#over the months ideas kept piling on and things kept getting lost

[tworedplants]

It's been a few months since I've drawn anything for this, and maybe I've been avoiding it a little bit. I'm just embarrassed that I don't know anything about my own au lmao (half joking)

[captain-mj]

First of all, I love your writing and your fics. I love your IWTV au so much. And I'm a fan of your other stuff.

Sooo I have some ideas I'd like to share with you , dear MJ. I was thinking of an isolated Ghost. He almost hides himself from people, some place like Alaska or in the wild. Somewhere cold and out of humans, so he can be all by himself. He doesn't want to be around people because of his past, and he hides himself from people. He lives in a cold forest or somewhere unreachable in winter because of the snow. He lives in a cabin.

And there is Soap, who goes on a camping trip with himself after breaking up with his boyfriend. Thinking that camping would help him get better emotionally. But it starts snowing, and he is not prepared, and he gets lost in the wild. He is desperate and cold. While searching for help and walking for hours. He comes across the cabin where Ghost is staying. Ghost doesn't welcome Soap at first, but because of the heavy snow, they are stuck for about a week or a month. So Ghost helps Soap get better, and they start to get close and hot...

I think I explained it in so much detail, but you can change it however you want. I'm always hungry for your stuff, in any form. And feel free to ignore this if you don't want to write about it. And of course, please don't mind my English; it's not my first language.

Ily,take care.

Very much can do that!! Yes!

Ghost sat in his cabin up the mountains, using his sniper to look down at everyone. He knew that right now there were two different groups of people camping. One further down that seemed to be full of experienced campers and one a bit higher up that set up their spot for their view. They were way too close for comfort.

Neither were particularly good company. No one was.

Ghost hated people. Especially fuckers who came on to the mountain for camping.

He had hoped this secluded place in the middle of nowhere would provide peace. Instead he just dealt with this.

Ghost put his gun away. It was for hunting and he was worried any gunshots would send the campers into a frenzy. He had plenty of food for the winter thanks to Price sending him stuff. Price insisted he just used Ghost's pension for it but he didn't believe him. Old sap probably used his own money.

Ghost went to his cabin and cleaned instead. Not that it really needed it. Besides the fact that he meticulously cleaned most of the time, nothing he did made much of a mess. It was mostly just dusting the books off to make sure they didn't get dry rot.

The snow started. A lot harsher than he had been expecting. It started to pile up on his porch and it made the roof creak a little.

Ghost imagined it caving in and crushing him. Suffocating under the weight of wood and snow.

There were worse deaths.

Further down the mountain, Soap went a little away from the group he came up with. He set up his tent and planned to relax for the next two days.

No cell service which was exactly what he needed. No worrying Mam, no angry ex trying to get him back. Just silence.

Soap was so bored. He supposed it was his fault for expecting anything less. He was not a person that sat still often. Always searching for the next thing. The next adventure.

This did not feel like an adventure. It felt stale.

Soap noticed the snow so he only walked within the vicinity of his tent. He followed the protocol, but it took one stumble for him to fall out of bounds. Quickly, Soap scrambled back up and glanced at his tent. Still right there, just slightly farther than before.

Maybe some sleep would do him some good.

Soap settled into his tent, ignoring the snow piling on top of it. It just kept coming. Covering him in a freezing cold blanket of water.

The tent had a hole in it. He had just bought it, he had no idea what he did to cause it. Although small, it was definitely messing up the whole insulation part of this. It also let snow in which started to melt, getting him and his clothes wet.

Frustration started to bubble over. He wasn't experienced at camping but he wasn't an idiot. This wouldn't work. He'd have to either fix it or leave and he wasn't sure how he could even leave.

Thanks to the water, his arm was soaked, cold digging in so hard it felt like actual needles. He tried to dry himself off but the whole situation wasn't working.

Reluctantly, he ignored that he was still slightly wet and got dressed. He'd just go out for help.

The people he came with weren't there. Or at least, they weren't where he thought they were. He didn't want to believe the guide they came would be so stupid as to not count the people before evacuating if they did, but he also said he wanted seclusion and lied about being experienced.

Maybe they assumed he already left?

Soap panicked for a moment. He allowed himself that. Before he straightened up and started thinking. There was no way he was the only person on the mountain. While he couldn't make it all the way down on his own, he was sure someone had to be there. It was mid morning, he had time before it got dark and cold.

Ghost sat on his porch close to twilight. He smoked silently, watching the trees.

The man had been walking around his property for a few minutes and Ghost was trying to figure out if he was a real person or not.

He sighed and whistled, watching him yank his head around painfully to stare at him.

"You okay?" Ghost called out.

Soap stepped a bit closer, no longer shivering. He was also holding his shoulder. "Are you God?"

"Oh for fuck's sake. Sure. I'm God. Where are your things?"

"I took them."

"Why are you jacketless in the middle of the snow?"

"It had gotten wet. Was trying to dry it out but it didn't really work..."

Ghost sighed. "Come closer."

Soap stumbled to the steps. His pants up to his knees were soaked and his face had pale skin with rosy patches.

Ghost sighed in frustration and opened the door. "Come on." He'd get the guy warm and then send him on his way. The snow wasn't too bad yet. Neither of them had a radio to know that it was predicted to get much worse.

So Ghost accepted him in and had him sit in front of the fire. He found a dry blanket and wrapped it around his shoulders. "You okay?"

Soap started to shiver.

"Guess not."

"Got a drink?" Soap rasped out.

Ghost poured him a nip of bourbon and handed him.

"Don't suppose you got Scotch?" Soap said softly before knocking back the drink. He grimaced and Ghost was sure he heard a mutter under his breath about British people having shit taste.

Ghost watched the way the alcohol raced through him. Color almost immediately back in his face. "Thanks. Name's Soap by the way."

"...Ghost. The fuck you doing up there?" Ghost went by his callsign since there was no way someone would name their kid Soap. He thought of asking him about his shoulder but decided against it.

Soap sighed. "Trying to clear my head." He flinched when Ghost laughed at him.

"Piss poor job of preparing."

"Aye. Suppose I thought myself a survivalist." Soap laughed softly before averting his eyes. He looked embarrassed.

Good.

Ghost put the bottle of bourbon next to him. "Drink as much as you want." He knew he'd barely make a dent on the bottle.

Soap only took what he had to. He managed to get himself warm.

Ghost looked out at the sky. Too dark to send him anywhere.

"In the morning, I'll show you the way down the mountain."

"Yes, sir." Soap looked at him. He seemed almost indignant. Like Ghost was being bossy.

Ghost bit his tongue. "fuck off. Go to bed near the fire. You'll need to stay warm all night."

Soap nodded and laid down. "Don't have to tell me twice."

Ghost went to his bedroom, brandishing a knife. He stayed there and watched the door all night. Just in case. Just in case.

Soap stayed in the living room and he tried to Keep warm. Ghost would come in like clockwork to put more wood on the fire.

During the night, the snow came down harder. Before long, it was at the door, covering the entire porch.

Ghost groaned as he watched it. While yes, he may be able to go down by himself, he'd never be able to get Soap down the mountain as well. As much as he hated it, he also likely wouldn't be able to make it back.

Soap stirred and groaned, holding his shoulder. He saw the outside and before long came to the same realization that Ghost did. "So we bunking together?" It sounded sheepish, like there was a risk that Ghost would throw him out into the cold.

Ghost sighed. "Yeah we are. I have a guest room that i haven't used in ages. I'll get it set up."

"And I had to sleep on the floor... why?"

"Be closer to the fire." Ghost left him alone to brush the dust off of everything. He had planned to turn it into a gym or something equally useful, but never did. The stupid room came with the house.

Once it was livable, Ghost came back out. "You can go in. I'll make breakfast. We'll be up here a while. It's still snowing so it's hard to tell."

"You have a vehicle or anything?"

"Nope. We'll be walking."

Soap cursed in a funny language and stretched, back popping. "How long you guessing?"

"A week. Minimum."

Soap winced. "Sorry for the... everything."

Ghost stared at him for a moment before just going in. He cooked breakfast silently and Soap sat nearby. Occasionally, he'd start talking, but Ghost didn't respond to any of it.

"Oh come on. You're going to be stuck with me for a week. Might as talk to me. What are you doing up here so isolated?"

Ghost put a plate of eggs, bacon and hashbrowns in front of him. He sat across from him and yanked his mask up just enough to start eating.

His scars had the effect he hoped. Soap winced at the harsh smile cut into Ghost's face. "Aye. I see."

"Good." Ghost answered, shoveling food down. He mentally counted through his supplies. He had enough for a few months, so with two people, it should be fine. This bastard was getting none of his ice cream though.

Soap ate quietly before swallowing. "Gang?"

"Military." Ghost admitted begrudgingly.

"Aye. I see. I'm a sergeant right now."

"Retired." Ghost drank some of his tea.

Soap nodded. "Look, I'm not trying to be an ass here. Really. You don't have to talk to me. But. Do you have any coffee?"

Ghost stared at him for a minute before getting up and checking. "I got instant and regular."

"Got a coffee pot?"

"French press. It was a gift."

Soap's eyebrows scrunched together. "You know how to use it?"

"...No."

"Fuck."

They put their heads together and worked with the French Press until they managed to get a cup of coffee brewing. Ghost watched the stuff bubble and huffed. "Tea is easier to make."

"Coffee tastes better."

"Yeah, right." Ghost continued drinking his tea.

"Since we got it figured out, do you at least wanna cup to try your gift?"

Ghost sighed. "Yeah, why not."

Black coffee was just as dreadful as he remembered. He added some sugar, ignoring Soap's mildly judgmental gaze.

The first day was spent with Ghost trying to do his normal routine of reading or working out and Soap being incredibly bored. Ghost felt too uncomfortable to do most of his workout routine with him around and decided to give up.

"Do you have internet? Or anything? Most of my stuff was left in my tent."

Ghost sighed. "No. How far away was your tent?"

Soap hummed. "No clue honestly. I don't think it was that far, but there should be a trail of my clothing. I have no idea why I started taking it off."

"Hypothermia makes you feel warm after a while. It's some psychological thing. It's why some people who are frozen to death are found naked."

Soap grimaced at him. "That's horrifying."

Ghost shrugged and showed him the guest room. It was pretty nice, if a bit plain. Soap fell on the bed and groaned. "Firm. I like that."

Ghost hit his boots. "I'll try to find your tent tomorrow. Get some sleep."

The second day he found himself being trailed by Soap despite the asshole clearly should be staying at home. He kept touching and rubbing at his shoulder. Ghost was trying not to ask, but he'd need to eventually. If he got infected, that would make everything a lot harder.

They found his tent and Soap went searching for his phone. Unfortunately it was dead and when they got home, they found that his charger had too much water damage to help. Soap sighed and rubbed his face. "I knew I shouldn't have come out here."

"Why did you?"

Soap thought about it for a second before turning towards him. "My ex." He was careful not to include man or woman. This guy could be homophobic for all he knew.

Ghost nodded. "Got it. Their fault or yours?"

Soap blinked. "What?"

"You cheat on them and up here hiding from it? Lot of guys do. Or did you come up here because they're a right prick?"

They. Not she. They. Soap picked up on the pronouns and took a deep breath. "They asked me to leave the military. I said no. They said stuff."

Ghost tilted his head. "I see. Well. They can't exactly find you up here."

"Aye. Guess they can't." Soap smiled.

On the third day. Ghost went searching and found his dvd player and old tv. He showed Soap his dvd collection.

Soap hummed. "More romance movies than I'd expect."

"I inherited my mum's collection." Ghost lied.

"Uh huh." Soap picked a movie and put it on, happy to have something else to do besides sit there. How Ghost did it was beyond him.

On the fourth day, Soap even managed to convince Ghost to sit with him through one of the movies. It was a romance movie that Ghost had memorized. It was a film where she had to travel across Ireland and stayed with a nice Irish man throughout the journey.

Soap drank some more of the coffee and it seemed to calm him down a little.

After a bit of hesitation, Ghost looked at him. "You smoke weed?"

"No." Soap glanced at him.

"You wanna start?"

Soap took a deep breath. "Fuck it. Sure."

Ghost pulled out a joint and lit it. He took the first hit and then gave it to Soap.

Soap coughed and Ghost laughed at him. "It's a little different than a cigarette."

"Yeah, a little bit, sir." Soap smiled at him and they passed it back and forth for a bit.

Ghost felt the pretty much permanent ache throughout his body disappear. It seemed to do the same for Soap's shoulder.

They both relaxed for a bit and Soap looked over at him. "You're a cool guy, Ghost."

"Thank you." Ghost smiled at him and kept smoking. They put on another movie and relaxed for a while. It took the edge off.

Soap swallowed. "Why are you up here?"

"It sucks down there."

"Does it get lonely?"

"Sometimes." Ghost mumbled, his head falling against the couch. Around people he was usually always wide awake. Too scared. But Soap made him feel weirdly safe.

Soap fell asleep against his shoulder and Ghost followed soon after.

When they wake up, the fire had been out for hours and the house was freezing.

"Fucking hell." Ghost got up and tried to start a new fire but it wasn't sparking.

Soap shivered. "Well, that's not great. Anything i can do to help?"

Ghost checked the wood. It was fucking damp for some reason. He couldn't figure out why but that would be better for morning when he had more light. "My bedroom has the least amount of windows."

Soap's eyes gleamed as they shacked up in there. Ghost covered his windows with curtains and grabbed some more blankets as he turned on the lights.

His room was far better decorated than any other part of the house. His bed was covered in quilts and high quality soft pillows. A cabinet in the corner had tons of photos from Ghost in his time in the military. Most of them had Ghost's own face covered with marker.

"You know Captain Price?"

"Yeah, I know John." Ghost rearranged a few things and started to strip off his jacket.

Soap paused to stare, admiring the muscles that were revealed when the shirt followed right after. His pants unfortunately did not come off too. "Take off your shirt."

Soap nodded and followed the order. Was this happening? Were they about to fuck right here and right now? The worst part was he was going to let it happen.

Ghost pulled him into bed and shifted so he was fucking spooning him. "Fucking hell I was cold." He settled into the warmth and promptly closed his eyes, pretending nothing was happening.

Soap was in heaven. Or maybe hell. Either way he was getting hard and that was not great.

Ghost fell back to sleep. Soap was ridiculously hard, pressed against a beautifully muscled chest. He could feel each of Ghost's breaths with the rise and fall of it. In a desperate attempt to calm down, he thought of war. His ex. The fact that his ex was probably trying to blow up his very dead phone.

Soap thought of his ex and felt a strange lump in his throat. God he didn't want to go home. He really didn't want to. His ex would be at his heels like a baying fucking dog to nip at his fucking heels.

Soap let out a sharp noise, a bit like a sob, and quickly bit his lip to shut up.

Ghost pulled him closer. "Soap?"

"My name is Johnny."

Ghost's thumb rubbed circles in his chest. "Johnny." Oh that beautiful voice. "It's nice to meet you. I'm Simon. You okay?"

"My ex tried to hurt me. I'm military, don't know why he thought it was a smart idea. But when I defended myself, he was just... so cruel. Called me shit I never wanted to hear again. Accidentally made myself upset over it."

"I'm sorry, Johnny."

"S'okay. Nothing to do with you. You're the first person that hasn't made me feel worse honestly."

"Not worse. I'll take it." Ghost sounded a tiny bit amused. He squeezed him. "Do you feel warmer?"

"Yes. Feels nice in this bed with you." Soap didn't mean to sound quite as suggestive as he did, but Ghost noticed. His grip loosened briefly before tightening again, tangling their legs together. "Simon."

Ghost turned him onto his back and kissed him, having pulled up his mask at some point. His scars tickled a little. It was pretty nice honestly.

Soap's fingers ran down his chest to his pant's button and undid it for him. "Is this okay?"

"Should be asking you that." Ghost gruffed. "Don't have to do too much tonight, but you're hard."

"So are you. Can feel you through your jeans." Soap smiled at him. He slowly unzipped his pants and touched over Ghost's cock.

Ghost let out a small whine. "Fuck, it's been so long." He quickly unzipped Soap's pants and pulled him out, having no shame about it. His hand fit around both of them and his thumb easily ran over Soap's head.

"Me too. Won't judge you if you don't last long." Soap teased, pulling him back to kiss him again. He groaned as he thrust up. "Nice and easy, yeah?"

Ghost rutted into him and moved his hand in time. They kept kissing as his hand found a decadent rhythm, truly stretching the pleasure out for both of them.

Soap moaned and his back arched trying to press himself even closer. "Simon."

Ghost bit his lip hard and paid more attention to Soap's cock, trying to get him closer and closer. He felt him start to pant into his mouth and licked into his mouth happily.

Simon buried his face into his throat and came over his chest. Despite this, he managed to keep his hand moving so Soap followed after a moment later.

Johnny kissed him softly. "Later, if you have lube, I'll let you fuck me."

Simon wondered briefly if he was a rebound and then decided he didn't particularly care. "Okay."

[seungkwanslowqualityenglish]

Fox's Fate

✿ Synopsis: Befriending a small fox leads to a life changing turn of events, not only for you, but also for him. The fox being a kitsune, and he becomes just as attached to you, as you are to him. Not everything is what it seems, but does it really matter, after all you are happier now than you were before.

✿ Who: Takayama Riki / Taki (&Team) & Gender Neutral Reader ✿ Word Count: 8408 Words ✿ Genre: Angst/Fluff ✿ Warnings: Explicit language, arson, amnesia, murder, car accident, and identity theft. ✿ Request: No ✿ Enjoy.

Feet hit the harsh rocks, he ran through the darkened alleyway, the yelling fading behind him, the footsteps that followed him eventually stopping. The shop owner had not taken well to the orange and white creature rifling through his trash cans, he was only on the search for food. Usually the large fluffy tail of his was enough to distract people, they would become enamored by the fluffy thing, letting the fox get away with whatever it was he wanted to do. This person however was not having that, yelling and screaming at the small fox, running him off with anger, repeatedly crying out that he will not have vermin in his dumpster. Deciding it was enough of the city for today, he found himself nearing the outskirts of town. No longer were there businesses lining the streets, instead it was houses, family houses at that. Finding himself in the garden of a house, he had no idea eyes were on him, they were observing the small hungry fox. Within the house was a person quickly searching what do foxes eat on their phone, before starting to pile up some food on the plate, for the poor animal. Moments later the person comes out of their house, offering a small white porcelain plate abound with leftover freshly cooked meats and a variety of fresh sweet berries. Unaccustomed to the kindness of others, the fox kept his distance, only going over to the plate once the human was back within their house. The person watching through the window as the small orange and white creature devoured the food, it was much hungrier than one would have thought. The food was gone in a matter of minutes, the fox finding its way back into the garden, falling asleep amongst the flowers.

As the morning came, the fox was surprised to see another plate sat out, more meat and berries. This became a common routine for the homeowner and the fox. It took a month before he felt comfortable entering the person’s home. They had shown him nothing but kindness, and he felt grateful for that. Eating freshly cooked meats they gave him, while they were eating their own dinner, and feasting upon bowls of freshly picked berries, became a daily routine. It was odd to the homeowner, the fox was basically like a pet to them at this point. It would join them for breakfast and dinner, curling up in their lap as they watched the television after dinner, and would allow them to pet it like a dog or cat would. The fox had grown close to the homeowner, enjoying his position as a pet for them, since it kept him warm, full, and loved. No longer was he roughing it on the streets begging for a meal, he had someone that was keeping him fed and clean.

Riki had gotten accustomed to this, he had been a fox for so many years he had lost count. He once was counting down the days until he would reach 100, being able to shift into a human form, being able to fully enjoy the human parts of life. But, years ago that countdown stopped, he shifted from loving life and wanting to be a human, to just struggling to get by. At one point he was no longer seen as a joy and blessing in his community, instead being seen as a problem, a vermin, something to get rid of. That was until he found them, they cared for him in a way he had missed for years. Seeing him as another being, not just a problem rifling through their trash cans. He enjoyed laying in their arms, the food they would give him, and despite how embarrassing it was, he did not mind them when they would groom him, commenting how much better he smelled after using the various products on him. He had not only grown to like this treatment, but found himself liking them as well.

Despite how hard he tried to behave, he had a habit of stealing little things from the neighbors and bringing them to your house, like a thank you. He knew enough about humans to know you would not like for him to bring you a dead bird or rat, like a cat would; but he saw no problem in stealing flowers from the neighbors garden, or maybe a discarded necklace he found in the park. These little things became a normal thing, the small gifts from the little fox were the highlights of your day most of the time. Little things like shiny rocks and flowers became normal things for you to see in the small fox’s mouth. You were thankful that he felt thankful for how you treated him, but even without these small gifts, you would have still fed and cared for the sweet little fox. He was so domesticated, you felt that he was a pet someone had abandoned.

This continued for some time, until one day Riki felt some odd feeling, while on his usual walk through the forest to your home, he felt this unimaginable pain. Only then did it hit him what it was, he had aged for a hundred years, he was able to shift into a human form finally, something he once counted down the days for felt like an inconvenience how, since how were you to love him outside of his fox form. Many kitsune would love to have this chance, however, Riki just ignored it, instead deciding to stay in his fox form for now, since the only person he knew enough about to shift into would be you. Continuing his regular routine, being nothing more than a little pet to you.

This was until one day when he came back home from a walk, seeing an unfamiliar car parked in the driveway, an unfamiliar scent was picked up easily. That was the first day in months that you did not come when he scratched at the door, there was no food outside for him, nor had you left the window open for him. Jumping up onto the windowsill, he gazed into the living room, seeing another figure other than just yourself. He growled slightly as he realized the other scent was another man, he could not hear what was being said, but he hated the look of joy upon your face as the other man held you in his arms. The anger was interrupted as the window caught the man’s attention, unable to hear what was being said, he knew it was not good, especially as he watched you grasp the man’s arm, simply making him sit back down. The door opened quickly after that, a bowl of berries was in your hand, and he heard you start to comment to the other man.

“Calm the fuck down Taki, it’s just a little fox, I feed it every night, it was just staring in wondering where it’s dinner was,” you yelled out to your boyfriend who was sitting on your sofa. Taki had been gone for almost five months at that point, his job sending him out of the country for a multiple month contract, luckily however he was back. He did not seem to like your little fox visitor, and you just hoped he would not do anything to the sweet little fox that you loved so dearly. “I’m sorry sweetie, you’ll have to sleep outside tonight, he doesn’t really like the idea of a wild animal in the house,” you told the gentle fox, petting it as it bumped your hand with its head.

