#misunderstood brains and consciousness

[in-sightjournal]

Ask A Genius 1066: The Chris Cole Session 4, "Pinky and the Brain"

Scott Douglas Jacobsen: Some people, I do these sessions. I let them know about Ask A Genius. Obviously, it’s named after you. I tell them. Would you have any questions for him? And then that’s where this comes in because they’re members of those communities, so they’d be the ones that I thought would be interested. So, a follow-up from Chris Cole says, “Let me ask the question differently:  A…

[zazaiafe2]

Full post about letting go in shifting

1) Letting go or the mysterious puzzle of shifting

Letting go is one of the most misunderstood concepts in the shifting community.

Many exhaust themselves asking: “How do I let go?”… which is ironically counterproductive, as it triggers the mind even more.

For some, it happens naturally. For others, it’s like a lock.

Spoiler: letting go isn’t a permanent state you need to maintain 24/7. It’s a key moment happening at a precise instant.

About half the people who shift on command (12 people on the survey sample) said they sometimes have a very “empty” mind (there were 26 participants, and they could pick multiple answers, that’s why the stats add up like this). Imagination also seems common among people who shift on command, likely because of the immersive aspect it creates.

2) Letting go: no need to "think about nothing" all the time

Based on many testimonies (including my own surveys):Many shifters say they had doubts, intrusive thoughts, even anxiety before successfully shifting.

The common pattern is that, at the critical moment of shifting, a switch occurs where:

- The environment becomes secondary.

- Thoughts naturally slow down.

- The brain shifts into a state of internal release.

It’s not a total absence of thought.

Rather: -> a distancing from one’s thoughts.

3) Letting go = temporary deactivation of the controlling ego

When shifting, the problem isn’t thinking itself but trying to consciously control every detail.

The analytical mind (the ego, the "controller") loves staying in charge.

-> Metaphor:

Imagine you’re a passenger on a boat.

Your ego wants to steer.

Letting go is the moment you allow your subconscious to take the wheel.

Letting go = trusting that the current will take you where you want to go without forcing the rudder.

4) Emotional state matters more than we think

Many believe that "intention" alone is enough.(It can be in some precise case)

In reality, emotional state (not just positive vs. negative, but stimulating vs. calming) plays a central role.

Interesting paradox:

Calm emotions (serenity, slight sadness, contemplative state) often seem more favorable than highly activated emotions (anger, extreme euphoria, anxiety).

The subconscious shifts better when it isn’t overwhelmed emotionally.

-> The mind needs to be able to glide, not fight, the emotion.

5) Why does letting go support shifting?

Neurocognitive hypothesis (based on research I've done):

Shifting seems to involve switching brain modes:

- Default Mode Network (DMN): self-centered, ruminative thinking, focused on self-awareness (of the CR).

- Low-latent mode (hypnagogic, hypnopompic):

-> opens up to broadened perceptions, new reality and identity perceptions.

Letting go helps transition into this receptive mode where assumption can truly take root.

Key moment:

-> "My mind disconnects and lets my identity glide into my DR."

⚠ Note: It’s not black and white. The DMN can help with preparation and constructing the DR, but at the key moment of shifting, it seems more favorable when the DMN activity drops, allowing easier passage.

6) Letting go ≠ abandoning intention

Many believe you have to completely forget you want to shift.

Wrong: it's more accurate to say you need to:

Maintain a soft, implicit intention.

But without trying to force or constantly check.

Sometimes, simple immersive visualizations, calming sensory affirmations, or just "being mentally in your DR" are enough.

❀ The key:

-> The intention is in the background, stable. The active mind is on pause.

7) The extreme example: stress can make shifting harder

Imagine trying to shift while being chased with a knife:

Even with the best affirmations, your brain would be overwhelmed by survival mode.

Why? Because the body is in a state of maximal activation of the limbic system.

The more emotionally overloaded you are → the harder it is to access the subtle shifting process; it gets locked.

That's why:

-> Calm conditions aren’t mandatory, but they are highly favorable.(Some profile are highly emotionally resilient which could change things a bit)

My favorite meditation for relaxation

8) Letting go isn’t "emptiness", it’s a selective opening

Many believe you have to “stop thinking” to let go. But that’s almost impossible. (For most profile)

In reality, it's often about redirecting your attention:

- Less analytical/logical thinking

- More immersive, sensory, narrative thinking

Examples:

- Feeling your DR without trying to visualize every detail

- Letting yourself be immersed in imagined sensations (sounds, smells, touch, etc.)

It’s not the absence of mental content, but rather mental content adapted to shifting.

If I can give an example: it's like floating in the middle of water. Your mind relaxes, thoughts come and go like waves, but you know the current will guide you to the right place.

9) Letting go and the “floating effect”

Many shifters describe an inner floating feeling just before shifting:

- A sense of weightlessness

- Sensory blur

- Light, pleasant dissociation

Why? The brain seems to enter a “low cognitive friction” mode:

-> Mental barriers between realities become thinner

-> The rigid ego temporarily falls asleep

Allowing this drifting feeling to naturally emerge can greatly facilitate shifting.

I would even say for some, sensory deprivation or certain sensory experiences might help them enter these states.

10) Accepting the imperfection of the mind

The trap of perfect letting go:

Many people get stuck because they want to be mentally perfect before shifting.

But:

- The mind fluctuates.

- Intrusive thoughts exist.

- Shifting doesn’t require unrealistic mental purity.

What to aim for:

-> Mental flexibility, not perfection.

Sometimes, intrusive thoughts fade away on their own by letting the DR sensations come to the foreground.

11) The importance of micro-moments of shift

We often believe that shifting requires hours of preparation.

But in reality:

Shifting often happens in a few key seconds when:

- The state of relaxation is reached.

- DR attention becomes dominant.

- The mind slides without being pulled back forcefully to CR.

These moments are subtle, but become recognizable with experience.

The more you practice identifying these mini-shifts, the more you develop a flexible "entry window."

12) Conclusion: don’t panic about letting go

You don’t need to be mentally perfect to shift.

Letting go is occasional, not permanent.

It’s a release of control at the key moment.

You can totally:

- Have doubts.

- Have intrusive thoughts.

But succeed in disconnecting at the right moment.

-> The most important: cultivate moments of gentle receptivity, no need for absolute control.

Bonus) Alpha, theta waves as well as binaural or isochronic sounds also seem ideal to induce a favorable state (not mandatory especially if you prefer not to have sound but it may help).

Link 1 (alpha waves)

Link 2(theta waves)

Link 3(isochronic tones)

(translated from my TikTok)

[vulpisnocturna]

My tired brain 🧠 possibly misunderstood, but hc requests are still open? If not disregard this ask, but if so what are your hc on Uchiha Males discovering their spouse or s/o, having an intrauterine device for birth control? I would say not done out of spite but just something their s/o has had for years (some IUDs last for 10 yrs or longer!). Maybe it was a slip of the tongue, since it’s not something most women spend all day thinking about. At least I don’t.

Maybe a slight misunderstanding over the whole scenario. It can be NSFW as well. 😈

HC requests are in fact still open, as they don’t take me long to write. Fic requests are closed.

Mhhh I’m not sure, this would be quite hard to gauge I think. I’ll try my best.

Uchiha Men finding out you have an IUD/views on contraception

Indra:

-This man would not be happy to hear you say you cannot conceive when he wants you to. He would absolutely tell you to get it removed ASAP. You don’t want children with him or something? Is that a joke? You need to give him an heir.

-If you tell him you’ve had it for a long time, he will retort that now you’re his wife and it is time to have a family with him.

- 10/10 commitment, 1/10 general approach, 0/10 women’s rights

Izuna:

-He’s secretly a sweetheart. He would ask you why you did it and if you’re comfortable removing it because he wants a family with you. If you’re not, he’ll try to coax you into it, but he won’t push too far. He wants peace for his clan as much as peace in his household.

-Will be asking routine updates on whether you’re ready to take it off.

- 7/10 general approach, 9/10 communication, 7/10 women’s rights

Madara:

-Is perplexed when he starts to see that no matter how many time he breeds you, you never get pregnant. There is no way he’s the problem. Could you be infertile? That’s not a thought Madara likes. He needs to pass on his genes, and he singled you out as the best woman to help him do that.

-So he asks you, and you tell him you cannot conceive at the moment because of your IUD. Madara is not happy. He isn’t going to be as controlling as Indra, but he will try to literally fuck the need to be bred into you. Will manipulate you into a breeding kink. And then he will dote on you, making sure you know how much he is committed to creating a family with you, how much he wants you to bear his children. Until you suddenly want it too and get that blasted thing removed. Another win for Madara.

- 6/10 general approach, 6/10 women’s rights, 8/10 gaslighting

Obito:

-This man will break you with simping. When he finds out, he’s genuinely upset and a little embarrassed. After all, he’s been raving about putting a child in you when you two were having sex and now he finds out it was literally impossible for him to do so.

-He will shower you with love, say he wants a family with you so badly, tell you how good you’d look pregnant, say how much he wants to be a father and how good of a mother you’d be.

-Genuine love bombing: Obito is genuine in the efforts he’s putting in. He’s not trying to manipulate you consciously, he just wants it that badly, and is so upset that you have that IUD and he can’t make it a reality. What you’ll do is up to you, but he’ll never stop nagging you.

- 7/10 general approach, 8/10 women’s rights, 10/10 simping

Shisui:

-Is the most normal about breeding kink. Will say it’s fine, but asks if one day, you might still be open to having children.

-Laughs it off with a sex joke.

-‘That’s good to hear, sweetheart, I’m not sure I can be trusted with pulling out in time’ he would laugh and joke.

-Sometimes will get thoughts of how cute it would be and how happy it would make him to make a family, and he asks how long you think you’re going to keep it.

-Engages in playful jokes about being a dad. Quick glances in your direction to see how you take it.

- 10/10 women’s rights, 9/10 general approach, 9/10 joking as a coping mechanism

Itachi:

-Itachi is completely understanding of the notion of contraception. After all, who would want a child when they’re not ready? But he does want a family with you, and if the time is right and he doesn’t plan to play suicide with Sasuke, he will want you to be the mother of his children.

-Will inquire when you got it… for purposes. You don’t need to know he’s counting down how much time is left until it gets removed

-Will also inquire what the purpose of the contraception is. Is it to be able to have sex without risks until you are ready, or are you planning to not have children at all? He needs to be reassured that you do want a family with him one day, even if it’s not today. He’s patient, but he needs the constant reassurance that one day, he can go wild and give in to his breeding kink. Being an Uchiha is not easy.

- 9/10 general approach, 10/10 women’s rights, 9/10 paranoia

Sasuke:

-You can do whatever you like, but he’s silently brooding over it. Secretly asks himself if you are trying to avoid having a family with him

-Wants to rebuild his clan with you. Will not say he wants you to get it removed. Will say “whatever”.

-You’ll have to go to him to have a conversation about it, and the fact that he wants a family has to be pulled out of his throat with pliers. You’ll have to do the leg work to communicate, but it’s really sweet once he lets go and is vulnerable enough to show you his true feelings.

- 3/10 general approach, 9/10 women’s rights, 10/10 emotionally stunted.

