#maddie was struggling with not being able to hands on help people anymore. and now she’s going to likely be helping this girl with anxiety

[sainteddie]

i’m starting to think performance anxiety is a direct nod to careful what you wish for. 👀

[dontforgetabtme]

A Metaphor For Fidelity; Part Two.

very requested. I hope this lives up to expectations but I’m really not sure? I really struggled to come up with a concept for this so I’m sorry if it disappoints💖💖💖💖

ELLIOT X READER, 18+

Never in my life would I expect to compare myself to the death of Anne Boleyn. My head hangs low while I walk to my locker, as if a sword was soon to come in contact with my cervical spine. My cheeks glow red with nerves; the fear of the man I now loathe coming any where near me being on the front of my mind. Similar to Anne, my situation involves adultery. An affair between my lover and his friend causing the sword to ultimately strike down the centre of our relationship with one, effortless stroke.

I rushed to collect my belongings from my locker and leave. Clearing my mind as I did this to ensure no tears will be shed at the sight of Elliot in my peripheral vision. He was stood with Rue: an old friend of mine. Rue and I spent all of our days together when we were just children. The memories of our past are now fading, slowly I realise that the stories of us now take me multiple minutes to remember completely. I’m sure all of Rues friends/enemies would tell you this, but the drugs did not only effect her, my life was altered just as much as hers. She had lived a tragic life - near that of Anne Boleyn.

My day consisted of nothing but two things: going out of my way to find new routes around the school, (so I didn’t accidentally make uncomfortable eye contact with ‘he who shall not be named’) and refreshing my order information on my clothes order. I was reminded by Maddy that it is simply unacceptable to go to my first party single and not have a brand new outfit.

Days like these depressed me. I feel the constant need to be doing something, like half of my mind has run off and the other half is panting, sweating even, to try and catch up.

I looked at my phone and saw the date was May 19th. I made a mental note of this date, for a reason I am unaware of. This date just stuck with me, meaning the events to follow also stuck on my person. Equivalent to the guilt attached to the infamous, Anne Boleyn.

• • •

“Bitch, you are so hot it’s unreal.”

Maddy was known for being a ‘mean girl’ ,but in all honesty, I thought she was one of the most loyal, caring people I know. She had just gone through some terrible things, terrible things that were unfortunately done by a terrible man.

I turned to my reflection in the mirror. An insecure, scared teenage girl looked back at me. Jules didn’t look like I did, Jules was ‘model pretty’. She has a look about her that just captivated you. Her slender figure making all those who looked at her audibly gasp. But she’s just a girl. Who am I to let the girl who slept with my boyfriend make me insecure? Fuck her. Fuck how she made me feel, but, fuck, I was still nervous.

I didn’t have time to think anymore thoughts worth remembering because I was being dragged down the stairs of Maddy’s front garden and into Kat’s car. Loud music accompanied the vehicle, I found myself smiling. I enjoyed smiling; I felt like a relief. A relief from my recent moods. I cant help but feel for those her never saw relief; who’s lives ended before they were able to restore the mess they were involved with prior.

“I’m going to get so fucked up tonight.”

The girls laughed and nodded their heads.

I wandered around the strangers house with my head held high, almost as high as me. I had smoked so much weed that night that I didn’t care what I did. I let boys kiss me, I let girls touch me, but mainly, I let Elliot stand there and watch. Oh, and Jules.

Jules and Elliot stood together the whole night. She had made multiple advances to him but he declined eveyone, instead staring at me with the same expression in his eyes as those in 1536 who felt bad watching the queen become only a head.

I was dancing with a boy I later found out was called Eric. His hands were calloused and tough, his mouth was too rough on mine, and his beard scratched my face in way that made me cringe. The alcohol clearly causing me to go blind. The only thing stopping me from ripping his hand off of my waist was the lasers lined with jealousy that protruded from Elliot’s eyes. I knew he was upset. But I didn’t care. So I lifted my hand and put up my middle finger. I hope he got the message.

“Who the fuck do you think you are?” Her voice made me want to die right then and there. Jules came out of nowhere attempting to be Elliot’s knight in shining armour. She was the epitome of embarrassment at this point. She stood tall in front of me awaiting a reaction.

The room feel silent. The music being the only sound.

I looked up at her with only my eyes. Keeping my head lodged straight. I felt nothing. I felt nothing from stopping me from knocking her out. For punishing her for putting me through nights of crying on my mothers lap like a sad puppy, nights of wishing I could remove me face and replace it with hers, nights that I should’ve spend with him.

Violence would not be a good way to go as I would probably get way to embarrassed and end up feeling way, way worse. So I took the drink from my hands and threw it in her face, it wasn’t the punishment she deserved. If it was legal I’d have her head on a wooden block; id have guards escorting me to my palace where I would sit in my throne and replay the moment in my head time and time again.

I wished she was Anne Boleyn.

As I did this, I saw Elliot leave. As if he didn’t want to be accused as the person responsible for the tension between me and the girl. I walked out to follow him. To get the last word. To let him know that he means nothing to me anymore.

I stood on the stairs next to where he was stood, smoking.

“Your girlfriends in there you know.” I said.

“She’ll never be my girlfriend.” He replied.

I wanted to say “I know”, I wanted to say, “she can never compare to what you had” but I didn’t. I laughed. I laughed a stood up. Standing directly in front of the 6’0 ft man. I laughed again. I kicked him right in his crotch, a grunt followed by a wince of pain escape his lips.

That was when I realised that it’s more fun to play the villain in any situation. Whether it be bad or good, accident or purpose, your fault or theirs.

I realised I’d rather play Henry VIII, than his estranged, unfaithful wife.

[hexensalbei]

do i wanna know

Hi! This fic is heavily inspired by this post (i love you!) and wonderful @on-maars who agreed to beta-read this (she writes too! sooo go visit her blog and ao3 and show her some love!) Enjoy! ❤

Find it on ao3.

Itʼs a very boring, slow shift. Theyʼve been on a few ordinary calls, no dramas this time. Oh, theyʼre not complaining—actually itʼs nice and refreshing that LA for once seems to be careful. It doesnʼt happen often so the 118 really is grateful for this peaceful and sleepy evening. The station is silent. Theyʼd eaten Bobbyʼs macʼnʼcheese earlier (it tasted like heaven) and then most of the team decided to take a nap. Bobbyʼs sitting in the kitchen, talking quietly with Athena on the phone. Theyʼre planning another Grant-Nash family dinner because Athenaʼs complaining that David is working way too much and deserves to fully rest. And she wants to make sure heʼll be able to do it. Chimʼs sitting by the table, focused on his baby book; he takes his dad role very seriously and he wants to be as much prepared as he can. Heʼs still a little nervous because what if he will be a bad parent?, but most of the time he manages to shush these thoughts and focus on the bright side. Henʼs also deeply concentrated on her medical book although sheʼs sprawled on the armchair in a very odd position—she should probably get up and stretch her legs but she doesnʼt have the energy to do it and sheʼll probably regret it soon. She repeats quietly some words from time to time; it helps her remember things. Buckʼs on another armchair; heʼs spread out in  an entirely different—and definitely more comfortable—position. Whatʼs maybe surprising for some people, he also has a book in his hands. Heʼs reading about love languages and it seems like itʼs a very engrossing lecture because thereʼs a wrinkle between his brows and he occasionally chuckles at something.

Eddieʼs nowhere in sight. That heavy, drowsy atmosphere at the station got to him very quickly and he went to sleep. It didnʼt go that well, though. He slept maybe for like 20 minutes but then he woke up and kept shifting positions. Itʼs like his brain just couldnʼt shut up. Lying in the bunk doesnʼt make sense anymore so he gets up and goes to the kitchen. Heʼs not surprised to see  his closest coworkers sitting there. They barely notice him when he decides to take a bottle of water from the fridge. He comes closer and stands across the armchair Buckʼs sitting on. He knows his friend is aware of his presence but he still doesnʼt pay attention to him.

Eddie takes a sip from the bottle and then he clears his throat.

“I have this urge to do something stupid”, he says casually because he hopes his friends would understand.

“Iʼm stupid, do me.”

Thereʼs a sudden change of atmosphere. Itʼs no longer sleepy—itʼs almost cracking with electricity. Four sets of eyes are looking in Buckʼs direction. 

Oh, shit. Has Buck really said those words out loud? Panic starts to creep up in his chest because he didnʼt plan to blurt something like this while his friends are here. Or never. Heʼs convinced he just fucked up the most important relationship in his life. But Eddie is not looking at him with disgust, but with disbelief and uncertainty—as if heʼs not quite sure Buckʼs serious or if heʼs just joking. His gaze is piercing, like heʼs trying to read Buckʼs mind.

Chim slams his book on the table and looks very exasperated.

“Really? In front of my baby book?”

He surely sounds irritated but his face is betraying him. Heʼs been waiting for so long for something like this to happen— maybe not this stupid — but something thatʼd push those two idiots to resolve this sexual tension between them.

Hen, on the other hand, looks very cheerful.

“Iʼm gonna be a hundred dollar richer”, she grins widely.

Bobby doesnʼt say much; heʼs completely fine with only being an observer. Heʼs perfected his poker face through the years so the expression on his face is unreadable. Deep down, he hopes that his boys will talk about whatʼs going on between them and they will get together. He doesnʼt even mind if he loses a little bit of money. As long as Buck and Eddie pull their heads out of their asses.

“Wait, why are you gonna be richer?”, asks Buck and he looks at Hen very suspiciously. He prays Eddie would say something and maybe stop looking at him like this because it makes him nervous and more embarrassed. Heʼs sure that his friend noticed already that his cheeks are probably red by now.

“Oh my sweet, clueless Buckaroo”, says Hen, looking at him with a  rather fond expression. “Weʼve had a—”

The bell rings.

Buck has never hated the bell more.

— • —

The call—itʼs not bad. Itʼs not difficult, nothing that they couldnʼt handle. Just a couple of dumbasses at a party doing stupid challenges. They work almost as well as usually—synchronised, effortlessly, quickly—but the tension between Buck and Eddie is even more noticeable, less bearable  than normally. Bobby decides to separate them; Eddie goes with Hen and Buck works with Chim. It doesnʼt help too much. Hen catches Eddie staring at Buckʼs ass and rolls her eyes. Chim claims that Buckley is the obvious one but he clearly hasnʼt seen the way Eddie looks at Buck now. And itʼs definitely not platonic. Hen may be the one who wears glasses but she definitely sees how they look at each other. She nudges Eddie softly to bring him back to reality and to finish their tasks. When theyʼre officially done with helping there, they go back to the firetruck. Buck sits across Eddie, their knees bumping from time to time but they donʼt share a word. They just... Let themselves  glance at each other quickly only to look away just as fast every time their eyes actually meet. Chimʼs jealous of Bobby because he at least doesnʼt have to witness this awkwardness. He doesnʼt try to bring a topic to talk about even if Henʼs silently encouraging him to do so. They spend the rest of the drive in complete silence. Both Chim and Hen pretend to be asleep; Hen opens one eye a few times to check if either Buck or Eddie made some movements, maybe moved closer or, at least, looked at each other but no. They sit still as if someone froze them. Locking them in a closet is a very tempting idea (it was actually Maddie who came up with it) because all of the 118 and their friends are already so done with them dancing around each other for two years. Eventually, they arrive at the station. Buckʼs not in a hurry to leave the firetruck; heʼs nervous and he bites his lip quite hard, wondering if he should bring the topic.

“Eddie?”, he asks with some hesitation in his voice. Eddie finally looks at him and he only nods.

“Guys, can you—”, Bobby wants to hurry them up but heʼs quickly shushed by Hen. 

“Leave them, Cap. Let them do each other.”

Bobby looks horrified at the thought. He eyes both Buck and Eddie very suspiciously and he points the finger at them.

“You two, no making out in the firetruck! And no sex either!”

Buck nearly chokes on his own saliva. This isnʼt something heʼd expected to hear. Especially from Bobby. He tries to explain itʼs not like that, itʼs not like theyʼre going to kiss each other. Buck only wants to apologize to Eddie for saying something this stupid and hopes itʼs gonna be enough for him. But Bobby doesnʼt stay, heʼs already going to the kitchen, Hen and Chim following his steps.

Theyʼre left alone and Buck finally turns around to face Eddie. His friend has a very weird expression on his face and Buckʼs not sure if heʼs able to read it right.

“Having sex with you in the firetruck  wasnʼt my first thought when I said I wanted to do something stupid”, Eddie confesses and he starts to grin. He hasnʼt moved yet but Buck feels like heʼs so close to him heʼs taking his breath away. Okay, this is something he hasnʼt expected either.

“Then what were you thinking about?”, Buck asks. His voice is shaky, unsure but Eddieʼs smile is contagious.

“Iʼm not really sure. I didnʼt have anything particular in mind I think. But you really caught me off guard and I canʼt stop thinking about it since.”

As he says it, heʼs finally moving towards Buck. He stops when thereʼs barely any space between them. They donʼt break eye contact even for a second; Eddie gently cups Buckʼs face in his hands. He strokes the stubble on his friendʼs jaw with his thumb. They let their breaths mingle, their lips maybe an inch away from each other but none of them moves first.

Buckʼs mind is still trying to process what Eddie has said but itʼs hard to form any coherent thought when he can feel the other manʼs body heat and, holy shit, is Eddie hard because of him?

“If youʼre still thinking about doing me, I think it requires at least a little bit of kissing”, manages to say Buck. Heʼs still not sure if itʼs all real or itʼs just his imagination but he doesnʼt care. He retrieved his usual cocky attitude and he knows Eddie likes it.

“Smartass”, Eddie chuckles but then he captures his lips with his own.

Itʼs far from chaste, sweet or innocent. Itʼs very heated, rushed; the kind of  kiss that makes your blood boil. Buck moans softly when Eddie tugs him closer by the belt and he rolls his hips over him. He hears the belt unbuckling and a Spanish curse when Eddieʼs struggling with unzipping his pants. His mindʼs all fuzzy because of all the touches, the kisses, the heated stares. Because, apparently, itʼs all very real and—

Thereʼs a loud bang on the window.

“I told you, no making out in the firetruck”, they hear Bobbyʼs voice but he doesnʼt sound angry or annoyed. Itʼs more amused than anything. And then, they hear footsteps growing quieter which means theyʼre alone again.

“I need to remind Bobby that no making out rule should apply to everybody, not only me”, Buck scowls.

“Wait, you saw something I havenʼt seen and you haven’t told me?”

“I once caught Cap and Athena kissing here. It was gross, theyʼre like my parents”, Buck exclaims, making a very disgusted expression.

Eddie laughs.

“I think we made sure nobody will try to kiss here again. So... What do you think about the showers?”

Buckʼs only response is to lead him to the bathroom.

[sugarandspace]

Where’s Dad? (Buddie)

Summary: The lights are still on when Buck parks in front of the Diaz house. He stays in the Jeep for a moment, gathering strength to go inside even though he knows that no time in the world would prepare him to deliver the news he’s going to have to tell Christopher.

Warnings: graphic mentions of injury and blood (no MCD)

AO3

For a moment, everything stops. For one blissful moment, Buck’s brain is unable to process what happened right in front of him.

He can’t stop looking at Eddie.

But then Eddie’s eyes fall closed and Buck knows he needs to get to him.

He snaps into action, all his senses coming back to focus in one blink of an eye. Suddenly he can feel his heart beating erratically, can feel the specks of blood drying on his face and he can taste it on his lips and it makes him want to throw up.

It’s Eddie’s blood.

There’s so much blood on the ground and Buck knows he needs to get to him, no matter that they still don't know where the shot came from. He’s not letting Eddie lie there alone.

Dying.

For one blissful moment, Buck’s mind was quiet. But as that moment comes to an end, everything is in razor-sharp focus and he has to act.

While helping Eddie and while in the ambulance with him and Chim, he has a single-minded focus. Help Eddie. Keep him alive. The blood on his face no longer matters because there’s so much of it in his hands as he’s trying to press against the wound while Chim is working next to him. Everything happens so fast but simultaneously it feels like the time is moving very slowly because Eddie is bleeding out and needs to be in the hospital now. 

He knows it only takes them minutes to reach the hospital but it feels like hours.

When Eddie is wheeled in from the ER doors, the time goes back to moving slowly.

Buck feels off-balance, like there’s a fog in his mind. All that determination to help Eddie no longer has an outlet, and Buck finds himself unsure of what he should do now. Chim leads him to the bathroom. Helps him wash away all the blood. Finds him a clean shirt that Buck recognizes as the type the nurses wear.

The waiting room is full of people. Bobby must have notified Eddie’s family since Abuela and Pepa arrive not long after the rest of the team has found their seats in the room. Maddie is there too, and her comforting hand on Buck’s shoulder is the only thing that keeps Buck from falling apart. She tried to talk to him when she first arrived, probably having heard what happened from Chim, but eventually stopped when it became obvious Buck wasn’t going to talk. 

The room is full of people, but you could hear a pin drop in the silence that has fallen over the terrified group.

A big portion of the fear disappears when the doctor tells them that the surgery went fine, that Eddie is stable and is expected to have a full recovery. Buck’s heart calms a little, the pressure around his lungs easing up and letting him draw in a deep breath for the first time in hours.

They are allowed to visit him, but the doctor warns them that the medication they gave to Eddie is strong, and he will be sleeping until morning. Abuela and Pepa are the first ones allowed into the room and Buck really doesn’t know to expect it when Abuela walks over to him and takes his hand, leading him in with the two women. Buck wants to thank her but his throat is blocked with emotion. It seems like she understands as she smiles at him warmly.

It’s a relief when Buck is finally able to see Eddie. He looks pale and frail in the hospital bed and he’s lying so motionlessly that Buck would be terrified if it weren’t for the steady beeping of the heart monitor next to him. They stay in the room for a while, and he wants nothing more than to stay until Eddie wakes up, but there’s something he needs to do, someone who doesn’t yet know what happened to Eddie today.

The drive back to the station to change his clothes and retrieve his car goes in a blur as Buck tries to come up with a way to tell Christopher what happened to his father today. How do you tell a child that their father got shot?

Christopher was still little when Eddie was in the army, not fully understanding the dangers brought in by a warzone. Christopher knows that his father’s current job can be dangerous at times, but getting shot shouldn’t be one of the things they’d need to worry about anymore. 

But it happened, and Buck feels like he should be the one telling Christopher.

The lights are still on when Buck parks in front of the Diaz house. He stays in the Jeep for a moment, gathering strength to go inside even though he knows that no time in the world would prepare him to deliver the news he’s going to have to tell Christopher.

When Buck walks in, Carla finds him before he’s able to fully take off his shoes. As soon as he straightens up he’s pulled to a strong hug and it feels like Carla’s warm and comforting embrace is able to put some parts of his frayed heart back together. He can’t help but let out a sniffle, to which Carla responds by squeezing him harder.

“I know honey,” she says. “I know.”

They are interrupted by Christopher’s voice from the living room.

“Dad?”

It sends a pain so strong through Buck’s heart that he thinks he’s going to crumble right there.

“He doesn’t know anything,” Carla confirms. It’s what they agreed on. Christopher shouldn’t have to spend half of the day worrying when there was nothing they could do. It was better to wait until they knew Eddie was going to be okay.

It’s still going to be difficult, but at least he can tell Christopher that his father will be okay, that the dangerous part is over.

Buck refuses to spare thoughts to how differently this evening could have gone.

“Do you want me to stay?” Carla asks. 

“No,” Buck says. His voice is rough from disuse. “Thank you for staying with him today.”

“You know you don’t need to thank me,” Carla says. “I love that boy. And I can stay if you need me to.”

“No,” Buck says. He appreciates the offer but it isn't needed. “It’s okay. Go be with your family.”

“If you’re sure,” Carla says. “But I’m only a call away if you need me.”

“Thank you, Carla,” Buck says. They hug again before Carla moves to the living room to say goodbye to Christopher. Buck uses the time to take a couple more deep breaths in the hallway. As Carla walks past him she reaches up to squeeze his shoulder.

“He’s going to be fine,” Carla says. “They both are. These boys are strong and they have you to help them.”

Carla’s last words are kind but Buck is struggling to accept them. There was absolutely nothing he could do to keep Eddie safe today. They are partners and they are supposed to watch each other’s backs while out on a call. Buck knows that what happened today was out of his control, and he’s getting better at not blaming himself for things like that, but at the moment everything is still a little too fresh for him to think rationally. He thinks briefly of how he should make an emergency appointment with doctor Copeland tomorrow.

“Goodnight Carla,” he says and musters up a small smile. He really is grateful for the faith she has in him, and the optimism he has about Christopher and Eddie.

“Night Buck,” she says, and then she’s out of the door.

Buck takes a deep breath and walks into the living room, finding Christopher on the couch watching a movie. It’s a little past his normal bedtime, but he doesn’t seem suspicious of being allowed to stay up later. When he hears Buck walk into the room he turns to look at him.

“Buck!” He says happily. “I didn’t know you were coming too!”

“Hi buddy,” Buck says.

“Wait,” Christopher says. “Where’s dad?”

He must have realised that his father should have been in the living room by now, greeting him with Buck and talking about bedtime. But it’s only Buck, and Buck knows that he looks a little worse for wear.

“Christopher,” Buck starts but Christopher keeps talking before Buck can say anything more. He gets up from the couch and starts moving towards Buck. 

“Where’s dad?”Christopher asks as he stops in front of Buck, leaning on his crutches. His tone is confused and a little bit scared. He’s a smart kid, he knows something is wrong.

Buck kneels so he’s on the same level as Christopher. His words are quiet as he speaks.

“Your dad is not coming home tonight.”

“Why?” Christopher asks, his words slow. It’s like he’s scared to hear the answer.

“Something happened at work,” Buck says. “Your dad was helping someone and he got hurt. He needs to stay in the hospital for a few days.”

“Is he okay?” Christopher asks. Buck can see tears welling up in his eyes and his voice comes out wobbly. Buck tries his best to control his own emotions because he needs to be strong for Christopher.

“He will be,” Buck says. “I can take you to see him tomorrow if you want to.”

Christopher nods and the tears fall over. Buck pulls him into a hug when he starts crying, the crutches clattering to the floor.

“He’s not going to go away? Like mom?” Christopher asks between sobs and Buck is immediately reminded of a conversation they had weeks ago. Buck closes his own eyes tightly as he holds Christopher close.

“No,” Buck replies, making sure that his tone is steady and sure. “The doctor said he’s going to be okay. He’s just sleeping right now. He’s going to be okay.” 

The reminder is as much for himself as it is for Christopher.

Christopher nods against his shoulder but keeps crying. He’s unsteady on his feet and the position is starting to hurt Buck’s back, so he picks Christopher up and carries him to the couch. When Buck sets him down, Christopher doesn’t let go, so Buck sits down next to him and settles them in a way that’s comfortable, Christopher’s arms around his neck as Buck tries to help him calm down by brushing his hand up and down Christopher’s back.

Buck thinks about how he hasn’t even told Christopher what happened to Eddie, but as he feels Christopher’s crying calm down and the sobs turn to hiccups, he doesn’t have the heart to tell him more tonight. 

All the crying has worn him out and there’s no need to upset him more tonight. Christopher is a child, and hearing that your dad got hurt is traumatic enough. Telling him that it was because someone shot him, that it wasn’t an accident but rather someone actively wanted to hurt his father? Buck would rather do it before they go to the hospital so that Christopher doesn’t need to wait overnight to see his dad. Christopher starts leaning more heavily against Buck, and Buck moves his hand to brush through Christopher’s hair, hoping that it calms the boy more.

“Buck?” Christopher asks. It’s obvious the crying has worn him out and he’s on the verge of sleep.

“Yeah?” 

“Will you stay?” Christopher asks.

