#my evil scheme of indecision...

[nullcanreturntoyouby]

was it worth it, even if you failed?

I tried to warn you about that program, that- that "game"... and what it really is... But you didn't listen to me. That's not- I couldn't- whether or not you actually listened isn't something I... I can control. But I warned you, and that- that is what I needed to do. So... yeah.

[queenvhagar]

Another failure of HOTD in my opinion is making Otto look like some exceptionally skeevy and plotting man for... acting like any reasonable man in-universe would and in fact did act?

Like HOTD wants you to think this war is entirely the fault of Otto and his poisoning of Alicent's mind to turn away from Rhaenyra, as if Rhaenyra didn't push Alicent away herself after years of Alicent seeking reconciliation...

The truth is that whoever Viserys married and had sons with then THAT family would be at conflict with Rhaenyra as the first female named heir. The moment Viserys had any trueborn son and failed to make him heir was the moment that war and violence was all but guaranteed. Due to traditions of Andal law dating back thousands of years and most recently reaffirmed in the Great Council, sons come before daughters and males come before females, with the only exception being daughters come before uncles, which is why Rhaenyra was named in the first place, but once she had a brother, the strength of her claim faltered. The only way she could ever rule unchallenged would be to eliminate the threats of the claims of any trueborn sons her father had.

THIS is the truth that Otto told Alicent and that she told her children, and it's not something that Otto just made up out of nowhere to manipulate people. No matter who Viserys married and had sons with, this is what they would face.

And it would not matter how Rhaenyra felt about it or how hard any of her brothers tried to "cleave to her and pray for mercy." Short of marrying them, she would have to exile or kill them, or anyone who disagreed with her rule would push for their arguably stronger claim instead of hers and make war in their name.

It would make no difference if that wife was a Hightower, or a Velaryon, or a Lannister, or a Baratheon. They would face this same crisis. And you can bet that those houses and families wouldn't just leave their daughter and her sons out to dry and let them be killed. They sure as hell would maneuver to try to get to a position of power where they could avoid that fate. And that's exactly what Otto and Alicent did.

We can talk about how Otto sent Alicent wearing her mother's dress to the king to comfort him in his grief, but we shouldn't at the same time ignore Corlys and Rhaenys sending their even younger daughter all dressed up to talk with the king and try to convince him to marry her (and even instruct her to say that she would make him happy and give him children). The reality is most families wanted and tried to get their blood on the throne. Otto is not some especially evil creep for wanting this - all men who had a daughter of marrying age (or almost) in this situation were trying to put them before the king, and the king chose Alicent. We should be critiquing this system that existed where men put their young daughters before older men to be married off to a successful family in the hopes of giving them better prospects in life and their family more prestige. But instead the show and the majority of fans want to focus on one individual man and ignore everything else. Because the Greens are the designated villains and the Blacks are heroes who can't do any wrong, when Otto wants his blood on the throne it's scheming and manipulative, but when Corlys wants his blood on the throne, it's viewed as him wanting to preserve his legacy and honor his family.

Once again, it was Viserys who is the one to blame for starting the war. He chose to remarry and have more children. He chose to not change the succession once he had sons while also choosing not to change succession law to guarantee his daughter would have no issue inheriting. His inaction and indecision caused this unavoidable conflict, and the blame for the war is on his head.

[goldensunset]

for drawing requests, perhaps the khux gang with what pokemon they'd have? (or maybe just a few of them lol)

ok i would Love to actually draw this kinda thing someday but it would take more than i have in me atm so i will simply ramble about it. some of these are what i think they would realistically have in some sort of pokémon au and half of these are just like pokémon i think match their vibe

first off. the entire porygon line fits brain PERFECTLY. it’s like an artificial computer program thing (also its existence is meant to be an ironic fourth wall break lol). meant to be a helpful program that fights bugs and viruses in cyberspace. its final evolution porygon-z is where it gets interesting… it has grown in power, but it’s been corrupted by dubious data itself…….. as another option uhhhhh gallade. a very noble and mindful and steadfast soldier. i just love gallade. he also deserves a steel type. screw it klefki the literal key ring pokémon

lauriam was born to have a roserade let’s be so real it’s grass/poison… looks like a lovely bouquet of flowers but it can Kill you… plus it even has like the dapper cape thing. it’s a no brainer from me on this one. but i’ll give him a runner up or two. he deserves some ghost types too, becoming a shell of himself… i’m feeling poltchageist/sinistcha. grass/ghost types associated with like hospitality and seeming all proper but also it’s a ruse and they will kill you. cofagrigus is a consideration almost entirely only for its pokémon sword entry that says it ‘no longer remembers it was once human’ and also like grabbing and trapping the living. marluxia…

would it be funny to give strelitzia a grass/ghost type like phantump (dead child) or is that too sad. ok how about she gets lilligant. very beautiful elegant grass type with an orange flower. alternatively she gets floette- it’s not a grass type but like very clearly associated with flowers (and also. dying. if we’re taking gen 6 lore info account. and then being brought back to life but at devastating costs and turning the person who was desperate to do so into a monster)

skuld……… i’m really indecisive here. i think psychic and fire and steel are all good choices. first thoughts here it’s gotta be something to do with stars of course. y’know what? i think she deserves cosmog privileges. little star baby that can evolve into one of two legendary pokémon. she has that aura. (if i don’t just straight up give her necrozma lol). but also gothitelle is a really good pick for her bc it’s associated with both the stars and with seeing the future (although the emotional detachment and terror don’t fit that well). maybe delphox? but also she deserves a sword. honedge. screw it. zacian. skuld deserves a legendary

ventus….. if we’re talking khux era specifically my immediate thought was mimikyu. it’s Gotta be mimikyu. desperate for love and attention, taking the form of someone else and trying to fit in…. and zorua of course!!! i mean ig it’s more like zorua would be his darkness that shapeshifted to deceive him but like that works!! that works. the tricky fox pokémon… and because i’m not done being evil i want him to have a pokémon with the ability infiltrator. cute option is whimsicott. option relevant to vanitas’ later existence is ninjask (bc think about shedinja…) option relevant to him probably deserving a flying type is the hoppip line

elrena gets electric types obviously but she isn’t quite as vicious as larxene so she gets like. pachirisu. plus the color scheme works. or shinx

and last but not least ephemer the guy of all ever. this one is really hard….others have assigned him pokémon before that i agree with, such as rosie giving him arcanine (he deserves an Ouppy and it’s a noble majestic beast) and roadie giving him eldegoss (dandelion seeds….). it’s a wild thought but i also kind of think of mew… bc it’s said to be kinda like the genetic ancestor of all pokémon… the nexus from which all worlds spring… i think ephy deserves some sort of mythical or legendary. i’m feeling victini… he always wins somehow am i right… and he’s like sora’s good luck victory charm in kh3… but also i think he should have a water type. suicune privileges be upon ye. no yknow what he gets volcarona it has the fire type and it’s like worshipped as a sun deity for having saved the land. idk. half this post is me trying to justify giving my favs to my characters lol

oh and how could i forget the player… immediate thought is spinda. there are something like four billion different forms right. representing how player is a customizable avatar. for deeper lore reasons how about basculegion the ghost fish. ‘clads itself in the souls of comrades that perished before fulfilling their goals of journeying upstream’ those who didn’t make it out of the keyblade war or out of the fall of daybreak town etc still remain with them in spirit giving them strength, although they were the only one strong enough to survive…. (also it evolves by taking a ton of damage without dying. well it kinda does die but that’s beyond the point right)

i could probably say more and make this more coherent and provide better choices but unfortunately i think the sickness brain has finally caught up to me so i’m gonna finally hit post

[thegreymoon]

The Story of Minglan

I am so damn tired. I don't know how other people manage to hold down jobs and have families and get all their shit together and still manage to find time for things they enjoy.

I can't manage to eke out time for one episode of a drama, let alone something more challenging. I will try at least half tonight and maybe continue tomorrow. I hate everything 😢

***

OK, I laughed 🤣🤣

***

God, I'm so face-blind 😭

Is this that royal cousin that he once saved in the middle of nowhere?

Are we getting to the royal plots now? I feel like I'm really struggling here with the transition from the last arc to this one.

***

Yup, it's him, I just went back and checked my old screenshots.

***

Oh, shit.

Assassins!

Anyway, here's to random Imperial cousin Zhao becoming the new Emperor!

Maybe he can even let Gu Tingye retake that stupid exam.

***

So nice 💚

***

They just keep poppin up, like toadstools after rain 😕

This drama is mostly a domestic, female drama, with female issues and struggles and household battlefields, so I find it very hard to switch gears and enjoy his wuxia moments that happen here every one hundred years because it just doesn't match the tone of everything else, but I've realised that I wouldn't mind watching him wreak destruction in another drama, where it would be more appropriate. He really moves very well and is such a strong presence on-screen.

***

Also, what is he fighting these bandits alone for? Was he not with Imperial Cousin the Younger when they realised there was an ambush? Where are the rest of their men?

***

Finally!

***

So many common themes with Love Like the Galxy!

Also, I am always reminded of Shen Zechuan breaking a prisoner out of the imperial prison to skin him alive.

***

LOL, that didn't take long 😅

Anyway, princes Yan and Yong are going down!

***

I love how these people still have faith in the useless Emperor.

The man has been mentally unwell for years, he is old and sick and they still think they can go tattle to him and that he will do anything to protect anyone.

***

I love Imperial Cousin, LOL! He's so bloodthirsty 🤣🤣

But he must be when Daddy Zhao is so meek and indecisive.

***

I love these big shots of scenery!

***

Yeah, dream on!

Gu Tingye is out there being best buddies with the next emperor! All your scheming is in vain.

But the biggest irony here is that Gu Tingye adored her. He really thought of her as a mother. It would have been endless glory and wealth for her and her son if she had just been half normal and not gone out of her way to ruin everyone's lives.

***

This can't be good 😬

It's just Minglan's luck to get stuck in the Imperial Palace when a coup is about to go down.

***

I know this woman!

Didn't she also play an evil Imperial Consort in Nirvana in Fire?

These roles suit her!

***

YESSSS! Consort Rong, go apeshit! 🔥🔥

***

Yes! Please, kill her!

Preferably beat her to death.

Let her know before she dies what pain she inflicted on helpless people. I am Team Consort Rong!

