#not me tho I love characters I love faces and human perspectives

[b4kuch1n]

I just wanted to let you know the way you draw expressions is gorgeous.

thank you!! that's such a fun part of drawing esp. with varied face shapes, I'm glad it's also fun to look at!

[narwhalandchill]

how are we feeling about this project amber update

assuming this is in relation to childe bc who the fuck else JWDJWJKDJKW anon im so sorry if not. also so so sorry for how out of hand this got. i am simply unwell about him.

But! Well. there certainly are thoughts

(obviously 4.6 datamine of arle SQ and her voicelines; This Will Not Spoil Anything Abt The Main SQ Plot, i only discuss the relevant parts. also some p Heavy negativity towards fanon ooc at the start youve been warned dont @ me)

(i mean i didnt even read anything of the SQ but The scene w childe so idek the main plot of the quest rly either lmao. tho go at ur own risk if u wanna check the dialogue out; its the 2nd quest log but it does hint at the greater story)

TLDR: how i feel abt his appearance in a vaccuum? quite solid despite the briefness, actually. accounting for the way fanon is 100% likely going to be reading into this and turning it into the Lets Infantilize Ajax Even More 2024 championship? conflicted.

in other words; a certified labyrinth warriors moment - theyve expanded on childes character in a very interesting and quite a compelling way and while i Do like the potential in what im seeing from hoyos end theyve also done it so that its going to be misinterpreted to hell and back by fanon so i kinda have an immediate jaded love-hate moment going on JJWJDKJDKJWJDWKJ

its literally just labyrinth warriors flashbacks - that event has some of my ALL TIME favorite insights into who ajax is and how he views the world and himself but when the event came out all everyone cared abt was to warp it into baby boy stuck in scawwy paper boy dungeon dehumanizes himself by calling himself a weapon and doesnt love himself he is such a sad trauma meowkitten 🥺🥺so yeah

bc like lets look at this properly for a bit; okay he went back to fontaine to look for skirk still somewhat injured and waa waa my 286 month infant baby cannot Make decisions like that!!!!!11! which is to say. i am tired of him getting this shit every time.

is it smart of him to get on the move immediately with just the bare minimum of rest? no. do i like that hes straining himself before proper recovery? not particularly no. do i feel the particular need to psychoanalyze this grown man and feared warrior whos 100% survived Way Worse in Way More Extreme Situations for it? hell fucking no.

while not at all the course of action a medical professional would approve of. from childes POV its perfectly logical hes priorizing going back for skirk when its literally the FIRST TIME shes showed up in like. a Decade. when hes been looking for her all this time are you kidding me 😭😭😭 but fanon must keep fanoning for their widdle baby girl so what does a hater like me know

anyway. seething and venting over im gonna try to avoid bringing up how much i hate this kinda infantilization of ajax now im sorry for bringing it up so much on ur innocent ask anon KJWDJKWKJDJDKWJKD. neutral discussion moment. i Promise

so it seems that theyre going for the pulcinella-is-shady-about-ajax (and prolly his family) angle for good and like. personally for me as long as the only real source of that claim was scara (a cynical edgelord who doesnt believe in non-exploitative human relationships, mind you) i was rather skeptical towards just instantly drawing that conclusion, but well. with the scene in arles AQ it appears to be sth theyre building towards

i actually really fucking loved that scene bc while theres outsider perspectives (scara obvi; and even arles line for him has that vibe. and ppl still take that shit face value 💀💀) and a lot of fandom assuming childes like. completely clueless and naive and ignorant towards the potential risks involved with trusting pulcinella. this is actually a very clever demonstration of quite the opposite? and showcasing how despite his aversion towards schemes and lies hes still intelligent and knows the kind of people hes dealing with when it comes to his fellow harbingers

like. childe has a negative opinion of arle based on what pulcinella has told him about her because at face value many of her deeds are in heavy conflict with his values of loyalty and family. and because he does not have the further context behind her actions and what the HotH under her is really like. Obviously hed hold a very hostile and wary view towards arlecchino

(ESPECIALLY when with all this biased intel hes still going to run into kids from the house!!! and then hes going wtf? these are good kids. what the hell is that knave doing with them??? blink twice if you need help i will start a civil war for yall like thats how he is with kids!!!!)

so YES. pulcinella has given him if not false then at least misleading intel based on the political tension between himself and arlecchino and the wider HotH. and childes taken that at face value! sure! he is close with pulcinella of course he would!

BUT. THEN. he returns to fontaine and seeks arlecchinos help looking for skirk. and observes her behavior and modus operandi for himself as well as the kids. does he go "nah she must be just hiding the crazy evil shit i would never distrust pulcinella" and leave it at that when reality doesnt completely match his expectations?

NO. because when offered the opportunity through the traveler asking about the HotH childe immediately capitalizes on the opportunity to prod for answers and see if pulcinella is lying to him!!!!

and hes so fucking smart with the way he does it too???? i LOVE his intelligence. the entire thing is so simple yet elegant; it Completely relies on his reputation as the kinda gullible harbinger whod Never scheme or hide Anything to indirectly affirm or deny his suspicions. he doesnt Need to Pretend to care about the possibility of arle betraying the kids bc he genuinely does!! and when she pushes back against the accusation he doesnt Need to fake admitting to her that well, actually, its all just rumors so he could be completely wrong. and so on. like he navigates the entire thing so effortlessly. and whats the end result?

childe has Confirmation of pulcinellas possible ulterior motives in action AND that arlecchino is a much more reliable ally than he initially assumed. all the while appearing as just The Straightforward 11th. like obviously id need to hear it voiced first to be sure but in text it v much gives the impression hes almost kinda just. playing up the threats towards arle and being "dumb" on Purpose?? to get the answers he wanted out of arle without appearing like hes fishing for anything particular. and i just hhhhhhhhhhh

i love when he does this so muchhhh!!!!!! 😭😭 he doesnt need to become some machiavellian schemer to be able to strategize !!!!!! he avoids scheming bc he Dislikes it not bc hes incapable of it like this has Always been the case Since Liyue AQ and i love whenever they show that side of himm . my Beloved

so anyway. while i do still think the like "pulcinella is bad and has his family hostage" is still kind of a generic plotline and i hope the writing regarding the whole thing wont ultimately turn out to be sth That simplified and black and white. its p clear theyre doing Something with pulcinellas motivations and as they are. im Really glad theyre letting it show that childes not just some completely passive party being manipulated in this all. he Is thinking abt this stuff and his position among the harbingers. ig we shall see where it goes - not the greatest fan of the concept still, but canon text supports it becoming a thing way more than when it was just scaras word we had for it. hope theyll surprise me positively w how they go about it!

then briefly for the rest uhh

also loved arle and childe just shittalking the rest of the harbingers it was amazing. i wasnt expecting this kinda dynamic between them at all but its great lmao. also i wanna see childe hang out w the HotH kids

as for project stuzha; so we dont really get anything solid on it other than being summoned back to snezhnaya for it is apparently a Big Deal. but still very interested. let my man have his endgame significance Trust

childes appearance was obviously v brief ultimately but that was clear from his leaked linecount to begin with - i am pretty satisfied with what they seem to have done w him. like its not The Best but also i wasnt expecting his lore to get some massive expansion in another harbingers SQ . the worst i feared was that it was just going to be a flashback of arle returning his vision which did Not happen so massive W. i am super hyped to hear this scene voice acted proper and happy to see him again, i really hope he gets to appear at least once more in an interlude or dains quest or something before going on hiatus again but idk if thats too much to ask LKKWJDJWDJWD

also: i am never changing my namecard after this patch drops. oh my godddddddd its So Fucking Beautiful 😭😭😭😭

But. Yeah. lots of good stuff. unfortunately lots of it will get misinterpreted and fanon will get obnoxious about it. but i still love getting to see him again and i am speedrunning that namecard day fucking one mutuals and/or followers in EU please add me (UID 711090267) ill need coop buddies for the world bosses

thank youuuuuuu for the ask i hope this monstrosity of a monologue doesnt scare u off 💀💀💀

[cry-ptidd]

Me and my sister watched Hellsing together. Here's her opinion on the characters

- Alucard: "He's a cunt, but he's entertaining. I'd probably pay to see him in a strip club. I didn't like him and his shit-eating grin and 'master' bullshit at first, but he grew on me quick and i don't like that he grew on me. He's a complex character, and he's hot asf when he cries. Also I wish we'd seen his Dracula form for longer; that was awesome. Him and Anderson had a thing going on."

- Seras: "Didn't really mind her at first, but liked her after she drank blood. Her transformation and the guns are really fucking cool. I didn't like her voice and her whining at first but it got better after a few episodes. I like her when her personality became a little bit more spunky. Her story's fucked up."