“I’m not going anywhere,” Buck promises. “Go to sleep. You’ll see your dad tomorrow.”

“Right after breakfast?” 

“Right after.”

Buck doesn’t want to keep Christopher away from Eddie any longer than he has to, and he knows that if Eddie is awake in the morning, he will want to see Christopher. They’ll both need each other.

And Buck is really looking forward to seeing Eddie awake as well. He knows that Eddie is in the clear, but he feels that only seeing him awake and talking will finally calm his heart.

It doesn’t take long until Christopher is asleep. Buck picks him up carefully and carries him into his room, setting him on the bed and tucking him in. He hopes Christopher’s rest will be undisturbed and that today’s events won’t make their way to his dreams like Buck is sure they will come to his - that is if he manages to fall asleep at all.

Buck turns the lights off but leaves the door open, wanting to be able to hear Christopher in case he has a nightmare or needs him in the middle of the night. He goes back to the living room and sits on the couch, unsure of what to do now. It’s the first time he’s alone since this morning before he went to work. So much has happened in the past twelve hours that the morning feels like a completely different life. One where things were good and none of them were in danger.

Eddie got shot today.

It brings out the worry that someone is apparently targeting firefighters, and that that someone is still on the loose. But it’s only an afterthought for Buck, who can’t forget the way Eddie looked, how he fell, how much he bled and how he almost died.

They nearly lost Eddie today.

Buck can’t keep it in anymore. There’s no one here he needs to stay strong for. No Eddie, no 118 or Eddie’s relatives, and no Christopher. Buck buries his face in his hands as he cries, letting out every tear that has wanted to escape since he was able to process that Eddie was injured. He tries to stay quiet so that he doesn’t wake up Christopher, but he cries for every terror-filled moment he’s had today, all the vivid memories that are playing on a loop in his mind, every should-have and what-if.

He lets himself feel it all. 

Eventually the day catches up with his body as it already has with his mind and he feels tired, his shoulder sore from when he hit it earlier when he was pushed down. He takes the blanket from the back of the couch and pulls it over himself when he lays down on the couch, reaching for the remote to turn the tv off but not bothering with lights. Getting up feels like too much effort.

So he wraps himself in the blanket that smells like Eddie and lets his eyes fall closed, succumbing to what will probably be a very restless sleep.

[buddiefamily]

This is a result of people insisting Eddie didn’t have a reaction. He did! He’s just not as expressive as Buck so it wasn’t visible from space.

I Got You, Always [read on ao3]

rating: explicit, no warnings apply, friends to lovers, protective eddie

Eddie had just taken most of his gear off when he heard Chimney ask: “Where’s Buck?”

As if they all didn’t know perfectly well where Buck was. He felt his body shake. With fear or anger, he wasn’t sure. He had plenty reason for both. He was fuming with fury at Buck’s parents for treating him like he didn’t matter, for making him feel like he was nothing better than defective parts, who does that to their child? He couldn’t help but be angry at Hen and Chimney too, for letting Buck separate from the rest of them, god knew Buck was in no state to even be working at all, let alone this, him alone. And he was scared, alright. He was terrified. Not that he’d ever show or admit to it, but he was. He was terrified for Buck, who more than anything needed to know he’s loved and appreciated. Not this, not being all by himself! How could they allow this?

In an attempt to hide his distress, his fear, he threw his hands up at Chimney and Hen in a gesture that said and you let him?

Then he heard Buck’s voice, reporting to the IC and he let out a sigh of relief, once again being able to breathe properly. Buck was okay.

But then he said he was surrounded, lost, and Eddie felt like his lungs would give out at any second. He looked at Bobby, pleading, he didn’t care anymore. They needed to go back in, they needed to get to Buck.

There was an explosion.

Eddie’s heart stopped.

Bobby gave a short nod, then they were all gearing up again, running towards the entrance. Eddie couldn’t will his legs to move fast enough. He knew it wasn’t humanly possible to run much faster with all the weight of his gear, but he had to try. And try he did, leaving the rest of his team a good few yards behind him, rushing to Buck as fast as he could.

When he saw him, finally, his first instinct was to make sure Buck was okay, that he wasn’t hurt, he wanted to hold Buck and to never let go. But there was a job to be done. So he only allowed himself half a second to collect his heart from where it was shattered all around him, then he got to work. His team was there, right behind him. He couldn’t be more thankful.

They were out of the building, Buck was sitting in the back of an ambulance, Bobby and Hen by his side. Eddie was aching to talk to Buck, more than anything he wanted to be the one by his side. But he wasn’t selfish. He knew what Buck needed right then, and it wasn’t him. What Buck needed was to hear that he had people who cared about him, people who would always be there for him, who he could rely on. So he let Bobby and Hen talk to Buck, then Athena – Eddie was so glad she was there, he knew how much her and Bobby meant to Buck – and all Eddie did was wait. He stood and watched, never once taking his eyes off Buck. He watched his expression shift from grief and guilt to something more content and calm and finally, when he talked to Athena, Eddie saw Buck smile.

Eddie was still worried. Maybe Buck was out of physical danger now, but that sure as hell didn’t mean he was okay. Still, he didn’t go over and talk to Buck, he didn’t trust himself to stay composed. He’d talk to him in the morning. Eddie knew that was selfish of him, but at least it was better than the alternative. Buck needed him to be strong, he’d be of no use if he talked to Buck now, he’d break down and cry. Neither of them needed that.

Eddie went home.

As much as he wished to hug his son, Chris was asleep already, so Eddie settled for a forehead kiss and a whispered I love you. He went to his own room, closing the door carefully behind him. Only then, in the privacy of his own bedroom, did he allow himself to let go. He wasn’t aware of making a conscious decision to move his body, but the next thing he knew he was curled on the floor, his breath coming out in short puffs. His eyes were burning with tears, he felt them streaming down his cheeks. His body shook. He heard a sob before he even realized it left his own mouth.

Later, when he could catch his breath again, he would wonder why he was so wrecked, so worried. He’d tell himself Buck was in no imminent danger, in no life-threatening situation. He’d stare at the wall, trying to figure out why his heart ached so much to see Buck doubt himself like he did earlier that day, then throw himself at the first opportunity to get hurt. His panic would rise once again for a moment, fearing that maybe that was Buck’s intention, to get hurt. He would remember his street fighting, how Buck knew immediately, how he paid attention. And then it would down on him, attention. That was what Buck wanted, needed, what he never got from his parents. So he learned to ask for it, it the craziest loudest ways possible, because that’s all that ever worked. Stealing the fire truck, the lawsuit, it all suddenly made sense. And Eddie’s heart would break again. For Buck who felt, no matter how loved he was, that people didn’t notice him, didn’t care. He would hate himself for not realizing sooner, for not being able to fix it. Eddie would sit on his bedroom floor for hours, asking himself why all this hurt so much, why Buck’s pain hurt him.

And the answer was right there, right in front of him, if he only listened to his heart.

The next morning, as he got ready to work, he stood in front of the mirror and swore to his reflection that he would stay composed. For Buck’s sake. And he would have done it, he really had faith in himself. But then Buck’s parents showed up at the firehouse, and Eddie lost every tiny fiber of his cool.

Screw composed; Eddie had a lot to say.

What made him even angrier was that everyone else seemed so unbothered by their presence, even Chimney who must have known better than anyone what kind of people they were. Yet he just sat with them, narrating Buck’s heroic rescues, one after another. Eddie couldn’t listen to it anymore.

“Your son is a hero, in every sense of the word,” he said, his voice firm. The silence that suddenly surrounded them was deafening. He could fell all eyes on him. He didn’t care. He continued: “He’s a hero, but he had never once in his life felt like one.”

“Eddie-” Hen tried to warn him, to stop him, knowing full well where the conversation would go. Eddie didn’t even acknowledge her.

“Your son is the most selfless, caring, compassionate person I know. I doubt he learned any of that from you.”

There was a gasp, Mrs. Buckley nearly jumped out of her chair, no doubt ready to defend herself, to find some half-hearted excuse.

“He loves so freely, he gives everything he has to others, yet he never feels seen, appreciated,” Eddies voice was still firm, even as he struggled to catch his breath, “loved.”

He looked around. Most people have left the floor, only Hen and Chim were still hanging around. For whose sake, he wasn’t quite sure. He looked back to Mr. and Mrs. Buckley, half expecting an argument, something like but we love him.

It never came. Instead-

“Tell us about him.”

He must have heard wrong.

“You seem to care about Evan a great deal, why don’t you tell us what he’s like?” Mr. Buckley was looking at him expectantly. He felt anger rise in his chest. These people didn’t deserve to be a part of Buck’s life. But he caught Hen’s gaze, stern, and he sighed. Fine. But he would do it his way.

“Buck,” he emphasized, “his name is Buck.”

When Buck arrived with Bobby, announcing a clean bill of health, Eddie once again wished he could hold Buck and never let go. But his captain was there, the rest of his team at his heel, just like always. It had to wait.

So instead, he joked.

“Show-off.”

And Buck’s smile was worth every bit of the pain he felt.

“I had to do it,” Buck told him, as if Eddie didn’t already know that. He couldn’t help but smile too.

“I knew you did,” he replied, because every little reassurance he could give to Buck, he would.

They just stood there for a moment, easy silence between them, then Eddie’s expression changed. Buck could tell right away. How he read Eddie so easily sometimes, it was almost scary.

“You got some visitors,” he told Buck and watched his face fall as he realized the implication.

Once again, all Eddie could do was wait. He watched Buck disappear up the stairs, hoping he’d get his moment to spend with Buck after. But then he announced he was going to see Maddie and all Eddie could say to him before he left was: “I’m here for you if you need me.”

Then he was all alone in his house again, Chris fast asleep by the time he got home from his shift. He wished Carla goodnight, waved her off when she offered to stay with him, insisted he was fine.

This time he didn’t make it to the bedroom before he felt his chest tighten and the tears warm on his cheeks. He was alone anyway, it didn’t matter. Except maybe he was less alone than he thought.

There was a knock on the door.

Before he could even stand up from his spot on the couch, he heard the key turn in the lock and the door opened, revealing Buck. Eddie rushed to him, wiping his tears as best as he could without Buck noticing.

“You said you’d be here when I needed you,” Buck said, his eyes fixed on his shoes. Eddie opened his mouth to reassure him that he would, always, but then Buck continued, and Eddie could only stare.

“I’m sorry, Eddie, I should have realized what that meant. I should have known that was you asking to see me.”

At that Eddie couldn’t hold his tears any longer.

“No, Buck, that’s not what I meant. I did want to see you, because I never got to talk to you yesterday, but I would never ask that of you, not when you have your own problems to worry about.” Eddie stepped closer, taking hold of Buck’s hands, he needed him to understand this wasn’t about him.

“I know, Eds, that’s exactly why I should have known.” Buck looked so devastated. He went to hell and back with his family and the factory fire, yet here he was, worrying about Eddie.

So Eddie tried to explain to him, how it didn’t matter what he felt, how Buck was his priority now. And Buck just laughed. A soft honest laugh. Eddie felt his chest tighten, this time the feeling was different. Warm.

“It’s not a competition, you know,” he said, then walked to the couch, still holding onto Eddie’s hands, dragging him along, “we can be here for each other.”

Eddie pulled him in for a hug. Buck wrapped his hands around Eddie’s waist, holding on for dear life. Buck really did need him, Eddie realized. He held on just as tight, one hand around Buck’s shoulders, the other in his hair, stroking lightly.

“I got you,” he whispered. Now that he finally had Buck in his arms, he wasn’t gonna let go. Thankfully, it seemed Buck agreed with that sentiment, not letting go of Eddie’s waist even as they sat down on the couch.

After a moment of silence, Buck said: “Hen told me you yelled at my parents.” He didn’t sound angry, so Eddie didn’t apologize. He didn’t know what else to say, luckily he didn’t have to because Buck continued, his tone lighter now: “Thank you. Although I do wonder what you told them. My mother said you were a keeper, any idea what she meant by that?”

Eddie went red in the face.

“I showed them pictures of you and Chris, she- she must have assumed,” Eddie stammered, pulling away from Buck, “I’m so sorry, Buck, I swear I didn’t-”

Buck’s grip on Eddie’s hips tightened, not letting him go too far.

“It’s okay, Eddie.” Buck’s voice was so calm, there was a small smile on his lips. Eddie was speechless. Once again, it didn’t matter, because Buck spoke again: “Thank you.”

Eddie stared at Buck, his eyes roaming Buck’s face, searching for answers. Why did he suddenly feel so warm with Buck’s hands on him, why did his heart beat like crazy, why were his hands shaking as he reached to touch Buck again? This time, when the answer stared him in the face, quite literally, he didn’t try to hide, to run away.

He wasn’t brave enough to say the words, so he leaned in and placed a soft kiss on Buck’s forehead. Buck, who watched Eddie tuck Chris into bed more times than he could count, knew exactly what it meant. He wrapped his hands around Eddie in a crushing embrace, and whispered against his ear: “Me too, Eddie.” Then he felt Buck’s lips at his jaw, and as much as he wanted to stay in Buck’s embrace for the rest of eternity, there was something else he was dying to do.

So he pulled back, only to lean back in and finally, finally, kissed Buck’s lips.

Buck’s hands were on his face in an instant, holding gently, his thumbs caressing his cheeks softly. His lips were just as soft, careful, moving painfully slowly against Eddie’s. But there was no rush, Eddie told himself, he could enjoy this. So he did. He kissed Buck with just a little more pressure, he gripped Buck’s shoulders just that bit tighter, finally understanding why his heart always felt heavy and light at the same time when he was with Buck. He let Buck kiss him back any way he wanted, he let Buck bite at his lower lip, let his tongue trace his lip, against his tongue, and he felt his heart fill with warmth and explode over and over. He kissed Buck’s jaw, leaving a trail of kisses down his neck to his collarbones. Buck’s hands were on Eddie’s skin now, his shirt pulled up by Buck’s curious fingers. Eddie felt Buck’s fingernails running gently up and down his lower back and he shivered, letting out a sigh.

“You like that?” Buck asked him, his voice deep and raspy. His nails were now firmer on Eddie’s back, more insistent. He moaned. And that was all the answer Buck needed.

His lips were on Eddie’s again, his hands never leaving Eddie’s back. Even when – after making sure that’s what Eddie wanted – he was taking off Eddie’s shirt, he managed to keep one hand on his hip. Eddie wasn’t sure if it was meant to reassure or tease him, either way he was thankful. Buck only let go to take his own shirt off, and even that short moment left Eddie feeling cold and alone. Then Buck’s hands were all over him, as if he couldn’t get enough of Eddie’s skin, as if holding Eddie forever wouldn’t be enough.

They made their way to the bedroom, only stopping once to make out against the wall, Eddie pressing his body against Buck’s, feeling Buck’s erection at his hip. After that, it was only thanks to Buck’s strong hands pushing him away and towards the bedroom, that they even made it there. Then the door was closed behind them and Buck’s hands were on Eddie’s hips, pushing his sweatpants down and off, along with his underwear. Eddie tried to do the same for Buck, struggling with his belt buckle, until Buck took pity on him and took the rest of his clothes off himself.

Eddie was pushing him towards the bed, crawling on top of him. Their bodies were flush against each other’s, nothing but skin on skin.  Eddie was breathless. For once, it was a good feeling. He looked at Buck, who looked back at him, waiting. Buck was waiting for Eddie to make a move, to set the pace, Buck was giving him a go-ahead for anything he wanted. But Eddie couldn’t do that, couldn’t possibly do something – anything – if he wasn’t entirely sure that’s what Buck wanted. So he asked: “What do you want, Buck?”

“Anything,” he replied, his voice low, “everything.”

And that wasn’t very helpful to Eddie. But if Buck wanted everything, he sure as hell would deliver. And if in the process he could get Buck to tell him what he really wanted, well, that would only be a bonus.

So he leaned down, his elbows supporting his weight, and he kissed Buck slowly. He let his lips ghost over Buck’s until he felt Buck trying to press closer, only then did he allow for an actual kiss. He licked and sucked at Buck’s lips, his hands on each side of Buck’s torso, not touching. He tried to ignore Buck’s hard cock pressing against his, he held his hips still. Buck’s hands were on Eddie’s back again, his nails digging in and it was almost enough for Eddie to abandon his plan and let Buck have anything, everything.

But he didn’t budge. Instead, he took hold of both Buck’s wrists and brought them above his head, holding them against the pillow with one of his hands. The other hand he used to prop himself us so that his hips weren’t touching Buck’s.

Buck groaned it frustration but said nothing. So Eddie kissed his neck, both his shoulders, sucked a hickey right over where his heart was, all the while still holding Buck’s wrists. And Buck made all the sounds Eddie never even thought to dream about. And he tried to move his hips, tried to free his hands to touch Eddie, but Eddie was having none of that.

“Stay still,” he demanded in the most authoritative tone he could muster in the moment, “and keep your hands where they are.” It seemed to work like magic, Buck went perfectly still and when Eddie let go of Buck’s wrists, his hands didn’t move an inch. Eddie nodded approvingly, then went to trail kisses down Buck’s chest and stomach. When he got all the way to his hips, he sucked a mark on each side, making Buck moan, struggling to stay still. Eddie moved lower; he could feel Buck hold his breath in anticipation.

Ignoring Buck’s erection, Eddie kissed down his thigh.

“Eddie,” Buck sighed in frustration.

Eddie traced his lips to Buck’s knee, then took hold of his ankle and moved Buck’s leg so that it was bent. He kissed Buck’s knee again, then moved his lips and tongue and teeth to Buck’s inner thigh. He heard Buck take in a sharp breath, he heard him try to muffle his sighs by biting his lip. When he worked his way almost all the way up Buck’s thigh, Eddie felt him hold his breath again.

Eddie switched to Buck’s other leg, repeating the process, dragging it out even more. His own dick was achingly hard, but he focused on Buck instead. Kissing and nibbling at the sensitive skin of Buck’s thigh. Buck’s sighs and groans were a mixture of pleasure and frustration, until finally Eddie heard him say: “Eddie, please!”

That was his cue.

He stopped licking at Buck’s skin, pulled away, and looked up at Buck asking with fake innocence: “Please, what?”

“Fuck me,” was what Buck said.

Eddie couldn’t even congratulate himself on how easy that was, he felt a shiver run all the way through him.

“That’s not exactly how I prefer to call it, but…”

He reached for his bedside table, taking out lube and a condom, then climbed over to Buck again. Their eyes locked, Eddie could see Buck’s lips twitch, trying not to smile. Apparently, Eddie wasn’t the only one playing a game here.

“Make love to me, Eddie.”

And that was it for him, he couldn’t hold back any longer. He grabbed the bottle of lube and squeezed out what was probably too much, but he couldn’t care less. He pressed a slick finger against Buck’s hole, not quite pressing in just yet, just circling around.

Buck moaned. The sound made Eddie’s head spin. He pressed his finger in gently, watching Buck’s face to make sure he wasn’t hurting him in any way. He moved his finger carefully in and out until Buck asked formore Eddie please I need more. He added another finger, his other hand holding Buck’s hip gently but firmly. Then it was three of Eddie’s fingers inside Buck and the only words leaving Buck’s mouth was a mantra of please please please as Eddie’s fingers brushed his prostate over and over. When he pulled out his fingers, Buck made a sound at the loss, almost like a sob. Eddie kissed his stomach.

“I got you,” he promised.

He struggled with the condom for longer than he’d wish to admit, his hands shaking. Once he figured it out, he reached for the lube again, coating his cock, then tossing the bottle somewhere by the foot of the bed. He leaned over Buck who was looking at him with so much love in his face Eddie nearly passed out. He positioned himself between Buck’s legs, pressing his cock against Buck’s already slick hole. He placed his hands on Buck’s hips and pushed in. Buck’s eyes closed, his hands tangled in the pillows, still trying to stay still. Eddie leaned in to kiss him softly.

“You can touch me, Buck,” he whispered.

Buck let out the biggest sigh of relief, his hands going to Eddie’s shoulders immediately. Eddie kept their bodies pressed flush against each other’s as he moved his hips, his lips never once leaving Buck’s skin. He pushed in and out slowly, listening to Buck’s sighs and moans, his ear right next to Buck’s lips. As much as Buck seemed to be content with their slow pace, Eddie wanted more. He sped up his thrusts, only just enough so that Buck picked up on it, could stop him if he wanted to. He didn’t. He pushed his hips up to meet Eddie’s, gripping his shoulders tight for leverage.

That little change in angle was all it took, Eddie now hitting Buck’s prostate with each thrust. Buck had to press his lips against Eddie’s in an attempt not to scream. Eddie held onto Buck, kissing back messily, he felt his own orgasm approaching.

“Eddie-” Buck pulled away; spoke to warn Eddie he was close. Eddie kissed the corner of his lips.

“I got you,” he said again, then sped up his thrusts even more, angling his hips just right. Buck came, burying his lips in Eddie’s shoulder to silence himself. Eddie followed short after, collapsing on top of Buck.

After they were cleaned up and cuddled on the bed, this time under the covers, Buck’s head on Eddie’s chest, Eddie’s hands wrapped around Buck protectively, Eddie teased: “A keeper, huh?”

Buck laughed. He kissed Eddie’s jaw.

“You definitely are a keeper,” Buck said with a soft smile, then added, “thanks again, for standing up for me. I really appreciate it.”

And Eddie just looked at him fondly.

“I got you, always.”

[tripleaxeldiaz]

maybe one day i’ll fly next to you

chapter 1/8

read on ao3

The sun is just rising when he gets to the rink, the early morning light streaming in through the high windows, making the ice glow. He’s the first one there, just like he planned, so he gets to take his time getting ready. He stretches a bit in the locker room before lacing up his skates and heading to the ice. Placing his guards on the boards, he takes a minute to just look, relishing in the stillness, the quiet, the smooth surface of the untouched ice. He takes one step, two, and he’s off, gliding through the mirrored surface, carving his path as he goes.

Buck can’t remember a time when skating wasn’t his entire life. He first put on skates at four, wobbling on the side of the rink while Maddie was in lessons. He started lessons of his own at six, and after that, he never stopped thinking about being on the ice. And he was good, too — by eight he was competing in the regional circuit, already landing a handful of clean triples when most kids were still struggling with doubles. He qualified for his first nationals at 10, won gold in Juniors at 11, and by the time he qualified for Junior Grand Prix at 13, people already knew his name. They knew his “modern artistry” as they called it, his powerful jumps, and talked about him like he was someone worth watching out for once he made it to the senior level.

It helped that by then, Buck was already addicted to competition. He loved skating on its own — the power he felt when he jumped and flew across the ice, the beauty of well-executed spirals and step sequences — but nothing made him feel more alive than doing it in front of a crowd and a panel of judges. Landing each element perfectly sent a thrill through him that he never wanted to stop feeling, and seeing his scores, usually much higher than others, was something that never got boring. He wanted to be the best, was on his way to being the best, and those hazy dreams of an Olympic gold medal didn’t feel quite as hazy anymore.

For a while, at least. Until he showed up.

But Buck doesn’t want to think about him right now, he just wants to enjoy the peace and quiet while he can. He’s not skating to anything in particular, just the music in his head taking him wherever feels right. He’s so lost in it, trying to nail the bit of choreo he just made up, that he doesn’t even notice Bobby until he hears him clapping from the benches. 

“Looks good, Buck. Talk to Hen, I think that would work in your new short.”

“Thanks Bobby,” Buck says, making his way to the boards. Bobby hands him his guards and his water bottle, heading back towards the locker room.

“Come on, we’re just about to get started.”

Bobby and Athena have had this beginning of the season meeting for as long as Buck has been at their club. They go over assignments for Grand Prix and the Challenger series, figure out general training schedules, and do a “goal setting session” for what they want to accomplish this season. 

