#oxygen pool system

[nanobubblepool]

Swimming Without Chemicals: A Safer, Cleaner Solution

Ditch the chlorine and embrace a chemical-free pool! Our unique system ensures safe, fresh water while effectively controlling contaminants, giving you peace of mind every time you swim.

[bluebellwren]

Do doctors not explain conditions to people when they diagnose them? “My nervous system can’t tell the difference between standing up and being held at gunpoint. Love having POTS!” Okay, but that is literally not what is happening with POTS??? Like at all?? I get the words that make up the acronym are big but that’s what a dictionary is for. And the internet.

[literaryvein-reblogs]

Writing Notes: Stages of Decomposition

The decomposition process occurs in several stages following death:

Pallor mortis

Algor mortis

Rigor mortis

Cadaveric spasm

Lividity

Putrefaction

Decomposition

Skeletonization

PALLOR MORTIS

The first stage of death.

Occurs once blood stops circulating in the body.

The cessation of an oxygenated blood flow to the capillaries beneath the skin causes the deceased to pale in appearance.

In non-Caucasians, the pallor may appear to develop an unusual hue; the skin will lose any natural lustre and appears more waxen.

Occurs quite quickly, within about 10 minutes after death.

ALGOR MORTIS

The cooling of the body after death.

The cooling process will be influenced by many factors, including the deceased’s clothing, or whether they are covered with bed linen such as blankets or duvets.

The body will typically cool to the ambient room temperature, but this alters if there is heating in the room or if there is a constant draught cooling the body.

RIGOR MORTIS

Can occur between 2 and 6 hours after death.

Factors including temperature can greatly affect this.

Caused by the muscles partially contracting, and the lack of aerobic respiration means that the muscles cannot relax from the contraction, leaving them tense, subsequently resulting in the stiffening we associate with rigor mortis.

This stage typically begins in the head, starting with the eyes, mouth, jaw and neck, and progresses right through the body.

The process is concluded approximately 12 hours after death (although, again, certain variables may occur) and lasts between 24 and 72 hours depending on circumstances.

Contrary to popular belief, rigor mortis is not a permanent state and is in fact reversed, with the muscles relaxing in the same order in which they initially stiffened.

The reversing process also takes approximately 12 hours, when the body returns to its un-contracted state.

It is possible to ‘break’ rigor mortis by manipulating and flexing the limbs. This is usually done by undertakers, pathologists or crime scene investigators who are attempting to examine or move a body – or by a murderer trying to hide their victim in the closet or the boot of a car.

CADAVERIC SPASM

A phenomenon that can be misinterpreted as rigor mortis.

The instantaneous stiffening of the body (most commonly the hands) following a traumatic death.

Unlike rigor mortis, the stiffening of the affected limb is permanent and is not reversed, causing the deceased to maintain the rigidity until such time as putrefaction causes breakdown of the particular muscle group.

Examples:

The deceased following an air crash were later discovered still clutching their seatbelts or arm rests in a final, desperate act of survival.

In a drowning case, the victim was discovered with grass from the riverbank still grasped in their hand.

Perhaps the most famous case of cadaveric spasm involves the rock band Nirvana’s lead singer, Kurt Cobain. Cobain reportedly committed suicide in April 1994. His body was discovered a few days after his death with a shotgun wound to the head, and tests revealed he had large traces of heroin in his system. He was reportedly discovered still clutching the gun in his left hand, due to cadaveric spasm. However, a great deal of controversy surrounds the veracity of this latter assumption, and indeed the cause of his death, with many people insisting and attempting to prove that he died as the result of foul play rather than suicide.

LIVIDITY

Also known as livor mortis, hypostasis, or suggillation.

Once blood can no longer circulate, it will gravitate towards the lowest point of the body.

Example: A supine body will display pinkish/purple patches of discoloration where the blood has settled in the back and along the thighs.

Occurs about 30 minutes after death, but will not necessarily be noticeable until at least 2 hours afterwards as the pooling process intensifies and becomes visible, finally peaking up to between 8 and 12 hours later.

Once it is complete, the lividity process cannot be reversed.

Therefore a body discovered lying on its side, but with staining evident in the back and shoulders, must have been moved at some point from what would have been a supine position at the time of death.

It is worth noting that if the body has had contact with the floor, a wall or other solid surface, lividity would not occur at the points of contact as the pressure would not allow the blood to seep through the capillaries and pool. The specific area of pressure will be the same colour as the rest of the body and a pattern of contact may well be evident.

PUTREFACTION

Derives from the Latin putrefacere, meaning ‘to make rotten’.

The body becomes rotten through the process known as autolysis, which is the liquefaction of bodily tissue and organs and the breakdown of proteins within the body due to the increased presence of bacteria.

The first visible sign is the discoloration of the skin in the area of the abdomen.

Bacteria released from the intestine cause the body to become bloated with a mixture of gases; over time these will leak out, and the smell will intensify to unbearable proportions.

Typically, this will attract flies that will lay eggs, which develop into maggots.

Bloating is most evident in the stomach area, genitals and face, which can become unrecognizable as the tongue and eyes are forced to protrude due to the pressure of the build-up of gases in the body.

At this stage, the body will also begin to lose hair.

The organs typically decompose in a particular order: starting with the stomach, followed by the intestines, heart, liver, brain, lungs, kidney, bladder and uterus/prostate.

Once all the gases have escaped the skin begins to turn black: this stage is called ‘black putrefaction’.

As with all the other stages of death so far, the rate of putrefaction depends on temperature and location. A body exposed to the air above ground will decompose more quickly than a body left in water or buried below ground.

During putrefaction, blistering of the skin and fermentation can also occur:

Fermentation - a type of mould that will grow on the surface of the body. This mould appears white, and is slimy or furry in texture. It also releases a very strong, unpleasant, cheesy smell.

As the putrefaction process comes to an end, fly and maggot activity will become less, which leads to the next stage.

DECOMPOSITION

The body is an organic substance comprising organisms that can be broken down by chemical decomposition.

If the body is outside, any remains that have not been scavenged or consumed by maggots will liquefy and seep into the surrounding soil.

Thus when the body decomposes it is effectively recycled and returned to nature.

SKELETONIZATION

The final stage of death is known as ‘dry decay’, when the cadaver has all but dried out: the soft tissue has all gone and only the skeleton remains.

If the cadaver is outside, not only is it exposed to the elements but it also becomes food for scavengers such as rats, crows or foxes.

As the remains are scavenged, the body parts become dispersed so it is not unusual to find skeletal remains some distance from where the body lay at the point of death.

The way in which skeletal remains are scattered in such cases is of interest to archaeologists, and is referred to as taphonomy.

Where a body has lain undiscovered at home for a period of time it has also been known for family pets, typically dogs, to feed on the body. The natural instinct of a pet is to attempt to arouse the deceased by licking them, but once it gets hungry, its survival instinct will take over and it will consider the body as little more than carrion: it will act with the same natural instinct as a scavenger in the wild, which will feed on any corpse, be it animal or human, if it is starving.

Obviously the number of pets, the body mass of the deceased and the time lapse before the body is discovered will influence to what extent it has been devoured.

For further research on the stages of decomposition and the factors that affect it, look up body farms. These are medical facilities where bodies are donated for research purposes so scientists can specifically observe the decomposition process. However, be aware that some of the images are quite graphic.

Source ⚜ More: References ⚜ Autopsy ⚜ Pain & Violence ⚜ Injuries Bereavement ⚜ Death & Sacrifice ⚜ Cheating Death ⚜ Death Conceptions

Writing Resources PDFs

[reasonsforhope]

"Morningside Park, a beloved neighborhood park in Miami with sweeping views of Biscayne Bay, will soon pilot an innovative approach to coastal resilience.

BIOCAP tiles, a 3D-printed modular system designed to support marine life and reduce wave impact along urban seawalls, will be installed on the existing seawall there in spring 2025. BIOCAP stands for Biodiversity Improvement by Optimizing Coastal Adaptation and Performance.

Developed by our team of architects and marine biologists at Florida International University, the uniquely textured prototype tiles are designed to test a new approach for helping cities such as Miami adapt to rising sea levels while simultaneously restoring ecological balance along their shorelines...

Ecological costs of traditional seawalls

Seawalls have long served as a primary defense against coastal erosion and storm surges. Typically constructed of concrete and ranging from 6 to 10 feet in height, they are built along shorelines to block waves from eroding the land and flooding nearby urban areas.

However, they often come at an ecological cost. Seawalls disrupt natural shoreline dynamics and can wipe out the complex habitat zones that marine life relies on.

Marine organisms are crucial in maintaining coastal water quality by filtering excess nutrients, pollutants and suspended particles. A single adult oyster can filter 20-50 gallons of water daily, removing nitrogen, phosphorus and solids that would otherwise fuel harmful algal blooms. These blooms deplete oxygen levels and damage marine ecosystems.

Filter-feeding organisms also reduce turbidity, which is the cloudiness of water caused by suspended sediment and particles. Less water turbidity means more light can penetrate, which benefits seagrasses that require sunlight for photosynthesis. These seagrasses convert carbon dioxide into oxygen and energy-rich sugars while providing essential food and habitat for diverse marine species.

Swirling shapes, shaded grooves

Unlike the flat, lifeless surfaces of typical concrete seawalls, each BIOCAP tile is designed with shaded grooves, crevices and small, water-holding pockets. These textured features mimic natural shoreline conditions and create tiny homes for barnacles, oysters, sponges and other marine organisms that filter and improve water quality.

The tile’s swirling surface patterns increase the overall surface area, offering more space for colonization. The shaded recesses are intended to help regulate temperature by providing cooler, more stable microenvironments. This thermal buffering can support marine life in the face of rising water temperatures and more frequent heat events driven by climate change.

Another potential benefit of the tiles is reducing the impact of waves.

When waves hit a natural shoreline, their energy is gradually absorbed by irregular surfaces, tide pools and vegetation. In contrast, when waves strike vertical concrete seawalls, the energy is reflected back into the water rather than absorbed. This wave reflection – the bouncing back of wave energy �� can amplify wave action, increase erosion at the base of the wall and create more hazardous conditions during storms.

The textured surfaces of the BIOCAP tiles are designed to help diffuse wave energy by mimicking the natural dissipation found on undisturbed shorelines.

The design of BIOCAP takes cues from nature. The tile shapes are based on how water interacts with different surfaces at high tide and low tide. Concave tiles, which curve inward, and convex tiles, which curve outward, are installed at different levels along the seawall. The goal is to deflect waves away from the seawall, reduce direct impact and help minimize erosion and turbulence around the wall’s foundation.A

How we will measure success

After the BIOCAP tiles are installed, we plan to assess how the seawall redesign enhances biodiversity, improves water quality and reduces wave energy. This two-year pilot phase will help assess the long-term value of ecologically designed infrastructure.

To evaluate biodiversity, we will use underwater cameras to capture time-lapse imagery of the marine life that colonizes the tile surfaces. These observations will aid in documenting species diversity and habitat use over time...

In the coming year, we’ll be watching with hope as the new BIOCAP tiles begin to welcome marine life, offering a glimpse into how nature might reclaim and thrive along our urban shorelines.

[bobbedazzled]

ROCK THE BOAT

˖ ༘��˚࿆ pairing: caleb x reader

༘��˚࿆ count: 1.6k

˖ ༘��˚˖ ༘��˚࿆ content: porn no plot, fluff, tickling/playfighting AAAGRUSHS, dry humping, subtle use of evol, unprotected penetration, everytime I say boat take a shot, indecent exposure/public sex  ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀࿔‧ ֶָ֢˚ ˖ꫂ❁˖˚ֶָ֢ ‧࿔

˖ ༘��˚࿆ a/n: short I know I just need this out of my system. no I didn’t get the card yet shutupshutupshutup. may revise later.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ㅤ࿔‧ ֶָ֢˚ ˖ꫂ❁˖˚ֶָ֢ ‧࿔

“Lifting me to tease me is improper use of your evol, colonel.”

“Oh?” He glances over, “Will I face disciplinary action?”

Your eyes meet, something inside you simmering at the sight of his smug grin. Without a word, your hand shoots forward, cupping his face and giving him a playful shove. He stumbles back with a surprised laugh, only to recover just as quickly, hands sliding confidently to your waist. His fingertips dance over you, and your body tenses, instinctively bracing for him to dig at your sides.

But you’re quicker. Hands dart to his waist, fingers pressing into him. You feel his muscles twitch beneath your touch. He squirms, trying to twist out of your hold. A thrill runs through you at the sound of his laughter. Not long after, he catches your hand and pulls you into him, wrapping his arms tightly around you.

His fingers play at your sides until you're a mess of laughter and protests. You writhe and giggle uncontrollably, the boat rocking in response to your struggle. Water splashes gently over the edge as your pleas echo into the open air. At last he relents, lifting his hands.

“You’re so easy to break,” he teases.

You glare up at him, huffing as you drum your fists against his chest. “Coming from you?”

“Me?” He chuckles, head resting lazily in one hand. “And what do you have on me?”

You hum, lips curling into a knowing smile as you raise a brow. You’ve known Caleb for far too long to be intimidated by his arrogance. if anything, he’s just as vulnerable to your tricks. Without warning, you push his shoulder, sending him flat onto the floor of the boat. You lift a leg and snake it around his side, straddling his waist. His gloating falters, replaced by a flicker of surprise, then something darker. His gaze lingers curiously from beneath hooded lids.

“I’d say this is cheating, no?” he murmurs, a breathy laugh escaping him.