- Integra: "Absolute bad bitch. Her attitude reminds me of myself so idk if I should like it or hate it, she's got a lot of pride which I respect. Really human and I like it, she takes no one's shit and she's a badass. Didn't even FLINCH when she got her eye shot out. Girlboss. She gives me ace vibes also."

- Walter: "I liked him, he was funny. And then he betrayed everyone and became emo. He gave good advice, and he was cool as hell with that wise older veteran vibe. I'm disappointed in him, but the plot twist was actually good. You'd notice the signs if you suspected him from the beginning."

- Pip: "He's FINE. I'd braid his hair any day. I was in love and then I mourned. I'm widowed. He was hilarious, plus his voice actor nailed the French. My favorite character. Screeched when he came back. He's a good leader and I loved his speeches, also his death made me cry. And I don't often cry when watching anime."

- Anderson: "kinda neutral. I didn't like him at first, he was obnoxious as fuck. Then he respected women and opposed Maxwell and his orders so he grew in my esteem a bit. His character is cool as fuck tho. I wish he didn't turn into a monster, he fell to the same level as Alucard. It's like human greed or desperation for power. Him and Alucard had a thing going on."

- Enrico Maxwell: "Lucius Malfoy. I hate him but not the one I hate most."

- Heinkel & Yumie: "Really like these two lesbians. So cool and I respect their resolve, especially Heinkel's. Rip Yumi. You were cool. Heinkel being intersex is a dope detail, she's very androgynous too. I like their designs."

- The major: "Augustus Gloop? I like the fact he refused vampirism, that was cool, but he's an actual fucking sociopath and I hate him"

- The Captain: "Ngl, I actually find him quite dope, aside from the nazi thing. Literally no one respected him, that shit had me crying. His face is pretty and his tits are big, even if he looks a bit goofy at times. Wish we'd seen more of him. I felt kinda bad when he got defeated."

- Schrödinger: "I want this thing dead"

- Rip van winkle: "She gives me the vibes of a Dr Seuss character."

- Zorin: "Bleach Ichigo knockoff. Fuck this bitch in particular I hate her"

- The Valentine brothers: "A slav squat necrophile and his gay brother that used to be a runway model but got cancelled after a scandal"

Overall: A hit, neither of us expected her to like it. She likes the political and literary aspects, and also finds the characters interesting. She doesn't really know how to feel about the ending; she considers it realistic and a good end, but she wished it was more epic. But from a writing perspective it's good. Also she lowkey wished Alucard would turn Integra into a vampire, just because it would be cool. Now we send each other memes about it. She calls Nendocard a whore when she passes by him, but says she'd buy a Pip nendo in a heartbeat

[silverpelt3600]

(Halo 2x4 spoilers)

ALRIGHT NOW, this is a stream of thoughts and was typed as I watched so this is a little incoherent.

- First of all, new intro??!?&??!! His helmet slowly covering his face while he looks at the camera?!!?! THE HALO IN SPACE?!?!!??!

- John tackling the invisible covenant was sick af, and taking him out without armor was even better (I love him he’s so awesome)

- The scene with the woman in the shop is such a good reminder of the time difference between the events of Halo and today. Puts it in perspective tbh. Also her refusal to leave was reminding me so much of the woman in the glassed planet at the start of this season. Harder to leave someone behind when it’s in your own city.

- Okay everything going on just in those like 10 seconds of seeing Cortana again was insane. Like WHAT

- Okay the part where everyone is in the bunker, the Corporal is such a good character to help humanize the situation more, especially when placed next to John. The contrast is crazy. Also “the suits are gone”, um, sorry, excuse me? This has been so stressful without anyone in their armor and now they straight up don’t get it??? Just give me a heart attack and knock me out now. And the “you were right” was SOOO satisfying. HE TOLD YALL SO!

- Watching John’s face during the speech to the marines breaks my heart. Seeing him truly take in the amount of lives in that room, and then when he got called up? Not to speak but just to let them see him??? Whole scene damn near made me cry.

- Lmao Soren “Small business owner” my ass.

- the moment I saw the gas come out from the fuel line disconnecting made my heart drop. Knew exactly what was gonna happen :(

- John fighting the covenant like a badass? GRABBING THE SWORD?? MAKEE???!? VANNAK???!? Forever cursing that they didn’t have their suits >:(

- And then the episode just ends because the writers are mean! What the hell! D:

The amount of liked characters dead at the end of this is hurts my feelings, and I am personally offended. Good episode tho 10/10

[aihoshiino]

hey please do tell us about those ai hoshino crossover ships please i too want to see my girl happy and well and loved and doted on please

i need you to know that I've been holding onto this (& another related ask) as the motivation to power through the Oshi no Anons that were sitting in my inbox and I am so incredibly delighted to finally get to answer it lol. Before I turn off my cringe inhibitors tho I thought it would be fun to talk about my Ai romance headcanons and what I like in an Ai ship because lbr when am I ever really gonna get an opportunity to ramble about that again with the way this manga is going……….

Anyway! Ai, as I write her, primarily gravitates towards being attracted to men mostly just as a result of being socialized in a cisheteronormative society but I certainly don't read her as straight! That said, I also hesitate to label her and I don't think she would be able to put a label on herself either, for a whole lot of reasons! But from my perspective as a writer, this is primarily because what Ai looks for in other people, above and beyond anything else, is acceptance. She says herself in 45510;

"I want [people] to know about the dirty parts, my rough edges, and all the rest, and I want them to say that it’s okay. That they accept me."

Ai is a character so utterly starved of love that I think gender is kind of secondary to the purehearted desire to have someone just... accept her and be kind to her. I think if a person came along and gave her that wholehearted acceptance even after seeing her at her dirtiest most unpolished self, gender would be in no way a barrier to that relationship. In fact, my original read of the HKAI relationship was that Ai threw herself into romance with him specifically because Hikaru had the potential to be that person for her but it sadly just didn't work out… or at least, Ai felt like it didn't work out.

Anyway, that acceptance is pretty foundational to any kind of Ai ship I like to write, but I've found that it's important for that acceptance to be... I guess the word would be informed and it can't come from a person who is just uncomplicatedly, unconditionally accepting of everyone. Ai does not see herself as a 'good' person, so if faced with someone who is (or someone she perceives as such) I think she would struggle a lot with feeling 'safe' in opening up to them and letting them see her true self. Ai's salvation can't ever come from somebody telling her she isn't bad, dirty, impure and all the other awful things she thinks about herself because she will never feel any sense of security that she won't be rejected if that ever changes. Love, for Ai, is a person seeing her most wretched and unacceptable self, her self hate and avoidance and everything about her she thinks is filthy and wrong, and actively choosing to accept her as she is, warts and all.

Related to that, I also really enjoy writing ships for Ai from an angle of like… reclamation of her body & her sexuality. I've talked about this too many times to count in my metas but there's this very strong underlying current in Ai's arc of self-directed shame and self-hate in relation to her sexuality that fuels perception of herself as 'dirty' and 'impure' - all because she is a person who wants and enjoys sex. I really enjoy getting to have Ai work through that specific hangup with a partner who loves her - not from the angle of 'of course you're not dirty' but 'even if you are, I want you anyway'.

I guess what it ultimately comes down to is that any important relationship I would want to write for Ai (romantic or otherwise) would need to center humanization for Ai. So much of her arc in the series, even posthumously, is about her screaming for anybody to recognize her as a human being and the ongoing tragedy of OnK is just how many people not just fail but actively refuse to do so even when it's right in front of their eyes.

Anyway, that's all the Deep, Thematic Stuff (tm) out of the way so for a shotgun round let's go for pure vibes and dynamics I like!!

Iirc I've said this before but a couple's moment to moment chemistry is really important to me when it comes to getting invested in a ship and the stronger of a rapport they have, the more I will go crazy for it. If they can't banter back and forth and relentlessly tease each other, I don't wanna hear about it!!!

This goes triple for Ai because I think her slightly cheeky sense of humor coming out when she's comfortable with someone is soooo cute... having a partner she can banter with while they pick on each other is peak to me.

I think I did lay down a more concrete Thing of dynamics I like for her somewhere, so let's see if I can dig that out...

Ai works well as the lighter, cheerier contrast in a good cheery loves grumpy/silly loves serious dynamic but with the fun oh you're a little bit fucked up actually undercurrent. I particularly like comfy, domestic dynamics (since Ai describes herself as having longed for a family her whole life) but I'm also really into slightly darker takes on this, with Ai's desire for love and companionship leading her into relationships with characters who have obsessive/possessive/yan streaks. I also love playing her against characters who also have facades/fake personas up or who otherwise do a whole lot of lying.

