#no judgement (said with some obvious judgement lol)

[itsanidiom]

( T n T )

[angstylittleb1tch]

The brightest star in the night sky. (Aether x creator!reader) pt. 2

Summary: Now that the traveller has made an unexpected visit in your peaceful yet boring life, what all storms will he bring?

Note: Since you guys showed so much love towards the previous part of this fic I decided to continue it (Haha I definitely did not just quit writing mid fic and was awol for months lol who said that😄😄) though I do have to say I have my conerns with how uh *cough* feral *cough* some people are towards aether like chilllllll- anyways I hope you enjoy this part aswell.

Also this is very much NOT proofread at all, I kinda just wanted the part to be out there already after depriving you guys for so long lol.

Warnings: Aether definitely has abandonment issues, borderline yandere(?) Aether, mentions of starvation, Aether being cute as fyck.

Pt 1

Previously on mean girls teyvat:

"I never told you my name."

Both Aether and Paimon looked at each other as the atmosphere took a turn for the worse. There was no humor in your voice and your face looked cold, completely contradicting your laughs and smiles earlier.

"I- Please let me expla-"

Just as Aether took a single step in your direction vines sprung at him, securing him in his place as they wrapped around him. Paimon tried to pry them off but to no avail. He looked back up towards you but all he saw was a pure black sword pointing at his throat and a dark look in your eyes.

"Who am I, to you."

Now:

Life wasn't always kind to you during your stay in teyvat. Yes, you were the first and only reincarnation of the long-forgotten creator of Teyvat and Celestia but no matter how everyone puts it, even a God has Bad days, and you were currently having one of your worst ones.

"Don't make me repeat myself traveler. I expect only the truth and I have to say, my swordsmanship skills are decent enough to behead someone so speak wisely."

Aether had never felt more angry at himself and his own stupidity right now than his entire stay on teyvat. But how could he have known that a small slip of the tongue would have made you this guarded? He knows it was his carelessness yet he also feels a little pang of disappointment in his heart for reasons unknown.

"I'll explain everything y/- I mean, You grace, please lower the sword." He manages to choke out with the vines digging into his neck and hands.

Despite your better judgement you comply because deep down you know that Aether would never even think about harming a hair on your head. Maybe it was the trust and years of exploring teyvat as Aether that made you want to listen to anything he said or maybe the fact that you grew attached to the blonde haired male somewhere along the way. Far more attached than you're willing to admit out loud.

"Thank you your grace, I apologize, I know you want answers and I'll answer any questions you have so please ask away"

"How. How did you know who I was? No one was alerted of my presence, I made sure of it so how?"

"I- Your grace even I don't know for sure but I assumed its because you chose me."

"Chose you? What do you mean?"

"Yes your grace, do you not remember? Back when me and my sister were trying to leave teyvat but were stopped by the unknown god, you chose to bless my with your protection which is why I was able to escape the fight."

"Oh. Right I suppose that did happen in the game."

"What was that your grace?"

"Nothing! Uhm- So then why are you here? It's obvious you want something from me, no?"

"I- there's nothing of the sort your grace. Quite frankly I- I have no idea why I started to find you in the first place. It's just something in the back of my mind, When I first felt your presence In this world I- I felt as though finding you was all I could do, Like I had to protect you from something. It's weird isn't it? I couldn't sleep nor eat for days, I felt a sort of a gravitation or pull towards you, I still do."

"What? A Pull towards me? That's- not supposed to happen-" You stumble back a bit suddenly feeling as if someone tied an anvil to your head.

"Your grace?! Are you alright?!" The vines wrapping Aether weaken and he's able to immediately pull them off and rush to your side, Paimon not far behind.

"Your Grace! Can you hear me?! Keep your eyes open! Y/n!!"

You could barely make out bits and piece of Aether's voice as you started seeing black spots in your vision. You couldn't maintain your balance and fell right into Aether's arms, eyes promptly shutting as both his and Paimon's words drifted out of your head.

_-_-_-_-_-_-_

Sounds of water rushing down a river and chirping of birds stirred you awake. A small groan left you as you got up into a sitting position and opened your eyes.

You were no doubt beside a riverbed and definitely not where you last remember being. Wait, what were you doing here? Weren't you supposed to be in the....

Your brain fills with memories of what happened before you passed out. Aether was there, and he knew you. He never claearly explained how he knew but you weren't all that concerned about that right now with the fact that you're in the middle of an unknown forest with no recollection of how you got there.

Deciding to get up and find some sort of a way out you pick a direction and move towards it.

What you didn't however notice was the the water in the river didn't seem to reflect you at all.

_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_

Fallen leaves crunched under your boots. You'd been walking for hours now yet no matter how much you walked you found yourself going in circles. Admittingly you didn't have great navigation skills but surely walking straight doesn't get you going in circles?

Coughs escape you as its been hours since you've last had a single sip of water and coincidently, every water body seems to want to avoid you. So much for being a reincarnation of a god huh.

However, your chain of thoughts was broken when you heard the snap of a fallen branch behind you. Your head whipped around towards the source at an astounding speed, "Who's there?!" The bushes you were so carefully staring at rustled indicating the presence of something.

Soon after though, a small rabbit hopped out of the bush, instantaneously easing your worries. It was pure white with icy blue iris' staring right back at you. Scratch the easing your worries part, this thing was terribly creepy. (A/N: IS THAT GOJO?)

It slowly hopped its way towards you, making you take a step back incase it decided to maul you to death. Yeah rabbits can definitely do that. It hopped closer and closer till it was touching your leg.

You despite your better decisions, slowly kneeled down and sat albeit uncomfortably. The rabbit however either didn't sense your unease or just simply didn't care. It hopped in your lap and nestled in. You hesitantly, out of reflex started petting him.

The rabbit let out a purr of approval. This isn't half bad eh? "Are you lost too?" You were surprised that the rabbit didn't understand you. Yep you were definitely going insane. Talking to rabbits? You were no snow white.

You definitely needed to get out of this forest and soon. "You're my friend now" Insane or not this rabbit was the only source of life you've seen in the past dozen hours. Screw you for wanting to have some semblence of a conversation.

The rabbit looked up at you with a deadpan expression, almost as if it understood what you said and didn't agree in the slightest. "Don't give me that look life's been hard ok?" The rabbit gave you another look.

It hopped out of your lap and headed for the direction opposite to the one you were going in. However it stopped after a second and turned around to look at you, almost beckoning you to follow it.

You did just that.

Following a creepy rabbit in a creepy jungle when you're alone without food and water? Seems like the most sensible thing to do no?

Trudging down the path behind the hopping rabbit your mind began to wander back to Aether. What did he mean by having a feeling of wanting to protect you? Was it merely because you're The Reincarnation or something else?

I suppose we'll know in due time eh?

The rabbit soon came to a halt. You looked up to see where it had stopped, finding a small house with a little farm beside it. Whoever was living here must have been for a long long time.

The rabbit moved out of the way as you walked up to the doorway and raised you hand to knock. Just as your fist was about to make contact with the door, a voice called out to you from inside the house "Come in!"

Huh that was a little weird. You looked behind you only to find the rabbit gone without a trace. Slightly creeped out, you obeyed the mysterious person's call and opened the wooden door stepping in.

You were immediately greeted by warmth, noticing a fireplace not far from where you stood. The house was exactly what you expected it to be inside. A small living area decorated with rugs and blankets, the fireplace providing warmth. A dining table enough to accommodate two people. Paintings everywhere. On the walls, the fireplace and even the kitchen counter top.

Nothing seemed out of the ordinary so you let your legs take you further into the house. Thats when it hit you. The smell of food. Your nose decided to guide your body to the dining table where you found tons of delicious looking options, from pancakes and waffles to eggs and bacon. The sight simply made you drool.

"Well sit down already, breakfast's almost ready dear" You heard that voice again though there was nobody around you at all. It confused you beyond anything.

"Who said that?" You managed to croak out of your parched throat.

"Introductions will be made in due time, first you should eat and drink something. You look starved. Let me help you"

Next thing you know a chair pops out from behind you, pushing your legs making you fall on it and tucks you right into the table. Dishes and utensils float out from the cabinates in the kitchen and place themselves infront of you. Without a thought in your mind, you give into the temptation and scarf down the food presented quite comically.

A choking sound emanates from your throat at the improper ingestion of food. Looking around for water a hand presents the desired liquid in a glass from beside you.

"Woah, easy there darling, we have plenty of time, eat like a human being please" You grab it thankfully and drink it letting out a sigh of relief from your suffocated state.

Your eyes move up to find the source of the sound only to see the most beautiful man you've ever been near smiling back at you. Though you cannot decipher any details of his face you just can't help but be in awe.

"W-who are you?" You sputter out.

"Me? I'm whoever you wish me to be darling."

Just as he says that, a bright light emanates from within him, momentarily blinding you and making you shield your eyes. As the light dulls down, you look up, only to see aether smiling back at you.

But that's not Aether.

No matter how perfectly every crevice of this person's face matches Aether's you know in your heart and soul, that the person across you is far from Aether.

"It seems you can only tell the difference when its him huh?"

"I'll ask you one more time, Who. Are. You."

You demand standing up from your seat as you come face to face with the man thing using Aether's face.

"Worry not dear, i'm not here to harm you. I'm actually doing the exact opposite, i know you aren't aware much of this world you've been thrusted into yet so i'll try to explain as swift as i can but you'll have to drop the cold looks and give me a solid chance."

You, although regrettably, wipe off the sourness on your face and morph it into slight displeasure. The being hums in content and sits down on a chair that wasn't there a second ago, motioning for you to sit down too.

You begrudgingly take a seat and look at the person expectanly.

It sighs and begins to speak "I suppose it started when the original creator of teyvat, Rhea, who was a dear friend of mine, had met her untimely end. She wasn't immortal like me nor was she a god at first. She was an ascender. Ascenders are people chosen by the gods to take on godhood, become deities and live like us. The aren't regarded as pure gods however, since a part of their mortal nature still clings to them."

"However Rhea was different from the other ascenders. She had a secret even I didn't know of till her final days. Rhea wasn't a complete mortal and due to her dual nature, the ascending ceremony had resulted in her unleashing a power that was thought to be long lost. You see, though immortal, us gods are not unkillable. Just as there is life for us there will also be death. We are slaves to the rules of the universe just as the mortals we create."

"Rhea had the power of Yang. She was the only being in existence with energy and power completely opposite to us gods. If we created, she destroyed. However Rhea was not cruel. She was the most admirable and loving person to ever exist, it's ironic how the kindest soul had been given the cruelest power." The being spoke, his lips stretching into a sad smile at the thought of his dead best friend.

"She had grown to hate her power. It had almost killed her and plenty of our other friends multiple times and had driven her sick. And thus came the one night neither I nor any of the surviving gods would be able to erase from our memories, Rhea made a decision. Rather than letting her power slowly destroy her and those she sought to protect, she would create. And she did. She crafted teyvat from her bare hands and used every ounce of her Yang to breathe life into teyvat.

Her power almost leveled the entirety of celestia that night. Had she not locked away herself with her powers in teyvat, there would be nothing left of us." His face had a grim look as his eyes moved up to look deep into your own.

"And that's where you come in dear. You y/n, are the only one in the entirety of the universe, capable of bringing Rhea back."

"M-me? You must be mistaken. You have to be. There's no way I can bring back a dead god! Yes I might be some reincarnation but you're asking me to bring someone back from the dead for heavens sake! Th-theres no way that's possible!" You didn't know what else to say, much less do, all this talk was starting to drive you insane.

"Dead god? Oh darling I never said Rhea was dead. Only that she'd been locked away in y—" A loud sound interrupted his words. Both your head snapped towards the front door and the window beside it. Golden light started to pool in from the windows and door cracks.

"What is happening? Are you doing this?" You asked looking back at the being only to see his face in a calculative and almost nervous look.

However, before you could say anything else, you felt as if you were being forcefully pulled away from the being across from you. His gaze snapped to you as his face contorted into a surprised look which soon morphed into an angry one.

"YOU!"

His voice boomed througout the room, however you noticed that his gaze didn't seem to be on you, rather on something behind you.

But before you could turn you eyelids started drooping, a sudden wave of dizziness and sleep overcame you as your body hit the floor. The last thing you could comprehend being a distorted voice saying,

"You—....keEp___..... from....y/n........make suRE.....you ____......time—...___ ProTect—......her!"

-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

The sound of a strange buzzing awoke you from your deep slumber. Your head felt like it was being hammered in and that wasn't a pleasant feeling at all. Regardless you decided to open your eyes.

The first thing you could make out was the moss growing on the ceiling. A familiar sight. You were in your room. The thought alone brought your body to relax. The next thing you percieved was a strange heaviness resting on top of your right hand.

You moved your eyes down to see a flock of golden hair resting directly by your side. The familiarity of the hair struck your already throbbing head as you finally realized what that strange heaviness was.

Aether was sleeping peacfully near your bed.

A turmoil of emotions crawled up your spine. Why was he here? Why is he asleep? Is he grabbing my hand? Indeed, Aether had fallen asleep with his fingers interlocked with yours and his head rested by your right hand.

The contact had alone made a blush make it's way to your cheeks, dusting them pink. God, his hand felt perfect in your's, almost as if it was made for you to hold.

However you had no time to let your thoughts fester in your mind as Aether had begun to stir from his slumber due your racing heartbeat. He of course had no idea he was the cause of said heartbeat.

"Y-y/n? You're— you're awake." He stammered out, honorifics completely leaving his mind at the sight of you.

"I could say the same" You speak out, gently squeezing his hand causing him to look down at his fingers.

It was Aether's time to blush now.

Being caught holding your hand much less sleeping next to it was definitely among the top 3 most embarrassing things Aether has ever done. Honestly, who could blame him?

When you had fallen down all of a sudden like that, Aether's heart had almost leapt out of his chest. For the first time in his life, seeing you so deathly still in his arms,

Aether was unmistakably scared.

Yes, the mighty powerful traveller who had fought dragons and gods and rivalled archons in power, was scared.

Your face had never looked so still before, and nothing could have terrified Aether more than when you had stopped Breathing for minutes on end. Aether had absolutely refused to even think straight. You being gone was never a thought he would let into his mind. He wouldn't lose you. Not after he lost everything else important to him. Not you though. Never you.

Back then Aether hadn't paid attention to anything except thinking about how to wake you up. The only thought in his mind being

You. You. You. You.

So unsurprisingly, when the connection he had been feeling for months up until he finally met you today was bursting with actual visible golden energy, that thrummed all the way from his chest, through his veins and into his hands, he hadn't thought twice about thrusting that power into you, hoping it could save you just as it saved him all those months ago.

And his trust was not misplaced.

Soon enough he could feel your heart starting to beat again. The same rhythm he swears to have memorised by now. His hands moved under you and curled around your shoulders and legs to lift you up effortlesly as he moved further into the cottage to set you down someplace comfortable.

Paimon had followed Aether worriedly, seeing how he ignored the way all the plants and flowers around the two of them had shriveled up and lost their life the more Aether continued to use that mysterious power on you.

The only flowers that remained were the Inteyvats, shining among the withering flowers, like the brightest star in the night sky.

Well shit. That was honestly WAY longer than I'd initially planned this to be 😭😭

I FINALLY FINISHED THIS PART THO.

Did you guys enjoy the massive lore drop? Or was it the Aether going almost yandere that you guys liked?(this wasn't planned btw I promise I can write non yandere stuff😭😭)

Tbh i wanted more y/n and Aether banter in here but I'm content with how this chapter turned out lol.

With how long it's taken me to write this ch (because i originally intended for this to be a standalone with no sub parts) but now that I'm writing the idea out, it just keeps getting longer and longer😔😔

SO ALLOW ME TO RE-INTRODUCE THIS AS A SERIES TO YA'LL<3

I'd heavily appreciate it if you guys were to send me ideas about how you think this story would turn out, and what character you think we'll be seeing in the future lol. I have a basic idea of how I want this story to turn out but I'd love to hear your thoughts as well!!

Well then, I suppose I'll see you all in the next part eh?

Until the next one~

Taglist:

@mthewitchsworld @tealconie @ravenstuffs @sirspin @valeriele3 @ash1 @leafanonsforest @the-dumber-scaramouche @goldenglow149 @elite2307 @m-majoko @yourlocalstranger123 @blueberry-jelly-stars @strawpez @sipysuki @esesfurki @ifeellikejumpingoffacliff @toybonix @theabysss @fancyhawk45 @resident-cryptid

[helslastangel]

I wonder sometimes if these super blunt rude astrologers write about their personal placements as harshly as they do the ones of people they happen to dislike. If so, then cool. I can respect that.

But I read some posts and it's like.... girl. It's so obvious which sign/element/planet combos or aspects you personally hate, lol.

Maybe this is my Libra mercury talking. But sometimes I take really long to write observations because I'm proofreading them for signs of unfairness. When I can, I'll look at my previous posts to see if I was harsh on a placement last time so I can focus on something positive for them in the next one. And vice versa.

I literally feel bad if I reread my old stuff and realize I dragged a particular placement twice in a row without something nice in between. I don't understand people who can't really seem to separate placements from specific people they dislike. And I don't want to understand them tbh. Coming from someone who usually asks "why" for every damn thing, even against my better judgement.

The worst treatment I've ever received in my life was from Scorpio + Cancer men and Pisces + Gemini women. Yet, you will never catch me writing post after post villainizing those placements. Some of my sweetest friendship moments were also with people having sun, moon or other major placements in those same 4 signs.

To get up every day and go on and on negatively about the same placement over and over just tells me that someone can't distinguish where their personal dynamic with specific people ends and the more generally applicable aspects of astrology begin.

I wish I could invent some kind of mind scanner that could instantly display anyone's big 5 and give the prototype to these kinds of people. Just so they could go around and find out how many people they're getting along with JUST fine right now who have all the placements they hate. I know I've said this before but it's something that really rubs me the wrong way and I usually end up unfollowing if I notice a pattern of that in someone's posts. Yeah no. Especially if I get the impression someone is a mean girl astrologer. Nah. Take that energy to Twitter.

[rius-cave]

You've said from your lick.comic that Lucifer becomes attracted to Adam not long after and Adam is basically dealing with gay panic.

How long after that do they sleep together and how does it happen??

Ooohhh nonny

It wouldn't take too long after it. Hmmm, in fact, I have a comic planned down the line that fits very nicely as a continuation, I might tweak the script a bit to fit it better, so we'll see.

However that comic is gonna be kinda dub-cony and with some coercion so I'll propose an alternative if that's not your thing lol

After the events of that comic, Adam is effectively UNEASY around Lucifer. He can't even look him in the eye, he's actively avoiding him. He's apologized (begrudgingly) to Charlie and he's actually behaving well with the hotel gang.... Except when Lucifer is around. He gets pissy, short-fused, snappy, etc.

Lucifer meanwhile has the spark of attraction ignited inside of him, he looks at Adam with... Not uninterested eyes, but he has a much better hold of himself, he doesn't really act differently or is trying to seduce him further, it's just kind of in the back of his mind for now.

However he IS getting pissed off at Adam's attitude and how he's CLEARLY avoiding him. He briefly wonders if it's because he's just being a fucking brat.

This goes on for AT LEAST two weeks until Adam says something stupid and tries to flee from Lucifer's presence again and Lucifer is like "okay that's it".

Lucifer pulls Adam to a room with just the two of them alone and they have this discussion:

"okay, this is getting ridiculous. Fucking spill it."

"I don't know what the fuck you're talking about! Let me go already!"

"Not until you tell me what's got your panties in a twist. Come on it's been weeks."

"NOTHING! Goddammit-! This is fucking stupid!"

"Adam I'm not an idiot, please just-"

Lucifer tries to grab his arm but Adam flinches away from it.

"DON'T FUCKING TOUCH ME! YOU-!" he yells, loudly, and there's a very obvious blush on his face.

Lucifer looks at him, really looks at him, and then it all clicks for him.

"Holy shit, are you telling me-"

"IM NOT SAYING SHIT. LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE."

"No fucking way," Lucifer's face starts breaking into a smile. "For real? That little teasing got to you this bad?"

"I DON'T-! NO! SHUT UP!"

"Ohoho, this is so rich! Who would've thought!" Lucifer smirks, getting closer to Adam and adopting a much more flirty demeanor. "That the so called Dickmaster would want a piece of lil ol me?"

"SHUT UP FREAK, OF COURSE I DO NOT!"

"Hey, no judgement here, you should've just told me you needed to get laid that badly instead of piss and moan for days. Really buddy, it would've made things so much easier."

"LIKE HELL IT WOULD! I don't want you near me! Get away from me!"

Lucifer cocks an eyebrow but doesn't flinch, he starts circling Adam, as if he was prey. Adam just follows his shadow, still trying to hold on to his little secret. When Lucifer speaks again, it seems to come from everywhere at once.

"If you insist, I'll leave you alone for now. But really Adam, you just say the word and I'll make you reach Heaven again. I'll make you see more stars than you ever knew existed. See more colors than there are in the rainbow."

Adam gulps, and he panics internally when he realizes that he's starting to get hard. However, Lucifer doesn't seem to notice because then he feels Lucifer squeezing his ass, eliciting a yelp from him, and then next thing he knows Lucifer is back at the door frame, all the tension in the room dissipating.

"My door's always open! Well then, pal! Hope ya get your shit together! Don't make daddy mad~" he adds that last part with a velvety tone, and then disappears.

"Fuck..."

Not a full 24 hrs pass before Adam is knocking quietly in Lucifer's door (his new temporary room in the hotel) and Lucifer greets him with a smirk. They close and lock the door behind them. The end.

[0nlythrowharrybeaux]

A Twist of Fate - The End**

IT'S FINALLY DONE! I hope you guys like this final part of the A Twist of Fate series

Warnings: mentions of drug and alcohol, mental health/therapy themes, coming out as poly conversation, fingering, oral (fem receiving), unprotected sex.

WC: 25.5K

There's a playlist for this one!

When you woke up the following morning your head hurt and your body felt sore. You knew you were dancing a lot and moving in ways that your body was not accustomed to. Moreover, you were reminded of why you’d decided to stop drinking when you went out. You laid in bed in silence for several minutes, recapping all of the events from the party, and your stomach turned again as you envisioned the disillusioned look in Taylor’s eyes when she saw you coming into the bathroom.

She wasn’t mean or rude to you in any way, but a lot things flashed through your mind that made you react the way you had. The song a few months ago, the momentary lapse in your character that made you judge her when she and Harry were on vacation, and the kiss. You genuinely hadn’t felt all that bad about the kiss with Harry before, it had been a lapse in judgement, a mistake… that was until you were standing in front of her. You remembered how much you’d been fantasizing about kissing him again and apparently he felt the same way. It just felt like too many things to hold in, so they came out however they could. You were dying to apologize for ruining their evening, but you knew that speaking to either of them would cause more harm than good.

Your phone dinging with a text made you exhale. So you got a good stretch in, hearing a couple little cracks as you reached your limit and held it before relaxing and sitting up. You opened your phone and smiled when you saw Ricky’s text.

Ricky:

Hey:) Did you make it out alive? 

You had been seeing Ricky casually. It was quite an unexpected but almost obvious pairing. You’d spent a lot of time together now that you were back in the studio and you had also developed a friendship after working together for a couple years now. But after helping his sister out is when you starting hanging out more. One night when he was dropping you off after you guys had seen Provoker you just had this tense moment and he kissed you and you kissed back and well, now you’d been hooking up for a little over a month. 

Y/N: 

I did! Barely, but still haha

Ricky: 

But still:) When are you back?

Y/N:

Tuesday morning. Why…?

Ricky:

We should do something.

Y/N:

Yeah, that sounds nice. Maybe we can go to Venice? Grab some brunch and get high on the beach.

Ricky:

I think I might have to break our no romantic feelings rule over that.

You giggled as you read his reply and before you could respond a few knocks on the door startled you.

“Come in!” You called out.

“You’re up already?” Caitlyn asked with a smile and you nodded as she came over and climbed into the empty side of the bed. “How’d you sleep?”

“I should be asking you. The couch wasn’t too bad?” 

“It was alright. Better than being the audience to your tears all night.” She teased and you chuckled.

“Well, I didn’t really cry last night any more. I think it was just all really overwhelming in the moment.” You said and she nodded.

“Good. So you’re feeling OK? No bad crash?” She asked and you shook your head.

“I mean, I do feel a little down, but I don’t think it has anything to do with the molly…” you said and she hummed. “I’m just not happy with-” you paused and turned your attention back to you phone when it dinged in your hands and saw Ricky’s message.

Ricky:

I’m sorry. Did I make it weird?

Y/N:

No, not at all! Sorry, Cait just came in to check on me:)

Ricky:

Okay, thank fuck haha

Ricky:

Well I’ll let you go, I actually have to work out now so…

Y/N:

Stoooop, you do not lol It’s the worst, so I wouldn’t hold it against you if you didn’t.

