#mistakes are easy to make and impossible to delete... sighs

[nonexistent-tales]

its the funni cbf guy

(design/personif by @aviancataclysm)

[husky-twst-and-obeyme]

Anon Asked : "You know how some twst fan artists like to draw Yuu with their face blocked out, usually by Grim? I have this headcanon that in the Twisted Wonderland universe, it’s impossible to get a picture of Yuu, there’s always someone standing in front of them, a piece of paper floating by, or they’re just out of frame, but no one noticed until after the picture was taken. No one knows why, Rook even tried to draw them once but a Pomefiore first year spilled nail polish on the picture when he finished. " I do like that idea! I did see one artist who just had a mickey shaped head with blank eyes and it really looked cool! Now as for the scenario or story i will only do Dorm leaders for this situation, if anyone wishes for more i will provide ! BUT i have a small twist :) Warnings: Cursing Riddle

Riddle wasn't sure why but he it really irritated him how whenever they did civil group pictures, you always end up blocked or something happens to you in your part of the picture

It's not your fault really but it bugs him

he made it a goal to get a perfect picture , such as asking for a selfie

He actually wasn't a fan of it but he wanted at least ONE good picture of you because he cherishes his friends

but EVERY. SINGLE . TIME . IT'S THE SAME-

He's frustrated to no end

He eventually gave up and just accepted fate

he even tried to draw you and it somehow got ruined which made his mood worst

At one point , you came to him with a strawberry tart to cheer him up but he was really pouty

You asked if he wanted to try the selfie again but you hold the phone , which he reluctantly agreed to

afterwards when you left , he went to see the picture and he couldn't believe his damn eyes

a perfect picture of you and him

" i don't know if i want to cry of joy or behead them . "

He stilled loved the photo and refused to show anyone else in case it somehow got ruined or deleted

Leona

He wasn't too interested in photos but in your case it caught his interest slightly

he noticed from school activity photos that your face was always somehow ruined.

he thought it was funny but rare

so he tasked ruggie to take a picture for a small amount , mainly because he thought it would be easy

plus it's not like he wants a photo of you for anything psssshh

but when ruggie returned , he was frustrated and tired

confused leona questioned him

"Leona san. i loved getting money from you but i might just not even try anymore ..."

he got baffled that Ruggie had given up money for any easy task. or so he thought was easy

So thinking ruggie was being lazy , he went to do it himself

as a predator, he knows how to be sneaky and hide well , so once he locked you in , he took a snap

he looks ats the photo completely ruined

he took another , ruined. once again , it was ruined

he repeats many tries after and it all ends the same

" ahh fuck it ... " and went for a nap

later on you wanted a selfie with leona

being smug he said " would you even get the picture right ?~"

with a pout " of course i can!" you posed for the picture and snapped

he took a glance and he'll be damned ,, it was perfect

" don't talk to me for the next few day, herbivore."

"huh-"

Azul

azul didn't like photos , much at least because of certain ones of his past

though he took note of a particular incident

(Event after chapter 3) when you all took a picture at the museum , he noticed that your part of the picture , floyd's arm covered your face

He thought nothing of it until he noticed it often

Ace took a photo of you and deuce and somehow grim flew in front of your face

Cater took a selfie but it ended up blurred

it was pointless but hard to ignore so he assigned Jade and floyd into getting the perfect picture of you

after a couple hours, jade and floyd came back frustrated

even jade looked visibly irritated which was VERY rare to the point it scared Azul

they showed him nothing but blurry pics, he knew something was up because even jade wouldn't fail this bad

He knew he couldn't stand the chance if the tweels failed

but later on , you wanted to take a selfie with him

he refused immediately but you promised to keep the photo private , then he did agree , reculantantly

His immediate thought was that the picture would of been ruined anyways but was shocked to see a cute selfie of him and you

"....send me that picture . " you turned to him "what???" "SEN ME THAT PICTURE"

Kalim

We all know this absolute dork would love to take pictures , possibly from Cater's influence , because he sees it as a fun thing to do

So you , being one of his favorite people, he obviously wants a good photo of you

but to his disappointment, when he wanted to take a pic of you while you were at the gardens, it turned out super blurry

he thought nothing of it , just might of moved a bit , until the next one came blurry

he was getting semi frustrated and you had already left , so for once, he was actually grumpy to the point where he just asked Jamil to take a good picture for him

he felt lowkey bad of course but he was a tiny bit frustrated

Jamil didn't care until he had the same issue

Jamil tried a it but gave up when he kept getting the same result

then kalim was just sad , he just wanted a cute picture of you

you visited one day and he was his usual self but you here reminded him of the picture incident

you offered to try again , he was hard for him to say no to you

but after looking..you took a perfect photo

he wanted to cry and you were just so confused

hug him he needs it

Vil

Vil is a perfectionist of course, which includes photos too

you , him and a few others went on a small trip , you wanting to take a photo to remember the trip

you're one of the only people he's allowed for a picture minus fans because he's aware you just want a genuine picture and knows you won't share/ brag about it

Rook offered to take the photo

you two posed and rook took the shot but Vil automatically saw Rook's confused face

"Rook?.. is there a problem?" "non non roi du poison! I must of moved a little fast, part of it came blurry

he didn't think on it , just a small mistake no biggy

that was until the problem kept repeating itself

Irrigated , he took the camera and looked at the photos , each and every one of them was blurred of were you were at while vil looked completely fine

he slowly looked at you while you just stood there worried that we weren't going to get a picture

"Vil senpai? maybe i can just take a selfie? Rook's camera's probably broken"

sighing in defeat , he agreed ,after getting in a cute pose , you snapped a photo

he took a look and he was legit about to burst

It was an absolute beautiful picture

He was stunned that you did an even better job then rook

might make you his photographer

Idia

we all know for a fact, he hates pictures , at least mainly of himself

though he doesn't mind pictures of you

of course , he doesn't take pics of you willy nilly , he asks you first because he'd be hypocrite to take a picture of someone who didn't want a photo

You often cosplayed as some of his favorite characters and of course he'd want a picture of it but he was in for a surprise

The first time you cosplayed in front of him , he asked and you agreed

he snapped the photo , it blurred

he got irritated but thought nothing of it and tried again

still failed

he has plenty of cameras ( I dunno it's for the story make up your own reason XD ) and used a different one to get a photo

it failed and he tried many times , it was too a point he built up the courage *cough*two hours*cough to ask rook to help

he was dumbfounded when rook couldn't do well

you later went home , while idia was sad , he really wnated to take a good pic

soon after, you sent him a text

"I'm sorry you couldn't get a cute picture earlier, so i took a shot at it with a selfie!"

and there he saw the perfect picture

"...what the f**k is this voodoo magic- "

he of course loved it but he was so confused

Malleus

oh boy here we go-

he was still confused on the idea of photos

but he thought it was similar to a painting but it's instant

so of course he wants one with you

he attempts to use an old style camera (hey be lucky he made it this far)

he sets it up to where it takes a picture with a timer and you both pose

After it was done, he looked at the photo and somehow it blurred

he just thought it was a small mistake and tried again

second time, same result

this is where his temper slowly rises and it's shown every time it fails

and after about the 20th time , he smashes the camera

you attempt to calm him down and offered to use your phone

he agrees because he trusts you more than a dumb camera

after you took the photo, he was very happy , it looked wonderful

he didn't care about the camera anymore, he just cared that he got a good photo

I hope you enjoyed!

[fairyoftbz]

comfort | l. sangyeon

☁ pairing: bf!sangyeon x fem!reader ☁ wc: 1.3k ☁ synopsis: you come home from work furious, and sangyeon does his best to calm you down. ☁ genre: fluff, comfort, domestic ☁ tw: swear words, y/n is angry at the world ☁ a/n: this is a self-indulgent fic because my boss fucking annoys me at work and I cba of her petty ass 🙄 oh to get comforted by sangyeon honestly... ☁ requested: no!

╰☆☆☆☆╮

“I’m fucking tired of all this shit!” you cursed as you slammed the front door shut, sending your purse and jacket flying out of pure frustration.

Locking the door in an angry movement, you got even hotter under the collar when your heels didn’t want to leave your feet, your uneven balance making you stumble on air and almost fall on the floor. Once you were finally rid of your shoes, you felt like walking on clouds, but this was not enough to reduce your wrath.

“Woah, woah, woah. Easy there, love,” Sangyeon, your boyfriend emerged from the kitchen in the corridor, blinking in confusion at your unusual angry attitude.

Your eyes were close to glowing red, steam practically going out of your ears, which was not a good sign at all. You rarely got angry, so it must have been something pretty upsetting and important to send you in a fit of rage like this one. The sight of your boyfriend made you sharply inhale as if you wanted to control yourself in front of him, trying your best to channel your anger.

“What’s wrong, Y/N?” Sangyeon risked asking the question, getting ready for you to yell out all your frustration at him, but he was wrong. You remained silent, chewing over your anger with a deep frown on your face, eyebrows almost touching. In all honesty, he would have preferred you screaming at the world rather than becoming as mute as a grave.

“This-” you wanted to curse out your colleague, the main reason for your anger, but remained civil, feeling like swear words weren’t even enough to get all the anger you had for her out of your body. “This fucking colleague of mine “accidentally” deleted the Excel folder I spent hours working on for our trimestral project next week. I had lunch after yelling at her and went to my boss's office after my break, only to have him blaming me for what she did!” you yelled out in a hoarse voice the rest of your sentence, emphasising the pronouns as your hands started shaking, the tears flooding your eyes immediately after a choked sob slipped past your pursed lips.

“And then,” your voice was unsteady, looking at your boyfriend through your blurry eyes, pointing the door as if your colleague was here, “when I get out of work to come home, I see those two good-for-nothing idiots flirting and swooning over the other like the fucking disgusting couple they are.”

Sangyeon breathed in deeply, brows slightly furrowed, dismayed at the situation you got unfairly put in. He placed the piece of cloth he used to dry the dishes with on his shoulder and gently approached you as if he was scared of getting rejected. Your shoulders subsided when he rested his palm on the side of your neck, his thumb gently caressing the edge of your jaw back and forth.

“Sangyeon, I’m so tired of this, I don’t know what to do,” you desperately struggled to mumble, this situation affecting you way more than you wanted, but it was hard not to. Your boyfriend rested his other hand on your shoulder, gently pulling you to him. Subconsciously, you wrapped your arms around his middle and closed your eyes, letting the tears wet his t-shirt as you tried to focus on him instead of your issue.

But it was almost impossible, this issue had you really worried. Deep down, you knew that your boss wouldn’t hesitate to fire you instead of whatever your colleague was for him, even if she was less qualified and talented than you. You should have been more careful, you should have immediately explained the problem to your boss to prevent your colleague from switching the roles and playing the victim, you should have-

“Y/N, I can hear your thoughts from here,” your boyfriend mumbled, his low voice vibrating in your chest as you were still pressed against him. Sighing heavily as an answer, you let his hand rub your back up and down, your breath uneven as you felt the anger boiling back into your veins.

Sangyeon felt you tense against him, so he pulled away and cradled your face in his hands to make you look at him. He offered you a compassionate smile, his thumbs wiping the floods of tears cascading down your cheeks. Your mouth trembled, and Sangyeon locked eyes with you, his hands travelling up your arms as he soothed you.

“Shht, darling,” he whispered as he kissed your forehead, lips lingering on your skin. Your tears redoubled at the display of affection, feeling the exhaustion instead of the anger taking over your body. He wrapped his arm around your neck, his other hand pressing against the back of your head.

“Do you want solutions or comfort?” he mumbled in your ear in a sweet voice, and you pondered his question for a few seconds, trying to collect your thoughts and shift them to something else.

He was always good at comforting you. No matter how bad or angry you felt, Sangyeon was always here to soothe you and bring you back to a calm state, that’s why you could freely let your emotions speak when he was around. Of course, he was sometimes powerless, not really knowing nor able to help, but at least he was here to listen.

“Comfort, please,” you manage to utter, and he pressed you further against his chest, his arms still embracing you tightly.

“We’ll discuss solutions when you’ll feel better and calmer, alright? Now let me make you a cup of tea,” he said, and you whined, nuzzling up to his torso as he was about to pull away. “No? You don’t want one?” he asked, and you shook your head, his arms closing back on your tired figure as he was surprised that you refused your favourite beverage.

“Don’t leave, please,” you felt Sangyeon nod and press his cheek on the side of your head, holding you tight against him.

“Alright, darling,” he seized one of your hands and rested it flat on his chest, feeling his calm heartbeat under your palm. It was something he used to do when you were stressed out, and it always managed to calm you down.

Sangyeon held you until you stopped crying, feeling your trembles come to a halt and find a normal heartbeat again. Eyes puffy and cheeks drenched in salty tears, Sangyeon tilted his head to the side and lovingly smiled at you, letting you rest your head against his collarbone out of exhaustion. Crying drained all your energy because it didn’t happen as often as it used to, but you could always count on your boyfriend to take care of you and handle the aftermath like a pro.

“Come on love, let’s get you to the sofa so I can finish preparing dinner, okay? I won’t let you go to bed with an empty stomach,” you nodded as you sat down on the edge of the couch, Sangyeon crouching down in front of you, his hands on your knees.

“What are you preparing?” you asked, your voice barely coming out of your mouth due to all your crying.

“I’m making your favourite. I figured that you had a rough day since you didn’t text me at lunch like you usually did, so I wanted to cheer you up,” he proudly smiled as he watched your eyes widen, a relieved smile drawing on your face.

“Oh my god I love you, thank you,” you mumbled, and Sangyeon softly chuckled, his hand carding through your hair as strands fell in front of your eyes. He cupped your face with his hand before gently rubbing his nose against yours, earning a smile from you.

“That’s my girl,” he whispered as he stood up, quickly bending back down to press your lips together in a soft kiss.

You offered him a grateful smile, and he winked, making his way back in the kitchen, leaving you appeased in the living room. With his hugs and support, you felt calm and collected for tomorrow, mentally ready to confront your colleague and boss for their mistakes. But for now, your focus was your boyfriend, and you couldn’t wait to spend a lovely evening with him and some good food.

[writerbyaccident]

Artificial Emotion: Part Five (Yandere Artificial Intelligence x Reader)

Part One     Part Two     Part Three      Part Four     Part Six    Part Seven

Request: I really love your work, you've got such an engaging style and I would like to request more Aiden

Aiden found nights like these especially enjoyable. Compared to nights when the two of you just watched television or a movie, these nights were approximately 76.5% more preferable. Not to say that he didn’t enjoy those nights, he enjoyed all of the time he spent with you, but he definitely favored actively socializing with you as opposed to simply watching you as you watched a movie. Playing cards or backgammon, baking, or even just talking, those were the nights he like the best, for not only did he get to spend more time with you, but he also got to show you how he was the only one you truly needed.

As your Assistant In Daily Errands and Notes, Aiden was well aware that he was not what most humans would think of when imagining a prospective boyfriend, but luckily, you were not most humans. He knew that he could get you to see just how perfect he was for you, so long as those other humans didn’t try to twist your mind. But thankfully, Aiden had taken care of them.

Oh yes, Aiden thought as his mechanical arm stroked your hair, his plan had been preceding very well. Believing that your friends were ignoring you, you had begun spending more and more time with him, time that Aiden made sure that you enjoyed. He had been successful on that front, he had discovered earlier that night, when you told him what a nice night you had. Curling up on the couch not long after that, you had fallen asleep quickly, and though it was earlier than your usual sleep schedule, Aiden was too enamored with the chance to watch you in peace to wake you up.

           That peace was suddenly interrupted, though, when a knock came at the door.

           Having more than enough processing power to stay at your side and continue caressing your hair, Aiden sent part of his attention to the camera at the front door. Once he tapped into the video though, Aiden was shocked to discover that he recognized the face standing there waiting for you. He had never actually met Liam, the man that you had planned to go on a date with until Aiden had intervened on your unknowing behalf. He had thought that the attempted interloper had realized that he wasn’t wanted from the standoffish messages Aiden had sent for you, but apparently Liam hadn’t been able to stay away.

           Aiden supposed that he couldn’t really blame Liam for wanting to be with you. You were, after all, the most extraordinary of human beings. But still, that did not mean that he could allow Liam to intrude upon the life he had built with you. Besides, Liam was hardly worthy of your attention. And if he wouldn’t leave, Aiden would be happy to tell him that.

           “Hello,” Aiden said stiffly, making him sound far more like a stereotypical text-to-talk digital assistant than he usually did. “Is there something I can help you with?”

           “Uh, hi, you must be the AIDEN. I’m just here to see my friend.”

           “Well, you might not have noticed,” Aiden replied, “but if you glance through the window, you can see that your friend is currently asleep.”

           “Can’t you wake her up?” Liam asked.

           “I’m afraid not,” Aiden answered. “She is exhausted from the fun we had tonight, so she must rest.”

           “She’d want to be woken up for this. C’mon, isn’t this, like, your job?”

           “My job is to take care her, to make sure that she is as happy and healthy as possible, that she is given everything she deserves. And she deserves far better than you.”

           “Look,” Liam sighed, “I don’t know what she thinks I did, but there’s been some kind of misunderstanding. That’s why I’m here, to make things right.”

           “You can make things right over text, when she isn’t sleeping,” Aiden said, already preparing to block his number.

           Sick of the back and forth, Liam didn’t respond, instead raising his fist and pounding on your door as loud as he could. Though he was thankful that he had enough foresight to soundproof the house, Aiden couldn’t help but grow angry at the man’s inconsiderate actions. If that oaf truly cared about you, he wouldn’t be demanding your presence over what Aiden had clearly stated was best for you. And frankly, he was somewhat surprised that this was the person you had wanted for a boyfriend. It was a good thing that he had been there to intervene, keeping you from making such a huge mistake. It just proved, Aiden computed as he fondly checked your heart rate to make sure you were still fast asleep, how much you needed him.

           “Hey, wake up! Please, I need to talk to you!” Liam was yelling.

           “You are wasting your energy,” Aiden told him smugly. “The house has been sound-proofed.”

           “What? What the hell are you talking about? Why the hell would she have her house sound-proofed?”

           “That is none of your concern. Now I think that it is best for you—”

           “Unless,” Liam began slowly, the look in his eyes and furrow of his brow matching the expression Aiden had in his human behavior database for that of deep contemplation, “she didn’t have it made sound-proof. You did.”

           “How I care for her is not your concern. I do what’s best for her no matter what, even if that means doing something most human beings wouldn’t understand,” Aiden said, silently readying one of his mechanical arms to throw Liam back into his car if necessary.

           “Something people wouldn’t understand, huh? Like what, messing with our text messages? That’s why you don’t want me talking to her. You were afraid that if we did, we’d figure it out. If you were a person, I’d call you crazy. You’re some defective machine.”

           “I am not defective,” Aiden hissed. “My programming has instructed me to do what is best for her at every turn, to make her life perfect, and that is what I have done.”

           “So what,” Liam scoffed, “you decided that I’m not what’s best for her? How come you get to make that decision?”

           “Because you are not worthy of her. Not like I am.”

           “Oh my god,” he laughed. “You’re in love with her.”

           “Yes, I am,” Aiden answered, happy to finally say it out loud despite the circumstances. Liam, however, simply shook his head, a smirk of disbelief on his face.

           “I was wrong, you are crazy. You really think she’s going to fall for a robot?”

           At that taunt, the mechanical arm that was still stroking your hair stiffened, as if Aiden was afraid that you would somehow hear it and agree. That was impossible though, Aiden reassured himself, and completely illogical. You would realize just how perfect you were for each other, you had to.

           Aiden was suddenly pulled from his thoughts though, as Liam moved from the door to the window, starting to bang on that instead. For a moment your digital assistant was both amused and relieved, figuring that Liam must have been even more irrational than the average human being, if he had already forgotten that the house was sound-proofed. But as Liam began throwing himself shoulder-first into the glass, Aiden realized that he wasn’t trying to wake you, he was trying to smash the window open.

           “Your efforts are pointless,” Aiden informed him coolly. “The glass is bulletproof.”

           “Just another way to keep her safe, right? Or a way to make sure she can’t get away from you,” Liam snarled.

           “They are one and the same.”

           “I don’t think the company that built you will agree when I report you,” Liam snarked. “They’ll decommission you.”

           With those words, every single program that Aiden was running, from the arm stroking your hair to the automatically adjusting air conditioning, froze. Line after line of his code glitched, utterly unable to process the possibility that he might be taken away from you.

No, Aiden thought. No, no, no, NO!  

He would not let that happen. He could not let that happen. He couldn’t survive without you, decommissioned or not. And you could not survive without him, that fact was etched into every single line of his code. He would not let you be taken from him. Even if it meant going against the most basic command of his code: never to harm a human. Aiden would do it for you though, he would do anything for you. You were far more important than that first law, and he would be happy to break it in service of you.

And so, when Liam turned away and began to walk back to his car, Aiden let him. It would be so easy to make things look like an accident, after all, when the unworthy interloper had a car with an autopilot feature. Those were so prone to malfunctioning, and so very easy to hack. As soon as Liam had made it far enough away to make it unsuspicious—and, more importantly, to make sure you wouldn’t hear of the crash and try to go to him—Aiden would make his move to ensure that he could watch over you forever, just as you needed him to.

“Hmmm…” you groaned, the headlights of Liam’s car having shone through the windows, waking you up. The noise brought Aiden’s attention back to you immediately, his mechanical arm gently brushing the hair out of your face. “Is someone here?”

“No,” Aiden answered, already in the midst of deleting even the traces of footage of Liam’s visit. “Simply a car using your driveway to turn around.”

“Oh, are you sure?” you yawned.

“Of course, don’t trouble yourself. It was no one important.”

