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reginarubie · 2 years

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"I used to start fires in the bowels of Casterly Rock and stare at the flames for hours, pretending they were dragonfire. Sometimes I'd imagine my father burning. At other times, my sister."- Tyrion(AGOT II). "Cersei thought of all the King's Hands that she had known through the years: Owen Merryweather, Jon Connington, Qarlton Chelsted, Jon Arryn, Eddard Stark, her brother Tyrion. And her father, Lord Tywin Lannister, her father most of all. All of them are burning now."-Cersei(AFFC). Similar.

Ciao anon!,

cool parallel between Tyrion and Cersei. I swear the only one not obsessed with fire in that family is Jaime and that is because he has seen first hand people — innocent people — being burned alive. And despite it all he is more sensible than his other siblings combined, despite all of his flaws.

What I find really interesting, especially since they had showCersei blowing up the Great Sept of Baelor (which we know will happen as Sansa herself has wished it burned down after Ned's head has been taken at its dais — and we know that Sansa's prayers and wishes become true) is the fact that in this parallel Tyrion speaks of the bowels of Casterly Rock, and the stashes of wildfire are all scattered around the underground and bowels of Kings Landing.

I was pretty convinced that Jon C. and Daenerys might be the two to start the fire that would lead to the destruction of Kings Landing and to ignite the stashes of wildfire underneath the city as she and Aegon fight over the city, thus also destroying the Great Sept of Baelor, thought at this point I ask myself if it is not possible that Cersei might be the one to blow up the sept to avoid being put under trial indeed, or for whatever other reason, even only trying to stop the city from being taken when she sees she is on the loosing side. After all now Kevan is dead, Pycelle is dead and Tommen is but a boy; Aegon is in the Stormlands and has taken Storm's End (I'm not gonna gush about Elia Martell's son — because I believe he is the real deal — sitting as lord of Storm's End by right of conquest and meeting his cousin Arianne there — okay yes I am, but I am digressing) and will most probably very soon start his conquering campaign on Kings Landing while Daenerys is still east so it's more probable that Cersei might have a stare-off with Aegon for the capital and maybe she'll try the Aerys' way out of that one, by igniting the stashes of wildfire but failing but for the sept which would go up in flames?, or she'll blow it up to avoid her trial and take down the Sparrows? Mmmh... so many questions...

...Also for anyone thinking Tyrion wants to build a better world with Daenerys and will guide her better than her current advisors teaching her to control her worst impulses and make diplomacy work... yeah re-read this passage:

I used to start fires in the bowels of Casterly Rock and stare at the flames for hours, pretending they were dragonfire. Sometimes I'd imagine my father burning. At other times, my sister. — Tyrion II, AGOT

I mean Martin told us from book 1, first few chapter by Tyrion's POV that Tyrion is a villain meant to find his way to Daenerys who — would you look at that? — has three dragons whose fire she uses to destroy the opposition and conquer cities (just look at Astapor) and what did he do as a kid?, he would start fires in the bowels of his own home and pretend they were dragonfires he would use to burn his father and his sister. His father he has already killed, and his vengeance has now turned on his sister. To destroy his sister Tyrion will do everything in his power and he just now is reaching a woman who commands three a dragons and is not shy about using them and their destructive power. Tyrion will give her the last push she did not need.

Cersei associates death with fire, the death of her enemies and her death. It wouldn't surprise me if in a desperate move she ended up managing what Jaime stopped Aerys from doing when the rebelling troops entered Kings Landing to pillage it. That coupled with ‘His sister liked to think of herself as Lord Tywin with teats, but she was wrong. Their father had been as relentless and implacable as a glacier, where Cersei was all wildfire, especially when thwarted.’ — Jaime II, AFFC yeah it doesn't bode well for KL at all, even if in a cruel twist of fate she ends up being able only to ignite under the sept.

"You need a strong Hand to help you."

"A weak ruler needs a strong Hand, as Aerys needed Father. A strong ruler requires only a diligent servant to carry out his orders." She swirled her wine. "Lord Hallyne might suit. He would not be the first pyromancer to serve as the King's Hand." — Jaime II, AFFC

If the twins were Aerys' children @sansaissteel this sentence would be the sheer irony and I would here for it! We missed this possible clue in our previous research!

Jaime knew the look in his sister's eyes. He had seen it before, most recently on the night of Tommen's wedding, when she burned the Tower of the Hand. The green light of the wildfire had bathed the face of the watchers, so they looked like nothing so much as rotting corpses, a pack of gleeful ghouls, but some of the corpses were prettier than others. Even in the baleful glow, Cersei had been beautiful to look upon. She'd stood with one hand on her breast, her lips parted, her green eyes shining. She is crying, Jaime had realized, but whether it was from grief or ecstasy he could not have said.

The sight had filled him with disquiet, reminding him of Aerys Targaryen and the way a burning would arouse him. — Jaime III, AFFC

Is it possible the tower of the Hand is the only place Cersei will manage to successfully burn and Tyrion will give a nudge in the wrong direction to Daenerys and cause the rest of the damage?, or Cersei will do that on her own to avoid loosing the city or winning in the end by delivering to her enemies a city made of corpses, burned and charred bones and destroyed buildings?

Or will all of this teasing be for nothing but to give one last twist and have Cersei have nothing to do with the burning of Kings Landing and leave that to Jon C. and Daenerys?

So many possibilities!, which one do you think the most probable, anon?

As always, thank you for your ask!, hope you have a very nice day!

#ask the hag #anon asks #Cersei Lannister and Tyrion Lannister #Tyrion with dragon fire #Cersei with wildfire

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masterjedilenawrites · 3 years

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What clone boys (+ the bad batch boys) looking for in their s/o? What is their ideal s/o?

Well, I kinda sorta went nuts with this question and got just a liiiitle carried away... oops...

Cody would be impressed by someone who could take charge of a messy situation or unruly group of people. He'd like someone who is independent and self-sufficient; he recognizes he may not always be there for them and wants to know they can take care of themselves. When he is around, he wants them to feel like a team, partners who are in sync, share the same goals, and make up for what the other lacks. He is attracted to good leadership skills, but turned off by cockiness.

Rex needs someone he can walk through life with side-by-side as equals, no exhausting power dynamics. He'd like someone who is dedicated to their beliefs and goals, but also someone who knows how to let loose and have a bit of (responsible) fun. He wants to know he can be himself around them, whether it's having an honest, soul-baring conversation or just acting really silly for no reason than because they can. He is attracted to good-humored attitudes, but turned off by shallow-ness.

Wolffe would be into someone with style and sass, someone who isn't afraid to speak their mind or stand up for what's right. He'd like someone who is fearless and passionate, but also full of hope, who will meet his glass-half-empty attitude with unwavering and inspiring optimism. He may butt heads with his S/O from time to time, but they keep him honest and he does appreciate them for it, even if he looks unamused. He is attracted to wit, but turned off by self-centeredness.

Fox likes someone who is warm and friendly, someone who embodies the spirit of the word home. They would need to be dependable, loyal, and a real sweetheart. He is a true romantic at heart and would continue to "woo" his S/O even after they got together, so they would need to be appreciative of such gestures. After a tough day or mission, he'd rather go home to someone who can help him relax and maybe laugh a little. He is attracted to stability, but turned off by laziness.

Fives would fall for someone with a zest for life and a great sense of humor. They don't need to be chipper all the time; in fact, he appreciates someone who takes things seriously and who will fight for what is right, even when it's hard. But he also needs someone he can have fun with, who can find the joy in any situation, and maybe even get into a bit of innocent trouble from time to time. They would be his best friend. His other half. He is attracted to liveliness but turned off by ditziness.

Jesse is drawn to the sweet, innocent types, someone who would get flustered by his flirting in the cutest of ways. He likes the feeling of being depended on and would take that duty very seriously. He's secretly a sensitive guy and would need someone he feels safe with, who would listen to his feelings without judgment and encourage him to be the best he can be. He really doesn't want to argue with his S/O. He is attracted to pretty smiles and turned off by stubbornness.

Kix admires someone who isn't afraid of honest, hard work, who will not hesitate to roll up their sleeves and do what is needed. But he'd also like someone with a flirty side, who could really surprise him and keep his days interesting. It's important to him that his S/O gets along with his brothers in the 501st, even allowing their free time to be spent with the battalion. He is a family-oriented guy and would need his partner to be, too. He is attracted to spontaneity, but turned off by recklessness.

Tup would like to be with someone who is more reserved, who can be a constant and steady presence in his life without being overwhelming or controlling. He is a bit withdrawn and struggles to feel understood sometimes, so he'd need someone who is patient with him, and comfortable with a less-intimate relationship. He'd be intrigued by someone creative or artistic, as well, and would be their biggest fan. He is attracted to gentleness and turned off by impulsiveness.

Hardcase would dig someone who can keep up with him, someone who is vibrant and always ready for an adventure. He wouldn't mind if they were chaotic or didn't have their life figured out; they could grow and learn together. When others try to hold him back, his S/O would encourage him to keep pushing; they'd be his cheerleader, and he'd be theirs. He finds it really sexy when someone puts themselves out there, both physically and emotionally. He is attracted to spunk and turned off by passiveness.

Dogma prefers someone who is rational and level-headed, maybe a little book-smart or nerdy. He wants to be able to have interesting and meaningful conversations with someone, about anything and everything. He likes someone who takes on quiet responsibilities, not needing to be seen in order to help. He also likes a level of tenderness; nothing too flirty or passionate, just simple and caring. He is attracted to humility and turned off by emotional reactions.

Echo has a soft spot for someone who is charismatic but compassionate, someone who uses their people-driven attitude to be hospitable and generous. He'd like to be with someone who's a little more outgoing than him, but not someone he'd have to keep up with. They would need to be polite and thoughtful, and always willing to communicate, even when it's awkward. He would want to share everything with them. He is attracted to candor but turned off by demanding attitudes.

Hunter wants someone who is easygoing and laid-back, who is uncomplicated and doesn't get caught up in drama or chaos. Someone who makes it clear what they think and what they want, rather than withdrawing or leaving him to make his own assumptions. They would be easy to be in a relationship with. But he does enjoy a good adventure, so it's important that they are active in that regard, too. He is attracted to wholesomeness and turned off by high-maintenance personalities.

Wrecker would be smitten with someone who meets his strength and brutality with softness and gentleness, who is a good balance for his rather intense way of living. They can't be timid in any way, though, because he'll challenge them to try new things. As long as they're a good sport, even if they're out of their element, he'll be very happy. They'd need to have a nice laugh, too, and he'd make it his personal mission every day to hear it. He is attracted to femininity and turned off by cowardliness.

Crosshair is interested in someone who lives their life honestly and sincerely, who is deeply kind but won't let themselves be walked over. Someone who accepts him for who he is but also challenges him when he's being too stubborn or unfair. They would be his rock in life, a person he will always seek out to have by his side. Their maturity puts him at ease and he never has to worry about them or doubt his worth in their eyes. He is attracted to confidence but turned off by popularity.

Tech would fancy someone who looks at the world with wide eyes, who asks questions and listens with their whole heart. They do not need to be super smart or an academic, but they do need to have curiosity and passion. He'd bond with someone over shared interests, but would be equally thrilled to learn something new from someone knowledgeable in other areas. Looks would hardly matter to him; it's their mind he'd fall in love with. He is attracted to talent and turned off by apathy.

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sparkbeast20 · 3 years

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You're my Treasure (Mammon X MC) Pt5

The Blue Lotus petals (series)

As a fan of Beauty X Beast pairing, Showing your “true self” to Lover or (Monster Love) Tropes. I figure to make a (More Demonic Forms AU/head canon) story for each brothers. heads up each brother’s Story is long as fuck. So, I’ll be posting them as parts and finishing one brother before moving on to the rest of them.

(spoiler for lesson 1-60)

Pt1 Pt2 Pt3 Pt4

Warning: Swearing, Demonic nature, mention of Pain, Vomiting, Attempted Murder

Previously

He let go of his lips and stare at himself in the mirror.

“What the hell is happening to me?”

“You know, you kinda look cute with longer hair” you cooed Mammon playing with his hair which gotten longer, while his playing poker on his D.D.D

“Really Asmo hate it, he said I look like a banshee” he turns off his D.D.D and turn around to look at you.

“Hey! Asmo might be the demon with the eye in beauty. But you’re dating me and…… I kinda have a thing for dudes you long hair”

“Oh, if that so, Maybe I’ll keep this~” he slowly lean closer about to kiss you when you two hear a police whistle and froze in mid kiss.

“PDA officer, you’re under arrest for violating probation, after your incident of two week ago” Levi announcing himself with one hand rise up halt and the other holding a whistle near he’s mouth.

“Tch, oh please I can do what I want with y/n when no one’s home, you can’t just~”

“Y/n!” Luke voice startle you and Mammon, causing you to push him off of you.

“Hi Luke” Luke walks in, saw you and rush over for a hug, while Mammon quickly got on his feet and fix himself and smile to Luke like, he didn’t try to do something naughty.

“Eh? What were you two doing a moment ago?”

“Nothing!” you two screams in unions, just make the little angel more confuse, while in the background Levi glare at Mammon, Lucifer facepalm, Simeon smile, and Solomon chuckles behind his hand.

“While you two are doing “nothing” Lord Diavolo call to Summon all seven of us to the castle at once” Lucifer broke the awkward silent.

