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jordanstrophe · 3 years

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The Price of Freedom

My new favorite prompt <3

CW: Whump, kidnap attempt, bodyguard Caretaker with a reluctant defiant whumpee, restraints, manhandled.

“What do you mean Caretaker is going to follow me everywhere?!” Whumpee shouted.

“Darling! I’m sorry, but It’s not safe for you to be out there alone! Caretaker has agreed to protect you and keep you safe. You need to be appreciative!”

Caretaker tried to give them a warm smile, but Whumpee grumpily turned their head away.

“This is ridiculous! I don’t even believe someone is dumb enough to go after me! I don’t even have anything they could want.” Whumpee pouted.

“Yes, you do, dear. You’re my only child, they'll use you for random or as a bargaining chip for my company! This bodyguard is happening whether you like it or not!”

Whumpee dug their nails into their hair as they let out an agonized groan in frustration.

“Fine! Don’t let me live a normal life!” Whumpee shouted before storming out the door with a slam. Caretaker pulled down their sunglasses as they bolted off after them.

Whumpee crossed their arms with a shiver as they climbed down the long stairs outside. They could hear the heavy steps behind them of their new “bodyguard” trailing at their heel.

“Stop following me.” Whumpee cranked their head back as the slowed their pace.

“Sorry, I have my orders.” Caretaker said, their face solid stone.

“Ugh.. So how much are you getting paid for this? Enough to retire in a weekend?” Whumpee sassed. Caretaker didn’t respond, Whumpee couldn’t even tell a hint of expression behind their dark shades. Whumpee continued down the stairs, as so did Caretaker.

Mission make Caretaker’s job hell, was a go.

As soon as Whumpee’s foot hit the bottom of the steps, they bolted. They ran as fast as they could down the sidewalk, not even caring about the people staring at them. To be honest, they never did.

They took random corners, sharp turns into shops, then out the back door. They ran down the street until they slowed to a stop, huffing and gasping for air. They leaned their shoulder against the wall as they caught their breath. There was no way Caretaker could have possibly kept up with the-

“Nice try.”

“AAH!” Whumpee screamed, whirling around to see Caretaker standing right behind them not even short of breath.

“You- Wha-When? How!?” Whumpee stuttered with hardly any air in their lungs.

“I’m your bodyguard, how do you think?”

“Okay! Okay fine. You win!” They raised their hands in defeat as Caretaker smiled proudly. Whumpee dug through their pockets for their wallet as they found a shop that sold smoothies. They ordered their favorite, as they slumped against the wall on their phone as they waited for it to be made. Caretaker guarding valiantly at their side, of course.

When their name was called, Whumpee barely looked up. “Can you get that?” They murmured. Caretaker raised an eyebrow at them with distrust. “What if I slip walking over there?” Whumpee slowly lifted their eyes. Caretaker sighed, “Don’t go anywhere..” They growled before spinning around. “Yeah! Yeah...”

Yeah right.

Caretaker quickly gathered the cold drink, turning around to see Whumpee gone from the wall they left them at. They looked around until they found them standing by the road at a bus.

“You can keep the smoothie for your trouble!” Whumpee called with a chuckle, before hopping on.

“WAIT!” Caretaker shouted, dropping the smoothie as they bolted just in time for the bus doors to close and take off. “No!” They cried, as they skidded to a stop at the empty road. They watched the bus drive away as they could make out Whumpee waving goodbye from the window.

“Hey! Hey you! Where does that bus go?!

<><>

“Aha! Outsmarted.” Whumpee giggled to themselves as they proudly descended the bus. Finally, they were alone with peace and quiet, just like normal!

... Wait, where even was this place?

They were in a rundown part of town they had never seen before. No fancy shops, no paved roads, just dirt and ancient shops...

Oh well! Another adventure to explore! Whumpee went off down the dirt road to take a peak into the abandoned shops. They froze when a speeding car screeched to a stop at their side, dirt flying everywhere.

No! There is no way Caretaker managed to find them that quickly!

They watched as several men came crawling from the old car dressed oddly, dirty suit and tie, some with rolled up sleeves just to show off their muscles. Yet they couldn’t help but to let out a sigh of relief that it wasn’t Caretaker.

“What’s the deal, kid?” The obvious leader of the group nodded.

“Oh! Erm, nothing. I just afraid you were... Someone else.” Whumpee trailed off, getting nervous.

“Oh did you now? How sweet.” Whumper smiled. "You’ll wish we were them when we’re through with you.” He hissed.

Whumpee gasped as they lunged towards them, their fingers just barely grazing their clothes as they ducked. They tried to bolt away, but someone was already in front of them before they had a chance, they were quickly surrounded.

“W-wait! Y-you don’t have to do th-this!” Whumpee pressed their back against the old building wall, pebbles crumbling off it at just at the slight touch.

“That’s true! But we want to! I’d love to hear the amount your mother dearest is willing to pay when we tell her we have her only child.” He grinned.

Sweat beamed off Whumpee’s forehead... She was right... And so was Caretaker! They should have listened to both of them instead of acting like a fool. They even treated Caretaker horribly!

*sigh* Well well... if it isn’t the consciences of their own actions.

They raised their hands in defeat as they took their last breath of freedom. Their hands were roughly taken as they were turned around and shoved against the wall, their arms tightly bound behind them.

“P-please!” Whumpee begged as a tear escaped their eyes. Everything froze when they heard the sound of dozens of cars screech up surrounding them.

“Shoot! Boss, we have to go!” One yelled, as Whumpee let out a choke as their collar was roughly grabbed and pulled along.

“Stop right there!” A familiar voice shouted, as Whumpee blinked away the tears to see Caretaker leap from a car and charge in.

“Ca-Caretaker!” Whumpee cried out for them.

“Shut up! Get in the car!” Whumper yelled, trying to push Whumpee into the van. Whumpee refused to go easily, as they pushed back with their feet against the side of the car. It was like trying to get an angry cat in a bath.

Caretaker caught up as they tacked Whumper to the ground, Whumpee lost their footing as they fell beside them against the harsh gravel. They tried to crawl away as they could hear the constant slamming sound of Caretaker’s fist connecting with Whumper’s face, over and over again.

Eventually, they were arrested and taken away. Whumpee felt hand wrap around their wrists as they let out a fearful cry.

“Shh, It’s okay.” Caretaker whispered, cutting their bound wrists free. They helped Whumpee sit up as they used their sleeve to clean their face of the dirt.

“Are you okay?”

“Caretaker!... I-I’m so s-sorry!” Whumpee sobbed, as they broke down crying. They fell right against their chest as Caretaker pulled them into a comforting hug.

“It’s okay.” They smiled, brushing the dust from their hair. They pulled their coat off their back and draped it over Whumpee's shoulders.

“I’m just so glad you’re safe.”

Tag list: @grizzlie70 @alien-octopus @lave-whump @amethysts-sideblog @whump-it-like-its-hot @thingsthatgowhumpinthenight @yet-another-heathen @princessofonward @whatwhumpcomments @ill-eat-you-if-you-cross-me

o(^∀^*)o Thank you for reading!

#whump #whumpee #whumper #caretaker #caretaking #caretaker bodyguard #kidnap attempt #whump prompts #defiant whumpee #overprotective caretaker

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blindbatalex · 3 years

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Proud to present a carraville ficlet by the one and only raisin anon, re that boat scene.

The centuries-old wood that somehow still held the boat together creaked as it rocked slightly up and down with the gentle waves down the river. Jamie could smell the musk and wet timber from where he was laying on his bedroll at the bow of the small barge. He wasn’t particularly good with waves or anything that made the floor underneath him move. How could he be, growing up in a landlocked kingdom with little to no access to the outside world. When this was over he’d properly appreciate solid land like he never had before.

The barge wasn’t big, but it didn’t need to be. It only needed to take them down the river and across the Red Lake, a full sun circle of travel at most, usually not even that. The skipper had been scarce on the details, only said it wouldn't be several days and that was all they needed.

A boot suddenly stopped by his head, heavy and dusty and sending a pebble flying straight into his forehead. For being someone that supposedly shepherded plenty rebels across these waters, rebels that had no more experience with the ocean than Jamie and probably were equally horrible with it, he had a horrible bedside manner for his passengers.

“Up you get, lad. You can see your future ahead of you now.” He had a heavy accent, this gruff stranger that was tasked with taking them over the lake. Jamie wondered where he was really from.

“What d’you mean future?” he groaned out, and managed to lean up on his elbows without feeling like throwing up.

“Stand up properly and you’ll see”

The boot and the man standing in them moved away again, leaving Jamie alone to curse him out in silence. He used the wooden chest behind him to stagger himself up on his feet, and finally turned to look at what laid in front of them for the first time since he laid down hours ago.

The gentle breeze that met him once he stepped a little further up on the side chased away the remaining smell of wet timber, and it felt like he could finally breathe. The river's estuary was just behind them, and in front, open water on all sides. He could just about make out the strips of land at the horizon, and between them, the strait that was the end goal of their journey. Stevie had said he’d wait for them in the harbour there.

It hit him suddenly, that they would make it. The journey across the moor and through the woods, wading through the marshes, it was all worth it. There, so close he could finally see it, was their opening to a safer world, undiscovered and new and perfect.

“James?” came Gary’s voice behind him.

He turned to look at him, as dusty and dishevelled as he guessed he was himself, fringe flopping down over his forehead, a streak of dirt across his cheek. Somehow less green with nausea than Jamie. It was the most beautiful he had ever seen him. Alive, breathing, safe, and here, here together at both the end and beginning of the world.

“We made it, Gaz,” he said, almost in disbelief, and suddenly found himself clutching at fistfuls of the back of Gary’s shirt as he hugged him to his chest.

“We made it.”

He pulled back from where he had buried his face in Gary’s neck to give him a kiss and for once didn’t care that somewhere they had an audience in the form of a gruff-looking skipper. They were more than likely not going to see him again after this journey anyway.

“Thank you,” Gary said as they pulled apart. He was about to ask whatever for, but his lover had turned to the permanently bored-looking man with the grey beard and heavy accent. He hadn’t volunteered any information about himself other than that helping people out of the country under the nose of their ruthless king was something of a routine to him. Jamie couldn’t blame him for that. The less information rebels revealed about themselves to others the better. It had taken a whole year until he had learned Gary’s real name after all.

“’S me job, lad” the skipper replied, almost unimpressed by the gratitude and continued making himself busy with the tiller.

Gary walked over to talk to him nonetheless, but Jamie didn’t particularly feel like making nice. Not now. Not when they were so close.

They had gotten too loud and too critical of the king to stay any longer. To begin with, their plan had always been to stay and work from the inside, but then they had singled Gary out as the new leader of the resistance after Becks had died and Jamie, with his need to protect what he loved, had tried to pull the attention to himself instead. The end result was that a fortnight ago Gary’s sister, with all her inside intel and informants, had thrown a satchel in his face and a blanket at Gary’s and said they needed to go into hiding that night, and be completely gone by the next full moon. They had made it with four days to spare.

Gary suddenly popped up beside him, with a smile and a gentle touch at the nape of his neck, and Jamie took a half step back and to the side so he could put his arms around him. He leaned forward a bit and pecked Gary’s cheek, the one without the streak of dirt, and hung his chin over his shoulder. Gary leaned his head against his own and together they look towards the horizon.

Out there, beyond it, laid their future. It was uncertain and scary and nothing at all something they could ever plan for. But he wasn’t afraid. How could he be, when he had the warm body of the person he trusted and loved the most in his arms and several ideas of how to take a crown of a king’s head in his mind. They’d continue their work from the outside. Stevie had contacts, their skipper had contacts, Tracy would never get caught.

“We’ll figure something out” Gary said, as if he could read his mind. Maybe he actually could at this point.

“I know. We’ll make it” he replied, and for once didn’t mean out, but back in, back home. One day.

“I love you”

Jamie smiled. It was something he knew Gary felt, although it was so rarely expressed. He squeezed himself closer to him.

“I love you too”

They stayed quiet for a bit after that, only a gull far up above them breaking the silence with its screeches. Jamie could tell Gary’s brain was working overtime thinking about something just by his breathing, and soon enough he spoke.

“James?”

“Hm?”

“D’you reckon they make good pastries wherever we end up?”

Jamie thought about the gruel they had been eating for weeks on end lately, and on Stevie that had waxed poetic about the food in a letter that had been smuggled in months ago.

“The very best, Gaz”

Pies, rolls, sugar cakes and maybe even apple sweets.

“The very best”

#carraville #football rpf #raisin anon #fic rec #i love this to bits!

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imlostinsantacarla · 4 years

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alwayschic38: Hi! Can you pretty please do another dating Leah imagine?? Like what would it be like to be Leah’s imprint and spend time with her? How would she be towards her imprint? 💜💜

(a/n: heya hun! thanks so much for sending in your request. leah is literally my wife so i’m pumped to write for her at any given time bc my girl deserved better! leah is so precious, please for the love of god, protect her! anyways i hope you enjoy what i’ve come up with also lovely! - admin kat 🌙❣)

Disclaimer: i would like to thank @rosaliehalee for helping proof read, edit and co-write this with me! it means so much to me to have your help! 💕

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* 　　 *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

Being Leah Clearwater’s Imprint and Spending Time with Her Headcanons:

° Whenever Leah happens to stumble upon any amount of free time, she obviously desires to spend it with you. You are officially her anchor, one of the few people in her life that keeps her sane in her hectic life of shape shifting wolves and vampires.

° Your company is so immensely soothing to her that she often begins time spent with you having a short nap with her wrapped in your arms. Leah doesn’t always admit it but she feels very vulnerable, so when you hold her, all of her worries seem to dissipate. But there are times where she also holds you back and you appreciate that Leah is showing you her vulnerable side, a side no one else gets to see.

° Honestly, Leah Clearwater is just so grateful to have such a supportive, loving, and respectful imprint such as yourself. She never feels alienated around you, instead you radiate a warmth that reminds her of what home used to feel like before her life turned upside down.

° When Leah has a Sunday off, she loves to spend most of the morning in bed with you cuddling. The pair of you will just bask in the warmth she radiates and either enjoy the silence or fill it with hushed whispers.

° Leah loves to have her head in your lap while you read a book out loud to her. Your free hand tends to wander through her hair, which is the fastest way for her to fall asleep. She even nuzzles her face into your tummy!

° She also loves to walk up and down the pebble-filled beaches of La Push, no matter what the weather is like. She’ll hold your hand, fingers intertwined with yours and do mushy things like watch the sunrise and sunset with you.

° You and Leah like to go out on dates whenever you can. These can consist of driving up to Port Angeles or Seattle to grab some dinner and go to a movie, go out to a bar, or just go to a park during the day. It doesn’t matter what you’re doing, as long as you’re together. Dates with Leah are always laid back and just chill. She wants you to be comfortable around her. But to be honest, she spoils you rotten because you’re her baby!

° Y’all spend a lot of time with Leah’s family - and at the Swan residence since Sue, her mother, is now with Charlie - and it melts her heart to see you get on so well with Seth, her mother and Charlie. She also likes the fact that you get along with Jacob, Quil, Embry and the rest of the Black Pack.

° Due to Leah being a shape shifting wolf, she has stumbled across a lot of beautiful meadows and places in the woods that she just immediately thinks you would love. So cue her taking you to said places and spending a sunny day there with you - even if it’s raining, you guys will sit sheltered beneath a tree and listen to the rain pattering down and watching nature unfold around you.

° With you, Leah is incredibly playful. She enjoys doing spontaneous things together, such as mini road trips to Port Angeles for food. Sometimes you bring Seth, who’s always beaming from ear to ear as he watches the scenery fly by! You enjoy it when Seth tags along, but Leah doesn’t. You have to remind her that Seth needs attention too, to which she grumbles and pouts at.

