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#mostly I just needed to dump thoughts
x-ladydisdain-x · 2 years
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Something about how the last time Gerard was this public (with the exception of umbrella academy stuff) they were giving a speech almost every night about how far societal acceptance of trans people had come and how happy it made them, giving shout outs to the trans people in the audience, saying things like “I used to feel like I was wearing a costume. I don’t feel like that so much anymore”. He posted on Twitter that he uses he/they pronouns and that he had been doing a lot of research on transgenderism and that it was a very healing process. He was openly discussing gender identity struggles in interviews and Q&As, saying that growing up they didn’t really relate to other boys, that when they discovered the concept of being transgender they considered themself to be more of a woman, recommending that people figuring out the same things see a therapist that specializes in gender identity. However also making it clear that he did not have everything figured out yet and because of this was not yet comfortable publicly discussing his gender past a certain extent.
Something about how this is kind of the first time he’s in the public eye so much since then and how they have been so outwardly, unashamedly androgynous/feminine. How this is the first time we’ve seen them in years and how the last time we saw them we know they were figuring out a lot of things in terms of gender and now this is the most publicly feminine they have ever been.
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dahldahlbills · 3 months
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I really need to get serious about personal projects again
#I think I said something like this last year too lol#currently in a weird headspace about it#the biggest reason why I lost focus on them was bc I prioritized engaging in fandom#(something that I never really did when I was focused on publishing a few years back)#so part of me feels like in order to make considerable progress on projects again I need to cut myself off from fandom#and I kinda have been weening myself off a bit from animanga but not really for that reason#it was mostly bc I was getting overwhelmed by how much I was consuming and I wanted to appreciate things fully#I don’t think I’d cut myself off from fandom completely either I’d still try to keep up with stuff#but the idea of not engaging in fandom anymore kinda.. scares me?#idk I feel like a major loser admitting this lol#it just feels like I’d lose a lot of connections with people#and would lose a lot of the love I have for stories if I’m not actively interacting with them :(#and then there’s also that stupid feeling of being a ‘fake fan’ because I’m not dedicating every single second of free time to fandom#which is dumb bc like I have a life and need to make money yknow I got things to do#im just Stressed bc I’m at such a critical stage career wise and im getting closer to 26 so hhhhh healthcare coverage will be up in the air#so I really can’t afford to dawdle#there’s just so much I wanna do and while I’m not necessarily racing to get it done I still want to take advantage of the time I have#but it also sucks feeling like I’m giving up a part of myself to progress on another part of myself#I don’t think any of this makes sense sorry I just needed to dump my thoughts bc I am Terrified™️#anyway personal projects! gotta get back to those !#blahblahbills#delete later
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bonestrouslingbones · 4 months
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wait holy shit i really AM doing better because i posted a thing on the other blog 2 days ago and it still has yet to get a single note. and i didn't delete it. i dont even feel weird about it. oh my god i knew this secret blog boosted my confidence a good bit but it wasn't so clear until right now
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qwuilty · 1 year
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God I love ur takes on p1 dude so much!!! Do u have more hcs to share!!! Angsty and not :0?
Yeah i think i can share some, pardon if any of them are a bit of a run on sentence though, math homework has fried my brain a little XD (warning for like, discussion of military related trauma sorry if the warning is bad again my brain is fried <:'') )
As i said before I'm starting to come more around to the idea he enlisted after dropping out of college, if you've been around like. Any US high school or college you've probably seen recruiters perched in the halls like vultures (though it's probably more so nowadays honestly) and i think that feeling of complete failure, mixed with his need to try and 'redeem' himself by doing something 'good with himself' after may have pushed him to do so. And by all means, physically he was capable. He wasn't a star athlete but he was fairly well built and able to make it through training, it was mentally where things went wrong.
I think already he was a pretty high stress person with bad coping mechanisms, but actually having to be there on a field of combat, where slight mistakes could very well mean you never return home, i think that REALLY fucked with him. It's when his insomnia started getting worse, this looming fear of something going wrong, and it all boiled over to the ordeal i headcanon as to why he got kicked out.
After a long bout of insomnia, sleepless nights on edge as he dealt with auditory hallucinations, trying to keep himself up in one piece to not Fuck This One Chance Up as it were, it lead to a pretty bad incident one night. He (thought) he was the only one awake out of everyone else there, having a very bad night of nagging fear that there was going to be an attack on everyone else with "warning signs" (most likely small, unrelated issues blown out of proportion) and another soldier, very unaware of his current state accidentally snuck up on him asking for a light and scared him absolutely shitless.
Needless to say, startling a man very much on the edge thinking he may have to be the only one awake to keep his fellow men from dying that night was a very bad idea, thankfully someone spotted them before he choked them to death, but he was deemed unfit to serve after his 'sudden' outburst.
But even if he hadn't served full time, i think that kind of experience REALLY fucked with him, partially why he tanked so hard mentally on top of the existing college stuff and his sense of being a failure. I mainly think of the events of Postal 1 as kind of a tale of hundreds, millions of little things that lead to one big implosion, but it's one of those things to others that comes "out of nowhere" because he tried very hard to seem like he was ok.
I'm also more partial to him having served just out of logical sense, it makes sense for him to have prior training to explain how he's able to go against the military and SWAT force, why one of his first places to go after finding out about the 'virus' was the air-force, use of terms like 'flyboy', 'solider', 'grunt' and all. So i think on top of his already existing mental illnesses, the time served in the military added on additional PTSD explaining why he had auditory hallucinations of gunshots at night and fell back into his bad mental state.
This was mainly just kind of one big long headcanon explanation, but i hope you enjoyed it nonetheless!
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tiredbiostudent · 2 years
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august!
#got a new tent and I’m in love😭#I’m going backpacking next week and I’m SO pumped even if it’s supposed to be thunderstorming the first two days 😩 lol#life update is that I’ve mostly just been trying to organize my life after being gone for work for like 3 months#and I’m practicing driving a lot bc my test is at the end of the month😭 it’s going better than I thought but still stressful#also going to college in the fall and still not sure how to feel about it LMAO#i think I’m just worried I’m not gonna make any friends the entire year and I’m gonna hate it and have the program be a waste of time#I’m sure it’ll be fine?🥴#and I’m STILL contemplating about doing a masters shdhdhdg#bc ok I loved the job I had this summer and would happily do contract field bio jobs for the rest of my life but unfortunately it’s not very#stable and doesn’t pay super well so at some point I’m going to need to get a more formal job which I might need an MSc for :/ we’ll see#the idea of research and /being/ a grad student is so appealing but then I think about the actual work I’d have to do and it’s like um my#i always feel like shit in august and am so yugh because it’s friggen hot and there’s nothing to do and I have definitely been feeling that#(also because I miss work and being up north)#but I just scrolled through my ‘insp’ instagram saved posts and Pinterest board and am acc feeling good today hshdhdgxhd#like you know when you’re just excited about life 🥰✨ hehe#omg sorry for this I guess I just needed to dump my thoughts out onto the ground for everyone#mine
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thethingything · 5 months
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okay so actually it's not just that our brain's decided it's time for extra homesickness and dysphoria, but also that a bunch of source trauma stuff keeps coming up too and I'm not sure why other than that maybe new year's is one of those milestones that reminds me of how long I've been in the system and that this is a permanent thing and I can't leave.
I'm pretty sure this also happened around this time last year because I remember right around when polls were introduced and we had that one poll get thousands of notes I was in the middle of a dysphoria-fueled existential crisis over being a fictive and ended up having a really weird time with it and I know that was in January
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sea-and-storm · 2 years
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FFXIV Write Prompt #1: Cross
A hissing sigh of frustration left Ghoa’s lips as she angrily crossed out yet another failed formulation.
Leaning forward in her chair, the Mankhad returned her quill to its inkpot and returned her head to her hands. It had been bells now since Estrid’s handmaiden Luri had left her to her thinking and hypothesizing. The Raen’s suggestion of using some manner of alchemical concoction to induce a fit in the lady significant enough to draw her gods-be-damned brother out of his laboratory had sparked in her mind no shortage of ideas. Yet for all her nonstop laboring in the hours since, Ghoa had yet to find a formulation that seemed theoretically sound. 
With these perilously high stakes, Ghoa would not be satisfied until she was certain her potion would work to perfection. After all, it could very well be the only opportunity she would have if things went poorly.
“Seven hells,” she groaned as she squeezed her eyes shut and clenched at her hair. “Think. Think..”
She hadn’t any spare materials or tools available with which to tinker and experiment as was her usual means of arriving at successful alchemical invention. Any textbooks and treatises she might have to lead her in the right direction were locked away in their inn room. There was much she did not know about the Lady Estrid - her weight, her height, her constitution, or just how volatile her condition was. Worst of all, each passing tick of the clock made her exponentially more aware of the excruciating crush of time weighing down upon her shoulders.
As she released her grasp, the Xaela instead slumped back into her chair and directed her gaze up towards the ceiling as if searching it for her hidden answer. While it yielded nothing of good use, a dark thought instead crossed her mind in its place.
What if she took the need of Lady Estrid’s safety out of the equation? Poisoning certainly widened the acceptable margins for error. If she didn’t have to worry about moderating the potion’s effects nor having a remedy at hand, those were important factors that Ghoa could easily be liberated from in her calculations. Whatever happened, happened.. just so long as it gave her enough time to convince the Doctor that surrendering Nabi and allowing them to leave unmolested would win him an antidote that she needn’t even craft with aught but hollow, silvered words. 
Long, tense moments passed by as she silently argued with her better self about doing whatever she had to do in order to free Nabi from her detainment. Her stomach twisted itself into knots she tried to convince herself that she could do just what the shadowy whisper in the back of her mind suggested.
