#my aroace journey

[spaceumbredoggos]

I don’t feel sexual or romantic attraction. But I do participate in sexual behaviors. I will have consensual sex, but only for pleasure and not for intimacy. Think of a friends with benefits ish situation. I’m platonically attracted to personalities. I don’t care about “sexy” bodies.

Even then, I’m really reserved when I engage in sexual behaviors such as masterbating. I have fantasies and they’re kinda out there.

That’s how I figured out I was aroace. Asexuality isn’t an absence of sexual behaviors. It is the absence of sexual attraction. Sex to me is just a means to reproduce or feel good.

[idmnbc]

Phrases I love in “How To Be A Normal Person” by TJ Klune now that I’m reading for a second time this beautiful book:

Before he fell asleep at precisely 11:00 p.m., he looked up at the ceiling and said, “Today was an okay day. Tomorrow will be too.” And he almost believed it.

“… Something tells me that I’m going to be in here quite a bit as I’ve decided that you and I are going to be friends.” And then he winked. That was the moment Gustavo Tiberius realized he was most certainly doomed.

“… Maybe smoke a little, drink a little, cry a little if you have to, and remember me a lot. But be happy. You promise me. That’s all I ever wanted for you was to be happy forever. You make me happy, Gustavo Tiberius. You make me the happiest I’ve ever been. Because as much as I love this little clay pipe, you will always be the greatest thing I have ever created.”

But here was Casey, stoned, confusing Casey who was hugging Gus like they did it every day, and he wasn’t even put off by the fact that Gus had yet to hug him back. And Casey had been right, he was good at hugging. Their bodies were perfectly lined up with each other, barely a space between them. Casey’s arms were under Gus’s, hands clasped at the back. Gus cold feel Casey’s breath on his neck, and it wasn’t sexy, it wasn’t arousing, it was just… it was good. It was sweet and kind, and Gus hadn’t realized how much he’d missed being hugged.

“Eep,” Casey said. Gus made a strangled noise because it was not adorable when Casey did that. And what the hell was the word adorable doing in his vocabulary?

“Trying something different,” Casey said. “Los Angeles was getting too crowded for me, and I couldn’t think. I thought maybe some mountain air would do me good.” He glanced quickly at Gus before looking back as the We Three Queens. “Seems I was right.”

“… It’s not a secret, nor is it meant to be, but it shows a sign of trust and comfort to be told.” Gus was quiet for a moment. Then, “He gives really good hugs.” The We Three Queens sighed. “Ah, to be young again,” Bernice said, hands clasped over her heart. “Hugging is wonderful,” Bertha said. “We should hug more,” Betty said.

If you had told Gus even a week ago that a bow tie worn by a bearded guy who could pull off a man bun, for fuck’s sake, would be the beginning of his downfall, most likely he would have glowered at you until you returned to the pit from which you had crawled with the sole purpose of saying something ridiculous.

“Yeah,” Gus said. “Totally. I can totally see that. Great story. Right on, brotha.” Casey grinned. “You okay, man?” “I’m epic,” Gus said. “I’m so epic, I’m like the Lord of the Rings musical score by Howard Shore, ya know?” “Cool,” Casey said. “I never saw those movies.” “They’re epic,” Gus said. “Just… boom.” “Yeah,” Casey said. “I saw the commercials. I was, like, ten years old.” Well, if that didn’t make Gus feel old as fuck.

Gus glared at him. “Nothing you just said should be used to describe anyone ever,” but he wondered just how much Casey could see him. Or, rather, how much he wanted to show to Casey. Not in a Share Bear way, of course, because what the fuck. But other ways? Maybe. Maybe a lot. And god, if that didn’t scare the shit out of him.

However, it was a low thing, a negligible thing, outweighed by that bright, damning feeling in his chest. As his fingers brushed against the hair at the back of Casey’s neck, Gus understood if for what it was. Happiness. It was happiness. Gus was a little dumbstruck with the idea that he couldn’t remember the last time he’d felt happy. And why was it that it would be happening now. Simple answer, those. He hadn’t been happy since Pastor Tommy died. He was happy now because of an asexual hipster. He was so fucking screwed.

Bertha frowned. “Now you’re generalizing and that’s not fair. Sex and romance don’t always have to go hand in hand, Gustavo. And there’s a difference between being asexual and aromantic. Asexuals experiencia little to no sexual attraction. Aromantics experience little to no romantic attraction. They’re not the same. And you can be one without the other. Or both. Or neither.”

And three days before the last time he went into the hospital and thirteen days before he died, he said, “I believe in you, Gus. I believe that you’ll take care of things after I’m gone. I believe that you’ll be strong and brave and that you’ll be so good. I wish I could be here to see everything you’ll accomplish, but just know that wherever I am and wherever you are, I’ll always believe in you.” Gus’s hands had shook and his voice had gone away but he’d nodded, and Pastor Tommy, that has been enough. For Pastor Tommy, Gus had always been enough.

“What?” he asked, still hearing the laughter in his voice, noticing how Casey hadn’t moved away. “Nothing,” Bernice said, recovering first. “It’s nice. You know. Hearing you laugh. It’s just nice, is all.” “It is, isn’t?” Casey said, briefly touching his forehead to Gus’s temple. Gus wondered if this was what Pastor Tommy had meant by having belief.

“Yes,” Casey said as he nodded furiously. “All the dates. Like, so many dates. You’re not even going to believe how many dates.” “There aren’t even numbers for how many dates we’ll go on,” Gus said, pretty sure he could smell the burning that must have been pouring from his ears as his brain broke down. “They’ll have to make up numbers just to quantify how many dates we’ll go on.”

