#people are afraid of things not getting better completely but that's sometimes reality

[diyasgarden]

friendship jealousy: fear of being replaced

LOL I always feel replaceable so this one was fun to write.

In general, Tashi does not struggle with this. She has good self esteem and knows her value. Although, I imagine if you're very very close with her, she'll be slightly afraid you'll leave her. She knows her bluntness can be a little much to handle and that she has a large presence that could push someone away. Again, she would not usually care about how people respond to this, but she loves you deeply. Losing you seems painful, so she worries about it. It's just a thought that pops up every once in a while. Luckily it goes away quickly enough, so it's not something major. If you struggle with these feelings, it takes her sometime to deal with it. She does not really understand it (she thinks it is silly), but she does her best to reassure you. She does this by being direct about it. I do believe after her injury she was constantly afraid of being replaced, mostly because it was actually happening. She would see new female players go pro and have amazing careers, and she always feels like she is being left behind. Mostly because she knows she is. It's less of a fear and more of her reality.

Art struggles with both, and can get really jealous. He always wonders if you'd replace him if you found someone better to spend time with. Although his friendship jealousy manifests in a subtle way. Really he becomes a little more quiet around you and when he speaks he becomes slightly more blunt. At first, this is confusing because he usually is direct when he is upset, but this time all you know is that something is wrong. It takes you sometime before you realize, and once you do you try to address it. Actions speak louder than words when it comes to Art, so just reassuring him does nothing. You have to do things to show much how much you value him, and it takes a day or two before everything is back to normal. If you feel this way, it may take him sometime to realize. But once he does he does whatever he can to make you feel better. Usually more so through actions than words, because that's what helps him.

Patrick also struggles with both, but it is more of a side affect from his fear of being abandoned. Like he does get a bit jealous when you're spending more time with others, but really it's because he is afraid of the possibility of you just leaving him completely because you found someone better. He's always more or less felt this way. It first formed when he felt like his parents wanted nothing to do with him, and it just grew as he got older. He fully processed that it is a major concern for him when Art and Tashi left him. While he is aware he feels this way, he doesn't know how to handle it. This is why he feels like he may be abandoned he ends up becoming a little more distant and argumentative with you. It's his way of trying to protect himself. If he pulls back first, then is it really you leaving him? He views himself as replaceable, but he doesn't want to watch you replace him. When he feels this way, you have to be the one to reach out and show how much you value his presence, both through your words and actions. After sometime everything goes back to normal, but this does happen every couple months. If you feel this way too, Patrick understands it and is able to pick up on it. He isn't good with discussing these feelings, but he does whatever he can to reassure you throughout his actions.

[uncanny-tranny]

Something that actually helped me feel less suicidal was accepting that I will likely always be suicidal. That sounds counterproductive to some, but I felt so guilty about having it "so good," yet still being suicidal. I felt guilty for what I felt, and I felt selfish for going through so much and being affected by it in a stigmatized way. Now that I accepted this part of myself instead of shoving it away, I appreciate the things that make me want to live. I do want to live, but I also want to change my circumstances to make my life easier, even if it won't magically change my deeper feelings.

Sometimes, you will never stop being suicidal, and you know what? You are allowed to make your peace with that without stopping the emotions or without demonizing yourself or being demonized for it. This might not help everyone, but I always think offering different modes of thought and different ways of seeing to be beneficial in making sure we actually take care of suicidal people in non-stigmatizing and compassionate ways.

[anki-of-beleriand]

A heart Made of Glass ch. 13

Summary: Ten years ago you left Wanda and the Avengers to heal your broken heart. You never stopped being a hero, just as you never stopped being in love with her. But life had to go on.

Now, after all that time, she is back and with her is a young woman needing help and an enemy that may not be as afraid as Wanda to lay a claim on you.

Pairings: Wanda Maximoff x Powered!F!Reader - Scarlet Witch x PoweredF!Reader - Past Wanda Maximoff x Vision

Warnings: Angst, drama, mentions of cheating, fluff, violence, smut, Switch!Reader, internalize homophobia, hurt, comfort, Wanda being a complete mess, anger management issues, jealousy, Requited/Unrequited love, idiots in love, swearing, mentions of alcohol. More tags as the story progess.

Author's Note: This story is a continuation of Dirty Little Secret I was really surprised at the response I got for the story, I did all the tags you guys ask for but if I forgot someone please do not hesitate to tell me. Thank you for the support.

Oh, I am back and this chapter is a wrap-up for the confrontation between Reader and Wanda. They had been given a moment of solitude before going back to their own reality, can they really get past through everyting that happened to them in the past?

Please, do remember English is no my mother tongue so forgive my grammar, spelling and funny mistakes.

Chapter 1 - Chapter 2 - Chapter 3 - Chapter 4 - Chapter 5 - Chapter 6 - Chapter 7 - Chapter 8 - Chapter 9 - Chapter 10 - Chapter 11 Chapter 12 - Chapter 13 - Chapter 14 - Chapter 15 - Chapter 16 - Chapter 17 - Epilogue

Chapter 13

Can we change the past?

You never imagined this ordeal would end in the way it did.

The universe you left behind came crumbling down under the weight of its own shaky foundations, it became a cold unfitting world that disappear the moment you and the others touched the land of another Universe.

Everything was kind of blurry from the on.

You knew Wanda was taken away, and soon after you were also being carried to a room in which you lost consciousness after your body finally gave up. Your mind didn’t have the time to think about what had happened or what would happen after you were completely recover. You let things happened, and in that time you gave yourself to a blissful mindfulness in which you knew, sooner or later, you would need to face everything you had been running from.

It soon became evident that time was running out, with people coming in and out of your room checking over your physical and mental well-being before asking uneasy questions. Sometimes you would evade those questions, and some others you would give vague answers that would tell the others you were no fool.

You stretched out grasping thin air in your fist, tilting your head you started making a small sequence of Tai Chi you had learnt from Yelena. After more than a week of being in the hospital, you were finally able to feel your body as yours again. Your muscles flexed, and the shadows under your feet stirred with the silent command of your thoughts. You smiled glancing at your reflection through the window, everything was working just fine and you knew you were ready to go back home.

The door behind you cracked, and the knob turned to the left revealing the single figure of Doctor Jean Grey. The woman was beautiful, and her smile was infectious always putting your mind at ease.

“Hello, Y/N, how are you this morning?”

“Doc, I’m doing better now, thank you.” You spined around slowly, the shadows wavering around until they covered your feet, your smile grew cocking your head to follow the lead of your left arm then your right one.

“I certainly felt much better now.”

“I can see that.” The woman smile stepping closer to your bed while placing a single file on the breakfast table.

“Tell me you cam here with good news.”

Jean offered a single smile while taking a seat, she sat waiting for you to settle down on the bed. The room soon filled with silence that was only broken by the busy morning routine right outside your room. You had learnt your room was in one of the busiest wings in the hospital back in the Tower. Wanda had not been that lucky, though.

“Well, I do come with news, if they are good or not depend entirely on you.” Jean could see the change in you, even through the easy smile you wore the young doctor could see you were being overly cautious.

“Okay, I’m listening.”

Doctor Jean Gray sauntered inside the room with a light blush on her cheeks. Her eyes twinkling merrily glancing at the chart in her hands before settling then on you.

For some reason, the reaction of the woman made you squirm uncomfortably. You had been in this universe for two days now, but it wasn't until now that you were forced to go inside the examination room and get yourself a quick check-up. It was quite evident that in this world mutants and superpowered individuals were treated differently, and the rules governing each one of them were set to get control on the population. 

“You seemed rather chirp today, Doc, good news for you or me?”

Jean chuckled, placing the chart on the bed before putting a chair close to the bed.

“It's my anniversary, and I received quite the news today.” She stated tilting her head, you smiled back at her.

“Congratulations, then.” 

Jean nodded, putting a strand of hair out of her face, “thank you.”

“So that would be for you, what about me?” You finally asked leaning forward, your eyes drifting to the chart in your bed.

“Everything seems to be okay.”

“But…?” You arched a brow when Jean leaned back on the chair offering a serious facade.

“You had been quite silent in the last couple of days, keeping yourself out of everyone's way and most importantly,” here Jean stopped as if measuring her words, “your avoidance of your particular predicament has raised some concerns on our end.”

Silence followed such a declaration, you dared to lock eyes with the woman sitting in front of you well-aware of her ability to read beyond your initial thoughts. Jean didn't move nor did she give any indication of breaking into small talk, I stead she seemed to sit there and wait patiently for you to speak.

“I’m not sure I want to have this conversation.” You sighed, lifting a hand to the back of your head, scratching the nape of your neck. “But I guess it is inevitable.”

“It is.” Jean softened her features, grabbing the file she left on your bed, she opened it in a single page while presenting the form to you.

“How…how is she?” Your voice was above a whisper, but it was loud enough for Jean to hear it.

The woman leaned back letting you read the file while she started talking. 

“She is doing better now, trying to recover her magical core had been quite the challenge but our own team of witches and healers had come together to help around.” 

There was nothing much you could do but nod, your eyes drifted to the file with your thoughts trying to focus on a single issue at a time. Ever since the five of you got to that universe everything had been but a blur; your Wanda was taken straight to the hospital and she had been looked after Tony's team back in the Avengers Tower. 

“That's good.”

“I just want to do one last check-up before clearing you up, America has been waiting for you and the twins are very excited as well.” Jean chuckled, standing up making her way to the closest drawer and putting some surgical gloves out. “They seemed to think that having a pair of moms at their disposal would give them some kind of advantage in their mischief.”

You tried to hide your expression from the other woman, but it was inevitable. Jean offered a sympathetic smile while getting to work. 

“They are just children…” you mumbled feeling your body warm up, your muscles twitching just as Jean started testing your reflex. “I don't think they understand that much.”

“Mm, you would be surprised how much Billy and Tommy understand about the situation.” Jean leaned back, lifting her left hand and letting it hover right on top of your forehead. “They are pretty smart, and sensitive.”

You pressed your lips together not wanting to go into a discussion. Not that you could raise any arguments against that statement, you had noticed just how sensitive they were and how smart they were. They had come that first time into your room calling you mom without a care in the world, telling you about their day while also making you aware of how they had sneaked in to see you and Wanda.

Your counterpart had been amused by your reaction, while her Wanda had been just a tad bit concerned about the confusion the whole situation could create in the children. 

“If I were to be honest, you look more confused than them.”

“You told me you don't read minds unless you have permission.” You replied furrowing your brows, Jean had the sense of looking embarrassed but never lost her smile when looking back at you.

“You kind of scream that thought at me, sometimes it is inevitable.”

Jean then leaned back, grabbing your file and writing some notes down. 

“I think you're ready to go.” Jean cocked her head when the first thing you did was jump down the bed and go to the closest chair holding your clothes. “But Wanda…”

You winced, grabbing your clothes tightly before turning around, this time around Jean was looking serious, her eyes gleaming lightly.

“What about Wanda?”

The silence grew around the both of you, your body was already tensing the muscles you would need to run. Jean opened her mouth only to close it again as if she didn't know what to say or how to say it. 

“I think you should visit her, it can make a difference in her recovery.”

At the end of the day, this last visit from Jean Grey was just that, another attempt from these people to go to Wanda and make sure she was okay. For you to stop running and face her taking ownership of what would happen next.

It was complicated.

And you were unsure as to how to proceed or what was expected of you.

“Look, I just…”

“MOM!!!!”

Not sooner had you heard such a scream, you found yourself being tackled by a pair of bouncing kids. Your heart skipped a beat with your arms lifted at your shoulders height while the kids had their faces up to look at you with toothy grins. They were quite adorable, and in reality a part of you seemed to just instantly loved them, noticing the likeness they had to Wanda and yourself.

“Okay, guys let’s back up a little, remember what we talked to you about?” 

The room was suddenly very crowded, your counterpart came right in followed by America and Pietro. It became quite apparent that everyone was waiting for Jean to finish her last check-up on you before getting into the room and see how you were doing. You placed your hands on the twin’s heads ruffling their hair playfully while offering a tentative smile. 

“That’s okay, I’m getting used to the enthusiastic greeting.”

“And them calling you mom?” Pietro inquired, quaking his brow while placing his hands in his pockets.

You couldn’t help the little wince, recoiling from the comment with your body turning to the chair and grabbing your clothes once more. Billy and Tommy glanced at one another, with Billy opening his eyes really big while making a gesture with his head. 

“Anyway, I’m just glad to know your good to go, because I was thinking we can go right ahead and get a look around and perhaps…” America started babbling making her way to your bed.

You nodded absentmindedly, your attention drifting for a moment to your counterpart and Jean that had decided to step out of the room to have a small conversation. You couldn’t help but wonder what exactly was going on, and what they were discussing with your thoughts going over and over to the woman that was still unconscious somewhere inside the building. 

Everything was strange in this universe. 

A part of you knew that sooner or later the conversation of Wanda and you going back to your respective reality would come; but it was quite evident everyone was waiting for the right moment to intervene and perhaps get something done. 

“Well, I think you better change so we can get out of here,” Pietro broke your line of thoughts, his eyes gleaming mischievously with his lips curling into a familiar expression. “Billy and Tommy prepare something for you, and I bet you are dying to eat something that isn’t hospital food.”

“You are completely right on that one, I’m going to change and then…you guys can show me a good time.”

You offered a tentative smile, your heart dropping for a moment when the twins cheered babbling non-stop to America and Pietro. For a brief moment you wondered…

…was this what you were missing back home?

_______________

You had been welcomed inside the household of your counterpart. 

This time around, the guest room had been prepared and you could enjoy the joys of a soft bed and a nice view of the backyard while trying to get some sleep. The day had been quite unexpected, with the twins and America being active participants in different forms of conversations and different sets of games and rambles that you were not prepared to share with these people.

You had tried to get away from it, but Billy and Tommy were very adamant on having you close and including you in every single moment of their afternoon. You didn’t fight too hard to not be there, though. After a while you realised Wanda would not be joining the family outing and actually your counterpart ended up being just a good source of geek material that differed from the one you had in your own world. 

Not for a single moment did anyone mention the white elephant in the room.

And for that you were quite grateful.

But now, in the middle of the night with the stars twinkling above your head and everyone sleeping in the house you couldn't help but think about it. Time was running out, sooner or later you would need to go back and face the consequences of what happened back in Norway and in that other universe. 

Sooner or later you would need to face Wanda once more.

“It is pretty late for you to be thinking so loud.” 

You kept your attention on the stars, the room was completely dark which was one of the reasons as to why you knew she had come home already. The young woman took a few steps forward until she was standing beside you, her face turned to the sky with her arms hugging her tightly.

“I just couldn’t go back to sleep.” You shrugged leaning against the wall, your head tilted to the side. “It was quite an exciting day, I think I’m still in a sugar rush.”

Wanda chuckled, lowering her head, her eyes gleaming lightly, turning her attention to you.

“So I heard. The twins really took you everywhere and made sure you taste everything back in the restaurant, didn’t they?”

Your face fell when the memories of that day came back, the twins had never left your side while telling you stories about their adventures. Not for a single moment did they think or even entertained the idea of them not being part of your life in your other world. For them it had been natural to make sure that you and Wanda did not forget about them. That was one of the reasons why it had been a shock for them to find out you and they didn’t know about that restaurant.

“You should tell our other selves about this place, mom! I know they will love it!”

“Yeah, we love it, and you love bringing us here!”

It still burnt that this life was not yours, but there was nothing you could do. 

Wanda could read your thoughts; she could sense your pain and it was something she couldn’t take. Not with you. Wanda dropped her arms, stepping closer to you. Her hand felt warm on your face, brushing away your hair and mapping out the form of your jaw. It was so unexpected you couldn’t help but freeze in place the tension evident in the contraction of your muscles, your left foot stepping back and stopping waiting for the other foot to join. It didn’t happen, though, you stood there waiting for something else to happen. 

“They are good kids.” Your voice trembled at the very end of that sentence, but your eyes never waver in their hold of those green irises.

“They are. They are very much your children as much as they are mine.” Wanda offered a timid smile that soon vanished, whatever hold she had on you broke and the young woman turned around as if ready to leave. 

The tension in your body didn’t leave, and your mind was poking at you uncomfortably pressing over for you to speak. To say something, to ask the question you were dying to ask but didn’t dare to do so. It looked as if nothing else was going to be said that day, as if nothing else was going to happen and you were trying to get a hold of your beating heart when Wanda stopped by the door turning to the side and locking her eyes with yours.

“You will need to face her sooner or later, Y/N.” Wanda let her words sink in, her eyes softening lightly when she could sense the conflict inside of you. 

“Do I have to?” The question left your lips before you could stop it, Wanda lifted her shoulder stepping back. 

“I think you know the answer to that question,” she stated letting out a tired yawn, “what you really need to ask yourself, though is what would happen if that confrontation doesn’t come the way you expect it to be? What if it becomes everything you thought impossible with her? Are you ready to face that conversation? Are you ready to make a decision for you and her?”

You hated the fact this Wanda was so insightful and you hated even more that she was right. That was the real reason as to why you couldn’t sleep, as to why you were trying to bury your emotions and your memories, while also running away from what you were experimenting with. Of the changes that had come knocking on your door all those months ago.

“Have a good night, Y/N, rest and follow your instincts on this one because they…” Wanda left the sentence in the air, and it was you the one to finish it.

“They had never failed me.”

There was a flash of a smile and then Wanda left, closing the door behind her. 

___________________

But trying to follow your instincts was easier said than done.

A part of you knew the meeting was inevitable, after all, the both of you needed to go back to your respective Universe and this would never happen if you two kept on avoiding one another. But then, there was another part, the one you had been carrying with you for far too long, that was afraid of a confrontation that might broke your heart all over again.  

You played with time for as long as you could, taking advantage of Tony’s curiosity and Loki’s infinite questions. You became very helpful of Wong and Hank’s questions, and you couldn’t help but give in the twin’s whims every night before going to bed. Nevertheless, you had the days count on that universe, and it wasn’t as if you really wished to stay. You missed home, and you missed your friends and family; but the final step to get everything ready to go back was something you had never felt ready to do.

On the fifth morning you woke up on a guest room, you knew you couldn't run anymore. America had finished her breakfast and Y/N was reading the paper, no one did or said anything for a moment until you sat at the table with the coffee warming up the mug in your hands.

“Wanda is fully recovered.” Your counterpart stated, never leaving her eyes from the page she was reading, “she is confused, a little weak but ready to talk and go back home.”

“Talk?” You asked a little harsher than you were meant to.

Y/N lifted a single brow, her lips pursing tightly.

“With you.”

You opened your mouth to argue, but a kick on your leg made you stop. America was glaring at you, her head shaking slightly opening her eyes and glancing meaningfully at your counterpart.

