#pain and suffering and hatred on planet earth | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

messagefound · 6 months

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rib aches

OH I JUST ADORE THIS ONE

lilieve belongs to @crashstanding once again :)

Summary: Adam has been silent for a long time in mourning of his son. Lilieve wishes she could do something.

Adam had been silent for a long time.

At first, there were at least some short periods of noise. First there were gurgles and chokes, then sobbing, then the soft whispering singing, and then there was nothing at all.

It sickened him. Silence was anathema. They did not consign themselves to the earth just for that cursed phenomenon to take hold of them again. It had to be purged. It can’t win.

He can’t let it win.

And yet he couldn’t bear to let anything leave his throat. If the black briny gunk that permeated his lost son’s body down below wouldn’t leave his eye it would spurt from his throat like vomit. He couldn’t let it. No more of it. No more. Please.

He was still down there. He couldn’t reach him. He tried, oh yes, he tried. He cast his mind and essence out to those blackened trenches, reached with ephemeral hands towards the fish-eaten corpse, but he couldn’t. He just couldn’t. The pressure would break his very ribs with the strain. It wouldn’t just break Adam’s, it would break Lycoris’s entire being.

Adam couldn’t risk a Shattering. He couldn’t. He won’t. Not while he’s made of such fragile flesh.

But who else was going to find him? No one. Not even Eve can reach down there. The Children couldn’t reach down there. It was the one place on this planet none of them could reach.

But that was his son. His rib. His own. A brother to a twin that couldn’t bear to comprehend a death like this. He was stuck down there, rotting, decaying, predated upon by creatures of the deep.

Eventually Adam grew quiet from the grief.

Lilieve could only watch.

Through her children’s eyes, she could see him, nestled in the fetal position within her plumage. The only movement he ever made nowadays was intermittent shivers, a nonverbal plea for more feathers, more insulation.

A hiding place. A cave of plumes to hide a wretch, to shield the humiliation from outside view.

How awful that he had come to think such things of himself. The pain he felt was one she knew well, far too well. The difference was that her children numbered in myriads, enough for her to gradually steel herself. Sometimes her children would shed themselves from her, suffer, and die, but they’ll make it back eventually. She would help them to heal, to raise them all over again, and hope the next cycle was kinder. Sometimes it was, and they would come back gently. Those were the ones that bore wisdom to the others.

Adam, in contrast, was so much smaller than her. The ribs that held life within him were only a pair. This was the first cycle he took part in. It had already started out bad, with him descending into a place where he was looked at with immediate hatred and objectivity. He endured as much he could, but he had to split there in haste. His sons would only hold fleeting memories of him and continue to be subject to wrath disguised as science.

They got out eventually. But only one made it.

The deluge of pain felt like a knife twisting. Half of his work, drowned beneath the deep, with the other half left lost and confused. They were both supposed to be important. They were both supposed to live.

And yet.

He did not have the fount of experience that she did. He has not learned to accept that sometimes bad things can and will happen, sometimes senselessly. His children couldn’t even make it back to him on their own. He had to retrieve them himself, placing them back within his ribs with deep grief.

How cruel then, for one of his sons to die in a place he couldn’t follow.

No amount of “we can try again, next time” will resolve that.

…

She wished she could do something. Something instant. Something to bring that smile back. He always had such a pretty smile. It brought her back from the brink countless times. Doesn’t he realize that? Shouldn’t he know how beautiful he is, every day, every hour? Shouldn’t he know that for all her teasing, he was always as bright as the sun to her?

Even the quiet, mumbling, hushed tones of his mourning songs were lovely. She even said as much, but she didn’t know if he heard her.

When it became clear he wouldn’t speak or move again anytime soon, she tried to comfort him in other ways. She would make him dream, something he isn’t wont to do nowadays, just to turn him away from the trenches for just a moment. Please don’t think of your little boy trapped down there, please. Sleep under my boughs instead. Hear my leaves sing of their love for you. They’ll let you forget for a while if you just let them. We’ll find ways to get him out we promise. Just please smile again. Please.

Please…

And yet she couldn’t just make him sleep forever. He wouldn’t want that. Not that the dreams were any lasting help anyway. He hadn’t been responsive even in sleep.

Part of her wanted to stop. But how could she? She had to keep trying. She had to. Any comfort she could ever give was his if he could just let her.

One day, she thought deeply for a long time. If she could focus, completely focus, perhaps she could…

Within the feathery cocoon, there was a movement. Not from him, but within those green-gray plumes. With a rustle like that of bushes, a pale limb slowly emerged, humanlike at first until another arm emerged from its elbow joint. Then, its twin pairs emerged as well, then a face, then the body, then the fractaled repeating wings. Her children quickly moved to cover up her body in a like manner to a fluffy coat. This was done not for need of modesty, but to make sure the body stayed together. Their mother only needed to focus; they were simply lessening the workload.

Aside from being the opposite sex and the wings, she could’ve been a mirror image of him. Her skin was a pale gray, like his. Her hair was long enough to touch the ground and was black with white streaks, like his. One eye was white, and the other was black, like his. Which one was which was reversed of course, but they were still like his. Yet, if one were to place them side by side, she would tower over him in comparison. She was tall, very tall, perfectly befitting a tree.

She looked down at her counterpart, still laying there curled up unresponsive with a deadened gaze and a black eye darkened with sand and silt and knelt right beside him. Her bifurcating arms reached out for him, gently stroking his hair with twice as many hands as usual.

“Dearest,” she uttered, as quiet as her matronly voice would allow. “I’m here. Do you see me? Can you hear me?”

Adam seemed to shudder at the sudden onset of touch, but not too harshly. It was akin to someone startling awake more than anything else. His eyes moved, first gazing at the arms before slowly raising up to meet her gaze.

“…Eve…?” he murmured, his voice barely retreating from his throat.

“Yes. It’s me, dear.”

He paused for a moment, as if he was processing the sight before him.

“…was this what you looked like…in the Before…?” he whispered.

“Yes. In a manner of speaking, of course.”

Her wings twitched idly, as if to prove her point. Her extra arms traced his shoulders.

Again, Adam paused before speaking.

“You look beautiful…”

She smiled.

“Thank you.”

Slowly, gently, as if holding a baby, she lifted Adam and held him close to her chest. The feather children there fluttered and flitted at his presence, grasping at his face with tiny unseen hands. He responded with a quiet groan, which was more than enough compared to earlier.

“Do you want me to stay with you for a while?”

He slowly nodded, lethargically raising a hand. One of hers took it without hesitation.

“Please…”

Saying his voice was broken seemed like a disservice. Saying it was shattered, no, crumbled into fine dust was more accurate. Anyone would have to strain their ears just to hear him. It was less a voice and more air pressed out of a dying body.

…how sad. How horrible.

But she stayed, continuously stroking his hair. Her children kept nuzzling his face, bunching around bare flesh to keep him warm. Adam, all the while, continued to say and do nothing but breathe.

“I held you once like this before, remember?” she said after a while. “In that dream we had, after we Remembered. You were tending roses, and I worried about the thorns. I knew they remembered your blood. I feared a single prick would make them ravenous for the lifeblood that revived them. You assured me you wouldn’t let them take more than they needed.”

