#oh and im flexible on some of these

[league-of-blorbos]

My Theories for what each Darkin was as an Ascended

(to preserve my sanity, i'm only gonna talk about the main 5 darkin, which are all the darkin champions and xolaani, and i'll put them in order starting with the one with the most supporting evidence and the going down to the ones that i purely made up)

Xolaani: Bird

We already know this one, we can see her statue in The Call cinematic and you can see feathers on her chest and a bird-like head shape. We can't tell what exact kind of bird she was, but she was definitely avian.

Aatrox: Angel

First off, it's never said that Ascended have to be based on animals. Every fan interpretation I see of Valeeva, a Darkin described in Twilight of the Gods, looks like a humanoid with venomous spines, so Ascended beings could theoretically also be humanoids with extra apendages (like Valeeva's spines or Aatrox's wings) but are just more commonly animals.

Second, we know Aatrox is trying to morph his vessel into looking as close to his former appearance as possible and it's implied he envies Kayle since she resembles himself as an Ascended. Kayle is an angelic human with wings, plus I feel Aatrox would try to reform himself with animal traits if he had them, but instead he looks, again, like a human with wings. Also there's the metaphors with Darkin being fallen gods, and the Darkin (mostly Aatrox and Rhaast) looking like demons, and that fits the trope of the fallen angel, you get the point, Aatrox is basically meant to be Satan so it works for him to be a corrupted angel.

Rhaast: Goat

This is one I've seen a few other people headcanon, and it comes from one of Kayn's taunts as the Shadow Assassin where he calls the enemy a "two-legged goat" which is so oddly specific and I can't find anything it could be referencing, so the theory is he's taunting his opponent by comparing them to Rhaast, who as SA, Kayn has already defeated. I would also like to mention that Kayn's baggy pants paired with Rhaast's hooved feet and horns give him a satyr-like silhouette.

On the more symbolic side, goats are often associated with the devil (again, Darkin are based off demons) and to death and the occult in a similar way a scythe is despite both being common things found on a farm; they both seem innocent until put in the right contexts, which is perfectly ironic for a violent being like Rhaast.

Varus: Lizard

In his short comic, we see a vague fanged head that wasn't shown when just Kai and Valmar walked these same stairs, so some theorized that this is what Varus looked like before being trapped. To me, the head looks most like it's reptilian. He could also be a snake or even a dragon, but in Runeterra we already have a snake Ascended with Naganeka and a humanoid dragon with Shyvana so I went with a lizard since it felt the most unique.

Naafiri: Feline

I remember seeing some people guess she used to be a cat when one of her teasers said that her becoming a hound was "ironic", and felines are seen as the opposite of canines. That's pretty much where the evidence ends, I'm just going based off vibes that maybe she was a big cat like a panther or a tiger.

[gaytoddhoward]

they should invent a period that doesnt make me the most miserable person on earth

[toastsnaffler]

love being at the climbing gym like yeah im not that flexible and then constantly doing moves matching my hands n feet on the same holds even when completely unnecessary

[digitaldiseas3]

extremely frustrating situation

[egirlgarak]

little old ladies asking for clarification on how to pronounce my name because they "want to get it right!!"🥰🥰🥰🥰

[voidimp]

probably couldve been diagnosed w hEDS a lot younger than twenty-fucking-eight if the foot doctor i went to in like middle/high school or my regular doctor had considered the possibility that the weak ligaments in my feet/ankles might be due to a connective tissue disorder that affects my whole fucking body instead of just being a localized thing

[existencebringsonlypain]

I HC that ur really good at chopsticks

i definitely would be but whenever we go to panda express for orange chicken we just pick it up and use our utensils at home. So no, bad at chopsticks, but I can twirl a pencil around my fingers, if that counts

[igbylicious]

My god Im so curious about Yunho from your Woosan fic 😫 anything for a solo scene with him to see what hes like esp cuz damn

oh god strictly speaking i don’t take requests but OOF anon it’s whiway and you caught my brain right in the middle of a perfect Yunho-shaped storm asdjhadshj. so here you go, i whipped this up real quick >:3c

WHICHEVER WAY: A YUNHO BONUS

(set before the main series but doesn’t need context. features a different reader character)

pairing: yunho x gn reader

genre: pure smut, strangers who fuck

wc: 2.5k

warnings: bdsm sex party but like a lowkey chill semi-privately hosted one, dom Yunho, sub reader, big dick Yunho obv, explicit consent, blow job, exhibitionism (you suck Yunho off in the middle of a room full of strangers), a lil rough face-fucking & light choking, hand kink, hand on throat, Yunho wears a leather glove, dirty talk, cum swallowing, light hairpulling (@ reader), copious amounts of drool, degradation that sometimes leans into praise, nicknames for reader (‘cocksleeve’, ‘cockslut, sweetheart), corruption kink if you squint, Yunho pov, mention/cameo of the skz aussie line, also a San cameo and he’s shy :3, implied threesome w/ San at the end

a/n: gender neutral reader, wearing clothes described to have ‘generous amounts of see-through fabric’ but no specific details. reader is called ‘little’ but in a sweetly demeaning way; not a reflection on physical size, and also called ‘pretty’. there is a mention that Yunho has larger hands

Yunho always enjoys the parties hosted by Chris. He has a ridiculously large home with plenty of room to accommodate his guests, zero tolerance for unwanted shenanigans — and great snacks at the buffet table.

People tend to underestimate the importance of a good snack during a sex party. Not Yunho.

He scopes out the room while munching on some kkokkalcorn, not in any particular rush to get his hands dirty or his dick wet. It’s still early; the door has not even been closed yet, but already there is a decent amount of people. Yunho knows some of them, at least by face, but there are some unfamiliar ones too.

Yunho hones in on the unfamiliar faces. He enjoys meeting new people, like that adorably inexperienced dom he met at his last party; nerve-wrecked yet filled with potential — but San is not here. Too bad. Yunho wouldn’t mind taking him under his wing again.

But San quickly fades from Yunho’s mind when a stranger catches his eyes. When you catch his eyes.

He stops reaching for more snacks, absent-mindedly using a tissue to wipe his hands clean while he watches you instead. You took the flexible dresscode and ran with it, wearing a sexy getup with generous amounts of see-through fabric. Covered yet exposed. Intended to provoke… but not exuding any particular authority. You want to be noticed, noticed by someone who will act on what they see.

It’s enough for Yunho to mentally categorise you a sub, or at least a switch. He can never be completely sure from just a look, of course — but Yunho has a solid track record of educated guesses, and you’ve put too much effort into your look to be unintentional about what message you telegraph to others. Well, you succeeded in your efforts; Yunho has noticed you, and he is definitely contemplating to act on it.

Your getup almost makes him feel a little under-dressed in comparison. Nice slacks and a flattering pinstripe waistcoat, a white dress shirt with the sleeves rolled up to expose his strong forearms. The look is finished by a nice, bulky watch on his wrist and silver rings adorning his long fingers on one hand, a leather black glove on the other.