But suddenly her mind was pulled back to just days before they had come to this awful place when she stood in the plaza affronting the Alchemists Guild in Ul’dah, wracked by the uncomfortable reminder of all the missteps she had taken upon the wayward path that had led her there. She had subdued those thoughts with the reassurance that while she could not change her past ill wanderings, that she would henceforth stray no further. There were too many people whom she cared about that she dared not disappoint by falling into old habits, taking the easy way out. Most importantly, she dared not disappoint herself.
Ghoa didn’t want to hurt Estrid any more than was absolutely necessary to enact their plan. She had been earnest when she had said that she wanted to help free the woman from her affliction. What she suffered was imprisonment of its own right, though her prison possessed no iron bars or chains. Being locked away in one’s own tortured mind with no hope of escape.. The Mankhad could think of little else worse than that, and such was a fate none deserved to suffer.
No, there had to be an answer that did not simply use the already suffering woman as fodder for her own needs. She just had to think harder.
Even with her renewed determination, the alchemist’s mind still struggled to find the right solution with just the right balance. Once again, frustration began to mount within her mind and tension coiled around her body like a snake. Involuntarily, the Storm within seemed to stir in kind as often it did when her mind was in a state of tumult. She could feel the telltale tingle of electricity brimming underneath skin and scale. She could smell the faintest hint of ozone in the air around her as the Storm threatened to swell and break over her.
Wait, she thought as her eyes widened. Could it truly be that simple?
When first she and Nabi had performed, Ghoa’s aether had crescendoed into a thunderous flourish meant to impress, but had instead sent the Lady Estrid into a frenzy. The answer was right there in front of her all along. She needn’t worry about finding just the right strength of potion nor concocting any manner of remedy.. but nor did she have to resort to endangering Estrid’s life with poison.
She only needed be afforded an encore of sorts.
Amongst the papers and tomes that she had borrowed from the Alchemists Guild in regards to the research of aetheric corruption, no few had talked of their methods in which to simulate such factors when subjects for experimentation were - understandably - not in ready supply. 
Particularly, she recalled one such paper that detailed how its author had tried to induce a state similar to full-blown corruption within a test subject with a formulation that had temporarily pulled their aetheric alignment sharply out of balance towards one element or another. Of course, the effect hadn’t been as profoundly volatile as that which was found in true corruption.. But regardless, the study had been cut short prematurely for safety concerns when the subject struggled to maintain control of their roiling aether to a nonetheless dangerous degree.
In true scholarly fashion, the author had detailed the steps they had taken in formulating the tincture.. presumably so that none would repeat their mistakes, or at least would find means to improve upon them before making another attempt. But for her purposes, the recipe as written would more than suffice.
Leaning back over the desk, Ghoa plucked up the quill and began to scribble out her calculations. Instead of having to make estimations of Estrid’s height, weight, and other such factors, she scribbled in those far more familiar - her own.
As it was, the Storm was hard enough to control when she was fully in her right mind. To purposefully induce a surge of such magnitude could very well wrest the wild levin out of Ghoa’s hands entirely. But if she struggled to control her aether, it stood to reason that Estrid would succumb to another fit of her own until there was enough distance between them for her to no longer feel the Storm’s bite as it had the first time when they had left the manse after her failed dance.
It was impossible to extinguish a flame whilst someone continued to pour ceruleum over it, after all.
But even if Ghoa were to successfully coerce the Doctor into surrendering Nabi and allowing them to leave in peace, there was still the matter of how to right the state she sought to put herself into to achieve it. And unfortunately, that answer was somewhat less clear to her.
In the study, the author had mentioned that their subject had received aetheric treatments in order to bring them back to a state of elemental balance. Of course, given that the treatments hadn’t been alchemical in nature, the author hadn’t seen fit to detail them any further than in simple anecdote.
Yet if it was matter of simple aetherology and elemental conquests and submissions, Ghoa’s working theory was that a surge of electrified aether would gradually reach equilibrium in the presence of grounding earth aether. And as it just so happened, the very woman she sought to free had the most inexplicably profound connection with the earth that she had ever seen. 
Gods, it was such a risk.. But far more than her desperate, half-cocked plan to fake a kidnapping, this idea seemed to hold much more weight as she ran through it over and over again in her mind. And if worse came to worst and things went awry? She’d certainly be in a fit state to make a stand to try and fight their way out.. and it would’ve given her no small amount of pleasure to wipe the sour look off of face of the guard outside her door in particular. 
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arinlangdon · 2 years
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nobody ever really posts to the EAA tag anymore, so i should feel like i have free reign to post whatever i want? yet, i’m still too shy, if not even shyer than i ever was before
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augustinewrites · 1 year
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does gojo ever freak out or worry ab reader when she’s alone on missions? obviously she can handle herself & knows what she’s doing, but he gives the vibes that he’d be internally panicking 😭
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“hey, welcome back!” gojo grins, quickly shoving a half melted spatula to the bottom of the trash can. 
“hi,” you murmur, tipping the bill of your cap down as you close the door behind you. odd. he doesn’t think he’s seen you wear a hat before. 
“how was it?” he asks, flicking off the stove and closing in to welcome you properly with a kiss. well, he attempts to. you immediately take a step back, avoiding his embrace. he definitely doesn’t remember a time you’ve ever done that.
“i’m all sweaty,” you tell him, toeing your boots off and heading straight toward the bedroom. you say hello to the kids before shutting the door, the lock clicking into place. 
“are you mad at me?” he asks as soon as he warps into the room.
“satoru!” you startle, staggering back into the door. “get out!”
“nope,” he hums, closing in on you. “we sleep in the same room and you know that i don’t respect boundaries.” 
with that, he reaches over and pulls the baseball cap off your head. 
“satoru, please don’t freak out—”
he freaks out. 
he grabs your chin so you can’t turn away, inspecting the sutures lining your temple. “this is deep! are you okay? why were you hiding it from me?”
you swat his hand away, frowning. “i’m fine, and i wasn’t hiding it. i just didn’t want the kids to see. speaking of, did you guys eat dinner yet?”
“what grade curse was it?”
“special. i thought i smelled something burning—”
“you’re only grade one. why would they—”
“only grade one?” you repeat with a scoff. “don’t say it like that. you know the only reason i’m not special grade is because the zenin’s—”
“because the zenin’s are holding you back until you join them. they’re dicks, babe. that’s old news,” he finishes, tapping his foot impatiently. 
“listen,” you tell him, pinching the bridge of your nose. “i just didn’t get out of the way fast enough. it’s just a cut. i’ve had worse.” 
“well, next time they call you up for assignment, i’m coming with you,” he decides. “we’ll get a sitter for the kids and make it like a date night.”
“whoa,” you interrupt. “you’re inviting yourself on my assignments now? “do you think i’m not good enough?”
“well when you come home hurt, yeah!” 
he regrets it as soon as he says it. 
and he hates the way you’re looking at him. you’re hurt, and it shows. “wow. thanks for the vote of confidence.” 
“hey…”
he says your name, reaching for your hand, but you pull away, shaking your head.
_____
freshly showered and changed, you pull your robe on, exiting the bathroom. gojo’s sitting on the bed, waiting with his head in his hands.
“you know i think you’re more than capable,” he says quietly. “i wasn’t making a dig at your skill. you’re incredible.” 
“i know,” you hum, dumping your uniform into the basket. 
he looks up at you, apologetic. “but if anything happened to you, and you were really hurt…it would be my fault.”
“that’s not true,” you say quickly, sitting beside him. 
“it is,” he insists. “and i could never forgive myself, because i’m supposed to be the strongest.” 
(and what’s the point of being the strongest if he couldn’t protect the people he loved most?)
“satoru,” you murmur, smoothing a hand across his back. “you have such a big heart. i’m dating you because of your heart— well, mostly your abs but also your heart. ou already take on so much for everyone. and i need you to trust that i can’t take care of myself. i don’t want to be another burden to you.”
wordlessly, he takes your hand and presses it to his chest, so you can feel his heartbeat. 
“you are my whole heart. if i lost you and i could have stopped it, like i could’ve stopped—” he purses his lips, squeezing his eyes shut for a moment. “i just can’t lose you.” 
“and you won’t,” you promise, pressing a kiss to his cheek. “now let’s go have dinner.”
“ah. about that….”
_____
“alright, dinner’s served!”
you the kids exchange a look.
megumi leans close to you, whispering, “can we get sick from this?”
“go on,” satoru encourages, picking up his own sandwich. “it’s a spam sandwich! i used to eat these all the time before i met—”
“you’re really lucky you met her,” the twelve year old grumbles, peeling the bread back to look at the burnt piece of spam.
tsumiki, ever the people pleaser, takes a bite and chews very thoroughly before swallowing with great effort.
“um…the smoke added a nice hickory flavour to the spam.”
“okay, we’re getting pizza,” you decide, shooting your boyfriend an apologetic look.
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rinneverse · 2 months
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pspspsp,,, do you perhaps have a spare boothill thought or two ,, sfw or nsfw,,,
i most certainly do have a few spare boothill thoughts! mostly nsfw ( ¬‿¬) walk with me nonnie… heheheh this got a wee bit too out of hand and i dropped WAY more than a few thoughts (and i am also tipsy, so i apologize in advance if something doesn't make sense) regardless, i hope u rlly like this :3
cw. assorted boothill x f!reader thoughts, manhandling, biting, improper use of a lasso (bondage!), mentions of overstim, lack of stamina is a foreign concept to boothill, talk of cyborg dick and artificial cum, creampies. not proofread in the slightest if there are typos no there's not
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𓆩♡𓆪 the thing about boothill is how unafraid he is of manhandling you. while he's aware that humans are much more fragile than he, he knows your limits like the back of his hand and he knows what you can handle. you can take him like a big girl, can't you?
𓆩♡𓆪 he'll fold you in half, put you in all sorts of positions, toss you over his shoulder and pat your plush ass with a smug laugh. if you decide you want to ride him and get all tuckered out, thighs burning, the moment you're whining and babbling for his help he's already on it. big hands envelop your waist as he moves you to his whims.
