#oh to be a fly on the wall. how am i supposed to wait two whole weeks for the next ep helpndjvbfjd

[totheecore]

Buddie in 911 7x06 | There Goes The Groom (Promo )

[hyunjinsjeans]

He knows (Chan ver.)

Lee Know ver. | Changbin ver. | Hyunjin ver.

Masterlist

Synopsis: Chan is your husband and he knows you want to start a family, but how does he know? And what happens when he tells you he knows? This. This is what happens.

Type: Fluff 🧸, SFW 👍

Warnings: Mentions of pregnancy

Word count: 1140

AN: this is my first piece of writing for anything K-pop-related on this site, please be kind! No proofreading, sorry!

You are married to this man. He defines himself by his job. He lived for it though, after working so hard to get to where he is he also enjoys it so much. So you can’t complain. But he does have one more thing he wants on his instagram bio. So far he is producer, singer, rapper and dancer. As of a year ago he is also husband. He knows the time is right. He knows you don’t want to pressure him but whenever you’re together he can sense the unspoken words flying around in the air between the two of you.

Oh yes, Chan knows. He knows how to read people, and you are top of the list of his favorite ones. He will read you like a book. He will understand even the things you don’t say, he will know the second you are ready. He will, however, wait for the right moment. Sometime when he knows he will have the energy, the free time and the emotional availability to do it.

He owes you his full attention if you are doing this together.

And once he seizes the opportunity he is going in for the kill. He proposes it in a serious tone. If it asn’t just the two of you, it would seem you were having a “family meeting”. He is straightforward about it.

“We should have a kid, Y/N. I think it’s time, I’m ready and you’re ready.”

And the words get caught in your throat because what the hell? You were incredibly ready. He knew this, you knew this. Your friends probably knew this.

From the way you cooed at any and every child under 5 whenever you spotted one, how little kids gravitated toward you at the park or at the movies and you always had a kind smile to offer them along with the helping hand finding their parents, to the way you seemed to constantly be handed strangers' babies at the grocery store or at airport lines.

It was no news. You always loved kids and after getting married and moving to your own home, you made it a point to have a guest room and an empty room. Chan had noticed. Why leave a room completely empty? “Just in case we need it someday” you had shrugged when he asked. But it was painfully obvious a few months into the move that you visited that room and stared at the empty walls with bright shiny eyes, with a smile that tugged at the corners of your lips in a way so subtle it was almost imperceptible, you always left the room with a sigh and a bowed head as if ashamed to have the plans you had for that room. Chan had witnessed it enough times to have you figured out. It brought a warmth to his heart, seeing how eager you were about the subject and yet you kept quiet because you didn't want to put any pressure on him, thinking he already had a lot to deal with as the leader of a very successful group.

So of course, the second he said those words you couldn’t help yourself. “Oh I was waiting for you to be ready!”

Chan lets out a joyful laugh, his eyes become tiny as his cheeks grow puffy with the glee in his reaction.

“I know!” He exhales, “but you didn’t say anything and I’m tired of it. When you want something -anything, please just tell me!” His expression softened "I'll always have time to listen to you, and there's nothing you can ask of me that I wouldn't give you."

He is leaning on the kitchen table while you’re sitting opposite him. You push yourself back on your chair and look at him with a side smile on your face, the rice cooker making its beeping sound to signal dinner is ready.

“How am I supposed to drop that one on you?!” You laugh as well, it’s clear you are not really arguing “Am I supposed to say “hey Chan, I want a baby” or what?”

“Well… yeah.” He scratches at his neck, “that’s okay, it’s a good way to start talking about it.”

You huff and look away, but ultimately you are pretty happy he brought it up. He knows this as well; there is no hiding your enthusiasm, you're practically buzzing.

“I do want to have a baby, Chan” you lean forward on the table, your elbows on the hard surface while you hide your smile behind your hands.

Chan sighs, stilling his laughter as he pulls the chair back to take a seat and stare at you. He poses his arms and hands the same as yours, mirroring your actions.

“I want that too”, he mumbles, shy but true.

“Can we have that?” You wonder, your eyes falling on his hands, soft yet strong.

Chan has held you many times, and supported you through different times. You know he can be a perfect constant to hold on to, but you wonder if his career can take this. If he can be there for you for this. Because if you are honest, your biggest fear is that he will put too much pressure on himself if he tries to be a leader and a good partner to a pregnant wife at the same time. You have always known him to be the kind of guy to step up without anyone asking him to. You have learned from him to be the same, to grow stronger for Chan to have someone to support him as well...but this time you have to be realistic, how much can you share the weight of things once you are also worried about the safety of a baby? How much stress can you take from him while getting ready to have a kid.

He drops his hands on the table, you have moved your gaze from his eyes to his hands to the table. You are doubtful, you are pulling away from him as you speak.

“We can.” He assures you, reaching out to pull your hands in his. “We can do this.”

Chan brings you back with his words, his tone is honest and bright. His eyes are full of joy and excitement.

You feel the warmth of his skin on your skin and look up with hope, your trust in him is so complete you nod, you don’t even think about it as you reply. You would die for your husband. You would take all the pain, all the responsibility, and hardships for him. And so would he for you. This is why doubting what you two can accomplish together is ridiculous, you shake your head from all those doubts and squeeze his hands between your own.

“Let’s do this.” You whisper.

--------

Likes, Reblogs and Comments are welcome! Thank you for reading!

[savingcrxws]

EYES ON FIRE | just pretend

[ next chap ]

synopsis. you and carmen start off on the wrong foot and richie stirs the pot.

word count. 3.5k

warnings. language, hardly proofread but i tried

authors note. lets goooo, this is based off of this headcanon that i would recommend reading before this chapter(kinda treat it as a prologue)--lets get to part one!

"Richie, you dick."

If you had a dime for everytime Richard Jerimovich managed to inconvenience you, you could probably buy the Bean three times over.

But this, this really takes the cake. 

“Well if it isn’t our little college graduate here in good ol’ Orleans Street,” Richie cheers, throwing his hands in the air in fake surprise as a smirk rises slowly onto his face. You feel like if you were to glare at the man any harder, you might actually make his head explode.

“What brings you here, sweetheart?”

You take a minute to try to collect yourself before you absolutely blow up in Richie’s face. Carmen stands directly across from you, just behind the bar, dressed in a dirtied white tee stained in a sauce of some kind. He’s very obviously avoiding eye contact with you, leaning over the bar and seemingly very interested in the walls around you. 

“If I recall correctly, you asked me to come here, Richie,” you grit out, gripping the tote bag that hangs over your shoulder tighter. You press your lips together before a choice few words slide from between your teeth.

You see Carmen tense up at what you said, shoulders hunching up before dropping almost as quickly. The dirty blonde brings a hand up to his forehead in what you can only assume to be pure disbelief. 

You continue. “You called me literally like, two hours ago.”

“Really, me? You sure it wasn’t another Richie? Maybe a Rick?”

“Richie, please don’t piss me off right now. I swear to God–”

A loud slam interrupts the developing argument and nealyr sends you flying out of your skin.

Your eyes dart over to Carmen, whose hands are splayed flat across the span of the bar. His head is tilted down, curls falling to cover almost all of what you could see of his face. He takes a breath before turning his head to look at the older man behind him. 

His face is a bright red, angry flush sinking down past the collar of his shirt.

“Richie, you motherfucker,” he grits out, dragging a hand down his mouth before slamming his fist on the bar counter, rattling the plates and miscellaneous cups that littered across it. Richie tenses up behind him, catching on to the anger almost radiating off of him.

"Why the fuck would you invite her here?" Carmen yells, speaking of you like you weren't only a couple feet away from him. You frown, insulted at his disregard of you.

"Oh believe me, I hardly am jumping to be here myself, Berzatto." You spit.

Richie raises his hands in defense, taking a step back as Carmen bucks up towards him. “Hey, man, don’t shoot the messenger.” He casts a stray hand in your direction and Carmen’s eyes instinctively follow, making eye contact for the first time since you entered the restaurant.

The heat of his stare was strong, something that you could best describe as a blend of anxiety and anger. You notice that his eyes trail up and down your form, not in a "checking you out way" and more of a "I cant believe you're here right now" way.

“Bug usually never responds to my messages! Honestly, how was I supposed to know she would now,” Richie continues, still trying to maintain distance away from Carmen.

Carmen seems overwhelmed, split between jumping at Richie for his fake naivete or running a million miles away from you. He curls his hands into fist, and for a second, you think he's going to throw a punch. Quickly though, Carmen steps away from Richie and casts one more look towards you.

You wait for him to say something to your face, but he doesn't.

“I’m leaving,” Carmen mumbles under his breath, taking in another deep breath before abruptly turning and throwing open the kitchen door. The swinging door flies out and hits the wall, a sudden crack that you are sure would leave a dent later.  Almost immediately, you hear the sound of distant bustling and pans clattering around. 

A voice yells out in confusion. “What the hell, Jeff?”

You bring a hand to your forehead, feeling a headache incoming. It couldn’t have been more than three minutes and simply being around Carmen had given you more stress than you’ve had in the past week. Casting a glance up at Richie, you give him a final glare. The man simply shrugs his shoulders and gives a charismatic grin. “Well, that was pleasant wasn’t it, bug?” 

“Ayo, Richie, what the fuck is up with Jeff,” a voice questions as they walk in from the path of destruction that Carmen left in his behind. The owner of that voice is none other than Tina, and for some reason, seeing her alleviates at least some of the headache you feel pulsating across your skull. Tina casts a confused glance at Richie, who simply points over in your direction. Tina’s eyes follow and when she makes eye contact with you a familiar smile drapes across her lips. 

"Oh, well now I understand why Jeff's so pissed off."

"Yeah, and then the asshole has the nerve to act all coy, like he didn't blow my phone up with messages begging me to go down to the restaurant," you complained, throwing your head back to take another gulp of the wine in your cup.

In front of you, Sugar swirled her own glass of sparkling grape juice, shaking her head in disbelief at the absurdity of it all.

Shortly after Tina had walked out, you had left the restaurant (not before flipping Richie the bird) and immediately went to text Sugar for a rant session. Being the absolute angel that she is, she agreed almost immediately, stating that she had some qualms she wanted to rave about as well. Two glasses of Merlot for you and some non-alcoholic beverages for Natalie later, you two were sitting on the two ends of Sugar's couch, the TV playing a rerun of Selling New York as background sound for your current conversation.

"Yeah, Richie is a jerk." You nod in appreciation for her understadning your annoyance.

"And don't even get me started on you-know-who's reaction? He barely even acknowledged my existence!" You throw your free hand in the air. "Speaking about me like I wasn't right there?"

You release an exasperated sigh. "The ego on that guy."

Natalie hums, taking a languid sip of her drink. "Well, that sounds like Carmy alright. A tiny little ball of asshole-ery at any given point of time." The blonde reaches a hand over and places it on your knee. "Sorry my brother is such a dick."

You give a small smile at Sugar, resting your own hand on top of hers. "No need, it's clear you took all the 'sane person' genes in the Berzatto bloodline." Your joke pulls a giggle out of Sugar, the slight truth of her statement not missing between the two of you.

"But enough about me," you place your glass down on her coffee table before continuing. "What's going on in your life Nat?"

You listen as she rants about the stress of preparing for a bringing baby into the home. She talks about how those Al-Anon meetings she regularly attends are going, and how her one coworker Bryson seems to have a vendetta against her.

After a moment, Natalie coughs slightly, eyes darting across the living room in thought before returning back to you. "And well, I hate to keep talking about Carmy but..."

The smile drops quickly off of your face as Sugar trails the last word. "But what, Suge?"

"Buttt, Carmen's trying to rebuild The Beef," Sugar peers down into the contents of her glass as she speaks, "he's rebranding it as The Bear, and I've been trying to help him and the crew get everything sorted before they start tearing the building down."

You press your lips together tight at the mention of the familiar name.

"Personally, Carm, I don't see much wrong with the restaurant now?"

"The place is held together by a roll of duct tape and a dream, bug, I don't think you have to look very hard to see some issues."

You glance up at him from your position on his chest, looking as he gazed up at the ceiling of your bedroom. While his gaze was physically directed at the old glow in the dark stars scattered across the ceiling, you could tell his head was in a total different world.

"So you want to start a new restaurant?" You question, watching as Carmen shakes his head as soon as the words leave your lips.

"Nah, I just want to make it better, ya know? For Mikey, and Sugar, and Ma."

Sugar, noticing you are distracted, stops her sentence and gives a little frown, watching as your gaze drifts off somewhere distant.

Despite the years that have past, she knows that you still have feelings towards her brother. She was there for most of it, watching as you and Carmen went from daily hangouts to a weekly phone call, to a monthly check-in text, to, well, nothing.

She consoled you through most of the grieving phase of a post-breakup, like you had done for her a couple of times before. And after a few weeks of busting into tears anytime his name was mentioned, you began to heal, and focused those strong emotions towards improving yourself.

Natalie let a wistful sigh, pulling you out of your thoughts. Shaking the fog away, you give a remorseful smile at having basically cut Sugar off midway through her spiel. She gives you another small smirk before shaking her head, dismissing your silent apology with a wave of her hand. She draws another sip of her sparkling juice.

"But Carmen has been driving me up the wall with all the shit he wants me to help juggle. If I schedule one more appointment I might pull my hair out."

"Oh no, please don't do that, honey," Pete calls out from the kitchen, very obviously having been listening in on your gossip time from the kitchen table. Sugar gives off slight grimace at Pete's abrupt callout at her obvious exaggeration, shrugging her shoulders and giving a placating call back towards her husband.

Reaching back towards the table, you grab the wine glass from earlier. "Do you have anyone to help you? You know I have some connects who can manage the money and strategy end?" You offer, more than willing to alleviate some of the stress from your friend's shoulders.

"Yeah, can I have that guy who assisted you when you managed La Raison?" Sugar teases. "I have no idea how you managed to help that business go from near bankrupt to one of the best sellers down Michigan Avenue."

"Carter? Yeah, no. That dude was an asshat. He was more useful kissing up to the store owners than actually doing his job," you shake your head at the mention of one of your old employers. Since graduating, you had taken into strategic and financial management for businesses across Chicago. La Raison had been one of your main businesses for a while, the owners soon becoming close friends of yours.

You loved what you did, though business management sounded like a right pain to most, you found joy in being able to rub your braincells together and actually make a difference. Plus, the pay wasn't too bad either.

Sugar chuckles. "Yeah, well, I wish I could just have you as a little angel on my shoulder, giving me all the answers to all of these problems that keep popping up."

Though she was joking, you can see the way her brows furrow simply thinking of all of the things that she has to do. You could only imagine the stress she is under right now. Balancing opening a new restaurant with her ever-present family dilemmas, and a baby on the way?

Natalie was beyond used to extensive stress, so you know she won't verbally express all of her worries. But the thought of Sugar carrying all of that on her shoulders draws a slight frown on your face.

Before you know it, the thoughts are falling from your brain and past your lips.

"What if I helped you manage the place."

You honestly do not know why you offered to help manage this fuckery that is disguised as a restaurant.

Shortly after you had offered to help, it was as if Natalie had died, saw the light, and returned back to Earth. She squealed like a teenage girl and thanked you profusely. While she shaked you and explained all the things that needed to be done, you slowly began to realize the implications of your offer.

You, helping Natalie manage Carmen, your ex-boyfriend's, restaurant. A responsibility that would obviously take months.

And honestly, you were tempted to withdraw your offer despite the happy squeals of relief that Natalie was letting out. That was, until the tears of relief started pouring from her eyes.

Those pregnancy hormones really guilt tripped you.

Now, a week later, you're back at The Beef. Well, you suppose The Beef is gone officially now, the rusting sign pulled down from its former position hanging above the restaurant entrance.

"Why the hell did I sign up for this shit," you question out loud, watching as Manny and Angel pulling out a broken sign from inside the restaurant. Sighing, you reach into your bag and pull out a cigarette box, pulling one out before digging for your lighter in your back pocket.

"Mami, what are you doing here?" You turn around at the voice behind you, cigarette hanging loosely from your lips. Tina stands behind you, a smile stretched across her lips. "Seeing you two weeks in a row? Someone must be dying."

You smile, opening your arms for a hug that Tina reciprocates. "Oh you know, I'm here to save your asses from complete and utter failure." Tina gently pats your back as you pull apart, and it makes you regret not checking in on her and the rest of the crew more often.

"Missed you, T." You mutter, a small grin pulling up on one corner of your mouth.

"Missed you too, mami," Tina pats your arm before wrapping her hand around your elbow. "Now, I'm not trying to step on your toes but...you do know who your helping out right?"

You grimace at her implication, the reality hitting you once again. Behind those glass windows stands the man who took your heart and literally tossed it away like it was nothing. Took all of those years that you had spent together and wasted it away.

Broke up with you over fucking text.

And now, you're about to walk into his restaurant and help Sugar, and, consequently, help him fix this fuck up.

Talk about fate.

"Yeah, T," you start, letting her guide you towards the entrance of the restaurant, where you see Marcus and Fak carrying out some lockers. You wave towards the men, to which Fak responds with such enthusiasm that he drops some of the lockers on the ground, much to Marcus' chagrin.

You grimace before continuing. "Just helping my asshole ex because his sister is my bestie."

Sugar had texted you that Sydney, Carmen's former sous chef and business partner, had been more than happy to hire you as a strategic manager for the business. Although she didn't mention it, you knew that a certain dirty-blonde was not so excited at mention of you coming to help.

"He knows we need the help, no matter how fragile his tiny little ego is," Natalie had told you, a knowing smile on her face.

"Don't lose your head, boss." Tina teases, pushing you first through the doorway. As you finally enter the store, you take note of the pure chaos that is the restaurant.

Plywood and debris scattered across the flower, miscellaneous kitchen supplies and utilities lining the walls. Ebraheim and Sweeps were taking a sledgehammer to some random panels, while Richie was yelling something from the kitchen. As you take in the madness, Tina pats your elbow before heading back towards the kitchen.

"Welcome to The Bear!" Richie calls out as soon as he notices you. Spreading his arms out in what you assume is a hug, you only offer him a solid stare. Richie drops his arms and heads towards you despite your very clear disdain for him at the moment. "Glad you could join the team, bug."

"Richie, why the hell are you covered in black dust?"

"Inconsequential, sweetheart," you roll your eyes at his response before stepping over the debris in front of you.

"Where's Nat, Richard," you question walking behind the bar and towards the office in the back. Richie grumbles something under his breath before shouting out 'office.' Busting through the kitchen door, you note that the kitchen is just as messy as the front of the house. Stepping over black dust on the ground, you tread over to the office.

"Suge? You in there?" You call out, peering over the corner and into the office. The room is unoccupied, filled with nothing but discarded papers with miscellaneous phone numbers and sprawled writings.

You make note of what you know to be Nat's handwriting, eyes trailing over all of her notes for appointments and scheduling. Your eyes also rove over the chicken scratch that you also know to be Carmen's scribbles. Placing your bag down on the desk, you sit down in the rolling chair and decide to wait for Sugar to come in.

You grabbed a random pile of papers and attempted to digest some of the information being presented to you.

Bank statements, IRS requests, insurance, licenses, permits.

Judging by all the shit that needed to get cleared just for the restaurant to legally be open, your surprised that Mikey wasn't being physically chased down by the IRS and thrown into jail.

"Hey, Sugar, Syd and I are going to work on the chaos menu tonight so I'm going to leave the rest up to you, okay?"

Carmen slings around the corner, too focused on pulling his coat on his shoulders to notice who exactly was sitting in the office.

Instinctively, you freeze at his sudden appearance in the doorway, breath caught in your throat. At the lack of response, Carmen finally looks up and makes direct eye contact with you.

His blue eyes widen, clearly not expecting you to be the person in the chair. You rack your brain over the next move to make, the silence continuing as he just stands in the doorway and practically gawks at your existence.

Deciding that staring indefinitely at each other was probably one of the worst things you can currently think of, you clear your throat to break the silence. That seems to break Carmen out of whatever state of shock he seemed to be in; you watch as he awkwardly wrings his hands, like he was at a lost of what to do next.

You're half-expecting him to make a repeat of the last time you saw each other and storm away from you. However, Carmen just stands there, eyes darting from you to random objects in the office then you again on repeat.

