#my family has gone on multiple family vacations with out me now?

[im2tired4usernames]

I wonder what it like actually feels like to feel like an actual family member in your family?

[florida3exclamationpoints]

Yall wanna hear about smth? good im gonna rant in the tags anyway

[freemansgirl]

cool for the summer

pairing: amber freeman x reader

word count: 1.2k

summary: amber and reader basically get down on vacation in the hotel while reader’s parents are away for a bit

warnings: smut, choking, strapon sex, vibrating strap on, oral sex (reader is receiving), orgasms

a/n: a lil vacay smut for my girl amber bc it fits the summertime vibe rn🤭 enjoy <3

once she heard the sound of your parents leaving the hotel room, amber began to get instantly to work as she sat you on top of the bathroom counter, removing the cover up off of your bikini set. lots of kisses and soft bite marks were spread across your neck skin, each one feeling so sensual and heated, amber needed you.

this whole entire vacation trip with your family has left her feeling pent up sexual frustration that she wanted to let out so bad, but couldn’t. it would be hard for her to make any type of advance on you whether it was romantic or sexual but especially sexual because you two were always around your parents. it’s like you could never really have a moment with her without feeling like her every move is being watched. your parents had no clue what was going on between you and your so called “best friend” amber freeman, your relationship was really secretive between you two.

they simply saw amber as a sweet girl who happened to be a wonderful friend to you; as a result, they asked her to come on the vacation because they admired and loved her for always being there for you. they never thought that she would… so happen to be your girlfriend as well. the way amber stared at you for too long especially at the beach or how she would “accidentally” brush her hand against yours multiple times, when she was helping you bring in your luggage was suspicious to them but they never thought much of it. they just thought of the whole luggage thing as her being a good friend to you, but now that innocent “good friend” look was now gone leaving you two to this whole scene in the hotel bathroom.

she was so glad to actually be able to show some affection towards you, this is what she was waiting for. the temptation of trying not to put her hands on your thighs in the car on the way was hell for her. the “best friend” act was slowly getting unbearable for her to contain because she loved you. you know your girlfriend amber was the touchy feely type too, it hurt her knowing she had to hide this relationship. her eyes kept trailing down to that damn revealing, sexy (favorite color) two piece bikini set that you wore to the beach that made her go feral. since you two and your family left the beach, she's been trying to break you out of that set; at this point she found a way. the moment that your parents left, she took advantage of it.

now, look at your girlfriend, her pale hands roaming all over your body and giving nice squeezes to your ass. you exhale in surprise as she spreads your legs so she can press her hips to the inner part of your thighs and moves them closer to you. your lover’s black strap on was right up on the fabric of your bikini bottom, she stared up at you with the most lustful but excited eyes ever. “pull it down for me, love.” she ordered, which cause you to nod to follow her instructions, the bikini stopping around your ankles. when the black strap touched your damp folds as she aligned herself with your entrance, you let out a groan.

“fuck…..” you whisper causing your (eye color) eyes to widen, the strap on slowly deepening inside of you, you have to grab onto your girlfriend’s wrist to keep yourself grounded. this causes her to laugh at you, while she pushes your hips more into her sex toy. “i’m just getting starting, and you’re already grabbing onto me? i know you can take it like you always do for me.”

you start to lock your legs around her hips, both of your knees on the side of her thighs. you watched her hover over your figure, amber’s forehead is pressing against your very own, eyes both locked on each other. the pace was beginning to change now, she was going at a really fast speed causing you to widen your eyes and let out such breathless yet loud moans, your nails were digging so hard into her back, but not too much to leave a scratch as you didn’t want your parents to suspect where your supposedly “best friend” got them from.

“you’re so fucking irresistible… do you know how long i been waiting to do THINGS to you on this trip?” amber confessed, as she continued with fucking you so much. you were moaning so much from everything that you couldn’t respond as best as you can, but you tried to mutter a response back. “y-yeah, i see the way—“ you let out another breathy moan from another thrust, “you…. look at me all of the time, i been wanting you too….”

then, she grabbed you by your neck to bring you forward to her for a kiss. this kiss was so passionate and fiery, it was filled with so much desirability and neediness. you had your hands on her cheek, caressing her smooth, pale skin then your hands trailed down to her waist. the two of you had a really good makeout session, fighting for dominance in the kiss, but of course, amber won it. eventually, you pulled back once you sensed how fast your girlfriend was going, it felt like it was hard for you to keep up.

“too fast, ambs, too—“ you were now cut off with more slamming into your wet, drenched pretty pussy from your girlfriend’s strap on. amber’s strapping was so good that it was damn near causing your knees to buckle against the tension of how fast she was going. your moaning became pitiful and whining as she continued to stretch you; you tried to beg her to slow down, but the constant pounding of the strap kept cutting you off. you really prayed that your whole session with the dark haired girl finished before your parents came back with tonight’s dinner so they didn’t see you like this.

“oh shut up, you know you enjoy it when i go faster.” amber taunted, grabbing on your thigh to keep you still so you couldn’t resist her. while one of her hands gripped your thigh, the other one was still wrapped around your neck, choking you with more added pressure. your head rolled back, the back of your hair touching the bathroom mirror while you bit your left. you could feel yourself getting more turned on by this than you already are. she wasn’t wrong, even though you did ask her to slow down, you couldn’t lie you loved when she fucked you this fast because she liked fucking you so stupid on her strap. perhaps, it was a good thing that she secretly snuck her strap on inside of her suitcase, she always had a trick up her sleeve.

your girlfriend started looking back at the mirror then at you. you looked so fucking sexy just letting her get her way with you. the black sex toy was vibrating more and more inside of you, and you could feel yourself getting closer and closer. the pressure was getting to you now, your eyes were so needy as your body was about to give out for amber. “go ahead and cum for me, princess.” she whispered, pushing your hair back and giving you a soft kiss to cheek, giving you permission.

once you came all over her, you let out a breathily moan as you felt so good releasing all over her strap. the pressure she had applied on how tight she gripped your hips was now no longer there, her touch is now soft and gentle. she pulled out the strap on from inside of you and pulled you down off of the counter. “you did so amazing, all for me like always, darling.” she sweetly spoke to you, kissed your forehead and brought you in for a hug.

after that, the two of you cleaned up the mess of everything, making sure everything was wiped and disinfecting things. your girlfriend began to grab your hand and looked into your eyes, a gentle expression on her face now before taking you over to the shower. the hot, steamy water waiting for you two to enter as your girlfriend was going to treat you to aftercare to get rid of the smell of sex before your parents came home.

[mitsua]

Helping him with chores

Warnings: none Genre: fluff & reverse comfort

Series: Obey me! SWD? Pairing: MC × Lucifer

MC's . . . GN! Words' count: 0.49k

Mini context: The brothers had to divide specific chores to each other around the house to avoid any trouble about it, so what if the little MC helped them a little while they're working?

Lucifer

Might have been the one who least expected it, but definitely who most appreciates it.

He just got out of his office for the first time on the day even if it was 10 p.m. already, confiding you'd do your best to keep his brothers at bay as he he asked you to last night over messages.

He saw a short silloutte dashing side to side on the darkness, he recognized you, but thought there might be something wrong, what if Solomon made you try some of his food and it contained some sort of spell that made you go faster against your will? Or Satan's spelling had gone wrong?

Counting the time you took to come back, he grabbed the back of your shirt to stop you. He saw multiple sweat drops running down your forehead and cleaning products on both of your hands.

"Just what have you been doing MC?" He says preparing himself if he has to reprimand any certain demon overworking yourself.

"I-I wanted to help-I swear there's nothing bad!" Ok, maybe that wasn't the best way to phrase it, it's just that you hadn't expected Lucifer to come out sooner and you haven't finished polishing the last details.

"I-I did your-your chores," you said hanging your head low, now looking at your feet in shame and fear as you thought he might get mad at you because he never asked you to do so and maybe it could have hurt him more than you wanted to help.

Lucifer's eyes widened. From all the things you could say there's certainly no way he would've guessed that. Why would you? You didn't think he was capable of doing those things by himself? Weren't you overworking yourself? Just this morning he heard you shout at Mammon and Levi to be careful of the floor you just moped after dusting off every furniture on almost all the first floor of the house.

"MC..." here it was, you closed your eyes expecting him to lash at you or even worse—tell you he was dissapointed you didn't think he could do all that.

With all the effort he's been putting to finish everything to get a little surprise vacation with all his family (obviously this including you) before the end of the year, he really appreciated your acts, but couldn't get himself to express it properly.

"You know, I've been trying to decide where to go for new year's vacations..." he said, catching you by surprise, yet you gazed at him curiously.

"On the human world, any recommendations?" He said, a gentle smile on his face. This was the best way he could put his feeling on words, and the tender hug that he received and reciprocated after you excitedly agreed to help him choose made it all clear.

All writings' rights reserved © 2024 Mitsua. (Credit to the respective owners of the pictures and tagged anime character.) ⌇ my navigation!

[lovebeinaprincessworld]

Possibilities - Five

(Felix Volturi x reader)

Masterlist

Parts: 1 2 3 4 5

Second to last part! Important Info: The vampire children don’t age as quickly as in the books in my fanfic, because i hate that Renesmee is grown after a year, like she needs a childhood it’s weird!

Description: Coming back from your honeymoon, Bella has some unbelievable news that also effect you.

Warnings: Angst, blood, talks about abortion, pregnancy, gore (Birth scene)

5987 words

The moment you stepped into the castle you were enveloped by two thin but strong arms. „I’m so glad you’re back!“, Heidi smiled at you and you almost got a little emotional when you realized you started having real friends here, even while still being human. „We were only gone for a week“, you laughed and the both of you followed Felix as he carried your luggage to your room, „but I’m glad to be back too.“

„What did I miss?“, you started ascending the stairs to your floor. „Not much“, Heidi answered, „oh we have a new secretary.“ You grimaced a little, knowing exactly what that meant. „But tell me about Switzerland!“, she tried to change the topic, stepping into yours and Felix room after you.

