#people should just propose with swords instead of rings

[halcyon-writings]

forgive

diluc/reader

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note(s): hu tao is home!! i wanted to try and pull for the staff too but then i got diluc’s instead so im >:(((( and now we’re here.

all my links can be found on my pinned post if you’re interested!!

warning(s): angst, violence, alluded character death, maybe some story spoilers but half of it is me guessing

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The day had begun like it had every day prior to it. Your eyes blearily scan the room as you feel yourself waking up, the weight beside you in bed stirs slightly, soft exhales leaving them.

You relax. 

“A bad dream?” You hear softly, and you turn, Diluc only looks at you curiously, and you shake your head, settling back down, before turning to face him. 

He reaches for you, tucking your head beneath his chin once you’re close enough, his hand lazily trails miscellaneous shapes into your shoulders. You almost laugh at how cuddly he gets in the mornings. And you can’t help but feel fortunate that you’re one of the few who can witness him like this. 

Nearly asleep once more, you only pat his shoulder, “We have to get up, we’re meeting with Jean and the others in the city today.”

Regretfully that’s when you see the look in his eyes sober up. Gone is that soft warmth you find yourself craving. Changing from your night clothes is a quiet affair, the Winery is eerily silent. 

Good, no one else was here still. 

Breakfast was just as uneventful, Diluc stands nearby, watching out the window, before you hand him his plate, he takes your free hand in his own, giving it a small squeeze. 

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The city is oddly quiet when you arrive.

“You’re both here, good,” Jean sounds exhausted and you don’t blame her. 

“Preparations?” You murmur.

“Everyone is safe, and Amber just returned and has reported, they’re following the route exactly.” It’s like a wave of relief spreads through the room of the Acting Grandmaster’s office. 

“So we’re still the first target.”

Jean swallows, her eyebrows furrowed, but she looks only resigned, “Yes.”

When you hear of the abyss, the first thought that comes to mind is the stories you remember hearing as a child. Fairy tales of a kingdom whose name had been lost to time, leaving behind nothing. And as an adult, encountering those belonging to the abyss was something entirely different. 

The knights waiting outside look wary. Some even tremble. But they remain. You look to Diluc, who’s expression is unreadable. 

The strings of a harp take your attention, the familiar bard playing a jolly tune.

“Bar-Venti?” You question, correcting yourself. “What are you doing here?”

“Oh hello there!” The bard in question smiles brightly, “Why wouldn’t I be? It wouldn’t do good to leave Monstadt and her people in time of such need.” You didn’t need to further infer, the former Archon, while not having his gnosis, could be reliable when need be, and you didn’t expect him to not be here anyway.

You nod, before continuing on your way. The city, once so lively, is dull. The taverns closed, and even Katheryne is not at her usual post at the Adventurer’s Guild. Once you get the confirmation that everyone had been evacuated safely, do you finally walk out of the city gates.

They’re heard before anyone sees them. Familiar chortles and cackles of the abyss. Followed by the roars of the hilichurls they commanded. The traveller and their companion shift uneasily. You didn’t blame them.

You prepare your weapon, and more importantly, yourself. You spot Diluc some distance away, and his eyes meet your own before slowly nodding. The fighting was unlike any thing you could say you experienced. While you had helped with the occasional commission, the enemy’s ferocity was something that still surprised you. Your vision constantly glowing as you continued to fight and defend. And yet it seemed never ending. 

It was like your body was moving on it’s own. Movements and maneuvers having long since been engraved into your memory.

Your back presses against someone and you turn with a sudden jolt.

Kaeya only looks somewhat tired, hair tussled but his sword and cryo vision at the ready.

“You alright?” He drawls, “It seems these enemies of ours aren’t taking it easy on us.”

You huff, dryly laughing, “No kidding.”

When an enemy makes a swing for your head, Kaeya raises his hand, an icicle piercing through their armor quickly. And the fighting resumes again.

You hear what sounds like a harp, and notice wings in the sky. The archers trained on them while they seemingly danced in the air.

“Diluc!

“Master Diluc!”

Dread settles in your stomach. Your eyes frantically search until you find him. While at a glance he seemed fine. Until you note the abyss mages zeroing on him, as well as the occasional samachurl. You run.

And you shove him away. Oddly enough, the stinging sensation in your chest is not at the forefront of your concerns. But the pallor of Diluc’s expression is.

You can only see his mouth moving.

It was so hard to see.

“BURN!”

You’re being picked up. Diluc using his coat to cover you as you shake from the sudden chill.

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry,” He repeats desperate. You wish you could comfort him, or say anything, but nothing leaves your mouth except for a wet cough.

But there’s nothing he should feel sorry for, regardless, you forgive him anyway. You hoped he’d be okay with that.

He’s calling for someone. Your eyes close.

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Despite the bustle of the evening, Diluc joins you on the second floor’s balcony at Angel Share.

You nurse a glass of wine in your hands, it was a rarity to find yourself drinking but well, it wasn’t always nearly the end of the world now was it?

Even from the outside, you can hear the shouts of a song that José plays, the cheers that follow. The adventurers inside having one last hurrah.

Diluc, despite never one to drink, only had a small sip from your glass and called it enough. But you could see the slight flush to his cheeks.

“Lightweight,” You tease playfully, only to receive a scoff in return.

He rolls his eyes. Before his expression returns to its usual stern and serious one.

“___...” He begins, before you reach into your pocket. And he freezes.

“Where’d you find that?” He chokes out for a moment, when he sees the small box in your hand and you can’t help but feel a little proud at flustering the great Diluc Ragnivindr.

“I have my ways,” You hum, “But I do have to apologize for the poor timing.” After all, despite the merriment from inside the tavern, you knew it wouldn’t last for long.

Diluc shakes his head, almost resigned, before he too shows the hand hidden behind his back to see a similar box. Only you laugh when he opens it, practically identical to the ring you had.

“No wonder Marjorie seemed to find it so funny when I had gone to her for this.” If that makes you laugh harder, you pretend it doesn’t when you see him so flustered.

“Maybe when all this is over we can finally sit down for a proper proposal hm?” You offer.

Diluc’s lips twitch upwards into a soft smile, but nonetheless slides the ring onto his finger and his own onto yours, “I’d like that.”

[fu-aki]

So this is going to be my attempt to summarize the newest episodes of the ghost marriage event (episode 1 to 13) of twisted wonderland. Part 2

Again, spoiler alert since I’m about to write out everything that happened, and I apologize for my grammar in advance.

The event started with Epel, Ace, Riddle, and Rook’s marriage proposal

In your dorm -> suddenly a lot of ghosts showed up and said this would be the guest room for the princess -> you got kicked out by them -> you went and ask Crowley what is going on -> Crowley explained -> that was the ghost bride, her dream was to find a wonderful prince to marry, but she died before able to fulfill the dream, so now she wonders around twisted wonderland to find her groom, but that would be impossible -> Crowley “since her perfect prince needs to be over 180cm (5ft9) tall, a slim body without any unnecessary fat, clean and beautiful skin, charming smile, shinnying hair, and lips that make you want to kiss them.” -> Crowley “so there’s no way that anyone could fit that description, they just stay in ramshackle for a few days then leave.” -> suddenly Ortho showed up and said his brother is taken away by the ghosts -> Ortho showed you a footage from the security camera

Idia was on his way to buy manga -> the ghost princess showed up and said “I’ve finally found him… my prince!!!” -> the video cuts out -> Grim was surprised since Idia doesn’t feel like a prince at all -> Crowley “tall, slim, pale skin, and a smile… that can’t really be called charming, shinning… more like burning hairs, and his colored lips. If you think of it, he does fit the ghost’s type.” -> there was suddenly a lot of noises outside -> Ace and Deuce was there -> a bunch of ghosts showed up in cafeteria -> you all retreated to the sports field -> Riddle, Azul, and Kalim were also there -> they were studying but the ghost suddenly showed up -> Azul “Kalim, the correct term would be we were ‘teaching’ you right?” -> Riddle “just a little more and Kalim could finally understand the question…!” -> Vil, Rook, and Epel were in the classroom and the ghosts showed up and kicked them out -> Cater was also kicked out of lab room -> Leona was kicked out from hallway -> Ortho explained what happened to all of them -> everyone laughed -> Crowley “It’s no time to laugh! Do you know what it means to be married to a ghost? It means to be together forever with the dead. You will have your soul pulled out and goes to the other world!” -> Ortho “my… my big brother is going to be a ghost? I don’t want that to happen! Please, help my brother!” -> Crowley “of course, I’m sure when their friend is in trouble, all the gentle students here will help Shroud…”

 -> everyone “nope/don’t wanna.” -> (player choice: “what a wonderful harmony” / “you guys only get along with each other in a time like this.”) -> Ortho “why? Everyone lends me your strength!” -> Vil “He normally avoids us as much as possible, and only bother us in a time like this. It’s a little too much.” -> Leona “it’s your own ‘brother’ problem right, just do something yourself.” -> Ortho decided to just do it himself -> he started computer simulation and decided to just use a magic beam to destroy the whole school -> Crowley stopped Ortho and explained to everyone that mass media will soon be on their ass if Shroud disappeared -> Ortho also threatened that if nobody helped, he is going to hack the TV station to remove the mosaic on news and put on “the student that abandoned their friend” instead -> finally everyone agreed to help -> Lilia suggest to ask Sam boy since he knows a lot about the ghost -> Sam said he heard about this from his friends on the other side -> Ortho “is there any item that we can use to solve this…” -> “IN STOCK NOW” -> the ring of extinction -> it can force the ghost to the other world if you put it on her left ring finger while saying “I swear to love you for as long as you are alive.” -> Lilia “so basically, I don’t care if you are dead.” -> but how can we put it on her? -> the only way to do it is to propose her -> Crowley told you to gather all the students he called -> it was Trey, Jack, Jade, Floyd, Leona, Vil, and Sebek -> the plan is to make them propose to the ghost princess -> Riddle “wait a second, I can’t just watch my vice dorm leader do this, I will go too.” -> Crowley “you can’t.” -> Riddle “eh?” ->Crowley “there’s a common trait between all 7 of them, which is... over 180cm in height!!!!!!” -> Riddle “are you saying… that I’m short….!?” ->  Floyd “it’s fine, goldfish is fine as you are now… wait? Where’s little goldfish? Is he gone?” -> Riddle “ha? What do you mean, floy…” -> Floyd “…ah, there you are, you are so tiny that I couldn’t see you down there.”

Vil “why isn’t Malleus here? Isn’t he pretty tall?” -> Lilia “Malleus is a real prince, if he proposes there is a high chance to success, but even if it’s fake, there’s no way a future king of thorn valley will propose to a ghost, just the fact that he proposed would cause a national problem, so just let it slide and let Sebek do it instead.” -> Leona “hum, saying something so grand, we still don’t know if Malleus would be picked or not.” -> Sebek “Malleus sama is a very handsome man, of course, he will be chosen as the groom! You guys won’t even stand a chance!!!!!!!”  -> Vil and Leona are pretty mad after hearing that and are now determined to do this.

In cafeteria -> Idia is trying his best to scream for help and refuse to marry the princess -> but she won’t listen -> a ghost said 7 people are here to propose to her -> but she said she will refuse them all so Idia can just rest assure here -> Vil started to use his actor skill to act like a prince (change his pronoun from atashi to boku and his way of talking) -> Jack “Vil senpai… can you just lie to someone like that? I think love is supposed to be… more serious. I just, don’t like this con man act…!” -> Vil “too naïve, Jack kun.” -> Jack “Jack ‘kun’!?” -> Vil “this is a competition, to see who can charm the princess first.” -> Leona “disgusting, this is even worse than your normal self.” -> Vil “Leona kun… are you scared that you’ll lose to me?” -> Leona “… hey ghost! Bring the princess out!”

Everyone was brought to the princess -> princess complimented Idia and said how he is her perfect prince ->

Leona and Vil “I’m definitely better!” -> Jade “those two, completely forgot their goals.” -> princess decided to try and see if they will be her perfect prince -> princess “let’s start with you, the one with a wild style but a cute ear.” -> Leona “Me?” -> she suddenly started singing -> Leona got really confused

-> she slapped Leona -> princess “I can’t believe it…… To not sing a duet along with the princess!!!! You are not a prince at all!” -> Jack “Leona senpai… he was the only real prince among us though…” -> next is Vil, he passed the singing part perfectly, but then princess asked what is the name of his pet dog -> he doesn’t have one -> Vil got slapped too

next one up is Jack -> she asked if he knows sword art and how big of a monster have he slain -> Jack “sword? I don’t need something like that, I will use my fist…” -> SLAP

-> Sebek is next -> she asked if he knows how to play instruments -> Sebek started talking about Malleus nonstop -> SLAP

-> Trey is next -> She suddenly said “we can’t meet ever again, farewell!” and runs away -> Trey is confused but decided to chase after her -> She “ah, even though I told you we can’t ever meet again! Please, do not confuse me even more” -> Trey “ok it seems like the right choice to chase after her, but what should I do next…” -> Jade “Trey san, you should sing here!” -> Trey “sing!? Now!?” -> Jade “Yes, to create a romantic mood, you have to sing a wonderful song to make her heart melt.” -> Trey “I’m not really good at singing though…! umm…” -> Trey singing “emm, you… your… your veil…. Looks just like a bleached towel… eyes, also, looks like grapes… so juicy~~” -> her “…” -> Trey “…” -> SLAP

-> Jade “your comparison are a little too peasant, at least say something like your eyes are just like gem stones.” -> Trey “I’m just a high school student? I can’t come up anything like that in this situation!” -> Floyd next -> Floyd “this person just so annoying~~ can I squeeze her?” -> SLAP

-> Jade’s turn -> He offered her flowers -> Jade “I picked out those flowers myself, I thought you would look great with them.” -> Floyd pointed out those are flowers with strong poison -> Jade “yes, if you just touch them with your barehand, your hand would broke, but it seems like it don’t work with ghosts. I’ve learned.” -> SLAP ->

Trey “…hey, I just noticed something, to suddenly make someone lived in an all boy boarding school to propose to a princess… isn’t the difficulty a little too high?”