Both of you are waiting for the other to say something. To yell, chastise, and start an argument.

Biting the bullet, you start. "Hey, Carmen."

He seems to be taken aback that you even uttered his name, eyes meeting yours once again. You almost forgot how blue his eyes are-so bright that they're almost clear.

He nods in acknowledgement before saying your name to greet you in return.

Awkward silence fills the room once again. While you know that Carmen is hardly a conversationalist, this has to be the most painful quiet you've ever experienced.

Be amicable, you think to yourself. He's your boss/business partner now.

You're doing this for Sugar.

"Umm..," you trail off, eyes scanning the office around you in attempts to find something else to talk about. "I tried to find Nat, but she might have gone A.W.O.L"

Carmen nods his head a couple of times, a soft hmm leaving his lips. You can tell that he wants to say something, the words on the tip of his tongue but sealed behind his lips.

"Yeah, ok-okay, yeah." He nods rapidly, crossing his arms across his chest, lowering his gaze down to your shoes.

"Yep."

God, someone shoot me now.

Carmen clears his throat. "I-I-uuhh, you know, Sugar really appreciates the help."

You nod, licking your lips out of habit. "Yeah, she's told me."

"Yeah?"

"Yep."

Just when you were about to figure out a way to turn invisible or sink into the floor, Sugar rounds the corner and lightly bumps into Carmen's back. She lets out a noise of surprise from her throat and Carmen jerks forward a little.

"Carmy, why the fuck are you standing in the fucking doorwa-" Sugar cuts herself off when she spots you over her brother's shoulder. She makes eye contact with you and you swear you see a little mischief in her eyes. She pushes past Carmen to step inside of the office, crossing her arms over chest to assess the room.

You, sitting in the office chair, papers still grasped tightly in your hands and your lips practically licked dry from your nerves.

Across, Carmen stands angled towards Sugar, almost trying to physically minimize the amount of eye contact you two share.

Natalie surmises that she just saved the both of you from a very awkward moment "Oh, shit. Didn't mean to interrupt."

"No-no, uh, you're good, Sugar," Carmen sputters out, face flushing a bright red. He brings a hand over his mouth to physically stop the word vomit that was about to fall out of it. "Umm, was just gonna tell you that Sydney and I are leaving to work on the new menu."

Sugar's eyes dart over to you again, sitting stiffly in the office chair. She raises her eyebrows in question but you subtly shake your head.

Let's not talk about it right now.

She nods in acknowledgement before turning to fully face Carmen.

"Okay Carmy, you're good to go. Me and Bug here are just gonna get some paperwork sorted." Carmen looks in your direction at the use of the familiar nickname before he hmms again.

He takes a step back and waves his hand in goodbye. "All right, bye Sugar," he's fully outside of the doorway now, but he pauses before leaving you and Sugar's line of sight completely.

He stands there for a beat, running whatever thought across his mind a couple times. Finally, like he settled on an answer, Carmen gulps and raises his head to look at you.

He nods his head and whispers out your name and a goodbye, followed by a swift exit out of the kitchen.

You're practically stuck in the chair, the past five minutes having been a complete whirlwind. The kitchen door whips against the wall in a crack, the squeaking echoing from your place in the office. Your gaze is still focused on where your ex-boyfriend had stood not even a couple of seconds ago.

"Well," Sugar starts, a knowing smile across her face. "That wasn't as violent as I thought it was going to be."

requests to be in the taglist for this fic in the replies below or send me an ask! thank you all for reading!

[mcflymemes]

PORTAL 2 PROMPTS *  assorted dialogue from the 2011 video game, adjust as necessary

when life gives you lemons, don't make lemonade! make life take the lemons back! get mad! i don't want your damn lemons!

best case scenario, you might get some superpowers. worst case, some tumors.

science isn't about why. it's about why not.

the next test is very dangerous.

before the wright brothers invented the airplane, anyone wanting to fly everywhere was required to eat 200 pounds of helium.

to help you remain tranquil in the face of almost certain death, smooth jazz will be deployed in three... two... one.

please disregard any undeserved compliments.

all right, i've been thinking.

what am i supposed to do with these?

do you know who i am?

oh, i like this guy.

he says what we're all thinking.

you can head on back to your desk.

well, this is the part where he kills us.

hello. this is the part where i kill you.

i know you.

no! i'm not listening! i'm not listening!

you're lying!

you're not just a regular moron. you were designed to be a moron.

i am not! a moron!

now who's a moron?

could a moron do that?

i can't see it though. maybe it fell off.

do you want to go and have a quick look?

are you alive? that's important. should have asked that first.

i'm going to work on the assumption that you're still alive.

i'm just going to wait for you up ahead.

i'll wait one hour.

brilliant! go team!

i think we can put our differences behind us.

hi. so. how are you holding up?

good, that's still working.

here are the test results.

you are a horrible person.

i'm serious. that's what it says.

we weren't even testing for that.

don't be alarmed, all right?

good work getting this far.

i wish i could take it all back. i honestly do.

i'm in space.

if i were ever to see her again, do you know what i'd say? i'd say "i'm sorry." sincerely.

i am sorry. i was bossy and monstrous... and i'm genuinely sorry.

you made it through! well done!

okay, follow me. we've still got work to do.

what's happening?

okay... don't move.

so i've got an idea, but it is bloody dangerous. here we go.

they told me that if i ever turned this flashlight on, i would die.

they told me that about everything.

i don't even know why they bother giving me this stuff if they didn't want me to use it.

look at you, soaring through the air like an eagle.

i'm different!

prometheus was punished by the gods for giving the gift of knowledge to man. he was cast to the bowels of the earth and pecked by birds.

it won't be enough. the answer lies beneath us.

oh, it's dark down here, isn't it?

i'm proud of you.

now we are a family again.

that last test was seriously disappointing.

just work with me.

some of my best friends are actually orphans.

you look ugly in that jumpsuit.

that's not my opinion.

i'll be honest. we're throwing science at the wall here to see what sticks.

no idea what it'll do.

i knew someone was alive in here!

you'll know when the test starts.

oh thank god you're all right.

i thought you were my greatest enemy, when all along you were my best friend.

the best solution to a problem is usually the easiest one.

i'll be honest. killing you? is hard.

i had a pretty good life. and then you showed up.

you know what? you win. just go.

it's been fun. don't come back.

this sentence is false.

to be honest, i might have heard that one before.

you know, i'm not stupid.

i realize you don't want to put me back in charge.

i'm being serious. i think there's something really wrong with me.

we should get our stories straight.

no, we're not stopping!

don't make eye contact, whatever you do.

i feel awful about that surprise.

oh, that's sad. but impressive.

we're running out of time.

you've probably figured it out by now, but i don't need you anymore.

i'm afraid you're about to become the immediate past president of the being alive club.

the square root of rope is string.

okay, what you're doing there is jumping.

you know what? that's close enough.

you saved my bacon.

is this a jailbreak?

the next test is very dangerous.

it's been a long time. how have you been?

i've been really busy being dead. you know, after you murdered me.

you out having yourself a little adventure?

no, don't get up. i'll be right back.

you're unqualified!

what if this hurts? what if it really hurts? oh, i didn't think about that.

get your hands off me!

i can't see a thing! what just happened?

i don't have any bullets.

did you feel that?

you were busy back there.

that's funny. i don't feel corrupt.

i've got an idea! do what it says!

look how small you are down there!

do you have any idea how good this feels?

sorry, fellas. she's married. to science.

let me answer those questions with a question. who wants to make sixty dollars?

yes, all right, okay, this is getting tiresome.

well done. good. aren't you little miss clever. little miss smashy smash.

does it actually make you feel good when you do that?

it's not impressive.

what is this, like a hobby for you now?

i'm beginning to actually take it personally.

it's like an insult to me.

oh, there goes another one.

it's vandalism! it's pure vandalism!

it's just us talking like regular people.

are you going to open this door?

where'd you go? come back!

[baldursgat3]

Well I was bored so I did what everyone does and wrote a 3.5k word fanfiction and made a brand new blog to post it on. So.

Anyway that thing that Gortash did to his parents was pretty fucked up right? Oh hey Ascended Astarion what are you doing here?

gn Tav, cw for some allusions to some non-con-ish stuff, haven't even done an ascended run yet but it's fine also spawn Tav

He so rarely called on his ability to compel you, but you felt the sensation begin to creep at the back of your mind. It felt like a spider climbing up your brain stem to weave it's web inside your skull.  "Astarion, please don't-" "You are going to watch and listen. Do you understand? You are going to learn what is expected of you. And until you have, you will be obedient and silent. Am I clear, my darling?" "Yes, my love."

It was only supposed to be temporary - a punishment for having escaped yet again. It didn't matter that you had every intention of returning as soon as the sun began to poke over the horizon, you had still found yourself cornered in the streets by your darling. The look of anger in his eyes only dampened by his annoyance.

"It's like you don't even try to listen to me, dearest." He had hissed, crowding you back against a wall. "Tell me how I'm supposed to keep you safe when you insist on sneaking around and frolicking off to the worst parts of the city in the dead of night."

"I'm sorry." You dropped your gaze to the ground. "I just- get so bored sometimes…" Maybe if you blame yourself, your own poor impulse control, maybe that would satisfy him.

Instead he just laughed. A short, almost incredulous chuckle. "Oh, you're bored. I see, well of course that's all right then. By all means, throw yourself to the wolves then, my love. Since you're bored."

He grabbed your hands in his, muttering a quick spell, and you were home. You watched as he opened his eyes again and his shoulders relaxed. You were here and safe beside him again and he could breathe once more.

But still, "This was the fourth time in less than a month. What do I have to do to make you understand?" Astarion's grip on your hands tightened.

"You could just let me go…" You mumbled bitterly before you could think any better of it. The instant the words escaped your mouth you had regretted them.

His eyes darkened and he pulled you in closer. He brought one hand up to wrap around the back of your neck, holding you firmly in place. "We are not having this discussion again. You know you belong here."

"But if you would just let me out once in a while I wouldn't-"

"It only takes once, don't you get that?" He hissed, his fangs bared. "One person, just like me. Hiding in the shadows, waiting to strike. Do you understand how high profile you are? Do you not see other nobility out with their guards? They don't prowl the dingiest taverns they can find for good reason, my love."

"I can handle myself!" You snapped back. He was already angry, you were already screwed, how much worse could you possibly make it?

You watched countless emotions fly across his face before irritation settled. Truthfully, not the worst possibility. "I know that you're strong and capable. But it's been years since either of us have lived that kind of life. Those skills don't just stay sharp, you know that. You can hold your own against one, maybe two people. But what happens when you're surrounded? And you're alone, I don't know where you are, I can't help you. Do you not understand that I'm trying to protect you?" He spoke, almost as though he was trying to rationalize with a child.

In his defense you did huff like one. "So I'm meant to stay locked up here forever because you're afraid?" That was the wrong word to choose. The annoyed look fell into anger as he pulled you in even tighter.

"Yes." It was short and filled with a venom that shot a wave of fear down your spine. He so rarely called on his ability to compel you, but you felt the sensation begin to creep at the back of your mind. It felt like a spider climbing up your brain stem to weave it's web inside your skull.

"Astarion, please don't-"

"You are going to watch and listen. Do you understand? You are going to learn what is expected of you. And until you have, you will be obedient and silent. Am I clear, my darling?"

"Yes, my love." Were the words that came out of your mouth. They certainly weren't the ones you were intending, though. What do you mean? What are you talking about? What are you doing? All questions that were desperately trying to escape, but none came.

His face softened as he pulled his hand away from your neck to tuck a strand of hair behind your ear with a gentle smile. "There we are. I love you, you know? So much. I just… I don't know what I'd do without you."

~*~*~

For something you found so horrifying, Astarion was remarkably calm about what he'd done to you. "As irritating and, honestly, pathetic as he was, Gortash did manage to strike me with a touch of inspiration." He had explained as you helplessly smiled back at him.

"The magic he used against his parents was… clever, I'll say. It was terribly cruel of him to leave them like that, trapped in their own minds forever. You have to understand, that's not what I'm doing." He looked so sad, suddenly. He grabbed your hand in both of his and held tight and you felt your face drop to match his emotions.

"I love you. Please, trust me. You don't know this life like I do. You're so- so kind. So trusting and wonderful and lovely. And it's going to get you killed. This is only temporary. I can keep you safe like this while you learn what you need to. This life is politics and swindling and scheming. It's not heroics and good deeds. One day- one day I swear we'll go back but for now this is what must be done. Please just… just trust that I know what I'm doing. And that I love you."

You felt the cobwebs clear for a moment, brushed aside to give you a chance to speak again. He was giving you a choice, though you weren't entirely sure what either outcome was meant to be. You did trust him though, you loved him. And maybe he was right. You had no idea really what the life of this caliber was like. He had been of nobility his entire life. "I trust you."

You felt the cobwebs fill your head again as he smiled, so gently, so sweetly. So why did it make your stomach turn?

~*~*~

He never gave you any sort of timeline. You had expected it to take a few months though. He was training you, shaping you into the perfect little accessory to attach to his hip. It wasn't always horrible, especially at first when he would clear the cobwebs away at night to discuss how you were feeling and what you were learning.

It did feel a bit demeaning. He was your partner not your mother, after all. But you could tell how relaxed he was now that he wasn't worrying about you so much. And it was always easier to learn by doing, even if it wasn't technically you doing anything.

Still, you saw the way you responded to other nobles when they asked you things you had no clue about. Truthfully, you found yourself hoping Astarion might just do this for every big event you went to. The idea of trying to remember all of these names and titles and schemes was daunting. It'd be easier to keep him happy if he was practically speaking through you and it took a huge pressure off your shoulders.

It was when the people left that you began to have a problem. Even when it was just the two of you alone. He allowed the compulsion to drop less and less frequently. Some days you wondered if he'd forgotten it was there at all. You hated when he would spend his time talking with this fake perfect version of you.

Jealousy. It must be. And you felt so stupid for it too. It was still you, your voice and body. And, honestly, half the time the responses this fake you gave were the exact same ones you would've given anyway. So what did it matter so much?

It was frustrating not being able to control your own body. You missed being able to reach out and grab his hand whenever you wanted. There were a lot of things you missed. Most things, actually.

You missed kissing him. It's not that he didn't kiss you like this, or that you couldn't feel it. When he kissed you it just felt awful. Your stomach would churn and all you wanted to do was pull away. You honestly didn't even feel that terrible the time he had forgotten you were in there while you had sex. (Something he had apologized for profusely, long after you'd forgiven him.)

But the kisses were so tender and sweet and they were for someone who wasn't you. It was this fake you that he made for himself and you just couldn't stand it. Next time he dusted you off, you had made up your mind to ask him to stop.

If only you'd made that decision a touch sooner. It had already been over a week since you were last freed from your compulsion. As the days ticked by, you grew less and less confident that you would get the chance to ask.

It has been months already. You weren't entirely sure, but it must've been closing in on a year since he'd first started this project. It didn't feel like it but it was winter again so it must've been.

You kept hoping, every night when you went to bed you silently begged Astarion to hear you again, to let you out of your mind. He never seemed to hear you. Instead he would pepper you in kisses and speak to you like nothing was different.

Weeks turned to months. Every day that went by without being in control of your own body was beginning to take a toll on your mind.

Astarion's touch became less and less welcome until you wanted to shriek and tear at your own skin every time you felt him near you. You screamed and begged and agonized, hoping that if you could just yell loud enough maybe he would hear you.

He had forgotten about you. You became more and more certain with every evening spent on your back for him now. The first time he'd used you like that he was devastated. The idea that he'd had a change of heart was somehow even more crushing than being forgotten. You couldn't entertain that idea.

It made more sense that he'd forgotten you anyway. It had been so long, he'd gotten so used to you like this. He couldn't hear you screaming and thrashing inside your head. And when you were alone, he truly hadn't changed that much about you. Perhaps some of the comments you made were a touch closer to something he would say, but that really only served to push the real you further from his mind.

You had to accept it. You were trapped in your own mind, helpless against the man you adored. You were angry and frightened and so, so desperate to be free. It ached in your chest every time words that weren't yours escaped your lips. You raged every time you felt his touch on your skin. His kiss left you longing to tear out your hair and shriek until your throat burned.

You were truly, utterly helpless.

~*~*~

It was summer now. You were pretty sure, anyway. It was a bit hard to tell exactly when spring ended and summer began when you never saw the sun.

Astarion was hosting a rather large event that evening. You weren't entirely sure what it was for or why. You had stopped bothering to pay attention to these things once you realized it was no longer about learning how to engage with high brow politics. The you that had control would handle it anyway.

You were dressed in a lovely ball gown, a favorite of Astarion's. He liked the wide hoop skirt, it kept people from getting too close to you.

It was like any other stupid high end party. Food that was so decadent and rich you could barely eat any of it. Most of it would be thrown away. What a waste. One of the few thoughts you had as you essentially dissociated through the party.

Your body picked up a small hors d'oeuvre, delicately biting the bite sized snack in two. It was far too unbecoming to pop the entire thing into your mouth, despite it being shaped for exactly that.

"Any good?" A voice from behind you startled you and your false self out of your tiny food related thoughts.

The fake you recognized him first, as your mind still tried to bring the world back into focus. You felt yourself lunge forward, hoop skirt be damned, as you threw your arms around the person in front of you now. Somewhere in the back of your mind you found it extremely strange that fake you would be allowed to do such a thing.

When you finally pulled back, you were present enough to see who you were hugging and it, truthfully, made even less sense. "Gale!" You heard yourself as you bounced excitedly on the balls of your feet. "Why are you here?"

"Oh, it's a big event isn't it?" He grinned, patting you on the shoulder. "Should the famed Wizard of Waterdeep not receive such an illustrious invitation?" He laughed, taking a small step towards the food table. "No, Wyll was invited. He brought Karlach as a plus one. She told me and I pestered Astarion to invite the rest of us. He didn't tell you?"

That sounded about right. You couldn't help laughing. Gods you'd missed them all. "He didn't, but everyone else is here too?"

"Well, no. I got them an invite, that's the best I could do. Shadowheart and Halsin are around here somewhere. Who knows about anyone else." He said, filling up a plate with tiny snacks. A small part of you was happy at least someone was eating like a normal person.

"Come on then, and fill a plate for Karlach would you? I said I'd bring them all back something." Gale smiled back at you as he began filling another plate, presumably for Wyll.

"Have you seen Astarion yet?" Oh, that was a good question actually. At least fake you was thinking about your love.

Gale nodded, picking up the second plate. "He met us when we first got here. Honestly, I expected you to be with him. Barely had a moment to talk, though, before he got pulled away."

"Precisely why I'm not with him." You laughed, picking up the plate you'd made for Karlach. "An event like this is going to have him pulled twenty directions. I'm supposed to stay over here to watch over things but-" But? Fake you didn't argue with buts. How strange. The power of friendship perhaps? Or Astarion's attention being so split with such a large event was allowing even the perfect version of you he hand crafted to slip through the cracks. Either way, you weren't arguing. "Well, it'll be fine to slip away for a moment." Strange.

You followed Gale back to where Wyll and Karlach were standing just a bit too close as they chatted. They were both dressed to the nines, Wyll in a well fitted suit with a short, ornamental cape draped over one shoulder. Karlach was putting him to shame though, in a floor length strapless dress with a slit that traveled halfway up her thigh. You'd never taken Karlach for a dress person and, watching the way she awkwardly moved in it, you'd assume you were right. That didn't stop anyone with eyes from stopping and staring as she walked by. You even found your own gaze lingering a bit too long. Very strange.

"Hey, soldier!" Her voice rang out loud and clear as soon as she spotted you. Before you knew it, you were wrapped in her arms and lifted off the floor with ease. You couldn't help laughing as you carefully tried to keep the plate of food balanced.

Your skirt swished back into place as she set you down, beaming at you. "It's been way too long. Just because you can't go out in the sun doesn't mean Astarion has to lock you away in the dungeon." She laughed again. If only she knew.

"I was surprised I even got an invite." Wyll chuckled, stepping closer. "I don't play his political games, but I'm happy to enjoy some good food with some old friends." Gods he was so sweet. If you didn't know just how genuinely he meant it, you wouldn't trust him.