° You both go on a lot of road trips together, sometimes taking her family or your family as well. It’s always a pleasant time.

° I imagine that she has a pickup truck that she inherited from her father, Harry. Sometimes, when the normally rainy skies have rolled their clouds out to sea, and the night is clear and bright, she’ll load a bunch of blankets and pillows in the bed of it, drive you both out to a safe spot at night and just cuddle in the makeshift bed she made with you. She’s so warm that you don’t need the blankets. You both stargaze and she tells you all about the different constellations,- something that her father taught her when she was young. The Quileutes were a fishing tribe who used the stars to navigate. She teaches you how to always find your way home, to her. She grins silly when she turns to look at you and you’ve fallen asleep, curled into a small ball into her side.

° Convincing her to take you cliff diving with her was a challenge. She thought it was a dumb idea because the boys do it to one up each other. Plus she heard about that stunt Bella pulled in New Moon and doesn’t want you getting any bad ideas. But once you’ve sold her on the pair of you jumping off together and holding hands, she comes around. She’ll start off on the smaller cliffs and work your way up to the top. She likes the thrill and also seeing how pumped you are afterwards makes her heart swell. And no, she didn’t let go of your hand the entire time!

° When you’re not over at her house or she’s not over at your house, she makes it a habit to call you an hour or two in advance of her nightly patrols. This is a way for her to spend time with you from a distance, if that makes sense? She loves to hear your voice grow sleepy and remind you of how much she truly loves you.

° When Leah is having a tough time with anything, you can just tell the minute that she walks in through the front door. You drop whatever you’re doing, open your arms and she climbs into your lap, whether you’re larger or smaller than her, and crushes you to her. Sometimes she cries and lets out her feelings and other times she’s silent, letting her mood pass over like clouds, acknowledging them and letting it go.

° Food means a lot to Leah, so she thoroughly enjoys cooking and baking in the kitchen with you. Sometimes she’ll let you taste a new recipe she’s made and smears the sauce on your nose because she’s goofy and carefree when she’s with you. Seth tends to walk in and pretends to vomit, only to get a piece of cooked spaghetti thrown at him. Poor kid!

° There’s a 99.9% chance that Leah is picking you up from work everyday. Even if she has patrol, she’ll get Jacob or someone else to cover for her. Honestly, Jacob and the others aren’t mad about it, they’re just happy that Leah is so happy, and glad they don’t have to hear her brooding thoughts anymore.

° Sometimes she’ll wait patiently in the car and other times she’ll casually just stroll into your work, wink, and fire a flirty comment at you. You can’t help but grin and laugh at her, because she’s so cute when she’s a dork. She embraces you, plants the sweetest kiss on your lips and then asks you all about your day.

° You attend a lot of the Quileute tribe bonfires with her and just bask in the relaxing and captivating atmosphere of the stories being shared. After the spell of Billy’s stories lets go, you always catch her beginning to snooze on your shoulder. Paul once dared to stick a wet finger into her ear and got his ass beat.

° You both even spend time at Emily’s. The tension between Sam, Emily, and Leah vanished once she found you. Although she and yourself still hold Sam accountable for the horrible crap he put Leah through, and the terrible scars marring Emily’s face But nevertheless, you just spend a lot of time with Emily because they’re both still best friends. Emily adores you so much and so does everyone else!

° Every second that you guys spend together is literally the sweetest and it melts my heart, okay?!

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* 　　 *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

please like, reblog and follow for more!

requests: closed!

#leahclearwater #leah clearwater #leah clearwater imagines #leah clearwater headcanons #twilight #twilight headcanons #twilight imagines #twilight saga #twilight saga imagines #twilight saga headcanons #twilight saga leah clearwater #twilight leah clearwater #twilight leah clearwater imagines #twilight leah clearwater headcanons #twilight saga leah clearwater imagines #i hope you enjoy these!#admin kat

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reyescarlos · 4 years

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can i be him || a tarlos fic

chapter 3/4 word count: 5.5k~ || read on ao3

'Cause a light came on when I heard that song and I want you to sing it again I swear that every word you sing, you wrote them for me Like it was a private show, I know you never saw me

It had taken Carlos forever to go to bed last night. He felt wired from his day spent with TK. It certainly didn’t help his mind relax to be lying right next to him. Sleeping beside him was nothing new but he couldn’t quiet his thoughts. His mind ran back throughout their day, retracing every step from the moment TK picked him up. Going into it, Carlos of course knew that TK had taken this outing seriously. Things between them had felt a bit off over the last few weeks but it was obvious that TK had meant every word he said during their call.

It’d only made Carlos all the more excited to see his friend. Ultimately, it didn’t matter what TK had in store. All Carlos truly cared about was the fact that they would have one on one time. The only notice TK had given him was that he would be taking advantage of both of Carlos’ days off. An overnight trip of any kind sounded ideal, getting the chance to extend the amount of time he’d be able to have TK to himself.

As TK drove, Carlos watched the scenery from the car window, his brow lifting as he began to guess at where TK was taking him.

“McKinney, huh?” he’d said with a smirk, so confident that he was right.

TK let out a sigh and jokingly rolled his eyes. “I figured I wouldn’t be able to keep it a secret for much longer at this point but yes. I know how much you love that place and I really wanted today to be special so, yeah. Decided I’d go with one of your favorites. It’s still been a while, right?”

Though being a resident of Travis County felt like living within a snow globe at times, Carlos could appreciate the facets of life there that somehow managed to make it feel much larger than it actually was. McKinney Falls State Park wasn’t far from either of their homes at all and yet, it was a place Carlos didn’t get out to as much as he would like. Luckily, TK was there to remedy this problem. Carlos couldn’t remember the last time he’d been there which seemed criminal given how incredible the park was with picturesque trails and stunning waterfalls.

“You chose well. It’s been months.”

TK had beamed, clearly appreciative of Carlos’ seal of approval. Carlos studied his profile for a moment, fixating briefly on the way TK’s smile still lingered on his lips like he was holding onto some private joke. Carlos forced himself to look away, back out at the thicket of trees that line the road as TK brought them closer to the state park. The journey wasn’t a long one, further prompting Carlos to wonder why he hadn’t made any real effort to come out here more often.

But he quickly did away with chiding himself. Had he not put off visiting, he wouldn’t be able to share this moment with TK. Not only was he reuniting with one of his favorite spots in town but he was reconnecting with his favorite person in the world.

Once they arrived, TK found a spot for them on the grounds, killed the engine, and flashed Carlos a bright smile.

“Come on. Those trails aren’t going to hike themselves.”

Carlos exited the car, coming around the back to meet TK at the trunk. His friend was already pulling out two backpacks by the time he settled in beside him. Carlos accepted the black bag TK gave him, hanging it off his right shoulder as TK closed back the trunk and locked the car.

“You weren’t messing around here, were you?”

TK had slipped his backpack on as well, putting his keys into his pocket.

“I told you this was serious business, didn’t I? Let’s go.”

They’d spent the rest of the day taking advantage of the park, going for a hike and exploring the terrain, relaxing their tired limbs afterwards in the creek, lazily swimming and wading by the park’s upper falls. It had felt as if they’d managed to leave the world behind, the two of them with a stretch of time before them. It’d made Carlos wish for an entire week like this but he was just grateful to know he’d have two days.

They’d come back to their camping site, working together to get their tent set up and spent the night sharing memories under the stars. It was perfect, to say the least. TK had been successful in making this TK and Carlos Day yet another one for the books. To know that it wasn’t over just yet, that they still had one more day in store had kept Carlos up for a while. TK had tuckered out pretty easily, the day’s activities making it so sleep found him effortlessly. Carlos was a different story entirely.

He combed through the day, trying to piece together his thoughts. It’d felt incredible to reconnect with TK again. Out here it was easy to forget why TK had called for something outside of their usual hang outs, to forget that TK was in a relationship, and to forget that he was trying desperately to move on from his decade long attraction to his best friend. Out here they simply existed ast themselves, free from all other titles and obligations.

Waking up this morning to TK’s soft snoring with the early chatter of birds outside their tent felt like waking up and stepping right into a dream. If every morning could be spent like this, Carlos would ask nothing else of the world.

Once they were both awake and fed, they began to break down their campsite, loading the car back up with the tent and supplies.

“What do you say to one last hike before we go?” TK asks as Carlos closes the trunk.

“I say that sounds like a brilliant idea to me.”

As they begin their hike, Carlos can make out the sound of the nearby falls, the rushing water a comforting bit of background noise in his ears. The creek is visible from this trail, running parallel to them as they wind their way through the trees. Carlos is already trying to plan the next time he’ll be able to come back.

“Thanks for bringing us here,” he says.

TK waves him off like it’s not a big deal but Carlos knows his friend well enough to see he’s proud of himself for choosing an outing that Carlos has been enjoying so much.

“No problem at all. We need to get together again soon. How about next Saturday?”

Carlos almost agrees quickly but closes his mouth and shakes his head as he remembers what he’s already agreed to with the one of the guys he matched with recently. Now the guilt of keeping this part of his life under wraps really begins to creep in. Carlos tries to think of a way to lightly breach the subject but he isn’t so sure that there’s a way for this to go that won’t make things a bit awkward.

“Uh, actually can we do a different day? Sunday maybe? I sorta...have plans on Saturday.”

TK’s brows furrow. “What’s with the cloak and dagger act? What’s happening Saturday?”

Carlos shrugs a shoulder as nonchalantly as possible, kicking at a pebble on the pathway. “I’ve got a date.”

TK stops in his tracks, the soles of his shoes scratching against the packed dirt like a needle on a record. There’s an expression in TK’s eyes that Carlos can’t place. If he had to hazard a guess, it would be surprise mixed with confusion. But there’s also an unnamable emotion though it clears before Carlos can put any more thought to it.

“You have a date?” he echoes, his eyes wide and brows raised.

Carlos scoffs, unsure of how he’s supposed to take the clear shock in TK’s voice. Sure, Carlos doesn’t go out with guys as frequently as TK but it still feels like a dig. He stops walking too, still taking in the look on TK’s face. It’s almost like TK doesn’t even recognize him.

“Is it so hard to believe that someone wants to go out with me?”

TK quickly shakes his head, blinking rapidly.

“Of course not, Carlos. That’s not what I...I didn’t mean—I’m just surprised is all. I didn’t even know you were talking to anyone these days, never mind going out on dates and stuff. You never mentioned anything about it. I just...I didn’t know. I didn’t mean anything by that, honestly.”

Carlos surprises himself with how quickly he gets upset by this. He bites his tongue on saying something snappy about TK missing out on a lot lately because he’s so busy with Alex. It’d only lead to even weirder tension than what he’s feeling now between them or, at worst, a fight. That would be a horrible waste of this uninterrupted time with TK. And, to be fair, Carlos wasn’t exactly keen on disclosing this life update with TK. It makes sense why his friend is being thrown for a loop now.

“Then what exactly did you mean?” he asks, trying to keep his tone leveled.

TK falters and breathes unevenly. It’s weird to be at odds with TK and part of Carlos wonders if he’s blowing this out of proportion, projecting but he’s too bothered now to examine it much further.

“Can we please just start over? I’m not trying to upset you here. That’s the last thing I want to do, especially now.”

Carlos looks away, shifting his gaze to the overhang of pouring water, watching as it steadies the second it meets with the creek. Carlos tries to mirror that in his own mood now, letting go of his frustration and settling himself before focusing on TK. His friend looks troubled and unsure of himself. They don’t fight often and this spat, or whatever this exchange could be considered, seemed to spring from nowhere. But Carlos recognizes that he’s let his insecurities get the best of him. This time was meant to be special, a chance for them to reconnect and get back on track. Sowing further division isn’t something he’s aiming for either.

“I know. I’m sorry,” he concedes, reeling himself back in.

TK stares at him for a moment as if gauging whether or not it’s safe to continue. Carlos nods his head once to encourage him to speak again.

“I’m sorry, too. I guess it’s just hitting me all over again how much things have been changing lately and I don’t like it. I want us to spend more time together like before and I want to know what’s going on with you— outside of work stuff, you know? But I guess...it’s pretty much been my fault, huh? I haven’t been around as much. I got used to us telling each other everything.”

Not everything, Carlos thinks bitterly. There’s been this secret he’s kept sealed tight for ages and it’s the kind of truth Carlos isn’t so sure TK would ever want to hear. But he knows what his friend is getting at. There’d been countless times over the years where they’d share the most mundane or ridiculous parts of their day with one another just for the sake of sharing. Carlos entering back into the world of dating was huge but it’d been a facet of his life that he wanted to keep to himself for a little while. Maybe it was selfish or maybe it was healthy, all things considered, but he could see now that it’d hurt TK to be left out.

“I guess we really haven’t been checking in as much these days.” It’s an understatement but Carlos doesn’t want to belabor the point. “And it isn’t dates, plural. It’s just this one coming up. I haven’t found anything serious so far but this guy seemed alright but who knows. You know what the scene is like. All these guys are basically the same on these apps. I’m not sure why I’m even bothering.”

It isn’t exactly the truth but this isn’t a door Carlos can open with TK.

TK’s eyes cast down as he fiddles with the pendant around his neck, his expression clouded.

“I’m really bombing as a best friend nowadays, aren’t I?”

The guilt is clear as day on TK’s face. His index finger scratches at the pendant, a dead giveaway that he’s feeling anxious. Carlos swoops in to settle him instinctively, a reflex that comes all too naturally.

“You’re good. You’re in a relationship now,” he laughs softly, trying to lighten the mood. “Alex is important to you and that’s cool.”

“You’re sweet but I don’t want to be that guy though, you know? The one that ditches his best friend because he’s got a boyfriend. I want to know what’s going on in your life. You’re important to me too, Carlos. You’re the most important person to me, actually. Always. You know that, right?”

Carlos smiles softly at him, bumping his shoulder against TK’s lightly. TK doesn’t engage. His eyes are locked in on Carlos’, completely unswayable.

“I don’t know if it’s supposed to work exactly like that now, T,” Carlos notes.

TK shakes his head. “I don’t care. You’re my number one. Even if I’m being a bit of a dick, don’t forget that, okay?”

His face is so serious that Carlos can only nod in agreement. “I won’t, I promise.”

TK sighs, almost in relief and nods once to himself. “Good.”

A silence falls over them as they continue to walk. Carlos keeps his eyes fixed on their surroundings. These last few minutes aside, these two days really have been spectacular. For as much as he hates being at odds with TK, Carlos is glad they were able to have it out a little. If yesterday was a time for reminiscing about the past, Carlos can appreciate that today was granting them the chance to be open about the present. There’s still so much he wants to get off his chest but the awkwardness is gone now and that had been a source of discomfort. Now Carlos feels as if their friendship has just recalibrated itself. The silence isn’t stiff or rife with tension. It’s just comfortable, a perfect reminder of how easy it is for them to find their way back to one another.

“And for the record,” Carlos says after a moment. “You’ll always be my number one as well...even if you have been a total dick lately,” he continues teasingly, swatting gently at TK’s arm.

TK laughs and Carlos can feel the last veil of nervousness lift off of his best friend at the sound.

“Asshole,” TK grumbles, a smile on his face as he wraps an arm around Carlos’ waist. Carlos doesn’t miss his cue, his arm coming to hang over TK’s shoulders, same as always.

“I’ve missed this,” TK says so quietly that Carlos isn’t sure if his friend is speaking to him or not.

Still he says, “Me too.”

TK looks over at him and smiles even wider and Carlos’ stomach flips as TK burrows into his side perfectly, two puzzle pieces indeed.

~*~*~

Carlos orders himself a beer while he waits for his date, doing his best not to let his eyes fly to the door each time someone comes into the bar. He keeps himself busy with idly looking at his phone, looking at articles, going over texts, anything to steady the crop of nerves in his stomach.

