#nanny danny fenton

[salmonight]

DannyMay 2023, Day 15: Full Hazmat AU

Tittle: The Cleaner: First File

Summary: One day green glowing monsters started appearing and attacking cities all over the globe, and with them, arrived 'The Cleaner'. The Justice League has not uncovered any real information about them to this day. Meanwhile, Danny in a full hazmat suit: 'People can't even let me take a friggin nap!!'

One day,  green glowing monsters and people started to appear all along the globe. No one knew where they came from, only that they enjoyed wreaking havoc wherever they showed up. 

With the entities came 'The Cleaner' as they were titled. They always appeared no more than 10 minutes after a villain - from the ‘Green Dimension’, as they named it - showed up, and contained them in ten seconds flat,  immensely helping in keeping the damage to the minimum. 

The only saving grace was that these aliens never got anyone killed. Everyone in the Justice League found this observation extremely bizarre. But even with no casualties,  the repair costs were enormous. 

No matter how much the JL looked, there were never sightings of the figure other than during the fights, when they seemed to appear out of thin air. Internet searches came up blank as well, only filled with excited rants and candid photos taken by civilians. With these, they concluded that “The Cleaner” was either a) a brand new hero previously unknown, or b) from the same dimension the glowing entities came from. The whole League was miffed, with the Bats even more so, collectively losing their shit over having no contingency plans against the unknown figure.

Fully covered in a red and black hazmat suit nobody had a clue about their identity,  even their gender was shrouded in mystery. Somehow their outfit, even without being overly baggy managed to hide any distinguishing bodily characteristics that otherwise would have been visible. 

Until…. one day,  one of the speedsters overheard the ‘Cleaner’s’ rant. 

It went as any of their usual fights with the green monsters did. Not even a few minutes after the beast started to destroy the buildings, their mysterious hero materialized into existence in front of it. Instead of immediately throwing a punch like they expected, ‘The Cleaner’ instead stared at them with the most deadpan expression they could convey with a helmet on. For some reason, the speedster got a huge 'I’m-so-done-with-this-shit' vibe. Or that was just his overactive imagination. It was hard to tell with the headgear on. He must have gotten it right though, because then they tiredly put a palm to their face with one hand, and, without looking, flicked open the lid of a tube and sucked the entity into it with the other.

Surprisingly, The Cleaner didn’t immediately disappear once the monster was gone, so he took a few steps closer as they hung the green, metal tube ( which he could now tell was actually a soup thermos? What? ) back on his belt and pulled out an honest-to-god cellphone.

He didn't even have to strain his ears to listen in on the ensuing phone call since they were talking pretty loudly. And boy, did they sure sound pissed. 

“I swear to the Ancients, Tuck,” the ‘Cleaner’ complained, motioning with their hands aggressively to emphasize their point “If I have to come to fetch another one of these god damned brats I'm gonna treat them the same way they act and build them a time out corner in either the warden’s prison or the palace. I'm pretty sure both Walker and Frightknight would love to teach them a lesson about tact!"

There was a pause as he listened to whoever they were talking to on the other end of the line. “No, I don't care that they’re centuries older than me. If they act like spoiled children they get treated as such!” 

They let out an annoyed harrumph “I was taking a nap, Tuck. A NAP!!! You know I don't take naps! Not to mention I’m retired! What the hell am I? Their nanny? I don’t even get paid to clean up the messes they make! Can't they just keep their ecto ass sitting still in the realm for at least a few centuries to let me take my well deserved break!? But nooooo, these asshats have to make even more paperwork for me to do!" 

“When I told them not to break into Amity anymore I did not mean for them to go to another dimension and terrorize a whole-ass-planet!!!” The ‘Cleaner’ threw up their spare hand in exasperation.

 Their grumbling still could be heard as, with a wave of their hands, a portal opened, made out of a green swirling mass. Ignoring everyone else’s presence they stepped into the portal as it was the most common thing in the world. 

The speedster could only watch and gape at the now empty air. They certainly did not know they could do that. 

Now that he remembers though, they did sound like a male didn't they? He couldn’t estimate their age from the voice as it was very muffled coming through the headgear, but it was definitely not feminine.

And that's how the Justice League got their first ever info about the mysterious ‘Cleaner’.

Finally,  the first real data was entered into the vigilante’s (?) file: 

Name: UNKNOWN 

Alias: “The Cleaner” 

Age: UNKNOWN 

Gender: Male 

Origin: UNKNOWN 

Race: UNKNOWN 

Appearance: UNKNOWN

Power(s): Flight (or hovering,  unconfirmed which), Super strength(?), Teleportation(?), Portal creation (confirmed)

Weakness(es): UNKNOWN 

Costume: A full  black and red hazmat suit. The headgear has a black, unreflective screen that has green orbs (eyes?) shining behind it. Matte black gloves, combat boots and belt. There are compartments added to the belt. Content: UNKNOWN 

Weapon(s): a metal thermos(?) with green accents

Personality: UNKNOWN 

Affiliates: Tuck (?) (no file available)

Takedown plan(s): Impossible to make without further data 

Note:  The entity always deals with the threats quickly and effectively. Their moves speak of prior experience. 

 Ao3

The one that helped betaing this work once again is the lovely Amateum!

My hands were itching to draw something so in a 'why the fuck not' mode i drew Danny's file.

Except as sequel of this with arts and all fellas cuz am already preparing it!

The sketch:

[tofuingho]

DP x DC/ Drop Dead Fred AU

Trigger warning for child neglect/emotional abuse

Tim Drake had a lonely, cold childhood.

When his parents were home, they hardly seemed to notice him. When they were home.

More often then not they were off on digs leaving him at boarding school.Even at the school, he was mostly ignored by adults and children alike.

Was it any wonder he had an imaginary friend?

When Phantom started showing up, everyone noticed. It was difficult not to when a quiet child like Tim started constantly talking to thin air and pulling pranks on everyone. Pranks that no one can ever catch him setting up, but he’s always there when they go off.

But he always said that it wasn’t him. It was Phantom.

Eventually, the school had enough and expelled Tim. His parents are LIVID. No only do they have to come home early from the dig, but now, they have nowhere to send him the next time they leave.

In the end, they hire a nanny to watch over Tim in the Manor. But, the pranks continue and escalate. Everything from the classic frog-in-the-bed to the disgusting filling-the-shoes-with-dog-poo to the just plain weird and unexpected covered-the-floor-in-mayo-so-the-person-slides-across-the-floor-into-a-tub-full-of-old-pumpkin-guts.

They go through nanny after nanny before their newest employee figures out how to seal Phantom away.

Tim returns to the quiet, forgotten child that he was before. His parents find him a new boarding school and everything goes back to the way it was before.

Tim grows up. He finds out the identity of Batman. He trains to be Robin. His mother dies. His dad is paralyzed. He becomes Robin. His father died.

After his father’s funeral, Tim goes back to  Drake Manor. Eventually, he finds himself in his childhood bedroom. Among the knickknacks and toys he finds a small music box all covered in tape. He cuts through the tape, but, before he can open it, out pops a black and white blob.

The blob bounces around the room and grows larger and larger. When it finally comes to a stop, floating in front of him is a girl.

She opens her mouth and says “EWWW! What happened to you, fart breath?”

[alienzil]

Nanny Danny

“That is a whole ass baby,” was the only thought running through Lex Luthor’s head when the scientist proudly showed him the tube containing Project KR. It was not remotely the sort of thing he would normally think and most definitely not what he had expected to be thinking the first time he saw the clone.

He’d been pleased when he’d read the reports indicating the success of KR after years of failures. Lex had poured millions of dollars and literally his own blood into ensuring a clone of the alien could be made, one that would be under his total control instead of the unknown aspirations of Superman.  He’d wanted to see the fruits of his labors personally but this…

It. No, not an it. He scrunched his tiny face and smacked his lips and…did he smirk? Was that HIS SMIRK on that baby’s face?! No. No. Babies this small didn’t smile or smirk. They passed gas and their sleep deprived and addled parents mistook it for an intelligent response. He’d heard enough inane conversations in the Lexcorp office about the various progeny of his employees to pick up on that but still. This child had Kryptonian DNA, not to mention his own contribution. Surely, he was far more advanced than the dribbling potato shaped lump of an infant whose pictures he’d been forced to smile and nod over when Mark from accounting had rudely shoved them in his face at the last quarterly budget meeting. Yes, that was definitely a smirk. His, that was his smirk.

“So as you can see its growth is well within expected parameters and we’re planning to start phase one of accelerating the maturation process tomorrow once the testing is do-”

“Take him out.”

“Sir? The testing can all be accomplished while it remains in the tube. There’s no need to-”

“I said, take him out. The project is cancelled.”

“What?! Mr. Luthor you can’t!”

“I think you’ll find I can. Now get me my son.”

*****

Two years later

“Call them again”

“Sir, I’ve called them seven times. They won’t answer.”

“Then call another agency!”

“There isn’t another agency, Sir”

Lex glared at his assistant who stared back at him impassively. Mercy stood by the door staring off into the distance and pretending she didn’t notice him being bested by his own secretary.

