#now i have my chocolate and harley has her fake chocolate

[two-calicos-in-a-trenchcoat]

Got chewby a new tug and some Christmas dog biscuits that look like donuts (we have mini donuts a lot but they usually have chocolate on them so we can't share with her so I thought it would be fun to get donuts that she CAN have)

And got harely a couple new toys. There's this springy toy that I thought she would like but it makes a squeaky sound when it moves (which I did not realize when I bought it) and shes a little afraid of it. And a rubbery ball with feathers on the ends that I didn't know if she would like but so far its her favorite. AND I found these cat treats that look and feel like chocolate that are made of beef fat and ive had to hide them from her cuz she was trying to tear open the box to get more.

[themculibrary]

Fake Relationship AUs Masterlist 3

part one, part two

#HotNASAGuy (ao3) - alphabetblues peter/harley T, 3k

Summary: Peter glanced up at him from his phone. “Harley,” He said desperately. “I need you to be my boyfriend.”

“I- what?” Harley stuttered.

“People won’t leave me alone on Twitter, Harls,” Peter pleaded. “And MJ said I need to just announce that I’m not single. So I’m just going to tell everyone that you’re my boyfriend and they’ll stop harassing me.”

“You want to tell everyone you’re my boyfriend?” Harley sputtered, sounding aghast. Peter was getting even more frustrated.

“Yes. If you have a problem, speak now. I’m cashing in on my raincheck from orientation.”

all you're giving me is fiction (ao3) - sten06 kate/yelena M, 42k

Summary: Kate is Avenger-Adjacent, already taking up the new Hawkeye mantel when Yelena tracks her down for help with a mission (not before doing COPIOUS amounts of research on her, of course). When Kate realizes its Wilson Fisk they’re going after, and his connection to her mother, she has a ridiculously wild idea for how they should go undercover — as girlfriends, naturally.

(Also: Natasha is alive and giving all the sisterly advice. She’s off-world with Captain Marvel, because I say so.)

OR

The Kate/Yelena Fake Dating AU

Are You Going to (Say Yes) (ao3) - pandaluna peter/mj G, 12k

Summary: “This is… a picture taken on the street, today. Would you care to tell us who that might be?”

It was blurry and out of focus, but Peter was recognizable in it. And his hand was holding… hers. Both of their faces were exposed in this and Michelle’s heart raced faster and fasted in her chest at the sight of the picture.

“Not that I think this is any of your business,” Peter’s voice snapped her out of her thoughts and she braced herself for the inevitable. "But that's my girlfriend."

---

Michelle does't have a soulmark of any kind - which isn't rare, but it still is upsetting. And it also means that she's available to someone like Brad, who doesn't have a soulmark, either. So she does the first thing she thinks of when bumping into someone in the street and asks them to pretend to be her boyfriend. It goes as well as she expects it to go. Until it doesn't.

A Week and Forever (ao3) - Jo (jmathieson) clint/phil T, 2k

Summary: Clint and Phil pose as a married couple for a mission.

Be Gay, Do Crimes (ao3) - cyclogenesis (addictedkitten) sam/bucky E, 12k

Summary: Bucky and Sam go on an undercover mission as husbands in Palm Springs, where they attend a Pride party, make new friends, and are not great at spying, actually.

death by chocolate (ao3) - CapnWinghead pre sam/bucky G, 3k

Summary: Low on funds and desperate to get out of the New York summer heat, Bucky drags Sam into a bakery where they pretend to be a couple tasting cakes for their upcoming wedding.

FAKE (ao3) - AlyKat, roguebowtie clint/phil M, 17k

Summary: Sometimes a mission calls for you to be as married as possible. That can be a problem when you're secretly in love with your fake spouse. And you panic. And you say things you don't mean.

From A Different Point of View (ao3) - Kavi Leighanna (kleighanna) steve/maria T, 7k

Summary: Maria is a professional. Undercover doesn't bother her.

Not even with her boss.

it's real to me (ao3) - haveufoundwhaturlookingfor sam/bucky T, 3k

Summary: Sam's parents aren't accepting of his sexuality, and he needs someone to bring to his family Christmas gathering. Bucky is a stranger who's lonely on Christmas and decides to step in and help Sam.

Just For Now (ao3) - complicationstoo steve/tony T, 34k

Summary: Tony and Steve have never gotten along, but when Tony lies to his mom about bringing his boyfriend to his cousin's wedding, he needs someone to play the part. Lucky for him, Steve agrees, and the two might just get a little more than they anticipated out of it.

rather chase the sun (ao3) - sandyk peter/mj M, 7k

Summary: MJ proposes to Peter because she really needs his dental insurance, but it doesn't take very long for their marriage to become something real that requires work to last.

Risky Engagement (ao3) - navaan natasha/tony M, 3k

Summary: Natasha needs Tony to play along to catch a bad guy’s attentions. It involves a fake engagement, way too much flirting – and more feelings than she wants to admit.

say you'll see me again (even if it's just pretend) (ao3) - starkobession steve/tony N/R, 16k

Summary: "no matter what happens," tony said very seriously, "you're not allowed to fall in love with me."

"won't be a problem."

"what?" tony put his hands on his hips. "i'm very easy to fall in love with."

"i'd never fall in love with you."

"with that attitude, i'd never fall in love with you either."

where tony and steve are in a fake relationship, despite hating each other.

Second Time Around (ao3) - ArielT, NickiB clint/phil E, 21k

Summary: A year ago, Clint and Phil went undercover as a couple to stop a human trafficking ring and finally admitted to their feelings. Nine months ago, they broke up. Now the trafficking ring is back, and Fury wants them to reprise their roles. Will the masquerade work its magic a second time?

The Boyfriend (ao3) - FestiveFerret steve/tony T, 12k

Summary: Tony has been using The Boyfriend to get out of work obligations for a year now, but there's one fairly significant problem:

The Boyfriend doesn't exist.

The Game of Love (ao3) - broodybuck steve/bucky E, 8k

Summary: Bucky must save his career with the perfect relationship. He'll have to fake it with budding artist Steve Rogers. Bucky doesn't foresee ever falling for his fake boyfriend, but Steve shows him a side of love he didn't know he could have.

The Smile In Your Eyes (ao3) - nightside_of_siberia wanda/agatha G, 9k

Summary: It's a little hard to fake date someone when there's very real emotions involved.

We're (not) all villains here (ao3) - sir_not_appearing_in_this_archive loki/mobius, loki/sylvie, loki/mobius/sylvie, sylvie/darcy T, 53k

Summary: Alone and friendless (once again), Loki has to find a way to set things right, or at least right enough he can comfortably sneak off into the sunset, which starts with one thing: saving Mobius's lost memories.

or: the fake-dating rom-com no one asked for

you can sing me anything (ao3) - CrimsonPetrichor sam/bucky G, 4k

Summary: In this particular circumstance, Bucky spent Thanksgiving pretending to be a terrible boyfriend to the man he’s had a mildly embarrassing crush on for months. Somehow, that was enough to have escalated their antagonistic acquaintanceship into the kind of friendship where they text each other nearly every day and Bucky gets a little giddy over every message they exchange.

In this particular circumstance, Bucky’s mouth is ready with an answer before his brain has time to react.

“Sam,” he finds himself saying. “My boyfriend’s name is Sam.”

--

In which Bucky asks Sam to be his fake boyfriend. Kind of.

you ought to give me wedding rings (ao3) - Sholio bucky/zemo E, 12k

Summary: A SHIELD mission sends Bucky, Zemo, and Sam undercover in the suburbs.

[sayuricorner]

ML x Batman: Arkham’s princess AU headcanons part 3

Part 2        Part 4

Welcome to the part 3 of my Arkham’s princess AU headcanons! :)

This part will focus Bridgette Cheng! Hope you will like it! ^^

Warning: English is not my first language so sorry if it’s confusing.

Warning 2: This AU content salt don’t like don’t read!

-Since in this AU Bridgette is Sabine’s sister she got grey eyes instead of blue.   

-So in this AU Bridgette Cheng is Marinette’s aunt, she is Arkham’s warden and changed the Asylum’s method which lead to actual good progress with the patients.

-When she become the Asylum’s new warden, she completly changed the staff: she replaced all the doctors, nurses and guards who were abusing of the patients or were complicit in the abuse and put special protocols in job interviews which cinsist to make the applicants pass a psychological exam to be sure they are psychologically capable to work at Arkham.

-She changed the therapies methods for more ethical ones.

-One of the things she consider the most important in therapy is doctor/patient trust so one of the steps of her treatement is to begening by etablish a trust bond with the patients so they will be more cooperative in the treatement.

-She put a “neutral” rule in which the doctors and others members of the staff must had a neutral behavior toward the patients since reactions and behaviors showing to the patients that they had a sort of power on others only feed their crazyness.

-With this “neutral rule” she put instructions like “not calling the patients by their villains name unless their insist”.

-She also made sure to make the patients’s life conditions better.

-All those changes bring the patients to developpe a kind of respect for Bridgette after months of suspicions toward her and trying to mess with her.

-The Rogues in this AU, except for some like Killer Croc, are the “batman the animated serie” version.

-She even gain more respect from them when one day she was forced to use her self defense skills against Lyle Bolton when he was attacking other inmates and had even trying to hurt her but Bridgette was able to owerpower him.

-She become know amount the inmates as the “White Queen of Arkham”. (see headcanons part 2)

-During her first times as the new Arkham’s warden, the public opinion was rather sceptic toward Bridgette’s abilities to manage the asylum, the media even potray her as a future “Harley Quinn 2.0″.

-She didn’t mind and focus on Arkham.

-Some times later her new methods bring good results, some inmates were healed and even some Rogues become saner.

-With those results the public opinion about Bridgette changed, seeing her now as a benediction for Gotham.

-Batman and her have mutual respect for each other: Bridgette is grateful for what the caped crusader do for the town and Batman respect her for actually helping the inmates from the asylum to heal.

-Regarding shipping: I have three possible love interest for Bridgette who are Rogues but you can decide to ship her with another character or not ship her at all. If the love interest is a rogue they will get together only if the rogue is mentally healed and give up any criminal activity, Bridgette will not even consider the possibility of a relationship when the rogue is still a criminal and her patient.

-When she visited Paris for the first time with Sabine she tried the soulmate ice cream from Andre Glacier, you can decide the combination you want if you ship Bridgette but for my three possible her ice cream combinasion goes by:

1)blueberry(his eyes)-vanilla bean(his hair)-earl grey tea(his favorite taste)

Or

2)Milk chocolate(his hair)-dark chocolate(his eyes)-pumpkin spice(his theme)

Or

3)Mint chocolate(his attire)-orange(his hair)-green apple(his eyes)

-If Bridgette got a love interest and they get together the love interest’s ice cream will be blackberry/blueberry(her hair)-licorice(her eyes)-coconut(her attire)

-Bridgette is rather protective toward Marinette so when Sabine and Tom will explain the situation she will accept right away to had Marinette living with her in Gotham while Marinette’s parents try to see what to do about the school.

-When Harley and Ivy warn her, when they were still in Arkham before they escape, that they will “kidnap” sometimes Marinette to give her tutoring lessons with the others Rogues/Godparents Bridgette was not sure about this, sure, they are Marinette’s godparents and would not harm her but they’re still mentally instable criminals and was more reassured when learning that Batman and his birds were welcomed to keep an eye on the lessons.

-When Marinette became closer with the Waynes and that it’s become know on the social medias, Lila being jalous told another lie to her classmates in fake tears how one of the Wayne boys was supposed to be her fiancé and that Marinette stole him from her, which made Alya enraged and posted an article on the Ladyblog in which she call Marinette a lot of horrible names and accuse her of many things.

-But the article got a big backclash since, surprise surprise, Alya has not proof for her claims and somebody send the article to the Waynes.

-When Marinette, the Wayne and Bridgette saw the article they were not happy at all and for a furious Bridgette it was the last straw, she contacted Marinette’s parents and they agree to sue the school, Lila and Alya, yeah the latters are both teens but being young doesn’t excuse you having a criminal behavior.

-They made sure that the Rogues don’t see the article because otherwise there’s going to had murders and as angry they are they want to avoid that.

-Bruce Wayne agree with the three other adults to pay for them a good lawyerand Bridgette, after leaving Marinette with Wayne, take the first plane for Paris to make official the procesussion with Sabine and Tom.

-The three adults go to the school to had a meeting with Damocles and Bustier, during the meeting the two teachers tried to spill BS excuses to not be, and to not have Lila and Alya, in trouble which make Bridgette very angry to the point of attracting an akuma.

-Hawkmoth tried to akumatised Bridgette but she told him in a cold angry voice that if she become a akume he will be the one she will track down.

-”Red Queen? I am Hawkmoth and I-” “Listen to me very well you Killer Moth wannabe I’m may be very angry at those idiots in the moment but you trying to use my niece stuggles to try to akumatise her multiple times make me even more pissed off at you so this is how it will goes: you will stop trying to akumatise me right now! or else the one who I will track down, chasing for their miraculous and who will be off with their head aren’t going to be Ladybug and Chat Noire but you!”.

-Not wanting to take any chance Hawkmoth undo the akumatisation leaving a rather tired Bridgette.

-Damocles tried to use Bridgette’s nearly akumatisation to end the meeting but she, Sabine and Tom were having none of it and since that meeting was getting them nowhere they deliver the procecussion papers to officialy sue them before leaving the school.

-After the meeting the three adults got to Lila’s and Alya’s houses to give to their shocked parents the paper anouncing that the girls were sued before going back to the bakery. And the next day Bridgette go back to Gotham to her niece.

TAG LIST :( a reblog will get you a place in the tag list! ^^)

@maribat-is-lifeblood

@moonystars14

@Dragon-of-leaving

[aliasimagines]

oh we are so screwed // jason todd

requested by @im-hqlover

Jason takes the reader on a night date (he was like a robin), while the reader thinks her family is asleep, she accepts the date, but when she returns her family was horrified to not know where the reader was, what should the reader do now??

word count: 1060

a/n: i'm sorry, i swear i'm working on your requests, i just wasn't at my best latley and i kinda lack inspiration but i am doing them!

Clinging onto Jason you bite back a scream as he uses his (batman's) grapple gun to fly from your bedroom window to a building's roof. The hood of your hoodie fall off due to the wind and made your hair go everywhere. He repeated his stunt with the grapple gun a few times, enough for you to be more comfortable and open your eyes just a little bit.

The streets might be overflown with criminals and crime bosses, perhaps somewhere not far Harley Quinn was walking her highly dangerous hyenas and sure as hell a bank robbery was happening somewhere at the moment but looking around made you forget all that. The city lights were like electric stars lighting up a big balck canvas, a work in progress, a painting called Gotham. These moments actually made you believe that one they this hell of a city can be normal.

The cold wind made feel awake, alive. You felt free, like you can actually fly. And you wanted to fly, fly away with Jason into the night but to your disappointment he stopped at one rooftop.

Your disappointment didn't last long thought. Because in front of you there was a whole picnic set out with pillows, blankets, candles, everything. You, still gasping, turned to see Jason touching the right side of his mask over and over again.

"They're are fake candles...sorry. It's a windy night."

You didn't even wait a second, you just straight up jumped back into his arms. You hugged him as close as his suit let you and pulled away with a smile.

"Jay you made all of this?? You're amazing!"

Jason chuckled and pulled you back in for another hug before he led you to a pillow where you could sit. He sat halfway next and opposite of you. He slapped his hand on the basket full of food.

"Are you hungry love?"

"Sure." you said. Jay started to unpack all the delicious food he brought for the two of you.

"Hey babe, while I set this up would you put on some music?"

You noded and reached into your hoodie's pocket only to find nothing in it.

"Heck! My phone! It's not here."you cursed.

"Shit, is it possible that it dropped out on the way here? " Jason immediately put down the bottle of (favorite drink) that he was holding. You ran your fingers through your hair frustrated.

"I don't know... I really hope not. Oh... Wait. I remember. I plugged it in to charge before you came for me and I forgot to grab it."

"Well at least we know where it is. Here, take my phone."

"You're music gallery is just emo bands and musicals."

"And? I don't see your point?" he lifted an eyebrow at you before turning back to prepare the picnic. You chuckled and put on some music that you know Jason loves but not so much that he would break into a concert at the top of this huge buildings roof. So obviously no songs from musicals for him now. You put down his phone and he offered you a glass of your favourite drink. You thanked him and blew him a kiss before taking a sip.

"So m'lady, do you want sandwiches or cookies first?"

"Depends. What kind of cookies?"

"Chocolate chip. Now I don't wanna brag but I made them and they smell delicious."

He looked so proud of his cookies so you choose those. He hande you to little box container thingy and you took the cookie on top. While the two of you ate and drink, you also started to talk.

With the the music playing softly in the background and Jason talking. You felt so relaxed and safe. You really loved his voice, it was so soft and gentle as he quietly explained something. To be honest you didn't pay attention to what he was actually saying but rather just his calming voice. You couldn't even tell how much time has passed.

"..don't you think?"

You suddenly snapped out of daydreaming and looked at Jason.

"Uhm, sorry. I zoomed out."

He slightly shook his head and laughed.

"I said it's getting late and we should get going, don't you think?"

You looked over to Jay's phone and it showed 2:32. Crap! You have been here for over 3 and half hours and you have school tomorrow!

"Jeez, you're right!"

You helped Jason pack things away. And before he took you back to your room you kissed his cheek.

"Thank you Jay. This was a lovely date. And your cookies were amazing."

He smiled at you sweetly.

"I'm glad  you liked it doll. Now hold on."

He took you back and helped you climb in to your room through your window. Jason leaned inside for a goodnight kiss when suddenly your room overflow with light. Not only that but your mother stood in the doorway.

"Y/N?? Where have you been? And... Oh god is that Robin?"

You looked back and forth between your mom and Jason with wide eyes. Well this is not how you planned for your family to meet Jason... Poor boy looked paler than ever.

"I.. Uhm.. Mom.."

"I was worried sick! You just... Disappeared! Your father is down at the police station. We thought you were kidnapped! Wait... Were you kidnapped?" she only stops to look at you and your boyfriend with worry. You shook your head. Gosh you feel so damn guilty!

"I am so sorry ma'am. It's all my fault. It was my idea to sneak her out and go on a..date.. " Jason spoke up surprising both you and your mother.

"No, it is my fault too and I'm-"

"Wait a minute darling. On a date? Aren't you dating a boy named Jason?"

You pressed your lips together into a tin line. Jason bit his lip uncomfortably.

"Well I.."

Your mother waved her hand.

"Sush, I understand. Please get inside don't just hang there with your legs outside someone's gonna think you wanna break in. I'll go call your father Y/N and when I come back I want to talk to the two of you." with that she exits your room.

"Oh god... I'm screwed." you sigh as you sit down on your bed.

"You and me both, baby." Jason responds getting rid of his cape."You and me both"

[twokinkybeans]

The Arachnoids: ROCK BAND AU [Starker] - Chapter 2: ROADIE RUSH

READ “CHAPTER 2 ROADIE RUSH” ON AO3

Other Chapters: Prologue Chapter 1: Soundcheck Setback (To Be Continued)

Taglist: @crystallinecrimsonmoth​ & @staticwhispersinthedark​

Notes: HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE!!!!! <3 - Kim

Find the fic’s masterpost here!

-

Chapter 2: Roadie Rush

Peter sips from his hot cocoa and sighs happily. It’s so good. With sweet, maple-syrup-covered whipped cream on top of the warm and tasty liquid. He knows he might get a bad case of sugar-rush after this, but god, it tastes too good. He’s glad that there’d been enough time to perform their own soundcheck after all. When The Avengers were done, Tony had disappeared as suddenly as he’d arrived. It still gnaws at Peter. Something… Something about all of it doesn’t seem right. It’s off-ish. As if some of the pieces don’t quite fit the bigger picture. Yet. Of course, even if something is wrong, it doesn’t give the rock star an excuse to be such a pain in the ass to everyone around him.

“I know...” MJ starts and her brows furrow together worriedly, “-that I don’t say this often. But jeez, I’m such a nervous wreck right now.” “Not just you,” Ned adds with a sigh. “My hands are sweating so badly I might lose my sticks one minute into the show.” He chuckles to himself. “Imagine - one of ‘em catapulting right at Stark’s face.” “Ha! Will do him good,” MJ says with a grin. She sits upright and shakes her head. “The man’s an ass. But I won’t let him sour my mood.” “Exactly,” Ned agrees. “Everyone else seems nice. Peter, don’t you think Harley’s nice?”

Peter blushes a bright red and he instantly shakes his head. Of course, he hadn’t missed Harley’s charming smile. Or his nice, lean body. Or- “Just ‘cause I’m gay doesn’t mean I want to date just any dude I meet.” “But, Harley’s nice tho. You know I don’t tend to like folks easily, but Harley sure hits the right vibe.” “Ugh,” Peter groans, but he can’t help the smile on his lips. “Alright, alright, he seems okay enough.” “Just okay?” MJ exclaims and lets herself drop on the couch. She cranes her neck so she can look at him again. “Just you wait- Peter Parker. Just you wait.”

Peter cocks an eyebrow, but doesn’t comment on it. Instead, he sips on his drink again, enjoying the chocolate taste staining on his tongue. Sure thing, Harley does seem nice. Peter has to admit he’d been too preoccupied with Tony Stark to actually notice the roadie. Actually notice him.

And let’s be real, it’s not like Peter will ever see him again after this.

-

An hour later, they’re all getting ready for the show. They’re squeezed together in the little trailer bathroom- Peter smudges the black eyeliner under his eyes, while Ned brushes his teeth and MJ applies silver beads onto her cheekbones. Slowly, she’s turning into Venus; her stage persona. A small reference to the planet where actual arachnoids are found.  “Pete- Can you draw the spider web on my face?” Ned asks and hands him the small bottle of liquid eyeliner. Peter nods and mumbles a quick ‘sorry’ as he switches places with MJ. He grabs the bottle. “Turn your head,” he instructs and Ned obliges. Peter sticks his tongue out when he concentrates on drawing the lines. First, a few straight lines that cross, then the small bendy lines to make it look like an actual web. When he’s finished, he gives the eyeliner back to Ned and grins. “Go ahead. It’s my tu-”

There’s a soft knock on the trailer door and Peter frowns. “I’ll get it!” MJ rushes and struggles her way out of the bathroom. “-Oh, hey! Harley. Come in!” Peter doesn’t miss the smug expression on Ned’s face. “Nice.” Ned mouths and Peter groans exasperated.  “Nope. Nope. Ned! It’s not happening!” Peter shakes his head at the small eyebrow wiggle his friend sends him.

“Hey boys!” Harley peeks into the bathroom from behind the corner and he smiles broadly. “You ready for the show?” “Almost,” MJ laughs. “The boys always take their time transforming into lil’ spiders.” “It looks great,” Harley says with a wink, and Peter - thanks to all the comments from his bandmates - blushes. “But,” the roadie continues, “-Tony requested extra time to change the stage settings in between sets. The Avengers have to end at midnight, so we have to bring your set forward. Do you think you can be backstage in five?” 

Peter frowns. Again, Tony Stark is the center of the conversation and he doesn’t like it. He nods at Harley, though. “Yeah, we’re nearly done here.”  “Good. I’m sorry for not informing you earlier but we just came to this decision like, a minute ago.” “It’s alright.” MJ grabs her silver strapped heels. “Isn’t it, uhm, a runner’s job to, well, run everything? You’re kinda doing everything today?” She asks curiously. Peter hadn’t even noticed and he looks at Harley. The boy shrugs. “Usually, yeah. But no one wants to work for the Big Boss anymore. So I’m an upgraded allround roadie I guess- doing all the tasks I’m not supposed to do,” he jokes. Peter can tell Harley feels bitter about it, so he decides not to dig deeper.

“We’ll be there,” Peter smiles. “And if we can help you after we play our set, please let us know.” “That’s very kind of you, thanks, dude. I think I got it, but I’ll keep it in mind.” Harley cocks his head and gives Peter a playful bump against his shoulder. “See ya in five, then!” And with that, Harley’s gone again.

Peter can’t quite describe what he’s feeling right now. Tonight’s a huge night for them. The biggest show they’ve ever played, by far. Peter doesn’t feel as excited anymore, though. He hates it. He should be worried about slippery hands, or a string breaking, or stumbling over his feet… Not about how the blond roadie will manage his job tonight. 

-

It isn’t until Peter grabs his midnight blue guitar and tightens the strap, that he realizes Ned never got to draw the spider web on his face. Ah well, no one will notice. He hopes. He stares at Harley, the boy running around and hastily making sure that everything works properly. Not even a second later, Harley runs towards them and bounces on the balls of his feet with excitement. “We’re ready, everything’s set up! Once you’re good to go on, the stage is yours.” Harley bites down his lip and smiles at MJ so intently that Peter has to hold himself back from nudging Ned. “After you, Venus.”

MJ’s eyes widen slightly, clearly taken aback by the charming smile and the sweet tone in Harley’s voice. Her lips curl into a smirk though, and she cocks her head to smile back at him. “Ready for take-off?” “Always.” MJ’s eyes sparkle in the dimmed backstage lights and she shakes her head slightly. Harley chuckles, low in his throat, and waves in the direction of the stage. MJ nods firmly and eyes both Ned and Peter. No other words are needed from there. Peter grabs the fretboard tightly and takes a deep breath. Ned twirls the drumsticks between his fingers and huffs, only now realizing what they’re about to do. 

Faking confidence, the young band walks into the stage lights. The audience cheers and Peter gasps when he sees just how immensely huge the open-air area looks from up here. It’s… Almost unbelievable. Almost.

“Welcome…” MJ whispers into her microphone once the cheers of the audience die down. She grins. The small silver gems stuck underneath her eyes glimmer in the stage lights. “We are the inner concentric, the outer radial lineament, the spider-like volcano-tectonic structures from Venus. We have come to Earth to give you a hint of the whirling desire that is found on our planet. We are… The Arachnoids!”

Peter’s lips curl into a passionate smile as his grip tightens around the fretboard of his guitar. MJ’s voice starts out soft. So soft, it’s barely audible. Ned lets his drumsticks rain down on his ride cymbal to create a space-like sound; as if stars come raining down from the vastness of space. MJ’s voice goes stronger, jumping up two octaves only to break into a sweet, captivating melody. The audience doesn’t make a single sound. And then, after a small pause in the song that doesn’t even last a second, Peter’s fingers naturally find their way onto the strings and he strums fast. Ned goes wild on the drums and MJ howls into her mic. The crowd goes absolutely nuts and Peter has to take a deep breath to control his emotions. They like him! They like their band!

“Yes, New York!!” MJ screams during the small instrumental part. She’s bouncing on the stage, dancing and laughing and her enthusiasm sends Peter into a buzzy haze. “Who’s ready to party on New Year’s Eve?!”

-

Next Chapter 3: World Tour Wishes >>

[nadjadoll]

mega get to know me tag game

I’ve been tagged a bunch of times (mostly by @brucewyane thank you lovely I see and appreciate all the tags!) but also by @chuckhansen @honesthearts @faithchel @bivillains @newgenesis and @noonvvraith, thank you all!