Michelle had messaged him earlier in the day, wishing him luck and urging him to have fun tonight. He wishes that could be the case but time is ticking by, his date seemingly running late.

Carlos checks his phone to see if he’s missed any messages from his date but there’s no new notice, absolutely no indication that the man has reached out to him. The longer he sits, the more Carlos doubts that this night will play out like he’d been picturing. He hadn’t gone into this date with any high hopes but getting stood up definitely wasn’t something he foresaw.

It’s been about thirty minutes now and Carlos still hasn’t heard back from his date. He sends a message that he figures will go unanswered.

“Drinking alone tonight?” the bartender asks as she works the tap.

Carlos chuckles dryly. “Wasn’t exactly the plan but it looks that way now, yeah.”

The bartender gives a small, polite smile and Carlos feels as if he could just die right there on the spot from embarrassment.

“Well, if it’s any consolation, I think whoever didn’t show is a total idiot,” she says.

It’s enough to make Carlos smile as she wipes at the counter with a rag quickly with a friendly wink before turning her attention to the group of guys that just showed up a few feet from Carlos. He nurses his drink as the bar becomes a bit more crowded with patrons.

This isn’t where he wants to be. It’s starting to feel suffocating being surrounded by people as the Saturday night crowd thickens.

If he were someone else, it would be all too easy to scan the room now and take home the first attractive guy that caught his eye. But that wasn’t who Carlos was, had ever been, or had any intention of being— now more so than ever. He likes actual investments. It wasn’t like him to be bold enough to salvage the night by hooking up with some stranger, even if almost anyone in his shoes would do just that. Carlos’ focus is completely shot but he manages to pull himself together enough to pay for the drinks he’s had and leave a generous tip for the bartender who turned out to be his only real source of company tonight.

He gets into his car and sits for a moment, the sounds of the bustling nightlife outside the vehicle a bit dulled in the enclosed space. He isn’t able to sit with his thoughts for long before his phone buzzes from his pocket. He takes it out, his eyes narrowing as he reads what’s written.

Oh man, I’m so sorry about tonight! Something came up and I lost track of time. If you don’t totally hate me already, could we raincheck?

Carlos stares down at the message on his phone screen, torn. Part of him wants to rage. The other part of him reasons that he could be cordial. At least the guy got in touch with him, even if it was after the fact. But Carlos realizes he doesn’t owe this guy anything so he opts to say nothing at all. To preserve what’s left of his dignity for the night, Carlos deletes the app altogether. This isn’t worth his time or energy, he’s starting to see. He was sick of this already. It’d taken a lot for him to be willing to take that first solid effort in moving on but this was already a misstep. Perhaps he just wasn’t cut out for any of this after all? Carlos can feel a moment of clarity dawn on him. He wouldn’t set any store into dating. He’ll focus on himself. That’s what all the signs seem to be pointing to.

He pulls up his contact list, seeking out the one person he feels comfortable sharing this upset with right now. The phone only rings twice before he’s greeted.

“Carlos? What’s up? Is everything okay?” Michelle asks, undoubtedly confused as to why he’s calling her so early, when he’s supposed to be busy right now.

“I’m not really sure.” Carlos surprises himself with the honesty but Michelle is one of his best friends. He can be open with her about what he’s feeling, even if he’s still trying to figure it out.

“I’m home now if you want to swing by. We can talk about it...or not talk, if that’s what you want.”

Carlos is quiet for a second as he stares out the windshield. He watches as people pop into bars and restaurants on the street, everyone seeming to have a great time. It’s a weird sensation to have a front row seat to all of this but not actually be a part of it. He could cave and go home and wallow on his own but that wouldn’t feel right either.

“I’ll be there in ten.”

~*~*~

At the end of their day together, Carlos had been happy when he and TK resolved to make plans for this Sunday instead since his Saturday was taken up. At the time it seemed like a great idea, a solid alternative that would grant them the chance to see each other again so soon. But as he sits across from TK now at an outdoor café with Alex who unexpectedly decided to join them, this is starting to feel like something of a nightmare.

TK had sent him a text ahead of time letting him know that Alex had asked to tag along. It wasn’t quite what Carlos had in mind and he had to wonder at why Alex even wanted to be there but Carlos didn’t object. He could play nice, he supposed. Over the last four months, he’s become something of an expert at ignoring Alex whenever they’re around each other. Interactions like this were limited, just the way he preferred. TK served as a good buffer, enough that Carlos could stomach conversations with Alex chiming in.

Carlos picks at his scone absently as they make pleasant small talk about work, TK sharing the latest crazy stories from calls he’s been on and Carlos doing the same. He knows they’re skating around the topic TK undoubtedly wants to get to but he’s glad for the layover for the time being. Alex hasn’t said much of anything, his phone like an extra appendage. He places it face down on the table, draping an arm over the back of TK’s seat before taking a sip of his coffee.

Alex has spent the better part of their time together texting, only offering a small laugh here and there. What was the point of him being here if he had nothing to contribute? Carlos finds it irritating and rude but he knows he’s more than likely being biased in thinking that. Anything Alex does seemingly gets under his skin. Carlos has been trying and failing over the last few months to curb the frustration he feels towards him but something about Alex just grates at him.

Carlos knows a considerable fraction of that is jealousy but there’s something else he can’t quite put his finger on that makes him uneasy any time he’s face to face with Alex. It’s much easier to deal with the man in small doses or, preferably, by proxy like hearing stories secondhand from TK.

Alex’s phone rings and the man picks it back up again. He glances at the screen, his arm slipping from behind TK to grip the device with both hands.

“Oh, I’ve gotta take this. Excuse me a minute,” he says, rising from his chair and stepping away from the table.

TK watches him go but Carlos watches TK. When his friend looks back at him, he’s smiling knowingly, tucking his chair even further under the table and leaning his head forward like he’s eager to hear a secret. Carlos knows where this is going. He figured the moment they were alone, TK would ask...

“How’d your date go?”

This was the question Carlos has been dreading and he mentally curses himself for having even mentioned to TK that he was set to go out with anyone. This could have been a truth he didn’t ever have to share. It was embarrassing enough to have sat inside the bar waiting for his date to show. Now he has to relive it and relay it to the man he’s secretly in love with.

“It didn’t,” he says simply but even still, he knows a response like this will warrant TK to dig further for actual clarification.

As expected, TK looks confused, his head tilting almost comically to the side. “Wait, what? What happened? What do you mean?”

Carlos’ shoulders stiffen, bracing himself for his own reply. “I mean, he never showed. I waited like an idiot for almost an hour.” He says it lightly but the shame burns white hot in the pit of his stomach.

TK’s eyes narrow and darken, his face growing stony. “That’s such crap. What’s this guy’s problem?”

“It’s fine. I should’ve known better than to get my hopes up. The dating scene here is horrible ,” he jokes, hoping to alleviate some of the awkwardness he feels but TK doesn’t take the out like Carlos wishes he would.

“No, it’s not fine and this isn’t on you,” he counters. “I can’t believe someone would be dumb enough to do that to you. I’m so sorry, Carlos. You’re incredible. Any guy would be lucky to even get the chance to talk to you, never mind actually land a date with you.”

It’s a bittersweet thing to hear coming from TK of all people. Carlos wonders if TK would ever count himself among the swarm of guys who would allegedly be counting their blessings if Carlos expressed an interest.

TK is genuinely bothered by this, so much so that his nostrils flare and his head shakes. It makes Carlos feel good to have someone view him in a high regard but he knows it’s just TK being a protective friend and nothing more. Ideally his rage would be because he wishes he had the opportunity but TK was so wrapped up and happy with Alex that Carlos dismisses the notion that TK is incensed for any other reason.

Carlos just shrugs, avoiding TK’s gaze by fiddling with his cup. He can hear TK breathe out heavily through his nose, his fingers erratically tapping against the table top. Carlos is used to TK’s tics. They always spring about when he’s feeling anxious or overwhelmed. Carlos reaches out and places a hand over TK’s to still his fingers. TK looks down and back up to his face. Carlos offers a small, reassuring smile and it’s enough to get TK’s shoulders to finally loosen.

“Sorry,” he mumbles, licking his lips. The muscle in Carlos’ jaw flexes instinctively at the sight of TK’s tongue working over his mouth.

“Don’t be. I’m touched that you care so much but I’m okay, I promise. It’s a bump in the road but I’m good. I’m taking this as the sign I’m sure it is. ”

TK’s brow arches, his body shifting in his seat. “And what sign would that be?”

Carlos shrugs, tracing the rim of his mug. “That maybe dating isn’t the right thing for me. At least not right now anyway. I took my time getting back out there and it’s already failing, so I’ll just wait a beat. I can be patient until the right person comes along. I’m done chasing after people. Whoever actually wants to be with me wouldn’t run in the first place.”

TK’s lips twitch like he’s gearing up to say something. Instead he stays quiet, eyes growing soft, his expression unreadable. It’s rare that Carlos looks at TK and doesn’t have a clue what the guy is thinking. TK searches his face as if scanning for any signs in his expression that he isn’t being completely honest with him here. Carlos is acutely aware of the fact that he’s still touching TK’s hand but the other man makes no effort to pull back. Instead, TK takes it a step further, lacing their fingers as he continues to stare at Carlos.

Carlos’ heart flutters at the move. If he could just have this all the time, if it could be in the context he’s been dreaming of for so long, it would mean the world to him. Even with all the upset over his failed date and overall attempts to move on, TK manages to cut through the static with a simple gesture like this. They’ve always been good at grounding each other, sometimes without having to speak at all.

TK’s expression softens, as does the tightness in Carlos’ chest. It’s odd realizing just how much influence they have on one another. If TK isn’t happy, neither is he and vice versa.

TK keeps his eyes fixed on Carlos and he’s unable to do anything other than look back freely. It feels like TK’s saying something important with this look alone but before Carlos can decipher the meaning behind those unspoken words or ask what thoughts are on TK’s mind, a clear voice speaks to the left of him.

“Everything alright here?”

Carlos and TK look away from each other sharply and towards Alex who has just returned to the table. Carlos hadn’t even heard him approaching at all. Now that he thinks about it, he suddenly can’t remember hearing anything other than the pulsing in his ears as he held TK’s gaze, as he basked in the warmth of their palms pressed together. This wasn’t the way he should be feeling or acting towards TK anymore.

His friend was in a committed relationship. There were boundaries that had to be in place. Even if he feels indifferent towards Alex, he feels guilty for overstepping in this area. While it might not have meant much to TK, Carlos knows what he feels inside each time TK touches him. If nothing else, he knows he should be putting a stop to encounters such as this. There’s actual significance behind it all for him.

Carlos can feel something like shame run up the length of his spine. It burns at the back of his neck like a summer sun the longer he looks at Alex. He slips his hand out of TK’s grasp and drags it back to his side, his thumbnail absentmindedly stroking the edge of the table. TK nods at Alex and smiles.

“Yeah, just having a best friend moment,” he muses but Alex looks doubtful. Carlos doesn’t think TK picks up on it.

He’s so used to smoothing things over with his beautiful smile and, Carlos supposes, that’s all this truly was for TK—just a brief instance between friends. His tone is so smooth and even; TK must not be feeling the riot in his stomach like him.

Carlos busies himself with his drink, taking a sip and watching traffic roll past as TK strikes up a private conversation with Alex. Carlos is glad for it though. His mind is racing far too much to be an active participant in this right now.

He’s been trying so desperately to move on. He’s convinced himself that it’s for the best, that he’s truly accepted that TK has gotten serious with Alex. Yet, at the first signs of attention or the possibility of physical contact with TK, he welcomes the gestures with open arms so willingly. Had he not vowed to himself the night before that he wouldn’t dwell so much on his feelings for TK? That he would spare himself the heartbreak and focus on work and looking inward instead?

Carlos knows he needs to get a lid on this and fast. He isn’t sure how much longer he has until the truth finds a way out.

“Los?” TK says, breaking Carlos out of his reverie. It must be obvious he’s been zoned out for a while because TK laughs and repeats himself. “I asked if you’re available Wednesday night. I want to celebrate my three years at the 126 with dinner or something with you guys.”

Carlos nods slowly, still pulling his thoughts together, trying to remember his own schedule. “Um, yeah. I should be out at about six, if things aren’t too busy.”

TK nods once. “Perfect, I’ll make reservations for 8 o’clock to give you time to freshen up and all that.”

Carlos still feels shaken but he manages to plaster on a smile. It’s enough to sate TK who resumes whatever conversation he had going before with his boyfriend. Carlos knows he’s playing a dangerous game here and that his feelings are coming alarmingly close to breaking through the surface. These little moments with TK have always been a source of comfort but now they were proving themselves to be roadblocks on his path to moving on. It was one thing to say the words but to actually do the hard work of distancing himself romantically wasn’t nearly as easy as Carlos has been hoping it’d be.

Looking at TK now, he can see that he’s in a good place. To tamper with that—in any capacity— would be the most selfish thing he could ever do.

He stares down into his now empty cup, feeling much the same— completely drained and needing to be wiped clean.

#tk x carlos #tarlos #carlos reyes #tk strand #911 lone star #userjilly #ronenrubinstein #sulkybbarnes #userpauline #starlightbuck #sunshinestrand #brilliantbanshee #sunsetcxrve #userthai #useralie #usermaddiee #kimmy writes

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areyoureadyforsomemeatballz · 5 years

Text

Cast Away (7): Who Knows What the Tide Will Bring

Summary: After a mission gone awry, you end up stranded on a deserted island. While you know that you have the skills to survive in the desolate paradise, you’re not sure if your heart will.

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader

Word Count: 1,500

Warnings: Swearing (as per usual). Two assholes back at it again. Smut(ish) (I’m working my way there).

A/N: It’s been for-freaking-ever. Work has been kicking my ass, but I’m back. Happy holidays, consider this a gift from me to you! Love you all. As always, I appreciate all comments, likes, and reblogs (they fuel my writing!). Scream with me or at me? Beggars can’t be choosers.

Also a huge thanks goes out to @throwmyheartawayagain for beta reading this for me! I couldn’t have done it without you, honey.

Fuck.

You dart back to the treeline as fast as your legs will carry you. Your drenched clothes are heavy against your skin, almost dragging you to the ground.

Keep going.

“Stop running,” Bucky’s deep voice sounds off behind you.

Keep going!

“You have to talk to me!”

The familiar words stop you in your tracks, and you spin around, your eyes burning with rage.

“I don’t have to do anything,” you spit as you sneer at him.

His face falls, and your sense of triumph fades into regret. You force your face to stay neutral, and you stay rooted in your spot.

“Real mature.”

You roll your eyes and scoff. “Fuck you, Barnes.”

He groans as you turn away from him, ready to find a new place to camp. Suddenly, he’s in front of you, sending you reeling into his broad chest. His arms fling around your waist to keep you both from falling.

“Stop running from me, dammit!”

You try to push yourself away from him, but his hold on you is too strong.

“You don’t get to tell me what to do, jackass.”

Bucky lets you go as if you’d burned him. “I wouldn’t- I’d never force you…” He sighs and wipes his hand down his face. “Just talk to me, please.”

His voice cracks on the please, and you feel your heartbreak.

“Buck…”

His eyes snap up to yours, and you feel your resolve crumble away. He reaches up and cups your jaw in his hands. The heat from his skin warms you to the bone.

“I’m scared.”

His eyes narrow, and he goes to drop his hand. Your hand shoots up to keep his in place.

“I’m scared shitless, babydoll.” You laugh softly at the nickname, and a bright smile cracks across his face. “Fuck you’ve got the prettiest laugh.”

You raise your eyebrows, and it’s his turn to laugh. “You’re beyond ridiculous.”