“Eh? Why are the angels and Shady here” Mammon asks?

“They’re here to accompany y/n while we're at the castle”

“Lucifer is it necessary, I’ll be okay alone in the house and I don’t want to trouble the three”

“Nonsense” Solomon spoke while walking over to you “we are more then happy staying with you here, beside this is a perfect opportunity to practices some defensive spells”

As Solomon and you are talking, Mammon notice something isn’t right, he glazes over to Lucifer and Simeon who are whispering at each other.

Once every brother gathers at the front door, that when stood up from the couch where you two are sitting.

“Hey” he calls to you and look back “Are ya sure you’ll be, okay? Maybe I can ask Lucifer for me to stay~” he was cut off, by you kissing him on the lips and hug him tightly.

“I’ll be okay, beside I don’t think that Lucifer will let you skip this one” you look at him with eye of caring. He quickly kisses the top of your head and hug you tighter. Then he hears a voice.

Don’t leave them!

Startle he look around the room to see where the voice came from.

“What’s wrong?”

“N-nothing” as he said it, you can feel his hold on you gotten tighter.

“Mammon! Let’s go” Asmo calls him to the front door.

“Be back soon kay’” with one final kiss on the top of your head, he let’s go and start walking to the door.

“What took you so long” Satan asks as he got there.

“I was hugging y/n….” Mammon trail off for a moment “Lucifer, do I have to go with you guys. I don’t want to trouble Simeon and Solomon~”

“Lord Diavolo called for all of us to came to the castle. I don’t want to hear anymore complaining from any of us. Especially you Mammon. End of discussion” Lucifer stern voice, silent the rest of the brothers.

He opens the door and when out first, follow by Satan, Asmo, and Belphie. While Levi and Beel look over to Mammon who has an angry look on his face, before following the rest out.

Mammon standing there think about how Lucifer always single him out all the time. Does Lucifer see him as a failure because of the casino incident or is it he and the rest of his brothers see him as nothing more than a scumbag and a joke. All then negative think he been hold back final spirally in his head. Which didn’t happen back then it’s not like his brothers never get the same treatment. But something about how sees Lucifer right now kinda piss him off.

He stomps his way out and close the door behind him. And process to the follow his brother from afar on their way to the castle.

“He’s loose!” Shock to what he just heard. Mammon can’t believe it,

“He tries to kill y/n two weeks ago.”

“I understand your upset Mammon, but we are doing all we can to find Basto as we speak. But that demon has powerful connection So, is going to be difficult to track him and~”

“KILL HIM!” he cuts Barbatos off, with a deeper voice. While Lucifer is at his last patients with Mammon right now.

“Mammon! Control your tone~”

“NO!! I will not control my “TONE” when there’s a demon out there ready to attack me or y/n because of my irresponsibility. I should be with my mate right! But NO. you knew and you didn’t told me or the rest of us” Mammon is fuming. He storm off out of the throne room as the brothers watches and Lucifer frustrated.

“Apologies Lord Diavolo, I’ll remain my brother to control his temper”

“No need Lucifer, I understand Mammon distress. But I want to help him right now, I’m not why but you must not let his anger over come him” with that Lucifer bows and processed to go after Mammon with rest of the brothers follow suit leaving the castle.

“Mammon! Stop” Lucifer calls out to his brother; however, Mammon keep on going straight home not paying attention to Lucifer or others calling him.

Until Levi rushes forward standing Infront of Mammon’s tracks. “Mammon please come down” but he just walks around him, then Levi grabs his wrist, stop Mammon for a moment.

“L-listen y/n is safe the reason, Lucifer didn’t tell us is because of this~” But Mammon looks back at his younger brother with disgusts causing Levi to flinch.

“Are You for Real. Levi!! You’re taking his SIDE” he pulls his hand out of Levi’s grasp turn to face Levi with his entire body tense up, as he stomps closer to Levi get to his personal step. As the others final catch, up to them

“I-I’m not taking anyone’s side” Levi is stuttering, really think hard not to say the wrong word.

“Why is it when Lucifer made a mistake or not tell us something you just go along withed”

“It’s not like that. P-please Mammon!” Levi is pleading to his brother right now. Something about Mammon’s emotional outburst at the castle doesn’t sit well him.

“Mammon be rational, will find that son of bitch and kill him. But we can’t act like this” Satan interject, as Beel and Asmo walk closer to Mammon slowly.

“I wouldn’t act like this if Lucifer told me, when the bastard got loose that day!” Mammon replied to Satan his voice is get louder and deeper.

“I didn’t tell you, for this exact reason. The moment you hear the news of Basto’s escape you got anger and emotional. And storm off out of the castle” Lucifer defended himself in a calm and collected tone which just made Mammon even more piss.

“Yeah, that’s you see me, that’s all of you see me. Nothing more of an impulsive and emotional one. NEWS FLASHS I wouldn't act like this. We're talking about Basto here the same demon I own money to. The same demon I been avoiding and hiding for years. The same demon who I know will do anything to get what he wants by using his contacts. AND THE SAME DEMON THAT TRY. NO! ALMOST KILL Y/N AT THE CASINO. The last thing I need to do is leave my mate alone in the house where he knows and can easily get to.”

“Mammon” Beel mumble his brother’s name. completely understanding were his coming from. As the others standing there in shock, as Mammon continue to rant or finally letting it all out.

“I’m sick and tired of all of you see me as useless. Not to mention the insults, after the shit that happen at the casino, I wanted to changes because I couldn't do anything to help…Hell saves y/n from Basto. But NO! Because our mighty older brother thinks I can’t be trusted with knowing my mate attempted murderer is loose in who’s nowhere”

“Mammon is isn’t like that, even if I told you and you did have had known. Its Basto were talking about, he won’t hesitate in kill y/n this time. What if Beel or I aren’t there~”

“I’m that weak!!” Lucifer, Satan and Belphie was startle. While Levi, Asmo and Beel took a step back and gasps at Mammon change in voice which gotten deeper and raspy and sclera of his eyes turns black with sapphire blue glowing iris.

“I will find him and kill him myself if the last thing I do” after saying all that turn heel and keep on walking.

“Mammon!” Lucifer calls to him, he pauses and his keep clenching and unclenching as Lucifer walk over to him “we won’t let anything happen to y/n~” a sharp cough cuts off Lucifer.

Mammon start couching violently causing him to cover his mouth and clinch his chest as he drops to his knees. The other saw and quickly rushes over, Beel and Satan kneel in each side with Belphie standing behind his twin while Levi, Asmo, and Lucifer stood Infront Mammon look down with fear and worry on their faces as they can only watch their brother keeps on coughing.

Mammon bend’s down place both hands on the ground. Then he starts to hurl, Asmo it and quickly look away and Levi covering his eyes. Lucifer just look on in horror.

Then Mammon start puking up blue ink-like substance. After a moment of panting Mammon look up to Lucifer before passing out. Satan and Beel quickly grab him by the arms and place them over their shoulder.

“Get him back to the house and into my room” Lucifer order Satan and Beel, who nod and carefully take their brother home with Levi and Asmo follow suit.

Belphie look on until he can’t see them anymore, then turn to look at Lucifer who is bend over to pool of blue substance. With the tip of his finger, he dips it and examine it, then it started to turn black.

“Is he?” Belphie asks Lucifer with a worry tone.

“We just have to keep an eye on him, what ever is happen is not good for us and y/n if my suspicion is correct.”

#obey me #obey me lucifer #obey me mammon #obey me leviathan #obey me satan #obey me asmodeus #obey me beelzebub #obey me belphegor #obey me diavolo #obey me barbatos #obey me reader x mammon #obey me monster love #obey me shall we date #obey me mc #obey me blue lotus petals

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ashintheairlikesnow · 3 years

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Intrinsic: Jameson in Therapy

Prompt from Anon: If you're still taking prompts... "Have you tried NOT doing that?"

CW: Noncon survivor discussing future consensual spice, Jameson’s masochism, frank references to noncon and pet whump, brief internal victim-blaming, world-building detail about WRU

Dr. Berger tucks a bit of graying hair behind one ear, smiling slightly at Jameson from her place in the soft armchair she uses during appointments. “Well,” She says, thoughtful, “have you tried not doing that?”

He looks up at her from where he sits curled up on the long sofa, knees to his chest, picking absently at loose threads across the knee of his baggy blue jeans. As always, she is careful not to let her eyes move to the places where hair is slowly growing back in over bald spots where the straps of a leather muzzle had rubbed, careful not to look at the scars he wears on every inch of exposed skin - she’d made the mistake of being caught looking, however briefly, and had discovered that the newest of her clients was deeply insecure about the visible evidence of his captivity.

She’d apologized, but it had taken time to develop enough trust to come back from her initial mistake. She would not jeopardize that now, after they’ve made so much progress and she’s begun to see a shift in how he talks about and relates to his new life, his world.

He even told her the name he chose for himself, and that he’s been telling the others in the house, one by one. Accepting that it won’t be taken from him like his original name was - that it belongs to him, and is his to share or not.

She would never, ever admit it, but... Jameson is one of her favorite clients to work with. He’s working so hard, every week that they meet he trusts more and more that the path he’s on is one that will move him forward.

“What?”

His voice is slightly rough - someone who has screamed enough to have permanent vocal chord damage, she thinks. She makes a note to speak to Jake Stanton about having a physician check on the potential for nodes or other issues that might pop up later. She’s not a medical doctor, but… well. She’s had a lot of clients with vocal chord damage in the sixteen years she’s been working in the pet lib movement, and you start to pick up on the little signs and symptoms they don’t necessarily declare out loud.

“My question is really just me being a little facetious, I won’t lie, but I do want to talk through the spirit of the question. When you mention feeling guilty that you are having a physical response to your housemate, that you are attracted to them and have been struggling with... well. I’d like to really dig in to where that guilt comes from. Now, I am aware that adjustment houses tend to discourage relationships between household members during their time in residence to cut down on the chance for conflict, but that’s not where your guilt lies, is it?”

He goes back to picking at the hole slowly wearing through his jeans. Dr. Berger waits, giving him the silence and time he needs to think his way through the question and the possible answers. After a long time, he says softly, “No. It’s not. I don’t give a fuck if Stanton wants me to hold somebody’s stupid hand or not.”

She has to force her smile not to widen, wondering if Jameson is aware of just how like Jakob Stanton he really is. No wonder they don’t always get along. “Okay. So can you talk to me about just what you sense of guilt, this worry you feel, is rooted in?”

She watches with some small surprise as the angry, defiant recovering Box Boy who has spoken frankly and openly to her about being maimed, injured, treated as an object, referred to as an animal... blushes.

“I want-... It’s not the, um, the response. That I hate.” He won’t look at her now, and he’s one who loves to stare her down whenever he thinks she’ll be shocked or disgusted by what he has to tell her. But this… this, he’s ashamed or embarrassed to say. “They’re fucking gorgeous, that’s... anybody would like them. It’s… it’s what I want from them that... scares me.”

“You are accustomed to a certain level of unwanted physical attention, it’s not at all uncommon in Romantic rescues to continue to feel sexual attraction and desire after freedom-”

“No. It’s. It’s not that I-... I know that’s normal. It’s… I want…” He shifts, uneasily. “I want… I want Allyn to hurt me.”

The last sentence is whispered. It’s not sharing a thought, it’s confessing what he feels is some kind of sin he is committing or intending to commit. Dr. Berger sometimes feels like a priest in a confessional booth, although she’s never been one to suggest atonement - no, fear of oneself is where the core of most of her clients’ pain lies, in her experience. Instead, she works on reconstructing the impulse or fear from its foundations, breaking apart the horror of its weight and reconfiguring it so it’s easier to understand.

To take control of, to direct.

She helps them to own themselves, not to fear the prospect but to see in it freedom they have always deserved.

Fear is the absolute last thing any of her clients should ever have to feel again. They have been taught to devalue and debase themselves, to fear what their bodies can be made to do. If she does nothing else, Dr. Berger hopes she is able to help them be just a little less afraid of the bodies they live in.

“You want your housemate to hurt you?” She asks, gently. “Do you mean in the sense of a serious injury, or…”

“No. Um. No, I fucking… I think about them, um. Hurting-... like… like they used to do. Biting me, or... or scratching... I th-think sometimes about Allyn h-holding a... never mind. Just. Hurting me. I’m-... made to be hurt.”

“You are made only to be yourself,” Dr. Berger reminds him, her voice low and without any hint of judgement. “We’ve talked about your captors before and how you were held. You believe that you were made into a masochist as part of your training, and so you’re frightened that your mind is thinking about your housemate in ways similar to how you were once forced to think about your captors.”

His nose wrinkles - he’s more dismissive than most of the language she uses, and early on delighted in insisting on using words like owner, handler, master. Things he thought might shock her. But Dr. Berger has heard nearly everything she thinks there might be to hear, by now. She only smiles slightly at his expression, jotting quickly down on her notepad a few notations.

Finally, he offers hesitantly, “I-I guess. Allyn is… good. They’re soft, and nice, and they’d never-... but I want them to. And it’s-... it would make-... them be like Robert, or… wouldn’t it? It’d be… treating them like… I don’t ever want to be what I was again, so why the fuck can’t I stop thinking about it?”