Since I was tagged in so many different about me things I took the liberty of merging some of them especially duplicate questions~

I won’t tag anyone because this is a weird amalgamation of many different tag games...

time: 9:47 am name/nickname: just shiawna, no nicknames at least none i want to mention here afjslks named after anyone?: nope! my dad made my name up birthday: august 14th 1998 gender/pronouns: female, she/her zodiac: leo height: 5′2 eye color: hazel on the side of green nationality: american :/ currently wearing: black turtleneck like a slut, the jeans i wear everyday, yellow socks and my bop harley fuzzy creature slippers song stuck in my head: la vie en rose - edith piaf average hours of sleep: 6-7 special talents?: i can write moderately well i think hobbies?: writing, watching too much tv, daydreaming about fictional characters and loving my oc’s pets?: two cats, gimli and clara! craving: burgers first thing i notice about people: eyes or smile, everyone has such different unique eyes i love it

when did i create this blog: summer two years ago when i needed somewhere to express my love for far cry 5 what do i post: nowadays i mostly post dc, some oc stuff and generally whatever i’m into at the moment, rn it’s the mandalorian last thing googled: “the last of us troy baker” other blogs: i used to have like 3 sideblogs but i couldn’t handle it haha so now i just have this one do i get asks: i do from time to time! i just take waaaay too long to answer them hence why this one is so long asdfhjdsl why i chose my url: i have too much love for harley followers: too many that’s for sure

favorites colors: orange, yellow, pink, blue, red, black bands: first aid kit, saint motel, unloved, roza,  the limiñanas, mother mother, bear’s den   solo artists: zella day, jacqueline taieb, billie eilish, kaleo   songs: cowboy like me - taylor swift, roller girl - anna karina, black madonna - cage the elephant, benny goodman- saint motel, bang bang - nancy sinatra author: honestly couldn’t name any authors right now animal noises: cat chirps when they see a bird or something ice cream: chocolate chip cookie dough

last time i cried: last night out of stress last book: this is so bad but i cannot remember alfdsjsl last movie:  last song: broken parable - bear’s den last show: game of thrones dream job: can i just say nothing? i don’t dream of working dream trip: all around europe. particularly england, ireland, france, the netherlands and italy lucky number: don’t think i have one! instruments: i used to know how to play piano in middle school but i quit because it was too stressful for me to keep up with piano homework and school homework, i regret that now though top three fictional universes i'd like to live in: first thing that came to mind was the ghibli-verse, everything is beautiful and mystical and the food always looks amazing what more could you want. harry potter would be cool too because magic, i was thinking about that a while ago and if i were in the harry potter universe i would absolutely want to work with magical creatures. and for number 3 i think would be the dc universe, it sounds awful in theory but like i want super powers and to hang out with the heroes and stuff so i’ll take it have any kids?: heavens no, don’t think i’ll make it long enough to have em use sarcasm a lot?: i do when i’m like talking to myself akhfjhs i try not to around people i don’t know well though because i don’t want to weird them out or make them uncomfortable scary movies or happy endings: happy endings all the way, my life is basically a scary movie so enough of that thanks play any sports?: never and i ain’t about to start anytime soon coffee or tea: coffee but i guess it does depend on the type of tea, if it’s raspberry hibiscus sign me the heck up random: i wish i could get back the feeling of intense joy i had watching the mandalorian for the first time, i was on an all time high and i miss it, nothing could touch me i watched it like 6 times over and over again after i finished it aesthetic: pink and red heart patterns, bright colorful converse with an all black outfit, anything sparkly, plants everywhere, too much blush on, fake freckles, soft curly hair, a layer of cat fur on every piece of clothing, iced coffees all day long, loud music on late at night, pink pink pink, dark circles under eyes, candles on every surface, a million different kinds of pens, stacks of notebooks everywhere all unused, either pink/blue or red/black a la harley quinn

10 songs i’ve been listening to lately:

one way or another - blondie

why do you love me - charlotte lawrence

all of the spirited away soundtrack

crazy train - zella day

long story short - taylor swift

mindplay - roza

magdalene - bear’s den

el paso - marty robbins

bonnie and clyde - brigitte bardot, serge gainsbourg

votre coté yéyé m'emmerde - the limiñanas

my url in song titles: Happiness - taylor swift Alcatraz - oliver riot  Rebel heart - first aid kit Lonely gun - cyn Elenore - the turtles Easy livin’ - uriah heep No time to die - billie eilish Queen bitch - david bowie Ultraviolence - lana del rey I could tell you but i’d have to kill you - unloved Na na na (na na na na na na na na na) See me fly - roza Everybody knows - leonard cohen Leave me alone - idkhow

[fanficsaremylifeline]

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Harley Keener/Peter Parker, Harley Keener & Peter Parker & Tony Stark, Peter Parker & Morgan Stark (Marvel Cinematic Universe), Ned Leeds & Peter Parker Characters: Peter Parker, Harley Keener, May Parker (Spider-Man), Happy Hogan, Morgan Stark (Marvel Cinematic Universe), Tony Stark, Pepper Potts, James "Bucky" Barnes, Steve Rogers, Natasha Romanov (Marvel), Clint Barton, Wanda Maximoff, Ned Leeds, J. Jonah Jameson Summary:

Things really couldn't be better: Harley, who Peter met at MIT, was finally his boyfriend and, just like Peter, he also got a place for his practical semester in NYC. Things are a little weird, when that place just happens to be at SI as well, because apparently Harley and Tony are similarly close as Peter is with his Irondad. To keep things from getting too mixed up, they decide to keep their relationship to themselves. After all, what could possibly go wrong?

***

“Come on Pete, get up!”, Harley called and almost immediately a pillow hit Peter in the head.

“I'm up”, he groaned, but before he could open his eyes, another pillow hit him right in the face. “What the fuck, dude?”

“Good, you're awake”, Harley grinned, that damn shit-eating grin. “Come on, get dressed I'd like to get going.”

“What's your rush?” Begrudgingly, Peter rolled over, just enough so his feet would dangle out of the bed. “We're on holiday, you... you...” Damnit, Peter couldn't even think of an insult.

“Wow, your intelligence is really sexy”, Harley deadpanned and, with the shake of his head he tossed a bundle of clothes on the bed. “You're not getting into my car naked”, he made clear.

“You wish, Keener”, he grinned back, before he got himself dressed.

The last few weeks have been pretty fun. Peter had seen Harley in a few lectures; with them both majoring in engineering, it was natural that they had to sit through a few of the same profs. It wasn't until a house party that they properly met, though. Even though he did not want to go, Ned somehow convinced Peter to come along. College parties were however quite annoying, since Peter couldn't get drunk. Thank you, spider-metabolism... So, as usually when Ned dragged him somewhere people were drinking, Peter ended up on the couch in the corner, earplugs in so the noise and music wouldn't hurt his brain too much, all that with his homework.

“You're seriously doing homework? At a party?”

Peter looked up to find Harley standing in front of him.

“Didn't want to come in the first place if I'm being honest”, he just shrugged and, as Harley sat himself down besides Peter it seemed as if their conversation was gonna be a little more than just small talk, so he closed his book.

“Anyway I can lighten up your night then?”, he grinned over and Peter couldn't help the flush and the awkward smile spreading over his face.

“I think it already has.”

Oh fuck, that was cheesy. Thankfully, Harley didn't seem to think so, as his cheeks blushed ever so slightly.

Shit, was Peter supposed to continue flirting with that quite gorgeous guy? As good as he might be at saving the world or engineering, he was downright horrible at flirting. But, thanks to his lucky star or guardian angel, Peter didn't have to.

“It's not really my thing, either. But there's this really nice bar just around the corner.”

That was Peter being asked out, right? “Sounds good”, he grinned.

“Great”, Harley smiled back and got up. “Come on, then. My treat.”

And ever since then they were... Peter wasn't sure. Yes, they went out a lot, but Peter wasn't certain if it were actually dates. They haven't had the talk yet, so for now Peter was gonna go with the step between friends with benefits and actual boyfriends. They probably should talk about it...

“Come on, you can have breakfast in the car, traffic's gonna be a bitch and I would like to reach New York today.”

“Yes sir”, Peter grumbled and pulled his shirt over his head.

“That you could have left off”, Harley smirked.

“Tough”, Peter shot back and grabbed his bag. “We going or what?”

Not that Peter or Harley knew too much about the other, but Peter had found out that Harley moved to New York. Which was pretty nice. It meant on the one hand that Peter had a a lift back home. But what was even better, was that they both had an internship for their practical semester there. Apparently, Harley's boss was an old friend who had offered him a job. Great for Harley and great for Peter, giving him more than enough chances to hang out. Or were they more than that? They had barely left Massachusetts, when Peter couldn't hold the curiosity in any longer.

“Are we dating?”, he blurted out, turning to Harley with wide eyes.

“Uhm, I think so”, he answered. “Are we?”

“I mean...” By now Peter was blushing redder than his spider-suit. “I kinda hope so”, he eventually got out and couldn't help the awkward grin.

“Well, Peter, I gotta say, your timing is horrible.”

“What? Why?” Damnit, Peter thought Harley felt the same way!

“Because I would have liked to seal you officially being my boyfriend by kissing you which is a little hard to do, while we're on the fucking highway and I have to focus on the road.”

“Awww!”, Peter squealed and leaned over just enough to put a peck on Harley's cheek. “You think that's enough for now?”

“For now”, Harley smiled. “I still might pull over at the next motorway station, just to make sure...”

.

“My house is that one over there”, Peter gestured at the Parker's apartment building.

“Right then.” As they came to a hold in front of the door, Harley smiled over.

“Thank you so very much for the lift.”

“Anything for my boyfriend”, Harley beamed.

“I kinda feel compelled to ask you to come upstairs with me, join me for a cup of coffee. It would include meeting my aunt, though.”

“Next time, ok?”

“Sure thing.” Peter was honestly a little glad. Aunt May will like Harley, there was not a doubt in his mind, but Aunt May wasn't the only one Harley had to meet. How in the hell was Peter gonna break him being family with the Starks and the Avengers? Hell, how is Peter going to break to Harley, his boyfriend, that he's Spider-Man? “It's not like we need to hurry, is it? We've got our entire semester here in NY together, there's no need to rush into anything.”

“Yeah”, Harley smiled, and what a beautiful smile that was. “Oh hey, since I'm pretty new in town, you perhaps know any nice places this city has to offer?” And like that, the sweet, beautiful smile turned into a flirty grin.

“Depends, what'd you want to do?”

“Well you know, there's this guy... We've been going out for a while, but now we made it official and a native New Yorker like you might have an idea where I could take him.”

“Oh really?”, Peter grinned back, “well he surely is a lucky guy.”

“Tell me about it, he really hit the jackpot.” And there was that damn shit-eating grin again.

Well, there was only one way to get rid of it. Peter cupped Harley's face and pulled him in for a kiss. A fantastic, time-stopping, world-ending, hair-raising kiss.

“Message me when you got to your place, ok?”, Peter mumbled.

“Promise”, he nodded and, after one, maybe two (ok, four) more pecks, Peter got out and waved after the car, until it disappeared in traffic.

That was his boyfriend. HIS BOYFRIEND! Peter skipped up the stairs and almost ripped their apartment door out of its hinges in excitement.

“Pete, honey!” May gracefully played over the almost needed reparations and welcomed him with open arms and Peter flung himself right into his aunt's embrace, thusly starting quite the amalgamation of I-love-yous, I-missed-you, I-missed-you-more, and oh so many hugs. All that only ended, when a harrumph interrupted them.

“Happy”, Peter grinned, when he identified the voice behind him and turned to hug him right away.

“Pete, it's great to see you”, he laughed. “Had a good drive?”

“Oh, yes”, Peter nodded, trying his hardest not to grin like the love-sick idiot he was. It as the absolutely perfect drive, and damn, he was so smitten and infatuated, he just wanted to call Harley right away, even if he only had seen him like ten minutes ago.

“Seems like it. I'm really happy your friend could give you a lift”, May smiled. “Didn't he want to come upstairs?”

“He still has a bit to drive. Don't worry, you'll meet him soon enough.” Mostly, because I can't wait to see him again...

“Right. Before you tell us some more, you might want to call Tony”, Happy suggested. “He's still a little pissed he didn't get to pick you up.”

“Well, I won't want to let him wait then”, Peter grinned and made for the privacy of his room, before opening up facetime and calling his favourite Stark.

“PETEY!”, Morgan squealed as she answered his call. “Are you in New York again?”

“Hi Mo”, he beamed back, “yeah, I just arrived and wanted to check in with my favourite Avenger.”

“But Daddy says I can't be an Avenger”, she moped.

“We just don't tell Dad.”

“What won't you tell Dad?” Tony's voice came from the off somewhere. Leaving Morgan no chance to explain and talk her and Peter's way out of it, he continued right away: “would you please tell Mr Parker that if he doesn't even bother to call his boss, he can kiss his internship goodbye.”

“You got that?”, she asked, her eyebrow raised in all the Stark-fashion.

“Yeah”, he snorted, “please tell Mr Stark that I love him too, but if he's that difficult before I've even started, I might just call up Reed Richards. Or maybe I'll just send an application to... OsCorp”, he added with a chirp.

“Oh, you little sh...” Tony jumped in front of the camera, ready to disinherit and cuss Peter out, when he remembered his daughter next to him. “You are a horrible person.”

“Mo, didn't he get his hot chocolate today?”, Peter asked her, completely ignoring the fake-angry Ironman. “You know that he gets cranky when he doesn't get his hot choc.”

“I'm not responsible for him”, Morgan made clear.

“We both know he can't look after himself”, Peter sighed. “Don't worry, darling, I'm back for the next half year, so you're not alone with him any more.”

“Thank you, you're the best!”

“You know I can hear you”, Tony deadpanned, looking from one to the other.

“Good, so you remembered your aids”, Peter snorted, before he could stop himself.

Morgan burst out laughing and Tony's face just dropped.

“Right then, sweetie, I think I'd better go”, Peter gulped. “So Mr Stark, let me just say beforehand that I am so honoured that you accepted my application and I cannot wait to start my internship in two weeks. Mo, our plans for tomorrow are still on?”

“Sure are”, she giggled, while Tony was still caught in his dumbfounded shock. “Can't wait!”

“Me neither. Alright, get our old man to bed, alright?”

“See you tomorrow! Love you!” With that she shot some kissy-faces towards the camera, and Peter parroted.

“Love you, too.”

And, before Tony could react, Peter waved and hung up on the call.

.

Tony: You're a little shit, Parker.

Peter: Yeah...

Tony: At least you know...

Tony: Glad to have you back in reach though. See you tomorrow?

Peter: I'll come over after breakfast

Tony: Good. I love you, kiddo

Peter: I love you, too <3

.

Harley: Hey Peter :) So, driving through New York is a nightmare!!! I'm finally at my place, though and everything's alright :)

Peter: then I'm happy :D

Harley: things at home good?

Peter: yeah, my aunt's happy to have me home again and I am, too

Peter: how're things at your new place?

Harley: it's all good

Harley: my friend's a bit overeager, there was probably no need for me to pack anything...

Peter: so you rushing me out of bed this morning... that WASN'T overeager?

Harley: That was a 4/10

Peter: 4? Dude, what's your scale like?

Harley: dude? That how you talk to your boyfriend?

Peter: yeah ;)

Peter: Dude, but like romantically :)

Harley: aww! * heart eyes *

*

What a lovely day for a swing towards the compound. The sun was shining, the March air was cool, but thankfully, there was this nice heater installed.

Since the door was for losers, Peter happily scaled the compound's wall and, instead of climbing onto the balcony and make at least a bit of a proper entrance, he knocked on Morgan's window.

“HIIII!”, she squealed as she let him inside. Peter had barely made it in, when she already tackle-hugged him, all but pushing Peter back out of the window.

“Hey Mo”, he laughed, once he found his balance. “I missed you so much.” He leaned down, just enough to put a kiss on her head.

“I missed you more. Come on, Daddy will be really happy to see you!” She grabbed Peter's hand and pulled him out into the living room. “DAAAAADDYYYY!” Wow. That cry could wake the dead.

“Honey, what have we said about the indoor voi... Oh, would you look at that.” Tony walked up to them and, as soon as he saw Peter, he stopped in his movements, crossed his arms in front of his chest. All that of course with the signature raised eyebrow.

“Good morning, sir”, Peter smiled, trying his all to sound nice and proper. “There is no need to worry, there was only a masked man climbing into your eight-year-old daughter's bedroom.”

“Peter. Stop creeping me out and get over here.” Tony rolled his eyes and held his arms out. Letting go of Morgan's hand, Peter was in his arms in two big strides. “Missed you, kiddo.”

“I better enjoy it as long as that feeling lasts, because that might sound a little differently in like four months.”

“I don't think it'll take that long”, Tony scoffed and put his arm around Peter, giving Morgan another free arm to hold on to.

“Daddy's only kidding”, Morgan made clear as she looked up with big eyes. “We'll never ever get tired of you.”

“Aww!” Peter had known it as soon as he met her, but in moments like these it was even more clear: there was nothing he wouldn't do for that girl. “I love you too, honey.”

“Good. Now, there's a lot to do. You need to tell us all about MIT and oh! I gotta show you!” Before Peter really knew it, she pulled him out of Tony's hold and into the kitchen. “LOOK!”

Excitedly, she pointed at the fridge, where right next to the picture of Peter at his graduation her current report card was pinned on. Since she was the daughter of Tony and Pepper it wasn't all that surprising to see her acing everything, Peter was still so incredibly proud.

“Oh wow! Straight As, that's amazing!” He wrapped his arms around her, lifted her up and spun her around, getting out all the squeals, just lighting up his everything. Thanks to Peter's super-strength, he actually could still properly spin her and throw her around and Morgan loved it to no end.

“Please don't kill my daughter”, Tony called over from the living room.

“You never let me do anything fun”, Peter moaned, walking back over with Morgan giggling as he dangled her off his back.

“I know, I'm such a monster.”

“Dad, can we go and say hi to Mummy?”

“You can go and say hi, if Pete wants to. Just don't make too much drama, and kiddo, you gotta change first.”

Yeah, Tony might have a point there. Wouldn't want to let all of SI know about that secret identity...

So, a few minutes later, Peter and Morgan skipped towards the SI offices, as Morgan caught him up on all the gossip in the building. At least all the gossip a third-grader could gather up. That was mostly limited to the ongoing cookie-war between Bucky and Thor. It didn't seem like the decision who was truly the best baking Avenger was made any time soon. Nobody in the building was complaining though, there were more than enough delicious baked goods for everybody.

“And promise you won't tell Daddy, but Uncle Rhodey let me fly a bit with him.”

“No.” With wide eyes, he turned to her. “Really? You got to fly with Uncle Rhodey?”

“It was sooo cool!”, she beamed up, “we did two rounds around the compound and we even flew a loop!”

“Omigod, I want to do that, too! I never flew with Uncle Rhodey.”

“But you can almost fly yourself”, she shrugged and pulled him along the corridor.

“I guess... I can't do loops though.”

“You'll have to negotiate with Uncle Rhodey.” And with that she burst into her Mum's office, pulling Peter behind her. “Hi Mum! Look who's here!”

“Pete, so good to see you”, she smiled and got up to greet him properly with a hug. “You good?”

“Very much so. And you?”

“Me too. I'm actually working on your paperwork right now”, Pepper grinned.

“Huh... Getting serious.”

“It is. But for now enjoy that bit of break you have. I assume that you'll spend that time either with the little Miss here or in the lab with Tony.”

“Yes he is”, Morgan answered instead of him.

“You heard her Highness”, Peter chuckled.

“And we wanted to come say hello to you, and I already told him about the cookie war, so we'll go to the Avengers now and get cookies, and then Peter can say hello to them.”

“Sounds good, but Dad said he's gonna cook dinner, so we might wanna go easy on the cookies”, Peter threw in.

“You're boring”, Morgan decided.

“But he's right”, Pepper made clear. “You can go and say hi to Uncle Thor and them, but leave the cookies for dessert.”

“Fine”, the girl moaned.

“Bring some for the rest of us, too, ok?”

“Sure thing”, Peter grinned, held his hand out and together they skipped through the compound, enjoying plenty of hugs, and maybe one too many cookies, before making their way back to the penthouse.

“You're just in time”, Tony greeted them.

“We got dessert.” Proudly, Morgan held the baggie of cookies out to Tony, as they made their way into the dining room.

“That is amazing”, Tony goggled and shot his daughter the widest smile. “You're the best.”

“I know”, she grinned.

“Yep, that's my girl alright”, he chuckled and handed Peter a stack of plates.

“Five plates? I know Happy's on a date, but is Rhodey eating with us?”

“No, there's someone else you got to meet. Remember, I told you about the kid with the potatogun?”

“Yeah”, Peter nodded.

“Well, he's here for an internship as well. 'bout your age, also at MIT and well, it's high-time you two met”, Tony explained, as he put the forks and knives down.

“Cool”, Peter nodded. He was always down to meet nerds like himself. And, if Tony liked the guy enough to invite him to eat together, he was probably a cool guy Peter could get along with.

“Ah, speak of the devil”, Tony smiled, as the elevator door pinged.

Who walked into the room was not anybody Peter had expected though. “Pete, meet Harley. Harley, that's Peter”, Tony introduced them and Peter caught his face falling a little too late. It wasn't just any Harley, it was Peter's Harley. His boyfriend. Who Tony didn't know about.

“Uhm hi”, he grinned awkwardly at Harley, who clearly fought hard against the blush.

“Hi Peter.” He bit down a grin as he held his hand out. “It's so nice to meet you.”

“Likewise”, Peter all but giggled as he shook the outstretched hand.

“Guys, can we eat? I'm hungry!”, Morgan moaned, thankfully interrupting the awkwardness.

“How? You just had cookies.”

“Seriously? You go and eat all the cookies, while I'm slaving in the kitchen for you kids?” With the most dramatic expression he could muster up, Tony clutched his chest. “That is how you thank me?”

“I will always be hungry enough for your food”, she beamed up at him and, when Peter finally managed to break eye contact with Harley, he could see Tony melting right there in front of them. It was delightful.

Or well, it would be, if he didn't feel Harley's eyes on him, especially once they got themselves seated, with his boyfriend right opposite Peter. Thankfully, Morgan was giddy enough to pull all the attention toward herself and away from the boyfriends, looking everywhere but the other.

This was so weird. In the initial surprise of finding out that the potatogunkid, Peter had heart so much about, was his boyfriend, it didn't even occur to either one to tell the truth. But the longer that it lasted, the more Peter's insecurity grew.. Weren't they going to tell the truth? Peter was not sure if it was something he wanted right now, given that their relationship was really new. Like 24 hours new.

“I gotta say, I'm surprised you two haven't met yet”, Tony commented when he eventually got a word in.

Neither seemed to be sure how to continue with that, as they both just looked at Tony with wide eyes.

“What?”, Tony shot back. “If you two knew each other it would have come up; Peter's told me so much about his group of friends, I feel like I know everything about Tommy and Jacob and Brianna and the oh so pretty and intelligent Allison...” He shot Peter some eyebrow-wiggles, leaving him to turn beet-red and looking everywhere except for Harley.

“Oh, Allison Lopez?”, Harley grinned, “that's your taste?”

Shit, couldn't Peter just turn invisible? Yes, he might have had a bit of a crush on her, but that was two semesters ago and as good of friends they were, there wasn't anything going on between him and Allison.

Tony however didn't seem to understand that. “I still don't get what keeps you from going out with her.”

“Neither can I”, Harley continued with that infuriating smirk. “I mean she is so nice and smart and yeah, she's really beautiful.”

“Please Keener, what do you know, you're gay”, Tony scoffed.

“Oh you are?”, Peter shot over and Harley just rolled his eyes. Whether at Tony or Peter, he wasn't sure.

“I can still appreciate beautiful women”, he ignored Peter as he addressed Tony. “For example I can tell that your wife is so out of your league.”

Oh damn. Yup, Peter definitely knew why he was into that guy. “Harley, I like you”, he grinned over.

In return he got the most exasperated of all the deadpans: “Gee, thanks.” Knowing him like he did, Peter was pretty damn sure that Harley fought tooth and nail to keep from retorting something along the lines of 'yeah, you made that clear the other night'. Thankfully, to a) keep from scarring Morgan for life and b) keep Tony from having a heart attack, Harley bit any remarks back.

“Yeah, he's really funny”, Morgan giggled, earning her Tony's signature move: the pointing at her with his eyebrows raised.

“Young lady, he is not. Harley Keener is nothing but a scullion, a rampallian, a fustilarian!”

“What's that?”

While Pepper explained Shakespearean insults to Morgan, Peter excused himself with a nod and made straight for the bathroom. He was just one enhanced man, how the hell was he supposed to deal with all this by himself?

.

Peter: SOS!!!

Ned: what's going on? bombthreat? Doc Ock? alien invasion?

Peter: it's so much worse...

Ned: WHAT IS IT?

Peter: so, last night me and Harley... we made it official

Ned: finally! I'm really happy for you but in what world is that a SOS-situation?

Peter: that friend he told us about, who he got an internship with and stuff?

Ned: yeah?

Peter: Tony. Stark.

Ned: Uff... that couldn't have been fun to explain

Peter: Yeah... we kinda didn't?

Peter: And now I maybe might be hiding in the bathroom because it's so weird

.

Harley: Are you hiding from me right now?

Peter: And why would I do that?

.

Peter: And of course, Harley knows I'm hiding from him

Ned: I know this sucks dude but I'm not sure how to help you

Peter: I don't either!!!

.

Harley: Because you didn't want to tell me that you're family with freaking Ironman?

Peter: Well, neither did you

Harley: Fair enough

Harley: Still no need to hide though, is there?

.

Ned: kay, listen man: you're gonna go in there, pretend everything's cool and as soon as you got the chance you and Harley talk about how you wanna play this

Ned: got it?

Peter: yes sir

Peter: thanks, you're the best guy in a chair any superhero can have! <3 <3 <3

.

When he got back into the dining room, Harley greeted Peter with the damnedest smirk, though that was to be expected. What wasn't to be expected, was that there didn't seem to be a single cookie left for him.

“Morgan Hope Stark. Where is my cookie?” He turned to the girl who just did not have a poker face. A grin tugged at the corners of her mouth and her eyes went wide, when she answered: “I have no idea what you're talking about.”

“Oh, is this how you want to play it?”, he shot back and glared at her with narrowed eyes. “Pepper, do I have permission to execute 'Operation Truthserum'?”

“No, no, Mummy no!”, she squealed, already shying back, knowing exactly what was about to happen.

“You do have my permission”, Pepper nodded and within seconds, Peter grabbed her by the waist, hoisted her over his shoulder and made for the couch, all that accompanied by a steady high-pitched squeal. The worst – for Morgan – was yet to come though. Once she landed on the cushions, the tickle attack started.

“STOP IT PETEY!”, she giggled.

“Will you tell me what happened to my cookie?”

“It wasn't me!”, she made clear looking up with wide eyes.

“Then who was it?”

“I can't say”, she admitted, “I promised!”

“Well, we should always keep the promises we make”, Peter admitted and dropped next to her on the couch. “Then I guess I just have to go to bed without another cookie, because someone over there”, he gestured towards the general direction of the table, “doesn't like me.”

“Oh no!” Morgan seemed to be truly perturbed by the idea that someone might not like Peter, especially since they were all a family. “I think you being sad is worse than breaking a promise”, she eventually decided. “It was Harley. He took your cookie, saying that he was gonna be the better intern anyways.”

“No.” With all the dramatics he could muster up, Peter feigned surprised shock. In reality, he had expected it to be Harley, his revenge for Peter hiding himself away. “How mean! Dad was right, he really is a scullion!”

“Maybe now you can prank him too?”, Morgan suggested, grinning somehow devilishly and adorably at the same time.

“Oh definitely. You gonna help me?”

“Yes!”

“Awesome. Means we already know what we'll do tomorrow.”

