#lucius trying to be a good dad

[daddiesdrarryy]

Lucius: Draco, I know we didn't go over this particular type of partnering when we had the talk, which is on me for making assumptions. But since you’re dating Harry Potter, I feel like I need to say it.

Draco: Okay…

Lucius: I just want to make sure you know you need to cast protection charm if you’re having anal intercourse with him.

Draco: Oh, my god!

Lucius: And we can—we can talk about other kind of charms you need to know, and…and if you’re bottoming, then you need to prepare yourself with cleaning charms. I—I heard there are adult toys too, and be careful when you do those activities—

Draco: You are ridiculous! I cannot believe you’re giving me the talk, Father! Stop talking about toys!

Lucius: It’s not that bad, son! When I was your age, I did all sorts of experiments—

Draco: I am leaving!

Narcissa: Stop scaring your son, Lucius.

[miryum]

An arranged marriage with James Potter

Something had happened over the summer that made James Potter the most love-sick fool in all of Hogwarts. Purebloods being purebloods, it wasn’t uncommon for children to be paired up early on to secure the bloodline. While this happened mostly between the old-arching Slytherin families, an example being Lucius Malfoy and Narcissa Black, every once in a while, the other houses would participate too. 

Such was the case with James Potter and Y/n L/n. The L/n’s had spanned generations, stretching back to even the Gaunt’s time. But, such as the Gaunt family, the L/n family had run into some bad luck. Stocks didn’t go the way they wanted or something of the sort and now they were in ruining trouble. 

Euphemia Potter was usually one to scoff at arranged marriages, wanting the children to find love for themselves, blood status be damned. However, the L/n’s were good friends of hers and James had written home multiple times about their daughter. From his letters, it seemed as if the two were already dating. It was a perfect coincidence. Euphemia and Fleamont agreed instantly, lifting the weight of a thousand bricks off of the patriarch of the L/n household. 

However, James and Y/n were not dating. Much to James’ annoyance, the only thing between them was his unrequited infatuation towards Y/n. 

So that’s where the pair found themselves at the beginning of seventh year. Y/n L/n trying to fly under the radar and not draw any attention to herself or the new ring on her finger, and James Potter doing everything in his power to show off their relationship and spoil her in front of everyone. 

It began at the start of the year feast. James had an arm around Y/n’s shoulder the entire time. When a third year nervously asked if the two were dating, staring reverently up at James, the boy grinned and looked to Y/n. “I don’t know, love, are we?”

Y/n pushed James’ arm off her shoulder and indelicately said, “no. Take him.” The third year blushed and mumbled their way out of the conversation as James clutched his wounded heart.

During classes, James would loudly correct the professors from Miss. L/n to Mrs. Potter. It earned him wry smiles from McGonagall and Sprout, chuckles from Slughorn and Flitwick, and a cold glare from Y/n. The students all looked a bit confused whenever this happened, but chalked it up to the usual antics of James Potter. 

In the courtyard or by the Black Lake, James would lay his head on Y/n’s lap, even if she pushed him off or was sitting with her knees up. There were roses on her bed and notes in her bag and it got to the point where Y/n didn’t even question how James had snuck into her dorm. 

If Y/n ever went to Hogsmead, James was sure to follow. No matter what she bought, he would pay for. Even if she got frustrated, he would slip the galleons up onto the counter, grinning at the cashier. He wanted to show her that he could provide for her and give her a nice home. As she would walk from shop to shop, he would point out colours of shops, saying, “oh, that would be a good colour for our bathroom. Look at that little cuckoo clock! Y/n, we have to get it.”

He would follow wherever she went, asking what seemed like meaningless questions. Have you ever had any pets? Do you like the country or city better? Any aspirations for your career? What’s a place you always wanted to visit? Y/n thought nothing of it, but to James, her answers were slowly sculpting his future. Would she want a dog or a cat in our home? Where should our house be? I would like the country so our kids could run around more, but we can easily make the city work if she wants. Should I be a stay-at-home dad? Or could we juggle two careers? Where should our honeymoon be? 

Quidditch games were no better, because after every goal the chaser scored – and he scored a lot – he would look to the stands, find his fiancée, and blow her a kiss. Before every match, one of his spare jerseys would be laid out on her bed, a small note attached, begging her to wear it. She never did and he always gave her a pout when he realised it. And God forbid she didn’t go to the games. Once, she had been studying for an upcoming exam and hadn’t been able to make it. James had thrown a fit. Sirius had to drag him away from Madame Hooch before he secured an entire year of detention, but the boy still refused to get in the air. Madame Hooch threatened to start the game and make Gryffindor play a catcher down, but thankfully Remus and Peter had just found Y/n and dragged her to the pitch. The moment James saw her, he beamed and kicked off, broom now in the air. They had ended up winning. James spent the afterparty with his head on Y/n’s lap, arms reaching up to encircle her waist. He continuously reminded her how awful it would’ve been if she hadn’t shown up and only shut up when she began running her fingers through his hair.

And every night, no matter if he went to bed first or she did, James would always go over to Y/n and give her a soft kiss on the forehead and a whispered, “sweet dreams.” No matter where she was, this became a daily occurance in Y/n’s life. At first, she tried to avoid it by sneaking off to the library whenever James began yawning and tossing around the idea of going to bed. But he would find her. She tried the kitchens, hoping he didn’t think to look for her there. But he would find her. She tried being in a group with her friends, in animated conversations. But he would weave his way through the group, step in front of her, and still say goodnight. It was like he had this magical map that told him where she was at all times. It was bloody infuriating. 

Much to James’ dismay, no progress seemed to be made. At least she was staying faithful to her fiancé, the Marauders reassured him as James griped and moaned. He would sling himself onto a common room chair, conveniently in the earshot of his dearest. Y/n would just roll her eyes. 

The majority of Hogwarts didn’t know what to do with them. The girls would swoon when they heard the new thing James Potter had come up with to woo Y/n L/n. The boys would huff and grumble about needing to step up their own game when it came to their girlfriends. James was setting the bar too high. The teachers would sit around, taking time to sip a well-deserved drink, as they complained how if L/n didn’t soon see the boy that was right in front of her, helpless to his love, then Potter was going to have a breakdown.

Yet, Y/n continued to push him away. James could be patient. He had been waiting practically seven years – he could wait a little more, but he’d be lying if he said he wasn’t hurt whenever she brushed him off. She could’ve said no to the engagement. She could’ve punched or hexed him. It didn’t seem like she truly hated him, more like she was embarrassed and tired of him. 

“I don’t get it,” James said finally one night. He laid out on his bed, long limbs stretching over the place as Peter and Sirius played Exploding Snap on the floor. 

Remus was reading on his own bed. The werewolf sighed, knowing where this was going. “What don’t you get, Prongs?” 

“Why doesn’t Y/n like me?” James murmured, looking at his friends with large, hurt eyes. 

“Mate,” Sirius said. One of the cards exploded, making Peter flinch. “Listen. She likes you, yeah? How else are you able to get close to her? I swear, you were practically on top of her a couple days ago.” He scoffed and laid down a card. 

James groaned loudly and exclaimed, “but I’ve tried everything! Hell, we’re literally engaged! I can’t go through an entire marriage like this. Especially not with the woman I love.”

Peter piped up, smiling sincerely at James. “Hey, I’m sure she’ll realise it soon enough. I think she loves you back. She’s just scared.”

“But I’m me!” James shouted out. “I’m not scary!” He looked around wildly at his friends. “Am I?” he asked pathetically.

“I think if you have to ask if you’re scary,” Remus pointed out, “then you’re not scary.”

Sirius grinned. “Excellent point, as always, Moony.”

Remus sighed and gave James a pointed look. “Perhaps, the best thing to do is talk to her. Since she is your future wife, after all.” 

“I do talk to her!” James argued. “I ask her about her day and tell her about our pranks. She- she responds. She’s very sweet, you know, but she never shows any affection.”

“Maybe you’re pressuring her,” Peter commented. “By being all lovey-dovey. You could try being her friend first?”

James didn’t think he could do that. He already thought of Y/n as his wife. He already thought of her as one of his best friends. But what else could he do to get her to feel the same way?

The next week, James took Peter’s words into consideration. Instead of leaving flowers in her dorm, James asked if he could join her in the library for a study session. Instead of blowing her kisses during Quidditch games, he just waved. Instead of envisioning their future, he focused on the present. 

It wasn’t until three weeks had passed that James noticed the results. Y/n began coming to him with some questions on schoolwork. Y/n waved back at Quidditch games, shooting him a thumbs up in encouragement. Y/n wouldn’t fiddle with her engagement ring nervously, as if worried someone would spot it. 

The girl noticed her changed behaviour too. On a random Thursday, when James came to kiss her goodnight, she paused her conversation and whispered back, “sleep well,” angling her body so he wouldn’t have to reach as far to kiss her temple. Soon after, she excused herself from her friends, flustered. Y/n paced around her dorm, twisting the ring back and forth. 

A knock came at the door. “Hey,” James murmured as he pushed open the door. “Are you okay?”

Y/n turned to face him. “You actually care about me, don’t you?” she whispered. 

James couldn’t help but laugh. “Of course,” he replied. “Why on earth would you think otherwise?”

She shrugged. “It seemed fake, you know? Like this one big prank to single me out. But then you actually seemed excited and willing to marry me, James. Marriage. This is the rest of our lives and we haven’t even kissed!”

James cracked a smirk. He shoved his hands in his pockets. “I can fix that really easily.”

“But you think you’re in this for the long run?” Y/n asked desperately. “For- for the fights? The late nights? The chores? And we haven’t even talked if we want kids or not!”

“Love,” he interrupted her spiral. “Have you thought about the waking up every morning in my arms? The dancing in the kitchen for no reason? The anniversary dinners where I profess my love over and over again?” He stepped forward, placing his warm hands on her arms soothingly. “And if you want, I would love to have mini replicas of us running around, waking us up in the middle of the night because of a night terror. I would love for them to disrupt our dancing in the kitchen by demanding they want to dance too. And I would love for them to groan when they see me being all sappy towards my wife.”

How could any girl say no when James Potter was standing before her, promising her endless devotion? The kiss was slow, James’ lips slowly moving against hers. He revelled in the warmth of her body and how her head tilted to him as he cupped her cheek gently. All short and lovely and sweet, the kisses were exactly how James had dreamed. 

The couple parted and the boy stared down at her. His finger went up to brush her bottom lip before murmuring, “will you marry me?”

She didn’t hesitate. “Yes.”

[pedgito]

wishing everyone a belated happy holidays and early happy new year! december was a hectic month for me so i didn't read nearly as much as i wanted to, but these are the fics i enjoyed in the time that i had. i went through a bit of a series binge early this month, as you'll see below. here's to all the fluffy, angsty, smutty goodness everyone is bound to cook up in 2025!

this key will help you figure out which fics are more your vibe, or if you’re just curious of the contents before you dive in:

smut = 🌶️, fluff = ☁️ angst = ☄️

total fics listed below: 18

✎ — 𝐉𝐎𝐄𝐋 𝐌𝐈𝐋𝐋𝐄𝐑

↝ hook 'em series by @joeloverture — 🌶️

Trying to get back at your cheating quarterback ex-boyfriend leads you right into the arms of his coach. You plan on staying there for a little while.

↝ smooth operator series by @penascigarette — ☄️, 🌶️

You didn't know why Joel was so different from your other clients. His voice was the first thing to catch your attention, followed closely by words so hot they lit a fire within you. Everything he said drew you to him like a moth to a flame; but that's the problem with fire. Someone is bound to get burnt.

↝ limits by @perotovar — 🌶️

So like, imagine a world where bulls evolved to be bi-pedal and can mate with humans, but it’s not a common practice. Don’t think too hard about it, just imagine you’re a new farm hand/stable boy and caught the attention of one of those bulls, okay?

↝ the one you need series by @loliwrites — 🌶️, ☄️, ☁️

When you move into town hellbent on keeping everyone at an arm’s length, your neighbor Joel finds his way into your life.

↝ stay forever by @mrsmando, part one: stay while — 🌶️, ☁️

You & Joel finally reach jackson, and the life you’ve dreamed of becomes reality — with a few twists and turns along the way.

↝ i'm empty without you, so come grow within me by @chronically-ghosted — 🌶️, ☄️

With winter approaching, Joel takes stock of what he wants and what he has in his life. He wants you, but he’s not quite sure he has you, not in a way that only a life in Jackson can afford. Joel’s an old-fashioned guy, so he’s looking for an old-fashioned love…if he can only remember how to do it right.

↝ mr. winter by @kedsandtubesocks — 🌶️, ☁️

You wrote that letter to Santa as a joke (knowing he obviously wouldn’t answer it) until he does - and he comes with a proposition.

↝ through the glass by @murder-wife — 🌶️

Your neighbor, Joel, seems to have a revolving door of dates. He also doesn't seem to have a taste for keeping his curtains closed. You can't help but watch when it feels like he wants you to see what he's doing to them.

↝ but he's the one i want by @wheresarizona — 🌶️

All you needed was to see if your dad’s friend, Joel, had a spare key to your father’s house. Instead, you get railed within an inch of your life on Joel’s couch. 