“…yes…I remember…”

“I took the fruit blossoms from my boughs and fashioned them into crowns for you. You looked sublime, like a flower itself. You in turn nestled into my leaves to adorn my branches with rose circlets you made yourself. The sunset was blood red, but not like the sun in the dying sky we knew. This was a lively red, vivacious. We knew then that we truly succeeded. Remember?”

“Yes…”

“It was beautiful, and you were beautiful, and you thought me beautiful as well. It was heaven for a moment, even when it didn’t last very long.”

“Yes…”

“We’ll make it eternity one day. I promise.”

“Mm…”

Then he grew silent once more.

It would’ve lasted longer had the brine not suddenly spurted out his throat in a shuddering heave. It wasn’t big, but it was still out of nowhere. Some of her children fled with the movement, but Lilieve always stayed perfectly still and vigilant. She instead tilted him over and held his hair back as he coughed and rasped and gagged it out.

The noises that left him then were like a dying animal’s, shuddering in its death throes in one last burst of movement before the neurons stop firing. His movements were similar, or something akin to a fish shocked by air. Twisting around in an environment not meant for it, trying to return to water that might not even be there.

Seeing him like that made her want to keen like a dove.

After a while, the deluge of filth stopped, Adam collapsing limply into her arms once more. Tears were streaming down his face, water from his black eye still being dark and murky. It didn’t even seem like it wanted to remain open anymore, remaining shrunken and leaking as if someone had punched it. In contrast, his white eye was the widest Lilieve had seen in recent days, gazing out frantically in horror from its socket.

When he spoke next it was a croak, but still clearer than he’d been all day.

“please tell me I didn’t get it on any of the children”

“You didn’t, don’t worry. They knew to get out of the way. Is it all out for now?”

He didn’t answer that. Instead, he smacked both his hands over his face, letting out a gurgling cry.

“he’s still down there”

“I know…”

“it’s not going to end unless he gets out”

“I know. We’ll find a way to get him out, I promise.”

“how”

She set her jaw.

Adam continued crying.

“all I do is create muck”

“Dear, don’t—”

“I’ll get it all over the children one of these days and that can’t happen it can’t it can’t”

“You know I won’t let that happen.”

“I don’t even understand why you still hold me after seeing that”

Her teeth grinded against each other from within her mouth.

“I’m useless useless”

“ADAM.”

Even the space within her very wings seemed to retreat at the sound of her voice, her real voice. The rustles of her children and their worried peeps immediately grew silent.

Adam was subsequently shocked out of his spiral, gazing at her with one wide eye. His face was still wet, and he looked terrible, but he was listening now. He looked like a kicked puppy, and Lilieve felt an internal stab of pain at that, but she had to. She had to. She couldn’t let him talk like that anymore.

He cradled himself, shivering.

“I’m sorry”

She sighed.

“You mustn’t talk like that,” she said, voice lowered once again. “You would never let me speak like that about myself, wouldn’t you?”

“never”

Her hands went back to his hair, one reaching for his face to wipe the clear tears of his white eye. For a moment, she gazed at their sheen upon her fingers. She was reminded of the continuous waterfalls that left her eyes as a bird, how when this started Adam would cup his hands underneath and drink. He did it to clean his black eye back then, when it would become so saturated with murk, he could hardly see out of it.

It worked, yes, but it wasn’t a pleasant process. Someone as small as he couldn’t handle the collective sorrows of every feather on a giant bird’s plumage. Water would leave his eyes in waves until the black eye’s tears would be some semblance of clear. It would always darken again in due course, but he would just repeat the process.

She had let him back then, because she had thought this the only solace she had available to him. But now, she was holding him like a human, as their nature intended.

He couldn’t handle her burden in this fashion, but she…

“Dear,” she uttered, finally. “Let me partake of your tears.”

He looked taken aback.

“what”

“I wish to share your burden. We can’t reach your son now, but I can do this much at least.”

He grimaced.

“but it’ll hurt you, and I can’t do the same in return anymore”

“I know. And yet,” she began, gently curling his hair behind his ear. “That’s never been the only way for you to help me. You’ve done so much for us already just by being here, nestling within my feathers and always talking to my children. They don’t feel as lonely anymore since you arrived.”

She smiled.

“I haven’t been as lonely since you arrived. You’ve shown me the beauty of a world I nearly gave up on. I can only hope I’ve done as much for you in return, so please…”

Her hands cupped under his white eye.

“Please let me do this for you. Please let me do this much.”

He gazed at her, maintaining almost perfect eye contact with his very reflection, as tall and sharp as she was in comparison to him. Her feathers were always so warm, her hands even more so. She loved him. He loved her. He would never trade her for anything. He would never trade the Children for anything. Most of all she reclaimed her past body just to hold him properly.

It made the tears come easier.

“okay” he whispered, nodding solemnly.

She sighed.

“Children,” she said. “Leave me be with him for a while.”

There was an immediate storm of peeps and protests.

“I can maintain this body perfectly by myself for a bit. This is a burden I must share with him alone.”

More peeps, sounding far more despondent this time.

“It won’t be long, I promise. Wait for me. I love you.”

There was the sound of reluctant peeps, and then silence. The feathers that made up her coat retreated into the feathery mass, leaving her normal attire of a green-gray gossamer dress behind. Her tree nature was more obvious now by the texture of her chest, flesh slowly giving way to brownish bark dotted with bristles.

A pair of hands remained cupped under his eye, their counterparts clasping his hands.

“I love you,” she said.

“I love you” he replied.

She waited until her palms were sufficiently full. She kissed his temple, once, twice, three times. Then she leaned back and drank as much as she could carry.

There was a deep, long pause.

Her wings moved first. They trembled like branches in a breeze, her feathers she sewn in patchwork patterns all that time ago rustling like leaves in a storm. The shudder moved throughout her body next, a deep, aching, loud, screaming pain suddenly kept in check. The hands grasping his tightened their grip, and she felt his tightening in turn.

The sensation reacted like a trapped animal. Screaming, crying, wailing, growling, and gnashing at the bars of its cage in a wordless cacophony. How dare it be contained. How dare it find itself planted within a body that kept the score of countless others like it. How dare it face even the possibility of being drowned out in a sea of other cries and whimpers and screams.

How dare it be shared.

How dare it be treated with kindness.

How dare it be understood.

How dare it feel the compassion of another…

Finally, it left via her throat, not with the blast it wanted but only a whimper. A mournful groan, not unlike the dove named for such emotions.

Then all was quiet once more.

“Oh,” she whispered, and she never whispered, not truly. “How ravenous this grief is for you…”

Tears left her eyes, but not in the streams he suffered.

Adam stared. He still looked and felt awful, but his chest felt a little warmer than it had before.

“I hate seeing you cry so much” he croaked out, as if oblivious to his own.

“I hate seeing you cry more, dear.”

She held him closer, leaning down to kiss his eyelid of his white eye. She began peppering his very face with kisses, feeling him wrap his arms around her neck with a weak moan.

“please stay here with me”

The words felt familiar to them both, not unlike an echo.

“You know I will. I promise I will.”

