#my neurodivergency strikes again

[finnzcorner]

Look a fully rendered drawing of my design of Jimmy in ASMP

I fucking adore this drawing with every fiber of my heart

[phobiagal]

it made sense in my head okay

[welcome-to-the-agender-agenda]

I don't think anyone talks about ADHD meltdowns enough.

I get them 9/10 times when I try to do homework.

It's not just crying because I do that every time I get frustrated with work and that's quite often.

It's not just accepting defeat and being angry with yourself because I do that a lot too.

It's breaking down sobbing, bending over and hugging yourself as snapping at anybody who tries to get you to continue working.

It's repeating I can't I can't over and over and feeling so ashamed whilst you're doing it.

It's feeling so angry with yourself because you know you can do the work you just can't do it like this and you're taking out your anger on other people.

It's other people trying to be helpful by saying that you can do it and there isn't much left so we have to crack on but that only makes you more frustrated.

Because they don't understand.

You want to.

But you just can't.

[nothingweirdhere]

ok so i tried to comment on a post on r/adhd talking about some bullshit a psychiatrist told me about how she wouldn’t diagnose me with autism bc i had a fairly large group of friends and autistic people can’t have that many friends (yeah, what the fuck), despite the fact that basically that entire group was neurodivergent (and queer) and at least one person in it would eventually BE OFFICIALLY DIAGNOSED WITH AUTISM.

then i get this message

imo this is wack. firstly, neurodivergent IS just a descriptor. full stop. and i don’t want to say “people with mental health disorders” or any bullshit like that. (especially since adhd & autism are neurodevelopmental disorders, not mental illnesses) it’s clunky and awkward and in my experience NOT HOW PEOPLE TALK. neurodivergent is an incredibly widespread term! there’s nothing wrong with it!

then i checked out the links, and here’s some of their “position on neurodiversity” post

this is all bullshit? like i also disagree with framing neurodiversity as purely neutral differences in cognition—yes certain things would be much less disabling if society was more accommodating, but even in a perfect world things like adhd and autism would still be distressing/disabling for a large number of people. they’re using the beliefs of specific groups that also happen to use terms like neurodivergent (because it’s a descriptor and a lot of people use it!!!) to label everyone who uses those words as part of a specific “neurodiversity movement” and i don’t like that??

anyway i’d like to hear some other people’s opinions on this

[brain-n-body-in-disarray]

I don't understand how people could think I was normal when I spent a year making research on the life and death of stars back when I joined the astronomy club, while the other kids were making rockets with plastic bottles and I was nonplussed by their activity. Really, that's beyond me.

[tryna-find-a-place-in-this-world]

Adhd Brain

I was writing a song and then, I was looking through all my old notes.

Then I went back to songwriting, wrote 1 line and then for some reason I was looking at the literary meaning of mirrors, and then I was reading up about a guy called Archimedes and now instead of writing a song I’m on tumblr telling everyone about how I’m not writing a song. :/

And this is how my brain functions on meds. 🫠

But seriously how did I get anything done before meds???? Anyways I really need to get back to writing my song.

[sir-klauz]

Someone trying desperately just to hang out: Want some company??

Me missing social cues: But I already own a company..

Them: …😶

[angelsonthesideline]

TV: “he wasn’t doing his laundry..”

My brain: “LAUNDRY!! We were doing laundry”

[usagi-yoichi]

@blonde-batgirl @lizzieonka @echarie @oo-mi-ru-oo @xphenom3non @kazirexx @https-true-egoist If you want to take part

[kittykatdanny]

I might as well make one of these now that twitter is dying.

hello! My name is Alicia, i’m 19, autistic and from from NZ.

It’s my first time properly using this site so uh, please be patient with me.

on this blog, I shall be posting about the following:

- BTS

- Dan and Phil

- Wearewatcher

- OMFD

- My cats

- WWDITS

- Unus Annus

- Basically whatever my autism desires to be brought into the world to feed my special interests

if you so choose to stick around, Welcome!

if you’d rather send me to the shadow realm, understandable, i can be quite annoying when i’m spamming posts but then again,,,what else do you do here.

(Certainly not for aesthetics around here)

[achilleswins]

I just can't be the only one who goes like,

Me: Welcome home, mum. How're you?

Mum: I'm good, how are you honey?

Me: I'm good. How are you? *completely forgets I already asked the thing*

right!???

[finnzcorner]

I know my account is about mcyts, but like I saw the fnaf movie, and it's going to become my personality for the next 3 weeks

[demideific]

Currently trying to figure out how to eat the way artists draw swords to make them look shiny.

I want to devour the shiny, it looks so crispity and crunchity.

[sparkles-and-trash]

The neurodivergent and BPD urge to pick a few favorite people and stick to them 99% of the time has it backsides lmao :(

Like, I have 3 best friends that are like, BEST friends, over a decade for each of them, know and trust them blindly etc etc, and I’m sooo grateful for them, but now 1 is taking her whole little family to northen Norway for a month, another one is in Australia for weeks, and the third one is working all trough July until we head for narcon in the very end of July, which means…

I have to,.. I need to… 🫠..ugh, I… 🫣…I’m going to have to see… other… other friends that aren’t the top 3 🥴🥴🥴

[theroseredreaper]

Why does the phrase “good for you?” always sound sarcastic??? I’m not trying to be mean or sarcastic, I genuinely mean it when I say “good for you,” seeing my friends excited and happy about something makes me happy for them too :(

[clove-pinks]

A series of 8 tweets on the experience of being autistic and ADHD (AuDHD) by @pot8um on twitter, image descriptions below cut.

I saved these shortly after being dx + medicated with ADHD last year. It was the first time I began to seriously consider the possibility that I was also autistic. 1/8

AuDHD is a constant tug-of-war— contradictions that exist simultaneously that I feel equally strongly about.