“I know, I just…”

Y/N sighed, closing the paper and placing it slowly on the counter. Her eyes pierced you with a gaze filled with emotion, you shifted on the chair trying to look away but unable to do so.

“Whether you want it or not, you will need to have this confrontation. Whatever you are afraid of facing…I think you should get your shit together and face it right away. You are running out of time, and excuses.”

Your counterpart finished her tirade with a slap to the table, shaking her head as she stood up and left the kitchen. You cocked your head until you found America glancing at you.

“I guess there is no running from this, is it?”

America shrugged, biting her lower lip, “I guess not.”

You lowered your eyes to the counter before lifting them to ensure America was paying attention to you.

“Once this is over, are you staying or are you coming back with us?” The question caught her off of guard, America was looking shocked and her mouth tried to form a specific thought but was unable to respond right away.

You chuckled standing up, your hand on her shoulder.

“You would be more than welcome back home, but I know you missed this place greatly.” You squeezed her shoulder before walking away, a single wall of dark shadows spreading before you. “Think about it, America, I'll be back in a few hours and we will talk about me and Wanda going back home.”

“I will think about it.” America mumbled offering a half smile. “Good luck.”

You winked at her trying to show more confidence than you actually felt before crossing over the shadows and disappearing into them. The trip was short, with the shadows embracing you with a cold hold leading through the space until you stepped inside a dimly lit hall.

The place was completely silent, though you could make out the sound of chatter in the distance. You lowered your gaze to the floor, our ears twitching lightly ignoring the rest of the sounds and focusing on your heartbeat.

The last couple of months have been a complete rollercoaster for you. You never imagined, even in your wildest dreams, that Wanda would show at your doorstep with a young woman asking for help. For a very long time, you had put in the back of your mind the confrontation with Wanda. A part of you knew it would come, eventually. But you never intended to be the one to take the first step for the meeting to happen.

When you got to see Wanda face to face, and actually talk to her, your world came crumbling down around you. The barriers you had built around your heart and mind ended up not being as strong and resilient as thought them to be. Your heart still missed a beat at the sound of her laughter, and your hardened façade went away as soon as you saw the suffering and the heartbreak in those green eyes.

Wanda would always be one of your greatest weaknesses. 

And you hated yourself for that.

It was as if your own suffering didn't matter, as long as Wanda was fine and didn't have to feel what you felt. Yet you refused to believe her words or even offer forgiveness for the wrong doings in the past. All of this came crashing down in a single meeting, all the doubts and pain came back, but also the yearning and the confusion you were threatening to overwhelm you and leave you without a way out. 

You took a deep breath, your hand running through your hair helping your uneasiness. You closed for a brief moment, and your mind went blank emptying any thoughts that might come in and make you falter in your actions. The last couple of days, and actually the last couple of months, you had thought about this moment; you had given yourself and her a chance to step aside and let the past in the past and for the both of you ready to face the present without thinking too much about the future.

The room was in complete darkness, the lights were out and the curtains were still closed. You could hear the monitor in the corner, the bed occupied the left side of the room leaving a big sofa and a couple of chairs on the right. Hanging from the wall you could see the TV that was huge enough to almost cover the wall, the only thing that prevented this from happening was the side door leading to the bathroom. Tony was really into luxury, you closed the door behind you a little unsure on how to proceed.

The tension around the room only increased when you felt a pair of eyes on you. It didn't take too long for you to know who it was, you stepped forward making your way to the curtains. 

“Would you mind if I open them up? I prefer the natural light of the day instead of the artificial ones.” You turned lightly, finally locking your eyes with those of Wanda.

Your Wanda.

“That's fine.” She replied, her voice was but a whisper but you could get the strong laced tone that Scarlet used whenever she talked to you.

The room changed under the light of the day, while there was not much sun the sky was cloudless and the position of the tower as well as the floor you two were currently in allowed for the perfect setting for natural light. You glanced around a city that was familiar yet strange, the weight of that stare didn't leave you, not even when you finally turned around to lock eyes with her.

“You look fine.” Wanda lowered her chin, her fingers twitching on top of the bed wanting to do or say something else but unsure where her relationship with you stood at the moment.

“I wasn't that badly injured, but I think I did need the rest.” You took a step forward, then another until you were actually standing beside Wanda.

Wanda hesitated for a moment before moving to the left, she chewed on her lower lip before patting the spot on the bed.

“You can sit here, if … if you want, there is also a chair and…” whatever else Wanda was going to say was cut off by you taking her initial offer of sitting on the bed.

Wanda felt her heart do somersaults, her body tingling at your closeness and the little voice she had come to recognize as Scarlet’s whispering to her telling her to close the distance, to grab your hand, to not let you go. But she held back knowing that her position was precarious at best and whatever you had come to discuss with her needed to be addressed first. 

“How are you?” You fixed your position on the bed, well aware that the only thing you needed was to lower your arm and your hand would be touching Wanda's one. 

“I'm better now, a little sore and getting use to…” here Wanda trailed off with her brows creasing a little, “to be complete, I guess. It's difficult, but I think I am ready.”

Her words held a decisive tone, but her eyes were flashing the doubts running inside her mind. You realised right there and then that nothing much had changed in the last couple of years, there were things you could still read about her. 

“Ready for what?” You asked quietly, Wanda sighed shrugging.

“Going back.” She replied simply. “Getting out of your way, out of your life…I did promise you after all of this was over I wouldn't bother you any more…”

Her words stung your heart, spreading an electrifying pain all through your body until it hit your brain. You didn't understand why, exactly. That had been the deal, to help her out and then get her out of your life. Then, if you knew what was going to happen, how it would end, why were you having these doubts? Why did it hurt?

Wanda was in her own thoughts, a part of her she had tried to suppress, the one she tried to deny stirred in anger. Wanda wanted to speak out, to tell you she didn't want to go and that she certainly didn't want to pretend nothing had happened in the last couple of months. That seeing you had been one of her greatest joys in life, but it had also brought pain and sadness, that being in this universe seeing the twins and facing what could have been…

Without really noticing, tears started falling rolling down her cheeks while her heart shrank with the weight of her emotions. Wanda refused to give in, her fists closing tightly and her tears breaking her composure and without really wanting to she finally broke in front of you.

You observed the full process, the way her face changed and the tears pilling up her eyes. Wanda was trying to bottle up whatever she was feeling, whatever she was thinking. It was so easy to ignore everything the other woman was experiencing; it was easy to hold onto your shared past. 

But this was Wanda.

And you couldn't ignore her. That was the reason why you had to disappear after the breakup.

With a tentative touch, you let your hand fall on top of hers. Your thumb drew circles before leaning in and wrapping her in a hug. Wanda held onto you, her sobs filling the room while her hands tried to grasp your clothes. You didn't say anything, but for some reason you could feel it.

The apology you never allowed her to share with you. The broken heart she had been wearing ever since that day. 

“I'm sorry, I'm sorry…”

Wanda cried and once she started she couldn't stop. Fixing your position on the bed you made sure she was comfortably resting her weight on your left side, putting comforting arms around her while soothing her body with sweet caresses you had dared to make in anyone but her.

Whatever conversation you were meant to have with her, whatever it was you had come to talk to her about soon crumbled under the pressure of her tears and your own feelings for her. 

And just like that, you knew you couldn't let her go.

Not without a real conversation.

And not without a fight.

______________________

Wanda was not completely sure when she fell asleep, but right now she was completely aware of being awake resting on top of you with the warmth and comfort of your presence soothing her soul.

Her body tensed right away, though soon she relaxed into the embrace having noticed your even breathing and the relaxed posture of your body. You had fallen asleep as well and, at some point the both of you had ended up sharing the small hospital bed without anyone coming over to interrupt that moment.

Wanda nuzzled her face against your neck, she wished this was something she would share with you every day. How she had missed waking up in your arms, to see your smile in the mornings and your hyperactive body demand for the morning routine. Everything was so messed up, and she didn't know when she allowed her world to crumble into nothingness.

Her heart trembled with emotion, and her thoughts formed an idea Wanda knew was not completely hers but a figment of Scarlet. 

You have to fight back! You need to get her back! You need to tell her everything we discovered! Everything we know!

Her voice was demanding, yet it held a hint of desperation that Wanda was familiar with. It was the same voice she had woken up to back in the battlefield after the snap, the same one she had heard countless of times whenever she thought about you or a way to recover her life. Everything had been so complicated, yet it could had been so easy to recover her life to actually try to make a change and reconcile with everyone.

There were no more tears in her eyes, and the sadness and sorrow she had lived with all her life was a burden she was tired to carry with her. With some reluctance, Wanda let go of you stirring in the bed while trying to be careful in her movements, she missed your closeness and the warm that your body had provided but it was time for her to stand up.

You need to fight for her, you cannot lose her. Not again.

The voice echoed inside her head, and Wanda knew this time around she couldn’t allow her fears to stop her from at least getting a chance to be your friend. With that thought in mind, Wanda stood on weakened feet gathering her strength before walking towards the closes wardrobe and grabbing some clothes. She gave you one last glance before making her way to the bathroom, she would need to get ready for what would come next.

It was the cold what wake you up.

The cold and the fact you missed the weight of someone resting on your left side, you sighed blinking owlishly while patting the side of the bed where you were pretty sure your companion had been resting. In those glorious moments between being awake and asleep, you were trying to grasp the reality of the woman you had been holding. Your memory groggily moving through the smell of her shampoo, and the softness of her skin and then…

You remembered.

Wanda had been crying, you had held her, you had fallen asleep…

You stood up so fast that you fell of the bed hitting your head against the night table, while hitting your ass on the ground.

“Ugh, fuck…”

“Are you…are you alright? What…did you fall off the bed?”

You wished you could hide, but instead of that you lifted your face to see Wanda standing by the bed trying to hold back her laughter just as her eyes gleamed with worry. You could sense the blush forming on your cheeks, while your whole body seemed to protest under the pain of the hits you got when falling.

“I…yes, I just…woke up too fast and…I fell off the bed.”

That was all that Wanda needed to start laughing, she couldn’t help herself. She had seen you woke up and then lose all control while getting your feet entangled on the sheets and falling on your ass. It had been funny, and the fact that you now looked all embarrassed and were pouting made for the scene not only something funny but quite adorable.

You huffed trying to stand up, rolling your eyes while the other woman held against the bed trying to control her laughter.

“Yeah, yeah, laugh all you want, little witch…” the nickname slipped your lips without giving it a second thought. That made the laughter died and once more the room was filled with a tension neither one of you were ready to maintain.

“I’m sorry it’s just…your face, and the way you fell, so full of grace…”

“I bet.” You rolled your eyes trying to check your head and body before settling your eyes on Wanda.

The young woman had put on some jeans and a white blouse, while her hair was still wet after the bath. You furrowed your brows looking away while catching the time on the clock on the wall. It was almost midday, which would explain why you were so hungry all of a sudden.

“I guess you really are feeling better.”

Wanda bounced lightly checking her hands and body, she wouldn’t say she felt better but she certainly was tired of being in bed while letting everyone come in and out to check her over. This world had a peculiar way to treat people with powers and having so many people with magical abilities come in and check her magical core had been extenuating and rather uncomfortable. The only time she had felt at ease had been with her counterpart, and that had been a whole different situation.

“I just need to get out of here.” Wanda finally revealed offering a half smile, “I heard from one of the nurses they have a nice restaurant right across the street, it has sandwiches and pizza…perhaps…”

You blinked a couple of times at the suggestion, your hand went right away to your pocket and your wallet. You hope the money you carried with you had some sort of value on this place, with a shrugged you nodded your agreement.

“Sounds like a plan. Lead the way, then.”

Wanda couldn’t hide her smile at the acceptance, she turned around and grabbing a jacket dragged you out of the room making her way directly to the elevator at the end of the hall. None of them noticed the camera watching their every move or the shadowy figure hidden in a close-by room. Your counterpart smirked shaking her head, she owed her wife a nice dinner. Wanda had always been right. Always.

In the security room, Wanda Maximoff allowed a tiny smile on her face, she lifted her stare to Tony and Loki, both of them shook their heads still slightly confused about the interaction.

“Now, what?” Tony finally asked staring at Wanda then at Loki.

“Now, we wait.” Loki replied waving away his hand. “For now, I think they are right, I’m starving and you ought to feed us, Stark.”

“Why is it always my responsibility?”

“You’re the one with money.” Loki replied ignoring the indignant huff coming from the older man, and the amused chuckled from Wanda.

_________________________

The restaurant was almost empty.

There were a few empty tables in the back, the one you chose was perfect for a nice conversation by hiding you two away from imprudent ears. The place was cosy, with decorations of blue and green creating a magical atmosphere with the dim lights around the establishment and the sweet aroma of spices that made you remembered home. You sat down facing Wanda who was looking troubled at the moment.

The waitress dedicated you a timid smile while putting a strand of hair behind her ear.

“Welcome to the Sandwich Emporium, what can I get you today?” Her question was directed at you, and her eyes never even bothered to look away as you grabbed the menu she was offering.

“I’m not sure, what do you recommend?” You glanced at the menu then back at Wanda, the redhead was glaring at the menu pursing her lips lightly while you merely frowned.

“Well, that depends on what are you looking for,” her tone of voice didn’t leave anything to the imagination, and you couldn’t help but raise a single eyebrow at that. The young woman opened her eyes wide blushing profusely. “I mean…I…”

“She is having La Tricolore and I’m having La Tartuffo.” Wanda point two pictures on the menu, before handing it over to the waitress, her eyes gleaming strangely while you just blinked slightly confused. “And I’m having some water, and she is having a cappuccino.”

“Very well, I’ll be right back.” The young woman left rather quickly, her ears burning red after having come across the redhead.

You had your eyebrows raised glancing over at Wanda who was trying rally hard to ignore you. After a moment she finally let out a heavy sigh, her head turned away from you.

“La Tricolore has beef, cheese, some hazelnuts, and that pistachio cream you…” here Wanda trailed off opening her eyes when she realized what she had done. “I’m sorry, I…”

“I like it, sounds delicious.” You placed your hands on the table not really bothered by what had happened but rather confused. “I’m surprised you remember.”

“I never forget.” Wanda brushed her hair away lifting her face to finally lock her eyes with yours. “I always…remember, Y/N.”

“I remembered too, Wanda. I remembered everything.” You stated but whatever anger you had held it had given way to bitterness and sadness.

Wanda winced tapping on the table before wiggling her hands together.

“I…I never got to…” She tilted her head, and you could see the tears hidden behind those green eyes. “I’m sorry.”

It didn’t even cover what had happened, all the pain she had caused on that day. But those words made your soul tremble, you scoffed shaking your head leaning back on the seat.

“It is too late, don’t you think?” You could see your words hurt her, and everything you had lived up to that point came rushing in piling up inside your mind until you just put everything away and left what was important.

Wanda nodded defeated, “I know, I just…I never got to say it to you.”

But it wasn’t about asking for forgiveness, and you knew that. And Wanda was also well aware of the fact. The question was not about forgiveness, the question was if you could move forward after everything that had happened.

“I never got to say it, I messed up. I was so afraid, I just…I didn’t know what to do, how to react, how to…deal with everything.”

Wanda spoke with a clear desperation tinge in her words, you could see the crumbling behind her eyes, how her soul would tremble while trying to tell you everything that you didn’t want to hear ten years ago.

“Vision was convenient.” Wanda said, this time around she grabbed the seat tightly her body completely tensed making her neck hurt as she forced herself to keep her head up and look at you. “I was so afraid, so lost and…and It’s not an excuse! I deserve your hatred! I deserved your anger! I just…”

“You could have told me, you know?” You finally said when it was obvious Wanda couldn’t continue talking. “I was there for you, and I could have helped. I thought you trusted me but instead of telling me whatever was happening you…”

This was not the conversation the both of you were supposed to have, or at least it wasn’t supposed to be this way. You weren’t supposed to understand, but to stand your ground and tell Wanda how much of a bitch she had been. But the last couple of days had taught you something about yourself, about Wanda and what could have been. And if Wanda was confused you weren’t fairing any better.

“I know you don’t get it, and that’s okay because you grew with Natasha and then you have Fury and Maria and Yelena…” Wanda waved her hand weakly, her tears rolling down while her eyes revealed the deep sadness she had always carried with herself.

“I lost everything, and I didn’t know how to deal…and you were strong, and brave, you were not afraid of anything and I was only me.” Wanda broke into a sob, with a crooked smile that showed you just how broken she was. How lost she was still feeling.

“I…after it happened I never…” Wanda started but couldn’t finish, you perked up at her words because this was something you hadn’t bothered to find out.

“What happened after I left? Were you happy? Did he make you happy?” You didn’t mean to sound so bitter, but your words carry with them poison that you had been holding for far too long.

“I didn’t stay with him, Y/N. I tried to look for you, to reach out for you but…but I couldn’t and I didn’t stay with Vision, I didn’t feel anything I just… I messed up! Okay? That’s what I did, and I didn’t know how to make it better and I’ve been trying to be good to make it better all these years…”

You wouldn't know about that.

Just as she was trying to do some good, you were trying to forget. It was one of the reasons why you kept yourself out of everyone's business and dealt with the superhero work alone. When Tony and Steve got into that quarrel and you saw what happened back in Lagos you knew you had made the right decision. Then, everything became more complicated and you just busy yourself with other problems, always trying to keep the team away while trying to get glimpses of news about Wanda. You knew it had been hard for her, and you also knew she was never alone.

Vision.

That had always been the main issue, wasn't it?

“I was on the run with the others, but I just wanted to disappear. Vision…he was helping me with getting a new identity.” Wanda leaned back tilting her head to the wall to hide the tears rolling down her cheek.

It was an answer to an unasked question. The conversation died for a moment, the waitress eyed Wanda before offering a smile to you placing the different orders on the table.

“Do you need anything else?”

“No, thank you.”

“Well, if there is anything I can do, I'm Anne.” The waitress offered one last smile walking backwards and then leaving you two alone.

The food smelled delicious; you grabbed your sandwich allowing Wanda the moment of privacy. The silence grew heavier just as you distracted yourself glancing around the place while taking another bite from your lunch.  

“I was just trying to live my life, and then when Thanos happened…” Wanda huffed turning to her food, she was no longer hungry if anything she wanted to disappear. 

Everything seemed so pointless, the look in your eyes would never leave, and she would go back to a world in which she was despised by the only woman she had ever been in love with.

“This is really delicious; you should try it.” You interrupted her, offering a full smile while grabbing another bite.

Wanda blinked confused; she kept her eyes on you then back on her food. For a brief moment, she hesitated, she was no longer hungry and if she were to be honest she felt tired. You took a sip from your cappuccino, placing your hand on the table, dangerously close to hers.

“I know you are hungry, Wanda. And I also know…I didn't want to know, but I get it.” You passed your hand on your hair pressing your back on the seat. “I'm tired of this, I just…”

“I can't take it when you look at me like that.”