(Okay, maybe he’s not that under-dressed. He also wanted to telegraph a message.)

You must feel his eyes on you, glancing Yunho’s way and unmistakably pleased by his attention. You bite your lip, almost like you’re shy, but then you subtly arch your back a little, pushing your pretty plump ass back. You grin when Yunho’s eyes follow the movement, then you saunter over to the buffet table with confident steps.

Yunho watches with a slow, amused smile how you ignore him completely, pouring yourself a glass of water instead. Already you’re playing. He doesn’t mind that, not at all. He can give a little chase if you want to be pursued.

“Haven’t seen you around this scene before. First timer?” he asks. His voice is casual, his burning gaze anything but.

You look at him over the brim of your glass, hiding a coy smile. Your eyes flicker over to Yunho’s hands, lingering on his leather glove. “Second, actually,” you answer, though Yunho infers from your tone that while you might be new to parties, you are not inexperienced with this type of play in general.

“Shame,” he says with a shrug. “Wouldn’t have minded showing you around. Give you the grand tour.”

You set down your glass, tilting your head with a playful glint in your eyes. “…You can still show me around, if you like. Wouldn’t mind being seen with you.”

The way you tilted your head shows off the column of your neck in a way that has Yunho’s hands itching. He considers your grin for a long moment, flexing his fingers. You don’t waver.

“Yeah. I can do that,” Yunho says, something darker creeping into his voice. “So what are you looking for? Any hard limits?”

“Nothing outside what Chris doesn’t allow in his house,” you say, not in the least thrown by the directness of Yunho’s question. You talk through some of your expectations and preferences, and Yunho listens with vested interest as the vast extent of your compatibility rapidly becomes clear.

His pants are already getting a little tight. You notice.

“Then… want to play with me?” you grin, biting your lip at him.

“Thought you’d never ask.” Yunho extends his ungloved hand to you, and he chuckles at how you almost seem disappointed. “Hey. All good things to those that wait,” he teases, beckoning his long fingers, showing off his rings.

“I’m not good at waiting,” you sulk, but take his hand anyway. For all your pouting, Yunho can feel the shudder that runs through you as his warm palm envelops yours, his rings pressing into your skin.

He leads you away from the buffet table (‘shenanigans near the snacks’ is among the things Chris does not allow), across the house’s open floorplan to a semi-secluded lounge area. You won’t be alone there.

Some of your future bystanders look up at the new arrival, though a few are too wrapped up in each other to pay you and Yunho any mind. Soft moans and faint wet squelches make up the background music, punctuated by the occasional muffled cry from a private room nearby.

Everyone else is seated, but Yunho takes you to stand right in the middle of the lounge area.

“Now, let us see what you can do,” he drawls, raising an unimpressed eyebrow. It’s time to play for real now. “On your knees, sweetheart.”

As you do just so, Yunho glances about the room again. Everyone not otherwise occupied is watching you intently. Hungry interest; some of pure appreciation, others laced with envy.

Just as you unbutton Yunho’s slacks and pull them down, inhaling tightly when you fully comprehend what you are dealing with, Yunho catches the eye of a delicate young man with long blond hair. A pair of lips is lavishing his chest with attention and yet he can’t look away, can’t seem to decide if he wants to fuck you or want to be you, face-to-face with Yunho’s impressive size.

Yunho grins at the pretty freckled blush on the young man’s face — and then ignores him completely, putting his hand on your head to give you a light push down to his half-hard cock. He sighs in bliss when you press a soft kiss against the tip. A sweetheart you are indeed.

You start off slow, not taking him very deep yet; first a few hungry strokes with the flat of your tongue over the underside of his slowly hardening dick. It creates an easier slide for your hand, but your mouth is focused on sucking his cockhead, teasing at his slit. Yunho takes deep breaths, not wanting to show just how affected he is already.

He idly wonders if this is your usual style, working up to more, or if you’re a little intimidated by his sheer girth and length. He wouldn’t mind that — it’s kinda cute, honestly. And it does lead to wonder just how filthy you’ll get once the timidity wears off…

Yunho likes the thought of that. Wants to coax it out of you.

“Cute,” he taunts with a raspy chuckle, sinking his ungloved hand into your hair. “The little cockslut is nervous about taking my dick down that tight throat. Never had one that big before, have you?”

You moan around him, glancing up with a pitiful shimmer in your eyes. You take him just a little deeper, whine in frustration at the physical limitation of your mouth, and pitifully shake your head at him.

His cock twitches, and not just from the vibrations of your whines. Usually Yunho believes he doesn’t have an ego about his size, just appreciates its utility — but then someone like you comes along and proves him all wrong.

A light movement catches Yunho’s eye, and he chuckles again. “Look at you, can’t even keep your hands to yourself,” he scoffs as you try to relieve some of the pressure between your legs. “No. No, that won’t do. Cocksleeves don’t get to touch themselves until they’ve served their purpose.”

You make a noise, slightly more distressed this time as you stare up at him.

“I’m not good at waiting,” you had said. It sounded bratty to Yunho’s ears at the time, still does now, but there is not a hint of defiance in your needy eyes, only desperation.

“But… I happen to be in a friendly mood. How about we make a deal,” Yunho offers in compensation. (Fuck, is he soft on you already?) “You keep your hands where they belong” — he pats on his thighs — “and I will use mine to reward you after.”

Just to make his point, Yunho goes to lightly wrap his gloved hand around your neck, leather pressing against bare skin, while his other hand tugs at your hair a little harder. He saw you check them out earlier. Yunho knows perfectly well how most people feel about his hands, and you are no different.

You swallow thickly around his cockhead, anticipation shuddering through you. Obediently, you press your palms against Yunho’s thighs, fingers brushing against his hipbones. Good. Yunho likes his hands too, likes using them. Especially to wrap around a pretty neck like yours.

“Then come on, sweetheart,” he says, tugging at your hair again. “Show me how far you can take my cock without gagging on it.”

Again, you let out a little moan around him, in protest this time.

Yunho’s eyebrows shoot up to his hairline. “Oh? My little cockslut is ready to choke on my dick now?” (You sure changed your tune on that one quick. Yunho is definitely not complaining though. Maybe you really aren’t a brat.)

You make an affirmative noise that grows whiny when his gloved fingers tighten ever so slightly. Shit. He’s gonna have so much fun with you.

“Then relax for me, sweetheart. Let’s see how deep I can fit in that tight throat.”

The answer is, right around three-quarters deep. It’s a brave effort, honestly; some don’t even get that far. And Yunho hardly cares about the neglected part of his cock, not when you are so warm and welcoming and wet around the rest of him, drool leaking down your chin. Your eyes are even tearier than before, swollen lips stretched obscenely around his fat cock.

