#literally who the fuck cares if you call someone an egg

[possibly-pasta]

hey, so im not suuuuper tapped into the discourse, but hi hello transfemmes and trans women, if someone had genuinely spotted how much of a fucking Egg i was in even middle school, and Pointed It Out, i feel like i would have had an easier time finding my identity.

i’m not transfemme, but i just wanna show my support in this weird moment of discourse

[gremlingottoosilly]

Eldritch Horror! Konig with a Witch! Reader who accidentally summoned him and now has no idea how to get rid of the large shadow monster desperate to mate.

You needed a familiar. A bat, or, maybe, a cute black cat that would drag your ingredients from the top shelve and deliver mail. You needed some company, something cute and weak - and you prepared for the ritual, cut a bit of your arm to get the blood out, put some of the tea leaves in the cauldron, waiting for the creature summoned. The book you used for the incantation was just a tad bit weird and old, but almost all witch books are - it's not like you have a lot of options here, unfortunately.

The cauldron went into smoke, then - into boiling. You thought it was a good sign, the magic slowly activating as your powers drained to call for someone cute, someone magical and obedient, someone... There is a tentacle poking out of the cauldron. An octopus familiar, huh...you weren't too disappointed, but it wasn't ideal, either. Maybe if could turn the tentacles in a pretty pink color, or if you could exchange it for something fluffy and adorable or- It's a man. Well, sort off. It's a man, and it sets off your alarms - literally and figuratively. Human-like familiars are almost all demons, and demons as familiar is bad news. You aren't even remotely strong enough to contain someone as strong as him, and with the energy that envelops him as he slowly moves out o the cauldron, too small for his tall, muscular and dangerously beautiful body, you know you're fucked. It's safe to say that you're familiar now. With Konig not being bond by a summoning ritual - he is far too strong for that - you think that the only reason he didn't kill you, a dumb and arrogant witch trying to contain him - is only because he latched on you as his personal breeder. He mated you, the first thing he did after pushing you onto your bed and taking you raw, like the helpless thing you are, and then softly spoke some words in a dead, eldritch language that you don't understand. Then he mated you again and again until you felt nothing but throbbing between your legs and pumps of pleasure as the eggs slowly filled your womb. He brought you some food after - you think it's his way of caring for his mate. He also called you a dumb, arrogant and weak thing, and then something in his language again, that was probably yet another insult.

[onesidedradiostatic]

Listening to Stayed Gone again (it's a tie between my favorite song from the show and Loser Baby) And the more I listened to it, the more I realize that Vox specifically started to "welcome" Alastor back to Hell. Like this song isn't just him poking fun at Alastor, it's a song literally welcoming him back like he's someone he missed a LOT over the past seven years. Fuck, Vox knew exactly how long Alastor was gone. Like I bet when things were getting dull in Vox's life he thought back to how entertaining Alastor was, regardless of their relationship and if it was friendly or not.

Vox probably even secretly hoped Alastor would pop into the song, just so he can get some of Alastor's attention with him back to being active in Hell

oh no vox definitely has the exact fucking date alastor disappeared DOWN. he's literally the only person who could tell you exactly how long alastor was gone for. even zestial, the only other person who showed any care about alastor's disappearance could not give an exact number...

Zestial: It has been an age since thou hath graced us thy presence. Some hath spun wild tales of you falling to... holy arms.

— Episode 3, Scrambled Eggs

...even HUSK didn't give an exact number...

Alastor: it's nothing I can't handle. Don't worry Husker. Who in their right mind would cross me? Husk: I mean, you've been gone a while, and it's not like anybody knows why.

— Episode 5, Dad Beat Dad

...and everyone else just didn't care.

Carmilla Carmine: Alastor? Alastor: Yes, I know I've been absent some time. I'm sure you've all been wondering! Carmilla Carmine: ...Not really. But welcome back in any case.

— Episode 3, Scrambled Eggs

Lucifer: Who is this? Who is this man? Are you the bellhop? Alastor: Aha! No! I am the host of the hotel. You might have heard of me from my radio broadcasts. Lucifer: Hmm, nope! I guess that's why Charlie called it the Has-been Hotel, ahaha.

— Episode 5, Dad Beat Dad

yet somehow vox manages to be the only person who can tell you ah yes he has been gone for exactly SEVEN YEARS btw have I forgotten to mention it's been SEVEN YEARS yeah what's with his SEVEN YEAR absence (idc btw really I don't I really don't give a fuck I promise)

[qu1cks1lversb1tch]

What they're like when you're sick

Includes: Alastor, Angel Dust, Charlie, Husk, Lucifer, Sir Pentious, Vaggie, Valentino, Velvette, and Vox

Warnings: None

Word Count: 858

Alastor

He's indifferent and often times cruel, but if he cares about you, he's a real sweetie.

He'd bring you your favorite warm beverage.

He would cook something for you; probably something his mom made him when he was feeling under the weather as a child.

He'd check in to make sure you're resting. (You better be, or else.)

His shadow would keep you company, mostly keeping an eye on you while he's doing a broadcast.

He'd secretly be worried out of his mind, but he's to prideful to admit how much your wellbeing means to him.

Angel Dust

He's concerned as fuck; going as far as blowing off Val just to make sure you're okay.

Checks in every few hours with a new joke, just to see if you're well enough to react.

Let's you cuddle with Fat Nuggets while you sleep.

Have you eaten? Are you hungry at all? He'd grab you something quick from the kitchen, just say the word.

Watches movies with you until you pass out from exhaustion.

Practically shoves water and vitamins at you like he's a concerned mother.

Charlie

Nothing to her is more important than you getting better. Sorry world, that's just how it is.

She's practically perched at your bedside with vitamins, water, a fresh box of tissues, and a trash can.

Makes sure you eat at least one meal.

Let's you rest, but keeps close in case you need her.

Will do anything to make sure you're comfortable while your body works through the Hellish virus.

Keeps everyone else from bothering you.

Husk

He's worried about your wellbeing, but also knows you're not gonna drop dead on a whim.

Leaves crackers and medicine on your bedside table for whenever you wake up.

He conveniently only checks in when you're resting, just to make sure you're taking the recovery seriously.

Will make sure everyone knows that you're resting so that they'll try their hardest to not bother you.

Straight up goes 'dad mode' (as Angel calls it) if anyone makes a particularly loud noise that echoes off of the walls.

Sends you back to bed if you try to join everyone else. You need to rest.

Lucifer

Panics like he did whenever Charlie got sick.

Makes at least a dozen little ducks that resemble your personality so that you have his presence even when he's not in the room with you.

Brings you soup and your favorite hot beverage.

Warm compresses, warm blankets, cool room.

Gets absolutely anything you want.

Checks in on you religiously, but quietly so that he doesn't wake you.

Sir Pentious

He's literally probably the sweetest.

Will run to the store if you need something specific, no questions asked — would even leave the Egg Bois with you so you're not alone.

Has the basic necessities on hand.

Would fluff your pillows when you sat up to drink water.

Hungry? He's sending the Egg Bois downstairs to grab you something that you can eat.

He'd stay in the room and do his own thing, just to be close.

Vaggie

Is mad that you got sick, but is worried.

Would bring you your favorite sick soup if you said you were hungry. It's salty, but just what your body needs.

Death glares anyone who comes down the hallway too loud.

She would be distant, but still close by.

She's making sure your room's environment will help you get better. (Ex: cool air, warm blankets, closed curtains, etc.)

Will scold you if you get out of bed for anything other than the bathroom.

Valentino

He literally doesn't even notice at first, but once he does notice, he's sending someone to your room with your favorite hot beverage and antibiotics.

If anyone goes near your room that isn't him or the demon he's sending while he works, they're probably getting torn apart.

Every few hours, you'd wake up to find stuff on your bedside table that hadn't been there. Little trinkets, notes, and candies.

Threatens anyone who gets too loud.

At your bedside at the end of the day, making sure you drank something and at the very least took your vitamins.

Pushes you to eat something, while simultaneously leaving you alone to rest.

Velvette

You're sick!? This show is on hold until her favorite person is all better.

Refuses to go in the room without Hell's equivalent of Lysol on hand.

She comes bearing food and little trinkets to keep you occupied in your moments of boredom when you're not resting.

Will kill anyone who tries to bother you for some inane bullshit, best model or not.

Texts you periodically to make sure you're alive.

Will do research to help you the best she can.

Vox

He's watching you through the cameras and checking your vitals during his free time.

Let's you watch cartoons on his screen until you fall asleep in the late evening.

Is there with water the moment you go into a coughing fit.

Will ask around trying to figure out what to do for sick demons.

He brings you your favorite food and a weird looking stuffed animal that Velvette helped him pick out.

Works less to spend more time with you while you're recovering.

A/N: I guess these are my thing now 💅 if you want, you can join my discord here. It's absolutely no pressure if you don't want to, but if you wanna make some pretty cool friends, join in! The vibes are good like 90% of the time. If you're 18+, just make sure to let me know in the introductions chat :)

As always, my requests are open! I have 3 anon requests sitting there that I'll get to eventually — I swear I will lmao. I hope everyone enjoyed this! I love the support thst I got on the best friend's hc's <3 I appreciate all of you

[starberry-cupcake]

After a weekend that exhausted me, I am finally able to come back to this book. My reacts proved useful to remind me where I left of, who would have thought.

previously, on harrowberry the ninth:

this happened

also, harrowberry is courtesy of @lady-harrowhark

after which I suggested the following album cover as a representation of her

currently, chapters 14-16:

"The Mithraeum, the seat of the First Reborn! The Sanctuary of the Emperor of the Nine Houses, the bolthole of God"

I don't want to sound like gideon

I really don't

but I have to be entirely honest here

I read that sentence twice, at separate times

and neither of those times did I read "bolthole"

MOVING ON

harrowberry is settled in a room which was made for a lyctor that never was

I don't know if this is at all important but it caught my eye

I wonder what happened there

and I am, as we have established, fixating on very particular things

the emperor johnny bravo has a room that's described as a locked tomb, but harrow says that, unlike the other locked tomb, she's not interested to see what's in this one

on the one hand, I want to know what this guy's actually doing but, on the other, I don't care about what's going on in his intimacy

harrow is also surprised that he gets embarrassed

which I don't, because he should be embarrassed and ashamed about all of the stuff that is going on in general

I don't know specifics and I don't know details, but I know he's at fault

like we say over here, I've got no evidence but I've got no doubt

he tells harrowbean about the BOE

he says they hate the nine houses and that they have agents who turn planets against them

they got themselves a leader about 25 years before harrow was born, who made things more difficult for johnny man

let's bring back the timeline I'm constantly discarding and bringing back

we've been told now that: this leader showed up 25 years before harrow was born, they disappeared nearly 20 years ago and gideon was born 18 years ago in space to a mom who was brain dead upon arriving at ninth

there's also the whole eggs thing that idk if it has something to do with this or not but we're not totally throwing anything away here

we've moved from a cork board to a 3d model at this point

emperor johnny boo is blaming these people for not!dulcinea going ballistic

idk johnny man, you kind of fucked that up on your own I think, but go off, I guess

he also says that the BOE folks hate necromancers and necromancy

I don't wanna be making assumptions with little to no info (literally all I've been doing) but all I've seen so far is these people teaching harrow to kill planets

that's not what miss frizzle told me I should be doing when she wore the most iconic looks in television history

maybe if the emperor dressed like this I'd be trusting him more

emperor johnny also clocked harrow being a ninth kid smoothie

because harrow was doing theorems in the river and only one other person ever did that before

the person who founded the sixth

we're ok with the sixth because camilla came from there

when harrow starts telling him the smoothie story, the emperor says "This was...all so different...before we discovered the scientific principles" and proceeds to tell her that her parents basically did a mini resurrection

he says "I have committed the same act, and I know the price I had to pay" and calls her "a walking miracle"

to which harrow responds "I have just told you that I am the product of my parents' genocide"

emperor, my man

he says "nobody has to know" about the kid smoothie

there sure are a lot of things people aren't supposed to know or ask about over here in the emperor's bolthole

*me, high fiving gideon's force ghost*

he says the initials of BOE mean "blood of eden" and that Eden is "someone they left to die"

then he quotes shakespeare??? I think king lear???