That last point is the one I think really Cooks My Brain over and above any other LOL. Characters who have really strong parallels with/similarities to Ai are like catnip for me. The central rapport and dynamic can vary up a lot but if the hook comes down to "characters who hate themselves encounter a person just like them and through falling in love, the two of them are able to accept & forgive each other and themselves" I will be insane about it until the end of time.

That was A LOT!!! of rambling and this post is getting very long huh…. I didn't even start on the actual part you asked lskfksks. I'll put the rest behind a cut partially because this post is log but mostly because I am a little embarrassed so you guys have to be niceys to me or I'll collapse into dust and particles.

now we're behind the cut I'M NOT TRAPPED IN HERE WITH YOU, YOU'RE TRAPPED IN HERE WITH ME!!!!!!

Most of my Ai ships are stuff I've written with friends where we've just kind of thrown characters we already were writing together and a ship happened… tho one of them is an example where I was like "I want to put these characters specifically in a salad spinner and see what happens" and then as it turns out, I was the one who got salad spun…

I think the two big ones that really cooked my brain are Ai with Rinne Amagi from the Ensemble Stars series and then Oberon from Fate/Grand Order. Both of them kind of hit that Brain Cooking Premise for me of being characters who are fundamentally the same type of person as Ai and how those similarities make them clash and conflict and cohere is suuuuuuuch a juicy premise for me to sink my teeth into.

For Ai & Rinne specifically I also will say they just had the baseline important Extremely Good Chemistry And Rapport as me and my friend were writing them… so not only was the juicy emotional stuff really good, they were just relentlessly teasing each other at all times and it was very cute. They also have a HUUUUUUGE difference in height & overall body size - Rinne is pretty tall and muscular and we all know how tiny and dainty Ai is that contrast is like, the ultimate form of moe to me……………… I actually am not really familiar with EnStars outside of just, osmosis of writing against my friends Rinne, so they were such a nice surprise and they are currently cooking my brain <3

Ai & Oberon are a bit different where that was like - because I'm also a huge FGO fan, I was super familiar with Oberon as a character and came out of his story chapter like. oh i NEED to write ai against this mfer. I don't wanna go toooooooooo into the specifics to not just dash LB6 spoilers everywhere but these two are a case where 'they are the same person' is VERY bad for Ai <3 This is definitely one of those ships I talked about where I think her desperation to be accepted can lead her into codependent and unhealthy dynamics and it's sooooooooo fucking good. Their issues and the things they want feed into each other so perfectly, it's one of those surprise crosscanon dynamics where like, I joked to a friend the other day that if this was an actual canon dynamic, I would probably find it a bit heavy handed LMFAO. But the beauty of it being a cross canon dynamic is that every time you find another parallel to mine, it's just fun and rewarding. I was also really shocked as we went through 15 Year Lie in OnK, because it kept paralleling and repeating some really eerily similar beats me & a friend had written between Ai and Oberon but between Ai and Hikaru... truly I felt like I was being pelted by the dodgeball of prophecy...

(Also, sidebar to fellow Grand Order Fuck Freaks: can you believe i was getting my brain juiced by the concept of ai and oberon and specifically ai as titania for like a whole year and then completely fucking forgot until i started rereading lb6 this week that not only is titania referred to with all the same star imagery as ai is in lb6 but she is talked about with the exact same language everyone talks about ai in oshi no ko. can somebody please help me)

Some other ships for Ai I've played and really enjoyed off the top of my head… Shou Tenkuubashi from Tokyo Aliens was like, the first character I bounced her off in a shippy capacity and I am still sooooooo deeply unwell about them. They're actually kind of unique from all my Ai ships because all the others are usually an adult Ai, but with Shou I write teen Ai. They hit on those 'fundamental similarities' I talked about where they're both abused, dehumanized kids who hate their bodies but are able to accept themselves by being accepted by someone else first……………… it's so juicy.

My friend Isa and I have also lightly cooked up a P5 AU for the purposes of playing Ai & Goro Akechi LOL. We haven't done a ton with it in practice just yet but we have a tooooooooooon of ideas and the dynamic we've chatted about them having is really fun. They actually also have a really similar energy to HKAI that predates 15YL lol, more in the specifics of "girl who is bad at articulating her emotions keeps accidentally destroying this fucked up boy w abandonment issues".

THERE'S LIKE A MILLION MORE…… I RP her so much that I end up with so many interesting platonic and romantic dynamics on my plate and I feel soooooooooo well fed as a result but I'll stop myself here otherwise I'll go on all day lol. SORRY THIS WAS SUCH A RAMBLE AND THAT IT TOOK SO LONG… I hope it itched your curiosity at least if nothing else

[annot8]

Officially half way through assassins fate - spoilers below

Chade really called that boy lantern, didn’t he?

On the subject of Lant, I am really waiting for him to do somethingggg. Both Per and Spark are so likeable, and its not that I don't like Lant, he just seems like a very random addition to this cast. Nothing against him, just hasn't really done anything yet.

But anyway, I am really enjoying this book so far! If someone had said that the final book was going to be Fitz and Beloved posing as a couple as they travel to Kelsingra, and aboard the Tarman and the Paragon, as they go to rescue their daughter... I would have not believed you. The gang have just departed from Divytown on the Paragon, with Althea, Brashen, Boy-O, and Kennitsson. And Bee is still trapped with Dwalia and Vindeliar on a ship to Clerres.

I've loved seeing so many of the old characters! Malta, Thymara, Alise, Leftrin, Althea, Wintrow, Etta, etc - I am having the time of my life! The only thing that's a little frustrating is that, because we're seeing them all through Fitz's perspective - and he isn't particularly interested in the complex relationships between all these characters - a lot of the interactions feel a bit surface level.

After Fitz, Amber, and the kids got to Kelsingra (which is still such an insane concept to me), I knew we were gonna start seeing familiar faces. Rapskal was a fun surprise! But his line - "Before I welcomed the elderling memories of an ancient warrior into my mind, I was a bumbling, stupid boy, earnest and tolerated by my fellow keepers but never respected." - killed me!!!!! Oh, my boy, what did those elderlings do to you?

I wish we could've gotten a little more time with Thymara. I really wanted to know about her work with silver, and to see her fly! The revelation of just how badly the dragons have neglected the children of their Elderlings was horrific. Fente and Sintara fighting over the growth of her and Tat's kid made me so angry. I get that the dragons think the way they do about humans but god is it frustrating!

Something I really appreciate about these books is that because Fitz isn't always the brightest, the reader is often left to work out things for themselves. I've really loved how much Hobb has expanded the lore around the Skill and the Silver, and I loved being able to make all these different connections on my own.

Seeing Alise and Leftrin, and the crew of the Tarman, again was so fun. Happy to see they're all doing well!

And then!!!! I have been waiting for Fitz and Paragon to meet since Amber carved his face. It was so fun! Amber being all "I can explain!" as if she's not known that this moment had to happen. She had so many opportunities to warn Fitz but was just in complete denial that it was going to be a thing.

It is a little strange to see Paragon from the perspective of someone who doesn't have a history with him. Fitz's opinion of him is very unforgiving. Amber loves him, Brashan is his captain, Althea relied on him to save Vivacia and her family - all these people make allowances for him because they love him. Meanwhile Fitz simply does not care lol.

Was not expecting to see Wintrow, Etta, and Vivacia, which was a treat! Don't think I've spoken about it at all here really, but Wintrow is my boy. His story felt a little abandoned in Ship of Destiny, but in the first two Liveship books, he was my absolute favourite. And the Wintrow we meet here, so many years later, felt so familiar. And I love Etta as well, no matter how much she's inconveniencing everyone lol.

One thing that is killing me tho is how casual everyone is about who Kennit really was. I get Etta and Wintrow being a bit blind about him, but the way Amber and Brashen are so dismissive of Althea's trauma is crazy. Like, no one cares except me and Althea for some reason?? I loved how interesting and well thought out Kennit was as a character, but these guys are STILL worshipping his memory and it makes it such a difficult read.

What else makes this a difficult read are the horrors Bee is going through! That scene where they come out of the pillar in Chalced and they are pinned underneath it, and people are pissing and vomitting and being sexually assaulted (Kerf, you are my enemy!!) was maybe one of the most horrific, visceral things I have ever read.

I don't know if I've ever hated a character the way I hate Dwalia. She is so awful to everyone! I was feeling a little bad for Vindeliar but nah, not anymore. They can all rot. The only upside to them continually finding Bee every time she escapes them is that at least she and Fitz are going to the same place.