[image description: Two-column text inside orange arrows on left, and blue arrows on right. Title “What ADHD & autism feel like…” L column is ADHD; R column is autism. 1st row, L text: “Making spontaneous plans”, R text: “Getting very upset if those plans are interrupted” 2nd row, L text: “Struggling to organize”, R text: “Having a strong need for order”. By @autistic.qualia]

Each of these are so familiar to me, but I could never articulate my experiences with the right language. Also, if you don’t know what you’re experiencing is AuDHD, you don’t know what questions to ask. You didn’t know you were even supposed to *have* questions! 2/8

[image description: Two-column text inside orange arrows on left, and blue arrows on right. Title “What ADHD & autism feel like…” L column is ADHD; R column is autism. 1st row, L text: “Impulsively making purchases for a new hyperfixation”, R text: “Hyperfocus on researching the products” 2nd row, L text: “Struggling to be on time”, R text: “Upset when others are a few minutes late”. by @autistic.qualia]

I have phases of hyperfixation with certain things, and lifelong interest in others. Successfully executed plans / tasks is always my goal. (The perfectionism is too real.) I always get frustrated when I inevitably miss steps, regardless of my attention to detail. 3/8

[image description: Two-column text inside orange arrows on left, and blue arrows on right. Title “What ADHD & autism feel like…” L column is ADHD; R column is autism. 1st row, L text: “Hyperfixating on a wide variety of topics”, R text: “Also having long term special interests” 2nd row, L text: “Forgetting steps in plans”, R text: “Needing plans to execute perfectly”. by @autistic.qualia]

I *love* trying new foods… until it’s a bad experience, then I clam up and am reluctant to try again. When it comes to food, consistency is vital to me. My brain is far more active than I have spoons for. Most of my ideas strike when I’m freshly overloaded and spoonless. 4/8

[image description: Two-column text inside orange arrows on left, and blue arrows on right. Title “What ADHD & autism feel like…” L column is ADHD; R column is autism. 1st row, L text: “Enticed by novel foods”, R text: “Hypercritical of food taste and texture” 2nd row, L text: “Wanting new experiences”, R text: “Wanting to stick to what I know I like”. by @autistic.qualia]

I tend to hyperfixate on things that aren’t central to the task at hand. (I don’t want to say “on the ‘wrong’ thing” because I’m on my self-compassion shit ) Discovering my neurodivergence during the pandemic was surreal. Severe boredom, severe overload, severe whiplash. 5/8

[image description: Two-column text inside arrows. Title “What ADHD & autism feel like…” L column is ADHD; R column is autism. 1st row, orange arrow, L text: “Misses details and makes mistakes on boring topics”, blue arrow, R text: “Notices small details and points out others’ mistakes”. 2nd row, purple arrow, L text: “Becoming easily understimulated”; Yellow arrow, R text: “Becoming easily overstimulated”. by @autistic.qualia]

Overthinking the stages of your emotional dysregulation is its own personal hell. When I’m lowest on spoons, I tend to ruminate the most. My thirst for knowledge is met by my shoddy working memory. I try recalling a fact that *I know* I read up on. Can’t. Frustration ensues. 6/8

[image description: Two-column text inside arrows. Title “What ADHD & autism feel like…” L column is ADHD; R column is autism. 1st row, purple arrow, L text: “Struggling from emotional dysregulation”. Blue arrow, R text: “Being a logical and analytical thinker”. 2nd row, orange arrow, L text: “Struggling to retain information”; Yellow arrow, R text: “Wanting to learn everything”. by @autistic.qualia]

It’s hard for me to Start the Thing. Once I start, I NEED to ride that wave! If I’m taken out of the moment, idk when I’ll be able to start back up. If I don’t say what I’m thinking *while* I’m thinking it, it’ll be forever lost. (Trying my best to work on this. It’s hard!) 7/8

[image description: Two-column text inside purple and yellow arrows. Title “What ADHD & autism feel like…” L column is ADHD; R column is autism. 1st row, L text: “Having difficulty sitting still”, R text: “Hypersensitive to other people fidgeting”. 2nd row, L text: “Interrupting others when they are busy”; R text: “Hate being bothered while in hyperfocus”. by @autistic.qualia]

Please note: • These traits are infinitely more nuanced than a few tweets can possibly cover. • I do not speak for the entire autistic community. From @autisticqualia on IG, an outstanding AuDHD awareness account.

[image descriptions: a box of text at left reads “Having both ADHD & autism can sometimes feel like there are contradicting forces within you. Traits that seem incompatible on the surface can exist in the same person.” A box of text at right reads  “Everyone with ADHD & autism is different. These are the contradicting traits that I personally experience as someone with both ADHD and autism.”]

It's uncommon for me to see someone discussing the experience of being both austistic and ADHD, and this was articulated so well, I feel like it also describes my experiences. (The author is also an advocate for late diagnosis AuDHD adults, who has shared her experiences about working with dismissive, misogynist doctors.)

Bearing in mind that every individual is different, as noted by the tweet author, I feel like I am more autistic than I am ADHD, despite my ADHD diagnosis (and these two developmental disorders have many overlapping traits, of course).

I have never, ever understood the experience of "ADHD boredom" that I have seen some people describe. I am perpetually overstimulated, not understimulated, and I stuggle to process experiences and find enough time and space. Executive dysfunction also prevents me from starting/enjoying activities, as is typical with ADHD. It's not just a thing that makes it difficult to work on stressful or boring tasks; it prevents you being being able to commence fun things, like reading for enjoyment or watching a TV show you want to watch. And when I do manage to start the book/TV show, the stimulus is often overwhelming and I don't get very far.