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#my memory is so bad I can’t do this
housewifebuck · 7 months
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Can all my mutuals who changed their urls for Halloween please reintroduce themselves to me
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rendevok · 1 year
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your narumitsu art made me weep with joy and I heard you want more requests 👀
idk if this is the right place to put them but I think phoenix coming with miles to try on his glasses for the first time would be sweet :,) miles asking how they look and phoenix being just smitten. the good stuff
Dear anon… you sure know how to pick em! Things got very out of hand very quickly while drawing, and well. You inspired me to draft a comic! I didn’t want to make you wait long, so here are the sketches for the pages relevant to your request <3
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Thanks so much, and hope you enjoy~! 💜
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batwynn · 5 months
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Me, on my ADHD med: this can’t be working. I still have memory problems and ‘bad habits’.
Me off the meds because of storm and PA delays: oh. lol. Nvm.
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swampthingking · 4 months
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the thought of cracking the spine of a book makes kevin nauseous. he like opens it just enough to see the words and holds the book at such uncomfortable angles to read— anything to keep the book pristine and intact. he does not let people borrow his books because he is a control freak (as a term of endearment) and does not trust them to take care of them the way he does.
and andrew is the complete opposite, cracking the spine as soon as he opens it. he annotates in pen. he dog ears the pages because who the fuck has time to find a bookmark. he throws books out of anger. he throws them at aaron for fun. he lets them get smashed and torn in his bag. he always keeps them, he just prefers them to look like they’ve been read.
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caterpillarinacave · 2 months
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So you choose not to step through the door, after all why mess with nonsense when you're already in nonsense? You check the items in your pockets, your phone you shut off to conserve power, the dog tag, key and top clink together but offer no help, and when you fiddle with the walkie-talkie you manage to get it to turn on, excitedly you call out to the void but only static responds, which is disappointing but predictable, so you put the items away and hunker down for the night, looking at the sky you can see that the stars seem strange, though you're no expert, and the moon seems to have a second smaller moon near it which looks pretty cool but is a stark reminder of how not on your own world your predicament has landed you.
In the morning you begin looking through the nearby bushes and plant life taking note of anything strange, you notice the berries you had been picking before you stepped through the door are also growing around here, they look and taste the same, and some other plants seem pretty similar to the forest from before as well, although the further away from the door you go the more unfamiliar plants you come across (of course that may just be your lack of familiarity with plants) and the few animals you have noticed are bizarre in a way that you can't explain, like the people from town, they seem almost perfectly familiar, just a little off and the noises they make have you thinking they wouldn't be able to communicate with their counterparts either, brushing aside another branch you come across a strange funnel made of metal which you pocket and what looks to be a regular whistle, you wipe it down and blow but hear nothing aside from the air going through, you consider it is either broken or maybe a dog whistle, as you go to put it away you hear something big running in your direction, before you can decide how to react a large creature storms out of the bushes and stops in the clearing before you, it's huge as a horse with paws and sharp teeth it licks as it looks around and spots you, it shakes its head again reminding you of a horse, then steps closer before turning and staring expectantly, you get the feeling it's waiting on you, impatiently, and you realize it seems to expect you to get on its back. Do you get on?
Yes.
