#no cousins no siblings only really just recently made friends

[heterophobicdyke]

One of my aunties was raped and abused by her husband for decades, and when she tried to leave he stabbed the priest who helped her and threatened to kill her entire family including me. She went back.

Another of my aunties was raped and abused by her boyfriend for years. He smashed in the windows of my grandparents house while I was inside, 7 years old. Cops didn’t do shit.

My Nan’s best friend and her kids were chased down train tracks by the husband with a gun, shooting after them. They ran to my grandparents house and he dropped the gun because my pop said he would have to shoot him to come inside and kill the family.

My grandparents next door neighbour’s DOCTOR husband, no proof of abuse before, murder-suicided him and his family.

Another of my Nans (recently dead) had 16 siblings, most girls. They were all molested by their father, my great grandfather. My nan’s sister told us recently that she slept with the door locked and a window open so if he came in she could run. My nan got into a cycle of abusive relationships, suicide attempts and addiction for the rest of her life. She died because male doctors wouldn’t listen to the seriousness her stomach problems.

My dad was extremely verbally abusive to my whole family and emotionally/psychologically abusive to my mum while I was growing up and he only didn’t get consistently physical (he did towards my mum a couple of times as well as smacking us kids) because he saw his own dad beat his mum (the one in the above paragraph) to a pulp multiple times, including when she left because her husband was cheating with one woman and seeing multiple prostituted women.

I have multiple other relatives who were raped and abused by their husbands. One made her fuck a dog.

When I was 15/16, my friends were being taken advantage of 20+ year old men who even made one of my friends give a vile of her blood which he kept on him (and her), as a necklace, and he held a knife up to her throat when they “had sex.” She was told it was kinky and progressive. I found radical feminism on tumblr shortly after and it was the sex styles men have that turned me radical at 16. Not trans stuff. I was ripped from my high school friends and not allowed at any parties involving these men because I didn’t flirt and I didn’t fuck. I was a lesbian (who wasn’t even out at the time). I was a “frigid.”

My high school friends let me be treated this way by their male partners until the relationship would end and I’d have the salt and vinegar chips in hand and cradle them while they broke down that he was on to the next virgin pussy. Sorry but that’s how men see it and it’s how they are.

As an adult, I made really good friends with a bisexual woman at uni. We bonded over being the radical types of feminists. She got with a man. After years together I found out he cheated with a woman I know. At first she was done with him.l, when I told her. But he talked his way around to the point he made her stop talking to ME. Because I told her. In female bathrooms she kept trying to make out with me and tell me how sorry she was that in front of him she had to act like she didn’t know me, as if the only reason I cared was because I was a lesbian and “must have wanted to get with her.” I didn’t! I was there for her as a friend!!!

My cousin got with a dude who gave me a job as a writer. At first, I could write as many words as I wanted. Gradually I realised I was there for him to prove to her family he was a good person to be with. He stopped paying me, it started coming out of her account, and at that point I left the job. She’s not with him anymore—he physically/emotionally/psychologically abused her, starved her cat, hurt her kids—and we repaired our connection.

I’ve always been the lesbian friend/fam member having to watch my OSA besties/family being abused by men while they don’t listen to me. I’ve just got to stand and watch until they’re ready to get with the next abuser.

My family is a normal Australian family. We are not known for having it especially horrible, despite not being well to do with money. This is normal.

I am NOT THE ONE to talk to about how great your boyfriend or husband is and how radical you are for staying with him because you have enough money to donate to your local woman’s shelter. I am NOT THE ONE.

These examples are why I became a radical feminist. But I was a lesbian since birth. Only had crushes on girls and women since birth. Didn’t make a choice. But I think Mother Nature made me lesbian because of the abuse my family—not unlike other families, like yours, your family just might not have been as transparent with you—has endured. As an evolutionary thing. I have a right to discuss male/female relationships so go fuck yourself.

[beneathsilverstars]

DO YOU HAVE ANY. headcanons about!! families?? outside of the party??

if not, relationships with food / cooking :]

Mira's family dynamics I talked about recently! Only child, lots of pressure to be her parents' perfect coddled baby, they loved her but couldn't love her bc they never gave her space to be herself. Let's say she has a mom and a dad, both trans. I think her parents struggled with infertility and had a previous late-term miscarriage — lots of time to desperately plan out their perfect family, and not much hope of a second child on whom to pin any of those dreams. They're so sad that she's not really in contact with them anymore, but they don't push it because they know they did something wrong, even if they don't quite get what they should've done instead.

Mira tried her best to go along with their plans and act properly as a child, but withdrew more and more as a teenager, then left at age 16. She didn't run away, and technically her parents gave their blessing, but they had a huge fight about it which had never really happened before. Sometimes Mira considers reaching out, but she feels too guilty about making her dad cry like that, and then upset that she feels guilty, etc. Easier to stay strangers.

-

Isabeau we know has a huge family! I think he has three older siblings and two younger (which means he has no older child responsibility, but also no younger child attention). Let's make them up real quick! But only with initials, I can't pull out names that fast.

31 - F - rebellious, angrily resists getting parentified 30 - J - overly kind, helps raise the younger kids, stressed 27 - M - neat freak, lots of hobbies/activities 24 - Isa - quiet, allergic to bothering anyone 23 - D - very sensitive both emotionally and sensorily 21 - L - fussy baby to loud and rambunctious child

The combination of D and L was very difficult! L knocks over D's tower, D starts wailing, L starts screaming, D cries so hard they throw up, etc. Also L's favorite activity from age 2-4 was escaping the house and exploring by herself! And that's why she was the last kid.

Let's say, two moms. Decent people, and good parents for the older couple kids at first, they love kids and looove babies! But they're a bit impulsive, and very stubborn, and really started to struggle with the last two kids. They still did a pretty good job with the most urgent issues, but they just didn't have time or energy for anything that wasn't an urgent issue.

Isabeau's parents often praised him for being so easy — you never cause trouble, you take care of yourself, you're so responsible! So he never went to them when he did maybe need help. Got good at teaching himself skills and repressing difficult emotions and not taking up space. Didn't protest chores, or other people not doing their chores. Didn't invite friends over. Didn't complain. Oh, Isabeau, so self-sufficient you hardly know he's there!

He got really good at reading a room! He's seen many a tantrum and argument, and quietly learned which resolution methods worked better or worse and even usually reasoned out why. He just... never did anything with that knowledge, because stepping in to mediate involves stepping in and becoming part of that conflict. Scary! And it's not like any of his siblings would listen to him, anyway, they barely remember he exists.

For the first half of his childhood, one of his mom's siblings lived with them too, along with their two kids. The cousins were nice enough, but 2 and 5 years older than F, and kinda fed up with all the young children pestering them. Though, out of everyone Isa was the favorite of the younger of the two, because he wasn't annoying and made a useful sounding board for her schoolwork. Isa got to learn about advanced topics and sometimes receive cool trinkets! Still not a super strong relationship, but he was devastated when she reached adulthood and moved out.

-

We know Odile's mom left when she was very young, I'm gonna say 1.5 years. She got past the baby period and went fuck, it's not getting easier? It's just getting different kinds of difficult? It's going to be difficult for the next 16.5 years??? And skedaddled. Odile's dad had also been ready for things to settle back into normalcy now that the baby was sleeping through the night and eating normal food, and was absolutely blindsided by his partner leaving. He got extremely depressed and relied a lot on community support to help care for Odile for the next little while.

Once Odile was walking and talking like a person, he was able to pull himself together and be there for her, and loved her so ferociously. But sometimes her laugh or something would remind him too much of her mom and he would kinda check out for the rest of the day. He hated thinking about his ex and then he'd start to hate her and then get so, so sad. Maybe even hate Odile for a moment and get even sadder. Why can't he just be content? Odile's the only light in his life, she's what makes everything worth it, why does he still wish he had her mom back instead?

