#only to discover your best friend has frozen to death because you were both too stubborn

[novelconcepts]

This show is incredible, and has so many scenes that are just haunting.

[platrom]

Infinity.

PROLOUGE.

JJK x READER

SUMMARY: In every universe, Ryomen Sukuna will find you, whether it is by chance or not. But only time can tell if you awake to discover your doomed fate.

WARNINGS: Heian era, reference to murdering of newborn girls in families, reference to being unloved, Uraume is cruel, servants are poorly treated and killed, Sukuna is idealized, reader has a best friend :)

MASTERLIST | NEXT CHAPTER

i. bliss

The springtime is always beautiful in Japan. Children tear away from the insides of their machiyas and frolic outside, dancing to the sway of the cherry blossoms and the tweeting of the birds. Parents tear away from work to spend a moment gazing at the beauty of life, and the world sings at the generosity of their gods.

But this year, unlike any other, has been far more prosperous.

Umes, ajisais, and himawaris have sprouted for the first time in decades. The elders are pleased to see the flowers of their childhood, ones that had disappeared for so long, had come to life.

The townspeople are kinder and more genuine. More bargaining is taking place and more vendors are being generous with their customers. Free fruits are being handed out to parents and sips of sweet juice are being given to playing children.

The rumors say it is Lord Sukuna’s doing. The world is coming to life because he is choosing his bethroted tonight.

Women from all over the land have arrived to his estate. Peasants, aristocrats, and royalty from all regions have traveled miles to reach the prosperous land of Ryomen Sukuna, where no battle has ever been lost. He is a permanent legend in Japan’s history.

The world will remember his name.

“Who do you think Lord Sukuna will choose?” Aguri sighs, sweeping the sides of the corridor. Speckles of black drift from the ends of the broom to the corner of the room. “I heard Akazome Emon is a high contender. Her poems are moving— I’ve heard.”

A silence settles. What she means to say is if she could read, she’d know. But as a maid as low her, you’ll never learn to read kanji. Her family had come from poverty, anyway. Aguri, as her parents called her, was an unwanted child. Just like her name’s meaning— excess. They had too many girls, all her parents desired was a boy who could carry on their name.

She was not, and so they left her behind to sweep floors and wash grime wherever a stray like her would be allowed.

It’s a fate better than being buried alive.

“She will be lucky to have him, if he chooses her,” you offer as you scrub down the walls. The pail beside your foot shakes as you step into it. “It is not our place to decide what our lord favors. It is his choice and his bride.”

Aguri pouts. You grin.

“No matter what, I’m sure Lord Sukuna will find a spouse worthy of ruling beside him and all will be well in Japan.”

“You’re staring to sound like Uraume,” Aguri nudges your hip. You elbow her back. “You and them can take place as Sukuna’s most loyal servant.”

“(Name).”

The two of you fall silent. To your left is Uraume themself, staring silently at you and Aguri. A seedling of fear festers in your stomach, flooding your system.

Your mouth glues shut, and you both bow your heads.

“The Frozen Star,” is all you offer. The ends of your hair slide against the smooth floor. It is black like the hearts of the direct subordinates of Sukuna and as dead as the heart of the king.

It is ruthless and eternal, just like Sukuna.

“You are summoned to the maid headquarters. Come with me immediately,” they order. Instantly, you move to their side, keeping your eyes trained on the ground. Uraume scoffs.

“And you,” they refer to Aguri, “if these floors are not spotless when I come around again, you will be fed to the curses.”

Your eyes may not see her, but your soul does. You can feel the way she trembles in fear, the promise of death far too close to comfort.

These threats were common. In fact, you both had watched your fellow maids been fed to those ghostly spirits that lurked in the bottom of Sukuna’s estate. Monstrous and deformed faces that foamed at the mouth at the site of a terrified human that got shoved into their cage, prepared to be eaten by another lifeless creature.

It was only a matter of time until you were next. One mistake was all it took for your life to end in the Sukuna estate.

Maybe living outside the castle’s walls were easier.

But you had heard the tale of the curses that flooded the village in the dark hours of the night. The ones that rose at dusk and feasted at dawn. In Sukuna’s estate, they were tamed and chained. In the world outside, they were free and vicious.

All safety had a price to pay.

You wish you could defend Aguri against Uraume, but you are powerless. One word out of line and your head will be off your body.

Your fists clench at your side.

“Yes, Frozen Star,” Aguri responds quietly, kneeling down to the bucket beside her feet. Uraume scoffs and begins walking, leaving you to trail behind her tail.

ii. opportune

The walk is long. Your head remains lowered as you walk inches behind Uraume, a symbol of measly position beneath a loyal Sukuna subordinate.

Individuals like them are treated as royalty adjacent. The ones the king can trust are considered to be angels sent from God, meant to serve Lord Sukuna for all of their lives. They are one in few, but undoubtedly devoted.

You had heard tales from the cooks in the kitchen that Uraume and their fellow subordinates had been kidnapped once, but a neighboring kingdom. They were tortured, striped of their clothes, and humiliated in front of masses. When their captors dangled the possibility of freedom above their heads in exchange for information on Sukuna, their mouths stayed sealed, just as their cries of pain did, and they endured the beating of one thousand whips until the king himself saved them all.

When you told Aguri the story you heard as you passed the kitchen, stars grew in her eyes. She seemed enamored by the idea of such a strong leader caring so much about his men. Aguri would never doubt the greatness of Lord Sukuna.

As for you?

Your opinion is always better left unsaid.

Uraume suddenly stops, and you pause your movements. The ends of their robes sway.

Their eyes focus on the top of your head. You wait in silence, your eyes trained on the tips of your shoes.

They’re worn, black flats. The sides are tearing on the edges, and the curve around your ankle is beginning to flake as the string stitching it together frays at the edges. They were the standard shoes lowly maids were given to wear— typically, they belonged to previous workers who had either died of old age, or from being fed.

The men of the estate received the shoes of the men who had died in war. They worked outside, against the spirits of the night.

You don’t understand how they get selected. There are men who can see the spirits that work inside the castle, cooking and cleaning like the rest of the women. You’ve heard the words “cursed energy” and “technique” leave the mouths of those who perform such gruesome tasks.

You are glad you have none. You can only see the spirits, but not kill them. You can stay safe inside the walls of the estate.

“You have served Lord Sukuna exceptionally. You will now be in charge of cleaning the rooms of the servants,” Uraume pushes the door open and steps inside, leaving you to follow.

You’ve never seen this room, before. There are stacks of rollers with a thin, plastic film around a black handle in thick layers filling the highest shelves. In the middle shelves are the bedsheets you all use, rags sewn together by young girls to cover the thin and scratchy mattresses the estate grants. And on the lowest shelves lay bottles of clear, yellowish liquids and an assortments of colorful towels with splotches of dark gray all over.

Uraume nods. “These are at your disposal. You are expected to know how to use all of these materials and clean all rooms by the end of the week.”

You bow. “Yes, Frozen Star. Thank you.”

She leaves.

iii. fulfillment

Somehow, cleaning the quarters of the maids is worse. It is a change from your previous routine— scrubbing the floors with Aguri, dusting the shelves, polishing the trinkets of the kingdom, and heading off to sleep after your measly meal of broth and whatever rotten vegetables were in the kingdom.

Now, you work alone. You must carry heavy sets of bedsheets and towels to each room, along with sets of rollers and bottles of spray. The cart they had generously provided was broken by another many years ago, but everyone has failed to notify Uraume.

The sides of your shoes are beginning to crack and tear even more, but you are certain any chance of getting a different pair of shoes is slim to none.

Nevertheless, the job does have its benefits.

While you clean the rooms of the higher-up maids, you have found little trinkets stuck underneath their beds or on the floor. Little bows, scrap pieces of porcelain fabric, and even bits of beads from heavens knows where.

You show them to Aguri every night, pleased with your findings. They are forgotten goods to you, perfect to make something special in the future.

Aguri is saddened by your move, however. She now works alone during the day and sometimes sits alone during supper while you run around cleaning. But the moments you two share in your quarters at night make up for it. You both gossip under the moonlight and giggle over the findings in the rooms.

In a few of the men’s quarters, you have found the undergarments of another woman. The suspicions you two have built against the others in the estate tend to be correct.

It is a joy to see love behind the dark walls of the castle. It sparks hope that even on the darkest of places, life can be grown.

#© platrom, plot / writing / banners & headers. do not repost, reblogs are appreciated! please consider leaving a comment and a heart! <3

[eponymous-rose]

Talks Machina Highlights - Critical Role C2E131 (March 30, 2021)

Tonight’s guests are Liam O’Brien and Sam Riegel!

Brian points out that a lot of Caleb’s greatest fears have come to pass. Liam: “It’s funny, because he’d kind of believed for a while that those things weren’t going to happen. After a while, he got complacent.” He notes that it was extra wild because everything with Trent popped up again in the midst of that complacency. And how did it feel to be defiant toward Trent? “I think Trent successfully made Caleb question if Caleb really was in control“ at the dinner party. “I feel like anything that I do is part of his plans for me, or is that just gaslighting? I’m legitimately scared of that dude.” Sam: “Of Matt?” Liam: “Sure.” He highlights the disconnect between knowing that the M9 is mechanically powerful and could possibly defeat Trent in a dice-and-stats battle, versus fearing him in a story sense and being convinced he can do almost anything.

Sam, on Luc’s death: “That was brutal, man. Matt Mercer is a-- he hates children! Clearly. He actively sought to kill a child in the campaign in as brutal a way as possible. He hates children and wants them dead. Canon. No, but to RP, that was horrible.” He highlights that so much of Veth’s arc has been about trying to get back to her family. “We had to choose something and we thought we were making the right choice. It was all Veth’s fault, and it was pretty rotten. My heart was beating pretty fast, and I certainly didn’t want to have my son die live on the stream. I don’t know what Veth would have done. That’s the end, that’s over. It’s almost worse than when your own character would die. This is something that would also kill Veth.” After the episode was over: “just shaken. I also didn’t know what to do next! That felt like a turning-point moment for my character, weirdly so close to what we assume to be the end arc of this campaign. I texted Matt later that night and was like, that’s it, Veth’s out, I’m tapping out.”

There’s an interlude in which Sam discovers a new dream to record an episode of this show from his Peloton. Dani informs him that she will not be inviting him back.

On Astrid, Liam: “I literally don’t know what she’s doing. I know that she’s dangerous, she always was ambitious, and there’s not been a moment where Caleb let his guard down with her. He’s not trying to reestablish what they had. He cares for the both of them, for Astrid and Eodwulf. He thinks about it a lot, still. He can’t tell how much she buys into everything that she experienced and is now living as a full-grown adult. He suspects that she’s bought in and is not going to change things, because she believes in the system, as much as he’d like to peel her away. He does believe that they want what’s best for the Empire, and stopping whatever wants to come vomiting out of a hole in the frozen north is good for everyone. And they’re powerful. They’re not trustworthy, obviously. But there’s enough at stake to make it worth it. He could imagine a situation where they fight each other to the death.” He was convinced Astrid was going to stop them when they left the tower and was really shocked when she held back. Sam: “Not me! I’ve trusted Astrid since day one. She’s the greatest! I sent a letter to her, she’s very nice, I think you guys would be a nice couple. I believe every word she says.”

On having to decide on Veth deciding to go off and save the world after Luc’s death. “Like I said, I was ready to be done. And then I decided somewhere in there that that’s not very D&D. So I thought I’d leave it up to somebody else, so I asked Caduceus to decide for me, essentially. She knows she’s putting her other family in danger if she doesn’t go. It’s an impossible choice, you know?” Liam: “I love watching you grapple with it, because you’re a lovely father and love your kids.”

On the Sanatorium, Sam: “That was brutal, man. Matt lulls you into a sense of complacency. We’d forgotten that Caleb was a stone-cold killer! It had been a while since he went on a murder spree. Still got it!” Liam: “I never meant for this character to be perfect sunshine.” Brian: “You don’t say.” Liam: “He’s very not-perfect, and I think in his brain, he was going in with the impression that they needed to get in and get out as soon as possible. The place is crawling with people with magic ability, and I didn’t have faith that we wouldn’t be sussed out or something wasn’t going to blow an illusion.” Everything was about getting out of there as fast as possible.

Did the conversation with Yeza help with Veth’s decision? “First of all, every conversation with Yeza is a beautiful one. Every time she talks to Yeza, it makes her feel good. In some ways, she’s gotten to the point now where she knows Yeza’s going to be supportive, she knows he’s going to allow her to do what she wants, but maybe that’s too much. Maybe she needs to not listen to him, basically, and be like, no, you need to be selfish now, dude, you need to say ‘come home, I’m sick of you leaving’. At a certain point, being supportive can turn into being enabling.”

Cosplay of the Week: Jester in the snow! (liljerbear47, photography by kairiceleste on Instagram)

On Trent’s motivations for chasing Caleb: “I really don’t know. The simplest explanation is to just hammer down the nail that’s sticking up. It has crossed his mind that all high-level wizards are in danger of their own ambition and egos, so it’s occurred to him that Trent might have the same kind of ideas that Halas had in the past, and maybe Caleb was always meant to be another body to jump into. Maybe in some sick, disgusting, twisted way, he wants him to be his successor. I am thinking of the next campaign, without getting too deep in, trying to do something that is much more ride-along. Caleb is very, very specific, and I thought long and hard about all the different pieces on the chessboard for him. For campaign three, I’m looking forward to seeing what happens.”

Dani: “Do I need to be keeping lore on your fucking ads?”

On the cursed dagger: “It was a tricky one, because in campaign one, one of the characters was under the influence of a cursed weapon, but it interacted with him and he knew what it was and what it did. And it affected his gameplay as a character. For me, Veth didn’t know what it was, ever. I as a player knew what it was doing, but Veth didn’t know at all. So it was kind of like my dirty, dark secret for many months. I knew this thing was coming perilously close to killing me, but my character didn’t know enough to bring it up to her friends. Nobody ever asked! So I was like, well, I guess this thing’s just going to kill me one day, and it’s kind of going to be a surprise.” Liam: “Sam, you love danger and self-destruction so much, you might as well be Mollymauk.”

On the fight in Yasha’s sequence, Sam: “You gotta put a character in your storm giant creature. It was so fun! It was so great of Matt to involve us in this encounter. It would’ve been fun just to watch, because Matt would have made it amazing and Ashley was sweating bullets, which is always fun to watch.” Sam notes he felt guilty, but Liam was going for the kill. Liam: “Matt’s gotta be careful about giving me that kind of story beat. I do not fucking care, I just fucking flip, I’m like, well, I’m going to destroy you, and I have no qualms about it. It’s too much fun!”

The Beau/Yasha tower date was in part inspired by not being able to give gifts as easily this last year. “This thing that we do together is a gift, but I love finding these moments, like the book for Jester and the tower for Yasha and for Beau. I really just wanted to give both of them a little magic for a night. I wanted them to leave this-- we’re trying to be as entertaining as possible, but shit is having an effect on all of us too, and I wanted them to have an escape, a great place to escape to.”

Fan Art of the Week: an amazing group shot, plus Marion, Yeza, and Luc! (vocaz on Twitter)

On choosing Essek over Trent, Liam: “It would have been so interesting and awful and great! Essek and Astrid and Eodwulf are everything that Bren used to be attracted to that are terrible for him. Essek, hopefully he can with time find a way out of the hole that he dug himself into, but it was only two months ago where he was found out and his ambitions came crashing down around him. Long-term, I have high hopes for him, but I think it’s going to be hard.” In contrast, Astrid and Eodwulf are still “deep in the shit. It would have been really hard to navigate, but fun to play at the table. We made the right choice with what we went with. Essek’s just getting started, and Caleb doesn’t trust him entirely, because he was burned so hard not too long ago. He’s still more trustworthy than the other three. So it’s the better choice. While Caleb has all these ties on the other side, they’re really fucking dangerous. So if you have to choose, you choose Essek. But fuck that die.” Sam: “Veth, much like Sam Riegel, makes instant decisions about whether to trust someone or not and sticks to it forever. Astrid, 100% trust. Eodwulf, 100% distrust. Essek, completely distrust. I still don’t think he’s a good guy. Ikithon? Trust. 100%. Because you know where he’s coming forward, you know what he wants. I still want him dead, but I trust him.”

On Veth’s post-adventuring plans: “Veth is probably still too in it right now to think about what comes next. I, Sam Riegel, have a good idea of what I want Veth to do post-campaign.” Brian: “Maybe you shouldn’t tell us. Save it for the show!” Sam: “All she knows is she can’t do this anymore. It’s very unhealthy to be battle-wounded every other day. It’s fun for a while, but college has to end at some point, and she’s gotta go home.”

On Frumpkin changing appearance and returning to the Feywild: “I don’t know what I’m going to do, but the way it feels now for Caleb is that he feels too enmeshed in everything that has happened, and too much good has happened, and too much needs to happened, that that really narcissistic, selfish goal has the risk of harming everything else, which is more important. And that’s how he looks at it now. So he’s gearing towards letting everything from the beginning of the campaign, and where he started, go, and trying to figure out what use he’s going to be now and what he’s going to do if they’re not all dead. If Matt throws that shit down, I don’t know what I will do, I think about it a lot. But turning Frumpkin white and saying you’re free either way is him preparing to let go of everything he’s been holding on to for a really long time. He’s addicted to that idea that he can fix himself, and we’ll see if that hard choice gets presented, what he might do. But where he stands now, he doesn’t think that’s going to be reality, and he sees a way that he can be of use that he never really anticipated before, so he’s slowly shifting gears towards living with the pain he was trying to remove.”

On the last request scene and confidence heading into Aeor, Sam: “I feel like that’s a good request. I think all of us realized that if we die, that probably bodes badly for the world. I feel like all of us are at a point now as characters and as friends, that the first order of business would be to take care of everybody else’s shit, although we probably have different ideas of how to do that.” Liam: “I want the Empire to be healed, Caleb has all these memories of his parents and what they wanted for the world, and he wants that too. It’s clearly not in place now, the system needs to be broken and replaced. That could be a part of Caleb’s sunset. I don’t want Caleb to die, so maybe he can work on that after. As everything starts to shake out and we start heading towards our destiny, Caleb’s just free-floating. He’s not even going after the same thing he started for. So he’s looking at Veth’s family, and Luc specifically, and seeing that’s me, that’s a little boy in the Empire.”

[thevoidscreams]

ok, so can i request quentin,yui, and felix with a survivor s/o! that’s a killers ex? like they’ll be in a chase together then the s/o and killer will stop and talk shit for 30 minutes while everyone else works on gens. or even worse if they are friends with ex (friends is pushing it, they’re on good terms because they’re scared for their frickin life), and will get along with killer during the trial and try to sacerfice them last. it can be any format, whatever works for you! have a great day/night! ❤️

(Sorry about any spelling or grammatical errors. Also the wait.)

Quentin: 

It would be an understatement to say that you were the world to Quentin Smith. You were his go to pillar for support and he was yours. Life outside the realm had been hard but existence in the Entity’s realm was a whole over nightmare and it was one he couldn’t wake up from.

Despite all that, there was one good thing about this new nightmare, and that was that he got to spend it with you. 

New people arrived periodically, as did new killers, but none of that seemed to bother you. Quentin had heard about the new monsters all the time from other survivors. Knowing that soon enough it would be something that he’d have to face. So he did his best to prepare. Staying with you when the Entity allowed, being calmed by your presence.

He despaired of being put in trials with you, the thought of hearing your screams as you were hooked, or watching you get downed by a killer’s weapon, it was simply something he could not become accustomed to. He loved you after all and seeing you hurt, especially by freddy, was unbearable. So his heart grew heavy as the fog that rolled over the camp swallowed you as well, depositing you alongside himself, Ash and Claudette in the AutoHaven. Grasping your hand he pulled you closer. “Come on, let's stick together.” You didn’t argue, squeezing his hand and giving him a soft smile. 

That plan quickly went to absolute hell. The Entity’s unfortunate choice of killer this round made you want to pull your hair out.

Rin Yamaoka. 

You'd dated briefly during your time as an exchange student in Japan. She was so beautiful and You'd fallen for her so fast. But it became too difficult to hide the nature of your relationship from her family and her father just about lost his mind when he discovered the two of you alone in her room holding each other. The jerk didn't even have the decency to knock, just burst in right as you kissed her cheek.

His yelling was still ingrained in your mind. His harsh biting words and the way he roughly grabbed you and quite literally threw you out of his house. Rin begging and crying the whole time for him not to hurt you.

You weren't allowed back over to their place after that.

The relationship petered out despite your best efforts to keep it alive with secret meetings in the park at night.

You cried when Rin officially broke things off. It was at one of your secret  rendezvous, she kissed you one last time and told you that despite how her heart was so full of love for you that her parents disapproved and the students were starting to catch on. She didn't want that kind of ridicule to fall on you.

You remained close for the whole of your time studying in Japan. When you left she saw you off and you gave her one last hug. Then she was gone and you got on the plane and flew away, but you left your heart in Japan.

Seeing her now you were frozen, stuck in place as your mind flashed through all your memories together and the tragic news of her death. Tears streamed down your cheeks and fell heavy to the ground below.

Likewise she stood frozen in place just staring at your face. "Rin…" the sound of her name was heavy on your tongue but even heavier on your heart.

Slowly your hand lifted to reach for her so close you could almost feel the chill of her ghostly form.

Your body jolted as you were pulled away and forced into a run. The heat of the hand holding yours was so very unlike the chill of Rin's body. 

"Are you okay? Did she hurt you?" Quentin gasped, panic dripping from every syllable.

"a long time ago." You whispered as you ran with your boyfriend, through the exit gate and far away from the phantom from your past.

Yui:

Yui was a tough nut to crack but when she finally opened up you found a sweet and very loving interior. She was everything you could want in a girlfriend. The others remarked on the relative ease with which you had gotten her to fall.

All of the other survivors took up a bet whether or not you could romance her before you had managed to get all the killers in a trial.

Turns out those betting on before were right on the money. At first you had thought it was fine to not have had to face all the creepy monsters this place had to offer. Turns out not knowing made things all that much harder, or rather, more awkward. 

Staring down Philip Ojomo was surreal to say the least.

Even as transformed as he was there was no doubt about it. The tall tree looking monster was your old boyfriend. To be honest he seemed just as lost for what to do about the situation as you.

"Uh… hi Philip." You waved a little, shyly almost and took a step forward. He shifted his feet as if to take a step back but stopped himself. "It sure has been a while huh?"

Your break up had been amiable, he was leaving to start a new job and your work was calling for you to leave as well, far away from the town with the junkyard and bloody car crusher that he had been called to. 

"May we talk?" The question was completely unorthodox, and probably not a good idea.

Sitting down to speak with a man meant to kill and sacrifice you to the Entity. But you asked him nonetheless.

To your surprise he did. He sat with you on the damp earth and you both spoke for a long time, until the exit gates opened and you had to leave.

He offered you his hand cordially, and you accepted it happily.

At long last you had managed to catch up and had learned about what happened to each other. His story saddened you but it was good to finally know. 

When you told Yui about it she was more worried than you'd ever seen her outside the trials. She drilled you for all the details about what happened. Only stopping when you managed to asure her that you weren't hurt.

But then her face took on a look you had never seen before. She look uncertain and almost insecure.

"You aren't still love in love with him are you?"

The question left you floored.

"What?" You couldn't help but laugh. "No Yui I love you. My feelings for him have long since passed. I promise."

You kissed her hard and the tension melted from her shoulders as she kissed back.

"Good," she said when she pulled away, "because I don't plan on sharing you." 

Felix:

"For fuck's sake! Chase someone else for once!" You shouted over your shoulder. 

Ghostface apparently didn't care about doing anything for the sake of fuck because he didn't ,infact, stop chasing you.

You heard your name being shouted from the other side of the map. Felix was helping Meg off a hook. He was calling out to you. "Just a bit longer, we're almost done."