"Well, I'm certainly happy to see all of you!" It's been so lonely cooped up in here, I've missed you so much. Your lungs longed to scream out to them, to beg them for help.

It was enough they'd taken you away from your post, you knew it was too much to ask for your voice to break through as well. It didn't stop you from wishing with your whole heart for your friends to hear you.

Instead, you had a pleasant conversation about what they've all been up to. Stories of the adventures Karlach and Wyll had been on, an anecdote about Tara that made everyone laugh. Halsin and, later, Shadowheart found their way into the circle, bringing their own stories. It would've been lovely were you not begging to be heard.

Karlach noticed first, of course she did. You saw it happen. You weren't sure what did it exactly but, as you were speaking, you saw her brow knit together. She watched you a bit closer. Fake you must've noticed as well, you felt yourself straighten up a bit more, talk a bit gentler.

It wasn't enough, she'd clocked something and now she was watching. The conversation shifted away from you but her gaze lingered. The you in control longed for her to look away, while the real you screamed for her attention. I'm here, please see me, gods please hear me!

You felt her watching you for at least ten minutes before she leaned in to whisper something to Gale. Oh gods, now he was watching you like a hawk. They both knew something was wrong but they couldn't tell what.

If you hadn't been watching them, you would've missed the small hand gesture and whispered incantation from the wizard. You didn't feel anything but clearly he didn't get what he wanted.

Then you felt it. A small tingling sensation in your head then, suddenly, it was as though the doors to your mind had been thrown open and you felt yourself recoil as though sunlight was pouring in. He was digging into your thoughts.

"Gale!?" You called out desperately in your head, watching as he blinked in shock. The gentle, practiced smile that remained stuck on your face completely opposed to the desperation he heard in your voice.

"Are you all right?" He asked, out loud, much to everyone else's confusion. Particularly Halsin's, who had been actively speaking when Gale interrupted.

"Gale, please! You can hear me?" Your mind screamed.

"Oh, me? Oh, I'm fine." Your mouth replied.

"I can hear you. What's going on?" Gale pressed forward, ignoring the questioning looks he received.

"Um, Gale-" Wyll had started but the wizard was disinterested in interrupting whatever connection he had with you right now.

"Gale, gods, Gale." What could you even say? You had to say something. But how could you explain this? You knew they all disapproved of the way Astarion kept you squirreled away but they never argued because you were both happy and it really wasn't exactly their business. But this? This was different. This was… well. Fucked up.

He was smart though. It didn't exactly take much to put two and two together. Two different answers, two different versions of his dear friend. "What happened? Does Astarion know about this?"

You would've flinched had you been in control of your body. "Really, Gale, I'm all right, I'm not sure what you're talking about." You still smiled warmly.

"He- he's the one who did this but-!" You panicked as you watched a darkness take over Gale's face.

"Okay, does anyone know what's going on right now?" Wyll tried to interject again, only to be met with a misdirected scowl from Gale.

"It would seem our resident vampire lord has gone a bit too far." He practically spat. He had never been overly fond of your relationship in the first place. You were never sure but Astarion was certain it was jealousy - partially why you were so surprised to see Gale had been invited at all.

"Use your words, Elminster." Karlach folded her arms, already impatient to know what was happening.

Gale turned back to you as his anger turned towards sadness. "I don't know how, but he's puppeting them. This-" He waved a hand at your calm, relaxed smile. "This is all fake. I can hear them, they're trapped in there."

"Gale, please, don't get angry, please." You were trying to do damage control now. You didn't want this to break bad for Astarion, you just wanted to be let out. "I- I just think he might've forgotten me, if you just-"

"Forgot you!? What do you mean forgot you? How long have you been in there?"

"Gale! Please don't cause a fuss, please. This- this doesn't have to affect the night. He just needs a reminder, that's all, it's all right."

"How long."

"I… I don't know. Over a year…" You knew saying that would be a bad idea. The rage took over his face again, while the rest of your companions watched with varying levels of confusion.

"Over a year." His voice was flat, his typical affectations and charming cadence gone. "Would someone be so kind as to request the presence of Lord Ancunín? I think we need to have quite the conversation."

[beep-beep-sunny]

I added two new chapters to My Daddy Likes Boys a fic about Eddie Kaspbrak's son trying to get him together with his teacher, Mr. Tozier.

Read on ao3 or below!

Chapter 1: Two daddies?? Cool!

My daddy likes boys. I don't know why that's such a big deal. I'm not a dummy. I understand that they don't mean he likes boys just as friends like me and Hank from my class. Otherwise, mommy and daddy wouldn't have broked up. I get it. It's about in love. Like Aladdin and Jasmine. They aren't both boys, but that's okay. I'm sure there are other examples of boys I'm just not thinking of.

Mommy already sees other boys. Daddy comes to watch me when she goes on her "dates" and we watch Bluey on TV or play hungry hungry hippos. Daddy is great at games, but I'm better because I always win. Still, daddy deserves to play games with someone he can beat. Someone he can go on "dates" with. Maybe on a magic carpet. Daddy likes cars, and that's a very cool and special kinda car. I wanna ride on one. Maybe if daddy's boyfriend has a magic carpet I can ride in the backseat and fly up high. That would be cool. That would be super cool.

I started kindergarten in the Fall. I'm in Mr. Tozier's class. He wears funny, colorful shirts and does voices that make me laugh a lot. When we learned about animals he made all the sounds. My favorite was when he made the goose sound. Mr. Tozier is the coolest.

And a boy.

And daddy likes boys.

Then I had an idea. My daddy and Mr. Tozier could be in love! That's a great perfect idea. I just needed to find a way to get daddy and Mr. Tozier to talk. When they talked they would obviously instantly fall in love because they are both awesome and fun and they both love me. It would be the greatest thing to have two daddies!!

I started small. Daddy tells me every day that I'm brave and I decided to prove it. I made sure Mr. Tozier was close and I climbed up higher in the jungle gym than I had ever climbed. The other kids watched and some waved and giggled. By the time Mr. Tozier noticed how high I climbed and started running towards me, it was too late. I bent my knees like a frog. Mr. Tozier saying ribbit ribbit popping into my head as I hopped off the roof (where I definitely wasn't supposed to be) and fell hard onto the ground.

Plop

I yelled and yelled and yelled some more. How was I supposed to know it would hurt THAT much. Mr. Tozier reached me quickly with his kind blue eyes twisted up in worry. "Frankie!" He yelped. "How'd you even get up there?" He was concerned, but I couldn't help but notice he also sounded impressed. This was going perfectly according to plan even though my arm hurt a whole lot.

Mr. Tozier carried me to the nurse's office. "I'm gonna call your parents, okay? Just sit tight buddy." I made a froggy sound and his worry melted away just long enough to do an, admittedly much better, froggy sound.

He rushed out the door. Oh no. "Call my daddy!" I shouted after him, hoping it was loud enough. My voice was usually louder, but my arm hurt too much! I waited to let my tears fall down my cheeks for after Mr. Tozier left. He probably thought I was very brave. Mr. Tozier and daddy will talk about how brave I am all day long until they fall in love.

Daddy didn't come. Mr. Tozier must not have heard me. When I saw mommy come through the door with her arms stretched out like she was ready to clean my dirty cheek with her spit, I cringed a bit and then started crying. This time it wasn't from the pain. Well, it wasn't just from the pain. This was going to be harder than I thought.

Chapter 2: Frankie's Big Break

had a lot of time to plan my next move while I was at the doctor then at home. My arm was broken and got put in a huge cast. It's so hard and heavy. I drummed on the wall with it when mommy wasn't looking, she always told me to stop even though it made the best sound.

That made me think of my next idea. I couldn't keep getting hurt and going right to the hospital. I'd be off too much school and all my bones would be in casts until I couldn't move. I can't make Mr. Tozier and my daddy fall in love like that! I need at least one limb free!

When I got back to school, all the kids wanted to talk to me and sign my cast. I noted that I'd let Hank sign it first, after I talked to Mr. Tozier. Unless Mr. Tozier wanted to sign it first. Then he could. Sorry Hank.

Mr. Tozier sat at a big desk with papers all over the top. I could just see over it. He looked down at me, looking over his big thick glasses. He must have a really hard time seeing with glasses that big. My eyes are perfect, everyone says so, but daddy probably doesn't care about perfect eyes. I tried to focus.

“Frankie?” Mr. Tozier said. “What is it?”

“Next time I get in trouble, can you call my daddy instead of my mommy?” I said. I thought if I was as obvious as possible that he would definitely get it right next time.

Mr. Tozier's brow furrowed. “Well, you weren't in trouble, Frankie, but why do you want me to call your daddy? Is something going on at home?”

I really thought about it. No, not really. Home has been kinda boring. Daddy always looks sad when I'm with him, but mommy always has boys around all the time. I just want my daddy to be happy too. Not with lots of boys though, just Mr. Tozier. I didn't like getting used to lots and lots of new boys because some of them smell funny and have weird mustaches.

“Frankie?” Mr. Tozier asked. Oops, I'd been thinking too much.

“No.” I said quickly and walked away. I didn't even remember to ask him to sign my cast. I guess Hank could do it first after all.

After all the kids got done signing my cast with lots of cool things, Hank drew a dinosaur, I went to work. I knew daddy would definitely come if I was in danger, but it didn't work the first time. I decided I had to do something different. I had to get in trouble.

It happened at recess. Mr. Tozier was watching everybody, but I wanted to make sure he was watching me. I took a big breath in and let out a loud scream. Mr. Tozier looked up but so did everybody else. I'd have to explain why I was doing it to all my lots of friends later. They'd understand. With all my might, I pushed over the big wood play kitchen and all the kids playing house ran away. The play plates hit the ground over and over one at a time. It sounded like rain.

Mr. Tozier rushed over. Yay! “Is everyone okay?” The other kids nodded. When he looked at me, he didn't look mad. He looked worried. That made me worried too.

He took me to the place I go to when I get off my bus and had me sit in the big plush chair. Once he was in the other room, I got up and pressed my ear to the door. He was talking to somebody. I think on the phone.

“I think something might be going on at home.” Mr Tozier said. I sighed. Not really. Just call my daddy. Say I'm in big trouble. “Oh, a divorce? That's gotta be tough on him.” It wasn't tough at all! What was tough was getting my daddy and Mr. Tozier in one room. Ugh!

Chapter 3: Why Does Everybody Ask if I'm Okay??

How was I supposed to know they'd just make me talk to some lady? That is not what I wanted at all.

“Frankie,” She said gently like she was talking to a puppy. I'm not a puppy. “Can you please tell me how things have been at home?”

“Why does everybody keep asking me that!” I knew it wasn't polite to shout, but I was getting so frustrated! “Sorry, things are just fine. I'm happy.”

Even though I told her I'm happy she still looked sad. What was going on? “Are you happy when you're with your mommy?”

I felt a big frown on my face. “Yeah, I guess!” I folded my arms. Things were fine. Mommy was just kind of boring sometimes. She just wanted me to dress up nice and be polite. I was so sick of always being so polite.

“What about your daddy?” She asked.

I smiled. “Well, daddy is the best. We play games and watch TV but he's lonely and needs a boyfriend like my mommy has.”

The lady's eyebrows raised up like they were gonna bump into her hair. “A boyfriend?” She asked. “Maybe you mean a girlfriend.”

I rolled my eyes. “No! My daddy likes boys!’’

Talking to that lady was so pointless. She didn't even help me with how to get Mr. Tozier and my daddy together. I hoped I never had to see that lady ever again.

My mommy drove me home and fussed with my hair when she buckled me in. “What did you say to the nice lady?” She asked me.

“I told her daddy likes boys.” I explained, getting a little tired of always having to explain myself.

Mommy's eyebrows did the same thing as the lady. It's a little silly for her to be surprised. I knew she knew that already. She didn't say much else. She just got in the front seat and drove us home.

When Daddy came to pick me up the next day, I was so excited. It was the weekend and Daddy always planned a fun activity. I wanted to see the new Sonic movie and get lots of popcorn.

It was taking mommy and daddy a really long time to come get me in my room, so I hopped off my bed and sat on the top of the stairs looking down at them through the bars. They looked upset. They had angry eyebrows and folded up arms.

“You told him about your little perversion?” Mommy said. I didn't know what that meant, but what did daddy tell me about? Maybe about the big black cats at the zoo.

Daddy held up his hands. “No, I didn't tell him anything about that. I don't know how he found out.” Maybe not about the big cats after all.

“Well, tell him you don't. Tell him you like women like you're supposed to.” I opened my eyes really wide. Was this about daddy liking boys? What's the big deal! Mommy likes boys too!

“Daddy can like boys if he wants to!” I ran down the stairs to stand up tall next to daddy.

They both looked down at me with their mouths hanging open. Close your mouths, gosh! “It's not normal.” Mommy said in a calm voice. I was so sick of people talking to me like a puppy or a baby or something.

I held out my hand. “Daddy, I wanna go.” I didn't feel like talking about this. I had important things to do.

Daddy looked down at me, surprised. Mommy looked mad. They looked at each other for a few seconds before daddy grabbed my hand and we started walking out. I smiled wide.

“Wait!” Mommy called after us, but we didn't stop or look back.

We were gonna have a wonderful, awesome time watching Sonic and eating popcorn and then after that I would think about my next plan. Daddy and Mr. Tozier were gonna be happy if it was the last thing I did!

[that1emowitch]

Suit Shopping

Prompt by @shinekocreator : "Hear me out: the batsiblings going suit shopping with Dick. Fluffy engaged birdflash. Maybe something around planning the wedding. Also some batsiblings being siblings"

A/N: I had a random burst of inspiration at 10 pm and suddenly wrote this whole this lol

Words: 3006

LMK IF I SHOULD MAKE A PART 2!

TW: None, I think. It's all pretty fluffy. Lmk if I missed smth

“I still think he’ll look prettier in purple,” Steph holds up her phone, showing an image of a bright purple suit. “Like, look at that! All it needs is some glitter.”

“Tt.” Damian scowls at her. “Everyone knows weddings are supposed to be black-and-white.”

“Yeah, the purple looks like the Joker,” Jason points out, nodding. “But hear me out: Red.”

Damian shouts again in protest, basically jumping on Jason. The two start fighting, pulling each-other’s hair and yelling.

“You sure you want them to help, Rob?” Wally shakes his head, his arms wrapped around Dick’s waist as the pair stands just a few feet away, looking at the Bats trying to kill each other.

Dick sighed, resting his head on his boyfriend— no, fiance’s shoulder. “They’re not really giving me a choice, honestly. But this’ll be fun, I’m sure!”

Wally chuckles. “Yeah, Bart and Barry are insisting to come shopping with me, too. So is Iris, actually.” He pulls away from Dick after placing a sweet kiss on his lips. “I’d better get going. Have fun!”

“You too!” Dick smiles as he watches his beloved speed off— he is the fastest man alive, after all. Then Cass walks up to him, gesturing to Damian, Steph, and Jason, then pushing her right hand towards the webbed part of her left in the sign for “annoying”.

He just chuckles, shaking his head. “Just have to wait for Duke and Tim, now, huh?”

Cass smiles and points behind him— where Duke has just entered the living room through the Batcave. “Hey, D,” He waves his hand in greeting as he walks up to them. He gives Damian and Jason— the latter of who is now pinning the younger against a wall with a gun raised— a long look. “What is going on?”

Cass just makes the “annoying” ASL sign again.

“DUKE!” Steph suddenly jumps on him, wrapping an arm around his shoulders. “I am so glad you’re here, you’re the only sensible one in this house! Which color do you think Dick’s suit should be?”

She shows him three photos— one exquisite, expensive purple suit made of leather, and two cheap thrift-store black and red suits.

Duke hesitates, carefully extracting himself from the blonde. “Uhh… Don’t you think Dick should decide? It is his wedding.”

“Thank you,” Dick says, pulling Duke closer. 

“Heathens, all of you,” Steph shakes her head, disappointed.

That’s when Tim finally enters through the front door— being carried by Kon. Tim quickly jumps out of Kon’s arms, beet red, when he realizes his siblings are already here, and watching. Jon trails after the pair, instantly brightening up when he sees Damian.

Damian stops fighting with Jason just to greet Jon. Suddenly, the young Super flies into Damian, wrapping himself around the Bat, yapping away excitedly.

Everyone in the room freezes.

Oh no, poor Jon is so dead… Dick thinks.

Then.

Damian awkwardly raises his arm and pats Jon on the back, half-hugging him.

Jon pulls away in a second then runs to Dick. “Is it true? You’re getting married? How does it work? Are you excited? Where’s your ring? When’s the wedding? Are you gonna have a b—”

“Woah, woah there!” Dick laughs a little, showing off his ring— a thin gold strand with a Robin on it. “Yeah, I’m engaged to Wally. You know, Flash.” 

“WOAH…” Jon’s eyes are wide with awe. Damian pulls him away, tutting. 

“Tt. You must be real naive if you don’t know how weddings work.”

“Whatever, man, I just wanna go to the mall.” Jon smiles and shrugs. 

Dick smiles back, proud of his Baby Bat for making a good friend. “So,” He claps his hands, getting everyone’s attention. “None of us will be flying to the mall, just FYI. Now, there’s 9 of us here, but one car can only fit five, so we’ll need to take two cars.”

“Um, actually,” Jason stood, twirling keys on his fingers. “I’m taking my motorbike. And only Blondie’s allowed to come with.”

“But this is a family bonding opportunity, Jay!” Dick protested. “We can all—”

“I have a bike,” Kon said suddenly, looking at Tim hopefully. “I can just fly back and get it here. Then we can— uh…”

Tim blushes. “Yeah, yeah, that’d be perfect.”

Kon flashes a smile, and flies out the window.

Dick sighs. I guess that leaves no other choice.

“Okay, the rest of you, come on,” Dick heads to the garage, watching with a soft smile as Damian, Jon, Duke, and Cass pile into his car. While Jon and Damian bicker over who called shotgun first, Cass quietly slips into the passenger seat.

God, Dick loves his sister.

He flashes her a smile, letting her turn the radio to a station to one that plays 60’s ballroom music— she loves music with no words.

He hears the moment the boys realize Cass has taken the seat— they fall quiet, and get into the back, squeezing against Duke, who was peacefully sitting by the window.

He grins, hands on the steering wheel, ready to set off.

They all meet again in the mall’s carpark. Jason and Steph are discussing something about the parking being ridiculously overpriced, Damian’s explaining to Duke how cars work (Duke’s trying hard not to say “I know”), Cass is still listening to ballroom music, Kon’s encouraging Jon to get piercings…

“This is the quietest they’ve all been together, isn’t it?” Tim pipes up from beside Dick, making the older man jump.

“Jesus— Tim, how’re you so quiet?” Dick took a breath to steady himself.

“Years of stalking Batman and Robin paid off, I guess,” He shrugs. “I need coffee.”

Before Dick can reply, Tim walks towards the others, and shouts, “Okay, people. Here’s how it’s gonna go:”

Dick’s brows furrow. “Wait, you’re planning this—”

“There are too many stores, and not enough time. So we’ll split up into groups, find and buy any and all suits we like— in size M, or US 40—”

“—You know my size?”

“—forget about the price, Bruce is paying, and meet back at McDonald’s at 6pm. Jason and Steph, go with Dick to the east wing of the mall. Cass and Duke, go to the west wing. Kon and I will take the north, Damian and Jon to the south. Got that?”

Dick was stunned for a second when everyone easily agreed and split up— they must’ve discussed this before. Slightly dazed, he let Jason and Cass lead him away, to the east entrance of the mall.

Damian walks through the mall, heading straight to the information desk, where a directory of all stores is put up. His eyes scan the shop names and their descriptions, analyzing each one. After all, Grayson deserves the best of the best.

Suddenly Jon appears beside him, vibrating with enthusiasm. “Where do we go first?”

“Nordstrom.” Damian replies, his eyes landing on the name of the store. “Anything there will easily outshine every suit any of the others manage to find.”

“Oooh, that sounds so fancy!” Jon’s eyes widen in awe.

“It is. Not that a farmboy like you could understand it.” Damian turns to face Jon.

“At least I’m not a crazy trust fund kid who’s going to buy, like, 20 suits just so Dick has plenty of choices,” Jon shoots back, undeterred.

“At least I’m not a 12-year-old who thinks math is hard.” 

