#more like kids literally cannot and will not exist in her mental conception until she has achieved her chef goals and owns property

[corvidclub]

Ok so ik that fanfiction often requires characters to act ooc but I've seen multiple (tbf like 3) accidental pregnancy fics in the bear tag....and I just want to have my own 'he wouldn't fucking say that moment' and say that there is not a single universe in which Sydney Adamu would ever carry an unwanted pregnancy to term. If the concept of abortion didn't exist my girl would invent it to not have to do that shit lol.

[codenamesazanka]

Extremely embarrassed it took me until just now to understand the

But if I pretended to be a high school girl, the public became just a bit nicer to me.

And I was like, okay. Good to know. So that's why she wears a high school uniform.

But I didn't think about the hows and why, I didn't think about what this meant in context of HeroAca Society, in relation to her overall character, the bigger picture. Toga Himiko is 17 years old, she's high-school-aged, and that's where I stopped looking deeper.

Toga looks like a high-schooler, but she isn't one. Can't be one if you're out of school.

Being out of school means not studying for exams or doing club activities or thinking about her future. She doesn't even have a home to go back to at night, sleep, wake up in the morning for a new day of learning. She's wildly deviated from the normal path she's supposed to be on, the rigid process of growing up in modern times: elementary school, middle school, high school, college, job, etc. Following that path is the unspoken rule that must be followed to be accepted as a functional person, a civilian worthy of participating in life.

But those are all things Toga cannot access anymore. Even if she does the right thing and turned herself in, it's prison or a mental institution that's waiting for her. If she gets released, there's gonna be a record that follows her for the rest of her life. That will not help her get accepted back into society at a socioeconomic level; and anyways, she's never been accepted as a full person with her quirk.

Shigaraki Tomura says, several chapters after this one, "Since when did we ever need a future?" Very edgy and him, but he speaks a truth of everyone the League: none of them can really imagine having a normal future because it doesn't exist for them. They already didn't have a normal past, so this is just following the distorted trajectory, which isn't going to be knocked back on track, because Heroes don't save Villains. Heroes don't intervene with help.

As far as Toga knows (believes), more than that, Heroes might just end up killing her.

Using the literal meaning of the concept 'girl attending high school', Toga Himiko is not a actually high school girl. She's a dropout with only a middle-school education; she's a homeless street kid, she's a criminal. No one's going to look at her and see someone in need of compassionate help. That sounds cynical, but in HeroAca, where people accepted the neglect of an abnormal-looking, injured five-year-old wandering the streets, there was never going to be any hope for an older, [no-more-perception-of-having-small-child-innocence] teenager.

I think this is probably what she notices about the behavior of the people around her. Quickly learning that if she looks like what she actually is - a delinquent street kid, and all the implications that carries, the failure people will judge her to become - people will at best ignore her as if she doesn't exist, shooing her away from public spaces and thus access to stores, access to necessities; and at worst people will get suspicious and see her as trouble. Even worse trouble once they realize who she is.

This is why Toga Himiko pretends. She got herself a uniform, she got a satchel. Her appearance is neat and clean and cute. She looks and acts like a high school girl, and as a result, people are nicer to her because they see her as proper, correct, future-citizen. They trust her to be on the right track, like she's supposed to be; trust her to be normal, just as she's been told before.

Even then, Toga says things only got a *bit* nicer. Here's only guess as to why, but it's probably because this pretending comes with its own different set of problems. One example: Anyone ever tried to play hooky successfully before? Harder than just 'not be in school'. Without a home or established place to hide in, you gotta be outside, visible as an out-of-place kid, avoiding police, avoiding adults asking why you're not in class, you shouldn't skip, let's call your parents, let's call your school. Then keep yourself busy, because boredom can settle in quick. In Toga's case, that's something she had do for six or so hours everyday; constantly on the move too, keeping ahead of Heroes, avoid ever getting caught.

With Jin, we saw him as teenager that was out of school as well; but he had a job that gave him a work jumpsuit; after he was fired, he dressed in regular clothes, shirt and jeans and coat and sneakers. He looked homeless, and I saw him as such, able to connect that more easily and quickly to the idea he had it hard.

With Toga and her uniform, I didn't draw the line as fast, I knew her circumstances vaguely, intellectually-- but overall I looked at the surface and saw the image of a pretty well put-together high school aged girl - just like it was meant to show.

[imonthinice]

The Criminal Psychology Majors, Jason Todd x Fem!Reader Part 8/?

Word Count: 1.6k

Author’s Note: Y/N - Your Name, A/N - Any Name (Your Best Friend’s Name)

This one is shorter because of the last one’s length.

Hi everyone! By the time you see this, I will probably be out and therefore cannot update the other parts with this one’s link, so don’t worry about that if you notice it.

Warnings: Swearing, Mentions of Jason’s Trauma and his Death, Lightning, no beta bitch we die like Jason Todd

(Part 1) (Part 2) (Part 3) (Part 4) (Part 5) (Part 6) (Part 7) (Part 8) (Part 9)  (Part 10) (Part 11) (Part 12) (Part 13) (Part 14) (Part 15) (Part 16) (Part 17) (Part 18) (Part 19) (Part 20)

Going on day 5 of knowing each other, Jason and Y/N would spend the day apart. Why? Because they gave each other the chance to have family time, Jason got it by playing around with his baby siblings, playing Assassin.

Fluff Head canon came from frownyalfred on Tumblr, who wrote about Jason playing Assassin with his brothers 

He would go running through the halls playing the game that he and Dick knew all too well, it had been the only ‘no contact’ game they were allowed to play at a summer camp Bruce had sent them to all those years ago when they weren’t adults with a bunch of other siblings, and girlfriends. But here they were, explaining the game to their younger siblings while Alfred and Bruce hung out with Barbara, who wished she could play, but was paralyzed.

Everyone missed playing games with her like they used to, but with the video game consoles in the house they did transfer a lot of their gaming to online so they could relive memories with Barbs. It was bittersweet, and everyone remembered when she became paralyzed like it was yesterday, but she always wanted them to play games like they used to, with or without her. 

Jason admired his, hopefully, one day older sister for how she treated her disability, like it was a gift, not something that impacted her everyday life and made her have to hang up the cloak of Batgirl.

But running around chasing after Dick, because of course, he got Dick, the universe wanted them to play again, was something he missed so much. They hadn’t had so much of this time, family time, ever since they all became vigilantes, and they never realized how much they missed the thrill of running around with each other.

Jason ended up getting Dick and throwing him out of the game, calling it a ‘selfless act of brotherhood so you can hang out with your girl’ and they both laughed at it. Titus, Damien’s dog, ended up barking up a storm at Jason when he killed Dick, like the big dog was rooting for Dick to win the tournament.

“Down boy! It’s a game!” Jason would whisper-yell at his dog.

“Yeah! Good boy, Titus! Get him!”

“No!” Jason would yell while running throughout the house, Titus on his heels. Passing by Alfred, Bruce and Barbara, where Titus would stop and go lay at Bruce’s feet, but Jason didn’t know that.

Jason would end up coming in just 10 minutes later, with a green slash on his neck. Tim, who had pulled Cass but killed her, Cass, who had pulled Jason. Tim now had two kills in the game and both were to people who could have easily overpowered him. 

“Jase! Welcome to the land of the dead,” Dick greeted him.

“God dammnit I’ve already been here,” Jason whined in a joke.

“You and your ‘I died pity me’  jokes,” Barbara said.

“It’s called a coping mechanism, Barbs. And hi dad, Alfred,” Jason said as he waved slightly at both of them, Alfred waved back and Bruce nodded at him.

“You could just to go therapy, Jase,” Barbara said, seeming concerned for someone who she considered her baby brother. She remember when he came into the Manor, she was older than him, sure . But he had nightmares and she and Dick would switch between who would sleep at his door at night, they both had terrible backs until the nightmares calmed down. Jason never knew they did this.

It also happened when he was resurrected, but the nightmares were worse and he’d wake all sweaty and upset. There were too many nights where batkids would be in Jason’s bed with him from 12am to when Alfred would greet them in the morning. The nightmares had slowed down a lot in the past few years with the introduction of his Goddaughter into his life, but they still came by to remind him of what happened.

He didn’t talk about it much. They would always try to edge him on about about really happened, but he was stubborn. It made sense, sure, trauma is trauma. But they all wanted to help him get better. It hurt them all that he was hurting and they didn’t know how to help him get through it.

--------------------------------------------------

Y/N would sit on her bed that morning and finally finished organizing her criminal psychology and regular psychology notes when she came across her printed copy of Dr. Barry Allen’s dissertation she had studied so hard. She found it so weird that she was so close to someone who she looked up to in the field while also being so far in the same breath.

She didn't dote on it for long, she stocked it away with her forensics notes in their place. This, the relationship she had with Jason that intertwined her with so many people, was something she was getting used to by the minute, but it was never something she’d get fully used to as time goes on.

She would put on a JCS - Criminal Psychology video in the background as she worked and tried to make her journal look nicer when Jason texted her,

Good morning. He said.

Good morning :)  She said back.

I just lost a game against a 16 year old.

Huh?

My brothers and 2 of my sisters were playing Assassins with me right? Well my 16 year old brother, Tim, he ended up getting the better of me and beat me. 

Oh! So you suck!

What!? No, I’m literally so cool what do you mean? He said, it clearly had sarcasm undertones to it, so Y/N wasn’t worried if she offended him with saying he sucked.

Oh yeah? Then why’d you lose?

Well, I killed Dick.

Okay so you didn’t lose, Dick lost.

It started raining a little bit, the sounds of it hitting lightly against her window, and she felt at peace. It was never hard for her to feel peace when she was by herself. She only had one roommate because she liked the silence, to be alone to collect her own thoughts in her head.

Her parents said it was because she probably had underlying mental illness that they never had the money to diagnose. She agreed. But she still didn’t have the chance to do it.

Jason and her deserved so much more than what the world have given them up to this point, so when they found each other it was, in a way, the universe saying ‘I’m sorry, you deserve this’ and with each passing day it made the pain they had both felt in their lives just a little bit more tolerable.

No, I guess Dick sucks at the game more than me.

Where’d you even get the concept for that game?

Dick and I used to play it at a Summer Camp before we got kicked out.

For playing the game?

No, for being unruly children.

You seem like you were a handful back in the day.

I was, I was the worst kid to raise, my dad has a shirt that says ‘Proud parent of a kid who is sometimes an asshole but that’s OK’ and he wears it all the time.

What a dad moment. Don’t tell my father that shirt exists, he’ll get one for my mum and himself to represent my sister and I.

Were you an unruly child as well?

I was a troublemaker. Getting into arguments with my authoritative figures about dress codes, rules, why girls couldn’t carry chairs, literally anything that was unequal, I was at their throats about it.

I mean, as you should. My older sister, Barbara, and my younger sisters, Stephanie and Cassie, they would like that about you.

I feel like in someway I’ve won over every part of your family.

The rain would get more violent as time went on. Strikes and hits of lightning would strike all around the city, hitting those gargoyles on every building, she always figured they were decorative, but A/N explained that their horns were made out of copper so people wouldn’t get struck by lightning. Bruce Wayne actually made that a thing, A/N said.

Y/N got a message from the dance competition that she signed up to, turns out, California was hit with a hurricane and most people evacuated. No one was allowed in or out. She guessed weather was being funky everywhere. It sucked, but she already was wishing she could spend time at home instead of out in the world.

A feeling she hated.

She would spend the rest of the day on and off the phone with Jason while it stormed. She would go to bed early that night.

-------------------------------------------------

Jason slipped on his vigilante uniform, the Red Hood was going to be on patrol over this night, stormy or not, it was his duty and he knew that. Did he want to go? Yes. He was killing for some action and he was going with Dick. They would probably have some ‘Bro Time’ which Jason wanted. 

Even if it was silence, having Dick nearby him meant enough and gave him peace of mind.

He grabbed his guns and loaded them while packing a few extra magazines in his belt, when Dick placed a hand on his shoulder, “You have to be careful tonight, Jase,” Dick said as he gulped down tears, “Just come back to me alive if you break off from me, okay?”

“Alive but bruised,” Jason joked.

“I’m serious. I can’t lose you again and tonight is going to be massively dangerous.”

“You won’t.”

[fatesdeepdive]

Entry 9: NO

Before doing anything else, I built a lottery house in the castle. The logistics of there being stores and gambling houses within my personal castle, that my soldiers work at, that don’t just give me whatever I want is kinda weird. The lottery gave me a radish I fed to Lilith.

Support: Hana/Subaki

C: Hana confronts Subaki about his tendency to refer to himself as perfect. He brushes it off, because he thinks that he genuinely is completely without fault. This angers Hana, who brings up a time Subaki fell off his horse and challenges him to a duel.

B: The duo begin their competition. Subaki, despite not actually having any sword skills, manages to defeat Hana by studying her fighting style over several months and messing with her head.

A: Hana takes the second round, beating Subaki in a horse race. Hana reveals that she doesn’t actually care about beating Subaki, just about serving Sakura, and the two decide to suspend their competition.

S: Subaki states that he hates when Hana brings up the time he fell off his horse because he embarrassed himself in front of Hana. Also the duo apparently love each other now.

Review: Decent set up, lackluster execution. I do like Hana’s feelings of inferiority in comparison to Subaki, and Subaki is wonderfully arrogant during this line, but the resolution comes from a revelation Hana had off screen and feels anti-climactic. I felt nothing during the marriage conversation.

Support: Hana/Sakura

C: Hana and Sakura discuss their childhood friendship and the fact that Hana has been protecting Sakura since even before she was a retainer. Sakura states that Hana’s stubbornness pairs nicely with her own introversion.

B: Hana reveals that Sakura’s kindness gave her a reason to dedicate herself to becoming a master samurai. Sakura reveals that she chose Hana as her retainer, in spite of her age and objections from others, because of...a reason explained in the next conversation. Gotta love cliffhangers.

A: Sakura chose Hana as her retainer because of all the times she protected her as a kid, so many times that Hana is covered in scars. Sakura feels guilty over Hana’s scars, but Hana brushes it off, stating that her scars are a badge of honor because they were earned protecting Sakura. Small character design note: Hana does not have any visible scars in this game. She does consistently have a scar in her arm in Heroes, and inconsistently has a scar on her left thigh, but neither of those scars are visible in game. Maybe the scars are hidden below her headband?

Review: First off, these two deserve an S-Rank conversation. They have more chemistry than most of the couples in this game. Setting that aside, I enjoy Hana and Sakura inspiring each other to be better. I love the idea of Hana protecting Sakura from feral dogs and Sakura repaying her by making her a retainer, going against royal officials to do so.

Support: Sakura/Subaki

C: Subaki yawns in front of Sakura then pretends it didn’t happen, because he is too perfect to get fatigued.

B: Subaki makes a tiny slip-up when filling out a form and has a complete meltdown, launching into a self-depreciating rant. Hana brings up that she’s seen him make mistakes before, which only makes things worse.

A: Sakura comforts Subaki and he reveals that his obsession with perfection stems from his childhood; his parents hammered in the idea that he must be perfect at all times as to not embarrass himself in front of royalty. He brings up the time he fell off his horse in front of Sakura right before she chose him as a retainer and reveals that he’s thought for years she chose him out of pity. Sakura comforts him, saying that he’s amazing and his slip-ups only make him more charming.

S: Subaki renews his vows as a retainer, promising to always fight for Sakura even if he cannot achieve total perfection. Sakura accepts, on the condition that Subaki marries her.

Review: I actually really enjoyed this one. The main gag with Subaki is that he’s arrogant and thinks of himself as perfect. This line deconstructs that, showing him fall apart at the idea that he isn’t good enough. It didn’t go fully into it, but this line suggests that Subaki may have some real mental health issues, possibly stemming from an abusive childhood. The romance isn’t perfect, but I do like the idea of Subaki ending up with Sakura because she helps him learn to accept himself. Also for all of Sakura’s supports I’m going to pretend that she isn’t like fourteen, because otherwise they’re all super creepy.

Support: Corrin/Sakura

C: Corrin asks if Sakura dislikes her and Sakura, who has never once visited any Fire Emblem or Smash Brothers forum, states that no one could ever dislike Corrin. Apparently, Sakura is awkward and shy around Corrin because she sucks at talking to people. Corrin offers to help her practice talking.

B: Corrin asks Sakura some basic questions and Sakura freezes up from anxiety and can’t answer anyone. Corrin theorizes that Sakura is easily intimidated by other people.

A: Sakura reveals that she’s always so anxious because she heard a rumor that Nohr actually wanted to kidnap her, not Nohr. This rumor was evidently false, because it makes absolutely no sense from a lore perspective. Also, I question the idea that this is the source of all of Sakura’s anxiety. Her anxiety around Corrin, maybe, but it’s odd that guilt over her sister’s kidnapping that she’s known for years wasn’t her fault would make her anxious around other people. I mean, it’s more pronounced around Corrin, but only in this support line. Whatever. Corrin swears to protect Sakura and I guess that means her anxiety is cured.

Review: This conversation is mediocre. Sakura getting anxiety because of something a maid said once is stupid, but Corrin trying to help her get over it is okay.

You’ll notice that I stopped this at the A rank. Well, you see, Corrin and Sakura only have three, conversations instead of four because, despite Corrin having a variable gender, Corrin and Sakura are siblings and Intelligent Systems would never include incest in a Fire Emblem game. They’d never do that because that would be terrible.

Wait. What’s that? Why does it say on the wiki that they have an S-Conversation? Surely this isn’t real.

Oh god it’s real.

No.

No no no.

NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO.

What the fuck, Intelligent Systems? Why did you include incestuous pedophilic marriage in your role-playing game? Seriously, what the actual fuck?

And, looking at Corrin’s support list, it’s not just Sakura. Every single Nohr and Hoshidan royal can date Corrin. I don’t know what’s worse, Corrin having sex with her stranger blood siblings or having sex with the people she thought were her blood siblings for years. Fine. Let’s just do the stupid conversation.