***

Wait.

If Prince Yong killed her sister, she is probably allied with prince Yan. And Prince Yan is currently trying to murder Gu Tingye and Unfavoured Imperial Cousins.

So maybe not Team Consort Rong after all because I do want Gu Tingye to win 🤔 But maybe she can kill Princess Pingning first.

***

Yep.

Go, Consort Rong!! Kill them all!! 🗡🗡

***

Oh, yes, dig your grave!

I will very much enjoy watching the whole lot of you die.

***

Oh, he's still alive?

I was wondering.

Also, the difference between his appearance and the Consort's, smh. She is so beautiful and he is a warmed-up corpse. My estimate is that he is at least forty years older than her.

***

LMAO, priorities 🤣🤣

I love Changbai! He is such a Lan Xichen 💙

[ficretus]

With Vale being destroyed there is a non zero percent chance Salem has Relic of Choice. As I previously stated, I don't think that's the case as it would be very anticlimactic way to do it after six full volumes of Relic eluding her. I see it more as a raising of stakes for Vacuo battle since loss there could mean Salem's victory with all four Relics.

However, I mostly want to focus on Relic of Choice's role in Knightfall theory mythos and implications Relic being taken by Salem could have.

Relic of Choice is one of the center pieces of Knightfall theories, tying to Indecisive King story as well as giving Cinder in universe way to see reality of her situation. So if Relic of Choice is acquired off screen, does that invalidate all previous theories? I'd say no.

While it's true most interpretations of the theory focus on Vault encounter, it doesn't have to be that way. Encounter can happen at Evernight (or wherever Salem stashes Relics) with Cinder being there on guard duty. As I stated before in one of my theories, I consider Cinder kidnapping Jaune to be plausible scenario to happen during Vacuo arc looking at him as Joan of Arc allusion. So scenario in which Cinder and Jaune are at Evernight with Relics in not implausible in my book.

In fact, now that I think of it, encounter happening in Evernight might make more sense than in the Vault going purely by literary influences. Prince encounters Cinderella at her home, Joan encounters Dauphin in his castle, Widow encounters Indecisive King in his castle, Ozma saves Salem from tower she was trapped in (this is looking at Knightfall as reverse Salem/Ozma story). Common thread is that Jaune coded character encounters Cinder coded character at her home and Evernight is closest she has to one.

It could also tie in nicely with Cinder's Cinderella influence. In her story Salem is both Fairy Godmother (magical being that gives her the tools to achieve her dream, in this case acquisition of Maiden powers) and Evil Stepmother (repressive figure that keeps her down). With her Relic being acquired, Salem no longer has a reason to rely on Cinder and might resort to having her as glorified guard dog (I mean she can basically control her with Grimm arm). So she might slip from Fairy Godmother role to Stepmother role and keep her away at Evernight with Relics.

So basically, I don't think anything changes in the grand scheme of things even if Relic is acquired of screen.

[technicalknockout]

PIGEON OC LORE DUMP PIGEON OC LORE DUMP ❗️❗️❗️❗️

*flaps excitedly* PIGEON OC LORE DUMP

warning long and incoherent with way too many elizabeths than required

Oh my god i realized there is no fricking way im explaining everything today theres so MUCH HDKKSJDKS i'll just explain the basic mythology and some of my favorite guys

Ok we need to start with the gods

Once upon a time there was nothing. One day Nothing decided it wanted to be something. It split itself into multiple parts and those parts became the first three gods. The part of Nothing that wanted to be something became Creator (cre) and the part that liked being Nothing became Red (ree. This is a placeholder name i really cant decide on a fitting name for red hdjsdkskd). Also there was this indecisive middle guy and their name is Astral (starry. Starry is important because they're the responsible sibling. They mostly do everything)

These are the Incompetent God Siblings. There are smaller gods who split from the siblings but theyre mostly irrelevant. Also the gods look like birds (actually it's the other way around, birds look like gods because the gods wanted to put something that looks like themselves in the mortal realm. Kind of like self insert ocs dhjskfkd) so i also call them Birbs

Anyway the thousands of new gods just hung around for some time in their newfound existance until cre decided this was boring. So the gods all decided to make some universes with stuff in it. Except ree who was against the whole 'existing' thing in the first place and was a grump about it, so the gods conpromised with ree and put a expiration date on the universe. Spoilers: this leads to some politic problems later on

So tada theres a universe now. Multiple universes. Parallel worlds are relevant later but that would make this post longer than an entire novel series so dropping that topic

Now onto the actual ocs dhjdkskfks

Domino aka Elizabeth the 3rd. (Some quick background lore, the elizabeths are guys who are trapped in an unending loop of reincarnation (courtesy of ree). They all have their own memories and personalities but share some core traits such as god obsession) Domino is part of the "villain squad" in the plot and a (pseudo)scientist who works at the shadow government. She's very cold and NOT interested in anything except for her (ethically questionable) experiments concerning angels and, unfortunately, the main characters. She was relatively fine until she got involved in some plot relevant scheme as a kid and almost died now shes Not Fine.. has two lab assistants Apel Pine (pineapple) and Stein Mango (mangosteen. Theyre 9 years old, twins and orphans, domino named them and yes she is canonically bad at names). Pineapple is traumatized and deprieved of affection, desperately seeking love from domino who is the only thing close to a parent figure he's ever had. Domino does not notice nor does she care.. which makes pineapple :(. He's aggressive to others and needs therapy. Unlike him though, mangosteen is very okay! Mostly because pineapple tried his very best to protect mango from the bad things in life. It worked and pineapple now has twice the trauma he was supposed to have, while mango has none. He turned out as a silly little guy who is oblivious to the horrors and he tries really really hard to make everyone get along. And he likes snow :D theres a short backstory behind pineapple and mango from before they were domino's assistants which explains why theyre Like That, which i will maybe perhaps talk about later

Also in a different universe theres a 12 year old menace called damo who wears a poncho thingie and claims to be the most evil villain in the whole universe (she isnt she has no idea what a villain is, she thinks theyre cool people who explode stuff). She likes bombs and doing disney villain laughs. She is the silly ever and nothing bad happens to her and i love her very very much

[saltieststar]

Random BG Lore: The Church of Last Hope

In my dive to sort out my little Bhaalspawn's backstory (for the umpteenth time, I know there have been many iterations—I'm indecisive), I came across an interesting little church and asylum located in the outer city of Baldur's Gate. A little church that may not be a far stretch to call the last traces of Bhaal worship in the city—before Bhaal's actual revival, of course.

The Church of Last Hope is located in the Twin Songs district, which is known for its many places of worship, including those dedicated to evil deities and fiends.

Now, the Church of Last Hope is a kind of temple and asylum, which is supposed to be a place for the mentally ill and downtrodden. According to Murder in Baldur's Gate and the Forgotten Realms Campaign Guide, they offer euthanasia services to these individuals. However, it is suspected that it's not actually as merciful as it seems, and is really just a cover for evil rituals—essentially luring willing victims to the church where they are then sacrificed to the evil gods or fiends being worshipped. The way victims are lured reminds me a lot of how Bhaalists are recruited, they receive an invitation from a strange courier, and nobody knows how these people are chosen, it is just assumed to be the will of the divine.

It all reminds me of the scheme the Sharrans are running in the Gate during, BG3. Advertising their services as a kind of therapy for those suffering loss and despair and in actuality they're just stealing their memories and y'know they're also quite known for orchestrating said tragedies.

The bit below mostly pertains to the DIA campaign and sort of includes spoilers.

However, around 1492, it seems the Church of Hope is no longer engaging in shady sacrifices and is instead being led by a Lawful Good cleric from Candlekeep. For those DMing or anyone interested in Baldurian politics for the sake of writing, I moved the secret Dead Three temple, discovered during the DIA campaign, from beneath the bathhouse to being located under this Church. This temple is, of course, exposed causing a public outcry. After the scandal, the Lawful Good cleric from Candlekeep steps in to clean up the mess and transforms the Church into a legitimate institution that actually provides the services it claims to.

[halfbakedreviews]

Half Baked Review: The Brave Yong Su-Jeong

Length: 120 episodes | ~ 30 min/episode Half Baked Jury: Watch it if you have nothing else to watch Emotional Investment Level/Binge Degree: Overeasy & Telenovela (High Medium) FL: She aight, strong but also not powerful or influential so that makes her weak in the grand scheme of things ML: adorable and annoying, indecisive, the kind that makes you want to scream 2ndML: idk what is happening with this character, to be honest. he is mostly aggravating. Genre: I think this is a romance revenge plot

Characters Ingredients:

M. Group: The Evil Corporation 🤨: Main Female and Protagonist 🍹: kind ajussi who finds 🤨 and becomes her adopted dad 🙄: Gigachad with a weird attitude and Second Lead and apparently a murderer 🤴🏻: Lil Bro of 🙄 and Main Lead 🦟: Evil Stepmom of 🙄, Daughter-in-law of 👵🏻 and a murderer 👩🏻: Mistress of Late M. Group Leader and Biological Mom of 🤴🏻&🙄 👵🏻: Chairwoman and Granma of Lil Bro and Gigachad 😈: Evil Antagonist Chic and super jealous ... at this point she's basically a serial killer 👺: Mother of 😈 and also evil -- gambler and rude... and a murderer 👹: Father of 😈 and also evil, and the chief secretary, retired thug and murderer

Plot Synopsis Instructions w/ a Dash of Spoilers

Okay, so 🤨 is orphaned and almost killed thanks to the handy work of 😈&👺 -- she's a child at this point which makes the whole thing even more insidious. 👺 Finds a way to steal 🤨's deceased parents' wealth and home and gets away with it -- thanks to 👹. Then 😈&👺 flee to America.

Luckily, 🤨 is saved by 🍹 and they are living la vida loca van life together when they spot a lady in the water, pregnant and clearly needing to give birth -- turns out to be 👩🏻 pregnant with🤴🏻.

👩🏻 didn't just end up washed ashore though. 🦟 had put a hit on her via 👹. 👹 had kidnapped her, but then 🦟 hit her with the car, she was about to fall off the cliff, asked 🦟 for help, and then 🦟 just Lion King Mufasa her off that cliff. It was pretty cold. 🦟 👹 try to find her but she is gone ... because she is currently washed ashore and 🤨 &🍹 are delivering her lil baby 🤴🏻.