Pobody's nerfect though and he did pretty well! Odile was a fairly cranky toddler because she just couldn't do all of the things that she so desperately wanted to be able to do (also trauma), but once she got past those first 5 years of constant developmental leaps, she mellowed out a lot. So she didn't mind hanging out and coloring or reading a book by herself while her dad was "taking a nap" (staring at the ceiling fighting his inner demons). And she love love loved all the things he did with her, reading and gardening and especially shopping — she got to write the grocery list and count out the money and everything! She got cranky-frustrated again as a teen, on top of increasingly complex feelings about her mom and realizing her dad is depressed as fuck, but they had a strong enough bond to make it through that phase okay.

At some point in her 20s Odile made him go to therapy! It helped, and so did anti-depressants. He even started dating again eventually and now has a nice husband, who Odile was quite wary of at first and generally not interested in getting to know. She's glad her dad is happier now, though! I think he's still alive during ISAT, but getting fairly old since he and his wife were a bit on the older side when Odile was born.

-

Bonnie is 11 years old during canon and Pétronille is 20; she ran away from home when Bonnie was 4 and she was freshly 14. She saw that their parents were starting to treat Bonnie the way they treated her, now that they were a full kid instead of a useless toddler, and she got them the fuck out of there!

(cw for the next paragraph: abusive parents, person who is both abusive and mentally ill and abused)

Nille is bipolar with psychotic symptoms, and I've been going back and forth on this but I'm gonna say yes it runs in the family and her mom was bipolar as well. She didn't really give a shit about her kids, she had them because that's what you do! She made Nille do most of the housekeeping, and help with her schemes to turn their lives around for real this time: surely if I perfect this recipe I can open a restaurant, surely if we rearrange the furniture I'll stop hating this house, surely if I buy and wear the right necklace my partner will love me again, etc. The second baby was an attempt to fix her relationship, and while she'd thought baby Nille was cute and had enjoyed the intense new baby-mom relationship, she got sick of baby Bonnie even faster and foisted their care onto Nille. Their dad was worse! He bonded with the person he did because he knew she'd be totally reliant on him, and he had kids because he wanted more people to control. Mom sometimes tried to stand up for the kids, but always quickly gave up and withdrew more or turned on them instead.

So! Nille stole her mom's jewelry, put Bonnie in a wheelbarrow and walked as far as she could. She ended up in Bambouche. She started working for a trio who fished and ran a shop/restaurant; she prepared the fish and washed dishes and other odd jobs, and she was allowed to bring Bonnie with her. Some people offered to take the two of them in, or babysit Bonnie, but she did not trust like that. So everyone just quietly patronized that shop a little extra so the trio could afford to do things like say "oh no I bought this huge bag of the wrong kind of rice, can't just serve a different kind, but I don't want it, guess I'll throw it away unless you could use it..?"

Eventually she started trusting her neighbors enough to directly accept leftovers and hand-me-downs, let Bonnie play at their houses, etc. Right in time for her bipolar disorder to really hit! She tried so hard to keep forcing herself through the motions for Bonnie, but one day she went into work manically ranting about how she was going to destroy Bonnie's life just like her parents did hers and her bosses were like woah there! They closed shop for the day to focus on checking on Bonnie and making sure they had babysitting arranged, finding Nille a therapist, and reassuring Nille that Bonnie was safe, and everyone will help make sure that Bonnie stays safe, and she can get help too so she can keep being a great gaurdian.

By pre-canon she is on anti-psychotics and mood stabilizers and knows a fuckton of coping mechanisms! She fishes now and sells her catches herself, and while she works Bonnie goes to school and runs around the village with the other kids and pesters travelers for stories and whatnot.

-

I don't have super solid headcanons for Siffrin's family yet because it makes me soo sad to imagine their family missing them or not-missing them or obliterated. So I'm trying to let myself just leave it open so I can practice the skill of "deciding on worldbuilding facts as they become relevant to your story instead of typing out an entire bible first". But let's say he had three parents and two siblings, which is pretty standard for the island, and lots of cousins and family friends. Someone or other is holding a huge cookout at least twice a week, and, and Siffrin was a really kind-but-mischievious older sibling and, bwahhhh 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

He sailed off for a couple hours at age 15 because his baba's super strict about everyone trying a bite of every food every time, yes even if you're sure you hate it it's important to be a good example for the younger kids and who knows maybe you'll like it this time! So Siffrin ran off to prove that he was basically an adult and not actually beholden to their rules, and they should appreciate his presence and take him seriously instead of treating him like a clueless baby.

:(

[jentasticart]

ok but I'm actually starting to get pissed off and annoyed with this weird family dynamic stuff they're doing in mk1 just to try to stop the gay ships that's been around for a while now.

like subscorp (Kuai x Hanzo), bitomas, subsmoke (Kuai x Tomas. I'm not too much of a fan of this ship but I'll mention it anyway) and shaoko, idk if there's anything else but lmk if I missed anything I guess.

but Imma mainly talk about my main ship here; bitomas.

I would like to add that I'm not a proshipper in any way cus fuck that shit. so don't frame me as one.

this is the only recent game where they're both in it together but they make them step bros yet I've seen people make mk1 subscorp and no one is really complaining about it and it gets a bunch of likes, which is WORSE than mk1 bitomas because it's ACTUAL incest. mk1 bitomas isn't incest, they're not related to each other in any way. they're not even the same race.

but yk what's not fucking fair? THAT THE SUBSMOKE SHIP IS MORE ACCEPTED THAN BITOMAS THAT THE ACTUAL VOICE ACTORS SHIP IT FFS

BI FUCKING DISMISSES IT, HE DOESN'T SEE HIM AS A DAMN BROTHER

BUT IN SUBSMOKE THEY ACTUALLY DO ADDRESS EACH OTHER AS BROTHERS, HOW CAN ONE BE ACCEPTED MORE THAN THE OTHER WHEN IT'S THE SAME DAMN THING

this is literally how I'm feeling rn about this

two people who ARE NOT related to each other in any damn way is NOT incest, doesn't matter if they grew up together or not.

so if two people were dating before and their parents got together and married, then those two people shouldn't be together anymore cus they would be step siblings? that's fucking stupid and you guys know it.

in a way they're doing the stupid thing like how some people think liulao is, yk the whole "they're cousins/brothers" but they're not, it was confirmed they're not but people don't wanna do their damn research.

all nrs cares about is the straight pairings and lesbian ones cus they don't get as much backlash as two men being together.

===.._ _..===.._ _..===

so I got a little hc/story for y'all:

sometime after the brothers' dad takes Tomas in, Tomas falls for Bi and his whole idolization for Bi is a coverup to try to hide his crush on him from Bi and Kuai. yes he gets close with Kuai as in best friends but he feels this is something he should keep to himself for now.

Bi wasn't actually always mean to Tomas, at some points he might have been cold to him sometimes but that's just Bi, just cus he was cold to him, doesn't mean he didn't care for him.

but then at some point Bi-Han fell for Tomas, probably starting in his teen years, but since he didn't know how to express it or deal with it, he acts how he acts towards him like how he does in mk1. it's because he never felt this way before towards anyone, let alone a guy. so he pretty much acts kinda like a tsundere in a way. keep in mind, even before this, Bi still didn't see Tomas as his brother and Tomas obviously didn't see him that way either cus of his crush on him.

all those years their feelings for each other got stronger and stronger, which made Bi more cold to Tomas, which was the time he told him that line in that one scene in mk1 about him not being brothers or Lin Kuei.

but after the betrayal of Bi-Han, while Kuai and Tomas were making the Shirai Ryu, Tomas snuck back to the Lin Kuei at night to see Bi-Han.

they fought because Bi started it, he did think Tomas was there to kill him or was there for some revenge but all Tomas wanted to do was talk. after the fight, Tomas managed to get Bi to stop.

they talked for awhile, Tomas asking the question as to why Bi-Han did all of this in the first place, why he was cold to him, why he got so much colder after all the years. Bi was hesitant to tell him, especially now since he thinks its too late to let him know the truth, he probably ruined all chances he had with him now.

but he did tell him anyway, he told him the truth, everything. from the very beginning to now. Tomas wasn't expecting this, he didn't think Bi felt the same way towards him but was he really telling the truth about the other stuff?