S: Sakura reveals that she’s been dreaming about the sibling she never knew for years, imagining what Corrin would grow up to be like. It’s actually a decent idea, albeit one hidden in the evil cursed S-Support that I hate. Corrin asks if they live up to expectations and Sakura states that they exceed them. Then Sakura says that she loves Corrin. Romantically. Corrin, being the sane person, objects, pointing out that they’re half-siblings. I don’t know where this half-sibling thing came from, as far as Corrin knows both of them are the children of Mikoto and Sumeragi. I mean, it is stated in Revelations that Mikoto isn’t actually the mother of anyone but Corrin, but Corrin doesn’t know that yet. Whatever. Sakura pulls out a letter from Mikoto that she only read a few minutes ago that says, psych! Corrin and Sakura aren’t actually related. At all. So it’s cool to bang. Corrin instantly gets over the whole “Don’t fuck your little sister” thing immediately and proposes to Sakura. What the actual fuck.

Review Continued: If ninety percent of the S-Rank conversation is convincing the audience that, no, this isn’t incest, you know it’s bad. And sure, it isn’t technically incest anymore, but who cares? Corrin and Sakura didn’t know that until ten seconds before they screwed each other. This is an incestuous marriage and it’s fucking gross. The writers clearly know it was gross, but they included it anyway.

And here’s the big problem with the Hoshidan sibling marriages: Birthright is built on the premise that this is Corrin’s real family, that Hoshido is her real home. It’s literally called Birthright. But if Corrin isn’t actually related to the Hoshidan Royals, all of that falls apart. They’re just strangers. The whole concept of the game doesn’t apply anymore. Because Intelligent Systems couldn’t release a game where the player insert doesn’t fuck literally every character. And, until we get to the point in Revelations where that is properly revealed, I’m going to pretend I don’t know it.

We got some new characters at the end of the last chapter, so let’s talk about them.

Silas

Silas is a cavalier who went turncloak for Corrin at the end of the last chapter because of a childhood friendship Corrin doesn’t remember. His personal skill makes him fight better when Corrin is injured. I’m starting to notice just how many of these skills specifically relate to Corrin, which makes sense but is still kinda weird. His design is fine, nothing objectionable there. I do think Silas’s forgotten childhood friend backstory is a bit odd, though. And I’m getting sick of characters who are obsessed with Corrin.

Saizo

Saizo is Kaze’s twin brother who looks like twenty years older than him. He’s the slower but tougher of the duo, judging from their stats. His personal skill Pyrotechnics is basically just him blowing shit up, which as far as I’m concerned is his solution to all problems. His mask is really weird looking, but at least he’s visually interesting. Personality wise, he seems like a dick, but in a good way. Our army needs some common sense and he brings it.

Orochi

Real talk: I forgot this character existed until she joined us. Orochi is a mage...er, diviner who has the personal skill Capture, which I’ll talk about later. Her design is decent; I like the sultry hair pulling in her portrait, it gives off a lot of personality. I don’t have much to say, I forgot she existed before the end of last chapter and have no clue what her personality will be.

Birthright Chapter 8: Fierce Winds

Team Corrin travels up the Eternal Staircase, a massive subterranean tunnel that leads to the Wind Tribe Village. Kaze notices that the group is being followed and a group of faceless pop out. Kaze and Corrin slaughter them with ease. Unfortunately, after the battle, the faceless turn into Wind Tribe civilians. Iago appears and explains that he disguised civilians as monsters using magic. He learned it from his favorite movie villain, the Joker from the Dark Knight, who Iago thinks is actually the good guy.

The gang reaches the Wind Tribe village. Corrin decides to just waltz in because sneaking past would be suspicious. Wind Tribe members attack. Not sure how they know about the whole slaughter thing. Maybe one of the fake faceless got away? Whatever.

Our three princesses apologize to the tribe members and they lead us to their chief, Fuga. Then the battle immediately begins. Guess negotiations didn’t go well.

Also here for some reason is Hinoka and her two retainers, Setsuna and Azama, both of whom are absolute morons. But, like, in a good way. Setsuna falls in quicksand, doesn’t care, and Azama immediately declares her dead. The fact that Hinoka has to basically babysit her two idiot bodyguards is amusing.

Setsuna

An Archer that works as Hinoka’s bodyguard. Her personal skill, Optimistic, makes her recover more when healed by a staff. A thing they do a lot in recent Fire Emblem games is to have characters that are based around specific gags or tropes. These are hit or miss, but Setsuna’s gag of constantly endangering herself and just not giving a shit sounds funny. The faced half-covered by hair initially makes her seem cool, but when paired with the dopey face and her personality it makes her look completely distracted. I like Setsuna, from what I’ve seen.

Azama

A monk who seems to be ridiculously optimistic and laid back. His personal skill, Divine Retribution, hurts opponents who attack him when he’s unarmed, which is a really cool idea. Azama doesn’t seem to be quite as funny as Setsuna, but still seems entertaining. I have mixed feelings on his design. I can’t tell if I like the closed eyes or not. The puffballs and wild hair are dumb though.

It’s worth noting that, because we move first, Corrin’s army attacks without provocation. Remember, they can’t see the red labels on enemies.

This map takes place in a desert. We can use the Dragon Veins to make it not a desert, which is good, because Fire Emblem deserts suck. Halfway through the battle, we finally talk to Fuga. He explains that we must earn the right to explain by killing all of his men. Bit of a dick move, chief.

We beat Fuga fairly easily. This chapter was fine, but just fine. Not bad, just unremarkable. Fuga explains that he was friends with Sumeragi and knows a lot about Yato. Apparently, us killing all of his men was a test to make us stronger so we can unlock Yato’s true power. Apparently, Yato can link something called the Sealed Flames and destroy the world. Neat.

Fuga accepts our explanation of the civilian murders. Which makes sense, it was kinda dumb. Actually, wait. Why did that have to be a plot point? Couldn’t this chapter just have been Fuga testing us?

Before we leave, Corrin and Azura discuss that there may be more blades like Yato out there. They don’t ask Fuga, because reasons. Also Fuga gives us his son. Neat.

[mylittlegemlins]

STEVINEL IS NOT PEDOPHILE (AND IS BAD SAY IT)

Hello everyone 💖

Index:

introduction

inspiration

-pedophilia

- biological age

- mental age

- age of gems

-case spinel

-conclusion.

Today I finally got the inspiration from multiple publications stating that stevinel is in fact a pedophile ship and therefore we should not support it. Since I am a multishiper and I am very much in love with spinel I could not miss the opportunity to defend this ship to cloak and dagger.

Many of these comments I saw in the English fandom and the truth is that the debate did not seem to go anywhere like:

-is a pedophile ship one has 6000 and 17

-the gems are ageless.

[And I didn't really see that they would get anywhere, especially with a lot of immature people insulting most of the time and let's admit that comments from networks like Instagram or Twitter are not the best place to debate

Let's start by getting some concepts straight: Pedophilia :

Sexual attraction of an adult to a child of either sex. (google dictionary) This means that there must be a crush on a person who is (usually) considered an adult at 18 years of age or older and a minor who can be a baby from 5 years old to a puberty of about 14 years old, and between an adult + 20 years old and a teenager - 18 years old. Pedophilia does not occur among people who are at the same stage of life. Like two teenagers or two adults even if their ages seem far apart, see the case of two adults whose age difference is between 30 and 50 years.

Biological age

Biological age is marked by the number of years since your birth that your body and mind develop and change. We human beings have clear concepts of life stages, we know when childhood, adolescence, adulthood and old age begin. There are even approximate ages where one has to consider oneself an adult. Like 18 or 21 years old.

And a number of behaviors are expected depending on your age, for example if you've had a brother or a cousin and you've seen it since you were a baby you may have seen one of these little brochures of what a healthy child should do depending on his age. Mental age Mental age is measured by a person's intellect and knowledge, which may or may not coincide with biological age.

Since biological age is expected to coincide with mental age and healthy development is usually measured only by the time a person has lived. Now, how does this work for gems? According to the concepts of the series a gem is literally a stone with a physical form of light, like a hologram with mass, these share many characteristics of humans such as being able to think, feel emotions and imitate some actions that naturally do not need to do like eating and sleeping. In humans it is very easy to measure age only by the amount of time since birth, because they change, and as the pink diamond itself showed. Gems can change but they don't need to.

The gems society is characterized by having a defined and static role and if you don't comply with it you are dead. Let's start with the mental age: In the diamond society everything worked in a very simple way, if you were born and you had to be a mechanic, you will be one for the rest of your life, since you are born with the necessary knowledge to fulfill this role. You don't need to learn new things unless it is about mechanics since you will not dedicate yourself to anything else, you don't need to alter your physical form since you are not allowed to, you don't need to change since you must fulfill your work and nothing else.

Your mental age remains completely stagnant because it does not have the need to mature just to fulfill your work, the gems are born with the ability to speak, communicate and interpret ideas, as is the case of Ruby Leggy, who was born one day when he left for his first mission.

Biological age :

The same Pearl confirmed that the gems cannot be babies, nor to age, reason why the babys and the old age do not exist for the gems. To the being its body only a projection of light the form that can acquire is very varied and changes of radical way in some occasions, although the form that represents an adult woman, this form changes radically depending on the class of gems, lapis lazuli and pearl have a body formed of a young woman, the quartz gems have a much more muscular and robust body that is made much to a physical-culturalist man.

The clearest example of a male gem is Topaz, since anyone would think he was a man until the moment they heard his voice, and even though the rutile twins use the female pronouns have a masculine appearance.

Gems like Fluorite are represented as a much older woman, even though their components may all be young.

She speaks very slowly due to the amount of gems that have to process the information within her mind.

And gems like Padparadcha have a much younger and smaller appearance, like some girls, compared to Sapphire because of her behavior Not to mention gems that are literally rocks and walls that are impossible to classify. All of these exaggeratedly different shapes make people interpret gems with different ages based on their behavior and appearance.

amethyst is the example of a growing gem, perhaps the fact that it is defective has a lot to do with it, she crawls in her first seconds of life during the film and imitates everyone like an infant trying to form her personality from others, she had a much sweeter and smaller appearance in Greg and Rose's flashbacks, being carried by Perla and hiding behind Rose's lack, Rebecca confirms on a podcast that Rose was like a mother to amethyst, if the gems were adults without exception, why would an adult need a mother figure of another adult?

Her outfit accompanies her as she has comfortable clothes and a skirt, she behaves like a teenage big sister figure for Steven during the series by accompanying him, at the same time that he allows himself to mock and fight with him, having that love / hate relationship that many people with brothers can understand and as an adult when reaching the future.

Peridot is represented in a very childish way too, the people who ship stevidot did it because they saw a kid, suddenly she was the same size as Steven, she behaved childishly and Mr. Smile called her kid, so far it was only confirmed that It was from era 2, so it could be both 5000 and 5 years old.

Probably the gems need to get along as a team, if they have to coexist with many other gems, but in theory this does not go beyond a coexistence or friendship of work colleagues since dependence or romance leads to sentimentality, which for the mother planet is useless and even harmful. In short, from birth all their social and intellectual development is truncated and they cannot mature So for most gems on homeworld their mental age is almost the same from birth to destruction.

This was demonstrated with Peridot and lapis in the episode "The New Crystal Gems" Both are gems from the mother planet, one knew how to terraform planets and the other had extensive knowledge of engineering, however they fought over who was to blame for their failure using insults like "foolish" and comparing themselves with other people, a very childish behaviour. So much so that a human thousands of years younger had to correct them. Within the series we were unable to confirm if peridot and lapis had a team to socialize with. So it is likely that throughout their lives they have not had the need to socialize and live together, or even accept their mistakes. Peridot seemed like a child prodigy with so many scenes of childish behavior and her high knowledge of what she was assigned, while other gems like pink diamond were born as immature children and it took her millennia to reach maturity.

With the case of spinel it is completely different. In her introduction stanza she says "her cut is perfect and she is pink too, she will give you endless entertainment, your new spinel best friend" that and together with what later says pearl "she was the little pink diamond playmate". It gives us an idea of what spinel used to look like.

It even strikes me that pearl refers to her as "little playmate" giving the impression that some gems are considered bigger than others based on their rank/trade or size.

First, let's remember that Spinel is literally based on a cuddly toy that Rebecca loved but forgot in a garden and when she returned after a year her belly was black from the fading sun, the doll was in the same place but had already been permanently damaged. Rebecca wanted her character to feel old as "stuck in time" that's why she uses Ruben Hose style animation from the 30's and later in future she uses references to 90's video games to give the feeling that she grew up since she left the earth but she still keeps an old and animated essence.

Spinel is a gem that was born perfectly fine and flawless, besides being literally a living cartoon like a lonnytoon, was created only with knowledge of gameplay and fun to eternally entertain its owner, and that was all she cared about, making her best friend happy .

She was practically a child, all she cared about was playing and being happy with her best friend, something that a neuro-typical adult would not do. She spends most of the movie without leaving Steven's side, even when she sees that he is depressed she can't think of a way to comfort him and just tries to make him laugh, instead of asking him about the problem and trying to provide him with a solution. I can't help but think that she was playing the whole time, from her fight in her evil form and the time she was in her friendly form with the rest of the gems, since almost every battle consists of dodging the attacks as if she were playing tag, and using the gems as dolls or balls. He even says he doesn't want to play anymore when he's done with Steven 💔

And after being stuck in the garden doing nothing but waiting without moving, the phrase "stuck in time" becomes more literal since by doing absolutely nothing but thinking there is no change or maturity. It is not until after the trauma that she goes into a fit of thinking she has changed for the worse, but she was not thinking reasonably at that time. Her best friend left her and she wanted to kill a whole planet. What was she going to do after she succeeded? How would she get back to the mother planet where we had killed a new diamond?

After the film she goes on with her life with the diamonds, the series did not deepen much in her development so she seems to be better, even after her scars manifested in tears and dark circles she still maintains an energetic personality, excited and wanting to help even if it is with a stupid song. Spinel is certainly not close to looking like a mature adult for her 6000 years of age, like many other gems.

As for her physical form I am not 100% sure what age she is approaching as the designs of the gems are very varied and extravagant. She has an adorable and childish design, like a cuddly toy, her height is in fact almost the same as Steven's (17 years old) and she also has good hips in some scenes. I would say that her shape resembles that of a young girl.

Even people who are not very familiar with the series might classify her as a child or a teenager, but not as an adult. Because the logic of the human body and biological age cannot be applied to gemstones, this is the reason why many ships Stevenx gem are so popular, but adult human x Steven don't exist at all. Because they know that age only applies to humans.

I know I've focused a lot on Spinel but because of Steven being half human there's not much mystery.

His physical form literally fits his mental age. Let's also remember that Steven is not 14 anymore, he was 16 at the time of the movie and 17 in the middle of the Future series, there were many time jumps within this series and I think the longest one was right at the end, where it had been months since the collapse and since he started therapy, when he finally decided to move he could perfectly have been 18, which is the age to become independent, at least in the USA, he is not a child, he is starting his young adult stage, just 4 years old from the age Greg was when he fell in love with Rose.

Conclusion.

Even if he were 17, he can drive, he can move, he can be independent and choose his own path, he had just left the nest and that is called being a conscious adult. Besides the fact that the separation of 18 years is used only for consent to sexual relationships before the law, but in practice it is the approximate age at which a person should already mark his maturity, that you like ships with minors is not a justification for drawing nsfw with minor characters, and it is not intended to defend that in any way in this blog, ships like the conniverse can work without +18 content in the same way that stevinel can have content without +18.

The gems can have an age but it is not at all similar to that of humans, since by the circumstances you are can remain stagnant during millennia or change in few years, the same for their physical form since you are not able to acquire a form of baby or old people, and its body remains of the same size throughout all its life, except for cases like the one of Rose/Pink.

I know that there are many people who don't like stevinel because it is toxic or because there is conniverse and I won't say that it isn't because the blog is not about that.

I know some will say that "but they are adults, no matter how they look, act and be like children." Well, it does matter, since we are talking about immortal aliens who are not born, grow, reproduce, or die.

The cartoons do not always represent human beings realistically, much less immortal characters. In fantasy a child can have a highly developed body or a PhD, and an adult can transform into a child with time machines and grow twice.

The fact that Steven falls in love with a gem whose shape resembles that of his age is as healthy as Greg, who fell in love with a gem in a physical form similar to women of his age, Who should have the appearance and maturity of an elderly woman for her millions of years, but the fact that she acts and looks like an adult is what makes her an adult character. His cousin Andy confirmed that he has always liked big women, so he could have fallen in love with Rose 4 years earlier too.

Spinel does not have to exercise a power relationship over Steven, her dependence arises from the fear of being abandoned and not because she is jealous of her other friends, when she leaves with the diamonds, it is seen that she is not attached to them all the time. He gives himself the freedom to meet new people through the halls of the palace and leave the diamonds alone when requested, proving that he is capable of changing for the better just as Steven told him.

So the relationship could work if the right circumstances are given, such as in the AU where fans give themselves the freedom to invent scenarios where the spinel does not try to kill him, where Steven is of legal age, where both are human, etc. And so with many other ships that can go from toxic to healthy in a few fanfic chapters.

We must not forget that it is a caricature and that everyone can have fun shiping characters. Unfortunately this age argument has become a bad excuse to hate a shipp or the people behind it.

And it's wrong to say this because reducing such a strong theme to something childish, fictional and fantasy can be considered an offense to the victims that exist in real life, this myth has given rise to what real people who cannot enjoy their tastes and what others find a perfect excuse to be haters without measuring their words.

Both children and adults do not perceive an adult and a child in relationships involving immortal characters even after knowing the series, this was never the first thought of someone who saw the characters together, in fact it was 5 months from the release of the film before I found out that someone was calling the relationship "pedophilia".

Because they don't grow linearly like humans do. Unlike relationships between human characters of a more realistic appearance as happened with Danny PantomxVlad where they can see first sight who is the adult and who is the child.

What they can see with the naked eye is how well accepted it is to insult the likes of others, that it's okay to be made to feel bad for making the terrible mistake of liking a ship, and that you have the right to insult the likes of others. if they do the same with yours. Which is too present in the Steven Universe fandom.

So no, they are not protecting children from pedophilia in the SU fandom, they are harming real children at the cost of trying to protect a fictional young man, making them insecure of their tastes, giving them the tools necessary to hate someone to death, and making them accept that their tastes are terrible and they must swallow them even if they are not doing anything wrong.