Ricky:

Okay. I’ll just pretend not to know anything about your track history lol

Y/N:

Yeah, do that. I’ll text you later:)

Ricky:

Sounds good! 

“Look at you, all smiley after you said you’re a little down…” Caitlyn pointed out and you chuckled.

“It’s just Ricky.” You explained.

“Ah, still riding that…hmmm.” she hummed and you chuckled.

“God, so crass…” 

“I know.” She grinned and then your smile dropped as you recalled the previous topic at hand.

“I just feel really bad for yesterday. I hope I didn’t cause too big of a fuss with Harry and Taylor. I’m sure my reaction made me seem guilty of what she assumed.” You sighed, already overthinking it all over again. You’d replayed the scenario over and over at least a solid thousand times in the shower last night.

“Oh, they’ll be fine.” Caitlyn scoffed through a laugh, “You did the right thing in trying to avoid him. Who cares what she took the whole puking thing as. Hopefully she is able to believe Harry that you weren’t together and if she doesn’t well, that’s her issue, not yours.” She advised and you nodded.

“Right.” You smiled a bit.

“Well, what should we do today? Have breakfast and go for a little walk? Help wear off any hangover symptoms?”

“Yeah, that actually sounds good.”

“OK.” She smiled and got out of the bed, “I should shower first. S’gonna be a long one after the night we had.” She mumbled and you nodded.

“Oh yeah, please. Take your time.” You insisted.

**************

HARRY’S POV:

Harry hardly slept a wink. He hadn’t been able to reach anyone to stay with at the last minute and all the hotels he knew he could safely stay at were booked out, so he stayed on the couch in the suite. The couch was far too firm for his liking, but he still laid down there and just thought. He thought and thought for hours and hours if all of this had been worth it. He didn’t have Taylor and he didn’t have you. He felt heartbroken but he knew that this was the best outcome. He clearly couldn’t make up for the past, at least not in Taylor’s eyes. And it was better that they end things than for him to keep trying to meet an impossible expectation. Taylor wanted him to stop loving you, it was genuinely an impossible request. And settling deep in some crevice somewhere beneath all the hurt he recognized the feeling of relief. 

He tried his best to figure out what the relief was about, but he kept coming back to the same thing, he was relieved that the relationship was over. He felt wrong for having that thought. It was uncomfortable to have that knowledge and to just sit with it. But he processed through the discomfort and soon concluded that just how Taylor said she didn’t like herself anymore, neither did he. He was afraid to say or do the wrong thing and then be back in a weird limbo thing where she’d leave his place for a few days to clear her head and then come back a few days later with another condition he needed to meet to make things “work”. She was never unreasonable, but he was tired. He felt like he was fighting against who he was and he hated it. His mum always told him that he should be with someone who loves and accepts who he is and that he shouldn’t have to change fundamental parts of himself for the sake of making someone else happy.

He checked the time, it was only 7am and he dreaded being an early riser right now when he needed the rest. He just lay there quietly for a while, he could hear her moving around in the bedroom, she was probably packing up, their flight left that night. He had no idea what her plans were. Eventually, he really needed to use the bathroom and wanted a shower so he sat up and stretched his arms back behind his head and arched his back up, the low crack of his back releasing its tension made him hum before he stood. He knocked at the door gently with his index finger.

“Yeah?”

“I need a wee. And a shower.” He said. Moments later the lock clicked and she opened the door.

“Morning.”

“Good morning.” He murmured.

“You alright?” She asked.

“Yeah, I think so.” He said, “And you?”

“Good too. I don’t…regret it. Or take it back if that’s what you’re asking.” She said and he nodded, “Ummm, well go ahead and get in there.” She said.

“Tay?”

“Yeah?” She asked, eyes meeting his.

“We should talk logistics after. Don’t scamper off, alright?” He asked and she nodded.

“Yeah, ummm, should I order up?”

“Yeah, I’ll have whatever you have.”

“Kay.” She hummed.

When Harry got out their breakfast was being delivered. So he got dressed quickly and then headed out to the little table out in the lounging area of their suite. The spread looked good and he soon sat down and started eating. It was tense and quiet for a bit before he spoke up.

“So ummm…are you going to come back to London with me or take some time away?” He asked.

“Ummm, I think I’m gonna stay here. Just ummm…get a bit of space.”

“Yeah, that’s alright. Ummm, obviously, I can take care of this for you-”

“No, it’s alright. I mean…I broke up with you, if anything I should pay for you and…soothe your broken heart.” She said with a small smile and he chuckled.

“I might not seem like it but I am upset. It just doesn’t feel real yet.” He explained and she offered a tight-lipped smiled.

“It’s alright, I know what you mean.” She mumbled before they ate a bit more. “So ummm, are you gonna go after her? Y/N?”

“Ummm, we had this deal where we’d see where fate led us, so no.” he said and she sighed.

“All that for you not to go after what you really want?”

“It’s not like that. I really wanted things to work with you too, like I love you and I care about you-”

“Sure, but the whole time you’ve loved her. So you should go be with her.” She said, as if it were the obvious next move. He still didn’t think that she was fully understanding what was really going on inside of him.

“I mean, it’s not that simple…” 

“Sure it is, Harry.” She sighed, “You’ve been pining after her all these years. I mean, I know that things didn’t work out how you wanted the first time and that letting go really hurt you. But I think you’ve been running from what you really want for long enough, H. I know you’re scared that you’ll put yourself out there and it won’t work again, but you have to take the risk.”

“I will, just…when the time is right.” He said and she nodded.

After she packed the last of her things she headed off to somewhere he didn’t know and that was that.

****************

You had just finished breakfast and Caitlyn had just hopped in the shower and you were trying to figure out what to wear out. You had two options laid out on the bed when Caitlyn’s phone started ringing from the bedside table and you hurried over and froze as you saw “Harry Styles, mobile” displayed on the glass screen. There was a wacky picture of him making a funny, irritated face in the background. It made you smile for a moment before you wondered why he’d be calling. Maybe something was wrong? You decided to deal with the consequences later and just answer it. 

“Hello?” You greeted tentatively. Your voice faded into a breathless whisper by the second syllable of the word as the uncertainty of your decision grew.

“Y/N?” He asked, almost in disbelief and you nodded and then remembered you weren’t in front of him and inhaled sharply.

“Yeah, it’s me.” You responded and smiled when you heard him sigh in relief and then chuckle.

“Hi!” He greeted cheerfully.

“Hi.” You laughed breathily and then waited for his response.

“Ummm, I was only calling to check on you actually.” He said.

“Oh, that’s sweet of you.”

“Well, I heard through the grapevine that you got a little sick.” He chuckled and you giggled.

“Yeah, that happened…” you said and he hummed, “I’m alright, I just got overwhelmed because I was drinking and also I…did drugs. I don’t think I would’ve had such a theatrical reaction otherwise.” You explained.

“Well either way, I’m glad you’re feeling better.”

“Thank you. And how are you? I was worried that I maybe… caused some…tension between you and Taylor last night.” You said carefully.

“Yeah, I’m…alright.” He said, face twisted up a bit awkwardly.

“Why did you say it weird?” You asked and he chuckled.

“Did I?”

“I know you…” you said knowingly and he smiled to himself.

“I’m just so happy to hear your voice again. I missed the sound.” He expressed and you felt your cheeks getting all warm as you blushed.

“I’ve missed you too. A lot.” You responded. “So, how are you? Really.” You asked again. Harry was great at deflecting. But if something was wrong with them and you had unintentionally caused it, then the least you could do was talk it out with him.

“I swear, I am fine, but ummm…Taylor actually…broke up with me.” He said and you gasped audibly.

“Oh my god…” you sighed regretfully, already feeling awful and guilty for their demise, “I’m so sorry, H. So truly sorry. Are you sure you’re alright?” You asked and he sighed, “Was it because of me?” You asked next, your voice was small and quiet.

“Oh no, get that out of your head. Not at all.” He responded immediately, “It wasn’t you. This was all me…” he said and you sighed, “But I promise I’m good. Well at least right now I am…” he said.

“Well, when you don’t feel good you can call me, you know?” You said and he chuckled.

“Actually I can’t…I haven’t got your number any more.” He confessed and you scoffed.

“Oh…Okay…” you hummed in playful offense.

“I assure you it wasn’t my idea.” He added with a chuckle, “But I mean, deleting it didn’t really do what it was intended to, which was get me to forget about you, so…” He chuckled.

“I mean…” you hummed and giggled.

“Well ummm…I’m glad you’re alright.”

“Thanks. When are you heading home?”

“Tonight. I leave at 10.”

“Oh ummm…if you wanted some company we’re gonna go for a walk in the park?” You offered.

“Really?”

“Yeah, H.”

“Yeah, I’d love to come. Ummm, I’m staying at The Mark, so right near the park.”

“Oh, we’re at the Carlyle! Just down the street from you. We can walk over and meet you in the lobby?”

“Yeah, that’s perfect. Text me when you guys are walking over.”

“Will do.” You smiled.

“Alright, see you later. Bye.”

“Bye.”

When Caitlyn came out of the shower you immediately told her what you’d done and that Harry and Taylor had broken up. She was completely shocked that something as seemingly insignificant as running into you in the bathroom had been the thing that pushed Taylor over the edge.

“Wow…”

“I know. He said it wasn’t my fault but…I mean it all goes to shit after I had a wee run in with Taylor in the bathroom?”

“Yeah…I just can’t believe that is what broke the camel’s back. Like, it must’ve been quite bad between them if that’s all it took, you know?”

“Yeah…like I feel like it’s kind of my fault, but I also know I didn’t do anything, you know? But God, just seeing the joy drain from her face when she realized it was me…that sucked.”

“I can imagine. But hey, now you’re both single, maybe you guys can try again now.”

“Maybe…but he really loved her so I think he will need some time to get past this.”

“Just don’t wait too long. With both of you griping at me I don’t know what to do anymore.” She chuckled and you smiled.

“Yeah…”

***************

You and Caitlyn were waiting in the lobby at The Mark and after a few minutes Harry was wandering down looking cozy in a hoodie and some workout shorts. He smiled and waved when he saw you guys. You and Caitlyn waved back as he came closer.

“Hiya.” He said lowly as he hugged Caitlyn.

“Hey.” She hummed and then they pulled back.

“Hi.” He said more timidly as he stepped over to you and hugged you into his body. You relaxed in his hold and sighed in relief.

“Hi. It’s so good to see you.” You smiled as you pulled back.

“You too.” He grinned, “Umm, shall we?”

“Yeah, let’s go.” Caitlyn agreed.

You were all chatting, recounting your adventures from the MET as you made your walk through the park. Then, Caitlyn would take you guys to a coffee shop she really liked. It was relaxed, though as you got deeper through the park a couple of people did notice you guys and two girls started following you guys for a bit until you were veering too far from their path. You were all linked arms and skipping as you playfully sung the “We’re Off to See the Wizard” song from “The Wizard of Oz” through your laughter.

“Okay friends, ready for a little caffeine boost?” Caitlyn asked.

“Definitely.” Harry chuckled and then you guys started heading back. 

While waiting in line at the coffee shop and chatting with Caitlyn about what you guys should try, you and Harry had to respectfully decline getting pictures and videos with fans to avoid making a huge fuss. But nevertheless, it was obvious that people were recording from afar or taking pictures without your consent. He didn’t seem as nervous or fearful about it as he did when you two dated, so at least there was that. He felt far more confident and comfortable declining these requests now. Before he felt a little bit obligated, as did you, because if it weren’t for these people’s support you wouldn’t be where you were. 

You did a lot of work on boundaries in therapy and now you thought of it as being on and off the clock. If you were at an event or on a stage or out in public repping a certain brand or product even if you were with friends then you were “on the clock”. But if you were just hanging out with your friends, running errands, going about your day…then you considered yourself to be “off the clock” and during these moments, depending on where you were or who you were with, you might accept or decline the requests fans made of you. Now, after what Harry had been dealing with since the night (or early morning technically) you didn’t really want anyone getting too close and you could see the gratitude in his eyes when you turned away yet another fan who was gazing between the two of you and deciding that you might be the easiest target. 

“You’ve gotten really good at this.” Harry hummed lowly as he leaned closer to you and you giggled as his lips slightly tickled your ear.

“Thanks. Therapy.” You said as you glanced up at him and he hummed.

“Not cause of me, right?” He asked quietly.

“Not primarily, but you came up.” You confirmed and he smiled.

“I talked about you too. A lot.” He chuckled and you smiled.

“All good things I hope…”

“Oh yeah…definitely.” He said sarcastically and you laughed and you moved to elbow him playfully but he caught your arm first and just pulled your body in front of his. “Had to overpower you to prevent any violence.” He said quietly and you laughed and tossed your head back to rest on his shoulder and he glanced down at you.

“You have boogies.” You grinned as you informed him quietly and he furrowed his eyebrows and scoffed.

“No I don’t.” He sniffled and ran his finger under his nose just in case and you laughed and turned around to face him again now that his dominant hand was occupied. “Do I really?” He asked you quietly and you sniggered and shook your head.

“No, just messing with you.” You assured him as you laughed and he rolled his eyes before suddenly grabbing your arms and pulling you in and then pulling your arms around his torso.

“Hug me.” He requested softly and you swore the entire world stopped just then and you smiled as you leaned into him and hugged him tight before he squeezed around your waist and exhaled. You gently scratched over the expanse of his back for a few moments, “Now when I google us this’ll come up.” He said softly.

“Hmmm, very clever.” You smiled, “Love it.” You decided and he chuckled.

“Okay, stop flirting and decide on your drinks, we’re next in line.” Caitlyn said.

“Ready?” You asked softly.

“No.” Harry mumbled, “But do it. Just do it.” You sighed and let go of him and you looked up at him with a gentle smile as you rubbed over his shoulder.

“Oh, I missed you.” You said and he grinned and you turned around as you heard Caitlyn start ordering her drink.

“Please don’t check ‘em out, I’ve got them covered.” Harry called to the cashier who nodded and smiled at him. Soon after you were all corned up near the pick up counter chatting, including Caitlyn in it a lot more now that you and Harry had been able to just relish in each other’s company for a little bit.

“Order for Harry!” The barista called and Harry walked up and grabbed the drinks, smiling at the barista and mumbling a thanks before going the few steps over to you guys and handing over your drinks. 

Caitlyn had gotten a matcha latte while you and Harry opted for plain cold brews. Once again, you guys took off but this time back to your hotels with your drinks in hand to beat the warmth of the day. You guys were talking about your favorite looks of the night as you made the walk back and when you were down the street he turned to you guys.

“Ummm, would you guys want to come up for a bit? I don’t have to leave until 8 from here?” He asked, “We could have dinner?” He asked you two and Caitlyn shrugged.

“Yeah, I’m down.” She smiled and you turned to Harry and nodded in agreement. 

After being seen leaving earlier, there were people waiting around for him outside the hotel but you guys rushed in quickly and then headed up to his suite. You headed off to the bathroom while Caitlyn and Harry picked something to watch. You looked yourself over in the mirror and you were glad that you looked alright, you felt a little weird from your slight hangover still, bit you were glad you didn’t look dead. When you opened up the door Caitlyn was sitting on the bed waiting for you to get out so she could go in.

“S’all yours.” You smiled as you stepped out.

“Behave.” She admonished and you giggled and headed back out to the little “living room” area to see Harry still scrolling through the channels on the TV with a little furrow in his brow and a slight squint to his eyes and you smiled.

“Where are you glasses?”

“I lost ‘em a bit ago.” He said glancing over to you before you plopped down beside him.

“Oh H…”

“I know. Haven’t been able to secure an appointment.” He said and you hummed. 

“You feeling OK though?” You asked more seriously and he nodded.

“Yeah…like it sucks, but you guys are good company. I’m sure I’ll feel it when I’m on my own though.”

“Well I think that’s great, H.” You said and he looked at you a bit perplexed, “I mean that you have to feel this out. I know that you really love her and that this can’t be easy for you, so you have to sit with it a bit and just go through the motions of it all.” You explained.

“And what about us? Didn’t we agree that-”

“Technically you said a few years from now…” you said with a soft smile.

“Well I’ll be 30-something by then…”

“So will I…” you shrugged and he smiled a bit sadly.

“Have you…changed your mind?” He asked you cautiously. He was trying not to look broken up about it, but you knew him well and you could see the fear and concern in his eyes.

“I’m not saying that. I’m saying you need to be single for a little bit. More than two months.” You said and he chuckled, “Seriously Harry, when we ended you had a new girlfriend a few months later. And then when that ended you were suddenly with Taylor, no?” You asked and he chuckled.

“Yeah, I did kinda rush into this last few more than usual…it just felt really right at the time and we vibed well. I knew I’d be off for a bit so it felt like good time to try.” He explained with a shrug. “Taylor actually started talking to me before I was single, so we were friends for a bit so it’s not like I just dated someone I hardly knew.” He defended and you giggled along with him.

“Yeah, I joke a bit. But I mean, as long as you don’t regret the time you’ve spent and as long as you’ve learned and grown from these people and your relationships with them I think that’s great. But I think we both know that filling the void is simply a bandaid.” You explained.

“I know…” he sighed, “I really am just so scared of being alone.”

“Well H, you’re never going to be alone. I’m here whenever you need anything.” You assured and he glanced to you with a smile, “I know that maybe it was just…scary to talk and be around each other before, but I mean once we did see each other it didn’t…hurt. Not at all. It actually brought me…relief that…nothing had really changed between us.” You said to him and he hummed and nodded.

“Yeah.” He smiled, “You know I was genuinely dreading the day I’d run into you. I think I also thought it would be painful or feel like defeat or failure… it did fuck me up a bit but in a good way.” He assured and you chuckled.

“Yeah, same…” you smiled, “Well, all that to say that I love you, a lot! And I’ll always be here for you no matter what happens with us. I don’t want us to be estranged ever again. Got it?”

“Yeah.” He nodded with a relieved smile, “You know, I think you’re right though…”

“Of course I am.” You said, “About what?” He chuckled.

“That I need to just take a little bit of time to really just get through this and then we can think of everything else.”

“Right.” You smiled. 

You guys fell silent for a bit and then you heard that Caitlyn was actually on the phone in the bedroom. When you glanced back there the door was nearly closed all the way and you sighed as you glanced down at your hands.

“How about you? How’ve you been?” He asked.

“Good.” You nodded, “I mean, Seb was relentless for a bit, but a few weeks ago he just stopped trying to win me back. I mean, I don’t think what he wants is awful, but I don’t see myself changing that much of myself just to fit the kind of person he wants.”

“Yeah.” Harry nodded in understanding. “Like I don’t think that’s a bad thing either, but it’s just the way he expects it to rest on you that’s a little…antiquated.” He chuckled and you nodded.

“Right, like don’t tell it to me like it’s my job because I’m a female. That’s where it really upset me. Like if you have a life together and you share a home and have a family it’s both of yours to look after!”

“I agree.” He chuckled, “You know, I still don’t know how to change a tire.” He chuckled and you smiled.

“I don’t think you’ll ever need to know anyway.” You teased and he sniggered. He repositioned himself so that he was facing you now and you glanced over at him. “What?” You questioned and he smiled.

“I’m really happy that you’re here.” He said softly.

“Me too.” You assured and then he pulled you into his arms and hugged you tight. He sighed in relief as he rested his cheek over the top of your head. As you exhaled your body melted into his even more until he just left himself fall back against the arm of the couch.

“You know, when we were together, I genuinely thought you were the best person I’d ever met. And like even now, it’s like you’re still the same person but just elevated, if that makes sense?” He asked and you hummed, “I want to experience you as you are now. I really love what I’ve seen. Your self control, your patience, and your self awareness, I really enjoy seeing you this way. I think when we were younger you kind of…looked to me a lot to gauge how you should feel about things…like not that you were just agreeing with me, but that my views and perception of things mattered a lot and influenced yours a lot.” He explained and you hummed.

“Yeah, that’s very true. I think you just had so much more experience in the world and I agreed with mostly everything you cared about and so I definitely tried to learn things from you and let those things influence me a lot.” 

“Well not anymore…” he smiled, “I mean, I think values-wise we’ll always be on the same page, but now you’ve grown into it on your own. Like, you took all this time to just look after yourself and understand yourself and I’m just so proud of who you’ve become. And I want to…get to that point. I want to get to a point where you are proud of me.” He said.

“Oh, I am!” You said as you set up and turned to face him again, “I think you’ve come such a long way, H. And I think you know who you are now and it’s so refreshing to see it. I think you’ve overcome your need to people please and also your fear of what people think of you and what you do. Before, the way you were perceived was almost the most important thing to you.”

“Yeah.” He agreed.

“Like over the last couple years, seeing you out and about with your friends, your partners, or whatever it be, I mean, I love it! You’ve started choosing the things and people that make you happy regardless of what other people think and I love that for you so, so much. I’ve just always wanted for you to feel happy with yourself.” You said as you reached for and then squeezed his hand in yours. He glanced down at it and smiled.

“I do, I really do.” He assured you. “You know, I just can’t help but get excited when I think about how things will be with us when we try again. It’s going to be so good…we’ve both grown up so much and really taken care of ourselves. I think I might have a bit of catching up to do with you…” he chuckled, “But I’m going to work hard at it for myself and for us too.” He said and you smiled.

“Well just know that I’ve loved every version of you so far because you’ve always been good to me. But it’s really important to me that you feel happy with yourself and clearly that’s something you’re getting more and more in tune with and it’s very beautiful to witness.” You said.

“Ummm, thank you.” He said with a timid smile as you ran your thumb over his knuckles.

“Yeah, of course.” You replied. And before anything more could happen Caitlyn came out of the bedroom and let out an exasperated sigh. “Is everything alright?” You asked her as you both watched her come around.

“A writing session got moved up for a show I’m working on and I’ll need to be back in LA tomorrow afternoon.” She groaned as she plopped down on the couch. “I found a flight, a red eye though.” She said and you hummed.

“Well I’ll go back too, don’t want to be here by myself.” You said and she nodded.

“OK, let me get them then.”

“OK, I’ll Zelle you right now, just let me know how much they are.” You said and she nodded.

“We need to pack.”

“Yeah…” you sighed.

“You guys can go if you want. Please don’t feel obligated to hang around here.” Harry said.

“What if we help you finish your packing and then you can come with us and we can pack while we have dinner and then you go from there?” Caitlyn suggested.

“Ummm yeah, I’d love that actually.” He said.

“Settled then.” You smiled at him and he returned a brighter smile, “Let’s do it!” You said and he guided you guys to the bedroom and got his things together. 

He only had a carry on as he was only there for a few days so this didn’t take too long. You guys ordered an Uber while Harry checked out and then you all headed back to your hotel. Caitlyn did her own packing as she didn’t want Harry seeing her intimates and such, so he stuck to helping you. Not that he had seen any of your new stuff, but at least he’d been in that position before. Since you guys were going to be there for a week total you guys unpacked your things into the dressers and closet, so currently all your things were laid out on the floor while Caitlyn’s were on the large bed you had shared over the last several days.

“So you guys shared?” Harry asked as he folded up some of your jeans.

“Yep. Though I don’t think we will ever again-”

“Oh my god…I shoved you one night.” Caitlyn said as you started to laugh and Harry did too.

“One night’s enough trauma.” You said and she scoffed.

“Do you kick?” Harry asked.

“No, I think I maybe had a very vivid dream because I’m usually a very still.” She explained, “Though you are a cuddler. Maybe I was trying to get away from you.” She said to you and you giggled.

“Maybe…it’s just when I sleep in unfamiliar spaces.” You explained and Harry smiled at you.

“Still? With how much you’re on the road for tours and shit?” He asked and you shrugged, “S’cute.” He assured you softly as he continued folding one of your tops.

“It’s not.” Caitlyn said to you with a grin and you just stuck your tongue out at her and she chuckled.

After a bit you guys ordered in some grilled cheese sandwiches because it’s just a lovely comfort food. With Harry there and some stimulating conversation you guys finished packing quite fast, but now you had to go down to reception and sort out the early check out. Harry offered to go with you but you assured him it was fine, you didn’t want him to get flocked in the lobby and then you hurried out promising to be back soon.

“So…what’s up with you two?” Caitlyn asked Harry when you left.

“She wants me to stay single for a while and properly move past this. I mean, she’s right of course, but it’s just something I struggle with.” He admitted, “But she said I can count on her if I need anything.” He said of you.

“Yeah, of course. And me too! You have so many friends out in LA who would more than gladly lend an ear since we don’t see you as much anymore.” She explained and he smiled.

“Well thank you. I will definitely take advantage of that. And like…I do want to work on myself a bit more…maybe I can head out there for a bit and get some face time with my therapist. We talk on the phone or do virtual stuff sometimes, but I think I could use some in person intensive work. We haven’t spoken in maybe…close to a year.” He explained with a chuckle.

“Well yeah, if it’ll be beneficial to you, do it.” She encouraged him.

“Ummm, I hate to do this to you but ummm…I saw Y/N texting someone quite a bit while we were down here…is she seeing someone?” He asked, “Or maybe I should just ask her…yeah, I’ll just ask her.” He said instead and Caitlyn chuckled.