You gurgle weakly, your eyes fluttering shut as you let him guide you up and down his length. He can’t imagine that your jaw isn’t aching, but you make no noise of complaint, content to let him take control now it’s clear where your limit lies. Yunho is fine with that, except…

“Look at me,” he says, just sharp enough to snap you out of your cockdrunk haze. “Let me see those pretty eyes while I’m fucking your mouth. A good cocksleeve can do that for me, can’t you?”

You blink up at him, your gaze wet and shimmering. There is almost an innocence to it, like it’s your first time sucking dick and you are in the middle of a holy revelation right here on your knees for him. Never wanting to let him out of your mouth again.

Although… Judging by the way you’re starting to squirm, rubbing your thighs together, Yunho suspects that last part might just be wishful thinking. He hisses when your nails dig into his hips, like you’re trying to stop yourself from reaching down. Yunho smacks at your hands in warning.

“Hey, hey, don’t go and ruin things for yourself now,” he sweetly coos, though his grin mocks as he firmly rubs his thumb over the length of your neck. “You were doing so well, is this your limit? Is this as much as a fragile cockslut like you can take?”

Immediately you whine in protest, trying to shake your head but pinned by Yunho’s hold on your hair, stuffed too deeply by his dick.

“That’s it,” Yunho hums in approval. “I’m gonna move a little faster now, alright? Be good and swallow my load, then I’ll give you everything you need.”

You moan eagerly, letting him fuck into you with shallow but rough thrusts. Muffled whimpers and wet gurgles escape past his cock, your chin soaked with saliva that spills down onto his glove. It doesn’t take him much longer, not with how good your hot mouth feels enveloping him, and the eyes surrounding you and him still watching how Yunho takes exactly what he wants from you.

He grunts sharply when he hits the back of your throat and you spasm around him with a loud, choked moan — and it takes all his self-control not to buck harder into your willing mouth. He could break you, he knows that. You would gladly let him, he knows that too. Not yet. Not this early in the night.

Instead Yunho pulls back until just his cockhead rests heavy and leaking on your tongue. He strokes his spit-glistening length, just a few quick passes and he groans lowly as hot euphoria bursts through his veins, magnified by the sight of your throat bobbing as he spills inside, swallowing him down.

Yunho pants with harsh breaths as he carefully releases your hair, still semi-hard when your glossy lips are finally released. They stay open in a wide ‘o’ as you stare up at him in a daze, like he fucked the shape of himself into them.

Your knees are stiff and unsteady as Yunho helps you back on your feet. It endears him, appealing to his softer side again. The sloppy mess on your face and neck, however, appeals to a different side. He sort-of wipes you clean, two tender hands cupping your cheeks, but he doesn’t try too hard. He likes the wrecked look too much on you. Wants to see how much further he can take you.

But as Yunho glances up to give his audience one last look, his eyes light up when he finds a familiar face. A face that has clearly been watching them intently for at least a while, cheeks dusted with an adorable blush, a distinct tenting in the pants underneath.

San.

Almost as shy and uncertain as the last time, though he no longer looks like he might bolt at any second — and he looks exactly as eager to please. Yunho is still not wholly convinced that San isn’t a switch, despite what he may say himself; but then again, Yunho’s guesswork has never been an exact art. Doesn’t matter right now anyway. A sweet thing like you might be just what San needs to melt that uncertainty away… and Yunho finds himself in a sharing mood.

“You alright, sweetheart?” Yunho murmurs to you, gently brushing his thumb over your bottom lip.

“Yeah,” you say, slightly hoarse but with a tired, radiant smile. “I’m really good.”

“Then… how does my pretty slut feel about having two cocks tonight?”

Your eyes widen in surprise, but you quickly find the target of Yunho’s suggestion, whose flush deepens when he realises he’s been noticed. Your breath catches at the sight of San, and Yunho smiles slowly as he draws you towards him. The night has just gotten started, and already it’s far beyond even his sweetest expectations.

[tiredfox64]

I HAVE BEEN HIT WITH A VISION FROM THE ELDER GODS!

You can see from miles away that Bi Han is touch starved as hellll, im talking STARVING.... so I honestly see that man just feeling turned on from simple kisses. Like, 1 min of kisses, BAM, ready to go! I feel like that intimacy may get him going, since thats a rare thing in his life

This isn't a request for a fic ( unless you want it to be 👀 ) but I am obsessed with Bi Han and I just realised this while drinking my coffee this morning

Just Some Kisses

Prior notes: I fuck with your vision! So I did something short cause how could I not work with that even though this was not originally a request.

Pairing: Bi-Han x Gn reader

Warnings ‼️: Suggestive hehe

You were feeling extra lovey today. Just the sight of your boyfriend made you all giggly and your heart warm up like a cast iron on a hot Arizona day in July. Okay, maybe not that hot but you get the picture. Fresh baked cookies kind of warm. Yeah, that’s better.

You were practically skipping over to Bi-Han’s office where you strolled in all innocently. He didn’t look up but he knew it was you walking in. Usually you would sit next to him or anywhere else in his office when you came to spend time with him. Nope. Today was different. Your seat would be Bi-Han himself.

You came closer to Bi-Han and started straddling his lap. You caught him by surprise. This was the first time you ever did this. He’s not complaining surprisingly.

He was about to question you until he felt your lips on his face. All over his face actually. You were leaving kisses wherever you could as you held his face in a loving manner. His cheeks, forehead, nose, chin, even neck. You didn’t see it but Bi-Han was starting to blush. Awww he likes it.

He didn’t know what to do with his hand. No one has ever done this to him or given him this much attention. His hands were gripping the arms of his chair while you were kissing his neck. You heard him make a low growling noise that you took as a sign of delight. You were right but he was also struggling to contain himself.

When you started making out with him that was the hardest part for Bi-Han. Feeling your soft lips against his was pleasurable torture especially once you slipped your tongue into his mouth. Your hands were feeling him up. One hand was sliding down his chest while the other went to his hair, letting his hair down from its once tight bun. Damn! This felt too fantastic for him. Your fingers running through his hair was the final nail in the coffin. You felt his hands grab onto you and squeezed you gently. He let out a groan before tearing his face away from you.

“What’s wrong? Did I do something?” You asked innocently.

Oh you sure did do something.

Bi-Han pushed you down on his lap more and you finally felt his hard on. How the heck did you miss his bulge?! You saw how embarrassed Bi-Han was. He was all hot and bothered, not very used to being kissed, touched, and loved this much. You didn’t even mean to get him started like this. The man was really struggling to hold himself back. He froze the arms of the chair trying to contain himself. But now that you know…ah fuck it!

With one arm he picked you up while the other arm swept his desk clean of anything. Every paper and writing utensil fell to the ground. He placed you on his desk, pressing himself against you. Now you’re the priority. The work can wait, he can’t. He’s all horned up and ready to go! Don’t make him wait any longer after you teased him like that.

You didn’t even mean it but okay, go off I guess.

Well, hope you have fun—oh my gosh

Oh damn is he gonna pay to fix your clothes?

Wow, i didn’t know you were that flexible!

I’ve never seen that position before WHEN DID HE LEARN THAT?!