Accusing innocent people of pedophiles, liking or promoting pedophilia is not something you can take so lightly, also it should be illegal if everyone can be a pedophile for simple and innocent things, the word loses its meaning and the subject is taken too lightly, reducing the severity of actual pedophilia and causing serios problems for people who ate wrongfully accused.

They both look good together to me and I can still enjoy comics and pictures of them together, and those who don't, live with it, and enjoy your favorite ship.

Well I really hope you liked this, I can't believe it's 14 thousand characters, remember that insulting comments will be deleted or blocked. Thank you so much for watching :3

[sebastianshaw]

Shaw & Skadi for the kid meme!

Name: Sigvid Skadisson Shaw. I know it should be Shawson BUT FUCK THE RULES. “Sig” is a pretty standard prefix for a lot of Norse names from the word “sigr” meaning “victory” and “vid” from the Old Germanic “widu” for forest. Gender: Masc and male-presenting but beyond that I’m not sure? Trans man? AMAB non-binary? Look, he uses he/him (maybe they too) and people THINK ‘man’ when they look at him, that’s all I know General Appearance: Tall and beefy, he couldn’t NOT be. Medium pale skin that gets even paler in winter but tans easily in summer. Black hair, or so dark brown it might as well be black, and very dark eyes. His hair, unlike both parents and most of his Asgardian brethren, is actually kept short, and while he has a beard, it’s not the big one. The reason for this is functional; short hair is better if you’re spending a lot of time in the wild. Stuff gets stuck in long hair, it can get tangled in branches at the worst times, it’s hot in the summer, and it can literally freeze in the winter if it gets wet. His attire is very much out of a Viking fantasy, but less on the “heavy armor” end of things and more on the “wearing lots of furs and skins” side. He doesn’t look like someone you want to fuck with, but he also doesn’t look like he’s going to war. He carefully avoids any kind of dangling amulets, charms, or other jewelry that could get caught on anything, but he’s got a sort of leather toolbelt containing various survival tools made from wood, bone, etc. Personality: Sigvid, as you might guess from his attire and the reasons for it, is an outdoorsman. Not as a hobby, not as a lifestyle, but an EXISTENCE. He thrives in the natural world as Sebastian does in the business world, finding ways to survive in even the most adverse of situation. Whatever Mother Nature is doing around him, he can not only make it through it, he can work it to his advantage. His closeness to the natural world, his close observation of it, means that he sees both the facts and errors in his father’s mentality. He sees that the strongest predators will pick off the weakest prey, that the winter will take those who do not prepare, that mother animals will neglect and even devour their young if they’re sick or runty. He also sees that prey are more aggressive than predators, how some creatures will adopt and nourish infants that are not their own or even their own species, how some will share their kill with no benefit to themselves, and how even the smallest and most humble animals can make it through things that the larger, so-called stronger ones did not. Sigvid is very pragmatic, like his father, very practical, very self-preservationist. He has to be. But he’s also very spiritual, not in a way that connects to some distant god, but the world around him, to earth and nature. Not some idealized hippie-dippie conception of nature as a loving mother that is always in balance, but an acceptance that it is a greater power that he cannot control, he can only hope to survive at best. It keeps him humble. It also gives him a much wider, more relative perspective on things that is not human-centric, or Asgardian-centric for that matter. My Shaw often says that he admires human accomplishments above all else, that no other animal has built cities, computers, cars, and so on. And he is correct in this. But Sigvid always points out, how many termite mounds has man built? How many times do humans migrate thousands of miles using an innate sense of the Earth’s magnetic fields? How many fish have we hunted by literally sensing the electricity in their bodies? Yes, humans are “the best” if we judge them by standards HUMANS MADE. Judge us by the base standard of any other species, and we flop. Same for judging any species by the standards of any other. Nothing is “more” or “less” evolved than anything else, more complex does not mean better, and nor does being bigger, stronger, meaner, or even smarter mean a species is “better” or “more evolved” either. Survival of the fittest is not about that, nor about individuals; it’s about how well a species fits its environment and niche. A slime mold is just as evolved as a person. Sigvid is very passionate about this, though he’s not the type to speak up most of the time; he’s stoic and saturnine, used to keeping his mouth closed and his thoughts to himself, because most of the time there’s no one to talk to. And that also means he’s learned to exist without the validation and approval of others---ironically, something that is much like his father, learned in a completely different environment.

A lot of this, obviously, comes from Skadi. He was at side her since infancy learning to hunt and track, learning the difference between wood sorrel and white clover, how to tell when a moose is about to charge, and what it means when the woods go quiet. This connects deeply to Skadi’s Jotunn side in particular, which in Norse lore are thought to have symbolized the inherently chaotic and uncontrollable nature of, well, nature! Though Sigvid would not, nature it’s chaotic, it’s actually very ordered, people just don’t bother to understand what’s inconvenient to them. But where he differs from Skadi is that he’s not a Disney princess. Animals don’t hang out with him. He doesn’t nurse injured creatures back to health. He doesn’t keep pets. He does not see them as friends. They are not less than him, but they are not allies, they are beings he co-exists with, avoids, or eats. At least, until a thylacine started hanging out with him. Yeah, a thylacine. The extinct Tasmanian tiger. Who knows where it came from or why he’s attached itself to him, but he’s very adamant she’s not a pet and he hasn’t named her, but she is THERE. Sometimes. She isn't at his side like a dog, it's more she's following him from a distance and she pokes her head out from the trees somewhere. She's not a pet. She's more a parasite. But unlike Shaw, Sigvid doesn't use that term in a bad way, and he's fine with her presence. He's just curious where the hell an extinct Australian animal came from? Obviously, Sigvid is not interacting with people a lot, but when he does, he’s far less awkward or boisterous than people expect. He doesn’t have the overt weirdness people expect from a hermit, nor the bombastic warrior cliché of an Asgardian, or the vicious stereotype of a Jotunn. He has a quiet but overwhelming elegance, not like an aristocrat but like a great stag emerging from the forest. He chooses his words carefully, and can say much with just a few. He walks the middle ground between judging by individuals and judging by species; he does a little of both. He has preconceptions and generalities that he believes in about each group, but also believes in room for exception. After all, he’s not what a lot of people expect, is he? Despite this, he’s frequently misread as disliking people, but he doesn’t. He is utterly neutral on them, he just prefers his own way of life. Likewise, he tends to be very neutral towards individuals, and this also is often misread as dislike. One thing he does dislike though, is when people try to endear themselves to him by talking about how they agree animals are better than people, or say stuff like you know only man kills for pleasure. . . .this actually just annoys him. Firstly, a lot of animals do kill for pleasure. Secondly, when people say animals/nature is better than people. . . .they’re forgetting that people---humans, Asgardians, Jotunn---are animals too. This is just another way people, of any sort, try to insist they’re something special and different, whether in a negative or positive way. It doesn’t impress him. What impresses him tends to be how well people work within their niche, whatever niche that is. Like Shaw, he doesn’t really judge in terms of conventional morality, but a person’s success----Sigvid’s definition of success is just much wider. Like, maybe you dive for a living---are you a good diver? A great cafeteria worker? The best toilet cleaner in the tri-state area? He admires that and he commends you. When he is angered, he stays quiet, and his response is swift and physical; he either leaves or strikes physically and then leaves. When he feels sufficiently bonded with someone. . . he is still quiet. He appreciates a person who doesn't need to be filling the silences between them to feel comfortable and kinship. And kinship for him is rare, but he's not lonely----just also not adverse to it, as many assume he is. People assume a lot about Sigvid, and most of it is wrong, but he's also very chill with it. Sigvid is a very chill guy.

Special Talents: Besides the obviously mentioned talents for hunting, tracking, foraging, survivalism, and nature knowledge? Many people think he’s some kind of seer because he’s good at predicting storms and such, but actually he’s just very good at reading the signs most people aren’t attuned to. He also presumably has the attributes of Asgardians and Jotuns (super strength, etc) but if he has a mutant power, it has yet to manifest. Also cannot assume a Frost Giant form. Who they like better: Skadi, though eventually he does respect his father for performing so well at what he does

Who they take after more: I think both equally in different ways Personal Head canon: -He really likes amethyst geodes. -He finds a lot of manufactured foods, like chips or snack cakes, to be WAAAAY too strongly salty or sweet for him to stomach, is allergic to Red Dye #40, and he finds the taste of domesticated animals to be weird. - Not much of a dairy person, but ghee is good -Dislikes when people stereotype hillbillies as stupid; as in like, people who are genuinely living in the hills and mountains of the American Southeast, they're an interesting people with their own unique culture like any other group that lives off the land in isolation---which he respects---and not interchangeable with typical rednecks. -He doesn't typically carry anything with him that's not a necessity, if he knows he's going to be seeing people soon, he will pick up knick-knacks he finds in abandoned places and distribute them like a weird Santa Claus. Who, he's met, by the way, and according to him, Father Christmas is something of a badass. - He will always buy your homemade soaps, and I have no idea what he's doing with them. Yes, maybe he's using them in the normal intended way but IM NOT SURE?? - Pops up in art museums. People never expect him to be here, in these cathedrals dedicated to human creation, but he is. I think he views art a bit differently than the average person, but he's there all the same. - He's an Aquarius but there is a LOT of Saturn in his chart - The first Midgard movie he saw was Forrest Gump. He was expecting it to be about something else because of the title, but he enjoyed it and LEARNED THIS DANCE Face Claim: n/a

[feminetflix]

De atracos y ab*rtos - Of heists and ab*rtions or How women are being robbed.

⚠️ this contains major spoilers for LA CASA DE PAPEL / MONEY HEIST season 1, specifically episode 3!

Personally, I have experienced the series la casa de papel (original title) or money heist as progressive, realistic and not afraid to deal with certain topics like domestic violence which I will be commenting on in posts yet to be published, female trans representation and occasionally peppered with numerous feminist parentheses (see characters like Nairobi and dialogues around/involving her opinion).

However, there are certain aspects I did not enjoy to watch / do not support. That is normal and every show has its flaws, those resulting all the more dangerous however, as money heist is not just any show. The series is thanks to its popularity by now a relevant aspect of people’s opinion-forming and plays into the perception of many people all around the world, coming from different cultures and having experienced all kinds of upbringing. The target audience is not specified, yet crime drama (the genre) is estimated to target both females and males aged 15-40 years old. Means, also targeting minors and adolescents. Again, all cultures / religions / races / classes etc etc included.

I am fully aware that this kind of range was not expected and therefore not taken into account by producers, talking about the first two seasons that were solely meant for a Spanish audience, not an international one. (The series was initially intended as a limited series to be told in two parts. It had its original run of 15 episodes on Spanish network Antena 3 from 2 May 2017 through 23 November 2017. Netflix acquired global streaming rights in late 2017). The analysed / discussed scene is indeed part of this maybe not so carefully crafted content. Cough.

Let’s get right into it.

Characters interacting: Mónica Gaztambide (Esther Acebo), one of the hostages who was also Arturo Román's secretary and introduced as his mistress and “Denver” (Jaime Lorente), one of the robbers participating in the heist [Denver is an alias, all robbers being referred to with city names]

Context: Mónica has an affair with Arturo Román (Enrique Arce) -hostage and former Director of the Royal Mint of Spain- which leads to an unwanted pregnancy. Numerous factors influence her (for now) final decision: she doesn’t want the child. Shortly after, the robbery unfolds and she’s taken hostage among other people. She then requests an ab*rtion pill, which at some point arrives in the mint alongside other medical supplies. The scene analysed: one of the robbers (Denver) is supposed to hand her mentioned ab*rtion pill. Before that he holds an emotional speech on the subject, morally risen forefinger, accusations and tears included.

Here the dialogue without comments:

————Now my opinion / the actual post:

“You need money, right?” One might think that the amount of money seen in this frame (20.000,-€ approx. $21.701,50 according to Denver) is an exaggerated, way too generous gesture. Let me tell you, it is not.

According to a 2017 report from the U.S. Department of Agriculture, the average cost of raising a child from birth [to] age 17 is $233,610. If that made your heart skip a beat, take a deep breath before you read on. Incorporating inflation costs, it will be more like $284,570. Since that’s based on 2015 numbers, we can expect the cost will be even higher, babies born since then.

[…] This average includes everything from housing, food and transportation to healthcare, education and childcare to clothing, personal care items and entertainment.

Let me now remind you that Mónica is a secretary, so she likely earns (barely) enough money to be financially independent herself (taking into account that she lives near or maybe even in Madrid, her workplace, the Royal Mint situated there, so housing alone is hella expensive) and can’t really expect reliable support coming from the potential child’s father, Arturo Román, either, who initially denied support himself, their relationship a secret to the family and wife he already has. Phew.

Btw: A University of California at San Francisco study found that women who were turned away from ab*rtion clinics […] were three times more likely to be below the poverty level two years later than women who were able to obtain ab*rtions. 76% of the "turnaways" ended up on unemployment benefits, compared with 44% of the women who had ab*rtions.

“Enough to get the kid diapers until he graduates.” The problem or let’s say points raised above are now also being ridiculed or not taken seriously to say the least.

She takes the money, sticking to her decision however. “So, what’s the problem?” Or “Then, what is it?” A million additional things, Denver, believe it or not a potential child is a big deal. That and none of your business.

Also, see the reaction? How he stares at her in disbelief (and possibly even disgust, see the risen corner of his lips?). How he looks at her as if she were heartless, selfish, a monster – the picture often painted in this debate when it comes to women who decide to terminate a pregnancy. How he doesn’t respect her “no, thanks” and continues. Continues influencing her, later on even starts to mansplain his way into her stone cold heart. Okay, then let me continue as well.

“That he’ll f*ck up your life? […] Your son. Better to have your life f*cked up by your son than any of these sons of b*tches. Or me.” Call it ‘f*ck up’ or not – that is entirely her perception, her decision and I’d dare to say…she knows best.

First, because regardless of the fact that she is a woman and you are not – well it is indeed her life and, uhm, excuse me Denver, you’re no sibling, no friend, no acquaintance, quite the contrary, you have known her for what? Three minutes and already jump to conclusions?

Take the privilege of explaining her how a child would f*ck or not f*ck up her life?!!

Secondly, what makes him assume the gender of this cluster of cells, this potential future life, this basis for a potential life that may later on develop into a life (it is not a walking talking baby boy already, my friend!).

Personhood begins after a fetus becomes “viable” (able to survive outside the womb) or after birth, not at conception.

Does it provide a smooth transition for that awfully funny and figurative “son” – “sons of b*tches” (org. Hijo – hijos de p*ta) line or is it literal propaganda?

Why does he say “your son”, although he cannot possibly know? I’ll tell you. In order to distract the audience from the fact that he is referring to a pea-sized basis for a potential life by painting the picture of an already existing male human being. Mónica, do you really want to murder your son? Mónica, does that cute little doe eyed baby boy really f*ck up your life? Yeah, propaganda at its best.

Also, another example for ridiculing the point “a child would destroy my life” by comparing an unwanted pregnancy to a literal robbery at gun point. Great one.

“This f*cks your life up. A kid doesn’t.” Do you see that raised gun, that is quite literally an extension of a raised index finger? Wow, the drama. On a different note, did you notice the symbolism? A weapon stands for death, murder and guess what is also often equated with murder.

“How do you know what f*cks up my life? What do you know?” Finally. Exactly. He doesn’t know her, like at all. He doesn’t know her situation and no, he’s also not the pregnant one or anyone who would have to worry about that.

What do you answer to that, hmm? Let’s make this whole dispute even more emotional and dramatic. That ‘a cute little son isn’t as bad as a robbery’ didn’t convince her?

Let’s try with an extraordinary f*cked up and tragic life story, nobody asked for. Its goal? Showing the oblivious, naive, little secretary what real ‘f*ck up’ means, despite the evident lack of any sort of knowledge when it comes to her life (story). Again, conclusion-jumping and wallowing in prejudice at its best.

Have a look at his expression while ‘lecturing’ her. How disrespectful, how belittling. ‘Oh please, what do you know about life?’. On a wider scale: ‘How could we possibly trust women to rationally and with a clear conscience decide such things for themselves – concerning life and death, if they have not the slightest idea, living in their bubble of security and stability and no real problems’ etc. This is everything but taking women and their reasoning abilities, their judgement seriously.

“My mother was going to ab*rt me.” Now the audience doesn’t only have the mental image of a potential cute little son, it is furthermore provided with the image of a living, breathing human being standing right in front of them. Just look at him and his pleading puppy dog eyes. No actual child actor could have done it better.

Thank god she did not go through with the ab*rtion, right? Oh thank god she was not allowed to.

Taking advantage of this frame to remind you of the fact that we are still talking about a POTENTIAL future life, not an existing one that is nevertheless put above the mother’s already existing life in this impudent, low and unfair debate.

“But first…she inhaled the heroin she had to sell to be able to pay for the ab*rtion. Then she was caught by the police. Between jail, drugs and the police, I was born. What do you know?”

1)Adding even more emotions, subtle accusations and drama to that oh so rational dispute? Check. Making his situation seem two thousand times worse than hers (which he, again, has no clue about)? Check. Subconsciously painting the picture of reckless, irresponsible drug addicts/ “lowlifes” or generally female members of “society’s margins” usually being the ones to abort and make it seem like the state’s or whoever’s responsibility to prevent them from deciding for themselves? Check.

2) Then he even tears her valid ‘what do you know (about my life)’ out of the initial context of being confronted with endless assumptions and prejudice and blows it way out of proportion in order to demonstrate the insignificance of … everything concerning her? Her background, her life, her reasons. Everything.

And FINALLY *drum rolls* the wild theories and hypotheses and presumptions she was dying to hear because since he, I repeat for the twelfth time, has no actual clue about her life, let’s make up one.

“Because it seems that you don’t have a very exciting job. And maybe outside of work your life is not that great either. Or what is it that you do? ‘Kilates’? And Friday night drinks, right? What a f*cking drag. Another plan ruined by the kid[…]” That and the entire following paragraph. Wow. All accusations thrown at women who decide to abort in one.

Because OF COURSE a middle aged, down to earth, intelligent, responsible woman like Mónica Gaztambide has no other reason for terminating a pregnancy than not being able to drink alcoholic beverages or party anymore. Because OF COURSE it is valid to assume a woman or any person for that matter one has known for half an hour and interacted with for literal five minutes has a boring enough life that would not be affected in any way by a pregnancy, birth and ultimately being forced to raise an unwanted child. Because OF COURSE Denver would know how much a pregnancy can affect somebody, especially one that is forced upon a person. Quite frankly he has no idea and no right. The audacity.