“At least I don’t have Mommy or Daddy issues.”

"At least I'm a man of great intelligence and taste, while you are a farmboy that talks to birds."

"Hey, those birds were awesome... and at least I talk to them... you just sit around being brooding and quiet. The most noise you make is when you're complaining."

“At least I am not a naive boy who thinks the world is sunshine and rainbows!”

Jon crosses his arms. "Yeah, and at least I'm not a brooding snob who's afraid to express his feelings, so he hides behind sarcasm and snarky comments." 

That one shuts Damian up. 

“So,” Jon puts up a radiant smile again, hand pointing into the air. “To Nordstrom!”

“It’s right there.” Damian points behind Jon.

Jon moves so he’s pointing towards the store. “To Nordstrom!”

Tim and Kon’s hands find each other as soon as they part with the rest of the group— enjoying this feeling of being so close to one another. They head straight to the first clothes store they find, searching around for a suit.

“Hey, Tim,” Kon calls, picking up a red and blue Superboy-themed crop top, complete with leather lining and metal studs. “This would look cute on you.”

Tim blushes. “Kon, we’re looking for a suit!”

“But just buy this too,” Kon encourages, smirking. “Trust me. I can really imagine you in this.”

“And nothing else.” The words escape Tim’s mouth before he can think, and he suddenly slaps his free hand over his mouth. “Um, forget that. Please.”

Kon’s cheeks turn slightly red, but he puts the top in their shopping basket anyway. “So. Um. Suits.”

“Yes,” Tim says awkwardly “Suits.”

The two find a section of the store for formal clothing soon enough, and start rummaging around for something Dick might like.

Everything seems wrong— too formal, too stiff, too not Dick.

“What if we buy a few of these suits, then paint them?” Kon suggests.

Tim turns to face him, thinking. “Good idea, but the only one of us that can paint well is Damian— and we’re competing against him.”

Kon’s brows raise. “Wait, we’re competing against Damian?”

“We’re competing against every other ‘team’ we split up in,” Tim explains, skimming through racks of blue-gray suits. “Damian and Jon, Duke and Cass, Steph and Jason.”

“Oh,” Kon nodded along. “So, how does it work?”

“We all find the best suits possible and present them to Dick, and the team whose suit Dick picks wins.”

“And Dick has no idea about this competition.”

“Helps him be a neutral judge.”

“Uh-huh,” Kon chuckles. “You Bats and your secrecy…”

“Coffee,” Tim says suddenly, turning to leave the store. “We’re not gonna find anything here. Might as well get some coffee. On me.”

Kon smiles, taking Tim’s hand again. “As you wish, babe.”

Then his eyes widen. “Wait, we have to buy the tank top first!”

Duke watches as his sister prances around the store, looking at the different dresses. They’re in a designer boutique (whose manager didn’t believe they were actually here to buy something until they flashed Bruce’s credit card). 

He chuckles as Cass picks up a soft pink dress, holding it to herself and standing before the mirror. “It looks lovely, really.”

Cass smiles, and gives it to the manager to add to their cart, just like the many other dresses she did so with before. It doesn’t matter that they’re here to buy a suit— if Cass likes something along the way, she can very well buy it.

Then she finds another princess gown— this time, pastel purple, with shiny sequins and sparkles.

“Yeah, Steph’s gonna love seeing you in that,” Duke grins teasingly. Cass blushes sightly, then hands it over to the manager.. 

“Also, where are your best suits? Something flashy, not formal and plain.” He asks one of the assistants. 

“Oh, yes, I’m sure yellow and black would look great on you, Mr. Thomas,” The assistant replies politely, starting to lead them to a corner.

Duke tries not to cringe at the mention of him in black and yellow. “Um, it’s for my brother, actually. We have his measurements, but is it possible to get it custom-made without him actually being here? It’s a bit of a surprise.”

“Of course,” The assistant nods, leading them to a row of racks filled with rolled-up sheets of fabric. “It would take longer, but you can custom-pick every piece of fabric, every decoration, even talk to our design specialist to make it perfect. It would usually take a few weeks, but for you, we can get it done in just two days, I’m sure.”

Cass walks up to them. “Blue.”

“Of course.”

“Like the night sky. With shining stars, if that’s possible.” Duke adds.

“Do have a chat with the design specialist I mentioned, Mr. Thomas and Ms. Wayne.” The assistant smiles politely. “Shall I check out the six dresses you bought, meanwhile?”

Duke nods, smiling. “Yes, please.”

This was definitely going to be better than the others’ suits.

Steph pulls Dick along by the hand as they both laugh, running through the clothes store. Jason walks behind them, clearly amused but pretending to not care.

“OOOH, pick this!” Steph shoves another bright purple suit into Dick’s hands. He gives her a look. 

“Steph… I don’t like purple! I want something blue!” Dick looks around, making sure no one’s eavesdropping, hen whispers, “Nightwing blue!”

Steph pouts. “What do you think, Jason?”

“Red.” Jason replies, looking through some suits. “But if we wanna win, we gotta give him what he wants.”

Steph frowns slightly, but agrees.

“Wait, wait, wait,” Dick holds his hands in front of them. “What do you mean ‘win’?”

Both of them freeze. Then Steph replies awkwardly, “Uh, win your heart, of course!”

“Yeah,” Jason adds, his tone dry. “Prove we’re your best siblings ever.”

Dick blinks. “Steph’s not a sibling. She’s dating our sister and she used to date our brother.”

“Potato, Potatoh,” Steph puts on the fakest smile ever, steering Dick away towards the blue-coloured suits. He goes along, confused.

As they peruse through the suits, Steph and Jason exchange glances, silently communicating their plan. They need to find the perfect Nightwing blue suit to win Dick over. They scan through the racks, occasionally holding up a suit for Dick to inspect. 

“This one?” Steph asks, holding up a suit that's more on the navy side.

“Nah, too dark,” Dick shakes his head.

“What about this one?” Jason suggests, pointing to a suit that's a bit too light.

“Too bright,” Dick dismisses it.

The trio continues their search, but nothing seems to meet Dick's standards. Steph starts to feel a little anxious— they need to find something soon if they want to win the competition. Just as she's about to suggest going to another store, Jason spots a suit tucked away in the corner.

“Hey, check this out,” Jason calls out, pulling out a suit in the perfect shade of Nightwing blue. It's sleek, stylish, and has just the right amount of sophistication.

Dick's eyes light up as he examines the suit. “This... this is it.”

Steph grins triumphantly. “I knew we'd find the perfect one!”

Jason nods in agreement. “Let's grab it before someone else snatches it.”

They quickly make their way to the checkout counter, excitement bubbling within them. As they pay for the suit, Jason can't help but feel a sense of satisfaction. Not only did they find the ideal suit for Dick, but they're also one step closer to winning the competition.

With the suit in hand, they head towards the designated meeting spot at McDonald's, eager to show off their find and see what the others have come up with.

The group rendezvouses at a particularly large booth in the mall’s McDonald’s just at 6 pm. Everyone’s carrying shopping bags— Damian and Jon are carrying three each. They settle into the booth, arranging themselves comfortably, excitement evident in their expressions.

Dick, seated at the head of the table, can hardly contain his curiosity. “Alright, everyone, let's see what you've got!”

“Not right now!” Duke shouts suddenly, and Cass nods along. “Cass and I have customized the perfect suit for you but it’s going to take two days to make, so, just to be fair, we’ll present our find in two days.”

Damian scowls. “Why should we waste our time over your fault?”

“It’s not a fault, it’s a—”

“It’s not fair,” Tim chimes in. “We spent so long—”

“GUYS! Guys,” Dick interrupts them before the argument gets too heated. “This is my suit, so I make the rules. I choose that we wait for Duke and Cass’s suit to be ready. I kinda wanna see it.”

Duke leans back, relieved, and Cass wears a smug smile on her face, as if saying, “Ha, I win!”

It makes Dick wonder, again, what exactly the competition is about.

“Well, let’s at least get some food, if we’re not doing show and tell,” Kon speaks up after a long beat of silence. Everyone agrees (for the first time ever), and place their orders quickly.

Once their orders arrive, they dig into their meals eagerly, savoring the taste of fast food after a long day of shopping. Dick watches with a fond smile as his family enjoys their meal, feeling grateful for their presence in his life.

After they finish eating, Dick leans back in his seat, feeling content. “So, what now? Do we head back home?”

“Nah,” Jason shakes his head. “Let’s catch a movie or something. There’s that new action flick playing at the cinema.”

Steph’s eyes light up. “Ooh, that sounds fun! I’m in!”

“I’m down,” Tim adds, nodding in agreement.

“I suppose it could be entertaining,” Damian mutters, though there’s a hint of excitement in his voice.

Jon looks around eagerly. “Can I come too?”

Kon slings an arm around his shoulders and pulls him away. “Nah, not this time. Let’s leave the Bats to their boring plans— you and I can go get you some piercings!”

“Um,” Jon pauses, hesitating. “Mom and Dad will not be happy, Kon.”

Kon just smirks and ruffles his little brother’s hair. “I know. Pissing off Clark to make you cool— It’s gonna be so worth it!”

The pair walks away from the Bats, waving goodbye, after Kon places one last kiss on Tim’s lips. The Bats leave soon, too, heading down to the cinema, arguing over who the best Green Lantern is, for some reason— and Hal Jordan’s currently winning over Guy Gardener.

Dick laughs and shakes his head, listening to their banter.

God, he loves his family.

LMK IF I SHOULD MAKE A PART 2

[effy-writes]

Addict (Blitz x Reader)

15: Exes and Oohs: Fucking Crack House

@d4rkprdise

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Loona sat at her desk and immediately got on her phone. Moxxie came in and sat across from you and greeted.

"You know, I checked the scale today. And it said I lost two pounds this week."

Loona looks at Moxxie, then rolls her eyes back to her phone, much to his annoyance.

"I. am not. FAT! Y/n do you think i'm fat?"

"No, you're the skinniest one out of all of us."

"Was that sarcasm?" He frowned.

You chuckled, "No. I'm being serious. Loona and Blitz are assholes." You whispered.

You and Moxxie jerked when the front door got kicked down by Millie. She stomps around, mumbling angrily.

"Ooh! Such a fucking asshole! That little motherfucker. I just wanna take my finger up and shove it up his fuckin' little thing!"

"Millie, honey. Is everything okay?"

Millie hisses back at Moxxie in response, disturbing him even more, but she manages to calm down.

"Yeah. Just...bumped into an ex." Her tail twitches.

"Oh! Oh..." Moxxie frowned.

"He just kept going on about how he has money now, "a bright future," and "a bigger cock"."

"Wait, what?"

You busted out laughing, "Sorry for laughing, it's just your reaction was so fucking funny to me."

"Well I'm glad I can make you laugh." He said with sarcasm.

"Every time I see his stupid face, I can't help it! I just need to—" Millie punched a filing cabinet, papers went everywhere.

"What the fuck is all this noise? I got a client!" Blitz yelled out.

"Sorry, sir. I'll get this all cleaned up. Actually Y/n you do it, aren't you still the janitor?"

"Technically, yeah."

You gathered the papers and looked at it closely. "Blitz?" You laughed. It was a photo of two imps making out in a horse costume.

Moxxie picks another stack of paper. "This one has a cutout picture of Y/n's face on the horse."

"Wait what?" You took the paper and looked at it. "Blitz!"

"Uh, research! For science! Just put it back correctly, okay? Alphabetize them." Blitz went back to his office.

You and Moxxie looked at the remaining of the pile. "This is mostly porn. And horses." You chuckled.

"And horse porn." Moxxie cocked his head.

Blitz ran out of the office and looked through the window.

"What the fuck is that?" Blitz yelled out.

A helicopter shoots a grappling hook under the window, breaking the wall. Loona looks on without a word.

"Satan's ass crack! Enough with the wall shit, we have a door!" He groaned.

With the damaged walls, a wind gusts through the office and distributes all the photos Blitz had been saving across the town.

"My research!" He whined, "Dammit Y/n and Mox, you were supposed to put them up!"

"Sorry sir, we were just so...intrigued." Moxxie glanced at you, both snickering.

The helicopter approaches Blitz, creating a bridge for them to walk upon, and the pilot steps out.

"I.M.P? Right this way, please!"

"Uh, sir?" Moxxie points a gun toward the pilot, while Millie holds her knife out.

You grabbed your metal rod and held it like a baseball bat, "What's going on?"

"Now, don't worry! It's just some fancy shmuck from Greed wanting to do business with us."

"Uh, sir? I don't think this is a good idea." Moxxie said with hesitation.

"It'll be fine. Now, get your asses moving." Blitz pushes M&M into the helicopter, grabbing your hand and helped you into the helicopter. Why is he nice to me all of a sudden? You sat beside of Blitz and buckled yourself, holding onto the seat for extra caution.

The pilot proceeded to take out a huge chunk of a wall as they fly off.

The four imps looked at the scenery, flying over an under construction of Loo Loo Land, all the way to "Notamafia Town."

"I hate this place." Moxxie said with a disdained groan.

"Oh, yeah. This is your old stomping ground, isn't it, Mox?"

"Yeah, unfortunately. I grew up just over there, swore I'd never come back, and— uh uh— what— what, where are we going?" He panicked. The helicopter starts changing direction, as Moxxie grows more and more anxious.

"What— Blitz, who did you say this meeting was with?"

"I'm not sure, just some rich somebody or other who wants to do biz at his place."

"How come the client didn't come to I.M.P?" You questioned.

Blitz shrugged, "Beats me."

As the helicopter lands, Moxxie became more and more stressed out.

"Oh, no, no! No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, NO!"

"Moxxie calm down." You said as you were the first one to step out.

Moxxie shivers in place, Blitz pushed him out of the helicopter following Millie.

The client had his arms open, "There's my boy! Get over here and give your daddy a hug!"

"Daddy?" The three imps questioned.

"I only let Moxxie call me that. Unless you pay me!"

"It is uncanny. You two do look a like." You acknowledge, glancing from Moxxie’s dad and Moxxie.

"Guys, um," Moxxie cleared his throat, "this is my father, Crimson. Sir, this is my boss, Blitz, Blitz's maybe girlfriend, Y/n? And my—

"—Millie! I'm his wife!"

Millie takes her hand to greet Crimson.

You whispered to Blitz, "Maybe girlfriend?"

"He's still tweaking whenever we all were hallucinating."

You didn't really mind being called Blitz's "Maybe girlfriend," You don’t even know what you guys are.

"And what a beautiful wife you are. Mox, where have you been hiding this pretty little thang?"

"Oh, I'm sure he would've introduced us.. eventually."

"Oh, I'm sure. You got to be Blitz, with the silent "o", right? I've heard a lot of good things about you and your work."

"Really?" He turned to Moxxie, "What kind of shit has Moxxie been spreading about me? I'll fucking kill you Moxxie, don't you fucking test me!"

"No, no! From all over. Looks like you're building a bit of a name for yourself here, kid."

"Well, I guess it's about time folks recognized my talent." He bragged. Crimson turned his attention towards you.

"I haven't heard much from you. What brought you to work as an assassin?"

You cleared your throat. "Originally I was a janitor but I was forced to get promoted...sorta."

"Well I kill-...fired my last maid. So I may need your help." He winked. "Well, I hope you're all hungry. We put together a fabulous dinner for you."

"Did he just say killed?" You whispered to Blitz.

Everyone followed Crimson into his house. Millie and Moxxie were speaking to themselves that you couldn't make out of.

I.M.P. sat in the living room. You scanned the place, feeling weird about being in here. The environment looked like the one you were at after you ran away from the circus. Even though the original house you stayed at was much smaller, it was just the same eerie feeling that you felt.

Crimson poured you and Blitz a drink. "So, Blitz, ya always been a hitman?"

"No, no, not always. Yeah, I was in the circus for a long time. That's how I met Y/n."

"Show business! Good money in that. And I wouldn't have ever known you were in the circus? Why did you quit to be a janitor?"

"Ah you know...life?" You and Blitz took a quick exchange.

Moxxie turned to Blitz, "What are we doing here?"

"Moxxie, I raised you better than that. Ya know there's no business before dinner. Besides, we're still waitin' on one more."

Seconds later the door got kicked opened. Everyone turned their heads in surprise.

"Woo-hoo-hoo, what is up, party people?!"

"Chaz?!" Millie, Moxxie and you shouted.

“Wait, what?" M&M looked at each other, and then at you.

"You know him?" Moxxie asked the two.

Millie groaned. "You remember that "ex" I was talking about?"

"Chaz was in the same house I was in whenever I ran away and lived with drug addicts."

"You lived with CHAZ?" M&M yelled out.

"Oh yeah, those were the good times." He smiled in remembrance. "Still taking meth?"

Before you could answer Chaz walks over and hugs Moxxie and Millie.

"Looks like I got two big sex reunions today. How lucky am I?"

"Are you fucking kidding me?! There's someone who's fucked both of you?! Did you fuck him too?" Blitz shouted, turning to you.

"Chill out little man, Y/n and I didn't do anything. Well if you count the house orgy. But we didn't fuck."

"I swear on my life he's being honest." You threw your hands up in defense.

"You were in an ORGY?" Everyone shouted other than Crimson and Chaz.

"Holy shit stop yelling!" You yelled.

"More like multiple Orgys. I sure do miss those days." Chaz smiled.

"Okay let's get back to you personally fucking M&M." Blitz quickly changed the subject. He doesn't want to know about your past in the drug house. It hurts him, and the more he knows the more hurt he is.

Moxxie pushes Chaz's arms off of himself and Millie.

"We dated a long time ago."

"But, I still remember it like it was yesterday. You, a fledgling mafioso! Me, the dashing and extremely sexy muscle! It was like...it was written in the stars." He said fondly

"Ha! Moxxie in the mafia, that's fucking rich." Blitz looked around the place before the look of realization settled in. "Oh shiiit."

"You've never told me this before." Millie put her hand on Moxxie's knee.

"I-I don't really like to talk about this part of my life. But, I first saw Chaz at my induction."

"Oh boy." You mumbled. You never knew about Chaz' life, and he never knew yours. Occasionally you two would snort coke together and be cracked out, but nothing too serious happened. You recollected that he was trying to fuck you many times, but luckily you were able to push him away. He wasn't at the house for too long. Maybe about 3 months until he left.

The maid came out, interrupting this story. "Dinner is served."

Everyone got seated in the dining room. Millie was viciously cutting through her food and glaring at Chaz, but the room is completely silent.

"So, this is aggressively uncomfortable." Blitz whispered to you.

"I suppose you want to know why you're here." Crimson cut up his steak.

"Yeah, so what gives? You know we kill people on Earth, right? We don't usually do contracts for locals. So, if you want to do business with us, you got to—"

"I don't want to do business with I-M-P, I want to do business with Moxxie."

Moxxie stopped cutting his food, "ME?!"

"Yeah, kid. I only summoned I.M.P to be sure you'd show. Because, well, we're bringing Chaz into the family."

Chaz smirks while raising his eyebrows.

"What? Since when can just anyone join the family?" Moxxie glared.

"Come on, Mox. You had responsibilities here that I had to pick up once you left. Now Chaz is going to lighten the load." Crimson with bitter in his voice.

"Wait, I thought you always hated his guts."

Chaz looked confused. "Well, I didn't exactly 'hated' him."

"You called him a "friendless horse-fucker" and said he lived a "sissy lifestyle"." Moxxie cocked an eyebrow.

"Yeah, well, I was wrong. You've been gone a long time, Mox. A man can change. And so has Chaz."

"Yeah. I've grown, matured, and, recently, came into millions! But, y'know, mostly the "mature" thing."

"I assume this was after the living at the drug house?" Blitz pointed his fork to Chaz.

"Way after."

You gave an exaggerated sigh. You did not want to get reminded of living at that house. One of the worst years for you.

"Oh, okay, okay. So the "horseless friend-fucker" over here gets a little moolah after living at a DRUG house and suddenly, it's worth wasting our time over?"

"Well, I'm the whole "package" if you know what I mean." He smirked. "I got a big dick."

"But, what does any of this have to do with Moxxie?" Millie said in annoyance.

"There's going to be a ceremony tomorrow. Moxxie here is going to officially release his holdings in the organization. Then you can get back to ignoring your family to your heart's content." Crimson glared at his son.