“Great, you're still alive”, Tony chuckled, as he made his way over to the couch. “The tortured screams of my beloved offspring suddenly stopped; thought I should make sure that you didn't take down my house or killed each other.” He dropped down between the two, putting an arm around each. “Happy to see you didn't.”

“Not on my first day back”, Peter shrugged and leaned into the hug.

“Thanks, I really appreciate that”, Tony deadpanned. “If you want to, though, we can get more cookies.”

“That's alright”, Peter grinned and winked at Morgan. “I've got something better.”

Looking from Morgan to Peter, Tony remarked: “I don't like that look on your faces one bit.”

“It's ok, daddy”, Morgan assured him, “since you didn't take his cookie, you're not in danger.”

“Oh for the love of Peggy Carter, please tell me you and Harley aren't gonna start a whole rivalry.”

“Because you would never do something like that, would you?”, Peter grinned. “Mr America told me what went on in the early days of the Avengers.”

“Of course he did.” With a scoff, Tony rolled his eyes.

“Why?”, Morgan asked looking from Tony to Peter, “what happened?”

“Nothing you need to worry about.”

“Don't worry”, Peter hissed over Tony's lap to the girl, “I'll tell you later.”

“You will do no such thing”, he made clear, “you're not here to be some irresponsible idiot terrorizing me, my family or my company.”

“You're right, Mr Stark, I'm a responsible young adult, here to do an responsible job and be responsible doing so.”

“Say responsible one more time and I might actually believe you”, came the deadpan response.

Well, then Peter'd give Tony exactly what he asked for. “I will be responsible, conscientious, reliable, dependable, unfailing, trustwor...”

“Yeah, yeah, you proofed your point”, Tony waved him off. “You need a lift home or are you sleeping over?”

“He's sleeping here”, Morgan decided.

“Works for me”, Peter shrugged, “May and Happy are having a date night, I don't need to be a part of that.”

“I know, right?”, Morgan rolled her eyes, “date nights are so gross.”

“I'll remind you of that exact sentence in about 8 years”, Tony made clear and turned to Peter before Mo could argue some more. “Your room's like you left it, at least it should be, I asked Dum-E to clean and I've honestly been too scared to check what he's done to it.”

“That's ok, Pete can sleep in my room.”

“Did you ask your Mum if that's okay?”

“I'm asking you now”, she beamed up.

“Yeah, but you know that Mum is the boss in this house.”

“Fine”, she moaned, jumped off the couch and trotted over to the dinning room.

“I know you don't really have a choice, but you cool with sleeping crammed into a children's princess bed?”

“Two words”, he grinned back. “Makeshift bunk-beds.”

“Oh fuck no”, Tony groaned, “the last time you made beds for you two, it ended with a crash and you dislocating your shoulder.”

Right, Tony might have a point in opposing this idea. Peter making webbing-hammocks was super fun, until one of the supporting webs dissolved too quickly and down they fell. Morgan landed on top of Peter, thusly landing soft enough to break the fall and not getting hurt. Peter wasn't so lucky, but once his shoulder was popped back into place, everything was alright again. And the 'no creating bunk-beds-rule' was put into place.

“Besides”, Tony continued, “I will ground you, no hesitation.”

Yeah, Peter did not doubt that for a second. No matter he was a twenty-one year old fifth-semester student, being grounded was definitely a possibility.

“Mummy said yes!” Squealing loudly and excitedly, Morgan skipped back towards them, followed by Pepper and Harley, albeit a little slower. “You can stay in my room!”

“If it keeps either one from sleeping, that will have been the last time though”, Tony made clear and Harley looked like he had to bite down hard to keep from bursting out laughing as did Pepper.

“Promise, daddy”, Morgan nodded.

“Yeah, dad”, Peter grinned, “we promise.”

“I'll hold you to that”, Tony made clear and waved at the two. “Right then, go and get ready. It's bedtime soon.”

“Sure thing. I'll just go to my room, get my PJs and brush my teeth and I'll be right back up”, he promised the girl and made for the elevator. The doors were just about to close, when a hand stopped it from doing so. Harley's hand. With a grin he walked in and leaned against the wall right opposite Peter.

“So, Peter was it?”, he grinned and, as soon as the doors were closed, he leaned in.

“Wait”, Peter just about managed to get out and looked up at the camera. “FRI, please don't tell anybody what you're about to witness and delete any and all footage of what's about to happen.”

“Of course, Peter.”

He turned back to his wide-eyed boyfriend, who clearly was not yet used to FRIDAY. But that could matter another time. With his hands on Harley's shoulders, Peter leaned in and pressed their lips together.

“Man, I've been wanting to do this all evening...”

“Me too”, Peter nodded, once they broke apart. And just in time at that, with a ding the elevator doors opened.

“Oh would you look at that, your room is right next to mine, what a good thing to know”, Harley smirked and Peter couldn't help his cheeks blushing. Since unfortunately (or in all honesty not very much so) Harley followed Peter into his room, the blush did not die down. “Nice”, he whistled appreciatively, as he took in the pictures of Peter's friends and family, the posters of StarWars and funny science puns. “Kinda looks like your dorm room.”

“I know. Guess that's what you'd call my own personal style”, Peter shrugged, before diving into his closet in search of PJs.

“So”, Harley cleared his throat as he made himself comfortable on Peter's bed. “You're close with Tony. As am I. Something we both decided to keep from each other but well, guess we're even.”

“Fair enough.”

“Why'd you never tell him about me, though?”, he moped. “You told him about Allison...”

“Because”, Peter scoffed as he turned back around to him, “that one date me and Allison have been on was about nine months ago and he still keeps on pestering me about her.”

“Ok yeah, I'll give you that.”

“Another question though: Why are we keeping us from Tony now?” Peter sat himself on the bed just opposite Harley, who scooted close enough for their feet to touch.

“I don't know.”

“I mean, I don't wanna go up to him and say: oh by the way, me and Harley have been doing it for the last month or so and as of yesterday we're actually a couple”, Peter summarized their relationship.

“Yeah, me neither. The mechanic can get intense.”

“As can the Avengers.”

“Besides, since we're working together, things should be kinda professional, right?”

“So you think we should keep this to ourselves?”

“Maybe yes, at least for now”, Harley nodded. “Just until we've figured all this out, you know with working and even kinda living together.”

“Right then. Dating in secret.” Thusly keeping it from Peter's entire extended family. But Harley was right, it was the best thing to do for the time being. Navigating a new relationship was always hard, having Ironman and the Avengers watching your every move while doing so would just make everything so much more challenging.

“If you're not comfortable with that, I get it. We can come clean.” Harley offered him a smile, a beautiful smile and grabbed Peter's hand.

“No, I agree, for now we have enough to figure out on our own. I appreciate it though.”

“Anything for my boyfriend”, Harley grinned and leaned in and Peter was more than happy to close the last bit of distance. And then an arm wrapped itself around his waist and pulled him closer. And before Peter knew it, he and Harley were tangled up on the bed, his hand in Harley's hair, Harley's arms holding him close. It was wonderful and perfect. Until Harley's hand made it's way under Peter's shirt.

“No”, he mumbled, “that's a bad idea.”

“Feels definitely too nice to be a bad idea”, Harley chuckled.

“Amazing is the word I'd have gone with”, Peter grinned leaning back. “That's the issue though. It's kind of like...”

“Like doing it at your dad's”, Harley finished the train of thought.

“Yeah. And I think it wouldn't be as bad, if I didn't have Morgan waiting up there.”

“I do get that”, Harley nodded, “laying in bed with your innocent pseudo-kid-sister after mind-blowing sex with your boyfriend...”

“Someone's having a high opinion of himself”, Peter scoffed as he untangled himself from Harley.

“Oh, but that's not my opinion”, he smirked, rolling onto his stomach and watching every little move of Peter's as he changed into his PJs. “That is something I will forever remember being whispered into my ear.”

Fine, Harley might have a point. Peter wasn't going to give him the satisfaction though and remained as stoic as he could.

“Mhm, gotta say, I do love this show”, Harley commented just before Peter pulled the sleep-shirt over his head. “Who'd've thought that a nerd like you'd be so fit?”

“Well thanks. Not sure what has gone wrong though that you only get that now.” His eyebrow raised, Peter turned back to Harley.

That damn smirk just wouldn't disappear, ever; Peter probably had to resign himself to the fact that his boyfriend would look at him like that all the time from now on until... Well, time would tell. All he had to do now was to find a way to keep from blushing like an idiot every time Harley shot him that infuriatingly sexy grin. “You know, some people have a painting, a movie or something they enjoy so much, they can watch it over and over and over again.” He walked all the way up to Peter and brushed his hands over the now dressed chest and Peter cursed himself for jumping under his boyfriend's touch. “I too have a work of art I like to admire.”

“Shut up”, Peter mumbled, not sure what else to say to that.

“Make me.”

That Peter would. “Sleep well and I'll see you tomorrow”, he mumbled between kisses.

“Yeah, you too.”

*

“Maybe you could web him to the ceiling?”, Morgan suggested, as they sat over a nice cheerio-breakfast.

“But he doesn't know I'm Spider-Man”, Peter shrugged and with one big sip finished the rest of his hot chocolate.

“It would be such a funny way to tell him, though.”

She might have a point there, if only because Peter should probably tell Harley about his alter ego. As long as they had only been fooling around, it wasn't really anything he even considered. Now that they were dating though... There were already so many secrets surrounding their relationship, they probably shouldn't have any secrets between the two of them.

“How about for now we find a revenge plan that doesn't involve superpowers?”

“You're boring.” With Tony-levels of dramatics, she rolled her eyes and shook her head.

“Ok, I promise we can do your idea once Harley found out about it.”

“Found out about what?” Harley walked into the kitchen, eyeing him curiously. A bit of a flirty glint in his eyes mixed with plenty of curiosity, he sat himself opposite Peter.

Fuck. With the heat, the blush rose in Peter's face and he just locked eyes with Morgan, who just shrugged.

“Idagit idagis idaga sidigedigret.”

“Idagi knodogow”, Morgan answered, “whaddagat doddogo yagidou wagidant toddogo tagitell hidagim?”

“You guys seriously have a secret language?”

“Are you actually surprised?”, Peter shot over before turning back to Morgan. “Widage cadagan juddugust pragitend nodogothidaging hadagappidagened adigand stadigay quidagiet. Thadigat coddogool?”

“Toddogotagidally.”

With a self-satisfied grin, Peter and Morgan nodded at each other before turning to Harley. “So, what's up?”, Peter beamed at his boyfriend, who looked like he wasn't sure he really wanted to be here and witness whatever was happening between the pseudo-siblings. “You doing alright?”

“Yeah. Not sure you are, but from what I've seen it doesn't seem too unusual.”

“No, not really”, Peter nodded in agreement. “Well, me and Morgan were just gonna head over and get some more cookies, since for some unexplainable reasons I never got one last night.”

Harley met Peter's challenging stare head-on as he smirked: “yeah, that is indeed weird.”

“Whoever did that will have to pay dearly”, Peter made clear, blushing ever so slightly, when Harley bit his lip. “Oh that poor soul.” And here Peter was, caught and losing himself in Harley's eyes, shining brighter than the biggest arc reactor.

“Can we go get cookies now?”, Morgan, who Peter might have momentarily forgotten was sitting right beside them, interrupted them making eyes at each other.

“Yes, definitely”, he nodded, happy to be interrupted just in time before things would become uncomfortably heated.

“Can I come too?”

Morgan just skipped over, grabbed Harley's hand and held her free one out to Peter. “Let's get ready to cookie!”

*

“Peter, can you come here for a moment?”

Oh, that couldn't be good. For about two weeks Peter and Harley's prank war had been going on and there was everything from cling wrap on the toilet to pink colour in the shampoo; from changing ringtones and contact names to putting all of Harley's furniture on the roof (thank you spider-strength!) there wasn't a prank they didn't go through with. And now Harley calling him into the common room? Peter's spider-sense didn't tingle, but that didn't mean anything.

“What's up?” Carefully, Peter put his head through the door, but Harley was doing was sitting on the couch.

“I need your brain”, he sighed, barely looking up. “As much as I hate to admit it, you're smarter than me.”

“Huh...” Something was up, Peter didn't need spider-senses to tell him that. “Why are you being nice?”

“You don't trust me?” With the fakest pained expression, Harley clutched his chest. “I am a nice person that currently needs your help!”

“Alright...” With every careful step, Peter took a good look around the room again. Nat and Wanda were sitting in the corner, biting down their grins at the scene in front of them. Well, those two weren't going to be any help... With as much distance between him and Harley as possible, Peter sat himself opposite on the couch. “What's up then?”

“This damn thing here.” What he held out to Peter looked like a remote. Spider-senses didn't pick anything up, so he carefully reached out for it and took it in his hand. At first glance nothing seemed to be wrong with it.

“What's broken about it then?”

“No idea”, Harley shrugged. “I can't figure it out...”

“Did you forget to change the batteries?”, Peter rolled his eyes.

“I'm not that dumb”, Harley made clear.

“You sure?” Peter was only riling him up and, extra slowly and showy, he checked the batteries. Well, wanted to.

Behind him loud cries and screams that could wake the dead had him jump; as he turned all he made out was a distinctly goblin-shaped figure. Without thinking about it, his instincts took over and within moments he jumped up on the ceiling and shot webs at everything that moved.

“Oh, for fucks sake, Pete, it's just me”, Clint groaned in a weird green get up with fake muscles, a purple unitard-thingy and hat; all that covered in webs.

“What the fuck, Clint?”, Peter yelled, “how do you get the idea to walk around dressed like THAT and not get webbed? Seriously, you're lucky I didn't punch you.”

“Wasn't my idea”, Clint defended himself and with his stuck arms he gestured vaguely towards the couch, where Peter only now remembered his boyfriend sitting. His boyfriend, who didn't know Peter was Spider-Man. His boyfriend who looked up at Peter, whiter than a sheet of paper and his jaw somewhere on the ground.

Oh fuck.

“Uhm, Harley? You alright?” Since there was clearly no greater threat than Harley breaking up with Peter for lying to him, Peter lowered himself on a web, until he and his hopefully still boyfriend were eye to eye.

“You... You... You're Spider-Man.”

“Guilty as charged.”

“Ok...”, he nodded, though clearly it was anything but ok. “Ok”, he repeated shaking his head and got up off the couch.

“Harley?”

“Ok.” With a smile, that looked almost manic, he looked around the room, where not only Peter but also Nat, Wanda and the Clint Goblin were quite worried. “Ok!” And out the door he went.

“Right, this is not what I thought would happen when I agreed to prank you”, Clint made clear. “You can still unstick me, though.”

“Nah”, Peter, Nat and Wanda agreed. “You deserve this.”

“Someone should check on Harley, though...”

“I'm on it”, Peter nodded and, after shooting Clint one more middle finger for this fucking idiotic idea of dressing up as his arch-nemesis (Well, one of them. But thanks to Harry there was more than enough emotional baggage attached and Clint quite frankly should know so much fucking better), he headed out and for Harley's room.

“You wanna talk about it?” Peter put his head through the ajar door to Harley's room, where his boyfriend was currently sitting on the bed, staring at the blank wall.

“I don't know”, he shrugged, still focusing on the wall in front of him. “I mean...”

“I'm really sorry.” With his apology, Peter slipped into the room and leaned against the now closed door. “I just... I've been planning the perfect way to tell you for these last two weeks, but I guess that didn't really work out...”

“Oh really?” Dripping with sarcasm, Harley rolled his eyes before finally turning to Peter. “You didn't plan on telling me by screaming bloody murder before jumping up and sticking yourself to the ceiling and webbing Hawkeye?”

“Believe it or not, but no I didn't...”

“I guess it explains, why none of my pranks really worked against you.”

“Sorry, super-hearing, strength and spider-senses do not really make for a levelled playing field.”

“No kidding”, Harley snorted.

Peter shuffled over and kneeled on the foot of the bed. “Can I somehow make this better or up to you?”

“Dude, I'm not mad”, Harley made clear, “not really at least. We've been dating for what, two weeks? It's not like I was about to propose to you. I'm just... surprised, that's all.”

“I get that. Anything you need to let out or ask or anything like that, just...” Peter held his arms out, “let it out.”

“I've seen Spider-Man naked.” As realization hit with Harley, Peter just burst out with laughter. “That's your take-away?”

“I feel like that's a big deal”, he nodded as the grin spread over his own face. “I mean, who can say that? I'm also the only one who gets to kiss Spider-Man, anytime I want to.”

“That is in fact a pretty big deal”, Peter smirked, “from what I've heard Spidey's an amazing kisser and incredible in bed.”

“As much as I'd love to argue that, they're true facts.” And with that, Harley leaned closer and pressed their lips together. “Omigod, I'm kissing Spider-Man”, he mumbled without breaking away.

“Seriously?”, Peter deadpanned, “do I have to expect that every time we kiss from now on? Because I don't know if...”

“Shut up, Spider-Man and let me kiss you.”

*

“WHERE IS HE?” Yelling at the top of his lungs, Peter stormed through the compound. Oh, he's done it, Harley's gone too far.

In the common room, he was only met with five pairs of eyes on him. “Who's he?”

“Harley”, Peter hissed, “where is he?”

“Last I heard he was in the lab with Stark”, Nat answered, eyeing him curiously. “And I'd assume that your prank war has reached its inevitable climax?”

“Let's just say, he's gonna pay.” Without an explanation or gracing the Avengers with another glance, Peter turned on his heel and stormed off towards the lab.

How the fuck did that damn idiot think it would be ok to mess with Peter's suit?

“HARLEY KEENER!”, he cried out, before he got even through the lab doors.

Just in time, he saw him diving behind Tony for safety, which was quite futile; not even Ironman could save Harley from Peter's wrath.

“Pete, please, I thought we agreed to keep your stupid rivalry out of my workshop”, Tony groaned.

Peter completely ignored Tony and stared right at where his boyfriend peeked out from behind him. “You've gone to far.”

“What did you do?” Peter was pretty sure, Tony didn't really want to know or even cared what Harley had done, but was that type of tired Dad, who just wanted some peace and quiet.

“He did THIS!” Ever since Peter had noticed the writing on the back of his spider-suit, he had worn a hoodie to hide it. Now he unzipped it and turned to Tony, so he too could read what all of New York now knew.

“Jar Jar Binks wasn't so bad”, Tony read and Peter heard Harley's failed attempt at hiding his giggles. “Pete, I'm with you on this one, a hundred percent, but please”, he pleaded, “even though he would deserve it, don't toss Harley to the Sinister Six.”

“You just wait, Keener”, Peter growled, “you'll regret the day, you decided to turn Spider-Man into the menace The Daily Bugle always said he was.” Not giving Harley the chance to ridicule him any more, Peter turned on his heel and stomped out.

“Please don't talk about yourself in the third person”, was the last thing he heard Tony groan, before the elevator doors closed.

There really was only one thing he could do. And, as much as Tony would hate it, Harley turning Peter into a fucking Jar Jar Binks stan was so much worse than anything Peter could come up with. But he'd need help for that, since Harley wasn't dumb enough to be alone with Peter.

Thankfully, there was the world's best sidekick.

“Hi Pepper”, he greeted her, when the elevator door to the penthouse opened, “is Morgan back from school yet?”

“Not yet, she has soccer training.”

“Right, it's Tuesday”, Peter remembered. Given that he was a currently employed worker at one of this country's most prestigious companies, he really was as clueless as they come.

“Can I help you out with what I'm assuming is your revenge plan to get back at Harley for what he pulled earlier? It's on twitter”, Pepper explained, before Peter could ask how she knew about it.

“Of fucking course it is.” With a groan, Peter fell on the couch.

“I'm sorry, kid.” Sitting next to him, she patted his shoulder. “This really must suck. Now, I usually don't condone these kind of things, but this whole prank war just has to end. So I'm gonna help you with one last stint and then it's all over, alright?”

“You'd really do that?”, he beamed over. Him and Pepper co-planning a prank? Screw intern at SI, that's what needed to be put on Peter's curriculum vitae!

“I guess you already know what you want to do, but need somebody to lure Harley wherever you need him to be.”

“Exactly.”

“Right then. What do you need from me?”

*

After Peter had stormed out of the lab, Tony decided it probably be best to just ignore the whole thing. As horrible as what Harley had done to Peter was, they were both adults and Tony was not gonna do that to himself and meddle with them. So back to work they went, until FRIDAY's voice ripped them away from it. “Harley, Pepper asks that you please come up to the penthouse, there is a form she needs you to sign.”

“Like right now?”

“Yes please, it'll only take a moment.”

“Fine”, he shrugged, put the screwdriver down and made for upstairs.

Three minutes passed, then five, then ten, but Harley didn't come back down. Damnit. This just screamed revenge. Did Tony really want to know what was going on? No, not really. Then why the fuck did he put down his tools and go up to the penthouse?

`

“Pep? Harley?”, he called out when he got into the empty living room.

“MHMMHM!” Those muffled cries came from just above him. And even though Tony knew exactly what he would see there, he still jumped a bit in surprise to find Harley, webbed to the ceiling, including a web covering up his mouth.

“Oh for fuck's sake”, Tony grumbled. “Where's Pete or my wife?”

“Over here”, Pepper called, as she and Peter carried a mattress over to put right under Harley.

“Just in case”, Peter explained, “I do plan on catching him once the webs dissolve.” Once they placed the mattress, Peter climbed up, hovering right by Harley's face. “Ok, this is a bit of a dick move, so I'll just take this off.” With careful movements, Peter dissolved the web over Harley's face.

“Peter Benjamin Parker, you absolute fucker”, Harley eventually groaned, once he could speak again.

“I hate to say this, but you do deserve it”, Tony shrugged. “And how the hell did Pete rope you in, darling?”

“I didn't have to”, Peter chirped from his place on the ceiling, “she offered her help.”

“My, my”, he grinned and put his arm around Pepper, who smiled right back.

“Look, I found some more pillows!”, Morgan giggled, as she skipped over. She literally could not have been home longer than maybe ten minutes, she still was in full soccer gear. Looks like they practised outside today, judging from the grass and dirt stains all over the light blue uniform. “Hi daddy!”, she beamed, as she went straight for the safety cushion on the ground. “Look, Pete, finally did my idea!”

“That was your idea? Wow, the women in my life are really a lot more devious than I previously though...”

“Yes”, she grinned proudly. “And now Harley has to promise that the pranking is over.”

“Peter did just as many pranks as me”, Harley protested, “so he should have to promise too.”

“Fine”, Peter shrugged, “I hereby promise that this was my last prank of this war.”

“Right, I promise not to avenge my being used as a candelabra.”

“Great”, Pepper smiled, “my work here is done. Honey, how about we let the kids be and get a cup of coffee?” She held her hand out and there was nothing in the world that could be nicer than to take it and let her pull him away from all this chaos and the wonderfulness that was a date with his wife.

*

What the fuck was Professor Smythe's problem? Seriously, he and Jameson's obsession with building robots that could end Peter was ridiculous. The current Spider-Slayer (oh, how much he HATED that name) was naturally too slick for Peter or his webs to stick, but he hadn't expected anything less. It also had some damn web-shooters, could climb up walls and some kind of energy beam or pulse gun, that could knock a statue off its pedestal. Peter definitely was not in the mood to find out what it could do to him.

Maybe he could fry the system? He had never tried it with any of the Slayers before, but that seemed to be the best thing to do to a) have a chance of defeating it and b) get it away from civilians. So that's what he did. Bungee-jumping off Brooklyn Bridge, the bot followed him right away. Coming out of the water again, Peter perched himself on the balustrade, waiting whether his hunch proofed right.

And of course it didn't. Well then, let the cat-and-mouse-games continue. Peter had to admit, his manoeuvrers did grow more and more dangerous, but there just had to be a twist or turn too fast for the damn thing, so it'd crash and hopefully break on the concrete.

“Mr Stark is calling”, KAREN announced just as Peter landed a quite formidable hit, if he dare say so himself.

“I'm kinda busy”, he hissed, ducking just in time to get one of these metallic legs to the stomach and webbed himself up a skyscraper; which exactly it was he didn't really have the chance to make out and besides, he really didn't care at the moment.

“I know”, came Tony's voice. “You need support?”

“Thanks”, he shot back, rolling his eyes that of course Tony had his tracker, location and what not pulled up. “I can handle it.”

“No doubts there. Just offering that you don't have to.”

“Appreciate it.” Perching himself on the roof's edge, he had just enough time for a short breather, when that Slayer crawled right up there. Fan-fucking-tastic.

“Jameson or Smythe, whoever is in charge of this right now: Really? Another Slayer? Haven't you learned your lessons the last umpteen times?”

“Kiddo, don't engage with the villains, just beat them.” Peter could practically hear Tony rolling his eyes, but he wasn't going to let Ironman tell him how to fight his rogues and was happy to ignore him.

Since the Spider-Slayer didn't answer, Peter concluded that it couldn't hear, or speak. Because Jameson would not let himself get taunted like this without shooting back.

With one quite impressive jump, Peter landed right behind the thing and, before it could turn and defend itself, landed a wonderful hit, that almost send it flying off the roof. “Take that!”

“Seriously?”

“Shut up, Mr Stark, I have to concentrate.”

“Oh, so it's Mr Stark again?”

“Yes”, Peter just made clear, and jumped up just in time to avoid getting hit by one robotic arm, and landing right in the next one. And shit, that hurt. “Fuck!”, he cried out. “Don't do that, you dumb slayer, that's how people get hurt!”

“Who got hurt?” Great, now Harley got in the mix as well. Tony must have their conversation on speaker in the lab.

“Apparently Peter is. What the hell is going on?”

“I got it handled, damnit!”, he groaned and in all the frustration of being punched in front of an audience, he even got a few good hits in, leaving wonderful dents in the admittedly quite hard metal. “BAM!”

Peter's cocky joy about hitting that thing didn't last too long though. The bot turned, set up for a punch, but not fast enough for Peter's spider-senses. Turns out, his early warning system wasn't really alerting him to the punch though; in avoiding getting hit, Peter jumped right into that fucking energy beam, and before he really knew it happened, he found himself blasted off the roof and falling towards the busy streets with an unfortunately not all that manly scream.

“Kid, what the fuck?”

“What's going on?”

Somehow in his deathly panic, he could make out Tony and Harley's concerned voices over the speakers, but him saving his own life was more important right now. Shooting webs and swinging to the safety of a few rooftops over wasn't that difficult, though saying it wasn't a scaring shock would be a lie.

“FUCKING ANSWER ME!”, Tony cried out, and only now Peter remembered to maybe console his father figure and his boyfriend.

“I'm alright”, he assured them.

“Good, cause if you die, I'm gonna kill you”, Harley made clear.

No, Peter had other things to deal with right now; his distraught boyfriend could wait. “FRIDAY, please take care of Tony and Harley, but I'd much rather deal with this armed-to-the-teeth killer-robot that was especially designed to kill me, than with them being hysteric.”

“What do you mean, especially designed to kill you?”

“Talk to you later, bye!”, he chirped. “KAREN, hang up please and keep either from calling me.”

“Call ended.”

“Thanks, K, you're the best. Now. The Slayer. If we go to The Daily Bugle HQ, we could baseball that sonofabitch with the Jameson statue they have out front. Do you think that'd piss him sufficiently off?”

“I assume yes”, she answered, “but it would also aggravate Jameson a lot more.”

“K, I've literally done nothing to the man, and he's paying a mad scientist to build killer-robots. I don't think there's much more aggravation possible.”

“You might have a point”, she admitted.

“Thanks. Right then, let's flatten this thing!”