„I’ll let the masters know we’re back safe amore mio“, Felix smiled, kissing your cheek softly and closing the door behind him on the way out. Heidi pulled you to the couch and you know what the look she gave you meant. „It was great“, you grinned a little flustered, and judging by her smirk she knew exactly what you meant.

„So you said yes? And he said yes too?“, she wiggled her eyebrows suggestively at the end making you giggle. „Yes I did and yes he did…multiple times“, you grinned and showed her the ring and she smiled, „did you know he was going to propose?“ She rolled her eyes dramatically and put your hand back down. „Everyone knew, he couldn’t shut up about it with Demetri and naturally everyone heard“, she laughed and you shook your head in amusement.

„Can you do me a favor Heidi?“, you made sure the door was shut before telling her. „Of course, you okay?“, she looked a little concerned. „I have been feeling kind of weird the last few days, don’t know maybe I caught the flu or something but I don’t want Felix to worry. Could you run to the pharmacy for me later? Felix would for sure freak out if he would come buying medicine with me“, you rolled your eyes and she giggled at the thought of the big bad executioner fussing over his sick mate.

„Yeah sure, I need to meet Aro in ten minutes but after that, I’ll run to the pharmacy for you!“, she got up and squeezed your shoulder. „Thanks a lot“, you nodded. „Of course, make sure you rest a little!“, she grinned before she was gone. Sighing you sank into the sofa, finally being able to not act as if you are perfectly well. You hadn’t been able to sleep very the last days. Your stomach being a little upset and you carefully rubbed it when you noticed it was acting up again.

You thought it would go away, but suddenly you felt the bile rise in your throat and jumped up, thankfully making it to the toilet in time. Shit, you probably really caught the flu or ate something bad, damn. After brushing your teeth, you laid down on the couch, spotting your bag and you decided to check your phone. There hadn’t been any reception up in the mountains and you didn’t take it out on the way here. Maybe your cousin had some news about her honeymoon.

And damn she seemed to have a lot to say, you had several missed calls not only from her but the whole Cullen family and about a billion text messages. ‚Call me as fast as you can!‘ Now you were seriously worried. You immediately sat back up and called her, your heart speeding up at all the horrible scenarios running through your mind. „(Y/N)? Thank god you finally called back!“, she sounded exhausted and extremely worried.

„Yeah we were on vacation and I didn’t…Bella is everything alright? You okay?“, you asked with a frown on your face. „Yes and no…are you alone? Can anyone hear you?“, she asked and you were wondering what the hell was going on. „Yes I’m alone! Can you please tell me what’s going on?“, you were getting antsy. „Okay before I tell you I need to ask you something“, she was still being ominous, and you could hear some rustling before Edwards voice came through the phone.

„What she’s trying to ask is: Have you and Felix been having sex?“, you were momentarily stunned by the annoyed and cold edge Edwards voice had, wondering what the hell was going on in Forks. And you were also stunned by the question itself. „Uhm…what?“, you stuttered around uncertainly. „(Y/N)“, Edward had a sense of urgency in his voice that gave you the chills, „answer the question.“

„Yeah we had sex last week“, you blushed furiously but told him nonetheless. God this was weird. „Shit“, he cursed and there was rustling again. „(Y/N) this is Carlisle“, yet another voice came through the phone and you were freaking out. „Carlisle what the hell is going on here“, your voice was shaking and you were anxiously grabbing onto the pillow in your lap. „Have you been feeling sick the past few days?“, he asked and your heart sank. How could he possibly know that.

„Yes“, you whispered, not being able to form more words. „Okay I need you to listen to me carefully right now“, he started and the more he explained the paler you got.

————————

After you hung up with the Cullens you sat in silence for a few minutes trying to calm your racing heart. Pregnant? You still couldn’t wrap your head around how this could’ve possibly happened. Vampires weren’t supposed to be able to procreate. But from what you were told, a very pregnant Bella and a possibly pregnant You were the evidence. And it didn’t seem to be a safe and easy pregnancy either.

Taking a deep breath you reminded yourself that you couldn’t even be sure if you actually were pregnant too, Carlisle told you to ask one of the Vampires in the coven to listen for a heartbeat - or get a pregnancy test, but that would take longer. But who on earth would you ask? You knew Felix and you knew that if he would find out how dangerous the pregnancy would be, he would probably want you to get rid of the baby, he would never risk your life.

But you weren’t sure that’s what you wanted. You had always wanted a family, but after meeting and falling for Felix you knew that wasn’t an option so you had accepted that, content with it just being the two of you for eternity. Actually having a real opportunity to have a child with him now? It felt more like a miracle than the curse Carlisle described it as. And considering Bella didn’t get rid of her baby either, she seemed to think the same.

So you needed to have someone on your side before telling Felix, and the one person that came to mind right now was Heidi. Hopefully you could catch her before she left for the pharmacy - you probably didn’t need the flu medication anymore anyway. Trying to calm your racing heart and trembling hands, you slowly stood up and stepped out into the corridor.

Your mind was racing with all the things that could and probably would happen in the next few days, while simultaneously trying to find Heidi in the maze this castle was. But that train of thought was suddenly interrupted when you encountered Jane. You two weren’t crazy close, but she was nicer to you than to most other people. „(Y/N)? You don’t look good, are you alright?“, she asked and you knew if it was bad enough for her to pick up on, it was bad.

„I’m-“, you started but your voice gave in and you could feel her grip your arm and lead you to a room nearby, sitting you down on the couch there. „Do you want me to get water or something?“, she asked, clearly unsure of how to handle a human that seems sick. „No, no it’s fine…Jane can you do me a favor?“, you needed to know if you were pregnant, you couldn’t wait for Heidi.

„Sure“, she nodded, but she seemed a little perplexed. „Jane I…got a call from Bella earlier“, you started, not really sure how to explain this situation. Jane just looked at you in a way that said she couldn’t give less fucks about your cousin. „Bella is pregnant, and before you say something“, you stopped her when she openend her mouth, „the Cullens are one hundred percent sure it’s Edwards. Trust me I asked that.“

„But that’s not possible“, she said after a few moments. „I thought so too, but the way Carlisle and Edward talked about it convinced me…I mean that and I experience…“, you took a deep breath, „I experience the same symptoms Bella did in the beginning.“ Jane stared at you blankly for a few moments.

„You’re pregnant? And it’s Felix’s?“, she asked when she managed to wrap her head around what was happening. „I actually don’t know yet and that’s why I’ve asked you for a favor…Jane can you hear a second heartbeat?“, you reluctantly asked, you would label the both of you as something close to friends, but you still weren’t sure how this would play out.

She stared at you with those deep red eyes for a moment longer before they dropped to your stomach and she concentrated. „There is a second heartbeat“, she announced after a few moments, her normally cold and controlled mask cracking a little in shock and wonder. You on the other hand didn’t know how to feel, you were happy on one side and excited but also scared shitless of this dangerous pregnancy and the reactions of the others.

„Shit“, you mumbled, a hand automatically resting on your still flat stomach. „This is crazy“, Jane said, taking an unnecessary breath. „Jane, can you…I need someone to be on my side“, you whispered, „Carlisle told me if I want to keep this baby, it will be a dangerous pregnancy. They didn’t give me too much details but they said Bella isn’t doing well and if I am pregnant I should go to Forks as fast as possible.“

Jane always picking up on more than you thought, knew what you meant. „You think he will want you to get rid of the baby“, she stated and you nodded meekly. „I just need someone to back me up“, you admitted already stressed about telling Felix. „You’re my friend, of course I will be on your side“, she told you and you smiled when she said you were friends. „Thanks Jane“, you squeezed her cold hand for a moment before sighing.

„We should probably tell Heidi too, and let her know she doesn’t have to go to the pharmacy for me - it’s not the flu after all“, you told Jane and she agreed. The two of you thought it would be best that she’d go searching for Heidi and you would wait for Felix in your room - gathering the courage to tell him what you thought was a blessing, and what you anticipated he would think of as a curse.

—————————

„Mia cara, forgive me for taking so long“, you winced a little when he suddenly appeared in the room. The smile you gave him didn’t seem to convince him, because he sat down next to you with an unhappy frown. „What’s wrong?“, he pulled you into his arms, so you were sitting next to him in his embrace. And for the first time since you accepted your bond, you weren’t entirely sure this was the best place to be for telling news with the seriousness of yours.

You gently kissed his jaw, his arms pulling you into him a little tighter and you took a deep breath. „Felix there’s something I have to tell you“, you started and he brushed some hair out of your face in concern, listening intently. „You know you can tell me everything“, he reassured you, taking your hand and kissing it softly.

“I got a call from Bella”, you said with a shaky voice, “and…no one knows how, but…but she’s pregnant.” The confusion on his face was obvious. “It’s Edwards”, you added, and he shook his head in denial. “What? Edward can’t…”, he started, but the serious look in your eyes made him pause, “it’s not…it’s not possible. It can’t be…right?”

You were silent for another moment, giving him the time to process it. “Carlisle doesn’t know how, but he is sure that Bella is carrying Edwards child”, you whispered, the arm that embraced you was tense, and Felix face was frozen. He seemed to realize where you were going, his eyes wandering to your stomach in shock.

The silence was palpable for a few moments, before he closed his eyes and took a deep, unnecessary breath. “You’re…”, he stopped, not able to make his mouth form the word. “Pregnant”, you finished, unsure what he would think. He didn’t even know the pregnancy would be incredibly dangerous, but maybe he didn’t want a child at all. He gave up on that millennia ago, and what if he didn’t even like kids? God, you were a nervous wreck.

