

An underrated line from Doomsday though? Niki telling her chat that she needed to save Puffy. I think she was muted so you’d only hear the line if you were on her stream, but she tried to help Puffy after and seemed distressed that she couldn’t get to her. Puffychu crumbs.

She held it together until she saw Ghostbur, believing she was hallucinating and repeating to herself that Wilbur was gone and that he betrayed her. She doesn’t want to care, but she does. And the idea of Wilbur still existing terrifies her, because what does that say about her grief? And if her grief isn’t justified, then the things she’s done definitely aren’t. As long as Wilbur is dead, Niki feels like she has a reason for her anger.

During her meltdown Niki is rambling. ‘Wilbur is dead’ becomes ‘L’Manberg is dead’ which becomes ‘L’Manberg is gone’ which becomes ‘I am gone’ and ‘I am L’Manberg’. This reveals a lot about Niki, even if it may seem nonsensical at first glance.

I’ve made a post before about how for crime boys, L’Manberg is interchangeable with the other person (For Tommy, it’s Wilbur. For Wilbur, it’s Tommy.) And I think that this is the same thing for Niki. L’Manberg is Wilbur. Wilbur couldn’t live without L’Manberg, and L’Manberg isn’t the same without Wilbur.

Then, she is gone and she is L’Manberg. Niki isn’t the same person she used to be and she’s starting to think that she can’t live without L’Manberg either, not happily, anyway. But at the same time, she helps to destroy it because the memories are too much to bare, and all it does is remind her of all the times she’s been hurt there. She can’t see the good in it anymore.

Destroying her own bakery was somewhere between emotional self-harm and trying to separate herself from L’Manberg as much as possible. There could’ve also been a sense of survivors guilt? Everyone else’s homes and things were destroyed but Niki’s bakery was untouched, and she found that really unsettling.

She talks to Jack about why she burnt down the tree, saying it was because she’s lost everyone.

J: that’s not a very good way of going ‘hey, I wanna be friends again’, burning down their sacred tree.

N: i don’t want to be friends with any of them again! Have you seen them?

J: then why do you care?!

N: because it hurt me! […] we both have been ignored by all of them all the time. We walk behind them slowly and-and carefully because they will ignore us all the time but we wanna be part! We wanna be part- we’re like little puppies, aren’t we?! Like little puppies, just walking and walking. But they’re never going to see us. All we are for them is something to take something from. […] whats the difference between these people and us? When we lose something, we lost it. And we grieve it. And it will be a part of us. When they lose something? They move on and they find something new.

I feel like people who think c!Niki is badly written or don’t like her just watch this stream and think she is overreacting because they don’t know her lore. But none of this came out of nowhere.

The thing is, Niki was ignored throughout Manberg and New L’Manberg by Tubbo and Fundy and sometimes even Eret. Niki has had things taken from her by Schlatt and Tommy. She has seen everyone move on from Wilbur when she couldn’t.

I think the other characters did care about her - Wilbur definitely did and Tommy did too. Karl did, Eret did, Puffy did. But it’s so difficult for her to see that because the love is so quiet in comparison to everything else. She’s no longer an idealist, she can’t see it when it isn’t right in front of her. And that doesn’t mean she’s wrong. She’s not completely right, but she’s not wrong about being used and feeling unwanted. That did happen.

So why does this turn into hatred at Tommy? Like I said earlier - he was a constant. The only one she still had after Wilbur, but he didn’t seem like he cared about her. In Niki’s eyes he became just like the rest of them - he used her left, and then when he came back she thought he’d replaced Wilbur with Techno and was now replacing him with Tubbo.

(I’m not saying I think that’s what happened but it’s what Niki saw. This part of my analysis is also partly speculation and partly based on things Niki said after the fact, because I can’t find the vod where she and Jack decided to target Tommy specifically, I think there’s a missing one between Niki’s Doomsday vod and the one where Jack tells her about the nukes.)

She directs her anger at him also because it gives her an ally. Jack blames Tommy for most of what’s happened to him, because Tommy resulted in him losing his second life; if Niki agrees that it’s his fault then she has Jack. So unconsciously she starts directing her anger more towards him.

The thing about Tommy is that he’s loud. He’s annoying. He can be rude. He doesn’t take things seriously, especially when he’s being painted in the wrong, because he doesn’t know how to handle it so he just deflects.

That makes him a really easy target for anger. But the vast majority of what happened to Niki was never Tommy’s fault. She blames him for Doomsday, she’s angry that he used her, and she’s processing her grief of Wilbur through hating Tommy. That’s why she does what she does.

#dream smp #niki nihachu #c!niki #c!niki analysis #dsmp #nihachu analysis #the syndicate #dsmp season 4 #dsmp season 3 #healing arc #wilbur revival #Niki’s secret city #orphic talks #in defence of c!niki

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lakesbian · 1 year

Text

Dearest Aisha, I hope this letter finds you well on this horrible sunny day. I’m leaving you this message because my heart is twisted in twain, and you must know that it’s not you, it’s me. What we had was wonderful, but alas, my future in the Bay is either woefully short or non-existent and as such I must bid you adieu. Or in plain English, I’m leaving because this whole plan Glory and Taylor cooked up isn’t my thing and would just put a target on my back. Maybe things would’ve been different if we weren’t pulling up the curtain, but oh well. Try not to be too upset about it. I left the playstation behind, and feel free to save over my old files. Say bye to the others for me, just don’t be too mushy about it. -Alec.

JESUS. WHY DO PEOPLE THINK HE TALKS LIKE THIS. alec wouldnt say bid you adieu if you paid him. or Twain. or Dearest Aisha. oh my god hed gag before saying dearest aisha. hang on we need a full count off of the sins here

the base premise that he didn't discuss his feelings about victoria and taylor's plan with aisha beforehand is absurd--they're extremely communicative with each other

the base premise that taylor would go along with anything victoria cop dallon said in the first place is insane and makes me want to see the person op thinks victoria is killed badly by bugs

the base premise that Aisha is fine with victoria cop dallon's plans instead of going "alec isnt this fucking sucks." is insane.

the base premise that alec is the only undersider not okay with victoria cop dallon's plans is also insane. I'm going to be real with you they would kill her immediately and without hesitation for alec and they dont even like him that much.

again, it's absurd to act as if aisha and alec are noncommunicative enough that he would drop this on her as opposed to telling her he was considering leaving off the bat. also i think she has enough wrong with her that she would want to go with him. but i digress, that's besides the point because

alec would not want to leave without aisha in the first place. people latch on so hard to him casually suggesting leaving the undersiders in that one early chapter but like. he's doing that bc it's in the context of a hypothetical scenario where his dad is getting after him. he always unequivocally backs them & follows their lead when they get into Shit That Is Not About Him--he's just both not wanting 2 burden the undersiders w/ having 2 deal w/ his dad + assuming that they wouldn't necessarily Want to help. once they say they would help he's like. oh ok. and this is certainly the last time he ever even considers leaving. those are the only ppl he has he's not walking his ass out of there. he Thinks he doesn't care but in any situation where he's at risk of exiting or losing one of them he leans HARD into backing them up. e.g. knocking himself unconscious to help brian sacrificing himself for aisha suggesting leaving town As A Team when the s9 is there and explicitly mentioning stopping to pick up rachel first. his actions demonstrate how he feels even if he isnt consciously aware of it. this entire situation is cartoonishly implausible but even if it did happen he would just not react this way

anyway the fic literally just ends like this.

A/N: And so the curtain rises. Or sets? Maybe it’s an interlude? Or a intermission? I didn’t really think this metaphor through. Writing Alec is hard, but I’m hoping I managed well here. No, this is not an elaborate rug pull or “oh he shows up later”. Alec is gone. He doesn’t show up for the rest of the story. And the reasoning for that should be laid out pretty clearly here. Maybe in another world, where Tori and Taylor resolved the communication issue before this point, they could’ve had that conversation. But they didn’t and he didn’t. So the only way out was out. Alec was never going to be willing to unmask. And with that knowledge, what happened last chapter should be a lot clearer. Today’s rec is an essay on Alec’s Costume by ewingstan on Tumblr, which does an excellent job breaking down his character in terms of psychology and code switching between his cape self and who he is regularly. Or rather, how there’s not much difference at all. I’ll see you all next week.