Bi-Han backed away after he told him, he understood that he might not believe his words anymore. Tomas stayed silent on Bi's bed, thinking, before he spoke and told him that he should tell Kuai this truth even if Kuai might not believe it.

he paused for a moment before he spoke, agreeing with Tomas. he then called him to Bi's bed, Bi was hesitant because he wasn't sure of it, he didn't know if he should.

after a few minutes, Bi joined him in bed and Tomas held him, confessing his love to him too, even after everything, he still has the same love for him like the first time he fell for him.

they wind up being together in secret for months as Tomas helped Kuai with the clan. during that time, Bi did told the truth to Kuai too and apologized for it. Kuai is a bit hesitant to forgive him right now but he will consider it. he will still work on his own clan as it still feels like the right thing to do.

===.._ _..===.._ _..===

so ye if you don't like it, plz just block me, cus Imma ship them since others are shipping mk1 subsmoke with little problems, I'm starting to not care at this point because of it but I will put tags you can block in those posts to not see it

[kissbentennyson]

Hello there, how do you do? ＼⁠(⁠^⁠o⁠^⁠)⁠／

I recently found your blog and got to say I was so excited to explore it, hehe! Nowadays it's hard to find some Ben 10 account so I was really happy when I come across yours.

Anyways though I wanted to request but since I got no idea for now I think might interact with you since you sound like any interactive person (⁠ㆁ⁠ω⁠ㆁ⁠)

Yk what made you write for Ben 10 fandom since you know not many fall in love with their childhood interest later in life. Honestly I get into Ben 10 again when few days earlier my cousin was watching Ben 10 online and I end up watching one episode with him too and thus my old love for series and character rise again 🐀

Would like to see your answer. Anyways have a wonderful day ahead and don't forget to eat your meal. Byeeee!

Hi! I am so sorry it took me so long to see this! I have no idea how long this has been sitting in my ask box, I'm not active on this blog anymore. I was unaware that it's still getting just as much attention as it did when I was in high school. Just a warning, this is a very long response.

To answer your question, It's not that I fell in love with it later in life, but that I never stopped loving it.

I am autistic, and have had the same handful of interests since I was younger. Ben 10, Transformers, DC, Marvel, Devil May Cry, to name a few. Most of my interests were influenced by the people I grew up around. like my abusers. I also have a biological who is only two years younger than me. The two of us have always had the most of the same interests our entire life, but my interest in these things was always more intense than his. To the point my bio family found it annoying.

For context, we didn't know I was autistic growing up. We didn't have health insurance for most of my developmental years. It took being taken into foster care for my most of my health- mental and physical- to be cared about, addressed, and treated. It also doesn't help that my cousin (son of a very close family friend) is also autistic and we have different care needs. Because I didn't present exactly like him, my behavior was ignored. Written off as me being quirky, whiney, needy, annoying, antisocial, and stupid/ditsy.

Having the same interests as your younger brother is a doubled edged sword. On one hand, you always have someone to talk to. On the other, despite being more into something than him my interest wasn't taken seriously (because I am AFAB) and he was always got the toys and books (that he would never even read) about said interests. I always had to sit and watch as he got to enjoy things about our shared interest- and I was always left out.

I remember when my grandmother got him an Omnitrix toy that came with these tiny plastic figures of all of the aliens, and when you placed it on the Omnitrix, the toy would say the alien's name. I was so jealous, I wanted that toy so badly. But, siblings being siblings, if my brother found me playing with it he would throw a fit and get me in trouble. This caused me a lot of stress and anxiety growing up. Not just because It was invalidating, but also because I was being denied access to my special interest in a way.

However, there is one thing that my brother and I don't share. I love to read and write. To the point it was an actual problem when I was growing up. I would stay up on our bunk bed, reading and writing for so long that I would miss meals entirely. But, It was something they could never take away from me for force me to share with my brother. I have been writing about my special interests since I was in the 6th grade. Of course, my mother threw away most of it, and its all in notebooks rotting in some landfill now.

When I was 16, I made this blog and started posting reader insert fanfiction here- which I had already done for another fandom once before (@honeydew-mel0n). Actually, I was posting on both blogs at the same time! Before that, I had a Wattpad that I posted on (Still do, actually, haha.) I stopped posting on this blog after I graduated high school as I had collage classes to focus on, and eventually a job.

I no longer post here, not because it's no longer a special interest, but because I'm going to be 20 soon. I don't feel it's appropriate for me, as an adult, to continue to write such content about characters that are minors. It now makes me uncomfortable to do so. However, I am going to keep the blog up because many people like it and continue to read it. I'd never want to take that away from anyone. I do have a bunch of old drafts saved that I might post, but only if people would want to read my unfinished drafts. There is also a part of me that wants to keep exploring the Benzarro plot I was writing- but I probably won't

I hope this makes sense, thank you for asking!

-Sunshine

[cowboyjen68]

Hi Jen, please forgive me if this sounds deranged. I understand if you don't reply, but I don't know any older women like me to go to for advice. Also, please disregard this if i forget to press anon (paranoid lol)

I never thought I wanted kids, my fiancé says she doesn't (sometimes she says things that make me think otherwise, but im going to say she doesn't because I have to take her at her word)

The thing is that recently it's been more and more in my head. Im in my early 30s so I don't know if it's a biological clock thing, I know I should say it to her but im not sure if I should either because I don't want to cause problems in our relationship, but also I don't even know if I understand how I feel about it (this is made worse by the fact that, while we live in the same city, we have temporarily had to live apart for financial reasons while saving for a mortgage)

The thing is, I feel like I'm starting to really want kids, which I know I should say to her

But

I feel like I only want kids with her if that makes sense? If I was with anyone else, I wouldn't want to

I'm not even sure if I actually want kids at all. It's more like (sorry if this is gross or anything). i have this increasing... need for want of a better word? To have with her what straight people have, I wish I could get pregnant by her somehow, I wish I could make a person who is made of me and of her, this makes me feel guilty and pained and confused (just to clarify this is not sexual confusion, I am and have always been exclusively same-sex attracted) I guess I just am at the point where I love her so much that I want something that I can't have, im not sure whether I actually want kids or whether it's some hormonal thing but (I know this sounds weird) i3 guess I wish I could express our love in that way? But I'm kind of in my feelings and confused about it, I dont know where to start or whether to tell her or what I would even say to her about it. Also most of my friends are either younger (wouldn't get it) or straight (and it would be humiliating to me to go to them over something that they could do without a second thought)

Anyway, i thought I'd come here because I know you have a lot more experience than me, and i was wondering what you would do in my position

I am one of those moms who never wanted kids. I am a realist and understood from a pretty young age that kids are a pain in the ass. They are expensive, a lifelong commitment, noisy, unpredictable and invasive. I was raised around nephews and nieces and younger cousins .I saw women my age get pregnant in high school. I grew up in the 80’s where half the “After School Specials” were about the hardships of teen pregnancy and a fair amount of books for teen girls and sitcoms aimed at my demographic featured young women having and raising unplanned kids. I very clearly saw the writing on the wall and wanted NO part of it. I wanted MY LIFE to be mine. 