[ironunderstands]

Yapping about why I love Aventio and what I feel makes it a great ship 

(If you hate it I urge you to read this, because you don’t have to agree with me, but I want you to get where Aventio shippers are coming from at least)

I’ve just really wanted to talk about why I love Aventio because the people do not get it like I do and GODDD ITS SO GOOD WHEN DONE CORRECTLY UGHHHHH

Also this is gonna be VERY stream of consciousness I do not have a plan besides dragging you through my brain so enjoy the ride.

I guess the best place to start is the fact that Aventurine and Ratio are my two favorite characters in the game. Like even if they have no interactions with each other ever and might as well be from different pieces of media I would ship them, because I like seeing characters I like interact and the fun police cannot catch me. That’s a really shallow personal reason though and I feel like the rest I have will be able to be appreciated by others.

GOD THE DYNAMIC IS SO GOOD RAAAAAA

Two emotional constipated dumbasses circling around each other like black holes trying desperately to deny and run from their feelings when they have both fallen hard. The lack of acknowledgement of feelings on both ends is TRAGIC and it makes me want to rip my eyes out in a good way, let’s start with Ratio.

Unfortunately my glorious king Ratio has been mischaracterized to hell and back but we will get to that (and the Incorrect Reasons Why People Hate Aventio) later. Instead I will go over his actual character; a deeply insecure, intelligent man who desperately wants the rest of the galaxy to come to the realizations he has long since stumbled upon, but has been so isolated from his peers from such a young age that he’s doomed to fail in literally every social interaction he has and be misunderstood by both the audience in universe and irl (the autistic coding isn’t helping him either).

Ratio is tragically misunderstood again, both in universe and by the audience, which is why it means so much that Aventurine Gets Him. Aventurine pushes his buttons, tears down that literal cold marble facade masking the deeply silly and caring man beneath (this man bathes with rubber duckies in the privacy of his own home 😭), and that scares the shit out of Ratio. People aren’t meant to see through him, Ratio acts rude not just because he believes it’s the best way to help people, and because he believes he himself is mundane and the conclusions they come to should be their own, not his.

No, it’s also because on some level Ratio is afraid to be vulnerable around people. As much as he pretends like it doesn’t affect him, Nous’s rejection has hurt and haunted Ratio for his entire life. And I do mean his entire life, even in high school he had already set up a strict routine for himself, something commented on by his teacher, Ratio has quite literally always been striving for some sort of perfection and the fact that he cannot achieve it kills him.

Moreover, the guy just grew up way too fast, he didn’t have time to develop social skills. We see it in that afformentioned relationship with his teacher, in which they recommend Ratio (who is again in high school) to be moved up to college level stuff and transferred due to his success. He has quite literally never been able to just relax in a environment of his peers, Ratio for some reason we don’t yet know has always been dedicated to constant improvement and that leaves no room for dealing with failure.

On some level, he knows this too, that he can never be perfect. Ratio is part of the Mundanites in the Intelligenica Guild for a reason, he doesn’t just see himself as mediocre because he believes everyone is and that’s ok, but also because he looks down on himself for being too mediocre for the Genius Society, being too mediocre for Nous’s acknowledgement, being too mediocre for anything.

Which is tragic because Ratio is very accomplished and he is very smart, and his character stories aren’t even told from his pov, but rather in the style of documentaries and letters (his professor) and other works on his well acclaimed life. We don’t ever get to see how Ratio really sees himself, just the tiny cracks in his marble facade that let the real man behind the character shine through.

Because that’s what he’s playing 90% of the time, a character. Whether it be at the Herta Space Station in which his real goal was to uproot the researchers blind worship of the Genius Society, or in Penacony in which he plays up the arrogant, narcissistic scholar both people in universe and irl make him out to be, both to serve a goal bigger than himself. 

Sincere moments from Ratio are RARE but god are they beautiful, his conversation from Screwllum in 1.6 and his note to Aventurine in 2.1 will forever haunt me in the best way possible. If you want to understand Ratio as a character, yes read his character stories, but just watch that damn scene with Screwllum it is phenomenal. He cares so much and is so, so bad at expressing it, he drives me nuts, Veritas Ratio the man you are. 

And the thing is, it seems like he’s always been playing a character and doesn’t know where the real him ends anymore so he just sticks to the way people perceive him a lot of the time. Like as a kid he was constantly striving to be the best so he missed a lot of necessary developmental shit, and as an adult he’s a celebrity so it’s hard for him to attach himself to others anyways because society and his students will hound him for it.

And then you throw Aventurine into the mix, and oh boy does shit get interesting.

Veritas Ratio, perfect “unfeeling” Veritas Ratio and the one person who gets him well enough to push all his buttons and expose the vulnerable underbelly he thought he hid so well. On a fundamental level, Ratio understands this, which is why he doesn’t bother with the alabaster head, as pretending the real him is just as unfeeling and uncaring is easier.

So he brushes off Aventurine’s jests as if they are an insult to his very existence, he can’t look in Aventurine’s eyes when he “betrays” him because his poker face would break, he leaves as soon as he’s done talking because lingering would allow the weight of their conversations to sink in. Part of it is because for pretty much all of Penacony, up until the note Ratio gives him, Ratio is acting, trying to play up the role of the arrogant, unfeeling scholar to make Sunday buy the betrayal plan, because to Sunday this behavior is signs of a bad relationship between the two (honestly the fact that the audience also interpreted it this way makes me mad like did yall seriously not pay attention, but also happy because if even the players were fooled that means Sunday buying it is believable). 

However, even if it feeds into his insecurities, Aventurine knows that false facade and loves tearing it down. It’s very telling that the second time we see Ratio really freak out (the first being at Herta Space Station) is at the suggestion that he came to narrate Aventurine’s demo not because of knowledge or respect for the show or whatever, but because he genuinely likes the guy. What makes it even better is that Aventurine is the one who suggested it, and already figured out the excuses Ratio was going to use to deny it. Ratio can fool everyone else in the galaxy, but he cannot fool Aventurine, and on a fundamental level that is what makes their dynamic work, because Ratio knows Aventurine in the exact same way.

Aventurine can shove away people who care about him, out of distrust and fear that they will leave him like his family did. He can believe he’s unloveable and a person so detestable that even the actions he performs in order to stay alive condemn him to hate himself as much as the rest of the galaxy hates him. But, Ratio doesn’t see him that way.

Aventurine doubts his intelligence, if he has really earned anything he’s done and in his voiceline about Ratio, doubting if Ratio even sees him as smart or worthy. However, Ratios voiceline about Aventurine is about how he believes Aventurine is smart and worthy, and that his doubt will be his downfall if he doesn’t come to the realization that he isn’t worthless. 

Ratio knows Aventurine’s one weakness, the one thing that could stop him; himself. That’s why he gives him the note urging him to stay alive and keep on living because ultimately Aventurine will only ever fail if he gives up. And The Note Is Enough, Aventurine walks into the event horizon of a black hole, confident he can return alive on the other side because someone cares about him, BECAUSE RATIO CARES ABOUT HIM, and wants him to live on even if Aventurine doesn’t feel that way towards himself.

In the metaphorical and literal manifestation of the meaningless of the universe, in the face of overwhelming nihility, Aventurine survives because someone loves him, and with that love he’s strong enough to brave even that. 

Even if they can’t admit it out loud, these two deeply, deeply care for one another and trust each other perhaps more than anyone else in the narrative. The betrayal plan would have never worked if there was not mutual trust, Ratio wouldn’t have gone to Penacony in the first place if he didn’t trust Aventurine, and Aventurine wouldn’t have asked him to come if he did not trust him. We don’t just see this trust between Aventurine and Ratio either, and Jade and Topaz both trust him with their cornerstones, but ultimately it’s Ratio who’s physically with him the whole time, risking his life alongside him for the sake of their plan. 

As much as people like to ignore it, lying to the Family members, to Sunday, is extremely dangerous and puts Ratio’s life in danger as much as it does Aventurine’s. Ratio is not an irrational person, he wouldn’t have done that if he didn’t have faith Aventurine would succeed, he would not have done if he didn’t think he would return. They have absolutely faith in one another and it’s beautiful. 

Aventurine’s first constellation is named “Prisoner’s Dilemma” for a reason. A social experiment in which two prisoners are captured and separated, if they sell the other one out and remain silent, they go free but the other remains in jail for 20 years. If they both sell each other out, they get a sentence of 5 years. 

But if they both remain silent, trust the other, they even if they physically can’t communicate and don’t know what the other says, they get the best possible outcome, only one year in jail each. It requires a sacrifice on both ends, they both still have to go to jail, but only for a year, and only if they trust each other completely, as if the other sells them out they will be in jail for 20.

The prisoners dilemma relies completely on trust, and it’s the exact situation Aventurine and Ratio face in the Penacony quests. Aventurines doubts if Ratio’s betrayal was real or not, even if he set it up himself, and Ratio worries about Aventurines survival, if continuing this plan will end well. “You can’t expect a featherless bird to take flight” isn’t just Ratio chastising Sunday, he’s genuinely worried that this plan will put Aventurine at too much of a disadvantage to continue on. 

But they both trust each other, and if just like in the Dilemma neither come out completely unscathed (although it’s much worse on Aventurine’s end), they ultimately achieve their goal. 

God is it sweet and corny in the best way possible 

I want to kill this fandoms perception of stoic, emotionless Ratio because once people realize he’s actually the corniest mf ever is the day I sleep easy. He makes statues of himself doing Jojo poses, he plays chess versus himself, he named himself Veritas (truth), he loves rubber duckies, he literally sits in a bathtub couch, and Aventurine breaths and he gets flustered.

Ratio so deeply silly, chronically corny, it’s a crime he needs to be locked up someone stop him. 

And Aven brings that out of him. His teasing reveals the goofball trying so desperately to disguise himself as a serious scholar. Ratio is very smart of course, but that only makes his silliness better, as you watch this absolute genius of a man behave like a tsundere schoolgirl. 

It’s not like Aventurine is some paragon of seriousness either, he’s the one teasing Ratio, fucking around even in a serious mission. Yeah it’s partly because he wants Sunday to think he’s incompetent, but it’s also because Aventurine genuinely is having fun, enjoying himself before the serious part of the plan kicks in, and the meantime he does that by messing with Ratio.

Their dynamic of Aventurine messing with Ratio, and Ratio trying desperately to pretend like it doesn’t affect him is as hilarious and heartwarming as it is tragic, and that dichotomy is why I love them so much. It’s fun and it hurts so so much because their interactions being this flavor of silly leaves almost no room for the sincerity they both desperately need from one another. 

AND GOD I NEED IT TO HAPPEN. RATIO MENTAL BREAKDOWN SCENE PLEAASEEE LET HIS WALLS CRUMBLE PLEEEEAASEE PLEASE PELADE PLEASEEEE EPLES DOLS AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA 

They’ve gotten closer and closer and closer and soon something’s gonna snap because they are so close yet so distant and if something doesn’t change the tension is just gonna boil over AND I NEED IT TO HAPPEN. I need more Ratio scenes I need more interactions with him I need him with his guard down I need him to profess out loud that he cares about Aventurine I need him to break please he needs it, it would be so good for him. It doesn’t even have to be from Aventurine, just Ratio snapping and revealing the fucking mess he is under his facade and not being rejected by the people he cares about for it is enough.