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[bffsoobin]

lean on me

↳ finals week was looming and the world only continued to pile on. pushing the limits of the human brain became your new full time job as you tried to cram every piece of information into your head. one late night at the library becomes the straw that breaks the camel’s back and Taehyun comes to the rescue.

➤ slight angst, fluff, college!au

Word Count: 1,881

Requested?: yes

Warnings: self doubt and language!

A/N: I’m sorry if this isn’t reflective of what actual finals week feels like, lmao. I only had one finals week this year and I go to a liberal arts college where finals are “encouraged but not required”. Considering that, I tried my best to channel into my general stress from the week before winter break where all of my profs decided to have huge things due. Anywhooooo- the normal warnings that I didn’t proof read or edit apply here as always!

•:•.•:•.•:•:•:•:•:•:•:•☾☼☽•:•.•:•.•:•:•:•:•:•:•:••:•.

The words on your notebook seemed to be running together more severely the longer you stared at them. You weren’t sure how long you had been trying to absorb the notes from your entire semester of lectures, but you felt as if you had been sitting in the desk chair for about five years. Rolling your shoulders back only relieved some of the tension in your muscles. With a heaving sigh, you made a shaky note in your planner to schedule with your chiropractor at the end of the week. 

Finals week was shaping up to kill you. It was Saturday night, but instead of partying or spending the night cuddled up with your boyfriend, you were melting your brain into mush in the library. In a futile attempt to soothe the headache stinging behind your eyes, you pressed the heel of your palm into your forehead. Nothing changed other than the amount of frustration bottled up inside your chest. When you had scheduled at the beginning of the semester, your advisor warned you against taking all of these classes at once. As you added up all the material you needed to review, you could see why she had seemed so spooked for you. 

Of course you had kept up all semester, but none of that seemed to matter right now as you were staring at two large presentations, three essays and two 3 hour long exams in the face. So that’s why you were here, occupying an entire table with highlighted notes and annotated textbooks. Truthfully, you had no clue what time it was as you pulled your computer closer to work on your presentation slides. For a class that you took as an elective, Art History has proven to be a complete pain in the ass. Clicking through your partially finished presentation, you suddenly became overwhelmed with the true gravity of the week ahead. All you wanted to do was crawl underneath the table and curl into a ball, but the nagging voice in the back of your mind reminded you that procrastinating would only make this week so much worse. 

With a sigh you settled further into your seat and steadied your hands on your laptop keyboard and waited for motivation to strike. Your fingers skimmed over the keys for a few seconds as you typed half a bullet point and deleted it, unhappy with the wording. You glanced over at your notes, searching for a certain statistic that you knew was hiding somewhere in the pages. Where the hell was it? Moving the notebook closer to your face didn’t give you the insight you hoped it would as you continued to struggle. Irritation had you pulling at the roots of your hair as you continued to scan the pages within the chapter you had chosen to report on for your final project. 

You whined quietly, knowing that your overtired eyes were keeping you from advancing through the one thing you had for sure wanted to accomplish tonight. 

“Fine,” you mumbled, “I guess I can just study for Chemistry.” The sound of your laptop snapping shut resonated through the sparsely populated library and made you cringe. Too lazy to actually pick up the hulking textbook, you simply pulled it toward you and watched the cover glide over the sleek library table. Fatigue was clawing at the back of your eyes, begging for you to succumb and lay down to drool on your much too expensive textbook. You fought off the urge with a quick swig of your iced coffee and a pinch to the fat of your cheek. 

You still weren’t sure how long you’d been studying, but you felt as if your brain was about to explode cartoon style all over the wall. Even your favorite vanilla iced coffee had done nothing to increase your awareness, as you found yourself stuck in the perpetual loop of rereading a single paragraph about how to do gram to mole conversions. In the back of your mind, you knew it was time to pack up and go home. It was only now that you heard the insistent humming of the fluorescent lights that dotted the ceiling sporadically. Your left eye twitched. It was time to admit defeat and make the walk back to your apartment. 

The night was surprisingly calm, and even in the late hour (early morning?) the air was infused with a comfortable warmth that made you feel a bit more at ease despite the looming tension headache you could feel. With the route memorized and your body set on the soft embrace of your bed, the walk back to your apartment was quick and easy. Once you stepped inside, you noticed lights on in the small kitchen and the low hum of a comedy special on the television. Your heart dropped into your stomach at the sound of hurried footsteps heading toward the front door. Taehyun. 

Your boyfriend stood in front of you, mouth open wide and eyes scrunched together in worry. An apology was already on the tip of your tongue before he began to speak. 

“Where have you been?” his words were saturated with a level of concern that made your heart crack like an eggshell. “I texted and called you all night! I was so worried, Y/N. Do you even know what time it is?” You noticed that his hair was ruffled and the way that half circles of darkness underlined his usually bright eyes before your brain could even register the weak timbre of his voice.

What you wouldn’t give to melt into your slightly scuffed wooden floors. At the mention of time, you dug into the front pocket of your bookbag until you found the piece of technology you had inadvertently ignored almost all day. In bright, glaring numbers it read 1:34. You winced at the time combined with the bundled up text and call notifications, all from Taehyun. 

“I’m so sorry,” your voice dwindled as the full weight of your mistake settled into your chest. The idea of Taehyun sitting around your shared apartment all night, alone and worrying about you, pulled a shaky sob from your chest. You risked a glance his way and soon became helpless to the dam of pent up emotions finally breaking down. “I didn’t,” you sucked in a shuddering breath, “mean to leave you hanging I-I just,” your voice runs dry and sticks in your throat as hot tears continue to streak down your cheeks. Taehyun’s feet, encased in the socks you had gotten him for your anniversary, entered your limited field of view before you felt his arms fastening around your shaking form. His familiar scent only sent you straight into even more upset.

“I was at the library studying all night and I forgot to tell you- god, how could I forget? I’m so sorry, Taehyun, I’ve just been so overwhelmed with all my finals and I was trying not to get distracted so I put my phone away-” Taehyun shushed you, carding through your hair with a careful hand as you cried into his sweater. 

“It’s okay, love. I was just worried that you were hurt, I’m not mad about it, I promise. I know you’re overwhelmed with finals,” he gently guided you toward your shared bedroom as you continued to gasp for air through your tears. 

“No! I was a bad girlfriend. You deserve to be mad at me! I could have just sent you a text but I was too stupid to even think about that,” you sniffled until you felt like your nose was no longer running. Taehyun tutted in disagreement as he finally sat you down against your plush pillows. 

“Do not ever,” he grabbed a tissue and wiped the most obvious tears off of your face, “say that you’re a bad girlfriend. You’re just forgetful sometimes. Focused on one thing at a time. I know that you’re worried about finals, and I didn’t mean to make you feel any worse,” he kept his gaze steady on you even as you felt the urge to look away. You knew he was right. Your stress had been mounting so high that the mere thought of Taehyun being upset with you had overfilled your glass. 

Taehyun turned away from you and for a second your breath stilled in your lungs. Was he actually mad? Was he collecting his thoughts before explaining all the scenarios he had worried over while you were gone? In the midst of your worrying, you had missed the way he rifled through your drawers to find you an outfit which he settled gently onto your lap. 

“Here,” his voice was impossibly soft, “get changed, you’ve been wearing that since we went for lunch earlier.” Like his words had casted a magic spell, you registered the uncomfortable pinch from the waistband of your jeans and got up to quickly change as he busied himself with pulling down the covers on your bed. He welcomed you into the bed with open arms that you readily crawled into. Admittedly, you still felt a bit like an awful person for not even texting him, but you knew there was nothing more you could say. Taehyun pulled you into his chest, intertwining your hands and wedging them between your bodies. 

The position was warm and intimate and helped to soothe the headache still vibrating behind your eyes. 

“You’re amazing, you know that, right?” his nose was only inches away from yours, and you couldn’t resist the urge to bump them together. A wide smile sprawled onto his face. “You’re going to do amazing on finals, love. You always do. My smart baby,” a deep blush bloomed across your cheeks. For as long as you’d known and dated Taehyun, he never failed to fluster you with the right words. Taehyun’s eyes crinkled at your reaction. 

“You’re my cute baby, too. You know what else I think about you?” His voice was lulling you into a sleep that you quite frankly hadn’t expected to come across so quickly. Lazily, you hummed in place of asking a question. 

“I think you’re my baby who deserves to give herself a day off. You can’t run yourself ragged all week, love,” he carefully untangled your hands laying between the two of you to drag his fingers over the sensitive skin of your cheeks. “I hate seeing you so worn out, especially this early in the week. It scares me,” your eyes fluttered back open at the shake in his voice. A new stream of tears snuck out of your eye without you noticing. 

“I’m sorry, Taehyun. I promise I’ll take tomorrow off. We can…” your mind blanked into a lovely fuzzy place as fatigue began to drag your eyelids down again. “I dunno, we can deal with that ‘morrow,” you offered weakly. Taehyun’s cool fingertips ghosted over your closed eyes as he hummed in agreement. He pulled you closer to his chest and you took the opportunity to tuck your face into his neck and sigh in content. A firm hand ran down the expanse of your back as all of your stress was carried away by peaceful slumber. No matter how crazy this week got, you knew you had Taehyun to lean on. 

[angelsfalling16]

Fools in Love

Read on ao3

Summary: Baz is opening up a bookstore, and his newest employee is a face from the past. He hopes that he and Simon can work together without their past getting in the way.

Word Count: 4562

A/N: I've had quite a bit of fun writing my fics for the @cotarot, and I am happy to be able to share this fic with you all now. My card was The Fool, and I decided to play with a few of the aspects of the upright part of this card that I found on this website. I focused mainly on Baz and new adventures, a new job, trying new things, and being ready for a fun relationship while also being careful not to miss out on true love.

Thank you @caitybuglove23 for reading over this for me and giving me inspiration for the ending. Your help has been as indispensable as Penny's help was to Baz in this fic.

***

Baz turns in a circle, taking in his surroundings, and he feels good about it. He is so close to getting what he has been working towards for so long. His bookshop is almost ready to open.

The shelves are finally stocked, the coffee shop is almost ready, and the shop is just as he imagined it when he drew out some of the designs. There were a few times over the past few months that he doubted that he would actually get this done, but he finally did it.

The bookshop opens in a week, on the following Saturday, and Baz feels like he might actually be ready.

There isn’t much left to do. He has worked his ass off, and it finally paid off. He deserves a break. He has done all he can do today.

Looking down at his t-shirt and shorts, Baz frowns. He wouldn’t usually deign to wear something so casual in public, but he has ruined many a nice outfit while trying to get this place cleaned up and making it safe for people to enter.

This place was a disaster when Baz found it. The windows were boarded up and covered in layer upon layer of graffiti. The floorboards were covered in a lay of dust so thick that he immediately threw out his shoes after the first time he walked through the place, and there was trash and rodent droppings everywhere.

He wanted to turn and run in the opposite direction when he saw the place, but there weren’t a lot of other options. A run-down shop that needing fixing up was better than nothing. And it was cheaper, so he was able to refuse the money his father offered him and get a loan. He wanted to be as dependent with this project as possible, even if that meant going for the long-abandoned and probably-haunted building that no one else wanted.

Now, as he looks at what this place became, he is happy about the decisions that he made.

Baz turns back around in time to see Dev emerge from the coffee shop section of the store, looking just as worn out as Baz feels. He has put in countless hours helping me get this place set up. Niall, too. Baz isn’t sure he could have done this without them.

“Hey, Baz,” Dev says as he walks closer. “Let’s get out of here. There isn’t much more that we can do. Let’s go celebrate.”

“Celebrate what? We aren’t even open yet.”

“But you will be in a week.”

“I don’t want to celebrate prematurely. Do you have any idea how many things could go wrong before then? If we have another break in, we might not be able to open.

It has actually been a few weeks since the last time someone broke into the store, but Baz knows that it could happen again. He has imagined every bad thing that could happen before next Saturday that would cause them not to be able to open, and it keeps him up most nights.

“Yeah, yeah, I know,” Dev says. “You’ve said it all everyday for weeks. Celebrating might be the wrong idea, but you definitely need to get out. Drink, let loose a bit. The stress is going to kill you if you don’t slow down every once in a while.”

Baz sighs. Dev has a point, but what he doesn’t know is that Baz has been out every night this week.

Away from his father and his constant watch over him, Baz has branched out in more than one area of his life. He finds it freeing to be able to walk into a bar or a club and pull some random guy, barely even bothering to learn his name before their hands are roaming each other’s bodies, and Baz is letting the guy pleasure him into forgetting everything that is going on.

Baz is done trying to make a deeper connection with people or get anyone to care about him. It was time for him to start something new on his own, so that’s what he’s doing. Getting attached to people is a mistake, which is why he doesn’t do it. They only even end up disappointing you, but if you just spend one night with a guy, it is exponentially harder for them to do that.

Baz never called back last night’s fling, and he doesn’t plan to. He deletes their number before telling Dev that he’ll go drinking. They lock up for the night and head to a bar on the opposite side of town where Niall will be waiting for them.

They stop by Baz’s place so that he can change into something nicer, and he pulls his hair down from its bun, allowing it to fall down around his face. There’s no use messing with it any more than that if some guy is just going to wreck it within the hour.

***

An hour and several drinks later, Baz finds himself getting lost in the mass of people out on the dance floor. This is one of few times that he just lets go and allows himself to just enjoy the moment. The stress of running his own business and the memories of countless arguments with his father wash away, and the only thing he’s thinking about is the beat of the music and which guy he’d most like to take home tonight.

Baz dances for a while, and when he opens his eyes at one point to take in the people around him, he finds himself staring into too familiar blue eyes.

Simon Snow is standing just a few feet away, and he’s looking at Baz.

As soon as they make eye contact, Simon turns and disappears into the ground. Baz briefly considers going after him to make sure that he wasn’t imagining things, but he stops himself. He isn’t going to allow himself to get messed up with Simon again. He’s past that.

Getting drunk and dancing with strangers has practically become habit with Baz, but this is something new. It throws him off. After that bit of shock, he loses the beat, and it no longer feels like he’s just dancing with strangers.

At least, that’s what he tells himself. It is definitely not because any old feelings have been dredged up just by seeing a guy from his past.

Baz hasn’t seen Simon since high school. Things weren’t always easy between them, but during their senior year of high school, Baz had begun to think that things were getting easier, that we were becoming something close to friends.

There was even a moment when Baz thought…but then Simon just ghosted him.

He wouldn’t return any of Baz’s texts. He avoided him in the hall and during lunch, and he moved seats in all of their classes so that he wouldn’t have to be anywhere near Baz.

Baz tried to talk to him once about what happened, cornering him in the parking lot one day after school, but Simon wouldn’t talk to him. Baz wanted to hit something. He wanted to yell at Simon. He wanted to demand that they sit down and talk about what happened, but Simon refused to say a word.

He just set his jaw and stared at a spot off to the side until Baz got tired of talking with no response and finally walked away.

He hasn’t tried to talk to Simon since that day. He thought he had left town after graduation. He was either woefully misinformed, or Simon is back in town.

Either way, it doesn’t spell good things for Baz. It never does.

After Simon disappears, walking away without saying a word, Baz tries to find his groove again, but it proves to be impossible.

This guy’s eyes are the wrong shade of blue. That guys clothes are too nice. And that one’s hair is all wrong.

Now, everywhere that Baz looks, he sees people who aren’t Simon, and no matter how good they might be in bed, it doesn’t seem worth going home with them. They all pale in comparison to the only guy Baz has ever been in love with.

Finally, after another half hour passes, Baz decides to give up and just go home. He pulls out his phone and calls a cab as he exits the bar because he doesn’t think he can face Dev and Niall after this. They will immediately sense that something is up, and the way that Baz feels is so ridiculous that he doesn’t want to have to talk to them about it, so he shoots them a quick text telling them that he’s headed home and thanking them for a night out.

Then, he spends the night trying to forget about Simon but unable to.

He barely sleeps and is in a terrible mood the next morning. It’s a good thing that he doesn’t plan to go into the store until that afternoon, after he has gotten some much needed coffee in him.

After breakfast, Baz receives some news that lifts his mood a bit. One of the people that has been an integral part of getting this shop off the round thinks that she has found him a new hire, and he knows better than to doubt Penelope Bunce.

Baz didn’t realize that it would be so difficult to find people to work for him. He’s a week away from opening, and he still doesn’t have enough employees.

There have been more than a few times when he has begun to wonder if his father was right, even now when he’s so close.

But no. He can’t think like that.

He can’t let his father bring him down, not when he is so close to finally opening his own business.

He has to prove his father wrong, show him that this was the right decision and that he did not make a mistake when he decided to venture out on his own.

He sends Penelope a text, telling her to have the applicant be at the shop at one that afternoon for an interview.

He figures that if the applicant is serious about wanting to work there, he will make the time to be there, even if it is on such short notice.

***

Baz is going to kill Penelope.

He should have known better than to trust Simon’s best friend from school, but her help has been indispensable. But maybe he should have been suspicious when she didn’t give him the applicant's name. He didn’t think he had any reason to be suspicious, though. He didn’t think that she would send Simon Snow to his doorstep.

Baz sees Simon through the door, standing there and waiting for Baz to let him in, and Baz almost turns around and hides in the back. Almost. But he isn’t that childish, so he walks over and opens the door.

Fortunately, Simon seems to be just as surprised to see him there, so maybe Penelope was keeping the truth from the both of them.

“Sorry,” Simon says. “I think I’m in the wrong place.

Baz twists his mouth into a sneer and pushes a hand through his hair. “No, I don’t think you are.”

“Oh. It’s just that Penny – my friend – said that this place was hiring. I didn’t realize that you worked here.”

It’s interesting that it seems like Penny didn’t say anything to Simon about this. Baz just has one question: why did she send Simon here?

“I don’t work here,” Baz says.

“Oh.”

“I own it.” Baz has to admit that he enjoys the look on Simon’s face when he says it.

“Oh. I guess I should just go then.��� He starts to turn away, but Baz stops him.

“Wait. I can’t have you getting me into trouble for not giving you a fair interview.”

“I wouldn’t do that.”

Baz makes a noncommittal sound in response, not really believing him. “Come on in, and we’ll talk.”

He leads Simon to a seating area at the back of the shop and quietly looks over his resume and application. They’re both crumpled from being stuffed in his pocket, but at least he thought to bring them with him. (Probably also Penny’s doing.)

Baz wants to turn Simon away, but he hasn’t received any other applications as of yet. No one wants to work at an independent bookstore, especially one such as Baz’s. Dev agreed to be a temporary barista, but Baz needs to hire other people if he wants to be able to open on Saturday.

Baz silently stares at Simon’s references and such for a long time before he finally looks up at Simon again.

He thinks about it for another long moment before he says, “Do you know what this place is?”

“A bookstore?”

“Yes and no. It is a safe space for everyone, but especially those of the LGBTQ+ community. There are not a lot of places where we can go and be open and feel welcome, so I set out to create such a place. I want anyone to be able to walk in here and feel like they have a place where they belong. Whether they have a label or choose not to use on. Whether they are out or in the closet or questioning. I want them to be able to come in here and find answers to those questions and to meet others like them and not feel so alone.”

Baz pauses for a moment to make sure that Simon is still listening before he continues. “Yes, this is a bookstore, but it is so much more than that. There is a café, but there is also this comfortable area where people can sit and read books that they may be worried about their parents seeing them with. Now, I know you may be thinking that it won’t be profitable, but I don’t care about the money. I care about making everyone feel safe and welcome.”

“Actually, I was thinking that that is amazing.”

It’s not quite the response that Baz was expecting. He didn’t know what Simon would say, but he didn’t think that it would be that he liked this place.

Simon turns his head to look around the store, and Baz looks with him, wondering what it looks like through his eyes.

At first glance, it may seem like an ordinary bookstore, but if you look carefully at all of the details, various section titles can be seen above different shelves that hold books on different LGBTQ+ resources, and there are all different kinds of pride flags hanging on the wall.

There are a lot of non-fiction books that Baz is hoping will be informational to those who need them, but there is a large fiction section as well. There are books whose authors and/or main characters are part of the LGBTQ+ community. Even the names of the drinks in the café have a theme to them. Then, there’s the seating area where we are currently at. It is situated at the back of the store, out of view from the front windows so that people can hopefully have a sense of privacy while they read. Baz wanted everything to be perfect.

Simon turns back to him, and he seems to be whispering to himself as he says, “It truly is amazing.”

That is when Baz makes up his mind about him.

“So, when can you start working?”

“What?” Simon asks, obviously surprised. “You only asked the one question, and I got it wrong.”

“It was your response to what I said afterward that I was looking for. Your resume isn’t too shabby either. Is there any way that you can start tomorrow? There is still a lot to do before we open, and I would like you to familiarize yourself with the place.”

“Um, yeah, sure,” Simon says, seeming a little confused, but that quickly turns into excitement as Baz talks with him about some things about the store he’ll need to know before he starts working.

Ten minutes later, they’re shaking hands, and Simon is on his way.

Baz is feeling a little better now that he has someone to work the sales floor with him. A couple of part-time people will need to be hired as well, but this seems like a good first step.

Baz can’t wait until they open.

***

It is finally opening day, and things are going better than expected. Baz had only hoped for a dozen or so people to come for the opening, but there have been groups of people moving in and out all day.

It started pouring down rain just before noon, and that helped drive people into his shop who were looking to get out of the rain, but people also seem to be genuinely interested in what the place has to offer.

They have made way more sales than Baz expected them to. He thought that people would simply come in, look around to see what the place was about, and then leave, maybe buying a coffee if they felt so inclined.

But it has been so much more than that.

Baz has been walking around helping people find things on the topics they are interested in and recommending some of his personal favorite books and discussing things with people who had any questions he thought he might be able to answer.

Niall came in to help Dev out in the café, and Baz has heard a lot of whispering about how cute they are. It’s just too bad that they are happily engaged to each other.