Everyone outside was laughing hard -> Azul, Cater, Deuce, and Lilia decided to help next -> SLAP SLAP SLAP SLAP -> Azul talked too much which makes him unbelievable -> Cater treated everything too lightly -> Deuce got too nervous that he couldn’t talk -> Lilia -> Lilia was too cute that she doesn’t want him -> she complained that why is there no good man left in this world and brought Idia out -> Idia “none of you even had any use at all… everyone was slapped and rolling around like an insect… aren’t you supposed to be popular! You always hype around like an idiot, aren’t you embarrassed by this!?” -> everyone is pretty mad after hearing Idia say that -> but the princess was pretty happy so she decided to make the wedding tonight, midnight. -> Idia screamed for help -> Vil “Isn’t this great, someone picked introverted you as their partner.” -> Leona “yeah, now that I think of it you two are really fitting as a couple.” -> Idia “why--!?” -> Jack “of course, we will get mad after hearing what you said.” -> Idia “Azul!! We are friends of the board game club right?” -> Azul “to think that the hikikomori Idia would get married… I’m so touched I think I’m about to cry… congratulation. I will send you some wedding gift.”

Outside -> Ace was still laughing at what happened -> Crowley “it seems like the only thing we can do now is to find back up grooms!”

That was all for now, man this event is hilarious, especially the part where everyone got slapped, so sad that I couldn’t fit in everyone’s slapped face in here

[writer-akihiko]

A Knight’s Curse - Yandere!Jean X Reader

This is my second contribution to @delicateikemenmemes​ for her route countdown party! Also tagging @nafeary​ because... This was kinda a yandere thing that I translated and have been hinting at for a few months now.

To IkeVamp readers, are you guys interested in more yandere content? Because in my JP blog half of it is yandere and half is everything else so I was wondering if I should translate some of it... 

Also, disclaimer for Jean. This is my personal characterisation of Jean from IkeVamp as a Yandere. Actual Jean would not do this; this is my take on how Jean acts as a Yandere. 

TW: Yandere, Drugging, Obsessive Behaviour

What's this feeling? The chirping birds, the jovial atmosphere, the church bells ringing…

And you, his princess, in a wedding dress.

Then why does it hurt so much?

Maybe it hurts so as you weren't walking down the aisle for him.

He remembered that day when he saw you and Mozart, walking hand in hand. He didn't find it odd, you two were the dearest people to him.

He didn't see that you two were the dearest lovers to each other.

"Jean, Mozart proposed to me!" You said, jumping a little with joy as you held Mozart's arm in yours.

Mozart gave him a formal bow, smiling to him.

Why does his friend smile in betrayal?

"Jean, if it weren't for you, I wouldn't have the courage to propose to meine Liebe," He said, smiling down at you. You gazed back at your future husband, simply delighted to share the news with everyone.

That day… Mozart questioned him about love, and about companionship. He of course gave his honest opinion as his friend. Jean unknowingly talked about you, and his strong  feelings for you but not once had he mentioned you by name.

It would be a waste to get other men to notice how lovable you were.

He loathed it.

He loathed every second of it.

Every second that passes of Mozart and you preparing for the wedding felt like poison to his ears.

It'd be a serious understatement to say he was envious.

Jean knew as the days to the day of your matrimony drew closer, the chances for your wedding escape to occur would get slimmer and slimmer.

There was something about the whole thing where he felt guilt. He felt guilty for not coming to you sooner, but the one thing that he was glad that played into his hand was Mozart being the one in your favour. If it were anyone else…

Things might've ended up bloodier than it needed to be.

By the eve before the wedding day, Jean had accompanied you to collect your wedding dress from the tailor's, courtesy of Comte of course. He quite enjoyed how excited you were, and he thought about what a shame it was to steal you away before your wedding. He almost felt guilty.

Almost.

He wasn't about to waste his efforts or affections after all.

As the night came, making sure all the residents including you were knocked out drunk by whatever means possible, he went up to your room. He almost felt sinful to disturb such a heavenly sleeping princess…

It didn't matter. What those in the world would do are much more hateful, much more twisted, cruel crimes.

It was almost as if you didn't belong here.

~○~

You woke up to the rustling sounds of sheets and metal. You were a little confused, since you were supposed to wake up to your wedding preparations…

"Princess? You're awake?"

You let out a sigh of relief, shrugging off the intimate nickname. "Jean, thank goodness you're here Jean… Where are we? Were we kidnapped from the mansion?"

Jean gave you quite a frightening scowl, patting your head, "My dear princess YN… This is where you're the safest. I can't let you go back."

Muffled yells caught your attention, as your gaze shifted pass Jean to see your husband gagged and tied up with rope. Mozart loosened the gag with enough shuffling, finally letting his hoarse voice yell out, "YN! It was Jean! He took you here and-"

Jean held Mozart by the scruff, pushing him down and looking quite annoyed at him. "And I made her safe! Better than any one of you could!"

"Jean… What's the meaning of this? Let him go!"

He reluctantly told you, his gaze not meeting yours in shame. "YN, I can't…" He said. "If I let Mozart go, I don't think I can control myself from killing him…"

His eyes filled with despair wanted to ask you once more why, but he thought it would be meaningless to do so. "I love you my princess… and you picked him instead," He said, his voice resonating with his melancholy. "I couldn't stand it. I couldn't… You were the only one who understood me and then I wouldn't see you again…"

His grip got tighter around Mozart's neck, the pianist's breaths sounding more ragged and choked.

"This world doesn't deserve you YN," He explained, having one of his hands at his hilt. "I was brought back to be your knight… your saviour…"

"Not him."

He thrusted out his rapier and grazed the cheek of your husband, the blood quickly slipping out.

Jean lifted his sword once again, pointing at you then to Mozart.

"You have a few options dear… I'll kill Mozart if you refuse to stay with me, but I'll let him go peacefully if you decide to not be difficult…" He said. "And if you don't like either… I'll kill you both and then myself."

Mozart struggled against Jean at the mention of Jean killing you.

"YN, don't you dare pick the third one," He said. "I'm not letting you die mein Leibe-"

"Silence yourself or I'll have to silence you myself, my friend," Jean snapped.

The Jean in front of you was a different man. He… You didn't know how to describe him but it just wasn't him.

"Let him go and I'll stay."

Silence was the answer that it was the right choice.

~○~

Jean was always spoiling you, bringing you whatever you asked for except the notion of freedom. The final straw struck in, and you snapped.

"Answer me one thing Jean. Why this?" You said, rattling around the chains that he placed on you. "Why Jean, why?! I never wanted this- I thought you would never…"

"Because I WANT TO LOVE YOU!"

He dropped to his knees, sobbing uncontrollably.

"I just want to love you…"

"I… You are everything  to me YN."

[dork-empress]

Singing in the Dead of Night

Damian Wayne meets a new masked persona in Gotham, and everyone has to adjust to her.

AKA I have a lot of headcanons about Lucy Quinzel and I'm making it other people's problem.

I want it up front that I haven't read these comics, just a lot of wiki pages and tiktoks. If there's a fun thing in the comics you can tell me, but this is my own version of this universe and these characters.

This is going to be the main story, but I may do some offshoots. If you want to subscribe, chapters are also posted on my Ao3 (link in my description).

“You need to take things less seriously.”

Damian looked up, looked down, and then looked back just to be sure it was really his father who asked. It was hard to tell sometimes if your superhero father had been replaced or possessed or something. “Are you serious? YOU’RE telling me that?”

“That should enforce to you how dire the situation is.” Bruce said, leaning back in his chair. “You’re still a kid,”

“I’m 15,” Damian said, then thought about his varied adventures, “Technically…”

“My point exactly,” Bruce said, turning a page on his crime reports, “You should enjoy being a kid, for a while.”

“Oh, did you enjoy being 15?” Damian said, and maybe that was a low blow, but if Bruce wasn’t ready for him to call him out he...shouldn’t have made him upset. Hmm.

Bruce looked up and stared into his soul, and Damian worried he might have stepped in it a bit. He backed up a step in case. Bruce took a deep breath, looking at him. “My childhood was stolen from me, but I at least had one. As did all the other Robins. You’re not responsible for what happened to you,but I think you could use some time. I couldn’t offer you a childhood then, and I can hardly do that now, I know, but I can do what I can.”

“And what are you doing?” Damian asked, narrowing his eyes.

“You’re suspended from Robin duties.”

“WHAT?!” Damian exploded, getting in his face. “What are you talking about?!”

Bruce didn’t flinch, “Until the Wayne Manor Christmas Party,” Bruce said, “I’ve called Tim and he’s willing to cover for you until then.”

“He doesn’t NEED to cover me,” Damian snarled, “I’m right here! I’m not injured, or dead, or ANYTHING I just--WHY?”

“I told you,” Bruce said, “You need to find other...hobbies, or form connections or SOMEthing. Anything other than the lifestyle. You have two months, you’ll live.”

Damian curled his fists, shaking, but had no more arguments. “You’re the WORST!” He said, and went off to his rooms.

The room was left in stony silence for a moment. Alfred came in, changing out Bruce’s cup of tea. “You don’t actually expect that to work, do you?”

“Not really, no,” Bruce said, “But he’ll be out of my hair for a little bit.”

Alfred was very dignified and so did not snort. But it was close.

Damian went out at night, saying he was off with a friend. Best to keep things vague, but if Bruce pressed, he’d say he was with Jon, and could probably bully Jon into vouching for him.

He dressed all in black, jumping from the rooftops, looking for trouble. There was usually plenty of it in Gotham. He just had to avoid the Bat Signal hanging in the sky and he’d be fine.

He heard a crash and looked down. Jewelry store robbery. Perfect.

He jumped down to ground level and approached the broken in window, taking out his sword. “Anyone in here, it’s better to surrender now,”

Of course, because it was Gotham, he wasn’t met by a normal jewel thief. No, instead, what approached him was a small walking orange balloon animal dog.

Because of course it was.

With an act first, think later attitude, he stabbed at it. He regretted it instantly as it let out some sort of opaque gas, the effects of which he didn’t want to find out. He pulled his shirt up over his mouth in hopes of preventing himself breathing too much in.

“Oh wow,” a voice said behind him, “Are you Robin?”

Damian whipped around and scowled. The gas was obscuring whoever was there, but the silhouette seemed like something of a ballerina. Why couldn’t one criminal just be normal?

He jumped back, ready to attack, but she didn’t fight him. “I’m not Robin,” he said, “I’m…” he didn’t think of another name. Ugh, this was more complicated than it needed to be.

“Huh,” she said, heading over to the display case, “This city sure has a lot of teenage ninja fighters, doesn’t it? Is ninja appropriative? Hmm, will have to think on that.”

She picked up a diamond ring from the display case and headed for the door. “Put that down!” Damian yelled at her, lifting his sword up.

“What, are you going to kill me for one ring?” She said, holding it, “Kinda overkill, don’t you think, Blackbird?”

Damian put his sword up to her, blocking the exit. “I’m not going to kill you, I’m just going to stop you,” he said, determined, but then her words sank in. “Blackbird?”

“Well, I’ve got to call you something, isn’t that how these superhero fights all go?” She stepped forward out of the fog, a girl about his age with a white painted face, lips painted into a heart, and bright orange and pink eyeshadow. “I’m Commedia, the hero of funny, the dancing clown, the laughing knight, etc etc.” she said, “im still working on my name too.”

She did a fancy twirl, getting out of range of Damian’s sword, which he countered to block her from the entrance again. “Oh, you like to dance?” she said.

“Clown, huh?” he said, staring her down, “You work for the joker?”

She laughed, high pitched and sweet, “Very much no,” she said, twirling again through the store, “Though I understand the confusion. No, Joker is...well, a joke. He’s not even registered in the clown registry.”

“There’s a clown registry?” He swung his sword.

This time, it came to a stop, with a matching jingle. He frowned, and saw it was a tambourine that the woman had lifted and stopped the sword like a shield.

He stared at the girl, Commedia, in stunned silence. She smiled brightly at him. “Well, this has been fun. But I really ought to head out. Raincheck on that dance, Blackbird.”

With a spin and a jump, she made it past him and rushed out the door, throwing a pink flower behind. A gas filled up the room in her wake, obscuring the view. Damian unfortunately got a whiff before he could block his nose, but he knew a simple fog cloud scent when he smelled it.

Damian went back into the shadows before the police inevitably arrived. It did seem below his paygrade, fighting someone who only stole a single diamond ring. But it was even stranger for that fact. A strangely dressed clown woman engaging in very strange and specific crimes in Gotham screamed “beginning of a dangerous plot.”

He wanted to go in swinging as usual, then remembered that if his father heard anything about a young person with a sword threatening police, he might catch onto the fact Damian went out that night. So, he went with the subtle approach. Breaking into the jewelry store’s records.

He was glad he did. It turned out that ring in particular had a history. It had been bought, returned, bought again, and returned once more, all by the same man, a Matthew Crenshaw. A quick records search brought up that he was a simple caller at a center. Nothing special about him. But, he was tied to the ring, and that tied him to the girl, so that was his first stop.

He tracked down the apartment to find Matthew Crenshaw in the middle of a very strange day. Damien watched through the window as Matthew lay on the floor of his meager living room, looking up at Commedia herself. She held the ring out to him, offering. “Well come on, man! Take it!”

“I don’t…” he mumbled, “Who...who are you?!”

“Just call me your fairy godmother,” she said. “Come on, you said you wanted it! So take it!”

“That’s…” Matthew said, “That’s the ring that Jenny liked...that she…”

“That you said would make the perfect proposal!” She said, dancing around, “So? Here it is! Now you can propose for real!” she said, giving it to him.

He juggled it, nearly falling over. Commedia came rushing over, jumping through the window and onto the fire escape. “Alright, hands up,” Damian urged her.

She turned, smiling. “Why, Blackbird? We going on roller coaster?” She put her hands high in the air and swung around the fire escape ladder, “Weeeeee!”

Damian followed her, pointing his sword tip at her chest. “Stop,” he said, “What are you planning?”

“Well, I’m planning to go sneak up to that window up there so I can look in and see what Matty and Jenny have going on,” She said, “Wanna join--OH!”

Damian pressed his sword up to her neck. “Cut the games,” He said, “You’re up to something, I know it. So tell me.”

Commedia sighed, giving in. “Matthew doesn’t want to get married.”

“I...what?” Damian said, confused.