It took not even a minute of you being away for Taki to reach his limit, getting up and coming to the door to force you back inside the house. “Let the damn animal starve, if it can’t find food out in nature, just let it go hungry, it’s not your fault it can’t hunt like a normal animal can.” Taki yelled out, glaring at the small fox in distaste. “It’s going to bring fleas and ticks around, probably has disease too, we should scare it off, that would be best.” He said, wanting the dumb animal to be away from him.

With a gasp, you turned to look at your boyfriend, shocked at the words from his mouth. “It’s just a sweet little fox, I think it used to be someone’s pet. There is no need to talk about it so rudely and harshly, it’s just a sweet little fox.” You attempted to defend the little animal, as you remained petting its soft fur. Taki was always a bit abrasive, it always had to be his way or no way, things were how he wanted them to be or things just did not get done, you had shocked yourself by standing up for the small fox, but it was just an innocent animal, and Taki’s anger was unfounded.

“Whatever, quit petting it, go wash your hands, and join me on the sofa again. The movie is playing, and I don’t like missing too much of it since you had to come out here to deal with that stupid little animal.” Taki said, before returning back into the house, closing the front door with a slam, scaring both yourself and the small little fox with his anger. Taki had decided that if the fox was there in the morning, he would scare it off, the last thing you needed was to get some disease from a wild fox. Laying back on the sofa, he started to complain again, this time at how long it was taking you to rejoin him on the sofa.

Petting the little fox one last time, you softly sighed at Taki’s anger. You were accustomed to this, he always had to have everything his way, and you knew he would not be happy until the fox was no longer a problem. “I’m sorry little one, enjoy your berries,” you told the small animal, before starting your way back in, “You may want to make sure you aren’t here in the morning, I don’t think Taki will like it if he sees you again.” Slipped past your lips, wishing the small fox would understand you, since the last thing you wanted is for Taki to scare off your little friend. He had scared off most of your real friends, and now was trying to scare off your animal friend. Rejoining him on the sofa, you ignored all the complaints and grumbles coming from him, just hoping his anger would subside for the rest of the night.

The little fox, Riki, hated the way the man, Taki he believes you said, spoke to you. Someone as wonderful as you deserved someone just as wonderful, not an asshole like him. It was not his fault the insecure man felt threatened by an animal, and it angered him how he so easily yelled at you. Complaining about how long it took to resume the movie, and about how the fox should just be left to die. As he enjoyed the berries, he just wished he could do something to help you, to get you away from this man. Hearing your warning, he made sure he was gone from your property after eating the berries, knowing that you would not have said it unless it was a serious thing. Which, seeing how Taki reacted upon seeing him at the window, you knew it was absolutely a serious thing.

The routine changed after that day. No longer were days spent in their house, enjoying breakfast and dinner with them. Instead, Riki would get a handful of berries, and luckily the occasional piece of meat, hidden within the trees just behind the backdoor of the house. Despite Taki’s hatred of the small animal, you continued to feed the poor fox, but tried your best to make sure Taki never saw it. Riki however would often hear Taki’s complaining, the man looking around for the fox, wanting to fully scare it off, knowing you still fed it regularly, and he did not like that.

Riki grew to hate Taki, how he treated you, how he treated him, and just everything. Yelling became a regular occurance from your house at night, usually Taki yelling at you for little things. It started with him yelling at you since he claimed you did not cook enough food for dinner, blaming it on your daily time spent feeding that fox. Then it escalated, him yelling at you for not doing all of his laundry by the time he returned home, despite the fact you worked as well, he expected you to do everything at home as well. It was then over you not cleaning the whole house, Riki could hear his yelling, screaming about the filth in the house, and how he could not be with someone who does not know how to keep things clean. Despite his desire to protect you, Riki stayed back, not wanting to make anything worse.

The day that made him decide to do something was when he saw Taki raise a hand to you, he had been yelling at you, reminding you how he could easily replace you, how he many others on his roster, that he could have another by the time he gets home, while you were just sitting here crying. Taki had anger issues, he would scream and he would yell, but he never once hit you until that day. Easily backhanding you with such force, you landed on the floor, hand holding your face in shock, unable to even scream or cry in this situation. Taki ended up storming out the house, yelling that it was over, but not before he openly disclosed that he had no qualms about hooking up with others while he was on the work trip abroad, reminding you that he never felt you were exclusive, you were nothing but a toy for him.

Riki wanted to rush into your house as Taki opened the door, but instead the imposing male stood in front of the closed door, a short laugh being heard, as he stared at the fox. A foot met the side of Riki’s fox figure, Taki muttering about the stupid animal before he started to leave. Taki however did not get far, seeing the little pet house that you had bought for the fox, he quickly grabbed the fox. Riki was too weak from the kick to fight back as Taki picked him up, but he tried his hardest, wiggling in his grasp, wanting to escape and run into the house to where you were. However, he was unable to, his small body being forced into a small box that had been bed for many nights while sleeping outside. As Taki went to lock the door, to completely trap the small fox inside the pet carrier, something stopped him. It was a shiny object, Riki felt his heart drop as Taki’s hand clutched the item, shoving it into his pocket, before proceeding to lock the carrier. Taki then left, taking the kitsune ball with him.

A seething hatred filled his body, watching Taki walking off to his vehicle with his kitsune ball, the idiot having no idea of what he just did, what he just took, what he just caused. Immediately Riki cried out, the pain from the kick finally fully hitting him, as he cried out in pain. By then you were already outside, about to start chasing after Taki, he was all you knew, having been with him for so long, you did not know what else to do. But, hearing the cries of an animal, you found yourself looking around, terrified that Taki had finally made true on his promise and threats, all the times he said he would kill that stupid fox. Luckily you found him, locked in the pet carrier, quickly opening it, you had no time to look at the fox, as he took off running. As the only other thing in your life ran away from you, you felt your heart start to crumble, Taki had scared off all your friends, all your family, and now your little animal friend as well.

As badly as Riki wanted to stay and be with you, he had to get his kitsune ball back one way or another. Hatred and the desire for revenge filled his being, wanting nothing more than to get his kitsune ball back whether it left Taki dead or alive. He was quick to trace the scent of the cheating abusive bastard you once called your boyfriend, Riki wanted nothing more than to kill the man, but he could tell you genuinely loved him. His anger drove him all the way to outside Taki’s house, it was the middle of the night, and he was unsure of what to do as he found himself on the doorstep of the man’s house.

Taki was quick to get to the door, thinking it was the girl he had texted on his drive over, but instead his video alert was alarming him of the stupid little fox on his doorstep. Opening the door, a laugh left his lips, seeing the fox he had once locked up in the pet carrier now on his doorstep. Taki had forgotten all about what he had stolen, until he reached to put his hands in his pockets, planning to kick the door closed on the small little fox’s head. A laugh slipped past his lips, removing the ball from his pocket with a smirk, “Oh, is this what you came for,” he sneered, starting to squeeze the small glowing golden white ball in his hand, attempting to break it.

Riki felt this rush through his body, a feeling he had never felt before, he found himself gaining height. Going from being eye level with Taki’s calves, to staring the man in the eye. Riki had shifted himself into Taki without meaning to, but it seemed to have taken Taki back enough that he dropped the kitsune ball, as he stepped back with haste. Taki’s back hit the floor as he started trying to get away, screams attempting to slip out of his mouth, but nothing came. This time it was laughing leaving Riki’s mouth, quickly picking up the glowing ball, before he started to walk closer to the man on the floor. “Oh, this is, but I also came for this,” he said, reaching down, watching as felt the power coursing through his body, he grabbed Taki’s leg, watching as it spontaneously erupted into flames. Riki had never used his magic, never seeing a reason in it, but for you, he would use it however often as he needed to.

Taki froze, falling to the ground as he watched the fox turning into a man, not just any man, but himself. Screams begged to escape his body, but no noise came out of his mouth, instead he hit the ground, trying to crawl away. Unable to get away, he stared in terror as he set himself on fire. This had to be some sort of fever dream, there were not two of him in the world, and the fire came out of nowhere. It was like all the air had been sucked out of his lungs, his whole body erupting in burning violent flames, but his screams met deaf ears, no noise coming from his vocal cords, despite how loudly he screamed and cried.

Riki felt such joy watching as the flames easily took over Taki’s frame. He would not bother you again, no longer would Taki get to enjoy inflicting such pain on you, if it does not bring joy let it go, and here Riki was letting Taki go. A laugh fell from his lips, watching as Taki tried to roll around, trying to get the flames to stop, the shock on his face was evident, as Riki had stolen his voice along with his looks. His joy overwhelmed him as he watched the last of the flames finally die down, leaving nothing remaining of Taki other than some charred clothing remains. His joy however did not last, as a random dinging caught his attention, a phone you had called many times, he read the screen quickly, seeing a message saying ‘on my way’ from someone Taki had named side chick number six, whatever a side chick was. But, as he stood there, something hit him, someone was on their way to see Taki, real Taki, not Riki Taki, maybe it was because he was new to using his magic and all, but he was unable to stop it when everything around him just erupted into flames. He found himself shifting back into fox form, quickly running from the house. Riki did not make it far however, he was hit by a car just outside the house, immediately shifting back into his Taki form from the impact. He watched as the entire house caught on fire, it was up in flames, he only got to enjoy the sight of the second story of the house collapsing into the flames, before all he saw was black.

You were sitting in your room when you got the call, it had been almost an hour since Taki had left and your little fox friend had run away from you. The call was from an unknown number, but answered it regardless, quickly being greeted with an unknown male voice, asking if they were calling the right number, before revealing it was the hospital. “What do you mean he was hit by a car?” You all but screamed into the phone, Taki and you might have been arguing that night, but you did not want him to get hit by a car. “I’ll be there as soon as I can.” You told the receptionist, quickly throwing on your shoes and a jacket, before finding your way to the hospital.

He may have been a horrible boyfriend, but you loved him despite everything he did, and you were distraught when you heard the news. You wanted to get back at him, but him being hit by a car was never what you wanted. You wanted him to maybe feel bad about cheating on you, not to be almost killed by a car. Arriving at the hospital, you were quickly ushered into his room, seeing not only a police officer but a fire inspector in the room as well. They were quick to catch you up on what happened, his house caught on fire, he ran from the fire, he got hit by a car, he passed out, and the driver of the car was apparently someone he had invited over to his house that night.

Despite the anger that came from knowing he was actively trying to hookup with someone that was not you, you could not stop feeling the pain and sorrow you felt for the man laying out on the bed. You loved him, you would never not love him, even if he did not always love you. Quickly you found yourself taking his hand, clutching it as tightly as you could, tears falling from your eyes as you wanted nothing more than for him to awake. You would apologize for being a bad significant other, you would apologize for making him mad, you would do anything to make him happy, you would do anything he asked you to as you had so many times before. Taki relied on that, leaving you and then waiting until you came crawling back begging for him.

Riki had no idea what happened, but he felt a sharp feeling in his arms, something holding down his wrist as well. Immediately, he recognized he was not in his fox form, instead in human form, Taki’s form. A small soft hand held his hand in theirs, teardrops making his arm wet, he knew the hands were yours based on your scent. He fought the mind fog for almost an hour, just hearing your sobs, your pleas for him to be okay, to wake up, to forgive you. Riki knew these cries were for Taki, not him, but he wished it was for him. Riki knew nothing of being human, Riki knew nothing of being in love, Riki knew nothing of being loved, Riki knew nothing of any of it, but he knew he would never had treated you how Taki did, he knew that the way he felt for you was as close to love as he would ever feel, until he truly learned what love was.

As Taki opened his eyes, you found yourself gasping, clinging yourself onto his body, lips immediately making contact with his lips. It was odd as Taki did not kiss you back, instead just sitting there frozen, unsure of what to do. Moving back, you looked in his eyes, seeing nothing but confusion on his face. Quickly the doctor was called, not even an hour later, the doctor told you the diagnosis. “You believe he has amnesia?” The diagnosis was like a slap to the face, it explained why he was so frozen earlier, probably not remembering you at all. “So he remembers how to talk and read, but nothing else. Retrograde amnesia?” You easily repeated the doctor, listening to everything he tells you, how to care for him, how to attempt to get his memory to return and everything.

Riki felt odd, everyone referring to him as Taki felt out of place, but for all intents and purposes, he was now Taki, god knows what would happen to him if he revealed what had really happened to Taki. Despite how much he loved the feeling of your hands holding his, it hurt him that you were only doing so thinking he was Taki, but at this point, he had no choice but to be Taki. After everyone left, he felt lost, he did not know what to do, it was hard being in a new body, let alone also having a whole new identity. He could only guess the doctor was telling you everything as some random girl entered the room, quick to rush over and hug him, not even noticing as he froze.

As she started to cry, Riki realized this must have been the person the message earlier was from, what was it, side chick number six. He moved away from her grasp as she cried out, “Oh Taki, I’m so glad you’re alive. I was so afraid I had killed you, I was coming over like you asked me to, I didn’t think I’d hit you.” She cried out, trying to come to terms with what happened. She tried to hug him again, but Riki raised his hands, pushing her away, not wanting whoever this was to be on him, let alone touch him.

“I don’t know who you are, but please leave me alone,” He said, watching as the girl’s face immediately dropped. She was devastated by his words, but he felt no pain for her. She was only number six of who knows how many people Taki had been cheating on his amazing girlfriend with. He had such an amazing person who loved him with all their heart, but instead he was out there sleeping with anyone who would allow him to do so. Riki however, knew that Taki from now on would not be doing that, he would blame it on the traumatic head injury or something, but Taki would no longer be doing that, he would be honest and cherish what he had, like Riki knows he would.

The girl started to cry even harder, Riki did not even know her name, and he honestly did not care. “What do you mean? Taki it’s me? We’ve been dating for a while, you don’t remember me?” She cried out, becoming more and more outraged as she cried, becoming louder and louder. Riki luckily did not have to do anything as a nurse burst into the room, removing the girl from his room, before adding her to a list of people not allowed to visit, after Riki expressed how distressed her presence made him.

You had watched the whole scene, it was odd, Taki would oftentimes brag about how easily he could replace you, but here he was rejecting the girl he had invited over to do just that. It felt odd, but you reminded yourself that it was just the amnesia talking, he would probably go right back to it once he healed and had his memory back. Entering his room again, you found yourself sitting beside his bed, taking his hands in yours once more. “Do you remember who I am?” Being all you asked, watching as he shook his head, it hurt, but you knew you had bigger issues than him not remembering who you are. Telling him your name, you were quick to let him know, “I’m your partner, we’ve been together for years.”

Riki could do nothing but play stupid, knowing that while he might have Taki’s looks and voice, he did not have his memories, and would instead be unable to know anything you might ask him. “I’m sorry,” he muttered, watching how the hurt masked your eyes, knowing that the thought of your boyfriend not recognizing you must have hurt. “But I want to remember,” he added, hoping that it might make everything a bit better for you.

Despite the fact you would not admit it, hearing his words made your heart swell a bit. Taki was never one to really care about much, but you could only guess the brain injury had changed him, hopefully it made him a better man, but you knew that was a bad thing to think, especially given the situation. “I’ll try to help you remember,” you told him, yet, it hurt so badly when you thought about it. You would help him regain his memory, just for him to probably revert to how he was just before the accident. You would help him regain his memory, just for him to go back to reminding you how easily he could replace, bragging about his roster, and reminding you that he did not do exclusivity. He would more than likely go back to cheating on you when mad, claiming it was your fault for running him into the arms of another, and making you genuinely believe it was your fault, since he was being so generous with you, and you treated him like that.

Riki felt feelings he had never felt before as you clutched at his hands, his arms, holding them to your chest, gentle kisses on his hand, soothing him almost. The pain in your eyes told him how much you regret the words you just said, seeing how Taki treated you, he understood why. The relationship was so bad, but you were in love with Taki, and he knew that, which is why he would always get away with whatever it was he wanted to do, you would always forgive him and believe him when he twisted it to make it your fault. Riki knew that you deserve someone better, someone that would love you back with their whole heart, not just someone who only loves you when it is convenient for them. The pain in your eyes made him decide to be just that, you would never have to worry about him getting mad and storming out claiming he is going to go sleep with another, you would never have to worry about him hitting you in anger, and you would never have to worry about the pain Taki brought every time he came around.

Riki wanted nothing more than to let you know who he really was, but he knew you would not believe him. What was he to say, I am the fox you used to feed and cuddle with every night and I sorta killed your abusive asshole of a boyfriend, that would get him put in jail or worse. Despite how much he knew Taki had hurt you, he also had to admit to himself that pretending to be Taki was for the best at this moment in time, since that was who you thought he was. You thought he was Taki, just Taki with some minor brain damage, after all he had been hit by a car. Being Taki may not be what he wanted, but he was sure he would never treat you the way the real Taki would have, since you deserve better.

As the doctor’s cleared Taki to leave, you were quick to get him to your house, seeing how his own had burned down, an electrical fire is what the fire and police said. It was odd seeing him so demure, so confused, almost innocent, he was unsure of what he was doing, unsure of what to do, and unsure of everything, just waiting for you to tell him what he needed to do. Once he was seated on the sofa, you decided to do your best to help him start remembering little things, getting out a scrapbook full of photos from when you first started dating.

There was once a happy phase with Taki, romantic candlelit dinners, moonlight picnics, walks under the stars, and matching couple outfits. But, that phase faded into controlling behavior, if you made him mad he would start to yell, he would start to blame you for everything, which it was your fault, you were the one who made him mad. Those romantic dates started to end, instead he simply had home dates with you instead, claiming you did not deserve anything too extravagant or opulent, since you would just end up pissing him off anyways and would embarrass him if he did take you. The lack of romance then translated to him picking up others, claiming you were not making him fully happy, he deserved this, if you could not satisfy him fully, he deserved the ability to be with others who would, and that is exactly what he would do. Honestly, at some point Taki had fallen out of love with you, but he would not have admitted it, nor would he break up with you. Taki would never let you be the victim, he had to be the victim, if you were to break up, you had to end it with him, never the other way around. He needed to be able to turn it into a sad story for himself, claim the love of his life and significant other for the past five years broke his heart with such ease, he would have slandered your public image, making sure that you were never happy again. He deserved happiness, he would be damned if you kept him from that, but you only deserve happiness if it was with him.

Opening the book, you found yourself seated next to Taki, staring at the first page, you questioned how to go about this. Despite your brain telling you to tell him everything, you decided to only mention the happy moments, the good parts, thinking maybe he will not ever remember that he was once an abusive horrible asshole of a boyfriend. He would be mad at you once he did remember, but he would also be mad at you regardless of whether you told him about those moments or not, so instead you decided to focus on the lovely moments. “This was from our first date,” was how it started, “you took me out to a picnic, it was so sweet. You made all my favorite foods and snacks, and we ended up talking for hours upon hours. You were such a gentleman, listening to me go on and on about everything, even once the night came, we continued talking.”

Riki stared at the photos on the page, seeing sweet photos of yourself and Taki, you were enamored with Taki, and once Taki was in love with you as well. He felt his heart ache slightly, staring at the picture in which Taki’s lips were on your own. Staring at the photos, he felt a sense of pride, a sense of joy. He knew how Taki ended up, how he treated you all these years later, how horrible he was. He felt joy that you would never have to go through that treatment again, he would never treat you like Taki would, he would never lay a finger on you like Taki would, you were precious and he would treat you as such. He felt pride that he would make you feel this way again, he would never see the fear or pain in your eyes again, he would make you remember the days when you were lovesick and thought you had found your forever, he would be your forever.

Seeing his gaze catching a photo on the page, you ran your fingers along the photo, remembering that day. “That was the day we had our first kiss. You had bought me a bouquet of the most beautiful flowers, but told me I was the most beautiful flower of all. I remember you taking me out to a restaurant and us having a candlelit dinner, it was so romantic, we then took a midnight walk. By the end of the walk, neither of us wanted to go home, but you knew we needed to. You brought me to my door, we talked for almost twenty minutes just standing there, until you finally acted and kissed me. I’m lucky my doorbell camera caught it, otherwise I wouldn’t have this photo for that memory.”

Riki nodded, but he knew none of these moments, and he never would remember them. In that moment he cursed how shifting into a human did not give you their memories, but he also did not want those memories, he would never want first hand account memories of hitting you or anything. He gazed at the photos with confusion, not a singular memory coming up with any of the photos, obviously since he was not the real Taki. He was nothing more than an imposter, and he only hoped you would not catch onto that.

Gazing at his face, the look in his eyes told you everything you needed to know. “You don’t remember, do you?” You questioned him, your heart dropping as he shook his head. It was a long shot, but you had hope, hope he would remember, hope that things would go back to how they once were. But, instead fate had another plan in mind it seems. But, you would not give up on him, you would continue trying, you would make him remember it one way or another.

That is how days started, you showing him videos and photos, seeing if anything sparked a memory, but nothing ever did. He could not even remember how to do little things like using the toaster and making a sandwich, it was like his mind was just blank, an empty canvas ready to be used. The doctors offered nothing except comments about how the damage might be much worse than they thought, offering the advice that maybe making new memories would be better than reviving old ones, since it seems he has no problem remembering things that happen now.

This was how the two of you ended up where you are now, sitting together on a picnic blanket, surrounded by little snacks and drinks. If he could not remember your first date, you would recreate your first date for him. Words were not being passed between the two of you, Taki himself did not know what he liked, so there was nothing much for him to talk about, yet, it did not bother you. Oddly, it felt comfortable, he sat listening to you intently, as the two of you shared this space. Somehow the two of you ended up laying down, gazing up at the stars, your head on his chest, as you pointed out different constellations to him.

Riki was absolutely enamored with you, how gentle you were with him, how kind you were. He knew nothing much other than speech, and you were so calm explaining things to him, even things he felt you thought he should know. He just enjoyed being around you, he might never be able to do everything Taki could do, but he did not mind that when it was you teaching him how to do it. He felt joy when he overheard the doctor’s call, make new memories rather than focus on reviving old ones, just what he was hoping would happen, he wanted to make you feel joy and love you never felt with the real Taki, and this is how he would do so.

He knew nothing much to share with you, but he loved just listening to you talk, he would do that for hours, just hearing you ramble about things that interested you was his favorite thing. The date you planned for the two of you, he enjoyed, knowing it was a recreation of your first date, but he also knew it would have a drastically different ending. Somehow he ended up laying down on the thick blanket, staring up at the sky. He often observed the stars, but being with you made them all shine brighter, you made them even more stunning, but their beauty could not compete with your beauty. His arm found its way around your waist as you pointed out star formations to him, explaining them and telling him the names of them. He nodded, listening passionately to each word you said, his hand easily finding its way to your hair, simply petting it as you laid there.