Millie stood up, "Maybe he wouldn't "ignore his family" if they didn't force him to rub elbows with a no-good, shark-toothed FUCK FACE!" Millie points her knife to Chaz' neck.

"Ey, look. Everybody, relax. I know tensions have been high tonight. Say, why don't you stay here and get some rest? We'll have the ceremony tomorrow and then you will be free to leave. I have your rooms all prepared."

You whispered to Blitz, "We have to spend the night here?"

"Don't even think about getting drugs from Chaz." He gritted his teeth.

"Jeez I'm not."

I.M.P and Chaz left the room, but Moxxie got called over by his dad.

Millie stood beside of you in the living room.

"You okay?" You put your hand on Millie's shoulder.

"Yeah...just worried about Moxxie. That's all." She hugged herself.

You got cut off by the dildos bouncing from the walls. "What the fuck?"

"Hah! There're dicks on the walls! Oh, that is fucking hilarious!"

"You should take one home, Blitz." You joked.

"Mm, yeah. Guess it wouldn't hurt for you to peg me again."

"What." Millie and Chaz said in monotoned.

"You have no room to talk Mills, you peg Moxxie!" Blitz huffed.

"Not judgin, I just don't know what goes on in y'all's house." She put her hands up in defense.

Chaz walked closer to you "I wish you would peg me back at that house-"

Blitz kicked Chaz's groin. "Don't ever mention that fucking house again." He gritted his teeth. Blitz looked over at you, "Same goes for you."

"Why are you so upset about the house? You knew about it before."

"Yeah, well that's before I..." He stopped himself.

"Before what?" You said sternly, crossing your arms.

Moxxie walked into the hallway that everyone was at. He slouched and dragged his feet. "Hey, honey." He hugged Millie. The two made their way to a room but the butler motioned Moxxie to be in a separate room.

"Crimson wants you all to stay in separate rooms."

"Including me and Blitz? We're not together."

The butler raised an eyebrow, mentally saying, "You sure?"

"We're not." You said again. The butler pointed to a separate room.

You went inside the room and locked the door, plopping yourself onto the bed, laying starfish. You overheard music playing from Moxxie's room.

After what it seems like 2 minutes, you overheard Chaz and Millie talking before her door shut, and then you heard a knock from your door. You didn't want to see Chaz, he didn't do anything wrong, it's just the memories that he brings overwhelms you with urges.

I could mooch off of some drugs..if he has any.

You shook those thoughts away. Even if you did get drugs, Blitz will find out either by Chaz, or by you, and you didn't want to make him mad.

Eventually the knocking stopped and heard another knock on Blitz's door. You overheard the two talking, and how Chaz is wanting to fuck him.

You sat up from your bed once you heard the moans between the two. Oh this mother fucker.

Then the realization hits you. You have actual feelings for Blitz. You didnt know when this started to happen, but it developed so slow that you didn't realize until Blitz was having sex with Chaz.

Sure you were sorta jealous when it came to Stolas, but you know Blitz had to do it. Besides, you had to come along as well, so it didn't affect you too much.

You pondered if it happened during that time they had to go to LA and was being bitchy about Blitz and Stolas. You were too caught up in drugs, being clean, doing that monthly transaction fucking, that you didn't catch on that you had feelings for him. You want to date him.

You kept tossing and turning in bed. Frustrated you decided to get some fresh air. As you opened your door you saw Blitz with his underwear on and Chaz's jacket.

"Holy shit you scared me." You closed the door behind. "What are you doing?"

"Where were you going?"

"Needed fresh air. Couldn't sleep."  You hugged yourself.

Blitz was going to tease you about him sleeping with Chaz, but decided now wasn't the best time. "Come with me, I need to check Chaz's car."

"Why?"

He grabbed your hand and led you out the mansion door. "Blitz?"

"I have a bad feeling about him."

"No shit."

Blitz stopped in his tracks and turned towards you. "What does that mean?"

"Dude...he was in a crack house with me. No guy becomes a millionaire after living in a crack house. Trust."

"Stop talking about the crack house." He opened Chaz's door.

"Why? I barely talk about it. I only brought it up because I saw Chaz for the first time in years."

Blitz continued to search his car, looking into the dashboard. It was an eviction notice, showing that Chaz is indeed not a millionaire and lied to Crimson.

"Shit Y/n, guess you're right." Blitz showed you the eviction notice card before opening up the trunk. It was some junk and a To-Do list, which consisted of marrying Moxxie to inherit fortune.

You gasped as you felt a syringe in your neck, alerting Blitz. Before he could fight back Chaz stuck another syringe in his neck. Blitz collapsing in the trunk.