The smile he gives you makes your knees weak. “Hey, clearly, I'm a genius! I’ve got you talkin’ though. And smiling.”

You squeeze his hand. “You hated me.”

“I didn’t-“

The withering look you give him shuts him up. “It’s okay. I thought I hated you too.”

“Thought?” His smile grows, and you elbow him, making him cough dramatically.

“Let me talk,” you chastise with a smile. “You’re a dick.”

“Ouch.”

“Fine. You were a dick. Ever since you joined the team, you’ve been horrible to me.“

He rolls his eyes. “You weren’t much different, sweetheart.”

You toss your head back and groan. “There you go again! I thought you wanted me to talk!”

“All you’ve done is call me a dick!”

You can’t hold in your laugh. “I think I threw jackass somewhere in there too.”

He shakes his head, the corners of his eyes crinkling with his smile. “I vaguely recall that too.”

His thumb strokes your cheek, and you suddenly realize that he’s still shirtless. Fuck.

You tear your eyes away from his tanned chest and force them to stay on his eyes. Which are somehow just as distracting.

“Stop distracting me.”

He snorts and drops his hand. “I’m not doing anything.”

You narrow your eyes at him, and you force yourself to keep talking before you lose the nerve. “What if it’s just because we’re stuck together?”

“What if what is because we’re stuck together.”

Your eyes widen, and you play with your fingers. “Don’t make me say it.”

He raises his eyebrow but stays quiet. When you start to fidget he clears his throat.

“My feelings, okay? Are you happy? What if my feelings for you only changed because you’re the last person I’m probably ever going to see?”

He sighs. “I don’t see how that changes anything.”

“It changes everything, Bucky.”

“How?”

“How? What do you mean how? For Christ’s sake, it’s everything.”

Bucky tilts his head to the side, and you could smack him if he didn’t look so much like a lost puppy. “Your feelings changed, my feelings changed. I don’t see how our current location matters.”

A scoff rips out of your throat. “How could this ever be real? If we ever get off this godforsaken piece of dirt how would we work?”

“Why would we have to?”

“Now I’m confused.”

“So what if we don’t work back home! We may never get back anyway-”

You reel back, and your jaw drops. “I’m not just going to fuck you because you’re the only available body!”

Bucky’s body stiffens, and you turn to walk away from him. “I didn’t mean-”

“I’m done talking. We’re going in fucking circles. I need to cool off.”

You push past him and head back towards the lagoon. His hand around your wrist stops you for the second time that day. He tugs you back to him. Before you can think you're leaning up to press your lips against his heatedly, your arms looping behind his neck.

His chapped lips move against yours, and you are completely lost when you hear him pant out a breath. Your fingers work their way into his thick chocolate strands, and you can’t help the little tug you give. His responding moan drives you over the edge, and you back him slowly back to the bank of the water.

You’re not sure who loses their footing first, but suddenly you’re both in the cool pool, both laughing. He hitches your thighs around his waist and goes back to kissing you.

He pulls back and there’s something in his eyes. Some emotion swimming just below the surface of his baby blues, just out of reach. He cups your jaw delicately, and instead of kissing you again, his pillowy lips stop a millimeter from your own.

“I love-”

You tug his hair again, forcing your lips against his to cut him off. He moans again and rolls his hips against yours. An unmistakable hardness brushes against your center, and you yank him closer to you.

“Fuck, Bucky…”

He growls and nips at your bottom lip. His tongue darts out to soothe the dull, throbbing pain. “Say it again.”

“Fuck?” You give him a sweet smile, and he scowls at you.

“The fucking mouth on you, sweetness.”

One of his hands works its way in between your bodies and he cups you through your tactical pants. The whimper that slips out from between your lips would usually have embarrassed you if he didn’t feel so damned good.

“Want something, babydoll?”

“You’re an asshole,” you pant out.

He raises an eyebrow and flicks his fingers over your mound. “Tsk tsk. Ask nicely…”

Your hips roll against his touch, and he smirks at you as if he knows he’s won. “Bucky please.”

The words come out much breathier than you would’ve liked, but he doesn’t seem to mind. His blue eyes darken and he heaves your body onto the bank.

”God, you’re gorgeous,” he breathes as he slips his fingers under your tank top, tossing it somewhere behind you. “But ‘m not fucking you in the water. Chafing and all that.”

A breathless laugh bubbles up out of your throat. “Chafing?”

“I wouldn’t wanna hurt you, beautiful. Unless you ask for it.”

You go to laugh again, but it morphs into a moan as his lips latch on to your pebbled nipple. He grins around you as your back arches. There’s a soft pop when he starts working his lips back up to yours.

He’s distracted for a second when his lips meet yours and you throw your leg over his waist, flipping him onto his back. His eyes widen and he gazes up at you in shock. Bucky’s large hands circle your waist, squeezing softly.

“You’re not the only one with tricks, Barnes.”

He narrows his eyes and squeezes your hips a little harder. “Bucky,” he corrects with a grin.

You bite your lip to hold back a smile. “Bucky?”

“Yes, doll?”

“Fuck me?”

His laugh echoes through the trees, washing over you as he hoists you up and tugs your pants down. When you settle back against him you can’t miss that look in his eyes again.

Steve rubs his red-rimmed eyes and places a big X through another island. Ten down, three to go.

He startles as he feels a hand on his shoulder, and slumps against the touch when he realizes it’s Tony.

Tony squeezes softly and smiles at him. “We’ll head back for fuel and then we can check the last-”

“Sleep first.”

Tony raises his eyebrow and Steve gives him a tired smile. “You’re looking tired, old man.”

“One, that’s my line. Two, Little Red is rubbing off on you.”

Steve laughs. “Just don’t tell her that.”

Tony mimes locking his lips and tossing away the key.

From the cockpit, Natasha’s voice rings out. “You know I can hear you two idiots, right?”

Your head is pillowed on Bucky’s chest and your fingers play with the light dusting of hair there. He kisses the top of your head and you look up to meet his eyes. He gives you a lopsided grin that you haven’t seen before.

The arm that's holding you to him goes slack, but you keep yourself pressed against his chest. “We should probably head back.”

You pout and nuzzle your face into his warm skin. “But ‘m comfy.”

“You’re also freezing.”

“That’s why you’re here, duh,” you say with a smile.

He sits up and brushes off the dirt that’s collected on your skin. “God, I’d kill for a shower.”

You snort and pull on you nearly dry clothes. “The waterfall’s about the same as a shower.”

“We wouldn’t dry before dark.”

“We?”

“We.”

“Well, we can sure try,” you grin and push yourself off him, making a dash for the waterfall with him hot on your heels.

Cast Away (8) ???

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canvas-the-florist · 4 years

Text

Kat and Ann

Warnings: Bullying, transphobia mention, swearing, abuse mention, food mention, kidnapping

Summary: Kat never felt like an individual as she grew up until she made a friend.

Word Count: 2737

Kat was thirteen when she changed her name. Not that it mattered, everyone called her by her last name just like her ten other siblings. It wasn’t a big deal, and Kat was fine with that, it made it easier to transition too. Who could make fun of you for being the trans kid when several of your siblings were as well? She wasn’t singled out. Wasn’t much of an individual either. Kat went to school, studied, and got average grades. Most of the time, at least. She loved her family! Kat wasn’t close with all of her siblings, sometimes lost count of how many there were, but she appreciated them overall. So, why did she always feel so lonely?

When she was fourteen she stopped someone from beating up a kid on the ground after school. He was scrambling for all of his stuff and she sat next to him to help. “Hi, I’m Kat!”

“Oh, um, I’m Anthony.” Kat examined his face. There were two identical large scars coming up from his cheeks. “Thanks, for standing up for me! No one’s ever done that before, not even my brother.”

She helped him up and threw him his stuff. He mostly just looked nervous, scratching his face. Kat didn’t want to make him feel uncomfortable or anything so she flashed a quick smile. “Well if your brother won’t help I will! That’s what my siblings would do at least… Do you need to go home now?”

Anthony made a grimace, wrinkling his nose. “Not particularly. I don’t think anyone will notice. I live close by anyway. Don’t need a carriage or something to take me there.”

“I live close by too!” Kat exclaimed. She considered all the possibilities. Anthony hadn’t mentioned any of the other Katabazi’s and so far it seemed like they could be friends. Maybe this would be nice? “That means it’s official. We need to check if we can walk home together.”

“Won’t your siblings mind?” Anthony asked, and Kat let out a loud sigh (mostly in disappointment) after he finished talking. “Oh, are you not a Katabazi sibling? Sorry I just assumed with the blue crystal necklace and- I shouldn’t have assumed that was rude of-”

“Dude, it’s fine.” Kat gave a smile. Her hand went up to the necklace. It probably was a big giveaway but it was also important to her. A shard of good luck charm passed down through her family. It used to be her grandmother’s. The original was hung up on a wall, but it was still significant.“I’m a Katabazi but now you know my first name so let’s stick with that, alright? Or should I call you… Ann or Tony?”

Anthony let out a laugh, as they both walked through the small trail through the woods. “Honestly I wouldn’t mind Ann. Anything’s better than Tony. It sounds like I’m interested in attending galas or exploiting the working class. No thank you.”

“Okay, Ann! No galas or exploitation for you~!”

Kat and Ann kept walking through the woods to get to and from school once they realized they lived close to each other. It was fun to have someone to kick pebbles with or avoid fairy circles with. Eventually the leaves started falling and Kat put on a long jacket, with her necklace underneath it. On a walk home, Kat was balancing on an old wall covered in moss, Ann was walking along next to her, dragging his feet. “Hey, Kat?”

“Yeah?” They both stopped walking.

Ann gulped. “You’re a girl, right? My brother says you’re not and well, he’s usually wrong. Is he just… Being a dick? Or have I just been misgendering you?”

Kat’s arms dropped. Well, that’s one way to come out. She sniffled, but wouldn’t back down. “I’m a girl. Excuse me for saying but your brother is an idiot for being like that.”

“Okay, that’s what I thought.” The two kept walking but Kat still felt like she wanted to cry. The leaves blew past them, picking up Ann’s hat. Kat caught it and looked at Ann. He looked like he wanted to cry too. “Kat I’m glad we’re friends. My brother doesn’t understand human decency but he still got into my head. That was my mistake. I won’t doubt you about that stuff ever again!”

There was a pause as the wind picked up. Kat stared him down with a squint before putting his hat back over his curly blonde hair. “Good! Because your brother doesn’t decide how the world works. We do.”

“Both of us? We aren’t gods or anything.”

Kat shrugged. “How do you know? I mean cursed people do exist, who’s to say their magic is the only kind out there?”

Ann shifted uncomfortably, covering it with a laugh. “Yeah! We can be gods if we want to! Fuck nature! Fuck stupid brothers! AAAAAHH!” He held up both his hands and yelled to the sky. Kat laughed loudly before joining with a scream of her own. The two continued screaming, seeing the birds flee from the trees and the wind grew louder, like nature itself trying to drown them out.

The yelling devolved into laughing, they both fell to the wall for support. The wind died down and they were both sitting on the wall silently. Every once and a while they would shake the leaves from their wool clothing and go back to watching the scenery of nature. Ann took a deep breath. “I think my brother hates me for being cursed.”

“Do you want to talk about it?” Kat asked, looking at him. He shrugged.

“I don’t know… I mean I can’t do anything cool or bad but he’s mean about it.” He crossed his arms angrily. “And dad thinks that Garrett is the perfect child for not having headaches all the time or being slow or…” Kat put her hand on his shoulder as he wiped his eyes. “I just don’t understand. I try so hard not to let the curse control my life but I can’t help it! But sometimes I go into his dreams and he got mad at me about it.”

“Well, your brother doesn’t deserve you! I would love to have a brother like you! You’re nice and you don’t just assume what I’m like based on my family. It’s nice! YOU’RE nice.”

“You want me to be your brother? Is that a thing that can happen?”

Kat shrugged once more, crossing her legs on the wall. “Absolutely. We’re the gods remember? Who cares if we aren’t actually related or something. That isn’t relevant anymore. We’re siblings now!”

Ann smiled. “Yeah, okay! You’re a great sister, Kat.”

“And you a great brother.”

It was almost spring and the rain was starting to pick up a lot. But Ann and Kat still walked through the woods. Finally seeing all the frogs and slugs they desired. Ann convinced Kat that climbing the wall in the rain was a very bad idea and he didn’t want his only sister to die young. Because he would get arrested for her death. Kat couldn’t argue with that, even if she thought he could get away with her murder.

The day after that Kat didn’t see Ann in the forest. And for the first time in a while, she walked through the woods alone. It didn’t usually make her scared to be there alone, but after getting used to a person to talk to, she felt unnerved. The next day Ann was there looking sad. He brushed it off in the morning but after passing the wall on the way home, Kat stopped and sat. Signaling that they needed to talk about something. Ann sat down, without looking at her.

“Ann. You don’t need to tell me what’s up, but, do you… want to talk about it?” Ann didn’t make eye contact with her, but Kat could see tears brimming his eyes. “Ann?”

That made him start sobbing and his head fell into her lap. His hands were gripping the sleeves of her hoodie and she let him cry it out and the sprinkling off the rain started. She didn’t say anything and let him cry. Eventually he sat back up with bloodshot eyes, and Kat opened up her arms so he could get a hug. Ann accepted it.

“Garrett ran away from home today. I don’t know why and my dad blamed me for it. Because I hang out with you. I tried to defend you because you’re my friend, my sister even, and…” He trailed off and hid his face in Kat’s shoulder. She tightened the hug, trying not to feel guilty for being brought into it. Kat assumed the worst but didn’t bring any of it work. “I don’t want to go home either. I think Garrett was right to leave. Even if he’s a jerk.”

“My parents would understand if you needed to come to my house.” She offered.

They stopped hugging to face each other. Ann wiped his face as more tears fell, he started laughing. The rain was coming down harder, he was openingly sobbing and crying through it all. Kat started laughing too. It was horrible surviving the weather, but they were doing it together so it was fine.

“That’d be great, I think.” They held their arms around each other’s shoulders running out of the rain and into Kat’s home. And it was fine. Kat’s siblings fussed over the two of them getting mud in the house and possibly getting sick. One of her older brothers was a little concerned about the crying white kid in the house but didn’t say anything. Kat had mentioned a new friend that she made a while ago and that was that.

Eventually Ann had stopped visiting his father, and even later he was practically adopted by Kat’s family. Kat wouldn’t admit it, but she cried a little when her mom gave him a copy of the blue crystal good luck charm. Ann knew she did though, he was just kind enough not to mention it.

Ann had moved into Caleb’s room after he moved out. Kat and Moss’s room was across from that. He was the only cursed person in the entire house. He would be hurt easily and his stamina wasn’t very good because of it. It would worry Kat a lot. Lelise had told Kat that the curse had to be a secret but she didn’t specify why. The house became emptier as the older siblings grew up and moved out. When Nia was getting ready to move out they shared a nice dinner together.

Kat and Ann stayed behind at the end to clean up the table.

“Hey Kat? What do you think you’ll do when you move out?”

She looked up at him for a moment before going back to pick up the utensils. “I haven’t decided yet. Don’t really feel motivated to do anything in particular…” They went back to the silence for a moment, the only noise being the clinks of dishes gently hitting each other. Kat cleared her throat before opening a drawer. “What about you? Any fun ambitions?”

He gave a soft smile. “I think I want to help other people. Like work through their emotions and stuff. Is there a word for that?”

“I’m not sure, but I think you’d be great at it, Ann.” The two finished cleaning up and sat down at the table. Kat had crossed her legs on the seat while Ann had one leg up on his seat. She messed with her hair idly while looking outside. Fireflies were gently floating around peacefully. “Do you want to go on a walk through the forest? I think I have nerves to work out.”