I honestly doubt it will happen in the story though, as much as I want it to. Although Aventurine’s character demo somewhat changed my mind against this, I feel like hoyo is like “ok they get the vibe between these two we can move on” and the shippers are left to extrapolate how this relationship would go beyond what it is now. As much as I want a breakdown scene for Ratio in general, it probably wouldn’t happen in a while but devs if you are reading this PLEASEEEE. 

The only time Ratio ever gets slightly out of his element is with Aventurine but I need it to go further because god it would be interesting.

Well I’ve deemed that enough yapping about why I love Aventio (for now 😈) so let’s talk about why people hate the ship and why most of the reasons behind it a fucking stupid. (Massive disclaimer of course you can dislike it it’s just a lot of the “oh it’s a horrible ship and anyone who likes it sucks” shit isn’t grounded in reality in the slightest and I’m tired of the slander)

“Ratio was racist to Aventurine”

Now this is a spicy one because if this post was made in 2.0 I would 100% agree with you (during that time I shipped a non canon version of them in which that did not happen because how dare u do my boy like that hoyo). However 2.1 changed a lot and I mean a lot, and basically reframed the 2.0 quests for everyone.

Essentially, Ratio and Aventurine were both acting in that argument scene, making the things Ratio said to Aventurine not how he really sees him, and actively something Aventurine wanted him to say, so you cannot blame him for what he said. I’m not even joking or exaggerating, retrospectively it quite literally does not make sense if you view it in any other way, and honestly even with just the knowledge of 2.0 the scene doesn’t make sense if played straight, so let’s get to why.

a) Ratio and Racism do not mix fundamentally. Ratio is a person who believes that everyone deserves and education regardless of background, that it is a scholars duty to help others achieve that, and no matter who you are, you are capable of intelligence, learning and becoming the best version of yourself, and that those qualities are just limited to geniuses.

THIS AND RACISM DO NOT MIX. “Oh yeah education and improvement is possible for everyone except this specific group of people for some fucking reason!!” Like not only would this scene being serious contradict Ratios entire character, the man who believes people should not be judged for their educational background judging Aventurine for his educational background (that’s actually what the Sigonian upbringing line meant, it was mistranslated in the EN version)??!?!! Make it make sense.

Moreover, half this perception also come from the fact that hoyo made the incredible writing decision of naming Aventurines planet after a slur for Romani people, so unfortunately literally anytime its name, Sigonia, is brought up you’re essentially saying a slur. It’s much worse in the CN version, in EN it’s not obvious at all, because our version of the slur (it starts with a g and ends with a y that’s all the hints you’re getting), doesn’t look like the version of the slur that the name for Sigonia was derived from, which is partly the source of this misconception as I’m pretty certain most people assumed Ratio (and by extension Sparkle) said a slur elsewhere in the conversation when in reality them referring to Avens ethnicity/background/planet IS the slur.

Anyways terrible writing decisions aside, Ratio supposedly being racist doesn’t just contradict his core motivation, it contradicts his job. He’s a scholar, for fucks sake, and racism is inherently illogical. Mmm yes I’m gonna base my identity around finding truth for myself and I will believe government and social propaganda about specific groups of people! Very logical, very scholarly, we all clapped. 

So yeah, doesn’t make sense on a character level, to the point that in 2.0 I concluded that they must be using Ratio as a plot device in that scene to deliver some of Aven’s backstory to the audience due to how OOC it was for him 😭. However I wasn’t necessarily wrong, Ratio was delivering some of Aventurines backstory to AN audience (not just us), and he was behaving OOC in the 2.0 scene, but it was on purpose.

b) The betrayal plan 

Aventurine forms a plan in which him and Ratio pretend to betray one another in order to sneak the Aventurine cornerstone into the dreamscape by replacing it with the Topaz stone (red herring + black hole scene dialogue implies she and Jade are there for other reasons) and the Jade stone (perfect dupe). 

Now this betrayal hinges on Sunday, their main antagonist buying it, actually believing that Ratio would betray Aventurine on a mission as important as Penacony, and it requires Sunday also buying that he is winning the whole time, that the loss of the cornerstones was somehow a fumble on Aventurine’s end rather than something he planned all along. 

So, they stage the 2.0 conversation. Ratio yells at Aventurine for losing the cornerstones, something which was part of their plan the whole time. He then insults Aventurine’s background allowing Aventurine to reveal key details of his past that Sunday would not have learned otherwise, which he uses in the trial against Aventurine. Seriously, Aventurine only found out he was the last Avgin when he became a Stoneheart, do y’all think Sunday summoned that info with his mind or something during the trial (like do you guys genuinely think Sunday read his wiki or something)

Moreover, Ratio not only insults him, but portrays Aventurine as useless, disposable to the IPC because he is apparently already sentenced to death. Why does he do this? Well, so Sunday feels confident enough to do the same to Aventurine. Seriously, sentencing an IPC member, especially a high ranking one to death is a risky move, even for someone as convicted as Sunday, he would need the confidence to do so and learning Aven might already die would give him that ability. 

Because well, it doesn’t matter that much if he’s already going to get disposed of in the near future. I also think the IPC plans to use Aventurine’s “death” as leverage against the family because they were pleased to hear of his death sentence according to Dr. Ratio, meaning a) he likely did not have one from them at the time, although in the past he was sentenced to death and b) even if Aventurine succeeded in getting the cornerstone his seeming loss in the rest of the conversation wasn’t actually a loss at all, getting sentenced to death/“dying” at the very least was part of the plan all along as the IPC could still use it as leverage if things went south.

Continually, Ratio treating Aventurine in the exact same sh1tty way the rest of the galaxy does perfectly slots him into the arrogant, uncaring scholar role, which Sunday knows are some of the most easily manipulated people in the galaxy, considering he tries to bribe Ratio with knowledge about Stellarons it seems he bought this idea hook line and sinker. Sunday isn’t even subtle about it either “I heard you and your companion haven’t been getting along lately” where did he hear that from? Ratio didn’t tell him, and even though we know Sunday was 100% watching the two of them on their little adventure pre-meeting him (the bird and hound statues) that scene hasn’t happened yet so where did he get that from?

Some other interesting proof for it is that the Final Victor lightcone likely depicts Aventurine trying to convince Ratio of this plan of his, the events of which must occur  pre-Penacony for several reasons, the least of which being that we just never see it happen on Penacony which if you think it did we would see it. Moreover lightcones are canonically condensed memories and the Final Victor lightcone released in 2.0, meaning it’s the memory of something that happened before then. 

All signs point to the 2.0 scene, the one people use to paint Aventio as toxic being staged. And I have so much more evidence for this, (Ratio would never agree to go without a plan, Aven clearly formed his pre-Penaocny, so much of the plan like Ratio opening the cornerstone box, which he can’t do up until the betrayal as it’s in Sundays possession, rely on him arriving knowing how to do so, the time discrepancies, the complete 180 in personality Ratio would have to do to go from distrusting Aventurine to putting his whole faith in him, etc), but I will reupload one of my old slideshows to elaborate more on it. Basically the one thing that people use to say it’s toxic is not true and is in fact a greater show of the trust between those two. 

“The shippers are all weird and racist” 

Now this one actually has some truth to it because yes there are some incredibly fucking weird Aventio shippers and I do not blame yall for disliking them.

HOWEVER, most Aventio shippers are normal and hate that shit just as much as you guys do. Like do you realize most shippers also really like these characters and have something insane called morals so they don’t automatically excuse racist fujoshi goobers just because they are making content for their favorite ship. Trust me someone doing that pisses me (and most other Aventio shippers) off significantly more than people who hate the ship. Also free Ratio from this shit man poor guy is getting mischaracterized as a slaveowner by his fans and haters 😭

And like guys, have you ever been in a fandom before, like ever? Weirdos are always gonna be weird and it’s not Aventio’s fault they are this months victims. For a fun little example of how gross other fanbases can be, one of the most popular Overwatch ships on ao3 is Genji Shimada X Hanzo Shimada WHO ARE BLOOD RELATED BROTHERS. THERES LIKE 300+ FICS OF IT, SHIMADACEST IS LITERALLY A TAG ON THERE. I WAS IN THE TRENCHES SEARCHING FOR GENJI HANZO ANGST FICS (Hanzo killed Genji it’s complicated doomed siblings will always get me) AND HAVING TO COMB THROUGH THOSE ABOMINATIONS IN THE PROCESS.

Like please I’m relatively new to fandom culture but yall cannot be acting like this is weird for fans to do, it’s weirdo behavior but it is not unique to the HSR fandom or even Aventio. And even if understandably this makes you not like the ship, don’t paint the people who enjoy it as being the people who do this kinda sh1t. It’s not our fault peak gets tainted by miserable creatures ok, let normal ppl have their harmless fun and stop lumping people together into a monolith. 

?????

Well that’s it that’s all the “valid” reasons people have for hating Aventio, at least the ones I can remember. Everything else is just personal opinion and not at all an objective reason.

“They’re so sibling coded!”

Anyways again obviously you can still dislike it not everything is for everyone, I really just wanted to make this post to demonstrate why I and many others like it, and why the reasons people use to say it’s problematic are incorrect. Feel free to call it mid, block it whatever I don’t care, just don’t harass shippers for having some harmless fun, because the characters aren’t real but the people who like them are and in doing so you are really just being a jerk for no reason. If you somehow hate Aventio and read this the whole way through I congratulate you on your ability to actually listen to other people, and regardless of whether you changed your mind or not I respect you for doing so anyways. Thanks for reading and I would love to hear your thoughts. 

[cybertori]

Placeboo effect and Shifting

Okay humor me but..

I think you could use placebo effect to shift.

Allow me to explain..

for example: this person tells you that if you drink this (🍵) tea, it’ll make you shift NO DOUBT.

Now what happens is, when you let go, solely do believe that the tea will help you shift, no matter what— you do, you absolutely do shift, no “buts” or “ifs” about it— it’s all because you genuinely believe that something as as simple as a tea DOES help you shift. Because it most certainly does, However the trick in this is that the tea doesn’t help you shift in the slightest, it’s all in your consciousness. it’s your brain playing a placebo effect on you, It’s your conscious decision of believing it wholeheartedly. “That person told me that this tea will help me shift— I believe it.” and thanks to this phenomenon; you shift.

Now what if I told you to apply it throughout the day? perhaps you convince yourself that you’ll shift with things you already have to do.

“If I do this homework, it’ll make me shift tonight.”

“if I finish cleaning this, it’ll make me shift tonight”

something as simple as “If I breath in the next three seconds, i’m shifting tonight.”

Honestly this is more of a theory!! (pls dont bash me if I misunderstood the concept of the effect) but I fully believe that something like this may be able to help someone out 🫶

[botanical-garden-system]

Psychology is a very broad field, and there are a lot of different aspects to this field. It’s really hard to navigate this science without a bit of academic knowledge, so I’m going to open up my asks in general for people who are interested in psychology. I have access to several academic databases and I would love to share them with people who want them! I also really want chances to info dump and get excited over psychology more often :,))

My research surrounds psychology, especially psychopathology and DID research, so a lot of my support will be good through that. However, I do have a bit of knowledge on other branches of psychology if you are interested (e.g. sensation and perception, cognitive, early childhood development, some neuropsychology). I can also connect these to psychopathology fairly well, that being my specialty. If this actually gets interest, I may make a side blog to help give psychology education.