The hardest part about swinging to The Bugle was avoiding that damn impulse beam. It almost blasted Peter out of the sky twice, and thanks to that fucking gun, his landing in front of The Bugle was unfortunately not as much of a landing, as him being smacked against the building. Ouch. That was gonna be beautifully blue and purple.

“Jameson, now you might hear me”, Peter cried out, circling that damn thing. “I honestly believe in nothing less than doing what's right, which is helping out the people of New York. And if all I do for the rest of my days is stop car thieves or pick pockets, help elderly people over the street or help some poor tourists, that got lost in the city then I'm happy to do just that. I don't understand your hatred of me, but well, if you so clearly need to loathe me, let me at least give you a proper reason to do so.”

With all his strength, he ripped the statue of his nemesis out of its plinth and brought it down on the robot.

“You think that did it?”, he whispered, as he waited for that thing to move again.

“My scanners show no signs of any activity”, she reported. “It seems you have successfully destroyed the Spider-Slayer and given Jameson more than enough reasons to hate you.”

“Yeah, I'm already looking forward to tomorrows Bugle”, he scoffed and, after making sure that none of the civilians standing around were hurt, he took off again.

“I suggest that you make your way back to the compound. You have taken a few bad hits and even with your enhanced healing you'll take a while to completely recuperate.”

Sure, KAREN had a point, a very good point, since everything, really everything hurt like hell. But if he went back there now, he'd have Tony and Harley to deal with and that was nothing he was really in the mood for. Then again... “I assume if I don't do so, Tony will come and pick me up.”

“According to FRIDAY, he gives you thirty seconds to make your way to the compound or he will do exactly that.”

“Well, whoop-de-fucking-do”, he groaned. “The compound it is, then.”

“Oh, I'm gonna kill you!” Peter was barely through the doors, when both Tony and Harley stormed towards him.

“Back off”, he made clear. “I am not in the mood.”

Funnily enough, both shied back a bit. “But you will go to the medbay now, that is an order”, Tony made clear.

“Gladly”, Peter sighed and pulled his mask off. Judging from the way Harley gasped and Tony's face fell, he had quite the bruise there. In all honesty, Peter wasn't sure what was injured and what wasn't, everything just hurt. Not just physically, but... Smythe and JJJ really hated Peter. No, hate was probably not strong enough a word for it. Besides the point that Peter couldn't imagine hating anybody to that much a degree that you actually wanted them dead and did everything in your power to actually kill them, it was them hating Peter for no real reason. They didn't even know Spider-Man, all they knew was that he had superpowers. And it scared them so much that it didn't matter what he did; it didn't matter how often he saved New York or the world, they were gonna hate him.

“Impressive speech, kiddo”, Bruce praised him, as he gave Peter the once-over.

“Thanks”, he mumbled, but didn't manage more than a half-hearted smile.

“You know why you are so much more amazing than Jameson will ever be?”, Bruce remarked, as he got some lotion out of a cupboard. He didn't wait for Peter to ask why, he continued right away: “you let love lead your every move, your every decision. And that is so damn hard to do. Letting fear be your motivator, well, do that and you end up like Jameson, or Smythe... or me. Don't look so shocked”, he chuckled, “me and Hulk went through a lot of emotional turmoil, we hated each other like JJJ hates you. And for the longest time I ran from that exact fear. It took the idiots in this building to help me see that fear isn't the way to go and it was a damn long process. But you... You didn't need to learn that, did you? I know you went through so much shit in your quite short life, but still, you have the biggest heart, you fight for the little guy. And that's why Spider-Man is New York's favourite superhero.”

Peter was honestly floored. All he could do was look at Bruce Banner, the amazing scientist, his idol he looked up to so much, wide eyed and mouth gaping open. Thankfully, the doctor played over it, put a last bit of the lotion on Peter's shoulder, before motioning for him to put his shirt on again.

“Right then. Take it easy, alright? It unfortunately shows that that robot was designed to purposely hurt you. There are no severe injuries, but you're skin's more blue than white.”

“Yeah, I feel that.”

“I bet. So, doctor's orders are to be pampered for the next two days.”

“That I can do”, Peter grinned, probably somewhat crookedly since his face was kinda messed up.

“Good. And as usual, if Tony gets too much, I can always put you in a calm and quiet quarantine.”

“Thanks, you're the best.” It was more limping than walking, but Peter made his way out of the medbay. But, just before the door closed behind him, he turned one more time. “Oh, and Bruce?”

“Yes, Peter?”

“Thanks. For the talk. Means the world.”

“Anytime, kid”, he smiled and waved after Peter, as he made his way to the penthouse, where he was already awaited by Tony, Pepper, Harley, Morgan and by now also May and Happy had arrived. Yup, Peter was definitely going to need Bruce's offer of quarantining him if he wanted only five minutes by himself.

“I'll live”, he greeted his distraught family. “Doctor's orders are to be pampered for the next two days”, he explained as he made his way to the couch and got to get off his feet.

And then the circus started. Immediately everybody crowded him, offered tea, hot chocolate, sweets and so much more. The only time they left his side was when he had to go to the bathroom and even then he had to argue for five minutes that he was able to make it there by himself. Eventually, he just got to lay on the couch with his head on May's lap. And, while his aunt's fingers brushed through his hair, Morgan read him some pirate story. The decision to sleep over at the compound was seconded by everybody present and, while everybody offered to stay with him in his room, Peter was not so much convinced by that. “I am 21 years old, I think I can spend the night. It's not like I've never been hurt before and I've already weathered much worse injuries with a lot less care.”

Not that anybody was happy about the statement, but they at least let him be. After three extra good-night-kisses from Morgan, May insisted on walking him to his room at least.

“I'm sorry”, she remarked as they walked along the corridor in silence.

“What for?”

“That there are people out there trying to harm you”, May sighed and pulled him a bit closer. “And I'm so incredibly proud how you're dealing with this.” When he looked over, he saw her smiling at him, albeit teary-eyed. “You don't vow revenge, you don't go after Jameson and fine, you did destroy his statue earlier, but you don't let the hatred consume you like it consumes him. That is pure Ben, right there. I just know he is sitting up there on a cloud and is so damn proud of the man you're turning out to be.”

“That's thanks to you both”, Peter made clear and leaned into the embrace. “I larb you.”

“Oh honey”, she laughed and put a kiss on his cheek. “I larb you, too.”

.

Harley: You already sleeping?

Peter: come over

.

“Hey.” Almost quietly, Harley slipped into Peter's room. “I'm not gonna ask how you're feeling, because I do not want to be shot the death glare to end all death glares”, he made clear as he made himself comfortable just beside Peter.

“Thanks”, he laughed, “I appreciate that. I do feel the need to ask you how you're doing, though. You've been suspiciously quiet and withdrawn ever since I've come out of the medbay.”

“Yeah... It's just... Until today I didn't get what you being Spider-Man actually means. Up until this afternoon it was just the fact that you've got superpowers and run around the city in spandex. It never occurred to me that you're actually putting yourself in harm's way, fighting supervillains and actually getting hurt.” Gently he stroked Peter's cheek, careful not to touch the bruise. “And the feeling to sit here, listening to you getting beaten up, thrown of a building all the while there's nothing I can do... It's just horrible.”

Peter scooted a little closer and grabbed Harley's hand. “I would love to say I understand, but I don't; I only know the other side. It's like... Being able to do things like that, I have the responsibility to use these powers, you know? Because if there's something happening that I could have stopped, but I didn't...”

“I get that”, Harley nodded and squeezed Peter's hand. The fact that that hurt like hell, Peter didn't try to let on, there was a more urgent matter to be dealt with. “It's so noble and one of the things that are really so damn amazing about you. It's just so horrible to helplessly sit back and have to watch while the guy you love does stuff like this.”

“The guy you what now?” All bruises, injuries and contusions were forgotten as Peter stared at his boyfriend with wide eyes. Did he mishear him or did Harley actually use the L-word?

The way Harley blushed, he probably heard the right thing. “Uhm yeah. The guy I love”, he repeated. “That's you, by the way”, he eventually remarked, when Peter just silently stared at him.

“That's me”, Peter parroted, as his stupidly slow brain tried to compute what was currently happening right in front of him.

“I'm happy to draw you a picture”, Harley snorted. “Yeah, so I have been thinking this for a while now, but today kinda made it clear for me. And if you don't feel like that or don't want to say anything that's cool, we can just...”

“Shut up, Keener.” Peter just cupped Harley's face and pulled him in for a kiss. A fantastic kiss; not even the pain in Peter's everything mattered. “I love you, too”, he smiled, once he broke away.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

How much longer they were lost in their embrace and kisses, Peter had no idea. He didn't care, either, because it was just too damn perfect.

“Stay here, please”, he eventually whispered, when the tiredness was close to take over.

“I wasn't planning on going anywhere”, Harley chuckled and safely enveloped in his boyfriend's arms who he loved and who loved him too, Peter fell asleep with the widest smile.

*

“So, Pete and Harley are awfully close”, Nat remarked and, if you didn't know her like Clint did, you'd easily miss the smirk she tried to hide as she took a sip from her coffee.

“Wait, they are?”, Steve asked.

“Oh, you sweet summer child”, Clint giggled, “yes, they are. Either their boning or they really, really want to.”

“Seriously, Cap, how you managed to land Barnes is really a mystery to me, given your perception of human emotions.”

“Hey”, he defended himself, “that's not fair.”

“Clint has a point, though”, Bucky snorted, “took you what, ninety years to ask me out?”

With Steve blushing in slight embarrassment, the rest of the Avengers started laughing. “Better late than never, right?”, Rogers eventually shrugged, and leaned over to press a kiss on Bucky's cheek.

“Good for you. Doubt Peter and Harley have a century to figure this out though”, Nat brought the conversation back to the topic at hand.

“So you think we should interfere?”

“Not interfere”, she made clear. “But how about a nudge in the right direction?”

*

“Ok, I need to ask you something.” Pepper had made it barely into bed, when Tony blurted out.

“What's up?”

“Is it my imagination or is there something going on between Harley and Peter?” Tony has had this thought for a while now, he'd almost call what they did flirting. And it freaked him out to no end.

“Welcome to the party”, Pepper chuckled as she settled into her pillows. “The Avengers have been gossiping about it for weeks. And so has half of SI.”

“Oh.” That was only slightly embarrassing. But then again, those two were his mentees, in this weird fatherly relationship romantic entanglements it wasn't exactly what he focused on when spending time with his pseudo-sons.

“But, before you go into action mode”, Pepper threw in, putting her hand over his, “let those two work through it themselves. If something really is there, they need to recognize it on their own and not because you or the Avengers told them about it.”

“Yeah, you're right.”

“I always am”, she smiled and, after a good-night-kiss, she snuggled to his side.

“Sleep well, honey.”

*

“Pete, just hear me out”, Clint tried to appease him, “Tasha says that this guy is really nice and definitely good enough for you.”

“Good for him”, Peter shot back, “but I don't need you to set me up on a surprise blind date!”

“Well, yeah, because if it weren't surprise you wouldn't have come”, he shrugged and pushed Peter onto a barstool. “Please, just give it a try. You can web my bow and arrow to the roof of the compound if it's a bust, alright?”

“Fine”, Peter groaned, if only to get this over with and to tell whoever was apparently perfect for Peter that unfortunately he was not interested; he just loved his boyfriend too much. At least Peter wouldn't have to worry about his boyfriend getting jealous or come to any false conclusions; Harley was so going to laugh at Peter, when he'd message him later.

“Great”, Clint chirped, “I'll leave you be then. He should be here any moment, and you can thank me later.” With a damn infuriating grin, Hawkeye all but skipped out of the bar, leaving Peter by himself. Awesome.

What was he supposed to tell this dude? He couldn't tell him that Peter already had a boyfriend, because then Nat'd know, then Clint'd know and then all the Avengers would know.

And the excuse that Peter just wasn't interested in dating at the moment wouldn't really count either, would it?

Well, if that stranger was as cool as Tasha had made him out to be, at least Peter'd have a fun evening, and maybe even make a new friend.

“Uhm, hey Peter.” Harley was the last person Peter expected to hear and the last person he wanted to see five minutes before he was supposed to be on a date.

Beet-red he turned to his boyfriend. “Harley, hey. What are you doing here?”

“Yeah, so funny story”, he harrumphed as he sat next to Peter. “A beer, please”, he ordered before turning to Peter, who already had a coke in front of him. (Why drink alcohol, when it didn't really do anything?) “So, please don't freak, but I kinda am supposed to be on a date right now...”

Oh fuck no.

“Did Nat by any chance set you up for that?”

“Oh what the fuck”, Harley's face fell. “Please don't tell me you're that friend of Clint's who would be just perfect for me?”

They stared at each other for a few moments, processing what was currently going on, before bursting into laughter.

“This is such a mess”, Peter eventually got out. “Against my will I'm being set up on a blind date. With my boyfriend.”

“How weird, I'm in the exact same situation”, Harley grinned and after thanking the bartender, took a generous sip from his beer. “At least I can get drunk to deal with it...”

“Yeah, stomaching that we're apparently the epitome of gossip and in dire need to be set up would be a lot easier with alcohol... Begs the question though: where do we go from here? Do we come out?”

“Honestly, when they're already being that... I don't know, intrusive when they think we're not even together, how you think they're gonna react when we actually are an official couple?”

Harley had a damn point. “Keeping things professional would get a lot harder, too.”

“Yeah. So what, tell them that their genius plan failed?”

“Maybe we should put it one step further”, Peter grinned, when THE idea hit him. “We just tell them that we were stood up, but thankfully had the other's company, making it clear that we didn't even think of each other romantically, you know?”

“Mhm, I gotta be honest though”, Harley grinned, “it's gonna be pretty hard spending tonight, not keeping on replaying what you look like underneath that nice shirt.”

“Dude”, Peter hissed and felt the blush get more and more intense.

“I'm sorry, am I making you uncomfortable?”

“I can just get up and go, tell Clint that this was a disaster”, Peter made clear.

“It admittedly kinda is”, Harley shrugged. “Or at least it will be once we run back to them, tears streaming down about the horrible people that treated us so damn...”

“Atrocious? Grieveous? Heinous? Evil?”, Peter suggested with a smirk.

“Damnit, why you gotta be so smart”, he groaned, taking another sip. ���It's seriously hot.”

“Well, thank you”, Peter grinned, “I do my best.”

*

“Well, hi there Peter. Harley. How was your evening?”

When walking into the common room the next day, they were met with way too many smug grins directed at them.

“Clint, you'll find your bow and quiver webbed to the roof”, Peter fake-smiled.

“What?” His face fell.

“Didn't you like him?”, Nat inquired.

“How should I know?”, Harley shot back, “he never showed up!”

“Yes, you two really picked some winners”, Peter scoffed, trying his all to stay in character. “At least Harley was there, so I didn't sit around all by myself.”

“WHAT?”, Clint cried out.

“Omigod, you're more clueless than Steve”, Bucky groaned, earning him a 'HEY!” and a box to the arm from his boyfriend.

“You literally went home together”, Nat recapped what she and Clint witnessed them doing. Of course they were camped out in front of the bar and followed them home.

“Harley and me? Yeah, once it was clear that nobody was gonna show up, Harley came by my place to play Mario Kart. At which, might I add, I sufficiently kicked his ass”, he added with the triumphant smirk, he's been wearing ever since last night. Admittedly, it wasn't the only thing they did; once May sent them to bed, there was a lot of making-out involved. That was nothing the Avengers needed to know, though.

“Pete, Harley. They set the two of you up”, Tony made clear, walking in behind the couple.

“Wait, what?” Wide-eyed they both turned to Tony and Peter just hoped to whoever was listening that they could manage to keep up the charade.

“You tried to set me and Peter up?” If he didn't know the ploy, Harley's weirded out tone would be downright insulting.

“Yeah”, Clint nodded, “is that so far-fetched?”

No, not at all, since they were actually in love.

“I honestly never considered it”, Peter lied, hopefully good enough that a bunch of super spies would believe him.

“Seriously?”, Wanda questioned him, “you two've been flirting pretty much ever since you arrived.”

“Oh, ok”, Harley shrugged, seemingly pulling off this whole indifference-towards-the-other-thing a lot easier than Peter. Huh. Interesting...

“You can't tell me you didn't notice.” Tasha didn't buy a word of it, Peter could see it in the way she glinted over at him.

“Guys, we're co-workers, literally. There's this thing called professionalism and I know most of you have never heard of it, but it does matter, especially, when our degrees are on the line, so no, we didn't consider anything.”

“Who the hell sits at MIT, worrying about their interns getting together? Besides, Tony and Pepper? Steve and Barnes? Wanda and Vision?”

“The only person in that group of people I'd call responsible is Pepper”, Peter made clear.

“Fair enough”, Steve shrugged, “but you see, it can work out.” He gestured between himself and Bucky, who was sprawled out over Steve's lap, shooting them two thumbs up.

“Ok, I'm really over this conversation”, Peter decided, since he could feel himself breaking any moment now. “Harley. Would you just go on a damn date with me so they all shut the fuck up?”

“Language!”

“I'm an adult and Morgan's not around, so I can fucking swear however the fuck much I fucking want to”, Peter shot back at his mentor, before turning to his boyfriend. “So, what do you say?”

“Fine, let's get this over with”, Harley rolled his eyes.

“And they say romance is dead”, Tony cooed, then shook his head. “You are both ridiculous.”

*

“I gotta admit, this is pretty nice”, Peter smiled, as Harley pulled back the chair for him. “Thanks.”

“You're absolutely welcome”, he beamed and sat himself right opposite him. “To be honest, the nicest part about this is the Avengers offering to pay, to make up for their meddling.”

“Definitely. I never would have come here otherwise, too scared of the pricetag and the fanciness.”

“So, this isn't a place you'd take your boyfriend to?”, Harley smirked.

“Definitely not”, Peter made clear. “I'll show you another time what I understand under the perfect date.”

“Can't wait.”

As they waited for their seriously overpriced food, Peter took the place in. He and Harley took down the average age by at least twenty years; there was only one more couple that looked to be around their age. How the fuck did Tony get the idea to send them here? With his metabolism, they were definitely going to have to stop by a taco truck or a burger place later, no way he could eat all he needed to here. He also couldn't wait to get out of this damn shirt. May forced it on him, since they obviously needed to look the part, but that tie felt like it was strangling Peter and he was in all honesty scared to move, so the shirt wouldn't crinkle.

“Do you want to get out of here?”, Harley whispered over, as Peter picked around in his salad.

“That would be totally impolite, though”, he hissed back.

“We could fake an emergency”, Harley shrugged. “Can't your spider-senses make something up?”

“That's not how this works”, Peter deadpanned. “Come on, we're doing this for the Avengers, remember?”

“Yeah, you're right. But just looking at you, I want to rip that damn shirt off you, and not for sexy reasons. You look seriously uncomfortable.”

“Lived through worse”, he shrugged. “Other note. Are we publicly dating as of tomorrow?”

“Now, I know the Avengers not as well as you do, but I think that if we were, there'd be an endless tirade of 'we told you so' and a constant need to be involved.”

“Apt assessment”, Peter nodded. “How do we keep that from happening, though?”

“Hm.” They sat in silence while pondering their options. “How about we tell them it went horribly, can't stand each other from now on and they might feel bad enough to leave us alone?”

That could actually work. Only issue... “Will you be able to pretend you can't stand me, even though you perpetually undress me in your mind?”, Peter smirked and got the expected deadpan in return. “Ha, ha.”

“I'm serious”, he continued, “you'll have to constantly suppress your yearning for my body, the admiration for me, my mind and that can't be easy.”

“Trust me, Peter darling, it's getting easier by the second.”

.

Harley: Made it home alright?

Peter: Yup, only had two burgers along the way

Peter: Seriously, that restaurant is nothing for people who are actually hungry

Harley: True that

Harley: I raided the entire snack cabinet here and am now sprawled out on the bed, surrounded by chocolate and cookies *heart eyes*

Peter: Nice!

Harley: Oh yeah. Different note, though. I was obviously anxiously awaited once I got back to the compound

Peter: And?

Harley: I told them that they suck, that you suck, that everything sucks and they very quickly left me alone

Peter: Meaning I can expect Tony to check in any moment now?

Harley: Probably, yeah

.

But there was nobody checking in. No message from Tony, nothing from Tasha, Clint or any of the Avengers. Which meant that they probably bought Harley's attitude, thinking that they somehow really messed up. Good, that's what they wanted to achieve.

There was absolutely no reason to feel so weird about it now. No need to feel weird about lying to his super family. No need to feel weird about going that much out of their way to keep their relationship a secret.

Why did the Avengers push all this so much? Why couldn't they just leave well enough alone, things were wonderful the way they had been! They all knew Peter well enough to be aware that he didn't really care for being the centre of attention, especially vis-a-vis his romantic life. It had been the same damn thing when he came out as bisexual. All of a sudden the Avengers ran around with rainbow-pins and love is love is love-shirts. They showed up at every pride parade, everything that was even slightly LGBTQIA+ themed, the Avengers got involved. Maybe it was a generational thing that they had to show their support in that intense a degree? Because Ned, MJ, Gwen, all the friends his age were a lot more chill about it.

So damn the Avengers' aggressive support, for forcing Peter to keep the guy he loved a secret. And damn the Avengers for making Peter dread seeing his boyfriend again.

*

“Heya kiddo”, Tony greeted Peter when he walked into the compound the next day.

“Morning”, he smiled back, dreadfully nervous what Tony was about to talk about.

“So, how you doing?”

“Freaking fantastic”, he deadpanned. “But I assume you already guessed such a thing.”

“Guilty as charged. You can still talk to me, if you want to.”

“Not really”, Peter shrugged. Tony's arm around his shoulder felt just wrong. Yes, he tried to be reassuring and shit, but he was currently here for Peter, for an issue that was non-existent. Because Peter currently lied to his father figure and boss. So much for keeping it professional...

“If that changes, you can always come to me.”

“Thanks”, he forced a smile, “means the world.”

“Anytime, bud. Only question remaining: can you two be civil?”

“Well, we are talking about the guy, who destroyed a statue out of spite”, Harley remarked, coming up behind them.

“Oh for reals? You're taking JJJ's side?”

“I ain't saying that.” In mock-defence, Harley raised his hands. “Just saying that that wasn't exactly civil, was it?”

“Don't worry”, Peter turned to Tony, “we got this handled.”

“Looks like it”, he gulped, probably making a mental note to get them to different departments.

Not just a mental note, as it turned out, but after lunch break, Harley didn't seem to be working in the chemical engineer's department. That was probably a good thing, given that it was becoming increasingly hard to voice all his snide remarks as if he meant them, and not as the flirty banter that it actually was. Fortunately, Harley seemed to feel the same way; Peter prided himself in knowing his boyfriend well enough to recognize the fights to keep the blush and grins down. Yes, them being separated was definitely a good call.

.

Peter: So, you left me.

Harley: I wouldn't exactly call it leaving, more like being forcibly removed from your general vicinity

Peter: good, it was getting hard to pretend I'm not really into you

Harley: awwww! <3

.

“Hi Pete!” Hunched over his work, Peter didn't notice Morgan until she stood right by his chair, squealing at him.

“Hey Mo”, he grinned back. “What are you doing here?”

“Looking for you. Daddy said you're not really well, so now I want to cheer you up.”

And Peter just melted. “That is so sweet of you! I've got a lot of work to do, though.”

“Can you show me?” There truly was nothing more powerful than Morgan Stark's puppy eyes. How anyone could ever say no to her was a mystery Peter'd probably never solve. “You know, then I can also be an intern.”

“Well, I can't argue with that logic.” While the co-workers he shared an office with were in the lab or on break, there was no reason why Morgan shouldn't be able to join Peter for a while. Besides, even though he wasn't as unwell as everyone thought he was, he could still do with a little distraction. So he motioned for the chair in the corner, and before he knew it, Morgan wheeled it over and sat next to him, looking all expectantly. “Alright, so my big topic is genetics, especially genes that have been changed.”

“You mean like yours?”, Morgan whispered after making sure that nobody was around to hear her.

“For example”, he nodded, “but there are so many reasons why genes are changing and sometimes that's really good, because it helps us to make medicine, but sometimes it's also really bad, because people change things so much that they're no longer what they used to be.”

“You mean like the Green Goblin?”

“Yeah.” Peter hoped to everything that Morgan didn't notice Peter flinching at the memory of his friend becoming his enemy. His friend, that Peter had put behind bars. His life really was fucked up.

“So what are you doing now?”

“All of that”, he gestured at the unholy amount of papers on his desk, “that's all results from tests. And now I get to compare all these numbers and hopefully find a pattern that shows me how certain types of influences change DNA.”

“Wow.” With big eyes she looked over all the data. “That's really a lot of stuff.”

“Yeah, I know. But I luckily got FRIDAY, she's helping me out with the math.”

“That's so nice of you, FRI!”, she beamed.

“Thank you, Morgan. I am happy to help in any way I can”, FRI answered.

“Me too”, Morgan made clear. “So can I help you?”

Well, Peter doubted they taught chemical engineering in primary school. Then again... “You actually can. Look here.” He held a piece of paper out to her. “You see some of the numbers FRI found are already marked. Can you read them out to me, so I can put them in the system?”

“You got it!”

Yes, FRIDAY could just automatically put the numbers down, but Peter couldn't say no to Morgan. Besides, Peter was more than happy about the company and that girl just took Peter's mind off his fucked up romantic life. With them working together, the afternoon just flew by and it was definitely more fun than asking FRI to take care of the numbers.

“Mr Parker, since Ms Stark is not yet eighteen, all employment must be signed off by her legal guardians. I don't remember doing that and since Pepper is in LA at the moment, I think she didn't either.”

The two hard-working engineers turned to find Tony leaning against the door-frame.

“Is that bad?”, Morgan asked, looking up at Peter, who just shrugged.

“Means that he won't pay you for your work. And that he could technically sue me for employing a minor. But I don't think he'll do that”, he smiled at Tony, the sweetest and fakest smile he had in him.

“Don't push your luck, Parker”, Tony grumbled. “Just wanted to know how much longer you're gonna work over-time for.” He nodded towards the clock and only now Peter realized the time.

“Well, me and my associate are on such a roll”, he just grinned back, “in our high of productivity we have forgotten the time.”

“And I'm reminding you of it. I assume you're staying here then?”

Peter just nodded.

“Alright then. Finish up, then wash up and get your butts upstairs. Dinner's ready.”

“We'll be right there”, Morgan promised.

“So, I assume her help was a little limited”, Tony remarked, once Morgan was in bed.

“A bit scared to say this to my boss, but redundant's the word I'd use.”

“Figured”, Tony scoffed. “She's so over the moon though for having been engineering genes, I guess, I might be able to play over it and maybe even appreciate it.”

“Appreciate?” Peter grinned over, “might just make it a regular thing then. It's definitely more fun.”

“Again Parker, might not want to push it.” Putting his arm around Peter, Tony looked down. “Slight change of topic, though. You do not have a choice, we're gonna talk this out now, because today was a nightmare.”

Ugh. Right, get the lying-extravaganza going. “What do you want me to say?”

“I just don't get how it could have gone that disastrous. You two hit it off from the day you met, and it's just...”

“And you're just blaming yourself because you pushed all this?” Peter regretted it the moment he said it. Not because it was a risky thing to say, because yes, Tony and the Avengers definitely regretted it. But because there was nothing to regret; all of this was just a fucking farce. “Ok, fine, it started of sucky, because that restaurant you guys sent us to? Who the fuck had the brilliant idea to invite us to a overly fancy restaurant where I'd never ever could eat enough to feel full? I got two burgers on the way home, because I was so damn hungry.”