     I have 5 kids all adopted from foster care and the truth is I didn’t want ANY Of them. I stated in my dating profile that kids were a deal breaker. I communicated over the course of my second relationship that kids were of negative interest to me and my life. My mind never changed and in all truth I just got tired of saying no and we became foster parents. MY ex loved the “IDEA” of being a parent but not the actual work. I understood this about her which was one reason I pushed back for years before giving in and agreeing. I know, based on my parents and my siblings I would be a decent mom, I just didn’t want to be. My kids are all grown except my 17 year old. They are 25, 25, 26 and 23. I have a pretty good relationship with them. My oldest daughter has a daughter who is 21 months. I am not a wonderful grandma. I work all the time and we live hours apart. I am focused on my life and home and future because for a 17 year marriage I neglected it. My kids all know I was a reluctant parent because we have a very open and honest relationship.

      Parenting with my ex was horrible. I worked two jobs, budgeted, did the majority of the homework, bedtime ritual, morning prep and house work and I spent years being exhausted. I partially stayed with her because until the final adoption we could not legally be married so I had NO legal right to the older 4 and was not about to abandon them to my wife. 

      I am telling you this background so you understand that I have a unique and possibly skewed perspective about parenting as a lesbian. It is totally normal to be unsure about wanting kids. I would say most straight people also go back and forth between the emotional idea of having kids as an extension of love and of a good use of their compatibility and partnership, to have and raise a happy, healthy child (ren) AND knowing the stress of money, unpredictable times, and the fact that, no matter how great parents are , kids are people and they very quickly for their own idea, personalities and who KNOWS what can happen given those facts. The difference is just that lesbians can’t accidentally become parents so we have to either overcome the fear and want the kids more than we don’t OR stay childless. Many great parents did not get there with careful planning, just one day they are thrust into the role and step up to the task. 

     My advice is to keep talking to your partner about your thoughts." I think I might want kids” is not the same and “WE MUST have kids or I won’t be happy”. Communicate your confusion and insecurities about it and also the good things you see about becoming parents.  I highly suggest volunteering for Big Brother Big Sisters, or even getting a foster care respite license. When you do respite you are essentially babysitting kids so adoptive and foster parents can get a break. These kids can be everything from charming and sweet to struggling with mental illness and trauma (which is why it requires training).. You can get a lot of fulfillment, experience and learning moments plus you are giving exhausted caretakers a break. Offer to babysit a friend's kids. See if the local Girl Scout needs volunteers, A lot of nature centers run kids summer programs or weekend programs like birthday parties and always need volunteers. Consider taking some childhood or first time parent classes. All of this is to give you a well rounded perspective of how kids can be, which is sometimes awful but very often wonderful and sweet and even when they are misbehaving you can feel joy in watching these tiny people learn and grow. 

You are correct about the idea of biological children vs adoption. They are not the same. I know a lot of people want to believe that they are exactly the same connection and bond but in my experience that is a lie people often tell themselves.  The fact is, parenting a child that is not biological does take a little more effort to bond and connect. Eventually it strengthens and can be wonderful but it is unique. Not better or worse, just different. My kids were all older, 4, 7, 8, 10, and 16 when they came into my life so they were already established in personality and habits and world view so it took time to align with each other. We are now all more like friends than a parent/child relationship but perhaps that just happens with age and maturity.  Adoption is by far cheaper with more available resources (through foster care) than using a sperm bank or asking a friend to donate so one of you can be pregnant but each couple needs to weigh what works for them. 

     I would suggest putting off major discussions until you can see each other but if not, do it over zoom or facetime so you can see each other’s expressions and have a nuanced conversation. I would not make any major purchases like a house until you are settled a bit and you both are at least on the same page with kids. That page might be neither of you are sure yet or that you both think it should wait until life is less up in the air to decide together. If you land solidly in the “i must have kids” camp and she says “NO”, you might have your answer. Then you must decide between letting go of the need for kids or moving on from the relationship. The worst thing you can do is push someone who is expressing that they don’t want kids into having kids. This is a bad deal. 

I know this is a lot. Kids are a big deal to both the relationship and to the kids who are brought into that relationship, no matter now that happens. I wish you the best and I hope, together, you can talk it out and get some clarity.

[t1oui]

having a hard time working on i slam the door and i'm on my way rn because i actually dislike writing angst lol. not going to stop updating ofc but updates will be sporattic like i said, even if the first few chapters had a weekly update schedule (i updated pretty much every weekend)

anyways, i thought i'd do quick intros to all the fics i have in the works (+ a re intro to istdaiomw for anyone who doesn't know what it is)

teen and up | no archive warnings apply | multiple relationships | incomplete a jegulus-centered fic with background sirius x remus and lily x evan x barty. might (probably will) also have dorlene.

takes place during the war and follows multiple povs (so far james, regulus, and - soon - evan). basically just a what-if if regulus ran away from his family and joined james & sirius at the potters'.

you can find this fic here!

teen and up | no archive warnings apply | multiple relationships | not yet published (or written 💀)

the next wip on this list is troublemakers, which is something i've had in the back of my mind for a while now. originally it centered around lily, rose, and my oc lucy, but i recently i decided to change it so the two povs are lucy and albus's.

basically, it follows (or will follow) albus, the only slytherin in his immediate family, who feels overshadowed by his famous siblings and his friends, who two of which have just become prefects. the fic will show him reconnecting with his family and basically carving out a niche for himself (and will have scorbus)

it will also follow my oc, lucy weasley-wood. she often feels like the laughingstock of her family - like albus, overshadowed by her friends and cousins: confident lily and smart rose. this fic will show her also carving out a niche for herself and might have some romance between her and another oc of mine, a deamus child named henry :)

basically just a dual pov fic about two cousins finding themselves

teen and up | character death | multiple relationships | also unpublished & not yet written

a place called home is the name of the series rewrite i'm currently plotting and i love it sm honestly lol

this rewrite would be very headcanony and would be harry's pov. basically, in this world harry was adopted and raised by the lovegood family and is the older brother of luna. also, pandora doesn't die. xenophilius is lucius malfoy's disowned older brother so luna, harry, and draco are cousins.

the main crew in this fic would be harry, hermione, blaise, and pansy with quite a bit of draco and some luna. harry, pansy, and draco are slytherins while hermione, blaise, and luna are ravenclaws. (this fic will/would have pretty heavy ron bashing for most of it but he gets a redemption arc i promise ;-; not like we really get to see it but yknow i tried)

the focus of this fic is friendship, so no one in the main crew is dating, but the endgame ships are harry x cedric, hermione x cho, and draco x blaise. pansy... she's just there. oh yeah and nuna

there's also background percy x oliver, dean x seamus, lavender x parvati, and sirius x remus. would also have a shorter side story following percy and his friends which i'll talk about next

mature | graphic depictions of violence | m/m | not published or written

so this story was originally made as a story to accompany a place called home, but it could (and might) be published by itself. it follows the story of a slytherin percy weasley through his years at hogwarts & during the war alongside his best friends penelope clearwater, oliver wood, and marcus flint. it would show percy's side of a place called home.

though this fic originally started as purely funny "haha percy and his friends are trying to keep harry alive at school" i honestly think it will be one of if not the darkest of these wips lol. sure there will also be violence in apch and istdaiomw but this is the only fic with super graphic descriptions of any violence bc percy... let's just say bro goes through some stuff.

the title is the name of a spell made by percy that is pretty important both in this fic and in a place called home :) i won't say what it's for but it mixes two latin words meaning show/reveal and secret.