✎ — 𝐃𝐈𝐍 𝐃𝐉𝐀𝐑𝐈𝐍

↝ shadows by @burntheedges — 🌶️

You were pretty sure the ship was haunted.

✎ — 𝐌𝐀𝐑𝐂𝐔𝐒/𝐆𝐄𝐍𝐄𝐑𝐀𝐋 𝐀𝐂𝐀𝐂𝐈𝐔𝐒

↝ guilty as sin by @ovaryacted — ☄️, 🌶️

Being the daughter of a Senator of Rome has it’s pros and cons, you lived comfortably while constantly being reminded of your insubordinate position in society. However, upon meeting General Acacius, your life changes as you begin to grow fond of him. The question is, will he reciprocate your feelings, or cast you out to suffer your impending doom of unwanted courtship?

↝ fit for a goddess by @ozarkthedog

You wear Marcus’s gold laurel crown while he worships you.

↝ propositio by @gracieheartspedro — ☄️, 🌶️

After assembling an army to win back Rome, you finally get to confront the traitor to your cause. General Marcus Acacius.

↝ foxglove downs series by @whocaresstillthelouvre — 🌶️

In the exclusive realm of elite show jumping, where wealth stretches as far as the polished estates, Marcus Acacius and Lucius Verus are locked in a fierce competition that reaches far beyond the arena.

✎ — 𝐅𝐑𝐀𝐍𝐊𝐈𝐄 𝐌𝐎𝐑𝐀𝐋𝐄𝐒

↝ nut vid with the sound on by @syd-djarin — 🌶️

You accidentally send Frankie a text that he wasn’t supposed to see.

✎ — 𝐉𝐀𝐕𝐈𝐄𝐑 𝐏𝐄𝐍𝐀

↝ helping hand by @/mrsmando — ☁️, 🌶️

You and Javi take a bath together.

✎ — 𝐄𝐌𝐏𝐄𝐑𝐎𝐑 𝐆𝐄𝐓𝐀

↝ reprieve by @hauntedhowlett-writes — ☄️, 🌶️

When angry, Emperor Geta seeks reprieve in his empress.

✎ —𝐄𝐌𝐏𝐄𝐑𝐎𝐑 𝐂𝐀𝐑𝐀𝐂𝐀𝐋𝐋𝐀

↝ death kink by @s-lverwing — ☄️

Devotion between you and Caracalla is measured in blood.

likes, reblogs, and comments keep the motivation alive, so if you’re taking a look at these for the first time, please leave a kind word for these writers or just reblog, even. support your writers <3

[metalomagnetic]

Are there any tidbits or pieces of lore from the It runs world that exist in your head but won’t make into the story? If so, any favourites?

On Halloween, those that wish to be visited by dead loved ones, can put certain candles and herbs in their window, that would allow the spirits to enter the house. Because the veil is thin between the worlds, the spirts can interact somewhat with their surroundings, only for that night. If a witch or wizard are very good at seance, they can even have conversation with the spirits.

(I had a whole thing about Sirius doing this ritual for his dad, when he was 20. He also reminisced about times in his childhood when way too many dead Blacks would visit Grimmauld and cause havoc, but Sirius used to find it funny.)

The forest in Albania where Voldemort fled to (and hid the diadem) isn't exactly random; it is said that it used to house a terrible witch, that it was made a prison for her, and even if she died, long ago, the forest is still cursed, and so not many wizards dare to enter it. The muggles that go there die, too, so the locals have always known to avoid it. When Voldemort first went there, as a young man to hide the diadem, he met a witch that was fleeing justice and they remained in communication for years.

Voldemort can, indeed, speak to dragons, since they are serpents, but he cannot control them. Snakes are always submissive to him, they are drawn to the blood gift of his family, but dragons can only understand him. As a young man, his arrogance made him believe he could control a dragon- he was wrong and still has some burn scars on his shoulder, though he covered them with tattooed runes. Of course, he killed the dragon in question, and kept its heart and horns as trophies- they are in the torture cabin, as all the other trophies.

There was a Black woman that married a Gaunt, back when the Gaunts were still doing alright. Centuries later, old Sirius considered reaching out to the Gaunts for another marriage, because the Gaunts have Parseltongue, a gift he wanted for the Blacks, and because they are pure (in a way not even the rest of the world knows, but old Sirius knew), yet once he saw the current condition of the Gaunts he changed his mind. Ironically, old Marvolo wouldn't have agreed either, because he does not consider the Blacks pure enough (he, like old Sirius, had access to certain knowledge the rest of the world had forgotten). But, for a brief second in time, there was a slim possibility for Merope to be married off to Arcturus.

Voldemort killed Mr Burke for robbing his mother. (this also happens in my one shot 'the customer is always right).

Dumbledore had a crush on old Sirius, when they were back in school.

Orion once killed a man for dancing with Walburga; he didn't tell her about it, she had to read the dude died over a newspaper, at breakfast. She raised her eyes from the paper, shocked, met Orion's cold gaze and neither said a word, as Sirius and Regulus were fighting with food inches away.

Orion and Cygnus once killed a man because he was inappropriate with a sixteen year old Bella. Only Abraxas (who was needed to hide the proof), Druella, Bella and Andromeda know of this. Abraxas told Lucius, when he was courting Andromeda, so the boy was terrified to even kiss her, and Andromeda would mock him about him, called him spineless and kept trying to tempt him into it. Even later, when he was engaged with Cissa, he refused to kiss her or hold her hand until the day they married. It was however, a very short engagement, so he didn't have to wait too long.

[slytherinstag]

Yes Harry is OOC in Cursed Child.

I see this discussion across multiple social media’s, debating whether Harry James potter was OOC in the cursed child. I believe he was and I’ll try to explain why I believe that.

He’s not the only character that was butcher almost all of the adult characters (Ron, Hermione, McGonagall, poor Cedric etc.) were. And I think I know why. To put it simply: ADULT BAD! ANGSTY TEENAGER GOOD! The original series kinda did the same thing. Most adults in Harry Potter were incompetent or just couldn’t help Harry because Harry was the chosen one. Quite literally no other wizard could defeat Voldemort except for him. And due to plot reasons if there was a capable adult then a lot of their adventures would be stopped which would make a pretty boring plot.

CC didn’t seem like it was written from a place of loving or even understanding the characters and yes I do is that JKR wasn’t the only writer. It’s why the best part of CC is Scorpius because he’s an original character we know nothing about.

Let’s start off strong with the most infamous quote from Cursed Child.

To be fair, this isn’t a horribly intentioned as both sides make it out to be. Albus says that Harry not having a father wasn’t unlucky, kinda insinuating he wished he also was fatherless but he clarified he just wished that Harry wasn’t his father. Harry ‘sees red’ and says he wishes there are times Albus wasnt his son. Then he immediately takes it back but Albus takes his word to heart.

And honestly, I know majority of the fandom despise Harry saying it think he’s evil but for one moment I’ll defend CC’s version of Harry. Even if he was a regular dad with absolutely no trauma, Albus hurt him. When you became an adult you don’t suddenly lose all your emotions. Yes, if your son says he wishes you weren’t his dad that could hurt. He’s still human.

But to be totally honest it was still a shitty thing to say and yes it was out of character for Harry to say that.

An argument for why Harry isn’t actually OOC in CC was that he has ‘anger issues’ and his trauma causes him to lashes. Trauma effects people in different ways and that’s not how Harry’s trauma manifests. People with trauma react in this different ways and this is simply not Harry. ‘But in OOTP-’ Not even in OOTP did Harry ever say anything remotely as hurtful to Ron or Hermione, even when he was isolated and ignored in an abusive home he never says that he hated them or denounced them as friends but instead ranted about how much he hated staying at the Dursleys and how they were wrong about leaving him alone.

There’s a reason why many people refer to OOTP Harry as ‘caps lock Harry’ and that’s because he’s not usually like that. Although ‘caps lock Harry’ is my favourite Harry, he’s the anomaly, mostly due to the events of the graveyard and the wizarding world believing he’s a liar and his constant nightmares of that said event, he was also being forced to carve ‘I must to not tell lies’ in his hand etc. etc. Due to this extremely stressful environment it caused Harry to be agitated and constantly on edge.

I hate that the fandom has turned Harry into this hothead which he isn’t. A lot of Harry snark is kept in his own head, most of the times when he’s annoyed with Ron and Hermione bickering he keeps it in his head. I literally can’t think of a single time Harry has ever denounced his loved ones even when it hurt He isn’t vindictive and easily forgave those he loved.

The problem I have with the quote is that Harry Potter would never say that to his child. ‘But he had trauma-’ NEVER. He knew first hand how words could sting you from the Dursleys and as I said, Harry wasn’t careless with his words. His greatest desire was to have a family and when he got that family he suddenly started to be cruel because his son was a little shit? Not my Harry.

Apart from the the infamous quote Harry to using his powers at the Ministry to bend rules- this is behavior worthy of Lucius Malfoy not Harry Potter. Using his power at the ministry to strong arm Hogwarts (REMEMBER HOW BAD IT WAS WHEN FUDGE DID THAT). Insults Minerva by claiming she "Doesn't understand how he feels since she doesn't have kids". This is just insulting to Harry’s character. If there’s one person Harry respects the most out of the entire franchise it’s McGonagall, that was unwavering throughout. He even TORTURED someone for disrespecting her and yet they wrote Harry himself disrespecting McGonagall??? If that’s not OOC, I don’t know what is.

Also the fact that Harry repeats what fudge (an incompetent adult) reinforces that adult characters were written as incompetent for the sake of plot so the teenagers could have an active role which sacrifices his entire character and destroys any likability he have.

He also HATED his fame, in all seven books yet suddenly in cursed child he doesn’t. And he would never, ever bully his kids, wife, and McGonagall with his fame and into his shadow. Why the hell did they write that he liked fame?

Also it’s implied that Harry is prejudiced against Slytherins??? Since when? Didn’t the epilogue in DH show that Harry didn’t care which house Albus was in as Severus Snape, the guy Albus Potter was named after, was the most bravest man he ever met. But suddenly he prejudiced and acting like a literal monster and isolating Albus and believing the crazy rumours about Scorpius. (You’ll never guess who else and crazy and horrid rumours throughout all their years at hogwarts.) Genuinely who is this man.

Oh and the fact that Harry's scar starts hurting again. Which is impossible, since he is not a horcrux anymore.

Now let’s speed run the rest of the adult characters that were also butchered by CC.

Hermione Granger: Choose which sentence describes Hermione best: a) someone who will become the worst teacher just because she didn’t marry Ron, b) someone who is so dumb that she doesn’t even recognize most basic polyjuice ingredient (something she brewed flawlessly at 12), c) someone who stayed single forever because some boy she had a crush on (at FOURTEEN!!!) didn’t act jealous towards her. If you chose none of the above, give yourself a pat on the back. For the sake of the new main character she was dumbed down so that Hermione Granger the smartest witch in the whole franchise could be outsmarted by 14 year olds.

Why is Hermione’s success based on if she could date Ron. Are they seriously trying to convince that Hermione would never achieve her dreams if Ron didn’t get with her. Hard disagree, if the writers ever even tried to write a teen girl they’d know what it’d be a big deal at the moment fur her but she’d get over. As I keep saying she’s only 14!!!

Cedric diggory: one of the most kindest characters. He never felt resentful towards Harry that he had to share being a Hogwarts Champion, defending Harry against those stupid ‘Potter stink’ badges.

So honourable, even though he got there first was willing to lose for honour. Are you expecting me to read this and believe that Cedric Diggory would be a death eater because he was humiliated once… This was probably the second worst mischaracterisations of CC. The most honoruable man in Harry potter becomes a death eater due the most stupidest reasons.

Saving the worst for last: Ron. Ron is not a background character; he is not there for the funny lines and being a cheap caricature of what Fred Wealsey was.

Would Ron “I Am A Chessmaster & A Under-utilised Strategical Thinker, a child solider and ex auror" Weasley barge into a room WITH A WAND POINTING IN THE WRONG WAY???

Would Ron “I Got Poisoned To Death Just Because Of Love Potion Consumption” Weasley gift HIS NEPHEW THE SAME DATE-RAPE DRUG as a joke to get some girls for fun???

Would Ron “I Overcame My Insecurities And Am A Good Man" Weasley get drunk with Neville Longbottom at the pub and be a superficial idiot finding Delphi Diggory a “cracking one" type of attractive in front of his own family??? Siriusly, whhaaaaa???

I dont know what’s worse, the movies which gave all the good Ron lines to Hermione and other characters, and made him a lazy pig or the play, with their obsession of Redeemed Draco and his adorkable son Scorpius by tearing down Ron and Rose Weasley??? You tell me.

(Don’t get me started on Panju Weasley, I think this franchise just doesn’t know how to name Asian characters.)

[spacebubblehomebase]

My Official Hazbin Hotel Stargazers AU Masterpost!

Or the #HHStargazersAU Checklist + MORE!!!