You two are making a lot of noise…oh…he wants that…cool.

The desk is squeaking HAVE SOME MERCY!

Woah! Alright! That’s a lot that came out!

You uh…you need a tissue? Or some Bounty paper towels? A towel actually?

He definitely was touched starved, ohhh mighty.

After notes: You spat this vision out at me. I’m more of a tea vision kind of person but coffee visions work too.

[mitsvriii]

"Nothing's New"

In which your partner is never going to pay attention to you, because they’re too focused on their dead lover

Bell’s notes: “writer bell goes too far with this fic-” im /j no ones gonna say that, angst powers pls work tho, like im asdlkfjawel;fjsd;jf;lska, i cant write dude, let me like, plan this out in my head before writing nonsense, LIKE BRO, feral over angst LORD, 100k likes and you get part 2 /jjjj, growling i love angst, MWHAHAHA, sorry ely, yuka, mhie, snob, and zee if you read this 😔😔😔, i listened to “IT Girl” while writing this 😋, got carried away with Ayato’s part oopsies, i believe Guizhong for the ladies but whatever 😔😔😔, cut out Wanderer & Childe in the end because i’m TIRED, not proofread

Story details: Ayato lowkey a bitch, scratch that highkey, reader has self-doubt, Neuvilette doesn’t mean to be mean he just ISSS, GUIZHONG DID NOTHING STOP MAKING HER THE ONE IN BLAME IN THESE ZHONGLI SCENARIOS, oh and I couldn’t be bothered with Xiao’s part like a quarter through he’s such a flexible yet straight character, it’s the way you can tell when I got lazy with each part, chance Xiao & Zhongli are gonna be ooc as i’ve never written anything but short headcanons for them before

Characters & Triggers: Ayato, Neuvilette, Xiao, & Zhongli;  reader has self-doubt, mention of death, mention of martial neglect

Reader details: female reader in Ayato’s part is explicit. female reader in Neuvilette’s part can be interpreted with the way you read it. the other parts, however, shouldn’t have a specified reader type. reader’s personality, race/ethnicity, height, physical descriptions, or anything of the sort is not mentioned. if anything is let me know and i’ll edit it. 

Ayato: No surprise the Yashiro Commissioner doesn’t pay attention to his new wife, the one that he didn’t marry first. You knew that he didn’t love you, and most likely never would because you were, in fact, the second pick. Actually, it was probably in the hundreds based on the amount of marriage arrangement offers Ayato had gotten considering he was one of the biggest figures in Inazuma. It didn’t matter, but he most likely picked you because your clan was a small one to put it lightly, so he most likely chose it, and you, because it wouldn’t be a hassle with the press. But of course, he would choose the person and clan that seemed, “easy”. It hurt seeing some of the people’s sympathetic stares, such as Ayaka’s, Thoma’s, and a few of the older women working in the estate. You got used to the lack of greeting from Ayato when he got off work, the lack of warmth beside you at night. You found it hilarious, although you were hysteric at the time as you had just found out that Ayato was off that day and neglected to see you, that he never, ever laid down in the same bed as you. It doesn’t matter no matter how hard you work around the estate, how long you sit up doing his work, which you soon quit once he yelled at you like a homeless dog, or even the distinct flower you made out of one of Ayato’s favorite sweets that he ignored. Not even a glance at your general direction, either. After a while, you decided to do some digging on his past wife, only to find out that she was in fact near perfect. Perfect reputation, perfect everything, to put it shortly. Shortly after asking Ayaka what happened to her, by pulling the sad, guilty wife card, you found out she was a victim of an assassination attempt that turned into a success. Of course, Ayato and his perfect wife would only be torn apart by death. It was poetic, and it made you sick. So what were you to do but endure the slow torture that you and Ayato’s marriage was? After all, nothing you could do could change how he felt about you. 

Neuvillette: The famous hydro dragon, at least to those who knew his ‘secret’. His past lover, unfortunately, died before him, no doubt to his immortality. Of course, you would soon die, maybe in a few decades but, hey, it wasn’t like he would miss you. You could only wait awake at night as Neuvillette went to fix himself his own meal, despite you staying up to cook him one and await for his return from work. It’s not that was the only time he never paid attention to you, after all the man had most likely been grieving his wife for centuries at this point in time. So what were you to do besides stay and watch this man be emotionally constipated around you? Why did he even marry you in the first place, then? It couldn’t be because his past wife resembled you, and it certainly wasn’t because you both acted the same. Was it because he needed someone to cling to? I mean, you weren’t exactly someone who seemed to not fit the criteria of a compassionate co-worker who would comfort Neuvillette in his times of distress. Did Neuvilette only come to you because you were his way of grieving? It would make partial sense, to cling to the nearest piece of comfort to help with the pain of loss. It made you feel like nothing but an object meant for his emotional wants, but in reality, that’s all you ever are and will ever be to him. 

Xiao: The famous adeptus long ago, had someone close to him. Shame they fell to waste during the archon wars, along with the other adepti. It was no surprise that everyone familiar with Liyue stories knew about the two of them together, which unfortunately included you. It didn’t pain you that much until your oh-so-loveable boyfriend got distracted by two kids playing with a Xiao lantern and one of her. After that, it only devolved into more. The lack of visits to your room in the inn, the lack of responses whenever you left your little notes for him near your meet-up place, and the extreme lack of thank-you-notes whenever you left Xiao almond tofu. It didn’t matter that you started to skip and completely ignore doing all of these things just to see if he would notice because the adeptus failed to appear in your room just to check in to see if you were okay. This behavior was unlike him, at least in the sense of him completely ignoring you. The only answer you could think of, that logically made sense, of course, was that he was reminded of his past loved one because of the run-in with the lanterns you two had while out in Liyue. So in terms, he seemed to disconnect with you because of the memories of his past significant other? You knew the adepti didn’t die peacefully, you could tell that much from the stories, so it wouldn’t be surprising if that also applied to Xiao’s past lover. There was nothing you could do about it though, because if you knew Xiao, he wouldn’t talk about her to you nor push her aside for you.

Zhongli: Guizhong. Of course, you were familiar with the name, everyone in Liyue was. Everyone might be a stretch considering the visitors and children, but the point’s been made. Morax and Guizhong were close. Close in a sense of possibly having relationship affairs but that was only explicit to you because of the way your lover would glace at glaze lilies. You couldn’t call him your lover, could you? Not with the way he would hum to the glaze lilies, the way his eyes would also drift away from you whenever you talked as you took strolls through Guilu Plains, and the way he would opt to tell stories of specific tales of his time as Morax, ones that included Guizhong in some way. It got to the point where you had to make up tasks that you had to do daily just to get away from the walks you two took, not to hear the different-yet-similar stories of Morax and totally not Guizhong. It was childish of you to be doing so, you had yourself convinced, as you couldn’t blame Guizhong for any of it. She had no part of this besides well, besides being your number one stressor for the past few weeks. It was tiring yet somehow for the sake of not wanting a glare or side-eye from Zhongli about his stories, which you never thought you’d get that tired of hearing, you kept your mouth shut, despite how hard it was. You knew it would only take so much more, though, before you said something about it. 