You nodded and pumped your legs harder. Hopping a pallet you laughed as Ghostface swore behind you. "Sorry Danny guess you just can't keep up…. Like always."

"Just you wait sweetheart. Once I get my hands on you..." He growled as he crushed the pallet with a few heavy stomps.

"I don't think I have much to be worried about." You laughed.

"Oh yeah?" He asked.

"Yeah. I mean if you're as bad at killing as you were in bed then I'm gonna get out of here scot free." You cackled.

"EXCUSE YOU!?" His mask may not have been able to change but the rest of his body said it all. He was both offended and pissed.

"You take that back this instant you know damn well that that isn't true I was always…" he was absolutely raving behind you. Going on and on about how he had been attentive and how he always made you cum and on and on.

The last generator popped and you wooped happily. 

"Oh you little fucker." Danny shouted as you made for the gate. "That is what I was!" You called back.

"I will hook your ass don't think I won't!" 

He never got the chance as you dashed past the escape gate and out into the field beyond to join your loving boyfriend. "You okay?" Felix asked, taking your hand as you both slowed, nearing the survivors' camp.

"Yes I'm okay. Are you okay? I know he got a few hits in during the match."

His smile was warm and reassuring. "Yes I'm okay. Cluadette had a good med kit."

You leaned up to peck his cheek. "Good." You walked with him hand in hand into the camp and forgot about anything that wasn't being in his arms.

[greenygreenland]

Home: Lloyd Garmadon x Reader

-I LOVE ASKS. plz keep them coming, they make my day -i’m sorry i write slowly, I’m a perfectionist. -it’s also better to have quality over quantity, am I right? -takes place after Tournament of Elements but before Possessed 

[REQUESTED BY ANON] Summary/ask: Maybe a reader with a "dark" power (like, not evil, but considered dark), and they were outcasted by it, everyone thinks they are bad and shit but they are just shy and insecure?

WARNING: MENTIONS OF VERBAL ABUSE (VERY BRIEF), BLOOD (BRIEF), INJURIES (ALSO BREIF), ETC.

Isolation. That was all you had ever known for the better half of your life. Most details were things you preferred to keep hidden away, locked up for good in that deep mind of yours. 

You never had a whole family, but that was fine by you. Why should that matter when you had a father who loved and cared for you? Growing up, he always told you this: ‘Ninjago is so much more than our tiny home, my dear. Why should we worry about what we don’t have when there’s so much to discover?’

Even now, you held onto his words with your life. Even now when you forgot what his face looked like. Even now when you couldn’t remember his voice, or how warm his hugs were. Everything eventually faded, but not the emotions he made you feel. 

Love, warmth, generosity. 

Those were the only pieces of baggage you carried. Although heavy, they kept you from the evil strings of bitterness. You kept your chin up, high in the air so you could look to the sky. It was the limit after all, the portion of which you had to reach and reach until you couldn’t anymore. The only problem was getting there. 

The alley was rather quiet today, a far cry from the usual bustling citizens looking for a shortcut or a food stand. You loved days like this, where no one would care to stare at you and whisper your name like it were a ball in a game. With your hood up, no one could see your face, and no one could cast you aside like the loner you were.

“What are you doing here?” 

You wish you hadn’t heard his voice. As subtle as he tried to be, his snarky tone caused passing stragglers to glance at you. A sigh escapes your lips. What was he doing here? Didn’t he have anything better to do than follow you around and nag? You were cast aside as it was by your mother, forgotten by your so-called friends, and left behind by your ascended father. 

He told you to stay away from that speedy idiot, the one your mother took away from you. The one who took after her with the same eyes, nose, and mouth. They had the same grin, too, the one where it looked like they thought they were better than you.

“If it isn’t Griffin Turner,” you grumble out. “What a pleasure.” 

His stare isn’t friendly. You know under those red sunglasses that he’s glaring at you. He’s probably thinking about how much of a monster you are too, just like every other Elemental Master you ever faced in your life. 

Griffin runs a hand over his oh-so-perfectly cut hairdo. “Oh don’t be a prick.” he spits out. “Have some respect for your older brother.” That grin doesn’t slide off his face no matter how dark your expression gets. He’s always been oblivious. First to your powers, then to your father’s death, and finally, to how terribly he’s been treating you. 

It doesn’t matter that he’s your older brother. Bullying does not discriminate, and neither do you, blood ties or not. “Just leave me alone, I’m not in the mood Griffin.” He raises a brow. “Not in the mood? Since when did someone like you have feelings? You’re cold-hearted, just like your dad.” 

You frown. “’Your dad’?” you echo. “What, so we’re only related when you choose?” Griffin shrugs absentmindedly. You know he’s trying to provoke you, get a reaction, but you just can’t help it. He was patronising you and your father. 

“I’m just glad I lived with mum instead of dad.” he adds. “At least I don’t have to run after the garbage truck with a shopping list.” He snickers to himself and you go rigid. “Take that back.” 

“What? Your last braincell?” 

“Well--you--you’re a...” You pause. “At least I had someone who loved me and actually payed attention to me! Sure, I inherited dad’s elemental powers, but he taught me something you’ll never get: kindness. You think I don’t know? Look again you pathetic waste of space!” That wasn’t supposed to hit hard and you both knew it. Griffin could have said a million other insults that burned like the sun itself, yet somehow, with your puny words, you hit a nerve. A nerve that wasn’t supposed to be punched in the first place. 

Griffin’s grin finally slides off his face. He stuffs a hand in his pocket and uses the other to adjust his bright sunglasses. He doesn’t say anything, but you can practically feel the air thicken between the empty distance. Griffin didn’t have lo self-esteem, but sometimes, his mum called him a waste of space. When you walked by the luxurious apartment, on days the kitchen window was left wide open, you heard what she’d say to Griffin--what she did to him.

Suddenly, you’re taken back to the age of six, when your parents were together and Griffin was more than your only brother. You were best friends. You did everything together. But then your father passed down his elemental powers to you, and it was then that everything changed.

Your father taught you that your powers were a gift passed down all the way from the days the First Spinjitzu Master lived among the people of Ninjago. It was a gift used to protect him when he was in need, a gift that possessed great power and majesty. Your elemental abilities had a double edge to it. Although beautiful, it possessed a great danger. 

One slip-up was all it took. One mistake you never meant.

That day, you were practicing control and discipline over your powers. You never meant for it to happen, and if you could go back, you would a million times over. That day, all the control, all the mastery you had over your abilities disappeared in an instant. You swore it was only for a second, but it could have lasted a millennia. 

Your element was more than a power. It was a living part of you with its own consciousness you couldn’t quite understand. When you slept, you saw him, the intangible person you never cared to learn the name of. He always sat in a plain of pure darkness, where you couldn’t touch or see him clearly. 

You knew he never meant to frighten you, but that day, you only saw a monster. Perhaps it was you, perhaps it was him. You never knew because the moment you lost control, your world went black. From then on, your parents split. Your mother took Griffin away from you, and as time grew, so did the distance between you. 

You wish you could change things starting from that day till now. Those forsaken words shouldn’t have left either of your mouths, but the damage had already been done. It cut too deep that not even magic could mend the wounds. 

“Griffin I--”

“So that’s how it is.” A bitter laugh escapes his lips and you flinch like you’ve been struck. Griffin walks toward you at a painfully slow pace. The alleyway isn’t part of the city anymore. It’s a battlefield of honour, of pride, of two siblings who have been torn apart. He doesn’t meet your eyes as he pulls something out of his pocket. “Here.”

The wad of cash presented to you between his fingers looks more like an insult than a gift. Was he trying to rub in your face how rich his mum was compared to your dead dad? Surely this wasn’t an olive branch to apologise for being a jerk for the past eleven years. 

He stares at your incredulous expression and yanks your wrist forward, slapping the bills into your hand and forcing it into your sweater pocket. “Look, I’m not patronising you, okay? Just...go to your friend or whatever and don’t spend that on drugs. Your financial situation sucks, I get it.” 

His tone is rather aggressive, but you know that speech pattern. The one where it’s soft and bashful because he’s embarrassed to be talking out loud like that--like an older brother. You run your fingers over the cash in your pocket and stare at Griffin. He looks the other way and begins marching past you, making sure to bump shoulders. 

“Griffin, wait.” You make a grab for his arm but he’s already gone at the speed of light. “Thanks,” you whisper to yourself. “I guess.” You aren’t sure how long you stay in the dead alleyway, frozen in your own thoughts. But as soon as you’re ready to make your way to the park, the alleyway fades, the honking of the cars disappear, and you’re completely alone in a surge of darkness. 

“That has got to be a least three hundred.” 

You heave out a long sigh as the darkness parts. Robes drag across the floor like liquid gold, sparkling and shimmering like the sun. “Such a coward, your brother. He shouldn’t have run away like that.” The man is a living contradiction, much like you. Although he lived in a world of darkness, that never stopped light from blooming in his cold heart. He cared for you as much as he cared for your father and those before him. 

The man adjusted the collar of his red robes, yanking the thick fabric into all the right shapes and places. His pale face was like a sheet of paper, but the calm smile made up for that and tinted his cheeks rose. “Here,” he said, waving his arm. The wad of cash drifted out of your pocket, mixing with the mist until it was all but a speck of light. It drifted into one of the man’s pockets, which he patted. 

“Honestly,” he says, “could you be more inconspicuous? Someone down the street looked like he wanted to mug you.” You frown and the man huffs. “When you need the money, come back. I’ll keep it here.” 

“Thank you.”

“Raijin.” he says. “Call me Raijin.” 

The mist began swirling like a whirlpool, twisting and turning until your hood whacked you in the face. The alleyway materialised as soon as your feet hit the pavement. The honking of cars sliced through the air, bombarding your ears in the cityscape sounds. “First Spinjitzu Master...” you grumble, rubbing your ears. 

“LOOK OUT!”

You whip around in bewilderment and flatten yourself against the brick wall. A group of four or five fruit-coloured boys fly from the fire escape above. If you hadn’t reacted quickly enough, then you’d be as much of a pancake as the blue one (he was under all of them). 

“I’m--gonna--die! Get off me Cole!”

“I...I can’t when Zane’s heavier than a rock!”

“Kai, move your stupid leg!”

“Everyone stop arguing! Lloyd is unconscious!”

The last bit sent the group in a rush of shouting, scrambling, and shoving. You wanted to do something to help, but these boys were the ninja, students of Sensei Wu and partly, Garmadon. In the world of elemental masters, they were known as the OG, the ones who defeated the Great Devourer, Garmadon, and so many more. 

The last time you saw them (together, that was) had to be half a year ago on Chen’s forsaken island. You almost died, but Lloyd saved you. He and his friends risked their lives to help everyone off that island. If thy hadn’t been there...

You glance at Lloyd. He lay on the pavement, faintly breathing and coughing as Zane wrapped gauze around his wrist. The blood smeared on his face sent your heart tumbling. Just what had they done this time? 

“Hey!” you exclaim. The boys remove their hoods and turn to you. Kai knits his brows together. “Aren’t you--?”

“Do you want help or no?” you gruffly retort. Zane’s bright eyes don’t leave your cold expression as you look between all the ninja. Cole and Jay look uneasy about the offer, but to even the blind, it was clear they had no choice.

“Yes.” Zane says. “We would be grateful for your assistance, (Y/n).” You nod and motion for them to follow you out of the alleyway. Kai carefully lifts Lloyd off the ground and onto his back. “Thank you for your generous offer.” 

“Don’t thank me until he’s well.” you quietly reply. As scary as it was inviting people to your tiny apartment, this was the ninja. You owed them this much for being Ninjago’s protectors for so long. “We’re taking the back route because I don’t want to attract unwanted attention. It’s clear you had a run-in, let’s not repeat that.” 

Halfway down one of the quieter streets, you heard Jay whisper this, “I heard she’s evil. Are you sure we should trust her?” 

You want to be offended, but getting upset would only make everything worse. You re-called your conversation with Griffin, and that look on his face when you called him a waste of space. 

He deserved the insult, you told yourself. Why should you feel guilty? 

You spot a beat-up door worn with age. The blue paint peeled off the wood, scattering along the doorstep in little piles. As much as you wanted to renovate, you couldn’t afford it. You had to save up for college and rent. 

You dig your hand inside your trousers’ pocket and produce a key. The scratches rub against your calloused hands as you stick it in the keyhole and yank open the door. “Bring him in.” No one says a word as you watch the ninja file into your home one by one. Like good guests, they remove their shoes and leave them in a little corner of the hall. 

You close the door behind you and lock it, tossing the key in its respective place. “Set him down on the couch. I’ll get a med kit.” When you come back with the med kit and freshly washed hands, you weave past Cole and sit on the floor by Kai’s side. “He’ll be alright.” you calmly state. 

Kai sharply meets your gaze. “His wrist is broken.” 

“Yes, but bones can be mended. He will be alright.” You ignore the stares, they were background noise, and place your hands around the wound. “Raijin,” you whisper, “I need assistance.” 

The last time you had to fix a broken wrist had to be about three months ago. It was a rather draining action, but for Lloyd, you would do anything. He needed you. 

Suddenly, your body goes completely rigid. Your hands are cold and you shut your eyes, allowing the icy sensations to wash over your being. A breeze passes over your face and settles around your hands. You imagine Lloyd’s bones mending back into place, connecting painlessly like a puzzle piece would. 

“What’s she doing?” you hear Jay whisper.

“I think she’s concentrating.” Cole answers. “Kind of...creepy if I do say so myself.”

You feel the bones clicking together, and once you are sure Lloyd is alright, you open your eyes and heave out a long sigh. “He...he will be...” You can’t finish that sentence. The world spins with dots and mingles in a flurry of colours and blurs. Someone was saying something, but you can’t make out what’s wrong with you.

The world fades to black. 

“Here again?” 

You frown uncomfortably as Raijin struts out from behind a curtain of shadow. It’s hard to disregard him, so you avert your gaze to the side. “I don’t choose when I come here, you know that.” He chuckles and it’s a low rumble. “You like him.” 

“Who?”

“Lloyd. It’s not everyday you let people into your home. When you saw Griffin walk by with a broken leg, you didn’t heal him.” You sigh loudly. “Well, that’s different Raijin.”

“Is it?” There’s a suggestive tone to his voice you don’t like, as if he’s looking inside your head and hearing all your thoughts bouncing around. Raijin probably did hear some of it. He was, after all, a part of you, both soul and body. Silence falls over your shoulders and it sits there like an old pillow: uncomfortable, flat, and irritating. 

The silence stretched and you felt small in the presence of Raijin. He had a way with his height and energy that somehow made him appear all the more regal. You can’t meet his eyes as you blurt out the dumbest question you could muster. “Will Lloyd be okay?” 

The answer is obvious, but Raijin doesn’t comment on it. He folds his hands together and softly nods, as if he’s afraid of making you shrink further into yourself. “Thanks to your efforts his wrist is healed. Why don’t you see for yourself?” You perk up. “What--?”

The darkness curls under your shoes, stretching like gum and absorbing you in nothing. It’s cold, it’s dark, and it’s filling you with adrenaline. 

You jolt upright. 

“I see you and Raijin had quite the conversation.” a crinkly voice states. You rub your pounding head, accepting the steaming cup of tea from Sensei Wu’s hands. It’s been a while since you’ve seen the monastery, much less your old room. Wait, Wu? Your old room from when you were eleven? “Sensei?” He smiles kindly, giving your shoulder a good pat. “If you were wondering, Lloyd has been healed. Actually, he wishes to see you.” 

“Me?” you inquire. “Really?” Wu chuckles to himself good-naturedly. He turns his back to you and slides open the door, revealing a red-faced Lloyd. He goes stiff like a board. “Uh--I--sorry--just passing--” 

Wu gently guides Lloyd into the room, paying no mind to the stuttering mess his nephew had become. It’s an odd sight to see Lloyd, the Green Ninja, tripping over his own feet, adjusting his sleeves, and picking at loose threads instead of meeting your eyes like he did that day. 

Lloyd had been like a gust of wind. He came to your rescue strong and fast, scooping your bloodied body in his arms with a gentle hold. When the time came and you all had to leave the island, you were still too weak to use your elemental powers, so Lloyd let you ride with him. Those crazy few weeks on Chen’s island had been traumatising. 

The fact that you weren’t trusted by anyone due to your powers made it worse, until you met Lloyd and his father. 

Wu quietly exists the room, gently closing the door behind. You silently thank him for his consideration. “It’s been a while.” you quietly say. Lloyd shuffles toward you with a bright smile, cheeks still tinted red. “I used to see you around Ninjago City a lot, but after a while, it was...I don’t know, like you disappeared.” 

It’s your turn to avert your gaze. The truth was, you weren’t sure Lloyd still wanted to be your friend after the Tournament. You saw him less and less with each passing day, only ever giving a small wave here and there whenever he went to Borg Tower. After half a month, Griffin caught you talking with Lloyd. He bullied you about it and told you Lloyd was only acting like your friend. 

Stupidly enough, you believed him. Your insecurities about being judged wore down your courage like a bath bomb in water. You couldn’t speak with Lloyd any longer, or give a simple wave that made him smile like the sun. One day, you decided to avoid him completely by taking a different route home. You never saw him again. Not until today.

“I-I’m sorry Lloyd.” you murmur. He blinks, knitting his brows together in confusion. “What do you mean you’re sorry? You didn’t do anything--”

“Yes I d-did.” You curse your wobbly voice. “I started a-avoiding you because I was scared we weren’t...you know...anymore. And a lot happened...and then...” Your eyes are burning with tears you know are filled with ages of stress and worry and anger. 

You wanted to blame Griffin for making fun of you that day. You wanted to blame yourself for being so stupid. You wanted to blame Raijin for not talking to you when you needed him most. But you couldn’t. How would any of them know this would happen? That you’d eventually cut Lloyd off altogether until you were in isolation in that tiny apartment by yourself? How could you have known?

The side of your bed dips and gentle arms bring you in tight. It’s warm and reminds you of meadows with flowers, butterflies, and better days. When was the last time you actually hugged someone? Much less allowed them this close in your proximity? You didn’t have friends at school, so you always settled for books as your comfort. Books could not hug like people.

“I should be thanking you.” Lloyd said. “You healed me even though it made you pass out.” You sniffle, hesitantly wrapping your arms around Lloyd’s middle. As soon as you allow your shoulders to relax, warmth spreads through your chest. You recognised the sensation as a mix of comfort and relief. 

To know someone else was here with you who cared and would sit with you as you cried your eyes out was new--but it felt good. When your dad died, you promised to never shed another tear. You couldn’t say you were good a keeping promises. 

“If you want to tell me more, it’s okay.” Lloyd softly said. You rested your head on his shoulder, savouring the way he smelled like life itself. If you were to describe it, you’d call it grassy, flowery, and fruity all rolled into one. 

“Well... You remember my brother Griffin?” you slowly begin. “He isn’t who you think he is. He always tells me things like I’m a monster because of my elemental powers, or that...” 

You aren’t sure how long you talk for, but Lloyd’s there, listening to every word and drinking it in like gold. Sometimes he pitched in, other times he sat still in a silent horror you couldn’t fully comprehend. It never occurred to you just how broken your family relationships had been when it was your norm. 

When your tears finally dried and you could breathe again, Lloyd took your hands and motioned for you to follow him out of the room. “Would you like to stay for dinner?” You smiled at him, enjoying the company his hand provided. 

Wu rounded around the corner and said, “Would you like to stay forever?”

There was no question in that. You still had your old room and memories of when you used to call the monastery home. Why wouldn’t you want to make new ones? “Yes.” you reply. “I’d love that--if it’s fine with you.” Lloyd glanced at Wu, who simply nodded in confirmation. 

Lloyd turns to you with a bright grin that you can only shyly match in response. 

TIP JAR

Please don’t forget to reblog!

[chrstbll]

miracles and lucky days| ben hargreeves

(gif not mine) 

+tags: @lalisbitch @spaceclone-mom , @meowmeowrex23 @strangeyouthcrusade

plot: after coming back from the 60’s, instead of finding the sparrow academy, the group come face to face with a much more positive outcome of their actions.

                                                           -

The words of Klaus were diluted, inaudible and ringing loudly in your head. Your limbs could barely hold the weight of your body, and the nausea from jumping between timelines hitting your stomach didn’t quite put you at ease. All was blurry at first, not hearing nor seeing properly caused you to feel light-headed as well, but before your legs or your mind gave in, somebody strong arms held you up protectively.

- Are you good? – Diego’s gentle call for you brought you back to reality. He was always a little bit concerned about you. He didn’t show it in great actions, it was in the seemingly unimportant things he did for you. There wasn’t anything romantic involved between you two, instead of that it was a deep understanding of each another that made you appreciate the other significantly. You nodded to confirm that you were in fact all right, shrugging it off with a smile.

Klaus was right. After you successfully registered what he was saying, a wave of relief washed over your heart, mind, and soul. Your whole being. For once, all seven of you managed to successfully jump back to 2019 without any harm or mistake being done. It was quite unbelievable. A dreamlike scenario which proved itself to be nearly impossible to believe. Looking around the hall, everything seemed to be all right. It felt okay. The aura was intimately comforting, yet something was amiss. Different. Changed. It certainly was not a malicious ambiance that you discovered, but one new, something yet unexperienced thing. The others noticed it too, as all six of them were looking around suspiciously. Memories, feelings, and people rapidly invaded your mind, those you haven’t thought about a lot. Pogo? Grace? Are they okay now?

Luther suggested to enter the living room ahead of you, so that’s what you all mutually agreed to. Five was the one who went further on before you heroically and begged all of you to proceed with caution, because we don’t know what’s waiting for us there. The walk from the hall to the living room happened painfully slowly given that the feeling of uncertainty was sitting in one and all’s eyes and was at fault for your lack of speed. Upon realizing the academy was unnervingly noiseless, the anxiety birthed a huge lump in your throat, which you couldn’t swallow. Your heart was terrified from the possible negative outcome of this time jump. What if that moment of clarity and amenity was only a façade and was only felt because none of you faced reality in the short but drunk moment of arrival? Sometimes you thought about how nice it would be to just live without worry. To live in pure bliss, without a care in the world. Without a problem in the universe to solve. How astonishing it would be not to recall what loss, trauma, or sadness feels like. But then again, we would live in ignorance that way.

Turning towards the divans and sculptures in the living room, your attention automatically focused on the small moving figure, who was absentmindedly cleaning the shelves with dusting feathers. Recognition hit you like a truck, as the character of an ape appeared before you. Your breath hitched in your throat. Mercifully, it was a positive reaction, a sentiment you haven’t undergone in a long time.

- Pogo?! – Allison was the first one to call out their siblings’ friends’ name. Barely letting his name roll from her tongue, the sea of emotions instantly overthrew her, and tears stormed down her face. Their beloved guardian turned around in shock, he looked so puzzled, it was as he didn’t recognize the people in front of him. You feared that was the case. What if we screwed it up even more?

- Oh, children. I was waiting for you all to return – he’s spoken politely and gifted us with a kind smile, just like he always did. You almost forgot what a courteous and caring figure Pogo was. His scarce although deep voice reminded you of simpler times. A type of nostalgia which you subconsciously yearned for god knows how long. Everyone gathered around him in a matter of seconds, engulfing him in a suffocating hug. Pogo was still bewildered from the sudden act of affection, as you all were from seeing him alive and breathing, but in this instant of happiness, the questions why and how didn’t matter. What mattered was the present minute, what you currently knew as is.

And next, a voice broke the silence.

Who would dare to turn around first? Who wanted to confirm that the voice that was just heard from behind them, came from a legit source? On a serious note, was it even real? Your minds are only playing tricks on you. You were ecstatic for having Pogo back, but it would be too good to be true to turn around and see the possessor of the voice. We can’t have all the wonderful things. It never went that well for you. Your bodies turned stiff, and your feet were frozen on spot. But what made you fear to turn around? The horror of hearing something that’s not truly there or facing it bravely. Something…someone you haven’t faced in roughly two decades.