YOU DID NOT MANAGE WELL. HOW ARE YOU READING AND LINKING GOOD ALEC POSTS (albeit ones i had a bit 2 expand on but like. Its a good post it stands on its own.) but not internalizing Any Of Them. my god. this is so funny. there he goes fucking off into the sunset leaving literally his entire life behind because op understands nothing about him. resti n peace boy. ok thus concludes my Complaining. i'd apologize but its my blog and i can do what i want forever

#worm spoilers #scarf don't look

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x-itzzzzzz-x · 9 months

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feel like i’m genuinely losing my mind bc what am i even doing my brain feels so so wrong n i’m so tired n i have no time before uni to just enjoy stuff n i have no motivation to do anything i want to and i don’t go out or do anything n i’m so miserable as is nvm going back to uni i actually just feel nothing but misery i’m so sick of it

like i don’t understand how ppl have fulfilling relationships with others , go to uni and feel motivated n good about it and do well , who work , have time to themselves as well as going out

like i can’t even just exist with no responsibilities without feeling overwhelmed and like i want to kms

my relationships w my family is shit , i ruin all my friendships and i have no other relationships

i’m failing uni embarrassingly so , the course im worst at is the whole reason i’m at uni and one of the only things i’m passionate about and i can barely even pass literally have passed only by 2 marks like

i don’t draw , i don’t read , dont play video games , don’t craft , don’t watch what i want. literally all i do is rot away

i also dont go out and everytime i go out or am around other people its horrid or i ruin it

idek how i’m supposed to go to uni so so genuinely every time i leave the house i get overwhelmed and feel sick and it’s just so horrible n exhausting n i don’t want to it’s so humiliating having to be around others and knowing they are all real people and smarter then me i just hate uni so much it makes me feel worthless

im so skint aswell otherwise id atleast buy myself stuff to feel some semblance of joy but i just cant

nothing feels good qnd i dont see the point in anything like genuinely what is even the point in anything im so spoilt and all i do is ruin stuff for myself and others then wallow in self pity

i hate myself so much i make myself sick

i’m just so tired i wanna be happy i wanna feel like a real person why am i not why can’t i just be a normal happy person

#i’m over it #i just wanna die #or ruin my life #getting better and enjoying life #is so tiring #like i’m so serious #i can’t do it #autism #lonelly #social anxiety #actually autistic #rsd #bpd #tw vent #tw sui ideation #tw sui vent

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heroictoonz · 3 months

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not going to comment on the ramcoa stuff? yeah thought not.

Crazy how I have a life and a job and didn't give a shit to respond to u when I'm busy n only scrolly tumblr idly but since u clearly got a thing for me ill bite cause you also need my opinions reexplained to you like a child

Also I googled ramcoa cause I didn’t know what that word means (i also didnt know what endo meant till like earlier this fuckin year cause everyone was being very loud and annoying about it) and all I got was "RAMCOA is an acronym for Ritual Abuse, Mind Control, and Organized Abuse." which like. what the FUCK are you even talking about mind control? fucking ORGANIZED ABUSE this is like classic cult aligned shit how does this even relevant to endos and that stuff. please tell me this is a word or acronym for something else that google isnt telling me cause just genuinely huh

listen i took a look at the link u sent i dont wanna post that cause i dont want ppl harassing others on the internet like you seem to want but just for the love of fuck listen to me for two seconds like honest to god read my words and let them sink in

the post you sent me i have literally no context for to me it looks like a shit post. ive made jokes like that before and i need to reiterate that they are JOKES and i am NOT ENDO and i say shit for goofs cause to me and my friends its funny. whether it is or is not a joke is, honestly, not my business. I dont know that person personally i dont know their life i dont know their story so i dont set it as my mission to find people i dont agree with and flip my shit at them. again. life. job. no interest. im 24 and literally not my job to babysit other ppl on the internet i block who i dont like follow who i do and live on w my life (which. highly recommended for all. you too Chuck. makes life so much more livable)

in regards to ur stuff about misinformation the way I see it is people will spread bullshit about just about every topic under the sun. it is, once again, not my job to go around "um actually" everything on the internet. if someone asks me a question i answer if someone im directly talking to has wrong information i try to correct them

When it comes to a lot of people, however, not many of them want to change their minds on things. sometimes some people arent even at a point of their life to be open minded and listen. which, im not gonna stress myself out to correct someone else. Even i had a point in my life where i was so hardheaded and full of hate (it was a weird cringe culture group i was in and didnt think for myself and honestly i caused a lot of damage in that time of my life and even now I regret it. But man thats life. And like if i try to correct and if they dont listen i go okay and dip after a point (which, for you. is prob gonna be here. cause im gonna say all my thoughts here and be done with this conversation honestly also work is suuuuuper busy rn like fr wish me luck w this summer season sobs) theres a part of me that hopes you will either see reason with this reply and chill out or you will continue to disagree with me but at least for both of our sanity stop messaging me either way i wont be replying again to you just so you are aware

now im just gonna be so fucking blunt here. do i believe endo is a thing? (ie: people can be systems without trauma) honestly? i dont know! here is how i see it; im not a medical professional. I have an interest in psychology i have a copy of the dsm5 cause im a nerd (its with my law books. again. im a nerd.) but im no scientist. at the same time; i dont really trust medical professionals all that much? i would like to. really i would. but it always feels like so many of them dont take the time to actually try with diagnosis. too many people of color or fat people and shit like that always say that they are constantly misdiagnosed or ignored due to predigests. again, because i was born a girl i was never diagnosed properly when i was a kid. this happened twice actually! and even then ive had to deal with doctors and therapists who dont believe me even WITH a formal diagnosis to my name. ive had a therapist tell me that i DIDNT have bpd because i was, in her words, "too nice" and she refused to start me on cbd insisting the doctor was wrong. its scary as fuck honestly. plus, like i said in the last post, mental health is so under researched. which is also so scary to me. theres so much that doctors dont know. that WE dont know. theres so much that doctors get wrong. sometimes cause theyre only human and sometimes cause they willfully ignore patients.

so, the way i see it, is that maybe you can have a system without trauma or maybe you cant. i dont know personally and where i stand i dont know how much credit i would put to research done on a mental disability that is still to this day so disgustingly stigmatized and viewed as dangerous or scary. ive seen split. i know david haller (i like david haller but also every time i think about the live action show or how they really treat him as a character i sob in my little heart every fuckin day man fr) so to me i chalk it up to 'fuck if i know' and move on.

The other thing is that since i personally am not an endo in my head i also have no evidence to form a hard opinion on this at all. Again, my system DID come from trauma. In fact, for most of the system mates i can pinpoint exactly which traumas and/or parts of my life they came from (some i dont but i am also pretty sure im missing a very large chunk of my middle school memories so who the fuck knows) but honestly. if you have a hard opinion on the yes or no here thats fine youre intitled to your own opinion ig

but you shouldnt harass people on the internet or accuse them of being fake. this is what my problem is with anti-endos.