[marikosenwrites]

📓✧˖°.bungo stray dogs smut scenarios and hcs

sen: my first smut fic lmao idk what and how i do but i'm gonna TRY MY BEST feed back is VERY MUCH appreciated i originally planned to do purely fic no hcs but i decided against that ^v^ tell me if you want the word count because i'm unsure if i should put it or not

characters: ada!dazai osamu, edogawa ranpo, chuuya nakahara

warnings: smut, mdni, im still putting ooc here, binding, biting (i'm still thinking tell me if smth needs to be added), rough sex (?), oral sex, use of y/n

(starts under the cut!)

‧₊˚⋅📃✎ᝰ..𖥔 ݁ dazai osamu

୨୧ loves binding you with random things that are flexible near him, like a tie or his bandages and things like that

୨୧ dazai just tangles his hand in your hair and like weaves through the strands and he doesn't want to pull his hand out so just pulls your hair and stuff

୨୧ if you ask him to be gentle, he compiles immediately and starts slowing down his relentless thrusts

୨୧ likes preparing you first (using his skilled fingers)

୨୧ when you're all wet he just invites himself

୨୧ pm!dazai would have done gunplay occasionally

scenario:

"bella- shit, you feel so, so, good, baby, yeah- god," dazai moans, his pace not slowing down, but becoming faster, which was what you hadn't expected.

a few whimpers and moans escape your lips, turning the taller on more, "'s-'samu, s-shit, slow down," you whimper some more as dazai hoists a leg on to his shoulder, allowing him to reach deeper places into your hole.

you scream, only to be stopped by two fingers going into your mouth. "shush, bella, yosano-san will find out. you certainly don't want that, do you?"

you shook your head in response, tears rapidly flowing down and reaching the crumpled sheets. although you cried, it was because of both the pain and the pleasure that your boyfriend was giving you.

"osamu..." you mumble as he slowed down his pace to an actually bearable one. "you're too harsh on me."

"oh? is that so?" he grinned and started to fasten his pace once again. "hmm?"

"o-osamu-! fuck-" as your pretty mewing and moans reached his ears, he grabbed a string of bandage on the nightstand next to you and tied your hands with it. "-osamu?"

"mm, you look more delightful than ever like this, bella." the man smirked.

"shall the show officially begin, now?"

‧₊˚⋅📃✎ᝰ..𖥔 ݁ edogawa ranpo

୨୧ into foodplay is the first thing i'll say

୨୧ loves sucking on tits too (literally his favorite thing to do what am i on about)

୨୧ loves sex after a tired day at work (like MINOURA or new people insulting him and stuff) (by insulting i mean saying that he isn't a good enough detective)

୨୧ sex between the both of you always starts with a make out session and then (and then) BOOM you strip and the good part starts

୨୧ he is a lazy bottom for real but when he's mad/frustrated oh boy you bouta see some stars

୨୧ loves when you top him

scenario:

quite a while had passed since you were bouncing on his on his cock, your moans and his combining into a harmony that was unique on the world, and only happens once a week or so.

ranpo had come home from a bad day, a frustrating one. you had always tended to his needs when it came to to tired days. and the same applies for you.

"mm...you look so nice bouncing like that f'me, sugar," the raven-head grins as he aids you with his hand.

you moan prettily, as you say, "ranpo- ngh-"

his moans get louder as he goes closer to reaching his peak. a while more after, you come with him closely following you in the motion. "well, sugar," his chest heaves up and down. "did you enjoy it?"

"m-mhm," you nod, unable to speak too much.

"well," he flips you around, now him on top of you as he puts the lollipop he was sucking in your mouth.

"let's begin round two."

‧₊˚⋅📃✎ᝰ..𖥔 ݁ nakahara chuuya

୨୧ not into gunplay, just because he's in the mafia, doesn't mean he has to be into gunplay right?

୨୧ is really soft with you once you warm up and stuff

୨୧ doesn't really have kinks

୨୧ had this one time he used his ability to pin you down

୨୧ active bottom? maybe. likes being in control more, though

୨୧ loves giving oral

scenario:

"doll, y/n, you're taking me so good, fuck-" chuuya groans in pleasure as your throat contracts and takes his length fully.

"ngh-" you couldn't really speak, considering...his dick was down your whole throat.

the red-head threw his head back as his eyes shut close, all while waves of pleasure overwhelmed his whole body and took over him.

your gaze went up, and observed chuuya. it was as if he had no more self-restraint at all. his gloved hand was tangled in your h/c hair, as he subconsciously massaged your scalp.

your groans met chuuya's sensitive ears and the sounds only turn him on more.

"sweetheart- ngh, fuck, s'good-" he felt some weird feeling gather at the bottom at his spine. was it his orgasm coming? perhaps. but in that moment, nothing mattered. in this world, you are his only pillar. you are his life. you are his everything.

one last moan and he came in your mouth, and less than a few seconds later, you also came. he pulled out as he watched his cum drip from his tip, and you swallowing the bodily fluid your hot session had produced.

"you were so good, doll." chuuya tenderly wiped a few beads of sweat off your forehead.

"i-" you swallowed your saliva, "it felt...good. maybe we should try again some other time, chuu."

"'s that so?" he smiled.

"we should end the night here. we're tired, after all."

©all banners, dividers, and stories are made by marikosenwrites and the pictures in it are from pinterest. i own none of the bungo stray dogs/bungou stray dogs/文豪ストレイドッグス characters mentioned here. all rights reserved, please do not steal.

mdni banner taken from @cafekitsune! (their work is much appreciated)

[kingofthe-egirls]

EXHIBITIONISM: LUFFY x Y/N

original idea by @thevirtualvalentine 💕 thank you so much for letting me play with this scenario! it sparked something sexy in me and i dont think im the same after ☠️

(cw: exhibitionism, sex, dirty talk, slut/whore/bitch, dom!luffy, handcuffs/chains)

(a/n: hhhnnngggg im sooo normal so normal)

Songs: "Sexy Villain" by Remi Wolf

words: 1.5k

“There she fucking is,” Luffy pants, marveling at the sounds you’re making, his hand around your throat. “Thought ya’d never speak up.”

You whimper, moaning against the bars of your cell. Your hands are cuffed in front of you, like Luffy’s, but he’s using the chain of his to pull your hips back against him as he fucks you. The iron digs into your stomach, your torso left bare for all of Udon to see. Jeers come from the neighboring cells.

“No fair! Why don’t we get to see her!?”

“Yeah, make some noise! We wanna hear ya cum!”

“Scream for us, girlie!”

And other profanities are shouted your way. Even the guards are palming themselves at their posts. Your blood boils, anger fighting with lust as the infamous Mugiwara no Luffy fucks you like a toy.