I have more information under the cut if you would be interested!

(Yes I know a lot of the tags are DID related but thats a big target audience of mine so sue me /lh)

If you do send me an ask, make sure to be as specific as possible. I can (and will) do some extra preliminary research to figure out things, but the more specific the better for me! Terms that are used colloquially usually have other terms in research/are misunderstood by general discussion. I also have access to general textbooks covering branches of psychology if you are interested in the overall field!

Also please be sure to ask me for a simplified explanation if you need one! The abstract, background info, and discussion sections are your friend.

No question is a stupid question!!

Here are some different overall categories to stir up some interest (and these are categories I definitely feel the most comfortable in, but it is not an expansive list):

Sensation and Perception: This is the study of the different senses and how this contributes to our perception of the world. The research surrounds the physical detection of stimuli through the senses (sensation) and how the brain interprets this information (perception). Some commonly covered sense are: vision, audition (hearing), vestibular, somatosensation (touch), interoception, olfaction (smell), and gustation (taste). (I am currently looking into the vestibular system, it’s very cool).

Cognitive psychology: This is the study of how people think and process things. A lot of this includes attention, perceptions, memory, language, and problem-solving skills. This branch is all about the process of information, including the ones we are not consciously aware of. (I have been a TA for this class).

Developmental psychology: This is the study of development through the human lifespan. It is typically broken down into early childhood (infancy to 10-11 years of age; infancy can also be separated on its own), adolescence (roughly 12-18 years), adulthood (age ranges from 18-65, but this is usually broken down), and later adulthood (65+ years of age). It can be very all encompassing of psychological functions.

Social psychology: This is the study of how society impacts the thoughts, feelings, and actions of the individual—regardless of whether it is an imagined or actual interaction. Social psychology can cover things such as race, ethnicity, class, gender, sexuality, disability, etc.. Covers conformity, deviance, socialization, prejudice, and more.

Personality psychology: This is the study of personality traits we can find in an individual and how it influences an individual’s behaviors, adaptations, or interactions. The three levels of personality analysis: human nature (how alike we are to the entirety of humanity), individual/group differences (how alike we are to specific groups), and individual uniqueness (how we are like no one else).

Biological psychology: This is the study of the biological and physiological processes that make us react and behave in the ways we do. It includes human anatomy to explain the interactions of biology (endocrine, immune, neural pathways, etc.) to psychology. When I use the term “biomarkers,” it is most likely related to biological psychology

I can probably make a few posts about how to navigate research papers, the kinds of papers you will come into, different statistical tests, and some general basic introductory psychology information.

[talonabraxas]

“You can look down from the Ajna chakra (the “third eye”) and see everybody else’s material and mental realms; you see an infinite number of sidereal universes. Surrounding each spark of God is built a universe.” - Goswami Kriyananda

Sirian - Galactic Collective Talon Abraxas

We are The Sirians. We are here to help you to navigate your Earth plane during these challenging times. In today’s transmission we will be discussing the pineal gland chakra. We will give you the Ashkeru perspective on it. We will not be giving you any information on the throat chakra as you call it. From our perspective, it is not of importance at this stage in your development. You all need to realize that you do not primarily communicate via your voice as you may be conditioned to believe. We pay very close attention to your interactions and we are here to tell you that 99.9% of your communication is energetic, it is non-verbal. As you continue to evolve and integrate more of your Higher Selves and move through the fourth dimension, the less important your verbal communication is going to be.

When you start approaching the fifth dimension, you will all start developing a new chakra, a new energy centre between your solar plexus and your heart that will greatly reinforce the amount of Light that you can ground in your body. At the same time, you will also develop a brand new chakra just above your crown chakra that will allow you to process more inter-dimensional energies into your body. At that period of time the majority of you will start to communicate telepathically and you will lose the need for voice communication gradually. If you focus on all your other chakras and in particular to your heart chakra, your throat chakra is automatically taken care of. A being with an open and full heart will communicate clearly and peacefully regardless of the mode of communication, it does not matter if it is verbal or not. We hope we have provided sufficient explanation from our perspective.

Let us now move upwards on the tree of life, as we the Sirian Ashkeru beings see it, superimposed on your Earth-human bodies. The next chakra is the Third Eye as you call it and it corresponds to the organ residing in the middle of your brain called the pineal gland. Your pineal gland is quite possibly the most misunderstood organ in your anatomies. We know its full potential because we helped design it. It is important for us that you are aware of it because for us it is a compass that helps us always find our way back “home”. And your “home” dear ones is not just the Earth-plane home, it is the Galaxy, all the dimensions, all the densities and all the beings residing there.

Your pineal gland is your compass to navigating your intergalactic and inter-dimensional nature. If you want proof that you are not alone in the universe start reading up on the pineal gland, on its crystalline nature, on its electric properties, on its ability to induce altered states of consciousness and connect you to Higher Guidance. We want you to anatomically locate it inside your skull and then gently press your index finger, either of them, on the area between your eyebrows and bring the anatomically correct location inside your skull to mind. We want you to visualize your pineal gland as a light-bulb. A very big, bright light bulb.

There are a lot of theories on your plane that some chemical substances block your pineal glands, and you cannot use them. We are here to tell you that these are fear-mongering theories and that nothing can ever block your pineal glands other than your own consciousness. None of you, and we mean NONE of you, is blocked. There is no chemical substance strong enough to prevent you from accessing your Divine Inter-dimensional nature. Only your consciousness is powerful enough to do that. So, we urge you to stop giving your power away and instead we want to encourage you to start building a connection with your divine compass chakra, the Ka-lea-annah. We will give you a short mantra to recite after you have mentally visualized and anatomically located your pineal gland: Ka-lea-aki, Ka-lea-arah.

Keep repeating these words silently in your head. They are ideal to attune your pineal gland. Repeat them slowly, in a steady rhythm spelling the three syllables carefully and separately. Do this practice for several of your minutes. For those of you feeling a certain affection and closeness for Sirian energies, we recommend visualizing the light bulb emanating a bright sky-blue colour. We want you to know that any colour that is comfortable for you to visualize is the right one. After several rounds of practice, we want you to start engaging with your Guides on this topic and ask questions on topics you would like information for. For those of you that are ready for more advanced spiritual experiences we recommend doing this while you are very relaxed, just before you naturally drift off to sleep. For the rest of you we suggest you do this practice just before your main meditation practice or spiritual practice you are comfortable with.

We are the Sirians and we are pleased to connect with you All!

[dr-entomophiliac]

People who say "how can the villains be redeemed, they've killed people" and "If you relate to them you're an edgelord and/or immoral" treat fiction so literally that it hurts. This may be another MHA ramble but lately I come across this mentality so often concerning any fandom, even after quitting mainstream internet I hear about it from friends.

Typically things with no real consequences do not emotionally affect us, so it takes a ton of skill and effort to create a story that makes the audience care, and so often fiction exaggerates, dramatises and ups the stakes to achieve that.

When you take away all the deaths and the action and the dramatics, and just look at the emotion the author is speaking of, it’s almost always, consciously or subconsciously, coming from very mundane personal experiences.

Like you didn’t have to literally destroy your house and kill your whole family to find a character like Shigaraki relatable, as the emotional impact here, to me, reads not too differently from the world-shattering guilt a small kid would feel from, say, a parents’ divorce. Or the self-blame for repeatedly invoking a parent’s wrath, when in reality that was none other than abuse. World-shattering, because to a 5 year old kid, your family— Home *is* your entire world, and as far as your developing brain can tell, your misbehaving tore your Home apart. If only you could be normal, like the other kids, etc…

Which brings me to Toga who I’m pretty sure represents growing up with either a prematurely developing and/or unconventional sexuality, (plus forcibly masked neurodivergence). For example, who here hasn’t at least at one point in their life felt like they’re committing a crime tantamount to murder just for being gay? lol

The common elements in their backstories is things like self-blame for being different and going against familial or fatherly demands, and feeling shunned and misunderstood by the mainstream world. Very typical upbringing for an artist, right?? (And it’s no coincidence the author was only able to write a supportive family for Izuku by taking away the father.)

Shigaraki’s hatred plus creepy vibes may be too exaggerated and toony to relate to, but even during college (where I was promised the ostracisation would end) I remember constantly feeling uncomfortable in my own skin, and being too weird and intense for my peers like my presence alone was burdening them, so that much about him is relatable. It was just an internal feeling regardless of how one actually presents themself. But art is all about those internal feelings, I think.

That is to say, whoever shames you for finding familiarity with villainous characters, seems no different to me than the bullies from my school years. Especially if they’re applying real life morals onto fiction to justify bringing you down. (Some of said bullies clearly had something difficult going on at home too, so while being a doormat was its own issue, being able to sympathise made it easy not to take them personally). But then there were the kinds of bullies that appeared to be living in a totally different and unburdened world, and the hurt they caused was not out of pent up frustration or whatever but basic apathy. The hero side of MHA vividly reminds me of that apathy and lack of burden.

The story being changed and eventually ruined by Shonen Jump to appease the mainstream fanbase (which from my understanding does not really care about the villains getting a resolution, only punishment) ironically further highlights the real life apathy that the story was criticising in the first place. I get it if it’s kids being that majority, they have growing to do, but then I hear it from an adult my age and….yeah.

[exo-raskreia]

Thoughts on 261 & More Utahime Potential Ideas

WARNING: MAX COPIUM + MANGA SPOILERS

Ok, I know everyone's been losing it lately. I tried to keep calm when the 261 leaks dropped. I'm very disappointed & shocked as well (Gojo... ｡ﾟ( ﾟஇ‸இﾟ+)ﾟ｡ ).

However... The latest developments have also caused me to ascend to a higher state in Delulu Land & this is my hardest cope yet.

First off, it seems to be implied that Gojo chose to become a monster by killing the higher-ups, thinking that he was finally going as far as (stooping as low as) Geto did for his ideals, but didn't want his students to see. And yet, they wanted to be there with him, not wanting him to carry the burden of becoming a monster alone—they would too by going through with the Horrible Plan™. So, miss me with that "Gojo wanted to die & reunite with his best friend" nonsense. There is too much at stake here & Gojo gave his all for his students and allies. Yuuta is currently risking his life too, for his friends & to carry Gojo's burden (let's go a little easier on him, guys, & Maki too, since she was against this plan; mainly for Yuuta, but still. Hakari looked disturbed too...).

This whole thing's a mess, though. What is Gege doing? Why hype up Gojo only to reveal such a horrible plan? Is he playing with us 'cause he's a sadistic freak or could it be there's something more to it? That he's setting up for something else? I've mentioned this before, but could it be that Gojo is truly meant to return at a crucial moment? When all hope seems lost? As it did feel a bit random to reappear during Todo & Yuuji's fight...

WARNING: Harry Potter spoilers!