~

so yeah, this is a basic idea of the bigger things i have in the works right now. as for things on the smaller side, i'm actively working on developing a sequel to my oneshot if you stayed as well as working on an evan pov muggle au with rosekiller & jegulus. might post more on those later :)

[fatimaah]

76

Good thing I don't keep a vlog or whatever and I don't have followers waiting to read my journal pages cuz sometimes there are those 3-4 week blanks in here....not only in here, but in my life too.

...or maybe those aren't blanks, just things I don't want to write about.

But today, as I'm supposed to sleep but can't (cuz I slept the whole day without pAreNtAl cOntRol), I finally got this burst of motivation to document my life. My thoughts (and fEeliNgS)

*every time I write in ThOse lEtTerS, know that I'm rolling my eyes*

Such a familiar feeling. The one I get every summer. "routine boredom". When I'm tired of my room, tired of talking and seeing people I see everyday during summer (aka my parents and siblings) and when I'm just tired of things being so SAME .

This summer wasn't really three month passing the same. Every month of this summer something happened. Either with my relationship with my parents, either with my dad, either with someone else and all those changes ....they weren't so positive. I felt miserable. I don't feel miserable now but....I still remember that fear and sadness.

Recently everyone has been so busy around me. My friends, family, relatives. Someone got a new family member born ( aka my aunt, we're going to her house tomorrow to see the BABYYY ! awww I love babies), someone (aka my other aunt) came to visit their relatives from Uzbekistan (aka us), someone (my other other aunt) found out their son is a fucking asshole who stole almost all of my dad's money and got got his whole family deep in shit and left.

I try not to make it obvious but...I hear what my parents talk about. I hear when they talk at night, I understand when they give each other different hints. I know that our family situation isn't at its best because of that asshole. I don't know why they never ask for help. Why they don't ask my brothers to finally get a job. They pretend that it's all perfect and everything. They say some things like oh yeah our family isn't as rich as it used to be so be more wise when you decide to buy something. But they don't tell us anything. They could let me help.

a few days ago on all emotions and anger I started yelling at my mom. It happened suddenly. When she wanted to ground me for staying at my cousin's house for 30 more minutes. When she told me I can't hang out with my friends for the whole summer. I got so angry. I told her so many terrible things. Told her I don't see any love coming from you, you are too protective and you never trust me or my friends. You think I'm too childish yet you treat me like an adult when it comes to chores. You are like an example of a mom I never want to be....and then at the end I even told her you're so bad you make me feel like I don't belong to this family and all this hysteria I'm having is your fault cuz you failed as a mother

I wanted to hurt her. And I know it's super wrong. It doesn't matter who was right in that argument. Wanting to make your mom's heart ache and wanting her to cry and to feel guilty is not what I should have been wanting. That's not what nice daughters want. I felt like I was right at first. But I really hurt her. Sometimes I forget my mom has feeling because she's so straight to the point and so serious just like my twin brother. Ugh, and I hate it. I hate talking to both of them.

My dad told me...your mom is hurt and sad. She cries a lot and she feels terrible. She's been depressed but now she's even more miserable.

Hurting her didn't really make it for me. Knowing she cried a lot because of me didn't fix a thing. It only made me feel like I am a terrible daughter with super complicated mom. It made me feel like I.... I don't know if it's right to say but it made me feel like I was kinda turning into her. And I hated this feeling.

I want to be a nice person who cares about other people and other people's feelings. But sometimes....but often times I can't force myself to give a shit about their feeling. It's wrong. It's wrong and I know it....and still..I kinda don't care.

I don't know why I'm writing all of it but my point is, no matter how hard I pretend to be a nice good caring daughter ...sometimes I break the character and I only really feel like myself when I'm mad at everyone. When I'm hurting someone's feelings because they hurt MY feelings .

I kinda hate myself. I don't like me. Especially after I hurt her like it. When I said sorry she started crying and she couldn't stop.

She asked me " do we REALLY make you feel that oppressed? Are we actually really bad parents? Is that what you think about me? That I don't love you?"

And I don't know, mom. I don't wanna know if you love me. I know the answer. I really thought about it and I think you do love me. But I still keep feeling like you don't. I am not making sense. I forgot how to write a journal in the way it makes sense. I want to run away.

Eventually we sorted things out. She's been weirdly nice after than. And I stayed weirdly the same after that.

I wonder what she thinks of me. Does she think I was right or does she think I was just making a scene and I just have "victim mentality"?

Why do we need to feel things. I wish feelings weren't real. I wish all I could feel was love.

But I feel hate and annoyment much more than I feel love. I can't say I love my mom. But I care about her feeling more than I care about other people's feelings.

I love her.

And I want her to love me to

And she already does.

And I didn't write about anything going on in my life but somehow writing about my mom made me feel like an Azula copycat hahaah

No..it actually made me feel better.

I should sleep now. this journal keeping motivation comes so randomly maaan..

August 15th, 2024

[bigfeelingstiedtongue]

i don't drink a lot. only on special occasions with friends. i drink for a good time, not to deal with bad times. i never take it up as a coping mechanism because it's slippery slope i'm not willing to risk falling into.

but sometimes it gets really tempting.

it's always so disappointing looking at them and seeing the kind, amazing people they could have been. they constantly say that we can be whatever we want and not to compare ourselves to other people but to who we were in the past, yet they constantly say things that contradict that so badly. and i know its a generational thing because i've always heard the same from my grandparents, and i absolutely despise it.

i recently found out that one of my younger cousins from my father's side basically made it his goal to outdo me academically (consistent honors student that makes it seem effortless, ig) because our grandmother kept comparing us. i hate that for him, and i hate it because i know my brothers feel the same way even if they would never say it. when things get really rough, i hear the bitterness in their tones when they speak of me and the constant criticisms. i try my best to comfort them, but i'm probably the last person they want to speak to when in those moods.

i never wanted to be the standard. i nearly broke under the pressure of having to be the pristine first grandchild who could do no wrong (no vices, great grades, rarely complaining, etc.). in my head, if i kept it up, all the attention and they would be free of the pressure that has haunted me. i was wrong and i ended up as another tool in this cycle of generational trauma, and i absolutely hate that.

my mother may not know it, but she does make me feel like an investment to an extent. she uses herself and her siblings as an example of constantly helping each other financially, but she doesn't see what we see as the next generation.

we see how our grandmother disregards our aunt's feelings to the point our uncle has to step up.

we see how while they do help their eldest with financial problems, they hold it against him sometimes.

we see how one of my grandmother's brothers is such a deadbeat that he relies on his sisters for most of his financial needs because he decided to have more than 5 children with multiple different women without having financial stability. and we see his youngest growing up to be exactly like him

we see how they want to appease family so bad that they'll do nearly everything for approval. at one point, my grandmother let some extended family sleep in her room for a night and she got expensive jewelry stolen, but she didn't know who stole it so she let it slide.

we see how until now, they're so afraid to disappoint family that they're willing to compromise their own desires and boundaries.

i don't want that for us. am i wrong for thinking that? am i wrong for not being willing to disrespect myself for other people?

at some point you just get used to that emptiness that you don't even notice it anymore. i can acknowledge to some degree that i need some help but i've been doing fine so far so why bother, right? i'm coping just fine, so until i can no longer cope, i'll keep going as i always have.

i like to think i'm in a better place now, though.

[precious-little-scoundrel]

The divorce fic and recent Daisy blurb made me want to know about the youngest Presley’s - Danny and Shiloh. As opposed to five kids in the house and a constant pregnant Elaine it’s just them and their parents (albeit constant visits from their older siblings and cousins I’m sure) so can we pls know more about them? Their relationship with their parents/siblings/the media and they get a healthy, happy Dad who would never deny their momma anything. I imagine the funniest arguments between Shiloh and Danny because they’ve only got each other to pick on. Is that also why Elaine and Elvis would lovingly ‘adopt’ Shiloh’s best friend as well before (I think) Danny marries her? Just more kids in the house! I come from a large family too haha

Aaaah I’m so glad you’ve enjoyed that and it thrills me y’all have an interest in the later dates as that’s so far fetched and sadly so beyond the time we had with him but i too love imagining him into the 80’s and 90’s. I really have none of this written yet, Danny and Shiloh eta, neither their interactions or dynamics and such but thank you for letting me know you’re interest, I shall see what I can cook up.