Bobby calls it a “family meeting”, which is cute but also annoying. Skating isn’t a team sport. Families don’t win medals. And that’s all Buck wants to accomplish every season until he retires: he wants to win.

He sits down on a bench next to Maddie, who’s deep in conversation with Athena about her and Chimney’s programs, he’s sure. She’s been planning them since Worlds, so they’re probably fully choreographed and ready for competition. The Buckleys are nothing if not overachievers.

Bobby clears his throat, standing in front of the roll-away white board, and gets started. Buck’s half paying attention — it’s the fifth time he’s heard the “athletes aren’t born, they’re made” speech, he gets the point — letting his eyes wander over the small crowd of skaters. Chim’s on Athena’s other side, nodding along with Bobby. May and Hen are standing along the lockers, whispering quietly. The Juniors kids are sitting on the floor, in awe of their coach as he talks about hard work and victory. Buck gets it, he’s still a little in awe of Bobby himself, but not so much of his recycled speeches.

There’s one face, though, that he doesn’t see, and for a minute, he’s hopeful. He’s gone, he moved, he went to work with Rafael in Lakewood or something, so I’ll only have to see him maybe four times a year instead of every goddamn day thank god—

The doors to the locker room burst open, and fuck. 

Because, nope, he’s still here. Windswept and out of breath and 15 minutes late, yet somehow still oozing confidence and jackassery.

Eddie Diaz. Olympic Bronze Medalist. Two time reigning World Champion. And the absolute bane of Buck’s existence.

Bobby doesn’t even say anything, just waves him in and keeps talking. If Buck had been that late, even if it was for a good reason, he would have had his ass handed to him in front of everyone and would’ve had to run laps or something after his ice time. But of course, Eddie gets a pass.

Whatever.

Buck doesn’t pay much attention to the rest of the meeting, too busy trying to keep himself from glaring at Eddie every 20 seconds. He tunes in enough to hear that they’ll both be going to Skate America and NHK because of course they are and spends the rest of the meeting trying to keep his blood pressure down. When it’s finally over, he makes his way through the crowd to get back to the ice for his first session with Bobby. He’s scrolling through his phone, trying to find his music, when he feels someone walk over and join him on the bench. He looks over, and lo and behold— 

“Eddie,” he says with what he hopes is a low level of contempt.

“Buck,” Eddie responds, looking over and nodding as he laces up his skates. “Good summer?”

“Fine.”

“Ready for the season?”

“Always am.”

Eddie smiles, easy and charming, and Buck hates his fucking guts. He nods at him again as he heads onto the ice, and Buck gives into the temptation to thump his head against boards a few times.

It’s going to be a very long year.

~~~~~~~~~~

Buck has hated Eddie since they were 16 years old.

Okay, maybe “hate” is a little strong, but whatever emotion it is when just looking at a person makes you feel like smoke is coming out of your ears, that’s how he feels. 

It was his first season in Seniors, and he had been doing better than he expected in the first half — a silver and a bronze at his Grand Prixs, and fifth at the Grand Prix Final. Nowhere near perfect or the best in the world, but he was the best US men’s skater and poised to win gold at Nationals. He hadn’t even heard the name “Eddie Diaz” until he got to Nats, and even then it was just whispers — some small town kid from Texas who was landing clean quadruple jumps at a time when some of the highest ranked skaters couldn’t. Buck was working on them — his coach kept harping on how important they’d be to the sport one day — but he’d hit a growth spurt just before the beginning of the season, so he was still getting used to his new center of gravity. 

But the rumors were true, Buck saw it with his own eyes at a practice session. He remembers the mix of awe and dread as he watched Eddie jump — the thoughts of damn I want to be as good as this kid and he’s about to take everything from me.

Eddie won Nats by about 30 points. Buck came in second. The US only had one spot at both Four Continents and Worlds, and Eddie got picked for both. Something about having “a better chance with his abilities and consistency in the international field” or some other bullshit. 

He didn’t podium at either. Buck felt shamelessly vindicated.

Over the next three years, they became perfect foils of each other — Buck with good jumps but better artistic expression and connection to the music, Eddie a little stiff but a blur of height and speed in the air. They flip-flopped at competitions — Buck got silver, Eddie got gold. Buck got gold, Eddie got bronze. Nats turned into a yearly showdown, the media always highlighting their “friendly rivalry”. Buck must have been a better actor than he thought if he was coming across as “friendly”.

He won Nats right before the Olympics, pretty much guaranteeing his chances of getting named to the Olympic Team. Two days before the announcement, he broke his leg on a bad landing and felt his dreams shatter along with the bone. 

Eddie went instead. He placed third, higher than any US man had placed in 12 years. 

Buck watched it all from his couch, unsure if he’d ever be able to skate again.

Fast forward three seasons, and while Buck is still struggling to get his consistent jumps back, Eddie keeps skyrocketing. He hasn’t lost a major competition in two years and is the overwhelming favorite to win the gold medal in Beijing. It was bad enough to hear about it from other skaters or see at competitions, but then Eddie moved to Bobby and Athena’s club a year ago, so now Buck gets to suffer through first hand observation.

It simultaneously pushes him harder and makes him want to die.

Which is the exact feeling he has right now as he watches Eddie land a perfect quad toe triple toe combo. He tried the same combo yesterday and landed flat on his ass, so now he just wants to practice it over and over until it’s perfect and he can rub it in Eddie’s smug face. See, you’re not the only one who can do it. You’re not that special.

“You better watch how hard you’re frowning, Buckaroo, you’re gonna get wrinkles,” Hen says as she walks over to him. She follows his line of sight, and her expression turns from vaguely worried to exasperated. “Staring that hard at Eddie isn’t gonna make him fall.”

“It could,” he says. “Maybe I have untapped psychic powers that are just waiting to come out.”

She gives him a flat look. “Sure, and I’m the long lost crown princess of a small European country. Can we go over your free instead of fantasizing about stupid things, please?”

“Fine, fine,” Buck says, finally turning away from Eddie as he steps on the ice.

He loves his programs this season — he usually doesn’t get used to them for a few months, but this time around, he already feels connected. His short is more modern, melancholic and gritty, while his free is more classic, hopeful, makes him feel like he’s floating rather than skating. He’s always been good at choreography — either taking it and making it his own or creating steps himself — and he feels like both really highlight his talents. Plus Hen, being the amazing choreographer and friend that she is, let him have a lot more input this time around, so it all feels more authentic. He likes to think that no matter what happens, he’ll be proud of whatever he puts out with these pieces.

They work on his free for an hour, and he stays an extra two to work on his short and his jumps on his own. By the time he leaves, the sun has set, his legs are already sore, and he has a lovely bruise blossoming on his right thigh from falling on his quad flip three times in a row.

It’s all worth it, though. Because as much as he wants to be happy with his programs no matter what, he knows he won’t be unless they get him to the top of that podium, hearing the national anthem play with a gold medal around his neck.

~~~~~~~~~~

He’s floating away in his dream, higher and higher like a runaway helium balloon. He can see the whole world below him, spread out and endless, rolling hills and forests and oceans. He wonders if he’ll ever come back down, or if he’ll just keep moving up and up, into the atmosphere, into space, into a different universe. He thinks that might not be so bad.

Suddenly, he’s falling, plummeting back down to Earth like an asteroid. He’s racing and racing towards the ground, bracing for impact, for everything in his body to break, he’s falling and falling faster and faster—

He wakes with a yell, covered in sweat, his leg twinging. He takes a few minutes to breathe and get his heart rate back down, but even then, he’s still shaking.

He looks at the clock. 4:30am. He could go back to sleep — he doesn’t have practice until noon. 

Except his mind is churning now with the phantom memory of breaking. The feeling of going from standing to not being able to move, pain radiating from his leg into every other part of his body. The panic, not just for his body, but for his whole life and what it could turn into. What he could lose.

He lays there for another half an hour, but the memories just keep burning. So, he does what he always does when he needs to shut his mind off.

He goes to the rink.

First practice isn’t until 8am, so he uses his keys to unlock the back door. Chuck, the janitor, was sick of waiting two extra hours to lock up after him, so he gave him his own set after his first season. Buck gives him a giant cookie bouquet for Christmas every year in return.

He feels better after just a few laps around the ice. The chill that bites as he speeds up his pace, the white noise of his blades in the ice, it all settles him like nothing else. He speeds up still, setting up for a triple Salchow — easy, almost second nature, a jump he could do in his sleep. He pushes off, but as soon as he’s airborne, something jolts through him, makes his stomach turn over. He pops the jump to a single and lands on the wrong edge, losing his balance and sprawling across the ice on his back. He stays there, staring up at the lights, letting the cold leech in through his sweatshirt. 

Almost four years later, and this is still happening. He scares himself out of jumps like he expects each one to end badly, even though he knows — logically, statistically knows — that it’s unlikely. 

And yet. Here he is. On his back. After another failure.

He’s too tired to feel pissed or frustrated like he usually does, so he’s just resigned. Today is not the day for jumps. That’s just how it is.

He gets up finally and skates over to his bag, digs his headphones out and queues up his short program music. He works through the step sequences, over and over, making little tweaks as necessary, thinking through where the judges could take off points until it’s perfect. The repetition quiets the last of his racing thoughts, and he finally feels like himself again. 

He’s moving into his last spin when he sees movement out of the corner of his eye. He slows down enough to recognize Eddie, inching towards the locker room like he’s trying not to be seen.

Buck stops, staring Eddie down. “What the hell are you doing here?”

Eddie freezes eyes wide, looking suspiciously guilty. He walks forward, hand rubbing the back of his neck. “I have an 8am and wanted to beat traffic on my way in. The back door was open when I got here, and I saw the lights on, so I—” he swallows, looking anywhere but Buck’s face. There’s a blush crawling up his neck, and he looks nervous.

Nervous like he just got caught somewhere he shouldn’t be, Buck thinks. He narrows his eyes as he checks his watch — it’s 7:00. He gets wanting to beat traffic, but a whole hour?

He quickly makes his way off the ice, grabbing his bag from the bench. “Well, I’m done for now, it’s all yours.”

“Thanks,” Eddie says quietly. Buck’s just about through the door when he hears his name. He turns back to Eddie, his blush now all the way up to his hairline.

“You looked good out there. Can’t wait to see it in competition.”

Buck freezes, processing the compliment. A compliment. From Eddie. They hardly talk unless they have to, and even then it’s never friendly. Cordial, sure, but not friendly.

So why is he being so nice now?

Buck just narrows his eyes again before stalking off to the lockers.

~~~~~~~~~~

“Mads, I really think he’s gonna pull a Tonya Harding on me.”

She looks at him over her wine glass, unimpressed. “Yeah, because that worked out so well for Tonya the first time.”

“I’m serious!” he says, taking a sip from his own glass. Neither of them drink during the season, so they’re taking full advantage of their weekly wine nights while they can. Buck’s not a lightweight by any means, but two glasses in and he is starting to feel a little fuzzy. And a little crazy, trying to figure out what Eddie was up to this morning. “You haven’t seen any weird guys lurking around have you? You’d tell me if you did, right?”

Maddie rolls her eyes. “You sound insane.”

“I’m not insane if I’m right. Why else would he be watching me?”

“We all watch each other, Buck! He was watching Chim and me yesterday too while he was on break. He even said our twizzles were really in sync.”

“You better watch your back too, maybe he’s trying to take the whole club out.”

“Oh my god,” she says, pouring another, very full glass.

“He’s just so— he’s—”

“Annoyingly perfect? Obnoxiously talented? I know, Buck, you only bring it up every 15 minutes.”

Buck deflates at that. “I don’t— it’s not that often.” Sure, he rants about how clean Eddie’s edges are and how good his quad flip is, but that’s because it’s so irritating. Buck works just as hard as Eddie, and he knows he’s not flawless. But somehow, Eddie is. Stupidly flawless and perfect and— 

“I’m just saying,” she says, squeezing his hand across the table and bringing him back to the conversation. She pours him another generous glass, too. “This energy is great, but it would probably be better to put more of it into practice and less of it into worrying about one of your competitors. I know you’re nervous about this season, but you can’t let that turn into this weird paranoia. Don’t let it take your head out of the game.”

He sits back and sighs. She’s right, of course. She always is.

He doesn’t tell her that, though. Just takes a gulp of wine and tries not to think about Eddie’s annoyingly perfect anything. 

~~~~~~~~~~

There’s a news truck parked outside the rink when he gets in the next morning, and he spends about 15 minutes contemplating just going home and telling Bobby he’s sick. 

The lead reporter — Taylor, he thinks — claims they’re here to do a profile on the club and how they’re preparing for the Olympics, but he knows they’re mostly here for Eddie. They want any and all sound bites they can get from him to use over and over and over in coverage leading up to Beijing. Quotes about hard work and following his dreams that they can play over footage of him skating and smiling after winning again. Buck’s already annoyed at the prospect of seeing them on NBC Sports for the next six months.

To their credit, they do film everyone practicing at some point. They get Maddie and Chim doing their new rotational lift, May landing her triple lutz that she’s been working on for months, and Buck’s nearly perfect (if he does say so himself) flying camel spin. So at least they have good footage of him, not just random shots in the background of Eddie’s. Maybe he’ll even get his own little promo. 

Bobby calls him into his office after lunch, where the news crew has set up an interview space. He wasn’t expecting to talk to anyone — maybe a quick question at the boards, but nothing this fancy. He sits in one of the chairs as someone puts powder on his face and tries to do something with his hair. Taylor sits down across from him, a 1000-watt smile turned on as the cameras start rolling.

“So, Evan. Or do you prefer Buck?”

“Evan’s fine.” As much as he hates his first name, it’s how the general public knows him. Buck is reserved for friends and family.

And Eddie, an annoying voice reminds him. Fine, friends and family and...competitors.

“You came in second at Nationals and Four Continents last year, and fourth at Worlds. How do you feel about the momentum going into this Olympic season?”

“Every season is different,” he says as diplomatically as possible. These reporters always want drama, someone slipping up and bragging about themselves when they have no right to. He’s not wrong — every season is different. No matter who’s expected to win or who has the most medals, you never know how everything will play out. “We haven’t had a men’s field this strong in a while, so it’ll be interesting to see what happens. But I’m as prepared as I can be at this point.”

“You were injured right before the last Olympics. Do you see this year as a bit of redemption for yourself?”

He feels his smile go tight. “It’s every kid’s dream to go to the Games. It’s certainly still mine. I’m ready to do whatever I can to make that dream come true.”

“Eddie Diaz has been with your club for just over a year now. What’s it like training with him?”

There it is, he thinks. He’s surprised she asked so many questions about him before getting to Eddie. The first responses he thinks of are all variations of he sucks and I can’t stand the sight of him, but he knows any petty answers will be worse for him personally than anyone else. So, as much as it pains him, he settles on the nicest version of the truth he can muster.

“Eddie’s an amazing skater,” he says, surprising himself at how genuine he sounds. “He’s been paving new paths in the sport, and he’s pushed everyone to be better to try and get on his level, myself included. He definitely brings that same energy to the club.”

“Do you think you can beat him this year?”

Wow, she’s not holding any punches.

He shrugs, smiling through the sudden burst of anxiety in his veins. “We’ll just have to wait and see.” 

~~~~~~~~~~

Despite his less than fiery interview, Taylor asks him what he’s doing after practice right before they leave. It’s easy enough to turn her down — he’s got an early PT appointment in the morning, plus the way she’s been looking at him all day is making him itchy. He can tell she only sees him as an object — as a means to get her name on a lead story or a body to keep her bed warm or both — and that’s just not something he’s interested in. Maybe a few years ago, when sex was a way for him to forget about the potential end of his career, but not now.

As nonchalant as he was in the interview, this season really could make or break him. 

He can’t afford any distractions.

[buckaroosboogara]

911 week - Day 5:

“Can I tell you a secret?” + comfort

(1800~ words, Albert and Chimney, tw alcohol and mentions of addiction/addiction.)

@911week

"Albert, I don't know how or why, but if you don't want to be a firefighter anymore, just tell me." Chimney huffed.

"Well," Albert got up and stumbled with his feet. He gained composure and walked to the door. "I don't wanna be a firefighter. Father was right, I am useless. And just like him, an alcoholic. Now go away." 

Chimney flinched, "This is not you Albert, please..." 

"Well, what do you know about me, huh? We were apart for more than 20 years." Albert barked as he opened the door. 

"I'll come back." Chim said, walking outside. 

"Yeah, yeah."

Albert wanted to cry. 

He felt like the world was turning him into a living joke, only alive to make people laugh, and he hated it. 

He was a step closer to be out of the fire academy, and his instructor had warned him that if he made one mistake more, he would be out. 

First, his written test had an 80/100, he would have like to blame it on Jee and her strong lungs that woke him up four hours before his exam at 8, but he couldn't do that. It was also his fault for constantly delaying the time to study for it, until dinner of the very last night before the exam. 

Then, he decided to move in with Buck again, or better said, move to Buck's place since the other man was mostly at Eddie's place than his own flat, giving Maddie and Chimney the privacy they needed. They happened to go partying to celebrate Albert's birthday the night before a big Chief went unpromptedly to the academy, and Albert arrived late for the first time, just that day. 

And now... he definitely deserved to get kicked out. 

He filled his teammate's oxygen tank with the gases, mostly nitrogen and carbon monoxide, that the O2 truck's engine liberated. 

He almost killed the girl during their training. 

And he didn't have a father in an important charge or a politician mother to get him out of that trouble, like the story of a training firefighter in Chicago. 

His only consolation was that his teammate, Jennifer, the only woman in his class, was already at her home, and had texted him to say it was okay, she knew he didn't mean to hurt her. That he was a harmless cinnamon bun, whatever that meant. 

He went home after the furious instructor had made him leave the academy, having done enough harm for the day. 

He messaged Buck, briefly telling him he was home early, and threw himself on the couch, the weight of guilt crushing him down. 

Albert really wished Jennifer - or JJ, how she like her friends to call her, but Albert didn't consider himself one - would be okay and become a firefighter in the next two weeks, when their final physical exam would happen. 

He also didn't want to alarm Buck or Chimney, both were stressed enough, having to juggle between being at the station and covering shifts for the two people down and having to take care of Maddie, Eddie, and Bobby, with the last two assuring they didn't need their help. 

Between these thoughts he fell asleep, waking up some hours after, dreams of death and disappointment hunting him. 

He put his jacket on and looked for a bar near, doing the only thing he ever learned from his father. 

Drown his guilts in alcohol. 

... 

Chimney could feel something was wrong with his brother. 

No, he knew. 

The clues were right there. 

He wasn't calling as much as he used to do, and whenever Buck called and was at their loft, Albert was not there. 

That, plus Buck's comments about him arriving home very late and leaving very early, with dark eye bags and smelling of alcohol. Those comments didn't ease the feeling on Chimney's gut. 

He first tried to call him, day, noon, even at 3 am when he couldn't sleep during a shift. Nothing. 

Or, short messages telling him he would call later, but he never did. 

Chimney knew how close Albert was to be a firefighter, and he knew that last week was the worst one. He feared what it would do to his brother. 

So one day, the stars aligned and Buck saw Albert during the noon in their loft. He did what he could to keep him there and called Chimney to get there, he knew that Albert needed his brother rather than anyone else at that moment. 

As soon as Chimney arrived, Buck left the building and both men could speak for the first time in a week and a half. 

"Okay, I'm gonna go straight to the point." Chimney huffed as he closed the door behind Buck. "What the hell is going on with you?" 

"Nothing." Albert lied, sitting on the couch with a beer in hand. 

"Don't you dare lie to me. I know you and this is not you, Al. Talk to me." Chimney walked to the couch and stood in front of his brother. 

Albert avoided his look and kept quiet. 

Chimney huffed. "Look, the EMT in charge of the basic health support and procedures class, Eli, called me yesterday. He was glad another Han would become a firefighter, but then he told me you weren't there." 

He crouched in front of his brother. "Albert, I don't know how or why, but if you don't want to be a firefighter anymore, just tell me. You don't need to avoid me, or Buck, for the record. Talk to me." 

"Well," Albert got up and stumbled with his feet. He gained composure and walked to the door. "I don't wanna be a firefighter. Now go away." 

Chimney flinched, "This is not you Albert, please..." 

"Well, what do you know about me, huh? We were apart for more than 20 years." Albert barked as he opened the door. 

"I'll come back." Chim said, walking outside. 

"Yeah, yeah." 

The door shut.

Chimney wanted to cry.

... 

"Chimney! Nice to see you around for once, but why are you here?" Eli happily exclaimed when he saw Chim walking through the academy's halls the next morning. 

"Hey Eli, it's nice to see you too brother." Chimney rolled his eyes fondly and hugged the man. 

After making the appropriate small talk Chimney spoke, "I actually came here to ask about my brother..." 

"Albert Han?" Eli asked and checked the clipboard he carried with him. "Uh, he hasn't come to my class in a week. Since the oxygen tank accident, actually." 

Chim's mind stopped racing after the last sentence. "Oxygen tank accident?" 

The EMS gave him an odd look. "Yeah... everyone here knows about it. He accidentally filled his partner's tank with monoxide and other gases from the O2 truck's engine." 

Chimney took his hands to his eyes, too much information entering his brain, Eli continued. "She passed away during training and hit her head, but apart from that and the toxic inhalation she was perfect." 

"Shit. Okay, I would remember if he told me that." Chim shook his head. "And he hasn't come in a week?" 

"Not to my classes." Eli said. "I thought that maybe you'd teach him for the exam, therefore he wouldn't come but... I know you, there's something more." 

"Yeah. Just- I need to talk to him. Could you make sure they don't... you know... kick him out?" 

"I'll do what I can." Eli answered sincerely. "Hey, it seems like almost getting kicked out is a Han thing now." 

Chim winced. He had been very close... which actually gave him an idea. 

"I gotta go, Eli, thanks for the... uh.. for everything!" Chim said, slowly tracking back. "Bye!" 

... 

Albert heard a knock on the door and groaned. 

He waited for whoever was there to give up and walk away, but the person kept insisting. 

"Open up Albert, I know you are there!" Chimney's voice sounded from the hall. 

"Ugh, go away!" Albert huffed as he took a bottle of beer from the fridge. 

"I'm not going away Albert. I'm going to stay here until Buck arrives or you open the door." 

"So stubborn." 

"Just like you." 

Albert thought of his options. He could either wait or let his brother in and drive him away in minutes and he would be alone again. 

He sighed as he opened the door. "Happy now?" 

"No. I need you to talk to me, Albert." Chimney got inside. "I know about the accident. It's not your fault, look-" 

"If you know, then you know it is my fault. She could have died. I could have killed her. It's not that I don't want to be a firefighter. I can't be one." Albert blurted out, his cheeks red from embarrassment. 

"Albert..." 

"And it's not just that- it's that every one of my written tests is marked only with an 80%, I can't seem to be there in time and then I almost killed one of my classmates, my friend. And- And I just- I feel like giving up." He took a swing of his beer. "And I did. Father was right, I am useless. And just like him, an alcoholic." 

He made a sad smile and continued drinking. 

"No, you are much more than that Albert." Chimney said, taking the bottle from his hand. "And you would make an amazing firefighter, don't ever doubt that." 

Albert rolled his eyes and huffed, making his way to the couch. Chim followed and sat on the coffee table in front of his brother. 

"Can I tell you a secret?" Chim asked after some seconds of silence. 

"Go ahead." 

"I almost got kicked out too." 

Albert scanned his expression. "You're lying." 

"The hell I'm not." Chim huffed. "Being a firefighter was the thing that kept me going for many years. Until I met Maddie. But, believe it or not, I almost got kicked out for not asking for help and being a jerk." 

"I was struggling in the written exams too. Almost failing, while Kevin got all 95s and 100s. I got jealous and was too proud to ask him for help. Then I started having problems with the higher levels. But one day..." Chimney smiled. "One day Chief Aadav Panikkar, yeah, Ravi's father, called me to his office. And he helped me." 

A tear slipped down Chimney's cheek. Albert ducked his head. 

"I wanna help you, Albert." 

"And, yeah, I'm gonna be realistic. You have little chance to graduate next week, but if we work hard and have a little luck, you will be able to." Chimney said, "And if you don't. Then you are going to kick ass with my help the next time you can apply to the academy. And we are going to AA. Okay? But we are going to do it together." 

Albert's lips contracted in a fine line. 

"Okay." When he looked up again, Chimney could see his eyes glowing with tears. "Thanks, Howie. I love you." 

Albert got up and waited for Chim to do the same and hugged him. 

"I love you too little brother," Chimney said, hugging his brother tightly. 

They had a long way ahead of them, but together they were strong enough to get through it. 

... 

Despite all their efforts, Albert couldn't complete the training the first time, and it hurt, not just to the Han brothers, but to the whole 118. 

Two weeks later they met with Bobby for a reunion with ex-alcoholics. 

Six months later, Albert finished his last physical test, and the 118 was on top of the exam building, waiting for him. 

He not only was in his official probationary year, but he learned that he had a family now. 

A family that was with him throughout all those hellish months. 

That was what the 118 was. Family.

[ranger-jedi-knight]

This Unusual Love: Dexter’s Turn

AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23365357/chapters/55982161

Ok, so this is salt cause I’m bitter bout Apple. So ya, characters MAY be OOC but whatevs. Also, so in this, me n my friend were talkin bout this fic I’d write n we’d thought it’d be fun if Raven actually had brown hair like her father. So ye, Raven has brown hair(but with small purple high lights). Finally, this was inspired by virgil-is-a-cutie and thyladyanput on Tumblr talking about different salt ideas. I hope you enjoy it!!

All Raven wanted to do was decorate the float for Thronecoming.

But NO!

Apple just had to come up to her and try once more. She kept saying everyone was at risk if she didn’t sign. How her Happily Ever After was in RISK. It didn’t help that every time Dexter thought about talking to Raven he’d get glared at by Apple. Hell, even Daring was chill with Dexter talking to who he wanted.

Though Raven had to admit it looked like he only did that since he was seriously questioning his destiny with how Apple was acting. Not that she could blame him. With every day that passed since the failure of Legacy Day, she’s gotten worse about it. Everyone could see how different Apple was. She kept going on about how unfair it was. How she needed Raven to sign to become the new Evil Queen to poison her. How she just wants her Happily Ever After.

And they could see how she kept harassing Raven.

“How can you be so selfish, Raven!? If you don’t sign the Book of Legends, everything is ruined! No one gets their Happily Ever After!” Apple yelled and all the students present watched the fight warily. They didn’t know what to do. Dexter wanted to go to Raven but Daring was holding him back, wary that something may happen to him if he went over there.

“Selfish!? Is it really that selfish to NOT want to be evil!? To not want to be put into the mirror realm with the Evil Queen!? I DON’T want to be like my mother! Why can’t you understand that!?” Raven shouted back turning to walk to the lake they were near. “Oh wait, I know. You’re too selfish thinking about your own Happily Ever After to care about anyone else.”

With that, Raven stalked over to the lake and went up to a small outcropping and sat down. She pulled her knees to her chest and wrapped her arms around her legs and watched the lake. It was clear, allowing everyone to watch the Neverland Mermaids and their children swim around. They glanced up at her quite a few times as they swam. Once they stayed looking at her she looked around and found Apple standing behind her. Hiding among the trees, Raven could just barely make out her sorta friend Blondie. “What do you want? I just want to be alone,” she asked standing up slowly to face Apple.

“I’m not done talking to you, Raven. You need to sign the Book of Legends. You’re destined to become the next Evil Queen. It’s just a matter of time. You know it,” Apple said cooly and Raven didn’t like the look in Apple’s eyes.

“Apple, how could you say that? You’re Snow’s daughter,” Raven said and Apple tilted her head with a sneer.

“It’s true though. Faybelle thinks only of herself. She’s the daughter of the Evil Fairy. She’s following her nature. You will too. But apparently, you need to make it difficult. Why can’t you just sign the damn book? Why can’t you let me have my Happily Ever After!?” Apple demanded stepping closer to Raven who looked at her shocked and scared.

“You don’t need an Evil Queen or a damn book to give you your Happily Ever After, Apple! Why do you want to follow that anyways!? Briar would never see any of us again. She’d sleep for 100 years with her family and staff. She’d have to make new friends. Marry a man she doesn’t even know. Do you truly want that for your friend!?” Raven demanded and Apple looked shocked at that.

“She’d get her Happily Ever After. I don’t see the problem with it,” she answered back coldly and Raven gasped.

“That’s a horrible thing to say. The other Royal’s even understand Briar’s worry about it. How could you not!?”

“How can you keep thinking about yourself!? Principal Grimm has said that terrible things can happen to everyone if you don’t sign the Book of Legends!” Apple shouted angrily before pushing Raven harshly. Raven gasped as she stumbled back towards the edge. She could only scream as her foot missed the edge and she fell down into the water below. Nearby shouts could be heard and Apple turned to watch as they ran to the edge’s of the lake and watched as the mermaids pulled a struggling Raven down.

“Raven!” Dexter shouted giving his glasses to Cedar before jumping into the water after her. Daring and Darling were quick to follow, knowing he’d need help getting Raven away from the deadly mermaids. Blondie snarled at Apple, glad she was doing the live stream. She heard rustling and Apple could only pale when she saw Milton and Giles behind her.

“You are in deep trouble, Miss White,” Milton said tersely.

“She’s not breathing!” Dexter shouted and Giles ran down while making sure they can get Raven to the hospital.

“I can’t even look at you, Apple. I don’t even know who you are anymore,” Blondie whispered before walking down to the others. She could only watch numbly as Giles took over CPR for Darling. Raven coughed out the water harshly but her eyes didn’t open. Soon, Raven was in the hospital with the Charming siblings, Giles, Blondie, and her parents the Good King and Evil Queen. Mira was seething when the doctor told them the news. Her husband did what he could to calm her, but nothing was working well.

Blondie went into the hall and held up her tablet to start the live stream to tell everyone when Dexter left the room in tears with his siblings walking him outside. Blondie only sighed when she held the tablet up and started the live stream. “Hello everyone. Blondie Locks reporting outside Raven Queen’s hospital room. The doctor has just informed us that Raven is in a coma. He nor his coworkers know if or when Raven will wake up. If you don’t know, earlier today, Apple White viciously attacked Raven Queen by pushing her into the Neverland Mermaid’s lake when she decided not to sign the Book of Legends. With permission from her parents and the hospital, I’ll be setting up a continuous live stream of Raven’s recovery. I’ll keep everyone up to date on any updates about Raven’s health,” Blondie said before ending the live stream and walking into the room once more to hear Raven’s parents arguing on a mirror pad. When she got closer she saw that it was Apple’s mom, Snow.