Nitta must've stopped any further bleeding from Gojo's brain & Yuuta's body, so he, Shoko, & Amai must be keeping them healed & safe. I wonder if they're keeping an eye on the possibility Gojo could regain consciousness. I once mentioned this in a Tweet, but could Gojo be in a similar state as Harry Potter after getting hit by the Killing Curse, seemingly "dead" but actually in a state of limbo where he had met Dumbledore's soul in a place resembling King's Cross Station?

In Gojo's case, he's at an airport where he met his dead comrades (whether it's actually them or just Gojo dreaming, is uncertain; if he is dreaming, then wouldn't that mean he's still alive?). He's given a choice to metaphorically "board a plane" north or south, to return as someone new or to stay as he is. In the Buddhist-inspired JJK verse, north could mean enlightenment, so will Gojo choose that path, as many have theorized? It's uncertain if going north means choosing to live and/or ascending to a higher state (godhood), & if going south means straight up dying/reincarnating or simply returning to his misunderstood self, but I hope Gojo chooses whichever is best for his return. One that will possibly make him stronger but finally gaining a new perspective that will break the barrier between himself & others? Or maybe weaker but finally able to fight alongside the others (especially if he makes a Binding Vow)?

As such, Gojo's body was healed by both Shoko & Yuuta, & since his head had remained intact & on his body throughout the whole ordeal—which is required for RCT to work—could it be he could regain consciousness at some point with his own RCT? Yuuta only has 5 minutes to fight in Gojo's body but it's unknown what would happen once they are up. There are the risks he could die or stay stuck in Gojo's body, both of which are atrocious. However, in order to survive, could Ui Ui do a soul swap before the 5min mark, if/when Gojo revives? Or could it be both souls would automatically switch back? Either way, if the danger is out of the way, would Shoko then be able to perform the operation again to switch their brains back?

However, do the sorcerers really think they can defeat Sukuna in less than 5mins before Yuuta's back to the operating table? This is so convoluted, so I'm not sure how this would go. 😥

Anyway, I've been delulu theorizing Utahime could really have an important role in the Shinjuku Showdown arc here and here for a while now, whether it's to help in Gojo's revival or something else. Even with this latest shocking development, my ideas still stand.

Once again, neither Utahime, Ijichi, & Gakuganji were present at the strategy meetings in the flashbacks, especially the one with the Horrible Plan™. While Gojo wasn't present either for said plan, he was informed of it later & he commented he didn't intend to lose, so he didn't really care what would happen to his corpse anyway. This could mean that Utahime & the others were later informed too but at that point, it may have been too late to stop it. Maybe that's why Utahime had that somber expression in chapter 222. She knew what could happen and DID NOT agree with it, so while everyone was cheering Gojo on with happy expressions, she wasn't. I wonder if she had expressed her disagreement to Gojo right before meeting up with the others or something, as this other panel still makes me curious.

Gege didn't have to include her here but he did. She looks nervous... I once made a silly post on both GojoHime panels in chapter 222 here.

Anyway, Ijichi wasn't even present which is kind of strange while Gakuganji is typically so serious anyway.

At this point, one's inclined to believe that maybe they really were up to something else. It's too suspicious and obvious that these 4 were not a part of any of the important strategy meetings with the other sorcerers. It seems deliberate on Gege's part. Which is why these new delulu ideas come into play.

MAX COPIUM FROM THIS POINT ON.

Shoko has shocked us all with her very blasé attitude about the Horrible Plan™, that even Gojo said he was hurt annoyed by it. Either she was bottling it all up (she really did seem worried during the battle...), fully trusted Gojo in not losing (but she should've assured him?), or maybe, just maybe, there's a tiny possibility that she's hiding something. Could she have another plan?

Whether she does or not, Shoko is not part of my delulu ideas this time. I'm done. I had mostly brought her up before because of the possibilities & how much others hyped her up for it, but my delusions have always mainly revolved around Utahime. Shoko thankfully did her part already by helping heal Gojo's body & now it's Utahime's turn to take care of the rest.

Sure, Gojo could return on his own through a Binding Vow and/or his own RCT that should be working again, but as I brought up before in my first aforementioned delulu post, what if Utahime boosts his RCT to quicken and strengthen it? Nice and simple, right?

Or, what if Utahime's singing will finally come into play? As I also mentioned before, what if Gojo can hear her in the limbo & will be guided back by her voice? Like the luring of a siren? Will she call him by (first) name? Shrine maidens can summon spirits & gods, so if that applies to the JJK verse, could Utahime perform a ritual to reach & summon Gojo's soul? Especially if he chooses enlightenment? Now, I would hope this wouldn't be a temporary thing...like he returns to help one last time before departing to the heavens in a godhood state or something. Oh, Gege, u better not...

What if her singing does have healing abilities? But even more crazily, what if they're not physical, but spiritual? Could Utahime restore both Gojo's & Yuuta's souls to their bodies? Could she help Yuuta's soul remain safe once the 5mins are up?

For all this to happen, Utahime would have to be in the medical room. Where is she currently? Is she on her way? Is she still out on the battlefield possibly boosting the remaining sorcerers (well, hardly anyone left, tbh)? If she's headed to the medical room with the intent to help Gojo, I imagine it'd shock Shoko & the others. Would they know what she intends or not? Would they think it's possible? Would they try to stop her?

This is super insane & bordering on headcanon (lol, I warned you), but wouldn't it be amazing if she could have possibly managed to achieve Domain Expansion during her long absence in the manga post-Shibuya? What if it was kept a secret from all? What if as soon as Gojo laid his Six Eyes on her after his unsealing, he knew? What if that's one of the things they were cultivating, planning around, during the time-skip? Could it have offensive abilities involving her voice, like a siren? Like maybe she can make the enemy do her bidding or de-buff them? What if it's the opposite & instead has healing/buffing abilities? Any ally inside it would be in a state of max HP? Now, whether she would use it to actually heal Gojo or in combat, who knows.

I once read a wonderful one-shot fic in which Utahime achieved DE by finally accepting everything about herself, which included her suppressed feelings for Gojo. I know it's fully delulu but do we really know Utahime's full abilities? How is she a Semi-Grade 1 sorcerer if she can only buff (unless her CT is seen as good enough to warrant the rank)? Come on, Gege, stop wasting her character potential.

Remember that Sukuna still hasn't been taught about love? Based on Yorozu's version of it, his idea of love is to become vulnerable enough to connect with others & not feel lonely anymore by being defeated in battle; basically, get humbled, lol. He thought only Gojo could teach him how to overcome the barrier between himself & others deemed weak. But how would that be now, if Gojo's possibly in a state of limbo? (Is it another hint to his return?) The only other people that could possibly teach Sukuna are pure-hearted souls like Yuuji or Yuuta, the latter whom has also experienced romantic love. However, Yuuta just "discarded" his humanity by choosing to become a "monster", so Sukuna may throw that in his face. Taunt him & the other sorcerers for going against their ideals to defeat him.

What if it's not one person, but multiple that will teach Sukuna? Nakama power, y'all. What if Utahime could be one of those? She's the most pure-hearted sorcerer besides Yuuji. Her love for her students, helping Gojo whenever he asked despite her "hate" towards him, her not getting that Mei was asking for money to promote her in S2E1 (and Mei didn't even push it as if knowing Uta would never agree), her not being informed about the assassination attempt on Yuuji at the Goodwill Event by Gakuganji & her students (not even by Gojo, who suspected something), & she wasn't even present at the meeting for the brain switch plan...

It's like Utahime is being protected and/or her comrades know that she would never support all this immorality. She's a selfless person, often seen risking her life or attempting to for others in her little screentime. Not to mention that her CT is literally named after a love song. If romantic love were to be addressed at all in this fight, besides Yuuta, could Utahime play a role there? Her giving her all to help Gojo while Gojo had done his all to protect her during his fight with Sukuna? (You know, since it's still too sus that Sukuna doesn't know about her CT... Gojo entrusted Ijichi, the man he trusts the most, to keep Utahime safe for her ritual...)

I've talked about this image before but I may have discovered something interesting: the Angel Number 3612. Gojo's revival could be on the horizon... I elaborate in this post.

(Shoutout to some other amazing theories out there on Utahime's potential in helping Gojo. As a shrine maiden here & here, or even as Buddha's wife here, for example. These are seeming more & more plausible to me now, since Gege mercilessly threw a wrench at us in 261... I'm coping hard).

Having a plan unrelated to Gojo's revival is still possible. One thing I've seen thrown around is what if Utahime & team will try to stop the merger? If we go with the idea that Utahime has healing abilities for spirits, could it be that she could help restore Tengen's soul or something, like at least bring her back to her previous state before Kenjaku took over? Help her regain consciousness if she lost it? (FULL DELULU, I KNOW).

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Utahime's only a minor side character, I know that 😮‍💨. Her having such an important role & any other formidable abilities may seem like a reach, but at this point, I need something to hold onto. I don't wanna lose hope like several others have. It's hard but... As long as it's not 100% confirmed that Gojo's dead, then there is still hope... There's still so much we don't know... His choice of north & south is still up in the air, his answer to Geto's old question, his reaction to everything that happened during his time in the Prism Realm, what happened in the Prism Realm, what he did during the one month time-skip... Gege, come on...

The fact Sukuna still doesn't know about Utahime's CT is something I can hold onto, right? I will ride this wave until it crashes onshore.

[rosethornewrites]

NR, E, & M reading since 10/30

Finished

Not Rated:

The Untamed: With Nature's Help, by YenGirl (2 chapters)

A fun filled afternoon turns into something more meaningful thanks to some grilled trout, a thunderstorm and a cave.

What is 'white', what is 'black', by KarenF (3rd in a series, 7 chapters)

Lan QiRen learns that there is no clear divisible lines between black and white. The most important thing is the heart.

And, Wei WuXian’s Fourth Path does work splendidly in emergencies!

Explicit:

We can fix that, by Spindoctor (12 chapters)

Lan Wangji has an arranged marriage with Nie Mingjue. The marriage goes well. Then they see how starved Wei Ying is in the burial mounds. That's unacceptable. They take him home and fix it. Thoroughly.

2am on a saturday, by detectorist

“He’s so beautiful,” Lan Zhan says, tongue loosened by the weed. Besides, Mianmian’s room is his safe space. He can say what he likes here, so he does. “I want to know what his mouth tastes like. I want him to put his mouth on my—”

“No, no, no, no,” Jin Zixuan says, making an X with his arms. “For the love of Christ, keep it PG-13, please.”

—

In which Lan Zhan gets high, slides into Wei Ying's DMs, and somehow ends up having the harmonica played to him at 2am in the morning.

Wishing on Runway Lights, by inflight_gremlin (🔒, 7 chapters)

With the Chrismas holidays fast approaching, so does the storm of the century. Through it all, issue after issue, no one expected the little wishes made on runway lights to bring two strangers together like never before.

Or

Amidst flight delays and cancellations, Wei Ying finds himself taking care of a young boy left stranded at the airport. The initially unfortunate circumstances of their meeting would lead Wei Ying to meeting Lan Wangji, the child’s father. From then on, it’s a quick one way trip to falling in love.

Mature:

familiar motions, by moonxlight

Lan Wangji makes origami bunnies to cope with his emotions, in which he has many.