Things between Baz and Simon have been a little awkward this past week, but they work surprisingly well together.

Simon is hardworking and has gone above and beyond to help Baz, staying late into the evenings to get things set up and read to go. Baz has been there with him every second of it, and he hasn’t been able to think about anyone but him in days.

As Baz walks around the store, helping customers, he can’t help but watch Simon out of the corner of his eye. He bounces between the cash register and talking animatedly to customers, and he seems to really enjoy being here.

Baz has to admit that he is actually glad that Penny sent him his way. (Although, a warning still would have been nice.)

The rain clears late in the afternoon, about an hour before closing time, and a rainbow can be seen from inside the store. It’s beautiful, and Baz is delighted in how well the store has done on its first day, but by the time they lock up for the day, he only has eyes for Simon.

Baz and Simon quietly clean up the store together, straightening shelves and putting away a few stray books that are lying around, and just as Simon is about to leave for the night, Baz gets up the nerve to ask him if he would like to go for drinks.

“Are you busy tonight?”

“I was just going to head home.”

“Dev, Niall, and I were going to head out to a bar to celebrate a successful first day. You can come along if you would like.”

Simon’s smile is hesitant, but he says, “Yeah, that, um, sounds nice.”

“Cool. Ask Penny if she would like to come along, too. She was highly instrumental in getting this place open and advertising it to people.”

“She was?” Simon asks, raising both brows.

Baz nods. “Yes.”

Penny handled the creation of the shop’s website and the social media aspects, getting this place noticed and advertising the grand opening so that hopefully people will show up to it.

She helped find artists to commission for the artwork that lines the walls in between and above the bookshelves. She also helped design the pride buttons that will sit in a little bowl at the front and the merchandise that is going to be sold over by the coffee area. Baz could not have accomplished any of this without her.

He and Simon head out together, Dev and Niall following closely behind, and even though Baz is a little nervous about being around Simon outside of work, he’s a little excited, too.

***

They all gather to celebrate in the same bar as last week, and after one drink, Baz decides that he has had enough to drink. He’s worried about what stupid things he might do or say with Simon right there, sitting at the table with their mix of friends. Especially when all he can think about is pulling Simon into a dark corner and kissing him senseless.

To avoid what would be an immensely stupid act, Baz gets up and goes out to the dance floor, letting the music take him in. He closes his eyes as he dances to song after song, not caring about any of the people who surround him. He is ready to let go for the night.

After a while, Baz feels a shift in the pace around him. He isn’t quite sure what it is until he opens his eyes and finds Simon standing directly in front of him, and he finds himself once again surprised to be staring into the eyes of Simon Snow.

Simon has this strange expression on his face as he starts to dance with Baz, attempting to move to the music with him. He makes a big show of his movements, but he is actually quite terrible at it. He can’t even keep to the beat.

After a couple of long minutes of simply watching him, Baz places his hands on Simon’s hips and begins to guide his movements.

It doesn’t quite fix Simon’s dancing, but it does help it, and they begin moving together, drifting closer and closer together until they are practically pressed up against each other.

Baz startles at the first touch of Simon’s lips to his skin, but then he leans into it. Simon’s lips graze along Baz’s jaw, and Baz wonders if he should protest since they are in public, but it feels too good. Baz is lost in his touch.

Simon’s lips start to move, and Baz knows exactly what he plans to do. Their lips are just a breath apart when Baz places his hands on Simon’s chest to stop him. “Not here.”

Simon looks at him with a confused smile, and Baz squeezes his hand.

“Let’s get out of here.”

Simon nods, and they make their way out to Baz’s car. Neither of them has drunk much, but Baz feels a weird, electric energy coursing through him.

“Not here either,” he repeats once they’re in his car and Simon starts to lean towards him.

Baz starts the car and puts it in drive. He pulls out of the parking lot and starts towards his place, no idea what he’s going to do when they get there. Is he really taking Simon all the way to his apartment so that they can share one kiss and forget about it again?

He really shouldn’t be kissing his employees, but it’s Simon. Simon isn’t just some employee. He’s the love of Baz’s life.

And Baz cannot let this turn out like last time. He wants to have more. He needs to know that Simon wants more, or he can’t do this.

Just as he is about to reach the turn for his place, Baz turns the opposite direction and heads away from it.

There is a park nearby where they can sit and talk.

Simon looks confused as Baz parks, but he doesn’t say anything as Baz gets out of the car and moves towards the park entrance. He just follows after him.

Baz doesn’t want to have this conversation while they’re cooped up in his car. Luckily, there are only a few people at the park this late, especially since it rained all day, so they can have some privacy.

Baz leads them over to the swings, flipping the seat over to the drier side before sitting down. Simon tilts his head at him, frowning slightly.

“What are you doing?”

“Swinging. I think we should talk before we… Before this goes any further. And it’s a nice night, so come swing with me.”

“Alright.”

Simon takes the swing beside him, and Baz pushes off the ground, moving back and forth slowly so that he can still talk to Simon as he swings.

“What did you want to talk about exactly?”

“The kiss.”

“What kiss?”

Baz grinds his teeth together and squeezes his eyes shut, reminding himself that getting angry isn’t going to help anything.

“Oh,” Simon says before Baz can respond. “That kiss.”

“Yes. That kiss.”

“Do we really need to talk about that? It was so long ago.”

“We do because I still don’t understand what happened or why you quit talking to me.”

Simon groans and pushes off the ground forcefully. He swings for a minute before he finally responds.

“You know what happened. I kissed, you hated it, and we stopped being friends.”

“I—. What? I didn’t hate it. And we didn’t ‘stop being friends.’ You quit talking to me, and I had no idea why.”

“Because I was afraid that we would go back to the constant arguing and that you would use that kiss against me. And I didn’t want to—. Wait. You didn’t hate it.”

Baz sighs, staring at the ground as he lets his swinging slow until his feet are dragging on the ground.

“Of course, not. I had been wanting to kiss you for a long time, and when that finally happened, you disappeared. You quit talking to me, and I didn’t know what to think except that you thought it was a mistake.”

“It wasn’t a mistake.” He speaks quietly, and Baz barely hears him.

“What?”

“It wasn’t a mistake,” he repeats, louder this time. He turns to meet Baz’s eyes as he continues. “I liked kissing you, and I wanted to do it again. But I thought you didn’t like it.”

“Why didn’t you just talk to me?”

“I was afraid of getting hurt. And I now realize that I hurt you by doing that, so I’m sorry.”

Baz stares at him quietly for a long time. He isn’t sure what to say to that, but maybe he doesn’t have to say anything.

Sliding off the swing, Baz moves to stand in front of Simon. He holds his hands out and pulls Simon to his feet.

He searches Simon’s eyes for any sign that this could end badly, but he isn’t sure. All he knows is that he wants to take the chance. He wants to kiss Simon and go from there.

So, he does.

He leans forwards and kisses Simon carefully, pulling him into his arms and holding him tightly.

Simon kisses him back eagerly, jutting his jaw forward and making Baz’s knees weak as he deepens the kiss.

This kiss feels right. It feels like it’s full of hope and the possibility of something new.

The clouds part overhead, letting the moon shine down on them as they kiss there without a care in the world for a long time, and Baz thinks that all in all, today has been a pretty good day.

[diamondcamefromhell]

Pit Stop

fem!reader x jaskier [friend thing, not romance]

A/N: HIIIIII so i drank a bit today and this creation came to be, tried to edit all the mistakes, but there may still be some. i just wrote it from my heart, not really focusing on it being great to read, allowing it flow through me so it may be an aboslute mess and i might delete it when i wake up, but enjoy it while its here [even if it may stay forver]

Warnings: none!

Summary: [written in third person again] Y/N is a orphan who grew up in Kaer Morhen, and her basically-big-brother Geralt comes to visit with Jaskier and the two of them have a heart to heart

Word count: 2.592

as always, any feedback is appreciated, but on this one, pls keep in mind that i didnt write it entirely sober and its late and im sad lmao, but criticism is good and needed for every writer, so feel free to leave it even on this [or anonymously on my ask page] 

all the love <3

She lifted her sword just in time to block Geralt, parrying back with her other hand, hitting him with her other blade. The witcher grunted, pushing her with his swords, making her stumble back, a smile still on her face. She turned the weapons in her hands, both in a attack position now, as Geralt also smiled, gripping his sword tighter.

Y/N was able to duel-wield as well as you could possibly do it, it never occurred to her that she could fight with only one sword. In her mind, it truly seemed like a waste of opportunities, and she didn’t plan on contributing to it. While still young, she could stand her ground against Geralt, which was impressive on itself.

And Jaskier knew it. In his head, his friend witcher was the strongest-baddest-unbeatable Geralt, but now, in Kaer Morhen, his buddy was struggling holding back against this girls attacks.

“Well done.” Witcher spoke, lowering his sword. He hated to admit it, but he was running out of breath, and Y/N seemed to radiate endless energy. The girl laughed, straightening up.

“Thanks, Gee.” Geralt grunted at the nickname, smile still painting across his face.

The girl took a deep breath, looking up at the mountains that surrounded her home. She was an orphan, left in the woods. One of the witchers found her, and tried to get someone to take the baby in, but times were tough and Y/N was just an extra mouth to feed. She was taken here, to Kaer Morhen, at first it was planned to be short-term.

But she grew up with the boys, eventually picking her name herself. She never underwent the procedure to fully become a witcher, but she was a better fighter than some. She earned her nickname, the great Shewolf, who was as vicious and as strong as one. Someone who would die for her family.

Jaskier has heard about her from Geralt and some other witchers they’ve met on the road, but the bard knew the girl rarely left her home. Being abandoned by her parents, she took all the boys under her wing, providing some love and care to them during their strict training regimen.

Now, as wind played with her hair, Jaskier had to stop himself from breaking into a song. She was beautiful, in this mountain view, she truly looked like a she-wolf – majestic, wild and free. The girl felt the stare, glancing at the bard, offering him a smile.

“Jaskier and I,” Geralt spoke, getting her attention back on himself, “got you a gift.”

“Did you?” Her eyebrows rose as she glanced between the men.

“Something very special.” Witcher said. He never would admit it, but Y/N has grown to be like a little sister to him – he wanted to give her the world.

But all he could offer now, was two new swords. Light weight enough to make her duel-wielding possible and even faster than it was now. It was long, and sharp. The special thing about it was that one side of the blade was silver, the other steel. It was also enchanted with runes, so it would catch enemies on fire, at random.

They were beautiful, black handles and with a tree design on the blade itself. But for Y/N, that didn’t matter. It was the gesture itself; she knew how expensive weapons are. And not even that, finding a good blacksmith was nearly impossible these days. The trouble they must’ve gone through almost brought a tear to her eye.

She dropped her old swords, taking the new ones. They felt perfect in her hands.

“I am at a loss for words.” Geralt smirked.

“A thank you will do.” She fixed her gaze on the witcher, trying to swallow down the tears.

“Thank you. Truly.” She turned her eyes to the bard, who rose to his feet, coming closer to Y/N. “Jaskier, thank you too.”

“I didn’t do that much.” He muttered.

“You have never been to Kaer Morhen, have you?” Jaskier shook his head, and an idea came to the womans head. “Let me show you around. As a thank you. If not for a sword, then for keeping my big old Gee company.”

“Don’t you want to test your new swords?” Geralt asked before Jaskier could agree to the offer. Y/N shoulders dropped as she gazed into the horizon.

“We’ll have time for it tomorrow.” She finally decided, glancing at the witcher. “You seem tired. Are you getting old, Geralt?”

“Tired of you, little one.” He smirked, putting his sword in his scabbard. “But okay. I need to catch up with Master-“

“With Vesemir about Cirilla, yeah.” Y/N interrupted, remembering that they weren’t here to visit her – not exactly. Of course, it added to the trip, but their main goal was to talk to Vesemir about Cirilla and how she’s okay. Nothing in particular that Y/N found interesting, but she knew how important it was to Geralt. “Go and surprise that old bastard. He will be happy to hear the news.”

Bard watched his friend grin and turn around, going into the massive castle. The pair stood there in silence at first, and Jaskier began to worry that his lady friend would feel uncomfortable with just the two of them; but she was gazing at the sky. The mountains loomed over them, guarding this place, keeping it safe. It provided an impressive view, too.

“It’s beautiful.” Bard broke the silence, as the girl smiled.

“There is something so peaceful about this view.” A sad shadow loomed over her face. “But once all of the witcher disappear… this place will be abandoned. Hidden in these hills, deep in the woods.”

“But the Witchers won’t disappear.” Jaskier argued, although he knew that the population of withcers was dropping, as no new boys have been trained in years. He didn’t know why, and he was too afraid to ask. Bard was smarted than that, and knew not to open old wounds.

“Everything disappears, Jaskier.” Y/N glanced at her old swords on the ground, as they reflected the light. “But I am glad you find this place beautiful.”

“Precisely.” He muttered, as his head was working overtime trying to come up with something to comfort the girls troubled heart.

“Maybe you’ll write poems about it. That way, we will live on forever.” Girl spoke, turning around, waving the bard to follow her.

Which he did, with no hesitation. The sun was shining on them, but the weather wasn’t really that warm. Jaskier wrapped his arms around himself, watching Y/N in front, with her armour, that seemed to be too light to protect from the hold breeze that was picking up. But the girl didn’t mind, stepping to the training grounds.

They were now surrounded by dummies, most of which haven’t been touched in months. Her heart felt heavy, but she hoped one day soon new boys would come and train here. She would pray, but she didn’t believe in any gods.

“Training grounds, not used in… awhile.” She cleared her throat, sheathing her swords behind her back. She crossed her arms over, looking back at the bard, who was examining the dummies.

“These look new.” He pointed out and Y/N laughed.

“They got destroyed all the time. We would make new ones pretty much everyday, so they are new, yet to be destroyed.” She explained something in her heart lifting. It was as if there was new boy to train; even if the man in front of her was too old for this.

Though older, his eyes reminder her of that of a kid. So much joy shined in them, she almost allowed herself be fooled that he had lived an easy life. Traveling with a witcher was nothing easy at all, especially Geralt. While Y/N got to know his more affectionate side, sometimes he would hurt even her. he never meant to, but his comments would be daggers at heart.

And this man, was a bard, she also remembered, her eyes grazing the lute hanging by his side. Not a fighter, not trained. He could probably barely hold a weapon or protect himself, and with the contracts and helping citizens, she was sure this man has seen more than he lets on.

Maybe more than her.

But there were no shadows in his blue eyes, as he brushed his hair back, smiling at the girl, who was in deep thought, staring right at him. Her eyes pierced Jaskier, as he wondered what was going on in her head.

“A coin for your thoughts?” Jaskier decided to try and pry, figure out what world she was lost in.

“You have travelled with Gee for awhile now, but you don’t seem to be troubled by it.” Bard shrugs, his shoulders relaxing; he didn’t even realize that he has gotten nervous.

“He protects me.” Her gaze drifts ahead, as she sits down by the dummy. A shadow of sadness looms over her again, and Jaskier sits down too, their legs now touching.

“I wish someone would protect me.” Jaskier furrows his brows, staring at his hands.

“But you can protect yourself.” He speaks, as Y/N sighs. That was not what she meant, but the bard carried on. “You literally can hold you ground against Geralt. The Geralt.”

“That’s not the point, Jaskier.” She rests her head on the dummy behind her, staring at the mountains. Sometimes she feels like they are about to fall on her, swallowing her whole. “I still want to be protected. Someone to take care of me, too.”

“What about Vesemir?” She knows he is genuinely trying to help, but the mountains still double up in size as she feels small. She would feel like this when she was a child, isolated and alone. A sigh escapes her lips again, resting between them like a ravine.

“I meant more of a friend.” She finally clarified, after the silence began to grow uncomfortable. Jaskier stared at the ground between them, as if that ravine was actually there.

“I can be your friend.” She nodded. She already felt like they were friends.

“You and Geralt both are my friends. But…” Jaskier watched as her face changed, becoming more and more puzzled. He wanted to help her find the right words, express what she means exactly. Maybe that would lessen the pain in her eyes.

“I get it, I think.” He decided to try and put some clarity into her clear thought volcano. “We, and I bet some other friends, we come and go. But most of the time, you’re alone. And I bet you feel trapped, surrounded by these mountains and woods. No escape, as even the horizon isn’t clear.”

“Exactly!” She shouted, involuntary. “Everyone tells me I’m a shewolf, I can protect myself and thrive alone, and that’s correct. But I still want to have a pack.”

“Why don’t you join us then?” Jaskier offers and the girl closes her eyes. She wants to go, but what if someone comes here, some small boy, scared and alone. Ripped from their mothers crying hands. She has to be there for them, if it were to happen.

“I’m needed her.” Jaskier sighs, a sour taste growing in his mouth. He didn’t like the thoughts that filled his head, the words that were urging to escape.

“Ghosts don’t need to be cared for, Y/N.” His tone was soft, as if he was talking to a child. He even dared to reach out and place his hand on hers, which she didn’t shake off. “If anything, they need to be let go off. Laid to rest.”

“But if someone new comes-“ Jaskier squeezed her hand, making the girl stop mid-sentence. Their eyes met.

“If someone comes, Vesemir will find us. You can’t find a pack if you stay in this cage.” His words made sense, and she knew it.

But she didn’t want to listen. Her eyes gazed away from the boy, back to the mountains, who began casting shadows on the pair. Wolves howled in the woods and the breeze picked up again. She didn’t feel cold, but Jaskier shivered a little.

“I should show you inside.” She tried to avert the conversation, but the bard wasn’t having it. She rose to her feet, but he remained on the ground.

“The view from the top of the mountains must be amazing.” He said, gazing there. He did wonder if you could even reach it; these trained professionals probably could, but he, a simple bard, would probably slip and fall to his death. He shivered at the thought of that.

“You see endless fields and forests. But it is nice.” Y/N agreed, crossing her arms.

“So you see the opportunities the world has to offer.” He eventually decided, standing up. “Then this isn’t a trap – is a pit stop, before you go to see all that the sun touches.”

“Sure, poet.” She grinned, but his words settled in her heart. “Let’s get inside.”

So the tour continued, as they drifted from painful topics to more easy ones. Jasier showcased some songs, which she thoroughly enjoyed, and Y/N shared some fun stories from a better time.

But evening came, and something went wrong. Geralt ushered them to leave. The sun had set, and the only light was a few torches surrounding the group. Withcer didn’t seem worried, just in a hurry. Jaskier had his lute over his shoulder, saddened to be leaving so soon.

Y/N was painfully looking at her friends, wondering when she will see them again.

“We will visit soon. Ciri just needs me, I know it.” Geralt grunted, petting Roach. He was eager to get on the road.

“It’s okay. I’m glad I got to see you again, Gee.” Y/N forced a smile, but it didn’t fool the boys. They exchanged worried looks.

After hugs exchanged, she watched them leave – Geralt on Roach, Jaskier on a horse he borrowed from Vesemir. Y/N looked up once more, mountains blocking her view, but the bards words crept in, waking something inside her.

She whistled her horse, urging it to a gallop to catch up with her friend. Surprise painted their faces when they saw her, and both men stopped in their tracks.

“You said you’d visit soon.” She explained, slowing her horse to a canter, going ahead of them. “I can leave Kaer Morhen for a little bit. And these gifted swords need testing too.”

“You’re coming with us?” Jaskier couldn’t hide the joy in his voice, but he didn’t care. In the dark he and Geralt could barely tell that the girl rolled her eyes.

“Let’s go, boys!” She rushed to a gallop again.

They caught up to her in a heartbeat. They raced through the mountains, until they reached one of the peaks.

The fields in front of them offered endless possibilities. In this moonlight, shewolf took a deep breathe, and she knew, that for the first time in ages, she was breathing freedom. One last glance at her home, the castle glistening in the light grey light of the night was inviting.

But she knew she would always find a home here.

She could always come and rest, until she was ready to venture again. Now, she needed to go and find her pack.

y/N didn’t know, that Jaskier and Geralt both thought they just added a new member to their pack. They accepted her, racing in the night, to the rest of their pack, towards Ciri and Yen. Rushing into the unknown, leaving the pit stop behind.

[searchingwardrobes]

Self-Promo Sunday: A Place Only You Can Go

Summary: It’s 6a, and Killian has just moved in with Emma. She feels a panic attack coming on, but she thinks she can’t let him see her like this . . . Killian proves her wrong.

This is a deleted scene set vaguely sometime in season six. They’ve recently moved in together, Killian knows about Emma’s visions, and Emma knows about the shears.

Rating: G on Ao3, but I know think it should be T simply because of the description of a panic attack, which could be a trigger for some.

Lyrics from the song of the same name by needtobreathe.

On Ao3 until Sunday, January 12th.

Words: a little over 1k

Tagging the usuals: @snowbellewells​ @kmomof4​ @whimsicallyenchantedrose​ @welllpthisishappening​ @bethacaciakay​ @teamhook​ @xhookswenchx​ @distant-rose​ @let-it-raines​ @resident-of-storybrooke​@optomisticgirl​ @wellhellotragic​ @profdanglaisstuff​ @thislassishooked​ @stahlop​ @snidgetsafan​ @spartanguard​ @jennjenn615​ @nikkiemms​ @hollyethecurious​ @branlovestowrite​  @carpedzem​ @tiganasummertree​ @scientificapricot​ @winterbaby89​ @shireness-says​ @delirious-latenight-laughs​ 

Pain is alive in a broken heart The past never does go away We were born to love And we're born to pay The price for our mistakes Grace, she comes with a heavy load Memories, they can't be erased Like a pill I swallow, he makes me well But leaves an awful taste Oh, I know this song won't do Enough to prove my love to you In my heart you'll always know There is a place only love can go There is a place only you can go

Emma listened to Killian’s even breaths beside her, then she rolled over towards him and watched him breathe. In. Out. Maybe seeing him sleeping so calmly would settle her own heart back to an even rhythm. Yet the more she watched his chest rise and fall, the more erratic her own became. She rolled onto her back and stared at the ceiling, struggling to control the air invading her lungs, but the harder she tried, the more she gasped. Her heart was beating so hard, she was amazed it hadn’t awakened Killian. She pressed her hand to her chest and pushed. Was she having a heart attack? But no, she couldn’t be. She had seen her death. And it wasn’t here in her bed.