This has also been my like, whole side of this conversation. Which is why im really begging you to listen and read my words cause i very much think you are reading me wrong here. I literally couldnt give less of a shit about your personal opinion on this kinda stuff. Like i dont know you were not friends you’re a random anon on the internet. You disagreeing with me does not phase me one bit. I clearly have stuff to say but thats just cause i talk a lot and like to share my thoughts more than anything else. Honestly. You can send me a like one sentence question and ill accidentally reply with an essay. Have you SEEN the rants ive been on lmaooo

What does frustrate me, is that you feel the need to harass people and accuse people of faking stuff for attention with NO fucking thought. When you sent your first anon i can only assume its cause i reblogged my friend Wendy’s post about endos and syscourse (i hate syscourse so much but MAN that is a good fucking play on words it almost makes me mad lol) you asked if i had did/osdd and i said yes and you IMMEDIATELY went into my asks and accused me of being 1) an endo and 2) faking for attention despite that neither of those can be inferred by my answer especially when i 1) never once said I WAS endo personally (because. Again. Not) and 2) i specifically explained in my first response (thinking u were just a good natured random) that while, yes, i am a system, i dont talk about it very openly or much at all only vaguely mentioning it here n there on my personal blog when i feel the need or want on a specific topic (like when i made a joke post about being a system and watching RvB and the Meta who is this character that has a buncha AI crammed in his head). If anything, it makes you more fuckin wrong cause me NOT mentioning being a system almost ever shows more to the light that im NOT focusing on wanting attention or shit like that if anything i think i make more jokes about being autistic and trans. Are you gonna accuse me of being fake trans and fake autistic just for attention? Because i talk about it more? No, cause that would make like zero sense. (Unless u want to ig tho honestly i think being called a fake trans would be so funny as anon hate like genuinely that would make me snort i think. Guy who uses he/him and openly talks about having periods and shit like that accused as fake trans rguireghrhuigr)

To me, at least, you have already proven that your ideology is flawed. Your method of pointing out ‘fakes’ and ‘attention seekers’ is just really nonsensical. Either that or you do honestly have the reading comprehension of a five year old. The oooonly reason i could maaaaaybe see you thinking im ‘attention seeking’ is when I vaguely mentioned in the tags of that first post that I had a system specific blog however i also 1) do not advertise it nor did i put the name of it on that post OR ask you to follow it and 2) admitted that its barely ever used. Again, still making no sense to your accusation

And like, honestly, at the end of the day, accusing people you dont know on the internet just by random posts they post or terminology they identify with for being fake is just so, in your own words, gross. You dont know these people’s lives. You dont know what they’ve been through. Again, completely ignoring whether you can or cannot have system without trauma my original long response talked about how the person identifying as endo might actually have trauma and not know/recognize it as such and by harassing them you are only making everything worse for them. You LITERALLY do not know these people. You dont know me and you made that very clear when you were so crushingly wrong about me by literally just the second anon you sent.

As someone who deals with the anxiety and fear that i am secretly a fake and dont know it, not just about being a system but like. A SHIT ton of stuff in my life, it does not help when random fucking people come accusing me of that exact fear. Going back to that therapist who tried to tell me she didnt think i had bpd it took me SO FUCKING LONG to accept i did in fact have bpd after that. And it was fucking painful to deal with mentally. When every sign in the motherfucking book pointed to YES i have this thing but all it took was ONE woman with a degree to tell me i was ‘too nice’ and suddenly my world fell apart. I no longer felt like i had a name to the feelings and thoughts i was suffering from. Dude that shit SUCKS it is SO painful and stressful. Like literally, please, for the love of all that is holy, do not inflict that on others. You might think youre bringing justice in some weird way but theres a higher chance that you are hurting people just as much as you seem to think endos cause hurt.

Now, because i know you SO DESPERATELY wanna know my opinion on the post you sent in the unanswered ask, honestly? I dont know how much i agree with that persons post. Like. Playing in the field of maybe that was an honest to god opinion and not just like a joke they were making, really not sure how i feel about it. In my opinion, i wouldn’t be running around trying to get my brain to spawn in more little fuckers to deal with. But i also have a lot of mixed feelings about being a system and my headmates. For one i dont get along with all of them, and not all of them get along with each other. Shits really annoying and in some extreme cases stressful as fuck. Every time something new pops into existence, I’ll be real, im kinda scared. I dont know how things will once again change or shift. And my head is just a single head. Its one brain that now has to deal with so much going on i get a lot of headaches and dissociate sometimes even in the middle of doing things or talking to people cause shit will just randomly become chaos (tho im sure other mental things attribute to all that too here n there idk) but I wouldn’t say i hate being a system. I also dont think id ever wanna do that like fuse therapy shit and get rid of the others. Both out of a fear of losing myself and a fear of losing some of them. That shit sounds kinda scary to me. And where, yeah theres some that i dont get along with, there are others that i do get along with! And love a lot! I jokingly call some of them my siblings cause a lot of them have been around since i was a little kid (tho ill admit for a while I thought i just had a REALLY strong imagination and that for some reason my imaginary friends kept talking to me even as an adult till i finally realized hm. Maybe this is not the case. Lol) so like ya you’ll never see me honest to god saying ‘man i wish i had MORE random bastards in my head’ but like, thats just me

I’ve met so many systems and a lot of them are different. I’ve met some that WANT to fuse (i dont think thats the word they use for that therapy but i just got home from a stressful 8 hours on The Grind so I can’t think words all too well lol) ive met people that LOVE being a system people who hate it people who are pretty indifferent to it. I’ve met systems who are have a different person fronting every day ive met systems where you almost never see or hear from the others and its just primarily the host that takes charge. So many different people feel differently about the same things. That’s just life. But I am not gonna use ONE post randomly shown to me to 1) make an assumption on someone (especially something as harmful as faking) or 2) as a valid reason to harass them. Especially not when the person showing the post to me has only acted hostile towards me. Like honestly. Genuine tip here, being rude and mean to people is not how you try to change their minds or try to educate them on something. Walking into my house and telling me im the fake hedgehog just cause of one post and one answered ask and then trying to tell me im wrong is like so not the way my guy fr

I’m pretty sure ive said my entire peace on the matter here. So yeah, again if you send me any more anons i wont be answering them. I’m saying this just to try and save you some time and also some peace of mind. Honestly, please block me. Please forget my existence and go live your life. Its honestly worrying how you have now spent like two days in my anons about this shit, like i am not even joking like the joke is over please please please finish reading this, block me, and go watch one of your favorite comfort movies and smile i mean this so seriously

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witch-sweets · 7 months

Text

WHAT HAVE I DONE? I JUST WROTE A SUPER LONG FIC ABOUT QUEEN VANESSA THATS WHAT!

And it's a songfic

Also technically a horror fic because people die and stuff gets spooky

Please read the warnings in the tags before you read they are very serious

Killer Queen

"Earth to Crown boy!" The Prince snapped out of his thoughts "Sorry Lune!" "we have a test to do focus!" Right! he had completely forgotten. he was in the middle of studying the divorce process this was important! a smug smile appeared on his blue haired classmate. "your thinking about her aren't you~" Lune teased "how can i not!" "here we go again-" "she has beautiful silky blonde hair, she has eyes that shine like rubies, she is kind to all her subjects, her crown always sparkles-" "ok i get it your madly in love with her! some people aren't as lucky as you to score a literal queen!" "i mean she wasn't always a queen. i knew her before then infact! Ive know her for years." "If so then has she always been lovey-dovey around you?" The Prince looked at his classmate in confusion "what do you mean?" "its obvious she more head over heels than you are! it almost freaks me out how insanely in love she is!" he shifted his eyes away from Lune "i mean i guess shes always been like this even though i was the one to confess..." Lune looked at him with concern "just be careful ok? set boundaries, make sure she doesn't interfere with your life and your goals." "ok..."

"Princess ive returned!" the halls were silent claws marking the corridor. "i brought you flowers..." he said his voice unsure. "i thought you loved me!" even when she was upset there was still an air of elegance to her-wait upset? why was she upset? "my love what are you talking about?" he was confused to say the least. "YOU WERE HOLDING HANDS WITH HER!" "m-my love i dont know what your taking about how about we dicuss it over some tea?" "TEA WONT FIX YOUR TREACHERY!" he stepped back. ok maybe she was more upset then he thought but why? what did he do... "i understand your upset Nessa how about you explain what i did wrong-" an icicle shot up from the floor nearly impaling his chest right where his heart would be. "YOU KNOW WHAT YOU DID! YOU WERE WITH HER!" who was she talking about? "N-Nessa please lets try to handle this maturely-" he felt ice cold claws swipe across his cheek. there she was staring straight through his soul with gleaming ruby red eyes, her crown glittering against the ice haphazardly spread across the walls. "N-Nessa p-please?" "GUARDS! LOCK HIM AWAY I NEVER WANT TO SEE HIS TRAITOROUS FACE AGAIN!!!"