[httyd-art-requests]

Happy 100th dragon post! 🎉

(I talk in tags!)

Requests are currently closed!

[muscari-melpomene]

Aroace Sasha Rackett is so important to me send tweet

[theroseredreaper]

being aspec in the world of Pokémon would be so fucking rad. Like why the fuck would I need romance when I can just go on a journey with my team of six super powered best friends as we take on the world via the power of our bonds

[whoishotteranimepolls]

"Who's Hotter?" Pride Month Event: Canon/Coded Aroace

[lavaflowe]

How I imagine Wukong and Bajie’s first meeting went LMAO

[prince-liest]

How did you figure out you're aromantic?

Oh, god, what a short question for such a long process, hahaha. First off, didn't figure it out until recently, age 27, but here was the approximate (and very truncated in the amount of internal conflict and introspection involved) step-by-step process:

Figured out I was queer in high school because I felt the same way about women as I did about men! Spent about 5 years thinking I was bisexual.

Figured out that I'm not actually attracted to men when I read a post describing the experience of compulsory heterosexuality and related with it intensely, which was a very freeing experience. Spent 6 years thinking I was a (nonbinary) lesbian!

Hooked up at parties a couple of times out of curiosity and then took up my best friend's offer to fuck and realized that I got the same amount of skin-crawling distaste about that as I did about sexual contact with men, thus realizing I was ace.

Let that domino tip over into the, "Actually, identifying as gay has for a long time given me the same anxiety as I used to feel when I thought I'd have to date a man, and also I'm 27 years old and have never, ever actually wanted to date another human being. When people ask me what my ideal partner is like, I start listing off ways in which they should not bother me or demand my time or be part of my life. Maybe I just don't want... anyone." domino, and the subsequent "I'M FREE!! (from trying to date women)" euphoria was identical to the "I'M FREE!! (from trying to date men)" euphoria, so.

That's where I'm at!

I'm a generally introspective person, but I'm also really great at gaslighting myself into ignoring my own discomfort, so largely it's been, haha, a diagnosis of exclusion. First I excluded men, then the discomfort with women grew large enough that I was able to exclude them as well. Reading about other people's experiences and realizing where they paralleled my own was immensely helpful! So was being close friends with a very poly person who slowly and fully unintentionally changed my perspective on how I view relationships in a very poly-and-relationship-anarchy-as-default way, which incidentally is extremely compatible with aroace queerplatonic ideals and definitely softened me up to be ready to accept that particular realization.

Also, please let this be a sign that just because you identify with one "thing" doesn't mean that you're committing to it forever! <3

[aretheyqueer]

Is she asexual?

disclaimer: this is a hc, not speculating on what the writers intentions were.

allosexual = not on the asexual spectrum

reason: She is so autistically aroace. She learns how to look at people through their clothes and just thinks it's great to know a new spell. Please. Please agree

[flowerbwrites]

Thoughts about aro/ace grief

There is a certain grief that comes with being asexual/aromantic. You lose out on all those “American dreams” that society has pushed on you since birth and the dream your parents had and the idea that you’d dance with your dad at your wedding. There’s so many things that you will never fully understand. It is othering, distancing.

It’s always hard to be on the outside looking in. To literally be defined by your lack of something. The important fact that brings me back is that I love my life. So why am I bothered by what “should” have been? I’m happy. That is my focus when I feel grief creeping in. It’s a journey of figuring myself out and reaching acceptance.

[mothersgaia]

When you realise that love feels amazing and it is felt in so many more ways than just romantic and sexual, everything will feel so much better.

More freeing, less pressure, all love.

[confusedsiewmai]

Sometimes, I don't like looking at Frieren fandom things is because it feels so alienating as an aroace person sometimes.

I relate to Frieren in a lot of ways. The way she goes through life at her own speed, the way she has a certain way of doing things that is hard to change, the way she struggles to fully understand others but is still compassionate and tries, and last but not least, the way she doesn't feel romantic or sexual attraction the way most people do.

So when a fan posts something about how elves like Frieren don't really feel romantic or sexual attraction and it's wonderful that Himmel's unrequited love with her is still portrayed as something beautiful, healthy and valued, but the comments section is just filled with people being like: No!!!! That's not true!!! Frieren loves Himmel even though she doesn't realise it!!!!

Or even the more "generous" ones are like: No!!! She is just falling in love with him years later!!! The whole story is about how she regrets not pursuing it until it was too late!!!!

And like, every person has their own interpretation and ships. But it really is a bit saddening as an aroace person that sees Frieren also as an aroace who probably would never feel as much romantic love for Himmel EVER. People have almost this... need to correct people that Frieren loves Himmel romantically.

[idmnbc]

I’m finally reading again this beautiful book but this time in paper. Can’t be more grateful.

[feli026]

Hope y'all have a great month

[m-mangan-art]

Pride month art!

Day 6: Frieren from 'Frieren: Beyond Journey's End' who is aroace!

[alloru]

frieren fanart once again!! this time in adorable chibi form! :>

I can't help it - the story is just that good! the world and magic system are intricately fleshed out, with endearing characters and resonating themes.

plus the character designs are so adorable!! I caught up the manga pretty much immediately after finishing episode 12 (because I thought the series was over then... oops) and haven't been able to let it go for long since.

I just want to write a love letter to this series. but for now doing fanart will have to do!

have a fantastical next 24 hours and make some time to spend with your loved ones. it's important ^v^