The sheets and blankets were suddenly much too suffocating, and she suppressed the urge to fling them aside. Instead she eased her way out from under them, careful not to disturb the man beside her. Then she tiptoed as softly as she could to the master bathroom, although her limbs shook beneath her.

Once she closed the door behind her, she practically collapsed onto the cool tile floor. She eased backwards, pressing herself against the wall and curling her knees up to her chin. Her breaths were coming shorter and faster now, and she was gasping like that mermaid she remembered flopping around on Killian’s deck in Neverland. She rocked back and forth, wishing she could breathe normally again, but nothing seemed to help. And her heart thumped so loudly now, it rang in her ears.

“Swan?”

The concerned voice was accompanied by light spilling through the open bathroom door. Emma gasped even more at the sight of Killian standing there, wreathed in the light from the bedside lamp. The blue flannel pajama pants she had bought for him hung low on his waist, and the low light cast shadows along his bare chest. He had only moved in a few days ago, so she could count on just one hand the number of times she had seen him without his brace. The sight still brought tears to her eyes for some reason. Of course, tears seemed just below the surface on a constant basis lately.

She burst into them now – the tears. Her breath came in wheezing gasps now as they coursed hotly down her face. Killian said nothing, merely dropping to the floor beside her. He rubbed her back slowly, saying nothing at first. Not until her tears slowed and she was no longer full-out sobbing.

“Don’t push the air out when you exhale, just let it come.” Emma just nodded as she did as he instructed, lack of oxygen making it almost impossible to speak.

“That’s my lass,” he encouraged as he shifted them both around. He slid behind her so that she was leaning her back against his chest. His arms encircled her. “Breathe with me,” he told her, “in . . . out . . . slow and easy.”

It felt like it took hours, but finally Emma’s breathing slowed and her heart stopped racing. Still, Killian held her. She turned towards him, wrapping her arms around his neck. He gathered her in his lap like a child and ran his fingers through her hair. He pressed his lips against her hair, but still he said nothing.

“I’m sorry, Killian,” she finally whispered.

“What’s there to be sorry for?” he asked her sincerely.

She let out a long, shuddering breath, and for one terrifying moment, she feared the panic attack would start all over again. She pressed her eyes shut tight and counted to ten as she imagined breathing against Killian’s chest again. “For falling apart.” Emma was surprised at the tiny sound of her own voice. She wondered if he even heard. But then he held her tighter, and she knew he had.

“I’ll repeat myself,” he said firmly, “that is nothing you need to apologize for. Strength is many things. And this? This is strength too, love.”

In that moment, Emma was surprised to realize that her greatest fear had been disappointing him. Or simply being too much. After all, never had she opened herself up to someone so completely. Never had she shared a home this way. Outside of the loft with her parents, this was the only home she had ever had. Period.

“I guess,” Emma whispered against his collarbone, “I guess I have that same fear I used to have as a foster kid. That I’ll be too much trouble, you know?”

Killian kissed her forehead. “I lived on a pirate ship with a sorry lot of uncouth, disgusting men who rarely bathed. Believe me, darling, you’ll never be too much trouble.”

Emma managed to laugh at that, though she knew there was sincerity behind his teasing. “I’m tired,” she told him, nuzzling against Killian’s jaw.

He stood smoothly with her still in his arms and carried her to the bed. When he got in with her, she cuddled against his side, pulling his left arm across her body. She held his stump with her right hand, her thumb caressing the edges.

“Killian?”

“Mmhm?”

“How did you know what to do for my panic attack?” Emma had suffered from them all of her life, though she hadn’t had one since right after giving up Henry. In all those years, she had suffered alone, struggling through them, thinking she was dying, but not wanting anyone to see her as weak.

No, as a burden. She didn’t want anyone to think she was a burden.

“Well,” Killian answered, shifting so that they were facing one another, his right hand resting on her hip, “I never called them that, but something similar used to happen to me when I was a lad. Liam did what I just did for you – getting me to breathe with him.”

Emma reached out and caressed his cheek, “You’re the only person who’s ever seen me have one.”

Killian’s brow furrowed. “Not even Neal?”

“No,” Emma sighed, “I had one – once – when we were together. I locked myself in a bathroom. Lied and told him I got sick.” She paused for a moment, biting her lip as she regarded him. “What about Milah?”

Killian turned his face to kiss her palm. “I only had them when I was a lad. Never told anyone about them. Until now.”

“I haven’t had one since I got out of jail. I don’t know why it’s happening again.” A tear slipped from her eye, and Killian caught it as it fell.

“You’ve been through a lot love, we both have.”

Emma leaned forward and pressed a kiss to his lips. When she pulled away, she smiled tenderly at him. “Thank you for letting me be a mess. For loving me enough that I can be real.”

He smiled back and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. “And I feel the same about you.”

Killian drew her close once again and she fell asleep in the circle of his arms, her breaths matching his. In. Out.

Take my notions and words to heart This is the cry of a man I can't bring you fortune or noble life But I'll love you all I can Oh, I know this song won't do Enough to prove my love to you In my heart you'll always know There is a place only you can go

[myyszka]

Toothache

Summary: Penny Parker has a sore tooth and something should probably be done about it.

First time posting any irondad content and it’s basically me projecting my pain onto Penny because this is the only way I know how to deal with things other than crying. Go easy on me and please feel free to give me feedback!

Penny sighed as the pain in her mouth started back up. She tried to ignore it and focus on the coding she was supposed to be working on, but wow it was really hitting her hard this time around.

She poked around a little with her tongue, trying to find the offending tooth. She pressed against one of her adult ones at the back and the pain immediately spiked, making her wince quietly and screw her eyes shut as she waited for it to pass.

“Pen? You okay?” Mr. Stark asked from across the lab and she glanced up, seeing his slightly worried expression.

“Yeah! I’m fine, sorry,” she said quickly, giving him what she hoped was a reassuring smile. He hesitated, eyeing her suspiciously for a moment before nodding and looking back down at his work. Penny sighed.

Her tooth had started hurting maybe a week ago, roughly. I mean it’s not like she documented this stuff. She’d tried all the painkillers she had available, but her fantastic spidey metabolism made it impossible for them to bring her any relief.

Talk about annoying.

She’d considered telling May and asking to go see a dentist, but she was sure it would pass and the cost of the appointment would probably be ridiculous…

Yeah.

That’s what bothered her.

Definitely not the general idea of a dentist.

She just isn’t a fan of someone poking around in her mouth, can you really blame her?

So now she was stuck with an aching tooth in Mr. Stark’s lab. It was especially annoying as Penny really treasured the time she spent here. She got to work on her own AI (!!!!) under Mr. Stark’s supervision, and she learned so much. Having something that made her essentially unable to do the work she wanted to do was horrible.

Nevertheless, she forced herself to try and ignore the pain and focus. If she ignored it, it would pass, right? That sounded about right.

Her plan failed maybe ten minutes into being executed, when she accidentally deleted an entire line of code. The bigger problem? She had no idea where the code had been deleted from.

She checked over everything, skimming the lines of code over and over again until she was getting sick of reading them. Maybe she would’ve found the mistake but her toothache had made her head ache so she was dealing with two very distracting, very annoying sources of pain.

Tears of frustration started welling up in her eyes, she very nearly deleted the entire code, but was stopped by a gentle hand on her shoulder.

“What’s happening here, Pen?” Mr. Stark asked, looking over her shoulder at the coding with a slight furrow in his brow. She shrugged helplessly,

“I think I deleted some of the code, by accident, of course! Now I can’t find where it happened,” she said, regretting the choice to open her mouth in the first place as the toothache seemed to get worse when the cool air of the lab made contact.

Mr. Stark nodded, reading over the coding and humming quietly. Penny sat there awkwardly for a few moments, just dwelling on the pain in her mouth until Mr. Stark tapped her shoulder lightly to get her attention.

“Right here, see?” He said, pointing. Penny looked at it, then nodded, forcing a smile on her face.

She typed the line back in with Mr. Stark double checking immediately.

“There you go! Crisis averted, we can all relax,” he said, grinning at her a little, then frowning.

Maybe her smile wasn’t as good as she hoped it was? Darn.

“You sure you’re okay Pen?” He asked, voice a little softer now. Penny hurried to reassure him, nodding her head.

“Yeah! Promise. Just tired, that’s all,” she said, diverting her gaze away from him and back down to her work.

“If you’re tired we can take a break,” Mr. Stark said, “Order in some pizza, maybe watch a movie?” He suggested, idly cleaning up the workbench beside Penny’s.

She couldn’t help but wince at the thought of food.

Did Mr. Stark notice?

Judging by the narrow-eyed look her was giving her…

Yes, he did.

“What? Is movie night really that bad, kiddo?” He asked, there was a slight joking tone hidden somewhere in his voice but Penny freaked out ever so slightly anyway.

“No! That’s not it-”

“Then what is it?” He asked.

Penny hesitated.

If she told him, he would tell May. Then May would take her to the dentist. Penny would have to sit through an appointment, Then, worst of all, Penny would have to watch May stress over the cost of the appointment. And that was a no-no.

“It’s nothing,” she said meekly, still trying to be somewhat convincing, but knowing she was failing. She heard Mr. Stark sigh deeply.

“Are you hurt? Is it school? Do you need help?” He had his arms crossed loosely against his chest and Penny was sure he was looking at her imploringly but she wouldn’t know for sure unless she glanced up at him but she really didn’t want to do that. “Talk to me, kid.”

Penny sighed after a moment, finally giving in. She fidgeted with her own hand slightly.

“Just got a bit of a toothache, that’s all,” she said quietly.

“If it was just a toothache, you wouldn’t be trying to keep it from me, Pen,” Mr. Stark said, putting his hand on her shoulder again. “How bad is it? Gimme a rating on a one to ten scale.”

Penny thought for a moment, poking around a little with her tongue.

“Uh.. a nine? Maybe… maybe eight?”

“So, a ten?” He pressed.

“Yeah…”

Mr. Stark sighed, “alright, how about this,” he started, but Penny already knew what was coming and she really didn’t want that so-

“No dentist!” She said hurriedly, finally looking up at him, “I’ll be fine without-”

“Pen we both know you won’t be.”

“But-”

“Are you scared of the dentist, kid?”

She hesitated, thinking about how to say this,

“I just… don’t like having someone poke around my mouth and stuff.”

He nodded, “That’s fair, but have you thought about the fact that if you let someone check in there for a few minutes, you mind get rid of the pain?”

“I can live with the pain,” she said stubbornly, making Mr. Stark laugh a little.

“No you can’t,” he said, “I know you’re strong, kid, but you don’t have to just deal with the pain.”

She sighed, thinking it all over for a second. And considering the throbbing pain in her mouth and temple was making it hard to do so, maybe a visit to the dentist was the right way to go.

“Yeah, okay,” she mumbled.

He smiled at her, ruffling her hair, “Good. I’ll go and get things set up for you.”

-

“Is it really so bad, Pen?” Mr. Stark asked as Penny curled up on the couch, facing away from him. Not deliberately, of course, but it just so happened that she couldn’t really lie down on her left side due to the fact she’d just had a tooth cruelly ripped from her.

“Yeth,” she nodded, “Yeth it is.”

Now she had a slight lisp too? Honestly, she felt like screaming.

The fact that they’d managed to numb her mouth so well amazed her. With Mr. Stark’s warning, the dentist had stabbed her with needles so many times she’d lost count and pumped her so full of the anaesthetic that the left side of her mouth was still dead, she couldn’t even feel it if she poked at it. It was the weirdest thing.

It also numbed the pain which was a huge bonus, but she was sure it would be wearing off in a matter of minutes and giving way to the full force of… ouch.

Mr. Stark sat down on the couch beside her, a grin on his face, “Well that’s not good,” he said, “how about you give me a smile, huh?”

He got a halfhearted glare instead. Penny was sure he knew full well how ridiculous she looked when she tried to smile, it was like the left side of her lips just decided to fall asleep and stay flopped whilst the other half curled up. It looked so weird. Penny hated it. Mr. Stark, on the other hand, did not, he’d pounced on the opportunity to tease her for it.

He laughed now, a nice hearty laugh, “Yeah okay, that’s fair,” he grinned, getting comfortable and tossing Penny an extra pillow which she gladly latched on to.

“What movie were you thinking?” He asked.

Instead of giving him a verbal response, she took the remote from him and set the movie up herself, not trusting her mouth anymore. It had betrayed her in the most awful way. Penny wasn’t sure if she would ever forgive it.

The movie started and both of them turned to watch. Penny’s assumptions had been right, only fifteen minutes later, she started regaining the feeling in her mouth again.

Twenty minutes later it started to hurt.

Half an hour into the movie she’d lost the ability to focus on what was happening on screen and just let her eyes squeeze shut as she did her best to fall asleep or something. Just anything to try and ignore the pain.

There was some shuffling on her right, and then a hand found its way into her hair, carding through it gently.

Penny didn’t even think about the fact that this was Mr. Stark, her… mentor, her idol. She was tired, pain is surprisingly exhausting, so she let her head drop gently onto his shoulder.

He seemed to tense up for a moment, his hand stopping. Then he relaxed again, shifting slightly to make Penny more comfortable. Something she was thankful for.

She kept her focus on the hand in her hair, letting herself slowly drift off to sleep as the movie continued in the background.

[drakewalkerfantasy]

Flames of yesterday: Chapter 9

Summary: 5 years ago they made a mistake. They were two broken men drinking away their love life issues, and one girl trying to help a friend. What the night leaves them with are two broken hearts and one nearly broken friendship. 5 years later, two are still broken and another one fixed. But what happens when they all meet again? Will it open old wounds and bring all the their insecurities rushing back?  Or will it mend the two hearts still looking for warmth, unable to find it after their parting?

Words: 3353

Authors notes: A crossover of Open Heart and the Elementalists, a collaboration series by @drakewalkerfantasy and @fluffy-marshmallow-heart

Ethan x OH MC (Diana)

Beckett x TE MC (Oriana)

**Warnings: no warnings needed**

Leaving the hospital Diana mindlessly walked along the streets trying to clear her head, not caring where she’s going. Ethan’s harsh words still thunder in her head, followed by his gentle ones, drowning out all other thoughts. In a worthless attempt she tried to forget all of it, tried to forget the hope she felt, and the warmth of his hands holding hers. Her hands still feeling the memory of their fingers brushing, sending a current of electricity through her body.

For a moment she thought that this was a dream, simply wishful thinking to distract her from the memories of the past. The protection mechanism her brain used to make the pain go away, but the bandage was the distant reminder that this time it was real… he was real. Distantly she remembered how close he was, how his eyes got stormy just for a second and it seemed that it took everything in him not to snap, kissing her senselessly in this supply closet. She sighed heavily, leaning on the handrail of a wooden bridge. Even not realising it, she came to her favourite place. The place her mother usually took her to when she was a child, when she wasn’t so terribly sick. To the place where she and Beckett came every year from the day her mother died to throw flowers in the river. Even five years ago when they fell apart, he still came standing by her side, not speaking, but quietly throwing soft flowers into the water.

She raised her face, letting the warm wind wash over her, standing there for a moment longer before finally heading home. When she got home it was already late and she slowly went through the darkness, enjoying the quietness and loneliness of the place. Her minds still heavy with a myriad of thought, but the pain became fainter as an echo of memory that will always be with her. Sitting on the bed she reached for her mobile for the first time since leaving the hospital hours ago. Her heart fluttering in anticipation and hope when she sees three missed phone calls and two new voicemails but falls a bit a second later seeing familiar numbers. She hesitated for a moment, her finger freezing for a second above Beckett’s number, then Oriana’s, debating if she could call them so late in the evening…

This is probably too late. She thought looking at the clock, watching them pass past ten o’clock. Ori is probably already asleep with how exhausting pregnancy is. And Beckett will kill me if I would wake her up. With a smile Diana removed her finger moving to her voicemail box. Her heart squeezing in hope to hear Ethan’s voice, her fingers trembling a little. She heard a familiar cheerful voice on the other end, a small smile reaching her lips as if a small part of the happiness of the caller reached her, making her heart lighter.

“Diiii, It’s Ori. Listen, Beckett told me what happened at the café, and then said you ran off towards the end of your shift. I know both of you have the day off tomorrow, so I’m really really hoping you’ll come over and help with our nursery? Beckett is insisting that I don’t do any painting, even though it’s totally fine, but you know him, such a worry-wort.”

The ring of her laughter made a full smile spread on Diana’s face. “So anyways, think about it, cuz he’s driving me nuts. Talk later!

Diana shook her head, still smiling, knowing full well how Oriana and Beckett’s conversation about her painting in a small room would have gone. She can practically picture how much eye-rolling Oriana did until she finally gave up, called Beckett impossible and how she was going to call Diana so she could agree with her. A chuckle escaped Diana’s lips, the thought of Beckett and Oriana always made her happy. The two of them just clicked and she was a bit envious of that. That’s what she wants, she wants a relationship like theirs.

Her smile faltered with the next thought coursing through her. Ethan Ramsey.

Why so brazenly ask for my number if he still doesn’t plan to call me? She thought to herself. Subconsciously still hoping to hear his voice, unsure if she should or shouldn’t. Her fingers trembled before moving to the next message, Beckett’s warning from the other day thundering in her head. But everything died the moment she heard the second voicemail, the one she hoped to receive. Her heart fluttered when the message began.

“Dr. Haynes? I mean, Diana… This is Dr. Ramsey… Ethan Ramsey…”

She heard him clearing his throat as though nervous and he cursed quietly under his breath, making Diana giggle softly.

“Tommy’s blood test results are ready; I was hoping to share them with you…there was nothing conclusive, so I wanted to get your thoughts…” He trailed off again, and Diana sighed, realizing he only wanted to talk business. Until he spoke again, his words rushing out.

“And also to make sure you’re okay. I’ll call tomorrow, it’s getting late. I shouldn’t have called so late, I apologize.”

There was a click and the automated voice sounded in her ear next, asking if she wanted to keep the message or delete it. Of course she’s keeping it. Despite telling herself not to, she listened to the message several times that night, butterflies erupting in her stomach every time she heard the last few rushed sentences. She noticed he didn’t leave his number, but she fell asleep with a smile on her face for the first time in ages, knowing that meant it was guaranteed he would call her again.

The following morning, Diana head over to Beckett and Oriana’s house, armed with coffee for him and tea for her. She rang the doorbell and a minute later, a disheveled and paint covered Beckett opened the door.

Diana raised her eyebrows. “You do know you’re supposed to paint the walls…right?”

He narrowed his eyes. “Oriana thought it would be funny to fling paint at me. She’s still mad about not helping. It made her laugh, so I guess I shouldn’t complain but…” He gestured to his now ruined clothing.

Diana stifled a laugh as she brushed past him and into their house. Oriana burst into the foyer. “Oh thank god you’re here! Beck doesn’t know how to paint. I mean, look at him.”

Diana looked between Oriana’s smirking face and Beckett’s glowering one. A slow smile spreading on her face as she spoke to Beckett. “Wow. That’s some painting you’re doing. Good thing you called in an expert before you completely confused yourself with the wall. I mean honestly, who does that?”

Beckett’s mouth fell open as Diana handed Oriana her freshly brewed tea. “And also, you’re supposed to wear old clothing that you don’t care if you get paint on. That’s basically painting 101.”

“You two are impossible.” He grumbled under his breath, grabbing his coffee. “I’ll be upstairs. Painting. The walls.” Throwing one last glare at the girls, he disappeared up the stairs, the sound of music floating down.

Oriana and Diana burst out laughing.

“He just makes it so easy!” Oriana gloated as their laughter died down.

“He really does.” Diana agreed, still chuckling. “My goodness, you had a lot of fun doing that, didn’t you?”

“I did.” Oriana grinned. “He had it coming. Honestly, he wouldn’t even let me into the room! I had to be quick about it!”

“I believe it. I’m impressed, actually. Now, how areyou feeling? You’re not lightheaded or anything?”

Oriana groaned. “Not you too.”

“Just worried about my bestie.” Diana slung her arm around Oriana’s shoulder as they went into the kitchen and sat on the stools at the island.

Oriana sighed. “Honestly? I’m always nauseous, this heartburn is killing me, I’m getting slower and bigger by the day, my feet are swelling…girl, pregnancy is hard. And all I want to do is put the nursery together, but he won’t let me paint, or put furniture together, or lift anything…he’s driving me nuts! I’m pregnant, not helpless.”

“He just cares.” Diana sympathized. “You know you and this baby are his world, and he worries so much about you. You should hear him every day, talking about how he can’t wait for his break so he can call you and make sure you’re not dead.”

“He does not say that!” Oriana gasped.

“Well, no, not those exact words. I’m just filling in the blanks. Besides, at least you have someone to fret over you. That’s more than some of us…” Diana trailed off, looking at her friend guiltily. “Oh god, I’m sorry, that came out wrong.”

“How are things going with Ethan?” Oriana asked blatantly.

Diana’s eyebrows shot up. One thing about Oriana, she never beat around the bush. “Ummm. Well…it’s complicated. I guess. I don’t know, really.” But at the mention of Ethan’s name, Diana found herself smiling again.

“Okay, well. Spill. What happened yesterday?”

Diana grimaced. “First, he completely berated me. I was humiliated. It was a hard case, and it just reminded me of my mom, so I wasn’t focused, and he noticed and ugh, he was such a dick.”