- What the hell took you guys so long? – the annoyance sounded so raw, hence genuine. You could hear and understand the words crystal clear; then why didn’t you believe your ears?

The group hug disassembled at a snail's pace and turned to face what they never expected to see ever again in their lifetime. You, on the other hand, had secretly wished for a moment like this. Your heart was aching for the chance, not caring about being rational nor delusional. It kept the faith in your soul steady.

- Please, tell me I’m not the only one who can see him – Klaus muttered.

- Ben – Diego confirmed in a hushed tone without letting out any more words as he didn’t need to. He was the bravest out of all of you to speak up.

So, there he stood in his monochrome outfit, with his black leather jacket hugging his form and a coy smile painted all over his face. The faint rosy cheeks, lively eyes and vivid emotions displayed told you everything. The Ben standing in front of you was very much real, and more importantly, alive, and well.

- All of you look like you’ve seen a ghost – he grinned from ear to ear, and his light-hearted joke legitimately freed your body from the tension which held you in your place so aggressively. Number Four didn’t hesitate one second longer, and slammed himself against his brother, who sweetly returned the embrace. Registering it, savouring it, then finally loving the physical contact, Klaus broke up in a hysterical laughter. The group succeeded to pull the strings in a way his death was luckily prevented. How the hell did we manage this? But he didn’t care. All that mattered was the present minute, what he currently knew as is.

- You’re telling me, man – his laugh slowly started to die down, but his joy only rose. Of course, a group hug was crucially needed and initiated effective immediately. Everyone surrounded him, and you held onto each other tightly, so he never slips away from your grasp again. You admitted it to yourself, that it felt heavenly, but more precisely, it felt so damn terrific. The others eventually backed away, but you stayed right in front of him.

- Hey, you – were all he needed to say for you to go flying into his arms – Where have you been? I missed you – his confession was a simple, warm, and loving anecdote, and it broke your heart in the best way possible.

You missed me?

Your loud sobbing, and ocean of tears was baffling and a mystery to him, and he looked at the others with a perplexed expression. They asked him to just let you be because they understood everything perfectly. Each tear was valid and every one of them had a reason. His arms were wrapped around your body, as he was shielding you from all the cruelty in this world. His embrace wasn’t tight, but fond and sensitive enough. You weren’t greedy at all; it was just all too marvellous. Hearing his stable beating heart as he held you close to his chest completely fulfilled you. A featherlight kiss was tenderly placed on your forehead by him, in an attempt to calm you down. It failed, as more droplets of salty water coated your apple-like cheeks. Even so, the kiss was given so compassionately, it must have come from heaven itself.

Maybe you were in Heaven. Maybe your life ended when you arrived in the hall. This isn’t real and I’m probably dead in Diego’s arms by now. But what if you accepted it as your reality now? You couldn’t believe it, even after feeling his touch and his kiss on your body. It might be because you thought you didn’t think your wish to see the person closest to your heart again would ever come true. After the horrific months you went through, it was certainly an impossibility to be gifted with something this enormous, significant, and joyous.

Maybe miracles and lucky days exist. Maybe they existed both on the same day in favour of you. I’ll accept this, I deserve this. You absolutely deserve to be happy and to drop the burden that’s been weighing on your soul for years. Nobody deserves to live their lives in inescapable guilt and grief. Having Ben back in all your lives meant the world to you. You were thinking about how you might have to fill him in on the details of the previous events, but that was a case for a later part of the day. For now, it was nice to bask in his love and warmth. You’ll care about every other issue later. This was the only feeling that mattered in that moment. Peace finally taking its rightful place back in your heart, which has been waiting for it for a long time now. He radiated pureness, an energy which was incomparable to anything else. Clutching his jacket was your anxiety making sure he doesn’t leave again. Maybe he was reading your thoughts, but at the same time he was realizing he’d never leave you even if it meant his life.

- I missed you too.

[reylofanfictionanthology]

TO FIND YOUR KISS IS NOW LIVE!  

Authors will be revealed next week!  For now all fics are anonymous.  Treats can be posted through author reveals on 2/21.  We will post an updated masterpost at that time.

To Find Your Kiss collection on AO3 | Treats Masterpost

GIFT FIC MASTERPOST

- Reap the Stars for abbytheatre08

The prompt: After Ben's death, Rey goes mad and turns to the dark side. Only Ben's not dead anymore. ----------------------- She is consuming fire, magnificent in her rage. She will burn the galaxy to its foundations, until the ashes rain down and pile high as mountains. She will gather them into bouquets and scatter them like petals upon his grave.

He will be remembered, and they will not.

Call him The Light Bearer and Joy Giver. Call him He Who Loved and Laid Down His Life. Call him Ben.

- we are question marks that hang above the endless unexplained for AlwaysEverlark

The first time she walked into his club, she was looking for a job. Kylo took one look at her—the stubborn pout of her lip, the determined glint in her eyes, the ruddy glow of her face where the sun had kissed it—and swallowed a lump in his throat that was shaped like the words you’re too good for this place.

They needed a singer. Kira Johnson could hold a tune, knew the old standards, and had a knockout pair of tits to boot. A few slinky ballgowns and a touch of lipstick, and she’d more than do the trick of distracting suckers long enough to part them from their money.

The club solely needed to break even; anything they made on top of the Syndicate’s cut was gravy, and Kylo Ren had been lining his pockets with his own take for long enough that he could see Kira for the lump of clay that she was: rough-hewn, misshapen, but soft and supple and sure to curve under his touch.

- Eighty Bucks Says Sweetheart for Amoreusou

Ben likes puzzles. Rey needs help with a bunch of them. Good thing it's a slow day at the office.

- Seldom Visions for Andrina_Nightshade

After visiting an old Sith temple, Supreme Leader Kylo Ren has fallen into a deep sleep when he pricks his finger on the point of a red crystal. Rey become is the first to find him, but his rescuer isn't just any general or pilot, it's the woman he shares a soul with, who haunts his waking hours, who still sees him even in his sleep.

- The Dyad for aneighthdomain

Based of the Prompt: Groundhog Day scenario. Ben and Rey keep getting sent back to the first time they met and no matter what they do, Ben always dies so they stop trying to change events and just live a life time in the year between and couple of weeks and run away together.

- Saudade: The Love That Remains for AnneAnna

- The Delegation for aNerdObsessed

A humanitarian delegation from Naboo arrives at Niima Outpost. Rey is skeptical, to say the least.

- i don't want you like a best friend for anopendoor

It’s not like she hadn’t seen this coming—Rose told her weeks ago that he was invited. It was an inevitability Rey was always going to have to face, she just didn’t think that Rose would be so merciful as to also give every guest a plus one.

But Rey can’t really be upset—and she is totally, unequivocally not upset—that Ben's bringing someone because, well.

She is, too.

- Love is Weakness for bittersnake

“He’s someone I found on my recent trip to Corellia,” Rey replies placidly, her face practiced in its boredom. “It doesn’t mean anything.”

“Love is weakness,” her grandfather reminds her, the way he has for years. It’s why he doesn’t love her. He will not be weak. It’s why she doesn’t love him, either.

- in sickness and in health (with health being less likely) for BlueButterflyKisses

Deciding to spend the rest of their lives together is the easy part for both Rey and Ben; the trouble is in how to propose.

- Snowed In for Blueyedgurl

Never in her wildest dreams did Rey Johnson think she would ever get to meet her favorite other Kylo Ren. She also would have never entertained the idea of the scenario she found herself in. How did a hike in the woods lead to a snowstorm and taking shelter in a remote cabin in the woods? The idea was so ridiculous but had become reality. Stuck inside with a handsome stranger surrounded by a winter storm, Rey wonders what will happen with no power and only one bed. Will they be polite co-habitants stuck in a strange set of circumstances or is there room for something more?

- Curses, Comforts and Capybaras for Bombastique

Arrogant CEO bites off more than he can chew when he angers a witch... And suddenly finds himself transformed into a capybara. Can kindhearted wildlife rehabber Rey Niima help him break the curse?

- To Heal a Broken Soul for Cat2000

Ben survives the fallout of Exegol, but his connection to the physical world is in danger. Rey tends to him as she searched for a way to heal him.

- holding me like water in your hands for Ceallaigh

After Hux finds out Ben killed Snoke, Hux encases Ben in Carbonite. Rey refuses to let Ben stay frozen forever so she mounts a rescue.

- Like a Thief in the Night for chagrins

Their bond won't let them be alone. At least this time it's the middle of the night and they can't get into a shouting match.

- The Chance for Crysania

When Rey and Ben, long time co-workers who have never been able to admit their feelings to each other, go on a weekend retreat to work on a movie adaptation script together, a Nor’easter leaves them snowed in. On Valentine’s Day.

- Awake for cuddlesome

Something inside him is awake, and something inside her is about to wake up.

An alternate interrogation scene.

- darkness rises, and light to meet it for czechia

After the throne room, Jedi Ben Solo and Kira Ren meet again a year later.

- Not Quite a Fairytale for DarkMage13

Rey lets a stranger use the phone of the café she works at late one night. It changes the whole course of her life.

- You Won't Escape Me ('Cause I Set You Free) for DoorKeeper9

- The Canvas of Your Skin for darlingreadsalot

She was incapable of touching him without drawing blood, it seemed. Lines like vermillion paint streaked where her fingers sketched down the contours of his face, his back, and now his chest.

In which a Force bond is splintered, a resurrection goes wrong, a kiss is forgotten, and two almost-lovers avoid speaking for the better half of a year.

- Fleeing the Storm for driverfever

As the granddaughter of an merciless aristocrat, Rey’s life hangs on a thread at the hands of the French Revolutionaries. When her childhood friend, Ben, offers to platonically marry her in order to take her to his home in England to safety, she has no choice but to accept.

But her suitor and revolutionary Hux won’t give her up so easily. Hounded by revolutionaries and falling in love, Rey and Ben must use all their wits to flee Paris and make it to England.

- Equal Measure for dustoftheancients

When Princess Rey of Coruscant calls upon the cursed Sir Kylo Ren to help her escape her grandfather the emperor’s political machinations, she discovers freedom in the ancient familial magic that binds them together.

- Benimina Solo's Late On-Set Force Ability for Evangel10n

Benimina Solo has never, not even once, had an ounce of Force Sensitivity. She's done a great deal to move on with her life after failing out of her uncle's Jedi training school. So when Rey Palpatine comes into her life and suddenly everything changes, she's not a happy camper.

- Splatter for expendable

“You’re Palpatine’s girl,” he says coldly.

“His chief of staff, yes.” Rey’s eyes narrow. “And you have your hand on my ass, Kylo. Kindly take it off.”

“Or what?”

AKA powerful corporate rivals Kylo and Rey put the hate in love/hate.

- The Haunted Mirror for FangirlintheForest

When Rey travels to UK to attend the reading of his grandfather will, a grandfather she didn't know existed until that very moment, she finds a house, and a old story that will haunt her...

- i'm your secretary for firelord65

Kaydel pressed her lips together in a thin line, passing a pile of datapads over the desk. “I don’t know what that pretentious nerf herder has put into your brain, but these are tales of the key roles women have played in past rebellions.” She stood, tapping the pile. “They’re great reads,” she added, with a pointed raise of her eyebrow.

- and they danced across the sky for flipflop_diva

When he was still a child, he constantly watched the blue butterflies as they danced in the sky.

They seemed to be calling him, aiding him each instance that icy-cold darkness flowed through his very veins. The magnificent creatures saved him from the voices. They drowned out the incessant chatter in his head. Temporarily cleared away all the anger. During those brief respites, watching those blue wings flutter in the sky, Ben felt free.

But that’s another life. Another world. Another time. Another, another, another.

And Kylo's no longer a child.

No. He welcomes the darkness now. Embraces it.

- Finding The Answer for FrenchMartiniPlease

Rey pines for Ben Solo…so why does her soulmate mark always drain of colour whenever she gets close to him?

- Almost Unforgettable for HopeRebel

The woman in the mirror has blood on her clothes, cash in her bag, and a letter from her husband telling her it's better to forget. Well, he got his wish. She forgot everything-- including her name. And she wasn't the only one afflicted.

It'll take the combined efforts of gumshoes, a flatfoot, a washed-up Hollywood starlet, and more to get to the bottom of this bad business. In the end, these things always come back to the beginning.

- The Curl of a Sigh for irridesca

During the last song in Maxine’s set, a song she announces is called “Soul Companion,” Ben heads back out to the lobby to look for Rey. He finds her not with his eyes but with one broad shoulder, when he bumps into her and knocks her gig bag out of her hands and onto the plush carpet.

- and they were roommates for Lady_of_Haven

When Ben loses a bet to his roommate, Rey, he has to eat her out for 30 days.

- torn away from you (my heart is broken) for lakerose

The Force binds more than minds.

- If You Take Me for literallynoonecares

She sighed wistfully as she watched her two friends lean in toward each other as they danced, their lips meeting and melding together as they seemed to become one person instead of two separate beings. She had seen them kiss so many times, but this kiss … it was special.“I just want someone to kiss me like that,” she mused softly to herself, her eyes not leaving her friends.“I could make that happen if you wanted.”

- 3 Days in Vienna for Like_A_Dove

Kylo Ren, trained mercenary Alpha assassin, is on a mission—assassinate Chancellor Palpatine and bring his underground authoritarian regime to an end. It’s what the First Order demands, for the better of society.

It should be an easy task. He’s been getting close to the Chancellor and his cronies for years. So how is it that the unexpected appearance of an Omega, with a seemingly similar mission—and a wholly inconveniencing scent—become a distraction he hadn’t accounted for?

- Confidence and Desire for LittleLostStar

“Stay afraid, but do it anyway. What’s important is the action. You don’t have to wait to be confident. Just do it and eventually, the confidence will follow.” - Carrie Fisher

- Love brightens even the most monstrous parts of ourselves for LRRH17

No one knows since when the giant, black bear has lived in the forest near Theed. Many stories about the origin of Kylo Ren circulate in the small village. After Rey has run away from Jakku, and arrived in Theed she has heard them all of, but has never actually meet the creature. This changes when her and her friends get attacked by bandits on their way back from Otoh Gunga.

- Your Sweetness Comes With Sugar on the Side for Lutrosis

Rey's daughter loses her mother as she wanders around the Supermarket. Ben finds her and the two connect over both being Type 1 diabetics. They find Rey, and Ben and Rey are instantly smitten. As they date and fall in love they discover that Jade and Ben are connected more than they thought and healing is brought to the Solo/Skywalker clan.

- Allegories, or Allusions to Real Life for maq_moon

“Boys, please stop arguing.” Rose rubbed her temples. “Poe, we get it, you’re childhood best buddies, you’ve got a better grasp on his character than some rando of a rando you met at a party. Finn, for fuck’s sake, we’ve been working with Ben for months. I’m pretty sure if he’s a serial killer or whatever, it would have come out by now.” Finn sat back in his seat, grumbling. “Not how serial killers work.” Rey was going to have a headache if this continued any longer, so she lied through her teeth at the reality of a new player joining their D&D party. "He seems nice." She didn’t trust a single inch of skin on that man. "I'm sure it'll be fine."

- A Mad Man, with a Box for MBlair

Rey and Ben meet, move in together, get engaged, and marry.

- Invite the Wild In for midwinterspring

Kylo Ren, the mysterious senator who appeared from out of the deserts of Jakku and somehow brought them back to life, has spent a long and unproductive session on Hosnian Prime. Now, it's time to go home. After all, there's someone waiting for him and so much for them to do together.

(The ancient Sith had some interesting rituals.)

- Purim Party for MissCoppelia

Rey goes back to visit her foster mother for a Purim celebration. She meets Ben Solo who's visiting his parents, who are friends with her foster mother. They have an attraction to each other right away, but try to play it cool.

- The Banished Heart for misszeldasayre

On Rey of Niima’s nineteenth name day, Jakku gains a new wizard.

Jakku is a withering outpost of the kingdom, and its people hope the new wizard - the mysterious Kylo Ren - will bring them the rains the land needs to heal. Rey is a lonely, clanless girl living in Niima, and she has a secret. One she hopes the wizard will be able to help her with too.

- The Smuggler's Bride for MyJediLife

Miss Rey Nemo is the new mistress of Manor Takodana, left to her by the late Lord Skywalker. When a strange man named Kylo Ren appears on her doorstep, she decides to hire him as her new groundskeeper. As Rey faces sinister threats and secrets are revealed, Kylo Ren may be the only person who can save her.

- Annabel Lee for myownlittleinfinity

Rey keeps finding these ... notes in her locker. She doesn't quite get them. They seem like love notes, but she doesn't know who they could be from. Meanwhile she's paired up with Ben Solo (who hates her despite her gigantic crush on him) for this English assignment. Who knows how THIS will go.

- with my body i thee worship for niennathegrey

Miss Rey Nemo is the new mistress of Manor Takodana, left to her by the late Lord Skywalker. When a strange man named Kylo Ren appears on her doorstep, she decides to hire him as her new groundskeeper. As Rey faces sinister threats and secrets are revealed, Kylo Ren may be the only person who can save her.

- the losing game for no_big_deal

Sith Princess Rey Palpatine is given a peculiar gift for her Life Day: a Jedi. Not only that, one who is boorish, spirited, and stubborn. But, he presents an opportunity: one that could liberate her from a life under the thumb of her grandfather. She has seven weeks to change his heart before all her freedom is taken from her - forever.

- standing right in front of you for notkellymarie

When Senator Solo's engagement is pushed forward, he and his Jedi bodyguard, Rey, travel to Naboo alone for the announcement ball. The pair despise each other, constantly bickering and disagreeing with each other, which makes spending extensive amounts of time alone together all that more difficult. Until of course, one of them breaks...

- the good, the bad, and the smuggling for OccasionallyCreative

Ben Solo is a seasoned smuggler. And he’s not bad at it, either. But when bounty hunter Rey offers him a temporary partnership he can’t refuse, Ben will find himself pushed to the limits of his skill, patience, and resourcefulness on a job that’s dangerous enough to be his last.

It’s like his dad used to say: bounty hunters are nothing but trouble, kid.

- Whatever our souls are made of...his and mine are the same for Padawan_Writer

Ben and Rey meet only after Kylo has defected from the First Order and returned to the Resistance and his mother. Will the dyad still find a way to be?

- They say that only the dead have seen the end of war for politicalpadmé

“He traded his life for mine,” Rey choked, stomping back and forth in front of him so fast he could barely keep track of her. “He died. He died so I didn’t have to—and it’s not—it’s—after everything he’s gone through—it’s not fair.” Tears were running down her cheeks now, and Poe wanted to do nothing more than hug her, but there was nothing he could say—nothing she would want to hear. Poe remembered all the people he’d lost, all the times he had raged and screamed and cried about the unfairness of it all. “Leia sacrificed herself to bring him back,” Rey declared suddenly, ceasing her constant pacing around the fire as she looked straight at him. “And he sacrificed himself for me—and now no one’s going to know. All he’ll be remembered as is Kylo Ren, but he was—he was so much more.” She exhaled with a shudder and whispered, “He was a part of me, and I—I don’t feel whole without him.” ~

A Force Ghost Ben/Rey love story, with a side of rebuilding the galaxy.

- Cicatrix for Priestly

Getting cut up by Rey on Starkiller awakens something in Kylo.

- I Will Always Be With You for Prix

But she wouldn’t be able to hide her pregnancy for much longer. She was starting to show, and her friends would start asking questions. She would have to give them answers, some of them would not understand, and none of them would accept.

She carried his child. The tiny spark of light woven with darkness, just like her. Just like his father.

—————

The world has gone dark More times than you Or your mother Or your grandmother Can remember. And every hurricane That was meant to be The end of it all Had instead ended In sunshine again.

So believe me When I say; You will survive this And the next one too.

World’s End—Nikita Gill

- all my daydreams are disasters for QueenOfCarrotFlowers

During her search for the infamous Luke Skywalker — the man who predicted a devastating earthquake in New Madrid, Missouri — Rey finds herself entangled in Luke’s family history and with his brooding nephew, Ben Solo.

- on what ground I was founded (when I first saw you) for redbelles

Kylo dreams of Rey after the Battle of Crait. And the yearning is mutual...

Some Force Bond dream smut inspired by "Shrike" and "NFWMB" by Hozier.

- Last Summer for Reykenobi68

Rey had started to get used to Ben not living next door anymore by the time the holidays came around. Then he's back for the holidays. Rey is really expecting things to go wrong after the way he left at the end of the summer. ut is it really going to be that bad.

- The Long Way Home for reylotrash711

In the aftermath of Exegol, Ben and Rey are divided by misunderstandings.  It will take time and danger for them to work things out.

- Under the moonlight for shariling

I don't know why I followed you here. She wanted to reply. Maybe because you're so tall I couldn't help but notice you. Maybe it's because of your hair or the way you move, or maybe it's because of that kind of melancholic look in your eyes. There is something about you that I find terribly attractive and I don’t know what it is: maybe the moon or the alcohol or the wolf I have met before infected me with some strange parasite and now I am hopelessly attracted to dogs, I do not know. She could have said one of these things, any of them, instead she said: “I've never bitten anyone before, and I want you to be my first.”

- Fallen for shipperofdarkness

Prompt: Devil!Ben and Angel!Rey or Angel!Ben and Devil!Rey. How do these two on completely opposite sides fall in love and defy worlds to be together?

- come away with me for silentfleur

Rey owns a tinker shop, but her life changes when she meets Ben Solo and is cursed by a witch. Not necessarily in that order.

- A Picture of Me Without You for SpaceWaffleHouseTM

"I suppose I'd somehow struggle through / But I'd hate to picture myself without you."

It's impossible not to have a soulmark. It's not a big deal, not in the lax and gin-soaked speakeasies of 1920s Manhattan, but it's still a heavy weight to bear, as Ben Solo and Rey find out side by side.

- Lips Raw With Love for stellardarlings

Their kiss on Exegol wasn't their first kiss...

Nor would it be their last.

- Everyone Makes Divine Mistakes for Takekurabehime

Jedi Knight Ben Solo is sent to Naboo on an errand of mercy (and to visit his grandparents). He arrives in springtime; but will he be able to complete his mission without finding himself distracted and bewildered when love and intrigue waft through the fragrant air?

- Glitter & Gold for TearoomSaloon

Rey is lead singer in an up-and-coming glam metal band. They've finally got steady performances, but that means playing at the same club as the Knights of Ren, whose lead singer definitely isn't interested in any competition.

- To kiss like lovers do for the-reylo-void (Anysia)

Ben and Rey spend their formative years growing up together in Medieval Scotland and it looks like they will end up together. Circumstances intervene and Rey loses her chance to be with him. Devastated, she carries on until the day clan Ren attacks Castle Jakku lead by the notorious killer Kylo Ren.

- Snow Turns To Rain for thehobbem

For a moment, he wanted to ask what she meant, but if he was being completely honest, he already knew.  He asked himself that same question over the years, and none more often than tonight, since seeing her again.  Was leaving worth it?  Was going their separate ways worth leaving each other?

 “I’m not sure,” he said finally, shaking his head.  “I’m happy...” he said, and she tensed a little, so he continued, “with my work.  I’m glad I’m doing what I love, but....”

 “But?”

 “But it wasn’t the only thing I loved.”

- Change the Dance for theresonatinglight

- Meet Me in the Woods for thewayofthetrashcompactor (BriarLily)

“What do you mean no one goes in there?” A chuckle. “It’s haunted. People see all sorts of weird things in there and some don’t ever come out. You’re better off living with your curiosity.” Rey wakes in a shadowy forest with no memory of where she came from, only her name. With the help of the resident guardian she takes a journey to figure out her past, and maybe even discover her future.

- permanent calligraphy (your name on me forever) for Thursdaygirl

As they continue to work together, two things become clear. One: Ben Solo is an enigma. He’s preppy yet humble, privileged yet introspective. He’s the opposite of lazy; she kicks herself every day for assuming otherwise. And two: Ben Solo will never love her.