“Alright.” She smiled. Shortly after you came back into the room and told Caitlyn everything was good to go for your earlier departure. “Excellent.” She said to you, “Well, now that we’re all packed I’m going to smoke my joint on the balcony, I want this to be the greatest grilled cheese I’ve eaten in a long time.” She said as she stood from the bed and stretched. “Do you guys want some?” She asked glancing to them and then giving Harry a knowing glance.

“No, I’m alright.” Harry said.

“Same.” You assured her and she smiled and then made her way out of the bedroom and into the common area of your shared suite and after a few moments you guys heard the door shut behind her. 

“You still don’t smoke?”

“I’ve tried, I just can’t. It burns so bad.” You grimaced and he chuckled.

“S’not good for us anyway…” he said and you nodded, “Ummm…can I ask you something?” 

“Yeah, of course.” You nodded and waited for him to speak up expectantly.

“That umm…the guy you keep texting? Are you- is he-”

“Oh no. No, no, no.” you said to him right away, “Well…we are…ummm, hooking up, but he’s just a friend.” You explained and he nodded.

“Oh okay. I just wanted to make sure I wasn’t like…coming on so strong just for you to be…taken again.”

“I’m not the one who moves lightening fast here…” you teased and he chuckled and bit down on his lip to suppress the laughter he wanted to let out, “Come on…you know it was funny.” You pressed as you giggled.

“Yeah, real fucking funny.” He grinned and you chuckled as you stood up from the floor, “Where are you going?”

“Nowhere, just up here. I wanna pick a really funny movie because I really like it when she gets all giggly.” You explained to Harry and he laughed as he also pushed himself up off the ground and joined you on the large king bed. You glanced down at the remote with about a bajillion buttons and scoffed as you tried to find the one that would bring up the list of the scheduled programming.

“Need some help?”

“I can do it.” You assured as you pressed yet another wrong button, “Doesn’t it usually say guide?” You asked and he chuckled.

“Yeah? Does it not?”

“No…” you hummed, “Here.” You said handing it over and he scanned over his options before just trying “menu” and hoping that would take him somewhere useful but nothing happened, “I think we’re on the menu page.” You said to him and he furrowed his eyebrows.

“Should we call the front desk?”

“Oh no, that’s humiliating. I think we can just press every button until we find it.” You sniggered and he handed it back over.

“You do it then.” 

“Gladly.” You hummed and started going button by button, after a few tries you gasped and you got it. “Oh! Hooray!” You exclaimed and he just watched you light up at such a tiny thing and it made his heart flutter at just how cute you were. That’s one thing he missed so much about you. You made such a big fuss over things, truly anything was an excuse to celebrate and be joyful. He missed being around that, there truly wasn’t a victory too small for you. Harry studied your face as you looked through the channels listed on the screen. “You’re staring.” You smiled without peeling your eyes from the screen.

“I know.” He responded and you glanced over to him to find him just admiring you. “You’re just so breathtaking.” he said softly. It made your heart flutter and for your tummy to feel all tingly as his gaze raked down your face and then landed on your lips. You had to look away because you swore your throat was closing up from how nervous you were. But when his hand landed under your jaw and angled you back up to look into his eyes you swallowed thickly.

“Har…” you whispered and squeezed your eyes shut.

“No, baby. Look at me. Please.” He insisted and you blinked your eyes open to look at him again with a racing pulse as he inched closer to you. Your noses touched and you lingered near each other nervously, eyes flickering between each others as your lips skimmed together as your breaths started getting heavier. Both of you were hoping one of you would be brave enough to bite the bullet or to just break it off. But preferably to follow through with the kiss.

“Fuck it.” You whispered before surging up to properly connect your lips. The first kiss was just a quick one, a tester almost since you both just looked at each other for a moment.

“One more.” He mumbled and you nodded before he leaned back in and held your neck gently as he kissed you deeper this time. But that kiss inevitably became a string of smiley pecks as you two tried to pull away. “Just one more then.” He smiled and you laughed a bit as he kissed over your top lip and then your bottom lip before he pulled back and your eyes met again. They were both sparkling with need and before you knew it your arms were around his neck and he was settling himself over you as your head sank into the fluffy pillow beneath you . Harry’s warm smooth lips moved in a perfectly synchronized and familiar dance with your own as you kissed ardently.

You moaned as he rolled you onto your sides and his arm draped over your hip and then slid under your shirt. His fingers tickled up your bare back before his hand flattened right beneath the band of your bra and pushed you closer to him. His thigh was trapped between your legs, allowing just a bit of friction for you. Your tongues slid together before he sucked on your bottom lip and then went back in to kiss you properly. Just as things were about to get a bit more heated you heard some heavy knocks on the door along with the room service call. 

“Mmm…need to get the food.” You mumbled against his mouth.

“In a second.” He hummed before licking into you again and you shuddered and moaned into his mouth at his intensity and fell back into the languid kiss. You were buzzing with excitement as he started to peck your lips a few times before slowly retreating until finally, you were both just panting heavily as you regained your breaths. “Okay, go.” He hummed softly with a smile.

“One more.” You whispered to him and he grinned and grabbed your face before pecking over your lips several times until you were both giggling through it, no amount of kisses were enough for either of you.

“Just leave or I won’t be able to stop.” He mumbled and you laughed, tossing your head back which caused him to kiss your chin. When you straightened up again he ran his thumb down your smile line, “Mmmm, I’ve missed your laugh. And your lips, and how you taste, and how you kiss me…” he muttered between gentle smooches. “It’s just not like this with anyone else.” He mumbled and you pressed your forehead against his.

“It’s really not.” You agreed, “Okay, let me get the food. And Caitlyn.” You said and he nodded before kissing the tip of your nose and letting you go. You rolled out of the bed and then hurried to get the door to wheel in your tray of food and then you went to grab Caitlyn who was already quite stoned. “Come to bed, we’re gonna watch a movie or something.”

“Kay.” She mumbled and followed you into the bedroom as you pushed the little cart in.

Harry rolled out of the bed and grabbed his sandwich before hopping back on and then you grabbed yours and got on the bed next. Caitlyn stayed standing as she picked at the fries on her plate.

“Get on.” You giggled and she sniggered.

“Oh right, right…” she hummed and got in behind you. “What’re we watching?” She asked as she leaned against the headboard.

“Oh, we’re watching Derry Girls. This thing has Netflix.” Harry said as he searched it up.

“How convenient that you know how it works now.” You said to him as he pointed the remote at the TV.

“Oh no, I just pressed something by mistake as I adjusted myself a bit.” He chuckled, “Well m-my position! I adjusted my position.” He clarified quickly for Caitlyn’s sake.

“Oh please, I only left to give you guys a moment. The sexual tension is suffocating.” Caitlyn said before biting into her sandwich and then moaning in delight at the perfectly crisp bread and then the gooey, warm cheese. “What you two have is what I have with this sandwich right now…fuck, that’s perfect…” she sighed happily. And you just giggled as you glanced to Harry and shrugged and he smiled and then you all started eating as the show started up.

The time for Harry to go came very swiftly and before you knew it, you and Caitlyn were getting in the elevator to walk him out to meet his driver. You all chatted a bit during the ride down and finally you were heading out to the lobby.

“Ummm Cait can you be a look out for a minute?” Harry asked her and she smiled and nodded as she reached for his suitcase and Harry grabbed your hand and pulled you into the stairwell. “I just wanted to hold you for a little bit.” He said and you smiled and hugged him tight and he sighed and squeezed you.

“You’re gonna be a alright, H.” You assured him, “And if at any point you’re not, I’m here for you. Always.” You assured him and you felt him nod in understanding. “I love you. So, so much.” You reminded him.

“I love you too.” He whispered back. After a few more moments you pulled back and tiptoed before you grabbed his face gently in your hands and smiled as you pressed a quick kiss to his lips.

“One for the road.” You hummed and he smiled.

“Thank you.”

“Of course.” You assured him and then you grabbed his hand and led him back out by the elevators.

“That was quick.” Caitlyn smirked and you both rolled your eyes at her as she giggled.

“You’re a menace.” Harry said as he grabbed his bag from her hands.

“I know.” She giggled.

“Come on. Can’t keep the driver waiting.” You said and then you guys headed out. 

The night was still warm and Harry greeted his driver before getting his bag in the car. There were a few people lingering outside who were now watching the three of you considering Harry was a hard person to miss, his energy alone commanded people’s attention. 

“Well thank you both for including me today. I had a lot of fun and I missed being with you guys.” He smiled.

“I’m glad you had a good time.”, “Of course, H.” You and Caitlyn ensured.

“A group hug is in order, I think.” He said and you both smiled and huddled around him.

“Don’t be a stranger.” Caitlyn hummed as you guys pulled apart.

“I won’t.” He assured with a smile before hugging her and then he hugged you. He held you a bit longer than Caitlyn before he released you.

“Let me know when you land and make it home safe. Okay?” You smiled up at him as you rubbed his arm sweetly and he nodded before hopping in the car. You guys waved him off and then headed back up to your suite.

“You know you’re gonna go way more viral now…” Caitlyn said and you sighed.

“No, I think people will say he cheated on Taylor with me and wreak havoc on me.” You said, realistically. 

“Well, he kinda did…” Caitlyn said through a chuckle.

“Oh, shut it.” You quipped and she laughed. “Fuck…he did though.”

“It was a kiss.” 

“A kiss she doesn’t know about.” Caitlyn reminded and you nibbled on your bottom lip as you rode back up to your floor.

“Maybe asking him to join us was a mistake? I mean…he looked far too happy for just being broken up with.”

“Friend, he hadn’t been happyfor a while now and it was all to do with the path his relationship was going down. Not you.” She said emphatically, “You both kept your end of the bargain by keeping your distance and seeing what would happen in the future. It was just hard for Taylor to live with the information that he still loves you. Do you think he’s polyamorous?” She asked you.

“I don’t know…maybe?” You shrugged.

“I mean, at least when we spoke about his predicament that’s what it sounded like to me. That he loved you but that he also loved Taylor and he wanted to try and keep his feelings for you “on pause” somehow to work on his relationship with her.” She explained and you hummed. “But I think to her it was hard to come to terms that he was in love with you while simultaneously being in love with her. And I told him that it just doesn’t work for some people, they don’t see how love can be expansive like that in a committed relationship. My first ever girlfriend in college, Jen, was poly. And I thought I was okay with it, she said she could be monogamous, just her feelings continued to exist for others. She had this friend though that she loved too, it was just so obvious how they felt for each other and it sucked. It started to affect how I felt in that relationship. She never crossed a line and neither did he, but I just felt really insecure in it. I understand it so much better now, I mean I was only 19 when I dated her. But I fully understand why for Taylor it was just not possible to move forward with Harry if this is her first time in a situation like this.” She explained and you nodded. “And I mean, I think that you also need to figure out if that’s something you can live with if he is.” She said.

“Right…”

“Like I get that you guys are like each other’s person, but that doesn’t mean he can’t meet and love someone else along the way, you know?”

“Yeah, that’s true…I mean, just seeing how he was trying to accommodate things to support Taylor’s needs gives me a sense of peace. But I mean, we should definitely have a conversation about what this might look like for him in the future whenever we get back to a stage where we’ll have a relationship.”

“I agree.” Caitlyn said.

Overall, you felt good about where you were now to be back in touch with Harry if he needed you at any point. You were also extremely proud of yourself for the way you handled the situation about your future together. Of course, you would run into his arms at a moment’s notice, but he was sad and he needed to grieve the wonderful person he had lost. He did love Taylor, at least enough to put all of his effort into making up for breaking her trust. It had just happened and you really wanted to give him time to sit with the situation and work through the hard feelings you knew would come soon.

As soon as you guys landed early the next morning you, Harry, and Caitlyn were plastered all over social media per a call from your manager. She sent you a link and you looked and sure enough there were photos and videos of you three talking and skipping through central park, looking like you were having the best day of your lives. You showed Caitlyn who just mumbled a low “it is what it is” and you bit your lip.

JENNY L:

And there’s also this one…

You saw her next text and then clicked on the linked article and when it loaded you couldn’t help but snort out a laugh as you read the obscenely cheesy title of the gossip article: “STYLES CHOOSES TO SKIP OUT ON TAYLOR!” It was staring at you in big, bold red font. But your stomach twisted a bit in anxiety as you scrolled down the article recounting what witnesses had said to the tabloid. There were quotes in the same bold font saying how you guys seemed really “happy”, “cozy”, and “familiar with each other.” And of course there was a short clip of him whispering into your ear while you hugged and gently scratched at his back at the coffee shop. Also of you glancing up at him and the both of you smiling when you joked with him about having visible boogies… you smiled at the memory but you knew that what would surely come next when the both of you gave no real explanation to this. Towards the bottom of it there was one more photo, one of the only ones ever taken of you two a couple years into your relationship. You guys had been walking back to his house in London after having some lunch. It explained how it seemed that you guys had been familiar at some point and maybe you’d lost touch but were back in touch after the MET.

JENNY L:

I already have a few reporters reaching out for commentary. Please tell me you guys didn’t do something bad…

Y/N:

No, don’t worry about this. Taylor actually broke up with him after a MET after party. There was an incident, I’ll call and explain when I get home. We’re in the car service right now on our way back from LAX.

JENNY L:

For sure. 

Y/N:

I’ll also call Harry and see what his team is going to do.

JENNY L:

For now don’t. I’ll get in touch with Jeffrey and Tommy. I know they’ll want to isolate him from this as much as possible. I’ll be standing by for your phone call.

Y/N:

Sounds good. Talk soon!

Jenny “hearted” your message and you guys drove off to your place in silence. Caitlyn had left her car at your place and since Sebastian and you had broken up she decided to keep some things at your place for impromptu sleep overs. So as soon as you got in she went to get some more sleep in the guest bedroom while you called Jenny and explained what had happened the night before. It hadn’t been anything bad, but you then explained what Caitlyn had shared about how Harry and Taylor were struggling with getting back on track after he admitted he had feelings for you.

“…so yeah, there wasn’t anything fishy per se apart from that. We actually hadn’t even spoken since we saw each other last year. Taylor never attempted to contact me or anything either, we don’t even know each other. Just that little run-in in the bathroom which no one saw.” You shared with Jenny, “So uh, no connections there either.”

“Okay, sounds good. Already the fans are labeling you a home wrecker, they really liked them together.”

“Yeah, I was expecting that.” You sighed.

“Oh, Jeffrey just texted me!” Jenny said and opened it up, “Okay he said that Harry wants to clarify that you have been close friends since you were 19 years old but that he’s not all that sure that they should do that because you guys having a history could mean more of a logical framework for any theories of cheating.”

“Yeah, like we were so close that it eventually led to that…” you said, “I mean we could just both go no comment. I know we didn’t do anything wrong so… ”

“Yeah, I agree. I guess Harry doesn’t want to “hide you from his life” is what Jeff just said.” She shared and you bit your lip.

“I think I need to talk to Harry ,this is something he feels like he might owe me for. When we dated, I mean, you know…we were both so worried about the public ruining it for us. He did tell me that he felt bad that he let his fear of what others might think get in the way of us living our lives. And that it sometimes felt like we never happened because everything was so hidden. He said he wished that everyone could’ve seen how happy we make each other. He could be wanting to make up for that…”

“Mmmm, okay. Let me tell Jeffrey to get him on the line, we can do a group call or FaceTime?”

“Yeah, that’s alright.” You assured her.

“Okay I’ll call you back.”

“Yeah.” 

A few minutes later a call was coming in with the three of them and Jenny, and you guys started to discuss. Tommy said that he had tried to get in touch with Taylor’s team but she didn’t want to weigh in on anything as she was still dealing with the decision to break up with him. Harry understood that, so they weren’t going to get a confirmation from her any time soon that she had ended the relationship.

“H, I completely understand why you want to release that statement but I think it’ll only perpetuate the idea that we were doing things behind her back.”

“I just don’t want to hide that you make me happy anymore.” He sighed.

“We’re not, I mean the pictures are everywhere.” You said with a small smile, “People can see it but we don’t owe them any explanations about it. I don’t think we should address speculations.”

“Yeah, yeah you’re right.” He finally agreed and everyone looked relieved.

“I think if we gradually increase your time together it might make it look more natural?” Tommy suggested.

“What about private photos? What if we have an “iCloud leak”-”

“Absolutely not.” Harry cut Jenny off.

“Well Harry, that might establish what you want without having to say anything.” Jeffrey explained.

“We could choose what we release. Just things from birthdays or shows, parties…” you suggested, “We could show them this is nothing new, that we were always like this.” You smiled.

“Okay, fine…I mean, even Caitlyn has some stuff on her instagram from years ago…I was…looking.” He said and you smiled. “Oh shut it…” he chuckled as you all laughed.

“She’s on private though…always has been.” You reminded and he hummed.

“What if she’s the one that gets “hacked”. People are starting to look into who she is as well. I already saw one article that identified that she’s a screenwriter, I’m sure more people will be trying to see how she’s linked.” Jeffrey chimed in.

“I’ll have to ask her…I don’t want her to give up her privacy for us.” You said and Harry agreed.

“Well I think that would be the best case if she gives us access to her instagram and iCloud. But if not, then we just do the iCloud leak from one of your accounts.” Jeffrey decided. “Start looking through your pictures guys.”

You guys agreed on this strategy and you agreed you’d ask Caitlyn when she woke up. Of course, your best friend listened with an open mind and wasn’t even reluctant to agree and help you guys out. She knew that you guys had messed up when you saw each other that first time, but your commitment to let each other try and live your own lives really showed her that you guys regretted betraying your partners, so of course she wanted to help you both now. When she checked her instagram there were already tons of DM’s and follow requests waiting for her. She wasn’t even verified, she really just used this for personal things, so it would be understandable if she got hacked now that she was connected to you and Harry. Over the next few days your teams figured out the logistics of this plan and Caitlyn shared with you and Harry any pictures that she had of you guys on her iCloud and then a few weeks later the “leak” happened. 

Screenshots of Caitlyn's grid were taken and leaked on twitter from years back and it worked. People were immediately finding what you guys wanted them to find. Then two days later the “iCloud leak” happened. With this stunt, a solid timeline of your and Caitlyn’s friendship with Harry was established. There weren’t too many photos but the ones that fans were circulating the most were the ones of you two with Harry while he was still in the band. Of you guys at Caitlyn’s 25th birthday party with you and Harry kissing her cheek on either side. There was a video of you and Harry doing karaoke, a couple of pictures and a video of Caitlyn and Harry at your first big, sold out show in London. And finally one of him painting your nails with a prototype of what fans soon discovered was now the Pleasing polish “inky pearl”. It had to appear as though “the hacker” had intentionally dug through years of things to find this specific content. And once those were out into the world the tune changed and people thought it was cute that you guys had been friends for that long. People were saying that you guys appeared to be really into each other even back then and that you would make a cute couple.

Naturally, that started shifting the narrative into “maybe Harry dumped Taylor and was just out with his old friends to cheer up a bit”, which was mostly right. But once that became the main rumor an anonymous source leaked to a few gossip news outlets that Taylor had actually been the one to dump Harry the night of the MET. Obviously, Harry and Tommy had been in on that with her representatives because they didn’t want her looking like the chump when she had been the one that did the dumping. And once that came out the internet went wild and people were overwhelmed with the knowledge that his old friends truly were comforting him after a break up and that Taylor had dumped Harry because they were “growing apart”. 

You were fine, but having that all out there in print is what really seemed to make it real for Harry and he started to disappear a bit. You knew he needed space and time to process and heal, so you gave it. You didn’t want to bug him or make him feel pressured, so you assured him that he didn’t have to talk to you if he wasn’t in the mood. But if he didn’t mind, you’d just check in every few days, say hi, send some encouragements and he agreed to that. It was all very one sided as the months inched by and boy, did you miss him, but he really needed to get through this on his own terms.

…. August 2024 ….

Harry’s POV:

When Taylor returned to London in early June to pick up her things from his place it was extremely bittersweet for him to see how she looked so much lighter in terms of her mood and persona as a whole. She didn’t look tired or stressed how she had towards the end of their relationship. She looked more like herself and even sounded like herself, all bubbly and optimistic about things. It made him feel really happy for her, but it also made him sad, knowing that he contributed to her unhappiness. Knowing that he had hurt her enough to dull the gorgeous and bright person that she had been before. The person that he had fallen in love with. He even tried to kiss her when she was leaving and nearly died of embarrassment when she rejected him, but he understood.

He and Tommy did share the PR plan you guys made and assured her that you were cautious in trying to keep her out of it as much as possible. But he heard from her again when the public brought her into the picture and she wanted to set the record straight and he agreed that she should, he didn’t mind it. But once all of it felt resolved he just crashed. 

He stopped talking to you around the second week of June because he just didn’t have the energy. But you had been kind and checked in, assuring him he didn’t need to answer, but you just wanted to encourage him a bit. It meant the world to him that you understood to keep doing that, but still giving him the space he needed to get through this. For months now he had allowed himself to feel it, like you told him he needed to do. And god, it hurt…it hurt so much, but it was relieving to have felt it all. The sadness had faded seemingly very suddenly, he just woke up one day and didn’t feel hopeless. He missed you though, he wanted to see you so badly but he had no idea when too soon was “too soon”. 

Y/N:

This popped up on my pinterest feed! IT’S YOU! Lololol. I laughed so hard and it’s so, so cute. I hope today is better 💛

Harry’s head knocked back as he laughed at the little image on his screen. It really was him and the fact that even the text said “Feel it all” was extremely fateful. He smiled and “hearted” the message before setting his phone down on the counter and turned to go make himself some coffee. Seconds later he came back and unlocked his phone and texted his assistant to book him a one-way ticket to LA for next week.

****************

Y/N POV:

Your summer had been very nice so far. You genuinely were not worried about Harry in the slightest, you knew that healing took time and he knew well that you’d be waiting whenever he was ready. After seeing the way things worked out after the MET, you had a restored sense of hope in fate and the universe, so you let it be. For the time being you were having a lot of fun in the studio working on some new things. You were also spending a lot of time with friends and with Ricky too. You guys were just enjoying what you had going on. It wasn’t a routine at all, your hookups were sporadic and spontaneous, like now…

“Oh fuck yes, right there!” You mewled as his long fingers prodded into your g-spot as his thumb glided over your clit over and over at the perfect pace.

“Shhh…” he chuckled as he looked around briefly. You were in a hidden little nook at the studio. Everyone had gone for lunch but someone could always come in at any moment. “Look so fucking pretty today. You wore it for me, didn’t you?” He mumbled against your lips and you smiled.

“F'ourse.” You panted and then inhaled sharply as your walls fluttered around his fingers as your orgasm neared. It always took longer for you to come standing, so you’d been there a while. “I’m getting close…fuck, faster!” You implored and he listened and started pumping his fingers faster until your legs were trembling. Your head knocked back against the wall and you huffed out a laugh at the thud, but it wasn’t enough to deter you from coming.

“Come for me, Y/N.”

“Yeah, jus’don’t stop…don’t stop…oh my god, I’m coming!” Your moan broke through your throat and he brought his other hand over your mouth to mute your sounds. Your arms hugged around him to keep yourself upright as your knees went weak and shook at the waves of pleasure coursing through you. Your walls were pulsing rapidly around his fingers as you rode it out. He removed his hand from your mouth as you started panting and wrapped it around your waist while his fingers continued fucking into you slowly to help you ease off of your climax. You angled up and kissed his lips before smiling giddily, your eyes all sparkly and heavy with lust.

“Y’good now?” He asked with a grin after a minute or two and you nodded.

“Yeah.” You confirmed and he let go of you and pulled out his fingers before sucking them clean. 

He tugged your skirt back down to where it was before your little romp session. Your lips met eagerly for several moments, smearing together and connecting fervently. As much as you wanted to, you couldn’t return the favor now, there wasn’t time. So you kissed him to show your gratitude for his immediate attention to your obvious need. 

“So after the afternoon session do you want t-” you paused when you thought you heard a door close.

“What’s-”

“Shhh.” You shushed him quickly and he froze as you definitely heard some movement in the control room. 

“Maybe they’re just grabbing something?” He whispered and you both stayed quiet trying to hear anything else, whoever it was wasn’t leaving.

“Where’s my underwear?” You asked him and he patted at his pocket and then glanced around to find that they had not stayed in his pocket.

“I think they fell out of my pocket in the live room somewhere.” He said and you groaned quietly. He peeked out a bit and saw them near the large amp you’d been sitting on before you moved into this little nook. “They fell out near the amp.” He said regretfully and you swore your brain melted from how embarrassed you were. If anyone walked into the live room they would surely see them. And then the worst thing that could happen did, you both heard the soft creak of the door to the live room opening.