🤨 &🍹 take 🤴🏻&👩🏻 to a monastery and they live there quietly -- well quietly enough that everyone thinks they are dead. 😈&👺 are living it up in the States-- well kind of. 😈 falls in love with 🙄 and 👺 gambles away all their money. 😈&👺 return to Korea with different plans 😈 wants to marry 🙄 (even though he had married her BFF and had a child with her and then killed her.......?) &👺 wants to cash in on some more of the inheritance she stole from 🤨.

This is a decent stage for a revenge plot.

Recipe Hiccups

My biggest quam with this drama is that 🤨 starts off seemingly a strong FL but soon because of her socio-economic status, she just keeps losing. I find that K-dramas tend to be a commentary on society and what is being experienced. But it's a little depressing to see that happen over and over again to this character.

Making the first and the second lead brothers definitely creates a weird dynamic -- since they like the same girl. But I do think it is weird that they made the first lead 🤴🏻 a mama's (👩🏻) boy who is enticed to upward mobility because of the power in status and 🙄 is portrayed as dutiful in a sense, but also completely useless at his job and also a mama (🦟) pushover and essentially slave to status. I found it extremely odd that 🙄 had no personality until he fell in love with 🤨. In fact, he struggles as a dad and comes off as an emotionally absent father.

Baked till Golden

👵🏻 is played by one of my favorite actresses - Kim Yong-Rim. She is absolutely phenomenal.

But they do not allow her to be one of those dynamic characters who learn from history. And I think that has really stifled the potential of the character she is playing. I'm about 60 episodes -- quite half baked and I'm seeing her react the same ways she did in the beginning about a situation she is not pleased with. I wish they surprised us and done something different.

As always I love 😈 Lim Ju-Eun's reactions. Her expressions are what mean girls are made of

Lastly, evil seems to win too much in the first half which lets me know that it will most likely end really cheese-y and gooey. So right now this is ⭐️⭐️⭐️. I love the cast though, it's been a fun ride. Let's see how it finishes! happy watching! 🍪

[harmonictechnicality]

When Eddie finally gets into drinking hot teas, Steve loses his goddamn mind. Goes to the store, buys every flavor he can find. Makes a little tea buffet with samples galore on his kitchen island. Even puts little labels out so Eddie knows the name of each one he tries.

Eddie drinks every tiny cup (pretends he’s a fucking giant while doing it) that Steve sets out for him. Goes down the line just sipping and humming in thought/delight. Steve excitedly watches from the adjacent countertop the whole time.

Once Eddie is done, Steve approaches him, hugging Eddie from behind and asking, “Do you have a favorite?”

And Eddie, being a indecisive pain in the ass just says, “All of them. All of them are my favorite, babe. What are you gonna do about that?”

Steve is so unfazed by Eddie’s little challenges by now. Just gets a Costco membership, spends the next day buying tea in bulk.

Eddie comes home to towers of cardboard boxes, some are nearly touching the ceiling. Steve has sectioned off the kitchen with a red ribbon tied to each side of the doorframe.

He limbos under the ribbon, holding an oversized pair of scissors.

“Uh? Babe?” Eddie asks gently. Cause ya know… Steve is holding scissors and looking diabolical. “What’s all this?”

“You couldn’t pick a favorite so I bought every flavor available.” Steve says it easily, like this isn’t batshit wild.

“Okay…”

Steve hands Eddie the scissors. “I call it Eddie’s Ci-Tea…. Get it? Like city but... with tea?”

Damnit, it’s so adorable when Steve makes up shitty puns. Eddie has to cover his smushy face in kisses now (carefully though, cause goddamn motherfucking scissors ugh).

“You’re way too loveable, Steve Harrington.” Eddie gushes, cutting the ribbon. Mayor of their weird little relationship.

Steve kisses Eddie’s cheek and he smells like a fucking spice factory from hauling tea around all day. So fucking yummy, Eddie wants to stir him up with one of those ridiculous little spoons. Make a piping-hot cup of Steve Tea that only he gets to drink up.

And as Eddie examines all the boxes, reading over all the different varieties, he remembers this is still a challenge. A game that he started. And he can’t let Steve just win because he’s rich and pretty, right? That would be too easy.

Eddie goes out of his way to make unnecessary shit difficult cause it’s his evil little side hustle. Some people have hobbies, Eddie Munson has schemes.

So he turns around, facing Steve (who is blissfully happy still), and plants a big kiss on his stupidly pink lips.

“It’s great and all, Stevie, but…”

Steve frowns. “But?”

Eddie pouts, but still gives a devilish wink when he says it:

“You forgot the honey.”

Steve kicks one of the towers, makes it look like the cardboard-version of that famous building in Italy. He grabs his keys and his Costco membership card, and storms out the front door.

Eddie is still laughing as he hears Steve swearing in the driveway. He begins boiling a kettle of water to make some Oolong tea while thinking:

‘I’m gonna marry my snobby pretty boyfriend, and we’re gonna serve all this goddamn tea at our wedding reception.’

[bardofavon]

✿ did anything major change when you started writing a good myth to when you finished (or where youre at now if unfinished) ?

+ im genuinely obsessed w it and get excited all day sunday knowing an update is coming !! <3

omg you are so sweet!! I started rambling again so the answer is under the cut bc i went on for 10 paragraphs

fic ask game!

and the answer is yes, oh my god yes, like....most things??? i am a known pantser meaning anyone who thinks i started this story knowing where it was going is wrong, unfortunately. i think it maybe took me ten chapters before i finally went "wait, how do i want this story to end????"

i write out of order and i tend to have a rough plan in my brain for how i want things to shake out and certain plot beats that i want to happen, but i definitely don't have anything mapped out chapter by chapter. the chapter I'm going to post in an hour or two i literally sat in front of my google doc and went "ok.......actually have no idea what's going to happen this week........i know what's going to happen next chapter but i have put no thought in how to get there"

SO that being said, i have written the ending scenes and know how everything is going to shake out but for a solid 4 months there I was like "okay, the ending is going to be any of these three things" until i finally settled on a direction.

also, i had a huge existential crisis when i turned 24 and then another even bigger one when i turned 25 and i changed career paths twice and made some MASSIVE changes in my personal life so i would be lying if that didn't also effect the things i projected onto the story in terms of "kaz as a person who knows what he wants and knows how to get there" to "kaz as someone who thought he knew what he wanted but is now incredibly indecisive and grappling with his own mortality" which i think is a positive change overall and is happening very naturally

when i first started this story i was kind of "ooh two bastards are evil together and dark sided and plotting schemes and it's GAY" and then the reality of being in kaz's head is like "ooh.....200k slowburn"

OH and the length, definitely the length. i found a message in the discord server where i sent a snippet of something i wrote in 2021 (that i SOMEHOW still haven't posted) and i was like "this isn't going to happen for another 30k words" (laughs in 70k later and i still haven't gotten there) and someone was like "so excited that means the story is going to be that long" and i was like "I'm estimating it's going to be around 50k" and now here i am around the halfway point at 112k words................sobs..........

i had my big climactic scene penned for happening around when shadow and bone ends, with kaz being forced to make a similar choice to alina (this was over a year ago so in the very early stages of planning the story) and then somewhere along the road i was like...no it's going to stretch across the three books

also very small changed detail but in my notes on my google doc i have the note "the darkling gives kaz flowers and kaz eats them" so if that lets you know how things have changed tonally ahaha.

and i have multiple snippets and deleted scenes created from me writing things out of order and then getting to them and being like...yeah there's no place here for this conversation to happen.....rip.

[batboyimagines]

Neon lights PART THREE [Tim Drake x Male Reader]

Reading the first two parts isn’t required, but you may want the context!

That client you’ve been working for, the one that’s been keeping you both busy and afloat with their seemingly endless cash? Yeah, you figured out who that was.

Black Mask. Black. Fucking. Mask.

Now, that alone is alarming. Black Mask is one hell of a name in the underbelly of Gotham. He’s big, controls so much of the city that he can own an entire building legally. Even with the endless list of crimes to his name. It’s a pretty ritzy building too, from what little you’ve seen of it.

But that name doesn’t faze you because it’s big. You’ve gotten big names after you before, you’ve been at this gig for a while. 

No, the name Black Mask makes your blood boil for one reason and one reason alone.

His gang had screwed your life over, majorly. 

Once upon a time, even the very talented thief Nightlight was a normal, plucky kid. Sure, you still had trouble relating and connecting with others, but you might’ve been able to fix that! Had you had the chance.

Black Mask’s people had infiltrated your neighborhood and were starting to convince kids to do their dirty work. Kids couldn’t be arrested as easily, not even in a near lawless city like Gotham. 

The few people you associated yourself with, you hesitate to call them friends, had wanted to pick up some of the tasks the goons were offering. For the extra cash, it was a pretty poor neighborhood after all.

Not wanting to be left behind, you had gone along with it. One thing led to another, and eventually you were a preteen handling highly dangerous equipment that could kill a grown man. 

One piece of equipment in particular got you. You weren’t born with your powers, there’s no one else in your family that can do what you can. Though, you wouldn’t know, you and your family aren’t on speaking terms. For reasons entirely unrelated to your profession, surprisingly.

You had tripped down a flight of stairs and dropped the damn thing, you tried to catch yourself with your hands and ended up smashing the thing under your chest and it had exploded. You totally should have died. But thankfully, someone had called an ambulance just in time and you survived.

The medical bills almost made you wish you didn’t. Life saving surgeries aren’t cheap. You were almost drowning in the debt, it was only recently you’ve been able to pay it off. That’s why you picked up thievery, you would’ve never been able to scrounge up the cash to pay it all working at a coffee shop alone.

Why were you thinking of your tragic backstory? Oh yeah, Black Mask. Yeah, you’re pissed that you’ve been a cog in one of his stupid plans. Again.

So, you’ve decided to pull a hero and foil the douche’s evil plans.

After a lot of searching and eavesdropping, you’ve finally come across one of his hideouts. The plan is to totally trash the place, in hopes it might do... something. Man, you’re not a plan guy. You just want to do something, even if it’s stupid and more petty than anything.

You’re just about to drop in and get to vandalizing when a flash of familiar red stops you in your tracks. 

From the roof across you, Red Robin settles down to scope out the place, just like how you were doing. He must have caught onto Black Mask’s plans. Smartie bird, you think to yourself, just a little fond.