(Most of which are related to Wei Ying)

You Done Fucked Up, by enbysaurus_rex (5 chapters)

Jiang Cheng almost kills Wei Wuxian (again), but this time, he fucks up and it's on Lan territory. A very, very long come-to-Jesus moment, enforced by the Lan brothers and the Lan juniors.

the soft animal of your body, by howodd5ever

The problem was that he didn’t remember anymore why he’d left. Sure, something about finding himself or discovering his place in the world, or whatever other bullshit he’d talked himself into to end up in the middle of nowhere. Alone.

He missed Lan Zhan.

Wei Wuxian sets off alone after the events at Guanyin Temple and finds himself in pretty serious trouble.

clouds in the whites of our eyes, by butchgoth (GremlinGirl)

“About-about earlier, I…”

“I misunderstood. My fault.”

“What? You didn’t misunderstand. I don’t think.” He smiled, rubbing at his arm. The snap in the air was as crisp as biting into ice chips, and goosebumps were rising on his skin. “Uh, okay, um, this is really weird for me. I...don’t remember you.”

Lan Wangji slowly glanced over at him, his lips twitching into a frown. “What?”

“Yeah…” He tipped his head back, looking up at the stars. He’d always been able to see more when he’d lived out on the lake in Yunmeng, but the city wasn’t half-bad. “This is uh…”

“The doctors said you were fine.”

His head twisted, and Wei Wuxian stopped walking. Lan Wangji did as well, as if on instinct, and they stared at each other. “Yeah, well...I wasn’t. I don’t remember much of the hospital, but...I know what jiejie told me. After the accident...I woke up, everything was fine for about a week. I was going in and out of consciousness, but I seemed to be improving. But, then I had a seizure. And then another one. And another one. They took me for an MRI, and my brain was swelling.” He twisted up his lips, and Lan Wangji reached out for him, only to pull his hand back at the last second.

used to want you dead (now i only want you gone), by Ariaste

“It is not a coup,” Meng Yao says, which he has said at every weekly covert cheeseburger assignation since they began doing them. “A coup is, quote: a sudden, violent, and illegal seizure of power from a government. Unquote.”

“The HOA counts as a governing body. Trying to take it over is a coup.”

***

Two gremlins, eating cheeseburgers in the car in a parking lot at 1am, five feet apart because they're not friends.

Unfinished

Not Rated:

The Cultivation World Needs a Reset, by FangirlingIsLife

Do not succumb to anger.

It was one of the founding rules of the Lan Clan and yet Lan Zhan could feel nothing other than a cold fury filling his veins.

He watched as his husband in all but ceremony let himself fall to Jiang Cheng’s blade.

Even at his death, his soul mate would never raise a hand to defend himself against their tyranny.

Well fuck that.

i want to live a real life, by stvrrylost

In the wake of his first death, Wei Wuxian, the only child of Cangse Sanren and Wei Changze, had left his husband, Lan Zhan, a letter and a son, a small four year old boy, nearly five year old, to look after.

In the wake of his second, Wei Wuxian had left him a child again, only this time, the child was himself, nearly thirty years ago.

Explicit:

Now that I am awake, by jalpari

As long as the sea is bound to wash up on the sand…

and the stars are shining above…

we will meet again....

Or; the post-canon LWJ/WWX getting together and JC & WWX reconciliation fic I began writing long before any of my other wangxian stories.

The Threads of Fate, by WaitForTheSnitch

“What would you do if you could have him back?” Nie Huaisang asked him, a bit too seriously as he leaned forward.

“There is no way for a dead cultivator to return,” Jiang Cheng scoffed, not even willing to entertain the thought.

“Perhaps, perhaps not,” Nie Huaisang shrugged, “Even if he came back, that wouldn’t do much to help, would it? Your sister is still gone. His reputation still damaged.”

“Stop speaking in riddles,” Jiang Wanyin growled, “What did you come here for, Nie Huaisang?”

“I asked you what you would do for your brother back,” Nie Huaisang started, “I would do anything to have mine back, Jiang Wanyin. And I’m here to offer you that same choice. Because our brothers’ deaths never should have happened. They happened because of schemes and plots. They happened because of lies and deception. Your brother was made to be a villain and was led to his death because he was too powerful. Mine was murdered because he stood in the way of Jin Guangshan.”

There's nothing Jiang Cheng wouldn't do to have his siblings back. And when Nie Huaisang comes to him with a proposal to save them by changing everything, he doesn't even hesitate to agree.

Mature:

You and Me (We Have History), by TheImpossibility

This was so typical of Wei Wuxian. He had an uncanny knack for being absent when he was needed, and present when he was not. Jiang Cheng wanted him to be gone, needed him to be dead —no he didn’t— but there he was, aimlessly wandering around Yunmeng without a trace of his memory.

It was maddeningly typical of him.

Jiang Cheng felt an overwhelming urge to scream.

我心中的恐怖；forever haunting me, by bonesbythesea

“Blood splatter across a snowy mountain was what greeted Wei Wuxian. Lan Zhan unmoving in Wen Ning’s arms, truly the jade statue he was described to be.”

Lan Zhan's punishment, but what if it happened way before the siege?

[yujeong]

I hope it's ok to throw up some Pete thoughts into your inbox, but that last rb of the fake vegaspete scenes has me thinking soooo many thoughts too. Even thinking about the original scene with Pete giving Porsche blocking advice... Do you think it's hard for Pete not to just see the violence in everything? Do you think it's hard for him to tell the difference? Was it easier for him to project his trauma onto Vegas than it was Porsche? Sorry sorry, my brain is kicking around so many hypotheticals that I almost want to write poetry

Oh anon, first of all, you can always come and throw at me *all* the Pete thoughts, I assume you've seen my blog and know how I'm like about that man. Second of all, damn, those questions are fascinating. I've never actually thought of Pete and violence and sex in that way before, at least not consciously (I think - I've only been thoroughly obsessing over him for almost 2 years lol). But anyway, for starters, I don't believe Pete is a stranger to sex. Even if he's a virgin in the show (something that was never confirmed), he's not oblivious to it. No matter the show's insistence at using Pete for comedic purposes in regards to him not knowing KP were a thing, I refuse to believe it! So, while, unfortunately, the scene with Porsche and the hickeys cannot really be interpreted in any other way than Pete having misunderstood what he saw on Porsche's neck, your question raises a good point for his character: does every act, including sex, involve violence for him? In my opinion, yes. Yes it does. Pete seeing the potential violence in everything could be a trauma response or a defense mechanism, both of which highly probable, as evidenced in ep4 with the table scene (though in that one, we had actual violence and potential escalated violence, depending on Tankhun's behaviour which Pete tried to control). Because of this, I don't think it's a matter of him finding it hard or not; it's a subconscious thing. I also don't think it'd be hard for him to tell the difference, but rather, Pete wouldn't *need* to tell the difference, because sex isn't something made for him. He's never thought it'd be something he would experience in his life before Vegas, so why distinguish one kind of violence from another? This is one of the main reasons why I utterly love their NC scene: it wasn't violent. Sure, it might have been painful - Pete hadn't completely healed yet, he was still wearing bandages and, depending on one's headcanon or not, penetration surely hurt to some degree - but it wasn't violent. It was hot kisses and licking necks and ass eating and slow thrusts and more kisses and.. yeah, you get the point. I believe it wasn't what Pete expected, same as the audience who witnessed it. Perhaps he expected another kind of violence, but got something completely different in the end, which is why Vegas using the handcuff again hit Pete so hard. The usual kind of violence returning, after the lack of it. He got too comfortable. He forgot to protect himself from the violence. Now, in regards to your last question, I believe Vegas' trauma is easier for Pete to project himself onto because it's a mirror (something @loveliesblood has actually said, because their brilliant character interpretations are brilliant). Pete's been there before, so he can empathize with a lost Vegas who's only response to the abuse is to blame himself. There's also the safety of distance: the days he'd been subjected to boxing against his will are over, so he's not in direct danger of his father abusing him like Vegas is. With Porsche, it's a little tricky. Taking as a hypothetical that he learns about what happened to Porsche somehow, the story hits a little *too* close to home for him to be able to process the trauma. There's no distance this time: it's here and now and he has to face it. But Pete is a hypocrite with no clue of what introspection means, so he shields himself from it, like he tries to do in ep13, in the infamous bathtub scene with Porsche, my favourite scene in the whole show. He cowers and hides and deflects. It's gorgeously agonizing to watch and I love it so, so much. This ended up being a little too long and I'm scared that I fucked up your incredible ask, but to salvage it a little bit, I'd like to highly encourage you to write the poetry you mentioned; we can never have enough of it, especially in the VP fandom. I'm sure it'll be wonderful ❤️ (Shoutout to @musictooth and their series of made-up vegaspete scenes, thank you so much for the brainworms haha)

[poe-of-the-odd]

The worms ate my brain! Unfortunately, I decided to write! Please ignore how it was written and maybe enjoy what was written :)

Small Landseil .. Thing ?

Ned Land shifts his weight uncomfortably from one foot to the other, questions weighing heavy on his tongue. He half-consciously stares holes into Conseils back; his eyes follow the movement of the man's shoulder as he diligently writes his daily journal.

Suddenly, the movements halt and Conseil sits up pin straight.

"Yes, Ned?"

The Canadian snapped out of his semi dissociated state in an instant.

"Ah! I'm very sorry. Can I ask you a question?"

"Ask away."

He puts down his pen but doesnt turn around.

"The Professor, ... Do you love him?"

Conseil sits back in his chair.

"Of course", he says, without a moment of hesitation.

Ned laughs awkwardly.

"You say that so easily! No shame at all..."

At this, the younger man finally turns around. He looks at his friend for a while, trying to assess the intention behind his statement.

"Shame. For what exactly? For love? I think thats awfully narrow minded."

"Oh! No! Not at all, thats not-" Ned scrambles for the right words.

"I just meant...it's...good? I mean most people would probably be ashamed to admit it so outright. What, with how it's looked upon and all..."

Conseil crosses his arms in front of his chest and takes a moment to think.

"I don't particularly care for how things are 'looked upon'. I consider it a valuable trait, my love for Master. It makes my work enjoyable and my studies easy to follow. Above all, it makes me an ideal employee."

Ned considers the explanation for a few seconds, nods, opens his mouth to ask another question and closes it again without having done so. In truth - and being so honest with himself is truly upsetting - he wanted the answer to be anything but "Yes". What to do with this realisation, he has yet to decide.

"Does he love you as well?", he finally asks.

"He loves me well enough and cares for me deeply. He certainly has a way of showing it." At the last part, Conseil shakes his head a little.

"Do people ever...do people know you're..together?"

This is where Conseil's eyebrows wander so far up his forehead, Ned would not be shocked if they disappeared into his hairline.

"I think, dear Ned, you have misunderstood me. I am not in love with Master. I love him, very dearly! Ah, but I see how you came to that conclusion. No, I am not in love with him." He laughs. "No, just imagine how taxing that would be... Besides, currently both our hearts are quite take by someone else. However fortune or un-fortunate of a choice that is on his part..."

The Canadian nods again, unsure how to proceed; or how to process the pounding in his chest, which had rudely presented itself the second the other man alluded to being in love with someone, after all.