Bee is my girl. I love her so much. Her relationship with wolf-father (I am cryingggg) is so sweet. Crazy that of all of Bee's fathers, the wolf is the best one. I just know Molly would be so devastated at how Bee has been dragged into all the mess that she fought so hard to protect her family from :(

Anyway, back to reading. I am sure this book will ruin me :)

[hauntedpearl]

ooh can't stop thinking about this!! the athing about cas getting killed in moriah instead of Mary is like. it would take the tragedy to the next level!!

at the end of th day, the point of moriah is like. revealing god as this merciless, selfish creature without a care for the things he's made. he thinks only of his personal enjoyment and he's so full of himself about his writing prowess or whatever right. and the tragedy of it all in the futility of human effort in the face of a god like that.

not to forgive dean for his crimes and transgressions, BUT, he *does* lower his gun. like that's an important moment in the entire episode, even though it gets glossed over to the point of people thinking he probably shot jack. he didn't! like this is that bible story — Issac and Abraham — but it's turned on its head. God goads Man into sacrificing his Son. And Man says No. In the moment before he is supposed to pull the trigger. he lowers his gun, says No. says I Won't and Can't do it. And God who pardoned humans once, he says, well if you can't, i will. it's. INSANE. like!!! the point is that at this juncture, the story has spun out so far beyond their control that they can fight it but it will mean nothing. because God's here and he hates you and he loves you and you're his toys and he's pulling your plastic heads off and there's nothing you can do to stop him!

Now coming back to Mary: I think one of the problems with Moriah is like. Mary's death is just. not enough of a catalyst for them. (also Jack in the box is thee most confusing episode TO ME like that's another reason Moriah will never be That Effective. bc like. dean locked him in a box!! who cares about his little moment of redemption!! but okay). Like okay we as a fandom love her, but also, let's be real, her realtionships with the characters are not developed well enough. most of my friends who watch the show but don't participate in fandom were like. i didn't even care that she died. because it *was* like that. Like first of all, there's no meaning to it except to further Male Angst and it doesn't work because they didn't want to develop her character properly anyway. I just feel like. If it was Cas tho. the conflict between them would be That Much More Intense.

From dean's fucked up perspective, Jack has already killed Cas once. Add to that his soullessness — which, for Dean, completely transforms him from Jack, my son into The Thing That Looks Like Jack is like. I think his rage would feel more justified for the audience, solely because he's shown it in some capacity before. And it. like. makes sense.

Even from Jack's PoV, that's HIS DAD. And the extent of how his being Soulless affects him. like. you can see it when he feels anxious about his actions resulting in something bad but he can't dredge up the pain that comes with losing someone so important to him. It would've been heartbreaking to see his confusion in that moment. ADD TO THIS the fact that Cas, like, traded himself to the Empty for Jack, and all that. OOF.

Anyway. this post is very vague i do have scenarios brewing in my head that i think would make this more clear but!!! just!!! i am thinking about it!!

[psychewritesbs]

I recently saw a comment saying Sukuna is Megumi's Mahito, and y'know what it makes sense! After everything, I think Megumi has more beef with Sukuna now than Yuji does.

Right! And this goes back to those parallels... I'm going to let the boss indirectly answer this one tho: Spooky's thoughts on the topic.

What I'll add to the topic is the depth psych perspective--I taco'bout it under the cut.

I haven't read Spooky's meta yet, and Spooky might have already mentioned this but... if I remember correctly, the outcome of Yuji vs. Mahito ended up being an acknowledgement of them being the same.

Sort of like Yuji acknowledged he was no better than Mahito's hate for humanity. That's what I understood of this but I could really use another read to deepen my understanding.

Anyways, all that to say that, part of the goal of the bath, is to marinate Megumi in cursed energy to have him be near "evil", right?

To me this feels like Megumi has to face and confront and accept inner-evil the way Yuji had to confront his own hatred. This is especially poignant for Megumi because he's someone who rejects good and evil in himself and others. So this is defo part of the growth he needs to achieve: to bridge opposites.

In fact, I was reading a bit more about Vajrayana...

(source)

... and part of what's really neat about this idea is that "in the Tantric view, enlightenment arises from the realization that seemingly opposite principles are in truth one."

Or in William Blake's words... "without contraries is no progression."

HMM! What is Gege cooking here?! Fascinating stuff.

SO... Megumi has big time beef with Sukuna because of everything that has happened, yes.

AND, Megumi also killed others without regard for them. We can use the self-defense argument all we want to sugar coat it, but it doesn't change the fact that it was a choice made in the name of self-preservation.

Also, the way Megumi was so blasé about killing Reggie always unnerved me. Almost like he had to turn away from his humanity to be able to kill someone and not have this act disrupt his ego the way it happened to Yuji. To me this comes back to the idea of being self-sufficient that Sukuna talks about in ch 236.

The only way you can kill others so easily is if you have no regard for their life to begin with; either because you see yourself as separate from them and/or because acknowledging their value is to love them (??).

So I feel like this idea that Sukuna is Megumi's Mahito probably comes back around to the mindset that the characters have, and how Sukuna's turning away from love might be his own downfall precisely because of his over-identification with his sense of self.

Something like that lol.

Thanks for stopping by anon!

[sandraharissa]

So I haven’t been in this fandom for YEARS but I just came across smth that always bugged me so ig I’m venting.

So the fandom has always been very critical of Odin but I always found it to be to a fault. I’ll generally see very exaggerated, not canonically supported takes on Odin that paint everything he ever did in the worst light possible. To the point where it’s just extremely boring to me. Odin being pure evil is infinitely less interesting than him being gray flawed-but-loving parent. Now I realise a huge chunk of the fandom would love a ‘Loki realizes Odin will never love him and gets over him’ narrative but I find it 1) personally extremely emotionally unsatisfying 2) waaaaay beyond a story that could ever be handled well and with enough nuance by the mcu 3) a bit too not complaint with the first movie and in general with the framing in all of these movies to truly stick the landing.

For example, ppl would often try to turn the information that was stated in canon that ‘Loki got adopted’ into ‘Loki got kidnapped’. The problem with that is that it’s solely based on headcanon. From a Watsonian perspective you can try to argue that Odin could be lying but from a Doylist perspective this is the only time we’re given information on that matter, and if the truth on such a crucial aspect of the story was different then it’d be extremely important to reveal the real truth to the audience at some point, but the writers never do that. Actually there’s a deleted scene found in the script where Loki reveals to Laufey that he’s his son, where Laufey explicitly agrees that he abandoned Loki, calls him weak and ‘a bastard son’. Now this is a deleted scene so it’s not canon, ig we could say it’s soft canon, but either way it gives us insight into the writers’ original intent behind writing the whole script including the vault scene and it presents the more fleshed out version of the story, where such a crucial information as Loki’s origin is indeed double-checked by Loki with the ‘original source’.

Next matter, the writers never thought through the story nearly as much as the fans do. The worldbuilding, history and lore of this world are next to non-existent. We don’t know anything about the Jotun culture, so who knows maybe leaving someone of royal blood in a temple was done for their own protection or maybe it was a sacrifice to their gods or smth, or maybe it has no meaning at all and he was simply left behind anywhere when others were fleeing. Similarly we don’t know anything about Asgardian customs so maybe the party at the end of the movie was smth disrespectful toward Loki’s recent presumed death or maybe it was exactly how they do it. We’re just left to either take the framing at face value even tho the framing is sometimes noticeably faulty or come up with headcanons.

And speaking of that party scene, along with weird assumptions about Asgardian culture I’ve also seen weird reading of Odin’s behavior. Now Anthony Hopkins clearly never cared about this role and in most scenes he barely even moves so I know that probs doesn’t help the perception that Odin the character doesn’t care about what’s happening around him, but we also do get some things out of him like this:

He's shown alone and isolated from the rest, staring blankly at the Bifrost where everybody thinks Loki died and it seems he can barely speak, but that somehow translates into ultimate proof that he’s happy/indifferent that Loki is gone, like ??? Absolutely bizarre takes. I would often see ppl scrutinize Odin’s behavior like this like they’re body language/human behavior “experts” or whatever, as tho it’s not the case that all the characters often appear to be underacting/underreacting when intercut with Loki’s drastic and often very realistic looking displays of emotion. And even with that in mind there’s always enough obvious cinematic language used in those scenes that you can clearly tell the authorial intent. Like you’d think somber music and sad faces and staying away from the party, in contrast to all the partying guests, would make it clear enough that Loki’s family is mourning. But ig they’re not mourning visibly enough for some ppl’s liking.

There’s more scenes like that that really convey the love between all the different family members, but then we also get these confusing scenes like ‘your birthright was to die’ or ‘am I not your mother’ or ‘That hope no longer exists to protect you. You betray me and I will kill you.’ that just kinda happen but then nothing ever gets explained or resolved. Unfortunately it’s likely the writers just think there’s nothing wrong with this kind of behavior and that the characters were justified/right in saying those things. So the fandom’s stuck not being able to just ignore the worst of it, and for me also not being able to ignore all the framing and writing that conveys real love within the family that I want to root for.