Hang on, you may not be a plan guy but Red totally is. You’ve seen the ridiculous stunts he’s pulled, he’s brought down far crazier schemes than Black Mask’s like houses of cards. If you really want to make a dent on Black Mask, Red’s 100% capable.

Mind made up, you sneak your way behind Red. Man, it’s fun to finally be the one to sneak up on him. Red always gets the drop on you.

A short distance behind him, you wait. He’s still staring down at the building below, but he’s had to have noticed you by now, right? He’s probably just waiting for you to announce yourself. You cough into your fist.

He whips around, nearly toppling over the edge of the roof, and flings a couple of birdarangs in your general direction. You strangle the vile curses in your throat and throw yourself to the ground to dodge.

“What are you doing here?!” He hisses under his breath, hand going for his bo staff.

“What you’re doing, I think!” You shout under your breath. “You’re here to take down Black Mask right?!”

“Why would you want to take down Black Mask, you’ve been working for him!” He accuses.

“My clients are usually anonymous, I didn’t know! Can I come over there so we don’t have to keep whispering like this?!” You ask, pushing yourself to your hands and knees.

Red thins his lips, think for a moment. He gestures you over sharply.

You hop your feet and stride to his side. You kneel at the edge of the roof beside him, a foot and a half away. There’s tense silence.

Even if you did know how to plan, you honestly do want to work with Red. Maybe you’re unhealthily attached to functionally a stranger but you like him a lot. 

“... sorry about your bike.” You say.

“Huh?” 

“Your bike, I’m sorry for painting it. I didn’t think it would bother you that much.” Red lowers his binoculars, furrowing his brow. He inclines his head towards you. Then his face softens a little.

“Thanks,” he says. Oh wow. He sounds really nice when he’s not riled up.

“Yeah,” you say. And when he looks away, you inch closer to him.

“What do you mean you didn’t know?” He asks quietly.

“Just like I said, my clients are anonymous half the time. I was getting paid a lot Red, I didn’t look into it much. I only figured it out a few days ago.”

“I’m surprised that you’re interested in taking him down. You’ve worked for people worse than him, why’s he the one you draw the line at?” 

“He’s a big part of my villain origin story. And who do you mean? Who’ve I worked for that’s worse than him?” You ask, cocking your head to the side.

“Uh, the League of Shadows ring any bells?” He asks, unimpressed. Your eyebrows nearly fly off your forehead.

“The League of Shadows?! When’d I work for them?” 

“That time in Gotham harbor, with the cloud seeder.” What’s a cloud seeder? You mouth to yourself. Then it hits you and you have to bite back laughter.

“Oh my god, is that the time you hit that weird old guy where the sun don’t shine?”

“Nightlight, that weird old guy was Ra’s Al Ghul.” He says, almost amused. Your eyes nearly popped out of your skull.

“You kicked Ra’s Al Ghul in the balls?!” He nods, grinning. “Dude, that’s awesome!”

“It was pretty awesome.” He admits. He pushes himself to his feet and looks down at you. “So I guess we’re working together.”

“What? Really?” You ask in surprise, pushing yourself to your feet.

“Yeah, I don’t see why not.” He fiddles with some gizmo on his wrist. “You could be useful.” 

“Sweet!” You say. He looks at you inquisitively.

“Why do you want to help me? Besides our common goal of screwing over Black Mask,” you snort, “wouldn’t you want to work alone?”

“I mean, I would, but I’m terrible at planning or setting end goals. That’s why I take clients and stuff, they decide what I steal so I don’t have to.” 

“So you’re indecisive.”

“Basically.”

“Alright, works for me,” he says as he walks across the roof, “I can be bossy.”

“I noticed.” You snicker a little as you follow him.

“Did you.” 

[ignitification]

LoV Colour Analysis Part I: Shigaraki Tomura.

As this analysis would be quite too long to read in one go, I decided to split it into three parts, each covering one of the Three Main Villains of BNHA (Shigaraki Tomura, Himiko Toga and Dabi).

All three do denote a precise and powerful colour scheme, but on today’s episode I am going to focus on the Leader of the League of Villains aka Shigaraki Tomura or Shimura Tenko.

Shigaraki’s colour pattern variates from Red (shoes and eyes), Black (his usual outfits, his hair when younger) to Light Blue, Grey and White (colour of his hair, skin and hands).

The interesting fact is how Shimura’s colour evolve with his persona and Quirk. The third paragraph is dedicated to the colour Yellow, which is not part of the palette associated with Tenko, but I included it because it adds to the detailing of Shigaraki’s character.

(Spoilers ahead! & tw/: mentions of canon-compliant violence; death)

I.) From Black to Light Blue to White 

During his growth, evolution as a villain and person, not considering the one spurred from his Quirk, Tenko’s hair undergo a quite big development. While the colour of his clothes stays more or less stable (being black throughout the entire series), what differentiates his eras is the colour of his hair. In his childhood, before manifesting his Quirk, Tomura’s hair was dark (strikingly similar to the one both Touya and Izuku sported). This changed to light blue/grey in his years until last arc, where after being himself an experiment under the hands of Doctor Death (Kyudai Garaki is a very creepy man) to inherit the original AfO’s Quirk, his hair becomes snow white (as a result of the transformation, I would believe - but it might as well mean another thing which I will talk about later). 

Beginning with maybe the easiest association: the colour black. 

A little note of the fear association: in this case, I would like to interpret it as Shigaraki being aware of his decaying Quirk and freak people out because of that, and because of his external looks, which do look like the one of a decaying child.

Power refers definitely to both his position and his Quirk, in this case - which make him stand out even more. However, the strength in this case, in my opinion, is more a smoke screen: black is also worn as a protection from external damage, as in stress and emotional backlash. This creates a barrier between the subject and the world, protecting internal emotions, and hiding its vulnerabilities, insecurities and lack of self confidence. The emotional trauma, the ‘hands shield’ Shigaraki derived, in a way, from his trauma and from being confronted with something, has shaken him to the core since childhood, and in this case the clothes serve to protect him from himself and his ‘actions’. In this aspect, him wearing black as a child might also stand for him trying to shield himself away from his parent’s judgement and stare, while protecting his will to want to be a hero, despite their negative reaction to any hint of that. These meaning are, in conclusion a full circle: one calls for the other, especially in Shigaraki’s case.

Black is also associated with mystery, evil and aggression. Shigaraki is written as an enigmatic villain, cold-hearted, devoid of any humanity and the will to full front destroy everything in its path. And while the meaning perfectly fit to how Shigaraki should be, I do believe that this is a very superficial and banal description of such a complex character. 

One thing which I found particularly interesting about this colour and its relation to Shigaraki, it’s the rocky tie that appears between black and its meaning as in rebellion. This aspect might refer to two different conditions: it might suppose a certain degree of refusal and hate for authority (The society at large), and at the same time the rebellion from his own family/persona/mentor, which could entail a fundamental foreshadow for Tenko’s destiny.

The color black affects the mind and body by producing feelings of emptiness, gloom, or sadness.

 I think here again, this might just an extermination of the feeling that have been torturing Shigaraki from the inside since he was a child, and that he himself has not acknowledged, which also stands to explain how he tries to feel that void or to ‘eliminate the scratch’ that has been tormenting him, and that knows no peace.

Furthermore, In Japanese culture, the colour black mainly denotes non-being (apart from mourning) and evil-heartedness in a person. This meaning is consistent with the personality described to us by Horikoshi: Shigaraki Tomura ceases to be a person at one point, when his consciousness gets subdued by AfO for a while. It is important to note here, how White (on the other side of the spectrum) is also the colour of death and mourning.

Not entirely worth mentioning, is that black is the stereotypical colour worn by villains and bad guys in different fictional environments.

(Light) Blue/Grey.

Just a reminder: neither grey nor blue are explicit colour in Tenko’s palette as a character, but I think they are still important and since greyish blue (the precise colour oh his hair) has not its own meaning, I took the freedom to actually associate the two separate colour in association to describe this period of transition between black and white.

The phase in which Tomura has Greyish-Blue hair is the longest one (in terms of years), but also the phase of passage (which consequently is the phase he is exploring, and is in the ‘grey zone’, where things are just getting defined and there are no absolutes). Grey, in this sense, sports both characteristics from White and Black (depending on the shade used), and even if not explicitly used for Tenko, it still represents a landmine in his development.

The colour grey is an ‘unemotional’ colour. It is detached, neutral, impartial and indecisive - all traits that can be reconnected at Shigaraki. Indeed, it is after his encounter with Izuku at the mall where he recognises why exactly (or so he thinks) he rages and wants to bring destruction to the world as known. This indicates how he has been striving for a real purpose, like the one Stain has, in order to actually understand what he is doing and evolve from the child the Heroes define him as, to a Villain with the capital V. He does relate to reality in partial ways, while he tries to define his identity as something that has died inside of him, Shimura Tenko, and at the same time the part that has lived on through the memories he removed and the hands which accompany him. He does not know which part is stronger, and trying to figure it out he tries and fails, only to try again.  To confirm the shaping of Shigaraki, indeed grey is a conforming colour and most of all it struggles with identity, which is arguably the most prominent trait Shigaraki presents during the first arcs of the story.

On the other hand, Blue symbolises coolness, passivity, fidelity. Somehow it reverberates the meaning of grey, while at the same time enhancing its other effects (it being emotionless and calm, undecided but also flowing). Blue is also indicator of depth, wisdom, confidence, and intelligence (among others). This also confirms the precedent meanings (of especially white) and it adds another dimension to Tenko’s character. It is clear how he feels deeply, and is still very clever in its own way. Still, this development and phase serves for him to obtain the other characteristics proposed by blue, especially wisdom and confidence (refer to Black where I said how sometimes the clothes are a screen to hide his true feelings). 

Blue is a colour that’s constant and unchanging, which contrasts with grey and brings forwconstant struggle in Tenko. Blue is also nostalgic. Curious is how blue lives in the past, relating everything in the present and the future to experiences in the past. I think that this is what blue is about with Tenko: he struggles to look forward, to forgive and let go because he never forgot his dad, his grandma or even society for when they had brought upon him as an innocent child. His bringing up has been focused, after all, on his developing his constant feeling of sadness, rage and gloom and the necessary power to express them in confident ways, which could bring destruction forward. Tenko is a puppet in AfO’s hands since he has ‘saved’ him, so I think this is why the sentence in which Shigaraki tries to break free from AfO’s will is a break point for the story, and for Shigaraki as well. 

