Tumgik
#now i’m like whatever i had fun but you do learn a lot about yourself and others in a relationship and i never had that so i feel so dumb
ashmp3 · 5 months
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i don’t think people realize how alienating and lonely it is to not have romantic interactions as a teen. Not that i think being in a relationship at that age would do me any good but it would make me feel more normal and less unlovable for sure
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wandurlvst · 3 months
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Baby Trouble
ken sato x gn!reader one shot
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notes: this is my first time publishing my writing so IM REALLY NERVOUS, but i hope you enjoy 😭 and yes i know ken calls ami for kid advice but let’s just say he called you instead 🤗
warnings: none! just wholesome fluff with slight crack tbh
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ever since you could remember you’ve always wanted to raise a family. either that’d be your biological children or adoptive. i guess you could say it came from your own parents—how they were able to raise someone who isn’t themselves so well-
BZZ BZZ BZZ
a buzz pulled you from your thoughts—your phone was ringing from the other end of the couch. you placed the remote of the tv down and checked the contact. it was ken—an old friend of yours. you’ve known him since you were kids and shares many things in common. “i need to work in the morning, ken.” “i know- i know. but i need your help.”
you sighed, “and what could be so important that i’m needed this late?” “just come over.” the call ended, you looked at the black screen and decided to just visit for a minute. it can’t hurt
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you exited your vehicle and ascended the stairs. you raised your fist to knock on the door. but before you could, you were pulled inside quickly. “woah!”
“took your sweet time didn’t you?” ken said in a very annoyed tone, “well it didn’t sound like an emergency.” you shrugged, “whatever just follow me.”
“what is this about ken? it’s getting late- and don’t you have a game tomorrow?” “that- that can wait.” he led you two to the giant elevator that led down to his basement. “don’t scream okay?” “what do you mean…?” once the doors opened you were met with a giant pink baby kaiju who was in a large cage. but of course your first instinct was to scream—but ken covered your mouth just before you did. “what did i just say!?” he released your face, “i can’t help it! it’s a kaiju and why is it your house in the first place?”
“you saw what happened after my first game with the giants- and the KDF wanted to take her so…” “you took her instead.” “yeah.” you approached the glass wall of the cage and the baby cried as if she was going to be hurt by you, you all covered your ears and ken jumped in front of you. “mina!” the ai surrounded the cage with images and videos of ken playing baseball—distracting the infant, “so why did you need me here again?”
he sighed, “i need help- or advice on how you raise her.” “i’ve never raised a kaiju, ken.” “i know that! i mean a kid. what would a normal baby need?”
you stepped towards the infant again now that she was distracted, “well she isn’t a normal baby. but she’d need a lot of attention at her age- you’ll need to feed her, wash her, uh- figure out the whole potty training situation, the five s’s- mina could teach you that-“ “we’ve already started.” she chimed in.
“oh and don’t get me started on the constant lack of sleep. now i know i don’t have kids of my own- but from what my parents told me i was a nightmare when i was a baby.” you were in your own world rambling on and on about baby advice—you didn’t notice ken right next to you
“how about we do that?” he commented, you were confused—naturally. “do what?” you turned to him
“raise her. together. like parents.” he noticed you staring at him and he grew nervous that his idea was ridiculous, “i mean- since you’re basically the expert i could learn along the way- i don’t want you doing all the hard work. but i understand if you’d say no- you have a lot on your plate already“
“ken.”
“yeah?”
“i’ll help you.” you smiled, “it won’t be easy but, it could be fun.” this time you calmly called to the infant. introducing yourself. the baby smiled and was entertained by you. ken smiled at the immediate bond you two had and he knew it would work
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gurugirl · 6 months
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ex-boyfriend's dad!harry part 3
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Summary: You get to try things with Harry you never had the chance to before but the more you get to know him the more of him you want. And that's a problem.
A/N: This full series is already live on Patreon, with all 4 parts up! Part 4 will be posted here in one week.
Word Count: 8.3k
Series Warnings: explicit content, smut (including anal, rough blow jobs), age gap, angst, daddy kink, dom/sub dynamics, spanking, choking, slight degradation, use of small implements (collar and leash, anal plug)
Part 3 Warnings: 18+ only, smut (including spitting, spanking, use of toys, a leash, & anal with a dildo), daddy kink, unwanted feelings of attachment, angst, age gap, sub/dom dynamics
ex-boyfriend's dad!harry masterlist
. . .
Harry thought he’d feel more guilty once the reality of what he was doing hit him. Fucking his son’s ex-girlfriend. But instead, he only felt delighted that you were even interested. He was disappointed in Tyler, to be honest. The more he learned about how he���d treated you, the less Harry was worried about what Tyler might think. His son never deserved you.
And he wasn’t just excited that he had an open invitation for kinky hot sex with a lovely young woman who wanted to learn the ropes but he was also excited because you were sweet and he trusted you. You trusted him just the same which was why it was such a fantastic arrangement.
When he saw your text the moment he left your apartment - Can you come over tonight? He couldn’t stop grinning to himself all day.
So he packed a bag on the off chance you’d want him to stay the whole weekend, and he had a few things he wanted to bring that he could introduce you to.
You were already raring to go the moment you let him into your apartment. You wanted to try so many things and get started right away but Harry had other plans as he pulled you in by your neck and planted a big kiss on your lips as he dropped his leather duffel bag by the front door.
“Let’s talk first. Okay? Remember I told you we’d go over rules and boundaries? We still need to do that.” He pushed you toward your couch, walking you backward with his hand wrapped around the front of your throat.
That gesture of dominance alone had you hot. And Harry could tell you liked it.
You both sat on your couch, “Sorry. Just got so excited. I trust whatever you like and want to try.”
Harry grinned, “I’m excited too,” he softly smoothed his hand up your thigh, “Just want to get a few things out of the way first and then we can get to it.”
You nodded and angled yourself toward him, “Okay. You’re right.”
“I know I am,” he squeezed your thigh, “How was work?”
You laughed, “Work? Is that what you want to talk about?”
Harry sighed and sat back against the cushion, “Yeah. Why not? Are you in a hurry and suggesting we don’t have time to talk about how our day was?”
“No. I didn’t mean that. I’m not in a hurry. Just thought… I don’t know,” you shrugged, “I think it would be nice to talk. I didn’t really know what to expect when you got here I guess.”
“Well, let’s start with this,” he rubbed his hand over the top of your thigh in this way that had you feeling a little calmer. “So tell me how your day was.”
You recounted various parts of your day, but nothing that was particularly interesting. The most fascinating thing had been Harry, obviously. And now he was sitting on your couch with a hand on your thigh and his eyes searing into you.
“And what about you? How was your day?” You hesitantly put your hand over Harry’s and began to play with his rings.
“Normal. Except for the little secret I carried with me all day. Couldn’t stop thinking about last night. How do you feel about everything?”
You lifted your bum to tuck your leg underneath yourself and licked your lips, “Well… I liked everything you did. I had a lot of fun. I want more.”
Harry watched you wiggle and adjust your seating with a smirk, “Okay. We can do more. Are you feeling sad about Tyler or anything like that?”
You shook your head, “No. Absolutely not. I think you kind of erased him from my mind. It’s already better with you.”
He nodded, “Cause if we keep seeing each other, at some point, there’s a chance he’s going to find out. If I have you over one night I’m not gonna want you to keep quiet,” he brought a hand up to your jaw, “I don’t want to rub it in his face or anything, but we can only keep so quiet can’t we?”
You grinned and nodded. Just the thought of your ex hearing his dad fucking you made you wet. What was wrong with you?
“Let’s talk about using colors for things you like and don’t like. Yeah?”
You nodded again.
“Green means you like everything I’m doing. With no hesitation. I’ll ask you occasionally what your color is and if you’re green we’ll keep going. Understood?”
Another nod of your head as you kept your eyes pinned to his.
“Good. Yellow and red will stop everything. For yellow, if you ever feel like you might not like something but you aren’t sure, that’s yellow. We’ll talk about it and change it up if we need to or explore it more if you want. You need to say yellow if you ever get to the point of being unsure and you don’t need to wait for me to check in. Got it?”
“Yes.”
“Now red means we’re done with the session. That means I’ve gone too far and didn’t pay attention to your cues. We’ll discuss what went wrong and we’ll never do it again. It means you unquestionably did not like something and that it’s not something you ever want to try again. You’ll say red even if I don’t check in if you get to this point. However, we want to avoid red. That’s what yellow is for. Red means we’re not in synch and this won’t work if we’re not communicating. Makes sense?”
You nodded again.
“Now, explain to me what your colors mean. I want to make sure you understand it clearly so there’s no confusion when it’s needed.”
You cleared your throat and spoke, with as much confidence as you could muster. You already knew about the traffic light system but you’d never been in a relationship where it was going to be used. You appreciated Harry’s thoroughness.
“Green means all good and that I like what’s happening. If something doesn’t feel as good that I want to come back to later or like… I’m not sure if I enjoy it I’ll say yellow. And red means I don’t like something. I’ll tell you my color when you check in but if I feel yellow or red I’ll tell you right away without waiting for you to check. And… red is something we want to avoid,” you licked your lips and nodded.
“Very good. Anything you want to ask or say before we get started? I can just feel the excitement bubbling off of you honey.”
You laughed and looked down at your lap before tilting your head back up to look at him, “I just want you to kind of lead. I loved giving you a blow job last night. I want more of that. Want it like… maybe, even more rough today. I just want to feel like,” you puffed out an embarrassed laugh, “Want to feel like I’m being used. Kind of like you need to teach me a lesson or something. Like I’ve been bad.”
“Oh yeah? You like to be punished then? Maybe you want Daddy to tell you how bad you’ve been? What a naughty girl you are. Only way to set you straight is to fuck your face and spank your ass?” He had a teasing grin on his face.
You swallowed and nodded, “Yeah. Exactly.” You ran your hand up his thigh and kept your eyes on his.
“Do you feel like only good girls get to have orgasms, Y/n?”
You nodded again, “Yeah. Only when I’m good I’m allowed.”
Harry grinned and hummed, “I think I see. Go into your bedroom and take all of the toys out that you like to use on yourself. Line them up on your bed for me so I can take count.”
You got up from the couch and Harry followed you to your bedroom and watched as you pulled a large box from your dresser and then laid it on your bed.
Removing each of your toys and placing them on your comforter.
There was your basic silicon dildo, then the slim one you used on yourself for anal. You had three plugs in different sizes, a clit sucker that had lost charge the last time you used it, a normal-sized purple vibrator, a massaging wand (that was meant to be a back massager but you’d never used it for its intended purpose) then a tiny pocket vibrator you’d only used a handful of times. Plus condoms, lube, and a leather strap that could double as a collar and leash in one.
Harry watched you straighten out everything and picked up the leather strap, “Is this a leash?”
You nodded, “Yeah. I bought it last year but I’ve never used it. Thought it would be fun to try but… well I didn’t want to use it alone in case something went wrong.”
He nodded and kept the leather in his hands as he looked at everything else you had lined up.
“Good. This is excellent. You’ve got some great toys here. Which is your favorite?”
You laughed and ran your hands over the basic vibrator, “I love this. It just vibrates my insides and it’s quiet so I can use it even if my roommate is home. Also this,” you picked up your clit sucker, “It works super fast. Can make me come in like two minutes if I’m in a hurry.”
Harry smiled and took the clit sucker from you to click it on but it was dead.
“Oh… it ran out of charge. I use it a lot.”
He dropped it on your bed and looked you up and down, “Bet you do. Poor thing didn’t ever get her pussy licked properly. Had to take care of herself. But Daddy’s here for that now. Isn’t he?”
You watched his jaw clench as he stepped directly in front of you and he cupped your chin in his palm as you nodded.
“Anything else you use that isn’t here?”
It was like he could read your mind somehow. Like he could see it on your face that you had a little secret.
You nodded and felt your face heat up, “Yeah. One more thing.”
Harry cocked his head, “And where is it?”
You laughed quietly and looked away from his eyes, “It’s in my… bottom.”
He released your face and took a step back, “Get your clothes off.”
You pulled your shirt off quickly and then your pants before moving your hands up to the band of your bra to take it off. You watched Harry closely as you removed every article of fabric that covered you until your panties were on the floor and you were standing naked before him.
“Well? Are you going to show me willingly or do you need me to force you to bend over so I can see what it is you have tucked in your bum?”
Harry knew very well what you had inside of your ass. You had a fourth plug and he wanted to see it. Liked that you’d put it in when you knew he was coming over. You were indeed a dirty little thing and he was going to have a lot of fun with you.
This was what you liked. It’s what you had been wanting. Something about his tone made it clear that he was in charge. The spike of adrenaline that notched its way up every vertebra in your spine gave you a disjointed, hazy sensation that spread over your limbs.
You turned and stepped in toward your bed before leaning down to press your palms onto the mattress next to your bottle of lube. You turned to look over your shoulder at the man who was right behind you, towering over you as he laid his palms on your hips and glued his eyes to the space between your legs and then just up to where you had the prettiest of your anal plugs snuggled tight in your bum.
Harry’s eyes shot to yours and you felt one of his hands drag up your spine to the back of your neck and he pressed your cheek down into the mattress, “When did you put this in?”
“I… after I got home from work today. Two hours ago.”
His hand stayed at the back of your neck as you felt his other hand move toward your bottom and then tap the pink glass plug making you jump, “And why did you put it in?”
“Wanted it to be pretty for you.” You gulped down your saliva and tried peeking at him from your peripheral but it was impossible.
“For me? Well, that was awfully sweet of you. And how did you do it? What is your method of putting one of these in?” He gently twisted the glass a half turn and you moaned.
“Uh… I work myself up thinking about something sexy. Finger myself a little bit and then put lube over everything and slowly twist it in until it’s fit inside.”
“And what did you think about this time that got you all worked up?” His voice was suddenly closer and you could see the outline of him leaning over your back.
You closed your eyes as you felt the fabric of his pants brush against the back of your thighs, “You, Daddy.”
Harry hummed in satisfaction as he let go of the back of your neck, and you felt both of his hands on your ass, keeping you spread for him.
“Has anyone else ever seen how pretty you look with one of these in?”
“No. It’s always just been in private.” You don’t think you’d ever felt in such a vulnerable position with a man before. To have someone standing behind you in your bedroom while you were bent over naked showing him your pink glass anal plug made your skin heat up all over.
“So I’m the first person who’s been given permission to see you like this?”
“Yes. You’re the first.”
“And what should we do with this right now? Hmm? You’re being such a good girl for Daddy I think it’s only fair you choose what’s next.”
You already knew what you wanted. It was all you could think about the whole day. At work, while you ate lunch, on the way home… You wanted his cock down your throat again.
“I want you to fuck my face. Please.”
Harry laughed and you felt him move away, his hands no longer on you anymore, “Is that so? Couldn’t get enough of my cock down your throat, baby?”
You shook your head no with your cheek still smushed in the comforter, “No. I need more. I want to try to be better.”
You heard Harry remove his belt and watched it drop onto the mattress as the buckles clanked together before the sound of a zipper and then fabric hitting the ground had you straining to see behind you.
“Good girls get what they want, Y/n. And since you’re practically being an angel I’ll fuck your face if that’s what you want. Turn around to face me.”
You stood up and faced Harry, noticing he was naked now, his thickened cock in his palm, as he placed his free hand at the back of your head and ran his lips over yours for a moment, mouths slotting together until he broke the kiss and let go of the back of your head, “Pick up the leather strap and get on your knees.”
A small grin quirked up on your face as you did as he said and lowered to your floor, your knees digging into your cotton rug with the leather strap in your hands.
He reached down to tilt your face upward, “Look at this pretty face and those soft lips,” he cooed at you as he pushed at your bottom lip with his thumb, “You sure you want this? Because when I’m done with you you’re gonna have tears running down your cheeks and drool dripping from your swollen lips down your chin. Bruised knees and maybe a bruised throat even. It’s gonna make it hard for you to talk.”
You nodded and tightened your grip on the strap as you looked from his dick to his face, “I want it, Daddy.”
He looked over your face with an amused smile on his lips and bent down to press his lips to yours, “Then Daddy wants it too.”
Harry reached his palm down for the leather strap and wrapped the material around your neck, hooking the thin leather into a notch that was tight, but not so tight you’d lack oxygen.
With his hand stroking his cock right in front of your face he pulled the strap back making your head tilt with it, “Color?”
Your eyes wobbled from the tight fist he had around the strap to his eyes, “Very green.”
Harry gave you a dimpled grin that felt so much sweeter than the moment called for, “Very green.  Good.”
He pulled at the strap, moving your face to his cock, “Get it nice and wet. Want to see that tongue cover every inch of my cock before you’re allowed to suck on it.”
Opening your mouth and sticking out your tongue you began to lap at the skin along his length. Pushing saliva out of your mouth and pressing it over his cock slowly as you kept your eyes up toward his and you could feel the strap pulling at your neck, guiding you along his shaft.
You moaned when you flattened your tongue over his slit and his mouth parted. Even though he didn’t make any noises to indicate he liked it, you could see it on his face.
With every line and curve of his cock wetted, he dragged you back to his tip, pressing it to your lips, “Time to suck now, Y/n. Still want Daddy to fuck your throat?”
You nodded, your lips brushing over his ruddy crown, “Yes.”
“You won’t be able to speak once I’m sliding into the back of your throat,” his finger squeezed the outsides of your neck around the strap, “So you need to pinch me here,” he took your hand and made you hold onto his sturdy thigh, “Do you understand?”
Another nod as you kept your eyes on his.
“Give it a test pinch. Let me see what you’ll do if you need air or need me to stop.”
You pinched his skin under your thumb and pointer finger but Harry tutted at you, “Harder. I need you to be serious about the way you do this so I can feel it, honey. When my balls are tucked against your chin and you’re swallowing around me I’m not gonna feel a puny pinch like that. Try again.”
You puffed out a breath and pinched harder. A pinch you knew he’d feel without question.
“There you go. That’s the one. Stung like a fucker. You ready, baby?”
You smiled, “Ready, Daddy.”
Harry softly shook his head as he looked at you proudly before he forced your mouth back against his tip and the moment you parted your lips he was yanking you down his cock. He didn’t push his whole length in on the first go but he did get deep enough that your eyes widened and you pulled in a deep breath through your nose to prepare for the next thrust.
And the next one was the same; deep but not punishing. And then the third until you’d figured out the rhythm and your tongue cradled the underside of his cock and he let out a deep breath that had you feeling pleased with yourself.
When you felt him slide deeper and your sinuses stung your mouth began to water involuntarily. His deep breaths turned into pants as he kept his hand tight around the strap to hold you in place and he started to thrust deeper.
“Fuckin’ so pretty for me, baby,” he spoke as he looked down at you, hips rocking smoothly, slowly getting you ready for what was to come. “Already drooling and we haven’t even gotten to the good part yet.”
You couldn’t help the saliva that was dripping out of your mouth. His cock sliding over your tongue and nudging at the roof of your mouth activated your salivary glands.
You hollowed your cheeks and sucked as you peeked up at him.
“Take a deep breath in through your nose,” he spoke.
You sucked oxygen into your lungs as he slid his tip back to your lips and then the sudden plunge of his cock over your tongue had you immediately gagging. With your neck held in place, Harry bucked his hips into your mouth and you felt him curve down your throat, and again, and again.
You began to sputter as you felt tears slip down your cheeks and then suddenly his hips were pressed against you as he rocked in and moaned loudly. You couldn’t breathe as you gagged around him, your natural reflex was to swallow and gurgle.
But it was his deep guttural moan that kept you focused. You were making him feel good. And that was all you wanted.
“That’s it, isn’t it? Like how it feels don’t you, little girl?”
You moaned and tried to look up at him but your eyes were bleary and all you could see was the skin on his hips and the dark ink of his laurel tattoos as he continued pressing you down on him.
“Bet your little plug is feeling so good too… fuck…” Harry pulled himself back as you coughed and a gush of spit dripped down your chin and to the floor.
He chuckled when you tried to tilt forward to put him back in your mouth, “Go on then. Suck Daddy off. Just so desperate to gag on it aren’t you?”
You moaned as you curved your tongue under his cock and lowered yourself. Harry let you take the reins for a bit as you forced your mouth down and felt his tip press past your tonsils and you gagged again with your eyes tightly squeezed shut.
The only thing you had on your brain was to get him off. To please him. You wanted him to come more than you wanted to rub your own clit to get yourself off.
Every time you dipped down and the deeper you went the further away any other thoughts became. Everything was all about getting him to come.
Harry grunted and then you felt the strap pulling at your neck again to hold you in place as he began to fuck himself down your throat.
His cock was already twitching at the way your mouth engulfed him in wet heat, the way your throat constricted around his tip and frenulum every time you gagged and swallowed. His heart was pounding the closer he got to his own release and he recognized you were taking him like a pro. Like you’d been choking on cocks for years. It’d been a long time since anyone he’d been with liked this sort of thing.
And you loved it.
With your palms on his muscled thighs, the gargled noises coming from your mouth, the drool on the floor, and your pussy slippery wet you moaned deeply around him as more tears fell down your skin and mixed with the saliva leaking from your lips.
He pulled back again, letting you suck in just enough air so he could do it all over again. When you felt the thatch of his hair pressing into your nose, the leather strap pinching the skin on your neck as you were held in place, he groaned and you could feel his thighs begin to tremble just before he pulled his cock all the way out of your mouth.
You gasped and coughed as you leaned forward, spit dribbling out of your mouth and making a puddle on your rug.
The nip of the strap on your neck had you looking up at him through wet lashes and then you felt his hands under your arms helping you stand on wobbly legs, “Color?”
You heaved and grasped onto his arms, “Green.”
“Good. I’m gonna finish off inside of your pretty pussy. How’s that sound?”
You nodded, “Yes, Daddy.” You were somewhat knocked off kilter from the sudden change in position as he pushed you onto the bed, making you bend over for him on your hands and knees with your feet hanging off.
He took your hips in his hands and stood behind you, his feet on the floor as you automatically pressed your face into the comforter. You felt the spray of spit over your pussy and you moaned as you arched your back and pushed your bum back toward him.
His hands smoothed down to your ass and you felt his thumb press on the glass piece sticking out of your bum, “Look at how soaked you are, baby. You really do like sucking cock don’t you?”
You smiled and sighed, “Yes. Love it, Daddy.”
Harry grinned, though you couldn’t see it as he painted his thick crown through your puffy folds, slicking himself back and forth, “Fuck yourself on it. Get yourself off on my cock.”
You felt him poking at your entrance so you pressed yourself back as Harry kept his length steady in his hand.
“There you go, baby, just like that. Let me see you work for it, honey.”
You swiveled your hips and pushed yourself down further, feeling his girth open you up.
Harry pressed into you, holding you tight by your hips and then he pushed you further into the bed making you scoot up a few feet. He followed behind you spreading his thighs and getting onto his knees behind you, “Keep going, baby.”
When you felt his hand press at the back of your neck to keep you down you moaned and began to swivel your hips. And even though you were supposed to be the one fucking yourself on him, you could feel his subtle thrusts, working himself into you deeper with his thighs.
The little plug was a tight squeeze in your ass with his cock inside of you but it felt so good. Every movement of your hips made the plug shift slightly and even Harry could feel the hard glass pressing through your anus against his cock in your pussy.
The cry that fell from your mouth when he began twisting the plug inside of you had him chuckle, “You okay, Y/n?”
You whimpered a yes as you continued circling your hips, pressing your cunt over his cock wetly.
But then suddenly Harry let go of your neck and you felt both of his hands on your ass as he held you still and began fucking himself into you.
The switch in sensation had your body tingling as he dipped in so far you felt the wind punched from your lungs.
Harry’s own moans grew louder and more desperate with each strike of his hips against your ass but then he leaned over your back and you felt his fingers sliding through your crease until he bumped into your clit and ran the pads of his fingers in circles against your neglected nub.
You gasped at the relief as Harry rocked inward, his hips pasted to your ass.
