#maybe his hair just got bleached by the sun or something idk | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

brokendave · 2 years

Text

seventeen going under (j.f)

seventeen going under: part 1

synopsis: Summer Jeremiah was always her favorite Jeremiah. He had pretty freckles, sun-bleached hair, and he never wore a shirt. She had loved him in secret when the leaves were falling and when the snow-covered the ground and she loved him in secret when it all melted and the asphalt warmed up. She didn't want it to be a secret anymore. Not this summer.

A/N: this is going to be a multi-part series with lots of drama and fluff and angst and I hope you guys like it idk I'm rusty. please like, comment, and reblog if you enjoyed!!!

I was laying on Belly’s bed, the sheets tucked under my arms, staring at the ceiling. I was pretty sure she was asleep because her breathing was shallow and steady and her right hand was twitching next to mine. I don’t know why I even agreed to stay the night. Belly just looked so overjoyed when my mom brought up the idea at dinner last night, I don’t know how I could have said no. And then there was him.

I knocked on the wall behind me twice. The knocks were soft, maybe most people would not even have recognized them as intentional but when I heard three knocks back, I swung my legs off the bed and carefully stood up so I wouldn’t wake Belly.

In the hallway, I was able to breathe because there he was. Jeremiah. I sighed and whispered, “hey.”

“Hi,” he whispered back. “Can’t sleep?” I shook my head and leaned against Belly's bedroom door. My hands were on the knob, ready for a fast escape if I were ever to need one. Not Jeremiah though, he stood in his open doorway with nothing but a pair of sweat shorts on and messy hair.

Summer Jeremiah always made my heart grow ten sizes. Like the Grinch when he finally got a Christmas. Winter Jeremiah didn’t have any freckles on his face and his hair was darker and always pressed down with a beanie. Summer Jeremiah, well he had sun-bleached hair and waves from sea salt in his hair and his eyes always seemed to match the blue of the ocean when we were in Cousins.

He nodded his head toward the hallway behind him and I nodded back in agreeance, following him quickly down the stairs. I was light on my feet, careful to not make a sound. I could see my mom on the big lazy boy chair, reclined back with a glass of red wine in between her fingers. Susannah and Laurel were sitting on the couch, Susannah’s head on Laurel’s shoulder and they were all laughing at whatever was going on during the movie they were watching. It was an old black and white film. Something they probably have watched a million times. The music was just loud enough they couldn’t hear the back door sliding open.

I followed Jeremiah outside, through the big sliding door in the dining room. There was something about the pool at night. The way the moonlight made the water glow or how I could only see Jeremiah smile when the pool light hit him just right. I didn’t see Jeremiah’s smile, though. Not this time. This time, Conrad was sitting on the edge of the pool with his feet in the water. And he was smoking a joint.

“You really shouldn’t be smoking,” I tell him. It sounded more like a nag than anything, but I couldn’t help it. I don’t even know why I said it. I sat down on the edge of the pool as far away from Conrad as I could. Jeremiah was close on my heels, snagging a towel from one of the lounge chairs. I was only in shorts and a tank top, my usual sleep apparel and the night sky was a little chilly. Jeremiah always noticed when I had goosebumps. Before he sat down next to me, he draped the towel over my shoulders. His feet hit mine under the water.

“You said that to me last month,” Conrad droned. I looked over at him and his hard eyes were staring back at me. “Not like the moms will care.”

I supposed he was right. Rules didn’t exist in Cousins. You could eat ice cream for breakfast and stay in your pajamas all day or swim until your fingers and toes pruned up. No one ever said anything because it was summer.

During the fall and winter, my mom wouldn’t so much as let me leave the house in sweatpants. I always had a curfew and breakfast was made before I left for school every day. “Don’t forget your jacket,” she would call out before I’d leave the house.

Susannah was the same way. Always make sure the boys were getting good grades and keeping up their chances of football scholarships. Mr. Fisher rode them like crazy about football. Especially Conrad. He was good, too. He would have had a scholarship if he hadn’t quit over spring.

I heard them fighting through the backyard one night. I was outside reading a book on the back patio when I heard Mr. Fisher yelling at Conrad. It was hard to make out a lot of it, but football and are you crazy and what the hell were you thinking were all easily recognizable. I tried to focus on my book and not eavesdrop but eventually, when it went quiet, Conrad stumbled through our connecting gate and sat down next to me with a joint between his fingers. “That stuff isn’t good for you,” I told him. He told me he didn’t care and lit it anyway. I checked to make sure the lights in the house were out. “What was that about?”

“I quit football,” he told me. I had gathered that much but didn’t say anything because I didn’t want him to know how much I had heard. I just nodded my head and waited for him to keep going. “I didn’t wanna be tied down this summer.” Like Jeremiah and Steven, I thought, who both had already gotten jobs at the country club for the summer. Cousins was still two months away, but the air was getting warmer and everyone could feel the summer air already.

“Is that all?”

Conrad took a hit of his joint and then offered it to me. I shook my head and he took another one. “Yeah.” I didn’t believe him, but I let it go. I knew the Fishers sometimes better than I thought I knew my own family. We had been neighbors for as long as I could remember except for during the months of June and August when they went to Cousins beach. When I was thirteen, the beach house next to theirs went up for sale and it didn’t take much convincing for my mom to put in an offer. “I need my two best friends during the summer,” Susannah begged my mom. Laurel was her real best friend, I think even my mom knew that, but something about how Susannah smiled made you just wanna agree. So, for the last four summers, the Fishers were my summer neighbors, too.

I kicked my feet in the water of the pool and despite it being heated, when my foot was not touching Jeremiah’s, it felt cold. I glanced over at my side of the yard. The kitchen light was still on. “I should go home,” I tell the boys. Jeremiah stopped kicking his feet at my words.

“Why?” I looked over at him and then glanced at Conrad, who could not be bothered to look in our direction so I looked back at Jeremiah. There was his smile.

“Lights on. My dad is probably awake and besides, I can’t sleep in Belly’s bed. It’s a twin.” That was an excuse and I knew it. Jeremiah knew it. Conrad’s eyes finally glaring at me told me that even he knew it. “I’ll come over for breakfast, alright? We can go get the good muffins.”

I stood up, wrapping the towel tighter around my shoulders and Jeremiah was quick to stand up with me. “I’ll walk you,” he said. I started to protest when he put his hands on my shoulders, spun me around, and walked me toward the shrubs that divided our two beach houses. When Jeremiah and I were younger, we dug out a small path through the bushes. Jeremiah said that going through the front took too long so we grabbed Mr. Fisher's old weed wacker and cleared out a little path. Every year we have to cut it back a little, but every year, it’s there.

I didn’t wear my flip-flops out and hesitated before going through. There were twigs and branches and probably really sharp rocks down there that I couldn’t see that my shoes always shielded me from. “Oh, please,” Jeremiah huffed. He stepped in front of me and bent down, motioning me to jump on his back. I laughed and did as I was told, wrapping my arms around his neck. His skin was sticky with the late June heat and I couldn’t help myself but nestle my head against his blonde curls. “I would carry you across all of the trenches, my girl,” he mumbled.

My girl. My Jeremiah. Before there were summers in Cousins there was Christmas break in Boston, and Spring break in Miami, and a typical Friday evening in the basement of the Fisher house. He was my best friend before I knew what best friends were. We bathed together before it got weird and we slept in each other’s beds even after we probably shouldn’t have. I cried on his shoulder when the first boy I ever loved broke my heart and he was laughing when I realized the first boy I ever loved was him.

When we got to my patio, he set me down. The pavement was dry unlike the Fisher’s, where someone was swimming at all times. It seemed like the ground was never dry over there. “Thank you,” I told him. He smiled and sandwiched my head between his hands, kissing my forehead. I wanted to swat him away because I probably had sticky skin, too, but I didn’t.

“Can I come in?” He asked. I gently shook my head, even though I wanted to say yes.

“If my dad is awake, you probably shouldn’t.” My dad only had one rule. No Boys. That included Jeremiah and Conrad and even Belly’s brother, Steven. Especially no boys with the door shut or past 9pm. Sneaking in was Jeremiah’s MO, though. When he was ten, he learned to climb the trellis outside of my bedroom window and I learned to leave the window unlocked. There were countless late-night show binges and movie marathons that ended in me falling asleep on Jeremiah’s shoulder and him waking me up right before the sun rose so he could sneak back out.

He nodded his head as if he understood. “Okay,” he mumbled. I nodded my head as best as I could with his hands still on my face. They were a little more relaxed, his wrists resting on my shoulders and his thumb grazing my jawline. “Muffins?” I nodded and I could have sworn he thought about kissing me.

“Goodnight,” I told him, slowly backing away from him. He released me and his hands dropped to his sides. He was smiling softly as I backed away, grabbing the door handle from behind me. I didn’t want to break eye contact. It was like a sick game of you hang up first because neither of us wanted to leave. At least, that’s what I told myself. Eventually, I opened the door quietly and slipped into the softly lit kitchen and I had to force myself to not look back at him.

The back door was unlocked, something that my parents started doing when I was allowed to stay at the Fisher’s later than my mom did. My dad was sitting in the living room with a book in his lap. The only light was from the oven stovetop and the lamp next to him. I wanted to sneak in behind him and go upstairs without seeing him but I cleared my throat, causing him to turn around.

“Hey, honey.” My dad put the book down, keeping his place with his index finger. “You’re home late. Your mom still there?” I nodded my head and picked at the loose thread hanging off from the couch cushion.

“I couldn’t sleep. Mom should be home soon, I think. I didn’t tell her I was leaving.” He nodded and shifted in his seat. “I should go to bed.” He nodded and I felt his eyes watching me the entire time I trod up the stairs.

On my fifteenth birthday, I was dumped for the first time. His name was Elijah Willis. He was my first kiss, my first boyfriend, the first boy who told me he loved me. I loved him, too, while it lasted. The way his hands gently cupped my cheeks will forever be burned into my skin. He had always seemed too perfect, holding open my door, always calling at 9 pm sharp, always getting me a snack from the gas station even though I said I didn’t want anything.

He was perfect. Until he came to my birthday party late, a single tulip in hand that I was pretty sure he picked from the neighbor's lawn. That’s not what I noticed, though. I noticed his messed-up hair and tired, sad eyes.

We were all outside, trying to get the last taste of warmth. I was starting to feel October on my fingertips. “You’re late,” I said.

“Can we talk?” He asked, glancing around at all my friends that stared back at him like he was a fish out of water. They all had wondered where he was. I even heard Melanie and Jaz whispering to each other by the fire about how this is how it ends.

“You wanna show up to my birthday late? And then ask me If I wanna talk?” I felt my cheeks go hot. My legs turned to jello. “No. I don’t wanna talk,” I hissed. I put the words talk in quotations using my fingers and Elijah looked taken back. Eventually, we did talk. Well, he talked. He told me about how while I was in Cousins over the summer, he was hooking up with some girl from his art class and decided it was just time to end this thing with us. Those were his words, not mine.

I didn’t go back to the party. Instead, I went upstairs and cried into my pillow until Jeremiah found me. I forgot he had been downstairs, witnessing the whole thing. I bet he even watched through the window as Elijah told me about her, watching every expression my face made. I bet everyone did.

I had my head buried in my pillow and the only reason I knew it was Jeremiah that was in my room was because he smelled like sandalwood and mint. He tugged at the end of my pillow. “Pretty girls don’t cry,” he said in a sad attempt for a joke.

“It’s my party and I’ll cry if I want to,” I tried to tease back but it came out all too quickly and I just cried harder. Jeremiah grabbed me then, pulling me into his chest. I stopped crying when I saw his hand. “What happened?” His knuckles weren’t red like that before. He had white gauze wrapped around them but I could see the blood seeping through. “What did you do?” I looked up at his face. A huge red circle right in the center of his cheek. Like he was wearing blush, but cooler.

“You should see the other guy.” The other guy is Elijah, I assumed. How could I be mad? Not at Jeremiah. I didn’t smile or laugh at his joke or even start crying again. I just settled into his chest as he settled into my bed and he held me like that for as long as I needed him to. And after I no longer it, he delivered me ice cream and packs of Twizzlers until my teeth felt like they were rotting out of my head but eventually, I felt better.

Now, at seventeen, that memory is not jaded with Elijah and his summer fling. I do not think about the boy who broke my heart. That memory is categorized as The Moment I Knew I Loved Jeremiah Fisher.

As I threw my hair back in a loose pony, just enough to get it out of my face, my dad called for me from the bottom of the stairs. “Y/N! Jeremiah is here!” I slipped on my shoes and ran out the door as fast as I could. Jeremiah was standing in the doorway, his hands shoved in his shorts pockets. He had a goofy grin on his face. “Where are you two off to so early?” My dad asked as I descended the stairs, my flip-flops marking every step.

“Muffins,” Jeremiah turned his grin to my dad. “Want us to bring you and Mary some?” My dad pondered before taking Jeremiah up on his offer. “Will do, sir.” My dad curtly nodded and then left the foyer, off toward the living room. My mom must still be sleeping. I didn’t hear her come in last night from my bedroom, so I don’t know how late she was out.

“Ready?” I asked as I grabbed my bag from the table next to the door. Jeremiah bumped out his arm toward me for me to wrap my arm around, so I did. We walked, linked arms, to his red Jeep. He loved that Jeep. I loved that Jeep. We had some of our best memories in that car. He even taught me how to drive a stick in it.

“You have to keep your foot on the clutch and let it off slowly,” he tried to explain. I shook my head, frustrated that the car kept stalling but Jeremiah just laughed every time. “You’re gonna get it, trust me. It’s easier to learn manual if you do this first.”

“I don’t wanna do this first!” I exclaimed, hitting my palms on the steering wheel. Jeremiah was a few months older than me so he took his test on his sixteenth birthday. He wanted me to do the same, so we practiced and practiced all spring and summer so that when September rolled around, I would be ready.

“I did and I’m an amazing driver,” he gleamed. I glared at him. It must have been fierce because he recoiled in the passenger side seat. “Fine, fine. We’ll switch to my mom's car.”

“No. No. I wanna do it.” That was one of my biggest flaws, I always thought. Once I set my mind to something, I was determined to finish it. Whether I wanted to or not. “Tell me again.”

So he told me. Again and again until finally, one very hot August night, I did it. Jeremiah cheered when the car took off without stalling. He threw his arms out of the window and yelled at the top of his lungs, “my girl did it!”

I drove us anywhere and everywhere that night. To our favorite ice cream spot in downtown Boston where I had to parallel park for the first time but my confidence was boosted, so I was so certain I could do it. Jeremiah walked me through it but when I got out to inspect my work, the car was on an angle and the wheels weren’t straight. “At least you’re not in the street,” Jeremiah said, shrugging his shoulders before he switched sides with me and fixed the park job.

We walked down the busy street until we saw the big neon OPEN sign in the window and mint green table and chairs out front and Jeremiah held open the door for me. He paid for our ice cream even though I got a double scoop with sprinkles. We walked further down the street until we reached the park we played at when we were kids and we sat on the bench, Jeremiah sneaking licks of my ice cream even though I told him no. I took my cone and tapped his nose with it, leaving a tiny dot of vanilla on the tip. He tried to lick it off with his tongue, but it didn’t reach. “Get it for me?” He asked with his puppy dog eyes.

I wiped it off with my index finger and before I could wipe it away on Jeremiah’s shorts, he grabbed my wrist and brought it to his mouth, sucking the ice cream off. He didn’t break eye contact with me the entire time and when I cleared my throat and turned away, he shot up and grabbed my hand and we walked back the way we came.

I drove out of downtown and to the side streets. The ones that Jeremiah had driven me

down multiple times before, always letting me pick the CD but this time, I let him pick. He picked The Beatles and he silently sang to me as I drove. Eventually, the sun came up and since it was still late August, the moms were in the summertime spirit and even my mom was stumbling back home through the front yard when I parked the car.

I hung my head out of the window and breathed in the salt water air. I closed my eyes and let the breeze make my hair messy. Jeremiah reached over and pulled the ponytail out of my hair. “I always liked your hair down,” he said from the driver’s side. I looked back at him and smiled, my eyes squinting too tightly from the sun coming behind him but it made his curls look blonder. The wind plastered my hair to the side of my face and I brushed it behind my ear. “Pretty,” he whispered.

“Look at the road,” I told him. He laughed and nodded, facing the road again and sitting up straighter. His hands at ten and two. In town at the store, the one that carried the good muffins, Jeremiah rushed out first telling me to stay put so he could open the door for me.

“After you,” he gestured for me to get out so I did. He let me pick out whatever ones I wanted, chocolate chip, banana nut, pistachio. I kept pointed at them behind the case and the worker behind it kept adding them to our pile.

Eventually, I turned to Jere. “What ones did you want?”

“What? All those are for you?” He gawked. I put my hand on my heart and gasped.

“Of course not, I was going to give a a couple to my parents.” Jeremiah laughed and nodded his head. He started pointing at a few to add and when he was done he put his credit card down on the counter. “I can pay for mine,” I told him, digging around in my bag for my card when Jeremiah grabbed my wrist. “I grabbed a lot.”

“I don’t care. It’s on me,” he said. “Well, actually, it’s on my dad.” He chuckled as the cashier ran his card and handed him back his card and our boxes of muffins, which I was entrusted to keep safe. They sat on my lap the whole ride home and when we finally got the kitchen, I pulled out two for my parents and the rest displayed on Susannah’s pastry display next to the fridge. She always had something in it. Right now, it was just crumbs. I was pretty sure there were cookies in there only a few days ago.

Conrad and Steven came rushing down the stairs, swarming around me and the mufins. “Give me one,” Steven cried from over my shoulder. He reached over, bumping my shoulder, and grabbed a chocolate chip.

“You’re welcome,” I teased as Steven sat at the island counter. Conrad sat next to him, his hands folded in his lap. I grabbed his favorite and set it on a napkin, sliding it over to him. “Hungry?” I asked.

Jeremiah started rummaging through the fridge as Conrad mumbled a thanks and took his muffin. "Where's Belly?" Conrad asked, looking around in the kitchen. It was just us kids. Susannah was probably still asleep upstairs. I would bet all these muffins that her door was left ajar, as it usually is, and Conrad closed it quietly before he came down so that she could sleep longer. Belly was still MIA.

"Who cares," Steven mumbled with a mouthful of muffin. Conrad didn't look up from his own food.

“Who wants eggs?” Jeremiah called from behind me. He was holding up four eggs in his two hands with a smile on his face. “Sunny side up.”

#jeremiah fisher blurb #jeremiah fisher fan fic #jeremiah fisher imagine #jeremiah fisher au #jeremiah fisher #jeremiah fisher x reader #reader insert #jeremiah x reader #conrad fisher #conrad fisher x reader #the summer i turned pretty #tsitp

17 notes · View notes

dontworrysunflower · 4 years

Text

Merry Fucking Christmas | h.s.

a/n: i’m baaaaccckk!! lol idk it took me a while to finish this and i was gonna have it finished before christmas but then i was exposed to covid so i was little paranoid but anyway (i’m good tho). merry christmas and happy holidays!! i know this years been hard but hopefully we can make it a little better :)

warnings: drinking, angst?? idk not proof read word vomit, some language too

word count: 3.1k

also thank you @watchmegetobsessed !!

feedback/reblogs appreciated

You knew the holidays this year were going to be difficult. You procrastinated on getting gifts for your friends. Your work seemed to pile up on your desk since you got your promotion. You weren’t able to fly back home, and you still had some thanksgiving weight you weren’t able to put off.

Oh yeah, another thing. Harry was still with his girlfriend.

You met Katy, Harry’s girlfriend, at his birthday party in February. She was the epitome of ‘his type’. She had bleach blonde extensions and the bluest eyes you've ever seen. She was tall and really, really loud.

Since then, she’s all he ever talked about when they weren’t together, but when they were in the same room, boy did you want to gag.

You thought they would last maybe three to four months, you were so sure, you bet with some of your other friends.

Needless to say, you lost quite a lot of money.

You tried not to let it bother you, really. But it was so hard when Harry is the literal sweetest person you’ve met, had the voice of an angel and wasn’t bad to look at.

You felt you were the closest with Harry when you moved to London. He made you feel welcome in your little friends group. There was a little flirting game between the two of you that you didn’t even notice until one of your friends brought it up.

“Oh c’mon, it’s so obvious you like each other.” Margot slurred, her second glass clinking against the table as she finished every drop.

“What?” You asked, baffled. Your eyes were wide and your face started to heat up. “He doesn’t like me.”

“But you like him?” Ava, a friend from work, smirked at you.

You stumbled on your words, wiping at the condensation on your glass.

But since he was in a relationship now, you felt almost icky around him. You felt so uncomfortable around him that you did whatever you could to not be in the same room as him.

You were ready for the holidays, you thought. It would give you a break from constantly thinking about him being so busy with your family back in your hometown.