Blue is also known for being deceitful and spiteful, depressed and sad, passive, self-righteous, emotionally unstable, weak, unforgiving. It can also indicate manipulation, unfaithfulness and being untrustworthy.

Indeed, it is after that Izuku sees Tenko being kneeled over by AfO and his presence that he understands that Shigaraki too, is human and that maybe the reasons for his rage and absolute hate for everything he comes across have deep roots, which is why even if he cannot forgive him for all the pain he has brought, he wants to save him.  

Finally, the paler the blue the more freedom we feel - which brings me to my theory on what, throughout the years Tenko’s hair have been ‘decaying’ and bleaching out. I think that as a child, Tenko is caged and tries to break free of his cage, of his ‘itch’ but he cannot because he does not realise what it is, and there is no freedom for him to actually understand. The first time he uses his Quirk, he feels finally satisfied for the first time. He tasted freedom for the first time, and now he wants to do it again and again. Growing up, however his ideals become blurry and he does not understand what he actually wants. He does know that the hands on his body represent what he has lost and what is actually still there with him, giving him strength and will, but at the same time he does not know what is beyond there. Which is why, after he goes through the transformation by Garaki, his hair becomes white: he gets rid of the insecurities, of the shackles that have stopped him from actually achieving his goal, or rather to pursue it freely. His ultimate goal, after all, is to get rid of his ‘itch’, which, in its own way, it’s his language to say that Shimura Tenko wants freedom.

As a note, Blue is also the colour of the Throat chakra. It is located in the throat, but it is linked to the throat, neck, hands, and arms. This Chakra is linked to speech. 

Final remark on blue: this colour is one of the most important lucky colors in Japan ( together with yellow, white, purple, green and, red) - and all the colour associated with Tomura, except for black, is indeed considered lucky.

White 

White, is an inherently positive colour, is usually associated with purity, innocence, light, goodness, beginnings, possibility and perfection. However it is also described an dperceived as cold, impersonal and bland. Shigaraki after his ‘transformation’ is the perfect soldier: he is very powerful, to a fault, and represents a new chapter in not only his own life but as well in the one which has been conducted by AfO, as he sees him as his vessel. The fact is that the beginning of a new Shigaraki which is flawless, in appearance, is a very well constructed lie. While he should represent perfection, first of all his transformation has not been entirely completed and furthermore, while it does represent a clean slate in his check, is also the possibility, reality coming through for AfO to take advantage of the body new, which Tomura must preserve. As the new Shigaraki however, has his ideals very present and wants to fight for them, to protect his feelings and his ideas, it is anyway a struggle for both him and AfO to juggle through everything going on Tenko’s mind, and emerge victorious. This is also the most interesting aspect of this colour: the goodness and inherent purity which comes from this colour implies a purification process in Shigaraki’s character, who instead gets fixed even more on him not wanting to forgive society and insisting on going on his rampage, because at the same time he cannot let go of these feelings, because now they are the only thing which make him go forward.

White is usually used in contrast to black, and represents the dichotomy of good and bad.

The psychological meaning of white is wholeness and completion. This also refers to the meaning and falls into the category of ‘perfection’: it is a new beginning, but at the same time it represents the closure of a cycle and the beginning of a new one: a perfect one, which represents closure (‘The Circle’). Tomura is supposed to be the new complete weapon at AfO’s will, but as I states before this is a fought point (between the two of them).

White, in cultures that believe in reincarnation is held in high regard. Indeed, they sustain how white is a sign of rebirth. 

Technically, Shigaraki has been reborn. What I mean is that he has transformed himself into not a new person, but in a better version of himself, he upgraded - and now of course going back is not an option. He has been held in a womb, breeding his new potential and now he became an individual whose strength far surpasses normal, his quirk control is absolutely insane and as well his memories, ideas and feelings are heightened. The theme of rebirth, which I think fits both Shigaraki and Dabi, is used a few times in BNHA, but as for Shigaraki it is very literal and very clear (after all he has been asleep for a time, just to wake up and fight an entire war against the Heroes). It is clear however, how his personality has been rebirth too: while he was not insecure, but more hesitant, now he is sure of his objective and he thrives on achieving it. What distinguishes therefore the old Shigaraki from this new one is the knowledge of being powerful and therefore being able to accomplish what we wants.

Finally, white inherently denotes death and mourning too in the Japanese culture, as well as black. Here, we are mourning the old Shigaraki, and the loss of the traits that instead made him a little bit more human, and a little less like God himself.

II.) From Red Eyes to Red Shoes (in association with both Izuku and Katsuki) 

I already talked about the colour red in regard to Izuku here, but if we take the same meaning and apply it to Tomura instead, we get a different picture. It is no mystery how Izuku and Tenko are foils for each other, and that they resemble each other in different ways (starting from them sporting red shoes, to their characters, being ‘accepted’ and trained by a mentor, and so on).

Red is the colour of extremes. It appears clear how Izuku and Tenko represent the opposite extremes: where Izuku is enamoured of heroes and idolised them to an unhealthy point, even though he comes from a background where he has been discriminated by that same society because he was different, Tenko is disillusioned with the society they live in. He wants to destroy to the ground, because he cannot find it in himself to forgive anyone who could and did not extend him a hand when he needed it. At the same time, both Izuku and Tenko believe that to a certain extent what they had done has been ‘deserved’, and are not entirely focused on their own well being. 

Red is also an attention-bringer. As I already noticed for Izuku, it is very curious how both wear red shoes, as a way to try and separate themselves from the rest, trying to escape the opinions of other which have labelled them in a way, and of course at the same time trying to take control and wanting to be the best in their own ways (hero or villain, that is).  

Red is also the colour of blood, of rage, anger as well as desire, leadership and strength. I want to make a point which I do not know whether is important or not, however, a fact that struck me hard is how Shigaraki’s irises are very very small, and it somehow seems that he tries to compensate the little quantity of red of Shigaraki with wearing red shoes. This might be an indicator how Shigaraki strives to achieve these qualities, but at the same time he needs to put a lot of effort in it, and furthermore it somehow feels different from when we compare it to Izuku: even if both are charismatic leaders, Shigaraki is very dispassionate about it, while Izuku frequently denies how his influence might be fundamental when it comes to other people (Katsuki, All Might, 1A). However, Shigaraki does reflect in his personality, the venous desire to be angry, aggressive and destructive as it what his power entails, and after all what has been taught to him. I noticed as well a post (which unfortunately I cannot find) where it says that Shigaraki has a very high tolerance pain (again, the parallels with Izuku are insane), which also reconnects somehow to the colour red as we saw how Shigaraki himself even if tired (LoV vs Machia/LF) or absolutely bloody and at the brink of death is instead held up by his will to destroy (Shigaraki vs Heroes).

It relates to danger, power, determination and action. Well, Shigaraki and danger go to hand in hand as well as determination and action. After all, Shigaraki’s Modus Operandi is Trial and Error, which means he is not afraid to be wrong and to try things out, even if he is stubborn and ways things to go his way, every time (when that rarely happens in general). 

Red is indeed determined, powerful, impulsive and aggressive. It is also tied to self-preservation. Although true for the most part, the self-preservation is still a massive blank point. 

He is bloody, and even AfO is telling him to rest and preserve his energies (even if here, my counter argument would be that it would be easier for him to overtake Shigaraki’s body if he is weaker, so I do not know how reliable this is).

The color red in Japanese culture denotes strength, passion, self sacrifice and blood. It Also stands for good luck and happiness. Which is still very amusing to me, as Shigaraki feels like the farthest character away from achieving happiness, and his passions and strives are all useless unless he gets rid of his master puppeteer. However, Shigaraki embodies the self-sacrificing spirit. Even if it might sound strange, and he is not very willing to be himself in the front lines (at least not always), he does approach ReDestro himself and takes him on, while leaving the League to deal with the rest.

III.) Yellow

Surprise, surprise! Yellow, in the Japanese culture stands for Courage, while usually the Western culture associates it with Cowardice. It is a funny thing that it also stands for betrayal, sickness, egoism and madness on the negative side, however it is rather a holy colour, usually associated with deities on the other side.

Since I am not going to include yellow in the association paragraph, it is not a case that black reacts badly to yellow, and forms a very unpleasant colour, which means that the circumstances which follow either do not mix well together. However, it is also true how the most resonant contrast between yellow and another colour is given by black. 

Plus yellow is the colour of the Solar Plexus Chakra and it is the symbol of vitality and will. All these elements, however present in a very limited amount in regard to Tenko, are telling of the aspect of authority (reconfirmed and amplified by black) and somehow, the lack of bright colours of Tenko makes the little yellow details resonating of a sad picture, as it embodies more the negative sides (egoism, sickness - and in part sickness). 

Colours in Association.

Black used in contrast–particularly with white or yellow–does create energy (especially the contrast on shapes and just power that the image of waken up Shigaraki creates in the last arc is enough to send this message). It is as well true that black when used in opposition with white, symbolises the eternal struggle between day and night, good and evil, and right and wrong - a thing that for Shigaraki is somehow a metaphor and a literal representation of himself as a character. A perfect example would be the struggle he has with AfO for his body, where he struggles between his internal feelings and dreams and instead the evil will imposed by him by AfO, as well as in terms of consciousness where him being present and conscious is the day, while being subdued to AfO’s will in the Night.

Black usually represent the end, but the end always implies a new beginning. So when the light appears, and black transcends to white, it instead the colour of new beginnings. I already talked about how rebirth theme and the new beginning on new ideals and dreams is represented for Tenko by the colour white, however it is interesting also to note how his change in personality brings him from his childhood dream to being thankful to AfO who raised to him, but wanting to be even greater than AfO himself,- metaphor for Tomura’s life as being free from shackles of reality.

Bluish-Grey is also defined as ‘livid’, an adjective used to describe anger or decoloration of the skin (caused by bruising). This colour gives a sense of detachment - which also goes to review the colour grey and blue, in them being interpreted together as an entity, and how Tomura feels a detachment from his own memories, and past life, as well as his future (When Did We Ever Need A Future?) and instead seek meaning in everything that surrounds him. 