He stopped himself from shouting again and took a deep breath before asking, “Then what, exactly, do you propose I do Mrs. Anderson? Adjust my entire schedule around naptimes? Find a toddler size lab coat and safety goggles and bring my son with me to tour the new clean energy project on Thursday? Perhaps buy a tiny business suit while I’m at it for the next board meeting?”

“I’m not suggesting anything of the sort, Mr. Luthor. I’m telling you that no childcare agency in Metropolis will return my calls anymore. Most won’t even answer.  You’ve gone through 27 nannies in the last 3 months. You need someone better suited to your son’s…special needs.”

Lex snorted. “Special needs might be a bit of understatement. He can lift a car over his head and his favorite word right now is No.”

He sighed and rubbed his forehead. “Thank you for…clarifying the situation, Marjorie. If there’s nothing else, you can leave.”

His secretary didn’t move. She looked at him like she was waiting for something and now that he was paying attention, he saw she was holding a file.  “Did you have a suggestion?”

Looking pleased with herself she responded, “Actually, yes, I did.”

“Well?”

She set the file on his desk and flipped it open. He looked down at the first page and raised an eyebrow, “What am I looking at here?”

“This,” she responded pulling out the top set of papers and spreading them out, “is the employee file and background check for Daniel J. Fenton, an intern that started in our engineering department about 4 months ago. He has one sibling, two parents and several close friends he regularly meets with. His current supervisor has nothing but good things to say about him and reports he gets along well with all his coworkers.”

She set out the next set of papers, neatly arranging them on the desk to be easily seen. “These are newspaper articles and screenshots of social media posts regarding a small town vigilante locally known as Phantom. The same small town, Mr. Fenton is from coincidentally. Also coincidentally, Phantom made his first appearance only a few weeks after Mr. Fenton was involved in a minor accident in his parent’s home laboratory when he was 14, the medical records for the incident are included.”

“Hmm,” Lex said observing several photos of Phantom and a younger Fenton arranged in order of similar poses and facial expressions and printed out side by side.

“Finally,” she said handing him the last set of papers directly, “this would be a report from the lab Mr. Fenton works in from an incident that happened yesterday. A test with a new protype went wrong and started a fire. Everyone evacuated per protocol when the alarms went off but one of the other interns was working on a programming issue off to the side of the lab while wearing headphones and didn’t hear the alarm or notice the fire. Mr. Fenton noticed his absence and returned to the lab to get him out.” She stopped talking and let him look at the last several pages in the file, a series of photographs of the lab.

“Is this ice?”

“Yes, it is. It’s several inches thick and covers half of the lab. It completely put out the fire leaving minimal damage.”

“This machine was moved?”

“It was. It was very close to the flames and would have required replacement if exposed to extreme heat or cold. That particular piece of equipment also weighs several thousand pounds and was bolted to the floor.”

Lex read through everything in detail then clasped his hands under his chin and stared at the photo of Daniel Fenton for several moments before turning back to his waiting secretary.

“Have HR send Mr. Fenton up. I’d like to offer him a promotion.”

[long-live-astronerd-ghost-king]

DPXDC prompt. Nanny Wilson

Little Danny is almost lost in the mall when his parents suddenly run too fast in an attempt to catch up a ghost that their equipment has detected. Young Fenton is not a crybaby at all, but being alone without daddy and mommy is a little scary, so he begins to whimper and run around, trying to find familiar features in the blurry figures around him. Finally, he bumps into the thigh with a gun. It doesn't look much like an ectoblast, but dad is always inventing something new, so Danny quickly hugs this leg as hard as he can and begs loudly.

Danny: Daddy! Don't leave me! Slade: What the hell… Boy, I'm not your dad.

Danny blinks a few times and realizes that this man really doesn't look like Jack.

Danny: Oh. I'm sowwy. Can you help me find my daddy?

Slade: What makes you think I'm going to do this?

Danny: You have a gun and dad has a gun, so you're good. Are you here to hunt too? Slade: Something like that...What's your father's name, kid?

Jack: Danny! There you are!

A huge figure in a hazmat suit rushes towards them and Danny notices that his new friend is hastily hiding the weapon. To cheer up the man who is obviously meeting Jack Fenton for the first time, Danny smiles broadly. Dad may look scary, but he doesn't steal other people's toys.

Jack: Oh, thanks for looking after him. Our goal turned out to be too fast and we didn't even notice when our boy started to fall behind. Slade: No problem, colleague. Maddie: ? Danny: Kind uncle is also a hunter. Maddie: Oh, that's great! Em, sorry, but is there any chance that you have a time to look after our boy for a few days? We'll pay you well. You see, he rarely trusts people so quickly, and we absolutely do not have time to look for a replacement for our old nanny, and we really need to complete the last project as soon as possible.

Looking at the giggling boy trying to see if there are any other interesting things on him, Wilson decides that this will not be a bad experience in case he decides to establish a relationship with his found daughter.

Slade: All right, I'll take your order.

~~~About ten years later~~~

Danny, who is much more familiar with death than in canon, after being freshly ghosted: Damn, nanny will be so mad at me.

~~~~~ Danny: Hey, Slade. Do you want me to show you something cool? Slade: Not now, kid, nanny is cleaning up. Danny: Yeah, about that. *makes a corpse go through the ground* Ta-da! Can we talk now? Slade at the first second: *Surprised Pikachu face*. Slade when he notices a strange glow around Danny, like from ectoplasm in the lab of the boy's parents: >:( … >:( … >:( Danny: S-stop it!

~~~~~ Slade: And take out the bloodstains from those shirts too, they're my favorites. Danny: Oh dude, have you heard that child labor is illegal? Slade: Whoever doesn't help uncle Slade doesn't get a new knife for Christmas. Danny: Pfff…Now I'm my own weapon, come up with something new or I'll find myself a cooler mentor. Slade: Jackanapes!

~~~~~

When Wilson stumbles upon a distraught runaway Robin, he sincerely tries to take care of him as well as he took care of Danny. Deathstroke is an experienced babysitter, so there shouldn't be any problems with vigilante child being around on his missions. All children love knives, workouts and guns, right? Plus, staying alone when they are upset, as Jazz says, is unhealthy.

~~~~A few days later~~~~

Dick's thoughts: He wants to make me his evil sidekick, oh no! Wilson's thoughts: What's wrong with this kid? Batman so fucked up? Wayne needs to be stripped of his parental rights. I'm calling Jazz.