#surrealism #original mythology #tanzaku #romance #sure i can tag it that way but i think they're like a secret third thing besides romance and platonic #weirdcore #dreamcore #hurt/comfort #oc writing #original writing #dealing with grief

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liesmyth · 2 years

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OOOOH YOU'RE INTO TMA 👀 👀

what do you think john (tlt)'s entity alignment would be? for me its a cross between desolation and extinction. like, desolation flavoured extinction.

he starts out fearing for the death of earth, but with specific hatred and fear for who he believes are responsible (of course, the trillionares treatment of the earth could be likened more to a flesh/slaughter deal, because i doubt they had the personal conviction in ruining people's lives that the desolation requires, but so long as john views it as personal, it works)

this fear of irrevocable change to the enviroment paired with the fear of it coming who specifally wants YOU to suffer gives us a nice desolation-extinction combo.

then a myriad later, john is putting that fear into those trillionare descendants. and again, the way they view it is closer to flesh/slaughter because they dont know johns motivations, but its all cylical baby!!!

DESOLATION. ABSOLUTELY DESOLATION.

He was nearly the Extinction (btw. one of my main gripes with the ending of TMA is how they absolutely did nowhere with the Extinction! it was so cool! etc.) I mean, if there's ONE person more likely to be the frontrunner for Extinction Avatar it's got to be the guy who ended all life in the solar system in a misguided attempt to prevent the extinction of humanity and biodiversity loss.

Then he became a divinity ruled by wrath and a thirst for senseless revenge. There can be no forgiveness. Nothing satisfies me, nothing. He reforged humanity into an empire that runs on death magic to exact retribution; his (metaphorical) fingers reach all through the universe; he made his home a literal mausoleum. He wages a war that, as far as we can tell, doesn't have the purpose of destroying the enemy but 'just' to subjugate them and scatter them from planet to planet over and over, and an endless cycle of creating more refugees to ensure the war will go on. He is ABSOLUTELY the Desolation. Fire without the warmth. His love consumes all that he touches. He's ruled by fear and pain and so he inflicts them on everyone else.

Anyway. He's so !!!!!! babygirl 💀 evil 🥰

Harrow is an avatar of the Buried, of course. And look at this art of TMA Extinction that someone made for me :3

#Anonymous #ask #tlt tma au #I ADMIT IT. I AM A MAGNUS ARCHIVES GIRLIE #ejg #tlt thoughts #tlt

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benjinara · 9 months

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An Earth Without Humanity

An Earth without humanity, would be the emptiest place in the Universe.

Of course, it is quite contradictory to the popular belief. Literally speaking, Space is emptier. Devoid of life. Devoid of thought. Devoid of feelings and desires and pains and joys.

When Humanity was at its peak, there was a view among many human beings, a hypocrisy that degraded the value of their own kind.

It was revealed through a question. What should be removed from Earth to make it a better place?

There were numerous responses. Some said war. Some said nuclear bombs. Some said hatred.

But from many people, came a similar, resounding response, ‘humans’.

It was their thought, that removing themselves from existence was what made the world a better place. It was their thought, that they didn’t deserve nature. War, conflicts, pain, suffering – to them, hatred was at the core of humanity. To them, the grand monuments built, the languages spoken, the religions and cultures, was what needed to be removed from the planet, to make it a better place.

Oh, how smart they must have felt, for their response. How proudly they must have smiled, for such an answer was regarded so philosophical, so true and profound. How right they must have felt about their belief.

It would be wrong to say that all humans shared the same idea, but this thought was carved into minds of many throughout the generations. The thought that humanity was a mere, insignificant thing. A parasite infesting the world. Be it the idea that humans were just an anomaly created by nature that ended up doing more harm than good. Be it the idea that humans were a mere group of entities created by a certain god, or a supernatural being, just because.

It was an innate hypocrisy among these people, to generalize their own kind. To goad their kind into the theory of humanity having taken away the beauty of the Earth. To say that wars, battles, bombs, and fighting ruined the world. To say that their entire kind should disappear for the betterment of Earth.

How selfish. How stupid. How immature.

Such a wonder nature is, with trees and plants, growing on sunlight, enriching the environment. With many kinds of animals, vertebrate and invertebrate, roaming the world in search of food, shelter and family. The sun rises, the sun sets. The moon continues its journey across the Earth’s orbit. The faraway glistening stars sending their image down to the planet over millions of years.

There is rain, hail, snow, hurricanes. The Earth is a network of living things. The atmosphere changes, the oceans always move. And the Earth rotates around itself, orbiting the Sun. Containing life.

But what is the point of it all?

My eyes will never tire of these sights. That day I chose to lay among the blades of grass, on a cliff near the ocean. My feet aimed at the giant shape of the sun, in all its glory and light, drawing closer and closer to the horizon. The clouds waltzed slowly, the stars glistened into visibility as a veil of darkness fell over the sky.

The wind was high up there, it mixed with the sound of the waves crashing at the crags below. It rustled the grass around me.

The constellations began to show, as the sky darkened. I knew none of them. But I craved their beauty, nonetheless. To think that all these small glistening dots, this glitter sprayed across the sky were all stars, a distance unfathomably far away – it filled my mind with a haunting sense of loneliness.

The constellations moved across the sky, or rather, the Earth turned. And I experienced short lapses of sleep. I’d be lucid, then unconscious, then lucid again. It was a cycle until the night ended, and I could see the sun rising again, from the direction my head was laying.

I stood up, finally. Breathing in the fresh air, letting the wind ruffle my hair.

There were birds, chirping. Flying in flocks and flying alone, finding fruits and insects to eat. Every now and then as I walked across the field, I’d spot a rabbit or a squirrel, searching for food.

I walked away from the ocean, more inland, into the forest. The sun was reaching its peak now, and the trees sheltered me from the glaring rays. Plucking berries and fruits from thriving trees I came across, I wandered the terrain.

In a flash of brown-orange and white, I spotted a fox. It came lightly bounding through the trees, caught my gaze and stared at me for a moment. Regarding me with curiosity, and perhaps fear as well. I could tell this creature didn’t recognize what my species or status in the food chain was. But it seemed to understand that I was of no harm to it. It held the stare for a moment more, then bounded away on its way, in search of a kill.

When the sunset neared, I found myself a place to sleep, on a large, cosy tree branch. And while I couldn’t see the stars from where I was, I could hear the sound of animal calls within the forest. Hoots from Owls, screeches from bats, and an occasional howl, maybe from the fox.

As I lay with the hard bark at my back, I thought of many things again. The beauty of the constellations I had seen last night. The agility and the swiftness of the fox. Did the fox know that the glitter he saw in the sky each night were stars from far away? Did the fox know that Earth revolved around the Sun?

No. I didn’t think so.

The world it knew was simple. Hunt, eat, sleep and survive. If you lived into your adulthood successfully, then find a mate, and multiply. And once your time is up, silently die.

That night in my moments of sleep, I saw flashes. Dream-like flashes of what once was. Smiling faces, laughter, happiness, joy. The world was full in my dreams, not empty. And I found myself lost in the experience, lost for the sake of my own sanity.

The stars were beautiful, so was the fox, so was the cliff and the sea and the sun. But the beauty in it was hollow. Empty.

I was precariously close to falling off the branch when I woke up the next day, and my body felt different. It was weaker somehow. And my mind was clouded.

The days before I had held the beauty of the environment with such awe. But today my mind couldn’t register any of it. I saw the world through a grey filter.