Leaning in close, you run your fingers down the front of his shirt, your touch light and deliberate as you trace the opening. “Cheating or not,” you whisper, “you still have a weakness.”

He blinks, unamused by your words. His hands return to your waist before lifting his leg, toppling you forward until you're sprawled against his chest, mere inches from his face. The boat sways beneath the sudden shift, water lapping eagerly against its sides. Before you can retaliate, he captures your hands in his and pulls you closer, reeling you in with daring eyes.

“Use it then,” he challenges, his tease does little to hide his desire.

Amused by his darkness, you indulge-- smiling against his lips as you press soft, fluttering kisses over them. His chuckles vibrate against your lips, the battle of wills slowly slipping from each other’s mind. The kiss deepens as he leans in, lips gliding between one another as his hold on your wrists slip. He places your hand against his chest, the rhythmic beating tickling your palm. Your other hand cups his face as you melt into his embrace.

His hand leaves yours, tracing your figure as he reaches down to the hem of your skirt, slowly slipping under the fabric. The skirt rides up your leg as callous fingers drag up your thigh. His hand is pressed against your back, another indents the skin of your hips as he holds you. His close embrace inches you up his frame as he chases after your lips. 

You can only break away for seconds before he’s back on you, moaning and mingling his breath with yours, intoxicated by the lack of oxygen. The warmth of him rises as your bodies brush together. Heat pools in the thin fabric of your panties, hips rolling against the rising mound under his linen. You grip his shoulder, the friction over your bud is electrifying and addicting, leaving your body begging for more.

The sun casts a burning light over you as the garden spectates your affection. His muscles twitch under your palm, fingers digging desperately from where they rest before reaching lower. His fingers tuck and trace along the edge of your panties.

“Caleb-“

“Mm-mm, don’t act shy now.” He mutters against your lips, hand firm against your back,

“It’s just us here. Need better cover?”

A shadow blankets over you as the boat drifts underneath a willow tree. Its leaves hiss in the breeze as its shadows dances across Caleb’s face. Something playful glints in the violet of his eyes. He smiles under your tentative gaze.

“Come here.”

His voice, low and inviting, its all you can hear in the space as the garden fades into the background. He slip past the fabric, rubbing long lines down your warmth. Your breath slows, hips rolling into his hand as he fondles your folds, slicking the pads of his fingers. Your eyes are closed but he mimics every head tilt-- lips pressed against yours to swallow every soft moan as your silk wraps around his fingers.

The water is disturbed as the boat rocks with every brush of your hips. You prop yourself up on his shoulders, tension swelling in your belly from the friction as his fingers pump your drooling cunt. Caleb watches in awe how you take his fingers-- how just a few digits can make you a mess. The fabric of his pants tighten while his imagination runs wild. Imagine how well you’d take his cock. Drooling just like your pussy and whining as you come undone by him, sinning in your own little Eden. He loses focus as his elbow slips, imbalanced by the boat’s unsteady rocking and the inconsistent motion of your hips. 

His fingers quickly slip out as he repositions, rolling you over and laying you on your side facing him. 

“Careful.” He laughs , embracing you as he falls back. “You’re gonna tip us over.”

His laughter warms your cheeks. Your hands stay at his shoulders and paw at the fabric of his top. He gazes for a moment, admiring how the filtering sunlight freckles your flushed skin. A soft orange hue wraps around the boat as it stills under the tree’s swaying leaves. Caleb inches closer and leans in, the tip of his nose brushing past yours. He takes his time to meet your lips once more, kissing tenderly.

“Keep going?” He whispers, the violet of his eyes darkened by his desire. 

His words lingered in the air, curling around you like a whisper-- temptation from a branch heavy with fruit. You could feel the heat of him, breath caught as if the garden around you had gone still. His hand sits at your hips as he waits, scanning your expression for permission.

You nod, leaning in as his kisses travel from your jaw down to your neck. Rough hands knead your flesh, nipping at your neck as he shifts your hips into his. You shove a hand between your bodies, cupping and stroking him through his restraints.

He grits his teeth, panties are quickly pulled aside and stretched over your ass as his clothes are undone. The heat of him quickly fills your hands as he spills out of his pants. 

The crook of your neck does very little to muffle him as you stroke his hardened cock, twitching and moaning as his fingers dig into you. His hips follow your hands, using you to quell his growing impatience as you guide him to your entrance. Chests pressed together as he fucks your palm and slips between your folds. Your fingers cling around his belt loops, encouraging his hips as he slicks his length between the lips of your cunt. He hooks your legs over his arm, holding you still as you slip him inside. His head emerges from your neck, reconnecting with your lips to taste your cries. 

The spring air does nothing to cool your flushed bodies. Sparks nip up your spine as he inches deeper into your velvet.  He struggling to continue his kisses as you clench around his length. Eyes fluttering open as he lifts your skirt to watch himself disappears inside you, how beautiful you take him.

Your warmth, your softness, your voice, it brings him closer to his release. The boat wobbles as Caleb’s hips begin to stutter. Caleb’s grip on you tightens, he refuses to come first, but god, is it hard to hold back. He grabs a hand full of your hair and forces your head up, groaning and rasping praise. He laughs breathlessly as you choke on your own incoherent cries.

“Almost there, baby?” He gasps, breath fanning against your skin. 

“Let me take you there.”

His pace quickens as your walls close around him. Your nails dig into his sleeve as your vision blurs, the knot in your belly swelling as your hips collide. His face is tucked away in the crook of your neck, promises of devotion disrupting the tranquil chorus of birds and rippling waves.

The pressure within you snaps-- your release ripples through you, leg trembling under Caleb’s hold. He smiles against your neck as you cry out, teeth bared against your throat. His release isn’t far behind, body stiffening and melting as your walls quake around him. 

Water splashes beneath you as the current clashes with the boat’s stillness. The colors embracing the boat fade. His heartbeat steadies under your palm as the boat sinks into the water, drifting lazily along the winding river. It’s path flecked with soft golden light filtering through a canopy of willow branches, their tendrils swaying in the breeze. Petals from the blossoms he had tucked around the boat’s edges fluttered loose, dancing across the current before carried away.

The scent of him mingled with the crisp green of the riverbanks and the wildflowers surrounding you. Sunlight flickered in and out, casting your faces in warm glows and cool shadows as the pearls adorning his chest glint between your fingers. The world felt hushed around you-- the rhythmic lapping of water, the rustle of leaves overhead, and the love fully blooming in the long awaited spring.

[inhogf]

pool sloppy ft seunghyun.

· contains: seunghyun deepthroats you under the pool. face fucking. hair pulling. infantilization kink. porn no plot.

“is this— mmf— a good idea-?“ bubbles float to the surface of the warm pool as your boyfriend, seunghyun, fucks your pretty mouth beneath it, head in the clouds as his dick flexes and unflexes, your suctioning mouth and curling tongue blinding him into a spellbound blur— muffled whines from him being heard as your puffy lips sealed him tightly and your throat hugged the tip of his cock.

you gag around the length of him, air beginning to run out of your system leaving your hands trembling as a chill prickles up your arms and across the nape of your neck, your breath hitching in your throat. you tap thrice on his thigh.

“you're being so good f’me, baby..“ seunghyun pulled your head up by your wet hair with one arm, while the other laid spread on the edge of the pool, effectively drawing out a gasp from you. he slapped your cheek a few times lightly, sweet barely-audible praises spilling from his mouth as he eyes you up & down, not caring to wipe that shit-eating grin off his face. it turned you sooo on though.

“d-daddy, i don’.. feel right,” you hiccup, your voice barely above a whisper, fractured and uneven. the world around you blurs and tilts, your vision splitting in two as dizziness takes hold— and before you knew it, seunghyun was pushing your head down into the water with a chuckle and shoving your mouth onto his dick again again.

you oblige, lips parting as you slip his dick into your cushy mouth again, tongue flattening to deepthroat him. the narrow grip of your throat is enough to make him see stars; he loosens his grip around your hair, causing you to sink further toward the base of dick until your face is quite literally flush with his thighs. you bob your head up and down setting a decent pace & seunghyun was feral; eyes rolling back into his skull and his mouth falling open. you were being so good for him and he was such a fuckin’ dick; not caring about your pleasure. (no surprise but he gets off to it)

seunghyun snaps his hips forward, fucking his cock into you, movements slowed down by the water yet still so harsh. you hollowed your cheeks, encouraging him to come undone. and just as you start to tap his thigh again, signalling you need to come up for some much needed air, he spurts a thick load of cum into your mouth, pumping back and forth making sure to empty his balls as you swallow his seed whole. he pulls your head up, this time by your neck, panting more than you are when you gasp, lungs starving of oxygen. his chest is heaving, and you can’t tell if it’s wet from his sweat or the hot tub.

he grabs you again, his hands tight on your hips this time, marking crescents on the plush meat.

“ride me.“

you’re still gasping for air, spit framing the corners of your mouth whilst tears cascade from your eyes. “what?” you shudder feeling your cunt drool at his words, trembling when he manhandles you to hover over his strong thighs.

“ride me, little girl.” he pulls your thong aside once you’re positioned over his tent. he just needs to make sure he finishes in your tight little pussy. “now.”

cr @inhogf dont steal

[iguanodont]

The Monoculi (informally dubbed ‘peebs’) are not exactly a new species from me, but they’ve gone through a pretty drastic redesign since I last posted anything about them. These are a spacefaring species from the same universe as birgworld! Details under the cut.

The Monoculi are so-called for the large compound eye that comprises the “head”. The densely packed ommatidia allow for crisp image resolution, and a variation in the depth of the lenses give the eye a range of acuity from only a few feet along the lower half to hundreds of meters along the top. Monoculi are nocturnal creatures which evolved to navigate complex cave systems by day and tangled branches by night; they have good depth perception and low-light vision but are nearly blind in regular daylight, and cannot perceive color.

The Mono homeworld is peculiar for the presence of a ring, the remnants of two moons which collided early in the planet’s history and bombarded the surface with chunks of space rock long after the planet’s crust had cooled. The result is an unusual abundance of heavy metals in the environment. Iridium, a prohibitively rare mineral on earth, comprises orange-yellow compound which carries oxygen through a Monoculus’s veins. The ring itself also has drastic effects on seasonal surface temperatures, though as on birgworld, life there has adapted accordingly.

Monoculi molt to grow like earth arthropods, but they only do so one segment at a time. A newborn larvae, one of 2 - 5 siblings, will remain soft and aquatic for about 8 months, until it loses its gills and hardens for the first time. They do not begin growing the first proper body segment until the thorax is as large as an adult’s. Molting and mating are both intimately tied to mineral pools found deep in their ancestral cave system. Without them, a molt will invariably fail and lead to severe health complications. Monoculi are hermaphrodites, and mate by pressing the gonopores (small openings under the first pair of arms) against the soft carapace of a first - third instar body segment, fresh after molting. The spawn will bore directly into the segment and trigger its transformation into a reproductive segment, which falls off after young are produced.

These sophonts are relatively large and long lived, with 200+ year old individuals sporting nearly 20 body segments not unheard of. They are also well into their space age, with a once-thriving space tourism industry buckled by a massive recession in recent decades. Rumour has it that several of the abandoned exoplanetary retreats still harbor stranded staff… but the company that built them dissolved and nobody has scraped up to funds for a rescue mission. They avoid contact with other sophonts, with the exception of the swimslugs, with whom they maintain a friendly cultural and technological exchange.

————

Btw, I do still post almost weekly sketches and worldbuilding notes on my patreon

[sarahsmi13s]

Fever Dream

pairing: evan buckley x nash!reader

characters: evan 'buck' buckley, nash!reader, bobby nash, athena grant

warnings: CONTAINS SPOILERS FOR 8.15, mentions of religion, blood, panic attack, nightmare, major character death, xreader (this is how i'm coping okay?), i'm delulu and gonna feed my fellow fandom siblings delusions, if i missed any please let me know!

word count: ~2.1k

a/n: as mentioned in the warnings, this contains spoilers for episode 15 so please if you don't want spoilers don't read. i wrote this simply because is how i'm choosing to cope until the next episode airs. i hope everyone out there is doing okay (in a general sense, i know so many of us are fucking mad). i hope this can help feed delusions or just maybe bring comfort.

summary: being separated from your team, your family, is hard enough... add in a deadly super virus and cctv cameras to give you a perfect view of them, and it's going to haunt you in ways you may never expect

Your fingers dug into Buck’s turn out. Your shaking and gasping cries merged with his screams, desperate prayers vibrating against his arm.

His throat hurt. It was raw and felt like it was bleeding, a metallic taste building up on his tongue. But he couldn’t bring himself to care. 

This couldn’t be it. This can’t be happening. Bobby’s not supposed to die.

No! No… Bobby was fine. He had been right behind Buck as they were leaving. He made it out. 

He was walking and talking, barking out orders like it was breathing.

Bobby was breathing.

Now…  Now he was what?

Now he was pacing around a room, alone. Professing his love to Athena and pleading with her to believe he didn’t want this. He was using every ounce of his strength to fight away any doubt in her heart. He was apologizing. Buck could still hear how he apologized to you as you were drug away from your attempts to pry the door open. 

Now he was crawling on the floor, his organs beginning to fail as he coughed up blood – red splatters decorating the ash covered floor. He was sweating, body feverish as his immune system kept trying to save him.

But nothing can save him…

Now he’s dying. Praying on his knees until blood filled his mouth like a fatal elixir, a final communion. Blood was coating his tongue and teeth, staining his lips crimson as his head fell to the table and his chest slowed to a stop.

