#palmer ff7

[shinraholidayparty]

2023 Shinra Holiday Party Prompts

Shinra Holiday Party is an annual Final Fantasy VII event to celebrate the winter holidays with our favorite Shinra Personnel, be it Turks, SOLDIERs, or board members!  Here is this winter's prompt list.  Hopefully they inspire something fun!

✨ 🎁 ❄️ ✨ 💡 ✨ 🍪 🍷 ✨

Dec 15 || Day 1. Gift exchange, peaceful, decorate. Dec 16 || Day 2. Snowing in the tropics, freezing, moonlight. Dec 17 || Day 3. Snowed in, coming home, baking. Dec 18 || Day 4. Mistletoe, snowball, cider (or eggnog or mulled wine). Dec 19 || Day 5. Gloves, winter in Icicle, sparkling lights. Dec 20 || Day 6. Hogging the blankets, forgotten trinkets, traditions. Dec 21 || Day 7. Office party, solstice, confession.

✨ 🎁 ❄️ ✨ 💡 ✨ 🍪 🍷 ✨

Reminders: Any time frame is acceptable!  So, pre-canon, Ever Crisis, Before Crisis, Crisis Core, Original Game, Remake, Advent Children, Dirge of Cerberus, or post-canon fics are all welcome!

Prompts may be done in any order or combination.

Works must be tagged with the #2023shinraholidayparty tag (or @shinraholidayparty must be pinged) to be featured on the event blog.

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[little-black-dress-zack-fair]

Palmer: Any tips on how to make someone like me?

Reeve: Try to make them laugh all the time.

Palmer: Oh, wow! You actually help me for once, and it's even good advice!

Reeve: Yeah, the more they laugh, the more time they spend with their eyes closed, so it'd be easier.

[salternateunreality2]

Preggoroth: Nesting

---------

Sephiroth: How can I help you, Genesis?

Genesis: *plunks down in chair, kicks feet up on Seph's desk, starts talking about his day*

One-Winged Angel: *starts playing*

Genesis: *jumps* What the fuck?

Sephiroth: You disturbed the nest. Prepare for war.

The single innocent paperclip that started all this by being moved 3cm to the left: 📎

---------

Poor Cloud Strife. He and Zack have been identified by Seph's lizard brain as "BABIES".

Kidnapping, surprise cuddling, feeding, swaddling, and lots and lots of proud staring and purring.

My babies. My perfect, beautiful babies.

---------

ALL THE SOFT THINGS.

Sephiroth's inner child is being HEALED through this process. He has built nests EVERYWHERE, from his office to Lazard's office to his apartment to Angeal's kitchen to Cloud's barracks to Genesis' closet -- any space that Sephiroth has ever felt a little bit safe or a little bit comfortable has at minimum a very soft blanket.

Zack is HERE for it, and has bought him ALL THE PLUSHIES. Not content with the Shinra SOLDIER propaganda plushies, homeboy found an entire zoo's worth of (hopefully) stuffed animals and even hand-made a few extra.

One of the homemade ones is an octopus/squid/tarantula/chameleon monstrosity that is Sephiroth's second favorite, after his lizard.

Zack created the chimera after years of listening to Sephiroth's voice warm slightly when talking about how a tentacle could hug you really well, that many eyes in weird places would be great for recon, and how he felt like he could never be his whole, true self, like a chameleon.

----------

Shinra Official Baby Shower

Boring AF, with lots of stupid gifts, schmoozing, and ceremony.

Scarlet gifted him a bunch of mechanical mobiles, which Genesis "accidentally" firagad later.

President Shinra gifted a (for him) measly check and publicly announced that the children will be "Sons of the Company" and offered "medical" treatment for life and an apartment closer to said "medical" treatment, and "nannies". Fortunately, the Turks jiggled some wires and oops the broadcast was fucked. President Shinra was uninformed about who the father is, but those in the know laughed at him behind his back for the "Sons of the Company" thing.

Heidegger had his people prepare a gift basket, but Cloud got a hold of the order and makes it secretly great, with boring stuff on top. Lots of tasty and helpful gifts for the expectant Sephiroth buried under bland diapers and onesies.

Reeve made some unhackable baby monitors to prevent Hojo's tampering or observations. He told Sephiroth about the unhackability in private, when he also gave him a mobile and a white noise machine, all also unhackable.