Explaining the constellations to Taki, it was silent, except for the sounds of your voice, and his occasional voice of agreement and acknowledgement. It was odd feeling his arm around your waist, pulling you closer to him, Taki would have never done that, he was not one to be touchy with you, it was only ever on his terms. It was odd, you enjoyed it, the feeling of his arm holding you close to his chest, almost like he was afraid you would blow away with the gentle breeze that was blowing through. It was only when you felt the hand petting your hair gently, that you felt a feeling you had not felt in long, love. At that moment, all words fell silent, you started up at Taki, feeling the love that you thought had faded for him so long again. “Taki,” you softly muttered upon seeing him staring at you as well.

Riki had been observing your face the entire time you spoke, each word from your mouth captivated him, you could have been just saying random words, and he still would have been captivated. You were the moon and he was tide, you were pulling and pushing him with movement and words from your lips. He could not stop himself from staring at those lips, wondering what they would feel like against his own. You had mentioned before that the first kiss did not happen until almost a month into dating, but that was old Taki, this was new and improved Taki, and new and improved Taki honestly felt no need to wait. Leaning down, he quickly captured your lips. It was an odd feeling, but he liked it, and he wanted to do it more.

Kissing Taki was not on your list of things to happen today, but you welcomed it. His lips felt different than before, they were not rough or harsh, he was not dominating the kiss, nor was he trying to force his tongue into your mouth as he usually would. The kiss was gentle, it honestly made you fall in love with him all over again. A gentleness you had not felt in so long, it was welcoming to your heart, making you feel like you did once with him, filling your stomach with butterflies and your mind with thoughts of what might happen this time, how different it will be, how happy you may be.

Riki was unsure what he was doing, but it just felt right. His lips locked with yours, he mimicked your movement, giving you back what you gave him. His hand dropped from your head, going to your waist, pulling you on his chest completely. To any onlooker, it was a sweet couple sharing a soft moment, to him it was a sign of what he would be getting for the rest of his life, since after tasting how sweet your lips tasted, feeling how soft your lips are, and realizing how easily you fit in next to him, he never planned on letting you go. He would never let you go and he was sure you would never let him go. This time Taki would be a perfect gentleman, he would be just what you needed in your life, and Riki would make sure of it. Finally parting his lips from yours, he could do nothing more than just staring at you, “Beautiful, so beautiful,” he muttered, his lips pressing gentle kisses to your forehead, as the date came to an end.

Taki was different, so different, each date was so much better than the first ones. You were not sure what it was, but it had to be the car accident, changing him into a whole new person practically. Loyalty was the first word in this Taki’s vocabulary. Love was the second word. And perfection was the third, since that is what you were to him. No longer did fear stay in your eyes when you gazed at him. No longer did you fear he would storm out bragging he had a date with another girl. No longer did you fear he would hit you in anger. No longer did those feelings of inadequacy mar your mind. To this Taki you were perfect, you were amazing, and he would never find anyone that he would ever love more than you.

A part of your mind wanted you to admit that maybe Taki was not Taki after all, but it could not be that. It was just that the car accident brought something out in him that you never saw, something that made him a man you wanted to spend the rest of your life with. Creating new memories was the best decision, replacing all those cold and harsh memories you had with Taki previously, with sweet and warm ones with Taki now.

Taki was a fast learner, you quickly had him learn how to be self sufficient around the house, to the point that he refused to let you help around the house. He was unable to work or anything outside of the house, due to the memory loss, so he felt it was only right to help around the house. It was odd, seeing him so easily take the role of what one would call a house husband, but it was appreciated. Previously Taki would have expected you to do everything on your own, he would not lift a single finger to help you, but Taki now would not let you lift a single finger to do it.

For the first time in years, you felt loved, each day falling in love more and more with Taki. He was finally being the man of your dreams, the man you always fantasized about, the man that would love you for who you were for the rest of your life. No longer did his kisses feel forced, no longer did the love feel absent, no longer did you feel as though your life was on eggshells around him. He always made sure you felt loved, reminded you that you were loved, and loved you like he felt you deserved to be loved.

Riki had taken to everything you taught him quickly, doing all the little tasks around the house for you while you were at work. Nothing ever needed to be mentioned twice, since he felt it was the least he could do for you taking such good care of him. Need the lawn mowed, he did it immediately after figuring out how to work the lawn mower once you went to work. The laundry needs to be done, no need to ask, he has already started it, even going as far as to sort the darks and colors. Riki was unsure who he was at this point, but all he did know is that whoever he was, he was loved by you. He loved you, you returned his love, and that was all he cared about.

It was a day he had finished all the chores early, he even had dinner in the oven waiting for you to return from work, when you caught him by the mirror in the bedroom. He did not hear you enter, nor did he notice you come into the house. You watched as he just stared at himself in the mirror, confusion did not mar his face, nor did anger, or any other identifiable emotion.

Staring at his appearance in the mirror, Riki was unsure where he began and Taki ended, he was unsure if Riki even existed any longer except for in his mind. Yet, feeling your arms wrap around his waist, he finally noticed you were home, and your lips softly littering his neck with gentle kisses, muttering sweet words of praise and love. He honestly found himself not caring, as far as anyone knew now he was Taki. As long as you loved Taki, he would be Taki, he was Taki, he is Taki; Riki no longer exists, since as long as he has you within his arms, he has no desire to be back in his fox form again. Moving his arm, he quickly switched your positions, moving you from where you stood behind him. Rubbing his nose against yours, he gently kissed your lips, before he picked you up with ease, feeling your arms wrapping around his neck. “I love you Taki,” your voice attempted to say, before it was enveloped by his lips against yours. He found himself smiling into the kiss as your words were cut out by the moans coming from his actions.

[illfoandillfie]

Ornaments

Pairing: Pedro Pascal x Reader

Words: 1,161

Warnings: Christmasy stuff, sappy married dorks.

A/N: Do you have any idea how hard it was to avoid the word bauble since I know you yanks don’t use it? lmao. I did steal the entire premise of this from a reddit post which I saw second hand on instagram. Also the artificial tree is v much based on the one i own, down to the complaints about the coloured bits.

Decorating was one of your favourite parts of the festive season. All the lights and sparkly ornaments, there was just something magical about it. By the time Christmas Day rolled around your balcony railing would be festooned with lights or garlands of stars and snowflakes, your desk would be home to a gingerbread scented candle and some decorative reindeer, and there’d be a wreath adorning your front door. But the first thing to go up, and always on the first day of December, was the tree. Of course, you didn’t have to do it all on your own. It was tradition for you and Pedro to decorate together, a tradition that had been going longer than your marriage. It had started in your first year of dating. Very occasionally you’d had to do the bulk of the decorating by yourself, particularly if Pedro’s work kept him away from home. But in those instances, he’d always found the opportunity to Face Time so he could keep you company and offer complements. And you always saved the star for him, even if he couldn’t place it atop the tree for over a week. Thankfully, this year all his projects had wrapped, and Pedro was free to join in the fun.

The first had fallen on a weekday so by the time you got home from work you were eager to get started. Pedro, having had an earlier finish, and knowing you wouldn’t want to wait a second longer than necessary, had already ordered some takeout and pulled the boxes of decorations down from the attic. You gave him a quick kiss as thank you and then dove for the box of tree parts while he put on a spotify playlist of Christmas music. The artificial tree was a few years old but it always took longer to put together than you remembered it doing the year before. Pedro worked on getting the base and central poles clicked together while you organised the individual branches into piles based on their little coloured ends. That was a somewhat challenging task since a few of the colours were similar enough to be hard to tell apart at first look, especially when they’d faded a little with age. It was hard to understand why the manufacturers would have chosen brown, yellow, grey, green and a very greeny-blue instead of anything more firmly contrasting. But you managed to sort it all out mostly on your own, once or twice asking Pedro to double check. And then, finally, you could assemble the tree, inserting the branches into the little grooves all along the central pole. First one colour, then another, moving from the larger bottom branches to the smallest ones around the top. You and Pedro made a competition out of who could get the most branches in securely, but in the end you both lost count and had to call it a draw. Each of you claimed a kiss as your prize.

You were just finishing separating all the little offshoots out, spreading them apart after they’d been pressed together in their box for months, so that the tree looked full and perfect, when the takeout arrived. It was the only thing that could have made you take a break, especially when Pedro produced a bottle of wine to accompany the dinner. You didn’t bother to move to the table or even to the lounge, deciding to just sit where you were, surrounded by the boxes of decorations. But your mind was firmly on the tree, and you only ate at a reasonable pace because you kept talking about decorating it.   “What colour theme should we go with this year?” “What’d we do last year?” Pedro asked between mouthfuls. “We went traditional last year, silver and gold.” “Well let’s do something brighter this year, all our most colourful ornaments.” You agreed, grinning.

Once you were done eating you could actually starting hanging the decorations. You’d been buying ornaments for years, struggling to resist picking up something new each year. Especially post-Christmas when all the unsold decorations went on sale. And then Pedro had added his more modest collection to yours when you’d moved in together. So there was a lot to choose from. The tinsel was first. Pedro (groaning as he got up off the floor) pulled a few different lengths from the box, comparing them to each other to assess their colourfulness. In the end he went with one that was mostly purple but with strands throughout in every other colour of the rainbow. He set to winding it through the branches as you were disentangling the lights. Once they were unwound and unknotted you plugged them in to make sure they still worked and, when it was clear they did, the two of you threaded them around the tree too. Even just having the bright spots of coloured light made everything feel more festive and fun.

But then came the real fun. The ornaments. Pedro sang along to the Christmas songs as he dug through the tub of ornaments to find the best ones, and it was impossible not to join in his singing. You only paused to take sips of wine or to step back and make sure there were no two ornaments of the same colour situated too close together on the tree. You couldn’t stop smiling. You were doing one of your favourite holiday activities with your favourite person. He made it all the more fun, joking around and laughing. It was almost a shame when it was done, both of you moving back to take in the multicoloured display. “The star!” you said suddenly, realising you’d forgotten it. The tree was too tall for you to reach, and besides it was usually Pedro’s job, so you held the star out to him, “Do the honour?” "I did it last year, it’s your turn,” he said with a shake of his head and then eh wandered off to grab a chair for you to stand on. He even held out his hand as support while you stepped up onto it.   With the extra height it was much easier to reach so you placed the star, carefully pulling your hands back, hoping it was balanced correctly on the point, “There, perfect.” Pedro hummed in agreement but when you turned to him for a hand down, you saw he wasn’t looking at the tree. “What?” “I am so in love with you.” Pedro smiled up at you, his hand rising to your hips. You would have sworn you’d melted like a snowman with the way your heart felt so full. You’d been together for so long. You were married. And yet here he was telling you not just that he loved you but that he was still in love with you.  You’d never felt so lucky. “I’m in love with you too.” The Christmas lights twinkled behind you as you leant down to kiss him.  

[reborrowing]

Pocket Guides to Zombie Survival (unwarranted zombie au)

Part 2

seeing posts about gt horror made me want to go back to that unwarranted zombie au idea and I had most of a little thing written already. I don't know that I'll continue it but. ghoulish little scavengers discover actual ghoul, unaware that the apocalypse began several months back. I figure borrowers would have few if any myths about undead bodies because so many of the deaths they encounter don't leave behind a corpse to un-die. ~1100 words contains gore and an allegedly dead body

There was a body at the humans' campground. 

It was the first one to show up there for months, several weeks past the giants' usual spring return to the woods. There should have been human hikers tromping through their wide, winding trails months ago. There should be families making temporary homes out of the neatly divided lots. There was just the one body, lying dead in front of its RV for nearly a week.

Rei missed the annual parade of returning giants and all the bright colors and chaos and treasure they hauled in with them. She was tired of the random, menial tasks around the warren she kept getting assigned in lieu of borrowing and volunteered herself to go investigate the dead one. She figured a dead giant couldn’t be much more dangerous than a sleeping one. 

Now that they were actually approaching the body, Rei's stomach shifted. It was disgusting, yes, a landscape of raw meat and gore, but there was something else too. Something she couldn't quite identify that begged her to run away. 

Whatever it was she sensed, Coop didn't notice it as she bounced along towards the sickening heap. She'd invited herself along and Rei didn't complain. Her sister was always itching to do something stupid and Rei had learned early in life that it was best to indulge her before she found worse trouble on her own. Plus, it gave her volunteering a little more legitimacy to have a warren guard come with her.

"Ew,” Coop said, “I thought that scout was exaggerating, but ghosts, that's nasty!”

It looked like the giant's shoulder had exploded. The top of their flannel was in shreds. Rotting meat sloughed off its shoulder and the left half of its face had been ripped off of the cadaver’s head, hanging on by just a few stringy bits.

Rei edged closer. There were no clean cuts. It was pulpy, like when a crow ripped apart a squirrel, although it looked like the meat had been only shoved to the side, not carried off or eaten. What was left was a jagged, bloody horror with piles of rotting slurry that all stank worse than a sewer.

It wasn’t all bad. The body's lower half was intact, including its jeans. Rei had been hoping to bring back some denim. She would just have to hold her breath for the harvest.

She stepped over a lost clump of hair to have a look at what was left of the poor giant’s face. The half resting on the ground was gray and bloated but otherwise still human. A rough, reddish outline of teeth marred the corpse's forehead, where it still had enough skin to mar. Rei bristled, her fur suddenly standing up on end as if she were being watched.

It was bit by something big, at least dog-sized. But there was no way it was a dog that had made that mark. It had wide, flat teeth in front and was made of two, nearly even parentheses. She licked her lips anxiously. It was the same shape of her own bite, if her canines were a lot duller.

Rei’s gaze slid across the gory remains to look at the corpse’s exposed jaw, feeling ill. It was supposed to be a ghost story that humans ate people. But she looked at the teeth behind the shredded tissue, she saw that they were close to the same size as the indentations on the forehead. There was at least one other giant nearby, one that had managed to go unnoticed by a half dozen different scouts. One that tried to eat its own people. 

"Hey, Rei?” Coop called, interrupting her thoughts. “Are humans poisonous? If you ate it, could you or would the meat—"

"Do not! Gross!” Rei snapped. She was further unnerved by the idea that the story could be inverted, that humans could be eaten by anyone at all.

"Not me! Ew! It’s just like, we’re not the only scavengers out here. He’s been out here for days, how come nothing else is eating him? I don’t even hear any maggots.”

Rei turned as Coop’s blonde head appeared over the body’s forearm, its watch now slung over her shoulder. Her quizzical expression suddenly popped into wide-eyed, fangs-bared fear. The face looming beside Rei shifted with a loud, wet noise. She froze as a rush of air blew over her, sucking at her hair, as the corpse inhaled through its empty cavity of a nose.

Rei ran and darted for the cover of the nearest bush. Behind her, Coop squealed as the corpse shuddered around her and began to get up. It was clumsy, probably because so many of its muscles were missing or rotten, but that was hardly important when it was a few hundred times heavier than the two of them combined.

Rei ducked into the foliage and turned to wait for Coop. She watched in terror as her sister jammed a needle through its palm to no effect.

Anyone knew a needle couldn’t stop a human, hardly anything could, but it was supposed to at least give them pause. But the body didn’t flinch. It didn’t even seem to notice the metal now lodged in its flesh. Its hand slid backwards, knocking Coop along with it. There was a nasty snap as it pushed itself to its feet, back up to its towering height. Coop lay crumpled beside its feet.

It swayed for a moment and sniffed at the air like an animal before turning to where Rei was hiding. It was unsteady, with wide and unpredictable steps. Rei hunkered back further into the bramble. It crashed carelessly through the thorny growth, only missing her by chance.

Her heart hammered as she wove through the branches. She pushed herself off the side of the not-so-dead body’s sneaker and back into the clearing for Coop. The giant stumbled around in the undergrowth for a few seconds before huffing in another breath and turning straight towards her. Rei paled.

Coop was curled up with pain. She had a broken foot at least, and her shoulder was messed up, the other injuries could be assessed later. The most pressing problem was that she wouldn’t be able to make her own way back to the warren or some other safe haven. Rei was going to carry her, which meant they couldn't to run.

And if that thing was using smell to see them, ghosts only knew how far it could track them from anyways. She couldn’t leave it a trail back to the whole warren.

Rei swallowed nervously and steadied herself to drag Coop under the nearby RV before the body could catch up to them. It slammed against the side but, for whatever reason, didn’t think to get down on its knees and crawl after them. It shook the whole structure, stubbornly banging against the wall, but Rei and Coop were able to pick their way up to a gap leading into the RV’s interior.

There was another giant inside.

[eratolasting]

Tapes (Eddie Munson x Reader)

Summary: @lunatictardis 's raffle. One day you buy a new tape to listen to and find yourself enraptured by the narrator's voice.

Warnings: Use of the name "Sara" x2, voice kink, hand kink, breeding kink, stranger sex, semi-public sex, car sex, fingering (f receiving), soft choking, slight degradation, use of the word slut, squirting.

Word Count: 4.1k

MINORS DNI. 18+ ONLY

Finally it was the weekend. A day off of work was exactly what you needed. Not even just to relax, to get things done around the house. The week had been busy, and the dishes were piling up, you needed to do laundry, and vacuum. After sleeping a good few hours, you got out of bed and started about the chores you needed to do that day. 

Before, however, you placed a new cassette tape into your player and started it up. You liked to listen to something while you did chores, it made it go by a lot faster than if you were folding laundry in silence. Pet Sematary, that’s what you’d gotten at the store recently. Stephen King books were always good, but you had little time to actually sit down and read them — so, listening was always a good option. 

A man's voice started up with a simple “Pet Sematary by Stephen King.” You tilted your head slightly at the voice. Even from those simple few words, you decided you liked whoever was recording it. They had a nice voice. “Louis Creed, who had lost his father at three and who had never known a grandfather, never expected to find a father as the entered the middle age, but that was exactly what happened…” 

You paused your plate scrubbing to listen better, a soft tingle growing in your lower belly. Oh fuck, he had a nice voice. 

“...although he called this man a friend, as grown man must do when he finds the man who should have been his father relatively late in life. He met this man…”

You weren’t even a full paragraph into the book yet, and you were rubbing your thighs together, your hands gripping the edge of the counter as you imagined this same voice whispering sweet nothings to you, telling you how badly he wanted to fuck you, saying how pretty you looked with your face all flushed and his fingers around your throat. 

Your brow knitted together and you closed your eyes, biting your lip as you took in a breath through your nose, trying to calm the heat rushing through your body. This was a bad idea, apparently. You'd get nothing done today at this rate… but what was the harm in a little play time before you actually got your chores done. 

You kept the tape on as you touched yourself, leaning against the counter with one hand gripping it and the other between your legs. 

"Fuck, the things I want to do to you. Wanna stuff my cock into your tight little pussy and just ruin it. Make sure no one else can ever make you feel like I do. Rub that puffy little clit for me, baby… yeah, that's it. Good girl." You could literally imagine him talking to you. 

It guided you through not one, but two orgasms. Once you were thoroughly satisfied, you washed your hands and restarted the tape. Maybe now you could focus and get some work done. 

“Louis Creed, who had lost his father at three and who had never known a grandfather, never expected to find a father as the entered the middle age, but that was exactly what happened…” 

You sighed softly as you worked around the house, getting a quarter ways through the book before you were done with everything you needed to finish that day. You flopped onto the couch, turning the player off before you picked up the cassette case. You flipped it over to look at the back, seeing if there was any information. 

You didn't know why you were so interested, other than you hadn't cum like that in months, and especially not by yourself. 

Seeing no information, you placed the cassette back into its case and got up. After mulling over it for a good few minutes you got into your car and drove to the store you bought it from.

“Hi there, how can I help you?” The worker asked, a short girl with blonde curls and a welcoming smile.

You didn’t know how to word this, even though you’d thought about it for the entire drive. What did it matter that you wanted to know who this man was, and if you could get more of his cassettes? Would this woman even care?

“Yes, hi. I bought this tape a few days ago and—”

“Oh, is there something wrong with it?” She asked, holding out a hand for it.

“No, no, definitely not! I was actually wondering if you had some information on it?” You bit your cheek, trying to not blush or feel embarrassed. 

“Well, we do keep a catalog of things. What did you want to know?” She asked. 

You hesitantly handed it over and she looked at the front covering. “Ah, Pet Sematary. This is a good one. Are you looking for more Stephen King, or—?”

“No, actually. I was wondering if the person who read it has any other tapes? His voice is… very calming—and he’s good at doing characters voices. Very interesting to listen to!” You were beginning to ramble, so you shut your mouth.

“Let me check, though I don’t see why he wouldn’t have done more.” She smiled at you and went around the desk. 

She opened up a large binder and flipped through a few laminated pages before placing her finger on it and sliding it down until it stopped. “Ah, alright. Edward Munson did the voice-over for this one. Now, let me check the computer.” 

She moved to the big box and typed slowly on the keyboard. “It takes a few minutes to load, but it should give tell me what we have in stock of his.” She smiled at you.

You nodded and smiled back, waiting as patiently as you could manage with your toes tapping softly against the linoleum flooring. 

The computer beeped and she leaned into the screen, squinting. “Okay, Edward Munson… Pet Sematary… let me see…” She tilted her head and nodded, “Yes, okay. We have a few things he did in stock. Funniest thing, though. He’s local.” 

“What?” You asked, unsure you heard her right. “Yeah! He’s from here.” 

“Well… do you have any information on him?” You asked.

She scoffed softly. “I’m sorry, but do you think computers can do everything? No, I’ve only got basic information in here. Says where the tapes came from, is all. Hawkins Studio. It’s where our local bands record tapes and records, too.”

You nodded, slow. “Well… thank you for your help. If you direct me to the tapes, I’ll get another one.” 

She pulled out a few options for you, and you decided to go on the set of the original Lord of The Rings. That would be interesting. It wasn’t until you were in your car that it had finally settled in with you that this man, Edward Munson, whose voice you’d masturbated to, was… was a local. He was from Hawkins. 

You swallowed thickly, tapping your fingers against the steering wheel. You had a choice to make, here. You could go home and continue to just listen to him… or you could take a chance. See if he was single, maybe? Jesus, how stupid was that? Though… your friends had been telling you to get back out there.

You sighed, and pressed your forehead against the steering wheel. What was the worst that could happen, here? He could reject you, that was all. 