But before all that, here's the general synopsis:

Charline is introducing her first ever girlfriend, Vaggie, to her circus running dad, Lucius Magne. But unbeknownst to them, Vaggie is hiding a big secret: She's Charlie's guardian angel! Tasked with setting her on the right path towards good, but to make things more complicated, the family's live-in hire, Alastor, is actually a demon that's been trying to tempt Charlie's dad to the opposite side! So how can this unlikely pair keep their respective truths hidden when mysteries start to unfold, how do they play house while also playing tug-of-war for Heaven & Hell, and just HOW did they get in this situation in the first place? Well, one thing's for certain, family dinners will never be boring as feelings unravel and everything grand is yet to be revealed. So tune in~!

Or something like that...

So if this summary seems like your cup of tea and you happen to enjoy both Chaggie & Radioapple content, then hop on aboard! Because, let me tell you, the ride I've prepared is so convoluted, I wish I charge people for it, but it's FREE! Unfortunately, all updates usually depend on my schedule and plans for plot may always change. But this semi-serious story of mine follows a loose "artfic" format anyway. A term I use to mean: I write just as much as I draw. So this is both a fanart and a fanfic AU now basically. But everything for it can be found on Twitter, Insta, or Tumblr. I post just about almost the same things in each, so there's no need to look further for more! Though I won't protest if you ASK for more as in the end, this gigantic AU is just a personal project of mine and any support. Be it a little acknowledgement or a major gift of a comment goes a long way to fuel my motivation! Now that the sappy stuff is out of the way though, here's the links to my story and list of future posts that would be regularly updated anytime I remove or add something new!

Relevant Lore List:

Click title to be redirected to the post and some titles are [Redacted] for the sake of avoiding any spoilers...

-A New Day Will Dawn. ✅

-BONUS Interaction (& Ask). ✅

-Color Palette Reference. ✅

-Say My Name. ✅

-Divorce Aftermath (Ask). ✅

-Meet The Magnes. ✅

-The Stargazers. ✅

-Lore sneak peek. (Ask). ✅️

-Shadow Of His Light. ✅

-His Pride.

-Her Joy.

-Close Calls.

-Surprise.

-The Dreamers.

-Phantom Pains.

-[Redacted] The [Redacted].

-[Redacted] That Day.

-A Cold Day In Hell.

-Prelude Promises.

-The Dancing Devil's Circus.

-Blossoming Feelings.

-False Start.

-The [Redacted, Redacted, Redacted].

-When A [Redacted, Redacted].

-The Last [Redacted] Lament.

-Moth To Her Flame.

-A Taste of Temptation.

-Better Than Never.

-Free Fall.

-HerStory.

-Wake Up Call.

-Seeds Of Doubt.

-Mother Knows Best.

-Fuck You, [Redacted].

-Dad Meet Mom.

-With Tax Benefits.

-Dawn Of A New Day.

-The First Stage.

-Reprise Reveal.

-B.U.S.T.E.D.

-A Third [Redacted].

-The Show Must Go On.

+++++++++++++++

Related Posts:

((Asks are answered in between updates, but due to the amount of them, I unfortunately may still miss some. But rest assured I do read them! I just can't get to everyone. TvT Very much appreciate them though!))

-AU Idea Announcement.

-Magnes Are Humans (Asks).

-AU Name Explanation (Asks).

-Author Is Delulu.

-Excited To Spoil (Asks).

-Human Carmilla Carmine.

-Radioapple Dynamic (Asks).

-Alastor's Eyes (Asks).

-Questions About Lilith (Asks).

-Outdated Sneak Peek (Asks).

-Stimming Radioapple (Asks).

-Cryprid Alastor (Asks).

-Flavor Of The AU (Asks).

-Magne Discussion (Asks).

-Artist With Chaggie (Asks).

-Hug Alastor Request (Asks).

-Vaggie UwU (Asks).

-Yep. Still doing the AU (Asks).

-Alastor's Voodoo (Asks).

-Radio Signals (Asks).

-Masterpost Suggestion (Asks).

-Future Animatic Announcement!

-Dynamics & SPOILERS!!! (Asks).

-BONUS Vaggie's "dad" (Asks).

-Radioapple + Art Advice (Asks).

-ALAKAZAM!!! (Asks).

-Update about updates (Asks).

-First AU fanart??? HOLY SHIT!!!

-MORE fanart!!! (⁠≧⁠▽⁠≦⁠)

-Reminded about my AU again. (Asks).

+++++++++++++++

Other Account Links:

((Just in case you want to experience my story somewhere else you're more comfortable with!))

For Blue Sky Account, click this sentence!

For Instagram Account, click this sentence!

For Old Twitter Account, click this sentence!

((Note: I advice y'all to keep on checking the original masterpost on my page and see if it's updated as it may not show the new changes in reblogs. As for my Twitter, because of certain AI policies approved by an "egocentric piece of shit" billionaire, I moved to BlueSky for my own sanity. I hope you all understand. Thanks for reading!))

-Bubbly💙

[siriusblackslefttoenail]

Okay… so this is my first fic and idk how to feel about it. I just kept writing so feedback is welcome, just don't hate on me lol. I tried really hard but I didn't completely proofread it so I'm so sorry if it's messed up in some spots. Also, my first time writing smut so idk I'm sorry if it's horrible. I'm also not super experienced with Tumblr so I don't have fancy dividers or anything :( If someone actually likes what I write I'll figure it out and make it look pretty!!

WC: 7,290

Warnings: SMUT, fast burn there's like no wait time tbh, kinda mentions family death (very briefly), shitty parents mentioned, female character, Bluna mentioned as well as Draco x Pansy, head (female receives), if I forgot any please tell me!!

Summary: Mattheo Riddle meets a girl who captivates him the moment he sees her. She doesn't recognize him until he tells her who he is. The tension breaks and they finally get together!

MUSE

Mattheo knew he was fucked from the moment he knew who and what his father was. Well, he was even more fucked when he had an older brother who was his dad’s right-hand man.

Don’t think that Tom and Uncle Lucius left Mattheo alone because of his lack of respect towards his father. It honestly made his life harder. Always had to sneak out for a smoke instead of just walking through the front door.

Currently, Mattheo is sneaking out through his window from the third floor of Malfoy Manor. He hasn’t yet decided if he wants to go to the roof or leave the grounds completely. The roof would be a safer bet.

Hoisting himself up to the roof he silently thanks his younger self for deciding to join quidditch. He wouldn’t have been able to make it anywhere if he didn’t have muscles.

Finally finding his regular spot he sits and lays his legs out. Takes the pack of cigarettes he’s got from his pocket and lights one with the lighter Theo gave him for his birthday a year ago.

He knew the lighter would soon run out of fuel and he’d need to get a new one. Being in 6th year Mattheo isn’t able to use his wand to light the cigarette so he resorts to the muggle lighters. He has to find a way to get muggle cash though.

While Mattheo’s smoking he hears a door slam. That can’t be good, usually, he’s the one slamming doors. He scoots to the edge of the roof and sees Tom standing on the front lawn. He’s probably looking for Mattheo.

While Mattheo quickly moves back to his spot he hears a girl's voice.

“Dad, I’ll be fine. As I said I know a boy here. He won’t do anything, just figure out your business deal and we can leave.”

Moving back to his previous spot to peer over the roof he sees you. Some girl getting out of a car he doesn’t know the brand of, in this black leather skirt and black long-sleeve top. The top of your boobs spill over lightly showing how tight the shirt is.

Fucking hell, who the fuck is this? Mattheo is questioning whether he should get down or not, that is until he sees Tom walk over to you and shake your hand.

“Tom, it’s good to see you again.” You’re talking to his brother, and you know him? Why doesn’t Mattheo know you? Are you in the same year as Tom?

“It’s good to see you too,” Tom responds and Mattheo watches as the two of you walk inside with your father.

****

Walking into Malfoy Manor I try to remember what Pansy told me about it. It’s old, practically prehistoric as Pansy said. Looking over to my right I see Tom, the same boy who helped me with Advanced Potions last year.

“Thanks for keeping me company while my dad works things out with Mr Malfoy.” I smile at him and he looks at me with the same stoic expression as always. Better than a grimace or a frown I suppose.

Both Tom and I hear footsteps coming down the staircase that’s to our left and turn to see a handsomely built curly-haired boy walk down in black Converse and an all-black outfit.

“That’s my younger brother, Mattheo,” Tom explains, sensing my confusion. Younger brother? How much younger? He’s fucking hot.

“Hi, I’m y/n” I introduce myself as he walks closer. He doesn’t look like Tom at all. Tom is very tall and skinny meanwhile Mattheo is thick and more short, he actually has muscle on him.

“Y/n that’s a pretty name.” He responds shaking my outstretched hand. I smile and give him a small thanks.

“I didn’t know you had a brother Tom.”

“I thought everyone did.” Tom just shrugs and keeps walking to the living room. We follow behind him and sit down on a big black leather couch that’s settled in front of a marble fireplace.

“I’m going into my sixth year,” Mattheo tells me and I smile.

“Why don’t I know you? I’m going into sixth too!”

“How do you know Tom then?”

“Oh, he helped me in Advanced Potions last year.”

“You were in 6th year advanced potions?” While he asks me with wide eyes I just nod and give Tom a smile. He’s not looking at me he’s looking straight at Mattheo. I’m guessing from the tension between them, that they’re not close.

“I play quidditch, I’m on the Slytherin team, I play as a beater.”

“Ah! You’re friends with Draco!” I finally recognize him. He just nods and looks away from me.

“I was partnered with Draco last year in Transfiguration. As well as Nott in Defense Against The Dark Arts!” I don’t know how I never noticed how handsome he was until I was right in front of him.

“Oh yeah, Theo’s my best friend.” Mattheo smiles and scratches his neck.

“Yes, he talked about you a lot. I just didn’t know you were related to Tom or what you looked like exactly. That’s why I didn’t recognize you.” All Mattheo does is nod and I hear Tom chuckle.

“Mattheo is too busy listening to his music and drawing in that silly book of his to even lift his head. I don’t blame you for not knowing who he was, he’s hardly there.” I look at Tom and then back at Mattheo who looks upset.

“What music do you listen to?” I ask moving closer to Mattheo. He releases a wide smile and we start talking about The Smiths and Queen, as well as The Cure. He seems sweet.

“I can’t believe I met a girl who listens to the same music as me.” Mattheo laughs incredulously.

I laugh with him and we notice how Tom got up and left the room. I look at Mattheo and he just shrugs.

“He’s moody. Maybe he’s jealous you’re paying more attention to me.” Mattheo says smirking at me.

“Why would he be jealous? What’s special about me?” I ask, confused

“Because you’re the only girl who talks to him. Well, that and you’re also attractive so it hurts his ego more.” Mattheo chuckles when he’s done talking and I look at him like he’s insane.

“Tom riddle thinking I’m attractive? What has the world come to?” I seriously ask but Mattheo laughs

“Well, it’s very rare to see a girl with Tom so he’ll try to flirt with you but you wouldn’t even know because he’s so bad at it. It must've stung him when you preferred his younger brother over him.” Mattheo is still laughing and I give an awkward chuckle.

“Well, there’s always other people out there for him. Just not me.” I say chuckling along with Mattheo

“Oh, you’re not? Who are you for, y/n?” Mattheo moves his face closer to mine laughing, I get nervous and look away.

“Well, I’m not sure yet but I know it’s not him.”

“Why not Tom?”

“He’s too... uptight and studious. I’m more laid back and I care about my grades but not as much as him. He also doesn’t like muggle things and I plan on living in the muggle world when I graduate.”

“You do? Why?”

“I’m not sure, I think they have brilliant ideas and inventions and I believe the muggle world has more to offer than the wizarding world.”

“I guess you’re right, where in the muggle world would you live?”

“Hmm, probably a big city like New York or Chicago.”

“Oh so in America?”

“Yes, America. I want to go around the States, they have so many beautiful things there.” Mattheo just nods and looks at the dancing fire in the dug-out marble fireplace.

“Y/n let’s go, I’ve finished.” I hear my dad behind me and both Mattheo and I turn to see him.

“Okay, Dad,” I say, rising from the couch and going to stand next to him.

“Nice to meet you, Tom.” My father says to Mattheo.

“Oh no, Dad that’s his younger brother Mattheo.” I laugh slightly

“Oh. Well, tell your brother it was nice meeting him.”

“Yes sir,” Mattheo responds getting up from the couch and walking to the front door to lead us out.

“Thanks, Mattheo, I’ll see you at school,” I say touching his arm lightly before walking out of the house. I swear I see his face blush and I feel heat pool in my stomach. Definitely need to get closer to him.

****

Boarding the train from summer break is always the worst. The station is always too stuffy and cramped. Then you get on the train and it’s even hotter. I’m waving my hand in front of my face in my compartment when the door opens and reveals Daphne Greengrass and Pansy Parkinson, my closest friends.

“It’s so hot in this god-forsaken train. You’d think with magic you could cool down a train.” Pansy complains sitting down and wiping her hairline.

I laugh and try to open the train window. Thank god this compartment has a working window. Both Daphne and I sigh as the window opens.