~~~~~~~~~~~~(⋟_⋞)~~~~~~~~~~~~

Two weeks.

It’s been two weeks.

Dexter could hardly believe it.

Two weeks and the doctors still don’t know how to wake Raven. The school has been abuzz with gossiping. Apple was exspelled from school and Daring told her he wanted nothing to do with her. People couldn’t believe Apple did that to sweet Raven.

They started calling her Evil White.

Evil White.

It fit her.

She changed.

Dexter could barely handle being in the same room as people talking about her. He stayed in Raven’s room primarily, accompanied by Daring or Darling, along with Maddie or Cerise. The others came by occasionally to give their well wishes.

But the most shocking thing?

Snow let Mira out of the mirror dimension.

Once Mira was out, she quickly took care of the book, making sure no one had to follow their destiny for their Happily Ever After. If they wanted it, they’d get it now. Except for Apple.

She wouldn’t get her Happily Ever After. No one wanted to be around her after what she did. After making sure she wouldn’t get her Happily Ever After, Mira willingly went back into the mirror dimension but made sure everyone knew that if she got out, she’ll be going after Apple.

Just thinking about it had Dexter sneering.

He shook his head free of all those thoughts and simply help Raven’s hand in both of his. Their combined hands rested against his chin as he looked at Raven sadly. He startled when Daring put a comforting hand on his shoulder. “Want any water, Dex?” he asked and Dexter didn’t answer at first.

He shook his head after a bit but then hesitantly started nodding it. “Actually, some water sounds good,” he replied and Daring gave his shoulder a pat before leaving to get them both some water. Dexter just looked at Raven’s face briefly before looking at their hands. “I’m so sorry, Raven. You didn’t deserve this. You just wanted to be able to be yourself, to make your own choices. But Apple wouldn’t let you. I-I should have intervened. If I had, maybe-just maybe you wouldn’t be here. You’d be safe hanging with your best friends,” he said quietly and finally looked at Raven’s peaceful face once more. “You shouldn’t have to put anyone else’s happiness before your own,” he whispered so quietly that it was hard for he himself to hear. He then moved his hands closer to his lips and pressed a soft kiss to Raven’s fingers before setting her hand down onto her bed.

As he got up to head out, those beautiful purple eyes he adored opened. “D-dex?” Raven asked hoarsely and Dexter could only look shocked.

“Raven? You’re awake?” he asked softly shocked. Raven just looked shocked as she nodded slowly. They heard a clatter and turned to see Daring standing in the doorway shocked, two plastic cups on the ground with water all over.

“Doctor! Raven’s awake!” he yelled out and a doctor came running in with a nurse. It was safe to say that everyone was shocked to learn that Dexter’s kiss woke Raven up. Dexter was blushing when he explained what happened and held Raven’s hand. They shared a smile as the doctor did a check up and Daring sat down next to Dexter.

Ok so here it is!! I hope you enjoyed it!! And remember, the next two chaps are the same as this one just for different ships. Until next time!!!! -Love Willa<3<3<3

[words-writ-in-starlight]

Some Trans!Danny Thoughts

When this hit its second page, I moved it to a new post.  In no particular order of importance.

When Danny was a year old and learning to talk, he spent two hours getting in a power struggle with his then-three-year-old sister where she pointed to him and said “Danielle” and he said “Dannel” back, and then she told him “Jasmine” and he answered “Jassem”, and it ended with two kids in tears and Maddie having straight-up given up.  This was not so much a gender thing as a “kids getting into a screaming match about nothing of import” thing.  Instead of trying to fight the point, Maddie decided that her kids were now named Dani and Jazz, and that mostly resolved the issue.  It was also extremely convenient later.

Maddie and Jack are not, shall we say, the most attentive parents in the world. Danny was in the third grade before he was required to attend a formal event of any kind (it was Jazz’s elementary school graduation), and while Maddie did manage to wrangle him into a dress, he scowled through the whole thing.  Then Jazz bounced down to them, grinning and bright-eyed, and dropped her robe onto his head, because it was June and too warm for it.  He spent the next hour running around like a wizard and destroyed the lower third of his dress and that was pretty much the ballgame on Danny and formal attire.  He wore jeans to his elementary school graduation.

Jazz started being mostly in charge of making sure Danny had clothes that weren’t, A, full of holes, or B, contaminated around when she was twelve. She decided to do the big sister thing right and took him to Target, whereupon Jazz immediately got decision paralysis. This turned into Danny, ten, and Jazz, twelve, staring at each other in the baby clothes section like they had walked into a parallel dimension, until finally Danny very slowly lifted up a blue newborn onesie covered in elephants and said “I think we’re in the wrong section,” and then they had to sit down on the floor so as not to knock anything over while they lost it.  It was a weird day for the Target employees.  Jazz pulled it together enough to turn Danny loose and tell him that he needed three t-shirts, a jacket, a pair of pants, and underwear, but not enough to actually dictate anything about the clothes he found.  If her sister wanted to run around in block colored t-shirts and a boy’s hoodie, that was between Danny and God.

The ONE dysphoria headcanon I will be including is that Danny was one of those people who went from completely flat chested to a C-cup more or less overnight when he was eleven and suddenly all the mild discomfort he’d ignored through most of his life crystallized.  Jazz offhand said that they should go buy a couple bras, because she needed some more too, and Danny fully blue-screened out for five minutes before Jazz snapped her fingers in his face and went “Hey, Earth to Fenton, are you okay?”

“I don’t want to do that,” Danny said.

“What, go shopping?  Listen, we haven’t gotten lost in a store since--”

“I don’t want to get--” Danny stopped there, because he was suddenly really not prepared to say any of the words that might go at the end of that sentence.  “Can’t I just not?”

“Not—buy a bra?” Jazz asked carefully.

“Yeah.”  And Jazz’s baby sister blinked at her from under the shaggy overgrown pixie cut she’d been getting since she was old enough to have preferences, and Jazz thought, a little idly, well, Dani won’t be able to look like a boy anymore, if she looks anything like me and Mom.  

And then Jazz, budding psychologist, opened her mouth, shut it, and said, “Tell you what, how about we don’t worry about it right now.”  So they didn’t, and watched a movie, and then after Dani went to bed, Jazz hauled one of her secondhand psychology textbooks off a bookshelf and started doing reading.

Three days of intensive research later, she sidled up to Danny and said, “Hey, I have a weird question. Do you even want to be a girl, or what?”

“Sure,” Danny said, distracted by frowning over his summer homework, in the universal tone of I’m really not listening but okay, yeah.  “I—hang on, what?”

“Would you be a girl if you had the option?”

Danny blinked at her, again, and said, like Jazz was an idiot, “Would you?”

“Yeah,” Jazz said.  “I like being a girl.  But I was thinking that maybe you might want to start school as Daniel?”

And then it was Dani’s turn, Danny’s turn, to open his mouth, shut it, and say, “Is that—a thing?”

“Sure,” Jazz said with completely unwarranted confidence.  “I’m sure I can figure it out.”

Danny went over to Tucker’s the same afternoon and said, in a tone of total shock, “Hey, did you know I was a boy?”  And that was pretty much the end of that conversation.  The conversation with Sam also featured Sam’s very earnest attempt to convert Danny to being goth, but that was because Sam was going through a Phase and tried to convert anyone who asked her anything about clothing.

Jazz helps Danny figure out how to explain to their parents.  Since it doesn’t involve ghosts, Maddie and Jack could really give a fuck what pronouns their kid uses, and since it doesn’t really change anything except that Jack starts calling him “Danny-boy” instead of “Dani-girl,” it’s not…remarkable.  

Later, Jazz is going to think about that conversation, and about the way their dad boomed a laugh and said, “From your face, I thought you were going to tell us something awful—like you were a ghost!  Sure thing, Danny-boy, sounds good.”  And she’s going to understand why Danny told them one secret and not the other.

Danny’s pediatrician is just relieved that, at Danny’s pre-school yearly physical, Jazz’s only weird question is “can you prescribe hormone blockers” rather than something like “hey if you eat something contaminated with ectoplasm do you think that’ll have effects or…?”  (Someone please put this woman out of her misery.)

Danny’s wearing his binder during the accident, which is very convenient, don’t get him wrong, but also that was his favorite binder and he’s annoyed about it getting permanently removed from his wardrobe.  It didn’t do that rolly thing at the base of the elastic, it’s hard to find binders that don’t do the rolly thing.  Sam listens to him complain about it twice and then she tries to smother him with a pillow and accidentally slam dunks him through his bed.

Also, he initially has some concerns about whether he can take his binder…off as Phantom?  You’re not supposed to wear a binder while you exercise, Jazz has drilled this into his head, and it’s not until after his first major dustup with a ghost that he remembers, huh, fighting ghosts probably counts.  Some experimenting proves that, while Phantom is a lot more…structured than your average ghost and his suit does come off, it can’t really sustain itself without him for long.  If he leaves a glove or torn clothing behind, eventually it’ll start to crumble, or, more alarmingly, melt.  On the upside, the suit seems to repair itself, and can straight up regrow any pieces that he loses.  A little more experimenting proves that Phantom doesn’t breathe except to talk, and even that seems to be mostly habit, so Operation: Fight Ghosts In A Binder is a go.

Real conversation:

“So…this is Dani,” Danny says, doing kind of a ta-da gesture at the long-haired ghost who, undeniably, looks exactly like him, if a little younger.  “She’s my clone.”

“Hi,” Jazz says gamely, and the ghost waves back.  “What are you two going to do about the name thing?  If you’re both named Daniel it’ll get confusing.”

“My name is Danielle,” the girl says, bemused.  “It’s Dani, with an I.”

“She’s not trans,” Danny says with a shrug.  Jazz feels about four hundred questions hurl themselves at the back of her teeth, and she takes a deep breath, and Danny is already smirking by the time she wrestles down the impulse to never stop talking.  “I told you it would kill her not to be able to write a paper on us,” Danny tells Dani.  Then he turns back to Jazz and says, “So, Vlad gave me a free sister and she literally does not own clothes.  I figured you could take her to Target and have a meltdown in the baby section.”

“Danny!  God, you’re such a brat, that was one time,” Jazz says, flushing, and she grabs Dani by the hand and drags her off while Danny cackles at their back.  “Congratulations on your jerk brother,” Jazz tells Dani.  “He’s giving me grey hair.”

“Don’t worry about it too much,” Dani says.  “You’ll match.”  Jazz narrows her eyes and Dani grins, unapologetic.

It makes Danny grin like an idiot the first time the Amity Times publishes a (nominally complimentary, before shit hits the fan) headline about the ghost boy, and he keeps a copy of the article.

[lexosaurus]

Everything Was White – Part 8

part [1] / [7]

read on [ffn] / [ao3]

---

Something was pushing Danny awake. 

He turned his head away. Maybe if he wasn’t facing it, it would go away.

“Danny,” a soft voice whispered. He felt another gentle push. “Danny, it’s time to get up.”

He groaned and mumbled something incoherent.

“Come on, Danny. Wake up.”

That damn voice. It was familiar.

“Danny,” his mother said in a singsong voice as she nudged him again.

Ugh, his mom was waking him up. Which meant it was probably before his alarm was set to go off, which was so annoying and hadn’t he told her that he always set his alarms? Sure, sometimes he ignored them or outright slept through them, but he wasn’t so irresponsible that he would mess up on his first day of outpatient. 

“It’s time for your first day! You have to get up!”

His eyelids lifted only for sunlight to assault his retinas. He snapped his eyes back shut and grumbled, “Go without me.” 

He could feel his mother rolling her eyes.

“I can’t go without you, honey. Come on, didn’t you go to bed early last night? I’ll make you pancakes if you get up now.”

Right. He did go to bed early last night.

Why was he so damn tired then?

But then, as if his brain were waiting for that question, the memories from last night hit him all at once.

He had a nightmare. It was about being cut open, wasn’t it? And...something else. He couldn’t remember what it was fully about now, but he knew it was bad. Maybe it was that night. The one when Operative O visited him with the red bag.

The red bag.

Oh.

His eyes flew open and zeroed in on his nightstand where he knew he had shoved the bottle of oxycodone in last night. 

Right. No wonder he was fatigued. 

He should flush the pills now.

“Well, there you are! Welcome to Earth, Danny!” His mother joked, pinching his cheek.

He groaned and brushed her hand off his face, momentarily shoving the thought of the pills to the back of his mind. He couldn’t worry about that now with his mom in his room like this. She would get suspicious, and then she would figure him out, and then she would send him back to inpatient because he couldn’t last one day outside of the hospital without resorting to his own terrible methods of self-care.

“You need help getting ready at all? I can grab a shirt from your closet if you’d like?” 

“Uh…” He glanced over to his closet. Instinctively, he wanted to refuse the help. He wouldn’t be able to rely on his parents to help him reach for clothing on hangers forever, so he should just practice as much as he could now. 

But, oh man, he was so tired. 

“Actually...yeah,” he found himself saying. “Can you just grab me a—a long sleeve? It doesn’t matter which color.”

Maddie hummed and made her way over to the closet while Danny focused on dragging himself from his bed. His wheelchair was right there, right next to his bed. He had to wonder how the hell he missed it last night during his... debacle. 

Well, whatever. He wasn’t going to let that— any of that—happen again. So it didn’t matter.

“Is this alright?” Maddie held up a plain gray shirt.

“Yeah, thanks,” Danny responded, his gaze drifting back to the nightstand drawer.

He shook his head, forcing himself to look anywhere but there. He was acting too suspicious. He just needed to chill . It was fine. 

He needed to get his mother out of his room now.

“You need anything else? Want me to grab pants? Socks?” 

“No, it’s fine, I can get those.”

“Are you sure? I’m already up.”

“I got it.”

“Alright.” Maddie smiled. “I’ll get started on those pancakes, okay? Yell if you need anything.”

“Yeah. I will.”

She left, gently closing his door behind her.

His head dropped into his hands, and he sat there, trying to rub the fatigue from his vision. Damn, it had been a while since he felt this exhausted.

Okay, Danny, get it together.

He pulled open the drawer to see the orange bottle right there where he left it, its contents gleaming under the morning sun. This was it. Now all he had to do was sneak into the bathroom and dispose of the evidence in his toilet. If he did that, he wouldn’t have to worry about anyone finding this, he wouldn’t get sent back to inpatient, and everything would be okay again. 

Reaching down, his fingers brushed against the smooth plastic sides of the bottle. 

This was it.

Danny went to wrap his fingers around the container when suddenly a light rapping sounded from his door.

“Danny? You in there?” Jazz’s muffled voice said. “Are you decent?”

“Just a minute!” Danny ripped his hands from the bottle and hastily shut the drawer. “I’m changing!”

“You need any help?”

“Ew, Jazz. I’m not a toddler!”

“Alright, alright! Just making sure. I’ll see you downstairs.”

Danny didn’t respond, instead choosing to focus on the morning routine that he established at the hospital. And by the time he dragged himself into the passenger’s seat of the GAV and shut the door, he wanted nothing more than for this day to be over.

Maddie hopped into the driver’s seat. “Alright, Danny! First day in your new program!”

“Yeah.” Danny unlocked his phone and checked his new messages from Sam and Tucker. His text the previous night was inescapably cringy to read again, but thankfully, his two friends seemed too excited by the prospect of hanging out with him that day to care. 

“Are you excited?”

Danny glanced over at his mother, eyebrows raised.

“For your first day! This is a big step, you know.”

He felt his cheeks heat up and averted his gaze back down to his phone, shrugging. 

Who cared how big of a step it was? Danny didn’t, that was for sure.

It was only the first time Danny was going to be in public since the big reveal, since returning from the Guys in White and inpatient. It was only the first time he’d be confirming to the world that yes, Danny Phantom couldn’t fly and in fact he couldn’t walk either, and Danny Phantom also slept on a concussion and was going into a building where there would be new people and he really just wanted to crawl into bed and never get up again.

“Are you nervous, honey?”

Everyone was going to know who he was. Not that everyone didn’t know who he was in the hospital, but this was different. This was a smaller group; it was more intimate. The hospital was just for stability, just enough to get him to a point where he didn’t feel like he was losing his mind anymore, but this was where the real work started. 

Was he ready for this?

“No.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah, it’s whatever. Same thing, just new people.” 

Maddie made no move to continue the conversation, so Danny took this opportunity to lean against the window, pressing his forehead against the cool glass. A car passed by him, and he saw a young child in the backseat. Her blonde hair was tied up into pigtails with two bright pink scrunchies, which bounced excitedly along with her rapidly moving mouth. Danny couldn’t make out what she was saying, but he watched as her mother broke out into a proud smile in the driver’s seat.

He closed his eyes. All these strangers around him were living out their lives, forming happy memories with their loved ones. 

He felt nauseous.

Thankfully, Maddie didn’t try to initiate conversation for the rest of the drive. 