Your heart thumped in your chest as you started your car back up and began the drive to Hawkins Studio. You hoped, hoped that they would give you some information on him. 

However, once you parked in the little lot of the building, you sat in your car for a good twenty minutes, working up the nerve to go in. Finally, after hyping yourself up, you got out of your car and went inside. 

“Hello, do you have an appointment?” The receptionist started off quickly. 

“Uh, no, actually I—” She cut you off.

“Would you like to set up an appointment? We don't allow people to just walk in and use the studio space.”

“No, I’m not here for—” 

“Well then I will have to ask you to leave. The studio is in use at the moment anyhow.” 

You stood for a moment, shocked at how this was going so far. You cleared your throat, “You don’t understand, I’m not here to use a studio.”

“Oh, are you with the band? We don’t allow…” She made an ugly face, searching for the words, “...groupies into the space either. For good reason, too. The last time it happened there was a lot of cleaning up to be done and no one was happy about that.” 

“No! No, I am not a groupie.” You laughed, though it was strained, dry. “I just wanted some information on someone who has used the studio before.” You explained.

“Oh, I see—” The phone rang, “One moment please.” 

You groaned, pressing a hand to your forehead. This was going great. 

After her quick conversation and setting up an appointment with someone, she looked back up at you.

“What was it that you wanted to know, dear?” 

“Edward Munson, I was wondering if you had any information on how I might find him or contact him?” You asked.

“Oh, I apologize. We don't give out information like that. However…” 

“You’re looking for me?” 

Your face turned bright red as you heard the voice… his voice, that voice, right behind you. You swallowed thickly, and you couldn’t turn to look at him. You were too embarrassed, caught in the act of trying to find him. You didn’t think you’d get far with this anyways, so finding him on accident? 

Slowly, you turned, brushing some hair behind your ear sheepishly as you took in his figure. He was taller than you, with long curls and beautiful brown eyes. In his hand was a cup of water, and there was a good bit of sweat dampening his bangs and coating his upper lip. He was dressed in a cut-off Metallica shirt and black jeans with holes in the knees, complete with chains and a studded belt. 

This was…not exactly what you had expected when you had heard his name, his voice. 

However, you weren’t disappointed. Not one bit. He was handsome, even in his boyish way. 

“I— yes.” You released a breath, “I was—I heard—I got a—” “Woah, woah, sweetheart. Just take a breath for me, okay? You’re fine.” He smiled at you. It was friendly, sweet.

You did as he said and took a breath, closing your eyes in the moment to calm yourself. 

“Now, try again.” 

“I got a cassette tape, one that you recorded. And I thought—I may try to find you since you were local. I…enjoyed your reading.” You explained.

He smiled a little wider. “Yeah?” He asked. “It’s a pastime of mine, one that makes me more money than the band does.” He chuckled and lifted his wrist to look at his watch. “We’re done with the studio space in about an hour. You can come in, if you like metal music? Then we can talk afterward.” 

You hadn’t expected such kindness, but you nodded anyways. You liked whatever music. You were sure that whatever you heard of him you would like, anyways.

Your body was already hot allover from hearing his voice again.

He nodded towards the hallway. You followed him down it, and into a door. 

“Guys, this is… Oh, I never caught your name.” He laughed a bit, “Sorry about that.” “Sara.” You responded, smiling at the group of men in the room. “Sara,” He repeated. “Well, you can call me Eddie. This is Gareth, Michael, Pete, Jared, and Tyler. Sara came here looking for me because she listened to one of the books I recorded on tape.” He grinned.

The guys grinned back, all sharing looks. 

“You can sit here, sweetheart. We’re just about done. Just make sure you keep quiet ‘cause we’re working on an album, alright?” 

You nodded, your lips curling up into a smile as you sat on the couch Eddie had directed you to. 

You watched as Eddie picked up his guitar and slung the strap over his shoulder. The other few got into their places, and the music started. Your cheeks flushed as you watched him, watched the way his hands moved over the strings, the way his fingers plucked at them, how his veins were displaying themselves because of how hard he was working.

You were fucking done for. A sexy voice, and sexy hands? He was easy on the eyes, too. By the time they were finished you’d heard a few of their songs, and your panties were thoroughly soaked through — you’d kept imagining his hands all over your body, with him whispering the dirtiest things to you.

You bit your lip as he put his guitar back into its case, and you stood.

“So? How did you like it?” He asked, grinning at you.

You nodded, with a smile. “It was good. Can’t wait to buy the record when it comes out.” You admitted, brushing some hair behind your ear. 

“You’re too kind.” He laughed and picked up his case. “Walk out with me?” He asked.

You nodded. He said his goodbyes to his bandmates and the two of you walked out of the studio with the group oogling at you from behind.

“So, you were looking for me, right?” He hummed, as he opened up the back door of his van. There was a mattress there, and you couldn’t help but wonder if he lived in it. Not that it was a huge problem if he did. “What were you wanting?” He asked, sliding his guitar case into a space to keep it out of the way.

“Oh, you know. I was just — “ You didn’t know what to say. In all honesty, you never even thought you’d find him. Luck was just on your side, it seemed.

“Just — ?” He prompted, standing back in front of you, facing you now. He lifted his hand and softly brushed some of your hair behind your shoulder, his fingers delicately brushing against your neck. 

You gasped softly, not expecting such a touch. He grinned. 

“Just —” You began again, but your words caught in your throat as he took a step closer to you. So close, that you had to tilt your head back to look up at him. 

“Just—” He was mocking you this time, playfully. “Use your words, sweetheart. Tell me what you want.” Eddie smirked. His fingertips delicately brushed along the top of your shoulder and down to your arm. You shivered slightly. 

“You.” You finally spat out, your brain a little fuzzy from the soft touches after you spent a whole hour thinking about him touching you.

“Me?” He chuckled. “You want me? But you don’t know me.” 

“I don’t care.” You breathed and broke the space between you to press your lips together. 

You could feel his smirk against your lips as his arms wrapped around you, pulling your body flush against his. Here you were, in an open parking lot, with his band members still leaving, throwing yourself at him. A stranger. Someone you’d never even met before today.

You couldn’t care, though. Especially not with feeling his cock twitch against you. It wasn’t hard yet, and you could still feel how big it was. 

His hand slid down to your ass and he walked you backwards until your knees felt the edge of the van, hiding the two of you between the open doors of the back. 

He broke the kiss, and grinned at you. “Climb in, sweetheart.” He quirked his brows at you. 

You did as told, climbing into the back and he followed after you, closing the doors behind him. He turned back to you and tilted his head, looking you over as you sat, with your chest heaving, on the mattress. 

“Seems like you’re just a little slut, hm? Come to meet me only to be fucked in a parking lot. Pathetic.” 

You flushed, but you liked his words, so… you nodded, slowly, spreading your legs apart for him to display how wet your panties were beneath your skirt.

His eyes met with your core, and he laughed, a barking, loud laugh. 

“You’re mine and I don’t even know you. Tell me, what were you thinking about so much that you are already soaked without me so much as touching you.” 

“I-I— um… Thinking about your hands… you touching me while you… while you talk to me…” You bit your lip. “Oh, really?” He asked, amused. He climbed up onto the mattress, and his hand disappeared beneath your skirt. You felt his fingers press against your soaked core and you moaned, falling back to let yourself rest on the mattress. “Like this?” He mused, rubbing his fingers against you. “You like my voice, baby? Think it’s sexy?” He teased you, his finger pressing against your clit. “Want me to tell you how fucking pretty you are? How much I wanted to just tear your clothes off and fuck you right in front of that receptionist the moment I saw you, heard you say my name?” 

Your brow knotted together and you nodded, your lips parted as you moaned for him. 

“God, I did, sweetheart.” He sighed, kissing your jaw softly. His fingers hooked in your panties and pushed them aside before he pressed one into your dripping cunt, curling it. You whimpered, grabbing a handful of his hair as your other hand gripped at the sheet beneath you. “Wanted to rip this pretty skirt off of you and bend you over her desk. Wanted to make you look up into her eyes as I railed the fuck out of you. Let you take me over and over while anyone could just walk in and watch us.” You moaned loudly, tilting your head back further as his lips trailed across your throat. 

“God, you’re so fuckin’ pretty… and you’re all mine, aren’t you? Bet you want me to stuff you full with my cum, breed you fuckin’ full with my babies. Don’t even know me…it’s so dirty.” He sighed, pressing a second finger into you as he sucked a spot into your neck. 

Your face was red, hot, and your legs were spread as wide as you could get them for him as he fucked you open with his fingers.

“Oh, fuck.” You cried out, your back arching. 

“Hmm?” He asked, a low chuckle in his throat. “What’s that, baby?” He pressed his lips against yours softly, before pulling back to look you in the eyes, “You want more? Tell me that. I’ll give you everything you want, sweetheart. So fuckin’ perfect for me.” He sighed, happy. 

You nodded, “Please, please, fuck me. Fuck me and cum in me.” You moaned, your pussy clenching around his fingers.

“Such a dirty girl..” He hummed, leaning in to kiss you again. He pulled his fingers out of you and climbed over your legs to position himself between yours. He pushed your shirt up, his hands toying with your chest and plucking at your nipples delicately before his fingers trailed up to your neck. He grabbed your throat as he kissed you, holding you in place as his tongue dived into your mouth and explored it. 

You couldn’t fucking handle it. You whimpered, your hips moving up because you wanted — needed to be touched. 

He chuckled again, and let go of your throat to undo his belt and his jeans, shoving them down only enough to pull his cock out. You broke the kiss so you could look down at it the moment you felt it touch your thigh.

“Fuck—” You whined, your lips parting open as you saw just how big it was. He was going to split your fucking body in two with that monster, but you couldn’t wait for it. 

You wrapped your legs around his waist as he guided his cock against your folds, rubbing himself against you. Your panties, however, had a different idea as they slid back into place before he could stuff himself inside you. You both groaned, and he reached down with both hands to rip them apart with no issue. 

It was hot, you had to admit. Him ripping your clothes open. You felt a little woozy from that, but thankfully you were already laying down.

He positioned himself again, and slowly pushed in. You moaned, your head tilting back as he stared down at where your bodies connected until he was fully sheathed inside of you. He was breathing a little heavily, his breath mingling with yours. 

“Fuck, you’re tight.” He hissed. 

You couldn’t help but agree, the stretch of him causing a soft burn inside of you. You didn’t care. It felt so fucking good. 

He slid his fingers up and into your open, awaiting mouth. You closed your lips around them, sucking and running your tongue over them as he groaned and softly shifted his hips inside of you. You could taste yourself on his fingers. 

“Shit, such a good girl, taking all of me like this… and raw, too? How fucking dirty. Don’t even know me and you’re letting me fuck you… fuck, it’s so hot.” He groaned, pulling back and thrusting back into you.

You cried out as he hit your g-spot, your eyes squeezing shut. 

“Fuck, that made your little pussy flutter around me. That feel good, sweetheart?” 

God, you couldn’t even think. His fingers were in your mouth, his cock in your cunt, and he was talking to you, telling you what was happening. You could fucking die.

“Bet you don't give this pretty pussy the attention it deserves. If it was mine I’d be stuffing it full every fucking day. Every chance I got.” He groaned, finding a set pace for his hips.

“God, you’re so tight I don’t think I can even—fuck.” He didn’t finish his sentence, his hips just sped up. 

“Gonna pump you so full of my fucking cum, I bet it’s going to just spill out of you. Gonna make sure you give me a baby, huh? You like that, don’t you? The thought of giving a baby to a stranger? Yeah..” He sighed, resting his forehead on your shoulder. “Fuck—”

You were a mess. Moaning, whimpering, whining as he fucked his fat cock into you. There was nothing more you wanted right now than to be his. For him to stuff you full every fucking day and to make sure you were never without an empty uterus. 

“Mmm….ah—” You gasped out as a new sensation began to rise in you. Your belly was growing hotter and hotter by the second, and it was something akin to an orgasm… but different. 

“Keep going, Eddie, please —” You cried out to him, only urging him to speed up. “Fuck, fuck, fuck, I can’t take it—” You gasped, your back arching up as he reached down between you to rub your clit with his spit-soaked fingers. 

On a pull out, it happened. The pressure in your body released and you squirted onto his thick cock, screaming. 

He laughed, loudly, amused. “Wow, you are a fucking slut. You like this way too much.” He laughed some more, before shoving his cock back inside you and kissing you deeply, his hand on your throat again to hold you in place.

His cock kept going and going and going until that pressure built up again—and you made an even bigger mess. You whimpered and whined, your cunt fluttering and sucking him in deeper. God you’d never… this had never happened before. 

“Shit…gonna fill you up, yeah? So fuckin’ hot.” He sighed as he broke the kiss. Sweat dripped off of his forehead onto your throat as he watched the way your pussy greedily sucked him in again, the sounds of your combined sex’s making loud noises in the van. 

“Gonna fuckin’ — fill you to the brim, shit, I’m gonna cum, I’m gonna cum—!” He let out a strangled moan as he bucked his hips into you roughly.

You were almost thankful for him to be finishing. You didn’t know how much more of it you could take.

“Fuck, shit—” He sighed, his hips slowing before they finally stilled. His lips pressed against your skin wherever they could reach before they met yours again, and he slowly pulled out and dropped onto the mattress next to you.

“Well… it was very nice to meet you, Sara.” He grinned.

. . . . . . . . . .

Tag list: @eddiemunsons-girl @spiderrrling @syddsatyrn @mayeddieandstevegf

[starry-blue-echoes]

You know, your Golden Child AU reminded me of a similar AU I made, where Jonathan, in his dying moments aboard the ship, is suddenly sent back to the past, a month or two after Dio arrived at the manor.

And for a while, he wonders if this is some kind of hallucination before death or life flashing before his eyes, and eventually he realises that this is all real.

The first thing he does is go over to the mask on the wall and smash it into pieces.

(George was so upset, especially since the mask belonged to Mary, and punished him for that. But it was more than worth it.)

Jonathan had long since learnt from Speedwagon and Erina that the way he was treated by his father was wrong and he never deserved that, but still... he wants to try and do things 'right' this time. He hadn't been sent far back enough to stop Dio from assaulting Erina, or to save Danny, but he's determined to make the most of it. Maybe... if he could excel in his studies and act like a proper gentleman, he could prove himself to George. He has better coping mechanisms for studying now- and he knows most of the basic education stuff, so he doesn't need to stress so hard over studying anymore!

And maybe, just maybe, he could stop Dio from going down a dark path, if he kept trying to befriend him and get to know him better.

Missing the ones who truly loved him as much as he did them, he also took a risk, sneaking out of the house during his grounding for breaking the stone mask, finding his way onto Ogre Street.

Speedwagon, recently crowned king of Ogre Street, was very confused about this weird lost kid who seemed completely unafraid at being held at knifepoint (and seemed a bit too happy to see him?). But eventually he hears him out. Jonathan comes clean about everything, and wasn't too surprised to be believed, but having someone on his side still made him really emotional.

Unfortunately, back home, nothing goes right. Dio absolutely resents Jonathan's newfound confidence and boldness, and the more he tries to reach out to him, the harder Dio tries to hurt him back.

Jonathan also soon realises nothing he does will ever be good enough for his father. Even when he doesn't slip up, George always finds fault in everything he does, and would not listen to anything he has to say. The revelation leaves him heartbroken but also frees him from fighting so hard for his approval.

He ends up leaving the house frequently to spend more time with Speedwagon. When he finds out he's able to generate Hamon, he uses it to heal the sick or injured who are unable to see a doctor.

That's about all I have for now. Maybe vampires might still happen, there are a lot of masks, and what if someone heard about George losing a memento of his late wife, and gifts him a stone mask uncovered from a different location? Heh heh.

Y E S S S S S S S S S

TIME TRAVEL FIXITS MY BELOVED-

oh Jonathan oh sweetie oh baby-

oh my god I'm LOVING this idea though

what if smashing the mask was an incredibly impulsive decision. He suddenly wakes up in the middle of the night in a body that's much too small in a house that doesn't exist anymore in a room that was too big and empty and everything hurt his skin was burning and crawling and itching he needs to run to hide to leave, everything's on fire he feels the smoke on his tongue, in his lungs

the next thing he knows he's running through the halls of the manor, tears flowing like rivers down his face. He doesn't know how but he manages to get to the main room and the mask is there sitting on the wall cold stone empty eyes sitting there tainting him mocking him it can't be here it ruined everything it can't be here it can't be here-

The next thing he knows, a servant is pulling him back from a pile of rock in a firm grip and restraining his bloody, broken hands and speaking to him in soft, desperate tones

it had been so long since he'd been small enough to be held in this way, and that combined with everything else it's no surprise Jonathan breaks down

Jonathan is completely mentally gone when his father scolds him. His brain is far away somewhere else freaking the hell out over the insanity he's managed to land himself in, debating whether everything was a dream or if this is a dream or if he's finally lost it, on and on and on spiraling further and further into his head

barely a few days later with his hands still bloody and broken he takes a trip to Ogre Street to find proof what he remembered wasn't a dream, and he finds it

Speedwagon is...... definitely weirded out by this strange kid and just how much he knows about him, but he seems to be a genuinely good guy and also he's clearly telling some truth if the weird magic healing lightning he can use is any indicator. He even offered to teach him! .......also the guy generally looks like he could use some help, he honestly looks like he's going to burst into tears at any moment

speaking of Hamon, despite the danger of the Stone Mask now being presumably dealt with, I can see Jonathan continuing to practice it. It's comforting and good repetition, plus it's nice to have some insurance just in case things go poorly. Zeppeli's gonna be in for such a surprise when he shows up-

Also yesssssss with the replacement masks, Pillarmen shenangians are going to be insane

[buckyalpine]

Yk, I dont like angst, and I so do not like cheating fics. I agree with u, it could be triggering for me as well. (I read it anw still bc I like hurting myself) But i really love how you ended all of it. Never once did the reader forgave and took Bucky back. Love it.

If I may suggest, (solely for my petty ass self’s satisfaction) something for boundaries bucket and Sharon.

Like the group intentionally planned on going somewhere (just overnight) and excluded Bucky (a vacay, a celebration). Thats just the start tho. Bc y/n decided to invite Sharon to accompany bucket while theyre gone. And all of these info were given to bucket right before they left. Something like:

B: hey where are we going tonight?

Y/N: oh well, its (insert event) and WE *literally pointing at the group and excluding bucket* will be gone until tomorrow.

B: bu-

Y/N or nat idk hehe: and since we care sooo much abt you getting lonely here, we decided to invite Sharon over, so she could entertain you, keep you company, yk? You seem to like her presence so much anw.

B: no. I do not want her in anyway at all. I dont need her here. Just send her home.

Steve(?) maybe: oh do you not like the idea of us knowing? You guys would like to interact with the idea that you guys are hiding? You like the thrill?

Y/N(?) maybe: well, easy, maybe just forget and pretend that we dont know!

set it up like this in your head Sergeant Barnes, we told you we would be gone overnight, you decided this is the perfect time to go behind our backs again since yall badly miss and need e/o, so u invited her here, and bam! There ya go. You got the whole scenario set up.

Steve (?): I heard she misses you, you must miss her a lot, no?

B: no. No I do not want anything involving her, never needed nor missed her. If she goes here….

IDK SOMETHING LIKE THAT (it doesnt have to be exactly the way the convo went). I just love the idea of them always excluding bucket out unless necessary to include him, then pushing it in his face that he chose Sharon’s pussy over everything else, so he must live with it. Also Sharon may have liked bucky but all she would get from bucky after that incident is a glare of disgust. She kept throwing herself at bucky but in the end bucket avoided her like plague, even said he hates her more than hydra.

(Idk maybe im petty? Maybe I do not let go easily? Maybe im putting the blame too much on Bucket, but I just want them to suffer sooo much, emotionally.)

But this is just a scene? I think? Its your choice what plot, how it starts or ends, whatsoever, I trust ur creative and beautiful mind 💙

I'm sorry this took for fucking ever to get to, I hope this is sort of how you imagined it.

Months later after the incident:

Bucky looked at the pile of bags by the door, confused since he hadn't been told about any missions and it was rare the group went anywhere together. You sauntered in with a tiny sundress, adding a few last minute items to your bag, ignoring Bucky as he looked at you longingly. He still loved you. So much.

It was one thing to lose you if things simply didn't work out; the way he lost you was so much worse. He clenched his fists, trying to calm himself down before speaking.

"What's with all the bags...?"

You turned around, smiling at him sweetly, the smile he missed so much. The smile you only genuinely gave

"Well, WE are going to Clint's cabin for the weekend"

"Oh-

"Surprised no one told you, after all I even invited Sharon just to keep you company"

You shrugged at his hurt expression, continuing to arrange your bag. Bucky's jaw clenched, he'd ignored Sharon’s mass of calls and texts, surely 50 of them must have been regarding this trip but he never bothered checking.

“I- I don’t even want her, just send her home, or uninvite her, I never even liked her, she-

“She was wrapped around your dick” You snorted while Steve came to start putting things in the Jet. 

“Go easy on him y/n, maybe they just like the excitement of sneaking around and and fucking each other behind peoples backs. Honestly, if that’s what gets you off, we’re more than happy to pretend we don’t see you” 

You nearly cackled while Steve threw a few bags over his shoulder, not bothering to look at Bucky who was most likely about to cry. 

“Just pretend we don’t even know! I’ll even lay it out for you, picture this. We just told you we were taking a quick trip out of state and since you’re star crossed lovers, who just desperately miss and need each other so badly, you decided to take a romantic getaway here while we were all gone. I’m pretty sure Tony made some upgrades to the cabin, the walls are probably sound proof” 

“Y/n, please...” Bucky looked at you with pleading eyes, this was so much worse than any pain he’d experienced before. “I don’t like her, I still love you” 

You ignored him, zipping up your luggage while Nat walked by smirking. 

“Hmmm I heard she misses you” She sassed, rolling her eyes seeing Sharon making her way down the elevator. “You must miss her too, right? You guys had some real chemistry” 

Bucky remained silent, watching you while his heart continued to break. You were supposed to be his girl. It was supposed to be you. The girl he married, the girl he had a family with, the girl who he grew old with. 

He hated it. He hated himself. He had 100 choices he could have made every single time he had slipped up. It was bad enough it happened more than once. He betrayed you. He betrayed Steve. He couldn’t even look at himself in the mirror, feeling pure disgust and guilt with himself.  

Did he fuck up royally? Yes. 