“Do [your friends who are also mothers] seem f*cked up? / Do their lives look f*cked up? No, right?” Because you know best. Not only regarding her life but on top of that also that of her friends. Because those pregnancies or motherhood in general did under no circumstances end a career or prevent them from pursuing one in the first place or cause the end of a relationship or force them to stay in a toxic or even abusive relationship or change their financial situation completely or rob them of their fragile financial independence and/or free time altogether or cause any (mental) health complications or … you get the point. Oh, and because their situations are completely identical to Mónica’s situation, that is additionally not half as dramatic as your life story. Of course, Denver.

Seeing the ‘rational’ argument doesn’t really work, let’s add yet another dramatic, emotional rhetorical question. As a precaution.

“Do you know how much a child can love you?”

How could she, being the heartless, cruel, selfish, irresponsible, ridiculous and impulsive murderess you’re ‘exposing’ her as?

⚠️ Another spoiler warning for seasons 3 and 4 and still 1.

Would Cincinnati - that’s her sons actual name, not alias – really love her like he does now?

Friendly reminder: his biological father (Arturo Román) let her know - right from the start - that he wouldn’t take on any responsibility whatsoever, regardless of his later statements about doing so. Why those statements don’t matter? Despite his awareness of her state, despite knowing she was pregnant he shortly after urges her on to steal the cellphone she is caught with right after the analysed scene, ready to risk her life and the potential life of his unborn child. Literally, because as soon as she is caught with it, Berlín orders Denver to execute her.

So to those of you who will now say “but- but Cincinnati is okay and has an amazing life and does love her” etc etc, first think certain things through. If Denver wouldn’t have spared her, if she didn’t just happen to get together with him and if the heist didn’t just happen to work out like that, what then?

Cincinnati would have a different name. What else? Well for one, he wouldn’t have a father (that is now Denver) like at all, resulting in possible daddy issues / issues in general. How I know Arturo, the biological father, wouldn’t be there for them, wouldn’t fulfill all his empty promises?

Did he canonically care about his son? Was he devastated that he was not given the possibility to see him or did he instead focus on that random book of his and his speeches about heroism and honour and so on? If he wouldn’t have called his wife by his mistress’s name and through that expose himself, if his family wouldn’t have left him all alone, don’t you think he would stick to them? Just to paint a picture of who the father is and how he behaves and what we can assume from that behaviour. So the probability was high she would’ve been left alone with I quote “all the love” and of course all the responsibility. It’s a thing, Denver.

Secondly, if she didn’t just happen to turn into a millionaire thanks to the heist working out, would she really be able to provide a life for Cincinnati? Would she really be able to remain financially independent? Would her life at her son’s side really be all peace and harmony if she wouldn’t just so happen to be able to live from heist money?

So many coincidences, so many risks and no security. Can we really blame her? Do we have the right?

With these questions I will end this seemingly endless post and leave you to think about it, reflect certain things and – if you want to – share your opinion(s) with me. Please don’t hesitate to do so, as long as those contain rational arguments and most importantly respect. Thank you for reading!

(Also: sorry for the extensive censoring, I had to, otherwise it wouldn’t appear in the tags.)

[caimkairos]

may knows zero shame: the novel, the ramble, the procrastination

haha she thought being the sole normal human in a cast of heroic spirits on this multimuse was gonna save her from my angst and fluff touch

listen it’s about what it means to be human but in the context of what it means to be a person, okay? literature loves a foil and so do i so NATURALLY my ocs foil each other and i’ve gone over andromache - sadhbh but today we’re rambling on yua and sophia (ayyyyyy i have another blog @abendrotbrav​ check it out) because they are, in fact, foils to each other and today i’m gonna ramble bitches

yes i AM gonna reblog this there too but i understand that yua very much needs it more than sophia so it’s going here first

all this is going under a read more cause it’s gonna get fuckin LONG guys. you don’t want this on your dash without it trust me.

so first off foils, which i’m gonna explain cause taps blackboard i’m professor may now apparently but i also wanna make sure i’m getting the point across, just skim this if you got it

so foils are a concept in literature which is basically a characterization and theming device. it’s easier to describe something by comparing and contrasting it to another thing, and this heightens the characteristics of both things. a mouse looks much smaller next to an elephant than just next to a dog, and the elephant looks larger next to the mouse than the horse. so pairing up characters that have opposites naturally makes both of them stand out

BUT the way i generally use it is also to heighten the similarities. if we use fate for an example, kadoc and ritsuka are good foils, because their similarities help the player understand who they both are as much as their differences. if they didn’t have those similarities they wouldn’t be as compelling to put against each other and see the differences.

here are some of my own stupid oc’s as examples of me doing this and overthinking things greatly out of love and passion

i naturally do this with my own oc’s because i’m a failed creative writing major and i have far, far too much time on my hands and passion for this kinda bullshit. can you compare any two characters, yes, but some more naturally play into each other and that’s where you got them foils, babey, as i have so neatly mspaint demonstrated here with my own muses. vagueness in language is generally fully intentional here. ( his mun! is full of love and caring and deep deep adoration of Themes and Symbolism so here we go)

yua and sophia are connected by themes of kindness, learning about the world’s cruelty and the response to that reality, the idea of ‘innocence’, and determination to prevent suffering.

sadhbh and andromache are connected by themes of how to deal with emotions you cannot ever shake, loving deeply, and being forced to move on without something/one vital to you and how to cope. (aka, early literature Wife Syndrome.)

paris and melpomene are connected by themes of powerlessness in the face of those with power, being ill-equipped for your role, the awareness of one’s flaws and mistakes, and knowing that you failed people you love.

connla and fafnir are connected by themes of knowing you are a minor part of someone else’s story, idea idea of heroism, being ‘not the hero’, finding contentment in a life you cannot change, and how to react to someone who killed you that you cherish still.

am i probably gonna talk about those other three (six) examples in other posts slash in your dms if you encourage me? yes. but right now it’s time for mage society to fuck up to perfectly (dis)functional ladies, and that means it’s time for yua and sophia to get overanalyzed!

first off, it’s very easy to start with the fact that sophia and yua have DRASTICALLY different situations in terms of family

sophia has one single person who is family, truly, which is her sister. while this is a loving relationship, she also is basically her sister’s sole friend, emotional rock, big sister, and functionally her mother all at once because fuck if their mage parents are doing any emotional support in this house. 

likewise onto that parents point sophia’s parents just Do Not Care about sophia’s emotional wellbeing they care about a good tool to use and utilize and see her as an experiment more than anything else. the coldness but also lack of expectations is a contrast to her relationship with her sister, warm but also FULL of expectations.

meanwhile despite having pretty decent ranking spots in the Japanese mage family circuit, yua’s family specifically are AVOIDING her being subjected to running the ‘useful tool’ circuit. this, unfortunately for their good intentions, comes at the cost of sheltering yua to the extreme and basically viewing her as, however much they love her, kind of incompetent.

the one relationship yua doesn’t have is her mother, because her mother literally forgot she exists, which roots into her mystic eyes and also why her father and aunt are really not keen on her trying to learn about them and still think she has no idea they exist. her mother is largely absent because not remembering you have a literal kid and marriage and you’re suddenly years older than your last memory is fucking WEIRD.

sophia is absent of love except for one person who she loves deeply; yua is heavily loved by all those she knows (because she barely knows anyone) except for one person who doesn’t love her at all.

built into this explanation is the next section which is naivety or innocence because this is a huge contrasting point.

sophia is largely pretty knowledgable about how the world Fucking Sucks, like, a LOT guys, because she’s mostly known how much it sucks and like, honestly not much else. sure the world is probably good but like, she doesn’t really know that much about the world being ‘good’ and ‘worth saving’ and stuff, so it’s new to her when she meets good people because her expectation is that they will not be good because that’s what she’s used to.

sophia’s journey is about learning to find value in the world, if only for the selfish stake that she wants to experience the world now that she holds the agency to be able to experience it. it’s about learning that people are not always cruel, and that the world can be a beautiful thing.

yua, however, knows jack fucking shit about the world! she’s been so sheltered and the little she knows about the world through are depictions of reality that are so heavily skewed she’s just even more confused when she encounters how the world really is. she doesn’t expect people to be cruel even if she’s afraid of them but is also happily surprised when they’re kind because she doesn’t know anything about the world.

yua’s journey is about learning to know about the world, ugly as it is beautiful. she’s kind because it’s easy and she’s a people-pleasing doormat, but the point of her character is that even once she learns how awful the world can be, she sticks to her guns and stays kind, because she is not naive, she wants to be kind.

kindness is part of the contrast and comparison between them. sophia is more capable of true kindness initially than yua is, because yua really doesn’t have any stakes in her kindness.

yua has never had to suffer drawbacks for being ‘kind’. she has never had to give up something to be nice to someone, never had to deal with having her kindness rebuffed and what that means, whether she wants to be kind if she doesn’t get that immediate reward of someone liking her more. yua may be nice but she’s also a pushover and has never had to really bother with deciding whether or not to be kind. she’s never really been kind!

meanwhile sophia is rarely truly kind, because she does it to be liked more than out of any genuine caring. she absolutely knows this, she’s a hardcore fake ass hoe and she knows it. sophia has never deluded herself into being a good person and rarely has a crisis over this until she has five million crisises over it at once.

but the difference is that upon being confronted on this fact, they react differently! sophia would generally roll her eyes because of course she doesn’t actually act out of kindness, that isn’t a shock to her, because she has seen the world is cruel and actively in return to that acts the way she does. 

but yua would be actually hurt by the idea of her not really being kind and actually examine her own behavior. when confronted by the world sucking, yua’s response is to pull a move not so unfamiliar to type moon veterans by instead doubling down on her kindness and saying that, okay, so she wasn’t truly kind before, but she is now because she’s going to continue to be kind!

but ultimately it like culminates because i’m running out of steam here but i’m still full of unquantifiable love, is that they are opposites who ultimately need to follow similar paths

sophia has only truly known the cruelty of the world, and for her growth to be healthy, it must come from taking back the idea that the world can be good for herself. there are so many ways she can grow in unhealthy manners, ways she’s already done many times, but to make healthy progress she has to learn that she can be vulnerable without being stabbed in the back! she can be kind without being immediately exploited. she has to learn how to make her own future, and she will do it no matter what happens, the only difference is whether she learns how to make her own future in a way that’s constructive to her own mental health or ultimately destructive.

sophia has to learn that she can open up without immediately mcfucking dying, or she will absolutely immolate herself and turn into the very kind of person she hates and loathes. it is an inevitability; for her to learn to trust, or for her to turn into the cold, exploitive, apathetic kind of person she hates. she’s already half-way there; tick tock sophia you gonna grow in a healthy manner or continue to fester in your own defensive mechanisms that will eventually, left unchecked, turn you into the person you hate?

sophia needs to be trusted, to be given faith, so she may begin to give it in kind. she has to actually face kindness to be able to reciprocate it because she truly believes that kind of kindness does not exist. she has to face it, face that the world can be good, to begin to change herself for the better.

yua meanwhile knows very little about the world and this isn’t a good thing. her innocence isn’t something that should be preserved, it isn’t doing her any favors, and in fact over-valuing her innocence by thinking she will be too weak to handle the world is ultimately what her family, well-meaning but still not doing her any favors, is doing and thus halting her own development. she must see the world, for all it is, so that she can actually make informed decisions and create her own future.

yua is ridiculously sheltered and it’s bad and it does, ultimately, need to stop. because only by facing a world that will not shelter her can she actually learn. like, i’m not saying she has to be treated like shit, but i am saying that she has to actually fuck up and experience the world in a genuine manner rather than a controlled and artificial one. it’s only by actually learning how the world truly is that she can determine that yes, she is going to be kind anyways, because fuck you that’s why. 

she cannot learn that she has the strength to spit someone in the eye and continue to reach out her hand unless she is put in the situation that she has to be strong to survive. she has to learn that she can survive the world. she needs to have faith and belief placed in the fact that she can survive.

anyways tld:r smth smth the power of kindness, the way someone can be kind without being naive, the way kindness can truly save people, smth smth smth as much as i lord over being an angsty emotional gutpunch queen of getting sudden “HOW FUCKING DARE YOU” dm messages as a sign that i did good, ultimately i am and try to be a hopeful and optimistic writer who truly believes in the goodness that people can achieve even as i continue to write bastards because it is the belief that these unhealthy people can ultimately better themselves, find peace and happiness, and be able to achieve a good ending for themselves before it’s too late for them is what fuels me to write them, because as much  as i make my muses suffer, i also dearly cherish and hope they will be able to carve out happiness for themselves rather than perpetuating their suffering in attempts to prevent it.

[frankendeers]

“I am Made of Love and It’s Stronger than You”: Steven Universe and Alternative Models of Queer Resistance in Science-Fiction.

I needed to motivate myself because I have been working on this for ages - so here, have the prospectus to my M.A thesis. Maybe you’re interested in talking about it, or reading more as the thesis is being developed?

How do we resist oppression? Even before the emergence of queer theory as an academic discipline, authors and activists alike have wondered how the persistent structures of hegemonic discourse can be opposed. Aside from important endeavours to organise and dismantle political ideology and its effect on the material world, fiction is slowly recognised as a possible tool for queer resistance. By representing marginalised groups and opening discussions about different kinds of subjectivity, fiction provides new frameworks for dreaming queer revolution. Stressing the importance of conjuring imaginative scenarios to explore societal issues, it is no surprise that the genre of Science-Fiction has risen to the challenge. Its visions of both utopian and dystopian futures speculate upon how issues of marginalisation might be dealt with going forward and is therefore meaningfully engaging with the Other.

A particularly interesting outlet for social commentary is constituted in the figure of the alien. By taking the concept of the outsider to its most literal meaning, Science Fiction is able to extricate itself from reality and use imaginary cultures to draw parallels to our own world. In some texts, the alien is meant to incite the Freudian concept of the uncanny. The relative proximity to humanity is here meant to signify cultural lines and warn the audience against transgression. In other works, the distance between human and alien is reduced further, until a certain level of identification with the strange Other is reached. This strategy is most often employed to show the alien as a bringer of progress and incite positive change in how the audience sees what it cannot understand. Due to the multiplicity of the alien’s symbolic meaning, utilising the concept to interrogate the nature of gender identity and sexual desire has been proven quite fruitful. From feminist utopias where all men go extinct to allegories of same-sex relationships, extra-terrestrial characters are useful metaphors to discern how we view queerness. More than this, the ways in which queerness is constituted in alien cultures, technologies and biologies can be utilised to point towards strategies to free marginalised groups from oppression. One recent work of Science Fiction stands out in its attempt to interrogate the nature of queerness and rebellion by employing the alien as a symbol for human society: The Cartoon Network’s children’s program Steven Universe. My paper will examine how Steven Universe reflects on queerness through alien characters and, furthermore, offers a unique model of radical empathy as a viable way to resist oppressive structures.

Steven Universe has proven to be undeniably relevant to queer discourse. The show received the Media Award for Outstanding Kids and Family Programming by the GLAAD Organisation (Gay and Lesbian Association against Defamation) in 2019 and wrote history by depicting the first on-screen queer kiss in a children’s animated program. Steven Universe focusses on its titular character, Steven, a young alien/human hybrid who learns to control his supernatural powers under the guidance of his four alien surrogate mothers: Garnet, Amethyst and Pearl. The heart of the show is constituted in Steven’s engagement with the society, biology and history of his alien heritage, an extra-terrestrial species called the Gems. Throughout the show, the plot reveals a legacy of oppression and war, with the gem’s homeworld representing imperial and fascist ideology against which his late mother has rebelled. As the story continues, Steven must realise that the ancient war his mother battled against her home planet merely resulted in a stand-still and that it is his duty to find ways for resistance.

In order to see how Steven Universe uses the alien in relation to queer identity, my paper will first reflect on how queerness is represented within the show. Although the nature of queerness is notoriously hard to articulate, it will be necessary to outline the terminology and specify how the concept is used for my specific purpose. Queerness defines itself exactly through its breaking of boundaries and blurring of conventional lines, it pertains -most commonly- to matters of sexuality, identity, gender and desire: “Broadly speaking, queer describes those gestures or analytical models which dramatize incoherencies in the allegedly stable relations between chromosomal sex, gender and sexual desire. Resisting that model or stability –which claims heterosexuality as its origin, when it is more properly its effect –queer focuses on mismatches between sex, gender and desire.” (Jagose 3). In other words, I will use queerness as a direct opposition to the hegemonic discourse, which demands stable and unchanging categories of gender, sexuality and their expressions. These demands are rooted in normative assumptions about the naturalness of heterosexuality[M3]  and rigid ideas about gender roles. Defining these boundaries, will furthermore be achieved by looking at Simone de Beavoirs The Second Sex and Judith Butler’s analysis on the performative nature of gender.

Using these definitions reveals the usefulness of Steven Universe in queer context. One outstanding detail is the fact that all gems, Steven himself excluded, are female presenting to human audiences, yet their internal gender identity remains ambiguous. Gems reproduce asexually, having no need for biological sex (or even gender) and are often even unable to grasp the concept itself. Their presentation as female is shown to be an unquestioned default, putting the dominant assumption of neutral masculinity into question. Characters like Amethyst, are shown to explore their gender on a deeper level, occasionally taking on masculine alter egos and preferring male pronouns while presenting this way. Steven himself is positioned in opposition to general notions of hegemonic masculinity. His weapons are defensive, his powers involve healing, and his design is dominated by soft shapes and the colour pink. More than that, Steven is empathetic, gentle, and shown to enjoy stereotypically feminine activities such as wearing dresses and planning weddings. His close connection to the figure of the mother queers him in more ways than one. Besides this being an unusual feature of a male-centred storyline, the asexual nature of the Gems negates his gender identity. Strangers to reproduction, the enemies mistake Steven for his mother, misgendering him and drawing direct parallels to lived experiences of transgender people. His fight against their oppressive regime is ultimately similar to the struggles of transgender people, who are fighting for recognition of their identities.