“Daddy it’s so deep!” You whimpered with his cock fully impaled into your cunt. He couldn’t have been deeper if he tried.
“I know baby,” he inhaled breathily with a moan as he continued pressing in, in, in… his back and his thighs flexing with every push.
He wasn’t going hard but he was achingly deep with his fingers at your clit and the plug tight in your bum, everything felt just right. But when you felt his lips on your neck you began to quiver and you could feel that yummy sparkle start to spread over your thighs and through your core.
His breath against the shell of your ear sent chills down your neck and over your shoulders as your body began to tense and your walls gripped his cock tightly.
“You need to come, baby? Yeah? It’s feeling so good, isn’t it?”
Your mouth dropped open as you choked out a pathetic wail, “Oh my god! Yes!”
When your pussy began to spasm over him he groaned at the feel of you coming, “There we go… Can’t help yourself, can you? Know you never had it like this before, honey. Your pussy deserves to feel so good,” Harry’s words fell over your neck and you could hear how far gone he was as he babbled filth into your ear, “Needed Daddy’s cock to make it better, yeah?”
You couldn’t answer as you clenched the blankets in your fists and your body shivered in your orgasm.
“Fuck baby… squeezing around me so good,” he spoke through clenched teeth, “Gonna stuff your little fertile pussy full of my come, okay?”
You whined an obnoxiously loud Yes, Daddy! into the room and you heard him cough out a deep groan before his cock began to pump and throb inside of you. Your own orgasm still making your pussy clench around him tightly, milking his shaft and sucking him dry.
Harry rocked into you and fucked you forward, making you flatten to the bed as he finished himself inside you just like he said he was going to do.
You panted in deep breaths as he kissed your shoulder blades and he shifted behind you, “You okay, Y/n?”
You sputtered out a small laugh and smiled, “So fucking good.”
Harry pulled his cock from you and rolled you to your back. You felt him unhooking the strap around your neck and pulling it from you as you opened your eyes to look up at him. Lifting a hand to press over his heart you sighed, “Thank you.”
Harry paused and settled his gaze on yours as one side of his mouth curved up in a soft smile, “So sweet,” he brought a hand up to your cheek, “Thank you, Y/n.”
He helped you clean up as you laid flat on your back, still out of it, but with an easy smile on your face, “How was that?”
“Harry, that was… it was so good. I want more, though. Harder too.”
He laughed as he lay on his side next to you and smoothed his palm over your belly and squeezed at your tits, “Understood. We can try a few new things next time. See what else you like. We just want to ease into this, though. Okay?”
You nodded as you smiled at him. This was something else you loved. The way he was with you after sex. Tyler didn’t bother with you once he’d gotten off. But Harry seemed to enjoy basking with you after.
“Did you eat before I came over?”
You laughed and rolled your eyes before shaking your head, “I don’t usually eat dinner until later and you got here before my usual dinner time.”
You felt Harry’s thumb press over your hardened nipple, “I see. Well, we need to make sure we’re eating, don’t we? Let’s go get you some food.”
. . .
“Harry please?!” You were trying to be patient with his rule of slowly introducing things but he insisted on not diving right into everything. You wanted him to fuck your ass.
You woke up that morning with Harry’s hard cock pressing into your bottom. So you slid yourself up and down his shaft until he woke up completely and he slowly fucked you with his arms wrapped tight around your middle and his chest pressed into your back lying on your sides, your pussy filled with him until you were both coming in that sleepy, early morning daze.
Harry laughed from behind you after he’d just filled you with his come, “I just made you come, Y/n,” he still had you in his arms as he spoke against your neck from behind.
“I want you inside of my ass. You wouldn’t do it yesterday. Only put your fingers in. I want to feel your big cock, Daddy.”
Harry did love how much you liked sex but sometimes it did come as a surprise. A puff of his breath hit the shell of your ear, “Well right now I’m not physically able to anyway. Need to recover for a while because I just came. But I can give you something else. We can use your dildo if you want. How does that sound?”
You pouted but you knew better than to complain. Harry had already shown you so much in such a short span of time. It was Sunday morning and you two had been enjoying each other all weekend, getting to know one another.
“Okay.”
Harry released you from his arms and you jumped when his palm landed down on your sore bottom, “Hands and knees.”
You adjusted yourself as he asked and watched him hop off your bed to open up your box of toys. He picked up the slim anal dildo and your regular-sized silicon dildo before kneeing up behind you and placing his palms over your bottom. You felt the cool wetness from the lube he poured over your ass and then felt his fingers pressing it gently inside of you, making you push back into his hand.
“Want one here, and here?” He poked at your pussy entrance with his free hand, “Or just anal right now?”
You turned to look at him behind you, “Maybe just the one for now. My pussy is so sensitive after everything we did yesterday.” You laughed.
Harry grinned at you and nodded, “Fair enough.”
He started by fingering you. It was slow and he moved his free hand over your bum softly, “Probably gonna get rock hard again just watching this. So pretty back here. Little pussy dripping with my come, your ass opening up for my fingers...”
Despite your pussy being a bit wrecked from Harry’s big cock, you were still wet and turned on. Clearly.
Harry moved his fingers out and then dipped in to kiss your hole. You felt his lips peck gently over you and then he picked up the dildo, adding more lube to it.
“Can you turn to look at me? Want to be able to see your face at first so I can make sure you’re feeling good.”
You turned to look at him over your shoulder. He was so handsome. Thick curls all wild and strewn about from sleep and sex, his strong chest gently rising and falling, pink lips curved up in a smile…
He lifted the slim toy up so you could see it, “Ready?” He asked as he smeared his thumb over your anus.
You nodded with a smile, “Yes.”
He lowered his gaze to your ass and you felt the tip of the toy press into your anus. You tilted your hips down and arched your back for a better angle as you kept your eyes on his face.
He was slow and steady with his movements but you were used to the dildo by then. As he pushed it past your hole and dipped it in as far as it would comfortably go on the first thrust you moaned softly.
“Feels okay?” He moved his eyes from where he was working you open to your face.
“Feels good.” You nodded and licked your lips.
It was hard to explain how it felt to have your ass filled with a toy. It was interesting. But a really good kind of interesting. An interesting that you craved and you just knew that having Harry inside of you would be even better. A warm thick cock attached to a handsome, strong man that you could trust would just be the best.
When he began to thrust into you his lips parted at the sight and you swayed your hips slightly as the toy began to take up that space and bump into whatever was in there that had your body shaking.
Harry grinned, “You okay?” He knew you were. He just liked hearing you tell him how good you were feeling.
You groaned and stitched your brows together as you nodded, ‘Yes, Daddy…”
It gave you that ache that you never experienced with vaginal sex. It was something so deep and full feeling, so raunchy and vulgar. You loved it.
“You’re shaking already, baby. Is this what happens when you do it yourself?”
You panted, “Yeah. It’s like my body just can’t stop. It feels really good.” Even your words were shaky.
Harry pumped the toy in and out and then used his other hand to slide delicately over your folds and up to your clit, “Want me to rub you here? Or is it too sensitive?”
The pads of his long fingers stroking softly over your clit was exactly what you needed. You gasped and dropped your head with your mouth dropped open, “Don’t stop. Just like that, Daddy.”
So he didn’t stop. Harry did it exactly right. It was perfect with his gentle fingers on your bud, soft thrusts that he deepened as your moans grew louder and your body shook harder. He could tell you could take more and that was quite exciting. It meant you might be ready for his cock soon enough.
“Oh, honey…” Harry breathed, “Fucking so pretty. Just dripping and clenching. Gonna come for Daddy?”
You nodded as your head hung down. You were already two steps away from your orgasm. That was another thing about anal. It was a guarantee you’d come and depending on the moment you could come very fast. And having Harry fuck you with your dildo like he was with his fingers slipping back and forth on your clit, it was one of those moments.
Your whole body began to burn as your muscles tensed and you cried out, “I’m coming, Daddy! Oh my god! Oh my god!”
Harry held back his laugh of surprise. He couldn’t believe how hard your body was shivering and the way you clamped over the toy, he could hardly slip it in any further so he let you roll your hips and shake and cry as he kept the pads of his fingers on your clit. It was the fastest he’d ever seen any woman come. And he knew there was so much to explore with you. You two were just getting started.
You collapsed onto your tummy the moment Harry pulled the toy from you and he kissed his way up from your bum to your shoulders, “How was that, baby? Did I do it right?”
You smiled to yourself with your eyes closed, “Perfect. So good. But I want your cock next time.”
Harry laughed and pulled you into his arms, as seemed to be the norm. He ran a hand over your cheek and kissed your forehead, “What time does your roommate come back?”
You looked up at him and placed your palm on the butterfly tattoo, “I think early afternoon. Probably should go before she gets here, huh?”
Harry shrugged, “If you want me to.”
“I don’t want you to,” you smiled at him.
“Okay. Then I’ll make you breakfast. How’s that sound?”
. . .
You learned quickly that Harry, while loving to be rough with you in bed, had an innate need to take care of you at the same time. You got used to him fucking the life out of you and then making you something to eat afterward.
It was usually during the time he was in your kitchen, naked, making you a meal that you learned about one another. He asked you lots of questions. About your parents, your job, your friends, and even things like what your favorite television show was.
You learned that he and his ex co-parented while raising Tyler and they always got along just fine but they never really got past that casual stage in their relationship before she got pregnant. Tyler had been an accident baby. Despite Harry wearing condoms he got his ex pregnant. They were both seeing other people by the time she realized it and they never saw the need to get married.
And Harry learned that your mom mostly raised you. You did see your dad once in a while when he was around but for the most part, he wasn’t in your life. He was in the military and your parents married young when they found out she was pregnant. But he was hardly ever there to help raise you. She wound up divorcing him when she learned he was sleeping with other women. You hadn’t seen him in over a year when you told him that story.
Getting closer to Harry was easy by the time you’d been sleeping with him for a couple of months. He was exactly what you wanted in a partner, but that was dangerous because you were certain the arrangement you had with him was always meant to be casual. So you tried not to let yourself overthink things with him. But that was hard because of how attentive he was and how he just seemed to get you without even trying.
The connection you had with him was so much better than it was with Tyler. Leaps and bounds better. You were thankful Tyler was just a part of your past now. You realized, partly thanks to Harry, that you deserved a hell of a lot better than your ex. You kind of wished Harry would suggest making things a little more exclusive. Because he was all you could really think about. You felt like if there was anyone you did deserve, well maybe that could be Harry.
But those thoughts and those feelings were pushed way way down and swallowed up by your better judgment. You couldn’t let yourself get too lost in him. Not until he gave you some sign that he felt the same or wanted more of you. Because you were most certainly not going to be the one to tell him what was really happening to you under the surface. You had to keep working to make sure those emotions stayed in check.
You didn’t see him every week, and maybe the fact that you didn’t have full access to him was what was making you feel the things you were. Sometimes you drove yourself crazy wondering what he was up to on evenings you were free when he was busy. You didn’t know if maybe there was someone else he might be interested in. You were too scared to ask him that. It could be possible you supposed, because Harry was the whole package. Any woman would throw themselves at the chance to date him. You were sure he wasn’t having sex with anyone else because you two weren’t using condoms and he told you that you would both be honest if that needed to change. But that didn’t make you feel all that much better because your feelings for him were starting to sprout big green leaves and take root deep in your heart. It was too much.
And that became exhausting to tamp down.
. . .
Harry’s chest was still rising and falling rapidly after you’d just swallowed down every drop of his come. You wiped the tears from your face and the drool off your chin as he helped you stand up.
The plan had been to try anal sex for the first time that night. Harry had been using your little dildo to get you ready, your plugs helped, and his fingers too. You’d been begging him for it but he always wanted to take things easy. One step at a time he said. And he meant it. He only introduced one or two new things every time you saw him.
“Bend over the bed, sweetheart.”
You did as he said as your head swirled with thoughts and feelings you didn’t want to have surfaced.
He was gentle with you as he placed his palm on your butt cheek to pull at it and used his other hand to twist and slowly bring the plug out.
He hissed when he saw your puckered hole and he dipped two fingers in, pressing into your bum in the way only Harry could.
You hid your face in the crook of your arm and felt the moisture from the tears that had been forced from your eyes when he was gagging you with his cock.
And the way your heart was pounding in your chest, you could hardly hear him asking you a question.
“Hey,” Harry lifted you up and sat down with you on the bed, “Are you okay?”
All his check-ins and his softness, those eyes looking at you with such care, and the way his voice and hands comforted you had you tearing up again. But this time the tears were coming from emotion.
“I’m okay,” your lip quivered and you turned away from him. You felt silly to get so overemotional but you couldn’t help it.
You felt Harry shift on the bed and then pull your back against his chest as he scooted into your pillows against your headboard, “Don’t say you’re okay when you’re not. Tell me what happened.”
You sniffed and took a deep breath, trying to control the way your heart wanted you to burst into mawkish tears that would surely have him ending the whole thing with you.
“I can’t…” you inhaled sharply, “It’s fine…”
Harry gripped your chin and made you turn your head to look at him, “You need to communicate to me what happened so I can fix it. I can’t make this better if you don’t tell me what’s wrong.”
You blinked and a gush of tears were pushed from your lashes as you shook your head and kept your mouth shut.
“Okay. That’s okay. Let’s just sit here for a little while. Take a deep breath…” he smoothed his palm over your arm and it made your heart blossom even more, those windy sprouts trying to work budding flowers open, but that only made you cry harder.
He tried to calm you down. He was doing everything right; holding you close to his chest, speaking quietly into your ear, running his gentle hands over your skin… but that was the problem. It all felt too good. It all felt too real.
You moved yourself out of his arms and climbed off your bed to find your sweater, “I… uh…” you looked around your floor and grabbed the material to pull over your head, “Need some sleep I think. Sorry. Maybe we can see each other another night,” your words tumbled out unsteadily.
Harry followed after you as he slid his briefs up his legs, “What’s going on? Y/n you need to talk to me now,” he turned you around to look at him.
You kept your eyes on his inky swallows and shook your head, “I can’t.”
“Did I do something wrong?”
“No,” you looked up at him. That was the last thing you wanted him to think, “It’s me. It’s not you. I just need to be alone.”
You heard him sigh, “Is that really what you want, Y/n?”
You nodded.
And with that, he let go of your arms and dressed himself in silence. You held back any further tears as you watched him with his back turned to you as he slid his t-shirt on over his head and then put his wallet and cell phone into his back pockets.
When he picked up his leather duffel bag he turned to look at you and his expression was unreadable but he stood in front of you, cupped the back of your head with his palm, and kissed your temple before opening your bedroom door and seeing himself out of your apartment.
The moment you heard your front door click shut you sat down on your floor and let yourself go completely. Though you did control your volume. You didn’t need your roommate hearing and then coming in to check on you.
You needed to break down and face your feelings and those little niggling thoughts once and for all. You didn’t know what to do with them but you needed to allow them to come out of you because you’d been pretending with Harry and that wasn’t fair to him or to you.
It wasn’t like you were in love with him, but you were feeling things that you knew would quickly slip into that realm. He was a dream and you wanted him to yourself. But how could you know if he felt the same unless you asked? And if you asked and he didn’t think of you the way you thought of him well that would be that. Surely, he wouldn’t want to keep entertaining you the way he was if you were falling for him. He was too kind to allow that to happen. He’d break it off and send you on your way before things got too real for you.
And that would devastate you.
A/N: Ooops 🤭 We have to have a tiny bit of angst in order to move this plot forward! Hope you enjoyed my loves! Part 4 in one week! xoxo
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yeollie-plz · 6 months
Text
Watch It Spark | LTF Part: 2
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mbf! Joel Miller x F! Reader
Part 1
Synopsis: Your mom moves the two of you back to Texas and attempts to reignite an old flame. What will happen when she learns his candle now burns for you?
Genre: fluff, angst, and smut! the trifecta!
Warnings: divorced parents, mentions of cheating, no Sarah, no outbreak, drinking, age gap (reader is said to be in college but Joel's exact age isn't stated), Tommy's a bit of a sleaze, kissing, 18+ content, p in v sex, (un)protected sex!, lots of different sexual acts, cursing, light breeding kink mention, cockwarming?
All gif credits to owners!
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A/N: Sorry this took so long! I don't wanna make excuses but on top of being super busy, I also had severe writer's block. But! Here she is! Just in time for Pedro's birthday!!!
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"Shit." Joel's voice sounded out behind you.
Turning, incredulously to him, "Shit? That's all you have to say?" Not even sure what to say yourself.
"I'm sorry baby, but I don't know what else to say. I think shit actually might be the perfect sentiment in this situation." There's a bit of playfulness laced in his voice as he crosses the room to you. But the fun drops as he locks eyes with you, grabbing your hands while rubbing the backs of them with his thumbs in a comforting gesture.
"Are you okay?"
Not sure what else to do, you nod.
"I mean it was inevitable, I just didn't think she would find out like this. Thought maybe I'd be able to ease her into it...maybe...I don't know."
Joel nods as you speak, “You’ll figure it out and she’ll come around, I’m sure. Whatever happens though, I’m right here.”
When you don’t say anything, Joel uses two fingers lift up your chin so your eyes now meet his. You see the certainty in them and he repeats, “I’m right here.”
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With the mood ruined, Joel returned home to let you mull over your plan. It felt weird. How do you explain to your mother that you are currently dating her crush? Not something you had on your bingo card that's for sure.
That night you paced back and forth in your room until about 11 o'clock when you decided you just couldn't take the turmoil anymore. Your mom hadn't returned home. So instead of continuing to sit in your torment, you forced yourself to go to bed.
And when you awoke in the morning, there still was no sign of her. Sighing as you closed the door of her bedroom, you dragged yourself down to the kitchen. Your one last hope was that you could put together some grand breakfast for her and it would somehow lure her home. I mean she had to come home eventually anyway, right? She might as well come home to a yummy breakfast.
So there you were sitting alone at the table with a plethora of food laid out in front of you. Not wanting to eat without her, you sat there waiting. Now, almost an hour later, the food turned cold and the house was still empty. Sighing, you pushed yourself out of your chair, made a quick plate and popped it in the microwave to heat up.
As the time ticked down, you leaned against the counter watching it spin like it would make it go faster. The microwaved beeped to signal its end and that's when the front door swung open.
Abandoning the food once again, you rushed into the living room. Your mom's eyes locked onto you immediately as you crashed into the room. Her body visibly tensed up as she sighed at your presence.
"I-I made you breakfast." You rushed out before she could leave or you lost your nerve.
"Breakfast?" Venom dripped from her voice as she repeated your words.
Snapping your mouth shut, you gulped, trying to think of what to say. That's when she sighed again and closed her eyes, pinching her nose bridge as she tilted her head to the side.
"Sweetie, I'm not mad, but I'm also not happy-"
"-I know you liked him, it's just-" You cut her off, your words coming out quick, laced with your nerves. She held up her hand, to cut you off back.
"Let me talk, because honestly I don't want to hear anything from you right now." Another sigh, this time like she was preparing to give a speech, she was. "You got so hurt last time and with your father and I, I'm just scared for you. Sure, I liked Joel but it was never more than an infatuation. I'm not mad because he was never mine to get mad over. You know the night him and Linda dropped me off?"
You nodded in conformation, she continued, "I actually tried to kiss him that night." She laughs at her own stupidity. "He dodged it, playing it off like nothing happened. I'm sure he just didn't want to embarrass me by blatantly telling me he was in a-" A pause as she looks you up and down, tongue running across her front teeth. "-relationship."
You pulled your lip between your teeth as you listened to her speak. How could she be taking this so well? You were way too used to young people drama. People like your mom and Joel knew how to communicate their feelings. Honestly, it was relieving.
"Kind of weird to admit I almost kissed my daughter's boyfriend." Your mom says with anguish. Her face scrunching up in disgust as if she didn't find him attractive just days before.
She lets herself relish in this thought for a second, before continuing again, "I just hope you are keeping yourself safe. I know I already gave you the responsible talk but this is different. I just don't want to see you hurt like the last time."
You took a second to process her words. She didn't care who you were with, she just cared that you didn't go through what you did before. It warmed your heart and relieved a lot of the pent up stress.
"Mom, this time is different. Joel he, uh, he told me himself. I actually told him what happened." Your mom knew this was big for you to tell someone about the whole cheating thing and when you told her that, she visibly relaxed.
A smile graced her lips as she made her way over to her. She held your cheek in her head. You relaxed into the touch, closing you eyes in relief.
"You're happy with him, I can tell. So like I said I'm not mad. A little sad I missed my chance but there will always be someone else. He's good for you, I'm sure of it."
You smiled at her and leaned in to peck your forehead before wrapping you into her arms and holding you tightly. Her body heat radiating you with all the love only a mother had for her child. She pulled away a bit later, holding you at arms length.
"Although, the age difference is a bit much. That one took me a minute to get over." Laughs laced her voice as she spoke.
"I know, took me a bit to accept the initial attraction too but he's just so..." Your voice trailed off, unsure of what to say. She only smiled to this and nodded.
"I understand, that's how I felt about your father when I met him too." A sad smile now formed as she looked down and you knew she was thinking about how it had turned out for her and him. Now it was your turn to comfort her as you rubbed your hands down her arms.
She shook the thoughts out of her head and sucked back the tears that were pricking her eyes. "Okay! Now, tell me everything. How you guys met! The first date! I want to hear everything."
Letting her drag you to the couch while laughing uncontrollably at her excitement. The rest of the day the two of you could not stop talking as you told her everything.
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After hours of chatting, your mom finally called it a night. All but pushing you out the door to go see Joel. Mumbling something about how he must be on the edge of his seat. You giggled at her antics, it was almost unbelievable how quickly she had gotten over it and was now your number one supporter.
So now you found yourself knocking at Joel's door. When he opened it there was a small look of shock on his face.
"Wasn't expecting you to be over so soon, sugar." He said as he pulled you into a quick hug. Breathing in his scent for a second, you sighed, content.
"It went better than expected." Your words were muffled by his chest since you refused to release yourself from his grasp. Not like Joel was complaining.
"Good, I'm glad." He spoke into your hair before placing a soft kiss there. A second more of holding you before Joel is pushing you out to arms length. He searches your face for a second before bringing his lips to yours.
The kiss is slow, like he is learning the feel of them for the first time. It makes you putty in his hands. The stress that somehow was still all pent up inside of you, now finally melting away.
You felt safe. You felt loved. Joel was home for you and in that moment you knew that this was real. Joel was real.
And that night as you settled into his bed and into his arms everything in your past seemed to fade away. It was only you and him.
Smiling into his chest, you fell into a deep slumber.
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The morning sun shining through the curtains of Joel's room woke you up. Reaching to the other side of the bed, you find nothing but cold sheets. Confusion washes for you for only a second in your half-awake state, until you hear the steady beat of shower water coming from the connected bathroom.
You take a second to lay in the silence, just listening to the drops of the water. Before an idea pops into your head and you are smirking to yourself.
Pushing off of the bed, you make your way into the bathroom, shredding off pieces of clothes as you go. Joel seems unaware of your presence so you are careful not to scare him too bad as you slide the shower curtain down the rod just enough for you to slip in.
He only jumps a bit as your arms wrap around him. Turning in them to face you.
"Hello." He says to you when his eyes meet yours.
"Hi." You whisper back, pulling him in closer to you, your head now resting on his chest. He lets out a light chuckle while rubbing your back in soothing circles.
To ensure you don't fall, you shift slightly on the wet surface. This causes Joel to let out a soft grunt, his now hardening member brushing against your thigh. It causes you to smirk and pull away, looking up at him.
"I barely hugged you and you're already this excited?" You question.
Something between a chuckle and a grunt passes through his lips, "Not my fault that you came in here all naked. It's human nature, baby." A pause while he drops his head down so his lips can brush your ear, "Remember when I said I wasn't as old as I seemed."
He nips your earlobe after speaking, an action that sends a rush down your spine. Heartbeat speeding up as he continues to breath right next to your sensitive skin, goosebumps popping up despite the warmth of the shower water.