Did he genuinely love you? Also...yes. And he always would. This wasn’t something he was ever going to move on from.

“Baby...” Bucky’s voice cracked as you shook your head, walking away. He’d times as many times as he could, begging and pleading. He knew the damage was done. He knew you’d never come back to him, even though he was going to wait for you for the rest of his life. 

“Bucky!” Sharon smiled, making her way towards him. Bucky felt bile rise in his throat, it didn’t matter how many times he told her he was done, she continued to throw herself at him. “You didn’t reply to my message. Everyone’s going to the cabin”

“Don’t you feel an ounce of guilt?” Bucky growled, staring at her packed bags in disbelief. 

“For what?” She snorted, shrugging nonchalantly, her eyes trailing up and down his body. 

“Sharon, I- never mind.  I can’t make this any clearer, I’m not interested” 

Bucky tried to shove past her to go back to his room while she ran after him, grabbing his arm. 

“But it’ll be so much fun! We’ll even get our own room” She whispered by his ear and Bucky could feel his blood boil. He yanked his arm out of her grasp, nearly knocking her off balance. “Don’t you like me-

“WILL YOU FUCK OFF?! PLEASE?!” Bucky took a few steps back, his patience reaching his limit. “I NEVER FUCKING LIKED YOU” 

Sharon gaped, staring at him like a fish out of water. Nothing pissed her off more than the fact that Bucky still liked you, 

“Why the fuck do you still like her?! Have you seen her? You can do so much better- 

Bucky ran a hand over his face, taking a few deep breaths that did nothing to calm him down but he didn’t want to do something he’d regret. He’d already done enough of that. 

“Fuck off. FUCK OFF I lost my girl because of a stupid fucking choice I made, I’ll deal with those consequences now, but that doesn’t mean I want you. I never wanted you. We fucked. That’s it. I loved her and I STILL love her” 

“You-You can’t do this to me, 

“Sharon, in all fucking honesty, Hydra wasn’t as awful as you” 

Sharon scoffed, tears streaking her face as she threw her bag to the floor before going back to her room. 

“Shall we go, pretty lady?” You squealed as Thor effortlessly swept you off your feet from behind, carrying you to the jet. (Or some other character if Thor isn’t your cup of tea, pick through your roster of choices) 

“You don’t have to carry me” You giggled, throwing your arms around his neck, snuggling into his hold.

“And let my princess walk while carrying these bags all day?” He gasped, before kissing your nose. “Absolutely not” 

Bucky watched you leave in his arms, your eyes twinkling, your laugh echoing down the hall. He broke a hole in the wall. Then another. Even after utterly destroying his room, he felt nothing. No sense of relief. You were gone. You were not coming back. 

The nightmare he brought on himself would never end. 

-

(and then it was all a dream, and he woke up from the nightmare and you were snuggled by his side and he proposed to you the next day and you got married and Steve was the best man and then you had lots of sex and had lots and lots of babies and grew old together the end im never writing about this godawful au again) 

Please let me know if you want to be added or removed! (also this is an 18+ blog, I can’t tag nameless/ageless blogs)  

Tags: @glxwingrxse @hungryyeyes @sebsgirl71479 @beabutterfly987 @teambarnes72 @witchy-whore @jamesbuckybarneswify @slutforsexyseabass @chrisdrysdale​ @littlemarvelmenfan​ @buggy14​ @whimsyplaty92​ @sergntbarnes​ @inkedaztec​ @pono-pura-vida​ @moonlightreader649​ @brooklynscherry-z​  @elle14-blog1​ @littlelightnings​ @psychomanniac-blog​ @happyt0exist​ @emmabarnes​ @bethyruth​   @matchat3a​ @cjand10​ @getwellsoontana​ @cherryschaos​ @lokisasgardianvampirequeen​   @ashenc-blog​   @buckybarnessimpp​  @potatothots​ @goldylions​   @high-functioning-lokipath​  @morganemorgane​ @peaches1958​ @kingfleury

[starkcanvas]

Here's my idea for a ghost Sunny AU.

It's pre Canon and there's no pizza.

He gets really sick when he's super young and ends up passing away (4-5ish I'm also thinking some kind of cancer that the doctors misdiagnosed)

This causes the family a ton of pain, but her parents do become a lot less strict and a lot more caring after this. (Already lost 1 kid, don't want to lose another)

About a month after his death, Sunny wakes up as a Ghost in the house, this causes a lot of freakouts but it turns out not only can those 3 see him, they can also interact with him, so it ends up with a big cuddle pile and a lot of apologies.

They find out that Sunny is able to leave the house, but no-one can see him. And due to the city holding a lot of bad memories they decide to move to the town of Faraway.

Due to Sunny wanting to stay close to his family, he follows both his parents to work sometimes, but he'll usually Follow Mari to school.

A few years after this Mari is in a cooking Class and Sunny has decided to join in when they find a boy having trouble, Henry, so they team up and become friends when something surprising happens. He asks Mari if that's the teacher's Kid that's following her like a lost duckling.

Turns out there's another person who can see Sunny, so Mari invites him over after school to explain and because he walks home with his little brother he asks if he can bring him along too.

They learn 2 things with this meeting, that they're neighbours, and that Kel can also see Sunny.

They all become close friends and Canon roughly follows the same path when it comes to introducing the other 2, but they are also able to see Sunny.

The Suzuki's become unofficial second parents to Aubrey and Basil when they learn of their situation so they're a lot closer too.

Now for some miscellaneous facts.

Mari never got her knee injury in this AU, but still picks up Piano, however it's a fun hobby instead of a possible career choice.

Sunny can eat and drink, but converting matter to ectoplasm takes a while so he ends up getting sleepy after this.

Sunny technically doesn't have his own bed, he just sleeps with his parents or Mari, this is a solution everyone in the family is happy with.

He can change his appearance, but it's limited, he essentially only has 2 forms, how he looked when he died, to a form based around his mental age, so the bby can actually grow up (And potentially date)

His two forms are very different to maintain though, his original form has no real requirements and is super easy to maintain. His grown form however requires a great deal of energy to enter and a small amount to maintain as it's always changing. So boy has gotta eat and sleep to keep that one up.

Despite dying as a toddler, Sunny is pretty smart and eager to learn, he also acts a lot more maturely than he should, I guess dying will do that to you.

It takes time and effort for his family to get him to act his age, and while it isn't too common, it's worth it in their opinion.

Sunny has a big pile of plushies and if they can't find him he's usually drawing in there.

Mewo was actually a street cat that kept following Sunny around, they decided to adopt her when they noticed Sunny would actually act like a kid with her around instead of a really short adult.

Yes he can pet the kitty.

Sunny and Kel work together to try to get Hero and Mari together when it's obvious they're crushing on each other super bad.

This however gets turned on them when they are about 16.

Can't think of anymore, and it's getting a bit too long, but enjoy this AU and I hope you like the fluff.

AWWW PRECIOUS BABIES 🥹🥹🥹 I can only imagine how precious Sunny is as a ghostie and idk why but I can headcanon Mari has mixed thoughts on Sunny when he looks older because big sis doesn’t want her sweet baby brother to grow up and wants him to stay cute and small ;w;

[keepdreamingbilly]

Blindness I’m Condemned To

ahhhh this is the first time I’m posting any of my writing so please be kind!! also posted on ao3!!! 

inspired by the song Cassandra by Florence + The Machine. I could NOT stop imagining Billy stuck in the upside down to this song. ("Well, can you see me? I cannot see you. Everything I thought I knew has fallen out of view in this blindness I'm condemned to..."). Watching Steve get pulled into the upside down sparked this idea and I will be pretending it is exactly what happened from here on out thanks!!! SPOILERS FOR SEASON 4

Background: Steve and Billy had a secret relationship post season 2 but Billy kept getting scared his father would find out so would often call it quits for a few weeks before always coming back to Steve, but the last time Billy ran away was the start of summer and they didn't see each other until Starcourt when it was too late :(

Steve Harrington had lost almost all regard for his own well-being. More so, he had a personal vendetta against the hell that had permanently ripped away the guy he was in love with, terrorized his friends and haunted his home town. So when things started happening again after months and months of agonizing emptiness and anger he had no idea what to do with, he was almost relieved to be able to dive back into it. Literally.

Steve swam with solemn determination and found exactly what they were looking for - a gate. He reaches out a hand to touch it, to make sure, but something moves underneath the glowing red surface and it spooks him enough to let out the air he had been holding, forcing him to swim back up. Steve breaks the surface of the water, lets them know he’s found it and barely gets a few breaths in before there’s a tug on his ankle. He realizes something freezing cold has wrapped itself around his leg with surprising strength and he glances up at his friends one last time right before it drags him under.

The next thing Steve sees is the dark gray sky, lighting up impossibly red every other second as he’s dragged along the ground by his leg, only coming to a stop when he crashes into a pile of vines. He lies there for a moment, gasping and confused, before standing and taking in what looks like scorched earth all around him. The lake is dried up and he’s standing on solid ground. A screech echoes above him and that’s when the bats come.

Steve reaches into the abandoned boat next to him to grab an oar, using it to fight off the first bat that gets close enough. He’s not as lucky with the next as one of their tails wrap around his neck and pulls him to the ground. More bats come and their teeth are razor sharp as they bite into flesh, over and over, and Steve’s losing air as the tail tightens further around his neck. Somewhere through the panic and fear, past his body’s natural adrenalin to fight to keep alive, Steve wonders if there’s not the tiniest bit of relief.

Before the thought can fully take hold, another all too familiar demon from this hell tears the bat off his left side. Steve’s mouth drops open to cry out at the pain of it, but no sound escapes. He’s sure he’ll die from lack of air before the demodog can eat him instead and decides he’s at least thankful for that.

A sickening squelch sounds right above his head before the pressure is suddenly released from his neck. The black spots clear after a few gasping breaths, but Steve thinks he must have died anyway because the next thing he sees as his vision returns is Billy Hargrove’s face.

“Billy?!” He barely whispers, doesn’t even feel the pain in his throat as he looks up at the familiar stranger staring back at him. It’s Billy, somehow alive, but so different; his hair tied back and displaying his more angular features, sharp hardened eyes with black shadows lining them. He’s lean, nothing but muscle and grit, looking angry but unafraid with an axe in his hand.

Billy reaches down to grab Steve’s arm, pulling him up to his feet, and before Steve can revel too much at the contact, he remembers the demodog and turns to find it tearing into another hellbat.

“Is Max alive?” Billy asks gruffly, ignoring the chaos around them and Steve jolts at the sound of his voice after having to live so long without it.

“What?” He asks, foggy brain struggling to keep up, and Billy reaches out his other hand to steady him when he sways to the side.

“Max,” Billy repeats, voice hard but urgent, eyes tense and focused. “I saw-”

“Billy?!” Another familiar voice cuts through the static in Steve’s head and he turns to find Nancy, Robin and Eddie ten feet away and frozen in shock.

Steve’s eyes meet Robin’s and she knows - her eyes widening as she takes in the two of them standing together, Billy’s hands still on Steve’s arms, before her face crumples into something like sad happiness for her best friend.

Steve’s not processing a thing until Nancy’s eyes zero in on the demodog, raising the oar Steve must have dropped and starting to charge but Billy steps into her path, whistling sharply and pointing to the ground beside his foot. The demodog immediately obeys, sitting next to Billy and ready for another command. The group stares in shock but Steve wants to laugh because of course, of course only a wild thing like Billy could figure out how to tame a wild thing like that.

“Dude, didn’t you die?” Eddie asks, and before anyone can respond, there’s a shriek from an incoming flock of hellbats. They all tense but the bats circle around the opening to the gate instead of attacking. The demodog seems to chitter in warning and Billy looks up, the rest following suit and finding a much larger amount of bats coming their way.

“Follow me,” Billy says darkly, whistling again before taking off at a run towards the woods with the demodog at his side.

“What the fuck -” Eddie says but follows after glancing back up at the sky and deciding the better option was following a living ghost. Robin has to grab Steve’s arm to get him to move and they’re all running until they stop at Skull Rock because of course Billy knows where it is.

They quickly make their way under the rock, finding cover and waiting for the coast to be clear. Billy takes Steve by the shoulders again and maneuvers him to sit against the rock. He takes off the backpack he’s carrying and digs around before pulling out gauze and tape - first aid supplies.

“How is this possible?” Nancy asks quietly, watching like a hawk as Billy inspects Steve’s wounds, and Steve thinks there’s no point because he’ll probably just die from shock.

“I’ll answer all your questions, but I need to know about Max. Is she alive?” Billy demands, his eyes only leaving Steve’s abdomen for a second to meet hers with an intensity Steve had missed every single goddamn day. “I don’t know how to explain it but I felt… a rift? And when I got to the graveyard I heard her yelling out, but before I could get to her she just… disappeared, and I -”

“She’s okay,” Nancy tells him, her fierce and curious eyes begging for an answer and with her and Billy standing in the same place Steve can pinpoint exactly why he fell for them both.

Billy lets out a breath of relief before his eyes meet Steve’s, something completely unreadable in his expression and Steve wants to scream because there’s so much, so much, but it’s not the time or place and nothing is making any goddamn sense anymore but he wants to cry because he never really came to terms with Billy being gone and now here he was, alive and breathing, and looking at him with those blue eyes that never missed a thing.

“This is going to hurt,” he tells Steve, and barely gives him a second before pouring antiseptic onto the wounds and Steve grunts at the pain, relieved to feel something sharper than the hurricane inside his head and heart, but it still hurts like a bitch. Billy places the gauze and tape before wrapping a bandage around Steve’s midsection and reaching back into his bag to retrieve an extra shirt. Nancy’s explaining the details of what the group knew so far in terms of the Upside Down to Robin and Eddie while Steve’s been permanently dumbfounded into silence.

“Is that thing… safe?” Eddie asks, and Steve looks over to find him and the demodog staring each other down, or at least they would be if the creepy fucking thing had any eyes. And it’s not until then that Steve notices there’s something else wrong with its face, one of the petal-like sides had been ripped clean off and left it with the side of its mouth partially open. “What’s wrong with its… face?”

“Kreuger won’t hurt you,” Billy responds, zipping his bag up and tossing it back on before checking if the coast is clear. And again Steve wants to laugh and maybe cry; Billy and his fucking horror movies. “He’s an outcast too, we stick together. Come on, we need to move. This place… it can sense your presence.”

“What we need is guns,” Robin responds and Steve can’t look at her because he’s raw and she knows everything. “We should ransack the police station! I’m sure they have grenades and shit, all the guns we need?”

“No guns,” Billy responds, reaching out an arm and pulling Steve up to his feet yet again. “Too loud; attracts more of them. Come on, I’ve got a stash of weapons we can use.”

Billy’s moving before anyone can protest, seeming to know this place way too fucking well, and before too long Steve realizes where they’re headed.

The group runs up the driveway to Steve’s family home and Billy lets them into the house, his demodog running ahead and Eddie’s the last one in, shutting the door behind him and leaning against it.

“Yeah, so where are we?” He asks, because he’s the only one who’s never been there before and Steve watches, fascinated, as Billy seems to let out a breath and some tension releases from his shoulders. He couldn’t possibly think…?

“Steve’s,” Nancy answers, watching Billy just as closely before her eyebrows raise in surprise and she seems to put it together. Steve has to look away when her eyes try to meet his.

“This way,” Billy says, not offering any form of explanation as he leads them upstairs to Steve’s bedroom.

Steve looks around in confusion as his childhood bedroom sits there, mostly untouched apart from the items Billy had obviously been stockpiling and the relatively clean bed Billy must have cleared up.

“Wait…” Steve says, speaking for the first time in what feels like ages, and Billy can’t seem to look at him now. “How is this possible?”

Nancy’s looking around in confusion too before moving towards the desk, grabbing a sweater she must have left there ages ago and meeting Steve’s questioning eyes with her own.

“What do you mean?” Billy asks, eyes on the sweater with a look of familiar disdain. 

“I moved into an apartment last August,” Steve tells him - well, tells the floor because meeting Billy’s eyes isn’t an option right now. He couldn't tell him how impossible it was to live in this room when it still smelled like Billy and so many of their memories haunted the space. “All this stuff shouldn’t be here.”

“This shouldn’t be here either,” Nancy confirms, eyes searching the desk and starting to sort through the discarded papers. “You gave it back years ago.”

“Wait, I…” Billy starts, looking up at Nancy with new clarity. “That makes sense, actually. When I went to my house none of our stuff was there, I thought everyone had moved out… Maybe we just hadn’t moved in? And the mall, I thought it had burned down but maybe it just hadn’t been finished being built?”

“We’re in the past,” Nancy concludes, holding up a couple incomplete school assignments dated two years ago, eyes alight with the new discovery and Steve just wants to lay down.

“Back to more pressing issues,” Robin prompts, looking to Billy expectantly, and Nancy opens her mouth to protest but stops herself, too curious not to find out too.

Billy sighs, leaning against the wall beside Steve’s old window, eyes keeping watch as he takes a deep breath, his demodog settling down on the floor beside him. “I don’t remember that much of it, to be honest. I remember that I… hurt people. Hurt Max and her friends. Hurt others. It felt like a bad dream until the end. El? That’s what you all call her? She pulled me out, and I remember thinking… at least I can do this. Save her. Try to stop what I’d started. And I remember the pain… I remember the cold floor, I remember Max and -” he cuts himself off but Steve and Robin both knew what he was about to say because Steve had been there. Had bolted down from the second floor but hadn’t made it in time. Had to watch as the raging fire that was Billy Hargrove fizzled out to nothing.

Steve blinks hard, jaw clenched as he tries to repress the memory scorched into his mind and every nightmare. He feels Robin take his hand quietly, supporting him the best she can while everyone’s attention is on Billy.

“When I woke up, I thought I was in a hospital. They’d patched me up and there were all sorts of monitors, but it was… strange. No windows. No other people. I didn’t realize I was locked in until I finally had the strength to get out of bed. And then there were these… tests. Experiments. They realized I had some sort of connection to this place and wanted to exploit it. I figured no one knew I was alive, or at least if they did, they’d have no idea where to find me. I was stuck. I have no idea how long I was there. And then one day, they wanted to try something else. They sent me through a gate and I figured it was my only chance. So I cut the cord, ditched the tracker and took off.”

“You’ve been living here all this time?” Nancy asks softly, unbelievingly.

“Hell of a choice I had,” Billy scoffs, but the bitterness isn’t directed at any of them. “Either be a prisoner here or there. At least here I’ve been free.”

“Why didn’t you try to come back?” Steve tries to demand, finally speaking again only to have his voice break on the last word. Billy’s eyes snap up to his and Robin’s hand squeezes tight.

Billy’s jaw clenches, eyebrows coming together briefly before he swallows. “I only knew one way in and out. And like I said, it wasn’t much of a choice.”

“But if you were here, I never…” felt you, Steve wants to say but stops himself. As if it isn’t obvious enough to the rest of them now, but he’d promised forever ago that it would always be their secret. Robin already knew too much and Steve lets the guilt of betraying that promise chew at him now.

“You said yourself you moved out,” Billy reminds him gently, arms crossing against his chest and Steve wishes they could be alone right now. Wishes he could close the space between them and wrap his arms around the other boy. “There’s no real sense of time here. How… how long has it been?"

Steve looks down at the floor, tears threatening to spill and feels Nancy’s eyes on him before she turns to answer Billy. “It’s late March. Almost nine months since Starcourt.”

There’s a long silence before Billy speaks again. “It was quiet for a while. I think they were right; I’m connected to this place somehow. I can feel changes. I knew something was happening and I tried to keep a lookout for any signs. Max was the first person I’d seen… I felt another rift and thought maybe it was her coming through again, that’s how I was at the lake in time.”

“Thank you,” Robin says, hand squeezing once again as she looks at Billy with her chin raised high and tears threatening her eyes. “For saving him.”

Billy looks from her to their entangled hands and back again before nodding. His gaze returns to the window for a moment before he sighs and stands up straight. “We’ve got to get you guys out of here.”

“What?” Steve chokes, because he can’t mean what Steve thinks he means.

“Whatever my connection is, it seems to camouflage me for the most part. I just lay low and I’ve been able to get by okay. But it knows you’re here. I can feel it. You’re not safe.”

“Billy -” Steve starts and Nancy opens her mouth to protest too.

“Harrington -” Billy tries, but Steve isn’t having it.

“Can you guys give us a minute?” He asks tightly, and there’s barely a second of pause before Robin grabs Nancy and Eddie, leaving the room and it’s too quiet.

“Do you have any idea what it’s been like?” Steve demands quietly, tears finally spilling and he’s shaking with anger and sadness; a million feelings swelling up in his throat. Billy’s jaw clenches and his nostrils flare but he doesn’t look away. “And now I find out I haven’t really lost you, and you want to send me away?”

“That’s not -”

“There is no way in hell I am leaving this goddamn place without you, Billy Hargrove.”

“I can’t go back,” Billy says, shaking his head with finality. “Not after what I’ve done.”

“That wasn’t you, Billy!” Steve tries to tell him. “Everyone knows that. Max has been a wreck without you! I’ve been -”

Billy looks up at Steve, waiting for the rest, but Steve can’t talk. Steve can barely hold himself together. “I watched you die.” He whispers instead, arms wrapping around himself in a last ditch effort to keep from falling apart.

“Stevie,” Billy says softly, taking a step towards him and Steve can’t breathe.

“All that wasted time last summer,” Steve lets out a watery, bitter laugh. “You were so scared of your old man finding out and I was so hurt you were staying away… I didn’t even know you were flayed. I saw you follow Heather into the locker rooms one day when I came to try to convince you to talk to me and I just figured…” Steve’s laughing but it hurts, his hands reaching up to press into eyes that won’t stop crying. “It was so stupid. I was jealous and the whole time you were… I wasn’t there. I didn’t know and I wasn’t there for you. And then it was too late. I hated myself, I…”

“Steve,” Billy says again, this time from right in front of Steve. His hands drop to his sides and Billy pulls him into his arms. Steve’s falling apart in earnest now and Billy’s the only thing keeping him upright. The guilt and sadness and confusion eating him alive because none of it has ever been fair. All the time they spent hiding and meeting in secret. All the time they spent apart because of miscommunications and the opinions of people who never really mattered. Not when what they had was the most real thing they had ever known. “It’s not your fault. I got scared and left you again when I said I wouldn’t. There was no way you could have known anything different was happening.”

“Billy, I can’t” Steve cries, shaking because it’s all too much. “I can’t lose you again, I can’t take it. Please. You have to come home.”