Chaz picked you up and threw you in the trunk as well, closing it shut.

~~~

You groaned as you woke up. "Where am I?" You laughed. "Oh shit...Im high. Fuck, Blitz is going to be so mad at me."

"We got tranquilized." He slurred.

"Blitz!" You rolled over and hugged him. "I missed you." You smiled.

Blitz chuckled, "You’re a lot nicer when you’re tranquilized."

You ignored him, "Are we in a trunk?"

"Chaz's."

You groaned. You would mention about how Blitz fucked him and youre pissed off, but you decided now is not the time.

Hours had passed and the drugs are slowly wearing off. "I want to get out of here." You whined. "I have to pee."

"You could pee on me."

"What are you not into?" You yawned.

The trunk door opened, the sudden light shined into your eyes, and once it got adjusted to the light you and Blitz saw Millie and two other guys.

"Oh, Millie, you found us. Who's your friend?" Blitz groggily said.

"Friend?"

She senses two goons attempting to grab her. She stabs one with her knife and beheads the other using the trunk door. She helped the drugged up two out of the van.

"What happened?"

"Chaz drugged us." You said smiling, feeling good that you got a fix. Even if it isn't your drug of choice.

"And that seductive dick-hole is trying to marry Moxxie, and he's not even rich!"

Millie's jaw dropped. "Moxxie!"

Millie and the two drugged up imps runs to the front door. Suddenly metal shutters block off all doors and exit the house, including the front gate to the estate.

"Shit!" Millie ran her hands through her hair. You rubbed Millie's back in a soothing manner. "We can find a way in. I found a metal rod." You smirked, holding up a hoe.

"That's a hoe, Y/n." Blitz rolled his eyes.

You gasped, "No the fuck I'm not. You're the one who fucked Chaz!"

"Blitz!" Millie wide-eyed.

"Didn't think you would care! I don't have feelings for that dickhead."

"Then why did you do it?" Your voice broke.

"I think we should talk about this later," Millie pulled you away from Blitz. "We need to destroy the wedding. I'm worried about Moxxie."

Blitz gave in, "We'll help you save your limp dick husband." He rolled his eyes.

"Everything's locked down! How are we gonna get in?" Millie panicked.

Blitz feels around the jacket until he finds Chaz's car keys. He grabs you and Millie and pulled the two into Chaz's car.

You sat in the back seat, sulking almost. You hated yourself for getting jealous over a small thing. It's just because I'm high on...whatever this is.

"Buckle up,...we're doing a Shrek!"

The car backpedals and crashes through the wall to the wedding ceremony.

Blitz stepped out of the car, still dazed from the drugs. "I object!" Blitz faceplanted on the ground. You got out of the car and helped him up, both hanging onto each other to prevent themselves from falling.

"God I hate downers. This is why I prefer stimulants."

Millie steps out of the car, "You want my husband? You're going to have to fucking kill me!"

You and Blitz watched as Millie fought all of the other goons.

"I don't have my metal pole." You frowned.

"Why do you obsess over that thing? A gun is much easier to carry with you. Besides everytime you drop it I always have to replace it."

"Because you gave the first one to me."

"Is that why?"

You giggled, "Yeah."

Blitz picked up a metal chair and handed it you. "There ya go."

"It's not the same, but thanks." You snickered, then running towards a goon. You hit his head with the chair and knocked him unconscious. "Yeah!" You screamed out before losing your balance and falling.

Millie sighed in annoyance and picked you up, gently throwing you over to where Blitz is.

"Did I win?" You mumbled, curling into a fetal position.

"Sorta." Blitz tried to pick you up but refused.

"I'm tired."

"Yeah well, you better get up before you get impelled."

"No." You mumbled. Blitz let out an excessive sigh and stood in front of you so you wouldn't get hurt.

All of the goons ended up severely hurt or just dead.

Millie picked up Moxxie and hoisted him over her shoulder.

"This ass is MINE!" She slaps Moxxie's ass.

"By the way, y'all should probably know, Chaz isn't even rich, okay? Check his car, he just played you like a fucking rube! Later, losers!" Blitz dragged you since you were too stubborn to get up.

~~

Your eyes fluttered involuntarily while waking up because of the light. You slowly sat up and looked around, sitting on a couch in the I.M.P room.

"Since when did we have a couch?" You yawned.

"We always had one." Blitz propped his feet onto the meeting table.

"Huh..never realized." You laid back down.

Blitz looked at you confused, "You sat down on it multiple times...you sat down on it today."

"Sir, Millie and I are going to go home now. We had a pretty eventful day."

"Yeah yeah go ahead whatever." Blitz shooed them away. "Loonie you can go ahead and go home. Im going to stay here just in case if we get more clients calling."

"Whatever." She got up from her desk and left. Blitz got up and sat on the couch next to you.

"Sorry for getting mad at you for bringing up that crack house."

"It's okay, I understand."

"If you want, you can talk to me about it. Wouldn't hurt to know your life before you came knocking on my door." He chuckled.

"It's not a pretty story. But..maybe some day." You gave him a reassuring smile.

"Anddd don't worry about me and Chaz. It was impulsive."

"It's whatever."

"Are you mad?"

"Eh, a little. But like I said, it's whatever."

"FYI, he's bad." Blitz trailed his finger from your shoulder to your hand, "But I know somebody who's great at it." He said in a sing song voice.

You snickered, "Want to do it on this mysterious couch that appeared out of nowhere?"

"I'm telling you it's been here since the beginning."

"Was that a yes?"

"Hard yes."

[leslovesfatties]

Pt. 1: first flight

Idk I was feeling super mushy so I wrote this in like 3 hours lol soft BHM/FFA fiction…should I continue it?

First time flying in two years…and back then it was a squeeze. Determined not to embarrass myself, I called ahead.

“TWO tickets?”

“Yes, sir. But there’s no guarantee the second seat won’t be sold if it’s a particularly full flight.”

I gulped and hesitated. “Okay…so that means I’m paying for a seat I might not get?”

“That’s correct.” Not a hint of sympathy in her voice.

What other choice did I have? “Okay, then. I guess I’ll take the window and middle seat. Oh, and I’ll probably need a seatbelt extender.” Even saying the words made my face flush. I can’t believe I’d let myself get like this. The voice on the other end of the phone either sighed, coughed, or stifled a laugh. I couldn’t be sure which, and I didn’t exactly want to know.

My alarm fades out as I desperately want to hit snooze. I get up, wash my face, and try to keep my anxiety at bay. It’s going to be fine. I got TWO seats. I won’t bother anyone. I put on a little extra deodorant in between my folds and under my moobs. A little cologne for good measure and a crisp shirt. I don’t want people to think I’m some sort of lazy, unkempt slob. I actually really care about my appearance. My face stays neatly shaven, my hair styled, and clothes - when I can find them in my size - are reasonably tasteful. My glasses frames are updated each year in an attempt to elevate my look, or at least take people’s glances away from other parts.

At the airport, I grab a bagel and a coffee, then wait as close to the line as I can to board. Don’t panic. You’re going to fit. Everything’s going to be fine. It’s a short flight, anyways. A mantra I’ve begun to chant in my head as the boarding process begins. I offer a smile to the man who scans my barcode for two tickets and he looks up for the second passenger.

“Oh, uh, it’s just for me.” He acknowledges by nodding me over to continue boarding. I practically hold my breath as I wedge myself between the aisle. Most people brace their carry ons, but I have to brace myself.

Thankfully, no one is in my row, otherwise they’d have to get up to let me through. I plop down and immediately appreciate the forethought to buy two seats. I’m positively squished between the plane wall and armrest.

“Um, excuse me?” Fuck. I look up.

“Are those your bags? Do you want me to put them up here?

“Uh, I’m actually supposed to have this seat.” I try to speak just loud enough for her to hear and no other passengers. She glances down at her phone and back up.

“23 B?” My face flushes as I realize what’s happened. They’ve given up my seat.

“I-I’m so sorry,” I stutter, utterly embarrassed. “I was supposed to…They weren’t supposed to -“ The line behind her grew and we were drawing attention.

“That’s okay! Here,” she reached for my bag and in a daze, I handed it to her. She was so short she couldn’t get it in the overhead compartment all the way and I wanted to disappear. She scooted in and I tried leaning as far as I could into the wall, my side squishing into her armrest. At that moment, I realized I forgot to ask for the seatbelt extender. My ears started ringing and I desperately wanted to get off this flight.

“I’m so sorry…” I began, but she cut me off.

“For what? Don’t apologize.” She finished shoving her bag under her seat and smiled at me.

An older gentleman plopped down next to her and scowled at me. I looked down as he muttered something I was grateful I couldn’t understand. Fuck. How am I going to get the extender now?

“Um, excuse me?” I leaned over slightly to look at the man who’d just joined our row. I’d just about rather die than have to move. He looked up.

“I’m sorry, but I have to get up.”

The man scowled. “Ugh, shouldn’t they have weight limits on these things?” My heart dropped.

“Wow, that was rude.” The girl beside me said pointedly and the man scoffed. I tried to sink down and away into my chair, my face hot with embarrassment.

“I tried to buy two seats…” I began and the girl cut me off.

“You don’t owe him an explanation. He just wants an excuse to be miserable,” the girl turned and whispered to me. I tried to smile but felt like my lip might quiver, so I mouthed “thank you.”

“Everything okay over here?” A slim flight attendant asked, primarily to me.

“Uh, yeah. I-I think I need a…” I tried gesturing to the seatbelt so I wouldn’t have to say it out loud, but she looked puzzled. I gulped, feeling my heart rate rise and willing myself to stop sweating.

“An extender” it was barely audible, but the guy two seats away looked at me with disgust and shook his head. The flight attendant nodded and retreated to find one. I looked out the window so I could get my emotions in check.

“You okay?” The girl whispered. Thank God she was small, otherwise I’d be squishing her.

I nodded, fearing my voice might crack, and swallowed hard. “Thank you.”

“People can be so unkind.” The tenderness in her voice allowed me to look up and I offered her the best smile I could muster up.

The flight attendant came back with the extender and explained how to connect it. I did it as quickly as possible and willed the plane to take off.

The girl made polite conversation with me which calmed my nerves a bit.

“Are you on the connecting flight or stopping at Atlanta?”

“Connecting flight.”

“Cool. I’m sorry they gave up your seat.”

“It’s okay. It sucks that I’m out of the money, though.” I admitted.

“That’s so fucked up. Sorry, messed up. So you paid for two seats but only got one?”

“Yeah…”

“Well, if you get stuck in the same position next flight, I’d be happy to be your seat buddy again.”

I shook my head, “oh, no. That’s very kind of you, but I don’t want you to be uncomfortable the whole trip.” Secretly, I was terrified of getting sat next to someone who wasn’t as kind as her.

“I’m not uncomfortable at all. Plus, you’d be doing me a favor. I get nervous on planes sometimes and it’s nice to talk to someone.” She smiled reassuringly and I almost believed her.

“Sorry, what was your name?”

“Oh, Leslie! Nice to meet you…?”

“Ian,” I smiled, a bit more sincerely this time.

We kept talking and I tried not making it obvious how squished I was between her armrest, but you could easily tell.

“Do you want to move that?” She asked after I’d wiggled around a bit.

“Oh, no. It’s fine.”

“It won’t bother me, but I can’t promise I won’t fall asleep on you.” I felt my face flush and let out a laugh.

“Are you sure?”

“Here,” she raised it for me and my fat immediately pooled out. I looked away, embarrassed. Thank God it still wasn’t touching her, by some miracle. I glanced at her and she had looked away as well. Fuck.

“Sorry” I muttered.

“It’s okay.” She placed her hand on my thigh just above my knee and I felt my breath hitch. She was just being nice.

“Thanks,” I looked out the window and she moved her hand away.

Several minutes later, she had fallen asleep on me. She wasn’t kidding. I tried not to move as I rummaged through my bag for my AirPods. She stirred and jerked up.

“I’m sorry!”

“It’s okay. I don’t mind. I was trying not to wake you.”

“I’m sure you don’t mind a random stranger sleeping on you,” she chuckled and I grinned in response. “If I fall asleep again, can you wake me when they come by with the snacks?”

“Of course.”

In about 30 minutes, the snack carts came out so I gently nudged Leslie who’d fallen asleep on me again.

“Sorry,” she yawned sleepily. “Thanks for waking me.”

“No problem.”

“Hey, want to get a wine with me?”

“Won’t that make you sleepier?”

“Maybe! Who knows?”

“Two cabernets, please.” She held out her card and I protested.

“No, I got it.” I fumbled for my wallet.

“I insist,” and she handed her card to the flight attendant.

“You didn’t have to do that.”

“I wanted to. I invited you to day drink with me. Cheers.”

“Cheers.” I couldn’t help but smile. “Thank you.”

The plane lands and most people eagerly stand up. I wait behind, definitely not eager to bump into anyone. Leslie stands and asks if we can walk to the gate together so we can board the connecting flight together, and I’m extremely grateful.

“Sure.” When most of the people have left, Leslie scoots out and waits for me. I don’t want her to see me struggle to get out of my seat, but it’s inevitable. “I gotta lose some weight,” I try to laugh it off, but I must be a pretty pathetic sight, wobbling and shifting myself over the seats in order to get into the aisle.

She doesn’t respond and I regret pointing out my size, but she still waits as I reach for my bag. Before slinging it down, I notice her staring where my shirt should be covering my stomach, but considering the reaching, it might have ridden up. My face flushes and I throw my bag over my shoulder as quickly as I can, letting Leslie go first.

“Hungry?”

“Oh, no…I just had a bagel.” But I was hungry, and I would be before the next flight.

“We have about an hour before boarding. Maybe we should get something to go for the plane?”

I considered it. “Sure, whatever you want.”

The only respectable restaurant was a shitty Ruby Tuesdays and we decided to eat in. I was able to wedge myself into the booth but it was tight.

“Here, why don’t we move to the bar?” Leslie asked, noticing the tight space.

“Oh no, I don’t mind…”

“You don’t have to be uncomfortable.” She stated.

I thought over my words carefully and explained “I’m just not sure I’ll fit there, either.”

“Oh. I’m sorry. Do you want to try? I’ll keep our seat here.”

“Um, sure.” I hefted my weight and tried to keep my cool. The bar stools didn’t have armrests which was a blessing. It was still difficult to fit, but it was better than the booth. I came back to grab our bags and she thanked me, following me to the bar.

“You know, you don’t have to do this. I really appreciate it but I’m okay.” She frowned.

“I like this. I like getting to know you. I’d rather hang out with you than wait alone.” She was so sweet. “Want another drink?”

“Sure.”

We continued talking and I forgot why I was ever anxious in the first place. We ordered another round and I could tell she was starting to feel it. I was getting a little uncomfortable when her glances started going towards my body, so I reached into my bag and pulled over a hoodie. Did she…frown?

“You’re really hard to read,” I confessed.

“How so?” She propped herself up on her elbow and looked at me quizzically.

“I don’t know,” I shook my head. “I just don’t get you.” She smiled coyly.

“I’m an enigma,” she stated with jazz hands for added flair.

“Well, I’m enjoying myself a lot more than I was earlier, so thank you.”

“You don’t have to keep thanking me and apologizing. I’m equally enjoying it.” She placed her hand on my thigh and I realized I’d been bouncing my leg anxiously for who knows how long. I didn’t know what to make of her. Friendly, sweet, kind, adorable. Now I have another reason for not wanting to get on the plane…I don’t want this to end.

Leslie orders some appetizers to share and an entree for herself. I try to choose something moderately healthy, so I stick to the grilled chicken sandwich.

“Here, try” she pushes over her appetizer plates to me and I take small bites.

“They’re good.”

“Have more,” she begins forking them onto my plate.

“Whoa, no, that’s okay,” I try to protest but she’s in the middle of loading up my plate.

“I won’t finish them,” she counters, and I oblige, trying not to make a pig of myself.

I try not to eat everything to save face, despite my obvious physique that says I likely have never turned down food before. I order another drink and Leslie is practically staring at me now. I shift uncomfortably in my seat and try sucking in my belly.

“You’re full?”

“Oh, um yeah.”

“We shouldn’t let it go to waste.”

“You ordered them,” I remind her.

“Pleaseeeee,” she’s tipsy now and there’s something in her eyes I can’t quite pinpoint.

“Really?” I laugh. “Why do you want me to finish these? Why not just save them for later?”

“Because you’ll be hungry later, too.”

“Bold of you to assume.” I counter.

“Is it though?” I don’t think she intended malice, but the words sting a little.

“I’m sorry, I just…I didn’t mean it in a bad way. I’m sorry, that was dumb.” She covered her face with her hands.

“It’s okay.“ I pause. She doesn’t say anything. It’s quiet besides her fork scraping against the plate.

“I just, I’m sorry I’m so awkward,” she sighed. “I think you’re really cute.”

I stop mid-bite. “What?” Garbled by the food in my mouth.

She covers her face with her hands again.

I finish swallowing, heart pounding in my chest. “Really?”

“Yes really. I thought I’d made it obvious. I was so nervous.” She confessed.

It took me a second to compute. It made sense. The quick glances, an excuse to put her hand on my leg, insisting on buying my wine.

“It’s so cute when you do that.”

“Do what?”

“You blush.” I could feel my cheeks burning even brighter. We were sitting so close to each other I could smell the sweet rosé on her breath.

She leaned in closer. “You’re seriously so handsome.” I think my heart leapt into my throat and I had to swallow it down. Was this happening?

The bartender interrupted and asked if we wanted to close out, which we did. It gave me a moment to gain my composure.

“You don’t think I’m too…big?” I was afraid to ask. She shook her head and barely audibly answered “I like bigger guys.” Holy shit.

We had to run to our gate and we were both giddy. I offered her my hand and she took it, two wildly different strangers running through an airport together. “I booked two seats…” I explained as they checked my boarding pass and Leslie chimed in “I don’t mind sitting next to him if it’s a full flight. I’m 18 A.”

“Thanks, looks like you might have to. Hang tight.”

“You can give my seat to someone else.” She insisted and the boarding director looked at me and I shrugged.

“Alright, miss,” and he scanned all three tickets.

“I’ll go first to make sure there’s enough room.” Wow. My anxiety was no match for her.

“Excuse me, ‘scuse us,” she’d loudly announce when people’s bags were in my way. I was beyond grateful. We took our seats and I thanked her.

“No more thanking me!” And she pulled her armrest up.

“I’m so cold.”

“Here,” I peeled off my hoodie and felt the cool air hit my stomach when my shirt rode up. “I’m sure it’s way too big, but -“

“Thank you.” She eagerly accepted it and draped it over her, cuddling into me. My heart thudded obnoxiously in my chest.

“Is this okay?” She asked timidly.

“Of course,” I placed an arm around her. Whoever gets sat next to us would probably think we’re a couple on vacation, and I loved that. It was an older, middle aged woman with a smug expression on her face. She first looked at me and practically grimaced. Leslie noticed and placed her arm around my stomach where my waistline would be if it wasn’t covered in fat. I got chills.

It was the tiny nuances that she noticed. How I could use some help maneuvering the aisle, when someone made a comment or just gave a look of disapproval. She was trying to offset it, remind me that I’m not as despicable as they act like I am. Like I’m not a huge waste of space, an eyesore, an inconvenience.

“This is nice.” She sighed into me, arm still wrapped around me.

“So nice,” I agree. She rhythmically rubs her thumb over my stomach and I get goosebumps. I don’t think I’ve ever been touched like this. Sure, I’ve been in relationships and had a couple hookups, but no one ever wanted to touch my body. It was a foreign feeling to have someone actually want to. She looked so small, especially next to me.

“We barely know each other and look at us,” I whispered. She looked up at me excitedly.

“Let’s get to know each other. What’s your favorite color?”

“Blue, yours?”

“Mine too! Favorite food?”

“Anything,” I snickered. “Can you tell?”

“Ha, ha. Alright, how tall are you?”

“Six foot, you?”

“Holy shit. Guess.”

“Hmm, 5’2?”

“Nope. Five foot.”

“Five feet?! That’s it?”

She nodded, stifling a laugh. We were quiet for a little, the hum of the plane and alcohol making us sleepy.

“I really like this.”

“Me too.” I couldn’t believe this was happening. I didn’t want the plane to take off. I wanted to sit with her like this forever.

[vanfleeter]

Bound for Earth: Chapter 3

Characters: Jake Kiszka, Josh Kiszka, Marlie (Star) Warnings: 18+ || Language. Fluff. Crush. Admitting feelings. A little bit of flirting, if you squint. More brotherly antics. Angst. Frustration. Secrets. Allusion to anxiety. Smut. Allusions to masturbation. Allusions to sex.

Bound For Earth Masterlist

Shoving Josh against the wall of the corridor, I run off into the common room and hastily greeting people as I fly by. No way am I letting Josh touch my bacon. I did call it a luxury after all. Making it up to the breakfast line, Josh appears beside me and shoves me off to the side. I shove back and we continue on with it until we’re both on the floor and wrestling each other.

“Enough you two,” I hear the robotic voice of Marvin call as he glides across the floor. “There is plenty of food for everyone.”

“Relax, Marv,” Josh says as he shoves against the tile flooring and stands to his feet. “We’re only playing around.”

“Yes well, one of these days your “playing around” will cause bodily harm..again.”

Josh holds out his hand to me and I grab hold of it. He pulls me back to my feet and fixes my hair. I swat his hands away and straighten out my clothes.

“Good morning boys,” Moira says as she hands over the bacon to put it on our trays. “How’s everything working out with the launch tomorrow?” She asks, looking at me.

“Everything looks very promising,” I say. Little does anyone know that I have a plan up my sleeve–although Josh might know. “I’ve been double checking all of the codes and such, it all looks good.”

“I cannot wait.. I’m supposed to be on that trip. I’ve been missing my daughter.”

I can’t help the smile that forms on my face. “You’ll be seeing her soon enough.” And I will be seeing Earth soon enough, if everything works out accordingly.

Taking our food and going over to an empty table, Josh sits across from me and nudges my shin with the toe of his boot. I look up at him and he cocks a brow. “This launch has to go off without a hitch,” He says.

“I know, and it will.”

“Jake, I swear to God–”

“Keep your trap shut.”

“At least take me with you,” He whispers. I shake my head and he rolls his eyes. “Come on, please?”

“You were so against this, and now all of a sudden you want to go?”

“I can’t let you experience Earth without me.”

“I’ll figure something out.”

Josh grins wickedly and happily chews on his bacon. “I really want to try waffles. You’ve had me thinking about those.”

I scoff, shaking my head. “Don’t make me regret this.”

For the rest of the day, I worked on finishing the coding for the launch while adding a couple extra spots on the cruiser. Fingers crossed no one will notice. All I know now is that I won’t have a use for Charles’ badge. I quickly toss into the incinerator before getting started on forging different ones. Since Josh decided he wanted to join me, I’ve had to come up with a plan B. So that means recreating badges from two crew members staying here in the station. We’ll be able to take their spots on the cruiser and once the launch is complete, no one can do anything. Can’t exactly turn that thing around like it’s a bus, doesn’t work that way.

My computer beeps and I look up at the screen. A smile spreads across my face.

Star: Changed your mind yet?

Setting the files off to the side, I push my glasses up the bridge of my nose and click on the message to respond.

Voyager: About telling you my last name?

Star: Yes.

Star: Why won’t you tell me?

Star: Are you in the Witness Protection Program or something?

I laugh, throwing my head back.

Voyager: No.

Star: So then why won’t you tell me?

Star: I tried looking for any and all ‘Jake’s in Texas and I don’t know which one is you. Are you a farmer? A bar owner? A teacher? A gigolo?

Voyager: Never thought of being a gigolo.Voyager: I’ll just tell you that I don’t live in Texas.

Star: Oh?

Star: Then where?

Voyager: You’d never guess.

Star: Try me..Star: Do you at least live in the US?

Voyager: I do have dual citizenship, but currently? No, I do not live in the US. But soon..

Star: You are killing me.

Voyager: Don’t you live in Texas?

Star: You already know that.Star: Are you really that afraid of telling me who you are?

Voyager: Afraid? No. Nervous? Yes.

Voyager: You wouldn’t believe me.

Star: Jake…

Voyager: Marlie..

Voyager: I do want you to know that I’ll be radio silent for a while.

Star: Why?

Star: How long?

Voyager: Six to eight months, give or take.

Star: Are you a fugitive?

Voyager: Nothing illegal..

Voyager: I think..

Star: You think?

Voyager: I’m taking a trip with my brother and we won't have much contact.

Star: Will you message me when you get to wherever you’re going?

Voyager: Why don’t I just come see you?

My heart races in my chest. Do I really want to do that?

Star: You want to come see me?

Voyager: Yes. If that’s okay.

I mentally cross my fingers as I wait for her response to come through. My heart still races and I swear I feel sweat starting to perspire on my forehead. I’m nervous over a woman I’ve never even met. Is that what having a crush feels like? Does she even feel the same way about me?

Her message pops up and I can’t stop the smile from spreading across my face.

Star: Of course it is.

Star: Call me when you make it in from your trip.

Star: 214-555-5501

I quickly scramble to find a blank sheet of paper and snatch up a pen to quickly write down her number.

Star: When do you leave?

Voyager: Tomorrow.

Star: So soon.

Star: Whatever will I do without getting to talk to you every day?

I chuckle, chewing on the end of the pen.

Voyager: You’ll survive.

Star: I hate you.

Voyager: I love you.

Wait what? My eyes shoot up to the screen. Oh god. I told her I love her? Jake, you idiot. I barely know her. I mean sure we’ve been talking for months now but I don’t love her. Do I?

A couple minutes went by as I waited for her response. My eyes are glued to the screen, my heart racing, and my palms starting to sweat. Suddenly the bubble appears as she types out a response but then it disappears. A couple more minutes go by and she still doesn’t respond. Fuck, I definitely screwed this up.

Standing up from my desk chair, I drop the pen on the desk and pace back and forth. She hasn’t logged off yet, but she hasn’t responded. My heart still races in my chest. I flex my fists, open and close, while I wait. The computer beeps and I freeze. Looking over at the screen I see that she’s sending a video chat request.

Crap..