𓆩♡𓆪 boothill likes to see you pleasure-drunk, entirely fucked out by the time he's done with you. he can go for as long as you need, baby; you just have to say the word. he can eat you out for hours, fuck you for double that, and still have enough energy to take care of you afterwards.
𓆩♡𓆪 cyborg sex has the potential to really get freaky tbh... he's definitely had chats with you about different 'attachments...' whatever you're into. he's definitely figured out which size makes you cum the most, and will indulge your every whim—especially when you shyly ask him "baby... can we go bigger?" (if he still had a human body, his dick would be rock fucking hard right now.) he's definitely looked into vibrating attachments. great heavens.
𓆩♡𓆪 SPEAKING OF attachments he's looked into: boothill has definitely found a way to creampie you. the tipping point for him deep diving into this was when you were just whinin' so pretty for him, begging for more, and you had let it slip that you wished so bad for him to be able to cum into you. lo and behold, he finds a solution and he surprises you by cumming deep in your aching cunt one night. the two of you definitely make a mess of your bedsheets by the end of the day (and you probably had the most earth-shattering orgasms you've ever had in your life).
𓆩♡𓆪 the day you finally asked him what his teeth would feel like, boothill's grinning like a maniac. he won't bite so hard that it hurts too much, but he knows how much you like the power he holds over you. sharp teeth sink into flesh, followed by a hot tongue that laves over the mark adoringly.
𓆩♡𓆪 another day he indulged you... there was one time he noticed you eyeing the lasso that hangs at his hips. he smiles wolfishly at you and asks, "like what you see, darlin'?" he's surprised when you shyly nod your head and look up at him with sweet doe eyes and asks if maybe... he'd consider using it in the bedroom?
𓆩♡𓆪 and oh, he did. he considered it maybe a little too hard (he jerked himself off far too many times that day). when the time came for him to use it on you, he was fiending. he ties your wrists to the bedposts and just goes to town, treating your cute body like a pretty little cum dump. he's definitely a big fan. especially when you can't run away from all the pleasure he wants to give you <3
𓆩♡𓆪 he doesn't look it, but i think he provides good aftercare. he knows how fragile the human body is firsthand: that's why he's a cyborg now. he'll take care of you. without fail, every time he's done with you, you're practically a puddle, exhausted and jelly-boned, and boothill is scooping you up into his metal arms. and yet despite the cool metal pressing against your flesh, you feel warm. maybe it's just the love pouring out of his every action, the way he treats your body with absolute reverence and adoration as he cleans you up and gets you ready for some rest.
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please don't repost on other platforms. rbs and comments are super appreciated ♡ !!
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shocymer · 3 months
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Want me to teach you?
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"Starting off as journalism clubs buddies, you never know how your relationship will take turns after he offered to give you a lesson."
Pairing : Yunho x f!reader
Word counts : 2.3k
Contents & warnings : smut mdni! , college AU, gamer yunho, oral (receiving), size kink, big dick! yunho, slightly pussy edging, overstimulation, semi public sex, unprotected sex, creampie.
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“There’s something between you and her. I mean like you’re in relationship or..?” Wooyoung asked him carefully.
Yunho’s eyes goes widen. He never thought of dating you in the first place. After breaking up with his longtime ex lover, he completely avoided the topic of romance. He’d been dating his ex since high school. But at the certain time they’re in college, she became a campus crush and immediately dumped him.
He let out a soft chuckle in response, “How could that be?”
“Isn’t it obvious? The atmosphere.. ehhm kinda heavy around you two.” Seonghwa suddenly chimed in while his finger moved in circle towards Yunho.
He raised his eyebrow, a thin smile form his lips after ridiculed by them.
“Nah we’re not. We’re just friends, that’s all.”
To be honest, he wasn't that surprise when they asked about it. It all started from two months before. You accidentally took a glance on Yunho’s phone. He’s immersed in Detroit: Become Human walkthrough video while waiting for other faculty journalism club’s member to come.
Then you happened to be walking behind him before taking a seat. “Oh you’re into that game too?”
“I want to give it a try.” He turn at you for a moment before his eyes glued back to the screen. “But I still figure it out whether this one worth it or not.”
You crossed your arms then slightly lean towards him in attempt to get a better view of the video. “Hmm.. It’s a shame if you know most of the plot through this. Like I want you to experience the true ending by your own choices.”
“Wait, you ever played this?” Surprised that you’re into gaming stuff.
“I did, but on PC. I don’t know if there’s any differences if you play it on your console.” You lean away from him.
Now, he’s more interested in you and leaving the video played alone in the background. Distracted by your little fingers fidgeting on the back of your phone unconsciously, as both of you deep in talk. He’s wondering why is it so small and weirdly cute. Then he glanced back to you.
“So you’re not used to play with the controller right?”
You nod at him, “yeah, last time I try it when I was in 7th grade or something. The grip was uncomfortable. Right after that, I decided PC is much more easier.” You paused for a second, “but sometimes I would love to try it again.”
He chuckled seems to know the reasons why. Proceed to clear his throat before he answered you back, “Want me to teach you?”
Deep sighed left from your mouth, “I’m pretty sure you’ll be mad at me the second we’re in.”
“No no, definitely not. I got patience as deep as the ocean. You sure know that.”
You rolled your eyes. “Right, definitely a saint in your past life.”
He laughed at your remark and how annoyed you’re right now. You smacked his arm, telling him to stop. Not to long, both of you getting ready for the club’s meeting as everyone already gathered in.
You thought he’d be joking. He never brought that idea again after the last conversation with you. He occasionally texted you only about the club’s activity or college stuff. Until a week after, he slide a brand new box of controller towards you.
“Better started now or never.” He slightly tilted his head, pointing to where the box landed.
“Yunho, you don’t need to buy me this. I- like just tell me when you’re-”
“Shhh.. save that nagging for later.” His delicate hand started to unbox it with care. Then he handed it to you.
It’s mostly dominated with white and soft blue colors on the side. Plus the kitty paw shaped the thumb grip, make it seems like a customized controller. You reach it in fascination. That’s super cute. Both of you think the same way, but completely on different matters.
Yunho kept looking at your fingers which is nicely wrapped the controller. His eyes following the direction of your little thumbs that moving uncoordinatedly, mimicking the way you’re gonna use it in game. Then, his gaze turn to your lips, looking at how cute and plump it is.
He shook his head, after that he explained to you about it’s feature, how to turn it on and how to charge it. You listen to him just like in one of your lectures. Remembering everything that he told you while nodding at the same time.
“Thanks Yunho, that’s so cute.” You looked at him in guilty. “I bet this was expensive right?”
“Well, actually not that much. I just want you to use it more if it looks like that.” He flicked your forehead. “This is my own wish. Don’t ever feel bad about it, okay?”
After that day, you spent almost every weekend playing co-op game with him. He patiently guided you from the voice chat. Dealing with how forgetful you are and a lot of complaints about your sore fingers. With that antics of yours, he only let out small chuckle or teasing you even more.
On the weekday, sometimes you met him in the club’s room. Mostly during the meeting or when you do the project. The moment you asked him to check your works, he’ll lean over from your behind and randomly put his hand on top of yours while the other hand is scrolling the mouse. There’s also a moment he covered the shelf corner with his hand when your head nearly bump it or he’ll immediately fetched the things you needed where it’s difficult for you to reach.
You never realize that, but not with your other two friends. Seonghwa and Wooyoung, they keep exchange glances across the room whenever Yunho and you act like a new pair of lovers. They’re a hundred percent sure sensing something more than platonic relationship, when the actual truth is not. There’s nothing between you two, yet.
⁠✧
It's 3 days before the exam period. The faculty journalism club already in chaos for past few weeks. They’re divided into two teams. First team is responsible with the faculty website news update, and here you are in the second team handling the semester end magazine. Your leader pushed the deadline earlier hoping the only left to do is printed it out at the end of exam day.
Your tired ass have been proofreading for solid three hours non-stop. Flipping through the revision sheet and going back to the laptop. Luckily you don’t have any class today. All of you agreed to finished it today. But alas, there’s only four of you left, and making it worse the other two need to leave too.
“Shit, I forgot to consult my thesis. I’ll be back at evening!” Seonghwa barging out in hurry. No wonder he’s literally your senior a year above you.
Not to long, Wooyoung following around as he got notification with a sudden class at noon. He’s cursing along the way. Of course all of you haunted with the leader’s wrath, considering how strict he is. You still remembered the looks on his face when the last project failed.
There’s only Yunho and you left alone. Silence along the typing sounds are the only sound that filled the room. At this exact time, most of the clubs room are empty. Either everyone still in the class or diving in the library preparing for the exam.
The work flow with him lasted for more than an hour. He’s occasionally sipping his iced coffee while working on it. He took the editing part, after that passed it on to you. But this time, his hand slipped, nudging the cup of his coffee. He could save it, but not with your pile of revision papers. It scattered all over the floor.
“Oh fuck, I’m sorry.” He immediately crouched down as you do the same to collect the papers.
While collecting it in a rush, your fingertips brushing the back of his hand. Your face only a few inches from his side, making him shiver from the feeling of your warm breath against his skin. Then he turn to face you, staring deep into your eyes. Your heartbeat increase rapidly as he turning his hand to hold yours. His gaze shifted from your eyes to your small plumped lips.
When the tip of your noses touched, you couldn’t stand it anymore. You crushed his lips, kissing him hungrily. He pulled you in, till his back hit against the wall only to bring you on top of his lap while the kiss still not broken. He peeled off his denim jacket as the temperature keep raising between you two.
Gasping for some air, you pull out from the kiss. His index finger caress your cheek trailing down to you lips. You open your mouth to let it in wrestling around with your tongue. He let out small groaned at the sight of it. “I always curious how it taste like.” He lean in to you, whispering into your ears, “and that’s incredibly sweet.”