I could tell that my mind somehow was affecting my body. That my dreams last night had sapped a part of myself into them. And a portion of my soul truly was lost in there. But I felt happy for the small snippet of myself that had escaped the vast emptiness.

As I continued to wander, I came across a stream. Small, colourful fish danced through the waters, and I waded in, following the gentle current. It lead towards a small cascade, which I leapt down.

Immediately my face went under, as I realized the water was deeper than I had expected. Panic rose in my throat, but my feet touched the rock bottom not too far from the surface, and I managed to swim my way back up.

Once I was treading water and breathing, I realized that the pool around me was not empty but filled with many pretty little creatures. There were bigger, colourful fish here. Dragonflies on lotuses. Kingfishes perched on weathered rocks around the pool. Cranes standing in the shallow parts.

Abundance of water meant the trees around the pool were thriving. Not much later, I found myself feasting on delicious fruits, hoping to get rid of the lethargic feeling that had shifted over my body. The birds side-eyed me, but didn’t fly away. If I sat close by them, they would flap or inch aside, but they never left the pool.

I had to wait until I was all dry, before I could stand up and start walking again. The fruits had been plentiful, but somehow my sluggishness didn’t go away. I was wandering the land once again, thinking strange, strange thoughts.

Did the birds know that the sky was full of stars? Did the fish know that the sun rose and set every day? Did those creatures know they were living on a planet rotating around itself, orbiting a large star?

I felt my body sag down with exhaustion. Today had been different. I hadn’t felt the same energy as the days before, and fatigue had set in much earlier. I crawled to the base of a nearby tree, and curled up beneath it, resting my limbs. The world moved about around me, the sun moved under the horizon, the moon lit up the sky in a gentle glow, and the cries of nocturnal animals were heard yet again.

Suddenly there was a rustle, close by, coming nearer.

I raised my head, and in the shadows cast by the moonlight, I saw large shapes, roaming through the trees. A herd of deer.

The creatures hadn’t noticed me, but I watched them intently. Males with large antlers, females guarding their offspring. All pressed together in case of an emergency, making their way across the terrain.

When I lay back down and faded off into sleep, there were those strange dreams, strange visions again. Many people like myself, together, smiling and laughing. Everyone was different, everyone had different colours. Some where singing melodies, some were dancing. The world was full again. Full of beauty. Full of meaning.

I woke up, to the sound of thunder.

The moonlight was gone, the entire forest had been plunged to darkness. The wind howled deafeningly loud. And the trees bent and swayed. I could see nothing, sense nothing. The world was in chaos, and I was in the middle of it.

Thunder again. Much closer this time.

I got to my feet, feeling my way around. There was the trunk of the tree I had been sleeping under, my hand smashed into it when I felt my way around frantically. The darkness pressed onto me from all sides. I saw nothing. I sensed nothing. All I could hear was the frightening gale, screaming around me. Warning me of the coming storm.

A sudden flash of light.

For a brief second, I could see the world around me. And seizing my chance, I quickly looked around to seek shelter. Large, sturdy trees, rocks, bushes, caves, anything I could use to keep me safe for the night. The sky bellowed a loud rumble, the storm was getting closer.

In another flash of lightning, I quickly lunged forward, towards a large, tall tree I had spotted, that seemed to offer more shade and cover. The light was momentary, the darkness pressed onto me again. But I had memorized the path, and I was running. Bounding over the leaves and sticks, trying to outrun the storm.

A new sound joined the gale, the distant roar of rain. There was more lightning to illuminate my way and I quickened my sprint. The wind grew louder, the thunder booming in my ears, raindrops falling here and there. I was closer and closer, and closer –

There was another strike of lightning, a boom of thunder followed right one cue, and the next thing I knew was that the Earth was coming up to meet me.

My face smashed into the damp soil, and I let out a painful groan.

The whimper was overpowered by the booming slap of thunder that echoed through the sky, and the next thing I knew, a bright fiery light and a wave of heat burst out right in front of me, with a deafening bang! For a second, everything was still, the rain continued to fall, the rumble of the thunder resonated through the sky.

Then there was an awful crack. Another. Another.

My eyes went to the sky, in another flash of lightning, I saw what was coming down on me.

The tree I had been running to, was crashing down. The sheer size of it crushing all the smaller trees around it. And I knew I was in its way.

I screamed, the tempest and the gale accompanying me. I do not know what sort of force came over my body, I was back on my feet and running. Trying to escape from the falling tree’s path. My soles were hurting, my left ankle sending shocks of pain through my leg with every step I took.

Seconds later, synchronized with another bang of lightning and thunder, the massive tree crashed down onto the forest floor, sending tremors through the Earth.

The tempest shrieked, the gale cried. The skies roared. There were no stars to console me, no beautiful sights for my eyes to see, only pure chaos. I screamed, I screamed my throat raw. Sprinting through the forest in a maddened craze. The trees swayed dangerously, more cracks, more bangs as more and more of them fell. I ran, I ran, I ran and ran and ran.

My body was getting weaker and weaker, my vision was blurring and fading out, my limbs were sore. And my mind was no longer in the state of peace it used to be.

I was lost. I was alone. I had nowhere. I had no one. I was lost, I was alone, I had nowhere, I had no one.

The world was in chaos around me, and I had no absolution, no shelter. The rain drenched my entire body, and a chill ran through my skull and spine.

I felt myself falling, falling onto the damp floor. The world blacked out on me, and all the sounds around me grew into a crescendo, and pressed on my ears, until it became one loud form of silence. I lay unmoving. A poor, worthless, lonely soul, lost in a great storm.

I was lost in dreams again. Dreams of better days. Visions of joy and pain. There were people, dancing, singing, fighting, yelling. People holding hands, people hugging, people kissing.

And suddenly, I was feeling warm. A hand clutching my own, radiating heat and a sense of safety. I squeezed the hand back. Embracing the sign of life, embracing how real it felt. It was so beautiful, so filled. The world was peaceful, the world was chaotic. The world had meaning. The stars had meaning. The rain, the wind, the forest, it all had meaning. Life had meaning.

There were lights, lights of colours unheard of. Inventions, objects, never found in nature. Disasters, tragedies, made by different forces. Birth and destruction, light and darkness, joy and pain, love and hatred. It was all one swirling pool of ecstatic madness. It was beautiful. It was meaningful.

In that one moment, it was so... so complete. The world felt so full.

My eyes opened, to reveal a grey sky above me.

Empty grey.

Two large drops of tears rolled down from the corner of my eyes, into my hair. My throat felt clogged, and a cough rose in my chest. I wheezed, sputtering for breath. My entire body was aching.

I felt so... cold.

It took me a time that felt like hours to sit up, shivering with the cold. My frame resisted motion, making every movement painful and unendurable. My feet were covered with cuts and bruises, and when I tried to stand on my feet, I immediately fell back down onto my knees.

Trees and branches had fallen around me, and the sky was still all grey. It was daytime, but there was no sun. The air was damp and chilly. And the world seemed to have been turned upside down overnight.

Limping, I walked past the broken trees, stepped over the puddles, and wandered. There weren’t many animals to be seen today. And my body was even weaker. Every step I took shook my frame. Every mile I walked made me break into a fit of coughs. Exhaustion was wearing me down, and I could feel a chill, within my figure.