Xoxo

[caitybobo]

I've decided that i'm going to start writing here more. I like to journal and I always have. I forgot that when I was 13/14 years old I would get home and immediately log into my journal. I had entries from 2003 on there.

Anyway, I was telling my friend Amanda about how much Taylor means to me, and it was really getting into all of the things. Masking, AuDHD, mental illness, relationships, loss, etc.

So one of the first things I told her about was when Midnights came out and what was going on in my life in October 2022 when it was released.

October 2022... I will set the stage. Provide some needed context.

My partner and I got married in July of 2022, and we were going on our Honeymoon in November 2022.

At our wedding in July, my mom (the alcoholic who raised me), just absolutely acted in true BPD fashion and made her emotions known and did not speak to me, my partner, or my daughter for the entire day. Then she left the hotel the next morning without saying good-bye and didn't text me again until September (my sister's bday actually) and told me that she was TRIGGERED so that's why she acted that way and actually her AND her doctor agree that *I* owe her an apology for the way I treated her.

Needless to say, near my 2nd wedding anniversary, I have not seen my mother since my wedding day. We are estranged. She is dead to me. And I do not say that lightly. The most recent contact she made was the week after Mother's day this year. Emailing me about my sibling's (who I have been supporting emotionally, financially, etc since October 2023) student loan payment. And how she "gots no money" to pay for it. I pre-emptively blocked her cell phone number. There is truly NOTHING she could do short of heal from a lifetime of trauma, and do some serious self-reflection and apologizing tour for me to want to speak to her again.

How does this relate to Taylor Swift? Well, in October 2022, I was in a new job with an amazing and supportive manager who I was honest with about my estrangement and was incredibly kind to me as I navigated that (he also knew my mother). I was enjoying my new job, however things at home were not going well. Looking back now my partner was being incredibly abusive (emotionally) and I was enabling it by being co-dependent and we would get into hours long arguments. I was honestly struggling but I didn't even know it.

October 21, 2022 Midnights is released. I liked Taylor Swift, but I wasn't even aware a new album was coming out before it was released. I woke up and Spotify suggested it to me. I didn't realize this album was going to save me over and over again.

The entire album was everything to me at the time. When I listened to it a few months into my marriage to a partner who wasn't treating me right, I was like, how is this not a break up album? lol.

October 21, 2022 I began listening exclusively to the tracklist of Midnights (3am Edition). From the morning October 21 until Wednesday, October 26th I had listened to the album for about 12 hours per day. Wednesday, October 26th was the day I found out my cousin, Jennifer had died. She died by suicide, and left behind her two small kids and her husband. Jennifer was my mom's sister's kid. She was also estranged from her mom (my aunt). I wanted so badly to go back in time. To reach out to her. I knew she was struggling, but I never knew how much. Fuck. I haven't grieved Jennifer.

Back to Midnights. This album was so sad. So fuckn sad man. Or was I sad? lololllll. Or both?

The song, Mastermind, hit me in the feels. As an AuDHD person, I didn't realize how much of my plotting & planning is "abnormal" or "crazy". But I related to the lyrics of mastermind. And from the release of Midnights, until the release of 1989 (Taylor's Version), I only listened to Midnights. I did listen to All Too Well (Ten Minute Version) (Taylor's Version) (From the Vault) 48 times in one month. But other than that it was Midnights.

I remember thinking the song Mastermind reminded me of Jennifer, too. When I read back on our old conversations I was like, omgggggggggg we are twins. I needed her more than I realize. But what had me bursting into tears was the bridge

"No one wanted to play with me as a little kid

so I've been scheming like a criminal ever since

to make them love me and make it seem effortless

this is the first time I've felt the need to confess

and I swear

I'm only cryptic and Machiavellian

'cause I care"

When I heard it I sobbed. Jennifer and I were both AuDHD I know this now. We both masked so fucking hard. It's not your fault and I forgive you.

I love you and miss you Jenny.

And thank you @taylorswift for saving my life in October 2022.

[sorenrobertson]

INTRODUCING…Soren Robertson.

STATS:

Nicknames: N/A. She likes her name.

Character Age:  28

Neighborhood: South Hills

Occupation: Recently graduated Lawyer

Sexuality: Heterosexual

Birthday: December 25th, 1995

Faceclaim: Zendaya Coleman

Hometown: Wilmington, NC

Years of Residence: She lived here until she was 23 and is just now moving back to town.

Pinterest Board /

Character Inspiration: Blair Waldorf (Gossip Girl), Brooke Davis (One Tree Hill), Olivia Pope (Scandal), Monica Geller (Friends), Buffy Summers (BTVS).

tldr;

– SOREN ROBERTSON was born and raised in Wilmington, into a couple that should have divorced way before they did. When her mother left, it was just her and her father, later it was mostly just her. It was easier to ignore the emptiness than to deal with it. After dealing with some bad company, Soren turned her life around in high school and became everything she wanted to be, she also found love in her best friend, Jayden. But when Jayden disappeared the night before graduation, a heartbroken Soren fell into her school work and volunteering for a political campaign that she believed in. At 23, she packed up her life and moved to Tennesse to attend Vanderbilt Law School. After graduating Vanderbilt and with the excuse of being there for her mentor as he was now the mayor of Wilmington, Soren decided to return back home.

READ BELOW for fun facts, biography, possible connections.

random facts

Although very goal oriented, Soren loves to help people. You will see her volunteering all around town on her days off.

A cheerleader in high school, she loves working out and plays volleyball at the beach every weekend

Does not go anywhere without her Yeti water bottle

Is incredibly meticulous about her music playlists, they're all curated and have to be perfect

A tall girl tm

Will do anything for the aesthetic

A self-made woman that refuses to pay her student debt (lol)

She just started working as a crime lawyer, but her aspirations are very political and hopes to switch careers at some point

Can be very blunt, but will do her best to be subtle

Claims if she doesn't meal prep on Sunday and has some frozen yogurt before bedtime, her entire week will go to hell

biography

When Soren was born, her parents were already at the end of the road as a married couple, or so she’s always believed. It took ten years for them to divorce and when they did, Soren expected it. This was her father’s second marriage, so naturally, he took it harder than anyone else, but at least he stayed, which was more than what he’d done for his older kids, and more than what Soren’s mother did for her. 

When her mother left, Soren and her father found a way to deal with the empty home; having their own lives and just breezing through things without necessarily working through them. Soren found solace in her friends, her father found it in his job where he was supposed to travel for weeks sometimes.

Luckily for her, despite the empty house, Soren had people that she could lean on with her cousin Sloane, her half-siblings Lenny and Teddy and eventually her best friend, Jayden. The last one would eventually become the love of her life, but before then, he was family.

As a teen, Soren learned to do a lot by herself, but she also struggled to find a moral compass for a long time. She wasn’t really sure of who she was and had no trouble trying to find herself. The thing was that she did it with the wrong crowd; a group of rich girls that only wanted her around to throw parties at her empty house, to take blame for whatever wrong thing they did at the mall. 

When she reached high school though, Soren dropped them all together and decided to change herself completely. She went from failing most of her classes, summer school and detention for a cheerleader uniform, honor roll grades and UN model clubs. 

Weirdly enough, Soren thrived in environments where she could help other people; volunteering at the shelter, helping out at local churches, offering a place to stay for kids that needed it.