“What, like to our old school?” Kat gave a shrug and Ann chuckled quietly. “That sounds fun actually. Why not?”

Ann got on his hat and Kat draped her blue cloak over her shoulders. They walked out after leaving a note behind on the newly cleaned table. The two siblings laughed together, going past the trees. Kat danced in circles as they went on their way, causing her to trip over a root and land on her back. Ann leaned down next to her.

“Wow, klutz.”

“Pshh, shut up, moron.” She got up, shaking the dry leaves and grass off her clothes. As she got a leaf off, Kat noticed something in the distance. “Oh shit, is that the wall?”

Ann squinted and ran over to it, causing his sister to follow after. It was even more dilapidated than the two remembered. Moss and plants were growing in between the rocks and a lot of the wall was on the forest floor surrounding it. “I can’t believe it’s still up. This thing used to give me so much anxiety when you would balance on- Kat why are you climbing it? It’s like a century old!”

“We’re gods, remember? I can do what I want!” She placed her hands on her hips. The cobblestone wall seemed to crumble into smaller pieces under her weight, which made Ann bite the inside of his cheek nervously. Kat rolled her eyes but moved to step off of it, not wanting to contribute to his constant worrying. “Okay, I’ll get off now.”

She stopped when she heard people yelling deeper in the forest. Kat turned and saw a dimly lit lantern in the distance. “Who are they?” She whispered under her breath, before tripping over a rock. Ann quickly reached out his hands to stop her from falling. And she did stop, but she wasn’t being held by anything but a pink glow. Kat’s eyes widened before dropping the rest of the way. Ann quickly sat next to her on the ground as the unnatural light grew brighter.

“I thought you weren’t supposed to use your curse because it hurts your body?” Kat murmured. Ann was clutching his head, and didn’t respond. She peaked her head over the wall, there were three figures, only one holding a lantern.

“Listen there is a cursed person in that house! I’m not lying!” One yelled. Kat squinted her eyes, trying to see better in the darkness. She could barely make out rope around this person’s hands. She turned back to Ann, to tell him they had to get out of here and he was clutching his legs with a shocked expression on his face.

Kat lightly tapped his shoulder. He looked at her and mouthed ‘That’s my brother.’ She turned back to the group and saw that they had gotten much closer than she had anticipated, making eye contact with one. A person holding a lamp and seemed to have a vacant expression, if they could ever change their face, it didn’t show. They pointed at her so she grabbed Ann’s arm and dragged him as they ran. The people gave chase.

“That’s him! He’s the cursed one!”

Ann let out a cry as his arm got grabbed by the cloaked, expressionless one. “Good job, Garrett. You’ll make a good recruit.” Kat looked back at them and desperately reached for Ann’s hand, as he tried to grab hers.

“Ann!” She called out. The one holding up Garrett stepped on her hand as the other one picked up her brother off the ground. Kat grabbed her hand and helplessly watched as they disappeared. Ann had been hurt by so many people and yet he only wished to help people. Kat was never like that. She was so scared of being considered just another one of her siblings that she didn’t focus on her future. But she wanted to help Ann, or people like him. After months of searching for Ann, nothing had come up. It was like he had never existed at all. Kat gave up after a year.

So she decided to do something else instead. Maybe Ann was dead for being cursed. Kat went to a bigger city and trained to be stronger, without breaks. She lived with her brother Caleb and his husband Merlin until she could support herself with a brand new job. On her first day, Kat walked into the building confidently and took a breath. The man running the business gave a nod and handed her a badge.

“Welcome, Kat Katabazi, to your first day at the Charlotte Institute.” His head tilted to the side without a smile.

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surveys-at-your-service · 4 years

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Survey #334

"i dreamed i was missing / you were so scared / but no one would listen, ‘cuz no one else cared”

Sunrise or sunset? Sunset has prettier colors, imo, but I enjoy the pastel nature of sunrises, too. Are you mentally ill? Oh brother. Are you physically ill? I don't have any serious physical health issues, no. Introvert or extrovert? I'm a very strong introvert. What do you think when you look at your body? That it's fucking disgusting. What have others said when they look at your body? When I was healthy, I was complimented every now and again. With the body I have now? I'm glad people keep their months shut. Do you have a particular song that you feel deeply? There's a good 'ole handful or two. Talk about a time in your life where you have felt most alive? It's weird, I'm not a city person at all, but possibly when I was walking the streets of Chicago with Sara and her dad one evening. There was just so much life, so many new sights, that it was impossible not to. Plus, I was at a very happy point in my life, so. I just enjoyed a lot. Are you confident wearing a bikini? FUCK NO. Have you ever been hurt physically or mentally by a family member? Mentally, obviously. Everyone has at some point. I've never been seriously physically hurt by family, but Mom did spank my sisters and me as kids if we did something wrong. Biggest lie you have told? I don't really know. I get really uncomfortable telling even minor lies, so making a big one would be excruciating. I'm not saying I've never said a biggie, I'm sure in 25 years of life I said something stupid at one point, I just don't remember it. Do you believe in the Illuminati? Nah; there's some compelling evidence, but I just think it's way too big of a secret to keep. Regrets in your life? Blaming the breakup entirely on Jason and saying just plain cruel things to him afterwards. Also sending an appallingly hateful letter to Dad to vent after the divorce. Flirting with my then-best friend's boyfriend at the time behind her back. Dating Tyler (it's a small one, but still a regret). There are others, those are just the only ones coming to me right now. Achievements in your life? Lots of academic success and awards (before college, anyway...), artistic accomplishments like having my work put in a museum, surviving a traumatic breakup, (mostly) recovering from massive depression... What did people say about you in school? Nothing, really. I was a quiet student who just did her work and tried hard. Is there something you have never told anyone? Yes. If you had two days to spend one million dollars how would you spend it? First, I'm paying off college debt. Then Mom gets a new car, followed by me getting new glasses and renewing my permit. I'm getting a good terrarium setup for Venus. Then, it's tattoo time, baby, haha. I can't really do the mental math on how much this all would cost, but those are the high-priority things I can think of. Describe your first kiss? Was it how you imagined? Jason and I were playfighting in bed, and he had me pinned. Our faces were close, and I decided to kiss him. It was a fairy tale moment, in my eyes. He looked so bashful for once (he's far from shy) but also really happy, and I was too. Growing up were you in a wealthy, average, or low income household? Low, I think. Or maybe average, when Dad was still around. Have you been raised by a solo parent? When I was around 17, my parents split, so kinda-sorta. Do you know both your parents? Thankfully, yes. Have you abused drugs or alcohol? No. Are you comfortable accepting compliments? Ehhhh, I really appreciate them and they can make my whole day, but I'm very awkward about it. I get shy. Are you comfortable giving compliments? Oh yes. I honestly love giving compliments; I know how happy they can make me, so why not share that with others? Is any mental illness hindering your life? Guess. (: Is any physical illness hindering your life? Well, it's not an "illness," but the muscles in my legs have severely atrophied from leading such a horribly sedentary lifestyle, and that has greatly affected my ability to work without the risk of just collapsing. Walking at all is painful. Are you preparing for an apocalypse? No. I'm not really one to worry about "prepping." If it happens, it happens, man. I'm not spending loads of money on a "maybe." Are you interested in cults? Not really, no. Are your parents good cooks? Mom is fine, but it's hard to really judge Dad's cooking since he barely ever did it, plus I haven't had his cooking in many, many years. I remember he was great at making breakfast, though. That was like a rare treat, him deciding to make breakfast for everyone. Have you ever been to a chiropractor? Did you like it? No. Do you know anyone who is an actor? No. Have your wisdom teeth come through yet? They never did. Have you ever used a public pay phone? No. Have you ever made an item of clothing? No. Have you taken someone's virginity? No. Is confidence cute? "Confidence, yes. But cockiness and arrogance, no. That’s a whole different area that’s definitely not cute." <<<< Nailed it. Would you be able to date someone who doesn’t make you laugh? Doubt it. Are you one of those people who never drinks soda? No; rather, I drink too much of it. I'm trying really hard to lay off of it, and I drink nowhere near as much as I used to (when oddly enough, I was healthy and fit), but I'm still not comfortable drinking a can and a half a day. Listening to? "Castle of Glass" by Linkin Park. Kinda obsessed. Ever used a bow and arrow? No, but archery is cool. Last time you got a portrait taken by a photographer? I don't think this has happened since my senior shot in HS. Take a vitamin daily? Daily, no, but I really should. I take a Vitamin D capsule every Sunday, though. Favorite Taylor Swift song? I only really like "Love Story" and "Picture to Burn." Have you ever cried because you were so happy? Yeah. Which are better: black or green olives? I don't like olives period, but I guess black. What’s your 3rd favourite animal? Huh, never thought of #3, just #1 and #2: meerkats and opossums. Maybe snakes? Do you like mushrooms? NO. NO NO NO. What dream do you remember most vividly? One I don't talk about. A childhood nickname? Mom called me "Twinkie" and still sometimes does. ;-; Does anyone in "real life" know that you take surveys? Would you be embarrassed if they found your blog? Just Sara. And yes, regarding some people. Who was the last person you blocked on social media? Did you have an argument that lead to that happening? I'm unsure, but probably. I don't tend to just like... randomly block people. What was the first social media account you remember signing up for? Are you still a member of that particular website, if it even still exists? Of course it was MySpace. It's still floating around somewhere in cyberspace. What website from your childhood/teen years do you wish still existed? I get nostalgic over the Animal Planet forums sometimes. Have you ever met up with anyone in real life that you first met via the internet? Did you get on as well as you thought you would? Yes, Sara. I felt like it would go just fine, but it went even better than I expected - I was oddly very comfortable around her and her family. Have you ever tried any of those meal replacement shakes? Are you a fan of things like that in general? Yeah; I tried many brands until I settled for Equate, surprisingly. Cheap does not equate to bad quality, my friends. We always have the chocolate ones in the house, and they're really not bad at all. Are you the kind of person to enjoy taking naps? I love me my daily nap, man. What's your favourite kind of cheese to have on a pizza? Idk, whatever cheese is normally used, lol. What's a hobby you loved when you were younger but no longer enjoy for whatever reason? I guess video editing. I can't say I'd no longer enjoy it at all, but now the idea sounds far more like a chore than fun. Is there a popular food/drink that you can't stand? What is it and why don't you like it? I could name five dozen, but here's just a few: coffee, pie, tea, fried chicken (or is that just a Southern thing to be obsessed with?), and... of course now that I'm asked this question, I'm blanking on the huge number I know exist. As for "why," that varies, but it's either just simply a taste or even a texture thing. How would your wedding boquet look like? I want a gothic-themed wedding, so imagine a mix of black and maroon roses... whew-wee. You’re at a bar, and you witness a man drugging some girl's drink. What do you do? No hesitation, I'm decking the motherfucker. Fuck my fear of men, he's getting knocked out, and I'm immediately alerting the staff, as well as of course the girl. Kids? How many? Why? Names? Boy or girl? Y'know, loads and loads of scaly and hairy ones. Got plenty of name ideas depending on what they are and how they look. The only baby whose gender matters to me is the tarantula because females live waaaay longer. Fuck them human babies, not for me. Are you an organ donor? Absolutely. I sure as hell ain't usin' 'em once I'm dead, so consider it my last act of selflessness. Whats the most you’ve ever lost gambling? I don't gamble. What is something you can never give up (that's not love or family)? My pebble from my "graduation" from my first partial hospitalization program. It's meant to symbolize how great pain and trials can file you into something beautiful. It was passed around group, everyone holding it in their hands as they wished me well and spoke their piece about me. I'm honestly just fighting back tears remembering it. Have you ever waited in line overnight for something? No, I'm way too impatient for that shit.. Do you think having an expensive phone is a good investment? Hm. I guess it depends on what you use it for. Have you ever witnessed a birth in person? A human birth, no fucking thank you. I've only ever seen pet cats give birth. Does anyone in your family smoke? My dad does, big time. He quit drinking, but never quite managed to stay away from cigarettes. Have you ever had a pet escape and run away? Seeing as I grew up with outdoor cats that we couldn't afford to fix, pretty much all of our tomcats left for roving once they came of a certain age. Do any of your exes know each other? Juan and Jason know each other, Jason and Girt know one another as well, and Sara and Girt have met. What’s an opinion you find impossible to take seriously? I simply cannot fathom the belief that "dinosaurs never existed." Explain the fucking fossils, like come the fuck on. It's absolute denial in the name of religion. What was the very first election you voted in? This one that just passed, actually. What is one random fact about you? I want like 20 tarantulas but Mom says no. :( Do you spend a lot of time outdoors in the summer? Fuck no, I will do anything to stay inside in summer. Do you wear band tees? if yes, which one is your favorite? I love band tees, yeah. My Ninja Sex Party shirt is the most comfortable, but comfort aside, it's hard to pick a favorite. Possibly my Otep one, 'cuz the design is dope. Do you ever re-arrange your room? No. What season do you want to get married in? Fall. What is the highest name-brand thing you own? Oh god, I don't own expensive brand stuff. I guess the only exclusion would be my Cloak shirt, but even that's not like, mad pricey. What color GameBoy did you have as a kid? Red. What was your favorite GameBoy game? Maybe that Catz game? Even though the music was the most fucking obnoxious meowing ever lmao. What was the last compliment you remember someone gave to you? Who was it? It was this guy in my PHP group; my therapist surprised the fuck out of me by sharing with everyone my most recent poem (I trust him a lot, and he urges me to send him my art, so I've done that twice), and I nearly fucking died from cardiac arrest. However, this Nick guy, who's a poetry major, told me it was better than stuff he reads in his Master's program. I almost cried. Have you ever personally been friends with a stripper or prostitute? No, not that I'm opposed though or anything. If you have tattoos, which one that you have was the most painful? The one on my inner forearm. Have you ever actually met and talked to someone who’s famous? No. When was the last time you got a parking ticket for anything at all? I never have. Do you have any pets who will bite anyone else out there, besides you? No; Roman won't even come close enough to a stranger TO bite, haha. It's funny, he's so goofy and you'd guess outgoing, but instead, he's terrified of people he doesn't recognize. What’s your favorite type of sushi? I don't eat sushi. What’s your favorite patriotic song? Don't have one. Have you ever read a book about a character in a psych ward? No, and I'd really prefer not to because it would just drag me back to dark times. Have you ever been in a mental hospital as a patient? ^ Have you ever had an ulcer? No. Do you like soy sauce? omfg no What’s your favorite store to browse around? Morph Market. @_@ It's a hub for reptiles for sale, and I have my days where I just browse the ball python morphs for like an hour or so, haha. What’s the name of the most recent baby a friend had? Christ, half my friends on Facebook are having babies, idr. I don't know who was the most recent. Do people normally say you’re a fast typer, or are you rather slow? I'm very fast. Have you ever been considered the "smartest person in school?" No; that was my friend Hannia. I'm pretty certain she would qualify as a genius. Her GPA was fucking incredible. Were you named after anyone famous or anyone on television? No.

#survey #surveys #questions #lyrics: ''leave out all the rest'' by linkin park

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missroserose · 5 years

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We’ll Become Who We Meant To Be

Donation prompt #1. For @ihni.

“I think that we all do heroic things; but hero is not a noun, it’s a verb.” --Robert Downey, Jr.

“Good morning,” Joyce Byers said with some irony.

She was sitting at the table in the darkened kitchen, lit only by the hood lamp over the aging stove and the bright cherry of her cigarette. Steve glanced at the clock over the range; it was past one AM. He avoided looking at the freezer, even though he knew the corpse of the demo-dog was gone; he’d buried it himself, yesterday.

“Sorry,” he said, felt a little like he was intruding on a private moment. “I couldn’t sleep.”