#I am a terrible terrible Irish child#Clearly all those folk tales whose only moral was “don’t climb on the strange horse” were lost on me. Technically not a horse though. So. H#Uh please don’t run into the bog with my on your back strange horse thing.#…This may be one of my worse ideas#On one hand moving away from what appears to be the only connection my world doesn’t sound like a great idea#Back through the door is logically the the best bet. However I’ve already explored the area#The only thing to do would be to just sit there for hours and that will get me nowhere. The things that do have leads like the walkie-#Sputtering are things to pay attention to but not things that are likely to change if I don’t move. The whistle is the newest thing-#And let’s be real I’ve been in the bramble for like 14 hours without the neurospicy meds I am teetering on dangerously antsy#Probably better to get on the horse before I come up with something more stupid#It’s interesting my world flora seems to surround the door. I wish I’d payed more attention before I stepped through#If the nearby flora on the other side seemed like it would come from this world it would suggest that the door just leaks between universes#In two ways. If it’s earths flora then it’s either only leaking one way which we could no from one step through#Or - which we will not know but should pay attention for if we step into some other world - if the earths flora shows up around EVERY porta#Which would suggest earth is the base in some way#It might be beneficial to climb a tree to try and see farther out#Though I don’t exactly get many opurtunited to haul myself up a tree so I would put to much stock in a)my upper body strength#And b) my ability to chose a tree that won’t kill me#It’s defintley worth taking in as much info as possible. I’ll try and notice things like different winds gravity tempature ect#What should i tag this all. Help I got lost in a blackberry bush? Anon who takes me to alternate planes of reality?#I know#Guys I got lost in a bush#That’s a good one. Nothing weird there at all.#FINE I’ll rage it “guys I got lost in a blackberry bush”#I wonder what makes things so familiar. Perhaps this world exists very closely to the other. Perhaps they’ve crossed paths before.#Perhaps they’ve shown up in our dreams. Perhaps I have bad memory and my brain gaslights itself into thinking everything’s familiar#I wonder maybe the horse is a horse/dog thing- that would explain the likeness to the dog whistle (?)#This can’t get any worse I say doing something that could very much make it worse#Eh what’s the worst that can happen. At least I don’t have to pay taxes in this world#Guys I got lost in a black berry bush
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Well not exactly a vent but it’s just stuff pertaining to my personal life that only a few mutuals know about sooooooo yeah read the tags first for content warnings
Just talked to a friend from school after a long long time because i wanted to make sure he’s doing okay (he’s Palestinian) and yeah i just talked about how I hope i see him whole and healthy when I come back to school next month, and he said that he hopes I’m better too
And I was like wait what
So yeah idk if you guys know but memory issues are probably my main main problem right now in that they’re actually horrifically bad and I should really see a professional about this as soon as I am financially able to. So I was like okay what if there was something wrong with me last time I was in school
So I asked him what I was like last October and he said that I seemed really stressed/paranoid and that I seemed really on edge (those are his words) and like damn. In that regard yeah I’m doing so so much better now than back then. Which is understandable because England always fucks up my mental health I just didn’t expect it to be that bad in October. What in the world was a stressed about? I had nothing to be stressed about except my medications doing their job. NOW I have about a billion things to be stressed about. And honestly what was I being paranoid about. I have pretty much no memories of last year now which is obviously not ideal because I have exams for fucks sake.
Past me I am sorry for always throwing shade at you, I’m trying to remember that I don’t remember the past and I can’t possibly judge you for things if I don’t remember what you were going through. But I keep forgetting about my memory issues. I’m very sorry and please know I still love you and I know you’ve been doing your best since you turned 15. I’m sorry that I keep doubting you and hating you. I’ll try to remind myself that I have issues.
Future me here is a promise. I promise that I’ll try to be kind to myself, ALL versions of myself. I’ll try to be kind to myself when I feel lazy and hopeless, and I’ll try to be kind to myself when my thoughts are getting the better of me. I’ll try to be kind to myself as I work on myself and I’ll try to see the progress I’ve made in the past few years. I’ll try to be kind when im struggling and I’ll try to be kind when I’m doing better. I’ll try to remember to not throw shade at any past version of me, because I’ll try to remind myself that I don’t remember most things anymore. I know I keep feeling like I DO remember but I need to accept that I don’t, not just the times when I get proof that I don’t. I need to remember that I do not remember things and to not judge past me anymore. Im sorry past me. And I promise future me. See you both