He is pulled out of his own thoughts by Conseil speaking once more. So occupied was he by them that he did not notice him crossing the room to stand right in front of him now.

"However fortune or un-fortunate Master may be in his affections, I trust that my heart is in better, kinder hands."

His long fingers cradle around Ned's large, warm hand and give it a tight squeeze.

"I hope my trust is not misplaced, Master Land."

Then, the man turns and with an explanation of "Master has not come to see us at all this evening. I shall pay a visit." he exits the shared room; leaving Ned Land flustered, his heart beat loud and heavy in his ears. He believes the last time he felt like this, he must have still been in school.

[truenotnew]

Free Will: A Persistent Illusion at the Crossroads of Christ and Consciousness

⸻

1. Introduction: The Mirage of Free Will

The belief in free will — the idea that an individual self independently chooses actions — lies at the heart of much of Western Christianity.

Yet both true spiritual insight and modern neuroscience declare the same fact:

Free will is an illusion.

• The experience of making choices is real.

• The assumption of an independent chooser is not.

This distinction is critical. Without it, the Gospel itself is misunderstood, salvation is distorted, and God’s true sovereignty is denied.

⸻

2. Scriptural Witness: Christ Against Free Will

Though often obscured by dogmatic readings, Jesus Himself consistently pointed past the illusion of separate agency.

Consider:

John 5:19

“The Son can do nothing by himself; he can do only what he sees his Father doing.”

John 14:10

“The Father, living in me, is doing His work.”

John 15:5

“Apart from me you can do nothing.”

John 6:44

“No one can come to me unless the Father draws them.”

John 10:30

“I and the Father are one.”

Luke 17:21

“The kingdom of God is within you.”

Jesus described a reality where there is no separate chooser — only the will of God unfolding through and as us.

⸻

3. The Fall: The Birth of Illusion

The story of the Garden of Eden is not an ancient moral fable about disobedience.

It is a mythopoetic revelation about consciousness itself:

• Eating from the Tree of Knowledge symbolizes the birth of dualistic perception.

• The first sin was not behavior, but the illusion of separateness from God — the belief in a self independent of Being.

This separation unfolds even today, within every human life.

Developmental psychology mirrors this pattern:

Around 15 to 24 months of age, a child begins to recognize themselves in a mirror — passing what is called the self-recognition test.

Before this moment, the infant lives in an Edenic state of pure presence, without division between self and world.

Afterward, the sense of “I” emerges, and with it, the duality of subject and object — the knowledge of good and evil, of self and other.

Thus, the Fall is not a punishment.

It is a developmental milestone.

Genesis 3:9 (paraphrased):

“Where are you?”

God’s question is not geographical.

It is existential.

“Why do you now imagine yourself apart from Me?”

The moment the child recognizes the reflection as me, a boundary forms.

The loss of innocence is not moral — it is cognitive.

From unity to separation.

From being to self-consciousness.

Free will, therefore, is not a divine gift.

It is the byproduct of this illusory fracture.

The first symptom of spiritual sickness.

But even this fracture serves a purpose:

The ego must arise so that it can later be transcended.

The path of salvation is not to destroy the ego, but to see through it — to return, as Jesus said, by becoming like little children once again.

Not regressing into ignorance, but consciously stepping beyond the illusion of separation.

⸻

4. Neuroscience: Modern Confirmation

Neuroscientific studies confirm what Christ already revealed.

• Benjamin Libet showed that the brain initiates actions before we consciously decide to act.

• Soon, Haynes demonstrated that choices can be predicted seconds before conscious awareness.

The brain acts first.

The mind invents the story of choice afterward.

You are not driving the car. You are the scenery the car moves through.

⸻

5. The Flat Earth Analogy: Misreading Reality

Believing in free will today is like insisting the Earth is flat because “it feels that way.”

At one time, humanity lacked the vantage point to see otherwise.

• Free will appears real from the limited, egoic view.

• But step outside that narrow perspective — and the illusion collapses.

Proverbs 3:5–6

“Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding.”

Just as the Earth never changed its shape, reality never depended on your opinion of it.

⸻

6. The Overview Effect: The Astronaut’s Vision of No-Self

When astronauts view Earth from space, many report a cognitive shift called the Overview Effect:

• A sudden experience of oneness.

• A collapse of national, racial, and personal boundaries.

• A direct knowing: we are not separate from each other or the Earth.

This mirrors the Christian mystical realization:

When seen clearly, there is no self apart from God. More importantly, it illustrates the difference between thinking you know something and experiencing it without conceptual overlays. There is a significant difference between having opinions of free will and the experience that it is an illusion. Not the theory,the direct experience. Astronauts read about Earth from orbit.

They heard the reports. They knew the theory.

They thought they understood.

Then they saw it.

And everything changed.

Not because they learned something new.

Because they came into direct DIRECT EXPERIENCE.

The Overview Effect is the destruction of secondhand knowledge.

It is the gap between thinking you know and seeing without distance.

John 17:21:

“That they all may be one, Father, just as you are in me and I am in you.”

It was never a belief. It was contact.

It was not philosophy. It was rupture.

The same is true of the Kingdom of God.

You can argue theology forever.

You can memorize every verse.

You can preach for decades.

But until you see directly, you are still on the ground staring at a map.

John 17:21

“That they all may be one, Father, just as you are in me and I am in you.”

They saw — not believed — the truth Jesus pointed to.

⸻

7. True Repentance: Metanoia, Not Moralism

“Repent” in the Greek New Testament is metanoia — a complete change of mind, a shift in perception.

Not:

• Feeling guilty.

• Trying harder.

• Boasting about choosing Christ.

But:

• Dying to the illusion of being a separate self.

• Realizing salvation is already present.

Matthew 18:3

“Unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven.”

Children live without a solidified ego. That is the key.

Generally speaking and frankly all of Jesus' dualistic language can be understood as him seeing himself as a deterministic force in people's lives.  Furthermore, it can be argued that he was communicating to ppl at their level in a way they could benefit from his expressions. To argue against this interpretation based on his use of dualistic agential language is to misunderstand the mechanics of determinism. Taking perennial wisdom traditions into context, one could legitimately argue that it was a pedagogical concession to human cognitive limitations. Imho All apparent calls to choice are accommodated as pragmatic expressions, not literal affirmations of metaphysical free agency.

⸻

8. Salvation: Not Achieved, but Revealed

Luke 17:21

“The Kingdom of God is within you.”

Salvation is not a prize for good behavior.

It is the unveiling of the unity that has always been.

Free will obscures it.

Surrender reveals it.

John 8:58

“Before Abraham was, I AM.”

Not “I was.”

I AM — timeless Being, always already true.

⸻

9. Hard Determinism: God’s Sovereignty Is Total

Scripture makes clear:

God alone moves all things.

Romans 9:18

“Therefore God has mercy on whom He wants to have mercy, and He hardens whom He wants to harden.”

Isaiah 45:7

“I form the light and create darkness, I make peace and create evil. I, the Lord, do all these things.”

There is no free will.

There is only God’s will.

Your resistance to this truth?

Also God’s will — until you awaken.

⸻

10. Conclusion: Beyond the Mirage

Free will is no more real than a child’s belief that the sun moves across the sky because the Earth appears still.

It is a misreading of perception — a developmental phase, not an eternal truth.

The Genesis story captures this shift with poetic precision:

The birth of the self, the knowledge of good and evil, the perception of separateness.

Developmental psychology now echoes the same pattern:

The moment a child recognizes its reflection, the original innocence is lost.

Not because of guilt.

Not because of rebellion.

But because consciousness itself fractures into subject and object.

Free will arises from this fracture.

The illusion of an independent self choosing independently is a side effect of perceiving oneself as separate from God.

But what was broken was not broken in anger.

It was broken in service to a greater return — a journey through separation back into union, not by erasing the ego, but by seeing through it.

The Gospel is not a just a plea for you to make better choices in harmony with your community.

It is an announcement that the separate chooser never existed.

It is not about earning salvation.

It is about recognizing that salvation — unity, wholeness, Eden — was never lost except in the mind.

John 14:20:

“On that day you will realize that I am in my Father, and you are in me, and I am in you.”

The “day” is not on a calendar.

It is the moment of awakening — the moment the mirror dissolves and you remember the world was never outside of you, always and never not, right now.

You are not the author of your being.

You are the being itself watching itself be.

Free will is not a gift.

It is a misunderstanding.

The Fall was not the beginning of evil.

It was the beginning of illusion of separation.

The return is not achieved through willpower.

It is revealed when the illusion of will dissolves.

You were never separate.

You only thought you were.

The Kingdom of God is not elsewhere.

It is here.

Now.

And always has been.

⸻

Footnote:

Classical theological frameworks that attempt to reconcile free will with divine sovereignty (e.g., Augustine, Calvin) remain rooted in the illusion of separate agency and dualistic perception. The present work proceeds from the unveiled recognition that such frameworks, though earnest, operate within the very condition of separation that Christ came to dissolve. Astronauts in the international space station don't argue with flat earth theorists about flat earth theories. Columbus probably didn't entertain debating it either. Just saying. They just keep it real. That said, by all means continue to believe in free will, or not. But ask yourself, could you choose otherwise? What if Gods will is for you to believe in the illusion of free will until you don't, for reasons beyond your capacity for understanding? Why didn't Jesus just say this then? For the same reason you're driven to thinking and asking that question in the first place. Because this concept is not easy to grasp and sometimes it can ONLY be pointed at. Hence all the parables. To put it simply, you didn't choose what kind of soil you are, but oh is God going to till the hell out of you if your soil is hard headed. 😂I kill me. Get it? Or did that go over your head lik a halo😉

Bibliography (anchored in Scripture and Science)

• The Bible (Gospels of John, Luke, Matthew; Romans; Genesis)

• Libet, B. (1983). Time of conscious intention to act…

• Soon, C. S., Brass, M., Heinze, H. J., & Haynes, J. D. (2008). Unconscious determinants of free decisions…

• Seth, A. (2021). Being You: A New Science of Consciousness.

• Friston, K. (2010). The Free-Energy Principle…

• Nisargadatta Maharaj, I Am That

• Spinoza, Ethics

• Schopenhauer, The World as Will and Representation

⸻

Who is this essay for?

People already cracking open to the unreality of the ego.

Those who have started to notice that “I” isn’t as solid as they once believed — maybe through deep suffering, mysticism, psychedelics, meditation, existential reflection, or just raw life experience.

It’s for seekers who are ready to be destabilized further — who want the lie of separate agency exposed even if it hurts a little.

Mystics, nondualists, serious contemplatives.

Folks drawn to Meister Eckhart, John of the Cross, Advaita Vedanta, Sufism, Zen, Christian apophatic theology — those are the natural audience.

They know something is wrong with the “free will” story, and they’re hungry for a deep, honest, scripturally-rooted yet post-conceptual articulation.

Thinkers unafraid of paradox.

Because the essay moves between apparently contradictory modes (scripture and neuroscience, determinism and teaching, humor and rupture), it’s perfect for people who can hold multiple truths together without freaking out.

⸻

Who is this essay NOT for?

Hard-line free-will moralists or conventional evangelical Christians.