~~~~~

Wilson, who does not understand that he has been hanging out with Fentons too long, looks with perplexity at Grayson, who's running away from flying pieces of Maddie's pizza, then shoots some pepperoni and sits down at the table. It's going to be a long way. Poor boy.

~~~~~

Meanwhile, Fenton family is visiting Masters for the first time. Vlad tries to flirt with Maddie and then pretends to be good-natured while getting to know Danny.

Danny: I know 54 ways to kill you with this fork. If I were you I think I'd watch my mouth. Jack: He's joking, V-man. Danny: I'm not. Jack: He's just like his babysitter. They have such an unusual sense of humor. I think our boy really likes you! Usually Danny is too shy to talk like this with strangers. Vlad: Babysitter? Maddie: Yes, Mr. Wilson helped us out a lot and often did not even take payment. He's an angel. Vlad: I think I've heard that name somewhere before... Jack: Ugh, I want to introduce you anyway! Danny: Me too. Jack: Great. What about Wednesday? Danny: Dad, uncle might be busy. Let me ask him when he has time to, um, pay your old friend a visit.

[hyperfixationherewecome]

This post (link) has bewitched me!

I can't get the idea out of my head!

A timeline of fuckery

Pre twins birth the Drakes come up with the idea to be the Fentons in college, Janet had a fake name because she didn't want her family to know she was studying ecto science instead of the medicine they wanted her to, and Jack didn't bother changing his first name because Jack is a very common first name, he used a last name from a few generations back as his fake name in college, met up with Maddie, figured each other out, decided to commit to the bit harder with each other, they met a third guy, Jack's roommate, who was genuine about his name and interest, they became best friends, and then the accident happened to Vlad.

They have two weddings, one in Wisconsin as their fake names, and one in Gotham as their real names.

They move away to a new home that's a thin spot in the veil for them to experiment on to their hearts content, and Jazz is born in Amity and hidden from the paparazzi of Gotham.

They have the twins and begin their twisted nature vs nurture experiment.

Tim is left behind in Gotham and the housekeepers and nannies are paid extra to avoid giving him unnecessary touch, he's the nature variable.

Danny is raised in Amity and smothered with love and affection and constant surveillance, he's the nurture variable.

Some things they'll always have in common are:

Being vigilantes when given the chance and enough negative supervision.

Bo staffs.

Throwing hands with the undead.

Always winning from a combo of luck and preparedness.

Mad science.

Cloning.

Ghost friends.

Skateboard.

Love of fast vehicles.

Tinkering with gadgets and improving them.

Timestream shenanigans.

Fruitloop villain obsessed with them.

Everyone they love dies eventually while they stay the same forever, unaging and lonely.

Jazz figures it out young because she has her parents' smarts and Tim has to learn the stalking from somewhere.

She arranges a meet and greet for her little brothers using their parents' neglect to her advantage.

They decide to fuck with their parents' experiment, as all gremlin children do.

Bruce is in for an adventure when the time comes.

[mortiferumsomnum]

The Missing Danielle Drake

[Masterlist]

Tim found out that he had a sibling when his dad, Jack, finally woke up from his coma in the hospital.

He was calling for... for mom. For Janet. 

Tim had to tearfully tell his dad that mom wasn’t here anymore. That mom died in the airplane.

Jack sobbed loudly, bringing Tim down to him to hug him.

The next time Jack was awake, that was the time he finally told the story of Danny, or well, Danielle Jane Drake. And she was 3 years older than him.

She was two when she went missing. His parents was visiting some science fair in Illinois that was showcasing dinosaur bones. Granted, there were other scientific branches that wasn’t paleontology, but they had been excited to check it out.

Jack couldn’t remember what kind of dinosaur it was, he could only remember the panic he and Janet felt when they tried to look all over the fair for their daughter. Two weeks they’ve been searching, and nothing. 

.

(Danny saw a stall showcasing astronomy and got separated from Jack and Janet. *sobs* She ended up walking around until some girl invited her to sit with her in some weird van because Danny wouldn’t stop crying.

The Fentons came to a wrong conclusion that Danny was left behind at the fair, but then they’ve seen how happy Danny was with Jazz, and how Jazz just seemed to love and care for the younger child, and decided to adopt Danny.)

.

They didn’t want to have another child after that.

But Tim came as a surprise. And, from their first scare, they couldn’t bring themselves to care for him like they should. They thought if they took care of Tim, he’d disappear forever. So, he was left with caretakers and nannies for most of the years, while they concentrated mostly on their work.

Jack apologized to Tim, apologized for how he and Janet treated him. And now that Jack lost another person, he couldn’t bare to lose Tim.

Tim decided then and there that he will take care of his dad.

.

He is reminded of his sibling months later, death after death until Tim was laid close to a Lazarus Pit while Ghost performed a splenectomy. 

Ghost observed that the Pits seemed to call towards Tim.

Meanwhile, while Tim was unconscious, his soul didn’t seem to be. Within his dreams, he saw... he saw his mom, and his dad... and.... a man who was right beside them, smiling contentedly as he conversed with his parents.

He looked like some kind of monarch who ruled over the galaxies. 

Then, the man turned towards Tim. And he smiled.

“Little brother,” he heard the man whisper, which echoed throughout Tim’s dream.

The last thing he sees were Lazarus green eyes...

He didn’t think such eyes could be so kind.

And then, he woke up.

[seas-storyarchive]

Crazy au

Back when Danny and Jazz were little, Alicia's farm burns down, a forest fire that spread to her farm during the night - she got out okay. Her pride wasn't really as alright.

She moves in with Jack and Maddie, basically becoming nanny to Jazz and Danny. Look, it took her a bit to adjust. Taking care of kids, and her sister and her brother-in-law (Jack). Like, she just doesn't leave but the family is fine with it because it's family.

Breakfast, lunch and family dinners are mandatory. Alicia has shut off the power grid more than once, it's going into the high double digits, sometimes multiple times in the same day. Who let her be in charge of the house? She just took over so the kids had stability with their parents working and so Jack and Maddie didn't have to worry about their kids running wild.

Alicia put up a sturdy fence around the small yard of Fenton Works and turned some of it into a patch of garden to have tomatoes, potatoes and other plants (some on hooks, some in a greenhouse that no one put up a fuss about her having). Danny in particular, back then and to present day, helps his aunt in the garden. Jazz was more of the "wash the veggies" type of kid so that was fine

Gives the kids extra money with a wink ("hey, $20 extra for you to go pick me up some small," Jack/Maddie leaves the room "cheap chocolate, you keep the change.")

the years pass, and Jazz and Danny listen to Alicia moreso than their parents because it's always been that way - they still love and listen to their parents, don't worry, it's mainly when the parents are working

Jazz knows her home situation isn't normal, but loves and appreciates her aunt for the stability she's attempted to give her

Danny loves his aunt, she's the best! She's helped him fix his room over the years to match his interests and recently she gave him space wall-clings for his room (guys, is it manly to hang space themed wall clings on your walls? no? oh well, onto the wall it goes)

Alicia singlehandedly prevents the whole Phantom situation - Danny is given the options: be grounded for (attempting, at the time) taking people down there without hazmat suits and breaching the containment zone for doing that, or take his friends to the movies with some extra cash and curfew being extended 15 minutes (for Jazz too)

they guys all just hang out at the mall instead

Alicia likes Tucker the most out of Danny's friends. She has had many a problem with Sam - from her snide comments about her wearing overalls all the time, to her pitching a fit the first times she ate dinner there because she didn't know Sam was an ultra-recyclo-vegetarian but doesn't ban Danny from hanging out with her because aside from the comments made by a 14 year old being annoying, she's harmless and she'll grow out of it, right? Tucker's parents are at first confused when they meet Alicia ("wasn't she the aunt?" "I'm sure it's nothing too strange.") but they adjust to her and they like her company. Sam's parents HATE her (mutual, honestly)