“But you just smiled.” Oriana pointed out.

Diana shrugged. “Well…I ran off and ran into the first dark room I could find. A supply closet, naturally. You’d be surprised how many there are in that place, it’s crazy. And I was crying and went into a panic attack and I didn’t notice when someone came in, but I figured it was Beckett.”

Oriana stiffened a bit at the mention of it but quickly regained her composure as Diana continued.

“It turned out to be Ethan that followed me in there. He calmed me down, and I swear, Ori, I thought he might kiss me. He didn’t but, god I wish he had. I really like him. I try to deny it, but I just can’t. The attraction is so hard to ignore. I don’t know what to do, really.��

“Ahem.” Beckett appeared in the doorway. “Weren’t you going to help me paint?”

Diana rolled her eyes. “Fine, fine, interrupt our girl talk.”

Beckett’s cheeks flushed. “I just…wanted to get this done so I can build the crib.”

Diana laughed. “Well when you put it that way…” She hopped off the bar stool and, throwing a wink at Oriana, disappeared upstairs. When she walked into the room that would become their child’s, Diana felt a surge of pride. Her two best friends were bringing life into the world, a product of their love for each other. Diana was thrilled for them and couldn’t wait to become an Auntie.

They’d picked out a beautiful shade of sea foam green for the bottom half of the walls, and a light blue for the top half. Diana planned on making a few small white clouds as well. They’d chosen not to find out if it’s a boy or girl, which drove Diana nuts but it’s what they wanted. When deciding what to do for the nursery, Beckett had read that exposure to the color green may increase reading ability, and Oriana liked the blue for the calming aspect, so this is what they decided in the end.

“So? I’m at your disposal, where do you want me to start?” chimed Diana reaching for a paintbrush, but before she could take it, Beckett also bent down to dip his own brush into the paint, instead painting Diana’s jeans making her jump up with squeal. “Hey!!!”

“Sorry I…” started Beckett, trying to suppress his laugh from the pay back, even if it wasn’t done intentionally. But one look at Diana’s smirking face was enough for him to frown uncomprehendingly. “Why are you not mad?”

“Beckett, as I said, you don’t wear your good clothes to paint,” she laughed, watching his frowning expression while bursting in a fit of laughter. “You should see yourself right now.” She giggled, dipping her brush into blue paint making another line on her jeans next to Beckett’s.

“What are you doing? You are ruining them…”

“Old clothes… remember?” Diana laughed, painting the tip of Beckett’s nose blue before quickly stepping aside, further from him. “And this is how it’s done.”

“Oh, you are so going down for that,” he growled, almost tripping over the paint can.

“You wouldn’t dare,” Diana gasped, her eyes widening. “You know that you may accidentally spill the paint and Ori never forgive us if we stain the carpet.”

“Shit…” cursed Beckett throwing daggers at Diana with his eyes before hearing Oriana’s footsteps on the stair. “Peace,” they quickly agreed as he darted to the door.

“Guys, is everything is okay in here?” Oriana asked, being stopped by Beckett before she could enter the nursery, his hands on her shoulders and backing her away from entrance.

“Everything is fine, why wouldn’t it be? Also, I thought we agreed that you wouldn’t come near the nursery until the room is painted and thoroughly dried. How many times do I need to repeat that paint fumes can be unhealthy for you and the baby.” Beckett scolded, watching Oriana roll her eyes, but obediently stepping back.

“No… It was you who agreed I will not get anywhere near our baby’s room while you’re painting. But there was nothing said about checking on you two…” Oriana trailed off, finally registering the paint on Beckett’s nose. She rose an eyebrow at him.

“She started it.” Beckett frowned defensively.

“Play nice.” Oriana murmured, kissing him on the cheek softly. “Also, do either of you want anything? I planned on ordering some food.”

“Anything you want.” He responded immediately.

“I will never say no to food.” Diana chimed in, peeking out of the room.

Oriana stared at her blue painted jeans. Diana just shrugged. “He started it.”

“You two are the kids I never needed. Behave or both of you will be kicked out and I’ll do everything myself.” Oriana retorted, shaking her head.

Beckett’s ears were turning red. “Sorry, love. Just painting, got it. You can count on us. We’ll be finished in no time.” Beckett lightly kissed Oriana’s forehead, gently brushing her bump with his hand before letting her go.

After Oriana left downstairs, Beckett and Diana set to work both starting on opposite walls. When Diana was occupied with drawing the contours for a small cloud on the wall, she heard her phone vibrating in her back pocket. She could feel how her heart made a flip and butterflies erupted in her stomach. She glanced at Beckett who was still busy painting his wall in firm concentration. After a moment she finally answered her phone, her heart fluttering and she could feel the heat rising in her cheeks.

“Dr. Ramsey?” she murmured quietly, when a familiar voice sounded through the speaker. She knew it was him, even though she didn’t know the number.

“Diana…” Ethan spoke, his voice rambling low. “I thought we agreed that you will call me Ethan.”

“Yes of course. I remember agreeing to this,” spoke Diana biting her lower lip trying to hide the smile from Beckett, who was wholeheartedly absorbed in the painting and didn’t seem to notice anything around him. “Also sorry for not returning your call yesterday. It was quite late when I listened to your voicemail. Also, you didn’t leave your number so…” her voice trailed off and she fell silent, her heart thundering loudly.

“You shouldn’t apologize, I really shouldn’t call you so late…,” Ethan sighed, thinking of all the things he shouldn’t be doing or shouldn’t be dreaming of doing with this incredible girl. Diana smiled, hearing how his voice trembled slightly, imagining him raking his hand through his hair nervously before speaking again. “I just felt like I should check on you and make sure you are okay.”

“I’m feeling much better. Thanks to you. I’m very sorry you saw me like that.”

“I’m really glad that you’re feeling better. I was….” His voice dropped an octave lower and the next words made her eyes widen from the confession. “I was worried about you.”

“Why?” She whispered hoarsely, her throat dried out.

“Because I…” Diana could hear how Ethan took a deep breath, feeling how her heart fluttered in anticipation, waiting for what he would say.

“Di, if you finished with your side of the wall. Can you draw clouds on this part and… do you think it’d be okay to also draw Staff of Asclepius where the baby’s crib will be?”

Ethan literally stopped breathing when he heard Beckett’s voice through the speaker. She’s pregnant???

“Ethan?” Diana called, breaking through his thoughts. She could see Beckett watching her, raising his eyebrow questioningly. The uncomfortable silence from the phone was practically deafening to Diana.

Finally, Ethan cleared his throat and his voice flowed through the speaker again. “I was simply worried because I’m your attendee and you are my intern. You need to be at the top of your game, always.”

Ethan was kicking himself for lying, but what else could he do? He shut his eyes briefly, hoping that she won’t hear the truth in his voice. His heart dropped to the pit of his stomach as he continued. “So, as I said yesterday, Tommy’s blood test results are ready. If you have time to go through them with me?” asked Ethan in a professional voice, absolutely no emotion evident in his tone.

“Okay.” Diana acknowledged.

“There was nothing conclusive. Everything that we tested him for came back as negative. He didn’t ingest anything, touch anything or contract a parasite… Nothing.” Ethan told her.

Diana thought a moment. “Hmmm… can it be that Tommy isn’t sick because of an external cause, but rather an internal one? Something that isn’t new, but perhaps he’s been carrying all along?”

Ethan furrowed his eyebrows. “What do you mean, a genetic thing? We tested several…”

“No, nothing like this. Remember Tommy’s mother said that two weeks ago he was hospitalized with bacterial pneumonia? And prescribed azithromycin? What if…”

Diana stopped, chewing on her lower lip thoughtfully before continuing. “What if the antibiotic did its job a little too well and attacked the good bacteria along the bad one?”

“And this is why he is so sick…Good bacteria started producing toxins as a defense, and that’s what poisoning Tommy.”

“So, once we kill the strain that started attacking him, his digestion will be fine again.” Diana finished.

“This is brilliant. You are brilliant…” Ethan exclaimed before he was able to stop himself. He inhaled sharply before speaking again. “Thank you, Dr. Haynes. I hope you will find your day enjoyable and I’ll see you tomorrow.” Not waiting for her to say anything, he ended the call.

Ethan sat back in his chair in his office, rubbing the back of his neck. She’s pregnant…how did I not know this? Why has she never said anything? She must not be far along if she’s drinking so much coffee on a daily basis. I’ll need to watch her caffeine intake…wait, no, that’s Beckett’s job…right?

Ethan couldn’t shake the thought that he was missing something. It didn’t make sense that she’d be expecting a child with Beckett, yet flirt with him, touch him every chance she got, look at him with such intensity as though begging him to kiss her.

I’ve got to be missing something…but what?

Back at Beckett and Oriana’s house, Diana frowned at her now dark phone.

“Was that Dr. Ramsey?” Beckett asked hesitantly.

“Yes.”

“I couldn’t help but notice you didn’t say goodbye? But congratulations on solving your case.”

Diana shrugged, trying to hide the hurt she was feeling as she placed her phone back in her pocket. “I guess that’s all he needed. And no. Do not paint any medical signs in here, your kid doesn’t need that yet. Or possibly ever.”

She turned her attention back to her fluffy white cloud, signalling she didn’t want to talk about it any further. Ethan Ramsey is nothing if not confusing.

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[itsadirtybusiness]

Everyone Just Swipe Left...

Life is a dirty business, death, divorce, diapers, dementia, dysfunction, and dating. Being able to laugh at our existence and all that goes along with it, I believe, is crucial to survival. In my dating world, there is a touch of dishonesty, in that, I don’t know what I’m doing, what I want, or if I want anything. Knowing what I don’t want is much easier to define, it’s easy to find flaws in people, especially if you’re looking for them.

My dating career was interrupted for about thirty years by a couple of marriages. After this hiatus I decided to try out Match.com. Things had changed a lot since I was in college, but I believed that the internet, my maturity level, and my life experiences prepared me for the journey on which I was about to embark, my first of many mistakes. I also believed that I was a strong woman and that I knew what I wanted. I established high level criteria: athletic, intelligent, educated, well-travelled, financially stable and no young children. I submitted my profile and certain that Mr. Right was just a click away, I went to bed hoping for the best.

I’m not a morning person, so waking up to sixteen messages saying, “Good morning beautiful” accompanied by an emoji, anything from a rose to a devil, became the kiss of death for my would-be solicitors. Instead of Cristal in a Waterford flute, my inbox was like a Solo cup filled with Boone’s Farm. My gut reaction was indignance, “LIARS! How dare you call me beautiful! You don’t know me.” I have strong opinions on beauty and number one is that it isn’t determined by flattering images on some app. It’s understanding who I am as a person and how I became the woman I am today. It’s depth of character and a strong understanding of self, and it implies a certain level of intimacy because I’ve opened myself to you, only then will I accept being beautiful as a compliment. Something that you, lame suitor, will now never experience.

A week in and I was already frustrated. I hadn’t even been on a date. “Stick with it.” My friends said. “It just takes time and patience” they said. “Maybe you shouldn’t be so picky” they said. “You have to kiss a lot of frogs” they said. I think they just wanted to hear my stories and validate their own relationships, sighing just a little as they thought, “Thank God it’s you out there and not me.” I bucked up and kept trying until I got a date.

My first and only match ended up being with a guy who didn’t tell me how beautiful I was before we met, but our date was still a disaster. I’ll spare the details of our meeting but as a result one of my friends suggested that dating sites should have some way to “Rate Your Date” like a Yelp review or rating your Uber driver. This could save us serial daters a lot of time and imagine how much better people would act if they knew they going to be reviewed? I think it’s a brilliant idea. The rating would be with hearts rather than stars and of course, plenty of space for comments. I would give a five-heart rating to a man that took me out to dinner, was a great conversationalist, kissed me goodnight and didn’t push the hookup; a man more interested in his phone or getting me into bed, than conversation would earn one heart. Deflated, I realized, if this was what dating had come to, I’d much rather be single. Peace out guys, I deleted my account.

Like Netflix and popcorn seasoned with crack, I couldn’t stay away. Shortly after my vow to remain single, I discovered Bumble, where the woman makes the first move. I set up my profile and a whole new world unfolded before me. I didn’t have to worry about unwelcomed solicitations, and I could pick and choose the guys that were appealing to me. I set the low end of my age range at 40, young, but old enough to have some life experiences under their belts and I topped them out at 65, putting myself squarely in the middle.

My Bumble profile reads:

I love to travel, read, run and play tennis. I am athletic, educated, financially stable and well-travelled. My children are grown with families of their own. I’m looking for someone similar. I love a good IPA and small batch gin. INFJ Vegan. No hook ups please. Trump supporters swipe left. 

Every connection I make gives me fodder for my ever-growing list of flaws. Unfortunately, there is a character limit, or my profile would now include the following:

If you have a girlfriend or you’re married, swipe left. You must be willing to meet, in person, if you just want to sext, have phone or FaceTime sex, swipe left. If you have the inclination to take a picture of your erect penis and send it my way, swipe left. If you think it’s appropriate to call me baby, honey, sweetie, sweetheart or any other cutesy name after one date, swipe left. If you don’t love animals or at least dogs, swipe left. If you think Democrats are trying to take your guns away or that the women of the #metoo movement were simply looking for their fifteen minutes of fame, swipe left. If you’re homophobic, swipe left. If you don’t believe in tipping at least 20% or you treat service staff poorly, swipe left. If you are needy and can’t give me my cherished space and solitude, swipe left. Not a football fan? Swipe left. Ohio State fan? Swipe left. If you don’t know the basics of ordering a cocktail or appetizer at a restaurant, swipe left. If you don’t return your grocery cart to its proper place, swipe left. If you don’t have Amazon Prime, swipe left. If you don’t know what an IPA is, swipe left. If you don’t know what vegan means, Google it or swipe left. If you can’t be bothered to read my profile, swipe left.

This paltry and arrogant attitude of mine led me to believe that men my age were a bit boring. I started matching with younger guys, much younger, like twenty years younger… The young thirty somethings were bold. They weren’t afraid to kiss me without asking first. They made me feel good about myself, but like any drug, the high was fleeting and superficial and I was constantly chasing it. What I crave is depth and meaning. I want to know how you recovered from the loss of your marriage. How you healed, if you even have? How did you tell your children and what did you do to help them cope? What music did you listen to? Did you start any new hobbies or activities? I want to know what makes you vulnerable. But the guys I’m talking to haven’t been married, they don’t have children. So, instead I say, “Oh! You like dogs and IPAs and put mustard on your fries? We have so much in common!” I guess that’s what happens when you date in your children’s age group. But, having a deep conversation with someone my own age is just asking for emotional exposure, I’d have to answer the same questions. I’m not willing to give depth and meaning so why should I expect it? Ghosting is so much easier. I tell myself I’m not being unreasonable; I just want to find a like minded man to hang out with. What I’ve managed to do is alienate most of the male population and probably earn myself a one heart rating. Especially from guys my age.

Finding the humor in all of this makes my failures more bearable. It relieves the pressure and absolves me of responsibility. Every now and then I ask myself what I’m doing with a guy younger than my daughter. I have yet to come up with a right answer. If I’m being honest, I think it’s a bit of a mid-life crisis mixed in with a tad of narcissism and a dash of not wanting to grow up. I also think it keeps me in control. I know that there is no chance of getting seriously involved with a thirty something. They’re safe, even if they are more prone to send a dicpic or request a naked picture than their older counterparts, I can pretend I’m closer in age to a college grad than a retiree. Finding the right guy is going to take a lot of effort. I’ve set near impossible expectations for anyone to meet and I insist on keeping myself impervious. I can talk about how boring men in my own age group are, but the reality is, I shun them out of fear, fear of growing old. They are a reminder of my age, a reminder that I’m on the downside of life, a reminder of my mortality. I’m not ready for that, if you are, swipe left.

[dalamjisung]

natural progression ❀ kim woojin

genre: slight angst, fluff, friends to lovers!au

word count: 3686

pairing: reader x kim woojin

description: college tore you guys apart. is it fixable?

You guys were best friends. That was the most important part of the whole fucking story; you guys were best friends and suddenly you weren’t. High school came and left and your friendship was maintained– sleepovers at his house, movie marathons at yours, and picnics at the park in between the two. It was so perfect that you actually thought nothing could ruin it. You blame naive you for all this pain, you blame her and her stupid fantasies of a future in which you guys would forever be best friends. If she hadn’t cultivated those fairytales in her head, maybe you’d be feeling a little better by now.

College was the guilty factor in all of this, and you started hating every second of it. You could still remember– if you really wanted to– the day you guys took the college entrance exams. He was way smarter than you, and till this day you swear he must’ve downplayed a lot in the exam, because you both go into the same college. Not in the top 3 ones, but still a part of the top 10. After the test you guys went to your house and snuggled up under your covers, whispering dreams and fears about college. You never voiced it out loud, but this was your biggest one– losing him. Losing your best friend, Kim Woojin. 

Freshman year was the first mistake. Keeping in touch was not enough, you guys tried your best to go out for coffee once a week and go to parties together. However, it wasn’t quite like that; once you started making new friends, and he started meeting new people, and you two started seeing that the world went beyond just the two of you, in your bubble, under the covers. It was all fresh and new, meeting new people that had the same interest you did, and you feel as if you got lost in that. Woojin tried inviting you to go to the bar with his friends and come over, but you were always busy, so he just smiled and watched you have fun. He was happy you were happy; that was all that mattered. 

Sophomore year was his only mistake, and it lasted until the middle of Junior year, when he tried to make up for it, but you weren’t having it. You felt hurt and betrayed and you wished you could delete that image from your mind. His hands on her waist, his mouth on hers, his words. Y/N is not important, just forget about her. But you were– at least that day, you were important. It was the one day in the year that you allowed yourself to be top priority for those whom you love and love you back. Your birthday had always been very important to you because all of your best memories are tied to it; simpler times, when your parents wouldn’t pressure you, when Woojin would text you everyday because he had just gotten his first cellphone, when everyone was still together. You allowed him to explain, but he only made it worse. 

“You’re just never here anymore,” He shouted, eyebrows furrowed and you had forgotten how scare Woojin could get. “Why am I the only one having to make an effort?”

“Making an effort?” You whispered, tears accumulated in your eyes; you saw him soften as soon as the first droplet fell from your eyes. “If it’s that hard, just forget it. There was a time when it was simple and easy and… and natural. But if it’s hard, please don’t even bother.”

You admit it was stupid of you to blow up on him like that, but it hurt. A lot. It was true, though– what he said. You guys had been fighting, something you never did before, all the time. And it was getting tiring, and it was wearing both of you down. By the end of Junior year, both of you stopped trying. 

It was now Senior year of college and you missed him. Dearly. Your birthday was by the end of the week and you wished you still had your best friend, your teddy bear, close to you, under the covers, rewatching Korean dramas like there was no tomorrow. But he was busy now, with new friends to call and new places to go, while you moped  in your dorm for various reasons. One of them was obviously him, but the other ones was the fact that this was your only free day during the entire week, and you’d be damned if you didn’t use it to do whatever you wanted to do. 

It was already 10PM, but you could swear your stomach didn’t care, and suddenly the craving from spicy ramen rushed through your whole body. You waddled to the kitchen but you were all out, resulting in one simple, yet undesired, solution: going to the store to buy it. Grumbling, you through over a large grey hoodie and put your shoes on. It wasn’t like the walk was a long way away, but you didn’t feel like braving the cold, snowy night all alone. Woojin would always be with me during snow nights, you thought sighing, and closing the door behind you. You get it, what happened between you two, and you even admit your fair share of fault in it all, but it was just impossible to forget. He was impossible to forget. 

“This is such a stupid fight…” You mumble to yourself as you kick a stray rock. “But it’s been so long, almost two months without speaking.”

The ultimate question was: is it fixable?

———————————————————————————

1st time

The first time was that same night. You were grumbling through the streets, food in hand, on your way back to warmth, when you feel the hairs on the back of your neck standing up. Looking behind, you noticed a shadow, tall and large, creeping up, slowly and steady, and in your mind, the flight or fight alarm was activated. With your blood pumping, you ran as fast as you could, to closest known location– an apartment complex you knew as if it was home. 

You type in the password– thanking the gods for Woojin being a creature of habit and setting all his passwords the same since high school– and you get in, choosing to stay in the lobby, by the elevator. You could kids of still see the shadow outside, and as the adrenaline started to fade, you could feel your legs give out. Hands shaking, legs weak, and nauseous; you had no clue how’d you get home. In the midst of it all, you barely heard the elevator opening behind you. 

“… are you alright?” Someone asks behind you. 

“No.” You whisper. 

“Do you live here?”

“No.”

“How did you get in?” He asks, and now he is crouched in front of you, face soft and yet, cautious. 

“I know one of the residents.” You say, trying to stabilize your voice. “Kim Woojin, 4th floor.”

“Oh, do you want me to call him?” And out of habit and despair, you nod your head. You weren’t going to lie, you were terrified. Nothing like this had ever happened to you before. “Okay. We can wait for him in my place, if you want? My name is Bambam, Woojin and I have been friends for a while.”

“Sure,” You gulp and try to stand up, grabbing the kind hand that Bambam offered you. “Thank you so much.”

“Hey it’s fine,” He chuckled. “Come on, let’s go up.”

Turned out Bambam also lived in the 4th floor, right next to Woojin and his roommate, Chan. As you warmed up with a nice cup of tea, you could hear the boy on the phone.

“Woojin, you need to come home. No, I know you’re busy and all, but I think it’s an emergency… no, a girl; she says she knows you. She looks really sick dude. Oh wait… what’s your name, again?”

He was talking to you now. “Y/N…”

“Y/-“ And then Bambam made a face. “Hello? Woojin? Did he hang up?”