He trails kisses down from your ear, across your chest, and up your neck. One kiss to your jaw, one to each cheek, one to your forehead, before pecking your lips. Pulling away way too soon for your liking as you try and chase his lips with your own.
Now Joel is smirking seeing how desperate you already are for him after making fun of him only moments before. Yet he decides that neither of you really need the teasing so early in the morning so his reserve goes out the window and he's connecting his lips to yours.
The kiss is slower than usual, the intensity not fully there since both of you only just woke up. It is slow, yet passionate. Your lips meet like they were meant for each other. Tongues only barely fighting each other as neither of you really wanted to take dominance of the situation.
And as Joel's fingers slowly make there way down the middle of your stomach, finding your sensitive bud soon after, yours are wrapping around his waist and pulling him even closer to you. You gasp as his fingers move your clit in slow methodical circles. The feeling makes your legs weak, but you quickly recover when you remember where you are and how easily you could fall.
The thought almost makes you laugh but that is also quickly forgotten when the finger that was just working your clit, makes its way into your folds, testing your entrance. It seems like Joel contemplates if you are ready for a second so you keen towards him a bit to egg him on. That's when his finger finally enters you, working its way in and out of you in time with his lips on yours.
Your hands now find their way in between his legs. You try to stroke his dick in the same pace as his fingers in you, but your brain has become a bit foggy. This only gets worse when Joel begins quirking his fingers inside of you in an attempt to find that particular spot inside of you.
"Come on baby, you know you want to give in." He says into your lips. The words come out almost desperate and the gruff nature of his voice has you melting. If you were an ice cube you would be down the drain already.
"I just want you inside of me. It's too early for all your teasing." Your words are now the ones that are desperate, as you fully grip his cock and stroke it quickly trying to urge him closer to wanting to fuck you.
He laughs at your actions and pushes your hands off of him, fingers also retreating from their still steady pace inside of you. Grabbing your hips with such careful hands, so careful that you almost question if this is the same man. Usually so rough with you that you are sure that even his callouses could leave marks.
Flipping you around he bends you at the hips and pushes you towards the wall, careful not to let the two of you fall. Your hands make contact with the cold tile and if you weren't so gone you would've pulled them away instinctually.
That's when he leans over you and whispers into your ear, "I'm going to fuck you now, but the way I want to. Nice and slow. One sound and I stop, understood?"
You open your mouth to answer, but snap it closed and nod instead.
"Good girl." Joel kisses the bit of jaw he can reach before he is standing back up straight.
One hand finds your waist and pulls you back into him. Your hands almost slip from the wet tile that is holding you up, but you recover. Just in time for the tip of his dick to tease your entrance.
Joel gathers the your wetness and strokes it down his member, covering it in preparation to enter you. When he is satisfied with his job he pushes his tip past your folds. Very slowly he enters you. And after what feels like an eternity he bottoms out inside of you.
The feeling has you gulping down a gasp that is threatening to leave your lips. Sure Joel has fucked you pretty much every which way, but there is something about right now that you are finding it so much harder to follow instructions. You just want to let him know how good he makes you feel.
And before you can fully let this thought circulate, Joel is pulling out of you painstakingly slow. The type of slow that almost hurts but also fills you with so much pleasure that you could forget your own name.
This is how he continues, this slow, painful pace. In and out of you. All the way from tip to base, each action feels like it could be a full minute of white hot pleasure. Joel holds your orgasm over your head like a pig with a carrot on a stick. Kept on a tight leash, with your lips also kept shut tight.
You're not sure how he is holding himself back at this point but, obviously, you don't question it. too scared of what would happen if you let anything escape your lips.
One particularly harsh thrust has his hips snapping into yours and involuntarily you are pushing your back into his, trying to get him even closer. Like that was possible.
This has him tutting at you and gripping your hips a bit rougher, "Like the way my dick fills you up baby?"
You want to answer, you really do but you just bite your lip instead. He seems to notice you holding back and laughs lightly at you.
Pulling out of you and flipping you around to face him. He pecks your forehead before lifting one leg around his hip. You almost lose your balance as he pushes you back into the wall, so you have at least a little bit of support.
"Let me give you what you really want." Joel says as he enters you once again. "Wanna see the look on your face as you cum on my dick, pretty girl."
Now he's pistoning you onto his dick, letting you feel as much of his length as he can with how tightly your leg is wrapped around him. Its like your body wants to keep him permanently inside of you, not like your brain disagrees though.
Just like that, a few thrusts later and you are getting closer to your orgasm. Your body giving in so easily and it's heightened state. You never knew how malleable morning sex would make you.
And as your vision is beginning to be clouded by stars and your stomach is tightening, a whimper escapes your lips before you can catch it. Joel's hips stop abruptly and so does your orgasm.
Your eyes snap open to meet his. They just stare back blankly, almost no emotion because you know what you did. You want to plead with him, maybe complain that you were close but you don't. Silence watches over you.
Joel sits there staring at you, member half inside of you. Your pussy clenches onto it, as if trying to urge him into giving in. But it isn't until you are dropping your eyes from his that he's leaning forward and capturing your lips in his own. He kisses you for a moment, slow and steady, still just warming his cock inside of you.
"I know you were close baby, but you knew the rules." He says in a way that it almost sounds like an apology. But that is long forgotten as he snaps his hip forward into you and hits your g spot in one perfect thrust.
The urge to moan again is intense that you are biting down on your lip. For a second you question if you would draw blood, but decide the pleasure is way important right now. As your head tosses back meeting the cool tile.
With how close your orgasm was before it isn't long before you are reaching your peak once again. Your stomach clenches again and vision blurs. Although this time you are conscious of the sounds you would normally make and hold them back. As the wave crashes over you and you are spasming into Joel's body.
Joel's strong arms hold you up as your legs go weak under you, the wet floor making it all too easy for you to just go down. The leg around his hips also loosens but he grips that thigh holding it there as he begins to chase his own orgasm.
The feeling of your walls clenching around him getting him dangerously close to his own peak. His teeth find your neck in an attempt to hold back his orgasm, not wanting to cum into you without a condom (or permission).
"Baby-" He grunts out, pain laced in his voice. You catch the tone immediately and try to find you feet. Although it takes you a second, in that second he is pulling out of you and stroking his dick in an attempt to reach his orgasm.
Without a second thought you are dropping to your knees and swatting his hands away replacing them with your own. The minute your mouth meets the tip of his member, he is shooting his load into your waiting cavern. Swallowing it all down as you stroke him slowly, working him through his high.
Joel's hands grip your hair as he comes down from his high. When he has come back down to earth, his fingers loosen and instead he is stroking your head in a comforting gesture.
Giving him another second to recover before you stand up to attach his lips to your own. Now he is melting into your touch as he tastes himself on your lips.
"I love you." This has you pausing and stepping back. You are sure you didn't hear him right. Seeing the look on your face a playful smile graces his own.
"Y/N I love you." Joel repeats.
"I-I love you too." You want to jump into his arms, but obviously you don't want to break your leg...or his.
"Why did you have to tell here?" Now you are hitting his chest, leaving the hand there, just needing to feel him. He laughs at your antics, but let's you continue, knowing you well enough to know you aren't done yet.
"I'm all wet and I just woke up. I have sex brain. Uh!" Another hit, this one has him grabbing your wrist and pulling you towards him carefully.
"I feel like that's the perfect time." Joel says with a smile, leaning down to place a kiss on your pouting lips.
"I feel like that's the perfect time." You mock him which has him laughing again. Another kiss is placed on your lips, this one continues a bit longer as if he is savoring the feeling of yours on his.
The blush is evident on your cheeks but you aren't giving up, "Just finish up in here, I'm going back to bed." A huff and you are leaving the shower. Joel's laugh echoes behind you.
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When you told Joel to finish up, you didn't think he would take this long. At this rate you should've just stayed in there and washed yourself too. Instead you have dried yourself off already and are sat crisscross on Joel's bed. His shirt adorning your body and a towel wrapped around your still damp hair.
You have a book resting on your legs as you read in silence. Hearing the water turn off in the bathroom, you smile down at your book knowing Joel will be out soon.
Just as the sink faucet is switched on, the front door opens and a familiar voice sounds out through the house. The bathroom door is all but slammed open at the booming voice. Joel stands there towel around his waist, toothbrush between his lips. A bit of toothpaste is threatening to spill out of the corner of his mouth and you bite back a smile.
"Tommy." Joel says, the words a bit muffled by the brush and paste in his mouth.
Your eyes widen. No you weren't scared to meet his brother, I mean you have technically met him before. It was just you wanted to make a semi good impression and well here you were in only your underwear.
But before you can make any change to that Tommy's footsteps are thudding down the hallway and the door to Joel's bedroom is swinging open, with not so much as a knock.
"Joel!" Tommy calls out just as his eyes drop to yours. You are quickly pushing your legs straight under the covers in any attempt to cover yourself.
Tommy's jaw drops, "You!" Your eyes stay open wide not sure what is going to come out of his mouth next. Joel stays stuck in the doorway, not sure what to do either.
Then Tommy laughs, like a whole belly laugh. Loud, resounding. He doubles over holding his stomach. That's how funny he finds this whole situation.
It's almost a minute before he is recovering from his fit, wiping the tears that formed in the corners of his eyes. Both you and Joel are still stood there in shock. Watching his brother with semi-concerned eyes.
"The girl from the bar!" Tommy points to you, then to Joel. "And you! You old dog. Joel's still got it, huh?" He nods as if he's just discovered something.
Another chuckle and he's looking back at you, "Damn."
"Tommy..." Joel tests the waters, still not fully sure what to say to him.
"This is, just wow!" Then Tommy does something that is even more astounding. He slow claps. Actually slow claps like he's in some movie.
He does this for a second or two before looking between you and Joel, nodding slowly. You clear your throat, trying to attempt anything to clear the awkward air of the situation.
"I'm Y/N, by the way." A tight smile comes with your words. Hand leaving its grip on your book to give a small wave to the man.
He's still nodding, "Tommy-" He weighs his words. "I'm gonna go." And with that he is turning on his heel.
Yelling a quick, "Good job big bro!", before the front door is closed behind him.
As soon as the lock is clicking, you and Joel turn to each other. Still in shock, before you are giggling.
"Well, were two for two on family first meetings. Got any other family members I could awkwardly meet?"
Joel smiles at you before he is retreating to bathroom to spit out his long forgotten toothpaste. Returning to the room , he crawls across the foot of the bed towards you, like a lion stalking his prey.
"No, but honestly that's the best it could've gone with Tommy so don't feel bad." A kiss to your lips.
"I don't feel bad, I feel embarrassed." You say as you trace a finger down his jaw. He melts into your touch.
"I mean look at me!" You gesture to your lack luster clothing... or lack of clothing.
Lust flashes behind his eyes, "I think you look sexy." You almost hit him again but hold back.
"Of course you do, I'm wearing your shirt."
Joel considers your words for a second, "Is that what it is? Sure it isn't how I'm still thinking about how badly I wanted to fill you with my cum earlier?"
Your jaw drops, actually drops at his words. But two can play at this game.
"So why didn't you?" Hands play with the hairs at the nape of his neck, a shiver runs down his spine.
"You," A poke to your nose, "were in no mindset to give me permission, pretty girl. Not to mention, you were keeping those pretty lips shut." As he mentions your lips, he glances down at them. You readjust your body so your tits brush his chest. Nipples hardening at the sensation.
"Now I'm thinking about how much I missed out." You try, wanting to get one response in particular from Joel.
"Well, what my baby wants, she gets." Joel says matter-of-factly. Grabbing your hips and pulling you to lay down beneath him. You feel his hardening member brush your thigh.
"Mr. Miller, already so hard again?" You question the sound of fake astonishment in your voice.
"Shut up and let the whole neighborhood hear how good I make you feel. Gonna get you so full of my cum, sugar."
Needless to say, neither you nor Joel left the bed that day.
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Taglist:
@wh0reforbucknasty @guelyury @shibeom @theoraekenslover @deathsholywaterr @azxulaa @untamedheart81 @akah565 @shadowmoonlight0604 @papi-ispunk
I just went ahead and tagged everyone that mentioned wanting a part two :)
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art · 2 years
Photo
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Creator Spotlight: @velinxi​
Hello! I’m Xiao Tong Kong, better known as “Velinxi.” I’m the creator of the webcomic Countdown to Countdown and have been doing freelance artwork since I was a teenager. I love telling stories with my illustrations! Tumblr was where I first got my start as an artist, specifically a small fandom artist as a hobby… and now I’m somehow here! When I’m not trying my best to stay awake in front of my tablets, I’m usually cooking, gaming, or sleeping. Sometimes all three, in my dreams.
Check out our interview with Velinxi below!
Did you originally have a background in art? If not, how did you start?
Yeah! I’ve basically been on track to become an artist since I was a child. I went to a middle school with an emphasis on arts and a high school specializing in it. I went to SVA briefly for computer arts but dropped out to pursue freelance and webcomics after my first year.
Over the years as an artist, what or who were your biggest inspirations behind your creativity?
My biggest inspirations growing up were Yuumei and Shilin Huang, two titans on DeviantArt back in the day. They still inspire me today, but the list of inspirations has grown exponentially over the years, including artists, movies, entire art movements, etc.
What was your thought process behind the creation of your webcomic, Countdown to Countdown?
Well, Countdown to Countdown started as a passion project back when I was 15, in high school, and pretty depressed. I just wanted to draw whatever story I thought was cool, inspired by my favorite media at the time. There was a very loose beginning and outline, but I was truly just writing as I drew the story. That’s why I had to stop the comic in 2018 and restart from scratch the year after. Now, the story has a set story and a clear outline. It still has similar roots, characters, and themes of neglect, abuse, and escape—but I think the story is a lot easier to follow now. It’s got an artstyle I can actually keep up with in the long run. The origin of why CTC exists also remains the same: I simply wanted to make a story I wanted to read for myself. Which happens to be about two dumb boys with superpowers navigating a hostile world that wants them dead or caged—together.
Have you ever had an art block? If so, how did you overcome it?
Oh, all the time. It’s part of the process. Personally, though—I just have to draw through it. Every month on my Patreon, I have my patrons vote on a theme I have to draw by the end of the month, and I try my best to make it as interesting as possible. I draw quite a few—tens even, of doodles or compositions for each of these themes to try to make something that tells a story while still being aesthetically pleasing and clear. I think pushing myself like this helps with art block, really. I also do remember to take breaks and simply consume other media I like! It gets the inspiration juices flowing.
Advice you would give to an aspiring creator?
If you do one—your first webcomic should be a short, fun, messy thing. It’s not often you can get it right the first time, but you’ll certainly learn a lot through sheer experience. This goes for a lot of things in art, to be honest.
What is a medium that you have always been intrigued by but would never use yourself?
3D Animation. I briefly learned it at SVA, and I think that’s enough of that tech for me. I accept that there are some things that are truly beautiful if done right, and I am too simple and lazy for it.
What is your goal for the rest of this year?
Get Countdown to Countdown book 2 finished! And live HAHA
Who on Tumblr inspires you and why?
@yuumei-art on Tumblr, still! They’ve been a huge inspiration for digital artists and storytellers online for years. I have no doubt that many digital artists of my generation have been influenced by them, and they’re still here, making beautiful art and stories. It’s a thing to behold.
Thanks for stopping by, Velinxi! If you haven’t seen her Meet the Artist piece, be sure to check it out here. You can also follow her for more amazing art over at her Tumblr, @velinxi!
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padfootagain · 5 months
Text
Only An Almost (VII)
Chapter 7: Tender Bitterness
Hello!! Here is another chapter! So much angst in this fic, I’m sorry (no, I’m not).
I hope you’ll like this chapter! Please, tell me what you think!
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Pairing: Hozier x fem!reader, friends with benefits AU
Warning: No explicit smut or nsfw content, but there are sexual themes and heavy make-out sessions (it’s a friends with benefits AU, I can’t really escape it), so 18+ only!
Summary: Andrew has been in love with you for years, and yet he has never confessed his feelings. But a night out celebrating the engagement of his best friend changes everything. However, you don't seem ready to be with him just yet. You make him an offer that he can't refuse... but will certainly regret.
Word Count : 1759
Masterlist for the series – Hozier’s Masterlist – Main Masterlist
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“Stop cheating!”
“I’m not cheating!”
“Yes, you are.”
“I’m not!”
“You can’t use the same word twice.”
“Since when?”
“Since it’s in the rules.”
“You’re just a sore loser.”
“I’m not, you’re simply cheating!”
You gave him a toothy grin, the kind that made you absolutely adorable, that melted Andrew’s heart…
“It counts.”
“It doesn’t.”
You pouted, gave him your most adorable gaze…
God, you were so fucking annoying…
Andrew heaved a frustrated sigh, hiding his smile and reddening cheeks by grabbing the pen and paper set next to your game of scrabble and your cups of tea.
He counted in silence the points that belonged to you and wrote them down. When Andrew looked up again, you were grinning, clearly proud of yourself. You were so fucking annoying…
… he wanted to kiss that smirk off your face.
It was raining, you were both too lazy to go outside. You had eaten lunch with some friends, including Sam and Daphne who were being unbearably cute together, although the stress of the wedding was growing week after week. You were the one to offer Andrew to drop by to play some boardgame or just watch TV, or whatever. ‘Hang out’, that’s how you called it. You wanted to spend time with him. And Andrew hesitated at first, he thought you meant that you wanted to have sex. And it sounded crazy, knowing how he felt for you and how lovely you looked today and how he wanted to touch you right now… it sounded crazy to think that he didn’t want to have sex with you. And actually, he did want you. If you offered now, he would definitely say yes. But this conversation of yours during your hike was keeping him up at night. He didn’t know what to make of it.
You would never give him a proper chance, he knew that now. The only choice that remained was to enjoy having you by his side for as long as he could, or stop seeing you altogether. He wouldn’t be able to be your friend now. Not after losing all hope, not after learning what it felt like to be yours and for you to be almost his… he couldn’t do it.
So he tried to put more distance between the two of you this past week. It didn’t really work, for the friends part of your relationship. But the ‘benefits’ were down to zero. Andrew wasn’t sure whether he felt good or bad about it.
“Thanks, Andy!”
He mumbled some incoherent answer, playing off annoyance, when the words had simply remained stuck in his throat as you beamed up at him.
Yeah, he wasn’t doing too well…
You both grew quiet as Andrew was thinking, staring at the letters displayed before him. He was losing, by a lot, but then again, his head was everywhere but on the game at hand. It was fun though, you were fun.
He laughed at another stupid joke you said, and forgot the word he had thought of to play. You were laughing as well, and he bathed in the warmth of your smile, in your witty remarks, in how much fun he was having. For a moment, the weight of your relationship was lifted from his heart and shoulders. After all, you could have shared such a moment being friends, or even in a relationship. You could have laughed with him like this too, if you loved him…
“And that is how I will die of boredom… you’re no craic!” you complained, pouting dramatically to make him laugh.
And you easily succeeded, he giggled and it made him blush, the way his heart skipped a beat at how adorable you looked.
“If you stopped talking, maybe I’d be faster.”
“Are you blaming me for your lack of vocabulary?”
“Sorry, who writes lyrics here?”
“Sorry, Mr. Poet. I know your art demands patience and devotion.”
“Exactly, so please, be quiet from now on. I must summon the Muses.”
“If I shove the letters into your mouth, will that help, Virgil?”
“So violent…”
He was struggling not to laugh too loudly all the same.
“Feed the board. It demands your offering.”
“You’re fucking mad.”
“Says you!”
“Says me… here you go.”
He placed a word on the board, nothing too fancy, nothing that would allow him to win. You glanced over at the letters he had left and frowned.
“You could win more points if you moved your word and used the plural.”
“Really? I didn’t see it. Too late now.”
But you picked up the letter, moved his word around.
“Isn’t that cheating?” he chuckled.
“I’m just helping. You’re not focused today.”
Your voice was infinitely gentle as you spoke, there was worry tainting your tone. Andrew looked up at you with a questioning frown.
“I just… you look… you seem a little off these days, Andy,” you went on, clearly cautious in the words you chose. “Is everything okay?”
He struggled to swallow.
“’Course. I’m fine.”
“You know you can talk to me if something’s wrong, right?”
But Andrew shook his head, offering you a reassuring smile.
“I’m perfectly fine. There is no need for you to worry.”
The look you gave him pierced his heart. You looked at him like you… like you were hurting with him. How ironic, considering that you were the reason his body and soul were aching now…
“I’m worried about you. I hate seeing you sad.”
He let out a bitter scoff, he couldn’t help it.
“Like you care,” he spat with more venom in his tone than he meant to let out.
You looked at him with wide eyes, blinking in surprise.
“Of course, I care… why would you say that?”
“You…”
He heaved a frustrated sigh.
“Never mind,” he mumbled under his breath.
“What’s wrong with you? We’ve been friends for years, you’re… you’re one of the most important people in my life… how could you say that? God, we… we’ve slept together. And you think I don’t care?”
His jaw clenched, he struggled to blink tears away. He took in a deep breath.
“I… I’m sorry. I’m just… I’m a little lost. In my life, I mean. In… in everything… I don’t know what to do.”
You silently invited him to keep going. The rain was louder outside, the sky so dark you could have turned on the lights.
“I… I don’t know… I have a decision to take, and I don’t know what to do.”
“You don’t want to tell me the specifics?”
“No… honestly, no, I don’t want to.”
“Okay. Well… what would make you happier? I reckon that’s all you need to ask yourself.”
“I don’t know. I feel like I’m gonna be on the losing side no matter what.”
Slowly, you nodded, but your frown was enough to tell him that you had no clue what he was talking about. You pondered his words for a moment.
“Y/N… I don’t think you can help anyway. I just have to figure this out on my own. Don’t worry about me, okay? I’m fine. I’m simply worried about something, that’s all.”
Slowly, you nodded, although you seemed unconvinced.
“Can I do something to make you feel better?”
You opened your arms for him.
“A hug?”
He chuckled fondly at you. Even if he tried to be mad at you, he simply couldn’t. You were too sweet for that…
“Sure, come here.”
You yielded easily, standing up to hug him. Sitting in his chair you were a little taller than him, for once. He breathed deeply your scent as he buried his face in the crook of your neck. He felt his bones melting under your touch as you stroked his hair, a palm splayed reassuringly across his spine, as if to support his frame. You kissed his forehead, and he almost cried with the tenderness of your gesture.
He held you tightly, more so than he should have, but you didn’t seem to mind, accepting the way he clung unto you.
“What if I ordered some pizza and we watched some disgustingly sweet movie together tonight?”
He hummed in approval.
“Sounds nice,” he answered in a sigh.
“If you’re nice to me, I’ll let you have some of my favourite whiskey.”
“When am I ever not nice to you?”
“When you try to prevent me from cheating at scrabble?”
“It’s called being a law-abiding citizen. You should try sometimes.”
“Huh, huh…. No thanks. I’d rather remain a rascal.”
He chuckled into your neck, sending vibrations through your skin, and he noticed the way it made you shiver.
God, if you held him like that, if you reacted this way to him… it ought to mean something… despite his job and the odds, perhaps one day you would…
He looked up at you when you gently pulled on his hair to guide him away from your neck. He thought you wanted to break free from the hug, and he almost protested, but then both of your hands were gently cradling his face, your thumbs brushing his bearded cheeks. Before he could realize what you were doing, you were pressing your lips to his, in the gentlest, most tender kiss he had ever been given. It was loving. He was shocked by the intimacy of it, how much care and love you were putting into the gesture. Andrew couldn’t remember ever being kissed so lovingly…
When you pulled away, he had to blink a few times to force his brain back into action.
And you looked down at him with so much fondness in your smile, as if you felt the same adoration that coursed through every fibre of his being every time he looked at you, every time he as much as thought of you.
And what if he could change your mind?