Joyce smiled, looking for a moment like an old priestess, careworn but welcoming. “That makes two of us. Come on, sit down.”

Steve sat, gingerly—Joyce looked so tired, the perennial circles under her eyes even darker than usual. Not that his own mug was any great work of art, in its current condition.

As if sensing his thoughts, Joyce asked, “How’s your face?”

He gave an embarrassed sort of half-shrug. The truth was, it hurt like a bitch. “Nothing broken. It’ll heal.” A pause, as he scrambled for something to say. “How’s Will?”

She gave a wry half-smile to match his shrug. “He’ll heal, at least.” A pause, as she took a drag on the cigarette, held it in for a moment, blew it out. “Or he won’t. But he’s a tough kid. Tougher than people give him credit for.”

Steve thought of the sight that met him when he checked on the kids a minute ago, sleeping preteens draped over each other like puppies sharing warmth. “He has good friends.”

“Better than yours were?” Her question prodded at a less physical sort of bruise, and Steve winced. Joyce shook her head in a vague apology. “I’m sorry. I don’t mean to pry. But you seem awfully lonely. The kids are great, but…”

Steve understood what she meant. “I guess. All my friends were...assholes, really. They were assholes because I was an asshole. Then...I fell in love with Nance, and she wanted...someone better. Someone decent.” The words started out hesitant, but soon began daisy-chaining together, one after the next, a magician’s scarf pulled from a sleeve. “And for a little while I thought, I could do it. I can be that for her. So I dumped my asshole friends. I gave up on being the cool guy, tried to be a decent guy instead. Tried to be the hero she needed. And now—”

He didn’t have to finish the story; they both knew how it turned out. Joyce simply looked at him, the cherry brightening as she took another drag.

Steve shrugged again, suddenly bashful. “I was just fooling myself, anyway. I’ve never been that type. I think—” His voice cracked a little, but Joyce pretended not to notice, for which Steve found himself decidedly grateful. “Honestly, I think she was right to dump me.”

The words sat between them, heavy pebbles polished to a high sheen by their constant tumbling in Steve’s mind.

After a moment, Joyce reached into her pocket and handed over the pack of cigarettes.

“Do you want to be a hero?”

Behind the mall, standing just upwind of the dumpsters and sweating in the humid June afternoon, Steve doesn’t feel like a hero.

He feels…ordinary. An ordinary wage slave, working an ordinary gig in a mall that, despite what the ads on TV would have you believe, is about as ordinary as you can get. Dozens of them, all across Middle America.

He finds the thought—the anonymity—oddly comforting.

Which doesn’t make the job itself suck any less. He lingers for a moment, working up the courage to cross the parking lot in his ridiculous sailor uniform. There’s just enough wind to ruffle through his hair, dry the sweat that somehow always accumulates there despite the mall’s air-conditioning. Taking the trash out is possibly the least glamorous part of an unglamorous job, but Steve appreciates precisely one thing about it—it means his shift is over, which means he can finally ditch the stupid fucking hat.

He takes a couple of breaths, savoring the warm soupy air after hours spent in refrigerated, fluorescent-lit hell. He fingers the pack of cigarettes in his pocket, debating whether to light one. He knows Dustin would get on his back about it—haven’t you seen the news? Those things will give you cancer, Steven!—but he’d like to see Dustin do this job without something to help him keep his cool—

“Boy, we’ve talked about this. You know good and well what happens when you mouth off in front of your sister like that. You want her to learn your disrespectful habits?”

The words only half-register in Steve’s distracted state, the anger in them leaving more of an impression than the actual meaning. It’s the response that catches his ear—he knows that obstinate baritone. “Are we talking about the same Maxine? She doesn’t need my help to be smart. She just keeps it bottled up around you and Susan.”

That voice doesn’t sound like Steve’s ever heard it. It’s…whiny, almost. Petulant, with an undercurrent of something he can’t quite place, something that’s wrong in it the way demodogs were wrong in the junkyard. Something that doesn’t fit.

“Then perhaps you should learn from her example.” The voices are coming from round the corner, where (Steve knows, because it’s an excellent spot for a smoke break) two protrusions along the mall’s side make a convenient alcove.

Steve knows he shouldn’t be eavesdropping, but he tiptoes a little closer anyway, careful to keep out of sight.

“Sure, if you want me to act like a little bitch, I’ll start studying right the hell up—”

Punches, Steve has had reason to discover, sound nothing at all like they do in the movies. The noise is somewhere between a slap and a thud—the tangible thwack of skin hitting skin, the darker, more visceral thump of the bones beneath colliding with barely a thin cushion of meat between them. Steve’s gut clenches, and without realizing he’d made the decision, he finds himself rounding the corner. ”Hey! What’re you—“

He hasn’t seen Billy Hargrove since graduation—since before then, really; Hargrove hadn’t bothered to show up to the ceremony, and Steve, who had endured what felt like hours of smiling and shaking his father’s friends’ hands, had found himself a little envious. Now he stands against the wall, posture defiant despite the fingers gathered in the collar of his t-shirt. His eyes meet Steve’s, widen, something of that same wrongness in them. “Harrington?” he says, his voice rough as if the word had been dragged out via fishhook—then his gaze drops, perhaps in preparation for the fist that’s pulled back, ready to strike again.

Steve follows that fist along its arm back to its owner. He doesn’t recognize the man, and there’s not much resemblance—broader build, haircut that might’ve once been military, square jaw. But the sudden hollow sensation in Steve’s stomach, as the man’s intense blue-eyed gaze turns on him, is horribly familiar.

This has to be Billy’s father.

It’s not his business. This is clearly a family affair. It’s not on him to interrupt. He should turn around and pretend he didn’t see anything. It’s not his place. He shouldn’t get involved. People will be angry at him if he tries to step in. He’s wearing a fucking sailor suit, for god’s sake—

Billy’s lip is bleeding.

And Billy’s father—is smiling.

The smile has an edge to it, a glitter like the fresh-cut edge of rusted rebar. It reminds Steve of his own joyless grin, captured in that stupid commercial for everyone in Hawkins to see in between reruns of M*A*S*H—and Steve’s hit with a terrible sense of deja vu, waits for the man to throw his head back. Hears Billy’s wild laughter in his head. I’ve been waiting to meet this King Steve everyone’s been talking about—

But he doesn’t laugh, only lets go of Billy’s collar, turns. Straightens. “Ahh. You must be the Harrington boy.” He takes a step towards Steve. “I’ve heard a bit about you. Seems you got a couple good hits in on Billy here last fall before he laid you out.”

Despite the casual tone, despite the sweltering heat, Steve can feel the words trickle down his spine, icy trails left as they pool cold in his gut. He wants to bluster, he wants to cower, he wants to run; he can’t move, doesn’t even know how his voice will sound when he opens his mouth. “I’m sorry—”

The man waves a hand, the same hand that had been pulled back in a fist just moments ago. “No, no. No need to be sorry. Boys will be boys, and my son—” here he glances back at Billy, who’s staring resolutely at the asphalt—“has an attitude problem.” He runs a hand through his hair, adjusts his collar. “In any case, I should be getting back to the family. I’ll let the two of you work things out.” A hand comes down on Steve’s shoulder, somehow far heavier than it should be. “And Billy?”

Steve doesn’t miss the way Billy flinches when the man says his name. “Yes?”

“Don’t be too long. I expect to see you in an hour for the movie.”

They stand for a moment after the man leaves, minutes or hours or days. The hair on the back of Steve’s neck eventually lays back down. Billy still refuses to meet Steve’s eyes.

Finally, Billy speaks. “Go on then.” He doesn’t look up. His voice sounds more normal, just…tired. Defeated. “You heard him. Take a swing.”

Steve blinks. And, for a moment…

…but that, as Dustin would say, is the Dark Side talking. And didn’t the green guy with the big ears have something to say about that? Forever will it dominate your destiny…

“I’m sorry,” he says instead.

Billy finally looks up again, and as those blue eyes meet his, all thoughts of Star Wars are immediately gone from Steve’s head. If there’s one thing Billy shares with his father, it’s that ability to project danger.

“Don’t be sorry,” Billy spits. “Just punch me and get it over with. We both know you want to.”

“And have you lay me out again?” Steve scoffs. “Thanks, but no thanks.”

“I won’t.” Billy lifts his chin a little. “I can take my licks. I’m not a pussy.”

And Steve…is tempted. Curls his fingers into a fist as he imagines the deeply satisfying slap-thud of landing a punch on Billy’s jaw. Payback for days spent with a swollen face, weeks of watching his supposed friends drift away, months of frustration at the constant snubs and taunts and put-downs.

It’d be a good thing, in the end, says a voice in Steve’s head. A preemptive strike. Show the enemy your strength, deter them from attacking in the future and causing greater damage. Heroic, even—

Do you want to be a hero?

Steve takes a breath. Uncurls his fingers.

“It’s not right,” he says. “Doesn’t matter if it’s him or me. You don’t deserve that shit.”

Billy’s eyes flash at that, and he pushes off from the wall. Gets up in Steve’s face. “Don’t tell me what I fucking deserve, Harrington. You don’t know shit about me.” He jabs a finger in Steve’s chest. “You don’t know what I’m like. What I’m capable of. Don’t you ever fucking pity me—”

Steve holds up his hands, steps back. Is about to turn on his heel. Serves him right for trying to be a decent human being to this asshole—

Billy’s hand is shaking.

He glances at Billy again. Really looks him in the face. In his eyes. And something there causes a fluttering hollow, deep in his stomach. An alien feeling.

Carefully, exaggeratedly, he looks down, then up. “Do I look like I’m in a position to pity anyone?”

He watches as Billy’s gaze rakes over his outfit. Watches his expression turn from angry, to vulnerable, to confounded. “...the fuck are you wearing?”

Slowly, Steve reaches into his pocket. Pulls out the cigarettes.

“Tell you what,” he says, keeping his voice casual. Taps out a cigarette, holds it out to Billy, a peace offering in a white cylinder. “I’ll tell you if you tell me what your father was so pissed about.”

“Like he needs a fuckin’ reason,” Billy mutters, but he takes the cigarette between his lips, reaches into his own pocket for a lighter. “I’m disrespectful, is all. A bad seed. Anyone can tell.” Flicks it, once, twice, but his hands are shaking too hard to get a proper catch on the wick.

“Here, let me,” Steve says on instinct, reaches up to help.

He only means to take the lighter from Billy, but his fingers brush Billy’s hand, and he nearly jumps at the sensation. Skin on skin, tingling, almost electric.

Billy goes still. Steve flicks his eyes back up to Billy’s face, half afraid he’s having some kind of fit, but he’s breathing—rapid and shallow, blue eyes fixed on the lighter, on the place where their hands touch. Those eyes raise to meet his—not quite a question.

Not quite a denial, either.

Delicately, Steve wraps his hands around Billy’s. He flicks the wheel on the lighter, holds Billy’s hand steady as he guides it to the cigarette. The space between them is so quiet, Steve can hear the paper shrivel beneath the heat.

Belatedly, Billy sucks in air, lights the cig properly. Steve snaps the lighter shut, withdraws his hands. Waits for the awkward moment to pass, for Billy to step away.

He doesn’t. Billy pockets the lighter. Looks up at Steve again. And there’s something…not wrong in this eyes, this time, but different. Clearer, like a window that’s been cleaned of grime.

“It was Max.” The words are mumbled around the cigarette, barely more than a bitter whisper. He takes a drag, turns his head to the side to blow it out. “Little bitch was pocketing a lipstick. Neil was already in a mood, was about to round the corner and see her. So I—I said some shit.” He shrugs, looks down at the bloodstained cigarette between his fingers. “I don’t remember what. Doesn’t really matter. It got his attention.”

Steve feels something sour turn over in his gut. “Does he hit her too?”

A flare in Billy’s eyes, the usual defiance reappearing; for a moment Steve is convinced he’s gone too far. Steels himself for more venomous words, maybe for a punch.

Then Billy’s eyes brighten again, and—a tear slides down his cheek.

“Not yet.�� A trembling hand to his lips, another drag on the cigarette. “Not ever, so long as I’m around.”

Their gaze has gotten a little too intimate. Steve sucks in a breath, moves to the side, takes a few steps over to the wall. Leans with his back against it, pulls out a cigarette for himself. Billy joins him, and they smoke together for a moment, in silence.

Steve’s emotions are a jumble. Surprise, that Billy would care so much. Anger, that this would be the choice that defines anyone’s life. Fear, for Billy and for Max. And something else, something he can’t quite define, but that fills his chest with sweet-scented air.

Awe, maybe.

“Some people would call that heroic,” he finally says.

Billy gives a sort of half-smile, though it’s more bitter than sad. “Yeah, well. We’re family. We’re all we’ve got.”

Steve shakes his head. “Not true.” He bumps his shoulder, lightly, against Billy’s. “You’ve got me too.” He laughs, then, just as bitter. “For what that’s worth. No college. No apartment. Three bucks an hour scooping ice cream. No future.” He makes a sad little jazz-hands motion. “Ta daaa. King Steve, at your service.”

Billy turns, takes a moment to savor the sight of Steve in his uniform. “Could be worse,” he says.

“Oh? How, exactly, could it be worse?”

A little of the old cockiness comes back into his stance, as he shoots Steve a wink. “You look fuckin’ adorable in that suit.”

“Do you want to be a hero?”

Steve had smoked his cigarette halfway down by the time he answered. “Doesn’t everyone? Fight evil? Save the day? Get the girl? All the movie stuff?”

It was Joyce’s turn to shrug as she tapped her butt out in the ashtray. “I guess it depends on what you mean by ‘hero’. Some people want all of that. Some people prefer things…quieter. They want to have friends, and a life, and maybe someone to love. But put those people in danger, put the people they love in danger…and they’ll do anything to save them. Face down a monster. Spread a rumor. Take a beating from a bully.” She pauses, looks at his face meaningfully. “Does that make them less heroic?”

Steve hadn’t known that blushing could hurt. “I dunno. Maybe those people could’ve done more. Maybe…what they did wasn’t enough, in the end.”

To his surprise, Joyce sat back in her chair, thought it over. “Maybe they’re not heroes, then.” She nodded, as if she’d come to some conclusion, and smiled at Steve. “Maybe they’re just decent people.”

“There is only one heroism in the world: to see the world as it is, and to love it.” --Romain Rolland

help me raise money to fight MS!

#my writing #harringrove #writing prompts #bike ms #stranger things #ihni #commissions #for a good cause

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celawrites · 4 years

Text

Day 37

It’s 12am and my phone is buzzing and I cannot sleep. What the fuck is going on.

You have 20 new notifications

I click open our class chat first, and to my surprise, it’s all birthday messages.

Clown: Did you guys actually have to type me a whole essay? Thank you tho <3

Pebble: A well written essay!

Sam: Time well spent

My phone vibrates and I’m invited to a call from a handful of friends.

Joining Your Neighborhood Pizza delivery service’s call…

“It’s 12am let me sleep”

“Are you not happy that we’re wishing you happy birthday at 12am?”

“I am, it’s just I’m also exhausted for no reason”

“You’re going out for a McDonalds run right?”

“Yeah. You guys woke me up halfway through”

“Sorry”

“I’m sorry it’s 12am and I really wanna know who’s in this call right now”

“Ah! It would be Estelle, Beanie, Min, “

“Your son”

“Mint”

“Sun”

“What the fuck are you guys doing awake?”

“Admiring the stars”

“Sure. Totally believe you”

“Cressie it’s your birthday.”

“One year closer to my demise I guess”

“You’re insane”

“So I’ve been told”

“Ah. Check your mailbox in the morning! There should be a couple things in there”

I yawn. 6 hours of sleep isn’t enough to run on.