Red and white are prominent traditional colours in Japan. Both colours are used in decorations at events which represent happiness and joy.

On a non serious note, Shigaraki’s date of birth is 4th of April, and casually the colours associated with April are Burgundy (deep red) and White (according to the Japanese etiquette). 

And finally last remark for this post: it is very funny how Shigaraki’s palette is somehow almost the same as Bakugou’s (with the exception of green - which I would like to interpret as if Bakugou did not have Midoriya as his side, he could have ended in a far worse position, with no hope and no one to compare to).

Thank you for reading.

[knightotoc]

Maul said he was expecting Obi-Wan, not Ahsoka.

Maul tried to convince Ahsoka to join him to defeat Anakin.

So Maul's plan was actually to convince OBI-WAN to join him to defeat Anakin?!

I mean, that just shows how desperate and focused Maul was. His vision of Anakin joining Palpatine spooked him so badly that he would align with his personal nemesis, the man who cut him in half, to stop it from happening. (I really wish we could have seen Maul's vision! I should draw it...)

I just imagined Maul foresaw that Anakin and Obi-Wan would duel and that Obi-Wan would win but refuse to kill Anakin. So Maul's plan might have been to let that prophecy play out, and then kill Anakin himself during Obi-Wan's moment of indecision.

Of course at that point, Order 66 would have already happened, and Anakin would have already destroyed the Jedi Temple and murdered the Separatist leaders. More significantly for Maul, Palpatine would have declared himself emperor and drained all the political power from the forces holding him back, the Senate and the Jedi. So, Maul must have wanted to provoke the duel into happening earlier, before everything burned down. Unless he was purely trying to stop Vader with the scary helmet etc. from happening. But I doubt that because, however spooked he was of Vader, Maul has always been more afraid of Palpatine. (No one else has as much reason to be.)

Anyway, as difficult as it was to convince Ahsoka to betray Anakin, imagine trying to convince Obi-Wan to betray Anakin. Maul really did get very close to convincing Ahsoka, and that was entirely improvised. So how was he PLANNING to convince Obi-Wan?

Some cloying promise like, "Oh I have seen the error of my ways and I want to become a Jedi like you! I am reformed! Let me be your Jedi brother instead, you'll never miss that rule-breaking slut" (It wouldn't work but it might shock Obi-Wan enough to make him believe the comparatively believable truth)

Some hairbrained scheme like, "Obey me and I will use the magicks of Dathomir to revive your lover and your master! See how I can give just as I can take! Such is my power over you and the other weak little humans you love!" (Like, imagine he has a Satine zombie waiting in the wings for his signal)

A more intelligent plan would be to try to make Obi-Wan jealous like, "You know that, in his heart, the boy has replaced you with Palpatine. You know he prefers my old master's kind evil to your cruel goodness... You know that he lies to you and resents you, that he is no longer your friend." (Basically speed-running Obi-Wan to the emotional place he gets to on Mustafar.)

It wouldn't be as cool as confronting Ahsoka, who is Maul's foil in terms of getting kicked out of their orders and being primarily cartoon characters and aliens. And also because it is so cool to imagine Maul becoming Ahsoka's master, a new direction for her lost soul. But it is really fun to imagine how Maul THOUGHT this was going to go down, how he was ALL SET to have some kind of absurd confrontation with his old Jedi rival that would end in an ALLIANCE. It's another wrinkle in his complicated feelings toward Obi-Wan. By the time of Rebels, he is obsessed with Obi-Wan to the point that finding him is his greatest wish; but in his dying moments, we see that his priorities are actually a lot deeper than that obsession. His anger toward the Jedi is nothing compared to his fear of the Sith.

[kihaku-gato]

If you could assign a plant to each of your ocs, what would it be?

Honestly this is one of my personal favourite topics to the point that it used to be a tradition of mine to assign flowers/plants to my different OCs (especially Main Character ones), and then even make a fantasy flower that was the equivalent to it so I could to blend said flowers/plants into their worlds;

Terra- Tiger Lily.

The orange and black of them really matches Terra’s outfit aesthetically, plus they are one of the most vigorous and prolific of the Asiatic lilies. They also feel fiery which works excellently with Terra’s fire motif.

 Kayla- Daisy / Oak.

She has a very innocent/pure air to her (that’s overlooking at lot of her personality imo though) which was part of why the Daisy was chosen. Plus I can easily imagine her being the type to playfully pluck the petals of a daisy doing the “she loves me, she loves me not” thing.

Recently though, I could imagine a tree being a good assignment for her as well- I don’t really know much on tree symbolism so I may overlook a better tree of choice, but I’d assign her to the Oak tree; she is very strong physically and mentally, and when I think of her arms grabbing to throw something heavy I can’t help but imagine the sturdy trunk and branches of a mighty oak.

 Riivar- Forget-Me-Not / Willow.

Part of it is cause she’s blue colour-schemed as is the blue of the forget-me-not flower, but also cause remembrance of her past loves and trying to grow from it was an aspect I had with Riivar for a long long time. Tbh I wish forget-me-nots had more symbolic facets other than remembrance but that’s how it goes lol.

Like Kayla I can imagine a tree for Riivar; Willow (especially weeping willow) cause of being so lanky/tall yet very flexible, something which Riivar is both literally and figuratively.

 Demauria- Venus Fly Trap / Thistle / Blackberry.

Venus Fly Trap was the initialally assigned plant for her. I scratch my head as to why as I neither have any old notes on that choice nor can I find any specific symbolism online that resonates. My guess is that it’s cause they look so ferocious though they are so small, not unlike Demauria being very small and ferocious.

I’m still thinking of alternative plants to symbolize her and I can’t help but want to keep the aggressive motif of it; so I fall between Thistle and Blackberry so far. Thistle was the first thought despite the fact I’ve had another OC assigned to that flower as a lot of its cultural symbolism both negative and positive match Demauria very well- Bravery and Resilience, adversity, and in some cultures evil (last one would be a good jab as Demauria in the Main Story starts out as a dangerous “evil” antagonist). Blackberries too have a lot of various symbolisms that match Demauria to a degree (according to witchpedia-yeah that’s a thing apparently- “In dream symbology, blackberries represent loss, sorrow, and remorse ”, a good chunk of Demauria at the start of her story is both of those things- loss/sorrow for her killed family which fueld her rampage, and after remorse for the damage/mistakes she had done during said rampage). Plus Thistles and Blackberries can be rampant growers, which reminds me of Demauria’s swift/speedy style of attack.

 Harriet- Sunflower

Like Tiger Lily for Terra, Sunflower was an automatic choice for Harriet. Sunny prideful disposition and sturdiness is very Harriet. There’s symbolism of Adoration and Loyalty is very her as well; she is loyal to her crewmates and friends (she can be a lil bit of a ride-or-die protag much to the stress of her crew), and those she loves she’ll shower with adoration (though what first comes to mind with “adoration” is her fangirling over Riivar to near celebrity worship). Another point is Harriet’s need to be center of attention; I am reminded of how sunflowers tend to take over a garden if not kept in check with their vigor.

 Anne- Protea

Anne’s flower assignment is the most recent of everyone on the list so far, and is also the one I’m still teetering most in indecision. Like how Anne was me trying to go far from my usual OC design habits (and failing a lil bit as black and red is CLASSIC me for old OC designs), the Protea was me trying to expand my flower assignments outside of flowers I am normally familiar with. I’m not sure if Anne matches the symbolism entirely of “courage, daring or transformation”, but I do believe she has some of those aspects; courage to face her fears, and transformation to embrace more of her feminine side(? This plot point is still a wip for Anne so it’s not set in stone by any means).

 OC Miscellaneous

Shenkin’s is thistle cause thistle can symbolize evil and Shenkin is evil.

Venelle would be Nightshade cause deadly poison assasin motif.

Abbey and Laurel don’t really have anything rn though I want to assign them something eventually.

All flower gijinkas are what they were designed from (Lavadee with Lavender, BlackJack/Aris with Jack in the Pulpit for examples of two I still think about the most in that branch of OCs).

[silvia7272]

5 ~ One More New Amigo

So, after a long thought, I think Rosina meeting some other people could be good, plus I might bring some pictures I’ve drawn as well. Also, as a quick note, I hope you know I don’t actually hate any of the characters but writing Spite/Salt Fics are so fun and I love it. Alya is, in fact, my favourite character for personal reasons.

My biggest inspiration for Rosina is Goku from Dragon Ball Z, Sonia Nevermind from Danganronpa 2 and a bit of Ziva David from NCIS, although I watched that when I was a lot younger so I may not remember her that well.

Word Count: 3221

Tags: @queenmj10, @fangirl39, @animegirlweeb, @northernbluetongue, @daminett4life, @raisuke06, @indecisive-mess-named-me, if you wish to be tagged all you have to do is say.

.

I can’t remember but now Marinette’s place has a café in their bakery and that’s final, can’t be bothered to check.

***

It had been a week since the dubbed Ice Queens had become friends as everyone had put it. They must’ve been friends since they were little, they reasoned with themselves, there was no way anyone could become friends with Chloé in an evening.

No way.

Marinette had lied to them.

But they just had to get Rosina out of that toxic environment, she really was sweet and oblivious to those girls.

So, they were always scheming new ways to let Rosina see just what the really were like.

But it always made them become closer.

That field trip to Le Jardín Du Luxembourg? They became friends with Chloé.

Leaving them stranded there? They came back on a flying skateboard! Alya was devastated she couldn’t record in time, and whenever they asked Rosina if they could see it, they were denied & pushed away by the Ice Queen’s.

It sooo wasn’t fair, they were only trying to help Rosina. They just wanted to help and pull her away from the evilness the two radiated. But they were the bad guys?

No way.

But what broke their heart the most was seeing Lila’s painstakingly sad face every time their plan failed. Because it was if they had failed her, their best friend, their Class President.

So, they were determined to save their friend.

But that couldn’t take up their whole day, if it did, they would become obsessed and that wouldn't be healthy either.

So, they continued with activities and classes, until Mlle Bustier made an announcement.

***

“Now class I have an announcement, since two of our students so kindly suggested and even organised this little event themselves, so if you’d like to explain what it is to the class?” She pointed to the two people in her front row.