“Like what?” You crunched up your nose, Wanda lowered her eyes grabbing her food.

“As if I am nothing to you, as if you…you hate me and…”

She trailed off putting the food in her mouth and silencing her words. You frowned, pursing your lips while playing those words inside your head. 

“I don't hate you.” You softened your features, your eyes glistening under the weight of memories. “I could never hate you.”

Silence followed your statement, the shivering discomfort of what your words could mean infused the atmosphere with questions Wanda didn't dare to ask. You lowered your gaze and focused completely on the sandwich that was still on the plate, and for a good half hour that was all you and Wanda did. 

When there was nothing else coming in between the unfinished conversation, Wanda put her hands on the table her eyes down casted. This was actually the very first time the both of you came face to face without anyone or anything coming in between. It was a confrontation you never thought would happen about something you had always imagined. It always came with different scenarios, but the outcome had always been the same. With you finally finding peace and never looking back, and with Wanda filled with regret for what she had lost.

This conversation though was completely different. You lifted your face finding those green eyes staring back at you with longing and a deep sadness that had become characteristic of Wanda. 

“How did you end up in Westview?” The question rolled out of your lips with a hint of bitterness you could not hide.

Wanda winced playing the napkin on the table, you waited until the woman started talking again.

“I found the box you hid in your room back at the Avenger's compound.” She stated simply, her lips breaking into a grimace. “I never…after you left I never went back there until after the battle with Thanos and Steve’s funeral.”

Your eyes opened lightly in realisation; you remembered the box in which you had hidden the future you hoped to share with Wanda. The ring, the map, and the picture…everything made sense now; now you understood why Wanda had chosen that place and how everything had fit at one point or another. The only thing that was out of place had been Vision, your expression hardened and Wanda could tell you were thinking about Westview the life she had created there.

“I never thought of him, you know? I went there because I wanted to…” Wanda snorted lifting her face to the ceiling, her voice trembling under the weight of the memories. “I wanted to understand, and in a way, I wanted to find a way to go back to you. Not as…I mean, I wanted to at least be…be your friend.”

You shifted on the chair hearing as Wanda finally tell you her part of the story, how she had been completely alone after coming back from the Blip. Steve’s funeral showed her just how alone she was, and how lost she really felt; she didn’t have a work or a home or even family and friends. She spent her time driving around until she decided to ask for help and went to the only person she could think of: Tony.

In all this time you could see the story behind her eyes, you could read the suffering and the deep sadness in the gestures and the words that carried with them the flashbacks of those days in which you were ignorant of Wanda’s fate.

“I went there to punish myself.” Wanda broke into a bitter smile, “I guess I did a good job.”

“Wanda…” You started but the words tangled in your throat, the other woman waited expectantly but after a moment her face fell.

“You don’t have to…”

“You don’t have to punish yourself anymore.” You frowned lowering your gaze to the empty dishes on the table, you were fully aware of her eyes on you. “All this time, isolating yourself while unable to reach out to anyone…then, finding yourself in Westview with this Agatha…”

Wanda swallowed down her tears, she was trembling with a flame of hope flickering inside her heart. Wanda knew she had created the world around Westview, she knew that her isolation and her grief had broken out into an explosion of her magic to create a reality she could deal with. But she also knew her magic had been tampered with, and her illusion had been corrupted.

“I never stopped thinking about you.” She whispered with her hands grabbing the chair tightly, her eyes filled with unshed tears.

You nodded standing up while making your way to where she was sitting, you offered your hand though your face never changed. For a brief moment, Wanda hesitated, she glanced at your hand and then with a trembling hand accepted it.

“They do look like us, you know?” You stated flatly, your hand warm against hers.

Wanda furrowed her brows, her tears rolling down her cheeks but her eyes gleaming in confusion.

“Why?”

“Billy and Tommy.” You stated simply. “They do look like us.”

_______________________________________

That night you sat right outside the house.

Music and conversation could be heard in the backyard, with the lights of the kitchen projecting shadows on the grass. The sky above hour head was still showered with white dots that resulted familiar yet so different to what you were used to; the air was cold but nothing you couldn’t take in a night like that one.

You took a deep breath filling your lungs with cold air, inside your mind thoughts came crashing down into a myriad of possibilities and plans yet to be executed. The conversation with Wanda had gone unexpectedly well, yet you knew a lot of things needed to be done and said before things would be okay.

“Aren’t you a little cold out here?” America crunched up her nose trying to balance the two glasses she was carrying with her.

You turned to her, chuckling before stretching a little to help her out.

“Aren’t you supposed to be a part of this great celebration?”

America shrugged offering a tiny smile, “the twins are distracted with Wanda, both of them, and the rest is just chattering around.”

“So you decided to come to me?” You shook your head taking a sip from the beverage the young woman had brought with her. “You’re crazy.”

“Not as crazy as you are.” America wrapped her hands around the glass eyeing you out of the corner of her eyes. “How are you?”

“I guess I’m okay, how about you?” You pointed with your head to the house behind you, “this is what you missed, isn’t it? Now that you are back, well…”

America nodded turning her body to yours, “I feel happy, but I also feel lost. I know that I found them again, and I have so many possibilities right now, I just…”

 “Don’t know what to do?” You asked, America shrugged lowering her eyes.

“I’m finally starting to understand my powers and to get some control over them, if I keep working on them I would be able to travel without getting lost.” America let out a sigh dropping her shoulders, “those are a lot of possibilities and right now I think I need stability and keep learning.”

“Wise words, you have grown some, kiddo.” You bumped against her shoulder; the young woman blushed lightly offering a timid smile. “It may take time, but I’m pretty sure you will learn to control them.”

None of you mentioned the possibility of America finding her way back home, while it was an option it didn’t mean that America would find it once she had some control on her abilities. But for now, the young woman was happy to learn more about her powers and herself, her heart and soul finally finding a place she could call home.

“You don’t mind me coming back with you and Wanda?” America finally asked biting her lower lip while taking the last sip of her drink to her lips.

“No, I think it’s going to be fun.” You replied glancing at the young woman, “but I have to tell you right now, the training is going to be brutal.”

“I didn’t expect anything else.”

You chuckled nodding, “good.”

America straightened up tilting her head to glance at you then back at the house. You knew what the question was she wanted to ask, but you didn’t rush it.

“Are you and Wanda going to be okay?”

“I don’t know.” The honesty with which you answered that surprised even you, you turned to America with a serious face. “I’m not sure what would happen, America, but I guess I’m willing to find out.”

“That’s good, right?”

You shrugged, and the young woman went back to rest her head on your shoulder still highly confused by your answer. The sound of laughter, music and conversation filling out the sudden silence that embrace the both of you, your thoughts coming back to Wanda and the day you had spent with her.

Only time would tell what would happen next, and you were waiting anxiously what would happen next.

_______________________________

Billy and Tommy were talking non-stop, they were excited showing Wanda the latest project they had been working on back at school. The young woman could hardly hold her tears while letting her children talk to her about school and their lives as if she had always been there.

At first, it had hurt.

Wanda knew they were not hers, and yet she couldn’t help but love them and see them with the same eyes she had seen the twins back in her universe. A part of her never thought she would see Billy and Tommy again, the moment the illusion had fallen around her and she discovered what she had done to Westview she knew there wouldn’t be a way for her to recover her children.

Yet here they were.

 In another world, in another universe looking the same as she had imagined them once.

This time around everything was as it was supposed to be, with you by her side raising two children being a happy family.  A part of Wanda felt envy for everything her counterpart had and she couldn’t have.

“Are you sure you can’t have a family of your own?”

Wanda huffed turning to the source of the voice, her counterpart stood right beside her with softened eyes staring at the twins that were getting ready for bed. Wanda dropped her arms to her sides, her eyes glancing back into the room then back to the woman standing beside her.

“I’m pretty sure, she…” Wanda wrapped her arms around herself furrowing her brows, “she doesn’t love me anymore. I am nothing more than…and ally, and even that would be to stretch out our relationship.”

The other Wanda pursed her lips, she stepped closer never letting go of those green eyes she was so familiar with.

“You don’t believe that.” Wanda stated holding back a smile when the other woman stepped back scowling.

“I have to believe it, I can’t…” Wanda sighed lifting her chin to the ceiling holding back her weakness, she didn’t want the twins to see her cry. “I have to believe it or I will break my heart once more and I can’t lose control of my magic, I…last time it didn’t go well.”

The room filled with laughter, Billy ran to the bed jumping up and down with Tommy trying to follow up before falling down on his face. Wanda couldn’t help but gasp ready to help out but stopping when a gentle hand wrapped tenderly on her forearm. It was strange to see herself staring at her looking the same yet being so different than she was.

The twins were back in the game, falling on bed while discussing some subject Wanda couldn’t hear pretty well. The fall was soon forgotten and both of them were ready to go to sleep.

“Go on, you can put them to be and I will wait for you here.”

“Thank you.” Wanda whispered to her counterpart entering the room and going to Billy first.

The woman offered a shaky smile, her trembling hand brushing away his dark hair while her lips curved into a smile. Billy smiled back blinking slowly.

“Are you okay, mom?”

Wanda nodded leaning in placing a single kiss on his forehead, “more than okay, Billy. Have a good night, baby.”

“Good night, mommy.”

Then, Wanda went to Tommy who was looking at her differently, he wrapped his arms around her hugging her tightly and this time around she couldn’t help but cry.

“I love you, mom.”

“I love you too, Tommy, now go to sleep.” Once more she placed a kiss on Tommy’s forehead and with that she stepped back walking towards the door. “Sleep well, guys.”

“Night, mom!”

The door close behind her, and Wanda stood there allowing herself the goodbye she had longed to have with the twins. She tried to give the right closure to her emotions knowing full well she would go back a world in which she would be all alone. No twins, no Y/N, only her.

“Thank you.” Wanda whispered locking her eyes with those of her counterpart, the other woman nodded curtly.

“I knew it was important for you.” The woman hesitated for a moment before continuing, “but you shouldn’t lose any hope, Wanda. You and Y/N…”

“Don’t, please.” Wanda said softly. “Don’t give me hope, don’t tell me it is possible because…god, I’ve been breaking my heart over and over again and I just…I can’t take it anymore.”

“Then don’t let it go, don’t let it go without a fight.”

Wanda lifted her face to see her counterpart dead serious, the woman came closer wrapping her hands on her forearms making sure Wanda could not look away.

“You love her, and I am pretty sure she loves you as well, whatever happened in the past it shall stay there.” Wanda then softened letting go of her grip. “Don’t give up just yet, you may be surprised.”

Wanda wanted to talk, she wanted to believe but at the moment she was just tired and overwhelmed by everything that had happened, everything she had lived up to that point. She was overwhelmed by the fact that you were so close to her yet so far away, that she would go back to a world in which the twins were not there and she would be, once more, alone.

________________________________________

It was a sunny day.

America went over the contents of her backpack, her body was tingling all over while a void filled with butterflies settled in her lower abdomen. She closed her eyes taking a deep breath, her hands trembling while she secured the zipper on the backpack.

“You look nervous, you know you don’t have to go, right?” Y/N came into the room glancing around before settling her eyes on America, the young woman turned around offering a tiny smile.

“I know.” She replied shrugging, her hands played with the band on her wrist she tried to look everywhere but at Y/N but at the end of the day she couldn’t help it, she lifted her face and let the tears fall down.

“I’m sorry.” America whispered waiting for a recrimination on her part, for Y/N to finally tell her how bad she had messed up the first time she had fallen on their Universe.

But it never came, nor from her or Wanda, or anyone for that matter. America surrendered to the warm embrace of Y/N’s arms, she let the tears and sobs she had been holding to scape and finally liberated her mind of the guiltiness she had been feeling all this time.

“Hey, kiddo, it’s okay, it wasn’t your fault.” Y/N whispered soothingly her hand drawing circles with a half-smile showing on her face.

“I just…I shouldn’t have run the way I did, I should have fight or something.” America replied, leaning back, she was furrowing her brows while lifting her hands. “I could have stayed and helped around.”

“It wasn’t optional, though. You had to keep going to survive, that’s rule number one in this line of work, America.” Y/N put her hands on her pockets, her hair falling to the side with an easy smile adorning her lips. “You did what you have to at that point and no one should ever blame you for that. If it hadn’t been that way well, I wouldn’t be here telling the story.”

America doubted very much that it would have happened in such a way, but she would never really know it for certain. Ever since she started travelling through universes consciously she had learnt to deal with the different realities, trying to adapt to them and survive them. She never thought she would settle in a single universe, much less that she would get attach to the people in it.

The sound of conversation broke the sudden silence in the room, the twins laughing with Pietro and Wanda yelling for everyone to go to the backyard was the signal America had been waiting for. She stepped closer to give Y/N one last hug.

“Thank you for everything you did for me, Y/N. I couldn’t say this the last time due to the circumstances…”

“Us running for our lives?” Y/N chimed in chuckling, America snorted rolling her eyes.

“Yeah, that, I mean you guys received me in your home and gave me a chance to a family, I just..I will always carry that with me.”

Y/N softened while giving the teen another hug, “anytime kid, you are welcome in our household whenever you decided to come back.”

“I know, I just think I am needed it elsewhere.”

“I think so to.” Y/N stepped back glancing to the open door. “Watch over them, make sure that they are okay.”

“I will.” America smiled grabbing her backpack ready to go.

It was almost midday by the time America and Y/n came out of the house.

The backyard was full with Tony and Loki working around the logistics and the twins just running around between the two Wanda’s and everyone else. You stood by the garden, the conversation that Loki was having with Tony, Wong, Hank and America had lost all meaning as you entertained yourself with the last sight of the world that could have been. Your body was completely tensed, your eyes drifting around until they fell on the form of Wanda, your Wanda.

“Are you ready?” Y/N asked, you turned to her shaking your head.

“Were you?”

“No, I was never ready whenever she was around.” Y/N replied shrugging, “but once we had made our mind there was nothing that could stop us.”

You snorted nodding, “that’s right.”

“Are you going to fight?” Y/N stepped closer, her eyes going from you to Wanda then back again.

“I am going to make things right, I’m not sure if they will end up the same way it did here.” You replied placing your hands inside your pockets. “I guess only time will tell.”

Y/N nodded stretching her right hand to you, an easy smile forming on her lips.

“I hope everything goes well for you and Wanda, Y/N, just remember what’s really important.” Y/N said grabbing your hand with a friendly squeezed. “Please, be happy.”

“Protect them and be for them whenever they need you.” You replied squeezing back.

“I will.”

“Well, I guess we can try the portal once more, are you guys ready? Did you say your good-byes?” Tony clapped before rubbing his hands, everyone went to get in position until the cries of two boys reached them over.

Tommy and Billy came running with Wanda following them close behind, Billy went directly to Wanda wrapping his arms around her while Tommy went to you.

“I’m gonna miss you.” He mumbled looking up at you.

You chuckled ruffling his hair playfully, “I doubt it, pal. You have your mom’s here, but I am gonna miss you.”

“Say hi to your Tommy for me, please? Tell him he has the best mom in the whole universe!”

Those words pierced deeply inside your heart, but the innocence and the smile in Tommy’s face made you held back any reaction that wasn’t one of agreement.

“I will, Tommy, be good.”

At the other side of the yard Wanda and Billy were having a similar conversation, Wanda hugged him tightly before trying to let go. Billy called to her, looking around before wrapping his arms around Wanda’s neck, his lips close to her ear.

“Everything is gonna be okay, mommy, don’t worry, mom will come around.” Billy offered a toothy grin to Wanda who was too shocked to talk. “say hi to your billy for me, love you mom!”

Wanda watched as Billy joined his brother right beside their mother, Wanda locked eyes with her counterpart who offered a half smile and a vision Wanda Maximoff would not talk about until several years later. For now, she was just filled with doubts, and hopes, and uncertainties and soon Wanda was drowned by the voices surrounding her.

“Okay, this shouldn’t be that difficult, everyone remembers their roles?” Loki asked once more standing to the side while pointing at America who rolled her eyes.

“I do, I remember.”

“Good, because if you fail the three of you are going to be traveling around without a proper destination and probably die a horrible dead.”

“That’s so comforting, Loki.” You replied rolling your eyes. 2Stop scaring America and do your job.”

Loki rolled his eyes flickering his hands while putting the golden book out of thin air, he sat down crossing his legs while looking to an invisible spot in front of him.

“Very well, your timeline is not that hard to find, it is the only one with a latent anomaly.”

“How can you tell is ours and not a random one?”

Loki glared at you before going back to his work, “I can sense it, and this one lack something, it is missing something, I guess that would be both of you.”

Soon everyone was taking positions, Wanda stood beside you shifting from one foot to the other, her hands wiggling nervously while she tried to keep her eyes right ahead of herself. You could sense her uneasiness, her hands twitching biting her lower lip. America came forward, she was showing off a frown filled with confusion that Tony helped erased with a whispered explanation.

You eyed Wanda out of the corner of your eyes, the woman was completely tensed still bouncing trying to hold onto something but unable to find herself at ease. You doubted it for a moment before you grabbed her hand in yours.

Her hand was warm and soft, at first she was completely tensed and rigid but as soon as she sensed it was you her hand started to relax and give in the feeling.

“It’s gonna be okay.” You whispered; Wanda offered a smile nodding.

“I know.” Wanda knew that as long as you kept holding her hand everything would be okay, she didn’t dare to say anything else but in a bold move she spread her fingers and soon her hand was intertwined with yours.

You jerked around but Wanda was completely focused on America, after a moment of hesitation you straightened up frowning lightly though your hand clasped tenderly Wanda’s hand.

“Okay, it was nice meeting you all, now let’s begin.” Loki closed his eyes and soon the golden light of his magic started gleaming powerfully forming a tight circle that surrounded you and Wanda alongside America.

America could feel the power, she was sensing it through her muscles and her fingertips while her mind became a mask of pure blankness trying to form an idea. She remembered the lesson, to follow the magic around her while also joining her energy with that of Wanda and Y/N, her power running through her arm in electric jolts and then igniting her eyes until she was finally ready to make it explode.

Pulling her arm back, closing her fist America stretched her arm hitting the space in between her and the backyard creating an explosion in the form of a Star. The portal opened until it was as big as America, you peeked in watching the white plains of Norway, or at least that was what you thought.

With a last glance to your counterpart and Wanda, you squeezed the hand you were holding tenderly.

“Ready?” It was all you could say before the young woman nodded and with a single step she dragged you right through the portal.

The world you three had left behind was waiting for you.

And you were not sure what would happen next, the only thing you knew for certain was that you didn’t want to let go of the hand holding yours.

The portal closed behind the three of you leaving everyone behind with many questions and little to no answers.