You should’ve known London weather wouldn’t be in your favor. It rained constantly everyday and the fog seemed to get closer to the ground every other day. The weather was getting so bad that you started working from home, the roads too wet and icy to drive on. So honestly, you weren’t that surprised when airports closed due to the weather, meaning you had to spend Christmas in London.

With Harry.

The day after flights were cancelled Harry texted on your group chat saying he could host a dinner and party on Christmas eve and everyone was invited. You watched texts from your other friends flood in, some excited vulgar words were thrown in there as well.

You never responded. Not only because you still felt weird around him for having this massive crush on him, but because things haven’t really been the same between you two.

You can’t remember the last time you had a full on conversation with him before you had to excuse yourself because you couldn’t take the ache in your chest when you were around him, and he wasn’t yours. You can’t remember the last joke he ever told you or when you went out for lunch or drinks when it was only the two of you. You were sure he noticed how weird you were around him, but never said anything, so you let it be.

As the day neared, your mind would change on whether you were going or not. You didn’t want to seem bitchy and cold on what was supposed to be the happiest and cheerful day of the year, so you thought you would go. You thought of every reason you shouldn’t go that had nothing to do with Harry, but you knew you wouldn’t be able to handle seeing him cozy up with his very serious girlfriend.

But there would be alcohol, so you decided to go.

•••

Hey (y/n)! Think you come over early and help me set up for tomorrow? H xx

You stared at the text for what seemed like hours, but it was only a couple seconds. Before you could even register what your fingers were doing, you tied up a quick message and hit send before you could stop yourself.

Of course!! See you tomorrow!

You hated yourself for the rest of the day. Why would you do this to yourself? You could barely be in the same room as him and some other friends. How would you survive being alone before the party started?

•••

The butterflies in your stomach have not been able to settle since you woke up Christmas Eve morning. Just the thought of seeing him made you nervous. You almost didn’t get out of bed that morning. But you pat yourself on the back when your feet finally hit your wooden flooring and moved on with your day.

Your shoulders hung low beside you as the time to meet up grew closer, the sun lowering behind you, Christmas lights and inflatable decorations coming to life as stars dotted the sky.

You sighed heavily as you styled your hair and naturally did your makeup.

You slid on your silky, tight dress and grabbed your coat and quickly made your way to your car to get away from the bitter cold.

You rubbed your hands together, blowing into them to regain some feeling before turning the key into the ignition, quickly turning the heater on, Mariah Carey blasting through your speakers.

You were about to pull out of your driveway, mumbling along to Mariah’s notes when you realized you forgot the gifts.

•••

Your shoulders were hunched up as you knocked on the white door, your foot tapping against the brick stairs of Harry’s house as you waited for him to open it in the freezing cold.

You could hear shuffling from the other side and watched the doorknob wiggle, Harry having trouble with his lock since June and still hasn’t had anyone fix it.

The door swings open to reveal Harry in his glory, brown corduroy pants and an ugly Christmas sweater under an apron that’s tied around his slender waist that you’ve always been jealous of.

“Hey, sorry, come on in.” Harry said to you before moving out of the way, a bowl nestled between his side and his arm.

You mumbled a quiet thank you before stepping in, your cheeks reddening at the warmth enveloping you as you walked through the foyer of his home.

“Mm,” he hummed as he remembered something. He puts down the bowl he had on his white kitchen counter and waddles over to you, a small curve on his lips as he wrapped his arms around you. “Merry Christmas, love.”

You hate that nickname. But you don’t. You hate the butterflies that flutter in your stomach when he says that word. You hate the goosebumps it causes you and the hairs sticking up on your neck when he says the one thing you feel too harshly for him. And you hate how much he doesn’t feel it back.

“Merry Christmas, Harry.” You mumbled into his neck, his cologne flooding your senses bringing you comfort.

He doesn’t let go of you yet, but he backs up just a little to see you. “You look gorgeous, (y/n).”

The air gets stuck in your lungs and you almost forgot how to formulate words. You hoped Harry thought the pigment on your cheeks would be from the cold because it totally was. Before it was obvious how his words affected you, you stuttered out a few words. “Thank you, you look nice too.”

He chuckled at you, the breath passing his lips hitting your neck, a tingle passing through your spine. “You don’t have to lie, darling.” He squeezed you one last time before letting you go, your body instantly becoming colder as he backed away.

There's a low hum of Christmas music playing in his surround sound system, a tall tree tucked in a corner between his burning fireplace and window looking out onto the street.

You turn your attention back to Harry as he speaks up again, his famous dimples puncturing his cheeks. “Thanks fo’ comin’ early to help me out.”

You rolled your coat off your shoulders and hung by the door, walking up to him as he moved around the kitchen. “Oh yeah, it’s no problem. Not like I had anything else to do.”

He gave you a small sympathetic smile before throwing a tray full of greens into the oven. “I’m sorry you couldn’t go see your family.”

You shrug as you run your finger on the edge of his marble counter. “It’s alright, nothing I can do much anyway.” You perk up when you remember what you’re doing here so early in the first place. “Guess that’s why I’m here, no? What can I help you with?” Your heels click as you move around the counter closer to him.

“Nope.” His lips puckered as he pushed you back to where you were standing. “Just stand there and talk to me. Wine?”

Your brows furrowed in confusion as you blindly nod, watching him uncork a bottle of Moscato. Your favorite.

He hands you a glass of the sparkling wine before turning back around to the dishes, prepping food of all kinds for everyone and most importantly; eggnog.

“But, you said you needed my help.”

He chuckled nervously, his cheeks reddening. From your comment or from the wine? You weren’t going to get your hopes up. “I just need some company before the party. Just stand there and look pretty.”

You try your hardest ignore the blush on your cheeks. You twirl the wine glass from the neck, watching the liquid swirl around in the depths of the glass. “What about Katy?”

He sighs deeply, opening the oven to check on the food. “We’ve been kind of fighting lately.”

You did your best to stop the grin from forming on your lips, hoping he did notice your sudden burst at the new information. They are still together, so you can’t act on anything. “I’m sorry. Can I ask what’s going on?”

He shrugs. “I don’t know really. Anything and everything. Every little thing I do annoys her and anything she does annoys me. It just wasn’t the same.”

“Is she coming?” You ask before you can think about it.

He shrugs again, shoulders hanging more than usual. “I don’t think so. She said she was staying home since she can‘t fly back to her family either.”

A silence hangs between the two of you when neither of you said anything, not really sure of what needs to be said next.

“I don’t think I feel the same way for her as I did in the beginning.” Harry mumbled, arms crossed over his chest as his hip leaning against the counter, his usually bright eyes a little darker, a little sadder.

You walk up to him and lay your hand on his shoulder, giving him a small smile. “It’s not my business but, if you really feel that way, you shouldn’t lead her on, it’ll only hurt both of you.”

Harry looks down at the floor as he nods. “Thanks, love.”

There’s a wave of silence between you again as he raises his head to look at you. You almost felt small under his gaze. Something about his crystal green eyes always made you nervous. You were scared he could see what you were really thinking.

And you also swear his eyes fell to your lips.

•••

The dinner party was in full swing now, people’s laughter bleeding in with the loud Christmas music playing around the house. Some people were dancing in front of the fireplace, drinks being refilled every once in a while.

You were standing by the counter with your friends, Margot and Ava, chatting and drinking your eggnog instead of the wine you had before the party started. You had completely forgotten about the wonderful man hosting this party, the conversation you had earlier with him slipping your mind as the drink in your hand lowered to the bottom of the glass, intoxicating your thoughts.

Even though you offered to help, Harry didn’t let you help with the rest of dinner before everyone came over, so now the food still wasn’t ready as people flooded in. You heard him say something about potatoes and that was as much as you knew of the food preparation and when you would be able to eat.

The music is lowered a bit and then a clicking sound was heard, everyone turning their heads towards Harry, who clinked a fork against his glass. “Dinner is ready!”

Everyone cheered and started making their way towards the dining room. Most people had already filtered towards the next room when a knock on the front door was heard.

You turned your head as Harry twisted the knob. You were sure Harry's face mimicked yours when you saw who was standing at the doorway.

There stood Katy, hair newly bleached and a little overdressed.

She wasted no time in wrapping her arms around him, her plump lips repeatedly marking his face with the bright lipstick.

“Oh god,” you waltzed over towards Ava, who was pouring herself a new glass of eggnog. “pass me the eggnog, I can’t stand this sober.” You pushed her over slightly and grabbed the handle of the ladle she was using, filling up your cup almost to the brim.

Ava looked at you in curiosity at your sudden change, carefully looking over at the lovely couple still by the door. “Wait, I thought you told me they were fighting.” She whispered beside you, eyes widening as she watched you gulp down some of the eggnog you just served yourself to give yourself some more.

“Guess fucking not.” You were much less sober now, on the brink of tipsy and drunk. Your words slurred, eyelids heavy, vision blurry. “Let’s go fucking eat.” You dragged Ava by the wrist towards the commotion in the dining room, almost, but not quite forgetting about the couple behind you.

•••

You’ve had four glasses of eggnog. Or was it five? But now, you stand in front of the bowl, pouring some into your glass again, making it six.

“Don’t you think you’ve had enough?” You hear his sultry voice behind you, his tone a little sassy and annoyed, but you didn’t care.

“What are you gonna do about it?” You slurred, turning around to face him. His pink lips were turned down in a frown, his eyebrows furrowed in frustration, his buff arms that were constricted in his sweater cross in front of his chest. “Gonna go kiss your girlfriend some more?” You stumbled on your feet, your drink almost spilling over the rim.

“What does that have to do with anything?” His face changed from annoyance to confusion. His thumb twisting the ring on his other finger nervously.

You open your mouth to retaliate, but even in this drunk state you knew not to say anything. You chug the creamy drink, keeping eye contact with him, watching his face change again. You didn’t care.

He obviously didn’t care either.

You sighed dramatically as you finished the drink. “Merry fucking Christmas.”

•••

You had sobered up quite a bit after your little encounter with Harry, mainly because there was no eggnog left.

You realized it was for the better though, so you made your way back into the kitchen, doing your best to not stumble or bump against anything as you grabbed an empty cup to fill with water.

“I am really sorry.” You knew his voice anywhere. But it wasn’t his usual chirpy, charming voice he had that always soothed you, it sounded more sad and somber.

“On Christmas? Out of any day you chose today?” Katy sniffled, voice wobbly and hurt.

“I know but, you know we can’t go on any longer, we’ll just hurt each other more.”

“I think I'm going to head out.”

You don’t hear Harry say anything back, but the sound of the door clicking open catches your attention and you almost turn around to watch.

“I just have one question.” Katy said weakly.

You walked away before you could hear anything else.

•••

Even though you were still a little upset at Harry (For what? You weren’t sure anymore), you stayed behind as everyone left to help him clean up before you head home.

You were putting things back in his refrigerator when you heard the front door close, the light chatter and drunken goodbyes silenced by the wooden door.

You kept your back towards the door, suddenly nervous of the words that would be spoken between the two of you.

“(y/n), can we talk?” Harry’s voice was low and sultry, your knees almost gave out.

“I should um-I should get going. It’s late.” You hurry around him to grab your things and for the door, but he holds your wrist.

“Please?” He sounded desperate, and for the first time in what felt like days you looked up into his emerald eyes. There was that desperate look in his eyes, his eyebrows furrowed and lips turned down into a frown.

You sigh and nod slowly.

He lets go of your wrist and stuffed his hands in his back pockets, his pink cheeks either from the cold or from nervousness.

“I’m sorry.” He said suddenly. “I didn’t mean to get mad and I know I shouldn’t have said anything.”

Is that it?

You weren’t going to lie, you thought he would profess his love to you or something.

“I um- I also,” he swallows and takes your hand, his rings cold to the touch. “I broke up with Katy.”

Your mouth opened for words to come out but nothing ever left your lips.

“Do you want to know the real reason why Katy and I were fighting?”

You’re still speechless, scared of the answer, even though you have an idea of what he'll say.

“I’ve always liked you, (y/n).” His shoulders rise in a deep breath. “I guess, I don’t know, I thought if I started seeing someone else it would it easier but, not being with you this past year has been hell and I know I haven’t made it any easier with being with Katy but—”

Your lips crash on his, your arms wrapping his neck, your fingers immediately tangling in his brown locks.

He stumbles back in shock but grabs at your hips, bringing you closer to his chest.

His pink lips press against yours, the corners slowly turning up into a smile, breaking your kiss.

“Merry fucking Christmas to me.”

•••

Taglist:

@samaratheweirdo @sarcasticallywitty15

(Let me know if you would like to be added or taken off taglist.)

404 notes · View notes

1ddiscourseoftheday · 3 years

Text

Sun 11 April ‘21

Liam is back and in excellent form! I have missed chatty Liam, he is such a chill pleasure to virtually hang out with. He went live to answer questions about his performance and joke around. He trolled fans in his response to a question about collabs- “I’d love to do one with hmm... Niall... and Zayn... and Harry and Louis,” he teased, and joked that “they’re here! Behind this curtain! Haha no… we could have put them in virtually! Probably would have gotten cease and desist letters from their managers…” and considered who would send the first letter. “Zayn,” he giggled, but then added that in fact his next upcoming collab is “with myself, tonight!” (hmm sounds dirty when you put it like THAT Liam!) And about the performance? Liam agreed that it’s very confusing but said he’d make things easier on us by naming virtual Liam; he’s Kelvin. He said he (Liam not Kelvin) has “been away for a while, been having a bit of time” and then immediately added that in fact he’s been rehearsing and working on this performance a lot but that “it’s the only thing I’ve been doing.” He said IDK when is LP2 coming- “when I can get to LA and work” (because he doesn’t like writing on zoom), that he’s currently working on a song for a film but that he can’t tell us anything about it but that it’s with some old friends he’s known since he was 17, they were the first people 1D worked with, that he’d consider making a visual album, “maybe a cartoon or something… maybe even an NFT, who knows!” A man in touch with what the fans want, always (well except for the NFT thing), he fulfilled my wish and demonstrated making faces to program Kelvin, and he shared a picture of his mo-cap feet like SEE they look like TINY SNAKES right? And then asked people to trend tinysnakes and the fans dutifully obliged. Look out you guys, it’s a tiny snake habitat!

And the performances? Well first there was the avatar-only one and I finally understand why he kept saying he’d be anywhere you wanted him in your house, sorry- I think other people got it all along and I just… didn’t… but anyway it’s like a pokemon go thing were tiny Liam Kelvin is just perched on your dirty laundry or table or whatever you point your phone at. ANYWAY, virtual Liam is awkward and weird and not a very good lipsyncer, but real Liam sounds amazing and looks terrific and the contrast only draws more attention to how well Liam holds the space on stage and how good he looked, in particular when they put the avatar and Liam together for the main event. He/ they sang Midnight, and it sounded great and was a big hit besides, the papers loved him as the show opener and were into the gimmick.

Louis’ new friend Sergio Aguero talked about DMing with him on his recent twitch stream (Sergio’s). Being Argentinian he ofc just starts talking to him about mate (the Argentinian tea, not bros, pronounced like mah-tay) which I have to say is dead on brand for every Argentinian I have ever met; you think Louis is serious about his Yorkshire but he’s probably met his beverage obsessed match here! Anyway so Sergio is like do you like mate, and “check out my tea stuff” (and sends him a picture of the traditional gourd and straw drinking apparatus) and Louis is like “idk what that is mate” which is hilarious because what it is… is mate… which is spelled the same… which Sergio tries to explain to his viewers but anyway yeah that’s the tea! Lol. He said that Louis has reached out a while back (but he didn’t know who Louis was until he was like “I was in One Direction”) and invited Sergio to a footie match in Portugal (to play with Louis’ famous people league team we’ve heard about before I bet) but he couldn’t go and they just started chatting now, after Louis messaged again; Louis was in Mexico but they’re gonna hang out when he’s back in the UK, and Sergio will give him some mate! LMAO OF COURSE he will. Louis will absolutely hate it but I would LOVE to see him try to be nice about some unfamiliar bitter herb water served in a gourd that sounds like PURE GOLD tbh.

Anne Marie talked about the Niall teaser pic for their collab. She said she’d wanted to work with him because “I just love his voice and he’s Irish, you know, he’s hot”, lol, and that “ he was just playing guitar, playing piano, and I was like wow you’re actually talented cause you never know who’s actually talented these days” and “we wrote like three songs and they were all brilliant.” Will we ever hear the other two songs?? I mean I’m fine to start with just the one, anytime now, but something to consider...

Falling won an ADG Award, the members of the Art Director’s Guild apparently feeling that Harry’s leaky piano was better than the competition, Taylor Swift’s leaky piano, and the tabloids picked up on twitter chatter about Harry going blond for My Policeman (because the character in the book is blond some people think he will bleach his hair) and then everyone talked about it more because the tabloids said so IT MUST BE TRUE. UM, are you even hearing yourselves? They don’t know shit people this is a feedback loop here.

#Liam payne #Louis tomlinson #harry styles #niall horan #okay so now the Liam /Liam ship name is Livin I guess? Like lee-vin?#liam said on his live he was doing the first perf somewhere then rushing to the royal albert hall to do #the baftas one- FIFTEEN MINUTES LATER #wtf #even more impressive it was so good #SO anyway that’s what Louis gets up to I guess watching handsome footie players livestream and sliding into their DMs #REPEATEDLY until they respond lol thats my fave part #11 apr 21 #clone liam #sergio aguero #anne marie #THANK YOU intern for espanol translating #and no shade intended to mate I like it fine but LOUIS. will HATE it. so much lol #Harry would like it I bet #he'd be into the special straw #niall and liam eh maybe not so much #liam would get into it as a health craze thing maybe #zayn probably drinks mate all night while he works in the studio or at least he'd be super down #to get high with some argentinians and drink hella mate

150 notes · View notes

sonderthroughthestreets · 3 years

Text

Hi! Idk what came over me but I thought an AU where Sander’s kid is anti-Bowie was the most hilarious thing thanks to @hidden-joy @kylesbishops and @sanderijzermans so I wrote it skdjdj

Disclaimer: it’s all fun and chaos and I don’t really know anything about how to write kids

x, x, x, x, credit to the chaos 🤪

The day Sander Driesen hears the words come out of his child’s mouth is the day he wonders if this is his child at all.

He’s standing there, leather jacket, white t-shirt and all, bleached hair icy even in the summer sun, and he looks down at the small stature in front of him. Grey-green eyes, dark locks and an air of confidence that could only be learned from a certain music-loving individual fill his sight. There’s so much innocence standing before him but a driven insistence breaks through the words spoken.

“Dad,” he hears. “I don’t know how to tell you this, but...I don’t really like David Bowie all that much.”

Sander thinks he’s lost his senses. He is definitely not hearing right. Hell, he’s only a man in his early thirties, he could not be this hard of hearing already. He tries to brace himself on the couch from falling over. Shit, he’s also too young to feel this frail.

“Wh-what do you mean you don’t like David Bowie all that much?”

The question comes out in gasps of air, ragged and winded, like he can’t believe what’s happening. He feels like his world’s spinning, like he’s entered another dimension, like there was no way, absolutely no way, his child doesn’t like David Bowie.

Denial is a pretty powerful thing, though...

See, when Alexandra Driesen was born, she brought light and life to Sander and Robbe’s eyes. She had a chubby face and squishy cheeks and eyes the colour of a summer storm. Her dark hair had been a blessing to match Robbe’s. Everything about her was as perfect as it could get. And then came the perpetual frustrations of parenthood with the screaming and the crying.

Sleep was something to be cherished at the Driesen-Ijzermans household. A few day-naps here and a doze-off there. But God, oh God, did Alexandra know how to cry in the middle of the night. Robbe and Sander spent hours upon hours holding her and swaying her and rocking her on a chair. Sander had read that sometimes music helps so he’d even done all that. Bowie usually floated in the shriek-filled room during these times and yet, Alexandra just wept.

“Come on, baby, just a little bit of sleep. Don’t you get tired of screaming all night?” Sander asked in that exhausted tone of parentese. He held her against the crook of his neck and walked around in sweats until he saw Robbe enter the room with blood-shot eyes and curls disarrayed.

“She’s still crying?” he asked with a rasp in his voice.

“She literally won’t stop and I don’t know what to do, I’ve tried everything. I’ve even got Bowie on for her,” he said.

Robbe took her from his arms and swayed her a little, cooing and kissing her tiny head.

“It’s kind of loud, though,” Robbe said to him as he then stepped over to turn off the music.

And in an instant miracle, the house was all quiet.

It seems that’s what’s always happened and Sander just hadn’t noticed it. Alexandra settled into Robbe’s chest and stretched her mouth in a heavy yawn. Her warmth radiated and glowed through Robbe, but Sander was stunned. He’s completely shocked.

“You-she-“ he stuttered clumsily for a bit. “But it was Bowie,” he said weakly.

How could his own daughter not feel at peace with Bowie? It was a connection he held with him, something connecting him and Robbe and what he hoped would connect their child to them in this little family.

“Hmmm,” Robbe hums pensively. “Maybe Bowie’s not her thing.”