“How sharper than a serpent's tooth it is To have a thankless child”, that quote

I'm not super knowledgeable when it comes to shakespeare tbh but...ominous

he also says "once you turn your back on something, you have no more right to act as though you own it"

and harrow thinks "at the time, that had made perfect sense to you"

that's pinned under the "hope for later" category

NEXT CHAPTER

harrow talks to ice cube barbie in her dreams

ice cube barbie says she's died twice

THEN, AND THIS IS VERY IMPORTANT

harrow asks her if she has ortus's eyes or if her eyes are hers and what her eyes are like

and ice cube barbie says "she asked me not to tell you"

this is me, adding another thing to the "hopeful hints for gideon" shrine I am building

chapter 16

harrow asks yandere twin about her diary and she says it has been burned on her own orders

more hints for my theory of past!harrow knowing a lot and planning ahead

harrowcita calls lyctortus (name suggested by the reply gang, thank you reply gang) "the other one"

which could be "other" as in "other lyctor" or as in "other ortus", so it's fine either way

harrow is worried about not!dulcinea still being a threat

AREN'T WE ALL

AREN'T WE ALL

I SURE AM, ALWAYS

she should have been flushed into space

harrow thinks not!dulcinea is moving and yandere twin calls her "crazycakes"

then we start going a bit more in depth about augustine

I have come to understand that he isn't called "saint of patience" because he's patient

he's called "saint of patience" because that's what you have to practice when you're around him

good god, this man

he has the charisma of the fifth but the disagreeable nature of the eighth

here I am, making judgment on these people I only know like 2 representatives of, but anyway

he's like if magnus hadn't discovered a passion for baking and had instead decided his hobby was to be passive aggressive and thinking too highly of himself

his cav was his brother, apparently

harrow thinks he's hollow inside

he is absolutely horrendous to mercygirl

BUT, MOST IMPORTANTLY

he also alludes to not!dulcinea moving and thinks mercygirl is doing it

I don't know about this, you guys

two mulders in one recap is what you get when I have been forced to not read for a couple days

I think fox mulder represents my energy in these recaps

Augustine The Unpleasant mentions that johnny j has "spent the last 10 thousand years on a perpetual search-and-destroy mission out of, as far as I can tell, purely symbolic retribution"

great, that sounds fantastic for god to do

and that "I wouldn't set myself up as his replacement A.L. He doesn't need another bodyguard, and even she was significantly more lucid than you are" (you being mercygirl)

I had mentioned the possibility of ice cube barbie being this AL person, we still don't know, but this AL is "she"

let's put that in the 3D model

augustine calls chad a "nice boy", which tracks for him being a Senior Chad

he treats harrow badly, which we absolutely don't stan over here in the harrow respect corner

harrow obliterates him with a comeback and he calls her Anastasia (You were born in a palace by the sea / A palace by the sea? Could it be?) like the previous ninth

these people love comparing their old pals to everyone they meet, even if they supposedly didn't get along much

harrow also makes fun of yandere twin for being what gideon would call "a weenie" over augustine

then we get the augustine and johnny explanation of how to kill the beast

I am all for information but this whole thing gives me the worst vibes

basically he says the beasts (disrespectful name) eat planets like oysters and then keep the thanergy as armor

the beast can inhabit anything it's thanergetically connected to it via their death

like that which they kill

they travel as river projections

they have agents, which he describes like the borg in star trek

individual forms connected to its hive

the whole lyctor thing, having a necromancer's ability with a cav's training to take over the body, seems to be a key to fighting these things

because the necro part goes down into the river to do the thing and the cav can take over the defense of the body

this, I think, could be what we saw harrow doing in the prologue, the projection thing

but harrow's body isn't protected, because she's "lyctor lite"

because there's hope for gideon or so help me john

which might be why yandere twin was telling her she would not be guarded if she did what she was about to do

I am very intrigued as to what harrow will come to know to push her to do what she did

also, she got stabbed, so I'd like to know if she's fine

but we have 0 guarantees of anything over here in the mithrandir or whatever

the emperor's bolthole

god, what has gideon done to me

they say the point of the combat is to throw the beast's soul into the abyss and hope it doesn't come back

that's what I've been trying to do with not!dulcinea all this time

ALSO still no camilla

see you next time and thank you for not hating the length of these things ♥

[catoperated]

At some point we’re gonna have to talk about how toxic websites like 4chan and Something Awful (rest in piss, Lowtax) influenced trans spaces online.

I only ever used SA back in the day, and it’s now mostly forgotten that “troon” came from a portmanteau of “trans goon” (goon being a member of something awful, not like a gooner… but, eh, it’s still apt), though it was always meant to be belittling.

And then there I was, a transmasc egg surrounded by transfemmes. I didn’t know how to express that I wanted what they had but different, cause I seriously didn’t know trans men existed back then. All I saw were transfemmes, and most of them were transmedicalists. I got called a transphobe when I said wearing a skirt shouldn’t be a required part of transitioning. I have since met many cool trans ladies who aren’t truscum, but the scars remain.

At the time I couldn’t fully articulate how uncomfortable I was with the idea of transitioning to the same old binary, because I also didn’t know GNC was a thing. So for a time I was suicidal because I had no idea of the options open to me. I’m not sure that reading Theory back then would have helped. Having read Theory now (both feminist and communist), I’ve come to the conclusion people lean on it way too much, take it way too literally, never considering that the things proposed have to be adapted to changing times and circumstances. It’s almost like evangelicals interpreting the Bible literally—to everyone’s detriment.

My point being, you can read anything, watch any YouTuber, but for fuck’s sake form your own opinions instead of just throwing books and videos at people like it’ll explain everything and also must be followed to the letter. It won’t, and it shouldn’t.

Yeah, I was also briefly suicidal over leftists dogpiling disability activists for daring to get groceries delivered or using plastic straws. Only other disabled people probably remember this, but it was perpetuated by that butter cat account, which was the most surreal fucking thing to watch unfold.

I’m just tired. Tired of self-proclaimed feminists failing to recognize the patriarchy is what makes us all suffer, including cis men, and that’s the real enemy. I know radfems are largely to blame for pushing the “all men bad” narrative again with the express purpose of dividing trans people, I’ve seen them cackling about what they get away with on accounts where they pretend to be trans. It’s sad people are making their work so easy for them.

I don’t hate or resent transwomen (I can’t remember if the space is preferred or not, but I’m sitting here sweating over it, afraid someone will call out my language when “troon” is already up there), but here I am right back at that awful feeling I had when trying to say skirts should not equal femininity. Fuck, I would probably be suicidal again if not for my partner, who is the best thing to ever happen in my life (love you, babe).

I don’t know how to word this better or more succinctly. My mind wanders a lot when writing. But it’s not just me, right? I see the schism forming and it’s bad for all of us, because the people who want us dead do not care how we present ourselves or how well we pass. We desperately need to support and uplift each other if we’re going to survive all the shit they keep throwing at us all in governments across the entire goddamn world.

So yeah, we need to look at how those websites poisoned the well, as it’s where that mentality of “if you’re not queer/trans in the proper way I deserve to call you a slur” mentality comes from. The pickme urge to go “I’m not like those cringe fags/trannies, I’m one of the cool ones,” too. To reiterate, the people who want us dead for existing do not care one way or the other.

Fuck, why am I worrying about how I word this? If people are gonna interpret this in bad faith there’s nothing I can do to stop them. I just wanted to get this off my zipper-tits—which I’m stealing from you fuckers who use it against transmascs. I got my dirty testosterone fingers all over it and it’s ruined now, sorry.

[freddie-77-ao3]

Percy Jackson-esque Chapter Titles for a fic i'm writing:

We have friends in holy places (and unholy- Hello Lady Hera!)

What’s Up, Random Person, We’re Kidnapping and Adopting You

Yeah, The Beach Is Nice- Thank You For Not Drowning Us

Hazel Was Dead and Still Knows More Than You

Thank Fuck For The Egyptian- How the Hell Did We End Up In Great Britain

Annabeth Is Obsessed and Bianca Is Possessed- There Goes Christmas

Question Of Our Lives and Today Especially: What The Hell Is Going On?!

Now Would Be A Good Time To Be Anyone Else

Call The Police Because We May Have Just Murdered A Mortal

Ask And You Shall Receive… Sometime In The Next Twenty Years Probably

A Guinea Pig, A Dandelion, A Pine Tree, An Olive Tree and Two Embarrassed Girls Walk Into A Bar  

Satan Or Santa? Neither Should Exist And Yet Somehow They’re Both Knocking On Our Tent Door

A Slight Reprieve From The Last Chapter: Connor Comes For You With The Question ‘Do Tents Have Doors?’

And We’re Back, Why Did You Guys Think Our R&R Would Last Long?

Sugar, Spice, Almost Dying Twice (Today)

Would You Put ‘Cheating Death Almost Daily’ Under Experience Or Special Skills?

An Inspirational Trip Through Hell- Persephone Makes Good Brownies

Those Commercials Where People Screw Up The Most Basic Of Tasks In The Most Idiotic Fashion Ever Describes The Current Situation

As The Prophecy Foretold (We Made It Up, But It Came True)

Living Normally? In This Economy?

And Then The Wolves Came… Sike (Thank Fuck)

The Snails Paced Chocolate Bunny Gives Mixed Messages But Good Cereal

What The Hades Is Going On, Someone Explain

Apparently Exploding A Volcano Makes Us 'Irresponsible’

Why Are Cats So Vengeful 

Oh Look! An Unhelpful Old Person!