#okay yeah it’s a vent sorta#vent#rant#tw vent#tw rant#it’s not that long tho#cw paranoia#cw England mention#cw mental health#cw memory issues#cw current events#meep meeeeeeeeeeeep#as a side note I know that a lot of the time I’m grateful for my memory issues because then I can also forget bad things#and stressful problems and whatnot. but there seem to be a lot of downsides too.#i forget important things. i still haven’t sorted out my voter id which I was supposed to do in the past couple of months#i forget to drink water? but I think everyone has that#idk I can’t remember what I forget right now#yeah one of the worst things about the memory issues is the paradox of not knowing what I forget because I’ve obviously forgotten it#and a lot of the time I get the feeling that I’m forgetting something but the problem with that now is#maybe I have that feeling almost constantly these days because I’ve started just ignoring it#before this recent downgrade of my memory those feelings that im forgetting something were my greatest superpower#I’d be like okay. my brain is telling me im forgetting something. and then I’d sit and think for a while until I remembered.#but now I just straight up ignore the feeling because I have it all the damn time.#which is not good? i think?#like yeah the issues keep me stressfree most of the time but it’s still so horribly inconvenient#what if im travelling on a plane and I forget where I put my passport and boarding pass#that would be disastrous#it’s scary sometimes#the knowledge that I have memory issues but no knowledge of what I can do about it to make sure I stay safe#it’s a weird and paradoxical existence with having memory issues if im honest
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collegeoflore · 4 months
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rotating post-game xarrai and astarion in my mind. if u even care
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yaminerua · 5 months
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my mum: stopped me at every opportunity I asked to come see my dying grandpa bc ‘you don’t want to see him like this’ even tho I already had seen him and he had been happy to see me after years estranged from that side of the family and I very much wanted to fit as much time with him in as possible before it was too late and in the end she blocked me from all of it
also my mum: you never came to see your grandpa, you don’t give a shit
and now my mum yet again: won’t let me come see my gran who has been losing weight and falling and breaking bones a lot and been in and out of hospital since being on her own. Didn’t let me go talk to gran when we were both at my great aunt’s funeral last year and so I never saw her and she only found out I was there through other people who saw me. Refuses every time I ask to see my gran, including now when I’ve got presents for her
also my fucking mum right now in the same breath as refusing to allow me to come over: you never come to see your gran, you don’t give a shit
make it make fucking sense jfc
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weedpicnic · 4 months
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god damnit life is so close to fully ruining against me! For me but they will not WIN but like how can I possibly have so many negative memories associated with one band and still listen to them on purpose.
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labyrynth · 5 months
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i don’t feel like bothering some random person abt a comment from several months ago so can someone tell me what i’m missing here
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unless everything is in relatable units, a cup is always different
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a cup is always a cup tho;;;?? like based on the context it’s very obviously Cup (culinary unit of measurement). the cup IS the unit. what am i not getting here.
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legisaskerator · 8 months
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what people who asked about board games dont realize is sick sexy sick sexy sexy sick sexy succubus snowy. you know who this is
HEY. HEY!!! Fuck!! I forgot about this! Oh my god!!!! hello. talk to me. is that game even still online now?
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pepprs · 2 years
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elton johns music is so fucking beautiful and heart wrenching and it makes me want to cry and i hate that i can’t like allow myself to emote to his music normally because if i cried over elton john then my mom would win. and so many things in my life are like if i x then my mom would win and i can’t do that. Lol
#purrs#w the elton john thing it’s bc she is an elton john megafan and cries over him every time she hears one of his songs or like sees a social m#media post from him lol so it’s like… if i cry over elton john too then she will have… idk. it’s not her succeeding in making me a clone of#her or whatever it’s like this weird thing where i can’t actually do what my mom wants me to do or like what my mom wants me to like even wh#when they align w things i genuinely want / like to do bc then… i’ll be more vulnerable to her? we’ll have a reason to bond? idk. i don’t t#think that’s it i don’t know why im struggling to put it into words but it squicks me out. so here i am standing in her room w my siblings b#Bc she called us all in to watch 2 marching bands perform a tribute to him in a giant stadium and she’s crying and i am genuinely moved by t#the performance and she wouldn’t even see if i cried but im standing there fighting back tears and hating myself and not understanding why#but i wish my mom was like. more normal about elton john. its not bad at all that she loves him so much it’s just… weird and suffocating fo#for me and it would be cool to find my own connection to his music without feeling u comfortable because i grew up having to call him#uncle elton and her dancing with us to his songs. lol. cringeeee childhood memories i guess idk#delete later#like literally goodbye yellow brick road is the single most devastating piece of music ever created.