Sitting back down in the chair, I grab the mouse in my hand. The cursor hovers over the accept button. Just do it and get it over with. Suddenly I’m clicking the accept button and she appears on the screen. Her eyes grow wide when she sees me. Her eyes. They are brown, a similar shade like me and they are beautiful. Her hair is a dark brown, almost black and it’s long enough to drape over her shoulders and down her chest. She may be dressed in only a gray sweat suit but she still looks beautiful.

Wow.

I definitely am crushing on her.

“Jake?”

I awkwardly wave. “It’s me.”

“You’re.. Oh my god.. You’re..him.”

“Define ‘him’,” I say as I lean forward on the desk.

“T-The space guy. You were born on Mars.”

“That would be me.”

“And your brother.” I nod my head and I watch as she leans back. “This.. This is not what I was expecting.”

I chuckle and slide off my glasses and I set them aside. “What were you expecting? A gigolo?”

She scoffs and rolls her eyes. “That was a joke.” I crack a smile. “So this trip.. Are you coming here? To Earth?”

“I’m going to try.” I say. “A lot is riding on this..”

“Is Josh coming?”

“Unfortunately..”

She giggles and the sound alone makes me feel warm. Her voice is sweet too. I don’t really have anything to compare it to, except for maybe a 1950s romance movie. “Do you not want him to come with you?”

“No, of course I do,” I say. “Just kind of stresses me out. Somehow I have to sneak us onto the cruiser.”

“How good is your stealth?”

“Umm… Not good..” I say, thinking back on getting caught driving the ATV. I don’t stop the smirk and she giggles again.

“So about what you said..”

“Oh uh–” I stammer, averting my eyes to the many files spread out on the desk before me. “That uh–that slipped..” When I finally looked back up at the screen, she had a small smile.

“You know.. There’s no shame in admitting it,” She says.

“Not too fast?” I ask, and she shakes her head.

“I might feel the same way.”

“Might?”

She shrugs her shoulders. “Guess you’ll definitely have to come here and find out.”

“Guess I will.”

I can hear voices in the background and she looks upwards before looking back at me. “I have to go, but I’ll see you when you get here. Don’t lose my number and call me when you get here.” She leans forward, her hand resting at the top of her screen. “It was nice to finally see your face.” She gives me a small wave with her other hand before the screen glitches and goes black.

Leaning back in my chair, I can’t fight the smile as it comes back in full force. I’ve only ever dreamed of this when watching movies. I never thought that I’d actually be experiencing it. I want to go to Earth now to see her again, and she can help me do everything that I’ve always been wanting. She can help me feel normal.

–

“You’re sure this is going to work?” Josh says as I hand him his helmet and the badge. He flips it over and stares at it in confusion. “Roger Flint?” He says. “Seriously? I get the guy who vomits every time he goes through the simulator?”

“You aren’t him, you’re just using it to get on board.”

“But he isn’t even meant to be on this trip.”

“He is now.” I smirk. “Now come on, we have to get on there before the others.”

Swiping the badges through the scanner, the light turns green for both of us and the doors slide open to the corridor that leads to the cruiser. We put on our helmets and help each other click them into place. I press the button that opens the sliding doors of the cruiser and we get inside. I turn to look at Josh once we’re inside and I nod my head towards the back row of seats in the cabin. Once the cruiser is in a stable position, everyone on board will be able to move freely about the big, metal pod.

Taking our seats in the back row, we buckle ourselves in and await the arrival of the others. The shields on the helmets are dark enough that no one will be able to tell that it's us. Seeing Josh move beside me, I turn my head and I see him holding his hand out to me. I reach over and hold tightly to his hand.

Step One: Board the cruiser - Check.

Soon the others were beginning to board the cruiser and buckling themselves into their seats. I quickly let go of Josh’s hand and relax back into the seat.

You can do this.

“Artemis 052, are you ready?”

“Ready,” The captain speaks. Rollin Wayne. He’s been the captain of this cruiser for the last twenty years, almost our entire lives.

“Everyone is on board, you are clear for liftoff.”

I look over at Josh and he’s tapping his fingers in a rhythmic pattern on the arm of the seat. He’s nervous. As he should be. I can’t blame him, because so am I. This is the first time doing this, we don’t know what to expect.

The cruiser begins to violently shake as it begins to detach from the station and I grip tightly to the arms of the seat.

Breathe.

Remember to breathe.

In.

Out.

Slowly.

You’ve worked for this. You didn’t do all those training sessions for nothing.

“Takeoff commences in ten…”

Breathe in.

“Nine…”

Breathe out.

“Eight…”

In.

“Seven…”

Out.

“Six… Five… Four… Three… Two… One…”

I’m being pressed into the seat, tighter than I ever expected it to be. I need to keep breathing. You can do it. Even if it’s difficult, keep breathing. The brightness of the sun fills the cabin of the cruiser and I close my eyes. Focus on your breathing. It won’t be long until the cruiser stabilizes.

The shaking and the pressure, it’s too much. My heart is pounding in my chest and my suit feels so tight against my chest. I can’t turn my head, nor can I move any part of my body. I can’t see Josh so I can’t see what he must be going through.

Keep breathing. We’re almost free.

Soon the pressure decreases and I can finally breathe normally and I can move. I turn to face Josh and he turns to face me. I can see a glimpse of his face through his mask as the sun still shines in the cabin. Relief shows in his eyes, yet he also looks excited. That glimmer of hope shines in his eyes.

We’re doing this. We actually made it off Mars. We’re going to Earth.

“You are now free to roam the cabin.”

Josh glances at me and I nod my head towards the door that leads to the back of the cruiser. We don’t want to be noticed right away so we have to be careful when making our way back there. Unbuckling ourselves, the two of us cautiously move–or more like float–towards one of the sides of the cruiser to look out the window.

The sun was brightly shining off in the distance while stars were passing by. They look a lot different from a closer view. Not as pretty as they are viewing them from the ground.

“Helmets may now be removed.”

Josh and I both look at each other. Here goes nothing. We each unhook our helmets from our suits before sliding them off. Once they’re removed, we’re throwing our arms around each other. We might get caught but that doesn’t matter right now. We made it off Mars and we’re headed for Earth. I’m headed to Earth.

“Oh my god..” Pulling apart from each other, we look behind us to see Rollin.

“Oh hey Rollin!” Josh beams, trying to act innocent. “Excited to be going back to Earth?”

“How in the world did you two get on here?” He says. His eyes move to look at me and I wave. “You… Your brain is a dangerous thing.. Jake, you know you two shouldn't be here!”

“Rollin, please..” I beg as I step up to him. “Please, please don’t tell anyone.”

“Don’t tell anyone? Are you insane?”

“Rollin, please?”

“This could be dangerous, Jake, and I do not want to be responsible if something were to go wrong.”

“Do not say anything, please. Or so help me God I will make sure you don’t come back up here.”

“You’re threatening me?” Rollin laughs. “Listen here, boy–you,” He stabs his finger into my chest as he speaks. “Have absolutely no control over me. Got it? They will figure out that you aren’t back at the station and when they do, they will come asking. I cannot lie. This is dangerous and you know it.”

I roll my eyes. “How do we know? Huh? How would we know if we don’t at least try? After all, we are your guinea pigs.”

“Oh quit with the guinea pig shit… You are not–”

“No? Then why the fuck do we have to wear these monitors? Hmm? Why do we get tested every other week? They want to know if we can survive because if we do, they’ll give the okay that humans can live and populate on the god forsaken planet. No one truly cares about our wellbeing, they just want answers to their questions.”

Rollin sighs and pinches the bridge of his nose. “If anything happens to either of you, it is on you and not me.” He starts to move away but stops and turns back around. “And another thing.. When we land, you two will be kept at Headquarters. They will not let you leave until the next transport is ready to make the trip back to Mars. So enjoy your freedom for now, because it won’t last long.”

-

It didn’t take long before we were discovered to not be at the station anymore. By midday, the following day, the cruiser is being contacted. Josh and I were still asleep inside our shared sleeping quarters when we were called back into the seating area. Pulling ourselves along the corridor, we step into the room and Rollin is waving us over. As soon as we make it over we’re met with our mother glaring at us from a holographic screen.

“I should have known..” She says as soon as she sees us. “Jacob, I’m not surprised, but you Joshua? Did he make you do it?”

“You’d be pleasantly surprised to know that I made the decision on my own.” Josh says. Mom gives him a disapproving look and he awkwardly smiles. “Okay, maybe not pleasant..”

“This has got to be the most irresponsible thing you have ever done, Jacob.” Mom says. “You are risking your life as well as your brother’s!”

“I think we’re doing pretty well so far,” I say. “Come on, Mom. Think of this as the ultimate experiment. Can humans who are born on Mars survive on Earth?”

“This isn’t funny, Jacob.”

“I’m not laughing, Mom, I’m serious.”

“And I’m serious too! This is dangerous..”

I can’t help but to roll my eyes. “Everything we do is dangerous it seems. We’ll be safe, I promise. We won’t do anything that’s strenuous. And besides, we’ll get to see Dad in person.”

Mom’s eyes grow wide. “Wh-What? Y-You’re gonna go see your father?”

My eyebrows crease and I look at Josh. “Yeah? Why wouldn’t we?”

“Uh well, you can’t.”

“Why not?”

“He’s… He’s on a trip.. He won’t be home.”

“Okay? Then we’ll wait until he gets back.” I say shrugging my shoulders. “And while we do, I’ll be off doing other things.”

“You are not leaving Headquarters.”

“I am leaving headquarters when we land and after the initial twenty-four hour hold. You can’t keep me prisoner..” I hit the blue button beside the hologram and it disappears. Josh looks at me in bewilderment. He’s never seen me stand up to our mother before, because quite frankly I never have. Sure I get a little crabby with her but not once have I done anything like that with her. “What?”

Josh shakes his head. “Nothing, nothing..” A smile starts to form on his face. I can’t help but to smile back and he laughs. “We are so fucked when we get back..”

I shrug my shoulders and push off the table, allowing myself to float off through the room. “We’ll deal with that when we come to it.”

–

“I got us food,” Josh says as he pulls himself into our sleeping quarters.

“Be careful opening the milk.” I say.

“Why?” Josh says as he proceeds to break the seal on the bag. A stream of milk starts flowing out of the bag and floating in the air.

“That’s why..” I say. “You need to connect a closable straw to the bag.”

“Ohhh, so that’s what this thing is,” He says, holding up a plastic tube. “I thought it looked a little odd.” I roll my eyes and take my food.

Suddenly he’s pushing off the wall and circling around the floating stream of milk. “What the hell are you doing?”

“Drinking the milk,” He says before opening his mouth and sucking in the stream of milk.

“You’re insane..”

“But it worked,” He winks with a laugh. “So.. What are you going to do first after the twenty-four hour hold? Or who?” He winks. I look at him oddly and he laughs. “What? I haven’t forgotten about Star..” He smirks. “Oh no, excuse me.. Marlie..” He rolls his eyes.

“I have to call her first when we get there. I have no idea where she lives.”

“And then when you do.. Are you gonna…” He wags his eyebrows and I shove him over. “Come on, I know what you do when you’re alone.”

“Are you spying on me?! You freak..”

He laughs and shakes his head. “No.. But you’re not exactly quiet.. I can hear you when I walk by your cabin. I’m pretty sure anyone could..”

“Can we stop talking about this?” I say. “But so what if I do…do that?”

“You might potentially have a kid on Earth..” He says nonchalantly. When I turn my head to look at him, I can see a smirk grow on his face and he looks at me from the corner of his eye. “Use protection, mmkay?” He pops a piece of dried bacon into his mouth. “I know we haven’t needed it, but if it happens while we’re down there, I’d prefer that we were safe.”

“Great talk, Dad.”

Josh chuckles and pops another piece of bacon into his mouth. “Start eating before I take it for myself.”

______________________________________________________________

If you are not already on my general tag list and would like to be added, please let me know!! ♡ (apologies if your user is not highlighted, tumblr doesn't like to highlight all of them for some reason)

@watchingover-hypegirl @losfacedevil @ignite-my-fire @ohgodthefeeling-gvf @writingcold @jaketlove @mackalah @lexii-nv-c @em-gvf01 @katiegvf @joshkiszkaenthusiast @takenbythemadness @jakekiszkasmommy @objectsinspvce @gvfmarge @heckingfrick @bluemeadows77 @laneygvf @sacredmachine @gvfpal @killerqueengvf @jaketlover @jordinlkiszka @alwaysonthemend @hellowgoodbye @anythingforjtk @hi-hi-hello11 @anthemofgvf @gretasfallingsky @songbirds-sweet @wildbluesorbit @klarxtr @stardustsecret @sunandthemoontwinflames @everyglowinthetwilightknows @devilat-thedoor @sparrowofthedawnsworld @josh-iamyour-mama @dannys-dream @peaceloveunitygvf @dayumclarizzel @thetroublegetssoloud71 @jakebrainrot @gretavanfleetmichelle @hollyco @its-interesting-van-kleep @tinydancer40 @edgingthedarkness @i-love-gvf @thewritingbeforesunrise @katuschka @sammysstolenbirks @asendingtothestarsasone @fleetingjake @emojakekiszka @literal-dead-leaf @klarxtr @musicislove3389 @earthgrlsreasy

[arthropod-concoctions]

(AO3)

Grian's ears were still ringing when he respawned, back at home. He closed his eyes, buried his face in his hands, and groaned.

“I'm so sorry, Scar,” he muttered to himself. He'd decided to go make an apology to the man himself as well, as he would also be waking up right about now. Grian opened his eyes-

And immediately noticed that he was not in his own base.

He sat up and looked around to get his bearings. He was lying in a soft green bed, in an organically-shaped room with walls of living wood and beautiful wood-carved furniture. Jellie was lying in a cat bed a few meters away.

Scar's base. Why on Earth am I in Scar's base? He thought. “Scar?” he called out, then cleared his throat, because his voice sounded incredibly hoarse. There was no response.

He got up to go find Scar, but barely made it two steps away from the bed before collapsing onto the floor. His legs felt like he'd walked a marathon. That was concerning; respawn pain wasn't supposed to be this intense, even after exiting a hardcore world, and he'd barely even hurt his legs when he died. His ears were the part that got hurt-- and they still did. He rubbed his ears, hoping to make the ringing stop. It didn't, but Grian noticed something else: his ears had pointy tips.

“Wait a second...” Grian suddenly had an idea of what might have happened. He hastily dug through his horribly unorganized inventory for something with a mirrored surface. He eventually found a hand mirror with golden decorations, which he'd never seen before, and looked into it. A scarred face with dark green eyes looked back at him.

“Oh no,” Grian said, in Scar's voice.

He was in Scar's body. That must be why his legs hurt so much, he realized. He looked around and quickly saw a cane carved from spruce wood leaning against a nightstand, with a large green crystal worked into the design. Grian grabbed it, and immediately felt the pain lessen; slowly, he stood up again. For a second he tried to rebalance with his wings, but of course they were gone now.

This was a very big problem; seemed like something had gone wrong separating his and Scar's soulbond. He should probably check how his own body was doing; he closed his eyes to Watch elsewhere--

And nothing happened. He just opened his two regular eyes again.

He sighed. “Right. Scar's not a watcher.” he'd have to go check things out the old-fashioned way, but before then, he decided to send a quick message to everyone online. He pulled out his chat; the device was colored cyan and orange.

Grian joined the game

GoodTimeWithScar joined the game

<Cubfan135> heyoo

<Zedaph> Hi there!

<GoodTimeWithScar> guys

<GoodTimeWithScar> there's a big problem

<Cubfan135> need some help, Scar?

<GoodTimeWithScar> not right now

<GoodTimeWithScar> but

<Grian> no im having the time fo my life lol

<GoodTimeWithScar> im not scar

Grian experienced kinetic energy

<GoodTimeWithScar> that is

Well, at least Grian's questions of what had happened to his body and Scar's soul were answered now. He decided to go find Scar, and see if he had any idea what to do now. He left Scar's treehouse, opened his elytra-- mechanical elytra, he'd have to get used to those again-- and took off.

He flew towards Scarland's main street at first, before realizing his mistake; he set his own spawn point at his own base, so that would be where Scar was. Sure enough, when he approached his base he also saw a figure with black-and-white wings circling around the rocks floating high in the sky. It was a surreal sight.

Grian ascended up to where Scar was flying around-- quite clumsily, he should add-- and called out to him: “Scar!” he landed on top of a rock, nearly losing his balance but regaining it by using Scar's cane. Scar, who had been singing to himself, looked in his direction.

“Flying around, so gracefully on the wings of a- WHAT IN THE WORLD!” Scar shouted, the sight of Grian spooking him so much he involuntarily flexed his wings, and he began to fall down.

Grian watched Scar plummet down and try to recover, frantically flapping the wings but not letting them catch any air, before eventually hitting one of the rocks floating lower down and dissolving into white smoke. Grian winced, and began gliding down again, towards his bed this time.

He touched down just in time to see himself rolling out of his own bed, visibly shaken. Scar looked in his direction and startled again, falling back onto the bed.

“That was hard to watch. Hello, Scar,” Grian said to him.

“I don't- who are you and how have you- wait.” Scar stammered, before stopping to think for a second.

“...Grian?” his expression on Grian's face was dumbfounded. I hope I don't look like this much of a loser when I'm myself, Grian thought to himself.

“Yeah. It seems we've done a bit of a switcheroo for some reason. What, did the wings not give that away to you?”

“Yeah, but I thought we'd just merged together for some reason! I didn't think you would be in my body!”

“And that didn't concern you for even a second?”

“No, I was having too much fun for that. Look, dude, I have wings now!” Scar said, and spread his wings out again.

“Yeah, I know, those are my-” Grian didn't finish his sentence, distracted by the sight of Scar jumping up and flapping the wings, not gaining any air at all, and faceplanting into the ground. He groaned.

“You just respawned. You have to give them a few minutes before they work again.”

“That's lame,” Scar said, sitting up. “Anyway, what should we do now?”

“I dunno. Maybe we should go check on some of the other people that've come back, see if they're- what's so funny?” Grian said to Scar, who was giggling.

Scar stifled his laughter, and waved his hand. “Nothing, nothing. Keep talking.” His smile looked very out of place on Grian's face.

“Right. So, check on the other peeps, or maybe we should talk to X and see if- why are you laughing?”

Scar's giggle had evolved into a full-on laugh now. “I'm sorry!” he said between wheezes, “It's just... I sound so stupid with a British accent.”

Then he added, doing a terrible imitation of Grian's accent: “'maybe we should go see X to-' see, I just sound normal now!”

Grian pursed his lips, then whacked Scar on the shoulder with his cane. He half-expected to feel the impact in his own shoulder as well, but fortunately that wasn't in effect anymore.

“Hey, back off!” Scar said in response. “You know, technically you're hitting yourself when you do that. Self-harm is very unhealthy, don't you know?”

“Oh- you're one to talk, mister powdered-snow-baths!” Grian responded. “Anyway, I think I'm going to go check on Tango and Etho now. You wanna come with, or...?”

“Okay!” Scar said, before standing up again. “Let's fly, bird boy! Wait, no I'm the bird boy now. Let's fly, elf boy!” With that, he spread his wings out once again, and successfully took off this time. Grian grabbed a firework rocket and followed suit.

“Remember, Scar, I'm using regular elytra now. So if you fall, I'm not gonna be able to catch you.”

“Oh, you think I'm gonna fall? Of course not, I am an expert at flying with wings now! Did you not see me practicing...” Scar's voice faded into the distance as he moved closer and closer to the ground, too distracted by talking to keep his altitude consistent.

Grian heard his own voice yelp from below, and burst out laughing. Server-moving bugs aside, it was nice to be flying again. It was good to be back.

(next)

[tmntxthings]

I feel like Donnie would try to give that toaster an AI system sksks

skskskskskss PART TWO DRABBLE???

Why am I thinking of that old cartoonish movie where the toaster talks and goes on an adventure 💀 that’s not what I’m gonna write but still… anywho I AGREE HE WOULD

part one

—————————————————————————

It didn’t take the tech genius long to fix a broken toaster. In fact one could say it only took him an hour or so… and with you back at school, Donatello still had a lot of free time to tinker around with the kitchen appliance. Since you seemed to find it so endearing, enough to talk to, Donnie decided to give it more than just a simple refurbishment.

That wasn’t really his style. He’d program it to do way way more than just toast bread. With that, he got to work. Shelldon would fly by a couple of times, mostly to say, “you’re making a talking toaster??”

“Yes. Yes I am.” Was the only response he could come back with. Because yeah, it sounded ridiculous. But if you wanted to talk to the toaster, wouldn’t it be even cooler if it or rather “he” talked back? He could just picture your face. Racing back from school to see Donnie’s progress, and the amazement you would have to find ‘Buddy’ as you called him, could talk. And not only talk but think for itself/himself. And toast bread too of course..

Yes he liked to imagine you would be amazed. Starry eyed and smiling brightly at him. Happy with himself and his near future he worked harder on this little project. Going as far as giving Buddy a few new designs, not the generic silver, adding his signature color. One stripe of purple going all the way around, and another stripe including your favorite color. (He’d have to work on a face display later..)

All that was left to do was to plug it- him in! Donnie would’ve liked to do a few test runs but it seemed time had flew over his head and he could hear you calling out your arrival from the lair entrance. With a ninja’s speed, he raced to the kitchen, plugging the toaster’s cord into the wall and ran back out to greet you.

“Greetings Dearest!! How was your day?” Donnie spoke quickly trying to catch his breath while smiling widely. “Oh Dee it was great! We did this and that..” you droned on about your day. And usually Donnie would listen with rapt attention. But his thoughts were on your soon-to-be reaction. Of making your little friend come to life. So as you continued to talk about school, classes, friends and everything else his hand reached out grabbing yours.

You continued to talk as he not so subtly pulled you into the kitchen. It seemed his patience was wearing thin when you didn’t immediately notice the toaster, so he made a little noise in the back of his throat to get your attention. “Guess what I did today?” He prompted and your eyes brightened. “Did you finish??” Donnie didn’t need to confirm that though because your face turned to the toasters sitting side by side.

“Oh my goodness!!!!! Donnieeeee!!!! Buddy looks so good!!” You squealed and squeezed his hand excitedly before letting go to get a closer look. Donatello was reeling with happiness, just over the moon at your approval. Of course he knew you would like it. Obviously, it was his tech after all. “Donnie fixed you up nice and snazzy huh Buddy? And look you’re sitting with a friend hehe!!”

Donatello was waiting with bated breath. It was supposed to react to its name ‘Buddy.’ But as the toaster sat there in silence, Donnie felt his hopes crash. “It was supposed to- exasperated groan!!” The purple turtle said as he sidled up next to you. Grabbing the toaster and inspecting it for malfunctions or any faulty points.

“Supposed to what?” You questioned curiously. Watching as he examined the kitchen appliance with great care. “Talk, it-“

“Heeee”

“Right, he was supposed to reply..” Donnie grumped. And found the cause to all his woes. Of course he forgot to flip a certain switch in his haste. “Okay okay Dearest try again!” He said after placing Buddy back down.

“Hey Buddy!” You said enthusiastically and after a second or two the toaster responded in kind. Greeting you cheerfully with your name. You were jumping up and down, squealing with happiness once more and Donnie watched with a pleased expression. Buddy needed more work, Donnie only had half a day to work with. But his mind was already spinning with ideas, ways to make it- him more lifelike.

You had continued talking to Buddy, but he only had a few phrases before he started to repeat himself. “I’m not finished yet,” Donnie made sure to say. Because he could always make something better. You were giving him the goofiest grin, shaking your head as you turned to him. “What?”

“You!”

“Me?”

“You’re just too amazing,” and with that you were jumping into his arms. He readily caught you. Enjoying the sound of your laughter, his own joining in. “Glad you noticed,” he teased with a wink. Causing you to roll your eyes. “My boyfriend knows no bounds,” you continued on though your compliments were turning a bit sarcastic. “Indeed, he’s magnificent. A brilliant mind! One of the greates—“

His speech was cut off by your lips. He couldn’t help but chuckle, returning the kiss. This tactic of shutting him up was one that he didn’t mind. Nope not at all. He’d have to gloat more often if this was to be the effect. You pulled back, planting one more kiss to his snout, “Shall I grab Buddy? For his adventures back into the genius lab?”

He nodded, placing you back down on your feet and watching you with such endearment. “I was thinking..” he mused. “Hmm?” “Well I think we can come up with a better name than Buddy!” Donnie turned his back so you couldn’t see his smirk. Leading the way back to his lab. You gasped, “What’s wrong with Buddy?!” A back and forth ensued, you defending Buddy’s name and Donnie teasing you with more sophisticated names. Truthfully he wouldn’t change it. He just liked to bicker, especially with you. You were just too cute.

[jpitha]

Just a Little Further 9

Part 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8

Standing in front of the line of us waiting for the airlock to cycle, I don't think I've ever been this nervous! Even during my graduation, waiting to find out if I was selected for FarReach's mission, nothing was as nerve wracking as this. But, I had to be strong. I was going to represent humanity and K'laxikind here. I took a deep breath, held it for two, and let it out through my nose. Here we go.

The outer lock door cycled and the first thing that I noticed was the smell of the umbilical. It wasn't bad so much as it was unfamiliar. My nose was inundated with smells I've never smelled before. Starbases have a smell about them. They're self contained units where sometimes thousands of sapients will live work and play together, of course they're going to smell. Doesn't matter how fastidious you are about cleaning, something just permeates the walls. This was list that but...different. The smells of thousands of sapients I've never seen before.