“Matthew Crenshaw, the guy up there,” Commedia said, “He’s a nice guy, and he cares for his girlfriend Jenny, sure. But she’s been pressuring him about getting married, even though he doesn’t really like the idea of getting married. He’s talked himself into saying that he needs the perfect ring, but when he bought it, he decided he couldn’t afford it, and gave it back. So, I got it for him.”

Damian’s scowl only deepened as she kept talking. “Who’s he to you?”

She tilted her head, confused. “He cold called me to try and offer me a deal on car insurance.”

Damian put down the sword. He just. She said it so sincerely. “Who ARE you?” He demanded, now out of confusion more than anger.

She smiled brightly once more. “Why, I’m Commedia! The hero clown, the dancing--”

“Yeah, you said all that before, but like,” He sighed, “Why?”

Commedia’s smile fell down to something simple and kind. She offered a hand to him.

Hesitant, curious, and just...confused, he took it.

She led him to the other window, where they saw Jenny walking through the door. She gasped and ran to Matthew. “Oh, Matt! Matt, yes! Yes, I do, I do, I never thought this day would come! Oh gosh, I gotta call my mom, I’ve got a few dresses all picked out. You’ll see, it’ll be a huge party with everyone we know and-”

“Jenny,” he said, “Jenny wait, I...you know I don’t...I’m not comfortable with crowds and...and I don’t--

“But it’s MY DAY!” Jenny wailed, “You wouldn’t take MY day from me, would you?”

“C’mon,” Commedia muttered.

“Please, Jen,” Matt continued, “Look it’s just...if, if we did get married, shouldn’t--wouldn’t it be my day too?”

“Oh come ON, Matt,” Jenny said, walking to the counter, “We both know I’m the one who knows what’s best for you. It’ll be good! You’ll finally get to shine, and if you don’t like it, you’ll have ME there to take the rest of the spotlight!”

Matt’s hands balled into fists, and his face set, “No.”

“What?” Jenny said, incredulous.

“I’ve had it! I’m tired of-of you telling me what I like and what I don’t!” his lip trembled as he stood up. “I knew I was hesitant, but I didn’t know why! Now I see it’s becasue I didn’t want you in the rest of my life!”

“Hey now,” Jenny said, “Matt, calm down--”

“Get out of my house!” Matt went to the open window Commedia left behind and tossed out the ring.

“Whoopsies,” Commedia said and dropped away. Damian, confused, dropped down after her.

She picked the ring up from the ground and held it out to Damian. “I trust you can get this back to the jewelry store.”

“So, all of that…” he said, “was to help a guy get out of a bad relationship? That you barely knew?”

“He sounded sad on the phone,” Commedia said, “Made me curious.”

Damian scoffed, staring at her. “Who ARE you?”

She chuckled. “My guess is you’ll find out sooner or later,” she said, “So I’ll pick later, for now. But I’m sure I’ll see you again soon, Blackbird.”

She took out another flower. This one shot off into the distance like a grappling hook, and pulled her twirling into the night.

Damian could have followed her, maybe. But, holding the ring in his hands, he didn’t see much need to.

Across town, Batman was called to a bank robbery in the middle of the night. Inside, however, he didn’t find the vault broken in, and nothing stolen, other than a number of complimentary lollipops. “You know there are easier ways to get my attention.”

“Aw, Come on Bats!” Harley said, swinging from the ceiling with one of the lollipops in her mouth, “Ain’t this a classic? Brings me back to the old days.”

“Oh, you’ve stopped doing crime then?” He said, leaning back and looking up at her, “News to me.”

Harley flipped down in front of him. “Batsy, you know I’m tryin’! I do good, is it a crime to have a little fun while I do it?”

“If you hurt people, yes.” Batman said.

Harley deflated. “I haven’t done that in a while now. I’m goin through some life changes.”

Batman hummed, staring down at her. “I’m guessing this is about the small clown that has been reported around town recently doing strange acts of minor crimes to help people?”

Harley brightened again, balancing on the teller counter. “She’s my new apprentice! A bit of a goody-two-shoes, but I’m doing my best to train her.” She did a handstand, “I came to ask for some advice at raising child soldiers, considering you have so much experience.”

Batman always scowled, but it seemed his scowl deepened on that. “I help some people come to terms with terrible things that have happened to them, and teach them to be a force of good in the world instead of falling to the world’s darkness.” He thought back on his children, “It doesn’t always work.”

Harley laughed, “No kidding,” she said. She sighed, thinking. “To be honest, Commedia is already pretty good. I can’t claim credit for that.” She rocked back and forth, feeling uneasy.

Batman approached, slow so as not to scare her. “Well, we both know she didn’t get it from her father.”

Her face was already white, but she blanched further. “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” she said, “She’s my niece, she ran from home so I’m taking care of her and-”

“Harley,” Batman stopped her rambling, “I’m a detective, remember?”

She frowned, shaking at him. “He doesn’t know,” she said, “No one knows, she...she’s never met him and I don’t want her to I--”

Batman held up his hands, stopping her again. “I know,” he said, “I understand, really. And I’ll help.”

She blinked up at him, smiling. “Really?”

Batman nodded. “I’ll help you protect her. As for advice....if you ever figure out a perfect way to raise masked vigilantes, let me know. I mostly just do the best I can, and make sure they can do a proper spin-kick if they need to.”

Harley snorted. “I’ll make a note of that.” She grabbed the box of free lollies on the counter, “I am going to be robbing these though, and you can’t stop me.”

She headed for the back entrance and away. “Harley,” Batman called her again, and she froze, “The year you were gone, when you disappeared and suddenly your sister had a child she wasn’t pregnant with. I want you to know, I noticed.”

Harley smiled, turning, “Thanks Bats-” When she turned, he was gone. “And people call me a drama queen.”

[herstarburststories]

Important Milestones (Damian Wayne x reader)

✾ Summary: An intimate look through your and Damian's relationship. Requested! It’s been a hot bit since I wrote for Damian, so I hope this one is good!

↼❈⇁

First meeting

Dick was taking Damian to the circus

Add a long conversation and lots of "Yeah, Dami. I'm sure the animals are treated well-- Actually, animals aren't allowed in legal circus anymore. You don't have to worry."

They were watching the show, and Damian couldn’t believe that Grayson was so excited about clowns

Damian excused himself to get some food

Dick asked him to get a hotdog, but Damian will bring him popcorn #beaveg

Thing is, you and Damian arrived the food trunk at the same time

Which leaded to an argument

Y/N: I got here first!

Damian: You are not on the line!

Y/N: Because you almost ran over me!

You two kept going long enough for a worried Dick to show up

How to trust each other

You know when you've never seen a person before, but once you lay your eyes on them, you start seeing their face in every crowd?

That's basically you and Damian

How come you didn't know the idiot from the circus was also the Wayne guy that studied with you?

How he, with Talia and Batman's observation skills, never noticed you walking around Gotham's School and now he always caught a sight of you?

You and Damian quickly fall into a weird routine:

Glare each other during lunch

Rolls your eyes when the others was talking in class

Annoy each other whenever you had the chance

Jon teased him a lot

Talking about Superboy...

He seemed off in the morning and he hadn't showed up for lunch like he always did

Damian decided to look for his best friend

Surprisingly, he found Jon crying in your arms in the middle of the chemistry laboratory

You just looked at Damian and nodded for him to come in

Y/N: His parents had a big fight. I found him here alone and thought I could help. Since you are here, guess I'll go.

Damian: You can stay. I mean, Jon probably could use your emotional assistance.

Damian still finds you annoying (and so do you), but you helped his friend

He trust you... A bit

Recognize your feelings

Damian came to school one day. He is clearly hurt-- he couldn’t even walk straight

Jon remained quiet. He was there when the week's villain throw Damian against a wall as if he was a bag of potatoes

But you don't know about the Robin detail

Besides, you are sort of a trinity with them now

Therefore, you worry

And you ask

And you worry some more

It's been a few weeks since your friendship started. Damian trusts you, he really does, but not enough to tell you

Let's keep in mind that pretty much like Bruce, Damian isn't the best when it comes to expressing his feelings through anything but violence

So, he acts like an idiot

Y/N: Damian, come on. I'm not stupid enough to believe you’d fall hard enough to get yourself hurt like this. Talk to me.

Damian: Stop pushing your need to fix everything on me, Y/N. You are not my mother. Don't waste your worry on me, I don't need it.

You realized you liked him when you felt way more worried than you usually would

But Damian just noticed his cherish for you when you glared at him with evident hurt in your eyes and left the table

He just wanted you back, making silly jokes with Jon and stealing his fries

Kiss me, idiot

Two days

48 hours + 12 minutes since you two fought

A whole weekend

LISTEN, his life was going perfectly well before you came along

Now it seems like you opened a spot that's exactly your fit and put yourself there

Whenever you aren't around, Damian feels this weird sensation of missing

Jon convinces him into talking to you

As soon as he sees you in school, he does

Apologize becomes another argument (surprise, surprise)

Damian: Why do you care so much?!

Y/N: Because I like you, idiot!

Damian: You, you like me? As in--

Then you kiss him

Because, let's be clear, you'd end up kissing or punching him

Finding out he's Robin

It's the most stupid way possible

Like, for real

Last night, his Robin's duties kept Damian up until 5am

Instead of leaving his clothes inside the Batcave as usual, he just crumbled to his bed

The sun arrived and so did you

School project

While Damian was out to grab some books, you were studying his room

A picture of him and Jon. Some papers with Arabian words. A dog's bed. Robin suit. A sword

Wait, come back

A. Robin. Suit.

Damian Wayne was many things, but cosplayer certainly wasn't on the list

The pieces glued together fast

A rich family would make sense: Batman and Robin's instruments never looked cheap. Four Robins existed among the years, and Damian had 3 brothers. Not to mention that he'd show up with random scratches and never explain what happened. He was good with swords, and the current Robin had been seen with them a lot of times. Besides, Damian Wayne would never wear a costume willingly, much less keep one in his room

He walks inside the room to see you wearing his cape and mask

Y/N: Guess I'm robin' your persona, huh? Wanna tell me something?

Meeting the family

You come from a big family

Good thing because anybody else would be scared if they were in your shoes

MESS, MESS, MESS

Dick is smiling like a crazy all the time, and making dad jokes

Tim is teasing Damian by asking you to blink twice if you need saving

Jason is directly fighting Damian and calling him devil spawn

Bruce is quietly watching everyone with a subtle smile on his lips. He asks you a few questions, and occasionally asks the boys to behave before answering his phone and excusing himself

Babs, Steph and Cassandra come in later

Now the teasing is divided between you and Damian and Steph and Tim

You tease them a lot, blushing Tim is adorable

You are wearing purple boots, and Steph already loves you for that

Dick tells Babara about you being aware of the family secret

She offered to train you for some self-defense

YOU ACCEPTED, DUH. SHE IS THE BATGIRL!!

Cass is more quiet, but very friendly

Alfred was the first batfam member that you'd met, though (also your fav)

You try (key word being try) to help him in the kitchen

Batcow became your best friend, sorry Jon

You met the Titan family as well

Now you had munition to tease Dick as much as he teased you and Damian

Thank you, Kory

Also, Kor is a real life alien princess, how cool is that!?

Beast Boy is the funniest guy -- and now you are pretty sure you became a vegetarian because you can't eat animals after seeing his transformation

Raven reminds you of Cass

Donna is so powerful, and she knows so many languages!

You get along with his two families

Although Damian rolls his eyes a lot during y'all interaction, he is really happy

First kid

You and Damian are in university when it happens

You both know it's a big step

There's no turning back, you two will always be connected

Damian and you are now responsible, parents

Of the cutest bunny!

Yep, you insisted on naming him Robin

The first kid you both adopted together

Get on your knees for me

Damian isn't much of a romantic

You don't really mind

But when he proposes, it's the sweetest thing

You two had ordered some veggie food to celebrate the end of your finals

Finally a break!

Damian was holding you on the couch as you both watched one of your favorite movies when Robin, the bunny showed up

Y/N: Batbunny, just because we have vegan food, it doesn't mean you can get some. Go eat your lettuce.

Damian: Beloved, maybe you should see what he brought for you.

The bunny had a necklace wrapped around him!!

And the said necklace was attached to a ring!!

A FUCKING DIAMOND!?

Extra of love:

You became a vigilant for a bit before deciding how you truly wanted to help people

Besides charity, you became a lawyer specialized in cases of racism and immigration

Your and Damian's wedding was a mix of your culture and his

Comment/Reblog if you liked it, feedback is magic! Wanna see more? Check my Masterlist! How about get tagged on my batboys or just Damian works? Ask me or add yourself to my taglist!

[huilian]

Eugenides, mathematics, and the people that he loves.

or, 12 times mathematics was involved, in some way or another, between our favorite bastard of a king and the people he has made a family out of.

or, that math degree gotta get used  somehow

2.

“If you’re going to lurk from the ceiling, Eugenides, you might as well come down and help me,” Eddis said.

In front of her was a string of numbers that should have represented the entirety of her country’s taxes, but none of it made sense to her. She knew all the basics, of course, but they didn’t expect her to be queen, and by the time she was her father’s heir, she was too busy trying to learn everything else that the thought of learning the intricate system of taxes did not even cross her mind.

She was regretting that now.

“Well, it seemed rude to interrupt your brooding session, Your Majesty,” Eugenides said, landing next to her without so much as a whisper of a sound.

She glared at him in the empty room she was in, having already sent everybody out. Her advisors meant well, but they kept talking over each other in their eagerness to explain this to her, and instead of helping her understand it, that just made the numbers seem even more confounding.

“I was not brooding,” she said.

“If you say so, My Queen,” Eugenides grinned. “Now, do you want me to explain this to you, or was this covered in one of the few classes you did not skip?”

She glared again, but she pointed at one entry, embarrassingly high on the list, and said, “Start there.”

8.

“Remind me, Costis,” the King said, “your father is a farmer, is he not?”

Costis blocked the King’s attack— he still insisted on sparring with Costis every morning, even though he now had an abundance of sparring partners to choose from— and replied, “Yes, Your Majesty.”

The King hummed, and Costis pushed forward, trying to get at least one hit on Eugenides when he was still distracted. Instead of reaching his target, however, his training sword flew out of his hands and he found himself with a wooden sword placed gently upon his chest.

“My win, I believe, Costis,” the King said with a smile. “I think that’s enough for the day.”

“Your Majesty?” Costis asked, disbelieving.