The Adults Are More Annoying Than Leo Valdez and Nico Di Angelo Put Together

They Scream For Ice Cream, I Scream For Sanity

McDonald’s And Raising The Dead- Tuesday Never Looked So Good

Unfortunately, I’m Still Not Dead Or A Dolphin (Not For Lack Of Effort)

Eggs Apparently Don’t Like Being Lost At Sea

I’m Packing Up My Crayons And Leaving

Viva La Pluto, Fuck You Guys

A Guide To Giving Up

Hopefully We Can Do This Without Dying This Time

Lady Dirt Face Fucks Us Over- Apparently Today CAN Get Worse

Apparently The Horse Is A God, And Honestly, Fuck The World- But Not You Potty Sludge

If Love Is In The Air Then We’re Wearing Gas Masks- How We Almost Started A War On Accident

If Love Is An Open Door We Should Close It- Aphrodite And Cupid Both Suck

Vegan Ice Cream Sandwiches For One

I Call Shotgun (Said The Invisible Girl  and The Literal Ghost)

I Fucked My Way Into This Mess, I’ll Fuck My Way Out Of It

Things Go Horribly Wrong (Or Horribly Right? It’s Hard To Tell At This Point)

The Fine Art Of Bullshit

We Are Being Hunted And Killed (Why Is This Normal And How Can We Stop It?)

Previously On ‘The Chaos Chronicles”

Cool, Cool, Cool, Cool. Actually It’s Not- Who Lit Katie’s Hair On Fire?!

I’d Like To Say This Is Shocking, But That Would Just Be A Lie

One Hundred And One Monsters, And Twenty Times A Therapist Was Needed

I Am Honestly Surprised That We Are Still Alive, And Apparently So Are The Gods

You Will Never Be A God

Blackmail Only Works If I Care

An Offer I Can Definitely Refuse

Hush Little Baby, Don’t You Cry, You’ll Give Away Our Location, And Then We’ll Die

Only Come Back With Back Up Or A Burger- Maybe Donuts

Doomsday Or Not, Let Me Go Back To Bed, I Haven’t Slept In A Week And I Don’t Care

Practise Doesn’t Make Perfect, Practise Makes A Forest Fire And A Flood

Sea Foam Speaks and A New Person Shatters My Dreams

The Labyrinth Apparently Doesn’t Murder The Already Dead, So Can We Just Die Already?

For A Moment I Forgot Gravity, And As It Seems So Did The Sky, Which Is Good Because I’d Hate To Die Before Breakfast

And God Told Us To Run A Marathon- What Happened To Normal Executions?

At Some Point The Universe Just Needs To Kill Us

There Is Not Enough Faith For This, 

No Words Can Explain Dan, The God Of Moths and Accidental Demon Summoning 

 The Endless and Mysterious Ocean Becomes A Bit Less So, And I Should Have Paid For Diving Lessons

If Best Plus Bitter Equal Better, Then I Am Way Better Than Everyone

Firecrackers And Actual Crackers- Where Is The Cheese

He Likes Art. Terrible Art, But Still Art So I Suppose I’ll Forgive The Sword Through My Head

Hazel Drives Worse Than Thalia Which Says A Lot Because Thalia Crashed Into A Lake- Oh Wait

What Do You Do When The World Almost Ends- And No Nico, The Answer Isn’t Go To McDonalds

This Wasn’t Supposed To Happen (Just Like Me)

Can I Rewrite My Life Story, Because If So I’m Starting With This

I Wasn’t Prepared For Parenthood When I Stopped A Kidnapping, I’m Seven

Patting My Own Back, No One Appreciates Me, Fuck This And Really The Rest Of My Life

Apparently Dying Is Not An Excuse For Being Late, So Fuck You Too 

Buying Happy Meals For The Dead Isn’t An Excuse For Being Late

Caped God? I Was Hoping You Had Said Cape Cod

Incoherent Screaming Is Our Theme Song, And I Feel A New Episode On

Who Told Apollo He Could Give Us Presents, Because MCR Is Not A Proper Wake Up Call

It’s Jesus Who Ruined Our Lives This Time, Folks

Don’t Awaken The Ancient One, She Has Anxiety

I Did Not Know That Could Kill Someone, But You Learn Something New Every Day

The Gods Themselves Want Me Dead, You’re Not Special, Todd

Doritos And Death, A How To On Properly Waking And Raising The Dead Featuring A Trip To Alaska

What Was I Thinking? I’m Pretty Certain I Wasn’t

News To No One: The Previously Dead Can’t Drive

I Really Hate Saving The World Actually

How Many Times Is That Threat Going To Work Considering It’s Not Serious? A Surprising Number

Everyone Asks Who We Are, Not How We Are, And Honestly I’m Pretty Hungry

The Gods Hate Me And I Don’t Know Why (I Do Know Why, But I Don’t Care, And Honestly They Shouldn’t Either)

 Which Circle Of Hell Are We In Now, Because I Was Not Planning On A Field Trip To Tartarus

We Master The Elements (Some Of Them- We Also Torch And Flood New England)

In Which We Almost Die Again And No One Bats An Eye

 Our Lives Would Be Incredibly Saddening If We Could Sit Down And Look At Them, But Leo Burned Our Chairs 

The Houseplants Try To Eat Us, And Katie Gets Mad

We Babysit For A God, And Then Adopt His Kids- Surprisingly He’s Fine With This

Dreams Do Come True And That Is Absolutely Not A Good Thing

There Goes My Best Bargaining Chip (Oh And Also His Head)

A Series Of Horrible Decisions- Who Decided I Was The Leader

Hylla, Please Don’t Leave Us- Oh, You Can Give Us A Box Of Cereal? Nevermind 

Sunshine And Rainbows Are Meant To Mean Happiness Not War- Iris and Apollo Destroy Things

Please Don’t Hit Me With Another Brick

We Were Happy And Then There Was A Giant Pigeon

Oh My Holy Fucking Shit That Was Not The Right Lever

In Which Swimming With Sharks Almost Leads To Death And Yet Saves Our Lives

There Is No Highway To Hell As It Turns Out, Only Backroads, And Now Nico And Thalia Are Disappointed

And Then The Sky Almost Crushed Us Because It Fell And Honestly I’m Never Trusting You Again

There Goes Normal Society, Say Bye-Bye, Miranda 

Are We Supposed To Live Through This?

The Dick Who Hands Out Toothbrushes Also Assigns Us A Death Quest And This Is Why We Don’t Celebrate Holidays

Sorry For Cursing You Out, Please Fix My Life

The Plan Checks Out- We Can Do This! (Spoiler Alert- We Can’t)

Three Hundred And Sixty Five Times We Can Say Fuck In A Hour

Please Let Me Pass Out On Your Lawn

Apparently Yelling Fuck At The Sky Is Considered ‘Disrespectful’ And I Haven’t A Fucking Clue Why

Yes Sir, That Is A Lot Of Blood, And No Sir, She Doesn’t Need That Leg

That One Time We Accidentally End Up In The Slaughter Sea, And How That Manages To End Up With A New Leader Of The Amazon Empire And Thalia Gets A Girlfriend

Yes, I’m Aware I Look Gay, Thank You Very Much, I’m Here To Be Queer

This Person Is Nico di Angelo With Less Shits To Give, And Honestly That Scares Me

A Good Idea With Bad Results And A Bad Idea With Surprising Results- The Ending Will Astound You

Never Thought I’d Literally Be Shut In The Closet Again, But Life’s Full Of Surprises

One Million Pounds Of Oranges And Sadness, Sixty Thousand Pounds Of Mangos, And A Truck Full Of Happiness- Monsters Not Welcome

Who Packed The Blueberry Muffins?

Nevertheless She Persisted, And Yet Just Like That, She Gave Up

What The Hell Is This, What The Hell Is That, Why The Hell Am I Here, What The Hell, *Moonwalks Into Hell*: A Brief Summary Of Life

All Is Fair In Being The First One In The Shower

We Accidentally Summon An Army Of Lost Souls

All Our Nightmares Come True And We Prove We’re Idiots

Life Gave ‘Lia Lemons. She Squeezed Them In My Eyes. Please No More Lemons.

Trying To Play Nice To The Gods Never Ends Well. In Other Words, Percy Is An Olive Tree

What’s Happening? I’m Digging My Own Grave, That’s What

Finger Guns, Peace Signs, and Middle Fingers To Nowhere- Home At Last

In Jason’s Defense, He Tried, But The Dragon Was More Interesting

Keeping A Family Alive Can Be Difficult, Especially With No Education and More Monsters A Day Than Cash (Twenty Dollars)

Thalia Tries To Sing Over Annabeth And Percy Arguing And All That Happens Is A Noise Complaint

At This Point, Murder Is Less Of A Passing Thought And More Of An ‘It’s Only A Matter Of Time’

Cousin Bonding Time Doesn’t Usually Include The Gods, But There Are Burgers So…

According To The Crazy Titan Lord Kronos, Asking If A Newborn Looks Like A Rock Is A Question That Will Result In The Death Of The Asker

Oh Joy, I’m Facing Scrutiny Over My Love Life From Immortal Preteens

Oh Things Couldn’t Be Worse When Your Parents Run The Universe Oh Things Couldn’t Be Worse When There’s A Vote To Kill Us (Leo stop using Jazz hands!)

We Have The Worst Family Reunion Ever 3.0

Barbed Wire Instead Of String, The Fates Hate Me More Than You Might Think

Zombies, Zombies Everywhere, Wave Your Hands Up In The Air

The World Is A Different Place When You Know What The World Is (Spoiler Alert: It’s Your Murderous Great Grandma)

The Refrigerator Seems Empty, Much Like My Soul

Ah, The Smell Of Success, It Smells Like Bullshit

My Heart Is Broken (Like Those Crackers That Bianca’s Eating)

Utter Chaos: Now Featuring Camp Half Blood And Literal Blood

Family Drama Destroys My Life

Family Drama 2.0: Family Drama Destroys California

So Then A God Says We ‘Will Save Humanity’, And Thalia Says ‘What The Fuck’

Two Middle Aged Women Start Screaming In Walmart

The Main Braincell Holder Is Asleep, God Doesn’t Exist, And Starting Forest Fires Is A Normal Way To Deal With Stress

Hell Is Just Life On Steroids

Queerly Beloved, We Are Gathered Here Togay… A.K.A. A Bet Ruins Rachel Elizabeth Dare’s Life

Normal People Would Avoid This, But The Two Most Normal People Here Used To Be Dead Or Will Die When A Stick Lights On Fire, So We Can’t Have High Hopes

We Try (And Fail, But Hey, It’s The Thought That Counts, Right?)

So THAT’S Where The Greek Fire Went. Sorry, Bus Driver.

Percy Has His Gay Awakening In The Form Of His Grandfather (Technically. He’s Also Technically His First Cousin Once Removed Or Something- Annabeth’s cousin maybe?)

You're Annoying Me To Death With Your Monologue So I Have To Kill You Now

What Can Go Wrong Will Go Wrong Doesn’t Mean You Should Set My Bed On Fire

Thalia Does Shock Therapy Meaning She Electrocutes People When They Say Things 

We Should Know By Now That Yelling Doesn't Solve Things But We Don’t, And The Gods Don’t Either

Most Of My Life Is Incredibly Traumatizing, But This Is New 

Who The Fuck Invited The Norse?!

Okay, I Thought The Norse Were Enough, Why Are The Magicians Here?

Wow. Popcorn. The Roman’s Worst Nightmare. 

So First The World Almost Ends, And Then The World Ends But It Gets Better, And Now It’s Ending Again?