and then Alicia met Vlad. It's a strange meeting between the two, with them being awkward around each other

but the meetings kept happening, and the Fentons began to see Vlad take an interest in Alicia - maybe he'd truly given up on chasing Maddie?? - and then it started to be reciprocated by Alicia after a bit

So yeah, Alicia/Vlad becomes a long-distance thing for a while with them going to visit each other (Alicia coming back with gifts for the family - Vlad bringing some too when he visits)

[captainkirkk]

✩ WEEKLY FIC ROUND-UP ✩

All the fics I’ve read and really enjoyed in the past week-ish. Reminder: This list features any and all ratings and themes.

BNHA

Razzmatazz by xylophones

Izuku has plans for everything.

He plans out what to say to the cashier when ordering coffee, he plans out his homework before even opening his textbook. He has a whole ten-year plan for how he’s going to get into UA’s hero course and get his hero license fully quirkless. He plans for every wild, unlikely scenario he can think of because his anxiety gets so bad if he doesn’t go through every possible outcome, every way his life could landslide into disaster–– but Izuku never planned for this.

For once, he doesn’t have a plan and he doesn’t have time to think of one. All he can see is Yagi-san’s lined, kind face looking resigned as he stares down the villain in his shop. Yagi-san, who is the closest thing to a father figure Izuku has ever had.

Izuku doesn’t think. He just moves.

(Or: Izuku saves the number one hero, gets a hero license way earlier than anyone wanted, realizes that maybe hero society isn’t as great as he thought it was, and everything just kind of falls apart from there.)

DC/Danny Phantom

Speed Dial by apotheosis_avaritia

"Please don't tell me you have the fucking King of Ghosts on speed dial."

close enough to be whole again by hailsatanacab

“If you ever find yourself in danger, go to Bruce Wayne. He will help you.” His mother had loved him, in her own way. If she hadn’t, she wouldn’t have helped him escape. If she hadn’t, she would have dragged him back to the League of Assassins, to Grandfather. If she hadn’t, he’d be dead. She loved him, but she loved the League more. Jack and Maddie Fenton loved him too, they did, but they loved their work more. They loved their work more. -- After his parents react poorly to his reveal, Danny escapes to the only person he thinks can help him - Bruce Wayne. He doesn't know what to expect when he gets there, but it has to be better than where he is, surely? He certainly doesn't expect to be reunited with his long lost twin brother Damian. It's funny how things work out that way. Danny is 16 years old, not Phantom Planet compliant

DC (Batfamily)

Warm My Heart in the Sun by SilverSkiesAtMidnight

The valet opens the door as he places a ticket under the windshield, a hot breeze lazily snaking its way into the backseat. Then, he climbs out and shuts the door behind him, and the air falls as still as a crumpled quilt. He doesn’t so much as glance at the backseat window as he walks away, leaving Tim alone to wait. And that’s… that’s probably fine! His parents did say that going to a gala with them was something for big kids to do, and he already knows big kids are supposed to be able to be able to be apart from their parents without throwing a fit, so maybe this is why. Maybe waiting like this is part of every grown-up event, and that’s why he needed to be a big boy before he could come with them. So yes. He can be a big boy. He can wait, alone. It’s even kind of exciting! He’s not sure he’s ever been completely alone, without even a nanny nearby. He just… well, he wishes they could have left the AC on while he waits.

- Day 15 - FEED A COLD, STARVE A FEVER delirium | fever dreams | bees

wrong number by adelfie

There’s a few rings, then the phone picks up. “Wayne Residence.” That’s funny, Tim thinks, Mrs. Mac doesn’t sound like herself. -- On a hot July evening while home alone, eight-year-old Tim gets a fever. He means to ask Mrs. Mac for help — but ends up accidentally calling Alfred Pennyworth. Somehow, even in sickness, he wins all the hearts of the Wayne family in one fell swoop. Stranger things

Harrington’s Upside Down Training by PrettyRacing

Welcome to Harrington's Upside Down Training!

Look, Eddie has had a crush on Steve Harrington for, like, four years.  Steve Harrington is the only reason Eddie passed gym last year, because the grade was for participation and Eddie showed up every day that semester to watch Steve Harrington get all sweaty and all that glorious hair flop around.  Eddie is but a man.  Who is he to pass up another chance to watch Steve get all sweaty, perhaps shirtless this time?  And maybe proving to his freshman pupils that Steve Harrington is truly an asshole would be the cherry on top. 

Eddie is just here to ogle Steve Harrington and hopefully expose him as an asshole to his impressionable Hellfire freshmen. Things do not go according to plan.

Holding out for a Hero by ReginaNocis

“He was acting like an entitled jerk,” Will said quietly, looking at the ground. “Like he didn’t do anything wrong. Like there’s no reason you wouldn’t want to talk to him.” “Who was?” Steve pressed gently, frowning. He couldn’t really think of anyone he wouldn’t speak to. Not anyone who might be calling here. Will’s answer was too quiet to be heard. “... Who?” “Your father,” he repeated a little louder, starting to look miserable. “I’m sorry, I know I shouldn’t have hung up the phone like that, but… he really hurt you, Steve! He shouldn’t get whatever he wants just because he thinks he’s some big important person. You’re important, not him. I know I should have given you the phone, but I don’t want him to be able to hurt you anymore!” “Oh…” ~ AKA: 5 times the party defended Steve from his parents, and 1 time Steve defended himself.

Star Wars three rules (back straight, head forward) by queen_rowenas

Senator Almen continues on as though nothing is wrong. “Mand’alor, may I introduce you to Senator Organa’s brother, Jedi Master Luke Skywalker.” Leia can feel all of her hard work crumbling, whatever trust she had formed with the Mandalorians shattering before her as the Mand’alor slowly stands to his feet. Great, she thinks numbly, Another galactic war on my hands. (Leia Organa has never been one to back down from a challenge. Although advising the new Mand’alor in his introduction to the Senate and also trying to keep her Jedi brother from causing an intergalactic incident could prove to be a bigger challenge than expected.)

Clone Wars

in those quiet ways by lux_arcana

Day 1: adverse effects / wiping the others tears away

Obi-Wan, after a long moment, finally managed to strangle his vocal cords and force them back under his control. “Cody,” he said again. “Cody, I’m not - I’m fine. It’s a side effect. I really am -“ he took a breath, and sobbed on the exhale, emotions tangling up and threatening to choke him once again. “I know this does seem like I’m lying, but I really am fine.”

Cody’s eyebrows twitched.

“Sir, avoiding your emotions isn’t healthy.”

 Obi-Wan just barely resisted the urge to slam his head against the wall.

[laurasanchez36]

My NEW MSA and Scooby-Doo! Abracadabra-Doo OC and Sandi Kingsmen's boyfriend

Full Name:

First Name:

Last Name:

Nicknames:

Gender: Male

Profile Pic

Age: 20

Blood Type:

Occupation:

Actual or Past Occupation:

Favourite Shows/Games: ___/___/___

(___,___,___)

Favourite Food:

Instrument:

Favourite Animal:

Family:

Family:

Other Family Members Relatives:

Species: Human

Friends: Mystery Teams, Girls' Clue Club Team, Scooby Doo Team, Madelyn Dinkley, Sandi Kingsmen (his girlfriend/he thinks she was a knight warrior), Whirlen Merlin, Crystal, Mrs. Alma Rumblebuns, Amos The Groundskeeper, The Sheriff, Nanny,

Enemies: Gryphon, Marlon Whirlen, Mr. Calvin Curdles, The Banshee, The Ghost of Cloaked Hood Warrior/The Dark Ghost Dracula of Cloaked Hood Warrior,

Alignment: Good

Likes: Falling in love about Sandi Kingsmen was a knight warrior,

Dislikes: Gets Captured by Gryphon,

Hobby:

Goals:

Weapons:

Powers and Abilities:

Skills and Abilities:

Fears/Phobias:

Skin Colour:

Eyes Colour:

Hair Colour:

Clothes:

Shoes:

Accessories:

Hair Styles:

Eyebrows Styles: 

Nationality:

Sexuality:

@sfcabanasstarcgs and @mysteryideasgroup

This one sounds like Enzo (from Hello Neighbor) and Danny Fenton/Phantom (from Danny Phantom)

[minnesota-fats]

Danny just messing around and scaring people like ghosts do!

In the discord server I’m in some people joked that Danny was “getting his head in the game” and I said he throws his head onto the basketball court to get Wes attention/piss him off!

[totallycorrectdannyphantomquotes]

Sam: So why does Juliet kill herself?

Jazz: Because without Romeo, she has no reason to live.

Sam: Oh. You can tell this play was written by a man.

[long-live-astronerd-ghost-king]

DPxDC prompt:  “Don't Tell Mom the Babysitter's Dead” or

Batman Has An Adoption Problem but Phantoms have a Babysitting Problem