He picked you without a warning, gives you a quick kiss before plopping you down to the couch, then closed the curtains in swift motion.
Now he’s back to you, nibbling the nape of your neck, sucking on it, sometimes sunk his teeth beneath your skin. You’re squirming under him, gripping onto his hair as the sensation wash over you. He looked up to you, searching for your permission to go lower.
You nodded at him. He’s devouring your lips again while his hand pushed up your tight knee-length skirt, revealing wet trace over your panties. His fingers caress your clothed clit, moved in circular motion. You moaned between the kisses, you can feel he’s smirking on top of your lips.
He moved the panties to the side, then dip his finger into your folds. He chuckled, “you’re already this wet hmm?” Then he’s slipping in another finger, makes you gasped at how full it is inside. At first, his fingers moved back and forth slowly, but over time it’s moving faster making squelched noises due to how wet your pussy is.
He's amused by looking at the face you make right now, moaning out his name when you almost at the edge. He’s stopped in the middle of it, pulled out his fingers. “It’s not enough if it just like that.” He's immediately going down to yank out your panties, then sticking his third fingers into you, moving abruptly while his tongue flicking your clit, sucking on it hungrily. You grip onto his hair tighter, only strangle moan left out from your mouth before his another hand tried to cover it. You buckled your hip as you reaching out the orgasm, biting the palm of his hand trying to stifle your moan. He flicked his tongue few times makes your body spasm due to overstimulation. When you chasing down from it, he licked clean your pussy, then going back to kiss you, giving the taste of yours.
He take a step back, unbuttoning his jeans then pulled down the zipper, letting his cock sprung out from his brief. You took a peek on it with your half lidded eyes, still recovering from the last orgasm. It looks swollen, the unbelievable girth with it’s veins pop visibly, and the tip is glistening with the pre cum. He's stroking it for few times before lining it on your entrance. The tip is slowly in, you can feel the pain as it bigger than your thought.
He's leaning down to you, holding your hands, then trailing kisses on your neck hoping you to relaxes. “I’m sorry is it hurting that much?” He’s stroking your hair while looking into your eyes. “Not.. that much.” You answered him in teary eyes. He kisses your forehead then to your eyes. “It’s a still little bit more baby, can you take it?” You nodding at him. When it’s all in, he let it still for a moment so you get used to it. Then he start moving slowly while his hand unbuttoned your shirt, cupping your breast and slightly fondle it.
He thrusting it faster after he hear you moan in pleasure. His hand grip your waist, while the other hand busy teasing your clit. Your pussy tightened at every deep thrust, making him groaned at the feels. His hips moved erratically after pressing his hand on your stomach, feeling the bulge whenever his cock in you completely. Your nails digging in his clothed back as you feel the knot in your stomach. You squirted over him, making a mess on his shirt. He didn’t stop while your walls clenching on his cock, “you felt so good baby.” After few thrusts he filled your cunt, milking his balls empty. He pulled it out, then plopping himself beside you. Both of you breathing heavily while staring at each other. After realizing it, both of you laughing at how messy you’re right now.
⁠✧
“I’m baaack!” Wooyoung slammed the door open, his eyes goes widen at the sight of you two.
“Aren’t you guys tired? You didn’t move an inches since I left.” He saw you typing furiously on your laptop, meanwhile Yunho sorting out the papers beside you.
Yunho turned to him, “actually I need some snacks.” He gets up from his chair, then put his arms around Wooyoung’s shoulder.
Before they go, Wooyoung looked at you. “You don’t need anything? Or maybe you need some fresh air, you can go with Yunho instead. I’ll continue the rest.”
“I’m fine.” You paused for a second, “uhm.. well, maybe I want a smoothie.”
“Okay got it!” he gives an okay sign to you, then dragged Yunho along out of the club room. Yunho stopped his step, “wait I think I left something.” He ran back to the clubs room.
When he got there, he whispered something to you, “After this, do you still want me to teach you? My lesson isn’t done yet.” You flinched at his sudden peck on your lips. He smiled cheekily while leaving you speechless alone, squirming on your seat as you feel his juice spilled down over your thigh.
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deadsetobsessions · 4 months
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AU List
Hello! Welcome! This is my attempt at keeping the AU's boiuncing around in my head in order. They should be mostly in chronological order.
Some of them are getting turned into full length fics! The list (and it's open to suggestions) can be found here: Fic List
A couple of things:
Please feel free to write your own fics based on any of these! No need to ask, simply link it so I can also read it <3
If you have any specific scenarios you have an idea for and would like me to write- my asks/prompts are always open! I can't guarantee quality as I do most of my writing at like, 3 AM but I'll try my best!
I don't condone racism, bigotry, homophobia, etc.. I do not welcome it here. I acknowledge that I have biases that I've yet to unlearn. If there's something that makes you feel unwelcome in the things I write, please let me know and I will fix it ASAP.
I write these mostly on little to no sleep (that’s when I get creative I guess?) so good luck.
Update: Apparently you can have too many links on one post (which was news to me) so the links are in the titles lol
Squatter!Danny Phantom Raises Tim
Tim 'self-preservation instinct of a wet paper bag' finds Danny Phantom squatting in his house as an injured vigilante and they immediately adopt each other.
Ghost King and the Justice League
Different scenarios where the Justice League (and extensions) deal with a Ghost King Danny Phantom, who generally just wants to get some sleep and avoid his paperwork like he avoids his problems- actively and indiscriminately.
Alcoholic! Danny Adopts Jason Todd (Fic)
Danny Phantom, a struggling alcoholic, finds his way into Gotham where he adopts a young Jason Todd... after accidentally making a name for himself, again.
Spider in Gotham (Fic)
Peter Parker found himself unceremoniously dumped into Gotham and merged with his younger, formerly dead, alternate self.
Gotham! Danny and His Bats
Different scenarios wherein which Danny Phantom is Gotham's city spirit and the task of wrangling Gotham's vigilante and villainous population is laid at his feet.
Danny in Gotham
Somehow, somewhen, Danny finds himself moving to Gotham. Other than the aesthetics, Danny finds it to be pretty similar to Amity Park's insanity.
Sea Cryptic!Danny Phantom
Danny Phantom cleans beaches in his off time. One day, he has to pick Batman (and his plane that was littered all over the ocean floor) out of the sea.
Danny Gets Yeeted (Yoted?) Into Gotham
Danny Phantom dented the Batmobile and got an adoption, vigilante siblings, and a gang of kids following him for his troubles/
Danielle "Dani/Ellie" Phantom
Danielle Phantom travelled to Gotham. Gotham encounters a wild Danny amidst its tall towers.
Timothy Drake-Centric
When Tim Drake is set on something, very little can stop him, With sub catergories : Reincarnated as Gamer! Timmy Drake (fem Tim)(Fic) and New Tim-line, Who Dis?
Reincarnated as Damian Wayne's Older Sister
Based on a nightmare, an OC finds themself reincarnated as Damian Wayne's older sister. She does not have a good time.
Prompts Found
A collection of prompts found and filled. Includes Triplet Tim and Reverse Trope Prompt.
Misc. ficlets and thoughts
My brain vs. whatever errant thoughts and ideas that decided to pop up when I'm trying to sleep.
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i6eyes · 1 year
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%% jean kirstein bf hcs !!
pt 2
contains: sfw and nsfw, implied fem!reader (no y/n), established relationship, soft jean teehee, jean’s horse cawk, nothing too graphic tbh
— who knew a fucking stallion will be the one who's going to bring me back from the dead .
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sfw
omg omg he's soo tall right
definitely puts his arms around your shoulder, and kisses u on your temple or forehead too
the sweetest !! i feel like he would be so so attentive to u
oooh u did a double take at the dress u guys walked passed by earlier in the mall? woah it's suddenly in ur bed the next day !! :OO
he's a nice cook ! can cook but the best, his expertise are mostly breakfast foods but he can cook you lunch and dinner as long as he has a recipe
oh he'd be absolutely smitten !!!! i luv big scary men being total sweethearts to their s/o
if ur trying some shoes, he'd be the one to do all of the work ! he'd kneel down, take off your shoes, puts on what you chose on you, will be the who's going to take it off too, then will tie or buckle your shoes up for you
or or or, he'd be out alone and he passes by this little store filled with trinkets and stuff. safe to say, he walked out of the store with a silly little keychain he knew you'd like
^^ one of his love language is acts of service
he loves spending time with you. specially the moments where you two just chill and share some occasional kisses here and there
his favorite thing to do is have you lay on top of him while he's laying down and make you talk about your day !! he'd play with your hair and caress your nape and back while you do so :((
he's obviously attractive, but he doesn't know how much
there's so many simple things that he makes attractive
his attentiveness. you'd be in the grocery then he'd suddenly disappear for a while, only for him to come back with arms full of chips and snacks. "these are your favorites, right?" he said while dumping them in the cart, not even waiting for your answer.
oddly specific but the way he leans on every door way. you know the thing where people place their hands on top of a doorway? that, but he subconsciously does it everywhere. omg imagine he fetches you from your house for a date and the moment you open your door, boom! there's jean, towering you with a smile on his face.
he knows how to slow dance, like the ones in the movies where the main characters would suddenly dance in their living room, to which, he did with you!
slow dancing in the living room with jean :(
if you're still in school and he sees you struggling with a subject or school work, he'd help you as soon as he could, specially if it's something he already learned before. but! if that's not the case, he'd take his time to learn what you're having problems with and try to come up with an explanation to make you understand better
he's so lame (affectionate)
nsfw
oh boy
he's not the stallion for nothing
easily one of the biggest cock in the aot verse
usually, i'd be realistic when it comes to sizes, but jean is at 7-8 inches.
hhhhhhgggh, king of dick prints. he's naturally big even when soft, about 5 to 5.5 maybe. < he's a grower
he's such a big man, his proportions are perfect, of course he needs a big fucking cock to go along with it
he keeps his happy trail no matter what happens. he knows it's attractive and knows that you love seeing it on him
^^ up to you whether you want him to shave or trim, he's fine with anything as long as he keeps his happy trail
wide athletic shoulders that he puts your legs at while he's eating you out our splitting you open with his cock
this man's proportions are actually making me insane i don't know how to put my thoughts into words anymore
his hands are big, but not huge or ginormous. it's pretty and rough looking at the same time. his fingers are longer than most men's but are thick enough like the ones most are familiar with when thinking about a man's hand.
his nape is sensitive, simple touches like brushing his hair back will make him shiver. hickeys also show more easily on his neck, just suck on it lightly and there's already a blooming red mark left in its wake.
oh my god, touch his torso or the bottom of his stomach (ehem, close or at his happy trail) and he's gone. it's starting to become an actual problem because there would be completely innocent moments where you touch those places because you need to get pass by him and he'd just suddenly pop a boner on the spot.
