#marc spector & steven grant

[romanarose]

Sunshine, Starlight, Sweetheart, Brightside: Chapter 30

Steven Grant x OC X Marc Spector

Story Masterlist

Pervious part : Next part

Fic Summary: Steven meets Sam and they strike up a quick relationship, both kindhearted and loving, they fall fast. But both have a lot going on. Steven had Marc and Moon Knight, and Sam has mental health problems of her own. Slowly, Steven starts to put together pieces of her story as Sam starts to get to know Marc and Jake.

Chapter summer: Sam goes missing, the boys find her in a position they had been worried about for a long time.

WARNINGS!!!!! Warnings are gonna have a lot of spoilers so skipa head if you dont want spoilers!!! Drinking, smoking, refernces to sex, but most importantly, hhuuuuuugggeeeee warning for suicidal ideation and a suicide attempt. It like..... it's really rough, y'all. But ngl i think I kinda popped off on it this. Like. I went hard. Might be some of my best work. Anyway, mind the warnings.

How many song references can you catch? Idk why I put so many in this one.

************

"Well, I woke up to the sound of silence and cries were cutting like knives in a fist fight

And I found you with a bottle of wine, your head in the curtains and heart like the Fourth of July

You swore and said “we are not

We are not shining stars” this I know, I never said we are

Though I've never been through Hell like that

I've closed enough windows to know you can never look back”

~Carry on, fun.

Where’s Sam?

“I don’t know, I woke up and she was gone. Sam?” Jake called out her name, hoping he just didn’t see her

Steven took the body, standing up and going to the kitchen.

Her cigarettes aren’t on the counter

Maybe she’s smoking?

At 3 AM?

Steven ran down the stairwell, not patient enough to wait for the elevator Pick up pick up pick up Steven mumbled, calling Sam’s phone again and again. When they reached the bottom of the stairs and out the door, the area where Sam usually smoked outside the building was empty and she wasn’t answering his calls.

Call Jessica and Elena, see if they know

Elena didn’t pick up, probably passed out drunk on this warmer Friday night. Jessica answered, despite the time, but she didn’t know where she was. This only succeeded in worrying Jessica, who insisted on going out and looking for her. Steven refused, saying having Jessica wandering the streets of London would only serve to distract Steven. He promised to text when he found her. 

This is your fucking fault, Jake, fuck you

A pause, as Jake Lockley was uncharacteristically quiet, processing the words. Excuse me?

So you can manage to keep working for Khonshu, being his stupid fucking fist of vengence, but you waited until after Jordan attacked, cut, beat and molested her to kill him?

Marc, that’s not fair but no one was listening to him

I told her before, I would’ve done it if I hadn’t thought it would get you in trouble with her

And after we found out about you? You don’t do it then?

Marc, she didn’t want you guys to kill him, she made that clear

Well she doesn’t always know what’s best for herself

Jesus c h r i s t Marc she’s 25, she’s not a fucking child.

Answer me, Jake

You don’t want to do this

Fucking answer me

I tried, okay? I tried to find him and I couldn’t.

You didn’t think to ask Khonshu?

A long pause

Marc, just leave it alone

Maybe you should listen to him, Marc

Answer me!

Fine, Khonshu was pissed because I couldn’t take the body hardly at all anymore, so he refused to give me any information

Another long pause

What?

Yeah.

So, the reason Jordan hurt her…

Marc don’t do this.

Is because I refused to share the body with you?

Stop! stop feeling so bloody guilty about everything all the goddamn time! I can’t fucking take it!

It’s my fault this happened, and it’s my fault she’s gone!

Can we focus on finding her first? Then deal with this?

A voice Steven knew all too well, but hadn’t heard in nearly a year rang through.

Look up, little bug

Steven did as he was told, not questioning why Khonshu decided to appear at this time, but thankful for him, for once. When his eyeline found the rooftop, he felt the wind get knocked out of him as he saw a single leg dangling over and a body laid out on the top.