“Not her thing?” Sander just about exploded. Then he suddenly remembered Alexandra’s finally gone to sleep and whispered, seething. “That is not our child!”

“Biologically, no. Legally and emotionally, yes,” smirked Robbe. “Calm down, babe, she’ll learn to like him soon enough. For now, how about we hold off on Bowie for a bit, yeah?”

He swayed her just a little more, just to really make sure she’s easing into sleep and then set her gently back down in her crib.

“How long?” Sander muttered and Robbe gave him a confused look. “How long without Bowie?”

Robbe contemplated.

“Maybe we give it six months or so,” he said.

And now it was Sander who wanted to weep. -

As the months and years went on, Alexandra had gone on without her Bowie-loving phase, only mildly being interested in the lightning bolt plushies and the songs blasting on road trips and the shirts Sander would get for her. Robbe says it just takes time for kids to get into stuff. That it’s better to leave it there in the open for them than to shove it down their throats.

“It’s barely any shoving,” Sander had grumbled.

“I know, babe. But I know how you can get sometimes,” Robbe had placed a soothing kiss upon his lips.

Still, Sander’s worries were increasingly growing.

Then a few years later, they’d adopted another beautiful girl. Mia was a radiant vision of blonde curls and brown eyes. They held a similar warmth that Robbe’s eyes held and Sander couldn’t be happier to lose himself in pools of coffee or dark, earthy soils or any other sort of metaphor for his favourite kind of brown.

To his relief, though, Mia loved listening to Bowie. She loved playing with the lightning bolt plushy and wearing all the shirts and as she grew, she and Sander had lots of music jam sessions blasting Bowie throughout the house. Alexandra was enticed into joining for a bit in the beginning but as time went on, Sander found it that she was making more and more excuses to not be in the same room when Bowie was mentioned.

“Uh, I got homework, Dad,” she’d nervously run her fingers through her hair.

“Uh, Papa needs help with dinner I think,” she’d run out with a tight smile.

“Group project due soon. Léon’s being a piece of shit and not pulling his weight at all.”

“Language,” Robbe would chastise coming around the corner.

“He’s being a dick?” she suggested.

“Fuck him.”

“Sander!”

“Sorry.”

Her interests lay instead in skateboarding with her friends, headphones in her ears listening to rap: BROCKHAMPTON and Stormzy with even a little Ed Sheeran in the mix, and keeping her hair as short as possible. She’d had a bit of a habit wearing overgrown shirts like Robbe did. But Sander found that endearing and he didn’t really think it was a case of ‘not-like-other-girls’ syndrome. He and Robbe just let her wear whatever she wanted.

And in fact, it was at thirteen years of age that Alexandra came out to the family as a boy. Sander remembers it clearly with them all huddled on the couch looking at the person in front of them with beady eyes, waiting.

“Dad, Papa, Mia. I think I’m a boy. I think I’m trans and I’d like to formally introduce myself to you all. I’m Alexander, or just Alex. And I use he/they pronouns.”

Sander had wanted to tear up, emotions flooding inside his rib cage. Happy tears, though, a joyous occasion where his son felt comfortable enough to tell them about this part of himself. That he and Robbe had created a space where he felt safe enough. Loved enough.

“I kept Alexander ‘cause, Sander,” he gestured to Sander. “But really, Alex is fine.”

And Sander wanted to cry all over again.

They’d all been encased in a huge family hug with Mia chirping that she’d ‘always wanted a big brother.’

Robbe and Sander had been quite supportive of it all, calling the school to change both the name and preferred name and asking if Alex was considering wearing a binder or getting a proper haircut. “Yes” to the haircut. “Hold off for a bit” on the binder. He’d whined a “Daaaaaad” when Sander ruffled the short brown locks. Most of Alex’s friends were cool with it, too and while it wasn’t all smooth sailing, he’d never run out of love from his family.

It was a big change and everything, but Sander thought, well...as long as he had his Bowie-loving children, it was all fine. -

It’s his worst nightmare. It’s the stuff that haunts you from the depths of the worst kind of hell, making your limbs feel like jelly. He’s cursing every name and divine entity and he’s really hoping Robbe’s right about those parallel universes because he’d love to hop over to the one where this wasn’t happening right now.

Sander’s having a hard time even looking at Alex in the eye.

“Dad?” he hears his concerned voice.

“I think I need to sit down,” says Sander, grabbing the armrest of the couch, lowering himself onto the cushion.

“It’s really not a big deal,” says Alex.

“Not a big deal?” Sander looks at him with wide eyes. “My own son hates David Bowie.”

“I never said I-“

“The man who infinitely changed my life. Space Oddity, Life on Mars, Ziggy Stardust, Ashes to Ashes. None of them?” Sander waves his arms. “You’re telling me you like none of them?”

“They’re...fine, I guess,” Alex shrugs innocently with a cringe to his face.

“Fine?” Sander squeaks.

“What’s fine?” Robbe trudges to them overhearing the conversation.

“Your son hates Bowie,” Sander squints his eyes at him.

“I do not,” says Alex. “I’m just pretty indifferent to him. He’s not exactly my style,” he shrugs, his hoodie moving with the movement.

“And what is your style?” Robbe laughs as he comes up behind him to rub his shoulders. He looks up at Sander with long lashes and a questioning smile stretching across his face. They share one of those ‘parenting looks.’ The ones where they know it’s not all that serious. But Sander thinks it is.

“A bit of rap, a bit of hip hop, some pop, some mainstream,” Alex lists off. “Not exactly the ‘80s vibes in me,” he laughs.

Robbe cheers as their tastes in music are quite similar and he proceeds to carry out their very own handshake they’d created when Alex was nine. There’s a different one with Sander. Sander, who’s getting more and more agitated by this revelation.

“Oh, okay,” he pats his knees and stands up. “Well, if you two are having such a grand time hating Bowie and bonding over your own music, I’ll just take myself and leave. No child of mine doesn’t like David Bowie,” he says dramatically.

“Sander…” Robbe looks at him.

“Dad…” says Alex.

“No, no. It’s fine. Really,” he begrudgingly walks out of the living room, almost knocking into Mia on the way.

“What’s with him?” she blinks twice and points a finger back.

Robbe sighs as he looks back at Alex.

“Your father, he…” Robbe puts a hand on his shoulder. “Bowie’s practically his life and so are the two of you, so I guess it’s really important to him that you like him, too. He’s just gonna need some time with all this.”

His eyes are apologetic and he gives him a half-smile, hand leaving his shoulder.

Alex takes in the words while Mia wiggles herself onto the couch and finds the tv remote beside her.

“You finally told him about Bowie, huh?” she gives him a gravely sad look. One that says he’s about to be doomed.

Alex just lets out a stressed breath as Robbe follows to go find Sander.

What’s so special about David Bowie anyway?

————————————————————————

Part 2 is coming! IM SO SORRY SKDJJF I just need sleep and rest

#wtfock #this sucks so much omg I’m so sorry #sobbe’s anti-bowie kid #<- liz I used the tag skdjdb #me writing a dad AU my god how did this happen #thanks Sarah for reading it over <3

71 notes · View notes

potatotrash0 · 3 years

Note

Hey idk if youve done this alreadh but im curious about your body headcanons for the sdr2 cast!! An anon sent some in for characters previously (the one where they said things like angie has vitiligo and stuff-i love them and they really stuck with me haha) and i wanna know your headcanons!! :D

Hmhmm this one I might be listing off the spot lmao. I feel like my hcs are mostly just. Common hcs but hey I never said I wasn’t basic skdjksjdks

cw for. Everyone. Yeah kdjfksjdks

Hajime…..I like to think he’s slightly buff? Maybe that’s not the right word. Toned? Idk, I hc that he jumps around hobbies a lot because he wants to find something he’s good at, so that includes sports. I like the idea that a few stick with him, like swimming and basketball. I imagine he also has light scrapes and scars on his legs from falling, both with skateboarding and general Clumsy Shit.

Also this one switches a lot but with Trans Hajime, I can see him with top surgery scars.

Oh ah, I like freckled Hajime!! It’s cute. This one goes with the sports hc, but I like the idea that he’s kinda tanned. Entirely unrelated but I also like the idea that he has calluses from playing guitar.

Chiakiii!! She’s soft bc I said so. Specifically her thighs, arms and stomach + some stretch marks. And moles all over. Projecting big time onto a cute fictional girl, call that self care <333 /j

uhh other than that, I imagine she has bags under her eyes from staying up late gaming. Also tan Chiaki my love. Shh I know she probably doesn’t go outside for days on end. In my defense I tan easily and I imagine she does too. Again with the projection. Shhhh

Oh oh!!!! I forgot to mention but!!!! Chiaki gets a ton of moles. I saw the boob mole and went !!!!!! fellow mole haver!!!!!! and went nuts. This is the one weird niche entirely irrelevant thing that can get me to like a character, just. Being able to point at them and jump up and down with joy over them also having moles. Idk why it’s just therapeutic <33

Nagito’s bony. Skinny mf. Could probably cut cheese with his elbows. Maybe grate it on his collarbones. Cuddling with him would be a fight to see if you can find a position that doesn’t end with something poking you in the gut. I mean this affectionately, he’s bony as shit but he’s my bony fucker <3

Pale asf, sunburns if he’s in the sun for more than two minutes. His eye bags could hold the entirety of his life’s trauma. Sharpest features ever. Sometimes I hc that he looks greasy, and other times I hc that he looks ethereally pretty in a ghostly way. Either way he always looks like he’s had the soul sucked out of him by a Dementor.

You can probably definitely see the veins in his hands. They’re. Very There. Also I’ve brought this up before but he definitely has big ass hands. L a r g e hands, all the better to head pat you with. This was originally so much more pining but I decided no I’ve exposed myself enough on this blog skfjksjdkd

Oh last minute thing, I think he’d be tall as fuck. Specifically 6’0 or taller. Also he probably (definitely) has at least a few scars from his childhood, particularly that plane crash. And I like to think he has glasses when he’s older. I’m so sorry that his section is so long I have so many thoughts about him ;;;;;

Okay uhh Imposter? Mmm. Idk actually. I do think they’d have callused fingers but soft hands. Probably from having to adapt to using a ton of different talents for their Imposter Agenda. Also stretch marks probably, all over their body.

Teruteru uhhhhh. God. Can you tell I don’t think about some characters ;;;;; Idk I don’t have much that differs from canon. I like him. Oh but he probably has cook hands? Chef hands, whatever you wanna call them. Probably faint scars from cuts and burns from when he was still learning how to cook from his mama.

Mahiru……hmm well freckles obviously dkjfksjd. I think she’s tanned as well since I feel like she likes sunlit shots. Idk I don’t have much. I like to think she’s got a stockier body type though.

Also not necessarily her body but I like her with an undercut!

Peko’s buff <3 it’s canon <333 /j

N ee way yeah. Buff Peko my love. Also she probably has a few scars from handling her sword when she was younger and less experienced. I also feel like she would have contacts she wears when she trains bc fuck exercising with glasses

I don’t really have anything for Hiyoko until she gets her growth spurt. Afterwards, I imagine she’s tall and kinda thin? Mainly bc of fast metabolism probably, though when she’s older maybe she’d be a little less spindly.

I don’t know if her hair would be bleached or not, but if it were, I like the idea of her letting her actual hair color grow in. If not, I think Ibuki might help her try a few sections of dyed hair? Idk I just like the thought

Ibuki is a fellow bony bitch. I mean this lovingly. She’s skin and bone. Skeleton rocker lady

Probably tan, I imagine she spends a lot of time in the sun. She strikes me as a summer person. Oh, I also saw some art of Black Ibuki with vitiligo and loved that!! Also calluses from shredding guitar, obviously

Hmmm I like the idea that she rollerskates? So possibly some bruises or scars on her arms or legs from falling on concrete when she was still learning. Oh oh I imagine she has a ton of piercings!!! On her ears, nose, lips, brows, tongue, belly button…….maybe she has a split tongue too idk. Also she totally gets a ton of tattoos when she’s outta Hope’s Peak, prove me wrong.

Mikan uhhh. I like tall Mikan. She deserves the height. 5’8 to 6’0 Mikan good 👍

Hmm she probably has scars all over, particularly on her arms and legs. Uh. Idk I imagine she’s curvy probably. What do I say for her I don’t have anything skjdksjdks

I’m not even gonna lie I don’t have a damn thing for Nekomaru. Or. Wait nevermind here’s a concept: buff Nekomaru but like. If you’ve seen those wrestlers who have fat on them that hides some fucking crazy strength? Yeah that’s him. Also hairy asf.

Gundham……tall vampire vibes. I’d say he’s a stick but also I feel like he’s the slim type of muscular. Idk how to describe it. Shigaraki type muscle? Male gymnast. No nevermind those guys have visible muscle. Shigaraki type it is

Hmmm I think this is canon but probably a few scratches from his pets. His arms and legs mainly but I’m sure the Devas have scratched up his neck at some point or another. Just a little though. Also piercing fiend Gundham my beloved. I also like him having a couple tattoos when he’s older. Ibuki probably helped him heheh

I’m torn between Fuyuhiko being skinny as shit and Fuyuhiko being tiny and buff. I like both………hhh

His hair is probably bleached. Peko probably helps him re-dye it when his roots start growing in. I also like him having glasses

Uhhh tooth gap Fuyu’s cute. I used to have a super small one before I got my braces, I imagine it’s the same for him. Him, Ibuki, and Gundham are probably Tattoo Buds.

Kazuichi…..I want so bad to say he’s a weakling just to make fun of him but he’s a mechanic that probably works with heavy machine parts a lot and he probably has some sick biceps. But he probably also smells like hair dye, oil, metal, and Monster Energy. Win lose situation I guess.

I like to think he has a couple piercings? Not as many as Ibuki, but maybe he’s got like. Second or third place in the class. Also he totally filed his teeth to be sharp like that

Akane!! Buff lady, could probably deadlift me or something. She’s definitely got some scars from running around, especially when she was first learning parkour. Ummm oh, I like to think she has a chipped tooth or smth like that from falling roughly as a kid.

Soniaa <33 in my heart she will always be tall and have at least some muscle. Novoselic is a war country if I remember correctly, she’s definitely got some military training in her.

Idk why but her with heterochromia just popped into my head. That pretty greenish blue gray that she has + maybe brown or hazel? I think that’d be cool. And hip dips.

21 notes · View notes

inskz · 4 years

Text

raspberry popsicle - hwang hyunjin

pairing - hwang hyunjin + convenience store worker!reader

genre - lots of fluff, a bit of angst ??? idk i hope u cry a little at the end lmao

warnings - alcohol and cigarette

words - 12+k

summary - a beautiful stranger comes to the convenience store you work at during summer every single day to buy raspberry popsicles

note - this is the first time i finally managed to finish an english fic so i thought why not post it! please bear with the inconsistencies this was written at 3am while i was feeling rlly nostalgic abt a summer i didn’t have 🥴. enjoy!!!

-----

Hyunjin met you on the warmest day of August.

He could barely keep his eyes open, even hidden behind his square-shaped sunglasses, as he walked down the street, the scorching heat of the sun forcing him to take refuge in the closest 7/11 he managed to find on google maps.

The excessive air conditioning slapped his cheeks when the sliding doors opened. Even though he felt like his throat was already itching, warning him not to stay too long if he did not want to catch a cold, he was thankful to escape momentarily the living hell that was a summer in Jeju. Warm rays of sunlight were replaced by glitching neon lights. At this hour of the day, the convenience store was pretty much empty. The whole town must have been gathered at the beach. He could feel a bead of sweat dripping down his neck at the simple thought of all the bodies piled up on the sand. When he finally found the freezer, he grabbed a raspberry popsicle. It had always been his favorite for as long as he could remember.

At first, you did not notice him approaching the checkout, too immersed in the music blasting in your earphones. In fact, your music was so loud, Hyunjin was able to make out the bass. Indie rock, he assumed. An old fan was blowing lukewarm air in your messy hair. As you finished your umpteenth spin on your rusty stool, your eyes finally met his.

"Sorry. Did not see you there," you said, jumping up and taking off your earphones in a hurry, as if you were caught red-handed. Your boss must have forbidden you to listen to music on your shifts, he guessed. You stuffed the tangled cords deep in the pocket of your forest green sleeveless vest. Hyunjin couldn’t help but wonder how someone could look that good in this horrid uniform.

"It's okay," Hyunjin muttered but you did not seem to hear him as you were too busy taping on the cash register's screen. His cheeks felt hot all the sudden, but for once it was not from the heat of the sun.

"One fifty please". He proceeded to empty out his pockets, the golden coins landing on the counter with a loud noise. Without even glancing at him, you put them in the cash-drawer.

And as quickly as he came, Hyunjin was out the door, the burning air engulfing him again, sinking into every pore of his skin. But he could not bring himself to go home yet. Instead, he sat under the shade of the parasol installed in front of the convenience store’s window, glancing occasionally at you.

Unconsciously, a smile grew on his lips as he saw that you were already back to your antics, earphones in your ears, bopping your head to the sound of your playlist.

He did not realize how long he had been sitting here until he felt a sticky liquid running down his fingers. His popsicle had melted. “Fuck”, he muttered as he saw that his white vans were now tinted pink.

-----

You’d be lying if you said the stranger’s daily visits were not the only reason you looked forward to starting your shift at 6 in the morning while all your friends were still fast asleep after long nights of partying. He would come every day around 2, except on Sundays when the shop would be closed, to get his raspberry treat.

After a week, your exchanges still had not gotten further than the usual “hello”, “one fifty please”, “thanks” and “goodbye”. Not that you did not have the desire to, but because you have always been terrified of small talk. How you got hired despite your constant resting bitch face was an unsolved mystery.

On Thursday, he entered the 7/11 at exactly 2:13 PM and, as always, went straight to the freezer. You immediately turned up the volume of your music to silence your ridiculously intense heartbeat. Of course, you blamed it on your social anxiety. What more could it be?

While he was choosing his ice cream, you could not help but stare at his broad back. You noticed how strands of bleached hair escaped from his black bucket hat. How the collar of his Hawaiian shirt was slightly crooked, causing your fingers to ache to fix it. How the bottom of his jean shorts was getting a little bit more frayed each day. How his white vans were stained pink.

The sound of the freezer’s door slamming shut made you come back to your senses. You could not bring yourself to look at him in the eyes when he finally reached the checkout. Instead, the yellow color of the popsicle he slid onto the counter immediately caught your attention.

“Don’t we have any raspberry ones left?” you thought out loud. You only realized these words actually came out of your mouth when it you saw the boy’s eyes widen and his lips part in surprise. A wave of embarrassment hit you. He must have thought you were a crazy stalker, taking note of what he was buying every single day.

“Oh, no you got plenty left... I just wanted to try something new, I guess,” he said.

It was the first time you saw his true smile, not just the polite kind. It was shy at first, but then it bloomed across his flushed cheeks causing the skin of his nose to wrinkle and his eyes to turn into shining crescents. Never had you seen such a pretty vision. The type of vision that was making your heart ache. You wanted to answer him so badly, to keep the conversation going for hours. But no matter how hard you thought, nothing came to your mind.

"One fifty, please" were all the words you managed to say with your usual nonchalant tone. You fought the urge to slap yourself when you saw his smile slowly fading, a hint of disappointment crossing his face.

Not wanting this mortifying episode to last any longer, you quickly took his bill from his hands and gave him his change almost instantly. As soon as he disappeared behind the sliding doors, a loud sigh escaped your lips, resonating in the empty aisles. You let your head fall on the counter, your eyes already closing in an attempt to calm your nerves.

Why did you have to be so damn cold?

-----

Hyunjin’s vacations were about to come to an end, yet the heat was just as unbearable as when they started. Time had stopped. Days were endless, suffocating, empty. They blended together to create a vicious and infinite loop. The sun did not seem to be wanting to set and put an end to Hyunjin’s misery. It felt like a stifling drought interrupted his fast-paced life. Like scissors cut off his wings, violently bringing him back to the ground. No matter how hard he tried, he could not bring himself to enjoy his time off.

First of all, because it was not his choice. When the company announced a summertime hiatus for Stray Kids, it came as a surprise for everyone. It just did not feel right, not after their recent successes. But like many other decisions, it wasn’t in their power. They were sent home and forced to rest.

Mostly because he was supposed to join his parents on their trip to Jeju, but the universe decided otherwise. At the last minute, his grandmother broke her wrist by falling in the stairs and his father’s boss resigned. Nothing too alarming in itself, but his mother had to be by his grandmother’s bedside and his father had to take care of the tasks suddenly left uncompleted by his now former superior.

This is how Hyunjin, who was so used to be surrounded by seven brothers from another mother, ended up watching all the episodes of Hotel de Luna, twice, alone, in an empty beach house for two weeks straight. In the beginning, he found it kind of enjoyable. He spent the first few days sleeping-in, taking endless showers, eating snacks for breakfast, lunch and dinner. But slowly he started to miss waking up at dawn, racing to get in the shower first, fighting for the drumstick when they ordered chicken. Now it was almost unbearable. He hated the silence that he once longed for.