The second thing I noticed was how warm it was! It was warm and moist like a hot summer day. We don't normally keep our Starbases this warm or moist. Moisture promotes corrosion and heat is cheap to make, but expensive to dissipate. It was odd.

I walked down the short umbilical until I reached the door to the Starbase. Like ours, it was an iris type door. Maybe that's universal. "FarReach, you're sure the gases on the other side are breathable?" I asked, one last time.

"Sensors indicate that they're pretty close to Earth and K'lax, Melody." FarReach said kindly. "The specific gas mixture is a little different. A touch more xenon than what we use, maybe just a bit less carbon dioxide. Oxy levels are fine though, you can breath it no worries."

"Okay then, here goes..." and I touched the pad by the iris.

With a whoosh, it snapped open. That's way faster than home, I was startled. I looked out, surprised and I saw them.

It was a group of 6 sapients in front, with a small crowd behind them. Three of them had iridescent feathers! They looked almost like gigantic birds! They had wings even! I wonder if they could fly. The other three were more like they were a sea creature long in their past. They had tentacles they stood on, and looked like they had no bones. If you squinted, maybe they looked like Octopuses, but they didn't really look like octopuses. Just the tentacles and the lack of bones and the large, wet eyes, though they weren't dripping or anything. They were standing apart though. With a large space between them. That's odd. I would have figured that they would be all together.

One of the bird looking ones took a step forward and said "Welcome! This is Reach to the Might of Vzzx. I am Starlight on a Moonless Evening, this is The Smell Of The Ocean and there is Rapid River Roaring."

They took a step back and then, one of the octopus people took a step forward. "Welcome from us as well! I am Vivvix, this is Zemmlin and over here is Ottarn."

Then, Vivvix took a step back and waited. This must be some kind of ritual. Mentally, I shrugged and took a step forward. I took a breath and said "Thank you for your warm welcome! My name is Melody Mullen, with me is my Captain Selem Q'ari, our linguist Fer’resi Perinem and one of our engineers, Omar Adel." At each mention of their names, everyone nodded or did something to indicate which person I was talking about. Fer'resi did a little wave even!

After I finished and the ritual seemed complete, I took a step back. Only then, did I notice how they reacted.

Maybe the nano bots programed me with some extra ability to tell facial expressions, but everyone seemed shocked.

Like, if they were humans, they'd be jaws on the floor shocked.

Uh oh. This keeps happening.

One of the bird people, The Smell of the Ocean I think, spoke. "S-So, you can understand us?" They asked haltingly.

I nodded, then realizing they might not know that gesture said "Yes, I can understand you..." Was I not supposed to be able to? "Can you understand me?"

The Smell of The Ocean's feathers ruffled. Maybe they were embarrassed? They were uncomfortable about something. "A bit, yes. But you are..." They stopped. Their head rotated slightly. Their eyes are more forward on their face than Earth birds so they must have binocular vision but for the life of me it looked like they were trying to get a look at me out of both eyes. Maybe an ancient instinct that has turned into body language. They took a deep breath and started again. "I am speaking my people's standard spacefaring tongue. You can understand me?"

"Yes" I said, puzzled.

They did their version of a nod. I wonder how I knew that? They spoke again "Now, I am speaking the language of the Northern Continent of my people's home planet. It hasn't been spoken outside of legal briefings for five thousand cycles. Today, it is more a ceremonial language than anything. Only people like me can understand it, and even then only haltingly. I was a student of it, and so can speak it fluently. There are fewer than one thousand of us." They stopped and stared at me. "Do you understand me?"

My eyes went wide. "Y-Yes, I understand you." I answered quietly.

With an expression that I could only describe as their version of raised eyebrows, Zemmlin looked at them, then at me, and spoke. "I see what they are doing, let me try. I am speaking my people's home planetary language. My... colleague The Smell of the Ocean here does not understand it. Do you?"

Horror dawned. "Y-Yes, I understand it." I whispered.

It was my turn to reply. "When you speak to me, and I reply, am I replying in your language, or the same language every time?"

Starlight on a Moonless Evening replied this time. "Every time you speak, you are replying in the Holy Tongue."

I blinked. The what?

"I'm sorry, the what?"

Starlight made a gesture that I knew was a shrug. I couldn't tell you how I knew though. "The Holy Tongue. The language of the Gods. The words of the Builders."

That last one struck a chord. "Do you mean the builders of the Warp Gates?"

Rapid River Roaring laughed. "Who else would we mean, Holy One?"

Ugh, and I thought being called Lieutenant was bad.

Vivvex came forward now and said "It seems we all have something to learn from each other. We would like to learn how you came to us though the Warp Gates which we thought were long deactivated and are speaking The Holy Words and you... probably have things to ask us too. Do you take food? Come. It's meal time for us. We can eat and speak afterwards."

"L-let me talk to my companions for a moment please."

Vivvex nodded and took a step back. I turned around can faced everyone. "Okay, how much of that did you get?" I asked.

Fer'resi was the first to reply. "Um Melody, how many languages do you know? I noticed they kept taking turns talking to you in clearly different languages and you replied every time."

"I think I know... all of them" I said awkwardly. "I know, it sounds crazy, but they said I'm speaking "The Holy Tongue."

"The what?" Omar asked, incredulous.

"I know, right? I think they mean the language of the builders of the Warp Gate. Oh! They also said they thought the Gate was disabled until we came through it."

"Disabled?" Captain Q'ari said, thinking. "Given what we saw at the previous address, I hope we didn't unlock the door for something to come through here."

I didn't even think of that. "Oh shoot. I hope you're right." I clicked my radio "Hey FarReach, Gene, please keep an extra sharp eye out for anything following us through the Warp Gate. The locals say they thought it was disabled until we came through it."

"You got it Melody." Gene replied. "How's the meet and greet going?"

"I don't know Gene. I think they think I'm a living God."

"In a good way, or a bad way?" Gene asked in that joking but not really tone that humans use sometimes.

"Too soon to tell." I said honestly. "We're about to go to lunch I think,"

"Ooh, tell me if you eat anything good, tell me and I'll try it when I get to go ashore."

"Will do Gene. You take care. FarReach, I admit this is a long shot but how's the language model coming?"

FarReach chuckled. "I was just chatting with Fer'resi. It's tough to build a language model when you can understand everyone but keep replying in one language. We're getting something though. Fer'resi thinks it might be enough to be understood. We're going to be replying in your language though. If they really think it's a Holy Tongue, they might be uncomfortable at that. They must have translators though, let's see if we can buy or borrow one. That'll help."

"Good Idea. They invited us to lunch or something, so I'll ask then."

I turned to Captain Q'ari. "They want to invite us to lunch. Do you want me to say yes?"

Selem's ears twitched in a way that signaled resignation and frustration. Hah. I think I can tell K'laxi expressions better with these nano machines helping too! "We should probably accept, yes." She turns and looks at us. "Did everyone bring their portable mass spectrometers?"

We all have a small mass-spec on our wrists. It can scan food and drink and make sure there aren't any obviously poisonous things or K'laxi allergens in it. It won't tell us if things taste good, but it'll tell us if we can eat them without going into anaphylactic shock or ruining our livers.

Nods of yes all around. "Go ahead and accept the invitation Melody." Huh. She didn't call me Lieutenant Mullen. Interesting.

I turn back around. "After a little deliberation with my team, we would be grateful to accept your invitation to dine together. Please lead the way."

Again, they are taken aback at my speech. I have a hunch that they're just not used to someone speaking to them in the language I'm speaking to them in. It's like a language they have only read or studied in school and here I was talking to them in it like it was normal.

At least they mostly understood me, and I can apparently understand them in any language they speak.

Starlight bowed low and spread their wings and said "Wonderful. Please follow me."

They lead us away from the dock and as we walked I looked around.

The Starbase was different than the Joint K'laxi/Human Starbase I lived on before embarking. It was more...organic? Maybe it was a function of the fact that I think it was built out of an asteroid, but it definitely felt more grown than built in places. There were curves and smooth walls and dark grey and browns. The lighting was more organic feeling than back home too. It was warm and bright and led an airiness to the Starbase that it would be lacking otherwise. We were pretty far from this system's star and we were not in orbit around a planet, so the cheeriness was appreciated.

And the people! All kinds of people. I saw more of the bird people, more of the octopus people and so many others. There were these large bipedal beings in very complicated looking pressure suits. Maybe they're from a world that uses a different breathing mixture than here. There were ones with long legs with knees that were almost parallel with their heads! They had large segmented eyes like an insect and it always felt like they were watching us as we walked by.

Come to think of it, everyone was watching us as we walked by.

They weren't too happy about it.

My newfound ability to know everyone's body language was ringing alarm bells. Everyone hated to see us. Especially the Bird and Octopus people.

We turned a corner and came upon what I figured was the main promenade.

I nearly lost my footing I was so startled. It was gigantic! Far larger and more dense than any city I ever visited on Meíhuā. I've never been to Earth, but I bet this was more crowded than some Earth cities! It was so tall too. More than 200 meters straight up if I had to guess. There were windows and lights and signs all the way up.

While we were walking Fer'resi was trying his best to speak with The Smell of The Ocean. I could understand both of them, so it was a little odd to hear.

"Um, what about this. Hello?"

"Oh, I got that one! Hello!"

"Amazing! Try this: My name is Fer'resi, what's yours?"

Ocean shook his feathers sadly "I didn't get that, friend."

Fer'resi made notes in his pad. This time, his translator spoke "Do you understand this?

Ocean rippled surprise. "I do understand it. But your accent is very thick. How did you do that?"

Fer'resi smiled. "Our Ship, FarReach helped. We're working together to build a language model. If you have a translator we can purchase or borrow, we can refine it further."

Ocean made an expression that I knew was a nod. "We do have them. I'll make sure you get one, yes. You can even keep it to help refine your language model, provided you provide us with an update so we can update our translators as well."

Fer'resi frowned and made more notes. "I got the majority of that, but I missed part of it. Oh well. We'll get more accurate with time."

I had a thought. "Hey Fer'resi. Speak to me in English."

"Um okay." He thought a moment. "Now is the time for all good men to come to the aid of the party."

"Coming to the aid of what party?" I asked, confused.

He chuckled. "It's apparently old filler text that people used to use on mechanical type writing machines. It's nonsense. But, you did understand it?"

"I did. It was easy."

"I have a feeling Melody, that you now can understand every language. I have no idea what those nano machines did, but they clearly edited the language processing part of your brain. I wonder what the limitations of it are. We should experiment later."

"Sure Fer'resi, we can do that."

Vivvix turned back to me "Holy One, why are you armed?" We notice the weapons on your back."

ughhh, I hate that. "Please don't call me Holy One, my name is Melody. I'm armed because we weren't sure what to expect and we wanted to come prepared. I'm the only one armed because I'm the best shot here, and we didn't want to come across as warlike with us all being armed. It was a compromise."

Vivvix's skin subtly changed color, a nod. Neat! "I see, thank you... Melody. Will you be armed in future visits?"

I shrugged. "I don't know yet." I said carefully. If everyone is... not a threat then... I don't see a reason to come armed next time."

Vivvix gave their version of a smile, but I was able to tell it was fake. "That's very nice to hear. Thank you"

Now that sounded menacing. I think I'm going to continue coming to this Starbase armed.

Rapid River Roaring led us towards a large stone looking building near the center of the promenade. It was either very old or meant to look very old. In front were a fountain and a statue of a being in a pressure suit looking out onto the promenade making a grand gesture. The fountain and the statue were carved in the same stone of the Starbase. "Here we are. It's the administration offices for Reach of the Might of Vzzx. There is a cantina here that offers many different kinds of food. I'm sure we can find something pleasing for you to consume here."

As they approached the building Captain Q'ari stopped dead. She was staring at the statue and was clearly frightened, almost shaking. Fer'resi, noticing her, followed her gaze and also immediately was frightened. "M-Melody." Fer'resi said, his voice catching. "Look at the statue."

I turned at looked at it and gasped. Omar noticed us, followed our gaze and softly said "holy shit."

It was a human woman.

Part 10

[vanosslirious]

BBS Dialogue Prompts #322

ʙʙꜱ ᴅɪᴀʟᴏɢᴜᴇ ᴘʀᴏᴍᴘᴛꜱ & ꜱᴇɴᴛᴇɴᴄᴇ ꜱᴛᴀʀᴛᴇʀꜱ: [ 13 ]

SMII7Y

Goddamn, how am I supposed to clean that?

True, I can just rappel down.

It doesn’t even set up on these walls.

I feel so professional right now.

Bro, stop, I’m on a scaffold, it’s dangerous.

Dude, I don't have my rope.

Wow, it’s like a different world in here.

The outside is still disgusting, I’m going to be 100% with you.

Let me hear it, gimme it.

It’s all downhill...

Might be awhile until I have another one.

I didn’t think it was that close.

I’m sorry, this normally doesn’t happen.

I was literally about to say that.

Put it on the roof!

Yes you can!

Bro, let’s look at the sights together.

Bro, we were supposed to leave it up there, how did you grab that?

You know what, you bring up a good point.

Line it up but right next to me.

VANOSSGAMING

You tip zero?

Is that the delivery man’s fault?

Yeah, let’s do this.

Wow, it takes two hits.

Well, now you can show us the way.

I feel like I’m being pranked.

Is it made out of cheese?

Finally one that doesn't work so well.

Ah, fucking get me an audition.

I shot you point blank.

GRIZZY

Wait, wait, is there another one?

I have five keys.

This is me and you, old lady.

What did I miss, I literally closed my eyes for a second.

I tried to take her down!

I'm gonna murder this old hag.

Somebody is flying out that window.

You have IQ?

I don't know if that's how it works.

Bro, I can't even explain that, I'm just dogshit.

TERRORISER

I'm going back in there, aren't I, for fuck sake.

Time to die, I guess.

He's walking through walls now, sick.

I know he's behind me, fuck this…

Alright, bitch, buy me some candles.

Shut up, stop talking.

How did I win?

How come you didn't message me on my birthday with the calendar?

Sorry, didn't mean to scare ya.

Jeez, you are sick.

ELILIKESRICE

Vampires holding guns in general is funny.

I thought you can read my mind.

I drink blood 'cuz it reminds me of kool-aid.

God, just put on a shirt, please!

I'm only 5'10.

He wronged us too many times.

They hit the pentagon.

I sacrificed myself.

Help, I'm gonna die, you fucks.

That's it, I've had enough.

BASICALLYIDOWRK

I'm getting hit by everything, bro.

I'm not paying my mortgage until we win.

You guys got about fifteen more minutes for my prescribed Adderall kicks in, and all the wind is fucking flowing in.

Press the fucking button, you dipshits!

Cut him off, it's the last guy, cut him off.

You got this, I believe.

We already qual'd, you dumb ice-cream fuck.

You can, but it's just going to be hard.

I don't know what that means.

I heard a door open.

JERICHO

Get off of the keys!

How do I get out of here?

Now, cut me in on the deal, exactly as you promised.

Wow, that is really difficult.

I'm just gonna go ahead and do this real quick.

Can you carry my body back to the van?

We have forty-two seconds left.

Don't be a hero.

I don't know how to activate it.

What is this bag here?

NOGLA

No, I got it covered.

Hold on, I gotta kill this guy.

That's my title.

Honestly, I zoned out completely.

Watch how bad this guy is.

No one has paid a penny yet.

If it was ten thousand, it would’ve selled.

You guys do whatever the fuck you want but leave me alone.

Stop what you're doing!

Okay, I figured it out, it’s this way.

BLARG

I'm on top of this man, and he's not dying.

I might have gotten executed in the back of the head.

That was violent.

Wait, just stand still.

This is such a-brother-and-sister-and-guy-we-bought-drugs-from-moment!

Yay, reviving the better player.

We're going for a ride!

How do I not die?

I think the door hit the dog in the head, because there's blood everywhere. 

Oh, I fell over and died.

WILDCAT

What did you get, did you get something good?

He's not near the bikes, fuck off!

Dude, he was just with us.

Only the killers can hear dead people.

I think you and I have the best read on our friends, you know, that's why I want to work together.

That fucking guy flopped the fuck over.

He's trying to act all scared around me.

I knew you were a bad boy.

What do you need to help him do?

Why do you ask a question and run away?

BIGPUFFER

He never gonna find me.

I can't kill anyone.

I'm out of ammo.

I lost so many points!

You can teleport through the sewer system? 

Fuck you, how about that, huh, you little idiot!

Really, you're gonna do me like that?

I literally didn't notice you.

Wait, what did I just see for a second there?

Wait a minute, I'm getting eaten!

H2ODELIRIOUS

I don’t think he can hit me.

Maybe he can’t see me.

I’m a spectral anomaly.

Where the hell did you go?

It’s not personal, it’s just you.

There’s a rabbit taking a bath.

This is my nightmare!

Alright, I should be scared.

That’s not what I meant!

I’m in the garage, I just heard her.

FL0M

Are you just blowing up vaults, dude?

Alright, hacker.

I can't believe they got beyblades in this game, this is incredible.

Oh my God, you can kill them.

Back the fuck up!

This is the heist, motherfuckers.

Hey, knock that shit out.

Make sure they're fucking dead.

Alright, I might've shot him.

Wait, you got the submarine, what the fuck!

[mcflymemes]

THE SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS MOVIE (2004) PROMPTS *  assorted dialogue from the film, adjust as necessary

my eyes!

pull up your pants, [name]. we're going home.

did you see my underwear? did you want to?

i love being purple.

his chops are too righteous.

you don't need a license to drive a sandwich.

it's some kind of wall of psychic energy.

you two dipsticks wouldn't last ten seconds over the county line.

we paid nine dollars for this?

who turned on the ac?

i suppose i can't execute you.

that's it! i'm through with messing around!

are men afraid of anything?

hey, you know, i actually feel a little better.

i don't even remember why i was sad.

wow, the pressure is already setting in.

your life is in our hands.

hey, look! free ice cream!

i'm making a complete what of myself?

wait, how did you know my name?

eww, i think i stepped in something.

you know, david hasselhoff was a great artist.

stalling? i'm not stalling anything.

are they laughing at us?

don't worry. this'll only hurt a lot.

after going on your life-changing journey, you now realize that you don't want what you thought you wanted. what you really wanted was inside you all along.

are you crazy?

i was just going to say that your fly is down.

this is the greatest day of my life!

i haven't felt this giddy since the day you agreed to be my wife.

lord knows i've tried.

all bubble blowing babies will be beaten senseless by every able-bodied patron in the bar.

i'm supposed to get a toy with this.

i am 100% man!

there. i think i made my point.

you said it yourself, this is man's country. and let's face it. we're just kids.

we don't belong out here.

we do not worship him!

oh... it's evil. it's diabolical. it's lemon-scented!

i got you right where i want you.

can i help you with something?

i've been hired to exterminate you.

you caught me and my friend here in a good mood today, so i'm gonna let you off with a warning.

they were fake?

of course they were fake!

uh, perhaps i've said too much.

that's a big boot.

hold on there, baldy.

oh, grow up. what, you think this is a game of kickball on the playground?

you never had a chance to defeat me!

i'm an evil genius. and you're just a kid.

i guess you're right.

you know, i've been through a lot in the past six days, five minutes, twenty seven and a half seconds.

if i've learned anything during that time, it's that you are who you are.

that's great. now get back against the wall.

i did what everyone said a kid couldn't do!

all right, we get the point!

okay, settle down. take it easy.

too bad [name] isn't here to enjoy [name] not being here.

i couldn't agree more.

there's something i need to say first. i just don't know how put it.

[stuffymcstuffsworld]

I'll be home soon

It was only supposed to be for two days, nothing major. You were supposed to go there, give a lecture, and then head back home. That's it. But now the cowering demon before you, the one who drew the unlucky straw in giving you the bad news, now feared for their life.

After telling you that the storm outside made it impossible for travel and that it may last for several days, even a week at most, they saw something dark flash in your eyes. There was no way you were staying away from home for a week because of some silly storm. Your family was waiting.

You should go, they said. It will be fun, they said. Oh, you couldn't wait to give them an ear full when you did get back. "Leave." You snapped, watching the pathetic worm scramble out the door.

Your hands twitched, and you bit your lip. This was not the time or place to let yourself go. This was not a safe place, and there was no one here to hold you or defend you at this moment. You would just have to hold yourself together till you got home.

*****Sullivan's pov******

Sullivan stared at the phone on his desk, drumming his nails against the wood. A storm. Unpredictable weather was often an unfortunate part of living in Hell. But still, the fact that this occurred while his child was away was stressful.

Were you alright? Were you warm enough? You were all alone there. What if you needed attention? You certainly weren't going to ask a random demon for some. Were you? So many questions rang throughout his mind.

But... what was he going to tell the children? Both he and you had said that you would be back on two days. Now the trip was a week, possibly more? They would get worried. They adored you.

Iruma had already been nervous enough by the fact that you would be far away. The old demon sighed in frustration. You were his pride, iruma was his joy. You wouldn't just sit there and wait. He knew this. Yet, he couldn't help but worry.

What if they get hurt? His Hellphone buzzed in his pocket. Knowing it was you, he quickly checked the message. "Papa, don't worry, I'll be home as planned." He chuckled. How in devis' name were you going to accomplish this?

You and iruma were always surprising him. He'd just have to wait and see. He should tell the children, though else they get strange ideas such as going to find you themselves.

****you again****

Well, you couldn't fly in the first place, but the storm crossed out magical creatures, flying carpets and brooms as well. Then, cross out the carriage, too. You could barely see out the window, let alone drive. You released a small tsk in irritation.

This also left out walking. There's no need to get lost trying to find your way home. Pacing the carpet, you tried to think.

Summoning circles were out. You might accidentally summon an unknown Demon, and if you asked Papa to summon a human, iruma would most likely be the only thing popping up in it since he was far closer. So think. Water travel... no no telling where you might end up.

You didn't have floo powder, so the fireplace was out... you would have to test that theory later, though. Focus! You walked up to the chalkboard about to write more ideas down when it hits you. You eyed the piece of chalk laying in your palm.

It couldn't be that simple... could it? You remember old stories telling children to not draw doors on the wall, least they invite unwanted guests. You originally thought it was a parent's way of saying stop drawing on the walls, but...maybe.

It was worth a shot. You drew a door. Waiting with baited breath. It opened a crack to reveal a pair of purple eyes. "Who you? What you want?" It sqeaked. Oh, oh how fascinating.

"I am someone child of anyone who you?" You weren't stupid. You couldn't just throw your name around. "Name trinket your name sound fake." You gasped. "How dare you! I'll have you know that the one family name goes back generations! All the way to my great great great grandfather, no one."

Trinkets eyes narrowed. "What you want with trinket child of anyone." This is where you needed to be careful. "I need safe passage to my home. My children are waiting." Crossing your arms, you waited.

"Mmmmmm, what you give trinket in return?" Good question. "Does trinket like trinkets?" You asked carefully. You spotted greed in their eyes, and you smiled. "Well, I have many shiny trinkets, and I am happy to share."

A low hum and the door opened a smidge wider. "One for every child you have." Trinket demanded. You pretended to think. "Oh, generous trinket, I have 13 children. Will you take 7 trinkets now and the rest when I am safely home with them?" It squirmed and squealed.

"Yes, yes, shinny first and after." A scrawny hand egarly reached out. "And you promise I won't be harmed?" Still reaching out the hand grasped desperately.

"Yes, yes, as long as yous follow trinket, not a scratch." Slowly, you pulled out your earrings and handed them over. "One." Carefully, you pulled out the jewled clips holding your hair in place, "three" trinkets voice pitching in excitement.

You handed it your bracelets next. "Six" lastly a necklace place into its excited hands. "Seven!" The door swung open, and it scrambled down a long corridor. "Follow, follow."

You laughed. Silly creature. You knew it was lying. It hadn't even asked where you lived. All you wanted was the door open. You stepped in and made your way down the corridor, ignoring trinkets calls and giggles.

How did you know where to go? Simple because you used your mana to create a thread. That string always leads you to babyls, so it wasn't hard to navigate.

Trinkets' voice got farther and farther away. You stopped when the string pointed up. Glancing up, you spotted a grate. Oh! Someone is going to get in trouble when you get home. Climbing out, you reinforced the grate to make sure nothing could follow you.

Camu camu was staring at you in surprise. "Camu, if I were you, I'd move shop." The little demon was quick to pack. You made your way outside of school.

The weather wasn't so bad on this side of the tunnels, but still. It took longer than expected. Walking down the familiar path to the large house where your family awaited you.

Swinging open the door, you spotted many egar faces waiting for you. "Sorry I'm late!" You called as you r swarmed up into a large demon pile. Ah, yes, you could finally relax.