“Say something”, you pleaded, your nerves slowly getting the best of you, your eyes filling with tears. He opened his eyes when you spoke, his hand immediately cradling your cheek when he saw your wet eyes. “I’m sorry amore, it’s just…a lot to wrap my head around”, he sighed, kissing your forehead in comfort, “for two millennia I haven’t thought about ever…” He let the sentence hang in the air.

“I’m…suprised, but I’m happy”, he smiled a little and seemed less tense, but when you didn’t match his positive reaction, instead looking guilty, he frowned again. “There’s more”, he realized, his expression sobering up in a second and he went rigid again, “tell me.” You sighed, closing your eyes for a second before biting the bullet. “Bella’s really…sick”, your voice was quiet, but you were sure he heard you anyway, “they wouldn’t tell me exactly what’s going on, but they…”, you broke off, swallowing dryly.

“Tell me”, he urged you worriedly, the crease between his brows marring his otherwise perfect face. You were speechless, not knowing how to tell him or how he would react. Your silence seemed to imply how bad it really was. “Tell. Me.”, his eyes got darker and his voice deeper, his anger and fear of losing you obvious. “They said she might not make it”, you whispered, and that seemed to be the last straw, because suddenly he wasn’t next to you anymore, and the coffee table was thrown against the opposite wall, breaking into a thousand pieces.

Your tears finally spilled over, and quicker than you could see Heidi and Jane were standing in the room between you and Felix. “You need to calm down Felix”, Heidi told him, your angry mate throwing around more furniture in rage, making you gasp. “Felix!”, Janes sharp voice cut through the room, “you’re scaring her.”

That made him pause, his back to you, but he was still incredibly upset. “We need to tell the masters as soon as possible, so we can get her to the Cullens - she needs Carlisle”, Heidi tried to rationalize and Felix seemed to agree. “Yes you’re right, he needs to get rid of the baby”, his voice had an edge to it you hadn’t heard before and you shivered.

“Felix wait, please”, you finally found your voice again, still upset that this has played out exactly as bad as you thought it would. “What’s there to wait for? We need to get you to Forks”, he didn’t meet your eyes, didn’t even turn in your direction. “Felix I…I want to keep the baby”, you whispered, kind off glad that Jane and Heidi were there.

It was silent for a moment, and then he turned around, the pain in his eyes when he met your teary gaze, made your heart hurt. “I won’t lose you”, his voice was firm, his eyes hard and then he was gone. “That couldn’t have gone any worse”, you sighed, sinking back into the couch and hoping for the best.

—————————

When you arrived in the throne room, it seemed the kings and everyone else in the guard were already informed by Felix - considering the way they were eyeing you suspiciously. You were glad for Heidi and Jane walking next to you. “Dear (Y/N)”, Aro was grinning the way he always did when he was excited, “we heard rather impossible news.”

“It’s true”, you said, your voice shaky and you were sure the vampires could see that you had cried previously, “Carlisle told me Bella is in the same condition, just further along, and Jane and Heidi confirmed I’m…pregnant.” It felt weird saying it out loud infront of them. The kings, Felix, Demetri, Alec, Santiago and Renata were there and you felt exposed.

“Yes, we can hear the heartbeat”, Caius seemed unhappy, “but that doesn’t confirm it is fathered by Felix.” That moment was the only time you wished Aro could read your thoughts, just to confirm your were telling the truth. “I didn’t…I would never…”, you couldn’t even say it, much less ever do it. You would never cheat on Felix. “Now, now Caius. Don’t accuse her of something like that”, Aro tutted and smiled at you, which wasn’t really comforting. Felix was standing next to Demetri with a stoic look on his face.

“Let me call Carlisle, hear what he is saying. And you should go pack already”, Aro announced, “We will take the jet in the evening, Demetri, Jane, Alec, Santiago and myself will come.” You just nodded, the nausea from the pregnancy, the fight with your mate and the whole situation just exhausted you. Heidi grabbed your elbow to guide you to your room, when suddenly Marcus spoke up. “I will come too”, his voice as unused and emotionless as always, but it cut through the air like a knife and made everybody go still. “Alright. Caius will stay here, and manage everything”, Aro agreed after a moment of surprise.

You were wondering briefly why Marcus wanted to come, but Heidi was already stirring you away from the scene, probably to help you pack. She knew you were in no condition to do that. Felix stayed behind, and maybe it was better to give the situation some rest.

He watched you leave the room, his face a stoic mask, but his thoughts all over the place in panic. He couldn’t lose you, he only just found you. He was sure it was his child you were pregnant with, he trusted you and wasn’t the least bit worried you cheated. And while the thought of you carrying his child made him excited, the risk it brought killed the joy in his heart instantly. “What is it Felix?”, Aro saw the way his eyes were looking at you in pain rather than joy.

Felix turned around after a moment, not being able to say it out loud, say how you could die if you decided to keep the baby. So he held his hand out for Aro to take, the mind reading vampire not hesitating. “That’s rather unfortunate”, Aro sighed and Felix squeezed his eyes shut in agony for a moment, “it seems that if our dear (Y/N) decides to keep the baby, it is quiet possible that she will not make it.” Demetris face fell a little, feeling worried about his best friend - and about you, who had also become dear to him.

——————————

You were sunk into a big chair in the jet, hiding in the corner of the cabin. The others were at the front, just Jane sitting with you. You were trying to let the constant humming of the machine lull you to sleep, but you weren’t feeling your best and you were missing your mate. You didn’t want to pressure him, and you did understand why he was so angry, but you still missed him.

You had had such a perfect honeymoon and now that bubble had burst, you thought with a few silent tears running down your face, staring out the airplane window. It was mostly dark in the cabin, so you were confident no one saw your tears, but Jane gently grabbed your hand, squeezing it reassuringly. You looked over a little blushing, and your breath hitched when you saw Felix standing there.

Your eyes jumped to Jane who smiled a little, letting go of your hand and giving her seat to Felix, who sat down next to you silently. He was carrying a blanket, and lifted up the armrest seperating the both of you, before spreading the blanket and finally meeting your eyes in expectation. New tears welled up in your eyes when you realized he wanted you in his arms, the thought of him still trying to make sure you’re okay even while being angry with you made you even more sure this mate thing definitely picked the right one for you.

You gently scooted over into his embrace, and he immediately wrapped you in the blanket, pulling you tightly into his chest, your head in his neck and you felt like you could finally relax your tense muscles. There were no words exchanged between you too, you knew he was still angry, but you also knew he loved you. That was enough for now.

——————————

It felt weird, driving through the once familiar town that you left behind. You would’ve thought that it would ignite some kind of longing or sadness, but the only thing you felt was fondness for the memories you made there, happy with your new life in Italy. You were sitting next to Felix, who was still holding your hand but you two hadn’t talked since your fight in Volterra. God, you hoped Carlisle had news for you that helped you calm your mate down.

The car turned onto the familiar sideroad to the Cullen house and eventhough you knew Bella was really weak, you were still happy to see everyone again. Felix helped you out of the car, the others already standing neatly organized and perfectly still infront of the house. He protectively wrapped an arm around your waist and wanted to lead you to the others, but the door opening stopped you.

“Alice!”, you smiled and walked up to the door before anyone could try to stop you, your mate grumbling unhappily behind you. “(Y/N)”, you could tell she was nervous because of the Volturi, but she greeted you warmly anyway, embracing you before Carlisle joined her at the entry.

Suddenly Aro was standing next to you, Alice pulling you to the side gently. “Hello Aro, it’s been a while”, Carlisle greeted his old acquaintance with a polite smile.

“Carlisle”, Aro nodded and held out his hand immediately, making Carlisle reach out without hesitation. “So it’s true”, Aro was in awe, looking between the two Cullens with wide eyes. “It is”, Alice said a little coldly, your eyes meeting your mates, who looked even unhappier.

Felix didn’t like the way you were standing so far away from him, his protective instincts dialed up even more now that you were carrying his child - he still couldn’t believe it, his child. “Why don’t you come inside, there is a lot we need to talk about”, Carlisle stepped aside to let them in and Felix suddenly smelled the Shapeshifter. He was at your side in an instant, holding your waist possessively.

“There’s one of the dogs”, Demetri growled in his stead, the others not looking to happy either, except Marcus who looked as lethargic as ever. “Jacob’s here?”, you were surprised, after Bella married Edward it seemed that he wouldn’t be willing to stick around anymore. “Yes, there is some trouble with the pack and he decided to…stand up for Bella”, Carlisle led you up the stairs and into the big living room, where Rosalie and Jake were blocking your view of Bella.

The other Cullens were also standing in the room, greeting you with a smile. “(Y/N)?”, a weak Bella asked from behind her guards who reluctantly stepped aside when she asked them to. You tried to hide your shock behind a soft smile, approaching your Cousin and sitting next to her carefully.

She looked like death to be honest, and from glancing at the Volturi they were nearly as shocked as you. Felix looked pained and you knew it was because of what he thought would happen to you too. “I missed you”, you said, instead of asking her how she was - which would’ve been a stupid question. “Missed you too”, she smiled a little, taking your hand in hers, “I’m glad you’re here.”

“Would you follow me into my office?”, Carlisle interrupted the moment and you squeezed Bella’s hand once more before standing up again and followed the Volturi into Carlisle’s study, catching a glimpse of a tortured looking Edward in the corner. So he blamed himself too, just like Felix. Your mate was once again holding your waist, as if leaving you out of his sight would make you disappear.

Once the door was closed and everyone was settled, Carlisle started to explain what they knew, which wasn’t much. “We didn’t know it could happen, but it did. And we still don’t know much more, neither the ultrasound nor needles or anything else can penetrate the uterus safely. We only know it grows rapidly, draining Bella. It is already stronger than any human - It’s breaking her ribs. Just two days ago we had the idea that it probably needs blood, which Bella is drinking and it helps a bit, but she’s already too far for it to make any real difference. She’s so weak and the fetus so strong that we don’t know if she will make it - I’m not sure the venom could save her.”