Of course, he thought about calling his friends and family on the phone. And he did at first, but as soon as he would hang up his loneliness would grow, multiply, swallow him whole. So, he had stopped. He also thought about going out and meeting new people. But he got so used to always having his members by his side that he forgot about how you even make new ones. He felt like a fool, not even being able to do the usual tasks of a normal teenager.

The only interaction with another living being he had was with you. Each day, he was counting the hours until he would go buy a raspberry popsicle, especially if it meant that he would see your face. Admittedly, you did not seem as excited to see his. You weren’t cheerful nor loquacious. Your whole body screamed “go away” but he still felt drawn to you. Maybe it was the way you’d mimic the drums with your fingers when you were absorbed by your music. Or how pretty you looked in that green uniform. Or the fact that you remembered raspberry was his favorite flavor.

That day, he decided loneliness had become too heavy of a burden for him. He wasn’t really realizing what he was doing when he grabbed a second popsicle out of the freezer. Afraid that he might chicken out if he thought about it too long, he walked so fast to the checkout that he almost bumped in the pile of baskets sitting next to your stool. He felt a slight relief when he saw that you noticed his purchase was different than the usual by the way you had furrowed your brows.

“Hey. This one is for you”, he said, sliding the bright pink wrapper across the counter.

Instead of reaching for the treat, your fingers started to play with the cord of your earphones. For once, you looked at him straight in the eyes. Normally you would be too focused on your cash register's screen to pay attention to him. As his confidence was melting under your gaze like an ice cream under the sun, he wondered if he actually didn’t like it better when you didn’t stare at him. Your expression was unreadable, at least for him. He had never been good at those type of things anyways.

“It must be hard to work during vacations” he added with a voice that seemed to be about to crack. He could not help but scratch the back of his head in an attempt to fight back his embarrassment.

He swore he caught a glimpse of the corners of your mouth slightly curl up, betraying your regular nonchalance. “Thanks” you responded with your usual tone, as you grabbed the popsicle, but the ghost of a smile was still lingering on your face. “3 dollars please”. He gave you the exact amount and was already on his way to the exit.

He felt a bit disappointed by your reaction but what was he even expecting? As he was trying to convince himself to be content with just seeing your smile, as discreet as it was, he heard your voice, piercing through the noise of the neon lights and refrigerators buzzing.

“Wait. I have my break in 10 minutes… Can you wait for me? We can eat it outside”. Was he hallucinating or did you actually asked him to eat together? He had to check your face several times to make sure he had not gotten crazy. Considering the way you were staring at him with your eyebrow arched, he figured he wasn’t dreaming and you were impatiently waiting for his answer. “I have to go get some fresh air anyways”, you added, trying to fill the uncomfortable silence.

“Sure”, he finally said, doing his best to keep his cool but he knew too well that his face had turned crimson red.

“I gotta put the popsicles back into the freezer otherwise it will be melted by then”. Your fingers reached for his. He noticed how small your hand seemed next to his, how the black polish on your nails was chipped, how cold your skin felt against his.

Once he was sure you were holding the popsicles, he sprinted out of the convenience-store. It was only when he got outside that he realized he had been holding his breath all this time.

-----

The next 10 minutes felt like a real ordeal. Not even the last album of the Strokes blasting in your earphones could distract you from the fact that the cutest boy you had ever seen was sitting on the sidewalk waiting for you, right in the middle of your field of vision.

You decided to swivel your stool towards the old clock instead. Seven minutes left before you could take your break. Your foot was tapping frantically on the white tiles. You were not sure if you wanted the minute hand to reach the 6 already or to stop right here in its track. Get this over with already or never have to talk to the boy again.

No matter how hard you tried to ignore his presence, you just could not. Maybe if the small TV mounted on the wall had been playing something a little bit more interesting than ads for beers and tampons you would have been able to, but sadly it was not the case.

You finally caved in, your gaze going back to him. Once again, you couldn’t help but stare at his shoulders. Unfortunately, he ended up turning around, catching you ogling. “Shit” you whispered under your breath, mortified.

That was it, you thought. Even though there were still 2 more minutes left on the clock, you couldn’t stay here anymore. Otherwise you would have probably died of embarrassment by the time would be up.

You went to find the two popsicles you had put back into the freezer. You also decided to grab two cokes on your way out. You let out a loud breath, unsuccessfully trying to release the tension that had built up in your chest, before the sliding doors opened.

“Here” you said, holding out the popsicle and the drink to the boy. He grabbed it with a small “thank you” and a soft smile. The concrete burned the back of your thighs, left exposed by your worn-out denim shorts, when you sat by his side. The bright blue of the sky hurt your pupils. There wasn’t a single cloud on the horizon.

“I forgot how hot it was outside” you finally said. And you really meant it. It felt like you just went from a fridge to a 390 degrees oven.

“You work all day?” he asked, his face turning to yours. You noticed that he was already halfway through his coke. He must have been so thirsty. You felt bad for making him wait under the sun.

You nodded, as you took a sip of the beverage. “From 6 to 9. I start and finish my shift when the weather is still bearable” you explained.

You looked at your bare arms that were already heating up. They did not see the sun more than a few times this summer. You must have looked ill compared to the tanned vacationers. “I did not put sunscreen on” you said, thinking about how your mom used to nag you when you were young when you would stay under the sun for too long.

“You should probably go sit under the shade”, he suggested, his head turning to the plastic chair the convenience store had provided.

As you sat in it, you could not help but wonder if he purposely saved the place for you. It was positioned in such a way that you couldn’t clearly see the boy’s face, only his back and a bit of his profile. And what a profile. Chiseled jaw, delicate nose, pouty lips, pierced ears. You found yourself enjoying the view way more than you should have been. There was something so pleasant about being able to take a closer look at someone without being scrutinized back. But the lovely vision was disturbed by the beads of sweat that were forming at your eyebrows. You wiped it off quickly with the back of your hand.

“I fucking hate summer breaks” you sighed. The words came out harsher than you expected as you tore the fuchsia wrapper that protected the popsicle.

“Could not agree more” he said, between two licks. The way he was eating his popsicle was just sinful, you thought.

“Really? That’s an unpopular opinion though.”

“I guess I’m not used to breaks,” he shrugged.

“What do you do?” His answer had spiked your curiosity. He looked fairly young, around the same age as you. You wondered what kind of occupation would take up so much time of his life. Worker at a factory? Top athlete? Freelancer?

Oddly enough, he took a few seconds to answer as if he was not sure himself. “I’m a hip-hop dancer” he finally said, turning around to see your reaction.

“No offense but that sounds like an all year long vacation to me” you teased him.

A laugh escaped his pink lips. Ringing and honest. It was music to your ears. “It’s really not, trust me. What about you?”.

“I’m a college student. I’m majoring in macroeconomics”. His once innocent smile turn into a teasing one. You rolled your eyes but the corners of your lips, already curling up, betrayed you. “I know. Sounds boring. It’s boring actually”.

“I always wondered what the usual college student day looks like”.

“Wake up. Eat. Drink. Party. Sleep. Repeat. Oh, and sometimes go to class,” you counted on your fingers.

“TV shows are not lying then?” he asked, cocking his brow.

“They are. They make it seem fun when in reality it’s just the same stupid people doing the same stupid shit every single day. It gets exhausting really quickly... Oh and don’t get me started on hangovers, they make you regret going everytime.” You stopped your rant there and went back to eating your popsicle, afraid that you might have made him uneasy.

But it didn’t seem like it. Instead, he looked pensive, almost sad. “I wish I could live like that sometimes...”

“What’s keeping you from partying right now? You’re here with you parents?” Vacations were the perfect time to get wasted so it was surprising he did not seize the opportunity to do so, like all the other teens in town.

“I was supposed to, but something came up last minute. So, I’m all by myself. I don’t know anybody here,” he admitted. Although he turned his head to the other side, hiding his face from you, you could sense a bit of embarrassment in his voice.

You both fell silent, acting like you were too busy eating your popsicles to talk. You didn’t know when you decided to speak up. You couldn’t even remember what your train of thought was. But here you were, about to say a sentence you had never thought you would be saying to stranger one day.

“Hey, I’m meeting with my friends tonight. Do you wanna come?” The heat had probably melted your brain, you thought. There was no way you would have uttered those words if you had been in your right mind. You held your breath, waiting for his answer.

His eyes immediately went back to yours, lighting up with expectancy. “Will they be okay with it?”

“I think so. They always bring a plus one last minute without warning me. So that will be my revenge” you laughed, trying to conceal the nervousness that was growing in your stomach as you were realizing the implications of your offer.

“You sure?”

An old man was coming your way, a large shopping bag on his shoulders. A curse escaped your lips as you checked your phone. It was way past your break time. “If you insist, I’ll call them to ask. I gotta go.” As the client entered the shop, you quickly got up and threw the popsicle stick in the closest bin, along with the wrapper “I don’t get why you’re so obsessed with this popsicle, it’s really not that good”, you muttered on your way to the entrance.

“Wait. Where do we meet up tonight?” he stuttered as he sprung to his feet.

“Be there by 9” you yelled before disappearing being the sliding doors.

-----

When the client left, his basket full of oranges and peaches, you decided to call your friend as promised. You reluctantly pressed Minju’s contact picture. In order to have your hands free and be able to refill the aisles with ramen packets, you stuck your phone between your ear and shoulder. You regretted it immediately when she picked up the phone, her loud voice hurting your eardrum.

“You better not be calling me to cancel tonight’s plans.” You’d be lying if you said that the absence of any kind of greetings came as a surprise. Her answer was easily explainable by the fact that your phone calls were rarely auspicious since you despised calling and only did it instead of texting when you had something to apologize for.

“Yeah, about that… Just wanted to warn you, I’m bringing a friend tonight”. You could not help but wince at your own words, already predicting her answer.

“You have other friends than us?” She asked in her famous mocking tone, making you regret instantly your prior boldness. It was so unlike you to invite a total stranger and Minju knew it too well.

“I met him recently, he comes to the shop everyday”, you tried to explain.

“He? A boy?” She gasped and your mind could clearly imagine her shocked face as if she was standing right in front of you, hands on the cheeks and mouth agape. You’re pretty sure your eyes rolled all the way back to your head.

Your friend must have guessed it because you could hear her repressing a giggle. “Okay, okay” She said, regaining her composure. “What’s the lucky man’s name?” she allowed herself to ask. A sudden realization hit you.

You did not even know his name.

-----

As Hyunjin walked down the same street, his pace faster than usual, he felt his heartbeat increase and his hands getting clammy. The sun had not set yet, but the sky’s color had changed, shades of pink and oranges replacing the garish blue. A fresh breeze was tickling his nose and caressing his cheeks. The linen shirt he wore would probably come handy by the end of the night, when the air would have completely cooled off but for now, the tension in his body was making him sweat profusely. He felt like a frightened teenager going to his first party. Which, to be honest, was not that far from the truth.

When he entered the shop, you were running everywhere, apologizing for being late. He offered his help to close the shop, which you accepted but only after he insisted. Fifteen minutes later, as you were finally about to lower the shutters and leave, you stopped dead in your tracks.

“We can’t come empty handed”, you muttered to yourself. You went back into the 7/11 and grabbed a pack of beers and a bottle of coke from the fridge, as well as a pack of cigarettes and a bottle of vodka behind the counter. The night promised to be eventful and Hyunjin could not help but feel slightly excited as if he was about to break the rules. And in fact, he was probably going to break his company’s rules tonight.

Even at this hour, the subway was packed by teenagers going out for the night and businessmen coming home late to their family. It forced the both of you to stay quiet, the chatters and the rails’s screeching making you unable to hear each other anyways.

Hyunjin caught a glimpse of your reflection in the window. You looked tired, staring into space, as you were holding the heavy bottles. He could sense that you definitely weren’t as excited as him to go out. Your body was slouching against the metal door, as if you carried the weight of the world on your shoulder.

At each station, you would mindlessly move aside to let people get on and off. He could not help but stare at your features that had seemed to age in a matter of hours. You looked jaded, as if you already saw everything that life had to offer you and that it did not live up to your expectations.

Hyunjin couldn’t help but wonder if you regretted inviting him. He unsuccessfully tried to ease his mind by convincing himself it was probably the long day of work you had behind you and not his presence that was making this apathetic.

Moments later, you were already at the host’s door, pushing on the intercom’s button reluctantly. The person that picked up did not even care to ask you who you were before allowing you in.

Hyunjin was surprised there wasn’t any beer pong table or bowl of punch. No expensive mansion, no pool filled with girls in bikinis, no flashing lights, no blasting electro music. Only about twenty tipsy teenagers gathered around the couch and the dining table, sipping on cheap drinks and sharing cigarettes, listening to commercial music. It looked nothing like the movies but at least Hyunjin felt a little bit less nervous in this familiar setting.

-----

You could not bother to go around the room and say hi to everybody. Firstly, because you didn’t know at least half of the persons there and did not care to meet them. Mostly, because you spent the last month ghosting the people you did know and did not want to confront them. Instead, you went straight to the wooden dining table, barely visible under all the unhealthy snacks and beverages, where Minju was seated.

“Here comes Y/N, guys”, she yelled as if you were the literal messiah, but thankfully nobody was listening, too busy getting wasted. When her eyes went from you to your guest, they doubled in size.

“So, this is the guy you were hiding all this time”, she teased, and you could see the boy’s ears turning bright red, even in this dim lighting.

“I’m Minju,” she said, holding out her hand for him to shake.

“Hyunjin” he responded with a shy smile as their palms met. Even though you wanted to strangle her for embarrassing you in front of everybody, you had to admit her antics were useful for once, since it allowed you to finally learn the stranger’s name. And what a name. You found yourself repeating it in your head again and again and again… It fit his features perfectly: soft and dreamy.

You had to snap out of it, you thought. All these feelings were so out of character. “I need a shot. Want one?” You asked Hyunjin. Before he could even answer, you were already grabbing the bottle of vodka and hastily pouring the liquor in two small glasses.

“Sure” he said as he reached for the alcohol. You clinked your glasses, looking straight into each other eyes, before downing the bitter liquid in one shot. His face contorted dramatically as soon as his lips touched the vodka, making you chuckle.

The lighthearted moment did not last long since you saw Jiwon coming in your direction. You had met him at you first Halloween college party. He was your typical frat boy, friendly and noisy, but mostly silly. To your surprise, he had taken interest in you and made his mission to transform you into an extrovert by the end of the year, which, by the way, did not happen and was not about to happen anytime soon. His intentions weren’t bad but his constant nagging about socializing only made you drift further away. And tonight, you definitely weren’t going to put up with his bullshit. When he reached the table, you avoided his gaze by reaching for the bottle once again.

“I might need another one” you muttered under your breath as you quickly poured yourself a second drink, swallowing it in a matter of second, your throat burning and chest warming up.

“Y/N! It’s been a while. Where have you been?” Jiwon asked you, putting his arm around your shoulders.

“Working” you replied curtly. The boy just laughed at your boorish behavior, used to it by now, and playfully shook your shoulder.

“We’re gonna play ‘never have I ever’. Wanna join?” he asked at your intention but also at Hyunjin’s.

“I’ll pass”, you immediately responded, not in the mood for revealing all your dirty little secrets to strangers. When were you ever in the mood, anyway?

“If you didn’t already know Hyunjin, Y/N is the definition of a party pooper”, Minju slurred as if her mouth was full of marbles. You could already predict the fact that you’ll probably spend the end of your night holding your friend’s hair while she pukes in the toilets. “But I’m sure you’re much more fun than her”.

“It’s really not that hard.” Jiwon added, a teasing smile dancing on his lips.

Hyunjin looked at you as if he was asking your permission to participate in the drinking game. You suddenly felt guilty, realizing you were probably ruining his night by acting so sour. You nodded for him to go and not to worry about you. He smiled back at you as Minju was already grabbing him by the arm to drag him to the living room. He found a seat on the rug, between two pretty girls whose names and faces you couldn’t remember.

After hesitating between staying at the dining table, moping around and binging on sour cream and onion chips, or moving closer to the group of players, you decided to come and seat on the armrest of the sofa to observe the game. Hyunjin’s nervousness seemed to lessen a bit when he saw that you were now just in front of him, only separated by the coffee table filled with glasses, and you could not help but find it adorable. His eyes left yours to find Jiwon’s as he handed him a dark green bottle of beer.

“Okay so here is the twist. We’re gonna play the other way around. I say something I have done and people who never did it must drink. That way goody two-shoes get drunk for once. I’m sure the others don’t need help to get drunk anyways”, the girl on the right of Hyunjin explained and the partygoers approved loudly.

“I’ll start slow. I have had a blackout before” she said, a smile creeping up on her mouth. Hyunjin looked around as if he was waiting for some type of signal. When he saw a few other people drinking, he took a sip of his beer.

As expected, a guy was already bickering with his friend about whether or not he could really remember the time he danced naked on the kitchen counter on New Year’s Eve. With each statement, the players became more and more tipsy, more and more loud. It would usually get on your nerves and you would go take refuge in the bathroom to ease your growing headache, but surprisingly you did not mind the noise.

Probably because all you could pay attention to at the moment was the boy in front of you. You could not help but secretly watch his every move. You hoped nobody noticed you were staring. So far, he had drunk at almost every round. Thankfully it was just beer and not another strong liquor, otherwise he would have been too far gone to even be able to get up on his feet by now.

Your mind started wandering. It was filled with questions only him could answer but that you will probably never ask. You wondered what his life was like. You had never seen someone drink this much during a “never have I ever”. Certainly because people who knew they would be drinking this much usually abstained from participating. But Hyunjin looked like he was having the time of his life losing every single round.

How come someone like him had so little experience? He did not seem like the party animal type, so you weren’t surprised when he took large gulps when a girl said she had thrown up on a friend before and when a guy stated he once fell flat on his face because of how pissed out drunk he was. But how come he never had a long-term relationship nor a one-night stand? How come he never had to hide a hickey? How come he never broke up with someone? How come he never made out in public? To say the boy was a mystery to you would have been an understatement.

His actions were getting clumsier, his laugh getting louder, his lids getting heavier, his cheeks getting redder, yet you were mesmerized. The usual aversion you’d feel towards inebriated teens had magically vanished at his captivating sight. How could someone look this beautiful, even with their guard down?

As he finished his third bottle of beer, the blonde girl on his left was already opening him another one with her lighter. You could barely hear what he was saying to her above the music and the screams, but you sensed that the alcohol was starting to become a bit too much for him as she forced the drink in his reluctant hands.

“I’ll replace Hyunjin” you said, leaping up instantly to everyone’s surprise including Hyunjin’s. He stared at you with big eyes and you suddenly felt dumb, standing here while everybody was slumped on the Persian rug.

“Here comes your knight in shining armor, Hyunjin,” Jiwon said, breaking the awkward silence by laughing loudly as if it was the highlight of his night.

“Are you scared your boyfriend is gonna get out of control, Y/N?” the blonde asked, a smirk dancing on her bright red lips. Hearing your name in her mouth came as a surprise to you since you were pretty sure you had never seen her before. But it’s not like you paid attention to drunk girls at parties. You let out a forced laugh as you got around the coffee table, trying not to crush fingers or knock over red solo cups.

“I’m just way too sober for this shitty party”, you said while you finally managed to plop down gracelessly between Hyunjin and the blonde. You addressed her your biggest, brightest, sardonic smile before you snatched the bottle she was trying so hard to give to the boy from her.

You tried to avoid Hyunjin’s gaze by staring at the round stains left on the wooden table by previous glasses, as if it was the most interesting thing you ever saw. But it was impossible to ignore his presence when your bare shoulder was flushed against his. You suddenly became so aware of how cold your skin was compared to his. You felt your heart beat in your biceps. You secretly damned the vintage muscle tee he was wearing. You would probably have found it ugly on anybody else but, oh god, did it look good on him.

You finally dared to take a look at his face, only to meet his dark hooded eyes. He was looking straight into your soul, making you feel naked, stripped down from your armor. It seemed like any kind of shyness had left him as alcohol had infiltrated his body. You could have sworn he was gradually leaning forward, getting closer to your face inch by inch, second by second. As he suddenly lost his balance, you moved just in time to avoid his head, which ended up bumping against shoulder.

“Woah, sorry” he giggled while he grabbed onto your forearm for additional support. His fingertips were burning your skin, his smile was frying bour brain.

You could see Minju smirking out of the corner of your eyes, making you instantly get a hold on yourself. There was no way you would give your friend the satisfaction of seeing you flustered because of a boy.

“My turn,” you said, after clearing your throat. “I have gone skinny dipping before.”

-----

Hyunjin could not tell how much time had passed until he finally realized you had disappeared when he felt like he was on fire. Your coldness was gone and the little voice inside his head was urging him to go find it again.