The trek to the PHP was nothing like the short drive to school. Casper was under a twenty-minute walk from Danny’s house. It was a perfect location, just far enough away to escape the constant embarrassment of his parents’ gaudy experiments while close enough to be within a comfortable walking distance.

But this program was too far away to walk to. It was past the residential areas of Amity Park, past the shopping centers and restaurants, past the movie theater that still had a sign out for Dead Teacher Five. It was beyond Danny’s usual bubble of Amity Park, past what he knew to be home.

The car finally stopped at an office complex. He peeled his head away from the window and glanced over to see Maddie studying her phone.

“Yup, this is it. It should be on the third floor. They told me there was an elevator inside.” She pocketed her phone and unbuckled her seat belt. “Stay here, I’ll grab your chair.”

Danny looked back at the building. It seemed normal , nothing like the inpatient facility. There were no medical signs outside the building, no children’s play center and fenced-in field, no disabled schools on the property. It seemed like a normal brick office building.

Maddie opened his door, and he gingerly slipped from his seat to the chair. The distance from the GAV to his chair was far too large, and Danny was just thankful he’d managed to avoid falling face-first onto the pavement. 

The visual loudness of the GAV had always been a sore point for Danny’s perpetual teenage humiliation, but today it felt especially unbearable. He could only hope the ground would open up and swallow him whole before anyone noticed them.

“I think the ramp entrance is on the side of the building.”

Danny frowned, looking at the front door. His first instinct was to insist that it was only a few steps between the main entrance and the pavement, that he could do it. Don’t worry, he wasn’t that bad at walking.

But that would mean his mom would have to help him and who knows what would happen then. What if someone saw him? What if someone took a video of him and posted it online? The news would spread it like wildfire, and then soon everyone would get to see Phantom struggling through a door. It would be trending in an hour. 

“Okay, let’s do the ramp.”

The interior of the building was small and plain. Reading over the office list next to the elevator, Danny saw nothing out of the ordinary. On the first floor was a financial consulting office, a construction management company on the second, and on the third floor in blue letters were the words “Kaufman Health Center.” 

The elevator door swung open with a ding, and—with some help from his mom—Danny maneuvered himself inside.

This was it. No turning back.

Not that he had a choice.

Danny tried to focus on his breathing. He was fine, this was fine. It didn’t matter that by the time he got home today, the entire internet would have leaked pictures and information detailing his recovery. What, did he think he was really entitled to privacy? Of course this wasn’t going to last.

He refused to acknowledge the sound of the elevator door opening up once again, but his mother pushed him out of the doors anyway. He hated it. He hated how his hands automatically took over and moved him to the door, hated how easily he pressed the accessible button next to the door, and he hated how little effort it took him to wheel himself into the lobby of the health center.

This wasn’t what he planned his life to become. He wasn’t supposed to be here. He was supposed to be at school right now, messing around with Sam and Tucker, maybe texting during class, planning their next movie night or talking about how cheesy last week’s film was. He was supposed to be pretending Phantom and he were separate entities and that Fenton was nothing more than some random geek.

He wasn’t supposed to be here.

And yet…

Danny peered up to see another teen gawking at him from across the lobby. He and Danny locked eyes, and the other teen jolted out of his trance as if he’d been slapped, his head hurriedly swiveling away as he shoved his hands into his hoodie pockets.

Danny glared down at his lap, his face burning. From the corner of his vision, he could see the teen move out of the lobby, but Danny couldn’t look back up at him. Was it shame? Embarrassment? The weight of his failures? 

It didn’t matter. None of it mattered.

He was here. He was really here. It was a real place with real people and real problems, and he was now a part of it.

Maddie went over to the front desk and talked to the bubbly voice behind the counter, but Danny wasn’t listening to what they were saying. He refused to. It was just…

How did he end up here?

Another teen crossed in front of him, and Danny could feel the stares. But there was nothing he could do. Everyone was going to know now...everyone…

He pushed himself over to the wall near the couches. Maybe if he was out of the center of the room, he would be invisible again, just like he used to be as only Fenton. Maybe if he kept his head down and held his breath, nobody would notice him. 

Maddie sat down in the empty chair next to him, her hand armed with a clipboard full of paperwork. Danny knew she had noticed his tense behavior—she had to—but thankfully, she didn’t say anything.

Danny watched her fill out his paperwork, making notes in the “medical history” section of the paperwork with the practice of someone who had been writing it for years.

How many nights had she spent, then, reading his reports over and over again until they were burned into her memory? How often did she open his files, checking and double checking every detail until she was cross-eyed? How often did Jack have to tug the files out of her hands so she could go to sleep?

Maddie deserved better. She shouldn’t have had to be dealing with him, worrying about him like this, taking him to the doctors and therapists every day. She shouldn’t have had to worry about the media hounding her, or her stupid half-ghost son who stupidly got revealed on national television.

No, she deserved so much better.

“Maddie? Maddie Fenton?” 

Danny flinched, the voice shocking him from his pity party. He looked up to see a short woman in a park cardigan appear from the hallway. She strode across the blue carpet, her hand extended out in front of her.

Maddie stood and shook the woman’s hand. “Hello. Yu-Jin, is it?”

“That’s right.” She nodded, a bright smile decorating her face. “We spoke on the phone a few days ago, but it’s nice to formally meet you.”

“Yes,” Maddie said. She turned to Danny, placing her hand on his shoulder.

It felt heavy.

“This is my son, Danny.”

“Uh…” Danny’s hands fidgeted on his lap. Was this woman expecting a handshake? She hadn’t made any movements to get one, so did that mean she didn’t want to touch him? Or maybe she wasn’t allowed to since he was a minor? Was he being rude by not even offering a handshake?

Oh god, was he messing this whole thing up before it could even begin?

She gave him a short wave. “Hello, Danny. It’s nice to meet you. I’m the head therapist for your group, and I look forward to working with you the next few weeks.” 

“Hi…” 

God, he was so embarrassing. This was the first person he had met outside of the hospital who knew he was Phantom and he was just going to act like this? Completely incompetent? He might as well be back in the government compound, then.

“I understand this is a difficult transition, Danny,” she continued. “I hope we can help make this process a little easier for you. Everyone here is very kind, and I think this place will be a good fit for you.”

“I think it will too,” Maddie said.

Danny picked at his cuticles. He wasn’t so sure.

This woman seemed nice but she wasn’t... her. The therapist from the other place. Danny combed through his brain for a name, but came up blank. 

Surely he would have gotten her name though, right? It might’ve been on a piece of paper somewhere? But Danny knew, deep down inside, that he never wrote down her name during his stay and wouldn’t be able to remember it. Not now, not tomorrow, not next week. It was simply gone from his memory.

The new therapist—Danny had already forgotten her name too—chattered on with Maddie about...Danny didn’t know what. He’d stopped listening. His mind was already drifting to other places.

He wondered if the redhead from inpatient was doing alright. He was too nice of a person to be in this situation. Danny couldn’t remember his name either...

“—and Danny?”

Danny’s head snapped back into focus. He blinked, surveying the quiet lobby before his eyes landed on the new therapist.

Oh, right. He was at the new building with the new people and the new schedule.

He was too tired to be here.

“Yeah?” 

“I told your mother this over the phone, but it’s important I let you know as well that we can provide any accommodations you may need during your time with us. So please don’t be shy if you need any help with anything from us.”

Danny felt his eyebrows scrunch. Just what in the world was she talking about? Accommodations?

...oh. 

“I—I don’t have...I’m human, I swear,” Danny stammered. “I, uh, I mean I’m not, but—but—it’s not—I’m not—”

“Oh heavens, no! My apologies. I should have been clearer. I was referring to disability accommodations. We build our therapies and activities to be done by anyone regardless of mobility, but occasionally, we may have to make slight adjustments for you. Don’t be afraid to speak up about anything, alright?”

“Okay.” Danny hoped his face hid his confusion.

She turned back to Maddie. “I’ll let you finish the paperwork up. Please feel free to ask Sharon any questions you may have. We keep copies of the schedule at the front desk if you would prefer a printed version. Danny, would you like to come with me? I’ll show you to our room.”

“Yeah.” His eyes flickered back up to his mother. Despite her calm expression before, now her face was pinched, her smile strained.

“See you later?” He didn’t mean for his voice to come out like a question, and he mentally kicked himself for doing so.

“Goodbye, Danny. I’ll see you for pickup, okay?” Maddie said. 

Danny undid the brakes on his chair. “Bye, Mom.”

“Don’t forget we’re going straight to PT after.”

“Alright, I know.”

“I’ll bring you a snack to eat on the way. Okay?” 

“Sure.”

“Would you rather a granola bar or a banana? I can bring both if you’d—”

“Banana.” Danny said, the words slipping out of his mouth with a speed that surprised even himself. He swallowed. “Banana’s good.”

“Alright, sweetie. Have a good day.”

Danny turned so he wouldn’t have to see his mother’s misting eyes. “Yeah. You too.”

“Okay, Danny?” the therapist said, waving him forward. “Come with me.”

Every eye in the room was on him. 

Danny knew that this would happen. Ultimately, he was Phantom, whether he wanted to be right now or not.

But even then, every eye in the room was on him.

He hesitated, unsure if he should proceed deeper into the room or not. On one hand, he could act like he didn’t notice anything strange and go over to the small group of teens sitting at the table. On the other hand, he could say something. Introduce himself. Maybe if he spoke, people would snap out of it.

But at the moment, all he could do was stare back.

Maybe one of the teens would realize what they were doing and look away. Maybe one of them would speak first. Or maybe—

The door burst open with a loud, “Sorry I’m late, I—oh! Uh, hi.”

Danny blinked, staring back at the teen in front of him. She was tall, with thick blonde curls tied up in a ponytail. She stood in front of him, looking as if she had just run a mile. 

“Uh…” Danny froze, unsure of what to do. He could wave, but that might’ve been weird. He should just talk, but he was pretty sure if he tried that, his voice would choke up.

Thankfully, he was saved from responding by the therapist entering the room. “Jessica, good to see you! Don’t forget to fill out the morning check-in sheet. Danny, you too. We fill these out each morning to establish a baseline for how we’re doing before our morning meeting.”

Danny followed the blonde girl to the table—making sure to sit at the corner, as far away from the other teens as possible—and grabbed a piece of paper. It was a simple questionnaire, and it seemed easy enough to do. 

But everyone was still staring at him. 

Why was he like a zoo animal on display?

Phantom was such a fascinating subject, isn’t that what he’d been told before his reveal? How fascinating he was as a ghost because he was just so different from the other ghosts? He remembered reading all the theories back then and laughing about them because he thought that nobody would ever get to the truth. 

There were subreddits about him, countless usernames analyzing his fights and trying to pick apart what exactly made him so special. What made Phantom so powerful? Why did he do the things that he did?

The truth was far less glamorous than the theorists anticipated. As it turned out, Phantom was just some weird mutant half-breed. That was all.

‘How did you sleep last night?’ the check-in sheet asked.

What would it matter if he didn’t sleep well? It wasn’t like he ever slept before the reveal, and no one seemed to care. Why was it different now—because he was suddenly fascinating as a human too?

Danny felt the back of his neck itch, and he wondered if he’d be able to dig his pen into his neck and remove the ecto-suppressing chip himself. After all, what was a little more nerve damage to him?

‘Did you shower this morning?’ 

Danny didn’t even want to think about that. The stupid bench. It shouldn’t have felt any different from when he was in inpatient, but for some reason, it did. Maybe he thought that everything would suddenly go back to normal once he got home. Maybe that was what he wanted to happen.

But it didn’t.

And people were still glancing at him.

“Fascinating…” The operative studied the device hovering over his chest. “Your core has nestled itself right next to your heart, right in the center of your chest. It should be restricting your lung, theoretically, but its small size combined with your lesser need for oxygen makes the whole system work seamlessly. Truly fascinating anatomy…”

That particular operative hadn’t hurt him—not physically—but something about the way he was speaking made Danny feel sick nonetheless. At the time, Danny had chalked it up due to the fact that he was the Guys in White’s latest little test subject for what he assumed was the rest of his life. 

But now that he was home, now that he was here under the stares of these new strange teens, he realized that maybe there was more to it than that.

Maybe, just maybe, Danny didn’t want to be fascinating to everyone else. Maybe he just wanted to fucking exist in peace. Maybe he didn’t want to be here.

Maybe he could still get his old life back.

The chair across from him moved, and Danny looked up to see the therapist sit down, clipboard in hand.

“Good morning, everyone.” The therapist beamed at the group. “We’ll begin our morning meeting in just a second. First, I’m sure you all have noticed, but we have a new peer joining us today. Why don’t we go around the circle and introduce ourselves so we’re all acquainted before we do anything else. Alright? I’ll go first.”

Danny wanted to point out that she’d already introduced herself, but then he remembered that he couldn’t remember her name and didn’t she read his file and already know that this was a waste of time because there was no way in hell his stupid brain would be able to memorize all these names?

But he bit his tongue.

“I’m Yu-Jin, and I’m the lead therapist for this group. I’ve been here for eight years, and I’m very happy to be working with you all.” She turned to the blonde girl. “Would you like to go next?”

The blonde girl gave Danny a quick wave. “I’m Jessica. I’m sixteen and I go to Brickstone High. Nice to meet you.”

“I’m Mark,” said the boy next to her. He was tall, broad, and if not for the brown hair, could have easily resembled Dash Baxter. “Seventeen, and I go to Central High.”

A timid voice came next. “Maria. I’m seventeen.”

“Hey, I’m Arabelle,” a girl with teal hair styled into a pixie cut said. Her gaze flickered over to Danny once before remaining pointedly fixed on the therapist. “I’m fifteen and I’m from Elmerton.”

Danny took stock of the other teens. They didn’t seem like they despised his existence, at least. So maybe it could have been worse.

But the discomfort that was radiating off of each of them was palpable. Their eyes either didn’t leave Danny or avoided him like the plague. It was as if he were a feral beast poised to attack if a single foot stepped out of line.

Maybe you are a cornered animal, Fenturd. Isn’t that how Dash treated you? In the locker room that day?

“Danny? Would you like to introduce yourself?” the therapist asked, her voice cutting through his brain like a hot knife.

Danny surveyed the room one last time. If he did open his mouth and speak, then everyone would know how much he’d lost over the past months. Everyone would hear him, and any dignity he had left would evaporate in an instant.

But what choice did he have? If he didn’t speak, he would be sent back to inpatient, and he would never be able to return to Casper High.

This was so humiliating.

“Hi.” Danny paused. That was right! If he just focused on saying small words, he might be able to get through this intact. He could do this, he just had to be as direct as he could.

“I’m Danny.”

And just like that, everyone’s eyes had zeroed in on him. 

Should he continue? Was it even worth it? Everyone here already knew who he was. They’d likely seen all the news footage of his disappearance, they probably knew about the court case, they’d probably seen photos and videos of his parents and sister and maybe even his classmates and old teachers too.

But if he didn’t continue with the introduction, would people just think he was being rude? Would they assume him to be some raging narcissist? 

His head turned down to his lap where he watched his fingers twist together. He wished he had that stress ball right now, the one from inpatient. It would be so much better to have something like that in here.

“I’m sixteen.”

There. That was bound to suffice for his introduction. It was short, it was to the point, and it got out everything that this group would need to know about him for the rest of the day. 

When was this program going to end?

“Welcome, Danny,” said the therapist. “We are happy to have you in this group, and we hope you feel comfortable here as well.”

He hoped he gave her a weak smile at the very least, but he wouldn’t be surprised if it looked like a grimace.

“Alright, let’s get started on our morning check-in discussion. Just a reminder to everyone that everything said here is confidential; it stays between us,” the therapist said. “So for the morning check-in, we’re just going to read off of our sheets so we can see how we’re all doing today.”

Danny’s brain short-circuited. He glanced over to his questionnaire, and it seemed to be positively glowing under the bright ceiling lights. 

No. No way. They were going to make him share this? Just in front of everyone?

They couldn’t.

He looked up to see the blonde girl holding her sheet up in front of her. She was moving her lips, her face looking passive, bored. 

Danny dug his fingernails into his palms. He didn’t understand why this surprised him at all. They all had to share personal details in inpatient, didn’t they? It wasn’t like any of this was new to him, so why did it feel so different?

Because it was different now. Before, he was confined in a space with teens, most of whom were taken straight from the hospital. They couldn’t leave, they had no one to gossip with aside from their therapists, and everyone was too busy getting used to their new medications to worry about each other.

But here? The teens here would go home at the end of the day. They would tell their parents that they were in a group with Danny Phantom and they might talk about him and even if the therapist said this was all confidential, was it really? He wasn’t stupid, he knew people would talk. He was a news topic, a national event, a celebrity.

He was Danny Phantom. 

Or...he was.

He tried to grasp at his core, but it was still too dull and muted and he couldn’t feel it like he used to. His body wasn’t what it should’ve been. He was trapped in this faux-human bubble, and he needed to escape it.

Back in freshman year of high school, Danny had so desperately wanted to be popular. He wanted to be loved and respected by his peers, he wanted their acceptance. He remembered trying so hard to fit in. He tried buying the right clothes and going after the right girls and listening to the right music in the fleeting hope that maybe somebody would give him the attention he so craved.

If Danny had a time machine now, he would go back to that time, punch himself in the face, and yell at him to give up because you don’t want the attention, you don’t want it like this!

They said the grass was always greener on the other side, and Danny had never understood what that meant until now. He had the attention he wanted, but it cost him everything. 

He wouldn’t be able to fit in here, not with him out as Danny Phantom. Not after everything that happened. Not after the Guys in White, the broken bones, the damaged nerve system, the memory and speech issues, the loss of everything that kept him whole.

This fame wasn’t worth it.

He was so stupid.

Being an invisible loser sucked, but at least he could still be Phantom when he wanted to be. Now the roles were reversed and Fenton just... sucked. 

“Danny?”

Danny jolted up to see everyone—once again—staring at him. 

What now?

“Would you like to share your check-in sheet with us?” The therapist nodded encouragingly.

Danny obediently picked up his paper. “Today I’m...I…” He felt his face grow red. He would take another day hooked up to the Guys in White’s ectoplasm machine to this. “I’m feeling okay. I—uh, I didn’t shower this morning. I took my...um…I—I took...I took...”

The sheet slipped through his fingers and fell onto his lap. He made no effort to pick it up again.

He kept his head low, his lips parted slightly, trying to form words that wouldn’t come out. He felt his eyes sting, and he forced the tears back because he was not crying right now, he refused to be like this in front of all these strange teens and he was not crying, damn it.

This sucked. He sucked. He wished he could skip this part of the day and go to PT. At least then he would be up and moving, focusing on strengthening his body, focusing on actually getting better instead of whatever this bullshit was.

He couldn’t do this.

“Sorry,” he mumbled, even if he really wasn’t sorry at all. He was pissed and his chest hurt and he was sick of sitting all the time and he wanted to leave.

“It’s alright, Danny,” the therapist said. “No one said this was going to be easy. Would you like to try again?”

He shook his head. He knew he wouldn’t be able to. He just couldn’t do this. 

“That’s okay. Can everyone hand me their check-in sheets?”

But Danny didn’t want to pick up his questionnaire again because that would mean he would have to give it to her, this woman that he didn’t know and then she would have it and he couldn’t do that because then she would wonder what the hell was the big deal why Danny didn’t want to share his check-in sheet like everyone else did no problem and she was going to contact his parents and what if she shared his sheet with anyone else what was going to happen then?

“Danny, can I have your paper?”

Danny ripped the sheet of paper off his lap and thrust it out to her like it was a venomous snake.

“Thank you,” she said.

Danny refused to look at her face.

Who knew the great Danny Phantom would be defeated by a piece of paper?

He couldn’t imagine how he looked, head low, shoulders hunched, his movements stiff and uncoordinated. It was no wonder why everyone was staring at him. 

Really, Daniel, Vlad would say. You can’t act like that and expect people not to notice.

Danny’s arm twitched, and it took everything in his power to refrain from pulling his hair out of his skull. 

He didn’t want to be here. He didn’t want to be around all these people. He didn’t want to have to pour out his feelings in front of these strangers.

Where the hell was Desiree when he needed her? He wanted everything to go back to the way it was. He couldn’t do this, he couldn’t be here, and if this was going to be the rest of his life, then he didn’t want it anymore.

---

<previous chapter / next chapter>

Sorry to those who thought this fic was abandoned! It’s not, it just took me too long to figure out how to write this chapter. But in doing so, I actually have the first draft of most of the next chapter written. So that’s good!

As always, a hugeee thank you to @imekitty for not only beta-ing this chapter, but helping me sort through the mess of thoughts that was the first drafts. Additionally, thank you so so much to @prydoniantrash for helping me with the PHP details! 

Thanks for reading!

[darks-ink]

Parasite

Prompt: Plasmius is an evil ghost that has possessed Vlad since his accident. Vlad fights back as much as he can – silently apologizing to overshadowed businessmen while they share a mind, diverting malicious attention away from Jack and Maddie, and holding back against Danny long enough for him to learn Plasmius’ weaknesses – but he won’t be able to on much longer Prompt by: @sapphireswimming Word count: 4,056 Genre: Angst with happy ending

Content warning: possession, loss of control, powerlessness, self-sacrifice, dark themes

[AO3] [FFN] [more Phic Phight fics]

---

Plasmius, Vlad was sure, was the world’s punishment for any and all bad thoughts he had ever had. It was the harshest wake-up call imaginable… and unimaginable. Because, honestly, who could ever believe such a thing?

With the power of hindsight, Vlad had come to know, and acknowledge, that he’d been an awful human being. In college, he had constantly shunned Jack’s kindness, every attempt at friendship despite Vlad’s prickly responses. And Maddie… Oh, Maddie. He had refused to accept her interest in Jack, sure that he just had to convince her that Vlad was the better choice.

He’d been toxic, from top to bottom. That, Vlad was sure of.

It was not all that surprising, then, that this flaw of personality drew in equally toxic ghosts. Or, one ghost, specifically. A type of spectral parasite, which latched onto Vlad during the accident with the Proto Portal.

Vlad had not been in a good place, back then. He’d been in pain, horribly mutilated. Had been going through an experience no one else knew of, could sympathize or help with.

And all of that had been so much, that Vlad honestly hadn’t even realize that part of it wasn’t his newfound part ghost nature. Part of it had been a parasite, possessing him.

It had started slow. Had whispered bad thoughts into Vlad’s ear, its core pressed against Vlad’s until they were impossible to tell apart.

Had they ever truly been separate? Vlad didn’t know. Maybe not. Maybe he had only ever become half-ghost because a full ghost had possessed him.

Because that was what this was. Possession. Most people think that there is no difference between overshadowing and possession, but there is. It was just that most ghosts wouldn’t lower themselves to possession. There was no point to it, really, for most ghosts. It would allow them a foothold in the human world, yes, but it came with severe weakening. With a constant struggle to overpower the human they mingled with.

Plasmius had gotten lucky. He’d gotten his claws on Vlad just when he’d been sick, and weak, and ecto-contaminated.

And Plasmius had dug his talons in until Vlad couldn’t throw the ghost off anymore. Plasmius had integrated himself so neatly into Vlad’s very anatomy that removing him would surely kill the both of them.

The ghost had waited until Vlad was at his weakest, most inclined to listen to the venomous thoughts in his head, and then lunged. Had hard-handedly torn the steering wheel out of Vlad’s hands, pushing him into the crevices of his own mind, his own body.

At first, Vlad had let him. Plasmius wasn’t held back by any of Vlad’s weakness, his sickness, his lack of control. Plasmius wielded their ghost powers like an expert—because he was, really, an expert. Plasmius settled the ectoplasm and the flesh into their right forms, into a perfect mixture of the two, until their body was no longer wracked by sickness.