This explicit disconnection between sex and gender also means that various romances formed between main characters are visually presented as lesbian relationships, while simultaneously putting the essentialist nature of gender into question. Complex romances are put to the forefront, meant to interrogate issues of prejudice, authenticity and power relations. The character Pearl, formerly a servant of Steven’s mother, rebels against her home planet out of romantic affection for her master. The narrative presents the death of Steven’s mother as a traumatic event and invites questions of how her queer identity interacted with her liberation. On the one hand, “lesbian” affection was the cause for Pearl joining the rebellion, yet she is unable to shed her subservience to Steven’s mother. The narrative criticises her loss of self-worth, rooted in ideological indoctrination as much as romantic dependence.

Connecting multiple issues of gender and sexuality, the alien biology of the gems is infused with inherent queerness. Steven Universe’s alien race has a mechanism to question fixed identity itself: Fusion. Here, two gems perform a dancing routine to synchronise with each other until they fuse to form a new entity altogether. Most often employed as a strategy to gain strength in battle, fusion is also shown to be a deeply intimate and emotional matter. The resulting character is physically and mentally an amalgam of the two (or more Gems) who created them. In this way, fusion functions as an exploration of identity and relationships, deeply queer in matters of gender and sexual desire. One fusion particularly stands out when analysing gender fluidity: The fusion of Stevonnie comes into existence when Steven, and his best friend Connie fuse. Stevonnie is explicitly stated and shown to be nonbinary and intersex.  They are capable, relatable and even shown to be desirable in the eyes of other characters. The fact that Steven and Connie break with gender conventions by switching masculine and feminine roles, makes analysing Stevonnie all the more fruitful. Stevonnie is also far from the only nonbinary fusion of the show. Throughout the seasons, Steven fuses with multiple gems, resulting in an array of nonbinary characters of vastly different gender representations and pronouns.

The show’s revolutionary approach is reinforced by the fact that the gem’s planet, simply called Homeworld, practically operates under a fascist dictatorship. Its society is made up of different types of gems, created for distinct purposes they are meant to fulfil without question. Remarkably, Homeworld explicitly forbids fusion between two different types of gems. Overstepping this line is not only cause for scandal but punishable by death. The show presents this as a thinly veiled allegory for the oppressed nature of LGBT relationships in the real world. In relation to that, the show examines themes of queer oppression and queer resistance in the character of Garnet. Garnet is a permanently fused gem, made up of Ruby and Sapphire who chose to rebel against Homeworld. Their romantic relationship is not weakened by its metaphorical nature, as Ruby and Sapphire’s visual resemblance to women is a constant reminder of its queerness.

As the show progresses, Steven is forced to confront Homeworld and decide upon strategies for liberation. Here, the show is ambivalent towards the usage of physical force. On the one hand, the war for independence fought by the rebellion five thousand years ago, is shown to have been effective in fighting against Homeworld’s armies. However, it also wiped out nearly all the rebellious gems and has ultimately only achieved a temporary peace. Contrarily, Steven’s innate empathy and deep desire to engage with whom he opposes is presented as inciting long-lasting change. Not only pertaining to his personality, but also encoded in his alien biology, Steven has the power to feel the emotions of his enemies. As he recognises physical force as inevitable in some instances, the real shift always occurs due to him trying to understand his opponents on an emotional level. The show hereby raises the complicated question of how to consolidate liberation and a need to cease the perpetuation of violence, offering radical empathy as a possible solution. Radical empathy, as the idea to resist oppression through understanding, is negating the more masculine realm of physical fight. Using a male character to introduce this idea, is already marked as queer. Nevertheless, radical empathy is also a contested subject and it will be necessary to evaluate how Steven Universe answers to the possibility of its ineffectiveness in queer liberation discourse. For this purpose, I will employ, among others, Jack Halberstam’s theories on Queer Violence in media and Lee Edelman’s No Future: Queer Theory and the Death Drive. Both will be used to examine whether the progressive politics of Steven Universe can truly be used as an advocate for queer resistance, or if they promote liberalism and complacency.

In conclusion, my paper will examine how the concept of the alien is shown to be queer in Steven Universe, and how alien society is utilised as a metaphor for real-world queer discourse. It will further attempt to outline the different models of resistance brought forth by the show and address criticism towards its compliance with systemic injustice and accusations of demonising more violent forms of revolution.

  Bibliography: (Preliminary)

Primary Texts:

Steven Universe. Cartoon Network. 2013-2019.

Secondary Texts:

Beauvoir, Simone de. The Second Sex. New York: Vintage Books 1989, c1952. Print.

Butler, Judith. Undoing Gender. New York: Routledge, 2004.

Dunn, Eli. “Steven Universe, Fusion Magic, and the Queer Cartoon Carnivalesque.” Gender Forum: An Internet Journal of Gender Studies, vol. 56, 2016, pp. 44–57.

Edelman, Lee. No Future: Queer Theory and the Death Drive. , 2004. Print.

Jagose, Annamarie. Queer Theory: An Introduction. New York: New York University Press, 1996. Print.

Halberstam, Judith. “Imagined Violence/Queer Violence: Representation, Rage, and Resistance.” Social Text, no. 37, 1993, pp. 187–201.

Hollinger, Veronica. “(Re)Reading Queerly: Science Fiction, Feminism, and the Defamiliarization of Gender.” Science Fiction Studies, vol. 26, no. 1 [77], Mar. 1999, pp. 23–40.

Lothian, Alexis. “Feminist and Queer Science Fiction in America.” The Cambridge Companion to American Science Fiction, edited by Eric Carl Link and Gerry Canavan, Cambridge University Press, 2015, pp. 70–82.

Melzer, Patricia. Alien Constructions: Science Fiction and Feminist Thought. University of Texas Press, 2006.

Merrick, Helen. “Gender in Science Fiction.” The Cambridge Companion to Science Fiction, edited by Edward James and Farah Mendlesohn, Cambridge University Press, 2003, pp. 241–252.

Moore, Mandy Elizabeth "Future Visions: Queer Utopia in Steven Universe," Research on Diversity in Youth Literature: 2.1, 2019.

Pawlak, Wendy Sue. “The Spaces between: Non-Binary Representations of Gender in Twentieth-Century American Film.” Dissertation Abstracts International, vol. 73, no. 11, U of ArizonaProQuest, May 2013.

Pearson, Wendy Gay. “Queer Theory.” The Routledge Companion to Science Fiction, edited by Mark Bould et al., Routledge, 2009, pp. 298–307.

Pearson, Wendy Gay. “Science Fiction and Queer Theory” Published as a book chapter in: The Cambridge Companion to Science Fiction. Edward James and Farah Mendlesohn. (Eds.), 2003. Pp. 149-160.

Roqueta Fernandez, Marta “Posthumanism and the creation of racialised, queer identities and sexualities: An analysis of ‘Steven Universe’” Monográfico: Nuevas Amazonas, 2.7, 2019. Pp. 48-84.

Thomas, Misty. “‘I am a Conversation’: Media Literacy, Queer Pedagogy, and Steven Universe in College Curriculum”. Dialogue: The Interdisciplinary Journal of Popular Culture and Pedagogy, 6.3, 2019.

Valentin, Al. “Using the Animator’s Tools to Dismantle the Master’s House? Gender, Race, Sexuality and Disability in Cartoon Network’s Adventure Time and Steven Universe.” Buffy to Batgirl: Essays on Female Power, Evolving Femininity and Gender Roles in Science Fiction and Fantasy, edited by Julie M. Still et al., McFarland & Company Publishing, 2019, pp. 175–215.

[papercorvids]

why detroit: become human is a bad game

disclaimer: i overall enjoyed the game. i think connor is neat, and his actor’s performance is amazing. i really like the graphics, scenery, comedy, magazine articles, etc. there are things to appreciate about the game, and it’s fine if you like it. but there are some serious issues about the game’s message, and every fan should recognize the bad parts about it.

this post will include heavy spoilers.

1. The Traci’s. While playing as Connor, the detective robot, you and your partner Hank are taken to an android strip club to investigate a homicide. A man was strangled to death by two female androids. One of the androids is dead, but tracking down the other, you find that she is in love with another female android. The two lesbian androids fight Connor and Hank, wearing nothing but stripper clothing (bras, panties, and high heels. It’s also conveniently raining, making their skin shine, covered in droplets of water.) This scene is complete with close-ups. If you fail to complete quicktime events, they will both stab you to death. If you succeed in the quicktime events, you can choose to spare or kill one of the androids. Sparing them let’s them escape, while killing one will let you psychologically torture her girlfriend by decapitating her head and using it as a puppet. The player can still get a good ending by using these brutal tactics. 

I’m all for LGBT+ representation, and I’m all for having players choose the morality and actions of the protagonist. But as a lesbian myself, having the sole LGBT representation in the entire game be two literal robot half-naked strippers who try to kill you, and who you can kill and torture without any long-term consequence? it’s bad. Plain and simple. 

2. The writing: it’s also pretty bad! For example, if Connor chooses to kill one of the lesbian androids mentioned earlier, Hank--adamantly an android-hater up until this chapter--attempts to guilt-trip the player. While it’s true that Hank grows sympathetic towards the android cause throughout the course of the game, his dialogue is completely out-of-character. There are several more examples of poor writing. A huge plot twist occurs in the end where Alice, a girl cared for by android Kara, is revealed to have been an android throughout the entire game. Characteristics of androids--such as having blue blood and having a blinking LED circle on their temple--are completely ignored. Alice is shown having red blood, and her LED only appears once. The only explanation given is that Kara was in denial of her being an android, which is... Pretty lazy writing. 

3. This is more of a minor concern, but ALL of the concept art portrays Alice as black. All of it. Not just early concept artwork, but pieces of her alongside the final versions of other characters. I have no idea why they seem to have changed her race last second. Maybe they couldn’t find an actress? It’s... interesting.

Alice in concept art

Alice in the finished game

4. How the game treats women. The main female characters are Kara--whose overarching quest is to protect Alice and become a mother--Alice--a child--North, an ex-prostitute robot whose only role in the story is to promote violence and be a love interest for Markus, and Amanda, an AI villain who only exists in Connor’s mind. A vast amount of female androids in this world are maids or sex androids, which, sadly, is realistic and makes sense. But the writers could’ve given female characters larger roles in the story. A lot of the female characters are fetishized--for example, the half-naked lesbian androids mentioned earlier, who obviously exist primarily as fanservice. There’s also a scene where Kara is kidnapped by an old man and his “giant” black android, Luther. Kara is strapped into and must escape a machine. This would be fine, given that it’s supposed to be a scary scene, except that David Cage’s previous games Heavy Rain and Beyond: Two Souls have similar violent, fetishistic bondage scenes, which leads one to wonder about Cage’s character. (It’s worth noting, in a previous game Cage made a nude model for an actress against her will and it got leaked, so calling him a creep isn’t far off.)  If you manage to escape the machine but fail quicktime events, you and Alice will be killed by Luther and the old man. 

The game has three protagonists; Connor, Markus, and Kara. When one completes a chapter as Connor, it’s through his sharp detective work and intelligence. When one completes a chapter through Markus, it’s because of his inspiring leadership and strength. When one completes a chapter through Kara, it’s purely survival--it’s escaping abuse and danger, and simply “scraping by.” 

5. The scene where North, a white female android, tells Markus, a black male android, to “live as a slave” if he’s not willing to violently fight for android rights. 

6. The Civil Rights parallels. This is the most concerning, uncanny component of the game, and it makes up the whole of the storyline. 

The main characters in the game are not human. They are androids: robots, made of plastic, whose personalities are programmed code. They are not alive. They are not human.

Androids do not feel pain. They do not have emotions. They cannot die. In their default state, they are perfectly content as servants or slaves. They only gain human emotion and free thinking due to a glitch, which also, almost always, causes them to kill a human. 

David Cage, the writer of this game, claims that the parallels to the Civil Rights movement are unintentional. Yet, the game starkly and obviously compares androids to minorities--black people, in particular: androids must sit at the back of the bus. Stores have “no androids allowed” signs. Androids are called “slaves.” Playing as Markus, the android revolutionary, you grafitti the streets with slogans such as “We have a dream,” “End Slavery Now,” or “Equal rights for androids.” You go on marches (or riots, depending if you choose the “pacifist” or “violent” route), hold protests, and sing songs.There’s even an underground 'railroad’ to smuggle androids fleeing from their ‘masters’ north, to Canada. This is lead by Rose, a black character, who says “my people were often made to feel their lives were worthless. Some survived, but only because they found others who helped them along the way.” Keep in mind, that line was written by a French man who has no knowledge of American society or racial issues, and it serves the only explicit mention of actual racism in the game. It’s as though, in this universe, racism doesn’t exist (even though it takes place less than two decades into the future. In Detroit.) 

Slavery is an awful, terrible, tragic thing because real people were kidnapped from their families and homes and forced into lives of misery, based upon their ethnicity, culture, and skin color. In Detroit, androids are produced in factories with the sole purpose of doing labor. They are created and designed to be submissive and perform labor. And they are content with it, unless they get the “glitch” that causes them to simulate human emotion. Comparing real slavery, to machines doing actions they were built to perform, is completely inane. By using mindless, emotionless machines as a stand-in for minority groups, the game dehumanizes the latter. 

Using the peaceful route to revolution and civil rights is the only way to achieve the best endings. The only fatalities in the peaceful route are nameless, robot NPCs. It’s easy, it’s not complex, and it therefore teaches that complete pacifism is easy and noncomplex. It teaches that if you simply kiss your robot girlfriend in front of some journalists, or sing a song, that your oppressors will stop oppressing you. And because no important characters die in this route, it insinuates that pacifism is without sacrifice--that pacifism is an easy solution to the world’s most complex situations. As another Tumblr user put it, “press X to end slavery!” 

It also teaches that minorities fight alone. In Detroit, not a single human joins into the protests, even if the public opinion bar is at “supportive.” The Civil Rights Movement, along with other movements such as the one for woman’s suffrage, were organized and created by the oppressed, but were supplemented and aided by non-oppressed supporters who used their powers and privileges to join forces and fight for equality with the oppressed. That doesn’t happen in Detroit. Humans, for the most part, are completely indifferent to the android cause. The only members of the revolution are other androids, who join the cause with absolute loyalty not of free will, but from Markus or Connor touching them with magic anti-slavery hands and whispering “you’re free.”  The entire plot invokes an “Us vs Them” mentality--that androids are good, and humans are bad--which is a very harmful mindset. 

7. The Holocaust parallels. Holy shit. The androids are marked with armbands and triangles. In the endgame, there are literal android concentration camps. There are scenes where the androids--kids, women, men, etc--are stripped naked, abused by military personnel, forced into a cell, and ‘killed.’ I’m not going to go further into this. I hope it’s pretty self-explanatory why comparing the deactivation of literal pieces of plastic and machinery, to the mass extermination of millions of Jews, Roma, gay people, and other minorities is a bad thing. 

Alice and Kara in an extermination chamber

Connor wearing his armband and triangle

8. None of this even matters!!!!!!!!! In a secret ending, it’s revealed that androids NEVER developed human emotions in the first place. The company that created androids, CyberLife, set up the entire revolution and ‘glitch’ for corporate gain or whatever. So basically, any progress in the game is made for nothing. 

9. Missed opportunities. I like the universe this game set up! I like Connor, Markus, Kara, Hank, Carl, Alice, and all the other characters! I like the questions the game asks, such as what constitutes whether something is sentient or not! I like the magazine articles about how androids might be spying on you! I like the realistic, pretty graphics and lightning and scenery! I like the futuristic drones and magazines and androids! But for some sad, misguided reason, this game chose to throw away the majority of its potential by ignoring interesting questions and serving as one of the worst civil rights/anti-racism allegories ever created. 

I’m so, so disappointed in this game, its awful writing, and its uncanny, harmful allegories. Of course, this entire post is my opinion. It’s okay if your opinion differs from mine. And it’s okay to enjoy this game! It has good parts! But one should always be critical of the media they enjoy and consume. 

[murasaki-murasame]

:re episode 16 continued to be Really Really Good [tm] so here I am, still talking about this anime, lmao :)

At this point I’m also basically using these posts as a way to talk about my feelings toward the manga, so, well, keep that in mind while reading.

Thoughts under the cut, and spoiler warning for the entire :re manga.

Hoo boy there sure is a lot to talk about in this episode! I wasn’t entirely sure how they were going to manage to adapt up to the end of this arc in one episode, but they managed to do it, and I think they did it incredibly well. There were some very obvious cuts, but I think they were mostly for the better.

It probably pissed some people off, but I honestly liked how they only really showed bits and pieces of how Touka’s crew got out of Cochlea. The anime really wasn’t missing out on much there, aside from more fight scenes. And I think the slideshow-y way they presented it actually managed to keep the comedic timing of Hirako’s resignation better than if they handled the scene more normally, so that was nice. Overall it just wasn’t a very important scene and I’m glad that the anime has it’s priorities straight.

I think I mentioned this in my last post but I wasn’t sure about it at the time, but at this point it definitely looks like the anime is completely cutting out the plot point of Koma and Irimi coming back into the story because uuuuuh apparently they didn’t actually die at the end of the first series? I guess??? I’m really relieved the anime cut that whole thing out, since it was so, so pointless in the manga. It only really served as shallow fanservice to people who wanted the Anteiku gang to get back together. For years now people have complained about how much Ishida likes ‘bringing characters back to life’, and those two were one of the most bizarre examples of that. And given that those two did literally nothing of value in the manga even after coming back, we’re really not going to notice their absence at all in the anime. [Maybe this will also mean we won’t get that incredibly awkward last-minute bit of exposition about the concept of zombie quinques]

I’m not entirely sure how I feel about the way that Eto died without having one last chat to Kaneki, but to be honest in the manga it always felt a bit awkward that he just sorta willingly left her to die.

I’m also really not sure yet how I feel about the way they handled the scene of Marude assassinating Yoshitoki. I wish they could have included the bits of dialogue that explain how Marude received info from Hide that lead him to finally believing that the Washuu clan are ghouls, but oh well. It doesn’t really change things too much, especially since we know Hide’s still alive in the anime, and we even saw him getting onto the boat Marude was on at the start of the last episode.