- show me the stars. for tmwillson3

“I don’t hate Christmas, I just don’t love it the way you do.” Lifting his head, he pulls a face, loosening up a tangled ornament of a poodle with pink, curly fluff. Rey snatches it from him possessively, tossing it back to the cart. “No one loves it the way you do, to be fair.”

“Now that’s the truth,” says Poe, who Finn invited about half an hour ago to keep him company.

“People have bad taste, I don’t know what to say.” Huffing, Rey scrolls through her phone with more intent. “Neither of you are helping me, anyway.”

“What’s the problem?” says Poe.

“Rey thinks her hot neighbor hates her —”

“He does hate me.”

“ — When really he’s been flirting with her for the past, oh I don’t know, how long have you lived there?”

- I realized that I need you, I wondered if I could come home for VR_Trakowski

Rey is doing exploration work for the Resistance, searching for force sensitive planets so any force sensitives that they find have a place to train.

One day, midflight she finds a slip of paper with the elegant scrawling words of the ones that came before. The ones that she found when Ben still roamed the galaxy.

When she lands on a dark and barren planet she is forced to face the feelings she thought she buried.

- Shadows of the Moon for walkingsaladshooter

The hallways got darker, the corridors grew longer. Shadows stretched across the walls. The ghosts of Breha Manor grew each night.

Rey clutched her necklace. Ben met her gaze.

And every night, there was weeping.

- show the way (the world could be) for writergenie

In the aftermath of the Battle of Crait, Rey struggles to find her place among the Resistance. However, her lingering Force bond with Kylo— Ben— whatever name he calls himself— complicates things, blurring the line between friend and foe.

When the tension threatens to boil over and a desperate plan goes awry, Rey begins to wonder whether there really is a line between light and dark after all.

(Stars do burn brightest in the blackness of space.)

- why don't we go (somewhere only we know) for XarisEirene

The bond snaps back into place, even stronger than before. He is here. With Rey, yes, but with Luke - Luke, who is looking at them now with that same dangerous glint in his eye that haunts Ben’s dreams.

- renewed, transfigured, in another pattern for yodalorian

Rey mourns on Tatooine while Ben is stuck in the World Between Worlds. But neither of them are alone, and blue butterflies light a path back to each other.

[urimaginespimp]

His Hidden Gem pt 2

Alfie Solomons x Reader – to the rest of the world, well excluding Thomas of course, he was dead. That was until Tommy had an unexpected visitor who claims to be his wife.

Read part 1 here

--------

“Margate? I bet he hates it there.” You commented, riding shotgun next to a driving Mr. Shelby.

He didn’t comment, but a ghost of a smile appeared on his face. He had to admit, at first, he didn’t quite see how you and Alfie managed to be married for seven years, but after listening to your ramblings while on your drive, he could see it now.

Your demeanor screamed dainty and rich. And yes, you are rich, but also near as crazy as Alfie.

“How long have you known that he’s alive?” You asked.

“When he sent me a letter asking me how Cyril was, though I doubt he remembers doing so.” He recalled. “And come to think of it now, he did also ask if the talks about his death was all the news people of Camden had about him. I think he was trying to know if people had discovered about your marriage.”

“Please enlighten me Mrs. Solomons, on how you both met.” Curiosity got the best of him.

You couldn’t stop your smile at the memory.

“Well if you must know, I was set to be betrothed to a man whose bare bottom only touched the finest of fabrics…” Thomas snorted at this. “I refused, saying I didn’t want to spend my life papmered next to a grown baby’s powdered bum all my life, got cut off and was left with practically nothing.”  You both chuckled.

“I ended up in Camden town, and intended to steal some bread in this poorly lit bakery, but ended up in a bargain with this weirdly attractive man, that he’d find me a place to stay if I go out for dinner with him. Three months later we got married. But because we chose to keep it secret, it was always just secret visits in each other’s places.”

“I rarely give compliments, Y/N. But I admire you for taking matters into your own hands in finding the truth. Even though seven months is a long time.”

“We all crave certainty.” You simply answered. There was a reason why it took you that long. And they were left in Camden under the care of a good friend who had no clue who their father was.

And If you had to be honest, you were trying to calm your nerves. You thank the universe that your husband is alive, but given how he’s gone so long without even trying to reach out, the question whether he’d still want you lingered.

“Should I just have settled with the information that he is alive?” You whispered to yourself.

“You’ll never know unless you actually go talk to him.” Thomas answered, having heard what you’ve said. “And you should, because I’m a stubborn gypsy man who rarely does favors, but I did this for the wife of a man who’s been a dick to me once or twice. Consider this opportunity lucky.”

“Why are you helping me then?”

“Well I’m not as heartless as I may seem. I once had a wife I dearly love before she took a bullet for me.” You offered your sympathy, and he continued. “Plus, I’m curious about seeing the Alfie Solomons possibly getting hit from a woman as small as you are.” He smirked at the thought, and you smiled in return.

“We never laid a hand on each other, Mr. Shelby. Not unless one asked to.” Thomas coughed at what you insinuated, but was clearly amused. “Though I might just need to slap this one out later.”

You didn’t know at which part of the long drive you fell asleep, but the next thing you know, Thomas Shelby was trying to wake you up.

“Oi lady.” He was waving a hand in front of your face for who knows how long. “I believe you have a husband to confront.”

Composing yourself, you slowly got out of the car. You were in the driveway of his house. From outside it was decent. Might even be a lot better than where Alfie was living in Camden.

Once you were both by the front door, you were starting to panic.

“You do think I’m making the right decisions, right?”

“I think a man who has chosen to be presumed dead without telling his wife owes her an explanation.” He nodded.

Mr. Shelby took to initiative to knock. Followed by another. And another one.

“Who are you and what the fuck do you want?” you heard your husband’s voice and his footsteps approaching.

“It’s Thomas. I brought you one of your treasures left in Camden.” He didn’t give you away, not risking not even getting the door opened.

Alfie swung the door open. “What the hell are you ta-…”  he faltered once he saw you standing next to Thomas.

You were also frozen in place.

Tommy was looking back and forth the both of you, probably waiting for the said slap to happen. You were too shocked, looking at your husbands face. Half of it now sits with scars, and an eye that was now missing the blue you love staring into.

“Y/N?” Mr. Shelby asked. This thankfully brought you back to your senses.

“Well how the hell am I to slap him if his face looks like that?!” You yelled, still looking at Alfie.

“Well he was the one who shot me on the face you admire so much, luv.” Alfie answered, still intensely staring at you. You snapped your head at Thomas, who brought his arms up in defense and started backing away.

“He asked me to.” He defended. “I think I’ll wait in the car. You two sort your marital stuff.”

Now left alone with each other, he gestured for you to come in and you obliged. But as soon as he closed the door behind him, you have thrown your shoe at the wall at his side.

“Luv, I-“

“What the fuck, Alfie?!” You yelled at him, your voice trembling. “You have the audacity to fucking call me that after not even reaching out? What, did you like your new house here so much, you forgot you had a wife?!”

Like a treacherous bitch, hot tears started spilling on your face. Alfie still stood by the closed door, looking at anywhere but you.

“If you didn’t want me anymore, the least you could’ve done was tell me.” No, out of all the scenarios you could’ve imagined, you never imagined yourself to be the first one to break upon seeing him again. But here you were. A mess.

“Of course, I still love you.” That was all he could barely whisper.

“You have a minute to tell me everything, Alfie Solomons, or you’d be dead to me forever.” You were still crying angry tears, but the determination on your face scared Alfie to the core. He knew you were dead serious.  

He started pacing back and forth while your eyes followed. He wasn’t trying to come up with an excuse, but was rather trying to figure out where to start.

A moment had passed and you took it as your cue to leave. Sighing in defeat, you shook your head and was about to head out the door forever when he caught your arm.

“I didn’t want to burden you, okay? I- I was feeling a little funny and one day I went to the doctor and he said I had this fucker called cancer.” You were frozen on your spot, looking at him, bewildered at the revelation.

“Now how could I be a good husband when I couldn’t even take care of my fucking self.” He looked away when a tear started to fall.

It was rare for your beast of a husband to shed a tear - he dreaded showing that side of him. So you knew that news of his illness really took a toll on him.

“Oh,  Alfie…” You whispered, softly cupped his scarred face.

“I didn’t marry you to become what I refused to marry into years ago. You know how much I love you. You were never and will never be a burden to us.” He finally took you in his arms.

“Us?” He caught on what you said, a glimmer on his face.

“Don’t worry my love, I tell the twins about you all the time.” You smiled at the thought of how Alfie would be a mush of a father to them.

“You were pregnant?” He pulled away and started to wiped away your tears with his thumb.

“I was three months long when you disappeared. I was hoping to find you sooner, but I just gave birth a month ago.”

“No, Y/N , I’m the one that’s sorry.” He insisted, showering your face with pecks.

“You’re going to be a great father, love.” You smiled at him.

“But half of the face you love so much is all gone now too. Hell, how am I even supposed to look after twins when I only have one seeing eye?” He stated, making you chuckle.

“Well lucky for you, I actually think the scar makes you even more attractive.” You smiled, touching them. “As for the eye, you have me. I never said you have to take care of them both at once.” You both chuckled.

“I'd hate to admit it, but I owe Thomas Shelby.” He answered and you nodded in agreement.

“We should probably invite him in, luv. We’re starting to seem rude leaving the king of Birmingham outside.” You chuckled.

“You know..." He started, tucking loose har beehind your ear. "I once said that hell would look like Margate, but I think it would actually be lovely if we finally settle here and have a place to call our own. No more sneaking around, no secret visits.”

“I'd love that.” You answered pulling him down for a kiss.

“Life is so much easier to deal with when you are dead.” He whispered.

[tinned-beans]

Avengers AU idea...

The Necromantica: Lead by the Ancient One. She is the founder of the group and has been around to oversee it for centuries. No one knows what her power is, or how she's lived so long.

After a person has had a severe injury leading to their almost death, they sometimes develop unexplained powers relating to necromancy in one way or another. The Necromantica is an underground group dedicated to helping people who have discovered these new powers. They provide therapy for the trauma people have endured, train people in how to use and control their power, and are partnered with the sorcerers at Kamar Taj. The sorcerers teach the necromancers basic magic as self-defence and to give both the subjects and the sorcerers a better understanding of this phenomenon.

Although the Necromantica is a secret group, they often use their powers to protect the people of New York and are low-level enhanced individuals outside the watch of the government. They're based in an abandoned train station hidden by illusions cast by the sorcerers of Kamar Taj.

Characters:

Tony: A poor unsuspecting fool and Stephens roommate after the car crash. He's a graphic designer for a magazine company and frequently asks Stephen to pose as a drawing reference. He could just use Pinterest or even books like a normal person, but at the moment it's his only excuse to stare dreamily at Stephen without being weird.

Stephen: The victim of a car crash about a year ago. He was run off the road by drunk drivers and was near death when he was found. He was rushed to hospital and operated on by Dr. James Rhodes. He made an almost full recovery however his hands were crushed in the dashboard of the car, which resulted in severe nerve damage. They still shake and hurt, meaning Stephen is often on prescription painkillers.

He was found by the Necromantica a few days after he returned home from the hospital. Rhodey, who operated on him, is also part of the Necromantica and so was able to get his records to the group. Bucky came to visit after Stephen discovered his new necro-botanic powers and explained things. Stephen now uses the support of plants wrapped around his hands to regain full control and dexterity with them.

Art for Stephen's power ⏬ (I know I fucked up the left arm)

Dr. James Rhodes: Was in a plane crash which resulted in his near death. Before that, he was a very good surgeon however, after the plane crash he was paralysed from the waist down. After he was released from the hospital he found that a few days later, he could miraculously walk again. Rhodey's power is that he can remove injuries from things and store them up to inflict on people later. Sam came to recruit Rhodey after this. Rhodey has to be very careful about skin to skin contact with anyone because he still has the paralysis stored up: he never found a good reason to use it.

Sam Wilson: A therapist at the local clinic. He used to get the medical records to find out whom to help/recruit to the Necromantica. Now Rhodey helps get the records too. Sam is a veteran and fought in Vietnam. Although he came home with no physical injuries he had extremely bad PTSD and attempted suicide. The gun, however, misfired and his family got him to hospital in time. When he woke up he discovered he had the power to sap the lifespan from others and add it to his own.

James Barnes: One of the Necromantica's 'recruitment officers'. He is the longest-standing member after Sam and was the one who brought in Stephen. He used to be a weapons dealer in Texas however, one of the deal went south and the arms warehouse got blown up with him still in it. His arm had to be amputated, and he now has a cybernetic one designed by Thor. From the explosion Bucky gained to reanimate a person's body for a limited amount of time, no matter how much of them is damaged or missing.

Thor Thomas: the founder of a prestigious technology company and an accomplished engineer. He and his brother Loki are child abuse survivors. They were almost beaten to death by their father, who was in a drunken rage, at a young age. Thor developed the ability to magnify and manipulate the minuscule electric current flowing through organisms, although this often results in their death (it's a delicate process.) This was found out when he was returned to his parents from the hospital. His father made to slap Loki however Thor caught his hand. Sparks erupted and his mother had to pull both children away as Odin stumbled back and hit the floor. Fire burst from under him and the house burnt to the ground before the fire department could arrive.

Loki Thomas: Thor's brother. Can reveal the most likely past and future of a person and sometimes an animal. The prophecy usually centres around their death or that of someone close to them.

Steve Rogers: The Necromantica's other 'recruiting agent'. He was a foot soldier in WW2 when he fell off a train during a raid. He ended up frozen and preserved in the ice until he was found decades later. He's the only know person to wake up and recover from a cryogenic-like process. This is probably due to the power he developed over his time in the ice. Steve can freeze people down to their very core, leaving them soulless zombies. However, he can also reverse this process in not only his own victims but those of mental illness - bring them back in touch with reality and re-animate their will to live. This is why he is one of the group's main therapists who deal with PTSD.

Natasha Romanov: Another member of the Necromantica. She's an ex-KGB spy and was tortured to near death by her employers after she quit. Before this, she suspected something was going to happen to her, so she left clues to her location, which her father unravelled and followed. He got her medical help just in time and she survived after intensive surgery and being comatose for around a week. After that she aware that she could see numbers above people's heads. One was a timer ticking down to their time of death, the other a counter of how many people they'd killed. What she discovered, however, was that the timer could be edited. Someone who had meer seconds before being hit by a car could be saved by her intervening, or even just thinking about increasing the timer. It didn't always work on people with grievous injuries, however, it worked about 90% of the time.

Wanda and Pietro Maximoff: Siblings who were Iraqi exchange students in Washington D.C. After white supremacists bombed a mosque, the building collapsed, nearly suffocating them as they were stuck inside. Both were unconscious when found, but they eventually woke up. Pietro, with the ability to speed up people's lives to their time of death (he can also reverse it); Wanda with the power to operate dead things like puppets.

Li Wei: Was in a train crash in China. Was barely alive when found and needed multiple transplants: he was transferred to a hospital in New York for this. Thor's company is the one who originally developed the surgical technology that saved Li's life. After waking from his coma, Li discovered his ability to move through other people's bodies. It's not a fun experience, but he can also reach in and edit things. He was only a nurse before the crash, however after settling in New York and joining the Necromantica he completed his degree to become a doctor. He's nicknamed Vision by the group and his close friends for his ability to see into another person's body. His power is extremely useful when performing delicate operations and a group of nurses and doctors who work with him know how he does it in case anything goes wrong, and to protect the secret.

Carol Danvers: Flew rescue helicopters to collect soldiers and sometimes civillians from high-risk areas around the world. Was one on the best pilots they had until her chopper was gunned down. She was flying a new and somewhat experimatal helicopter developed by engineering researchers at the time and absorbed a ton of radiation from the engine. She had minor injuries - only a broken arm and severe bruising - but had intense radiation poisoning. Eventually she recovered: mainly due to her power. She can drain the field of life force that radiates from everything living and can store it up to expel in photon blasts.

@salty-ironstrange-shipper @stxphxn-strange @ironstrange-prompts

U probably have no idea who I am, but I like your blogs and thought you might find this cool :)

[schrijverr]

'Till Death Do Us Part

Part 10 out 13

When Alex has to bring Philip to work, he and Thomas discover that they both have something in common: they lost their love. They form an unexpected bond and connection about this that grows into something more.

A medium burn with parental feelings about Philip and flowers.

On AO3.