“Alright get to bed. Sleep your last 3 hours and I’ll be waiting for you at 3am”

“Mint you’re the most punctual out of all of us why are you picking me up?”

“I’ve never had a McDonalds run with you. Besides, It’s Friday.”

“Alright I’m sleeping now good night”

“Good night birthday girl!”

“That’s so cheesy ksjdfalfa”

Sure enough, at 3am, I wake up and find Mint outside my door, vibing in his car. I shake my head and lock the door.

“Good morning Mint”

“Morning”

“You’re mean you know that?”

“Happy birthday Mint”

“Right back at you”

“HEY REMEMBER WHEN YOU JUST STRAIGHT UP LEFT ME ON READ WHEN I WISHED YOU HAPPY BIRTHDAY-”

“I THOUGHT WE WERE OVER THAT ALREAY”

“My salty ass could never”

“Alright what do you want for your birthday?”

“Neither of us give anything-”

“Our Asian ass could never”

“HOnestly”

“Ah. I do have a present for you though”

My hand reaches into my backpack and I pull out a scrapbook.

“In true Crescent fashion, I present to you our scrapbook”

“What?”

“A collection of all the photos we have together with little commentary along the way. This is now yours” I beam.

“You’re joking”

“Nope”

“I didn’t even get you anything like his I-”

“You don’t need to”

He snickers and hands me a small box.

“I found it while shopping online, and it reminded me of that one time A gave you a rainbow rose so I figured I would give you an eternal one”

I stare at the rose. It’s rainbow, and I was surprised he even remembered that his brother had given me one. I tear up slightly, maybe its because I wasn’t used to getting gifts from him, or the sudden change of heart but I mean-

“I’m crying”

“You’re always crying”

“SHUT UP KDFSKFSHDJF”

My hands clink at the glass softly, and Mint hums in appreciation as he flips through the scrapbook.

“Where’s this photo from?”

“Hm?” He points at a photo where both he and his brother are jumping on the trampoline while I’m sitting.

“Your mom sent it to my mom a few years back”

“Ah”

There’s a comfortable silence that passes over us, and I decide to answer all the texts that I had received about my birthday while he flipped through the book.

After about a dozen thank you!’s and 4 conversations, I finish. Mint snickers when he flips to the last page.

“You just had to put that one last huh?”

On the last page lies Mint and I at Junior prom last year. It was a tradition to go with eachother, and my friend had taken a photo where we were pretending to make out.

”Why? Don’t want your future wife seeing it?”

“No. It’s just you saved the best for last” he snorts.

“Of course” I hum.

“Alright what do you want from McDonalds?”

“Ice cream”

“You’re literally bleeding this week no”

“Uhhh. Fries?”

“Sure”

Mint starts his car and we head off. The sky is a calm blue. A dark shade that leaves you wondering if there’s more out there. It was ironic that I had met him so long ago. It was even more surprising when he moved here for junior and senior year. I was horribly confused, and the only explanation he could muster out was a job change for his parents. But I was pretty sure they just wanted to have A mature in a different environment.

“Lost in thought again?”

“Mhm. You never told me how and why you moved here in detail”

“Nothing really. It was a job change on my parents part, and a new path for A”

“What about you?”

“I wanted to chase the only person who never gave up on me”

“You’re disgusting”

“Better than confessing to my crush every day for a whole year”

“LEAVE ME ALONE”

“You’re the one who brought up how I chased you all the way to California”

“I still wonder how you can pin after someone like me”

“At some point I realized you saw me as a brother”

“I wish I could do that.”

“You’re a hopeless romantic. Have some fun every once in a while”

“Are you implying I should have a one night stand?”

“Once you’re a legal adult sure”

“Bad decision making except it’s Mint giving me bad advice as a joke”

“I hate you”

“Love you too~”

“You’re disgusting”

“Bleh”

HE pulls up at the McDonalds drive-through and I scream.

“dEAR ARE YOU ALIVE?”

“OMG HAPPY BIRTHDAY DARLING! EVERYTHING’S ON ME TODAY”

“WTF DEAR NO”

“NO OBJECTIONS. IS MINT WITH YOU?”

“I’m here”

“Happy birthday Mint darling anyways what do you guys want?”

“The usual”

“Nothing new?”

“Nope”

“Alright! See you at the second window!”

“Cressie darling I got you a gift!”

“I- what?”

“Gift.” He tosses something through the car window and it lands in my hands.

“What is it?”

“Check”

I click open the box and I find a small pendant with a moon.

“I thought you were a broke high school student?”

“But the boss gave me a raise and told me to get something nice for my lover and like I don’t have one so I mean-”

“I don’t deserve you” I sniff.

“Stop crying darling you’re scaring me”

I really hope you find yourself a lover this year or I will fight everyone around me I SWEAR”

“You’re being too loud again Cress”

“Sorry”

He hands us our food and waves us goodbye. It was funny to me. I had so many friends around me now that I had grown.

“Are you gonna make a birthday post?”

“Oh for Serenity!” I gasp.

I type away and Mint steals a couple fries from me. I hiss at him while typing.

“Too bad” he shrugs.

School rolls around and I ‘m met with 20 happy birthdays and a couple gifts fro my other friends. Surprise surprise I have other friends. Z and Sun’s gift surprises me the most.

“Cress” Sun calls for me after school.

“Hm?”

“Happy birthday” He hands a medium-sized box to me.

“You always make us scrapbooks for our birthdays so I thought I’d try to make one for you”

“Have I ever told you how much I love you-”

“You remind me pretty often but yeah”

I open the box and a seat little scrapbook sits inside. There’s a white pen, a silver one, and a gold pen rolling around next to it, and there’s a small letter. Z tackles me from behind and I crash into Sun’s chest.

“Z what the f-”

“Language” Sun glares.

“Your gift!” Z hands me a small photo sized box.

“Photos?”

“You made a whole batch with notes on the back for me so I decided to print a bunch for you!”

“Thank you Z” I sniff slightly.

“What’s wrong! Do you not like it?”

“No no! I’m emotional haha” I muster up a smile. My cursed birthday luck was gonna catch up with me soon. I just felt it.

“No worries! It was the least I could do” Z smiles.

I nod in response. The rest of the day carries out like normal, and I find myself tired by the end of the day. My classmates threw me a party, and at the end of the day, my friends threw me another one. I enjoyed it, but I was waiting for my cursed birthday luck to catch up to me, I could never be happy until it occurred.

“If you’re thinking about that birthday curse of yours again, I’d advise you to know that with me, there’s no chance of having bad birthday luck” Mint hums. His birthdays had no bad things. It was like the universe favored him.

“I know. But I can’t truly calm down until I get to bed”

There’s a comfortable silence that settles down before Mint speaks up again.

“I’m sorry”

“Why so?”

“You had always wished me happy birthday so consistently, and I never replied and I just feel really bad and all-”

“Don’t worry about it.” I tap at the red solo cup in my hand. “I probably deserved all that”

“You don’t and that’s why I kind of. Um”

“Mint you’re my editor what did you do-”

“Bought tickets back home?” I gape at him. My jaw is dropped, and he seems to panic. “My home’s open and all! I know your house is rented out and the renters for my place just moved out and we have thanksgiving in a month so I figured I would take you back for the break and I’m sorry! I probably should’ve asked first and all but-”

A choked sob escapes my lips. I’m shocked, I hadn’t gone home in so long. How did he know? A stream of incoherent words escapes my lips and Mint tries to soothe me.

“You know.” I managed to force it out. “Some days I question why I stopped crushing on you. You spoil me rotten, and I don’t even deserve someone who cares for me and knows me like you and you always seem to know how I’m feeling and-”

Mint rubs soft circles on my back, and I let out my emotions. My birthday curse wasn’t a curse. It was a tradition. A tradition to cry at least once on my birthday, and for the first time, I was crying tears of joy. A couple minutes pass, and I feel my emotions slowly draw back.

“Thank you” I mumbled weakly.

Serenity made a new post!

It’s my birthday! Thank you to all of you who sent in birthday wishes (and death threats)! Another year has passed and I truly wish that I could thank you all face to face for the support!

Once again, my lovely editor Leaf shares a birthday with me so go ahead and send in some birthday wishes to him as well. For today’s gift from me, you all get a blast of joy! Much love!

-Serenity

Previous : Masterlist : Next

#writing #people crying inadfs #first person #birthdays #fiction #365 days #365 days of writing #365 days of rejection #though not much rejection anymore #project #quarantine project #me being emotionally unstable again

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darrowsrising · 5 years

Text

Dark Age final thoughts, by yours truly! Spoilers ahead, blacklist the tag.

One thing you learn about talking about books on the internet is that if you can't take criticism of your own criticism - someone disagrees with a critique of yours - you should check your panties for uncomfortable bunches.

You can state your opinions without getting offended if someone disagrees with them (of course they should do that in a respectful manner). If you didn't want anyone discussing what you say, then pardon me, I had this ridiculous thought that we can have a conversation around our separate opinions.

I never aim to change one's opinion. I only want to present things how I see them. Because I always agree to disagree, as books are subjective. Our interpretation of them even more so.

Please, fellow Howlers, take this post of mine and if you disagree with what I say here, tell me so and add your own thoughts.

I don't have rose-coloured glasses when it comes to Red Rising, despite the what I look like. I do have rose eyes when it comes to Darrow and I ain't sorry. But it's always the good parts that interest me more than its bad parts. That's why I don't talk about them much. Why wouldn't I do that? I am here for a great time, not for Pixie time.

Now, to delve as I should in this abyss of my mind, here are my final Dark Age thoughts:

I love this book and I'd give it 5/5.

There were some plot points that kinda felt wierd to me. Like the fact that Atlas and Atalantia have way more claws embedded into the Republic than I thought possible. Some things are too much like the Obsidian Gorgon.

Yet, 99.99% procent of it was amazing.

I loved Mustang's pov the most, it delievered exactly what I wanted and more.

Darrow is on equal footing, even if his plot was heart-breaking.

Lyria was gorgeous and I loved her plot the mostn to be honest. It had everything.

Ephraim found his guts and stopped wallowing and it was glorious! I was wary of his redemption, but in the end, it was indeed glorious. Tragic, but he was built that way. I never expected otherwise.

Lysander was hard to endure. Very hard. There is no redemption for him. Too many of such arcs can be annoying, although Pierce Brown always deliever.

I knew Cassius wouldn't die like that. When he looked at Lysander, I had the same feeling as when Sevro called Lilath an 'untidy abortion'. Which was glorious. Of course, he wouldn't even think that, but he surely has some regrets that he let Lysander become this.

Pax and Electra are amazing and sweet. And feral. I am so happy that we got more of them. They are exactly what I love part mother, part father, 100% their own bloodydamn selves.

Victra was a goddess and I love her so very much. The writing is so amazing when it comes to Victra. I felt how genuine she is and how out there. It was beautiful to read. So beaitiful.

Lyria, Volga and Victra are amazing and it was amazing to read of them. Now I want more.

The girl action in this book was exactly what I needed.

Also loved Virginia with Holiday and Theodora.

I am devastated still from the death of some of my faves and my new faves.

Ephraim was always annoying to me, but after Pax and the Obsidians kick sense into him, I do come to appreciate his style. Thank Reaper he stopped with those us vs. them, I disliked those the most.

Volga is the most precious feral baby ever and if something happens to her, I don't care, we riot.

Luckly, Adrius 2 doesn't know how to erase memories yet. So here's hoping Cassius, Darrow, Screwface and Thraxa rescue them on their way to Mars.

Atlas au Raa is really overpowered imo. I dislike his comparation with Vlad the Impaler, it is ill-fitting.

Diomedes is on Earth. The Minotar is joining the fray.

Lysander got the Minotar to protect himself against Atalantia&co. And to help him bring them down, I suppose. But Apollonius is a lot like Tactus. Darrow is just worth following. I'd rather have Apollonius fight with Darrow than Lysander getting something else than life in Deepgrave (or something similar). He might want to be the Apex Predator and steal Darrow's thunder, but Darrow is the only one who beat him multiple times. Apple is unpredictable. I wouldn't count on him fighting for Lysander for long, he is no lap dog.

Holiday should kill Flavinius, that would be a sight to see.

Ragnar's father or not, that Gorgon is going down.

Lyria's parasite is interesting, but I'm dying to know what the fuck it is. Pax, you're as sly as your father and intelligent as your mother, but damn if my waiting like 2 years to find out about Figment doesn't frustrate me.

Atalantia and Lilath should die terribly.

Daxo, Sefi, Alexandar, Ephraim and Ulysses' deaths were the hardest on me. I can't re-read this book.

The violence I didn't mind in the least, I am used to it, I read A Song of Ice and Fire and Broken Empire and I'm used to it. Even if it happens to characters you like and thus dousing the flame of hope in you, I don't find it unnecessary. The Red girls destroying the Red Hand, the Reds gathering to fight, Lyria causing all of that - beautiful. Even Sefi's death - the Obsidians were feared even in Morning Star that they would rampage everything. They indeed were held back only by Sefi. So her brutal death was what ignited the wildfire. A swift death would have left the Obsidians feel sorry for their queen.

Virginia being vulnerable in front of Victra and full of scars, more than even on Victra's body, was beutiful. I just want Darrow to kiss every one of them 😭 I am happy that these two are how they are. They're coming together was beautiful.

Atalantia and Atlas are 100% for taking the Rim. Lysander hasn't find out about the real Ascomanni. That might be what bites him on ythe arse at the end. Still, there is the risk that he suffers from poison, but, as Rising data shows, he poisons himself a bit at the time to withstand poison.

Kalindora believing in Lysander makes me pity her. Lysander thinks of what people do to pay back their horrible deeds and says that it is what Kalindora, Cassius and Darrow did. I pity him too...Cassius' mercy wasn't about ganing back honor.

Lysander's mum issues are almost as disgusting as the incestuous pedophile he will have to marry.

Ajax wasn't much of a threat, more like a foot soldier, because he is no man, but a little insecure boy that let's himself be a victim and a puppy. He is no Aja or Atlas. He is a little puppet with some great razor wielding skills.

I understand how Adrius' plans deceived Virginia. We are shown exactly how he is the smarter of the twins. But Virginia pulled through and I love her arcs.

I knew the Vox was corrupted and Dancer would be a puppet. Too bad he is also a victim. He didn't deserve that.

Virginia cried before the Day of the Red Doves and after she woke up on Dejah Thoris. I cried with her.

I love Mars, I love that planet so much. I love its people. Even the Minotaur is Martian. And I love Virginia's Iron Circle and the way every martian gathered to see Pride Two and the Sovereign. I love the slingBlade made of blazes in Cimmeria. I love how Mars received the Sovereign. They love her for her, not because she is Darrow's ally or wife. They love their Sovereign.

Lyria and Volga are totally it for each other.

The writing was so beautiful, I love it very much. Well, that's an understatement, but words elude me right now.

I feel that Pierce built the clonning thing well enough that the clone of the Jackal is a twist, but not impossible, so I liled that.

The Minotaur would kill Glirastes and he should.

Rhonna broke my heart.

Valdir is surely out there gathering the remains and I totally believe he would go with either Darrow or Virginia, or Volga. He'd want to deliever the heart of that Gorgon personally to Tyr Morga.

I'm afraid for Sevro, Pebble and Clown, but here's hoping, because that's all we can do.

Aurea might be Evey and I'm all for it. Someone needs to drag Diomedes from the shiteshow.

Finally, in the immortal words of Pierce Elliot Brown on HowlerPodn episode 31:

Dark Age is the best book in the series and if you don't like it, that's fine. Fuck you!

#iron gold trilogy #astrea reads dark age #dark age spoilers #dark age

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certifiedskywalker · 5 years

Text

Stay Safe - Peter Parker

They’ve fought through the game and Peter needs you.