Now he was in a body bag… and Buck-

– jolted awake, a raw cry straining his vocal cords as he gripped the duvet in his lap.

“Buck? Buck! Evan!” He knew that voice – that soft, gentle voice. “Hey, hey, baby it’s okay. It’s okay. I’m here. You’re safe.”

Gentle and warm hands cradled his face, tilting it up as thumbs wiped the tears away. He can barely make out anything through the tears and the panic scrambling his brain.

But those eyes… He knows those eyes. They’re safe. They’re home.

They’re you.

His entire body was shaking. Sweat dripped down his back, leaving goosebumps as the AC cooled his hot skin. Tears shone on his face in the dim lamplight, more spilling over his lash line to pool on your thumbs. His chest ached, it felt like he was trying suck in air from an empty oxygen tank.

“Breathe, Ev’. Breathe for me.”

He hit his chest to communicate that he was trying. Each gulp of air wheezed into his windpipe, barely giving him enough to speak. “I-I can’t…”

You nodded, moving his arms around you and pressing his hands flat against your back. “You can. You just gotta follow me, baby.”

He tried, he really tried. But his chest felt too tight, air snagged in his throat, scraping along what felt like open wounds lining his esophagus. All before getting forced out in broken, strangled sobs.

You only smiled softly at him, the expression warm and encouraging. Your thumbs brushed his cheeks gently, being careful not to rub his cheeks raw as your exhales cooled them. His hands were desperate and hard on your back, gripping at your sleep shirt as he tried to follow your breathing.

Neither of you knew how long it took before his chest expanded fully again. A full breath of air, accented by the scent of your shampoo, filled his lungs. He swallowed, nodding against you as he began to calm down.

You tilted your head, the movement small as you pushed his curl back from his damp forehead. There was no doubt this panic attack was the result of a nightmare. They weren’t uncommon in this line of work, but only a few brought on panic attacks.

Your hand rested at the back of his head, the other gently resting on the side of his neck. “What happened, Buck? What did you see?”

The question made his throat cinch up again, fresh waves of tears falling down his cheeks. He opened his mouth and the words tumbled out in broken, sob-ridden babbles.

You gently shushed him after a few moments, soothing the ache with the tender caress of your hands carding through his hair. His tears are hot against your skin as you tilted his chin up with your thumb. “Sweetheart, I need you to slow down.”

You weren’t upset with him, or frustrated in the slightest. If anything… you were scared and just wanted to help.

Buck swallowed, squeezing his eyes shut in an attempt to control himself. You pressed your lips to his head and gently rocked you both. It was a little awkward in this position, but all you cared about was making sure he was okay.

You pulled back to look at him, your hand moving back to his cheek to brush away the tears.

His eyes remained downcast, staring at where your knees pressed into his thighs. He gripped your shirt again as a soft cry fell from his lips.

“The lab…”

He felt you tense at the words. Your hands paused in their movements just long enough for him to catch it before you went right back to soothing him. 

A pang of guilt hit deep in his heart. 

“We-we had just got Hen and Chimney out, and everything was fine. But as I turned to Cap… he-” Buck bit his quivering lip, his eyes remaining fixated on your point of contact, not wanting to see the heartbreak in your eyes as he told you again what had happened in the damned lab. He hated to make you relive it, relive probably the worst day of your life. He wanted to take it back, take all of it back… but he kept going, knowing you wouldn’t just let him go back to sleep.

“He locked himself in… the hose line to his tank was torn in the explosion, he had been sick the whole time and no one knew. He sacrificed himself for Chimney… he’s gone.”

His voice cracked, sobs sending his trembling frame into your lap. Apologies tumbled past his lips and rumbled against your sternum. 

Your heart broke, frame rattling with the devastating cries of your boyfriend. You planted kisses on his head and rubbed his back. “Oh Evan, honey… it’s okay.”

“No, it’s not! He’s gone!” He pulled back swiftly, nearly headbutting you in the process. “Nothing is okay! How will it ever be okay?”

You held his face, fingers gently curling around his jaw to get him to look at you. “Baby, that was just a nightmare. He’s okay. He’s with Athena at their temporary apartment.”

Buck’s eyes met yours, his crystal blue eyes surrounded by red as his brow furrowed in confusion. “W-what? That-that’s impossible there was only one cure and we used that on Chimney. Bobby couldn’t have…” He trailed off, his voice giving way as he looked at you with pure desperation to understand.

Your thumbs rubbed under his eyes, tracing comforting crescents there. You couldn’t help the tears that stung your own eyes or how your lip quivered as you shook your head. “Baby, dad’s line was never compromised. His equipment was intact. He’s okay, I promise you.”

“But-”

You shushed him gently, adjusting how you were sitting to hold him. “I know… I know it felt real. Dreams like that always do. And it’s wild how, despite knowing the truth, your brain can twist reality so intricately that you wake up wondering which is which. Scared that the good life was the dream and the nightmare is your life…”

Buck sniffled, a small sound escaping his lips. His head was throbbing, pulsing alongside his heart as it crossed wires and memories. He was half-awake trying to make it all make sense.

“C’mon,” you said softly, sniffling as you kissed his damp forehead. You slipped out of the bed, grabbing Buck’s zip-up hoodie before pulling him to his feet. “Put this on and find your shoes.”

“Honey-”

“We’re going over there, right now.” 

Your words held a sense of authority, leaving no room for argument or questioning. Not that Buck needed to question you, he trusted you more than he trusted anyone.

The drive across town was a blur. Street lights and business signs merged together, nothing but bright neon streaks that went by too fast for anyone to process properly. 

Buck was fighting to stay awake, to pull himself out of his dream fog and focus. He felt stuck, constantly trying to decipher dream from reality.

A gentle squeeze to his hand felt like he was sucked back into his body. Everything around him clears, all becoming separate entities rather than a multi-colored blob. He could hear the low hum of the radio, the ambient sounds filling the space of the car in substitute of his voice.

Your lips brushed his knuckles as you reached across your body to put the car in park. “We’re here.” You could feel his hand trembling in yours just before you let go to exit the car.

He quickly got out after you, rounding the car and reaching for your hand again.

He needed it. He needed to be grounded. 

You both walked in, nodding to the doorman as you walked right past him to the elevator. 

After you got in and pressed the button you turned to Buck. He was bouncing on his toes, his unoccupied hand restless at his side.

“Baby, c’mere,” you said softly, tugging on his hand before wrapping your arms around him in a proper hug.

He immediately returned it, his arms pinning you to his chest desperately.

His voice was raspy as he spoke. “I’m so scared…” 

“I know, Ev’... I know. But I promise, he’s okay. You’ll see for yourself soon, I swear it.” 

The elevator slowed to a stop and you pulled apart as the doors opened. You took his hand again, gripping it tightly as you walked down the hall to your parents door.

Your knuckles rapped on the door in a rhythm that would signal to whoever was awake that it was you. Buck brought the concept up to Bobby back when you both began dating. It was just a silly little thing you did as a family, nothing serious.

But the sound of it made Buck’s stomach sink with anxiety.

What if Bobby would never hear that again? What if Buck would never hear Bobby knock like that again?

What if-

“Y/n? Buck?”

You smiled at Athena softly, a hint of an apology in it. “Hi, Athena…”

She wrapped her robe around her, yawning as she ushered you both inside. “It’s two in the morning, baby, what’re you doing here? Is everything okay?”

Her voice was laced with sleep and you almost felt bad for waking her up but there was a glass of water on the counter. She had been awake for a few minutes when you knocked.

Buck wiped at his eyes with his free hand as he squeezed yours.

You returned the gesture, rubbing your own eyes as you spoke.

“We umm… we need-”

“Bobby…” Buck’s frayed voice rattled through the kitchen, his shoulders dropping as if the strings keeping him so tense had been cut.

You and Athena looked up to see your dad walk out of the bedroom, stretching as he walked into the kitchen.

“Buck? Y/n? What’s going on? Everything okay?” He was slowly coming around to the idea of being awake at such an ungodly hour as he noticed the look on Buck’s face.

“Buck? What’s wrong?”

Without saying anything, Buck launched his 6’2” frame at your dad, curling into him like a child. He pressed his face into Bobby’s shoulder, crying in relief.

You noticed Athena glance at you from the corner of your eye as Bobby looked at you, hoping for an explanation.

You swallowed, arms wrapping around yourself as you leaned against the counter. “A nightmare… about the lab incident.”

Bobby gripped Buck tighter, realizing that being the only one not stuck in there must have taken a bigger toll on Buck than he thought.

Athena rubbed your arm, extending a comforting hand to you. Seeing Buck reacting so viscerally like this had to be affecting you too, she wanted you to know that you weren’t alone. 

You smiled at her appreciatively, resting your head on her shoulder as Buck pulled back from the hug.

“It-it felt so real… you died, Bobby. I-I thought we lost you.”

A deep frown pulled at your dad’s lips, his brow creasing as he gripped Buck’s shoulders.

“It was just a dream, son,” he said, pulling Buck back into a hug. “Everyone made it out. Everyone’s okay. I’m okay, and I don’t plan on changing that anytime soon.”

a/n: thank you so much for reading! i hope this could bring some comfort in, it was a huge comfort to write, and that it can hold you over until may 1...

and thank you to @startrekfangirl2233 for giving this a look over for me a giving some feedback!

also, happy easter to those who celebrate! i hope you're all having a great day!

tags (you can also follow @vinnys-recordcollection and turn on notifications ;p): @lovinglyeternal @bradleybeachbabe @achilles-rage @kmc1989 (tagged a few i thought might like it - apologies for anyone i missed, i gotta sort out taglists 😅)

[hiraethwrote]

LAWS OF MAGNETISM

pairing : suguru geto x f!reader summary : magnetism is one of the most interesting natural phenomena. a fundamental force of nature that plays a critical role in our everyday lives — amongst others, relationships between people. and this was the only way to describe whatever was the force between suguru and you cw [MDNI] : modern au, angsty suggestive content, insinuation to sex, partying, drinking, smoking, situationship, arguing, cursing, toxic behaviour, manipulation, arguing, addiction metaphores, some feminine descriptions of reader, slight self-insert when it comes to being unable to be casual hehe, horribly written ending, no use of y/n word count : 6.2k

You’d always thought Suguru to be magnetic.

From the very first moment your eyes were unexplainably drawn towards the tall, dark and handsome presence that entered the party. His energy tugged at your curiosity immediately, how he swerved smoothly into the crowd, greeting people left and right, all clearly familiar with the stranger.

And you kept your admiring gaze on him, having to count the seconds in order to ground yourself in reality, feeling as time moved so incredibly slow. Someone could have told you time stopped, and you’d believe them, waiting — hoping, he too would find you.

It was the longest seven seconds in your life before you eventually locked eyes with a pair of deep pools of unique purple that seemed to hold so many unspoken secrets.

He happily held your stare, your breath catching when the right corner of his lips tilted into an alluring smirk, the oxygen only returning to your lungs once he let your stare free to fully engage in some conversation with the friend he came with.

Whoever he was, he had his claws in without even knowing his name.

All throughout the night, you kept feeling that magnetic pull drawing you in. You found yourself always looking for him in the crowd, hoping to catch just a glimpse of him that would supply that strange urge you felt.

And it seemed like some higher power had decided to do you a favour this one time, because he stuck out to you more often than not.

Dressed in a loose, black shirt with the top three buttons undone, he looked godly as he towered over most of the individuals he surrounded himself with. He always had to hunch over ever so slightly to hear them clearly, which somehow only made him even more attractive.

Then — a blazing heat of embarrassment came rushing throughout your body when he, once again, found your gaze, greeting you with that same smirk. You quickly snapped your head away, hoping he didn’t catch the longing looks.

Still there was this force — a force that had your gaze flicker in his direction again, surprised to see he kept letting his gaze jump graciously between his friend and you, hiding his mischievous little grin behind his cup.

It felt ridiculous to admit he was making your heart flutter with giddiness, a feeling you couldn’t remember feeling since your high school years. And here you were, nearly twirling your hair at the good looking stranger you were sharing stolen glances with across the room.

You really wanted to talk to him, curious what his voice would sound like. While your feet mindlessly inched you closer to him, you tried to come up with the best way to introduce yourself in order to give of the best impression. Just based on the magnetic pull, you knew it would haunt you forever if you were in fact given the opportunity to talk to him, and blew it.

But your despair mixed with the alcohol in your system had your mind run blank, only able to picture a scenario where your mouth ran dry the second you were to speak your name.

Yet you needed to be near him — one way or another.

“It’s quite fascinating,” your friend snickered, managing to pull your attention to her for a second before shooting the stranger another look. “It’s not often we see someone catch your eye.”

You spared him another shared gaze, served along with an ever so seductive smirk before turning to your friend. “I don’t know, there’s just something about him that reels me in. I can’t explain it though.”

“He’s definitely easy on the eyes,” she smiled as she let her gentle stare travel him head to toe.

“You don’t know his name by any chance?”

She shook her head no as she finished her sip before answering. “No, but I think he’s friends with Shoko.”

Your eyes lit up with excitement, a bright lightbulb appearing over your head as you were offered the perfect opportunity for a natural introduction to the man who had the potential to be your new fixation.

You didn’t necessarily know Shoko well, but well enough for it to be plausible for you to approach her without any ulterior motives — not to mention, it would be nice to catch up.

“I’ll be right back,” you rushed to excuse yourself, only hearing your friend scoff tauntingly as you disappeared to find Shoko.