Ships: Jamilton

Warnings: mentions of death and loss.

~~~~~~~~~

Chapter 10: Virgin’s Bower Means ‘Filial Love’

The three of them were sitting around the dinner table eating, when Philip asked: “Are you my dad now too?”

Both paused and Alex looked at Thomas with wide eyes, clearlynot sure how to explain that question while Thomas was frozen in shock. After a moment of finding his wits he choked: “Why are you asking, Pip?”

“When I was talking to Theo about how you guys love each other now and then she says her cousins have parents who don’t love each other anymore, but they have new people they love and they are her cousins parents now too, so since you two love each other now does that mean your my dad too?” Pip explained his thought process.

“Well, uh- I- Thomas?” Alex said, not wanting to make decisions for him.

“What do you-” Thomas started to ask Alex why the fuck he was shoving this conversation on him, before cutting himself off and taking a calming breath. This was not how he had imagined his evening to go when he said yes to dinner.

Philip just watched the two of them with a confused expression, not sure why they were being so weird about his question.

“I don’t know, Pip,” Thomas finally answered calmly, “I can never replace your Daddy, John, and I can never tell you how you should feel about me. It’s honestly up to you.”

Alex mentally thanked Thomas so hard for coming up with that answer, which saved them both from answering.

Sure, he would love to not be the lone parent for Pip, but he would never ask that of Thomas. He knew the other loved his son and Thomas had assured him often enough that he enjoyed taking care of him, but being a dad was a whole other step.

A step that was more commitment, both to Philip and Alex. So Alex could never ask it, Pip however…

“Up to me?” Philip asked.

“Yeah, kiddo,” Thomas nodded, “If you’re more comfortable with me being your Uncle that is totally fine, but if you want me to be your dad, then I’m up for that.”

Alex hadn’t known that, it seemed like Thomas had thought about it a bit more than him. He had suppressed the thought every time it came up, not wanting to get his hopes up only to be disappointed.

Thomas, on the other hand, had had the thought in the back of his mind ever since it had gotten serious. He knew that if this was long term, one day this decision would come. The only reason he’d never brought it up was because he didn’t want Alex to think he wanted to replace John and because it would make them that much more serious.

And he didn’t want to scare Alex off bybeing more intense, so since Alex hadn’t said anything, neither had he. Until Philip had brought it up.

Both watched Philip as he thought about Thomas’s words. Alex was glad that Philip seemed to take this serious and was actually contemplating it, instead of just rushing into making a decision. A skill he had picked up more from Eliza than him if he was honest.

“I’d like for you to be my dad,” Philip finally broke the silence.

Alex was both relieved and tense at the revelation. Would Thomas really be okay with it? Was he just pretending and was it now going to be awkward? But- but what if Thomas meant it? What if he wasn’t going to leave?

Thomas smiled and held out his hand for Philip to shake: “Then I’m honored to be your dad. Here, we’ll shake on it.”

Philip shook his hand enthusiastically, then said: “But I can’t call you Papa or Daddy, I already have those, but dad sounds boring.”

“Well,” Thomas offered, “I call my mom, Ma, so you could call me Da, if you want.”

“Da,” Philip tried it out, then grinned toothily, “Da is good.”

And with that it was apparently settled for Philip, who went back to eating his dinner as if he hadn’t just made a big change in their life.

Alex eyes searched for Thomas and when they met, he frowned concerned, then quirked a brow to ask: ‘You okay with this?’

In return Thomas did the smile that made his eyes crinkle and nodded, even doing a small thumbs up. Alex received the message: ‘Yes.’

With the confirmation Alex allowed himself to smile back. Though he had hoped, a small cynical part of his brain had never believed Thomas would agree to this, had never believed he wouldn’t be alone.

He knew he was selling his friends short, God knows he wouldn’t have been able to raise Philip the way he had if they hadn’t stepped up the way they did. All the times they picked up Philip, watched him, took him out for fun days, had saved him so many times, but they would never be John.

Not that Thomas could be.

It was just that Thomas came close, he was so different from John, yet in all the places Alex needed him, wanted him. He fit.

When Alex was tired, Thomas got up. When Alex was busy, Thomas made time. When Alex couldn't handle it, Thomas stepped up.

The dynamic was vastly different to what he and John had and Alex didn’t think he would ever find something like that. But that didn’t matter. Thomas wasn’t the same, but Alex wasn’t the same as he was back then either.

They worked well together and Alex would never want a new John, because no one could be a new John. Alex wanted a new chance at living the life, they wanted and he could see himself living it with Thomas.

Philip might be oblivious to how much he just did, but neither mind as their – their– son happily ate his dinner while telling them about the haunted slide at his school.

Later that evening, when Philip was tucked into bed, Alex checked in again: “Hey, I don’t wanna make things awkward and I am totally on board if you are, but I do have to ask. Are you truly okay with being a dad to Pip?”

Thomas paused to think. This calmed Alex more than he would think, but Alex appreciated it when people actually thought about his words before responding that way he knew they actually meant it when they replied, which was great when it was about emotional things. Which he was bad at.

“Yeah, I’ve always wanted to be a dad, honestly. And Philip is the best kid I could hope for,” he responded finally, “I also meant it when I said I don’t want to replace John. I’m gonna be me and I’m gonna try to do my best for Pip, if you let me.”

“God, every time I think I can’t love you more, asshole.”

“The insult and statement are really messing with me, du-” he got cut off by a kiss and when Alex broke he said: “I’m going to ignore that you tried to call me dude there, bro.”

“I hate you.”

“And I live to please,” Alex smirked, a smirk that fell ashe sincerely said, “I’m very grateful for what you do. With Pip.”

“I do it with love and I mean that,” Thomas dropped a kiss on his head, beforechangingthe subject, “Now Angie told me during lunch that you once claimed Money, Money, Moneywas ABBA’s best song and I’m going to need you to defend that statement, because that is clearly incorrect.”

“Oh and what do you think it is then?” Alex challenged.

“Waterloo, duh.”

“The historical bullshittery in that song alone is enough to disqualify your position, try again.”

“And your opinion is so great because…? Eh, riddle me that.”

“Money, Money, Moneyradicalized every young queer person who watched Mamma Miaand you cannot convince me otherwise.”

“Says nothing about the quality of the song, baby. Waterloois and remains superior.”

They squabbled while they cleaned up the kitchen, finally ending up in playing the songs, which then developed into a karaoke and dance party, but they will never speak of that again.

When they got to the office the next time, Alex stopped by Angelica’s office and leaned against the door. She looked up, unimpressed, and said: “What?”

“You know, if you gossip about my relationship behind my back, you really gotta learn how to pick your dates,” he told her condescendingly.

“What?”

“Developments happen when you’re away, sweetheart,” he started to walk away with a smirk.

“Alexander come back here and tell me,” she flew out her chair and hurried after him, “Alexander Hamilton, don’t you dare set another step without telling me everything.”

Thomas heard the ruckus and poked his head out of the door: “Are you terrorizing Angie again, Alex?”

“Nah, just extorting a cookie and free dinner out of her,” Alex smiled sweetly.

“Are those your demands?” Angelica asked sharply.

“Yeah, Philip’s eating at Eliza’s tonight, hope you have time,” Alex blew her a kiss before sashaying down the hall, when he passed by Thomas’s office the man rolled his eyes: “Menace.”

“Come get your cookie at coffee time,” Angelica called after him.

Alex saluted, before settling down in his office with a satisfied look on his face as he got to work.

The day passed by as Alex typed his documents, went to his meeting, ate lunch with Thomas, before driving to Angelica’s place where he told her everything that had happened yesterday.

At the end of the night he bid her goodbye: “Bye, Angie. It was nice to catch up again.”

“Yeah, the same, ‘Lex, don’t be a stranger,” Angelica hugged him and kissed his cheeks, before telling him to say hi to Eliza and Maria from her and to tell Eliza she’s rude.

The drive to Eliza and Maria’s home was uneventful, but when he pulled up to their house, Eliza was already waiting for him in the doorway. She had her arms crossed and when Alex was close enough to hear, she said: “Why did I get a text from Angie reading: ‘One of Pip’s dads is coming your way’ winky face, she typed a winky face, Alex.”

“And you really think I’m not here to tell you and pick up Pip, you think so lowly of me, ‘Liza,” he grinned.

“Oh thank God, thought I was going to force you to tell me,” she sighed with relief, Eliza was never one for forcing people. Though she could be scary if she wanted to.

“Didn’t Pip say anything? I’m surprised, he’s usually a talker,” Alex said, stepping inside.

As if on cue, Philip came running. He threw himself into Alex’s arms and said: “Papa! We had dino nuggets for dinner and I drew everyone, wanna see?”

“Of course I wanna see, buddy,” Alex smiled.

Philip bounded away to get the drawing and Eliza asked: “So what could he have said?”

“I think he will already tell you, did you ask about the drawing yet?” Alex replied.

“No, not yet. He’s been working on it ever since he got here, but he wanted to finish it first,” she said as she led him to the kitchen table.

“Ah, how are you and Maria, by the way?”

“Good, Maria is at the orphanage today, so it’s just me here. We’re doing a drama program in the weekends currently, so that’s a lot of fun,” she told him.

“Oh, wow, sounds fun. Are the kids enjoying it?”

“I think so. We got a few actors running around, that’s for sure,” Eliza smiled.

“Well, I’ll be sure to keep an eye on movies in the future,” Alex grinned back, “Angelica says hi to you both, by the way, and I had to tell you you’re rude. She’ll kill me if I forget.”

Eliza’s smile turned exasperated and she replied: “I’ll call her tonight, haven’t spoken to her in a while, you know how she gets.”

Alex chuckled at that, but didn’t get to reply, because Philip came back with the drawing. He put it on the table and climbed into the chair next to Alex, so that he could show his Papa the figures. It weren’t stick figures anymore and most of them were pretty recognizable.

Pip pointed at first figure and began to explain: “This is Grandpa George and Grandma Martha and they’re holding hands and next to them is Uncle Laf, he’s annoying Grandpa George, but he doesn’t mind.”

Alex saw that the drawn Lafayette had a speech bubble with senseless scribbles in it.

“And then on the other side you have Uncle Herc and then Auntie Maria and Auntie Eliza, Auntie Maria is giving Auntie Eliza a kiss, like she does whenever she leaves.”

“Is she going then?” Alex asked.

“Maybe, I don’t know yet, maybe I’ll add a portal behind her,” Philip answered, “Next to Auntie Eliza is Auntie Peggy, she’s poking you. You see Papa?”

Alex studied the figure that was meant to represent him. It was a green blob with his beard and long hair in a messy bun, who was holding hands with the figure he assumed was Thomas. The Peggy figure was indeed poking his cheek. He smirked: “I can see that, Pip. Very well done.”

“Thank you, I was gonna make Auntie Angelica next to you, but she is now standing next to Uncle Laf and being tired about his actions,” Pip explained, making the both of them laugh.

“Who is that?” Alex asked, spotting a figure in the sky.

“That’s Auntie Martha, Da said she’s dancing with the stars, so I drew her with the stars and here is Daddy with angels,” Pip told him.

Alex now recognized the colors as one of the dresses Martha wore in the pictures in Thomas’s house, then also the outfit John wore in the picture on the mantle piece.

He was a bit chocked up about it and was luckily saved from replying by Eliza, who repeated in a questioning tone: “Da?”

“Yeah, Da’s here,” Pip pointed to the magenta figure with big hair holding Alex’s hand, “He’s holding Papa’s hand and I’m in between them.”

“Do you mean Thomas?” Eliza asked, giving Alex a look that meant ‘you could have at least given me a bit of information’. She was piecing it together along with Angelica’s text.

“Yeah, he’s my dad now too, isn’t that cool, Auntie Eliza?” Pip answered excitedly.

“Very cool,” Eliza smiled, “When did that happen?”

“Yesterday,” Philip informed her with a smile, “I asked if he was my dad now too during dinner and he said I got to pick and I said yes, so now he’s my Da.”

“Oh wow,” Eliza glared at Alex. The message was received: ‘We’ll talk about this later.’

Alex just rolled his eyes and just focused on letting Philip explain the drawing in more detail, before getting them home.

While that was all happening, Thomas ate dinner by himself for the first time in a while. The house didn’t feel that much like home anymore and Thomas didn’t really want to acknowledge it, so when he had finished his dinner, he decided to call his Ma.

“Hello, this is Jane Jefferson speaking,” she picked up.

“Hi, Ma, how are you?” Thomas greeted her warmly, ever since his call after his birthday they’d been calling more and Thomas found their relationship improving despite the distance.

“Ah, Tommy, I’m good, I’m good, how are you?” she replied, then cheekily added, “How’s your loverboy?”

“Ma,” Thomas whined.

“What you never tell me anything, I can ask.”

“I do tell you almost everything,” Thomas refuted, “I’m actually currently calling you to tell you things.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, I- uhm, I guess, I’m a dad now,” Thomas decided to start there.

“What?”

Thomas expanded: “Philip calls me Da, so that happened.”

“Oh my God, I officially have agrandson, how exciting,” his Ma gushed.

“I guess so,” Thomas chuckled.

“Am I meeting my grandson and my future son-in-law anytime soon or are you still not asking them?” she inquired.

“They’re also coming to Monticello this summer,” Thomas was glad he could answer that question this time, “And can you please not refer to Alex like that when we’re there.”

“And why not, is it not true?” Thomas could practically see his mother’s amused look.

“It’s embarrassing, Ma,” he was also not above pleading and whining.

“I’m not embarrassing.”

“You are very embarrassing.”

“We’ll see that when you get here, will you and Alex be sharing a room?”

“Yeah.”

“No funny business under my roof.”

“Ma!”

And they talked like that for a bit more. Thomas was both excited and extremely nervous to go home again that summer. He didn’t know if Alex and Philip being there made his nerves better or worse.

A while had passed between that call and the summer break. Thomas and Alex had worked a bit longer and Pip had spend a good chunk of time at the orphanage and his other Uncles and Aunties until it was time to go.

When the day came to drive down, Philip was brimming with excitement. It was a six hour drive, so they left in the morning, but that didn’t stop Philip from pointing out everything he saw that he rarely saw otherwise.

Thomas thought it was kind of adorable and listening to his kid’s rambling calmed him as did Alex’s even breaths from where he was napping in the passenger seat.

About an hour and a half into the drive Alex woke up with a small yawn: “H’w lon’ was I out?”

“Not that long,” Thomas assured him, while Pip said: “It was soooo long Papa, you missed so much by being boring. We drove past horses a while ago.”

“Ah, maybe we’ll see more horses later and I can see them too,” Alex smiled, “Want a snack?”

“You have snacks?” both asked in a different tone, Thomas curious and Pip excited.

“Of course I have snacks,” Alex got boxes with sliced apples out the bag by his feet as well as juice boxes and a water bottle. He handed Philip a few slices, twisted the cap off the water and handed that to Thomas, before giving Philip a juice box once his hands were empty.

They switched two hours into the drive, then again two hours after that, so that Thomas was the one driving the last part. As they drove they played word games with Pip and sang music.

It felt a bit like a road trip movie and Thomas cheeks hurt a bit from the smiling by the time they pulled into the driveway.

Alex gaped at the building and said: “I knew your family was loaded, but holy fuck.”

Thomas snorted, he was kind of used to that with the mansion they lived in. It was built in colonial style and old, he didn’t even know how it had gotten into the family, but it had. The sides were covered in small white flowers and on the porch an older lady sat in a rocking chair, waiting for them.

“Da does your Ma live in a castle with a dragon?” Philip asked as Thomas unbuckled him, while Alex grabbed their bags.

“No dragon, I’m afraid,” Thomas chuckled. Then turned to his Ma, who was coming to meet them, he pulled her into a hug: “Hi Ma.”

“Tommy,” his Ma replied, holding him tight, before letting him go and saying, “Aren’t you going to help your boyfriend unpack. I didn’t raise you like that.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Thomas rolled his eyes, taking a few bags from the back, smiling comforting at Alex. He knew that if he had unpacked first, she would have scolded him for letting her stand there. His Ma showed affection through toughness, it had taken a long while for him to see that.

Philip stared at this new lady with interest. She was older and darker than his Da, but she had the same eyes and grace to her. When she saw Philip staring she smiled: “And who is this young gentleman here?”

“I’m Philip, Philip Hamilton, it’s nice to meet you, Ma’am,” he stuck out his hand.

“How polite,” the lady smiled, “I’m Jane Jefferson, but you can just call me Mawmaw.”

“Mawmaw Jane,” Philip nodded to himself, “It’s nice to meet you. Do you own the house? Da says it doesn’t have a dragon, but it looks like it has a dragon.”

She chuckled: “No dragon, no. The most fierce beast you’ll find in there is Sir Poof, the cat.”

Philip pouted while Thomas grinned: “I take it none of my sisters are home, then.”

“Don’t get cocky, young man. Mary’s coming later. Now, I think there is someone you have to introduce me to, hm?” she replied.

Alex had been keeping himself on the background. No matter what he had said to Thomas, he was pretty nervous and wanted Thomas’s mother to like him, to like Pip. So he startled slightly when Thomas said: “Yes, Ma, this is Alex. Alex, this is my mother.”

“Hi, Ma’am,” he greeted, voice a bit higher than normal, “I’m Alexander, Alexander Hamilton, it’s an honor to meet you.”

“Jane Jefferson, same to you,” she smiled, she could see that the man was nervous meeting her, but she noted with amusement how both father and son had introduced themselves the same. It was clear who had taught the boy that.

“We got you these, Mrs. Jefferson,” Alex handed her the bonbons they had gotten her. Alex had wanted to buy flowers, but those would have gotten ruined during the ride, so instead they had gotten bonbons.

“How sweet, but none of that Mrs. Jefferson stuff. Call me Ma or Jane, alright?” she told him, taking the bonbons, “These are nice, thank you.”

“It- I- Thank you for your hospitality, Jane” Alex rubbed the back of his head.

Thomas watched quite amazed at this Alex. He had never seen this version of his boyfriend before. This Alex was awkward and unsure of what to do next, while also painfully polite. He decided to step in and save him: “We really appreciate the invitation, Ma.”

“Of course, of course it’s good to see you again, here I’ll show you where Philip can sleep, you two will share your old room,” Jane picked up on Thomas’s action.

They gathered their stuff and brought it to their rooms. Thomas’s old room was at the end of the right hall and Philip was staying in the guest room opposite of it, which Alex was grateful for as they set down their bags.

“You okay?” Thomas checked.

“Yeah, just more nervous than expected,” Alex admitted, “What if she doesn’t like me?”

“She will, I promise. You’re great and Pip is a sweetheart, she’s been excited about you two ever since she heard about you,” Thomas assured him.

“You think so?” Alex asked.

“I know so,” Thomas replied, hoping he wouldn’t have to come back on that, “Come, I’m sure you’d like something to drink.”

“Lord help me through this,” Alex sighed taking Thomas’s hand and allowing the soft squeeze Thomas gave to calm him.

“It’s gonna be fine.”

“Sorry, I know, I know, just scared it will go wrong, but I’ll be fine, really,” Alex said, unsure of who he was trying to convince, “Let’s just go drink something.”

Thomas held his hand all the way to the front porch, where Jane was sitting with Philip, cat on her lap. Alex could see from the way he sat that Philip was telling one of his many fantasy tales, while also trying to drink from a huge glass of lemonade with a straw in it.

Alex nodded a greeting to Jane when she noticed him, then ruffled Philip’s hair: “Hey, buddy, have you been nice?”

“Yes, Papa, I’ve been telling Mawmaw Jane about the Ranger Apprenticethat me and Da have been reading and aboutGeorge the Glitter Glue Man,” Philip told him with a grin.

“How nice Pip, have you thanked your Mawmaw for the lemonade?” he asked.

“I have,” Philip assured him.

Jane confirmed: “He has, you’ve raised such a polite young man.”

“Thank you, it helps that he’s a sweet kid,” Alex smiled, talking about Pip was easy, he could do that in his sleep.

“He sure is, ain’t you, Philly,” she smiled to the boy, “Really, I’m afraid what Francie and Kitty’ll do to him.”

“Francie and Kitty?” Philip asked.

“My nieces, my second oldest sister’s twins,” Thomas explained, “She’s the only one of my siblings who had kids and they have been spoiled into oblivion by all their Aunts and Uncles.”

“They’re lovely ladies, don’t let Tommy get into your head,” Jane assured him, “They just have active imaginations.”

Alex didn’t want to blame two little girls for how Philip would act, but he also didn’t want to paint Philip to be a bad kid, so he just said: “Well, Pip has a very active imagination himself, so they’ll probably get along.”

“Am I going to meet them?” Philip asked.

“Probably, Mary said she’d come,” Jane assured him, “Now while my son gives our guest something to drink,” it was a bit pointed, “why don’t you tell me more about this Glitter Glue Man. What was his name again?”

“George,” Philip supplied helpfully, before retelling his heroic death by glitter bullet and his subsequent confetti revival by Theo.

Thomas took Alex to the kitchen and poured him a glass of lemonade as well with a small: “Homemade, Ma’s famous for it.”

Alex took an appreciative sip and said: “It’s delicious.”

“Ma’s lemonade is the best,” Thomas told him proudly.

“I get why,” Alex smiled, relaxing somewhat.

They returned to the porch and sat with them, Alex softly complimenting the lemonade, before listening to Philip talk. Alex felt slightly bad about clinging to Philip’s charms, but he cut himself a bit of slack.

When Philip had finished his story, he took a pause to drink some more and Thomas took that opportunity to ask: “Who’s coming?”

“Well, Mary and her girls are coming, her husband couldn't make it,” Jane said, then she went down the list, “Small Jane said maybe, but she had business,Martha, Peter probably not, Abby said no, Lucy maybe, Anna most likely, Randolph yes.”

“So only Randy and Mary are coming?” Thomas summarized.

“Yeah.”

“Wait, is there another Jane? Why is she called Small Jane?” Philip spoke up.

“It’s a family name, we call her Small Jane to keep track of which Jane we’re talking about,” Jane explained.

“That’s funny,” Philip said.

Alex was about to say something about the commentwhen Jane chuckled: “Ain’t it, Philly. Don’t you know someone who’s been named after someone else. Family does that from time to time, so that they can point and say; ‘hey that’s your namesake, ain’t that cool?’”

Philip thought for a second, then said: “Auntie Angie says Theo’s mom is also called Theo, but when I asked Theo, she says her name’s just mom. It’s confusing, but she can push really well on the swings.”

That made Jane laugh and she ruffled his hair and said: “We have a swing in the tree there.”

She pointed at a big tree and Philip’s eyes lit up and he looked back to Alex with big eyes. Alex smiled and said: “You can go swing if you want, just be careful. Want me to walk with you there?”

“I’m big, I can do that on my own,” Philip protested, but as he got off the bench, he did say, “Thank you, Papa.”

“Stay in sight?” Alex asked.

“I will,” Philip promised.

The three adults watched Philip bound over to the swings, then Jane turned her focus to Alex: “So, has my Tommy been treating you right?”

“Ma!” Thomas exclaimed, he had told her not to be embarrassing, not that he had expected her to listen, but still.

“Uh,” she shushed him with a finger, “I asked Alex a question, Tommy. I wanna know if you’re treating him right. So, Alex.”

Alex had expected a lot of questions, but not that one, so he floundered for a moment, before he found his words: “Yeah, yeah, it’s- it’s been good, he’s been good.”

“Yeah?” Jane nodded along with sharp eyes.

“Yeah,” Alex confirmed, “He’s a huge help with Pip and a great cook, actually. He also gets me flowers,” he couldn't have helped the smile on his face if he tried, “And I feel like we have great conversations.”

“Ahw, you love me,” Thomas grinned draping himself over Alex, it might have been an embarrassing question, but having Alex list off his good qualities in front of his Ma was an ego boost if he ever saw one.

“Like you didn’t know that, dork,” Alex attempted to push him off, but the push was light enough for Thomas to know that he didn’t mean it.

During the exchange Jane got an approving and pleased look on her face, before she moved on to the big hitters: “And what are your intentions with my son?”

Thomas gave her big ‘what are you doing?’- eyes.

However, Alex had gotten over his initial awkwardness and his usual way of words came back: “If I am honest, I would say grow old at some point. Though currently I am just enjoying spending time with him, figuring out what makes him smile, where I can step in like he does for me. Mostly, I just want to have the time to give him all flowers he deserves.”

It was quiet for a moment as Jane sized him up, then she grinned: “I can see why Tommy likes you, he’s also the wordy one around here.”

Alex chuckled, feeling a bit more at ease with that response: “The amount of wordy we both are has made our boss very tired on numerous occasions.”

“You can’t admit you’re wrong, that’s different, darlin’,” Thomas felt the need to point out.

Did Alex know he was sitting in front of his maybe one day mother-in-law? Yes. Could he let Thomas win this argument even though responding would prove his point? No.

“I know when to admit defeat, you just don’t have sound arguments. There’s a difference, okay?” he shot back, “And no, I will not side with you on the chicken-egg debate, picking chicken is stupid and you’re just saying it because I think it’s egg.”

“It’s chicken, cause it lays the egg, Alex, it’s just nature.”

“Other animals lay eggs. Fish lay eggs and fish were the first living beings almost ever,” Alex told him, unable to let it go, “Dinosaurs laid eggs too, they were before chickens.”

“But we’re talking about chicken eggs, only chickens can lay those, therefore there has to be a chicken to lay it.”

“One, saying therefore doesn’t make your argument better. Two, you never clarified we were talking about chicken eggs, therefore you can not suddenly introduce that as a rule for the discussion and your argument falls away.”

“What was that about therefore?” Thomas grinned.

“Okay, gentlemen, chicken, eggs, interesting,” Jane cut them both off, she’d had to sit to too many Christmases when Martha was still around for her to know that Thomas wasn’t going to stop.

“Sorry, Ma’a- Ma,” Alex corrected himself last minute.

“Which side are you on?” Thomas had never not involved everyone to get on his side and he wasn’t letting his Ma off the hook.

“Alex’s, your argument is stupid,” she deadpanned, noting Alex’s shit eating grin to Thomas as she did, “What I’m more interested in is how you’ve been. The last time I saw you was last year during the summer and I appreciate the calls, but face to face, talk to me. How have you been? Your job okay? DoI need to have words with Washington?”

“No, Ma, Washington is still a good boss,” Thomas assured her, “And I’ve been doing great, I picked up reading poetry again and I have just been enjoying the small things, they make life great, you know?”

Jane smiled at the last part: “Good to see you finally having a bit of joy in your life. You always had that weight on your shoulders, it’s nice to see it gone for a change.”

“It’s nice to have it gone, Ma,” Thomas agreed, while Alex contended himself with listening, “But how have you been Ma? Not lonely out here?”

“Nah, Mary and the kids visit often, they at least do,” she said, “It’s good to have some life in this house, you know. Keeps me young. And I’ve been going to the market. Joe from the farm down by the church says hi along with Father Adam.”

“And the knitting club?” he asked.

“You know how that is. Though last time Janet brought store bought cookies, so we don’t know if anything’s going on there, but we’re keeping our eyes on her.”

“Nothing too bad, I hope.”

Jane leaned in conspiratorially and said: “Nah, Dixie saw her in the park with a handsome looking man. We think she’s having an affair.”

“Oh no, really? Janet?” Thomas gasped and Jane nodded in return: “Uh-huh, let me tell you,” then she caught up the both of them on the local gossip with names Thomas nodded at and Alex had never heard before. After that they moved on to just daily life stuff.

At some point Philip came back from the swings, confidently stating: “I think there are fairies living in the tree, the leaves speak.”

“Really, buddy?” Alex asked, hoping Jane wouldn’t judge him for indulging his son’s imagination, since he said other – weirder –stuff like this.

“Yeah, just like in that book Auntie Eliza always reads to me,” Philip explained.

“Well, I never noticed them, but maybe you can tell me more about them while we cook,” Jane told him, getting up, “We’re making fried chicken and I hear from your Papa that you’ve been helping him out in the kitchen. Would you like to learn a bit more?”

“I would love that!” Philip exclaimed, clapping his hands, before taking Jane’s and following her into the house.

Thomas turned to Alex with a big grin and sparkling eyes. Alex looked confused and asked: “What? What does that look mean?”

“She likes Pip,” he explained, “Her asking help with cooking is the number one compliment or acknowledgment you can get from her. We’re killing this.”

“Really?” relief flooded through his system.

“Yeah, welcome to the family, darling.”

~~~~~~~~~

A/N:

I made up the nieces, bc I’m not researching family trees for a fic that has gotten too far out of hand already, okay, not doing it.

As for the others I didn’t try and figure out any of the family’s personalities or actual lives, if you’re looking for accuracy a fanfic is not the place to find it. Same forin the next chapter, have no expectations on that front.

Also, yes, I am passionate about the chicken-egg discussion and I am pro egg, you can fight me.

[theoneandonlyameliajones]

For Those We Have Lost

Summary:  Annie has 1 more year left until her time is up, that was the price of being a Titan. She doesn't want to leave her life. Armin doesn't want to lose her, how will he live when she is gone?

 It was her last year to live. Twelve years ago, she inherited the female titan and accepted the power at the cost of her life. Thirteen years seemed like plenty of time back then, but now she found herself begging for more. A lot had happened these past few years, and she was frozen in her titan skin for four of them. 

“What are you thinking about?” her husband whispered into her hair as he pulled her closer in their shared bed. Despite all the death, all the time lost, the shortened lifespan, she didn’t find herself regretting any of it. She knew what she did hurt people, she knew their mission is what caused so many people to die, but she also knew if it wasn’t her it would have been someone else. That’s the thing about violence, it doesn’t occur at only one person's hand. Marley would have found someone else to inherit the female titan and the war would have happened anyway.

“Nothing,” she turned to kiss him on the forehead. She couldn’t regret anything, not when all her decisions led her to here, in bed with the man she loved. She didn’t even know she could love, not anyone aside from her father anyway, but Armin was different.

“Come on, I’ve told you what I’ve been thinking for four years without a response back, you could at least give me one now," he grumbled, his voice hoarse and eyes still closed. Those four years were the strangest for Annie and Armin was what got her through it. Of course, Hitch came in at times to talk to her too, but it was different with Armin. Hitch treated her like a diary, Armin would pause as if he was waiting for her to answer her back. So many times she wanted to, but she knew what was going on outside and didn’t want to leave. She didn’t want to take part in these matters between Marley and Paradis. But oh so many times she wanted to hug him, to come out and feel the warmth of another human. 

“It’s really nothing,” Annie whispered and paused. She had grown very good at hiding her inner thoughts, sometimes she forgot she didn’t have to with Armin. “It’s just that I love you.”

“I love you too,” he opened his eyes to look at her. She focused her attention on them, they were a lot different from the eyes she once knew. Before she got in her shell, they glowed with innocence and hope. She hated that he didn’t know the true reality of the world, how much everyone on Paradis was hated. Then, she woke up and discovered his eyes didn’t shine so bright anymore. He was jaded and depressed and she found herself longing to see the glint of hope that he once wore. His eyes had changed again now, not quite as hopeful, but not quite as solemn either. There was something else as well, something she couldn't quite place. She liked his blue eyes, she loved all of him.

“That’s not it, it’s just that you know what today is.” Armin tensed at her comment.

“I know,” he pulled her in closer, “12 years ago, you inherited the female titan, didn’t you? That means-”

“I have only one year left.” she cut him off. She hadn’t meant to start crying, she never cried, but tears were streaming down her face now and she didn’t know how to tell them to stop.

“Annie,” he whispered.