Sam

If Jake and Marc were arguing still, he couldn’t hear them through the thrumb of blood rushing through his head. There were no thoughts, just Get to the roof.

He carefully opened the door to the rooftop access, not wanting to startle her.

She was laying out on the wall, a cigarette in one hand, a bottle of wine in the other. She didn’t even look as he tentatively stepped towards her. There was a half empty bottle of vodka on the ground.

“Should’ve known you’d come here. Can’t get shit past you three.” Her voice was derisive as she looked up at the sky.

Steven spoke carefully, trying impossibly hard to hide the anxiety threatening to boil over and scream like a kettle of water ready for tea. “What are you doing up here, sweetheart?” He spoke as casually as if he found her in the kitchen after bed. 

“Deciding whether or not to jump.” Was her blatant answer.

Jesus Christ. Jake’s normally steady voice breathed out with a shake.

Grab her, Steven. Steven, get her away from there.

Be careful, don’t scare her

Steven took a tentative step forward. “Can you maybe step away from the ledge, darling? Maybe we can talk about this?

“Wish you would step back from the ledge my friend” Sam sang to herself. She was drunk.

“Can we… maybe we can go for a walk, take a breath?” He coaxed with a few more steps, so close to her.

She held out a hand. “Stop, or I swear to god I’ll roll over.”

Steven froze. Get. Her. Away. Marc insisted. “You don’t have to do that, can you tell me what’s-”

“Stoooooooop” she groaned out. “Stop trying to fix things, stop trying to talk about things. Sometimes shit just SUCKS, Steven.” Her words were sluring together as she took another swig of the wine.

He nodded slowly, hands up, open palmed. “Okay, right then, shit just sucks. It can suck away from the ledge, yeah? We can suck together”

Finally, Sam turned to look at him. “It’s never going to suck together, Steven. Three of you can try, but you’ll never get it. And y’all got yer own things I’ll never understand either. But you will never understand how this feels. You will never know what it feels like to have your body repeatedly violated for what feels like hours, for it to end, only for him to show up a decade later and violate you again.” She paused, face twitching back tears. “I’m going to sit up now, don’t move. I’m not jumping, but I will if you try to touch me” She warned.

Steven had to physically stop Marc from taking the body as he watched Sam sling her other leg over the edge as she faced the city. He noticed her shoulders were shaking. “I know that… that I can’t understand what you’ve been through, or what Marc and Jake have, for that matter. But I love you, I love you and I need you here with me. Nothing will happen to you again, no one will-”

“That’s what you said last time” She spoke, almost sing-songy.

Steven shut his eyes tight, wishing Marc hadn’t heard that. “I know, love, I know. Maybe that’s not a fair promise to make. And I’m sorry.” He opened them again, forcing himself too, just to make sure she was still there. “And I’m sorry, I am so sorry I wasn’t there, that I couldn’t-

“Doooooon’t” She drawled out, waving her hand. “I know you guys -oof- all feel guilty, especially Marc. Fucker feels guilty for everything, jesus christ…” She muttered off, losing her train of thought. “It’s not any of your fault. None of this.” She glanced back at Steven. “Make sure Marc knows that.” She turned back, distracted by the stars in the sky. Starlight…

“You can tell him, because you aren't going to jump” Steven shook his head as if he were willing it to happen, willing her to safety. “Just let me help-”

“You can’t help, Steven!” She raised her hands, wine flying out of the bottle she was fisting. “That’s the thing!” Sam set the bottle down and lit another cigarette, glancing at him over her shoulder and raising an eyebrow. “There is no help. You can’t just fix this.” She shook her head, looking back again.

“Maybe…” Steven took a silent step forward while her back was turned. She was wobbly, the effects of nearly an entire bottle of wine and some vodka getting to her. He didn’t like how she teetered around the edge. “Maybe there isn’t a way for me to fix you, but maybe we can be broken together?”