“Yes, Costis,” Eugenides replied. “Come, sit in the shade next to me, and tell me about your father’s farm. The sun is much too hot today.”

Costis frowned, but he knew already that the best way to deal with his King when he was like this was to indulge his whims. So he took the King’s sword, retrieved his own, placed them where the rest of the practice swords were located, and sat down next to Eugenides, answering all of his questions about the way his father determines how much seeds he should buy and how many people he should hire.

*

Teleus picked up a piece of paper that was not there the last time he left his office, locked with the only key on his own belt.

The paper was filled with numbers and equations from one end to the other, and after skimming it quickly, Teleus can see that it contained the beginnings of a plan on how to sufficiently reduce the Guard with minimal compromises on its function.

Sighing, he picked up the paper and a flagon of wine, and made his way to Relius’s quarters. It would not help the headache that’s already starting to form, but at the very least he would have someone to talk to. And to share wine with.

3.

 Sophos,

 I think I caught where that extra one half is coming from. Tell the Magus that it is his fault that this equation does not balance. That extra one half is supposed to be there. You can find the proof attached in this letter.

 That said, are you getting better at this quicker than I expected, o Useless the Younger? I should write the Magus to tell him to provide you with harder problems to solve. You have not asked for my help even once in the last few weeks.

 Your friend, Eugenides

10.

“What do you think of that new proof from the continent? That you can find distance by finding an area?”

A few short years ago, Kamet would have jumped in shock. Nowadays, however, he was far too used to Eugenides’s antics to be truly shocked.

“I think, Your Majesty,” he said, “that my topic of choice is poetry and history, and that any discussion about mathematics is better done with your youngest attendant. The gods know he could focus on little else.”

Eugenides waved his hand in such a manner as to fully frustrate Kamet. Truly, only Attolis could manage to cause such contempt in such a little movement.

“I will ask him later, when I want my argument ripped to shreds. But I want to know your thoughts, Kamet.”

“My interest in mathematics is in bookkeeping only, Your Majesty.”

“Ah, don’t play coy with me,” Eugenides replied. “I know you better than that.”

Kamet narrowed his eyes, but the arguments are already starting to form in his head. He briefly lamented the fact that he would not be able to finish his translation work today, because from previous experience, once this discussion started, it will not stop until the bell rings for dinner time, and he has promised Costis that he would not work in candlelight only for the health of his eyes.

Eugenides grinned, like he knew that he had already won this battle. He probably did, that little bastard of a king.

“Fine,” Kamet sighed. “I think that it’s plausible. If the speed is constant, then it’s just a rectangle, is it not? We can then infer that-”

They talked long after that, discussing the merits and demerits of the idea. Eugenides disappeared just before the bell rang to call the court for dinner, however, as if he knew Kamet’s thoughts from earlier and decided to spite him even more.

Kamet couldn’t even be mad about it.

7.

“Do you not believe my story, Relius?” the king asked.

A mere month ago, Relius would not have deigned to answer. A mere month ago, Eugenides would not have told the story. But now, in the time when only men plagued with nightmares are awake, Relius said, “I somehow doubt you managed to calculate the volume of that bath in such a short time, Your Majesty.”

Eugenides clicked his tongue, and said, “It’s just a cylinder. Or close enough to one that it doesn’t matter.” He leaned back on his chair and asked, “Surely you know how to do that quickly enough?”

“I confess I have not practiced that in a long time, Your Majesty.”

“More important matters in your mind?”

Court intrigues and spy networks. Letters written in codes that only he can break and knowledge that he has long since imparted to his queen. None of that matters anymore, now.

Instead of answering the question, Relius said, “Maybe I’ll learn how to do that. After.”

“Maybe,” the king replied. He pulls on the blanket covering Relius’s body, adjusting it so that all of Relius’s limbs are properly underneath it. All four of them.

They didn’t talk again for the rest of the night.

9.

“Two of your trousers are currently being mended, Your Majesty, and three more are in the wash, so the choice tonight is between the blue pair or the deep brown pair. I’ve chosen the blue, and paired it with that coat you just commissioned,” Philologos explained.

“That’s good, Philologos, thank you,” the king said, absentmindedly pulling his undershirt off. He unclasped the cuff of his hook, handed them to Hilarion, who was standing next to him, and entered the bath.

Seeing that everything is well under control, Philologos shared a nod with Hilarion, and then turned to go retrieve the aforementioned trousers and coat.

Before he could do that, however, the king called out, “Philologos?”

“Yes, Your Majesty?” he answered.

“Two added with three added with two does not make eight,” Attolis said.

Philologos blinked, baffled with the apparent absurdity of the statement. He was just about to chalk it up to Eugenides being Eugenides and simply agree with the king, before he realized what was going on.

He blanched.

“I…” he stammered, unsure as to what to say, when Hilarion also realized what was going on and laughed.

“I thought your education was better than that, Philo,” Hilarion teased. “What would your father say, if he knew that his only heir forgot how to do basic addition?”

“I…” Philologos stammered again, trying to find words to defend his honor, but the king interjected before he could do that.

“I am honored, Philologos, that you have chosen to emulate me in this.” Eugenides grinned, before continuing, “Though I wish that you would have chosen something better than my trousers to steal.”

Behind him, Philologos could hear the rest of the attendants snickering, and that was enough fuel to make him shout, “Four! Four of your trousers are in the wash, Your Majesty!” without even considering what that outburst would cost him. He could feel his cheeks turning red, and he gritted out, “Now, if you will excuse me, I will go and retrieve your clothes for dinner.”

He turned around, fully intending to block any and all comments, when the king called out, “Don’t steal this pair too, Philologos!” adding fuel to the laughter from the attendants.

But when he handed the trousers to the king after he had finished his bath, Eugenides pulled him close, and whispered, “If you’re going to steal any of my trousers, take the red one.” A burst of hot air hit Philologos’s ear, the tell-tale sign that the king is laughing. “The embroidery is in gold.”

4.

“Eight ships,” the Eddisian Minister of War said to his son. “Eight ships, and you asked for?”

“Twenty men,” Eugenides replied.

“That’s,” he paused for a moment to recheck his calculations, “two men a ship.” He looked at Eugenides, frowned, and said, “That’s not possible.”

“I didn’t propose to burn all eight of them. Four,” Eugenides said, lifting up his fingers. “Maybe even five if we’re lucky,” he lifted up the one finger he had left.

His father very deliberately did not look at Eugenides’s other arm, which has no more fingers to lift up. “That is still five men a ship, Eugenides,” he said, “without any scouts or people standing guard.”

Eugenides simply shrugged, and replied, “I can do it.”

A year ago, he could. The Minister of War frowned even deeper, and said, “Thirty. Twenty for your plan, five for scouts, four to stand guard, and one just in case.”

Eugenides’s mouth curled in a discontented line, but he sighed and said, “Alright. Thirty it is.”

6.

“It was the type of wheat,” Eugenides mumbled next to Irene’s ear.

They were tangled together on top of her sheets, their legs twined together and their heads pillowed on the same bed. Wheat was the furthest thing from Irene’s mind, but still, she hummed a note to tell him to go on.

“Artadorus,” her husband continued, his eyes still half closed. “He reported a different kind of wheat than what he planted. You charge a different rate for the different kinds.”

Irene hummed again. She would have found out, eventually. She has many people in her tax offices employed to do just that. One of them would have found out the deceit and brought it to her or Relius, and the fraud would have been exposed, just the same. It would not have been as effective, but it would still have reached her.

It was on the tip of her tongue to say that it was not just her who charges a different rate for the taxes, but one glance at his face caused her to remain silent. They could be kings and queens again in the morning, but tonight, they are simply husband and wife.

She rolled over to face him, and said, “Tell me again in the morning,” before kissing him.

He did not say anything about wheat again until the sunrise entered the windows of the room.

11.

"I think a triangle only has three sides, Pheris, and not four," Eugenides said, materializing somewhere behind the young Baron Erondites.

For his part, the Baron Erondites looked at the work he was completing, saw the mistake, and started signing things that he had decided were curses.

Attolis laughed.

"Surely that is not as debilitating as that?"

I would have to redo this whole section, Pheris signed with one hand. The other hand was already scratching things out on his parchment with a speed that truly belies his frustration.

"Oh, I'm sure it's not that bad," Eugenides said, sitting next to him. "You would only have to change…"

A pause, and then Annux of the Hephestian Peninsula hissed out something that would truly shock all the new ambassadors from the Continent and made his wife glare at him for saying that in front of the children. "You need to redo the whole section," Eugenides deadpanned.

Pheris just glared at him, and scratched out, 'I told you so', somewhere in the midst of the mess his parchment was becoming.

12.

"Why do we have to learn this?" the Princess of Attolia complained.

Her brother, also looking dejectedly at his own work, nodded in agreement.

"Because, my little thief," her father said, "one day, you might find yourself on a ledge too far for you to jump, and you have to calculate how many pics you can trust your own skill and how many you have to trust our god for." He turned to his son, and continued, "And you, my future king, will one day have someone telling you that seventeen horses each carrying three sacks of grain somehow amounts to having forty sacks, and you will have to disabuse them of that notion immediately."

The twins looked at each other for a moment, before Hector said, “But we knew how to do that already. That is simple geometry and arithmetics. This is not that.”

Eugenia nodded, and added, “Even Mother said that her own education did not come this far. So, Father, why do we have to learn this?”

Eugenides blinked, before chuckling softly. “I see,” he said, after a while. He sat atop the table that the twins were using to write, and continued, “It seems I have done you both a disservice.

“I ask you to learn this because no matter who you are, whether you are an okloi or a watchmaker or a king or a thief, or perhaps, even the gods themselves, the logic of mathematics will still be the same. There are no lies in mathematics, nor are there deceit.”

He paused there, staring at things that neither Eugenia nor Hector could see. Seconds passed in silence, and Eugenia opened her mouth, ready to bring their father back to the present with a remark, but before she could do that, Hector jabbed her in the stomach and shook his head.

Their patience was rewarded when Eugenides sighed and propelled himself from the table he was sitting on. “But you are right,” he said, plucking the pens from their hands, Eugenia’s first, and then Hector’s. “Both of you certainly already have the skills needed to fulfill your duties. Anything more will just be a fool’s errand.” He jumped up the table again, this time landing feet first and facing them, half-bowing with the pens he took from them just earlier offered in his hand.

“A fool’s errand,” he said, eyes twinkling, “or a quest for the wisest of men.”

Eugenia and Hector stared at their father, and then at each other, before taking the pens from their father’s hand.

5.

 In your last letter to me, you told me that a man’s worth is what he is, added to what he does. Then tell me this, Magus. What if that is not enough?

 Gen, I thought your knowledge of mathematics is better than that.

 If addition is not enough, then try multiplication.

1.

“Ah, no,” Stenides said, looking over Gen’s shoulder. “That three should not be there.”

“No?”

“No,” Stenides answered, pointing at the calculations in front of his little brother. “See how you didn’t carry over that one,” he moved his fingers to the next number, “and so this one should have been four.”

Eugenides looked at the paper in silence for a moment, and then let out a string of curses that he definitely should not have heard yet, let alone repeat. But of course, Gen being Gen, he has, and Sten couldn’t help but chuckle along.

After he finished his string of curses, Gen moaned, “I’m never going to get it.”

“I thought you’re going to be the next Thief of Eddis?” Stenides teased. “How are you going to do that when you can’t even do additions?”

His little brother looked at him with murder in his eyes, however, and Sten quickly raised his hands in surrender. Eugenides’s revenge was already legendary, no matter how young the boy still was.

“I joke, I joke!” he said. Then, he smiled down at his little brother, ruffled his hair, and said, “You’ll get it. I know you would.”

[fatesdeepdive]

Entry 53: Home Sweet Abusive Home

I unlocked the Conquest version of My Castle at the end of the last chapter. It’s basically the same; there are different building styles, Lilith attacks instead of heals, the shops sell Nohrian weapons instead of Hoshidan ones, etc. I’m going to be ignoring castle stuff this time and instead analyzing classes.

Class Profile - Nohr Prince/Princess

Corrin and Kana’s default class, wields swords and dragon stones. Balanced with good HP and Strength. The class’s first skill, Nobility, boosts EXP gained. The other skill, Dragon Fang, gives a skill stat determined chance to do a special attack that does 1.5 damage. Dragon Fang also has unique animations that have Corrin attacking with dragon arms. Design wise, the black and white stripes are nice but a bit busy. The cape is nice, but the random slits over the princess version’s thighs are dumb.

Class Profile - Hoshido Noble

Nohr Prince/Princess’s promotion in Birthright and an optional promotion in Revelation. Stat wise, it has better Strength, Skill, and Defense than its Nohrian counterpart, as well as the ability to use staves. It’s first ability, Dragon Ward, gives nearby allies a luck based chance to half damage taken. This fits with its more supportive role. On the other hand, its second ability Hoshidan Unity gives a 10% boost to the activation rate of all skills. Design wise, it’s a silver and gold version of Corrin’s normal design with a few details that make it look more Hoshidan. It’s a great design, assuming you ignore the fact that the female version isn’t wearing pants.

Class Profile - Nohr Noble

The Conquest version of Hoshido Noble. Has slightly better Speed, Magic, and Resistance, as well as the ability to use tomes. Its first skill, Draconic Hex, lowers the stats of enemies after combat. The other skill, Nohrian Trust, is really interesting, allowing Corrin to use the battle skills of supporting allies. I love the black coloring with hints of magenta and the tattered cape, but I have to groan at the cleavage and continued lack of pants for female units. Also something I noticed: Nohr Nobles have a shield on their left shoulder, while Hoshidans have a shield on their right shoulder. It’s a nice little detail.

Also, you know how I stole Rinkah and Sakura’s weapons? The damn game gave them back!

Conquest Chapter 7: A Dragon’s Decree

Moron and his Nohrian siblings return to Castle Krakenburg. Garon praises Xander for invading Hoshido. Xander brings up Moron, who Garon apparently can’t see from ten feet away, and Garon is shocked that Moron isn’t dead. Garon yells at Moron for coming home and accuses him of being a spy. Xander insists Moron is loyal and brings up the fight with Ryoma. Iago believes this to be a ruse, which makes sense. He did that shit in Birthright.