“Shit!” You whispered and decided to just get out there. Maybe you could grab them before they even noticed and hurry out to the bathroom and Ricky would just stay hidden until the coast was clear. “OK, I’m gonna grab them. Just stay until I come get you.” You whispered and he nodded. You exhaled shakily and then stepped out of your little corner only see Harry Styles himself stop as he approached the piano bench, thankfully on the other side of the room. He smiled wide as soon as he saw you.

“Surprise!” He exclaimed through a chuckle and you reared back a bit, at least to kick your panties behind the amp so he wouldn’t see them on the floor. “Why are you backing away, come here!” He chuckled and you glanced down quickly to see they were hidden enough before hurrying over to him.

“W-what’re you doing here?” You asked him with a smile as he sighed and hugged around you and then squeezed a bit tighter. You were completely flustered now and distracted and he could feel the weirdness you were exuding as you cut your hug short.

“I just wanted to surprise you.” He explained and you nodded.

“That’s really sweet of you.” You said and he chuckled as he took you in for a moment.

“Are you OK?” He asked and you nodded quickly.

“Of course!”

“Are you sure? I mean, I know I kind of just showed up but I was expecting a little more enthusiasm form you after not seeing each other for months.” He chuckled and then the next worst thing happened, Ricky’s phone started ringing. Of course he had to have Patrick Star saying “Leedle-leedle-leedle-lee” as his ringtone. Your face fell into your hands in absolute mortification as Harry burst into laughter at the very random interruption, “Is that your ringtone?” He gasped through his laugh and you shook your head, still hiding your face in your hands. “Oh. Then…” he sighed and you glanced up at him, “Oh…” he said more quietly and you exhaled.

“Ummm, Ricky it’s fine. It’s Harry.” You said and he stepped out from the little hidden corner seconds later. He looked between you and Harry with painfully embarrassed smile. But he inhaled sharply and pushed the feelings aside.

“Hello Harry, I’m Ricky.” He said extending his hand out and you winced.

“Mmmm, maybe don’t do that right now.” You said softly and he glanced down at his hand and then pulled it back once he realized that he had just used that same hand to finger fuck you.

“Right, ummm…”

“Just, come here.” You said as you went behind him and gabbed his arms to corral him out of the studio and to the bathrooms. “And you, stay here please.” You called back at Harry who just nodded, still quite shocked at what he’d walked into and moments later you had emerged into the hall and exhaled shakily.

“Oh god, that was bad! That was so bad!” He panted nervously.

“I know! Fuck…”

“Did you get your underwear.”

“No! He was already in there, I just kicked them behind the amp.” You explained. “Look, I ummm, I think I need to talk to him alone for a little. Just go wash up and let everyone know to take another thirty or so?”

“Yeah, OK.” He nodded and then chuckled, “I’m sorry to put you in this position.”

“It’s fine, I was the one that was too impatient to wait until after.” You reminded and he chuckled.

“True…” he mused with a grin, “Ummm, well you go deal with that and I’ll go stall everyone a little.”

“Thank you.” You breathed out and then inhaled slowly.

“Hey, it’s gonna be fine. OK?” He smiled and you nodded with your bottom lip bitten beneath your front teeth out of nerves, you needed to take it out on something, “Go on.” He insisted and you turned around and headed back into the studio. When you entered the control room and looked out the large window into the live room Harry glanced back at you from his seat on the piano bench. You headed back in a bit timidly and he smiled at you.

“You alright?”

“Yeah! Sorry about that, it just…happened.” You explained bashfully and he nodded.

“Yeah, I get that.” He smiled, “S’good to put a face to the name.”

“Oh yeah…” you hummed and shook your head again. Harry chuckled and reached for your hand before hesitating.

“Is your hand clean?” He asked before grabbing it and you chuckled but nodded. “OK.” He hummed and stood before grabbing both of your hands and running his thumbs over your knuckles. “I’m fine.” He assured you, “Well…maybe fuming inside…just a little…” he confessed.

“Don’t worry, it was just that, not sex, m’not that crazy.”

“And I wonder whose idea that was, you little exhibitionist.” You teased and you shook your head as you giggled.

“Either way, ummm I am happy you’re here.” You said, “So can we have a do over?” You asked and he chuckled.

“Of course.” He said and released your hands before wrapping them around your shoulders and pulling you in. You hugged around him and leaned into him.

“I’m really happy to see you. Missed you.” 

“Me too.”

“So what made you come out here?” You asked and he pulled back a bit, his hands grabbed your face gently.

“The froggy picture.” He admitted and you laughed and he bit his lip as he watched you laugh. You were so pretty, he was glad he saved seeing you again for the first time for this face to face encounter.

“When I saw that little cardigan on him I just about died.” You recalled, giggled at the memory. “It’s so cute.”

“Yeah, it was cute.” He agreed, “You look so pretty today.” He complimented.

“Thanks. You too.” You hummed and he chuckled.

“Mmm…particularly like you in this skirt. Though it is a bit skimpy…” he pointed out and you smiled.

“Yeah, s’quite short.” You agreed.

“Then you might be…” he reached down and hooked on his index finger was your underwear, “needing these back.” He hummed and you felt your face heating in embarrassment as you glanced over to them and then to him. He was smirking and you reached for them and he raised them out of your reach. “Mmm…just a little higher, love.” 

“If I reach any higher my ass will show.” You laughed and he did as well.

“So unprofessional…” he mumbled and you rolled your eyes before looking deep into his eyes pleadingly.

“Please.” You insisted, “Would love it if I didn’t flash anyone at work today.” You said and he chuckled and lowered them so that you could reach for them but then pulled them away from you. 

“May I?” He asked and you bit your lip. He smirked at your response, “I’ll take that as a yes.” He hummed and stepped forwards, effectively backing you up until you bumped into the piano, the higher keys at the end clanked discordantly as your weight pressed them down and your gazes met as you both sniggered in amusement at the happy little accident. The sound seemed to reverberate forever, that’s how tense it was between you two. He crouched down and spread them out for you, allowing you to step into them as he stood and pulled them up your legs and finally over your center. He really tried his best not to look or lean in when he got them up to your pussy. He knew you were wet, but it was not from what he had walked in on, it was all for him. It probably had been all along, he didn’t want to assume, but he hoped. He really hoped. “There you are.” He hummed as his fingers fixed the straps along your hips, tugging on them a bit to straighten them out.

“Thank you.” You said softly.

“Of course.” He smiled as he fixed your skirt again and placed his hands on your hips. You suddenly smiled even wider and he giggled, “What’s that cute little smile about, then?”

“Nothing. Just thinking that you’ve never… I don’t think you’ve ever done that before?” You shrugged.

“Mmm…surely I have.” He mused, his face scrunching a bit in thought, “Or not…maybe not…” he decided a few seconds later. “I’m glad I was clever enough to pull it off.”

“Oh yeah, that was…a moment.”

“Core memory?” He smirked.

“Oh yeah, core memory.” You smiled and just hugged him again and he hummed happily, “You’re staying, right?”

“Yeah, if you want me to.” He mumbled and you pulled back.

“Yeah, of course. Could use some of your expertise. A little Styles sparkle.” You flirted.

“I like that!” He chuckled, “M’stealing it.”

“Okay.” You giggled. “Caitlyn’s friend, Melissa, from the pilates studio? Well she’s my friend too kinda, but more Cait’s. Either way, she’s having a little pool party with cocktails. It’s a casual thing. If you wanna come, I’m sure we’ll end up ordering in.”

“Oh yeah, that sounds nice.” He smiled. “I-is Ricky coming?” He asked.

“Ummm, maybe? If you don’t mind?” He shook his head and you squinted your eyes suspiciously.

“I swear.” He chuckled.

“OK.” You said softly. You let each other go and then grabbed your phone from a music stand a few feet away. 

“Have you eaten?” He asked

“Nope.”

“Want to go pick something up together?” He asked and you nodded.

“Sure.” You said and soon you were heading off to the closest thing before heading back to the studio with your food.

It was nice sitting with him while you two ate and talked casually about your music and what you wanted out of it. You were trying to find the words to describe what you wanted this project to be and what you wanted it to evoke. You missed talking to him about this kind of thing. Harry just had a real gift for expressing everything he was trying to express when he made his music. And at the moment, you felt like your vision just wasn’t cohesive, or at least you felt that way.

“…I don’t know, I’m a bit lost on this process, I guess.” You decided finally when you started bouncing between ideas, “I don’t even know why I wanted to do an album anymore…” you confessed with some sadness.

“What initially pushed you to decide?”

“I think seeing you, the weird things with Seb…I mean, I just feel kind of like things have taken a twist I didn’t expect. And I’m just…lost. I feel lost, even though I shouldn’t be. I feel like what I need to do next in life is kinda a no brainer, but-”

“A no brainer to who?” He asked and you shrugged, “Everyone I guess. But I also feel…like…I’m in a glass house.” You said and he hummed, “I feel like everything right now is really fragile right now. With my heart and my head…with this album, I know that it’s been a while so I need t-to deliver, I mean obviously. And then w-with us too.” You explained and he hummed, “I just don’t even know where to start to be honest. And I think…that shows in the music. It’s going to be a big, fat flop.” You chuckled sadly, “I can just feel it. It’s murky…”

“I mean, you always know what I think. At the end of the day you have to like what you produced. And you have to be proud of it. I get that we do this for a living, but it’s also our entire heart and mind in those songs. All the things we’ve dealt with during this time, the joys the sorrows…I mean, that’s what we’re putting out there for everyone to judge and feeling like it doesn’t make sense anymore can be scary. But honestly, things don’t make sense for a lot people out there, and hearing that just might help them feel not so shitty about it.” He said and you hummed.

“Is it crazy that I really want to embrace another sound? I don’t even know what it falls under, but I just want it to sound exactly how I hear it in my brain.” You explained, “Like…” you paused and chuckled, “there are lines I wrote while I was like at the grocery store or stuck in traffic, and like I can only hear them in that setting. Like just to show how banal my life is, you know? Like, I want to put in the beep of the check out machine in or staticky radio chatter about the heat wave, my alarm going off in the morning, the chirp of the fire alarm I haven’t changed…I was thinking of maybe putting in some like voice notes between the tracks, like texts with friends, or little things I make to remember what I need to buy at the store. Like I want it to be like a day through my perspective I guess…almost like the music is narrating a routine?” You explained and he nodded and smiled.

“I think that’s really cool.” He said and you bit your lip.

“It’s not too…messy and chaotic?”

“No, it is for sure, the layering is going to be insane.” He said and you chuckled and nodded, “But it’s a cool concept. Like basically if your life was a kind of like a musical.” He said and your eyes widened.

“Exactly.” You sighed and smiled, “Wow…who knew a word for that already existed.” You chuckled and he did as well, “I was struggling for a while there trying to describe what I wanted. Thank you!” You said and he chuckled.

“Happy to help.”

When everyone returned you shared a more clear idea of what it was that you wanted. You wanted things to be a little odd but as real as possible. This helped your producers and sound engineers adjust what they were doing a bit to make editing easier on themselves. At some point Harry was at the help of the control panel, pressing buttons and raising and lowering settings, asking you to go again.

“Hey man, how about in that bit there where she ends the bridge, she does the final chorus in an octave lower and we fade it out from studio into the raw audio. I believe this is one of the songs where the demo is from her voice notes.” Ricky suggested and Harry smiled.

“Yeah actually, that’s sick.” He nodded and then he told you what Ricky was thinking. “He says we can layer them and blend it, so just try the chorus in a lower octave and the rest will be done via editing.” He instructed and gave him a thumbs up before running it again. 

After another couple of hours of working, your day was coming to an end. Everyone started cleaning up after themselves and you invited Ricky to Melissa’s place and soon he was heading off and assuring you he’d be there later. Harry was chatting with one of the other sound engineers, Billy, as you looked around the space one final time to ensure you weren’t leaving anything behind for the night.

“I was just telling Harry that now what you were asking of us makes a lot more sense.” Billy said and you chuckled.

“See. I wasn’t crazy!”  

“Yeah… it’s gonna be cool, what you’re doing.”

“Thank you. I think so too. I mean, I know I enjoy those kinds of things when I listen to music, so I hope others like it as well.”

“Oh yeah, people are suckers for that.” He smiled, “Well, I’ll see you tomorrow.” Billy said to you, “And it was nice to meet you.” He said to Harry, “Will you be joining us again?”

“Ummm…” Harry said as he glanced over to you.

“Well, you’re always welcome. You know that.” You said to him and he smiled.

“Then I guess I’ll see you tomorrow.” He said and Billy chuckled. You guys exchanged a few more words before Billy headed out.

“So where are you staying?” You asked as you put things into your tote bag.

“Not sure yet. I don’t know how long I’m staying for, so I didn’t want to book a hotel indefinitely, you know?”

“Yeah, I get that.” You hummed, “Well if you need a place to crash for a bit I’ve got an extra room. Caitlyn already claimed one room.” You said and he chuckled.

“Of course she has…” he grinned and you smiled, “Well yeah, if it’s no bother. And like, I know that I came for you-”

“That’s what she said.” You slipped in and he laughed and rolled his eyes as you giggled.

“Real funny…now, I know that I came here to see you, but I’d also understand if you didn’t want me in your house.” He chuckled.

“I’d love you in my house.” You said and he smiled.

“Then let’s get going.” He responded and you grinned.

*****************

“Welcome!” You chirped as you opened the back door to let Harry in with his big ass suitcase.

“Thanks.” He chuckled.

“Do you remember where my room is?”

“Yeah.”

“Okay, well yours is the one right beside it.” You said and he nodded and took off. You put your bag down to wash the tumbler you used for your coffee that morning. And after that you headed off to get changed. When you passed by Harry was just stripping off his pants and you turned away quickly before rushing into your room. You first got your shirt off and then got your make up off. You’d be swimming anyway, so it was pointless to have it on. Once you got done with that you went to pick out a bathing suit which you quickly changed into. You were throwing your skirt back on when Harry announced himself. “What’s up?” You asked and he came over to your closet.

“Nothing, just wondering what was taking you so long.”

“Oh, sorry. I was taking off my makeup. Let me just grab a shirt.” You said and just grabbed the first one within reach and threw it on. You slid your feet into your sandals and then tugged at his shirt as you breezed past him. “Let’s go.”

“Hey…hey, hey, hey come here.” He said reaching around you and stopping you as you giggled.

“What?” You asked him and he just hugged you and released a long exhale. You smiled and rubbed over his back softly, fingers dancing across his shirt as you held him for a little while. 

“I’m really happy to be here.” He spoke quietly.

“Oh me too, H. I missed you a lot. It was getting hard not to hear from you.” You spoke softly before tiptoeing and kissing low on his cheek. His lips twitched up in a little smile and you ran your thumb over his bottom lip. He kissed the pad of your thumb a couple times before letting you go and grabbing your face, pulling you in closer to him.

“Can I?” He asked and you nodded quickly. 

Just a moment later his lips were pushing and pulling against your own slowly in a deep and emotional kiss. It was nostalgic and magical; your body felt alive and tingly all over. Moreover, the raw emotion of the tension finally bursting was overwhelming in the best way. It felt like you had just jumped into a cool pool on a hot summer’s day. You were so in the moment that you forgot to breathe, so you suddenly pulled back to do so. And his mouth chased after yours, pecking around your lips as you inhaled sharply. When your eyes blinked open and met his, you smiled and his cheeks went all warm and pink. Suddenly you were transported back to the time when you had kissed for the very first time. He was smiling then too, relieved to have kissed you. And you were in mental shambles as you relished in what had just happened. It felt like the beginning again. He started to pull back and you arched up and kissed him again.

“Not yet.” You whispered and he sighed and pulled you closer. His thumbs stroked over your cheeks as your lips met over and over again in soft little pecks in between deep kisses. Your noses nuzzled against each other for a few seconds.

“D’you wanna drive?”

“Yeah, sure.” You smiled and were heading off a few minutes later.

****************

Harry was actually having a nice time at this pool party/dinner thing. He was glad he had come because he needed the distraction. He was afraid of the conversation he was going to have with you about polyamory and how he believed that he fit under this category. He was nervous because of how this had impacted his previous relationship. He had spent the past couple months talking to his therapist every couple of weeks on the phone to help him through the depression and grief of his relationship. His therapist mentioned that a friend of hers is a sex therapist and she asked him if he would be interested in having her come sit in on a few of their sessions and then take the lead for a few about this new discovery he had made about himself and he agreed and he would be meeting her for the first time the following day.

He had also been keeping a keen eye on the interactions between you and Ricky. Ricky and him kept making awkward eye contact and he was acting really relaxed with you. He figured it was because Ricky was a bit intimidated or still feeling weird about him walking in on you guys. Either way, Harry was being more of a spectator for now.

“Hey, what’s the matter?” You asked as you came up to him after emerging from the pool.

“Nothing, just watching everyone. Thinking…”

“About?”

“Me. You. Us…” he said as he made space on the big chaise lounge he was on. 

He patted the space beside him and you climbed on, legs crossed as you faced him and you extended your hand out towards his and just grazed your fingers over his own discreetly before pulling away. This little gesture transported Harry back to your fifth date. He remembered it so clearly, you guys had gone out to eat and even though you had a private dinging area, he still wouldn’t hold your hand because he was worried that someone might see and then it would all get out and things would surely go to shit. He remembered because he did that same gesture to you that you’d just done to him. Just a feather of a touch to ease your need and want to be closer to him in that moment. 

“Did you feel…invalidated when we were together?” He asked, seemingly out of the blue and you hummed pensively. “Like not seen or maybe…less important than you were to me?”

“Maybe a little bit at the start but it went away quickly. I knew it was because of the band and all those crazy rules they had for you guys.” You said and he nodded, “But after all that ended I was expecting you to change a little bit? Lax up about being together in public and things like that.” You explained, “I didn’t feel like you hid us because I wasn’t good enough for you. I know all that was sort of a deal breaker for you then, so I just went along with it because I mean, I hadn’t dated anyone with your level of fame before. I just figured you knew the best way to deal and go about that.” You shrugged and he hummed.

“What you did just now, touched my hand?” He said and you nodded, urging him to continue, “I did that to you, on our fifth date. You just wanted to hold my hand over the table top at the restaurant.” He chuckled sadly, “And I wouldn’t. Do you remember?” 

“Vaguely.”

“We were in some tiny little private dining room…” he reminded you.

“Oh yeah…” you hummed.

“I’m sorry.”

“For?”

“That.” He said and you hummed. “I wish I had been braver. And I feel the same now. I think if I had listened to other people and been more open and braver about the things I think or feel sometimes then maybe I wouldn’t be so carelessly hurtful towards others.”

“You’re not a hurtful person, H. At least not intentionally. You have concerns and fears and doubts like everyone else and sometimes that can affect how you relate to and interact with others. But I mean, you dealt with things the best way you knew how at the time, right?”

“Yeah.���

“Then, good. You did your best to protect what we had and I trusted you and your approach. I don’t hold it against you.” You said and he nodded.

“So just now then, you didn’t do that because you’re like…conditioned to be unaffectionate towards me in public?” He asked and you smiled and shook your head.

“No, it was just a little reassuring thing.”

“Okay.” He smiled, “You can, by the way. I want to hold your hand.” He said as he reached for yours resting flat over your thigh.

“Oh, like right now?” 

“Yeah. Can I?” He asked.

“Yeah, if you want to.” You smiled.

“Do you want me to though?”

“Yeah!” You laughed a bit and he smiled and pulled your hand into the small space between your bodies. His fingers intertwined with yours and you smiled up at him.

The one thing that you kept feeling was eager anticipation. You loved Harry at the core of who he was and every part of him that you’d known and experienced over the years. The prospect of getting to know him again, this version of him that you were the most unfamiliar with, it was exciting. Even just being around him you felt in tune, on the same wave length as him. When your gazes met you felt curiosity and interest in understanding what was going on in his brain in a far deeper way than before. You’d happily spend the rest of your days learning about him and loving who he was now and who he would become over time. You smiled to yourself as you thought of him in 10-15 years, with you. Happy, fulfilled, it was making you emotional.

“Hey, what’s on your mind?” He asked softly.

“You.” You responded, you didn’t mean for it to come out as a whisper, but it did. You were just so in your head now as you gave thought to all of this. To all of him.

“What about me? You seem like you’re about to cry.” He said lowly with a bit of concern.

“They’d be happy tears then.” You assured him and he smiled. “Was just thinking about you, how far you’ve come. Well, the both of us, and how I’m jus so excited t-to get to know you again. And just thinking about the future, like…what we can have. Like…we’re different than…five years ago, you know?”

“Yeah, a little more grown up.” He smiled.

“A lot more grown up.” You chuckled, “And I think it could only get better the older we get.” You said and he smiled.

“It will.” He said decisively, “I’m also excited about getting to know you in a deeper way again.” He said and you smiled as a comfortable silence took over for a minute or so. But then he spoke up again, “Honestly, I don’t think there’s a reality in which I wouldn’t be in love with you.” He confessed with a bashful smile and your gaze softened as it met his own, “I mean that.”

“I know. I feel the same way.” You responded, your heart was pounding so hard you felt it in your throat. 

Harry just smiled and let his thumb smooth over your knuckles as you just looked at each other. His eyes flickered between your own, taking in every possible detail. He loved how the sun streaks showed off the pattern of your irises. He loved how you looked back at him with so much adoration. He wanted everything with you. He couldn’t even contain the fluttering feeling in his tummy as he thought about you when you had a baby with him and looked at them the way you were looking at him now. With love, acceptance, pride, and every other good feeling and intention you could muster up.

“I need you to know that we’re making it this time.” He whispered and you nodded.

“Yeah we are.” You whispered back with a smile.

*********************

You were quite nervous as you made it back from the studio the next day. You’d had a great and productive day and you hoped Harry had too. You were feeling a vast range of emotions as you tried to picture where the conversation would end up. Especially after the intimate things you had told each other the evening before. You had even called your mom on your lunch break to just get all the irrational, anxiety inducing things off of your chest. She was excited for the possibility of you and Harry working things out after all this time. She and your father loved how he looked after you and were very supportive of your relationship with him back then and it was no different now, he and his family had left a really great impression on them. And your family on his, you still spoke to Anne and Gemma and a few of his cousins for birthdays and little things like that. Obviously, you kept a respectful distance, especially since he dated quite quickly after, but you had grown to love the people in his life too. 

“Hello?” You spoke out into the car when you answered his incoming call.

“Hey, love. Just checking if I can open any of the wine bottles you have? Or are some special?”

“Nah, have at it.” You assured him.

“Perfect. Are you close by?”

“Yeah, about 10 minutes away.”

“Great! See you soon.” He hummed, “Be safe.”

“Thanks, H.” You hummed and he hung up.

*****************

As soon as you made it inside you were greeted with an absolutely divine aroma and “Always Alright” by Alabama Shakes was playing from the kitchen. You bopped your head along as you pushed the door back and it landed into the frame with a loud thump.

“I’m home!” You called out as you toed out of your sneakers and just as you were about to make it to the living room Harry was coming to the entrance with a glass of wine for you in hand. 

“Hey, how was it today?”

“Good, we wrapped up the ones that might be the singles so it was a productive day.” You said with a smiled as you guys hugged briefly and kissed cheeks.

“That’s great.” He hummed as he handed over the glass and you thanked him softly before taking a sip.

“Mmmm.” Your eyebrows perked up as the sour and crisp wine tingled on your tongue. “Which one did you open?” You only had three bottles of white wines as it wasn’t your favorite variety. So the flavors of it were not as obvious to you.

“The chablis.” 

“Oh…good choice.” You complimented and he smiled.

“Yeah?” You nodded and he hummed. “Well c’mon then.” He said and you followed after him to the kitchen.

“How was your day?” You asked.

“Also quite productive. I found two potential places, so there’s that.”

“And in therapy?”

“Really good too.” He smiled and you nodded.

“Good. I’m glad.” You hummed, “Do you need my help with anything?”

“No, just sit. Wanna plate it all nice for you.” He said and you smiled.

“Wow, thank you.” 

“Of course.” He smiled as he plated up the baby potato and veg mix on the plate and then he lifted the sheet of tin foil placed over the pan on the stove, “They had some really great sea bass fillets at Erewhon. I couldn’t resist.” He hummed.

“How much did they cost you?” You asked with a grin and he chuckled.

“I’m not ready to talk about it.” He mumbled with a smirk and you giggled. “Here you are love.” He said handing you a plate and you grabbed it quickly.

“Wow, so beautiful.” You complimented, “The skin is so crisp.” You slightly moaned as you ran your fork over it. “I’m so excited to eat this.” You praised him and bit down on your lip in excitement. Harry grinned bashfully as he served up his own plate and soon he was settling in beside you and then you guys started eating. You made some light conversation and hummed to the music playing in the background of your conversation while you guys ate your dinner. Everything was so delicious you even went in for another helping of the veggies. “Wow…this is may be on of the best things I’ve eaten in a long time.” You said in satisfaction. “The fish was so buttery. It just melted in your mouth…damn.” You smiled, “You did so good! I’m so impressed.” You chuckled.