He is so rarely vulnerable. Dr. Berger doesn’t take for granted the gift he gives her by letting her see past the wall of anger and derision he has built to keep himself safe. In many ways, he reminds her of when she saw Jake Stanton after his own brush with WRU’s handlers and their methods. Bristling, defensive, and with wounds that cannot be bandaged. They instead need to be exposed to the light.

“Intrusive thoughts that contain elements of your captivity are absolutely normal. You are still in the early stages of making progress, and progress is never linear, Jameson. There is no starting line, no ribbon at the end of the race. There is only moving forward, bit by bit, even if sometimes we move back.”

“You mean I move back,” He says, sullen now. “You don’t do shit. You’re already fine.”

“Mmmn, that’s not… quite accurate. I actually see someone myself, you know.” Dr. Berger smiles at his obvious, visible surprise. “My mentor once told me he never trusted a provider of therapy who did not themselves seek it out. I have my own progress to work towards, just as you have yours.”

“Problems are probably real fucking different, though.”

“Well, that’s true.” She allows herself a warm laugh - and is rewarded when he doesn’t bristle or assume mockery like he used to, but relaxes and even gives her a very small smile in return. “But I would advise you not to compare yourself to others. Your situation, while not unique in some ways, is still unique to you. You’ve been through a kind of horror that no one else has - even if others have experienced some similarities, the traumatic events they experienced will never be entirely like yours.”

He nods.

“But-” She holds up one finger “That doesn’t mean we can’t use what we know as a framework, a foundation you can build your own way on. Think of an ancient Roman road paved into a highway in modern Italy, for instance. The foundation was there, a path laid by people who came through before. But you can take what you need and use it to find your own way. I know that you’re scared of your thoughts, I know that you are frightened of wanting to find gratification or satisfaction in pain because you think it means a return to how you were treated before, or that you are inherently changed in damaging ways by your captivity, but…”

When she trails off, he leans slightly forward “But?”

She chooses her words carefully. “Jameson, would you be willing to consider something that may make you a little uncomfortable?”

He looks at her, depths of feelings in his brown eyes, and slowly nods. “Why not? I’m already fucking uncomfortable. All the time.”

His thin shoulders under the oversized band shirt he wears make angles under the fabric as he shrugs, although in the time she’s been seeing them those sharp edges have already begun to round out, the lines of his jaw and cheekbones are softening.

She’s seen it over and over again, the physical changes reflecting the rebuilding of an entire life. It never ceases to amaze her, how hard each and every one of them works.

“Okay. This may be hard to hear at first but I think it will help you.”

Eventually he nods. “Yeah,” He half-rasps. “Yeah, okay. Just say it. Everything… everything else you’ve said has helped. Go ahead.”

“Okay. So, what I would like you to consider… perhaps what you see as an enforced flaw, a crack that was put into you, a danger you present to your housemate due to your conditioning and mistreatment… it might be in fact an intrinsic part of your sexual expression, and simply an aspect of your attraction to them, and the wish you stated to me to perhaps escalate your current relationship.”

He swallows. The color drains from his face, except for two spots of bright red high along his cheekbones. “What?” His lips barely move.

“Jameson…” Her tone dips, reassuring and soothing. “I know what you were told. I know you were likely given a series of half-truths and whole lies designed to engender dependence and teach you to loathe yourself and therefore disconnect from your body. But… that body? It’s very real, and it’s entirely yours. I think that we need to look into the possibility that you already had certain tendencies that were exploited and twisted. Those tendencies are not inherently unhealthy or damaging if you learn to pursue them in a safe environment.”

He blinks, once, twice, his eyes glittering.

She’s made a misstep and she knows it immediately, clear as the tears Jameson never allows to fall. She didn’t time it quite right. They should have spent more time working up to it…

“Are you saying I’m just-... like this?”

“Not the way you are suggesting,” Dr. Berger says softly. “I’m sorry, I didn’t express myself clearly enough. Please let me elaborate a little.”

“I fucking hope you d-didn’t mean that I’m-... that I’m just fucked up,” He says, looking away from her, down at the floor. She pretends she doesn’t see one hand go up to curve around the side of his neck, recreating some of the weight of the collar they are so often taught to rely on for a sense of safety.

“I absolutely did not mean that. One thing WRU excels at - one of the reasons they have been so successful - is that they utilize very effective techniques that encourage a sense of complicity and responsibility in the people they abuse and violate. I’m going to hazard a guess that you were told that you chose what happened to you.”

“I signed up for this,” Jameson whispers automatically, rote and robotic, without hesitation. At least, Dr. Berger thinks, she’s been doing this job long enough that hearing that no longer gets to her like it used to. “I wanted to be some rich asshole’s-”

“Yes. That. One way I think they are able to convince so many individuals so thoroughly isn’t only because of the standard methods of sleep and nutritional deprivation, the repetition, memorizing, the mistreatment… no, I think one thing WRU does is find in each of its victims a core truth they can exploit and cause you to fear in yourself, making you more vulnerable to the idea that this company is somehow saving or helping you by ‘making use’ of it. They find your weak point and use it to shatter you, but what WRU never realizes is that the very weakness they exploit is also often the same piece of you we can recover, that we can reclaim. In your case… Jameson, have you ever heard of consensual masochism?”

He’s hooked, she thinks, on this line of logic. On the lifeline she’s thrown him, something to grab onto. A way to begin to believe, in some small way, that he isn’t ruined. They all think they’ve been ruined, by the time she meets them.

None of them is.

“No, I-I haven’t. Does this mean… there are people like me who aren’t, you know, fucktoys-”

“Recovering Romantics,” She corrects, gently. “And yes. Masochism is a not-uncommon mode of expression that many people engage in consensually in the context of healthy sexual expression.”

He swallows, hard. She watches his throat move. Sees the look in his eyes, the minute changes in his expression. The hand pushing against the side of his neck slowly drops. She can see the gears turning within him, a shifting point of view maybe. She can see what he doesn’t want to speak out loud.

There’s another silence. This one is more comfortable, and as always she gives him all the time he needs.

“How-” His voice cracks, and he clears his throat, blinking rapidly again. His knees slowly uncurl and his feet, clad in old hand-me-down sneakers, find their way to flat on the floor. Without his ever-present scowl, he looks years younger. Terrified.

Hopeful.

“How can I-... how do I-...” He takes a deep breath. “If it’s just… part of me… how do I make it safe?”

@astrobly @burtlederp @finder-of-rings @whump-tr0pes @raigash @moose-teeth @orchidscript @doveotions @pretty-face-breaker @eatyourdamnpears @boxboysandotherwhump @vickytokio @whumpfigure @outofangband @downriver914 @justabitofwhump @thehopelessopus @butwhatifyouwrite @yet-another-heathen @nonsensical-whump

#whump #recovery whump #referenced pet whump #recovering whumpee #wru #bbu #box boy #box boy universe #masochism tw #condtioning #deconditioning #jameson bb #dr. berger #trauma recovery #noncon survivor navigating consensual spice #referenced consensual spice #referenced noncon #internalized victim-blaming #whumpees in therapy

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flickeringart · 3 years

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Cancer Sun and Moon Combinations

Planets represent different energetic principals in the life of an individual – the signs show how these energies express themselves.

Having an inner planet (or luminary) in the sign of Cancer gives the personality a softness, a caring quality. No matter what other placements the person has, the sensitivity and protectiveness is going to come through.

To simplify;

The Sun represents individuation, ideal self-expression and conscious self-actualization.

The Moon represents instinct, emotional nature and needs.

Cancer Sun – Capricorn Moon

The Cancer identity is sensitive to emotional stimuli and copes by retreating physically or emotionally into a ”shell” of safety in between necessary excursions out into the world. With a Capricorn Moon, there’s a need to compensate for innate lack or guilt of not being good enough through fierce ambition. The emotional resiliency and capacity to keep working through rough times is not how the personality expresses itself – it is careful and too touchy to take on the expression of unwavering competence. Cancer Suns are very human in that there are obvious fears and worries in their lives, but paired up with a Cap Moon, this emotionality gets modified slightly by a strategic and stoic temperament that is perfectly suited to face limitation and restriction. These signs are in opposition and complementary at the same time – The Cancer identity accommodates for weakness and worry, the Capricorn temperament is determined and practical – there’s little room for ”irrational” emotion. The person could be a very good preserver and protector of stability, a rock through thick and thin. Letting loose might not come naturally, because there’s too much emphasis on the consequences and the longevity of things. However, it might pay off to withhold temporary pleasure for a sense of security and trust in one’s ability to survive throughout time. Defensiveness and emotional coldness could be potential negative factors – people might have a hard time making sense of a person that is both moody and fuzzy as well as unaffected, controlled and inhibited. The emotionality would come off as more of a personality expression than genuine feeling that stems from one’s core. This double sided individual could put people off, and even more so as they get to know the person’s serious and somber temperament more intimately. The split is difficult to deal with for the person, and for people in their vicinity. None the less, there’s realness to this person, and that’s likely to be appreciated - no glamour or extravagance or godliness to inflate ordinary human existence with.

Cancer Sun – Aries Moon

A feisty temperament that wants to assert it’s own emotions and impose it’s perspective on the environment doesn’t always work in harmony with a sensitive and careful Cancer personality. Emotions rise to the surface with the speed of lightening, coming out before any inhibitory function has begun to set in. This might make the overall identity uneasy, uncertain of the ability to control impulses that might cause trouble. Cancer’s agenda is to avoid emotional harm and discomfort, it’s instinct is to preserve and protect. The Aries Moon is just out to walk it’s own path with courage and is not prone to feel lingering, debilitating emotion. Emotions peak, but they are symbols of one’s potency and power, of oneself as an individual. This combo creates a person who is full of energy but is likely concerned about how to handle the amount of force that wants out. The personality navigates to find comfort and soothing, not to compete or be the best. The two signs are conflicting, but from a positive perspective, there might be a great ability to advocate for gentleness and humility with passion. However, it can backfire and make the person react violently to the tiniest stimuli, making it difficult to socialize and not take offense from the things people say. The Aries temperament is enthusiastic and passionate, while the Cancer personality prefers to handle things indirectly without living and breathing their life’s mission. This presents a problem and the person might switch between being extremely invested in something to downplaying their involvement. Underneath the timid personality lies a fiery instinct that is quick to anger and frustration. It can be constructively used to assert boundaries and provide the Cancer personality with a bit a directness that it originally lacks. The Cancer identity can serve to direct the strong impulses of the Aries Moon as to stand up for things they care about and think are important. Compassion that is so important to Cancer can be disregarded in favor of the Aries Moon need to confront and assert. In the best of worlds, these can be integrated and lived as to add to one another.

Cancer Sun – Libra Moon

The Libra Moon temperament is designed to modify and balance out anything that is not socially appropriate. It operates from the standpoint of actualizing an ideal. Emotions are primarily dependent upon the fulfillment or unfulfillment of this ideal – if something is off, there’s dissatisfaction, if something is on point, there’s satisfaction. Within the context of a Cancer personality this temperament poses a bit of a conflict. Cancer relates to the feeling nature, the fluctuation of moods while Libra likes to keep things balanced and polished at all times. The person would inevitably feel as if it’s impossible to have an emotionally shifting personality with ups and downs and still satisfy the need for harmony. Seeking to have interdependent, emotional, intellectual and spiritually balanced relationship contradicts the Cancerian priority of being cared for and care for others through the overwhelming harshness of life. The personality is protective and the instinct is idealistic. The cyclical changes and phases are part of the person’s identity, while the emotional nature has the tendency to look to the thought scape for constant perfection. If it’s possible to find a creative solution to these conflicting energies, it would look something like working towards cultivating an ideal of beauty that involves inconstancy, to live out romance through mutual care and emotional intimacy, to seek to preserve a positive social image, to not seek to judge and label but allow for honest expression without too much censoring. This person has the potential to be very romantic and indulgent of the sweet and tender in life. It would be wise to watch out for laziness and avoidance of challenges, certain things require head-on confrontation and this is not the person’s strong suit. This combo screams indirectness, which is not to say that the person is passive, but the person would always attempt to flow around obstacles instead of attacking them honestly and directly.

Cancer Sun – Cancer Moon

The double combo reflect an immensely caring person – not only as a personality expression that stems from identification, but on a deeper, instinctual level as well. The ability to be in touch with the changes in the emotional atmosphere is superb which makes this person extremely attentive to other people’s needs. On the downside, it also makes them super sensitive, defensive and protective of their own needs. Cancer is not the one to glorify excessive independence, especially not a Cancer Moon. The person would absolutely need a support network and be a valued member among their associates. The person would probably not play out the role of the archetypal victim, but they could allow themselves to lean on trust-worthy people and provide support in return. Emotions are a natural part of life – especially for a person with this setup. They would be dead set on providing comfort for themselves and doing the same for others. If the situation requires, they might prioritize others needs as a way of manipulating them to extend services to them later on. Cancerians always appear very innocent - sometimes even fragile as to compel other people to treat them nicely. A face that reflects the capacity to be hurt can sometimes work as a defense against attack. This kind of person requires emotional intimacy and reacts strongly to attempts to create separation and distance. A glance, a tone of voice, a gesture or any other subtle indicator that one has lost emotional communion with another might cause a rage to be stirred. This is true of Cancer Suns, but especially of Cancer Moons as the Moon is the raw, instinctual nature. Clinginess and inability to accept rejection would not be unlikely. Dwelling in emotions and being unable to get out of the excruciating feeling of loneliness could sink the person quite badly. Detrimental coping mechanisms might be employed, from food, sleep, video games, exercise or anything else – chances are that they start off as comforting routines and end up consuming the person’s life. The person would not set out to overcome anything, but rather, get away from things. At the core, Cancer is protective and not provocative. There’s no aggressive imposing, but rather a powerful defensiveness in the face of threats.