He got up, his legs wobbly as if he was walking with high heels on quicksands, and wandered down the corridor. The alcohol had his head buzzing. He could not trust his senses anymore, his eyes were playing games, twisting and blurring his surroundings. Thankfully, there were no countless doors leading to dark rooms filled with strangers making out. Just your usual messy bedrooms and small bathroom, making it a lot easier to find you.

When he turned the silver knob of the second door, he was immediately warned by the scent of burnt tobacco. He could make out your figure, standing on the small balcony. Your features were lit by the moonlight. The smoke coming from your cigarette was creating shadows on your face and the fresh wind was blowing in your untamed baby hair. For the first time you looked soft, almost fragile.

You only seemed to notice his presence when he tripped on the windowsill, making a blaring noise that echoed into the empty street. Even though he was drunk, he could still see you were repressing a laugh.

“You look like you’re having fun” you said, backing onto the balustrade and crossing your arms over your chest, your halfway smoked cigarette stuck between your index and middle fingers.

“Yeah. Thanks for bringing me” he responded, climbing onto the bar of the balustrade like a kid would do to be able to look outside despite his small height. He did not know he had vertigo until he looked down the 5 stories. You grabbed him by the arm, pulling him back to the ground as his head was spinning.

He stole your cigarette and brought it to his lips to take a drag. He immediately regretted his decision when the smoke burnt his esophagus, making him almost choke. He gave it back to you with a sheepish smile. But you seemed amused by his childish antics.

“My friends seem to like you a lot”, you said, ignoring his embarrassing attempt at acting like a bad boy. “I’d say even more than they like me”.

“No, they don’t” he snorted.

“Yes, they do” you chuckled. You took a long drag of your cigarette as you turned around to look at the moon. A cloud of smoke escaped your lips and nostrils, tingling Hyunjin’s unaccustomed nose. “But don’t worry. That was the reaction I was hoping for when I invited you.”

Hyunjin’s eyebrows furrowed. He could not quite comprehend what you were meaning by that and the alcohol flowing through his veins was probably not helping.

“I knew they would pay attention to you and not me. It’s a win-win situation. You’re having a great time and they’re leaving me in peace for once. I don’t think I would have been able to put up with another ‘why are you so quiet’ or ‘smile a little more’ comment”, you explained, addressing him a small smile. He noticed you were trying hard to hide a certain form a sadness, but it shone through your steel mask anyways. He could see it in the way your eyes would linger for too long on the accumulated ashes and your breath would shake.

“You really hate them, huh?” He realized his question was gauche a second too late. A silence settled in between the two of you, only disrupted by the sound of the wind blowing in the trees. The moon was almost full and there was no cloud in the navy sky to soften the light it shone on you.

“I don’t hate them. I hate the way they make me feel”, you finally admitted as if you were dying to say those words out loud for so long.

“How do they make you feel?” Hyunjin inquired hesitantly.

“Like I’m out of place” you said. “Have you ever felt lonely in a room full of people? I feel that way each time I show up to those parties. That is why I stopped coming. The worst thing is my friends try so hard to make me feel like I belong here, to the point that it becomes annoying. They keep on inviting me and dragging me everywhere they go. Yet, it doesn’t work.” You sighed heavily and flicked the ash at the tip of your cigarette. “The problem is not them. It’s me”, you muttered to yourself, but Hyunjin could hear the pain in your voice.

“And how do I make you feel?” He dared to ask, preparing himself to have his feelings hurt.

“Honestly? Jealous. I wonder how you do… this,” you said, waving your hand in his face.

“What is “this”?” he giggled.

“Being so charming.” You looked at your shoes, your cheeks flushing red as if complimenting him was the most embarrassing thing you had ever done. He could not help but find your behavior endearing. A teasing smile was painted on Hyunjin’s face, making you roll your eyes. He bumped your shoulder with his to get a laugh from you. He felt relieved to see you finally smile.

“You’re gonna probably roll your eyes at what I’m gonna say but there aren’t only good sides to being well-liked” he started hesitantly.

Your reaction pushed him to continue. It looked like he had all your attention, like you were genuinely interested in knowing how he felt. It had always been hard for him to talk about it, even with his members since he didn’t want to be an additional burden. But he found a sense of comfort in telling an almost total stranger. If truth be told, he felt like he could tell you everything at this exact moment.

“I’m always wondering if the person they like is the real me or the front I’m trying to put up every single day. I’m scared they’ll find out who I really am and get bored of me. Or even worst, disgusted by me”. He was so used to hiding every single one of his flaws. A perfect man, that is what he was always asked to be. Perfect skin, perfect hair, perfect outfit, perfect personality, perfect performance. He was taught the smallest misdemeanor would lead not only to his downfall, but his friends’ too. What a heavy burden to carry when you’re still just a lost and confused teenager. “I feel like an impostor.” His members probably felt the same way sometimes, but it was obsessing him. He couldn’t count the number of nights he stayed awake wondering if he really earned his place by working himself into the ground or if was just lucky to be born with a pretty face.

“Then who’s the real you?” you asked quietly. Your eyes were shining in the dark, your long lashes surrounding them like the petals of two rare flowers. He felt like he could dive into them, get lost in the abyss and never come back up to the surface, as if he would find the answer to your question there. For a minute, it seemed like he forgot how to breathe, how to think. He finally came back to his senses when you stubbed out your cigarette, breaking the entrancing contact between the two of you.

“An insecure and sensitive drama queen”, he said with a fake solemn tone like a spy revealing his real identity.

“I would love to get to know her somedays” you joked, grinning from ear to ear. How badly he wanted to pinch your pink cheeks right now, to squeeze you so tight you’d pop in his arms.

“How about tonight?”

You spent the next few hours on the small balcony discussing your everyday lives, sharing your guiltiest pleasures, revealing your darkest secrets, keeping each other warm by huddling up. He discovered you were polar opposites. You despised coffee while he would kill for a good iced Americano. Hyunjin enjoyed listening to hip-hop, you preferred rock. You liked old black and white movies while he’d never say no to go see the new marvel one in theaters. He’d always pick sweet raspberry over any other flavor, but you’d choose bitter lemon. You strived at night, when no one was watching, whereas he lived under the constant spotlight, scrutinized by strangers. He felt like the sun and you looked like the moon. He was the summer, warm and welcoming, and you were the winter, cold and impenetrable. You were so far away from each other, worlds apart. Yet, never had he felt this close to someone before. In your presence, he felt at home.

The creaking sound of the door opening interrupted your conversation. “Guys, Yerin is kicking everybody out” Jiwon said. Minju, trying hard to keep her eyes open but loosing miserably against the alcohol and the sleepiness, was gripping the boy’s shoulder tightly, using him as a crutch.

“What time is it?” you asked, getting back inside the bedroom. Hyunjin followed reluctantly. Never had he hated someone more than Jiwon right now for putting an end to such a magical moment. He had to fight the urge to scream at the intruders to go away and leave the two of you alone. But it was too late, the atmosphere had already shifted, and you were back to the usual detached attitude you displayed in public.

“It’s already 3 am. I’m taking Minju back to her place” he answered. You thanked him, obviously relieved not to be the one in charge of taking care of your drunk best friend.

When your group arrived in the living room, Hyunjin saw a girl who was trying to clean up the mess the guests made. He would have offered his help if he had not seen that you were already out of the door, waiting for him. Jiwon and Minju left immediately in a yellow cab that was waiting for them.

Once again, you and Hyunjin were alone, surrounded by the silence of the dark night.

“I don’t wanna go home yet”, he whispered to himself, as he watched the few stars the polluted air of the city allowed him to see, his back pressed against the concrete wall of the building.

“Me neither”, you admitted. His heart jumped in his chest at the thought that you wanted to spend more time with him. His eyes dared to find yours. They were sparkling in excitement. A few hours ago, never he would have hoped to see you react in such a way. Only him seemed to be allowed to see this facet of yours. You made him feel so special.

“Let’s go somewhere else” he said.

“Where?”

That was a good question. Where do teenagers go in the middle of the night if it isn’t to a house party? “I’ve never been to a club before”, he suggested after racking his still foggy brain.

“Let’s make this night a night of firsts then”. Your cold fingers intertwined with his, sending shivers down his spine, as you dragged him in the alley lit by rusty streetlamps.

The night was young and so were the both of you.

-----

You couldn’t fathom how the fuck you ended up in a dingy night club at 3:30 AM, the place you despised the most on earth, right after public toilets and hospitals. Yesterday, a check to your name with at least two zeros would have been necessary to convince you to join the wasted partiers. Today, a sweet smile and a couple more shots of vodka had been more than enough. The effect the boy you met just a few weeks ago had on you was much more important than you would have liked to admit. How far were you capable to go for him if he asked you to? There was something scary about this intense sentiment you never felt before.

Hyunjin had you dancing in the middle of a crowd of total strangers as if nobody was watching. You, the person who was self-aware of every single one of her moves, constantly imagining how she looked in the eyes of the people surrounding her. For the first time, you let yourself truly exhale. You didn’t realize how long you had been holding your breath for.

Your intoxicated blood was pumping in your veins to the rhythm of the music blasting in your ears. Your limbs were moving as they wished, as if they had a mind of their own. The ground, sticky after all the drinks that were spilled on it, seemed to be rippling under your feet. Your whole world was tilting to the right, and then to the left, like a seesaw. Each flash of light felt like an additional shot of adrenaline. Your head was spinning and your vision getting hazier by the minute, making your eyes unable to distinguish the mass of sweaty bodies in the dark. But no matter how dizzy you were, you could still see him clearly.

Like Sirius, the brightest star in the night sky, Hyunjin shone. In a tide of people, you only had eyes for him. His body was moving in the most entrancing way, swinging so effortlessly to the beat of early 2010 hits. You couldn’t help but stare at his glistening neck, his collar bones left uncovered by his white muscle tee, his defined biceps, his swaying hips. Every inch of him seemed to be the work of Apollon.

You knew people were admiring him but you did not care. How could you be mad at them for taking a glimpse of such a beautiful sight? Especially when his eyes were never leaving yours, making you wonder what you did in your past life to deserve even a second of his attention.

You did not know how many hours went by, watching him recreating the most ridiculous dance steps he could remember to make you giggle and listening to him butchering your favorite childhood songs. At some point, you joined him. You screamed at the top of your lungs approximative lyrics that faded into uncontrollable bursts of laugher as he would catch you in his arms, make you twirl around and lift you in the air.

As people were slowly leaving the club, you were coming down from your high. Hyunjin was holding you tighter and tighter, your chest crushed against his, not even an inch separating your bodies, as if he was scared you might vanish if he loosened up his embrace even just a little. You never were the affectionate type, too afraid getting closer to someone would only scare them away. Because this is how you’d normally react yourself. The proximity was terrifying, the intimacy even more. But being in Hyunjin’s arms just felt so right at this moment.

Suddenly, the music seemed to come from another room, so far away, muffled as if your head was underwater. You dared to remove your face from the crook of his neck. You were relieved when you saw his face. Relieved this was not just a dream, this was your present. You were both gasping for air, inhaling and exhaling at the same tempo.

Your fingertips found his right cheek, then grazed his cupid’s bow and finally touched his lower lip. They felt too rough against his plump mouth. No matter how hard you’d try, you would never be gentle enough for such delicate features, for such a pure soul, you thought. You would ruin him, destroy him, tear his heart apart. But then his hand wrapped around yours. He made you press your palm against his burning skin.

His deep brown eyes were screaming ‘You’re enough’. And for once you believed it.

-----

“There is one more thing I want to do tonight” Hyunjin told you.

The fresh breeze had replaced the smell of sweat and alcohol and all kinds of filthy things, as you exited the night club. The dew was already glistening on the blades of grass of the neighboring lawns, like thousands of diamonds. The dark sky, blurred by the morning mist, was just starting to lighten, turning shades of lilac and mauve. The sunrise would be soon, but the streetlights were still on, leading the way. The teenagers that were kicked out of the club looked lost and disoriented as if they had just regained consciousness after an endless dream, stumbling in the city streets at 6 in the morning on a Sunday.

Your makeup was smudged under your eyes, accentuating the dark shadows due to the lack of sleep. Your hair was a mess and your cheekbones red. Yet, the way you were looking at him, eyes sparkling with curiosity, made you look adorable.

“Which way is the ocean?” he asked you.

You cocked your eyebrow in confusion but pointed your thumb to your right anyways, giving up on guessing what he had in mind. He grabbed your hand, his fingers naturally intertwining with yours, and started to run in the direction you indicated, slaloming between the hangover teens.

Not once had he gone to see the ocean since he had arrived here. The loneliness had paralyzed him all this time. But now that you were by his sides, he had the strong urge to feel the sea spray on his face, the sand between his toes. To feel alive after all these days of numbness. And share this feeling with you.

He had to drag you for a few meters before you finally picked up the pace. The further you got away from the night club, the more the streets were deserted, the only living presences you encountered at this hour being stray cats searching for something to eat in the dumpsters.

“Wait” you faintly protested as you were already gasping for air after a few minutes of running.

“We have to hurry before the sun comes up” he told you, holding your hand a little tighter to give you some courage.

-----

When your Doc Martens finally sunk in the humid sand, your lungs were on fire and your heart was about to burst out of your ribcage. The slender boy did not let you catch your breath though. As you were bent in two, hands resting on your weakened knees and chest heaving, you saw Hyunjin taking off his shirt and his muscle tee out of the corner of your eye.

Taken aback by his sudden boldness, you stood back up abruptly. The way Hyunjin smirked at you made you realize you were staring a bit too obviously at his defined torso. You felt your face becoming even hotter when he pulled down his jean shorts. Once he threw his beat-up converse in the sand, only his blue boxers were left. Never in your life a boy’s behavior had made you this flustered.

As your brain was trying to register what was happening, your started to stutter foolishly. But Hyunjin did not leave you the time to ask what the hell he was doing, already sprinting to the ocean. In an instant, the crashing waves swallowed him whole. You tried to catch a glimpse of him, but the foam formed by the sea’s eddies were making it impossible for you to distinguish his figure.

You did not know what took over you, probably the same unknown feeling that pushed you to dance in a filthy club, but here you were undressing hastily on a deserted beach at dawn. You ignored the shivers that traveled down your spine and the goosebumps that were appearing on your legs as you took off your shorts. You kept your large t-shirt on, not brave enough to show your whole body to him. You knew your courage would falter if you took too long to enter the cold water, so you ran and dove, headfirst.

The water felt like liquid ice against your skin, wrapping every inch of you, hugging you dearly. Your whole body went numb. If it wasn’t your stinging cuticles that were raw from the constant biting of your nails, you would have forgotten you were even made out of flesh. Forgotten that your existence did not just consist of a tired soul floating around aimlessly in the limbo. At last, everything felt so serene and at peace.

Ever since you learned how to swim, you had always loved the ocean. The feeling it procured you was still unrivaled to this day. It was better than alcohol, better than drugs, better than sex. Underwater, everything would stop for a moment. Your heartbeat would start to slow down, to the point you weren’t sure you were still alive. Your eyes would cease to see, and your ears would cease to hear. The whole world would go quiet. Those minutes of nothingness were all you wished for. They left you craving for more. But as the years went by, the beach wasn’t the refuge it used to be anymore. It slowly became a place of deep insecurities and social obligations. You stopped going, always declining your friends’ invitations. Only now were you realizing how much you missed the ocean’s embrace.

When your lungs screamed in need of oxygen, you reluctantly swam back to the surface. The void the water left in your heart was immediately filled by Hyunjin’s smile.

“You’re crazy” you told him between two waves, your hands flailing around to keep your head over the troubled water. He beamed at you and you thought you could die happy right now, with the picture of his radiant face in mind.

You both let yourselves float on your backs, the water gently rocking you. The sun was peeking shyly on the horizon, like the flame of an old lighter, gradually turning the shades of blue and mauve into hues of orange and pink. You noticed the faint shadow of the moon, not wanting to leave just yet. Ribbons of golden clouds were now decorating the pale sky. The sea was no longer an abyss of dark blue, but now an infinite expanse of liquid gold, as the sun rays were dancing over its surface.

You were overwhelmed by such beauty, on the verge of tears. You weren’t sure if you had actually started crying or if your cheeks were just wet because of the ocean’s water. The memory of the last last time you watched the sunrise by the sea with your family came back. Your parents were still together at that time and your brother hadn’t left town to go study far away yet. Everything was so simple back then. You used to be so happy, so carefree, so eager. You thought you would never be able to feel this way ever again. You thought the best moments of your life were already behind you.

But Hyunjin proved you wrong. For the first time in years, you didn’t regret yesterday nor fear tomorrow. You didn’t think about the stupid shit you did at a party last year nor what you were going to do with your boring degree once you graduated. You didn’t wish time away, finally savoring the moment. You felt so alive by his side.

You didn’t know how long you were floating, watching silently the sky changing colors. Minutes, hours, months, years, an eternity had passed. When you finally got back on your feet, your fingers were all pruned. As you were about to get out of the water, Hyunjin grabbed your wrist. “There’s one last thing I want to do tonight” he told you.

“It’s not nighttime anymore,” you teased him.

But Hyunjin did not seem to be in the mood to joke around. The way he was staring at you so intensely made your chest ache in apprehension. He pulled gently on your wrist to bring you closer. So close you were able to see the droplets of water that clung onto his long eyelashes. The sunrise had turned his deep brown eyes into cognac-colored ones, shades of orange and amber tinting his irises. His tan skin was glowing, and you couldn’t help but wonder if he was really a human or an otherworldly creature. Your breath hitched in your throat that had suddenly gone dry.

“Alright,” you said, in a voice that was quieter than you expected. You cleared your throat, trying to regain your composure. “But I swear to god, Hyunjin, if you ask me to jump off a cliff I - “

You were cut off by his plump lips, pressing softly against yours. Hyunjin kissed you tenderly, carefully, as if you were made of crystal. He tasted like salt and vodka, like holidays and sunshine. At this moment, you felt whole, complete. But he pulled away only seconds after, much to your dismay. His expectant eyes found yours. He seemed to be waiting for a response that would hopefully calm his nerves.

You wanted to scream ‘what were you waiting for all this time?’ but instead you just kissed him back, craving the feeling of his mouth on yours so badly. Your hands trailed up his shoulder and cupped his cheeks. The kiss grew more intense as his arm wrapped around your waist, pulling you harder against his damp skin. Heat bloomed in the pit of your stomach, spreading ineluctably to the rest of your body. Hyunjin’s prior hesitation was long gone. His lips moved urgently, kissing you so hard you would have probably lost your balance if he wasn’t holding you this tight.

Your fingers pulled on his hair tie to free his bleached strands. You were finally able to run your fingers through his wet hair. You had been dying to do so all evening. You couldn’t help but tug slightly at the rough ends. You thought your heartbeat couldn’t get any faster until a soft moan escaped his lips, sending you over the edge.

Your head was spinning endlessly. Your mind was monopolized by the thought of him. Every bit of your sanity was out the window. You loved his blond hair that was a little too long. You cherished his delicate nose. You adored his full lips. You treasured the beauty mark under his eye. You worshipped his whole being.

When it all became too much for your body to handle, you reluctantly broke the kiss. You were both panting, breathing the same air as his forehead stayed pressed against yours. His thumb was rubbing slowly against your jaw and you couldn’t help but lean into his soothing touch. He looked so glorious, his eyes half-closed, and his lips swollen, that if you had listened to the mischievous voice in your head you would have devoured him at that very moment. But Hyunjin noticed the goosebumps that had spread across your arms and the way you were shivering. He finally became aware of the freezing waves that kept crashing against your thighs.

“We should go dry off before we catch a cold” he said to you with the sweetest smile, before leading you out of the water, his hand never leaving yours.

Just now did you realize how bad of an idea it had been to swim with your shirt still on. It was clinging onto every inch of your body, the salt making it even more uncomfortable. There was no way it would be dry before several hours, especially with the sun this low on the horizon. Once Hyunjin reached the pile of clothes you left on the sand, he handed you his linen shirt awkwardly and turned around to let you change. You couldn’t help but giggle at his adorable gesture.

You made sure nobody was watching, undressed as quickly as your sticky t-shirt allowed you to and put his shirt on. It was soft against your skin and smelled like his cologne. Hyunjin had taken the opportunity of you turning your back on him to put his tee and shorts back on. You laughed when you realized that he went commando, his dripping boxers still in his hand.

He tried to distract you from his blushing face by letting himself fall to the ground. You joined him, with a loud sigh, stretching you out on the golden sand that had just started to warm up. It was the first time in 24 hours that you were lying down but your eyes wouldn’t close.

“I can’t believe you never asked what my name was and just waited around to know it” Hyunjin laughed, interrupting your daydream.

You rolled on your stomach and leaned on your elbow so that you could look at him. “You didn’t ask what mine was either!” you exclaimed, on the defensive. But his infectious laugh only ringed louder in your ears. “I was stressed out, okay?” you pouted.

“Did I make you flustered?” he smirked.

