#mind control survivor

[keeplivingsystems]

if you are a cult survivor or a victim of ritual abuse, mind control, or organized abuse, please know that we see you. we believe you. your pain is real and your trauma is real, even if it is masked with programs, pseudomemories, or dissociative barriers. you deserve a future filled with rest, joy, and recovery. you deserve a community that believes, supports, and cherishes you.

it’s okay if you want to be open and candid about your trauma and experiences. it’s okay if you don’t want anyone to know about them. you are allowed to reclaim agency over your own history. we hope that you can do this in ways that are uplifting and empowering for you.

we feel for you. we care about you. we believe you and we believe in you. your experiences will never be questioned or trivialized here. you are allowed to exist as you are. your strength and resilience does not go unnoticed.

[many-but-one]

i believe survivors of RAMCOA when they talk about the abuse they suffered, but the one thing i cannot wrap my head around is how abusers purposefully program alters? and this makes the moral ocd worms in my brain go NUTS.

i think i dont understand bc not every child who goes through severe torture/abuse will develop DID/OSDD and it feels way more probable that abusers arent attempting to make alters so much as theyre conditioning certain responses (and if a childs brain happens to split these experiences into alters then thats a byproduct that benefits the abuser).

all of this makes me feel like a bad ally to RAMCOA survivors, and while its not your job to educate me would you mind explaining how the programming alters aspect works?

[Trigger warning: talking about how programming works and why not all children who experience RAMCOA develop DID or may not end up becoming fully programmed. Brief mentions of child death. Mentions of child torture. Nothing in detail, obviously. Also talking a lot about how the deprogramming process works. If you are a programmed system yourself and you worry this could be triggering, have grounding items nearby just in case.]

Note: when I say “successfully” or “properly” programmed system, I’m talking about in the eyes of the abusers. Also, this is talking about TBMC (torture based mind control) programmers. I have to put that disclaimer because you wouldn’t believe how many confused computer programmers I’ve gotten in comment sections on other socials.

So, the reason not every child who goes through RAMCOA develops DID is because developing DID requires some pre-requisites. Things like genetic predisposition to dissociate actually do make a big difference. Also, how early the abuse started. If someone goes through RAMCOA trauma, but not until they’re older and their personality has already begun integrating (which can happen younger in some children, even as young as around age 5-7, though some researchers have said personality integration can happen as late as the teen years) it will be significantly harder to develop DID and therefore properly program the child. In addition, how much access programmers have to the child, how long they had access to the child, and how much support the child has outside of the abuse are also contributing factors.

If programmers see this kid one week out of the month, the parents don’t know about it and therefore the kid has a relatively okay home life with love and support, and they only have access to the kid for a couple years, that’s not going to be good grounds for programmers being able to properly do what they want to do. Some may still try if they don’t have access to anyone else, but this rarely creates a “successful” programmed system. Conversely, if they see the kid every day or multiple days a week, a parent is in on it/they have a bad home life where abuse (of possibly a lesser magnitude but not always) occurs, the parents are neglectful or very busy and likely to not notice things, and they have access to this kid for several years, that makes for a better chance that this kid will be properly programmed.

Because of all of these factors, programmers will often pick children who they know have parents with PTSD or CPTSD (or a dissociative disorder, if the parent has disclosed that to them), who they can access early in their life or have prior history of abuse (so are more likely to already have begun developing a dissociative disorder), and whom they have access to frequently. Sometimes, the child’s parent will be programmed by the group themselves and be born quite literally just to be programmed by the group. Some groups take great care in keeping family groups within the group because that creates stronger loyalty bonds and gives them easy access to children to program. It’s not uncommon for a group goal to be for their grown programmed systems to have kids to eventually give to the group, which is why apprehending a programmed system and having them work on deprogramming before this can happen is essential.

A lot of kids that programmers desire to program actually end up “failing out” because they aren’t able to take to the programming. Depending on the group, this could mean they will end the kid’s life or they will just stop the programming-related abuse altogether. And contrary to what most people know, even successfully programmed children have loads of failed programs, or parts that didn’t take well to programming. Most of the time these parts who have failed programming will be put in “discard areas” in the system’s inner world, and they will be either forced into dormancy or they will be stuck there until amnesia barriers eventually break down as the grown person starts to work on deprogramming (if they ever do.) A successfully programmed system’s most active parts are parts who did not fail their programming, and these are often the most well-rounded parts retrofitted with a personality that would have likely been created by the abusers.