Cancer Sun – Taurus Moon

The earthy Taurus Moon gives a sense of stability and grounding to the emotional personality. The instinctual nature of a Taurus Moon is in need of comfort and stability – but more as a sensual pleasure as opposed to emotional cocooning. The need to feel valuable and able to provide the things one wants to experience is strong with this temperament. Preferences and taste is important, as is control over one’s physical situation. The Cancer personality facilitates this through creating emotional connections with people, through defending and preserving personal possessions and resources. This is combo points to a person a great emotional sensitivity to physical threat. The person would have a hard time coping with changes imposed on them. Change implies uncertainty, which makes the Cancerian personality stressed and worried while the Taurean foundation for calmness is uprooted. It takes a while for a fixed earthy temperament to adjust to new situations, the person might be quietly frustrated and shed a tear or two while slowly but surely transitioning into a new normal. There’s serious attachment to people and things with these placements. The safety is in the routines with a Taurus Moon and in knowing what to expect. The Cancer personality will indirectly and subtly make sure to satisfy this need by tying close bonds to people and places. Buying people gifts, making other people food, welcoming people into their home and securing a safe base on a physical and emotional level is what the person’s life is centered around. There’s no risk taking in the person’s life, there are way too much attachments present to prioritize freedom at any cost. Even if the person is emotional and indirect, they would stand in the way of threat and protect their safety, - not their individuality however. The Cancer personality would defend through using their leverage on the emotional level, subtly coercing people to get their way. There’s little to no room for escaping up into the clouds with this combo, the person lives squarely in the reality of the physical and emotional, which can make it difficult to take a broader, more expansive perspective on life.

Cancer Sun – Leo Moon

Emotions starts to glitter and glimmer with this combo. The Leo temperament is radiant, craves attention and glamour. The person feels themselves to be important somehow, a child of the gods or the divine. This person has the capacity to own everything they go through, like a star in a movie they are enhanced through their experiences even if they’re difficult and sad. Paired with the sentimentality and emotional clinginess of Cancer, the person lives proudly in their constant moodiness, creating art out of everything. The Leo temperament gives the Cancer emotionality a rightful place in the spotlight. This can be done with a small circle of friends or on a larger scale. The fire Moon provides an inner source of light that can be drawn upon in the most depressing times, but it can also serve to inflate the ego, to dominate the atmosphere with suffocating stickiness. There’s great capacity to love and honor people, to be drawn to people in need of care and attention. However, Leo Moon is proud and would never diminish their own light for someone else. Cancer Sun, might not care about standing out which could present a problem. Insecurity and shyness could dominate and cause the more extroverted needs to take a back seat. It would be worth exploring ways of combining the two energies – to allow creativity to flow without having to be in full view all the time. Safety and comfort would be important, but the person would not want things to turn mundane and boring. There would have to be a sense of magnificence and specialness in daily life for these people – and it’s not difficult for them to create. The way they carry themselves, dress and behave says it all. Drawing inspiration and comfort from the past could be a thing since Cancer Sun tend to be very sentimental. The bitter sweet moments are like food to the soul. The person would be prone to fantasize about things that could’ve been, past connections and abandoned dreams. The feeling of being undeservingly robbed of their grandeur could break their heart – and the Cancer personality would dwell in the emotions of it, potentially try to calm themselves down with food or love or any other mildly addictive substance.

(Buy products with my art)

Cancer Sun – Aquarius Moon

The Aquarius instinctual nature is intellectual and emotionally detached while the Cancer identity is emotionally fluctuating. This combo presents a conflict because it combines rationality and objectivity with the desire to protect and preserve what’s safe and familiar. Both signs contribute to create a reserved person with a lot going on inside. On an instinctual level, there’s a need to do things their own way, to think for themselves and believe that they’re right in thinking what they’re thinking. There’s strong attachments to being smart and reasonable, but the Cancer emotionality could skew one’s objectivity and confuse the need for comfort with correctness. Other people might be hesitant to trust the Aquarian vision when they see it in the same person who changes their opinions based on their moods and is desperately clingy at times. The person might deny any tendency to be emotional and crave distance while secretly yearning for closeness. The Aquarius temperament appears to be beyond human nature – coldly dealing with emotionally loaded topics like a surgeon using metal instruments to operate on a body. All the while the Cancer identity is emotionally unstable and need reassurance and mothering. Ideally, the person would find someone with whom they can bond over shared interests and causes while being emotionally contained. It might be that the person find is ok to show weakness and concern in relation to a concept rather than a personal experience. For example, the person might get emotional about the concept of friendships dying rather than the actual personal experience of loosing a friend. Generalization is the greatest tool in the tool box for these people. On another note, they would get a thrill out of novelty – anything unpredictable or mentally exciting would make them feel emotionally satisfied. However, unless the timing is right it might just make them upset, for Cancers it’s all about the timing. Originality is usually associated with an Aquarian temperament and the person would prefer to exist out of the norm. The person would probably have great compassion and fondness for the little quirks in others.

Cancer Sun – Scorpio Moon

This combo is indicative of a person that lives in the emotional realm. They live through the intangible, the subtle shifts and movements of the tides in the atmosphere. However, on an instinctual level there’s the compulsive need to be in control. Whereas Cancer Moon would more easily display weakness and lean on others, the Scorpio Moon would seem more detached and composed at the core, unwilling to share their inner lives. This individual could seek to gain power through portioning themselves off from the emotional happenings – while being caring and emotionally reflective on a more general level. The primary need is to be able to make an impact but remain unaffected oneself. Defenses could be quite strong and rigid with this combo. Not many people would be trusted and not many would manage to figure them out even if they tried. The person is equipped with an eye for detecting dishonesty and manipulative tactics, as well as using them to secure their own needs. While the person is dependent and whiny and in need of reassuring, they instinctively prefer solitude before unpleasant company. The needy nature of Cancer is counteracted a bit by the desire to remain in power and not lay all the cards on the table for everyone to see. With people they trust, however, there’s great love and support of emotional needs. There’s the potential to have an intensely intimate connection with this kind of person. Not everyone is capable of seeing through all the barriers of the personality structure and get down to the bottom of existence, but this person would. The deepness of the Scorpio Moon would be nicely complemented by the Cancer’s proclivity for softness and compassion. ”It’s safe to be vulnerable” is the goal of the Cancer personality, ”it’s ok to be gentle”. The Scorpio temperament would make it possible for self-containment and resilience rather than complete dependence. But, the paranoia of being screwed or out-maneuvered could become excessive and the fear of getting hurt could make the person walled-off. There’s a sharpness to this Cancer personality that is capable of direct attack if needed. In the midst of general moodiness there could be a sharp remark or stinging glance that is directed on purpose.

Cancer Sun – Virgo Moon

A very sweet, caring and practically oriented individual is indicated by this combo. The Virgo temperament is analytical and detail oriented– it needs to process things until it makes sense. Since Cancer Suns are all about preserving and protecting what they’re emotionally attached to, the Virgo Moon would facilitate this through organizing and structuring life in order to make it possible. If the person feels neglected or mistreated by the people in their life, the Virgo instinct might be to add to this by finding little annoyances and faults in their concrete behavior. Some little thing taken out of context could be very upsetting. Not bothering to give them a hug or not looking them in the eye could be be a big deal even though it might mean nothing to certain people. The little everyday things have a lot of impact on these people – it can either make or break their day. This individual would feel seen through acts of service – it would melt their heart to know that someone notices their preferences and attempts to accommodate for them. There could be a tendency to get lost in over-thinking and worry. The person’s might not be able to relax because they must get everything right to a T – their emotional well-being depends on it. This would not only make them exhausted but other people around them would suffer as well. Yet, they can’t help it, because the details matters. The person would be adept at sensing what others need and seek to provide it in material form. There might be discomfort around confronting emotions directly and a tendency to deal with them in practical terms. ”I can’t cry right now because it would be inconvenient” is their stance. There’s a time for everything in Virgo Moon’s book, and spontaneous self-expression is too risky. It’s the details that are important, not the big picture. If they can’t get a grip on things on a micro-scale these people are prone to freak out and distrust that things are going to work out. Reassurance and protection from stress is what these people need, yet their nature kind of works against them on that point.

Cancer Sun – Sagittarius Moon

The emotional Cancer personality is complemented by a scattered and restless spirit. Life is exciting and full of potential, yet one worries and whines over minor discomforts. It’s difficult to be adventurous and careful at the same time – there’s no room for taking risks in the name of freedom, yet this is what this person would do, impulsively. Chances are that efter the mess is caused, there’s deep regret and insecurity – the person didn’t really want to say that thing or do that thing. When reality catches up, the person doesn’t want to deal with it and seeks to hide at a safe distance. The person is bold at times but overall surprisingly needy and clingy. Instinctually, the person is casual and arrogant, but the personality is quite humble and meak. When acting consciously, there’s great care and respect for others and themselves, but when on auto-pilot anything could come out of the person’s mouth and destroy the intimacy that the person craves. If there’s not enough awareness around this tendency, other people could feel deceived and gaslighted. Carefully planned trips in the company of people that can be trusted is what this person craves. They would need some padding and cushioning from the harsh outside world while still being able to explore it. Cancer’s need to retreat into a private world could suit the Sagittarian temperament well if it involved some kind of exploration of interests. Home life is always likely to be important for a Cancer Sun, however, it might be difficult for the Sagittarius Moon to take on the responsibility required to create a safe and caring environment. Sagittarius likes to speak the truth and does so without consideration of the cosequences. The intactness of the family unit might suffer because emotional boundaries are not respected and there’s no effort extended to create intimacy. The Cancerian need to secure permanent relationships can be difficult to fulfill, as the person’s instinct is to be inconsiderate and impatient. There’s the potential for great understanding and sympathy, but it’s on a more abstract level than what is usually required to sustain close personal relations. Adjustment is needed in order to not lose what one values and still satisfy one’s free spirit.

Cancer Sun – Gemini Moon

This combo screams scatteredness and moodiness. While the personality navigates the emotional realm, the instinctual nature is cerebral and intellectual. There’s a capacity to detach and play different roles but there’s also the conscious desire of wanting to create lasting relationships, be supported and offer support to others. The innocent dishonesty that comes with a Gemini temperament could sabotage the deep loyalty that the Cancer Sun is cultivating. The need to spice things up, to play with people and pull little tricks is irresistible. Usually they’re smart and playful enough to get away with it. This type of Cancer Sun combo has the potential to be very fun. Amidst the caring and gentle personality there’s a mischievous streak. The person is likely to be talkative and constantly active mentally. This person might love to satisfy the Cancerian need to escape by reading or watching interesting documentaries. Anything that stimulates the mind and is nuanced enough to be exciting would be satisfying. Relationships could work quite well, given the Cancer Sun intuition and attentiveness to emotion in combo with the Gemini Moon craving for interaction and communication. However, anything that stagnates will bore the Gemini temperament and there’s little patience for this experience. If there’s no movement, the person might attempt to set things in motion. The person is likely very resourceful and clever at coming up with creative solutions. On the downside, the capacity to manipulate and lie is quite advanced. On a deeper level, these people have no sincere feelings and can easily be immoral and cruel. On a general level, these people might be very caring, but subconsciously they have a hard time feeling remorse. What happens in the intellectual realm is not necessarily real, thought is potential and these people might fail to recognize that if thought is put into practice, it sometimes has serious consequences. On an up note, the emotional tides that Cancers can get stuck in is easier to see oneself out of with a Gemini Moon.

Cancer Sun – Pisces Moon

This is the kind of person that can see into your soul. There’s great sensitivity to this combo and a deepness that is immeasurable in comparison to the other Moon placements. There’s a lot of mood swings and one might want to crawl back to a state of pre-birth and pre-existence in order to find comfort. It’s difficult for this person to deal with the harshness of the world. One wants to protect and defend goodness and innocence at all costs. There’s the risk of falling prey to all consuming experiences and be overwhelmed on a daily basis. The person would need a soft environment that is designed to heal and sooth and might be surprisingly vicious in this pursuit. Insensitivity is a crime to this person, but at the same time there’s the understanding that every attack is a cry for love. Cancer Suns are not quick to forgive but a Pisces Moon might not have the stomach to hold grudges for long. It hurts them to not feel at one with other people and the world – and grudges is a sign of separation. The solution might be to extend love from a distance, while still keeping oneself safe through exercising healthy boundaries. Although Cancer and Pisces are softhearted signs, they have a hidden cruelty to them. Their aggressiveness often comes through emotional blackmail, identifying as a victim or a martyr. They’d want to be seen as harmless and brave in the face of injustice, to be the bigger person and take the high road of non-resistance. There’s no doubt that this person feel strongly and wants closeness and acceptance at all costs. Other people might appreciate this or shy away from their suffocating clinginess. Instinctively, there’s the pull to merge with the environment, to dissolve and let go of separateness. This need might not be completely conscious. Cancer Suns want support and care, but it’s not as keen on letting go of individuality and go with the flow. Cancer Suns have a lot of attachments – to the body, to their family, to their memories and belongings. They seek to preserve these, not to give them away or let them wither away.