Prophecies Can Fuck Off, And So Can Apollo

“Treacherous Nephew In The Tuxedo” Should Sound Funny, But It Doesn’t, And That Makes Leo Sad

 Why Is A Titan Making Dad Jokes? 

Falling Into A Dumpster Was The Highlight Of My Day, What Is Life

Grieving For The Living Is Just As Hard As Grieving For The Dead

Please Forget That I Tried To Kill You

In My Defence, An Invisible Higher Power Who Has The Ability To Strike Me Down Made Me Do It

Let Out A Boo For The Boom Man

Twenty McDonald’s Happy Meals And A Gun- Godly Gifts Are Awesome

We Enter The Maze Of Doom (This Time With Fabulous Prizes)

Two Brothers Are Not Happy As A Sister Cheers On Two More Brothers As They Duel To The Death- (Triton & Tyson & Kymopoleia & Percy & Anteus Have Sibling Bonding Time) 

The Eight Year Old With A Gun Manages To Save And Then Destroy A Life

Hello, I’m Queer, And Full Of Fear. Please Kill Me Now

Children Try To Make Plans (It Doesn’t Go So Well)

Thalia Grace Once Again Proves That Being A Demigod Really Fucking Sucks

It Don’t “Do Be Like That Sometimes” Leo, We Are In HELL

[le-sluagh]

#8 Incorrect Batman: Vigilante (My AU)

Harvey Dent: Being half asleep and feeling someone gently plant a kiss on your forehead is one of the purest kinds of love in the world.

Two Face: Unless you're home alone.

*****

Riddler: Want to hear a hard riddle?

Mad hatter: ...*Sigh* Sure.

Riddler: A rooster laid an egg on a roof. Which way did it roll?

Mad Hatter: ...down?

Riddler: N-

Scarecrow: Who cares about which way it rolled, it would be scrambled eggs by then.

Riddler:

Riddler: No, it's that roosters don't lay eggs... Jesus Christ...

*****

Joker: What if mayonnaise came in cans?

Harley Quinn: Well, that would suck because you can't microwave metal.

Two Face: Good morning to everyone except these two people.

*****

*During a meeting of the Legion of Doom*

Lex Luthor: Joker is late again.

Two Face: How did this happen? I called him at 8 o’clock this morning and pretended it was 11.

Poison Ivy: I printed up a fake schedule for him saying we were starting at 9 instead of noon.

Harley Quinn: I set his clock to say PM when it’s really AM.

Lex Luthor: Oh boy. You may have overdone it.

*Joker bursts through the door with panic*

Joker: WHAT TIME IS IT?

*****

Mad Hatter: Scarecrow... Why did you draw a pentagram on the floor?

Scarecrow: Your text told me to satanize the house before you returned.

Mad Hatter:

Mad Hatter: I wrote sanitize, Scarecrow.

*****

Harvey Dent: The clock is ticking! We don't have time for this asinine tomfoolery!

Harley Quinn: This unmitigated poppycock?

Joker: Extravagant hogwash!

Two Face: Okay, stop.

*****

Lex Luthor: I literally cannot believe I let you take me into this.

Joker: I literally said “I have an idea,” and you just went along with it without question.

*****

Mr.Freeze: Like, no offense to myself and all, but what the fuck am I actually doing?

*****

Mad Hatter: When I said bring me something back from the beach, I meant like a conch shell!

Scarecrow: *Struggling to hold a seagull* Fucking say that next time!

*****

Joker: Hey, Lexy! Did you know your my BFFLWYLION?

Lex Luthor: What the hell is that supposed to mean?

Joker: Best Friend For Life Whether You Like It Or Not.

Lex Luthor:

Lex Luthor: That’s one way to say it, I guess…

[gyougherea]

crp/mh pride hcs

got inspired by a mutual (the-s1lly-corner) <3 i wanna have a silly post about my silly guys. under cut bc i might get long

jeff the killer

jeff feels very greyrom/aro bisexual to me, i think he "prefers" women because he doesn't wanna admit he's bisexual at first. idk if he explicitly uses the greyrom label or anything but it describes him pretty well. he/him

liu woods / homicidal liu

can we give it up for TRANSHETS!!!!!!! realized he was trans (ftm) at a young age, didn't get to transition until adulthood because the only family who supported him was jeff. mainly to hide from his past he's also stealth about being transgender. he/him

sully (liu's cohost and protector) is arohet i think? idk haven't thought much but i do think liu and sully have slightly different seuxalities. it/he (EDIT: its sexuality is also influenced by the fact that it's an introject of jeff)

jane the killer

lesbian and also trans mtf!!! transbian jane epic win. i think she knew for a while that she was a lesbian and then also realized she was trans in high school as she was going further through puberty. i think she's femme lesbian specifically??? she/her

nina the killer

bisexual (initially had a pref for women, now just has a pref for the glasgow killer, aka jeff), cis girl but LOOOOOVES experimenting with pronouns!!! she/her default but PLEASE use neopronouns on her she would literally die for you if you got wacky with it

ben drowned

even if he wasn't ethereally both 12 and 32 he would still 100% be aroace. that shit does not intrigue him! he also uses he/they pronouns, maybe it/its. lost their gender in the whole becoming a computer shit

ticci toby

transmasc nonbinary, biromantic asexual! he/him pronouns specifically, despite not being a man he really leans into masculine terms and also even is on T and gave himself top surgery! yes. to himself. don't ask. it looks awful. world's worst top surgery scars award

clockwork

she/her. not butch not femme but a secret third thing (the butchest lesbian twitter can handle before getting scared /ref)

tim wright (two hcs)

normal hc is that he's biromantic aceflux! he doesn't really have a preference, frankly he's nervous about entering a serious relationship regardless of gender. his asexuality is kind of a roulette; he also probably falls between sex-neutral and sex-repulsed. he/him

"my house now" hc is that he's an intersex butch lesbian (not sure which exact intersex disorder but one of the ones i'm debating is something with 46,xx dsd?) that doesn't care about gender but uses he/him and masc terms because someone called him that and he was like "why not lol". he/him but frankly not offended if any other pronouns used

masky uses he/they in the first hc, it/its in the second hc

brian thomas (two hcs)

normal hc is that he's a gay man! discovered he was gay pretty early on in life and was probably tim's unofficial bisexual awakening back in college. very open about his identity, he's like the queer beacon in my eyes. he/him

"my house now" hc is that he's a lesbian and trans mtf! for the longest time she thought she was a bisexual man, but then in her late 20s to early 30s realized that not only did she feel like One Of The Girls(TM) but also that the only "man" she was attracted to was tim, who's not a man, so whoops! transbian time! she/her

hoodie uses he/it in the first hc, it/they in the second hc

jay merrick

trans ftm and bisexual! went on T but hasn't gotten top or bottom surgery before becoming the nefarious skully or whatever. cracked his egg in college, but probably figured out he was biseuxal in high school. he/him

skully uses no labels just vibes. queer/abrosexual and genderfluid are probably the labels that best describe them but again they don't fucking care. they/them default but sometimes uses others depending on which of their "many" are at the forefront

jessica locke

now if that's not the biggest lesbian i have ever seen in my life... her and taylor absolutely get married in lesbians after the comics are over. jessica probably always knew she didn't like boys but didn't realize she liked girls until a fateful sleepover in middle school or something. she/her

nothing specific for the others rn, might make a part 2 if i come up with more <3 adios

[ereardon]

Golden Hour || Ch. 4 [Bob Floyd x Bradley Bradshaw x OC]

A Bob Floyd & Bradley Bradshaw AU [Hart of Dixie inspired]

Synopsis: Willow, Georgia. Barely even a town, just a speck on a map that you tried to wipe off, mistaking it for a crumb. You’re the outsider: a fancy New York doctor, fresh out of a failed engagement, with zero primary care experience. You’re also the new town doctor, taking over for a recent retiree who was beloved. His son, Bob Floyd, is the other physician at the practice, and takes an immediate dislike to you. But you were looking for a fresh start, and Willow doesn’t seem all that bad if you can get past the fact that there's only one restaurant in town. It helps that you've caught the eye of Bradley Bradshaw, the town attorney, despite the fact that you vowed to take a break from dating. How long until you start to make friends in a town where social circles have been set in stone since elementary school? And what will it take to make Bob Floyd see you’re not as bad as he wants to believe you are?

Pairing: Bob Floyd x OC; Bradley Bradshaw x OC

Tropes: Love triangle, enemies to lovers

Warnings: Cursing, alcohol

Chapter summary: Bob's former fiancé moves back to town; Bradley finally gets Olive to go on a date with him

WC: 3.3K

Masterlist here; previous chapter here; next chapter here

You were sitting on a stool at Breakers picking at their breakfast of champions — grits, eggs fried in butter, a biscuit soaked in gravy, a doctor’s nightmare — when Phoenix’s head snapped up. 

“Charlotte,” she said, eyes wide. Something in her voice made you look up. A beautiful woman, late twenties or early thirties, stepped through the doorway. She had blonde hair in soft waves, perfect white teeth, legs that went on for miles beneath her short dress. But somehow it came off much more prim and proper than the skirt you were wearing, and you crossed your legs self consciously. 

“Natasha,” she said and you bristled. Who was this girl and why was she calling Phoenix Natasha? 

“Back home visiting your mom?” Phoenix asked, refilling the coffee machine and then turning around, placing both hands on the slightly sticky bar top. 

Charlotte shook her head. “No. I’m home for good.” 

You watched Phoenix’s mouth turn into a fine line. There was a density in the air that hadn’t been there a moment before. She caught your eye and then added, “Charlotte, this is Dr. Olive James. She’s taking over Dr. Robert’s patients.” 

Charlotte smiled. It was frigid and tense. Fuck, she was stunning. But she had the aura of someone who would cut you down immediately if you stood between her and winning. You knew her type well. 

You were her. In another life. The life that ended a month ago on a perfectly sunny day in New York. Not that you had been able to see the sunlight from inside the frigid OR as Peter confessed. 

You held out a hand. “Nice to meet you.” 

Charlotte stepped forward, sticking one thin, pale hand in yours. It was limp. “You too.” 

“So you grew up here?” you asked, taking a sip of coffee. 

She looked at Phoenix. “Yeah. Something like that. Listen, I should probably head out. I’m meeting Mrs. Flannery at nine.” Charlotte looked you up and down. “Nice to meet you, Olive. Nat, I’ll see you around.” 

She was gone in a moment, just a cloud of Byredo perfume left in her wake. You turned to Phoenix. “Who was that?” 

“That was Charlotte,” she said. “Local pageant queen. Complete nightmare. And Bob Floyd’s ex-fiancé.”

***

You had thought you were getting somewhere with Bob. After the way the two of you had left things at his father’s house. But the moment you stepped in the office there was a chill. Literally and figuratively. Molly sat at the front desk shivering in a cardigan. 

“Dr. James,” she said, teeth chattering. “Mr. Flannery is in your office. Unscheduled appointment. Oh and the HVAC guy is coming this afternoon. Something’s wrong with the air conditioning!” 

“I can tell,” you muttered, swinging open the heavy wood door to your office and smiling. “Mr. Flannery, I’m Dr. James. How can I help you today?” 