I tried looking for berries, but the smaller trees had all been battered up and broken in the storm. There were very few I could find. None that satisfied my hunger. I could not find my way to a stream, so the muddy puddles of water quenched my thirst.

There was a rattle every time I took a deep breath. There was a pain in my head every time I looked up. There was fatigue in my body, increasing by each step.

I fell.

I fell, and I was dreaming again. Dreaming of people, of wonderful sights. Hearing songs and melodies, hearing voices. There was warmth, there was happiness. There was balance, there was meaning.

Then, I was lucid again, somehow. I was in control of my body. But I was not sure if I had control over my mind. I could vaguely feel myself stumble, stagger, fall, stand up again, and keep stumbling. I didn’t know where I was going. I didn’t know how many days passed. It didn’t matter. There was no meaning.

There was thunder again, less powerful than before. And a small drizzle that washed over me. Every breath brought a cough up my throat, every step made my bones rattle. Every gulp of saliva dried my mouth. Every move of my body made me weaker, and weaker and weaker.

Every time I slipped and fell into unconsciousness, I dreamt of people, of songs, of dances, of fighting, of shouting and hurting. I saw joy, and love, and pain and misery and hatred. I saw the stars, I saw the sun, I saw colours unseen before. I saw horrors, I saw destruction. I saw light and darkness, I saw a perfect balance, I saw a perfect mix. I saw a complete world.

When lucidity reached me again, I opened my eyes, and saw the world empty.

An Earth without humanity, would be the emptiest place in the Universe.

But I didn’t want such a beautiful place to become empty. That’s why I wandered. Even as the coldness took over my body, and my eyelids grew weary, and my breath became feeble. And hunger clawed at my stomach. Even as the weeks passed, and countless storms battered my body and wore me down.

Until I could take no more steps, until I had no life remaining in me, until I was ready to pass, I wandered the terrain, for humanity.

For as long as I lived, I knew that the Earth had five continents and five oceans. I knew the Earth had Seven Seas. I knew the Earth had three climatic zones of Tropical, Temperate and Tundra. I knew that the Earth was the third planet in the solar system. I knew that the closest planet to Earth was Venus. I knew that the Earth took three hundred and sixty-five days to orbit the sun. And that every four years would add up to one extra day, with a leap year of three hundred and sixty-six days. I knew that each day was twenty-four hours.

I knew that humans had set foot on the moon, I knew that humans had sent probes to Mars and Venus. I knew that humans had sent probes beyond the solar system. I knew that humans had mapped certain parts of the milky way. I knew that humans had different theories about the origins of life on Earth.

I knew that humans were great artists, great inventors, and great thinkers. I knew that some humans had the ability to imagine visuals and put them onto a blank canvas as a painting. I knew that some humans could spin amazing tales. I knew that some humans could craft amazing objects and sculptures out of plain materials. I knew that some humans could make complex devices both life-saving and destructive. I knew that some humans could hum a tune and turn it into a beautiful melody.

I knew that humans loved each other and hated each other. The love between a man and a woman, the love between parents and their children. The love between siblings, the love between friends, the love between humans and animals, the love between humans and nature. I knew that some humans, hated and killed. Some humans deceived and corrupted. It was all a perfect mix, it was all a perfect balance.

And I had learned that removing Humans from Earth did affect the nature. Animals and trees would thrive on their own. Storms and Hurricanes would circulate the atmosphere. Earth would not be infested with man-made nuclear disasters, pollution, wars and famines. Everything on Earth would be peaceful.

But then, everything would lose meaning.

Humanity, from the beginning, saw life as something more than just survival.

Humanity, from the beginning, wanted to learn, to love and to live.

From the beginning, Humanity assigned meaning to everything, gave reasons for everything. These were fantastical and mythical at first, with gods and deities and demons. Revering, and appreciating these beings was Humanity’s way of realizing the beauty and value of existence.

As times changed, Humanity became more theoretical, more scientific and calculated. Humanity created inventions that altered the way of life, they made their own cities, their own habitats. They used the resources provided by Earth and made something new for themselves, for the better and the worse.

The Earth would continue to rotate and revolve, for eons on end. Humanity added meaning to it. Every year brought new goals and achievements, every day brought new experiences, every moment they learned something new.

And even if every other human being was gone, as long as one was still alive – I had thought there would still be meaning. I had thought that as long as I lived, I would hold up the legacy of humanity.

I had thought maybe, just maybe, if I waited, humanity would be restored.

But the Earth, like my own body, was truly empty now. - Written by Benjinara (20/12/2023)

#short story #original story #narrative #fiction #cosmic horror #existential dread

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witchcraftandburialdirt · 1 year

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“how does it feel?”

═══ UNPROMPTED INTERACTIONS ═══ LEAGUE VERSE

"...To die? What an odd question, particularly from someone like you, if you don't mind me saying, Miss Irelia. You have killed countless humans, did you not take a moment to look upon their eyes as they went?" His stare was cold, lifeless as his gaze reflected the moon and her sharpened gaze - but his finger was quick to lift, "I know what you say, that Noxians aren't people, surely there's no way humans could do such a thing to eachother… But they did, they do, where they come from or their ancestry doesn't matter… Their blood is red, like yours, like mine, and almost everything in this world is meant to die. But I imagine you're asking my own experience."

His expression lifts into a small smile, keeping his gaze upon her as he cupped his chin, staring through her very being - at her hatred, at her hurt. "I suppose it depends on the person and how they go, but for me… My eyes were beaten until the green of Zaun turned into blood, the air was stripped from my lungs as I choked on the muddied puddle under me - all while someone much stronger than I held me down. I…I remember someone screaming, someone - a woman - begging for me to not go yet. I don't remember much about her, but she had yellow eyes and soft hands. I think we may have been friends at some point." The Ionian air tasted sweet as he sucked in to fill his lungs, a breath he did not need to take but one that was comforting regardless.

"I felt my body slip away and just like that, there was no more struggle, no more pain, nothing. I did not exist anymore, whatever I was had faded and I was never supposed to return. Yet here I stand." The mage's expression was hollow and blank of every emotion he had shown up to that point, "I suppose many die in fear, unable to rest even as they rot within the earth or are grinded up into meat for the Noxian empire. I've no doubt their grieving has bled into the soil too, how much blood do you think has absorbed into these very trees around us? How many Noxians do you think are part of this place now? Haha - and don't say Ionia wouldn't take them, nature is but a beast, a motherly beast - but it still has teeth and claws and will eat anything given to it. The corpses you've piled, that they've piled...well, its a bountiful feast."

Less so a laugh and moreso a harsh snort left him, "We all die the same, though, we're all human at the end of it. To say someone isn’t is to say we can do what we want to them… I am sure that the Grand General said the same thing to his troops when they were sent here. Maybe to make them feel better, but it doesn't change what they've done, what you've done, what many of us have done. Did you want to forget that they are people? I have to wonder if maybe you're just lying though, to know your family was torn apart by humans just like you and I - it's much more palatable to imagine they were animals lacking of any good qualities, that they could never cry in the same way as you do. Is it a lie you tell to everyone around you or perhaps a lie you tell to yourself? I cannot blame you, we are terrifying creatures after all, the only things on this planet that can justify stripping the life of another and then act as if our hands aren't wet with their blood."