To add: there is often layers upon layers of amnesia even in these single well-rounded parts (that often end up having an alters-in-alters subsystem, and said part might not even be aware they have one) and the “top part” or most front-facing part of that subsystem may not even be aware they are programmed. At least, until a cue happens and their program starts running and they start doing things they wouldn’t normally be doing. A lot of programmed parts don’t even know their own cues or even what traumas they have that would have created their programming. They might know they have trauma, but the memories of the programming might be missing, or the context surrounding the programming traumas might be missing. Usually these cues and context behind the traumas are hidden in EPs or fragments that are buried pretty deep within their subsystems. Accessing these EPs in therapy is integral to the deprogramming process, as learning what manipulations were done to make a programmed part believe what they do is essential in undoing it. All deprogramming really is, is showing programmed parts that what their abusers made them believe was true is a lie and that they are not at risk to be harmed anymore if they no longer have contact with the group. (Cutting off a system’s communication with the group is first and foremost what they should do when deprogramming)

As for your assumption, that abusers are trying to condition children and these experiences happen to split an alter to hold the conditioned response, you are partially right. In some cases, especially in cases where it’s a single parent or a family unit doing this to their own kids, it’s often more likely that the parent is not fully aware that they are creating a DID system. This is where the difference between programming and conditioning is important to note. We made a video about this here: link to TikTok video.

However, in larger groups, programmers do know they are creating a system. DID is not some unknown secret to much of the world, and research about it is easy to find. Even inexperienced groups can find research on DID and how alters form very easily and use that to try and create a system in a child. Whether or not they will be successful with that info alone is hard to say. I was abused by two different groups, one of them inexperienced and one of them very experienced. The initial attempts at programming were often unsuccessful, and we assume they got in contact with the experienced group to learn more and they essentially showed our main handler/programmer how it was done. (We have memories of him being taught and observing/taking part as necessary to the teachings, so this is not speculation, we know this was the case.) Once we were in the hands of the experienced group, we became very well programmed and our system’s organization changed massively. On top of that, the inexperienced group was now experienced, so we actually have alters who are programmed by two separate groups, each loyal to their own group. Some of our parts were loyal to both because they were programmed by both. (“Were” loyal because we’ve deprogrammed significantly and they no longer feel loyal to the groups anymore.)

Like I said in my initial post, programming alters is actually not that complicated on the surface, though in practice it is difficult, and to create a well programmed system takes a lot of skill and intelligence. Skilled programmers are unfortunately often incredibly smart individuals. Anyone who’s been willing to speak with me about their programmers often cite them as being people with high level college degrees. Doctors, engineers, mathematicians, scientists, psychologists. If not a college degree, they often work in areas like police work, political work, religious ministry, or other city/county/state positions. If none of these, they (horrifyingly) tend to work in areas where children are often present. Pediatric doctors/nurses, summer camp counselors, Sunday school teachers, daycare attendants, nannying jobs, teaching, etc. While not all programmers will fit this bill, a lot of them do. In the world outside of their programming job, they are often well-liked by their community. This is not to say everyone in these positions is a programmer, also. Want to make that REALLY clear. Not every person with this job has a secret side job of torturing kids, these just happen to be common areas they tend to gravitate toward. They are often thrill-seeking sadists and egocentric. Having a position in their community in which they are consistently recognized for their accomplishments or adored is often important to them. Sometimes, programmers are also programmed themselves, especially in large groups with generational aspects involved.

Now that that’s out of the way, I’m not going to explain in explicit detail how programming works because that doesn’t make me comfortable to share, but a very dumbed down version of it is pretty simple:

1) torture child to create alter splits

2) get one of these splits to front via triggers related to the torture that caused them to split

3) indoctrinate them with a behavior or action that, if they do not do that action, means they will be punished further. While they are doing said action/being indoctrinated with certain beliefs, have a specific trigger or cue present so that when they see that trigger/cue in the future, they will immediately do the action/enforce the beliefs they have been taught.

4) repeat steps 1-3, basically.