“Of course, you did!” you said like he had stated the obvious. “It’s not that often that a cute boy comes to the store every single day to buy freaking raspberry popsicles…”

“Maybe I didn’t only come to buy popsicles.”

“Oh really? I would have never thought,” you said ironically.

“Not gonna lie, I was kind of shocked that you finally talked to me” he said while his fingers tucked a piece of hair that was falling over your face behind your ear lovingly.

“Was I that scary?”

“Terrifying” he joked. You rolled your eyes and put his arm around you so that you could rest your head on his chest.

“Okay let’s start all over. Hi, my name is Y/N.” you said sticking out your hand for him to shake.

“Nice to meet you Y/N. My name is Hyunjin. Can we make out now?” he giggled, and you couldn’t help but hit him playfully.

You both grew silent as you admired the sky changing color. You snuggled your face in the crook of his neck, looking for his warmth. You wondered how he was always so warm, how he felt like pure sunshine. You thought you could spend your whole life here, just the two of you, laying on a beach at dawn, listening to his steady heartbeat, him playing with your wet hair. You would have wanted to catch this feeling in a bottle: happiness.

“Summer breaks aren’t so bad after all,” he whispered.

-----

Hyunjin’s shoulder had gone numb a long time ago but he didn’t dare to move, not wanting to disturb such a peaceful sight. You were sleeping, your mouth slightly agape, air coming in and out of it steadily. But when he felt like he would have to be amputated if he stayed like this one more second, he scooped up your head gently to put it on the sand. Unfortunately, your puffy eyes opened as soon as his skin wasn’t in contact with yours anymore, as if your body couldn’t bear to be separated from his.

“What time is it?” you asked groggily, trying to cover your face from the sun that was already a lot higher in the blue sky.

He took his phone out of his pocket, careful not to put any sand on it. “8:47” he said.

“I really gotta go”, you sighed. But you didn’t get up.

You looked so comfortable, laying there, hugged by the warm sand. Your whole body, which used to look lifeless, was now bathing in sunlight. White linen had never looked this good, he thought. The way his shirt was draping over your figure mesmerized him. Your delicate collarbones were peeking right above the collar. He noticed every freckle on your face, every mole on your body, every stretchmark on your hips, every hair on your arms and legs. He loved all of it. He had to repress the urge to caress your skin, too scared he might go crazy if he did.

You finally decided to move, much to Hyunjin’s dismay. You emptied your boots of all the sand that had found its way in them before putting them back on. Hyunjin had never seen someone struggle this much to tie up their laces before. You both managed to stand up, despite the exhaustion and the soreness.

“And I really need some Advil” you said, wincing in pain once you were on your feet. Your head must have been pounding, just like his, after this long night of partying.

“Piggyback ride?” he offered, and you smiled. He collected all your clothes before he let you jump onto his back. You had a hard time doing it, having no strength left in your legs, but after a few attempts and a fit of laughter, Hyunjin managed to hook his arms under your thighs. He took one last look at the turbulent ocean, in order to imprint this moment in his memory, before returning to the streets.

You acted like a GPS, indicating him the fastest way to get to the closest subway station. He had never seen a GPS be this confused though: you were changing your itinerary every two seconds and he was starting to wonder if you really knew were you were going. But the ways your arms were wrapped around his shoulders, your breath was caressing his cheeks and your hair was tickling his neck were totally making up for how exhausted he felt from carrying you for so long.

Once you finally reached the subway entrance after this long journey, he let you get down. Your hurtled down the stairs as you heard the loud screeching of the train getting closer.

As expected on a Sunday morning, the car was almost empty, so you easily found two seats. You let your head fall onto Hyunjin shoulder.

He couldn’t help but think about your previous ride. About how different it felt. About how world-weary you used to seem as you were staring out the window. It had only happened 12 hours earlier, but it seemed like eternity had passed since.

Sure, you still looked tired. But it was now a different kind of tiredness. The one that inevitably came after the excitement. The one you were trying so hard to fight not to miss any second of what the universe had planned for you. The one that was making you grin from ear to ear even though your eyelids were getting heavier. The one that meant you were still alive.

“I think this is my station,” you suddenly told him, interrupting his sweet reverie.

You got up in a hurry and as your body got away from his, Hyunjin felt like someone had ripped off a part of him. You grabbed your still dripping shirt with the tips of your fingers. You stood up before him for a second, your expression unreadable, before making your way to the already opening doors.

But just before you reached them, you stopped dead in your tracks as if you had forgotten something. You walked back to Hyunjin and leaned in to press a chaste kiss on his lips. A goodbye kiss that tasted so sweet. Your hand caressed his jaw soflty and he couldn’t help but notice how your skin was a little warmer than the usual.

The beeping of the doors startled the both of you. You rushed out just in time, giggling like a child. His heart broke a little when the doors closed behind you. You stayed on the platform while the train was leaving, waving your hand at Hyunjin. You looked like an angel in his white shirt that was fluttering in the wind, grinning candidly from ear to ear.

He did not know then it would be the last time he saw you.

You didn’t come to work on Monday and Hyunjin left for Seoul on Tuesday.

He didn’t know your number nor your address.

He didn’t even know your last name.

All the sudden, it seemed like you never existed. All he had left was the memory of you and surely this memory, one day, will become so old that Hyunjin himself will doubt of its reality, without any other witness to confirm it. He will probably think you were a creation of his lonely mind, a dream, a mirage.

Who will even believe him when he would tell his first love story?

But there was one thing he was sure of. He will never forget the look on your face.

Never forget how you finally seemed happy.

#stray kids #stray kids scenarios #stray kids fic #stray kids fluff #hyunjin fic #hyunjin fluff #stray kids imagines #hwang hyunjin #stray kids au #hyunjin au #stray kids fanfic #hyunjin fanfic #hyunjin scenario #kpop fanfic #i have literally no idea how youre supposed to tag your fics help

199 notes · View notes

tirednotflirting · 4 years

Text

just take it easy (hold onto this feeling)

idk what this is mostly but we got to hear luke sing for the first time in a long time and then this just kinda happened. idk if the title is exactly fitting but it was the song that started playing in my head while i was writing. so there ya go.

in a very typical sam fashion, it is 1.6k with exactly one line of dialogue. so.

here’s baby’s first lashton since november

and here it is on ao3

Luke had really grown to love the quiet.

It wasn’t something he was used to. After spending the better part of the last decade of his life on stages and in studios, singing for seas of people wider than he could ever really imagine, the silence that came with the break in everything had been almost deafening. The pause that the world was sitting on had felt like slamming on the brakes too hard and his chest hurt like he was being thrown forward against his seatbelt. The band had provided what felt like endless opportunity, like wide open spaces that he was free to explore and discover. Early on, the new normal they had all had to adjust to felt like getting trapped inside a box and as thankful as he was to have a moment to breath, it felt like the air had been sucked out of the room.

The summer made him restless. He ached for the feeling of a breeze through his hair as he ran around a stage or to look to stage right and left and find Michael and Calum jumping and running and smiling with him. He missed meeting kids and hearing their stories in front of hotels and airports. He missed hugs and silly faces and hearing how the words that got him through his own heartbreaks helped so many others do the same.

It didn’t take long for him to realize the spiraling hurricane of sound on social media wasn’t going to help. If anything, sitting in his living room with his thumbs scrolling marathon lengths across his screen was probably making it worse. Every other part of his job had been put on hold, stuck frozen in a world that didn’t allow flights across the globe or the roar of a crowd, so he figured, what’s the harm in deleting a couple boxes staring coldly back at him from his phone screen? Encouragement from the boys on the matter helped too, Michael’s promises of keeping him in the know on anything important going on giving him solace in hitting the red text to make the apps vanish.

Late summer brought long, warm days beside the pool with a book in his hand and Petunia’s head in his lap. It brought Facetime calls to his mom to ask how to cook different meals he remembered from before his childhood was cut a bit short and to make sure he was watering his fruit trees the correct amount. Without even realizing it, the buzz of silence that had set him on edge for so many months began to lower in volume as the temperature dropped just enough to call it autumn in California. As he traded rolled down windows for sweaters on trips to the grocery store, the noise faded to nothing. Life was slower and Luke found himself enjoying it, appreciating it even.

It’s on a cooler morning in early November when he wakes up and hears a melody. It startles him awake, this new, beautiful song playing through his mind for the first time in months. He stumbles out of bed, pushes his glasses up his nose, and grabs his phone and the guitar gathering dust beside his window. He sits cross-legged on the couch with his voice memos open and recording as he puzzles out the notes playing on a loop in his head. Eventually, Petunia wanders out to join him once she deems it an appropriate time to be awake and gives him a confused look from her spot on the floor beside where he stands above her. He leans down and scratches behind her ears, a bright smile on his face as he whispers to his companion who can’t answer back.

“I think it’s gonna be a good one, sweetheart.”

It’s not the first time it happens. By the time it’s cool enough that he needs to throw on a sweater and socks before stepping out onto the patio with his morning coffee, Luke has a collection of sweet songs to play around with in the moments in between the serene silence he’s welcomed in over the last several months like a long lost friend. He writes words for feelings and thoughts he never knew how to describe before. For the first time he doesn’t feel selfish knowing that what he’s working on isn’t meant for anyone else. He feels a joy in playing and singing for no one but himself (and maybe Petunia) to hear. It feels like keeping a secret, something he hasn’t been able to do for most of his growing up. It’s exciting in a way he hasn’t experienced before.

He’s watching the sun set over his hushed Los Angeles on a warm day in the middle of winter. If he closes his eyes and focuses on the last bits of sun warming his skin, he can almost believe he’s back in Australia. His mom had mentioned it was a cooler day on their call earlier in the afternoon. She updated him on the new tricks his dad had taught the dog and thanked him for flowers he had sent her as a thank you for the care package she had sent full of his favorite candies he still couldn’t find a way to get in the US.

As his blue eyes watch the sky turn from orange and pink to a dark indigo as dusk settles over the city he takes a deep breath and lets it out slowly, his mind counting the inhale and exhale like how he would before taking the stage every night with the boys. The world beyond his patio and string of news updates he turned off the notifications for again in December is anything but quiet and calm. But from here, in the last moments before day becomes night, Luke feels okay. He feels alright. He closes his eyes as he feels the warmth of the day lift from his skin and lets the quiet wash over him again.

It’s only a few moments later he hears the familiar sound of the sliding door push open and the pattering of Petunia’s paws on the deck as she approaches him. His eyes blink open when the light over the patio is flipped on and he smiles lazily at the dog. She takes her normal spot in front of Luke’s feet and lets her head rest against his knee, her big eyes looking up at him in a silent beg for pets.

He hears the door slide closed again and a moment later the seat beside him is occupied and he feels a kiss against his hair. He smiles at the feeling, the warmth lost from the sunshine replaced by a blush across his cheeks as he reaches for Ashton’s hand with his free one. Luke lifts the hand to his lips before dropping his head to rest against Ashton’s shoulder, shuffling a bit closer to steal away a bit of his warmth as a slight breeze picks up.

It had taken Luke a while to figure it out, what it was that made the silence more of a comfort rather than something to fear. He’s sure it’s something more abstract, since he can’t really find the words to describe it, but he’s also pretty sure it lines up somewhat well with when he asked Ashton to come stay with him. Luke’s mind wandered too much to really meditate but he figures his evening rituals of catching up on the day with Ashton under the dull yellow patio light must be a similar experience to whatever Ashton had when he started his days doing yoga in the backyard on Facetime with Calum. Eventually, the daily tradition shifted into whatever it was they were doing now, sitting under the nighttime sky, the only sounds to accompany them being the windchime his neighbor had on the front porch or the cars driving up and down his street.

Some days still felt heavy and noisy despite the rhythmic, quiet nature of their living right now. In the evenings on those days, Luke would press himself closer to Ashton and focus on the rising and falling of his chest and the beating of his heart. He would count his breaths and hum at the feeling of a hand playing with his grown out bleached curls until he was able to figure out what it was that was bothering him. And then they would puzzle and talk their way through whatever it was until the tension left Luke’s shoulders and neck and he would press kisses to Ashton’s cheeks to make him laugh.

He knows it’s not going to last forever. That one day the world will start turning like normal again and the seas of smiling faces will gather back together and the electric buzz of running around on a stage with the boys he loves most in the world will return. He’ll be away from home long enough that he forgets where he keeps the can opener and the code to his garage. He’ll have to pat makeup below his eyes to look more awake than he feels and he’ll have to be reminded of what city they’re in at least three times before he goes on stage so he doesn’t yell out the wrong one.

For now though, he has the chilly California winter breeze blowing through his hair and his warm, smiling boy holding him against his chest. And even though it doesn’t feel like the world is turning, the very last moments of daylight are fading away and it reminds Luke that it is. And for now, that’s enough.

#lashton #lashton fic #this might be shit but i was able to write lashton for the first time in months and wanted to share it

27 notes · View notes

willowbird · 4 years

Note

Hi! How are you??? Congrats on 100 sweets!

For the prompt thingy can you write some Andrew and Kevin being best friends and shit (maybe Neil as well... idk) but yeah. please. Thank you<3

Oh! You want Kevin and Andrew going apple-picking and Andrew being his wingman? That’s what you said, right? Right? (also thank you thank you thank you!)

This one got a little bit long again, sorry friends. Rather read it on AO3? None of my formattings transferred over so if you want the full effect of how often I use italics (a lot, it’s a lot, like -- it’s excessive I’m sorry) then you might wanna click the link. Otherwise!! Enjoy :)

-----

The rusticly decorated archway had a worn sign that proclaimed 'Welcome to Sonny Acres Farm!' far too cheerfully. Andrew looked up at it in disdain and then landed his judgemental stare the reason he was here in the first place.

Kevin was too used to the glare to be affected by it. "It has good reviews," he explained, like that was anywhere close to being a valid excuse for dragging him out here. The sun was warm but the breeze was mild, the fresh scent of autumn leaves made just a bit sweeter by the hint of apples. It was ten in the morning, the world was quiet but alive, and Andrew was disgusted by how fucking beautiful it was.

"Right." Andrew didn't know why Kevin had wanted to come to this place so badly, but he was sure it had nothing to do with the reviews. First of all, why the fuck was he looking at reviews anyway? Why the fuck would anyone want to go apple picking of all things? When Andrew had asked these perfectly reasonable questions, Kevin had been annoyingly evasive.

'Are you coming or aren't you?' he'd snapped instead of giving a straight answer, already getting flustered. As if it weren't already glaringly obvious that he was hiding something. Which of course meant that Andrew had agreed to go, if only to see what the fuck this was really all about.

"So are we just going to stand here, or…?" Andrew raised a single eyebrow at his distressingly tall best friend, mostly because he knew how much it irritated him.

Since it looked like Kevin was still preparing himself for something, and Andrew was getting impatient, he only gave him a moment to respond before shrugging and striding forward. He passed under the sign and followed the path to the building closest to the parking lot they'd just come from, not bothering to look back and see if the Abominable Anxiety was following or not. The building revealed itself to be a shop, selling everything from Sonny Acres merch like t-shirts and tote bags to baskets of apples and just about every apple-themed product you could imagine. Apple sauce, apple butter, apple candy, apple pies. Apple soap, apple shampoo, apple lotion. Apple plates, apple dresses, apple earrings, apple apples.

(No, literally, there was a statue thing that was a large apple… made out of smaller apples.)

Also, four shelves of different kinds of apple candles. Andrew wasn't sure whether to be disturbed or impressed.

The bell on the door chimed behind him before he could make up his mind and he looked behind him to see Kevin entering. Andrew looked him dead in the eye and made a slow, simple gesture at the shop, keeping his expression deadpan.

Unaffected, because he was a bastard, Kevin dared to just roll his eyes and walked past Andrew without comment. He walked through the shop to the check-out counter at the back, looking around like some kind of lighthouse-wannabe giraffe man until he came to stand before it. He stood there awkwardly for a moment before knocking on the surface and clearing his throat.

"Uh… hello?"

Andrew continued to look around the shop, discovering a new apple-themed bit of nonsense with each scan of his eyes. His brain was beginning to hurt. He didn't look over at the desk through the shuffle of the clerk or whoever coming out at Kevin's call and didn't really register their greeting in return. He did snap his attention in that direction at Kevin's response though, which was a stammering, awkward, "Oh, hey… yeah. Hi. Apples."

Andrew watched with instant understanding as the veritable catastrophe played out before him. It was a fucking train wreck and Andrew had never been more glad to be at a place called Sonny Acres in his entire fucking life. Kevin hadn't stopped talking. It was like he couldn't, and it just kept getting so much worse which meant it kept getting so much better. Andrew thought about coming to his rescue, he really did.

"I mean, there are apples here. Of course there are apples. I mean, apples to pick. I came to pick your apples - oh God not YOUR apples! The apples that you grow at the farm. On the farm. On the farm. I promise I understand English grammar."

Oh Kevin. So that's why he's been unable to get a straight answer out of him earlier. There was absolutely nothing straight about this little trip to the apple orchard at all.

The not-straight answer in question was several inches shorter than Kevin but still too tall to be trusted. Additionally, he was wearing a sunny, affectionate smile like he did so often, the expression easy and comfortable on his face. There were even dimples in his light brown cheeks. Ridiculous. His hair was curly and bleached to a springy caramel except for the roots, and was held back with a headband that, yup, had apples on it. Objectively, Andrew could see why Kevin was being an absolute disaster over the man. Personally, he liked someone a little less sunshine and a little more lightning bolt. Or he would, if he did relationships, which he didn't. He didn't even think about them, and certainly not regarding the unfairly hot neighbor that lived across the hall from him and Kevin.

Andrew moved forward, jamming his focus back on the two morons in front of him rather than Idiot Who Shall Not Be Named.

Sonny Acres Sunshine laughed at Kevin's antics like he was being charming, his eyes dancing. Yeah, dancing. Sweet fuck. "You're a riot Kev."

"Yeah, Kev is hysterical," Andrew agreed breezily as he stepped up beside him, looking the other man up and down. "Aren't you Kev? A regular John Mulaney this guy. Hysterical." He slapped Kevin on the back harder than necessary and ignored the glare he got in return. The dumbass could thank him later.

Sonny Sunshine grinned at him. "You must be his roommate. Andrew, right? I'm Jeremy! He's talked a lot about you. I'm glad you guys came."

"Funny," Andrew deadpanned, studying his own fingernails, "he never mentioned you. Wonder why that is."

"So! Apples," Kevin cut in, apparently feeling pushy today. "Ah, we've never been apple picking or anything. Is there a way we should go about this?"

The process seemed fairly obvious to Andrew, but he let it go.

Jeremy grinned at Kevin, bright and enthusiastic. "I can walk you through it, no problem. You'd be surprised how many people have never been apple picking before."

Somehow Andrew doubted this, but - charitable soul that he was - he let that one go too.

"Really? Fall is supposed to be the time for it though, right?" Kevin attempting to chit-chat was one of the single most pathetic sights Andrew had ever had to witness. It took all his self control not to grimace.

Jeremy didn't seem to notice though. He just kept smiling, watching Kevin talk like -- oh.

Well then, Andrew's role here had just changed. Andrew could practically see the blue, purple, and pink hearts dancing around his roommates head. Idiot. Ah well, if they were going to do this, they may as well do this.

Andrew sighed heavily. "Maybe you could just come with us? Kevin owes me a home-made apple pie and I will not suffer subpar apples."

The look of annoyance Kevin shot him morphed quickly to gratitude the second he realized what Andrew was doing.

Jeremy was oblivious.

"Sure thing! It'd be my pleasure." Andrew didn't miss the way Jeremy looked directly at Kevin as he said that, because clearly neither of these idiots understood subtly. That was fine. It made his job easier. More amusing, too.

Jeremy asked them to give him a moment to recruit something called an 'Alvarez' to watch the shop for him then left them alone, disappearing into the back room.

As soon as he was gone, Andrew dropped a heavily judgemental stare on Kevin. This one had significantly more effect and Andrew was pretty enough to feel smug about that. He let the silence stretch until Kevin visibly strained with how hard he was trying not to squirm. Then and only then did he sigh and release him, granting a benevolent shrug as he strolled lazily around shop, trailing his fingers over the apple merchandise.

"So," he said, "Jeremy."

"What about him?" God, it was like he wasn't even trying. Andrew gave him a look and Kevin sighed. His shoulders sagged as he accepted defeat and Andrew basked in sweet victory.

"He's just perfect, alright? He's smart, and athletic, and adorable, and perfect, and sweet, and hilarious, and when he suggested I come see the orchard…" Kevin drifted off, like no other explanation was needed. For once, he was right.

"For the record, I fully expect an apple pie out of this." Andrew picked up an apple-shaped snow globe with an apple tree inside it that had miniature apples floating about in place of snow. He shook it and watched the apples spin and cloud around in a murder-red blur for a moment before he looked up at Kevin. "Also, you are buying the ice cream."

Kevin sighed but didn't argue. "What am I supposed to do? I've been out of the dating sphere for a while."