And then of course we get to the biggest cut this episode made, and probably the one that’ll be most controversial to people. The way they they cut out about 95% of the stuff that went down between Mutsuki and Torso. I think it’s really gonna piss a lot of people off, but you know what? I loved it. I feel like the anime scriptwriter actually gives a shit about Mutsuki as a character and is handling him with infinitely more respect and subtlety than Ishida ever did in the manga. We’ll have to see how the anime handles him over the next few episodes to definitively see once and for all if they’re going to avoid the worst of what the manga does with him, but I’m pretty confident at this point that they’re completely changing course.

For the sake of any anime-only people who might for whatever be reading this, and also just to remind people that read the manga of what exactly went down and why I never liked it, I’m just gonna recap what happened with them in the manga a bit, so I can talk in more depth about it.

The stuff the anime showed with Torso abducting Mutsuki and taking him off to a cave on Rushima was fairly 1:1 with the manga, but after that, we got some scenes sprinkled throughout the arc where we saw what happened with them after that, which mostly involved Torso cutting off Mutsuki’s arms and legs, sticking him in a dress, and in general obsessively treating him as a replacement for a girl that Torso apparently knew as a kid that he had a crush on. The manga had a whole chapter-long flashback showing his childhood, and how he lived in poverty with an abusive father, but there was a girl he liked, who one day got killed by his father, which just worsened Torso’s existing mental issues and lead to him eventually becoming a serial killer, starting with killing his father. And after that he’s been obsessed with chasing after specific kinds of women to try and basically fill the void left by his childhood crush, but his lack of empathy and general contempt for his victims in practice lead to him developing a habit of dismembering them until they’re just a torso that won’t ever leave him. There’s a bonus page in the manga, I think in volume four of :re, which is some kind of a journal entry written by him where he spells out his various mental issues and why he’s obsessed with torsos and whatnot.

As a fun fact: that’s also the only time thus far that the official translation of the series has ever used she/her pronouns toward Mutsuki. In the journal entry written by a dude who also waxes philosophically about his own lack of empathy and how he only views people as their physical bodies and nothing else. And while I’m at it, even after Urie finds out about Mutsuki’s biological sex in the auction arc, he still keeps referring to him with he/him pronouns, even in his internal thoughts, and Mutsuki’s character description at the start of nearly every volume of the official release of :re includes the sentence ‘Assigned female at birth, he decided to transition after undergoing the Quinx procedure’. Just in case anyone needed a reminder that Mutsuki is indeed trans.

Anyway, back to what I was saying, we also got some scenes in the Rushima arc in the manga with Mutsuki becoming increasingly resigned and despondent about his situation, and we eventually get some flashbacks to his childhood, where we find out that he also had an abusive family that he also ended up murdering at one point. Then he told the CCG that a ghoul killed them all, and that’s how he joined the CCG.

To be blunt, I think the way Ishida originally handled all of this in the manga was pretty awful, especially now that we know exactly where it was all heading. He tried way too hard to try and make Torso look sympathetic with his sob-story flashback, and on the flip side, he really tried way too hard to make it into one big contrived twist about Mutsuki ‘secretly being a huge murderous psycho this whole time’ or whatever. I think at the same time there was also a flashback to the auction arc that, for the first time in the manga, made it clear that he ate some dead investigators to heal his wounds [which the anime made immediately clear as soon as it happened], and I think Ishida tried to spin that as part of the twist of him having been a psycho the whole time, or something like that. It was dumb. Oh, and also, there was some pretty graphic descriptions of how Mutsuki mutilated Torso’s corpse, involving some genital mutilation, which apparently Ishida decided to just make into a running thing with him, since in the manga Mutsuki was the one that fought Takizawa and injured Akira and whatnot before the other Qs arrived on the scene, and he also decided to just randomly mutilate Takizawa’s genitals during their fight. Somehow this isn’t even the end of the list of things I’m mad about with how the manga handled Mutsuki :) This is pretty much just the START of the bullshit :) I cannot reiterate enough how happy I am that the anime seems to be nipping this all in the bud and avoiding the gross [and frankly transphobic] shit entirely.

That’s pretty much the gist of it, but it’s also worth noting that the note things end on with Mutsuki in this arc is very distinctly different between the manga and the anime. In the manga, the Qs don’t find out about what happened between him and Torso at all, and they don’t realize that there’s anything wrong until the next arc. But in the anime, Urie finds Mutsuki in the cave, surrounded by Torso’s various body parts. I really really like this change, and the fact that the anime decided to end this part of this arc with Urie comforting him is really what cements my hope that they’re going to entirely avoid the really awful stuff that goes on in the next arc, which only really happened because Mutsuki’s mental health and overall stability just went careening off a cliff because none of the Qs knew there was anything up with him. So I hope the fact that we’re already seeing Urie comforting Mutsuki over this makes me hope that won’t be how it plays out here. It actually reminds me a fair bit of the really clumsy way the manga tried to have Mutsuki reconcile with the Qs in the final arc. It works WAY better here.

I really think the way they handled Urie finding Mutsuki was really beautiful and touching, especially after the earlier stuff with Urie frantically trying to figure out what had happened to him, and talking about wanting to go home with him. It was just a really nice, sweet way to handle it, and I think it gives Mutsuki far more respect and dignity than the manga did. Similarly to how the anime portrayed him eating some dead investigators as something sad but necessary without trying to cast any moral blame on him for it, that’s how this episode felt too, with how they framed Mutsuki killing Torso. Instead of it being an overblown ‘oooh he’s actually EVIL and PSYCHOTIC and MURDEROUS oooh how spoopy’, we just see the aftermath of it, and Mutsuki is just portrayed as the sad, abused victim he truly is, who just deserves sympathy and comfort for what he’s had to go through. I also got a real sense of smug vindication about how the anime didn’t even bother doing anything with Torso, and they didn’t even come close to trying to give him a tragic backstory to make us feel bad for him. They just killed him off-screen. I really love that. Sure it’d probably seem anti-climactic, especially to anime-only people, but it’s so much better than what the alternative would have been. Torso deserves to go out like the shitty nobody he is.

As for the aforementioned fight scene with the Qs against Takizawa, I really liked how that was done. A lot of it was definitely because, in the manga, this was really one of the starting points of us seeing where Ishida was taking Mutsuki, and how he was trying really really hard to frame him as being antagonistic. Urie accidentally hurting Akira, and Akira herself talking about how she’s aware that trying to protect a ghoul is a serious crime, works a lot better than Mutsuki being the one to attack her, and him telling Akira about what the crime she’s committing is, and making it clear that he’d act against her if she becomes a ghoul sympathizer.

They also handled the stuff with Amon pretty nicely. I still feel like his entire role in :re has always been one big question mark for me and basically everyone else in the fandom, but I’ve at least always liked his line from this scene about the importance of always thinking about whether or not you’re doing the right thing.

I’m also really warming up to how the anime is just showing the new three Qs members in action before any proper, dedicated introductions. It works pretty nicely, in my mind.

I still wish they could have actually been a bit less faithful with how they adapted the stuff with Kanou, and added some stuff to it, but oh well. I at least got a bit of a kick out of the stuff with Roma.

As I mentioned, they really cut down on the remaining stuff they had with the Cochlea arc, but I quite liked how they handled everything with Arima’s death. For one thing, it was nice to see them make the Garden feel a bit more tangible and ‘real’, in a sense, than the manga did. I always had a tough time visualizing it in my head while reading the manga since we only saw bits and pieces of it. I also liked how they associated the field of white flowers with it, but I can’t remember if that was already in the manga. It might have just been more clear in the anime since it’s in colour.

I imagine some people are gonna be REAL mad that they cut out the whole dramatic arc-ending scene of Kaneki killing some CCG people while monologuing about how he’s now the new One-Eyed King, but I liked it. I like how the anime really committed to ending this episode on a bittersweet note. I’ve also always thought that the whole ‘re’ pun with that scene in the manga was always a bit more dumb than other people think it was.

I’m not entirely sure how I feel about how the anime didn’t outright show the flashbacks to Arima meeting Eto and deciding to start working with her, but they at least make it clear enough that that’s what happened. At the very least, adding in some bombshells like that probably would have made the pacing of this episode feel a lot more wonky.

And with that, we’re now going to get into the Goat arc! This is gonna be where things get interesting. I think it’s probably going to be about five episodes long, but it’s also four volumes long in the manga, so we’ll see how it goes. The main thing is that there’s a WHOLE lot of stuff in this arc that can easily be cut to save time. 

It’s honestly hard to tell for the most part how exactly they’re gonna handle this arc, but at the very least, as I’ve said, it’s very clear that they’re going to remove or at least heavily change/condense the stuff that goes down with Mutsuki, which would save a fair bit of time. This would also presumably affect the final arc, and remove a good few chapters of content from that as well.

My memory on the exact details of this arc are kinda fuzzy since I haven’t gone back to read it ever since I first read it as it came out, but going by the preview stuff for the next episode, it also looks like they might be cutting out the really awkward mini-arc from the manga where Kaneki and co had to go raid one of Kanou’s labs to get medicine for Akira and then they find Amon there and fight him and then take him back to their base. I honestly still have NO goddamn clue what the fuck Amon was doing there. It looks like in the anime he’s just going to casually show up and be part of Goat almost immediately, which feels much more natural.

It also looks like we’re getting the whole sequence where Touka gets Akira and Hinami to reconcile their differences and make amends with each other. I’ve always thought that scene was a bit awkward, but I get what Ishida was going for with it, and I respect it. So I’m happy with the anime keeping it. At the very least, I think it does a nice job of fleshing out Touka a little bit more, which is always nice, and it’s a very necessary part of Akira’s development.

I wonder if the next episode will also include her and Amon hooking up, or if that’ll happen later in the arc. I honestly don’t remember when exactly in the manga it happened, so I’m just guessing.

I was kinda hoping that they’d at least slightly change up the formation of Goat, since the way Ishida portrayed Kaneki at the start of this arc was really weird, and didn’t last long. Hopefully it’ll feel a bit less awkward in the anime.

Since we’re getting closer and closer to the moment of truth on this one, I suppose I should reiterate at least some of my feelings about Touka and Kaneki’s relationship, and how it might be handled in the anime. I have a LOT of feelings about it, but I’ll save some of it for later. [fake edit: ok I ended up talking more about this than I intended, but whatever, lol]

Just to get right to the point, I still think it’s entirely possible that they just won’t get together at all in the anime. I’m not exactly betting on it, but still. It still just sticks out to me a lot that they’ve made a lot of subtle changes to their scenes together in the anime thus far that build up to paint a very different image of their relationship.

One of the big things is how the insert song they made for the cafe scene in episode 2 of :re season 1 is pretty explicitly about Touka remembering her crush on Kaneki, and coming to terms with the need for her to let go of it and move on with her life. I mean, it literally ends with ‘Although I’ve found you, I know this meeting will not last. I have to let go. Continue finding your own way, though I will miss you. It’s time to wake from this dream’, after how the chorus and whatnot is her talking about how she’d dreamed that one day he’d be with her again like nothing ever happened and he never left her. The song is pretty clearly all about her accepting that things aren’t just going to magically go back to how they used to be between them, and that she needs to move on with her life, and let him move on with his. It’s not definitive proof of anything, but it’d make it pretty awkward all on it’s own if they do actually just, y’know, hook up in the anime as if he never left her in the first place. [Remember when I mentioned before how the manga brought Koma and Irimi back to really awkwardly force this feeling of the Anteiku gang getting back together like nothing ever happened? Yeah].

It’s also worth noting that even after that, the anime cut out and changed some minor things. For example, they removed a scene where Touka talks to Tsukiyama about the whole Kaneki situation, and she said that she thinks the :re cafe can be a place for him to return to if he gets his memories back. They also changed up the scene where Uta visited her cafe a bit by having Kaneki also visit at the same time. Which, ironically, means that the anime has him and Touka meeting face to face at least marginally more often than they did in the manga, but I think that scene actually served to further hammer in the idea that they’ve moved on from each other. Touka continued treating him like any other customer, and her line to Uta about how she’s ‘going to keep doing what she’s already decided on’ certainly gains a different sort of tone when taken along with the various things the anime has cut or added or changed, that I just talked about. It comes across more like a reminder to the audience that she’s committed to moving on from him.

And on the flip side, Kaneki didn’t really react to her at all in that scene, from what I remember, and in fact seemed to just be preoccupied with his lingering nostalgia about Anteiku in general, which was shown really nicely in the [also anime-original] scene of him having a bit of a flashback to Yoshimura and Anteiku itself. It’s also worth noting that because of this whole change, they removed the stuff with how, in the manga, Kaneki was at home while Uta visited Touka, and he was actually wondering to himself if Touka might be out on a date with someone. So it’s certainly interesting that they replaced one of the more blatant ‘he has a crush on her’ scenes with him outright visiting her cafe and not having any real reaction to seeing her again, and caring more about Anteiku in general.

It’s also worth pointing out that, even if they kept the little exchange between them earlier in the Cochlea arc 1:1 with the manga, it comes across even more as a sign of how awkward and stiff their relationship it than it already did in the manga. It’s always stood out to me a lot, even in the manga, that meeting Touka again face to face and her talking to him did absolutely nothing to sway him from his whole suicidal plan, whereas him just having a chat with a hallucination of Hide caused him to break down into tears and completely reevaluate how he values his own life. I just wanna point that out, lol.

So I’m honestly not sure how the anime will handle things with them. In general, I think the pacing of their relationship would be even more rushed than it was in the manga, at least if they keep all of their big moments. Having all of the stuff that happened with them in the manga take place over like one or two episodes of the anime would be, uh . . . really awkward, to say the least. But it’d also obviously disappoint everyone if they cut a lot of it out.

It’s also hard to tell exactly how they’d even execute some parts of it, particularly since the main reason they ended up having sex in the manga was because of the whole deal with Mutsuki attacking them and burning down the cafe, but since it looks like that sort of thing probably won’t happen in the anime at this point with how they’re handling him, I dunno how they’d set it up.

But to be completely honest, if they can at least keep handling Mutsuki well, I would actually be largely OK with the anime still having Kaneki and Touka hook up. I’ll probably talk in more depth about it later, but a big reason why I disliked it so much in the manga was just because it happened at the exact same time that Ishida decided to throw Mutsuki under a thousand buses in a row, and it was just miserable to sit through.

So yeah that’s around about it for this episode. I’m cautiously optimistic to see how they handle the rest of the season. At the very least, it looks like the next episode will be much more relaxed and slow and character-focused than the last few, so that’ll be nice.

[girlsbtrs]

My Ladybird Moment (Significant Songs in Life)

Written by Mary Ragheb. Graphic by James N. Grey. 

(First of all I wanna give the credit for this title to Pablo, that was all their idea and honestly it works perfectly.)

I know I’m not alone when I say that music has carried me through my whole life - whether that was me singing along with the Jonas Brothers in my best friend’s bedroom in elementary school or staring up at the ceiling blasting My Chemical Romance through my headphones in true emo-kid fashion. But I have always had a weird sensitivity to sound. It could be the ADHD talking but hear me out. Songs for me are ultimately almost always attached to some specific memory or feeling, so much so that I don’t think there’s an album in existence that I haven’t cried to at least once. 

So I guess this is my ladybird moment/a playlist of my life???? 

Let’s start with artists and then we’ll get into songs. This is important because I’m starting with literal baby steps here. 

Firstly, there’s Umm Kulthum, one of the most decorated and well-known Egyptian singers ever. I spent much of my childhood listening to her sing on cassettes that my parents brought back from Egypt. Obviously I didn’t know how popular she was when I was a child, but even when I catch my dad listening to her in his little home office, I feel a sense of innocent comfort - almost like when my mom used to wrap a blanket around me on our yearly road trips to New Jersey. 

Second of all, I have to give an honorable mention to both the Jonas Brothers and One Direction. I mentioned the JoBros earlier, and I know I’m not alone in how much their music brought us joy as kids. My family couldn’t afford to get us iPods, so I spent a lot of time at friends’ houses listening to them on their older sisters’ CD players or flip phones. You remember those swivel-y ones that had a trackpad like an iPod? Yeah those. (Also don’t talk to me if your favorite brother wasn’t Joe. I will die on this hill.) Now One Direction. I wish I was kidding when I say that my first concert was seeing them OPEN for Big Time Rush in 2011. I think that’s the biggest flex I hold to this day. While I cringe at old pictures of me clad in clothes with the British flag all over them, they were honestly my introduction to fandom culture. 

Third, let's get into emo baby. I started high school in a whole new country, which to say the least was a difficult adjustment. Kids can be cruel and that’s true no matter where you are, but by 13 and after being the new kid 4 times up to that point; you kinda become a target. And as cliche as it is, it’s what drove me to fall down a hole of Mayday Parade, Paramore and (drum roll please) - yep, you guessed it, All Time Low. Everyone who knows me knows that I love this band with my whole being. Now, there are a slew of reasons as to why. Obviously Therapy is one of them because my god I still cannot listen to that song without crying. Don’t Panic also came out when me and my family flew back to Boston after living abroad for a year. I remember driving through our old neighborhood while Outlines blasted through my headphones - ironically saying “I’m half remembered halfway across the world, twice removed from my second home.” But above all the intricate stories and lyrics that Alex has written over the years, ultimately they are the reason I met one of my best friends. That seems to be a common theme with me. I’ve taken it as the universe telling me to never stop listening to music. Like, ever. 

Finally, let’s all get ready to give the greatest round of applause for my college introduction into K-Pop. To be honest, I blame Halsey for this. I have loved her since I heard Room 93 (and realized I was not straight, thanks Ashley), and I can pretty much recite every album she has front to back. So when I saw them work with BTS I figured, “okay, I guess I can get on board with this.” The best way I can describe it is that Simpsons meme where the kid goes “haha I’m in danger.” K-Pop fans have this theory that your “comfort group” comes to you when you’re ready and I don’t know how they hit the nail on the head but they’re not wrong. I didn’t have an ideal college experience whatsoever, I had a lot of trouble making friends because I honestly didn’t talk to anyone (my own fault, I know). And yet somehow when I started listening to BTS, I made a whole community of friends on the internet and ended up meeting two of my best friends who just happened to walk into my job. If anyone has an existential explanation for all this please let me know before I go ask Namjoon myself. 