~~~~

Alicia lives in Smallville. Danny Fenton spent every summer visiting his aunt.

   And until his fourteenth birthday, Danny had no problem with hanging out with a strange child of the Kent family. After all, the Fentons were also considered freaks. He was getting good money for babysitting because he didn’t ask Martha too many questions.

   So this is what do the rest of the Justice League see when they bump into the usually newbie-friendly Superman and the Phantom in the hallway:

Superman: "You're like my own personal brand of Kryptonite."

Phantom: ~aww~

Superman: Not in a cute way. You literally make me sick! Have you ever heard of social distance?

Phantom: No :) Tell me, ~I’m dying to know.~

Superman: I hate you!

~~~~

Meanwhile in Gotham, 

Dan Phantom is dragging Robin by the neck from Killer Croc’s lair.

Dan: Look, punk, your mother won’t pay me if you don’t live to be a grown-up. Be a good assh...assassin and don't try to play with someone who’s out of your league.

Robin: Fuck off, I am not a baby to listen to a nanny. I'm 10!

Dan:...I’ll call Alfred and tell him you’re fooling around on school night.

Damian: Don't you dare!

[dcxdpdabbles]

Master Posts Links

All the dabbles I have posted on my DC x DP account. Under a read more due to how long it is. Broken into three categories:

Multi-parts - Dabbles that have more than one part written.

One-shots- Dabbles with only one part written.

Requests- Dabbles written for the requests of readers. (Note: If a request is for a continuation of the other two categories, they will be filed in Milti-parts)

Master Post 1 Link

Master Post 2 Link

Completed AUs Master Post Link

Master

Please read the indexes to determine which master post each au is filed in.

As of 02/10/2024: The newest stuff is inside of Master Post 2. If there are many parts from Master Post 1, they will remain on that one.

MASTER POST 1 INDEX:

Multi-parts:

The Royal Consort,

Child Support

Alfred's Boy

The Adoptive Son

Phantom's Number 1 fan

Passion for Fashion

Danny and The Fan Blog

Congratulations! It's Triplets!:

Ghost King Summon dare

The Dauntless Matchmaker

Demon and Angel Brat

Single Dad

Jason's Doll

Alley Boyfriends

One-shots:

The Assistant

The Ghost Trio's Food Trip

Legal Compensation

Love Among Fans

Lex Luther's Youngest

Misplace Baby:

The Infinite Realms Hobby Store:

Obsession Runs in the Family

Farm Hand

Vague Threats

Game of Deadly Love

Retired-Rouge

The Real Blood Son

The Kid of Candles

Magic Older Brother

Keep The God Kid Busy!

Dog walker

Clockwork's Cookbook

Respawn and Relive

The Summoning Conditions of the Ghost King

Finders Keeper

What's the rule again?

The Contact, the Butler and the Sly Time Lord

Big Fish in Gotham Pond:

Immunity system:

Wrong Number:

Timeline Prevention Squad

Requests

The Masters are Aliens

Ghost Zone Read

Red Hood's Snow

Jason Sees Dead People

Ghost Dad

Wayne Manor Ghost

The Siren of Iceberg Lounge

The Orginal

The Ghost King's Fibs

Red ParentHood

Woo thy Butler, My Lord

Cass the Halfa

Double Vision

Dealeyed Soulmates

Rescue Mission

Danny's Online Persona

Practice makes perfect

MASTER POST 2 INDEX:

Multi-Parts

Cass the Halfa

Danny's Grill

Freelance Inventor

The Audit

Why Ten?

Mr. Flavor

Cluster of Cores

Demon Head Slightly to the left

Danny Fenton's Ex

New Management

One-Shots

Red Yummy

It's all Fun and Games Kids!

Professional Protector of Love

The Backroads

In 30 Minutes or less

One hell of a good bellhop

Mr. Flavor

Danny Fenton's Ex

Corporate Rivals

Rude Kryptonian

The Summoned Demon

New Management

Ecto-Specialist

Side Hustle

Copyright

Love at first (club) meeting

Catnip for heroes

Old Friends

Danny the Nanny

Lights and Camera

Hot Wings

Marriage trap the Office Supplier!

Requests

Batman with a gun's lover

IRS's boogie man

Super Robin

Dear Elder Brother's mistakes

The Undead Florist

Pit's Merman

Dullahan is my roomate

Nightowl Appartement

The one with Sunset Hair

Phone a friend

Billy's Parents

The Cinnamon Roll's son

The ost In-Laws

Cassandra's Curse in Gotham

The Lady and The Dad

Big Brother does not approve

Gotham's star and Shadow

COMPLETED AUS MASTER POST INDEX

The Bakery is a Front!....right?

Cave Boy

[evandarya]

What if Bruce parents watched over him as ghost than one day they felt a tug and just knew they had to follow it.

They did and it lead to a little baby whom was sick and did not look like he was going to make it.

The mother stood there frowning before dropping her baby into a glowing green pool.

Martha Wayne wasted no time before driving in after the baby. That lead them both into the ghost zone.

She knew the child would died soon if she didn't get him out as the living didn't belong here.

Jack and Maddie try to turn on their protype protal and are shocked when a ghost lady appears with a baby being for them to save him.

Years later Damian learns of his older brother

Would that mean Danny is older than Jazz? Or do Jack and Maddie already have her? If so, that adds a whole new creep factor to Vlad.

So, Jack and Maddie get Danny from a ghost, and they know he has connections to the ghosts and the ghost zone. Would they think he's a ghost? Would that change how they treat him? Does he have any powers from his trip through the zone/Lazarus pits?

Imagine Danny as a two year old having to learn how to control his powers. He'd be so much more powerful by the time he was a teenager. And Martha Wayne doesn't leave when she gives the baby to the Fentons. She stays as kind of Danny's nanny/imaginary friend.

I'll take two.

[queenofhearts7378]

Constellations Ch. 4

[Alternatively titled: Draco's Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day.

And, I just want to say, I love you guys :^) ]

Prev. Chapter - Next Chapter - First Chapter

....

Homeroom/English Literature

Wes came back with a scowl and refused to look in Danny or Draco's direction. Danny considered that a win for today. Mr. Lancer considered phoning Walter Weston about taking Wes out of school for the day.

"Semester tests are in two weeks," Mr. Lancer said, "The tests will take place on the last few days of school, and are optional for students that meet the proper requirements. For those of you who didn't quite make the grade, or didn't make it to class, " He shot a pointed look to Danny, "You will have to take them. I'll pass out the study guide, and we will spend this week going over it and reviewing the test material. For those of you opting out of the test, consider this a free period so long as you remain quiet and unobtrusive to those studying."

He started passing out the thick sheets of paper. Dash groaned when he got his, "Mr. Lancer this is, like, 50 pages long!"

"Front and back." Valerie muttered, flicking through the pages.

"It's only twelve pages, but if you don't think it's enough-"

He was immediately met with protests from around the room, insisting 'No, it's fine! We don't need anymore!'. He smirked.

Handing a packet to Danny's recent tag-a-long, he said, "Even though you won't be taking any tests, perhaps you could help Mr. Fenton study his. It would at least give you something to do in class."

Draco took the plain sheets of paper with furrowed brows and Mr. Lancer continued down the aisle. Quickly scanning over the paper, he leaned over and asked, "Danny what is 'Shakespeare'?"

Danny stared at him. He turned to Sam, "You are helping me study."

Mr. Lancer finished passing out the papers, and proceeded up front to go over them. Half the class was playing on their phones underneath their desks. (Or in Paulina's case, just holding it up in front of her face.)

The other half was at least attempting to take notes. Wes muttered furiously under his breath and Valerie was viciously scribbling down everything she could. Tucker jotted down schematic notes between questions as he thought about different improvements he could make to his tech and the Fenton's. Sam was reading something covered in black leather and dust underneath the table. Danny started out taking notes but then got distracted trying to explain….pretty much everything on the study guide to Draco.

Tucker leaned over, "Do you guys not have English Lit where you're from?"

Draco gave him a scathing look. "We have practical classes, on subjects we use in our daily lives. Why on Earth would you need to know-" he squinted at the paper, "'Who seems less impulsive and more realistic- Romeo or Juliet?' What use is that?"

Sam made a hm noise and pulled out a paper.

"Sam, what are you planning?" Danny leaned over her shoulder to see what she was writing. "Oh….I don't see how any of that will help."

"What are you planning to force on me?" Draco asked.

Sam smirked at him and started counting on her fingers, "The Craft, Blair Witch Project, Hocus Pocus-"

"One of those is not like the other Sam." Tucker said.

"Hush. Hansel and Gretel-"

"Maybe not that one!" Danny hissed.

Tucker snorted, "Isn't that the one with the guy that plays Hawkeye? Also the one that-"

"Yes," Danny interrupted, shoving his hand in Tucker's face, "What about Lord of the Rings? Mary Poppins, Nanny McPhee, Narnia?"

"Sleepy Hollow, Elvira, The Crucible." Sam continued.

Danny paused, "Maybe The Crucible, if only because it's on the study guide. He's staying for the entire summer, I'd rather not traumatize him. Please. I am begging you."

She looked at him flatly, "Then beg."

"For the record," Tucker drawled to a very confused Draco, "I think they're planning on introducing you to normal people's views on magic via movie marathon. Which means a slumber party at Sam's."

Draco looked as thrilled with that suggestion as Danny did whenever Vlad shows up at his house.

In other words, not thrilled.

Mr. Lancer coughed next to the group, giving Danny a significant look.

"Study slumber party at Sam's!" Tucker said brightly. "Cause that is what we'll be doing. Studying. Like what we're supposed to be doing right now."

Sam and Danny smacked their foreheads at the same time.

"Excellent save Mr. Foley."

Tucker gave a thumbs up as Mr. Lancer walked away. Draco glared at the study guide. "I'm already hating this."

"Well, it could be worse."

"Tucker!"

....

Algebra 2

Danny and Tucker had taken extra math classes the year before so they could get into Calculus in their senior year. Sam did not, so she wriggled her fingers at them before disappearing to Speech class.

Mr. Falluca had the same reaction to Draco as everyone else had so far.

"There are two of you?" He asked in dread.

Draco sighed.

The rest of class wasn't much better.

Danny was handed another study guide, so Draco was handed one as well. Danny spent the rest of class trying to convince Draco that 'yes, there are letters in math, they're variables you see-what do you mean you don't know what a variable is?'

Draco tapped the ink pen Danny let him borrow on top of one of the equations.

(Draco would never admit this - especially not to Danny because he would be insufferable - but he kind of preferred the weird muggle pens over the quills and feathers he grew up on. It was easier to use, less cumbersome to carry, and so much less messy. But again, he'd rather die than admit that to anybody.)