"Nessa PLEASE!" his screams were fruitless. tears began to trickle down his cheeks. He couldn't believe he fell for her-her perfect face, and sweet demeanor, and-and her crowns, and her manor, and those ruby red eyes! wait... no stay positive this will all blow over right? right. she would release him and apologize for her actions and they would hold hands under the moonlight and everything would be ok! right? YES! STOP DOUBTING! she didn't mean any of the things she said they had fights before and it always turned out ok! it was getting colder by the minute. it was spring though? unless she froze the entire manor in anger which he absolutely believed she would-wait no he didn't she was better than this... wasn't she? his thought flipped between blaming Vanessa and blaming himself to the point where he didn't know who's fault it was anymore. "VANESSA PLEASE CAN WE WORK THIS OUT?" it had been 2 years since he called her name but the situation was desperate enough to warrant it... it had been 1day and the dread was finally setting in... He wasn't getting out he was going to die down here but that didn't stop him from begging until his throat was sore and all he could do was cry. 4 days passed and he couldn't cry anymore all he could do was remain as he was until death claimed him... he had lost all hope. the 5th day exhaustion finally set in as the cold lulled him to sleep... for the rest of eternity.

it was a calm spring day in the village. Ivy had just sold some flowers to Prince and everything was normal... until it started snowing. the residents were confused. wasn't it the middle of spring? as the snow continued to fall a dark shadow set over the village. the storm started small beginning as a strange but tame snowfall but as time moved on the winds slowly grew intense and the snow soon flurried to the point it was hard to see, the wind so rapid it could blow away a small animal with ease. and then the ice began to appear. spiking out of the ground nearly impaling several villagers. as it spread throughout the village blocking any possible exits. and in that moment all HELL broke lose. The ice began to encase people everyone running in fear from the crystals cold grasp but it was futile as more and more people were encased in an icy demise. screams echoed through the woods as everyone ran and panicked in fear. until SHE showed up... a shadowy figure with tangled hair black as the void, long claws tipped with frost, and ruby red eyes gleaming with malice. deranged laughter rang throughout the land as more and more villagers were frozen solid. children crying, adults praying to whatever god was out there for mercy, people hiding anywhere they could all in futile attempt to escape the fate that awaited them. once the last child was frozen the Queen let out a mad cackle as she returned to her manor... the woods were quiet once more...

Hat Kid had no idea what she was getting into. the cold wasteland greeted her. It was nothing like the rest of the woods to the point she was unsure of her choice don't get her wrong she did NOT want to touch an outhouse but at he same time the icy graveyard that awaited her wasn't a very good alternative. as she approached the manor she could feel eyes on her but she didn't know where. there were those weird shaped ice spikes coming from the ground but they were just ice... right? walking through the cellar was nauseating she could barely stand. she heard voices from all around her. desperate screams for someone named Vanessa to come back and when the screams ceased she heard familiar laughter ring out from all around her. she plugged her ears but i did nothing to cease the manic echoey laughs. once she crawled out of the cellar she managed to stand back up and shamble towards a door strange whispering surrounding her as she limped. "WHOS THERE WHO DARES ENTER MY HOME!" she fell onto her back as the floor began to shake and a blinding red glare filled her vision. she tried to stand but she couldn't. a large shadowy figure lunged at her grabbing her by her neck and slamming her against a wall. ice began to creep around her as she screamed for someone-ANYONE to help her! but it was no use... she stared the monster in its ruby red eyes right before shutting them. she didn't want the last thing she saw to be a monster. The ice creeped further and further up her neck. she just wanted it to be over already she BEGGED for it to be over soon. she felt drowsy she could barely stay awake... it was too cold.

"should've seen her back in the day kid! like dynamite with a laserbeam!" the spirit taunted her. she was already having a hard time avoiding the security penguins. "WHO? WHO ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT IM KINDA BUSY RIGHT NOW!" she leaped across sandbags and rolled onto to next platform "oh nobody of importance i thought you knew that kid?" she didn't admit it but she did know who he was talking about. he was talking about the The ice reaper, The Ruler who snapped... The Killer Queen...

#a hat in time #ahit #ahit snatcher #ahit the prince #ahit queen vanessa #ahit hat kid #Cw death #cw child death #cw abuse #Lots of people die #Prince dies (obviously)#Hat Kid suffers #Angst #The ending is kinda cheesy but idc #Hat Kid experiences some creepy visions in the manor #Think that moment is chapter 4 of batim where all the inky hands reach out of the walls #Yeah she's experiencing that #I think we as a fandom should start calling Vanessa The Ice Reaper #Cuz it's sick as hell

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bannanafanta · 1 year

Text

tw: pr0ship mention, me being utterly confused bc of twitter, me probably overthinking a common issue in fandoms

ok so like....why is almost all of playfellowxxx on twitter specifically just pr0shippers?

Not trying to start anything here ive just been trying to avoid them and block like im supposed to and it just seems like im blocking 70% or more of the people in the tag bc they're pr0ship (plus the small percentage that were pr0ship AND who were apparently ped0s via proof of call out posts).

and like dont get me wrong here, im not trying to be hateful here im just not sure how to find out if someones pr0ship unless i dig (which im rather uncomfortable with doing). bc pr0shippers literally out here reblogging from ppl with "pr0ship dni" in their bios n everything and its like....confusing? and just to be clear i do not have a playfellowxxx centered account, i do not post any content on it.

Plus like there's the problem of antis mistakenly/maybe intentionally following pr0shippers accounts to the point where its in big letters "Antis stop following this account" so obviously im not the only one whos confused. I don't see how like blatant antis and pr0shippers end up like constantly reblogging from one another unless one of a few things are happening:

Ppl are blatantly disregarding the dnis to reblog bc of serious issues (like the callout posts w/ evidence of minors being preyed upon) which I'm a little iffy about bc like thats still a persons dni??? (which this doesn't cover any of the other instances where its just reblogs of art from antis and pr0ships on the opposites accounts) (plus this would be the rarest of occurrence)

2. Either side sees the art, doesn't read the bios/disregards bio so theyre unknowingly following the other (which is still iffy, for that large percentage of them that put it in their bio n pinned posts, you think it wouldn't be difficult to like...just know right?)

3. There are so little antis in the fandom that they are communicating w/ pr0ship n either claiming to be neutral/pr0ship themselves bc they don't have any mutuals and want their art to be boosted in the algorithm (which i don't believe is the case)

4. Theyre all pr0ship and just put "pr0ship dni" in their username bc of not liking the fandoms equivalent of character x themselves, or other stuff/don't want hate on their twitter posts or dms (which i know isn't right either bc theyve activity said about going on blocking sprees/getting extremely upset seeing that mutuals ended up being pr0ship?)

I mean there could be other reasons I'm just not aware of what it might be. It's honestly been something thats been bugging me for a lil while but I've been unable to speak about it freely due to not really having anyone to discuss it with.