“Oh thank Merlin!” Daphne says moving closer to the window. We always get closer to the front of the train so we don’t have to see students and their families. It’s always too much noise.

The cabin door opening surprises us all.

“Hey, ladies!” Theodore Nott says placing himself right next to my thigh.

“Oh no no no. No way, it’s too hot in the train for the six of you to sit in here with us!” Pansy says pulling Theo up from his spot and pushing him back towards the door.

Draco laughs and puts Theo back next to me and sits next to Pansy.

“You’ll be alright love,” Draco smirks and places his arm around Pansy. She just groans and rolls her eyes knowing it’s no use trying to tell them to leave. I look back towards the door and Blaise has taken his spot next to Daphne and the wall.

Mattheo stands awkwardly with Tom, both of them looking at me. Lorenzo finds the spot next to Theo and both Tom and Mattheo roll their eyes.

They have to sit next to each other and not even by the window. All of our legs rub against each other as the two of them squeeze in.

“Holy shit, can you move over?” Mattheo asks Enzo and Theo.

“Not really no,” Lorenzo responds laughing. Mattheo groans and sits in between Daphne and Pansy.

“Oh!” Daphne says as Mattheo slightly shoves her into Blaise.

“Sorry.” He mumbles and looks out the window.

“So, how were everyone’s summers?” I ask lightly trying to diffuse the tension in the small compartment.

Blaise and Theo start to speak at the same time and eventually agree Theo can speak first.

“Mine was surprisingly very exciting, I went back to Italy by myself to visit my mother's side of the family for the first time since she passed, and my dad was gone almost the whole summer so I was able to do whatever I wanted without being berated!” I could tell in Theo’s voice he was hurting, he was being sarcastic to cover up his sadness about being alone and his mother passing.

When I was partnered with him last year he had opened up a bit and we would talk. I told him about my dad and he told me about his, he also told me about how his mother passed and it truly was a horrible death. I can’t even imagine how 10-year-old Theo coped with that.

Blaise speaks up next and explains how he had to go to his mom’s wedding for his 4th stepfather. He seems pretty over the whole stepdad thing, I mean if I had 4 I would be too. Blaise tells us how he got to go on a muggle cruise in the Caribbean. They stopped in the Bahamas and Cuba. He at least seemed very pleased with the trip his stepfather provided.

“That sounds nice Blaise,” I say smiling, my summer was pretty shitty but I don’t think anyone will ask if everyone says theirs first.

“How about yours?” Theo asks, everyone turning to me.

“Oh-ha it was good. Nothing special.” I try really hard not to sound like I’m lying but I think they all see through it.

“No seriously y/n, how was your summer?” Pansy asks her leg nudging mine lightly.

“I don’t wanna talk about it Pans.”

“Oh okay, no problem.” I look away when she says this so I don’t have to make eye contact with any of them. I don’t want to talk about the fight I had with my dad or the situationship I had with my neighbor.

I look out the window for the beginning of the train ride. I look around the cabin and everyone is either entertaining themselves or talking with someone. Mattheo is drawing with headphones on.

I lift my foot and nudge his shin. He looks up and I nod my head toward the cabin door, hinting at him for us to go somewhere else. He nods at me and puts his headphones away. I nudge his shin again and hint at him to bring the headphones.

“I’m going to the bathroom; I’ll be back,” I say, standing up and slightly running my hand over Mattheo’s shoulder on my way out. I walk away from the cabin door to be out of sight. I watch as Mattheo gets up without saying anything, sketchbook and headphones in hand.

“What’s up?” He asks following me as I move through the aisle.

“I wanted to be with you one on one, you have a problem with that Riddle?”

“No ma’am,” I smirk when he says that, he’s so sassy. I find an empty compartment (surprisingly) and sit down on the bench to the left of the door, Mattheo sits across from me on the other.

“What were you listening to?” I ask laying my legs out on the bench, sitting sideways.

“Just a mix of mine.”

“I’m asking what song, Riddle,” I smirk at him as he adjusts his position, putting his sketchbook beside him.

“Oh, Bigmouth Strikes Again by The Smiths.” I nod at him and reach to grab his Walkman and headphones.

He lets go of them and lets me put the headphones on, I hit the play button and hear the music through the speakers. The volume is at the highest it could be set to.

“Why do you keep the volume so high?” I ask taking the Walkman off and giving it back to him.

“I don’t know, don’t like hearing anything else. I guess.” He shrugs and puts the Walkman beside him as well. I nod and look at his Converse, there are black drawings on the soles of them.

“What do you draw?” I ask looking back up at him, nodding to his shoes and the sketchbook.

“Not much, just people and landscapes, sometimes random objects.” He shrugs again and looks away from me to his shoes. I can’t tell if it’s out of embarrassment or something else.

“Can I see?”

“What?”

“Could I see your drawings?” I ask again

“Uh sure, I guess, if you want.” He grabs his sketchbook and hands it to me. I open a random page and rest the book on my lap. The page I opened has a bird on it, a raven or maybe a crow. I skip to the next page and see a detailed snake wrapped around an old-looking book. He’s very talented.

“You’re good at drawing.” I look up at him and see the apples of his cheeks turn rosy.

“Thanks.”

“I gotta give credit where it’s due.” I chuckle and move to another page. This one has a girl on it, I haven’t seen her before but I guess it could be anyone since it’s a side profile.

“Do you draw anyone specific?”

“Not really, it’s usually just people I think of in my head. I’ve drawn Blaise and Theo before though.”

“Could you draw me?”

“What?” He stutters in awe

“I asked if you could draw me, if not I get it. I’m not much of a muse but your drawings are beautiful and I’d like to see how you view me. I’ve always wanted to be good at drawing.” I smile at him and hand his book back.

“Um, I’d love to draw you. I could teach you some small things too if you’d like.” I see him get nervous slightly and it makes me laugh lightly.

“You don’t have to be nervous around me Mattheo, I’m not going to bite unless you ask me to.” I joke and give him a playful wink before looking out at the mountains through the window.

“I’m not nervous!” He defends himself quickly and clears his throat. I just give a small laugh and get up to sit next to him.

“I’m not gonna judge you Mattheo.” I move his Walkman and sketchbook before sitting down.

“I know, I never thought you would.”

“I like you. You’re cute.”

“What?”

“You’re sweet, I think you’re cool.” I worded it differently this time realizing that it sounded like I fancied him.

“Oh.” He almost seems disappointed when I clarify myself. I look him in the eyes and this is the closest we’ve been since the beginning of summer. He’s pretty to look at.

He has a scar running across the bridge of his nose and a scar through his eyebrow. I wonder if they have something to do with his dad. I don’t ask because we’re not that close yet and if he wants to tell me he will. I find his scars attractive.

“I like your scars,” I say running my finger over the one on his nose.

“Really?”

“Yeah, they make you look badass.” We both laugh and I trace the other small scars with my finger. There’s one on his cheek and one by his eye. I hope they don’t have anything to do with his dad.

“You’re not gonna ask where I got them?”

“No, because if you want to tell me you will. I won’t push.” He just smiles at me and his big brown eyes almost shine as he looks at me. Our faces are so close his nose is almost touching mine. I clear my throat and move back towards the window.

“We should probably head back.” I hear him say and grab his things.

“Yeah.” I get up and follow him through the train to get back to the compartment. When we get there we see Pansy asleep on Draco’s shoulder and Daphne talking with Theo and Enzo. Blaise and Tom are doing their thing. They all look up beside Pansy when we walk in.

“Where were you guys?” Theo asks moving towards Tom to give me my spot back.

“We took a walk,” I respond, sitting down and smiling at Enzo and Theo.

“Oh okay. Tom told us you listen to the same music as Mattheo.” Draco tells me

“I do, we talked about it when I saw him and Tom over the summer.”

“When were you over during the summer?” Draco asks since they also live in Malfoy Manor.

“It was at the beginning of the summer, my dad had a business deal with your dad so I accompanied him.”

“Oh, I must’ve been with Pansy.” As Draco says that Mattheo confirms and says Draco was with Pansy that day.

“Well, that’s a good thing that someone likes the same things as mattheo,” Enzo says smiling at me

“Whys that?” Mattheo lets out, nudging Enzo with his Converse.

“You get lonely sometimes when we hang out with other people. Like Blaise and Luna, Draco and Pansy.” Enzo responds

“So you’re saying a girlfriend,” I ask Enzo

“Kind of? But you don’t have to date for you guys to be friends. It’s just having someone that’s not us, you know?”

“Yeah, I get it,” I respond smiling at Mattheo. He doesn't meet my gaze.

“We’ll be at Hogwarts soon,” Blaise says looking out the window. I nod and grab my bag from under the seat to put it in my lap.

****

Sitting in the great hall was always lonely because I’m a Ravenclaw and many Ravenclaws don’t like me because of my father’s reputation. I usually sit by myself since other house students can’t sit with each other. It’s a stupid rule, they want us to connect but we can’t sit together? Make it make sense.

I look up from my spot and look for Daphne and Pansy at their table but instead of seeing them, I see Mattheo looking at me. I give a small wave and a smile. He smiles back and it's the first time I've seen him smile. Seeing it now makes me want to see it all the time, I want him to smile constantly especially if it's at me.

I've always thought most Slytherin Quidditch players were attractive. I guess I never noticed Mattheo’s name and more of him physically. He was always attractive I just didn't know who he was directly other than the second Slytherin Quidditch beater.

I rest my head on my palm and wait for Dumbledore to stop talking and start the feast. The first year sorting always takes about half an hour so we sit here for a while before we even get to eat.

It's really annoying, I just want to eat my favorite meal; pasta with vodka sauce, meatballs, and garlic bread.

I feel a tap on my shoulder and it’s a little girl.

“Hello,” I say giving her a confused smile.

“Do you mind if I sit with you? I get it if you don't want a first-year sitting next to you.” This little 11-year-old girl is asking to sit with me and expects me to say no, she's the sweetest-looking kid ever.

“Of course, you can sit next to me,” I reply, and her face lights up and she sits to my left. “I'm y/n,” I say smiling

“I'm Charlotte.” She gives me a bright smile as Dumbledore finishes his speech and the food appears on the tables. She's so cute.

I scoop myself some pasta and meatballs and put it on my plate, offering some to Charlotte. She agrees and tells me it's her favorite.

“It's my favorite too!” I say grabbing two pieces of garlic bread

“Can I have garlic bread- Thank you!” She asks right as I give her the second piece I picked up.

We eat and chat and she tells me about her younger brothers and how she's a half-blood. I nod along and talk when I should.

While talking about the school and classes, I offer to help her around the castle the first couple of days since it's such a big school.

After dinner, we get up and I show her to the Ravenclaw common room, telling her the classrooms and bathrooms as we pass them. I tell her you have to solve a riddle to open the door to the common room and she seemed nervous about it.

That was until we got to the door and she got the riddle before I did. She laughed at me and I laughed back telling her how smart she is.

Look, I know she's 11 and she's almost a teenager but I don't think treating someone so young like they're already grown up is right. I don't want her childhood to end because people expect so much from her.

I grew up in a household where if you didn't understand what was going on it wasn't going to be baby-fied. You had to figure it out on your own. Now, I don't know how to ask for help or admit that I'm not doing well to other people.

So if I can help this one girl know that it's okay to be childish sometimes I'll be happy. As long as she knows school isn't about just learning, it's about finding out who you are and the people who deserve to be around you. It took me too long to figure that out.

I show Charlotte the dorms and we find hers so I can drop her off and let her unpack, I tell her I'll see her in the common room in the morning before breakfast.

Walking out of the common room I go all the way down to the dungeons, it's a regular thing that Pansy, Daphne, and I celebrate the new school year with each other. They're probably bringing their boyfriends so I guess I could ask mattheo if he isn't going already.

I say the password to the Slytherin common room and walk up to the girl's dormitories. Finding Pansy and Daphne’s I knock and wait for one of them to open the door. Daphne opens it and gives me a hug.

“How was dinner?” she asks me while going back to sit on her bed.

“It was good, I made friends with this little first year in Ravenclaw.”

“Awe is she cute?”

“She is actually. She seems very smart.”

“Wow, shocker,” Pansy says laughing while coming out of the bathroom with wet hair.

“We've been over this Pans, being in Ravenclaw doesn't automatically make you smart.” I roll my eyes and sit on Daphne’s bed.

Pansy just laughs and takes black nail polish out of her bedside table.

“Is Draco and Theo coming to the hangout tonight?” I ask leaning on Daphne’s shoulder.

“Yeah, you gonna ask Riddle to come?” Pansy asks wiggling her eyebrows at me.

“I might, he's cute.”

“And super strong!” Daphne says giggling

“He is strong but he's cuter, drawing and listening to music is so sweet. Boys don't do that anymore.” I say smiling at the ceiling thinking about Mattheo.

“Well you should probably go and tell him now if you want him to come.” Pansy says now applying the nail polish to her fingers and toes. I get up and nod.

“Alright, I'll be back.”

Leaving their dorm and walking to the boys’ dorms feels weird. I never go to boys’ dorms. I've never hooked up with any of the boys at Hogwarts so I don't go to the boys’ side ever.