She also found out what real love is when she and her best friend realized they were irrevocably in love. For a while, Soren’s life was perfect and made sense. It didn’t matter that she’d struggled for so long, things finally made sense. 

Until the day that she woke up and Jayden wasn’t there anymore. No call, no text, no goodbye. He was gone and out of her life as if he was never there. Soren was destroyed. 

But she stayed in Wilmington, managed to get a scholarship for the university in town and worked half-time as a waitress. She refused to let heartbreak get the best of her, dated a few men but nothing serious, nothing noteworthy. If you asked her what kept her in Wilmington, it was being able to help out with Irza Ozer’s campaign, because it felt like he was the change that Wilmington needed. 

When she got offered a scholarship to attend Venderbilt’s law school, Soren knew that she needed a new start, that she had to let go of her past in a lot of ways so she moved to Tennessee at twenty-three and considered staying there. 

But when her mentor, Irza won the mayor elections in Wilmington in 2022, Soren knew she had to come back to town to celebrate his success and to see him thrive. Soren graduated from Vanderbilt a year later and since then has been coming back to town every few months to find a new place for herself and transferring to a law office in town at the same time.

Now that she is finally ready to move back into town, Soren is working at Tanner and Son’s Law and is moving into a newly-built house in South Hills, wanting to stay close to her roots and her father’s house and is ready to help out the town as much as she used to do before she moved.

possible connections

friends, childhood friends, past flings, enemies, rivals, drinking buddies, partners in crime, clients, anything you can think of that your character can fit into her life!

[crescentmusings]

☆ﾟ.*・ ◞ danny griffin / male / white / he/him ——— is that WILLIAM MIKAELSON on bourbon street ? the 24 year old TRIBRID who stay in the FRENCH QUARTER ? i heard their BIOLOGICAL PARENTS are KLAUS MIKAELSON AND CAROLINE FORBES. they are notoriously known for being LOGICAL & LOYAL but also RETICENT & IMPASSIVE. which is probably why they are considered THE TACITURN around town.  i wonder if they had their tarot cards reading, yet? either way, the cards on the table will reveal their fate soon enough // linny, 26, he/him, est

B A S I C S 

full name: william bennett mikaelson. nicknames: will, billy (only to family and close friends). gender:  cis man. pronouns:  he/him. sexuality:  pansexual. age:  24. location: the french quarter. residence:  his childhood family home. occupation:  employee at crescent city books. species: tribrid (triggered).

A P P E A R A N C E

faceclaim:  danny griffin. height:  6'1. build:  toned and muscular. eyes:  blue. hair:  blond. piercings:  none.  tattoos: none. style:  more casual. typically wears darker or neutral colors. can almost always be seen wearing a leather jacket or jean jacket of some sort. likes wearing rings, amulets and bracelets. 

P E R S O N A L I T Y

traits:  (+) loyal, logical, determined, strategic. (-) reticent, impassive, moody, unforgiving. 

M I S C E L A N E O U S

a cherished item:  a photograph of him, his parents and his siblings that was taken when he was around 10 years old. usual mood:  indifferent, nonchalant.

B A C K G R O U N D

william is the eldest mikaelson son to klaus and caroline mikaelson.

he was more of a quiet child growing up. he didn't possess the charm his father has or the extroverted qualities his mother has. he tended to stick to himself or his family. even when he attended the boarding school, he didn't make too many friends. he always thought with all the siblings and cousins he had that he didn't really need to seek companionship from outsiders.

he triggered his werewolf curse at the tender age of fifteen. despite his usually cool and complacent demeanor, he is klaus' son after all, and that added with his werewolf gene made him susceptible to emotional outbursts when pushed past his limits. what started off as a verbal altercation escalated into a physical one when the other person decided to hit william. it was at that moment that he saw black and before he knew it, the other guy smacked his head against concrete and died almost instantly. fortunately for william, there weren't any witnesses around. it was a scary experience for him, even though he knew exactly what was happening based on the stories he had been told of werewolf genes being triggered.

his vampire gene was triggered just recently - only about six or so months ago. a late night walk with one of his very few friends, a witch he met at the boarding school, led to them being ambushed by a group of hungry vampires. there were too many for him to take on with his werewolf strength, and he quickly resorted to using magic to taking them out. when the vampires realized they were dealing with two witches, they panicked and decided to just snap their necks and leave to find another meal. william woke up a few hours later, in the midst of his transformation. he was devastated that he couldn't save his friend but, unable to control the urge, he fed on them to complete his transition.

[mysticstarlightduck]

Happy STS!

Which OC has been taking over your mind recently? What excites you about them?

~ @tabswrites

Happy Storyteller Saturday! Thank you so much for the ask, @tabswrites!

Which OC has been taking over your mind recently? What excites you about them?

Cailean Telkerly from Enchanted Illusions, Ahren Ellara from Tales of Wilted Flowers, and Adaria Vytris from Realms of Loss. Lemme explain (:

CAILEAN TELKERLY -

Cailean is one of my favorite characters in that book, being the rogue with a heart of gold archetype that I really, really love in fiction! Since I've been working on his POV backstory a lot lately, I've gotten to know his history a lot better, which only made me love this character even more. I'm excited about quite a lot of things about him, from his intricate past to his personality. He is a classy and witty con man/thief who specializes in stealing from the nobility and overall big targets. To make a very long story short, he agrees to help one of the protagonists (Agatha) because he believes using this partnership will get him rich (and because they have a common enemy), but ends up really falling in love with her in the process (which complicates and screws up his "this partnership is strictly business" plan quite a lot), which leads to a very much "star-crossed lovers" situation sometimes. Plus, he is really adorable in personality, because even though he is a petty criminal, he is also a really good person deep down beneath the opportunistic exterior he carefully crafted throughout the years - and is someone very charmingly sarcastic at that. Writing the growth of his relationship with Agatha, from strangers to partners/friends to lovers, is really, really rewarding, especially given their vastly different worldviews and experiences (and how much they fall in love with each other).

AHREN ELLARA -

I really like writing about Ahren because of his complexity, and his character arc in the first book - which goes from a hesitant good character to a morally grey character, as he ends up doing the wrong things for good reasons (as he was led to believe he had no other choice). He's a really tragic character and a good example of how a chaotic environment and constant pressure can change even the most resilient of people. Ahren had everything, and in the matter of one fateful night, he lost it all. He would do anything to restore his family name and keep his cousin safe, even if it takes making not-so-great choices and morally convoluted deals. The impact of the losses he suffered and the hardships he endured turned Ahren into someone slightly bitter and paranoid, certain that everyone was "out to get him" and that he had to be ruthless before the world has the chance to be ruthless to him - having a "the world was never fair to me, why should I be?" mindset. He is a good person and tried with every fiber of his being to remain so, but eventually, it all becomes too much for him to handle alone, which defines a turning point for his character in Book 1. Overall, a very compelling POV that has taken over a lot of my mind these days!

ADARIA VYTRIS -

There's something I really like about her backstory and motivations throughout the book, they feel very specific and genuine to her. I love writing about underdog characters who beat the odds and decide to take a stand about a system that has wronged them. Adaria is also incredibly loyal and protective of her family, which is the whole reason she embarks on this journey in the first place - to save her siblings. Her relationship with them is also a huge part of why I love her backstory so much! Adaria is a very hopeful character, preferring to believe that one day the future will be brighter - and she will fight to make sure that happens. The odds were always against her - she was just another street kid from the freezing outer cities, probably destined to starve or vanish, like so many before her, but she wanted more than that world could give her, she wanted to be more. To live, not just survive. She decided to challenge her destiny, with what tools she was given and will do whatever it takes to ensure this future for herself and those she loves. Another thing I really like about her is her friendship with Kassien Vann, a knight from Sarythea tasked with protecting a weapon she sets out to steal - their relationship goes from rivals to hesitant allies and finally friends, I really like it!