“Right, that's on Cap”, Tony made clear, “he said he knew this really nice place, perfect for a first date.”

“How the hell does Steve of all people think he's the authority on date-spots?”

“Yeah, we probably shouldn't have let him take care of that”, Tony admitted.

He didn't push any more questions, but Peter felt the look Tony shot him and the almost desperate need to know what went so wrong.

“It was just awkward, because we didn't really know what to talk about. And then... I don't know. Engineering and you guys connect us, but take that away...”

“So what, now you don't like each other any more?”

Peter just shrugged. What the hell was he supposed to answer to that? Of course he liked Harley, he fucking loved him! “I don't know”, he eventually mumbled. “It's just all so weird.”

“You know, me and Pepper were broken up for a while. And it was so weird, because, well, she's the CEO of my company. Happy all of a sudden was her employee, not mine any more. That was so fucked-up, but we got it in the end. And I'm not saying you and Harley need to end up together and married with a wonderful daughter. But it's gonna go back to normal, I promise that.”

“Yeah?”

“Pete, if the mess that is me can get it sorted, then you can too. And now off to bed you go.”

“Yes dad”, he moaned and couldn't help but grin at the eye-roll.

“Just shut up and get out of here”, Tony made clear and, after a good-night-kiss on the forehead, he motioned for the elevator doors.

“Right then, sleep well.” And with a last wave, Peter disappeared in the elevator

.

Peter: Can you come over?

.

“As if you'd ever have to ask that”, Harley giggled as he slipped into Peter's room.

“Well, since you apparently don't like me anymore...”

“Shut up”, he rolled his eyes, kneeled on the bed and leaned over for a kiss.

“So, I just talked to Tony”, Peter explained once they broke away.

“Uh, that couldn't have been fun...”

“It really wasn't.” He recapped their talk, before sinking back into the cushions. “This sucks so much. I really don't want to lie to them any more, but this has gone so damn far...”

“I know. We don't need to figure it out tonight though, right?”

“We do not”, Peter agreed, and pulled Harley down into the cushions with him and wrapped his arms around his waist. “Now we just get to sleep.” And, with his head resting on Harley's chest, he drifted off into sleep in no time at all.

*

“PETER!”

“NED!”

Peter could have sworn that as he and Ned ran towards each other for the hug that reunited them after almost three months apart, time went into slow motion. Around them everything blurred away; they were no longer on the street but floating somewhere on cloud nine.

“I missed you so much”, Ned sighed, once they were enveloped in a tight hug.

“I missed you, too! And I'm so happy that you're home for a few days.”

“How come you never hug me like that?”, came Harley's grumbled question from somewhere behind Peter.

“Guess he loves me more than you”, Ned giggled as he let go off Peter.

“I shall neither confirm nor deny these accusations”, Peter made clear, held his now free hand out to Harley though.

“I guess that's alright”, Harley shrugged. “I mean, I did know that before we started dating.”

“That's a good boyfriend.” With a giggle, Peter pressed a kiss on Harley's cheek before turning to Ned again. “So, I'd say we'll go and get a coffee and you catch us up on all the MIT gossip.”

“Sounds good to me. So, first things first, Allison and Matt are officially a thing now”, Ned told as they went on their way.

“We gotta tell Tony, maybe he'll finally back off...”

“Back off what?”

“Tony thinks that I'm still sweet on Ali”, Peter explained with a shrug and an eye-roll.

“Aw, come on, that was like what, a year ago?”

“Tried telling him that... But he's capable of moving on, did try to set the two of us up after all.”

“I still don't get why you're not just telling them you're dating”, Ned shook his head. “I mean, clearly neither is embarrassed by being with the other and none of the Avengers are homophobic, they've made that abundantly clear... So what then?”

In all honesty, Peter wasn't so sure any more. All their fights started to gnaw on him, even though none of them were real. Started to feel real, though. Especially since it became easier and easier for them to slip into that animosity. Thanks to which their relationship felt more and more like a chore.

“We got it handled”, Harley eventually made clear.

Right, Harley seemed to had no such worries. Which in turn made Peter really insecure. Was he just too sensible? Was it all just a game for Harley? It couldn't be though, they were in love after all! They were, weren't they?

As hard as he tried, Peter just couldn't enjoy the day with Ned. His and Harley's relationship just hung over every talk, joke or story. And it sucked, majorly. Ned was his best friends for so many years; they had been through High School, the Vulture, Mysterio... And now Peter's bullshit relationship issues stood in the way of their reunion.

“Alright, Dudes, I'm gonna head out, I promised my Nan to come by for tea time.” What? Ned's gran had died two years ago. And the other one lived in Kentucky. “You can swing by tomorrow though, right?”

“Yeah, I can get it arranged”, Peter rolled his eyes as he went for the hug.

“You need to talk. Now”, Ned whispered his reasoning for leaving them be. “Don't fuck it up.”

“Alright”, Peter nodded. “Love you, dude.”

“Love you, too.”

With plenty of waving, Ned walked away and left Harley and Peter sit in the booth by themselves. Boy, this just had all the makings for a disaster. If that's where it headed, though, Peter was not gonna make a scene in a coffee shop. “What do you say, my place?”

“Sounds good to me”, Harley nodded, and before long they were sitting in the car, driving towards Peter's place. The entire ride was uncomfortably quiet, mostly the radio made any sounds. At least until they arrived in front of Peter's apartment building.

“So, you wanna tell me what's bothering you?”

No need to talk around it, Peter just had to get it out. “We kinda are”, he shrugged.

“That sounds... bad”, Harley gulped, glancing over. “What about us is wrong?”

“I feel like I don't really remember why we're not telling anybody about us.”

“Because the Avengers are a bunch of intense meddlers?”

“Yeah, but... I don't know, all that fighting and shit is getting way too easy but that damn pretending is still way to hard and it fucking sucks.”

“Wait, so let me get this straight: It's easier and harder to pretend at the same time?”

How the fuck could Peter make Harley understand his dilemma? “Well, should it be easy to fight with your boyfriend, when you're supposed to be in love?”

“Wait.” Harley turned to Peter. “Are you not in love with me any more?” Along with all the colour, his face dropped and it broke Peter's heart a little bit.

“Of course I am! Do you still love me?”

“How can you even ask me that?” If he didn't look hurt before, he did now.

“Because of what I've just said! If we love each other, do you really think we should keep this from everybody who is like a family to me? To you? If we do love each other, why do we act like we hate one another?”

“Well, I thought that us loving each other was only something to do with the two of us, not with everybody else”, Harley shot back.

“But us loving each other means us fighting, all the time?”

“Yeah, but we don't mean those fights.”

“Then why is it so damn easy for us to slip into that fucking belligerent shit?”, Peter cried out. Shit, he felt himself getting close to tears as all his emotions bubbled to the surface. “And why the absolute fuck doesn't it seem to bother you?”

It was silent in the car, as Harley worked through Peter's issues. “Are you saying what I think you're saying?”, he eventually asked.

“I'm saying that with all that bullshit we're doing, seeing you feels like a fucking chore.” The moment he said it, Peter regretted it. “No wait, that came out so wrong.”

“Oh no, you were perfectly clear”, Harley pressed out between gritted teeth. “And I don't want to overwhelm you with too many duties, Spider-Man, so if you'd please get out of my car right now, you can go and recuperate from me.”

“No, Harley, please, I didn't mean it like...”

“Peter. Get out.” Staring straight out of the window, Harley grabbed the steering wheel so hard, his knuckles turned white.

Without another word, Peter complied. He had barely closed the car door, when Harley drove off. The further Harley drove away, the more the knife stuck inside his chest seemed to turn. Even long after the car vanished in traffic Peter still stood in front of the door, staring in the direction in which the car had disappeared.

Was that it? Did their relationship just end?

As if in trance, Peter walked upstairs into their empty apartment. Right, not even May was here to tell Peter everything was going to be ok and talk him through all these fucking bullshit feelings. He couldn't go to the compound either, since the person he had issues with was living there. And Ned... Well, he had messaged.

.

Ned: Did you talk it out?

Peter: I think we just broke up

.

The moment he hit send, Peter switched off his phone. He wasn't gonna deal with this right now, he was just gonna take his mind of things. Because if he didn't, he was going to break down right here and now and bawl his eyes out until judgement day. Maybe there were a few robbers or such out on the prowl today, letting Peter get rid of all these emotions another way.

So, after barely arriving at home, Peter already climbed back out the window, and swung through the streets of Queens.

“SPIDER-MAN!”

Oh fucking hell. JJJ really was the last person Peter wanted to see or hear right now. He turned to face him, but was instead faced with another Spider-Slayer. And here Peter was, thinking his day couldn't go any worse. The bot that looked positively humanoid wore JJJ's face, probably another one of the mind-controlled ones. Sure, it was only a matter of time until he came for revenge for Peter's destruction of the Jameson statue. But did it have to be now?

“Dude, I'm not in the mood. Can we postpone this? How does next week sound to you?”

“I deserve my revenge, and you will face me”, JJJ made clear, and shot a web at Peter, who dodged it just in time.

“Great”, he rolled his eyes, “here we go then.” And the fight began. The Slayer was, once again, non-stick, shot webs, managed to climb every wall Peter did and had some weird gun out front. Peter had not yet figured out what that thing did, but probably wouldn't have to wait too long to find out. Hopefully he wouldn't feel the effects on himself.

“You can run all you want, Spider-Man”, JJJ yelled, “I will get you and finally rid the city of the horror that you are.”

“If we're talking horrors, might I remind you that only one of us has spent millions of dollars to build a killer machine?”

“Oh believe me”, he made clear, shooting a web that just missed Peter, “the public will be so grateful for this service.”

“Well, I do know a few that would disagree”, Peter shrugged, before jumping over another web coming at him and scaled the walls of the nearest skyscraper. Of course the Slayer was right on his heel.

Once on the roof, Peter and JJJ just circled themselves. “Just to make clear, you can't electrocute that, and dropping a statue on this very robot won't do too much either. You can't stick to it, web it, and sure, go ahead and punch until the metal warps, but it's not gonna do the trick.”

Peter didn't doubt it for a second. What kind of metal Smythe built this thing from was almost as hard as vibranium. To destroy this particular slayer, Peter'd need a lot more force. Well, they always could throw themselves off this roof. It would probably kill both, though. And then JJJ would have what he wanted. So focused on how to best throw the robot off a skyscraper without killing himself in the process, he didn't notice that gun-thingy directed right at him. Unfortunately his way of finding out that this particular gun launched a weird yellowy-greenish goo, was by it hitting Peter in the head. Ugh, it was disgusting! It didn't seem to do too much, though. Which couldn't be right, there was probably a lot of bullshit about to happen, but for now, he had more urgent matters to attend to.

“Dude, this is fucking disgusting! What the fuck is wrong with you?”

“Oh you'll see, Spider-Man”, JJJ laughed, momentarily a bit distracted and with all the rage Peter had to offer, he threw himself at the robot, leaving both of them falling towards the ground. All the rage about what happened with Harley, all the rage about lying, and all the rage he had towards JJJ and his fucking slaying robots provided more than enough strength to properly beat up on that thing as they pummelled towards their death.

“YOU'LL NEVER BREAK ME!”, he cried and let go; webbing himself to the next best wall and that just in time. The slayer didn't get that chance, with a loud crash it landed on the pavement and burst into a million little pieces. There was no need to go down there and check if it was still functioning; the parts were spread out all over the street. “KAREN, tell an ambulance to get here, I don't think anybody's hurt, but just to make sure.”

Peter pulled himself back up on that rooftop, where he just dropped to the ground. He didn't seem to be too hurt; there were probably a bunch of contusions, but not as bad as the last time he came face to face with a Slayer. Peter was pretty sure his head didn't take a hit. But why was he so dizzy now? And why was it getting so damn hard to breathe? Only when Peter reached up to pull off his mask, he remembered the damn glibber.

“K”, he choked, “what is that?”

“It seems to be a gel made mostly of citrus and mint. Get to the compound right away”, she advised and Peter was not gonna argue that. By the time he got to the compound, Peter had about four more bruises; with the world around him blurring more and more it was quite difficult to manoeuvrer the antennas, walls and lamp posts. Hopefully nobody noticed too much of his embarrassing himself. It took the last bit of strength he had left to pull himself up to the penthouse balcony. He was suffocating, Peter was sure he was gonna be dead by the time he got up there. Oh god, this was how he was gonna die. Killed by a fucking mint? The, thanks to the rising panic, adrenaline was the only thing getting Peter to move these last few steps into the penthouse and, more out of it than anything else, Peter stumbled into the living room.

“Pete?” Looking up, Peter saw Harley stand in front of him.

Peter just pulled off his mask, maybe then he could breath, and at least tell Harley that he was sorry, that they could figure all of this out and that he really loved him. All he however got out was a breathy sigh: “Harley, I...”, before he tumbled to the ground and everything went dark.

“Peter? PETER!”, Harley cried out, as he dropped just in front of him. “TONY, HELP!”

Harley had barely called out, when Tony was already by his side. “Shit.” He all but pushed Harley out of the way and heaved Peter up into his arms. “FRI, check KAREN's log. What happened?”

“He fought a Spider-Slayer”, FRI reported as Tony hurried for the medbay, Harley on his heel. “This particular bot sprayed him with a goo that contains citrus and mint gels.”

“Oh fuck”, Tony hissed and picked up the pace.

“What the hell is going on?” Harley gritted his teeth, hard. It was the only thing to keep him from bawling his eyes out. Fuck, what was it with Peter making him cry today? First they sorta kinda break up and now he's gone ahead and killed himself?

“Spiders do not take kindly to citrus fruit or mint. Ever since the bite, making Peter's DNA part that of a spider, he too has a deathly allergy against these.”

“He's gonna be fine”, Tony shot over, though by now he was basically running. “Who's in?”

“Both Dr Cho and Dr Banner are ready to take care of Peter.”

As they hurried through the corridors, Tony and FRIDAY discussed some more logistics, but Harley couldn't concentrate. Damnit, here Peter was, fighting for his life, not even sure about Harley, about their relationship and about how much Harley loved him. Screw the tears, he wasn't gonna fight it any longer, he just needed to come along and make sure that Peter was gonna be alright, so he could tell him how much he loved him.

Then Tony and Peter disappeared through a door, but he was held back from by Bruce. “Harley, I'm sorry, but me and Helen got this sorted, please just wait for now.” With that also Bruce went into the forbidden room, and moments later Tony came back out.

“I can't stay either”, he shrugged, trying to bite down his tears. “Come on.” With his arm around Harley's shoulder, he all but pushed him to the nearest bench.

“Why didn't he just call you, you'd have gotten him help faster! Or why doesn't he have an epipen?”

“Because of his metabolism. He burns through any kind of medication faster than fire through a barrel of petrol.”

“What happened?” Nat and Clint ran into the waiting room.

“Wow, gossip spreads fast in here”, Tony remarked a lot more deadpan than he currently was. “Allergic reaction, thanks to JJJ.”

“Shit.”

They all dropped into various corners of the waiting room and soon enough the room was chuck full with Avengers.

And it all killed Harley; it felt like he was being torn apart. He couldn't sit still, there had to be something that he could do, just something, anything!

“Harley, kid, it's gonna be ok”, Tony assured him.

“You don't know that!”, he hissed back, not pulling his eyes away from the door separating him from Peter. “You don't know if he'll ever be ok, and the last thing we ever did was fight and break up and I don't... I can't...”

“Break up? Did you two start dating after all?”

“Please”, Harley scoffed, “we've been dating before we've come to New York in the first place.”

“Excuse me, what now?”

Oh for fuck's sake, Harley really had bigger issues right now. “We've been sleeping with each other for months and now drop it, or I'll go into details.” And that shut them up. Being affronting like that probably wasn't a good idea, but Harley couldn't give two fucks about them right now.

Well, now they knew. Might as well now that they were broken up. But Harley didn't want to be broken up with Peter! He was so in love with that guy, it was almost ridiculous. And every time Peter said that he loved Harley, it just did indescribably things to his heart and his soul (if he had one of those). And yes, maybe Peter was right, they got so lost in keeping everything secret that they forgot what their relationship was supposed to be about.

Peter was going to wake up again, he just had to. And then they'd get this sorted and be a couple and really in love again and everything was going to be alright.

*

The first thing Peter realized was some people talking. It was all very foggy, and the little he could make out did not make a lot of sense. There were probably quite a few people around, judging from the number of voices and the unbearable noise level.

“...Needs sleep... out of his system... swelling is down...” Peter wasn't even sure if it was all the same person talking.

As he came to a little more, he realized his hand being held. Unlike the talking, that was actually really nice. The calloused fingers that stroked his hands definitely were not May's. Maybe Tony? Or Harley?

“Can you please be quiet?” That was definitely Harley's voice and he sounded very pissed off. “You're gonna wake him.” Yeah, Peter was more and more convinced it was Harley's hand that now moved to brush some hair out of his face. Oh, that felt just wonderful.

“Sorry, kid.” That was Tony.

Peter was dying to find out who was in that room, but if he opened his eyes now, which by now felt like a doable possibility, everyone would crowd him, and Peter didn't even remember why they all were here. So, until he was sure what exactly had happened that had put him in what was probably the medbay, he was gonna keep his eyes closed and pretend he was asleep.

There was a lot of talk about lemon and mint and allergic reaction and many not kind words towards JJJ. Piece by piece it started to come back to Peter: him and Harley fighting; going on patrol and fighting the fucking Slayer; the weird goo, the bot doused him with; fighting to make it to the compound; Harley's face falling into pure horror before everything around Peter went dark as even the last bit of air was sucked from his lungs.

“Boss, May Parker is calling”, FRI interrupted the last round of cursing out JJJ.

“Oh shit”, Tony sighed. “Put her through, please.”

Oh no, Peter didn't want to hear that. “Tony, what happened?”

“Hello May”, Bruce answered, “Peter's in the medbay, allergic reaction, but it's alright now. He's asleep and all vital signs are as they should be.”

“How did this happen?” Shit, May sounded really tense, like she was close to tears.

“Spider-Slayer”, Tony admitted.

“ANOTHER? Tony, I can't believe that this keeps on happening over and over and there's nothing you can do about it? How in the hell can you...”

“For fuck's sake”, Harley yelled, “take these damn fights elsewhere, 'cause it's the last thing Peter needs when he wakes up.”

Peter could just swoon, it was incredible how Harley looked out for him.

“Maybe we should just leave you two alone”, Happy suggested.

“Maybe you should”, Harley shot back and Peter didn't want to be on the receiving end of that icy voice.

“FRI, put the call through to my phone”, Tony asked and everybody present walked out and with them the exhausting tension that even Peter felt.

“Ugh”, Harley sighed.

“Tell me about it”, Peter chuckled and glanced through half-open eyes.

“What the...”, Harley startled and all but jumped out of his chair. “How long have you been awake them?”

“Quite a while”, he admitted, fighting to open his eyes, which was quite the challenge, especially since every light in the room seemed to be on full brightness. “Didn't want to deal with all them.”

“I get that. How are you feeling? You need anything?”

“I need to tell you that I love you”, he smiled, “and that I don't want to break up with you.”

“I love you too”, Harley beamed and leaned over to kiss him. “And we're not breaking up, no, definitely not.”

“Good”, Peter sighed once Harley leaned back. “And now please, turn down the lights and any chance I could get a glass of water?”

“You idiot”, Harley groaned, “don't you think you being uncomfortable tops us having a fight?” Of course he complied, not without shaking his head, of course not. After helping Peter to sit up, he handed him a glass of water. “Pretty sure there's a bunch of jell-o somewhere.”

“You really know how to treat a guy”, Peter giggled.

“I know my man”, Harley just shrugged back, before grinning. “I should probably tell you that I might have told all them”, he gestured towards the door, “about us.”

“Oh.” Peter wasn't exactly sure what to do with that.

“Yeah, wasn't exactly planned, I might have been a little stressed with you passing out right in front of me and may have blurted out something along the lines of us having been doing it for months or so”, he admitted as a contrite blush spread over his face.

“This is so you”, Peter giggled, once Harley's confession sunk in. “Well, guess then there's no danger in asking you to come and make yourself comfortable.” He scooted over just enough so Harley could get up on the bed next to Peter. “But no shoes in my bed.”

“Yes sir”, he grinned and soon enough, they were snuggled on the bed and Peter was safely enveloped in Harley's arms.

“Oh, uhm, by the way, please FRI, could you send a message to Ned, telling him that everything's alright again and that me and Harley are very much in love.”

“Message is sent.”

“Thanks”, Peter smiled and fell back against Harley.

“What was that about?”

“Ned asked if we talked it out, told him that we might have kinda broken up instead and well, you know the rest...”

“Oh. Well, then I'm happy we are very much in love”, he beamed and kissed Peter's cheek.

“Yeah, me too.” Even if he wanted to, Peter could do nothing against the dopey, lovestruck grin.

A soft knock interrupted the dopey eye-making and lovestruck smiles. “Can I come in?”, Tony asked.

“Sure thing”, Peter answered.

“Pete! You're up!”, he exclaimed as he burst inside, stopping immediately dead in his tracks as he saw the two cuddling on the bed. “You weren't kidding about you being...”

“A couple?”

“In love?”

“Yeah, those things...” A lot more careful, Tony walked over and sat himself next to Peter. “How are you feeling?”

“Like I'll live.”

“Good. Your aunt made very clear that she'll first kill you and then me if you were to end up dead.”

“She didn't sound too happy on the phone”, Peter shrugged, before he thought it through.

It was pure exasperation the way Tony's face fell when he realized Peter had been awake a for a longer while than anyone had known. “She is on her way here”, he explained, playing over the other rest.

“Figured. You can tell everybody who's out there that they can come on in, too. Wait, let me guess first: it's Nat, Clint, Happy, Bruce, Steve, Bucky and Wanda.”

“How the absolute fuck do you know that?”, Harley asked in astonishment.

“Fucking spider-hearing”, Tony shook his head. “FRI, tell 'em to come on in.”

Thank the heavens for Harley. Being in his arms seemed to equal wearing full armour with guards all around – everybody kept a shocked and slightly amused distance.

“So, wanna tell us about how all that”, Bucky gestured between Harley and Peter, “came to being?”

As well as he was feeling, the sedatives and shit Bruce pumped through Peter's veins still had him feel foggy enough that he was happy to let Harley handle that. “Well, we met at MIT, I asked Peter out and we've had quite a lot of fun”, he grinned and from the corner of his eyes, Peter just saw Tony shuddering. “Anyways, since we weren't serious or anything, neither seemed to find it too important to shock the other with the family-like relationship we have with Ironman or, in some cases, about some spider-themed enhancements. Imagine our surprise, when invited to Stark dinner, because there's this other intern I just have to meet, and it's my boyfriend. Right, because by then we had made it official. Actually on our drive here to New York”, he added, and Peter couldn't help but smile at their story.

“And why didn't you just say that you two were a couple?”

“Because you guys are seriously exhausting”, Peter threw in. “We had just gotten together, still hadn't figured shit out and that distance just was necessary.”

“And it went great”, Harley continued the story. “Until you guys decided to set us up.”

“Again”, Nat threw in, “perfect opportunity to tell us about all this here.”

“And listen to 'we told you so' for the next fifty years? No thank you.”

“One thing wasn't a lie. Steve, that restaurant was horrible and made this whole thing so uncomfortable...”

“Sorry, kids”, he apologized as he turned beet-red.

“In summary, as you can see, whenever you guys got involved, things kinda went a little mixed up. But we know that lying wasn't the way to go either, so we're really sorry.”

“Don't sweat it”, Wanda smiled and patted Peter's leg, “there are enough spies in this room to get the whole secrecy thing. And we're sorry for pushing something we should have left alone.”

“Worked out pretty nicely in the end, didn't it?” Peter looked up to find Harley grinning down on him.

“Yeah, I'd say so”, he grinned back and stretched just enough for their lips to meet.

“Aw, you're so adorable”, Clint cooed, when Peter broke away, and snuggled himself back against Harley.

“Oh, you got no idea...”

The afternoon went by with plenty of visits, cooing, doting over Peter and more 'how are you's' than he could count, especially once May arrived. Thankfully, he had Harley beside him the entire time.

It was early evening, when the door flew open. “Mummy said I can come visit now!”, Morgan squealed and, without making sure she wouldn't squash Peter or Harley, she climbed on the bed, ending up somewhere on both their laps. “Harley, you can go, I can cuddle him now”, she made clear and expectantly looked at him.

“But I was here first”, he shot back, making no move to leave. He instead held a little tighter onto Peter.

“Yeah, because I wasn't allowed to come!”

“Honey, how about you...”

“No”, she interrupted Peter, “you only get healthy, I'll deal with the rest.”

“Alright then”, he nodded, biting down hard not to do like the assembled Avengers and Aunt May and burst out laughing.

“I love him more than you do”, Harley made clear, and if you had shot Gerald the Alpaca (yes, that was indeed his proper name and Morgan made sure that everybody always addressed him as such) Morgan could not have looked more enraged.

“You don't”, she made clear, “because I love him the most.”

“No, you don't!”

“Yes, I do!”

As Morgan and Harley continued their bickering Peter just turned to Pepper. “Hi.”

“Hey Pete. I can have either of them forcibly removed, if you need them to.”

“You know, as long as they argue about me and not with me, I can deal with it.”

“Right then”, she laughed. “I'm happy for you and Harley though. And, seeing you two like this explains why Tony is sitting upstairs, staring at the wall, repeating “not my innocent little Pete!” over and over again.”

It was true, Tony had kept his distance ever since Peter had woken up and had disappeared quite a while ago.

“He does know I'm no longer sixteen, right?”, Peter rolled his eyes.

“Not so sure”, Pepper admitted. “I think he's gonna learn that lesson one way or another now.”

“It's his fault, though”, Peter made clear, nudging Harley in the side. He was way to occupied to discuss with Morgan who was allowed to cuddle Peter now and barely nudged him back. “He apparently broke the news to everybody by telling them we've been... You know... for the last few months.” Sure, Morgan wasn't paying attention to what Peter was saying, but still. He wasn't going to talk about sex in front of his little sister.

“At least that doesn't leave any room for misunderstandings.”

“Good point”, he grinned.

“Right, this is leading nowhere.” With an exasperated sigh, Harley turned to Peter. “So. Which of us do you love more?”

If he got doused by another ounce of that lemony-glibber-shit, he wouldn't have to deal with this right now... But nobody in here was going to let him shock himself into anaphylaxis again, so he had no choice but to settle this. “I love you both. And, oh! Would you look at that, I've got two arms. One for Harley and one for Morgan. How does that sound?”

“Fine”, they agreed, albeit begrudgingly, and with a very uncomfortable and hurtful process, Morgan climbed over Peter and on his free side. “You still love me more than him, right?”, she whispered into his ear, once comfortably settled.

“Of course, but I can't tell him that. You know what Harley's like when he feels offended.”

“Yeah, he's such a drama queen...”

“He can hear you, you know?”, Harley deadpanned. “And there is a definite reason why Peter loves me more than you, because there's one thing he does with me he cannot do with you.”

What the FUCK? Trying to shoot Harley his best death glare, Peter turned to his boyfriend. He wasn't really going to cite them making out or sleeping together as the reason he was more loved, was he? Not to an eight-year-old!