It didn’t take you too long, finding her stood in the backyard. She spotted you just as she took a drag from her cigarette, eyes widening with pleasant surprise.

“Hey you,” she said excitedly. “Haven’t seen you in a hot minute.”

“Yeah, it’s been too long if you ask me,” you chuckled, stretching your arms out to pull her in for a quick hug. “How’ve you been?”

“Can’t complain,” she nodded, a smile stretching across her face. “And you?”

“Wish I had anything new and exciting going on to tell you, but it’s the same as always really.”

She let out a small laugh, telling you she could relate. “Yeah, tell me about it.”

The small talk continued to flow smoothly for another ten minutes, making you realise you actually found your little reunion with Shoko more delightful than anticipated. You almost forgot all about your mysterious stranger until his looming presence snuck up behind her, his tall frame catching your eye the second he appeared.

Without an ounce of hesitation, he lazily draped his arm across her shoulders as he let his gaze rest on you.

Somehow his invisible grip on you grew stronger by the intensity in his eyes, your lips parting with the smallest, inaudible gasp.

“Want to introduce me to your friend?”

That voice.

Oh lord, that voice. Nearly angelic, and not at all how you had imagined it. It somehow managed to surpass whatever it was you had pictured in your mind, as there was an unexpected sweetness to his tone — one that traveled so satisfyingly through the air, soothing you like a sweet melody through all the loud noise of the party.

He kept his focus on you, never turning to his friend, not even when she tauntingly rolled her eyes while exhaling the cigarette smoke.

A sneaking warmth blossomed beneath your skin as Shoko begrudgingly introduced you to him — still never letting his eyes leave you.

He removed his arm from her shoulders to let it hover in the air in front of you. “Suguru,” he spoke softly as you accepted his hand.

You subtly drew a breath, the hairs on your neck standing straight up at the feeling of his index finger slowly traveling back and forth the inside of your wrist. Something about the small gesture, one that might be subconscious, just felt so intimate. A secret shared between just the two of you that caused sparks throughout your body.

“Pleasure,” you said, satisfaction lacing your voice as you let your eyes swipe him from top to toe.

Shoko had seen this scene before, and knew her presence wasn’t needed now that the introduction of you and Suguru had created a whole new atmosphere. As a goodbye, she gave your forearm a soft squeeze and said “don’t get too swept up, honey,” before scurrying away — a warning you were too distracted to pick up on.

“What a coincidence that you’re friends with Shoko,” Suguru said. He quickly towered over you as he spoke, just slightly hunched, exactly how you had observed him earlier that evening.

“The universe works in mysterious ways,” you shrugged.

You wished you were different — that you wouldn’t be as easily charmed by Suguru as you knew every person he interacted with was destined to be.

But you were as spellbound as the rest, trapped under his special ability to just draw one in. It was in the way he stood, the way he talked, the way he moved — all part of the appeal that so quickly sunk its claws in you.

And you could bet he was aware, wielding his charm with accuracy that had you in the palm of his hand.

He was attentive in a way you had never experienced before — he didn’t just look at you, he saw you. He didn’t just hear you, he listened to you. He didn’t just speak, he talked to you.

And it caused everything to develop at the speed of light. Before you knew it, you were wrapped up in each other’s life. Not a day went by where you didn’t at the very least talk to him.

That’s how you learned Suguru wasn’t just magnetic — he was addictive.

When you were together, which was more often than not, you had to constantly fight the urge — the need — to be as close as possible. You were petrified he would find you needy or clingy, but you just couldn’t help how your skin itched to be in contact with him. That magnetic pull you had felt the first time you met him was just as strong now, subconsciously gravitating towards him. So when you weren’t latched onto each other, you tried to feel satisfied with just having your fingertips graze his skin.

When with him, you were too high on his presence to even reflect over your behaviour. When apart, however, it was a different case entirely.

It was embarrassing really, that you found yourself counting the minutes until you were able to see him again, or how you constantly checked your phone in hopes a notification with his name attached would look back at you.

You groaned quietly, thinking none of your friends even heard, as you once again put your phone down with the screen facing the table, disappointment washing over you.

It was only when you heard them snicker you looked up to see a look travel between them, that you realised they heard — not only that, but they were fully aware of what had slowly turned into an unhealthy obsession, and they even found it amusing.

“What?” You asked, trying to play dumb.

“So, you’re dating then?”

“No!” You quickly protested, fingers tapping lightly against the back of your phone, itching to check it again, just in case.

“You’re not?”

“I’m mean-“ you cut yourself off, hoping a reasonable answer would find you.

But if anything, the slight judgemental tone in their voice only had your mind start to churn the questions you hadn’t dared ask yourself.

Were you dating?

No, you could confidently say you weren’t a couple by any means. But what did your relation really embed?

In your head, you’d just sort of assumed you were exclusive. You certainly acted as if you were. There was not any part of you that had the tiniest desire for anyone but him. But neither of you had stated so.

And what did he think? Did he consider you exclusive?

When you were with him, he gave you no reason to believe otherwise. One could even argue he was just as devoted as you were — it certainly appeared that way at least.

It was only when you were separated that an uneasy feeling welled up inside you, that this wasn’t even close to anything special to him.

When he took hours to reply, your mind had ventured down the most comfortable path of “he’s just not that big of a fan of technology”.

But you knew Suguru was fully aware of the effect he had on people. Not to mention he liked it, how he so subtly had people wrapped around his finger.

And the devastating thought hit you like a train — what if he did it on purpose? You wouldn’t put it past him to play a game that had you constantly on your toes. He would give you just enough to continue to have you hooked on him, only to go off the radar for a short period so you’d come back stronger to feed his ego.

All hell broke loose when you decided to ask.

Tired of beating around the bush, you had asked bluntly what this entire ordeal was to him.

Then the fury started to burn inside you, watching how he ran the tongue along the inside of his cheek, a small smirk tugging at his lip before his shoulders raised in a casual shrug.

“Having fun?”

You held his gaze as your breathing slowly grew more rapid.

“Are you fucking kidding me?”

“You not having fun?”

Oh, he was cruel.

Of course you were having fun, and he knew that which is exactly why he asked. He knew you’d be lying if you said anything else.

But you weren’t just having fun. You found yourself enjoying his company, even preferring it to being alone. And suddenly, when having him ask such a silly question, it hit you just how badly you were entangled in the vines of his charm.

You knew you should leave, spin around on your heal and slam the door behind you as you left him standing — but there was that pull again, keeping your feet planted in place despite the fury bubbling up inside you.

Even when he was being so inconsiderate with your feelings, you wanted to be around him. You wanted to feel his chest vibrate against your back when he spoke while you were leaned up against him, or let his fingertips travel teasing lines just under the edge of your shirt.

“Don’t dare put words in my mouth, Suguru,” you fought to keep your voice stern. “But why spend so much time with me?” You hoped the hurt you felt wasn’t too audible.

He shrugged. “Because I’m having fun with you?”

You let out a huff of disbelief, hating how nonchalantly he stood all of a sudden — shoulders slightly slumped forward and his hands stuffed in his pockets, appearing seemingly unbothered.

“I hope it’s not crazy for me to assume that’s what this was considering it all started with a hookup at a random party.”

His statement sent you whiplash back to that night.

After having flirted shamelessly for some time, you had hurried away to delve into an intimate night spent together, no idea on what it was about evolve into.

From the moment the door closed behind you, his sole focus was on worshiping every inch of your body. He was gentle where he needed to be, and rough where he needed to be. Manoeuvring with perfect precision, he gave you a night unlike any other.

What felt better, was waking up and for once not waking up with the feeling of a regretted experience — no, the regret hit now instead.

“No. No, of course not but why would you hold me like that if you were just having fun?” You couldn’t conceal the sadness in your voice anymore.

“Like what?”

“Like you care?” You asked, words falling past your lips so quietly.

He sighed deeply, and licked his lips before answering. “I do care. Just… not the way you seem to care.”

“You’re an asshole,” you said under your breath, using all the power you had to fight the pull he had to break the eye contact, turning it to your feet.

“I’m sorry if I made you believe that this was anything more than casual.”

There was that word you hated — casual, something you had distanced yourself from. Nothing you did was ever casual, always going in with your full heart in whatever you did, being both a curse and a blessing — the former being relevant right now.

“If you want to end things-“

“I do,” you cut him off, quickly tilting your head back up to look at him with glossy eyes.

“Okay,” he said softly, never stopping the act he had maintained throughout it all, that he had been genuine. “Then we end things.”

Despite everything you had thought, after having him do a full 180 and suddenly serve you such a carefree attitude, his pull on you was still strong. The grasp was still latching on, no matter how hard you tried to wring out of its grip.

It felt nearly as you had withdrawals as it started to plague your days — foot tapping quietly against the floor during class, your screen time increasing just waiting for three bubbles to pop up at the bottom of your messages, tossing and turning in bed on a Saturday evening as you pictured him sweet talking a new girl into his arms.

And it took exactly nine days for you to cave and reach out.

You felt somewhat pathetic, that the mere thought of him was enough for you to succumb to the need for him despite being so careless with your emotions.

You: wanna watch a movie?

He probably already had plans for the evening. Guys like him rarely had a Friday night without somewhere to go — however it only took a minute for the response to chime in.

Suguru: I’ll be there in 30

You drew a sharp breath at the unexpected response. Quickly jumping out of bed to clean up as nicely as you could before he arrived, because you knew he would be true to his word and stand at your door in exactly half an hour.

You just about managed to feel satisfied with yourself and your apartment before there were four rhythmic taps on the door, followed by the sound of it creaking open.

Spinning around on your heel, your heart pounded against your chest like a hummingbird once reunited with him.

“Hey,” he said as if nothing had happened. As if you hadn’t just broken zero contact after having grown dependent on it.

You cleared your throat, “hey.” Your eyes followed him as he threw his jacket over the closest chair and walked over to your couch, sitting down and making himself comfortable.

Snap out of it, you thought to yourself. He was in a way doing you a favour by pretending as if everything was smooth sailing between you, not bringing attention to how you had let his hold on you get the best of you.

“Hope I didn’t pull you from an exciting Friday evening,” you tried to joke as you fixed a bowl of chips.

“Not anything that can beat a movie night at least,” he breathed, giving you the impression that he was genuinely relaxed.

“Thriller?” You asked, knowing the answer already.

“You know it,” he smiled as you sat down beside him and placed the bowl in his lap, falling into a familiar sense of comfort.

After twenty minutes of staring at the tv, not really watching the movie, your body won over your brain. You didn’t say anything, simply nudging his arm — he obliged, and made room for you to move close and lean into his frame once again.

A wave of peace traveled you from head to toe, nearly feeling as if your body had suddenly stopped vibrating after all these days separated.

You felt calm for the first time since you had seen him last, and now knew you were doomed in a tragic cycle.

You knew you only had yourself to blame, falling into a routine one could consider unhealthy.

It played out the same way every time — given enough time, you grew impatient with his behaviour and ended up confronting him about it. He would feed you the same sorry excuse that it was all casual to him, and he acted accordingly.

Each time he spoke the word ‘casual’, you despised it more and more. You had sworn to yourself you never wanted to be involved in anything that would be considered ‘casual’. And each time you exploded with emotions before storming out, ending things yet again, you desperately tried to cling onto that promise.

Then, when you once again caved to the need to see him, you would feel so extremely pathetic, a hopeless victim to his charm.

You would send an innocent text asking to meet up again, and the evening ended in his warm embrace — and for that evening, when his body soothed you into a comfort you had sorely missed, you let yourself forget for a split second what it had cost you, but before too long the cycle would start over.

You couldn’t help it, that unexplainable force that held you captive in his orbit was as strong as the first moment you spotted him all those weeks ago.

It was all made worse by the fact that it was always you who gave in. Never him. You gave him exactly what he wanted, which was also what he deserved the least.

Was the self loathing worth the bliss he provided? Up until now you hadn’t been able to decide — but he had finally managed to run you dry of patience.

“This is the last time, Suguru.” You surprised yourself by how determined you sounded, nearly certain you could rely on yourself that you were serious this time around.

“Okay, if that’s what you want,” he said, making it sound earnest — but both of you knew he was positive you’d pop up in his messages in about a week.

“I mean it!”

“I believe you.” He didn’t.

And it was in that moment, when the sound of your heart breaking echoed in your ears, you were finally able to let Shoko’s warning sink in. The very one that had flown right over your head that night — don’t get too swept up, honey.

You’d been played for a fool, and you had let it happen. This was his MO, his pattern, and you had ignored any toxic signs because you simply couldn’t go a day without him.

“You know, you really make me feel crap about myself sometimes,” you swallowed, hindering the sob that harboured in your throat to erupt.

For a split second you could have sworn you saw guilt washing over him and causing his jaw to clench with discomfort. But it disappeared as quickly as it had spawned, switched out with that softness that resided in his eyes that you had come to learn was nothing but an act.

“That’s never been my intention.”

You scoffed the second his “apology” was uttered into existences. “Whatever,” you sniffled as you picked up your bag and tossed it over your shoulder.

He waited for you to say something else, like another mean comment or at the very least a goodbye — anything he could bounce off of.

But it never came, and he simply watched you turn your back to him, walk away and leave him alone in his apartment.

Suguru felt small after you left. He always did. When you weren’t there to accompany him, his home suddenly became too big for just him and he felt a strange sensation of loneliness.

He tried to shake off the feeling and settle into the safety of your routine. He was positive you would come back to him and you’d sleep next to him again.

It had intentionally gone completely unsaid that Suguru found you to be just as addictive as you found him.