None of you said anything. Andrew buried his face into your neck again, held you tight, and you welcomed him in your embrace with a pressing of your lips to his hairline. Not a kiss, just a resting of your lips onto his skin. You inhaled deeply enough for him to hear it, to think that perhaps you were committing his scent to memory too, the same he did with yours. And all the while, there was nothing sexual in your gestures. Only comfort and kindness and maybe even love, Andrew was foolish enough to think of the word.
There was no way you could have held him like this, and not feel a thing… right?
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casanovawrites · 25 days
Text
random sentence prompts  ━ from various tv shows, part 11
you’ve been such a pain in my ass.
you’re the most fascinating person i’ve ever known.
can you stop needing to be the hero here?
people don’t just disappear. 
we are saying goodbye. just not to each other. we’re saying goodbye to everything else, our old lives.
everything that kept us safe is gone.
i would rather prepare for the worst before the worst happens.
i am basically 100% headache right now.
you’re the only one who ever let me feel normal.
maybe i suck too. i just don’t know how yet.
i’m not choosing anyone. i’m choosing work over play.
doesn’t it feel like everyone wants us to be someone we’re not?
a sleepover? am i invited?
it has to be you. you’re all we’ve got.
you know me. we know each other.
it’s called keeping up with the times, asshole.
but fuck all of you, and i mean that.
people don’t usually follow my lead, if you know what i mean.
there’s nothing wrong with us.
i want your point of view on things.
you’re killing me. you get that, right? that’s what you’re asking me. to die for you.
i’ll follow your rules. that’s all you get.
i’d love to trade witty one-liners with you.
you’re the worst. you know that, right?
today is the first time in my life that feels like the right time.
there is a point to everything. there are answers.
god doesn’t just play games with people for fun.
the sun just keeps coming up every day, and you can’t cry forever. 
you have to have hope, don’t you? because who knows. maybe tomorrow.
you don’t get to decide what matters.
a lot of what’s happening is us being scared, and alone, and bored. so we do scary things to each other, we hurt each other. 
it’s like she wants to turn the whole world upside down.
who’s been there for you more than me?
bullshit. we’re not the same person.
you didn’t pick me. because you didn’t think i belonged.
if i had to pick anyone in the world when things got bad, i’d pick you.
this isn’t about us. this has nothing to do with us.
there is no us. because of everything.
i love you. i know i don’t always show it, but i do. i love you.
the universe does not care about your love life.
i’m not sad. i’m pissed off.
you say too many things you don’t mean.
i’ve thought a lot about dying. i’ve gotten used to that. but i don’t like to be afraid.
sometimes when i’m angry, i want to hurt people.
i’m worried that i’m not real.
all you can do is have an advantage, and this is mine. it’s all i have.
what i did is not the worst crime in the world.
given everything, can’t i get a tiny break?
why? what’s so special about me?
are we going to fight each other over food? that’s fucking crazy.
you can live wherever you want, just not with me.
we should get some food, before it’s all gone.
what if things don’t go back to the way they were?
don’t give me a fucking speech. you have no idea.
i guess i can learn to get along with a few more people.
what’s so hard about being honest with yourself?
it’s been ten days. i’m not the same person i was.
if there are things that need to be done, i want to do them.
there are no sides anymore.
you’re the best decision i’ve ever made.
we’re the same. you have to stick with your own.
i’m scared, and i have to take care of myself.
i live in your shadow, and now you suddenly want to disappear?
you know that you’re the love of my life? and whatever comes after this.
if this is it, this is where i want to be. i mean not here, but with you. you’re where i want to be.
i was a different person before we fell in love.
thank you. for loving me. 
right now, we could use all the love we can get. 
you get scared, and you get mean.
is this how you want to spend the time you have left? always looking over your shoulder?
you’re giving me a headache instead of having my back.
it’s just, sometimes i know what i want, i just don’t know how to say it.
the only feelings that anyone cares about are yours. 
people keep dying around me.
i feel really lucky to have you. you’re my rock.
the end is none of your business.
i like you exactly the way you are.
i’m so sick of feeling different from everyone else.
after “fuck you,” i don’t have much.
i think about you too much.
i don’t think about you.
i’m not scared. i’m just realistic.
it feels like i’ve been starting forever.
no one cares about the best player on the worst team.
i’m tired of losing. i just don’t know what to do.
that’s hopelessly romantic. and this isn’t hopeless.
i haven’t been happy all year. why start now?
i’m sorry i can’t turn off my feelings whenever you want.
seems like everything i do hurts your feelings.
i care about you. i just don’t know how to prove it.
i like who i am in your eyes. i like how you see me.
i’m not sure i like myself in a relationship.
i’m way easier to replace.
when it ends, it’ll hurt.
the right thing is just to be here with you.
death is not beautiful, it’s final.
i keep failing everyone, and i don’t know what to do.
i don’t feel sad. i feel numb.
i ask people if they’re all right too much.
you never needed me. you needed someone.
i made myself sick to make you feel better.
this whole time i thought it was dying, but it’s living what scares you
you’re afraid to commit, and i need constant validation. 
you don’t belong here. not after what you did.
there is no mystery here. nothing to avenge.
i made a wish, and it came true, and i couldn’t take it back.
he was a bad person and a worse father. the world is better off without him.
you never know when to stop, do you?
you do whatever it takes to survive. or you die.
you think i didn’t try everything to get back to my family?
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m1ckeyb3rry · 7 months
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── THE GLASS PRINCESS // FIVE
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Series Synopsis: You wake up in a strange room with no memories, broken glass at your bedside, and a prince named Zuko as your only chance at figuring out who you really are.
Chapter Synopsis: You visit Ember Island with Jia-Li and grow closer with her and her brother. Everything comes to a head, though, when a party on the island goes wrong.
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Series Masterlist
Pairing: Zuko x Reader
Chapter Word Count: 7.4k
Content Warnings: complicated relationships (strangers to friends to lovers to enemies to strangers to lovers to enemies to lovers), amnesia, alternate universe, lots of secrets and lying and mystery
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A/N: would you guys believe if i said i thought we’d already know reader’s real identity this many words into the fic?? anyways enjoy the fun times while they last folks because trust it will be getting angsty at some point probably
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Dear Zuko,
I’m sorry for whatever I did that made you angry with me. Please forgive me. I don’t want you to be upset.
Sincerely, Ursa
P.S. Destroying Chan’s house was wrong, but since it was him, I won’t chide you. Jia-Li and I also participated a bit, so it would be hypocritical, anyways.
P.P.S. I’m not friends with Ruon-Jian anymore. 
Though you had been at sea for quite a bit of time now, you still had not grown bored of staring at the ocean. Jia-Li had sat back down under the shade of the silk canopy a while ago, eating a bowl full of ice cream and watching you in amusement as you stood at the prow and peered down into the water.
“It’s so beautiful,” you said.
“You’ve said that like a hundred times,” Jia-Li teased you.
“I know, I just…I just can't get over it. I’ve never seen anything quite so blue,” you said, though this was somewhat a lie. That blue from your memories, it resembled this water in depth, though not in texture — the water was clear and lucid, whereas the blue you remembered was harsh and matte.
“I guess I should be glad that you’re enjoying yourself already! Just think about it — you haven’t even gotten to Ember Island yet, and you’re having so much fun. Imagine how much better it’ll be once you’re there!” Jia-Li said.
“I can’t wait,” you said dreamily. “As long as we can go swimming, I’ll be happy.”
“Of course,” she said. “We’ll swim every day! My brother wrote to me, he said that the tides have been forgiving this season. Maybe I can convince him to teach you how to ride the flying dolphin fish. He always shoos me away whenever I ask, but it’s impossible to hate you, Ursa, so he’ll definitely say yes.”
You had been growing accustomed to that name. It still felt like an alias at times, but it was a familiar one, said around you so often that you barely even hesitated before responding to it.
“It’s fine if he doesn’t,” you said. “Though it would be nice to learn something like that…”
“Maybe you should ask him!” Jia-Li said. “There’s no way he can refuse then!”
“I wouldn’t want to be imposing,” you said immediately, shaking your head. “He shouldn’t have to do something just because he’s too guilty to say no.”
“No, I was more thinking along the lines of ‘you’re pretty and he doesn’t say no to pretty girls’, actually,” she said. “He’ll be happy to oblige you, but if it’s a request from his little sister, he’s likely to say no just to be contrary.”
“We’ll see,” you said after ruminating on it for a second. “Also, thank you for the compliment.”
“It’s just the truth,” Jia-Li said. “But since we’re on the subject — I know you don’t have memories, so you can’t answer about your past life, but what about recently? Have you had a crush on someone before?”
“A crush?” you said.
“Yeah! I mean, have you ever liked anyone?” she said.
“I like a lot of people,” you said. “For example, you and Ty Lee.”
“No, silly, not in that way. I mean liking someone romantically,” Jia-Li elaborated. “I know a few of the boys in the Royal Fire Academy for Boys have been talking about you, so I was just curious.”
“Oh!” you said, covering your face with your hands so that she could not see the embarrassment blooming on it. “I didn’t know that they were.”
“Sure, of course they are! They talk about a lot of us, so it makes sense, and anyways I wasn’t lying when I said you’re pretty. They’re all too scared to actually talk to you, but I’m sure that if you went to the market alone and met one of them, they’d propose on the spot,” she said.
The academies for girls and boys had separate campuses, but they were run conjointly, so that your breaks aligned and your events were held in tandem. Though you tended to avoid attending sporting matches, you had gone to one or two in your time as a student, so you supposed that must’ve been when you had become a viable prospect for whatever nonsense Jia-Li was spouting.
“I don’t talk to any boys,” you pointed out. “Even if any of them like me, I don’t know them, so I can’t say I like them back.”
“You talk to the prince a lot,” she said.
“What?” you said.
“Did you really think I didn’t notice how often you send letters to him via Bian?” she chided. You coughed uncomfortably.
“Um, well, he is my benefactor, so I have to keep him updated with my day-to-day activities,” you said. “It’s, er, part of my scholarship, you know.”
It was not, but Jia-Li seemed to buy the lie readily enough, nodding sagely, though not without a dramatic pout.
“That does check out, but it’s not nearly as exciting as a secret love affair or letters written out of pining and sent with longing, stamped with your heart’s greatest desire for a man that can never be your own!” she said.
“Sorry?” you said. “I don’t think any of that fits the situation, though.”
She sighed. “It’s okay.”
“What about you? Do you have any crushes?” you said, recognizing that this was the logical next step in the conversation. Jia-Li blushed and looked at the wooden paneling of the deck, using her fingers to twirl the hair which escaped her ponytail to frame her face.
“Yes,” she said. “Kind of. But it’s someone who I shouldn’t like, and who would never like me back, so I’ve never said anything.”
“Who?” you said. “Your family is pretty influential, isn’t it? I can’t imagine most anyone rejecting you. Unless you like Prince Zuko and are projecting your ‘heart’s greatest desire for a man that can never be your own’ onto me?”
“No way!” Jia-Li said. “It’s more complicated than him being of a higher ranking than me.”
“Then what is it?” you said.
“He’s my brother’s best friend!” she said, all in a rush, her entire face in flames at the confession.
“Oh,” you said, cringing in empathy. “I see. He would not approve?”
“Definitely not,” she said. “But there’s something worse than him not approving: marrying this boy would mean having Kaho as a sister-in-law!”
“Oh, Agni,” you said, slapping your palm against your forehead. How had you forgotten? It was the only reason Jia-Li was somewhat exempt from Kaho’s reign of terror, despite her association with you: her brother and Kaho’s were best friends. But if she liked Kaho’s brother, then what would that mean?
“That’s the scenario,” she said. “And to top it all off, he’s notoriously popular with girls. He probably wouldn’t even look at me twice. I’ll always just be Ruon-Jian’s annoying little sister to him.”
“I doubt that that’s true,” you said as you approached the docks. “Really, Jia-Li, I don’t think that's the case. You said his family will be on Ember Island at the same time as us?”
“Yeah,” she said quietly. “Although Kaho mentioned not being able to come — something about volunteering as a scribe for some official meeting that the Fire Lord will be hosting over the weekend.”
“Perfect! That’ll be our goal, then,” you said.
“Huh?” she said.
“We’re going to get you noticed by your crush! Who cares about the consequences? Kaho and your brother can just deal with it, and if they have something to say, then they can talk to me,” you said.
“That’s nice of you to offer, but what would you even do?” Jia-Li said.
“I don’t know,” you said. “Talk to them, I guess. Kaho already doesn’t like me, so it’s not a tragedy if she hates me more, and I don’t know your brother that well, so if he and I don’t get along after that kind of conversation, it won’t be a great loss.”
“Do you really think we can do something like that?” she said.
“We have to try,” you said. “You deserve it, Jia-Li.”
“Thank you,” she said, swallowing. “You’re a really good friend, Ursa. If you ever change your mind and decide you do like Prince Zuko after all, just let me know—”
“Jia-Li!” you warned her, though the threat fell flat, as she only laughed in return.
Jia-Li’s home on Ember Island was close to the docks, and it was right on the water. She told you as you walked up the seashell-lined path that that stretch of sand was actually a private beach that belonged to her family, so you wouldn’t have to worry about anyone bothering you while you were there.
“Sometimes my brother goes to the bigger beach a little ways away, though,” she said. “They like seeing other people our age and hanging out with them and whatnot.”
“Maybe when I’m a little more confident, we can try it,” you said. “For now, I’m just glad we have our own space where I don’t have to be worried about embarrassing myself in case I drown or something.”
“I wouldn’t let you drown,” Jia-Li said. “But I’m fine with that plan. It’s not like I have some huge desire to be on a massively crowded beach with the others, so it’s not heartbreaking for me if we just stay here the whole time.”
“Now, now, not the whole time,” you said. “We have to leave the house at some point so we can meet this guy you like!”
“I’m still not so sure about that,” she said, pulling out a key from her pocket and using it to unlock the front door. “Now hush, I don’t need my brother overhearing us. We can talk more later tonight or something.”
“On it,” you said, pretending to seal your lips shut. She rolled her eyes before motioning you after her. Carefully, you stepped into the grand foyer, scuffing your shoes on the welcome mat to rid them of the sand. Jia-Li smiled in approval, presumably at your politeness, and you smiled back at her.
“Mother, father!” Jia-Li shouted. “Ruon-Jian! Ursa and I are here!”
Jia-Li’s mother peeked her head around the corner, nodding demurely at the two of you, though it was deeper and more reverent when it came to you. She looked exactly like Jia-Li, only a little older, her features aged, the cut of her face sharper.
“It is good to meet you,” she said. Her voice was musical and quiet, carefully controlled — it was the culmination of years of training as the wife of a high-ranking Fire Nation official. It was what you and Jia-Li and Kaho and Ty Lee would one day sound like, once you had graduated from the academy and were ready to enter society properly.
“And you as well, madam,” you said, clasping your hands, bowing your head slightly. “Thank you for welcoming me into your home. It is greatly appreciated.”
“You are so polite,” Jia-Li’s mother said, the slightest traces of happiness flickering over her face. “I am glad Jia-Li has such an exemplary friend to look up to.”
“Nice to see you, too, mother,” Jia-Li said. Her mother laughed, opening her arms.
“Come here, then,” she said. Jia-Li brightened, racing into her mother’s arms and hugging her. You looked away, feeling like you were intruding on the moment and wishing you had your own mother to embrace like that.
“Where’s father?” Jia-Li said. Her mother sighed.
“He and Admiral Chan were called back to the palace for some important meeting, so they’re not on the island for the moment,” she said.
“It must be the meeting Kaho is scribing for,” you said.
“Most likely,” Jia-Li said. “Do you think he’ll be able to come back before I leave for the academy again? I haven’t seen him in so long.”
“I’m not sure, darling,” her mother said. “If he is still in the capital by the time your boat leaves the docks, I will send him a message to stay in the capital and receive you before he returns.”
“Thank you,” she said. “What about Ruon-Jian? Where is he?”
“Oh, that boy, he’s being as troublesome as ever. I believe he’s locked in his room at the moment. Ruon-Jian! Please come downstairs and say hello to your sister and her friend!” her mother said. It was strange — even yelling, she sounded soft and polite, which should not have made sense but somehow did.
“Why?” a deep, grumbling voice said. There were heavy footsteps on the stairs, evidence that Jia-Li’s brother was on his way but wasn’t exactly happy about it. “I don’t wanna meet Jia-Li and her stupid friend — woah.”
Her brother was tall and willowy, with shaggy brown hair that fell into his face, giving him an effortlessly cool appearance. His eyes were the same color as Jia-Li’s, but that was about where their similarities ended. If you had seen him outside, without introduction, you wouldn’t have been able to guess that they were siblings in the first place.
“This is Ruon-Jian,” Jia-Li said when it became obvious that her brother wasn’t going to introduce himself. He was far too busy staring at something, his jaw dropped and his eyebrows raised, though when Jia-Li spoke, he was able to pull himself together, running his hand through his hair and then smirking.
“That’s right,” he said. “The name’s Ruon-Jian.”
“That’s what I just said,” Jia-Li said.
“What about you?” he said. You looked from side to side, wondering who he was talking to, and then you realized it was you, which meant that the thing he had been staring at was also…
“Ursa,” you said. “I’m Ursa.”
You weren’t sure how you felt about the attention. Maybe you liked it, or maybe you didn’t. It was strange and fluttering and unfamiliar in the pit of your stomach, and behind your back, you wrung your hands nervously.
“Ursa,” he said. “Great name. It’s as pretty as you are.”
“Um, I guess if I knew who my parents were, I’d pass along the compliment,” you said.
“Wicked,” he said. “So, what are you doing on Ember Island?”
“She’s my friend, idiot. My roommate from the academy,” Jia-Li said.
“Shh, Jia-Li, I’m trying to get to know her better! Stop talking and interrupting her,” Ruon-Jian said. You exchanged bewildered looks with Jia-Li’s mother, while at your side, Jia-Li fumed, the air shimmering from the heat she gave off as a Firebender.
“She’s right,” you said. “I’m her roommate back at school. She’s one of my greatest friends.”
“Sick,” he said.
“I don’t think I am,” you said, puzzled.
“It’s slang,” Jia-Li said.
“I understand,” you said, although you didn’t, not fully. This way of speaking was entirely foreign to you, but you figured that if you had Jia-Li with you to translate, you’d probably be alright.
“Who’s your family, Ursa?” Ruon-Jian said.
“I don’t have one,” you said.
“Word?” he said.
“He’s asking if that’s the truth,” Jia-Li whispered. “It’s like saying ‘really?’”
“It is the truth,” you said. “I have no memories. I am the girl that the royal family sponsored to study at the academy after I was rescued from the Earth Kingdom.”
“No way!” Ruon-Jian said. “That’s so cool!”
“Not really,” Jia-Li said. “She doesn’t remember anything. Including her family. Idiot.”
“If I could forget you, I’d do so in a heartbeat,” Ruon-Jian said.
“Well, I’d do the same!” Jia-Li snapped. You cleared your throat.
“I’m just grateful to Prince Zuko for saving me and ensuring my future,” you said. “He, and the rest of the royal family, are likely the reason I’m still alive and standing before you today.”
“Word,” Ruon-Jian said.
“I am not lying this time, either,” you affirmed.
“No, that was more of an expression of agreement,” Jia-Li said.
“I am a little confused,” you said. “But I shall trust you on this one, Jia-Li.”
“Do you have plans for the week?” Ruon-Jian said.
“Jia-Li is going to teach me to swim,” you said, beaming at Jia-Li, who gave you a high-five in return. “Beyond that, no, not really.”
“We were going to ask you if you could teach her to ride the flying dolphin fish,” Jia-Li said. “I know you’d never teach me, but—”
“Definitely!” Ruon-Jian said, cutting Jia-Li off. “I’ll teach you anything you want, Ursa.”
Heat rushed into your face, and you bit your lower lip, shifting from foot to foot nervously. Glancing at Jia-Li, who shrugged, you trained your attention on the ground instead of looking at Ruon-Jian when you responded.
“I think that that would be fun,” you said.
“We’ll get started tomorrow,” he said.
“Ruon-Jian, usually I’m joking when I say it, but you really are an idiot! How can you teach her to ride flying dolphin fish if she doesn’t even know how to swim?” Jia-Li said.
“The day after tomorrow, then!” Ruon-Jian declared. “See you around, Ursa!”
With that, he bounded back upstairs, taking the steps two at a time, leaving you, Jia-Li, and her mother standing in the foyer, somehow even more confused than before.
The next day was somehow sunnier and brighter than the previous, which was a relief, as it was the day you were supposed to learn to swim. At present, you were wearing one of Jia-Li’s sets of swimming clothes, your towel spread out on the sand as you looked at the ocean with furrowed brows.
“You ready?” Jia-Li said.
“I think so,” you said.
“Let’s go!” she said. Without waiting for you, she charged into the water, flopping onto her stomach once it was deep enough for her to do so. Not even taking a second to think, you sprinted in after her, and when the water rose to the level of your thighs, you didn’t second-guess yourself. Using your legs to push off, you dove into the water, jetting through it, forcing your eyes open and laughing soundlessly as you wove amongst the flowing bubbles and colorful fish that decorated the ocean.
It was many seconds later that you pushed your way to the surface, taking a deep breath, your legs churning the water so that you stayed afloat. Some ways away, Jia-Li had done the same, though she was busily scanning the shore for where you might be.
“Jia-Li!” you called out. “Over here!”
“Ursa!” she said, clapping her hands in delight. “I guess you do know how to swim!”
“I guess so!” you said, overcome with a rush of euphoria at the weightless feeling the water afforded you. Jia-Li paddled over to where you were treading, doing the same beside you so that you two could talk.
“That means you can learn to ride the flying dolphin fish sooner rather than later,” she said slyly. You lowered your eyes.
“Maybe,” you said.
“I knew it!” she squealed. “You have a crush on my brother!”
“No!” you said, far too quickly to sound convincing. “I mean. No.”
“You do!” Jia-Li said. “I can’t understand why you’d ever have a crush on him, but I guess there’s really someone out there for everyone.”
“I don’t even know him,” you said. “Sure, he’s cool and all, but I don’t know the first thing about who he is as a person. How can I say for certain that I have a crush or anything?”
“That’s why you have to get to know him,” Jia-Li said, poking you in the forehead. “Right?”
“True,” you said. “Then I can tell you for certain how I feel. What about you, though?”
“What about me?” she said innocently.
“When will I get to meet this mysterious crush of yours? You can hardly expect to pursue him if you never even go to see him!” you said. She splashed you with water.
“I’m not about to just go visit his house for no reason! It would be weird,” she said.
“Maybe a little bit,” you said. “But there has to be a way for you to accidentally run into him! And when I say accidentally, of course it won’t be an accident at all, but it’ll appear to be one.”
“Just forget about it,” Jia-Li said. “It’s not a big deal. If it’s meant to be, something will come up.”
“If that’s what you want,” you said. “But you have to promise me that if something comes up, as you say it will, you’ll really try your hardest.”
“Okay,” Jia-Li said in determination. “If there is some opportunity for me to talk to him, I’ll do it.”
“That’s the way!” you said. “Now, let’s race. I want to see how fast I am, too.”
“First one to that bit of driftwood wins?” Jia-Li said, pointing at a smoothed-over log floating in the distance.
“You’re on,” you said. “Three, two — hey, I didn’t say go yet! Jia-Li!”
You could not remember ever having as much fun as you did during that time on Ember Island. You and Jia-Li spent hours lazing around on the beach or swimming in the water, eating whatever her family’s chef prepared for you, drinking fruit juice that was sometimes sweet, sometimes sour, oftentimes both. At night, you would stay up until the moon was high in the sky, giggling and exchanging secrets and stories, making fun of your classmates and the boys in the Royal Academy for Boys.
“You know, one of them has a shrine dedicated to Kaho,” Jia-Li told you one night. You howled with laughter.
“No!” you said.
“Yes, he really does! He found a portrait of her and leaves money and food in front of it every week,” she said.
“You’re making that up,” you said.