I look at all the metal nameplates on the front of the wooden doors to each dormitory trying to find Riddle.

“You lost pretty girl?” I hear someone ask behind me. I turn quickly and see Marcus Flint.

“Not particularly, thanks, Flint,” I say turning forwards and returning to look for Mattheo’s name.

I finally find it and knock on the door. I hear shuffling behind the wood and then a muffled “fuck”.

Mattheo opens the door slightly peeking his head out and sees me.

“Oh, y/n, do you need something?”

“I just had a question but if you're busy I could come back.” I say pointing back to where I came from.

“No no, I'm not busy. Give me two seconds I have to put pants on.” I nod and he closes the door. Wait, put pants on? Was he pantless while he opened the door? I feel my face flush and I just look at my shoes until I hear the door open again.

I look up and mattheo is in grey sweatpants and shirtless. My mouth salivates just looking at him, holy shit.

“Alright, sorry about that. Come in.” he opens the door wider and kicks something into the closet beside the door.

“Don't be sorry.” I reply looking around his room. He has a triangular Slytherin flag above his bed and a The Smiths poster next to his desk. I smile as I look at it and then turn towards him and the door. The whole wall is covered in sketches that must be from an old sketchbook of his.

“Oh wow. I love this wall.” I say walking closer to it and looking at all the sketches.

“Thanks, they're old though, from last year and even before then.” I nod to his words and remember what I came here to ask him.

“Oh, right, I was wondering if you wanted to come to Pansy and Daphne’s dorm to hang out for the new school year with us, Draco, and Theo?” I feel my cheeks heat up as I ask him.

“Oh, like as your date?” he scratches his neck and I feel regret seep into my bones.

“Um, not necessarily! Just to hang out if you'd like to. I mean you could consider yourself my date or not it doesn't matter.” My face gets redder with every word I speak. I'm embarrassing myself.

“I would love to be your date for a hang out.” he chuckles and I smile at him

“Oh really? Thank god I was so scared you were gonna make fun of me or something.” I say laughing my anxieties off.

“No, I would never turn down a pretty girl's invite to hang out with her.” I blush as he says this and his smile broadens. I love his smile.

“I adore your smile,” I say slightly tilting my head at him.

“Oh, you do?” he asks, self-consciously.

“I do.” I smile

“Thank you.” his cheeks turn red as well as his neck. I rake my eyes across his body and notice the slight bulge in his pants. Fucking hell. He notices me staring and smirks.

“What's wrong y/l/n?” he taunts, moving closer to me. My face warms and I try not to look back down at his pants.

“Nothing’s wrong Riddle,” I respond, I can feel my thighs rubbing together.

“You sure? Looks like you're a bit… flustered.”

I let out a choked laugh and moved backward into his desk. I grip the edge of the table and make eye contact with him. His already dark eyes have deepened and I could've sworn lust was swirling through his pupils.

“Nope, I'm all good Riddle.” I say, standing up straighter. I'm not going to back out and cower that's not who I am.

“Alright, whatever you say y/l/n,” he responds chuckling, hands in mock surrender.

“Are you doing alright?” I ask back to see if I can give him the same effect.

“As good as new, thanks for asking,” he smirks

“You're sure?” I press

“I mean, I'm a bit warm but that's about it.” his smirk deepens now

“Warm how?”

“I'm warm as in overheating, darling.”

“Ahh, see I'm not hot and I'm in a jumper, you're shirtless, what's making you so warm Mattheo?”

“Well, I have a very sexy woman in front of me and she's not taking a hint so I'm getting a bit impatient.” my eyes widen and my cheeks flush even darker.

“What hint?” I ask

“The hint that I want to bend her over and fuck her right on the desk she's leaning on,” Mattheo says with such confidence that I feel my legs weaken.

“You what?” I whisper, completely stunned

“You need me to repeat myself? Or can I show you what I'm hinting at?”

“You can show me.” I look up at him as he stalks closer to me. His large hand grips my waist and I feel his body heat making me flush even warmer.

“You okay with this?” he asks before going any further. I nod and he shakes his head at me.

“Words darling, I need words.”

“Yes, I'm okay with this.” He smiles and lowers himself to his knees. My eyes widen and my legs unconsciously part for him. He continues to look up at me while he pulls my skirt down as well as my underwear.

While I step out of my skirt and underwear I watch him look down at my vagina as well as my arousal dripping down my thighs. His tongue wipes against his lips and he smiles up at me.

“Can I?” he asks

“Yes, please Mattheo.” I practically whine to him. He immediately moves his face in between my legs and licks a stripe on my folds. I lean my head back and whine out loud.

“Ohh gods Mattheo” I feel my legs buckle and his strong arm wraps around my waist to keep me up.

His tongue splits my folds and goes to my clit, while he smears my arousal around his fingers inch up my thigh, and pokes at my anticipating hole. I look down at him and he's already looking at me.

While he laps at my clit his pointer finger pushes through my hole and straight to as far as his finger could go. I moan and rock my hips against his face, needing the friction. He adds his middle finger and my head indistinctly rolls back against my shoulder.

I feel the knot in my stomach tighten and I know I'm close. I beg Mattheo to go faster and he complies. His fingers squelch while pushing in and out of me. This is the most pleasure I've ever felt, what will it feel like when he's in me?

I'm a whining mess until Mattheo pulls his face back and kisses my thighs.

“Noo, go back!!” I beg and try to push my hips back against his face.

“Patience sweet girl. I'll make you feel good I promise.” I whine and wiggle my hips to make his fingers move in me again.

“Please Mattheo!” I beg him and I feel my eyes well up with tears.

He looks up at me with a frown and stands, pulling his fingers out of me causing me to cry out. He kisses me and I can taste myself on his lips. He grasps my waist and picks me up, setting me on his bed.

I look at him and he's untying his sweatpants. Oh, thank god. I tug at his arms and start to wrap them around me. After he's completely bare other than his boxers I lift my blouse up and drop it to the floor.

He moves closer to me and gives me a passionate kiss. While he distracts me he easily unclips my bra and takes it off my arms. Reaching down to put it on the floor he comes back up, hands resting on my breasts. His forefinger and thumb rubbing my nipples between them.

My head leans back while I groan. His mouth comes to my neck and leaves sloppy kisses against it. He starts to suck on my collar bone and I know it's going to leave a mark. To be honest I'm not that upset about that fact.

“Fuck Matt I need you,” I whine grabbing one of his hands off my breast and in between my thighs, trying to relieve the pain of my lust.

“Alright, princess I got you.” his boxers drop, and my hands immediately reach for his cock. While he kisses me again I rub my thumb over his tip to gather his pre cum to lube up his dick. He groans into my mouth and bucks into my hand.

“Fuck, can't take it.” he takes my hands off him and lays me back against his plush duvet. He grips my legs and rests them on each of his shoulders. I see him look around the room and I get confused.

“What are looking for?” I groan, wiggling my hips to his.

“A pillow.” he drops my legs softly and grabs one of his pillows from the top of his bed. He walks back over and puts it underneath my back.

“There.” he says picking my legs back up onto his shoulders and kisses my thighs. I whine again when his tip teases against my clit. I'm getting impatient.

“Mattheo please-” right as I say that he thrusts into me and I feel like I've been split in half. We both let out groans and he leans his head against my thigh.

“Fucking hell,” he moans, sucking onto my thigh

Meanwhile, I'm adjusting to the size of his dick inside of me. I'm panting and watching him suck and nibble on my thighs.

“Move, please” I beg, out of breath, he complies and slowly leaves me before thrusting back into me before I could even register he left me in the first place.

Mattheo sets a quick pace while watching my tits move up and down on my chest. He's mumbling to himself and biting into my thigh until he leans down and takes my left nipple into his mouth. While I'm groaning he takes his left hand and reaches between us to lightly tease my clit.

“Ohhh Mattheo I'm so close!” I whine gripping onto his hair that's in my face. He moves away from my chest and gives me a hasty and wet kiss against my lips.

“Wait baby, can you do that for me?” he asks taking his free hand and pressing down on my lower tummy. His cock bruising my cervix. The action makes me throw my head back and cry out.

“Shhh pretty girl I know I know” he eases upon my clit focusing on his pace and how much aggression he puts into each thrust.

“Can you wait for me, baby?” he asks again, and I nod breathlessly

“Y-es I can, I can,” I whine and reach for him and he picks his hand up from my abdomen and interlaces our hands together.

“Baby, I'm close, where do you want me to cum?” he asks slowing his pace a bit

“I don't care! Anywhere!” I'm so close and him slowing is leaving me on the edge.

“Sweetheart this is your decision.” he's also breathless as he speaks to me

“In me! In me please!” I beg with wide eyes, I feel warm tears run down my cheeks

“Okay, sweet girl.” he fastens his pace and I'm moaning so loudly I already know his dorm neighbors can hear me.

I'm so close, the knot in my stomach quickly coming undone and I squeeze his hand as I cum over his cock. My pussy clenched and it makes him lay his forehead on mine and shoot his load inside of me, painting my walls with a sticky white.

He stays inside of me as we both pant and catch our breath. He's lying on my chest and I can feel his cum dripping down and onto his pillow.

He lifts his head and smiles at me.

“Stay like this,” he demands quietly and pulls out of me, causing me to whine out and he presses a fast kiss on my lips before quickly walking to his desk and grabbing his sketchbook and pencil.

“What are you doing?” I ask sitting up

“No no! I said stay like this!” he pushed me bsck down lightly and sat beside me. He opens his sketchbook and quickly starts to draw.

“Are you drawing me?” I ask incredulously

“Mhm, you're my muse.” he responds without even looking up at me. I feel myself flush at his words and then I feel his cum dripping out and making me sticky and uncomfortable.

“Matty,” I whisper making him look up at me

“Can we clean up first? I feel sticky.”

“Oh shit yeah, I'm sorry.” he drops his sketchbook beside me and rushes to the bathroom connected to his dorm to get a warm washcloth to clean my legs up.

I whine softly at the touch, still sensitive. He shushes me quietly and kisses the bite marks he left on my thighs. They're already turning a dark shade of red.

He fixes himself up and then grabs my underwear and puts them back on me slowly. He walks to his closet and takes out a green Slytherin shirt and asks me to sit up so he can put it on me. I lift my arms and he lets it fall on me. He steps back and mumbles something to himself.

“Hm?” I ask laying back down

“What?” he asks

“What did you say to yourself just now?”

He flushes before saying,

“Oh, I said you looked beautiful in my shirt. You're perfect to be my muse.” I smile and open my arms for him to lie with me. He welcomes my embrace and kisses my neck softly.

“Well, I can pose for you now, if you'd like.”

“Yes,” he says with enthusiasm and moves back to his position from before

We sit there for about 15 minutes in a comfortable silence before he tells me he's finished. He flips the sketchbook for me to see and its probably the most beautiful drawing I've ever seen.

“That's how you see me?” I ask, in disbelief

“Yes, absolutely stunning.” I blush and give him a big kiss on the cheek

“Such a gentleman Mattheo Riddle.” I smile and lean back to lie down on his bed.

“What time do we need to go to Daphne and Pansy’s?” he asks putting his sketchbook away. I sit up quickly with a gasp.

“Oh my god!! I totally forgot!” I say getting up and rushing to put my skirt on.

“Hey hey, it's okay, it's only 10.” I look at him with wide eyes

“We need to go right now,” I say grabbing his hand.

“Aren't you forgetting something?” he asks grabbing my shirt and my bra. I roll my eyes and wave him off

“Why are you acting like I won't be back after the hangout? You don't want me here?” I joke with him but he takes it seriously, eyes going wide and stumbling over his words

“Of course not! I didn't know you'd want to come back!” I look at him and laugh.

“Why wouldn't I want to come back??” I ask in disbelief

He just shrugs and looks away. I pull his arm lightly and remind him we have to go. He nods and we quickly walk to their dorm. We knock on the door and Theo opens it.

“Well well well, look who decided to arrive!” he says opening the door more to show the rest of the group. Daphne looks at the hickey on my neck with wide eyes and gets up to inspect it.

“Umm Mr. Riddle care to explain yourself?” she asks, jokingly

“She's my muse.”

“Your muse?” Draco asks

“Yes my muse, she's the most perfect thing for me to draw.” he smiles holding me close to him while we walk into the dorm.

“I didn't know THE Mattheo riddle had feelings other than anger and boredom!” Pansy laughs at her own joke as well as the others. Mattheo just glares at them and I smile up at him.

“Well, don't let us ruin your fun night! Go have fun, wear protection though!” pansy says getting up and pushing us out of their dorm. She closes the door on our faces and we just look at each other. Mattheo shrugs and picks me up bridal style. I squeal and laugh lightly.

He walks us to his dorm and lies me back down onto his bed against his pillows. He takes the pillow we fucked on and puts it in his hamper. He lies down next to me and pulls me into his chest. I breathe in his cologne and I immediately feel like I'm home.

“Do you feel like you've known me for years or is it just me?” I ask looking up at him.