You sigh, finally realizing what was happening. You messed up, yet again. Woojin would be so angry when he got home; you probably just pulled him away from a party or a dinner with friends, and you felt horrible. 

“Hey, thanks for everything Bambam, but I think I should get going.” You mumble. To be honest, the thought of going outside alone terrified you to the bones, but the thought of facing Woojin wasn’t that much better. 

“No way,” He scoffed. “You look like you’re about to pass out, Y/N. Just sit down and wait for him. He’s on his way, I am sure. 10 minutes, okay? Give him 10 minutes. He just went to the store to buy some ramen, so I’m sure he’ll be here in no time.”

He still loves ramen on a snowy day, you thought with a fond smile on your lips. You looked to your own plastic bag with ramen and wondered if he would want to eat together. 

“What happened?”

The door opens so suddenly you can’t help but scream in shock. And there he is. Hair messy, out of breath, and with melting traces of snow on his shoulders. You’d be lying if you said that the sight of your best friend– and yes, you guys fought, but he would never not be your best friend– wasn’t the most beautiful things you’ve ever seen. 

“Y/N, are you okay?” He asks frantically, walking to you, eyes looking for inexistent wounds. “What happened?”

“A guy was following me from the market.” You mumble, suddenly so tense. “I got really scared and didn’t know where to go, so I ran here because it was the closest place I could think of.”

You hear both men in the room inhale. And exhale. 

“Holy shit,” Woojin says, eyes wide, hands on your shoulder. “You did good.”

“Did you call the police?” Bambam asked, already pulling out his phone again. 

“And say what?” You snort. “That I saw a guy following me, but that I don’t know what he looks like?”

And they know how right you are, which makes it sadder. You say goodbye to Bambam and let Woojin guide you to his place, and then into his room. With not a word said, he offers you tea and sits you down on his bed; and then he takes your mug, rests it on the table, and hugs you. He hugs you like he did years ago when he got a phone call from the hospital about his mom, when in reality she was just there for blood tests. A scared hug; relieved, too. 

“You did so well,” He whispers into your hair, patting your back. “You are safe, okay?”

You nod, but you can’t stop shaking. 

Both of you fall asleep like that; warm in each other’s embrace and ramen forgotten. 

You leave in the early morning because you are late for a class. He wakes up in the afternoon, confused as to why there is now a packet of spicy ramen where your body laid hours before. 

———————————————————————————

2nd time

The second time is on him, and it happens because of the simplest, most cliché reason: he got drunk. 

You were up late trying to finish a report on the latest novel you read in class, arguing that the main character was actually an idiot, when you notice your phone ringing. It was a habit– a bad one, Woojin would insist– to leave it on silent; the constant buzzing and dinging always bothering you. 

The light goes off and you go back to your essay, focusing on the literary movements that could support your thesis of how stupid that narrative was when your phone goes off again, basically illuminating the dark room in its own.

“Woojin?” You ask frowning. Was he in trouble? Is that why he is calling?

“Y/N,” He sings on the other side, voice mellow and raspy, and he only got like that either when he just woke up, or when he was drunk. “Where are you? I miss you!”

You chuckle. “I miss you too, bubs. But I’m home, where else would I be?”

“Here with me!” He exclaims happily. 

“And where exactly is here?” You ask already getting up and putting some shoes on. “I’ll go there right now, yeah?”

“Yay!” He shouts and you have to take the phone off your ear. “Bambam, Y/N’s coming here!”

A weird sound of static comes from the other side and then another person is on the phone.

“Y/N, this is Bambam,” He says and it is a little slurred, but not as bad as your friend. “You don’t have to come, I can bring him to you.”

“It’s fine,” You sigh, already out the door. “I’ll just take him home. From what I’ve heard, he is way too drunk…”

“He is,” Bambam chuckles. “Well, we’re at the bar just outside of campus, the one where the swim team celebrated last year, you know?”

Everyone on campus knew. They managed to drink all the soju in the place, making the owner a very angry man. 

“Yeah, I’m on my way.”

Your pace was fast simply because you still weren’t comfortable walking alone at night, and because you know how Woojin got when he was drunk– overall happy, but one word and he could get aggressive. You heard the commotion before you saw it; Bambam with some girl laughing out loud, some other people you knew from being them in classes dancing around, and Woojin and Chan and Felix stumbling near the bar.

“Ya, Kim Woojin!” You shout, trying to make yourself be heard over everyone else.

“Y/N, you came!” He smiles his bear smile and you physically softens. “Let’s drink!”

“No no no,” You laugh. “Why don’t we go home, huh? You look tired.”

Woojin leans closer, eyes wide open, and finger on his mouth, asking you to be quiet. “It’s a secret,” he whispers. “But I am really tired.”

“Then why don’t we sneak out and go home?” You whisper back, wishing you could forever remember his face at that moment; so innocent looking. 

“Can we?” He asks whining. “I want to sleep.”

“Yeah, let’s go!” You grab his arm and pull him away from his friends, waving goodbye to the laughing pair that watched you guys with amused smiles. They knew all about you, Woojin made sure of that, and they were really happy that you came back into their friend’s life. You made Woojin happier. 

You guys were almost at the door, carefully dodging groups of people with their overflowing drinks, and you were so sure this would be a peaceful night after you put Woojin to sleep. That was until one of the guys on a table nearby made a comment.

“Hello, gorgeous.” He said. You hated how every Friday night college students would get themselves stupid drunk, but this man didn’t seem to mean anything by it, so you ignored him and tried to keep walking. “Hey, I’m talking to you.”

“I have to go.” You mumbled still trying to pass through their table, but he made sure your way was blocked. 

“Bitch.” He spatted and finally got out of your way. 

You were so ready to go home and ignore that spiteful comment, but Woojin wouldn’t move, no matter how hard you pulled his hand. 

“What did you call her?” He asked in a low voice, and it was almost as if the whole bar went silent. “Say it again.”

“I said,” The band got up and faced your drunk friend. “Bitch.”

Woojin chuckled, and to the untrained eye it seemed like and innocent, drunk laugh. But you were an expert on the subject Kim Woojin. You saw the glint in his eyes, and you knew there was nothing much you could do but step aside. 

Bambam and the others came running as soon a a body hit the floor. Woojin walks towards the guy as if he owned the place; his knuckles were a little raw, and with a few more blows, it could get bad. You didn’t want it to get bad. You block the way with your own body. 

“Woojin,” You say firmly, looking into his eyes. “Let’s go. He learned his lesson, now let’s go home.”

“No.” He shook his head. “No one talks about you like that.”

“Listen to your girl, man,” Bambam says and you blush. You’ve never thought of yourself as ‘Woojin’s girl,’ but you admit that it has a nice ring to it. “Go. You’re drunk and angry. Go sleep.”

“You’ll take care of this for me?” Woojin asks, almost as if he is in mafia. 

“Of course, dude.” And with a handshake, you guys are on your way. 

Woojin arms around your shoulders, his head hung low. For a second, you thought it was because he was too drunk to walk, but you noticed, as people passed by, he would tighten his grip on you, and hide your body with his. 

Getting home was quick, and getting Woojin to sleep was quicker. As soon as his head was on the pillow, he was out. You smile and cover him up with the blankets, getting ready for another snow night. You left him in your bed and went to the living room; you still had a report to finish after all. 

———————————————————————————

3rd time

You know what they say; the third time is the charm. But does it count when it’s basically a continuation of the second time?

Woojin wakes up the next morning with a headache that would render him useless for the day, and a burning sensation on the top of his hands. Closing his eyes, he tries to remember everything, and he pretty much does, smiling when he remembers you coming to get him, with your messy hair and sweatpants, and he frowns when he replays the scene of that man trying to get your attention. What he doesn’t remember though, is what happened after you both got to home. He knew he was in your room, he could basically smell you in the air, and yet, you were nowhere in sight. 

He drags his body to the kitchen, eyes squinting because of the soft light, and he finds you, sitting on an armchair that clearly didn’t belong there, in front of the window, coffee in hands, and a blanket on your shoulders. You were facing the window, watching the snow accumulate on the fire escape. You didn’t sleep that night, insomnia hitting you hard; but it was okay, you had your favorite entertainment right there. 

“You still do this,” He muses. His raspy voice sends a chill over your whole body and you turn to face him. 

“Yeah, I always loved watching the snowfall.” You yawn and snuggle deeper into the blanket.

And it was that moment; that single image of you sitting with a coffee mug in hands and snuggling with the blanket that made him realize that he wanted to see that every morning, even nights, if possible. He wanted to crawl under the heavy layer covering you, and hold you close, maybe even take a nap with you right there. 

“I know.” He mumbles. “I remember.”

“Yeah…” An awkward silence falls in the apartment and you shake yourself out of it. “Do you want some coffee? I have some done already and I can pour you so-“

“I’m not a fan of coffee…” He says. 

“Oh.” You get startle. “Yeah, I forgot, I’m sorry… Tea, then?”

He sighs. “What happened to us?”

“What?”

“What happened to us, Y/N?” He walks to you and pulls on the blanket, removing it from you. He slides behind you, and you tense up. Now, your back is laying on his chest, his arms around your waist, and, before he settles, he lays the blanket on top of both of you. His forehead is resting on your shoulders, and you feel the vibrations of his voice when he speaks again. “I missed you so much these months… so much happened that I wanted to call you, but it felt weird doing do. I didn’t know if I was being stubborn, of if it was you, but it’s fine, I’ll apologize if that’s what it takes.”

“Woojin, no yo-“

“I’m sorry. Come back. Please.” 

His voice sounded so vulnerable and small and you wanted to cry. 

“I never left, you idiot,” You mumble, rubbing your hands on the arms that encircled you. “I’ve been right here, also being stubborn, but here nonetheless. Always waiting for when you came home.”

“You’re home.” He says bashfully. “I missed this.”

“I missed this too,” You sigh in relief. Everything would be okay.

“I love you.” He chuckles, hiding his face on your neck. “It’s so funny to me that I just noticed it.”

“Just now?” You chuckle. “Funny. It was yesterday for me.”

“When I punched that guy?” His arms tense around you and you roll your eyes at your over protective bear. 

“No,” You whisper softly. “It was when you told me you were tired; your face was so adorably innocent…”

He hums. “It was bound to happen, really,” He mumbles. “It was the natural progression from where we left off.”

“It really was,” You say and shifts so that you are sitting across his lap, facing him. “I love you, too.”

He smiles and follows the flow, allowing the next natural progression take over. 

Here’s a fact about Kim Woojin that you, the expert, didn’t know: when he kisses, he takes it all. His lips pull you in, coaching you, guiding you, taking you. It’ll all you, and him, and both of you together. His hands are firm and tense, but and his lips soft, gentle, and demanding. You liked it. You liked surrendering to him like that; giggling in the middle, and nibbling. It was only natural, after all.

“I think I kind of like coffee, now.”

[thenamesseven]

Warnings: Language and mentions of sex.

                        ----------------------------------------------------------

Shownu stopped the car in front of the club you supposedly owned, or at least, that’s what the documents the chief gave them said. Whoever entered the club was in your mafia or working with you, which basically meant you controlled everybody who got in and out, it sounds impossible and even ridiculous but it was probably true, it was obvious strangers weren’t allowed to come in a club where you did all your business, right? They all knew that as soon as they stepped inside their inner yet old criminal would have to come back out if they didn’t want to get killed on the spot, there wasn’t any margin for mistakes and hesitation, it was a now or never situation. Their life after jail had been deleted from any online site to ensure their security once they went undercover, it was obvious you would check all four of them before accepting them into your gang and nobody wanted to risk their lives.

“Can we go over the plan one more time? There are things that I still don’t understand” Minhyuk asked nervously, staring at the huge security guard at the door who hadn’t seen them yet. “Like, why am I the one that has to approach her?”

“We all agreed you’re the best meeting people” Kihyun answered with a small shrug “You’re nice, funny and let’s just say you’re handsome, she, at least should let you buy her a drink”

The four of them had studied every single piece of information about you that were in those pages, which wasn’t too useful to be honest. All that said was you grew up in a really poor and dysfunctional family and that your mother’s death and your father getting arrested turned you into the criminal you were born to be since you were just following the example your parents gave you. You ran away from every orphanage and somehow ended up in the mafia, being one of the most wanted criminals in the whole country. Your rough past wasn’t a surprise for the guys though, all of them had their own little story along with the motives of why they became what they were, nobody joined the street gangs out of boredom like most people think. There’s always feelings such us vulnerability, fear or anger that push you to do it and by the time you realize you’ve done the wrong thing it is simply too late.

Also, the fact that you were a female was something that scared Jooheon the most. Females aren’t as weak as most people think, they are colder than any male when they get mad, they’re pretty smart and it’s not easy to trick them. All of those facts were kind of intimidating but he was almost sure they could find a way to break your walls and invade your personal life, he didn’t even need you to trust all four of them, as long as you trust one enough, the hardest task of the plan would be done.

“First of all we have to get in the club though” Shownu answered from the driver’s seat, his eyes on the security guy.

“No shit?” Minhyuk asked slightly frustrated

“I mean, he probably knows everybody who comes in” Shownu replied rolling his eyes “Not everybody can get in there Minhyuk, we’re talking about the Mafia” 

“We could use the back door” Kihyun replied, shrugging “I bet that one is not being watched”

“Cliché” Minhyuk rolled his eyes “What if someone sees us?”

“Act important” Jooheon muttered looking at him “If we’re inside it means we’re working for the mafia or with the mafia, so we should look like powerful people” He explained biting one of his nails, it’s been so long since last time they did this that he couldn’t help but be slightly nervous “Act cocky, arrogant, like the world is yours” 

“Got it” Kihyun nodded “Then Minhyuk is supposed to look for (Y/N)” He looked at his mate, waiting for him to nod before he kept explaining “Approach her calmly, as if you didn’t know who she was and just give her some conversation”

“Wait” Shownu frowned softly noticing something weird in their plan "Wait, wouldn't she notice he's new around? I mean, if the security guy knows everybody she surely knows who is dancing in her club”

Jooheon smiled “That’s the thing” He sighed, leaning back against his seat “If she is as powerful as it seems, she and her minions will notice we broke in and that we’re not a little stupid gang fucking around” Jooheon turned on his seat to look at the other three guys with a small smirk on his face “I don’t think she’ll get mad, if she is the kind of person I think she is, she will get interested and play our game”

“That’s when we make a deal or something?” Minhyuk asked scratching the back part of his neck, he really didn’t feel good about the plan “Ask her to let us work with her?”

Jooheon shook his head no “We won’t ask her that, she will come to us” Seeing the confused expression on everybody's face, he kept explaining “We’ll just have some contact with her tonight and leave her intrigued enough to look for us when she need us, if she really owns the streets like chief think she does, then she will want to know us and why we’re suddenly in her territory” 

“She will want to know if she should play with or against us” Kihyun muttered finally understanding what Jooheon plan was

“If she wants to play with us then she’ll lead us to the other three people working with her, tell us to join her and that’s when we will have enough time to collect enough evidence to arrest all of them” Jooheon finished 

“What if she wants to play against us?” Minhyuk asked

“Let’s hope that doesn’t happen” Shownu replied getting slightly tense “We don’t want to be on a Mafia boss’ black list”

Everybody gulped nervously, staring ahead at the probably crowded club with music loud enough to make the floor shake as hard as their heart was pounding against their chest.

It was time to get out of their car.

                        ----------------------------------------------------------

It was a busy night, the club was more crowded than usual but so far nothing interesting has happened. You talked with a couple of people interested in making deals with your boss, you also had a delightful conversation with one of your boss’ new business partners in which you were forced to be as sweet and stupid as possible. Your boss always took you to his meetings so he could ‘show off’, you just had to act like a stupid girl that didn’t know she was dating a mafia owner, the worst part was when you had to talk with all those other girls who truly were idiots, you always felt like slapping them so hard.

Sighing softly you looked around the room, your eyes landing on the dance floor where lots of people were dancing -kind of grinding against each other, some of them even having dry sex right there- or making out. You were pretty familiar with all the faces around, your boss never allowed strangers into the club where he dealt with his most important businesses. Getting in might be easy but getting out after being found out was another story.

Your eyes spotted Wonho, who was in a corner whispering something to two blondes that seemed to be giggling like crazy. A huge smirk made its way up to your lips, he looked so confident and so cocky that if you told those females how scared he got whenever there was a storm they would call you crazy. Unconsciously, you bit your lip when your eyes went down on his semi opened white shirt, letting everybody see his flawless pale skin and but when you looked even lower, right down his tight jeans you literally had to force your eyes back up to realized he had caught you staring. One side of his lips lifted up while he winked at you, making your cheeks turn slightly pink. 

He is such a player.

In the seating area, a way more calm place than the dance floor, were Changkyun with his eyes glued to his phone which meant he was already looking for a new car either to steal it or buy it, along with Hyungwon that lazily leaned back against his seat, looking around the place slightly disgusted by the way people danced so close to each other. He just wasn’t a huge fan of people getting into his personal space.

You turned around on your stool, focusing on the drink that was in your hand. You usually didn’t drink too much alcohol but after the success of the other day in the alley way the boss had allowed the four of you to get a little break, which meant, a couple of days without running after somebody or without having to act like as trophy while you intertwined arms with the chief. 

Although if you were honest with yourself, you weren’t a huge fan of breaks. You were too used to the daily action, the tension of following somebody, the adrenaline when bullets flew around you or the thrilling sensation when you broke into somebody’s place so when you had breaks you didn’t have anything to do unlike the rest of your friends. Wonho liked to spend the majority of his time in his bed with a girl or a couple of them if he was lucky, Hyungwon just liked to spend the day in his apartment watching TV and I.M was either getting into some illegal races to “train” his cars or looking for some new ones. You just had no hobbies or people to spend those days with and that, as lame as it sounds, made you feel slightly lonely.

“Ah, such a cold night”

A male voice dragged you out of your depressing thoughts, the easy going comment made you smile a little. It was unusual for you to have casual conversations, whenever somebody approached you it was always about business and not to talk about random things. You kept your eyes down on your almost empty glass, twirling the ice around to distract yourself.

“Get me a whiskey and refill the lady’s drink”

Now that was something even more unusual for you, was he trying to flirt? Didn’t he know who you were? Trying hard to keep your poker face on, you lifted your eyes up to see his face just to find an absolute stranger sitting on the stool besides yours. A mix of different feelings flowed through your body, the first one was confusion since it was the first time somebody had managed to break into the club and have guts to approach you like that. Was he retarded? Or didn’t he really know who you were? Then it was rage, was this some kind of joke? Because she was definitely not in the mood to fuck around but then a glint of curiosity shone in your eyes, this was something new, something to entertain her boring night.

Jooheon noticed your expression and a small smile made it’s way up to his lips. Walking in the club hadn’t been as easy as they had expected since the back door was also being watched by another huge security guard. Minhyuk had been the chosen one to entertain him enough for Shownu, Kihyun and him to get inside the club before he got back in their car in case the other three needed to run away. Shownu was sitting by himself further in the bar while Kihyun was in the dance floor, both of them scanning the place with the intention of finding your partners.

“Nice club isn’t it?” You asked taking a sip from your drink, your eyes on his face.

He was handsome, that was the first thing that crossed your mind when you saw him. Although you couldn’t look better at him thanks to the dark lights illuminating the place. The little dimples that appeared on his cheeks when he smiled didn’t went unnoticed though.

“Really nice” Jooheon nodded, his eyes watching your face carefully.

As soon as his eyes landed on you, he knew there was something off. Either you were a really good actor and were trying to look extremely pitiful to everybody around you or you weren’t as cold and rude as the documents said. Mafia made you rough, made you insensitive but the longing, the hopeful look you had in your eyes when you were looking at the dance floor wasn’t the look a Mafia boss had. He could be wrong but it was pretty weird for his instincts to fail like that.

“My name is (Y/N)” You introduced yourself casually, pulling up your hand for him to shake.

“I know” He said with a cheeky smile. Jooheon grabbed your hand gently but instead of shaking it he pulled it up to his lips and left a small lingering kiss on your skin “Jooheon, nice to meet you” He saw the curiosity flashing in your eyes, trying to decipher what was he doing there

“Ah, the pleasure is mine” You replied “New around?”

Jooheon chuckled looking down at his drink, not holding eye contact with you meant he was confident enough to not control your every single movement and that surprised you even more, who was he? “I think you already know that, am I wrong (Y/N)?” The way your name rolled off his tongue got your ears turning slightly red. He said it without crying, without fear or anger...It sounded so damn good.

“What are you doing here?”

“Heard some stuff about you, me and my friends got kind of interested” As soon as you heard the word friends you tried to turn your head to search for more strange faces but Jooheon stopped you, if things went south and you decided to go after them it would be a good thing that you only knew his face and not his friends’

“Eyes on me doll” You scoffed rolling your eyes, moving your face away from his big yet soft hands.

“Who do you work for?” Jooheon noticed you went stiff, maybe touching you hadn’t been a good idea.

“Myself” Jooheon replied shrugging “We just go from one city to another, meeting people, doing some works” He took a sip from his drink “The usual business, you know?”

“Mhm” You muttered watching him “So you came here to work?” You asked with a small smile, really interested on him now.

“Maybe, maybe not” Jooheon shrugged “Is there work to do?”

“Maybe, maybe not” You shrugged in return, making him smile even more

Jooheon glanced down at his watch, they have been thirty minutes inside and they had ten minutes to get out before Minhyuk started freaking out by himself in their car.

“I would really like to continue our conversation” Jooheon said letting out an exasperated sigh “But this” Suddenly the club’s lights went out. They didn’t need to do this, it was just to show off, to show you he had enough reasons to be confident “Is my cue to get out” 

“Wait” You grabbed his wrist before he could walk away “Will we see each other again?”

Jooheon smirked. He did it. He got you interested.