“For the first time in my life I don’t want to leave, I don’t want to die. I wish everything could be normal.” She didn’t know what normal entailed and had never experienced it for herself, but it had to be better than this. She wanted what she read in books. She wanted to grow old, have kids, and live a peaceful life. She wanted to do it all with Armin, but their time together was coming to an end.

“I’ll be right here, we’ll be together. I promise.” His shirt was soaked with her tears, but he still held her close. She knew she was going to lose this one day, but for now, it felt good to be surrounded by his warmth.

1 year and a few months later 

Armin sat next to his late wife’s gravestone and talked to it like he once talked to her frozen body suspended in titan skin. It didn’t feel the same though, she hadn't been dead last time. Last time he could reach out and almost touch her, and some part of him knew that she would come out. Now she felt lost to him, permanently. 

“Jean apparently has been getting close to Pieck. I’m not sure why, but they seem like they’d work well together. Hitch also is pregnant, she and her partner seem happy. I’m glad she was able to find someone after Marlow.” He continued to update her as pulled the grass next to her gravestone for the next two hours. He had things to do, he was tasked with helping smooth over relations between Eldians and Marley. It was good work and it kept him distracted, but his heart wasn't in it. Annie and he spent most of last year traveling together before her time was up, it was quite possibly the best year of his life, but it was over now and she was dead and he was struggling to move on.

“I miss you, I know I say this whenever I visit, but I really do. I miss the way you smiled when no one was looking, I miss your death glare when I did something stupid, I miss the warmth of our bodies together in bed. I miss you Annie more than you can imagine.” Armin was crying now, he had been doing quite a lot of that lately. He avoided it when Annie was still here, he didn’t want to upset her more. He made her believe that he’d be okay when she was gone, but he wasn’t.

It was strange, Armin was no stranger to loss, he had experienced so much of it these past few years. First, it was his parents, then his grandfather, his comrades, Eren, and now Annie. He thought he would get used to it at some point, but he never did. Each loss still managed to wound him in ways he never thought possible. Annie was the first woman he ever loved in that way, and probably the only woman he would love in that way. He knew that his time would come to an end eventually as well. He had less than 5 years left at this point, but even that seemed pointless. 

He wasn’t suicidal, and he appreciated being alive, but sometimes he wished his clock aligned with Annie’s. He wished that they could have left this world together because living without her was too painful for him to handle. Of course, there was a lot of good he could do with his remaining time. Historia needed his help and he was happy to offer it, but he found his will to live slip ever so slightly.

At first, he was living to see the sea, and eventually, he found it. Next, it was to help Paradis in its war against Marley. Finally, it was for Annie and the home they created together. He couldn’t believe that they decided to elope two months into their relationship, but he hadn't regretted that decision once. He loved being able to call her his wife and she seemed to like calling him her husband. It was comforting to belong to someone in that way and now with her gone, he felt untethered. He floated through his days not sure what to do. Sometimes he wished they had children so he could have been left with a piece of her after she was gone. Although he knew that would have been irresponsible. With both of them marked by their expiration dates, they knew it was unfair to bring a child into the world. Hange, in her discussions with Hizuru, found a way to prevent pregnancy and although it broke his heart, they decided it was the best course of action.

“Talking to Annie again?” Mikasa snuck up behind him, wearing the traditional clothes of Hizuru. They suited her and she seemed to have taken to the ambassador role well.

“Just updating her on what was going on,” his voice was shaky, a sign he was crying just a few minutes ago.

“She’d probably tell you to move on.”

“I know, it’s just that I don’t want to." his tears started again. "I wish I was the one to go first, it would have been so much easier than living without her.”

“Don’t talk like that Armin!” Mikasa's voice came out more hostile than he was expecting.

“Mikasa-” he started.

“No, please listen," she softened her tone, "we’ve all lost people, but we need to keep on living okay? I miss my parents, I miss our comrades, I miss Eren.” she paused at his name and he knew not to push. Armin was devastated by Eren’s death, but he knew it hit Mikasa differently.

“Mikasa-I didn’t mean-”

“What I mean is we have both lost people Armin, we have both lost so much, but I know the people we lost would want us to keep living even when it is difficult.” she sounded broken, this was a side of Mikasa that rarely revealed itself.

“Mikasa,” Armin stood up and pulled her into a hug.

“Armin,” she cried into his shoulder, “We have lost so many people and soon I’ll lose you too. You and I, we’ve been together since the beginning, so I can’t have you talking about dying like that. You’re the last person alive that I love. Armin, I don’t want to hear you talking about dying.”

“Don’t worry, I’m not going anytime soon,” he felt her sink into the hug. Mikasa was more than a friend to him, she was more like a sister or a mother. They’d followed Eren to hell, but now it was just the two of them. She was the only person left that he loved, and having her next to him reminded him of why he had to live. They had been together since the beginning and he’d be by her side until it was his time to leave. That’s what Eren would have wanted, that’s what Annie would have wanted. It was easy to get caught up on those that they’d lost. It was easier to forget who was still here, but he wouldn’t forget. She’d lose him eventually, but for right now he was here. He would continue living for his parents, his grandfather, his comrades, Eren and Annie. He knew that once he left, she'd continue living for him as well.

[wallwriterstuff]

Teeth || Demetri Volturi x Reader ||

A request from @volturidoll13 that is continued from this headcanon right here ——-> Demetri Reacting to a Stimming Reader <——-. I hope I’ve done you justice once more with this one chickadee :D </b>

Part 2: This fic

Part 3: Control (fic)

Warnings: TW for anxiety. Readers stimming will stem from anxiety, if you are having a rough time with yours right now be careful reading this one, and please know you’re not alone! I guess maybe a warning for biting to? There’s some biting going on.

Words: 2620

Summary: It’s been a little over two months since Demetri discovered your stimming. He’s remained vigilant ever since, keeping your anxiety at bay with a whole host of tips and tricks he’s learned over the course of your time together. The one thing he cannot stop is the march of time, and yours is running out fast…

You weren’t sure what had made you so nervous back then, why Demetri finding about your autism was such a big deal, why you were so afraid your stimming would be an issue between you both, that your anxiety and it’s side effects would somehow ruin his perception of you. In reality, telling Demetri the whole truth had been the best thing you had ever done. His sensitivity was astounding to you, because he really was diligent in checking in with you and keeping things as calm as possible in your now shared room – your baths had become a now weekly occurrence. He never treated you like you were made of porcelain either despite all his little interventions, no, he whole-heartedly encouraged your every attempt to explore and integrate yourself into the Volturi with your new found confidence, but when you needed the support he was always prepared.

Your newfound confidence came with a price.

After just a week of venturing out of your shared room you had been called to the throne room, a terrifying moment in itself given you had met them only once before to explain why you hadn’t been bleeding out with the rest of your tour group on the floor, and Aro had taken your hand with a sickly smile before joyfully exclaiming something in Italian you had had no idea how to go about translating. That was two months ago, and now you had only a single month left to live before you joined them in their immortality, perpetually frozen as you were, never moving forward, never evolving. The concept was terrifying given the stories you’d heard of newborns. You didn’t want to hurt people or be that volatile little newborn who became violent on a whim. You didn’t want to feel the inferno in your throat begging you to commit unspeakable acts of cruelty against a race you were currently still apart of.

A month left of mortality.

A month left before you became someone entirely new.

Felix’s sudden grunt snapped you out of that particular reverie, and you blinked at the bright sunlight invading your eyes despite the shade you had situated yourself in under a twisted old red maple, planted in Didyme’s honour oh so long ago and still going strong thanks to Aro’s tender loving care. They had chosen to sit beneath the branches simply because it made their skin sparkle less, which was far easier on your eyes and far less distracting since you had a tendency to try and rub off Demetri’s sparkles, like they were glitter on his skin you could just remove. Jane was smiling at your giant friend, whose teeth were clenched tight before he suddenly relaxed and shot her a glare.

“Now now children play nicely.” Demetri chided from beside you. He’d been sat a while, smoothly redirecting conversation from you when he saw your attention falter. You had been zoning in and out a lot the past few days, your mind clearly elsewhere. He’d kept half an eye on you as the twins debated a book they’d been reading the past week, Felix teasing them as was his usual manner until Jane caved to the temptation to cripple him with her trademarked glare. You clearly were not okay, but you hadn’t come to him to say as such just yet, so he’d not pressured you into talking. Perhaps after this afternoon he should? You usually jumped at any chance you got to spend time with them all, enjoying the social interaction after the long days you spent either studying Italian or with them absent performing duties you would soon help them undertake.

“What do you think Y/N? You said you’d read The Hunger Games before, what do you think of the idea that the death of Primrose is symbolic of the death of the last of Katniss’s innocence?” Alec questioned. The boy was equally as perceptive as Demetri, having found himself insatiably curious since the day Demetri had quietly spoken with them about it to ensure they didn’t harass you, and consequently had gone on to read everything he could get his hands on about your condition. It was painfully obvious to all of them your head wasn’t in the conversation but none of them brought it up, instead finding ways to lead you seamlessly back into the group when you wandered off. Your brows furrowed as you tried to think over Alec’s question, but your mind was pulled in too many directions at once. You were so focused on the dark thoughts swirling around your future immortality that your mind struggled to conjure the image of the book cover, never mind its contents.

“Erm…I don’t really…she lost it way before that.” You stumbled your way through the answer and it was audible to everyone there the way your teeth clanked together when your jaw clenched. You did your best not to flinch as Demetri cast you a concerned glance. You’d been doing that a lot, your teeth gnashing and grinding as you clenched your jaw over and over. It was a tic he had seen before, though not quite as frequently as this, and it set alarm bells ringing in his head as a thousand articles and memories hit him full force. Alec hummed, not looking entirely like he agreed with you while Jane grinned, triumph in her eyes.

“Ha! See brother, I told you!” she didn’t seemingly notice the way you flinched, teeth gnashing audibly once more at her exclamation. Alec’s face was immediately taken over by a scowl, and the pair were bickering once more while Felix watched on with obvious amusement. Demetri had given you his sole attention instead, tuning out their argument to instead take notice of the way the muscles in your jaw moved, your gaze distant and entirely unfocused as you lost yourself to your thoughts again. He didn’t actually think you were aware of the way your hand moved until he gently snatched it mid-air. You blinked, staring uncomprehendingly at the frozen fingers clasped around your wrist, centimetres from your open mouth that you quickly snapped closed. Demetri made no comment after that, sliding his hand up to intertwine your fingers together and squeeze your palm lightly.

You squeezed back with a weak smile, mentally already berating yourself for your behaviour. You hadn’t even noticed you were about to bite yourself but now you had you could feel the way your jaw ached, the entire lower part of your jaw tense from the amount your stimming had overworked it that afternoon. Demetri soothingly ran his thumb in circles over your knuckles but even his cool touch wasn’t enough to drag you from your misery today. You had less than a month to live and there was so much you wouldn’t get to do after that. You had always wanted to travel to try some of your favourite foods in their home contexts – you could only imagine how good authentic Chinese food would taste. You wanted to sleep in a five-star hotel just to see what a memory foam mattress might do to improve your sleep.

It was all trivial stuff (you were painfully aware since Caius had told you so when you’d brought it up) but they were simple things for your bucket list, you dared not even consider the big dreams you had because they would be impossible once you were-

“Ah ah ah.” Demetri caught your hand again. He still held one in his grip but the other had whipped up to make it’s way into your mouth. You completely disregarded his warning, a burning need inside of you driving your head forward in an effort to clamp your teeth around your finger, sure in the knowledge it would bring some relief if you could manage it. Demetri didn’t let you, and your head quickly turned for his hand instead. He didn’t comment when your teeth almost broke trying to break through his skin. You immediately recoiled, both horrified and mortified at what you had done, but despite the fact you wouldn’t meet his eyes, Demetri pulled you close to his chest and kissed the top of your head.

“I’m sorry, I-“

“What have I told you about apologising to me about this?” he tutted, lifting your chin with one of his index fingers. He quickly had to let go when your hand flashed up to your mouth again, desperate to chew down on something.

“To stop apologising. Sor-er…I…” you cringed, the apology ready to fall from your lips but your fear of disappointing him latching it’s claws into you and making you bite down on your tongue instead.

“You never need to apologise to me for this my love, I love every part of you, even the parts of you you struggle to love yourself.” Demetri assured you quietly. Your teeth began to grind once more because what if he didn’t see you that same way after your change? What if your crimson eyes and still heart were abhorrent to him since he revered your human-self so much?

“Can we go?” you mumbled, your head spinning with all the worrisome thoughts tumbling about it. Demetri searched your face briefly as he nodded, very well aware that this wasn’t something he could encourage you to keep fighting and you needed to tap out now and recover.

“Of course. Excuse us you three.” He glanced to them briefly, knowing they’d have heard your quiet conversation anyway so to lie would be pointless. You couldn’t bring yourself to look at them, too embarrassed by your stimming today to meet their eyes. You’d bitten your vampire mate in front of them, after all.

“Thank you.” You mumbled, keeping your head down as you walked along beside him. Demetri hadn’t let go of one of your hands, squeezing gently every now and then to try and encourage you to channel your anxiety into your hand instead of your mouth. Perhaps he ought to buy you a stressball? You’d liked the last one, though it had disappeared somewhere around the castle and sadly, his gift only worked on people and not tracking down inanimate objects.  

“Don’t thank me yet, might I give you some advice?” he enquired. You looked up at him, your expression inviting him warily to speak, though you weren’t sure what he could add since this was your lived experience, and one he had only read about. “As you go to bite down open your mouth a fraction wider, it will allow you to clamp your teeth into a wider surface area and hold your prey stiller.” He advised, half a smirk dancing on his lips. He was failing abysmally at trying to hide it.

“I – excuse me?” you were somewhat astonished he’d given you advice on how to bite yourself better. What happened to your caring mate? The one who did his best to help you calm your anxiety. The one who held your hand on nights it felt like you couldn’t breathe?

“I thought it would be sound advice,” he said, giving up on his efforts now to fight back his smirk, “As my little vampire in training, you need to know how to bite down properly. If I had been your prey just now I would have easily escaped, and you would be left hungry.” You stopped stock still, eyes bugging a bit in your head as your brain just…stopped working.

“What…did you just call me?” you asked. Demetri had walked on ahead as if nothing was wrong, but he paused to turn back towards you now with a shit-eating grin on his face, crimson eyes sparkling.

“My little vampire in training. Unless of course, you would prefer puppy? They chew on things to, no?” he tilted his head at you while your jaw dropped. Just for a brief moment there was clarity in your head, the sheer absurdity of his comment punching through all your anxious thoughts. You felt you should be insulted, was it an insult? Coming from someone other than Demetri maybe it would be but this was the man who listened to every little thought in your head, wiped away every tear and held you while you cried. No, Demetri could never do you harm, whether it was with words or fists he was bound to protect you always, he was incapable of insulting you meaningfully.

“Your little – Demetri!” you scolded. God did your jaw ache. He chuckled.

“Alright alright forgive me…though can I say, I feared your bite far more than Felix’s.” he held out his hand to you and you automatically sidled up to slip your palm against his, Demetri turning you both back in the direction of your shared room before you began to walk once more.

“Felix’s has bitten you?” you asked, your curiosity sparked.

“Oh yes. You see, when I first joined the Guard Felix was assigned to my combat training. He won every round. I, however, am a quick learner, and once I began to pick up his teachings I won my first spar against him quite easily…and the one after that, and the one after that…he gets bitey when he loses.” He revealed. You bit your lip, fighting back a smile as you imagine the hulking man tossed onto his back by your own, lithe tracker. It was a funny enough sight in itself, but adding the image of him lunging with teeth barred to gnaw on your mate was even funnier. It should have been frightening but you knew the gentle giant too well to think he would ever attack his comrades with any malicious intent.

“Alec best watch his back then, he’s getting close to Felix’s high score on Crash Bandicoot.” You mused. Demetri snorted briefly.

“Yet another fun story…Alec once locked himself in his room for three whole days when Jane picked up one of his games and completed a level he’d been stuck on for weeks on her first try.” He told you. Your smile grew a little wider, stretching across your face as you imagined the calmer witch twin throwing said hissy fit. Demetri continued his stories long after you entered your room, laying on his side with you opposite him as he regaled you with one story after another. Aro had once dropped a book on his foot after a late night of studying, looked around to ensure nobody had seen, and stuffed it back on the shelf so fast he had placed it back upside down. Jane had a beautiful singing voice but had been startled so badly by Felix interrupting her once she’d slipped right up the scale on the last word and tortured poor Felix for a whole hour straight for ruining her song.

Story after story you listened, enraptured by his smooth baritone while he played with your hair, soothing your turbulent mind as you focused on his words and his words alone. You might wake up tomorrow and find you were once more trapped in the cycle of anxiety that you were hard-pressed to escape one it got you in it’s clutches, or maybe this blessed moment of relief would last and tomorrow you would be free once more for a little bit longer until the next moment something you felt was too big too manage came along. For today, Demetri had lulled you to sleep against his side, your breathing slow and even for the first time that day. Whatever you had to face next, whatever challenges might come your way, you knew on your worst days Demetri would always be with you to help you overcome them, armed with all the latest mummyblog advice for you to rebuke.

[echo-three-one]

Chapter 27

Who's still reading this? Have fun!

CW : character death (This spoils a lot I'm sorry but I have to put it.)

THE ROAD SO FAR

Previous Chapter : What's behind door number two?

Staying in Shape

John Price

MacTavish Residence, Glasgow, Scotland

It has been almost three days since the culmination of the New York Attack and most of his contacts regarding Nero and Shepherd's movements were quiet. He was getting anxious to step back into the fight, but without sufficient intel, or even better weapons, they couldn't do anything.

Price scanned the room, everyone else started to pair up with each other, a dynamic he expected to happen anytime soon. With all the challenges they've been through, finding love within each other was inevitable. And Price was fine by that. Heck, when he was younger, he had his fair share of romance during missions.

With the thought of Nero and Shepherd resurfacing any moment soon, Price devised a plan, to keep his crew in shape and always prepared to deploy as soon as sufficient intel is presented.

With the help of Jack, they created a training and endurance exercise schedule, where the soldiers, including Price himself, would follow to still continue to stay in shape and prepared for battle. They asked permission from Soap who was more than willing to help, an excited grin all over his face.

"I'll help you set up." he said, gaining a nod from the old man.

"France will train at the basement gym." He added and Soap nodded.

From that moment, the team started training, improving their physical abilities and endurance. Weapons training wasn't possible at the moment as they left it all in Brazil.

Jack overlooked the team from afar, Samantha and Maxine were at the gym helping out France's version of the training. They did the regular set of training from standard 141 protocol, using everyday materials in exchange for some of the equipment Soap didn't own. Price also instructed a specific dietary plan for the soldiers instead of just eating whatever they liked.

While on break, the two girls, Samantha and Maxine approached Price with an excited look in their eyes. Priced raised an eyebrow and asked what they were up to.

"Everyone's doing their best and We both wanted to offer our help." Samantha explained as Maxine inserted.

"We'd like to apply as the team's dietician and health consultant. My resumé is that I have vast knowledge in cooking along with their nutritional information." She grinned.

"And Samantha here has little background on tending to physical wounds and pain. You could see how fast Alex's face healed!" Maxine added. Price was more than happy to accept their offer, it goes to show that they were willing to give whatever it takes for the people and cause they cared about.

"Alright. Guess you're both hired." he chuckled as the two cheered and made their way to their respective 'partners', probably out to share the good news.

Wiping his sweaty forehead with a towel, he looked around the main room where everybody was. Jack was by the office, looking up something on the laptop or probably just playing solitaire. Soap and France were at the gazebo, he could barely see them by the angle he's at but he couldn't miss that flashy mohawk.

To his left, he saw Samantha sitting on Alex's lap as she carefully cleaned Alex's bruise, Roach sat on the other end of the sofa, chugging a bottle of Gatorade while Maxine stood behind him, he could barely hear it, but it looked like the newly hired dietician was already lecturing him about the benefits of said drink, saying the word 'electrolytes' somewhere in the sentence.

He felt proud that this team stood by him ever since he made that choice. He was very grateful that he had someone whom he shared common goals with.

"Price. It's for you." Jack called from the office, causing him to immediately get up and answer the call.

"Aye, this is Price. Got anything for me?" he muttered.

"John. Looks like your friend is on the move." Kate Laswell spoke on the other end of the line, her voice was authoritative as always.

"Which one?" he chuckled, it was about time he received some news.

"Shadow Company. Looks like they're brave using the same car again. Same plate and all." she informed, giving Price the last route they went before going cold once again. It led them to an empty warehouse just by the docks.

"Just what are these bastards up to…" he muttered.

"I have no idea. Think you'll do recon? It doesn't strike as a threat to warrant an official team, this leads really calling your name, John."

Laswell hinted. Despite him being out of the force and one of Fbi's most wanted, Kate insisted to use such perk for further trapping the suspicious Shepherd.

"I worked hard forming the 141 and he easily disbands it like it's nothing…" she added, her voice sounded very bitter.

"Now now, Kate. Take it easy. We'll get him. He's bound to fuck up anytime soon. Keep in touch, mkay?" he said as they both said their goodbyes and ended the call.

"A little recon mission won't hurt, right?" he nudged to Jack who grinned proudly at the solitaire victory screen, cards bounced all around the edges of the screen.

John Price found himself unable to sleep. It was either he's actually excited to do some missions or he's too worried about what they're about to discover, what would Shadow Company be up to and what is the quiet Nero planning behind the scenes? His thoughts raced to a dozen possibilities, all calling for drastic measures and sacrifices. He knew he had allies by his side, allies that are always ready to do whatever it takes to fix this mess.

He lazily dragged his feet to get a glass of water in the kitchen, despite being huge, the house was awfully quiet. Too quiet that he could hear every soft rustling from the halls.

He wasn't one to eavesdrop but he couldn't help but hear soft murmuring near MacTavish's bedroom.

"So.. um.. same time tomorrow?" said a low Scottish voice a chuckle followed. It was obviously Soap and Price thought only enemies were doing something behind the scenes.

"You wish.." a female voice giggled.

"But seriously… Thanks for tonight John." she added.

"No problem, Francine. So.. what's stopping you from staying overnight?" he chuckled. Price knew this was wrong but his glass of water was still half full.

"You know that I'd love to… but Maxine also needs me right now. Especially that she's slowly recovering bits and pieces of the past." she reasoned and Price knew it was time to head back to his room quietly.

Maxine Winters

MacTavish Residence, Glasgow, Scotland

It felt real. She looked around and felt that this was more than just an ordinary dream. The vision was too dark with a small ray of light peeking from the slightly ajar door.

She knew where this was. She liked hiding here, her parent's closet.

She was waiting for Francine to find her, Francine always knew where she hid. But in this certain memory, she wasn't there.

She giggled quietly and hushed herself as soon as the door opened, France was going to find her. But instead, what she heard was her Dad saying words of assurance followed by heavy breathing. She was curious enough to peek through the small opening.

Her dad carried her Mom to the bed, his hands held hers tight, wiping the sweat off her forehead as her chest rose and fell quickly, her breath was labored and her eyes looked tired.

"Hang in there, love. The doctor's on the way." his father assured, making his wife comfortable as they wait for help to arrive.

"I don't think I can make it anymore…" She whispered.

"No no no. Don't do this to me Coraline, don't you want to see our angels grow up?" he sobbed, tears fell on her hands as he kissed it. Maxine remained still, she wanted to cry but she just sat inside the closet, peeking, frozen in a mix of fear and worry.

"I do , Love … but it looks like my body can't make it to that day… I'm sorry…"

"Don't! Please Coraline, stay strong, for me… for the kids…"

"I am… and I know that you know it." she exhaled, panting heavily after the last sentence. Her Dad hugged her until her breathing stabilized, while Coraline weakly raised her hand and hugged him back.

"Promise me you'll see the kids grow up…

Promise me to tell them how much I love them every single day…

And promise me that you'll never forget how much I loved you… Francis Maximus Winters." tears fell from her tired eyes. Her dad held her cheek and wiped it off, sobbing as she slowly closed them.