"...Why has everyone looked horrified when they learn I'm related to you?"

Danny thought over the question for a moment. "Honestly? I think they're just horrified in general at the idea of another Fenton running around. Which, rude first of all. Second of all, I completely understand, considering the chaos that usually follows our parents."

"That and the teachers can barely handle one Danny," Tucker added, "They've probably had nightmares about this specific situation."

....

History

Mrs. Hatch made an incredulous noise as she overheard Draco ask Danny, "Which civil war is it talking about? It just says Civil War, no names."

"Everyone knows the Civil War! It was a turning point in our history and economy with ramifications still being felt today! What kind of American doesn't know about the Civil War!?"

Draco stared at her for a moment, while Danny snorted into his hand.

"I'm British."

....

Study Hall

"Are you going to get a study guide in every class?"

Danny just shrugged and threw his books on the desk. Mrs. Cornish threw him a sharp look which he bravely ignored. "I mean, I've got to take every semester test soooo….yeah."

Draco set down two of the study guides he received, having thrown the History one out before he left the class. He didn't particularly care about the Math, and Danny didn't really need his help for that.

The classic literature intrigued him though, if only for the stories. Another thing he will absolutely never tell Danny.

He was really getting the hang of this sibling thing.

"Why do you have to take all the tests? Your grades can't be nearly as bad as Potter's."

Danny squinted at him. "Are you insulting your arch nemesis and complimenting me at the same time?"

"..."

"I can respect that." Danny nudged his shoulder. "I uh, missed too much class. Too many tardies, and my homework tends to get lost."

'Or destroyed,' he thought mournfully, remembering Skulker specifically targeting his backpack last week.

"That is a ridiculous reason to take tests and very easily preventable."

"It's really not."

"It is. You just show up for class. And tardiness?"

"Can we skip this?"

"You are already in the building and it is nowhere near as massive as Hogwarts so I doubt you are getting lost-"

"Wanna talk about what happened?" Danny snapped.

Draco tightened his jaw, sitting back in his seat. They glared at each for a few moments before Danny sighed.

"Sorry Drake, kind of a sore subject." Danny ran his hand through his hair. "Mom and Dad are already on my case about absences, I really don't need you on it too."

Draco's eyes flitted across the room, "I meant no offense."

Danny knew that was as close to an apology as he was going to get and he grinned, "I know you didn't….We do need to talk about what happened though. Maybe not right now, but we do need to."

Draco tilted his head in acknowledgment. He pulled out the English study guide. "So what is Romeo and Juliet about?"

"Excellent subject change. Uhhh two teenagers from feuding families fall in love and die."

"That's….something."

"I'm oversimplifying."

Draco smirked, "Alright. The Crucible?"

"Uhhhhhhhhhhhhh….the Salem Witch Trials?" Danny winced.

The wizard huffed, "Muggles writing a play based on witches and wizards? You know nothing about the Witch Trials. Salem may be the most recognizable, but that was around the time we separated from the non magical world. Nothing muggles could come up with will come close to the actual history."

Danny stared at him. "Dude. You need to lend Sam your magic History book. She might not fight you if you let her read that."

"Why would she fight me? And why do you say that like she's planning on it?!"

Danny sucked his teeth and went back to his study guides.

"Danny!"

....

Lunch

The trio-turned-quartet made their way out of the doors of the school and made a beeline for their usual table outside.

"Thank Merlin you're not making me eat the school food." Draco said as Danny handed him a sandwich.

"Glad I thought of making an extra sandwich this morning. I did not want to listen to you gripe all day."

"Too late for that." Sam said as she pulled out her fruit salad.

Any hopes of having a peaceful lunch were dashed by, well, Dash.

The teenager slammed his hand down on the table next to Tucker, causing him to choke on his food. "So, you're Fentonia's twin huh?"

"Go away Dash." Sam drawled.

Draco set down his sandwich and turned to the unwanted company. "If you are here to 'shove me into a dumpster'," He said, quoting Danny from this morning, "I feel like I should inform you my father is incredibly wealthy and high up in British politics and I can easily ruin you."

All four of them stared at him.

Draco sneered at the boy, "Leave."

"Whatever, you're not worth it." Dash said as he skulked away, in a last ditch attempt to salvage his pride. The kid had rich snob practically dripping off him, Dash knew that was no idle threat.

"I'm worth a lot more than you." Draco rolled his eyes, clearly not impressed by the half hearted attempt at bullying.

They stared at him.

"Well," Danny said brightly, "Maybe Dash will leave me alone now!"

"Yeah, till Draco goes home at the end of summer and it's back to pummeling time." Tucker grinned.

Danny stole Tucker's chips in retaliation.

About halfway through lunch, Draco felt a chill creep up his spine. He heard Danny gasp slightly.

Danny slid his lunch over, "I got to go to the bathroom I'll be right back stay here!" Then he rushed off away from the school building.

Draco stared after him, baffled. He turned to the other two for answers.

"Bladder issues." Sam said, not even looking up from her book. Tucker gave an awkward laugh.

....

Chemistry

Danny didn't show up by the time the bell signaled the end of lunch and Draco was not worried about him.

Not at all.

Sam and Tucker didn't seem that concerned as they dragged Draco to the next class.

Mrs. Johnson frowned as they walked in. "Is this the other Fenton?"

"It's Malfoy." Draco was ignored.

"Yes it is." Tucker replied to the teacher.

"Where is the original?"

"Bathroom." Sam and Tucker chorused.

Mrs. Johnson sighed, "Do not touch anything breakable. All Fenton's in my class are banned from handling fragile equipment. Better safe than sorry."

Danny skidded in and almost knocked over Draco. "Sorry, bathroom, line, rusty door lock-"

"Please sit down Mr. Fenton."

Danny grinned and gave a thumbs up. "C'mon Drake, you're going to love this class."

Danny grabbed an extra textbook off the shelf on the way to their seats and handed it to Draco. "So Potions is your favorite class right?"

Danny had complete and utter disregard for the Statute of Secrecy. This was something Draco was quickly learning to hate as Danny talked about magic in the middle of a muggle classroom. Draco's eyes flitted around the room, but the only ones paying any attention to them were Sam and Tucker.

"Well Chemistry is just the muggle version of Potions." He wiggled the book in front of his face. "It's just mixing things together to get certain reactions. Granted it's not magic, just science, but still."

Lowered the book out of his face, "I don't see how that would endear me to this class."

"What if you mixed Potions and Chemistry together?"

Draco grabbed the textbook, "How are you supposed to mix magic with muggle science? There's no way someone hasn't already thought of this."

He started flicking through the textbook and Danny grinned victory. His brother was, at heart, a science nerd just like the rest of the Fenton's.

Mrs. Johnson watched the interaction blankly. "Oh lord there are two of them."

....

PE

Draco hid behind Danny best he could.

"Dude I am literally the worst person to hide behind they always target me."

"This is a ridiculous and pointless exercise and I hate this." Draco hissed.

A red rubber ball smacked Danny in the face while another one hit Draco's hip.

Coach Tetslaff blew her whistle, "Fentons! Out!"

Tucker cried out "Don't worry Danny! I'll avenge you!" A ball smacked him in the side of the face, "Motherf-"

Tetslaff blew her whistle again, "Foley, out!"

Tucker threw himself into Danny's arms, "Avenge us Sam! You're our last hope!"

Danny held Tucker closer and slid them both to ground, overdramatically reaching out to Sam. "For our dignity Sam!"

"You have to actually have dignity in order for me to avenge it." She threw her ball at them and they yelped.

Draco shook his head at the duo. "Where can I find the restroom?"

"I'll take you there."

Tetslaff appeared out of nowhere, "Absolutely not. WESTON! Front and center!"

Danny made a face, "Coach, I can take him to the bathroom. Principal Ishiyama gave me responsibility over him."

Tetslaff shot him a look. "And that is exactly why I'm sending Weston instead. He'll make sure Malfoy actually returns to class."

Danny flushed while Tucker cackled next to him.

Draco gave the very unhappy red head a cautious look. He wasn't convinced that Weston wouldn't just strangle him in a stall, but nevertheless he followed him out into the hall.

As soon as they got in the bathroom, Weston turned on him. "I know your secret!" He hissed.

Draco was going to kill Danny.

"What are you talking about?" He snapped, his hand twitching towards his wand.

"You think you're sooooo slick huh? Just flaunting around in the open? You think it's fun to mess with me? Well I know the truth!"

Draco started to pull out his wand.

"You're not real!"

"…."

Draco wondered if it was a predetermined trait that all red heads were completely bonkers.

"You think I'll get fooled by this again? You aren't even a good duplicate!" Wes stabbed his finger towards Draco. "And I can't believe people are actually falling for this long-lost-twin-from-England joke!"

"...What in the name of Merlin are you talking about?"

Wes sniffed. "You won't get away with this Phantom. I'm watching you, always watching!"

Then he turned and stormed out of the bathroom, leaving a very confused Draco behind him.

"What the bloody hell just happened?" Draco muttered to himself.

....

Home Economics

"I can't believe you have to take a test on servant duties."

Danny stared at him, "Drake….you do know you're going to have chores while you stay with us, right?"

Sam cackled at the look on Draco's face.

....

Art

"You!" Wes hissed, shoving his finger into Danny's face.

"Hey Wes." Danny went cross-eyed watching Wes's finger. "You okay? You looked a little stressed this morning."

"And who's fault is that?" Wes huffed, "How long are you going to keep this up huh? A week? Two?"

"Keep what up?"

"He doesn't believe I'm real." Draco drawled.

"What."

"He's nothing but a duplicate you're using to make my life miserable." Wes said.

Danny started giggling, "You-you think-?" He put his head on the table and laughed.

"Wes," Sam said slowly, eyeing Danny in concern, "You know how Danny wasn't here last summer?"

"Most peaceful summer of my life? Yes."

Danny was still laughing, tears now streaming down his face.

"He was staying with his birth parents in England." She pointed to an unimpressed Draco, "His parents. You may not believe this, but not everything Danny does is to piss you off."

"Nah," Tucker said, "It's just a bonus."