Plasmius dreamt of the things that Vlad wanted. Of getting riches, of getting revenge on those who hurt them, of getting the love they deserve.

Sometimes, Vlad wondered if he had influenced Plasmius right back. If he had carved the ghost’s mind into the same patterns as his own. Most times, however, he decided it didn’t matter. They had long surpassed the part where Vlad could influence Plasmius.

Freed from the hold of the hospital, of their sickness and weakness, Vlad had rejoiced. With Plasmius’ help, even his skin cleared up, scars fading away like nothing had ever even happened.

He’d asked, foolishly, what he could do for Plasmius to repay him for services rendered.

And Plasmius had laughed, in their shared mind space. Had cackled, sharp and vicious and unkind in every way.

“You won’t do anything, anymore,” Plasmius had told him. And after that, Vlad couldn’t remember anything.

The memories got muddled, then. Plasmius had torn control away from Vlad entirely. The only things he knew was what the ghost had accidentally slipped through into their shared space.

It was something about the way the ghost was constructed, Vlad thought. He could have his thoughts to his own, and speak to Plasmius only when he wanted to, but the ghost could not. All of Plasmius’ thoughts were direct, and easy to read.

They were the only thing Vlad knew, most of the time. He had no input from his body, from their shared body. Nothing from outside. Nothing but Plasmius’ thoughts.

So, over the years, Vlad had had a lot of time to think, and to reflect. To realize his many mistakes. To vow to do better.

Occasionally, Vlad was joined in the mind space by another mind. The first time it had startled him, but he knew what had caused it. Plasmius desired money, because money was power in the human world. But Plasmius was no businessman, had no financial smarts.

Instead, the ghost used the thing he did know: his ghostly abilities. Plasmius overshadowed businessman after businessman, forcing them to give their possessions, their riches and businesses, to Vlad. Or, more accurately, to Plasmius in Vlad’s body.

And, every time Plasmius overshadowed someone, the poor soul would gain temporary access to their mind space.

At first, Vlad apologized to every person Plasmius overshadowed. The businessmen, especially, he silently apologized to. Silently, because he didn’t want to draw Plasmius’ anger, his ire. The ghost probably couldn’t do him any harm, but the same could not be said of the people he overshadowed.

Later on, after Vlad realized what Plasmius was planning for their future, he started asking people to stop them. To stop him. He apologized first, of course, but then pressed on to point fingers at Plasmius. Begged people to please, please, inform authorities of Vlad Masters, dangerous half-ghost.

Plasmius had to be stopped, even if that came as the cost of Vlad’s life.

Nothing ever came of it. He didn’t know why. Didn’t know what to change so he could just convince someone.

Vlad Masters became a rich man. The proud owner of a Wisconsin mansion, decked out liberally in green and gold and Packers memorabilia. Plasmius, apparently, had decided that the Packers were an interest they shared.

Plasmius’ eyes started wandering back to the rest of his list of goals. Of acquiring Maddie’s love, of doing away with Jack.

And Vlad… Vlad thought back of all the scared businessmen that Plasmius had hurt. Of Maddie’s lovely smiles, and of Jack’s overly jubilant attempts at friendship.

He steered Plasmius away. To the best of his abilities, of course. He threw up distractions, made suggestions for Plasmius to pursue.

Two decades, he made it last. Two decades of holding off Plasmius, before the ghost finally decided it was time to chase down Jack and Maddie.

Twenty years was a long life, Vlad had consoled himself. And he peeked in on Plasmius’ vicious plans, and suggested, meekly, a college reunion.

The invites were sent out in Vlad’s name, of course. Two of them went to a little town by the name of Amity Park, addressed to Jack and Maddie Fenton. Plasmius had been beyond anger, but Vlad…

Vlad was glad. He was happy that those two had found support and love in each other. That they hadn’t been driven apart by his own accident.

Plasmius was still gunning for Jack, Vlad knew. Was sending all matter of ghosts after the man, yet none of them had succeeded. The few that dared to return to the mansion explained that another ghost had stopped them.

This, Vlad realized, was driving Plasmius crazy. The ghost decided, apparently, that he would just do the job himself.

See, Vlad had steered Plasmius towards a college reunion in the hopes that the ghost wouldn’t be crazy enough to murder Jack Fenton with so many witnesses. Now, he had started to worry that that might not be the case.

He had still been busy wondering if Jack and Maddie had held onto their interest in ghost hunting when Plasmius got agitated all over again. The ghost that had thwarted Plasmius’ attempts at killing Jack in Amity had come along.

Danny Phantom. The half-ghost son of Jack and Maddie Fenton.

Plasmius had tacked another goal onto his to-do list. To kill Jack, to acquire Maddie’s love, and to destroy Danny.

“Why not recruit him?” Vlad had asked, foolishly. “Isn’t he like us/you?”

This, apparently, had been the wrong thing to say. Plasmius had gotten even more agitated.

As it turned out, little Danny Fenton-Phantom was an actual half-ghost. They were a thing of legend, something that no one thought could exist. Plasmius had designed their shared body with this in mind. No one would be able to tell that Vlad was possessed, because they would be unaware of what was normal for a half-ghost like them.

Danny, however, would know. Or would lead others to know.

So the boy had to be destroyed, lest anyone else figure out what was wrong with Vlad.

And Vlad had looked at this teenager, this boy barely fourteen years old, and prayed for forgiveness for what he was about to do.

He had started pushing. Prodding Plasmius into lashing out, into making more and more vicious plans, in revealing his hand. And, simultaneously, in coaxing Danny to find their weaknesses. Steering the boy into knowing what Plasmius could do, and how to take him down.

Danny had to know that Vlad Masters—Vlad Plasmius, apparently—was trying to kill him. All Vlad needed for him was to get too fed up, go too far.

To end it. Before Plasmius could do worse.

---

Plasmius had another plan to take out Danny. Daniel, the ghost insisted on calling him. Plasmius had never been very good at respecting other people’s desires.

Vlad no longer wondered where that came from, either.

But his strength was waning. His ability to influence Plasmius lessened and lessened.

Which is why they were in the Fentons’ lab, now. They were fighting, Vlad thought, but he had no way to really know. Plasmius had locked him out of his own body twenty years ago, and had never let up.

So when Vlad suddenly thudded against a hard floor, cold against his bare hands, staring up at a blue face with blank red eyes and fangs, well.

He might’ve screamed.

A bolt of green knocked the ghost away from him, and it—he, something in Vlad’s mind told him this was Plasmius—snarled.

“Oh no you don’t!” a youthful voice yelled. Vlad didn’t look at the source, too busy taking in the ghost that had inhabited his body for all those years.

Pallid blue skin, only visible on the face and part of the neck. The eyes were entirely red, with no way to distinguish sclera from iris from pupil. Black hair, swept strangely in the shape of horns, and a matching black goatee. Pointed ears, and overlong fangs, which the ghost bared at either Vlad or whoever had yelled.

The clothing was a strange mix of vampire-like and lab clothes. Mostly white, the shirt tunic-like but with a tight shiny collar and gloves. A big cape, though, flaring out and red on the inside.

Plasmius snarled again, and Vlad could see, now, that his fingers were sharp like claws.

“Alright, that’s enough out of you,” the voice behind Vlad decided, and another bolt of green blasted against Plasmius.

Naturally, this only riled the ghost up more. He pushed himself up, lunging forward at Vlad.

A blue vortex caught him before he made it all the way, and the ghost was sucked up. Vlad followed the stream, repressing his surprise at the fact that his body let him, and saw…

Well, it must be Danny Fenton-Phantom. Just a boy, dressed in a black jumpsuit that reminded Vlad of the ones Jack always liked so much. Messy hair, an unnatural white, and glowing green eyes.

“Seriously, Vlad, what’s wrong with this guy?” Danny asked him, shaking the device that Plasmius had been sucked into. “I thought that taking you through the Ghost Catcher would help me understand you better, but this just made me more confused.”

Vlad blinked at him. “The… huh?”

“The Ghost Catcher,” Danny repeated, like that was the only part that could’ve confused Vlad. He gestured next to him, at a giant dreamcatcher-like invention. Its net glowed an eerie ectoplasmic green.

Yeah, that looked like something Jack might put together.

“What did… How did…?”

“You are seriously out of it,” Danny commented, frowning at him. “Your ghost half was all snarly, so I figured you were the smart half, but now I’m starting to doubt that.”

Danny had separated them, somehow. For twenty years, Vlad had thought that that would be impossible. From the moment Plasmius rewrote his body to be half human and half ghost, he thought it would’ve killed them both.

“How?” he asked again. He had to know. Could they destroy Plasmius, did he have the time—the strength—to do it himself?

“The Ghost Catcher.” Danny shook his head, watched as Vlad pushed himself into a sitting position. “It takes all the ectoplasm out of your system. When I went through it I got two distinct personalities, so I figured I would try it with you, but…”

Danny trailed off, then shrugged. “You’re not as mean as before, though, so I guess your feral half took that.”

“It was always his to begin with,” Vlad scoffed. He tried standing up, but wobbled precariously. Danny caught him by the arm before he fell, though.

“Well, yeah, I guess most of your anger came from the accident that made you a half-ghost, but—”

“No,” Vlad interrupted him. “The accident didn’t make me half-ghost. He did.”

Danny rolled his eyes, dropping Vlad’s arm. “Yeah, yeah, I know. You always blame my dad for it.”

“That’s not what I was saying at all.” Vlad shook his head, but let his eyes wander back to the… what did Danny call it? The Ghost Catcher? “The accident with the Proto Portal didn’t make me half-ghost either. Not directly, at least. I’ve got myself to blame at least as much as your parents.”

“Oh, uh.” Danny blinked at him, apparently surprised at the admission. “I mean, I guess that the Portal gave you Ecto Acne, and then that made you—”

“Plasmius made me half-ghost.” Vlad tore his eyes off of the miraculous invention, back towards Danny. Back towards the device in his hand that held Plasmius. “We need to destroy him, before he gets out.”

“Woah, woah.” Danny held up his hands. “That’s a little extreme, isn’t it? I mean, my two halves didn’t like each other that much either, but—”

“You don’t get it, Danny!” Vlad snapped. His heart thumped in his chest, blood roaring through his ears. Sensations he’d missed for twenty years while Plasmius paraded his body around. “You’re a real half-ghost. I never was. I was human, and Plasmius was the ghost who possessed me. Why do you think he wanted you gone so badly?”

The boy stared at him, so still that Vlad wondered if he still had to breathe in his ghost form.

“You… called me Danny,” he finally said, quietly.

Vlad resisted the urge to throw his hands in the air. “Yes,” he snapped, then stamped down his anger as well. He could be angry later, when Plasmius was gone for good.

“Yes,” he repeated, more calmly. “I’ve been referring to you as Danny the whole time, since you’ve said that that was your name. I… I have had a lot of time to think. To realize the mistakes I’ve made in my life.” To repent, he thought, but didn’t say. To realize that he’d been so terrible that no one saw the difference between him and Plasmius.

“I… I don’t know if you can live without your ghost half,” Danny said, eventually, reluctantly. “If you’ve been half-ghost for twenty years, like Plasmius always said…”

“I don’t care. If I die… so be it.” Vlad ran a hand through his hair, startled to find it tied back into a ponytail. At least Plasmius had kept their hair long, he supposed. “He has been puppeteering my body for twenty years, Danny. The only things I knew for twenty years were his thoughts, and his thoughts only. I had no control, could only make suggestions, and he’s been getting harder and harder to influence as time moved on.”

“That’s why he always held back.” Danny’s eyes grew wide. “I wondered about that. Why you—he, whatever—never used the full power of twenty years of experience. You held him back.”

Vlad nodded. “I wanted you to figure out his weaknesses. To grow strong enough to… to put an end to it.”

“You wanted me to kill you. Both of you,” Danny realized, his voice dropping.

“It would’ve been a bad thing to put on you,” Vlad agreed. “But the alternative would’ve been worse. Plasmius… he couldn’t be stopped. For twenty years, I derailed him into focusing on wealth, on acquiring power, but he finally set himself on his original goals. He would’ve killed Jack, would’ve found a way, no matter how despicable, to make Maddie his own. When he found you, a real half-ghost, he added your destruction to your list. And once he had achieved all those goals?” Vlad scoffed. “It would’ve been awful. Plasmius has no compassion, no caring.”

“So you wanted me to kill you? To put blood on the hands of a fourteen year old?”

“Better to hurt one teenager than to kill dozens. Or more, perhaps.” Vlad shook his head. “Even if it was the wrong thing to do, it doesn’t matter anymore. You’ve found a solution to split him off without shedding any blood. Now we just need to destroy him, permanently.”

Danny’s hands tightened around the tube-like device. “I— I can’t. I’m not gonna kill some ghost just based on— I can’t just kill some ghost.”

“Then give me some kind of invention from your parents and I’ll do it myself.” Vlad drew back his shoulders. “He needs to be gone, Danny. I’ve lost twenty years of my life to him. He has hurt countless people, and would hurt far more. Will hurt many more, if you let him out.”

The boy shook his head. “I can’t let that happen. He can stay in the Thermos.”

“Sooner or later he’ll break out of that,” Vlad insisted. He couldn’t… couldn’t risk that. Never again. “Or someone will release him.”

“I’ll bury it.” Danny met Vlad’s gaze. Stubborn to no end. Not very surprising, Vlad supposed, knowing the boy’s parents. Both Jack and Maddie were not known for giving up.

“It’ll get dug up.” Vlad stared at Danny, tried to will him into understanding. “Danny. I know you don’t like this. It’s a cruel thing to ask of a boy your age. To ask of anyone, really. Give me the… the Thermos, and your parents and I can take care of it. They’re still ghost hunters, aren’t they?”

“I…” He bit his lip, looking down at the Thermos in his hands. “I… I don’t think that that’s a good idea. They think that all ghosts are like that. This will just be— be proof that I don’t want them to have. They’ll think that all half-ghosts are like that.”

“That I’m like that” went unsaid, but Vlad heard it anyway.

“They don’t have to know that Plasmius possessed me all this time,” Vlad insisted. He needed the ghost destroyed. It had to happen, no matter what. “I just need him gone, Danny. I need to know that he will never hurt anyone ever again.”

“I just… I can’t let that happen.” Danny shook his head, slowly moving his arm until the Thermos clipped onto his belt. “He’ll add to my parents’ proof of how bad ghosts are, and even if I let you three deal with him… What’s stopping him from just possessing you again? Or one of my parents?”

Danny shook his head again, the movement sharper, jerkier. “I… I’ve dealt with bad ghosts like him before. That one, I left locked in a Thermos at Clockwork’s tower. I’ll do that with Plasmius too.”

“In the Ghost Zone?” It was not ideal, but… the Thermos would not decay in the Zone, and no ghost would be crazy enough to mess with such a device. And even if Plasmius broke out, it would take forever for him to get back.

“Yeah. Is that a good compromise?”

Vlad nodded, reluctantly. “As good as we’ll get, I think.” He paused, looking around the lab. “Excuse me for asking another thing of you, Danny, but… I’m afraid that I have no explanation for your parents as to why I’m in their lab.”

“Right, yeah.” He shot Vlad a suspicious look. “This isn’t a plot to steal the Thermos from me, is it?”

“I promise to you, it is not.” He placed a hand against his chest and realized, belatedly, that he was wearing a suit. Since when did he wear suits? What was Plasmius thinking? “Bind my hands if you must.”

“Alright, no need to go so far.” Danny rolled his eyes, walking closer to Vlad. “If I get you to the street, will you manage from there?”

Vlad patted his pocket, feeling a hard shape. He took it out to reveal…

“You have a phone, good.” Danny nodded. “You can call for a cab and take your private plane back to Wisconsin, or however you got here. How did you get here?”

“Bold of you to presume I know.” Vlad sighed, placing the phone back into his pocket. “I might just… take a walk, first. It has been a long time since I could.”

Danny threw him a heavy look. “Yeah. Of course. I won’t stop you.”

“And I…” Vlad paused. “I would like to reacquaint myself with your parents. I know that, between my behavior in my youth, and Plasmius’ behavior in more recent times, I don’t deserve that, but… I have learned my lesson a long time ago.”

This, Danny needed time to process. “You’re… not after my mom anymore?”

“I wouldn’t dare,” Vlad assured him. “When Plasmius sent out the invites, I caught wind of their marriage. I was… very glad. It was wrong of me to ever continue to pursue Maddie, when she clearly had no interest in me.”

“Then you’re welcome back, I guess.” Danny reached for him, and Vlad let him. Let the boy wrap his cool hands around Vlad’s arms. “I’ll let Jazz know not to get too harsh on you, but I can’t do anything for my mom.”

“Ah. Yes, a Maddie scorned is a Maddie to fear.” Vlad nodded understandingly. “Jack… Jack, I am sorry to say, I never appreciated as I should’ve. I would be glad to accept his offer of friendship this time around.”

Danny lifted him with ease, like gravity suddenly stopped having an effect on Vlad. “Yes, I… I am sure that Dad would love that. And if you try, Mom will see that, too. It’ll be…”

“I’ll do my best,” Vlad promised, after Danny had remained silent.

The boy nodded, then lifted up further. Phased them straight through the ceiling, which led them into the upstairs living room, and then through the wall. Carried Vlad a little further, until they were out of sight from the house.

“I’ll let you wander around first, then.” Danny put him down, surprisingly gently. “Come by whenever you’re ready, Vladdie.”

Vlad smiled back at Danny, feeling something warm and hopeful bloom in his chest. “I will, my boy. And… thank you. For your help with all this. For allowing me to finally be my own person, away from Plasmius. I didn’t— didn’t think it would ever happen.”

“Glad to be of service, then.” Danny bowed, deep, but rose with a smile on his face. “I’ll get this Thermos hidden away somewhere where no one will find it for the next eternity. Have a nice day, Vlad!”

“Yes, you too, Danny Phantom.” Vlad felt the corner of his mouth twitch up. Danny waved, then promptly disappeared from sight.

Vlad waited for another moment. Felt the mild wind breeze past him, tug on his long hair and his suit jacket.

It was good to be alive.

[lakesandquarries]

After the Storm (Chapter Three)

AO3 Link

In the month (well, half a month, technically) that Sonic has been living about the Wachowski’s, he’s said this much about his past:

- foods he’s eaten

- people he knows

- where his cave is

- how long he's been on earth, vaguely

The list of things he hasn’t mentioned is a lot longer. Sure, Tom and Maddie have asked him about stuff, but he’s good at deflecting, and all the parenting books Tom thinks he’s hiding say things like “don’t push” and “wait until your child is ready”. So, hopefully, he just has to wait a little while longer until they stop asking, and Sonic can just pretend his life actually started about a month ago. Or, half a month, since that’s when he actually moved in with them, and the updated backstory of Sonic Wachowski does not include living in a cave for any amount of time, even if the cave was pretty cool.

The issue is that his brain doesn’t seem to like this new backstory. Or at least, whatever part of his brain controls dream, because they keep getting worse.

(He’d dreamt about Longclaw, the night before, in the last moments he saw her. In his dream he saw her bleeding and fighting and dying and he tried to run to her but every time he got close the portal moved farther away, until suddenly it closed and he woke up about to scream her name.)

Even still, when Tom says it’s time for bed, he got up and made his way to the attic. There’s no reason to say anything about his dreams. He just needs to wait it out, and everything will be fine. Everything’s already fine! A few measly nightmares are nothing to Sonic Wachowski, hero of Green Hills.

Robotnik’s back from the mushroom planet, and he’s shooting at him, at the whole town, and there’s only one thing Sonic can think of to do.

His legs hurt. His chest hurts. He’s never run this fast before, never run trying to actually protect people, and that’s the only thing keeping him moving. He can’t let anyone else get hurt.

Electricity explodes off of him and he grins, the static making his fur stand on end. It’s enough to stop Robotnik, maybe even crash his robot, stop him from hurting anyone.

He tries to aim it, tries to direct all the energy to Robotnik, except it doesn’t want to be aimed. Maybe it can’t be aimed. Robotnik keeps moving, and Sonic keeps sparking, and the electricity keeps building, and he realizes just a moment too late that trying to use it like this was a mistake. He’s caught in the center of an explosion - or  is he the explosion? - and while Robotnik is able to fly away easily, the town is not so lucky.

“No,” he whispers, “no no no, I didn’t -“

“Incredible,” Robotnik says. “You are a remarkable little creature. You keep insisting you want to protect your ‘friends’, but look at this!”Sonic shuts his eyes, trying to erase the reality around him, but Robotnik won’t shut up. “I could barely dream of causing this much carnage. The things we could achieve together…”

“I won’t work with you!” Sonic yells. “I’ll - I’ll -“

He opens his eyes, sees the destruction around him, and he runs.

He’s running when he wakes up, legs kicking against the blanket, and for a second he doesn’t remember how to stop.

He can’t breathe. He’s trying, inhaling frantically, but it’s not helping. All he can see is broken bodies and burned buildings, and he can feel the electricity building up again.

He needs to go. Now. He stumbles out of bed, tangling himself in his blankets and accidentally knocking half his books off his nightstand. Standing back up is a struggle, made worse by the electricity sparking off him, but he’s just managed to stagger to his feet and climb down the ladder when he almost crashes into Tom.

He dodges at the last second, hitting the wall instead and tripping yet again into a heap on the floor.

“Hey.” Tom’s leaning down so they’re eye level. “I thought I heard a crash, are you okay?”

He reaches out, gently touching Sonic’s shoulder - and then there’s a pop and he recoils, hand smoking.

“ Ow, ” Tom says, shaking his hand. Tom glances at his hand - his fingers are singed - and then holds it up, placating. The way Sonic has seen him do with some of the bigger wildlife, the scarier ones. The ones that might hurt him. “Sonic, buddy, you alright there?”

A million thoughts run through his head, half of which end up tumbling out of his mouth as he climbs to his feet. “I had a dream,” he says, “and people got hurt and I don’t think I’m safe to be around anymore and I don’t wanna hurt you or anyone else so I’m just gonna go, okay? Thanks for everything, I’ll see you around, I’m just -”

“Hang on, slow down,” Tom says. “I can’t understand what you’re saying. You had a nightmare?”

“I have to leave,” Sonic blurts out.

“No one’s going anywhere. It’s like 3 am. C’mere, let's go find Ozzie, and -“

“I hurt you,” Sonic says, pointing at Tom’s hand.

Tom holds up his hand, wiggling his fingers. “A little banged up, but nothing that won’t heal. It’s okay,” he says, but he’s lying , Sonic can see him wincing, can see the nervous look in his eyes, the sweat dripping down his forehead - Tom is scared of him.

“I have to leave,” he says again, and then he does.

He doesn’t go to the cave this time.

“Never stop running,” Longclaw had told him. He’d thought she was trying to protect him. But - what if - what if she meant it to protect other people?

He’s dangerous. It seems like his powers just keep growing, and he doesn’t know how to make them stop, and at some point he’s gonna do something worse than accidentally shock Tom.

Maybe the dreams were trying to send him a message. He can’t just erase his whole life, because that’s what his life is supposed to be. Settling down, being part of a family, that’s not what he’s meant for. It’s not safe, for him or for anyone else.

He’d forgotten how cold it got at night.

It’s fine. He survived before, he can do it again! Just. Forget what being in a nice warm house felt like, forget about soft sheets and cozy blankets, forget about fresh food and early morning dog cuddles and late night movie marathons and hugs and being tucked into bed and Maddie’s laughter and Tom’s bad puns and - and -

He only realizes he’s crying when he sees the tears drip down into the dirt.

“I don’t wanna be alone,” he mumbles to himself, wiping at his eyes frantically. But he has to be, is the thing. He doesn’t even know where he is anymore, so going home isn’t really an option.

