#people who do this are gross. i've done it and in that moment i was gross.

[slasherhaven]

I don’t know if you’ve done this before but what about period sex? 🥺 I feel like the slashers are so used to blood it wouldn’t be upsetting to them. (Preferably with Thomas Hewitt because he’s my current hyper-fixation)

I honestly can't remember if I've written this. I thought I had but I can't find but even if I have, I'll happily write it again! Period sex had become a recent interest of mine to be honest...

Period Sex with The Slashers (NSFW):

Thomas Hewitt

Thomas is phased by blood in the slightest, he's been working with it since he was old enough to work after all. However, it's different when it's you that bleeding!

He panics at the slightest sign of you being hurt, always wanting to protect you.

I doubt he has any real knowledge about periods, maybe he knows that some people have them but he definitely doesn't know much more than that.

When you're on your period, he likes to fuss over you and make sure you're alright. Especially after you explained everything about your experiences and if you have bad cramps.

You have to be the one who brings up the idea of having sex when you're on your period, because he definitely won't.

You're bleeding there! He assumes that because you're bleeding it would hurt, which you figure makes sense but you'll explain that you might be more sensitive but it won't be painful.

Thomas just need some reassurances that he's not going to hurt you or anything, and becomes more eager when you mention that orgasms can actually help ease cramps.

The blood doesn't bother him at all, he's not in the slightest bit put off or grossed out, it barely even registers with him once he's reassured that you're not in pain. But he still makes sure to be extra careful with you.

You just seem so...raw, that it could be painful. So, he'll just go slow and be careful.

Since he has absolutely no problem with blood, he will go down on you with as much enthusiasm as any other day. He doesn't mind getting his hands or face dirty.

Michael Myers

Michael has no problem with the sight of blood. In face, it might even lean in the other direction.

The blood doesn't put him off, it actually entices him. Gets his blood pumping like those moments before a hunt.

You might not even have to bring up the subject. He's still plenty open for sex, no matter how heavy your flow.

Still, he's not exactly educated about periods so might assumed your injured. But once he knows you're unharmed, he just shrugs it off as mostly unimportant. Is still going to be interested in sex as he is any other day. More so maybe.

Michael loves to smear the blood around, to have his hands coated in it, smearing bloody handprints over your hips and legs and everywhere else on your body. He has no interest in keeping things clean and tidy, it's a waste of time to even lay a towel down to be honest.

He doesn't take it easy on you either, even if you are feeling more raw and sensitive. In fact, he's only encouraged by your increased squirming and the sounds you make.

Jason Voorhees

Oh sweet Jason.

Sex is already a taboo thing to him, at least in the beginning of your relationship, and so are periods.

You've helped him so much when it comes to having a healthier relationship with sex and you've also taught him plenty about periods, because he wanted to learn, wanted to help you.

Jason always treats you like you're ill when you're on your period, wanting to dote on you and make sure those cramps aren't bothering you too much.

The thought of having sex with you on those days doesn't even occur to him. Not because he thinks it's gross or because he has a phobia of blood, but because he figures it would harm you in some way. I mean, you are bleeding and Jason has only ever associated blood with pain and violence and death. Not exactly sexy.

And when you make a move on him, he's more surprised than anything. You want to do that with him while you're bleeding?

Just very worried and concerned for your wellbeing.

Once you reassure him, he's willing to try it, though. You wouldn't lead him wrong, after all.

He'll lay down the towels and be gentle with you, every touch feather light and tender.

He's not really into the blood, more just unbothered by it. It's there but he doesn't care, it's not a turn on or a turn off.

Brahms Heelshire

Brahms is a horny bastard and if you think some blood is going to put him off, you clearly don't know him well.

Blood doesn't phase him anyway, so it's really not a problem.

You don't have to reassure him or anything, he's already tugging your underwear down.

He doesn't care about making a mess, about staining sheets or surfaces that you will have to clean later.

Doesn't have many feelings about the blood itself other than enjoying the feeling of it, warm and wet.

Will dip a finger in the blood and draw a little pattern on your stomach, just for the fun of it.

Also won't care about washing up before going to sleep, curling himself around you and drifting off while his thighs are still smeared with your drying blood.

You'll have to fight him into the shower, either before he falls asleep or in the morning. Which, of course, only leads into another round but at least he's a little cleaner now.

Bo Sinclair

Bo loves marking you up, claiming you as his.

The two of you might have even given blood play a try before. Bo's definitely into it and has fantasied about it at least.

He's an asshole when you're on your period, always blames your bad mood on it, and is just a general menace.

He's also a huge tease, especially if he knows you get horny on your period.

He'll have you against the kitchen counter, push a hand under your waistband, bring you to the edge of orgasm before slipping his hand out and sucking the blood from his fingers. Leaving you flustered and unsated.

And when he does fuck you, he can't take his eyes off of where you're connected, of where the blood smears over you both.

Vincent Sinclair

Vincent isn't so interested in blood but he's seen more than enough so that it doesn't faze him.

So, he's not put off by you bleeding, he's just more concerned than anything.

If you're uncomfortable or in pain, his mind isn't going to sex. So, you'll probably have to be the one to initiate it.