Wes looked at Sam. Then he looked at Draco, then the still hysterical Danny, before looking back at Sam. "...I hate all of you." He turned and walked to his seat.

"We love you too Wes!" Tucker shouted after him, "You always make us laugh!" He laughed at the rude gesture Wes sent his way.

"...So do you have Art classes at Hogwarts?" Sam asked.

"No, don't change the subject." Draco snapped at them, "What is going on with him? He cornered me in that bathroom to tell me I'm not real!"

Tucker didn't think people could actually voice a keyboard smash, but Danny gave it his best shot.

"Achhgkksss, guys please I'm having a stroke-"

Draco gave Danny a concerned look.

Tucker snickered, "He thinks Danny is a ghost." He yelped when Sam kicked him under the table.

"That is the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard and I go to school with Potter."

"I know right? Totally unbelievable." Tucker nodded.

"To be fair he did think I was a vampire when I first moved here." Sam said.

"And that Mr. Lancer was a werewolf."

"And that our cheerleading team was a team of soul sucking sirens. Which they are but just the human kind."

"Oh! That time he tried to convince the town the Fentons were a family of time traveling aliens from another dimension."

"Ugh," Draco held up his hand, "I don't want to hear anymore."

Danny was still wheezing on the table.

….

("You know paintings in the wizarding world move?"

"What?!")

....

Draco leaned against the wall next to Danny's locker, thoroughly done with the day. "That was incredibly stressful."

Danny snorted as he slammed his locker shut, "Drake, that was nothing. Usually I'm like, ten times more stressed and actually having to learn while I'm at it."

Whispers followed the four of them out the door, and into the courtyard. Draco was, quite frankly, tired of being on this end of the rumor mill. This was almost as bad as the ferret incident.

(Okay, it didn't even come close. And thankfully no one had been around when Granger punched him, or that particular incident would have followed him for months. Draco was just being incredibly dramatic.)

"I get handed the same homework as you," Draco said, ticking off his fingers, "almost every teacher looked horrified at the thought of me, Sam has laid out plans to torture me via 'movies' and none of you are concerned-"

Sam smirked.

"-I got hit multiple times with a rubber ball, cornered in a bathroom and told I'm not real, you ditched me at lunch-"

Danny, Sam, and Tucker all chorused, "Bladder issues."

Draco stared at them, "Ditched. At. Lunch. And don't even talk to me about Home Economics."

"It's really not as bad of a day as you're making it out to be."

"Yeah," Tucker said, "I mean, we weren't even interrupted by a ghost attack."

"Tucker!" Sam and Danny hissed.

Draco threw his hands up in the air, "And that! That illogical paranoia that ghosts can actually harm you! It's ridiculous! You're muggles, you don't know anything about ghosts!"

"Oh boy," Danny muttered.

"Big oof." Tucker nodded in response.

Sam clicked her tongue condescendingly, "I forgot you were an outsider."

Draco would have said something, if he wasn't interrupted by a loud CRASH, followed by people screaming.

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[popculturebuffet]

Ducktales Treasure of the Golden Sun: Three Ducks of the Condor or Now with More Racism!

Hello all you happy people! And welcome back to my look at Ducktales: Treasure of the Golden Suns!, the pilot episodes that started it all. This look was one of my patreon stretch goals. To explain them in case some of you aren’t familiar with patreon it’s essentially like a kickstarter stretch goal: every milestone I reach in my monthly earnings means a crop of reviews for you guys, with this being 10 and my review of the movie, and the goofy movies in two weeks and September respectively, being the 15 dollar one. So if you want reviews of the OTHER Ducktales mini series Time Is Money and Super DuckTales, then hop on aboard and help me reach my 20 dollar goal so I can keep making these reviews for a living and give you all more. Said goal also includes a Darkwing Duck review eveyr month AND a review of teh Danny Phantom special The ULtimate Enemy so hop on board HERE AT MY PATREON.  Patrons also get exclusive reviews, access to my discord server (Though if anyone would be more intrersted in me making that public let me know), and to pick a short each time I do a birthday special for a character from Looney Tunes, Disney and Beyond. And next month is my boy Donald’s so since you all already sat out goofy NOW is the time. 

So now my very necessary plug is out of the way, i’m very poor, we can get to the review proper:

When last we left off Scrooge and the Boys went on their first proper adventure together, heading to Central America to follow the map from the first episode and running into Dr.Claw  El Capitan and his new best buddy Glomgold. Mild racisim, moonsoons and much better pacing ensued. 

So join me under the cut as my boy Donald returns, some iconic characters are introduced in Webby, Launchpad and Beakly, though this series only made one of them iconic to be fair, and we get some more mild racisim because fuck my life. Onward to the cut! 

So yeah as I’ve mentioned a few times now this episode had a content warning.. which was fair as there is some pretty cringy stuff in here but it had the side effect of me holding my breath until the racisim came up and whapped me in the face. So i’m keeping that tension up for you guys so I don’t have to suffer alone. 

We open at the Mansion. Scrooge is trying to find a governess for the boys, but they keep scaring off all the clients because they don’t like the idea. And for once.. i’m on Scrooge’s side here. Yes I know there’s a sterotype of rich people hiring a nanny to not have to parent. and it’s sadly often true and it’d SEEM like Scrooge is doing that.. but really he just wants the boys to be safe. He’s fully grown to care for them and just wants someone cheap and responsible to look after them while he’s busy and clearly still makes time for them. As someone who is a former nanny, albeit for someone working class, I get that as much as you WANT to spend every moment with your kid you often can’t. I say all this because SO MANY kids movies and shows villianize parents for not spending time with their kid when their clearly just working to support them. There are nuanced exceptions to this and refreshingly Craig of the Creek has outright avoided this: JP’s mom is gone almost all the time due to working as an airline pilot, but while he clearly misses her he never resents her or guilts her over it, he understands sh’es supporting him and goes out of his way to make sure his friends can meet her. It’s really swee.t And while again I get it, this guys a billionare, most examples aren’t, Scrooge still really CAN’T stop working: He has more money than god and like most bilionares REALLY should give most of it to charity or to help with programs instead of hoarding it in a massive bin.. but he’s also got tons of companies, factories, investments... people COUNTING on him to make sure these are working correctly and keep their jobs. So yeah i’ts nice that the show isn’t demonizing scrooge for this or dosen’t even consider it: he’s getting help beacuse he needs it, that’s what’s important. 

So while the boys widdle down the nannies, Scrooge talks to a renowned coin collector. He does show off his collection to the guy, but his main goal is naturally to show him the coin from last time. Turns out that naturally for a five part episode the treasure they lost last time was just a fraction of the real thing and the real titular treasure is a mythical horde even Scrooge, who normally has proved something out of myth is very real 5 times before breakfast, didn’t think existed. 

Something I do love about this five parter is how every treasure hunt has ended up being important each piece of the puzzle leading to the next like any good treasure hunt. As for where this one leads the collector HAS heard of only one other coin like it, up in the Andes Mountains in a mysterious fortress whose mountain habitat and being a fortress makes it hard to get to and the owner is apparently a real piece of work.. but Scrooge isn’t afraid of a little hard work and is ready to go after it.. he just has to find a Nanny first. 

And he does as there’s only one left: Mrs. Beakley, who we FINALLY meet after two episodes. Yeah for some weird reasont his episode choose to cram the rest of the major main and supporting cast into one episode.. it still works, they all still get great introductions it’s just weird to me when you have five episodes to not say introduce Launchpad last time. 

But regardless as I said it’s a good intro.. despite the boys wilding a lasso and a snake.

 Beakly is unphased and even dosen’t remotely fall for them trying to say she got the wrong name. And while Scrooge is a little impressed, he’s even more when she states she’ll work for free... with one condition: Free room and board for her and her grandaughter, Webby, who has been there the whole time and looking cute as a button. Scrooge is unsure but one minute of Webby being adorable later and he’s agreed. She can’t eat much right? He also hopes she’ll help the boys not be douchebags, unaware that their inherent poorly written sexisim means that was never going to work. And why yes I will call it out eveyr time it happens because it happens every time they have an episode together and only gets worse. 

He goes to Gyro for help and Classic Gyro.. is utterly delightful. While I clearly have issues with Classic Scrooge, whose a greedy poorly aged asshat and the boys, who are sterotypes of male children, Gyro? He’s nice, friendlya nd eccentric, using a delightfully wakcky pogo hat thing to think and takes only a mintue to figure out how to solve a seemingly unsolvable problem and only needs a few hours to build his cool looking bird ship, using bird legs to offset the hard to sort out landing conditions. But since it’s a fancy bitch, it needs a pilot and i’m sure we all know where this is going...but since Carol Danver sis busy he has to go with Launchpad. 

Launchpad’s intro is great, cheerful as he does a job testing a plane and naturally crashes it, and when thought dead walks out seconds later unharmed and jolly as ever. Scrooge is naturally terrified of the prospect of flying with him but dosen’t really have another choice “I hope my insurance is paid up.” Scrooge it’s you.. of course it isn't. 

So with that our hero bids a farewell to the boys and ends up unteitonally coming off MASSIVELY unlikeable. No really he leaves them behind for their saftey despite needing help... and then upon finding out Donald is going to be on leave soon in the andes, and just assumes that YOU KNOW, he’d LIKE to go on a dangerous exausting adventure instead of actually get some rest after working in the goddamn navy and STILL dosen’t take the kids along despite having a very tearjerking farewell IN FRONT OF HIM that happened at most a month ago. Granted i’m suprised Donald is getting leave this soon.. but since I genuinely like to look into this sort of thing and the last time I didn’t I was correctly reminded Gulliver’s Travels was a satire.. and found out someone HAD actually watched the Jack Black movie. I only vaugely remember a trailer.. I thinkn it was a trailer? Maybe it was the middle part of a juinor novelzation where htey have all the photos? I really don’t know. I know almost every pokemon on sight but not where I saw pictures of a forgetable jack black movie, what a shock. 