"I'm not sure if I could keep all of those promises… but I will try… I love you Coraline Winters, I always have and I always will, until the time we'll meet again." he muttered. Maxine witnessed it all, the way her father's face frowned when he realized he just lost his wife. It was one of her saddest memories.

~

Maxine gasped and opened her eyes, touching her face as soon as they opened. Tears. She was crying while asleep. She flicked the lamp and looked around her, France wasn't around. Just as she pulled the sheets so she could leave the bed, the door knob slowly turned and a soft creak was heard. It was Francine.

"France!" Maxine gasped and immediately ran to her side, hugging her tight as she began crying. France smelled different, almost masculine, but she didn't mind.

"Max! What happened? Are you okay?" France quickly hugged her, rubbing her back as she quietly bawled out her emotions.

"I saw… " She panted.

"I saw… Mom…"

"Mom died…" She exhaled as Francine escorted her downstairs to the kitchen, grabbing a glass of water to calm her heart.

"You were in the closet. We were supposed to be playing hide and seek." France muttered as Maxine turned to her.

"Francis… Maximus Winters." she recalled.

"That's dad's name. It's quite long, right? Mom actually liked him because of it." France enlightened, trying to make Max calm down.

"Yeah… is he ?" Max asked.

"Yeah… but he's kinda forgot about us now. Every time we visit he just looks for Coraline."

"Mom."

"Yes."

"He kept his promise." Max said.

"Huh?" France tilted her head.

"Mom's last words. Promise me you'll see the kids grow up…

Promise me to tell them how much I love them every single day…

And promise me that you'll never forget how much I loved you…" Max recalled from her dream and as more words were added, France's sobs were louder.

"He… he did them all…" France cried as they both hugged each other. And it was the moment that Maxine remembered what France looked like when they first met, her smile… It was the smile of someone who was finally reunited with her only family, and it was painful how the only ones she could cling to couldn't remember her.

"What's that smell?" Maxine asked as she killed the mood of the sisterly hug. France's face turned red, even in the dimly lit room, Max could tell that she was blushing.

"N-Nothing… I don't smell anything." She laughed nervously.

"I swear I passed by that scent somewhere…" she looked at her suspiciously and laughed, shrugging it off which actually made France relax her shoulders.

"Let's go back to sleep." Maxine invited her sister and they both got back to their room.

Next Chapter : Docked and Loaded

Notification Squad my Beloved

@beemybee @enderio @smokeywhalee @samatedeansbroccoli @whimsywispsblog @ricinbach

[deanwanddamons]

All I Wanna Do Is Make Love To You - Part 2

Summary: You were driving alone after getting into a huge fight with your now ex-boyfriend. You had spotted a guy standing on the side of the road in the rain, hitching a ride, so you gave him a lift. That guy happened to be Dean Winchester and you had an unforgettable one night stand with him. Part 2 continues the story and there’s a surprise in store for both you and Dean.

Find part one here: All I Wanna Do Is Make Love To You

Characters: Dean Winchester, Sam Winchester, You, Sophie (OC)

Pairing: Dean x You (kinda)

Word Count: 2.6k

Warning: Pregnancy, mentions of suicide, angst

Song inspiration - https://youtu.be/OAfxs0IDeMs

Heart - All I Wanna Do Is Make Love To You

A/N: So, this started as a one shot, but lots of you have asked for a second part so here it is! I found this one a challenge as I have never written angst before. I hope you like it! Once again I have had so much help with this and can’t thank you all enough for your advice, love, support and for being my beta’s @mummybear @negans-lucille-tblr @winchest09 @princessmisery666 @deans-baby-momma love you girls ❤️

Three Months Later

“Shit, shit, shit,” you groan, tears filling your eyes as you stare down at the positive pregnancy test in your hand.

How could this have happened? Nothing had gone right for a few weeks. You’d had to change your job to avoid your ex, office romances weren’t ever a good idea. You had to move home since said ex boyfriend had moved the woman he had an affair with into the home you’d once shared and now this.

Maybe it had been a mistake to pick up a hitchhiker and screw him in a motel room. But you’d needed the comfort, the small escape. Besides, Dean had been the best sex of your life. One night stands were supposed to be forgotten, but any girl would have trouble forgetting Dean.

Everything about the night was as vivid as reality, even the look of shock on his face when you’d bolted from the room, guilt and shame not allowing you to stick around.

Shaking your head, you refuse to believe that the first test was right. They were not always accurate so you had bought two, just in case. Looking to the side of you, you focus on the second test inside the box. You rip the plastic open and sit on the toilet. Maybe you should have drank some more water.

You had expected to hear from Paul, your scumbag ex. Maybe a text or phone call. Especially when he would’ve returned home to find all your belongings gone. But you’d heard nothing. Your best friend had offered you her spare room but you hadn’t wanted to be a burden so a few weeks later you found a small apartment to rent in town. Thank god she wasn’t here now because she’d have been the first to tell you how much of a mess you are in.

The second test would need a couple of minutes to develop so you place it on the countertop and wash your hands. As if landing the only job in town as a maid for the motel you’d spent the incredible night with Dean in hadn’t made it hard enough to forget him, the two little blue lines have now made it impossible.

“Fuck!” you yell into the mirror.

It had been a stressful couple of months, it was understandable you’d miss a period. You’d thought nothing of it, brushed it off as stress and the shitty diet you’d been keeping of late.  

Then you missed a second period and the second test has confirmed what you’d wanted it to deny.

Pregnant.

It’s Dean’s. The timing fits perfectly and you hadn’t slept with your ex for months before the split. Dean had worn a condom, but it had obviously failed.

“Fuck!” you scream again, punching the countertop, bringing your hand to your mouth when you notice a trickle of blood on your knuckles. Panic and fear are washing over your body like a tidal wave.

Sitting heavily back down on the toilet, you bury your head in your hands, and start to cry.

A Year Later

Working at the motel still reminds you of Dean, but thankfully the room your tryst had taken place in isn’t on your rota. But you’d have traded that to not have to clean room 237. Approaching the door you take a deep breath and enter your card key into the reader. Green Light.

Opening the door slowly, you enter. As usual, you feel the noticeable temperature difference from the corridor. Looking around you shiver. This room always gives you the creeps, the sense of foreboding heavy and thick. As the rumour goes, a young maid - having an affair with the motel Manager, Tony - had committed suicide after he ended the relationship. She chose to slit her wrists in the bathtub of room 237, where they used to meet. Three months later, Tony had done the exact same thing.

Pulling your cart through the door, you move quickly to the bed to change the sheets. A scratching sound from the bathroom takes you by surprise. Even though your heart rate quickens, you decide to ignore it. Gathering up the dirty linen, you dump them in the cart. There it is again. What the hell is it? There’s no one else in or near the room. The atmosphere is getting heavier, the pressure getting stronger. The need to flee is becoming overwhelming.

Again; louder now. Walking towards the bathroom, palms sweating, hands shaking, you reach for the handle and pull the door open.

It’s empty. Pulling back the shower curtain, you scream as the image of a figure materialises in the tub.

Bolting from the room, heart almost bursting out of your chest, you fall to your knees, sobbing. The need to be with your daughter, to hold her, to smell her is the only thought in your confused mind.

Grace was born on a bright, cold fall day in October. It had been a fairly easy pregnancy, but a difficult birth, so you were in the hospital for a week.

Luckily, she’s a pleasant and placid child, with the most intense green eyes, a smattering of freckles across her nose and her lips were plump and full. Every time you look at her you can see her father, which makes your heart ache, but you know you have to keep on going for her sake.

She is your world, your everything and you love her more than words could explain.

Your friend had not approved of you keeping the baby at first, as she had said it would ‘ruin your life’ but you knew there was no way you could get rid of it. Plenty of people managed to bring a child up alone, and you knew, with hard work and perseverance, you could do it too. Eventually, your friend came around to your way of thinking, even offering to babysit when you had shifts at the motel. As you didn’t get paid maternity you had to go back to work almost straight away.

The motel - you hate the place.

After the encounter in the bathroom, which had haunted you since it happened, you had done some research online, and discovered this was not the first time this had happened. Twenty years ago, the same scenario took place in the exact same room.

When the new manager started, you asked why the room was still being used. The answer was simply, “Money, honey,” so you never mentioned it again. Either the public were unaware of the history, or didn’t care, as it was almost always occupied.

Your day starts out the same as any other. Leaving Grace with your friend you drive the short distance to the motel.

Entering the reception area, you are surprised to find it empty. Sophie is usually behind the counter, but she is nowhere to be seen.

“Sophie?” you call out as you walk behind the desk to collect the key to the supply cupboard.

“Hey Y/N,” you hear from the back office, “come in here a second?”

Putting your bag on the floor, you open the door to the office to find she is not alone.

A very handsome man, with floppy brown hair wearing a smart suit is sitting at the desk. As he rises to shake your hand, you are amazed at how tall he is. He must be well over 6ft 4.

“Y/N, this is Agent Taylor from the FBI,” she introduces him as he shows you his badge.

“Hi Y/N,” he smiles, shaking your hand. “My partner, Agent May and I are here to discuss the death of Tony Phelps. He’s just getting a glass of water. He will be with us shortly. Please, take a seat.”

There are two doors in the office. One, which you just came through, leads from the reception. The other leads into a small kitchen area. You sit, with your back to the door to the kitchen.

“Why are the FBI investigating a suicide?” you politely ask Agent Taylor.

“We are not sure it was suicide,” he responds, “so we are talking to all the staff to find out if they saw or heard anything strange or unusual the night he died. Anything out of the ordinary. ”

As he is speaking, you hear the door behind you open, so turn in your seat. You realise who has just walked through the door. The man you hadn't forgotten since that night. How could you forget him?

Dean.

Your heart stops as the room suddenly loses all its oxygen. Your lungs cease to take in air, a weight on your chest pressing down on you like a vice.

Staring at him, eyes wide and glassy, a lump forms in your throat, and for a brief moment you lose the ability to form words.

What is he doing here?

He stares back at you, an expression of realisation slowly changing his features. He goes to speak, but you briefly shake your head and force your gaze from his, looking back to Sophie.

Agent Taylor clears his throat, so you turn your attention back to him.

“This is my partner, Agent May,” he explains.

Dean is frozen to the spot, hand still on the door, glass of water in the other.

“Yes..um…” he begins as he moves further into the room placing the glass on the desk. He fumbles with the inside pocket of his jacket, removing his badge, which he shows you. It’s upside down. Smirking, he flips it over. “Agent May,” he croaks. You notice his hands are shaking slightly.

“Hello,” you nod at him, glancing at him briefly, then turning away. Attempting to take in a full breath, you count to 10 silently, hoping this will slow down your increasing heart rate. That smirk has brought all the memories of your night together crashing back. The way his hands touched you, the way those lips kissed you, the way he made love to you.

“So Y/N,” Agent Taylor continues as Dean sits down next to him. He gives him a confused, side eyed glance, “were you here the night Mr Phelps took his own life?” he questions.

“No, I was not on shift,” you respond, trying hard not to look at Dean who is fidgeting in his seat. He has a pen in his hand, and he keeps clicking the top.

Click, click, click.

Snatching it out of his hand and placing it on the table, Agent Taylor scowls at him. Dean's eyes meet yours with a questioning look. He shrugs his shoulders.

Holding his gaze for a second too long, you swallow. A wave of nausea washes over you, the gnawing in your stomach getting stronger.

“Can I just get a glass of water?” you hear yourself say as you rise from your seat. With shaking legs you drop back down as beads of sweat form on the back of your neck and your vision blurs.

Feeling a hand on your shoulder, you hear Sophie ask, “are you ok Y/N?”

As your vision clears, you see that Dean has also risen from his seat.

“Yes, yes,” you responded quietly, “I just need some air.”

“I’ll help you outside,” Dean says as he walks around the desk.

“No it’s fine,” you protest, but he is already by your side, taking your arm. His touch sends a bolt of lighting across your skin. Gently helping you up, he slips his arm around your waist, and leads you through the door into reception.

The silence between you is palpable as you head to the courtyard out front.

Inhaling deeply, you breathe in the cold spring air as Dean turns you to face him.

“What was that about in there Y/N?,” Dean asks “why didn’t you want anyone to know we have met before?”

“Hi Dean,” you respond sarcastically. You don’t know why you are feeling so hostile towards him as you were the one who walked away after you had slept together, not the other way around, but a feeling of anger rises inexplicably in your throat.  

“What are you doing here Dean or should I say Agent May? You’re not from the FBI.”

“Never mind that, I’ll explain later. I want to know why you left so suddenly that night?”

“It was a long time ago, Dean. I didn’t expect to see you again, so just leave it,” you say as you turn to walk away.

“No Y/N, I want to know what I did wrong? I thought we had a good time, and then you just upped and left with no explanation. Were you married or something?” he protests.

“No. Everything I told you about my ex was the truth. We did have a good time, but it should never have happened,” you admit. “I was in a bad place, and not acting like myself.”

“Okay,” he agrees, “But an explanation would have been nice.”

“Oh, so you have never slept with someone then left them hanging have you?” you snap.

He stares at you with an indignant scowl.

Your cell rings. Pulling it out of your pocket you look at the display and see it’s your friend who is with your daughter. She only calls while you're at work when there is something wrong with Grace.

“I’ve got to take this,” you tell him, bringing the phone to your ear.

“Y/N, sorry to bother you but Grace is running a temperature,” she says, “she’s really cranky and I’m not sure what to do.”

Shit. Perfect timing.

“Okay, F/N. I’ll be there as soon as I can,” you tell her as you hang up the phone.

“I have to go Dean. My daughter isn’t very well and the sitter just rang.”

“Your daughter?” he asks, surprised, “How old is she?”

“Six months,” you tell him quickly, not thinking as your focus is now on getting back to your daughter as quickly as possible.

“S-six months?!” Dean stammers. Your eyes go wide as you realise your mistake, the panic rising in your stomach when you look up at the green eyed Winchester. You could see the cogs whirring in his brain, working it all out. You should have lied about her age.

“I need to go,” you say quickly, turning around to begin to walk away from him and this situation.

“Is she mine?” His question made you slow down slightly but your mouth was unable to form the answer. You swallowed hard but before you could make your next move, Dean was behind you, grabbing your arm as he whirls you around to face him.

“Let go of me, Dean!” you demand, attempting to pull away but he keeps a firm grip on you.

“Y/N, is she mine?! I have a right to know,” he pleaded. With a bone dry mouth, your heart almost beating out of your chest, you look up at him as his green eyes search yours for his answer. This was it, you couldn’t hide it from him so you slowly begin to nod your head.

“Yes.”

Part 3

Tags - @sherlock44 @adoptdontshoppets  @for-a-brothers-love @ilovetoread44 @supraveng @jawritter @sandlee44 @prettydeaneyes @moonlessnight126 @maddiepants @in-deans-arms @magssteenkamp @zpandaqueen @thevelvetseries @sonofabringmesomepie​ @fandom-princess-forevermore @cleighwrites ​ @linki-locks11​ @dancingalone21​ @chocolateheart​ @awesome-badass-cafeteria-sauce​ @shademered​ @jensensjaredsandmishaslover​ @onethirstyunicorn​

[cherryfi]

Under the light of the full moon

Plot: Moving into a new neighbourhood is hard, especially when you’re a wolf and it’s almost time for the full moon or, the one where your new hot ass neighbour is also a werewolf.

Word Count: 4875

 Werewolf AU! Smut!

Pairing: Bang Chan x Female Reader

Warning: 18+! Oral, unprotected sex, exhibitionism, a little violence

A/N: Part of my halloween series! Requests are open! I liked writing this one but, I still think I could have done better you know? Anyway, Chan is so beautiful oml I just want him to dick me down. Enjoy!

“Your neighbour is sexy as hell.”  You laugh as you glance over your shoulder at your best friend, you’re putting up the last of the scent blockers in your new home and she’s supposed to be helping you.

However, she’s stood at the window, watching as your neighbour makes his way back from his morning run. He was shirtless and wearing running shorts – it was hard not to notice how hot he was.

You’d finally moved into your new home and were adding the finishing touches. Moving to a new town was hectic and super stressful but, you were taking it in stride. Honestly, nothing could get you down. You’d gotten a promotion at work, which meant a bigger office and you had a big enough bonus to purchase the house of your dreams. It was perfect. A 3-bedroom house surrounded by lush forest – the perfect getaway from the chaos of the city. Being a wolf, and a lone one at that, you needed all the nature and open space that you could get. Especially when it was a full moon.

 “He’s even hotter up close but, I’ll be keeping my distance.” She glances at you, eyebrows raised and prompting you to continue. You really didn’t want to have this conversation.

“He came over to say hi when I first moved in, he’s a really sweet guy but he’s a werewolf so, it’s not going to happen.” She looks at you in shock and then laughs incredulously.

“How do you know? Has he told you? Does he know that you’re one as well? If you’re both werewolves shouldn’t that be a good thing, you can finally meet someone; and you won’t have to worry about explaining why you have to go out every full moon?” You laugh at her babbling.

“I can smell it on him, it’s like a perfume, you know? His scent is quite strong but, I’ve got no idea what that means. He came by to say hi when I was moving in and I smelled it on him, obviously. He’s an architect and he does carpentry in his spare time, so he was offering to help out.”

“He helped you move in? He was in this house with you? You had that whole gorgeous man in your home and y’all just talked about work? Also, you didn’t answer all of my questions.” You laugh at how pushy she is, and she raises her eyebrows, placing her hands on her hips

“He helped the movers with the sofa and some of the drawers, so we didn’t talk much. It was pretty late, and he said he was just coming in from work. I haven’t told him anything and I don’t think he can smell it on me because of the scent suppressors.”

You hold up your necklace, the charm glinting in the light from your window. As long as you wore it other wolves wouldn’t be able to smell you.

Which came in handy because you were alone and had no pack.  

A lone wolf was an easy target for any pack, especially an omega, all it took was one curious alpha and it could be all over.

Staying hidden in plain sight was your best option.

“So, when are you going on a date with him?” She wiggles her eyebrows suggestively at you and you laugh before sighing.

“I’m not.  Jas, all he did was help me move in. It’s no big deal.” But you couldn’t help but feel a little hopeful at the chance to get to know your attractive neighbour some more. You imagined dates with him and spending time with him. Would he kiss you when he welcomed you home or would he cuddle you instead?

Chan was ridiculously handsome, with his gorgeous smile and pretty eyes. His Australian accent was the stuff of dreams and it didn’t help that during the little time you’d spent together, he was friendly and warm.

He was boyfriend goals.

But, it would never happen.

He was a wolf and judging by his scent, he must have been an alpha and if he was an alpha, he had a pack. Being his friend would only lead to issues down the line. The closer he got to you, the closer he would get to the truth and you weren’t prepared to tell him that.

“Besides, it’s almost time for the full moon, I need to make sure all my charms are put up; so, no curious wolves come poking around.” The perks of moving to a rural area was that the surrounding greenery was the perfect cover for a lone wolf who wanted to stay hidden.

It gave you the perfect opportunity to spend as much time as you needed in wolf form (especially during the full moon) and it meant that you didn’t have to travel as far to get to a wooded area.

But that came with it’s cons.

A large forest meant more space for other packs, which, of course, meant more wolves.

“If you’re a wolf, why do you need to ward off other wolves again?” You’re in your kitchen now, sipping hot chocolate as you wait for your home to heat up. The chill October air finally seeping in, as it gets late into the evening.

Jas had been your best friend since you were seven and she was there for you when you were attacked.

Other than your mum, Jas was the first person to know what the ‘animal’ attack had really done to you.

Coming from an active family and living on the peninsula meant that as a family you’d always gone hiking. You were an avid hiker and forest walker, spending plenty of time in the hidden meadows and next to the brooks, streams, and rivers that ran past your home.

This was your thinking place – it was where you hid away when life became too much and the weight of the world threatened to crush you underfoot.

Today was one of those days.

Finals were coming up and life was changing way too fast for you. Your friends were moving away from home, you were all going to separate schools, come autumn and your family was falling apart.

You were reeling and the only thing you could think to do, was to go to the one place where nothing ever changed.

The forest.

You grabbed your camera and packed a hamper with your favourite foods, your schoolbooks and a blanket. You were going to one of the many meadows you’d discovered, this one was close to a small stream; and you were going to relax the day away.

But when you got there, the forest was silent.

The silence hung in the air like a stale, musty smell.

Thick and heavy with tension.

None of the animals were chirping or making noise, it was as if the woods themselves had been frozen in time.

You shook the eerie feeling off, sure that it was your own anxiety towards the future that was making you antsy.

But then you saw it.

Your eyes caught on to the movement of the trees, just on the outskirts of the meadow. It took some time for your eyes to adjust to the movement but, when they did, you gasped.

The trees moved artificially. Almost jerkily as you caught sight of 2 eyes.

They caught the nearby sunlight and glinted but appeared almost as if they glowed on their own and soon, the wolf stepped forward.

Almost haughtily as if it tasted and enjoyed your fear.

You packed your things slowly.

Maybe if it noticed you packing, it would understand that you were going to leave and meant no harm.

Were you meant to make yourself look smaller and submissive or bigger and more threatening to a wolf? You didn’t know but, you hoped it would understand the message you were trying to convey.

“I don’t mean any harm; I’m going to leave now. Please let me leave in peace?”

It made a noise, something like a barked laugh and approached you further.

It was blocking the way you came.

You picked up your hamper and walked backwards, keeping your eyes on the wolf and thinking of any ways that you could get away from it and into civilisation.

It didn’t matter what you did, the wolf kept stalking towards you.

Once nightfall came, you knew you were screwed.  

As the sun began to set, the temperature dropped, causing you to shiver, and you’d lost sight of the wolf.

Despite it’s larger than normal stature, it was completely black, and the only light you had was your phone’s flashlight. It wasn’t powerful enough to be of any help to you.

How were you going to get out of this?

Especially because you didn’t know what’s its agenda was.

What did it want with you? Why did it continue to stalk you?

Your signal was down, and you had no way to contact anyone.

You began to sob.

Broken and completely alone, you began to wonder if this would really be your fate – mauled to death by a determined monster-wolf.

Suddenly, the pressure to do well on your exams and to fix your parents’ crumbling marriage didn’t matter.

Worse things were about to happen.

“Please! Please, leave me alone! I’m not going to do anything to you, I won’t even tell anyone I saw you. I’ll never step foot in this forest again, I swear. Just please don’t hurt me.” Going hysterical, the only option you really had left was to plead to this creature.

It wasn’t a normal wolf; you’d known that then.

The way it stalked you, wasn’t normal, the way it looked at you with those almost human eyes wasn’t normal.

As if showing you some mercy it broke through the trees and approached you.

Towering over you, it huffed in your face and you stood up from the cold ground, hoping that it would let you leave. The moonlight illuminated its fur making it look almost ghoulish. It should have been frightening, but the wolf was calm and so were you.

The  wolf really wasn’t so bad.

You reached out your hand and petted their fur, it nuzzled its head onto your shoulder.

And then tore a chunk out of your side.

 You shuddered at the memory, unable to really remember what had happened after you’d screamed and passed out.

“I have to. After that wolf turned me in the forest, I had to learn everything on my own. Honestly, I was angry at first, I’d go into the forest every day to hunt it down. I was going to kill it. But then my first full moon came, and I was all alone and there were no other wolves there to help me. I had to deal with it on my own. I just wanted it to show up. It never did. I won’t get played like that again.”

“So, you’re scared that if you let another pack in, they’re just going to abandon you.” She doesn’t have to question it.

“It’s different with other people. You and my mum have never left my side and dad supported me so much after they found me. Hell, he led the search party. But, the only experience of wolves I have is that one and I’m not going to let it happen again. Even if that means being alone forever.”

“Yeah, well who needs a pack when you’ve got a Jas? Am I right?”

  Chan knew you were a wolf as soon as he stepped out of his car.