I really don't expect a response here bc ppl have "tl:dr" in my comments before on my old account when i talked about serious stuff, but if you want to throw me a reason, go for it.

again this is a serious post, I'm trying to be respectful despite this being a rather big issue for others in the fandom. /serious

#playfellowxxx #not nsft

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jinkicake · 2 years

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👀👀 I can def sneak you this Xiao x reader x zhongli fic that has been rent free in my head all month and albedo is so😭like calling him cute is not enough!! I need to suck his dick till he starts crying 😔 also same w sucrose too she’s literally so adorable and I need to kiss her cheeks like there is no other option. Almost every character in this game has a grip on me and I’m just living like this @ this point? Like I’ll see hot fanart if scaramouche and I’m like,,, maybe I can fix him… and I’m not regretting I choose aether bc he’s my boy and I will never turn my back on him! But abyss Prince aether,,,, like idk men who are evil and mean are hot and I’m not going to pretend they’re not!! Like something about him seducing lumine’s friend into helping him achieve his goal is💦 like also same w lumine like aether I’m sorry but I’m sleeping w your hot unhinged evil sister😔 and like zhongli in his morax era where he was some evil blood thirsty god who was just fucking people up( SHDJS IN INEOF THE ARTIFACT DESCRIPTIONS IT SSYS HE WAS THROWING MOUNTAINS @ VENTI LIKE DAMN THE ELDERLY ARE FIGHTING!!) And his statue is literally naked w like a sheet on it….. now not saying my theory about fucking his people are true buuuut🤔 like he knows a lot about the herbs hat grow in Liyue and tea n shit so he def knows what plants increase fertility. People weren’t sad that morax died bc he was their good they were sad bc they wouldn’t get to fuck that good again like yanfei is half adepti and we never even hear about her parents sooooo.👀 and her horn things kinda do look dragon like…. Anyway barbatos was doing the same bc IK he just takes his lil 590 year naps so people don’t recognize the bard around town isn’t aging but he definitely was doing stuff. Bc there are SO many NPC kids without parents are dead parents, like Venti sees a cute passerby and he’s like hmmm Lemme get my dick wet. Like when the milk lady suddenly pregnant w triplets… they don’t say it’s “ a blessing from barbatos for no reason”

PLEASE LEMME SEE i wanna read it,,, I have to!!!

OH, SCARA CANT BE FIXED! But, if you manage it then dont fix him too much bc I want him to stay crazy and psycho! That's my favorite type of character, let him be evil!!! My little puppet!!!!

NO, I LOVE ABYSS PRINCE AETHER!!! Don't get me wrong like I love an evil woman as much as the next but I am a Lumine traveler 4 ever!!!! Something about Aether as the prince is so..... so good!!!

I never heard about venti and zhonglis fights involving the mountain WTFFFFF DID THAT ACTUALLY HAPPEN?! PLEASEEEEE,, why are they so funny T T

Oh, yeah, I adore the statues in Liyue... it was the one I maxed up all the way first bc only the best for shirtless zhongli!

EEEK not the blessing from barbatos T T .... i can't get over how he's called barbatos bc every time i hear it i always picture obey me barbatos..... wow

#sarahandoikawatalkshit

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daedalusdavinci · 1 year

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hey. another character for t hat ask meme. do killer croc. waylon <3

send me a character and ill tell you…

What made me like them in the first place

ohh man. so in the late eighties (robin jay era) there was this one comic where waylon was living in the sewers w a group of homeless people, and he literally sacrificed his life to try and save them. i cant remember the comic very well at this point or the context around it all but i just remember how much he cared about them and how hard he tried to protect them and i just. sobs. ive loved him ever since

Who I ship them with

dcs not in the habit of giving waylon rlly good canon relationships that last more than like, one issue, afaik, so no one really

Random headcanon I have about them

nothing rlly that i can think of off the top of my head

My favorite moment of theirs

the aforementioned comic or the whole two seconds he existed in lonely city for before they KILLED HIM

Plotline/story I want to happen

dc should give up the stupid fucking cannibal thing and stick w protector of the homeless waylon. also i want him to have friends. please.

Any issues or insecurities I think they have

lol. lmao, even. i dont have to answer this its too easy

Favorite quote

dude that fucking panel where he tells a judge like "hey let me go" and the judge is like "ok" and he sits there like ._. wait

Kiss, marry, hug, or kill

hug

Random thing that reminds me of them

n/a

Any talents I think they might have

i dunnoooo im tireddd

On a rate from 1 to 10 how much I love them

8/10 i love him but not enough to go through all of his comics the way i do for others im obsessed with, and like, half the time hes in a story hes barely even treated like a person which is a bummer

What I think about their family

i dont even know if he has one in canon??? like i said i never went through all of his comics obsessively or anything so

Who I think should be their bff

idk abt bff but i did love he and selinas relatiosnhip in lonely city. im always crying about lonely city waylon

What animal they would be

...

Three songs that remind me of them

n/a

Favorite episode/issue/thing centered around them

umm see: favorite moment

How badly they need hugs

SO badly look at hiiiiiiiiim <3333333333333333

Favorite thing about their personality

the way he cares so much about the people no one else gives a shit about

Favorite thing about their appearance

he dresses like such a fucking dad. loser <3

Why I love them so much

hes just SOOOO <333333333 look i have the biggest spot for characters who are made to feel monstrous and wrong and go out of their way to defend other people that society discards. its the like. maybe theres something wrong w me but i wont let them convince you theres something wrong w you and the maybe im a monster but ill try to be a good monster even if no one sees it

#ashysiashy #asks

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todayisawthewhxlewxrld · 9 months

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RAYHSIIisushshjdiJWJWISIH MY SLEEP SCHEDULE IS SO MUCH BETTER NOW?!?! I'VE BEEN GOING TO BED AT AROUND 7 PM, AND WAKING UP A 6 AM?!?! LIKE EVEN ON THE WEEKENDS? BRO. BE PROUD OF ME PRAISE ME RN!!! BUT ANYWAYS, I'm feeling SO much better 😋 I think I might make that cheesecake thing I mentioned a few anon asks ago today, and probably clean up a bit. I admit I really let the place go for a sec, dishes have unfortunately piled up a bit 😔

ALSO HELLOOOOO??? MEGUMI AND Y/N?? BRO Y/N NEEDS TO STOP THINKING THAT MEGUMI IS ALWAYS AFTER HER!! 😭😭 POOKS LIKE I GET IT, BUT DAMN?? WTH HAPPENED FOR YOU TO HATE HIM SO MUCH, AND HAVE YOU BELIEVE THAT HE HATES YOU SO MUCH TO THE POINT WHERE HE WOULD WANT TO EMBARRASS YOU?? 💀 I'm SO invested. I woke up a few hours ago and saw that you had posted 2 yesterday, but I was like "its still late so I'm taking my happy ass back to bed, I'll read it when I wake up". It's the first thing I did when I arose from my slumber.

Also the boyfriend thing, he at least acts lovey sometimes, but yeah I get what you're saying 😔💔 I just really REALLY love him, and he'll express his love from time to time. I just don't know if he likes me or is just playing me, it'll be 4 months on the 11th, so I'm hoping that this is just one of those relationship phases and we'll work on it or something 😭 We've been okay for the most part tho, idk relationships are difficult sometimes, but I'm more than willing to go through more than difficult for him 😞 Bro has me folded like I've never been before? Help?

PLEASE THOUGH MY FRIEND AND TEACHERS DYNAMIC IS SO WEIRD?? SHE LITERALLY CALLS HIM A LITTLE GAY MAN 😭 HE LETS HER TOO? SHE EVEN INVITED ME INTO A GROUP OF PEOPLE WHO CALL HIM THAT? 💀 She sees him as an older brother, and I could see why, he lwk acts like this other dude I know 😔 I miss you W 💔 But anyways, it's just funny to see them go back and forth with eachother 💀

ANYWAYS. 💀💀 What's your favorite song? 🤔 Tbh I couldn't tell you mine, not that anything is wrong with it, I just FR can't decide what my favorite song is 😭 Having a hard time deciding my favorite color too 💀

ANYWAYS GONNA CLEAN (if I dont procrastinate) SO GOODBYE MY DEAREST AXEL

XOXO 👽

YAYAYYAYA SO PROUD OF U BAEEE!!! SO GLAD UR SLEEPPING SCHEDULE IS GOING GOOD! I HOPE CLEANING GOES WELL N UR CHEESE CAKE COMES OUT YUMMY 😎😎😎

NAH FR LIKE HAS YN EVER THOUGH MAYBE HE ISNT DETERMINED TO MAKE THEIR LIFE A LIVING HELL LIKE THEY THINK HE IS?? 😭😭

bae… idk… i’m still team break up with him even after reading that… cause i feel like it’s usually the opposite four months in where they were rlly sweet before and NOW they’re showing their true colors but also fuck do i know i’m not in ur relationship so take what i say with a grain of salt if u want… DO WHAT U THINK IS BEST ILY !