It was odd, the way he spoke. There was no malice, no stinging venom like that of a snake - his words were flat and calm like a lake…a gentle acceptance of what change and death truly was. Nature's delight, he almost felt silly for trying to fight against it so often while alive, to try and bring his siblings back...What a foolish endeavor.

"…Why though? Are you frightened of death? Of the abyss? As I said, almost everything is meant to die - and being alive isn't so special either. Millions before you and after you will be born and die too, it isn't as though you'll feel anything after." A pause, "Death isn't something you feel, its just…the end; there is no more pain and suffering. No more pleasure but also no more desire for pleasure. You won't have to suffer anymore and won't be deprived of any deliciousness that you otherwise could've experienced. Existence is a burden, a burden that we are biologically programmed to embrace - there is really nothing to it at all. At the end, everyone's end, you'll find that what you've done will eventually wither to nothing too; when the great grandchildren of the people you've helped speak your name for the last time. "Noxian or Ionian, man or woman or child - you'll return to nothingness just as you were before, and even if Noxus tears Ionia to pieces - or Ionia tears Noxus to pieces… that will become nothing too." He smiled,

"You've been nothing far more than you've been something, and we are never meant to come back."

#ic #rp #bladesdanced #nihilism tw #dark themes tw #death mention tw #murder mention tw #verse: league #i really wouldn't suggest reading this if you're in a bad spot #ℝ𝕆𝔹𝕀ℕ 𝔸. 𝔹𝔸𝕌𝔻𝔼𝕃𝔸𝕀ℝ𝔼 ... 【 ᴛʜᴇ ᴍᴏᴏɴ-ᴇʏᴇᴅ ᴍᴀɢᴇ 】#cut for content

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hysteriablues · 2 years

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||I'm not the moon, I'm not even a star||

Just straight out angst, feeding into my Devilman crybaby hyperfixation. Spoilers for the ending

"You can see the stars clearly.

Its all because the humans are gone.

The rabbit is probably dead.

Akira. There's no rabbit in that sky.

I saw it with my own eyes.

Back then, I didn't know what you meant.

Love doesn't exist. There's no such thing as love.

Therefore, there is no sorrow.

That's what I thought.

Akira. Why am I the only one talking?"

What was this feeling. It was unbearable, it hurt and it wouldn't stop it just wouldn't fucking stop. Time had stopped in that moment when Ryo saw those lifeless eyes. The same eyes that he had always seen crying whenever something sad occurred, the same eyes that looked at him with such hatred just minutes ago. He would prefer those eyes that seemed to look at him in disgust than that lifeless gaze anytime. Everything was loud and quiet at the same time. It felt like a part of him was gone, forever. There was this feeling of emptiness.. this hole in his chest. He crawled at his chest, a pained expression on the divine beings face looking for any sign of Akira moving. There was none and he knew, he knew that there was no hope but he still continued to look trying to refuse the reality right in front of his own eyes.

"Akira? Akira. Right now... I'm feeling something.

What is this? Tell me. What is this, Akira?

Feel what I'm feeling right now.

Listen to me.

Akira. Look at me.

Respond to me.

Don't forget that you've been with me till now.

Say something.

No, Akira. Don't leave me alone.

Don't leave me.

Please, be somewhere.

Say something! Akira!"

He hugged him close hoping to feel the warms of his skin one last time, to feel him one last time. Ryo could tell it was time, the end was near, the reset was close and he only had himself to blame. Why had he been so foolish and not realized his feelings sooner. All he ever did.. was to protect Akira and now there he was, laying lifeless in his arm. He hugged his torso close resting his chin on top of Akira's head, the under half of his body was missing. He casted his gaze towards the earth seeing as angels and demons alike were raining upon it. It seemed like he only had a few minutes left until the final goodbye, until everything started over again, until he would end up in the exact same situation in little to no time again. He looked down at Akira's lifeless body one last time, Ryo couldn't stop his tears from streaming down his face. Something within him ached so badly, he wanted to destroy everything, to cuss out the one who had done this to him. He hugged Akira's body closer to his and closed his eyes. It was only a matter of seconds before everything would restart all over again. He wishes he could just cast everything away especially his feelings and thoughts, but those were the reason he ended up in this situation in the first place. With that he finally said the words he had been holding back all this time, the words that were always lingering at the back of his mind, at the tip of his tongue, always so close to slipping out but he never allowed them to.

"Akira, I need you."

With one final breath he allowed the darkness to take him. As the earth got engulfed in the war between angels and devils it eventually collapsed. A big fireball was the only thing that was left of the planet where Ryo had fought so hard to keep a single mortal alive, the only mortal that ever mattered. One last pitiful smile made it's way onto Ryo's face.

"I'll see you again Akira. I'll see you again in another life, I will find you."

And with that the darkness took both of them. The beginning was near again, the start and the end of everything. It all led back to Ryo. An endless cycle that would never stop. How ironic, no matter how many times the ending was near it always ended in pain and suffering. Maybe this time it'll be different? Is what Ryo had told himself over and over again, but deep down he knew he was lying to himself. Like always, lies seemed to always spill out of his mouth until everything was too late. How pitiful. In the end, it did not matter. Nothing mattered. Everything was just an illusion in the end. Everything was an illusion... right?

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mysticalmagician · 2 months

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Today, I am writing about something that I am sure many of us, and many around the world, have heard about. The assassination attempt on Donald Trump, GOP nominee for president of the USA, occured recently, and although Trump lives to see another day, this is making headlines throughout the world. This article just so happened to bless my news feed, and I felt inspired to write, because although the wishes which this man, Jamie Dimon, has for unity, are nice, they are also bullshit, and a pleasant distraction from issues the rich, and the elites, and the powerful at not only JPMorgan, but all corporations and governments around the world do not want for you to discuss or know about.

Where has all this talk of unity and peace been, in the months before this assassination attempt? Where is the care for the poors, the sick, and those without means?! Jamie Dimon, along with all the other rich and pathetic elites, sit up in their tall towers, safe and sound, not having to toil or do anything, while they reap all the benefits of our hard work - of the hard labour We the People perform. Not only do they have these benefits, all at our expense, but they do not give a single care about YOU, or anybody else, other than themselves; they are NOW, after so much time, so much suffering, talking about unity, and niceties, because they are finally scared, and waking up to the fact that We, the People, are far greater in number, and in power than they are. They do not want us to realise this; we COULD in fact live in a utopia, we could all have our needs met, and live in harmony. But the rich and powerful do not truly wish for this, because they enjoy sitting on their pedastals watching as we slave away for them as they need not lift a single finger. How is this fair?! Is this truly how they show they care for unity and harmony, as they pollute our homes and our bodies, all for their own benefits and wealth?!

We are the ones who will suffer at their hands if we continue to let them pollute our only home, our planet Earth; we are the ones who must work and we are the ones who will have to clean up their mess. Donald Trump cares not for you, or for the citizens of our lovely nation. He is a petulant man-child who spews hatred with every word, and happily dismantles our systems of order and law for his own benefit. All of these people truly believe they will get away with their rampant greed, gluttony, and hate, so long as they keep us distracted just long enough for the Earth of kill us off, so that they may go into hiding and come out when the time is right. Not only do they forget their place, which is high up on the backs of every other human around them, but they forget that the higher one is, the harder one falls, and the rich and powerful are absolutely no exception.