Moron asks about the exploding sword. Garon very convincingly pretends to know nothing. Garon uses the fact that Moron is suspicious of the repeated attempts on his life as evidence that Moron is a traitor and orders Xander to execute him. So glad we came back.

Camilla and Elise beg for mercy and Xander refuses to kill his brother. Iago says that makes Xander a traitor, too. Moron says he’ll kill himself to protect Xander. Garon, overjoyed at the idea of suicide, decides to leave it up to Anankos, the dragon god who was mentioned like once in Birthright. Anankos whispers to Garon to spare Moron, if he passes a test. Moron must suppress a rebellion in the ice tribe to prove his loyalty, without any help from his siblings or the Nohrian military. Something about Moron going off alone to enemy territory to prove his loyalty feels oddly familiar...hope this isn’t secretly a ploy to kill Moron again.

Xander says that taking out an entire army singlehandedly is impossible. Moron agrees to the mission. After Moron leaves, Garon monologues about how Moron is going to lose all hope and wish for death. Real glad we chose to side with Nohr, this truly was the right decision.

Xander, hearing Garon say evil shit out loud, does not decide to stop working for Garon. He says he knows what he has to do, but spoiler alert, it isn’t overthrow his evil father.

Moron goes through the woods of the Forlorn, where you fight Leo in Birthright, with only Lilith accompanying him. Faceless show up and attack, surrounding Moron. Felicia shows up and takes one out with a dagger. Moron points out that he had to destroy Felicia’s friends and family without help, but shrugs it off because they aren’t technically at the Ice Village yet.

This battle is actually pretty good, taking on a ton of enemies with only two units. At the start of turn three, Silas and Elise show up to rescue Corrin. At the start of turn four, Elise’s retainers Arthur and Effie join them. Arthur mentions that he’s late because a bird stole his map and Effie’s late because her armor made her sink into the swamp. Elise mentions that Xander planned out this rescue behind Garon’s back.

Arthur

Arthur is Talitu's rude Wind Mage son...wait, wrong Arthur. Arthur is a Monk who...okay, once more time. Arthur is Elise’s unlucky but heroic Fighter retainer. I love Arthur as a character, this boisterous, cheesy, superhero fighting for justice. His design has this massive lantern jaw and he wears a superhero costume with a cape. His personal skill, Misfortune, makes critical hits more likely on both him and his enemies. This is fitting for the running gag of him being supernaturally unlucky, something reflected in gameplay by him having an abysmal luck stat.

Effie

Elise’s other retainer, a Knight. She seems to be a protective warrior. Honestly, I didn’t pick up too much about her personality because I was distracted by her utterly monstrous strength star. Effie is buff. Her personal skill, Puissance, pairs well with this by boosting her damage if she’s far stronger than an enemy. Personally, I’m not too fond of Effie’s design. Her face feels to girly and looks like she’s wearing make-up, which doesn’t match her personality. The big shoulder pads look weird and the boob plate is eye-roll inducing. At least it’s better than her Heroes design, which is atrocious.

After battle, Felicia volunteers to lead us to her village. The camera pans over to reveal Iago was responsible for the faceless attack. Because he’s an evil asshole who I hate.

Also I grabbed Mozu between chapters.

Support: Corrin/Elise

C: Corrin stumbles upon Elise practicing punching in a field. Elise insists she's just picking flowers because she's sweet. Eventually, Elise admits that she's training so she won't be a burden to the army.

B: Corrin trains Elise to grow stronger. Elise struggles to do push-ups.

A: Elise sobs about being pathetic. Corrin insists that war isn't about fighting, it's about having a pure desire for peace. The amount of people Corrin kills contradicts this.

S: Corrin gives Elise flowers to propose to her. I vomit.

Review: Setting aside the incestuous pedophilia that ends this one, not bad. I think Elise works more than Sakura because at least she’s entertaining when complaining about being a burden.

Support: Arthur/Felicia

C: Felicia tells Arthur she's a bad maid because she's incompetent and clumsy. Arthur relates.

B: Arthur explains that the best way to deal with problems is to be carefree. As he walks, he almost slips on a banana peel (despite the army not storing bananas) and is swarmed by mosquitos (which don't exist in this region).

A: Arthur tells a story of a time he tried to save a drowning person, hit his head, and almost drowned. The person he tried to save was helped by someone else. Arthur explains that he and Felicia shouldn't worry about mishaps.

S: Arthur asks Felicia to meet with him so he can propose. They fall in a pit, Setsuna style, and Felicia accidentally freezes Arthur's fingers so he can't get the ring out of his pocket.

Review: Paring up these absolute messes of people is hilarious.

Support: Mozu/Silas

C: Mozu asks Silas if she should just leave the army and go back home (to the corpse filled ruins of her village I guess) because she isn't very strong. Silas volunteers to train her to be stronger.

B: Mozu says Silas shouldn't waste time training her. Silas tells her her "I'm too weak to be good" mindset is holding her back and that her wasting her potential is a sin against her murdered parents. Goddamn.

A: Mozu, believing she has potential, improves. Silas says he wasn't talented as a kid and only became a good knight because he never gave up. Mozu promises to cook for him.

S: Silas proposes so he can have pie every day. Mozu fantasizes about killing people with S-Rank pair up bonuses.

Review: Not bad, but needed a certain spark to be great. Silas telling Mozu that attitude is everything is interesting, but it kinda falls off towards the end.

Support: Effie/Jakob

C: Jakob bakes a cake for Corrin. Effie eats it. Jakob tries to physically stop her but she shrugs off everything he throws at her.

B: Effie works out by lifting water barrels and tells Jakob that she needs to be strong so she can protect her friends, even if it costs her her own life. Jakob says he doesn't want her to die for him because he'd have to spend the rest of his life feeling guilty. Ugh!

A: Effie says that she can't not protect him because they're friends. Jakob says that's fine, just don't die in the process.

S: Jakob bakes a cake with protein powder instead of flour to propose to Effie. Effie says she isn't going to marry him for his baking skills, but for his good heart.

Review: Pretty good. Effie is amusing throughout this Support and the discussion of dying for friends is nice.

[starker-au]

His Tyrant

tw mentioned kidnapping, mentions of sobriety, mentions of blood, drabble for this.

With hindsight, Peter should have seen the request to join the King for dinner coming. Stark would not let him waste away alone in his room forever. He enjoyed Peter's company too much and enjoyed having him by his side. Though it didn't stop him from getting desperate for a chance to leave the room before now. He'd picked at his bed frame until the wood had chipped and inevitably broken into sharp little sticks and the next time his door had opened to allow a maid and guard in he had lunged towards their neck until the wood broke skin.

The blood hadn't stopped him, he had seen Stark come home with much of it on his clothes that he's been desensitized by it from a young age, but what stopped him were the three other guards waiting outside his door, as if Stark had been expecting Peter to make such a move. The next day he was shackled to the wall while they replaced his bed frame. Peter had narrowed his eyes at its material, it was wood- maybe a stronger type but it was wood and he knew deep down that the king wanted deeply for Peter to strike again, to hurt someone the way he does when he's conquering land and beheading their leaders.

He'd refrained from doing it again, desperate to defy the man in any small way he could and Peter had also hoped that the man would get bored after a few weeks of no attempts at escaping, and he had and now Peter was being led towards the dining room where Stark was waiting with a plate in front of himself and one beside him. 

"Duck breast with pomegranate glaze and a side of sliced potatoes," Tony says, a lazy grin plastered on his face as he taunts, "I'm sure this will be a much nicer meal than the ones you've had over the past couple of weeks"

Bread and porridge, foods that were no doubt given to him to make him compliant and receptive. His stomach aches with hunger but he narrows his eyes at the glass of water Tony sips while he waits for Peter to take his seat next to him.

"Something so important you'd stay sober, your majesty?"

Tony purses his lips across from him as he sits, disapproval etched into his features while he grabs his fork and picks up slices of duck on it. Peter knew the title struck a nerve and wanted to push more to see just how much he could retaliate before he pushed too much but if he wanted to eat with his hands shackle free he knew he couldn't push further.

"Please," Tony purrs, twisting his body towards Peter and looked down at the boys shackled wrist which kept him from eating properly, "we are far from needing formalities with each other, darling"

Peter contains his reaction of disgust and denies Tony the satisfaction he would take from it. Tony starts speaking again before Peter can.

"-but we're not having dinner together to discuss things like formalities. I wanted to discuss the ball that I'm throwing tomorrow night" 

"You're kiddi-!"

Tony shushes him with a raise of his hand and a pointed look that Peter was used to receiving whenever Tony thought the boy was being rude.

"In a way our relationship is public, to the people and to the other kingdoms, you're my son," Tony says, "and appearances need to be kept and I'm not asking for your obedience but ordering it"

You'll be silent and compliant is what he means, Peter thinks. Stark couldn't throw a ball for appearances without people noticing his darling "son" is missing but he wouldn't allow Peter to spread what he deemed lies to other kingdoms. He often wondered though, in the captivity of his room, which of the kingdoms were his real family, if they knew, if they are even alive. Peter wants to ask but he knew he wouldn't receive an answer.

"Why have a ball then? If you're so worried I'll spread the truth" Peter asks instead and Tony smiles, a crooked grin.

"I have an announcement too big to just send in letters"

Tony doesn't elaborate further, instead he grabs Peter's plate and pulls it towards himself. It's almost in slow motion to Peter as he watches the man pick up his fork and put food on it and then presents the fork to Peter's mouth. Peter knows he's wrong when he lifts his shackled hands to take the fork and Stark pulls it back. The King's eyes are dark, hooded, and Peter had only seen him like this a few times before.

Once before when Peter had taken down his sword instructor, another when he had defended the man's actions against another kingdom, and the last one Peter remembered vividly when he had decided agreeing to a marriage proposal for the sake of Tony not having to go to war, He had not been as pleased with Peter's decision as he had thought he'd be.

The fork is pushed toward him again when he puts his hands down and it takes Peter a few seconds for him to obediently open his mouth for Tony, his eyes flickering between the fork and the man holding it. Tony fed him his plate and then took Peter back to his room himself.

When a guard opened the door to his room, Peter saw the suit laying on his dresser. Red and gold. Tony closed the door and Peter turned towards him, he wore the same expression he had when he'd lifted the fork to Peter's lips earlier.

"You'll look so pretty in my colors" 

Peter grimaces and turns around again toward the suit, he traces his fingers over the gold markings.

"Your colors aren't meant for me" Peter says. He expects Stark's expression to turn bitter just as it had when Peter denied being his. Instead he smiles and comes over to stand behind the boy, mimicking the hand movements Peter had made over the fabric.

"They are," Tony says, let's his breath ghost over Peter's ear when he adds, "just not in the way you think"

He steps away from Peter slowly, turning the boy around to face him and picking his shackled hands up to carefully free them for the night with a key from his pocket. When the last shackle around his wrist is unlocked Peter almost decides to strike Stark and run for it but Tony takes his hand and starts thumbing with his ring finger fondly. Tony has looked at him fondly many times before, Peter can't think of many times he hasn't, but whereas before he had basked in it comfortably, now it only makes him shiver and want to back away.

Tony took his time though, admiring Peter's hand in his, but once he was done he placed a kiss on the boy's temple- almost like before when things were normal- that Peter cringed away from. Tony leaves towards the door after he tells Peter:

"Get your sleep. Big day tomorrow for both of us, darling."

Then the lights go off and the door closes and Peter can't do much else other than listen to his father.

[authoratmidnight]

I saw that photoset with the sculptures of Medusa carrying Perseus’ head on my dash earlier and it bubbled up an idea in my head.

I wonder how many people actually know the myth of Perseus and the context behind him beheading Medusa?

The short version is, he was sent on a suicide mission to bring back the head of Medusa with the promise that if he succeeded Polydectes (the king of the island they lived on) would back off and not marry his mother (the king wanted to marry Danaë but she was uninterested + Perseus could tell he was a rotten, dishonourable man and wanted to stop said marriage from happening). The king could not kill Perseus himself for fear/risk of drawing the ire of Zeus, the boy’s father, so he sent him on a task that he believed would simply get him killed in the process.

So consider, Perseus finds himself given this task, this impossible, sure to kill him task. He receives his help from the gods-the winged sandals, the sword, the mirror-like shield, the helm of darkness(invisibility) and the sack with which to carry the head. He gets the Graeae to tell him the whereabouts of the island home of the Gorgons. And he finds Medusa, asleep and unguarded by the seaside.

It’s an easy kill, she’s asleep and her sisters are no where to be found. One swing is all it would take.

But Perseus IS an honourable man, a good man. And what honour is there is decapitating a sleeping victim? With his shield as a mirror and sword at her neck he falters, sure this Gorgon may be a monster, but would killing an unarmed, (well mostly, the snakes that make up her hair are still awake so he could still be turned to stone if not careful, hence the use of the shield as a mirror) individual in their sleep, at they lie prone, be any more honourable? Would it make him any better than the king who sent him to die?

So he falters, the blade scratches her and she awakes abruptly.

Hidden by the helm she can’t see him or the weapon, but she knows he’s there.

Instead, he begs. He drops to his knees and begs for her help. Help to save his mother, the only family he has, to save her from an unwanted marriage to a cruel man (after all it’s the king, even though Danaë is technically a princess-from another land-she can’t really refuse the king’s proposal). A man that would unflinchingly send his bride to be’s child to his death is not a man he wants his mother marrying. Her head however is the only way to save his mother.

Medusa is, skeptical. At first. She doesn’t like men (and rightly so) but his words ring with sincerity, he does seem to truly care. And as it is, he could have killed her when he had the chance but did not. He spared her.

So decides to help him, it sounds like king is a right piece of work anyways and this sort of thing is right up her alley, putting a shitty man in his place. But if he should slip up she will turn him to stone, no hesitation.

Along the way they stop and save Andromeda, chained to a rock to be fed to a monster b/c of her mother’s arrogance and boastfulness. Neither Perseus nor Medusa have any inclination to just leave her there so rescuing her was all but inevitable.

Pegasus is born here, when Medusa is wounded and her blood mixes with the sea and the winged horse springs forth, and the horse aids them in their trip back the rest of the way (esp now that they have Andromeda. While Perseus had the winged sandals and Medusa wings (like her sisters), Andromeda has nothing.

So Perseus arrives home, weary but alive, and tailed by a lovely princess, a winged horse and a mystery woman whose face is hidden. He declares that he has brought back the head of Medusa as promised, so the wedding is to be called off.