*taps mic* soft dom
he absolutely loves praising you, it's an unconscious thing he does
you'd be on your knees, sucking in his cock on your mouth as much as you could, and he'd groan while keeping your hair out of your face using a hand while the other caresses your cheek, wiping away the tears that lay there.
^^ "there we go, knew you could do it.", "fuckin' natural at it.", "think you could take me a little deeper? uh huh? yeah that's my good girl."
im in shambles
he's SOOOOO good with his fingers my GOD.
he knows what it takes to make you cum with his fingers, he has an actual technique it's crazyyy. doesn't prioritize in making it fast or hard or whatever, whether you like it like that or slow, he will follow his own lead on what he thinks will make you feel spineless.
knows the fingers inside you, palm on your clit thing. has made you squirt using it on multiple occasions
while he adores missionary because he loves seeing your face and folding you in half with your legs beside your ears, doing it doggy will always make him carnal
he has a thing for your backkk. he'd grab the one side of your shoulder while he's hitting it from the back, sometimes he'd bruise your hips with his grip instead
will slap your ass. not really in a sub/dom dynamic. he just likes the way he sees his handprint on your ass while you're writhing beneath him
stroke game is unmatched !!!!!!!!!
he doesn't rely on his size alone, this bitch is actually prepared and knows his shit y'all
even if he doesn't or can't push all of him in, he'd work with what he's able to put inside you and god does he do it well
during missionary, expect him to put a pillow under your hips despite his size and knowledge. he want to make you feel the best at any given time
while he doesn't mind if you're a loud moaner or what, he LOVES hearing you whine.
if you're a whiner, boy is it a good time to be ALIVEEEEEE
he founds it so cute and hot <3
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wombywoo · 7 months
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Ok! I've finally decided to put together a (somewhat) comprehensive tutorial on my latest art~
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Please enjoy this little step-by-step 💁‍♀️
First things first--references!
Now I'm not saying you have to go overboard, but I always find that this is a crucial starting point in any art piece I intend on making. Especially if you're a detail freak like me and want to make it as realistic as possible 🙃
As such, your web browser should look like this at any given point:
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Since this is a historical piece, it means hours upon hours of meaningless research just to see what color the socks are, but...again. that isn't, strictly, necessary 😅
Once I've compiled all my lovely ref pics, I usually dump them into a big-ass collage ⬇️
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(I will end up not using half of these, alas :'D)
Another reference search for background material, and getting to showcase our models of choice for this occasion~
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When picking a reference for an actor or model, the main thing I keep in mind (besides prettiness 🤭) is lighting and orientation. Because I already kinda know what pose I'm gonna go with for this piece, I can look for specific angles that might fit the criteria. I should mention that I am a reference hound, and my current COD actor ref folder looks like this:
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Also keep in mind, if you're using a ref that you need to flip, make sure you adjust accordingly. This especially applies to clothing, as certain things like pants zippers and belt buckles can be quite specific ☝️
Now that we've spent countless hours googling, it's time to start with a rough sketch:
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It doesn't have to be pretty, folks, just a basic guideline of where you want the figures to be.
The next step is to define it more, and I know this looks like that 'how to draw an owl' meme, but I promise--getting from the loose sketch above to below is not that difficult.
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Things to keep in mind are--don't go too in-depth with the details, because things are still subject to change at this point. In terms of making a suitable anatomically-correct sketch, I would suggest lots of studying. This doesn't even have to be things like figure drawing, I genuinely look at people around me for inspiration all the time. Familiarize yourself with the human form, and things like weight, proportions, posing will seem a little more feasible.
It's also important at this stage to consider your composition. Remember to flip the canvas frequently to make sure you're not leaning to one side too often. I'm sure something can be said for the spiral fibonacci stuff, which I don't really try to do on purpose, but I think keeping things like symmetry and balance in mind is a good start ✌️
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Next step is just blocking in the figures. Standard. No fuss 👍
Now onto the background!
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It's frankly hilarious how many people thought I was *hand-drawing* these maps and stuff 😂😂 I cannot even begin to comprehend how insanely difficult that would be. So yeah, we're just taking the lazy copy and paste way out 🤙
I almost always prepare my backgrounds first, and this is mostly to get a general color scheme off the bat. For collage work, it's really just a matter of trial and error, sticking this here, slapping this there, etc. I like to futz around with different overlay options until I've found a nice arrangement. Advice for this is just--go nuts 🤷‍♀️
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Next, I add a few color adjustments. I tend to make at least 2 colors pop in an art piece, and low and behold, they usually tend to be red and blue ❤️💙There's something about warm/cool vibes, idk man..
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Now we move on to coloring the figures. This is just a basic block and fill, not really defining any of the details yet.
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Next, we add some cursory values. Sloppy airbrush works fine, it'll look better soon I promise 🙏
And now--rendering!
I know a lot of beginner artists are intimidated by rendering, and I can totally understand why. It's just one of those things you have to commit to 💪
I've decided to show a brief process of rendering our dear Johnny's face here:
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Starting off, I usually rely on the trusty airbrush just to get some color values going. Note--I've kept my sketch layer on top, but feel free to turn it on and off as you work, so as to not be too bound to the sketch. For now, it's just a guideline.
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This next stage may look like a huge jump, but it's really just adding more to the foundation. I try to think of it like putting on make-up in a way~ Adding contours, accentuating highlights. This is also where I start adding in more saturation, especially around areas such as ears, nose and lips. Still a bit fuzzy at this point, but that's why we keep adding to it 💪
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A boy has appeared! See--now I've removed most of the line layer, and it holds up on its own. I'll admit that in order to achieve this realistic style, you'll need lots and lots of practice and skill, which shouldn't be discouraging! Just motivate yourself with the prospect of getting to look at pretty men for countless hours 🙆‍♀️
I'll probably do a more in-depth explanation about rendering at some point, but let's keep this rolling~
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Moving forward is just a process of adding to the figures bit by bit. I do lean towards filling in each section from top to bottom, but you can feel free to pop around to certain parts that appeal to you more. I almost always do the faces first though, because if they end up sucking, I feel less guilty about scrapping it 😂 But no--I think he's pretty enough to proceed 😚
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They're coming together now 🙆‍♀️ Another helpful tip--make sure you reuse color. By that, I mean--try to incorporate various colors throughout your piece, using the eyedropper tool to keep a consistent palette. I try to put in bits of red and blue where I can
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Here they are fully rendered! Notice I've made a few subtle changes from the sketch, like adjusting the belt buckles because I made a mistake 😬 Hence why you shouldn't put too much stock in your initial sketch~
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The next step is more of a stylistic choice, but I usually go over everything with an outline, typically in a bright color like green. Occasionally, I can just use my initial line layer, but for this, I've made a brand new, cleaner line 👍
And the final step is adjusting the color and adding some text:
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Tada!! It's done!
All in all, this took me the better part of a week, but I have a lot of free time, so yeah ✌️
I hope you appreciated that little walkthrough~ I know people have been asking me how I do my art, but the truth is--I usually have no clue how to explain myself 😅 So have this half-assed tutorial~
As a bonus, here is a cute (cursed) image of Johnny without his mustache:
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A baby, a literal infant child !!! who put this wee bairn on the front lines ??! 😭
Anyway! peace out ✌️
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mistercrowbar · 4 months
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Sketchy lineup of origin companion (+Aldiirn) body type headcanons because I really would have like to see more variation in game. And c’mon the guys all dumped Strength they shouldn’t have six pack abs.
Thoughts under the cut!
Lae’zel - her being the shortest mostly because its funny to me. I legitimately did not realise she’s small & thin in game until most of the way through Act 1 because she’s so freaking intimidating. So she’s just like, mini murder machine. Utterly ripped keeping with the in game look for githyanki, trying to keep her shapes sharp and muscle bodies short. No boobs because githyanki lay eggs and honestly I find them weirdly out of place on her body.
Astarion - Slim and svelte, to seduce, not scare. I know canonically Larian said he’s 5’9” but look we need at least ONE guy to be short and it’s going to be Astarion.
Aldiirn - Soft body befitting a soft heart! Also to appear non-threatening. He’s active pre-campaign so the pudge stays consistent until he transforms and tummy hurty. :(
Shadowheart - Bottom heavy with muscle that can still be seen under the fat.
Wyll - gets a pass at having the default figure because he was making a career of the hero hobo thing already. But a bit less defined.
Gale - Good hearty chonk. Fat. Man’s been cooped up for a year, lost his magic (I assume casting costs calories), and has a penchant for wine and cheese. I figure he would slim down a bit due to being more active during the campaign (and certainly the cheeses are less fine on the road) but still remain the heaviest. Not gonna be beholden to if this is act 1 or act 3 tho because I am still learning how to draw fat on guys.