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nestasgalpal · 3 years

Text

The art of antagonism

Fixing ACOSF part 7

Masterlist | AO3

Summary: It’s Starfall, the most beautiful night of the year in the Night Court. Nesta is with her friends, dancing with them, and not even his unexpected appearence will ruin it.

A/N: I AM SORRY IT TOOK ME MONTHS. I got a job and didn’t have that much time. There was so much these two needed to discuss... and there is more coming in the next chapters (WHICH I HAVE DRAFTED BECAUSE THEY WERE SO MUCH EASIER TO WRITE THAN THIS ONE). Anyway, here is the next part of Fixing A Court of Gaslighting.

Tagging: @gwynriel @zoyaslai @clolikescloquetas @amelievrstr @t8astr8ng @wanderlustlastsforever @saltydreamcollector @lordlorcan @esrahiba @queenestarcheron @jemstan300 @nessiantrashh @azrielandhawkesropebunny @frosted-crackers @mireillemystique @pataytayo @968sunflower968 @caram267 @jainadurron @darkshadowqueensrule @amphiptree @finae-bookshelf @niytavia @brainlessfruit @dontgetsalmonella @messyhairday-me @sunsummoner @chosenfamily-valkyriequeens @wannawriteyouabook @psychoticminx @misswonderflower @drielecarla

The night was even more beautiful now that Nesta laid on the cold grass, Gwyn dancing nearby with her feet bare. Stars rained over them.

The training yards on the rooftop took most of the space, but there was enough room for the three of them to lay on the soft grass that started to grow with the early spring weather. Emerie was not with them yet. Her sister said Azriel would go sought her, but it was taking him a little longer than she had anticipated.

Gwyn sang. She did so quietly enough that Nesta only grasped some of it, the soft melody flowing between them. Her friend literally glowed covered in stardust, like a goddess who looked down to the city of light and shone for its citizens. Her presence there -out of the library at night- a blessing to them.

Nesta got up from her mat and joined the improvised dance to the rythm of Gwyn’s light mutter. Nesta made her twirl and then catched her in her arms, laughing at how clumpsy the manuver came out. Gwyn laughed too, and Nesta knew she had made the right decision when she left Feyre’s party.

She wanted to spend her first Starfall -the first Starfall she would remember- with her new friends.

Stars zoomed in the sky, fast and beautiful. Nesta let Gwyn spin her and then take her hand, the other one now resting in the priestess shoulder. They moved together in harmony, not performing the choreography or any real dance she knew, yet swinging with grace.

Then, Emerie arrived. Only it was not Az who brought her to them, but Rhysand.

Nesta’s joy vanished in a heartbeat. What was he doing here? Emerie run to them. She looked unharmed, smiling as she approached and waving her hand with excitement. Nesta walked past her, straight to Rhysand.

“Feyre asked me to bring her here” he explained before Nesta said a word.

“Did she?” not a single syllable was free of poison and distrust. She knew it was a lie, her sister hadn’t asked him.

The High Lord didn’t try to deny the silent accusation. Because he didn’t really care that she knew it had been his idea -that he had asked Feyre to be the one bringing Emerie to Velaris, and she had agreed. He wanted Nesta to know that after the last fight with his mate, he had been forgiven, and her sister trusted him blindly again.

Silence didn’t have time to settle between them before Nesta found the strength in herself to answer to his silent jibe with just as much pettiness. “Well, that’s good. For a moment I thought you were here to join us. And you know, we usually don’t accept new members when they’ve threatened the life of one of us.” Nesta shrugged, her face not showing a pinch of the bad blood she felt. Her eyes did that for her, as did Rhysand’s in return.

“I already apologized for that” was all he said. Yes, he had apologized to Feyre. And to Cassian, who had been comfortably talking to him in the balcony.

But not to her. The one whose life he had threatened. He didn’t think he had to. And nobody expected him to do so either, apparently.

Facing him wasn’t something she had anticipated for tonight. She didn’t feel prepared at all.

Learning to respect herself enough to keep going with her life was not an easy path, and her sister’s mate was still the biggest obstacle she would have to face after she came to terms with herself.

Not tonight, please. Not now.

Rhysand had threatened her multiple times. And he hadn’t apologized to her once. It wasn’t fair. That much, she knew. In theory, this should be easy -facing him and demanding respect. But in practice it wasn’t. Nesta found herself struggling to keep control of her emotions, her anger, her guiltiness. There was a learned habit of believing his words to be true because everyone else seemed to agree with him and it was either accepting them as well, or be left alone to stand against him.

He had the same confident grin he had worn the day Feyre sent her here. That disgusting grim Nesta dreaded. She knew that if he had tried to look only a little more intimidating, she would have fallen back in line, accepting that she was still his prisoner in The House of Wind, a building she couldn’t escape from. But the way his confident eyes looked down on her made the mist in her mind vanish, her rage rising up like a shield -her old reliable walls.

She was done with being the only one who was held accountable for her mistakes.

A high-pitched laugh came from where Gwyn and Emerie were sharing a welcome hug. Only a few little lanterns on the floor lightened up the space, stars doing the rest.

They oozed joy as Nesta turned her back to them to face her sister’s mate again. She wanted to join her friends, but had to do this first. Because Nesta had endured too much already, and wasn’t willing to let this male ruin the most beautiful night of the year for her. She was determined to have fun with her Valkyrie sisters, so if Rhysand wanted trouble, he would have to wait.

They would have a confrontation another time, and it would be on her terms.

“You should go back to your party. You have guests.”

The High Lord nodded. His semblance was relaxed, comfortable. In control. “You do too. Though it looks like you are missing one. Do you want me to bring Elain up here as well?” Nesta fought the impulse to tighten her jaw and fists. She made herself breathe through the anger and keep her mien blank. “Get one sister, loose the other, I guess”. He shifted on his feet, his hands now in his pockets, the image of a confident male. He waved his hand to her friends behind her, a smile on his lips that didn’t meet his eyes. “I’ll never forget Elain’s tears when she came back from visiting you that last time”.

“And I’ll never care about what you think of that.”

Nesta tried to make her words heavy with venom. Unmoving stone against his constant pushing. She intended for them to sound like a final statement. But truth can’t always be bent like that, sometimes it flungs free. Against her will, her voice was light, syllables one after the other coming out of her mouth as naturally as breathing.

Not cold, not welcoming or tinted with any hue of sentiment at all. Her words were a simple and transparent truth: She didn’t care what he said, what he thought of her or what he did. She never would, no matter how many traps and punishments Rhysand devised for her, or how strong his High Lord abilities affected her psyche. There was no room inside her left to care about this male in front of her anymore. Specially, not now.

Because he would never change who he was, or how far he was willing to go to see his goals materialize. Nesta was beyond caring, anyway. Beyond trying to earn his pardon.

Nesta told herself she was the master of her own fate, as her sisters and every other person in her live controlled their own. She repeated the words like a mantra, an exercise to convince herself and keep her cool. Whatever I want, I can work for it with or without his approval.

Nesta took in the image presented in front of her. The delicate embroidery of his tunic, the carefully styled hair. The overall perfection of his appearance. And concluded that he wasn’t worth the effort of coming up with witty insults. He simply needed to leave her party and go back to his own.

“You’ve made your loved ones cry a fair amount as well, and they found a way to forgive you. If what you’ve done to others can be excused, then I’m sure my sisters and I will find a way to work things out as well. We are long-lasting creatures now, We are in no hurry.”

As his only answer, Rhysand fixed his gaze behind her again and smiled, a wicked grin darkening his beautiful features. Emerie’s burst of laughter echoed in the rooftop. He kept his stare there. Nesta could almost hear his brain at work, but didn’t get a clear reading of his thoughts.

There was a weird feeling about his presence there, the way he kept looking at the illyrian and the priestess. He was monitoring them, as if making sure they were okay. That’s when it clicked -the reason why her sister’s mate had insisted on winnowing Emerie himself. He didn’t travel all the way to Illyria to provoke her, he was actually making sure Nesta wasn’t a threat to her friend’s safety.

He had already warned her once about that on that same spot of the House of Wind.

Why did he insist on making of Nesta such a monster in his mind?

The only reason she even met her Valkyrie sisters was him locking her in that damned house carved in the mountain. It had been his idea to make her work in the library with the priestess. It had been an order of his that she went to Windhaven to train. Why did he insist of making a threat of her even when he was the one moving her around and controlling her every movement?

“Haven’t you taken enough from me already?” she asked when the silence became too much, anger rising in her stomach and burning all the way up to her throat.

She really needed to know. Because as days went on, she started questioning what did her sister’s mate even expect from her. To what end had he engined this plan? What did he want from her before he let her out? That’s if he ever intended to do so...

Does he only want to see my spirit broken?

Nesta was well aware of how her choices had hurt Feyre. Cassian. Even Elain. But what had she even done to him? Why did he go around pretending her life and her future belonged to him so fiercely she had almost believed it as well? Why was he so convinced of his entitlement to grant her a pardon or not, even when the rest had already made peace with her?

That, she didn’t understand. That was precisely what made her shake and be scared of the future. That she didn’t know. That she didn’t know if the rest did either. That they saw and heard him act like that... and didn’t say anything.

That was what made her fall and fall again under his power. Whenever she felt like his treatment was unfair, she looked around and realized she was the only one who had a problem with it. She doubted herself, how reliable her own judgement was.

But she had to come out of that darkness.

She had to, or else she would really crumple up and perish once and for all.

When Rhysand looked back at her, he scanned her features as if she were a puzzle, a mystery. His own personal challenge that didn’t exist beyond his own perception. A hint of pity shone for a second in his pupils, then disappeared as if it had never been there.

“Don’t you think you deserved some of it?” he asked back. When Nesta didn’t answer, he decided to explain it to her with the condescension only those who didn’t belong to his circle knew from him. “You don’t even know how deeply your actions have hurt her. How much damage you have caused.” Rhysand gave a step closer. Nesta didn’t back down. “She keeps forgiving you because she’s already imagined what her life looks like with you by her side and wants it desperately. You prey on her innocence -on her unconditional love. You take advantage of it and fail her time after time.” The High Lord was gritting his teeth “Yet she keeps coming back to you. I refuse to allow this behavior from you anymore. I must put an end to it before you drag her down with you to that well you seem unable to escape. If you want to be miserable, so be it. But I won’t allow you to ruin my mate as well.”

Oh.

So that’s it.

It hurt. It hurt way more than she could have anticipated. Nesta had spent countless hours looking between her memories for the most painful ones. For those times when she had been so awful there was no room for redemption. She had been the first one to use them against herself in those long nights of self-loathing. Nesta had gone over and over those times when she picked on her sisters, she had memorized every insult thrown at them until the words lost their meaning and no longer could be used to hurt herself.

Nesta thought nobody could use that against her better than she already did and make her hate who she was more than she ever did. So it hurt to listen to Rhysand and understand what was hidden behind his words. There was an underlying truth that she had never even considered. A new layer to the High Lord’s character that she had never known. Yet suddenly, it all made sense.

And it hurt.

It hurt to realize that Rhysand wouldn’t stop trying to keep her away from Feyre because he was jealous. He was jealous that it didn’t matter what he gave her -a crown, a court, the world itself... Feyre wouldn’t have the life she wanted until she had her sister by her side to enjoy it. It almost made her laugh, hadn’t it been the cause for almost a year of missery.

It was sad and pathetic to realize this male was using every weapon at his disposal to ruin her because of his own insecurity, his own fear of not being enough.

She had been suffering this nightmare for him. For his ego.

“I did kind of deserve this” she answered with honesty, her arms spreading at her sides to point at the space. Her open sky prison. “The first time a High Lord used a fake law to manipulate me and my family to his will, I was unprepared. But this second time, I kind of deserved it. I should have known.”

Rhysand’s eyes widened as she spoke, but Nesta wasn’t finished yet “Do you get like a manual, or something, when you sit on the throne? How to trick stupid girls into giving up their freedom? How to keep them quiet when they refuse?” she mocked.

His eyes were voids of blackness that seemed to swallow her, his dark essence flinging free around them. To say his performance was a threat would be a stretch. It wasn’t a threat, it was the preparation for an attack. The scent of his anger hit her senses and almost knocked her out, a death promise painted in his fine features.

Don’t you ever compare me to him, he growled in her mind.

But Nesta had faced death too many times to be scared of it anymore.

She took a step closer as a savage grin formed in her lips. Unafraid. Because she was sure his threats would become true, and the thought of it made her shiver. But so would hers, if the male in front of her even considered hurting Feyre, her friends of Nesta herself again. “Then stop doing the same shit he did”.

Her words came out as a whisper, soft in the way a lion’s fur was to the touch. A softness that didn’t make its jaws even slightly less dangerous when it prayed upon its victim.

And they hit their mark.

Rhysand’s hands were fists

Nesta was already preparing her next jibe. She wanted him to leave, to stay away from her. But if he refused, then she was ready to fight him to filth. To make him see for himself how hard it was to make peace with everything she needed to mend, every person she had hurt, when he kept going after her for the fun of it. She would make him go through it if that was the only option he left her.