The king scoffs and demands, of course, to see it, to see proof that Perseus has indeed brought the head of the Gorgon back. So Perseus obliges and removes the covering from his companion’s head, revealing the Gorgon herself, and turning the king and his party goers to stone (Danaë having fled to the safety of a temple just to get away from the king). After all, the king never said he had to bring back *just* the head.

With the king now dead, his brother-the one who rescued Perseus and his mother when they washed up on their shores all those years ago and basically raised Perseus-is made king. Perseus knows that he at least is kind and honourable (also married already).

Medusa is returned to her island home to continue living, unbothered by anyone else, as the only ones who know the island’s whereabouts are Perseus and the Graeae, and neither of them has reason to tell anyone where Medusa and the Gorgons live (least of all the Graeae, sisters to the gorgons).

Perseus and Andromeda are properly wed and live together happily, and eventually, along with his mother, returns to Perseus’ homeland to properly claim his birthright and the throne there (after of course, returning all the gifts the gods lent him).

[shepard-ram]

Warning; bad grammar, blood, cheating

Wilbur and y/n has been together for quite some time now, it was obvious to everyone that you two were so in love with each other! Soon after months of being together, Wilbur decided to propose to you and you accepted of course! When Wilbur introduced Fundy to you, Fundy didn't like you immediately, but by spending time with you he has grown to love you. However, every love story has to have an obstacle in order to give te story some spice right? The only difference in this love story would be that there won't be a happy ending, but we will save that for later. When Dream and his friends came along, Dream noticed you, you were next to a tree talking to Niki, and god you looked absolutely stunning. When Dream saw that ring on your finger and Wilbur being too close for his liking, he quickly put two and two together and knew what had to be done.. Now here comes the surprise.. While Sapnap was busy, he came across Wilbur and another girl doing questionable things considering that he's married to another person.. When Sapnap told that to Dream and gave him some photos for proof, he was excited and giddy since with proof you'd be able to brake up with him and get with him! The only thing to do now is to find your whereabouts and the acting, but that should be easy. Meanwhile, you were in a forest, picking some berries and looking for a village, you got the berries by instead of looking for a village, you found a man who was wearing a mask with a smiley face.. Even though his mask is a smiley face, it gives off an eerily vibe, so you decided to stay cautious.. Now you knew of the war, you just never knew of the one who caused it though.. Guess Wilbur forgot that important piece didn't he? Anywho, the masked man had a frown etched upon his face, "What's the manner sir?" You asked hesitately. "Are you y/n?" He asked, "Yes..? What do you need?" you said as you walked a few blocks away from the man, now you were silently panicking, how did he know your name? Hell how did he even know of your whereabouts he doesn't even look tired!? "I have something surprising to show you." "Go on.." You were slightly curious, but not that much as it could've easily be a trap. "Here" he said as he gave you photos. You gasped, the photos showed your husband and a girl kissing.. There were a few more photos showing your husband and the same girl doing romantic things that Wibur had done to you.. The only difference was that it looked like he looked so much happier than when he's with you.. You were heartbroken, you loved Wilbur, and Fundy- oh poor Fundy, he doesn't even know what's going on! Heartbroken wasn't all that you felt, you also felt rage bubbling inside of you, how could he do this?! Even after all the love, affection and nights you spent together he still did this monstrosity?! "Its a shame indeed, I'm sorry that you had to face this the hard way.." He said, wiping the tears that we're starting to fall down your face. "I could help you take revenge, I can treat you so much better than he did.." This was a perfect chance to take revenge on Wilbur, who knows how many people know of his little affair and decided to keep quiet. "I accept your invitation for revenge, but just know that I'm only here for revenge, not for you.." You wanted this right? So why did you feel slightly guilty about it..?

Wilbur had his back behind a wall, dead end.. He's stuck.. Due to Eret's betrayal, everyone is dead, one is left and that's Wilbur.. However, he was injured badly, he he blood coming from his left ear, hearing everything like it's underwater, he also had blood coming down from the side of his head.. Just when Wilbur was about to relax, a pressure was placed on his neck, he quickly opened his eyes and to his surprise, it was y/n holding a sword to his neck, ready to slice it in a couple of seconds.. "Y/n.." Wilbur was shocked, betrayal washed over him, out of everyone, why does it have to be his partner?.. "Why.." He said weakly, almost in a whisper, "You were out of my league Wilbur.."

Wilbur was slain by y/n

-🍓🥛

Repeat my last comment bdhdshe

[omnivorousshipper]

Request Friday: I think you’ve done similar stories but my mind was thinking arranged marriage + Pirate King Luke with a glorious beard. Maybe Mama Shaw wants to smuggle her goods via the pirate king’s fleet and to broker a relationship between them she offers her eldest?

I’ve just got the mental image of Luke dripping in gold and jewels, sitting fiercely on his throne cutting quite the figure when Deckard is escorted into the room to help sway negotiations and Luke is captivated—wants nothing more than to wrap him in silks and jewels, spoil him utterly rotten. Owen isn’t happy about their mum’s plans for Deck but is distracted by Pirate Captain Roman (I’m sure an absurd nickname)!cutting quite the figure.

Hattie decked out in swashbuckling gear, threatening idiots with her sword/daggers/gun when they try to hit on her. (A deadlier Elizabeth Swan)

I LOVE EVERYTHING ABOUT THIS FRIEND!

I have such a weak spot for Luke beard, especially when it's salt and pepper. And omg, Deckard given up as a sacrifice is hilarious

And Hattie as Elizabeth Swan??? SIGN ME THE FUCK UP

~~~

Looking over several papers, Queenie Shaw narrowed her eyes at them. The numbers weren't adding up to what she had been hoping for

She would have to go with her backup plan

Sighing, she waved on of her servants out front the corner she had been quietly embroidering in. The woman lifted her skirts in a curtsey as she bowed

"Please bring my daughter to me." Queenie said in a clipped tone

"Right away, madam." The woman scurried out of the room, barely making any noise

Pinching the bridge of her nose, Queenie knew what she need to do, but it all relied on what she could convince of her children

Glancing out of the large windows, Queenie could hear the laughter of the servants' children. Looking at the clock, Queenie knew it was the normal time Deckard would sit them down for a lesson

She never really understood his want to teach them how to read. Even their parents didn't know

After a few minutes of listening to the soft murmur of voices outside in the gardens, the door to her office finally opened to reveal the servant gesturing Hattie inside

Queenie couldn't help the prideful smile that spread across her face as she took her daughter in

Hattie looked like a right pirate

"Something the matter, mum?" She asked, throwing herself into a seat and leaning back provocatively. Any other lady would have yelled at her scandalous behavior. Queenie simply raised an eyebrow

"I wanted your opinion on a matter." Queenie said slowly. "What are your thoughts on the pirate king?"

"Hobbs?"

"Yes."

"He's an alright bastard." Hattie said thoughtfully. "Looks after his people and keeps them in line when need be. He's cutthroat but fair. Why are you asking about him?"

"Because I want to strike up a deal with him."

"What kind of deal?" Hattie asked slowly, eyed narrowed in suspicion

"Trade has been going down recently. Too many imperial arseholes sticking their noses in my trade routes recently, causing them to dry up. I need new routes and the only ones I can find are through Hobbs' territory."

"Thats a lot of risk for him to take, he won't do that for cheap." Hattie looked over her mother carefully. "What are you planning on giving him? He'll need more than money."

"I know." Queenie nodded. Leaning back, she crossed her arms and fixed her daughter with a careful look

"What?"

"Hobbs is a widower, correct?"

"Yes? Mum, if you think I would ever-"

"Not you." Queenie cut her off quickly with a sharp gesture. "Deckard."

"Mum!" Hattie yelped. "You can't just sell him like some kind of mare!"

"I'm not!" Queenie hissed

"Then what are you doing?" Hattie snapped. "Because if you think Hobbs will let him leave, you're dead wrong! Pirates are selfish mum!"

"I'm assuming you know from experience?" Queenie drawled, purposely looking her daughter up and down

"Yes." Hattie met her eyes and glared. "Yoi are not shoving my brother into some arranged marriage."

Queenie met her gaze evenly

"And what if I told you that if we don't get those trade routes, all that I have built will crumb?"

"What?" Hattie blinked at her

Queenie didn't look happy to reveal what she said next

"We need to keep our illegal dealings going, but the empire and the king's men have started to notice. If they do, they'll come after our whole family. I can't let that happen, Hatts."

"But, Deck-"

"Can slit Hobbs' throat in a few years if it comes to that."

Hattie's face twisted in discomfort

"I don't want to send him into that, mum."

"I know dear." Queenie sighed. "And that's why I want you and Oh to escort Deckard there yourselves."

Hattie looked out the window, where Queenie had been looking out earlier

"Think we could convince Deck to wear his favorite dress to meet Hobbs?"

"Doubtful. He only wears them in our presence." Queenie chuckled, but felt her heart clench

Their family's business might thrive, but would her son?

---

Sitting on his throne, Luke played with a gold coin as he listened to the squabbles of lower ranked pirates. Head rested in his other hand, Luke couldn't wait for the pirate court to be called to a stop

Just another reason he wished Jonah had become the pirate king. Luke would rather he be the one sailing across the seas every day with his crew and daughter

But no, he was trapped helping other pirates deal with their own shit

Deciding to just take one pirate's side for no particular reason, Luke was interrupted by a party of three people walking into the hall

Luke peered at them closely

He only really recognized one of them

Hattie Shaw was one of the cruelest and efficient pirates Luke has seen in over a decade. She ran a tight ship and was fear by every sailor that came across her. Too bad she still held ties to her family, or else Luke would have asked her to join his fleet a long time ago

Standing next to her were two men. Neither really screamed pirate like Hattie did, instead they were in plain clothes. But it didn't hide the weapons on the taller man, who was practically hovering over the smaller man protective

But it was that smaller man Luke couldn't take his eyes off

He was absolutely gorgeous

The candlelight seemed to soften his harsh expression and enhanced how sharp his cheekbones were. He held himself with a sense of dignity, even when wearing a plain white shirt and black trousers

No. The man deserved to be covered in gold and jewels. He should be wrapped in the finest silk and laid on the softest sheets

Luke mentally went through the many pieces of stolen jewelry he had that he could drape over the man. He had a large diamond necklace, almost collar like, that would suit the man perfectly

Lost to his fantasies, Luke felt someone poke his shoulder. Looking up, Luke sheepishly met the harsh glare Letty was sending him

"What's your decree, King Luke?" She said through clenched teeth. Luke had a feeling she'd been trying to get his attention for a while

"You." Luke pointed at random between the two feuding pirates. "You were in the right. Whatever it is, you get it."

With a wave of his hand, Luke dismissed them and didn't care if he had been right or not

"You three!" Luke called out, staring at Hattie and the two men. "Come forward and speak your piece."

Luke could hear the irritated hiss Letty let out. Probably upset that he let people cut the line

Too bad, he was a pirate and would do what he wanted

With her chin held high, Hattie led the two men towards them. As they enter more of the candlelight, Luke couldn't keep his eyes off the smaller man

If it was possible, he looked even more attractive closer up

Luke already knew which golden bracelets would adorn the man's arms

"What brings you here, Shaw?" Luke asked curiously. "Usually you don't need anything from me."

"Not usually, no." Hattie said, her face serious. "But, my mother has a proposal for you."

"Go on."

"You allow her transport ships through your waters."

"And for me?"

"My brother's hand in marriage."

Luke sat up eagerly

And felt like the luckiest man on earth when the smaller man pushed past the other man and closer to Luke

He held his head up as he met Luke's eyes in a challenge

Luke smiled, showing all of his teeth

"I accept."

---

The words seemed to ring out in the large hall

And echoed inside of Deckard's head, making his ears ring

What?

With wide eyes, Deckard stared up at the pirate king who simply leaned back into his throne

He didn't want to admit it, but the image had Deckard salivating

Luke Hobbs was a large man with muscles bigger than Deckard's head, and they shown beautifully in the candlelight, along with the gold that hung off his body

His powerful arms were free of cloth and had gold arm bands with blue rocks embedded in them. Deckard couldn't help but stare at the sight

"You may wait in my chambers while I discuss the details with your sister." Hobbs told him, breaking Deckard out of his staring

Blinking, Deckard wanted to glare at the man for dismissing him so easily, but he held his tongue

Especially when he saw the heated look the king was sending him

Deckard felt himself blush heavily. It was as if the man was undressing him simply by staring at him

A woman broke away from the crowd watching the proceedings

"I'll take him there, Luke." She said, bowing her head slightly

"Thank you, Ramsey."

Looking over at the woman, Deckard found himself relaxing slightly at her smile

Maybe being married off to a pirate wouldn't be the worst thing in the world

---

Owen frowned as he watched Deckard be escorted away from them. He wanted to follow after them, but the firm grip Hattie had on his arm told him not to

Grinding his teeth, Owen stayed put as Hattie dragged them towards a corner of the hall

Hobbs would discuss their contract further once he was done with the court

"I don't like this. It shouldn't be this easy." Owen hissed

"Maybe it can be." Hattie whispered back. "Now quiet."

Leaning against the wall, Owen watched the court carefully to gain any information

And soon found his attention on one pirate specifically

And can you really blame him, when the pirate's name was Roman 'Barnacle Whisperer' Pearce?

That was a story Owen wanted to get his hands on. And maybe the man himself

---

Stepping into a huge, lavish room, Deckard swallowed thickly. Was this really where Hobbs slept? Even Deckard's rooms at home weren't this big!

He heard the door close as Ramsey left him alone to admire everything. Sitting on a lavish couch, Deckard took a deep breath

No doubt in a few days Deckard would be married to the man who owned all this

It was a little overwhelming

Lost in thought, Deckard jumped when he heard the door open again. And revealed a small girl

Deckard met her curious gaze

"Who are you?" She asked

"Deckard."

"Are you a friend of my dad?"

"Kind of." Deckard coughed. He could only assume she meant Hobbs

"What're you doing here?"

"Waiting for him."

"Want to wait together?"

"I'd love the company." Deckard smile and was pleased to see the girl smile back. "And what's your name?"

"Sam." She skipped over to him and looked him over. "You look really plain."

Deckard blinked at her. And looked over the jewels and gold she was wearing. Definitely Hobbs' daughter

"Dad wouldn't mind if you wore a few things of his." Sam smiled at him and grabbed his hand. "Come on."

Frowning, Deckard let Sam pull him further into the rooms

---

Entering his chambers, Luke let out a sigh

He hated haggling deals. Especially when it came to two overly protective siblings. At least Owen Shaw had been distracted by Roman

Looking around the front room, Luke frowned. Where was the third Shaw, Deckard?

For a moment, Luke was scared Ramsey had taken him for herself. But as he listened closely, he could hear laughter from his bedroom

Quietly walking towards the room, Luke could hear Sam's voice

"You look so pretty!"

"Thank you, as do you." A man's voice responded

Luke could clearly hear the joy in both of their voices. Poking his head into the room, Luke felt his heart skip a beat

Sam was kneeling on a chair as she rummaged through his chest of jewels, while Deckard Shaw stood next to her and allowed her to dress him any jewelry she didn't wear herself

Luke's eyes immediately zeroed in on the diamond collar around Deckard's neck

Looked like Sam had had the same idea

Deckard Shaw would be theirs

Leaning against the doorway, Luke stayed quiet as he watched his future husband and daughter

~~~

I hope you enjoyed friend!!