In broader strokes I would say the first movie is the most defining for the franchise and the characters and that’s the one that has me rooting for Odin and Loki’s relationship. Then came TDW and it was the real beginning of the end, not TR. This movie was the first that tried to simply sweep under the rug all the interesting drama the previous movies built. They find a way to get rid of Frigga, they get rid of Odin and rush his arc to its end (originally with no intention to bring him back ever again, according to interviews) and they also tried to get rid of Loki for good and rush his arc to its end. Leaving Thor free from having to deal with all the family drama ever again that ig powers that be decided no one wanted to see, until changes were made. With the third movie continuing to axe everything that’s left from the Thor franchise and continuing the task of writing out Thor’s family members, bringing Odin and Loki back, giving them both more flattering conclusions and then killing them off again. And what a pity cos the bones for great arcs for these characters are all there. If only there was a single cohesive vision for the franchise that allowed for continuous cohesive arcs throughout the trilogy.

Anyway, ig I still had some mourning to do for all that development that never happened and that at this point we’re way beyond ever getting.

[the-sky-is-my-home]

alright because it looks like they're losing by like 1 vote rn, here's some AtsuAranKita propaganda for @hqrarepairtournament

I truly believe they're the ultimate polyship. like every combination is great on its own but also adding the third only makes it better and also each individual member gets exactly what they need.

AtsuAran - childhood friends to lovers. literally what's not to like? from the "oh he just sees me as a friend" to the safety and comfort they get when they're together, knowing the other has already seen them at their worst moments and still loves them, so there's nothing to worry about. plus they're a comedy duo who miss each other so much when they're on separate teams :( they just belong together!!

AtsuKita - textbook definition of opposites attracting! both of them think the world of each other and they balance each other out perfectly. prime material for both of them to think "oh he's not into me because I'm nothing like the things he values" when in reality they see the other's strengths as extra amazing because those are their own weak points.

AranKita - perfect highschool sweethearts. they just vibe with each other. kings of quietly appreciating each other and shyly linking hands as they walk home together. this is the romance kita's grandma dreams of for him. they're so stable and supportive and good at respecting each other's boundaries you wouldn't believe they haven't been married for years.

But! Also!

Kita is here to kickstart things for AtsuAran. He makes Aran realize he's not actually okay with third wheeling all the time (whether that's for the twins as kids or for the blossoming AtsuKita romance), and Atsumu that taking Aran for granted is like the dumbest thing he could possibly do (and he's done many dumb things). Kita can point out the bad habits they've accumulated over the years and just gotten used to, to make them change themselves and their relationship for the better.

Aran can mediate between Kita and Atsumu. He understands each of them better than they understand each other, especially at first. He can bridge the gap between them when both of them think it's too big, and save them a lot of heartbreak, especially since they both trust him so much and confide their feelings to him.

Atsumu is like, AranKita's own personal hypeman. like both of them suffer from what I call "side character syndrome" where they think of themselves as secondary and not that special even when it's completely untrue (see Kita going "I'm just some guy, a human invited to a banquet of monsters" like every single of those 'monsters' isn't afraid of him and thinks he's literally flawless. and Aran is one of the best players, literally bokuto level but he's like "yeah this is the miya twin team. let me narrate their flashback, I'm just kinda also here"). but Atsumu would have none of this. he'll casually assume Aran will be there when he makes it to the olympics. he'll be so happy and proud and in awe every single time he gets to eats rice Kita grew. also he's the one to get things moving. after the 20th time walking home hand in hand he'll be like "okay I waited long enough give me a KISS I'm going insane here" while AranKita on their own would've waited like another 100 times until either of them would've brought up the possibility of a kiss even tho they totally want it.

And!!!

Aran gets to have a bf for any situation he could need one. Atsumu for endless, in-depth volleyball discussions at times of night where they should be sleeping, and for fun nonsense that makes him feel like a kid again. Kita for some peace and quiet and a rational, realistic perspective on whatever problems he faces. And of course, one bf to complete his jokes and one to laugh at them. This is what he needs.

Atsumu is a needy bf for sure, but with two partners who are more mature and patient than him, he never has to feel like he's too much, and they can reign in his worst impulses. (also both of them help with his most important platonic relationship because Kita can help him understand osamu's decision to quit and the value of making food, while Aran being in the pro leagues means Atsumu isn't alone there, he still has one of the people he started volleyball with right there, making it easier to accept). and with Aran around, he can always be boke instead of tsukkomi, which he likes way better, and with Kita around, he'll never have to worry about nobody laughing at their jokes (yes this is very important).

Kita loves and needs his routines, which both of his bfs are used to and know not to disturb. But they also bring some change and new, unexpected things with them whenever they return to him to keep him from being stagnant. Kita gets to look outside the bubble of his humble life when he watches them on TV and then proudly brag about them to anyone who will listen. and you guessed it, most importantly, they make him laugh. with how happy he always looks when they're around or he's talking about them, nobody thinks he's a robot or scary anymore.

hopefully you all see my vision now. please. vote for them.

[allthoughts-headgay]

ok ok ok gl!ranboo and cabinet man by lemon demon this is gonna be long so its under the cut

"Electric desires had unraveled all my wires" - !!!!! WANTING TO ESCAPE THE MASK W THE WIRE THINGS

"Now I'm in the box for safekeeping "-!!!!!!!!!!!! THE BOX AROUND THEIR HEAD (which also looked like a tv 👀)

"The news reporters reported that I died" - HE GOT TAKEN FROM HIS LIFE AND SHIT

"But all my organs were living on inside" - EVEN THO THEY WERE BEING CONTROLLED BY SHOWFALL AND SHIT HE WAS STILL ALIVE SOMEWHERE IN THERE

"Circuit board to brain" - WHEN HE WENT ALL NPC

"With two lungs collecting change" - HE AND THEIR LITERAL BODY WERE BEING USED FOR PROFIT

"One big human heart gently beeping" - AGAIN, HE IS HUMAN SOMEWHERE IN THERE BUT EVEN THAT IS BEING BENT AND USED FOR ENTERTAINMENT

this next part could work like a duet between showfall and gl!ranboo

showfall:

"You can't win me, I can't be beat" - showfall is inescapable, they are doomed to just repeat the cycle forever

"I won't hurt you unless you cheat" - the streamers will be safe as long as they do not resist (hetch?? hello??) and just go along with the cycle, they will just keep reviving

gl!ranboo:

"You can't see me behind the screen" - he still keeps some of their humanity hidded from showfall and the viewers, no matter how much they are used for entertainment

"I'm half human and half machine" - he has given up so much of himself and their identity for views, plus the mask controlling him and shit

this next bit is just gl!ranboo again

"Thank God for business, they let me take the floor" - showfall had determined that ranboo would provide them with profit, so they took him

"I stood so proudly, like I was going to war" - they were stuck in this situation, but did not give up. he stayed strong and faught back against showfall

"Players soon appeared and I quickly was revered" - players = viewers, controlling ranboo's actions yet rooting for his escape

"This must be what love would have felt like" - they were robbed of the chance at real love, and instead only received the sort of fake "love" given by the viewers. one who's entire identity is turned into a character for entertainment cannot be truly loved within that character

"Such dedication, they came from miles away" - the viewers were relentless, coming in from all over the world to control him. some wanted them to escape, some seeing them as just a character

"With eyes so piercing, they'd wait their turn to play" - the viewers were observing and analyzing everything he did, seeing the situation as little more than a game for the viewers to win

this next bit is showfall

"Perfect patient lines because I was in their minds" - the viewers waited patiently for their turn to affect the situation, accepting everything they saw at face value. in a way, showfall was controlling them just like they were controlling ranboo (squiggles, the funny situations distracting the viewers, etc)

"I could do whatever I felt like (whatever I felt like)" - because the viewers did not question what was going on or try to break free from showfall's control over them, showfall could present whatever it wanted and the viewers would go along with it

this bit is gl!ranboo again but with the idea that he had gone through many cycles before (or perhaps in the future if they had not died?) before he dies so not totally canon but who knows

"I'm happy for years and years" - ranboo is complacent in showfall's control, deciding that it was better/safer to play along and not resist (like when he went npc?)