“Ah, fuckin’ listen to them,” Luffy moves from choking you to playing with your tits, pinching harshly at your sensitive nipples. You cry out, and immediately bite your lip. A roar of encouragement comes from your fellow prisoner audience.

“S’hot, isn’t it baby?” He leans forward to lick the shell of your ear. His tongue is hot and strong, just like the rest of him. He sucks at your neck possessively. “‘M takin’ ya home with me,” he murmurs, palming your tits before sliding his hands down to grip your waist. His pace quickens. “Every pirate needs a whore, hah? And the king deserves the best, dontcha think?”

His pace is rapid, now, approaching the first of many climaxes for the night. This has become a sort of routine, with you two. It had started as just flirting, both of you skipping hands over knees, pressing elbows into sides, as you passed each other doing “chores” for the guards.

Then kissing started, snuggled together as much as you could be on the cell floor. And then fucking.

When Luffy fucks, he fucks loud.

It wasn’t a secret for very long, before the surrounding cellmates heard you two going at it like hungry wolves.

And then the cheering started.

It’s a nightly show, almost, kept under wraps by the guards who are too horny to get the two of you to stop. If anyone gets near the cell bars anyway, Luffy fends them off with a wave of conqueror’s haki. And he never lets them touch you during the day. Devil fruit or no, there’s no way he’s letting them get their disgusting hands on you.

Oh, they can jerk off and jeer, for all Luffy cares, but they’re not allowed to touch you. You’re his whore, he decided the first moment you brushed your knuckles along the back of his hand, passing by him in the dusty path. He had felt an electric jolt of want course through him, and one touch of his haki told him you felt the same. It wasn’t long before the two of you started fucking every night.

Now, he slaps your ass with the flat of his hand. Somehow still flexible in his cuffs, he lands another slap, and then another. He lets the dogs outside watching call out a count: all the way to ten. Your ass cheek is tingling. Luffy leans forward again, caressing the spot that now bares his handprint. “Ready for the other side? Hm?” He grins, biting at your ear. “How ‘bout ten more this time?”

You whimper, wiggling your hips back against his pelvis. He slows his pace, just for a bit, letting you fuck yourself back onto his cock. You’re so desperate, for this.

“Yes, sir~!” You moan out, already drunk on the attention. He grunts.

“Hear that?” He asks the crowd, raising his voice enough to be heard, “She wants the other side, now!”

And Luffy spanks your ass twenty times for them. He’s not cruel: he doesn’t hit the same exact spot twice in a row, but god you’re gonna be sore tomorrow. “And it’s captain, bitch,” he murmurs in your ear.

“Yes, captain!” You moan almost immediately, closer to cumming than you’ve ever felt in your life. Your blood is running hot—hotter than fire—and Luffy’s chaotic thrusts are only bringing you closer and closer toward your delightful, little death.

“‘M cumming! ‘M cumming!” You manage out, gripping onto the sweaty bars in front of you. “Thank you Luffyyy!” He cackles behind you, speeding up just enough to tip you over the edge. Your eyes roll back, rocked to your core by a violent, sucker punch of an orgasm.

“Good girl,” he soothes, slowing down for you, “Such a good job for me, pretty,” he turns you around, cupping your face softly in both hands. He presses your back against the bars, cold metal stinging your exposed skin. You’re flushed, panting, and Luffy is grinning like the sun. His smile stretches halfway across his face, and you have no choice but to meet him with a soft smile of your own. (He’s too handsome for his own good).

It doesn’t take you long to figure out Luffy knocked out the surrounding voyeurs. There’s nothing but snoring, now. He laughs, running a hand through his hair as he backs up away from you. You lean back against the bars, yourself. Your legs feel like jelly. You meet his eyes from across the room, hazy and dark like glinting jewels. You cock an eyebrow.

“So, when are we getting out of here, captain?”

He grins.

****

It turns out to be tomorrow afternoon, in fact.

He scales the sheer cliff face with ease, having knocked out any potential threats with a sophisticated blow to their energetic awareness. Several guards slump over beneath you, spears still loosely grasped in their clumsy fists.

Luffy starts snickering almost immediately, your arms wrapped around his neck as he carries you like a backpack. “Was just waitin’ for the right time,” he tells you, cheeks flushed with exertion. You hop up another few feet, bouncing on his back a bit as he scales the cliff.

Your chest is pushed up against his back, with your legs wrapped around his thick torso. His build is sturdy, his strength immeasurable, and you feel almost at peace—like a baby koala.

You tell him as much, and he laughs.

“S’cute,” he huffs, reaching up to grab another jutting handhold in the rock face. “Ya like being my baby?”

You grin, tucked between his shoulder blades. Your lips move against his skin: yes. Your ratty t-shirt presses into him, absorbing his heat and warming you through. The night air sends chills down your spine, but only just. Luffy’s like a radiator, climbing with you on his back. He hums.

“Like having ya as my baby,” he continues, jumping upward several feet. You gasp, but he lands with both feet firmly planted against the rock face. His hands scrabble for a landing, loosely grasping at stone, before you start to tip backwards.

You shoot out your hand before you can think: gravity pulling at your stomach and twisting harshly. “No,” you hiss, gripping the stone in front of you so hard your fingers bruise. You grit your teeth against the sharpness of the stone, holding your weight long enough for Luffy to get a hold on the cliff face himself. Three quarters of the way there.

He pants. “Thanks.”

“No problem,” you mutter, and hide your face between his shoulder blades.

He climbs the rest of the way, and neither of you have another problem scaling the sheer wall surrounding Udon’s base. Luffy sighs, landing on his stomach once he pulls both of you up onto the ledge. You unwrap your limbs from his sweaty, shaking body before crawling off to collapse on your own.

“Cmon,” he croaks, grabbing your hand, “Can’t stop now.”

So you get up, and start walking.

All the way back to his ship.

****

After the war (which you sorta help with, in your injured, post-prison state) he takes you back to his ship for good.

“Here she is!” Luffy laughs, collapsing on the deck of his warship. “Our new crewmate!”

Usopp eyes you warily, slingshot clutched in his fist. “Wh-what’s her job?”

Luffy sits up, smiling. “She’s my girlfriend!”

You stare at him, blankly. He’s never mentioned that to you, nor has he ever used something so sweet to refer to you. "Whore" is usually more like it.

He stretches out a rubber arm to wrap around your waist. He brings you over onto his lap, grinning like a monkey. “She’s got the best—“

“Okay,” you slap his arm, cutting him off, “They don’t need to know the specifics.”

He stops, but only just.

His eyes are glimmering with mischief.

****

It’s not long before he’s pounding you into the mattress of his sweaty bed.

You’re crooning out sounds you never thought possible, with his monstrous speed and elongated rubber cock. He’s better than a vibrator, you think.

Luffy slaps your ass. “Atta girl,” he preens, “Let em hear ya.”

He’s an exhibitionist outside of prison, as well.

So are you.

So you scream and cry on his dick, letting Captain Luffy know just how much you need it.