Hojo somehow came down with the flu and didn't make it, and his gift got accidentally incinerated. Oops.

Rufus gave Sephiroth the majority of the registry's big ticket items, like strollers, car seats, etc.

Palmer had his administrative assistant buy something off the registry, and Anne, a surprisingly insightful woman, got it in blue with a bunch of squirmy sea creatures on it. Sephiroth wrote a thank you note just to her.

Other employees brought generic cards and cheap registry items.

---------

Cadet Baby Shower

The cadets couldn't afford jack shit, but organized a diaper drive and it turned out to be one of the best and most needed gifts of all.

---------

SOLDIER and Turk Shower

This was actually more like a rager, with a ton of fun games and the rest of the registry getting filled out.

Many of the Turks and SOLDIERS gave miniature weapons of all sorts that Sephiroth was completely delighted with and squirreled away almost immediately. To this day, Lazard is still emptying tiny-weapons caches all over the Tower. The SOLDIER-Turk merch war was absurd as well.

His closest friends gave him a set of 150 bug-out bags hidden around the city and Gaia. Each bag contained cash, food, and clothes for him, a friend, and his babies, and...

His most treasured gift: a USB with a photo album plus a handful of physical pics, including 4 Lucrecia hard copies in each bag. All his friends and comrades were represented, and his closest friends had written letters to be stored on the USBs. AGSL had each hidden a quarter of them, and no one except Sephiroth himself knew the location of all of the bags.

Zack was not permitted to know the location of more than 3. It's not his fault his mouth is so fast! He's a speedy guy!

---------

Sephiroth, unable to sleep, has repainted the entire SOLDIER floor and all of his nest areas 300 times by now.

He has also done heavy and light construction work all over his and his friends' apartments.

He considered building a "baby gate" to Cloud's dorm, but stopped himself while carrying the lumber and a drill onto the elevator, realizing he didn't want to become his father. To be perfectly clear, it wasn't the "imprisoning an adult employee against his will", it was the "anti-Hojo sentiment" that stopped him.

------------

"Sephiroth, darling, we need to talk about the 3am construction," said Lazard, holding Sephiroth's hand and looking him in the eye.

"Oh, yes, I can't sleep, so I prepare for the babies. They seem to enjoy it, as they stop kicking my bladder every 2 seconds while I'm up," Sephiroth replied, glaring gently at his belly. "In fact, they're getting excited now. It is the third time this hour!"

Lazard winced.

"I'm sorry, sweetheart, that sounds awful. I'll let you go in just a second, but could you please give some thought to another hobby? Several of your colleagues and even myself are experiencing fatigue due to the construction noise. Perhaps knitting would help? I know you're preparing for the babies, and you're doing an excellent job."

"Oh! Thank you for bringing this to my attention, I forget sometimes that not everyone is used to sleep deprivation. I will certainly consider it. Now if you'll excuse me, the children are getting restless and I drank a gallon of water."

"Of course," said Lazard, and let him go, relieved at the easy acquiescence.

It wasn't until the next day when he woke up to newly knitted carpeting throughout the entire SOLDIER floor that he began to question his suggestion.

"It's better than the construction," he muttered under his breath...until he passed Cloud and Zack knitted into the wall.

Excess blankets/tiny socks/hats/etc. get donated and save some cold children's lives ❤️ Helpfulroth ❤️

@snowbanshee

[ffvii-series-incorrect-quotes]

[lasitas]

FF7 Characters' Taste in Music Headcanons: Part 2 (Non-playable Characters)

Sephiroth: Classical, if he's picking anything, though he finds it equal measures off-putting and relaxing, so it kind of just leaves him neutral. Also, the deeper he descended into madness, the more he developed a taste for metal.

President Shinra: Dad rock

Rufus: Hip hop. Thinks it makes him cool and rebellious. Imagines he could be the next Eminem.

Elena: Vaporwave and Scandinavian pop. Follows Eurovision every year.

Reno: Classic punk like The Clash, The Sex Pistols. Also ska and 90s rock like Pearl Jam and Foo Fighters.

Rude: Smooth jazz or reggae, depending on his mood.

Tseng: Instrumental world music

Elmyra: Folk and Celtic. A bit of bluegrass. Also listens to a lot of evening public radio shows.