This is why I explained that programming is kind of like conditioning on steroids. Except the child is severely manipulated, tortured, and has extreme threats of harm to self or others to reinforce it, and this is done repeatedly, to the point where it causes the alter extreme duress if they do not do their assigned task because if they didn’t do their task in the past (in childhood) they would be tortured or would have to witness other children be tortured. They will fully believe if they do not do the thing, they or others WILL be hurt, and they believe the programmers WILL know if they don’t, so they often just do it automatically in efforts to avoid the punishment they believe is coming. It is extremely hard for them to override the emotional flashbacks, somatic flashbacks, etc, if they try to resist doing the task. Adding onto that, programmers will often create alters who will punish parts in the inner world the same way the abusers would if they do not do their task, so that is another layer of fear on top of that. These programmed parts often cannot distinguish the difference between outer world torture and inner world torture, as they rarely get contact with the outside world except to do their tasks. So if they don’t do their task, they will be punished by alters in the inner world space and they may fully believe they are being punished in real life. Creating safe spaces for alters to go in the inner world if they don’t do their assigned task is an important part of deprogramming. Because once an alter realizes they will not be punished both externally and internally by not doing a certain action, they will be much less inclined to do said action.

If all of that sounds extremely messed up and fucks with your moral OCD, you’re right to feel that way. It is messed up. These people are vile, fucked up, and cruel. They often do not see the children as human beings and care not of how much this damages the child physically, psychologically, and emotionally. These children are dehumanized beyond belief. Many programmed parts of a system do not see themselves as human unless they were specifically meant to be human. Commonly created alters are things with no free will or no ability to think for themselves, such as angels, robots, and inanimate objects. If a child truly believes they cannot think for themselves, it will be harder to deprogram them. Which is why deprogramming often involves teaching the grown system that they are allowed to make choices outside of their group’s desires and control. It is not easy.

For those that read this and are feeling dissociated and/or anxious, remember your grounding techniques. Get some mints, cinnamon candies, or sour candies and munch. Smell a strong scented candle. Hold some ice or hand warmers in your hands. Look around the room and pick out items that you recognize to be from the present. Pet a cat/dog/[insert animal here] or hug a stuffed animal. Remember, it is currently 2024 and you are safe. Your abusers will not know you read this unless you tell them yourself. You are brave, capable, and safe. I believe in you and your healing journey.

Take care, everyone.

[scavangers-daughter]

If one more person says RAMCOA is a conspiracy theory, that my lived, VILE life altering, world-shattering, body breaking experience is a “conspiracy theory”!!!??!

Glad you have lived such a sheltered life to have the luxury of it all….

Fuck off

[das-ist-mein-neuanfang]

Reminder that you don't have to label anything. You don't have to keep a journal with every alter of your system and figure every tiny bit out. It's okay to just go with the flow and it's okay to write down something that you think is important to remember. It's also okay to just trust your gut and don't force yourself to anything just because everyone else does. If I learned one thing then it is that the goal is what matters. And if what you're doing is good for the goal (for example better communication) then great. And if you find yourself just losing in it without any progress then maybe it's not helping your goal.

Also just because someone else handles something in x way, it doesn't mean it's helping you too. Maybe y or z are a better fit and maybe z is the one just for you and no one else. Don't stress yourself to fit into something that's not meant for you.

[requiemsystem]

ABUSE VS TORTURE

TW for discussion of abuse and torture, including an example of physical abuse a discussion i had with my therapist inspired me to make this post, we were discussing my experiences with abuse and calculated abuse and at what point that becomes torture. i want to preface this post by saying that i dont want to make this into trauma olympics, trauma is trauma, regardless of if you experienced abuse or torture note that this is just my opinion, i am not the final judge on whether or not something is abuse or torture, this is just what i discussed with my therapist and the conclusions i came to as an abuse and torture survivor abuse is usually done impulsively or out of anger/frustration, such as a parent hitting a misbehaving child to get them to behave. it tends to be less calculated and a lot more spur of the moment. while abuse can have a goal, the goal is not as calculated and planned as in torture torture is much more calculated and is done with a specific purpose. this purpose can be anything, such as extracting information, punishment, or simply causing suffering. torture is planned abuse, all torture is abuse, but not all abuse is torture - grey

[obessivedork]

Once again thinking about Preston adopting Danse under his wing as a favour to the Sole Survivor and the two of them becoming the best team in the Commonwealth almost instantly 😘👌 10/10 once they talk things out they're the best of friends

[anonsystem]

me complaining about it being a trauma month as if every month isn't a fucking trauma month

[purplepodcast]

TW Programming. (I’m going to be very vulnerable and open here because I know I can protect myself from this trigger.)

We have discovered, a while ago, we have a trigger that causes our brain to “scramble” itself whenever we mutually engage in sexual or romantic situations with others. We believe this was so we wouldn’t remember the things that happened (and so we’d do it all willingly) during the reason we “needed” this program. We can not engage in mutual situations like this without completely scrambling our brains. It’s the worst feeling ever. I can’t think straight for minutes to HOURS. I can’t think of responses, I can’t think of words. I can barely write this post right now. I’m sick and tired of it. I keep accidentally triggering myself by continuing to put myself in these situations. I WANT TO LOVE. I want to be able to love someone without having to be reminded of my past and suffer from someone I haven’t been in contact with for years. I want to be free.