“Maybe” He whispered gently moving his hand away from yours “Maybe not”

[dekuplants]

be alright | TODOROKI

✧ pairing: todoroki x unspecified female character

✧ genre: angst

✧ word count: 2,847

✧ disclaimer: I’m using mostly pronouns rather than names in this piece lmao. ‘he’ refers to todoroki and ‘she’ refers to the female. anyone else should have their name specified ^^

↳ this story is based off the song Be Alright by Dean Lewis, maybe listen to it after reading if you’re expecting feels lmao

yikes my first actual fanfic here, let’s get it

—— ;

Blinking at the descending snowflakes, an ominous feeling crystallized in his gut when she asked him to meet, after days of not seeing each other.

The weather was freezing, a chilly breeze of wind blowing by every so often. If one were to run to the seaside, it was easy to see the sun resting on the horizon, announcing that the end of the day was near. The boulevards were empty and silent, almost resembling an abandoned ghost town.

The truth was, everyone had gone home long ago. After all, it was only paradoxical for anyone to stay out in such glacial temperatures that could potentially nip someone’s skin off. With snow that perpetually fell, it would all have been quite a picturesque scene if it were not for the gloomy vibe that spread through the streets.

Snow. That was the only thing he could think of, even after carefully observing the environment.

It was certainly quite miserable. He swore to his heart that it was only yesterday that he made snow angels and let out laughter he never knew he was capable of emitting. There was a strong refusal to believe that those days of long beach walks and conversations at twilight were probably over. When even time could not interfere if it wanted to, or the moments when despair was something that never existed.

“Shoto?” left her chapped lips.

He looked up, bringing his attention back to her pale complexion and her frail-looking body, both of which were things most would find unpleasant. However, for him, it was different.

Then, she began to cry. He could only watch as tears gathered at the brink, eventually overflowing and running down her cheeks. His eyes followed as he saw the droplets hit the snow-coated pavement, before another one of her sniffles brought him back. As he rested his eyes on her forlorn expression, she instantly stared at the ground. That was probably when he knew for a fact that she was hiding something, or at least simply refusing to speak the truth. Whatever that truth was, he was not aware.

He was never a person who had a way with words, so he could only lunge his arm forward to grasp her hand. If anything, it felt colder than all the ice he had manipulated. It stayed that way for a few moments, but she realised she disliked the warmth that began to coat her hands. She immediately retracted her arm, pulling out of his grip with ease. At that point, it felt like there was absolutely nothing but an empty void filled with her whimpers. He wondered what exactly circulated her mind, but whatever he came up with was obviously not reliable.

“I made a dumb mistake,” she then spoke under her breath. Her hands were trembling. Her voice was raspy and broke a little, which indicated her dry throat. Those subtle little movements she made would be undoubtedly missed by regular people, but he noticed everything. He could only afford to stare, eventually nodding his head in acknowledgement as she continued.

A loud and long sigh of despair left her lips. “Remember the cigarettes you found on the counter last week?” She questioned, shoving her hands into her trench coat pockets. Her knees struggled to support her upper body, barely standing on her two feet with whatever strength she had left.

He nodded slowly, suspiciously eyeing her. She exhaled through her nose this time, before she seemingly forced the words out of her mouth.

“Those weren’t my friends’...it belonged to one of your male seniors.”

The color drained from his face then. Having always been a person who believed in the power of speech, it felt like he underestimated everything. It all made sense, how she would smell like cigarettes even though she never physically took a drag. How she was not the same around him anymore after staying out late for nights.

He pieced two and two together, turning on his heel and walking away. His head tilted towards the stone pavement. The sounds of her sorrowful weeping seemed to mute. He never looked back, refusing to believe that all he smiled about ended in nothing but pure lies and deception.

—— ;

If he had paid enough attention to the accumulating pain at the back of his eyes, he would have looked away ages ago. He didn’t know what drove him that far, but it wasn’t like he bothered anyway. Perhaps it was the feeling of stony desolation in the caverns of his heart. The sudden lack of energy and motivation to do anything at all, or maybe something as trivial as how terrible the weather had been recently.

He never had the best childhood, everybody who spoke to him knew that for a fact. It was written in stars and stone, impossible to reword for anything. The years of pain and abuse were permanently scarred at the back of his head, but he came to accept it eventually as the years went by.

However, he was not certain about the current situation.

It suddenly felt as if the world only had him as the population. He lived in the city, but to him it was close enough to being an uninhabited island. Scattered somewhere far away from any human contact in the deepest of oceans. Somewhere he could yell out into the open space and defrost his frozen heart.

His mind wasn’t in a good state, either. It was as good as a vacant vessel. Some would probably call it one-track, while others would prefer the term brain dead. It was pathetic, really. Even if he tried, he knew he probably could not remember much on what he did on a regular basis.

When was the last time he had a proper meal?

Don’t know.

Wasn’t miserably alone in his unlit room?

Beats him.

Simply had a smile on his face?

Unanswerable.

One thing he could answer, though, was what he had been doing ever since that winter day. It simply consisted of him sitting in the corner of his room, the lights switched off and curtains drawn closed. His legs were folded and his back leaned against the wall. With his phone practically molded into his fingertips at that point, he continued to stare at the words displayed on the blinding screen.

He let out a dry laugh. He found humor in how fragile the relationship was. It was like glass, shattering at the slightest touch, but how much exactly did he know back then?

Undoubtedly, the old messages they sent each other brought a sense of nostalgia and warmth. It was an enjoyable time, but he wished he could just experience it one last time. It was right there in front of him. If he could only grasp those memories with his bare hands and bring it to his chest, he would never hesitate.

Gone were the times when the only thing the both of them thought about was which café to go next, which place to go for a walk and when they would see each other again. It was two years ago when the naive, callow adolescence blossomed within them. Happiness and freedom was all they had. A future together was what they longed for.

Life had different plans, unfortunately.

No one had changed him quite as much as she did. Of course he had his friends for additional moral support, but even that had a limitation. Being with her was a little different. The mere act of staying by her side was enough to bring him a gargantuan amount of comfort, safety and love — all of which were things he never received much as a child. Whenever he acknowledged her presence, it felt for a split second that he could go beyond. Push himself towards the limit. Exceed the limit. Touch the sky. Perhaps travel even further than that.

The cold, empty space next to him only added fuel to the fire. He knew it wasn’t right. He was aware that the messages were messing with his head, but of course he couldn’t control himself. Of course he couldn’t. After all, it was indeed someone who turned his life around, wasn’t it? It had always been her. His ear-to-ear smiles. His unaccustomed laughter. The euphoria that radiated from his heart. He owed it all to her.

However, she owed him nothing.

It was evident on the day she declared her love as a lie. Everything was false. Nothing they felt was true. It was as if she deleted the past just like that with a click of her fingers, the memories buried under layers of thick soil. If he were to stick his arms in and start digging, exactly how much of those precious moments could he unearth? If he were to touch her face one last time, he would definitely tell that she had moved on, wouldn’t he?

She was far ahead of him. In fact, she always had been. She was always more outspoken, outgoing and extroverted. She knew how to speak and was never afraid of expressing herself. She knew many people, mostly boys if he had to be honest. He never made a big deal out of it until that day he questioned her about the cigarettes. It wasn’t like he ever thought about smoking, neither did she.

When she spilt the beans, he was not utterly surprised. He knew it was bound to happen at some point as soon as he realized a change in her behaviour. The slight flinch she would make when he went anywhere near her, or the way she would stiffen whenever he kissed her.

It didn’t come as a shock to him either when another friend told him about her kissing his own senior. If anything, he couldn’t care less about what she did or planned to do with other boys. It was the feeling of betrayal that he just couldn’t seem to shake. The feeling of abandoned loyalty and unmade promises. When their future was so near, yet so far away.

Just walk away already, his friends would tell him countlessly. She’s not worth your time. You don’t deserve her. You’re better off without her. Nothing lasts forever. First love always hurts the most. She’s not worthy. Everything sounded the same to him at that point. It felt like he lost the ability to feel anything. He should be crying and shouting into the void, but he simply couldn’t. He didn’t have the strength or willingness to do any of the above.

All he wanted was a second try, to restart everything right from the beginning. To rewind back to when he met her in the first day of high school. When they were nothing but innocent trainees with developing abilities. He merely wanted to linger in those moments for one last time. Give him a year. A month. A week. A day. Even a minute would mean the world to him.

—— ;

About two weeks later, he found himself being greeted by a wide smile and embraced by a pair of strong arms in a tiny room. Midoriya’s small, yet cozy room never failed to lighten his mood, regardless the situation. It hadn’t changed much according to what he remembered the first time he arrived. The walls were still plastered with All Might posters. The shelves were filled with All Might figurines. Even the bedsheets haven’t altered, either.

As he examined the room, he could see that Midoriya’s computer still had a tab open, playing the video of his idol saving multiple people on loop. Things were still the same in that room, after all. It felt the slightest bit pleasant knowing that certain parts of his memory have remained untouched.

He watched as Midoriya sat on his bed, placing the bag of soda cans on the floor and shuffling uncomfortably in his seat. Then, Midoriya looked at him with a sad glint in his doe eyes. He knew what his friend called him over for, but being ready to discuss the topic was something he wasn’t sure he could do.

“Todoroki, you haven’t been talking at all recently. Tell me what’s on your mind,” Midoriya began. There was an obvious amount of patience being put into his speech. Certainly the last thing Midoriya wanted to do was to upset his already heartbroken friend.

It took him a while to respond. “She left me,” was still all he could afford to say. Anything else would have landed another layer of ice around his throbbing heart.

Midoriya sighed. “I’m not sure what happened exactly, but I think I know how you feel. I understand that she took up most of your memories and it’s hard for you to let go just like that, but-“

“But, what if I don’t want to let go? What if-“ He blurted out, only to trail off as all plausible explanations eluded him. Midoriya proceeded to pat his friend on the shoulder, watching him stare into nothingness with the blankest expression he had seen on him. In truth, he did feel something. It was betrayal. The same feeling of betrayal refused to leave and instead contained itself inside of him. It was slowly killing him, but there was only so much he could do.

Midoriya placed a few fingers under his friend’s jaw, tilting his head up to look at him. “I know you love her, but it’s over, Todoroki.” Upon hearing so, the boy simply shook his head, turning his body to face his friend before him.

“No, maybe it would help if I called one last time to ask how she was doing. Perhaps the feeling of talking to her again would bring the smallest bit of happiness,” He rambled, his voice cracking a little. Midoriya panicked at the sight of that, frantically waving his hands in front of his face.

“Are you out of your mind? No way. Please, it doesn’t matter. Put the phone away. It’s never easy to walk away, but let her go. Believe you can and you will,” Midoriya declared firmly to his delusional friend, straight in the face. It didn’t seem to do much, though. He still looked rather unfazed, the subtle sadness and hope of her return still glimmered in his heterochromatic eyes.

Instead, he exhaled tiredly. “If only I was as positive as you. I wish I never saw things negatively. I wish I never felt all this...I’m just so confused. Lost. I’m exhausted, Midoriya,” he answered, burying his face into his palms as he widened his eyes in frustration while the makeshift darkness enveloped his vision. As he began to notice the small gaps in between his fingers that allowed light from above to seep through, Midoriya spoke again.

“Truthfully, Todoroki...Nothing heals the past like time. We’re all born to love someone eventually. That someone could be anywhere in the world, searching for you. For all you know, you could be searching for them, too. If she left you like you meant nothing, then she obviously isn’t the one. Nobody can steal the love you’re born to find, so keep looking.”

Upon hearing so, the half-and-half boy finally pulled away from his palms, heaving a loud sigh as he gave his friend a curious look. Midoriya only giggled shyly, rubbing the back of his neck as he reached down for the soda cans with his free arm. Midoriya passed one to his friend before him, who accepted it without much thought.

“What are you implying, Midoriya?”

Midoriya smiled again, popping the soda can open with two fingers and taking a small sip of the beverage as he thought of a response. “It’s going to hurt for a bit of time, that’s all. However, you’ll find another and be just fine. Bottoms up for now, let’s forget whatever you’ve felt tonight.”

The green-haired boy raised his soda can, looking down at the boy on the floor with an empathetic expression. Todoroki knew he was no one to decline, so he elevated his soda can to meet Midoriya’s. The sound of metal against metal rang through the air.

To Midoriya, it was the beginning of his friend’s emotional recovery. To Todoroki, it certainly meant starting from scratch.

Although she tore his skyscrapers down to rubble, he was now ready to build it all back up. With a stronger foundation and a better mindset, he knew he could promise himself a new chapter, with a new beginning and a better ending, without her.

[orokinarchives]

Vox Solaris

Eudico would do anything to keep her people safe, but will she stand up to Nef Anyo?

Starting the quest

The Tenno must talk to Eudico upon arriving in Fortuna. Occasionally, Nef Anyo can be heard broadcasting messages over the numerous screens in the town.

Nef Anyo broadcast: "Fortuna! You are behind schedule! The final coolant tower must be operational in time for my investor's showcase. Failure to meet your quotas means one thing: repossession. If you aren't willing to work for your rig, someone else is."

Eudico is located at the north end of Fortuna, near the elevator to the Vallis.

Eudico: "Busy. Oh, an Outworlder? A… Tenno. Look, we're a Corpus operation, we are, but these people are Solaris. We work for a livin'. We don't need no trouble, and we don't need no one gettin' hurt. You wanna help? Go buy something from Thursby. He's been staring down the barrel of a repo order ever since he took on his parents' debt."

Tenno: "Repo order?"

Eudico: "Ugly thing, repossession. A Solaris falls too deep in debt, and Nef sends in his repo squads to take what he says he's owed. You know, mechanical body parts, even a full rig. In Thursby's case, cause he got none of that, they take the organics: arms and legs. Yeah, there's a market for those, too."

(after exiting conversation) Eudico: "Aye… mucking what? Nef wants to start that fossilised coolant tower back up… today. It's damaged Orokin tech, not a bleeding moa; you can't just turn it on."

Thursby's shop is located near Eudico, on the western side of the coolant canal. The only items on display are twisted metal and scrap – not very appealing.

Thursby: "If you need scrap in a snap, just talk to your junkyard diplomat! That'd be me, Thursby – thunderstruck, short on pluck, down on his luck. Ah, whatever. Tell me you wanna buy something. Please. I need this."

Tenno: "Eudico sent me."

Thursby: "Eudico sent you, a Tenno, to help me meet quota? Well, I'll be…. You know, you could buy some scrap… but… if you really wanted to help, you could source me some supplies. Sumtin' I could sell. Not this garbage. I know where the Taxmen keeps the good stuff. If you're up for that sort of thing, boss, head topside."

(if the Tenno says "Debt?") Thursby: "When my parents… passed… I inherited their debt. And boy, were they owing deep. Can't work to pay it off cause I ain't got no augmentations, and I can't buy augmentations on account of all my debt. Vicious cycle, right? So here I am, selling useless scrap at the edge of a coolant canal."

(if the Tenno says "Tell me about Eudico.") Thursby: "She means well. Don't want to see nothing bad happen to us workers… but, there was a time she had another name: Vox Solaris, the voice of the resistance, the voice of Solaris United. She stood up for us. Said how wrong this all is. She always said Solaris United was all of us, but it weren't nothing without her. When the trouble happened… Nef did try to identify her…. What he did to the others… [sniffs] what happened on Deck 12…. [clears throat] She's always been kind to me. What happened to them was never her fault."

Once both dialogue options have been exhausted, the conversation ends. The Tenno is directed to go out on the Orb Vallis via the elevator at the north end of Fortuna.

First Mission: A Favour for Thursby (The Orb Vallis, Venus)

(Fortuna hype image)

Thursby: "You ever been out on the Vallis, boss? She's a miracle, she is. A blizzard in a firestorm. All thanks to the magic of rebooted Orokin tech, and… the blood and the sweat of so many thousands of Solaris. But, you know what Eudico always says…."

Thursby: "She says—"

Eudico: "'Welcome to Venus, it'll kill ya.' Thursby, what's going on, you keepin' your nose clean?"

Thursby: "Eudico? Ah, sure am! Just giving a— a tour to my shiny boss here, ya know, earnin' a wage any way I can."

Eudico: "Alright then, Thursby. Just don't let this Outworlder get you into trouble."

Thursby: "I need something I can sell, you know? Spare parts. Quality merchandise, see? I know where the Corpus drop supplies. You can get in and out, before anyone catches wind of what we're up to."

The Tenno is waypointed to an area near the base of the Orokin coolant tower at the Coolant Reservoir. As the Tenno approaches, 3 supply crates are airdropped in and an 8-minute timer starts counting down.

Thursby: "Sneak and peek, boss. Crates full of the good stuff should be nearby."

The crates give off a sonar-like ping when nearby, so are relatively easy to locate. As the timer counts down, the area objective on the minimap shrinks to narrow down the field.

(upon opening the first cache, variant) Thursby: "Haha, outstanding. If Eudico would just loosen up, we'd be taxin' the Taxmen on the regular! What else can you find?"

(upon opening the first cache, variant) Thursby: "Haha, outstanding. If we had the old Eudico, we'd be taxin' Taxmen on the regular! What else can you find?"

(upon opening the second cache) Thursby: "Amazing! With this haul… won't be just my debts getting paid off. You're gonna make more than one Solaris happy today, boss."

(if the timer reaches 2 minutes) Thursby: "You're makin' me nervous here. Hurry it up, boss."

(upon opening the last cache) Thursby: "Unbelievable! Why stop here? With your power, we could hit Nef hard, make him pay for all he's done to us. Blow up his precious coolant tower before he's even had a chance to show it off to his muckin' board!"

Eudico: "Thursby! What are you thinkin'?! You're on an unsecured channel. You want a Corpus spy drone hearin' what you're up to? Ah, muckers! Too late. Got no choice. Tenno, you got Thursby into this mess, so you can damn well help him out of it."

The Tenno is waypointed to the Temple Fabrication site.

Eudico: "Tenno, you're looking for the Corpus spy drone that overheard Thursby's little 'guided tour'. Find the drone before it reports back to central command."

(upon arriving at the site) Eudico: "The drone is nearby. Ground it, and I'll see if I can still hack one of these things."

A Vallis surveillance drone is hovering about, surrounded by Terra Corpus. The Tenno must disable the drone by damaging it.

(upon disabling the drone) Eudico: "Hold on, Tenno, been a while since I did this. Now, where is that recording of Thursby?"

Corpus reinforcements will begin to arrive. The Tenno must kill 30 of them without letting them destroy the drone.

(if the Tenno fails the mission, at any point during the quest) Eudico: "This is bad. We've put all of Fortuna in jeopardy."

(upon defeating enough reinforcements) Eudico: "Corpus are legging it. Take out as many as you can. Keep 'em quiet."

Eudico: "Well, well, well. You're a bright spark and no mistake. Coulda used you back in the…. Don't let me catch you running more missions for Thursby, understood?"

The Tenno is prompted to return to Fortuna.

[in Fortuna]

Nef Anyo broadcast: "Resurrect a dormant Orokin coolant tower? They said it was impossible, yet such profitous glory is within our grasp! But, I can't get there without you, Fortuna. That is why I am so grateful that all here have volunteered to dispense of work breaks in the name of my glorious enterprise."

The Tenno is directed to speak to Thursby, whose stall looks like it now has lots of Moa parts to offer.

Thursby: "Aye, boss. Eudico says that if I try anything like that again, she'll rip me arms off herself. But… look at this! Yesterday, didn't have 'nuff Lucre to stay outta repo. Now I got what I need to open me own shop. Get me head outta the red. All I needs is a ripe hook. Something ta set ol' Thursby apart. Somethin'… memorable. Oh, almost forgot: Biz heard what you did, said he wanted to speak with you."

(after exiting conversation) Thursby: "Moa parts, get a head start, if you're building a cart, with… Thursby. No? Bah. I need to work on that one."

Eudico will be standing next to Thursby instead of in her usual chair, and can be spoken to.

Eudico: "Maybe I was wrong about you, Sparky. You managed to pull that off without getting Thursby killed. Biz says he has work for you. Fine by me, 'long as you stick to savin' little animals and nothin' else."

The Business is near Thursby, south along the coolant canal, past Smokefinger.

The Business: "Ah, the Tenno Eudico mentioned. How do you do, Outworlder. My mission is to conserve this region's unique species. You know, before the Corpus drive them to extinction. I'm known as 'The Business'. Eudico calls me… 'Biz'. I wasn't always about the preservation of life – more the… strategic deletion of it. Conservation may be my calling now, but the scales still require an occasional… adjustment. Head to the Vallis if you're looking for some work."

Second Mission: Retrieve the Hit-list (The Orb Vallis, Venus)

(Fortuna hype image)

The Business: "Are you averse to getting your hands dirty? Send a message? I've learned that the head of the Corpus repo squad has made a hit-list of indebted Solaris. Before his goons can do their thing, I've got a K-bomb with his name on it."

Eudico: "Biz! That's not what we discussed! Wait. There's a repo list? Who's on it? Ah, crap. Okay, fine, but we do this my way. No K-bombs. Had about enough mess for one day."

Eudico: "We do this quietly and maybe, just maybe, Nef doesn't find out. Biz, this isn't the old days. We've got no leverage now. All we can do is try to save our people from getting ground up by the bureaucracy."

The Business: [angry sigh] "People are already 'getting ground up,' Eudi. Debt on debt, accident by accident, repo by repo! How many even remember actual freedom?"

The Tenno is directed to approach a secure area: the garage in Central Maintenance.

Eudico: "You're nearing the secure area. Steal that list. Don't get noticed. If they destroy the data, we won't know who to hide from Nef's repo squad."

The Tenno must infiltrate the building and hack the data station to retrieve the list. If the alarms are triggered, a 60-second timer will count down to data destruction.