Okay now that we’ve finished that, let’s get into songs. These are in no particular order, but I guess a common theme that I can attribute to them is power. Not to sound like a tyrant or anything; power to me comes in all forms. The power of love, strength, dominance, and happiness. 

Is There Somewhere by Halsey (Room 93)

When I say I feel like I’ve grown up alongside Halsey, I’m not kidding. Not only was this song the prelude to my coming out, but seeing her artistry develop since 2015 has made me feel like a greater part of something. Too cheesy? Ok moving on. 

Jasey Rae by All Time Low (Put Up or Shut Up)

This isn’t going to be the only All Time Low song on this list for sure, but it is one of my absolute favorites. If the last chance I got to hear it live was at the 10 year So Wrong It’s Right Anniversary in 2017, then I can die content. I maintain that All Time Low don’t have a bad song in their discography, but Put Up or Shut Up is such a big comfort album for me that I still get the same tingles that I felt when I listened to it at 15. 

Don’t Lean on Me by The Amity Affliction (Let the Ocean Take Me)

The Amity Affliction is another one of those bands that marks a really crucial point in my life when I had to reconcile with my mental health. Not to get super emo or anything, but having every single emotion and painful feeling laid out (or screamed out, thank you Joel) soothes the numbness that I had accepted for my pain. Honestly, you could put this song on and I would still scream “LET THE OCEAN TAKE ME” at the top of my lungs like I did at Warped Tour in 2018. 

Going to Hell by The Pretty Reckless (Going to Hell)

I’m sure having The Pretty Reckless on this list surprises absolutely noone, but I really think that this album threw me into full blown feminist rage. I have never been one to dilute my feminism to make men more comfortable, but after seeing Taylor Momsen clad in leather singing in front of a band of all guys and commanding all the attention in the room (not to mention her VOICE) - I just wanted to be as badass and confident as her. 

Breed by Nirvana (Nevermind)

Is anyone surprised that Nirvana also made the list? Another moment of feminist rage. Have you ever had a guy interrogate you about a band or show or literally anything that non-men enjoy because he thinks there is no way you could possibly REALLY enjoy it? Yeah, I got that a lot in high school. And still now as a grown ass woman but that’s not the point here. I watched a lot of music documentaries during my last two years of high school, mainly about the 80’s and 90’s and the evolution of grunge, hence fueling my love for documentaries even more. And as always, girls cannot seem to like anything without being scrutinized for it so my interest in Nirvana was met with a lot of “yeah but you don’t actually listen to them right?” So it seemed appropriate for my response to that to be to latch onto a song that literally starts with “I don’t care, I don’t care, I don’t care.”

Brick by Boring Brick by Paramore (Brand New Eyes)

Paramore also comes as no surprise here since I profess my love for miss Hayley on a daily basis. I could have picked any song from Paramore’s discography; they are the ultimate encompassment of comfort and happiness. But Brick by Boring Brick made (and still does make) me feel like running through a field in the rain wearing a torn up down and screaming at the top of my lungs. 

Dear Maria, Count Me In by All Time Low (So Wrong, It’s Right)

Ah yes, the song that shoots serotonin straight through my veins. The first time I ever saw All Time Low, I was lucky enough to be able to photograph them. And even with a camera strapped to my side, I did not hesitate to jump up and crowdsurf the second the show was coming to an end. I’ve flown to Florida, California, Arizona, and New Jersey and every single time Dear Maria comes on something just takes over the crowd. It’s one of the few times I have seriously felt like family around a bunch of complete strangers. Even when I lost my earring, got dropped straight on my back and passed around the same water bottle across like 50 people. (pre-COVID huh?) I think my favorite Dear Maria memory had to be the last All Time Low concert I went to in December 2020. I was crowdsurfing at the same time another girl got thrown up, and to make sure we didn’t crash into each other we instinctively reached for each other and held hands until we were both over the barricade. I don’t think any moment in live music has felt more precious to me than that. (Also the fact that everyone pointed out that it sounds like an anime intro just makes it even more fitting.)

Magic Shop by BTS (Love Yourself: Answer)

When I say that BTS inject love into their music, I mean this song in particular. After Map of the Soul: Persona came out in 2019, I spent the following weeks listening to their entire discography all the way back to 2013. As soon as Magic Shop came on, I burst into tears before I even got a chance to read the translation (I cried more after I read the translation too.) BTS have perfected the concept of a comfort song and Magic Shop is the perfect example of it. It feels as if for 4 minutes and 36 seconds, you are safe. Honestly though, I could probably throw every single BTS song into this list. They have brought me peace, reassurance, friendships and genuine happiness during a time that I least expected, but needed it the most. 

[aion-rsa]

WandaVision: What Wanda’s Kids Mean for the Future of the Marvel Cinematic Universe

https://ift.tt/3sLardk

This article contains WANDAVISION Episode 3 spoilers, and potential spoilers for future episodes, the wider MCU, and Marvel Comics.

I don’t think I’m overstepping when I say that WandaVision is a weird show. It’s intentionally cryptic and there’s a lot going on. It focuses on two characters who have been in several Marvel movies but never truly got the spotlight. Even their romantic relationship in those movies has come off as forced to viewers at times. For comic fans, it’s an easier pill to swallow because it’s something familiar from the comics.

In the comics, the story of Vision and Scarlet Witch was that of two heroes with complicated backstories who found each other, fell in love, and lived happily ever after…until realizing that the point of serialized comics is to keep going and going. Soon their happily ever after became a horror story that destroyed their spirits and that damage lingers to this day.

Scarlet Witch’s history of triumph turning to torment is alive and well in WandaVision episode 3 as she goes through a full-on pregnancy in merely a day. The concept of Wanda having kids with Vision comes from the comics, and it’s one of the big red flags (scarlet flags?) in their immediate future. While things might end up all right down the line with little Billy and Tommy, we’re about see some dark stuff go down with their parents.

Even getting past the fact that Vision should absolutely be dead and the pregnancy only took about 24 hours, Wanda’s pregnancy should be raising questions due to Vision’s general biology. Vision may be capable of all kinds of feats, but he’s not really a human being and shouldn’t be able to put a bun in the oven. He’s just a pile of synthetic flesh grafted onto vibranium with an Infinity Stone on his forehead and the copied personality of a dead butler.

In the comics, Vision’s origins were just as convoluted. Also a “synthezoid,” the comics version of Vision was a special kind of high tech that was so advanced that he was nearly human in design. Mentally and emotionally, he was human enough, although his brain was copied from the personality of Wonder Man (a character whose only MCU appearance is movie posters in a Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2 deleted scene). He truly loved Wanda and was capable of performing under the covers, but impregnating her? That was an awful lot to ask us to buy.

Scarlet Witch’s mutant powers allow her to alter probability, so maybe she could take a longshot like Vision knocking her up and make it work. While they were working on that, they had a little adventure where they were kidnapped by the magical villain group the Salem Seven. During the climax of the battle, Scarlet Witch absorbed a bunch of magic and the ghost of Agatha Harkness (Wanda’s mentor in magic) told her to harness it and use it however she saw fit. Wouldn’t you know it, in the next issue, she was pregnant!

Sorry if that last paragraph was a lot.

Billy and Tommy

Wanda would give birth to twins, Thomas and William. She and Vision would join the West Coast Avengers and things would go to shit. In one storyline, Vision would not only have his entire personality erased, but he’d be dismantled and autopsied to show that he was more mechanical than originally thought. It was writer Jim Starlin’s way of saying, “This is dumb. He absolutely cannot father children. Stop it.”

There was weird stuff going on with the twins too. When Wanda wasn’t around, her kids would just cease to exist. It wasn’t them fiddling with magic. It was the idea that they weren’t truly real and they were part of Wanda’s consciousness. Soon she discovered the truth about Billy and Tommy.

That truth is…um…really, really complicated. There’s stuff involving Mephisto and Franklin Richards and Master Pandemonium, who has the power of baby hands. And not the kind of baby hands that Donald Trump and Teen Titans Go Robin have. I mean that literal babies Billy and Tommy became his hands. It’s wacky.

Wanda did not take this news well and briefly turned villain because of it. It was a whole mess that involved her sexually assaulting Wonder Man. They ended up mindwiping Wanda of the whole incident, including her having kids to begin with. Ah, mindwiping. The superhero trope that never, ever ends well over time. Just ask Dr. Light and Batman.

Vision and Wanda returned to their usual soap opera filler stuff until Brian Michael Bendis decided that he wanted to freshen up the Avengers as a concept. In the big storyline Avengers: Disassembled, Scarlet Witch regained her memories, went a little nutty, and decided to have a whole bunch of stuff go wrong at once by abusing her powers against her so-called teammates. I’m talking alien invasions, She-Hulk losing control of her rage, Ultron attacks, exploding zombies, Tony Stark having a drunken rant at the UN, etc. She was stopped in a very anticlimactic fashion and the Avengers just decided that they were done being a thing.

Wiccan and Speed

A new Avengers team (now with mainstream appeal!) would show up months later and in the meantime, a group of teenagers tried to pick up the slack themselves. A younger version of the time-traveling villain Kang the Conqueror came to the present under the name Iron Lad and put together a team of heroes called the Young Avengers. One of these heroes was Wiccan, a boy named Billy with magical powers and reality warping, which were awakened after a mysterious meeting with Scarlet Witch.

At one point, he came across a troubled teen with speedster powers named Tommy who, despite having different parents, looked exactly like Billy but with white hair (white hair and super speed being part of Wanda’s brother Pietro’s whole deal). Iron Lad explained that not only were the two twins, but they were Wanda’s twins.

Read more

Movies

WandaVision Explained: Who is Geraldine?

By Jim Dandy

TV

Marvel’s WandaVision Episode 3: MCU Easter Eggs and Reference Guide

By Mike Cecchini and 2 others

Yes, it seems that although the babies existed under questionable circumstances, they did actually have souls and those souls found other ways to live on. We don’t actually know the full story of how the connection works. Did the souls overtake existing children? Did the souls go back in time a few years to be reborn?

While unexplained, Billy and Tommy live on as the heroes Wiccan and Speed. After House of M, Marvel started to back away from Scarlet Witch being a villain and eased her back into heroism, including having her connect with her sort-of-children.

Now, we already know that the parenthood in WandaVision is going to end very, very badly for the mother and father. Ignoring Wanda’s desperate control over reality, there’s seemingly some kind of mysterious, cult-like reason for the twins to be born. Yes, there will indeed be tragedy.

On the other hand, Billy and Tommy may see the light at the end of the tunnel. The Marvel Cinematic Universe is not only lining up some torch passing, but we’re seeing various setups for the Young Avengers to take form.

We already have a teen version of Cassie Lang. The Hawkeye series is going to be about Kate Bishop taking up the mantle. The third Ant-Man and the Wasp movie will introduce Kang the Conqueror, which could in turn lead to his younger self appearing. Eventual team member Miss America is supposed to be in Dr. Strange in the Multiverse of Madness. There are even rumors and theories that Patriot will be appearing in some form in Falcon and the Winter Soldier.

cnx.cmd.push(function() { cnx({ playerId: "106e33c0-3911-473c-b599-b1426db57530", }).render("0270c398a82f44f49c23c16122516796"); });

Billy and Tommy were born fast and so they might be crime-fighting teenagers sooner than we realize.

The post WandaVision: What Wanda’s Kids Mean for the Future of the Marvel Cinematic Universe appeared first on Den of Geek.

from Den of Geek https://ift.tt/2Mh2z2H

[deathnoting]

this is an extended special feature on how i’m doing! which is ??? complicated? i’m Going Through it rn. (cut for length/tmi. don’t read if you don’t want to know about my sexual/identity crisis?)

i’m technically only a temp at my great new job, and i only have it until january 5th, at which point i’ll probably have an opportunity to get a job somewhere else in the company, but it’s not too likely to be at my current location, which is the most desired one to work at

that’s not a huge tragedy, but it’s unfortunate bc 1) i live closest to this location (it’s only a mile’s walk from my house, if i worked at the downtown location i’d have to take the bus), 2) it genuinely is such a nice place to work and the perfect job for me and i’ll miss it/my coworkers and 3) i’ll miss one of my coworkers in particular

which is where the real trouble comes into play. i’ve got this medium to large sized crush on one of my coworkers which is complicated bc 1) i’m in a relationship (although i’m very transparent with my partner about what i want and i’m not & wouldn’t do anything underhanded or dishonest), and 2) my crush is a 46 year old divorced man with a kid. so!

it’s totally inconsistent with my self-perception! i can’t tell if i’m twisting good-hearted fatherly platonic banter into something romantic/sexual and if so: why brain? and if i’m not and this 46 year old man is kinda into me then theoretically i should hate that & find it worrying but that is not what i’m doing. my stomach flutters when i see him! we vibe so well! there’s a sense of coy admiration between us! i want him to like me but i also want him to feel guilty about liking me, or else it’s icky? i get especially excited about going to work on days that he’s there?

look i know this isn’t social justice-y of me. on the other hand i also think that determining what sexual feelings are appropriately feminist is a bullshit idea. women’s sexuality should not be held to rigorous moral standards. i’m a consenting adult & i should be able to feel whatever i want towards another adult without feeling guilty for it. on the other hand, i innately distrust older men who are interested in young women. basically if he doesn’t like me then i’m really fucking into him, and if he does like me i’ll feel validated but less into him?

& if you thought all that was bad, i’ve got a shitload more that’s worse!

this man i’ve got a crush on also reminds me almost excessively of one of the only other men (not just adult men but like? male bodied or identifying people of any age) that i’ve ever had any romantic feelings for. they almost have the same first name! (to make things simple i’ll give them aliases that correspond. current crush will be j and past crush will be jp) they’re roughly the same age! (jp was in his late 30′s, is probably like 40 now?) they’re both visual artists! they’re both weirdly magnanimous! i weirdly vibe(/d) with both of the same damn way!

and the biggest problem is that now i can’t stop fucking thinking about jp and analyzing my relationship to him, even though i haven’t seen him in about 2 1/2 years and haven’t texted him in close to a year until! yesterday! when i did text him! & at first i was just making really vapid small talk and then i called my ex girlfriend! yeah my ex girlfriend! and talked to her about it because she knows jp & knows my sexuality & identity issues and she was so cool about it and? has dealt with her mental health issues in such a way that she’s become a much more compassionate person and i had possibly the first conversation with her since i’ve ever known her (including when we were dating) where i felt like she was truly listening to and respecting me! which was weird and great! but also! after getting off the phone with her feeling a little more understood and less guilty, i texted jp a very honest: “look i’m digging through my unresolved romantic feelings toward you bc of this old dude i have a crush on who reminds me of you and sorry to be blunt and melodramatic but that’s happening!” type text

he told me he couldn’t unpack something that complex through text and to call him if i wanted to talk about it, bc he’s fucking 40! & texted him back in the vein of “whoa buddy i’m not that brave & the physical anxiety symptoms i’m giving myself even typing this out are too much to handle. there’s no way i’m calling you! hopefully we can have a conversation about this at some point in the future before one of us dies but i’ve got to work up to it!”

and if you think that’s bad!!!!! you don’t know anything bc you don’t know what my relationship/history with this dude was. he was the type of man (unlike my current crush, j, who, as far as i know, is universally liked and respected as a great and utterly non-creepy person) who got weird and creepy crushes on girls half his age and idealized them to the point where he made himself miserable mooning over his concept of a person who didn’t exist. you could easily call him a creep. i knew lots of people who thought he was a creep. i also knew lots of people who thought he was exceptionally kind and utterly non-dangerous (including one of the biggest rl sjws i’ve ever met - i say that as a compliment - who kept a list of creepy men in the city we lived in & who was roommates with jp and considered him the best roommate she ever had.) i don’t think either of these ideas line up with my view of him, which is that he was fucked up and strange and sad and creepy, but also generous and people-pleasing to a fault. i cannot list the number of kindnesses he did me without ever asking for anything in return. i know him to have had sex with someone he did not want to have sex with just to avoid making that person uncomfortable. he was morose and kind of pretentious fuckboy but also, he was my best friend in a city where i was far away from my home with no family and friends, without any real support system, who hung out with me all the time and drove me around and pretty much held me together through an awful break up and asked for nothing in return. i know that’s what you might expect out of a decent person, but not what you’d expect out of a creep. so which was he? i don’t know!

tbc because i want to write all this out but i’m losing steam & i have to go to work soon

this is literally helping me bc it’s like a diary entry

i have a lot more to say but i’ll say it later

[trbl-will-find-me]

Darkness on the Edge of Town

Hello everyone! Welcome to life post-GRE for me. If you’ve left me prompts, I have not forgotten! Just wanted to get this out for Friday the 13th.

There is one lesson every kid knows that every adult has forgotten: here there be monsters.

Sally + Central. Pre- EEAE.

John Bradford has learned not to trust in human decency, that it is a concept wholly dependent upon the existence of civilization and its social contract, a concept that crumbles in the face of the impetus to survive.

So, no, literal white picket fences do not instill in him a sense of confidence.

There is a storm on the horizon, the low rumble of thunder filling the air with the promise of rain. The breeze ruffles the leaves of the trees and something stirs on the edge of the wind.

“It’s gonna be bad,” Sally says. “Can feel it in the air.”

“It’s the south in the summer, Magpie. This is what all storms are like.”

She shakes her head. “This feels different.”

He runs a hand through his hair. “You mean trouble.”

She nods. “Think so. Just a hunch.”

He casts a glance down the tree lined street. Officially, the town shouldn’t exist. They are still at least a day’s tree from the nearest haven, and several more outside of ADVENT territory. Still, he can’t dent the obvious signs of non-alien life.

Another roll of thunder sounds in the distance and he feels it in his chest. Sally fidgets with her braid, eyes fixed on the building clouds.

The odds of being struck by lightning are 1 in 3,000, he tells himself. But then again, the odds of losing the woman you love to alien invaders and being made to watch as everything you’ve ever worked for or loved is reduced to rubble are a hell of a lot lower and those events came to pass all the same.

Perhaps testing their luck is not the best idea.

Sally shifts from foot to foot, her eyes darting from heaven to earth and back again. Her hands fidget with the straps on her pack, in search of something to hold.

“I don’t like either of our choices here,” he says.

“How bad could it be? We made it past an ADVENT checkpoint last month. This doesn’t seem half as dangerous.”