He had been aware of the fact since the party, but he’d had the privilege of ignoring the itching feeling because you always caved first.

You didn’t know how he, much like you, picked up his phone a dozen times an hour during your separations, only to put it back down while his leg kept bouncing with agitation.

You didn’t know how the simplest of things reminded him of you, like when he turned the tv on and the volume was always louder than expected because you’d had to turn it up in order to hear it over your conversations.

You didn’t know how he had found one of your hair ties on his bathroom sink one day when he was cleaning, and he had slipped it on around his wrist without a second thought, ready to go whenever he put his hair up.

There had been a satisfaction — a contentment — when you ended up returning, giving him exactly what he so desperately craved just moments before he was about to give into his desires.

Now, when you finally decided to stay true to your word, the loneliness he felt had come to stay, residing deep in his bones when his phone never chimed with the familiar sound of your personalised notification.

Never before could he remember truly wanting someone else’s attention like he did yours, and you had spoiled him by giving it to him without him having to ask. But now the request for you to spare it to him was threateningly close to becoming a reality.

The yearning for your focus on him again had his fingers type out message after message, which all ended up deleted before ever hitting send.

He felt the same sense of patheticness you had felt throughout the entirety of your relationship. And he hated it.

He was perfectly fine with letting previous conquest go, having indulged enough in the attention he bathed in while they were around by the time they grew tired of his behaviour. Somehow he had found a balance he could live with.

Only for you to offset said balance with longing gazes thrown in his direction across the room, the palpable tension nearly suffocating whenever you shared the same space. A new sensation had started to spark throughout his body when being near you, and yes, he had become dependant on it.

Was this how you had felt every time? Growing so restless for his touch that you threw any self restraint out the window just to have that feeling again? Did you feel it now, in this very moment?

The answer was no — not this time around.

Every other time you had so abruptly left him, hoping your words would lead him down a path of reflection, you had definitely grown antsy. You hadn’t been able to keep still for a single second.

This time, however, was a whole lot different.

Instead of checking your phone religiously, you let it lay face down on your desk.

Instead of pacing around your room in a desperate attempt to not contact him, you rotted in your bed under your covers.

And instead of thinking of him with annoyance tainting your opinion, you thought of him with silent tears.

This time around, you would dare say you were genuinely heartbroken.

Determined to stand your ground, a newfound melancholy decided to sprout inside you. Despite hating yourself a little every time you had decided to return to him, it had lured you into a false sense of comfort. When you knew you’d eventually find yourself back in his embrace, you never gave the sadness enough time to set proper root.

Once surrendered to the reality, it didn’t take long for the sorrow to envelop you the way his arms used to.

It was a Saturday evening, and during your time with Suguru you would usually have retreated to yourself by this hour. And now you were just lying in your bed with your headphones on, the music playing and taking you down memory lane.

When that song came on shuffle, it immediately catapulted you back to an evening not too long ago.

It was one of his favourites, and it played softly from the speakers throughout his room. He was lied on his back on his bed, bare chested while you straddled him, wearing nothing but panties and his oversized t-shirt.

His big hands were resting on your thighs, while your dainty ones were slowly drawing lines along his muscular chest.

“Looks good on you,” he said nodding towards his shirt.

“Think so?” You mused, trapping your bottom lip between your teeth.

“Mhmm,” his long fingers squeezing the plush skin of your thighs.

“Thought you were more of the lingerie kinda guy,” you shrugged playfully. He was already shaking his head no before your sentence had come out in full.

“No. No, this is better,” he breathed, eyes traveling your body as he adjusted under you, pulling a soft yelp from your lips. “A lot better.”

“Oh? How so?”

“Because it’s mine.” Heat spread across your cheeks, a giddy smile stretching in response. His fingers came up to capture your chin, slowly pulling your face closer to his. You could feel his smirk as his breath fanned your lips. “And so are you.”

Pulled from your memories, your breath hitched in your throat at the sound of the door bell.

Nowhere inside you did you have the willpower to answer, only groaning to yourself and pulling the duvet over your head. Not even a minute later, it rang again, followed by three loud knocks.

You ignored it, hoping whoever was at the door would eventually assume you weren’t home. But when determined knocks were heard a third time, it became evident your visitor wasn’t going to leave until you opened the door.

Begrudgingly stumbling out of your bed, you slowly shuffled in the direction of the front door, taking your time which made the stranger knock both a fourth and fifth time.

With your hand on the handle you took a deep sigh as you prepared yourself to meet another human being. You swung the door open, Suguru’s fist hovering in the air as he was about to knock once again.

His entire body released tension he wasn’t aware had been stored there once he was reunited with your sight, lips parting with a quiet breath of relief.

“Suguru,” you said. It was so airy he nearly missed you saying it at all, but it was enough to set of a spark of euphoria — however, it was cut short when you once again opened your mouth only to say “I don’t want to see you.”

“Don’t lie to me,” he responded with nothing but sentimentality in is voice.

Your mouth shut abruptly, any protest being trapped behind the back of your teeth — because of course you were lying. There wasn’t anything you wanted more than to see him. And he saw right through you.

“Please leave.” It came out as a sad plea, tainted with exhaustion and Suguru started to understand just how badly he had hurt you while he was busy living in denial. “I need you to leave.”

“I can’t,” he said in a low voice.

You let out a deep sigh in frustrated. “Suguru, I am asking you nicely to turn around and leave.”

Your heart was pounding against its cage, body growing tired as you yet again used all your strength to fight the pull.

“I’m telling you I can’t.”

Was he trying to be cruel? Being difficult for the sake of being difficult by taking advantage of your pain? Or had he just missed the attention?

You let your hand slide up the door, hoping the grip you had on it would give you some sort of support in the emotionally turbulent scene that was about to take place.

“You have no idea,” another frustrated sigh, “how hard it is for me to not just… surrender to you again.”

“But I do know.”

“Oh, do you know?” You couldn’t help but scoff tauntingly. He really was just having a laugh, showing up at your door to confirm that you were still wrapped up in the gorgeous package that was Suguru Geto so his ego wasn’t bruised.

He straightened his posture to stand taller, more confident. “Can I come in?”

Say no, say no, say no.

“Okay,” you croaked, hesitating to step aside to let him in. It felt like such a defeat. You had actually managed, against all odds, to fight the invisible leashes that had dragged you closer and closer — but in the blink of an eye, your defences were wearing down.

You closed the door behind him, eyes following him as he walked further into the room before turning around to face you and suddenly it looked as if he was a little at a loss on what to do or say.

Once inside, he had the opportunity to see you fully without hiding behind the door, and he hated what he saw.

You appeared nearly timid — swimming in your huge hoodie, you had your arms loosely wrapped around yourself, big eyes staring up at him with a delicate red rim and your nose the faintest tint of pink, all evidence of sadness — sadness caused by him.

“Why are you here?”

“Because I can’t stay away.”

“Are you making fun of me?” You sniffled, blinking away the tears that had started to form.

“Never,” he responded immediately.

A sad smile painted your face, because you simply didn’t believe him. How could you? When reflecting over your relationship in the light of your heartbreak, you couldn’t see how any of his words or behaviour would lead you to believe he was genuine. Then he said your name in a way that nearly convinced you otherwise.

“I can’t stay away,” he repeated calmly.

“Yeah, so you said,” you hugged your arms tighter around yourself. “But I don’t believe you,” you stuttered.

“There’s this unexplainable pull-“ your breath hitched once again as the start of his confession sounded a little too relatable for your liking. “I can’t help but crave your company.”

“This isn’t funny, Suguru,” you forced out.

“I’m not trying to be, either,” his voice was still calm, as if it would somehow trick him to think he was in more control of his own emotions than he really was. “You have this power over me, and being away from you is suffocating.”

“Then why’d always let me leave?”

The question caught him off guard. It wasn’t what he had expected to leave your mouth next, and now he was desperately searching for the right thing to answer.

“I didn’t think I’d want you to come back. I never have before.”

It probably wasn’t his intention, but his words stung, cutting oh-so-deep and leaving open wounds in their wake.

“So, really, you’re just an asshole?”

Again you surprised him, eyebrows narrowing in confusion. “What?”

“All this time, you’ve needed my company the way I have yours-“

“Yes, that’s what I’m trying to say.” It nearly went unnoticed, but there was a hint of desperation to his statement.

“I’m not finished,” you huffed, steadying the quiver that had found its way into your voice. “You’ve needed my company like I need yours, and yet you let me believe you were only pursuing this casually. That you were basically using me.”

“But I wasn’t using you. Not ever.”

“But you pretended as if you were.”

With a sigh he pressed his lips together as he knew he couldn’t lie to himself anymore. You were absolutely right. He had, without hesitation, let you believe he didn’t care due to his own pride and selfishness. And he had watched you throw your dignity out the window every time you came crawling back, just because his desire was fulfilled.

“I’m here now,” he breathed, desperately hoping you could see how severe his yearning truly was.

Your eyes flittered across his face carved by the gods, before letting your gaze travel to his arms. It was so tempting to step forward so they could pull you into a warm embrace, a feeling your skin burned to feel again.

I’m here now — his words echoing in your mind. Everything about this moment was pulling you closer and closer to falling over the edge again. You had almost started to believed you possessed a strength you never knew you had when you’d managed to keep a safe distance from that edge, but it didn’t take more than tiny sprinkles of his attention to have you stand with your toes off the cliff.

You opened your mouth to speak, a decline fighting its way up your throat. But you closed your mouth again when you realised the sentence wouldn’t be spoken into reality.

“Every time we took a break from… whatever this has been,” he said gesturing between you, “I grew restless, I didn’t sleep. I was so close to contacting you, but I was just lucky you always reached out first.”

“So what is it you want from me?”

“You.”

Silence fell between you. You could feel it, how you were about to lose all restraint again — and how scared it made you.

Was everything he said now all a lie in order to have you return to him, just so you could scratch that itch he had to be wanted, desired, above all else? If you gave in now, would you ever be able to pull away again?

But god forbid he was earnest. That thought was more terrifying.

You could only begin to image what that would look like. If you both gave into your true feelings and cravings, not hiding behind any facades anymore, the passion would be all consuming. There was no escaping his orbit then.

You took a deep breath through your nose, before breaking the silence.

“Tell me again.”

“I want you.”

author's note : suguru my love... giving him some well deserved attention. this took a whole lot longer than anticipated as it also turned out longer than i thought hehe comments and reblogs are appreciated

tags (open — link to taglist form) : @sad-darksoul . @madaqueue . @toadtoru . @hiraethwa . @harperluvgojo . @nishislcve . @ichore

©hiraethwrote 2025 . all rights reserved. reposting, translating and otherwise plagarisim is prohibited

[mariacallous]

A short note here on what I’m covering and why. The political changes we’re seeing across the world are underpinned by technological ones that are now accelerating. For more than a decade, I’ve been trying to investigate and expose these forces. Since 2016 that’s included following a thread that led from Brexit to Trump via a shady data company called Cambridge Analytica and the revelation of a profound threat exploit at the heart of our democracies. But what’s happening now in the US is a paradigm shift: this is Broligarchy, a concept I coined last summer when I warned that what we were seeing was the proposed merger of Silicon Valley with state power. That has now happened. Writing about this from the UK, it’s clear we have a choice: we help lead the fight back against it. Or it comes for us next. Please share this with family and friends if you feel it’s of value. Thank you, as ever, Carole

Let me say this more clearly: what is happening right now, in America, in real time, is a coup.

This is an information war and this is what a coup now looks like.

Musk didn’t need a tank, guns, soldiers. He had a small crack cyber unit that he sent into the Treasury department last weekend. He now has unknown quantities of the entire US nation’s most sensitive data and potential backdoors into the system going forward. Treasury officials denied that he had access but it then turned out that he did. If it ended there, it would be catastrophic. But that unit - whose personnel include a 19-year-old called “Big Balls” - is now raiding and scorching the federal government, department by department, scraping its digital assets, stealing its data, taking control of the code and blowing up its administrative apparatus as it goes.

This is what an unlawful attack on democracy in the digital age looks like. It didn’t take armed men, just Musk’s taskforce of boy-men who may be dweebs and nerds but all the better to plunder the country’s digital resources. This was an organised, systematic, jailbreak on one of the United States’ most precious and sensitive resources: the private data of its citizens.

In 2019, I appeared in a Netflix documentary, The Great Hack. That’s a good place to start to understand what is going on now, but it wasn’t the great hack. It was among the first wave of major tech exploits of global elections. It was an exemplar of what was possible: the theft and weaponization of 87 million people’s personal data. But this now is the Great Hack. This week is when the operating system of the US was wrenched open and is now controlled by a private citizen under the protection of the President.

If you think I’ve completely lost it, please be advised that I’m far from alone in saying this. The small pools of light in the darkness of this week has been stumbling across individual commentators saying this for the last week. Just because these words are not on the front page in banner headlines of any newspaper doesn’t mean this isn’t not happening. It is.

In fact, there has been relentless, assiduous, detailed reporting in all outlets across America. There are journalists who aren’t eating or sleeping and doing amazing work tracking what’s happening. There is fact after fact after fact about Musk’s illegal pillaging of the federal government. But news organisation leaders are either falling for the distraction story - the most obviously insane one this week being rebuilding Gaza as a luxury resort, a story that dominated headlines and political oxygen for days. Or…what? Being unable to actually believe that this is what an authoritarian takeover looks like? Being unsure of whether you put the headline about the illegal coup d’etat next to a spring season fashion report? Above or below the round-up of best rice cookers? The fact is the front pages look like it’s business as normal when it’s anything but.