I also found out we get terribly nauseuous and sick sometimes even when this program is triggered.

[bisamwilson]

another day another sticky commenting on a bucky focused post out of nowhere talking about how sam is so mean bc he calls him nicknames and says he should make amends. by which i mean another few spikes in my blood pressure

[mothofmany]

tw ramcoa

To Train Up a Child is TBMC

To Train Up a Child is TBMC

To Train Up a Child is TBMC

To Train Up a Child is TBMC

[silence-iz-violence]

The Groomer Doc - unwelcome-ozian/ UWO/ U.W Ozain is a predator

All the screenshots and posts regarding the grooming allegations against unwelcome-ozian (UWO / U.W. Ozain) in one place. Its a Google doc.

[borderlinedolly]

What Is Clocking?

Clocking is an ability many RAMCOA survivors have to varying degrees. They can tell when someome is a RAMCOA victim. Certain survivors (typically high ranking ones) can clock victims down to their rank and possibly branch. Less common are the ones who can clock victims down to their role and sect. Low ranking victims can typically clock those who are superior to them.

Logically, this is a useful ability as sects can have thousands of members and you can't possibly remember all of them. Being able to tell who your superiors are will help keep you alive. Similarly, you can also tell when someone is lower than you/"usable". Programmers can clock people to know who they can exploit.

It is a real ability and dangerous people can and will use it to their advantage. It is not fear mongering, it is the horrifying truth of being a RAMCOA survivor. We are not safe anywhere, pretending we are will not protect us or help us survive. Being aware of the dangers can help you try to keep yourselves as safe as possible.

Here are some ways to protect yourself: keep yourself as grounded as possible while outside and avoid switching to vulnerable alters, don't talk to strangers and stay away from anyone who gives you a weird feeling.

Saying clocking isn't real won't help you if a programmer spots you.

[scavangers-daughter]

Transramcoa people stop cross tagging in RAMCOA tags challenge

[coining-ramcoa-terms]

a term for alters and or subsystems that hold trauma related towards sexual TBMC? if that's alright

Chionenoxa

an alter who holds trauma that is sexual TBMC (trauma based mind control)

Chionenoxa system

is a system, subsystem or sidesystem that largely hold the trauma for sexual TBMC

Flag meaning : The purple represents sexual abuse. The green represents the TBMC experienced. The green represents the emotional impact on the individual and system, the white represents the existence before any abuse occured.

[requiemsystem]

ORGANIZATIONAL PROGRAMMING — WHAT IT IS AND IS NOT

Trigger warning for discussion of programming. Organizational programming is a type of programming that encompasses any form of categorization. This can be done by numbers, colors, gemstones, cards, or anything else your group sees as relevant. For programmed systems who have organizational programming, it is used as the foundation for all other programming. Each category will be used to decide a specific type of programming. For example, the color black may indicate violence or aggression programming, commonly referred to in the survivor community as "delta". You can have multiple organization programs, but the more you have the more confusing it would get, so it's likely that most groups would only stick to a few. The ability for a child to remember multiple different organizational programming systems depends entirely on the child and the ability of the group to make it stick. Due to the nature of organizational programming being the foundation for all other programs, it must be implemented near the start of the abuse and reinforced throughout. It cannot be successfully implemented after all other programs, as this would be extremely poorly done and messy. Due to how group specific organizational programming can be, there is no universal meaning to any type of organizational programming. For example, people commonly say that the color red is associated with sexual programming, or "beta" as it's commonly called in survivor communities, but this is entirely subjective and depends on what the group associates that color with. You also cannot have only organizational programming. The organization has to be for a purpose, and it would be pointless to implement it if they did not intend to use it. Not all survivors of programming have organizational programming, it is not a required thing to have. Some groups see no use for it and never implement it. Others see it as highly important. It depends entirely on your group. Number programming is not the only type of organizational programming. I see organizational programming reduced down to only number programming quite frequently, but it's far from the only type. Anything relevant to your group with distinct categories can be used as organizational programming. - Veritas

[beardedangelgladiator]

Where do I put all this information? I can't stay quiet about this anymore. I just...can't. What I went through...what she went through...all the others....I can't handle the weight of it all anymore.

Does anybody know where or to post my story at?I need my story to get out there, somehow.