HELPPP NOT A LITTLE GAY MAN LFMOAOA THATS SO SILLY

ermmmm …. yeah i cant decide either… i love so many songs and i feel like i’m betraying them if i only pick one of them😭😭😭😭

#axel answers ☆⋆｡𖦹°‧★#axel answers// 👽

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angabby-zzz · 9 months

Text

It feels like gabbys in like a constant cycle of having smth tragic happen 2 her and then after days of being upset over it she decides to change and try to deal w the problem by just making friends (as in thats just how she met angel and kathee)

Anyway thinking maybe after her kinda processing the fact that the gods r real and her dad is one of them angel is like idk man maybe we should start tryna talk to people here and shes like hm ok. And she finds out theres a volleyball court there and shes like this looks ok and tries 2 join in and thats when she meets kathee cuz its like. Obv ppl know theres a dionysus kid now for the first time in a bit and she hadnt come out to do anything until now and its also kathees first summer there so shes like yk what idk whats so special abt this girl but shes cool im gonna b her friend 👍 and so they become friends

Since shes a cabin counselor (shes literally the only one in her cabin she doesnt have a choice) i think the other counselors there would help out w her getting used 2 camp n what 2 do so shes like 👍 Ok i have new ppl who r nice 2 me here thats cool

💀Until the ares cabin does their toilet initiation thing and shes like dude wtf????? what is ur problem and they start fighting and like one of her counselor friends (i have yet 2 decide who) is like ok guys chill tf out leave her alone ummm and they go the showers for gabby 2 clean herself and shes like man ig i gotta watch out 4 some ppl here but at least i have nice guys w me so hopefully itll b cool

After that she gets more like used 2 how camp is n stuff but doesnt rlly start talking 2 dionysus properly til like near the end of the summer and then her 2nd summer she starts being more like in2 being w him n stuff. Abt her mom i think maybe she was iris messaged by like . Shit idk maybe even dionysus . or maybe angel once he found out that was a thing and decided to tell her abt it after he called his mom (side note i think itd be silly cute awesome if dionysus kinda pulled him aside and was like hey u gotta help her get like better n stuff i get it if she doesnt talk 2 me n stuff but i dont want her 2 b mega depressed every day now and angels like oh um ok sir [fearing 4 his life] so then after that angel kinda like helps her out w stuff how he can [like suggesting places / ppl to hang out w since hes like glued 2 serenitys side and shes also sporty cool like gabby is])

Thinking maybe she n angel have like a mini like conflict or wtva about him feeling left out n stuff cuz she spends a lot of her time doing sportsy training stuff or being w her other friends and he was used 2 them being each others like main guy they hang out w but its like. Not spoken about much cuz he doesnt wanna sound mega dependent on her n stuff and obv shes her own person she can do what she wants. Tbh this is still a point in the current story cuz i literally have a bit where he hangs out w milan for a bit in sadness cuz shes busy doing magic stuff w nishith and itzel? Also i dont mean that gabby got sick of him or wtva dont get the wrong idea she still has him as The #1 Guy ever shes just busy w other stuff a lot to keep her from thinking 2 much abt like . Life (girl cannot b alone w her thoughts)

I didnt proofread any of this i hope i didnt contradict myself much or anything. Btw this isnt all in order of what happened i didnt mean 4 this 2 become a long post i just started talking 💀

#text pose #thinking i make a tag 4 these kind of posts instead of just liking them #cuz i forget everything man 💀#ok new tag —>#oc lore #i have no better ideas sorry

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thursdayg1rl · 2 years

Text

nearly fainted today..

#literally dont know whats wrong w me at this point n dont want to go to the doctors again. tbh #maybe I just didnt drink enough water that s possible tbh #also only had a yoghurt the whole day so probably that

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yourmcu · 4 years

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Forgotten (CONTINUED VERSION)

Pairings: Tony Stark x daughter!reader, Peter Parker x Stark!reader (platonic)

Request:

Hello i love your story could you do angsty tony x daughter reader. Wherein the reader has a twin brother and Tony and the avengers prefer the twin brother and becaus of that, the reader became rebel and badass. She always getting trouble and almost drop out student. The avengers and her father were seem disappointed and dont know what to do. Not until the reader involve into car accident and she's critical injured. The reader also slipped to coma. Everyone is devastated about the reader conditione. And they realized that the reader only rebel because she wants to get attention from them. It depends to you what the end come, I just want a full angst this week and I hope you dont mind my English. Anyway I hope your alright.

A/n: y’all wanted it, I finished it :)

Word count: 3,984

(more notes at the end!)

Warnings: angst, hurt/comfort? bad writing of an anxiety attack, accident, knife, hospitals

read it on ao3!

gif not mine! credits to the owner^^

Being a genius/billionaire/superhero’s kid doesn’t always sound nice like it usually does.

You were one of the Stark twins, the other half being your brother, Ethan.

The both of you showed signs that you inherited the commonly known Stark trait (intelligence) at a young age. But Tony mostly focused on his son, showing him all his inventions and gadgets, teaching him everything he knew while you on the other hand, were being babysat by Happy or Pepper, sometimes Rhodey.

You tried so hard to get your father’s attention but he always had his excuses:

“I don’t have time for that.”

“I’m busy with Ethan right now.”

“Maybe later.”

At first you didn’t mind if your brother got all the praise and attention. It wasn’t until your mid-teens that you really started to feel left out and ignored.

You were left to frown when the other Avengers never found anything interesting about you, just like Tony did. They all liked Ethan better. The topic of him being the next Iron Man when Tony retires is getting exhausting.

There was this one time when Tony announced that they were all going out to dinner since Ethan got, yet again, a full set of A’s on his report card.

“Did you get my card?” You tapped on Tony’s shoulder lightly.

He gave you a side glance, “ah shoot, I forgot. I’ll go get it tomorrow.” Then returned his attention to your brother.

But he ended up forgetting again the next day and you had to convince your teacher to give it to you instead. Your marks had A’s, but littered with B’s as well, of course that was no match for your brother’s perfect marks.

And that sort of scenario wasn’t just a one time thing, Tony forgets to pick up your report card every. single. time. The messed up part was you and Ethan literally attended the same school, he was just in a more advanced class than you.

As time passed, Tony went from ignoring you to getting annoyed and pissed at you for everything you did. In his eyes, you were always in the wrong. And the reason? You didn’t know.

“Dad? Can I borrow Bruce for a minute?” You knocked on the glass door of his lab to get him to look up.

He didn’t, but responded, “kinda busy with him right now.”

You looked at your fractured arm, regretting your decisions. “W-well, Ethan was training with Nat, and... and he wanted to try the new moves he learned on me. He went a little hard and - I think my arm’s broken, I just wanted Bruce to check it out-”

“Goddammit!” He shouted after you heard a glass shatter. Bruce covered his face with palms, muttering an ‘oh no’.

Tony glared at you, striding to where you were standing. All that was left for you to do was to brace yourself for what was about to come. “See, this is why we never let you do anything with the team,” he spat. “That right there?”-he pointed to your arm-“that’s on you. Things go wrong because you’re in the way!”

“I’m... I’m sorry-”

“Just get out of here.”

Your arm remained untreated after that.

Then Peter Parker came into the picture. Friendly guy, he was actually nice to you. Him and Ethan got along right away when Tony first recruited him. The fact that he treated Peter better than you made you even more miserable. It made you think he never wanted a daughter in the first place.

You first met Peter when he accidentally entered your room without warning, thinking it was the bathroom. Cliche, but that’s what happened.

“It’s on the first door to your other left,” you stated.

“Yeah, yeah okay, thanks,” he turned around to leave but stopped to look at you again. “I’m Peter Parker, by the way.”

“Y/N Stark.”

Peter’s eyes lit up at your last name. “I... I didn’t know Mr. Stark had a daughter - no offense! It’s just-”

You sighed and waved him off. He didn’t even notice the similarities you had with your twin. “It’s fine. I get that a lot.”