He looked up. “It’s my throat. Feels all scratchy. Like I can’t swallow.” 

“If you can sit up on this table over here, sir, I can help you out.” You maneuvered Mr. Flannery onto the paper-covered examination bed and pulled on a pair of gloves. “Open wide for me.” Swollen, red tonsils with white spots and an inflamed throat. You nodded, sitting back. “Sorry to say you have strep throat.” 

He closed his mouth. “Well fuck.” 

You laughed. “I’m sorry. I’ll write you a prescription for azithromycin. It’s a five-day course, make sure you take it about an hour before having any food. And even if you feel better, take the full course or it could come back and that would be a worse case.” 

“Is it contagious?” he asked. 

“Very.” 

“So I should send my wife in for treatment?” Mr. Flannery asked. 

“That would be a good precaution,” you said, writing down the prescription and ripping it off the pad. “Here you go. Take this to Molly up front and she’ll get everything squared away.” 

He nodded, standing up. “Thanks Doc.” 

“Oh, Mr. Flannery?” He turned. “What does your wife do?” 

“Why do you ask, Doctor?” 

“I, um, I knew someone had a meeting with her this morning. Was just curious. Still trying to keep everyone in town straight.” You flashed him what was hopefully a convincing smile. 

He nodded. “She’s a real estate agent. Are you looking?” 

“Maybe.” 

“I’ll have her come by and give you a card,” he said. “And for a check up.” 

“Feel better.” 

He closed the door behind him and you leaned back. Charlotte was looking for a house. That was serious. You had met the woman for all of three minutes and somehow were annoyed by her presence and the fact that she was in Willow to stay. 

Three patients later, you thought your limbs might fall off. “Molly,” you cried, tossing open the door to your office. “It’s freezing, when is the HVAC guy coming?” 

“Dr. James.” Bob’s voice was hard. You spotted the empty desk, as well as the sparse waiting room, just one older woman on the phone in the corner. “My office. Please.” 

You rolled your eyes, following Bob into his office. He looked toasty in a pair of slacks and a button down, sleeves still rolled up enough to show off his firm forearms. Meanwhile you shivered in a short skirt and sleeveless top. “It’s cold as fuck,” you moaned. 

Bob had his back to you, not even bothering to respond as he moved across the room, opening an old wooden cabinet that you assumed held medical supplies, emerging a minute later with a lab coat and a sweater. The sweater was a vintage cable knit, navy blue and slightly frayed at the collar and cuffs. He held them out. “Here.”

You took them wordlessly. Was Bob Floyd being nice to you? “Um, thank you,” you replied, putting the lab coat down and sliding on the sweater. It was slightly long, ending just above the hem of your skirt, and much too wide, but you sighed in relief as the warmth enveloped your body. Bob picked up the lab coat, holding it out and you pivoted slightly, placing one arm in and then the other. The jacket brushed against your knees and you hugged your arms close. 

He nodded. “Molly’s at lunch but when she’s back I’ll have her call Ed again about the A/C.” 

“Human popsicle,” you replied and to your surprise Bob’s lips twitched upward. You grinned. “Well, um, thanks again.” 

“No problem.” 

He seemed in no rush to have you leave, one hand propped against the wall casually. “I met Charlotte today,” you said. It spilled out of your mouth before you could stop yourself. 

Bob’s face went pale. An almost ashen color. Similar to watching someone hemorrhage blood after a birth. You regretted it the moment the words left your lips, but you just kept word vomiting into the abyss. 

“She’s pretty. Cold. Not quite a human popsicle, we might freeze here and it’ll be like the Day After Tomorrow without Dennis Quaid to rescue us cold. Just, distant.” 

“Charlotte is cold,” Bob said. His response was crisp. Calm. He would make an excellent surgeon. Collected and even tempered. You wondered briefly if he had ever thought of a specialty outside of general medicine. 

“I’m sorry,” you blurted. “I shouldn’t have said anything.” 

“It’s fine.” He pushed off of the arm that had been leaning against the wall, running one hand through his hair. “I’m guessing Phoenix told you about our history.” 

“That she was your fiancé,” you replied. “That’s all.” 

“That’s all,” he repeated. “Yeah, that’s about all there is.” 

“When was the last time you saw her?” 

“When she left,” Bob said. “Five years ago.” 

“Wow.” Five years was a lifetime. “I’m sorry.” 

“I’m sorry she’s back,” he replied. “Charlotte is a tornado. Everywhere, all at once. Destruction and chaos and excitement. And then gone in an instant. She loves to leave piles of shit in her wake.” It was the first time you had heard so many sentences come out of Bob’s mouth. And with such vitriol.  

“Maybe it was time Willow had some excitement.” 

Bob looked at you. There was something different in his gaze but you couldn’t place it. “Dr. James,” he said, silky voice grazing your skin gently. “We’ve only just started to adjust to having you here. That was exciting enough.” 

“I’m not that bad,” you protested. 

Bob shook his head. “Sure, Olive.” 

There it was again. Your name on his tongue. There was something so sexy about the reserved way he said it. You smiled, stepping closer to the door. If possible, it was colder when you tugged it open. From next to his desk, Bob smirked. You grabbed the chart next to your door and turned toward the waiting room. “Mrs. Okane?” 

***

When Bradley showed up at the end of your shift, you didn’t even think twice. It had been almost a week since he had been in the clinic. That was five times longer than he had gone without walking through the front doors the week before. 

You smirked when he popped his head into your office. “Dr. James?” 

“Mr. Bradshaw.” You put your hands on your desk and stood up. “What is it this time? Let me guess. Yellow fever.”

“See, Doc, I think it’s more serious than that.” He ambled through the doorway, wearing a suit. That alone took your breath away. No one as handsome as Bradley Bradshaw should be allowed to wear a suit, it was practically a crime how good he looked. He would have to try himself in a court of law for that. “I think I have stress cardiomyopathy.” 

You laughed, head tipped back. “A broken heart? Really Bradshaw?” 

“But you’re lucky,” Bradley said, stepping closer. “I’m a master at Googling and WebMD and I think I found a cure.” 

“Oh? And what would that be?” 

“You go on a date with me. Tonight.” 

You let out a sigh. “Bradley.” 

“I know, I know, you’re not here to date,” he said. “But one dinner? Doctors have to eat, too. Have to practice what you preach, right?” 

“You’re wearing me down, Bradshaw.” 

“That’s the point.” He flashed a brilliant smile which turned into a frown. One of Bradley’s hands came out, fingering the pocket of your lab coat. “Is this Bob’s jacket?” 

You hadn’t even realized that it was embroidered with his name. You had been seeing patients in it all day as Dr. Floyd. The fact that some of the patients may have thought that made you his wife made you blush. “Um, yeah. The AC was broken and it was freezing, so I borrowed something from him.” 

Bradley nodded but the relief didn’t reach his eyes. 

Against your better judgment, you reached out, taking Bradley’s hand in yours. His face warmed instantly. “OK. Dinner.”

“I’m guessing not Breakers.” 

“You know what I would love?” 

“A salt bagel from H&H?” 

“Well yes. And the crispy tuna from Koi on Bryant Park and dim sum from Flushing.” Bradley laughed. “But no. I just want a good, healthy meal. Something that isn’t drowned in butter and doesn’t have five different types of pig products on it. And a glass of wine that isn’t from a box.” You shuddered. 

“I can make that happen, Doc.” 

“Oh yeah?” 

“Red or white?” 

“Surprise me.” 

“I’ll pick you up at seven,” he said, dropping your hand. “Oh and Doc? Do me a favor. Lose Floyd’s coat. Makes you look like his.” 

“And that bothers you?” you called out as Bradley walked through the doorway. 

He turned back. “Yeah, Liv, it does. I’d like to pretend that on tonight’s date you’re all mine. Even if I’m still winning you over.” 

***

What the hell does one wear on a date in Willow, Georgia? 

All of your jeans were designer and too tight for the occasion. A dress felt too fancy. You kicked a slinky black Reformation dress into the corner of the room in frustration, standing in the middle of the chaos wearing a La Perla lingerie set and a pair of Jimmy Choos. Maybe you should just answer the door wearing that. Bradley might have a heart attack. It would go hand-in-hand with his fictional cardiomyopathy, you thought. 

Finally you picked up a black silky tank top and a short matching skirt, tugging them on just as there was a knock on the door. “Coming!” you shouted, grabbing your purse, a YSL Manhattan that was, no shocker, better suited in Manhattan than Willow, and spritzing a dose of Maison Margiela perfume on before rushing for the door. “Hi,” you said, letting out a quick sigh. 

Bradley had on a pair of jeans and a tight polo that showed off his muscular arms and broad chest. He grinned. “You look amazing.” 

You slipped the purse onto your shoulder. “It’s nice to have an excuse to dress up again.” 

“Willow fashion scene isn’t cutting it for you?” 

“The dress barn isn’t exactly my vibe,” you replied, locking the door. Bradley chuckled. “What?” 

“That,” he said, pointing to the door handle. “You locking the door. No one locks their doors around here. It’s Willow.” He placed an emphasis on Willow. 

“That’s insane.” 

He shrugged. “Again, that’s Willow. Here, watch your step.” Bradley held out his arm, guiding you down the steps toward his truck. 

“So, where are we going?” 

“It’s a surprise, Doc,” he replied, pulling the truck into reverse. 

Bradley’s surprise was dinner on his wraparound porch. He lived in a charming house one block from the town center, white with blue shutters and pots of mums outside the front door. He had set up a table and candles on one side of the house and even from outside you could smell something delicious. “What is that?” you asked, sniffing the air like a Doberman. 

He smiled. “Well you said healthy, but this is the South. So it’s chicken and dumplings. But I promise I made a salad.”

“Smells divine.” 

“Want to come inside and grab some wine while I check on dinner?” 

“Sure.” The inside of Bradley’s house was just as charming as the outside. A crisp white linen sofa facing a marble top coffee table, a six-person dining room set and a small kitchen with a little kitchen island. Down the hall you spotted an olive green mudroom with built-in shelves. “Your house is gorgeous.” 

“My mother decorated,” he replied, stepping up to the stove and pulling off a lid from the pot, the smell of rich chicken and veggies hitting your nose. “I let her because it was that or death.” 

“God, I feel that,” you replied. “My mother is the same.” 

“Probably why I went to New York,” he added. “Cut the umbilical cord.” 

“Do you miss it?” 

“All the time.” Bradley put the lid back on the dutch oven and reached up in the cabinet for two wine glasses. “Red or white?” 

“Red.”

He produced a bottle of pinot noir from a wine cabinet and set it on the counter. “What do you miss the most?” 

“Everything,” you replied automatically. “The sounds. It’s too quiet here to sleep at night.” 

“Yeah, I get that.” Bradley swirled a knife around the seam of the bottle, loosening the cover over the cork. “I miss the food.” 

“Obviously. And the nightlife. And the Met. Saturdays in Central Park and then walking over to Bloomingdales. Taking the Metro North on weekends up the Hudson. Christmas on Fifth Ave. Getting blackout drunk in the West Village and running into celebrities.”

Bradley chuckled. “You might have had more fun than I did.” 