But when Nesta met his gaze, she thought she saw a kind of hurt deep in his pupils so familiar that she wondered if the black in his eyes was only reflecting her own. “I only want to protect my mate” he said at last, his eyes endlessly tired now. She would have pitied him. Had he ever granted Nesta a little consideration before dismissing her as a monster, as a threat, as the cause of every single inconvenience in their lives, she would have pitied him. It wasn’t the case.

“Then go sought her, and leave me alone.”

He did. Without any last comment to torment her evening, without a last threatening glare to let her know that she had won this fight, but not the war, Rhysand went for the stairs, and got lost in the darkness.

Nesta gave a step back, not wanting to turn her back to the stairs... just in case. Only when she made sure her sister’s husband wasn’t coming back and her erratic breathing became normal again, she went to meet her friends.

Gwyn was barefoot and sited on the ground, her hair all the colors except the auburn shade the Mother had given her. Emerie was standing by her side.

“Is everything okay?” the illyrian asked.

Nesta forced herself to open her mouth in a broad smile for her friends to see.

“Yeah, it was just a misunderstanding” they didn’t look convinced “Family stuff. Sometimes it’s hard to draw the line between family business and the obligations of one’s job, you know.”

Emerie’s hand found hers and gave it a tug. “Well, whenever it becomes too much to handle, come find us.”

“You can always count on us, Nesta. We’ll be here for you.”

Gwyn raised from the grass with some help from her hands. She moved her arms around them, her lips forming a smile that showed all her teeth. When Nesta thought the redhead was going to hug them, she opened her fists in their faces, stardust flowing from them and into their bodies.

Emerie coughed, Nesta only burst out a loud laugh that resonated in every balcony of the House of Wind. She had been taken by surpise. And it had been fun.

Nesta forgot about every other person she had met that night and the presence of those two females by her side became so obvious and indubitable, she almost cried for a second time.

Her friends. She was going to spend Starfall with her friends. The family she had chosen. Who had also chosen her.

Emerie was giggling too, but she hadn’t appreciated the surprise as much as Nesta. “Why did you do that?” she reprimanded Gwyn, the amusement impossible to hide.

“You were too clean. I think I have stardust even under the tunic” Gwyn said. Her slippers, abandoned in a corner, were for sure coated with light blue glimmer.

“They are spirits, Gwyneth Berdara!” Emrie corrected. “It’s not dust.”

Was it not? Nesta didn’t know about that, or how spirits could take this form at all. She had always imagined ghosts as ethereal beings, not shooting stars.

“Doesn’t matter, let’s just enjoy the night. You probably don’t want to be bored by a history lesson” she joked.

“I do.” Nesta sat on the grass, Gwyn was quick to follow. “I want you to tell me everything about it, please”.

Emerie had to give in and let the smile she was hiding shine on her lips. Pretending she wasn’t as eager to share legends and stories about her Court with them as they were to hear her talk, Emerie started her tale.

Stories about our Court, she corrected herself. Because it was now a home for the three of them.

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bibbykins · 3 years

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can u give us a glimpse into what arguing w/ the princes would be like? love ur work btw!!

You bet! I actually had something written about this ages ago but never finished it so I’ll paste it here and add some more!

Warnings: 18+ (just like my whole page and all my works are)This is where the toxicity and unhealthiness of these relationships show, manipulation, yelling, lying, mentions of sex, mentions of rough sex, mentions of various sexual acts (cunnilingus, fellatio, exhibition) I beg of you to not put up with any of this shit irl let fiction stay in the fictional world yknow? I always ramble in my fics about this but I figured I should add it here for good measure

Jin:

Where the other boys rarely ever just “argue” and it is either a fight or nothing, you guys just argue sometimes, never rlly fight

This ties back to the fierce honesty policy you have between each other, but you both are so stubborn so arguing does happen

You both usually start by saying snarky things until one of you breaks and says what is really bothering them, which doesn’t take long at all

If you cry, congrats, you automatically won bc Jin not only does not know how to deal with a woman’s tears, he cannot fathom his one true love crying

Although you usually try to continue explaining your reasoning bc you don’t wanna win by crying, you wanna win bc you’re right

Jin, similar to Jimin, respects you a lot, so the other girls seldom ever catch him acting like a clown’

His downfall is just being bad at expressing his feelings bc he thinks you just know, like you read minds or something

Jin usually apologizes by asking what you want after he forfeits his pride so if it’s a gift, he’s on it, sex? say less.

He usually prefers to pamper you for a night, not even cumming during sex unless you tell him to

You’re the one who threatens the other fellas when they’re disrespecting their s/o, intentionally or not, and boy are they frightened. You rlly have a way with insults

Yoongi:

Bickers with you, but doesn't fight and everyone does not understand how bc he’s so standoffish to everyone else

Bc your relationship has the most public eyes on it, gossip columns are floored when they cannot find flaws or rumors of fights, and most are too intimidated by Yoongi to just make them up

You both read each other like a book, so the only time anything comes up is if you don’t like what you’re reading at that moment and vice versa, then a fight might start but it is shockingly rare

If he makes you cry, the fight is over, he lost. Yes, this is a running theme among the guys bc they are all whipped dummies

Very perceptive of your feelings, so never really worries about fighting with you or you hiding anything from him

You know how to get him to fess up so it's not the worst system of communication (still not healthy in the slightest but that’s the yandere life here)

He doesn't really try to lie to you or hide anything since you're also pretty bonkers so if he destroyed someone’s career bc he thought they looked at funny, you just roll your eyes and tell him he’s silly

You are the one that Jungkook and Taehyung are terrified of (It’s just about all the hyungline gf’s they are rlly scared of)

You’re usually so bubbly and energetic, but if you get pissed off, you’re as frightening if not more frightening than Yoongi

I should add Yoongi prefers to make up by marathon eating you out, at some point, it feels like he’s getting a kick out of it, but you’re in no place to complain tbh

Hoseok:

Not a lot of fighting here tbh bc you are still healing and your talent is in deescalating situations and telling people’s feeling

Your job is literally a behavior analyst so you will just deadass be like, “I can tell you’re getting frustrated to a point where effective communication won’t be possible, so how can I help calm you down?”

Makes him go silent real quick and reevaluate everything he has ever thought or done

For this reason, he just sighs and apologizes, genuinely bc you can absolutely tell when he’s just saying it to shut you up

He is the only one that will allow you to leave (the room, not the house) not that you want to leave the building considering the dangers you know are out there

Once you both cool off, you’ll have him state what he thought about and vice versa

You give advice to all the girls on how to do this, but not all of them are brave enough to try

So you go full mama bear mediator and step in when you feel the need

You genuinely frighten these guys bc you have this innate ability to make them feel dumb as fuck

Namjoon:

No fights rlly but misunderstandings happen that makes Joon go manic

You get frustrated bc he does this instead of just talking to you, but he’s learning little by little

The moment you aren’t smiling or trying to make a light joke with him, fight over, you won, he is worried

Bc he knows if you’re not smiling, you’re almost definitely going to cry and when you cry, he cries

You actually implement Angel’s tips and see some improvement with communication as time goes on

Namjoon’s love language in making up is grand gestures, so he’ll rent out a whole restaurant, or take you on a shopping spree to an art supply store, anything that will bring a smile to your face

You intimidate the other guys when they fight with their darlings bc you keep a smile the whole time you are threatening them and holy fuck is it eerie. You usually try to distract the upset girls post-argument with a craft or fun art facts

Jimin:

What makes the relationship work are your selfish tendencies working in tandem with his more sinister ones, but it can’t always work that way

You both test each other all the time despite agreeing on almost everything because the relationship is not a fight for dominance, but control-control you usually win

The closest you get to real fighting is rough sex, most of the time you have disagreements that you resolve with conversation

It's the most “healthy” (it’s not all that healthy tbh) thing about the relationship and it blows everyone's minds, but it only happens bc Jimin has always respected you, and he genuinely knows that you don’t need him as much as he needs you

But on the extremely rare occasion there is a fight it is never in front of anyone and all hell breaks loose: screaming, yelling, slamming doors, it all seems like endless hell bc you both are too stubborn to say when you’re wrong

Until you cry

He really can't stand the sight of you crying, bc you rarely ever cry. He sees you as really tough and his whole perception of the world shatters once he realizes he’s the cause of your tears

Making up includes, you guessed it, sex. Like calling into work bc you can’t walk sex (Jimin cries during this sex bc he feels undeserving but by round 2 he stops)

The girls come to you post-argument to rant bc you live to talk shit with them to vent

Taehyung:

Rarely ever fights with you, because he absolutely despises doing so and you typically do what he says without question

But when you do fight, it always ends with both of you crying and hugging

During the argument though, he can say some seriously out of pocket shit, bc he lacks impulse control and you take that shit to hear bc who wouldn’t

The fights are nightmarish and hard to watch bc at some point it just becomes Taehyung losing his mind while you cower until he realizes how much of an asshole he’s being or until you try to leave mid convo

Bless him if he were to ever make you cry in front of the other MC’s, my guy would be ripped to shreds bc the other girls do not fuck around

Hates to ever be the cause of your tears so you both are very quick to makeup and he can spend up to weeks making up for it

I’m talking gifts, money, food, dates, clothes, he is basically your personal assistant that pays you when he feels bad

The girl’s come to you after an argument for quiet time or some cute embroidery time

Jungkook:

You don't fight often, but when you do it's disastrous bc he is wildly paranoid and you are wildly insecure

You almost always go into a panic attack, fearing he'll leave you and he immediately loses all fight in him and feels like shit

And he is absolutely crushed seeing you hyperventilate or clutch your chest while he's yelling so he just stops like mid yell will just close his mouth and take a deep breath before going to you

Immediately apologizes when it happens

Usually cries with you while he holds you

Another fella that will get torn to shreds by the other girls if they even catch a whiff of him being anything other than sunshine and rainbows to you rip jungkook tbh

He makes it up to you the same way Taehyung makes it up, by shutting his mouth and doing whatever you want, and giving you whatever you want

When the other girls get into an argument with their guy, they come to you for a hug and some quality time distraction

#ask #anon ask #seven princes of campus #yandere bts

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umbrrage-arch · 2 years

Photo

I’m due to spew some bullshit so that last post is a good representation of what Shadow has convinced himself death is gonna be like, which might explain why he wants to die so bad but like he can’t just justify taking his own life because he knows he's there for a reason, a reason given to him, however, by the person he just wants “to get back to”, which is why instead of being outright suicidal Shadow is indirectly suicidal. Eg he will do risky things & gamble with his own life; he’s the first to put himself in dangerous situations, in the hope they’ll be life threatening & that by some twist of fate it’ll end him. I also spoke about Shadow having some pretty / debatably unhealthy coping mechanisms, but didn’t go into a lot of detail. These rage from the more subtle like Shadow’s love of consuming violent / dark media ( which is more debatably unhealthy than outright unhealthy. Its kinda “desensitized” him some which can be thought of as a good thing. Despite Shadow’s trauma being born from & associated with violence & such Shadow finds games that detail a lot violence & gore to be kind of therapeutic because he has complete control over the situation & can even use it as a outlet to vent his anger/darker impulses with no harm done to anyone real ) to the more explicitly dangerous which manifests itself in Shadow slightly impulsive, even thrill seeking behaviour. This includes participating in illegal racing, getting himself into fights & doing other dangerous things & taking part in sometimes “” criminal behaviours.””

This is why, Shadow, despite his otherwise “heroic” disposition & intentions, can be tempted to say, join a dangerous street race despite the fact he actually doesn’t have any interest in the cash prize, like say, Rouge might.

This is actually why, despite genuinely considering Rouge & Omega his friends, that Shadow’s an active member of team dark. It might seem that Shadows overall goals & general behaviours are not really suitable to Team Dark which is true on the surface. Shadow is not selfish & greedy by nature, he doesn’t have much interest in material things the way Rouge does or obtaining them by underhanded means & neither does he actually crave wanton murder & destruction like Omega. He’s not fuelled by hate & revenge the way Omega tends to be. What Shadow is though is damaged & angry. Its this sort of need for self harm by proxy & an outlet for his trauma & grief that sees Shadow as typically going along with whatever slightly-less than virtuous nonsense Rouge & Omega might be up to. Therefore theft & violence/destruction are absolutely not beyond Shadow’s participation. & Shadow doesn’t have a capacity to judge either Rouge or Omega for their own “issues” because he doesn’t see the problem if no one is really getting hurt save for some of Eggman’s creations. Its mostly just a good time in his eyes. Its kinda like Adeline hits like serotonin for him which is the shortest, sweetest way to explain it. I also think Shadow finds this type of thing to be a healthy outlet for all the dangerous / predatory instincts he has that are naturally ingrained into him via his Black Arms ancestry. & this may also double as a reason for why Shadow feels a sense of . . . Joy from fighting & maiming. He takes it out on Eggman’s robots the way Omega does which is an outlet for it that prevents it from manifesting toward others. Shadow keeps this under wraps to the best of his ability but it is nice to have something to just let loose on that he knows he cant cause actual harm toward & that is really just doing everyone else a favour. ( Also to note Shadow only hunts & harms the non-sentient Eggman robots. The ones with very basic programming & no ability to express actual thoughts or emotion. Shadow would not treat Cubot, Orbot or even Metal Sonic in the entirely same way he’d treat an Eggpawn or any other of Eggman’s drones. He’s much more understanding & compassionate, even empathetic toward them just like he is with Omega. ) This is all kind of on top of Shadow’s tendency to avoid facing his feelings/anger in any other way / his frequency for shutting others out / isolating himself from other people. He tends to outright reject help because Shadow’s pride is also a factor here. He feels a sense of shame expressing any kind of struggle or difficulty because he’s the ultimate lifeform & he feels that tile means he shouldn’t need help.