She shook her head. She felt like Inspector Javert in Les Mis, trailing the edge of the bridge, debating whether or not it was worth it to keep going. “You all deserve better than me, and I’m too selfish to leave… I don’t know what other options there are.” Sam glanced at the street, so far below her, and shuttered, leaning back again. Javert has his life saved by ValJean, and still decided to throw it all away rather than be wrong. Sam couldn’t help but feel his suicide a bit foolish, comparatively.

Marc took the body. “There is no better than you, Brightside. You’re all I want, you’re all I need, you’re everything…” He tried, for the sake of keeping calm, not to cry. Marc Spector didn’t cry, not hardly ever. But when he was so close to losing her…

Sam scoffed. “There is so much better than me.”

Jake saw it before any of the others, the teeter that went too far. Whether it was intentional and she was jumping, or the alcohol had taken its toll, it didn’t matter. Jake lunged for her, wrapping an arm around her waist, and another as she tried to break free and push herself off. That was intentional. “STOP!” She screamed as they collapsed backwards on the floor of the roof, Sam fighting and screaming to get out of their grasp as Marc took the body. “LET GO!” Sam was in hysterics, no longer fighting to live, but fighting to die. “IF YOU LOVE ME, LET ME GO!” She shrieked at the top of her lungs, begging him to give up, let her go, let her die. But Marc never would.

Eyed pinched closed as his heart shattered for Sam, he wrapped her up the way he had done so many times before, only this time he hooked his legs around hers and grabbed her hands, his significantly stronger body keeping her in place. He didn’t like this, he didn’t like trapping her or holding her against her will, but he couldn’t let go, not when he had almost seen her push herself off the roof. She continued fighted even as she ran out of ‘let me go please, let me go’ was her unholy repetition, one that Marc will surely hear in his nightmares from then on. But as long as she was there, as long as he could hold her hand when he woke up at night the way she held his, he’d be okay.

He squeezed her hands. Left, Right, left, right, until she started to calm down. Marc felt her chest starting to heave.

“Are you going to throw up?” He asked.

“Why…” she panted, suddenly very, very, tired. “Why would I throw up?” She asked with a condescending air despite the obvious signs. 

“Oh, I don’t know, maybe it’s because that’s what you always do when you panic?” He said sardonically, his voice laced with sarcasm. “Or maybe, because of the vodka you were drinking straight?” 

“Oh fuck” She mumbled.

Marc moved quickly, getting her up on her knees and trying to keep her short hair back. Unlike previous times where he simply made a make-shift ponytail, this time he had to practically make a headband with both hands to stop her short, layered hair from falling in her face. Her body shook with violent heaves as Sam threw up her half-digested dinner. Vegan burritos that Steven made. Her favorite. She might never eat one again.

When she seemed done, Marc pulled her back, arm coming back to her waist as he rested against the generator. There they sat in a long silence, Marc’s usual position returned. His hold on her was no longer desperate and fearful, his legs no longer keeping her in place. Sam rested her head against Marc’s chest as she curled up in his arms. Marc started first. “I’m sorry” Came the apology. Sam knew he would do that eventually, about something.

She groaned. “What for.”

“For last night.” He said as if it was obvious.

Sam laughed dryly, borderline mocking. “Are you kidding me, Marc? What could you possible be sorry for, giving me an orgasm?

Marc didn’t appreciate that. “Sam, I fucked you, then you tried to kill yourself!”

Marc… Please stop, I can’t keep watching you do this to yourself

You don’t have to carry the entire world. It’s doesn’t all have to rest on you

Sam rolled her eyes with her whole head. “Oh for fucks sack, Marc, stop! Steven did most of the fucking and you know it!”