He couldn’t catch your scent, which meant you must have been blocking it but, that didn’t matter.

They were other markers that gave it away; like your body language.

As soon as he stepped out of his car, you stiffened; you weren’t even facing him, but it was clear that his presence was affecting you.

And when he came over to say hi, you shrunk away from him.

You were being submissive to him; which must have meant you ranked lower than he did but, what rank you were was left to be seen.

What was clear, however, was that you were alone, there was no scent of any other wolf on you or your things and none of the people helping you to move seemed to be wolves either, not even the friend that came over later when he said goodbye.

So, he scent-marked as many of your items as he could, hoping that that would help alleviate your anxiety towards him and that it would protect you from other wolves.

Even if you weren’t in his pack, he’d decided you were his responsibility and especially with the full moon coming, wolves needed to look out for each other and as an alpha, it was his job.

He knew what kind of wolf you were after he’d finished helping you move in.

“That’s the last of it!” He smiled, rubbing his hands together as he faced you. He could hear your heartbeat picking up.

“Thanks for helping me out Chan.”

“Hey don’t mention it. Consider it the start of an amazing friendship.” He wrapped his arms around you unexpectedly and before you could catch yourself, you returned the hug, nuzzling into his neck and breathing in his scent.

You were an omega.

It almost scared him how happy he was that you were comforted by his scent and by his own revelations.

No matter how long it took, he was going to make you his but, he hoped he could at least make you notice him by the time the full moon came.

  You were antsy.

Which was normal given that the full moon was that night, you were always on edge by the time it came around.

Your wolf, scratching just beneath the surface of your mind was ready to be let out.

So, you let her out.

You’d spoken to your mum and  she’d wished you luck for the full moon, in the same way that she did every time it would rise. You told her you’d call back once you returned home.

You’d told Jas that you would be gone for a few days and that you would call her once you were back as well.

Sitting under the light of the full moon, you waited in front of your tent, the campfire blazing high as you stripped out of your clothes, folding them neatly and placing them inside.

It was all part of the routine.

You turned after that.

Your bones shifting and rearranging, your muscles lengthening and growing and the hair on your skin thickening into fur; your jaw cracks and grows into shape.

With one last roll of your shoulders, you shift you the weight on each of your legs, giving yourself time to become re-accustomed to your canine form before you wandered around this new area.

It was a wild meadow, a lot like the one back home, the smell of lavender filling the air as it swayed in the bitter wind but, you weren’t cold.

Back when you’d first shifted, it had been extremely painful, it had taken you hours to get over the pain and fear of readjusting to another form but now, it was light work.

What was excruciating pain, was now a muscular ache; the same kind of pain you got after a heavy workout.

You ran around the meadow and into the woods themselves, leaving your makeshift campsite at its edge, just under the cover of the trees – hoping no one would find it – and headed into the clearing.

The clearing led to a cliff’s edge and you sat there watching how the moon’s glow cast itself on the forest down below and swept across the horizon, it was the only light to be seen but, it was all that you needed, your eyes were sharp.

The wind swept across the trees and forestry making them dance in time and you sighed in contentment, withholding the urge to howl.

As much as you were at peace, the last thing you wanted to do was to alert another wolf to your position.

The wind carried another scent across your nose, and you looked to your left, catching a glimpse of movement.

Too late.

You noticed it too late.

Looking back at you, was another wolf.

The way the light shone off their fur made it hard to discern their colouring but, you guessed it was a sandy brown.

You both stared at each other, and the wolf stood up from their stoop, clearly curious about you and without thinking, you took off. They followed after you, only a little caught of guard by the abruptness of your movement.

Their scent caught you again.

It was Chan.

Did he know it was you?

You didn’t care, you didn’t have time to worry , you were doing everything in your power to dodge him.

Jumping past fallen logs and ducking around corners and trees you hoped you could confuse him with your scent and lose him.

You could hear him, treading through the bramble and underbrush behind you.

But just as suddenly as you saw him, all trace of him was gone.

You couldn’t smell Chan in the air at all, nor did you hear him in the surrounding areas.

Cautiously, you snuck back to the edge of the meadow, scared that if you entered the clearing, he would materialise.

Chan caught you off-guard, shoving you from the side.

You fell down as he clambered on top of you.

You growled at him, trying to nip at any part of him that you could catch but, he dodged your teeth every time.

You nipped at one of his front legs and he yelped pulling away from you; you took that as your opportunity. You rolled on top of him and nipped at his shoulder before his hind leg kicked yours from under you. Trying hard not to lose your footing you, got up quickly, and ran full pelt.

You didn’t know where to go but, anywhere away from him was good.

He quickly foiled your escape attempt.

Chan gripped your back leg in his teeth, pulling it back and you fell, howling in pain.

You rolled over ready to fight back but, he pinned you down, baring his teeth and aiming for your jugular.

You’d lost the fight.

If you kept trying to fight, all he had to do was sink his teeth into the soft flesh of your throat and you would lose your life as well.

His body language was clear.

Phase back and reveal yourself or face the consequences.

You shifted back, trying your hardest to cover your exposed body but not from the cold.

Chan was staring down at you, recognition in his eyes.

He shifted back too.

“Y/N?” He didn’t care that you were both naked, but you did, and you tried your hardest not to look down at his exposed body.

He smirked.

Chan sat back and you sat up as he continued to look at you.

You shied away from his gaze.

“Don’t hide from me Y/N. Aren’t you tired of hiding from me? You’ve been avoiding me and blocking your scent. You’ve been hiding what you are, and we still managed to end up here.” He slinks towards you and places his hand on your cheek.

Tentatively, Chan kisses you.

His lips move against yours softly at first but then fervently and you gasp into the kiss as he lifts you into his lap. He wraps his arms around your waist, and you wrap yours around his neck.

He pulls away first and begins peppering kisses all over your neck and shoulders, laying you down in the grass. Chan hovers over you, staring at your body hungrily.

“Y/N I want you so bad.” He growls it out, placing himself in between your legs, running his hands up and down your body and tickling you lightly.

“Can I, have you?” He leans down softly nipping at the sensitive spot on your neck and you moan out, your hands reaching up to card through his thick, fluffy hair.

He kisses further down your body and takes one of your nipples into his mouth sucking lightly and running his tongue over it until it perks while his hand massages your other breast.

You’re a mess.

Moaning louder and louder, you don’t know what to do with your hands and you grip the grass firmly, your head thrown back.

Chan kisses down your body, leaving hickeys as he goes and once he’s directly  between your legs, he kisses across your hips.

“Y/N, can I have you?” He kisses your inner thighs, nipping lightly at the soft flesh and you gasp out.

“Oh god yes.” This isn’t like you. The heady mixture of desire and his scent in the air drives you crazy.

“Baby, look at me.” His voice is deep and sultry, words dripping with honey but commanding and you look up.

“Y/N, I’m going to make you feel so good. I’m glad we’re outside because I’m going to make you scream.” You can only moan in response, too far gone with desire but, also a little shy.

How do I respond to that?

Your mind short circuits when Chan’s tongue licks a stripe up your folds, parting them a little and laying his tongue flat on your clit.

Your eyes roll back and you sigh, trying hard to keep your noises to a minimum.

It’s cold out but, you don’t feel it at all, your body temperature is at fever pitch and heating up more and more.

You’re dizzy with pleasure and Chan continues on, eating you out like a man starved.

He wraps his lips around your clit sucking lightly and moans as you cry out; his tongue continuing to drive you closer to release. His arms wrapped around your thighs holding your legs open. The noises he makes are lewd and if you’d been in your right mind you would have been so embarrassed.

Your chanting his name like a mantra now, begging him to make you cum.

Chan places one of his arms across you hips as you try to buck up into his mouth and you cry out, desperate for just a little more tension.

You only needed a little more.

“Please, pleasepleaseplease. Chan I’m begging you, please!” Your words come out garbled and your voice doesn’t even sound like your own, but Chan hears you.  

And since you asked so nicely…

Chan puts 2 fingers inside of you, curling them upwards just right as he sucks on your clit again, a little harsher this time.

He alternates between licking you and sucking, all the while pumping his fingers in and out of you at a rough pace. Your vision goes white as you cum hard, clamping down on his fingers and your eyes roll right back into your head.

You don’t have the time to feel embarrassed by how loud you’re crying out, completely lost in wanton passion.

But he doesn’t let up, even as you clamp down on him, spasming in orgasm he keeps up his speed only stopping with a kiss to your inner thighs when you beg him to stop.

You’re so sensitive.

“Did you like it Y/N?” He whispers it against your ear as you gasp for breath, trying to get composed.

“Yes.” You’re still out of breath but, that doesn’t phase Chan.  In fact, he loves it.

“I’m glad you liked it, but we’re not finished yet Y/N. You sound so pretty when you cum but, I didn’t get to see the face you make. I would love to see it so; I’m going to make you cum again. I’m going to fuck you now, would you like that Y/N? Would you like me to fuck you out here where anybody could see us?” You can hear the smirk in his voice and your breath catches.

You’re a little embarrassed but thrilled at the same time. God, he’s so hot.

I really want you to fuck me.

“How much do you want me to fuck you Y/N?” He sits back on his on his legs, watching you with dark, lustful eyes.

You prop yourself up on your arms, breathing heavily.

Chan begins to stroke himself, holding eye contact with you as he does it.

He’s rock hard, leaking precum and it catches the moonlight as it runs down his hand. It almost looks pretty.

You swallow and lick your lips. Your mouth’s watering but your throat is dry and the only thing you want to do is make Chan feel good.

Your mind is filled with nothing but him.

“So bad Chan, I want you so bad.” Chan’s hand stutters at your words and he decides that he’s tired of playing.

He reaches forward, picking you up and placing you in his lap again, you take his face in your hands and kiss him hungrily, almost desperately, whining as he grinds you down on his length.

Chan’s tongue fights yours for dominance and just like your recent fight, he wins. You gasp when he enters you.

Your so slick and so lost in pleasure, he slides right in and he moans low, at the sensation of you around him. He can’t hold himself back.

“Chan!” He’s desperate. He’s so worked up that he can barely control himself, slamming into you at a speed that shouldn’t be possible.

He ploughs into you, laying you back on the grass, so that he can grip your hips tightly and control the pace better. His hold is bruising but you don’t care, your hands are back in the grass head thrown back as you cry out again.

He knows you’re close but, he knows what will really push you over the edge.

“Oh, ohgod!” Your eyes roll back and you cry out. He circles his thumb around your clit.

Rubbing in time with his thrusts and you begin to beg.

You don’t care who hears you, you don’t even care who sees you; you just want Chan to make you cum.

Chan grunts low, his voice deep and gravely and he keeps pounding into you and the way his hips stutter let you know that he’s close too.

“Y/N, look at me. I want to see that beautiful face when you cum.” You open your eyes and the sight is the final push you need to release.

Chan’s thick hair clings with sweat to his forehead and sweat glistens all over his lean body. The light from the moon casts an ethereal glow around him and he blows you a kiss as you make eye contact; smirking at you cheekily.

You clamp down on him, your body going stiff and then snapping as your orgasm rushes through you, white hot. Your toes curl and your vision goes blank.

Distantly, you hear the sound of someone crying out and realise that it’s you.

Chan keeps rocking into you as you lose yourself in pleasure, your tight hold on him makes his orgasm hit him like a punch to the gut and he releases into you with a growl.

He collapses on top of you and rolls you both to the side, cradling you close.

It takes you some time but, eventually you both catch your breath and look at each other, giggling like a pair of kids.

“Don’t hide from me Y/N. I know you want to close off from me but, don’t. I’m your alpha, I want to take care of you.” This is it. Fear shoots through you like a branding iron and you suddenly want to run away.

But your wolf doesn’t want that, she’s content.

The 2 warring sides of your mind make you confused and you try to put some space between the two of you.

Chan’s not about to let that happen. He pins you down again and kisses you.

“Let me in Y/N. Please, let me in.” With pleading eyes, he unravels the last bit of your resolve and crumble. Chan doesn’t even flinch when you start crying,  he instead picks you up and cradles you in is arms.

“Tell me what’s wrong baby. Let me help you.”

“The only other wolf I knew is the one that turned me, and they abandoned me. I had to do all of this on my own. How do I know you won’t do the same?” He sits back to look you in the eye.

His eyes are shining with sincerity and fondness.

“I’m not them. No responsible person abandons someone who needs them. Good people don’t do that. Y/N, I live here, my pack lives here. My whole life is here, and I want you to be a part of it. I can promise you that I’m not going anywhere but words are cheap. Let me show you that I’m here for you.” Chan winks at you playfully and dries your eyes.

“You promise?” Even though you want to be sceptical, you’re hopeful instead.

“I promise. I told my pack all about you, and they can’t wait to meet you. You’ll love them.”

[pluviophile-bookworm]

AWAE 3x1 rewatch: thoughts and reactions

So we’re finally here, up to the (unfortunately) final season of AWAE. I will be rewatching and reacting to the first half of the season only, since I’ve already posted my reactions to episodes 5-10 when they were coming out. Just thought I’d say that here. 

For this rewatch, I will be adding onto the notes to myself I made when first watching the episode. Also, this is dedicated to Amybeth McNulty for her birthday today.

So, without further ado, I suggest we dive right in.

Can we talk about how Anne’s beautiful green ribbon gets untied and flies into the air while she is riding through the snow and she doesn’t even seem to care? I mean, she looks back and smiles at it, but doesn’t even think of trying to retrieve it… If I were her, I would have turned the horse around. Although it did seem like the ribbon was too high up in the air for her to reach. Also, her hair is beautiful flying loose in the wind… like we’ve never seen it before. [Present-day note: of course we’ll see it like that again, and from Gilbert’s point of view. That scene was magical. Truly magical]

So… Ruby still has it for Gilbert… and she has it going on strong… she’s supposed to be covering the hockey game for the school newspaper, but she’s dropped her notebook in the snow [Present-day note: again, my dislike of ruining material objects speaks here, but - I felt really bad for that notebook. It’s done nothing to deserve being ruined by the snow] because she only has eyes for one of the players… and so does Anne. I really hope the budding love between her and Gil doesn’t shatter poor little peach Ruby’s heart. [Present-day note: I’m so beyond happy she got over him before Anne realised that she was, as they would say on Friends, ‘under’ him.] She’s a dearie and deserves the best.

The hockey field (probably nothing more than a frozen lake, but this is the 19th century, so, you know) has apparently turned into a place of courtship, as Billy is giving his attentions to Josie and Moody to Diana… but her parents won’t allow it. “Too rich to be a minister’s wife?”, Josie teases. But then the attention shifts to Gilbert who stares at something undefined between Anne and Ruby, leaving it ambiguous which girl his affections are directed to. The whole thing is very awkward to watch, and with no Cole around to reassure Anne that Gilbert has a crush on her, and her only, she may as well think he’s finally returning Ruby’s sympathies. That scene is intense.

The natives appear – a man and a little girl, presumably his daughter, the girl that was mentioned in the articles promoting this season. It turns out the man is the one who makes the hockey sticks for the boys, and the difference in nature between Gilbert and Billy is once again emphasised by how they each treat him. Billy is superficially polite, saying “Thank you” when receiving his new stick, but he says it in a sort of patronising way, like the subtext here is “We whites are better than you”. Gilbert, on the other hand, is just as polite and respectful as he would be to any white man – or woman, for that matter. I mean, he lives with a black couple, so he can’t be racist at all. I mean, he’s an absolute cinnamon roll.

Anne is even better with the natives, as in, she doesn’t even notice anything about them that would make them superficially different than her and her peers. She asks if she could write an article about the man, but not about his lifestyle or different standards, but about the sticks he makes. She sees the quality work, not that the man doing it is non-white. And I bet she’ll be learning a lot about their life and culture later on, in a perfectly respectful and inclusive way. This is beautiful.

Billy comes back and is all kinds of disrespectful, so the girl, Ka’kwet, shows her dislike of him very clearly, and her father warns her against “stir[ring] trouble with the white man”… the tension can’t be ignored anymore. It can practically  be cut with a knife.

The man offers a great judgement of Billy – “The little man with the big ego” – in his own native language, so only Ka’kwet understands. But he couldn’t be more right.

Billy walks away, muttering “Savages” under his breath. Anne, however, isn’t shaken for a millisecond in her wish to visit and interview them later.

So, Billy won’t even be coming back to school, as he’s stepping into the family business. I’m hoping we won’t see much of him anymore. [Present-day note: Unfortunately, we will. And when I say unfortunately, I mean devastatingly. Before this season, I didn’t think this excuse of a guy could get any worse, but in the latter half he’s proven to be an absolute entitled monster. I loathe him, and I’m not even sorry for allowing myself to feel such negative emotions.]

Jane is “chaperoning” Josie and Billy as they walk back from the game? I mean, yes, she is his sister, but she’s younger than him, I think. But well, I’m not sure how chaperoning works in such a situation.

Anne arrives at the natives’… village? What is it, exactly? Anyway, her new budding friendship with Ka’kwet (which, the poor thing says, just means “starfish”; now she and Anne can bond over wishing they had a different name – although Anne isn’t as resentful of hers anymore, now that she’s signed the family bible as “Anne Cordelia Shirley- Cuthbert) is just so beautiful… this show is pure aesthetic. [Both visually and in terms of content.]

Marilla disapproves of Anne’s having fraternised with the natives… the tension builds up. I guess Anne won’t be stopped from seeing her new friends so easily, though.

At the Pye household, Josie’s mother is pressuring her to “get a hold” of Billy before someone else does. I mean, she’s a Pye – an unpleasant person as per the book, so she deserves him. Let her have him, as long as Gilbert is reserved for Anne and Anne alone. [Yeah, in retrospect, not even Josie deserves this imbecile. But I didn’t know back then just how bad he could be.]

So Anne’s words “seems to me I was destined to be the bride of adventure” from the teaser are part of her evening prayer – a change from the (apparently) usual plea to make her good-looking, which she now, on the brink of age 16, sees as a childish wish and not a real prayer. Anne has grown!

“Many suitors or even just one…” Come on, Anne, are you blind? You have one – The One at that. Take Notice of him… I mean, the Take Notice board will be returning as per a gif set I saw here on Tumblr, so I really hope Shirbert moves on a bit quicker than it has so far.

Bash and Mary have a baby! Since when? I don’t know, but I love it. Is Gilbert the godfather? Seeing as he is Bash’s best friend and honorary brother, he must be… oh dreams…. [Either way, he’s her Uncle Gilby]

Her name is Delphine? That’s beautiful. Also, Gilbert just kissed her forehead before going out to school… the dream has come true.

The unlikely duo of Rachel Lynde and Miss Stacy takes centre stage in the next scene where Miss Stacy says she doesn’t need a man as she has discovered self-sufficiency after her husband’s death. Mrs. Lynde, of course, wants to play matchmaker for her. As I said, this is an unlikely duo and I would very much like to know how this relationship turns out further.

Anne and Diana are dreading the nearing day of their separation as Di goes to finishing school in Paris and Anne goes to college in Queens. I really want to know how this separation will turn out. [Fortunately, I won’t have to find out, and neither will they.]

 Another line of tension builds up with the resurrection of the Take Notice board, as the girls discuss the pressure to get married soon and Josie teases Anne about becoming an old maid, as seen in the trailer.

Poor Ruby takes the blow instead of Anne as she, who will apparently be going to Queens with Anne and Gilbert – only in order to remain close to him (poor unfortunate soul), is desperate to receive any advance from him. I really don’t want her to suffer, but here she is now, crying about him not noticing her. I almost want her to not end up going to Queens, as that will most probably be the place where Shirbert’s relationship will finally bloom, and I don’t want her to witness that. [AWAE Ruby would have loved to be Book!Ruby, as she gets much more attention from him there - but she doesn’t care as much. However, seeing as how Book!Ruby ends up, AWAE Ruby should be glad she’s not quite her.]

Anne “bet[s she] can help” Ruby’s Gilbert issue – but if she is the root of the problem and she doesn’t know it, how can she possibly be of any use to poor Ruby?

I’ve never seen Anne ignore someone so hard as she just did Moody – he greeted her and she barely turned her head in his direction, muttering a quick “Hi” before returning to her conversation with the girls… good thing he is not one of her suitors. Although she doesn’t pay much more attention to Gilbert, you know. 

I see Moody has grown up a lot since last time he was seen, and he’s now a close second to Gilbert, at least the way I see it. That’s quite a glow up he’s had. But I kinda wanted Diana and Jerry to be a thing – and now I’m low-key shipping her with Moody “your dress is very… blue” Spurgeon. The poor guy has always been awkward around her; it’s obvious he likes her. [See, I told you I only ship couples that have explicit signs of potential to happen. Even though Diana and Moody didn’t happen even for a second, I’ve apparently seen something in her and Jerry stemming from that one single conversation they had. I mean, he did call her ‘the most beautiful girl I’ve ever seen’, so that must have been what made me ship them - even before I had the slightest idea they were going to be a thing this season. I still can’t get over the fact that they were not endgame. In my mind, at least, they are - somewhere in that future we didn’t get to see.]

 And now the super famous “take notice” scene between Anne and Gilbert is happening… oh the tension. [You know, this scene reminds me of Vanessa Hudgens’ Rather Be with You. If you haven’t heard that song, go listen to it and then try to tell me I’m wrong here.]

Anne was apparently talking about Ruby in this scene, and Gilbert was blabbing on about “the right person” and stuff… Shirbert is on!!

Well, that was a turn of events! The second Anne mentions Ruby you can actually see Gilbert’s emotions change. Kudos to Lucas for portraying that only with his eyes. How to those kids do that? 

And poor Ruby has been observing him during the conversation, of course… she is so deluded, the unfortunate thing – she thinks his reluctance to post means he’s looking for a much more romantic advance to make… Poor thing. Shirbert will break her heart and might just ruin her friendship with Anne forever… and she dies young in canon. I just hope Moira finds a way to give her the happy ending she deserves… [And, as we know, Moira didn’t disappoint there. I’m so glad things turned out for Ruby the way they did]

Jerry can read long complicated texts now… he’s reading Frankenstein [Little did I know how important this book would be for his story arc this season], for goodness’ sake! I stan one (1) beautiful [inside and out] French farm boy!! And I ship him with Diana even more now. Although if her parents won’t allow her a future minister, how will they allow a farm boy?

Diana has actual royal ancestry… but that ancestry is “keeping [her] from Queens; from [Anne]”. Isn’t this a tragical Bro-mance right there? It is indeed.

Marilla is helping Mary with the baby… makes me wonder if she has been dreaming of one for so long but never got to have it and this is why she’s so attached to this one… this series is beautiful but dramatic… it really tugs on my heartstrings.

Diana stands up for herself and her own wishes in front of her parents… but she doesn’t achieve more than angering them that way… poor little rich girl, indeed.

Also, I just love how the Barrys express their anger. Diana sits at the piano and starts playing angrily, while her mother embroiders angrily and her father reads his newspaper angrily. [I had no idea two out of those three things could be done angrily. I’ll leave it to you to figure out which two.]

The Take Notice board has a note on it saying “Susan has her sight on Moody Spurgeon”. Who is this Susan and why is she eyeing Moody if he’s courting Diana?

Anne is super excited about turning 16… “Once upon a time this was the happiest day of my parents’ life”. I really want her to find out about her ancestry eventually. But I want her and Gilbert to finally get together more. [Of course, both of these will happen in this season. I sort of knew that even back then.]

Let’s sum up: Anne has beautiful hair, but, more importantly, dreams of finding out her family history; Ruby has it bad for Gilbert - but we already knew that; Ka’kwet and her father make their first appearance and create tension in the process; Billy is racist on top of everything - but we all expected that; courting is in full swing; Rachel Lynde plays matchmaker; lots of tension caused by the Take Notice board; eye (and eyebrow) acting; Jerry reads Frankenstein; Marilla is a really good mother, and not only to Anne; who’d have known embroidery and reading could be done angrily; who is Susan; Anne is nearing 16 and things are about to change forever.