The grip Felix had on you was tense and rigid, the silence in the room deafening. “This is all very extraordinary”, Marcus said and you couldn’t even really be shocked by him being the first one to say anything. “I’m glad you got here so quick. If you want to keep the baby I hope starting to drink blood immediately will help, because in theory the fetus won’t drain you as much. But if you don’t want to-“, Carlisle added, but you interrupted him.

“I want to keep it”, you said, you were sure it would be alright if you started with the blood early. This was your only chance to have a baby of your own, you would regret it forever if you didn’t try. This was your choice, a choice every woman should have and you would decide to keep the baby.

„Okay“, Carlilse looked a little pitying, nodding and stating that he needed to at least examine you, even if the ultrasound couldn’t show anything. So you followed him to another room, Felix only following you when you looked at him with a questioning look. You felt horrible for being the reason for his tortured expression.

After feeling your abdomen and asking a few questions, Carlilse gave Felix and you a moment alone, telling you to come to the kitchen after to get a cup of blood. God, that sounded so weird. „Say something, tell me what you’re thinking“, you whispered gripping his hand gently. He closed his eyes for a moment, taking a deep breath.

„I did this to you“, he finally answered, making your heart hurt. „You didn’t do anything to me Felix. It takes two people, and I know you don’t see it that way right now…but this seems more like a miracle than a curse“, you spoke quietly, not wanting this to turn into a fight again. „You’re right, this isn’t a curse, it’s worse. I’m going to lose you (Y/N)“, you were sure if he could cry he would, and you pressed your hand to his cheek.

„You won’t, okay? If I started drinking blood right away, I won’t get as bad as Bella, and I can make it“, you reassured him. „I hope you’re right mia cara…I hope you’re right“, he sighed and pulled you into his arms. „You…you won’t leave right?“, you whispered, just because you wanted to keep the baby doesn’t mean you weren’t scared, and you needed him to be with you through this.

He pulled back with a look of shock on his face. „(Y/N) I would never leave you. You’re my mate, my wife, I love you and nothing will ever change that. I might not agree with your decision entirely - don’t get me wrong having a child with you would be great if it wasn’t for the high risk - but I will stand with you through it all Love“, he promised making you just nod and bury your head in his chest. „I love you too“, you whispered, his cold lips leaving a soft kiss on your head.

————————————

Carlilse handed you the cup of blood and you eyed it warily, Bella already drinking hers, but most of the vampires in the room (the ones that could handle the blood) were watching your reaction. Felix was sitting next to you, Demetri trying to hide his humorous expression and Jane and Alec looking at you with genuine curiosity. They had never seen a human drink blood before, and even the Masters and Santiago were intrigued.

This was so weird, drinking blood that came out of someone else gave you a quirky feeling your stomach, but before you could think too much about it, you took a sip and forced down the gulp of cold thick liquid. It tasted really metallic and you were shocked at how easily Bella could drink that, maybe because she was further along in her pregnancy.

„That’s…disgusting“, you grimaced and looked at your cousin, a few of the vampires chuckling, „how can you drink that?“ It was more a rhetoric question, your cousin rolling her eyes with a smile before continuing her drink. You thought for a moment, before deciding the best plan of action. „Okay I’m gonna pretend I’m at a party and have to chug this“, you took of the lid, the deep red liquid sloshing inside the cup and took a deep breath, before chugging the cup in record time.

„That was…impressive“, Demetri grinned, and you wiped the corners of your mouth, shuddering a little because of the aftertaste. „How do you know how to chug like that? You’re not even 21 yet“, Felix asked, Bella and you exchanging looks and giggling quietly. „How do you feel (Y/N)?“, Carlilse asked, fondly rolling his eyes at you and Bella, and gave you a once over. „Not much different“, you shrugged and suppressed a yawn. The time difference was making you tired, it would’ve been the middle of the night already in Volterra.

„You need some sleep amore“, Felix brushed a piece of your hair back before taking your hand and pulling you up. „Alright“, you yawned, „Good night!“ Bella waved and Rosalie helped her up too, she needed all the rest she could get.

——————————

It was chaos. The pack didn’t back down from the fight even with the Volturi there. You pleaded with them not to kill the Pack and were now holding Bella’s hand who was in Labour, with a broken spine. All of this looked like something straight out of a horror movie. Because Aro, Marcus, Jane and Alec were out hunting with Carlilse and Esme, you were a bit understaffed and now Alice and Rosalie couldn’t handle the blood and had to go. So it was only Edward, Jacob and you left - Felix, Demetri and Santiago fighting outside.

You just hoped Felix was alright, but your thoughts were interrupted, when Edward tore open Bella’s stomach, holding a small baby in his arms. Like, an actual cute little baby - and you were partly relieved that there wasn’t something weird growing inside of you. The baby started screaming and Edward smiled, a rare sight these days. „It’s Renesmee“, he told Bella, and you gently and excitedly squeezed her hand. You were an aunt, you thought with a smile.

„Beautiful“, Bella whispered, and Edward carefully placed the baby in her fragile arms, so that she could hold her daughter. But suddenly it seemed like the vampire part of the baby came through, and she bit Bella with her small teeth, making Jacob worry and Edward take Renesmee back.

And then she stopped moving. „Bella?“, Jacob was immediately at her other side. „Bella!“, you shook her shoulder, willing her to move, but she didn’t and your heart dropped to your already slightly rounded stomach. „Bella!“, Jacob called out, starting CPR and you let go of her hand in horror. What if she really didn’t make it? You hadn’t even seriously entertained the possibility of her dying - or, for a matter of fact, you. You thought Edward could save her with her venom, but maybe this situation was too bad already.

„Jacob, take the baby“, Edward looked panicked, the helplessness radiating off of him. „Keep that away from me“, Jacob seethed, continuing compressions and you snapped out of your stupor. „I’ll take her“, you whispered but Edward heard you nonetheless. „Don’t worry I’ll watch the teeth“, you reassured him and took your niece out of his arms, and settled her in yours.

You saw him take out a big needle filled with what was probably his venom, and left the room before you saw him ram it into Bella’s heart. Your heart couldn’t take seeing your cousin like that, and your niece needed you. You sat down in a chair in the living room, trying your best to clean the cute baby with the towel she was wrapped in, before taking the blanket from the couch and gently wrapping her in it.

She seemed more comfortable now, her crying stopping and her pretty brown eyes staring up at you. She didn’t try to bite you, but you were still careful while stroking her small nose. „I really hope your mommy makes it baby“, you sighed, refusing to fall into grief just yet, maybe she would make it.

——————————

„He really imprinted on her?“, Felix looked a bit weirded out when you were finally laying in bed in the early morning hours. „It’s how it works with the pack“, you shrugged cuddling further into him and hugging the warm water bottle close to you that canceled out his cold. Now that you were pregnant you seemed more sensitive to temperature.

„Mhm“, he was in thought, absentmindedly stroking your ever growing belly and you couldn’t help but smile. It seemed like drinking a lot of blood early on really helped, Carlilse said you were way healthier than Bella was at this point. „Can you still hear her heartbeat?“, you asked, and you had to give him that - eventhough you asked about the twentieth time since you layed down - he still answered you nicely.

„Yes“, he whispered, kissing the top of your head, when suddenly the baby moved. „Woah“, you were wide awake again, pressing a hand to your belly, and feeling another movement. „Did you feel that?“, you were looking at Felix with wide eyes and he matched your expression. „That’s…our baby“, he said quietly, looking at your stomach, his big cold hand covering it. „Yeah“, you sighed with a smile, settling down into his embrace again as gently kissing his neck.

„I never thought I would ever…get the chance to have children“, he admitted, and you laid down your smaller hand on top of his bigger one, urging him to continue. „If the blood is helping you stay healthy, and this isn’t going to be as bad as Bella and I risk losing you, I…I can see why you think it is a miracle“, he whispered, hope shimmering in his previously pained eyes. You said nothing, pulling him closer and kissing him softly, and praying that your cousin would make it.

================

Sooo second to last part! Hope you liked it, hope it made sense and I would really really appreciate some feedback - always helps getting me motivated to write, since I’m such a slow writer :]

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA if I uninvited a friend from a trip he helped paid and planned for, for over a year so so I could bring a new friend?

So I and three other friends have been playing to go on a vacation together for about a year now. We’re going in a few months and will be gone for about two weeks. It’s been a really big deal for all of us, because it’s been the first time in a few years we’ve all been able to hang out with each other. We’ve been friends since elementary school, so I’d consider us very close. Everyone has contributed some money to the trip. Friends A, B, and C have contributed the same amount money (around $1,000 each). I have contributed around $1500 of my own money as well. I have control of the finances because I’ll the most responsible. We’ve all shared planning out the vacation.

I recently made another friend, X. I’ve been friends with him for over half a year. We connected through B, and him and B have been good friends for awhile. X and A don’t know each other as well but get along from what I can tell. He had never met C but I figured they would get along well because they have a similar sense of humor and like similar things. B asked me if I would be okay with X coming along since I controlled the finances, and I said sure as long as he paid his share. B then asked A and C if they would be okay with X coming along.

So, something about X is that he’s trans. He only started taking testosterone a month or two ago, and he hasn’t had any surgeries. A said he was okay with it. C said he didn’t feel comfortable with X coming. When asked why he said it was because this was supposed to be an all guys trip and it’s hard for him to see X as a guy when he still looked female (his exact words). B pointed out that X is a guy, and that him not looking masculine enough for C doesn’t make him not a guy, which made C get defensive and they got into an argument.

Afterwards, B asked me if that if X was coming if C could be uninvited, and that B was uncomfortable being around C now knowing what C thinks about his friend. C said he isn’t that good with trans stuff, and that X should be uninvited because we had been planning this for over a year. C also said it wasn’t fair to suddenly uninvite him only a few months out for a new friend. I am not very good with trans stuff either, but I sided with B. I feel really uncomfortable with the way he’s been talking about X in general. Him calling X female or saying he looked like a girl multiple times during that conversation sealed it for me.