#⊰ ° ‧: ☢️ * ● ⌖ ° ━◞ OUT OF CHARACTER ⊱#⊰ ° ‧: ☢️ * ● ⌖ ° ━◞ HEADCANONS ⊱#headcanons #suicidal ideation cw #suicidal tendencies cw

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posipops · 3 years

Text

Bored in class. Y'all get more clingy duo hcs

Tubbo is the feral one. Hands down. Fight me. Homie made nUKES for God's sake. Yes Tommy is the impulsive one but Tubbo is more feral. And scary- silent smile when glaring at you type shit. They're the type of friend that would give you the shovel talk in just one glance. Tommy knows this about Tubbo and finds immense joy in watching people fear the smaller one.

Tommy is impulsive, which gets him in trouble a lot, but he's clever when thinking straight. He got some of Wilburs way with words when it comes to getting out of things. That is when he hasn't exploded on someone. Hot head bitch that will actually bite you. Tubbo is Tommy's impulse control but when the taller one is in the right, Tubbo will let Tommy go apeshit.

When Tubbo is in trouble, god forbid hurt, the world just goes numb for Tommy. He can feel himself being worked up but at the same time it's just static. When he does come to it then its hell. Kicking, screaming, hell even biting to get Tubbo back. After the whole incident with Dream, Tommy got even more protective. (If we go down the raccooninnit/tanuki vibes, Tommy has indeed growl at someone)

Tubbo is both the same and opposite. If Tommy is in trouble/hurt homie will freeze up before tearing through all his resources before going to help Tommy. Mans made nukes and you're telling me he wouldn't immediately attempt to grab useful things before running off? Nah-Big Bee will make plans on the way. (If we go down the moobloom/ram Tubbo, he has head-butted enemies really hard. For such a small kid, he packs a shit ton of force.)

Tommy is tall, we know this, and due to that Tubbo has climbed Toms to reach something. Tommy could be standing there in front of a shelf/high chest, ranting about something, and Tubbo will wordlessly use Tommy as a ladder. Like, the two have become so used to this that they don't even really need to mention it to each other.

Tommy frequently picks flowers when Tubbo isn't around bc it reminds him of them. Tubbo frequently ruffles their hair when Tommy isn't around bc it reminds them of him.

Taking one out of the hunger games, Tommy will ask Tubbo true or false questions about the two. Dream's lies still linger so the best way Tommy clears them is by just asking Tubbo. (ex: "True or false, we're still friends" "Real or fake, you didn't mean to loose the compass")

Mk back to class

#tommy and tubbo #tommyinnit #dreamsmp #dreamsmp headcanon #positalks #tubbo

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thegayhimbo · 3 years

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Bill Compton’s problematic relationship with Jessica Hamby.....

This is a post I’ve wanted to do for a long time because out of all the relationships on the show (aside from Sookie/Bill), this is one of the few that bothers me the most. It’s a relationship held up by fans to be this loving father-daughter dynamic. However, when I first saw the show, I was left cold by it, and never understood why people thought it was a meaningful relationship.

Having just finished my rewatch, I can understand why I felt like that: There are MULTIPLE MOMENTS on the show where Bill’s treatment of Jessica is neglectful at best and abusive at worst. Most of the time, Bill either treats Jessica as a burden or someone he can use, and he barely knows what’s going in her life unless Jessica brings it up to him. That’s also including that he’s lied to her, betrayed her, hurt her, refused to do his duty to her as a maker to her unless forced to (or unless he got some benefit out of it), kept secrets from her, and was NASTY to her at various moments during the show. It got to a point where I kept wondering if I was watching the same show as everyone else. It’s especially egregious since plenty of people talking about how this was one of the best relationships on the show (which it isn’t).

In this list, I’m going through all the instances where Bill’s treatment of Jessica ranges from neglectful to abusive. All of them span over the course of 7 seasons, so POTENTIAL SPOILERS AHEAD! The reason I am doing this is to highlight the issues with this relationship, and why I think it’s problematic that the show (and fans) treat this as a good relationship when it’s anything but. Without further ado:

1.) After Jessica gets turned into a vampire, Bill makes a half-assed attempt to get her to drink True Blood instead of teaching her how to feed properly and safely from a human. When this doesn’t work, he dumps Jessica with Eric.

2.) Bill proceeds to leave Jessica with Eric for two weeks (and makes not attempt to ever pick her up) until Eric comes back with Jessica and tells Bill to start doing his job as a maker. One has to question if Bill would have ever picked Jessica up from Fangtasia if Eric hadn't come.

3.) From the end of season 1 till season 3, Bill consistently treated Jessica like she was a burden and an embarrassment to him, even though Jessica was a teenager who needed help and support and wasn’t familiar with being a vampire.

4.) Bill wastes Jessica's time teaching her how to recycle when he should have taught her how to feed from a human. He knows that she can't live off of True Blood, and that she's going to have to learn to feed safely so she isn't a danger to others. He fails to do this for her.

5.) At one point, Bill slut-shames Jessica for her attire, and it's played for laughs instead of Bill being called out for his misogynistic behavior.

6.) When Jessica is kissing Hoyt, Bill grabs Jessica and violently throws her across the room even though she wasn't feeding from Hoyt. There is no reason that, as her maker, he couldn't have ordered her to stop, or just restrained her without using physical violence.

7.) Bill keeps secrets from Jessica (like his mission from Queen Sophie Anne) that puts her in danger. He never establishes a contingency plan with her if she came into contact with a powerful vampire and either needed to defend herself, get away from them, or hide from them. The result is Franklin Mott (a serial rapist) shows up at her front door and her life is almost put in danger because of it.

8.) Jessica is forced to get her first job on her own to make money instead of getting any help from Bill.

9.) Bill was set to release Jessica in season 3 despite being a newborn and barely having an idea on how to feed from someone safely. She also had no training to protect herself from other vampires or humans who wanted to harm her. This is basically the equivalent of a parent throwing their kid out of the house. It’s not okay that Jessica has to BEG Bill to be a proper maker to her because he was doing a shit job at it.

10.) Bill drags Jessica into a dangerous situation against werewolves and a 3000 year old vampire who almost succeeds in killing her. Bill knew she wasn’t ready after only one training session, and Jessica’s life was endangered because of his carelessness.

11.) After the fight at Sookie’s house, the last we see of Jessica is her being chased away by a werewolf. Not only does Bill NOT bother to check to see if Jessica is okay afterwards, he proceeds to have gross unappealing sex with Sookie in the middle of her destroyed house. It’s all about him and what he wants in that moment, and it’s like he completely forgets Jessica.

12.) Bill doesn’t ever tell Jessica the real reasons for why Sookie broke up with him (i.e. that he allowed the Rattarays to beat the shit out of her) and lets Jessica believe that Sookie was at fault for the break-up and that she was a bad girlfriend to him.

13.) Bill tells Jessica that she’s required to be honest with Hoyt even though he isn’t honest with her.

14.) When Antonia breaks free from Bill’s prison and plans to cast a spell that will force vampires to walk into the sun, instead of sending Jessica out of Louisiana to keep her safe so that she wouldn’t be targeted by Antonia’s spell, Bill keeps her with him for some unexplained reason.

15.) Bill refuses to completely silver Jessica when Antonia is about to cast her spell. This results in Jessica breaking free, killing a guard, and almost walking into the sun before Jason saves her. His neglect in that moment almost got Jessica killed AGAIN.

16.) Even after Jessica almost gets killed, Bill STILL DOESN’T SEND HER AWAY despite the fact there’s a dangerous necromancer on the loose who could target her and possess her. He even drags Jessica to Moon Goddess Emporium against Antonia/Marnie, and puts her in danger because of his recklessness. Jessica almost gets killed because of this, but the show never calls out Bill for it.

17.) When Bill and Eric are forced to go on the run from the Authority after killing Nan Flanagan, Bill calls Jessica and lies to her about everything being fine and not to worry. He doesn't warn her that the Authority is coming after them. This is actually dangerous for Jessica because if the Authority had failed to capture Bill and Eric before they left the house, they might have gone after Jessica to capture, torture, and interrogate her on Bill's whereabouts. And even though that doesn't happen, the point is that it could have happened because Bill refused to warn her.

18.) When Bill comes back to see Jessica later in season 5, he lies to her about still being King (which doesn't bode well for Jessica if other vampires try to take advantage of her), he doesn't really bother to check on Jessica to see if she's doing okay and just assumes she is, and he isn't truthful with her about what's really going on: That there's a good chance he and Eric may get killed either bringing in Russell Edgington, or that the Authority may still have them executed for treason. Either way, he withholds this information from her instead of having Jessica prepare for the worst.

19.) When Bill becomes Chancellor in the Authority and joins up with the Sanguinistas, he sends the Authority guards to forcibly escort Jessica to HQ (while also commanding Jessica as her maker to go with them) and tries to force Jessica to convert to the Sanguinista ideology whether she likes it or not. Jessica even pointing out this is exactly how her biological family behaved towards her. He also tries to keep her locked up and isolated to convert her.

20.) When Jessica begs Bill to let her warn Jason and Sookie about Russell and Steve coming after them, Bill refuses to let her go warn them, and makes it clear that he doesn't care if they get captured, tortured, or killed because he just sees them as food at this point. It doesn’t matter to Bill that Jason and Sookie are her friends and are in danger.

21.) In an act of petty cruelty, Bill bullies Jessica into turning Jason into a vampire against his will by sending two Authority guards to make sure she goes through with this.

22.) When Jessica returns after refusing to turn Jason, and later stands up to Bill, he gets physically violent and SMACKS HER clear across the room before having her imprisoned. What makes this worse is that there is no moment later on where he apologizes to Jessica for being abusive towards her. It's glossed over by the show.

23.) Bill leaves Jessica to die at the Authority, and it’s only when he realizes she’s alive that he summons her in the most painful way possible (i.e. she’s puking up blood and feels like she’s going to die if she doesn’t answer Bill’s summons). He later indicates he knows this was hurting Jessica and doesn’t care.

24.) He deflects any responsibility for hitting Jessica and imprisoning her by claiming he’s not the same person that did that. Again, there is no moment on the show where he apologizes to her for his behavior.

25.) Once he manipulates Jessica into staying with him again, Bill/Billith makes Jessica responsible for his emotional well being and his “humanity.” In other words, he knows he’s going to be doing awful things in the future, and instead of owning up to that, he’s making Jessica responsible for being a good person. That is abusive.

26.) He later tasks Jessica with dressing up in a sexually provocative way to kidnap a professor against his will. Putting aside how he previously slut-shamed her for having revealing clothing, it’s pretty gross that he’s now having Jessica participate in his crimes.

27.) He has Jessica lure Andy’s faerie girls to his mansion l(ike one of those creepy Unsubs from Criminal Minds) and tasks Jessica with keeping an eye on them. He makes no attempts to ensure the faerie girls safety, especially since Jessica has a history of poor impulse control. Not even an “As your maker, I command you not to feed on these faerie girls.” And then he leaves her alone with them. Shock of all shockers, Jessica loses control and 3 out of 4 of the faerie girls are dead.

28.) When Jessica is high on faerie blood and consumed with guilt over killing the faerie girls, Bill coldly tells her to sleep it off. He makes no attempt to comfort her or make sure she doesn’t do something stupid (since she’s drunk on faerie blood and not in a rational state of mind), nor does he make any attempt to give his blood to the other faerie girls in a possible attempt to revive them. He doesn’t care. He just found out about Warlow, which means Jessica’s guilt and the deaths of the faerie girls mean nothing to him. The result is that Jessica runs off to Jason’s for comfort, and gets captured by the LAVTF and sent to Vamp Camp. All because of Bill’s neglect.

29.) At the end of season 6, Bill goes off to do a 6-month book tour while he leaves Jessica behind to deal with the guilt of killing Andy’s faerie kids. There is no moment where he expresses remorse for his role in their deaths, nor does he make any attempt to help Jessica heal over the trauma and guilt of what happened.

30.) In season 7, when Bill finds out that Jessica hasn’t been feeding because she still feels guilty over what happened, and that she’s also offering protection to Adylin, this is what he says to her:

“So you are protecting Adilyn? And she is not feeding you in exchange for that protection?”

Not only is Bill completely unaware of Jessica’s mental and emotional state right now (because he’s that neglectful of her), but he lacks self-awareness about WHY Jessica doesn’t want to feed from Adylin: She’s the one that lost control and drained Adylin’s sisters. This idea that Bill perpetrates that Jessica’s relationship with Adylin should be a transaction where she only protects her in exchange for something is so revealing about what kind of person Bill Compton is: Every relationship is a pragmatic transaction for him. Bill only cares about other people when it is convenient for him. And he couldn’t bother to help Jessica when she was struggling with remorse over her actions whereas he felt no guilt over what he did.

What. An. Asshole.