He ends up curling up under a tree, wishing he’d taken a blanket with him. When he falls asleep, he doesn’t dream.

[buckinviteseddie]

911 Week 2020, Day 6: “"I'm not going" + angst

Read it on AO3

Buck was tired of it all. He couldn't stand seeing people leave his life anymore, he couldn't stand being left behind anymore, that hurt him in a surreal way. Abby had left him without even having the decency to say she would never come back to him, Ally simply left because she couldn't deal with the life he had at work and finally had Maddie who abandoned him when he needed it most. Even though he currently knew why she had left, it still hurt to remember all the sleepless nights of anxiety and all the humiliating moments he had to spend with his parents. And in the end he had no one to count on, the only person he could really count on, who was his older sister, had abandoned him. Everyone around him abandoned him at one time or another and Buck was really tired of it, the mental exhaustion was huge and he couldn't understand why he was always left behind. And finally there was the fact that he was in love with his best friend and he knew Eddie didn't feel the same way, and it killed him. Buck had a very strong friendship with Eddie and he couldn't complain about what he had. They shared great times together when it was just the two of them or when Christopher was also in the middle and anyone who saw them from outside could swear they were family and Buck couldn’t complain about what he had, but he wanted more, he really wanted to be able to build a family with Eddie, but he also knew it was impossible and so he was giving up on flirting, giving up trying to miserably show Eddie how much he was in love with him.

It had been almost an hour since Buck sat there on the bar stool swirling his glass of beer on the table and staring at nothing as he thought about all the bad things that happened and continued to happen in his life. Some people passed by randomly trying to flirt with him, but to no avail. If it was a couple of years ago in his phase that he called Buck 1.0, he would be there having fun and being with all the women and men he wanted, but he was now a more mature person and it made no sense to stay with any of these people just to drown their hurt, because whoever he really wanted wasn’t there and even if Eddie wanted nothing with him, Buck didn’t feel good about being with other people. He just wanted to drink a little and try to forget about all these problems, which in fact was not happening.

After a while Buck realized it was time to stop, as he was more than drunk and needed to go home and get some sleep, as he would have a 12-hour shift in a few hours. He called an uber and on the way he fought not to sleep in the car and ended up stopping somewhere unknown, as he was feeling exhausted and his body just wanted a soft place to relax. Buck doesn't know how he got to his apartment. He struggled a little up the stairs while his mind spun with the effect of the amount of alcohol he drank. He staggered a few times as he climbed step by step and when he finally went up to the second floor, he threw his whole body on the bed, not even bothering to change clothes, take a shower or at least take off his shoes.

***

The next day, Buck woke up with his head still spinning a little. He looked at his watch with some difficulty and realized that it was only an hour and a half before his shift started "shit", he thought before running to the bathroom and throwing up the rest of the alcohol in his stomach. He was filthy, not only from the smell of sweat mixed with alcohol on his clothes, but inside he felt rotten, that was not the life Buck wanted for him, at least not anymore. Until when it would be like this and whenever he felt depressed he would run to the first bar he could find and drink until he couldn't take it anymore.

Buck was quick to get undressed and throw in the laundry basket and throw himself in the shower while he turned on the shower and let the cold water run through his body as electricity in the form of punishment. As soon as he left the bathroom, he hurried to put on his uniform and get ready, damn he was a wreck. When he came down the stairs, he went looking for some aspirin and then took a few sips of coffee. When he was finished he took his bag and car keys and slammed the apartment door behind him.

It didn't take long to get to the station, luckily the traffic that morning was peaceful. Buck then put his bag in the closet and went to join the other teammates who were already sitting at the table having their respective breakfast.

"Wow Buckaroo, you look terrible."    Hen waved as he approached.

Buck forced an ironic smile as he approached. "Thank you".

"Good Morning".     Eddie greeted him as he took his cup and sipped his coffee.

Buck sat next to him as usual, but didn't look at him as he said, "Good morning."

You could feel the tension in the air. Everyone was silent and with each passing second the tension worsened.    "Well, I think today will be quite a day."     Chimney forced more than necessary animation.

Buck shrugged while picking up some fruit and forcing himself to eat, he was on an empty stomach so he needed to eat in order to get through the next twelve hours of work.

At a glance he could see Eddie staring at him a few times. Maybe was worried that he was physically awful, but Buck wasn't in the mood for conversation and his head was still pounding from the hangover.

"I hope the fact that you have a hangover is not a problem, Buck."     Bobby said as he joined them and handed him a full cup of coffee.     “Here, it's out of sugar. It helps to reduce the swelling of the blood vessels that cause the headache ”.

“I'm fine, cap. but thank you".     Buck took the cup of coffee and took a sip, wow it was pretty strong.    "By the way, how do you know about these things?"    He gave him a questioning look.

"Well, I was young like you and I loved going out at night to drink with friends ...".     Bobby forced a smile and turned his attention to his own plate while eating some goodies that he had prepared that morning.

Buck just shrugged, not trying to bring it up, he knew Bobby didn't like to talk about it much.

"Young people today just want to get drunk and go out and kiss everyone around."    Eddie had a certain harshness in his voice, but he gave a wry smile in Buck's direction, who flinched in defense.

Buck opened his mouth to try to defend himself from his friend's accusatory tone, but closed it in the same second. He was in such a bad mood that he didn't trust what could come out of his mouth and he didn't want to get into an unnecessary argument. He couldn't understand why Eddie was treating him like this, that he knows the only mistake he was making was being in love with his best friend.

Luckily for Buck, the rest of the day went pretty smoothly. No big calls, just simple things that didn't require much effort. His headache was gone and he was already feeling a little better. His interaction with Eddie was very little, just what they needed while on a call. Eddie seemed to notice that he was not okay, because from time to time he would cast looks that indicated he wanted to talk and know what was happening to Buck, but he was not feeling good, much less in the mood for it, even more after Eddie's comment earlier.

Buck thanked all the gods when his office hours were finally over and he could finally go home and rest and not think about anything else. As he sat on the locker room bench tying his shoelaces, he heard footsteps approaching.

"What's going on with you, Evan?"    Eddie leaned against the cupboards and stared at him with those brown eyes that made Buck melt all over just by looking.

"Nothing, dude, I just really need my bed".      Buck replied while finishing his work with the sneakers and trying not to stare at his friend and end up getting caught up in the tattered lie he had just played.     "By the way, what did you mean with that comment you made earlier?"

"Nothing. Have a good night, Buckley".     Without even waiting for an answer, he left the locker room and left.

Buck sighed deeply at the boy's reaction, he didn't know why Eddie seemed to be upset with him, but at the moment he just wanted to get to his car and go home.

When he got home, he did the entire night route he did every day. He took a shower, this time hot so he could relax his body. He ate some leftovers he found in the fridge and when he finished eating, he brushed his teeth before throwing himself on the bed and letting the tiredness and sadness go out.

***

It was dark when he woke up in alarm with the sound of his own scream. His shirt was damp with sweat as was his forehead. His breathing was labored and his chest rose and fell at a rapid speed. Buck was filling up to get as much air as possible, he was having a panic attack. He didn't know what to do, his heart pounding in his chest as he struggled desperately to find his cell phone. All the nerves in his body were shaking and the sensation was horrible, he just wanted it to stop and when he finally found it, he didn't even realize when he already had his cell phone in hand, dialing the number so familiar that he knew in his head.

He thought about hanging up the call when on the third ring when the call was answered.    "Buck?"    Eddie's voice was hoarse on the other end of the line, indicating that he was sleeping when the phone rang.

"Buck ... are you there?"    Eddie spoke as he took a deep breath with the phone to his ear.

He thought about hanging up and just dealing with the situation his own, it wasn't right for him to disturb Eddie in the middle of the night because he was having a panic attack, but at the same time he didn't know what to do.    "I need you...".     Buck replied before he even thought, his voice coming out shaky and breathless.

"Where are you?"    Eddie seemed to be getting ready, as Buck could hear what sounded like the belt buckled in his pants.

"Home...".     It was all he could to say while his whole body was shaking.

"I am on my way".     There was a sound of keys and then Eddie hung up.

Buck stayed with the phone for some time before realizing that the call was over and then tossing it on the bed. He was still struggling to breathe. His face was drenched with tears and his eyes were swollen. He then sat down and bent his legs close to his chest, wrapping both arms around them and burying his head.

What seemed like fifteen minutes passed, then Buck heard the door open and close, and after a few seconds, treaded steps up the stairs. He then raised his head and saw even with some difficulty because of the poor lighting, Eddie standing at the entrance to his room with a concerned look.

"Eds ...".    He called out with a sob.

Eddie went towards him and sit next to Buck.    "I am here".    He didn't think twice before pulling Buck close to him and wrapping his arms around him.

Buck grabbed Eddie's shirt with shaking hands as he sobbed and cried softly. He stayed that way for a few secunds, while Eddie tightened his embrace around him a little and rocked him back and forth as if he were holding a baby.

"I'm scared Eddie ..."    Buck admitted.    "I'm too scared."

“It's okay, it's okay. I am here. It was just a nightmare, I got you ”. Eddie kissed Buck on the head and then touched his cheek there.

"Please don't leave me...".     Buck's voice was almost a whisper within Eddie's embrace.

Gradually he recovered. Being in Eddie's arms gave him a feeling of protection and relief and as much as Buck was much taller than the other, at the moment he was feeling as if he were the size of a baby. What comforted him was hearing Eddie's heart in his ears and gradually his own heart was accompanying the beats and his breathing softening.

“I'm not going ... I'm not going anywhere. I'm here with you".   Eddie still shakes him in a way to comfort him.

They remained silent for some time. Just sharing each other's warmth while Eddie comforted his best friend. And that was all Buck needed right now, he needed Eddie and he went there to console him and the blond couldn't be more grateful for that.

"I'm sorry for making you come here in the middle of the night." Buck spoke as he stepped away from the embrace and composed himself.    "By the way, where's Chris?"

“You have nothing to apologize for, and don't worry about Chris. I brought him with me and put him on the couch. He's sleeping there like an angel ”.     Even in the dark Buck could see the faint smile on Eddie's face.

Buck lifted his mouth a little, struggling to return the smile, even though he didn't know if Eddie could see him.

"What's going on, Buck?"    Eddie asked cautiously, not wanting to upset Buck more than he already was.

"I'm broken Eddie."    Buck admitted.    "My head is in turmoil and I don't know how to deal with it all".

He felt his whole body shiver a little when Eddie took his hand and squeezed it gently. “Evan, be honest with me. Tell me what bothers you ”.

Buck felt his heart skip a few beats. If he hadn't had a panic attack a few minutes ago, he would be having it now. He struggled a little before throwing out what he was feeling.   "I've been thinking a lot about my life, how everyone leaves me, how I'm always left behind ...".    Buck sniffed a little as he straightened.    "And....".

"And?" Eddie asked.

Shit, that was hard.

"And ... I ... I can't handle withe the fact that in love with you."   Buck took a deep breath and continued.     “And knowing that the feeling is not mutual, it destroys me every day. It kills me to have to look at you every day and not be able to have you ”.

Buck tried to pull his hand out of Eddie's grip, but his best friend took it back.    "And who said that the feeling is not mutual?"

"What?"    Buck was confused by the turnaround.

"What I mean is that I...I'm in love with you too, Buck."    Eddie seemed to be a little embarrassed about having to expose his feelings, but he kept his hands around the boy's.    "Right after the process, I was able to understand this feeling and how much I am in love with you, I just didn't have any sign coming from you so I didn't say anything".

"I flirt with you brazenly, Eddie."    Buck snorted.

"I'm sorry, I'm not too good at these things."

"By the way, what was the reason for that earlier comment?"   A questioning look settled on Buck's forehead as he faced his friend.

"I...I was a little jealous that you went to spend the night in a bar and flirting with other people."    Eddie stuttered a little as he scratched the back of his neck and his cheeks burned with the revelation.

Buck reached with his free hand to his mouth trying to stop a laugh and not wake up Christopher who was sleeping downstairs.    “Eddie, I didn't stay with anyone, I went there to cry some sorrows and to try to forget a little about the fact that I'm in love with you. I haven't kissed someone else in a while, I just think about you. It's always you ”.

Eddie wasted no time in giving an answer, he grabbed Buck's neck and pulled him close, kissing his lips with the greatest conviction possible. At first it was an awkward kiss, his lips roaming an unknown place, but soon Buck opened his mouth and allowed Eddie's warm, soft tongue to penetrate the inside and play with his. It was a hot, ravenous kiss. As if they have been waiting for this moment for a long time. Desire and will was all that hung over them. Gradually the kiss softened and became more intense, with Buck biting Eddie's lower lip and making him moan softly. They kissed for a while, experiencing this new experience so that they were both feeling good and comfortable.

A few minutes ago Buck was feeling like he had nothing and no one, like he was trapped in an endless void, and now there he was in the arms of the person he loved and that he was hopelessly in love with and that feeling it was mutual. Buck thanked all possible superior deities as he stepped away and buried his head in Eddie's shoulder, smelling that familiar smell that made him feel at home.

"I love you, Eds."

Eddie held Buck's head in both hands while pulling him in for a light kiss on the lips, then he looked at the boy and flashed a huge smile that made Buck melt all over. "I love you, Buck."

[phantomphangphucker]

Ectober Day 10: Exorcism - Mimicry

Ghosts aren’t that different from demons. And Danny’s got no problem fucking with a priest.

Danny’s sitting, curling his ghostly tail around, on a rooftop building when he spots him. He shows up in an arguably insanely pompous Mustang, the kind with wood side panelling. Danny tilts his head as he watches the car park, at least whoever wasn’t enough of a stick-up-the-ass to double park. The guy stepping out in head to toe black, nearly looking like he’s wearing a dress. At first, Danny figured it was some goth, but sticking his head invisibly through the hotel lobby ceiling -curious about this stranger in his town, his lair- the guy spoke like his car looked; professional but egotistical. Spotting the little white on the guys neck only makes Danny internally groan. Priests. Well, technically only one but still. Though he is a little curious, there had never been one of their types here before. Probably thought ghosts were demons or something.

For whatever reason the guy seems to intimidate Jamey the receptionist, watching as she’s clearly trying to get the guy away from her and is trying not to touch the guy. Which only seems to make priest dude suspicious, intentionally grabbing and holding onto her hand and looking like he’s searching her eyes. Danny floats down closer, invisible of course, at this, in case this guy is legit dangerous and tries to attack her or something.

Thankfully, he lets go and heads to his room with a smile. Jamey shaking herself off after a bit. Danny hangs around the lobby for a bit to make sure she’s fine and priest guy doesn’t come back.

Danny sniffs out the guys' room and promptly puts a SpookSpot, a camera that looks like a little black ghost sticker, to watch priest guys door. And heads back to proper patrolling and enjoying the late afternoon sky.

Two day’s later Danny’s pretty well forgotten about the guy. He just seems to be wandering the town, muttering to himself, and nodding at things. The only real beef Danny had with the guy was that he was creeping people out.

But apparently, the guy was just patient, or spent a lot of time plotting. As Danny comes upon him doing...something? to the Box Ghost of all ghosts. He was seemingly chanting and making erratic hand motions. While the Box Ghost just looks really confused. Eventually, the Box Ghost, seeing a lost cause, shouts, “BEWARE!!!”, and promptly flies off.

The priest looks pleased with himself for whatever reason.

The next day Danny groans at spotting the priest, with a visitors badge, wandering the halls of Casper high, hands clasped behind his back and occasionally nodding at things.

Tucker pokes Danny, “you know, your folks aren’t the weirdest people here anymore”.

Danny sighs, “yeah, guy’s super weird. I think he tried to exorcise Boxy. It was...really sad. Boxy took pity on him”.

Tucker snorts, “that is pretty sad”.

Danny’s ghost sense goes off just as they start heading to class. Danny sighs dramatically, “so much for first period”, Tucker pats him on the back as well slinks off. Never noticing the ever so slightly wide-eyed priest watching.

Danny gets up with a yawn in the morning, struggling into a sweater and ruffling up his hair before heading down for breakfast.

Danny looks around the table, slightly caught off guard. The priest guy, who Danny has figured out was named Jospeh which honestly was a stereotypical as Hell name, is just sitting at the table; letting Jack and Maddie talk ghost at him with a pleasant smile, though it felt rather fake.

Danny shrugs loosely, and goes to make his cereal, “mornin’”.

Maddie smiles, “morning sweetie. This fine man was curious about the ghosts in town, so Jack decided he could stay for tea”, looking to Jospeh, “you’re named Jospeh you said right?”.

“It is”.

Danny sits down with his bowl, nodding at the guy, “mine’s Danny. And if you wanna talk ghosts then yeah, this is the house to do it in”, Danny decides to fuck with the guy a little, “who knows, maybe my dad’ll pull out the portal photo album”.

Jack grins wide, “yes! We should!”, springing up and rushing off.

Jospeh squints ever so slightly at Danny and turns to face him more, “portal?”.

Danny leans back and puts his hands behind his head nonchalantly, “yup, ghosties come and go through it sometimes. Dad fishes trough it”, deciding to be the mild to colossal idiot that he is, “I've come and gone through it here and there”.

Maddie shakes her head, “I remember that time you stumbled out with a knife in your leg. Didn’t you trip in that time?”.

Danny chuckles, ignoring the priests staring, “yup. Dad left some stuff on the floor and you know how clumsy I am”. Maddie giggles at that before going back to drinking her coffee.

Jospeh stares at him a bit before Jack returns with the aforementioned photo album and Jospeh changes to staring at that.

Danny chuckles and fills up a large thermos with coffee and promptly leaves. Only walking for a ways before slinking into an alley, turning invisible and intangible, then going back to the house.

Danny tilts his head Jospeh seemingly convincing his parents to go out hunting extra long and letting Jospeh help house sit so that he can ‘get a feel for ghosts’. His folks were way too easy to trick sometimes. If Danny’s stuck with this stuck up religious nut then he’s gonna mess around, moving closer to make creepy breathing sounds and blow air at the guy; who shivers from the cold temperature, before looking around for the source. Danny facepalms as Jospeh subtly throws salt out in one direction, clearly thinking there’s a ‘demon’ there. Danny absolutely was going to torment this poor prick. He was creeping all his humans out, would probably grow bold enough to interrupt fights, and he was a pompous twat. The last was honestly reason enough.

Danny comes home that night and as soon as he closes the door, Jospeh is staring at him. Danny waves at him, “sup priest boy”, pointing at the guy, “you know you’re creeping out pretty well the whole town? What’s your issue?”.

“Am I now”.

“Yup”.

Joshep squints but takes a sip of tea, “good. The Fenton parents seem to be the only not under demonic influence in this infested town”, Jospeh slowly walks closer to Danny, “but of course you already know that, don’t you demon”.

Danny makes a show of looking overly offended, “me? Some powerful being from another dimension? Why I never”.

“Hell is hardly another dimension, beast”.

Danny chuckles, “well look at you, able to come up with not one but two insulting names to spit like venom”.

Joseph walks closer and pushes a large silver cross into Danny’s chest, “that’s enough from you. Give it up and release the boy who’s body you’ve stolen and this town. You should have known your time was numbered as soon as you saw me”.

Danny rolls his eyes, utterly unaffected, “of a pompous twat who’s so greatly out of his depth? Hardly”

Joshep pushes the cross in hard and glares, “you're using protections, Foul thing. No matter, there’s seals everywhere, you’re trapped”.

Danny chuckles and makes it sound a bit threatening, “sure, whatever you say buddy”. Pushing past the guy to fetch himself some coffee. Pouring it but giving Joshep dramatic side-eye as the guy starts chanting at him.

“Princeps gloriosissime caelestis militiae, sancte Michael Archangele, defende nos in proelio et colluctatione, quae nobis adversus principes et potestates, adversus mundi rectores tenebrarum harum, contra spiritualia nequitiae, in caelestibus“. Danny watching as the guy flips a coin with a cross hollowed out of it and clutches at rosary beads. This guy really was going there wasn’t he? Danny chuckles and smirks, fine, Danny will give this weirdo a damn show.

Joseph continues his chant prayer, “Veni in auxilium hominum, quos Deus creavit inexterminabiles, et ad imaginem similitudinis suae fecit, et a tyrannide diaboli emit pretio magno“.

He holds up and waves around the rosary, making sure the light glints off it. While Danny starts pretending to be in agony but like he’s trying not to show it. As Joshep continues, “Proeliare hodie cum beatorum Angelorum exercitu proelia Domini, sicut pugnasti contra ducem superbiae Luciferum, et angelos eius apostaticos: et non valuerunt, neque locus inventus est eorum amplius in coelo. Sed proiectus est draco ille magnus, serpens antiquus, qui vocatur diabolus et satanas, qui seducit universum orbem; et proiectus est in terram, et angeli eius cum illo missi sunt“.

Danny’s just letting out his fangs and ears at this point, curled up on the ground and pretending to be pissed off at the priest. Who only narrows his eyes with resolute determination, “En antiquus inimicus et homicida vehementer erectus est. Transfiguratus in angelum lucis, cum tota malignorum spirituum caterva late circuit et invadit terram, ut in ea deleat nomen Dei et Christi eius, animasque ad aeternae gloriae coronam destinatas furetur, mactet ac perdat in sempiternum interitum“.

Joshep splashes a container of holy water over Danny, who has to try really hard to not laugh and break character, “Virus nequitiae suae, tamquam flumen immundissimum, draco maleficus transfundit in homines depravatos mente et corruptos corde; spiritum mendacii, impietatis et blasphemiae; halitumque mortiferum luxuriae, vitiorum omnium et iniquitatum“.

Joshep starts aggressively pointing the cross at Danny, “Ecclesiam, Agni immaculati sponsam, faverrimi hostes repleverunt amaritudinibus, inebriarunt absinthio; ad omnia desiderabilia eius impias miserunt manus“.

Danny makes a show off grabbing the guys ankle and letting Joshep shake him off. Though taking amusement in the ever so slight startled waver in his voice, “Ubi sedes beatissimi Petri et Cathedra veritatis ad lucem gentium constituta est, ibi thronum posuerunt abominationis et impietatis suae; ut percusso Pastore, et gregem disperdere valeant“.

Danny starts abortedly duplicating, only letting the duplicate start forming or splitting for seconds before snapping them back. Joshep near bellowing now, “Adesto itaque, Dux invictissime, populo Dei contra irrumpentes spirituales nequitias, et fac victoriam“.

Danny once again has to resist laugh as the guy throws salt at him again, “Te custodem et patronum sancta veneratur Ecclesia; te gloriatur defensore adversus terrestrium et infernorum nefarias potestates; tibi tradidit Dominus animas redemptorum in superna felicitate locandas“.

Danny lets a duplicate form halfway but seemingly attempting to snap back ‘into’ Danny. Catching the slight smile on the priests face, “Deprecare Deum pacis, ut conterat satanam sub pedibus nostris, ne ultra valeat captivos tenere homines, et Ecclesiae nocere“.

Danny lets the duplicate fly out of him and slam into the back wall, letting his originally body collapse and pretend to be unconscious. While Joshep stalks after the duplicate, waving the cross and slashing holy water, “Offer nostras preces in conspectu Altissimi, ut cito anticipent nos misericordiae Domini, et apprehendas draconem, serpentem antiquum, qui est diabolus et satanas, ac ligatum mittas in abyssum, ut non seducat amplius gentes“.

Joshep grins wide at the duplicate, pushing the cross into his face, “I cast away any devout dismay, that child in these Christ blessed arms of mine shall never fall at the hands of hellish beasts”.

The duplicate chuckles into the cross, “he’s mine old man”.

Joshep grits his teeth, “you shall evade the one of holy youth, the blessed one of creators uncorrupted, malevolent apparition. Vade retro Satana”.

The duplicate smirks, “ah so foolish, you think you’re some great knowing thing. How much longer till your facade breaks down?”.