“Yeah?” He smiled as he reached for your hand and you nodded again. “Glad you liked it. Got the recipe from Shellie.” He said and you hummed.

“Ooh nice. She’s a good cook.” You recalled and he nodded.

“And I made some cereal milk panna cotta for desert. Should be set by now.”

“Ooh, fancy!” You chirped with excitement. You washed the remaining dishes as he brought out the panna cottas and then headed over to your patio, he balanced the little ramekins in one hand as he unlatched the glass door and slid it open and stepped outside. You dried your hands and grabbed your glasses of wine as you headed over as well and cozied into one of the seats outside.

“So?” You asked and he smiled at you.

“So…I think that I’ve finally come to terms with the fact that I am probably polyamorous.” He explained and you nodded in understanding.

“Okay and what does that…look like for you?” You asked him.

“Ummm…for me it’s largely about the fact that I can connect romantically with multiple people simultaneously. I have felt it before but just thought of it as like a crush…because I had never fully fallen in love with any of those people or just stopped myself from talking to them more because I was already seeing someone. And I mean, to me, you’re the biggest love of my life. And when we didn’t work I just…I wanted to feel that way again and so I searched for it and I did fall in love with Olivia and Taylor all w-while being in love with you the entire time. I see now that I buried what I felt for you, but it was never gone.” He explained and you nodded in understanding, “I told Taylor once that she wasn’t competing with you for my love, that I loved you and loved her in your own unique ways. D-does that make sense to you?”

“Yeah, H. It does.” You assured as you dipped into your panna cotta and he hummed ‘good’ before he did the same. You sat silently for a little bit, watching the sun starting to move closer and closer to the horizon.

“And say, what if we get married and somewhere along the way I…fall in love with someone else? Can you accept that?” He asked and you shrugged.

“I can tell you that I can right now…but I mean, maybe that will change if we get married or have kids or something…” you said with all honesty. “But I mean, i-if that’s how it is then I’d expect to have boundaries or rules for what’s acceptable if we’re the married ones.”

“Yeah, I get that.” He nodded, “So, my therapist brought in a friend of hers, a sex therapist, t-to talk about this with me. To answer any questions and to help prep me for this talk I wanted to have with you.” He explained and you nodded urging him to go on, “So poly people can have different types of relationships and she was explaining them to me to see what resonated with me the most and I think a hierarchal approach or a polyfidelity approach is more in line with me.” He explained and you nodded.

“Okay, so what does that mean?”

“So in the hierarchal one the main relationship is the priority. So say we started a relationship, to me that would be my main relationship. If I met anyone who I was interested in I would run that by you. Like we would work out what any other potential partners would have access to together. And polyfidelity can be like, I have two relationships but they’re closed relationships on both ends. And well, it’s not like I’d actively be seeking out someone else to involve in my life, this is just an option in case I meet someone who I develop feelings for. I have no desire to have an open relationships or even sexual or dating relationships with other people just because. I would only want that if I even met anyone that I just had that deep of a connection with.” He explained.

“So like with Taylor…if she was okay with this…what would you prefer or?”

“I would kind of leave that up to her. I think she might have preferred a hierarchal thing though. Where if we were together first then that relationship is the priority and together we could set the boundary for what our relationship would look like. So say she was only fine with us dating and sleeping together when I was in California, then that’s what we would have. I think that a polyfidelity thing would be what I’d prefer in that case. I mean, I know that you guys wouldn’t be sleeping with other people, just me. And I wouldn’t say either one was more important than the other, we wouldn’t even have to do things together, each relationship would be what it is.” He said and you hummed as you gave it some thought.

“Wouldn’t that be…exhausting?” You asked and he chuckled.

“I don’t know…maybe.” He said pensively, “But like…to me, the way Taylor loved me didn’t feel the same as the way you love me, and vise versa. And then the way I loved you both also came out differently. I didn’t feel more for you than her, but it was just different. Does that… make sense to you?” He asked and you nodded.

“Yeah, that’s extremely logical.” You said and he chuckled.

“Are you just saying that?” He questioned skeptically.

“No!” You giggled, “I’m serious. I mean, there’s this quote from Ted Lasso that I really love and that I live by now. The quote is: “All people are different people.” And I mean, it’s so obvious and simple, but it’s something that we forget far too easily. So when you say that the way you felt love from and for us was different, it makes sense. Each person loves differently and has different needs. Our energies are different, you know? Of course it feels different with another person. Each relationship is going to be as unique as the people in it.”

“Right, it’s not like a competition between who I love more.” He said and you nodded.

“Right.” You confirmed and he smiled and then frowned. “What it is?”

“I don’t think I had the proper words to explain this to Taylor when I first told her about you. Maybe if I had more knowledge or simply just accepted and understood this part of myself before I could’ve hurt her less. Like, I’ve apologized and explained and we’ve forgiven each other for any hurt we caused each other, but I just…feel bad for how I affected her.”

“Yeah, of course. That’s understandable. I’m glad you guys got to talk that out eventually though. Is she better now? When was the last time you saw her?”

“Ummm, early June?” He hummed, “She looked so much lighter than when we were together. She was back to her old self and it was hard to see how badly what we had was affecting her.” He explained, “That’s really what pushed me into the depression phase. Just seeing how much better off she was without me. It just…fed my fear that I only hurt the people I love.” He said and you hummed. 

“Do you think that if you’d known this about yourself with certainty before that she would’ve been alright with it?”

“Absolutely not.” He chuckled, “Her concern was that I’d start to love you more than her and like fall out of love with her and just leave her for you.”

“Mmm, well at the risk of sounding like a total dick…isn’t that just what happens when a relationship starts to…fall apart? You start to fall out of love with someone for whatever reason? Like that’s just what can happen to anyone. It’s part of the general risk of being in a relationship, no?” You asked and he chuckled.

“That’s basically what I said to her one time. I just said it less delicately, but it really offended her. But it’s the truth, feelings can change at any time for any number of reasons. And I mean, I did love her, I think I still do a little bit, obviously.” He said and you nodded, “But I’m starting to move past it. See with you I…thought I was moving past it.” He said, “Thought that this whole time. The sex therapist? She was basically saying that in me moving on so quickly, I was just…distracting myself from having to properly move on from you basically. And like…seeing each other again after so long, I mean…it just brought everything up for me again and it almost felt like we had broken up a week before. I missed you terribly and I was constantly thinking about you and Sebastian and I just…I had to say something to Taylor about it.”

“Yeah, that makes sense.” You said and he sighed.

“I guess, I’m still figuring things out in terms of this polyamory thing. But again, I just want to reassure you that I’m not actively seeking another partner, nor am I interested in dating or sleeping with other people at this time. If it happens, it happens, but obviously if it takes away from what we have going together then our relationship would take priority over that. I do believe that we connect in a very special and extraordinary way. I love and miss what we had before, but after seeing you again last year and with the time we’ve spent together already I absolutely cannot wait to see how good we can be together this time around.” He said and you smiled and just got up and climbed into his lap and hugged him tight.

“I love you.” You hummed and he sighed in relief.

“I love you too.” He answered as he hugged your waist tight for a few moments until you pulled back from him to be able to look into his eyes.

“So where do we go from here? What are you comfortable with?” You asked him.

“Well, we don’t have to rush into a relationship. I mean, I know we love each other, but I want to date you. I want to reacquaint myself with you and fall in love with the you, you are now all over again.” He said and you smiled a bit, “I also want to make sure that I’m not using us a distraction to finish moving on from Taylor.” He said and you nodded.

“Yeah, of course.” You agreed, “I mean, if you still have feelings for her do you think that maybe you might want to keep that door open?” You asked him and he shook his head.

“Yeah, she’s not on board with the polyamory thing at all. It just wouldn’t work for her.”

“Right…right.” You said and he nodded.

“Ummm baby, I have to ask because I can’t stop thinking about it.” He sighed and you nodded, “Wh-what’s the situation with Ricky?” He asked, evidently he was a bit nervous about asking you, you could see it in his eyes.

“It’s still just a friends with benefits thing. We don’t really hook up on the regular, like it’s not a planned, routine thing we do. It’s more opportunistic.” You explained.

“So the other day was like a fluke, basically?”

“For sure. I would never normally do something like that, especially while we’re in a professional setting.” You explained, “But I was just a little more…needy than usual.” You chuckled.

“Mmm, I see. I only ask because if I’m gonna stay here for a bit, like I just don’t want to make you guys feel weird if he’s like constantly around or staying over too.” He explained. “Like we kept making awkward eye contact yesterday at the pool party thing and like…yeah. I’m not…like it’s not a jealousy thing. I’m not jealous of him.” He said quickly.

“Just fuming inside a little?” You teased, repeating his words from the other day at the studio.

“Yeah, just a bit.” He chuckled, “Still.” He confessed.

“Don’t. To answer your question more seriously, Ricky doesn’t stay overnight here. Ever. And I don’t stay overnight at his either. We literally do the most to not blur any lines even more than they already are.” You explained.

“So you just…fuck and go?” He asked.

“It’s not that transactional.” You chuckled. “It’s usually after we’ve gone out with friends or just hung out together. And if we both want to hook up we do and then we go our separate ways.” You explained. “We really don’t do sleepovers or even like lovey-dovey things like cuddles or holding hands. It’s just the sexual favors bit. Like we might lay around for a bit, but we just talk, we don’t like…hold each other and…bask in the afterglow.” You said with a giggle and he nodded.

“And it doesn’t feel….empty? Without the soft bits?” He asked you more seriously.

“Of course it does.” You smiled a bit sadly, “I think it does for the both of us. He’s hung up on someone else and well…same.” You said and he smiled and nodded, “So we just hook up when we’re both feeling in the mood for it. So we really are friends first and the benefits are there when needed.” You explained and he nodded in understanding.

“So if it’s one of those times when you guys talk afterwards, like is it feedback about the sex or just random conversation?” He asked.

“Just conversations. Like sometimes we talk about the people we miss and things about them. We talk about how we’re feeling afterwards, like sometimes when that post-coital haze is lifted you just get so sad, you know? So we talk about that and try and figure out why we might feel sad. We talk about what the point of all of it is…I think we’ve achieved a rather deep level of friendship from this.” You said pensively.

“And you don’t like him even just a little bit?” He asked you.

“I mean, of course I do. I hook up with him, don’t I?” You chuckled and he did as well, “But it’s very surface level. We did talk about that one time, about what would happen if we ended up together. We both decided it would be a no-go.” You chuckled, “He’s just so…unworried and unbothered by everything. Doesn’t really plan or anything and well, you know how that drives me crazy. Especially with the job we have.” You said and he chuckled and nodded. “I’m definitely more balanced with my time now than I was before but it’s because I’ve been able to schedule and plan and whatnot. Like he’s kind of the type to get bored on a Tuesday and drive down to TJ with a friend or his sister because they want tacos from Taconazo. Like, I don’t have the same freedom to just do things on a whim without it throwing a bunch of things out of whack for myself.”

“Right.” He hummed, “So you…like him? Like you’re into him?” He asked and you looked at him quite perplexed, “Like in the way you like me?” He clarified.

“Are you asking if I like him more than you? Or are you asking if I…like him and you? Simultaneously.” You asked and he nodded. “I mean, I do like you both, but not in the same way as you do. Like, I definitely like you more, I mean, I love you, you know? I wouldn’t be able to love you and him. I would have to choose.” You said and he smiled.

“And you’d choose me.” He said quite confidently and you rolled your lips into each other to prevent your lips from widening in a grin as you shrugged. “Baby.” He pressed more seriously and you giggled.

“I mean…”

“Say it then.” He smiled smugly.

“Why? If you already know?” You asked.

“Because. I want to hear you say it for me.” He insisted. “Tell me you’d choose me. Every single time.” He hummed with a smile and you grabbed his face tenderly and leaned in until your lips were pressed together. 

Harry hummed in satisfaction as his hands slid down your waist and to your hips. His thumbs gently kneaded at the pudgy part of your hips. You giggled when it tickled you a bit and he chuckled before sucking on your bottom lip a bit. Your eyes fluttered open and met his lustful gaze. You could feel him hardening up beneath you as he leaned back in for a hungry kiss. Your lips moved sloppily, it was all tongue and heavy breathing as your slid down and held at the side of his neck. His hands were groping at your butt now, smoothing his big warm palms over them, helping you grind over him and feel his obvious need for you. You pulled back and pecked his lips a few times before taking a proper breath.

“I choose you, baby.” You confirmed quietly between the two of you. He looked into your eyes, his lust was evident.

“It would be wise to stop, wouldn’t it?” He asked and you giggled and nodded before kissing him a few more times and hugging him tight. After a few moments you pulled back and smiled at him and he bit his lip and reached around the back of your neck and pulled you down and kissed you deeply once more.

…. A FEW WEEKS LATER ….

It was your birthday and you were having fun so far at the little dinner party you had thrown yourself at your place. You felt pretty in the short black linen dress you’d chosen for yourself. You were nursing a cocktail as you chatted with those who had already arrived, you were waiting for a few more people, including Harry. You had hired on a private chef to take care of dinner tonight so that you could enjoy with everyone, after all, you only turn thirty once.

“So when did Harry move out of here?”

“A few weeks ago? He only stayed about a week. He was able to find himself a decent sized house really quickly. It was furnished, so it was rather convenient, it’s cute.” You smiled as you shared this with Melissa who nodded.

“That’s great!”

“Yeah.” You smiled in agreement.

“Sooo…any progress?” she asked with an expecting look.

“We’re not talking about that.” You said to her and she sighed in some disappointment.

“Fine.” She said with a smile. You appreciated that she didn’t push any further.

In truth, you and Harry had been mostly seeing each other at the studio after he left your house. You had both been scared into keeping things extremely platonic after that dinner he had prepared for you when you guys talked about your future. You had said you were going to take it slow and ended up half naked on your bed just about to initiate sex when you asked him to stop in a panic. The entire week he stayed with you the sexual tension was completely overboard, but you both knew it was for the best to not get involved with each other like that yet. So it was quite a big relief to you both when he left and you only saw each other at the studio. This would be his first time back at your place after he left so you were a little bit nervous in all honestly, which is why you had refused taking a shot three times already, you needed to be fully sober in order to not act impulsively.

“Harry!” You heard Caitlyn greet him excitedly from inside. You straightened up a bit and sucked a bit more of your drink though the straw. “Harry’s here!” Caitlyn announced as she led him out and everyone greeted him happily as he approached you and you smiled and stood to hug him.

“Happy birthday.” He hummed as he squeezed you tightly, “Welcome to thirty.” He said as he pulled back and you smiled.

“Thank you.” You chuckled.

“You look beautiful.” He said more quietly, his compliment slightly drowned out by everyone’s chatter.

“Oh, thank you.” You said as you glanced down at your dress quickly and then back into his eyes. He licked over his lips as he scanned over your face and then smiled bashfully when he realized he’d been caught.

“Sorry.” He hummed and you smiled.

“It’s alright. Ummm, have a seat.” You said gesturing to the table and well, the only spots available were at the further end of the table.

“You can sit here, Harry. I actually need to talk to Ben.” Melissa said as she stood up and headed further down the table.

“May I?” Harry asked and you nodded.

“Of course.” You agreed and he sat there. It’d been two or three days since you’d spoken, you were busy finalizing everything with the party and Harry had therapy and some catching up to do with other friends he had in the area.

“So, how’s it been planning all this?”

“A little stressful, but I think it ended up well.” You smiled and he nodded.

“Yeah, it looks really nice. S’a simple, little thing. I like that.” He said and you nodded.

“Yeah, thank you.”

“I ummm, I got you something that I want to show you later, I-if I can hang out a little after everyone goes.”

“Oh okay.” You nodded and he smiled. Your curiosity was piqued and all throughout the evening you kept thinking back on this and wondering what it could be. 

You were having a nice time with everyone, you guys were playing games and sharing stories. You had a delicious, fresh peach pie instead of a cake and everyone seemed so delighted with that choice. The chef really knocked it out of the park with that one. Afterwards, there was a bit of karaoke but when it hit 10:30 you guys started to wind down as to not disturb your neighbors. Slowly, your friends started to head out one by one, congratulating you once more on your birthday and you were thanking them for coming as you walked them out to their cars. Harry, Caitlyn, Ricky, and Melissa had stayed inside talking a bit more but you suspected that they were also getting ready to go, well except Harry. You guys hung around a bit more, the glances between you and Harry were nothing short of obvious and frequent, so being the one person to read the room, Ricky suddenly stood up.

“Well, it’s almost 11:30, we should go.” He said as he stretched his arms above his head a bit and once they got his hint, Caitlyn and Melissa stood as well. You and Harry followed them to the door and you all said your goodbyes. “Don’t be scared of falling.” Ricky mumbled quietly against the side of your head and you squeezed him tighter.

“Thank you for everything. Love you, I appreciate you.” You mumbled.

“Me too.” He chuckled before you kissed cheeks and he was hurrying after Melissa and Caitlyn down the little path. 

You and Harry followed after them and waved them off before you locked the gate as Harry made his way back to the house. You felt nervous around him for some reason, like his energy was too great to allow you to breathe, or maybe that was the alcohol…you’d had three cocktails which was already a bit much for you by this point and you were convinced your friends made your last one a double without your permission. Regardless, you were smiling at him while he watched you come up.

“What’s wrong?” He asked and you shook your head.

“You’re making me nervous.” You chuckled.

“What? Why?”

“This mystery gift thing!” You scoffed as you guys made it inside and he locked up behind you.

“Yeah alright, fair.” He smiled as you headed to the kitchen.

“Want some water?” You asked as you headed into the kitchen.

“Please. Benny made the last drinks a double and that awful taste is not leaving my mouth.” He confessed with a slight grimace.

“I knew it!” You gasped and he chuckled, “They were trying to get me to do shots before you arrived.” You said and he chuckled.

“Well good thing you declined. You really don’t want a hangover at thirty.” He laughed and you did as well and soon you were both having a bit of water and then he sighed.

“Okay, well it’s two things.” He said and you nodded, “First gift is this…” he said pulling his phone out and after several moments of waiting, he looked back to you, “You should check your email. The personal one.” He said and you nibbled on you lip and went to grab your phone that was on the other side of the kitchen counter. You open up your email account and saw the link to a ticket and when you opened it up your free hand flew over your mouth and your eyes welled up.

“No…but th-these sold out in like five minutes!” You gasped in surprise at the Joni Mitchell ticket waiting to be accepted by you.

“I’m her friend.” He said simply and you shook your head in disbelief. 

She was playing two dates at the Hollywood Bowl and despite your best efforts during the sale in February, they sold out in moments. It was a bittersweet thing, seeing artists that were such icons and legends performing what would surely be some of their last shows ever. Being able to make it to things like this made for priceless memories and well, you grew up with Joni Mitchell, like Harry did, and you both loved her. It was one of the things that you both had in common and made friends over when you first started talking, so she meant a lot to the both you. “We’ve got a private box. We’re right up near the front so we can see it all!” He said excitedly, “And we get to meet her beforehand, if you want.” He said and you set your phone down and shook your head in disbelief.

“This is extraordinarily thoughtful, H.” You said with a wide smile.

“Our first concert out in the open. No fear, no worries, just us.” He said and you hurried over to him and hugged him tight.

“This is honestly so amazing.” You sighed as you squeezed him tight and he kissed the top of your head. “I can’t wait to do this with you.” You said happily.

“Me either. It’s going to be so good.” He said with certainty and you nodded against his chest before pulling back and peering up at him.

“Can I kiss you?” You asked him and he chuckled.

“Always.” He hummed and you laughed and tip-toed a bit more and your lips met in a sweet and chaste kiss.

“Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.” You gave him another kiss with each ‘thank you’ and he was a smiley and blushing mess before you. “My parents are going to die when they hear about this.”

“Well, part two…they’re coming as well.” He said and you pulled away.

“No.”

“Yeah!” He laughed happily and you shook your head.

“Harry.”

“I swear it. Your mum and dad, and my mum and her boyfriend. A proper date night. Though the meeting bit is just for us two.” He added and you were crying now, it seemed something ridiculous, but it was a full circle moment.

“This is so nice of you.” You whispered as you hugged him again.

“Hey, look at me, my love.” He hummed and you glanced up at him, “It’s not just a concert, you know? I want to do this with you and with our parents t-to also show them that it’s not just a for fun thing. This is about the future. Our future.” He said and you nodded. 

“Thank you.” You whispered, “I’m gonna kiss you for real now.” You said and he chuckled.

“Yeah, do it. Please.” He insisted and you chuckled.

Your lips were soon colliding gently and moving in an improvised but effortless dance together. You relaxed in his arms, you loved the warmth of his hands around your waist and then traveling down to your hips as he held you tight. It was a feat as challenging as the greek mythological quests trying to keep your composure around him. Everything just felt so easy and right when you were together, it always had. But now it was even stronger than before, you could feel the love emanating from him as you held each other and kissed passionately.

“Baby,” he mumbled, “can I…say something?” He asked and you nodded and pulled back from the kiss but he chased after you and kissed you deeply again before also keep the distance so he could speak properly. “I know we said no more jumping into things with people but you’re not just anyone, you know?” He said and you smiled a bit, “The love I have for you has been here the whole time. I’m not burying the hurt by wanting to be with you, it’s not like that with you, you know that.” He said and you nodded, “I want to be with you. I want to a relationship with you. I don’t want to wait anymore, I’ve already wasted so much time.” He said and you caressed his cheek with your thumb, “And I…I see the woman you’ve become. How you’ve grown and blossomed so beautifully-”

“You too!” You sniffled and he smiled.

“Thank you.” He chuckled, “But ummm…I don’t want to miss out on this. On you. It’s different with you, you know that.” He said, “Let’s do this again. Be my girlfriend, please?” He asked and you laughed happily and kissed him.

“Yeah. I will.” You whispered against his lips.

“You will what?” He asked with a grin and kissed you a few times, awaiting your response.

“I’ll be your girlfriend.” You said breathlessly with a smile. 

Harry was beaming and his hand came around the back of your neck, holding you gently as he dipped down and you kissed once again. He was slower this time, but the intensity was still at all time high. You felt your lust for him simmering steadily, nearly ready to bubble over into a boil with whatever move he’d make next. Your skin was tingling, excited to feel his touch once again.

“Can I take you to your room?” He asked, his lips gently smearing against your cheek as he spoke and then kissed you there.

“Yes.” You confirmed and he found your hand and led you through your house until you were bursting through the door and he was kissing you ardently as you walked backwards into the dim, cool room. His hands slid down your waist and landed over your backside, he caressed over it and gave your cheeks a light squeeze.

“I miss being able to do that.” He chuckled and you laughed a bit. You weren’t as thin as the people he had dated lately, so there was a little more to grab onto. You didn’t mind it, you were happy with yourself and you knew you were healthy, so you didn’t feel bad or find a need to even compare and it was relieving to you that he felt the same. “You’re exquisite. You know that right?” He asked and you smiled timidly at his compliment.

“How about you show me show exquisite you are first.” You suggested and he chuckled and was quick to take a step back and pull off his shirt, not even bothering with the buttons. 

Like a moth to a flame, you were right up against him again, kissing down his neck lightly. Trying not to smile too much as you traveled down to his pecs and the smattering of hair between them tickled your nose a little as you smooshed a kiss over his sternum. Your hands slid up his abs, you could feel his tummy flex a bit from the tickles your light touches were causing. You continued sliding it up until your index finger was hooking into the chain of his trusty pendant with the Jesus and penis charms. You tugged it down a bit before arching up into him and kissing him again. His hands slid up your back, his fingers feeling around for the pull on the zipper for your dress. 

“It’s on the right side.” You guided him and he was quick to take his hands there and slid it down. 

Harry helped the straps off of your shoulders, planting kisses on each shoulder blade before letting the dress drop down to the floor. You weren’t wearing a bra with it as the neckline was a bit strange, but he didn’t seem to mind that one bit. He groaned at the sight of your breasts bare before him and he immediately brought his hands up to them and kneaded them gently in his big, warm palms. You sighed in relief and glanced up at him and he seemed to have snapped. He grabbed you by the waist and pulled you towards your bed. He sat and pulled you onto his lap in a straddling position and kissed you urgently. His tongue met yours sloppily before he started to kiss down your jaw, then your neck and finally he reached your chest. You arched your back in as he gently sucked on your collar bone and then skimmed his lips down to your right breast before parting them and latching around your nipple, effectively hardening it in a second. You moaned in relief as his blunt nails dug into your back as he started sucking more fervently.

“Yes! That’s so good.” You whimpered as he moaned around you. You peered down, looking at his gorgeously hollowed our cheeks as he sucked and nibbled at your tender little bud before popping off and moving to the other one. He payed it just as much attention, letting you whimper and whine as he went a little harder on you. Your fingers scratched against his scalp and you chuckled as he pulled back, nipple still in his mouth until it inevitably slipped out with a soft popping sound. He buried himself in the crook of your neck and inhaled and then exhaled, sounding relieved.

“I missed the scent of you and your perfume. I’d forgotten how good it is.” He said softly.