"Kevin you were never in the dating sphere." Kevin's 'dating' experience included mostly a lot of pining and one actual relationship with a girl who had gotten pissed at him for being abused by his shit family. Yeah. Andrew didn't tell Kevin what to do, but he could lay ground rules that the bitch wasn't permitted at their apartment. He also corrected Kevin every time he said her name by muttering 'Traitorous Bitch' until Kevin finally saw reason and broke up with her.

"You aren't being helpful." My, someone was whiny today.

Andrew set down the snow globe. "Want my advice?"

"Yes!"

"Offer to suck his cock."

"Andrew!" Kevin looked so scandalized one would think a nineteenth-century rake had just asked him to bare his ankles.

Andrew rolled his eyes. "Just be up-front with him, Kev. You like him, tell him. Be honest about what you want, ask him what he wants. Talk about it. Take it from there."

"What if I embarrass myself?!"

"Then you embarrass yourself." Andrew shrugged and scooped up an apple-shaped hackysack. He tossed it into the air a few times then grabbed another and tossed them back and forth. "What is the worst that could happen? Mr. Sunshine says 'no thanks'?"

Kevin scowled at him. "Yeah, and then refuses to ever even look at me again."

Andrew scooped up a third applesack (hackyapple?) and adjusted his rhythm before he landed his judgement back on Kevin. "If he never speaks to you again just for being honest with him then he isn't worth your time to begin with." He stared at Kevin for several revolutions of his pattern, the schick of the hackyapples hitting and leaving his palms the only sound in the shop.

Predictably, Kevin was the one to look away first. Andrew gave him a moment and added a fourth hackyapple to the pattern.

"I really like him…" Kevin finally said, his voice low.

"Clearly," Andrew agreed without sympathy. "Look, you have two choices here Day. You can do something about it, or you could do nothing about it, and let me tell you - pining is not a good look on you."

The overgrown ear of corn muttered something like "Speak for yourself" and then yelped as Andrew smoothly nailed him in the forehead with a hackyapple (those things had just the perfect heft to them).

"What was that?" Andrew asked nonchalantly, smoothly dropping into the three-pattern.

"I said, speak for your-- ow! Stop that!"

Andrew gave him an innocent look.

"Oh cool! You can juggle?" Jeremy's sunny voice cut in before Kevin could attempt to say something stupid again. Andrew looked over and abruptly dropped his hands to his sides, letting the applesacks hit the ground with soft whacks.

"Nope." Andrew shrugged, picking up the apple-globe again and shaking it as Kevin grumbled and scooped up the fallen hackyapples.

Jeremy chuckled like he'd just made a joke and lifted up three honest-to-fuck baskets with little gingham clothes lining the insides to protect the apples. One was red, one was green, and one was blue. Andrew sighed and held his hand out for one, the just stared at Jeremy when he was offered first the red, then the blue, before taking the green one that was rightfully his. "Kevin likes red," was all he said.

"Yeah?" Jeremy looked at Kevin and smiled as he offered him the red basket. "That's perfect then, blue is my favorite. At least of the baskets. I also like green," he volunteered, looking into Kevin's green eyes.

Sickening, this was truly sickening.

"Yeah, green," Kevin offered eloquently.

Andrew watched as Jeremy nudged the tall idiot and just barely managed not to shake his head in disdain. He did snort his amusement when he caught Kevin watching Jeremy's ass as the man led them out of the shop through a side door near the back by the desk. The door took them right out to a path that led directly into the orchard. Andrew gave Kevin a pointed shove and made a meaningful gesture for him to catch up with the object of his affection. Kevin scowled at him, but did as instructed because he knew Andrew was right. Because Andrew was always right.

As it turned out, apple picking wasn't as terrible as Andrew had thought it would be. Getting to watch his best friend trip over himself on a constant loop served to be excellent entertainment for the day. He also got to covertly vet this guy that Kevin was so stupid over and as far as he could tell, Jeremy Knox was exactly what he appeared to be. He laughed at Kevin's terrible attempts at humor, was actually able to keep up with him when the conversation turned to the misrepresentation of American History in public schools, and Andrew counted at least thirty-seven times over the course of their little apple picking extravaganza where Jeremy found an excuse to touch Kevin. They weren't invasive touches, nothing gross or grabby or anything, but they were telling. Jeremy was always adjusting the basket he was holding or touching his arm or his hand or picking a leaf out of his hair or -- well, yeah. It was gross.

For his part, Andrew hung back and let the two idiots moon over each other, occasionally joining the conversation whenever Kevin shot him desperate looks or the topic deserved his input.

By the time they were done, Andrew was half-expecting an invitation to the nuptials.

"Hey, this was really great. I'm glad you decided to come by," Jeremy said as he packed their apples into white paper back with smiling little apple-people on them. "Both of you, of course," he amended unconvincingly with only a small glance to Andrew before giving his undivided attention to Kevin again.

"Of course. Yeah! This was amazing. With the apples. And you." Dear Jesus.

Andrew gave Kevin a swift kick to the shin and just stared at him when the man winces and glared down at him. He tried to laser the instruction 'Ask him out you nimrod' directly into his stupid brain and it must have worked because when Kevin finished his silent hissy fit he turned to Jeremy with an apologetic smile and said, "We should do this again."

Andrew kicked him again, because that wasn't good enough.

"I mean! Without the apples. Not that I don't like apples, Andrew ow! Cut it the fuck out!"

Andrew heaved a sigh and threw up his hands, turning to go find those hackyapples. You try to help a guy…

Jeremy was chuckling by the time Kevin turned back to him. Andrew watched out of the corner of his eye as the cheerful orchard-tender placed a hand over Kevin's on the counter. He couldn't see Kevin's face from the angle he was at but he was sure it was as red as some of those fucking apples they'd picked.

"I'd really like that," Jeremy said more quietly.

"M-me too," stammered Kevin with the utmost class.

Pleased with himself, Andrew scooped up a handful of the hackyapples and made his way back to the counter to purchase them. Because he was feeling charitable, he said nothing about the dopey-ass grin on Kevin's face as they gathered up their apples and left. He didn't even comment on the way the dumbass was legitimately humming when they got into the car -- because he was a supportive and generous friend.

That generosity lasted all the way back home. They were just getting to their apartment and Andrew was holding both bags of apples so Kevin could unlock the door when Kevin suddenly stopped and looked down the hall toward the stairs they'd just climbed. Then he lifted his hand in a wave and said, "Oh, hey Neil."

Shit shit shit shit shit!

Andrew glared at the back of Kevin's head, willing him to open the goddamn fucking door.

"Kevin, hey. Andrew? What've you got?" Unable to ignore him now that he'd been directly addressed, Andrew turned slowly and stared blankly as Neil-fucking-Josten came to stand right in front of him. He was wearing a lightly curious smile on his stupid face, one that pulled up on just the one side of his mouth and revealed just the shadow of what might be a dimple if the infuriating man were to smile any deeper. What was even more offensive was the way his eyes reflected the light so that they looked like a celestial sea, stars within stars staring back at him, tempting him with all the things he didn't want to want.

Not only that, but Neil must be just coming back from a run because he was lightly flushed and the pink that clung to his cheeks, throat, and ears made Andrew’s brain do a thing resembling an old-fashioned VCR when you attempted to rewind a tape while it was still playing -- streaks of static breaking up what should be comprehensible. His wild auburn curls were pulled back with a garishly orange bandana but that only meant there was nothing in the way of his eyes.

His eyes...

He must have been silent for too long because Neil peered into the bags he was holding. “Oh, hey -- apples.” That curious little smile softened and spread slightly as he looked up at him again.

Andrew said, “Apples.”

“I love apples,” Neil said.

Andrew said, “Apples.” Because he was that fucking smooth.

Kevin coughed behind him and Andrew tore his gaze away from Neil’s stupidly pretty face, glaring down into the bags of apples.

“You should take some,” Kevin offered. “We have more than we need. I’m going to look up how to make an apple pie later too, if you want any.”

“Really? Thanks.” Neil flashed a cheeky grin at Kevin then looked to Andrew. “Can I?”

Andrew said, “Apples.” This time though, he also nodded and attempted to angle the bags so that Neil could reach in a pick out a few. He was sure the other man could hear the way his heart was playing his ribcage like a xylophone as he leaned in so damn fucking close to examine the apples that Andrew could see how criminally long his eyelashes were. Then he was pulling away with his prize, three smallish apples and one large one.

He held them up and nodded. “Thanks for the apples. See you later for the game, Kevin?”

Andrew nodded mutely and Kevin grunted an affirmative, and then Neil was gone, vanishing into the apartment across the hall. Andrew stared at the closed door for a moment then turned toward their own apartment. Kevin was standing there with a smug look on his fucking face.

“Apples,” Kevin said conversationally.

“Shut the fuck up Kevin.” Kevin was still cackling when the door shut behind them. Fucking bastard.

#asks #anon #100 followers #kevin day #andrew minyard #aftg #aftg fic #ao3 link #andrew and kevin are best friends #i had like 20 different ideas for this #but I went with this one because i also wanted kevin to go on a date?#andrew makes a good wingman #andrew can juggle!#i don't know why i made him juggle but he just can #hackyapples #its a thing #hashtag hackyapples

12 notes · View notes

thinger-strang · 5 years

Text

no one dies and everyone's gay au

Nancy finds Barb when she gets stuck in the Upside Down when she's in the forest with Jonathan (don't ask me about the logistics) and so Steve ends up finding Jonathan and Barb in Nancy's room? And he's confused because at first he'd just seen Jon and thought Nancy was cheating but then he saw Barb walk into the room? (traumatic sleepover time! except Jon stays on the ground and Barb and Nance cuddle on the bed bc they're best friends and BARB WAS MISSING FOR LIKE TWO DAYS I THINK? she deserves snugs)

But Tommy and Carol started talking about how Nancy was probably sleeping with both, everyone knew Barb was the biggest d*ke in Hawkins, Nancy probably got curious about the other side!

He doesn't necessarily agree but still doesn't stop Tommy from spray painting the theater (because Nancy still lied to him? Lying generally meant there was something? going on? idk Steve's just confused and a little hurt rn)

The rest of the season goes pretty much the same, Barb's just there trying to not die and trying to help the Gang™ find Will and fight this bitch ass demogorgon (I don't think she's really be part of the Nancy and Jonathan luring it to the house and fighting it, she'd help with set up and the plan but I think she'd fuck right off when it comes down to facing it, she's had enough monsters for one life time thx)

But she'd so wanna help get Will out so she's there with Joyce and everyone talking to El while she's in the bath finding Will and talking Hop and Joyce about the Upside Down

(and she's been to the hospital, she didn't get a face sucking monster thing so she recovered quicker? idk don't ask logistics again lmao)

But she and Will end up getting along and sometimes when she's hanging out with Nancy and the party comes over she'll say hi to Will and like ruffle his hair

(also I want a little scene after the big monster hunting trip scene where a) Nancy and Jonathan explain everything to Steve and b) where Steve sees Barb again and pulls her into the biggest hug and starts like apologizing for not paying attention that night and for letting her get taken and even though she assured him it wasn't his fault he still feels guilty about it, it was his house, he should have helped her bandage her hand or something? idk but this right here is the beginning of the Barb/Steve friendship and the start of the "fall of King Steve")

cue s2

and so the four get really close, Jonathan and Steve are actually friends (idk what s2 was pulling but they're friends) and Barb talks to Nancy about Steve and Jonathan and Nancy ends up breaking up with Steve way earlier (bc you know none of that drama would have happened if Barb was there so)

But they're all still good friends, Steve's cool about the break up, and Nancy and Jonathan get together but it's not like right after? so it's all chill and they all went through a dramatic experience together so they remain close knit yeah

and Barb eventually comes out to them (everyone's supportive obviously) and Steve's is ready to throw down with anyone for her

cue Billy

the four of them are sizing up the new guy, Nancy doesn't really care, Jonathan thinks his hair is a little ridiculous (which I mean, that first day? when he steps out of the Camaro? yeah it was a lil rough), Barb can see right through his macho bullshit, and Steve? has a little bi meltdown. bc this kid has definitely had boy crushes before and knows he likes both (kid listens to queen of course he knew he was bi lmao)

blah blah blah s2 happens, Barb, Steve, and Billy have the same English class and Billys generally quiet during school, kinda stand-off-ish, only really bugs people during gym/basketball, but he literally sits in the back and does absolutely nothing during class and still somehow has the highest grade

(FUCK him and Barb get paired for a project and she fucking calls him out? like she's just like you're gay I'm lesbian you can cut the crap around me and they become...not friends? but they have solidarity, they're cool)

and I'm a slut for this trope but BILLY FIGHTS DEMODOGS WITH THEM lmao he hears Max sneak out and follows her and finds her in the junkyard armouring up a bus with fucking Harrington and a couple of nerds? and like the sun is setting and he needs to get Max home so he's like "Maxine! I don't know what the fuck this is and I don't fucking care, we gotta go!" and the four are like yelling at him to either leave or get in the bus! and he's so confused, I'm not here to play games Max! and Steve's running out of the bus with a FUCKING NAIL BAT WHAT THE FUCK HARRINGTON? And Steve's like behind you! and swings at a demodog. Billy has a borderline panic attack before he finds like a fender or exhaust pipe or whatever and starts swinging too

the dogs run away and Billy rounds onto Steve like what the living shit was that? and Steve has to explain everything with Dustin and Lucas interrupting and Max shrugging and trying to understand too? it's a mess

s2 continues with Billy and with HOPPER NOT BEING ABLE TO STAND HIM bc he's caught him speeding and underage drinking and shit and Billy's nervous as hell around cops which makes him mouthy and ITS A MESS

they're all at Joyce's (Barb's there too bc Will's possessed and they need to check up on her too? and she's concerned for Will anyway yeah she's in this too) and El shows up and Steve and Billy are just like what? another one? who the fuck? like Steve heard about her but this isn't a tiny child without hair??? idk it's funny

BILLY WITH AN AXE IN THE TUNNELS

(obviously Steve isn't passed out and the kids don't drive the car, it's Billy's awful impulse control that leads to them going into the tunnels)

okay I couldn't decide where to put Barb here? so I left her with Steve and Billy to babysit and she ends up in the tunnels too? and she's def handling it better than the boys are fuck yeah

Steve has his bat and is in front and Billy found an axe in the pile of shit from the Byers' shed and he pulls up the end

it's awesome

yada yada Steve and Billy end up becoming weirdly good friends by the end and he's good with him and Barb, idk about Nance and Jon but eh

s3 now

Billy ends up getting two jobs; lifeguard and cook at Benny's (bc he's alive too, fight me bitches this is the ultimate fix it) and Barb ends up working as a waitress there too (and working together builds the weirdest bonds so they are besties now)

everything in s3 is pretty much the same but with diner scenes too? and like all the Hawkins moms swarm Benny's too and leave lipstick stains on their kitchen tips and "send my compliments to the chef *wink*"

Billy eats it up but Barb can tell he also kinda hates it bc he's barely 18 and not even remotely into women and it makes him super uncomfortable but publicly he "loves" it (he starts wearing tank tops to the pool and tries to hide out in the kitchen but it really doesn't work)

he still gets caught up with the mind flayer but it's not bc he's about to sleep with Karen bc ew, idk why he's driving out by the warehouse idk maybe he's out on a drive bc he can't sleep yeah

anyway he gets caught up but like he knows, or kind of knows, what this is and calls in sick to both jobs and talks to Hopper bc WHAT THE FUCK isn't the gate closed? I got face fucked my an interdimensional monster so unless you know where the fuck that came from?? and they deal with it earlier (most of the shit still happens but it's less...messy? like Hop and Joyce are more involved in the Billy shit and Steve knows about it?)

Steve still gets caught up with the Russians (I don't think he'd have a chance to tell anyone (specifically Hopper) bc he finds out about Billy then the elevator stuff happens like right after and yada yada)

so for most of the season it's them trying to actually help Billy! and they end up saving a lot of people? (specifically Heather bc she was really nice to Billy and I want he to live fight me it's my au)

but enough people get melted and shit that starcourt still get destroyed blah blah blah!

but Billy makes it and so does Hop and Alexie (no one dies au) and they all end up doing the thing in the mall like they did in the shed with Will? like breaking Billy out? Barb talks about working at the diner and their secret and Steve talks about them hanging out and playing basketball and the tunnels and Max talks about Billy buying her a new board and them scream-singing along to ACDC in the Camaro and the kids mention him giving them rides and shit and yeah! El talks about his mom and that's it! Joyce and Hop close the gate while Billy's holding the one arm (he doesn't get stabbed in the chest, as cool as that scar would be, no...but he gets some on his hands and upper arms and his sides?)

(also Billy's drinking like bleach rn so they try and reverse that as much as possible while he's possessed so that he has a better recovery later bc no! chlorine is not good for you! and Billy tries so hard to not drink it but sometimes he can't fucking stop? idk but he has a support system now!)

and Robin came out to Steve and Steve comes out to her too? like kinda? he alludes to it vaguely bc he's so not ready to be out to anyone FUCK

And Billy comes out to Steve (he was planning on doing it earlier that summer but shit happened)

and Robin becomes friends with everyone (ITS ROBIN X BARB HOURS BITCHES)

(OKAY small like side shit? Benny and Hopper have known each other for years and Benny's like one of the only registered foster parents on Hawkins so he ends up fostering a lot of wayward kids while Hop figures out legal stuff (he hasn't adopted anyone yet but him and his husband (yeah Benny's gay deal with it) really want to? they just haven't yet, all the kids they take care of end up in their care temporarily) BUT Hop finds out about Billy and Max's home life (I know a lot of people write that Neil wouldn't hit Max but...nah son not how that works? idk but he needs to get them out? and Neil's bad to Susan too (he's the worst to Billy but still bad to Max and Susan) anyway Hop helps Susan leave Neil (it takes a while and Billy and Max end up with Benny for a little bit while the divorce is going down and all the legal shit yeah it's safer out of the house rn) long story short Billy ends up staying with Benny after everything and ends up getting adopted (they're like we know you're 18 and you don't need a guardian but if you want we can be your dads? and Billys like yeah sure that'd be nice and yeah) Hop ends up being a weird like uncle figure? idk like I said him and Benny are close and they both adopted kids so yeah? and Billy ends up considering El his little sister and he still visits Max and Susan and yeah?)

ANYWAY everything kind of calms down, Hop and Joyce get together (I just realized I forgot about Bob so...idk I guess this isn't an everyone survives au? no no that's weird um idk him and Joyce end up breaking up idk why) but yeah Hop and Joyce get together and like it's kind of fast but they've been in love for a long time so it's kind of fine? like idk but yeah

Barb and Robin get together (ITS FUCKING CUTE they go to aquariums and have paint dates where they sit on some old sheets and paint while listening to Robin's records ITS CUTE!)

STEVE COMES OUT TO EVERYONE! he definitely cries bc fuck he was scared! bc he likes both and he wasn't sure if that was a thing or whatever for a while and Billy's like oh yeah, like David Bowie or Freddie Mercury? and that's when Steve's cries bc oh thank God you guys get it and you're cool with it oh fuck and YEAH

UM Max is bi too, Will comes out as gay (listen I know none of this is like 80's realistic but everyone's gay and alive and happy, fuck off)

Um it takes forever for Billy and Steve to get together, it's awful. like Barb and Robin have to deal with their pining and shit? and like Robin hears about it from Steve at work and Barb hears about it from Billy at the diner and they put their knowledge together and make a Plan ™

it's like elaborate and dramatic (shut up they're all like 18-19) and shit? BUT LMAO okay one day they're all hanging out at Steve's (bc I've also hopped aboard the neglectful parents train sorry) and idk Steve and Billy are there before Robin and Barb are so the girls walk in on them arguing over whatever and like Billy's talking really fast and Steve's talking with his hands and idk what it's about but Billy ends up yelling that he loves him BUT THEY KEEP ARGUING FOR LIKE A SOLID MINUTE AFTER THAT BEFORE IT HITS THEM and Steve gets all quiet and is just like you love me? and Billy doesn't fucking know what to do?? he's like bright red and frozen and Robin and Barb are by the door trying to not like break the spell (bc it's been months guys) and Billy's like of course I do asshole and Robin thinks Steve's about to have a panic attack but he like rushes forward and cups Billy's face and kisses him senseless and it's like the best thing Robin and Barb have ever seen

and they're resting their foreheads together, Steve's still holding Billy's face and Billy has his hands on Steve's chest it's really tender but Robin's like yeah congrats and shit but you guys ruined our Plan™! and she gives them a long ass rundown of their elaborate scheme and Steve and Billy are like still touching and bumping into each other as they listen and Barb interrupts and says that this was better and Robin rolls her eyes but agrees

and they're watching a movie or whatever, cuddling in their respective couples and Steve fucking jumps up randomly and rounds on Billy like hey woah fuck I love you too, I didn't say that earlier! and Billy's looking up at him like yeah I know that asshole and yeah

#okay this is s u p e r long sorry #but also not #harringrove #robin x barb #fix-it #stranger things #the ultimate fix-it #pls ask me stuff about this im so down to ramble about this?#pls #fic #my stuff #also idk how to do keep reading thungs so sorry 😬#also i barely mention nancy jon the kids or the adults #this is about my gay quad #buckland #bobin #my writings

108 notes · View notes

geffenrecords · 4 years

Note

ALRIGHT TELL ME UR OPINIONS ON SANDER OR ILL SHATTER U 💕💕 sorry I cant help myself I’m miss him :(((

ugh fine okay kinnie (no jk thank u for the ask)

favorite thing about them: hmmm. i rlly liked his aesthetic in s3. since he has brown hair now i feel like his Vibes have changed. wear the bleached denim and muted colors now sir. i also like how hes so excited over small things?? like how happy he got in the grocery store when the david bowie song came on, or his small smirk when he watches robbe do things. u know tht robbe could be doing anything n sander would sit there and be like gently watches and smiles cause yknow. gay ppl.

least favorite thing about them: uhm. idk lmao. im not a sander stannie, so like, i dont really focus on him a lot?? im just gonna say how he kissed britt in da club when he and robbe lit rally got gay bashed just the night b4. um. okay sir what the fuck was that.

favorite line: lines ig but when he sang the christmas song with milan

brOTP: i think noor and sander would be good friends?? art shool hoes smh. i think that sander w The Boys has potential, but overall ?? not rlly anyone i can see it with.