This was Ruth Ben-Ghiat on Tuesday. She’s a historian of fascism and authoritarianism at New York University and she said this even before some of this week’s most extreme events had taken place. (A transcript of the rest of her words here.)

“It’s very unusual. In my study of authoritarian states, it's only really after a coup that you see such a speed, such obsessive haste to purge bureaucracy so quickly. Or when somebody is defending themselves, like Erdogan after the coup attempt against him, massive purge immediately. So that's unusual. I don't have another reference point for a private individual coming in, infiltrating, trying to turn government to the benefit of his businesses and locking out and federal employees. It is a coup. I'm a historian of coups, and I would also use that word. So we're in a real emergency situation for our democracy.”

A day later, this was Tim Snyder, Yale, a Yale professor and another great historian of authoritarianism, here: “Of course it’s a coup.”

History was made this week and while reporters are doing incredible work, to understand it our guides are historians, those who’ve lived in authoritarian states and Silicon Valley watchers. They are saying it. What I’ve learned from investigating and reporting on Silicon Valley’s system-level hack of our democracy for eight long years and seeing up close the breathtaking impunity and entitlement of the men who control these companies is that they break laws and they get away with it. And then lie about it afterwards. That’s the model here.

Everything that I’ve ever warned about is happening now. This is it. It’s just happening faster than anyone could have imagined.

It’s not that what’s happening is simply unlawful. This is what David Super, an administrative law professor at Georgetown Law School told the Washington Post.

“So many of these things are so wildly illegal that I think they’re playing a quantity game and assuming the system can’t react to all this illegality at once.”

And he’s right. The system can’t and isn’t. Legal challenges are being made and even upheld but there’s no guarantee or even sign that Musk is going to honour them. That’s one of the most chilling points my friend, Mark Bergman, made to me over the weekend.

Last week, I included a voice note from my friend, tech investor turned tech campaigner, Roger McNamee, so you could hear direct from an expert about the latest developments in AI. This week I’ve asked Mark to do the honours.

He’s a lawyer, Washington political insider, and since last summer, he’s been participating in ‘War Game’ exercises with Defense Department officials, three-star generals, former Cabinet Secretaries and governors. In five exercises involving 175 people, they situation-tested possible scenarios of a Trump win. But they didn’t see this. It’s even worse than they feared.

“Those challenges have been in respect of shutting down agencies, firing federal employees and engaging in the most egregious hack of government. It all at the hand hands of DOGE, Musk and his band of tech engineers. DC right now is shell-shocked. It is a government town, USA, ID, the FBI, the Department of Justice, Department of Homeland Security, CIA, no federal agency will be spared the revenge and retribution tours in full swing, and huge numbers have been put on administrative leave, reassigned or fired, and the private sector is as much at risk, particularly NGOs and civil society organizations. The more high-profile violate the law, which is why the courts have been quick to enjoin actions. “So yes, we've experienced a coup, not the old fashioned kind, no tanks or mobs, but an undemocratic and hostile takeover of government. It is cruel, it is petty. It can be brutal. It is at once chaotic and surgical. We said the institutions held in 2020 but behind institutions or people, and the extent to which all manner of power structures have preemptively obeyed is hugely worrying. There are legions ready to carry out the Trump agenda. The question is, will the rule of law hold?”

Last Tuesday, Musk tried to lay off the entire CIA. That’s the government body with the slogan ‘We are the nation’s first line of defense’. Every single employee has been offered an unlawful ‘buyout’ - what we call redundancy in the UK - or what 200 former employees - spies - have said is blatant attempt to rebuild it as a political enforcement unit. Over the weekend, the Washington Post reports that new appointees are being presented with “loyalty tests”.

Musk’s troops - because that’s what they are, mercenaries - are acting in criminal, unlawful, unconstitutional ways. Organisations are acting quickly, taking lawsuits, and for now the courts are holding. But the key essential question is whether their rulings can be enforced with a political weaponized Department of Justice and FBI. What Mark Bergman told me (and is in the extended note below) is that they’ve known since the summer that there would be almost no way of pushing back against Trump. This politicisation of all branches of law enforcement creates a vacuum at the heart of the state. As he says in that note, the ramifications of this are little understood outside the people inside Washington who study this for a living.

And at least some of what DOGE is doing can never be undone. Musk, a private citizen, now has vast clouds of citizens’ data, their personal information and it seems likely, classified material. When data is out there, it’s out there. That genie can never be put back into the bottle.

Itt’s what it’s possible to do with that data, that the real nightmare begins. What machine learning algorithms and highly personalised targeting can do. It’s a digital coup. An information coup. And we have to understand what that means. Our fleshy bodies still inhabit earthly spaces but we are all, also, digital beings too. We live in a hybrid reality. And for more than a decade we have been targets of hybrid warfare, waged by hostile nation states whose methodology has been aped and used against us by political parties in a series of disrupted elections marked by illegal behaviour and a lack of any enforcement. But this now takes it to the next level.

It facilitates a concentration of wealth and power - because data is power - of a kind the world has never seen before.

Facebook’s actual corporate motto until 2014 taken from words Mark Zuckerberg spoke was “Move fast and break things”. That phrase has passed into commonplace: we know it, we quote it, we also fail to understand what that means. It means: act illegally and get away with it.

And that is the history of Silicon Valley. Its development and cancerous growth is marked by series of larcenous acts each more grotesque than the last. And Musk’s career is an exemplar of that, a career that has involved rampant criminality, gross invasions of privacy, stock market manipulation. And lies. The Securities and Exchange Commission is currently suing Musk for failing to disclose his ownership stock before he bought Twitter. The biggest mistake right now is to believe anything he says.

Every time, these companies have broken the law, they have simply gotten away with it. I know I’m repeating this, but it’s central to understanding both the mindset and what’s happening on the ground. And no-one exemplifies that more than Musk. The worst that has happened to him is a fine. A slap on the wrist. An insignificant line on a balance sheet. The “cost of doing business”.

On Friday, Robert Reich, the former United States Secretary of Labor, who’s been an essential voice this week, told the readers of his Substack to act now and call their representatives.

“Friends, we are in a national emergency. This is a coup d’etat. Elon Musk was never authorized by Congress to do anything that he’s doing, he was never even confirmed by Congress, his so-called Department of Government Efficiency was never authorized by Congress. Your representatives, your senators and Congressmen have never given him authority to do what he is doing, to take over government departments, to take over entire government agencies, to take over government payments system itself to determine for himself what is an appropriate payment. To arrogate to himself the authority to have your social security number, your private information? Please. Listen, call Congress now.”

It’s a coup

I found myself completely poleaxed on Wednesday. I read this piece on the New York Times website first thing in the morning, a thorough and alarming analysis of headlined “Trump Brazenly Defies Laws in Escalating Executive Power Grab”. It quoted Peter M. Shane, who is a legal scholar in residence at New York University, “programmatic sabotage and rampant lawlessness.” It was displayed prominently on the front page of the New York Times but it was also just one piece among many, a small weak signal amid the overpowering noise.

There’s another word for an “Executive Power Grab”, it’s a coup. And newspapers need to actually write that in big black letters on their front pages and tell their tired, busy, overwhelmed, distracted, scared readers what is happening. That none of this is “business as usual.”

Over on the Guardian’s UK website on Wednesday, there was not a single mention on the front page of what was happening. Trump’s Gaza spectacular diversion strategy drowned out its quotient of American news. We just weren’t seeing what’s happening in the seat of government of our closest ally. As a private citizen mounted a takeover of the cornerstone superpower of the international rules-based order, our crucial NATO ally, our biggest single trading partner, the UK government didn’t even apparently notice.

The downstream potential international consequences of what is happening in America are profound and terrifying. That our government and much of the media is asleep at the wheel is a reason to be more not less terrified. Musk has made his intentions towards our democracy and national security quite clear. What he hasn’t yet had is the backing of the US state. That is shortly going to change. One of the first major stand-offs will be UK and EU tech regulation. I hope I’m wrong but it seems pretty obvious that’s what Musk’s Starmer-aimed tweets are all about. There seems no world in which the EU and the UK aren’t headed for the mother of all trade wars.

And that’s before we even consider the national security ramifications. The prime minister should be convening Cobra now. The Five Eyes - the intelligence sharing network of the US, UK, New Zealand, Australia and Canada - is already likely breached. Trump is going to do individual deals with all major trading partners that’s going to involve preposterous but real threats, including likely dangling the US’s membership of NATO over our heads all while Russia watches, waits and knows that we’ve done almost nothing to prepare. Plans to increase our defence spending have been made but not yet implemented. Our intelligence agencies do understand the precipice we’re on but there’s no indication the government is paying any attention to them. The risks are profound. The international order as we know it is collapsing in real time.

It’s a coup

We all know that the the first thing that happens when a dictator seizes power is that he (it’s always a he) takes control of the radio station. Musk did that months ago. It wasn’t that Elon Musk buying Twitter pre-ordained what is now happening but it made it possible. And it was the moment, minutes after Trump was shot and he went full-in on his campaign that signalled the first shot fired in his digital takeover.

It’s both a mass propaganda machine and also the equivalent of an information drone with a deadly payload. It’s a weapon that’s already been turned on journalists and news organisations this week. There’s much more to come.

On Friday, Musk started following Wikileaks on Twitter. Hours later, twisted, weaponized leaks from USAID began.

This is going to get so much worse. Musk and MAGA will see this as the opening of the Stasi archive. It’s not. It’s rocketfuel for a witchhunt. It’s hybrid warfare against the enemies of the state. It’s going to be ugly and cruel and its targets are going to need help and support. Hands across the water to my friends at OCCRP, the Overseas Crime and Corruption Reporting Project, an investigative journalism organisation that uncovers transnational crime, that’s been in Musk’s sights this weekend, one of hundreds of media organisations around the world whose funding has been slashed overnight.

It’s a coup

By now you may feel scared and helpless. It’s how I felt this week. I had the same sick feeling I had watching UK political coverage before the pandemic. The government was just going to ignore the wave of deaths rippling from China to Italy and pretend it wasn’t happening? Really? That’s the plan?

This is another pandemic. Or a Chernobyl. It’s a bomb at the heart of the international order whose toxic fallout is going to inevitably drift our way.

My internal alarm bell, a sense of urgency and anxiety goes even further back. To early 2017, when I uncovered information about Cambridge Analytica’s illegal hack of data from Facebook while the company’s VP, Steve Bannon, was then on the National Security Council. That concept of highly personalised data in the control of a ruthless and political operator was what tripped my emergency wires. That is a reality now.

The point is that the shock and awe is meant to make us feel helpless. So I’m telling a bit of my own personal story here. Because part of what temporarily paralyzed me last week was that this is all happening while my own small corner of the mainstream media is collapsing in on itself too. The event that I’ve spent the last eight years warning about has come to pass and in a month, 100+ of my colleagues at the Guardian will be out of the door and my employment will be terminated. I will no longer have the platform of the news organisation where I’ve done my entire body of work to date and was able to communicate to a global audience.

But then, it’s all connected. We are living through an information crisis. It’s what underpins everything. In some ways, this happening now is not surprising at all. Moreover, many of the people who I see as essential voices during this crisis (including those above) are doing that effectively and independently from Substack as I will try to continue to do.

And, the key thing that the last eight years has given me is information. The lawsuit I fought for four years as a result of doing this work very almost floored me. But it didn’t. And I’ve learned essential skills during those years. It was part of what powered me to fight for the rights of Guardian journalists during our strike this December.

The next fightback against Musk and the Broligarchy has to draw from the long, long fight for workers rights which in turn influenced the fight for civil rights that must now power us on as we face the great unknown. What comes next has to be a fight for our data rights, our human rights.

This was former Guardian journalist Gary Younge on our picket line and I’ve thought about these words a lot. You have to fight even if you won’t necessarily win. Power is almost never given up freely.

If you value any of this and want me to be able to continue, I’d be really grateful if you signed up, free, or even better, paid subscription. And I’d also urge you to sign up also for the Citizen Dispatch, that’s the newsletter from the non-profit I founded that campaigns around these issues. There is much more it can and needs to do.

[nanobubblepool]

Dive into the clarity of an oxygenated pool system; enjoy a pure, revitalizing swim without the harsh effects of chlorine. For more information, go to our official website.

[bethanythebogwitch]

Wet Beast Wednesday: lungfish

It's time for a family reunion featuring a very, very distant cousin (about 420 million years distant) you may have never met before. Today's Wet Beast Wednesday topic is about one of the last lobe-finned fish. Sort of. You see, all tetrapods, including yourself, are lobe-finned fish whose ancestors decided to leave the water and ended up becoming the first reptiles, amphibians, and mammals over the course of millions of years. Of the lobe-finned fish who stayed in the water, only two lineages have survived to the modern day: the coelacanths and the lungfish. I covered the coelacanth in a previous WBW, so now I'll look at lungfish too.