He's not off put but it, just fusses to make sure you're certain and that it won't hurt you in anyway.

Puts all his focus in making sure you're comfortable.

Despite not being interested in blood in any sexual way, he does get a little curious. It's something new to explore with you and he's intrigued.

He's not very messy with it but finds that he does kind of like the way it stains the inside of your thighs at least.

Cleans you up so tenderly afterwards until there isn't a trace of blood left, just being his sweet self.

Lester Sinclair

Lester is not in anyway phased by dirt or blood or being messy in anyway.

It's not a flattering comparison but he handles roadkill everyday, he's not doing to be bothered by some blood.

The only reason he doesn't really consider having sex during those times is because he assumes you wouldn't want too. Just kinda assumed you don't desire it during that time, especially if you've ever mentioned being in pain with cramps or feeling 'gross' in someway while on your period.

However, he's not opposed to it when you suggest it. He's surprised when you hurry to assure him that it's alright if he doesn't want too, that you understand if he'd not into it while you're on your period.

Lester really doesn't care about any mess you make and you will have to be the person to grab the towels, he just wouldn't even think about it.

Doesn't care how heavy your period is, he has no fears when it comes to touching you or bringing you pleasure.

While Lester really isn't fazed by being dirty, he'll help you both wash up. Afterwards, if you just want to soak in the bath for a while, he'd more than happy to join you.

Bubba Sawyer

Blood is nothing to Bubba, might as well be water to him.

However, he does know that blood usually follows pain, and if you're bleeding, he's going to be concerned that your hurting. And lets be real, he might not even know what a period is.

So, after plenty of explanation and reassurances, we can talk period sex.

Once you've assured him that it's all normal and the pain is more in the cramps than anything else, Bubba really doesn't think much of it. He becomes more concerned about the cramps than the actual blood aspect. The bleeding itself is no big deal to him.

So, when you express that you would like to have sex with him even though you're still on your period, Bubba trusts that you know better than him on whether it's alright for you or not.

For Bubba it's just like the blood isn't there, just an addition to sex that he doesn't really need to worry about because it doesn't mean that he's hurting you.

Billy Lenz

Some blood isn't going to stop him from wanting you, from needing you.

Billy has a complicated relationship with blood. It's always followed negative feelings and experiences but it's also kinda...pretty?

He doesn't want to hurt you or make you bleed but if you're already bleeding and unharmed then...

Truly has no worries about mess, he loves when the two of you end up all sticky from bodily fluids. If that includes blood, that's perfectly fine by him.

He'll grin at you with your blood staining his mouth and cheeks, will smear bloody hands over your body and paint you with it.

He doesn't know why he finds it so enticing, so arousing, but he does. His eyes shine as he paints you both with your blood. And he's able to do all of this without harming you, which is a huge bonus for him.

Like Brahms, he'd happily just go to sleep without washing the drying blood off first. You have to drag him off to the shower and change the sheets because Billy will just sleep in the mess without worry.

Asa Emory (The Collector)

In general, blood is not all that new in your relationship.

Asa has definitely indulged his blood play kink with you, whether it was with your blood or somebody else's. So period sex isn't the craziest thing for him and he's not going to even bat an eye at it.

However, he is going to indulge.

Asa is pretty thrilled about you being more sensitive than usual, ready to find all new ways to torment and tease you.

You're not about to be ruining his sheets though, he's doing to be clean and tidy about it. He's using a mattress protector at the very least, or having you strapped to a table for him to experiment on you.

He has you squirming and pleading until there are tears in your eyes and you feel raw between your legs, even more so than you already did.

Slips his fingers between your lips, having you taste your own blood.

Jesse Cromeans (Chromeskull)

Come on, a little bit of blood isn't going to scare him.

In fact, blood arouses him and he isn't ashamed of that in the slightest.

You can try to initiate or he will, it doesn't really matter. A period isn't going to have Jesse dancing shyly around you.

Blood play is nothing new for the two of you so he turns it unto a bit of a challenge instead.

He'll have you ride him while he's fully dressed, warning you not to make a mess of his clothes.

And if you do get blood on his nice new suit, well...he's just going to have to punish you, isn't he?

Otis Driftwood

Otis is super into blood play and has already participated in it with you if you share his kink. If not, he's at least mentioned it multiple times.

So, this is just blood play without having to tend to wounds afterwards. That suits him just fine.

In Otis' opinion, the heavier your flow, the better.

He paints you both with it.

He loves seeing you covered in blood, the source of that blood is pretty unimportant to him (unless somebody else has hurt you, obviously).

He's not shy about his interest in the blood but by this point, you should know that it's something that turns him on. There is precious little that doesn't turn him on really.

Honestly, let's a little annoyed if there isn't enough blood for his liking but whatever.

By the end, he'd got drying blood on his face, hands, and thighs. Blood clotted in his facial hair and his teeth stained red, the coppery taste on his tongue.

The sheets are definitely ruined and if you don't get rid of them, Otis will keep them stains and all. He doesn't care about some dirty bedsheets after all.

Baby Firefly

For so many reasons, Baby isn't shy about some blood.

If you're on your period, she doesn't see why that should change your sex life unless you don't want to have sex on your period. Which she would respect, she knows how it can make you feel.