"And, only eating the occasional maintenance man" - he rarely rebelled (until the end), oblivious to what was really going on

"Only driving a few kids to madness" - at least in ranboo's perspective, most of the viewers did not care about them. to the viewers he was nothing more than a character. most of the viewers would not go mad spending their days worrying or theorizing or trying to get them out, they would simply move on. (key word in this line is "few" lol)

"Maybe they were predisposed to madness, who knows?" - maybe those viewers were like that for every fictional character, maybe that's just the way they are, they still don't see that he is actually a person

"I only want to have fun" - they just want to be able to live their life, even though he's accepted that his life is now just being used as entertainment. at least they have some sort of purpose

"But now they're telling me my days here are done" - the viewers inevitably get bored of ranboo, and he no longer provides showfall profit. he has no purpose, there is no reason to keep them around.

"'Cause there's a tiny little box that they make in Japan and pretty soon it's gonna fit in your hand" - as soon as ranboo becomes obsolete, there will be another form of entertainment pushed in front of the viewers' eyes to keep them engaged. it's a never ending cycle.

this bit is gl!ranboo, a while after they are replaced

"It's getting lonely, it's getting hard to breathe" - he has been turned into a character, their sole purpose was to entertain. once the viewers move on, there is nothing left for him, and nothing left of them to turn back into a person

"The arcade's empty, I think it's Christmas Eve" - the viewers are off having fun somewhere else, trapped in the cycle of fake characters and fake situations to keep them distracted, to make them forget

"Someone's broken in, now they're painting on my skin" - some viewers inevitably remember ranboo, coming back to them even after he's been discarded, expecting to find the same exact character that they knew.

"Breaking me and taking my quarters" - he's suddenly being used as entertainment, drained for money, just as they thought he'd found peace.

"Bashing in my face with a crowbar, kicking me and pushing me over" - ranboo is suddenly forced to create more entertaining content, contort themself back into the character, in order to keep the remaining viewers constantly happy

"Now they see my blood on their sneakers" - inevitably, some of his humanity comes out, shocking and driving away any remaining viewers, leaving them lonely, but finally at peace, yet still unable to find themself again.

[hhoneyglasss]

coke zero

notes: hello ! it's been a bit, but here's my first take on lovely ! i've nvr written for them before, so pls be patient w me lolol. i'm also trying out third person perspective, since i think that's what ppl tend to prefer in terms of listener characters (plus i've nvr written it before). i actually kinda like it, so i'll def be writing it more.

also, i actually began writing this awhile ago (like two or three weeks now) before i knew abt vincent and lovely's new BA, so i added a different ending to this so it would go a bit better with it (said ending had me adding 700 words to this fic, but that's oki !) also, ig this would take place before said new audio, although i'm not sure it matters. figure i'd mention it anyways tho.

and no, i am not sponsored by coke zero !! i just thought it would be smth lovely would like (don't ask, bcuz idk either)

hope u enjoy !!!

pov: lovely — third person limited

pairings: lovely/vincent, lovely/coke zero (jkjk)

word count: 1.7k

ao3 link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/46691254

!! TWs {these begin under the cut} !! slight angst, but nothing too severe. lovely gets a little emo in this one, basically.

reblogs r v much appreciated !! thank u !! <33

It’s a nice night tonight–the moon is round and full, a pale, milky glow overlaying everything in view. The stars seem to glitter even though they’re lightyears and lightyears away, almost as if they’re calling to Lovely, who's sitting on the railing of their balcony. 

Vincent’s out tonight–some business to attend to with William about a new property they’re buying. He asked if they wanted to tag along, but they declined, so a chaste kiss was left on their cheek before he hurried out the door, only the scent of peppermint and diesel left behind. 

A Coke Zero’s in their left hand, though they don’t know why. They didn’t even realize they were buying it until they felt the weight of an 8-pack in their hands, the store receipt crumpled in their back pocket. 

They can’t remember the last time they drank it, but they do know one thing–it doesn’t taste the same as it used to. 

Gone is the taste of humid summer nights and anxious all-nighters before an exam. Gone is the taste of embarrassment because they blew out yet another lightbulb. Gone is the taste of seawater underneath the warmth of the day’s sun. 

Each time they take a sip, it’s sweet, sour, then bitter, yet they keep drinking–and they know they’ll keep drinking until the entire bottle’s gone, until the entire pack is gone. They’ll keep going until nothing’s left but eight empty glass bottles and memories still so vivid they’re painful. 

How do you manage when you’re stuck between two worlds yet forever bound to one? You could say it’s funny, but Lovely thinks it’s sad–although there’s a part of them that can appreciate the humor and irony of it. 

How can one claim to still be human when their heart doesn’t even beat? How can they call themselves ‘human’ when their blood is forever frozen? How can they still feel human when they run so fast that death can’t even catch up? 

When they look around them and can see the smallest fibers of dust floating through the night air, they know they couldn’t before. When they pick up the scent of squirrels asleep in their nest half a mile away, they know any other human can’t. 

But isn’t this what they chose? Isn’t this what they wanted? 

It’s been over a year, yet they’ve still got one foot in the human door and a hand in the vampires’. They look in the mirror and see silver and red eyes staring back, yet they swear they can still feel the pulse of electricity in their veins. Their core is nothing but a solid sphere of marble, yet they can still feel their face heat up whenever Vincent kisses them. 

What’s the point of being able to run faster than wind if they can’t outrun this? They seem to have escaped everything else, outran everything else, but somehow the human part of them is able to stay up to speed? Why? 

These are the answers they’re searching for as they stare up at the moon, a celestial oculus penetrating the black of the night. They think about how this is the same moon they’ll see for the rest of eternity.

Eternity. The thought of being alive that long makes them laugh so hard some of the Coke Zero spills over the side of the bottle, and it slides down their hand. They laugh and laugh and laugh until it turns to tears, and the tears mix with the Coke Zero and the sound of it fizzing makes them wish they could go back to who they were before. 

They watch as it drips down their hand and onto the wood of the railing before it soaks into the cracks of the splinters, and it‘s gone. 

Earlier today, they had cut their palm on the edge of a paper they were cleaning from off the kitchen counter. One drop of blood had dripped before magic flowed to their hand, and the cut was gone. They felt the tears worsen when the expected burn of soda in a half-healed paper cut never came, and they tilt their head back. 

Isn’t it backwards to wish for the delicate vulnerability that comes with being human? They miss the cheap latex bandaids, the pain of isopropyl alcohol, the countless bruises that appeared on their skin even though they hadn’t a clue where they came from. They miss being reckless—they miss doing stupid shit and having to face the consequences of it. 

And maybe this was why they fell off that mountain. Maybe it wasn’t just an accident—maybe it was their attempt to feel that human fragility again that they took for granted. They got so close, too—until they fed and the wounds healed and not a scar was left in the wake. 

Maybe that’s why they gun it 80 down 45 mile an hour roads. Pedal pressed down to the ground as far as it will go, wheels squealing against the asphalt as they chase that mortal thrill of being careless and impulsive. Yet each time the crash is incoming, they catch themself, and the danger of it all disappears. The high remains out of reach, forever a forbidden finish line. 

It seems they’re too fast and too slow at the same time, how sad is that? A dichotomy that lives and breathes inside Lovely, someone who’s torn between two halves of themself. 

Will these feelings change? Will they ever not feel like a stain on the Solaire name? Will there be a time where they look in the mirror and see those silver eyes and come to accept them? Will they ever feel like themself again? 

Lovely takes another swig of Coke Zero and looks up at the sky. They can’t answer their own questions, so why should the stars be able to? All they do is twinkle millions of miles away–Lovely supposes they’re chasing their own questions too. 

They hear Vincent at the front door, but before they’re able to react, the whoosh of the balcony doors can be heard behind them. They turn to see him standing there, his hands still holding onto the knobs. He catches the reflection of the moonlight on their tear stained cheeks, and he’s holding them before they even had the chance to set down their bottle. 

He asks them what’s wrong, but they don’t answer. Sobs hold back their voice, and they stay quiet as they lean into him. He doesn’t press his questions, but instead continues holding them, his hands running up and down their back as they rest their head in the crook of his shoulder. 

The minutes continue to tick by until Lovely pulls away, the heel of their palm wiping away the new tears they had shed. They look up at him, a shy smile tugging at their features when they ask if they can go on a run together. Vincent nods, smiles back, and holds their hand anyway as he leads them down to the ground floor of the house. 

Before he can ask them where they’d like to go, they’ve broken into a sprint through the underbrush, and he’s quick to follow soon behind them. Their laughter up ahead fades into the sound of cracking twigs and crunching leaves, and he can’t help but to laugh too. The brambles catching and tugging into their jacket have yet to faze Lovely as they keep running, the wind warm on their face as it dries the rest of their tears. They don’t know where they’re going, but they don’t quite care either, so they just keep running until they find out. 

They finally see a break in the forest’s artillery of trees and they emerge through it, a welcomed burn pulsing through their legs and their breath heavy as they walk onto new ground. Vincent’s close behind them, and Lovely giggles as he combs the gumballs and twigs out of his hair. 