“No, I feel it too.” he responds kissing my forehead. I feel my eyes get droopy and Mattheo starts to play with the ends of my hair.

“Rest, sweet girl, I'll be here when you wake up” he kisses my forehead again and I feel myself drift off, happy for the first time in a while.

[adickaboutspoons]

Happy sexual Sunday. In honor of Rhys announcing his upcoming substack by pointing at hand-written bulletpoints on a chalkboard with a screwdriver, I want to share the OnlyFans Stede idea that has been in my plot bunny pen for ages, but prolly isn't going to go anywhere. Stede's OF account was set up for him by Lucius, and is completely neutral content of him demonstrating basic auto maintenance and, like, how to tie a fishing lure, and a bunch of other Dad things, and he's completely oblivious to how unintentionally suggestive he's being. Like, he's filming himself working in the garden when it's super hot out, makes a "it's not the heat, it's the humidity" dad joke, strips off his shirt and uses it to mop his brow. He's on his hands and knees, pulling up weeds, and when he manages to pull up a particularly stubborn one, roots and all, kind-of-whispery/grunting-to-himself, "Aww, yeah. That's what you want, baby." Then he sits back and takes a deep drink from his water bottle, and accidentally holds it near his crotch while encouraging his watchers to stay hydrated. Ed is one of his subscribers and finds the whole thing just brain-meltingly hot. Eventually, they accidentally meet IRL, and Ed is trying to be SO COOL and not let it be known that he knows this guy and where from. And then they keep running into one another (by total coincidence - Ed hasn't become a convert to going to the farmer's market instead of just picking shit up from the grocery store on the off (likely) chance of running into Stede while he's there. Not at ALL.), and start becoming friendly. It's during one of these meetings Ed accidentally slips that he's a subscriber. He's mortified. For a moment he thinks Stede is going to get all weirded out. But Stede is just like "Oh! You like the feed? Why didn't you say so?! Always glad to meet my Only Fan!" (Stede has a v. healthy subscribership, but he thinks making the Only Fan joke is Hilarious) Stede asks for his username, and when he tells him, Stede is all "Oh! I know YOU! I can't tell you how much your feedback means to me. Always leaves me feeling all glowy for days!" Ed is all blushy and stammery and, "Uh... yeah, man. Me too." He offers Ed a hug, and Ed is internally combusting. Stede is all "If you've got any ideas for the feed, I'm always open to suggestions. Is there anything you'd like to see me doing?" There are MANY things Ed would like to see him doing. None of which are appropriate to give voice to in a crowded open-air market. Eventually eventually, after many instances where Ed is going crazy trying to figure out if it's a date or just a hang, there would be a v. thorough railing wherein Stede whispers all the tender, affirmational things Ed could ever have wished to hear. So! here's the only bit of it I've actually bothered to write:

The man on the screen smeared a little grease around the tight little hole, then inserted the cylinder into the gap in one smooth, gratifying motion. "There we are," he said, his voice a low, self-satisfied hum, "A nice, tight fit. And doesn't it feel good to do it yourself?"

Ed's breathing picked up pace a little.

"And that's how you replace a spark plug. Nothing shocking about it." He smiled a charming, little shit-eating grin and winked at the camera.

Ed's breath caught in his throat.

"So that's it for this one! Thanks, as always to my subscribers, and a special tip of the hat to this week's new friends," he looked away from the camera and put on a pair of gold wire-rimmed glasses. Ed swooned a little as he read out the names from an actual printed page.

At the end of it, he took off the glasses and looked directly into the camera again, his eyes soft and his smile genuine and kind. "Thank you for sharing this time with me. Lots of love!"

There was nothing explicitly sexual about the CapriSun_Erotica OnlyFans page. In fact, the most shocking thing about it was how roundly wholesome the content was. Just a man and his phone camera and a world of practical advice and dad jokes. An intensely hot man in the tiniest shorts or tightest jeans Ed had ever seen, who seemed allergic to doing up the top three buttons on his shirts, and that radiated so much DILF energy Ed was a little astonished the videos didn't just melt his phone screen. It was the most intensely arousing thing Ed had ever seen.

He eased himself out of his boxers and hit the replay button.

When he had cleaned himself up, he tapped out a quick reply. "Hey DaddyStede, great vid as usual. Really got my motor running. 😘"

[daddiesdrarryy]

‪Lucius: What’s wrong with Draco? He’s been moping in his room for days only muttering about Potter. Is he sick?‬

‪Narcissa: He’s not sick, Lucius. He’s gay‬

‪Lucius: Oh! Is that the ell jee bee tea thing?‬

[greenerteacups]

I love the way your brain works. Thoughts on if there is any reality where canon narcissa or cannon Lucius would disown/disinherit Draco?

Oh okay this is actually such a fun question. Because so much of that answer would hinge on who the next heir of Malfoy is. Does Lucius have siblings? Siblings with children? Second cousins? How distant is the next heir, and are they anything remotely suitable (i.e. have they intermarried with muggles and/or muggle-borns anywhere in their line?) Because the A-case for Draco getting disinherited, as the only viable offspring of two enormous wizarding houses, would be marrying a muggle or perhaps a muggle-born. It's not that it's necessarily the worst thing he could do (even in his parents' eyes!) but it is the only thing that would directly jeopardize the Malfoy line in such a way that makes disinheritance an appropriate solution. Sirius is the only analogy of a disinherited primary heir, but Sirius has a suitable brother and a bunch of closely related cousins, plus he describes himself as "running away" (who knows if that's true). Assuming Draco doesn't do something that clearly breaks with his family, i.e. saying "up yours, mom and dad" and going no-contact, I don't see a disinheritance happening unless he seriously imperils the purity of the line.

But if disinheriting him would give the whole house to a half-blood or (god forbid) someone married to a muggle anyway, there's a good argument that Lucius wouldn't go nuclear, and he'd instead dedicate himself to coming up with legal protections so any muggle or muggle-born wouldn't be able to inherit. My first guess is that Lucius would magically entail the house to the next pure-blood son or daughter of the line upon Draco's death. This is what happened for a lot of historical regency families (it's part of the plot in Pride and Prejudice) to avoid estates passing to women, and by extension, unrelated men who aren't of the family.

The compounding factor is that Lucius and Narcissa do seem to love Draco, and I think would try to avoid anything that would break ties with him, even if he did something they disapproved of. At the point where Narcissa defies the murderous cult leader/demigod breathing down her neck just to see if her son's alive, I think she would do almost anything to keep him in her life (although that doesn't mean she'd be well pleased with him). Lucius is a harder case, because he's a much colder character, but I still think it would be hard for him; he does care for Draco. At the least, he cares enough to go around buying his son quidditch teams and taking him on Evil Field Trips to the Cursed Bargain Shop so they can get some father-son bonding time.

[jadeazora]

Ok, several things!

I like that Sidian, Hamber, and even Coral sense shit stinks about this whole situation and are willing to let Amethio explain himself (at least until Gibeon shuts them down), while Spinel and Chalce, who set Amethio up, lay on those condemnations thick.

Spinel was fine with either option really, Amethio dies, or he manipulates things to make it look like he betrayed the organization.

Gibeon REFUSING to hear his grandson out, saying he's the same (presumably as his father) and that he strayed from the path [by helping Liko and allowing her to leave with Terapagos]. I'm wondering if what caused Amethio's father to leave the Explorers was falling for Amethio's mother and bearing Amethio? (Also, I had a crazy thought of what if he'd hooked up with another of Lucius's descendants--ie, Lucca and Alex. Like, definitely not, they all look nothing alike, but it kinda had me going "wait a fucking second" for a moment lmao) He seemed awfully quick to throw Amethio aside for deviating from the path.

I'm definitely expecting him to start his Zuko arc. Tho more the "reclaiming his honor" earlier parts of it. Kiddo's definitely gonna be fucking up and doubling down trying to get back in Gibeon's good graces. Until something shakes his faith in Gibeon, like learning something HORRIBLE about him, this is all because of Spinel putting him in a bad light. Amethio won't change until the grip his grandfather's got on him is shaken, and it wasn't here imo, he's hurt by Gibeon's words, but they will reinforce his drive to pursue Gibeon's goals.

I wonder when Amethio's dad will show up, like we do need that Armarouge rep to go along with Amethio's Ceruledge. (Or if it'll be something of an Ursa situation, and we only get flashbacks of him.)

Honestly, Ame, it's a toxic family and work situation. He would be better off leaving for good and joining the RVT gang.

[dead-dovediner]

Dirty Little Secret (!dad Lucius x !daughter reader)

triggers/warnings: Use of Y/N, Incest, Sex, Unprotected sex, Fingering, Daddy kink, Dominant-Submissive roles, Underage sex, Just filth in general-

word count: 2011

Dead Dove: Do Not Eat!

You were at Hogwarts all day and there wasn't much to do since it was getting near to one of the breaks where you could finally go home. It was a boring day, except at potion brewing class, Snape decided to subtract points from the Slytherins because you and Fred were causing trouble, as always. 

After classes you went to the girls dorm and started packing your stuff, it was only two days left till the break. Draco said he was already done packing and that you should most definetly start packing sooner or later cause dad will hear about it if not. So with a big sigh you grabbed one of your luggages and sorted out what you can already pack in there. Hours passed and everyone in your room filled in, a few girls packing, others chatting, exchanging the newest rumors and giggling. Gladly after some time you were done with most of the packing and only left out what you needed for these two days ahead.

The days flew by and a few blinks later those two days were gone and you were in a wagon with Draco on the train back to home. Draco was a pain in the ass the whole trip, but you grew up to bear him, he's not the brother everyone would like to have, yet he has his own advantages, which means advantages for you, too.

"Can you just shut the fuck up for once? Someone's trying to sleep here, if you haven't noticed." You point to yourself as you lay on one side of the wagon. You make a mental note to never again agree to be in the same wagon as your brother, or you'll eventually kill eachother.

"I will never understand why dad loves you better- but fine, I'll keep my thoughts to myself. You're no fun." He finally turned away and took out a book to read, you closed your eyes and let yourself float to sleep. However that comment Draco made about you and dad made you smirk before you finally gave in to the slumber.

~~^^~~

When you woke the train already arrived and so you grabbed your bag and luggages then went to search for Lucius, your dad. He was standing near the train station, Draco by his side. They looked so alike, the white blond hair you also had and the green eyes, it was impossible to think otherwise. Lucius waved at you and it made you smile; you always loved your dad. He was the best, well, with you.

The two of you had a secret relationship besides all the family drama, sometimes the two of you would meet up in his office to blow off some steam and forget life for an hour or two. It was always consensual but that doesn't mean it wasn't kinky, you still called him dad or even daddy just to remind him of what you two are doing. He would react wild to it and you loved that, even just at the thought, you were getting wet.

"Hi dad! I missed you-" You walked up and greeted him, along with a small peck on the cheek, 'stay innocent- for now.' your thoughts drifting to those good times, you can't wait for them to be reality again, but you'll have to wait, you can't just french him in public, so you kept those naughty thoughts at bay.

Every minute, second that went by seemed like hours. Once you arrived at the malfoy mansion it was like stepping through the gates of heaven, you let out a sigh and inhaled the smell of your childhood, it was beautiful for one second, of course Draco had to come and ruin it.

"What are you doing shit head?! Are you going to stand there all day? If so let me just hang my clothes on you-"

"Draco Malfoy! Leave your sister alone, I'm sure she's tired from the long ride and does not want to hear you running your mouth. Go to your room, pack out, then go ask your mother if there is anything you could help with, she was whining all week that she needs a man around the house when I'm at work. Be useful for once-" Lucius interrupted him and you couldn't help but grin at Draco, it was a satisfactory to not be under his control whatsoever since dad would keep him away from you. You were his little girl, his everything and Draco knew, not about the sex though.

Draco left to do as he was told and you didn't wanted to waste a single other second, so you practically threw yourself at Lucius. Your hands all over him while kissing, there was hunger in that kiss, he wanted this just as much as you did. It was beautiful, to be so vulnerable and open to him, at last he pulled away from the passionate kiss.

"Darling~ We don't want anyone to see us... Go wait for me in my office, dad will come in a few minutes- be ready for me, sweetheart." A little pout made him smile but you didn't whine and did as you were told.

His office was just as it always was, messy yet sorted through. Your panties were already soaked, needy for daddy's dick. Impatience took over you so you sat in his chair and undressed into lingerie, a few fingers massaging the wet fabric of your panties. You didn't notice when Lucius came into the room, but while you were touching yourself you felt him kiss your neck from behind the chair. A small shiver went down your spine at the thought of him watching you masturbating in his chair.

"Keep going sweetie- I love seeing you like this, so needy, so beautiful for dad..." He whispered into your ear and went back to devouring your neck, placing soft and fierce kisses everywhere. A small moan left your mouth without noticing, the only thing you noticed was that his hand was now helping yours to find the pleasure you were aching for.

His hand slipped into your panty and you made a guttural moan, your body jerking towards his hand by reflex. His other hand coming up to cover over your mouth, muffled moans against his calloused hand were the only sound besides the sloppy sounds of him fingering you. You could feel his breath against you ear as he stood behind the chair.