We the People have the power, we are blessed and divine co-creators in this world which we have been given; it is up to each individual to choose for themselves which path they wish to follow, and which God they wish to serve. Are we going to be the like the rich and powerful, like these monster plagued by countless demons which only wish to do us all harm, for their own benefit, or are we going to strive to live in the ideals which we, as a collective, ought to value? Harmony, empathy, love, and mercy, charity and all other virtues, and beauty, are all so loved by all, because they are good; we can embody these values if we choose to make the conscious choice to do so every day.

The Rich and Powerful have chosen their God, and they chose poorly, for they choose the God which is not everlasting, and not loving. They choose themselves, their prides and egos, and their material wealth and comforts above all. They choose these, even above their fellow neighbors and humans and families. They choose their temporary comfort as they sacrifice our very planet at their horrid altar of pain and suffering; are We, the People, going to allow them to this? Are we truly going to allow them to poison and pollute not only our home, which we are tasked with taking care of, but us, our bodies, and our loved ones?! Are we to give up the futures of all humans who will come after us, all for a small minority which does not even truly care for anyone or anything else other than themselves?!

Humans are important, and every life matters. Corporations, money, and governments are not humans; they are not alive, and we cannot continue to allow them to get away with all they do, because if we do not stop them soon, we shall all perish, and all be doomed.

The rich and powerful will not save you, they will not save your family, and they will not even save themselves; the Earth is growing ill and feverish, for we have allowed the rich and powerful to poison it, and unless we stop immediately, all of our hard work, and all of the incredible things which we all enjoy and love, shall no longer exist, and I ask you all to consider, for what purpose and why should we, as a species, and collective, allow this?

So yes, I too call for unity, my friends, followers, and family, but I call for unity of humanity, around the globe. Not this fake unity, which the GOP, and corporations are beginning to speak of, now that they are starting to become scared, and now that they are finally reaping what they have been sowing for countless decades; not of this unity, which is merely empty words and promises as they continue to dismantle our systems of life and pollute our homes for their own benefits - but of the true and good unity which comes from loving our planet, ourselves, each other, and accepting one another with love and kindness and empathy.

We are a social creature, and we cannot allow fear and hate to rule our lives, because if we do it shall be our very own undoing. I care for the world, for my neighbor, and for the world in which my children will grow up. I want them to grow up and take part in a world that is pleasant and beautiful and loving, and I know that all others wish for this as well. So I ask you all, to cast aside your differences, cast aside all the petty nonsense and bullshit culture wars and little things with which the rich and powerful distract us, and to unite in true love and acceptance, and to become the change we all wish to see in the world.

Do it, if not for yourself, and for your loved ones, out of spite for our true enemies. Thank you.

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empathenna · 3 months

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Gratitude- Empathenna

2024-07-07

Gratitude can often feel difficult, or downright impossible when faced with hardships. So it is ridiculous to look a struggling person in the face and tell them that it is all about “mindset”, “just take these few actions every day and watch it happen”. And yet, that is the single most powerful thing you can do. I will share my personal experience with depression and the day I decided I was done, I will show you how it changed my life and let you decide how growth mindset and gratitude go hand in hand, and how they have the potential to unlock your life.

—------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It can also be impossible to see beyond what you are dealing with, no matter how many times someone says “good will come from this”, or “look for the positive”. It often feels like an endless pool of misery, heavy, all consuming. It can actually prevent us from even pulling ourselves out of that place because there is physically no alternative inside our brains. A lot of people who discuss mental health talk as if we are capable of seeing what happens next, what could come out of this experience down the road. They suggest we search for the next thing, that looking beyond will in some way will ease the burdens surrounding us. That mindset diminishes what you are facing, and can steal away the legitimacy of the experiences or circumstances.

Instead I’d like you to embrace the events around you. It sucks, it’s painful, and it's heartbreaking, but feeling those emotions and allowing yourself to actually recognize that it genuinely does suck will help with the next steps. That’s reality, life sucks, humans are capable of both great love and great hatred, it’s the duality that comes with intelligence and free will. The feelings and pain you are dealing with are simply a human response to the circumstances or actions that have been placed upon you. And that’s okay, there’s nothing ‘wrong’ with you, you’re not ‘abnormal’ or ‘different’, you just feel it more. In the act of embracing those feelings you begin to experience acceptance, which leads to peace.

A lot of our anxiety or depression spirals are born out of this innate feeling that something or someone is wrong, or bad, or that we react disproportionately to our situation. When we separate our feelings from our actions we can recognize that how we feel is ok, the things that make us feel a certain way, happen because our brains have been rewired, or trained in a way to keep us safe. When we think through all the options available, or obsessively worry over a scenario, we prepare ourselves for the worst. We ‘pre-experience’ the terrible things, and then ‘re-experience’ them when our suspicions or worries are confirmed by someone else’s behavior or a set of forced circumstances. Any good or hope is crushed from the get go, any desire or true effort to do better or search for better.

For me it was a decision that shattered my life, made me question the core of who I was, my values and beliefs had been thrown out the window and I was a shell of a human being. I looked in the mirror and didn’t even recognize myself, I asked how I had gotten where I was and completely broke. Personally, this was my come to Jesus moment, this is where I gave up on this world and this earth. This is where I saw all the cruelty and pain and greed that urges these negative emotions on, this is when I stared into the darkest parts of my soul and decided I would not succumb anymore. Because I am a Christian, I turned to God for this- decided that nothing on this earth was worth the pain and suffering that it has caused. An interesting duality here- imagine simultaneously recognizing that this planet and the ‘things’ on it bring us the happiness we are supposed to have while also seeing that chasing that happiness inevitably ends in pain and suffering.

What a dark place to be in, what a sad realization, but will you be cynical? Or will you choose differently? Will you contribute to that darkness, those negative spaces in our lives, or will you choose to do better? Be better? Give love, not spite?

I’m not saying it will be easy, I’m not saying that one day you will wake up with the sudden ability to overcome all your difficulties, struggles and traumas. Hell, I will forever rage an internal war against the things I’ve taught myself to cope with prior circumstances. You must desire to learn, it is a choice of perception and mindset. Everything we face on this earth is an opportunity, a chance to see, learn, understand and love. Every interaction we experience holds lessons and blessings in disguise and can add an incredible depth to our perspective. I wish to encourage you to approach the world with a childlike wonder, in a Christians case a childlike faith. Do this and you may just find that love, joy and gratitude exist at the core of anything and everything.

It seems silly, gratitude in the face of everything, and it will always be an uphill battle. But you must practice, exercise it like a muscle. Each time you successfully think of what good can come out of an event rather than the bad, you retrain your brain on outlook, perception. Start small, clean water, a bed, a roof, I can practically feel you rolling your eyes through the screen “Those are basic needs, why should I say thank you?” I won’t go down the route of “starving African children”, but I will turn the question around on you. Why wouldn’t you say thank you? Why wouldn’t you be grateful that you can drink water from the tap, or have cozy blankets? Why don’t we celebrate and enjoy the small luxuries of life, the little things that play essential roles in our day to day? Look internally, are you caring? Kind? Compassionate? What are the attributes of yourself you are proud of, and how can you exercise them to benefit you and your life? Why shouldn’t you celebrate the parts of yourself and your life that are so beautiful?