“Maybe,” you replied, taking a sip of wine. “In medical school for sure. But residency? God, I was lucky if I was able to shower and order takeout before falling asleep.” 

“You know what I wonder?” Bradley asked.

“Hmm?”

“Did we ever meet in the city? How could we have spent all those years within the same twenty mile radius and never met?” 

“Chance, Bradley,” you said. “It’s not like I was hanging out at Columbia Law.” 

“I like to think we were in the same place at the same time before, but didn’t meet until now.” 

“Oh yeah? And why is that?” 

He smiled. “Because that’s a better love story, Doc. Two people, fated to meet. It’s every Hallmark movie rolled into one.” 

“So I’m the big city girl who leaves her fiancé and goes to the small town and falls in love with the local baker or farmer or pumpkin stand owner?” 

“Exactly.” He grinned. 

You sighed, shaking your head. “Yeah. Except I didn’t leave him. He left me. And I didn’t leave. I ran. They’re different.” 

“You’re here now,” Bradley whispered. “Maybe that’s the fate part.” 

“So what you’re telling me,” you said, leaning in closer, hip brushing against the kitchen island, dangerously close to where Bradley was standing, “is that you’re a hopeless romantic at heart.” 

“That’s exactly what I’m saying.” 

After dinner, which was excellent and you confirmed was cooked entirely by Bradley, he cut thick slices of local peach pie and carried them out to where you sat on the porch. You shivered and Bradley found a blanket, laying it gingerly over your shoulders. You smiled up at him as he took a seat across the small table from you. The candles were melting down into their holders. You looked around. “This is a cute street. Feel like I’ve been here before.” 

Bradley hooked one thumb over his shoulder. “That’s Bob’s house.” He pointed to the house directly next door. You grimaced. That’s where you recognized it from, the day you had shown up to yell at him only to realize he had the flu. 

How was it possible that the only two men you spoke to in the entire town lived next to each other? 

“Olive.” Your name was sweet on his tongue. “Can I ask you a question?” 

“Go ahead.”

“How long do you plan on staying in Willow?”

“I’m not sure. Why?” 

He leaned back and shook his head. “Just wondering how bad my cardiomyopathy is going to be. If I should make an appointment at Atlanta General for next month or sometime next year.” It was October but the leaves were still firmly stuck on the trees. 

“Bradley,” you whispered. “Trust me when I say, you don’t want me.” 

“Patently false.” 

You shook your head. “Trust me. You’re better off. Find a nice girl, like Phoenix. Someone who belongs here.” 

“That’s the thing,” he replied. “I don’t exactly belong here anymore either.” 

“So why stay?” 

“Problem is that I don’t belong anywhere. Not here, not New York. I’m not entirely dedicated to a single place.” 

“Maybe it’s somewhere else,” you countered. “Somewhere you haven’t been yet.”

“I know what I’m missing, Olive, and it’s not a house or a job or a favorite restaurant.” 

“Then what is it?” 

“A partner,” he said and your breath caught in your throat. “When you find that one person you can’t live without, you can live anywhere. Because it’s not about being tied to a place. It’s being tied to another person.” 

“How can you be so sure?” 

“I can’t,” he said softly. “Not until I find her.” 

“Maybe she’s back in New York,” you replied. “Or Atlanta. Or San Diego.” 

“Or maybe, she’s sitting in front of me pretending to eat a piece of peach pie.” 

“Oh, Bradley.” At that moment, a light flickered on in Bob’s house. You turned just as Bob approached the window of his living room, one hand on each side of the drapes. Your eyes caught his for a moment. 

And then he pulled the drapes together, shutting you out.

Tag list or follow my library page @ereardonlibrary:

@eli2447 @himbos-on-ice @genius2050 @xomrsalliej4787xo @cool-ultra-nerd @xoxabs88xox @genius2050 @shanimallina87

@double-j @topguncultleader @momc95 @hangmandruigandmav @minamisulemisa @shawnsblue @blue-aconite @seresinhangmanjake @brehonodea @babyminghao @crthurston @angelbabyangee @secretsicanthideanymorey

@taytaylala12ylala12 @mizzzpinkink @wkndwlffwlff @mygyn @sadpetalsstuff @averyhotchner @shanimallina87 @oneelleandaneye @rosewritesitout @atarmychick007 @khaylin27

@wittywhispers @wildlyobserving @eyesthatroll @localhockeygirll @rosiahills22 @sexythollandd @djs88911 @rxmtoon @darkestbeforethedawn166 @cactajuiceice @purplevortexx @dempy @lemur46

@louie-bugug @arson-tmm @valkyrja-siren-blog @avengers-fixation @fudge13 @phantomxoxo @a-court-of-roscoe-and-babyy @not-two-shrimp @abaker7474 @evans-dejong @mandylove1000 @bobfloydsbabe @clancycucumber230 @teacupsandtopgun

[noctilucous-sunni]

more reversed sagau brainrot!! | a lot more under the cut

- when scara sorta just ✨materializes✨ in your apartment and you’re like excuse me wtf is happening, so u pinch yourself to see if its a dream and its not apparently so you must be going insane BECAUSE WHAT OTHER EXPLANATION WOULD THERE BE FOR ONE OF YOUR FAVOURITE CHARACTERS EXISTING IN YOUR APARTMENT

- i’d feel like in the sagau or reversed sagau he wouldn’t be too fond of the all-creator bc if thats the all-creator wouldn’t that mean that you’re the one responsible for his existence and his suffering?? but when he just sees you being so genuinely nice and caring and yet strong and doesn’t take his shit he kinda lets down the guard a little

- plus he literally has nowhere else to stay so when you threatened to kick him out he realized it was either live with you or out on the streets. and he kinda hated the streets, so he ended up trying to find your place all dirty and stuff from tripping in way too many godforsaken random holes in the ground. poor gremlin.

- he is just super bratty and still has that air of “i think im better than you” but it never works on you bc you dont take his shit and you make him do half of your chores when your pissed at him (and you make sure there are no complaints)

- he wouldn't call you your grace after a while and just uses your name, you however come up with a million nicknames for him and you think its funny that it annoys him on occasion

- you argue. A lot. like so much that your neighbour and the apartment below you complained several times and also kinda tried to make the landlord kick u out so you made scara apologize to them bc hes mainly the reason its so noisy

- he will actually follow you everywhere, sorta like a guard dog. everyone around you is pretty intimidated by him but they are even more scared of you when they see that you basically keep him in check

- he can’t fucking cook dear lord. you told him to stay in the fucking apartment bc you had an important meeting today and he couldnt come with you and he was like “i didnt want to come anyway” and you just said “fuck you” (affectionate) in return (note: wrote this before his signature dish came out and he’s actually a really good cook don’t judge me ahaha)

- but when you come back your apartment and kitchen especially is a mess. you forgot to teach him how to use online delivery. and hes just like chilling out watching tv with mild interest, acting like half of your apartment isnt covered in eggs and flour and who knows what else

“scara what the fuck happened here”

“the stupid stove of yours doesnt work and neither does that beeping machine”

“clean it up”

“no”

“well i guess we wont have any food today or tomorrow, until you clean. it. UP." *glare*

he then leaves it but by the next afternoon he's actually getting hungry and grumpy and eventually starts cleaning it up the next day when he can't take it anymore and you finally come home to a clean kitchen bc thank god, you didn't know how much longer you could live on your co-worker's lunches

- you're both just so stubborn. he's stubborn and so are you and that leaves the apartment just with a tense silence AND when someone sees u at that time they feel so uncomfortable bc the atmosphere is just so tense between the two of you since neither of you agree

- silent treatment happens a lot and its really fucking stupid bc you both wanna talk to each other after like a few days but neither of you want to be the first one to admit that

- omg you absolutely hate having guests now BECAUSE HOW ARE YOU MEANT TO EXPLAIN HIM??? also he has to have normal clothes now and he looked at all your clothing choices in disgust

- everyone thinks he's just a friend until they realize he actually lives with you and then they're like "oohhhh are you together??" and think that he's your boyfriend/partner. and honestly you dont even deny it bc there is no feasible way to explain who he really is (without sounding crazy) + you get your parents off your back abt getting a boyfriend bc they kept trying to make you go on blind dates and now you're free from that phew

- but some of your friends/co-workers are all like "really? this lil guy? and they often say this around him and it just annoys and offends him to no end. but also you're surprisingly defensive of him, like yes he's a bitchy emo gremlin but he's your bitchy emo gremlin

[insanitybl00m]

Heaven’s Not Close in a Place Like This

Chapter Three - Bolas try to help--

Phil could hear the yells of Bolas from the hallway.  shared the same class for their last class of the day and Phil was always subjected to trying to wrangle the other members of their group into a semblance of calm.

“I have to take care of an egg with Mariana for fucks sake!”

“Imagine!” 

Phil walked into Baghera and Slime about to break into a fistfight. Jaiden was taking bets with Cellbit and Foolish.

“Oi! You two! No fighting on school grounds. You have any grievances you take them out later!”

Baghera shrugged back on her jacket. “He started it.”

“I don’t doubt that.” Phil said with a laugh as he sat down next to Charlie. “Who did you guys end up with?”

Foolish beamed. “Vegetta! We called our egg Leonarda777! Her name is Leo for short.”

“Of course he somehow managed to be partnered with his boyfriend.” Slime muttered.

“Huh? What’s that? Someone wishing their ex would want to get back together with them? Who knows maybe you two will finally make up!” Foolish teased, his grin was shark-like.

“He’s a bitch! I don’t want to get back with him.” 

Phil moved on. “And you Baghera?”

“I got partnered with Etoiles,”

“Etoiles is probably the best person to be partnered with, he will spend hours on something to get a slight advantage over others.”

Her eyes shone. “I know right? Our egg Pomme is the most precious girl!” 

And they went around the group, rambling about their partner and their eggs. Some point after Slime broke into a rant about Mariana for the fourth time Phil turned on his phone and went straight to his contacts.

Philza: Hey this is Phil. I just checked my work schedule. I should be free after school tonight and Friday. 

Missa: Awesome! We’d also have to do one set of tasks over the weekend then. Sunday works best for me ^w^

Philza: I can’t do Sunday it’s the only day that’s completely a non-negotiable

Missa: oh! I’m sorry! I’ll figure out how to get some extra time for Saturday. Soulfire typically does these big group hangouts at the mall but if I’m going to be honest they kinda overwhelm me

Philza: believe me if I could get out of it I would. I do not want you to have to rearrange your schedule

Missa: you offered to do it with your work, I’m just getting out of an extra hour of hanging out at the mall hahaha

Philza: thank you

Missa: Ofc! It’s not an issue!

Jaiden waved her hand in front of Phil’s face, officially pulling his focus off of his phone. “We’ve been saying your name for the past three minutes.” 

“Sorry I was messaging my egg partner–”

A chorus of ‘ooos’ filled the room. “Philza has a crush~” Baghera cheered. “Oh I love love!”

“We were figuring out when to meet up to take care of our eggs.”

“So a date?” Foolish asked. Him and Baghera high-fived when Phil sighed.

“Not a date, it's literally just for a project.”