“Because Peter likes to go on date-nights with me”, he grinned victoriously, and all the anxiety about having to explain his sex-life to a third-grader evaporated, as he sank against Harley's chest. “What did you think I was gonna talk about?”, he murmured into Peter's ear, leaving him unfortunately quite flushed.

“Ew!”, Morgan pulled a face, “date-night is so gross, though!”

“Harley is the one person date-night is really nice with, actually”, Peter shrugged.

“Really? Can I go on date-night with Harley, too then?”

“Nuh-uh-uh”, Peter made clear. “Only I can go on date-night with Harley.”

“That's ok”, Morgan shrugged, “boys are stupid anyways.”

“Believe me, I know”, Harley rolled his eyes.

“Hey!”, Peter moaned, whether at Morgan or Harley, he wasn't quite sure. Probably both of them.

“Sorry”, they answered in unison. “Here, let me make it up to you.” Harley reached for some place next to the bed and fished out a container of jell-o. “You forgive me now?”

“Not so sure...” Critically, Peter inspected the label of this lemon-flavoured jelly, before shoving it in Harley's face. “Didn't really think this one through, did ya?” He didn't even give Harley the chance to react, he put the cup back into Harley's hand, untangled his arm from behind his back and put it around Morgan. “I think you really do love me more.”

“Told you”, she chirped.

“I love you, too”, Harley tried to make it up to Peter.

As much as his entire being lit up at the sound of these fantastic words, he did his all to play it cool. “You did also just try to kill me.”

“That was an honest mistake”, he defended himself.

Morgan and Peter just exchanged a few looks. “Nah, I still love Petey more than you do”, she eventually made clear.

This was so incredible. Only a few years ago, Peter couldn't have imagined the running gag being people fighting over who loved him more! Being literally hunted down by a glorified asshole like JJJ didn't even bother Peter anymore; here wrapped up in Harley and Morgan's arms, there was no safer place on this planet. Safe enough to eventually close his eyes and let sleep take him.

When Peter opened his eyes again, everything around him was dark. It had to be late at night, the moon did shine through the window, illuminating what was quite the adorable scene: On his left was Harley, mouth wide open as he snored and there might even be a bit of drool there. On his other side was Morgan, snuggled and clinging against Peter's side as if she were a spider monkey.

“We tried to get her to bed”, came Tony's voice from the corner, “wouldn't let go though.”

“What the fuck, you can't just scare me like this”, Peter made clear.

“Says the guy who staggered into my house and collapsed in the living room.”

“Fair enough”, he grinned. “So what, making sure nothing fishy's going on when me and Harley share a bed?”

“I wasn't. And until now I wasn't even thinking that”, Tony groaned.

“I'm sorry we didn't tell you.”

“In a weird, fucked-up way I get it. Still gonna take me a while to get used to it.”

“Well, lucky for you, me and Harley are going to be around for another two months, granting more than enough chances for you to witness our adorableness and get used to us.”

“That I fear”, Tony grumbled. “I still can't believe that you're seriously growing up... At least from what Harley mentioned yesterday, I figure I don't need to have the birds and bees talk with you.”

“Pepper might have mentioned something about your crisis about your 'innocent little Pete' growing up... You do realize I'm not sixteen any more, right?”

“Yes, I am painfully aware of that. But I don't need to worry about you sleeping with your boyfriend, I need to worry about you getting better. And no matter how old you are, I'll still tell you when to go to bed, and oh, would you look at that? It's 2am. Sleep now.”

“You need sleep too.”

“I'll sleep as soon as you're sleeping again. So, close your eyes so I can get some sleep.” “Yes, sir”, Peter chuckled and snuggled a little more into his cushions. “I love you.”

“I love you, too, kid.”

[shadedrose01]

La Vie en Rose

Ship: Parkner (Harley Keener/Peter Parker)

Summary: Parkner, but with The Batchelor, because I said so

Tags: Febufluff, Day 13, bouquet of roses, Roses, the bachelor - Freeform, Harley is the The Bachelor, And Peter is a contestant, Bisexual Harley Keener, I love how thats not even a real tag LMAO, Bisexual Peter Parker, Love at First Sight, First Impressions, Good first impressions, First Impressions Rose, Fluff, Why Did I Write This?, The Author Regrets Everything, Boys In Love, Happily Ever After

Day 13 of Febufluff: "Bouquet of Roses"

Author Note: I'm considering writing a Flower Shop AU as an extra fic for this day if I have time. If that's something you guys want to see, let me know! :)))

--

Harley doesnt know why he decided to do this stupid show. He huffs in annoyance as his appointed hair stylist starts playing with his hair again, like the first twenty times she had done it wasn't good enough, trying not to duck away from her hands. Because that would be considered rude, seeing as he chose to be here.

On set. Surrounded by cameras. On the Batchelor, of all shows. Really, why couldn't he have signed up for Survivor, or Big Brother, or something? Why did he have to choose the one where he had to dress up, and put on an act? Why did he have to choose the show about love?

Because he's a hopeless romantic who's been alone for way too long and is started to become extremely desperate? Because he just wants to find the one for him without going through another thousand assholes and heartbreaks? Because he's just trying so hard for people who don't even want him?

His face scrunches up as he glares at the bouquet of roses placed beside him, something he's supposed to give to someone who makes the best first impression or something, ignoring the team around him as they pick at his clothing just it's just right, perfect for the cameras, perfect for his suitors, who are going to be walking through those doors right in front of him in about 2 minutes and give him plastic smile, fake personalities just as he is going to give to them. Because they dont want the real Harley, the nerdy, clumsy guy who stumbles over his words and rambles about the things that he likes, who's normally an introvert and adores his days staying indoors with a good book and a movie, oh no no no. These people, they want the image of Harley Keener, the rich, strong, tall, perfect man who could do no wrong, and who is always romantic, always outgoing, always on.

God, why is he doing this? Why did he decide to do this? He's never going to find anyone real on here, and he's just going to get his heartbroken again, and make a fool of himself, this time it'll just be on live television for everyone in the world to see-

The producers start to count down, and the red light starts to flicker on the cameras, so Harley's plasters on a big, handsome smile, even if he has a sinking feeling in his stomach.

The first person out is a nice woman named Macy. She's pretty, kind and soft spoken, but her smile doesnt reach her eyes, and those very same eyes flicker over Harleys body way too many times as they talk, that when she finally walks away, Barley feels a little frazzled. A little objectified. He feels like he should get used to that.

After that, there's a man named Bryan and another woman named Suzie. They were  both nice people, and both easy on the eyes, but still, there wasn't a connection to either of them, they weren't what Harley was looking for. He didnt know what he was looking for, really, but it wasn't them. At least, Harley didnt know, until another man steps out after Suzie steps away.

Harley looks up, planning to plant another painful grin on to his face until he freezes, his heart stopping in his chest. Woah. His chestnut hair is slicked back, with one stray curl falling into his chocolate brown bambi looking eyes, wide and full of glee and a trace of hope, a wide smile on his face pushing up his thinner lips and lightly freckled cheeks, shining with the faintest hint of makeup. His jaw is so chiseled, and his shoulders are broad, and holy moley Harley cant breathe. He feels weak in the knees, staring at what has to be a Greek God, ethereal in his beauty, and completely missing whatever he just said.

Harley blinks down at him (he's shorter than Harley by a few inches, just his Harley likes it, god is he perfect?), knowing hes gaping at the man who's now staring back at him with a flicker of amusement in his eye, like he knew Harley didnt hear a word he just said. "Uh, I'm sorry, can you repeat that?"

Peter's grin widens, like he confirms his suspicions, and holds out his hand again. "I said," he emphases teasingly, his gorgeous, twinkling eyes full of mirth. "my name is Peter Parker. Nice to meet you."

Harley shakes himself out of his stupor, and shakes the man's hand firmly, confidently. "Harley Keener."

The twinkle in Peter's eye grows. "I know."

'Of course he would know, you're the batchelor, dipshit.' Harley berates himself, wincing a little externally, taking a deep breath and smiling sheepishly, trying to pull himself back together. "Sorry. I'm not normally like this, uh." 'Dont start rambling, dont start rambling,' "What are some things I should know about you?" Harley flinches again at the terrible wording of the phrase he was told to say, but Peter just laughs lightly, apparently taking it all in stride.

"Well," his voice is so soft and silky, and Harley is gone for him, oh no, this is so bad- "I'm 23," 'so we're the same age, that's good, cross that off the list,' "I have a bachelor of Biochemistry at MIT, and going for my Masters soon." 'smart, intelligence is sexy, another checkmark there,', "I'm a dog person, but I love all kinds of animals," 'I've always wanted a dog, check', "and I love going out, but I also enjoy indoor time, just relaxing and doing nothing." 'Check, check, and check, perfect, he's actually perfect, I don't understand, what the heck-'

"What about you?" Peter breaks through his box, still grinning that stunning, toothy grin of his, and normally, Harley would lie, say hes an outgoing guy that loves to go out on the town, say that he loves to go out on dates and go out to parties, anything to sweep them off their feet. But he doesnt want to do that with Peter, doesnt feel like he has to with Peter, so he blurts out the truth before he can think.

"Pretty much everything you said." He chuckles awkwardly, partially dropping his act as he rubs at the back of his neck. "I'm also 23, got a bachelor's in Engineering, work full time, I love animals too, and always wanted to have a dog." Peter's grin softens, turning into a warm smile as he listens that has Harley's heart warbling, making him relax even more. "I love movie days, and am pretty much a really big nerd."

Peter brights at that. "Me too! What's your favorite movie?"

Harley ponders on that for a second, while simultaneously wondering how he's gotten this lucky, 'this stupid show is actually working?' "Probably Indiana Jones, though Star Wars comes in a close second."

"Dude, I love Star Wars! Oh," Peter looks cheeky, his eyes wide and shining with excitement. "Harrison Ford fan?"

Harley can't help but to smile back, Peter's radiating positive energy infectious. "You bet. One of the best actors of our time. Who's your favorite character??"

They keep talking for a while, longer than he normally gets with the contestants, before the crew is ushering Peter away, needing to make time for the others in their busy schedule, and Harley looks over his shoulder, staring after him with warmth unfurling in his chest.

Later that night, everyone gathers together in a large room, cameras still surrounding them, for the Rose Ceremony. Instead of being nervous, uncomfortable and bitter like he was earlier, Harley is stood with his back straight and his head held up high, holding onto the bouquet of roses tightly, knowing exactly who he's going to give them to. Even as Harley meet more and more people, there was only one person that stuck into his mind like glue, filling his almost every thought.

Chris Harrison explains what will happen in the rose ceremony, how it works to the audience, before the cameras pan on to him, expectant and waiting.

Harley takes a deep breath, knowing hes probably going to get some shit for this, but deciding he doesnt really care all that much. "You are all amazing, wonderful people who made good impressions on me. But there was only one person that made me feel relaxed, like I could be myself, and that stuck in my mind for the rest of the night. So, Peter Parker, I give you the First Impressions Rose."

Peter's face lights up as he makes his way to the front, ignore the grumbled or disgusted looks coming from the other contestants, his eyes full of shock, like he didnt expect to get it, and so much gratitude it practically knocks Harley off his feet. Peter gently takes the flowers with a small, quiet "Thank you," his gaze giving away every emotion that his words can't.

"Of course," Harley murmurs back, pressing a quick kiss to his cheek before he turns away again, grinning as he sees the crew start to panic from behind the cameras. Peter flushes so prettily, giving him one last, soft, beautiful smile before turning and walking back to his spot, joy radiating off of him in waves.

Harley just watches him gently, his entire face soft, before he wipes the expression away and goes back to the regularly scheduled program, getting ready to pass out the other roses. But even as he does, he feels Peter's gaze on him, following his every movement, and feels giddy, hopeful, finally feeling like something good is going  to come out of this.

Harley doesn't know it yet, but he ends up proposing to Peter in the finale. They get married a few months later, and go on to become the longest lasting couples in the show's history.

[themculibrary]

Autumn/Fall Masterlist

7 Times Peter Starts To Realize He Has A Family + 1 Time He Knows He Does (ao3) - JAWorley pepper/tony G, 46k

Summary: Peter knows he had been lucky to get to hang around with Mr. Stark before the blip… lucky to have a mentor to look after him, to patch him up after a rough night out as Spider Man, and to get him out of trouble at the foster home if he stayed out too late. After the blip, Peter is starting to realize just how lucky he is… because it’s no longer just Mr. Stark. Now he has a daughter, and a wife, and he could choose to just forget about Peter… leave him to his own devices, but the Starks seem intent on including Peter in activities like fall photos, trips to the pumpkin patch, and movie nights at their cabin. Whenever Peter leaves, he misses them. He misses home. A fic for Cozytober2023. OR A love letter to fall, to the fandom, and to families. Unapologetic fluff and family feels.

An A-maze-ing Afternoon Together (ao3) - Politzania tony/stephen G, 451

Summary: Tony talks Stephen into heading upstate to explore a corn maze.

Baking (ao3) - MantaI305ApollosChariot wanda/vision G, 500

Summary: It’s close to Halloween, and a fugitive Wanda makes themed treats for her fellow teammates with Vision, who comes to visit.

Takes place post-Civil War and pre-Infinity War.

Chocolate In Return For Help (ao3) - endlesstwanted clint/darcy G, 100

Summary: Darcy’s been longing for her Fall’s habits.

Haystacked Against the Odds (ao3) - secretsauces T, 2k

Summary: While desperate at a fall celebration with Ned, Peter has no choice but to turn to unconventional means of relieving himself, but does it really matter when no one can tell the difference?

if i can't be close to you (i'll settle for the ghost of you) (ao3) - theyarenotfree steve/bucky T, 6k

Summary: Steve is pretty sure he’s being haunted by his dead best friend.

It Started with a Text (ao3) - VelvetSky darcy/steve M, 41k

Summary: Set about five or six months after the events of the first Avengers movie, Steve gets his first cell phone and starts talking to someone who texted him looking for the previous owner of his new phone number.

kill the lights and kiss my eyes (ao3) - puchuupoet bucky/clint M, 5k

Summary: Clint's broken and stuck inside for awhile, which means he's perfectly trapped for babysitting duties. The silver lining: no diapers involved. The downside, he's still ridiculously out of his element.

Knit and Purl (ao3) - Six2VII sam/bucky G, 5k

Summary: Bucky has recently retired and joined a knitting circle.

march of the pumpkins (ao3) - silentwalrus steve/bucky G, 2k

Summary: Halloween in Brooklyn, bog witch style.

now is nowhere except underfoot (ao3) - twistedingenue clint/darcy G, 3k

Summary: Clint isn't in the habit of turning down assignments, and especially ones that are actually vacations in disguise, but he's willing to make an exception. But Coulson merely tilts his head and blandly smiles, sure signs that Clint is never going to win this one.

Clint escorts Darcy Lewis home to work, inadvertently fakes being her boyfriend and learns another medieval weapon.

that's why i love fall (ao3) - Skyler10 carol/daisy, phil/melinda, leo/jemma G, 7k

Summary: Carol is a park ranger in a growing mountain town. Daisy is a cybersecurity city girl in town for a job interview at the town’s biotech lab. Under the autumn leaves, fate brings them together (aided by Daisy’s parents, Phil and Melinda). As sweet as a PSL and with as much plot as apple pie.

The Scarlet Witch Episode 8: Legacies (SERIES FINALE) (ao3) - Amonymous__728 T, 12k

Summary: Wanda and her allies go toe to toe with their most formidable foe to date.

The sound and the colors of Leaves (ao3) - 42donotpanic G, 2k

Summary: Matt and Clint bond over their mutual love for fall and leaves and their disabilities.

when the light is sweet & heavy (ao3) - volantium harley/peter G, 3k

Summary: The season turns into October, when the light is sweet and heavy. Orange leaves are carried to their final resting along the breeze. It is the month for resurrection, to cast off the year as it approaches winter, to begin anew without consequence. Without fail, Harley finds himself dreading the possibility of it all over again.

He's never really been one for Halloween.

[yellow-r-o-s-e]

LAOFT Christmas headcanons

I’m lucky enough to have an awesome supportive family who makes me actually enjoy the holidays and now I’m going to project then onto LAOFT because Vi asked for headcanons and also because I’m having kind of a rough winter so this makes me focus on all the good on my life which makes me feel better:

For @tulipscomeinallsortsofcolors ‘s au

It’s really impractical for Linda to try and buy gifts for all 4 of her dads so they start the gift exchange fairly early on. All five of them pick names out of a hat on black friday (shopping on black friday is not something that they’ve ever done, it’s always just Thanksgiving leftovers and/or putting up decorations much to Lagan’s fake annoyance because “it’s still November”) and they each only have to get gifts for the person whose name they draw. So Linda only has to make one gift and she always puts dozens of hours into it over the course of the entire winter.

Linda once teamed up with Brian to record him reading some of Roman’s favorite stories out loud and then she designed and drew a cover for the CD, she once spent a month putting together an entire tea garden for Logan when she was really little (and he did an amazing job of pretending to be surprised for someone who can’t lie, then again, his absolute joy was completely genuine), she made an entire homemade jacket for Virgil (May and Roman taught her how to sew over the course of that winter), she tried to get Patton a dog one time but her other dads wouldn’t let her so instead she decided to write a song for him (it sounded like it was written by a 9-year-old because it was but Patton cried and loved it so so much)

The dad squad each also get really nice presents for each other, although Linda’s gift is the coveted one (they always fight for who gets to give her a present and a lot of the time she mysteriously gets 4 presents somehow). Also everyone not chosen by Virgil mysteriously gets gifts “from Santa Clause” because “you can’t prove it was from me” or at least “please don’t try to prove it was from me” because this boy doesn’t ever stop being extra

Because Thomas Sanders is actually Christian I’m just going to say that the Sanders family is also the most traditionally Christian in this and project my family’s religion specific traditions onto them

So when Thomas was little he started the tradition where on Christmas day, instead of praying before they eat, the entire family just sings the happy birthday song to Jesus. They also had a tradition of a Christmas nativity play that was usually organized by Thomas and was always a disaster in a good way. It was just kind of:

Thomas: ring ring

Logan: *holds up fake phone* hello?

Thomas: Hello I’m the angel of the lord and he told me to call you

Logan: that’s not the line

Thomas: yes, and!

Logan: I cannot physically lie

Thomas: yes, and the reasons you cannot lie is because you are Mary and God made you without sin

Logan: wait I thought I was playing Joseph?

Thomas: you were, now you’re Mary

Logan: No?

Thomas: yes, and!

Logan: why?

Thomas: because I’m the director!

Larry: wait can I be baby Jesus then?

Logan: dad, you’re always baby Jesus, it’s Momma’s turn

Dot: I’m totally okay with him being baby Jesus again, I can be Joseph

And it’s largely entertaining for everyone involved, especially when they add more people

Nowadays it’s put together by Brian, who usually just plays the narrator and is an actual good storyteller and features Linda who’s incredibly stubborn and later also Percy who’s even more stubborn so it’s just a mess in the best way possible, and you can bet Thomas and Harley and May and the husband squad are recording the entire thing

Thomas: “For hysterical purposes”

Logan: “You mean historical purposes?”

Thomas: “I know what I said”

They make so many Christmas cookies throughout the season, Linda and Patton especially bond over it, and at first she loves to make sugar cookies the best because then she gets to decorate them with frosting and it’s like art but as time goes on her favorite cookies are Kourabiedes (yes that’s really specific but just look them up, if you’ve never had then I’m sorry for your loss) and she gets powdered sugar Everywhere while making them

A tradition started from Patton’s side of the family: Every year when they cut down a tree, they also cut down a little circle of stem from the bottom (so you just get a thin little circle of wood) and then decorate it with Sharpies, making sure to write the year somewhere on it, and then they attach a little hook to it and hang it on the tree as an ornament. So they have a little piece of every tree they’re ever had hanging up.

Thomas and Harley make eggnog for all the little cousins and it’s super unhealthy and they don’t care

Roman teaches Linda to make “fancy hot chocolate” which contains the amount of hot chocolate mix you’re supposed to add, is made with cream instead of milk, and also contains melted white chocolate, chocolate syrup, nutella, m&ms, whipped cream and sparkly sprinkles on top, and whatever else is in the house thrown in

Patton: Roman, sweety, I love you but you might actually die if you keep drinking that

Roman: yes but what a way to go

Virgil: Roman, we’re right in front of Linda-

Linda, slurping from her own mug: I look death in the eye and laugh

Virgil: you know what, never mind, I can’t stop either one of you

If you haven’t already guessed Roman is the one who starts singing Christmas carols and stringing up lights the first day of November and Patton and Thomas encourage him

Also, newer tradition started by Linda, December 26th is family board game day. This is because

1. She gets new games on Christmas a lot of the time so of course she wants to actually be able t try them out as soon as possible

2. She really likes board games where she can beat her dads and she cackles when she does and it’s actually really cute somehow

3. She always craves attention and this is a way to ensure that all four of her dads are paying attention to her at once and extend the attention she gets on Christmas day

4. Christmas is fun but it’s also easy to get “peopled out” so it’s really nice to just have a day of staying inside and confining social interactions to the immediate family

It doesn’t have to just be board games, they can play with other toys, video games, etc. but the Official Sacred Rules made by Linda dictate that everyone must do something fun that involves Christmas toys and give Linda affection. Patton, Logan, Roman, and May when she’s available are happy to comply. Virgil does his best to be available (it can be hard to get two days in a row off of court duties but Belladonna would die for Linda and does everything she can to let Virgil be home)

The few times Virgil wasn’t home Linda at least made him bring a deck of cards and called him via magic mirror to play games with him throughout the day

[in-a-cave-with]

do you have any fics to recc that arent stevetony? you have the beeeest taste ilu

apparently all my comics fic bookmarks are stevetony but also all my non comic marvel fic bookmarks AREN’T stevetony so that’s just. kind of weird. also a lot of these are irondad . also i added some fics that aren’t in my bookmarks which mean this post is going to be gigantic

for good by Madelinedear"Sorry, May, we can't all be best friends with a celebrity.”May opens her mouth to retort reflexively, the words 'we aren’t even friends' on the tip of her tongue before she closes her mouth. Because they are friends, now. They’re way past that point.Oh my god, she thinks somewhat hysterically. Tony Stark is my best friend.(or; Tony Stark, May Parker, and the road to something like friendship)rec note: this is THE marvel fic. THE fic i tell you,,,.

chocolate chip cookies (alternate words for i love you) by hopeless_hopeBeing a superhero, Tony has come to expect a lot of things. He can’t really afford to be surprised by too much; being flexible is just part of the job. Aliens attacking New York? Sure. People threatening to attack his home? Not uncommon. A teenage spider-kid baking cookies in his kitchen at almost three in the morning? Completely unexpected.rec note: PETER MAKING COOKIES NEVER MADE ME CRY SO HARD

the spider-man conspiracy by tempestaurora WHO IS SPIDER-MAN?The screen showed Peter Parker, sixteen years old and determined to prove the identity of Spider-Man over the course of the three-part documentary he was making, unknowing that it would become viral within days of the first part being released. Behind the camera, way off screen, was Harley Keener, Tony Stark’s other prodigy child, grinning like crazy as Peter started the documentary. Only a few people knew what was to come, and those few people were about to have a great few weeks.“My name is Peter Parker, and with the help of my friends, Ned Leeds, Harley Keener, and my Aunt, May Parker, who provided me with a lot of red yarn for this project, we’re going to uncover the identity of Spider-Man.”rec note: THIS FIC IS SO FUNNY!!!! I LOVE HARLEY IN FICS

5 Times Peter Made Tony Laugh Out Loud by grilledcheesing... and one time he did not.Post Spider-Man: Homecoming — Tony is just trying his damn hardest to keep this reckless kid from Queens safe, but it's hard when Peter is, occasionally, ridiculous as all hell.rec note: sof.....last chapter don’t interact....

if you love something, let it go by theprimrosepathBy now, the Avengers are well-acquainted with grief. But grief is a companion that rarely travels alone, particularly not around a prince.Really, grief is the least of Thor's problems.rec note: THOR MY POOR SON BOY SUN BOY :(((((((........

The Art of Publicity by xmypandabearAfter everything with the Accords, Tony Stark's reputation is in the toilet. Fortunately, he's got Spider-Man to make it better.(AKA Five times Peter and Tony's relationship made the internet implode a little)rec note: THIS FIC IS SO GOOD

We've Made It This Far, Kid by EmAndFandemsTony's just trying to protect the kid from SHIELD. Why does everything have to be so hard?Meanwhile, Peter's biggest problem is buying movie tickets, until he gets a harsh awakening.rec note: this fic is so good!!!!!! it feeds me in every way i want (also this was from the irondad big bang and i did art for it heyyyyy)

of nukes and goats by doingthewritethingsAs Tony find out, it’s hard to say no to teenagers who burst through a window into your lab and tell you they have made a grave mistake. (“We?” says Shuri. “There’s no ‘we’ in this mess, Pete.”)or, the one where Peter Parker buys a farm animal on a whim, and it almost leads to intergalactic doom.rec note: hey remember all the shuri & peter parker content we all made after infinity war? good times good times

We Drown Together by GalaxyThreads"...Sir?" Peter repeats, cautiously. The man licks his dry, split lips and then parts them, ragged breath escaping followed by a pleading whisper: "Help him."Odin arrives too late to save Thor and Loki from the plummet into the Void at the end of Thor 1, and both are captured and claimed by the hand of Thanos. Four years later, Peter Parker comes across two half-dead men wandering the streets of New York.rec note: this is such an interesting au!!! also, please give the brodinsons a hug.

Exclusive by copperbadgeHeroes In Manhattan: From Captain America's Hidden Talents To The Truth About The Hulk, We Debunk The Myths And Expose The Daily Lives Of The Avengers.rec note: ah yes, a classic! 

Stars, Hide Your Fires by YellowDistressStarks didn't create beautiful things.They created weapons that destroyed beautiful things. That was the way it had always been.But when the four-year-old's wide eyes blinked at him, Tony was struck with the sudden realization that maybe that had been a lie.rec note: this fic is part of a rlly long series that basically entails tony adopting peter after learning he’s his dad. i don’t really read a lot of bio dad aus (me reading irondad: it’s about the found family) but this is super good! it makes me feel a LOT 

buried alive by twoifT'Challa, king of the living, king of the dead, king of the in-between.The body is heavy. T'Challa's own trembles. He may not be able to support much more. He has been through so much already. Bast be with me, he curses. I have already borne so much today.But still, he carries Killmonger once more.rec note: SCREAMS i love t’challa so much

home training by theformeroneT'Chaka takes Erik back to Wakanda.Erik is a problem child.rec note: THIS IS SOOOOO GOOD!!!

Small Gods by LullabyKnell"Larger than life.They say that a lot, in the interviews and social media posts, when they talk about meeting Tony Stark. (Who’s ‘they’? Well, everybody, of course.) Shorter than they’d expected him to be, in person, but with a presence that makes him seem like... more.More than a regular celebrity, more than a man, more than a person - something big, something brilliant, something that’s already left a blazing mark on history."rec note: on god i am such a slut for tony character studies in fics

Remembering September by sunbean72As Tony confronts his past demons using BARF, Peter’s enhanced senses allow him to experience the world differently from others. When BARF malfunctions and someone needs to rescue Tony, Peter might be the only one who can save him.rec note: now that ffh came out this fic becomes uncanon but it’s canon in my heart

Stray by MemoryDragonJim Rhodes went out to get some studying done at the library. He ended up with a best friend.rec note: *clutches heart* OH

He's My... Intern? by losingmymindtonightA kid from Queens was all it took to melt the ice around Tony Stark's frozen heart.--A series of oneshots that delve into the relationship between Tony Stark and Peter Parker as their lives begin to merge.rec note: hhhhng. HHHHNG. HHHHHHH

Then How Do YOU Explain Peter? by Asphodelia“I DID NOT HAVE SEX WITH A SPIDER, THOR.”rec note: this fic made me laugh really really hard. also i’m 90% sure thor’s just trolling all of them

In Your Corner by asterismsFive adults who try to be the reasonable authority figure Peter needs in his life post-homecoming and one who was there all along.rec note: UGH i have many feelings....about spidered man.....

the one where Tony breaks Captain America by singingwithoutwordsTony and Rhodey have been in a committed relationship since Tony was sixteen. This is apparently news to Steve(and also the rest of the team).rec note: why is there not more rhodeytony fic. this is a crime.