If we only focus on what exactly we are experiencing, what is happening and could happen or has happened, when we spiral with our thoughts and feelings we miss the depth and prosperity interlaced through every event in our lives. We focus on the what, when, where and forget how much more vibrant our lives are when we not only look for good (instead of searching for ways it could go poorly), but also embrace it and give back to the world.

To me, we are taught that we must always want more, chase more, peace and stillness starts with gratitude and acceptance of the place we are in at our current time- or any point in our life. Tomorrow has enough worries, trouble not on what you cannot control and instead focus on what you can control. You can control the age old saying ‘you give what you get’ rings true, and you can say that up until now maybe you were giving what you were getting, but this works in the reverse as well. You experience negativity, you return with negativity, and get more negativity gifted to you. At some point you must choose to break the cycle yourself and start giving something positive to your life and the world. You are exactly where you are meant to be at any given time, because life is a series of puzzles that in the end all fit together. So if it feels like you’re missing a piece, or like your puzzles are all shades of gray and muddled, give it time for new pieces to come into your life and fall into place or for a wave of relief to wash over you and lift the clouds. Alternatively reach for that relief by practicing gratitude for the things you do see, understand or have. Every tragedy or traumatic experience has only made you stronger, because you are still here. There is some part of you, big or small, that desires for better, longs for there to be a reason or purpose to the suffering. It is too easy to wall yourself off, become cold and withdrawn from the world. It is easy to decide you are done fighting for love and choose loneliness over community because people have hurt you. It is easy to be cold, jaded and cynical. These are traits that make us feel strong, safe and protected. But you starve yourself of passion, fire, love, joy, laughter and frankly, life. It takes a far deeper strength of self and is incredibly admirable to stare into the cruelty inflicted upon you and choose to be better, do better. Choose to give love and not contribute to suffering- whether it is yours or others.

#hope #faith #god #personalgrowth

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area51-escapee · 1 year

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Misery. Loathing. Hatred and pain and suffering on planet earth. (<- he dropped part of his string cheese on the floor)

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sadlazzle · 1 year

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im horny as hell but im in too much pain n discomfort to do anything about it. hatred and suffering on planet earth tonight

#the one time i could use my wand and it doesn’t fuckin work #im too tired for all of this man #plum.txt

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maguro13-2 · 1 year

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Miku.EXE : The Rebirth Pt.3

[Empty Space Out of Control 2 - Fumie Kumatani]

[GUN FIRING]

Shadow : Stupid Illusions! Get out of my way! Just what is this "God" doing all over in my head. It's she's playing with these illusions. It feels like that I'm trapped in some kind of nightmare!

Maria's Voice : Please hurry, Shadow!

Shadow : Tch! (Kicks the illusion) I better hurry before it's too late! Maria! I almost there!

??? [V/O] : Going somewhere? It doesn't matter how much you put your anger and hatred against the human who caused your pain and suffering. No matter what your heart does, no matter what you protect, everything you see here is all my illusions that I have played with your minds. This is what your past has been like this and it becomes nothing more than a curse from your "Father". When did you expect that you couldn't save anyone, or swore your revenge on the human race.

Shadow : If it wasn't for Gerald, he would've saved Sonic's world in the first place! It was Black Doom that caused Gerald to go insane and causing the doctor to suffer his loneliness! It was his fault! Wait a minute, it was their fault! It was the ancients' fault that they brought a mess to Mobius with those emeralds!

[TV BUZZING]

Shadow : UGHHHH! *panting* What? Hey, how did eneded up at the room where I was at? I guess all that anger and hatred had me worried to build up.

Maria : You're finally here, Shadow. I knew that you could make it in time.

Shadow : Maria, I'm glad that you're safe. You're not wounded are you?

Maria : No, why would I...? I'm still here at the place we where at.

[Reflection - Kenichi Tokoi]

Shadow : Maria...forgive what the professor has did all of us. Maybe if there was a safer haven on the planet, we will find the meaning of our new lives. Or perhaps, we could visit their one day and spend time on their. So, do you agree if we could leave the ARK together?

Maria : I would like to... Shadow. Of course I wanted to spend time with you on earth, we would get to a safer haven to find the meaning of New lives" of ours. It's a pretty idea for us to leave this place with you...and me... together.

Shadow : Maria...

Maria : ... But I'm afraid that I just couldn't. I'll probably be staying here outside the planet.

Shadow : No! But the planet is so clear, and persistent, and you, Maria, would come to the world as promised!

Maria : I would like to. But it's necessary to think about living at a place like this and earth as well.

Shadow : I understand now. I best that I'll leave you alone right now. (Maria turns to Shadow)

Maria (?) : Shadow wait. (Shadows stops before leaving)

Shadow : Hmm? What is it?

Maria (?) : But before you go, I have one more thing for you.

Shadow : (Walks up to Maria) Okay. Let it out on me.

(GUN CLICKS)

Maria (?) : Sayonara...(in a distorted voice) Shadow the Hedgehog!

Shadow : Maria! NOOOOO!!

(GUNSHOT!)

Shadow : Agh! My arm! Maria...why? Why are you attacking me!

Maria (?) : Sorry to disappoint you, Shadow. You're friend has been dead the entire time after the Heavy Dog pilot have convicted for the crimes of getting her killed. But the humans will face their judgement of Gerald's crimes against Mobian kind. As a matter of fact, that was Gerald and Black Doom's fault that they're the ones who messed up your entire life. Maria ended her life, Gerald ended his life, The Biolizard ended life, and even Black Doom, your father, ended his life by you! That's the real reason the Robotnik family have been fallen apart and Ivo has suffered his life of loneliness for 50 years of tragedy and despair.

Shadow : The Doctor's loneliness. Gerald caused all of this? You mean he did that to the put the blame on himslef? Now I finally understand what you are! You're the daughter of "God", aren't you?!

Maria (?) : correcto-mondo! You guessed for it!

(Maria's appearance changes to real herform; it is Miku.EXE the whole time)

Miku.EXE : No wonder why you let go of your past. It's only a dream that you are in! You're too slow, Shadow! You couldn't save Maria, nor you couldn't stop the humans. You couldn't save anyone, or anybody. Now it's your turn to draw your last breath, you worthless experiment. There's nothing that you can achieve the ultimate power I have accomplished.

Shadow : You! Are going to regret that! You are going to pay for messing my mind! You hear me?!

Miku.EXE : Maybe you're right. Well, come to think of it, I guess that having a messed up life is a small price to pay. But now you're just willing that you were created as the Ultimate Life form, So I bid you a farewell.

(Gun clicks)

Shadow : And that's what you meant by that. You the daughter of a "God" is going straight to hell!

Miku.EXE : No, but thank you for noticing that. It will be you that is going to hell, where Black Doom is currently at. You first, Ivo last. Say your prayers, faker. Or should I say "Sayonara, Shadow the Hedgehog".

(GUNSHOT!)

~ GOD KNOWS THE ULTIMATE POWER ~

#sonic the hedgehog #sonic adventure 2 #sonic.exe #shadow the hedgehog #vocaloid #maria robotnik #sega #crossover #horror #mystery #thriller

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