“Nope, I found out during one of the sporting matches,” she said. “I was a little disgusted, but now that I see the humor in it, I confess I’m entirely amused by the entire thing.”
You would sleep late into the day, sometimes missing the morning entirely and only waking up for the afternoons. Jia-Li’s mother never scolded you two for it, saying that she was happy you were catching up on your rest, since dark circles were not comely on a woman or something along those lines.
Sometimes, Ruon-Jian would spend a few minutes with you both, but for the most part, he was off with Chan, his best friend and Kaho’s older brother. When he was with you, he was usually sitting at your side, making fun of his sister and complimenting you all at once. And even though you barely knew him, you had to admit that it was nice to have someone paying such close attention to you for once, treating you as if you were worthy of his time and entirely normal, the way he was, instead of tiptoeing around you and your lost memories.
“You ready, Ursa?” Ruon-Jian said, plopping down on the bench beside you as you and Jia-Li ate breakfast — or was it lunch, at this point?
“For what, Ruon-Jian?” you said, batting your eyelashes at him. From across the table, Jia-Li pretended to gag.
He elbowed you in the side. “To learn to ride flying dolphin fish, of course!”
“Yes!” you said, shooting to your feet. “I thought you’d forgotten!”
“How could I forget about you?” he said. “The currents just haven’t been right for a beginner recently. You should’ve seen how badly Chan wiped out the other day!”
You glanced at Jia-Li. She mimed falling over, and you gave her a discreet thumbs up.
“You didn’t fall, though, did you?” you said. Ruon-Jian beamed and flexed his arms.
“’Course not. I’m way better than Chan,” he bragged.
“Very impressive. Then there must be no one in the Fire Nation more equipped to teach me,” you said.
“Not a single person,” he agreed.
“I can’t bear to watch any more of this,” Jia-Li muttered to no one in particular. “You guys have fun. I’m going to collect our clothes so that they can get washed, Ursa.”
She left without another word, though as she walked away, you thought you caught her saying something about how you could do better. Ignoring it, you followed after Ruon-Jian towards the beach behind his house, struggling to keep up with his brisk stride.
“There’s a pod of flying dolphin fish that visits our beach pretty regularly,” he said. “We should be able to catch a ride there.”
“Okay,” you said. “Is it safe?”
“We’ll ride the same one, so I can look after you, but on the whole, flying dolphin fish are very docile, so as long as the waves are gentle, it’s fine,” he said. “That’s why I’ve been waiting to take you out.”
“That sounds good,” you said. He whistled.
“That’s how we call them. Now, we just have to wait until they come,” he said, pulling you forward to stand beside him.
“Then what?” you said.
“It’s a surprise,” he said. “Just kidding! Then we swim out and find the friendliest one and get on.”
It took a few minutes, but eventually, in the distance, there were splashes. Ruon-Jian whooped in delight, grabbing your hand and dragging you after him before you could protest.
“They were fast today!” he said. “Let’s go before they decide to leave again!”
Ruon-Jian was a little faster than you at swimming, though you had been faster than Jia-Li. You didn’t feel insulted, though; he spent much of his time in the ocean, so it was to be expected that he was better than both you and his sister alike. The end result was that he reached the flying dolphin fish before you, and had already mounted one by the time you swam up to its side.
“How do I get on?” you said.
“You don’t,” he said, using his legs to hold onto the body of the flying dolphin fish and then bending over to pull you out of the water and set you in front of him.
“Thanks,” you said, suddenly very aware of how close he was to you, how he held onto your waist and rested his chin on your shoulder.
“Just rest your hands on its head,” he said. “Like that. Good job! I’ll do all the steering and stuff with my legs, so don’t worry about that for now. All you have to do is focus on your balance.”
“Got it,” you said.
“Then let’s get going!” he said, clicking at the flying dolphin fish, which took off with a push of its powerful tail, propelling itself through the water. Its speed was breathtaking, and as the wind rushed against your face, tears gathered in your eyes, tears of joy and freedom and also of regret. When was the last time you had felt like this? When was the last time you had been so happy? Why didn’t you endeavor to be so more often?
Suddenly, the flying dolphin fish took off into the air, and then you were soaring. Everything faded away, the rest of the world and Ruon-Jian and the flying dolphin fish and even you. It was all nothing. You were all nothing. There was only the sky and the sea and the smell of salt on the wind, blue taking over your vision and almost, for a second, reminding you of something else.
Then you were slamming back into the water, the flying dolphin fish not even slowing its pace as it went from air to ocean. The spray that hit your face from the impact was enough to wake you up from the daze, and you were reminded of where you were and who you were and what you were doing.
“That was so fun,” you said as you and Ruon-Jian re-entered the house, still dripping with saltwater despite the towels wrapped around you both.
“It’s sick, right? I knew you’d like it,” Ruon-Jian said. “Speaking of things you might like…my friend Chan is holding a party later tonight. You wanna come?”
You perked up at the name Chan, knowing he was none other than the object of Jia-Li’s affections.
“Yes, but only if Jia-Li can come, too,” you said.
“Aw, no way! Chan never leaves her alone, and I don’t want my best friend bothering my little sister. It’s so odd!” he said.
“It’ll be really lonely for me to be at a party where I don’t even know anyone,” you said with a small frown.
“That’s fair,” he said.
“And she’s my friend, so it’ll be more fun for me if she’s there,” you continued. “That’s why I’ll only go if she can, too.”
“Okay, okay,” Ruon-Jian said. “Fine. She can come, too.”
“Yay! Thank you so much!” you said, clapping. “It’s going to be so much fun.”
“Sure will be,” he said. “You should go get ready, though. There’ll be a lot of influential people there, so you should try to look your best.”
“Of course,” you said. “See you soon!”
Luckily, Jia-Li had been right in assuming that you and her would be the same size. You had been wearing her clothes for the entire vacation, and tonight was no different, as she picked out something nice for you to put on for the party.
“Ursa, I’m convinced you’re a miracle worker,” Jia-Li said, shaking her head. “Seriously! How is it that you managed to get us invited to one of Chan’s parties? They’re super selective.”
“Simple. Your brother invited me, and I told him I’d only go if you could, too. He was initially a bit reluctant, since he seemed to think Chan wouldn’t leave you alone, but he came around,” you said.
“You’re the best,” she said.
“I honestly might’ve just said no from the get go, but I heard that Chan was hosting, and I knew we had to attend. This is literally the sign you were waiting for!” you said. “What are the odds that your brother would invite me to a party hosted by the man of your dreams?”
“Pretty high, considering he thinks you’re really attractive and the so-called man of my dreams is his best friend,” Jia-Li said. “But I know what you’re saying, and I agree. Enough about that, though. The only thing left is for us to do our best to look amazing!”
Because Ruon-Jian and Chan were best friends, you arrived at the party before anyone else so that you could help Chan set up. His house was enormous, according to Ruon-Jian, and he had said it would be greatly appreciated if you all could lend a hand. With a meaningful look at Jia-Li, you had accepted.
“I made sure that Chan knew what food you like, Ursa, so that he could serve it,” Ruon-Jian said, his arm tossed around your shoulders. “I want you to have the best time!”
“Aren’t you so romantic, brother?” Jia-Li said dryly.
“Thank you, Ruon-Jian,” you said.
“Anytime,” he said with a smirk.
“Ruon-Jian!” a tall, muscular boy said as he opened the door to the mansion. “I thought you’d never get here.”
“Jia-Li took forever getting ready, dude,” Ruon-Jian said. “By the way, Chan, this is Ursa. And Ursa, this is Chan.”
“It’s a pleasure to meet you,” you said.
“Pleasure’s all mine,” Chan said. “Did you say Jia-Li? Is she here?”
“I am,” Jia-Li from where she was hiding behind you and Ruon-Jian. “Hi, Chan.”
“Jia-Li! It’s been ages since I saw you last. How have you been?” Chan said, yanking her by the arm and into the house.
“Quit flirting with my sister!” Ruon-Jian shouted, though he went ignored by both Chan and Jia-Li. You patted him on the arm.
“It’s okay,” you said. “She doesn’t seem upset about it, so you shouldn’t be, either.”
“It’s just so freaky,” he said with a shudder. “Jia-Li’s my baby sister. She shouldn’t have guys interested in her, let alone guys that have been my best friend since I could count.”
“She’s grown up now,” you said. “She can make her own decisions. You should just support her.”
“If you think that’s what’s best,” he said reluctantly. “You’re pretty mature, you know.”
“It’s funny, I feel like I’ve heard that before, though I don’t quite recall who might’ve said such a thing,” you said. “It doesn’t matter; either way, thank you.”
Jia-Li and Chan were too busy talking with each other, and Ruon-Jian was too busy fixing his hair in the mirror, so the brunt of the party set up fell to you. You didn’t mind, though, liking the act of working, and you were so efficient that everything was ready right around dusk.
“The place looks great, Ursa,” Ruon-Jian said when you rejoined him in front of the mirror.
“Your hair does, too, so you can stop fiddling with it,” you said. He pulled you in by the waist, flashing a peace sign in the mirror.
“Don’t we look so good together?” he said. “It’s like…like you were meant to stand beside me.”
“I suppose so,” you said, though you weren’t sure if you would go so far as to say all that. Still, it was nice to know that someone thought you belonged with them, so when he began to lean in, you did not move away.
Right when his lips were about to brush against yours, there was a knock on the door. He drew back in irritation.
“Who is here this early?” he said. “Whatever. Where were we again?”
The moment was ruined, though, so you pretended to be preoccupied with straightening your clothes, your head tilted downwards so that he could not even catch your eye.
“These are some really punctual party guests,” you said. “No one else is here yet.”
“Yeah, punctual’s one word for it,” Ruon-Jian said, clearly taking the hint you had given him and hopefully not being too miffed about it. “Wait, it’s that group we invited when we were on the beach earlier! Should’ve known they’d be the type.”
“On the — Ty Lee?” you said.
The first one to enter, Ty Lee turned in search of whoever had said her name. When she noticed you standing beside Ruon-Jian, one of his arms still around your waist, your posture clearly still set towards him, her jaw dropped.
“Ursa?” she said. “What are you doing here?”
“I feel like that’s a question I should be asking you,” you said as she cartwheeled over to drag you away from Ruon-Jian and into a hug so tight you temporarily stopped breathing.
“We were just hanging out on the beach when we got invited to come by Chan and Ruon-Jian!” she said. “I can’t believe you’re here, too.”
“Ruon-Jian is Jia-Li’s older brother, and he’s best friends with Chan, so I think that my presence is a little more explicable than yours,” you said. “When you say we, though, who do you mean?”
“Me, Mai, Azula, and Zuko!” Ty Lee said, pointing at each of them in turn. Mai was sitting by a painting, glaring whenever someone tried to approach her, and the girl who must’ve been the infamous Princess Azula was talking to Chan while Jia-Li stood behind her, ostensibly shoved out of the way so that the princess could have her turn talking to the host.
As for Zuko, he was still awkwardly standing by the doorframe, though when he glanced over at you, his eyes widened. At first, relief filled them, but when he noticed your proximity to Ruon-Jian, a strange sort of malcontent settled over his expression.
“Zuko!” you said as he stormed over to you. Ty Lee looked at him and then back at you before promptly dashing over to Mai’s side, the only one who didn’t get glared at for daring to go near her. “What are you—?”
“Who is he?” he said.
“The name’s Ruon-Jian, dude,” Ruon-Jian said, holding out his hand for Zuko to shake. Zuko looked at it disdainfully before scoffing and then returning his gaze to you.
“He’s Jia-Li’s older brother,” you said.
“Right,” Zuko said sardonically. “That’s why the two of you are so close.”
“I’ve been staying at his house the whole time I’ve been on Ember Island, so yeah, it’s probably a contributing factor,” you said.
“I’m gonna go get some food, Ursa. There are some freaky vibes here right now that I don’t really approve of,” Ruon-Jian said, inching away.
“Do you like him?” Zuko said. You blinked, taken aback by the direct question. In his letters, he was so kind and tactful, so you had come to associate him with that sort of language. The elegance with which he wrote, the careful concern he always showed for whatever you said — all of it had caused a fondness for him to grow in you.
“He’s just my friend’s older brother,” you said. The way he was speaking now was as if he was accusing you and you had to defend yourself or face judgment, but what crime had you even committed in the first place? “He taught me to ride flying dolphin fish and invited me to the party. That’s all.”
“Of course,” he said. “He’s so cool, with his dumb hair and clothes and flying dolphin fish, so of course you like him. No surprise there.”
“Are you angry?” you said. “Why?”
“Am I angry?” he said. “No!”
“You sound a little angry,” you said meekly. “I just wanted to make sure.”
“Why would it even matter to you?” he said.
“I don’t know?” you said. “I was only asking.”
“Don’t ask questions for no reason, especially when you don’t care about the answer in the first place,” he said.
“But that’s not the case. I did care about the answer, or else I wouldn’t have asked,” you said.
“Well, next time, just ask that boyfriend of yours,” he said.
“Ruon-Jian?” you said.
“Yes?” Ruon-Jian said, appearing out of nowhere. “Here, this is for you.”
“You have such horrible timing,” you said under your breath, accepting the plate he handed you. “Zuko, have you eaten anything yet? There’s a lot of really good food out. I’m sure you’ll like it.”
“It’s all Ursa’s favorites!” Ruon-Jian said. “I made sure of it myself.”
“Oh, yeah?” Zuko said with a sneer. “What the hell do you know about her, anyways?”
“Yo, chill, dude,” Ruon-Jian said, holding his hands in the air. “Who even are you? I probably know more than you! Her and I are really close, you see.”
It was probably the worst thing he could’ve said. Zuko’s face darkened, and then, before any of you knew it, he was grabbing Ruon-Jian by the collar and throwing him into a nearby vase. You jumped at the noise before rushing over to help Ruon-Jian stand.
“I’m fine,” Ruon-Jian said, waving you off as he staggered to his feet. “What is your problem, dude?”
“Stay away from her,” Zuko said.
“Who are you to say that?” you said. “My benefactor? That doesn’t mean you get to control my life, Zuko! Why does it matter to you who I’m hanging out with? He’s from a perfectly respectable family, so it’s not like it’ll reflect badly on you. I don’t get what the big deal is!”
“Seriously?” Zuko said. “You think I care what family he’s from? Do what you want! It doesn’t matter to me. It’s what you’ll do anyways, so why should I try to stop you?”
“What happened?” you said. “Why has your opinion of me lowered so thoroughly? What have I done to offend you so greatly? I know that you are angry, and I know it is because of me, but I cannot understand why!”
“There’s a lot of things you can’t understand,” he said.
“I heard a crash, is everyone — who broke my nana’s vase?” Chan shrieked as he came back into the main room. Ruon-Jian pointed at Zuko. “You! I’ve had enough of you, alright? Get out of my party!”
“I was just leaving,” Zuko said, though not without one last glare at all of you.
“See you around, loser!” Ruon-Jian said.
“Jia-Li’s right,” you said as Mai, Ty Lee, and Princess Azula excused themselves as well. “You really are an idiot. Do you know who that was?”
“Some jealous loser?” Ruon-Jian said. You opened your mouth to argue before deflating, knowing that there was no point.
“Just forget about it. Let’s try to enjoy ourselves for the rest of the party,” you said.
Some time later, there was a knock on the door. Chan opened it, and then his face fell.
“Hello, Chan,” a voice that could only be Princess Azula’s said. “Thanks for inviting us earlier, but I have some unfortunate news to share.”
“The party’s over,” Zuko said, and then all four of them were in the room, sending bursts of fire everywhere, kicking the tables in half, swinging from the chandeliers and slicing up the paintings.
“What is going on?” Jia-Li shouted, covering her head with her hands.
“I have no idea,” you said. “Hey, what are you guys doing?”
Chan screamed as Mai threw a set of knives into a pair of antique paintings on the walls and the chandelier came crashing to the ground under Ty Lee’s weight. Jia-Li pulled you out of the way of a stray lick of blue fire from Azula, and you buried your face in your hands.
“This was a pretty terrible party,” Ty Lee said, dropping lightly to her feet in front of you. “You could say we’re showing our appreciation as guests!”
“By destroying his house?” you said as Zuko kicked an entire pillar in half.
“Yep! Wanna join?” Ty Lee said.
“No!” you and Jia-Li said in unison.
“To each their own!” Ty Lee said before springing away.
“Well…” Jia-Li said. “It would feel nice.”
“What? Why?” you said.
“I thought Chan was confessing to me on the balcony earlier, but it turns out that even though he does like me, he wants to live a free and unburdened life, without the commitment of having a girlfriend. He told me that the best he could offer me is a long-term arrangement in which he does what he wants and then spends some time with me whenever I’m on the island,” Jia-Li said.
“That’s horrible,” you said.
“And while I was out there, he told me that Ruon-Jian invited Mai and Ty Lee because he thought they were hot and he wanted a chance with them,” she continued. “So there’s that.”
You scowled, and even though you hadn’t been betrayed, it felt as if you had been. Naturally, you held no claim on Ruon-Jian, but the entire reason you had grown close to him in the first place was because you liked being someone’s priority. If you weren’t even that, then what was the point?
“Jia-Li,” you said. “Since it’s the prince and princess in charge of the destruction, you could consider it a royal order.”
“You could,” Jia-Li said, a grin creeping onto her face.
“And as students of the Royal Fire Academy for Girls, we are duty-bound to follow all royal orders,” you said.
“That we are,” she said.
“I think that means we have to participate,” you said.
“I think you’re right, Ursa,” she said.
“Of course, it’s not because we’re angry at Ruon-Jian or Chan or anything,” you said.
“Definitely not,” she agreed. “We’re just following in the prince and princess’s example.”
“That’s exactly correct,” you said. “After all, what are we but their humble and obedient servants?”
“Nothing, indeed!” Jia-Li said brightly. “All hail the royal family!”
With that, she ignited her hands and placed them right on a portrait of Chan as a child. You cheered before taking a steak knife and using it to cut up the curtains, tossing them into the fire she had started as kindling.
“I’m glad we’re friends, Ursa,” Jia-Li said.
“Yeah, I’m glad we’re friends, too.”
Ursa,
It wasn’t anything you did. I’m sorry; I was upset about something unrelated and took it out on you. You have no need to ask for my forgiveness — if anyone should be doing that, it’s me. Please, please forgive me for being so angry. I promise that I will make it up to you the next time we meet.
Yours, Zuko
P.S. I did not think that you and Jia-Li would join in, but I can’t say that I’m disappointed.
P.P.S. Ruon-Jian is ugly and his hair is terrible. You don’t need to be friends with him, anyways.
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201 notes · View notes
woniefull · 6 months
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we can't be friends
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hi guys!! this is my very first piece of writing! constructive criticism is always welcomed. please don't mind any grammatical/spelling errors. i wrote this at 2 in the morning and just wanted to do something fun. i still have a lot of room for improvement but i hope you guys enjoy!
warning: little angsty
song: we can't be friends (wait for your love) - ariana grande
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he was the sweetest boy to you when you had first met. his puppy eyes, gorgeous smile, and brown fluffy hair were what drew you in. his flirty words towards you, and only you, had you captivated in a heartbeat. 
that’s why you couldn’t believe what was unfolding in front of you right now.
“oh god please don’t start.” jake groaned as you stared at him with angry eyes. or was it hurt? he couldn’t tell. 
“i’m not starting anything! if anything you are! why are you still talking to your ex after the countless times she’s crossed the boundaries in our relationship? i’ve told you how i feel about her!" your voice croaked and you felt helpless.
you had always tried your best to not be that jealous girlfriend everyone hates. but how could you? jake was attractive and every girl tried to get at him. it didn’t help that he was oblivious to the advances the women around him would give. that’s why you would get angry, but never at him. 
“how many times do i have to tell you that she came up to me? i was just being polite by having a conversation with her”.
jake was sitting on the couch now. his hands covering his face, unaware of the tears forming in your eyes.
it always came down to this. you voicing your problem with jake entertaining other girls and him trying to reassure you.
trying.
you both were growing tired of the constant arguing. 
“jake she was pushing herself all up on you and you just stood there! can you imagine how that made me feel? watching my boyfriend have another girl's hands all over him as if she were the girlfriend?” you were hurt. it hurt. all of this hurt. you knew this wasn’t your boyfriend’s fault. he had always been a gentleman, one of the many qualities you loved about him. but his next words made you second-guess yourself.
“that’s just her character, doll. she’s always been like that from the moment i met her. this jealousy thing of yours really needs to stop, it’s not cute anymore”. jake almost immediately regretted his words as he saw your reaction. he knew he was wrong.
“you think i do this to be cute? am i joke to you?” you cried out.
you don’t remember when everything went wrong. you don’t remember the last time you felt secure in your relationship. maybe you weren’t ready for all of this. 
“no, love i’m sorry i didn’t mean that” jake said as he quickly got up and made his way towards you.
“i’m so sorry, i just had a difficult day that’s all”. he slipped his arm around your waist and used the other to wipe your tears away.
“jake”
he looked at your eyes.
no
“whatever you’re about to say please don’t” jake pleaded.
“jake i just think we aren’t ready for this. for us”. you started to sob again. 
“i think we need to let each other go. we need to grow and learn to understand ourselves before we can understand each other".
“please” jake said as he dipped his head into your neck.
you let him stay there for a while before you detached yourself from him. it was hard to because jake wouldn’t let go. he knew it would be a while before he held you again. 
“i’m sorry jake, i really am” you said with a small smile, trying your best not to completely break down again. 
“no i’m sorry, this is all my fault.”
“we both had fault in this jake, don’t blame yourself.”
you both stood there for a moment, observing each other. it was as if you guys were taking in your last moments together. 
“i’m leaving now jake”. you wasted no time in collecting your things in order to head to the front door. 
“thank you for everything, really. i know things didn’t end how we wanted them to but some of my best memories were with you. thank you jake”. 
jake just stood there, still in disbelief at how quickly things had unraveled. 
right as you were about to walk out he calls to you.
“can we still be friends?” a little hope is visible in his eyes. he hopes that you say yes so that he’s able to see you again.
“we can’t be friends”. and just like that you were gone. the only evidence of you ever being there was jake’s broken heart.
i’ll wait for your love jake thinks as he slowly walks over to the sofa and slumps down.