But she also knows that orgasms help with cramps and that sometimes a symptom of a period is being horny, and she will use these things against you just to tease you.

Come on, there's no need to deprive yourself just because of a little blood. She isn't fazed! Let her help!

Doodles little patterns all over you with your blood, giggling to herself about them.

Will paint her lips (and yours if you let her) with your blood just for her amusement if nothing else.

See! There can be some perks of a period when you're with Baby!

Yautja (Predator)

You don't have to tell your mate when you're on your period, he can smell it (not in a way that it smells bad, he just has those heightened alien senses).

He panics at the scent of blood first since Yautja don't menstruate so he assumes you're injured in some way.

He's quick and happy to learn though, and then stops being so concerned about it when your period comes along.

Other than the initial panic, your mate doesn't care about blood in the slightest. He's an Yautja, a predator, a hunter. Blood is a daily occurrence for him, it doesn't faze him.

And when he learns that pleasure can ease period cramps, he will practically insist on it for pain management reasons.

Honestly, the fact that you bleed like this monthly and just carry on with your life like nothing is wrong is admirable and worthy of respect in his eyes.

Having sex with you when you're bleeding, well, there's just something so primal about it.

The scent of your blood and your arousal has his own blood pumping and a growl emitting from behind his mandibles.

He loses himself in the sight of your blood, smearing it over your skin, tasting it.

Afterwards, he just holds you, nuzzling at your skin. Both of you still stained with your own blood.

[mylight-png]

A while ago I was listening to Dara Horn's podcast relating to her book, People Love Dead Jews. Within this podcast she discussed the fact that Holocaust museums tend to center stories that highlight ways in which Jews were just like anyone else, putting secular Jews on a pedestal of sorts.

The podcast went on to make the point that we shouldn't have to be like them to be liked. A Jew in a kippah is just as worthy of being accepted as a Jew in a baseball cap, and to position one, the more assimilated one, as "better" is antisemitic.

This made me think of how movies and shows portray Jews, and I realized a similar pattern of idealizing assimilation is deeply prevalent.

There are two main ways Jews are portrayed in movies/shows that I've noticed that are problematic. (For a narrower scope I'll be discussing American media as I am more familiar with that than most other countries.)

The first kind of Jewish representation is the token Jew. This is the character that the viewer wouldn't even have known is Jewish had the show not casually mentioned them celebrating Hanukkah in passing. This is the character who is entirely the same as any other character. An example of this would be in Ginny and Georgia, where a few side characters are revealed to be Jewish. This reveal occurred only for the purpose of making a Hanukkah episode, and immediately one of the characters says the beginning words to most of our prayers, adding "bitch" at the end. This sort of absolutely blatant disrespect towards the words many of us wouldn't even speak fully in casual conversation is meant to indicate that it's okay to poke fun at our religion. (By the way, it isn't okay. Don't disrespect our religion, thanks.) (And no the actress wasn't Jewish.)

Then there's Ben Gross from Never Have I Ever, a similarly extremely assimilated Jewish character. Instead of making fun of Judaism, however, the show plays into Jewish stereotypes. Ben's dad is a wealthy influential lawyer who works with Hollywood. Come on, there's three in a row there. Ben himself is frequently made fun of for being very short (to an extent not befitting the actor's actual stature), and some of his mannerisms could be described as effeminate. All of these traits play into anti-Jewish stereotypes. The protagonist even says she wishes Ben was killed by Nazis and other than a scolding this isn't made to be the big deal that it is.

These sorts of characters are meant to show how Jews are "just like you!" and pokes cruel fun at the few remaining things that do occasionally set them apart. Yes, secular Jews exist, but the way these shows make fun of their Jewish identities is where the issue arises.

The second problematic representation is meant to make goyim feel good about being goyim. This is specifically done through how Judaism is portrayed in these movies.

A major example of this is the show Unorthodox, in which the plot centers a young girl trying to escape her very observant community. This show directly demonized the Jewish religion, making it appear inherently oppressive and twisted.

While some may argue that the show was merely trying to portray the social issues within the community, there are better ways to achieve this.

The book An Unorthodox Match takes on a similar task with a vastly different tone. The book centers a protagonist joining an equally observant community, but not for a moment does the book, author, or protagonist blame Judaism. The book is very clearly written by a Jew who loves Judaism, and yet it manages to highlight similar social issues to the show without blaming Judaism. In fact, Jewish traditions have a fair share of appreciation in the book!

This sort of media is meant to make the goyishe viewers be grateful they aren't part of those communities, but as a Jewish viewer I felt deeply uncomfortable with the positioning of religious Jews as a negative part of society. This media makes the characters seem like they have nothing at all in common with the goyim around them or the goyim watching the show. It's the polar opposite of the previous example.

The first example is showing Jews as "just like anyone else" until they aren't, while the second example portrays Jews as entirely other. Never have I seen an Orthodox Jewish character side by side with the non-Jewish characters in any other context than the Jewish character envying their non-Jewish peers.

Why is the choice either to be assimilated or othered? Why can we not have an observant Jewish character remind their friends that they can't hang out on Saturday, or maybe they bring their own kosher snacks? Maybe a Jewish character muttering a bracha over their food? Why not make being Jewish an important part of their character without making them self-loathe because of it?