[queenofthefullmoon]

An exhaustive list of Dark Souls 3 bosses I would or would not date

Iudex/Champion Gundyr

We’re starting off this list with a strong yes. Our boy Gundyr has had a hard, difficult life, and he deserves some good company. He’s tall, strong, and I trust him to protect us as we set a lovely camp site outside of the fire link shrine.

Vordt of the Boreal Valley

Vordt is big and he is feral which are truly the only two qualities I look for in a man. Together we’d be unstoppable. I mean, think about how easy it would be to go around with him: just climb on his back and let the rodeo begin, baby. This argument alone should be enough to convince you that Vordt is a suitable boyfriend, but here’s another one: if you get too hot in the summer, worry fucking not for your gigantic man can hold his equally gigantic hammer over you and cover you with snow like an italian man covering his pasta with parmesan.

Cursed Rotted Greatwood

Now while I’m certain it would be a perfect partner for some people, the Cursed Rotted Greatwood isn’t for me. For one, I am not fan of curses, or rot, or weird sticky balls, or strange orange acid, or pale white and slightly viscous hands bursting through a living tree. Secondly, I feel like the crowd of Hollows who group up around the tree would be a big impediment to our intimacy, and I’m not ready to be the mother of 20 Hollows.

Crystal Sage

No offense but you’d be an idiot for not wanting to date the Crystal Sage. All wrapped up in one package, you get a super competent sorcerer bf, who wears the coolest hat in the galaxy and an equally cool cape, and who overall looks like the upgraded version of a plague doctor. In addition to that he also has a pretty rapier so you can both engage in some sparring (which we all know is the most romantic couple activity).

Deacons of the Deep

Probably one of the worst options on the list, they’re all crusty, rotting men moaning around a biggass coffin. There are many technical questions. If I dated a deacon, would I have to date all of them? Can we go out on dates or are they obligated to stay next to the coffin at all times? Can I even date them at all?? Not that I would, because I have standards. The only pro to entering this relationship(s?) would be that I’d probably get one of their robes for free, but the cons are so numerous that I’d rather buy it myself.

Abyss Watchers

Let’s be real and honest even if it hurts. Would I date an Abyss Watcher? Yes. Maybe I’d even date two. However, would an Abyss Watcher date me? No, because they’re all in love with Artorias, and I can’t blame them for that.

Old Demon King

At first I considered dating the Old Demon King like a Russian Instagram model dates an old, rich American man: with a great deal of fake love but above all great patience in order to be the only person on the will. But then I thought about it more, and what does the Old Demon King have to offer, really? A big firework show that will leave him exhausted like the old creature he is, and maybe some pyromancies. Truly, it is not worth it, especially since I’d have to take residence where he lives, in a big old room filled with the corpses of his kin.

High Lord Wolnir

I’ve got nothing against Wolnir personally, but I have no interest in skeletons, nor in his army of skeleton children. As stated above I’m not ready to be a mother. I feel like if we got in an argument and he sighed, he would poison me with his awful breath and I would die a horrible death. Also, living on the brink of the Abyss doesn’t appeal to me that much. However I would like Wolnir to be a good friend I can talk jewelry with because let’s be honest, the man (skeleton?) is blinged the fuck out even in death and I respect that.

Yhorm the Giant

Yes, I would date Yhorm. He was nothing but a sweet, misunderstood giant who always tried to get people to trust him and he convinced me. I would put my life in his big hands. Think of the possibilities. Just like with Vordt he could carry you everywhere but in a less reckless way if you prefer proper manners. You’d never have to worry about not seeing anything at a concert. Also, may I add that waiting for you to show up while sitting on his biggass throne is an absolute power move? Yhorm is a Lord of Cinder, but above all, a Lord of this heart.

Pontiff Sulyvahn

Would I date him because of his appealing aesthetic? Yes. Would I date him for anything else? No. Sulyvahn is absolutely terrifying, completely unhinged in the most frightening way, which is that he doesn’t look bat shit crazy. I could be thinking that everything is going well in our relationship then suddenly he’d lock me in a dungeon then would feed me to his weird friend because I put a fork in the knife drawer. He could pretend to propose and give me a weird fucked up ring with his eye in it and the next thing I know I’d be running in a field on all fours. I don’t trust like that.

Aldritch, Devourer of Gods

I’m so sad about Aldritch because literally everything about him is completely unappealing, unacceptable, unnatural, unholy, abhorrent, but he has the delicate and beautiful face of Gwyndolin. While our lovely Gwyndolin looks gorgeous as ever it doesn’t make up for the fact that Aldritch devoured people and probably wouldn’t find love to be a good reason to not eat his partner. The only reason I can find to have a friendship (not even a romantic relationship) with him is if you really like experimenting with cooking and you really, really need someone to taste your inventions.

Dancer of the Boreal Valley

I feel attraction, which means that just like any other being who feels attraction, I would date the Dancer. She is beautiful, graceful, a bit feral, and would not hesitate to put a flaming knife to my throat, which is the description of my dream woman. Imagine walking the streets with her, trying to hold her hand while it dangles 3 feet above you and she insists on holding her sword, actually, so she might slay anyone who tries to approach you, which she communicates through icy breaths and murmurs. The date of a lifetime.

Oceiros, the Consumed King

Another awful choice on this list, Oceiros is RABID and also, as far as we know, still a married man. You really want to date a man that hasn’t even gone through his divorce but already looks like this? Me neither. I’m already not big on dragon fucking but the fact that he’s all viscous and has weird growths all over him is not helping. Also, he has children, and we know how I feel about that — although, given how he treats them, he probably won’t have kids very soon (too far?).

Ancient Wyvern

So I’ve stated that I’m not very big on dragon fucking. With that said, do I think the wyvern is sexy and beautiful? Absolutely so. You’re probably like « Blue you’re sending mixed signals, are you gonna date the lizard or not? » and to that I say, date? Perhaps not. I would however like to form a lifelong bond with this wonderful force of nature and fight by its side, live a long and fulfilling life travelling along with it, only to die at the same time atop the tallest mountain in the world, where our skeletons will be discovers hundreds of years in the future by brave explorers, who will confirm that the legendary songs that were written about us were in fact not just a myth.

Nameless King

You’ve just read what I said about the wyvern. I feel like the Nameless King really understands me and would respect me for that. We could bond over our love of dragons and other flying scaly beasts and perhaps share some chaste kisses while soaring the sky on our companions. It’s nice to date someone who loves pets as much as you. I feel like he would be a fun guy to hang around in general, maybe he’d let you braid his hair or try on his crown. He can arrange personalized fireworks shows for you with his lightning powers. I don’t think you’d ever be bored around him.  

Dragonslayer Armor

Dating an empty suit of armor has never bothered me (see: ds2 Ruin Sentinels), however I have beef with the dragonslayer armor. Is it a beautiful armor? Perhaps a bit worn off, but the reply remains affirmative. However, it is controlled by Pilgrim Butterflies, which basically means I’m dating one to multiple of these things in the shape of an armor, and I’ve gotta confess that I’m not down for that.

Lorian Older Prince and Lothric Younger Prince

Here comes the delicate moment where we have to make a choice without offending anyone. I personally, speaking for myself, in my own opinion, would rather date Lorian. Reason: he is big, strong, and a bit rabid, which I’ve made very clear is my type. I don’t dislike Lothric, but I feel like we’d be better off as best friends who have a really snarky group chat where we shit talk the entire kingdom. That’s pretty good because if I even just slightly disliked Lothric I’m pretty sure Lorian would sense it and would not hesitate to murder me on sight.

Champion’s Gravetender and Champion Greatwolf

Well the full name is just a formality here, I’m not completely insane so I don’t want to date this rabid wolf. I feel like the Champion’s Gravetender is just a normal dude who’s a bit in over his head and it’s not his fault but he just seems a bit boring compared to all my other options. Instead of a date I think he’d be more of an awkward flirt I had when I was bored and then I came to my senses but didn’t know how to disengage, but in the end it worked out because he was more interested in his work anyway.

Sister Friede and Father Ariandel

Again a choice has to be made and I will have to be predictable and say I’d date Elfriede. Just like Dancer she’s what the woman of my dreams is made of. She’s graceful and could easily take my life and I think it’s awfully sexy of her to be like that. I think I’d be accepted into the family pretty easily, which is important since Father Ariandel cares about Friede so much. I’d go visit him sometimes, play chess with him, bring him his flail, normal interactions with your girlfriend’s dad.

Soul of Cinder

I’m gonna be a tiny bit freaky here and say I’d date the Soul of Cinder. Dating it is just like opening a Kinder Surprise egg, you never know what you’re gonna get (sorry Americans for excluding you here). That makes life exciting and doesn’t let routine stall your relationship. Every day you can wake up with the question « What weapon will my darling walk around with today? The flaming sword, or the sorcery staff? » and be surprised by the answer. Truly ideal, but I understand it’s not for the faint of heart.

Demon Prince

I’m gonna go with a maaaaaaybeeeee? leaning towards no. I mean yes, the Demon Prince is a weird fleshy flaming demon, and that may be a bit gross, but I’ve gotta admit I admire his style, the drama of it all. The care he puts into his entrance, the attitude in his moves. If we don’t date I’d at least want to be friends so he can teach me his ways.

Darkeater Midir

I have very intense and contradictory feelings towards Midir. In one hand, holy shit, absolutely epic dragon, the spirit of companionship is growing in me. On the other hand, this beast is RABID and pretending I could tame him is foolish, and pretentious. I guess in the end the answer remains that I don’t date dragons, I just want to adopt them as my extremely exotic pets.

Halflight, Spear of the Church

Yeah I’d date Halflight, I know it’s the easy answer but look at him. I mean shit he’s walking around like a little thotty with his shirt open and you mean to tell me I’m not supposed to wanna date him because he looks pretty much like a regular dude? My boy Halflight WANTS me to date him or else he would not show up with his tiddies out to a sword fight, which as an activity already has enough erotic implications on its own.

Slave Knight Gael

I’m gonna say it unashamedly and I’ll say it again: I would date Gael. He’s been nothing but helpful and when he tries to attack you it’s to help his little lady that he’s adopted as his niece. We love a chaotic parental figure. Maybe he’s a tad bit old and dirty but there’s nothing a good bath can’t fix and I’m sure he’d appreciate having someone taking care of him for once. Again, he’s got that slightly unhinged quality to him that makes him delightful. When I walk around with my partner I want us to instill both fear and fascination in people which we would be able to accomplish perfectly well.

Dark Souls 1: Remastered date list // Dark Souls 2: Scholar of the First Sin date list

[inkweaver22-blr]

Here's some more info on the Golden Dragon Tang AU! This time going over some of the facts featured in the chapter that people may not want to read.

Tang is under the false assumption that the reason Mei's parents invited him to live with them is to act as a "good influence" for Mei so she can "grow up".

Mei also feels like she's being constantly compared to her cousin by her parents.

Neither of them bring this up to each other and do their best to bury their feelings (Tang's anger at Mei's parents and Mei's bitterness towards Tang).

They still get along really well and Tang does his best to be a buffer between Mei's parents and her.

They finally clear the air between each other when Tang offers to help Mei learn how to wield a sword three months before the start of the show. They still are a bit distant from her parents.

They are, of course, absolutely wrong about her parents' motivations who simply wanted someone close to Mei's age around that she could relate to about being the heir to a powerful dragon clan.

This all gets cleared up during the events of Coming Home.

Tang calls Mei his sister for the first time during the pilot after they return from the volcano ring without MK and fight their way through the bull clones.

She had been cornered and disarmed and he went into a full on raging overprotective Big Brother mode.

Tang's dragon attack is more of a wave of energy as opposed to Mei's focused beam. It does less damage, but covers a wider area.

Tang can also stab the ground with his guandao instead and release the energy into the Earth, allowing him to temporarily manipulate it.

He uses this power to cause spikes of earth to rise up and stab all the clones surrounding Mei.

He fusses over her injury and asks if its okay if he calls her by 'sister' and Mei just launches into him for a hug.

Tang gained the right to use Fang of the Earth six years before the start of the show and has practiced with it pretty much daily since.

He proved himself when he stood up to some stuck up academics/professors at his old college about how knowledge is for everyone and should be freely shared.

Tang is the sensible one between him, Mei, and MK. He still likes to have fun with them though and neither can beat him at DDR.

Tang can be dared into doing some shenanigans though if Mei and MK team up on him.

Tang is in LOVE with Pigsy's cooking and jokingly offers marriage proposals even though they aren't interested in each other due to the age difference. He also pays for his meals and generously tips.

Tang and Mei consider their weapon training to be a special time for them to hang out alone together, but will occasionally spar with MK for fun.

Tang's hero worship for Monkey King is much more toned down.

Tang works at the city's public library and enjoys helping visitors find what they need.

Tang and Sandy enjoy having discussions about different types of meditation techniques and teas. Sandy prefers yoga and sitting still while Tang finds his daily martial arts warm ups to be great for clearing his mind.

That's all I have for now! Maybe more things will pop into my head and I'll share them later. I still need to figure out what his dragon form looks like for example.

Feel free to share any of your own head canons you have!