Billy and Tommy hugged Wanda still glancing the place where the portal had been moments ago. The woman glanced at her children knowing there was something bothering greatly.

“Mommy, do you think they will love us?” Tommy asked lifting his face to Wanda, Wanda furrowed her brows tilting her head.

“What do you mean, baby?”

Billy scrunched up his nose, “You think they will love Billy and Tommy the way you love us?”

Wanda softened at the question; she knelt in front of her boys not really knowing how to explain that in their world they both didn’t even exist.

“Billy, I’m pretty sure that they would be very lucky to have children like the both of you, and they would absolutely love you very much.” This answer seemed to satisfy the boys, and just when Wanda thought the topic was over Tommy talked again.

“They are gonna love us very much, mommy.” Tommy smiled snugging closer to Wanda. “Just like they love one another very much, that’s how you and mommy made us, right?”

Wanda didn’t answer, but a part of her certainly hope that Tommy was not wrong. She had always hoped that her love for you would survive in every universe, Wanda lifted her face to see Y/N looking at her with tenderness and love, and Wanda knew right there and then that her counterpart would be okay.

You never stopped looking at her like that, you just learnt how to hide it pretty well.

You were still pretty much in love with your Wanda.

And now that you were gone with her, only time would tell if love was still possible.

Wanda sighed wishing you would let go of your resentment and doubts and give yourself and her counterpart a chance.

With a last glance to the space where you and the others had been standing, Wanda turned around hopeful that the past would stay in the past.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Next Chapter: You are finally back to your universe, everything seems surreal as you and the others are taken to interrogation rooms before resuming your normal lives. Carol doesn't want to leave your side, and Wanda knows she needs to step aside even though that's the last thing she wants to do.

[ilguna]

☼ NFWMB pt2 (Finnick Odair) ☼

summary; you'll do anything to protect Finnick, you can't live without him. so when it comes to saving Katniss from the arena or leaving her behind to save him, you make the obvious choice.

warnings; swearing, death, death mention, weapon use, fighting, blood, fire, hunger games stuff.

wc; 6.2k

notes; this is not canon compliant!!

part one.

--

It’s easy to forget just how soul-sucking the Hunger Games can be when you haven’t been inside of an arena for nearly a decade. It’s different when you’re mentoring, because all you have to do is give your tribute advice, but trying to put it into action is a completely different scenario.

Some victors are incapable of moving past the trauma inflicted, like Annie or Chaff, who are both disabled because of it. While others had fairly smooth Games, and even look back on it without issue, like Brutus or even you. Which isn’t an easy feat to achieve, at least for you. You would never have chosen to come back in here if it weren’t for a cause. For Brutus, this really is just a game.

You won’t lie, you definitely came in with so much hope, thinking you would be able to change the way the Capitol treats you, but now it’s been pulled out of every inch of your body. It’s especially bad this time, considering you know these tributes—these people. A lot of them you’ve mentored with, you’ve taken care of tributes with, that you’re friends with.

It’s only every night, when you’re forced to see the faces in the sky, are you faced with the reality you’ve been hiding from. This is real. The casualties of this war are real. You’ll never get to see any of these people again. They’ll forever be in a casket in their home district. They will never know if their efforts helped to better Panem.

Yesterday, the victors you lost were: Cashmere, Wiress, Blight, the man from District Ten, the woman from District Five, and the morphling who jumped in front of the mutt to save Peeta. 

Six dead. 

The Games lost a pretty significant amount on the first day too. The ones remaining now are Gloss, Brutus, Enobaria, Chaff, Beetee, Johanna, Katniss, Peeta, Finnick and you. There are only three enemies now, and it’s the Careers. It would be nice to find Chaff before the end of tonight. There is no guarantee, considering how vastly large this arena is.

The faint sound of tinkling interrupts the early morning silence you’ve been sitting in, watching the sun slowly rise from behind the tall jungle trees. No one moves from where they’re sitting on the sand, letting the parachute tilt from side to side, before eventually landing in front of Finnick.

Katniss sits up to scoot closer to Peeta, rubbing the sand from her eyes. You keep an eye on them for a few moments while the bread is counted. When Finnick is sure of the amount, he quietly announces there’s another twenty-four rolls, and they’re from District Three. This brings the grand total to thirty-three. 

You each take five, leaving eight left over.

It doesn’t take long for you to finish what you have. You steal glances at Katniss every so often, curious on what her expression is looking like, and it’s pretty grave. There’s a crease between her eyebrows, eyes wandering to the water. She’s thinking, and you’re afraid to know about what exactly. 

Actually, it might be fairly easy to get inside of her head. At this point, the majority of the tributes left in the Games are part of the alliance you’re in. The only ones not part of it are obviously the Careers. This probably stresses her out, making her worried about how much longer it’s going to last, and if you’re going to turn on her soon.

It’s a good thing that the plan is to get out of the arena tonight, because she’s not going to stay for much longer. In fact, you wouldn’t put it past her if she tried to escape sometime today.

Katniss suddenly gets to her feet, reaching for Peeta’s hand. He gives it to her willingly, letting her pull him up. “Come on. I’ll teach you how to swim.” She says, pulling him to the water.

You keep an eye on them for a while, with Johanna seemingly doing the same. When you’re sure there’s nothing going on between them, you turn your body halfway away to give them some privacy. Johanna relaxes too, making a bed in the sand so she can take a nap, after losing so much sleep the first couple of days.

Finnick gets up to gather a good armful of vines, then he takes a seat next to you. Once he begins to weave the net, you lean into him, head on his shoulder. You watch his hands move, noticing how clear it is that he’s done this many times before. He moves with confidence, tying knots that are hard to undo. You hum softly while he works.

“I miss laying in our bed together.” Finnick murmurs. “The lazy days we would take and then feel guilty for.”

“There’s always so much work to be done.” You sigh.

“Soon there won’t be any.” He whispers. “Once this is all over.”

You lift your head, reaching over to guide his lips to yours, thumb rubbing his jaw. He kisses you gently, keeping you there for only a couple of seconds before pulling away. You admire his eyes, a smile peeking at the corners of your mouth.

“I love you.” You tell him.

“I love you more.” 

“I don’t think so.” You laugh, looking away.

You catch Katniss standing up in the water, waving her arm. “Hey, Finnick, come on in! We figured out how to make you pretty again!”

He lets out a noise, which dissolves into a laugh. He presses a quick kiss to your temple before getting up, following them into the water. You watch as they gather handfuls of sand, rubbing it against their scabs so that they fall away. They take their time, being sure to get every one of them, including on their backs. When they’re done, they come back onto the sand to apply another layer of the medicine, joining you shortly after.

Beetee clears his throat. “I think we’ll all agree our next job is to kill gloss, Brutus and Enobaria.” He says. “I doubt they’ll attack us openly again, now that they’re so outnumbered. We could track them down, I supposed, but it’s dangerous, exhausting work.”

“Do you think they’ve figured out about the clock?” Katniss asks.

“If they haven’t, they’ll figure it out soon enough.” You tell her, shaking your head. “They’re smart, you should’ve seen their strategies in the past.”

“I got an idea of it.” Katniss nods.

“Perhaps not as specifically as we have.” Beetee says somewhat hopefully. “But they must know that at least some of the zones are wired for attacks and that they’re reoccurring in a circular fashion. Also, the fact that our last fight was cut off by Gamemaker intervention will not have gone unnoticed by them. We know it was an attempt to disorient us, but they must be asking themselves why it was done, and this, too, may lead them to the realization that the arena’s a clock.” Beetee tells you. “So I think our best bet will be setting our own trap.”

“Wait, let me get Johanna up.” Finnick says, taking a step away. “She’ll be rabid if she thinks she missed something this important.”

“Or not.” Katniss mutters quietly, you give her a small smile. You can’t blame her.

Once Johanna is up and awake enough to comprehend Beetee’s babble, the plan continues. Only, he has you scoot back a few feet in the sand so he has room to work it out in front of you. He effortlessly draws a circle, dividing it into twelve wedges. It’s obviously a map of the arena, just not as nicely drawn as the ones that Peeta have been making.

“If you were the Careers, knowing what you do now about the jungle, where would you feel safest?” He asks.

You withhold a sigh that threatens to release. You’ve worked with Beetee—and Wiress—a few times in the past to collaborate for the sake of your tributes. It’s funny how the technology tributes and the water tributes attract to each other like magnets sometimes. You don’t mind it when they explore outside of the Career pack, you even encourage it if they feel like they can do more.

However, that means you have to deal with the Three mentors. Which isn’t inherently bad, but you can’t stand the way that Beetee talks to people when he thinks they won’t understand a plan straight-forwardly. He will give you all the pieces to put together, and then he’ll tell you what he’s come up with. And Wiress wasn’t much of a help in these situations, because her sentences would drop off and she’d dissolve into laughter. Like they have their own joke about treating other victors less than.

It’s part of the reason why everyone groaned when Katniss decided she wanted Beetee and Wiress in her alliance. But they were going to be a vital asset either way. Even if she didn’t want them, Haymitch and Plutarch would’ve organized it so they agreed. 

“Where we are now. On the beach.” Peeta answers Beetee. “It’s the safest place.”

“So why aren’t they on the beach?” He asks.

“Because we’re here.” Johanna says impatiently.

“Exactly. We’re here, claiming the beach. Now where would you go?” 

Katniss’s eyes drift to the jungle. “I’d hide just at the edge of the jungle. So I could escape if an attack came. And so I could spy on us.”

“Also to eat.” Finnick chimes in. “The jungle’s full of strange creatures and plants. But by watching us, I’d know the seafood’s safe.”

Beetee smiles, like he always does when he’s satisfied his tests worked out. “Yes, good. You do see.” He says, you press your lips together in annoyance. As if all of you aren’t part of a bigger plan to take down President Snow. “Now here’s what I propose: a twelve o’clock strike. What happens exactly at noon and at midnight?”

“The lightning bolt hits the tree.” Katniss says.

“Yes. So what I’m suggesting is that after the bolt hits at noon, but before it hits at midnight, we run my wire from that tree all the way down into the saltwater, which is, of course, highly conductive. When the bolt strikes, the electricity will travel down the wire and into not only the water but also the surrounding beach, which will still be damp from the ten o’clock wave. Anyone in contact with those surfaces at that moment will be electrocuted.”

That’s not complicated at all, you think. There’s a bit of silence that follows, though, as they properly digest this plan, weighing the pros and cons themselves. No matter what happens, Katniss will be protected, you’re here to make sure of it. Even if all else fails, you’re supposed to prioritize getting her to the end.

You’re not worried, though. You, Finnick and Katniss will get out of here, at least. The others will follow. 

“Will that wire really be able to conduct that much power, Beetee?” Peeta asks after a minute. “It looks so fragile, like it would just burn up.”

“Oh, it will. But not until the current has passed through it. It will act something like a fuse, in fact. Except the electricity will travel along it.”

“How do you know?” Johanna asks.

“Because I invented it.” Beetee says to her, as if it’s obvious. As if he’s not the type of guy to risk his life by running into the Cornucopia on the first day of the Games for some random wire. “It’s not actually wire in the usual sense. Nor is the lightning natural lightning nor the tree a real tree. You know trees better than any of us, Johanna. It would be destroyed by now, wouldn’t it?”

“Yes.” She answers reluctantly.

“Don’t worry about the wire—it will do just what I say.”

“And where will we be when this happens?” Finnick asks.

“Far enough up in the jungle to be safe.”

“The Careers will be safe, too, then, unless they’re in the vicinity of the water.” Katniss points out.

“That’s right.” Beetee agrees.

“But all the seafood will be cooked.” Peeta says.

“Probably more than cooked.” Beetee nods. “We will most likely be eliminating that as a food source for good. But you found other edible things in the jungle, right, Katniss?”

“Yes. Nuts and rats.” She says. “And sponsors.”

“Well, then. I don’t see that as a problem.” He shrugs. “But as we are allies and this will require all our efforts, the decision of whether or not to attempt it is up to you five.”

Well, really it’s up to Katniss and Peeta. You, Johanna and Finnick should be on board already. Either this is a real plan that Beetee has set up to make sure you’re at the tree at midnight, or he genuinely believes that this is the best way to get rid of Gloss, Brutus and Enobaria. Or both. Regardless, you have no choice but to follow his guidance.

Katniss looks between everyone in the group, eyes landing on you. You give her a small encouraging nod, a push in the right direction. You won’t be in the arena past midnight, there is no reason to preserve the seafood. 

Katniss must trust your judgment. “Why not?” She asks, looking at Beetee. “If it fails, there’s no harm done. If it works, there’s a decent chance we’ll kill them. And even if we don’t and just kill the seafood, Gloss, Brutus and Enobaria lose it as a food source, too.”

“I say we try it.” Peeta agrees. “Katniss is right.”

Finnick looks between you and Johanna, raising his eyebrows. “All right.” She says. “It’s better than hunting them down in the jungle, anyway. And I doubt they’ll figure out our plan, since we can barely understand it ourselves.”

You almost laugh at that last remark.

Beetee declares that he wants to take a closer look at the lightning tree before he has to mess with it tonight. Katniss observes the sun, saying that it has to be about nine in the morning, meaning you’re going to have to leave in an hour when the wave comes. So, it’s better to go now.

Peeta brings you to the beach that borders the lightning section. He and Finnick briefly discuss what to do with Beetee, because he’s still recovering from the cut on his back. Finnick suggests taking turns carrying him, and Peeta agrees, despite the fact that he’s not running at full power, either. He’s still weak from the forcefield on the first day, and he’s got a prosthetic leg.

Johanna leads the way because it’s a straight path to the tree, with Finnick, Peeta and Beetee following directly behind her. Katniss insists on taking the rear because she has the arrows, so you keep in front of her. You just watch the jungle carefully on the way up, in case there’s spying eyes on the trees.

The journey to the top of the slope is irritating. You get your foot caught in several tangles of weeds, wiping an ocean of sweat from your skin every couple of minutes, and you can feel the burn beginning on the top of your thighs from the constant stepping. Not to mention, the air is so thick and hard to breathe with how hot it is here. You’d think it'd be cooler because of the canopy of leaves above, but the beach is better because of the breeze from the water.

“We’re almost at the top.” Johanna tells you after about a half hour.

“She should take the lead, then.” Finnick suggests through heavy breaths, pace slowing to allow a break. “Katniss can hear the force field.” 

Beetee’s eyes narrow, turning his head to look back at Katniss. You move out of the way to allow a clearer sight. “Hear it?” His voice is skeptical.

“Only with the ear the Capitol reconstructed.” She explains.

He slowly nods. “Then by all means, let Katniss go first.” He pulls the glasses from his face to wipe the steam away. “Force fields are nothing to play around with.”

She nods, passing you to go to the front. Finnick looks to you to make sure that you’re okay being back there, and you give him a smile. The hike continues for about another ten minutes, but you can see the lightning tree way before that. It’s unmistakable compared to the others that surround it. 

Katniss gathers a handful of nuts to use to confirm where the force field is. She stops suddenly, tossing a nut. The group of you watch as it bounces off what appeared to be a fern. If you had to guess, she’s about fifteen yards away from it.

“Justy stay below the lightning tree.” Katniss tells you.

Duties are quickly divided up by Beetee. Finnick is told to guard him while he takes a look at the tree. Johanna goes to tap for water, because you’re all thirsty after the way up here. Peeta goes ahead to gather nuts to sizzle, and Katniss disappears into the jungle to hunt for the tree rats.

You keep close to the tree, patrolling around it, while Finnick stays where he is next to Beetee. Who is currently taking laps, peeling off bark, measuring with his hands. It’s mildly amusing to listen to his mumbling nonsense. You really can’t stand being around him for longer than an hour at a time, especially when he’s doing that.

Luckily, the ten o’clock wave shakes the ground, letting you know a little more than an hour has passed since getting to the tree, since the wave signifies the end of the hour. Katniss shows up soon after with her tree rat, taking a seat next to Peeta. She draws a line in the dirt to separate her and the force field, and then goes on to clean her kill, cube the leftover meat, and then sears it by throwing it at the force field. Peeta follows her example by roasting the nuts one at a time. They start a pile of food on a large leaf.

Beetee peels another piece of bark from the tree, wandering over to Katniss and Peeta, only to throw it at the force field. It bounces off, landing in the dirt, glowing a bright orange color. It takes a few seconds for it to return to its normal color. And when it does, he murmurs, “Well, that explains a lot.”

A clicking interrupts his thoughts, he raises his head. The group of you fall into silence to hear where it’s coming from. It’s almost musical, and it sounds like it’s in the second next to you. It seems as if you weren’t crazy last night, you were hearing correctly. Johanna swore up and down that she couldn’t hear it. Now, she has no choice.

“It’s not mechanical.” Beetee tells you.

“I’d guess insects.” Katniss murmurs. “Maybe beetles.”

“Something with pincers.” Finnick nods.

The beetles get louder, excited by the sound of your voices. 

“We should get out of here, anyway.” Johanna says. “There’s less than an hour before the lightning starts.

The group of you don’t go very far, only to the identical tree in the next section over. You gather around the large leaf in a squat, eating the nuts and meat in turns until there’s nothing left. You’re not exactly full after, but that doesn’t stop you from sitting on the ground and leaning against a tree to rest.

As soon as the air starts to show signs that it’s getting staticy, Beetee asks Katniss to climb up one of the jungle trees to check out the first couple of lightning strikes. She does this without issue, staying for a couple of minutes to observe, before coming down the branches. When she describes the brilliant blue the tree turns with every bolt, Beetee nods thoughtfully. He thanks her for her help, and then it’s suggested to go down to the beach to wait out the next eight hours.

—

The anthem plays, but since there were no deaths during the day, there are no faces to show in the sky. Panem is undoubtedly on the edge of their seat. The people back home in the districts have their fingers crossed that there are no significant casualties of their beloved victors. And the Capitol will hardly be able to contain their excitement for the bloodshed to come.

Unfortunately for them, the only blood that will spill tonight will be of their favorite Career victors. The plan is to kill Gloss, Brutus and Enobaria, and for the rest of you to make it out of the arena alive. The more time ticks on, the more you’re sure this plan will go without a hitch.

When Katniss and Finnick are sure that it’s about nine, you leave camp, which is now littered with shells from this evening's lunch. You hike up the twelve sector’s jungle in the same formation you had earlier. Beetee’s feeling somewhat better, so he’s able to carry himself up the first half of the way before he needs help from the other two boys.

At the tree, Beetee asks Finnick to help him, while the rest of you guard them. He starts by unrolling several yards of the wire, making a pile to the side. He then goes on to order Finnick to tie the loose end around a broken branch, and then leave it on the ground. Next, they stand on opposite sides of the tree, passing the spool back and forth.

Over time, you can see it begin to layer, shimmering gold in the moonlight. 