“I hope you all listen to their wonderful event they provided for them, now I’ll be off since it is lunch so you all best behave.” That last sentence was aimed towards the two girls at the back. Chloé had rudely announced she would be sitting with the other girls at the back, there was a reason there were only *two people per desks.

‘How irresponsible’ The blue-haired girl thought.

Adrien and Lila walked up to the teacher's desk as the others waited in suspense.

“Monsieur D’Argencourt said we were going to have a beginners fencing lesson for the whole school, and everyone from our Team is going to help out”

“I was the one to suggest and organise everything, Adrien was far too busy and asked for the best help he could get. We wanted this to be a surprise, I hope you’ll enjoy it” The whole class erupted in glee, Adrien didn’t care about the little lie she had made up, after all, he was taking the high road.

Although a certain redhead from the back couldn’t contain her excitement.

“You mean you’ve been on a fencing Team all this time and didn’t tell me, oh Sir I challenge you to a duel.” A glove flew across the room landing on Adrien’s cheek, everyone was speechless aside from a blonde who was on the floor laughing too much from what she just bare witnessed to.

Surprisingly Adrien was the first one to recover.

“Maybe you could warn me before you challenge me Rosina, but I accept”

“Adrien are you ok, oh my, your cheeks are red” Chloé was still laughing, but Adrien didn’t care.

“I’m fine, it’s a tradition in for duels anyway.”

Kim couldn’t help the smile as he thought of a suggestion.

“I’ve got an idea for a bet” They all groaned.

“Kim, I thought we said no more bets?”

“Hey! This one's good, and besides its not me who would do it” They all fell silent, waiting for him to explain.

“If Adrien wins then Rosina should stay with us. And then you can see just how bad they are and realise we are right Rosina” The others smirked, this was brilliant, Adrien was the best fencer here, and no offence to Rosina, but she didn’t seem that talented in that activity.

Before Rosina could add to that challenge Chloé spoke for her.

“We accept those terms, but when she wins you all have to back off and leave our friend alone” Adrien only wanted to have a friendly duel, not a gambling match.

“I-I don’t know guys; I don’t think that’s fa-” But he was cut off.

“Adrien how could you say that! You’re the only one who can do this, you wouldn’t want to let your friends down? Would you?” He paled, that thought terrified him. He took in the rest of the classes faces, they held disappointment, so much disappointment.

“Fine I’ll do it”

“Hooray, I can’t wait to see you in action Adrien” She kissed his cheek as they all left for lunch.

Adrien lingered for a second before catching up with them.

“Chloé what the hell you can’t just decide for her” Marinette was angry, that wasn’t fair to their red-haired friend. But more than being angry…

She was afraid.

“Its fine Marinette, she’s Crisono Tassa after all. Besides, it's not as if this bet could mean anything, you’ll stay with us right Rosina?” Rosina smiled at that.

“Of course I will Chloé, I love you two so much, I would never leave my besties. Which is why I won’t lose, I promise”

“You better, please.” Marinette looked sad, she didn’t want to lose a friend.

“Don’t worry Marinette, I’m the best fencer around here, so no need to worry, now let’s eat”

‘…I hope Kagami doesn’t hear that’

***

“I am the fencing Master Monsieur D’Argencourt, and with great pleasure, I’m here today to announce our fencing practice commences immediately” Everyone was split into groups since there were more classmates than fencers.

Marinette glanced and waved when she saw Kagami. She was about to walk over to her.

“Marinette, where’s Rosina?” Sadly, Alya interrupted her.

“She went home, considering she needed to get her own blade and armour, since she only uses her own”

“Tsk tsk Marinette it's actually called a Sabre, maybe you should fact check next time?” A jab was sent here way by the liar.

“Actually, depending which on weapon, there are three names Foil, Épée and Sabre, next time you should get your facts straight.” Kagami. Her glare was so intimidating it stopped Alya from commenting.

“I’m baaaaaaaaaack, hey guys, oh hi there, wow your cold icy stare is so cool and your freckles compliment you so much.” Kagami stood confused. Did- did this random girl compliment her out of nowhere?

“Kagami this is Rosina, Rosina this is Kagami my friend” Kagami cleared her throat to stick her hand out but it wasn’t needed when she felt arms wrap around her.

“Wow, it's so nice to meet another of Marinette’s friends, oh I’m sorry I hope I didn’t overstep a boundary, my Aunt told me about social boundaries beforehand. I’m so sorry”

“It's fine, your personality seems honest, creative, out-going, stubborn and overly eager which typically matches-”

“Ok that’s enough Kagami, can you help me put the equipment on?” Kagami was brutal enough with words already, Marinette didn’t want Rosina to be scared off as well.

“Wow, you got all of that from me, that’s so impressive, what’s my **Blood Type? And yours? If I had to make a guess ermmmm Type O?”

She blinked.

And again.

“I’ve only known Rosina for five minutes but if anything were to happen to her I would kill everyone here and then myself”

‘Where have I heard of that?’

“Erm Kagami, don’t you think you’re being a bit hasty?” She turned to Marinette with an intense stare.

“…Everyone.”

Dear Lord, she was serious.

“What is going on here? ***Thou are meant to be fencing not talking. Vitesse!” A familiar blond-haired boy came over.

“Ready Rosina?” He greeted her.

“Ready as I’ll ever be Adrian” She responded. They all sat in the stands, Alya recording and cheering for Adrien with the majority of the class. Marinette, Chloé and Kagami cheering, or internally thinking, for Rosina.

D’Argencourt was told to officiate beforehand and was eager to see if she was worthy to fight his best student, Adrien.

“En-Garde” They stood in the stance.

“Pret! Allez!”

Whoosh.

Not even a second went by before Adrien was down with a Sabre on his stomach.

“That was so fun, we should do that again Adrian” She offered her hand out to him, oblivious to everyone's faces.

“How- what- I- what just happened girl?” The first to get out of her state of shock was Alya.

“Hmm? I said I liked fencing, didn’t I?”

“But you were like inhuman out there. Why didn’t you tell us you were a pro? Keeping those secrets from us, would you like to tell us?” She lightly jabbed her elbow at the girl while she was still confused.

“You never ask-”

“Ahem, I believe we had a deal Césaire, you and the rest of the class have to back off like we promised” Alya was irritated.

“That’s not fair, we didn’t know she was a pro!”

“That doesn’t matter, you still agreed to it and since Adrien did lose you lose too, now get lost” She waved her hand in a dismissive motion before taking Rosina away.

“Rosina is her own person and should have a right to choose where she goes, are you trying to suggest she’s property?” A smug look entered Lila’s face.

“You can’t be serious right?” This time it was Marinette who stepped in.

“And just what do you mean by that?” Alix asks. She was disappointed with how much Marinette had changed.

“If Adrien had won you lot wouldn’t have had a problem with forcing her to be away from us, wouldn’t that sound as if she were property to you?” She loved being able to turn words against Lila, remembering each and every word that liar and the rest of her class had said was easy, too easy sometimes.

“It's only because we know how much of a bad influence you two can be on her, she’s so happy and I would love nothing more than for her to continue being like that around some much more politer people.” Lila had a remark to everything, one step ahead? No Marinette wouldn’t think that. No, that requires having to plan ahead in case something happened.

“Then why don’t we just ask her who she wants to hang out with?”

“Fine we will, just don’t be disappointed when your Trio becomes Dos”

“Keep telling yourself that loser” Their glaring contest ended as they turned to where Rosina was meant to be.

“Rosina you wouldn’t leave your best friends for these utterly useless people, right? Wait, where is she?” They looked around to find she was gone.

“Abstain!” They turned to see two fencers in front of D’Argencourt.

“Rosina and Kagami? When did they get there?” Bewildered, they watched when Rosina flipped through the air to dodge the touch.

“They left after you all argued, Kagami challenged her and she accepted, Monsieur D’Argencourt was eager to referee” Adrien explained, seeing the female fencers clash against each other truly was a sight to see.

‘She’s never fought me like that? I wonder why?’

“HAAAH!” Kagami lunged towards Rosina but was able to block it.

“Impressive Knave” Kagami then had to obstruct an incoming attack.

“I’ve been practising since I could walk”

“Oh really, then how about we get serious here?” Exchanging blows stopped and they jumped back and stood in their own stance.

“What are they doing? Why’d they stop?” A confused Kim asked.

“They are biding their time, waiting for the other to strike first, because this isn’t a timed match theoretically, they’ll have all the time in the world,” Max answered for everyone else.

All was still around the two, nothing else mattered but winning.

The blue-haired girl lunged first. And it almost looked like she was about to land a hit.

Almost.

“Attack, push point” The point had belonged to the silver-eyed girl.

“Wow that sure was a great workout” She stretched before doing some acrobatics across the mat.

All the while Kagami was still gaining her breath back, that match certainly took a toll on her, and yet Rosina was still as energetic as she had been, where did that leave her?

She had been the best wherever she went, she had to honour her families name, she had won all of her battles, the first one with Adrien was a tie.

So why did she lose?

“Hey Kagami, that was amazing, I’ve never seen anyone be able to compete with me before. Can we please please please fence some more, that was sooo much fun?” Kagami tried to see if there were any fictitious motives hidden in her eyes, if the minute she let her guard down she would be ridiculed by her. But there was nothing, just a happy gleam in her eyes as she continued asking questions while holding out her hand.

“Of course, I look forward to testing your skills.” They would’ve continued their talk, but they heard someone call out to them.

“That was amazing, your skills for your age are truly fantastique, you must tell me who your last Master was?” D’Argencourt was in awe of the girl’s skill.

“Oh, really thanks so much mister, my Aunty tells me I still have a lot to improve.”

“A lot to improve? Well, I’m sure we could help you with that. This was meant to be an event to show my pupils off, however, for the first time, I’m offering you Rosina…?”

“Scoats”

“Rosina Scoats, a place on my fencing Team, do you accept?” If you couldn’t tell she was happy, then clearly you were blind.

She was ecstatic.

“Yes, yes yes, of course, I want to spend more time with Kagami. Oh, Aunty will be so glad I have a club to attend. I’ve read so much about after school clubs.”

“Great, lessons are after school, every Monday, Tuesday and Friday for an hour. You’ll be given a uniform unless you want to use your own like Kagami here. But for now, lessons are over, I hope everyone had an exceptional time here.”

“Really? Great, then I’ll continue wearing this outfit, my Aunty made it specially.”