[ssparksflyy]

Hey Hello! I would like to request some headcanons of Leo V. With a children of Hypnos or Dionysus, thank you!

ask and thou shall receive ༉‧₊˚.

leo valdez dating hcs "(っ- ‸ - ς)ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁

pairing: leo valdez x child of hypnos!reader warning(s): swearing probably idk i just put it in case now an: honk mimimimimimimi

yall remember that scene in frozen where anna is like "the sky's awake, so im awake, so we have to playyyyyy" and shes trying to wake up elsa? yea. thats leo.

he CANNOT sleep. ever.

his hyperactive ass is always trying to gogogogogogogo!

and youre just like lemme sleep ;(

you try your best to stay awake to be out and about with him

he greatly appreciates it and downs like four melatonin gummies with a cup of coffee so he can finally knock out with you

( coffee reduces hyperactivity for people with adhd 👍👍 )

but ohmygod those days when he gets ideas early in the morning ugh

TURN THE SELENA OFF IT IS SIX IN THE MORNING YOU CAN CLEAN YOUR WORKBENCH LATER

has taken quite a few pillows to the head

but hes fineeeee hes still livingggggggg

mmmm he snores.

leo frickin snores

usually thats a normal human thing

but hes got that latino dad snore

house shaking, earth shattering, loud enough to make you deaf

( my friends and i call it the mexican dad snore because all our dads snore like that 😭)

as of right now its still developing

it still hasnt reached full dad snore

its like in lion king when simba cant roar

it comes with age okay

when his melatonin gummies kick in they kick IN okay

passed out no return

(god i need sleep like that)

im telling you hes either bouncing off the walls or dead

he tries to fight the sleep so badly sometimes

and hes GOOD at it

i honestly dont know how some of yall go days without sleep but hes one of those people

literally falling asleep as hes walking talking about "im fine!!"

NO YOURE NOT GO TO SLEEP

but then like one hug from behind and a small kiss on his neck from you is enough to make him give in

hes literally so weak when it comes to neck kisses bye

folds like a blanket

leo sleeps without a shirt but then has some of the funkiest pajama pants ever

all different kinds of designs and stuff

he REFUSES to be basic and wear those christmas checkered red pants whatever theyre called

but that entire genre of pants.. disowned. refuses to wear them

(no hate btw im literally wearing those pants as i write this)

has made sure u have the COMFIEST bed EVERRRR

hes installed like heaters, a cooler, the mattress is flexible (like in those commercials), the pillows are super soft, everything! absolutely everything!

honestly he doesnt seem too much like a plushies guy but at the same time he does

he has like one and its matching with you but like he stays loyal to that plushie and that plushie only

best cuddler tho ♡

he loves being able to hold you but sometimes he wants to be held too :(

a literal godsend during the winter honestly

no need for a heater when youve got mcshizzle over here

you gotta tough it out during the summer though

he feels so bad cause he doesnt want you to be warmer than it already is

but then you tell him you dont mind, just gotta have the ac on full blast !!

oh how i love leo valdez

[arolesbianism]

Oh oxygen not included printing pod we're rly in it now

[kalims]

I SEE SLOT REQUEST OPEN— IG??

Can i request a fluff with Octa trio(separately) on a date but being disturbed by the first year by questioning “why are you dating with this shady guy mom— you could’ve get better step father for us.” ace said…

AHAHAHAHAHA I JUST WANT CHAOS DURING TTHE DATE BETWEEN THE TRIO THAT WOULD BE FLABBERGASTED OR SHOCKED AND SPEECHLESS BY WHAT ACE SAYING THAT😭

that time where you became a parent | octavinelle

premise. there's a lot of firsts in relationships and getting your date crashed by your partner's self-proclaimed kids for the first time is apparently one as well.

cw. mention of getting tortured once (brief), someone disappears, mention of mafia as a comparison to the octa trio, not proofread

includes. gender neutral reader, fluff

note. hi yes, after ten years /j I've decided to test my flexibility with requests since I plan to take up commisions 😚

also ik that cw is really concerning but it's nothing bad in the writing i swear!! also you sent this ask a few hours ago (4) but I'm already done?? wow

hey also im so sorry I just realized you used a feminine term 'mom' and i only realized after I finished writing 💀 you didn't specify the reader and I didn't notice so I thought it's like gender neutral my bad!

azul ashengrotto | all of the above

"azul you've been frozen for a minute,, are you okay?"

"I'm,,, fine?" he thinks?

ace snorts. "dude you call that fine? you look like you just saw one of ursula's tentacles get cut off,"

shocked? flabbergasted? speechless? azul is just one huge combination of those three even though they're pretty much the same thing. he's just suprised, albeit a little disturbed that your... five grown men friends—‎also your apparent 'children' have now kidnapped you as their parent and is planning to make him a step-father without his consent!

he looks at you with a blink as if to as 'what in the great seven are they talking about' meanwhile you just shrug and take a bite out of the lunch azul had just bought you, thoroughly enjoying it because come on. who wouldn’t enjoy free food? it's your right as his partner to experience getting spoiled but that doesn't mean you don't get to not like it.

judging by the casual, indifferent demeanor you display and even your unbothered face? azul can tell that this happens lots of times and at some point you had accepted it.

also the ursula comment.. he got offended on her behalf, no way the great ursula would even let that happen to her. she's the epitome of greatness! plus... he'll have your bratty child know that octopuses can regrow a limb!

wait a minute.

azul sputtered and frowned defensively. "excuse me? shady?" he'll have them know that he is a perfectly—perfect father for your children! there is no 'better' because he simply is the best.

oh azul... who's gonna tell him that he's obviously showing off whenever your grown 'kids' are around in hopes of getting their approval? no one apparently cause ace thinks it's too funny for it to be stopped and he needs seriously good entertainment that matches up to this level.

god lord if anyone sees him snooping around the library on topics that typically interest teens.. or jade leaking out the fact that he sent the tweels to collect information about the five.. that makes for good blackmail according to them and he's starting to get concerned with how many material they had gotten from him.

ㅤ

jade leech | more amused than suprised

"I believe that I am capable of reaching the standards of your 'children'," a chuckle.

epel quips over from the side casually, toning his pitch up a notch to showcase the knowing voice. "hows your criminal record? clean?"

the chuckling ceases.

okay maybe he can reach their expectations in ways that doesn't involve a clean record. in his defense that person had crossed a line so jade had to... remind them which line to stay behind. it's not like epel knows that the speeding ticket was just a cover up for the more concerning one and as much as jade liked to tell the tale, he supposes he'd get much more disagreement if he told the other story, so he resorted to talking about the less... severe crime.

jack in particular voices his disagreement, more so when jade had commented on craving meat while eyeing jack in a way that the buff man immediately got offended and snitched to you.

safe to say that as much as you love your concerning, tall, red flag boyfreind he's definitely gonna feel the heat from your glare. that day jade learned not to mess with jack cause despite how ironically strong the man is? apparently he's a pretty big snitch cause he always goes to you and tries to 'convince' you that even kalim makes a better lover.

jade did not like that at all. why like the excruciatingly boring sunshine of scarabia? I mean come on, over kalim and jade? who's less boring? he questions you with a particularly coy smile.

for your sake, he supposes. the five troublesome first years had gotten less treatment for him nowadays and he's made it perfectly clear that he has the capability to mess with them once again, be it in a battle of mentality, or strength. but just cause he let them off doesn't mean their off the hook yet! which is great because with the subtly implications he had made meant that jack with the quick mouth wouldn't be so quick to snitch on him.

for a guy who tortur—I mean, gave a perfectly justified punishment to a sinner jade is pretty childish and competitive to prove that he's a pretty damn good boyfriend that no one,,, absolutely no one (not even your kids lol) can mess with.