I ultimately decided to uninvite C. I want X to come with us and I don’t want C to make him uncomfortable. I tried to give him his money back that he contributed, but he hasn’t talked to me since that argument. I don’t have any way to give him the money, as he’s been giving it to me in cash for the past year. C has been lashing out at B and A too, complaining about how we’ve all abandoned him and that we were his only friends. My family has said I should uninvite X and reinvite C.

I feel like I may be TA because I uninvited him from a trip he’s also been looking forward to for a year, and effectively cut him off from a 10+ year friendship for someone I’ve only been friends with for a little while.

What are these acronyms?

[ladybugsimblr]

Rolling Stone - Fall Bailey Kay, One of One

-

Shoutout to @soulsimmin for the other musical artists noted on the cover and general Team BK shenanigans. Somebody cut the check.

Article Below

Category: Baaad Bitch

10.59pm The initials BK pop on the screen indicating Bailey Kay has joined the Soom call. The camera flashes on and my heart skips a beat. I hear her soft but firm voice say “Kiss” and another face appears in the view. Bailey’s husband Quinton leans in for a kiss as requested. The two quickly exchange “Love you’s” and adoring looks and then he’s gone as fast as he appeared. Bailey Kay turns to me and I now have her undivided attention. She flashes that gorgeous smile and my heart skips a beat again.

“Sorry. Hi! Thank you for agreeing to meet with me this late. I hope you’re a night owl too.” Absolutely not. I’m normally in bed by 10pm, but who says no to the Queen B when she agrees at the last possible second to her first interview in ages. I awkwardly reply “I am tonight!” and she laughs, exclaiming “I like you!” Phew! Any remaining tension and nerves are gone. Let’s get into this.

Channeling my glitteriest of kitties I jump right in and ask “Where are the visuals? We the butterflies are begging for the music videos and performances.” Honestly I expected a glare or an eye roll in return, but I get a sly smirk instead. “You are the visual”

I instinctively look at the small image of myself on the screen thinking I did too much with my look for this call. Bailey must have sensed my confusion and continues: “Butterfly is about celebrating life, love, and freedom, overcoming struggles and transforming into your best, highest self. I didn’t want to dictate how anyone experienced those things with the typical visuals. But I did want to get the party started so I gave you the first step- the music.”

“So you dropped the album and bounced to let us party and figure it out for ourselves?”

“You are funny! But yes, kinda. And look what happened! You all started your own challenge and created the visuals, and all I had to do was sit back and watch. Also I really didn’t leave y’all empty handed. I thought we killed it with the pics in the Butterfly Box. But I can’t forget the hive is the hardest to please and I love that. Keeps me on my toes.”

“Ok, I see the vision, but why literally leave the country and go on vacation during an album rollout? That’s unheard of!”

“Ok two reasons. The first is that was what I needed to do. That was my way of celebrating. I told my baby girl that putting out an album was like graduating. I fought hard to overcome my own issues and dark places and now that the project was out to the world, I needed to release and just be with my family, my babies.”

“And the second?”

“Because I can. I’m THAT girl! Deadass!” Again with a smile and a laugh. BK might be the nicest bad bitch I’ve ever met.

“What do you say to the critics who say the album is going to fail? There are rules to the game if you want to succeed.”

“I say check the streaming numbers and sales.” That eye twinkle and smile return one more time. “Rules are meant to be broken. Sometimes. Note to self: Redact that line before my terrors read this. But seriously if we did the same thing, the same way, every time, art, music, life would all be extremely boring. Tackling the unheard of and never been done before is my shit. I live for that. As far as succeeding… I’ve been lucky enough to have more success in my entertainment career than I ever dreamed of. Whatever I do from here on is the extra sauce and will not be measured by industry standards.”

“Speaking of the future, what more can we expect for Butterfly? Please say tour.”

“Ha! Ummm performances are coming. It’s time for me to party with the butterflies.”

“Ok, will they be on multiple stages in cities near all of us?”

“I can't with you! But I can say I’ll perform songs from Butterfly and the rest of the catalogue, on stage, soon. Stay ready.”

And ready we will stay. Ready for the Queen BK. One of One. Number One. The Only One.

[jjsmaybank20]

Family Plans

Wanda Maximoff x GN!Reader

Summary: Wanda has never had a big family. You promise to make up for that lack by inviting her into your own.

Warnings: all fluffy family shit, mentions of loved ones passing away

Word Count: 1.6k

navigation  marvel masterlist

---

Wanda never thought that she would ever be truly happy again after everything that she had been through. She had lost her parents, her brother, her country. She thought that her childhood dream of a big wonderful family was completely gone. That was, until she met you. 

You were there for her when Pietro passed away, and you supported her when she needed a shoulder to cry on. Every step of the way, there you were. You were the first person she fully trusted, and she was the first person that you fully opened up to. It was clear as day to anyone that the two of you were in love, so no one was surprised when you started dating.

A couple months later, you asked her to marry you. She didn’t hesitate to say yes. Sometimes she couldn’t help but think that this was all a dream, and that she was going to wake up and alone, or worse, in HYDRA’s grasp once again. Somehow you always knew when she was feeling like this, and you reassured her that all of it was real and that you were right there for her, no matter what.

Now you were in the car, on the way to your hometown for Thanksgiving so that Wanda could meet your family for the first time. She had met your parents and siblings, sure, but she had yet to meet your loads and loads of cousins, aunts, uncles, and grandparents. 

Wanda looks over at you from the passenger seat, watching you turn up the country radio station that you were listening to. You start to sing along to a song that comes on, bopping your head and tapping the steering wheel to the beat. “You're all alone at a party, You want to dance with somebody, But you ain't got a clue how to ask, You and your girl had a fight, And now she's saying goodbye, She ran upstairs and packed her bags.”

As you sing, Wanda can hear your country accent come out, just like it does when you get worked up or excited about something. You glance over at her, making sure to catch her eye before you dance sporadically in your seat while singing the pre-chorus. “It could be raining' on your perfect vacation, You could be stressed about your work situation, Ain't gotta listen to me but all I'm sayin'.” You pause for a second before jumping into the chorus and clenching your hand pretending that you are holding a microphone.

“Ain't nothin' that a beer can't fix, Ain't no pain it can't wash away, From the moment that it hits your lips, Makes those clouds look a little less grey! Oh you could be lonely, or heartbroken, Or hungover from the night before, Turn that frown into a smile real quick, There ain't nothin' that a beer can't fix.” Wanda laughs out loud at the sight of you bouncing around. She then just stares at you, wondering how she got so lucky.

You catch her looking, taking your eyes off of the road for a second. “What? You don’t like my dancing?” Still catching her breath, Wanda shakes her head in disagreement. “No, no, I love your dancing. I love you.” You smile at her while grabbing her hand and placing a kiss on it. “I love you too, baby.”

---

As you pull into your parent’s driveway, you give Wanda’s hand a comforting squeeze. She can’t help but feel nervous, knowing how people have reacted to her and her powers in the past. But knowing you, she should have known not to worry.

As soon as you step onto the porch, the door swings open and a horde of kids come running out, closely followed by multiple dogs. The children immediately attach themselves to your legs, and you have to quickly grab onto something so that they don’t knock you over. Your frazzled brother runs to the door, trying to get the kids to let go while apologizing, but you wave him off.

You take the kids off of you and herd them inside with an amused Wanda following closely behind. As you get further into the house, the sound of multiple conversations and children screaming gets louder. You finally get into the kitchen and spot your mother. 

“Hey, Mom! Happy Thanksgiving. Sorry we’re late, traffic was a mess on the way out of New York.” You pull her into a hug before turning around to say something to Wanda, but she isn’t behind you anymore. You look around the kitchen before glancing into the living room. There you spot her talking to your favorite uncle. 

As you approach them, you can hear him say, “Hey. You make Y/N so damn happy, which puts you in a great place in my books. If you’re their family, then you’re our family.” You can see Wanda tear up slightly and excuse herself out onto the back deck. You follow her out and sit down next to her on a bench.

“What’s up, Wands?” She glances up at you, shrugging her shoulders. “It’s stupid.” You kneel down in front of her and grab both of her hands while shaking your head. “No, no it’s not. What is it?” She looks up at the sky, sighing. “I’ve just- I’ve just never had a big family before. Honestly, for a long time it was just me and Pietro. Then it was just me. But now I have you, and your family. I never thought that I would get this.”

You smile up at her. “You will never have to experience that ever again. I will always be your family, and even if my family isn’t always there, we can start our own. Whatever you want, I’m here for you.” She pulls you up and into a hug and you quickly reciprocate. 

Suddenly, you hear the glass sliding door open and the quiet footsteps of a small child on the deck floor. You turn around and spot your youngest nephew, James, shyly making his way towards the two of you. You wave him over, and he quickly comes and hugs your leg. You lift him up so that he is at eye level with both you and Wanda, and he hides his face in your neck when Wanda waves at him.

You tickle his sides which makes him giggle and squirm in your arms. Wanda watches the whole interaction, realizing that she really does want to start a family with you. James then glances over at Wanda before quietly asking, “Are you really an Avenger?” Wanda nods, and it’s like James becomes a whole new person.

His face lights up, and he quickly climbs over to Wanda, who is slightly shocked at how fast he got into her arms. He doesn’t even notice her surprise as he enthusiastically rants about how impressed his friends are going to be that he met an actual Avenger. You look at him, playfully hurt. “You do know that I’m also an Avenger, right?” 

James nods before saying, “But like, she’s one of the super powerful ones that all of my friends love.” You gap at the boy, slightly wounded by his words, but as soon as you see the elated look on your fianceè’s face, any of the offense that you had taken melted away. 