Billy squeezes him tighter, and it hurts his wounded sides but Steve wouldn’t mind if Billy crushes him into dust at this point. He presses his nose into the side of Steve’s head and inhales for a long moment before letting out a sigh. “How are we gonna do this, Stevie? Everyone thinks I’m dead. And what if the people from the lab find me?”

“We’ll go to California like we always talked about or I’ll hide you under my goddamn bed, I don’t care. We’ll figure it out. You’re coming home with me. If not for yourself, then for me. For Max. We need you, Billy. You’ve suffered enough.” Steve pulls away, determination making him strong because this time he’s going to fight. He wasn’t going to let Billy run away or continue paying a price way too high for all the wrongs he’d tallied against himself. He wasn’t going to let Billy sentence himself to isolation, nor was he ever going to lose him again.

Billy Hargrove had died abused, scared, confused, alone, but still used his final act to save everyone he could in that moment. Steve was going to make damn sure he got to start finally living a life he deserved after all that sacrifice. And it sure as hell wasn’t going to happen here.

Billy presses his forehead to Steve’s, fighting the tug of a smile as his hands move up to either side of Steve’s neck, holding him close. “I’ve fucking missed you, Harrington. Kinda figured you’d have moved on by now.”

“You’re an idiot, Hargrove,” Steve tells him before pushing forward, lips meeting Billy’s for the first time in too long and it feels like he can finally breathe again. “Let’s get you home.”

[imperishable-prayers]

(I SERIOUSLY TYPED SOMETHING OUT FOR HOURS AGAIN, HUH)

Marisa remembers having grown up with her parents. Parents as in… many. She’s been given off to different people every year until she was 6. Only one was rude, but most just didn’t have the ability to take care of her any more after just a year. She can’t remember who was truly her actual parents.

By the 6th time she had been dropped out of care, she wasn’t really sure what to do. From all she experienced, it felt like no one wanted to take care of her. And thus, she had the idea.

…What if she tried taking care of herself?

Thus, began her first try at taking care of herself so she didn’t make people bother trying to take care of her, starting by living in a old, abandoned wooden house! Over a year and a half, she would try and fix it up and make the inside look nice with whatever she could find, even if it came to stealing, as much as she didn’t truly want to at first. She’d also find books about magic and things surrounding it that made her really interested in it, but she could never really get whatever magic she tried to do to work.

Close to the events of Story of Eastern Wonderland, turning 8, one day, while she had been lost in the books of magic she had piled up, she noticed someone randomly appeared in her home, looking like they were taking refuge to plan out something after being sealed once. This was Mima.

After a good amount of back-and-forth talk between the two about different things, she was able to convince her into teaching her more about magic.

She treated Mima as someone to look up to, and yet, since she basically kept staying in the house she was in, she kept seeing her as a parent to her.

Once the events of Story of Eastern Wonderland had begun, she was practically loyal towards Mima, following whatever she wanted her to do in this plan of hers, which involved, of course, stopping Reimu. With the lack of a broom to fly on, she substituted on using a huge flower and the stem on it as something to sit on.

By the end of the event, Mima had been sealed up again and for a month, Marisa had went back to being alone. She held a grudge on Reimu for this, not visiting her at all in the month alone. She was more busy mourning the thought of never seeing Mima again.

If Mima didn’t think to reappear at her house after breaking out of her seal, Marisa probably would not have given Reimu a chance and a friendship likely wouldn’t have blossomed between the two. The fact that Mima is someone that had actually come back to her and wasn’t someone that took care of her that she would never see again made her absolutely ecstatic. She’d sometimes accidentally call her mom by this point.

In the months before Phantasmagoria of Dim.Dream, she wondered about her crimson red hair. She wasn’t sure what parent of hers had red hair and the more she thought about it, the more she realized that she wanted to try and be different in a way. Look like she’s evolved from being some girl that didn’t know magic. How else than by changing her hair color from crimson red to something more closer to gold yellow with a spell?

Otherwise, the only notable things to mention during the events of Phantasmagoria of Dim.Dream was that she was given a broom to test flying with thanks to Mima, became friends with Ellen, despite hardly seeing her much thanks to not knowing where she lives, and getting her first pet, Mimi-chan, a ballistic missile! Yes, Mima didn’t care that her pet was a ballistic missile, she just told her that pets can explode and to make sure it doesn’t explode. Good thing she didn’t really know how to use her then.

Close to the time that Lotus Land Story would take place, turning 9, she noticed that Mima would be appearing in her home less and less.

Asking about this one day, she had learned that she didn’t really have much else to teach Marisa about. She had goals she wanted to tackle by herself. That being that, she wanted to tackle on getting vengeance against humans… but she also soon said that she just wanted to do something else with her life as a spirit, and wasn’t sure about continuing a lifestyle of being a mentor to someone.

Marisa would be rather sad over the idea of being alone again, but the comfort of hearing that she will visit her every once in a while made sure that she’d look forward to seeing her in her home again. She wanted to make sure to surprise Mima whenever she came back by getting more well-versed in magic.

Otherwise, by the end of the events of Lotus Land Story, she would get visits from Yuuka as an offset to Mima not being home with her, reason being that she was curious about her.

By the events of Mystic Square, she was close to becoming 10. Not much to mention, other than her, meeting and becoming interested in Alice and Shinki. In a way, she’s jealous of Alice, because of how she basically had one parent she stuck with for her life. It annoys her that Alice’s life seemed better than hers, but she would never tell her that. Not when it seems like Alice tries to avoid her, which… fair. She did kinda come to Makai and beat up her mom for no reason.

[whenihaveyouromione]

When I Have You - Chapter 78

Read on Fanfiction.net or ao3 if you'd prefer!

---

Chapter 78

The wardrobe in their bedroom had become a dumping ground for them. Well, for Ron more so than Hermione, who was naturally a very neat person. Over the years of being in the house, he’d managed to accumulate a lot of things that he’d gradually thrown in there as it was somewhere to put them.

The important things sat on the table beside where he slept — his wand when he didn’t need it and the photo album Hermione had given him as an engagement gift many years ago — but everything else was unceremoniously thrown into the back of the wardrobe behind his clothes. 

He didn’t even know what was behind there anymore, but now after deciding — or, more accurately, Hermione insisting — that he sort through it and get rid of anything he no longer needed, he was finding things he’d forgotten all about. 

There was the old shoebox he’d charmed and used to keep Hermione’s engagement ring in. He’d kept the ring box, too, for some reason, and although his brain told him it was completely unnecessary to keep either, he couldn’t quite bring himself to part with the ring box. It was just a box, but it held a lot of value to him still. Not only had it contained the ring that he’d given to his now wife, it had been his first real purchase as an adult. Well, the first significant one. And the one that meant the most to him. 

He also discovered a whole bunch of actual shoe boxes, which he did dispose of. There were also parts of reports from work, training notes, clothes he had forgotten all about. He found the letters he’d written to Hermione while she completed her final year at Hogwarts and set them beside the ring box in the never to throw out pile he was accumulating. He wasn’t sure he’d ever read them again, but they were letters filled with I love yous and other things that were far too special to go in the garbage. 

Usually, he wasn’t a sentimental person, but with her, he always had been and had come to accept that about himself. She was the best part of his life and he wanted to remember every moment spent with her. Maybe one day, when he was old, he’d lose his memory and these things would be the only things he had to remember the life that he’d created with her. 

He was just about finished when he discovered amongst the remainder of junk, a tiny wrapped gift box.

At first, he had no idea what it was. Finding a wrapped gift at the back of his wardrobe was unusual to him — he opened everything he was ever given almost immediately. And he definitely hadn't forgotten to give Hermione a present… right?

When he touched it, a memory suddenly came back to him, and he sat back, staring at the box in his hand. The gift Hermione had given him when they lost the baby. He had had every intention of opening it at first. He’d kept it with the album and wand, but after a few days of constantly seeing it and knowing she’d bought it with the idea that they were going to have a baby, he’d put it away to deal with later.

And then he’d forgotten all about it. She had never even asked him if he’d opened it. 

But there it was, sitting in his hand, another reminder about what had happened. It seemed that every time he tried to move on, something always came back to prevent it. The topic of losing the baby had been fresh again, too, after their visit to the Burrow, and seeing this box felt like a kick while he was already down. 

They were trying again, and he was happy about that, but it didn’t feel like last time. Despite the months of disappointment, there had always been hope that one day it would happen. Always an element of excitement with each passing month to elevate the previous disappointment. But now, there was grief and dread mixed in. There was a fear that he’d not felt last time — a fear of what happened to their baby happening again. He didn't want to admit it, but sometimes, now, he was relieved when Hermione said the tests were negative.

He hated that feeling just as much as any other, because the desire within him to have a baby, to be a father, was still so strong it consumed him. He was more than ready for this step in their lives — he wanted to have a child or children, he wanted to love them, to do everything for them. He wanted to be that person who took them to King’s Cross when they turned eleven and wave to them until the train disappeared. He wanted to take them to Diagon Alley and get them their wand, an owl, to buy them ice-cream. He wanted this more than he’d ever wanted to become an Auror or win an Order of Merlin award. And for some reason, it seemed to be the hardest one for him to achieve. He was an Auror, he had the award, and in that moment, they felt so insignificant he would have gladly given both up if it meant they could get their baby back. 

He was still staring at the box when Hermione came in. 

“Did you get lost in everything you found?” she asked, smiling. “I thought you’d be done within minutes.” She sat down on the bed, and Ron turned to face her. 

“What’s that?” she asked, her eyes falling on the box. It took her only a moment to understand. Her smile vanished. 

“I never opened it,” he whispered. “I… couldn’t. And then… then I forgot about it.”

She sat there, not speaking, but her eyes were fixed on the gift she'd so lovingly put together months ago now. 

They really were doing well, but it was little reminders like this that still sometimes made it difficult. 

"Should I open it?" he asked after a moment. He looked up at her, searching her eyes for anything that would tell him what to do. He felt lost, confused. What if what was inside brought everything back again? What if he was taken back to that afternoon where he’d come home excited to tell her about his successful mission and found her crying in bed, still in the same clothes from when he’d left? He had no idea what was in there, but what if it was clothes, so small to fit a baby he’d never get to hold? 

At first, Hermione didn't answer. But then, she came over to him and knelt on the floor beside him and nodded. "I think you should.”

Ron wanted to ask why. Did he really need to? Was it that important that he needed to be reminded of what they would never have? Why had he even suggested opening it in the first place?

But there was a part of him that desperately wanted to know what was inside. There was a part of him that wanted to be reminded — so he'd never forget. 

Maybe, he thought, it could help process the grief he couldn't shake. Maybe. 

"Do you want to?" Hermione asked gently. She reached out and touched his hand and hers closed around it. 

Ron shook his head. "I don't know."

"It was as much your baby as it was mine," she said. "You need to deal with this, too, and I know you haven't. Not properly."

“What do you mean ‘not properly?’” Ron asked. “I’ve cried, I’ve been angry… I’ve been by your side the whole time.”

“And you being by my side has helped me in more ways than you could ever imagine, but it’s time to do that for yourself, too. To finally seek that closure.”

“I have closure,” Ron insisted.

Hermione’s expression was gentle. “Do you? Fully?”

Ron didn’t speak. He just stared down at the box in his hand. 

Yes, he told himself. I have accepted it. I have.

Maybe. 

"And this will help?" he asked after a moment. "Seeing this?"

She shrugged. "It's something you'll still be able to keep. Forever. No matter what happens."

"What is it?" he asked. 

"See for yourself." Her tone was soft and gentle. 

Ron looked at the box for another moment, wrapped in white with a yellow bow, debating over what to do. He hadn't expected to find it and it had thrown his morning. It had been a good morning, finding the ring box and all the happy memories. He realised now that he still wasn't fully ready to move on. 

Shaking his head, he set it down in the discard pile. "Maybe some things are better left unknown," he said, a lump forming in his throat.

Coward.

Hermione watched him do it without reacting. He wondered what she was thinking. 

After a moment, she kissed him, smiling. Her eyes then drifted to the much smaller pile of things he intended to keep. She picked up the empty ring box. "Are you planning on needing this again?" 

Ron laughed, glad for the sudden change of topic. He tried not to look at the gift and watched her instead. "I hope not. Seeing it just reminded me of our past, and everything we did to get to the point we are at now."

"I thought the real thing would be a better reminder," Hermione said, holding up her left hand. 

"Oh, it is," Ron assured her. "It's just… I'm fond of it. I'm fond of how it happened — on this very floor we are on now, to be precise. That's all. I want to keep it."

"You keep a box, but not all your Auror notes." She picked up a stack of parchment, her eyes scanning the discarded papers. 

"Ron! These are reports."

"Relax, would you?" Ron said, snatching the papers from her. "They're discarded ones. Ones I started over and rewrote. Don't worry, I'm not skiving on my workload. As for the Auror notes? Why do I need them anymore? I know how to be an Auror, I know all the spells, all the moves."

"And if you forget one day?" Hermione questioned.

"I ask the abundance of other Aurors I sit feet away from to remind me."

Hermione glared at him, but when she apparently couldn't find any fault in his logic, she allowed him to put the stack back in the pile that was going in the rubbish.

"That's what's hiding up the back on your side, isn't it?" Ron asked after a moment, biting back a laugh.

"What is?" Hermione questioned.

"All our school exams, everything you ever wrote down. I bet you kept it all, down to the notes you took in History of Magic."

Hermione refused to answer, which was enough answer for Ron. 

He chuckled, looking her in the eye and grinning. "I've never loved you more," he said, this time pulling her in for a kiss. 

"I have other things there, too," she said after a moment.

"Like?" Ron began to gather up the things he was keeping and put them back. 

"Like every letter you ever sent me. Even the ones you wrote when you were eleven, all the way to the ones you wrote me when I went back to Hogwarts. I kept them all, and they’re really special to me."

"Really?" Ron asked, surprised. He only had ones she’d written when they were together. 

“Yes.” She smiled. “Maybe even then I knew we’d get married one day, because I really don’t think I kept every letter Harry wrote me.”

“Well… that’s sweet,” Ron said. “I never knew.”

“Well, now you do.”

Ron was thoughtful for a moment, and then asked, “What else do you have?”

Her eyes widened, apparently under the impression that he’d be satisfied with her answer of his letters. But he wanted to know, mostly just to annoy her, but partly because he was curious.

"I don't know… just… important things, I guess. Things that mean something."

"You're not going to tell me?" Ron asked.

"They're personal." She turned faintly red and Ron smiled. 

"Alright. As long as they're all things from me, and not any other blokes who sent you love letters or anything like that."

"Who else is going to send me love letters?” Hermione asked vaguely. "I’ve kept things from you, and maybe a few things from my parents, and all the Hogwarts stuff. That’s basically it.”

Ron felt extremely curious to know what she'd kept from their relationship, but he also knew she'd never forgive him if he snooped. They kept their relationship pretty open, so if she didn't want to tell him then he knew it must have been something important to her. He just couldn't remember all the things he'd given her in the past for him to even begin to try and guess. 

A thought then occurred to him. “Did anyone else ever send you love letters?”

“What?”

“Did anyone else?” Ron pressed. “You know… like Krum? Did he ever do that?”

“No,” Hermione answered quickly, and Ron wasn’t sure whether to believe her.

“You’re lying,” he said. “You can tell me, you know. We’re married now, I don’t care anymore. I’m just curious… I know you wrote to him.”

For the longest moment, she didn’t respond, and then she shook her head. “Not really. He always liked me more than I liked him. And,” she said before Ron could respond, “he understood that and respected that. All he said was that he was interested in me, and I said while I thought he was nice, I didn’t return any feelings. That’s honestly it.”

“Is that when he stopped writing?” Ron asked.

“Our lives dictated that more than anything else,” Hermione confessed. “You don’t really have time for letter writing when you’re out searching for Horcruxes. And, we didn’t exactly have a lot in common.” She frowned, looking at Ron. “Why are you asking?”

He shrugged. “I’m just curious. You never really talked about him.”

“I was under the impression you didn’t want to talk about that.”

He shrugged again. “Well, as I said, I don’t care anymore. I know you love me.”

“Oh, really?” 

“Of course! I know you very well, and under no circumstances would you ever willingly choose to have a baby with someone you didn’t love and trust entirely.”

She gave a small laugh. “So, after all our time together, all the things we’ve done, that’s what finally convinced you?”

“Nah, I’ve known for a while. So, did you snog Krum?”

“Ron!”

“Did you?”

“I refuse to answer that question,” Hermione said, gathering everything in his discard pile into her arms. “Let me take these out for you.”

“I thought we told each other everything,” Ron called after her. “Your silence tells me that you did.” He watched her leave, smiling at the banter and thankful for the distraction. It was just what he’d needed in that moment to forget about the box. 

The box! She’d taken it with her. He felt a prickle of guilt now that it was gone, but he'd made up his mind. He didn't want to know. 

He finished packing everything away and then made his way back downstairs where Hermione was just coming back in from the bin outside. She smiled at him, which he returned. 

“So,” he began, wrapping his arms around her waist and thinking it wise to not continue their previous conversation, “are you glad I finally bothered to do some cleaning?”

“Of that? Yes. We were running out of room.”

“Yeah, but you do know that now that we have all that space, I’m just going to toss more junk in there, right?”

She reached up and kissed him. “I know,” she said. “But at least you no longer have a stack of half-finished reports sitting back there.”

“Among other things?” Ron guessed.

She didn’t answer, instead pulling away. “I’m going to have a shower. Can you start on dinner?”

Ron nodded and waited for her to leave before heading into the kitchen. He was just thinking about what he was going to cook tonight, when something stopped him. He spotted it from the corner of his eye, carefully placed by the fruit bowl.

The tiny little box stared back at him, this time accompanied by a small note from Hermione, which read: For closure.

She was sneaky. And so smart. She’d known that even on the short journey downstairs, a sliver of regret had crept into him about deciding not to keep it.  

He looked over his shoulder, half expecting her to be standing behind him, but he was alone. She’d left him alone to deal with this. 

He picked it up. Suddenly, he realised that it wasn't about what was inside. He didn't care what she'd actually given him. It was about accepting the fact that what they'd had, they'd lost. This was another reminder of that. Right now, he had the hope needed to try again, the hope that one day they might still get to have their own children. 

What if seeing the gift intended to celebrate fatherhood dampened that hope?. 

Yet, maybe Hermione was right. Maybe whatever was in there would finally help him to let go, to actually stop going through the motions of trying again and to want to do it. He wanted a baby more than anything, but he did not want to lose them. He didn't want to see Hermione lose herself, or to feel so helpless like he had been. He didn't want to feel such loss ever again, and yet he knew that neither of them had any control over it. 

So lost in thought was he, that he startled when Hermione appeared again beside him, already showered and cleaned up for the night. He'd promised to cook dinner, but he hadn't even started. 

She was beside him then, her hand covering his and the box. 

“We’ll do it together,” she whispered. 

He nodded, blinking away tears he hadn't realised were there. 

Then, together, they pulled at the yellow ribbon that had been neatly tied around it. It fell to the bench. 

His heart pounding in his chest, he lifted the lid, never feeling more frightened than he did right then. He couldn’t stop himself from knowing that whatever was inside the box, something Hermione had bought in her excitement. She’d bought something to give him when she thought she was sharing good news with him. 

“It’s okay,” she encouraged, helping him to completely remove the lid. 

Ron stared inside for a moment, and then he lifted out something the same size and shape as a Snitch.

But this wasn’t a Snitch. He turned it over in his hand, a small light glowing from within. And then he saw three letters come into focus.

D A D.

He closed his eyes, feeling the tears again, but this time it was Hermione who held him. He gripped the ball in his palm as her arms wrapped around him. Seeing it, feeling the weight of the gift, Ron finally felt relief mix into his grief. 

“One day,” Hermione said softly, “it’ll make sense.”

He clasped the ball in his hand even harder, letting the tears fall. He finally believed those words, though it still stung. “I just wish it made sense now,” he whispered. 

“Me too.” Hermione pulled away, reaching out to wipe the tears from his face. The palm of her hand rested on his cheek and she smiled sadly at him. “I love you,” she said. 

He nodded, but for the first time ever, he didn’t say it back. Not because he didn’t feel it, but because he knew he didn’t have to.

[wiw3]

The Sudden Realization That I’m Worse Off Than I Thought; A Day Late, Apology Short

Hey... so you remember how I was struggling pretty heavily with drug-addiction for the earlier part of this year and acted like everything was okay on them because they made me feel like everything was okay without having to earn it? Yeah... I’m almost convinced that it was the direct cause of my psychotic, friendship-ending mental break... I know it wasn’t the sole cause, but a cocktail of that, losing everything good in your life, and pre-existing mental conditions... I’m not surprised it happened, anymore...

The problem with recognizing that schism is that I’ve already accepted responsibility for it as a choice I consciously made. It felt different than my last... suicidal rant. I felt more... conscious. I felt more in control, despite knowing that I was firing a gun with an excruciatingly-high fire-rate, I kept firing. I’ve been a person who hasn’t compromised on his ideals. I’m trying to find the catalyst for what caused me to really fire off...

I’ve landed on withdrawal, since I’d basically been high for the last five months prior to this one. May 30th was the day I ran out, and regular supply stopped being a thing, so I told myself I’d quit cold turkey. The idea of this substance being the catalyst for my ability to say some of the most cruel things I’ve ever said to another human being is enough to bring me to tears in it’s own right.

I hate the idea of feeling so powerless over it, but I’m hoping once my brain stops craving it, I’ll be okay... I mentioned during my tirade considering stealing my father’s prescription Oxycodone medication for his back surgery, (which I never did, but the thought crossed my mind when the pain was getting unbearable in my head.) and how mentally declined I really had become, relapsing and backsliding into something I couldn’t control.

I’m getting more and more of a grip every day, but I know that last night is the worst light you can ever see another human being in, and I am ashamed and sorry to each and every one of my friends, for allowing myself to be seen like that, and more importantly for behaving the way I did, especially to someone who’s only ever come to me with love in their heart. And now I’m crying again, but it’s my fault, so I’m not going to make it anyone’s problem.

I’m going to log off for a while, I don’t deserve a journal to vent to if I use it to vent about me being so cruel and then regretting it. That’s not fair, it’s betraying you, your desire to read this, my friends, the love I have for them... It’s undercutting my belief in my own sanity, clarity, and image.