“I do too. Even had the same body wash you use for a while.” You said and he pulled away and smiled up at you.

“Yeah, baby?” You nodded.

“I’m never gonna forget again.” He told you with certainty and you smiled and caressed his cheek with the back of your hand. He leaned into your touch and let his eyes close for a moment.

“I’ve imagined this moment so many times.” You whispered and his eyes fluttered open and met yours. He smiled softly, peering up at you with so much love it made your insides flutter. 

“I have too.” He whispered back and kissed your lips quickly. “Hold on tight.” He said and you did and he stood and then had you on the bed as he laid over you.

He started to kiss down your body, you were already so wet for him, but knowing what was coming next practically had your legs trembling preemptively and your walls fluttering in excitement. He didn’t waste time or tease you at all, he needed this as badly as you needed it. He was quick to pull your underwear down your legs and toss it aside as he slid further down, parting your legs so that he could fit between them. He kissed down your mound and up your thighs before he nuzzled right up against your center, his stubble tickling your sensitive skin. You would normally want to be clean shaven if you knew someone was going down on you, just out of convenience, but you knew he didn’t care about that. He groaned happily at your scent and the softness of you against his lips as he puckered them up a bit and kissed at you a little bit, each time nuzzling a bit deeper until he brushed against your clit and you bit your lip in anticipation. 

“Fuck H, please. Please.” You begged and he let go of all the restraint he had inside of him and just let his tongue roll out as he spread your legs further so that he could lap up from your dripping entrance to your clit. He flicked over it a little bit before giving it heavier licks until you were pushing him closer and moaning in pleasure. Your hips were writhing up against his mouth and he moved with you, loving how you were losing yourself in this moment. He then started to gently suck around you as he sensed your growing need. You were soaking wet, making a right mess of his chin and you were obsessed with how he was using his mouth. He’s always been eager to please this was excellent. Clearly, he was well aware of what he could do now and it was amazing, “Fuck baby, that’s so good!” You gasped as he slurped on you until your legs were tensing up as your pleasure started to escalate further and further until they started to tremble. He was incessant, your chest almost burned from how shallow you were breathing, and in seconds you were inhaling sharply and moaning melodiously as your orgasm hit you. “Oh, I’m coming!” You mewled and held him against you as he licked you through it, mumbling about how good you tasted and how much he missed it. He didn’t even warn you when you felt his index finger rubbing at your sopping entrance.

“Can I?”

“Yeah, do it. Please.” You hummed and he gently pushed it inside. He moaned along with you, you were wet enough for another, so he pulled it out and then sunk back in along with his middle finger. His long fingers reached deep into you and rubbed against your walls, going deeper and deeper with each plunge until he had gone deep enough to reach into the soft spongy spot inside of you that had you crying out his name. He kissed up your stomach, waist, chest, and neck all to reach your lips again and breathe in your exhales of pleasure.

“Fuck baby, you’re so tight and warm f’me.” He hummed into your mouth and you nodded, “So good for me.” He muttered and you smiled against his lips. 

Your hands slid down his bare torso and reached down to feel his erection straining against his pants. You rubbed into it, using the heel of your palm to add a bit more pressure. His jaw tensed as he inhaled shakily through his nostrils. You started to rub at him in a matching pace to his fingers sinking into you. You wanted to feel him inside of you desperately. 

“Harry. Baby, I need you.” You whimpered and he nodded and kissed you hard before retreating from you. 

He got off of the bed and reached for his belt buckle, his desperation and eagerness coming through in the form of his shaky hands. He soon got it undone and pulled it out before getting to the button and zipper on them and he tugged them down along with his underwear. He stepped out of them and quickly climbed back over your naked body. Feeling your warmth together like this was something that he’d been thinking of constantly since he’d seen you the year before. He was eager to be close to you in this way and finally, he had it.

“I have condoms in the bathroom, but I also have an IUD.” You informed him and he licked over his lips as his eyes met yours.

“D-do you mind if I go bare? Want to feel you so bad, want to fill you up, want you to feel it all.” He said and you kissed him as you shook your head.

“I don’t mind.” You assured him.

“Sure?”

“Yeah.” You nodded and he kissed you once more, slower this time.

“I’ve only been waiting to have you again for…years?” He chuckled and you did too, “This might be over a little fast. But I assure you, I have far more in me. A couple rounds worth so-”

“It’s fine. Did you not see how fast I came?” You giggled.

“True.” He chuckled and tucked your hair behind your ear, “God, you’re so beautiful.” He complimented. His voice was soft and genuine and the love in his eyes made you feel faint. You leaned up and kissed him.

“I love you.” 

“I love you.” He whispered against your lips. Your kiss deepened and naturally, things started to progress. You pressed your body up into his, feeling his erection laying heavy between the two of you. You raised your hips up to feel it brushing up against your sticky folds and he sighed in relief at the slick warmth that his cock was up against now. “Fuck, put me inside, baby.” He said to you and you angled your up hips up a little bit more and guided him to your entranced. His thick tip prodded at your weepy, little hole, teasing at the entrance. You writhed around, trying to get him inside and he smiled, “That feels so nice.” He said and you smiled, “So wet for me, baby. All for me, isn’t it?”

“Yes, baby. S’all for you.” You confirmed through a needy exhale and he kissed you again and then propelled his weight further forward until there was enough pressure against you that he sunk inside and you gasped in relief as he moaned into your mouth. 

“Fuuuuck.” he moaned as he bottomed out and you whimpered as you felt so full. You swore he was in your lower tummy, he was bigger than you remembered. You recalled that he loved a little bite of pain, so when he wriggled a bit and sunk in a bit further you winced and dug your fingernails into his back. He made the most delicious sound, it made you feral and he started to thrust in slowly but achingly deep, it was making your thoughts completely blank. “You feel so good, baby. Fuck, you’re so good, my love.” He panted in pleasure.

You were covered in goosebumps, relishing in the feeling of intimacy with Harry. With the love of you life. Everything suddenly felt right with the world. Your back was arching because each and every time he was thrusting in, he was hitting a spot that made you feel like you would soon levitate. Your hands roamed the skin of his back, feeling his muscles working to bring you both all the pleasure in the world. It was the most harmonious sex of your life, you were both yearning to be closer than you already were. It was absolutely necessary to get closer. 

While still inside, he pinned your hips down with his and knelt up making you gasp in shock as he got even deeper like this. You suddenly felt strung out as he started to pick up his pace, his hips undulated and ground against yours in the most satisfying ways. You were encouraging him, praising him for how well he was fucking you. He was giving everything to you, you could feel it in his movements and in the rising temperature between the two of you. Damp skin and filthy wet sounds from the place where your bodies were connecting perfectly. You could feel your orgasm starting to build again so you slipped your hand between your bodies and started to rub precise circles into your clit and he moaned.

“Oh, that’s it, baby. Rub your little clit for me, want you come for me.” He encouraged you and you sped up a little more, “Look at me. Please, look at me.” He panted and your eyes slowly blinked open and met his. He smiled softly and pressed his forehead to yours, his gaze burning into you, making you feel like the only other person in the world. “Fuck, it feels so good with you. You feel so good.” He groaned and you whimpered as you started to reach the peak.

“I’m so close, baby!” You warned and he nodded.

“Come for me, love. Let me feel you coming so hard on my cock.” He egged you on and you suddenly felt warm all over as you started to come undone. Everything inside of you was singing beautifully. You felt like you were burning bright, like a dying star, you were crashing and burning, it was a spectacle to behold. “That’s it, baby. That’s so fucking good, fuck you feel so good, love.” He praised you with a smile, “S’gonna make me come…fuck, you’re gonna make me come.” He grunted.

“Yes, baby. Please come inside me. Please give it to me.” You begged as your orgasm continued thanks to his fast and desperate thrusting into you. His eyes blinked shut and his eyebrows furrowed down as his lips fell open and he let out a low moan, “Oh fuck. Fuck, m’gonna fill up your little pussy. Fuck! Oh fuck, Y/n…fuck yeah, baby.” He sighed and then buried himself as deep as he could go and you gasped as you felt his cock twitching inside of you as he painted your insides with his generous load of cum. He was still for a few seconds before grabbing your hair and tugging you up so that he could kiss you. Your lips met sloppily as he started to thrust gently into you. Your abs were burning and your legs were shaking as he continued fucking into you slow, milking every drop of his sperm into you. “I love you. Loveyousomuch.” He slurred against your mouth.

After a few moments you had both settled down, trying your best to catch your breaths as you basked in the warmth, holding each other close. Your fingers scratched at his scalp gently, it felt so nice and relaxing. His lips were kissing at the part of your skin that they could reach while he held you close.

“I’m never letting you go again.” He whispered.

“Good.” You hummed and he smiled.

“This is where I belong. I feel safe with you. I feel seen. I feel…”

“Whole?” You whispered and he nodded.

“Yeah, you make me feel satisfied with myself.” He said and you smiled.

“You make me feel whole too. I love you.”

“I love you.” He hummed, “Forever.” He added with a smile.

.... THE END ....

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[am-i-the-asshole-official]

Aita because I asked my friend to not name his kid the same name as my abusive dad because it triggers me?

✨👶🏼 so I notice myself, sorry but I have a mental disability so my grammar isn't great. Sorry if I sound weird.

So let's just call my friend Fred (23,he/him, trans man)and I'll call my dad's name Sven. Fred has one other child(1,m) who I'll call Winston and Fred's newest child (Unborn lol, we know its another boy) is with one of his partners Brooke(22, They/She, transfem nb girl). I also offhandedly mention my partner Rosey(25, Any pronouns, Genderfluid) a few times, Fred's other partner Alan (20s?, He/him, Trans man), and lastly Me (24, He/she, Genderfluid).

Me and Fred have been bffs for like 7 or 8 years and I and Rosey are godparents to Winston and Fred got pregnant again. This time from one of his partners Brooke , Winston's other dad isnt in the picture. Me and Fred are super close (nearly dated at one point but it was before Fred and Brooke got together the first time and we are no longer interested in each other like that.) and I've been following both of Fred's pregnancies just to make sure everything is ok (I'm not encroaching, I just get text updates on appointments and stuff. Fred's first pregnancy was rough.).

Without going into a whole timeline, Fred and Brooke dated a couple years ago for about a year but Brooke raised a hand to hit Fred (never made contact nor any other physical abuse however they used it as a threat) and was controlling over him, they broke up and lost contact and over the last year/year and a half, rekindled and Brooke says they've changed and Fred trusts them again. I still don't like Brooke for obvious reasons but I'm being civil and trying to let them earn my trust again. So far their relationship is fine and it's not my place to muddle so until Fred sets off alarms that Brooke has gone back to their old ways, I'm trusting my friend's judgement. Brooke has been doing great through this pregnancy.

Fred knows the gest about what my dad put me through and how abusive he was to me. He knows I can't even be near cigarette smoke because it reminds me of him. However, Fred doesn't know his name. It's not because Fred doesn't want to, my dad's name just never came up and i didnt realize he didnt know his name till a few hours ago.

Me and Rosey sat in a call with Fred, Brooke and Alan while Fred and Brooke were brainstorming name ideas (They wanted our input). Brooke suggested the name Sven. I wanna be clear, Brooke doesn't know my dad's name either so I don't think this was a way of attacking me or something sinister. The name Sven is standing in for is a very common name in my country, though it's not popular for us gen Zers, it is common for my dad's generation.

I obviously froze up a bit due to the mention of his name and although Rosey tried to bring it up, Fred and his partners are kinda known for interrupting (Usually not viciously) and they didn't hear her. Fred and Brooke chatted happily about what a handsome name Sven was and how they might just decide to stick with it here and now but they wanted to hear other options. I waited out till the end of the call when Alan left (I don't know them so I didn't want to accidentally tell them personal things about my history of abuse) and told Fred that Sven was my dad's name.

Fred gasped and quickly said he wouldn't choose Sven and that he was sorry he forgot his name. Brooke however said that that was not a good enough reason to not consider a name they both dearly loved not 10 seconds ago. I tried to tell Brooke about why my dad was a bad person and some of the lighter things he'd done (not in a trauma dump explicit way, just in a he did *insert form of abuse* way) but they shut me down and said it was their kid to decide the name of. Fred told him he was also a vote in the name and he didn't want to upset me unnecessarily. Brooke said they were done with the conversation and Fred said they'd talk about it later. Fred then said to me and Rosey that he'd handle it and ended the call.

After about 30 mins, I got a couple of texts from Brooke and Alan that I was a jerk for trying to push my triggers onto other people and causing a fight between them and Fred and it wasn't my baby to name. (Alan doesn't live with Brooke and Fred so Brooke told Alan first what happened.) I decided not to answer for an hour or so because I was already worked up and they both essentially called me an asshole for overstepping. Fred just says hes gonna handle them but now I'm just confused.

I can see where I might of overstepped but I wasn't trying to be controlling and even if they would of picked Sven, i would of still respected it and tried my best to get over it as best i can. Was I pushing my problems on others or was I just letting a friend know what that name might be a bit painful for me when the name was just a suggestion? I don't think I'm TA but I wanna see if I'm missing something?

(I just realized rereading this that there is some important context to be added; Sven is not a sentimental name to Fred, Brooke or Alan. It's not a parents or grandparents name that might need carried on, it was just a name they liked. I checked with Fred to see if that explained Brooke's anger or something and Fred said no, they just liked Sven. There also hasn't been any hostility before this with Brooke or Alan so I'm not sure where all this anger came from.)

What are these acronyms?

[slutouttanowhere]

Pairing: Randy Orton x Mavis Pete x LA Knight

Warnings: none

Word count: 4k

a/n: ngl yall it’s currently 3:23 am right now, and I’m just so excited to get this to y’all. This…mini series (I’m not sure don’t get your hopes up lol) is not turning out how I expected, I accidentally added LA Knight to the mix completely forgetting he’s currently feuding with Randy canonically. The female main character, Mavis Pete is my oc, and if it isn’t obvious she’s Black. Anywho, hope y’all enjoy the full version, as always likes,reblogs and comments are appreciated

Chapter 1

Friday Night SmackDown– 7:30 pm

Adam Pearce had enough on his plate with The Judgement Day running around terrorizing the roster, and ruining matches, now on top of that he had to deal with Mavis Pete. She’s been raising hell for the past two weeks, for every time she didn't get a title shot, she’s attacking every female superstar that does. Sabotaging all their opportunities in any way she could. Suspending her wasn’t enough to deter her, no matter how big the fine, she paid them. He’s talked to Hunter multiple times about her behavior, but it seemed as if the young super star was hell bent on having her way. Luckily for her, it’s working out to her benefit with the crowds, but he needed to find a creative way to subdue an insubordinate talent. He tried to put her with Drew before, but the bickered like children to the point where he didn’t have a choice but to split them up. ‘Hmm, there’s gotta be someone else….’ He thought to himself, he looked through his roster, and he didn’t really see anyone he thought would be a good fit. ‘Mavis, despite her causing a hell storm, she’s still in pretty good standing with the locker room. If I put her with anyone she gets along with too well it’ll be pointless.’ He continued to ponder on this, flipping back and forth through his documents. Suddenly, his office door swung open, an agitated, Randy Orton stood in the doorway. A stern look on his face, his lips parted to speak, but before he could get his words out, Mavis came barging in right behind him. “Finally your office hours are open, listen I don't have time to waste you know what I want–

“Didn’t anyone ever teach you any manners, kid?” Randy cut her off, he turned to her, temporarily taking his eyes off their general manager. She looked taken aback by his attitude, one hand on her hip, and her face scrunched into a disgusted expression. Mavis and Randy rarely cross paths, but of course she knew who he was, she’d never tell him, but he’s in her top five favorite wrestler’s of all time. Given any other circumstance, she’d be gushing, and fangirling. She snapped out of her thoughts quickly, his icy blue irises analyzing her, her diamond chains catching his eyes. 

“Didn’t anyone ever teach you not to interrupt a bad bitch when she’s talking?” She asked, a slight smirk on her lips, to which Randy scoffed, and turned back to Pearce, blocking Mavis’ sight 

“Anyway, like I was saying.” He started talking again, ignoring the younger superstar behind him, Adam raised his eyebrows expectantly, but to Randy’s misfortune, he never got the chance to speak. 

Mavis rolled her eyes, and cleared her throat, “like I was saying.” She had pushed past Randy, her hips bumping him out the way, now it was his turn to be shocked. “It’s time to make some shit shake, I think baby face was nice, but being heel is what the fan really want from me.”  He watched as she demanded answers from the SmackDown Gm, Randy would be lying if he said he hadn’t been watching Mavis’ performances. She was a star in the making, if she could control her attitude, and if she could learn to pull that trigger when necessary, she’d be gold. Or in her case diamonds.

“You wanna be a champion, but don’t know when to stop running your mouth? The disrespect is astounding, please tell me you know better than this?” Randy talked over Pearce, he watched the interaction between the superstars, and now the wheels were turning in his head. He finally had a perfect idea, maybe it was temporary, but it would keep everyone busy till he figured out the alternative. 

“Listen, I know you’re old enough to be a father…” Her lips pressed together a poor attempt to repress her disdain, and to keep her mouth from becoming more reckless. She didn’t understand why Randy treated her the way he did, like she didn’t even exist. It bruised her ego that out of everyone she got along with, he was the one she couldn’t crack. 

Randy smirked in response, his assessment was swift, the revealing outfits, and over zealous confidence is what caught his eye when she first got drafted. In a way, she reminded him of a younger version of himself. He let out a condescending chuckle, and as badly as he wanted to let his intrusive thoughts take over, he tried to remain professional. “It seems to me like you sure could use the guidance of a wiser man, Hot Girl, Maivs Pete.” He said her name mockingly, and she’s not sure what bothered her more, the fact that he thought that she needed his help, or that she was turned on by his innuendo. They stared each other down, neither one of them refusing to break, till Adam Pearce clapped his hands together.

“That’s it! I got the perfect idea, since you're both more than likely here for the same reason, contenders spots. So here’s the plan, in a few minutes, I want you two to meet me out there in that ring.”  Adam clasped his hands together, a satisfied expression on his face as he watched Mavis and Randy pause their bickering, and turn their attention to their boss. 

“For what exactly?” Randy asked , his arms folded across his chest, he watched Pearce with a skeptical glance. He gestured between the two, a wide grin grew across his mouth, Randy and Mavis turned to look at each other, look back at Pearce, and back at each other. That’s when it clicked in their heads what he was referring to, Mavis rolled her eyes, and Randy groaned. 

“I don't have time for this, Pearce, I’m not a babysitter.”

“I couldn’t care less as long as it involves a title shot.” 

Randy, and Mavis spoke simultaneously, the roar of the fans in the packed Ford Field Stadium could be heard throughout the whole arena. The chants of them demanding to see their hometown sweetheart, Mavis Pete, could be heard throughout the arena. It warmed her heart to know that damn near the whole city showed up for her.

“That’s too bad, my choice has been made, and in just a little bit you’ll find out more details. Now, if I were you two I’d take this opportunity to get to know each other a little better, because whether you like it, or not, you will be working together for quite a while.” The two of them began to fuss, but Pearce was not hearing any of it; he shut them down immediately, then swept them out of his office. They stood there looking at each other dumb founded, this was not how either of them expected their night to go at all, Mavis wasn't on the card till much later in the night. Randy was supposed to work Austin Theory, how he just got switched from one rookie to the other? He had no clue, this was still the opposite of what he originally came to Adam’s office for. He asked for lemons, they gave him oranges. Mavis turned to go her own way, not before Randy reached out, and grabbed her by the arm. 

“Hey, quit it with the sass, you're not as tough as you think you are.” Randy called her bluff, a knowing grin on his lips, but she refused to fold. She rubbed her lips together redistributing the coat of gloss on her lips; her eyebrow raised as she pondered rather she’d play nice or not. Randy watched her expectantly, which caused Mavis to sigh softly, her expression told him nothing about how she genuinely felt. Instead, she morphed back into that playful, flirtatious girl she showed everyone else.

“Ugh, you’re no fun, you mine as well relax since you’re gonna be stuck with me.” She snorted, a smirk slowly growing across her face, her gaze held Randy’s, but when he tilted his head confusedly, she let out a mischievous giggle. Her hand on her hip, switching her weight from one foot to the other, Randy eyes shamelessly wondered down her body, taking in her curves from this distance, and took note of how toned her muscles are. Her skin looked soft to the touch, and it shimmered like mermaid scales underneath the lights from all the body glitter.  She definitely knew how to present herself like a star.

“This isn't the first time AP has tried to use someone else to ‘keep me in line’, a month ago he tried to stick me with Drew, but little did I know, he’s a bigger brat than I am.” She folded her arms over her chest, Randy pushed off the wall, and took a few steps towards her, minimal space between them. As tall as Mavis is, Randy is taller, and bigger; she peered up at him from underneath her long lashes. He was curious about her; he wanted to see past her mask. For a fleeting moment her cocky demeanor faded, he looked away for a second, an official spoke to him. Randy mumbled a few words, but by the time he looked back to her, whatever he thought he saw was gone.

“Do you think I’m gonna keep you in line?” Randy asked, his voice low enough for only her to hear.

Mavis shrugged her shoulders, her lips stretching into a smirk, “maybe, we’ll see.” She turned to walk away to get her gear on for tonight, but not before turning in enough time to notice how his eyes had dropped to her ass. He took his time making his way up to her face, she angled her body giving him a better view, and making a show of it.

“See ya out there…partner.” Mavis grinned like a Cheshire Cat, then sashayed away. 

Adam Pearce stood in the middle of the ring, mic in hand ready to address the WWE universe. The crowd buzzed in response, they had a rowdy crowd tonight in Mavis Pete’s hometown Detroit, Michigan. The way the arena is sold out, you’d think it was a pay per view event, but no, this was an average Monday night. “Good evening Detroit, and welcome…to Friday Night SmackDown!” The fans roared in response, Adam looked over to the camera, his hand gesturing to the viewers on the other side of the camera at home. “And good evening to you all at home. I know you all are excited for the show tonight, so I won't hold you up for too long. Recently, I’ve had more than a few trouble makers on my hands, among the few, your very own Mavis Pete.” On cue they chanted for her relentlessly, the sound of thousands of people was damn near overwhelming, but it’s nothing Adam isn't used to. 

He continued his announcement, moving about the ring. “With that being said, tonight will be my second attempt at partnering ‘Thee Money Making Mavis’, who can not only subdue her reckless behavior, but also keep her line.” He paused for a moment taking a breath, “this superstar is not only a veteran to the game, but he himself is someone who’s had their fair share of suspensions. Someone whose legacy is killing WWE legends, Mavis’ new partner… is none other than Randy Orton!” He let the crowd react, they stood to their feet to chant, ‘RKO’ he nodded his head proud of his decision, the people loved it, and that’s what mattered to him. 

“With that being said, tonight, we’ll settle some grievances. Mavis was to go one night one later on tight with Bianca Belair for a contender spot, but it seems like you’ll be getting spoiled here tonight Detroit because, not only will you see Bianca Belair, and Mavis Pete compete for the number one contenders spot to face Rhea Ripley at SummerSlam…” He took a breath, Bianca bumped shoulders with Mavis as they sat side by side backstage, and watched the show on the monitors. They had been talking about having this match for ages, and finally they would get the chance to show out, and shine their black girl magic on live television. Bianca was already a three time champion, if anything this match was to put Mavis over; Randy came over to take a seat with them, Mavis’ eyebrows raised in disbelief. “Ladies.” He greeted them, Bianca smiled greeting the well known ‘Viper’, but she nearly falls out her seat seeing Mavis’ reaction. Feeling Bianca’s eyes on her, Mavis turned to her older friend, and gave her a glare that could kill. Her lips turned upward into a knowing grin, but said nothing else.

“And I haven’t forgotten about Randy…joining his tag partner Mavis Pete tonight, as he faces off against LA Knight, think of it as a reconciliation for how last week's contender match was ruined by The Bloodline. Whichever team gets the win by pinfall or submission, is the team's victors, how does that sound?” The arena erupted in response causing Adam’s lips to pull up into a satisfied grin, he waved to the crowd, and right when he was leaving the ring, the camera’s cut to a backstage segment with Liv Morgan. Randy turned to Mavis, his eyes dropped to her neck expecting to see her diamond flooded pokemon chain, but it wasn't there. Curiosity getting the better of him he just came out and asked, “You don't seem like a girl that likes anime.” He suddenly spoke up after being quiet for a few moments, Mavis almost forgot he was there, Bianca on the other hand, took that as her cue, using Montez as her excuse to leave. This left Mavis all alone with Randy, they weren't that far from the guerilla, and had a little bit of time before their match. 

“Believe it or not, girls do watch anime, and a whole lot of other nerdy things.” She grinned, her lips glossy, and shining. Her eyes looked down at her nails, inspecting them nonchalantly, something he’s noticed her doing often. More so when she’s disinterested in what people were saying, but that didn't turn Randy off from getting into her head now that he’s seeing her up close. 