Instead of teasing him for basically saying that you're not a cool Avenger, you tell him, “You know that she’s going to be your Auntie soon, right?” James gasps in excitement before wrapping his little arms around Wanda’s neck and squealing, “I can’t wait!” He then hops out of her arms and runs inside, wanting to tell all the other kids about their cool soon-to-be aunt.

You look at Wanda’s happy face, pulling her into your arms. She looks like she is thinking about something before she blurts out, “I want kids.” She pauses for a second before processing what she had said, and she immediately starts apologizing. You quickly interrupt her with a short, “Me too.” She pauses, slightly thrown off. “You do?” You nod, grinning down at her. “I do. I want a boy. I think he should be named Thomas.”

Wanda shakes her head, quickly rebutting, “I like William more.” You laugh, starting to walk the two of you back inside. “Well, whatever their name is, they’ll be ours, and that’s all that matters.” Wanda rests her head on your shoulder, silently agreeing with you, and imagining your own little family.

---

Join my taglist!

[admiral-mason]

I'm not dead

I'm not dead, I'm just currently in China with my family on a vacation (I have a VPN to post here), and personal interests distract me away from writing here.

I also want to say this about SAGAU: Imagine the creator/reader plays World of Tanks/World of Tanks Blitz or something like that alongside Genshin Impact

And thus when they get thrown into Teyvat they just wake up and at their side is a T-34

Or even worse, a Panzer Kpfw. II Ausf. J

Or worst of all this thing

(Guess its name in the comments if you want)

Now, the big gimmick would be ammo and crew, since tanks have limited ammo and need more than one man to efficiently use them. Here's how I think they'd work if the reader had these:

Tanks can be swapped out (if the reader bought more than one), but only if the reader is outside of it.

The reader can buy new tanks using Mora (let's say that 10 Mora = 1 Credit) while primogems can be used as gold (let's say that 3 primogems = 1 Gold). Experience can be gained by doing things with the tanks such as driving them around and shooting at things.

Since only the reader controls their tank, if the reader is injured the tank has reduced efficiency in all aspects. Modules, however, still function as they do in World of Tanks the same when damaged.

The reader uses a tablet to move and shoot their tank. They get a third-person view of everything and can zoom in for better aiming.

Tanks reload their guns via robotic arms. This also goes for how modules are repaired.

The reader can use a tank's other weaponry besides its main cannon because otherwise tanks with multiple guns would have their firepower gone to waste.

I'll probably write something on this and you all can as well lmao

Just imagine the acolytes fighting with their usual stuff and then reader pulls up in one of these iron machines

[dobnny]

alright you little shit here is everything i know

mutual

27

american (???)

obsession with carrots

knows how to commit to the bit

clever enough to juggle multiple accounts and not accidentally post from the wrong one

unhinged enough to write dobby as a sexual creature

NOT hagrid's conception story anon (apparently)

my suspect list is growing.... watch your back

My first prompt?!?!

Harry was pacing, in front of his desk, he wanted to laugh but this was no laughing matter. He should’ve known when things had started to change. It all began with that bloody help wanted ad that he posted up a few weeks ago on the Daily Prophet. 

“In need of a House-Elf, will pay and treat with utmost respect and dignity and paid days off along with an hour lunch breaks. Plus, extended paid vacation leave.” Truthfully, all of that was Hermione’s idea. A fellow mutual from the department, who was also dating his best mate. She made him pay for three entire pages on the prophet, or else she would tell Ginny that he had gone with Ron to a Quidditch match without her. To be fair, it was a guys' night, so no matter how much he loves GInny, he wasn’t going to let Ron go alone to the game….he just couldn’t.

Anyways, that's besides the point. Now let's get back to the problem at hand. Or shall he say the problem at… carrot? 

Yeah.

There was a plethora of carrots, scattered around the crime scene. Ranging from tiny and stumpy ones, to carrots that had a bit of a defective look. It was strange, but it wasn’t the craziest thing he’s ever seen during his time in MACUSA. Nope, he has seen some weird shit before, but this….this was just odd and nearing obsession. 

“Who in the bloody fuck, orders so many carrots from the market?” Harry wondered, as he ran his hands through his unruly hair. Shit. Why couldn’t he have seen this coming? The friendship that the house-elf who he used to call a friend….Dobby, had become a serial carrot stealer.

Never in his twenty-seven years did he think that Dobby would be capable of something so heinous. Now that he had the proof, he would talk directly to Robards and get a warrant for Dobby’s arrest. 

Yes, and then all of this nonsense would be over-

”Harry, is everything alright? You sent me an urgent memo,” a voice called out from behind him, causing him to jump a few feet in the air.

“Merlin, Ginny don’t do that you scared the crap out of me.” Harry said as he clutched at his chest. “Yes. I got the proof that Dobby has been the one stealing all the carrots in town.”

“Umm, ok..what do you want me to do about that?” Ginny asked confused.

Silence filled the room for a moment before Harry noticed Ginny’s eyes widen, and quickly she was shaking her head.

“whatever you are thinking get it out of your head Harry. I will not do it!”

“Please, Gin…we need this to finally put Dobby in Azkaban. Think about all the families who are having to cut back on stews and carrot cake all because Dobby stole the carrots from the market.”

“Harry-”

“Ginny, please. I can’t do this without you.” Harry pleaded, this was their only chance to bring down the house-elf.

“Fine.”

“Great! You also have to figure out what the conspiracy about Hagrid’s conception-

“I’m sorry. Hagrid’s what!”

[roseband]

My VVVIP experience with The Rose (very long):

I did the triple VIP package in Stockholm, Sweden with the boys <3

For the green room tour, they all started with a hug, which was very nice... they're all very short hahaha, but so handsome.

When I first got into the room, Dojoon commented that my top looked like some of the jackets they wear on stage, so I was happy that he noticed that lol (done on purpose!!)

The first thing they asked all of us is if we wanted anything to drink, I asked for a diet coke knowing that Hajoon is a diet coke drinker too, which turned into a conversation with them about how diet coke isn't really sold in that area of Europe cause of the chemicals in it, and how we should probably all.... stop. (I drink like 3-4 a day I have a problem)

They asked why I came all the way from NYC, I mentioned that I had a buttload of unused PTO (which they didn't know what that was, which, honestly... artist problems same reason I didn't use mine, I told them that I finally got a staff graphic artist job (forgot to mention the brand and i wanna kermit cause sammy and their photographer both own a lot of stuff from the brand i work for, and like a ton of other idols lol.... like Eric's whole family is a fan of one of the things I do some art on lol (I should seriously send him one of the toddler outfits I did a bunch on for his nephew lol)), vs the freelance I had been doing for 3 yrs before), asked if I had come to multiple cities or had gone on vacation only, and I told them I was on vacation in Sweden/Denmark.

They don't usually get to tourist when on tour, so mainly just plane/train, hotel, concert venue, maybe one part of the city, which is kinda sad ;_; also it must be so tiring, like Dojoon looked super tired and not the healthiest, so I hope he's okay, he kinda kept his distance from us during parts of the tour and also "brain farted" during Q&A......

But they asked how I got there, mentioned plane ofc, but I made a joke that u could probably take a cruise...?? Hajoon said UBER which made the others all laugh

I kinda froze a bit, it was a loooottt, so Dojoon made a joke that I could just stare at them even and it'd be okay...

I asked them if they were going to ever release the old songs (like photographer, omg, greed, can't let you go) that they used to play on their tours in 2017-19, when I mentioned omg/photographer I told Jae I like his little slap bass solos in them <3 <3 <3 (Jae def still has the most idol'y mannerisms cause he did the classic idol compliment, head turn, heart eyes and hands to chest lol)...

They're planning on releasing them in a special way for broses, and Sammy was thinking some sort of like, scavenger hunt type thing on rosarium. (pls give them to meeeeee <3)

I told them I like those (omg and photographer) the most cause I play a bit of bass guitar, even though it's not my main instrument... and that the VIP package made me want to get out my guitars again,, Sammy asked what it was and if it was guitar, which I was like CLARINET!!!! and Bass Clarinet which is like a super big clarinet that goes up to /here/ *stands and gestures height*.

Sammy and Hajoon both came to the conclusion that it's a "clarinet cello" and "like a cello to a violin" which YES!!!

So when they got the ukulele out to sign, going with the violin joke, Jaehyeong mimed it being like a violin hahaha, and as they went to sign it Sammy kvetched about how sharpies smell lol.

So I was still talking to them about the old tracks, and mentioned I was a predebut fan.... and /used to/ (at least my noggin worked there) run a tumblr page of them, and sammy mentioned he used to be on tumblr and would follow/look into fan accounts, so HELP ME, (now i'm certain they've seen that awful video ;~;) but there's no way that he hasn't seen my acct then and that's big bad energy for my brain now lol.

but for the 4 selfies they first asked who your bias was, and when I said jaehyeong soooo quickly they all made fun of me for how fast it was, but OFC!! bass baby.

Jae and I took the two selfies, plus he almost dropped my phone in the middle, so I have a third really derpy one that wasn't supposed to be taken, and then we had the two with ot4...

Pics:

I wanna know what witchcraft they use to look taller in pics though...

And also... my precious (I have to build my display for it now)

___

So after that we went for the stage tour....

I had initially hung by Jae while going on stage (and he helped me up cause their circle part of the stage was a big step up and i was wearing heels and am a klutz)

But I ended up hanging with Sammy and playing Skylar which <3 <3 <3

So two of the girls who were in my group played piano and were hanging with dojoon, and were both super good at piano btw!! <3

When I first put Skylar on I played a little bit of blackbird by the beatles and Dojoon sang alongggg, and then I played the beginning/chorus of back to me like the melody part (IDK I may slip in the audio that I recorded on my watch later, but not sure, I think I may wanna keep those private for me)

But Sammy asked if I wanted to keep playing (so I didn't get a chance on Juicy w/ Jae but that's okay, next year hopefully) and he showed me the chords to b2m and a little bit of the chords for alive.