I’m back to just wanting everything to feel okay, even though I know it won’t. I’m reverted to that copacetic, writhing mass that won’t stop fidgeting. The pile of sludge that isn’t okay unless everyone around me is okay, and I’m even less okay if the everyone around me are miserable due to something I’ve done, and this time it is, because I have, and my brain is melting down because of it.

I’ve lost all indignance, I’ve lost all irritation, I’ve been reduced to my basest elements, which is just a guy who wants other people to like him, and I don’t know how to get there, anymore. What I thought was mania has an excruciatingly-painful case for simply being “withdrawal”, and I can’t go back and try to explain that, now... I can’t go back with my tail between my legs like that, not because I don’t think I’ll be believed (but hear me when I say that I’ve accepted the consequences of not being believed), but because I chose to get hooked on it. Everything that has happened is a direct result of my selfish choices, wanting everything to feel okay, but valuing that feeling above everyone else actually being okay, is not okay.

The logging-off thing might be a lie, because this is the only place where there’s a chance someone hears me screaming into the void, and if I didn’t socialize like this (which is to say, the bare minimum), I wouldn’t do anything social, I haven’t been outside in weeks.... and I just threw my last real source of love into the garbage... I miss them, but it’s my fault they’re gone... This is consuming me. More later, maybe.

[levi-my-beloved]

Oooo I have a request where reader is a scout and she has been with levi for a few years, then one day she gets lost during a mission and everyone assumes she’s dead (levi never gives up hope) but she was actually taken to marley. when levi and the gang go to marley before erens attack he ends up seeing her and tries to make her come with them but her memories are gone so she has no idea who he is or what hes talking about. Hope this is okay!

Til Death Do Us Part (Part One)

Pairing: Canon!Levi x F!Reader

Word Count: 6K

Warnings: Canon typical violence, grief, brief mention of self harm thoughts

A/N: did i have to look at an old post of mine to remember my formatting? yes, yes i did, it's been that long since i've posted ajkdibfiebgbeik.

ANON! i hope you don't mind me taking a few creative liberties with this, because the concept has me actually frothing at the mouth. like you've inspired a two, maybe three parter long fic which has been stuck in my head for MONTHS NOW! please i have such ideas for the next few parts but, i hope you enjoy part one!

Part 2

Tagging: @maries-gallery (there you are sweets)

Signature for a funding request? Done. Levi mentally crossed off one of the endless tasks on his list of things to do tonight. He’d had very little time recently, with Eren being kidnapped, finding out Kenny the Ripper was his uncle, Historia’s coronation, and now Erwin’s plan to take back Wall Maria. Paperwork had been stacking up, most noticeably the letters to families of the dead. There were times he felt like he was just repeating himself, each note feeling more and more insincere as the words ‘I regret to inform you’ burned in his mind, and for a man with no regrets, he sure as shit had to write about a lot of them. Levi didn’t know how much longer he would do this specific task tonight, he’d already taken a break to sign off on a few funding requests, training approvals, squad shifts, but now the long, long list of names beckoned him back into his abyss of grief, prompting him to think of all the comrades he’d lost in this seemingly fruitless war.

At least, with Eren’s newfound hardening ability, they actually stood a chance of retaking what was once lost, and that though alone kept Levi going, kept his wrist moving in the repetitive letters of his name. Though his fingers started to cramp, he just wanted to get this one pile done before taking another break to do different work. Four more to go, just four more…

“Need some help?” your voice carried from the doorway between his office and your shared bedroom, and Levi glanced up to where you were standing, leaning against the hardwood frame, your arms crossed over your chest, clad in one of his shirts, in soft disapproval as you watched him work, although your face held nothing but gentle understanding. Levi only realised how terrible his posture was when his back sighed in relief as he straightened up, looking to you as if you’d just offered him a fresh cup of tea, which of course, you were going to.

“You shouldn’t be awake, Corporal,” you chuckled at the use of your title, your feet padding against the floorboards as you walked over to him, your hands instantly travelling to knead his stiff shoulders, smiling delicately as he melted into your touch, posture relaxing against the back of his chair. You stooped to deliver a kiss to the top of his head, your thumbs digging a groan from his throat as you relieved his muscles of tension, inhaling his clean, almost lemony scent from the shampoo he used.

“And you shouldn’t still be working, Captain,” you retorted, your heart swelling as his hand covered your own on his shoulder, taking it to brush your knuckles against his lips, a silent thank you. His absent hum had you stooping, your arms draping down his front as you looked at what he was working on, your brows pinching in aching empathy as your eyes scanned his writing. Letters to the families of the fallen. No wonder he didn’t want to come to bed. “You know you shouldn’t do these so late, you won’t sleep, and we’ll need you tomorrow. More than ever.,” you softly chastised, looking at his face out of the corner of your eye. Levi rolled his own eyes, knowing you were right but not wanting to admit it. Comfort spread throughout his chest as your head rested against his in such a way he could feel your jaw muscles move as you talked.

You two fell into a blanket of silence, content to enjoy the moment of domesticity in a world where death lurks around every corner. He may not say it as often as he knew he should, but Levi was so grateful for you. Ever since you had wandered into his life and completely threw him for a loop, he was so so grateful for you, that you were here, alive, healthy. Still with him, like you had been for five years now. Five of the best, yet most terrifying years of his life. Terrifying because he was so scared of losing you. He was so scared of you dying out there. Of him never being able to say the things he can’t right now, not whilst there was still the danger of either, or both of you dying.

‘Will you marry me?’ was one of those things. One of the things he could never bring himself to ask. He wasn’t scared you would reject him, he was actually more scared of you saying yes. Simply because the thought of losing you having promised ‘til death do us part’ was even more harrowing. And he couldn’t do that. He simply couldn’t. So the silver ring just sits in his desk drawer, the one that needs the key, and has been sitting there for the last seven months.

The absence of your touch brought him back, looking up to see you dragging a chair over to his desk and planting yourself by his side, a spare, black feather pen grasped firmly in your hand as you split the second stack of papers. You always knew what he needed. Even before you two started seeing each other, you would often knock on his door late in the evening to offer your assistance. The first time it happened he thought you were just trying to kiss his ass into giving you a promotion, but it was only until after talking to you did he realise you really didn’t want that.

“I’ll be honest, Sir, the paperwork you have to do is enough to put anybody off that sort of thing. I’m happy where I am now.”

After that he came to expect your nightly visits, often bringing some sort of warm beverage and stolen treats you’d cheekily nicked from the kitchens. He always vowed to one day to dob you in if you continued, tell the cooks exactly where their desserts went, but of course he never did. Turns out Levi has a secret sweet tooth not even he  was aware of. But of course you knew. Somehow. You always knew.

His eyes glanced down to the movement of your pen, noticing how it perfectly mimicked his writing, flawlessly copying his style as the ink seeped into the parchment. The softest smile drew across his lips, before he leaned over, placing a small kiss against your temple. For a moment he thought you were too engrossed in your work to notice, until your other hand crossed over to take his, squeezing gently in gratitude.

Once again that blanket wrapped you in a comfortable silence, the only sounds from either of you being the monotonous scribble of metal quill on paper, the occasional little tink tink of the glass ink pot you shared, steady breaths and soft sighs as one letter became two, two became four and soon the ‘done’ pile started to look just as voluminous as the ‘to-do’ pile. And yet Levi couldn’t take his mind off that ring. That question. His fears. Should he marry you before he lost you? Would it be better to officially declare your dedication to each other before one of you died? Or should he propose after the war was over, when humanity was free from the tyranny of titans and everyday became a little safer? And yet that fucking ring taunted him. Calling him to ask you, to at least consider it with you, until–

“I’m going to marry you.”

The scratching of your pen stopped, as did your breathing. The impact of his words landing a solid hit on your concentration, mercilessly throwing you off rhythm, only for you to land in this new conversation. Struggling to recover, you slowly placed the pen down in fear of dropping it. You didn’t quite know where the tears in your eyes sprung from, which emotion had prompted such a response, but you finally chalked it down to joy. Pure, unadulterated joy.

“Right now? You should have told me, I would have got dressed.” you breathed, not quite having the tone of confident humour you would have liked. But Levi knew your uncontainable smile wasn’t from the little joke you made. He knew your searching eyes weren’t looking for some sort of humorous reaction from him, but rather any sign of deceit or doubt. He let you investigate, knowing you wouldn’t find anything other than his undying devotion to you. Your pupil’s dilating in realisation told him exactly what he’d expected.

Levi reached for your left hand, suddenly finding it difficult to hold your teary gaze as he confessed what had been on his mind lately, his thumb and forefinger gently squeezing and kneading the base of your ring finger, twisting the symbol of your union as if it was already there.

“Everything’s so… uncertain, right now. But with Eren finally proving useful, we might be in with a shot of sealing that fucking wall. Another step closer to ending this godforsaken war. If we make it out the other side, when this war is over… I’m going to marry you. That’s a promise.” when he managed to regain his courage to look you in the eye, his heart skipped a beat. Never had he seen his own emotions reflected quite like how they were now, shining back at him. Never had he seen so much of what he was feeling on somebody else’s face. Though he had seen the way you look at him from time to time, with a love that he was sure he could never match simply because he felt as if he could never love you enough, right now in this moment, knowing it was his words, his sentiment, him that managed to paint your features with the adoration you have now, he felt maybe, just maybe, he could do you justice.

You fumbled for words, trying in vain to think of anything to say back. But when words failed you, when you could do nothing but stare in awe at the man before you, your body acted on instinct. The first brush of your lips against his sent goosebumps down your arms, knowing it was in response to such a lifelong promise. When he opened his mouth for you and helped you onto his lap, that was when you poured everything you couldn't say out loud into his heart. This was where your words went, into your actions.

Your hands tangled in his hair, his own secured your waist. Neither of you wanted to move, neither of you wanted to pull away. Here, in his arms, against his lips, dancing with his tongue, nothing mattered. The world of rancid corpses faded away until it felt like nothing else, nobody else, existed but the two of you. It had always felt like the two of you against the world anyway. Your arms came to wrap around his neck, holding him as close to you as you could whilst you both drowned in each other’s presence, only realising his hands had moved from your waist when you felt his thumbs brush away the tears on your cheeks, pulling back just so he could look you in the eyes. “I take it that’s a yes, then?” the question was rhetorical, of course it was. He knew you would say yes, even though he technically still hadn’t asked you.

“Survive and find out, Ackerman.” you bargained with a teary, cheeky smile, your arms still locked around his neck as your forehead rested against his, closing your eyes in content as you basked in the comfort of his embrace, knowing he had full intentions of officially making you his, and him yours.

“I love you.” It was always a rare, special moment when Levi confesses his adoration for you, when he lets himself be vulnerable enough in front of you to speak his mind and heart. You once again allowed your actions to speak for you, still a little too choked up to come out with a sincere enough response. Tilting your head, you allowed yourself to lean forward further into his embrace, resting your cheek atop the crown of his head, your fingers gently threading through his hair. You knew one of his primary love languages was touch. You’d known this since before you were dating him. One slightly drunken, open conversation filled night, you’d actually managed to get some more personal information out of him. Of course nothing in comparison to what you know now, but more than enough to secure your affection for the ravenette.

“I love you too.” Levi smiled into your neck, knowing you couldn’t see such a soft expression. You smelt like him, in this shirt, using his shower gel, his cleaning products. You belonged to him, and everybody knew it. You belonged with each other. That familiar smouldering warmth engulfed his chest with this knowledge, the knowledge that nobody could take you from him. Nobody could steal you away. You’d be by his side even after the war ended.

If you both survived.

Could things get any worse? Probably not. If you were being totally honest with yourself, you knew this wasn’t going to be a pleasant day. You both did. But neither of you quite expected the literal worst possible scenario.

“We’re fucked.” you breathed, the slight breeze from atop the now sealed wall floated your cape like a flag, the proud flapping of the Scouts insignia simply adding salt to the already rather grave wound. On the one side, the Armoured titan, previously known as Reiner Braun. On the other, whatever fresh hell the Beast titan posed, surrounded by mindless, vile creatures. Up on the wall, Levi to your right, Hange to your left, Erwin beyond that. But with the wind how it was, only Hange heard your quiet lament, their hazel eyes glancing at you from beneath their hood.

“We’ve faced worse,” usually you could count on Hange to clear the air, reassure you with their boundless optimism. But even they couldn’t keep up the façade, from the greyish blue light of the sky, a light that vaguely reminded you of Levi’s irises, you could see the dwindling hope of escape. The harrowing realisation that this was most likely where the Scouts fell. Glancing to Levi at your right, you’re possibly the only person who could discern that same emotion on his unreadable features. The ever so slight crease in his thin brows, the slightly deeper frown. That’s when you knew you were fucked.

You released a breath, watching the condensed cloud evaporate into nothing, much like how you envision your souls in a few moments. Levi, as if sensing your resolve, turned his gaze from the beast before him, to you. But you refused to look at him. You didn’t want him to see you afraid. Not now. He’d seen you scared, when you’d awoken from a nightmare and thrown up the contents of your stomach, shaking and shying away from every soothing touch he tried to provide, but he’d never seen you afraid. However when he took a subtle step back and brushed his hand against yours, it was difficult to avoid much longer. Though you found not sympathy on his face, but understanding. He knew what you were feeling because he’d felt it too. You all had. Hell, even Erwin looked paler than usual, the man who always had a plan. But though his complexion may have drained of colour, he still seemed to be forming some sort of plan. Thank fuck somebody was. Even with that oversized monkey blocking the route for the horses, you were glad the Commander was able to keep a level head. You listened to him talk about the quadrupedal titan, how it must have seen you as you all snuck up under the cover of nightfall, but if you were honest, you weren’t listening very closely. Not until the furball opened it’s jaws and roared, crashing its fist into the ground moments before every single titan under 10m began running full sprint towards you.

With the ever increasing volume of the Armoured titan clambering up the side of the wall, your heart started to beat like a freight train. You were trapped. Surrounded. Certain death in every direction. Once again as if sensing your further distress, Levi locked his little finger around yours. A small display, but one that meant the world to your stuttering heart. He was with you, til the very end. He wouldn’t leave you. You nodded subtly in his direction, letting him know you were alright, before he stepped back up to where he was.

“Are you finally ready to say something? I could have had breakfast during the wait.” you couldn’t help but fondly huff towards the back of his head. A comment that was just so Levi. A perfect blend of no-bullshit blunt humour, even at a time like this. But he was barely graced with a response before Erwin began shouting orders, after what you felt was far too long a wait time.

“Dirk Squad and Marlene Squad! Protect the horses and the gate with Klaus Squad! Levi Squad and Hange Squad, take down the Armoured Titan!” a uniform salute with a chorus of “Yes Sir!” followed, yourself and Levi included. That was until Erwin stopped you in your tracks, calling back your lover’s name but, you noticed, not your’s. Your heart instantly dropped. He couldn’t separate you. He wouldn’t separate you. “I did say Levi Squad, but I need you to stay, Levi.”

Your breathing halted. But when yesterday was prompted by adoration, this was prompted by dread. You understood the reason, even before Erwin explained. You both knew he was the only one who could get to the Beast. The only one who could take it down. But that still didn’t stop the cold pit of bottomless dread opening in your stomach. You looked to Levi, who’s gaze had narrowed to Erwin. He knew the man was right. He knew this was their best shot at victory, but the mere idea of leaving you…

“It’s okay. Go, you’re needed.” you whispered, both you and Erwin sensing his hesitation. The ravenette’s gaze returned back to you once more, instantly softening upon your features, drinking them in as if this was the last time he would see you. You hoped to god that wasn’t true. Respectfully, the Commander turned his back, allowing you two as much privacy as you could afford at a time like this. Only mere seconds before Reiner reached the top of the wall.

Cupping the back of your hooded head in his hand, Levi briefly guided you into his warm embrace, a sudden longing for him gripping your emotions as you buried yourself in his neck, closing your eyes and inhaling his scent as if you were both cuddled up in bed, back home and safe.

He wouldn’t say it now. He couldn’t say it now. As much as he may have wanted to, he couldn’t say I love you. Because that sounded too final. So he settled for the next best thing he could think of.

“Survive.” It was an order. From Captain to Corporal. From superior to subordinate. From lover to lover. It was an order, and you rarely disobeyed. You nodded as you pulled back to look at him, eyes swirling with your reflected determined agony. And once again when words failed you, when you could do nothing but stare at the man before you, you let your actions do the talking, and tugged him down into a searing kiss, your lips moulding instantly, perfectly, against his own. It was brief, a whirlwind of passionate promises, and it was over far too quickly, not even enough time for Levi to properly hold you. Still, the lump in your throat refused to flatten.

Your heads both snapped to your left the moment Reiner’s Armoured hand clamped over the side of the wall.

You were out of time.

“Go.” you softly instructed. A moment of reluctance, before you both turned your backs on each other. You, to join the fight alongside Eren and Hange, Levi to join the fight alongside Erwin and the rest of the Scouts. But the pit in your stomach refused to close.

“Couple’s time is over, I see,” Hange smirked upon your approach. How they could stay so calm given the circumstances, you would never know. But the weight on both your mind and heart matched that of the Thunderspears on both your arms. Biceps burning slightly, you mentally thanked your Captain and lover for all those extra ‘training dates’ he would call them. At the time, you knew they were an excuse to both spend time with you, and also make sure you were getting stronger. It gave him peace of mind, to know you were capable enough to look after himself. You’d never been so grateful for them until now.

“Hange, that might have been the last time either of us see each other alive, some empathy would be appreciated,” you stared flatly at the Section Commander, watching as they turned to you, their hazel eyes alight with the oncoming battle.

“If you wanted empathy, maybe the Scouts was the wrong place for ya.”

“Tell that to my eight years of experience.” you responded instantly, and despite the imminent death surrounding you, you couldn’t help but share a smile with the scientist. You knew Hange was quite empathetic, it was needed to be so high up in command. One needed to have empathy, to understand the feelings of the soldiers beneath them, before making decisions that would most likely put their lives in danger. You always thought it was something Erwin lacked as the Commander. Something you still weren’t sure he possessed.

Lightning struck behind you, not that you made a move. Eren’s transformations didn’t bother you so much these days. A far cry from the flinches and whirls of surprise whenever he would use his ability to shift. Rather, seeing the long haired titan filled you with relief. The fight seemed a little more even now. A little more possible. Less one sided. However you wanted to put it.

All eyes slid to the top of the wall, and the two figures standing against the greying sky. One significantly larger than the other. You figured Levi must have already zipped down to the front, assisting where he could. Your heart instantly ached to be by his side. A longing you knew wouldn’t settle until you were wrapped up in his arms once again, safe back behind the walls. All eyes watched as Reiner turned, seemingly ignoring The Commander, and sliding back down the wall he’d just spent so much effort climbing. Thundering footsteps behind you had you glancing at Eren’s retreating figure. This was bait. It must be. Reiner couldn’t know about all the soldiers armed to the teeth with spears that could pierce his armour like a knife through sponge. He couldn’t possibly know about the advancements made by the Scouts in the short time he revealed himself as an enemy of humanity. Both him and his gangly fucking friend. You tasted venom on your saliva as the blonde shifter began the chase, putting whatever overall goal they all had on hold as he went for the cadet.

“Can’t fucking believe this is working.” you hadn’t even noticed Moblit on the other side of Hange, his perpetually worried face even more creased than usual. You started to think whether the lines in between his eyebrows were actually embedded into his skull at this point. The joys of being Hange’s personal assistant, you supposed.

A soft chuckle rose from the scientist as they simply stood and observed, watching as Eren finally turned to face The Armoured. The last time these two threw down, it didn’t end well for him. But, you hoped, since Reiner didn’t have the help of the Colossal this time, wherever the hell Bertholdt was hiding away, maybe Eren stood a bit more of a chance. Not only that, but you had the power of the Thunderspears now. You couldn’t forget that. This was a battle you could win.

You hoped all was going well on Levi’s side as you fired your anchors, engaging your gas as you linked up with the rest of your squad. The kids you had watched grow from children to soldiers in the span of a month or so. You were almost proud as you watched Connie and Sasha’s teamwork, as you heard Jean’s brutal yet determined encouragement. As you witnessed Mikasa’s impressive skills and Armin’s brain work. You half wished Levi was here to see how his squad gelled so well thanks to his guidance. That flare of pride only grew as the shockwave of Thunderspear explosions rattled your ears, Hange and Mikasa’s coordinated attack striking Reiner in the eyes. You were part of the second stage of attack, the spears that would fly towards the nape. The explosions you so expertly dodged –you weren’t Corporal to Levi Ackerman for nothing– before landing soundly next to the section commander and their assistant.

“One more round. One more attack, and–” you covered your ears the second Reiner opened his mouth. A desperate scream of terror induced rage shook the buildings beneath you, loose stone and rubble jumping around as you tried your damndest to shut out the ear-splitting scream. It seemed like a split second of forever when he finally stopped, your eyes wide, your breathing unhinged. What the hell was that just now?

Hange turned their attention to Armin, the brains they knew the kid possessed now working overtime as those blue eyes looked back to them in confirmation.

Yes. That was a signal. Yes, most likely to Bertholdt. Yes, you should all get the fuck out of here as fast as you could.

As if on cue, your squad looked up to the trajectory of a barrel, and the body that just flew from it. It was Bertholdt, without a shadow of a doubt. Fear lanced through your chest, your last thoughts turning to Levi as you engaged your gas with the intention of getting out of the blast range. Not that you could. You’d all seen what destructive power the Colossal titan possessed. You were all as good as dead.

“REINER!”

You couldn’t tell if it was the wind in your shattered eardrums, or whether you did actually just hear yet another desperate scream. Though this one sounded much more human. You chanced a glance behind you, only for your heart to break ever so slightly. This was Bertholdt. Throughout the entire time you’d known the kid, he was never once ruthless. He was never once cold blooded. He was nice. Sweet. A little shy. And seemingly hung up on…

Annie.

You understood now. You understood how Armin got through to him last time. If anybody used Levi against you like that, you would have acted the same. That raw, unbridled compulsion to protect him, and you knew he had that same compulsion. That same urge to keep you safe, no matter who got hurt in the process. You were brought out of your strange reverie, considering the circumstances, by the severe lack of explosion. Firing your anchors into an intect spire, your twisted feet finding purchase on the rough stone as you watched the scene unfold.