If your identity is tightly wrapped around choosing Jesus and personal responsibility as the crux of salvation — this essay will feel like an attack on everything you think makes life meaningful.

It doesn’t gently argue with that framework. It basically declares it a misunderstanding born of a cognitive illusion.

Pure materialist atheists without any mystical bent.

If someone believes that all experiences of unity, oneness, or the collapse of self are just brain glitches with no real “truth content” — they’ll find the essay too spiritually loaded.

It assumes that mystical perception is more real, not less.

People who demand simple, clean-cut systems.

The essay invites living into the mystery, not resolving it neatly.

Anyone looking for tidy theology (“God is sovereign and humans are responsible, neatly tied up in a bow”) is going to be frustrated because this essay rips that open and says: “Deal with the unresolvable directly.”

⸻

[disease]

HUMAN // THEORIES

Humans, or modern humans (Homo sapiens or H. sapiens), are the most common and widespread species of primate, and the only surviving species of the genus Homo. A great ape characterized by their hairlessness, bipedalism, and high intelligence, humans have large brains, enabling more advanced cognitive skills that enable them to thrive and adapt in varied environments, develop highly complex tools, and form complex social structures and civilizations.

I. SPECIES OF PRIMATE – in terms of biology, we fall under the classification of animals. we share more similarities with fellow species under this classification opposed to less similarities. study the behavior of fellow animals, limitlessly, and focus your attention on that of their primitive states-of-being. apply these tactics to our advanced state of multi-faceted intellect, and learn from them.

II. HIGH INTELLIGENCE – a privilege amongst humankind that, to an exponential degree, fails to be utilized by the masses. success in relation to survival is largely attributed to this level of intelligence on a day-to-day basis. with the exception of cases linear with cognitive neurodiversity—excuses against the enrichment and manifestation of this attribute remain impotent. failure to both utilize and acknowledge this predisposition will only lead to mortal sterility.

Humans are highly social, with individual humans tending to belong to a multi-layered network of cooperating, distinct, or even competing social groups—from families and peer groups to corporations and political states. As such, social interactions between humans have established a wide variety of values, social norms, languages, and traditions (collectively termed institutions), each of which bolsters human society.

III. HIGHLY SOCIAL – as if an art form opposed to a science, one must not only enforce to find a comfortable balance regarding this subject, but also attune themselves into the identification of natural compatibility, emotional maturity, and self-interest of individuals they encounter. if one chooses to form a social attachment with a subject who’s imbalanced in any aforementioned concepts, a state of emotional/energetic hemorrhage may occur. ideally, one must invest the majority of their energy into those in which form a unified duality of mutual restoration with oneself; opposed to the inclination of self-sacrifice, fueled by a multitude of various factors. one must vigilantly prioritize themselves as to not grow tarnished in an act of preservation for not only themselves—but for the consistent nourishment of their otherwise deep-rooted connections in which an active catalyst has been established. avoid social martyrdom.

Humans are also highly curious: the desire to understand and influence phenomena has motivated humanity's development of science, technology, philosophy, mythology, religion, and other frameworks of knowledge; humans also study themselves through such domains as anthropology, social science, history, psychology, and medicine.

IV. HIGHLY CURIOUS – passions, as sacred as they can be bewildering, [sub]consciously occupy the largest percentage of our time. to be mystified by that of which is misunderstood may be one of life’s most-precious offerings. our pursuits in creativity reward us with a key which unlocks subliminal facets within our psyche, only to be comprehended at a later point in time. these lay the foundations at our primal core, and, as a divine mission which one chooses to either ignore or commence upon, choosing the latter inevitably trails the path toward self-actualization. a probable reason why we exist—without the ability to reference some comprehensive manual—is to polarize us toward what we will produce as an earth-bound monolith to perpetually inspire future generations of those impassioned by the very same mystical essence that once lay dormant within ourselves.

As of January 2024, there are more than 8 billion humans alive.

you uniquely represent 1 amongst eight billion.

radiate your inner light for those blind to the dark.

[the-morningstar-family]

Hey Luci, have you already put Belphegor on Willa's case? I mean even if you can't heal her, Sloth is big. Get yourself in 'Big Boss of Hell' mode, get down there and find the best they have to offer for Willa's condition.

Also, maybe ask Ozzie if he can help? He built those robotic arms for his partner, didn't he? I don't know maybe you can transfer Willa's consciousness in a robotic body? Or at least turn her into a cyborg in order to make her life easier? Grasping for straws here but com'on! You're Lucifer, the Devil, you have all of hell at your beck and call and you're telling me no one in the seven rings or the void in between (Goetia) can do anything for her?

Or are maybe the options she got limited because hellhounds are considered the lowest class of hell and no one cares?

Cuz, my boy, you can make them care.

Go!

Lucifer, on the phone: "Can't you do anything?!"

Bel: "Sorry Lu. The most I can try to do is slowing it down. There's no cure for it, neither on earth nor here..."

Lucifer: "... Ozzie?"

Ozzie: "I can try and help with mobility aids... But the problem is that her nerves are dying in her brain as well. If there's no signal..."

Lucifer: "There'll be no movement... Fuck... But- I looked it up- there are some who lived long with it, right?"

Bel: "...."

Lucifer: "Bel?"

Bel: "Willa has a more... Aggressive onset. Even with medicine she's already having trouble breathing-"

Lucifer: "Ozzie come on, back me up here."

But there is only silence, giving the king an answer anyway. Lucifer looks over to Alastor who's listening in.

Ozzie: "Luci, I'm so sorry. I'd take it away if I could, for that sweet little pup alone. But I can only help so much."

Bel: "We're going to look into to it. And we'll make sure she'll get the best care we can give her. But I just don't want to give you any false hopes."

The angel deflates, finally falling onto the bed after restless pacing.

Lucifer: "I- I know, I didn't mean to... Thanks for the help"

Ozzie: "It's the least we can do... We'll let you know if we've got anything"

With that the phonecall ends. He and Alastor sit in silence for a bit, until Lucifer suddenly growls in frustration and throws the phone across the room.

Alastor: "Lucifer..."

Lucifer: "Sorry..."

The deer sighs, equally sad. He burries his head into the king's shoulder.

A small creek on the floorboards makes both heads snap to the the side.

Nova: "Sorry..."

Alastor: "It's alright darling, what's wrong?"

Nova: "Felix is all mad"

Lucifer, worried: "Oh? Why's that?Nova: "He says Willa wants to leave him"

Oh... Felix must've misunderstood...

Alastor: "Nova, my dove, I think we have something to explain to you"

She looks at the two of them with suspicion.

Nova:"Something is wrong"

Lucifer: "You could say that..."

Alastor takes a brush and starts brushing her hair.

Alastor: "Willa is really really sick. Her musclesnand body are getting weaker, and sadly there's nothing we can do against it..."

It reminds him a bit to much of his own mother, who also got weaker and weaker until she could hardly sit up anymore. It was a completely different sickness, bu still, it makes the deer sicker to his stomach then the morning sickness.

Lucifer, sadly: "It means she'll die eventually. That means she'll stop living. She can't walk or talk anymore, and won't ever wake up"

Nova: "That's a long time"

Alastor: "It is, darling"

Nova: "Will Felix go too?"

The demon shakes his head as if even the thought of it pains him.

Alastor: "No dove. He'll stay with us"

Nova: "Is that why Felix is so angry?"

Lucifer: "Probably, sweety. This is a hard thing to process, especially for him."

Alastor: "How are you feeling?"

The little girl shrugs. Not really sure, Alastor just pulls her close.

[not-poignant]

Im really sorry if this is too personal please ignore me if it is but i saw your post just at the right time and im just, im struggling in my twenties at the thought of possibly having did right now. And you say you "used to", can i ask how you healed?

A lot of therapy, anon.

It does tend to show up in someone's 20s, and I went the path of Internal Family Systems Therapy (also known as IFS or IFST) which is extremely useful alongside the three C's (Compassion, Communication, Co-Consciousness).

I wasn't aiming to eliminate any alters, and anyone who wanted to stay as a separate alter could, but I taught myself through the help of other/s to be self-compassionate, to open up opportunities and methods for communication (which also included art, writing, journalling, etc. in fact the very first tumblr that 'I' ever made was actually made by an alter, and was originally called artforartists - it's now renamed and run by 'me' because Dani has absorbed back into the system, but you can still go to the earliest entries and see her in them.

It took a few years and I didn't rush things. The main thing to know is that while it feels extreme, it usually comes about as a reasonable response to an unreasonable situation, and it usually becomes very manageable with self-compassion (to all yourselves), impartial judgement, open communication, compromise (i.e. if you have an alter that wants to play video games 24/7 to the point that you're losing weeks of memory, find out small areas of compromise where they can be given something in exchange for something), and sharing consciousness where possible (co-consciousness).

It's very scary at first but imho for me personally, it has been the 'easiest' of all of my diagnosed disorders to deal with. I still have severe treatment-resistant depression and I still have severe treatment-resistant PTSD/C-PTSD, but my DID went into remission after about 4 targeted years of therapy. It's now DDNOS (Dissociative Disorder Not Otherwise Specified) which means I don't have the symptoms enough to qualify for DID anymore, but I still have a system prone to dissociation / derealisation / depersonalisation and I have days where some alters are fronting a bit more than the central self, but I usually just use it as a sign that I'm really stressed and overwhelmed, rather than a sign that there's something wrong with me.

I'm extremely zen about it, tbh. And look, I didn't have the goal of 'absorbing' my alters (or them dying or w/e), I didn't set out with the idea of getting rid of it so much as learning how to live with different people who have different opinions about things in my head. But through the course of IFST and giving everyone a voice, that started to happen anyway. Healing doesn't always mean 'getting rid of alters' it mostly just means getting a handle on the memory loss (which is the most severe part of the disorder for me) and the polarisation so that it becomes regular dissonance and not so distressing it causes someone to switch. A person can be fully healed from DID and still have alters that front, if there's co-consciousness and communication for example. This was actually what I was aiming for, it just didn't end up being my outcome.

You may not be able to access therapy or IFST, and it can be hard to find DID-friendly therapists who know what they're doing, but you can actually look up and explore IFST on places like Instagram and in books like No Bad Parts and start doing the work gently already. (IFST isn't just or only for DID patients, but it is uniquely very well suited to them).

It can be very scary at first, anon, to think you might have this. Because it's a highly stigmatised and misunderstood disorder. At its root it can be understood as 'a child who didn't understand how to cope with something, at the time of personality formation, just developed a new personality to deal with it. But as a result of this, their brain got so good at developing new personalities that it became a maladapted coping strategy, and as an adult they can learn ways to cope that aren't splitting, switching, or losing memory with compassion and self-understanding.'

And honestly we all have a lot of maladapted coping mechanisms and the whole journey of life is learning to unpack them, and repack some healthier coping mechanisms into the lunchbox. And that's really about it. Still very scary and upsetting to go through, but also not a mysterious, "insane" thing. <3333 If you can reach out for help, please consider it, but otherwise do look into IFST. I started working on those strategies long before I found a suitable therapist and I honestly feel like just the mindset of radical self-acceptance and self-compromise and self-compassion was - while extremely hard to do often - the key for me, and some of those things will at the very least be helpful for you.