welcome-to-the-agender-agenda - Tumblr blog

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Quick heads up that we also run @love-me-love-my-weirdness and we post more there because it's on our phone and more convenient. We use it more to post about NPD and chronic illness

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Check multiple times to see if I'm listening because 99% of the time I will say yes I am when I mean no because I was still not listening

(this rule applies for dissociating too)

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Me: Yeah, I'm queer but I'm so much more than that. I'm a person with my own thoughts, hopes and fears and I have goals I would like to achieve and a plan to solve world hunger and-

Me (the second I see a pretty girl): 'M gaaaaaay! Such a homosexual. Just gay thoughts everywhere. Unbelievable levels of gayness. I would die for that woman. Did I mention I'm a lesbian?

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The lgballt so cute we've decided to adopt it. It's name is Jeff.

Thank you to @totallynotaraccoonindiscuise for making it!!

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You guys just have to trust me on this one and click here okay?

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I think one of my main struggles with empathy is when people are really insecure and need a lot of reassurance because I get the feeling theoretically but I don't get the way they react at all.

What do you mean I didn't respond to a text and you've been begging me to forgive you and sending apology messages for the past hour?

My response to someone not messaging me back for a while would be to go "well then they obviously suck and I don't need them no way am I apoligising for anything they don't deserve me".

So when someone sends me a bunch of "are you mad? I'm so sorry" messages it pisses me off because I just cannot understand their reaction.

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NPD (+ ASPD traits) culture is genuinely not understanding the concept of unconditional love. Isn’t all love conditional in some way?

“Would you still love me if I was a worm?” Why the fuck would I care about some random worm?

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Narc supply: Specific compliments that go beyond surface level eg instead of "I like your shirt" I'd rather "your fashion sense is always amazing". Compliments on work, on my personality. Things that make me feel worthy basically. Also people relying on me (although I often get overwhelmed by it) makes me feel important. Knowing more than someone, being trusted with secrets or low level manipulating someone and it working.

Basically lots of praise, lots of attention and being reminded that I'm worthy, important and wanted a lot.

A narc high is when I get enough of those things paired with enough of an emotional high that I feel like a bird preening its feathers.

fellow narcs i have a question

what is your narc supply? what things give you a narc high?

it would be great if i could compile a list to better help people understand what a narc supply is and what a narc high is like.

i know people tend to misinterpret it as an emotional high, sometimes i myself even tend to misread my emotional highs as narc highs sometimes because of overlapping factors.

i mostly see compliments given as a narc supply, but generic compliments like "youre so cool", "i like your hair", "you did a good job" and so on dont exactly do it for me because my bpd automatically reads them as disingenuous at times. instead things like "youre so good at x i need advice from you", "i know you like x so i wanted to ask you", "you know/did xyz and thats so cool of you!" and so on seem to be more of a "narc supply" for me.

i'd love to hear from others what its like from them so i could make a list/post to help people supporting narcs understand what we need. /np /g

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fuck it. I'm a good person BECAUSE I'm a narcissist. I'm fiercely loyal to my best friends because I value them as much as I do myself, I'd protect them to the ends of the earth because they are some of the best people in the world. I'll tell people to fuck off when they insult my little sister because I'm a narcissist and that's *my* blood you're picking a bone with. I do kind things because I know they're kind and it will make me feel better about everything. Maybe my reasoning isnt what youd like it to be. But goddamn I am going to be good because I have NPD

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reblog to tell your local narcissist that they’re the best ever

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Ah yes the age old question:

Am I polyamorous or aroace?

(aka all or nothing)

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So I've had FND for four years and the reasons for denial are bullshit. When I was first in hospital I had a similar experience where a doctor told me using a wheelchair would be bad because my body 'would get to used to it' so they took away my wheelchair and my parents had to literally carry me everywhere.

Get a mobility aid. Any form of it. If you can get past being denied where you're currently looking then that's amazing. If not then there are many services and annoyingly it's just a really long battle. If you lead of with pushing the area of 'this is a problem with my brain and my nervous system that leaves me incapable of walking' then that might help more. Don't be afraid to keep reminding them of what they want to hear because there's no other way to get what you need.

Walking canes are pretty cheap and you can get them anywhere and if any relatives have any mobility aids maybe ask if you can borrow their spares if they have them.

Mobility aids have made my life so much easier and I hope they can make your life easier too. They don't make FND worse. They make it more manageable.

I hope you're having a less rough time of it soon

#wheelchairusers I want some advice on my situation because I feel like I need a mobility aid but I keep getting denied it because “it will make your FND worse” or “it’s for people who can’t actually walk” I feel like I would use it part time but that option is basically nonexistent. I think I might want to get one once I move out but I hate having to struggle to walk when I feel extremely dizzy, nauseous, fatigued and when there’s tremors in my legs. I feel so tired of pushing for one because I’ve been given the same answer and I’m just tired atp. Feel free to give me advice or really anything. 👍🏽

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Some apologies are "sorry I did this" and others are "sorry you're blowing up so much that I have to apologise and inconvenience myself" and really society should have different words for both

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It's not that I think I'm better than everyone it's just that everyone's worse than me. I'm a shitbag of a human being and I just ended up being the best by default

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Not now kitten daddy's superiority and inferiority complexes are fighting again

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Yes all my mentally ill thoughts and feelings completely contradict each other and yes I still believe in all of them wholeheartedly and simultaneously.

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for the anon who said plural culture is feeling fake because you don't hear voices

we have that as well

we more feel that as our host described that we are sitting in a chair and there is something happening behind us but we dont know what it is and we sort of experience white noise that sort of feels like a distant crowd talking but we cant pick up on what anyones saying ourselves

this is more obvious when someones front locked because there is a lack of both of those things entirely

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