Scarlet: Sexy high-end bar music. Basically the genre "Scarlet's Theme" is.

Palmer: Unironically listens to Kids Bop

Heidegger: Doesn't listen to music that much. Mostly listens to sports talk shows if he has anything on.

Hojo: Static/white noise/ambient if he feels like he must have something on. Sometimes puts on classical to further unnerve his specimens, big Clockwork Orange vibes. Incidentally, this is why Sephiroth listens to classical since it's the music he grew up with.

[mostfuckableffvillain]

C'mon everyone, you all know you want to hit that like a truck

----

Tumblr blurred this for me because it knew it was just too sexy.

[altocat]

rank how much sephiroth likes each shinra director from most to least.

(In the order descending)

MOST TIER:

Lazard: Sephiroth genuinely liked and cared for Lazard. They weren't friends but there was genuine respect and fondness there. Sephiroth was quietly upset when it turned out that Lazard had betrayed them. He indisputably liked Lazard the most out of all of them.

Reeve: Sephiroth is indifferent to Reeve. Personally, he views Reeve as weak and ineffectual. Most of the time, he forgets Reeve even exists. But he also recognizes that Reeve is the only one besides Lazard with some sense of ethics and tact. So that gets him serious points.

Scarlet: Sephiroth DOES NOT like Scarlet. But he does respect her. He views her as the strongest candidate for leadership in the event things go south. While he loathes her personality, he can respect her ambition and drive.

EVERYONE ELSE (BOTTOM TIER)

Palmer: Sephiroth is indifferent to him the same way he's indifferent to Reeve. But the difference is that he finds Palmer creepy and possibly inbred. Don't ask him how he suspects this. He won't answer you.

President Shinra: Sephiroth recognizes on many levels that President Shinra is responsible for his life being a living hellscape. While he's resigned himself to that and has sworn his undying loyalty to the man, Sephiroth does not care for him personally. He can at least respect President Shinra for his dominance and resourcefulness as a businessman. But Sephiroth still doesn't like the fact that he's basically the personal attack dog for this massive douche.

Rufus Shinra: Same principles for President Shinra, except Sephiroth hates Rufus infinitely more. Rufus bullied Sephiroth as a child and Sephiroth never let go of that grudge. He'd be extremely loyal to Rufus if the other was president, but that doesn't change the fact that he hates Rufus' guts.

Heidegger: Sephiroth has no respect at all for Heidegger, and probably wouldn't listen to him under orders. Heidegger is a complete buffoon in his eyes. A waste of a man. Sephiroth would sooner cut him to pieces than obey him.

Hojo: No comment 💀

[rydiathesummoner]

I am once again asking Square Enix to ensure this scene makes it into the remakes. And once again asking can it please please please be Roche behind the wheel.

[izunias-meme-hole]

The Ultimate Tumblr Sexyman Tournament - Round 2

To summarize:

On one side we have the well established Tumblr Sexymen, and on the other side we have some competition who seek the title. Both sides have to fight amongst themselves in order to move into the finals where it will be an Established Tumblr Sexyman going against a possible usurper. Whoever wins is dubbed the Ultimate Tumblr Sexyman and the losers have to follow in his shadow for eternity.

Round 2:

Cecil Palmer Vs Sans

The Onceler Vs Bill Cipher

Sephiroth Vs Xemnas

Alucard Vs Ganondorf

[platesandoatcakes]

Here are some icons of the higher ups and executives of the Shinra Power Company from FF7 that I've made recently

I've saved them all here in case you want to see the whole set

[lifextime]

Final Fantasy VII: Rebirth | Final Trailer |

[berrywinkle]

I love Tsengru but I cannot imagine them having a normal or domestic relationship. I can only see them as a workplace scandal waiting to happen, and I mean that in the sexiest way. They think they’re being clever and sneaky about it, but anyone who pays attention knows they fuck nasty

[little-black-dress-zack-fair]

Scarlet: “We need girls who are meaner” y'all couldn’t handle ME my first time around.

Palmer: We still don't.

[level99challenge]

P: okay i won't

p: me neither

p: ...i'm undecided at the moment

--

Black trans lives matter

[ffvii-series-incorrect-quotes]

[dracovish]

final fantasy vii ultimania omega