Sam’s back

“Not everything thing is about you! And I know, I know that’s hypocritical of me to say, seeing as I make everything about me, all the time” Her initial point was lost, the drunken rambling taking over. “I know I’m not the center of the universe…” She reached back to feel his face; Marc leaned into her touch. “But you keep spinning ‘round me just the same…”

Marc burr tied his face in her new haircut, the smell so distinctly her, despite the salon shampoo “You’re the center of my universe. Our universe. Sam, you are our center of gravity, our nucleus pulling us in, together…”

Sam felt tears pickling in her eyes as she settled further into him, Marc wrapping his arms tighter. “I’m tired. I just… I can’t keep doing this, Marc. I’m fucking exhausted.”

“I know, Sam, I know. But I promise, it will get better. I know it will.”

“How?”

He sighed. “I was going to kill myself, years ago. Things were… really bad. I didn’t think they could be fixed. But I was given a second chance. And I made a lot of mistakes along the way, but things did get better. I’m at a place now that I never thought I could be.”

A dry laugh. “This is better for you?”

He returned it with a small laugh. “Well, maybe not right now. I can’t stand seeing you like this. But overall, yeah. I’m much happier with you, I’ll do whatever it takes to keep you in my life.”

A small smile crept on her face. She turned to look at him “Even dealing with my family?”

Marc tried to brush the hair from her face, remembering now that she had bangs and that was the point. “Even if it means putting up with Jake.” He felt Sam laugh at that. “I mean it, Brightside, I won’t stop him from fronting anymore, I’ll stop being a dick, and if you love him and you want to date him too-”

How many fucking times do I gotta tell you, pendejo-

Now Sam was really laughing.

“What’s so funny?”

She was still giggling. As much as Marc was confused, he was happy to hear her laugh. She could laugh at him all she wanted as long as she was laughing.

“Marc, you know how you, me, and Steven have nicknames for each other? Steven calls me sweetheart, you call me brightside, I call Steven Sunshine and you, Starlight?”

“Yeah?”

“Have you never noticed what Jake calls me?”

Marc was still confused. “Mija and manita”

“Do yoooouuuu know what those mean?” The alcohol making her toy with him.

Marc shrugged. “I just figured they were his flirty spanish nicknames.”

Sam look up at the love of her life, beaming. “I can’t believe you don’t know Spanish”

“I know some!” He defended, planting a kiss of her forehead. “You gonna tell me what they mean?”

“My daughter and little sister, Marc. He’s like a brother to me. That’s it. Okay?”

It suddenly fucking made sense.

Do you beleive me when I say I care about her?

For once, Marc did.

Can I talk to her, mate?

“Steven wants to talk, is that okay?”

She nodded, feeling sleepy in his arms.

“Hello love” Steven took off his jacket and pulled it on her like a blanket. Despite the warmth of the alcohol, she was shivering. “Gave us quite a scare there, thought we lost you.”

“m’sorry, Sunshine. I love you. I don’t wanna leave you guys, I’m just… I’m tired”

Steven started to massage her scalp, lulling her to sleep after the dreadful evening. “I know, Sweetheart. I know.”

“I just don’t know how I’m supposed to wait years for things to get better. I’m exhausted now.”

Steven thought for a moment, choosing his words carefully. “Mary’s First Communion is next month, yeah?” Steven appealed to Sam’s love of her siblings.

“Yeah…”

“So maybe… maybe you don’t have to stay alive forever. Just try to make it through next month so you can see her and your family for that?” He suggested.

Sam considered this proposition. “Then what?”

“Then, well then you graduate in May! So you can just hold out another month to see all your hard work pay off.”

“Then what?”

“Then… then we’ll find the next thing, then the next thing, then the next, until it’s better. We’ll take it a little bit at a time.”

“Okay… thatsoundsgood.” The words meshed together and she was nearly asleep in his arms. “I love you, Steven with a V”

“And I love you, Just Sam.”

Jake?

Yeah?

Thank you… and… I’m sor-

You’re welcome, hermano.