ㅤ

floyd leech | thinks it's really funny and wants to be the dad

"awww.. shrimpy you didn't tell me you got a whole troupe of baby shrimpies," floyd giggles.

"I mean they didn't tell me that I was their parent too so,"

"hmph! calling the prefect my parent would be disrespecting master lilia!" sebek bemoaned—loudly despite accepting a parental scold about volume from you.

most of the sentence that ace commented about him being... shady? just went in one ear and out the other. I mean yeah, he isn't gonna blow the 'cover' but they're mafia type shit shady and he can't exactly deny what they see. and apparently what ace sees is that you need a better 'husband' and they need a better 'step-father' to which floyd replied a; "there's no one else. you're stuck with me baby shrimpies,"

floyd's grin was very ominous but when was it not? though his specific harder emphasis on 'no one' concerns you a little and you even had a moment of realization because besides that one guy who miraculously disappeared after he flirted witn you quite literally disappeared from thin air... who else approached you after that?

but just like any other MC you shrug it off :) (for the sake of the plot)

for some reason floyd believes the family thing wholly and had now squeezed himself into it—to the dismay and endless complaints from sebek. besides the obvious dislike the angry teen had out for him, floyd seems to think the opposite and even finds sebek amusing! (to the further suffering of sebek floyd had requested for him to call him dad)

sebek refused of course and explained he already had a father and simply could not!

floyd took it the wrong way and asked you if you were seeing another person 😭 I mean there's only one person 'lilia' in the school and from sebek's 'master-lilia' from their conversation it's clear that the boy was referring to whoever lilia is as his father so he tried to get jade up in it (who loved the idea of storming diasomnia but hell, even jade was wary of the nobody floyd never heard of in his life!)

^ coughs that was his jealousy speaking. in the end jade outright talked him out of it and told him that he could always spread some.. things since it always works.

out of jealousy floyd had told you that lilia sounds like a 5 year old name and is lame. jealousy may come in fire but floyd's come in grude. you just feel kinda bad for lilia lol

ㅤ

──  ko-fi

[cdbabymp3]

hi! i love ur editor!reader, i was wondering what some like domesticated things her and hamzah do? like do they shop together for necessities? do they cook for each other? or do they kind of like mind their own business while being roomates? love you sm queen

𐙚domestic stuff ― hamzahthefantastic

notes/warnings: just a collection of domesticated activities w these two shy freaks <3 nothing super nsfw, just mentions of pads and using condoms lol

farmer's market 🍊

hamzah found this street downtown that holds a bunch of food and trinket vendors every sunday morning, so that's what sundays usually look like for them. the market opens at 8am and you guys are always the first ones there LMFAO. hamzah will be like, "oh, wow, this is so cool! how much is it?" and the poor lady working the tent is still setting up her stuff 😭 it's also a fun opportunity to try new foods that the vendors make homemade, which he's all over. lowkey he's a bit of snob when it comes to organic food, so he loves the homegrown/homemade shit. you'll both separate for a bit and come back with samples for each other to try, it's very wholesome. "ah-hamzah! too spicy!" you giggle, waving your hand over your mouth, not even sure what hamzah just gave you to try "no, they're good! i bought a whole bag!" he holds up a large bag of spiced cashews with a price sticker that says $30.00 "30 dollars???!!" you spit out what's in your mouth and grab the bag "yeah, but they're homemade!"

cooking 🥄

believe it or not, hamzah is a pretty decent cook ! he teaches you some simple recipes since you've never lived on your own before. you guys like to try recipes that are wayyyy too advanced for you just as a challenge. it usually ends in ordering take out, but you two laugh and bond so it's #worth it. plus, it's the perfect excuse to watch him open sauce jars and help you stir when your arms get tired. with your flexible schedule and him filming, you're the one who cooks for the two of you―unless he really wants to. he has a burner facebook account just for recipes im so serious. he does not play....if it's a way to impress you, he's doing it. you mentioned wanting cupcakes randomly? he's never baked in his life, but for you he's reading 'susan's yummy vanilla cupcakes in a pinch' like it's the bible. he even goes to mandy for baking tips, but makes her swear not to say anything to you or martin. 'accidental' food fights. if you're both working on dinner together, he'll 'accidentally' get some marinara sauce on your hand, so you flick some parmesan cheese back at him. this usually results in you two chasing each other around your small kitchen, trying to dodge small bits of flying ingredients. one time, martin facetimed you guys in the middle of a food fight and he was so confused. "wait, what are you guys doing?" he gets close to the camera, noticing bits of food and stains on both your shirts "it's pizza night. mind your fucking business, bro." hamzah will try not to laugh and hang up 😭

shopping 🛒

let's just say the walmart and ikea employees hate to see you two coming.... you guys take so long at both stores, but especially walmart. hamzah is always grabbing shit you don't need and then forgets where he found it. you're there on average 2 hours per trip, it's embarrassing. just to get basic necessities, it takes forever. you offer to split up so you can get your stuff and he can get his, but he refuses like a child. he also gets distracted easily, so you figure it's better if he sticks with you. that way he can't get lost. however, with how reliant he is on you for the grocery list and location of the items, when you're sick and can't join him.... it's a fucking nightmare. he'll call you or facetime to make sure he's getting the right stuff, but he's speaking full volume and you keep telling him to be quiet. "wait, which ones? the green or purple?" he asks, flipping the phone camera so you can see "um, the purple, yeah..." you say quietly, face flushed "purple??? these big hammock-lookin' ones?" "i'm hanging up." you'd never tell him, but when he brought home the groceries you swear you saw a box of condoms amongst his bag of toiletries. a pang of nervousness and jealously hits you. your brain rapid fires a million questions like: when is he using those? does he think he's going to need them soon? who is he using them with? it's none of your business, you know that, but still.....sometimes you forget he can just go out and hook up with someone he if wants. it's makes you a little sick to your stomach. albeit slightly possessive, it's hard to picture him with someone else when you two spend so much time together on the daily. sure, he could meet some nice girl at a coffee shop. they could hit it off and she could take him back to her place. but she doesn't go lamp shopping at ikea with him or know which deodorant he likes and which one he's allergic to.

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