Media almost only ever shows two extremes and neither of those extremes has a positive impact on the perception of Jews.

(There is also a pattern I've noticed with Jews and goyim being cast in Jewish roles and how that corresponds to the character, but that's probably another post for another time.)

[snenbubs]

I did it. I did it and nobody stopped me. I'm unstoppable.

I love this horrible big man spider christmas tree ass guy, a bit too much. I've alr done general romantic HCs but IT WASNT ENOUGH.

... so here. Mammon (Helluva Boss) x GN reader NSFW headcannons. I need severe help, but so do you, so....

NSFW Under the cut! 18+ Only!

♡ I've seen a few people claim he'd he a lazy lover, nd whilst i see where they're coming from, i completely disagree. He's the embodiment of Greed, not Sloth! I think, if anything, he's more like an overwhelming, smothering kind of lover ykwm.

- I've said this before, and I will reiterate it, his hands are gonna be on you, all over you. Four hands, might I add. 😋

- I like to think he'd keep one pair on your hips, holding you in place as close to him as he possibly can, because he just NEEDS every inch of you and the other pair would be constantly roaming your body, finding places to squeeze or hold.

- In addition to this i think he'd like any kind of position where he can be as close to you as possible. Your presence overwhelms him and he needs all of it at once so you better be prepared to be pressed flush against his fluffy body.

- His mouth? Always on you. He likes being able to taste you, in more than just one way; biting, kissing... and more...

Also, his tongue is forked. Just thought i'd mention it. Yk. A lil fun fact for your day.

♡ In regards to biting however, i mentioned in my other HCS that he's pretty possesive and that applies here too;

- He gets jealous easy and when he gets jealous he bites harder. Its like a mark, his special mark. He wants people to see you with those bruises, hickeys and bite marks coating your pretty flesh because it means everyone knows you're his.

- If he gets jealous, and bare in mind it does not take a lot to make him jealous, expect not to be able to walk in the morning.

- I feel, due to his needy nature, he's quite a rough lover. I want to believe he tries to be gentle because there will almost definitely be a size difference between you two and you could get hurt, but he can get caught up in the moment and i think he often ends up quite rough.

- Even rougher when jealous.

♡ In general though?

- He deffo drools. You can say "ew gross" all you want but to me? its hot, and he does it, and im the one writing this so theres NOTHING YOU CAN DO ABOUT IT.

- He definitely has a thing for master/pet relationships BUT i think he also gets a big kick out of hearing you cry out his name.

- I also don't think he's too loud during the act. He makes some noises, probably grunts and maybe a whine if your lucky, but he's mostly silent. If he has his hat on then the sound of jingling bells will probably be extremely overwhelming.

- The thing is, he has to be quiet! Because if he isn't quiet, then he can't hear the sweet sounds you'll be making. And oh, he just LOVES them. He could get drunk off of them. He DOES get drunk off of them.

- By no means though, will he shut his trap. He likes making fun of you, mocking you, making jokes and being generally mean. It's just who he is you gotta accept it.

- His voice is hot though so its a win.

- He probably has a control problem, in that he has to be the one doing everything. If you beg, he might let you take the lead for a bit but ultimately he'll take charge.

- Often though its probably just because you aren't doing things fast enough for him, he has a very high and extremely greedy libido and he knows what he wants.

- Webs. WEBS.

- He is not against tying you up with them, all you have to do is ask. A lot of time, he'll so it so that he can be ever closer to you than he already is.

- But like i said, its your word. If you give the thumbs up then he'll have you bound in no time at all. I'll leave it to your own imagination.

Thats all for now... mayhaps in future i'll do more, make a pt2 or smth but honestly i'm outta ideas.

[goldenamaranthe-blog]

Apple Seed 7: Demons

Charlie: (nestled into bed and surrounded by a maternity pillow to help prop up her heavy set baby belly) Are you sure you're alright with me going to bed early? I can stay up a little longer and help with the new residents' paperwork.

Vaggie: (cups Charlie's cheek and brushes her thumb over the bright red circle, slipping her finger into the well hidden dimple camouflaged underneath) I'm sure, hun. I can handle it just fine. I'll be in bed in about two- (checks the bedside clock) -two and a half hours.

Charlie: (pouts) But-

Vaggie: (presses a finger to Charlie's lips) No, no hables más, mi amor. You've been sleeping horribly for weeks. If you're tired, you should sleep. I can take over so you can rest. ¿Comprende?

Charlie: (huffs childishly but eyes slowly soften as she kisses Vaggie's finger) Yes, Ma'am. I understand. (snuggles under the covers and strokes her belly) I love you, Vaggie.

Vaggie: I love you too, querida. (kisses Charlie's forehead) Good night. (slowly exits the room and shuts the door with a soft click)

Vaggie: (sighs heavily and shuffles down the hall with an uneasy stride and hunch in her shoulders) Mierda... What am I going to do?

Vaggie: (enters the office and sits behind the desk, slowly opening a side drawer to reveal a hidden flask and pulling it out to take a pull of the liquor inside) Fuck.... Now, I'm drinking by myself because of this... Shit....