139 notes · View notes
cinnajun · 1 year
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ᵕ̈ ೫˚∗: zb1 and long distance relationships
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a/n: this was a fun request :) just in general, i think these guys would be pretty good at it (save for a few of them), mostly bc they’re young and very online
notes: yujin is not included due to his age!
wc | 2.5k
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from worst to best at handling it
jiwoong
long distance with jiwoong is just point blank difficult
like i’ve said before i feel like relationships with jiwoong are long lasting so
when you receive whatever opportunity that requires your presence overseas, you’ve been dating for at least a couple of years
your routine is set and there’s a high probability you’re living together
so it’s a major disruption in the flow of your lives
and it’s not to say that jiwoong doesn’t want you to go, nor does he want things between you two to end
it’s just hard to wrap his mind around not having you around for dinner or having to sleep alone :(
so yeah safe to say this is going to be a very difficult time in your lives
depending on how far you are, jiwoong will absolutely be visiting you and staying in whatever apartment you’ve found yourself in
if you’re close enough (aka flight less than 5 hours) he’ll visit multiple times, but anything more than that he’ll probably end up only going once
it’s hard to get time off when you’re a working adult </3
it’s the most difficult for the both of you during holidays
there are days off you had in korea that you don’t have off now, so you physically hurt knowing that jiwoong is sitting at home instead of being on your celebratory day-off dates
and it’s just hard to keep him updated on your life
you fall into a routine of when to call each other and whatnot pretty quickly though
you also write things you want to tell him down in your notes app so when you’re talking you don’t miss anything
and really the main thing that gets you through this is those little sort of habits that you learn to have along the way
but man. you cannot wait to go home
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hanbin
this might be a hot take but i think hanbin would hate being in a long distance relationship
in the beginning, he’s absolutely convinced that everything will be fine and nothing will change
his mindset is “i kept my friendship with matthew up while he was in canada, so what’s stopping me from keeping up my relationship with my s/o”
and then a week passed without you and he got really depressed
i think being in a relationship with hanbin means spending a lot of time together, holding hands, and staying near him
so when you’re so far that he can’t even fly to you easily it’s just so difficult for him
but his last resort is breaking up with you
like it’s seriously his worst-case scenario
when hanbin loves someone, he loves them very, very hard
so he will do everything in his power to keep your relationship going, but relationships are a two way street
so you need to put in the work that he’s putting in, too
obviously you’re likely abroad because you’ve taken an opportunity (aka a job) so you can’t be online all the time but
call him when you’re free, tell him when you’re going to be busy, and let him know about every single little victory that you have so you can celebrate together
and, for the love of god, do NOT bring up the fact that you can tell he hates long distance
i’m so serious with this one
hanbin absolutely will not tell you that he doesn’t like it
because, if he knows you know, he’ll feel like you feel like he’s not willing to fight for your relationship (does this sentence make sense)
but just know when you get back you’ll watch him finally relax after like 50 years lol
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taerae
i’m going to keep it short: taerae’s heart shatters into a million pieces when you break the news to him lol
like obviously he tells you he’s proud of you and that he couldn’t be more excited for you it’s just that he’s actively crying as he says that
with taerae i think you actually almost reject whatever offer you’ve received, but you pretty quickly realize that doing that would make him feel worse so you decide to muscle through it
the worst part of long distance with taerae is the like week before you leave
he cries a lot and then feels bad for crying but he doesn’t want you to go you know
when he drops you off at the airport you have to take hanbin with you because he’s crying too hard to drive back to his apartment
he hugs you outside the airport doors for like 5 minutes and hanbin has to be like okay … let’s go now … okay … we need to let them get on their flight …
and then you ugly cry for half the flight … like someone reports you to the flight attendant and they’re like is everything okay ?? and you’re like no i just left my boyfriend in korea
after that i think it’s not nearly as bad as you both thought it was going to be LOL
he’s a lil bit (incredibly) clingy at first and gets rly butthurt when you don’t update him on your every move, but then he cries to hao and hao is like “here are some tips!”
then he’s very sweet
taerae will send you videos of him playing the guitar or of him just screwing around with the boys
he also sends you cringy little paragraphs about how much he loves you and how proud of you he is
obviously taerae misses you but tbh it’s like you never left
the only reason he’s not higher up is the pure agony you went through for that week before
taerae the man that you are
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gunwook
graduated from taerae school of how do i deal with my s/o going abroad for a bit
he acts all cool with it
when he drops you off at the airport he gives you the gunwook bear hug and is like “i’ll see you later! love you!”
then you get off the plane 10+ hours later and you have like 17 texts from gyuvin describing gunwook going through the 5 stages of grief
it’s actually kinda funny ngl because it’s like a picture of him hugging a pillow with a pint of ice cream in his hand while he watches your favorite movie and cries
also like taerae, everything is absolutely fine within like a week
gunwook’s really cheesy while you’re gone though and that’s how you tell he really misses you
he’s making playlists and posting old cute pics of u on his story with the caption “10,000 km away”
gyuvin also told you that he giggles and kicks his legs every time you text him when he’s not expecting it
he also just hangs out with your family while you’re abroad
he’ll text you like “damn y/n your mom made the most delicious dinner tonight” and you’re like ??? without me????
you later find out your mom invited him over so they could be sad and miss you together which is soooo embarrassing
gunwook will mail you random items from your room and with a note that says “why didn’t you take this” as if you didn’t meticulously pack every single thing you brought with you
so then you have to spend money to mail it back because you don’t want to have to buy another suitcase (you end up having to anyway, but you’re still glad you mailed the things back)
when you get back he cries in your arms for like an hour lol
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gyuvin
gyuvin acts like it’s not a big deal but lowkey it’s the biggest deal in his life
he’s like “omg congrats do u wanna get dinner”
that night he cries in hao’s arms like a little baby and then he gets over it
he’s genuinely so happy for you, and there are no strings attached to that excitement
one of his closest friends left his home to pursue his dreams so he should let you leave to pursue them too, you know?
the only reason gyuvin isn’t higher actually is because the other three are long distance from everyone they know LOL
long distance with gyuvin is remarkably similar to just being there with him
when he’s hanging out with friends you’ll be on the phone (albeit muted) just in case you need to contribute to the conversation
and he gets really excited when you have him on the phone while you chill out with your (new) friends
assuming you’re studying abroad because gyuvin’s not old enough to have an s/o with a job that has overseas opportunity, a lot of your time is spent in your dorm so you can call him </3
gyuvin is very popular with your overseas friends and they all follow him on instagram
any time someone hits on you they let him know and also let him know that they told whoever hit on you that you’re TAKEN!!
obviously he doesn’t enjoy knowing that people are hitting on you and he can’t do anything about it but he appreciates that your friends shut it down
all in all i think this is a healthy era of your relatioship and it strengthens your trust in one another a lot
but he prefers you being there with him so come home soon pretty please <3
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ricky
yeah long distance with ricky is barely an issue
like when you tell him he’s like “oh…okay” and then he’s sad for a little bit
but then he’s sending you off like nothing is wrong!!! and truly nothing is wrong
i think actually you’d be more sad than ricky is but that’s not to say he’s not going to miss you at all
of course he is
but ricky is a seasoned misser and knows how to keep up relationships from far away (even if he’s never had experience with it being a romantic relationship) so he’s mostly concerned with brainstorming the best ways to like keep things going in a way that isn’t jarring
he consults pretty much everyone he knows on what they think he should do, almost like he’s collecting data or something
so once you actually leave ricky is pretty interactive and prepared for your escapade!!!!
he texts you at specific times of day he knows you aren’t busy and you schedule daily calls at the same time once you know your every day schedule
like gyuvin i’m assuming you’re studying abroad, so your class schedule is on ricky’s home screen (it’s a picture widget) but it’s been translated into his timezone
sometimes he texts you during classes he knows you don’t like and you’re like … isn’t it 4 in the morning
he doesn’t answer that question
but to be fair you do the exact same thing so can you really talk…
like gyuvin, your overseas friends LOVE ricky
sometimes he will sponsor you doordashing dinner and by extension your friends (except you make them pay him back LOL)
and they think he’s the funniest guy ever
bonus: sometimes gyuvin will text you pictures of him scrolling through old texts </3
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hao
is this at all shocking
he’s so perfect
doesn’t even bat an eye when you tell him you want to go away for this opportunity you have
“okay! how long until you leave? are they paying for your flights? do you want to start packing now? do we need to get clothes for different weather?”
once you’re off he does get a bit sad but he promises himself that by the time you’re off the plane he’ll be feeling better
he breaks the promise but you don’t know that because he acts like everything is just fine!!!
throughout the duration of your time away, communication with hao is very steady and consistent
you’re each putting in enough energy for a perfect 50/50 split <3
when you start making friends overseas, you show them hao and they’re in awe that you managed to bag the most perfect person on earth
this makes you sad, not because you’re jealous, but because hao would say they should be more surprised he managed to bag you </3
like ricky, he will also sponsor your meals from time to time!! sometimes he doordashes stuff to your place without even telling you like its that serious
hao is the champion at curing your homesickness, mostly because he figured out how to cure it for himself first
if you ever feel like things are too much and you need to leave, he will drop everything to go out there and get you feeling back up to things
he sends little presents every time you have a big achievement or an exciting event
and he’s the number one endorser of getting yourself little treats when you’re feeling proud of yourself
he’s so proud of you
and he’s so happy you got to experience something so exciting
but he can’t lie, it is a big breath of fresh air when you get back lol
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matthew
tbh for the sake of this let’s pretend you went to canada bc
why can i see you moving in with matthew’s family idk
you tell him about the opportunity and he’s like My mom will host you
you end up living with his sister LOL
because of that it’s barely like you’re gone
i mean he can come visit you for an extended amount of time and he gets to see his family so its like 2 in 1
in all actuality it doesn’t matter where you go, long distance with matthew is EASY PEASY!!!
i can see him being really trusting in a relationship and that makes things so much easier than not
the first time you get invited out you ask him “hey i got invited to a party tonight, is it okay if i go” and he’s like “ya why wouldn’t it be?? why are you asking me??”
okay feminist
he makes you watch anime with him over like teleparty or something </3 but it’s cute bc his chat reactions are like adorable
#3 of the “your friends love him squad”
they all ask you how you managed to find him because he literally doesn’t care what you do as long as you’re not cheating on him (and you would never do this)
and he’s all happy go lucky every time you talk
when he visits they’re in love with him (PLATONICALLY)
they all ask about his friends in the “haha do you have a brother” way and he’s like “my friend hanbin!”
so now all of your overseas friends want to date hanbin which is awkward
he will also make you buy like presents and things for his friends’/family’s birthdays
obviously with his money but he’s like “can you go to (store) and pick up (item) and then wrap it up and give it to my mom”
it’s very silly
all in all matthew is the long distance relationship you DESERVE!!!!
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thank you for reading!
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tuliptic · 2 years
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"You're the death of me," they said. But why? And how?
Piles go from left to right, photos are taken by me, everything is literally by me. And I do not consent my work being used by third parties in other websites as well.
Now. Breathe in with me, and then breathe out. Picked your pile? Let's find out what are the answers
Disclaimer: This is solely for my entertainment purposes. Take only whatever you feel like it. If it doesn’t resonate, it’s okay to just drop it. 
Content warning: Sexual topics mentioned briefly without much details. Just to let y’all know beforehand.
Decks used: Luna Cat Tarot Deck (Major Arcana), Kawaii Tarot Deck, Sweet Dreams Oracle Deck, Starcodes Astro Oracle Deck, self made decks.
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Pile 1:
With The Emperor being the overall energy in this pile, what I’m seeing here is some self demanding, where you have high expectations of yourself, and others as well at times. You have your idea of how you hold your destiny, and you often expect the same of others, probably why you may feel weird that people are not willing to improve or why would you have an FS and all those questions. Change is also very prominent here, where you live for changes, and changes often come to you. What I’m mainly feeling here is a soulmate relationship (there’s The World and The Lover) coming out for you in other places and… Yeah, just take it as you see fit. Cuz with all the questions you have about yourself and others, your FS is still head over heels, madly thinking about you all time.
Emotional attraction: Three of Cups rx 
Pfft for some feeling, your FS might want to start a fling with you, something short, something not so serious. But oh how the tables have turned, cuz seeing you with how you’re not someone to mess with may make them want to have you. It’s the cliche “I can fix him” trope, except you have no intention of fixing anyone. It’s just they’re learning from you about the ways of life and have been slowly seriously attracted by you. And they change. There’s a Death card in the entire reading and it symbolizes the dying of old ways and embracing the new ways. The catalyst? It’s you. They’re changing for the better because of you as they wanted to be the right one to be by your side, to be someone you’re willing to show off.
Emotional addiction: Eight of Cups rx 
And now we come to this card. Do y’all know one of the messages for this card is fear of change? There we go! There’s a lot of fear in your FS, but that somehow gets them more addicted to you. Fear of you leaving, fear of being left behind in terms of work progress or status in life, and many other more fears. You never wanted him to feel those emotions, but they just… Sorta has it. Prolly cuz of the trauma they experienced when they were younger. But all these fears just made them want to be better, pushed them to be better to be your equal. No, not masochistic tendencies but just… You. It’s all because it’s you and they want to achieve what you’ve achieved, so that you can look into their eyes and say “I noticed you, I saw you, I’m looking at you now.” kinda thing. 
Physical attraction: The Fool rx
This pile is starting to make more and more sense cuz The Fool in reverse gives me the feeling of maturity, as it’s the opposite of a fun and new beginning. You prolly have had a lot going through in your life, specifically school, career or family. Hence, there’s this old soul kinda vibe in you, where you may unconsciously present the more mature side of you. You may be young, yes, but people tend to say you look older than your age because of how your eyes focus on things, how your thoughts have formed you to be who you show to the outer world. Which was probably what made them want to have a fling with you because they wanted to see what it’s like beneath that hard shell.
Mental stimulation: Six of Cups rx
Honestly speaking, at this point I’m already tired of talking about mental maturity here but still the cards are telling me that. As your FS gets to know you more, they noticed that you’re working on yourself more and that you’re resolving any childhood issues, any traumas that have made you who you are today. While you appreciate being the strong you right now, wounds still need to be healed. This part of it just makes them amazed. They’ve prolly never needed to go through this and don't know the difficulties in healing your inner child. But they are willing to learn. They wanted to know more about you, about how amazing you’ve flourished, and they fall in love with you again and again.
Other forms of addiction: Knight of Swords rx
-Covers face in agony- ‘Aite let’s get back in. Your FS prolly has a tendency of annoying you just to hear whatever sarcasm or witty words you’ll be throwing back at him. I swear to god I don’t think they have a masochistic personality but the cards seem to tell me otherwise. ANYWAYS. Back to what we’re talking about here. They prolly like how you (lightly) hit them when they said something annoying or cheesy, since you’re prolly not very used to them. Or maybe they teased you a lot, thinking you didn’t know what they’re talking about, while you understood every single word and retorted back in the same way/language.
Remember what I said earlier in the first paragraph? About this being a soulmate relationship? Yeah. There may be fights and disagreements in life, but y’all know how to resolve it instead of sweeping it under the carpet. You both understand the importance of connecting with each other and that’s one thing that’s very telling. You two attracted each other into your lives and you slowly let go of whatever self criticism you have.
Ooh, one thing I need to share with you is that they like you, they love you a lot. They may act all nonchalant or fun and cheesy, but deep down in their hearts they’re really REALLY madly in love with you. They want you to hug them and to love them, just like how much they love you, just like how much their life depends on you showering them with the love they crave for. They are your other half, and y’all need to explore the ways of balancing the relationship because the past may be a ‘lil rocky.
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Pile 2:
The overall energy of this pile is hella intense. When the two cards fell out, I wanted to take only one but then upon looking at them, yeah they're gonna be a pair, cuz it's The Tower and The Devil. Personally I feel that there's no black and white in the energy present here. It's just, intense. No it's not all over the place, it's just at a place and it's building its strength there. 
I'm trying to keep this PG 13 but not gonna lie, it does give me a huge sexual energy between the both of you. No one should be judging you on that, not even yourself. Some may be easily sexually attracted to other people so yeah.
Emotional attraction: The Chariot rx
They like how things build up, letting the pining and tension between you two simmer. Or maybe how you’ve put a distance between you and them, only allowing them to slowly approach you. They like the pursuit, the chase, the patience and strategic planning to approach you. It's like... Extending the sexual tension in between you two. Yes it's there but instead of raving and rushing through it, it's gonna be like... Let it level up slowly until you're madly in love with them, until you can't think of anyone else other than them. 
Emotional addiction: Eight of Pentacles
They get hooked onto you by seeing how you've been working on yourself, how you've been wanting to master a particular skill, or multiple skills. I'm not surprised if this pile is learning a lot of things and wants to get good at it. Them seeing you getting better at saying the corniest pick up line just makes them fall for you even more. The way you focus on getting your shit done? Perfect. It'll make them torn cuz they want you to do your best and yet they also wanna kiss you and tell you that you're amazing. Honestly speaking, having both is possible you'll need to tell them that.
Physical attraction: Page of Swords
There's this youthful look/glow that you have. It's not gonna be about the appearance but the energy you give out. Probably have air influence in your rising sign (signs, degrees, Mercury, Venus or Uranus conjuncting your AC). There's this liveliness that you expressed when they first noticed about you, and that constantly be one thing they looked for in you. They love the air energy of yours and will get worried if you're not as upbeat as you were, or not as witty as you used to be. For some reason, the way you send text may also say something about it? Do you use a lot of emojis in your text? That too.
Mental stimulation: Six of Pentacles rx
Shrewd with your words. You're actually someone who's really smart and has a lot of concrete knowledge. Instead of the air type of intelligence, where one knows a lot of things and random knowledge, your sort of intelligence is something that you've learnt throughout the years, through your pains and tears. Those are what we're talking about here. And it's gonna take a lot of probing and coaxing from their side to get to know you better. You're the exact opposite of an open book; you're a sealed book. And guess what? They have the magic key to unseal you. You trust them and are willing to share about yourself, but those were already ingrained and you, to the point you don't know how to tell your story, which part of the plot to focus on and all. And this is what stimulates them the most.
Other forms of addiction: Two of Pentacles
For some reason, this balance over here is giving me peak Libra energy, of wanting things to be fair and square. Yess boo I'm looking at you. Instead of talking about addiction, it's more of how they're attracted to your need to have things in balance, and want things to be fair, equal give and take, especially in terms of money. It's giving me the feeling of gift gifting, where you match the same with your FS. 
Another thing I'm picking up on is that you tend to have great guts or intuition on certain things with people around you, for people around you. But not towards yourself. It's time to trust your feelings cuz there will be a lot of downloads from the universe coming to you, and you're called to accept the changes coming your way because that's what your FS is bringing every single day. If you're single, it's time to manifest your dreams, desires and goals.
You activated so many potentials in your FS, expanded the view they have towards the world. This partnership that you two share holds a lot more meaning that you could never think of. Juno is significant here too so you may check your Juno sign in astrology.
Also, don't hide things from your FS because you think it's too much for them. They rather two to share the burden instead of you shouldering everything. You guys will share a lovely marriage together, so please let your thoughts out and share them together. They're prolly insecure as well, and they are head over heels with you cuz you're always in their head, making them unable to think of anything else. You're literally the death of them.
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Pile 3:
The overall energy that you give your FS is that you’re not one to be messed with, that you have this air of regality over you, and you’re sitting in your throne, knowing what you want and what you work for. You steer your way through the sea of life, no matter how hard and harsh the waves may be. These all made your FS head over heels for you, cuz the confidence you have is different from the atrocities others have.
Emotional attraction: Wheel of Fortune
This card appeared twice in the entire spread and I really like to think that this is a fated connection, something that’s like soulmate. They’re somehow attracted to you upon meeting you or interacting with you, and slowly but surely, they fell for you. Sounds cliche, but that’s what the cards say, not me. Also, instead of saying it’s purely fate, I strongly believe that you’ve been working on yourself and your FS sees that. Whatever effort you’ve put in working with yourself is seen. They see it and acknowledge it, appreciating how you’ve strived to make yourself a better person.
Emotional addiction: Nine of Pentacles rx
Somehow somewhat, there’s this sense that they like how you’re not independent at times. You’re sitting on your throne, having everything and anything you want. Yet sometimes, you just want to act spoiled and lean on someone while not giving a shit with the responsibilities in life. They like how you trust them to the point you let your shield down with them, allowing them to see your most vulnerable side and letting them pamper you. With this, it makes it seem that they have a reason to stay by your side, although they know very well that the entire relationship is balanced.
Physical attraction: Six of Pentacles
The way you’re generous with the people in need, the people you care for, and most importantly, generous with yourself. It’s very obvious in how you care for people, and there may be a chance that one of your love languages is gift giving. But yeah, that is something that caught their attention, especially when you spend money to "decorate" yourself, and people also do the same for you because you helped them too. Something here gives me the feeling that some of you may like having inks on you, or have the habit of writing things/reminders on your hands. Man imagine you writing something on your hand and your FS just takes your hand over in theirs to see what you've written. That just happened in my head okay.
Mental stimulation: Page of Wands
Creativity is something that links you both together. You both have some artistic traits that you two interrelate. For some reason, I thought of one composing music for a poem the other wrote, or one drawing a comic for a fic the other wrote. You both like to keep things fresh and explore various topics, and they enjoy their time with you a whole lot cuz it's never boring or dull with you. There's also a touch of youth here where they feel like they're constantly learning new things about the world, learning new things about your interests, and most of all, learning new things about you. There are so many layers to you and they'd love to understand you and get to know you more.
Other forms of addiction: Four of Cups rx
Once again, instead of saying there's addiction, I feel that this card here tells that you've freed them from their stagnation, from whatever they've been holding in the past, and all they focus on right now is to see how they can move forward with you in the future. Just a scenario to explain this: They may have had a crush in the past and it's just difficult to move past. But then you appeared and slowly replaced the crush he had on the other person, and now they're focusing on you, with every intention to grow with you instead of standing in the same place. It's as though their eyes are now opened and they know what they want to focus on, and they work on it. 
The theme of stagnancy is pretty prominent in this reading, and it's highly cuz of you. This is something very different from what I've written above cuz this is definitely you. You've been unwilling to get out of your shell, only wanting to stay in your mind. And at times, this trait of yours makes them want to shake those thoughts out of your head. High possibilities that you may feel yourself are unworthy of love and think that no person that charming and attractive will be romantically interested in you. 
This is your calling to surrender the self-limiting beliefs and to welcome the new magic into your life. It's difficult, yeah, but baby steps. I believe this community is with you to celebrate every little success you've achieved. Time to put this coping mechanism of not wanting to feel disappointment and rewire the thoughts that failure is never a disappointment. We're all just small beings in life so what's wrong in falling a little? You're not gonna be like Evergreen being stuck at the Suez Canal anyways.
By surrendering the old past, only you will be awakened and will be reborn into limitless possibilities, heck, even things you've never been able to imagine. Your guides are watching over you and have wanted to work with you, to show you the miracles of life, to show you how wonderful the world can be, how abundant in blessings and support you are.
There are times that your FS may wanna confront you and your toxic behaviours and you may question if you were meant to be together. But know that even the best team out there takes time to work together. That's the same with you both, where you two are the strongest combination you'll ever have to venture into a future together. You're their first and their last, and they wanna hold your hand and dance with you. Don't think lowly of yourself, you can't imagine how lonely they feel without you by their side and how much they want your presence.
You may not see it now, but you're a butterfly. When the time comes, you will be reborn again and transformed anew.
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glitzreyasblog · 8 months
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Hi girl! Well i want to manifest high grades in my exams but sometimes when i pass the exam and then the teachers returns my papers i find them bad...and then i give up persisting, how do i fix that? It Also a problem with changing my past grades, it just the 3d circumstances triggers me and that would make me think that it impossible to change my grades. I Hope you see my Ask and thank you 💗
hey, anon, thanks for asking ! ♡
first, nothing is impossible. the truth is everything is available to you and everything is possible. so even if you don’t always believe everything is possible, know that the truth is that every possibility is at your fingertips.
I understand that the 3D can be triggering, I mean, of course it is! if it’s in your face 24/7 how could it not annoy you? but at the end of the day, as long as you realize that the 3D and it’s circumstances literally mean nothing and can’t do anything to impact your manifestations— you’re good.
also, the 3D is neverrrr a source of confirmation or validation. don’t look to it and take whatever it says as the last word. it’s not in the 3D, so what? keep going. There’s no such thing as giving up since you’re always manifesting, giving up simply means persisting in the assumption you don’t want.
the 3D always look at you for validation anyways. everything in the 3D comes from you because the 3D is you, there’s no separation! so don’t believe that the 3D can create on its own or that whatever happens in the 3D is set in stone. keep doing your thing and the 3D has no choice but to follow— that is a guarantee.