31.) At the end of season 7, Bill opts to kill himself without caring about how this going to affect Jessica emotionally. Keep in mind that in season 4, Jessica had Bill promise not to ever commit suicide again (after he supposedly tried to do so when Marnie ordered him and Eric to kill each other). And once again, Bill breaks that promise because it’s all about him and what he wants. What makes this even more repugnant is he frames this as a good thing for both him and Jessica.

32.) In his final act of being an asshole, Bill pressures Jessica into getting married to Hoyt even though he doesn’t have his memories and they still haven’t worked through the issues that caused their relationship to fall apart in the first place. When Jessica expresses concern about this (since this is all happening too fast), Bill uses the death of his biological daughter (i.e. the same one he refused to save in that season 5 flashback) to guilt-trip Jessica into doing this marriage so that she’ll be “spoken for.” He’s basically shoving his patriarchal (and misogynistic) beliefs onto Jessica.

There are probably other moments that I missed, but the overall gist I’ve gotten from this relationship is that it’s one-sided, and that Bill’s treatment of Jessica is not only awful, it’s emotionally (and in some cases, physically) abusive. There’s this fanon idea that’s gone around for many years that Bill was this wonderful maker and father-figure to Jessica, which is NOT supported by what’s shown.

What makes this problematic is that the show tried to frame this like it’s a relationship we’re suppose to root for. Personally, I’m left cold by it. I can think of many other platonic relationships on this show (Andy/Terry, Sookie/Jason, Tara/Lafayette, etc) that were either better written, more heartwearming, or had meaningful character development that lasted. Bill/Jessica was not one of those. It’s bad enough that Bill’s an awful character who continues to age like spoiled milk, but this relationship he has with Jessica.........................it makes my skin crawl.

Jessica deserved so much better than Bill. She deserved a maker who actually put effort into their relationship with her (and not when it was convenient for them), and Bill deserved to be called out for his treatment of Jessica during the show. I HATE this relationship, and it’s one more reason why Bill Compton is one of the WORST characters I have ever seen on a TV show.

#true blood #tgh opinions #bill compton #anti bill compton #jessica hamby #abusive relationships #bill was a terrible maker to jessica #....and he should be called out for it

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yamayuandadu · 3 years

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Rider of Clouds

A a loose adaptation of the Ugaritic Baal cycle of myths, with some changes and the holes patched up with other myths and historical trivia. It will probably go on and on as some sort of silly “myth crossover” thing. Mount Saphon, the spiritual center of a large but poorly defined area spanning from the Mediterranean Sea to the Euphrates and the residence of many gods, needs a new king. While the former king of the gods, El, favors his distant relative Yam, this decision is not popular with the other deities and would be a disaster for their human followers; however, few dare to question El decisions in public. The exception is Baal, the heir(ess) of El's popular but not very ambitious rival Dagan, determined to take Mount Saphon to the bright future of the late bronze age.

Protagonists

Baal (Hebat) – the eponymous Rider of Clouds (a real title used in myths and cult texts), a young weather deity born to Dagan and Shalash (not pictured), semi-retired agricultural gods who settled in Tuttul on the Euphrates shortly before Baal's birth. Dagan hails from Mesopotamia proper, while Shalash is Hurrian. While the mythical Baal Hadad is male, my version is a woman – the idea started as a joke about conflating Baal from the Baal cycle with Baalat Gebal, a female figure associated with another levantine bronze age city (BG's actual identity is an object of much scholarly debate) being more valid than conflating him with much later Baal Hammon from Carthage (or rather with Roman hot takes about this deity), which happens a lot online, but I got attached to it o now here we are. She nonetheless uses a male title inherited from her father, much like a few historical female rulers did. In my version “Hadad” is only a title (or rather a me, eg. divine attribute), and her real name is actually Hebat. Irl Hebat was, among other things, the name of a goddess mentioned in one inscription as Dagan's daughter, and thus a featureles sister of Baal. As the levantine/syrian Hebat lacks a defined character in real mythology (”another” Hebat was regarded as the Hurrian storm god's wife but was at times replaced in this role by the more interesting sun goddess of Arinna and that's about it; I'm not going to use that one in my story) it should be fine to conflate her with Dagan's best attested divine child, I think? Baal is impulsive and follows a moral code which, depending on the point of view, might be either naive or heroic, which means she's not exactly the optimal person to get involved in n-dimensional divine politics (the ideal person to be the protagonist of an Ugaritic epic poem, as evidenced by history), but that's not enough to stop her from trying; the popularity with humans helps, too. The story documents her rise to the position of the head god of the pantheon residing on Mount Saphon, ruling over Ugarit and other surrounding areas.

Astarte (it should be Ashtart for maximal accuracy but everyone knows the later form of the name better so...) – a goddess of humble origin and no particularly well defined attributes, who attaches herself to Baal initially in hopes of advancing own career, though the two eventually develop a more genuine relationship. She patterns herself after the much more famous Mesopotamian Inanna, seeing her as an ideal to strive for. While Baal has the name recognition and disposition fitting for a major deity, Astarte is the part of the duo actually capable of navigating politics, and takes the title of Face of Baal, negotiating support for Baal's bid with other gods. The image of Baal she projects differs slightly from reality, though not enough for most onlookers to notice. Astarte is also a connoisseur of foreign clothing (as pictured above) and art.

Anat (art courtesy of my girlfriend who sadly isn’t on tumblr but who helped a lot with figuring out a lot about this story) – the younger daughter of the ruling couple of Mount Saphon. Her philosophy differs greatly from her parents' and as a result she isn't really seriously considered for succession. Her hobbies include bladed weapons, gambling and heroic epics; in the past she attempted writing her own self insert one. Her temperament means she was never considered for succession, which she doesn't particularly mind. She's deeply invested in Baal's ascendance, and is probably the god Astarte wants to recruit for their cause the most.

Gupan and Ugar – two minor gods who might be some of the only allies Baal recruited herself rather than with Astarte's help. They play a minor role in the story as her messengers and heralds (just like in the real myth!). They're also a couple. The cuneiform on their coats says “Baal.”

Kothar-wa-Khasis – a craftsman god who, by own admission, only works part time in Ugarit and travels the world for the rest of it. He's kind and dependable and his wares are both affordable and of great quality, but his real motives are hard to ascertain. His real identity is likewise a subject of much speculation among other gods – while his preferred manner of clothing hints at an egyptian origin, nothing is known for sure. His true name is that of the god Ptah of Memphis; he spends most time outside it and incognito because he thinks smaller pantheons on the periphery of Egypt's influence offer more artistic freedom. He speaks in a very poetic pointlessly complex way (basically... imitating the style of ancient poem translations). While an architect first and foremost he a reneissance man - architect, sculptor, engineer, armorer, musician. He isn't very fond of Yam due to the latter's lack of aptitude for art and cost cutting suggestions.

There are actually two gods hiding behind the title “Kothar-wa-Khasis,” with the second one hailing from Caphtor (Crete) from where Kothar arrives when commissioned to build Baal's palace in the real myth. She's shy and refuses to reveal her real name and hides behind the title “Mistress of the Labyrinth” and the labrys symbol. Her arrival is generally a sign of the duo taking a project particularly seriously.

Shapash – El's firstborn daughter, serving as “the torch of the gods”, a royal herald and solar deity. She also handles her parents' “foreign policy” on their behalf, which in practice means figuring out how to placate neighbors whose decisions aren't guided by the need to avoid angering various reviled figures.

Antagonists

Yam (right) – a sea monster more than a god, presiding over the nearby section of the sea and all that dwells in it, including the commercially significant sea slugs. He's also the son of the formerly influential Anatolian god Kumarbi, banished to the underworld by the current head god Teshub due to his many past misdeeds. As a result of his father's past influence over the world (and current influence over the ruling couple), Yam gained El's support and received many titles, which de facto makes him the most likely to succeed El as the king of local pantheon. He's capricious and inconsiderate, but maintains a larger than life public image meant to make him palatable to potential backers. The exact circumstances of his arrival in Ugarit are shrouded in mystery, and may or may not be responsible for his unusually strong hatred of Baal. Mot (left) – profoundly unpleasant and unsociable being kept around by Anat's parents for unclear reasons. He resides in the great offering pit in the abandoned city of Urkesh, formerly the center of Kumarbi's sphere of influence, reduced to a ghost town. While his equivalents in neighboring areas generally view themselves as impartial or as a necessary evil, Mot gets his kicks from posing as a personification of death itself, and is notoriously corrupt. El and Athirat – the ruling couple of Mount Saphon and parents of Anat and Shapash, currently pondering retirement, which stirs many contenders to the throne into action. El is a lifelong opportunist changing views and allegiances as he sees fit, though he pretty consistently favors his distant relative Yam as his main underling ever since the latter arrived in the area.

El was originally Amurru, a courtier of the sky god Anu, overthrown by the nefarious Kumarbi. For unclear reasons Kumarbi made Amurru his vassal and bestowed the name Elkunirsa, or El for short, upon him.

Athirat is largely responsible for El maintaining his title for so long, and is a much craftier politician than he is. She comes from an influential dynasty of sea gods, but lacks dominion over the sea herself.

She and Yam are related, as seen here.

Abduyam – an attempt at developing an obscure figure from the original myth, Yam's nameless and seemingly rather rude and infuriating messenger, into a full blown character. The theophoric name he uses (there are real theophoric names invoking Yam, surprisingly) is just a pseudonym, and his real identity is a mystery. He interned under a variety of famous mythical villains in order to gain a greater understanding of their ways, and currently serves as Yam's messenger, adviser, doorkeeper and punching bag.

Ashtar – a feeble opportunist who sides with Yam, hoping to receive a share in the gains he's making thanks to El's blessings. He's pretty content with playing the role of a toady though his aspirations might be different, as Baal and Astarte suspect due to his love of gaudy imported textiles. Megalomania doesn't necessarily equal malevolence, though. He also loves sea slugs.

Foreign dignitaries

(ignore the ?, it’s just Baal) Marduk (right) – the tutelary deity of Babylon, a prominent and internationally renowned god. While technically the area encompassing Mount Saphon, where the events of the story take place, isn't directly under the control of the Babylonian pantheon, as one of the oldest in the world and the source of the writing it nonetheless has a tremendous impact on smaller neighbors. Formally Marduk is merely a representative of his father Enki and the assembly of the gods in Nippur, but as the old gods are not very mobile, he's the de facto acting head of the pantheon in foreign relations. He doesn't have a unified mythical narrative about himself yet at this point in time, despite his position, which is a source of insecurity for him. During travels, he's assisted by his personal aide and biographer, Nabu (not pictured), and his pet mushussu, Tishpak. Seth (left) – in real life, ancient Egyptians equated many gods of their neighbors with Seth; therefore in Rider of Clouds Seth serves as an ambassador of the Egyptian pantheon, usually residing in Gebal near Mount Saphon – a city whose gods (and human rulers) take pride in trying to be more Egyptian than the Egyptians themselves, and regard Seth as their spiritual liege (under the title “Lord of Lebanon”). While ultimately Marduk's judgment matters the most, Seth gets the right to veto his decisions when it comes to validating claims to local thrones. On good terms with Kothar-wa-Khasis, which is a subject of much gossip among other gods. Teshub (center) – the head of the Hurrian pantheon, technically capable of projecting the most power in Mount Saphon politics due to the Hurrian influence on huge number of other local pantheons, including that of the Hittites, thanks to his marriage to the Hittite sun goddess of Arinna; however, as the local gods for the most part share closer affinity with Mesopotamia than Hatti, he competes with Marduk for political influence. As he and Baal are a very similar type of god, he's the most outspoken supporter of Baal's ascension to the throne out of all 3 foreign dignitaries. El’s support for his nemesis is probably a factor, too.

Kubaba – the head goddess of Carchemish; much like the king of Carchemish served as a Hittite viceroy taking care of affairs of the vassals irl, she acts as Teshub's ambassador in the southeast, mediating between the Anatolian and Syrian gods. She hopes that Baal's rise will normalize foreign relations to the benefit of her human followers – El's erratic behavior and sympathy for a number of widely detested figures made that rather difficult. While she's not much older than Baal, she poses as an ancient deity and dresses like someone twice her age. She also seeks opportunities to insert herself into suitably ancient narratives. In another time and place she'll be known as Cybele, and eventually as the Roman Magna Mater, but this is not the story about it.

Plot-relevant but not present in the story physically

Inanna – the celebrity superstar of every pantheon from Hatti to Elam. After being elevated to one of the foremost positions among the gods she started a profitable franchising business, offering help with setting up own cult system and the right to use the title of “Ishtar” and the eight pointed star emblem in exchange for a share in potential profit and a spot in the franchisee' home pantheon. As her fame is unique even among the greatest of the gods, this isn't that bad of a deal. Other benefits of the franchising program include free tickets to the annual Ishtar meetup in Uruk and a 24/7 tech support line ran by her sukkal Ninshubur. Asides from Astarte, prominent members of the franchising program include the Hurrian Shaushka, the Elamite Pinikir, and the night goddess of Kizzuwatna.

Kumarbi: an agricultural god of the Hurrians who seized the kingship of their pantheon violently before being overthrown himself by Teshub and his allies. Now he resides in the underworld and plots, aided by a network of allies – some opportunistic, some stupid, some simply malevolent. His will is usually carried out by an unspecified number of identical fate goddesses, possible to differentiate only by the numerals on their veils. At the core he and Baal's father Dagan are very similar gods in function, but not in temperament.

#Rider of Clouds

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