“Sounds like a date to me,” Jaiden said, shrugging off Phil’s noises of shock.

Phil said. “He’s a member of Soulfire!”

Jaiden, Baghera, Slime and Foolish looked around. “He’s not Bad right?”

“...well no–”

“Then there’s no issue!” Baghera said excitedly. “Bad is who we hate, not the rest of soulfire right?”

“But they’re all friends with that muffin fucker!” Foolish yelled.

“Not all of them! Tina’s really ni–”

“No she’s not! She’s a vicious demon!” He yelled again, letting laughter emerge amongst the rest of the bolas group.

“Tina’s sweet, and besides even if you have some dislike for her because of some shit that happened in the past Niki is really nice, she tries to make up for the stuff Bad does.” Phil said.

“See, you're even defending some of Soulfire!” Baghera said. 

Phil was quiet when she pointed that out. “You’re all adhd but for some reason he managed to capture your attention— seems like there’s something there to me~”

“I’m leaving for university in three months. I’m getting out of my parents house and—“

“We’re all going to crash at your place for sleepovers!” Foolish interrupted.

“I will be in a dorm room, those things are tiny.”

“Foolish he’s changing the subject! Dumbass!” Jaiden yelled.

“Oh right-“

“Alright.” Cellbit stood up. “Fuck off, give him space.” He kicked Slime out of his seat next to Phil and shooed the others away. 

Slime started a fight with Jaiden which promptly distracted them.

“I get your hesitation about opening up to a member of soulfire. Trust is hard for the two of us.” Phil let him keep talking. “I have no doubts that you can figure out a solution to this.”

“A solution to having a member of soulfire as my team?”

“Yes, Niki and Tina might be nice but not all of soulfire is like them.”

“Not all of them are as terrible as Bad.”

Cellbit sighed. “Would you rather me teasing you about a crush? I’m trying to help here—“

“I officially met him last period—“

“Officially? You’ve noticed him before?” 

“He’s a part of soulfire of course I noticed him. Missa’s the one always right next to Bad.”

Cellbit gave a small chuckle. “Well good news for you, he always seems terrified of Bad. Bad news though he’s close to Bad.”

“He’s not close to Bad. He defended me, you know? He stopped me from punching Bad in the mouth.”

“Don’t let a pretty boy distract you from your goal.”

“He’s not going to distract me. It's a school project, Cellbit.”

“I know, I just worry for you. You don’t talk about it when things bother you and it’s not healthy. Last time you punched Etoiles so hard he had a black eye.”

“Etoiles can take it.” Phil said, looking at the floor. He still felt bad about it despite Etoiles saying he deserved it.

“We aren’t punching bags Phil. We’re human too. We all need to be vulnerable at times. I’m here for you.”

“I know mate.”

“Keep your guard up but don’t be afraid to be yourself.”

“Ok, yeah. Advice time over, fuck off now.”

Cellbit laughed and quickly managed to distract Jaiden.

Missa: Where do you want to meet up tonight?

Phil: yk the park between school and the mall?

Missa: the one with the big skatepark? My friend skates there

Phil: yeah that one. You wanna meet up there?

Missa: that’s great I live about a five minute walk from there

Phil: oh cool!

Missa: you want to walk there together? We could drop our bags off at my house before heading to the park.

Phil: I’m giving my friends a ride back to their place first sorry

Missa: its not an issue haha

Phil: so meet you there at like 5?

Missa: yep!

Phil: see you then

Phil thought about what Baghera and Cellbit said. They were joking about him having a crush on Missa, right? Cellbit did call him a pretty boy and that’s true. Missa was pretty but he could say that without having a crush. 

The project was the first time he had a full conversation with him. And Phil was only interested because he needed to get things done. Missa was cool, from what Phil knew of him but he was still a part of soulfire. Cell was right about one thing though, Missa is friends with stupid ass Badboyhalo.

And Bad was not someone you just became friends with. Maybe when they were younger but now? Now Bad became friends with people because of how they could help him. If Missa was Bad’s friend that meant that Missa wasn’t as sweet as he looked.

[isekai-crow]

Mashle 2 Episode 2

Other Episodes-> ep1 ep3 ep4 ep5

This episode was a riot. It was so much fun.

SO many random HP easter eggs and we get some new fun characters!!

Specifically, Margarette Macaron!!

I love them. Non-binary, music magic, and a love of tartar sauce (and a motorcycle in the ending credits!). (It me? maybe.) Despite seeming like an overused Okama-trope, I have hope based on the spoilers I went searching for. I'm so hype for more of them in the next episode.

VA Squee: They're voiced by Koyasu, Takehito!!! The voice of Dio Brando! Touji Fushiguro! Faust VIII from Shaman King! and Clayman from TenSura!!! A very masculine voice that can also take on feminine tones and a perfect fit for Margarette. Manga Spoiler: I wonder if they'll have another va...

Ep 2 Spoilers Under the Cut! Warning IT'S SO LONG THERE'S SO MUCH.

We open in the middle of the decision to execute Mash or not, and Dumbledore, Harry, and Draco having a stand off lmao

We learn that Whalberg/Dumbledore is a famous wizard because he fought with Innocent Zero in his youth.

Does this mean the shadowed Innocent Zero who was called father by Cell War is the equivalent of Grindelwald, and Evil Jesus(Cell War (or cell wall if you wanna be a pun) is Voldemort? (Also is it father or Father lololol)

ALSO, ARE ALL THESE NAMES FROM A RNG OR PUNS CAUSE I CAN'T TELL YET lmao

We get a little speech from Wahlberg reminiscent of one of Dumbledore's speeches, but more importantly, WHAT IS THE SIGNIFICANCE OF RAYNE ALSO BOWING???

Also his protecting the headmaster is a cute touch

I get that he is one of the Divine Visionaries, but is he more important than the others? He's still a student, wait, HOW DO STUDENTS HAVE THIS MUCH POWER IN THE GOVERNMENT?? NO WONDER ITS FUCKED UP??? Did I miss something??? (His reasoning for not wanting Mash dead also being the flashback to Rayne thanking him for taking care of his little brother?)

And of course Mashle can't be executed, so they set they give him a task to delay his sentencing...

The original goal Mash had in the first place, so ABSOLUTELY NOTHING HAS CHANGED.

Them backing the fuck up as Mash punches the floor is fricken hilarious. The best parts though...

1) Innocent Pero / Innocent Gyro - Thats a great subtitle translation choice, because they can't do a straight translation. Mash calls them Innocent Pero, with pero being the onomatopoeia for LICKING something in Japanese (WHATS THAT IMPLYING :EYES:), so Innocent Gyro is a good choice XD

and 2) the scene cuts to the bad guy's lair... which also seems to be shaking...

(I went and installed a gif maker for this >.>)

DON'T TELL ME. IS THE CHAMBER OF SECRETS UNDER THE BUREAU OF MAGIC????? (This is my theory and I'm sticking to it. Season 1 semi-stuck with random Philosopher's Stone plot points and the secret rooms, so it can be a semi-safe bet that season 2 might follow Chamber of Secrets?)

We then jump to an outing at the near by town to celebrate Mash Avoiding Death.

↓ ↓ ↓ ↓ The normal one ↓ ↓ ↓ ↓

Finn is the only actual normal one, WITH STYLE AT THAT, and I love him for it. (However he might also be the target of a Brother Complex and end up on the receiving end if Rayne can get over himself>o>)

The fucking Koalas...

What The Fuck Lmfao. That's all I have to say (but also this is a common gag for Japanese comedians and high school boys so... Still WTF. (This had my Beetle killing himself with laughter))

3 Wizards and a Macho walk into a wand shop and...

And the Macho is the one to get a wand. I'm so fascinated by this. How much damage is this thing going to do when Mash finally yeets it at someone???

The entire second half episode is so cute. Mash is so happy to have friends... I'm so happy for him....

But Also. Poor Finn. Look at these Freaks (affectionate).

YOU'RE ONE TO TALK. But Also Poor Finn.

The last bit. Our introduction to Margarette Macaron.

The fucking... shrimp.

Literally

It took Too Much Time for my ace-ass to realize they're THRUSTING the shrimp into the tartar sauce.

I love them? I love tartar sauce too. It's delicious.

They are so over the top. I love everything about them.

I've added too many photos to this post and tumblr is yelling at me.

So I will leave off with my hype for Rayne vs Margarette in the next episode!!!

↑↑↑↑Imagine me making this same face in anticipation↑↑↑↑

[nestaismommy]

https://at.tumblr.com/feyreselain/youre-not-happy-with-the-way-the-ic-handled/dlytzgax3tch

Have you seen ^ that load of bs lol?

It’s definitely bullshit.

Not because Nesta lived, doesn’t mean the inner circle cared.

Let’s see….

Feyre said carefully, “For what it’s worth, I was hoping you’d turn yourself around. I wanted to give you space to do it, since you seem to lash out at everyone who comes close enough, but you didn’t even try.”

I had someone close to me, tell me that I’m not trying to get over my trauma, and let me tell you something. It is so fucking insensitive. You can’t just get over it. It can take years to move past traumatic events and heal from them. It is a long journey. And it’s a process. Nesta was coping. It is so hard to even get out of bed when you’re suffering. You’re just trying to survive. And then someone tells you that you aren’t even trying. If Nesta told Feyre she wasn’t even “trying” when Feyre was still traumatized from under the mountain, Feyre would’ve cried or some shit.

“You spent five hundred gold marks last night!” Feyre exploded, shooting to her feet to pace in front of the hearth. “Do you know how much money that is? Do you know how embarrassed I was when we got the bill this morning and my friends—my family—had to hear all about it?”

That’s what you care about Feyre? The money that isn’t even yours? Don’t you live off his money too? You’re embarrassed?

Oh please, get over it. Go cry over your scrambled eggs or something. Last I checked, he didn’t even earn the money. He’s just rich and he could’ve easily cut her off.

“It is about how it reflects upon me, upon Rhys, and upon my court when my damned sister spends our money on wine and gambling and does nothing to contribute to this city! If my sister cannot be controlled, then why should we have the right to rule over anyone else?”

Does nothing to contribute to this city? Bitch she literally fought in the war ☠️

Clearly she’s more worried about her title, than Nesta’s trauma.

“I am not a thing to be controlled by you,” Nesta said icily. Everything in her life, from the moment she was born, had been controlled by other people. Things happened to her; anytime she tried to exert control, she’d been thwarted at every turn—and she hated that even more than the King of Hybern.

Do you know how fucking sad this is? She’s always been controlled. Imagine how triggering this is considering her mother and grandmother did the same thing. They controlled her too. Now it’s her sister.

“That’s why you’re going to train at Windhaven. You will learn to control yourself.”

“I won’t go.”

“You’re going, even if you have to be tied up and hauled there.”

Is this what you call helping? Making Nesta train in Windhaven with Illyrians who literally hate women and SA them.

Not as her sister said, “I’m having that entire building condemned.”

“You wouldn’t dare.”

“It’s done. Rhys already visited the landlord. It will be torn down and rebuilt as a shelter for families still displaced by the war.”