I really recommend reading these posts by @etherealkissed88 , as soon as I saw your ask, her posts popped into my head:
indifference towards the 3D
applying the law while experiencing the 3D
(I rlly recommend her blog too! it’s been incredibly helpful for me and allowed me to find success in my loa journey 🫶)
don’t look at your grades in the 3D and take that as a sign that “it didn’t work”. don’t take anything that happens in the 3D as a sign of anything. the 3D literally means nothing, so don’t let it stop you. the only one who can change your reality is you, so dont give up just because the insignificant 3D shows you something.
ps, it’s perfectly okay to have doubts. lots of people manifest even with doubts, anxiety, negative thoughts, etc. once you’ve decided that you have it, it’s done. nothing can take that away from you. so do whatever you want, interact with the 3D, while knowing you already made the decision that it’s yours.
and remember, the 3D can only change once there is a change in self.
aside from my advice, I’d also like to share my experience, because I used to be in a similar situation. I depended on the 3D for confirmation so much it’s not even funny. I’m proud to say that now my mindset is completely different and i couldn’t care that much about the 3D if I tried. what helped me the most was learning and understanding the significance of imagination. learning the importance of imagination and self was what changed the game for me. I was able to give myself everything I wanted in my imagination, I was able to fulfill and change self with ease and I had never felt more free doing so. It also made me a million times more sure in my decision that I had what I wanted. because why would I care about the 3D and what it was showing me if i had everything i wanted in the 4D— the real reality. so, if your 3D grades are bothering you then simply have fun in the 4D! what do you desire aside from the grades? Is it the satisfaction of achieving such high marks? Is it the pride you’ll have in yourself once you get the top score? Is it relief you want to feel? Do you want to impress your peers? Or is it academic validation you want? Whatever it is, give it to yourself within. and don’t just do that for the sake of change in the 3D, for the sake of getting something, do it because you’ll feel how you want to feel. do it because you’ll feel confident in the assumption you have high marks.
give yourself something to fall in love with in imagination.
another ps (I swear I’m almost done just stay with me😭😭) it’s also worth mentioning that you as the outer man can do absolutely nothing to change the outer world, nor should you strive to. the only way to change the 3D is to change self, change imagination. to create a new assumption which then turns into a new identity.
at the end of the day, it all comes back to the inner world. a change in the 3D can only be created by a change in the 4D. so you either make the change or get stuck in the cycle that is putting the 3D on a pedestal. the choice is yours.
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moonybug444 · 11 months
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cheater
tw: kinda dark, forced oral (male receiving), a lot of crying, lowk very traumatic, fast cat driving?? like but mean, connie threatens to kill you a couple times ———————————————————————- connie catches you cheating and decides to help you learn your lesson.
“no way,” you giggle. “told you i’ve got a boyfriend.”
the handsome man’s eyes are dilated from whatever the hell he took earlier as he stares down at your body caged between his arms.
“yeah?”
“yeah.”
he frowns, a look of faux confusion masking his face when he brings his hand above his eyes and slowly looks around. “i dunno pretty, i’m not seeing anybody around? sure he’s here?”
“oh m’sure,” you grin, looking behind him to see an angry connie stomping towards you. “he’s real mean too, you better go on before you get yourself into somethin’—”
“—don’t you worry about that, sweetheart,” he grabs your soft hands and kisses right on your knuckles, you bat your falsies and coo up at him, rubbing your free hand on his chest. this’ll really piss connie off. “i’ll handle him if he comes, now you gonna dance with me or what?”
he’s grabbing you by the waist and pulling you in towards the dance floor. he takes one, two, three steps with you on his side before his body gets folded in half. face swelling and his consciousness getting lost.
connie stands before you, fist stinging and his nostrils flaring. “go get in the car—”
“what the fuck is your deal?!” you’re leaning down and checking up on the handsome man, “he didn’t even do anything—”
“(name),” he grits out, “go get in the fucking car.”
“bite me.”
jean, eren, and armin are seated back on some love cushions in the corner of the club, watching the scene play out. connie shakes his car keys while looking at them, signaling it’s time for him to go.
“s’fuckin annoying,” jean slurs, letting the alcohol do the talking. “i mean we came out here to take his mind off of her hic and she’s here too?…the hell.” armin nods at that.
“he definitely fucking knew! and hic and i-i’ll say it! they need to get the hell away from each other. he's costing our fun!”
eren’s too busy watching your ass bounce in the tinny tiny pink skirt you wear while you try and pull away from connie tugging you towards the exit of the club. “yeah..what a whore.” he licks his lips and gets up to go to the bar going to get his nth drink for the night. he’s got a scary drinking tolerance.
—————————————————————————
you’re scratching & pounding on connie’s arm, trying to wiggle yourself out of the tight hold he has on your arm when you guys get outside.
“who drove you here?” you ignore him.
there’s a beat of silence before he’s grabbing you by the hair and facing you towards him, making tears well up in your eyes, “don’t piss me off (name).”
“oww—nobody connie, i took an uber, let-let go.”
he loosens his grip but doesn’t fully let go. he waits until the few people around are entering the club or going to their cars before turning to you again. daring you to move with his eyes. you don’t. you know how mean he gets when he’s like this. “pull your skirt down. you look like a fucking hooker.”
your reply comes quick and you scratching at his arms, trying to get him to get the hell off your hair. “might as fucking well be. i-i bet that any guy could treat me better as a hooker than you do as your fucking girlfriend!”
“yeah like you have any right to say that after letting some fucking douche bag—”
“—i told him i had a boyfriend..!”
“so that’s why you were rubbing yourself all over him? got it.”
you stomp your feet. “you act like you don’t do the same shit all the time. if not more—”
“i’m not a thirsty ass bitch like you,” he laughs, “never cheated a day in my fucking life, honest to the ones above.”
he’s going to hell. you remember the times he’s messed with more than a few girls. some right in front of your face and you bet some in secret.
he doesn’t care about the toll it takes on your mental health, no. all he’s worried about is fucking more pussy.
you snatch your hand away from him and attempt to walk away before connie’s pulling you back by your arm and giving you one stern look.
he looks you up and down before tightening his jaw and grabbing you harshly by the arm. “you must want guys to look at you like your a walking fucking pussy.”
connie’s sick of you running around in your whore clothes embarrassing him. he’s sick of his friends looking at you like a piece of meat. he’s sick of feeling like he’s constantly fucking sharing you with the whole world. why do you have to walk out the house like you’ve never had any home training? or why do you have to dress like you’re begging someone to bend you over and fuck you. your supposed to be his girlfriend. he’s supposed to see. so why does everyone in the club get to see the same shit that he does?
it’s not like he hasn’t told you before about the shit you wear and how it affects his and your image. you just don’t give a fuck. he sees that. that’s ok though. he’s gonna really seal it in your brain.
his mind is racing all the way till he shoves you in the car, gets in himself, and starts it. he gives you a once over staring at you for a minute before putting his eyes back on the road.
“thought i told you to throw that away?”
he’s referring to the top you’re wearing. you know he is. that’s why you wore it out tonight. the shirt isn’t even that bad. it’s just a cute fitted top with a low cut. he called you a whore when he saw you in it the first time. told you to throw it away.
it’s nothing new.
you don’t answer him, instead you turn your whole body towards the door and cross your arms. hopefully he gets the hint.
he hates when you fucking ignore him. you know he does. that’s why you do it all the time, he knows it. still let’s it get under his skin though.
“are you fucking deaf?” he raises his voice. “i said why didn’t you throw that shit away?” you hear the irritation in his voice.
you don’t really feel how fast the car is going until you look at the speed limit. 75mph and then 80…and then eventually he’s crossing the 90’s.
sitting up in your seat you glance at him then the horizon, feeling the hairs on your body rise.
connie lives kind of far out. to get to his apartment you cross this long, long highway bridge. he knows how much you hate crossing it. it scares you so much that if you feel like he’s going even a little too fast you start to tear up.
“w-what the fuck are you doing?!”
he should feel guilty but he doesn’t. you’ve crossed too many lines tonight. you were bound to get a punishment anyway.
“you must hate me huh? must hate yourself don’t you baby?”
he presses on the gas.
your hand automatically goes to grab his arm, staring down at the empty road ahead.
“connie…can we please just—”
“you want me to drive us off the fucking bridge?want me to drive us into the fucking water (name)?”
you gasp, just him saying that making you shiver.
“what?! no…connie i—”
you’re too scared to even look at the speed he’s going but you can feel that it’s more than 90. is he going in the 100’s now? no he can’t be. he wouldn’t do that with you in the car right? he’s done it before but that was a while ago. he’s changed. he promised he’d never do that again.
“c-connie, stop!” you’re gasping and reaching out to hold him, “‘m’scared connie, m’fucking scared”
he takes his eyes off the road completely just to mess with you a little—still going his full speed—he takes one hand from the wheel and grabs your chin.
“you gonna answer my fucking question?”
you’re hysterical, looking between the road and his face. you’re still shaking and crying when you look him dead in his eyes and scream at him, “m’gonna fucking die—”
“don’t piss me the fuck of (name)!” he shakes you in his hold, only glances at the road, before speeding up impossibly faster. “you want me to fucking kill you? want me to kill the both of us?!”
“n- connie please, please hic i don’t wanna die. i—”
“—didn’t i tell you to throw the fucking shirt away.”
“yes—yes you did m’sorry! i’ll throw it—hic—i’ll throw it away!!”
he lets go of your face and turns back to the road, “do it now.”
without hesitation you claw at the material, taking it off of you—at least you try to—your hands are still shaking and you can barely even lift your arm. you hear the car screech and you scream, trying your best to take it off.
you’re so scared you feel like you’re gonna pass out. trying to lift the shirt above your head and going 100mph is definitely scarier and harder than you’d ever imagine but you get the job done.
still crying, you hold the now cursed shirt in your hand and shrink in on yourself. all you’ve got on is a bra and a mini skirt on this highway bridge. with connie trying to kill you. you scream and cry louder. on the verge of a panic attack. you feel like you’re spinning when you look up at him. too fast. he’s got an oddly satisfied look on his face, and right when his lips quirk up—yours droop down.
”connie—connie, please!”
“take my dick out.”
your eyes widen, your mouth drops open before letting out another sob. you hate how he humiliates you. “wha—what the fuck connie, i—”
he makes a show of pressing on the gas impossibly harder, swirling the car a bit as he does it. “if i gotta say it again i swear i’m gonna fucking slap you (name).”
you’re rushing to unbuckle his belt before you even know it. you think this is the hardest you’ve ever cried in your life. you’re gonna fucking die and the last thing you’ll be doing is grabbing connie springers dick.
once you’ve taken it out connie heaves a sigh. his dick is hard and oozing precum. it bobs up and down from your touch. “suck it.”
“slow the fucking car down!” you’re yelling so loud you feel like your ears are getting blown off. maybe if he sees how hard you’re crying? how upset you are? no he finds you amusing.
“i’ll tell you what.” he looks like he could burst out laughing any minute. “if i feel like you sucking my dick the best in your life, i’ll slow the fucking care down baby.”
your lips getting all wobbly again and your hands are shaking like never before. you can’t fucking do this.
“go.”
you start by giving him a long languid lick all the way from his balls to his tip—just how he likes—before you force the whole thing into your wet mouth. you feel his hips give a surprise buck immediately, before he groans real loud. you raise your head and suck his tip as hard as you can, making sure to swirl your tounge all around.
you let out a loud whine when he pushes your head all the way down. he keeps it there for as long as he likes, sort of rocking your head back and forth.
“oh—yeah, thats it.” you’re so relieved when he pulls over you think you almost scream.
he cums down your throat in thick and welcomed globs before pulling your wrecked face up and kissing you hard. he pulls your face back and stares at you, seemingly trying to read your expression.
“what’d you learn today, baby?”
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rafesbunny · 4 months
Text
just a friend- rc 🎀
where r and rafe are childhood friends, but will that all change?
it was finally friday, and you could relax and forget about the the tiresome week you just had. sarah, your best friend, said that after school you could go hang out round her pool with your mom before you two had to go out. you and your mom didn’t have the best relationship, everything she said seemed to have some snarky attitude to it and her compliments were always backhanded, but either way ever since you were little you two would go to the theatre every week to watch whatever was on. you loved the theatre it was a place to escape from your life and the opportunity to get sucked into someone’s else’s reality. it was a bit ironic that you would go to your place to escape from your mom with your mom, but it didn’t matter who you were with, as long as you were at the theatre. not too long after you had arrived your sister, scarlett and her friend , the older cameron daughter, sophie, arrived, and you took off your clothes, revealing your sweet little red bikini. you always have cherished your relationship with your sister, despite the five year age gap she was your best friend. you felt like a child again, playing mermaids, splashing each other and gossiping with a drink in your hand around the pool.
as you got out and dried yourself off, slipping back into your shorts and oversized tee, a giggly wheezie came out attacking you, scarlett and sophie with a water gun, getting you drenched again. and trailing behind her and scolding her was rose who was also bringing over a plate of juicy, colourful fruit over, “i’m so sorry girls” she apologised, but you just laughed and dismissed her with a shake of your head, how could you ever stay mad at wheez? as you continued talking to your sister and her friend, and rose caught up with your mom, she exclaimed to everyone, “you guys come for the annual celebration tonight! it will be lots of fun, plus it’s not too dressy so you could borrow something from the girls,” she said to you and scarlett, and to your mom, “and i can give you something of mine” your eyes lit up, you’ve always wanted to go to the cameron’s annual party but your mom never allowed you to go. you’ve heard about how amazing it was from whispers in the hall way and from peoples stories on snapchat and instagram: they would have heaps of food, from every cuisine you could think of; games and competitions, that were silly but everyone wanted to win; music blasting through the speaker, whether that be from a delicately made playlist throughout the years or from a live band; and an open bar that would serve everyone. “maybe, we’ve got plans” your mom said coldly, you looked at her pleadingly but she just ignored your attempts to get her to change her mind.
finally sarah, had arrived home and came into the garden. you two have always been friends ever since you were little girls learning their abc’s, even when you two grew up, you had stayed in the same friendship group. your other friends were a lot more like sarah, they were bubbly and outgoing and adventurous, and you were still bubbly but in bigger groups you were more reserved and kept to yourself, this meant that you never really went out with them outside of school, much preferring the solidarity of your room. as she got down to the pool she stripped off her clothes revealing her bathing suit, she also brought up the grand event happening later, “you guys should totally stay, it will be the best time. you’ve never come before so it will be even better as it’s your first time”. you girls slipped back into the pool and as you swam to the middle of it you whispered, “yeah just gotta convince my mom, y’know how she is” sarah understood, she’d known how yours and your moms relationship has been for years now so she gave you a sympathetic smile. you’d been doing gentle, slow laps of the pool for nearly an hour now when you decided to get out and dry off, the stage for later was being set up and caterers were making their way in and out of garden. even though you probably wouldn’t be staying, you and your sister decided to help set up. as you and sarah were doing some finishing touches, rafe walked out in those beige kook shorts he always sported and a lose white linen button up, he gave you a nod of acknowledgment and made his way over to rose to see what he needed to do before guests started to arrive. you, sarah and rafe used to be a little trio when you were younger, always going out together, if it was to the beach, the zoo or just to the park, you were always together. every weekend you would all have a sleepover and during the summer it was practically nearly everyday, and during the day, if you were busy at a family event, they would also be invited and vise vera. you were inseparable. but as you grew older you drifted away from rafe, he started to hang out with his own friends more, he wouldn’t hang out with you and sarah as much, he only would if you were at Tannyhill and he wasn’t busy. there was no bad blood or any argument that happened, you guys just simply grew up. but even with that the whole of the island knew not to mess with rafes girls- his sisters, and you.
slowly guests start arriving, it was mainly younger couples with children, as they couldn’t stay until too late they just showed up early to make the most of it. Sarah grabbed your hand and pulled you towards the stage which had five chairs with a deflated balloon on each, sarah was too your left and rafe was to your right. you looked rafe and then went to look back at Sarah but she was gone, rafe saw your puzzled expression and pointed at the stage and there sarah was with a mic in her hand. “what is going on?” you asked rafe in bewilderment. “basically every year we host the same competion. it’s only silly but everyone loves it. five people from an age range- so these ones coming on will be like ten years old, and the next will be like teenagers and so on- and out of these age groups they have to blow up a balloon and whoever pops it first wins out of that age group. then out of the end of the night all the winners from different age ranges compete against each other for the ultimate winner. it’s stupid but everyone has fun” you laughed softy at the stupidity of it all but you loved it, you wished you could stay longer, “you think i could win?” “doubt you would win against me” “is that a challenge mr cameron?” “maybe it is” you two bantered back and forth. as sarah was explaining the rules to the children, through the mic, your mom was talking obnoxiously loud from where she lounged on the sun bed next to rose. out of the corner of your eye you could see rafe turning his head quickly to look at her, clearly getting agitated. you knew he was stressed because no matter how silly this was all, he hated seeing people disrespect the effort his family had gone through to set this up, he also knew how mad ward could get at this too and didn’t want to deal with that later. you just about heard him murmur , “oh my god just shut up” as he ran his hand down his face and turned the top half of his body to glare down at your mom. with your best efforts, you pushed rafes shoulder so he was back to looking at the stage and said to him, “just tune her out and ignore her, y’know that’s what i do” with a playful smile on your face. chuckling at your lighthearted joke, he put his arm around your shoulders bringing you into the side of his chest as you watched the group of tots try to blow up a balloon. after it was done, sarah got off the stage and made her way back over to everyone else gleaming, she always managed to bring the light into any room. as you stood around talking another one of your friends showed up, grace, she embraced you in a big hug causing you to detach from rafes hold. your conversation got onto the topic of an upcoming party, it was this girl in your english class birthday soon and she was hosting a house party with nearly everyone from your year and other people from outside the island, and afterwards instead of everyone going home you’d camp on her fields she had attached to her house. you weren’t really that close with her, the only conversations you had was when you sat next to her in english, but she was a sweet girl so you were you to go and celebrate her big day with her. plus who were you to say no to a party! this obviously sparked something in sarah as she once again grabbed your hand and dragged you over to where rose was sun bathing, “rose y/n is going to that party in a few weeks!” this was her way of subtly asking rose again if she could go, you have always been the person who your friends parents trusted the most so you were used to people telling their parents you were going to something so that they could go. “well then i guess you two could go together” sarah squeezed your hand out of excitement she could now go and she carried on rambling about the event. this physical touch made you realise rafe wasn’t here now with you guys, the thought of that made your heart ache. why though? he was just a friend.
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Text
Maybe instead of getting better after Starcourt, instead of healing and mending that which has been broken, Billy just gets worse.
There’s no more playful grins behind cigarettes or keg stands held in good fun. No more speeding down empty backroads or engines revving in parking lots. He gets quiet, and that’s the scary part.
Because as soon as someone presses him to talk, he gets mean.
He outright says no when he’s asked to keep an eye on Max, because there are no repercussions anymore — his wounds from the “fire” haven’t healed just yet, and if he shows up in the hospital with new bruises over freshly cracked ribs, the doctors will suspect something.
So the most he gets is a glare from Neil and a stern do it or else.
And Billy, a believer of malicious compliance, picks himself up a walkie-talkie. Does whatever the fuck he wants while the thing sits on his dresser.
If any voices come through, he shuts it off, or at the very least tunes it to a channel that only he and Max use.
She knows better than to use it.
Things between them aren’t any less tense than before, but it’s different now. Now he knows.
So the playing field is even.
He doesn’t meddle in Max’s business, who she hangs around, and Max doesn’t burden him with asking for rides and things alike. Not that he could really do much with his car sitting in the junkyard — Harrington has taken over the task of chauffeur anyway.
Harrington, who apparently also picked himself up a walkie-talkie.
And who somehow managed to learn about Billy and Max’s private channel.
“Hargrove? You there?”
The voice is staticky over the radio, but not out of range. After the brief moment of shock passes, Billy rolls his eyes at the thought of Harrington parked down the block, sitting behind the wheel of his Beamer listening intently for a response.
Rather than reach over to his nightstand, Billy rolls over to face the wall.
His sheets have become more of a nest as of late. Gathered around him in piles because he prefers the chill on his skin to sweating beneath scratchy blankets.
He hasn’t changed the bedding in weeks. Hasn’t opened the blinds or really even left his room at all this summer — the pool has likely already filled his position. Not that he’d be going back any sooner than a year or two from now.
If he ever feels comfortable taking his shirt off again.
“Billy? Look, I know you’re there, man. Max said that this was the channel to reach you on, and—“
Billy snatches the walkie-talkie and holds the button down.
“Go fuck yourself. Over.”
There’s a beat of silence. Then static pours through. Likely the air conditioning in Harrington’s car.
“Touchy,” he tuts. Exhales a heavy sigh and blows a raspberry. “Don’t always have to be such a dick, y’know.”
“Being a dick isn’t something all of us have to try at, rich boy, so put your shit in gear and get off my block.”
There’s another brief pause.
“How’d you know I was in your neighborhood?”
“Walkies don’t work out-of-range, fuckhead.”
“Damn, okay,” Harrington huffs. “Sue me for wondering how you were doing.”
Wondering how I’m doing?
“Wondering how I’m doing?” Billy repeats.
He stares up at the ceiling, brows pinched together.
“Yeah? Y’know, like checking up on you?”
“Why?”
For months, Billy has done nothing but rot in his bed. Too sore to move, too short-fused to bother talking about it.
Too guilty to open any of the get-well-soon cards that he’s received.
Among the poorly-addressed ones with crayon scribbles from his former swimming students, he recalls one almost equally as poorly-addressed dawning the signature Steve Harrington at the bottom.
It was the only envelope he’d bothered to open. Practically had to rip it up with his teeth because of the lack of dexterity in his fingers, though, he never worked up the nerve to dial the number scrawled at the bottom.
Harrington scoffs over the channel.
“It’s like you’ve died or something, man. It’s worrying.”
Disregarding the flush spreading across his cheeks, Billy rolls his eyes and spreads out more atop his comforter.
“If you’re so worried, why didn’t you just ask Max?”
“If she answered my questions, do you think I’d be on this channel right now?”
Billy presses his lips into a line.
He knows he hasn’t been the best brother. Quite the opposite, actually.
But it still aches to learn that Max apparently refuses to so much as talk about him. Makes his limbs sink deeper into the mattress like gravity has doubled down on him.
Makes him want to shut his walkie off and never turn it back on.
“Well, you’re a few months too late on your check-up, Harrington,” Billy rasps. He squeezes his eyes shut and shakes his head at the sound of his own voice coming out so wet and pathetic. “Walking corpse at this point.”
A beat of silence persists. Then the static comes through again.
“Do you wanna talk about it?”
“I have a therapist that already doesn’t help, thank you.”
“Well, if you change your mind…” Harrington trails off. He holds the talk button down for a long beat, absently tapping his fingers against the door panel in his car. Then, he sighs. “Is it okay if I use this channel again?”
Billy’s vision blurs and he sniffles. Thankful that it can’t be heard by anyone but himself.
“Yeah,” he says, and his voice shakes with it.
And that’s how Billy’s radio goes from being dead silent to constantly filling his room with chatter.
It helps and it hinders all at once.
Billy smiles for what feels like the first time in over a year, and laughs, even. But each time Harrington tells a little joke or giggles over the channel, Billy’s heart starts to ache more deeply.
It opens up old wounds.
He feels like Neil knows, somehow, when they’re both in the kitchen together. Accompanied by nothing but silence.
Neil asks if he can babysit for the weekend, and Billy drops the mug that was in his hand with a shaky wrist, fearing an entirely different question that doesn’t even get asked.
When Neil would normally berate him, he simply watches the way that Billy flexes his fingers. The way that he makes a weak fist, unable to straighten his fingers completely once he relaxes them, and his brows pinch in mild worry.
“Still havin’ trouble?” Neil asks.
His voice is gentle enough that Billy’s eyes well with tears as he nods. Bites his lip to keep it from wobbling.
Neil pulls him into a hug and Billy sobs into his shoulder. Not because of the pain or disability, but because he thinks he’s let a hint of love creep back into his life after all this time.
Which should be a good thing.
For once, Billy agrees to watching Max, if only because he doesn’t have the energy to snark back right now. Neil pats his shoulder and gives it a squeeze. Asks if he’s sure, like it’d be no issue at all for him and Susan to cancel their weekend plans.
Billy can’t help that he huffs a laugh. Can’t help that it comes out sounding closer to a scoff.
Why be accommodating now, after a lifetime of neglect and maltreatment? He shakes his head to himself, and his expression must give his thoughts away.
Neil digs his thumb hard into his shoulder, earning a stifled whimper and another influx of tears.
Billy cleans up the broken mug and wipes the liquid away from the floor by himself, knelt on his achy knees while he’s watched like a hawk from the doorway. Like he might shove the glass under the counter if he’s left unsupervised for even a second.