**************

I genuinely appreciate y'all reading so, so much. 3 chapters left. I swear things are on the up and up now. It's gonna be okay. Sam is gonna be okay. Marc, Jake, and Steven are gonna be okay.

Promise.

I think I wanna do a bonus chapter from either Chris or Jessica's perspective, which would y'all prefer?

Comments mean the world, and reblogs are essential for sharing my work! Love y'all @ahookedheroespureheart @kr-mlk @mt2sssss @cherryvalentine1 @tippycakes26 @missdictatorme @my-secret-shame-but-fanfiction @nicepeony

[traveller-of-the-knight]

*ok, but what is Jake's stragle?*

[l0caltiredgirl]

when i want fluff/angst fics and all i’m getting is smut

the struggle is real

[itshelia]

My mom to her friends, my aunts, and literally everyone she knows: Yeah, my kid is so smart. She is on her phone a lot of the time, but it's not like you guys think, She is not like how kids nowadays are, She reads a lot of books on her phone!!

Me, a fanfic reader who can survive off nothing but just words and day dreams herself to sleep:

[oh-tobeafrog]

ok… imagine a moon knight and daredevil crossover where dd has no issues fighting the invisible jackals because the dude cant see shit anyway. moon knight is like “you can see them??” and matt, not wanting to reveal his blindness but having no idea theyre invisible, is just like “yeah i can see of course i can see”

moon knight then assumes dd is an avatar of an egyptian god. bc what else? so, naturally, moon knight asks “what god do you serve?”

“jesus”

“what??”

“im catholic?”

“what???”

[aphrcdites]

“not all men”

you’re right, my favorite fictional character would never.

[moonpascal]

self insert x canon will always hold a special place in my heart

[mymoonsight]

Reposting a comment I made on a post and adding to it

x Reader fics need to handle writing “reader” better sometimes

As a 6ft afab person who’s built like a man and has never been super feminine and has a more unique haircut that’s shorter I hate to read about “readers” petite, small, pale body and her “long flowy straight hair”, etc.

Reader is meant to be ambiguous!! And if it’s important to the plot please mention it at the beginning!!! If it’s not important to the plot why is it being included???

Some people who are reading may be tall, fat, skinny, short, or even somewhere in between. The readers could have a hijab, 4c hair, locks, braids, long hair, short hair, wavy, no hair and even more.

Stop making all readers so sweet and innocent, I want a reader who’s petty and sassy sometimes. I’ve noticed also that so many readers are either too baby to do anything or over powered.

Personally I also hate reading about obviously toxic men and relationships that the reader goes back to because they are “so in love”, like no please let me deck that sucker and leave them in the dust and be happier.

Also, if you label your post with the tag “___ x reader” or titled with “___ x reader” and then make descriptions and then ADD A NAME!!! It’s not an x reader fic and I heavily want to block you.

Edit:

Hey hello! I just wanted to add that I heavily respect and love fic writers! So many have a talent that I will never reach or have and I appreciate your content being put out at all! I made this post as a 5 am ramble and was half delirious lol

People can write as they please and I’ll ignore it if I’m not interested or I’ll make slight internal edits to fit me if I am

[ilovelosermen69]

Girls when he does the bare minimum in fanfiction

[tinymintywolf]

my contribution to @moon-knight-zine ! 🌙

[eyelessfaces]

hell yeah

[rexlottie]

i get to post my piece for the lunar labyrinth zine!! yay!!!

[traveller-of-the-knight]

🤍 They have a boy band and it's called the trauma boys 🤍

[l0caltiredgirl]

me @ y/n when they do something i’d never do:

like babe this isn’t us ?? get it together

[thatboisus]

yall ever read a fanfic so majestic it completely altered your entire life

[thesillyestwilly]

Me when I see my little princesses 🥰😍 (They are full grown men and most of them are mentally ill and would probably kill me if I got near. The others aren't even human 💀)