(Image: the West African lungfish Protopterus annectens lying on sand in an aquarium. It is a long, cylindrical, eel-like fish with wispy, noodle-like pectoral and pelvic fins. Its dorsal fin runs down the back and connects with the tail fin. Its head is rounded, with a short, blunt snout. Its body is brown with darker spots. End ID)

The lungfish are members of the class Dipnoi and there are 6 living species across three families: the Australian lungfish of family Neoceratodontidae, the South American lungfish of family Lepidosirenidae, and 4 species of African lungfish in family Protopteridae. They all share some common features, including a long, heavy, and cylindrical body, unique teeth, and lungs. The Australian lungfish has a single lung while all the others have two. The lungs allow them to breathe air. While there are other air-breathing fish around, they use a modified swim bladder as a lung that is a simple sac. The lungs of lungfish are still modified swim bladders, but they are divided into multiple changers that vastly increases the surface area available for gas exchange. This is far closer in structure to the lungs of tetrapods and represents an early stage in the evolution of lungs. Lungfish also have gills, but they are small and insufficient at providing all the oxygen the fish needs, forcing them to breathe air. The exception to this is the Australian lungfish, which has more developed gills and doesn't need to breathe air. Lungfish have unique teeth that from plates used to crush through hard-shelled prey. Lungfish are non-selective omnivores. Their digestive tracts are simple and lack true stomachs. Instead, the intestine contains a corkscrew-shaped section called a spiral valve that increases the surface area for nutrient absorption. Most species have very small, threadlike pelvic and pectoral fins. All living species are freshwater fish.

(Image: a marbled lungfish Protopterus aethiopicus. It has a similar body plan to the above picture, but its body is pale yellow color covered with large, grey spots. It is poking its snout into rocky sediment. End ID)

The Australian lungfish (Neoceratodus forsteri) or barramunda is the most primitive lungfish species and has changed very little in the past 100 million years. It is native to streams and pools in the Burnett and Mary river systems of Queensland, but has been introduced to other rivers. They are notable for having more robust bodies and more developed pectoral and pelvic fins than the other lungfish species. Their air breathing supplements their gills and allows them to survive dry seasons where their pools often become shallow and hypoxic. This gives the lungfish the ability to thrive in pools other animals struggle in. Unlike other lungfish, the barramunda cannot survive dry season on land. They can survive for several days out of the water as long as they stay wet, but will die if on land too long. Aussie lungfish are nocturnal and primarily carnivorous, feeding on frogs, fish, and various invertebrates, occasionally supplementing its diet with plants and algae. They can grow up to 150 cm (4.9 ft) and 43 kg (95 lbs) though most are smaller.

(image: an Australian lungfish lying on sand. It has a broader and more robust body than the other species, with more prominent scales. its body is a brown color. End ID)

Barramundas mate in spring and summer. They have an elaborate courtship ritual that occurs in three stages. In the first stage, they will swim in circles near aquatic plants while breathing more loudly than usual. In the second stage, one or more males will follow a female while nudging her with his snout. Sometimes the males will wave bits of plants around with their mouths. During the third stage, the female and her chosen mate enter plant patches to mate. The pair will lay on their sides or entwine themselves with each other. The female lays her eggs on plants and the male fertilizes them as they come out. They provide no parental care. The eggs hatch after a few weeks into larvae that look a lot like tadpoles but with internal gills. They develop slowly and eat plankton, small worms, and algae. It can take up to 20 years for a lungfish to reach sexual maturity and they can live for a very long time. The oldest aquarium fish on record was an Australian lungfish named Granddad, who died at 109. The oldest living aquarium fish is another Aussie lungfish named Methuselah who is estimated to be 93. She lives in the Steinhart Aquarium at the California Academy of Sciences. We stan a golden girl.

(image: Methuselah in her open-topped tank. An aquarium worker is inspecting her. One had is under her chin while the other is laying on top of her back. End ID)

The four species of African lungfish are very eel-like in appearance, much more slender than the Australian lungfish, with less prominent scales. Of them, not much is known about the gilled lungfish (Protopterus amphibius) or the spotted lungfish (Protopterus dolloi), though the gilled lungfish is the smallest, reaching only about 44 cm (17 in). The marbled lungfish (Protopterus aethiopicus) has grey to light pink skin covered with dark splotches, giving them a leopard-like pattern that helps them camouflage against light coming into the water. They likely primarily use their gills for respiration, with air-breathing being used as a supplement. The marbled lungfish has the largest genome of any animal and the 4th largest of any organism, with 133 billion base pairs. The marbled lungfish can get up to 2 m (6.6 ft) long. The most well-studied African lungfish is the West African lungfish (Protopterus annectens). They have a unique ability to use their pelvic fins to lift their bodies and walk around on the substrate. They can only do this when submerged, being too heavy to walk on land. They will still move over land though, wriggling between pools. It can reach up to 1 m (3.3 ft) long.

(Image: a spotted lungfish in a tank. It looks very similar to the West African lungfish, but with dark spots. End ID)

(Image: a gilled lungfish. It has the same body plan as the other African species, but is smaller and its body is a yellowish color, with dark speckles. End ID)

Traits all African Lungfish share is their method of reproduction and their ability to survive dry periods. During mating season, the male will make a nest for the female to lay her eggs in. After laying, the female leaves and the male will remain to guard the nest. He will continue to do so after the eggs hatch. Larval lungfish look like tadpoles, complete with external gills. They feed on worms, plankton, and algae as they grow. Once the larvae develop to the point of losing their external gills and growing internal ones, the father will leave them to fend for themselves. The process can take several months. All African lungfish have the ability to survive drought.. When their streams and ponds dry up, the lungfish can burrow into the mud and secrete a cocoon of mucus around themselves, including into their mouths. The mucus entering the mouth allows them to keep their gills wet. The cocoon will harden and the lungfish will enter a state called aestivation, which is similar to hibernation. During this period, metabolic activity drops considerably and the lungfish switches from producing ammonia as waste to the less toxic urea. Lungfish can survive for years in this state, only to emerge once the rains come back and their habitats are flooded again. There are stories of people cutting up dried mud to use as building material, only for lungfish to start crawling out of their walls once it rains.

(image: a CGI model of a lungfish in its cocoon. It is buried in dirt in a cavity with a tunnel leading to the surface. The lungfish is in the cavity and wrapped around itself with its head facing up. It is surrounded by slimy mucus. End ID. Source unknown)

Despite having a very wide distribution consisting of the Amazon, Paraguay, and lower Paraná river basins, very little is known about the South American lungfish (Lepidosiren paradoxa). It is more closely related to the African lungfishes than the Australian lungfish. It appears that the anatomy and lifestyle of the South American Lungfish is very similar to that of its African relatives, to the point some taxonomists have suggested both groups should be in the same family.

(image: a South American lungfish swimming. It looks very similar to the African species, but with yellowish spots around its head. End ID)

The Australian lungfish is classified as endangered by the IUCN, while the other species are all classified as least concern. The Australian Lungfish is threatened by damming and changes to the rivers it lives in, as well as the non-native Mozambique tilapia. The larger African species and the South American lungfish are fished in their range to be used as food, though apparently not to the extent that it is significantly harming their population. That being said, lungfish are slow-growing animals that can take a long time to reach sexual maturity. Species like that have a harder time repopulating after a population loss.

Once again I have an excuse to use one of these cards. (Image: the Weird n' Wild Creatures card for the West African Lungfish, featuring a drawing of the animal on a green background and various facts printed around the card. End ID)

[fishyfishyfishtimes]

I saw the tuna post. Genuine inquiry: can you please share some of your favorite tuna facts?

Gladly! I already shared some of my favourites, but I can describe them in further detail.

There are 15 species in the Thunnini tribe (the tunas), split between five genera. Most tunas, eight species, are in the genus Thunnus, which is also called “true tunas”! The biggest of them all, Atlantic bluefin tuna, has been reported to reach a maximum size of 4.6 m/15 feet and 900 kg/~2 000 lbs. Read that again. Really take it in. The largest tuna ever measured and weighed were longer than two Shaquille O’Neals stacked on top of one another, and weighed over six Shaquille O’Neals! (I hear people like hearing measurements in Shaquille O'Neals.)

Naturally tuna don't always reach such gargantuan sizes, the average Atlantic and Pacific bluefins are around the two meter/~6.5 feet length range. The average southern bluefin, yellowfin, bigeye tuna and albacore are all around one to two meters long (~3 feet to ~6.5 feet), and one of the more common tuna species to be eaten (especially canned), skipjack tuna, is 80 cm/31 inches long on average. Still, that's not tiny! It's twice as big as your average largemouth bass or pike.

Like I described in my original tuna post, everything about tunas is evolved for speed. Their lunate tail has little surface area to minimise drag in the water. Near their tail they have stabilising horizontal keels. Their dorsal fin has a special groove in the body where it can be tucked completely hidden. Tunas can also tuck in their pelvic fins when they swim at great speeds, less fins sticking out meaning more hydrodynamic shape! Of course though, fins are great for controlling where you're swimming and when you're doing sharp turns: to keep their turns as hard as possible, it has been found that (at least Pacific bluefin and yellowfin) tunas actually use their lymphatic system to pump their dorsal and anal fins full of fluid! The fluid forces the fins into an erect and extremely stiff position that gives the tunas plenty support to stop in their tracks in the water and turn around. A wonderful LiveScience article says it best, making turns with stiff fins versus floppy fins is like "the difference between trying to turn a canoe with a pool noodle versus a sturdy wooden oar."

Tunas have red flesh unlike the white flesh of most fish, and that's because they're simply jam packed full of myoglobin. Swimming continuously and especially swimming at lightning speeds for even a small amount of time takes up a lot of oxygen, and the tuna's blood can bind a lot of it! Also, most interestingly, the circulation system of tunas is set up in such a way that heat produced from their metabolism is retained to heat the body in what is called countercurrent heat exchange. I'll explain this in a lengthier way.

Usually, when blood travels to the peripheries of a fish's body -- even if it was warmed by the fish's metabolic processes -- tends to cool down as it moves closer and closer to the outside world, i.e. the water surrounding the fish. When the blood travels back to the heart and the organs, it's still that cool temperature, for a fish do not keep a constant consistent body temperature like mammals or birds can. This is made no better with the gills, as they are in constant contact with water and the blood of a fish is therefore also constantly in contact with the cooling forces of the water. However! The way that tunas do it is that as the blood vessels travelling further away from the heart are subjected more and more to the cooling forces of the outside world, they are closely intertwined with blood vessels that are going from the periphery back into the center of the body. What happens then is that as the cool blood comes back into the body, it is essentially surrounded by blood that is warmer and warmer the deeper inside it goes. This transfers the heat to the blood vessels that go inside the body, warming the blood overall and allowing tunas to keep their body temperature significantly higher than the surrounding environment! Here's a picture that shows how that works. Fun fact: the net of veins that warms the tuna is called a rete mirabile, a "wonderful net".

Tunas use this tactic to warm their swimming muscles, their brains and their eyes: tunas are visual predators that need to see well, efficiently process what they see, have quick reaction times and fast reflexes, and of course, swim extremely fast. It works rather well for them, as they can maintain a body temperature several degrees higher than the surrounding water!

All these things combined make tunas a fierce oceanic predator! The yellowfin tuna is the fastest and can reportedly swim at a top speed of 75 km/h or 47 mph, but the others aren't bad either, the Atlantic bluefin can swim with a max speed of 53 km/h or 33 mph for example! Estimates for speeds vary a lot though, some max speeds are easily overestimated if there’s no way to accurately measure speed. For one, the NOAA Fisheries site claims that the albacore tuna can reach speeds of over 80 km/h or 50 mph, but then clearly they would be the fastest tunas, even though it’s often agreed that title goes to the yellowfin….? Mmm… Just, they’re fast. They’re very really fast.

Tunas like to swim in schools, sometimes comprised of multiple tuna species. All together they are the terror of fish schools in the temperate and warm seas of the world >:) They tend to stick to surface waters, but some tunas can dive even up to a kilometer deep (3 280 feet), namely Atlantic bluefins! Many species make great migrations between their breeding grounds and where their food goes, they can swim kilometers upon kilometers nonstop without ever tiring. "Nonstop" isn't even hyperbole in this case by the way, tuna cannot stop swimming as their oxygen intake relies on ram ventilation similar to some species of sharks. If they stop, they cannot get water on their gills and suffocate as a result. It's not really known if and how tunas rest as a result, because they are always on the go. Also I don't really know where else to say this, but the keels of tunas actually have a lateral line canal that differs from the rest of the body's lateral line, which might help tunas sense things like water flow and pressure near the tail. The more you know!

I can't leave these facts here without showing some proper tuna pictures that showcase their size. Here’s a 191 kg/422 lb Atlantic bluefin tuna!

Sadly out of the water, but... look at that. Tiger of the ocean, that is.

[reasonsforhope]

Although dam removals have been happening since 1912, the vast majority have occurred since the mid-2010s, and they have picked up steam since the 2021 Bipartisan Infrastructure Law, which provided funding for such projects. To date, 806 Northeastern dams have come down, with hundreds more in the pipeline. Across the country, 2023 was a watershed year, with a total of 80 dam removals. Says Andrew Fisk, Northeast regional director of the nonprofit American Rivers, “The increasing intensity and frequency of storm events, and the dramatically reduced sizes of our migratory fish populations, are accelerating our efforts.”

Dam removals in the Northeast don’t generate the same media attention as massive takedowns on West Coast rivers, like the Klamath or the Elwha. That’s because most of these structures are comparatively miniscule, built in the 19th century to form ponds and to power grist, textile, paper, saw, and other types of mills as the region developed into an industrial powerhouse.

But as mills became defunct, their dams remained. They may be small to humans, but to the fish that can’t get past them “they’re just as big as a Klamath River dam,” says Maddie Feaster, habitat restoration project manager for the environmental organization Riverkeeper, based in Ossining, New York. From Maryland and Pennsylvania up to Maine, there are 31,213 inventoried dams, more than 4,000 of which sit within the 13,400-square-mile Hudson River watershed alone. For generations they’ve degraded habitat and altered downstream hydrology and sediment flows, creating warm, stagnant, low-oxygen pools that trigger algal blooms and favor invasive species. The dams inhibit fish passage, too, which is why the biologists at the mouth of the Saw Kill transported their glass eels past the first of three Saw Kill dams after counting them...