“That’s not what I meant, it’s just you're so —

“Pretty?” She cut him off beaming, showing off her diamond encrusted grills that were outlined with gold, Mavis has never had the chance to be so flirty with him, and it was kind of thrilling to see how this was going to play out. ‘Ole Scrap Daddy may have done me a favor, Drew wasn’t  this fun to play with.’ She thought to herself, flash backs of her time spent working with, “The Scottish Warrior,” replayed in her mind. She could see why her best friend, Desiree Simons, liked him so much. Randy pressed his lips together, the corner of his lip twitched, and his eyes shined with mischief. 

“While you are pretty Mavis, I was going to say…cool, you seem too cool to be into nerdy things.” Randy confused, his voice low enough for only the two of them to hear, Mavis nearly choked on her spit not expecting his response. He looked at her expanctanly, the ball was in her court, and for the first time she was rendered speechless. Though she recovered quickly, but not nearly as fast as she could have. 

She crossed one thigh over the other, her body less rigid than before. Her gaze softened as she watched him with hooded eyelids. “You think I’m pretty? Say it again…please.” 

“Ya ready for tonight Petey.” LA Knight’s voice could be heard from down the hall, aloof to the heat between Randy and Mavis. Randy looked like he wanted to swallow her whole, she got to him when he least expected, her boldness excited  him. He liked when his prey played with him before he striked. He rolled his shoulders, taking LA Knights distraction as time for him to cool down, and adjust.

“Aye! LA, you know I’m always ready.” She said playfully, his eyes looked her up and down, he swore he could still taste her on his tongue. Randy had heard rumors of the two of them having a small fling, but he didn't hear much more than that. He knew there were a few guys in the locker room lining up to get their chance with the self proclaimed ‘WWE Resident Hottie’. He knew for a fact some of them were in over their head, Mavis was too high maintenance to keep up with for an unseasoned man. For some reason he didn't like the way LA was looking at her, the way she was inviting his attention, and egging it on. Randy tried to find his breathing, and clam himself, when Mavis let out a giggle to something LA had said. That’s when he cleared his throat, unable to be around the two of them at the same time anymore.

“Oh wassup man, how are ya?” LA ask as if just noticing Randy being there, he could care less that Randy was standing there watching him and Mavis practically eye fuck each other. Every man that comes across her path is in constant competition with the other man that thought he had a chance. Truth is, none of them were particularly special, she did have her favorites though. LA Knight being one. No one turley knew who her number ones were, but he learned that if you were low key enough, and just went along for the ride you might be a main player. That’s all he wanted with Mavis, was to have fun, rather it was sex or not. He genuinely did like her, she was smart, and talented as all hell. He didn’t realize the longer he stayed, the further her fell down the rabbit whole to Mavis’ wonderland. ‘Ya just haven’t figured it out yet have you Randal?’ LA watched Randy with a scrutinizing gaze, he didn’t know much about the legacy kid personally, but Randy did look like a guy to fight over his possessions. It’s too early to tell where Randy will fall in the line up of Mavis’ chosen ones, but he’ll make sure to keep an eye out for the old snake. 

“Just another Friday night, chaos, and energy is in the air.” He smiled pleasantly, standing from his seat, and blocking LA Knight’s view of Mavis. He wasn’t in the mood to argue, he knew what Randy was trying to do, and it wouldn’t work. Mavis is going to do, and talk to who she wants. She leaned back in her chair, a smirk on her lips, but she sat idly. The two men talked formalities while they waited, but after a while, an official came over to Mavis letting her know that she had 10 minutes before she walked. 

She pushed her chair back, then stood up stretching her arms, and legs. LA Knight took that as a chance to get one last comment in, “need me to help stretch you out? Don’t wanna pull a muscle.” His pretty baby blue eyes watched her, taking in everything, from her perfectly applied makeup, to her Nike promoted ring gear. His eyes lingered on her breast, more memories of the nights they spend in her hotel making his head spin. 

She looked at Randy, his facial expression blank, but his eyes sparked a flame of jealousy. She bit her lip looking over Randy’s shoulder at LA Knight, she shrugged as she looked at him sheepishly. “Mm, maybe next time, sweet of you to be concerned though.”  She looked up at the clock on the wall signaling that she had eight minutes left, as she was led past Randy, she put a hand on his large shoulder. “See ya out there, partner.” Her hand slid down his arm, his eyes following her movements, and lingered on her as she galloped down the hall to the main curtains. 

Her music hit ‘Bling Bling Bling, bitches are mad.’ Mavis popped out from behind the titon tron, and Randy swore he’s never heard a pop so loud before. He looked over to the monitor, and as the camera panned out to the crowd, not a single person was sitting. He couldn’t take his eyes off her as she danced down the ramp to the ring, she flicked her waist length, purple hair over her shoulder. A few fans from the crowd reached out for her, shouting for her to acknowledge them, but Mavis scrunched her face up in disgust. Some of them didn’t appreciate her attitude, “that’s why you’re that bitch Mavis!” A girl near the front row screamed at her, she turned to see a group of young girls, maybe in their twenties, cheering for her.

“Yeah I know.” She smirked arrogantly, Mavis has been begging for weeks for a switch up on her character, the baby face run wasn’t working with the fans anymore, her real fans. They wanted something different of her, but it was like pulling teeth with creative. She figured she’d just give the people what they wanted, if they loved it, majority of the time she got in a lot of trouble. But consistently doing what others are telling her, going against her intuition, then she felt none of it is worth it. She didn’t tell anyone, but it was starting to affect her mental, just going along with what the company wanted was killing her own creativity. Her recent push backs was the only way she knew how to get what she wanted, suspensions be damned.

“She’s not the girl you think she is, you know. She may have a lot of eyes on her, and a lot of dudes lined up. That doesn’t mean everyone makes the cut, that includes you.” LA Knight spoke up from beside him, a serious expression etched across his face as he stood beside his co-worker. Truth be told, he felt Randy would be his only competition, he’s one of Mavis’s types, and that didn’t sit well with him. He blamed himself for just cruising along this whole time thinking he was secure with her, he planned on telling her how he felt…eventually. However, with Randy in the picture now, it has caused LA Knight to shift things into another gear.

Randy’s eyes flickered over to him momentarily, “and why are you telling me that?” His mind distracted by the way she dropped into a full split on the apron, and crawled into the ring from underneath the bottom rope.

“Because I know you’ve heard the whispers, how can people not talk about her ya know? But I know you’re a guy that doesn’t get tangled up in the drama, so I wouldn’t expect you to know that. I’ll say this then I’ll leave, no matter what you hear people say, don’t believe it. Don’t bother trying to slither your way into the fold, she runs a tight ship.”  That caught Randy’s attention, he tore his eyes away from the screen to look at his colleague, they held each other's stare. Randy nodded his head in understanding, what he didn’t understand was why LA Knight was going out of his was to throw him off a trail Randy wasn’t even on to begin with. He had a few opinions of his own about Mavis; he thinks she is arrogant, and impossibly flashy. However, he respected her for taking charge of her own character, and story lines. When he was her age, he was looking to everyone else about what to do, but Mavis already has it figured out. So, whatever rumors LA Knight was implying, must be worse than what he assumed. He left Randy to himself, a few seconds passed, then an official came to get him, but he was already making his way to the curtain. When they hit his music he took a deep breath to try to get the past thirty minutes out of his head for now. 

Their match as been going for a few minutes now, Randy and LA knight started the match, till is slowly transitioned over to the ladies. Bianca was busy yelling at LA Knight for getting in her way during the match, so Mavis took that as an opportunity to try and catch her in a roll up pin. Banica’s legs shot up, and effectively kicked out before the count of three. 

Randy watched from his corner, he wasn’t sure when Mavis got this good, but her in-ring work has already peaked since four months ago. The two women had been beating each other inside the ring for so long, Randy, and LA Knight had been sidelined unintentionally. Until, Bianca whipped Mavis into the ropes, and as she bounced off, Bianca slashed Mavis with her long braid. You could hear everyone simultaneously cringing, and grunting from the sound of her hair cracking Mavis’s flesh. 

“Goddamn it! Fuck! Forget this, hell nah.” Mavis shouted, she immediately backed away from her opponent, nearly running to the corner to tag Randy. 

“Bet you’ve never been happier to see me huh?” He chuckled as he slapped her shoulder lightly, which forced Bianca to make her tag to LA. Mavis laid on her back on the apron, both hands above her head, and her eyes closed. Her skin was throbbing, and stinging on that side. This sure will leave a nasty bruise tomorrow, but for now she’d have to suck it up. She brushed her hand over the area, her skin was hot to the touch, and she could feel how welting began. 

Regardless she got up in just enough time to see how LA Knoght accidentally knocked Bianca off the apron, and into the floor from Randy roughly shoving him into the corner. He began to fight back enough to get Randy down, as he laid there on his back, LA took that as the opportunity to climb up to the top rope. ‘Classic Randall’ Mavis’ lips pulled up into a smirk, she knew  there’s only one way this is gonna end at this point. As LA came flying from the top rope, Randy sprung to life at the last second and caught him in the RKO. 

Instinctively Randy went for the pin, by the time Banica jumped back into the ring to break the count it was too late. The bell rang, and Randy and Mavis were named victors. Adrenaline pumping in her veins she ran into the ring, and hopped on Randy, wrapping her arms and legs around him. As soon as their skin touched, she was reminded of the lashing Banica gave her not too long ago, and instantly she cringed away. “That’s a pretty nasty mark you got there, let’s go get it checked out?” Randy offered Mavis a hand to help her steady herself between the ropes, and for a second their eyes locked Mavis felt vulnerable. Like he was looking into her soul. She coughed awkwardly, then jumped down from the apron, and made her way up the ramp. 

“Jesus Bianca, spare me next time.” Mavis playfully scolded, her eyebrows drawn together as she pointed at the red slash mark that wrapped around her side, like a devilish hug. Banica grinned from ear to ear, swinging her braid in her hand, she knew Mavis could handle a little pain, but apologized anyway. 

“I am sorry though, I seen that Back Seat finisher coming and I said this girl trynna kill me. Not my fault I beat you to the punch.” She laughed lightly, the doctors fixed Mavis up and let her be on her way. A gentle hand on her shoulder caught her attention, she turned to see Randy with his long arm reaching out to her. He let his hand slide down her arm, just as she did earlier, feeling her toned muscles underneath the purple mesh fabric. Their fingertips grazed, but at the last second she caught the tips of his fingers before she had a chance to fall to his side. She looked up at him, and for once a genuine smile settled into his face. His gaze softened, as he lets her have a peak of the real him, but it was gone just as easily as it appeared. 

“Not bad kid.” His lips now curing into a smirk, his icy eyes inviting her in to play, and though she started this, Mavis didn’t intend on finishing it. 

“I did okay.” She mumbled meekly, her body slightly turned away from him, and her free arm wrapping around her midsection to keep his eyes off her skin. He tilted his head, watching her curiously now, ‘you wanted this.’ Randy thought to himself, he wanted to laugh at her sudden shyness, but he held it in.  

“Oh don’t get shy on me now sweetheart, what, now that I’ve shown you a little attention you don’t know how to act?” He leaned in slightly trying to catch her gaze, she sucked her teeth, yanking her hand away from him. A fire lighting in her eyes, that’s exactly what he wanted, and though he knew the tender side that resided in her would be interesting to see. Randy wanted this side of her much more, to get her fired up, just to blow her out again. 

“Boy fuck you.” She rolled her eyes, flicked her hair over her shoulder, and walked away. She was more annoyed that she lost her cool, than the way he tried to embarrass her. He caught up to her again, he tried to grab her by the arm, but when she snatched her arm away, she whipped around to face him. To her surprise he was closer than she anticipated, and nearly ran into him. 

“Hey, hey, hey now. No reason to be mean, I was just joking around, I’m sorry.” He apologized, feigning guilt, and pressing his plans together, pretending to pray. Mavis’ lips pressed together unimpressed, from a distance Randy could see LA making his way down the hall heading in their direction. “How about we go out for a drink, just you and me, think of it as a celebration. And…is officially getting to know each other.” He offered, Mavis folded her arms over her chest as she thought about it for a moment, and boy did she take her time. 

“You were looking like money out there Mavis, could hardly keep focus.” LA Knight drew her attention to him as he approached, she didn’t see the way Randy grimaced, but she felt it. It’s not lost on her that the two men never got along, Knight’s arrogance had always rubbed Randy the wrong way, and one night he let it slip that he and Randy had more than a few heated exchanges. Despite being in the game for 20 years, he still has yet to earn Randy’s respect. The Viper has claimed on several occasions that once all the hype dies, LA Knight is just going to sink with the rest of them. 

“Hey better watch yourself, Banica takes her in ring work very seriously, next time it might be you who gets whooped” The two of them small talk for a while, Mavis knew exactly what he wanted from her, but she was going to make him ask rather than her being the one to offer. Randy however, wasn’t moving from his spot, instead he made himself comfortable against the wall bearing the cold bite of the white bricks. 

“Tell me you’re coming out tonight, it’s been a minute.” And there it was, the invitation, Randy respected the consistency. What he expected was for Mavis to ditch him, and take LA Knight up on his offer since the two of them had a “history” so to speak.

“Actually, I’m already booked, sorry babe.” She smiled sheepishly, she squeezed his shoulder, though his eyes told a different story, he took on the chin like a man. Mavis hasn’t turned him down in almost a month straight, but as luck would have it, Randy posed something more interesting than what she was used to. Without so much of a word, she left the two men alone together yet again. Not wanting to feel the embarrassment any longer, LA began to walk, but not before Randy’s last words. 

“You’re in love with her.” He chuckled in disbelief, and just like that Randy said the one thing out loud, that LA could never. The two men went their separate ways, again he caught up to Mavis before she turned down the hall that headed towards the women’s locker room. 

“Looks like you haven’t turned him down before.” He said trying to dig for information, but Mavis wasn’t going to speak on that at the moment. Instead she offered him a sweet smile, her hip leaning against the door to the locker room. He took a step forward, minimal space between them, and if he leaned in any closer he’d be able to kiss her nose. He’s had his fair share of entanglement with his other female colleagues, and he felt a though going down that road with Mavis may be a rocky one. He knew if he opened the door even just a crack, she’d flounce right on in with no problem. She was looking for the opportunity he could tell, but when LA Knights face flashed across his mind, Randy decided against it. He took a step back, she didn’t seem to notice the slight rejection from the way she continued to swoon.

“There’s a seafood restaurant downtown I like to go to called Fishbones…I’ll send you the address?” This time she held Randy’s gaze, a sensation of butterflies swirling in the pit of her stomach. His mouth turned upward into his classic smirk, his bottom lip tugged between his teeth. Mavis gripped the door handle in a poor attempt to contain herself. 

“See you in a few hours then.” She silently nodded, not trusting her voice, then disappeared behind the safety of the women’s locker room. 

[saintsenara]

I know you responded with a meme, but if you're able I'd love to hear your thoughts on harry/hermione 👀

fine. i'll scream into a pillow periodically and get through this...

obviously, i don't actually find the concept of harmony sincerely upsetting - people shipping things is never that deep, and because, as i've said before, i subscribe to the principle that any pairing is possible if you just have enough nerve. i've been recommended some harmony fics by people who are fonder of the ship, and while i've not found them immediately compelling, i do appreciate that there are plenty of people who disagree.

but my feelings are basically the same for harmony as they are for dramione: that it's never done interestingly.

harmony is - like all hermione pairings except [broadly] romione - a breeding ground for fanon!hermione, who is perfect and flawless and so clever she can solve millennia-old mysteries in afternoon. i hate this version of the character because i find her boring - it's just standard self-insert stuff, which is fine but not something i have any interest in reading. i similarly dislike the version of harry who appears in these stories, who ends up - like all men in hermione pairings except [broadly] ron - being either this impossibly sophisticated and suave intellectual with the body of a greek god or a doormat who's happy to shut the fuck up forever and do whatever she says.

[i also hate - obviously, since he's my king - the way harmony stories are often even more egregious than dramione ones in writing ron as a cruel and violent misogynist who is ontologically indistinct from your average death eater. and i think it somewhat proves my point that neither of these ships work particularly well that this character assassination has to take place in order to make them plausible...]

and i think the flattening of harry and hermione's personalities within most harmony is the main thing which keeps the ship from being interesting. because - while i certainly don't go in for the common anti-harmony argument that harry actively dislikes hermione - it's undeniable that there is a lot about the two of them which wouldn't be conducive to a harmonious [lol] relationship.

their communication styles - hermione works through problems by debating them, harry prefers not to be challenged - are the obvious one. their ways of expressing affection - hermione shows people she cares about them by nagging them and meddling in their lives, harry very much does not - are another. they have extremely different views about authority, they decompress in different ways [harry is someone who clearly needs to keep physically active to clear his head, hermione is much more of a homebody], and harry's impulsiveness is a poor match for hermione's fondness for planning.

they are also similar in ways which would cause them to butt heads. both have a tendency towards obsessiveness, which they rely in canon on ron pulling them out of. both have a significant capacity for cruelty and extremely black-and-white moral codes - harry has a tendency towards forming judgements on people and situations based on whether they are people he likes or things he benefits from [i.e. how he's appalled by dobby's treatment because his masters are the malfoys, but doesn't give a shit about kreacher's because his abusive master is sirius], while hermione tends to regard any rule-breaking she does as justified even if she'd regard it as outrageous from anyone else [i.e. her fury over harry appearing to use felix felicis to improve's ron's performance at quidditch when she herself confunded cormac mclaggen to get him onto the team...]. both have a tendency towards giving people the silent treatment when they're angry. both are incredibly stubborn...

and so on.

obviously, they also have positive qualities in common too - a shared loyalty, for one - but it always seems to me that the standard move in harmony is for authors to completely ignore these conflicting traits, either really over-egging what makes harry and hermione compatible platonically in the books or just inventing similarities [especially intellectual ones] to justify the pairing. whereas i would much prefer to see just how difficult it would be for harry and hermione to fall and sustain being in love with each other, and i've never seen that done compellingly.

but the conflict i'd love to see explored in harmony fics most of all, but which never seems to be acknowledged by fans of the pairing, is that [despite the fanon slander that ron is the person who behaves poorly towards her] harry is often horrible to hermione and hermione is often scared of harry.

this is at its most profound after ron leaves the horcrux hunt in deathly hallows, but we see several times throughout canon that - if ron isn't there to mediate between them - harry often treats hermione in a way which can be considered downright cruel. if she criticises him in a way he considers unjustifiable, he tends to side with other people against her [ron in prisoner of azkaban over the firebolt; ginny in half-blood prince over snape's textbook]. if she tries to reason with him he often beats her down with the force of his emotions [i.e. when she tries to get him to think about whether his vision of sirius in the department of mysteries might be a trick] or his convictions [i.e. when he lures her into near-death by being certain that nagini is really bathilda bagshot], and she often ends up having to soothe or appease him when he's the one who's screamed at her.

hermione is also scared more generally of harry's experiences - she's by far the least amenable of the trio to talking about voldemort [even though she says his name earlier than ron does] - and mission, which puts up a barrier between them which will be difficult to bring down post-war. i think there's something which could be really interesting there - the most interesting dynamic in hinny, after all, is when harry and ginny's tendency to not actually be honest with each other is explored - but unfortunately at the minute that sort of character work is drowning in a sea of "ron is so stupid and harry and i just love talking about classic literature, come darling, put on your leather trousers and let us solve world hunger; i look like emma watson" nonsense.

dull!

[emry-stars-art]

Just read the whole 'how Andreil pans out' ask and all I'm saying is that I love the idea of Andrew Courting Abram and Abram just absolutely misses that it's what is happening. Part of it is just a cultural difference, Evermore and Palmetto have different courting cultures perhaps?

Another part is that Andrew really does not act all THAT different. He's giving Abram gifts but like Andrew is always giving Abram stuff? It's not new? Yeah they had dinner together but that's just like what they......do?

Another another part is just Abram not even considering himself as someone worthy to be with Prince Andrew like that. He wasn't worthy before and after Evermore and everything I could imagine he feels even less like a person let alone a person who deserves Andrew's positive regard.

IDK I just love the idea of Abram at some point like 6 months into Andrew trying to court him seeing that behavior somewhere else, being told that's how nobility in Palmetto court others, and going to Andrew like "Have you, perchance, been trying to court me?"

Andrew setting his glass aside and looking up from where he's seated, "For 6 moons Abram, glad you've finally noticed." - @jtl-fics

jtl I. Wish. You could have seen my face as I read this, this is so hilarious and heartbreaking and lovely all in one and I’m in LOVE okay i love this so much. And we can totally make it work ahhhhh

Like yes! Yeah! Andrew’s already a gift giver, it’s just what he does as far as Abram’s concerned, and they spend so much time together that dinner isn’t strange those are perfect points. Like to the court it’s starting to become obvious - maybe in the kinds of gifts Andrew gives, or some other small things that are new, yes, but Abram has always taken these things in stride and usually his lack of judgement when Andrew tries new things or changes in little ways is a huge relief but not this time Abram PLEASE

Finally Andrew just bites the bullet and goes for a gesture that’s way more out of character and harder to mistake, which might look something like this (and thank you @leedee013 for tags about them giving each other flowers that I LOVED):

And Abram can’t really form his thoughts into words because like you said; he doesn’t think he should be allowed something like that, there’s no way he’s ever EVER going to assume that Andrew is trying to confess or clue him in to a courting like this, even if it’s in his head now

But then Lady Reynolds sees Abram later heading back to the castle/wherever he stays carrying this bouquet of carnations (fascination), narcissus (honesty/truth) and acacia (hidden love) (let’s not look too closely into these flower meanings lol, i picked the first ones I found and I’ll field all further questions with ‘artistic liberty’ 🫶) and they’re pretty close friends by now so she’s immediately like “oh my GODS Abram who gave that to you”

And Abram quietly says “the prince”

And Allison’s won like three separate bets between various other people of the court and she’s elated

But maybe she takes pity on him when she realizes exactly how clueless Abram is, so she does her best to explain everything and finally, Abram begins to allow the possibility that maybe Andrew is doing all this on purpose. But he would really rather like to be certain.

And of course I had to draw your little exchange but I did it from memory so apologies for the changes in dialogue but I love it:

ANYWAY from there, when it’s cleared up, it’s just them being dumb and sweet and grasping at straws for how to be in love and natural about it (because they’re both very private people and a good number of average/expected acts of courtship aren’t necessarily in their wheelhouse) 😭🥹 and not to add yet more hurt/comfort but Andrew is so so determined to figure out a way to assure and reassure Abram that he knows what he’s doing, yes Abram is worth it, yes he’s doing these things because he wants to. If he didn’t want to he wouldn’t be doing it in the first place. And I’ll bring it back around by using my previously mentioned artistic liberty to say that yes Prince Andrew loves having his hands held/kissed (just by Abram naturally) and Abram figures this out and absolutely uses it against him. They love each other your honor

Okay anyway thank you for the ask, I’m SO lucky to have such brilliant people in my inbox 🥰

[pseudophan]

Ok I trust your judgement on this (idk if you’ve talked about this before I’m sure you have lmao): WHAT was the deal with that live show where they did Dan’s corner or whatever tf and would angle the laptop away if one of them had to get up for something😭😭 I know the popular obvious answer is that they just had on underwear but like? Why? They’re sitting in their own apartment and can’t take twenty seconds to put on some sweatpants or something before starting the live? Insane

oh they were 100% in their underwear! we kinda know this because they've said many times that they usually do just walk around without trousers if they're home all day lmao. in fact they've done SO many liveshows in their underwear like if you look out for it it's easy to tell by the way they move around lol

[jackie-shitposts]

Okay I've only just been made aware of the ass discourse (happened to to check the tag as it was winding down lol), but I feel like a lot of people are missing the obvious point here, unless I've missed it being said somewhere else.

Ya girl is LITERALLY an athlete??? She spends like half the show either running or doing handsprings, and she spent most of her formative years in a school for thieves with extensive physical training.

The muscles that make up the ass are used for stability when running/using your legs, that's what they're for. If she had no ass after spending the last four years of her life in constant life or death struggle against the crime-illuminati, I'd want to sequence her genome to find out what demon is possessing her muscular system.