“You’re Aunt makes clothes?” That fact reminded her of the bluenette.

“Yep just like Mari. Ohhhhh~ maybe they could design together?”

“I doubt that” Marinette muttered under her breath still remembering her first meeting with her.

“Kagami would you like to go out for cakes, we can visit the bakery I live at, it's really close by?” Kagami grew perplexed.

“You live with Marinette?” She rubbed the back of her head.

“It’s a long story, I can tell you on the way if you want?” Kagami nodded, she wouldn’t be too far away from her Mother, if anything they could sit on the stairs of Dupont if her Mother wanted to.

“Oh wait, I have to get my other friends” For whatever reason the class held a smug look on their faces, mainly Alya and Lila.

“Oh, that’s so sweet of you Rosi-” She walked straight past them.

“Mari, Chlo, wanna come too?” They nodded, and as they left Chloé looked back making a face.

“Told you, next time you want to lie, don’t do it about Rosina” Marinette gently nudged the blonde before they all left.

Overall to Rosina it was a great experience.

She got to see everything again through the Ladyblog after all.

***

“Really, but you’re so nice to each other. I can’t believe you didn’t like each other before” Rosina exclaimed while chewing on her croissant. They were able to stay in the bakery to their relief, but they were on a time limit.

“Believe it or not but we were all Adrien crazy, somehow that blond held a special place in my heart before ehem, you know who joined,” Marinette replied, drinking some juice, she could eat as many pastries as she could, what was the rush?

“And I can’t believe you’re still friends with him? Aren’t you angry at what he’s done to us, to Marinette?” Chloé remarked. The blue-haired girls gave her a stare while Rosina tried to steal a macaroon from Marinette’s plate.

She was caught.

“I had been friends with Adrien long before Marinette, just because I’ve changed my target doesn’t mean I still don’t care for him. Besides, I don’t exactly want to leave him alone with a Father like his” They all, minus the redhead, shivered.

“Ok, that might be understandable, I may not like him but even I wouldn’t wish anyone that kind of life” It didn’t matter which of the girls said it, they both thought it.

“Who?”

“Oh right, you’ve never had the pleasure of knowing Gabriel Agreste”

“Who?”

“He’s Adrien’s Dad and a famous fashion designer. He never lets him out of the house except for school, photoshoots and fencing lessons. He doesn’t even allow his friends to come over and visit” Chloé listed everything she could remember about that man and paused to see Rosina take an excruciating long slip of her drink before setting it down.

“Wh-”

“If you say who again I will take your sweets!” Marinette was annoyed at her repetitive singular question before she sent a sheepish smile her way.

“Duly noted”

“He’s all alone in that house, I don’t want to him to be alone outside” Rosina’s eyes sparkled with glee.

“Wow, you’re so nice Kagami. And I don’t think its that bad, he hasn’t exactly done anything to you, I mean I know we’re all friends, but I guess we can’t force someone to stop their friendship with someone else right? I mean I don’t really know but I-”

“We get it, Rosina, you can stop you’re rambling it's getting annoying”

“Chloé!” Marinette had a long way to go before Chloé would be deemed ‘nice’

“Its fine Mari, sometimes I tend to keep talking until someone stops me or Aunty hits me on the head” She laughed to try and ease the tension, but it didn’t appear to work.

She was about to say something else, maybe they could plan to do something over the weekend, or maybe finally have a sleepover, she’s always wanted to do one of them.

But they heard the door open, and since Rosina and Kagami weren’t facing the door they were puzzled as to why they were stunned.

“Rosina Scoats” At her name being called out she immediately turned around. She saw a woman with blue hair with a slight twinge of red with glasses in a suit standing behind her, and she was holding something.

A tablet with a man who held a stern face, it almost made Rosina become nervous.

But she didn’t know what that word meant.

“Yes? That’s me, how can I help you?” She chirpily asked, she felt a kick to her leg but her smile never faltered.

“I would like to propose an idea, I would like to discuss it further at the Agreste household, if we may?” They both awaited her answer.

She didn’t think she’d meet the man they were just talking about so soon.

***

That’s it, are you happy with it? I thought it would be good to get Gabriel and Nathalie in there, is there anything else you want me to add? Or any outfits you want me to draw. I might draw her in her fencing gear if you want, but I’m not sure how to change it so it feels a bit unique? I have a few ideas, but feel free to suggest anything, I’m always free to ideas.

Why do you think Gabriel wants to talk to her?

Let’s hope it's not anything bad.

Are there any prompts you want me to write with or without Rosina? Please let me know.

Hope you like it and have a nice Day/Night.

*Dupont Seating Plan ~ I always had beef with this because my desks at school were tiny so only 2 people could sit there, but on this show, it makes me think they can only have two students there because of course there's no room. Our school would’ve made 4 people sit there at least.

**Blood Types ~ All the sources keep telling me different things, but I think she has either A or B.

***D’Argencourt ~ Might need some help writing him in character, very unsure about him.

[gerardwritestuff]

May 7th 2018

I wonder what happened that day.

I wrote something in phases.

If you want a written entry on what happened I'll tell you.

But only you, I don't think I can trust anybody with this. Plus, no one wants to help me with it concerning my best interests so there's not much done with it.

Well for starters, you want the truth. Right?

You want the absolute truth but how am I warranted to give it to you? What can you do for me that's not euthanasia or some fucked up solution to helping me? What's your grand scheme that's supposedly shrouded in mystery that you can't tell me?

I don't know where to start.

"I think they can help. No, they can't."

It's a cycle.

This carousel of indecision had me so tied up in my own skin, I couldn't trust a soul. I felt like I was bound to perish and not a single person would help my cause.

You think you can help, but then you're faced with something much bigger than yourself and that's when you'll coward out because no one will ever want to take the stand for someone else.

Because that's love.

And no one's big enough to accept that. We shroud ourselves on the façade of help and care but people only care enough for you to stop being their problem after a while.

Pain is a real motivator; and I mean real, unfiltered, physical, raw pain. And the human body loves routine. So when you make pain a part of your routine your brain gives you an outlet.

And that's exactly what happened.

I lost my goddamn mind, at least I think I did. People love telling you things to shield you. No one wants to tell you the truth. It hurts. I thought I was doing the right thing all this time by telling people what they wanted to hear, but the truth is I only played the role of being this useless pawn in the game of life I've been living.

Now read between the lines.

Oh yeah, I remember, end of my second year of college.

Things were going all right, to say the least, I'd been having a blast and I'd thought I'd been doing alright but then I went to that damn counselor.

He gave me an alternative to religion. Told me that I could pour my heart and soul into this idea that everything around me was a message from God. That God was talking to me through the things around me. What the fuck.

My life changed completely.

People say schizophrenia isn't something that one could call an observable science. You can't make sense of it. Hell, it's been 2000 years and we still haven't made anything of it. Not like we're close to cracking the code to the human genome or anything of the sort.

I don't know what to tell you. I felt scared at the start. It was like the world was a chasm of wrath and evil and that everything around me screamed for an escape. But really, who was to blame? You can't expect one to live their lives normally after the truth comes out.

That's insanity. Isn't it?

There'd been a couple of things to contribute to this episode. I'd become shrouded in the fact that whatever I'd witnessed till now had been an amalgamation of my memories and that my perception wasn't driven by inference but by incredulity. The more I got lost in my thoughts, the farther away my sense of discernment drove me. Until then, I'd only ever seen life through the eyes of a fawn, and in this forest, there hadn't been a lot going on. Well, at least for me, that is.

I looked on with disbelief as everyone around me playing this game of pretense would never read between the lines. I fell to the ground thinking of how much I'd lived through basking in a bath of whim and false security. It suffocated me, pushing hard against my back as I sank face-first into the dirt. Nothing was ever the same, because nothing was ever as it seemed.

We try so hard to forget. It helps us, comforts us. We do it every day, as we see the crippled on the street and pay a deaf ear, to be guiltless about how destitute they seem; it makes us feel powerful, to know that if we never remember the pain we once went through, we'd be okay. We hope we will someday.

But that's not the point I'm ever going to try to make. I'm here to tell you that what happened to me, wasn't an option neither an accident. I'm certain things turned out the way they did because nothing would have given me a way out until I reached that point of utter desperation.

What if they can hear my thoughts?

What if they know exactly how much of a monster I really am?

Once I'd entertained that thought in my head, it fed on my psyche like a virus. I let it get a hold of me and very soon I wasn't acting like myself anymore. I didn't know what to do except paint a picture, a picture that made it seem like I knew what I was doing. Like I knew what I was talking about and had me acting like I knew what I was messing with.

Commence a feeling of awe and daring carefree. Something in me had cracked like a glass rod and my sense of self-preservation hadn’t left. It was more toward being swept under the carpet or shoved in the back of a car.

I was playing spectator now because someone else was at the wheel.

And God did it scare me. It made me a complete fanatic. Buzzing my hair and preaching about shit I had no clue about?! I was way in over my head, acting like a prophet no less, and even after I'd gotten over it, it never really left. I needed the world to know that I was losing it, and that it made me special, and that it drove me to believe things. Things that were driven by my convictions and not my real feelings. I drove my family and friends away, made them afraid of who I’d become, and now, I couldn’t be more sorry for acting so numb.

I really needed a change, I didn’t want this to be a one-off thing. I couldn’t believe anyone. When they told me that they were thinking up a solution that was the best for me, I saw it as a ruse. In my head, they were just pretending to care because they were scared that I’d keep acting crazy and wouldn’t let up until my head had cleared.

But there was some good out of it, I guess. I’m not really sure. I can never really tell with all the castles in the air. But I’m glad this shit has blown over, and I’m better now. I hope I never go back to that holier-than-thou shit. I had a few demons that I’ve fought with. Those monsters are in the past now, they’ll turn up more often than not. But that won’t keep me in a whirl, I won’t let them. The future’s in my hands, the past is how I’ll forget them.

Then and only then will I realize,

That the real monsters never existed under my bed, they never did.

The real monsters exist right inside my feeble mind.

Black and white, followed by a question at the end of the reel.

But they never stop.

Days bleed into each other and the one thing you’re left with is the only place you started from.

To draw a line between determination and desperation.

To be able to feel like you needed something else from the mind-numbing regret that just enveloped you and continues to coalesce your being.

Make it stop.

Please, just make it stop.