“Truth and God shall never waver Beast”.

Original Danny gets up and stretches. Walking over and tapping on Joshep’s shoulder, “if I may turn you away from this rather pathetic display. This child was never one to fall. And I’m only in my own hands”.

The duplicate sits up and pretty well pushes over Joshep. The duplicate roles his eyes, “dude come one. There ain’t no demons here. And do you really think shit like salt and water is going to work on a being bound to eternity?”. The duplicate simply dissipates in the air while Joshep stands up and whirls around to see Danny just standing there and picking at his nails.

Danny pats him on the shoulder, “that was fun, good acting lessons on my part. Anyway, you got that whole need to exorcise out of you system?”.

Joshep sputters, “w-what are you?”.

Danny, deciding to be a dick and really freak this guy out, let’s his transformation ring form around his forehead like a halo for a split second and makes his eyes glow icy blue.

Joshep goes slightly wide-eyed but composes himself quickly. It’s obvious he now thinks Danny’s an angel as he dips his head slightly, “Dânêl. Concede nos famulos tuos, tu pro nobis intercedere dignentur in solio mixtum commiscere divinae miserationis in praesentem necessitatem, quod tu vis quemadmodum nuntiare Mariae in mysterio incarnationis Christi, ut per tua suffragia et patrocinia sentiamus in caelis perpetuae capiamus beneficia eiusdem, et laudem Dei usque in aeternum cantabo in terra viventium“.

Danny holds his hands up and waves the guy off, “you’re freaking my humans out. Stop that. This place is in good hands”, smirking slightly, “as for the shit that just happened. I’m a trickster”.

Danny walks up and pats the guys shoulder with a chuckle, “there are so many things in this world that you’ll never understand. Do not fall to the faults of assuming you know what you do not. Nor that the truths you know are all there is to know. There are no demons here”.

Joshep looks into Danny’s eyes, seeing nothing but fierce protectiveness, twinkling of amusement, and soft kindness. “Then what be they, should you bless me with that knowledge? Could it be that this is why I am here?”.

Danny chuckles and walks to look out the window. Snickering at the seals, “in all the forms of existences there’s bound to be a few you’ve never seen, you could try to achieve it. Become one of the beings of the Infinite Realms. But most of them can never leave or it will be a long time. So I don’t really recommend”, turning to look at Joshep before Danny gestures out the window, “most of them were once living mortals. Some were not. Souls unable to move on granted powering and purpose. Some protect and guide, watching over mortals or time itself. Others try to keep order and punish those who miss-use their power. Others do what you see here in Amity. Scare. Goof around. There are very few who are what you may call evil”.

Joshep walks up next to Danny, and looks out, jerking as all the seals burn away win blue flames. Side-eyeing the chuckling Danny, “you are a well humoured one”.

Danny smirks, “very much so”, nodding his head at the window, “the ones who are dead’s. They all died in brutal fashion. So horrid that existence itself decided they deserved another chance to live free and strong. Make no mistake priest. I protect them as well”. Danny makes his eyes blue and the frost creep across the window to make his point clear.

Joshep nods and dips his head, “but of course. I did not expect my wrongs and I have much to ponder. To none will I bring hassle nor harm”.

Danny chuckles, “good. I will continue keeping an eye on you regardless”.

Joshep blinks but nods with a small smile. And while this was highly enlightening and a blessing, he had zero intentional of imposing on or hanging around an Angel. Angel’s often said ‘be not afraid’ for a reason, they were not truly pleasant creatures and this one had firmly pretended to be a demon and be in agony. So Joshep bows with clasped hands, “blessed you”, before heading out the door.

Danny chuckles, “oh I’m very blessed indeed”.  

End.

[ironwoman359]

Our Own Villain Ch. 6

Prologue, Ch.1, Ch.2, Ch.3, Ch. 4, Ch. 5, Ch. 6, Ch.7, Ch.8

(please look in the notes for a link to read on AO3. Tumblr’s current glitch makes adding external links to a post hide it from the search function)

Full Fic Masterlist 

 Word Count: 2,626

Summary: Maddie must make a choice...and may end up with more trouble than she bargained for. 

Pairings: Logicality, could be read as romantic or platonic.

Warnings: Food mention, please let me know if I need to add anything else!

Massive thank you to @theinvisiblespoon for helping me edit this and @a-valorous-choice for letting me yeet ideas into your dms! Love you both loads! <3

Patton wished, not for the first time that day, that he was dreaming. His mind was racing, and he found it suddenly very difficult to swallow as he stared at the poster in Maddie’s outstretched hand. He supposed most people would be upset to find their own face plastered onto a wanted poster, but oddly enough, that’s not really what bothered him. It was the handwriting, loping and elegant, yet bold and dramatic and so perfectly Roman’s that sent Patton’s heart plummeting into his stomach. He swallowed thickly, making a point to avoid looking at Logan. The last thing he wanted to see right now was the “I told you so” that would likely be flashing in his friend’s eyes.

He couldn’t stare at the poster forever though, so instead he turned his attention back to Maddie, and the expression on her face made his heart ache. Her eyes were narrow as she searched their faces, any semblance of trust they’d built with her gone. She was just a little girl, a child, she shouldn’t have to lurk in the streets just to survive and wonder if an act of random kindness would cost her everything. She wouldn’t even look so scared right now if it weren’t for them, and Patton felt a wave of guilt wash over him. He sighed, and resisted the urge to close his eyes and curl up into a ball. The last thing he needed was for this to start affecting Thomas on top of everything else.

“Enemies of The Crown...” Logan read aloud, his voice cutting through Patton’s thoughts. “So you are saying that both Patton and I are on these posters you’ve been asked to distribute?”

“Yeah, that’s what I’m saying,” Maddie replied, shoving the poster into Logan’s hands and quickly taking a step back.

“Kiddo, wait, just...just hang on for a—” Patton stammered out, but Maddie cut him off.

“The two of you come into town out of nowhere, have no idea about curfew or the guards or the Red Sun or anything, you say the guy I saw get taken to the castle by the soldiers is your friend, and now you’re...you’re Enemies of The Crown, or something?”

“I...no, we…” Patton struggled to speak, to somehow explain what was happening, but how could he, really? He barely understood what was happening in Roman’s realm anymore. He desperately wanted to believe that somehow Roman wasn’t responsible for all of this, but the handwriting on the poster was pretty clear. Roman had made that poster. Roman was offering 1,000 gold for Patton’s capture. Roman had just declared Patton his enemy. The thought made him feel like throwing up.

“Maddie, do you consider the crown to currently be in a good state?” Logan asked suddenly, catching everyone’s attention. The girl shrugged, still eyeing the two suspiciously.

“I dunno.”

“Well, you spoke of how the kingdom worsens whenever this Red Sun rises. Increased monster activity, more oppression from the government, an increase in traveling dangers, etc. So at its current state, would you say that The Crown is, in fact, a good thing?”

“I mean...I guess not, when you put it that way.”

“So we were declared enemies of something that you’d call bad, something that scares you,” Logan said patiently. “Doesn’t it stand to reason, then, that we would be the opposite?”

Patton glanced over at Logan, a small smile twitching at the edge of his lips. No matter what the situation, Logan always managed to impress him with his ability to assess things with a cool and level head. Patton had barely been able to stop thinking about Roman and what could have caused all of this in the first place, but Logan had been able to focus and give an answer that was simple, but still made sense.

“Yeah…” Maddie’s voice was hesitant, but there was less fear in her eyes now, uncertainty taking its place. “But...I don’t understand? You didn’t even know anything about this place. How could you be its enemy?”  

“It...is a long story,” Logan admitted. “But…” he glanced over at Patton, and Patton nodded at him encouragingly. “Suffice to say that we...Patton and I, that is...we know Prince Roman. So does our friend Virgil, the one who the guards took? The four of us...we are…” he paused, as if searching for the right word to use.

“We’re a family, Kiddo,” Patton supplied quietly. Logan nodded, and Patton’s spirits lifted ever so slightly.

“We are not from here,” Logan continued. “In fact, Roman himself...well, he created this place. We visit it sometimes, but not enough to know the intricacies of your politics or customs. Certainly, we have never before witnessed this Red Sun you are currently experiencing. And to my knowledge, Roman has never mentioned it, either.”

Logan looked to Patton, as if for confirmation, and Patton nodded. Out of the three of them, he visited Roman’s realm the most often by far, and he’d never once seen it as anything other than a cheerful, sunny paradise. Then again, Roman had never seen Patton’s room as anything other than the Nostalgia Nirvana that Patton was so careful to present whenever he invited the creative side over...was it that far of a stretch to say that Roman perhaps did the same?

“So...the prince created the whole kingdom? How, with magic?” Maddie asked, tilting her head to the side.

Logan opened his mouth, but Patton answered before he could get too in-depth about the inner workings of Thomas’s mind and Roman’s control over the imagination.

“Something like that, yeah, Kiddo.”

Maddie regarded them for a moment longer, then seemed to come to a decision.

“Well, if you’re not from here...maybe you should go. It doesn’t seem like he wants you guys around right now.”

“No,” Patton and Logan said in unison.

“We will not leave this place until we retrieve our friend,” Logan added.

“We can’t just leave him behind,” Patton said, glancing over at Logan. There was understanding in his eyes, and Patton felt some of the tension from earlier melt away.

“Get your friend…” Maddie repeated slowly. “From the castle dungeons. The most heavily guarded place in the kingdom, during the Red Sun, when everything is guarded way more than normal.”

Patton grimaced. When she put it that way, their chances of rescuing Virgil didn’t sound very good.

“We have no other choice,” Logan insisted. “Surely there must be some strategy that will grant us the upper hand.”

“Two of you against the entire royal guard during the Red Sun?” Maddie laughed. “There is no strategy where you would get the upper hand.”

“Falsehood. We just witnessed you face on an entire street gang single-handedly,” Logan pointed out. “Clearly it is not numbers that matter, it is technique.”

“I...all I did was throw a few rocks and run away.” Maddie fiddled with the pouch on her dress, running her fingers over the smooth pebbles she kept inside. “I’m honestly lucky they haven’t caught me yet.”

“Perhaps, though I would attribute it to a high level of experience and skill,”  Logan said matter-of-factly.

Maddie looked down at her feet, a shy but satisfied smile spreading across her face.

“I am serious,” Logan continued. “You were quite impressive in your methods. And between the three of us, I’m sure we can figure out a way. That is…” he hesitated, and looked over at Patton. After a moment, Patton nodded to him, and Logan turned back to Maddie. “That is, if you’re willing to assist us.”

“It’s your choice, Kiddo,” Patton added quickly. “It’s okay if you say no. But...well, like we said, Lo and I don’t really know a whole lot about this place.”

Maddie was silent for what seemed like forever, seconds stretching out as Patton waited with bated breath for her to answer. He glanced over at Logan, who was fiddling with his glasses. To an outsider, it was a seemingly innocent gesture, but Patton knew it meant Logan was also unsure. What would they do if Maddie said no? What if she decided to turn them in instead? What if–

“All…alright.”

Patton blinked. Had he heard her right?

“I’ll help you,” she added, and Patton released a breath. He looked over at Logan, who was clearly very pleased by her answer.

“Let’s do this, then,” Logan said, and Maddie gave a small nod.

Then, the three of them sat down in a circle and began to plan.

Maddie skirted the edge of the market square, nibbling on a warm roll she’d purchased with the few coins the castle steward’s errand boy had thrown her way. It hadn’t been much, certainly not a fair amount for an entire night’s work, but it was still the first time she’d had fresh food in days.

“Outta the way, you damned urchin!”

Maddie ducked away to one side, narrowly avoiding a collision with the large, gruff man shoving his way through the crowd. It was early in the morning, and people were packed into the main market square, buying their breakfast and beginning their work for the day. Maddie was no stranger to the crowds; she was fairly used to being in the square when it was this busy. In fact, it was usually the best time to find dropped coins, scraps of food, or if she was lucky, a kind matronly woman who would offer to buy her a biscuit, or an overworked apprentice who would happily shell out a few copper coins in order to have someone else run their errand while they caught a few more minutes of sleep.

But this was no ordinary morning in the square; this was a morning during the Red Sun. People all over the kingdom had opened their eyes at dawn, hoping to see a hint of golden light peeking through the clouds, only to be greeted by another day bathed in crimson and shadow. Shoulders were hunched, conversations were deprived of their usual cheerful small talk, and eyes were focused on the ground as people hurried about their day, doing their best to avoid looking up.

Maddie worked her way through the crowd, slipping past vendors and shoppers alike, keeping her eyes peeled. Usually, she would be scanning the ground, looking for anything worth scavenging, but today, her head was up, looking through the sea of legs for the flash of a familiar face in the crowd. Seth would be here soon for the morning rush. He was always one of the first to arrive, but Maddie beat him nearly every morning. It was the advantage of having a spot so close to the market, something she’d fought tooth and nail to keep. Something that, apparently, she was now willing to give up.

Just as the thought crossed her mind, she spotted him as he flashed through the crowd, his dirty face and unkempt mop of blond hair catching her eye. She wove her way towards him, ducking between legs and around stalls, reaching for a pebble from her pouch as she did so. Pressing her back up against a fruit stand, she waited until he paused to check for something on the ground before flicking the stone in his direction. It rolled to a stop in front of his feet, and his eyes snapped up, scanning his surroundings. His gaze fell on Maddie, and she tilted her head towards an alleyway before sliding into its shadows herself.

“Maddie?” he hissed as he edged in, looking around carefully. “What do you want?”

“Your pet castle servant. Where does he meet you?”

“I...what?”

“Where does he meet you?” Maddie repeated urgently. “Is it in town, or one of the servants’ entrances?”

Seth narrowed his eyes.

“What’s it to you?” he asked, and Maddie sighed, running a hand over her face.

“Seth, just listen, I don’t have time for this. Do you or do you not know where the servants’ entrance to the castle is?”

“I- yes I know where it is, Maddie, why the hell are you asking?” “I need to know where it is. Can you show me?” Maddie pressed.

“Wait…” Seth leaned back and folded his arms, a knowing look on his face. “I know what this is about.”

“You...you do?”

“Yeah. You’re trying to make a cut into my errand earnings, aren’t you?”

Maddie groaned.

“No, Seth, I-”

“It’s not enough that you have the best spot next to the market, you want to try and sneak one of the more reliable jobs right from under my-”

“Seth, if you show me where the servants’ entrance is I will GIVE you my spot by the market, okay?”

Silence hung in the air between them, Seth staring open-mouthed at Maddie as he processed what she had just said.

“You...you’ll give me the spot?”

“Yes. All you have to do is show me where the servants’ entrance is.”

Seth thought about it. The work from the castle servant already provided him with more money than most, that combined with Maddie’s spot in the alleyway, close to the market and hidden from the gangs...it’d be the closest thing to security he’d get while living on the streets. Hell, if he played his cards right, he might be able to eventually get off the streets.  It was a good deal.

Seth frowned, eyeing Maddie with a renewed suspicion. It was almost too good a deal.

“What’s the catch? And don’t you dare say there isn’t one, there’s no way you’d offer a deal like this if there wasn’t a damn good reason.”

Maddie rolled her eyes.

“The only catch is on my end. If what I have planned works, it will have been worth it for me to give it to you. If it doesn’t, that’s my problem, not yours. You have nothing to lose here”

Seth mulled it over for a moment longer, then nodded.

“Okay then, you have yourself...a…” His sentence stuttered to a stop and his eyes went wide as he stared at something over Maddie’s shoulder.

“Wha-” Maddie started to speak, but was cut off as a huge pair of arms wrapped around her from behind, pinning her arms to her sides and lifting her off her feet. “What the- hey! Put me down, you big- mmph!”

The arms shifted and a large, sweaty hand clamped over her mouth, effectively silencing her.

“Run along now, if you know what’s good for you,” a familiar voice purred behind her. Maddie saw Seth bolt for the market square as her assailant carried her deeper into the alley, away from the prying eyes of the early morning shoppers “Now then…”

The leader of the Arachnids came around to face her with a grin, absently twirling his knife between his fingers. Maddie squirmed, but the grip of the thug holding her only tightened, constricting her breathing as he kept his hand pressed firmly against her mouth.

“You owe us, little fly, and it’s time to pay up.”

Maddie silently cursed herself for not thinking of saving some coins to pay the Arachnids with. A foolish mistake, which didn’t happen often to her, but then again, it only needed to happen once, right?

The hand over her mouth moved until it wrapped around her neck, the thumb and forefinger pressing just a bit too tightly her windpipe. Maddie’s heart pounded against her ribcage, and she fought the sudden impulse to swallow. The message was clear: You can talk, but scream or call for help and you’ll regret it.

“I don’t have money,” she said as clearly as she could manage.

“Oh, that’s alright.” A grin spread across the bandit leader’s face, and he held up one of the wanted posters with Logan’s face on it. “You have something better, don’t you?”

A/N: Hoo boy, what a wild ride that chapter was to write! I’ve been insanely busy in my personal life, and have had major writers block on this story, so I’m so happy to finally have the next installment out .Thank you all so much for your patience on this fic, I hope you enjoyed the other fics I posted in the meantime between updates! Hopefully next time it won’t be 5 months between updates, haha. 

Because of Tumblr’s current glitch where adding external links to a post hides it from the search function, I will be posting the link to my AO3 and ko-fi page in a reblog of this, along with my taglists (so y’all who are tagged will see the links and jazz right away). Thank you all so much for your likes, reblogs, comments and kudos, they really mean the world to me!  -Taylor <3 

Full Masterlist

[grouptalekindnesssoulstories]

Of Scales and Teeth

Warnings: Descriptions of pain, human experiments, interesting features

Blurb: What makes a family? Kara is about to find out just how far people are willing to go for their family. 

Word Count:1,296

I screamed in pain as more chemicals raced through my body, changing my very structure. I writhed as I tried to get free, my body halfway between human and some sort of other animal. My bones felt like putty and I felt like my very blood was boiling.

“She’s still alive. Which did we inject this one with?” 

“Uh, let me see. She’s the one with hyena. Must be why she’s still alive” The scientists chatted over my body, their words reaching my ears like a clash of thunder. I gasped as an even louder sound echoed over me. There were screams and the table i was strapped to started to move as the pain dulled at last. I shivered as my body collapsed to fully human, automatically trying to curl up.

“She’s alive. Quick, find her name,” A squawk answered an urgent whisper. “I know, I know! But it may make it go faster. Besides, this is the last place. We have no one else to get out of here. Don’t give me that look! You can look after giving me the name!” The voice argued with someone I couldn’t hear.

“K... Kara” I struggled to get around my raw throat. 

“Well then, Kara, we’re getting you out of here” The ties around me started to loosen, and finally I was able to get up. I jumped into a crouch, eyes flying open to assess the room for danger. A tall figure dressed in brown stood their, the only feature I could clearly make out a set of grey eyes. A large bird shot into the room, chattering angrily. 

“Who are you. Why should I trust you” I fired off. The golden-red bird turned towards me, bright silver eyes scanning me. I felt fur bristle along my spine. 

“We have no time. This is Hester, I’m Jean. We need to move, or else we won’t be leaving” The figure fired off just as rapidly, grabbing my shirt and dragging me towards an exit. Or what had been my shirt. I shook off the grip and landed on four paws, running after the bird. I trusted her more than Jean. 

“There they are! Catch the bird alive! We need it for further testing!” Guards rounded the corner, speeding up to intercept us. I grabbed Hester gently and sprinted away, Jean fighting them off with knives they had pulled from somewhere. 

“Idiot! We can’t leave my twin behind!” The bird yelled, eyes following their friend’s movements.

“Well, then tell them to follow!” I growled around her. She hit me with one wing but followed my advice. Jean, on the other hand, didn’t. Hester twisted out of my grip and began dive bombing the men. I groaned curses under my breath but raced after her, tearing at the men’s legs. The twins ran when they had all been dispatched, with me loping after them. 

----

We managed to make it out, and Jean opened a car door for me. I jumped in, landing as human as I had been before, with a grunt of pain. I began licking the cuts on my arms while Jean drove silently. 

“Kara, right?” They finally asked. I looked up and nodded.

“That’s me. Now who the hell are you?” 

“Like I said, I’m Jean and that’s my idiot twin Hester. She...was what inspired all these experiments. You’re the first to be able to switch forms. Or...the first to survive long enough to demonstrate the ability” 

“Uh-huh. So, you rescue people like me and Hester? Why doesn’t she turn human?” I leaned back, tossing my mop of hair out of my eyes. 

“She can’t. The genes were split between us. I got the human form, she got the bird form. It’s...our family is like you, except naturally born able to be birds” Jean turned down a quiet road, before stopping the car and getting out. I followed carefully, Hester diving out and landing on her sibling’s shoulder. 

“So...I’m stuck like this? And I’m the furthest along that you’ve found?” I asked.

“Yes. We have a few stuck with unusual features, since their bodies house both DNA sets, but none with the complete animal one. Good thing we came when we did. You might have been the first to be completely successful and that...would not have ended well for anybody except those scientists. C’mon. The others will be glad to meet you” We walked deeper into the woods as they explained, entering a small cave. Hester tapped a spot with her beak a few times, and a rock shifted.

“Jean? Hester? That you?” A boy’s face poked out.

“Yes, Tony. Is Fain with you?”

“No, they had to go to the bathroom”

“Of course. Lucky for you, we weren’t being used as bait. Now let us in, goofball” The rock slid back further, revealing an entrance behind the small boy. Hester nuzzled him before leading our little trio past. He pulled the rock back into place, glancing at me as I passed. I flashed my teeth at him, making his mouse tail shoot up. I twisted my expression into an apologetic grin, and he laughed. 

“Meeting! That includes you Tony!” Jean called, and a ragtag group cheered and gathered around, an assortment of animal features present across them all. One boy had scales all across half his body, another had multiple spider legs and a third had the mouth of a crocodile. 

“Alright you guys, we rescued someone. This is Kara, she has hyena DNA” Jean introduced me, and I waved hesitantly. 

“Don’t look like it” One of the older girls said, her arms crossed despite the wings connected to them. I bared my teeth again, this time with even more malice. 

“She’s...She was farther along then anyone else. She’s nearly the level our biological family would be at. Somehow she’s survived, in much better condition than others” At a look from Hester, I obediently shifted. There were gasps and all the children gathered around me. I realized they were all like me. They all seemed to be from rough backgrounds, the guy with the croc mouth had some scars on his shoulders, and most were younger than me.

“Well, Kara, it’s nice to meet you” The girl from earlier piped up, reaching a hand out peacefully. I gently took it and shook.

“She tried to save me, and then Jean when she realized I wouldn’t leave with them” Hester chirped, all of the kids looking to me in wonder afterwards. 

“I wasn’t imagining it, you can speak!” I panted.

“Of course. It’s only human ears that can’t hear me. None of us here are fully human anymore, excluding you in your human form” I screwed up my face, my body rearranging itself to mostly humanoid, with fuzzy ears poking out of my messy hair, a flat hyena face and claws. 

“Well, I may as well fit in. It’s weird being the only one not to understand you or look human. Jean’s eyes are far too sharp to be human” I smiled, tongue rolling out in a hyena’s grin as well.

“Welcome to the family Kara. We could use you to help the others” Jean smiled. “You can call me Jea, you know Tony, the scaly one is Diego, Croc man is Nate, guy with the spider legs is Vulcan, bat girl is Rachel, Fain is the one with the owl ears and eyes, Matt is the one with the antlers and narrow face, Serena is the small one with the squirrel tail, Sasha has the lower half of a bear, Maddie is the one with the toucan’s beak, and Nancie is the one with the gills and flexibility of a frog, also the tongue. Don’t ask” 

“Well, I’m glad to meet you all”