Karlach - BEEF. Gets the Gamagoori treatment where she’s as big as she needs to be to be the biggest in any given frame lmao. Still, keep her muscle shapes on the rounder side (compared to lae’zel especially) because she’s a sweetie.
I didn’t draw the non-origins because HONESTLY I get overwhelmed at the number of companions wheeze but Halsin gets the bear look and is a smidge taller than Gale, Minthara is like a more filled out Lae’zel, and Jaheira and Minsc as they are in game.
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mypoisonedvine · 2 years
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𝘀𝘂𝗺𝗺𝗮𝗿𝘆 | halloween is that special night where you can be anything you want to be... maybe more than the labels everyone else gives you. maybe even more than 'just friends'. (aka, reader has a reputation, eddie's still a virgin, filth ensues)
𝘄𝗼𝗿𝗱 𝗰𝗼𝘂𝗻𝘁 | 5.6k
𝘄𝗮𝗿𝗻𝗶𝗻𝗴𝘀 | smut (18+ only, of course), virginity loss, best friends to lovers, slight angst (mostly just hurt/comfort), unprotected sex, creampie, degradation kink (but like, in a loving way?), rough filthy fucknasty sex for no reason at all except that I'm a whore, L-bomb, reader is a candy corn hater (this was hard for me guys ngl), all men being trash except eddie (so, you know, real life)
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“God, I can’t stand these,” you grimaced as you shoved the baggies of candy corn towards him.
“More for meee!” Eddie sang happily as he scooped them all up, cackling to himself as he filled his arms.  He looked especially in character as a pirate in that moment, treating the candy like his treasure.  His costume had actually come together better than you expected: the tight leather pants and boots looked less rocker and more sailor when paired with the flowy white shirt and black eyepatch.
"Will you trade your Sour Patch Kids for my candy cigarettes?" you asked him, getting an incredulous scoff in return.  
"No way," he shook his head, "I don't need candy ones, got a couple packs of the real kind in my room."
You frowned.  "Guess the candy economy changed since we were kids, huh?"
He looked up at you, a tender look in his eyes as he smiled.  "Yeah…" he trailed off.
"I'm surprised anybody gave a couple of giant seniors candy for trick-or-treating," you smirked.  "I guess that's the benefit of 'chaperoning' your Hellfire friends."
"Exactly," he beamed.  "And hey, maybe we're a little old for it, but you make for a lovely princess."
You batted your eyelashes playfully, tilting your head with the tiara pinned on top.  "Who, me?  I'm just dressed as a good excuse to repurpose an old homecoming gown."
He laughed, but then seemed to get a bit more serious then (but still happy).  "I'm glad we could do this," he decided.  "Like old times."
"We always spend Halloween together," you reminded him.
"Yeah— I mean this." He motioned to the dumped-out pails of candy on the trailer floor, and you nodded.  "And not just 'cause of the sugar rush."
You smiled softly at him, tilting your head.  "Of course, Eddie."
"Kinda thought you were gonna ditch me this year," he added suddenly, looking down into his lap at the candy he was unwrapping.  "You know… 'cause of that guy."
"Oh, yeah," you sighed, "well… that's over."
Eddie looked up again, his eyes seeming bigger than ever.  "Really?"
"Don't sound so excited," you rolled your eyes, but the sarcasm wasn't enough to hide your heartbreak.
"No— hey, I'm sorry," he offered, scooting closer to you on the floor.  "I know you liked him a lot.  But I know you know I thought he was a total loser."
You shot him a look with a raised brow.  He shrugged.
"Takes one to know one."
"You're not a loser, Eddie," you sighed sympathetically.  "And you were right about him— obviously.  I knew you were, I just… I dunno, I guess I thought I could change him?"
Eddie smirked.  "When has that ever worked?"
"For me?  Never," you scoffed.  "I think guys do change, for the right girl.  And it's just never me."
"That's not fair," he frowned, "it's not your fault that these guys are garbage.  Well— I mean, it's sorta your fault that you keep hooking up with guys that are garbage—"
You slapped him on the arm lightly, and he laughed.
"Am I wrong?" he wondered.
You slumped your shoulders a bit.  "No… but still.  Don't be so mean, I'm moping over here."
"Aw, sweetheart," he pouted, sliding closer again and wrapping his arms around you.  You sighed as you rested your head on his shoulder, shutting your eyes.  Honestly, you were trying not to cry.  Over a guy.  You told yourself you weren't going to do that anymore.  Actually, you told Eddie that you wouldn't do that anymore, after you cried over Tommy Pearson.  And sure, you cried over James Neher since then, but he didn't call you out for it… that showed how messed up you really were over it, that he didn't poke fun at you for it.  Almost nothing was too far with you two, you made fun of him for being a trailer park flunk-out just as much as he poked fun at your… storied dating history.
The one thing you didn't make fun of Eddie for (that much, at least) was his lack of dating history.  As of yet, Eddie was actually still a virgin.
Uh, mostly a virgin… he got a blowjob once after a Corroded Coffin show, and called you first thing after to tell you giddily about how it went.  He was heartbroken, too, when she never called, but he didn't cry— he just started dodging your questions about it until finally fessing up that she totally disappeared.  So you put on one of his favorite movies (The Evil Dead) and wrapped him up in a blanket, and he was over it in a night.
That was a couple months ago, though, and Eddie had had no luck since with losing the remaining half of his virginity.  You hadn't had any trouble finding guys, just in finding those special (potentially imaginary) ones that don't disappear after you put out.
The conversation drifted back to candy and the next Hellfire campaign before it looped back around to relationships again.  It started because of a debate about if gum counted as candy, actually.
"Maybe, like, Juicy Fruit counts," Eddie decided.  "But definitely not just any old spearmint stick."
"I thought you liked spearmint gum!"
"Yeah, but it's not candy!  I like a lot of things that aren't candy!"
You huffed.  "So you're not gonna give me anything for the sticks of Trident?"
"Best I can do is… one Tootsie Roll," he decided, tossing the pathetic little taffy at you as you scoffed.
"Don't insult me," you grimaced as you tossed it back, "I don't want your individually-wrapped waxy chocolate byproduct."
"I'll be honest, I didn't really understand that," he frowned, "but I can tell it was an insult to my beloved Tootsie Rolls."
"They taste like eating a chocolate scented candle!" you announced.
He gasped dramatically and held one of his larger Tootsie Rolls up to his chest, like he was protecting it from your words.  "That's not true, baby," he whispered to the candy, petting it tenderly, "she didn't mean that…"
You laughed at the bizarre display.  "God, you're such a freak," you reminded him.
"And you're a slut," he returned with a wide smile and a tilt of his head.
That was your thing, you'd always say that back to each other, like a nickname.  You started it to try to take the power away from the names everyone else called you two, and it worked: it didn't hurt nearly as much getting called a slut when you could remember the way Eddie said it like a term of endearment.  And he said it was the same for him, even though he pretended like he'd never been bothered by his label.  He did have it worse though… he was the freak, you were just a slut.  
"If you don't want the Roll then I guess I'm getting that gum for free," Eddie decided, about to reach for it, but you smacked his hand away.
"No way," you frowned.
"Are you gonna chew it?" he assumed.
"Never," you decided, "but I can find someone who wants it."
"Why won't you chew it yourself?  Still turned off to all gum by that Fred guy?"
"It was Frank," you corrected, "and yeah, he never stopped chewing that stupid Extra.  Even during…"
"Guess he needed a little Extra help in bed," Eddie snorted.
"The sex wasn't that bad, actually," you recalled, "it just… smelled a little too minty fresh."
"Does it normally smell like something else?" he asked.
Your face got a little warm.  "Uh… yeah, kinda."
Eddie wrinkled his brow slightly.  You thought that was the end of it, after a long pause, and you were just about to change the subject when he broke the silence.  "What's it like?"
"The smell?!"
"No, no!  The sex.  What does it feel like?" he asked hesitantly, flipping up his eye patch to look at you properly.
"Well, I dunno— it's hard to describe."
"Everyone says that," he frowned.
"And it would feel different for you anyways," you added.
He nodded.  "Right."
"One guy said that I felt like a warm bath, but like, only on his cock," you remembered, almost laughing at the memory.  It was a weird thing to say, especially in the middle of sex.
Eddie choked.  "O-oh…"
"What?" you tilted your head, confused by his reaction.
"I just— um, I was trying to figure out how it feels in general… I never even… I never thought about how you feel…"
Your face heated up a bit.
"Does every girl feel different?" he realized, leaning in a little closer to listen to your reply.
"That's what I've heard," you shrugged.  "Every guy feels different."
"Different how?  Like, bigger or smaller?"
"Not just that— sometimes you can feel, like, the head and stuff…" you explained, continuing when Eddie looked a little confused, "like, if the head is really big you can feel the edge of it.  Or if he's uncut you can sorta feel that too, in the way he strokes.  And then there's how curved it is…"
Eddie's stare was a little glassy.  "You can feel all that?  Just with your pussy?"
You nodded.
"That's…" he trailed off, clearing his throat.  "Yeah.  Cool."
The way he was clearly flustered by all this made your hips shift against the floor for a second.  You and Eddie had obviously had pretty raunchy conversations before (see the aforementioned post-BJ phone call) and sure, sometimes they kinda turned you on… but this one felt a little different.  Usually if you felt that feeling while talking to him about something it was because you were remembering something you'd done before; this was the first time you were actually imagining something.  Something, specifically, happening with you and Eddie.
"You know…" you started before shaking your head and scoffing.  "Nevermind.  Too weird."
"What?  Nothing's too weird with me," he grinned— one of his teeth was drawn out in black for the costume, and he looked pretty silly.
"I was just… I dunno," you shrugged.  "If I tell you, you won't be, like, offended, right?"
"Well, I guess it depends on how offensive it is."
You sighed.  "Just don't judge me, okay?"
"Never."