[hlcreators]

AUTHOR REC: hrrytomlinson / @hrrytomlinson

Don’t forget to show some love and leave kudos and a comment!

Loving with a Little Twist (29k)

“What are you going to do?”

“I don’t know Niall! I just promised my mother I’m bringing my boyfriend - a boyfriend I don’t have - to Thanksgiving dinner. What should I do? I can’t call back and be like, ‘Oh yeah mom, that boyfriend I said that I have, I don’t actually have. Sorry to disappoint you.’ My life is ruined.” Harry returns to suffocating himself with the pillow.

Niall laughs and Harry growls at his best friend’s unwarranted happiness in this life-ending situation. Harry is fucked. Fuck. He needs a boyfriend. Fuck.

(or a thanksgiving themed fake/pretend relationship au)

When You Look Like That (16k)

“You… you still have the dress form I got you for your eighteenth birthday? You've kept it for ten years, Harry?” Louis’ eyes flick around Harry’s studio. It’s big and modern, with floor to ceiling windows that help flood the room in bright sunlight, just like the lobby. However, he can't stop staring at the faded, but present, heart surrounding the “H + L” written delicately in Louis’ handwriting in the center of the mannequin.

Louis is a songwriter who is nominated for a Grammy and he needs a suit. Fast. He seeks out help from a very popular, very mysterious designer who just so happens to be his ex-boyfriend.

Pour Your Heart Out (92.5k)

Louis is his soulmate. Or at least Harry thinks he is. Louis feels the same as Louis. But there are a lot of people named Louis in the world and this Louis might not be the Louis. It’s besides the point though, because Harry knows he can’t allow himself to get close to any boys. He just can’t and he’s told himself this multiple times. He has to simply stay away from Louis Tomlinson. But he can’t. Harry Styles can never stay away from Louis Tomlinson. It’s physically impossible for him to.

How Far We’ve Come (32k)

“This is Harry Styles,” Chiron offers.

He’s beautiful. His eyes are a stunning green, the color of new foliage. The new kid’s limbs are long and lanky—he looks extremely uncomfortable and uncoordinated. Louis internally smirks to himself, guessing the kid probably won’t be too skilled with a sword, or a bow, or anything sharp, most likely. His hair falls to his shoulders in sets of loose, brown curls. The color is rich and luscious, resembling soil so much that it looks like flowers could sprout from his hairline at any moment. But Louis’ eyes are stuck on his soft looking lips, pink as flower petals and slightly parted as his eyes scan the horizon of the camp.

“Welcome to Camp Half-Blood, Harry.”

The World Still Turns (21k)

They had their eyes on the stars.

Harry and Louis have known each other since they were tiny little boys, both wildly obsessed with airplanes, space, and the stars. More than twenty years later, Harry plans to propose to Louis, but when he wakes up, Louis is gone.

Damn the Dark, Damn the Light (20.8k)

“Why is this face of beauty ringing so true?” The genuine confusion in Harry’s voice causes Louis’ chest to painfully twinge. “You’re a complete stranger in my eyes, William Shakespeare, but not in my heart. How is that possible?”

Louis wants to live out every romance plot he has ever written in his own life. He wants to be the protagonist of his own narrative, the hero who finds true love and gets his happy ending. Instead, Louis is stuck with only dreaming of such wild fantasies and writing them down. He can create entire romances in his dreams, yet he can never live one.

Patience, Please (4.1k)

The blue sky was quite beautiful, but nowhere near as beautiful as the blue of Louis’ eyes. Harry had never noticed it before this day, but now that he had, he would never see them the same way ever again. Heart pounding, palms damp, nerves twitching; it was at that moment that Harry had realized he fell in love with his childhood best friend.

[the-sin-of-hyacinth]

hello everyone! ♡♡♡ im not new to astrology/tarot tumblr in general but this is my very first astrology/tarot blog.

i plan on reblogging and posting educational and fun things about astrology and tarot and general witch stuff.

so the first thing i wanted to do is a pick a card reading.

the focus? a person you're about to meet in the near future.

i don't have a lot of time so ill have to do this quickly but let's get into it. ♡♡♡

so here are the piles. focus your energy and look into your heart and try to sense which pile you want to pick.

the first pile is rose quartz, the second pile is amethyst, and the third pile is obsidian.

once you have picked a pile look under the cut for your prediction ☆☆

♡◇♡◇♡◇♡

pile #1~

so it seems this reading mostly has to do with love and resilience.

if you can see in the second photo, my angel coin landed on scorpio, which a very intense and some people even say a very dangerous or ill-intentioned sign. some people even refuse to interact with scorpios bc of how mean they can be and how much they like causing other people problems just to stir the hypothetical pot.

but you can also see cupid's arrow and the rose and sword card in the first photo which spells out an irresistible attraction, either to this striking scorpio or towards you from them. maybe you even are a scorpio yourself! who knows?

the phoenix card however in my view points towards this ending in disaster, as things with scorpios sometimes tend to for the reasons listed above, and towards the necessity in this situation for one or both of you to conjure within yourself the spirit of the phoenix, which is a mythological fire bird of rebirth and recovery and healing. a phoenix always rises from the ashes, and so must you or they depending on who might hurt who. (disclaimer: i mostly get this energy bc this is traditionally what the phoenix represents. but it could also represent you healing with this new partner, or that the rough patches in your relationship will be intense and difficult to recover from.)

the person themselves comes off like a scorpio, in that they are very deceptive and secretive. the golden mirror card insinuates mirroring, which if deliberate could point towards equally deliberate manipulation and deceit. the runner and the house of cards also insinuate that they run from their problems instead of facing them head-on and they see everyone around them as an object that they can use to get what they want out of life.

all in all,be careful with this new person. they're spicy!

pile #2~

ok so if you picked this pile, then your person should be a gemini or have heavy gemini in their chart, and maybe come from across waters from another country !!

so immediately with the heartbroken and engagement ring cards i see someone who was just recently heartbroken and is currently hardcore looking for love and that they might be quick to propose and settle down even if the other part of them knows that that might come off as rushing. they still have a bleeding wound. and they're looking for someone who can heal them.

they also might be very busy with work or with travel plans when you first meet them, or even be/been delayed by the violent storms that have been going on recently. so keep an eye out for that.

the twin flame card is very important bc it insinuates that this person is your twin flame, someone that you're destined to meet in this lifetime whose soul is the other half of yours. they are a very important soulmate to meet, and there is only one like them in the world so be careful not to make them upset and lose them!!

in general this person seems very well-meaning but they might be quick to rush into things romantically, be severely emotionally damaged, and have a tumultuous time entering your country.

pile #3~

so, this person is either a cancer or has heavy cancer influence in their chart. they apparently dislike coffee and talking, and turns out they might be just as dangerous as the scorpio if not moreso.

yes, i get ill-intentioned vibes from this person 100%. very grumpy and spoiled and daddy's little brat vibes. they also are not a soulmate of yous but they may portray themselves as one. though perhaps this person is only the way they are bc no one gives them attention, and they are a soulmate of yours that the gods have been hiding from you bc they dislike both of you or are toying with you etc etc. which makes this a star-crossed love instead of something that most people would find unimportant or mundane.

the snake card adds to the spoiled brat and danger vibes. lucifer fisrt portrayed themself to adam and eve as a snake or a serpent, though you could infer that this was bc lucifer didn't think that adam and eve would truly accept them, since both of them were technically servants of god. the same god that cast the rebellious lucifer from heaven. so perhaps think of lucifer or loki or lilith or judas maybe when trying to understand this person's personality. all four of them are considered "snakes" in the eyes of god, and most likely this person is too.

im also getting that they're most likely female.

im getting audrey from huniepop vibes like hugely. spoilers for huniepop but audrey comes off very mean and unfriendly and unapproachable and like a toxic and self sabotaging person but when you find out more about her you find out that she's a virgin before she sleeps with you and that her mother is a cold-hearted bitch who sleeps around on audrey's dad. there are layers to audrey and she's deep down a sweet girl who is just trying to protect herself. there's a reason she's best girl huniepop.

they also might feel stuck in their metamorphosis of healing (similar to audrey) and need help emerging from their cocoon. specifically your help. they might be deeply emotionally wounded and genuinely need someone they can be vulnerable with.

so it's to sum up this person, but basically a bad bitch with a big, bleeding heart.

☆☆♡♡♧♧

i hope you all enjoyed this pick a card reading. you can 100% send me asks telling me about how accurate or fun it was and even give me pointers. just send me asks about anything!! im so lonely lol give a girl some company ♡♡♡♡♡♡♡xoxo

[paradoxcase]

So there’s this major difference in the goals of the Fellowship in the movies and the books that I haven’t been mentioning, but which is now becoming important at the end of the book when they get to Amon Hen.

If you think about it, if you were Elrond and you were choosing people to be in the Fellowship, Boromir is probably not going to be on the list.  We already have Aragorn along to represent Men, and if Legolas can represent all Elves in Middle Earth, than Aragorn can as easily represent all Men.  Boromir is heir to the Stewardship of Gondor, which is in this constant war versus the forces of Mordor, he has all kinds of duties and responsibilities already.  His main skill is that he’s a seasoned warrior who’s fought in many battles, but Fellowship is ideally not going to be fighting anything, they are instead supposed to go unnoticed - Elrond even says something to the effect that he’s not going to send a bunch of warriors because that’s not the point of the mission.  And most of all, Boromir is the only person at the Council of Elrond who seems not to really understand why the ring has to be destroyed in the first place.  In the movie they avoid this problem by just having everyone volunteer.  But it doesn’t really make sense for Boromir to volunteer, for all the same reasons, unless he was planning from the very beginning to take the ring for himself, and I really don’t think he was.  So why is Boromir in the Fellowship in the book?  Because another thing happened at the Council of Elrond, which was that Aragorn revealed himself to be the last heir of Isildur and therefore the rightful king of Gondor and pointed out that his magical sword might be of use in Gondor’s war, and got a personal invitation to come back to Gondor from Boromir, at which point Aragorn hopes to get the rest of the Gondorians to accept him as king.  So two things were actually planned at the Council of Elrond: Frodo and some other people were going to go destroy the One Ring, and Aragorn and Boromir were going to go to Gondor together.  And because Gondor is like, right next door to Mordor, Aragorn figured they migth as well travel together until the point where they had to split up.

Gandalf is the de facto leader of the Fellowship up until Moria, at which point he falls and is no longer around to be the leader... and Aragorn is basically forced to become the new leader because no one else in the company seems inclined/able to step up to the task.  But now, beginning with Lothlorien, Aragorn has a dilemma: originally he was not going to accompany the ring all the way to Mount Doom and was going to leave at some point and go to Gondor and fulfill his destiny, etc.  But now that he’s the leader, he can’t exactly just abandon Frodo to do the hardest part of the journey by himself.  You see him thinking and worrying about this, and other people do, too - Boromir is occasionally saying stuff like “well, if no one’s going to come with me I’ll just go back to Gondor by myself” and so forth.  So when they get to Amon Hen, Aragorn legitimately doesn’t know what he should do, so he asks Frodo what he thinks they should do and Frodo says “ugh, I have to think about this, can you just leave me alone for a while” and that’s when he goes off on his own and eventually has the scene where Boromir tries to take the ring.  From my interpretation, I think Frodo realizes that Aragorn has to go to Gondor to help with the war, and he has to go to Mount Doom, which means he needs to go without Aragorn’s help and possibly other members of the company will also choose to go to Gondor instead of Mount Doom and he’s afraid of going into Mordor on his own or nearly on his own, and because he’s so afraid it’s hard for him to make that decision.  But then Boromir tries to take the ring, and Frodo sees what the ring actually does to people when it gets ahold of them, and his resolve to destroy it is strengthened and that allows him to be able to make the decision to go to Mordor on his own.  He even thanks Boromir for making his case because he said it made his choice clear.  It seems like without that happening, Frodo might not have been able to make this decision on his own, so this was a bit more key to the plot than in the movie.

In the movie, they seem to represent this dilemma that they have after Lothlorien by having Boromir actually propose to Aragorn that they just bring the ring to Gondor instead of destroying it.  But I think it’s pretty clear that book!Boromir would never have done this.  He is clearly thinking about it privately during the stay in Lothlorien and when they are on the river, but he never mentions it to anyone (except Frodo) and as far as everyone else in the party knows, Boromir only wants to go to Gondor because that was actually the original plan that was made at the Council of Elrond.  He clearly knows that the other party members, and especially Aragorn, would strongly object to this idea, but he sees that Frodo’s wishes are respected, so he waits until he can talk to Frodo alone and (at first) tries to convince him to bring the ring to Gondor.  I don’t think he was willing to risk an argument with Aragorn about this, unless he had Frodo on his side, and Aragorn was very conflicted in the book compared to how in the movie he is clearly and strongly prepared to go all the way to Mount Doom with Frodo.  I can’t find a video of it right now, but I believe they also have Gimli reacting negatively to the idea of going to Mordor just before the scene at Amon Hen, but Gimli does not express any opinions on this in the book.

By the way, I was right - Boromir’s movie dialog on Caradhras was taken directly from something that Boromir says to Frodo at Amon Hen in the book.  Most of the movie dialog from Amon Hen is also directly from this scene.  It’s interesting - in the book, the only early sign that Boromir might be tempted by the ring is that he asks when it can’t be used against Sauron at the Council of Elrond.  But he doesn’t directly argue with Elrond when given the answer, and at least until Lothlorien, he shows no sign that he’s being affected by the ring and is until that point actually very helpful and probably is mostly responsible for saving the company from dying on Caradhras.  I think the hints that Tolkien drops after Lothlorien are maybe too subtle for a movie to depict well, so instead they gave him that scene on Caradhras where they make it super obvious.  But I think it’s actually significant that Boromir’s desire for the ring didn’t begin until Lothlorien in the book.  It’s not actually gone into in great detail what Galadriel communicates telepathically to them in Lothlorien, but the general consensus is that she showed them basically that they could be doing other things than taking the ring to Mount Doom and testing them to see if they were likely to cave to temptation and abandon the Fellowship.  This is the same point at which she says that the quest “stands upon the edge of a knife” and that if someone betrays the Fellowship it could fail.  I don’t have any evidence for this, either from the text or from the companion, but I think she may have suggested to Boromir that he could take the ring to Gondor as his test and that this was then in his mind from that point on.