-Silence-

Vaggie: (bites her lip and pulls out her phone) I cannot believe I'm doing this. (dials the number and sets the phone to speaker)

-Brrrrrrrrd! ....Brrrrrrrd! ....Brrrrrrrrd!-

Carmilla: Carmine Industries. State your business.

Vaggie: (nervous) Uh, hello, Ms. Carmine. This is Vaggie Morningstar.

Carmilla: I'm well aware who you are, Vaggie. That's the point of caller ID. What do you want?

Vaggie: (under her breath) Gee, aren't you just as perky as ever. (clears her throat) I'm... in need of some... ugh...shit.... advice.

Carmilla: .............I'm listening.

Vaggie: You have two daughters.

Carmilla: How astute of you.

Vaggie: Smartass comments aside! (gets quiet and nervous) How... do you do it?

Carmilla: ..........I must say. Normally, I'd pride myself on being able to understand most nonsensical babbling, but I'm not quite following yours. Elaborate.

Vaggie: (sighs and sinks into the chair) How do you do it? Hold your kids when you have blood on your hands? (stares at her palms and flinches as flashes of deep crimson blood stain her fingers before returning to normal)

Carmilla: I see. This is about your prior Exorcist work and the baby on the way, isn't it?

Vaggie: (nods sullenly before remembering that she's on a voice call) Fuck! Yes! This is about that! How can I hold a perfect little being after everything I've done?! After all the people I've killed here in Hell? (flood gates open as her emotions run wild and tears sting her eyes) I know Charlie has forgiven me, but what if I hurt them? What if... I'm not good enough?

Carmilla: .............

Vaggie: (slowly calms down and wipes the tears from her eyes)

Carmilla: (softly) Because when that child is born, the hands that you once used to kill will be used to protect something even more precious than you could ever imagine.

Vaggie: (blinks) Carmine?

Carmilla: That innocent, perfect little baby will rely on you for everything the moment they're born. Your wife will rely on you to help her shoulder the burden. Do you honestly think that child will care about the people you killed when they only know the love you've given it? The care you've provided to it and it's mother?

Vaggie: But.... what if I-

Carmilla: Taint it? (huffs a laugh) With what? Slightly sullied hands that may or may not be covered in spit up? A child isn't tainted by the past sins of a parent, stupid girl.

Vaggie: (glances at her hands and watches as the blood washes away to a gross, white milky substance and cringes at the thought of spit up) Not sure how much I want that either....

Carmilla: Just remember to burp the child thoroughly between changing breasts if the princess is breastfeeding, and especially after. It should help with any projectile vomiting.

Vaggie: (smiles softly and relaxes) Do... you have anymore words of maternal wisdom for me? I... uh... feel pretty useless right now.

Carmilla: Hmmph. (sits down at her desk and leans back in amusement) Grab a notebook, and I'll give you a few tricks of the trade.

[jadewritesficshere]

Bathroom

Eddie Munson x female!reader

An unserious moment becomes serious talking about love.

Warnings: peeing (NOT watersports, you quite literally just pee in front of each other), fluff

The trailer door slams open as you rush inside. You and Eddie had been stuck in traffic- thanks construction. What normally would have been an hour drive back from Indy took three.

And you had to pee. There was no place to stop after the last city, and you didn't have to go then. The usually empty roads to Hawkins were flooded with people going on detours. You couldn't even pull over and just go in the country due to the amount of people.

You rushed to the bathroom and shut the door. Your bladder was screaming at you. The chill of the toilet seat didn't even bother you as you sat down.

You were about to go when the door popped open and Eddie strolled in. "Move your legs i gotta go too," Eddie said unzipping his jeans. Your mouth dropped in shock for a second," What? No!" Eddie scoffed," I won't pee on you. I've got great aim."

You crossed your arms," Eddie, my thighs are too big. This bathroom is so tiny, I wouldn't even be able to spread my legs enough."

Eddie opens his mouth to argue but you speak again," Just go in the shower." Eddie gasps and throws a hand against his chest," Weren't you the one who said not to go in the shower? The hypocrisy!"

You roll your eyes," We aren't currently showering Eds, the shower is to get clean-" "You can pee and then get clean! You're in the shower and cleaning already!"

Your bladder screams in protest again," Eddie just wait for me to pee and then you can. Or you can use the shower."

Eddie grumbles but turns towards the shower. Theres a moment of silence between you both before you both start going. Eddie is the only person you would feel comfortable going in front of.

The relief your bladder feels is immediate. You hang your head for a second as you sigh, your hands clasped in front of you. The feeling of a hand on your head causes you to glance up. Eddie's eyes lock with yours as you both continue to go.

"What?" You narrow your eyes at him. "Just was thinking," Eddie starts but you cut him off," Eyes on the stream!" Eddie's vision darts back to where his stream had inched closer to the edge of the tub. "Whoops." "Great aim huh?" You chuckle, grabbing his hand off your head and holding it in yours.

Eddie smiled slightly," You thought i had good aim last night." You both chuckle as he squeezes your hand slightly," Nah I was just thinking. For better or worse yeah? Sickness and in health? We should add those who pee together stay together or something."