Nesta tried to master her uneven breathing. One of the few choices she’d made for herself, stripped away. Feyre didn’t seem to care. Feyre had always been her own master. Always got whatever she wished. And now, it seemed, Feyre would be granted this wish, too.

Destroying Nesta’s home. One of the few chooses she’d made for herself, stripped away.

Feyre didn’t seem to care. Always got whatever she wished.

“You go back to the human lands.”

Amren had suggested a few days in a dungeon in the Hewn City, but Feyre had simply said that the human world would be more than enough of a prison for someone like Nesta.

This?? What the fuck? Dungeon? There’s no way you’re gonna sit there and tell me these people care for her. Care my ass.

The fact that Feyre said the human world because it would be a prison to Nesta.

Yeah as I said, they weren’t trying to help her and they never cared. Think what you want to think but I’m just stating the obvious.

[qu1cks1lversb1tch]

Aw those best friend hcs were fun! Can you do everyone else at the hotel? Especially Vaggie?

A/N: I absolutely can! I'll make a part 3 or edit this one if I somehow forget someone (it could happen). This is quite the little grouping 🤣 I hope you like it!

Having them as best friend's part two:

Includes: Vaggie, Sir Pentious, Niffty, and Cherri Bomb.

Part One

Vaggie

Her deal is tough love.

As her best friend, you're used to being called an idiot half a dozen times a day.

You'll just be chilling after making some decision or saying something and she'll be like: "Not only are you blind, you're fucking stupid too!" But it wouldn't hold any malice

She's never really been one for gossip, but you can bet that she'll listen to how your day was.

Definitely the friend who would interrogate anyone you show interest in.

If someone says something out of line about you, she's putting them in their place before you can open your mouth to defend yourself.

Vaggie isn't very touchy, but she'll hug you sometimes. Especially if it was something like after the battle and she was just happy you were alive.

She's almost always there to ward off the bad.

Sleepovers! They're never her idea, but she can't say no when you give her those puppy dog eyes.

Really, she's always there for you, but with a sibling dynamic that makes some question if the two of you really tolerate each other at all. You do, but barely lmao.

Sir Pentious

He's a drama king. Sweet, but definitely dramatic.

100% the friend to hold your drink at a party. . . Because he's HOLDING EVERYONE'S DRINK!

If you had to go anywhere, he's sending the Egg Bois with you. They call you 'not master' and it's the cutest thing ever.

Sleepovers would be his idea, no doubt. An offer that couldn't be refused.

He calmly interrogates any potential suitors of yours, and if they seem fine, he might let them go on a date with you.

Will literally cry if you call someone else your best friend. Friend's are okay. But if you called Angel Dust or Charlie your best friend? Immediate tears. "But. . . I thought I wasss your besssst friend." Apologize, right now.

Gives you some new weaponized invention and your favorite Hellish sweet treat every year on your 'death day'. He takes it very seriously.

He's all for the tea, but only if there's 100% truth behind it. Like you witnessed the HOTTEST tea of the month and just went 'Sir P NEEDS to know'.

Everyone mistakes the calmness and caring nature of Sir Pentious as having feelings for you. Common misconception. That's just your slithery best friend.

Y'all take naps together at random because you can. And naps are life.

Niffty

You're almost as chaotic as she is, but you're better at hiding it. Sorry not sorry.

Because of her, everything you own is cleaner than when you got it and you found it disturbing at first, but eventually got used to it.

She climbs you like a tree and uses you to see better in large crowds.

She talks so fast half the time you could barely understand her until it clicked and you could reply.

She's very knife happy. Someone breaks your heart? "STAB! STAB! STAB!" Followed by maniacal giggles and her footsteps down the hall.

She tries new recipes and uses you as the taste tester to see if the others would enjoy it. The answer is usually yes.

Niffty is super blunt. She won't hold back a single thought, even if it could potentially hurt your feelings.

She rarely takes breaks, but when she does, her small frame is usually beside you, watching TV or relaying the latest drama she heard on the streets.

She's a good listener, but once again, she's also blunt.

Every picture of the two of you, she has that same far away look in her eye. Every. Single. One.

Cherri Bomb

She's a bad influence, that much is certain, but no amount of peer pressure could get you to do something you didn't want to do. That's why you're best friends.

She loves partying and dragging you out, but most nights, you stay in, which then in a way, forces her to stay in too.

"[Y/N/N], you bitch, why aren't you dressed? I thought we were going out tonight!" No. No you weren't.

She encourages you to step out of your comfort zone 24/7, because you're in Hell and it could only get so much worse.

She listens, but doesn't really pay attention all that much. There's almost always something else on her mind, but she makes it up to you somehow.

She'd probably push you down the stairs for fun if she felt like it.

Most likely to sing karaoke with you, absolutely plastered in a bar somewhere on the outskirts of the Pride Ring.

If you handed your cup to her to go to the bathroom, she'd probably misunderstand and drink it.

Glares at anyone who looks in your direction, purely because she doesn't trust very many at all.

Would reluctantly agree to a sleepover if you asked, just because you're her main bitch.

[mamirhodessxox]

Cody Rhodes Incorrect Quotes

❤️‼️❤️‼️❤️‼️❤️‼️❤️‼️❤️‼️❤️‼️❤️

Y/N: Cody, what does IDK, ILY, and TTYL mean?

Cody: I don’t know, I love you, talk to you later.

Y/N: Alright, I love you too, I'll ask Roman.

Cody: Wait- Y/N, no-

❤️‼️❤️‼️❤️‼️❤️‼️❤️‼️❤️‼️❤️‼️❤️

Rhea: *spits mouthful of blood onto floor* You’ve become far more powerful since we last crossed paths.

Cody: Please stop, there’s literally a sink right next to you.

❤️‼️❤️‼️❤️‼️❤️‼️❤️‼️❤️‼️❤️‼️❤️

Y/N: This is a bad idea.

Cody: Then why are you coming along?

Y/N: Someone has to get your injured ass home.

❤️‼️❤️‼️❤️‼️❤️‼️❤️‼️❤️‼️❤️‼️❤️

Cody: I love making parties more interesting by telling strangers “I want you to know that I personally have no problem with you being here.”

❤️‼️❤️‼️❤️‼️❤️‼️❤️‼️❤️‼️❤️‼️❤️

Dom: I spy with my little eye something that begins with the letter “s”.

Jey: *looks over at Cody and Y/N*

Jey: Is it “sexual tension”?

❤️‼️❤️‼️❤️‼️❤️‼️❤️‼️❤️‼️❤️‼️❤️

Dom: Stay foxy.

Rhea: Die lonely.

❤️‼️❤️‼️❤️‼️❤️‼️❤️‼️❤️‼️❤️‼️❤️

Rhea: I like your top, Y/N!

Cody: I have a name, you know.

Y/N: *sighs* Why. Why are you like this.

❤️‼️❤️‼️❤️‼️❤️‼️❤️‼️❤️‼️❤️‼️❤️

Y/N: Sorry I’m late, I was doing things.

Cody: Hi, I’m ‘things’.

❤️‼️❤️‼️❤️‼️❤️‼️❤️‼️❤️‼️❤️‼️❤️

Dom: That’s illegal, right?

Rhea: Why do you care? Are you a fucking cop?

Dom: No-

Rhea: Then shut the fuck up.

❤️‼️❤️‼️❤️‼️❤️‼️❤️‼️❤️‼️❤️‼️❤️

*Everyone is standing around the broken coffee maker*

Rhea: So. Who broke it? I'm not mad, I just wanna know.

Everyone:

Roman: ...I did. I broke it.

Rhea: No. No you didn't. Dom?

Dom: Don't look at me. Look at Y/N.

Y/N: What?! I didn't break it.

Dom: Huh, that's weird. How'd you even know it was broken?

Y/N: Because it's sitting right in front of us and it's broken.

Dom: Suspicious.

Y/N: No, it's not!

Cody: If it matters, probably not, but Jey was the last one to use it.

Jey: Liar! I don't even drink that crap!

Cody: Oh really? Then what were you doing by the coffee cart earlier?

Jey: I use the wooden stirrers to push back my cuticles. Everyone knows that, Cody!

Roman: Okay let's not fight. I broke it. Let me pay for it, Rhea.

Rhea: No! Who broke it!? <br <b="">Everyone:

Cody: Rhea... Dom's been awfully quiet.

Dom: rEALLY?!

*Everyone starts arguing*

Rhea, being interviewed: I broke it. I burned my hand so I punched it.

Rhea: I predict 10 minutes from now they'll be at each other's throats with warpaint on their faces and a pig head on a stick.

Rhea:

Rhea: Good. It was getting a little chummy around here.

❤️‼️❤️‼️❤️‼️❤️‼️❤️‼️❤️‼️❤️‼️❤️

Cody: Hey, do you know the password to Y/N’s computer?

Dom: Fuck you, Cody.

Cody: Hey!!

Dom: No, you misunderstood, the password is "fuckyouCody".

Cody: Oh, no numbers? Not very safe.

❤️‼️❤️‼️❤️‼️❤️‼️❤️‼️❤️‼️❤️‼️❤️

Cody: Wakey Wakey Eggs and Bakey!

Y/N: But I'm a vegan.

Cody: Wakey Wakey Vegetables and Sadness.

❤️‼️❤️‼️❤️‼️❤️‼️❤️‼️❤️‼️❤️‼️❤️

Rhea: My aesthetic is "would be suspected of witchcraft by small town citizens."

❤️‼️❤️‼️❤️‼️❤️‼️❤️‼️❤️‼️❤️‼️❤️

Cody, to Y/N: Look at you! All cute and small! I could just eat you up!

Y/N: *proceeds to kick them in the shin and run away*

Rhea, walking past: Rule number 1, don't call Y/N cute or small.

❤️‼️❤️‼️❤️‼️❤️‼️❤️‼️❤️‼️❤️‼️❤️

Jey, trying their first ever cup of coffee: I am ENERGY!

Cody, an avid coffee drinker, on their twelfth cup of the day: Someone slap me awake or I am literally going to fall into a coma in ten seconds.

❤️‼️❤️‼️❤️‼️❤️‼️❤️‼️❤️‼️❤️‼️❤️

Cody: I would let you ruin my life.

Y/N: Sorry, I’m busy ruining my own. You’ll have to wait.

❤️‼️❤️‼️❤️‼️❤️‼️❤️‼️❤️‼️❤️‼️❤️

Roman: Hey, Cody, do you have feelings for me?

Cody: Yeah, anger.

❤️‼️❤️‼️❤️‼️❤️‼️❤️‼️❤️‼️❤️‼️❤️

Cody, gently nudging Roman aside with their foot: Roman, move out of the way so I don’t trip on you.

Roman, their eyes enormous: You kick Roman? You kick their body like the football? Oh! Oh! Jail for Cody! Jail for Cody for one thousand years!

❤️‼️❤️‼️❤️‼️❤️‼️❤️‼️❤️‼️❤️‼️❤️

xtripleiiix’s masterlist

🏷️ list: @ginswife @coolpastelartshoe @greatkoalawizard @cokolin044 @kotoriarlert @alicerosejensen @bunnybot55 @agent-dessis-posts @adollonyourshelf @puppy-princ3ss @valkyrurr