It's really hard to play on stage, I'm not a guitar family main, and mostly play by tab/ear, so the delay you get from when you pluck/strum the instrument to when you hear it without the IEMs is really confusing.... so now I totally get why when they had that issue with their sound team with their IEMs they kept having such extreme issues cause it's like off by a half second from you playing and hearing it. (I can really only handle that delay on my reeds lol)

Also, rather than having a pedal board where they can change effects during tracks, they actually have them preprogrammed for each song, so they can change distortion type effects based on which song is in the setlist vs what effects they want at the moment. Which is different than when I went on their stage in 2018, cause they had a typical pedal board setup then.

Also when I took off Skylar, I asked Sammy what's with the heavy relic customs (cause he has two now) and he said that he just likes them..... and I sorta joked that in nerd instrument world that's not ok (even though I know someone who played at carnegie with duct tape on her fucking contrabass clarinet) and he said "well guitar can be a nerd instrument too" and like dude u do not know how weird woodwind players are... u do not get it but ily so much

___

Q&A/Soundcheck/Concert was... normal, waiting for fancams to upload now

___

We had one final group photo with the 5 VVVIPs where they also gave us the signed ukuleles and the posters they were holding backstage for us.

We got to hug them all again and we thanked them for the show.

We technically weren't allowed to give them gifts, but that was the only time we weren't watched as much, so one girl slipped them some black rose pins she ordered thru Dojoon, and I gave the keychains that I drew and had printed/manufactured through Sammy.

Sammy was impressed that I had all them and that the sticker on the back of Brittany is on the back, but when I mentioned I drew them he was like "wait you DREW these" so i'm super happy lol

...and then now i have world's worst post concert depression hahaha

[void-cloud]

So I've been ignoring my Mom all year. Which is more than usual.

See, last year I made it a point to at least call for birthdays and meet up for food every couple months or so. But this year it's been full silence from my side since what happened in January. And with the usually obligatory major holiday meetup looming in front of me, I've been trying to figure out why.

Well, turns out: I hate her.

I know this is mental health tumblr, so this isn't really a very unique statement, but I'm happy to be part of this club now x)

I knew I didn't like her. And my entire family is united in knowing that she isn't easy to deal with. But for all this time I have maintained that I don't hate her for what happened during my childhood. Yeah sure the fallout is *vaguely motions to my entire psych rep sheet* but it's not like she is the only one who had a hand in giving me abandonement issues. Both my sisters and Dad equally fucked off and left me behind in one way or another.

And yet, I don't hold the same animosity with them the way I do with her. I can have zero contact with Sis 2 for a year and we'll get together and talk and vibe with zero problems. Sis 1 apologizing to me for leaving at that time is a memory I hold dear and while I have way more conflicting feelings about my Dad, his unwavering support in the last couple years has made up for a lot of what happened earlier.

While nothing is truly resolved (and likely won't ever be at this point cause tbh I have other priorities), they all made changes and evolved and we found ways to support each other to whatever capacity possible.

Meanwhile, the person who actually raised me has just gotten worse over the years. Getting more and more wrapped up in her own bitterness and jealousy and how she has to have it the worst and everyones problems are somehow her fault and *sighs*

She yearns for connection and yet everytime something is not about her or something that interests her then it will get dismissed and the topic changed. When I got a (second) tattoo years ago, her first reaction was to say: "No stop doing that." Whenever I tried to share my interests with her growing up, she would dismiss it cause she didn't care about the thing. And then be hurt by us not having anything to talk about. I have told her multiple times that her throwing out my cool nightlamp sucked and I still think about that sometimes and so far she has apologized twice for hiding a book that had pictures she didn't approve of. Oh no, H.R.Giger is gonna...idk, I honestly never noticed that book being gone cause it was an impulse buy.

Like, there are actually many things that I can rationalize away if it was just that. Her being weird about me being queer sucked, but she also never stopped me from dating same gender or otherwise express myself. Dropping me with "family" while they fought out the divorce is a good chunk of why I am as fucked as I am but also....I 100% understand that it wasn't done with any malice. From her point of view it was the best thing she could do and welp, nobody connected the dots and did some damage control afterwards. Which is also on the rest of the family tbh

The thing is that she just never stopped being that way. Unwilling to hear that her decisions weren't good and blaming people who bring these things up for attacking her and "Well ok all is just my fault! Are you happy now??! ;_;"

A lot of things broke in me in January.

My patience for her shit was one of those.

While writing this New Years passed and I did not talk to her. Instead I spent a couple days with the rest of the family on vacation.

She has tried calling me a couple times but I just stare at the phone and move on with the day.

Idk, part of me would be elated to just go fully no contact for longer, but another wants to give her...something? A notion of why this is happening I guess. Just can't find it fully in me to formulate it yet

I'm ready to say I hate her, but I'm not ready to fully abandon her

[purplefeathersandblackleather]

Before I type up the first review of a piece of material I did over the year as part of my blogging during Gahan Nidra, I wanted to give all of you an update on a very important choice I've made in my life.

I quit my job.

Now don't misunderstand, I love my job and I have openly told my boss that one day I may go back. But during shadow work and realigning my chakras, it came to my attention that I am emotionally and physically suffering a great deal. My mental health has begun to rapidly deteriorate due to the exertion that has been taken from it within the last three years. I have worked this same job for the same man since 2016, on multiple job sites for various amounts of hours while maintaining one position steadily since being hired on. I loved it and I have never had a problem with it until 2019.

My biological grandfather died on my literal birthday (March 7th for any of you who are curious) and rather than take off, I just put it aside and went to work that weekend. I didn't know him well, so it wasn't particularly hard on me that he passed, but it was hard on me to be away from my mother while she was grieving.

In November of that same year, my ex-husband threw it in my face that Tony had died and I wouldn't be seeing him again. Flashing back on it now, I think that it may have been like finding out my grandfather died from someone else and that just made the pain worse. But rather than give myself time to process it and grieve, I suppressed it because I felt that's what was expected of me. This all happened while my grandmother - who was I'll with Dementia and Wernicke-Korsakoff Syndrome - was rapidly declining.

In February or 2020, not even eleven months from my biological grandfather's death and not even three months after I lost Tony, she passed away from complications with her diabetes because she would no longer eat. The wail that my mother let out when she got the phone call from my grandmother burns my mind... But did I stop? No. I still went to work.

And the same thing with my grandfather. I went to work THE DAY he died, giving all of my remorse and pain to my job rather than letting myself mourn and heal. And because of that, I'm here where I am, with PTSD and guilt that I didn't spend more time with my family before they were gone.

I had no benefits from this job, no vacation time and no chance of a pay raise. Truthfully, others have told me that I should have quit sooner, but I loved my job. However, I believe now is the correct time for me to call it off and pursue something else. Something that will bring more happiness and fulfillment to my life.

With the strength that I have gained from opening up myself about my troubles and the pain I have felt, I have now chosen to make the second biggest choice or my life and quit doing security. I may go back to it at some time, but for now, I need to remove myself from that obligation and allow my soul to be at peace. I need to rebuild myself and spend time with my mother, because after seeing all I have lost and just worked through, I now know that the years I have with her from here forward will be more important than ever.

So, in that regard, I plan to start doing commissions. I would rather spend my time spreading love and smiles with my art for half of the income than continue to work for the man and watch my health get any worse and regret not being here with my mother when the inevitable comes to pass.

If you read to the end of this, you all have my eternal gratitude and know that I will be picking up a pen again very soon. So if any of you have requests, please let me know.

💖 I love you all 💖

[sigery]

While going through AU information since I slept here's questions while I read. Got any visual descriptions of the characters that one could work off of? When Eclipse released the 3 from stais how did things go? Was Sun and Moon immediately on defense and thought Eclipse was going to kill them or was they willing to give the lord a chance? Is Lunar still wary of Eclipse? Has Atlas ever met Eclipse? What's Glitter's original AU like? And how would they react to Lord Saturn? I think that'd be a interesting meeting For the TFs in "Rehab" has there been any progress? Are they still stuck in their old ways? (I'm sorry I am a curious boi. Bonus questions such as: Has the deadly sin family tried to kidnap Lord Saturn to be apart of the family? How would Gluttony react to North, Catch, and Release?)

I am delighted to talk about my aus. People showing interest makes me very happy. Plus it helps me expand the universe.

This got a bit long

Currently visual descriptions are pretty vague. I will have to get back to you on that. I got another ask about that in particular so I'll tag you there. Onto the questions I can probably answer!

-

Gluttony (lunar) was released first and met with apologies and 'bribes' (toys, food, games, etc to make him happier). Gluttony and Envy (eclipse) had a serious heart to heart where Envy explained himself, past and present feelings. He promised to be better. Things between them were stilted for a while, but they grew comfortable with each other after a while.

Envy released the others due to Gluttony's insistence. Envy explained himself to them as well. Lust was a bit more sympathetic than Pride. Considering the power dynamic, there wasn't a lot that could be done from Pride, Lust, and Greed's side.

Things were pretty awkward between everyone and Envy for a while, but with time and borrowed therapists, things smoothed out. (there is a under developed au where Pride kills Envy and Gluttony runs off with the star). It's been a long while now so the family is mostly content in the new world.

-

Envy doesn't leave their dimension often except for Lord Meetings and occasionally visiting friends like Night. So no, he hasn't met Atlas. He knows of Atlas, but the two haven't crossed paths.

-

In Glitter's original dimension, his Moon was decommissioned for multiple child murders. Even with 'the problem' gone, the daycare's numbers didn't improve; so Glitter was going to be decommissioned as well. When Chaos showed up, the staff cut their losses and let him take Glitter.