"Come for me, I know you're almost there, I can feel the way you cling to my fingers-" You didn't need more, but just to make sure you will come, he curled his fingers just right. A single tear slid down your face at the pure pleasure and he licked it off of your face. You rode out the rest of the orgasm, aftershocks hitting you here and there.

"Good girl- now, I need you to give me your safe word, the usual." He praised in that sweet tone.

"Morsmordre. Don't worry dad, I'm sure we'll not have to use it- I've been thinking about this for the last week. No one fucks as good as you do, daddy."  Your voice is breathy, still affected from the orgasm, but he nodded and smirked at you.

"Lay on the table, your back should be to me, let me see that ass." Without further ado you obeyed him, you lay there on his office table, stomach against it and legs apart. "You're so beautiful, my little girl."

He didn't warn you before intruding your pussy, a yelp of both pain and pleasure came out of you but you held your place. He grabbed your hands and put them behind your back, clutching them together with one hand of his as he started to move in you. So you were plastered against the desk, his cock moving in and out of you slowly at first but each thrust became harder and faster. 

"Ah- fuck me dad! Ahm-" Words were hard to form when it felt so good to be under him this way. He didn't needed to be told twice though, and kept up with his pace, his hand sometimes spanking your ass, the sting compensating with the amount of pleasure he's making you feel. The way his hard cock draws out from deep inside you only to be thrusted back again, and again. It's like heaven and hell at the same time, his rough touch besides the fullfiling feeling of getting fucked, like the angels and devils made this sensation too good to be true.

"I heard you are a trouble maker at school. I should punish you for that-" He let go of your clasped hands and pulled out of you before you could reach your orgasm. You whined and stood from the table turning around.

"Snape hates me- I swear I wasn't doing that much trouble."

"That much? So you were causing some trouble, you're a naughty daughter. Dad must punish you now." And with that he picked you up into his arms, your legs went around his torso and you could feel his hard dick between the two of you.

"You will not get to come until you promise me to be a good girl in school!" He positioned himself to your wet opening and thrusted back in, a yelp of pleasure left you but it got cut off cause he wrapped a hand around your throat to keep you silenced. "For now, you'll have some time to think about it..." His other hand was cupping your ass to keep you on him. Your hand ran through his soft and long white-blond hair, he kept thrusting in and out of you, each time hitting that sweet and soft spot that made you shudder; but he never made enough friction to make you cum, just like he said.

He completely cut off your circulation and only let you gasp in precious air so much. It was all too much yet not enough at the same time. A few sloppy minutes passed like that after you nodded viciously, too needy to think about anything else then to finally cum again. He let go of your throat and waited for your answer.

"I-" Thrust. "Promise," Thrust. "to be" Thrust. "a good girl." That was all he needed to hear and he kissed you harsh. The hand that was on your throat before making a descend to circle against your clit, he knew how you liked it, soft and slowly a complete opposite as to how he's fucking you.

Your body needed nothing more to succumb to the pleasure he was denying you of before. Not long after you turned to nothing less but liquid he filled you up with his own fluids. The two of you staying in that position for some seconds, calming down from the pure ecstasy. 

He pulled out of you and not even a second after his semen started dripping out of you, making you smile. With a soft kiss on your forehead he let go of you and opened his drawer, the one that was for the two of you, it always had a few towels and toys, it's like a little secret drawer, full of fun things. 

Lucius went into the adjoined bathroom and came back with a now wet towel, it was cute that each time you two had sex, he cleaned you up and made sure that you're okay. Now was no different either, the wet towel made a soft contact with your skin and it made you tremble just a bit, the sensation so much different from the earlier minutes. With a long relaxed sigh you let him take care of you.

"I love you dad. Thank you." Once he was done cleaning both himself and you, you hugged him. No one knows how good of a dad he is but you, and that made you both sad and happy. Sad because no one will give him credit for being so good to you, and happy because he was all yours, and this was your small little dirty secret. He hugged you back and kissed the top of your head.

"I love you too, sweetie."

[vinylfoxbooks]

25 Days of Jegumas | Day 1 | Day 7 December 8 - Holiday Music | @noblehouseofgay | wc: 657

“We’re home,” Regulus hums, walking into the room with his son in his arms. James doesn’t respond verbally, but there are some sounds coming from the living room, and words that he can’t quite decipher.

There are a myriad of things that Regulus can walk in on with his partner, and most things he has seen already. So he’s not shocked when, of all things, he walks into the living room and James is playing Christmas music loud enough to not be heard from the entryway, but absolutely loud enough for James to be nearly belting too -- which makes sense what he was hearing upon walking into the house. They’re dancing around with a broom, singing into the end of it and twirling around the living room. 

He watches them for a while, smiling gently at their partner’s antics fondly, before he clears his throat to make himself known. James pauses in the middle of their dramatic rendition of White Winter Hymnal to whip themself around to see him, grinning brightly, “Hello the my favourite people in the world.” They do a funny little shimmy dance towards them, bringing their arms to wrap around Regulus’ waist, “My love, light of my life, my star.” They kiss him softly, pulling back and pressing a kiss to a very sleepy Harry’s head, “My world, my baby.” And they bring one of their hands to push little curls out of the way so they can kiss his temple. 

Regulus laughs softly, “You’re in a good mood.” 

They grin, “Christmas music always gets me in a good mood, my love. Was the playdate good?” 

Regulus nods, “Draco is definitely more haughty than Harry, but they warmed up to each other well.” 

“That’s good,” they smile, “It’s been so long since the last time they’ve seen each other. How was Narcissa?” 

“She’s doing well, I can’t tell what’s going on with Lucius, but that’s not my business.” 

They hum, “I see that it tuckered the boy out.” 

Regulus nods, “Mhm, I’m not sure if we should let him nap though, since it’s so close to bedtime.” 

James nods and gently runs their fingers over the little boy’s brow, “We can figure it out. Did you have fun, Haz?” Harry gently nods, eyes lidded with sleep, “Well, we don’t want you going to sleep right now…” they think for a moment before humming, “Do you two want to dance with me?” 

Regulus rolls his eyes but nods, and James moves to his side, wrapping an arm around his waist and pulling him into the center of the living room just as the song switches. Deck the Halls. Where James starts bouncing around and singing loudly, Regulus just bounces a bit, singing as well and trying to keep Harry as awake as possible.

They go through songs like that: You’re a Mean One, Mr. Grinch, Here Comes Santa Claus, Joy to the World, God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen, Up On the Housetop, the list goes on. And eventually Harry begins to perk up, squirming to get out of his dad’s arms and be let down so he can dance as well with the two. They take a break to eat some of the leftovers that Effie left when she came to visit earlier in the day and go back to their listening to music, though they all settle down with a board game that Harry can play.

And when the boy is in bed, after passing out as soon as his head hits the pillow, James and Regulus settle on their couch, the fire roaring. James has turned down their music and switched to the softer Christmas music, playing it low enough that they can hear it but loud enough that it can fill the silence between them. 

“You and your little obsession with Christmas music is something special…”

“Hey, it helped keep our son awake, didn’t it?” They push him with their shoulder.

Day 9

[ofmdrecaps]

12/15-16/2024 Daily OFMD Recap

TLDR: David Jenkins; Rhys Darby; Taika Waititi; Nathan Foad; Leslie Jones; Vico Ortiz; Samson Kayo; Kristin Schaal; Madeleine Sami; Guz Khan; Adopt Our Crew and Save Queer Stories; Fan Spotlight: TinyCrewBigRaffle Updates; Our Glad Means Fanfiction; Never Left Podcast; OFMD Advent Calendar; Loves Notes;

= David Jenkins =

Annnnnnd Chaos Dad is back to his old vendettas against cats!

Source: David Jenkins Bsky

= Rhys Darby =

Rhys was featured in Beat Magazine for his upcoming tour!

Source: Rhys Darby's Instagram

= Taika Waititi =

Taika out in AUS or Aotearoa!

Source: Instagram

= Nathan Foad =

Nathan shared this video made by ourflagonmax about Lucius.. with the message "miss him :')". We do too Nathan!! I attached the video down below!

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A post shared by Our Flag Means Death (@ourflagonmax)

Source: Our Flag On Max

= Leslie Jones =

Leslie is currently in Italy! She's been posting great videos that you can check out on her Instagram!

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A post shared by Leslie Jones (@lesdogggg)

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A post shared by Leslie Jones (@lesdogggg)

Source: Leslie's Instagram

= Samson Kayo =

Some more Samson out Behind the Scenes of the F1 movie!

Source: Instagram

= Vico Ortiz =

Tale of the Transcestors was live for 12/12 - 12/14! There were so many amazing photos taken, check them out below!

Source: ChloeGlowyFlowy Instagram

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A post shared by Donato Fatuesi (@dfatuesi)

Source: Instagram

Source: Germaine Arroyo Instagram

= Kristen Schaal =

Now I don't feature her too often, but I thought it'd be a good idea for this recap because Kristin Schaal (aka Antoinette from The Best Revenge is Dressing Well, and you may also recognize her as Mel from Flight of the Conchords!) was a big part of the What We Do In The Shadows TV Show which had its finale on the 16th!

Source: K. Schaal's Intagram

= Madeleine Sami =

In case you hadn't heard, Deadloch Season 2 is wrapped! Look at these lovely ladies! Can't wait for the next season!

Source: Madeleine Sami's Instagram

= Guz Khan =

Source: Guz Khan

== Adopt Our Crew - Save Our Queer Stories ==

Our friends over at @adoptourcrew shared the initiative of @savequeerstories! Want to help support our cancelled show (or so many others that were cancelled prematurely) their carrd has some great ways to help! https://actforqueerstories.carrd.co./#action

Source: Adopt Our Crew Twitter

== Fan Spotlight ==

= OFMD Buys Boats =

Some more updates from our friends @ofmd-buys-boats!

Source: OFMD Buys Boats Instagram Stories

= Our Flag Means Fanfiction =

A new podfic episode of Our Flag Means Fanfiction is out --"Up, Down, Turn Around" by Shearwater, and read by Andrew. According to OFMFF, this Andrea's first podfic!

Source: Our Flag Means Fanfiction Instagram

= Never Left Podcast =

New episode of Never Left! This week they're talking about Art! There are some supportive visuals to check out as well!

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A post shared by Never Left (@neverleftpodcast)

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A post shared by Never Left (@neverleftpodcast)

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A post shared by Never Left (@neverleftpodcast)

Source: Never Left Podcast Instagram

= OFMD Advent Calendar =

Another set of Advent Calendar doors by our sweet TillyChMo on @ofmdadventcalendar.bsky.social! The 9th Door Features the fantastic @inkirtis!

The 10th Door features the glorious @clairegregoryau!

The 11th Door features the very sweet @cufeilidh!

Source: OFMDAdventCalendar Bsky

== Love Notes ==

Hey there lovelies, things have been a bit crazy with the holidays going on! Will be catching up as I can-- hope you all are staying safe out there! I am trying to get two recaps out tonight, so this first one will be some other folks love notes for ya <3 Take care!

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A post shared by bailey (@anxiety.positive)

Source: Anxiety Positive Instagram

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A post shared by Dani DiPirro (@positivelypresent)

Source: Positively Present Instagram

[believinghurts]

Their Daughter Part 6

Tenison was high in the dining room of Grimmuald Place as the Black brothers stared one another down. Regulus knew that part of Sirius's anger was because he thought he had lost his child to his brother, much like when they were young, and their parents favored Regulus over him. But this was Sirius's own fault; Ali had tried even after she had been hurt that Sirius went to Harry first. Sirius could not get over the fact that Ali was close with the Malfoys and had taken to projecting his anger to the only person who would love him more than anything if he tried.

Sirius wouldn't admit it out loud, but he was jealous of Regulus. He always had been, but coming back from the hell he had been trapped in to find that his own daughter had chosen his brother over him hurt more than any torture he had ever faced. Regulus had always been the perfect child who everyone adored. He had gotten fewer beatings as a child than Sirius, had gotten better grades in school, and now was considered a dad to Ali. It was only natural for Sirius to go back to what he did during his school years and focus his attention on the people who showed him attention. Harry was his godchild, but Harry also had no one else, meaning Sirius didn't have to worry about being replaced. Sirius also felt awful for the events that transpired the night of James and Lily's deaths and was trying to make up for it.

"If you just gave her a chance, you may find she is much more like you than you think." Regulus sat at the table again, watching his older brother run his hands through his hair. "She is so headstrong and stubborn that I know it revivals yours. And I cannot express enough how she just wants to be good enough for you to love, much like how you tried for years with Mother."

Sirius sighed in defeat, regrettting the painful things he had put his daughter through. "I do love her. I just…."