They turn away from him and look around. They’re at a cliff–or more specifically, a waterfall, as they can hear the sloshing and rushing of water to their right. The ground is soft and doughy beneath them, the marsh plush as they walk towards the edge of the cliff. They sit down on it, their legs dangling over the black, jagged rock as they gaze down at the pool of black water down below. They run their fingertips along the edges of the cliff’s precipice, the texture rough and gritty, but cool from the waterfall’s mist.

Lovely stands up again and begins to take off their shirt and shorts, to which Vincent chuckles and asks what they’re doing. They point down at the pool, a sly smirk pulling at the corners of their lips. Vincent sighs before pulling off his own shirt and pants, and he moves to stand beside them. 

Lovely grabs his hand and smiles at him, and he swears the sight coaxes the air out of his lungs. He’s breathless as he looks away, and Lovely counts down from three before they finally jump off, their hands still intertwined. 

On the way down, Lovely yells, a wondrous sound filled with so much joy it has Vincent yelling too. It turns into loud laughter as the intense rush of wind grows cooler and the water comes closer. They finally splash down and Lovely relishes in the feeling of water wrapping around their skin and Vincent’s hand still in theirs. 

When they finally reach the surface and their eyes meet his, they swear they’ve never felt more free. 

They both cliff dive for hours, jump after jump yet the excitement of it never fades away. The night passes before they finally shrug back on their clothes and sit on the cliff again, the black sky fading as the dawn begins. The sun still has yet to rise when Vincent hands Lovely a bottle of Coke Zero–they smile and let out a small chuckle. He’s got a bottle for himself too and he pops it open with his teeth before wrapping his arm around their shoulder. They lean into him, and a sigh leaves them as they take that first drink. They both sit there as they watch the sunrise, the only sounds that can be heard being the rushing of water beneath them and the swishing of Coke Zero in glass bottles.

[danothan]

hi i’d like to deconstruct one of the jason todd songs ever (ft. the bipolar jason agenda)

“It's fucking sad that we need a tragedy to occur to gain a fresh perspective in our lives. Nothing happens for a reason, there's no point even pretending, you know the sad truth as well as I.”

jason’s death had no purpose. he wasn’t a hero, he wasn’t a martyr, it was a pointless death in a long line of many. the tragedy of it was that it didn’t have to happen, and that’s why he blames batman for not killing the joker. it wasn’t his dying that he was upset abt, it’s that batman let the joker continue that long line of death

“Oh god, the morning light sun rays bring my paranoia. I can't function unless I'm the only one awake.”

jason works alone, puts himself at a distance. this line frames it less as a choice tho, as if it’s other ppl that are unpredictable factors, as if he’s unable to put his trust in ppl again

“Rancor of our last conversation, that forbidden word you deform to handicap me, then abuse your advantage.”

the forbidden word here is probably “love.” bruce’s problem is that he isn’t much of a talker, he doesn’t express his love in a way that jason needs. the incongruence between his actions and his words “handicaps” jason, puts him at a disadvantage as he reaches out for bruce’s approval. it speaks volumes that the narrator doesn’t say “the forbidden word” either

“Because your eyes are an agent of darkness. There's nothing to fight. It's just a bit of fait accompli.”

going off from that last line, talking to bruce is like talking to a wall. jason sees nothing left in bruce’s eyes; to him, there is no more grief or hope. the “fait accompli” is that bruce has moved on, but even beyond that, it’s jason’s death as a whole. there’s no option left but to accept that everything has changed

“I spend my waking hours haunting my life. I made the one I love start crying tonight, and it felt good. Still there must be a more elegant solution. Lately I'm rotted in the filth of self-offered agonies that really should fill me with shame, but all I have is this manic energy.”

tbh i don’t rly have anything to add here, i just love the death imagery of ghosts and rot, as well as the mania and self-sabotage of it all. very jasoncore

“I lost my page in being the black stamped disciple in your heart collage. Just want to celebrate me. Need to suffer more.”

robin status revoked! he knows he had his flaws, but he was devoted not only to batman but also to bruce. it’s a mix of feeling like he wasn’t enough as well as doing all that he could. at the emotional core of jason’s motives, he wants to be understood and appreciated. his suffering is a fruitless search for closure, smth he puts himself thru bc he thinks he deserves it. he suffers to make up for himself

“Face our puerility. Converts officiate. Divides new stratagems to disembowel our quotidien characters.”

good lord listening to any of montreal song forces you to pull out the dictionary. i Think what this line is saying is that they have to face their pasts to learn and destroy who they know themselves to be, and only then can they move on. jason saying this to bruce doubles as a taunt: “i’m not the kid you remember anymore.”

“I know I'm upside down about you. Your kindness feels like blasphemy or some sick education on the limits of humanity, so I profane the laws of some Victorian garbage.”

jason and batman have the same goals: they want what’s best for gotham. he feels “upside down” abt bruce bc they were in it together as batman and robin, he taught him everything he knew. but the closer the goals, the bigger the differences feel. that’s why it feels especially blasphemous that batman’s no-kill rule is for the sake of humanity. jason views bruce’s sense of justice as smth sick, ineffective, old-school. it’s “victorian garbage.” his so-called mercy is what got jason killed

to be clear, this is all in jason’s pov. i don’t think he’s as spiteful or cruel as this song makes him out to be, but i think it carries the kind of self-deprecation that he Does view himself thru. and the bitterness definitely reflects his emotions, as well as the back-and-forth between his smug call-outs vs desperate attempts at closure/vindication. i would even say they’re one and the same

tldr; jason todd is bipolar, of montreal diagnosed him

[nightcolorz]

Hi! I loved your post on gender in the vc vs show conception. Could you write your thoughts on Gabrielle?

AAAA tysm!! I would love to !! I love Gabrielle so much I have Thoughts. Tw v in-depth talk about gender dysphoria and excessive use of the word perceive 

With Gabrielle Anne Rice wrote the most accurate depiction of gender dysphoria I’ve ever come across in media. Of course there’s been portrayals of trans ppl and gender dysphoria that come from an educated and purposeful place, but with Gabrielle it’s so visceral that I find it more relatable and meaningful then any intentional trans representation I’ve ever seen. Because, Anne Rice didn’t write Gabrielle as a trans person, and yet she ended up creating a character perceived vastly as trans by readers just by projecting her own discomfort around femininity onto her. 

I’m thinking about the scene in tvl where Gabrielle cuts all her hair off her first night as a vampire and has a horrified meltdown when it grows back the next day. I was so shocked by this when I read it bcus I Felt That, and I couldn’t stop thinking, “did Anne Rice just write the most compelling and affective piece of trans horror I’ve ever read BY ACCIDENT?” Bcus,,, that feeling that no matter what u do with ur appearance you will never be seen as how you see urself in your head. You’re free now (vampirism in Gabs case), you can do anything u want with ur appearance, nobodies stopping u, but it doesn’t matter-bcus your hair is just going to grow back the next day. Any kind of euphoria induced alteration u make will just be undone. You’re trapped in your own body.

Gabrielle is a “woman” turned into a vampire at her frailest state, right before death, after a life of being forced into the role of wife and mother, and even tho she’s free of those expectations now, her body will always reflect that past. Isn’t that just the most literal embodiment of the fear gender dysphoria instills into you? That no matter where you are in your gender journey and how you perceive yourself everyone will just continue to perceive you the way they have in your past? Bcus damn, chilling. 

Not only that but the euphoria leading up to that scene, Gabrielle joyfully putting on men’s clothing and cutting her hair as Lestat watches her in bafflement. She tells him to not call her mother anymore, and that she rejects that role. Only to be smacked in the face by reality telling her she’s just going to look the way she always has, for eternity. AAA! It got me good.

And I think that Gabrielle’s perspective on what the vampire existence should be is very much colored by all this. Her lifestyle is so strikingly unique in comparison to all the other vampires. Gabrielle rejects society and civilization, and wants to spend her eternity away from humans and other vampires and find meaning in the wilderness. This comes from a place of already having lived a human lifetime and no longer finding interest in human relationships, but also, I believe the desire to not be Perceived. As a trans person I find the urge to go off into the woods and live like a creature oddly relatable. I think other trans and gnc ppl can relate, lol. I  desperately wanted to do this when I was a child and deeply unhappy with how I was perceived and treated as a little girl, but I’ve grown out of it now that I’m happy and confident in my gender presentation. 