SERIOUSLY. i havent provided much to the pro-ass propaganda myself yet, but that is one of my biggest reasons i believe she HAS. ASS.

yknow what? here is a quick run-down of my argument

Carmen is an athlete- we have seen her do plenty of athletic feats. When she jumps and lands with her grappling hook, girl is doing mad squats

We see that she has a gym- there is NO WAY she isnt working out with squats and stuff intentionally

Her hips are huge and in my mind it makes sense that hips correlate to ass. science may or may not back this up but i do not care

Her character design is not muscular, even though it would make so much more sense for her to be. Her arms should be buff as shit, but the animators dont draw her that way. She SHOULD have ass- but sometimes she isn't animated that way. so making a judgement just by looking may be flawed

Duane Capizzi has stated in the past that they have done revisions in scenes to make Carmen's body look different because he didnt want to sexualize her / make it easy to sexualize her, which I can respect. shes hot as fuck tho

I've seen some claim that her ass is all thigh and hips. first of all: no. and second of all: no (because of the aforementioned workout)

I want her to have some serious ass okay? sue me

[cdroloisms]

yeah hi me again with another question SO if cpunz knew the contents of the revive book the whole time cdream was in the prison, why was cdream so terrified of being killed while imprisoned? couldnt cpunz just revive him?

good question :D

i mean, dying is still kind of catastrophic, tbh -- being revived makes it really obvious that c!Dream isn't the only one with the book, which could destroy all the effort they put into staged finale (which is exactly what happened in the genuine finale, as the reveal of c!Punz and the book is what jeopardizes both his and c!Dream's lives with the nuke plan), for one. the terror of dying is something that's necessary to emphasize that He Is The Book You Need To Keep Him Alive, which is what's expected from a scenario where he's the only one with the book which is what everyone else thinks is the truth ... so there's no good reason for him not to act terrified, ykwim? Additionally, revivals are obviously causing problems (though it's unclear if he and punz knew about this by the time the prison began -- I'm inclined to say yes, but it's not hard confirmed in canon afaik) and keeping unnecessary ones to a minimum is a good play, regardless. plus, there's a lot of fucked up things you can do to someone when you can kill and revive them, and the necessity of not killing dream was very much what was protecting him in canon from shit like quackity, bc of sam's commitment to keeping him alive, etc. keeping people from ever knowing that that's a possibility protects him from Those Horrors (which have been explored already by quite a few people in quite a few AUs, at this point, LOL) -- not dying is for sure the safest choice for him, and the consequences of being killed range from "pretty bad" to "outright horrific" for c!dream no matter how you cut it -- plenty of reason to be afraid besides just death, imo.

for a much more hypothetical side of this answer, c!dream's dying to tommy and tubbo in the genuine finale really kicks off a lot -- which ends up leading to the Incident, not that it's super clear what specifically happened to trigger it (considering the planned fight against XD, the egg hatching, and the nuke literally all happened at the same time.) it's still unclear what c!Dream's specific connection to the supernatural, especially XD, is in particular, so it's hard to make any definitive judgements -- and it doesn't seem likely for c!Dream's death to be Specifically meaningful considering how many times he possibly died in death/revival experiments with c!Punz (which we. obviously still don't have a specific number, but c!Dream does say that he's been to Limbo more than once very intentionally and c!Schlatt makes a point of saying that he saw c!Dream, not Mexican Dream, in Limbo with his book of moon runes a few times as far back as march 16th) -- but that being said, could c!Dream's death be part of the Event Hullabaloo that might've played some kind of role in the everything that has to do with the server reset? I mean, possibly? He's always been someone related to the supernatural stuff on this server, so it's hard to say for sure. This latter point isn't definitive in the slightest and I think "because being terrified of death still makes sense/was the smart act to play into" is more than enough explanation for why he was acting so terrified, but it's an interesting thought experiment, I guess.

[bronx-bomber87]

Happy Saturday! First off Hallelujah the actors strike is over. Now it’s just semantics and such before we get our ship back on our screens. Just saw the SAG board approved the deal with 86% percent in favor on Friday. All that is left is getting it ratified and an episode order. We’re on the right track I can not wait. Been too damn long since we’ve been excited about some new content.

Till then I shall continue my rewatch. Hoping to line it up ending it whenever a premiere date appears. So fingers crossed on that. Once we do have that might amp it up to 3 reviews a week instead of 2. This one is not a huge content heavy one for them. It's shorter than normal, but it is Lucy’s first ep as his aide. They’re riding back together. I love it so much. Absence makes the heart grow fonder they say. Some good moments peppered in this one. Sassy married moments we all love. Off we go.

4x04 Red Hot

We start off with our lovely duo at the end of roll call. Tim coming in hot and sassy. Calling her Gofer right off the bat. Asking if she’s ready to go? He had to know he was gonna get a sassy reply calling her that first thing. Man knows what he’s doing. Tim loves their little dance and banter. So he lights the fire and waits for the results. (Also good Tall/Smol shots here my fav.)

Lucy matching said sass with some of her own. A little flirting mixed in cause they can't help it. Not showing an ounce of fear with his 'authority' haha Tim picking up on that right away. Flirting right back saying he’s sensing a lack of fear in his authority.

Oh Timothy you lost that long ago my love. You have her utmost respect but the fear? Yeah that went bye bye some time ago heh Some pre-shift foreplay going on here. We know they’re both just excited to be riding together again. It’s all over their body language and this flirty exchange.

Her ‘Yes, sir.’ So cute basically saying for her 'You don’t scare me.' LOL Lucy's body language is everything with that flirty smile. She has no problem roasting him. Tim loves it despite the words coming out of his mouth. Sunshine x Grumpy ride again. I'm so happy for it. Missed it since 3x09 that’s a long time apart for them. We’ve had lovely moments in between but nothing better than them riding together. Plus they needed time to miss one another.

They’re so obvious together. Grey hears their exchange and is holding back a chuckle as he comes up to Tim. Wade knew long before they did...That is a fact. They continuously forget everyone can hear them. It’s so funny. Carrying on like a married couple in front of their colleagues.

Lucy and Tim end up joining Nolan on his missing wife call. (So happy they’re riding together. Making my heart happy) His call has gotten more complicated because well it’s John’s call….Nolan tells them she was drugged and the people claiming to know her we're speaking Russian. So they all go back to the house where the call originated.

No one is there when they arrive. They notice the house seems off... Like it’s staged and no one actually lives there. John noting it feels a lot smaller on the inside. Tim saying it’s like a reverse Tardis...Lucy’s reaction is so damn funny. Props to Melissa for the facial expression here. I’m dying. Tim already sensing her judgement cuts it off. She doesn’t even have to say what she’s thinking. He just knows and defends himself.

S4 is the fruit of all that rapport building. We get to see the end result constantly. Watch how close they are. That silent communication coming through, the comfortability and playfulness. Not even trying to hide it anymore. The amount of sass in Tim's reply. My god she has rubbed off on this man. I love it sfm I can’t stand it. Such flirty dorks in front of Nolan it’s the absolute best. So nice to have them together on cases again. I missed it.

They get a report the car was torched but no sign of the woman over the radio. Nolan opens the cabinet and sees an impressive setup. A panel with cyrilic buttons they can't read. Goes into contractor mode saying they have 500 MCM wires. Running 400 amp service out of this place. Lucy not knowing what that means but wanting to save face says her line above. Also knows Tim may not either so she throws him under the bus LOL

It’s so cute and cheeky. The theme of this episode for them is sass. 100%. The way Tim looks at her plus his little leg stamp. LMAO His reaction saying 'Seriously Lucy?' He’s not even mad about it so much as in awe of her being so damn fresh at this point. Doesn’t even fight her giving him shit anymore. Just accepts it. Smitten man right here. Front and center.

Nolan goes on to say a normal household doesn’t tend to go past 200. Whatever they’re powering is big because just the minimum can power a house and a/c under that. Nolan starts messing around with the panel like an idiot and trips something. Because well it's Nolan. Like an unattended child. It locks down the entire house and they pull their guns in case.

Tim’s reply is the best. ‘I don’t know what it says so I push it?’ LMAO Roasting John like a marshmallow. Sassy Tim has come out to play and I’m dying. A tv turns on showing surveillance of the entire neighborhood. John asks if human traffickers normally are this sophisticated? Tim replies no…It’s a safe house.

Lucy’s interest is piqued of course. Asking if it’s for spies? Tim gives her a small peak into his past. Which you know she will eat up like crazy. Always craving to know about it. Hell me too. Any morsel we can get from Tim’s past I’m all about. Lucy in wifey mode tries to get it out of him. The when and where? You can see the absolute curiosity all over her face. He just drops a bomb like that and expects her not to try and dig a little deeper?

Tim is classic in his reply. Saying it’s classified and that is that for his answer. I'm sure he was wanting to impress her with that reply. When really she's just annoyed at him haha Lucy’s reaction is so damn funny. She is offended he won’t just share his classified past with her in front of Nolan LOL That wifey look in the second gif. Ha. Look at them just flirting away no problem in front of John. That’s not an issue but asking about his past is. These two... Also when they talk in this scene it’s like Nolan isn’t even there. I love this about them. They only pay attention to one another when they get like this. I just love their banter. It’s fantastic.

Nolan discovers a panel after hitting another button. It leads to a whole other hidden part of the house. It’s clearly where they were torturing her. They dig a little deeper and find more surveillance camera's set up. Looks like they tried destroying everything before they took off. There is still some paper work and such lying around. Looks like they didn't get everything. Tim wants them to take pictures of everything before the feds show up. Because they’ll ice them out ASAP. I love when he’s a sexy leader directing everyone. yum. gimme.

This next section when the feds finally show up is primo. Mike Weston introduces himself and Tim knows right away he’s CIA. The feds are with him though. Reason being Weston has to work with them since he isn't allowed to work domestically. Tim has some serious smug husband energy going on in this scene. Watching his girl square off and win with this guy. Lying on his behalf it’s amazing. Lucy handles herself like the bad ass he knows her to be. Coming up with this on the fly. That UC training kicking in right here.

The immense amount of pride on his face is everything. He didn’t even have to tell her to lie she just did for him. Their silent communication once again is out of this world. He just stands there proud af. Like yeah that’s my girl. Doesn’t have to say a damn word. Knows she’s got this covered. Smugly smiling at this guy trying to get them to do their job. Knowing they secured the scene and got all the photos they needed. Part of that smugness is from knowing they’re not sharing. Lucy shutting them down completely and he just stands there happy as a clam while she handles the situation.

Lucy is bummed they’re taking over. Nolan reminds them she touched his hood. Tim says they can get a true ID. Try and solve this thing before the feds and CIA know what hit them. I love this. They get a hit in the database. She’s a Russian citizen here on a NGO visa. Tim saying it’s perfect cover for a Russian agent.

Lucy with her social media skills found her Instagram page. Linking her to an Air Force major named Lyle Marks. Who she was apparently dating. Nolan says she was probably dating him just to get to secret information. Lucy calls him a cynic heh I love it. Then says yeah that’s probably the most likely scenario…

That he works for drone command and hasn’t shown up for work today. Tim says no need to loop in Weston. If they’re onto something good he will find them. They show up to Mark's house and find him tortured and killed. Weston of course shows up right after they find his body. Just like Tim said. He’s so smart. Beauty and Brains.

The fact that a soldier was killed this can’t be contained any longer. Weston realizes he’s going to need their help. Especially since this is on US soil. He brings them back to his fancy spy van. So they can have a private conversation protected. Tim gets right down to business. Asking what they know about Katerina? Mike tells them they believe her to be a FSB case officer. Just like Tim said earlier. Sexy how smart he is. Intelligence is attractive af.

Apparently she went rogue during her mission. She was supposed to be recruiting intelligence assets for Russia. It’s why those two guys came into the country after her. Rather her die than be in the hands of the CIA after she escaped. Tim asks if they knew about the relationship with officer Marks? Weston replies no or they would’ve stepped in weeks ago.

Also let’s note the lack of space with them in this scene. The Grand Canyon between John and Tim. The smallest sliver between Tim and Lucy. Another theme of this season. Personal Space? Never heard of her…

This next part is more of that proud/smug hubby energy from Tim. The way she dismantles Mike is glorious. Trying to say she’s naive and espionage isn’t a romance novel. She crushes him with some solid ass logic. Lucy owns this guy not once but twice in the same day. Lucy came to play and it's so fun to watch her confidence. The way she handles herself now. So self-assured it's just as glorious to watch as Tim's growth.

I love the look on Tim’s face. (also him licking his lips I see that tongue sir. Mmm.) His reaction is 'Wifey is right and you are dead to rights sir.' He couldn’t be prouder of her confidence with this man. Held her own from the jump. The growth here is amazing. Lucy just confidently owning her moments. Tim backing her without a second of hesitation. True partners. Nolan gives a 'Told you so' look too but it’s not as important as Tim’s LOL Weston concedes and says she has a fair point…

That being said Mike said he’s read her file. That isn’t the type of person she is. They ask why she was dating Marks then? Weston says he ran the entire west coast drone command. That he had the keys to the entire program. Tim then poses if she wasn’t stealing secrets or planning to defect then what’s her play? Mike says doesn’t know..and that scares the hell out of him

That’s their last scene together for the ep sadly. We find out with just John and Bailey she killed Marks. He issued a drone strike that killed her brother. The flash drive Nolan finds in his shop is what she wants. She wants to kill everyone else on the list of the mission. Sadly Lucy’s love theory is kaput after that haha That's all she wrote for this one. Short but sweet one for them.

Side notes-non chenford

I love Lucy reaching out to Aaron to be his support through training. He fights her at first then gives in and calls her when he has bad experience with an old friend. Aaron does stick his foot in his mouth about Jackson. Poor Lucy still hurts her talk about him.

Then they bond over it. He talks about Patrick and says it still gets him too. How it sneaks up on you. You could be having normal day and something triggers it. Aaron tells her it’s nice to have someone to talk to. Love this friendship being built.

Thanks as always to those who read these reviews and show your support through likes, comments and reblogs. It’s my fuel haha so thank you. Shall see you all in 4x05

[starryjkoo]

some random chronically online fandom and shipping thoughts #1

I just feel like ARMYs who are very obviously Y/N’s have NO reason to be judging shippers. I think it’s funny how some of them are so genuinely defensive and put off by shipping in a way I can tell is personal lol (it’s giving jealousy!). I totally understand people not liking shipping/shippers but I’ll never accept judgement from a Y/N, sorry! If you’re posting about only ONE member in a really thirsty manner after every AYS trailer and then turning around and saying “ugh, jkkrs are so annoying and delusional, jikook are brothers!” I know what you are! 🫵

slurping up all these AYS teasers like a starving animal but I’m starting to feel like they’re showing us too much now 😩 don’t spoil all the cute parts please BH!

only extremely sad and chronically online losers think that mass liking hate tweets actually means anything in the real world. a lot of these people need to get a life and go touch grass because the obsession with jm is truly weird and sad.

not everyone who wants th to appear in AYS is a tkkr, because it’s normal for ARMYs to want to see as many members as possible, but it’s kind of obvious with the ones who bring it up every chance they get lol, or the first thing they look for in a new AYS teaser, or just the specific way they talk about it. and my god are there a lot of tkkr ARMYs

I’m self aware that I’m pretty heavily biased, but there’s nothing worse than the ARMYs who hide under the OT7 visage but are CLEARLY heavily biased themselves. I simply do not like hypocrites, maybe some of them are in denial about it, idk. ofc there’s nothing worse than the ones who cosplay and try to create havoc in ARMY spaces, but that’s an entirely different thing. with that said, i’m convinced that at least 90% of active ARMYs are heavily biased at this point and we’d all be better off if they could simply just admit it.

perhaps this is my own bias so feel free to disagree, but imo ARMYs very clearly have a different sort of energy for jm antis and I think its partially because his hate has been so damn normalized in this fandom after years of tkkrs, but also because clearly a vast majority of the ARMY sh*oter accounts are diet solos and tkkrs and they always put an extra amount of scrutiny on things related to jm. they're also the first to bring shipper/solo drama into ARMY spaces (but only when it impacts their ship/bias) and they’re very clearly obviously lurking in solo/shipper territory to find it the way they do. the silence right now from certain accounts really does speak volumes.

sort of related, but the best way to gain a big following on ARMY twt is to get involved in whatever current drama is going on, for example MHJ drama, boycott drama, general fanwars. ARMYs will flock and mass follow these accounts, and a lot of them are diets who gain a platform and then spread their diet narratives later. one really good example is that elo person if anyone remembers all that, they literally were moots w/ tkk akgaes & calling them bestie but rebranded after they started gaining a mass following for “doxxing” and they started gaining attention because they were “debunking” the OG taennie icloud leaks (lol ofc they were a tkkr doing that). anyways they were awful and did a lot of harm, but they got that platform bc a lot of ARMYs flock to toxic accounts like that, especially when somethings going on, and then they’re impossible to cancel.

last shipping thought but we all know why tkkrs and y/n’s are jealous and weird towards jkk but sometimes its actually the same case for a lot of the other bts shippers, especially jk x hl shippers (like what's w/ all the j*nkookers lol) & yoonm*n. and there’s a lot of ARMYs who fall into this category actually. even if they don’t believe their ship is real, sometimes they still feel a bit passive aggressive/jealous bc they would prefer whatever content was with their bias/self-insert instead. theres so many jkk moments that have been really badly OT7’d, like I’ve never seen anything like the way almost the entire fandom rewrote history to make that jk binging jm content jk binging bts content (its legit wild to me).

and ill never forget during the disney docu when someone pointed out how jk likely knew jms apartment password and it got ratio’d at over 4k by someone saying “he probably knows all his hyungs passwords!” and it wasn’t even funny or clever lmao, it was very much giving

anyways, i believe this is one of the reasons sometimes ARMYs at large are weird towards jkk bc even outside of just tkkrs there are a LOT of HL shippers who take it pretty personally, especially if they’re the sort that projects onto one of the members in their ship. tbh, even if it’s not shipping, it’s a bias line thing where they want to fight over jm/jk being closer to their bias than they are to each other.

its whatever and just a petty complaint lol, i dont care who ppl ship/bias but i do find it annoying sometimes bc there are always ppl constantly downplaying jkks friendship and picking it apart and trying to OT7-ify it more than any other duo. its like ppl are really obsessed & its tiring. just give jkk their flowers sometimes and move on, you know? you definitely do not need to ship them or see them as romantic, but just respect their bond and the things about it that are unique to them, god

alright was just getting this out of my system because I was focused on positive vibes only for MUSE, will be going back to (mostly) positive vibes for AYS!

[shrimp-dumpling]

Made something stupid after remembering Eksval (my commandant oc) is still human and therefore cant live forever with the Gray Ravens lol

Item context:

He'll eventually die, he's still just a human. Eventually, some time later, the Gray Raven's won't have him as their commandant anymore.

He doesn't know if they think about it, he prefers they don't. He doesn't like them worrying about the inevitable, especially if its about him.

Of course, the Gray Ravens had never thought about it. Life without their commandant, someone they've bonded so closely with.

Its been a while. Tides and fights are getting desperate and busy enough to distract them from forming such thoughts.

During his rare amounts of spare time, bit by bit, he made a little toy. 3 gray ravens on a raised platform. When you touch their heads, they bob, and then go back up.

It also served as a camera of sorts, to record moments and preserve them.

It was a simple device, really. Eksval had also decided to color the gray ravens' eyes to match the Gray Raven members' main colors.

He goes to the debriefing room and attaches it on a shelf, making sure no one will steal it. He taps the head of the one with blue eyes, and as expected, it bowed.

Smiling in satisfaction that it was working properly, he leaves the room and goes off to tend to his business.

The ravens' eyes glowed in the dark. For now, there was nothing to record.

But one day, those records will be the only thing left of the commandant, a reminder of his existence to the Gray Ravens.

Item description:

A recording device made by a certain commandant. On a small, raised platform, stood three gray ravens. The ravens seems to represent the members of the Gray Ravens, though it was only evident due to the eye colors.

There was not a fourth raven though, signifying that the certain commandant who made it did not last. Or atleast, not permanently.

Engraved on the raised platform were the words "Gray Raven", as if it wasn't obvious enough that it belonged to them.

SLIGHTLY modified (as in i changed the numbers) song cuz i suddenly thought about it while making this (no eksval does not die it was all just a nightmare totally haha):

4 birds on a wire— (the gray ravens stood next to each other, contented and happy)

3 tried to fly, away, and the other— (missions took place, battles were inevitable. Due to this, the contructs had to leave and fight)

watches them close from that wire.. (the commandant watched over them, making sure nothing went wrong. It was his job to make sure they come back together.)

He says he wants to as well- (the commandant eventually joins their mission on the surface, even if it was dangerous. He tells them to not worry and that he'll be fine by their side,)

But he is a liar. (but it's not like he was the most honest man either.)

I'll believe it all— (even if the Gray Ravens were skeptical, especially Lee, they still choose to believe their commandant on his words)

There's nothing I won't understand (afterall, why would their commandant need to lie? Surely theres a reason for everything. The Gray Ravens trust their commandant.)

I'll believe it all (they trust his judgement, they believe in him.)

I won't let go of your hand (they wont let go of him, and he won't let go of them too. He'll continue guiding them, the sweet ducklings he has raised)

4 birds on a wire... (and once more, they were back together)

3 say 'come on', and the 4th said 'im tired..' (they had a mission coming up. They waited for their commandant but he didn't appear. Celia informs them that due to complications, the commandant couldn't go with them.)

The sky's overcast, (The sky hasn't been blue, not for a while now. Though they do wonder why it was cloudy, it was a little rare for it to be cloudy.)

And im sorry. (Celia couldn't tell them. No one could tell them what happened. They're so sorry.)

-

-

-

4 birds of a feather, say that they're always gonna stay together (it was a promise made. An empty one that Eksval felt sorry for.)

But one's never going to let go of that wire. (he was only human. As much as he was a great commandant, he was only human. He will always just be human.)

He says that he will, (promises are made, promises are broken. Eksval was never the most honest man afterall.)

But he's just a liar. (and yet, it still hurt when he broke that promise.)

("Tell me, was it such a crime to love you?")

[strqyr]

Steeples my fingers. I'm gonna dump out some thoughts if you don't mind (of Ozpin, as per usual since your thoughts on him are So Damn Tasty)

I think it's weird how people point out Ozpin saying "we should act every day as if the gods will come back and enact their judgment" as if this means that he thinks that judgement day is inevitable and thus he still plans on enacting it

And like. I can see where people come from- but it so obviously goes against Every Other part of his character. And thing is- Oz thinks that Salem will, eventually, bring the Relics together to summon the Gods so they destroy everything.

He thinks her plan is this: 1. Start dividing people. 2. Snatch up the Relics. 3. Bring the Relics together to summon the Gods so they destroy everything.

Alongside this, he thinks Salem can't be stopped, only prevented and has only VERY recently started thinking otherwise (and who knows if what he said to Hazel was what he actually thinks?). He thinks the only thing he can do is to prevent her from getting the Relics. And, if she does get the Relics, that he should at least keep people united because at least then everything won't be destroyed.

Why wouldn't he think judgement day is inevitable? To him, Salem will bring about said judgement day and he can't stop her. Of course he's gonna think it's inevitable, even if said judgement day is no longer his goal. Like. Gestures. Idk it feels obvious to me lol

i always took that to be more of a general, basic "moral of the story" kind of thing rather than any kind of admission that oz is actively working towards or preparing for the judgment to happen. i mean, sure, in case he does lose the relics and someone—be it salem on purpose or someone else on accident lol—brings them together and summons the gods, you want to be prepared for the best odds, but it's not like... intentional? that the judgment has to happen and he's trying to make everything work in a way that the outcome would be favorable?

man's basically stalling and making no moves of actually trying to unite the world any means necessary—he had the chance at the end of the great war when every other ruler bowed before him, and he didn't take it. hell, in the very same notes he says "we have a fragile peace, and in some way, we are more divided than ever." this is not someone who's goal is to bring worth the judgment day, like. he's practically sabotaging himself at this stage lmao

and, i mean. the people of remnant aren't super religious nowadays. the story about the brother gods is considered a fairy tale. "even if the gods aren't real, even if they don't return to judge us for our deeds, we should act each day as though they are arriving tomorrow" is saying hey, even if you don't believe in all of this, the message is still good and worth listening to: one of unity, of creating a peaceful world where everyone lives in harmony—why wouldn't you want that and work towards it?

however, i wouldn't say oz sees the judgment day as inevitable, more so he considers its outcome—that of the world being destroyed—as inevitable. i think 'the indecisive king' sums it up pretty well: the king sees a future with crossroads with seemingly no favorable outcome, and no matter what options he considers, no matter what advice he gets, he can't find a solution that changes it.

ozma is at the crossroads. he can bring worth the judgment, but there doesn't seem to be a favorable outcome; even if the world in general was fully united, he believes that as long as salem exists and is, well, salem, the gods will deem humanity unworthy—that's why he thought he needed to destroy her. his alternative is to keep living, which he has done at the cost of lives of his hosts, describing the process of merge as "extraordinarily strenuous" on everyone involved.

there's no good outcome, and ultimately it becomes about the lives of few vs the lives of everyone, and oz has chosen the lives of few even when the alternative would also end his own curse.

so all he can do is keep the relics safe as best as he can and hopefully away from salem, who he believes will either use them to "change the world" (which can mean many things) or to end it in hopes it will end her curse as well.

...kind of a side note too since this is something i noticed while going through the fairy tale, but the way the god of light describes ending the world as "if not... we will let them burn." stands out because, well: "this is the beginning of the end, ozpin... and i can't wait to watch you burn."

if that doesn't say something about oz's point of view, then i don't know what will lol