Hypothetically, I'm a Role Model by madastheseaFor lack of better options, Tony asks Clint a question about kids.rec note: yes i know mcu clint is a rat. i still adore this fic because i can tastefully ignore his canon characterization

The A-Team Challenge by Isnt_it_pretty_to_think_soTony Stark just wants to keep Peter Parker on the down low. Heaven forbid Spiderman do something stupid, like go viral.OR: Peter Parker accidently patents the superhero equivalent of the ice bucket challenge.rec note: THE only cacw fixit ever

Small Town by ifitwasribaldIn the aftermath of Extremis and the Mandarin and Killian, a town keeps Tony's secret.rec note: honestly i just. really really like tony and his potato gun son

Pretend We're In Love (The Heartache Still Hurts) by InsaneJuliannRhodey's dad is dying, and what he's always wanted is for Rhodey to be happily married. Tony and Rhodey were best friends, and haven't spoken in years. But after a chance meeting at the airport, and a desperate, insane idea on Rhodey's part, they end up pretending to be engaged.But how much of it is really pretend?rec note: rhodeytony in this fic are like. ahaha what if we fake-kissed....but we’re still secretly pining for one another...

Time Past by flute25After the events of Dark World, Loki has deposited Odin at the Shady Acres retirement community.And that - should be that.But the pull of family (not his family) is strong, and Loki soon finds himself a regular visitor at the decrepit institution.After all, Odin is enchanted, and what harm can there be in finally telling the old man what is on his mind without any repercussions?What harm, indeed?rec note: lokiiiiiiiii :((((((((

An Eggscellent Adventure by flute25Loki teaches Thor about a new Midgardian cooking method as the two sons of Asgard settle into their new home at Stark Tower.Post-Infinity War/A4. Thanos is dead, everyone else is alive, and the sun is shining on us again.rec note: LOKIIIIIIIII!!!!!!!!!

Tony Stark is the New Tokyo by CiderSkyTony Stark has a complicated relationship with moths.rec note: this is a pretty old fic but also. MOTHS FLYING AROUND THE ARC REACTOR

This Tiny Bird by battybatzgirlYou can never be too sure of what teenagers do on dates these days. Good thing Tony is excellent at being stealthy.(He's NOT overprotective. He's not.)rec note: ahhhhhhhhh

The Adventures of Captain Crowbar and Spider-Man by ciaconnaaPeter gasps. “It's like you're psychic. A super-powered brain. You sure you aren’t an Avenger, too?”“No. And the answer to the next question, 'Is Spider-Man an Avenger?' is also, no.”“I’m an honorary Avenger, Em. It’s a big deal.”“Stark comes up with fancier ways to say lackey every single day.”or;When Michelle gets mugged and hit over the head with a crowbar, she's gifted with a concussion. It's not a fun time. Luckily, she has Spider-Man's number.rec note: this starts out as spideychelle but is part of a series that’s a mcu/brooklyn nine nine crossover which makes me so happy

the sky collapsed but the stars remain by ciaconnaaOn the day of the Snap, Harley Keener watches his mother turn to dust.With a duty to look after his younger sister, the two of them abandon the wilting town of Rose Hill in search of Tony Stark. Because if Harley helped him before, he can damn well help him again. Tony's a mechanic. He fixes things.To put it simply, they have to fix this.rec note: oh, my feelings,

...two birdbrained heroes and a spider in a stark tree by ciaconnaaThis year, the first Christmas after Thanos, the Avengers decide to do gifts by simply doing a Secret Santa for their Christmas party. And it's just Peter's luck that he drew Mr. Stark's name.rec note: THIS IS THE POST ENDGAME FIC THAT I SHOULD’VE GOTTEN. GODDAMN YOU R*SSOS FOR K WORDING TONY ISTG

potato guns and repulsers by gossamernotesHarley Keener was four when his dad left.Five when Tony Stark became Iron Man.And ten when said superhero broke into his garage and demanded a sandwich.Life, after that, was never the same.[The story wherein Harley Keener thinks over his life and watches where it goes after he meets the one and only, Tony Stark. It doesn't really go the way he planned.]rec note: this makes me so soft

Restless Night by Fernandidilly_yoSometimes even heroes can't sleep, but that's alright because there is always someone else awake and nearby.Or: Five times Tony couldn't sleep and the one time he did.rec note: you may notice a pattern of “not a lot of these fics are angsty! wow!” this one kind of is

Silence is Golden by GloriousBlackoutPeter doesn't say a word during his first six months with the Ravagers. Yondu learns to adapt to having a silent shadow following him around.rec note: DAD YONDU AND SMOL QUILL

Watch Our Souls Fade Away by GloriousBlackoutNebula and Tony struggle to come to terms with everything they've lost as they make the journey back to Earth.rec note: this fic was written before endgame but I SWEAR. THE WAY NEBULA AND TONY ARE WRITTEN BY THIS WRITER I CRY

All You Distrust, All You Save by GloriousBlackoutNebula could be forgiven for hoping things couldn't get much worse than being stranded in space with a man she barely knows and little chance of rescue. Unfortunately, the universe has a habit of proving her wrong.Missing scenes from Nebula and Tony's difficult journey back to Earth.rec note: please i am fragile,

All That's to Come by GloriousBlackoutIn the aftermath of Tony's funeral, Nebula tries to comprehend her feelings of loss and ends up meeting a little girl who's grown up hearing stories about her.rec note: I’M NOT OKAY. I’M NOT FUCKING OKAY

Lazarus, come forth by iron_spiderTony's mind is a chaotic mess but he remembers the moment—remembers his death, remembers the red hot pain and Peter screaming, Rhodey rushing to his side. How he knew he’d never see Pepper again—but they’d fixed it. They’d fixed the world, erased the lost time, set things right—and the kid was back. The kid was crying, the kid hated him for doing what he did, but he was back. He was alive.rec note: this isn’t an endgame fixit but....i also read this around 10 times after endgame because. yeah. also here comes the iron_spider spam

dear mr. fantasy by iron_spiderTony worries his brain is misfiring, transporting him across time and space in one final insane journey. He swallows hard, and he hears those garbled voices again. He can’t make out words, or tone, or who the hell is talking, but somebody definitely is, and it sounds strangely like they’re underwater. Or he is. He grits his teeth and turns around, and before he can even begin to trudge over towards Peter’s room, he’s stopped in his tracks. By a door. In the middle. Of the living room. Straight up and down like a monolith, just beside the glass coffee table. Tony chews on his lower lip and stares at it. “Well that’s new,” he says, still rooted to the spot.rec note: listen i swear i’m not going to just rec every single iron_spider longfic *does exactly that*

the rattle of their hearts by iron_spiderTony deals with the aftermath of Infinity War. He needs to get things back to normal. And Peter is an essential part of normal.rec note: this is one of the first marvel fics i read and i started reading it while it was being updated and i was SHAKING in ANTICIPATION and i SCREAMED several times i just. h,,,hhh.. this is an infinity war fixit but it’s miles better than endgame

Stark's Home for Wayward Animals by iron_spiderTony narrows his eyes and turns the corner. Peter is splayed out on the third stair, in his Spiderman suit sans the mask, soaked to the bone. His hair is plastered to his forehead, he’s shivering, and he’s holding a gray cat clutched to his chest.Tony stares at him. Both Peter and the cat are looking at him, wide-eyed, and then the cat meows again, breaking the silence.“What’s happening right now?” Tony asks.rec note: CAT CAT CAT CAT CAT CAT CAT CAT CAT

ever in your favor by iron_spiderHe remembers what day it is, and his heart beats like a drum at someone’s execution. But he tries to put on a mask, make it all seem normal. It’s everything but, despite the fact that he’s been dealing with reaping day since he was born, between himself, Ben and May. That fear that one of them could be taken away. Sent to surefire slaughter. But now Ben is gone, taken despite never having his name drawn from a bowl, and May’s finally safe. Now Peter’s name is in there alone. The last Parker sitting on the chopping block. He doesn’t know how to be. He doesn’t know what normal is, when the Hunger Games are looming on the horizon.rec note: ghhghfjkgf this fic is so top notch...it gave me so many feelings....it GAVE ME CAROL&TONY RIGHTS?? FROM AN MCU FIC???? LITERALLY THE DREAM ??

5 times Peter is stuck with Tony by iron_spider(...and one time he’s stuck alone.)“I wonder if Pepper’s reported me missing yet,” Tony says, with an exaggerated sigh. “I wonder if this is some kind of scheme to kidnap me or something.”“I think the ride’s just broken,” Peter says.“Today of all goddamn days,” Tony says, exasperation clear in his voice and in his eyes. “Ruining our trip—”“It’s not ruined,” Peter says. “Look, we’re hanging out."“Real quality time,” Tony huffs. “Us, a few other trapped members of the general public, and a handful of animatronic pirates. Drunk pirates. Repeating themselves.”rec note: this fic is a RIDE. i laugh in one chapter and then my feelings get vibe checked in the next.

what if there is no tomorrow? by iron_spider"We're in a time loop. I'm Bill Murray. I remember everything, you guys don't, we're...we are trapped. We're trapped, buddy. I've done this over and over. And over. And over and over and over. I don't know how to fix it. So I'm...giving up. I make snow angels now. And that's it."rec note: this fic made me like justin hammer. it’s done the fucking impossible.

[the-stark-bunch]

Rivals Finally /

Crush Part 1

Riri looked up from her workstation in the lab to the clock on the wall. It was already almost 2:00 a.m. and she knew Tony would throw a fit if they stayed up any later.

Peter was hard at work on new web shooters that would allow him to use less of his natural web fluid. Gifts from Wade Howlett and Harry Osborn were dotted around his portion of the lab, all chocolates and chimichanga bouquets eaten. Riri and Harley were actually the ones who ate most of the stuff, seeing as Riri was a sucker for fried food and Harley loved the expensive, fancy chocolates that Harry imported from various countries.

Harley was half asleep, hunched over his latest design of the Iron Lad suit. He was wearing a shirt Ned designed for him as a birthday present the year before that read “Not Iron Lad”. It was a personal joke among the OG friend group (which consisted of Peter, Harley, Ned, Shuri, Riri and Yukio), poking fun at Harley hating the name Iron Lad. His section of the lab was clean for the most part besides a few crushed cans of double shot Starbucks, an oil rag and a picture of his deceased mother and sister.

The last few days, Harley has gotten quieter than usual. He typically only opened his mouth to make smart remarks and work the room if needed, but these days all he seemed to bother talking for was debate team at school. He was starting to seem annoyed by the whole rivalry between Wade and Harry, but always shrugged it off when anyone asked why he was no longer interested. Peter had figured out about the small war of affection, and he found it flattering, but just like Riri he was much more worried about Harley.

“Pete, Harls,” Riri called to get her surrogate brothers’ attention. “We should head off to bed, yeah?”

“Yeah,” Peter agreed, shutting his area down.

When Harley didn’t move, Riri tried again, “Harley, come on. It’s late. Don’t you want to sleep in your bed?”

“Huh?” He finally heard her and looked up. “Yeah, yeah, you’re right.”

The older sister helped Harley up while Peter shut the rest of the lab down for them. Together, they made their way upstairs to the family residential floor of Stark Tower. Tony didn’t usually sleep on this floor unless one of the kids’ therapists suggested their mental state was declining, so it was no surprise that the master bedroom was empty.

“Want to have a sleepover tonight?” Riri asked once they got to the end of the hall.

“In Dad’s room?” Peter raised an eyebrow.

“It’s not like he’s using it right now,” she shrugged.

The three broke off to their own rooms to shower and change into pajamas. After grabbing a few things, they met back up in the now lit master bedroom and set up their pillow and blanket fort.

They all laid together cuddling, their positions subconsciously tactical in case of a late night attack. Being the youngest and weakest of the three, Harley was positioned in between his two siblings. Peter was the second oldest and physically strongest, so he was by the window, and Riri being the oldest was closest to the door to put herself between the most likely case of danger and her brothers.

“Are either of you awake?” Riri asked thirty minutes into trying to fall asleep. Both boys made small noises of acknowledgement, Peter turning to looked at her over Harley’s head.

“Howlett And Osborn seems to be calming down a bit lately,” she said.

Peter nodded, “I think they are running out of ideas.”

“Have you decided which one you like more?”

“It was never a competition.”

“I’m guessing that means you aren’t going to tell?”

Peter laughed at his sister, “No, I don’t plan on it. Not yet. Do you have a crush on anyone?”

“Pete, I’m eighteen,” she rolled her eyes. “I don’t get crushes. But... I think there is someone I like.”

“Who?”

“I’m not telling you,” Riri hit him with a pillow. “A secret for a secret.”

“You’re both so weird,” Harley laughed under his breath, not opening his eyes.

“Oh is that so?” Riri met eyes with Peter, then propped herself on her elbow. “And do tell, little brother, do you have a crush on anyone?”

Harley’s cheeks turned crimson. Without a word, he pulled the silk sheets over his head. That was answer enough.

“My baby brother has a crush,” Peter gasped.

“I’m not a baby, I’m two years younger than you!” Harley’s voice came muffled from under the sheets.

“Our little cynic is all grown up,” Riri faked to fan tears from her eyes.

“Who is it?” The older brother demanded, pulling the sheets down so they could see Harley again.

“No.”

“Harls, you have to tell us,” Riri begged.

“I don’t have to tell you anything.”

“Yes you do,” Peter said. “We are your older siblings. As baby brother, your secrets are our business.”

“That’s so unfair!” Harley said, glaring up at them.

A grin broke out across both the siblings’ faces, and Harley didn’t have time to react before they descended upon him with tickles.

“Stop!” Harley cries through fits of giggles and laughter. “Dad is going to- hear us- and get mad-“

“If you tell us who your crush is, we will stop,” Riri said singsong.

“Never!”

“Fine, just know you have dug your own grave,” Peter smirked, pinning his brother’s arms so that he couldn’t push them away.

After a little more struggling, Harley finally said, “It doesn’t matter who it is, he will never like me back!”

Peter and Riri stopped at that and frowned at each other.

“Harls, you can’t say that,” Peter said carefully. “He could love you back right now and you just don’t know it.”

“Even if he doesn’t like you, that doesn’t mean he never will,” Riri finished.

“I’m plain to him,” Harley looked away, trying to hide his red face. “I’m just some kid from the south with a heart disease. He doesn’t like me, I know he doesn’t. He never will. There’s no adventure in being with me, and that’s what he wants. That’s what he likes.”

The other two knew there was nothing they could say to make this better. Harley hasn’t had problems with his heart since the transplant, but they always knew there was a cliff hanging off ever breath. He was a cynic due to experience, and nothing could sway him once he made up his mind on a matter.

Both of them laid back down, cuddling their little brother close. It was right before she drifted of, that Riri connected the dots.

Harley being so quiet, having a crush on a boy who liked adventure and clearly didn’t have a crush on him back. It was all so obvious, she should have noticed sooner.

The last thing she saw was Peter’s sleepy, lidded eyes looking back at her, having made the same connection.

~~~

Riri and Peter called an emergency friend meeting the next day when Harley went to physical therapy with their uncle Rhodey. Not everyone was there, but the people who needed to be were. Yukio, Ned, Betty and Liz day on one side of the long conference table. On the other side was Eddie, Flash, Gwen, MJ and Shuri. At the head were the two siblings, of course, waiting for Wade and Harry to officially begin business.

Harry got there at 9:00 a.m. sharp, the exact time the meeting was supposed to start. Wade got there fifteen minutes late. Both sat at the other end of the table from Riri and Peter.

“I’m sure you are all very confused about why I called an emergency meeting while Harley is unable to attend,” Riri said, standing. “I will explain it all in a bit. For now, please listen to Peter present our dilemma. Peter, the floor is yours.”

Peter nodded and stood as she sat. “As you all have seen, and made bets upon, Wade and Harry both are pinning after me. Harley was the first to notice the growing dispute, and the first to get fully engaged in the outcome. The last few weeks though, he has been avoiding the situation. Can anyone tell me why?”

“He doesn’t want to see you getting hurt over having to chose the results,” Betty offered.

“He lost interest,” Liz suggested.

“Both of those are possibilities,” Peter agreed. “But it���s more complicated than that.”

“Is he sick?” Flash asked in a slight panic. “Did he get hurt?”

“No, no,” Riri tried to call their friend. “If he was sick, we would have told you all right away.

“Riri and I think we figured it out last night,” Peter continued. He looked far across the table to the boys who had been fighting for his heart. Harry looked extremely worried for his friend, while Wade looked about ready to run out of the room to hunt Harley down. He couldn’t help the twitch of a smile at his lips from their concern for his brother.

Riri took Peter’s hand to get his attention, guiding him to sit back down.

“Boys,” she carefully looked up at the conflicting love interests. “You both love Harley, correct?”

“Of course,” Harry said.

“Who couldn’t?” Wade added. “He’s so sassy, and small. I get overprotective around him all the time.”

“And you love me?” Peter asked.

“Yes,” both said.

“Well, then you need to keep open minds, and kind hearts, as to what I’m about to say,” Riri said, looking between them.

When she was sure both of them were listening, she took a deep breath, and prayed she was right.

“You both love Peter,” she restated, “but Harry, I don’t think you are in love with Peter.”

“What do you mean?” Harry looked taken aback.

“Harry, your brain tricked your heart into loving Peter, but I’m reality, you love someone else,” she said with great pity. Everyone was looking at Harry now. They had figured it out too.

“You’ve been projecting your feeling for that person onto me, because you know the risk of loving them,” Peter said.

“I still don’t understand,” Harry shook his head. Even Wade was now looking at him with a pitiful understanding.

“Harry,” Riri walked over to him, taking his hands in hers as she crouched in front of him. “You are in love with Harley.”

It took him a few moments. Many emotions crossed his face in those moments. Confusion, realization, terror, regret, fear and understanding.

He settled on saying the most graceful thing he could muster at the time.

“Oh shit.”

[jpat82]

Order Of The Midnight Sun

CHAPTER 11

     I drove out to Needham, I need to know more. Things weren't adding up, he should never of been put on the hit list if hadn't been fully convicted. As I raced through the crowded streets weaving around slow moving cars dread was beginning settle in my chest. What if Zimo was right? Dear lord, please let this be a mix up.

     I pulled up to the police department in Needham and killed my engine tucking my helmet under my arm. It was just as busy as the Boston one had been. However one man in the corner stood out around the rest. He almost towered everyone in the room. His long blonde hair was pulled back at the base of his neck, the scar of the star was showing.

     He was talking animatedly with someone and I saw the tattoo on his forearm. Another executioner, a big one at that. I could feel every muscle in my body tighten as I approached the counter near him. He stopped talking to the red head woman in front of him, his eyes traveling over my body.

     "Can I help you, hun?" The woman turned attention her to me.

     "I need a file on the executioner Alexander Jones." I stated, since his death occurred here and since his secondary crime was committed in Needham I needed to look through their files.

     "Now why would a tiny thing like you need a file that?" The man next me to stated in a booming heavily accented voice.

    "That's none of your concern." I spat back, glaring up at the man.

     "It's my concern because I want it to be, and I'm only going to ask you nicely once again, why do you want the file?" He turned his body to face me, massive muscles flexing as he crossed his arms over his chest, he was making an attempt at making feeling small. Bad news dude, I'm not easily intimidated.

     "According to code 127-45 all files pertaining to deceased executioners are open to the public and code C. 35-29 means I don't have to answer your questions since you are not my commanding officer. Further more C. 132 allows me access even if he were alive." I hissed back, taking a step up to him.

     The whole precinct went dead quiet, C. 132, when an Order Of The Midnight Sun asks for a file on a living executioner then the local authorities must hand it over without question. I just stated who I was without having to utter a word about it. I watched as the man's jaw tensed and his nostrils flared.

     "Don't mind Thor, he's having a rough day." The red head stated, smiling over at me as she went back to a cabinet. "I'm Natasha Romanov, Captian of this precinct. And you'll find no trouble with me."

     She slid the thin file on the counter to me as the man to my right continued to seeth. His fist clenching on the counter.

    "The only thing in there is his death, he didn't commit any crimes while he was out here Needham." She stated as I flipped open the file. She was right, the only thing was his death recorded, brick to the face multiple times. The OMS carved into his chest, it was how people knew that they had been on the hit list. Date June 20, 2090.

     I sighed looking up from the file, this wasn't a hit. He had been intentionally murdered via Bucky. Fuck. Technically that means the person who called the hit should be on our list as well as the individual who committed the hit. I ran my hand over the top of my head.

     "Thank you." I stated, I was lost in thought as I walked out of the building.

     I never heard Thor walk out behind me, the only thing that alerted me was when I was slammed against the building. Pain blossoming in my already throughly bruised ribs. His form towered over mine as he pinned me against the rough brick. I glared up at him, not bothering to fight back, it would of been pointless to begin with.

     "Killian was training me to take his place when he was murdered." Thor's tone was low and tense, I could feel his anger pouring off of him. "But because Boston has three in the Order they chose not to replace him."

    "That not my problem." I stated through clenched teeth, swiftly bring my knee between us and shoving hard.

     He cradled he crotch as he dropped to his knee, I took a step away from the building and glared down at him. I walked around him towards my bike, putting my helmet back on. By not keeping on eye on him as I had my back to him I told him that I didn't see him as a threat, is it foolish of me, sure, I didn't have back up.

     "I should be part of the order." He called out as I started my bike, rolling my eyes.

    "And I think you should go sit on a cactus, but that's not happening either!" I yelled back, peeling out on to the street leaving the man behind as I raced back to Boston.

~~~

    The sun was getting low in the sky, setting the factory in an warm orange glow. Bucky's bike was parked out front and Steve's corvette was missing. I killed the bike next to the Harley and swung my leg over. Slowly I pulled the helmet off, the pain meds were beginning to where off as I pulled the front door open.

    My ankle was starting to throb as I made my way up the stairs. I could hear music blaring from down the hall, through the main room of the factory. No doubt Bucky was working out, I needed pain relief above anything else though. I got to the kitchen, open the cupboards to our supply only to find it empty except a singular note. 'See me downstairs.'

     Well this was going to go wonderfully. I hobbled down back the stairs, pain spearing up with each step as I descended. Opening the door to the main floor, I walked passed the fake buildings of our training center towards the back room. The door was already open to the work out room.

    Heavy music blaring out as I entered, Bucky stood towards the corner where the heavy punching bag hung. His shorts hung low on his narrow hips, sweat trickled down his bare torso as he threw punch after punch. His chocolate locks pulled back in a low bun, his good hand wrapped around the knuckles with a dirty white fabric. I spied the bottle of pain meds on the small table near him.

    "You just going to stand there kitten?" He questioned as he threw another hard punch into the bag.

     "Debating how badly I want pain relief." I replied, my eyes flicked back to Bucky's back.

   I watched the muscles in his back contort and stretch as he threw another punch. I knew I wasn't fast enough to snag it, it was to close to him, he stop for a moment and looked over his shoulder at me. Deep blue eyes taking me in, if I hadn't thought he was mad by the fact he took the pain meds I would of known the moment those dark cold blues landed on me. A storm passed through them as he stared me down.

     "How bad do you hurt?" He questioned.

@kitkatkl @octobermermaid @ajosieface @instantnoodlese @crystlblu @coffeebooksandfandom @thisismysecrethappyplace @lokilvrr @patzammit @moodygrip

[emilyplaysotome]

Chapter 3 - The Hard Sell

It’s strange that the first thing I thought about was whether or not I should return to my apartment (now that it was no long inhabited by Zyglavis).

The sentimental part of me wanted to be comforted by all things familiar, but it was for that reason and that reason alone that I pushed myself to follow through and stay at Meg’s. My problem had been that I’d gotten too comfortable, both in my relationship and with other men whose affections towards me felt like a constant.

Between my time in otomeville and my time back home with Zyglavis, I had forgotten what it was to be truly alone. It was unsettling, returning this place where no one was thinking of me. As fiercely independent as I once was, I was now a domesticated version of myself - lost and weak and without a shoulder to cry on.

I had drawn strength from these relationships without even realizing it and now that they were gone I felt as if I was adrift at sea.

I took my phone out and sent a text to each of the otome men in my phone. It was a total Hail Mary on my part, and I had absolutely no expectation that I’d get a reply so when Leon immediately texted back I felt slightly relieved. He and I had never been close or even liked one another for that matter, but knowing that there was at least one person in this world who understood my history reinvigorated my drive to win the king’s new game.

We met a few hours later by his apartment for dinner, and I filled him in on everything that had happened.

“That makes sense,” he mumbled. “The last time I came by your place I could tell that Zyglavis was keeping something from me. It must have been the return of his powers…”

“And yours?” I asked hopefully.

Leon shook his head, “No. I could feel the king’s presence but I am not the God I once was in my world.”

I felt my heart sink as I kissed goodbye access to in-game cheat codes that Leon’s godly version possessed. In the hours before our meeting, it had started to sink in that this was going to be much harder than my first attempt had been at romancing otome men.

For starters, three months was not nearly enough time if you considered the fact that I still had to work most days. In otomeville, my days had been free to research and run about the city as I looked for clues and went on dates before finally getting myself home.

Now, both myself and the men were theoretically working 9-5s, Monday through Friday (if not more) and I still had no idea who that fifth mystery guest might be. As much as I hated it, I’d already re-activated my Tinder account (seeing as how the king had made it fairly explicit that I’d be needing to find the men in this world through conventional means) and I’d also downloaded Bumble, OkCupid, and Hinge figuring that the more apps I was on, the more chances I’d have in finding them.

I had hoped that Leon’s powers were back and that he could snap his fingers and cut through some of the noise, but it was becoming clearer and clearer that I was going to really need to strategize in order to find the most effective plan to locate and win the hearts of these men. Finding them would be only half the battle - I worried not only about the fact that they were all so attractive every woman in NYC was no doubt swiping right and without my advantage I was just another face in the crowd.

There was nothing particularly memorable or beautiful about me, and on apps like Tinder, superficial first impressions remain king. It was for that reason and that reason alone that I shared my profile with Leon. He tapped through my profile photos and with a scoff read my bio.

“No, this will never do. Don’t you have anything more…I don’t know…personable?”

“What do you mean?”

“Look at these - you’re just so…forgettable.”

“Hey!”

“You don’t have time to get upset Goldfish. Think. You need to find 5 men - what do they like? Why would they swipe on you? Right now you’re just another smiling face and you know it. Think.”

As tough as it was to hear Leon validate my feelings, I soon found myself searching for particular photos I knew I had in the annals of my facebook.