You know what time it is when the wave hits, shaking the ground. Beetee announces that he’s done with the tree, which means that it’s time to carry out the second half of the plan. He tells Johanna and Katniss that he wants them to take the coil down to the beach, slowly unraveling it as they go. 

Beetee tells them it’s really important for them to lay some wire across the lightning beach, and to get rid of the spool deep in the water, so that it’s impossible to retrieve. Once it sinks, they have to run for the jungle to take cover. If they leave now, they should be able to make it to safety.

“I want to go with them as a guard.” Peeta barely lets Beetee finish before he talks, shaking his head.

“You’re too slow. Besides, I’ll need you on this end. Katniss will guard.” Beetee tells him. “There’s no time to debate this. I’m sorry. If the girls are to get out of there alive, they need to move now.” He hands the coil over to Johanna.

“I would feel better if (Y/n) went with them, at least.” Peeta says, looking at you next.

There’s an issue with that. While you’re supposed to guard Katniss at all costs, it was decided before the Games that Johanna would be the one to take care of the tracker in Katniss’s arm. Since Katniss trusts you, and she’s not the greatest fan of Johanna, it was Haymitch’s idea to make Johanna do it.

In the case that Johanna died, then you would do it. But you also have another prominent problem, and that’s the Careers. Johanna is a fantastic fighter, she’s incredibly vicious, but she doesn’t have the practice or stamina to fight three Careers at once, if the occasion were to arise. It was impossible to predict only one of them would die before it was time to be rescued. You were all hoping that none of them would try to get in your way, but the Gamemakers really screwed things when they gave Katniss and Peeta high training scores.

So, you can’t go with them. Johanna will protect Katniss and get the tracker out of her arm. Finnick will protect Peeta and keep him occupied at the tree. Beetee will make sure that the tree works the way it’s supposed to. And you will either lead the Careers to the beach to get electrocuted, or you’ll stalk them and kill them one by one. Whichever is more convenient.

“I can’t.” You tell Peeta plainly. “I’ll be here with you. Johanna is more than capable of keeping your girlfriend safe. Let them go or we’ll have to come up with another idea.”

Katniss nods, motioning for Peeta to go to her. “It’s okay.” She tells him. “We’ll just drop the coil and come straight back up.”

“Not into the lightning zone.” Beetee reminds her. “Head for the tree in the one-to-two-o’clock sector. If you find you’re running out of time, move over one more. Don’t even think about going back on the beach, though, until I can assess the damage.”

Katniss cups Peeta’s face in her palms. “Don’t worry. I’ll see you at midnight.” She presses a kiss to his lips, and then turns to Johanna. “Ready?”

“Why not?” Johanna shrugs, beginning to head down the slope. “You guard, I’ll unwind. We can trade off later.”

The four of you watch as they disappear into the trees, taking the wire with them. It’s rigid, suspended in the air. You stand there for a couple of seconds before turning away, wandering, patrolling. Nothing is said between you guys, but it’s clear that Peeta’s unhappy by the way the tension just rolls off of him.

You hum quietly, swinging your spear in your hand, waiting for the arena to tell you what time it is. You share glances with Finnick, mostly because you can feel his anxiety about the situation, too. Between him and Peeta, your muscles begin to lock up, your moves becoming more rigid. 

There’s no reason to be worried. Johanna will bring Katniss down to the water, they’ll deposit the wire. In the jungle, Johanna will remove her tracker, by then the Careers should be dead. Katniss should chase her all the way up the blood rain section, where the four of you will be waiting, and then you’ll get taken out of the arena.

Or something along those lines.

The sound of clicking begins, you pause your movements to look in the direction of where the beetles will be. SInce time isn’t exactly clear here, it could be eleven on the dot, or a quarter of the time after. Either way, hopefully they’re pretty far down the slope, they don’t have much time.

You let out a sigh, beginning to turn back in the direction of the wire, when it snaps. A metallic sound fills the air, making you wince. You watch one of the ends fly toward the tree, bunching up into curls before laying on the ground. Unmoving.

That’s bad, you think. This is about to get really, really bad.

You open your mouth to speak, thinking maybe you can convince Peeta not to run away just yet. Katniss and Johanna will come right back to you, since the plan is obviously a bust, and you’ll need to come up with something different. But a shadow in your peripheral stops you. A large shadow.

You draw your arm back, launching the spear in the direction of the threat before you can stop to think about it. Finnick lets out a choked noise behind you, maybe to tell you to wait a second, but it’s too late. It’s gone into the jungle.

A surprised yelp comes from the area, you jerk forward to attack, pulling a knife out of your belt, holding it at your side. You stop flat in your tracks when Brutus emerges from the treeline, shadows hiding half of his face, making him appear sinister.

“Brutus!” You shout to the boys, stealing a glance over your shoulder. 

Gloss is coming out of the other side, sword in his hand. Peeta and Finnick show their own weapons, a machete and a trident. You can barely see Beetee out of the corner of your eye, and he’s inching closer to the force field.

“Beetee, stay away from there!” You tell him, turning back to Brutus.

He’s closer now, you swing at him, he dodges. It goes back and forth like this, with him gaining on you. The boys are easily fighting off Gloss, they have the upper hand. You would have some even ground with Brutus, if you hadn’t thrown your spear. If you had waited half a second more, he’d probably be dead.

Brutus is twice your size, it doesn’t take long before he’s basically on top of you. No matter how close your blade gets to his body, he’s good at dodging. A heavy feeling starts to weigh in your chest, because you know you’re going to lose this fight without help.

A canon blasts, making your next stab weak. Brutus easily grabs your wrist, twisting it harshly. You hiss through your teeth, grimacing at the pain. You try to punch Brutus with your other hand, but Brutus just smiles. His hand covers yours entirely, making it impossible to get away.

“Peeta, no!” Finnick shouts. “Stop!”

“Finnick—!” Your voice is shrill, Brutus is beginning to squeeze, cutting off circulation.

Beetee appears from behind Brutus, the branch wrapped with wire in his hand. He manages to throw it around the Career’s neck, before throwing his entire body back. Brutus lets go at once, going with Beetee to avoid being garrotted. You stoop to the ground to retrieve your knife, taking a steep jump onto Brutus, when he kicks you square in the chest.

You fly for a second, and when you land, it’s on your back. The air is stolen from your lungs. You struggle to suck in a full breath, a deep ache beginning. You try to speak, but all you can manage is a moan, eyes closed.

Another canon.

“(Y/n)!” Finnick shouts. “Breathe!”

A hand touches your face.

“Help!” Beetee chokes out.

Your eyes pop open as you twist in the dirt, finally being able to breathe. You find Gloss dead in the dirt, three puncture wounds across his chest. On the other side is Brutus, who’s slowly crushing Beetee beneath him.

Finnick pulls you to your feet, together, the two of you attack Brutus, which is easier said than done. It doesn’t matter if he’s on the ground or standing, because he manages to hold the both of you off. You have your knife, Finnick has his trident, and Brutus has his strength alone.

Beetee is practically useless, he only recently started feeling better, and now he’s out again. 

You don’t know how long you fight for, how many times you get Brutus into a vulnerable position, how many times he gets out of it. It’s a frustrating process, building up inside of you. You’re about to take a risky move, but Finnick beats you to it, losing the trident in the process, getting his hand smashed and broken before Brutus punches him across the face.

Finnick collapses in a heap on the ground.

The sound of clicking is getting quieter. You swipe at Brutus, trying to catch him in a pattern so that you can counter it. He’s so precise about his punches, so much weight thrown behind them. You’re surely going to have bruises covering your body. Your arm, your legs, your face, your torso, your wrist.

“Fuck!” Brutus suddenly shouts, a red stripe begins to come alive across his chest.

Blood.

Like an animal, triggered by the sight, the whole rest of the world gets dark as you pounce on Brutus. In the matter of seconds, you have him torn apart, your own skin covered in his blood. When the canon finally blasts, when he’s finally dead, the hair on your arms stands straight up.

“(Y/n), get away!” Johanna’s voice cuts through the air.

In the next second, there’s an electric zap! You’re thrown away from Brutus’s body, stumbling toward a tree. You land on your hands and knees, an unfamiliar energy coursing through your body. 

When you blink, the arena goes dark. You throw your head back, watching as the hexagon’s that make up the force field begin to go dark, revealing that the arena is only a projection made by the Gamemakers. The black spreads across the dome, taking away the moonlight, too.

The next thing you know, the sky is falling and the jungle is on fire.

“Finnick?” You call, pulling yourself to your feet.

You face the lightning tree, and your eyes are able to lock in a few faces, but not all of them. Beetee has been completely singed, the wire that had been wrapped around the tree is now completely gone, which means he went about the wire in a different way. Maybe he blew the fuse when the lightning struck?

You find Johanna and Peeta nearby, unconscious in the dirt. You spin in circles, eyes searching the area around, desperate to find your boyfriend. You need to make sure that he gets on that hovercraft. He’s more important than anyone here. He needs to survive.

Finnick is closer than you thought, lying face down. You flip him over, dropping to your knees to feel for a pulse. When you find his heart beating strong and steadily, you move to Johanna and Peeta. They, too, are alive.

Right as you begin to drag them to line up with Finnick, a familiar voice is shouting from somewhere close in the jungle. You almost drop Johanna’s ankles to go search for her, remembering that it’s your job to save her over everyone else.

How much time? You wonder, looking up to the opening in the dome, which has now revealed a bright blue sky beyond it. The claw belonging to a hovercraft is coming down, answering your question. There is no time. They’ll only be able to grab a couple of you before it's too late and they’re caught by the Capitol. 

Plutarch’s following your tracker location. If you begin to follow Katniss’s voice, that means they’ll abandon the victors you have here. Peeta, Johanna, Beetee and Finnick will be left behind. You and her will be saved. You can’t go chasing after her.

“Katniss, quick!” You shout to her. “Peeta’s here! He needs you!”

You tug at Johanna one last time before dropping her legs. Right as you step away, the claw wraps around Finnick and Johanna’s bodies, beginning to pull them to the sky. When they see that it’s not their beloved Mockingjay, they’ll send another claw down. You can get them to take Peeta, at least. Beetee’s too far to drag.

“(Y/n)! Peeta!”

“Katniss, run!” You move on to Peeta, straightening him out, making him an easier target to grab. 

The claw reaches the hovercraft, and it’s immediately sent back down. Katniss isn’t here yet, meaning she’s moving too slowly or she’s too far away to make it. You can’t start towards her now. They’ve got the claw in motion.

“Shit.” You shake your head, Beetee groans quietly, telling you he’s alive. But who knows how much damage was done from the force field? “Katniss, you need to run!”

It doesn’t matter. The claw comes down, positioned over you and Peeta. You take a seat, letting the claw clasp beneath you before beginning to pull you up. You close your eyes, shaking your head. They’re going to be pissed when you get up there. They don’t have much time.

The jungle burns a bright orange and red beneath you, black smoke billowing in the air. You can see a speck run into the clearing around the tree, and you know that it’s Katniss, coming too late. The claw pulls you inside of the hovercraft, and the trap doors close, making solid ground.

“Where’s Katniss?” A voice demands, you slide off of one of the claw teeth, looking over to see Plutarch. “Why is Peeta here? The deal was to get Katniss.”

“She wasn’t at the tree.” You tell them with a slight head shake. “Beetee’s down there, too.”

“Katniss is the Mockingjay.” Plutarch says, as if it isn’t obvious. “Your priority was to make sure she got out of the arena.”

“I know, but she wasn’t at the tree. Everyone else was there except for her. Even Johanna made it.” You motion to the ground. “Can’t you go one more time?”

“No, the Capitol is right behind us.” Plutarch closes his eyes, letting out an angry sigh. “This is not how this was supposed to go. What are we going to do with the boy?”

“I don’t know, Plutarch.” You move away from the claw. “But I did what I could.”

You got Finnick out of the arena, that’s what matters most to you. While you would’ve taken Katniss had she gotten there in time, she wasn’t. She was too far away to get to. Did they really want you to take one girl over three other people? It makes no sense.

They’ll just have to figure it out. You did your best. You made a judgment call.

“President Coin will want to talk to you when we get to District Thirteen.” Plutarch tells you, you pause in the doorway, looking over your shoulder.

“And I’ll stand by what I did.”

[boring-brooklyn-babe]

Manifestation of Planets in the 6th House

Sun. You're probably a workaholic. You're the type of person who wakes up early, gets to the office before anyone else, and stays late. You take your work seriously and always strive for perfection.

Moon. You're a bit of a hypochondriac. Every little ache or pain sends you into panic, and you're always googling your symptoms. You're very attuned to your body, which can result in very unique/niche health routines.

Mercury. You're incredibly organized and love making to-do lists. You're the person who remembers everyone's birthdays and knows exactly what to do when there's a problem at work. 

Venus. You have great taste; you're always well dressed and your work area looks like something out of an interior design magazine. But, you can also be a bit of a pushover. You'll say yes to anything people ask of you, even if you might not want to. You just can't say no, and it's not doing you any favors.

Mars. you’re always pushing yourself to be better, be stronger, faster. You love taking on challenges , but you can also be a little too intense. Like, you might be the only person waking up at 4 AM to run 20 laps.

Jupiter. You're incredibly lucky when it comes to your career, and you're always in the right place at the right time. You're the person who gets the big promotion, the raise, or the job offer out of nowhere.

Saturn. You can have incredibly high standards for yourself. Sometimes you can be a little too hard on yourself, and forget to have fun in the process.

Uranus. You're always looking for new and innovative ways to approach your work, and you're not afraid to take risks. You're the person who introduces a completely new way of doing things.

Neptune. You might struggle with seeing things clearly. You're the kind of person who will start a new job or project and have all these grand ideas, but when reality sets in, you realize it's not quite what you thought it would be. 

Pluto. You're probably always looking to change yourself and your surroundings. You're the kind of person who will take on any job, no matter how terrible, just because you're convinced it will make you a better person. You're also the person who's always asking for a raise or a promotion, because you know you deserve it. 

Chiron. Another hypochondriac placement. You're always convinced you're sick or dying, and you're constantly running to the doctor for every little thing. 

Lilith. You might struggle with authority or being told what to do. You're the kind of person who wants to do things your own way, and you don't want anyone else to tell you how to do it. But you're also incredibly intuitive and can pick up on things that other people might miss. 

[highdreaming]

Preferences: Protective Things He Does

💢 All the works are pure fictions, for entertainment purposes only so please, read it at your own will.

Find more at: Masterlist

» Pedri + Gavi + João Félix

AN: Please like, reblog and give me feedback!

--

Pedri 

He knows you’re someone that enjoys staying home most times, not really being a very outgoing person and he’s more than fine with it. He usually doesn’t go out much either, you two keeping company to each other while watching a movie. 

But sometimes, when you’re forced to go out - to a Barcelona’s party or event to accompany your boyfriend, Pedri makes sure to keep tabs on you all night. He hates to leave you by yourself and always makes sure to check up on you, even if the other WAGS are there to keep you company. 

Pedri knows how stressful and socially awkward it can be for you and he tries his best to make sure that you’re doing alright and having fun. 

He always finds you, pressing a sweet kiss in your temple while asking into your ear if everything is fine and promising that you guys will leave as soon as he’s finished with whatever press/publicity he has to do. 

All the girls love to swoon over his actions, commenting how sweet Pedri is for always looking out for you while his teammates love to tease him about the whipped boyfriend he is. 

But in the end Pedri only cares about your well-being and as long as you’re fine, he’s happy.

"Hey, honey. Everything good around here? Give me just more 5 minutes and then we're good to go."

Gavi

Gavi has a bad temper, which is activated every time he reads all the negative comments you get online because you’re dating him.

All those nasty people that keep hitting your self-confidence, making you feel bad about yourself when in reality he’s the one who feels lucky to have you in his life. Your social media is often flooded by comments and messages telling you that you don’t deserve Gavi. 

It makes his blood boil to read them and he can’t stop himself from stalking all those accounts, blocking and reporting all of them, one by one. It’s his guilty pleasure, one that you don’t know about. 

It’s annoying and tiring to say the least, cause they always make new accounts but it’s worth it when you mention to him that occasionally the hate stops all of the sudden.

It always comes back, but he loves to retaliate against those people that are complete jerks to you and sometimes even exposes them by mentioning them in his own social media, making sure everyone knows what type of disgusting people are out there, hiding behind a screen. 

Plus, he also reports all the pervert male comments under the pictures you post ;) only this time, it’s because of jealousy. 

"Someone keeps reporting the hate accounts? Really, is that so? Wow, that's nice, right?"

João Félix

João’s life is quite busy and it’s very frustrating for him that he can’t always be there for you as much as he wants to because of all the practices, games and traveling. 

He constantly worries about something bad happening to you while he’s away and because of that, João insists on texting and calling you when he’s not around. 

He just wants to check if you got home safely, reminding you to lock the doors and windows at night, to make sure you activate the alarm system before you go to bed. 

If you don’t answer his calls or take too long texting back, he’ll get so anxious especially because he’s far away, unable to do anything in case there’s an emergency.

João will probably spam you a bit and if he’s feeling too uneasy, he might check the security cameras of the house to make sure you’re safe and sound. 

Sometimes you might get a bit annoyed at his protective side, but you never lash out on him, knowing that he gets afraid of the dangerous times we live in.

"Hey, are you okay? Okay, that's good. I just got a bit worried cause you didn't text me all day. Now that I know you're fine, I feel way better, babe."

-----

Please don't ignore me :(

[sgiandubh]

So in other words, you agree, Sam and Cait are not very good actors as exemplified by the scene being them and not Beauchamp and Fraser. On that, agreed. She might be a C actor, he's definitely a D

Dear Beauchamp and Fraser Anon,

I suspect you might be a returning one, by the way, hoping to catch me unprepared with a very cheap sophism. Check this concept on Wikipedia if you wish, but I will give you my definition: manipulated or derailed logic, i.e. formally sustainable, but in reality just a fallacy; or, if you prefer, a bunch of crap, just for the sake of it. Also, it would be wise not to try these cheap tricks on someone trained to work with words and doing so every single day: you might find no satisfaction, ultimately.

Fun fact: I don't agree with any single word you just wrote. Sam and Cait are very good and gifted actors. Both of them. They did wonders with a very inconsistent script and under barbaric public pressure. What dragged you in here, Anon? Mrs. Gabaldon's florid, even luxuriant prose? What kept you in here, Anon? Blood and sperm and rape galore? I should wish you were honest, at least for once in your life, and let your answer be 'not really'.

What I meant by that phrase was something very simple: the actors' life experience deeply informing and sublimating their performance. If you think real and creative lives are strictly separate affairs in any intellectual endeavor, then you are probably completely unfamiliar with anything remotely related to writing, singing, playing (an instrument), acting, composing or painting. All these are akin to magic and all of the above are a summoning of sorts: ask any 'content creator', you will probably get a very similar answer. In Cait and Sam's case, their real life story nurtures and elevates their acting, despite people like you.