It was Armin who confronted the wolf in the guise of a lamb, and though you couldn’t quite hear what they were saying, you could tell from Bertholdt’s expression, the blonde had once again brought up the subject of Annie. That same hollow eyed look you recognised from before. The wild, unrestrained gestures from the taller man. No, you thought. Kid. They were all still kids. 15 at most. Were those who used these two any better than you sending out those same 15 year old kids to die at the hands of the man eating monsters? What was their agenda? They must have an ulterior motive. Their sole purpose couldn’t be to wipe out what was left of humanity. What would be the point? Where did they even come from? Was there really nothing left outside these–

“MIKASA!”

Your head snapped back to reality, eyes re-focussing on the dark haired girl currently tumbling from the rooftop. Bertholdt had landed a harsh blow to the side of her head, a counter attack to the vicious slice of her blade to his ear. You were moving before you’d even registered firing your anchors, gas hissing behind you as your instincts to help the cadet kicked in. Instantly your hands fell to her wires, only slightly tangled due to the short fall.

“Get up. He’s gonna transform and we’re right beneath the blast range.” It was a short, firm order, and one the girl didn’t hesitate to follow as her limbs were untangled. But she seemed to pause, obsidian eyes set on you. “The hell are you waiting for? GO!” you shouted, desperately ushering her away with an outstretched arm. You had a feeling she knew what you did. Mikasa was faster than you, not by much, but she’s a young Ackerman. She would just be able to clear the blast range. You, on the other hand…

“Thank you.” she muttered earnestly, before turning on her heels and in a short leap and pull of a trigger, she was gone. You took your chances the opposite way. Mikasa would have wanted to get back to Eren, no matter how close or far away the boy was. You, on the other hand, like most, simply wanted to clear the blast range. A quick glance up had your stomach dropping. Bertholdt was already at his peak height, high enough to simply bite his hand and transform. You weren’t going to make it. You were still very much beneath the explosion. Maybe you wouldn’t be caught up in the flame, but the shockwave would definitely send you spiralling.

A strange calm settled over your racing mind as your thoughts turned to Levi, a gentle smile pulling at your lips as you relaxed into your fate. With your eyes closing, the thunderous explosion rattling the earth behind you, you held his hand one last time, your mind’s eye showing you comfort, before searing agony seized your spine, and you remembered no more.

Nope, not you… that wasn’t you either, not you, not you, not you–

Levi scanned the small crowd of survivors, most ashen faced and bloodsoaked, but still breathing. Hange’s arrival had been a welcome relief with the circumstances as they were. He couldn’t have fought off Mikasa alone, the little Ackerman having overpowered him due to the exhaustion that clung to his bones like lead. He felt heavy. Limbs, muscles, mind. Everything felt heavy. He’d chosen some kid over the Commander. Some child over his friend. He’d convinced himself at the time it was the right thing to do, Hange too nodding in agreement, but could he really sleep at night knowing he let Erwin die?

Yeah, he decided. Yeah, he could. If you would just show your face already so he could relax for the first time since yesterday evening. So many among the dead. Though it may have technically been a victory, nobody was celebrating. The air stank of death and decay, iron lingering on his tongue. He just needed to know where you were. Collapse into your hold and just let the world around him melt away. He just needed to see you, to feel you, to touch you–

“Captain Levi, Sir…”

He was so sick of hearing that tone. Using that tone. It was a tone of informative grief. He’d used it time and time again when he had time to visit the families of the fallen, but not once had he ever heard it directed to himself. He’d never felt his blood freeze with so few words.

Not you… not you, not you–

“What?” he responded, flat toned and stone faced. Emotions pummeling against the solid wall he’d spent years constructing, filling in any cracks that may have appeared over the years. It was Mikasa currently using that tone, not something he ever expected. The girl was just as cold as he was when she wanted to be, and most of the time it was directed at him anyway. But hearing so much emotion in her voice, so much sympathy… it instantly had him on edge.

“The Corporal… I wanted you to know that she, she saved my life–”

A crack.

“I attempted to take down Bertholdt but he anticipated it, sent me down. Caught up in my ODM gear, the Corporal helped detangle me…”

A split.

“I think she knew… I think she knew she wouldn’t make it out but, she did it anyway. She saved my life, I’m here now because of her and I’m– I’m sorry.”

Shatter.

It was you. It was always you. You were here you were there you were everywhere you were–

“Gone…”

You were gone. Gone. The word repeated in his head, a carousel of grief circling in his mind. You were gone… you were gone. It no longer sounded like a word. Looked like a word. The O was wrong. Was there always an E? It looked distorted, sounded twisted. You were gone. Levi always thought when his walls shattered, it would be overwhelming. It would drown him, emotions welling up and spilling over until he was ready to burst but he felt… he felt nothing. Like the sudden void in his chest had absorbed everything. A piercing silence screamed in his ears. There was nothing, nothing nothing nothing–

Because you were gone.

And suddenly the weight of the ring didn’t feel so joyous anymore. Suddenly the next few years weren’t filled with hope, but rather agonising emptiness. He couldn’t see it. There was no future. It stopped here. There was nothing left. Nothing to work towards.

He told you to survive. He’d fucking ordered you to survive. It wasn’t like you to disobey. Not once did you question his orders. Not once did you fail to follow them. He could trust you, he could rely on you, he could love you with so much of the heart you stitched back together, using your own red string. The sutures bursting, the thread fraying. You were gone.

“Levi…?” it was Hange. Levi’s mind pleaded with him; ‘Let them in, please let them in, we need them, we need help, we can’t do this alone!’ a ridiculous folly. He’d done everything alone. He’d always been alone. It didn’t matter that he had you, that you’d been with him. You and him against the world.

The idea made him laugh bitterly.

“Levi?”

How long had he been on autopilot? How long had his muscles remembered this feeling, and taken over. How long had he simply been going through the motions? Judging from the gentle glowing flicker of candlelight, it had been the rest of the journey back. From Shiganshina to HQ. He felt cold, but he didn’t feel cold. He didn’t feel anything. He last saw you atop the wall. Alive. Breathing. Feeling. Shaking, crying, shivering, drowning, drowning drowning drowningdrowningdrowning–

“Levi!” Hardwood bit into his knees but it wasn’t the bite he deserved. That pain, this pain, he needed it, craved it. Anything, anything anything to take this away. To drown, he needed to drown, in what he didn’t know, but he needed to drown. He winced at a harsh claw in his hair, only to realise it was his hand, scratching against his scalp. It was his tears soaking his sleeve, his voice that cracked and sobbed. His heart that shattered in his chest. He was drowning.

And it was pathetic. Looking down at himself, shrivelled, curled. He looked like a child. A scared, disgusting, broken, tired, so so tired–

“She’s gone…” they were the only words he’d managed to choke out since he lost you. At least, the only ones he chose. All other words were empty, devoid of thought. But those two, these two, they consumed him. You weren’t just gone.

He’d lost you.

[frogtanii]

your palms were sweaty as you adjusted your slacks, making sure the pleats were where they should be with not a wrinkle in sight. you wanted to look professional and put together, at least on the outside, because you knew you were actually about .2 seconds away from falling apart.

your palms were sweaty as you adjusted your slacks, making sure the pleats were where they should be with not a wrinkle in sight. you wanted to look professional and put together, at least on the outside, because you knew you were actually about .2 seconds away from falling apart.

a quick glance to the boys at your sides notified you that they weren’t faring much better. atsumu kept fidgeting with his cufflinks, sakusa was so stiff you could knock him over with your pinky, kenma looked like he was about to pass out, bokuto was debating on squeezing under the table in front of you, kuroo was tapping a pattern on his pants (akeelah and the bee style), and akaashi kept reciting ominous poems under his breath.

the only people in the room who looked even remotely fine were osamu, oikawa, sugawara, daichi, and, surprisingly, yachi. osamu was munching on some peanuts that he pulled from... somewhere, while oikawa and sugawara were holding their own conversation by the window. daichi seemed to be minding his own business but you could never really get a proper read on him anyway.

well, you supposed yachi was okay because she knew what to expect. i mean, you were meeting her boss.

after you and kenma had posted your “exposing the hype(r) house” youtube video, an email had come to the both of you, inviting you to visit the “big boss” along with the rest of the crew.

you weren’t necessarily afraid of losing your job; the hype(r) house was already being dissolved and you were (finally!!!) getting to move in with makki and mattsun until you found your own place. you were genuinely excited to put the drama and literal hell behind you and begin to live your life again but...

that didn’t mean meeting the Man™ wasn’t terrifying. it was like being called into the principal’s office, complete with the existential dread and occasional bouts of gassiness.

the door opening made you flinch as you quickly moved out of the way to let the newcomers enter. while they walked past you, you couldn’t contain the shock that overtook your face, your jaw practically on the floor.

the man was massive.

built like a brick wall, the man who you assumed to be the “big boss,” had a chiseled jaw, broad shoulders, and massive fucking pecs, his white button up barely closing around them.

beside him stood a tall, lanky man who was dressed suspiciously un-office-like with a red buzz cut and wild eyes that seemed to cut into you as he took his place at the table.

the final man seemed a bit awkward in comparison to the other two, but he was trying to seem unaffected, his purple bowlcut, despite being rather juvenile, fitting perfectly with his slim but toned build and bright complexion.

yachi hurried to greet them, giving all three a blinding smile before motioning for everyone else to take a seat. you ended up between the redhead and atsumu, the former being way too entertained by just your general being. his eyes rarely, if ever, left your face sending shivers down your spine. the remaining members all hesitantly took their seats and “big boss” began.

“it is an honor to meet you all. i am ushijima wakatoshi but you can call me ushijima or wakatoshi or ushiwaka or toshijima or just ushi or just jima or just waka or just toshi.” for a moment you thought he was joking but his face never moved, not even with the awkward silence that followed. redhead seemed rather amused by the whole display and bowl cut looked like he was on the verge of spontaneously combusting.

it took an uncomfortably long moment for ushijima to proceed but he did as though nothing had happened. “these are my associates, satori—” redhead gave you a mischievous grin “—and tsutomu.”

“goshiki,” bowl cut interrupted, his voice wavering but his eyes gleaming with righteous indignation as though he was challenging wakatoshi to say something in defiance. instead, ushijima just gave him a nod and he visibly deflated back into his seat.

“goshiki is the social media manager for imla and satori is... satori,” big boss continued, not a hint of emotion on his face. the rest of the table perked up at his comment but atsumu was the only one who apparently had the balls to say anything.

“so yer the one who wrote that shitty among us tweet?” goshiki flushed horribly and sunk further into his plush leather chair, his body language showing he must’ve already gotten an earful about it. “thought it was a good idea,” he muttered while averting his eyes, completely ignoring satori’s cackle from across the wood.

ushijima put up a (massive???) hand to calm the both of them and it instantly worked. satori quieted down though he never lost the mirth in his expression and goshiki straightened up, a new wave of determination crossing his features.

you sat up as well, feeling the shift of energy in the room but you were startled to realize the boss had decided to focus his energy on you, his deep baritone voice calling your full name. “i am extremely sorry. we have failed you as a management team and as men. i have failed you.”

he sounded remarkably remorseful, his brown irises conveying heavy emotion and guilt. you had no idea what to say but he wasn’t done.

“although i do not have full control of the decisions that have been made here, i should have fought harder for what i believed was right and for that, i will forever be sorry.” you shifted uncomfortably under his weighty gaze, not that he noticed because his attention was swiftly taken by kenma at the opposite end of the room.

“who is in charge then? aren’t you like the ceo or whatever?” he asked. ushijima took a moment before nodding very slowly, his attention clearly on something in his head.

thankfully, satori rapidly took over the thread of conversation before the room could fall in tense silence yet again. “there’s a board of old, stuffy guys who basically kicked miracle boy wakatoshi to the curb and make all their decisions without him.”

...miracle boy? what did he have to do to earn that kind of nickname? you shook your head and tuned back in, just as the ceo spoke up once again.

“because i have not succeeded in doing my job properly, i have something to give to you,” ushijima deadpanned, sliding a thick envelope towards you. you carefully grabbed it and opened it up to reveal a thick, thick, wad of cash.

a gasp caught in your throat, words not coming to you as you thumbed through the money. there had to be at least $60k in there, your eyes filling with tears while you took in his generosity. “thank you,” you whispered, not trusting your voice to speak any louder.

wakatoshi nodded at you before addressing the rest of the table about something but you weren’t even listening.

you were so overwhelmed. for the longest time, you’d hated whoever management was for ignoring your pleas for help and trying to placate you with nice dresses and fancy dinners so meeting ushijima was quite the welcomed surprise.

despite everything that occurred, you could tell he felt horrible for letting things slide even though it was technically out of his hands and you couldn’t even articulate how much that meant to you.

the fact that he had gone out of his way to pay you extra, assumingly without the permission of the board, was heartwarming, confusing, shocking, and staggering all at once.

i mean, you could probably describe the past few months as exactly that. so much had happened, so much had changed, and while you could do without some of the life adjustments (the nightmares, spare trauma, and fear of public bathrooms to start), you felt blessed with new friends and the experiences that helped shape you to the person you were now.

the boys didn’t hate you anymore (well, not all of them at least and none were actively antagonizing you), you were seeing dr yamada again, you were getting to move in with your two best friends, you were just given enough money to expand your channel drastically, and you were finally feeling good. better than good.

meiko was behind you and though you missed the person she once was, you were so glad she was out of your life in a way where she couldn’t harm you or the boys any longer.

a grin spread across your face, your cheeks nearly burning from the intensity of it. things were definitely looking up.

a soft call of your name jolted you from your thoughts, your eyes landing on all the boys already standing as they got ready to leave the room. you could sense their worry and you shot them a genuine, reassuring smile before standing yourself.

you waved goodbye to the three men at the table, thanking ushijima profusely for his kindness but he shook you off, insisting that he had just been doing what he should’ve done a long time ago.

what a nice guy.

as you followed the boys out of the building, you took a moment to observe them together with fondness written all over your expression. they were laughing and joking around, the happiest and most carefree you had ever seen any of them. bokuto was begging yachi to get them ice cream, the rest of them piling on until she gave in with a playful roll of her eyes, giggling at the cheer that went up from the group.

atsumu seemed to notice you lagging behind, falling back to join you. “ya okay angel?” he asked, eyes focused on your feet as he slowed down to match your pace.

you didn’t answer for a while, instead focusing on the sun warming your cheeks, the cool breeze messing up your hair, and the sounds of pure joy swirling above you.

“i’m absolutely perfect.” you replied and you actually meant it. “race you to the van?” you sent him an impish grin before taking off, his yells of indignation making you laugh freely as the rest of the boys joined in, right on your heels.

this is it, you thought. no matter what, i’ll have this moment and i’ll be okay.

you’d been through hell and back and you’d survived. you’d been cursed at, choked out, hospitalized, and been beaten at mario kart more times than you could count and you had still made it through. you were resilient and strong and you’d never given up, despite how badly you’d wanted to, multiple times over.

things weren’t perfect, they rarely are, but you knew that if you could make it through all that, you could get through practically anything, especially with the boys by your side.

yeah. i’ll be just fine.

ʕ•ᴥ•ʔ

bonus!!

“told you it sounded stupid as hell.”

“gah, stop talking about it!!”

“you sounded sooooo old ‘shiki, what are you, 92?”

“AAAAAAAAAA!!!”

“satori...”

“what’s up miracle boy?”

“...what is ‘sus’?”

℗ poker face

i’ll be just fine

series masterlist

(●’◡’●)ﾉ

an - AND THATS A WRAP FOLKS 🥳 wowowow did the ending give me trouble but that’s ok SISJSK the endings will be coming shortly but they might not be daily just cs they may take more time, who knows lmfao i’ll let y’all know :3 AAAA ANYWAYS ILY I HOPE U GUYS LIKED KITH KITH don’t forget to feed me <3

taglist - if your name is in bold, i cannot tag you

@boosyboo9206 • @geektastic84 • @elianetsantana • @trashy-simp • @infinitebells • @6mattsun9 • @suhkusa • @katsulovee • @kotarosbabygirl • @fucktheworlddude • @insomniacwreck • @calumsfringe • @saltylettuce • @chai-blu • @al3x1ss • @hawksyoongi • @jooleuuh • @loubells • @kissungjae • @liberhoe • @tetsurocore • @animeoverdosee • @duhsies • @saiKishaircLip • @afire24 • @premiyagi • @kit-kat428 • @doctorspencereid • @daphnxy • @kyomihann • @maer-333 • @sinoflust19 • @peteunderoos • @peachiikichu • @iidanotlida • @yongboxerrr • @kac-chowsballs • @tanakaslastbraincell • @memorableminds • @risjime • @starry-magicshop • @sugavwara • @smuttyanimeslut • @kiwibirbs-library • @haijkk • @airybnb • @crybabygumi • @iwaisa • @decaffinatedtealover • @notameera • @kawaii-angelanne • @rintarovibes • @urlocalsimp • @keiarma • @shrimpypenis

the rest of the tags will be in the replies!!

[hotch-stufff]

Possibly a Hotch imagine where he is dating an artist and he finds her drawing him and Jack ?

Is That Me?

gif by nerddivision

Pairing: Aaron Hotchner x reader

Warnings!: none, literally all fluff :), well ig kissing, curse word or two

Description: Hotch finds a drawing you did of him and Jack. Will you tell him how you feel, or brush it off as nothing?

Author's Note: I LOVED this request. I did switch it up a bit, reader is Hotch's best friend. Sorry, I just really wanted to throw a love confession in here!! Hope you guys enjoy reading and I hope its what you wanted!!

------------

You loved to draw. You always have. It was one of your favorite things to do.

You would do it while doing paperwork, or on jet rides. You would draw to help calm you down, or even just to keep yourself busy.

Point is, you were always drawing something.

But you never drew people. Or atleast you never showed others your drawings of people. The whole team knew that.

They never turned out the way that you liked. You would always end up messing up a facial feature. Or you would draw the hands wrong. A number of things would go wrong.

That was until you decided to draw your boss, and best friend, Aaron Hotchner.

It was no secret to the team that you had somewhat of a crush on the man. You hadn't done a good job hiding it. But it was still very oblivious to the man in question.

He had quickly become one of your closest friends after you joined the team. You guys would often hang out at each other's houses on the weekends, or you would just sit around at the park with Jack.

You just loved spending time with eachother. Which had led to the feelings.

But of course you didn't know he had felt the same. The team did though. And of course they were going to meddle. Thats just who they are.

Anyways, you had gotten the idea for the drawing of Hotch about 4 weeks ago.

You had all been at Rossi's for a dinner, children included, and Hotch had been sitting there with Jack in his lap. He had this look of pure adoration as he listened to his son tell a story and he had this bueatiful smile adorning his face. You just couldn't look away.

Now, similar to Reid, you had a photographic memory. It wasn't the same as his eidic memory, but similar.

That image had stayed printed in your brain. You remembered that exactly moment, and it stayed there for 2 weeks before you began drawing.

There was a lot of erasing and starting over. But you kept going. The team would catch glimpses of the drawing, but never enough to know what it actually was. You especially made sure to keep it hidden from Hotch, only working on it in the office when his door was closed.

When you finished the drawing, you put it in the top drawer of your desk, knowing no one would go through it. You kept it there for weeks. Adding bits and pieces here and there to add to the beauty of the drawing. It had probably been one of your best pieces. But you kept it hidden.

Until of course, Morgan found it.

He had seen it in your desk when he went to borrow a pen, without pernission. He had taken it, and walked quickly to Garcia's office. They had been trying to get the two of you together for months.

"Babygirl, I think I just found how we can get them together." He had said walking in without knocking.

"Of course you did." And they worked out a plan, bringing in Prentiss, JJ, Spence, and Rossi.

After planning and then going over everything, everyone gathered in the bullpen. Morgan walked over to you, a little too chipper.

You gave him a suspicious look, co fused as to why he looked so giddy.

"Hey sugar, want me to take your paperwork up?" You looked down at the finished pile of paperwork, and back up at Morgan.

"Suuure." You slowly said. Still very suspicious, but allowing him to take the pile. Soon he was walking off, with his own paperwork as well, marching up to Hotch's office. He opened the door and disappeared from your sight.

With a roll of your eyes, and a lasting glance, you turned away. You had completely forgot about the whole interaction, and had gotten back to work.

You got bored with that quickly and about 2 hours later, you opened the top drawer of y I ur desk, so you could work on your drawing.

Only it wasn't there.

It was gone.

You began frantically searching each and every drawer. Opening and shutting each one as your rummaged through everything. You checked your bag, the trashcan, your floor. You went through each and every piece of paper on your desk.

But it was gone.

"Y/n, is everything okay?" Prentiss asked from across the desk.

"No. Um, I-I lost something."you were freaking out, if anyone saw that, it would be disastrous. You could lose your job, your friendship. And if Hotch every saw it, he would probably think it was creepy.

You continued to search looking through each like of paperwork.

But then you realized. You had sent a pile with Morgan.

Morgan had taken it to Hotch.

Hotch.

Son of a bitch!

You were up and out of your seat in less than a second, sprinting up to Hotch's office and throwing it open.

You expected Hotch to look up in shock. To glance at you. Something.

But he didn't.

He was staring at a piece of paper. With him on it.

How long he had been sitting there staring at it, you didn't know.

"Hotch." You whispered out. But he heard you none the less. He glanced up for a second before glancing back down.

"Is that me?" He asked. The silence that followed was deafening. You didn't answer him. You couldn't.

"Is that me Y/n?" He asked again.

"Yeah. Yes. I'm so sorry Hotch. You weren't supposed to see it." You looked up at him and your eyes locked. He had a tear rolling down his face.

"I-I love it. Its bueatiful." You stared at him waiting for the other show to drop, waiting for the but. Except it never came. He just stood from his desk, marched around it and smashed his lips against yours.

You let out a surprised noise and faltered backwards, but that just caused his to press you into the wall, kissing you harder. It was intimate and everything you had ever dreamed about. He cupped your face, deepening the kiss.

He broke away after a minute or two. You couldn't tell how long it was, the kiss had left you in a daze.

"I love it. I love you." He stuttered out breathlessly. You stared at him in awe. You hadn't expected this kind of reaction. Never in a million years did you think he would feel the same as you did.

"I love you too." You spoke softly. He smiled widely.

"The drawing is so perfect. Its bueatiful. No one has ever drawn me before. And you drew Jack, he looks, he's perfect. Its perfect, you are perfect. God I love y-" you cut him off with another kiss, smiling the entire time.

You were kissing Aaron Hotchner.

You loved Aaron Hotchner.

And he loved you too.

------------

Thanks for reading! Requests are still open, so ask away! If you would like an idea of what to request, here is my prompt list, and if you would like to read more of my work, here is my masterlist.