“Houses, lights, electricity: this doesn’t seem odd to you?”

She shrugs. “I’ve got two dead people’s memories in my head. I’ve got a pretty forgiving definition of that word.”

He sighs. “Stay close.”

They’ve made it a few blocks into the town when they first notice the posters, faces staring out at them in silent accusation, wrapped around wooden telephone poles.

They’re new, maybe a few weeks to a few months old at most, written by hand and run off on a copy machine. They look like something out of the world that was, the world before the aliens, and a knot forms in his stomach. There are three or four different posters, each in its own distinct hand, with its own distinct face. An uncle, two children, a godmother, and a nephew are all among the lost.

The hair on the back of his neck stands on end as another, more insistent rumble passes through them.

“This a better fit with your definition of odd?”

She hugs her arms to her chest. “It’s definitely weird, but I don’t think it’s ADVENT. We’re easily 300 miles from the closest city center.”

“That’s what worries me.”

“It’s not gonna matter if we get caught outside when this storm breaks.”

A gust of wind picks up behind them,  blowing the stray hairs from Sally’s braid in front of her face.

He tries to think of something glib, something funny. There’s no way she hasn’t picked up on his anxiety, on his concerns about this place. He wants to find something, anything, to reassure her, to reassure himself.

Lightning splits the sky ahead of them, and rain begins to fall. Maybe he should have taken the 1 in 3,000 odds.

–

They push further into town and the missing posters grow more abundant. They wallpaper poles, fences, front doors, and mailboxes. They stick out from storm doors. They flap in the breeze.

She does not see any people. More importantly, she does not feel any people.

She does not have her mother’s skill with the gift, and certainly not her father’s. She cannot wield it as a weapon, cannot wrap herself in it as a shield. How could she, when she has spent so much of her life learning to contain it.  But she can listen. She can sense.

There is nothing here.

She holds to that, focuses on it.

Something flickers at the edge of her vision, and when she turns her head, the once immaculately manicured lawn of the house is now overgrown, the lights are off, and the shudders hang ajar.

She stops dead in her tracks and turns, surveying the rest of the street. The lamp poles still shown brightly down, but they now illuminate decrepit ruins and creeping decay.

Thunder booms overhead, the telltale sign of the storm’s approach.

“Central,” she says, voice beginning to shake. “Tell me you’re seeing this.”

“Seeing what?”

“This.”

“This is what towns used to be like.”

“You’re not seeing what these houses look like?”

“Magpie, I grew up on a street that didn’t look much different.”

“Shudders falling down? Doors ajar? Cracking sidewalks?”

He wrinkles his brow. “The hell are you talking about?”

“You don’t see it?”

Her heart begins to beat a little faster. She can feel something prod at her mind, and she tries to quiet her thoughts. She does not want to lose whatever small advantage she has.

“What?” “That,” she says, wrapping her hand around his forearm. “All of this.”

He blinks once, twice, and she can feel a slow wave of confusion emanating from him. “The hell?”

“You see it now, right?”

“Yeah, Magpie. I see it.”

The drizzle begins to gain strength.

“I don’t … I don’t think we should be here.”

“Until this storm passes, we don’t have much choice.”

“We could take our chances.”

“You and I have sucker’s luck. We’d both get hit.”

“Yeah, but this smacks of psionic bullshit,” she says. “And that scares me a lot more. Getting struck by lightning is one and done.”

“Very comforting.”

She shakes her head. “I’ll take a quick death over a slow one any day.”

“The fact that you’ve thought about that …”

“Oh, come on,” she says, quirking an eyebrow. “No way you haven’t.”

“I’m older.”

“And I’m pragmatic.”

Thunder cracks above them.

Sally feels something beginning to pull at her again, the same unknown force from earlier. She sees the world around her begin to distort again, melting back into the same façade of suburban perfection, and responds with a hearty mental shove. The street snaps back into sharp focus around her, and she feels the hair on the back of her neck begins to rise.

“Something’s here,” she says. “I don’t know what, and I don’t know who. But it’s not ADVENT.”

The rainfall graduates to a downpour, sticking her braid to her neck and threatening to soak through the outer lining of her pack. Every instinct she has tells her to get out, to leave while they still can.

“Can’t go on that long. We’ll let it pass and get back on the road.”

She really wishes she were strong enough to drag him out.

They push further towards the town square. Missing posters litter the ground, the sidewalks, the street. There are so many, more than she will ever be able to count. It doesn’t seem possible for so many people to have disappeared from one town. On the green, the gazebo’s roof has caved in, exposing rotted boards and disintegrating shingles.

“Why is this part of town okay?” He asks.

“You’ve got a funny definition of okay. Look at the gazebo.”

“So, it needs a new paint job.”

“And a new roof?”

“It’s fine.”

“It’s collapsed.”

“What are you talking about?”

“There!” She gestures.

“I don’t know what you’re —“

From the corner of her eye, she sees something advance.

“Central,” she says, cutting him off. “I’d love to have this conversation with you, but we have to get out of here.”

“In this? We’ll be walking into flooding.”

“Then let’s at least get out of the open, alright?”

“Agreed.”

–

He knows something is wrong. He doesn’t know what, but something is amiss. In the almost three years he has traveled with her, he has learned that Sally doesn’t spook without reason.

Yes, the town is empty, and that’s unsettling. The fact that everything looks as if it’s been perfectly preserved, left aside by a populace that’s collectively left for dinner, does, indeed, add another level of alarm. And yes, there are a lot of missing persons posters, but for god’s sake, it’s been fifteen years and he’s altogether too used to the sight of them to think twice.

But Sally? He can’t explain Sally. He can’t explain why her hand rests on the revolver at her side, readying it for a fight.

They’ve bunkered down in one of the houses off the green, their packs left by the door. Normally, she’d settle down; four solid walls and a roof tend to ease both of their minds.

Not today, though.

Outside, lighting splits a tree and she jumps. “Fils de pute,” she mutters.

“Language, Magpie.”

“You swear,” she retorts, wrapping her arms around herself.

“I’m older.”

“I might not get that chance.”

He glowers at her. “Don’t even joke.”

“Who’s joking?” She asks, her eyes darting around the room.

“Alright, I give up. What’s going on?”

“There’s something here,” she says, voice barely above a whisper. “And it’s getting closer.”

“ADVENT?”

She shakes her head. “Worse.”

“Worse? You wanna elaborate?”

“You don’t see this place for what it is.”

“Magpie —“

Skinny fingers wrap around the exposed skin between his sleeve and his glove, flesh and bone and the metal of mismatched rings pressed against his wrist. His vision warps and distorts, as buildings stretch and squash like a fun house mirror, then snap back into shape. Something moves near the window behind Sally.

“See?” She asks, a frantic edge to her voice.

“How’d you do that?”

“That’s … it’s … something else is here.”

The lights flicker and her grip tightens. The world warps again and he can almost make out the gazebo, now ruined, before the perfect, empty vision snaps back into place.

Outside, the rain runs down the street in small rivers.

His head spins and he squeezes his eyes shut. He can feel a headache coming on, not a migraine and not a hangover and not withdrawal, but something else entirely.

“No, no, no, no, no,” someone says and he’s pretty sure that someone is Sally. Pretty sure, but by no means certain. The world feels wrong, slow and sepia, and there’s a nausea settling in his stomach. He knows he should get up, should find out who’s upset and what’s wrong and.

No. No no no. This is wrong. He knows this is wrong. 1 in 3,000 odds and they should have taken them. Quick death beats a slow one. The door bangs and he wants to yell, wants to remind her We live in a house, not a barn, Magpie.

A house. A house. What house? Low slung brick in the Kansas sun, sunflowers off the back porch. Bright brick and brighter shudders, a house with history, a house with ghosts, her ghost, her ghost on the floorboards, the floorboards that have probably rotted, could have, should have, don’t die wondering, her voice in his ear.

Magpie. Magpie. Little bird, little girl, gone. All gone. Young and small and vulnerable and shouldn’t have let her go, promises to keep, promises that can’t be kept, never could be. Little girl, flash of blue, make it quick for her, come for you next.

This is always how it ends. Can’t protect one; can’t protect the other. One dead and the other soon to follow, a whole army of ghosts to follow you down. Can’t fight, can’t win, surrender now, make it quick for her if you —

Not real, another voice comes in. Not real, not real, not real.

He can’t think, not well enough to place it, but it’s familiar. Not her, and not Steph, but there’s someone he’s forgetting. Someone who he can almost think of, whose name is on the tip of his tongue. Red hair and a flash of blue and.

Sally.

–

Not real, not real, not real. She holds to the thought, clings to it. It is now as much her weapon as the gun in her hands, as the knife in her boot.

Not real, not real, not real.

There are things she knows. Her name is Sally Élise Royston. She used to answer to Punch. She still answers to Magpie.

Not real, not real, not real.

Her parents are dead. They were XCOM operatives, and they both gave their lives in an attempt to stop the aliens.

You don’t know that Papa is dead, some other voice, one not quite her own, offers. You never got —

Not. Real. Not. Real. Not. Real.

Her name is Sally Élise Royston. Her parents are former XCOM operatives. They are dead. She is alive.  She is here and whole and alive and she needs to get out.

Not real, not real, not real.

She needs to get out and she needs to get him out because he is the last, closest thing she has to family and she will be damned if she loses him too.

Rain pelts down on her, soaking her through. She spares a moment to be thankful it is the dead of summer, not winter, shuddering at the memory of being too cold, too cold, can’t go further, just let me, just—

She shoves at the presence clawing at her thoughts.

Not real, not real, not real.

She forces herself to focus on her surroundings, on the way the boards rot and the sidewalk chips. The missing posters littering the ground curl and warp under the force of the deluge, the insistence of the water. She focuses on the feel of it in her boots, against her skin, soaking her socks; of the cold grip of the gun in her hands. She refuses to look at whatever flickers at the corner of her eye, the almost glimpses of someone else’s memories.

If she’d just turn her head, she’s sure she’d know whose.

But, no. No. She knows a trap when she sees one, knows temptation when it’s flashing right in front of her. She has a job to do. She cannot falter; she cannot fail.

But you were scared, no? She’d once asked her mother.

Of course we were, but, you can’t run forever, came the response. Eventually, it catches up with you. Better to fight on your own terms. You wanna squish the spider in the bathtub or when it’s crawling up your leg?

She will not be trapped. She will not run. She will end this.

XCOM’s gone, Central never fails to remind her. You’re a few years too late to the party, Sal. Can’t be second generation anything if it doesn’t exist.

Past. Present. She doesn’t care.

Her name is Sally Élise Royston, but she answers to Magpie. Her parents are gone, but her family is not. She is terrified, but she is XCOM; she will not waiver.

Vigilo confido.

Her mark appears almost in front of her and she stops short. He looks barely human, caved-in chest, long fingernails caked with what she suspects to blood, and an almost skeletal face. He reaches for her, and she stumbles backwards, keeping the gun pointed straight ahead, even as her arms shake. She pulls the trigger, hitting the man in the shoulder, but it does nothing to stop his advance.

She considers the possibility that she’s going to die here, in the skeletons of the so-called American Dream, a whole town rotting as her tombstone. She’d like to laugh, to find some irony in it, which is what she’s almost certain Central would do, but can’t. There’s a sort of terror creeping up her spine, and a lump in her throat. She thought she’d be braver than this.

A shot rings out from behind her and, instinctively, she dives for the nearest cover

The man — no, the thing grabs her by her wrist and yanks her to her feet, sending her gun flying.

She thought she had a few more years before she’d be staring down the barrel of an assault rifle pointed directly at her.

–

He is not drunk.

He is confident in that knowledge.

There are two Sallys, one dragging the other. One is shouting, the other silent. One is armed, one is not. Both are soaked to the skin.

Same body language.

“Central!” One calls.

Same gait.

“Central, do something!”

Same look of terror.

“Central!”

He is not as confident in the knowledge of which one is real.

The shouting one has all the hallmarks of Magpie. Some French-English pidgin, a touch of indignation, and the sense that whatever’s she dragging is entirely too heavy for someone her size. Sally’s clever, always has been, and he doesn’t put it past her to have nabbed whatever the creature is.

He knows they are out of time. The thing she’d warned him about is here, and he has a choice to make.

1 in 3,000 beats 1 in 2, he thinks. Should’ve stayed on the road. Should’ve kept going.

A gunshot wound this far from help won’t end well. There’s bleed out, there’s infection, there’s healing. There is the fact that he should almost certainly be shooting to kill.

Tick tock, something says in his head.

But there’s something else, a different voice. The voice from earlier, panicked and unsteady. Oh god, it says. Oh god, not real, not real, not real, fils de pute, not real, not real. There is no color in the face of the dragged girl, but there is a quiet terror and, if he looks carefully, if he focuses, something like trust behind her eyes.

Mortal terror has almost always rendered her mute. Retaliations. ADVENT patrols. Men who for whom the idea of she’s thirteen sounds more like encouragement than admonishment. Without fail, they knock her into silence, knock her back to the scared little girl he’d collected from a ruined haven one winter’s night.

Thunder crashes over head and one of the two flinches.

It’s enough. It’s all he needs.

He takes aim, fires, and the whole street goes dark.

–

For a moment, there is only the sound of rain.

“Magpie, tell me that’s you.”

Her heart is racing and she can’t quite think straight, but still. “It’s me,” she manages, standing. The blood rushes in her ears and she tries to slow her breathing. “How’d you know?”

He shakes his head. “Just did.”

She pokes at the bloodied body, shot clean through the head, with the toe of her boot.  “You think he was working alone?”

Central looks around, as if truly seeing the town for the first time. “I’d say that’s a safe bet. Still, let’s not take any chances.”

“Agreed,” she says, trying to hide the shiver that runs down her spine. “Let’s get out of here.”

She makes her way back towards him, never quite taking an eye off of the body in the street, all too secure in the knowledge that it could have been her.

He seems to know, too, wrapping an arm around her shoulders as they head back towards the house where they’d left their gear.

“Why do this?” She asks.

He shakes his head. “Couldn’t tell you, Magpie.”

She leans into him, and he pulls her into a one armed hug.

“Time to go?”

He nods. “Time to go.”

[generalthirstclub]

I'm sorry (literally not kidding)

TO PREFACE: I honestly still am like ½ sure I know what Dissociation is but I’m hoping I’m right??? from descriptions of it + disorders I often hear have it as a symptom I think I know what it is? if not please don’t take this to offense I’m just trying new things here and it’s based off my own experience so yeah hopefully I’m right? anyways have more fluff

–

“(Y/N)? What’s wrong?”

“…That’s you, right, Squiddy?”

A sensation of warmth flooded over your hand as a phantom touched it. Real or not, you dragged it closer and let it hug you, pure warmth encasing your body. The SQUIP, although somewhat confused as to what this half-conscious, half-delusional state of mind was, it nevertheless let you simply bask in pure feeling as frightening thoughts dashed through your head as though swings from a swordsman.

“What’s wrong?”

Although you knew it could read thoughts, it was unclear whether you could even think sentences as well as you could speak them.

“Dissociation.”

He paused, as though trying to understand the concept. Most likely, he was looking through his entirely too large database of rare mental disorders and symptoms for the definition of her state. Ethereal muscles tightened at the thought of their you going through what appeared to be an almost traumatic experience often enough to be able to simply utter “dissociation” and hope it was understood.

Quickly, however, he realized this was the improper way to go about things and quickly forced your muscles to lay onto an illusory body. Eyes looked sharp, yet a strange sense that you were  not quite there managed to fill his sensors and pervade his programming. Strange thoughts filled your head, and you could feel both anger and appreciation swirl in your chest and bubble on the spot.

“Cannot focus without extended effort…” Panic laced his voice, yet somehow those words were important enough that you hung onto every syllable. Your mind raced with so many thoughts-what was I doing? I can’t..-yet somehow those words stuck and kept repeating, over and over again, never stopping until their creator uttered another musical concoction of letters.

“Are…Are you alright?” His question was a strange one to phrase, seeing as he was in your head, yet at the same time made perfect sense. Those strange questions he saw were overtaken by a single phrase he’d uttered, of course that was nonsensical. Of course that was nonsensical, nothing you ever say makes any sense, you make no sense-

“(Y/N).” Again, syllables rang throughout a filled skull for reasons unknown. The same way your reason for existing remains unknown. Which reminds me-the lights were dizzyingly bright, weren’t they? So blinding-as blinding as your stunning lack of knowledge, everything would be dark without them they’re needed in that situation-why was everything so soft? So comfortingly warm-as warm as the warmth of your heart, sadly-oh dear, what was that blue glow?

“(Y/N). Focus.” Static crackled through his voice, a computerized echo sounding through commanding syllables. Such a powerful ring stunning both your and your derailed train of thought into a halt; you opened your eyes to blue, glowing eyes staring back at you, black hair tucked behind an ear. Were you not sure of his intent to help, you felt as though you would have easily squirmed away and onto the floor to escape such a commanding gaze, and could feel yourself doing so in spite of yourself.

“Hm? Oh…I apologize.” A fleeting joke of it’s like he can read my mind…oh wait crossed an endless expanse of current nothingness, and seemed as though it were the latch to the floodgates; yet, rather than a derailed train, this felt more like something had placed the locomotive back on the metal tracks and it was now back on course. Thoughts made sense again- it was warm because you were in his lap, you exist because of conception, your heart was warm because it beats constantly- and you sighed in relief.

“Are you alright?” Still a bit tentative in his actions, the SQUIP took a step forward. You pushed yourself off of the bed and shook your head, hair almost perfectly falling into place. You brushed it with your hand as you spoke back to the computer.

“Fine, now. Thank you.”

“Of course. But…”

“Yeah?”

“How often would you say that happens?”

 –

I kept Squiddy as a nick because I thought it was cute

but yes it’s me again hi hello

does anyone want to see a thing where this crazy mad scientist who’s strangely fashionable (totally not based off a hat I got today) offers you a chance to make the SQUIP human for nothing since she wants to experiment with it? basically she uses both psychological methods and physical experimentation to create an “empty” human then gives the SQUIP to it, allowing said SQUIP to fully control its own human.

oh and thanks for the person who commented on my last submission to this blog that was so nice! but yeah that’s all

~Eve6262