AVENGERS ENDGAME SPOILERS

This is me giving myself some well-deserved fanservice. I hope you all find peace in this too. (It can be read as platonic or romantic, I just wanted to give him a hug)

In movies, scenes of mourning are often depicted with rain, umbrellas, and grey skies. Processions of people decorated in shades of black with bitter frowns on their faces as they say a final farewell to their loved one. Tony Stark’s funeral was no different, except for the bright blues skies that hung above his lakeside home. The sun illuminated the sparkling waves as his memorial Arc Reactor floated along. Rays of light caught in the tears trailing down his friends and families cheeks as a horribly heavy silence fell over them all.

Despite having not known Tony personally, you felt that he would have appreciated the sunshine. The way Peter described him told you that Tony was not one for gloomy skies and rainy days. It seemed enough that there were clouds in the hearts of those he had left behind. Peter Parker included in that hefty sum of people Iron Man had known in one way or another.

You turned your eyes away from the small bundle of follows that swayed along the water’s surface to gaze at Peter. His jaw was tight, clenched, and his brown eyes never left the lake. Aunt May was looking at him too, worry written clear across her face. You met her gaze and found your own concern mirrored there. She gave you a hopeful half smile before squeezing Peter’s shoulder. He didn’t move at the touch.

He didn’t move as other began to march towards the Stark’s home or back to their vehicles. Peter stood stoically still even as Pepper lead little Morgan Stark inside for lunch. You step closer to Peter’s side, hoping that your proximity will pull him back to Earth but your hopes fall short. Aunt May makes an attempt too, squeezing his shoulder again.

“Peter, honey,” she cooes gently, “let’s go inside.” Peter still does not budge as his Aunt speaks. His eyes remain on the lake, glassy as the water’s surface. Your gaze turns from the boy before you to Happy who is making his way towards the three of you. Offering you a small smile, he rests a hand on May’s shoulder.

“Give him some time,” he says softly and you remember how he is grieving too. “He’ll come back when he’s ready.” May tears her eyes from Happy and back to Peter’s cold expression. You met her gaze and, trying to find what’s left of your voice, speak up.

“I’ll stay with him, May. You can go inside.” The woman nods gratefully before pressing a delicate kiss to her nephew’s cheek. Peter still does not shift at the action. You watch as May and Happy head inside before turning back to Peter.

You allow the quiet to fall over the two of you again. The only sounds around you are the lake’s little waves lapping at the pebble shoreline and a few birds, back from the dust, chirping away in the trees above your heads. It’s serene, more peaceful than any place you had ever seen in the city. Despite the circumstances, you feel at ease and you realize that’s probably what drew Tony to this place at the beginning of the end.

“It’s beautiful here,” you whisper, knowing full well that Peter won’t respond. His eyes are still trained on the spot where the floating Arc Reactor had been moments before he lost sight of it. “I know I didn’t know him like you did but, I think he would have liked you to be up here too. You could swing from the trees, test out new suits. He built this place his home with you in mind.”

Peter is still quiet, but you continue nonetheless. “Pepper was telling May and I that when Morgan was born, Tony was freaked out. He didn’t want to let her down in the same way he felt he had let you down. So he moved them up here where they could be safe and happy. He wants you to be safe and happy, Peter.”

“Then why is he gone?” The question falls from his lips so fast you almost miss it. Peter’s voice is hoarse but soft-toned like a curious child. His head finally turns and you meet his brown eyes only to find fresh tears streaming down his cheeks.

“You know why,” you reply, reaching hands up to wipe the tears from his face. Peter leans into your touch, eyes closing in shame because you’re right. He does know and he hates it. He hates Thanos. He hates the infinity stones. He tries to hate Tony but he’s not even strong enough to say his name aloud yet. So, he hates himself instead.

“I could’ve done something,” he whimpers, eyes still closed. You rub your thumbs along his cheeks to soothe him, but it seems to be fruitless. “He’s gone, Y/N.”

“I know,” you whisper, feeling tears beginning to well in your own eyes. “And it sucks, but there was nothing you could have done, Peter. He wanted everyone to be safe, he wanted his family safe. He wanted you safe and nothing could have stopped him from making sure that you were.” Peter’s eyes open at that, red-rimmed and tired.

“What am I supposed to do with...without…” Peter doesn’t finish his sentence and he doesn’t have to in order for you to understand. You fight back your own tears and throw your arms around Peter’s neck to pull him into the tightest hug you can muster. The moment his arms wrapped around your waist, Peter begins to cry again. His shoulder shake and you try your best to him together because you fear the moment you let him go he’ll dust away again.

“You make sure people stay safe,” you say, loud enough for Peter to hear over his pounding head. He’s had a never-ending headache since that wretched day because he hasn’t been able to stop crying. Since you had been staying with him and May on the couch, because you need to know that he’s still around now, no longer gone, you’d be woken up by his sobs.

Those nights you’d sneak into his room and hold him just as you were now. In the mornings, Peter would be deathly silent. You were certain you had heard a mere ten or so words from him since he had come back into your life. Ten words was, and would never be, enough. It would take time, you knew that much, but Peter would be himself again, just like Tony would have wanted him to be.

“You can do that,” you whisper, once Peter’s sobs fell quiet, “you’re good at keeping people safe. Keeping people happy. That’s all he would want you to do.”

“Y/N, what if I can’t?” He doesn’t pull away from your embrace, his head pressed into the crook of your neck and shoulder. Your skin is damp with his tears and your heart aches for him.

“You can,” you assure, “you always do. Even if you don’t feel like you can you have so many people that will help you. That’s what being an Avenger is right? Helping people?” You pulled away from him just enough to look into his eyes. Once more, you find yourself wiping his tears away and offering him a soft smile.

“Y-Yeah,” he replies, his lips upturning just enough to secure your hope. You lean up and kiss his cheek, running your fingers through his light brown curls when you pull away from him. He closes his eyes at your fingers carding through his hair and you can’t help but reflect on the movie nights, before he was even Spiderman, when you would play with his hair. He was still your Peter, no matter how much he lost. You would make sure he would never lose you.

“Then why don’t we go help with lunch, okay?” Your suggestion coaxes a murmur of agreement from Peter and you begin to lead him up the steps of the Stark’s home. Peter’s hand reaches for yours at you walked through the door and he intertwined your fingers with his own. His hands are warm and you’re grateful for the touch.

The scene that greets you inside the kitchen is so domestic and sweet, you almost forget your surrounding circumstances. May and Happy are busy constructing cheeseburgers while Morgan and Pepper sit at the table. Morgan’s face is a mess with ketchup and bits of burger bun around her mouth, the sight bringing a smile to your face.You glance at Peter and see he is smiling too, despite his teary eyes. Pepper looks up at the two of you and gestures to the empty seats beside her.

“Come, sit. Morgan could do with some more entertaining company.” Despite her recent loss, Pepper is graceful and her words hint at humor Tony once possessed. You thank her and Peter take the seat beside her and across from Morgan. You settle in the empty seat beside Peter and smile at the little girl.

“Say ‘hi’, Morgan,” Pepper says, dabbing a napkin at her daughter’s mouth. The little girl’s eyes flit over you and land on Peter almost immediately.

“Hi,” she says softly, waving her hand at Peter. You look up at the boy beside you and see his teeth showing between his lips.

“Hi, Morgan,” he says, waving too, “I’m Peter.”

“Spiderboy?” Your breath catches in your throat just as Peter’s does. Pepper smiles and rests a hand on Peter’s shoulder.

“Tony told her about you, bedtime stories. She’s a big fan,” her words linger in your ears and you can almost hear Peter’s heart pounding in his chest. He lets out a little gasp, a mix of sadness and joy before turning to Morgan.

“Y-Yeah, I’m Spiderboy. Spiderman, actually,” he clarifies, still smiling. You lean forwards slightly, resting a hand on Peter’s knee under the table. He spares a glance at you, brown eyes full of a light you hadn’t seen in too long.

“Aren’t you a little tiny to be Spiderman?” Morgan asks, pulling Peter’s attention back to her. Her face is clean now, chubby cheeks slightly pink as she speaks. She has her father’s eyes and Peter sees what you meant by protecting those Tony left behind.

“I guess I am,” Peter teases, “but I’m not as tiny as you.”

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chickenscript · 6 years

Text

A/N: nyeh. and so it begins. i'm doing this in a series 'cause i've seen a few other people do it like that and well, i wanna experiment with new formats. sorry it took so long btw. i’ll be buckling down on the prompts that were sent in- enjoy!

- ho boy is there a lot of sass to go around when you two are together.

- you complain about things to each other that you wouldn't with other people. especially if it's about those other people.

- he really doesn't get emotions all that well- they weren't programmed into him right, so he's great at the language of sarcasm and composed comments. you honestly can't tell when he's not serious sometimes.

- it's great when something unpredictable to him happens though, then you get to watch how his brain starts running around in that big noggin of his, trying to figure out what the hell was happening.

- cold, hard science was his anchor, with the exception of metaphysics, so when stuff like that teleporting mutant they found pops up, he's bewildered and thrown off but crikey is he excited. ten times as much as when mikey gets new paint.

- it's pretty funny to you, but don get laughs out of you any time.

- he makes hella good blunt jokes and they always get you going because you share that same kind of dry humor.

- he doesn't really like touch so much and it took you a while to adjust to the preference since you're kind of a touchy person. (hence why you go to the other brothers when you're in a cuddly mood)

- he does sometimes seek out a hug, or want to just lean over your shoulder while you're doing something and pull you closer until your backed up into his chest. he also likes to gently talk when he gets like that, voice all low and pebbly.

- a big shift from his crackly, puberty one.

- he also corrects people a lot offhandedly. you got used to it though. just like you got used to how he gets very in the zone about stuff, and you notice when he does while you're talking and start saying weird shit to get him to focus again.

("And oh, by the way, turtle soup? I’m a big fan.”

"Mm hm- wait, what did you just say?" (well, maybe that’s more morbid than weird)

- when he isn't so impassive and really, genuinely smiles or laughs, you like to coo and prod at him.

- you make fun of each other, a lot actually. you're banter kings, and practically unstoppable when you fire pokes at his brothers. they are no match for you two.

- like mikey, you’re usually an extra hand during a project and he's taught you a ton in the realm of science and tech. it’s a good thing you soak up stuff like a sponge when it’s within your interest.

- like how to hot wire a car or just be able to know your wires and never cross them incorrectly. it took a hefty amount of trial and electricity burns to figure out your way around machine guts. and a couple fires. but he's never kicked you to the curb and called you unteachable.

- you're always welcome in his lab and to assist with experiments so long as he's taught you whatever it is you're trying to do thrice.

- it's great because you’re not as terrified of explosions - or maybe just shrapnel - as his brothers are, and you’re a good thinker so you make a great assistant (or co-mind. you’re still brainstorming better names)

- lots of hands/robo arm gestures. you actually get into the habit of doing them too and leo points it out with some light jabs about how you're starting to get stuck in that lab all day too.

- like April, you like to hitch a ride on him but not as much as Raph. then again, everybody feels the same about that to be honest.

- you tend to borrow his tools in case you have something you need to fix at home, but sometimes you over estimate yourself so you call your good ole handy man turtle and he either talks you through the repair, or jets over to help if it’s something you’re really unfamiliar with and unsure of. (you may or may not have nearly blown your fridge sky high)

- you guys are like grease monkeys when it comes to the turtle tank.

- don't get yourself started on the stealth cycles- you loves those puppies so much. (you’re a real motorhead and was always excited to drive something for the first time)

- don’s taught you a lot on the care of both the tank and cycles, but he won't let you drive a cycle without him on the back. and without you wearing an assortment of sports pads and a helmet he modified. (he’s actually designing smart armor for you if you ever get caught in a battle. april shot him down when he offered to make her some for no good reason in your opinion, like free smart armor bro. who’d say no to that?)

- humans aren't as sturdy as turtles.

- you could say the same for him and his soft shell when the all the battle buff is off.

- you really do appreciate his ways of showing he cares though. it's sweet and quietly tactful.

- oh, you guys are huge sugar junkies. he eats sweets and drinks high in sugar or caffeine stuff all the time when he's binging work or skipping sleep. if you can't get him to bed, then you'll compromise by joining in on the sugar rush so you'll be able to get him to there when he crashes.

- which takes forever, mind you. you're usually the first one to zonk out on the pile of bean bags you helped him gather and nest in a corner of the lab.

- but he joins you at some point. the geometric edges of his battle shell jolts you awake and lets you see that.

- you honestly do a lot of the self care don doesn't do for himself. you remind him to eat often when he's got a project going- you bring him his favorite sandwich from subways, a tall coffee, or mikey's cooking (which is usually heavy udon whenever he knows don is at work so he can get hearty meals).

- you really just make sure he’s alive, and kind of healthy. (”Oi, stay hydrated.” you toss Donnie a bottle of water that one of his shell’s spidery arms catch instantly. He mumbles something like a thanks, still much too busy to watch you set yourself up on the beanbags with your laptop)

- he properly thanks you in subtle ways, like the odd gift.

- victim example being a custom made roomba. (his names connor btw, and you adore him and how much he helps keep the apartment clean since you and your uncle are horrible at upkeep. even when you get strings of messages about him being stuck in precarious situations that aren't even)

- sometimes don knows he can say things that sound too harsh and he can't always tell when they've gone that far, so he makes sure you're not upset about it later by surprisingly asking outright if it’s really bothering him.

- he really is a softie under some layers, or at least he doesn't want to be on anyone's bad side. then again, you're not sure he cares all that much about the latter.

- you still act like dicks to each other sometimes, not that you’ll ever really mean anything.

- and if you do say something with some bite to it, you know how to grow some balls and apologize. (you do a lot of that when you’re one of the reasons he cracks. sometimes he even needs some tlc if he’s really messed up over whatever made him blow a gasket)

- after all, don liked to think he was the mature one out of the group.

- so you let him keep thinking that.

- you have indeed asked about his eyebrows. he just never acknowledges you once you bring them up.

- and he’s as melodramatic as leo sometimes, and god it annoys you when you’re not in the mood. so does having to kiss up to him when he’s moody.

- you don’t try so much anymore, but you do get him his favorite snacks when you’re feeling merciful.

- well, actually, you’re really just a doormat for the people you love. you couldn’t stay mad at any one of the turtles for an hour on average, or less. long lasting grudges toward friends just weren't in your nature.

- you understanding don and being able to sit through his little rambles about his newest creation or a theory, or anything else in that regard makes him so very happy.

- he’s gotten a cut to the chase comment way to many times before and you are amazing for listening. (a true talent that is, being an ace listener.)

- to you, he's just really interesting to listen to. and he doesn’t mind when you ramble either.

- but you do realize how odd it is that you know someone who’s motto is; the blast radius should be about here. but i’ve been wrong before, or, your other top favorite, it shouldn’t blow up. much.

- jeez, don is such a dweeb.

bonus:

"You're ambidextrous?"

Donnie blinks at you, "Yeah, what of it? All geniuses are."

You scoff and shake you're head, returning to your book, "You're getting more full of yourself by the day, nerd boy."

"Oh, why thank you for noticing~"

bonus bonus because the ideas won't stop:

- don wearing a leather jacket makes you feel questionable. like really tight in the throat questionable.

- so does the suave way he's wiggling his eyebrows when he catches you staring- nope. nevermind. your dork friend is back.

"Loser."

"Dick."

#rise of the teenage mutant turtles #rottmnt #tmnt donatello #headcannons #friendship #fiendship?#i mean #you guys could be mad scientists #i guess probably more like kronk and ezma tho #heh #pull the lever y/n!#gah!#not that one!#tmnt donnie #reader insert #x reader #rottmnt headcannons #my writing

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