Over the weekend while their folks are away, Billy takes Max out to pick up a couple of movies and get a few snacks with Susan’s car.
Since he so scarcely leaves the house, he turns a few heads when people recognize him.
None so much as Harrington, who gawks at him from behind the fucking desk at Family Video. Billy glares hard at Max when she smirks at him before disappearing to the horror section.
The brunet is a bit more rugged than Billy recalls. Has a stronger jawline and more hair. Lots more hair.
It makes Billy feel especially pathetic, draped in a t-shirt that used to fit his figure well, but now swallows him more than anything.
That heavy feeling droops his shoulders down. He shoves his hands into his pockets and looks away nonchalantly when Harrington abandons his station, leaving Buckley behind the counter floundering at the register.
“Look who’s out ‘n about,” Harrington chuckles. He has no issue reaching out and setting his hands on Billy’s biceps, moving close as if to inspect him. “Have I always been this much taller than you?”
Billy flushes red and straightens his posture. Brings himself back up to eye-level, which spurs a dull pain in his spine. He must not do well in terms of hiding it, because the brunet’s brows furrow.
“Do you wanna sit down?”
Rather than respond right away, Billy huffs and waves Harrington off of him. Shoots Max another glare when he spies her watching the exchange from behind a shelf.
“All I fuckin’ do is sit,” Billy grumbles. “If I knew I was gonna get a pity parade I would’a just sent the shitbird in.”
Harrington nods to himself. Takes half a step back and smiles.
“Alright with standing, then. Got it.” He tilts his head to the side. Eyes never leaving Billy for even a second. “Your hair’s grown out a lot.”
His gaze is a fond one. Like they aren’t in public right now. Like Billy is his damn girlfriend on prom night, and he’s seeing the gown for the first time.
Billy shrugs. Absently toys with one of the curls that dangles over his collar bone.
That weird pit is back in his stomach. The one that leaves him crying in the dark when Harrington signs off after hours of chatting about everything and nothing at once.
Billy wonders where he parks his car when they talk for that long. If he’s right outside or in the deep quiet of the woods, where the stars can really be seen and the train shakes the ground.
He’d rather Steve just climb through his window.
“I like it,” Steve adds. Nudges Billy’s elbow with his own. “It’s a soft look. Fits you really well.”
“Are you this nice to all the girls that come in here, or just the ones you wanna pork?” Billy teases.
Steve laughs, and it sounds so much better in person. Billy wants nothing more than to bottle it up and keep it forever.
Before the brunet can come back with a snide little joke of his own, Max meanders up to them. Holds up a few tapes for Billy to approve. Without really looking them over, he hands her the cash, and they all move back to the register together.
Steve rings them up. Max pays. Everything is so much slower than it should be going, like he’s trying to prolong the encounter as much as he can.
Billy understands the feeling.
When Steve slides Max the receipt, he’s less smiley. Billy turns to face the door, but doesn’t miss the way that Max nabs a pen and scrawls something on the slip of paper before sliding it back towards Steve.
Billy decides not to pry. Fears that if he asks, he’ll find that it’s some secret nerd shit that he can’t be privy to.
Fears that the heavy feeling will bear down on him again.
He doesn’t have to ask, turns out. The phone rings later that night, and Billy’s blood pressure spikes when Steve’s voice pours over the line.
“You should come out more often,” he says easily. “Really need some sun.”
Billy just tsks. They wind up sitting on the line for a little under half an hour. Billy wishes it lasted longer.
But he’d rather not explain the minutes away when his father shows him the phone bill.
Just before they hang up, after giggling at each other nearly the entire time, Billy barks out, “Don’t call here again.”
Then he hangs up.
Steve, naturally, gets on the radio not a few seconds later. Giggles and says, “Okay, dick. You can call me from now on.”
They stay up for practically the rest of the night talking.
Billy stares up at the ceiling and wonders how long this little thing between them will last.
He starts to question it more when Steve actually, by some miracle, convinces him to come out a handful of times.
The brunet is really touchy. Always has an arm around Billy’s shoulders or a hand on his back, and constantly bumps their knees together when they’re sitting down. Billy feels stupid for wanting more.
Why, he doesn’t know, because he’s fairly certain that he could ask for anything at this point.
Steve never calls again and that’s okay.
Billy prefers hearing whispers over the radio anyway.
It’s one evening in particular that Max is out of the house for the night, away at the Chief’s place for a sleepover, that the pit in Billy’s stomach turns into a black hole.
Steve has been ranting about his manager for the last half hour, only stopping to mention how a movie cover reminded him of Billy. How he couldn’t even wait to get home before he turned his radio on and pressed to talk to him.
The black hole consumes Billy before he can catch the words leaving his mouth.
“Do you like me?” he hears himself ask.
His voice gets choked up, and the second he lifts his finger off of the button, he rolls over and screams into his pillow. Quiet enough that Neil and Susan won’t hear, but hard enough to let a fraction of the tension out.
“Obviously,” Steve says. “Why else would I be friends with you?”
Billy presses his face harder into the pillow.
He can feel the pressure building behind his eyes. Feel the blistering heat of fresh tears and the throb in his temples as he huffs a strangled sigh into the pillow. Before he can even decide between turning the walkie off or fabricating a response, static pours through.
“Jesus Christ, Steve, he means do you have feelings for him,” Max groans.
There’s a beat of silence.
“What? Rea—“
“What the fuck are you doing on this channel?” Billy interrupts.
He can feel the veins in his neck straining from how hard he’s clenching his jaw. Can practically see red when giggles pour through the radio.
A red hot flush of shame paints Billy’s face when he realizes that Eleven is listening in too.
“What are you still doing on this channel? If you didn’t want us to eavesdrop, you should’ve switched forever ago.”
“How long have you been listening to us talk?” There’s a beat of silence. Billy huffs. “Max. How long?”
“How long have you and Steve been talking?” Max asks.
Her rhetorical question is accompanied by giggles that are cut off when she lifts her finger from the button.
There’s nothing but silence for a moment. Then two.
Billy’s vision blurs as he sets his walkie down on his nightstand. The cold fingers of embarrassment wrap around him and drag him down, lower than he’s ever been drug before.
He’s ruined everything.
His sister not only hates him, but she knows about him now, and the only guy he’s ever let himself truly like is going to want nothing more to do with him after this.
Not for the first time since Starcourt, he wishes that monster had killed him.
“Billy?” Steve asks gently. When there’s no response, he sighs. “Look, we can figure out the channel thing some other time, but… was she right? Is that what you were trying to ask me?”
Silence. Then, giggles.
“Oh, I’m pretty sure I’m right,” Max teases.
“Radio silence,” Steve snaps. “Now.”
His tone is stern. Brotherly in a way that should be surprising, but isn’t, really.
“Signing off…” Max says dejectedly.
Astonishingly, the channel falls silent. Billy sniffles as he reaches over to paw at his nightstand, curling his fingers weakly around the radio.
He doesn’t press the button. Tries to swallow his silent sobs in a failed attempt to compose himself first.
“Billy?” Steve coos, voice much softer now. “If you don’t wanna talk over the radio, that’s fine, but—“
“Yes,” Billy rasps.
A beat of silence.
“Yes?”
“She was right.”
Billy winces at how broken his voice sounds. A whistle pours through the radio.
“Oh, man,” Steve chuckles, and Billy’s heart sinks. “The boy of my dreams wants to know if I have feelings for him? Are you dense?”
There’s a crisp millisecond of confusion before Billy presses the button.
“What?”
“Of course I like you, dude.”
Billy inhales like he just resurfaced for air for the first time in years.
“Why?” he breathes.
“You’re funny, smart, surprisingly sweet, and pretty easy on the eyes. Just for starters.”
If his heart was thumping fast before, it’s going light-speed now. All he can do for a few beats is focus on controlling his breathing.
“You don’t like me,” he murmurs. “Trust me, Steve, I’m fucked up.”
“You aren’t the only one who’s a little fucked up.” Steve hums a laugh to himself. “And I do like you. You’re not gonna be changing my mind about it anytime soon.”
“What if I told you to go fuck yourself?”
“I’d tell you that you don’t always have to be such a dick.”
A tiny hint of a smile creeps its way onto Billy’s face when he hears Steve chuckle.
His eyes are dry. The pool of dread in his belly has begun to drain, and he feels the slightest bit hopeful.
“If you’re so sure, then I guess picking me up for dinner and a movie sometime won’t be difficult for you, will it?”
Steve sighs fondly at the notion.
“Are you asking me out?”
“Are you accepting?”
There’s a brief pause. Billy’s unable to keep from smiling giddily to himself.
“Depends,” Steve lilts. “Gonna open your window?”
There’s a light tap on the glass. Billy pushes himself up and draws the blinds, revealing a grinning brunet standing about a foot below, holding his walkie-talkie.
Billy tosses his on the bed before he opens the window and leans his elbows against the ledge.
“Is this the part where you ask me to let down my hair?” he teases.
Steve chuckles, but furrows his brows as he steps closer to the house.
“Were you crying?”
Taken aback by the question, Billy wipes his eyes with the heel of his palm. Shrugs nonchalantly, which doesn’t seem to be the answer that Steve was looking for.
“I was expecting things to go a bit differently,” Billy admits.
Steve frowns, and the expression doesn’t look right on him. He reaches up. Settles his hand on Billy’s forearm, smoothing his thumb back and forth against his skin until Billy shifts to dangle his arm out the window.
The pads of Steve’s fingers are soft where he holds Billy’s hand, clasped and suspended in the air together.
Billy really does feel like Rapunzel for a moment.
“I can be a little thick-skulled sometimes,” Steve says softly. “You’re always talking about yourself like you’re some unsalvageable disaster, so when you asked me if I liked you, my mind instantly went there. I wanted to make you sure you knew for certain that I do.”
He gives a little half smile. Billy squeezes his hand gently. Hopes that Steve doesn’t notice how weak his grip is.
“It’s not like I really gave you any context clues.”
“True. You didn’t.”
“I am a bit of a disaster, though. Feels like I’m only good at messing things up sometimes,” Billy sighs. “Max already hates me, and when I thought for a second that you might too, everything felt so lost.”
Steve makes a face.
“I would never, and I’d like to point out that Max doesn’t either.”
Billy blinks. Huffs amusedly, and as always, it comes out sounding closer to a scoff.
“Pretty sure she does. You’ve said yourself that she wouldn’t even talk when you asked about me.”
After thinking on it for a brief moment, Steve laughs.
“Yeah, man, ‘cause she bites the head off of anyone who asks about you. Definitely told me to mind my fucking business more than once.”
Again, Billy just blinks.
He never considered that maybe it was a protective thing and not a shame thing. The revelation has a surprising amount of weight lifting off of his shoulders.
“Definitely sounds like her,” he says.
They share a chuckle. Billy flattens his other forearm against the windowsill and rests his chin against it.
“Thanks for trying to lift me up earlier?” he muses. “Didn’t really work in the moment, but still.”
Steve softly swings their hands from side to side and sighs.
“I can tell. Your eyes are all puffy.”
“Should’a seen me the other night.”
The brunet cocks his head to the side in mild confusion.
“What happened the other night?” he asks. “Didn’t mention anything while we were talking.”
“It was, ah… after we signed off for the night. It’s no big deal, really. I cry after most of our talks.”
Billy looks away. Steve squeezes his hand.
“I’m sorry.”
“‘S okay,” Billy rasps.
His eyes prick with tears again and Steve steps closer. Drops his walkie-talkie in the grass and reaches up with his free hand to cup Billy’s cheek.
“Oh, you’re just a big crybaby, huh?” he coos. Billy chuckles sadly and leans into his touch. “If I’d known, I would’ve snuck over here sooner.”
“My old man checks in on me sometimes, so it’s probably better that you stay in your car.”
“Well, do you have a curfew? I’d love to steal you away every now and again and kiss your cute, stuffy nose.”
Billy sniffles, and chuckles again. Wipes his eyes with his free hand and shrugs.
“Haven’t really had anywhere to go ‘till now,” he says.
Steve nods.
“You eaten yet?”
A smile cracks across Billy’s face. Steve mirrors the expression.
“You buying?”
“I’ll spend my entire paycheck on burgers and fries if it gets you outta this fuckin’ room. I swear sometimes it’s like pulling teeth.”
They share a chuckle, and Billy sits up. Flushes red when Steve presses a kiss to his knuckles.
“Gimme a sec.”
Again, Steve nods. He’s slow to release the blond when he pulls away, and Billy can’t help that he’s grinning like an idiot as he opens the door and pads out of his room.
He finds Neil and Susan in the living room watching tv. Makes up some lie about a few friends having a kickback. Even goes as far as to apologize for the short notice.
His folks share a look. Susan spreads a big smile and sets her hand on Billy’s bicep.
“No worries, sweetheart. Go ahead,” she says. “Have fun, alright?”
“Will you be coming back tonight?” Neil asks.
Billy stays quiet for a moment. Then two, just processing, and eventually shakes his head.
“It’ll probably be too late,” he says, and clears his throat. “I have somewhere else lined up, though.”
He winces at his own words, regret beading on his skin like a cold sheen of sweat.
Neil nods. Turns his attention back to the tv.
“Just stay outta trouble.”
And that’s it.
Nothing more is said, but Billy still stands there like he’s waiting for something else to happen.
When nothing does, he nods curtly and pads back down the hallway to his room, deciding not to press his luck by letting them think too hard on it. Once he has the door shut behind him, he’s immediately leaning out the window again.
Steve has his walkie back in his hands, rocking back and forth patiently on the balls of his feet while he waits. He smiles when he notices that the blond has reappeared.
“What’d they say?”
“Go get your car, I’ll be ready by the time you pull up.”
Billy leans back. Grabs the window and shuts it just as Steve nods enthusiastically. Turns on his heel and jogs off of the lawn and back towards the street.
Giddy, warm feelings pool and buzz in Billy’s stomach as he digs through his drawers for jeans that he hasn’t worn in forever. Already has a date-worthy outfit in mind as he unfolds a pair.
He nearly jumps out of his skin when static pours through the radio still sitting idly on his bed.
“Update?” Max asks.
Billy rolls his eyes. Moves to grab it when another voice comes through.
“We’re goin’ steady,” Steve informs, out of breath.
“Yes!” Max shouts.
Then, a third voice comes through.
“Finally! Jesus,” Dustin huffs.
There’s a beat of silence, followed by Steve panting when he presses the talk button.
“How many of you dickheads are on this channel?”
“Just two?” Mike says. “Technically, since we’re only using two walkie’s.”
There’s laughter over the radio, and Billy rolls his eyes. Can’t really find it in himself to be mad right now with all of the butterflies swirling in his tummy.
“You’re all banned from the front seat of my car,” Steve huffs. “And the wedding, when it happens.”
“No! I wanted to be the flower girl!” Eleven whines.
“I was gonna walk you down the aisle,” Dustin adds.
“Good luck finding another officiant, then, I guess,” Lucas says with a scoff.
More laughter is had. Max and Mike chime in with various jokes about ring-bearers and bridesmaids, but they’re cut off when Steve presses to talk again.
“Yeah, yeah, laugh it up. I highly recommend switching channels.”
“Oh yeah? Why’s that?” Max muses.
Billy can practically hear the smirk in Steve’s voice when he speaks next.
“‘Cause I’m gonna start using this one for sex stuff, and it’s gonna get real weird real fast, so be warned.”
Multiple groans and sounds of disgust pour through the radio.
“Yuck,” Max says. “Switching channels.”
“Ditto,” Dustin adds.
Then silence. True silence.
Billy grabs his walkie.
“We really gonna have phone sex over the radio?” he muses.
Steve laughs. The subtle rumble of the engine is audible from the street as his car pulls up to the curb.
“Not if you hurry up and get your ass out here already.”
The blond bites his lip. Can’t believe for the life of him how light he feels. How, for once, he feels better for having survived car wrecks and slimy monsters in the dark.
Feels like letting someone new into his life won’t cause him grief this time around.
“On my way, pretty boy.”
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soft-persephone · 18 days
Text
A Fresh Start 2
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Mother’s Milk x Fem!Reader
T // WC: 1.7k // pool day fun and one iffy convo // pt. 1
“TT, it’s going to be fun,” Momo did her best to comfort you, taking your hand she walked to in the to the entrance of the public pool.”
“What if no one likes me?” You grumbled. “I’m not as parenty as the other adults.”
The loss of your brother showed up in more ways then one in your life. The way the grief can creak into the everyday folds of your knew life with Momo was challenging, and on top of it all, you had to learn how to be a good parent on the fly.
The transition from fun aunt to mother figure had been challenging. Especially, when discipline had to come out to play. Momo wasn’t a bad kid, but she had been through a lot and her emotions ran all over the place, depending on the day.
So far, this summer has been such a relief for you both. As she relocated after her suspension, it was honestly a blessing in disguise. There was a community around the school district your brother was zoned for that you never knew was there. Momo made some new friends that she seems to love more and they loved her equally as much.
But youngest like a poser, that you’re pretending. You were constantly comparing yourself to other parents. What worse lace could exist for you to continue this new horrible tradition than a day at the pool.
The wholes are side of your swimsuit and how scrappy it was despite being a one piece felt too much, not at all something a mom would wear. You tugged the sleeves of the knitted wholey cover up you were wearing over your hands. It was made to give a dramatic end sleeve effect. Like very chic sweater paws.
“If you stay on your best behavior, you’ll have nothing to worry about.” Momo beamed up at you.
Despite being very cute, you took her bag off her shoulder with narrowed eyes.
“Go play.” You said in a deadpan tone.
“But what did i—“
“Now! Go play with your friends. Don’t make me tell you again.”
She huffed before giggling as Janine was already running towards her. Her soaking wet curls shining in the sun.
You whined as they started squealing at one another before skipping off.
“Hey!” A voice stopped them from your side, “don’t run around here or you’ll fall and bust your head open!”
You smiled your best polite smile.
“Someone’s looking rather fancy for a public outing at the pool.” Sheila looked at you over her shades.”
“What can I say,” you smiled, “I dress to impress.”
Being in with a group of parents really had its perks. They saved you a set and it was nice and cozy. Not too much sun and not too much shade.
“Hey hey,” look who it is.” Sheila introduced and everyone called out to you from their chairs.
“Someone’s looking all special!”
All the moms oohhhed and ahhed in appreciation.
You swallowed ignoring how hot your face felt.
“Hi.” You waved with a smile as you took your seat.
“Hey, I’m Monique.” She took of her shades, “Janine’s Mom.”
“Oh my god Hi,” you instantly perked up. “I’ve heard your name a lot over the last week.”
Janine and Momo exchanged numbers which were actually your number and Monique’s number, so you’ve only heard her voice several, several times, as she said, hold on let me get Janine.
“It’s nice to put a voice to a face.”
“Likewise.” You nodded with a smile and pulled your book out of your bag, just in case.
“What is it that you do again?”
It was nice to be able to talk about something like work and not.. your brother or how hard the transition is with Monice coming to live with you.
“Lawyer, started out with the criminal justice stuff and somehow ended up in the corporate conglomerate stuff, representing companies as they do who fuck knows with whatever they and such.”
“You know more than me, so I will not ask too many questions.” You both laughed.
“Heeheehee,” a strong voice mocked you from above, blocking the sun.
“You held a hand over your eyes and waved with the other. “Hey.”
“Don’t hey me and get your butt out here in this pool.”
“Why.” You scoffed and clipped the shades from your shirt, putting them on.
“We take turns chaperoning the kids.” He crossed his arms.
“Marvin please, give her a break. She just got here. It’s probably Sheila’s turn.”
He stormed off with a groan and waved Janine off.
“Sheila’s not getting in the pool is she?”
Monique tapped her nose with a smile and you laughed.
45 minuets or maybe one glorious hour into your book. A little voice broke your focus.
“TT can I have $20.”
“Why do you need $20.” You turned the page of your book not looking up.
“Because of the concession stand.” She huffed, giving her eight year old logic.
“But I packed you something.” You fake pouted back, grabbing the cooler bag.
“I mean, I brought these grapes,” you pulled them out and put them back in the bag, rummaging some more, “I cut up some strawberries and other fruit, making sure there were no stems or nasty bits because you hate that,” you put them back in the bag, “and then, I woke up extra early and made those ham and cheese balls you love so much.” You sighed dramatically.
“I packed all your favorites, but if you want to eat soggy fries drenched in a weird cheese sauce, I guess I can give you the money.” You put your hand in your purse.
“No-I’ll-take-these-thanks!” She eagerly snatched the goodies out of the bag, running off to be eat with her friends.
Victory.
You went back to your book.
“Nice one.” Monique said to you over her kindle.
You both read in silence.
Monique was pretty swell. She was the easiest to be around compared to the other mom’s.
“Thank you for the other day,” you were about to ask her for what but she explained further, “for keeping Marvin out of trouble at the cookout.”
“What.” You laughed. “I didn’t do anything. We just talked for a bit.”
She smiled at you.
“Marvin doesn’t just talk for a bit.” She went back to her book.
You were about to say something. To get some more answers, confront her, ask her to give it to you straight or interpret what she was implying, but Marvin plopped down between you both.
“Water.” He huffed.
Crushing the water bottle loudly in his hands, he pulled at the fabric of your cover up with his other hand.
“You need to take this off and get in the pool. It’s your turn.”
“Why do I have to go?” You smacked his hand away.
“If I have to drag you into the water I will.” He pointedly looked at you, “I already had to drag Sheila out there and I’m willing to drag you in too.”
You rolled your eyes.
“Fine.”
The water wasn’t too bad, the screaming kids not so much. But it was nice to see Marvin be around the kids.
“My turn!” A boy that was more hair than boy squealed as Marvin dunked him under the water and refused to let him go as he thrashed around for a minuet. He came above the surface of the water with a gapped grin, one of his front teeth missing.
He swam away back to his friends in glee.
“What a fun game.” You tried to be sarcastic but your grin was too wide and you were already laughing.
“You never went to the pool as a kid?” He splashed water on you.
You slammed the surface of the water back with both hands, getting way more water on him.
“Of course I did!”
“Well, I apologize if you don’t seem like the type, Ms Bougie.”
“I like to take care of myself, and I was raised by a woman who liked to take care of herself and her family. She had standards and she raised me with standards.” You defended. “Why is that a crime?”
He looked down at you with a smile, less mirthful than before.
“It’s not.”
Despite the chill from the water and the slight breeze every few minuets a warmth started to spread throughout you.
“When,” he started and quickly stopped, looking away from you for a second before putting a hand into a fist and pushing into the palm of the other. “You don’t have someone at home who takes care of you?”
“If that’s your way of masking if I have a boyfriend,” you started carefully, “then no.”
He looked at you as if he didn’t believe you. You would have laughed if it wasn’t sort of sweet.
“I did.”
His eyebrows rose, but he showed no other sign of suprise. Nodding in some sort of appreciation is what you guess what the nod meant.
“He doesn’t help you take care of Momo?”
“He left because of Momo.”
You started floating in the water, giving half of your attention to mindlessly floating in the water with a sigh.
He followed suit, crouching down in the pool, letting his legs flow at a bent angle so he could be at the same eye level as you.
“If he’s willing to leave you like that, with all your going through,” he locked eyes with you, then he doesn’t deserve you.”
You nodded giving him a silent thank you.
He made a step towards you.
“I just—“
“Daddy!” Janine jumped in her dads arms. Her face pulled taunt with a frown and her bottom lip sticking out.
“TT” Momo solemnly swam to you.
She rubbed her eyes as you pulled her into your arms.
“You tired?” You looked over to see Marvin murmur comforting words in Janine’s ear.
You gave him an apologetic smile.
He gave one back and made his way to the steps of the pool to take Janine home.
You kissed Momo on the head.
“Time to go home kiddo,” you moved her hair to the side to see her face. She was already fast asleep in your arms, giving her a light kiss on the head, you made your way out the pool.
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