[alexcnder]

&&. announcing his grace, ALEXANDER ESTERHÁZY-KOHÁRY, the thirty-one year old DUKE OF WESTERN TRANSDANUBIA. he is often confused with aaron taylor-johnson. some say that he is foolhardy & superstitious, but he is actually perceptive & resolute.

SUMMARY

slovakia’s history really starts where the treaty of trianon came in, giving way to czechoslovakia around 1918. it was the story brothers, a cain and able sort of story three generations prior that split slovakia and the czech republic to what it has become today and from that line came two more brothers, žigmund and alexander, two of many, but two that held important titles, žigmund the crown prince of slovakia and alexander the duke of western transdanubia, taken over from his mother’s former title of duchess. it wouldn’t be until later that the brother’s would utilize more than just the title she passed down, but a lineage as well, an important one, a habsburg branch.

so, what happened is after czechoslovakia’s independence the two eldest brothers basically fought and sabotaged until the only solution was to split, and so they did into what is now slovakia and czech republic. do they get along three generations later? maybe. maybe not. no, i really don’t know yet.

most were surprised that the brothers go along so well as every generation prior that hadn’t been the case, in fact, it’d almost been a curse but where one went the other seemed to follow. it was almost as if where ones talents and attributes were lacking, the other had it. so as they grew decisions were made almost always together and worked out when it had been done together. maybe being superstitious was just part of their nature but the few times they had done something without consulting the other for advice, disastrous.  

on the same note, while they made decisions together that were beneficial, they also made decisions that got them into trouble. alexander was always the ‘ act before thinking ’ one of the two, or at least, don’t think too much because it’ll be over before it happens sort of person so when alexander decided to take up the cause dear old dad had attempted to work out behind the scenes, it wasn’t long before the brothers began to get ideas of how things might have looked, might have been different with their habsburg branch on the throne in the beginning of the 20th century. how different the croÿ family might have been then. it was impulsive of course, but the idea has been planted and all it can do is grow.

and because this didn’t fit into the other parts of his about, he’s recently a retired defender for real madrid after acquiring his mother’s title for western transdanubia she passed down within the last year.

TLDR : very close to his brother, played as a defender for real madrid #5 until very recently and took over his mother’s duchy title within the year or so

CONNECTIONS

any one he can toss around a ball with , watch football , etc , etc. 

fights will be had at events , it’ll happen or has or both

exes , hookups ( bad / good )etc , he’s kinda intense so 99.9 of these are gonna stick for too long 

that one group of friends . the ones that just don’t get on and there’s a high chance something bad will happen if they ave to stay around each other too long

siblings. czech republic cousins? second cousins? something like that

[fakezircon]

Hey! Look at me, I’m a distraction! (GO MAX, ZIRCONPOST, GOGOGOGOGO)

Genuine question though, when did you start playing minecraft? What got you into the game initially?

Ooh a distraction! I'd better fully devote my attention to this!

The first time I played minecraft was on a computer in the basement of my grandmother's house on my cousin's account. It would've been a month or two before the beta 1.8 update because the version I played then did not have hunger. I just messed around a bit as it was more my cousin showing off the cool new game he found.

This got away from me so the rest is under the cut :)

Later my sister bought her own account, and while I don't think I ever played on her account I did watch her play and it made me want my own. Fun fact, the minecraft account I play on now is the very same one that my dad bought me back then, what would've been within a month of the beta 1.8 update releasing. (I know that for sure because with beta 1.8 came a slight price raise and my dad complained about the fact that mine and my brother's accounts had cost more than my sister's)

From there I played it pretty regularly although I was never really one for creative or singleplayer worlds, I would play on a LAN world with my dad and siblings all the time tho. I never got tired of vanilla but as my family did we would move on to playing big mod packs, things like FTB and Technic.

At the same time I was starting to watch a bit of mcyt although it was the early days stuff, people like sethbling and antvenom come to mind as channels I watched regularly. I got a taste for the technical side of things and shortly thereafter started teaching myself minecraft commands.

Fun fact #2: back before block ids were saved as strings they were saved as just a number and if you wanted to do anything with commands you had to know those numbers. There were lots of tables out there but after a while I started to get the hang of it on my own, I can still match a good number of blocks to their once upon a time numerical ID.

I don't know what specifically drew me to the game to start but playing it with my family certainly got me hooked and once they moved on from it the technical stuff was enough to keep me sticking around pretty much to this day. I was never much of a builder as a kid (something that is probably noticeable these days) and redstone was interesting to me only so far as seeing what others did with it. I did try my hand at redstone and was for a while the most proficient person at it I knew but I wouldn't say I ever mastered it and my skills with it are certainly rusty these days.

The thing I love most about the game now is probably the grind. I am so happy to just sit and do a repetitive completable task for hours, it's soothing. I also still like playing it with my friends and with my recent foray into Vault Hunters I am finding a love for modded minecraft that I don't think truly ever left.

[ofxcuredxsalvatores]

✧.* { ALBERTO ROSENDE & HE/HIM & CIS MALE & 22 } is that GRAY SALVATORE who’s come back from the future ? they’re DAMON AND ELENA’S ADOPTED kid, right ? i’ve heard they can be pretty ARROGANT. how typical for a SIPHONER. i guess they must rely on their SMART side shining through. rumor has it they’re trying to hide THEY HAVE BEEN HAVING PANIC ATTACKS RECENTLY, but that’s probably just noise…

STATS.

full name: gray zach salvatore

nicknames: zachy (by damon) 

age: 18

birthday: 

zodiac: 

species: siphoner

gender & pronouns: cis male & he/him

sexuality & romantic orientation: pansexual & panromantic

gray zachariah salvatore is the adopted son of elena and damon and the brother of stefanie, rosalie and jd salvatore. he is named after elena’s father and damon’s nephew zach although there was a time where he was close to being named after his uncle jeremy. Gray was found as a newborn baby and assumed to be biologically related to Elena and Damon (its going to come out.)

as a unknown siphoner, he was able to live a relatively normal life but was brought up to know of the supernatural from a young age - especially with his friends and cousins being supernatural. after a while grayson became hunted by a small group of vampires who had heard the cured humans had started a family and wanted to find out if the offspring's blood was key to curing vampirism. he was missing for almost a week as he had some blood drained, before being found by (to be plotted). however as he was really a siphoner they were unable to find what they wanted.

After this, he was sent to the salvatore school to learn about the supernatural in more depth and in order to hopefully find some insight into his abilities as a (assumed} cured human. as well as this it meant he was more protected from attacks than at mystic falls high school.  During his school years, he was often in trouble for his inability to stay still and his short temper along with random outbursts in class or at home and also had trouble sleeping - often waking up and ending up drawing or playing  in the middle of the night as a child. It was only when his behaviours became similar at home, that he was noticed and eventually after pushing for so long, Gray received a diagnosis of ADHD. He was soon started on behavioural therapy and medication. Eventually a diagnosis of a sleep disorder and obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD) and anxiety was given as he started high school.

During his later years at the salvatore boarding school, he began a friendship with an girl. Despite being a few years older than gray they struck up a connection and after they left school it developed further. Several months of dating led to them discovering they were expecting. After coming arouns to the idea, they were excited for the birth of their child. However it was short lived. During a grueling labour they discovered their child had not made it. They took it hard and it created a wedge between them. (They could either have seperated or she could have died after trying to (or possibly did) bring back their child)

being back in the past is a big adjustment for Gray and without his friends and siblings he knows he would be going crazy right now- with his adhd already in high gear and causing panic attacks.