"I was thinking, if you wanted, you could… try it out.  With me."
He froze.  "Try… sex?"
He'd dropped his head lower between his shoulders as he said the last word.  You nodded briefly.  "Yeah."
You couldn't even begin to describe the look on his face.  "Well, that's… not offensive."
Already you felt ridiculous, and you shook your head as you started to backtrack.  "I'm sorry if that was a really weird idea, I'm not trying to—"
"No, no!  It's okay," he assured, reaching out towards you for a second but not actually touching you.  "I just… didn't think you would say that. Um. Yeah. So, we would just, like, do it?"
"If you want to."
"I mean, not that you're not— you're gorgeous," he promised, talking over himself, "you know I think so.  But you're my best friend.  Wait— no.  You're gorgeous and you're my best friend.  It won't make stuff weird with us, right?"
You raised an eyebrow.  "Are you gonna make it weird?"
"No more than usual," he smirked.
"Then, no. It wouldn't be weird.  It would just be, like, a friend helping a friend out," you decided, "like how I hadn't tried LSD 'til I met you.  You can try this, with me."
"Yeah, but," he lowered his voice, scooching a little closer, "this is different.  I gave you drugs but you… you're the drug.  It's your body, and you're giving it to me."
You fought the urge to bite your lip.  "Yeah," you agreed, "I don't mind.  Just use me for a bit."
Eddie's throat bobbed as he swallowed, mouth falling open for a second.  "Use you?" he repeated.  "God, why is that hot?"
"'Cause guys are always into that— they wanna feel powerful or whatever," you explained with a snort of a laugh.  "Wanna feel like they're conquering something."
"Heh," he laughed nervously as he reached up to scratch the back of his neck, "are we all so predictable?"
You smiled at him, leaning closer slightly and tilting your head down to look up at him through your lashes.  "I dunno," you teased, "but I'm predicting you're gonna take me up on this."
"Fuck yeah I am," he decided, grabbing your face to pull you closer— but then suddenly stopping.  "Fuck, wait, can I kiss you?"
You blinked quickly.  "Um, yeah," you decided.
For all that bravado before, he hesitated before he did kiss you… and it was actually pretty sweet, and gentle, and way too short.  Yes, it did feel sort of weird knowing you were kissing Eddie, your best friend since 4th grade, but not a bad kind of weird, necessarily.
He was smiling at you already when he pulled back.  "You know you don't have to do all that, right?" you reminded him.
"I-I know.  I'd feel weird about it if I didn't kiss you first, though," he explained.  "And, you know.  Kissing is nice.  Friends can kiss."
"Yeah," you laughed.
"We can, uh, go to the bedroom," he offered.  "Not that it wouldn't be fun to do it on the floor surrounded by our candy quarry— just, uh, not how I pictured my first time."
"Well, either way," you replied as you both stood up, following him across the trailer to the bedroom, "it's not who you pictured your first time with."
"Yeah, well, Joan Jett was busy tonight," he laughed, and you laughed with him, falling onto the bed together with a sigh.  You'd done that a lot before— but sitting up on your side, facing him, starting to touch his chest delicately through his shirt… that was new.
"Do you want me to ride you, or—?" you started to offer.
"No! No," he sighed, "I wanna— like you said, use you, right?  I want you to, uh, lay back, and I can go as fast or as slow as I want."
You smiled a little.  "Okay," you agreed, "but— I should probably take this dress off first."
"Let me help," Eddie offered, even though you didn't actually need any help.  You turned away from him and felt his hands delicately unzip the back of the gown; the ghost of his touch on your spine made you nearly shiver.
Once it was unzipped, you shimmied out of the garment and tossed it aside, leaving you in just your bra and panties (and the tiara, which you'd forgotten about.
You laid back on the bed for him to climb on top of you, which he did, his eyes running all over your body.  "Listen, I know you're already doing me a really big favor," he cleared his throat, "but, uh, maybe… maybe you could show me your tits?"
You grinned and reached under your back to unclasp your bra, hearing him sigh a little at the sight of your bare chest.
"Can I—?"
"Sure," you answered instantly.  Of course, you thought he was about to say touch them, so you gasped in shock when he actually latched his lips onto them, suckling at your nipples eagerly.  "F-fuck, Ed…"
"Wow," he breathed when he pulled back, "they're really sensitive."
“Yeah,” you agreed, deciding not to mention that that wasn’t always the case.  “I can’t help but notice that you’re still in your pirate get-up there, Munson.”
He smirked.  “Unfair, isn’t it?”
Nodding, you watched him sit back on his feet so he could pull his shirt off over his head.  You'd seen him shirtless plenty of times before, but the toned torso with a decent scattering of dark hair and even darker tattoos was always a welcome sight.  He'd gotten even more muscular in the last couple years, something you'd sort of tried not to notice, but you couldn't fight the urge to run your hand over his chest and pecs when they were exposed.
“Is that better?” he grinned, but you laughed loudly right away when you saw one of his teeth was still blacked out for the costume.  He wrinkled his eyebrows before he seemed to remember, looking a bit more shy for a moment.  “R-right, sorry…”
He reached into his mouth and scrubbed the black marks off with the pad of his finger, licking the tooth for good measure before showing his teeth again.
“Back to normal?” he asked.
“Yeah,” you answered, “good as new.”
Your hand was still on his chest, lightly, and he got a little more serious as he took it and guided it down: over his slight abs and down to the thick bulge in his pants.  You sighed a little at the feeling of it through the leather, he was so hard and warm even through the heavy material.
"Damn, you're big," you noticed.
"Really?" he grinned.  "Fuck, okay."
"I should've known you would have a big cock," you laughed, rubbing him a little firmer through the pants, "you've got that way about you."
"Oh?  I didn't— I didn't think it was that big," he mumbled.
You smiled and pulled your hand out of the way as he shimmied the pants down his thighs, exposing his erection that bounced back up to his belly button.  (Yes, it reached that far, and you felt a little dizzy.)
"So," he broke the silence, "that's… that's my dick."
"Y-yeah," you nodded, sounding a little hoarse.
He let you stare at it blankly for a while before clearing his throat, tearing you out of your trance to look up at him; he smirked at you proudly, the smut bastard.  "You're looking at me different now.  You look… well, you're kinda drooling."
"Yeah… sorry…" you murmured absent-mindedly.
"No, don't be," he assured.  "You know, the girl that gave me that blowjob, she could only take it to about here before she choked."
He held his finger up to halfway down his shaft, and your hips shifted.  "I could get it deeper," you announced.
"Oh, you will," he promised, "but not with your mouth— I don't have any use for your mouth, babe.  You promised me your pussy, that's what I want.  And she's gonna take all of it."
"Are you talking dirty to me now?" you noticed.
"It might be dirty, but it's true," he smiled, falling down on top of you and holding himself up with bent elbows beside your head.  "You can still back out, you know," he reminded you.  "No judgment. We'll go back to normal."
"We were never normal, Eddie," you reminded him.
"Right," he grinned, "but still.  Are you sure?"
"Yeah— if you are."
He kissed you again, right when you least expected it.  "Yeah," he whispered when he pulled back slightly.  "I'm sure.  I, uh, think it's about time that I lost it, don't you?"
Nodding in agreement, you reached down and wiggled yourself out of your panties, totally naked under him.  He sighed slowly and looked down for a moment— only to look back up with his lip between his teeth.  
"Fuck. Okay. Are you ready?" he asked.
"Are you?" you returned— he looked pretty nervous, shaking a bit, breathing heavy.
"Yeah, fuck, I've been ready for this for years," he laughed breathlessly.  "Just didn't think… yeah, fuck.  Didn't think it would happen tonight."
"Well, if you keep stalling, maybe it won't," you smirked.
"Okay, okay— no more stalling.  I'm gonna… I'm gonna fuck you now."
He sounded like he was convincing himself more than you— but a moment later, he plunged forward and filled you with his cock.
He shivered as he pressed his hips up to yours, moaning weakly.  For a moment, you couldn't help but bite your lip at the feeling of him buried all the way inside you, but thankfully he didn't notice: his eyes were shut tight and his head tossed back.
You sat up, barely, just enough to put your lips by his ear.  "You're not a virgin anymore, Eddie," you whispered to him.
He sighed, then laughed slightly.  "I guess not."
"How's it feel to be inside a pussy?" you asked, genuinely curious for his reaction.  "Compared to a blowjob."
"God, it's— it's so much better," he panted.
"Really?  Some guys really seem to prefer getting blown even though it's not nearly as fun for—"
"No, fuck, this is better," he insisted quickly.  "Your… your pussy feels so— and it's— fuck, so warm, warmer than a mouth.  And… and really tight— god, it's so… squishy?"
You laughed.  "That's not a very sexy way of describing it."
"W-well, sorry," he laughed too, breathlessly, "that's how it feels.  You're— thank you for, uh, letting me do this."
"Yeah," you agreed with a smile, relaxing into the mattress under you and noticing the way he was staring down at your face.
"I can move, right?"
You nodded; he shuddered a little as he pulled his hips back and pushed forward again.  He caught you watching his face, so you shut your eyes quickly and just focused on the feeling.  It had actually been a while since you had a hook-up, and though you didn’t expect this to last very long, you could at least just enjoy it for now.
"Fuck," he breathed, "it's so… sticky.  Fuck."
“Sticky?” you repeated.
“I-in a good way,” he added quickly.  “God, I just… you’re really wet, s’all.”
Eyes still closed, you felt a smile trying to creep up on your face.  You could tell he wanted to know why you were so wet, specifically he wanted you to say that he made you that way, but you decided his ego was already getting enough stroking for the night.
His breathing was heavy and slow, but the pace of his hips picked up.  When you blinked your eyes open, he was staring down at where he was fucking into you; that made you feel a little exposed, but oddly powerful, too.  "Wow," he groaned, "I— I love watching it.  The way it, like… splits open, around my cock… fuck.  That's really sexy."