I am not an actor myself, but a long time ago it was acting that liberated me and taught me to not be afraid of anything. I did not make a living out of it, but I will always have the tools making me able to access that very special energy, any time I should need it. So, I can only offer you an educated opinion of These Two:

C is a very, very good actress. She is classy, sophisticated and knows instinctively how to occupy a stage or a set. She worked and progressed a LOT since Season 1, when it took me a good while to warm up to her. Add to this what I think is arresting beauty. Not really a C-level, in my book.

S is a wonderfully gifted actor who, unlike C, does not have any idea of this potential and, to be honest, gives the impression to even not care about it. He singlehandedly dominated some of the most difficult moments of the series (that unwatchable Wentworth episode comes to mind). His mastery of the Stanislavski and Lecoq methods and techniques is excellent. He is likeable, personable and has an innate emotional intelligence, helping him navigate and compensate the weaknesses of (yes, I insist!) an often insufficient script. I have already written about it, with arguments, when I found some very interesting parallels between The Fiery Cross episode and Laurence Olivier's performance in Shakespeare's Henry V. I will say it again: this guy has been grossly miscast, spare for JAMMF.

Perhaps you are unfamiliar with the whole preparation and rehearsal process when producing a movie or a series or a theatre show. These people don't just learn their lines by heart and turn up for readings and rehearsals. They also read and watch a lot of things that could help them build better, more credible characters. But what makes the sometimes very subtle difference between a decent performance and a stellar one is the amount of themselves they allow inside their acting. And in this respect, I think Sam and Cait have been very lucky, in what is a very clear case of Art (instinctively) imitating Life.

I doubt this answered your question and to be honest, I don't care.

[winterrrnight]

red carpets without you

PAIRING: drew starkey x gn!reader

SUMMARY: you and drew have been dating for quite some time now, but have not brought your relationship for the public to see yet. Drew has the outer banks season 3 premiere to attend, so he goes without you. He misses you a lot at the premiere, but is completely satisfied with everything when he comes back home and gets to sleep in your arms.

WARNINGS: small mentions of cyber bullying and anxiety

EDITH SPEAKS: one of the biggest things I want to bring light on is how fans at times make their faves relationships uncomfortable. Please don't interfere with their personal lives, it's no matter to you. It's their life and they choose how to live it, and if they wish to be public about it or not. Please don't make their partners feel unloved and unwanted, the world is already a very harsh place, and that doesn't make it any better. Don't make assumptions on their relationships without any proper proof. Spread love and only love 💌🌷

navigation || join my taglist || requests

It is the evening of the Outer Banks season 3 premiere, and your boyfriend Drew is definitely going to be one of the main attractions of the event. He has been gone since early afternoon to prepare for the premiere and get ready, and you have been with him long enough to know that premieres can take a lot of time and he will be coming extremely late at night.

You and Drew have been reluctant to publicise your relationship. The thought of being recognised scares you, and even though Drew does have many supportive fans who will love you, the haters are always present around. You're afraid they will get to your head and make you believe made up stories about your relationship, ruining everything you have with Drew.

Today was one of the moments where you actually wished you could've gone with him. You absolutely adore the entire Outer Banks cast, and it would be nothing short of a spectacular night with them. Sometimes you do like to fantasize about you and Drew being public, you're in the most beautiful outfit and both of you are walking down the red carpet together, your hands intertwined. But you are quick to come back to reality when your mind shows you a scenario of you finding horrifying comments regarding you on a picture of you both, saying how you aren't the one for him and he's better off with someone else.

You remind yourself that the best place you can be at the moment is actually where you are right now: your couch, with a massive bowl of popcorn with you as you start watching the live stream of the premiere. You see all of the cast members walk in, looking beautiful as ever. You watch their interviews with utter love. They really are some of the best people.

Suddenly the cameras are directed towards Drew. He's wearing a dark blue suit, and you can't help but gape at how gorgeous he looks in that color. The fit of the suit is just perfect and he's getting his pictures clicked, his grace coming so effortlessly.

As Drew walks ahead on the carpet he's stopped by an interviewer. "Hello Drew, how are you feeling today?" The interviewer asks him.

"I'm good, super excited for everyone to see season 3," he says in the mic, smiling.

"What is Rafe like in the season? What will we get to see of him?"

"My lips are sealed for any information," he chuckles, "but he has done some... things." The interviewer laughs at his reply.

"Well Drew, is there anything you would like to say to your loved ones and your fans?"

"Thank you for all your constant support," he says, a big smile now on his face. "It makes me so happy to think how much everyone has been loving the show. Nothing is more fulfilling than watching your own hard work reaping you the big results."

At that moment, the interviewer ends his small talk with Drew and he walks on ahead on the carpet. The Twinkie is on the red carpet and watching Drew pose with it makes you giggle, as he goes inside it and looks out the window and gives a cheeky smile. The livestream goes on to show the interactions of the rest of the cast members with the interviewers and among themselves.

↶ೃ✧˚. ❃ ↷ ˊˎ-

You suddenly wake up from your nap on your couch which you hadn't realised you had started taking. It takes a few seconds for you to realise what's happening; the popcorn bowl is now empty and is lying on your carpet upturned, and the live stream has ended. You check the time on your phone to see it's nearing 1.30 am at night. You had initially thought of staying up until Drew comes home, but your sleepy mind has different plans for you. Giving in, you decide to head in to your bedroom to go to sleep.

↶ೃ✧˚. ❃ ↷ ˊˎ-

The gentle sounds of shoes being placed on the ground and the rustle of clothes wakes you up from your sleep. You open your eyes groggily and turn around in bed to see Drew's back towards you, as he is getting into comfortable clothes for the night.

"Hey bubs, you're home?" You ask gently. Drew turns around and you can visibly see the tiredness in his eyes.

"Oh, love, yeah I just came home," He walks up to you and bends down at your level. "I didn't expect you to wake up. Go back to sleep," he says, pressing a kiss to your cheek.

"No it's okay, how was it?" You ask, your eyes not fully open from the heavy sleep lying on them.

"It was really amazing. I'll tell you all about it tomorrow okay?" He gets up from the floor and disappears in the washroom. After a few minutes he comes back out, and lies in the bed next to you.

You wrap your arms around his neck and gently pull his head onto your chest. He wraps his arms around your waist, and you start to play with his hair with sleepy motions of your hands, as you both drift off to sleep.

Drew had missed you a lot on the premiere - a lot more than he thought he would. There were so many moments where he wished he was answering the interviewer's question with you on his side. Your presence calms his nerves down whenever he feels a bit anxious, and such massive premieres, especially for a show as famous as Outer Banks, tend to make him slightly nervous.

But he knows you both aren't ready to come out to the whole world. Not yet. The world can be harsh, and even the strongest soldiers fall on their faces from its adversities. What you have is something made for just the two of you, and even though at times it feels like it shouldn't be this way, you know that this is actually the best you can have. And you are completely satisfied with it.

Why wouldn't you be? Drew is yours, and you are his. And that's all that matters.

[sciderman]

Sooooo, ... If you could be in a romantic relationship with Peter or Wade, who would you choose?.

(you can pick both of them, add more people in the mixture, you can even pick all marvel universe, but I would love you to describe how do you imagine the relationship would work with each of them)

i... hough, man. i don't know if i'd like to be in a romantic relationship with either of them. i... i don't know what kind of love i'd thrive in because – well, i've never been in a long-term relationship, and i've never been in any sort of relationship where my partner resembled either of them. people ask if i write at all based on my experiences and – no, i don't. i don't think anything i've experienced has a lot to do with what i write - though, i think it's backwards. sometimes later on in the line something i write starts to manifest in reality in some way. i hope i'm able to manifest something good.

i don't know if i want what wade and peter have, specifically - their love isn't perfect - it's unhealthy - but... i don't know, i think everyone wants to have someone in their life that is fascinated by you. and that you're fascinated with them. i think that's the thing i love about wade and peter's love - they are so, so fascinated by each other. almost to a grotesque degree.

they complete each other in that sort of a way. they want what each other has. they're obsessed with each other. obsessed with unravelling the mysteries of each other, because they can make each other better. wade's obsessed with understanding peter, because peter's a better version of him. peter's someone wade admires, because he's heroic, and brave, and he overcomes. and wade's someone peter admires, because he's bold, and unafraid, and he overcomes. i think that's the thing - they admire each other because they see themselves in each other, and see each other overcoming - and, i don't know, they inspire each other, or something gay like that. they're stronger together, because they're reflections of each other, and "if he can do it, i can do it."

i'd love that – someone who makes me feel braver when i'm with them. someone who i feel so comfortable with, because they're just like me, and i can be me, and they get it, and i can be more me than i've ever been before.

you always filter yourself with other people. i... god, do i just want to be around people that make me feel comfortable. who i just – totally let loose with, and i don't have to worry about staying palatable with. i don't have to worry about being too much – i don't know, i've rarely been in a relationship where i've felt that degree of comfort. there's always been caveats. i've always had to pretend. and i – i don't know, i'm sick of pretending.

i think peter loves in a very similar way to how i do, maybe. and his failings in romance and relationships are very familiar, i think. that people see him as admirable, or heroic or cool, and it turns out that - actually, he's simple, and fallible, and not very good at keeping up. he's sappy, and kind of perpetually afraid. it's all familiar. i think i've ruined a lot of relationships by not being as confident as people wanted me to be. by not being emotionally ready - by being, actually, a bit of a loser. i think that's another thing i love about wade and peter, the way i write them - they're perpetually patient with each other. they'll wait. if they're not ready now, they will be.

gentle pressure - they always give each other gentle pressure to get past their fears. to be braver. it's okay to be afraid, but together, we'll get past it. together, we'll overcome.

i want some of that. i don't know. i have a lot of people in my life who tend to make me feel scared. make me feel more afraid. and very few people who make me feel stronger. but i did find those people eventually. it's possible. it's so, so wonderful to be around people who make you brave. i hope we all find that.

[cringelordofchaos]

craig is so fucking emotionally repressed and afraid of being vulnerable and open about his feelings and bottles them up way too much until he cant handle it and it never gets resolved i love him

he thinks he "is in control of his emotions", but in reality it seems like he's moreso blocking them out or ignoring them, or trying to rationalize the situation. (at least that's what it seems to be the case judging by the fact that's how he tried to help tweek feel better in Put It Down.) But it's literally canon that his primary weakness is communication so its definitely moredifficult for him to express his emotions unless he burts them out (like in his argument with tweek in put it down.)

love his relationship with tweek, it really forces him to confront an important part of life he is shown avoiding - emotions. and by talos it is difficult for him but he's learning.

though at the same time he's overwhelmed and overburdened, since tweek is pretty emotional and sometimes potentially clingy (due to him being naturally insecure of himself and somewhat relying on craig for encouragement), this might be perceived as a threat for craig who's practically afraid of emotions or vulnerability, and probably doesnt know how to manage them the best.

this is best shown (but not resolved) in Buddha Box where Cartman says the buddha box can help him block out anxiety or other people that may overburden him. he begins to talkabout tweek and feeling like hes always asking for his attention. so he just tries blocking everything out instead of confronting this or communicating this to tweek. its pretty interesting how they practically made it canon that he actually struggles with anxiety, despite him being the monotone, deadpan and calm one, especially when compared to tweek. im pretty disappointed they didnt resolve this by the end, but boy am i glad they showed the part of him that struggles as much as others. from what we know, craig is really not that close to many people, or much things, besides stripe, his guinea pig... so given his difficulties with communicating and accepting his feelings accompanied by the fact that he isnt and never was close to that many people, i dont blame him for finding it difficult to exactly manage his relationshiip with tweek, especially as tweek is really emotional himself. and craig does care, a lot, and does want tweek to be happy, and he tries helping him by simply being logical and coming up with solutions, rather than thinking emotionally, but sometimes that's simply not enough. and he does learn that in put it down but sort of starts struggling again in buddha box, except this time instead of learning to be emotinally vulnerable for tweek, he shuts himself off from everyone. though hopefully one day he learns to be more open, because that's pretty important in general but especially in a relationship, i think.

eurghhhh they complete each other so well. they are so different which does prove itself to be an obstacle but also is important for both of them, because they learn soo much from each other. Tweek learned how to be more confident in himself 'in a way he never has before' thanks to craig. and tweek is helping craig learn how to manage emotional relationships and life better and understand emotions in general.

Im not sure where exactly his emotional suppression comes from. It could be due to his family being more closed off. it could be due to him possibly being autistic. it could be due to both. it could be due to neither. but i love him nonetheless.

anyway sorry for small rant. the post was initially just gonna be one sentence but i felt like elaborating on what i meant. i love craig tucker soooo much. he makes me soooo happy.

[ryuichirou]

So which of the twst boys like foreplay, which ones are more of the “slam, bam, thank you ma’am” variety and of the ones who do like foreplay, how do they go about it?

Sorry for the late reply, Anon! Another very interesting question to think about lol

While I was writing it I realised that a lot of things are considered to be a foreplay… more than I expected… I guess anything is foreplay if you try hard enough. Anyways, I hope it makes sense!

Thank you for your ask.

Riddle – he would get embarrassed by foreplay if he thought about it, but in reality he has to be put in certain mood to be able to enjoy sex. Floyd does it very naturally – to him all the teasing he does is pretty much foreplay, so by the time the sex happens, Riddle is already horned up. But a classical foreplay would really make Riddle nervous and overwhelmed, he isn’t ready to have his body showered in kisses, and he isn’t ready to do anything himself yet. He’ll get more into it with time though! Because even now, he really enjoys making out…

Ace – he just wants to do a lot of stuff. He wants to make out, he wants to get his dick sucked, he wants to get a handjob, and then he wants to have sex. But it never happens to him, not only because he is kind of a douche, but also because he lives in a room with 3 people (one of them is his partner, but still). So for now, the most foreplay he could get is that sometimes he dryhumps Deuce through their clothes…

Deuce – he gets restless and nervous during foreplay, but he kind of enjoys it… he is still impatient (I think all the first years are going to be called impatient in this post lol), but he is also as greedy and hungry as Ace, so he wants this pleasant thing to last as long as it’s possible. I guess they end up doing a lot of unintentional foreplay because they don’t have time to properly indulge in each other.

Trey – it depends on whom he has sex with; if it’s just a hookup (wow Trey how indecent), he doesn’t really care for a foreplay? If you don’t count the flirting, that Trey doesn’t really do much himself, but somehow he always ends up in situations when he is being flirted with. But also! Trey does touch people’s teeth a lot, would that count as foreplay? I guess it also depends because he does it during sex. He is afraid that otherwise he’d just scare the person away lol

Cater – he loves foreplay, but the majority of his foreplay happens on his phone, even if he has a lover irl. Cater is a massive flirt, and he probably does a lot of sexting, talks dirty, exchanges pictures. He is actually very good at it and prides himself as someone who has heard that he made someone blush over the phone times and times again. He especially loves it when he sends a very nasty text and opens the door right after that to see his lover completely flustered.   

Leona – he acts like he just wants to get boned and go to sleep, but he does like foreplay, he just doesn’t want to admit it. He enjoys massages; he especially loves getting his tail bone touched and his ears scratched. He also flirts, but he doesn’t fully wants to accept the fact that whatever he does is technically flirting. Ruggie still teases him about it sometimes.

Ruggie – oh the faster the better, he isn’t here to make love, he is here to have sex and get paid! But even if this isn’t a paid deal, he has things to do and places to be, so he prefers to get down to business as soon as possible when he realises that sex is going to happen. Maybe he’ll start enjoying the foreplay more when he gets more comfortable…

Jack – in theory, he loves the idea of foreplay. In practice, he also has the first year curse of “too horny to foreplay” lol He wasn’t even planning on having sexual experiences in the first place, so for now whenever anything happens to him, it’s spontaneous and doesn’t involve much thinking. But I can see him being a foreplay guy in the future.

Azul – he is too busy and has too many things to do to actually indulge in foreplay, so if he gets so horny that it’s impossible for him not to have sex, he would do the “slam, bam, thank you ma’am” thing. He also finds the idea of quick sex arousing: 15 minutes ago he was writing contracts, 10 minutes ago he was having sex, and now he is going to have a meeting with potential sponsors. Isn’t it hot?

Jade – he is actually way more into foreplay than sex, and a quickie wouldn’t be fun to him. Where are the stakes? Where is the inner turmoil? Where are the shivers in a fidgeting body that just swallowed a dose of some weird drug and wants to get sweet relief and now has to make animal noises until Jade gets kind enough to help out? He is a simple man.

Floyd – I almost feel like I’m cheating every time I write about Floyd, but I can’t help it: he flip-flops! Again! Sometimes he just wants to scratch the itch, and in that situation he wants to have sex as quickly as possible and be done with it; sometimes he could play with his lover for hours just because he got very into it and he’s enjoying the person’s reaction. With Riddle he does a lot of both, with Epel he would have more quickies, I think. He also loves licking his lover’s body all over and bite it… I guess this is his signature foreplay, even though he does a lot of other stuff too.

Kalim – even though he is the second year, he still suffers from the first years’ curse a little bit… so sometimes he thinks he would make out with his lover for hours, but gets too horny after like 10 minutes or so lol But he loves foreplay! He loves undressing his partner, kissing him everywhere, touching inappropriately, he loves watching him (let’s be honest it’s mostly Jamil lol) dance. In contrast to what I just said, sometimes he postpones the intercourse as much as he can because he wants this rising feeling of arousal and this beauty before his eyes to last longer.

Jamil – he absolutely hates it when Kalim takes his sweet-ass time, so he always tries to get him to a point when he can’t take it anymore and wants to have sex already. If it was Jamil’s perfect world, sex wouldn’t take more than 2 minutes or so. Or even better, he would just give Kalim a handjob and go do his own thing. But this is mostly because of how stressed he usually is, maybe Kalim is right and he should allow himself to relax… even though relaxing would make him even more anxious and stressed…

Vil – in theory, if he doesn’t have time to have sex properly without rushing it, he just doesn’t do it. In theory. In practice, he is no stranger to “just be quick, okay?”, even though in Vil’s head this is something that he should have left in his past. His first year was insane in terms of spontaneous quick sex, and nowadays he wants to either get a good massage or make out while slowly undressing each other or give his lover a good long-lasting blowjob, or even do a proper roleplay session… but the fact that this is what Vil wants doesn’t mean that this is what Vil does. He also loves dirty talk a lot, so there’s that…

Rook – while he practices a wide spectrum of types of foreplay, the ones that could be associated with him the most are massage/body-worship/flirt and chasing a person in a fucking forest lol Of course he doesn’t practice it a second time all that often, but he genuinely considers this to be a proper foreplay. Does it get him aroused? Extremely. Does it make him even more into his partner and want to have sex with him as soon as possible? Absolutely. In general, Rook wants every sexual experience to be an event. But he does have quick sex a lot, too…

Epel – he wants to be the best at foreplay and sometimes tries too hard with flirting, with touching, with seduction, with everything. He doesn’t do it all the time though because he is super impatient and too focused on the goal… If someone else is taking lead, he is even more impatient and restless. He probably asked not to tease him with a sweet whiny voice at least once before. He doesn’t want to get slowly undressed and kissed everywhere, he wants to have sex already!