Both of your streams come to an end as you stare at Eddie. Your heart beats faster suddenly. Eddie tucks himself back in his jeans as you clear your throat. "You wanna marry me?" You ask quietly. You had hoped but...

Eddie's head snaps over to you," You didn't know?" You shrug as you grab toilet paper. "Hold on- shit!" Eddie stubs his toe against the sink as he quickly turns it on to wash his hands. You clean up as he scrubs soap quickly over his hands. He rinses it off as you stand back up, pulling your pants up. He haphazardly dries his hands on a towel and grabs your face in his hands.

You can still feel some water and soap on his hands drip down your cheeks. "Baby," Eddie's brown eyes stare into yours, " I love you. So much. I thought I made that clear, but if you have a single doubt then I havent done my job well. I. Love. You."

Eddie nods once before kissing your forehead," I would do anything. Even the gross things. Like letting you pop my pimples. Or rubbing your back as you throw up. Or holding your hand while you poop."

You wrinkle your nose," Ew. You've never held my hand while I pooped before." Eddie nods gravely," I would be willing to suffer thro-" you slap his arm in mock offense as he breaks down in laughter, causing you to join in.

Eddie grins at you," Yeah, no seriously. I would do anything for you. I would fight Vecna again- which was probably the worst thing I've been through. But I would do it again, willingly, for you. In the worst of times to the best of times, I want to be with you. You already own my heart and I would carve it out of my chest and hand it to you. My heart beats for you."

You smile at Eddie and pull him in for a hug," And I love you. I love you with my whole heart, mind, and soul. Every fiber of my being screams my love for you. "

You lean into his hold, swaying slightly as he hugs you. "I love you so much," Eddie mumbles. You pull back to look at him," Did we just say our vows in a bathroom?" Eddie barks out a laugh," I think we did."

Eddie grins at you and removes a ring from his hand," I'll get you a real one later, but uh since we already said our vows. Figure i should ask if ya wanna marry me." "Yeah, I guess I'll marry you," you feign nonchalance as you excitedly grab the ring and slide it on your hand.

You both laugh slightly, the love radiating from you two. You shake your head and grin, because only Eddie Munson would propose in a bathroom. And only you would say yes.

[the-modern-typewriter]

Hello! I've been reading through your blog for the past few days and everything you write is so amazing. I was wondering if maybe you would consider writing something about an aro high schooler who gets asked out by this person they've convinced themselves that they like, but when they're actually asked about it, it just feels wrong? (Bonus points if they think kissing is gross because imo it is) - sincerely, an aroace teen writer who is very inspired by you

"River kissed you!?" Their best friend shrieked, with all of the excitement that the protagonist had expected to feel.

They managed a weak smile. Their stomach squirmed.

It was supposed to be great, wasn't it? A first kiss. People wrote novels about them. It was the epic climax of the episode. It was fireworks and a fluttering stomach, it was the whole world narrowing down to a single moment, it was heart pounding love.

It was gross.

"...was it bad?" their friend asked, catching their expression. Their face fell. A smashed plate of disappointment.

The protagonist swallowed. "It was...wet."

"I mean, it takes a bit of practice to get good at it. Even with the right person. Did they stick their tongue down your throat?"

"No. I don't think so? I mean - it was fine." It would be fine. It would definitely be fine. Maybe their first kiss hadn't exactly been what they were hoping for, but it would get better. Wouldn't it? Their throat suddenly felt horribly tight. They pressed their lips together to keep their voice from wobbling and took a breath. "You're probably right. I mean, I don't know if they've ever kissed anyone before either. Maybe I was really bad at it."

"No!"

"It's okay." At least, if they were bad at kissing, that was something they could improve upon. At least it wouldn't always feel so...

It wasn't like it was all some elaborate ruse the whole population was in on, anyway. That would be ridiculous!

It had been a nice night otherwise. The movie had been good, and their hands had touched over the popcorn, and they'd got into a great discussion about the plot after.

It would get better.

...it did not get better, though.

They started to find excuses not to kiss River; "Let's take it slow."

A kiss on the head or the cheek wasn't so bad, or like a one second peck on the mouth. It was all the other kisses.

When it didn't feel wrong, they felt nothing. They counted the awkward seconds for it to be over, then vowed to do much better next time when they caught a glimpse of the confused sort of hurt in River's eyes.

"I know you're shy," River said, one day, in a trying-to-be-casual voice. "But you like...never kiss me. It's always me kissing you. Did I..." Their voice dropped, agonised, "am I really bad at it or something?"

"No, no!"

"Oh, good."

"I just - I don't now." Their stomach squeezed. "I'm not sure I really like kissing," they confessed. "It's - I don't know." It felt rude to say ew.

"Oh," River said, in a tone of less good, but trying to be chill and non-judgy. "Okay."

"Sorry."

"It's okay." River took their hand, squeezed. "Kissing isn't everything, I guess. There are other things."

For a second, just a second, they were sure they'd never loved anyone more.

They liked River. Didn't they? They certainly thought they had. They had those cheekbones, and those pretty eyes, and they were always nice to everyone. They made the protagonist laugh, at least when there wasn't kissing involved.