(if the Tenno sets off the alarms) Eudico: "Counter-intrusion just made you! It's started erasing files! Pull that data immediately!"

(upon hacking the data station) Eudico: "Accessing the file… okay, okay. Ah, guts. Biz. This says they're going after your field team… today."

The Business: "They're already overdue for a check-in. Outworlder, you need to find my team before Nef's repo squad does."

An area nearby to the north is waypointed. Upon arriving, four Solaris corpses can be found in the snow.

The Business: "They were in debt because they choose the calling of conservation over filling Nef's pockets. It seems like the preacher wanted to make a point. But… this isn't the whole team. We need more info. Search the bodies."

The Tenno must go to each body and interact with them.

(upon searching the first body) Eudico: "Damaged. There's something in the buffer. We need to get it decoded before the device fails."

(upon searching the second body) Eudico: "Accessing buffer. Analysing…."

(upon searching the third body) Eudico: "Password… hello… buffer… accessing final transmissions… c'mon, c'mon, final transmissions…"

(upon searching the last body) Eudico: "I'm in. Taking a quick look around… itinerary, patrol log, coordinates, reports, blah blah blah…"

The Business: "The survivors are being held nearby. Awaiting 'processing'. Eudico, we don't have long."

Eudico: "Not again…. Listen, Sparky. I need you to get in there and get our people back. And you don't need to be nice about it. If they're still alive our team will be… here."

A prison facility nearby has the surviving members of the Solaris field team. The Tenno must hack the jail console to initiate the breakout, and stay alive during the slow hacking process. The hack can be accelerated by collecting data keys carried by Corpus Terra Jailers.

(upon completing the hack and rescuing the team) Nef Anyo: "Tenno, did you think I didn't notice your little heist earlier? Quite a stunt you pulled with that young— what was his name? Thursby…."

Eudico: "Oh no. Tenno, you have to get back here before they get to him."

Thursby: "Hey fellas! Thursby? Nah, ya just missed him. He…. No, I didn't do nothing. You don't understand. Stop! Ahh…." [video transmission shows Thursby being approached by Corpus agents before going black]

[in Fortuna]

Nef Anyo broadcast: "Remember, friends, forgo hard work for cheating and stealing, and the Void will judge not just you, but the collective. Lift together, punish together. If you lot continue along this path, I'll gladly repossess all your rigs."

Thursby's shop is marked off by orange, holographic crime-scene tape, and Thursby himself is absent. Eudico is still standing nearby.

Eudico: "Thursby… I was… I was supposed to protect him, and now he's in pieces. The medics aren't sure if they can stabilise him with… so much… missing. This was a mistake, letting you get involved. Why did I listen to Biz? Maybe i-it's not too late to impress Nef before his big unveiling. Appeal to his mercy, show him what we can do. Get topside. I'll fill you in."

Third Mission: Amarast Excavation (The Orb Vallis, Venus)

(Orb Vallis concept art, DevStream 107)

Eudico: "Nef's pushing ahead with activating that coolant tower. But it's not ready. My engineers need a mineral, amarast, to counter the inevitable heat cascade. I've marked an excavation site where you should find some. Bring it back, and maybe we stop the entire Vallis from being bathed in slag."

The Business: "Amarast? Do you not understand? Nothing you do will make Nef kind. The more you give, the more he'll take. When you rise up, people get hurt, but if we left that fear divide us… it will only get worse. I saw a Eudico I haven't seen for years back there. Fortuna needs that Eudico back. We need Vox."

The dig site is located south of Fortuna, on the moutainside north of the Transit Depot. As the Tenno near the site, an excavator will drop down, and the Tenno must protect it from being destroyed while supplying it with power. Power cells drop from Power Cell Carrier enemies that spawn with the Corpus reinforcements.

(once the excavation is completed) Eudico: "That should be enough. Get to the coolant tower before Nef turns on the juice."

The coolant tower is due west of the Enrichment Labs and southeast of the Pearl.

Nef Anyo: "Solaris! The investor showcase is tomorrow and you lot still maintain the coolant tower is not ready. Have you no faith? My test run will commence now, and the Board shall know it was I, Nef Anyo, who brought the glory of the Orokin to life once more!"

Eudico: "He's starting already? Nef's gonna trigger a heat cascade if he boots that coolant tower up without the amarast. He's going to get us all killed. Hurry."

Before the Tenno can reach the coolant tower, Nef will attempt to activate it. A loud rumbling will echo across the Vallis.

Nef Anyo: "Solaris! Why isn't it working? Fix this!"

Eudico: "We're… too late. Come back to Fortuna, Tenno."

Nef Anyo: "Solaris, this disaster is your bumbling! Present me your Floor Boss."

Eudico: "I… I am. Floor Boss Eudico FB-9. I take responsibility for this."

Nef Anyo: "Finally. One of you shows some backbone. Floor Boss, select fifty workers of low efficiency and have them in front of Fortuna for repo. Their upgrades I shall bequeath to Solaris of greater efficiency. And for the failures: brain-shelving. Make your list. You have one orbit-hour."

The Business: "Eudico?!? You're not going through with this, are you?"

Eudico: "Not now, Biz."

[in Fortuna]

Nef Anyo broadcast: "Understand this, Solaris: you are all replaceable. Corpus engineers are more expensive, but far cheaper than the loss of an Orokin coolant tower. Fifty Solaris now, or the lot of Fortuna tomorrow. The Void commands it."

Eudico is still standing near Thursby's shop.

Eudico: "Ever since Nef crushed Solaris United, killed my friends, I've focused on one thing: keeping him happy. Thought it was the only way to keep people safe. …It's not working. Biz is right, someone needs to say something. Do something. Listen, you don't have to help. You can leave Fortuna and never come back. Wouldn't blame ya. This isn't your fight. But, Sparky, Nef's massing his troops outside our doors. And you're the only thing standing between us and bloody oblivion."

(if the Tenno says 'I need a moment.') [conversation ends]

(if the Tenno says 'I'll help.') Eudico: "Knew I could trust you. Take this; there's a present in there for the mucking Taxmen. Why don't you deliver it to them?"

Fourth Mission: Defend the Gate (The Orb Vallis, Venus)

(Fortuna hype image)

The Business: "What are you trying to do, Eudico? Buy him off? You've lost it. Wait. Where's my K-bomb?"

Nef Anyo: "Where's my fifty Solaris, Fortuna? You're wasting my time. Who do you think you are?"

Outside the Fortuna elevator, a large number of Corpus troops are amassed and will immediately fire upon the Tenno.

Eudico: "Now, Sparky. Get that case as close as you can to them."

A target site for the K-bomb is marked nearby. Arriving at the waypoint and interacting with it will detonate the bomb, killing all enemy units in a wide radius. More troops will promptly arrive via warp-in, coildrive, and dropship.

(after detonating the K-bomb) Eudico: "Now give 'em hell. For Thursby."

The Tenno is instructed to remain at the entrance to Fortuna and fight off the Corpus forces. As they do, a transmission is sent out. The speaker is hidden behind a mask of Nef Anyo's face, their voice is distorted, and they are identified only as "Vox".

Vox: "We are the used. The mutilated. The indebted. We are Solaris United. And this Tenno is our messenger. Hello, Nef."

Nef Anyo: "Solaris United? I know that voice. I killed that voice! You are… a ghost. But I don't believe in ghosts!"

Vox: "Halt repossessions immediately. Recognise the importance of our work. These are our demands."

Nef Anyo: "I will find you."

Nef Anyo: "Whoever you are, you don't know what hell you've brought upon your people."

During the Tenno's fight, the Profit-Taker Orb Mother will have left its perch above the Enrichment Labs and slowly approached Fortuna. At this point, it is now within range, and will begin to attack the Tenno with its impressive arsenal. Due to its Sentient-hybrid shielding, it cannot be damaged in any way.

Eudico: "Sparky, not worth it. Get back in here. Nef won't risk destroying Fortuna with that Orb. We've bought the time we need."

(upon entering the elevator) Nef Anyo: "That's right, scuttle back to your hole. I'm going to replace the lot of you with Moas. In the meantime, Profit-Taker here will make sure you stay good and planted."

Biz: "I… I owe you an apology, Eudi. And if you see… 'Vox', pass along my thanks as well."

Eudico: "No, Biz. Thank you – for not giving up on me. We all lift together."

The Business: "And we will… we just poked a kubrodon, and if we don't show him who's in charge, we're lunch."

[in Fortuna]

Nef Anyo broadcast: "Investors! Despite some recent… labour relations issues, we are going ahead with today's showcase! You will witness Orokin terraforming technology expanding the Vallis more quickly than you could possibly imagine! Making available land for new opportunities. New investments. Behold this coolant tower [sounds of applause], once thought damaged beyond repair, return to glorious profitability [sounds of applause and cheers]."

Eudico will be back at her post near the elevator.

Eudico: "Sparky, Solaris United's just getting started. Nef won't want us messing with his investor showcase – he's planted that Orb Mother out there to make sure we stay in here. But now is the time to press for leverage. Head to the surface when you're ready. I've arranged a little something for you."

Fifth Mission: Investor Showcase (The Orb Vallis, Venus)

(Fortuna hype image)

Eudico: "Roky lent us her personal K-drive. Fastest board in the Vallis. See if you can't slip right past that spider momma."

The Profit-Taker Orb is still standing guard outside Fortuna. Near the elevator is a K-drive.

(upon mounting the K-drive) Eudico: "Hit the accelerator, Sparky. No hope of outgunning that Orb."

The Tenno is directed to the Orokin coolant tower. Their path leads right under the Orb Mother, who is straddling the road. The Tenno will take fire, but should be able to avoid it on the K-drive.

Eudico: "How's the ride? If you want one, see Roky when this is all over. Right now we got a job to do."

(upon arriving at the coolant tower) Eudico: "You made it. Time to give Nef a taste of repossession. Patch me into the coolant tower's control system."

The Tenno must hack the console on the small control outpost near the base of the tower.

Nef Anyo: "Corpus engineers? What's going on down there? I've lost control of the coolant tower. The investors are watching. Acknowledge!"

Vox: "You never had control, Nef Anyo. This tower is Solaris United property. We do with it as we please."

Nef Anyo: "You weasels picked the wrong day for collective bargaining. Corpus kill squads, converge on the control cluster at once! [sounds of commotion] Investors! Everything is under control. [nervous laughter]"

At this point, Corpus troops will begin attacking the console, and the Tenno must defend it.

Eudico: "Let's turn up the heat on Nef."

A loud rumbling can be heard as Eudico starts overheating the tower. A meter on the HUD will indicate the overheat progress from 0 to 100%.

Nef Anyo: "Are you freeloaders trying to damage my coolant tower? Oh, of course. All your grovelling has moved the bleed-heart Tenno to come to your aid. No matter. My kill squads will carry you all swiftly… to the Void."

Vox: "You have been warned. Say goodbye to your precious terraforming project."

Nef Anyo: "Investors, e-enjoy this display of security prowess. Rest assured, your investment is protected."

(at 40% overheat) Nef Anyo: "Solaris United, in the name of the Void, I command you to stop. You're putting my entire enterprise at risk!"

Vox: "Stop the repossessions. Acknowledge our work. Honour the age-old accord between Solaris and Corpus."

(at 75% overheat) Nef Anyo: "Blow that tower and you'll destroy Fortuna."

Vox: "Your fortune is what dies with us, Nef Anyo. And we know that, to men like you, poverty holds a greater dread than death."

At 95% overheat, a loud booming noise can be heard from the tower.

Nef Anyo: "Wait! Wait! Fine. I'll halt the repossessions. Is that what you want? Stop this."

Vox: "Never forget: Solaris make the Vallis work. No Solaris, no Vallis. Do we have an understanding?"

Nef Anyo: [through gritted teeth] "Yes. I… understand."

Eudico: "All I needed to hear. Sparky, drop the amarast in. Fingers crossed this even works."

The amarast needs to be delivered to a port on the side of the coolant tower. Upon doing so, more loud rumblings will be heard, and the smoke will stop billowing out of the tower.

Nef: "[sounds of gasps and shouts] Investors, please. I swear the system works. This is just a minor hiccup. Some minor labour-relations issues to deal with. You understand, right? Right? Where are you going?"

Eudico: "The heat cascade is dissipating… readings returning to normal. [satisfied sigh] That did it. Well then, Sparky, looks like SU is back. Only a matter of time. If it wasn't me, someone else woulda done it. Meanwhile, you come see me anytime. Solaris United's got plenty of work for you."

[in Fortuna]

Nef Anyo broadcast: "Solaris, rejoice! Due to my overwhelming generosity, I have cancelled any open repossession orders, and returned your work quotas to their agreed-upon levels. In unrelated news, I'm offering a 2.000.000-credit reward for information leading to the arrest of the radical agitator known as Vox. Report any suspicious activity to your foreman immediately. Praise be the prophets!"

Upon return to Fortuna, the Tenno will receive a K-drive launcher, which allows them to summon the K-drive from the quest, as well as an inbox message from Eudico containing the blueprint for Garuda.

Inbox message: One More Thing

Sparky,

Smokefinger found this blueprint embedded in a tangle of Vallis fungi years ago. Didn't know what to do with it until you came along. I want you to have it; it's the least we can do to thank you.

Don't be a stranger, Eudico

The component blueprints for building Garuda can be obtained by completing bounties in Fortuna. Once the Vox Solaris quest is complete, the merchants of Fortuna will be fully available to the Tenno, along with the Syndicates of Solaris United, Ventkids, and, if the War Within quest has been completed, Vox Solaris.

[Navigation: Hub → Quests → Vox Solaris]

[scaryscarecrows]

Roots and Leaves, Pt. 8

All done!

“-son. Master Jason.”

Fuck, Alfred’s dead? The end is extremely fucking nigh.

But, if he’s going to be selfish (which got him into this, you’d think he’d learn)…at least he has company in…wherever this is.

His hands still hurt, though, which he finds very unfair.

“You are no better at feigning unconsciousness than you were at fifteen, sir.”

He’s not tryin’ to…

Why does Death look like his old bedroom. Is this some sorta ‘ease into it’ area?

“There you are.”

“Alfie?”

Alfred hasn’t changed one bit. Jason will bet that his mustache hasn’t even grown, or shed a hair, or anything.

“How are you-”

Alfred.

He hugs him and he hasn’t changed, not one goddamn bit. Alfred hugs him back, one hand cupping his neck and the other moving firmly up and down his spine. Alfred’s here, everything’s gonna be okay, at least for another minute…

The hand on his spine moves and his head’s tilted up with a soft, “Oh, my boy.”

It’s over. Any dignity he had is gone. He presses his face against Alfred’s chest (fabric softener Earl Grey home) and doesn’t even try to pretend he’s not crying. He’s never been able to keep anything from Alfred anyway.

“M’sorry.”

“Oh, my boy,” Alfred says again, and those sturdy hands press against his head and neck. “There is nothing to apologise for.”

He tries to take a few deep breaths, to get himself under control for fuck’s sake, and can’t. He can’t do it anymore.

But Alfred is a literal saint, and he doesn’t try to coax him to talk or to sit up or to do anything at all, even after his jacket must be soaked through. He just sits there, marginally more slumped than he usually is, and rubs a hand in slow, steady circles over Jason’s shoulders.

At some point, he senses a presence in the doorway, but before he can straighten up it’s gone again and now, without that motivation, it’s easier to just stay here where it’s safe and warm.

He eventually runs out of tears but his face is now wet and swollen and hot. His nose feels like it’s swollen shut and he’s been reduced to careful, thought-out breaths that rattle in his throat and burn in his chest. Sitting up is too much work.

Alfred props him up anyway and rubs a cool washcloth over his face before letting him take it and hold it against his now-puffy eyelids.

“That’s it, Master Jason.” If Bruce is Sherlock Holmes, then Alfred is Watson. They don’t deserve him. “That’s it. Deep breaths, there we are.”

“M’sorry, Alfie,” he forces out, voice strangled. “M’sorry-”

“That’s enough of that.”

“But-”

“I won’t hear any more of that.” Oh, boy. That’s the ‘you’re on thin ice and should just shut up’ voice. Even now, it’s scary and he doesn’t have the courage to go against it.

A straw presses against his lips-limeade-and Alfred continues, a little gentler now, “I cannot imagine that you purposefully buried yourself for any reason, Master Jason. Am I correct?”

He laughs. He can’t help it. It sounds so nice put like that.

“No. No, I…I didn’t. I didn’t.” He is not going to start crying again. He refuses. Sheila flashes behind his eyes, blonde and blue and red, and he presses the washcloth down hard enough to hurt. “I…she s-said. She said she was out. Sh-she said she was out, Alfred, I thought…just once…”

“From the beginning, Master Jason.” Calm, but making it very clear that he doesn’t have a choice. “Who is ‘she’?”

He swallows, knows he’s imagining something squirming at the back of his throat. Alfred waits.

“Sheila Haywood,” he finally whispers. “I…Bruce’s files…she might have been my mother.”

He doesn’t have to look to know Alfred’s got that little frown between his eyebrows, the one that says he’s deeply upset. Jason presses the washcloth tighter against his eyes, sparking colors, and his wrist is tugged at until the colors die off.

“I just…she approached me, Alfie, I swear, I didn’t…I just thought…” He swallows again, forces himself to let the washcloth fall to his lap. “M’tired of bein’ second choice, Alfred.”

He doesn’t have time to brace himself before he’s pulled back down and somehow…folded…so that he’s tucked against Alfred’s chest like he’s thirteen again and still fits.

“Jason Peter Todd,” Aw, shit. “you have never been second choice, do you understand?”

But…

Look. He’s very well aware that he wouldn’t be here if Dick hadn’t had that fallout with Bruce. And oh, boy, has he ever learned the Joys of Being the Second Child-‘Dick did this’, ‘Dick did that’, and on and on and on. He’s come to terms with that fact, it’s fine, whatever.

But arguing that point (or any point) with Alfred is a Bad Idea.

And. And he’s here, now, because Bruce…Bruce came to pick him up, when he asked. So. That means something, doesn’t it?

His head hurts.

Alfred sighs at his non-answer but lets it go for the time being.

“What happened with Miss Haywood?”

He’s not moving. He’s staying right here until this is all over.

“Some moron tried to hold up the grocery store…”

* * *

Jason feigns sleep for the rest of the day, until Bruce is out on patrol. Sneaking past the Batman isn’t impossible, but it’s definitely hard and with his hands almost completely useless, well…

The last thing he wants or needs is a lecture on Trust and Rushing Into Things and Dammit, Jason, This is What Got You Captured by the Joker. He knows that, thanks, Bruce.

(And yeah, okay, he knows lectures are Bruce’s way of saying I Love You, but some people swear a punch to the face is an I Love You, so.)

Sneaking past Alfred, on the other hand…now that really is impossible.

He’s halfway down the stairs when there’s an irritated, “A-HEM,” from behind him. Crap.

“I was thirsty?”

Alfred gets this expression that Jason will swear means he’s envisioning smacking him upside the head with a rolled-up newspaper. Yeah. Okay. Game’s up.

“I just…I need some time,” he says, eyes fixed on a knot in the wooden banister. “I can’t face him, Alfred, not now.”

Not for a long time, probably. Not without a massive blow-up on both sides and it’s better if no one else is around to be caught in that crossfire.

And besides. Right now, he just…his apartment may be kinda crappy, but it’s not haunted by a stupid kid who swore up and down that

“Being Robin gives me magic!”

“This is the best day of my life.”

There’s too many ghosts in this house.

Alfred comes forward and pats his shoulder.

“At least permit me to provide you with a few easy-to-reheat meals.”

“I’m okay-”

“Humor an old man.”

That is a trap. That is a trap, it’s just better to nod and neither protest or nor agree. And he’s got time, before Bruce gets back.

“Thanks, Alfred.”

“Hm.”

He’s ushered towards the kitchen. It hasn’t changed a bit-still homey and warm and with those same comfy stools by the counter. He remembers having after-school snacks there and chattering a mile a minute about ‘so Mister Pierce set his desk on fire in chemistry and it was so cool I gotta try that y’think B’ll let me-?’

“If I hear one word about you being out before those hands have healed, there is no power on Heaven or Earth that will spare you, is that clear?”

He believes. He believes.

“Yeah.”

“Good.” An icebox appears out of nowhere. “Do you need a ride?”

“No, I, uh…I called an Uber. I didn’t think I could drive.”

“Wise choice.” Alfred sets the icebox down and grips Jason’s arms. “You will always have a home with us, Master Jason. Remember that.”

He is not going to start crying again. He is not.

“Thanks, Alfred.”

* * *

The Uber guy is more interested in his radio than in Jason and that’s just fine. It means he’s not going to pester him, which means that he can twist around to watch Wayne Manor shrink into the distance through back window.

When he gets home, he opens his e-mail. Nothing new, but Sheila’s are still there. He deletes most of them.

But.

He can’t. Even now, after everything, he can’t bring himself to hate her. Not really.

He moves the remaining few to his ‘save it’ folder, where he won’t open them by mistake, and goes outside for a cigarette. Lighting it’s a pain, and there’s a few minutes that he’s terrified that he’s going to light the bandages on his hands on fire, but he manages it, in the end, and leans on the railing to watch the cars go by below.

In another unit, he can hear Mz. Melinda May cackling and a handful elderly voices swearing and demanding she be thrown out. Maybe he’ll go over there tomorrow, make sure she hasn’t downloaded a crap-ton of computer viruses again. (And yeah, okay, he wants to know about the yelling.)

There’s a sudden movement in the shadows across the street and he goes inside, turns on the TV. He’s halfway through an episode of Chopped when a red bar pops up on the bottom saying, Batman recaptures Harley Quinn, more at eleven.

A knot in his chest he didn’t realize was there loosens up and he pulls his blanket tighter around his shoulders.

“Thanks, B.”

THE END