"Are shit at showing it. I saw the look in your eyes when Ali called me dad; I know that hurt you. But instead of talking about it, you just lash out at her or me or Remus, making it seem like you really don't care at all. I never tried to fill that role in her life. I was and will always be Uncle Reg, and that is fine. Do I see her as my child and love her like my own? Yes, absolutely. I will do anything for her, and if that fills that role as a father, I will. But I don't want to take that from you. You had so much stolen from you in your life, Sirius: your childhood, your parents, your best friend, 12 years of your life. The last thing I want to do is take more away, but I cannot and will not put you above her. She deserves so much in this world, and you should help her get it. We both should. But the question remains: will you put aside your 'every Slytherin is a Death Eater' mindset to do so? Because people have changed and we are close to the Malfoys, Notts, Parkinson's, and the Zabini's. They are not the same people anymore. Things have changed in the war; sides have changed. But you haven't. Ali is loyal to a fault and is a great judge of character; she won't betray the Order, nor will the others. Just give people a chance, Sirius."

"I did give people a chance, and it…..it got my best friend and his wife killed. We trusted Peter. I trusted Peter enough to have James make him the secret Keeper. It got them killed, and he was our friend. How am I supposed to trust that Lucius Malfoy has the Order's best interest at heart when my own friend of 9 years didn't?" Sirius started pacing before his brother. His head is cloudy in memories, tears blurring his eyes as his best friend's dead body flashed in front of him. "I know that I'm shit at showing Ali I love her, and part of it is because I'm scared to get close only to lose her again to someone like Lucius Malfoy. I owe it to James to look after Harry, but that doesn't mean I don't love him like my own because I do. But I love Ali just as much, and I know she has you, Remus, and even Snivillious to love her. And I want to try to improve things with her; I just don't know how. How do I fix what I've done, Regulus?"

Regulus caught the double meaning to his brother's question, "You can't. Sirius, you can't fix what happened to James and Lily. You can't fix how you've treated Ali so far."

Sirius felt his heart crack at his brother's words. He had hoped to get Ali back, but it seemed he had gone too far. He started for the stairs when Regulus continued.

"But that doesn't mean you can't fix it from now on. You can't change the past and bring James back, but you can make them proud by loving and protecting Ali and Harry. I mean, yeah, they don't get along now, but I think part of that is because he has seen and heard how you and James treated outsiders. I know they used to play together as babies, not that they would remember it, but Remus told me. Tell how close they were till everything happened, and bring them back together. Stop being afraid of losing Ali to someone when all everyone wants to do is love her and keep her safe. And maybe you don't trust Lucius or the others right now, but I trust them more than Dumbledore most of the time. And you should talk to Moody about the help Lucius has given the Order even if he refuses to say he has aligned himself with us." Regulus held his brother's shoulder, "Give them a chance. Don't let the other kids make remarks about Ali and her friends. Talk to her. I wouldn't start trying to act like her father, but maybe a friend? Or a really distant uncle. You'll figure it out, Sirius; you're smarter than you give yourself credit for."

Sirius followed his brother up the stairs, going to bed with hope, lighting a flame in his heart for the first time in years.

Days following the talk between Regulus and Sirius, Ali noticed that the golden trio had become slightly nicer to her. She does not make as many comments about her or her friends. She had no idea what was happening but wasn't going to complain. Regulus had come to her that morning telling her that he thought it a better idea if Blaise came to their house instead of her going over there. He believed it would show that the Slytherins were not as bad as all the others thought.

At first, Ali was hesitant about the idea. Still, after being reassured that Remus would be home as well as Regulus, Ali agreed. The thought of Blaise being at her house surrounded by her tormentors made her sick to her stomach. She wanted nothing more than to run away for a few days, but that ship had sailed, and it was only hours before Blaise arrived when Regulus called for 'those who live in this house meeting.' By the time Ali had gotten dressed and cleaned her room, everyone was already in the kitchen since it seemed to be the usual gathering place for the group. She straightened her sweater and did a quick glance down to make sure her outfit was still okay. It was slightly chilly in the house, so she had gone with a Bulgarian Quidditch sweater that was mainly red with black details and a pair of cropped black leggings with matching fuzzy socks. She and Blaise had already decided to stay for most of the day and then go and get dinner somewhere in Diagon Ally so she could change later. Remus and Regulus walked at the same time as Sirius and Harry.

"I'm assuming everyone is confused about why this meeting was called," Remus started. "There seems to be an assumption that Slyertians and those associated with them are all Death Eaters or traitors."

Scowls had overtaken most of the younger one's faces in the room, as well as Sirius's. Ali looked at her uncle, trying to figure out where this was going. She knew the reason was to inform everyone that Blaise would be here for a few days, but there was something else going on; she could feel it.

"After speaking with Dumbledore and getting his permission, not that I technically need the permission as it is my house, but nevertheless. A few individuals will be coming to stay here for the upcoming days, and there will be a couple of visitors as well." Regulus's eye caught Ali's, and gave her a wink just as the sound of footsteps entered the foyer. Ali was too short to see over everyone's heads to see who was there, but from the looks on a couple faces, including the elder Weasley, it was someone they were not fond of.

A flash of white hair caught Ali's eye as the group entered the kitchen. Her mouth dropped in shock as she took in her uncle Severus, leading the Malfoys, Blaise, and Theo towards Regulus and Remus. Cissa shot her a wink while Draco eyed Harry and Sirius up and down; Blaise kept his eyes locked on Ali, and Theo thoroughly enjoyed the shocked looks from the Weasleys.

"Sorry, we're late. Draco took too long in the mirror this morning," Severus said. Draco glared at his Godfather before continuing on with his glare at Potter.

"Well, allow me to introduce everyone. This is Narcissa and Lucius Malfoy, which I'm sure almost all of you know. This is Blaise, Theodore, and Draco. Narcissa and Lucius will be in and out for the next bit trying to get caught up on Order business while the latter three will be staying here for a bit." Remus shook Lucius's hand before joining Dora beside Ali, who was bouncing on her toes, overly excited at the fact that it was going to be back to normal in the next couple of days.

"You can't be serious. They are staying here?" Sirius exclaimed, running his hand down his face before glaring at Lucius. "I still remember what you did, Malfoy."

"I don't often agree with Sirius, but Dumbledore said this was alright?" Arthur asked. Ali knew that the Malfoys hadn't been the kindest to the Weasleys in the past, and she felt sorry for them in that aspect, but Lucius was not the same man as he was during her first year. And Narcissa wouldn't hurt a flea.

Remus stepped forward again, "He did. Narcissa and Lucius will be helping with some scooting missions that are coming up since they know that area of town better and are considering joining the Order. The three brats are mainly for Ali, though."

"Did you miss us short stack?" Theo opened his arms for Ali, who jumped straight into them. Theo gave her a twirl before pulling on her braid. She barely had time to catch her breath before Draco had her spinning again and tickling her sides, making her squeal.

"Of course I missed you! What kind of question is that?!" Ali giggled before hugging Blaise despite her uncle Remus glaring at them. Blaise took her hand and gave it a squeeze when they parted before facing the other children in the room. Theo and Draco took the opposite sides of Ali, showing a united front against the ones who had been horrible towards her.

Ali was ecstatic that they were going to be in the house more. Maybe her summer wouldn't end so badly. Sirius was shocked that Dumbledore had cleared this and even more shocked that Lucius would help the Order. He did not trust him and would go on those missions even if he had to go as Padfoot. This was outrageous and downright stupid, allowing death eaters to snoop freely in the Order business. Looking at his daughter, he could see how happy she was to be surrounded by her friends, but he also knew that he would have to keep a closer eye on her than he already was. He had asked the trio to play nice so he had more people watching her. He did trust that she was a Death Eater, and now he was surrounded by them.

"Al, Kreatcher sat up extra beds in your room for the boys. Pansy should be joining later, but she had something come up with her grandfather. Her mother said she would owl when she was on her way." Regulus leveled each of the boys with a look. "You lot know the rules. I don't care if you have fun but clean up after yourselves, and don't be too loud when it gets late. Curfew is at 10pm and no later. If you are leaving the house, go in pairs at least and let one of the adults you know be aware of where you're going. You lot know the food is fair game, and Kretcher has already been instructed to grocery shop more often. The house is also fair game, but be respectful, please."

"Don't worry, Uncle Reg. I'll keep them in line," Draco smirked at the other three before Severus whacked him upside the head.

Ali turned and looked at the younger swarm of redheads and others in the room. She cleared her throat to get the attention on her, which made her take an unconscious step back toward Blaise and Draco. "Everyone, this is Theo, Blaise and Draco. I'm sure most of you know this, but just in case. You are welcome to join our fun, but we get if you don't want to." Ali pulled the boys out of the room after greeting her aunt and uncle. They sat on the living room floor with wizards, chess, and a few other games while a movie played in the background. Kreacher brought out snack trays for them, and the laughter was music to Regulus's ears after all the quiet he'd heard from Ali this summer.

Ali could feel the stares from those around them, most directed at Draco and her. She could see the disbelief every time Draco laughed or made a joke. This was the side of Draco that was rarely seen by others. An hour had passed before a chess match went on between Draco and Ali. Blaise sat to one side of Ali, and Theo was in the middle of her and Draco, watching the death match continue.

"What dare shall I have you do this time, Als" Draco taunted her while he moved his piece. It was an ongoing rule that when she and Draco played wizarding chess, the loser had to do a dare of the winner's choice. It was always a toss-up in who won, as both were incredibly good at the game.

"Don't think too hard; I wouldn't want to overwork that one brain cell of yours." Ali stuck her tongue out at Draco when she stole his knight.

Draco was about to reply when a shadow came over the top of the board. Looking up, there was the eldest two Weasley children and Fleur. Ali could see the hearts in Theo's eyes before she kicked him in the shin. "She's engaged, you idiot."

Bill and Charlie chuckled, "We saw you guys playing games and were curious if we could join you? I have my board and thought we could do a little tournament."

Charlie held up his chess board. The teens all nodded, and with a snap of his fingers, Charlie's board was all set up. Bill took one side of the board before looking at Theo. "You up for a challenge?"

Theo crawled to the opposite side of the small table. Bill made the first move, and the game commenced. Charlie and Fleur took seats around the rest of them and started trash-talking with them, too. Charlie was on Ali's side, whereas Fleur took Dracos. Regulus, Molly, and Narcissa looked around the corner and had smiles spread across their faces at the sight they saw. It wasn't the younger kids trying to get along with the others, but the eldest and Molly knew that her children all looked up to their brothers, so maybe there was hope in this crazy plan after all.

[matchestopetrol]

Gladiator 2 hurts my soul

The thing that really gets me about the inaccuracies in Gladiator 2 is how goddamn lazy they are.

Like there a lot of things I'm willing to ignore for the sake of fun, sharks in the coliseum for one. I just tell myself that if Romans could have put sharks in the coliseum they would have.

(never mind that they coliseum could not have been flooded and they more likely used smaller purpose built amphitheatres...)

Or a gladiator riding a rhino, ok sure go off princeps.

(rhinos in the arena were either shown off and not killed or fought by beastiarii's.)

But what really gets me is the sheer incomprehensible laziness.

Ok so the film opens in 200 AD in Numidia right? that choice alone makes everything that happens after utterly bonkers. They could have changed one date, one! and had the movie make an iota of sense, but no.

In 200 AD Emperor Septimius Severus was still alive and would be alive for another 11 years.

In 200 AD Caracalla would be 12 and Geta would be 11.

In 200 AD Numidia would have been conquered for 250 years.

It's so lazy it hurts.

It also pisses me off because it completely ignores the nearly 20 year rule of Septimius Severus who was considered to be a good Emperor that stabilized Rome after the mess that was the year of the five emperors.

And it completely sidelines Julia Domna, the Empress who after the death of her husband basically ran the Empire because her sons were more preoccupied with being soldiers than good administrators.

Geta was murdered by his brother in 211 AD and then Caracalla ruled for another 6 years after his death.

This movie just annoys me so much, it's so lazy and had such an enormous budget and even overlooking the inaccuracies it was such a mid film that made you care about no one and nothing. The only person who I enjoyed watching was Denzel, and thats because he just chewed the scenery like there was no tomorrow.

Ok so heres a list of more of my petty gripes.

-They call Lucilla the Queen and Lucius a prince, never would have happened, monarchies are a no go in Rome due to so many historical reasons.

-Nice female character ya got there, how about we fridge her?

-You know what better than one queer coded villain, two queer coded villains!

-Why is Rome so drab and colourless, where are the mosaics? The frescoes? The paint ?

-Nice north African characters ya got there, how about we make 'em pasty twinks.

-Oh look it's the praetorian army...? Yeah they're definitely loyal and won't murder an emperor if they don't like 'em.

-Oh look it's a newspaper?

-Look what you've done to Derek Jacobi.

-Nice literal plot armour ya got there.

-Acacius my guy could you try to be even a little inconspicuous?

And here are sone things I liked

-Nice glassware, really quite excellent 10/10 no notes

-Paul Mescal saying "did ya now" and his Irish accent slipping through, loved it.

-The costumes, lovely, I thought the background characters looked even better than the main cast.

-The fights were fun, I liked the boat ramming scene.

-And lastly Pedro Pascal, sad dad redux, the dad who tried to step up, love it.

Alright so that's me, don't waste your money on a movie ticket, wait till it comes out on streaming, meanwhile imma go watch HBO Rome and Spartacus again.