OTP: robbe n sander baybie!!! i know ive talked abt how in love they r with you and my moon and sun sobbe rant,,, but i honestly just love their dynamic. s3 was so fucking good i need to rewatch it and also i miss being a skam stannie on main. anyway they both saved each other and they do stupid shit together like walk the streets at night and their breaths are in the air so they blow clouds on each other and then they kiss under the streetlamps and sander points out where they first kissed and robbe says something snarky about how no break-ins tonight and pulls him along and sander does his small smile bc he loves this boy so much

nOTP: um. probably sander and britt. i dont think sander x [someone whos not robbe] is very popular but. i dont like it either.

random headcanon: ummm [thinking emoji].... probably tht he loves the way robbe feels. and i dont mean in a horn knee way, i mean like sander just likes to feel robbe next to him, or he loves the way his littol hands feel in his, how theyre always cold and soft and he kisses them which always makes robbe giggle so then he’ll kiss robbes face and robbe giggles some more and sander does his Smile. he just like holding robbe too. laying on his chest or tummy when he has a big hoodie on or vise versa. idk they just love each other so much what can ya do. ALSO in his first appearance....idk if it was just me but he looked really tan so i hc as like. mixed race maybe????? idk skamverse needs more poc anyway fuck u

unpopular opinion: ummm. i dont think he hates britt. he deff doesnt like her, but i dont think he holds any resentment against her.

song i associate with them: oh jeez.....ummm............fake happy by paramore reminds me of the hotel scenes kinda?? if tht makes sense but ig for just in general....sweather weather by the neighborhood or happy pills by weathers. the boyce avenue cover of glad you came is....very sobbe too.....

favorite picture of them: either one of these

#why was i like er ah um every 3 seconds here #alyssa asks

1 note · View note

paralysis-comic · 5 years

Text

yourocsbackstory week 1: parents

|| @yourocsbackstory ||

gettin this in niiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiice and early. tw for vaguely implied child abuse

Baby Blues Act 1, or Gina Takes A Deep Dive

You’ve come to use the phrase “my dad” interchangeably for them both now.

As always, you’re never sure how confusing it is for anyone who’s not, for example, John or Diane; but you maintain that the word for man who raised you and man who (allegedly) had a part in creating you are, at least in English, one and the same. ‘Stepdad’ sounds a bit…

Uptight?

Stilted?

Crass?

No, you reserve stepdad for teachers and police officers. Or – in times where you feel the need to throw all mention of long-dead folks out the window and focus on the more-recently-dead – when mum’s boyfriend is too many syllables to fit into one conc- ah.

No, no, put it down. No, on the sofa. Now stand up. Never mind if you look like Bambi on the ice, no one’s here. Mum’s at work, Dad’s in America, fuck knows where John is, Dad’s in America, remember? Not identifying bodies, not being questioned, not (FUCK!!!!!!) holding this in front of you.

Now stand up.

Pick it up.

Sit down.

Breathe.

Actually, no, get the other one.

You’ve never properly looked through it.

What did you come here for again?

The first one is a bit tatty. That’s how it’s always been. Black, red corners, looks like a photo album you’d see on TV, like in The Simpsons or something. Wait, isn’t that how something from 90’s America should look?

On the inside cover, a tiny “1980-1999” in the top left corner, a normal-sized “To Mimi & Nate, happy anniversary!!!! love Glad & Atticus” (ugh) and a large cut-out message of general condolence that you never bother to read.

And on the first page, before the album proper, two portrait photos taped in.

On the left, in black and white, a thin teenage boy in a suit, and an old lady in a long dress and headscarf. You flip it up, as careful as you’re physically able. There’s some Russian on the back, then some Welsh in the same handwriting. You know neither. Shit. Fuck– And below it, what looks to be the English counterpart:

Just after Sam’s Bar Mitzvah. Never went to another one. Only photo I’ve got of her. D x

You wish you’d had a Bar Mitzvah. Ceri did, but Auntie Lettice didn’t let you go.

Ceri still keeps asking you why.

You bite your nail. God, if you get this emotional over every one, you’ll be here forever. And you can’t even remember why you got them down in the first place. The one on the right, in full 90’s colour, that’s your dad and some guy you don’t know. No one’s told you about him yet. He’s sitting on your dad’s lap, attempting to drum, like you used to do to Charles. It looks professionally done, like a photo of Queen. Blurry hands in the foreground and all. Oh, you never noticed Cadz there at the piano. Adorable.

Theres a note under it. All in English, thank fuck.

Hello boys, found this when I was rummaging around in Mikey’s room, thought you’d like to have it. Give my love to Althea and the kids. Love from Sue xxx

You have never heard those names in your life, although now you’re never sure what you mean by that. It may well be that you and John (and Beth and Gel and Ronnie and Llew and Renée and Meic (and Hector)) have been sat down and told all of this in great detail. You try not to let the name Sue get in your head. You try and think nice thoughts. You don’t have a lot of nice thoughts at this time of year.

You’re not fussed with most of these. You were once, before the novelty of having one very famous, very dead parent wore off for the second time.

The ones at the beginning, you got bored of those ages ago. There’s only so many times you can see a photo on tumblr and still want to reblog it. @fuckyeahgoosnargh never got back to you when you told her to take them down. You like the way their hair looks — Cadz in pigtails, your dad with a vague approximation of Brian May. Reminds you of you, in a mad way.

Some more early ones. The three of them, the four of them, the funeral, the three of them again.

Then a few from gigs. They don’t impress you much. Sure, Cadz is a serviceable musician – he did give you your first banjo, after all – but as a frontman? Come on. And you wish they’d have focused in on one of the others; between the aggressive drummer with black greasepaint over his eyes (still in a suit, by the way) and the tiny guitarist in drag (think John Travolta, not Ru Paul), you can see why you and John turned out the way you did.

The ones in the graveyard are your favourite. Most of them are in black and white, which you’re not a fan of, but there’s one of the whole band, in colour: your dad, Cadz, the woman with the drawn on eyebrows, that Mikey guy, your other dad (he had drawn on eyebrows as well in those days, and his hair was straightened and slicked back), and some other bloke. He kinda looks like your dad but with real eyebrows. Maybe thats the Uncle Gaylord that Nana was on about. He’s not in any of the other photos. Gotta ask her what happened to him next time you see her. If you see her.

Some of your dad and Auntie Al. You like the one of him in the front doorway with the sun coming through, looking over his shoulder at all the boxes on the floor. You wonder why they split up. You wonder– oh, now you remember why youre here. All the ones of Ronnie and Llew must be in another album. Shit.

The next ones are of him in hospital. You’ve no desire to know what was wrong with him – medical stuff makes you cringe now – but he’s very pale and thin, and so is his hair. He looks way too young to be totally grey, even as haggard as he is. At least, with the curl back in, he doesnt look too dishevelled, if you disregard the missing eyebrows. There were ones of Mikey in hospital earlier, but you skipped past those. You don’t want to think about him anymore.

A lot of magazine and newspaper clippings. You’ve read them all before. You’re not in the right mood to read them again, but you do look at the pictures. As you turn the page, a newer and shinier piece of paper falls out. It’s from that one notebook article about you, with the covers of your and your dad’s first (only) solo singles. You’re making the exact same face. You suppose the effect would have been lost now, what with your bleached hair and ruined nose.

Then some of your parents — all four of them. They must have met at the same time. The ones that aren’t in Canada (you don’t need to see those, there’s enough of them on the walls) are in various parts of Wales: Great-Nain and Great-Taid’s village in Glamorgan, Nana’s house in cardiff (not many of those), John’s place, the big house you sometimes call home, the normal-sized house you currently call– huh.

It ends there.

gina: so yeah idk

diane: dude

diane: you know you were just away for 3 hours

diane what the heck were you doing

gina is typing…

#writeblr #writerblr #writing community #paralysis tiwh #yourocsbackstory #mariums

9 notes · View notes

joshpup · 6 years

Text

To Love or Not To Love // Pt. 16

Intro // Pt. 1 // Pt. 2 // Pt. 3 // Pt. 4 // Pt. 5 // Pt. 6 // Pt. 7 // Pt. 8 // Pt. 9 // Pt. 10 // Pt. 11// Pt. 12 // Pt. 13 // Pt. 14 // Pt. 15 // Pt. 16 // Pt. 17 Word Count: 2,624 Genre: Svt Mafia Au Member: Mingyu TW: same as always Note: im back from the dead, idk how long this kick will last but im going to try and finish this series. also no hard feelings against mx, love that group more than anything, it just fit lol

The day finally came for you to send everyone off on their mission, leaving you behind. Well, to be exact you, Jihoon and Seungkwan would be staying behind. Jihoon was staying behind to hand the electronic side of things from the base, and Seungkwan...honestly, you weren’t sure what he was staying behind for. Everyone had disappeared into the one room you weren’t allowed into, and when they came out it was like a different group of people had emerged. The thirteen boys you had run into when your cafe was being taken over were now standing in front of you again, preparing for yet another mission.

“Alright,” Seungcheol began, “so, let’s go over the plan one more time.”

You weren’t sure if Seungcheol didn’t know you were there, or just didn’t care at this point, but you were able to pick up quite a bit about the mission. The boys would be going onto a huge boat from what it sounded like. Wonwoo was supposed to do something with cameras and an elevator first from what you heard, then Junhui would be sneaking in, disguised as a delivery man. He was already in his black outfit and fiddling with his earpiece, set to make his “delivery” right away. Jihoon would be doing stuff on his end too and was supposed to alert Junhui through his watch. Damn, they planned this out well… you thought to yourself as you heard them go over more of the plan. No wonder they haven’t been caught yet… Hansol was supposed to sneak in with the staff and help Soonyoung and Minghao, who were then to get to a certain point without triggering anything and turn off the alarm. Simple enough. Whatever they were going after had to be pretty intense for all this planning. You heard the word “bombs” a few to many times to feel comfortable about it and tried to focus your mind on something else. The thought of everyone going off to do something dangerous made you feel uneasy. They were your family now after all.

“We’re going to head out now.” Mingyu said, walking over to you. You stood up from your spot on the couch and looked at him. He had dyed his once dark hair to a bleach blonde, and even went as far as to cut it a lot shorter than you had been used to seeing. He wore a yellow and black turtleneck sweater and a long black coat over it. Not something you would expect to see him in while he’s trying to sneak onto a huge boat.

“You’re wearing that?” you questioned.

“What, does it look bad? I thought it would go well with my new hair…” Mingyu said, looking down at his sweater.

“No, it looks fancy. And I like your new hair, it’s just not what I expected to see you in. you are like storming a boat right? Actually, everyone’s dressed really nice...”

“(Y/n), we’re mafia members, not some lowlife thugs.” Mingyu said with a chuckle.

“Right…” you rolled your eyes, “of course, how silly of me.” Mingyu gave you a look but said nothing. “Good luck with everything, even though I’m pretty sure this is all illegal. Just come back to me safe, okay?”

“Well, know that you’ve told me that, I have no choice but to come back unharmed.” Mingyu said with a cheeky smile.

You and Seungkwan watched as they drove down the long path, and eventually disappeared into the woods, while Jihoon headed straight for his “office” as he called it.

“Seungkwan, what are you going to be doing here?” you questioned after silence had finally settled into the house.

“That’s a secret.” He said with a smirk before disappearing into his room as well. Then, you were met with complete and utter silence. A quiet, still, empty silence you hadn’t heard in months. With thirteen boys in the house, there’s never silence, from snoring at night, to yelling during the day, and the constant background music playing, there is never silence. You hadn’t realized just how much you had missed it. The first thing you did? Sleep of course. Because why not. You woke up around lunch, bored out of your mind. At least when the guys were here you had someone to talk with. Sitting around the house like this was excruciating. The once blissful silence had become stifling.

You tried to listen through the walls to Jihoon’s office but heard only the clicking of keys. No sound came from Seungkwan’s room, leaving you alone for sure. You snuck into Mingyu and Wonwoo’s shared room and pulled a few books you had never read before and settled down on the couch to read. Jihoon only came out of the office once, he shuffled into the kitchen, grabbed a donut, and shuffled back to the office, not staying a single word. You heard a few crashes from his office not long after that but didn’t bother to go investigate. If something during the mission went wrong, you didn’t want to be anywhere near the short boy.

You fixed yourself a small, late lunch, then returned to your book. Nothing much seemed to be happening, that is, until late afternoon. All of the sudden, Seungkwan busts out of his room, dressed in a sweater and pulling on his long tan coat before flying out of the front door, hopped on a motorcycle and tore down the road. Curses erupted from Jihoon’s office, and you decided it would be best if you retreated into your room. Hopefully everyone was alright. The thought of Mingyu was constantly floating around in the back of your mind after that. The sun had finally set and the moon shone brightly outside. Your peered out of one of the front windows and saw a small light coming towards the house, which you assumed was Seungkwan coming back. You moved from the window and around the house, cleaning up little things here and there since you had nothing else to do. You threw yourself down on the couch, waiting for Seungkwan to come through the front door. You hoped that he would finally be free and the two of you could talk, you were even willing to cook up some sort of dinner for him if he wanted. He never came however. Instead you were met with creaks in the house

That was a lot more creaking then the house usually made on its own though. Maybe Jihoon had come out of his office for dinner? You stood up from the couch and slowly headed towards the door leading to the rest of the house. You peeked your head around the corner and saw no one. But what you did see made your heart jump into your throat. The front door was open. Wide open… any normal person would have stayed put. If the front door was open and you could hear someone moving around, not good to go blindly walking in. Then again, it’s not like you could call the police if anyone had broken into the house. You didn’t even know where the dang house was, let alone bring the police straight to a mafia base? Not smart.

You snuck further through the door a little further to see if you could catch a glimpse of whoever was in the house if anyone at all. Your heartbeat seemed to be right in your ears, and you felt as if your breathing was now the loudest thing on earth. You tiptoed around, hoping to at least get to the stairs and rush up to Jihoon’s office unnoticed and some backup. After all, someone breaking into a base of a mafia by themselves doesn’t really stand a chance at all. If there were others…now that’s a different story. You had almost made it to the base of the stairs when you heard someone whisper your name. you physically jumped upon hearing it and whipped around to see none other than Hoseok standing there. Your Hoseok…Monsta X’s Wonho, standing in Seventeens base home.

“What are you doing here?” You whisper, not moving an inch from where you stood.

“I came to get you.” Hoseok whispered, moving closer towards you.

“Uhhhh… no thanks?” you whispered. “you need to go, Jihoon’s still here!”

“I know, that’s why you have to come quick, he won’t notice for a while if we go now.” Hoseok whispered in a rush, already making a move towards the door.

“Hoseok, I’m not going to leave.” You stated.

“Why? They kidnapped you, I’ve been planning to come get you today ever since the ball.”

“Because even if I do get out, I can’t just go back to my normal life. Not now, not ever. I’m stuck like this forever now, there’s no point in running away.”

“But you could at least come with me and stay with someone you actually know. The other guys in my gang are super nice.” Hoseok explained.

“But Seventeen is just as nice, I like it here with them. Plus, if you take me, that will just ruin the relationship between the two groups.” You whispered, still worried Jihoon would come down and find Hoseok in his house. “How did you even find me?”

“I’ve been tracking you for years now. I knew the exact moment you got tangled up with seventeen. I knew when Mingyu kept coming to your café that something was up. I should have pulled you out before anything happened but I was too late. It was a bit harder to find you after seventeen had taken you to their base, but I found you eventually.” Hoseok explained, moving away from the door and closer to you once he realized you weren’t going to follow him.

“Wow, that’s…that’s really creepy.” Was all you could say.

“Look, I didn’t come all this way to leave without you, (y/n).” Hoseok said in almost a growl. Now you were starting to get a little freaked out. The Hoseok you knew in high school was so different from the Hoseok you were seeing now. It was starting to scare you. You were contemplating running up the stairs to get to Jihoon, but right as you were about to bolt up the stairs, Hoseok grabbed your arm, yanked you back and clamped his hand over your mouth. You tried to break free but he was to strong compared to you. There was no way you were going to be able to break free. You thrashed around, hoping that your thumbing against the floor would catch Jihoon’s attention, but you had the feeling he had his headphones on to fully focus on their mission. Amidst the horrible feeling of being betrayed by your once close friend and not being able to break free, you were being kidnapped again. You shouldn’t have even been kidnapped once, why did you have to say again. Before you could put up even more of a fight, a cloth was held against your face. You held your breath for as long as possible while you tried to pull your face away from his strong grip, but eventually you had no other choice but to breath into the cloth, leading you to black out not much longer.

When you woke up you were met with a very familiar feeling. The familiar feeling of waking up sore, confused and very, very unhappy. You had been kidnapped yet again. However, this time you felt a little calmer than before. You didn’t wake up in a car this time around though. You woke up in a bed in a rather small room. You sat up and rubbed your temples, becoming painfully aware of the throbbing headache. You rolled out of the bed and headed towards the door and were surprised when you found the door to be unlocked. You slowly opened the door and poked your head out and glanced around. You could hear people talking downstairs, but other than that there was nothing else. The halls were empty save a few shut doors and big windows. You slowly crept over towards the stairs and peered over the railing, trying to get a better view on where you were. You couldn’t believe you had gotten kidnapped again. Right under Jihoon’s nose as well. Was Mingyu going to think you ran away? Both him and Joshua knew you had been thinking about it… were the going to come look for you? Would they even bother to look for you? It’s not like you were technically part of their gang, in all honesty, you were essentially dead weight to them. Maybe Seungcheol would be glad to finally have you off his hands.

You stood at the top of the stairs, contemplating what you should do. Should you stay in your room and refuse to come out, try and make a break for a door or window and escape, or just walk down in and see all the members of Monsta X again. Eventually you decided to go downstairs and just see what happens. If you saw a place to get out, you’d go for it. Even if you had no idea where you were, getting out would be a good start. If you didn’t find a way out, maybe you would be able to get in contact with seventeen somehow through one of the members. If these two gangs really were as close as they’ve said before, there should be a way they contact each other. Maybe you would be able to get a message to them and let the seventeen members know who had you. Whether your idea was complete impossible and dumb, it was better than anything. Then again, you thought as you slowly crept down the stairs, if Hoseok could track me so long, seventeen should be able to find me, right? After all, if Jihoon really was as good as tracking and Joshua said he was, shouldn’t he be able to find you? So many thoughts were swirling through your head you hadn’t even realized you’d already made it to the room were all the voices had been coming from. You stood in the frame of the door as you stared at seven boys, who were looking back at you.

“Oh, you’re up.” Hoseok declared.

“Yah.” You replied, all nervousness leaving you and becoming replaced with annoyance. “Take me back home please.”

“Home?” Hoseok repeated. “How did that place become your home?”

“Probably the same way this place became your home.” You said, frustrated.

“Then you should easily be able to adjust to this place and make it your home. You’ll be happier here, honest.” Hoseok declared.

“Yah right.” You said before turning and heading upstairs. However, something caused you to stop at the foot of the stairs and listen. A little bit after you had left the room you heard hushed voices talking.

“Wonho, I still don’t think we should keep them here.” A voice said.

“I know what they mean to you, but maybe you can just let them go back to their normal life? They don’t have to go back to seventeen…” you wanted to stay around and here the rest of their conversation, but upon hearing the scrap of chair legs and footsteps you quickly launched yourself upstairs so no one would find out you had been listening in on their conversation. You sat down on the edge of your bed and ran your fingers through your hair. It’s not like anything bad was happening to you, but god you wanted to leave. You wanted to go home. Not your original home, no, you wanted to go to your home were your family was. Where Seventeen was.

Next...

76 notes · View notes