So long story short I DID google it. Here’s what I got

So given clealry more time has passed than we’ve seen on screen, enough time COULD have passed for Donald’s three day pass to kick in. So credit to the crew for actually thinking that out. They still get all the blame though for not only not seeing how bad not taking the kids to see the uncle whose like a father to them a month after he left when he CLEARLY can is bad, but how worse it is that the first break donald gets ina  month.. is spent helping scrooge against his will on a life or death treasure hunt. 

And I get WHY they wanted to try out having Donald on an adventure: he was in most of the carl barks material.... but I also dont’ get it as Launchpad was deisgned entirely to fill in for Donald when needed, we’re only three episodes into the series and this gives the wrong impression Donald will guest star a lot more. In practice while he still did get a meaty 8 episodes on the show including this one, 2 of which were cameos and the pilot only dosne’t count because of the exnteded slapstick sequence, and dosen’t appear at all after season 1, likely because Fenton’s introduction made him reduntant as he was an even more blatant Donald stand-in. It just feels weird to shove him into the pilot movie when we should be focusing on our main cast, epsecially with so many getting intorduced this episode. It woudl’ve made more sense for Gyro to be the third man instead and it woud’ve elmaited Scrooge’s uttelry horrible actions here of depriving his nephews of their surrogate father. 

So Uncle Dickstick leaves with Launchpad to go abduct donald.... and tha’ts not me being funny, that’s what actually happens. Donald is singing out on leave.. with his superior... weirdly doing paper work outside on the flight deck. 

And is angry at Donald because of him taking pictures and stuff and threatens him if he’s not back exactly in time... because look he’s on a boat with a bunch of sweaty men but as the most superior officer he can’t enjoy that so he has to get off SOMEHOW and ruining donald’s life just happens ot be a thing for him. 

So yeah Scrooge straight up naps Donald via claw and Donald is angry, wondering, as you’d expect “What’s the big idea”.. and once Scrooge clairfies he did it.. still asks that because what the fuck. And the episode treats this as comical, as it does Launchpad not understanding Donald.. and don’t get me wrong you CAN make a good “I can’t understand Donald Duck” joke, the 2017 series made PLENTY. But said series also spoiled me as they did it with far more effort, while also still showing just how much it would suck to have everyone around you struggle to hear what you say and never listen to you. They actually cared abotu Donald’s well being where as this one thinks “Gee you knwo what would go great iwth a hard month’s naval work? MORE WORK HELPING YOUR UNCLE GET RICHER FOR NO PERSONAL BENIFIT AFTER HE KIDNAPS YOU”. 

So our heroes.. and scrooge, head to Andes and find the temple and it’s here “Sigh” we met our antagonist. A Conquestador Douche who DOES have a name and it is on the wiki.. but is so generic and unlikeble I’m just going to keep calling him conquestador douche, whose introduced waving his sun coin around while the natives all bow to him because of the coin.

Welcome to the racisim! Admitely it’s not as bad as Treasure of the Lost Lamp, that’s a high bar to clear, but ti’s still not great to have the racist cliche of “character conquers a civilization because of they belivie he’s a messenger for their “silly” god”. And the saddest part is not that I didn’t notice this trope and how bad it was as a kid watching shows like this... but that as an ADULT about 4 years ago when I watched this episode how racist it and this trope in general was didn’t register to me at all. That.. really bothers me that it took me this long to pick up on things like this and i’m sorry for it. 

That’s honestly WHY we need these warnings and WHY i’m so hard on this racisim: it wasn’t necessary, it could’ve been removed and you clearly just didn’t care or didn’t realize it was racist. And even acceptable for the time dosen’t work for anymore: I learned recently that the creators of Fresh Prince of Bel-Air, both white, hired black writers..and actually LISTENED, looking to them for personal stories and to check them if one of the white staff wrote something that wasn’t true to the black experience. I know that sounds like the bare minimum but this was the early 90′s, that kind of thinking wasn’t hte norm like it is in most writer’s rooms now.. and sadly not ALL writer’s rooms. Not only that but just today I ran into a MST3K skit that lampooned this kind of bullshit from not long after this episode. People clearly knew better, the writers of this episode just didn’t’t care

 So yeah, I get this was a kids show in the 80′s, I get the writing staff being almost all white.. but they still coudl’ve avoided cliche sterotypes and done something diffrent. It was was still wiithin white people like myselves power to actually think about something other htan themselves and we did not. So i’m never going to stop holding my own people accountable for just how BADLY we’ve fucked up in ways great and small because it still hasn’t stopped , likely never will so I won’t. 

But yeah.... the tribe here are portrayed as ignorant, mindless dumbasses who blindly follow tradition and a clearly corrupt leader. It’s patronizingly stupid to assume just because a belief system is diffrent than yours a person will belieive anything. Religion CAN make people act stupid, the fact many people are homophobic simply because the bible, a centuries old document written and distrbuted by humans that could of been altered by people with a clear homophobic agenda, says they should be. But there’s the very clear very gross implication here that any god but the christian god is invalid and simplifies wonderful and well thought out myths and beliviefs from various cultures into “well they belivie in da sun god because of the shiny coin”. It’s gross, i’m glad it’s stopped and it’s VERY telling that the closest Ducktales 2017 came to this was the most dangerous game night which while a tad cringe inducing at least showed the tribe it used was clever, disposed the person they mistook for a god after it was clear he wasn’t one , and were wholly sympathetic. 

Naturally Conquistadouche orders the tribe to attack Scrooge and it works briefly , though Scrogoe prepares to take on the ENTIRE villiage.. and given this is Scrooge and on this blog we’ve seen him take on an entire town before, and that was a more inexpericed less bastardly scrooge yeah their fucked, and only escape death because the coin falls out of scrooge’s coat when he tries to help donald who naturally injures himself trying to help. 

And since as per white dumbass racist logic, the villiagers thought Conquistadipshit was a messenger of the gods because of his coin, they think the same of Scrooge, this causes them to stop and bow instead and protect scrooge when Conquistadumbass tries to attack our heroes. Their given a room for the night naturally. 

Conquistadick demands they give him the coin and leave, but Scrooge has none of that: he has no reason to leave and has all the leverage so he instead demands to know wha’ts going on. 

Turns out Conquisineart is the decdendant of one of the crew from the ship Scrooge found: their captain rain off with it, leaving two of his men behind, though both had the map to the rest of the treasure and split it: one left for the Arctic, the other stayed and did the whole racist god bit. And somehow despite all the time passing Conquistadoodoohead still has his half and Scrooge aranges a trade for the coin. And why yes their is the obvious problem of “what if Conquistascoobydoo say tells them he’s the true god and attacks scrooge like he ends up doing in the climax”. And Scrooge’s plan.. is to have the plane ready and to run to it, despite Launchpad not being a mechanic and saying as much. Instead of you know... stealing the guy’s coin while he’s asleep or something or just having launchpad, whose bigger and stronger and donald whose not bigger but is also stronger hold the guy while Scrooge steals his sun coin, then simply walks to the plane with the map, the coins and all the leverage. at worst the guy tries to do the same scheme without any coins and as the end of the episode shows, that wouldn’t have worked. He was stupid. Oh and the cherry on  top of this shit sundae is scrooge objects to the guys tyranical rule.. but is okay with letting it keep going if he gets his coin and DOnlad, whose there for the deal, never call shim on it. 

We then get a bit of Launchpad being forced off a cliff to ride a giant Condor...

Look this episode is filled with racisit sterotypes, a generic villian and Scrogoe being awful. I’ll take a fun sequence of Launchpad riding a condor, with Donald providing an assit with his camera  by blinding the beast so Launchpad can ride him properly giving them more leverage now Launchpad is popular. And a deadline to fix things by tommorow. 

The next day Launchapd and Donald have defied logic and their own tendency to screw up and fixed the bird, while Scrooge makes the deal.. and naturally it goes EXACTLY how you’d expect and Scrooge runs, though our real heroes get thigns running. 

That’s when the people arrive on condors to persue, a fight insues yoru standard hero stuff.. not bad but given the racist context I can’t really enjoy it like Launchpad flying a condor.. which had some mild racisim in them making him do that as a ritual clearly deisgned to kill him but i’llt ake mild over pretty damn obvious. Eventually douchebag looses his coins, his ctizens abndon him. Happy end. 

So with the map Scrooge decides to do the logical thing.... have launchpad drop him in the middle of the ocean in a raft and steer there

Launchpad takes Donald home in time and his superior is mad he dosen’t give him a proper salute.. even though he CLEARLY just got home and is diisorented from a crash. Launchpad makes a quip and this episode mercifully ends. 

Final Thoughts:

This episode starts out okay.. but quickly goes downhill fast and steep. There are massive bits of racisim, massive leaps in logic, and massive amoutns of scrooge being a dick.. not his WORST in this series but it’s still bad. It’s just not very good. It’s the second worst episode of Ducktales i’ve seen, only held up by my boys Donald and Launchpad. This was miserable.

Next Time on Treasure of the Golden Suns: Our heroes head to the arctic for another offensive episode to rescue scrooge from his own stupidity.  Next Time on this Blog: We return to Green Eggs and Ham and hop on a train as our raging bitchcanoe mother and daughter duo meat our ambigiouslyg ay duo at last. 

See you at the next rainbow.