After many events of being, to be blunt, treated like shit, you finally had enough. You neglected your studies, only went to school when you felt like it (which was rare). No one cared your grades anyway, so what’s the point? You became a whole new person, you surrounded yourself with the wrong sort of people, causing you to dabble into smoking and alcohol.

Since you were always in trouble, you could recite Cap’s detention speech at school by heart now.

The principal of your school wanted to see Tony to talk about your behavior. Normally he’d make an excuse not to go if it wasn’t that important but he got flooded with messages from the school, so he couldn’t say no.

You had your legs crossed, sitting across from Tony who had his eyebrows furrowed as he listened to the principal. For some reason you didn’t feel nervous. “Y/N barely attends her classes. I’ve seen every attendance. Are you aware of this, Mr. Stark?”

Tony only maintained his usual relaxed posture and avoided your gaze.

“Some students have also seen her smoke in school grounds. We gave her a few weeks suspension for it, but it doesn’t look like she’s learned her lesson.” They pulled out a couple boxes of cigarettes from the desk drawer. “We found these in her locker.”

“You went into my locker?” You shot up from your seat. “You can’t just do that!”

Tony cleared his throat and got up, gripping your wrist. “I’ll take it from here - will that be all?”

On the way out he doesn’t say a word to you, only that his grip on your wrist got tight as you near the car.

“So,” he started the car. His voice was calm, but it screamed that you were in deep trouble. “What do you have to say for yourself?”

You sighed and slouched in the passenger’s seat, crossing your arms. “I’m... sorry you had to know...?”

“Yeah, I’m just gonna be honest with you here,” Tony still doesn’t look at you. “When I found out I had two kids, I got worried about Ethan.”

You let out a snort. Of course he would.

“I didn’t want him ending up like me. But surprise surprise, my daughter did instead.”

“I’m not ‘ending up’ like you, Dad-”

“Then what do you call - this,” he referred to you. “What, you’re just gonna waste your life, drop out of school? You’re a fucking mess, Y/N, and here I thought I raised you right. Sometimes I think: why can’t you just be like your brother?” He had a hard grip on the steering wheel as he drove, the way he spoke affected the speed of the car greatly.

You opened your mouth to speak but you couldn’t fine the exact words you wanted to say. “I... well, I’m sorry I’m not a goody two shoes like him!”

“That’s not what I-”

“Please, that’s exactly what you meant.”

He scoffed, shaking his head. “Look, I’m grounding you until you pull yourself together, understand?” And he did. He gave new orders to Friday when the both of you got home. You weren’t allowed to leave the compound without Tony’s permission.

Were you giving up that easily? Of course not.

You were on your laptop for the rest of the day, hacking into Friday’s system, the security to the elevator and the entrance. That night, your executed your plan and everything went smoothly.

“This is why you never underestimate me,” you sighed, deactivating the hack once you were out of the building.

Your friend who was picking you up was already waiting a few blocks away from the compound. “I hope you’re cool with me staying over for a couple days.”

“If a bunch of Avengers come and destroy my place to look for you, I’m not going to be friends with you anymore.”

You laughed at out, “oh trust me, they don’t care.”

----

The next day no one noticed your absence, nobody did for another two days. Tony just assumed you were mad about your punishment, so he didn’t think of it much.

Not until Peter came to the compound on the third day, wanting to hang out with you.

“Whatcha got there, Pete?” Ethan asked.

“Star Wars movies. I wanna watch them with Y/N - she could use some company, don’t you think?”

The older Stark twin shrugged, “yeah, I guess she could.”

Peter then headed to the elevator and stopped at the floor where your room was. He knocked on your door and waited a bit, after a few minutes of silence he knocked again, still nothing.

“Y/N? Is it okay if I come in?” He called out. No response. He hesitated a bit, for all he knew you were probably changing or something, or you could be in danger. He went to open the door anyway. “I’m coming in, I’ll close my eyes just to be-”

To Peter’s surprise, your room was empty.

----

You were at a 711 parking lot, waiting for your friends who were buying supplies for a house party. You gave them your wallet, not really caring about anything anymore. Your phone was starting to pile up with messages and missed calls from Tony, Edward and Peter, occasionally from the others as you scrolled pass more.

Without thinking you threw your phone to the ground, cracking the screen, breaking it completely. They’d be able to track you through it now that they know you ran away. You really had no intention of coming back. You weren’t wanted, what’s the point of going back?It’s early but you’ve had a few drinks already. You weren’t sure if breaking your phone was a good idea but there’s one thing you’re sure: you didn’t care anymore.

You didn’t have to turn your head to see who just arrived and ambushed your friends inside the store. They ran out and left you behind. The sound of webs coming out of his shooters was enough for you to tell.

“You shouldn’t be here, Peter,” you sighed defeatedly.

Peter gently took a seat next to you, not removing his mask since you were in public and handed your wallet back. “I don’t understand why you left.”

He took in your awful state. His suit scanned how intoxicated you were, estimated how many cigarette packets you’ve had. His frown deepened at the information.

“I care about you. We all do. Mr. Stark’s not going to stop the search party until you come home.”

You rolled your eyes at the term. “Stupid search party – pathetic – I’m not coming home anymore, Pete-” you slurred and tried to get up but stumbled back, almost twisting your ankle but fell to Peter’s side. “Ow.”

He sighed, struggling to get ahold of you since you always pulled away.

“Stop being so stubborn, okay?”

“If you don’t like my stubborn fucking ass then maybe you should just leave,” you stated. “I’m not wanted there. I got the message. I didn’t run away just to be fucking found.”

Peter stared at you for a moment. He didn’t know why you got grounded in the first place, how you got here and why you didn’t want to go back home. There was something off in the father-daughter relationship, he knew that, but it was news to him that it was that bad. That bad for you to waste your life, to run away. He always thought Mr. Stark was an awesome parent, the way he was treating Ethan, and him…

“It’s unfair,” you ranted. “God, if you only knew how pathetic I feel whenever he tells me off. I’m always annoying to him - not just to him, to the whole team, I’m always wrong in everything I do and it’s honestly tiring? What the fuck do I have to do just to feel loved and wanted?”

You went on rambling while Peter tried to comfort and deny every negative thing that came out of your mouth. He didn’t believe any of it, but the way everyone’s been treating you. He hated that he didn’t notice sooner. He could’ve defended you.

“I have nothing against you, I really don’t,” you sighed. “But you should be grateful they’re treating you perfectly.” You got up and strode to the opposite direction, mentally cursing because your friends ditched you and you has nowhere to go, phone destroyed and everything.

But you were staying true to your word: you didn’t have any plans to go back to the compound. You were going to figure your life out on your own.

“Y/N, I… I’m not leaving you alone out here!”

You were so fed up of the spider-ling. How good he was, how perfect, how Tony clearly wanted him more than you, how he always wanted to do the right thing, because none of you expected what happened next when he went to grab your shoulder. The action was so sudden that it Peter didn’t have time to avoid it.

Knife, shoulder, really deep.

Maybe it was just how wasted you were, because he knew you would never do anything like that.

“You’re really annoying, Parker,” you muttered, not wasting any more time watching him stumble out of shock and pain, sprinting across the streets.

With his uninjured arm, he shot webs while trying to pull the knife (the blade wasn’t even visible anymore on how deep it was) out of his shoulder. There was a loud bang, and Peter never sprinted so fast in his life, not caring less about the pain and blood, because what mattered most was your safety. When he got there, you were far from safe.

-----

A week went by. And during those seven days Tony was on edge, I mean, how can be calm at a time like that?

Peter managed to show up at the compound the same night, breathless and shaky. His state made everyone worried but he wasted no time telling Tony what happened. He got you to the hospital, making sure you were being sorted out right before leaving to break the news.

Tony didn’t think twice and went to the hospital where you were admitted, not listening to Peter’s apologies and leaving Steve to sort everyone out on what they should do.