I started by finding a photo from 3 years ago at a motorcycle show I’d attended for work when Harley Davison was one of our clients. I hoped Hiroshi would see that and swipe right, knowing how much he loved motorcycles. For Soryu, I found a picture that he’d actually taken of me a month ago as I successfully completed my most challenging lift. I hoped that would also appeal to Jin and Hijikata, but taking no chances I added photos from a trip that I’d taken a fears years back at a traditional a Japanese temple long before I’d fallen down a rabbit hole to a bizarro version of the place. I also found a photo from halloween where I was dressed up as a sexy lady cop (something I’d hoped never to publicly share but figured that desperate times called for desperate measures).

Not knowing who the mystery fifth man was, I opted to use the last 2 of the 6 pictures Tinder allowed to appeal to Zyglavis.

The king had so cruelly wiped all my devices of our shared photos but for whatever reason had not taken ones of just me (such as all the solo shots he had taken of me on his birthday). In the photo I selected, I was holding up a chocolate ganache cake I’d made for him from scratch with a warm smile on my face. His birthday had happened before any of our problems had really started, and as a result it was clear as day by the way I looked at the camera that I was in love with the man who was holding it.

For my final picture, I recovered another photo that Zyglavis had taken at Maya and Omar’s wedding. In it, I’m wearing a form fitted dress, holding a slice of wedding cake, and smiling at the camera.

Leon nodded approvingly at my changes and noted, “What about the bio?”

I chewed on my bottom lip as I thought for a moment and then wrote the following: “We will be lost and found a thousand times on this cobbled road of us.” - Atticus

Leon chuckled and noted, “A little heavy handed but I like it. It’s a bit of a riddle and it speaks to the situation. Perhaps it might jog a lost memory or feeling.”

I smiled in an attempt to hide how overwhelmed I felt. I was starting over in such a big way and it felt daunting to be at the starting line again. Leon saw through my fake smile and awkwardly noted, “It’ll be fine.”

“Will it? The king is right - without the advantage...”

“It pains me to say this but your problem with the men in this world has nothing to do with you and everything to do with how you view yourself.”

“Come on, you’ve seen the women in this city and -“

“Naomi, you make it hard for me to believe you’re competent at your job. You’re in marketing, no? You must understand the concept of selling a product.”

“Of course I do!”

“In dating, you’re the product. Why would I want to buy a product that believes that all the women around her are better? Men don’t need a lot of convincing if you’ve already decided you’re inferior on your own. They’ll just take your word for it and go look for something better.”

Once more, though Leon’s words cut deep in my heart I knew he was right.

Dating in this world (before I’d found myself living in a fantasy) had robbed me of my confidence. As time went on, I found myself believing less and less that I’d ever find happiness and that in itself proved to be a self-fulfilling prophecy of sorts.

I wondered when it was that I started feeling this way which conjured memories from previous heartaches and feeling of inadequacy created by men who were too emotionally stunted to ever be a real partner in the way that I wanted.

As my mind mulled over the root of these problematic beliefs I held for myself, Leon continued, “The ego of man is a fragile one. Far more fragile than that of a woman’s feelings. If you believe that you are the best product a man can have, he will believe it too. Courtship is the perfect balance of self confidence and affirmation. You use your looks to make the first impression, then you show off a product that is so highly desired you wouldn’t ever settle for the first bidder, yet you maintain clear interest by expressing a reasonable level of affection somewhere between total indifference and complete thirst.”

“What do you mean?”

Leon sighed, annoyed that I didn’t have the tools to unpack what he felt was obvious and said, “Just find a way to casually tell a man he’s handsome. That word is kryptonite for men - it can be used in a familiar way without coming across desperate but at the same time makes it obvious that you find them attractive.”

“Leon…you’re really good at this.”

Leon shrugged, “I suppose a millennia of hearing the wishes of men makes it fairly obvious what they desire most.”

“Seriously. You’ve opened my eyes to something I couldn’t figure out from years of therapy. You should teach classes or something.”

“No time. Besides, that would only get in the way of my political career.”

“Your what now?”

With a cocky grin Leon polished off the rest of the beer that was sitting in front of him and said confidently, “The next few months will be busy for me. I plan to run for mayor here. You goldfish need someone like me in charge!”

I let out a laugh and it was oddly comforting to see that even though much had changed in the course of a weekend, Leon’s arrogance would remain a constant in my life for the foreseeable future.

That night I found myself in Meg’s guest room on Tinder.

I’d forgotten how tedious the process of weeding through such a large pool of men could be. There were the guys that were an obvious no, with profiles that made it clear they wanted sex and nothing more. There were the trolls and the geeks and the men that made me feel superficial and mean for not ever giving them a chance despite the fact they seemed to be good people underneath a less than desirable exterior.

Finally there was that elusive 1% of attractive, but not so attractive that they were guaranteed to be players. The smart, cute, totally dateable man who (statistically speaking) had a line of women waiting to hang out. I was an underdog in so many ways but as I continued my adventures in swiping I reminded myself that Leon was right.

I needed to value myself more or no one else would.

With that in mind, I found myself walking to the full length mirror in the guest room, momentarily leaving my phone behind as I evaluated the product I was currently hawking online. 

She was average female height at around 5’4” and 145 lbs. She had dark hair, dark eyes, full lips, and a nice smile. Her skin was looking a little ruddy at the moment with dark circles under her eyes and thanks to her laziness when it came to cosmetics meant that whenever she was sleep deprived she never attempted to hide the fact she looked less than ideal.

I thought about the Naomi I wanted to be, and how when I looked good I felt better about myself. I didn’t wear makeup just because I was a tomboy - really, I never wore makeup because I was too self-conscious to learn. I pretended that I was above it all, but in actuality I just perpetually ran behind and between not having time and not having any idea what I was doing started hanging my hat on the fact that I am “all natural”.

I decided that thanks to Leon’s verbal push I was going to be Naomi 2.0 - a better version of the self that had already made great strides to becoming better in the months since her fall down the rabbit hole. Beyond just introducing me to men, my time in otomeville had reminded me about all the things I liked about myself and now it was time to work on those things I still struggled with.

The next day, my coworkers were sad to learn that our salad runs with Hiroshi and Jin had come to an end. I came up with a story that they’d gone undercover and as a result even I didn’t know where they were.

As a result, I spent that lunch hour trying to familiarize myself with some basic products that I hoped could help give my appearance a bit more polish and my fragile ego a bit of a boost. The lady at Sephora informed me as she applied some powder with a brush that “I made hilarious faces” and as self-conscious as I was by the end of my time there I walked out with a good set of makeup brushes, powder, blush, bronzer, eyeliner, an eye kit for special occasions, an eyelash curler, and some mascara.

I’d gone back and forth on the lipstick, ultimately deciding that I’d be too self conscious in a bright color and would opt for my usual chapstick gloss.

No one said anything about my new look back at the office, and the day flew by as it usually did now that I was back in the rhythm of my usual life. At the moment, I’d spent the last few months working on a few different accounts ranging from athleisure (Adidas) to skincare (dove). After returning from otomeville and my quick stint at Addison & Rhodes, I’d requested a change of clientele from my boss and was happy that she accommodated my request.

My life at work was far more enjoyable these days, and it was nice to once again feel creative and inspired at my day job. The hours flew by and before I knew it 6 pm hit and I made a slight detour on my way back to Meg’s apartment.

In addition to the makeup, I decided to purchase a few “date night outfits” that were less stuffy than my “biz-cas” (business casual) work attire and very casual t-shirt and jeans. I’ll admit that even though I’d turned my nose up in the past at women who poured a lot of energy into their appearance, I was eating crow at the moment.

I looked nice - better than I had in a long time and as a result I could feel my confidence growing to the point that wooing 5 handsome men over the course of 3 months no longer seemed impossible.

With my high end shopping sprees complete (though not even comparable to the shopping I’d once done during my time as the bachelorette) I was found myself riding high on a mix of newfound confidence and positivity. I swiped my way from the shops near my office in TriBeCa/Soho to Meg’s apartment in the west village yet there was no sign of any of the otome men.

The tinder gold icon let me know that 99+ men had already swiped right (aka “yes”) on me and realizing that it might make sense to expedite this process through additional capital I took the leap and discovered that I already had 900 suitors at the ready. Feeling quite good about the number of men lined up to date me, I scrolled through the faces hoping to see someone familiar and just as I was close to the bottom who should I see but a very familiar cinnamon roll.

Wearing a leather jacket, holding his helmet in one hand, Hiroshi’s first Tinder photo had him leaning against his parked motorcycle. I was so excited that I almost hastily swiped right and instantly messaged him, but thinking about the king, Leon, and the fact that I did not know this version of Hiroshi I knew that I needed to play it smart.

I took screenshots of his page, hoping that there would be a clue seeing as how if I managed to blow this shot with him somehow I’d need a backup plan. From the images I gathered (paired with the miles away) I deduced that he was somewhere in Queens, had joined a local bike club there, and frequented a certain bar (two of his photos were in the same pub and in his profile he noted that he loved an inexpensive dive).

Once I’d properly archived all the information I could get on Hiroshi, I swiped right and hoping to appeal to his inner bike nerd I wrote, “Hey! Cool motorcycle - how long have you been riding?”

I felt good about that opener until a few minutes later I saw his reply and my newfound confidence shattered.

“Hey sorry - u were an accidental swipe. Cool u like bikes tho. Always up 2 chat about that but ur not my type haha.”

The king wasn’t playing around this time and it was already obvious that a little makeup and some new clothes weren’t going to help me much with a game that was clearly rigged from the start. 

The old Naomi would have gotten down on herself, but this new and improved 2.0 Naomi who believed in her product was ready for what was clearly going to be the biggest challenge of her life...

Next to Chapter 4

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[hellomissmabel]

Debut I/II

MASTERLIST

Pairing: Bucky x reader

Warnings: Someone being called a bitch and a jerk. Kicking someone in a very sensitive, male spot.

Word count: 2k

Summary: You’re a small town actress catapulted to fame when you land a role in an immensely popular TV show. After turning down the flirtations of the lead male character, the media paints you as a bitch and you end up being bullied by his fans. Struggling to stay true to yourself, you find comfort and friendship in one of actors who makes his debut on the show.

This is a two-part mini series! No tagging sorry x

All Sebastian Stan’s characters & fics can be found here

A/N: Written for @bbparker

“Y/N, babe, filming starts in ten! Please hurry up to Wanda for make-up, dear,” the producer Tony screams from the other end of the room, heatedly discussing something with the screenwriter Peggy.

Bidding goodbye to one of the extras on the show, Peter Parker, you rush to the makeup department to get touched up. Wanda is already waiting for you with a playfully stern look in her eyes, sighing exasperatingly when you finally jump into your assigned seat.

“Your hair is a mess, Y/N,” Wanda groans softly as she starts to comb through it in an attempt to tame your fake curls from last episode. “I thought I told you not to put them up in a messy bun! Now you have so many knots and I have only…” Looking down on her watch, she shrieks dramatically. “I have only six minutes left to fix this!”

“Calm down, Wanda,” the attractive brunet in the chair next to you tells your stylist. “I’m Bucky Barnes,” he introduces himself, extending a hand for you to shake.

“Y/N Y/L/N,” you smile back at the handsome stranger, “I play…”

“Harley Rains. Yeah, I instantly recognised you.” His piercing blue eyes stare straight into your soul. “The female lead. Well, Harley, meet your new co-star, August Addison.”

Wanda tugs firmly on your hair and you release a soft yelp, your face contorting in a severely unattractive expression. It seems to amuse Bucky more than it bothers you, so you continue your conversation like nothing happened. “You’re Steve’s half-brother, right? In the show, I mean.”

“Brady Hawking’s brother from another mother,” he chuckles as the make-up artist gives him a final once-over before clearing him. “Nice chatting with you, Harley. I’ll see you in a minute or two.”

The brunet leaves with a cheeky wink as Wanda rushes to raise your hair and makeup to a presentable level. When you exit the hair and makeup corner, you bump into your best friend and co-star Natasha, who funnily enough plays your on-screen nemesis, Dixie Sauvage.

“Did you already meet the fucking hot new co-star?,” she whispers into your ear as she pulls you aside. “Bucky Barnes a.k.a August Addison?” With a big, toothy grin you answer her question. “I don’t think Steve will be very happy. A lot of the girls will now be swooning over August instead of Brady.”

Maria, one of the dancers on the show, rounds the corner and stops in her tracks as she sees the two of you talking. With a foxy attitude and swaying hips, she walks up to you and flips her hair. “Guess who slept with Steve?”

Bursting into hearty laughter at her silly impersonation, the mood soon turns serious again. “No, really. Do you know who slept with Steve now?”

Both of you shake your head, curiosity peaking sky-high. “Sharon,” Maria reveals with a hushed breath. “The one and only Chanel Shaw.”

Exchanging a bewildered look with the redhead, you clasp your hand in front of your mouth to avoid screaming. “Are you kidding me? Sharon? That bitch who plays Chanel Shaw?” Natasha makes a gagging noise to emphasise her statement.

Chanel Shaw is the Barbie doll of the show, played by the screenwriter’s niece, Sharon Carter. Most of her fans are teenage girls who wouldn’t want anything more than to see her get together with Brady. Her character just happens to be Harley’s best friend on the show, but in real life you can’t stand each other, mainly because Steve never had eyes for Sharon as long as you didn’t turn him down. On top of that, Sharon’s a lousy actress and only good for numerous, pointless dramatic encounters.

“So what episode are we shooting today?,” you hear Sharon ask her niece Peggy as you, Natasha and Maria make it to the set.

Rolling your eyes with a disappointed hum, you nudge Natasha’s arm and mumble “so unprofessional, she doesn’t even know we’re shooting the Christmas special today” under your breath to the redhead.

Clapping her hands after answering Sharon, Peggy tells everyone to that we’re shooting outside and not on the set as foreseen. “Change of plans, people. Since this is still a Christmas special and there’s fresh snow outside, my personal friend and newest addition to the show, Bucky Barnes, suggested that we could shoot the outdoor scenes, in fact, outdoor.”

Her statement is met with loud cheering from some of the actors, but most of the dancers cause a little disturbance as dancing in the snow certainly isn’t easy. Eventually Peggy manages to convince them by saying she’ll buy them all hot chocolate after and next Friday off.

The general outline of today’s episode is the following: Chanel takes Harley shopping for the perfect dress for Christmas Eve as she will be spending it at Brady’s house and will meet his parents for the first time. On their way from their high school to the mall, they pass a patio surrounded by snow, where there’s a guy playing Christmas songs on a piano.

Then the camera zooms in on the new guy, August, who catches the two girls staring and invites them over to join him in his carol singing. Harley absolutely adores the Christmas spirit and decides to take him up on his offer, sitting next to him at the piano and singing along. August is enthralled by Harley’s voice and they share a few looks, sharing a beautiful moment together. Cue the dancers while the camera again zooms in on August’s face.

His face is very close to Harley’s as they finish the song, their breaths visible in the cold. Their eyes lock and a pink blush raises to her cheeks, having a very romantic moment until they’re interrupted by Chanel. They make acquaintances and bid goodbye, to which August keeps playing and Harley can’t focus on the shopping trip anymore.

“Okay, guys and girls, great work! We take a five minute break and then we do it again! I want perfection and nothing less!,” Peggy exclaims as you immediately take at least a million steps away from Sharon to get yourself a glass of water.

At the stall for food and drinks, your shoulder brushes with Bucky’s and you drop your cup, the water splashing everywhere and all over Bucky. Bucky in turn also drops his cup of coffee, the hot liquid  gushing all over you as well.

“Oh shit,” you curse as you grab some napkins to dry the stains on Bucky’s shirt, more worried about his water stains than the hot coffee stains on yours.

“Nah, don’t worry doll,” he chuckles, amused that you got so flustered by a bit of water. “Let’s go to wardrobe to change. You do know where it is, don’t you? Because I don’t and otherwise we’re lost.”

That playful, boyish glint in his eyes has an instant impact on your feelings. “Yeah, I do. Follow me.”

“That was some fine acting, Y/N. I heard you were very talented but now I got to act alongside of you, I got a taste of true talent myself.”

A small smile graces your lips as you’re turning into a red tomato after receiving such a huge compliment. “Thank you. I couldn’t help but think I’ve seen you somewhere before. Is there any chance you were in Royals? The king’s son?”

Clicking his tongue and scratching the back of his neck with a shy look, he holds the door open and lets you walk in first. “Yeah, that’s me alright. Your next question will probably be if I’m gay, right? Since my character was gay and I did such a good job…”

After finding yourself a fresh shirt and jacket, you notice Bucky is standing with his back to you, shirtless. He’s changing into a new shirt too, giving you some privacy so you can do the same. “So are you? Gay?,” you call over your shoulder to your new co-star.

“I can assure you that I am a full 100% bisexual,” he winks once you’re fully dressed again and he can turn around. His reply inspires a tiny burst of happiness in your heart, as you’re obviously not entirely oblivious to his good looks and his charms.

Offering his arm to you to escort you back to the others, you gladly accept. “Can I ask you a question, too, doll? Is it true what they say about you and Steve Rogers?”

Instantly it’s like hell has frozen over. “People say a lot of things, Bucky. You gotta be more specific,” you say in a soft voice, avoiding his eyes.

Before you’re close enough so the others might hear you, Bucky comes to a halt and searches your eyes. “Did you really threaten to cut his balls off if he tried to kiss you again?”

His grave tone and neutral expression prompt a hearty laugh from your throat, bubbling up from deep in your chest. “Yes, I did, “you confirm the rumour, still quite proud you managed to finally make it clear to Steve that you weren’t interested and never will be.

Natasha waves you over, a sign that they’re starting filming again, and you walk alongside Bucky back to the crowd. Before you party ways, Bucky being called back to the patio and piano, he leans in very close to whisper into your ear. “I’m looking forward to teaching you how to play the piano, Harley.”

“Playing the piano?” You shoot him a confused look. “For the show? No-one told me I had to learn how to play the piano for the show.”

“I’m not talking about learning how to play the piano for the show, doll. Wanda told me about your resolutions for 2018. I believe learning the piano is one of them?”

Of course it was Wanda who told him. “In that case, I’m looking forward to it too then,” you smile warmly back at him, a skip in both your step as you resume your respective places.

A day of non-stop filming with only a half hour lunch break will leave you completely exhausted at the end of the day. Especially now, when Peggy insisted on filming the closing scene for the next episode early because “the light was just perfect and she wants perfection and nothing less”.

The point of this scene is actually really simple. Brady finds out his father has a child with his high school sweetheart and that this child is August, an aspiring musician and big flirt, hellbent on winning Harley. In this scene Brady and Harley stand outside on his parents’ porch while August and Brady’s father are having a father-and-long-lost-son moment inside the house. It’s Christmas Eve and Brady is having a hard time accepting his big brother. Harley is there to convince him she loves Brady and not August and that she’ll stick by his side no matter what.

It’s so cliché and filled to the brim with tooth-rotting fluff you feel you might vomit into Steve’s mouth before you get the change to make out. “I love you, baby,” you coo innocently as you cup Brady/Steve’s face in your hands, bringing his lips to yours in a sweet, chaste kiss.

When you part away, Brady/Steve looks into your eyes as his tongue speaks words of adoration, eyes gazing lovingly into yours like you’re the only woman in the whole world. “I don’t know what I would do without you, Harley.” The scene ends with another kiss before you intertwine your fingers and head back inside to make amends with August.

When Peggy calls it a day and everyone is excused, Steve’s attitude towards you changes immediately. He commands one of the assistants to give him a tissue to wipe his mouth while grimacing in your direction. “God, I can’t wait until you break up with me because you’ve got feelings for August. Will spare me the agony of kissing you again.”

With a scoff, you turn your back on him and walk up to Natasha. “If this were a movie, I would totally have chosen him. Brady is the perfect guy. Steve on the other hand… he’s just a big jerk,” the actress snarls as she pulls you with her to the locker room.

You offer her a kind smile when she hands you a sandwich to munch, figuring you must be hungry. “Fortunately, we have Bucky now to feast our eyes on.”

“Yes, indeed,” you chuckle softly, wrapping your arm around Nat’s shoulder.

PART II/II

Tag list: @melconnor2007 @learisa @mrshopkirk @dont-speak-just-read @buckyappreciationsociety @beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep @lovemarvelousfics @pleasantdreamqueen @petersunderroos @movingonto-betterthings @palaiasaurus64 @ssweet-empowerment @lovemarvelousfics @rrwilson66 @petersunderroos  @reniescarlett   @lostinthoughtsandfeelings @barnes-heaven  @that-sokovian-bastard @abovethesmokestacks @marvelrevival  @marvel-fanfiction @justanotherbuckydevotee @barnes-heaven  @heartmade-writingbucky @buckyywiththegoodhair @captnbarnesrogers @a-little-hell-to-raise @knittingknerdy  @winterboobaer @hymnofthevalkyrie  @feelmyroarrrr @justareader @howlingbarnes  @themcuhasruinedme @buchananbarnestrash @hollycornish   @delicatecapnerd @tomhollandzs  @aletheladyinred @xbergiex @promarvelfangirl @capbuckybuchanan @pegasusdragontiger @salty-holographic-stickers  @sebstanchrisevanchickforever19 @autijahnerd13s-blahg @sophiealiice @sarahmatthews7 @lumelgy @kudosia @daringtodreamawake @moonbeambucky @suz-123 @breezy1415 @always-an-evans-addict @thegreentgirl @yourtropegirl @4theluvofall @curvybihufflepuff @caplansteverogers @amrita31199 @isnt-the-blog-youre-looking-for @pineapplebooboo @thefridgeismybestie @supernatural508 @supernaturaldean67@cant-decide-at-this-moment @mehrmonga @specs15 @kanupps06 @imnotinsanehunny @sarahgracej @jasura @nerdyandproud9 @geeksareunique @jesspfly @badassbaker @whenallsaidanddone @ailynalonso15  @thebookisbtr @animechick725 @wheneggsymetbucky

[dontshootmespence]

Candy Tax

A/N: A Halloween piece of my own making, in which Spencer, the Reader, and Penelope visit Morgan, Savannah and Hank for Halloween and all go trick-or-treating together. Happy Halloween!

                                                             ----

“And...what are you supposed to be?” Spencer asked. While Derek and Savannah were doing a kickass cosplay of Harley and the Joker, Hank was wearing nice pants, a button-up shirt, a sweater vest and a crazy gray wig. Henry had once dressed up as him, but he was pretty sure that’s not what Hank was supposed to be.

Hank bounced happily on his feet as everyone gathered in their costumes. “I’m Einstein!” How had that not clicked? Hank was an exceptionally smart child and  Morgan had come to nickname his son Einstein.

Spencer gave his godson a high-five. “I think you might be smarter than Einstein!”

“Daddy thinks so too,” Hank giggled. Just as he was about to bound out the door, Penelope joined, donning a perfect Poison Ivy cosplay, including the return of her red hair.

“Hey Red!” He gathered his arm around her and looked around the corner to see what Y/N was wearing. Maybe it would explain what the hell Spencer was supposed to be. 

When Y/N came out, she was wearing a navy blue shirt and jeans, different sized balls hanging from strings on her arms, and a sun on her slightly protruding belly. He still couldn’t believe the kid was gonna be a dad; he’d be a great father, and he deserved it. “Wait, you’re the universe!” He exclaimed. It finally dawned on him as Savannah and Penelope fawned over her costume and the soon-to-be baby. “But that still doesn’t explain what you’re supposed to be, Pretty Boy.”

Spencer looked exasperated. No one understood him. No one except Y/N that was. “Y/N, tell them what I’m supposed to be.”

“He’s Galileo!” She said excitedly, as if everyone was supposed to understand their combined nerdiness. He was wearing a long black robe with a white collar, a fake beard, and was carrying a giant telescope.

Hank must’ve noticed the perplexed faces of his mother, father and godmother because he turned around to face them. “Galileo used his telescope to change our understanding of the universe guys! Come on!” He huffed and puffed which made Spencer laugh and give his nephew a high-five again.

“Thank you, Hank! You can hang out with me and Y/N tonight. You get us.”

Giggling, Y/N looked back at Savannah and Morgan while she and Spencer each grabbed one of Hank’s hands. As they began to trick-or-treat, Morgan teased Hank about the dreaded Candy Tax. “Uncle Spencer, don’t let Dad eat my Reese’s Cups!”

Spencer scooped him up and carried him to the next house. “Don’t worry, I’ll make sure he doesn’t take any.”

“Thanks, Uncle Spencer!” 

House after house provided Hank with two tons of candy that he wouldn’t be able to finish if he ate it every day until next year. “So, Y/N, did you have any other ideas for how to dress up the baby bump?” Penelope asked. She was so excited to be getting another godchild to spoil; her job as fairy godmother would never be complete.

“Well, I definitely thought about being a pregnant zombie with baby legs and arms sticking out of my stomach,” she laughed. “We also thought about Mother Earth and Father Time, and a Chef for him and I would be the bun in the oven.” Penelope clapped her hands excitedly; she was definitely onboard with any and all ideas regarding Y/N being pregnant.

As the night wore on, Hank met up with some of his new friends from school that happened to live in the same neighborhood. None of them really understood his costume, but they also accepted it. While they were all dressing up as Spiderman or Thor or Wonder Woman, here was Einstein. For Spencer, it was nice to see his godson being accepted for who he was; he hadn’t been as lucky, so he was glad his godson was leading the same life. 

“Do you think adults would look down on me if I went up to the next house with Hank?” Y/N asked. “The baby wants peanut butter.”

Spencer chuckled and squeezed his girlfriend’s hand. “Does the baby want peanut butter or does mom want peanut butter?”

“Baby!” She scolded playfully. “And I like the sound of that.”

“What?”

“Mom.”

“Yea, me too.”

Hank bounded up from his most recent score and opened up the bag for Y/N.  “You’ve been saying the baby wants peanut butter. Do you want a peanut butter cup? I’ll share with you, but Dad still can’t give me a Candy Tax.”

“Thank you, peanut,” she said as she kissed him on the head. With a smile on his face, the little boy turned back to his friends; the adults were trailing slowly behind. “Mmmm...yes, peanut butter cup. But don’t let me have anymore because I’m pretty sure I could eat an entire bag of these right now. Savannah, what did you want to eat when you were pregnant with Hank?”

“Everything,” she laughed. “Ask Derek. I can’t tell you how many nights I had him drive down to the 24-hour convenience store for crappy ramen, Funny Bones, Flamin’ Hot Cheetos, Twizzlers...I was ravenous.”

Nearly three hours after the night had begun, Hank and his friends started to deflate, their bags of candy getting increasingly heavier as sleep overtook them.  “Hey, Einstein,” Derek called, “You ready to go home?”

“Yea,” he yawned. “But don’t eat my candy. You either either Mom! Auntie Penelope can though.”

Penelope kissed him on the cheek as he started to fall asleep on his father’s shoulder. “Thank you, baby.”

Parents began to take their children back home. All of them, adults included, were tired, especially Y/N, who was leaning her entire universe on Spencer’s Galileo as they walked back to Derek and Savannah’s home. Spencer, Y/N and Penelope were staying for a few days, so now it was time for bed. “We have to go to CVS and get clearance candy tomorrow,” Y/N said sleepily. “I want more chocolate.”

“You don’t have to do that,” Derek said, after returning from Hank’s bedroom, where he was now fast asleep. “Hank has way too much candy and we’re never going to let him eat it all. Plus, I need my candy tax.”

He reached into the bag and grabbed a Kit Kat. Savannah and Penelope grabbed Tootsie Pops, and Spencer and Y/N grabbed peanut butter cups. “I enjoy the candy tax,” Spencer laughed. He stared at Y/N’s belly and started talking to the baby. “I’m letting you know now that Daddy is going to impose a candy tax. Okay baby?”

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