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arthur-r · 9 months
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tonight is my last night sleeping in my bed. possibly for the rest of my life. and my last time in my room possibly for the rest of my life. and i want to just get a good night’s sleep to be ready for a long day tomorrow but it’s really not working out like that.
#my family is still up in the air maybe selling this house within the next month#in which case i will never be in this room ever again. otherwise i will be back for the holidays so there’s still a month of this bedroom#if we sell the house in the spring instead (only rational option there’s no way we can empty it in time)#especially since i will not be in this house whatsoever until after that sell date. my mom all by herself can’t empty it all#anyway i’m struggling a bit. saying goodbye to my home of 14 years????#i’ve been through a lot in this place and most of it is bad memories but like. every good memory i have is from here too….#and everyone i know irl is staying local i’m the only one who’s leaving. one irl friend is going to the same school as me but we had a fight#within the past month and i don’t think we’re ever going to recover because she just kind of never treated me like a person#so i’m starting from scratch and it’s really.. like fuck i want to get out of here but i’m also not at all ready to actually leave#i’m just going to miss all the stupid little things so much. even my online memories are tied to this place#like the woods down the street where my deer friends live and the ditch i fell into back in the day and all the places i’ve gotten lost#and they’ll be right here waiting for me and i’m SO excited for college i am but why does it have to feel so sudden????#i dont know how anyone does it.. and all my friends are going to colleges in their hometown so i don’t even have anyone to compare with#i found out today that if we keep the house through the winter my mom is planning on using my room as a guest room and office. and of course#that makes sense and everything but now i have the most crushing guilt for not cleaning it up well enough. i thought it would be okay and#i’d just have to deal with it when i come back and i didn’t know she wanted to use it and she’s going to box up all of my things without me#and i feel guilty that i didn’t do that and i feel scared and upset because it’s my things and my room i don’t want it to change#i’m just really anxious and sad and scared and i don’t know what to do. school is going to be good but none of this feels real or normal#and i just feel sick and scared and i don’t know what to do. waking up at 8am and leaving at 9am and moving in at 2pm and that will be it#my mom and sister are staying for a couple days and that will be good i hope. i dont know i feel so conflicted about everything#and i’m tired and sick and angry and overwhelmed and i just want to take a week off and come back alive again#and i guess that’s what i’m about to do.. after i move in there’s eight days before college starts and all i’ll be doing is moving in#(and welcome week activities. and a lot of sleeping. but hopefully i’m gonna get a rollator through a loan program and that will help a lot)#anyway here’s what’s going on. i’m going to maybe try to sleep i guess. but if anyone has advice or encouragement about moving to college..#now is the time i really need it. it’s just so strange and conflicted and everyone i know has been telling me i just need to get out of here#and myself included i really want to get out of here. but how can i start anew when everyone i’ve loved is shattered. and what have you#think i have to listen to that song for long enough to remember how badly i want to leave….#i’m just really not feeling well. i’m angry that i never got to have the childhood i deserved#because now i’m leaving and that means it’s officially over…. i’m just really not feeling well. i think i’m running out of tags….#i hope you all are well. i’ll be around in the morning maybe.. i’m not sure. hope everyone has a good night
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exopelagic · 6 months
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auuudggghghhrhrhrbrr
#okay I’m feeling Bad and I need to unpick why before I’ll be able to sleep#friend is asking abt lunch on Friday when I already have standing commitment w other friends then so I can’t do that.#but I also go home on Sunday and I can’t do shit until Friday bc work and I have plans on Saturday so I just. can’t see them#which. I guess makes things easier actually that’s not something I can control and I’m not changing existing plans that’s unfair#I’m also listening to a playlist of old music (Apple Music generated favourites — so literally random picked from everything I’ve ever done#and the last few songs have made me feel Bad bc of being associated with certain times but song playing rn is definitively a good song#w a good memory attached and it’s MY song not one of my old friends#okay where are we#I’m stressed abt presentation on Thursday but also a non issue. I’m prepared. I have all day tomorrow to practice and read up more#and then it’s 20 minutes on Thursday morning I’ll be done before 10am#I am. a little frustrated on a broader scale about the role I’m currently occupying#in that w a bunch of my friends I’m having to be the one with their shit together and dealing with their Stuff.