His next thrust was a little harder, his hips colliding with the back of your thighs as you wrapped your legs around him.
"Mm," you moaned softly, adjusting yourself under him a bit.  "That's nice— you feel good."
"Really?  Fuck, I couldn't feel half as good as you do," he grunted, "'cause if I did you wouldn't be able to be so quiet."
"I'm just listening to you," you explained with a smirk.
"Can you feel the, uh, head?  Like you said before?"
You nodded.  "It's rubbing this one place inside me— it feels good."
"Oh, fuck," he purred, starting to move faster.  "Tell me that again."
"It feels good, Eddie," you groaned, "you feel good."
"Fu-uck," he whined, shutting his eyes tight and tilting his head back.  "How good?"
You knew he could be a little competitive, and you smirked slightly.  "Better than the other guys," you answered, figuring that was what he wanted to hear.
"Do you— fuck— do you let a lotta guys do this?" he asked roughly.  "Just— use you, to come?"
You shook your head.  "No— I need something from them, they have to make me come.  But you don't have to, Eddie, I don't need you to do anything to me except whatever you want."
"God," he choked, "that's— fuck. you're way too nice.  I-I’m gonna— fuck, I don’t think I can last very long.”
You just smiled and reached up to hold onto his shoulder.  “S’fine, you can come— I want you to.”
“Really?” he whined.  “Fuck, I’m not very good at this, am I?”
“Just come,” you encouraged, “it’s okay, Eddie, just come inside me—”
The second you said that, he groaned weakly, head falling onto your shoulder; you felt it a second later as he gave you a few more weak thrusts, the flexing of his cock as he finished inside.  Sighing in satisfaction, you shut your eyes and wrapped your arms around him tightly.  
After a long silence, with his heavy breathing falling on your ear, Eddie rolled off and onto his back beside you on the mattress.  “You look different,” you giggled as you turned to look at him while he stared up at the ceiling.
“I feel different,” he agreed.  “That was— yeah.  That was different.”
“Good different?”
He looked back at you, finally, with raised eyebrows.  “Are you jok— yeah!  Fuck yeah, that was— Christ.”
There was another long silence, maybe a few minutes’ worth, but it wasn’t uncomfortable at all.  You and Eddie were always pretty good at silences.  This one was heavier, and more meaningful, but just as natural as usual: until he broke it.
“Wanna do it again?” he asked softly.
Your eyes widened.  “Uh— fuck, now?”
“Yeah,” he grinned at you.  “I’m still— maybe this time you could actually— you know, uh—”
You bit your lip as he stammered over a few different sentences.
“Or if that’s all you wanna do, you know, with me, that’s fine,” he promised, “but, um… I feel bad, you know, that you didn’t…”
“Okay, yeah,” you agreed quickly, “I mean, if you can still—”
You hadn’t even finished your sentence before he was inside you again.  Moaning louder, you tilted your head back and held onto his sides as he fucked you; his mouth latched onto your neck and you let out a small whimper.  “Fuck,” he mumbled against your skin, “fuck— you feel so good…”
“I— Eddie, I didn’t think you could—” you began.
“I didn’t think I could either,�� he laughed, “but it’s just— fuck, you’re so… I just need to— god…”
His thrusts were harder and faster than they’d been before, and everything was so slick with his come still leaking out of you; it was filthy in the best way.
“I didn’t think you’d let me do it twice.  I… I really don’t deserve this,” he insisted quietly.
"Yeah, you do," you breathed.  "You're so sweet, Eddie, you're my best friend— dunno what I'd do without you—"
"I lied," he blurted out suddenly.  "I thought about it before.  About how you would feel."
You barely even remembered the part of the conversation he was talking about.  
"All the time, god, I thought about it all the time," he admitted with a lowered voice, resting his head on your shoulder, fucking you even deeper until your eyes rolled back.  "Thought about it while I jerked myself off— how your pussy would feel.  And it's so much better than I thought it'd be.  You're really tight— I didn't know if you would be, 'cause, y'know, you're a slut."
You wanted to correct him on that old myth about tightness and promiscuity, but you were too busy trying not to moan so loud the next door trailers would hear.
"Fuck," he laughed, "you got even tighter when I called you that.  Slut."
"Freak," you choked out through a moan, your instinctive response.
"You haven't seen the freak yet, princess," he smirked proudly, lifting his head up to look down at you.  "I wanted to fuck you different than this, too— I thought about fucking you from behind.  Smacking your ass and watching it bounce on me.  Making you fucking scream."
"God, Eddie," you whined.
"Is this how they talk to you?  All those guys you let put their cocks in you, do they treat you like this?"
"N-not exactly…"
"Well, that's too bad," he whispered, "'cause I can tell this is how you like it.  Am I wrong?  Do you like being fucked like a whore, and called one?"
"Yes," you sobbed, "yes, Eddie, I… I like it rough.  And mean."
He chuckled.  "That explains a lot.  I can be mean, sweetheart."
The kiss he planted on your cheek, though, was gentle and delicate.
"Or I can be nice," he added in a whisper.  "I can be whatever you want."
“Just… be yourself,” you decided, sounding more like an inspirational poster than you intended to.  He smiled and kissed you on the lips after that, reaching down to hold onto your thighs.
Well, it turns out Eddie ‘being himself’ in bed means fucking you mercilessly.  And he was holding onto you mainly to keep you steady so he could rail you halfway to fucking death.
It was useless trying to keep quiet now, while he treated you this way, and so your loud moans were muffled only by his lips on yours; until, of course, he broke away and you could hear them echoing around the messy bedroom.
"So good," he grunted, "so— so fucking good.  Such a perfect pussy, can't believe you're letting me use it.  I'm so fucking lucky— my best friend is a hot slut, I'm so lucky—"
You arched your back a little deeper still, clinging to him tightly, feeling totally helpless in the best possible way.
"Gonna let me use this pussy again?" he taunted.
"Yeah," you breathed.
"Whenever I want, right?  You can be my little toy, baby.  Your pussy can be my toy."
"Yes!"
"And I'll keep you so full of come," he promised, "so full, all the fucking time, you're gonna make my cock feel so good— fuck, baby, you're gonna let me get my cock wet all the time."
"Yeah, Eddie, fuck," you moaned.  
"You're so pretty," he blurted out, and you almost laughed because of the sudden change of tone.  "God, baby, you're so pretty— you look so pretty like this."
"On my back?" you smirked.
"N-no, you don't understand," he whined, leaning down so his chest was pressed to yours, whispering against your ear.  "You're beautiful."
You smiled a little, holding onto him tighter.
"And I thought that before you let me fuck you," he promised.  "I always thought you were beautiful.  And that it should be me and not those guys you go home with."
"Y-you were right," you admitted, "but— we're still just… just friends, right?"
"Shut up, you're not fucking listening," he groaned, "I— god, I love you, okay?"
Your eyes were definitely just watering because of the intensity of it all; you hid your face in his shoulder, biting your lip, feeling your toes curl just above where your ankles were crossed around his hips.
"I love you and we can't just be friends anymore.  You feel too good… I'm sorry, baby, we can't just be friends, I fucking need you."
“I— fuck, Eddie,” you whined.
“You love me too, right?” he breathed.  Shyly, you nodded against him.  “Then say it— baby, please, I need you to say it.”
“I love you too,” you choked out.  “I need you too—”
"Oh my god I'm gonna come again," he gasped, tilting his head back.  "Fuck fuck fuck, I'm gonna come inside you again.  You're gonna be so full, baby.  Gonna fuck you so full…"
“F-fuck, please, please,” you sobbed, your beaten walls clenching up every time he slammed himself into you all the way— it was too deep, but the right amount of too deep, somehow.  “Please, Eddie, fuck!”
“I’m coming,” he grunted in a low and gravelly voice that made your spine tingle, “I— fuck, I’m coming again, fuck—”
This time, he stopped completely and suddenly, burying himself inside you with a long, deep moan.  He slipped his arms under your arched back and hugged you tightly.  This silence was much longer than the last, and a little less comfortable; there were all these questions hanging in it, including but not limited to: did he really mean all that?  Did I really mean all that?  Why haven’t we been doing this the whole time?  Why is he so good at that?  Are we dating now?  Is this going to ruin everything?
It didn’t seem like it would ruin anything— actually, to you, everything felt right in a way it never had.  You’d never really admitted to yourself how you felt about Eddie, let alone anyone else— let alone him, right now, in the middle of some spontaneous sex that you thought was going to change everything but actually made things suspiciously the same as ever.
That was what you realized, then: that this hadn’t actually changed anything.  You’d loved him before tonight.  You’d wanted this for a while.  You’d needed him as long as you could remember.  Everything could continue on as normal— except, hopefully, and presumably, that you’d be fucking a lot more.
As your mind raced, Eddie’s was completely and totally blank in a way it never had been in his life.  He was entirely blissed out, and only came to when you shifted under him and made him hiss in a breath through his teeth.
Lifting his head, he looked down at you, reaching up to pet your cheek with his thumb and hum happily to himself.  That moment couldn’t last too long, though, especially when he realized he’d failed at his goal: “Shit,” he groaned, “you didn’t come that time either, did you?” 
You shook your head sheepishly, about to assure him that it was fine— there’d be other chances, clearly, and tonight was already more than perfect without that.  He’d still done way better than you could’ve ever expected for a guy who was a virgin half an hour ago.  
But before you could say any of that, he’d pulled you into a lazy, yet hungry, kiss; he smiled against your lips as his tongue carefully teased yours, holding your face in his hands.  You were totally dazed when he pulled away, blinking up at him with totally undeserved innocence, and he had the most devilish look in his eyes.  “Guess that means we’ll have to go for another round, huh?” he asked.  But it wasn’t a question: he’d decided, and so had you.
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