Glitter didn't have a Eclipse in his world but he would be a bit nervous at first about Saturn. Especially early on before he learns to roll with it. Chaos is protective enough that Glitter won't be scared of Saturn and Beam, just wary. Okay probably a little scared of Beam, but again Chaos will protect him so he knows he is likely safe.

-

tf Sun probably has had the most progress. Lust, also being a sun can more easily understand how his mind works and how to correct things. Plus tf Sun is the most open to change without tf Moon and tf Monty's opinions guiding his own. Besides traveler is way less scary than Gluttony.

tf Moon is a stubborn bastard and regularly gets the spray bottle.

tf Monty isn't in rehab, he's in prison.

-

If Saturn wants to be a part of the family, he is very much welcome. The only people kidnapped into the family are those who have been abused, neglected, in danger, etc. And even then, if the kidnapped wants to leave, they can.

Though as a Eclipse, Saturn counts as a 'cousin' regardless.

-

Gluttony would definitely offer to adopt North, or let him stay with the sins family if he wants a vacation from Golden. Also another magically inclined lunar friend!

Gluttony would be interested in getting to know Catch & Release since their dimension is way different than most he knows about, plus it seems cool. Maybe not a field trip dimension, but one he would like to explore

[collecting-stories]

Okay obx after season one feels super kid show like to me it’s literally an ma show but they don’t cuss anymore or anything also certain actors for the show literally seem so over this show as a whole like they didn’t go to a ton of interviews for the show this season and the whole pougelandia speech they had Sarah do was weird to me and I wish they didn’t put jj and kie together so unnecessary to do that cause no everyone in the group is dating and I doubt they’ll break any of them up the writing was good season 1 then it went downhill after but also I don’t really like the show either because everyone from the show in real life Is problematic or dating or hangs with problematic people like it’s crazy how famous they all are now and how many followers they have 2020 right after the show came out when everyone were friends was the vibe anything after like right after it came out the vibes were gone the new season gave me like shows I watched when I was young I also don’t think any of them act very well

There is a lot to unpack here but I’m gonna try lol…

I don’t necessarily feel like the last season of obx felt like it was for kids so much as I felt like they were trying to be more family friendly. I think with the first season the idea was that the show was for like teens/young adults. After it took off and really got popular I think the Pate’s and Netflix realized it was whole families that were watching together, not just the demographic they intended to appeal to. I mean, I’ve watched some really great kids shows on Netflix (Anne with an E, Julie and the Phantoms, Babysitter’s Club, She-ra) and just because no one really curses on obx and there aren’t any explicit scenes doesn’t make it a kids show. I curse a lot irl but I don’t think that cursing has ever added to a tv show (language is vast and unending, you don’t need to say fuck twenty times to get your message across and if you do that’s just bad writing).

I obviously can’t speak to actors’ decisions not to do every interview but I’d imagine that some of it had to do with scheduling conflicts. Like yeah, for the majority of them OBX was their first major show but it’s not the only show they’re ever gonna work on. I mean Madelyn Cline alone has a lot going on, and I know Rudy has done one or two other things besides OBX, it stands to reason that they aren’t just sitting around waiting for interviews post-filming and that they have other job obligations. I also don’t really think not being on an interview is proof that they’re “over” the show. Maybe they are but also they’re making a shit-ton of money so I’m sure they can suck it up and be professional.

Story wise, I’ll agree that I didn’t really love this season, which I’ve definitely said multiple times. It just didn’t have the same vibes as season one. I’ll agree too that I didn’t love the Poguelandia speech or even the idea that Poguelandia (which is a stupid name, thanks JJ) was paradise on Earth. I can’t go on vacation with someone for longer than three days without absolutely losing my shit (and I know that’s just my autistic ass not transitioning well but you can’t tell me getting stranded on a deserted island was all good times…I’ve seen Castaway).

I think the Kiara/JJ storyline was all fan service. Which like, on the one hand I love fan service. But you know who does fan service well? Pysch. After season one I think the vast majority of the fandom wanted Jiara to happen but the Pate’s had already written Kiara getting with Pope and weren’t prepared to amend that who season one ending in season two just for the fans. But obviously in season three the fans won and Jiara became a thing (I’m still holding a candle for JJ/Pope).

As far as the cast being problematic…as I said earlier, this show got way bigger than anyone could’ve known and this was the first major show for a lot of this cast. When you become that famous that quickly you aren’t gonna make everyone happy all the time and you don’t have a team of people curating everything you do and say. Also I hate this idea that someone is problematic and we immediately can’t like them anymore like…there just needs to be some definition to the term or something.

Yeah I’m sure some 20-somethings who are suddenly super famous and who exist in a timeline where everyone strives to know everything about you all the time aren’t going to have the most spot-free reputation but unless they like actively murdered someone/assaulted someone/are antisemitic/racist/homophobic/transphobic/Islamophobic etc. I’m not gonna subscribe to this idea that you can’t like their work because they’re problematic. (Harry Styles is problematic but everyone loves him…I love Taylor Swift. Is she problematic? Yeah, a lot of the time). People are people and they aren’t perfect. And expecting a 20 year old that suddenly has hundreds of thousands of followers to be is insane.

And finally, I disagree that none of them can act. As I’ve said before, I think Madelyn Cline and Drew Starkey are their most talented actors. Jonathan Daviss and Rudy Pankow are also fantastic actors and they’ve really had some excellent scenes where I’m just blown away by their talent. So I wouldn’t ever say none of them can act.

tl;dr - I can’t even summarise this…basically, I keep saying I don’t want to talk about the actors just the show and somehow end up talking about the actors.

[3pirouette]

Thank you to @captainjimothycarter who reached out and let me know the Steggy Secret Santa was happening earlier this year. If you haven't signed up yet, you should!

I have been notably absent for a while. If you're nosy (like I am) and want to know, reasons are below. TW for medical/Doctor issues...

TL:DR though is I'm pretty much OK, may have a Thyroid issue and the doctor I've been seeing is completely horrible, but I'm OK.

So, it started about 6 months ago when I got reprimanded by my OBGYN for not having a primary doctor. She found this out because I had found out my Dad had a genetic something-or-other that meant it was much more likely he'd get blood clots (He's had 2, and my uncle died from one). I asked her opinion about getting tested (as I'm overweight, about to turn 40, and was on birth control.) She told me I needed to stop my BC and get tested right away and find a PCP.

I go to the hematologist. I thankfully test negative.

In the meantime, I get referred to a new PCP (my previous one retired in the MIDDLE of the pandemic in 2020... thanks.) who my friend said was great. I had to wait almost 2 months for a new patient appointment, but I figured between me having no issues I knew about, the summer, and her having a really popular practice that it would be ok.

She was alarmed by my family history of cardiac issues and recommended I see a cardiologist. She also gave me a prescription for basic bloodwork.

Now, I remind you all that in GENERAL I feel fine. I've been steadily gaining weight despite exercising a lot and have a lot of fatigue, poor sleep, and mild self-diagnosed anxiety and depression, but I was attributing all of that to poor diet, the pandemic, and stress at work. So, I waited three weeks because of a family vacation to get my blood work done.

The bloodwork comes back in 4 days with MULTIPLE abnormals.

The bloodwork came back right before my meeting with the cardiologist AND a new nutritionist. The cardiologist looked at me, my history (He treats my father who has the most issues in my family, so he knew my history WELL) and the blood work and he ran a few tests in office. He wants to see my cholesterol drop (it was high but JUST out of range) in the next six months, otherwise if I'm not having issues he didn't need to see me again.

The nutritionist (did I mention she's new? Because the other one I started seeing in the spring said not only should i get a new job if my current schedule was making me make bad choices, but that "losing weight is easy. Celebrities do it for movies all the time." I kid you NOT.) So, the new nutritionist looked at my bloodwork, stated that some of my issues could be stemming from some of the abnormal values (notably my TSH/thyroid hormone) but we worked on a plan to get my eating habits on track.

After a WEEK of not hearing from the PCP office I called them and asked if I can make an appointment to review my lab work. I had to CALL THEM. I had to wait from Sept 6 to Sept 22nd JUST to get a telehealth appointment. That she was 15 minutes late for. AND she didn't address my concerns about my WILDLY high TSH, but focused on all the other things I told her the cardiologist and nutritionist had already gone over with me. I also had abnormal liver values- but I also believe based on some of my research that can be caused by the TSH. Again, she did NOT address my concerns about my TSH.

She said we should do more bloodwork. Perfect. let's get more information so we can find out what is actually going ON. Except after a week the new prescription for the bloodwork isn't on the patient portal. So I call them and they say i can't access through my phone, only a PC or Laptop. So I have to wait until the next day to look again. it's still not there. So I have to call them and they say that they sent it to Labcorp. So I call Labcorp and they don't HAVE IT. So then I call them back and they are going to PUT IT IN THE MAIL for me. I can't go pick it up, they are going to PUT IT IN THE MAIL. After ANOTHER week I call them up and THIS person on the phone is like, "Well, you didn't get it yet? Do you want to just wait?" NO. No I don't Want to JUST WAIT. So then SHE says she can put it on the PORTAL. All told, I had to wait until October 18th (From a Sept 22 appt) to get my second blood draw.

My results came in (Still abnormal on some tests, others normal) on October 22nd. Today is November 1st and I STILL haven't heard from my doctors.

I've made an appointment for next week to get a new primary care doctor. I'm done with this woman and her office. I do NOT feel cared for at all. if my TSH is abnormal it could be the cause of a lot of the symptoms I'm having that I didn't even realize were symptoms. I do not want to wait anymore and I'm APPALLED.

But anyway- that's why I haven't been around. I've been absolutely depressed and frustrated about this situation. And I think my fatigue and inability to function (which in hindsight has slowly gotten worse) has also shown up in my inability to focus on my writing over the last year.

But, yeah.

Fingers crossed for the new guy next Wednesday.