Gabrielle unfortunately, may never get that. She can’t alter her appearance in anyway she finds satisfactory, and this is worsened by her community (the other vampires) who are very unhelpful when it comes to supporting how she wants to be perceived. They all just see her as Lestat’s Mom™️ despite her very vocal dislike of being seen as a maternal figure. (Then they have the audacity to bitch about how she is always absent lmao, like huh maybe she’d be more present and less cold if u mfs were more considerate 🙄)

In conclusion, Gabrielle trans masc real. I’m a lil scared about how the show will portray her bcus if they get it wrong I will be sooo disappointed. Side note it felt slightly weird referring to Gabs with she/her pronouns for this even tho those are what are used in the books, but whateves pronouns don’t = gender anyway. Leave ur Gabrielle gender and pronouns headcanons in the tags friends projection is encouraged actually.

Also thank you sm for sending this ask! And for all the asks I’ve been getting recently. I love answering asks they’re so fun

[thesherrinfordfacility]

(last anon= me, was a bit anxious it might not go over well for some reason- off now bc changing the capitalization was a pain)

i agree on the human aus! love their flexibility, the sorta "yeah, may as well happen" you get clicking on something (with love) completely ridiculous. it's also so much fun to see what people do with crowley's eyes and his relationship to the glasses.

i'm very very early in planning this, but i want a&c to be as close to theirshow characterizations as i can possibly get them (book boys are amazing but i want the drama). i don't know that i'll do a very good job at justifying it with their backstories, but i'm gonna try. (idk. people have different opinions on personality being nature vs nurture. i can claim majority nature if it's more convenient)

i'm thinking here that crowley, personally, would have had to kill somebody or a couple somebodies, in an absolute (it at least appeared so, still does), life or death, them or him scenario (only his life saved). said somebody or somebodies would have attacked first, and out of desperation-- not totally their choice either. i'm assuming for the sake of the fic that he'd be able to do it at all, and then survive a couple decades after, so there's... something.

i just can't figure out exactly how he'd have coped with it, and whether he'd, later, think of it as justified, like how much guilt there would be. don't know what's even plausible.

my biggest problem is that framing him as 100% Good and Pure (and weirdly helpless?) like ppl do sometimes is literally my biggest fear writing this (huge mischaracterization in general). i don't want to go for the exact same indifference as in the show, for reasons you mentioned (and also that level of apathy would fuck up the entire rest of the fic), but not too far in the opposite direction, either.

tysm for the first response and considering a second, this seems a whole lot more solvable- and sorry if it's a lot to ask to go over all this (although your ability to hold a shit ton of information at once and then respond eloquently is impressive asf, looking at like every chain with LWA), i just drew a bit of a blank. also my bad if it's got a little heavy for your blog, just realized looking at the tags 😭

oh @aq-uatic you silly goose!!!✨ im absolutely fine with asks like that, please feel free to sling them my way anytime!!! ultimately tho, that's what the tw was for; just in case it was a bit heavy for someone else, but for me, personally? there's not a lot of themes that i feel uncomfortable discussing, almost all topics are welcome and i'll soon say if they aren't!!!💕

ooooh okay, so a self-defence angle!!! i think that that could be interesting to explore, because - well, you could take it from the perspective that crowley is initially very righteous in defending himself, rightly thinking that he deserved to protect himself, and the use of force was proportionate. he could initially come across as quite dispassionate and apathetic about it, "me vs. them? well of course it was going to be me!", and ultimately not want to address the whole concept of having committed murder because, on face value, it was justified. and maybe he privately doesn't want to examine it bc he's apprehensive about what he'd find?

but then as plot (and character) develops, turns out that because the whole thing was so fast, fuelled by adrenaline and the instinct to survive, crowley ends up... not being able to remember much of it? and as details start to come back, i think that's where the cognitive dissonance element would play - that he then has to reconcile himself as being someone who he feels is morally sound, 'would never harm another human being', a good person... but then is starting to remember his fear in the situation, confronting his own mortality, and what it says about him to be able to take another life with little thought other than his own self-preservation? as well as remember the specific physical details of what happened? the sounds, the smells? looks in the mirror afterwards and sees a different person looking back?

obviously without knowing the full motive of the person attacking him, who they are, what their story is etc.,... i think crowley could end up dealing with it in a way that he accepts that he cannot control others' actions, only his own. that that person chose to put him in the position of having to defend himself, and whilst, yes, that person may have had a family, friends, potential... when he's in a position of ensuring his own survival, he may have actually made the best decision he could have at the time. idk if you're planning to explore the attacker's circumstances in any depth, but if - for example - they were trying to rob him out of their own desperation (e.g. homelessness/austerity, fund addiction, peer pressured/gang context, mental health), maybe crowley would deal with that by exploring charitable work, or good causes, that seek to alleviate that very desperation? and that's how he heals from the experience?

again, hoping this might be some food for thought!!!✨💕 please do link me your fic when you've posted anything, i really admire how you're exploring this concept and it sounds really interesting and promising!!! i'll reiterate that i love getting asks, especially when they explore topics like this; i feel the LWA ones are a little bit of an anomaly, for being really analysis-heavy (which i love, let me clear), but getting to be a bit creative is exciting for me too!!!✨

[mihai-florescu]

i am an extremely new fan, and i can admit that i dont know much about eichi and therefore i cant give an unbiased opinion on him at this point!!

i see your points i see all of them and. you are right. his desperation led him to do wrongs during war era, and he regrets it. i understand this completely, and i agree that he shouldnt be portayed as the only villain because of what his desperation did to him.

however, based on the stories ive read so far in !!, he is...unnecessarily cruel. i get that he'll do whatever it takes to reach his vision of the idol industry, but the way he phrases his conversations with the others does NOT paint him in a good light. this might be because the game is making him look like the bad guy though tbh. he thinks alkaloid is, quote, a box of mudballs, and says this directly to their faces. now, this might just be tough love, but..to say that to tatsumi, who just got out of the hospital? whom he bonded with over their health issues? it just feels...idk.

that might also play into your point about him not realizing that people want to be his friends, and seeing them as business partners tho!

adding onto that, idk the full story for this, but i was informed that tsumugi didnt want to be paid/contracted and like, begged him to be friends? idk about that i might be completely wrong!! it also might not be tsumugi actually i was told this a while ago

I got a bit rambly and had screenshots on hand uh. Sorry for the long reply.

In regards to Alkaloid, I must confess, I'm having a hard time going through the main story cuz I just.....find certain characters and dynamics annoying and/or they just dont interest me much. So i am probably lacking the full depth of what eichi has said to them but i do have two posts about my view on him and alkaloid together (well, more from a meta perspective i suppose). But then again, eichi has this tendency to make other characters want to hate him out of a deep rooted belief that he doesn't actually deserve love, even after his "happy ending", there will always be something bigger to achieve and more sins to atone for.

I'm not necessarily arguing he's not flawed (although i am arguing he's just human, not good or bad, or rather both, i think that's one of the core messages of enstars too.) He's too self aware and pragmatic for his own good. Even he himself says in Sanctuary that he's falling back to how he used to be in the war to reach his ideals.

.

.

(Sanctuary, translated here)

So i guess what i'm saying is not that you must forgive all his actions cuz he never did anything wrong etcetc but more my plea for people to read his stories and see why he's the way that he is. Because i just cannot stand to watch another tiktok full of misinformation. I could, and i probably have in the past, gone on a rant about how people blame eichi alone for the war completely disregarding keito and akatsuki's crucial roles in taking down kanata. Meanwhile my guy Eichi was in the hospital that whole time. But anyway, this was besides the point. Or maybe not. Moving on,

As for Tsumugi, the story you're referencing is Element. It was animated in the show as well, but i do recommend reading it. And then, connected to it, Daydream. Oh my god. Eichi's Daydream Monologue...

The thingbwith Tsumugi is that he just started believing in Eichi's ideals to the point where the war fully would not have succeeded without him. He wanted to be Eichi's friend and to bring him happiness so he joined old Fine, he just thought the contract was a formality. I'm not sure on the "begged to be friends" part, i think that phrasing is a bit extreme, but you gotta remember Eichi was generally distrustful that people like him beyond his wealth. And with a family like Tsumugi's, divorced parents, estranged brother, a mother that keeps falling prey to scams and losing their savings, Eichi thought Tsumugi's motive for wanting to get close was to obtain enough money to cut ties with his mom. Oh. Another thing, i can reblog some story screenshots afterwards, but Eichi does project a lot of his issues onto others. Not the best coping mechanism, clearly.

I do see why Eichi isn't for everyone. I would rather you read his stories and then decide you don't agree with his ways than someone liking him only for fluff (aka only the sweet scenes with wataru) and ignoring the rest of his character. Honestly my answer might make you hate him even more, but i hope out of spite you will read Ep:Link at least. Maybe Sanctuary, but definitely do Not start with that, it needs 7 years of stories as context. Black Tea, Milky Way, Jingle Bells and Tempest should also be good beginner's guide to Eichi stories at the top of my head.