They didn’t expect you to show signs of waking up after only a week since the accident got you mangled up, it was mostly a blow to the head and as expected, you slipped into a coma.

Right, what happened: an awful timing really, not sure if Peter’s the one to blame but he accidentally stuck you to the ground with his webs, and it just so happened a car was driving at a fast speed – there you go.

Tony made sure you got the best treatment possible. He even went and asked Strange if he could do all the surgeries needed, but he declined, claiming he couldn’t anymore despite the sympathy he felt inside. Instead he asked the best doctors he knew, but still helped out sometimes in any way he could.

You took a breath, trying to open your eyes but the blinding lights of your room and them almost feeling as if they were glued shut from not being open for so long prevented you. You also tried moving your hands, only to feel a warm one rest on top of it, you finally opened your eyes.

“You’re awake,” Tony mumbled, rubbing a thumb on the back of your palm soothingly. “You’re awake and you’re okay.”

“Mr. Stark?” Peter called out, spotting his mentor sitting outside the room where they were doing the final surgery on you. It was his first time visiting, seeing as the knife wound was worse than he thought. “I’m so sorry, I-“

“What happened?” Was the only thing Tony said, not looking up to look at the kid. Peter stood there for a moment but told him everything that happened.

After that and after he made sure you were okay, resting in your room and everything, he let Natasha look after you for the night and headed back to the compound.

The kid would never lie to him but he had to see it all for himself. The Spider-Man suit caught everything through the baby monitor protocol. From when he arrived to the convenient store, when you told him countless of times that you weren’t coming back, and when your drunk self ranted about what you felt.

“What the fuck do I have to do just to feel loved and wanted?”

“He seemed to like both of us equally when we were younger,” you sniffled. “Of course he would, but… my brother just turned out to be special and talented and,” you frowned, “he’s all Tony ever wanted for a kid. Maybe I reminded him of the chick he fucked, I don’t know – must be it, right?”

“Y/N, you’re just as special as-” Peter tried to reason but you threw him a glare. Tony could see the pain and heartbreak in your bloodshot, tired eyes. One that said you didn’t want to hear anything like it anymore. You didn’t want to believe it.

“The thing is, they only want you when you’re gone. Missing. Dead,” you shrugged. “I can take a hint, you know? My only family hates me. My only family doesn’t want me. Now you – all of them – are looking for me… why?” Peter flinched at the loudness of your voice. You truly were broken.

Tony fast forwarded, it didn’t clearly show how you got hit, but he had enough anyway. He wanted to make things right with you. He could only hope that you make pass this, hoping that you’ll let him make it up to you.

“It’s not too late, you know,” Steve said from the entrance to his lab. “Y/N is strong. She’ll make it.”

“Why am I not dead?” You croaked, looking at your father with an anxious expression. You letting out another shaky breath as you struggled to move and look around. “I should be dead. Why am I here-”

“Take it easy-”

“Don’t you understand?” You felt your throat aching, breath quickening. “I don’t want to be here!”

“No, you’re okay. Y/N you’re okay,” Tony tried to calm you down when he saw the lines in your heart monitor go up and down in rapid pace.

“I’m not - no I’m not - not okay,” you struggled to let out. It felt like you were choking on your own breath, getting harder and harder to breathe by the minute, soon tears started to prick your eyes. “I don’t want to be here!”

“Tony, what's going on?” Steve bursted into the room with an alarmed but calm expression.

“Call Strange. Anyone.” He told the captain but his eyes never left you. He rubbed a part of your arm that wasn’t injured soothingly in attempt to calm you down. “Just breathe for me, okay? I’m here and you’re okay.”

Something about the softness and encouraging look in his eyes made you nod eventually and follow his breathing patterns. He held a glass of water for you to drink, holding your struggling hand softly to get it out of the way.

He’s never looked at you like that before.

Most of the time he ignored you, most of the time he looked at you at anger or annoyance when you’ve fucked something up.

“There we go, we okay now?” You looked away and nodded lightly. That was enough for him. Tony wanted to let you know how sorry he was so bad, but thought against it, at least for now. He was scared you might start freaking out again.

Stephen entered the room with the doctor, the other Avengers following closely behind. The amount of people in the room overwhelmed you a bit, but you were strangely calm because of how your father’s acting. Soft and caring, it made you feel safe.

Both doctors concluded that you had some sort of amnesia. In English, your past memories were blotchy, all of them even from your childhood. Again because of the blow to the head it was already expected. But you remembered the recent ones clearly, which was the reason why you avoided looking at Peter and his patched up arm.

Which also meant it was possible you didn’t remember all of the pain you felt concerning your family. It was unfair on your part.

Strange insisted that you stay a few more days, or one more week, just to run tests and make sure you get enough medicine and stuff.

They decided to see how bad your memory loss was.

“I did that to you,” you still refused to look at Peter completely. “I’m sorry, Peter.”

“I’m just glad you’re okay.” Peter gave you a smile.

You moved to the next person. Red hair, seemed to give off a friendly but civil nature. “Natasha? You’re Natasha.”

The Russian merely smiled and crossed her arms.

“Steve,” you stated, moving to the next person. “You always read old books in the kitchen.”

Steve chuckled, nodding to confirm.

“Ethan,” you smiled as you looked at your twin. He gave you a small wave even if he felt as guilty as Tony about everything even if he wasn’t the one to blame.

You stared longer at the next person, almost shoulder length dark brown hair, he’s wearing a jacket to cover his metal arm but you knew it was still there.

“Ducky?”

Peter let out a giggle, so did you brother.

“It’s Bucky, doll,” Bucky smiled, covering his face with his hand to suppress a chuckle as the rest laughed.

“Oh, right, I’m sorry,” you let out a weak giggle yourself.

You meet Tony’s eyes again, the softness still there.

“Dad,” you stated. “You’re my dad. Tony.”

No, you didn’t completely forget how he treated you. You knew he was annoyed with you, which lead you to think that you did something that made him act that way. “Am I bad?”

Tony’s hopeful expression dimmed. “What do you mean, sweetheart?”

You shrugged. “You’re mad at me, I just… I guess it’s just not clear on why.”

Steve thought it would be best for everyone to head out for a bit so he ushered everyone out of the room except for your brother who took a seat at the corner.

“About that, it’s about time we talked, yeah?” Tony sat on a chair backwards beside your bed. It made you nervous, but you were reassured. “You’re not in trouble, don’t worry.”

He exhaled, resting an arm on the top rail. “You deserve so much better. I should’ve treated you better,” you opened your mouth to ask but he continued. “Look, I haven’t been fair with you and it’s a problem. You’re smart, talented and beautiful. I figured you needed to hear it more often because it’s true. What I’m trying to say is, I’m sorry. I really am.”

Your bottom lip involuntarily trembled. “You – you really mean that?”

“From the bottom of my heart.”

You sighed, a genuine smile plastered on your face. “Thank you. And I’m sorry if I was a pain in the ass-“

“You never were,” Tony shook his head. “You always did your best and I really should have acknowledged it more. Give me a second chance?”

“Of course.”

Tony smiled, getting up and planting a gentle kiss to your forehead.

Everything in life was so much better after all that. Tony treated you and Ethan equally, same goes for Peter. The other Avengers were nicer, not the kind of nice that was almost fake, but it was genuine. All of them were. And you were thankful.

----

TAGLIST: @contanto-que-voce-me-queira @angeldreineedshelp @legendarymcnuggies @zoeyserpentluck @vienmiaprendere @alainabooks143 @hessogxlden

DID ANYONE MISS ME? BC I MISSED THIS PLACE

I highly doubt anyone’s still waiting for this, it was an unplanned hiatus I’M SO SORRY but I decided to post anyway :))

also I hope this wasn’t underwhelming, that’s one of the reasons why I was hesitant to do this but I hope its good heh (I’ve included the parts from my first post as well, just so it feels like a full fic)

WAIT I ALSO HIT 300 FOLLOWERS? INSANE. THANK YOU. I MEAN IT.

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