It should have all been perfect.

They'd always wanted to fall in love.

In the end, they broke up after about three months.

The protagonist didn't ask what they'd done wrong, because it felt obvious, even if River wasn't cruel enough to say it. Maybe they should have ended it themselves, instead of forcing River to do it. Probably.

But what could they possibly say? It's not you, it's me. Nobody would believe that even if it was true. Oh, I know I said yes to dating you, but I'm just not that into you. That felt far too mean. It wasn't like River had done anything bad.

Their best friend held them while they cried, wracking things that choked up in their chest.

"What if I die alone?"

"Don't be stupid." Their best friend hugged them hard. "Of course you're not going to lie alone. River wasn't that great anyway! There's clearly something wrong with you if they don't want you."

The protagonist didn't quite dare say that wasn't exactly how it happened.

They kissed a few other people over the years, normally around the time when everyone else did. New Year, at the strike of twelve. If there wasn't any fireworks in the kiss, at least they were popping and fizzing outside and a new year was a new slate. They tried once after a few too many cocktails, with a friend, because maybe it would feel a little better when they were tipsy. With someone who definitely knew what they were doing.

It wasn't, though.

"You'll find the right person," their best friend said. "It's different when it's the right person, you know? Like me and Willow. I didn't think, but then..." They were happily in love; exuberant on it, nonstop on it.

The protagonist didn't want to resent it. They didn't want to be that person, spitting bitter like the villain in a fairytale.

"Romance novels are very exaggerated," their best friend said. "It's not always butterflies. It doesn't have to be butterflies to be real, you know? It's just someone you really want to spend time with."

But, the more the protagonist thought about it, the more they weren't sure that was quite true. There were plenty of people that they liked being around. It still didn't make them want to kiss them.

They weren't even sure they wanted to fall in love anymore. It wasn't like they spent most of their life miserable or anything. It was just...sometimes, when everyone else in the room had someone, or their parents asked them yet again if there was anyone they'd been seeing. Even in the height of drama, it all seemed so much easier for them.

They were twenty when they first came across the words.

Aromantic Asexual.

It was the second time they'd cried over the whole kissing thing.

That time it was relief.

"Oh my god," they left their best friend a message, vindicated. "It is an elaborate ruse!!! I'm going to bite something!!"

It got better, after that.

[deangirlsstuff67]

Dirty Boy

Soldier Boy x Reader

Warnings: dirty talk, fingering, fluff, unprotected sex, P in V, period sex, blood, PWP

Summary: Y/N is trying hard not to let on that's she's in pain due to her period coming yesterday. Crippling cramps take over her body when she's left to baby sit Soldier boy and he notices.

Masterlist | Patreon

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Butcher and the boys left to do some recon and get supplies. Leaving you in charge of babysitting the nuclear bomb of a supe. To make matters worse your period showed up yesterday and your body has been in a constant state of pain all morning.

So far no one's noticed when cramps shoot crippling pain through your body. You've been able to fight against the pain. But it's slowly getting stronger and harder to hide.

Your going in to check on the supe and see if he needs anything when cramps take over your body and you double over in pain while standing in his door way.

Soldier Boy is over to you in seconds. Strong hands rub your back as you breath throw the pain in the fetal position on his bedroom floor. The pain eases enough that you can open your eyes, but you aren't prepared for what you see.

Soldier Boy kneeling over you with worry imprinted on every inch of his gorgeous face. Those beautiful bright green eyes are shining with concern... for you? You didn't know this man could even have compassion in him.

Never have you seen a supe look so genuinely concerned for someone's well-being before.

"Can you walk to the bed, Doll?"

You only nod and accept his hand to help you up off the dusty floor. He guides you to lay on the bed before disappearing into the ensuite bathroom. Moments later he's back with a hot cloth that he lays on your lower belly.

How the fuck does he know?

"Super hearing but also super smell," he looks nervous to even be telling you all this, "I can smell you." He gestures to your lower half.

Chuckling you can't help what comes from your mouth, "God that must be the worst." He joins you now both laughing out loud at this fucked up situation.

"Not as bad as one would think." He lowers his big hand to lay on top of the cloth. The heat radiating off him helps soothe my cramping lower stomach.

"You know it's none of my business, but I do know another way to ease your pain."

He's leaning on his arm as he lays beside you warming you with his body. The air around us changes as he peers down at me. I watch as he's green eyes turn black with desire. I've heard of people who claim orgasms help with period cramps, just never had the nerve to experiment with it.

"I, um... I've done that before. Don't you find it gross?"

His face softens as he takes me in, "Trust me sweetheart I've hand blood on my hands before, nothing about bringing you pleasure would gross me out."

With a dark smile he adds, "plus knowing I'd be the only one every in your body while like this..." He grabs my hand and brings it to rest on his harden cock in those fucking grey sweatpants, "makes me so fucking hard I could cut diamonds baby." He whispers in my ear.

I clench my thighs together at the picture he's painting in front if me.

"Of course only if you want to though." He adds.

Another series of cramps take over my body. I scrunch my body together in hopes to fight off the pain. It's so bad I feel sick to my stomach. Without thinking too far into it, I grab his hand and place it on the clothed core.