Jeremy Dietrich, an aquatic ecologist at the New York State Water Resources Institute, monitors dam sites both pre- and post-removal. Environments upstream of an intact dam, he explains, “are dominated by midges, aquatic worms, small crustaceans, organisms you typically might find in a pond.” In 2017 and 2018 assessments of recent Hudson River dam removals, some of which also included riverbank restorations to further enhance habitat for native species, he found improved water quality and more populous communities of beetles, mayflies, and caddisflies, which are “more sensitive to environmental perturbation, and thus used as bioindicators,” he says. “You have this big polarity of ecological conditions, because the barrier has severed the natural connectivity of the system. [After removal], we generally see streams recover to a point where we didn’t even know there was a dam there.”

Pictured: Quassaick Creek flows freely after the removal of the Strooks Felt Dam, Newburgh, New York.

American Rivers estimates that 85 percent of U.S. dams are unnecessary at best and pose risks to public safety at worst, should they collapse and flood downstream communities. The nonprofit has been involved with roughly 1,000 removals across the country, 38 of them since 2018. This effort was boosted by $800 million from the Bipartisan Infrastructure Law. But states will likely need to contribute more of their own funding should the Trump administration claw back unspent money, and organizations involved in dam removal are now scrambling to assess the potential impact to their work.

Enthusiasm for such projects is on the upswing among some dam owners — whether states, municipalities, or private landholders. Pennsylvania alone has taken out more than 390 dams since 1912 — 107 of them between 2015 and 2023 — none higher than 16 feet high. “Individual property owners [say] I own a dam, and my insurance company is telling me I have a liability,” says Fisk. Dams in disrepair may release toxic sediments that potentially threaten both human health and wildlife, and low-head dams, over which water flows continuously, churn up recirculating currents that trap and drown 50 people a year in the U.S.

Numerous studies show that dam removals improve aquatic fish passage, water quality, watershed resilience, and habitat for organisms up the food chain, from insects to otters and eagles. But removals aren’t straightforward. Federal grants, from the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration or the Fish and Wildlife Service, favor projects that benefit federally listed species and many river miles. But even the smallest, simplest projects range in cost from $100,000 to $3 million. To qualify for a grant, be it federal or state, an application “has to score well,” says Scott Cuppett, who leads the watershed team at the New York State Department of Environmental Conservation’s Hudson River Estuary Program, which collaborates with nonprofits like Riverkeeper to connect dam owners to technical assistance and money...

All this can be overwhelming for dam owners, which is why stakeholders hope additional research will help loosen up some of the requirements. In 2020, Yellen released a study in which he simulated the removal of the 1,702 dams in the lower Hudson watershed, attempting to determine how much sediment might be released if they came down. He found that “the vast majority of dams don’t really trap much sediment,” he says. That’s good news, since it means sediment released into the Hudson will neither permanently worsen water quality nor build up in places that would smother or otherwise harm underwater vegetation. And it shows that “you would not need to invest a huge amount of time or effort into a [costly] sediment management plan,” Yellen says. It’s “a day’s worth of excavator work to remove some concrete and rock, instead of months of trucking away sand and fill.” ...

On a sunny winter afternoon, Feaster, of Riverkeeper, stands in thick mud beside Quassaick Creek in Newburgh, New York. The Strooks Felt Dam, the first of seven municipally owned dams on the lower reaches of this 18-mile tributary, was demolished with state money in 2020. The second dam, called Holden, is slated to come down in late 2025. Feaster is showing a visitor the third, the Walsh Road Dam, whose removal has yet to be funded. “This was built into a floodplain,” she says, “and when it rains the dam overflows to flood a housing complex just around a bend in the creek.” ...

On the Quassaick, improvements are evident since the Strooks dam came out. American eel and juvenile blue crabs have already moved in. In fact, fish returns can sometimes be observed within minutes of opening a passageway. Says Schmidt, “We’ve had dammed rivers where you’ve been removing the project and when the last piece comes out a fish immediately storms past it.”

There is palpable impatience among environmentalists and dam owners to get even more removals going in the Northeast. To that end, collaborators are working to streamline the process. The Fish and Wildlife Service, for example, has formed an interagency fish passage task force with other federal agencies, including NOAA and FEMA, that have their own interests in dam removals. American Rivers is working with regional partners to develop priority lists of dams whose removals would provide the greatest environmental and safety benefits and open up the most river miles to the most important species. “We’re not going to remove all dams,” [Note: mostly for reasons dealing with invasive species management, etc.] says Schmidt. “But we can be really thoughtful and impactful with the ones that we do choose to remove.”

-via Yale Environment 360, February 4, 2025

[diejager]

just hear me out for one second.... what if hunter was a titan?... yk like aot (attack on titan)

reader looks totally normal, nothing indicating that they were something other than human. Even laswell wasnt 100% sure on what reader was. A stirring mystery within 141 that they all collectively decide to ignore.

then one day, they were out on a mission that was going horribly, horribly wrong.. incorrect information, sabotage, dangerous illegal weapons, low ammunition, scarce supplies, severe injuries, etc.. you name it.

141 was backed into a corner. definitely not the first time something like this has happened in their career...but they always manage to find a way out. Always making it back home, injured sure- but safe..alive.

this time it wasn't the case. there was no way out, none. death was knocking on the door and soon they had to answer.....

and unfortunately reader was the first to greet death.. a clean shot to the head by a sniper

one minute reader was laying in a pool of their own blood and the next they turn into this gigantic humanoid beast.

in a fit of rage, reader starts to completely destroy the battlefield. not a damn soul alive besides 141.

bodies scattered from the sea to the forest and heavens above ..nothing but pure gore and blood.

reader standing over the battlefield bloodied from head to toe, watching the devastation below.

(This is really long im sorry)

Cw: implied death, blood and gore, Canon-typical violence, titan!reader, gun violence?, tell me if I missed any.

The last thing Horangi remembered hearing through the angered hisses and growls, Price screaming at Laswell and her informants through the coms to find a way out their thick predicament was the shuddering shot that boomed through the air. The hair of his arms raised when he watched you turn towards the sound, your wide eyes and choked breath. You flinched back and lurched forward, hands grasping at your bleeding throat, choking and gurgling on the blood that rose from your wound. He rushed to pull you into cover, biting his lip at your pained expression, you were choking on your blood, dying by the thing that substained you, that cycled life and oxygen through your body. 

Your words were sputtered, splattered crimson on Horangi’s mask as he fussed over you, your pinched brows and scrunched nose, the angered gleam in your dulling eyes and your bloody and sneering lips. You pushed him away, stumbling forward with one step at a time, risking being shot a second and third time, but you kept marching away from them, ignoring their attempt to stop you and reach for you. 

“B- bast- ard-!” He heard you screech.

He didn’t know if some God or Gods favoured you or if you were extremely lucky for still being alive, a second bullet landing by your feet and a third scratching your arm. You raised a bloody hand, palm facing you, the crease and groves of every fold a dark red, then you bit down on it. Hard. He admired the strength behind your bite, the crunch of your skin breaking under your teeth and red exploding, he could only imagine how painful it was, but you were already in so much agony, your body’s probably numb. 

And suddenly, lighting sparked around you, bright yellow and loud, scarily close to you before one thick and dangerous one struck where you stood. Within seconds, he gaped at the mass of muscles, red fibres interlocking and sticking to ligaments and fat that kept it together, tying themselves to bone and tendons, wrapping away the red and white with a wide array of red and blue, building a system of veins that were finally covered by skin. In your place was a giant —a titan, one that he’d heard through the grapevines of black markets and hushed whispered and rumours from the underworld when he gambled his life away. 

The titan - you - let out a loud scream, head thrown back and arms reeling back, fingers clenched in anger, deep sated vitriol that carried you around them. He could only stare on in amazement as you trampled over the surrounding enemies, bending down to grip a man, your thick fingers clenching around him and squeezing the life out of him, leaving his entrails spilling out of his broken abdomen. You moved around stepping and squeezing them to death, a trail of carnage behind you, bodies strewed about, spines broken and heads rolling. 

He let you go on without a word, his breath stolen away by you when you slumped over, your nape breaking open with a loud hiss, steam billowing up the air from how hot your body ran, you arched out, body curled backward with a loud sigh. Horangi stared at you, unmoving and unbreathing, and only moved when Price rushed to you, climbing your titan body to pull the rest of you out, your arms and lower body still attached to it by thick, red muscle. Your feet stuttered, eyes blinking tiredly while you leaned on Price, groaning and rubbing the tension out of your temples. 

He realised the blood that was supposed to stain your skin and clothes were gone, evaporated in the heat of it. Your wound healed and energy spent, you were tired and grumbling about wanting to sleep, face pinched in irritation or annoyance, something he could feel. And without any complaints from them, Price had called for evac and waited at the LZ, everyone huddled around you, sharing the same amount of awe and surprise in their expression. You were a wonder to him, a beast of legends that Horangi had only heard of, but he had many, many questions and curiosities that he wanted fulfilled.

Taglist: @craxy-person @crowbird @dead-cipher @iwannabealocalcryptid @iizx7y @mxtokko @capricorn-anon @perfectus-in-morte @sae1kie @yeoldedumbslut @bvxygriimes @distracteddragoness @konigsblog @angelcakes-22 @ramadiiiisme @ramblingsofachaoticthinker @im-making-an-effort @love-dove-noora @jinxxangel13 @daisychainsinknots @h0n3y-l3m0n05 @mul-pi @danielle143 @beau-min @makayla-666 @urfavsunkissedleo @notspiders @brokenpieces-72 @luvecarson @petwifed @randominstake @heartelysia @jggykhug09090 @hayleybarnesx @shironasumi @sparky--bunny @bloobewy @call-me-nyxx @sans-chara @cod-z @sweetnanah @aldis-nuts @thigh-o-saur @evolutionarry @kaoyamamegami @cassiecasluciluce

[fishenjoyer1]

Fish of the Day

The fish of the day today is the devils hole pupfish!

The devils hole pupfish, scientific name Cyprinodon diabolis, is an endangered fish known to live in exactly one spot, Devils hole. Devils hole is a limestone cavern with a geothermal pool found in Nye county of Nevada, and a disconnected section of Death Valley National Park. The geothermal pool keeps the water at a consistent 33 degrees Celsius all seasons, and has low dissolved oxygen amounts. The surface of water at the cave is only 72ft by 12ft, but below that the cave descends deep into the earth. Below the surface pool there is a larger cavern descending to 150 meters at its deepest before branching into a smaller tube at the bottom, the depth of which is currently unknown.1965 two teenagers went diving in the hole with scuba gear, and were never seen again,  rescue divers sent after them found a dropped flashlight, and other scuba gear but the bodies were never found. One rescue diver dropped a weighted plate that fell a full 932ft without contacting a bottom to the chamber, describing the water below him as an "infinity chamber". Later scans of the cave revealed it is at least as deep as 1,247ft, although to this day the depth is still unknown. Another well known aspect of the cave is that it can be used to determine when there are earthquakes all over the world. The water surges and has displayed unique patterns during the 2022 Mexico 7.6 magnitude earthquake, along with other strong earthquakes further from the hole. Such as: the 2012 6.2 magnitude earthquake in Papua New Guinea, or the 2018 7.4 magnitude earthquake in Indonesia. Devils hole pupfish are known to live only in the first 80ft of the cave.

Devils hole pupfish are unique in appearance, getting only as large as an inch, and being one of few species that have no pelvic fins, however when raised in colder conditions these pupfish will regrow these appendages. As juveniles these fish are an off white color, and females retain some of this coloring in adulthood. This species has only ever been recorded with as many as 500 wild fish at its highest, hitting an all time low point of 42 fish in 2007. The more recent numbers are looking up however, and there were 263 pupfish observed in spring of 2022. The survival from egg to adulthood is small, but the likelihood with human effort that this fish will survive the test of time is high. Described as possibly the most isolated wild vertebrate species in the world. These fish live only 10-14 months, reaching sexual maturity at 8-10 weeks old and spawn year round with peaks in mid February-May, and a smaller peak in July-September. Due to the unique oxygen levels of devils hole, these fish have adapted to enter a state of tupor, similar to hibernation, where they can live anaerobically. This allows them to go without breathing for up to 2 hours, however they produce ethanol as a byproduct.

Most of the devils hole pupfish life is on the rocky outcrops of the surface waters of the cave system. Breeding, egg laying, diet, resting, and schedules surrounding the placement of the sun all depend on these rocky outcroppings of stone near the surface of the water. The diet of these fish is dependent on the rock outcroppings of the cave, as they eat anything they can find in the cave system. This includes: small freshwater crustaceans, beetles, flatworms, freshwater snails, inorganic matter made of small sections of the caves limestone, along with spirogyra and diatom algae, which grows on the rocks themselves and makes up most of the pupfish's diet. Due to their diet being mostly algae types, pupfish are incredibly susceptible to the seismic activity in the devils' hole, as it creates small tsunamis along surface water and washes away algae on the rocks, leaving them without a majority of their food source until it regrows. When these earthquakes happen the pupfish are known to flee into the deer waters of the cave until the water has stilled, and are thought to perhaps feel earthquakes before they happen, although not much research has been done on this yet.

Have a good Wednesday, everyone!