Idia – he thinks that he doesn’t like foreplay, and in general he would prefer to not have sex in general because it’s embarrassing, but if he absolutely has to, he’d rather have it be quick and be done with it asap. But he responds very well to some types of foreplay, he just doesn’t realise that it’s foreplay… In Idia’s head he and his partner were just having a heated argument about some nonsense, but little did he know… As long as it’s indirect and not obvious. He doesn’t like obvious stuff…

Ortho – he loves foreplay! Mostly because of how various it could be. Based on all the movies and anime he’d consumed, he compiled a list, and he is going through it, trying out everything and seeing which ones works best in real life. He loves talking dirty because Idia never expects him to hear such words from him and gets nervous instantly… but he would also do massages, indirect stimulation through clothes, making out. Sometimes he does something more kinky, like spanking… he also gets way too into spontaneous roleplay.

Lilia – he used to be very straightforward and quick, but he’s been enjoying foreplay more lately. Even though when he was younger he kind of disliked spending more time on it than necessary and thought it was pointless… Nowadays he loves teasing with both his dirty talk and touches, he edges, he plays around. Sometimes he pounces and starts tickling and playfully fighting. He has a lot of domsub-y stuff... Sometimes he tries things just to see if he likes it, so he did pretty much everything at least once. He really loves it when his bottom is teary-eyed, overstimulated and ready to pass out by the time he decides it’s time to actually have sex.

Silver – he is kind of used to both, so whatever the situation dictates. He is very dependent on his potential partner’s mood and desires… But his go-to is to do direct stimulation either by his mouth or his butt right away because this is what they tend to like more. While Silver would’ve loved to kiss, cuddle and touch each other, he is very afraid that he’d fall asleep during the foreplay…

Sebek – he is very hotheaded, so he doesn’t even think about foreplay; he is very likely to jump straight to sex because by the time it happens, he is already so horned up he could burst… Maybe he’ll get better with time, especially if he starts to have sex with Malleus – there is no way his lover could get away with not being able to provide a solid foreplay.

Malleus – oh he prefers his lovemaking sessions to be as long as possible. He loves it when things get heated even before he and his partner are all alone, he loves teasing and getting teased… but at the same time, he gets impatient, so I guess foreplay doesn’t take too long with him either. But if you count flirting, suggestive gestures, seduction and dancing as foreplay, then he takes his sweet time with it. He also loves undressing for his partner or watching him undress.

[starwell-tarot]

What are stans of different Ateez members like? A tarot reading ✨

Hello peeps and atinys; I had this idea cross my mind one day, hmm I wonder what fans of a specific idol would be like. Would they take after the idol or be completely different?

I thought it would be a very interesting social experiment to do so I chose Ateez!

I asked three questions per member:

1. What are stans of (member) like in general?

2. What do stans of (member) have in common with each other?

3. What about (member)'s personally attracts his stans to stan him?

From what I've seen, i think they have a chance to at least a little bit accurate 😂 You guys will be the judges! Let me know who you stan and if it is accurate for you or not! It is an experiment after all, let's discuss and get to know each other better! 🖤

Disclaimer: This is for fun purposes only and should be treated as such. Tarot can absolutely be wrong.

TW: mentions of anxiety and insecurities

Hongjoong stans: The rebels

How are Hongjoong stans like (in general) // the high priestess, the emperor R, VI of wands

Hongjoong stans are people who want to carry themselves in the world with pride. They want to showcase/ achieve confidence in who they are and also inspire others to do the same. Their power comes from within, from their self knowledge, from the fact that they know that things in the world cannot stop them from being themselves and living their own truth. They want to be the complete leaders of their own lives and not be afraid to speak up or stand out in a crowd.

What do Hongjoong stans have in common? // II of wands R

Hongjoong stans want to carve out their own path in life. They don't want to follow the norms or give in to what others want out of them when it comes to their life path.

What about Hongjoong's personality attracts Hongjoong stans? // Wheel of fortune, page of wands

Hongjoong stans love how he appears to be so fearless, so unafraid of failure, setbacks, opposition or hardship. One could say Hongjoong 'makes his own luck' with the way he shapes his reality to make the best out of it no matter what happens. All cycles in life can be reformed, rules can be rewritten, perspectives can be changed. Hongjoong strives to reform all those cycles and make this world a better place, and Hongjoong stans are highly thankful of that and want to follow in his lead and do the same.

Hongjoong stans might have prominent fire placements (Aries, Leo, Sagittarius) in their natal chart.

Seonghwa stans: Energetic angels

Also known as the ones who gave me way too many cards

How are Seonghwa stans like (in general) // The Star R

Seonghwa stans are gentle and pure beings. They are optimistic despite the circumstances in society or the hurt they've felt before, and believe in a better world yet to come. Their hopeful persona makes them shine out between their peers as having an almost healing-aura. They can be quite quirky and definitely love helping out people.

What do Seonghwa stans have in common? // VIII of Wands, Knight of Wands

Seonghwa stans are very determined and passionate people. They tend to get really fired up and excited over their likings and tasks, and put a lot of drive into whatever they do. Sometimes they can become quite hyperfocused, even. They might also have a tendency to make impulsive decisions and make it their mission to learn self control throughout their lives.

What about Seonghwa's personality attracts Seonghwa stans? // Death R, King of Pentacles R, III of Swords R

Seonghwa reminds his stans that every single new day is a new beginning. And that new day, can always be turned around to something positive, wether it is a productive day or a day of healing. I get the message that Seonghwa heals people's inner child, actually. His balance of being a responsible, productive adult and a pure hearted boy who loves his Lego and friends, it makes people feel reassured. You can be both, you don't need to kill off parts of yourself to be proper or successful. The inner child is scared they will always be stressed and tired - but Seonghwa reassures them it doesn't have to be that way, he takes them gently by the hand and allows them to play around and get excited again.

I'm not crying you're crying, wHat

Seonghwa stans might have very balanced natal charts in terms of the distribution of the 4 elements, but there is definitely clear mention of Aquarius, Scorpio, Aries, Sagittarius and Leo.

Yunho stans: The ones with tense shoulders

How are Yunho stans like (in general) // The high priestess R

Yunho stans may have a very developed intuition, and they're observant and wise. Their intelligence guides them well in life, and they might also be very introspective, knowing themselves well and being in touch or aware of their thoughts/feelings. That  makes them very grounded and self sufficient, their power comes from within and the connection they have with themselves. They might also have an interest towards mysteries, the occult or spirituality, perhaps they're psychics or witches.

What do Yunho stans have in common? // Knight of pentacles R

Yunho stans are diligent, cautious and responsible. They're the types to really think things through before saying/doing anything, weighting their options carefully so that they don't end up in risky or detrimental situations. However, sometimes when weighting options they discover none of them are actually satisfactory for them, so they often look for loopholes, therefore making them a bit rebellious too even if it looks like they always play by the rules. Also might be prone to procrastination, missing the initial push of going through with something because their minds are racing to find the perfect way to do something.

What about Yunho's personality attracts Yunho stans? // X of pentacles & king of pentacles

They admire Yunho's ability to look spontane and carefree. Perhaps he isn't fully like that on the inside, but on the outside Yunho looks to be such a loving, optimistic person who can be content with life. He gives off the vibe that everything and anything can be handled when the time arises and that there's always a way for things to be okay. That is very comforting to Yunho stans, who might struggle with going with the flow or letting things be out of their control.

Yunho stans might have prominent earth placements in their natal charts (Taurus, Virgo, Capricorn).

I'm a Yunho stan and this is hella accurate for me

Yeosang stans: the truth seekers

What are Yeosang stans like (in general) // The Tower R

Yeosang stans are honest and straightforward with their expression. If they don't like something, they express it. Likely to be opinionated (in a good way) and go getters. They are driven and motivated, and even if they might not realize it, very tough and resilient. Even if they are afraid of facing failure, they still persue their goals and desires with genuinity.

What do Yeosang stans have in common? // Ace of Swords R

Yeosang stans might feel confused or anxious very often. They have many ideas, and like I mentioned previously they have a fear of failure and it's making them insecure about the best way to approach things. Both skeptical and curious, Yeosang stans question everything all the time - their own morals, beliefs, society's as well. Finding the answers to all these questions tends to overwhelm them and make them overthink, or stop them from even making a decision at all.

What about Yeosang's personality attracts Yeosang stans? //  IX of Cups

They love how he isn't afraid to voice out his dissatisfaction. Yeosang is known to be quite the truth spitting Queen, and Yeosang stans absolutely adore that. They love his humour and the way he knows his own worth. They probably find him very like-minded to themselves.

Yeosang stans might have prominent Scorpio, Gemini, Aquarius, Libra and Pisces in their natal chart.

San stans: the emotion swimmers

What are San stans like (in general) // IX of Cups R, X of Pentacles

San stans are very emotional beings by nature. They don't care much about material things and probably all the things they do is for the better of their family. (That could also be friends or lovers of course, people close enough to consider your family.) They probably also prefer the indoors and conferable spaces and people. They tend to have a pretty thick protective bubble around themselves and might not open up easily to people. Afraid to get hurt, they want to protect their emotional welfare at all costs.

What do San stans have in common? // The hanged Man

San stans are probably very anxious about the way they are seen by others, and/or have a bad vision of themselves. They've often felt out of place or different in their lives and that has made them very self judgemental or self-condescending.

What about San's personality attracts San stans? // Ace of Cups R

They love how San is an endless overflowing fountain of love. Wether he's offering love outward to his family, friends or fans, or he's offering love to himself through self-love, San is always so loving. He's so comfortable with the feeling and so unafraid of it, it baffles San stans. Love is San's biggest strength, and San stans often need some of that strength. There's a mutual exchange of love and strength and hearts beat a bit happier.

Wow I'm corny

San stans might have predominant water placements (Scorpio, Cancer, Pisces) in their natal charts.

Mingi stans: the badasses

What are Mingi stans like (in general) // Queen of Swords

Mingi stans are quite tough and resilient people. They are fighters, not afraid to get their hands dirty. Independent and self-reliant, they constantly search for more wisdom to help them out in life, too. In some cases, they can even be grumpy cats, but for the most part I would call them realists.

What do Mingi stans have in common? // Knight of Cups

Mingi stans chase after real feelings and real connections. Their feelings and thoughts run very deep and they can't stand being shallow about anything. Due to their intelligence and devotion, their dreams are never too far away. They follow their heart with grace and know how to make decisions that will lead them to live a fulfilling life. They're romantic and charming.

oMg sexy beasts hello

What about Mingi's personality attracts Mingi stans? // The Hanged Man R, IX of Pentacles R, Queen of Pentacles R

Mingi stans appreciate how different Mingi is. He's unique in their eyes, and they love listening to the views he has about the world. It feels eye opening to them. Mingi also just .. melts their hearts. Perhaps Mingi stans usually strive to be in control, tough and pokerface, but they can't do that when it comes to Mingi. Their hearts go badum and they get heart eyes. He warms them up on any cold day.  They want to protect him at all costs and shower him with affection. 

Mingi stans might have a pretty balanced natal chart of air, water and earth.

Wooyoung stans: the loving wild cats

How are Wooyoung stans like (in general) // Judgement

Wooyoung stans are open minded philosophers and fearless explorers. They view life kinda like a journey, of ups and downs which can teach you many important lessons. They could probably write a novel of all the important life lessons they've lived that they keep close to their mind. And they're always open for more, more experiences, more knowledge and adventure. They are also likely to be oriented towards social justice, and be very keen on enforcing good morals and getting rid of closed-mindedness in the world.

What do Wooyoung stans have in common? // King of cups

Wether they are introverted or extroverted, Wooyoung stans actually love spending time with people. If they're not popular and with a lively group of friends, they surely have those few people they love to the moon and back and wouldn't mind spending all day with. Wooyoung stans know how to gracefully receive the gifts of love given to them by their community or close circle, and they're friendly and empathic too, in return. But sometimes, they might wear their heart on their sleeve without realizing.

What about Wooyoung's personality attracts Wooyoung stans? // Strength R

They love his wild and untamed nature. They love how he isn't afraid to show off his true colors all the time. The raw honesty of his personality, wether it's something socially accepted or something seen as weird, is very attractive to Wooyoung stans. They admire it and probably aspire to have such courage of expression, too.

Wooyoung stans might have prominent Scorpio, Pisces, Cancer or Leo in their natal chart.

Jongho stans: The champions

How are Jongho stans like (in general) // Knight of Sowrds R

Jongho stans are absolute warriors. They are headstrong and courageous, their intelligence aiding them greatly in powering through any obstacle and overcoming any challenge. They are oriented towards fighting for justice and love spreading words of encouragement to their peers.

What do Jongho stans have in common? // IX of Pentacles R, Queen of Wands

Jongho stans are honest and genuine. Despite their strong will and courage, they are not reckless or chaotic, they are actually quite calm and down to earth. But they do know when you fire up, and stand their ground. Their confidence and fierceness makes them very charismatic in the eyes of many.

What about Jongho's personality attracts Jongho stans? // II of Pentacles R

They appreciate how Jongho picks his own fights. He puts upmost priority of what and whom is important to him, and zones in on that. He's always concerned with being the best at what he does, (aka in his preferred domain) he doesn't try to be the best at things that don't concern him. He sets his priorities tight. Plus, Jongho stans find him very motivating and empowering. He puts fuel on their fire, puts gas in their tank. To them, he's living proof that nothing is impossible if you have the drive to do it.

Jongho stans have predominant air and fire placements in their natal charts.

I thought this to be so interesting. For most, it turned out the stans were really similar to the idol, but then Mingi and Yunho... LMAO. It's cool there's some ying yang energy in there too!

Thank you for reading and let's discuss!

[mikaikaika]

Hello I've seen you around the QSMP spaces a lot, but I'm curious!! Do you have any cool headcanons you wanna share?

Hey anon! Thanks for the question and sorry if it took me a while I was recollecting my thoughts. I don't have any set hcs but a few thought sparced around here and there so here they are. They are mostly about the eggs but some people found their way in

Tallulah has all of Wilbur's letters memorised and she repeats them when she finds herself in danger. However sometimes Chayanne hears her muttering in her sleep and if he pays attention he can hear the repeat of Wilbur's words.

Richarlyson does not like to take baths due to his parenthood side that comes from Catboy Cellbit

Flippa and Tilin were very clumsy and often got injured so they had a bet going on with each other about who can convincingly tell their parent the most batshit crazy getting injured story without worrying them too much. Their record was never broken despite their exaggerated shenanigans

Missa was the better chef of the house who used to make diverse meals. Seeing him Chayanne took up cooking because he wanted to help after he saw how exhausted Phil was while taking care of two kids. It now helps him make proper use of all the potatoes and now he has one more skill he can use to provide for his loved ones incase they are stuck in danger

Not mine but someone had a hc that Antoine is an alien due to his moon and the tomska sketch he was a part of. I just wanna add to it that that is the reason his mc skin is layered with an outer layer. So it is him trying to imitate huamans and trying to fit in. That's the reason he has like three faces cause he wanted to fit in by doing his best attempts possible

Since Phil said they shop at hot topic cause they're a emo family, I think Tallulah hates it, so as a little sign of rebellion she keeps choosing tshirts with the most ridiculous captions to take home like one that says "crazy plant lady" with weed on it but Tallulah insists it represents her venues or anything over the top pink that she can find there like I'm talking mable pines level fluffy

Dapper is really good at doing rubix cubes and loves them but Ramon absolutely hates due to how engrossed Dapper got when he was learning it

As Chayanne grows up he end up outgrowing his duck floatie. So he ,with the help of Ramon and dapper, devises a belt with a duck belt buckle on it that can turn into a floatie anytime it is required. It comes in handy more often than you think.

Baghera is deathly afraid of snakes cause she's a duck

Cellbit's family are his anchor anytime his past comes haunting him back. He often gets nightmares that wake him up but all it takes is him seeing the picture of Richarlyson with he Favela Five or turning to his side and seeing the face of his sleeping husband and with one squeeze of his hand - Cellbit comes grounded back to reality and peacefulness.

When he's outside and people are accusing him of being a traitor or when things get too rough, you would often find Cellbit toying with his ring. It serves him as a reminder that his past is behind him and now he's in a better place and no matter what he would always have someone looking out and waiting for him - something he has never had before

The dragon colours that the eggs would be turned into coincides with the signs they use. Flippa's would be green similar to what gegg uses, Bobby's was brownish since he used normal signs, Tilin's would be slight orange as hers was red but she passed hers down to Pomme and Trump is light blue since his was blue but he passed it down to Richarlyson as Richas is more socially "loud" than he is

If Tilin and Juanaflippa were still here, their name together with Tallulah would have been TFT trio

Pac paints his nail but it's always chipped due to him working with Mike but you would never see it completely gone and no one knows how/when Pac reapplies and redamages it

Also I love this hc that all the partners of the people on the server are some kind of godly entity with specific powers that tie into the story

[fanmoose12]

Won't Hange develop like a PSTD from fire

Promote: post war levihan × this

Hange is scared of fire.

Levi knows it. Understands it. He'd too be afraid of it had he been what Hange had been through. And he tries to help them with it - in what little ways he can.

He makes sure he's always the one who lights the fireplace in their cabin. Makes food for the two of them, because Hange can oftentimes be clumsy, and he doesn't want for them to accidentally burn the skin that was already burnt so terribly. He sits Hange down every evening and rubs soothing balms onto every inch of them that has been injured.

But sometimes - way too often to Levi's liking - all this help, all his well-meant attempts are still not enough.

Sometimes, Hange screams in their sleep, tosses and turns as though they try to extinguish the non-existent fire. Sometimes they wake up, cling onto him, and whisper, "It hurts, Levi, it hurts so much," with tears streaming down their face. Sometimes they drag him out on a walk or sit down to read a book, and all of a sudden, their face pales and hands begin to tremble, and they bite their lip to keep from crying out, as unwanted memories worm their way into their recently acquired peaceful life.

Hange never talks to him about it, never explains what is it that they see in their dreams or during those short moments when they seem to lose connection to reality. When asked - by curious Gabi or clueless Falco - Hange becomes snappy, and sometimes - downright mean. They refuse to ever breach that subject, not that Levi actually urges them to do that. It certainly doesn't seem healthy, or in any way beneficial to Hange's recovery; people need to talk about that kind of stuff, they shouldn't bottle all of their emotions and turn to simple avoidance. Levi knows that.