#mostly in the way that I have to be putting in extra effort to tiptoe around them and steer stuff to keep them happy#i can do it i can do it easily I’ve just tasted not having to now so it’s. noticeably different having to do it more#i do Not have the words to talk abt this in the way I want to it’s so annoying#it’s like. I know how my friend responds to stuff. I know the things that make her anxious and what her instinctual responses will be#and I’m constantly having higher level thoughts planning out how things will go it’s effortless and constant it’s just There#with everyone all the time but sometimes I use it more and sometimes I have to because I’m in a position where if I don’t we’ll get nowhere#and I don’t like that I’m having to worry abt keeping other people happy while I’m talking to my friends it removes me a layer from stuff#hrm. there are broader questions here abt the utility of this bc like. sure it helps in some situations#but this probably isn’t great long term for either of us. wild. goddamn talking to my friend abt philosophy opened new parts of my brain#anyway I cba to have those thoughts rn! it’s midnight! I’m going to bed in half an hour <3#it’s honestly unfair that I have to do anything other than be gay and play pokemon#luke.txt#uaUrghrhfhjs I’m also being insane abt a guy. which is predictable and I feel stupid abt for multiple reasons but. here we are.#I’m being insane. and maybe I should be less mean to myself but I feel like I’m being insane.#I think! I need to go to bed!#I am not being insane I am having feelings and that is allowed. feelings are typically regarded as a pretty normal thing to have.#philosophy friend is gonna be so mad at me if anything comes of this but it’s fine and if it does I think I’ll be pretty happy anyway#point is I’m doing nothing wrong and have done nothing wrong and I’m allowed to feel whatever the hell I like. okay.
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cherrysnax · 1 year
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@ anon sorry I accidentally deleted ur ask!! to answer ur question though, I think it’s a bad idea because.. i fear rejection i guess and I suppose what I fear more is the opposite
#i have an issue where despite wanting to feel close to people I kinda hold everyone but like two people at arms length#I care a lot about people. even the people I don’t talk to anymore or like ppl I regard as like acquaintances#it’s easier to care from a distance. less of a sit back and watch thing more of a#aw I see a post on Instagram im so glad ur doing well I’m gonna mentally send good vibes and go about my day#it’s#it’s easier being a ghost I suppose#idk whenever I try a restart a friendship it never works#you can’t just rebuild connections#or at least I can’t#maybe im too different or maybe I’m too similar#also whenever I hype myself up to do something I’m afraid of doing it backfires spectacularly. so no actions means no expectations means no#consequences! and I know that makes me a bad person but consider that it’s for everyone’s best interests#this is probably just a weird phase of nostalgia anyway#and you should never reach out simply for nostalgias sake. you will have unrealistic expectations for urself and other ppl ^_^#im content w my mostly happy memories ^_^#should I tag this as#asks#nonnie#? in spirit I guess#I think I have like. one mutual from that time but I’ve changed my name like 60 times bro prolly don’t even recognize me which is for the#best#now… what am I gonna draw today#i guess im also afraid of what it means that I could’ve had more friends if I didn’t uhhh split or assume#that no one liked me in the first place#it already happened w a dear friend and I can never fix it so#why try
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candydos · 2 years
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Hey there, what does "a heavily serialised plot" mean? A little confused about what it is in general and how TOH is caught in the middle.
in the context of shows, it tends to describe a show where each episode directly follows up with the consequences from the previous episode and so-forth. picks up right where it left off, in a way.
so to understand the context of what’s happening in an episode, you have to have watched the previous episodes to really make sense of it. you could enjoy an episode like, say, Labyrinth Runners with a bit of TOH knowledge, but you might find yourself confused as to what Hunter’s whole deal/trauma is, for example!
(this is not gospel of course, and TOH definitely has episodes where you can learn as you go! but in general, it relies a lot on building from previous episodes to push forward, and it can be hard for someone who pops in on cable to follow along well imo)
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