But he can't exactly judge them fot that. It'd come as nothing short of condescending and, worst of all, hypocritical. After all, he prefers his traumas to be buried too.

But since he can't talk it out with Hange, he doesn't really know what else to do, how to help them overcome it. He's not even sure that they actually can. How can one simply forget and move on from a trauma so horrific?

But it doesn't stop Levi from trying. He asks Onyankopon about this once, but his 'time heals all wounds' isn't all that helpful. If Levi's life has taught him anything, it’s that time at best mends the wounds, but doesn't close them completely.

Something more is usually required.

He searches for it, but without much success. He goes to the library, shifts through a dozen books, but doesn't find anything more useful than Onyankopon's bit of wisdom.

So, he resolves to help however he is able to. He tries to distract Hange - with books he brings from the library and a little garden that he organised with the sole purpose of cheering them up. He holds them in his arms after they suffer through another nightmare. Tries to find some soothing words, often borrowing them from the books he read, and finds that, miraculously, they work, although not in the way that the smart people who wrote them probably intended. Hange usually scoffs at his attempts, and on the nights when he gets especially lucky - they crack a smile or even chuckle at him. He always feels a bit stupid afterwards, but Hange relaxes in his embrace, and sometimes the end definitely justify the means.

Besides, he knows that, honestly, he's not faring that much better. Maybe not in the same way, but he's just as broken as Hange is. He's not the man he was before. Most days, he can't even get out of the bed on his own, and most evenings greet him with a terrible ache in his legs that sometimes becomes too excruciating to bear.

He knows that he often gets too angry and for no good reason too. And there are days when he feels helpless, useless, nothing more than a nuisance to Hange, and he doesn't want to do a thing, just lay in bed, staring at the wall and reliving all the good times that he didn't at all appreciate before, until Hange finds him and forces him to eat and take a bath. He's no stranger to nightmares too, although where Hange's make them relive the worst moments of their life, Levi is condemned to the ones of his best. The ghosts of comrades and friends invade his dreams and make that ache inside that much acuter, that much harder to bear.

He got his happy ending, he survived, but they did not. And he knows that this guilt he will carry with him forever.

But not all of it is bad. There is not a thing Levi regrettes.

What are nightmares if you wake up in the arms of the person you love most? What are petty arguments and rare screaming matches, when a simple 'sorry' and a kiss can evaporate all anger? What is pain, if you have someone, who will soothe your wounds with gentle hands and reverent kisses? What are the terrible hardships and heartbreaks of the past, if the future appears to be brighter and more hopeful than you could ever imagine?

Why does all of it matter, if you wake up to the sight of your most favorite person in the world, if your days are filled with their laughter and their hand fits right into yours?

How you can hate a life that's already given you so much more than you deserved?

[justsomeoneintoomanyfandoms]

Hello! Hello! Can I have a Bungo Stray Dogs, MHA ans Haikyuu matchup?

Here is my information!

Name: Anna Lee

Pronouns: She/her

Preference: Male

Age range: Any

Personality: I am an INTJ Slytherclaw, Aquarius and a Type 6 when it comes to anagrams. Lawfully Neutral. I am a huge overthinker and stress a lot with anxiety. People tell me that I can be blunt which results in people thinking that I can be cold but in reality I try to be a kind person when it is needed. I am a realist and many consider me to be intelligent, often asking me to help with their work. I’m incredibly passionate about things I like to do and have a thirst to know everyone’s opinions as I feel that if someone is left out. I’m a creative person but sometimes my brain just goes blank, I hate when it does. I have a really dry sense of humour that usually is a mix of sarcasm, fandom jokes or self degrading jokes. I'm an extremely stubborn person and have to be right about everything. From a young age, my parents were extremely strict and had expected the best out of me which resulted in me being an overachiever. I have to get things perfect or be the best at what I’m doing. I'm really sensitive, even some small harsh words are enough to make me teary. I’ve been called a crybaby because of that and to be honest, that is true. I give too much to other people since I’m afraid of saying no since what if they hate me? And I'm too scared to ask for help or to have something cause I think they will think I'm selfish and worthless. Not the best self esteem 😔 I love to listen to other people since I think not a lot of people have others that they can tell what they wish to say without getting judged or outcasted. But the problem is that I judge too easily too. As much as I want to show a good image to others and help them, I tend to focus on my own needs and how everything can affect me for the better or worse. I hate repeating things, especially in front of a big crowd. I daydream too much. When I get excited, I speak really quickly and stumble over my words which I get embarrassed by and stop talking. I am very sensitive, especially when it comes to my appearance and personality. I’m always afraid that people are constantly judging me or hate me, which is why I tend to avoid public spaces or being around people in general. When I get familiar with someone or a crowd, I’m not that afraid to state my opinion. I get jealous and possessive easily, like I mentioned my parents are strict meaning I got very few things of my own and those things only came to me because I tried so hard to get it. So when I see someone else with it, it just irks me off. I always make plans but I know I’m not going to complete them, I just like to imagine the future if I actually had motivation and energy to accomplish things. I can never start new things while completing old ones. I am also the oldest child and have 4 younger ones, another reason why I stress too much. I don’t think I mentioned this, but I get angry really easily. The slightest mistakes just pisses me off. I suck at short talks and starting conversations, it’s much easier to have lengthier conversations. I can never do presentations, I always get too nervous. Plus, my friends say my voice is really soft so no one ever hears me much, especially since I’m uncomfortable. When I get angry, my judgement is clouded. I am terrible at holding grudges. I would be upset at someone but the second I see them again, I feel normal and happy in a way. Probably said this before, but I’m a huge day dreamer and stubborn. I can’t concentrate on my work because I always get distracted and daydream about things I will never have. I normally appear composed but have a fiery temper. I really want to be a lawyer. My parents never let me use the internet much as a kid so I pretty much live under a rock but I am incredibly book smart. 

Looks: Half-Korean and Half- White. I’m slightly chubby and curvy with a pear-shaped body (Double D cups). Upon seeing me, many people point out my eyes which are hazel with slight flecks of many colours such as green and amber being the prominent ones. Almond eyes that are doe-like and slightly turn up at the end but barely noticeable. I have a button nose and thin heart shaped lips. My face is round and my eye shape is almond. I am approximately 5’3. Two small moles are fixated on my right cheek and underneath my lip. Long dark brown hair that almost appears black but that solely depends on the lighting. My hair reaches my hips and is kinda wispy at the end. It’s usually on a ponytail with a few strands framing my face. My clothing style tends to be anything comfortable and classy. I prefer to wear black and colours that are darker, you will never find me wearing orange or neon colours. 

Likes: Chocolate, Anime, Music, Food, Being right about something, Reading, Drawing, Strawberries, Smell of Rain, Sleeping, Being the Best, Baking and cooking (even tho I’m not that good at it)  Daydreaming, Murder Mysteries, Romance, Long walks, Making Ocs,  Fiction, Name hunting, Suits, Me, Pinterest, Spicy food, Sweets, Lavender and Indicolite, Aesthetics, and Flower Languages.

Dislike: Loud noises, Jerks, Prejudice People, Slow Walkers, People who chew loudly, Getting look down on, Insects, Studying, Fake People, Self-pity, Getting below 90% in a test, Snow, Overlysweet things, Going outside, and the feeling where your brain is blank and can’t tell what you feel like, Doing nothing all day and Tomatoes

Love Language: Physical Touch and Quality Time

Ideal Type: Pretty Eyes. Will always be there for me and not afraid to speak their mind. Honest and loyal. Someone I can call her best friend, I can be weird around them and they won’t mind at all,Yet they would still help me see the light at the end of the tunnel and tell me it’s okay, that everything is gonna be okay. I wouldn’t like ‘innocent’ people nor ‘kind’ people cause I feel like I won’t be able to connect with them based on my morality level. Will be attentive to my needs. Not necessarily loud but not quite, somewhere in between. I want someone who I can feel okay around, as if everything was fine. Someone who would help carry a burden with me, we are together in everything. A type of person who would wait for me when I’m tying my shoelaces. 

Hi Anna! Thank you for your request! Sorry it took so long. I hope you like your matchups!

In Bungo Stray Dogs, I match you with...

Someone attentive, helpful, and who speaks their mind no matter what? Yep, that’s Kunikida in a nutshell.

He admires your intelligence, your tendency to overthink and your bluntness. It’s a nice change of pace since he's surrounded by…well, the Armed Detective Agency. No more needs to be said.

Loves reading murder mysteries with you. Sure, Kunikida works solving real life mysteries but it's nice being able to work through a problem without the stakes being real world life or death.

There's no need to worry about having nothing to do with him around. He's always busy either with work or personal things and is more than happy for you to tag along and help out.

Kunikida likes going on long walks with you when he has the time. They might get cut short sometimes due to his busy schedule but he'll always do his best to make time for you.

In My Hero Academia, I match you with...

Someone honest, not all that kind, but willing to be there for you when you need him? Yeah, that’s Bakugo all right.

Yes! You hold those grudges! Bakugo's right there with you. I definitely see him as the type of person to listen to you talk about someone and immediately start holding a grudge against them as well.

You're both very competitive and this can sometimes lead to conflict. But if you and Bakugo are able to see it as someone pushing you to be the best version of yourself, you'll be okay.

He's probably one of the realest people you will ever meet so there's no need to worry about him ever seeming fake. On the other hand, he also hates fake people so you can join forces to take them down together.

There's no way Bakugo doesn't like spicy food so a lot of dinner dates will definitely revolve around going to places that serve spicy stuff. He does make it into a competition though so be warned.

In Haikyuu, I match you with...

Someone with pretty eyes, super loyal, and who’s not afraid to be a bit weird around you? Kuroo is all about that.

Appreciates your ability to do things by yourself but does worry about you sometimes when you don’t ask for help. Just know that he’s there if you ever need him.

Food buddies! I see Kuroo as someone who enjoys good tasting food. He doesn’t really have a preference between savoury or sweet and he can handle spice, so wherever you want to go, he's happy.

There are a lot of unavoidable loud noises in volleyball so if you're not comfortable going to practise or competition matches, he completely understands. He's not going to force you to do anything you don't want to. That being said, if you do go to his matches, he'll be delighted.

Loves when you talk quickly because you're passionate about something. Since you're often more on the anxious self-doubting side, it's nice to see you let go of your inhibitions for once.

[prettynalilmagic]

ℙ𝕚𝕔𝕜 𝕒 ℂ𝕒𝕣𝕕: 𝕊𝕙𝕒𝕕𝕠𝕨 𝕎𝕠𝕣𝕜

I believe me and everyone else should be focused on shadow work, because it's a new year and I know shadow work doesn't sound fun but in my opinion its more fulfilling than love readings because there's already so much of those on any tarot platform/community.

Pick a Pile from 1-2-3-4

Pile one

Bride in a Cage

With the deck I use for the overall tone of the reading an oracle deck by Laura Sava and its overall meant is to be used for shadow work. And each card has a moon phase attached to each card, the phase attached to your card is Denial. So that's the first thing I noted and the card itself is based on how situation and environment being fulfilled by materials that wont in the long run fix or solve any issues. You can buy certain items that will fill something that is unpleasant till you die and still be unsatisfied with where you are in life. It's a cycle, there's something deep down you don't want to accept weather you know it or not, sometimes we have issues that we cannot see, and that's the sole purpose of therapy and shadow work. There's no shame here, everyone at some point uses something to avoid reality that we find unsatisfying. Now I pulled some more cards from a different deck to support and get more information on what spirt really wants to call out. And overall, I see a lot of personal belief that sometimes it better to see the positive or more so focus on what you can do to walk away from the bad things you are faced with. I think this is something that you learned from a young age where you were shamed by reacting to the negativity that happened. That being any sort of sadness or anger. Yes, being happy and not sad or mad, sounds good at first but that completely neglects the reality of hardships. Your smart about how you react to life, and you understand where when something bad happens, you can avoid being in that victim mode by ignoring whatever that is upsetting. The great thing about life is that life is not black and white. There's a lot of good things that will come your way but in order for you feel fulfilled and appreciative of those things, you have to accept all the bad stuff as well. It's not something that something to avoid. I am getting strongly that pile one is afraid of being pessimistic and that they will do anything to show themselves or others that they are filled with love and good and nothing else, but your human. To be human means to be unperfect. You think strongly that the way you think shapes your reality and yes that is true but there's only so much that can achieve until you have to face truth. Some things can't be fixed with positive thinking and manifestation. Unfortunately, life isn't some LaLa world like that, don't get me wrong, I'm not shitting on positive people, but there is a such thing as toxic positivity. You're stopping your own growth by looking at life through rose-colored glasses. Your shadow wants you to accept being a victim at times and being someone who can be pushed down by something. Understanding where you got hurt is how a real breakthrough can happen, you're not allowing the cycle of acceptance to come through as beautiful as it can.

Pile 2

Sacrifice

Pile two, your shadow wants you to acknowledge that you are suffering for the well-being of something else. And your moon phase is associated with anger, which tells me that while you are acknowledging the suffering you are being subjected to tells me you aren't happy or pleased with it. Kinda like it's an "Oh well what can I do about it, it fucking sucks but it is what it is." That type of vibe. I'm not just pulling an oracle card I am pulling from a separate deck and what I can see that you have basically given up yet there's still this sense of hope that things will change and that whatever situation happened or is happening is making you feel like you have to wait and just continue to be sacrificed till you can leave and move onto better circumstances. But there's also a sense of given up hope it's kind of up and down energy. I had to pull a second shadow card because the energy was little too confusing and I needed more to back up to why the cards were popping up with somewhat different messages, and I got Temple of my body and its essentially telling me that people/situations have/are doing stuff to your body. Something has been making you feel like you cannot win, there's always going to be something that is disrespectful to your own wants and needs in order for them to obtain the power and wants that they desire. This can be anything from school, money, family, love or work. It can be one or multiple things at once or at different points in your life. And it's very overbearing for yourself. It's too many hardships, feeling like you're never going to be able to fulfill something else outside of yourself. That must be so challenging, and you must feel like you have to be as strong as you can be and that you might not be able to. I'm getting maybe you think you're forced to suffer until your old enough to run away from whatever it is that you're sacrificing yourself to. Your shadow wants to advise you that in order to overcome the sacrifices, you need be able to see you don't have to be a worm left out for the birds. You're not a sacrifice, yes it feels like you have to keep doing stuff to just exist whilst still feeling like whatever you do is never enough but learn to structure yourself. How can you slowly overcome this feeling? What I need to do to overcome this feeling? Why am I so depressed and angry about it? Truly dive deep into yourself, because wither or not you are truly stuck, which you most likely are, it won't always be that way. Acknowledge your pain, struggles and see what you can do to overcome it, not avoid it. Or dwell in it. Just understanding what you are able to do silently will give you at least some form of control and I can see that there's clearly very little control you have with where you are in life. What are things that make you feel in control? What makes you feel not in control? Can you overcome it? If not, what can you do besides just see that? You can find little ways to feel a sense of control and relief from just reflecting and doing small things to fulfill your needs in tiny ways. If you need to escape or walk away from something in the future, plan and make goals on what needs to be done in order to be prepared for when that can become your new beginning.

Pile 3

Alone In the world

The phase attached to your card is Acceptance. There's been months, weeks, days, hours, and seconds that you have waited for something. Weather its love from friends, family or a significant other, you have been on edge waiting for some reassurance and presence of hope for love. And nothing really has fulfilled you. Maybe someone did come by, but it wasn't what you thought it would be or maybe no one ever will be able to fulfill you to the extent you have believed you needed. Now your shadow self is saying it hasn't happened, will it happen for you ever? If it does will it be the same as what you have longed for? There's a concerning lack of separation of satisfaction and love, those are two separate things that should not be used to mean the same thing. With love does not fulfill satisfaction. You do not need to be in love or loved to be satisfied, why have you allowed yourself to feel controlled by the presence of love. You should not allow yourself to be bitter, spiteful of life or yourself, you have to learn to see yourself as the one thing that is enough. A person will never be something to fulfill you unless its yourself. You're turning yourself into a victim of loneliness because you're attaching too much value onto someone who isn't you. Do you know yourself enough? Do you think you aren't enough to feel fulfilled on just yourself? If so, why? Why do you not see how easy it is for you to love yourself. You already have the desires and wants you could get from someone else? If you don't have those desires and needs that you seek from others, how come it's not possible for you? Do you only seek that in others because you are uncomfortable with you lacking something? You shouldn't be afraid to know yourself or be afraid that you think you're not enough. Being in a relationship before fulfilling your own self-worth is not as great as it sounds, personally I'm in a relationship but I will accidentally ruin moments that can be good because of my own fear of myself and how unfulfilled I feel with how much I love myself and I'm not even the type of person who struggles with always feeling to need to be loved to be happy. If the situation arises that you stumble into a relationship or situationship that's fine but understand that you should love yourself before allowing someone else to fill in that worth. Prince charming may never come and if that is something that is too upsetting, there's some work that needs to be done to begin understanding why that's so upsetting.

Desiring someone else is okay but in a healthy doses, your partner should be an added plus, not your entire happiness. Stop romanticizing unhealthy attachments to others.

Pile 4

The child I was Meant to be.

Your shadow wants you to accept that you are capable of growing. I'm getting that there's a lot that needs to be done, in order to become replanted. Some change has to be made, and that's okay. Life is full of growth and decay. Don't villainize yourself, the worst you can do is avoid the bad things in life because then that stops your own growth. There's a repeating issue that is very uncomfortable for you pile four. There's this greed to fulfill with your own needs. It's always about your issues and not others' problems. Your shadow wants you to learn how to manage that greed and "evil" (nobody is truly evil if you can prevent yourself from repeating negative cycles. What is it that makes you think that your too broken or off-putting to be fixed or reborn?

You might need to tie up some loose ends and heal others that you knowingly did wrong. Make sure you give the justice the people you have hurt. You have to let go of an unhealthy attachment to your own self and that desire you feel that is stopping you from being "a good person." You might have to leave something behind that you think is so good or desirable. It's difficult but you're not a hopeless cause, nobody is unable to never work on themselves, if that means walking away from what you have projected yourself do that. It's seems scary to work on becoming a better you for yourself because then you have to accept the aspects you repress but once you accept you can learn to work through it. You can mourn over who you were and accept the new you when you're healing and yourself work is fulfilled. You are capable of it but are struggling to see that it can happen. In order to plant that seed to grow the new you, you have to cut off the old ways that poison your growth. It's going to be hard but it's doable. Forgive yourself and learn why you say or do things. don't justify them, learn from who you are in order to learn about who you can be.