At this point there isn't anything I wouldn't do just to feel some relief.

Soldier Boy just smiles before diving his big strong hand into the sides of my sweats and pull them down, "alright."

Before I can think too much of it I feel him removing my tampon and then two thick fingers going knuckle deep into my sore, angry center. He finds my g spit within seconds and starts pumping hard and fast. A man on a mission.

I can't bring myself to watch his hands in me. Scared of what kind of murder scene I'll find. He leans of to kiss me gentle before watching where our bodies are connected, "fuck that's hot y/n."

Your orgasm is fast to appear at the hands of this powerful supe. Before you know it your clamping down around his digits and soaking the sheets below.

A growl vibrates his chest when you whisper out, "fuck... Soldier Boy."

"Doll, I'm about to be balls deep in your hungry little pussy and stained with your blood, pretty sure you can call me Ben."

How does he make it sound so fucking hot. Sex on your period shouldn't be this hot. He rises on the bed taking his sweat pants and shirt off. Then he crawls over me and starts undressing me slowly. Nipping and licking his way down my body.

When he gets to my hips I tense, "relax Doll, I won't go there unless you want me too." Fuck this man is a dirty bastard.

"You're a dirty boy, you know that?" Ben pushes a finger back into me, playing with my soft walls, "in a minute you'll enjoy that about me."

Then he's feeding his big cock into me. Inch by glorious inch slide deep into my heat. Ben eyes are glued to where we are connected, watching my body wither and shake as I struggle to take him all.

What feels like hours later he's balls deep in my cum and blood soaked pussy. A grunt leaves his chest when our hips meet. Kissing my lips he lowers his head to my ear, "you feel too good clinging tp my cock pretty girl, I'm not going to last. This is going to be rough and fast."

All you can do is nod and moan as he withdraws to the tip before slamming back into you, knocking the air from your lungs.

He didn't lie, he took you fast and hard. Making you cum three more times before he let's out a growl before you feel his cum paint your inner walls.

When the last of his semen leaves his tip, he slowly pulls out of you with a squelching noise. He gets off the bed and you see the mess of blood and cum all over his dick and public hair.

Covering your face in embarrassment, you sigh. What he must think of you now.

Your arms are pulled from your face, "don't hide from me. You have no reason to be embarrassed." Your eyes are still closed, unable to meet his gaze.

"Look at me y/n." You do as your told, only to be met with such a loving sight. "That was fucking incredible. And I will be doing it again with you..." He moves your sweaty y/h/c hair away from your face, "are you feeling better?"

"Yes."

"Good. Now let's go get cleaned up. I wanna make you dirty again. I like you in red." He bends to pick you up as if you weighted nothing and sends you a sexy wink.

"You're a very dirty boy, Ben."

[qqueenofhades]

Hello! I have a question that may be a tad uncomfortable but I don't know who could answer honestly. How do you get over class with a professor who self identifies as your mentor/father? He spilled his guts to me after class and told me how happy he was he connected to a young girl like me(Im 19 he's 59). He will be my prof for the ENTIRE year. I don't know how to feel, it wasn't flirty at all, and I actually think he sees himself in me. He's odd and off putting and stand offish. I am too, kinda. He said if shouldn't feel lonely because Im different, because I have my family, and now him (also Implied i should find god).

He's a conservative catholic with a wife and kids, I can tell he doesn't mean it in a weird way. He probably means well. But it's odd that he's acting like a mentor when I've only known him for a month.

Now, I thought this chat wouldn't affect me but he psychoanalysed me and it felt like he saw right through me while treating me like his therapist. I also think he's a lonely man who is projecting, seeing my potential and "what could've been" for himself.

How do I cope? I don't want this to affect me, but it pushed me terribly off axis. I felt pigeonholed, more than anything, and also feel bad for him.

WELP. Okay, first of all, I want to reinforce that this is NOT your fault and that it clearly creeped you out to the point where you decided to ask someone for help, all of which means that the situation is not okay and he does NOT have the right to do any of this -- whether forcing emotional intimacy on you after a very short time, suggesting that you Find Jesus and/or convert, hinting that he wants to "mentor" you, or whatever. Just because he's a conservative Catholic is no guarantee that it won't get creepier (indeed, often the total opposite) and even if it wasn't sexual or didn't feel sexual at the moment, that is... wrong. He should not have done it. He does not have the right to decide He Is Now Your Mentor and to push that connection on you. Even if it was not conscious or intentional grooming behavior, it is... squicky to say the least, showed that he was willing to push boundaries with you right away, and is certainly something that should make you cautious of any more uncontrolled or one-on-one interaction with him. So yeah. Gross. "Now you have me so you won't be lonely"??? Sorry, there is no scenario in which I can imagine that being an okay thing for a professor to say to a student. No. It may be that he just doesn't have a good sense of social boundaries or appropriate behavior, but that also doesn't mean you need to excuse it.

Next, if you can switch to another section or class so you don't have to spend the year with him, that might be worth looking into. If you can't, then obviously minimize the time you spend one-on-one (if there are office hours or if you need help with the class, maybe ask your peers or the TA if there is one, rather than him) and remember that you can tell people at your university if it continues to creep you out, not just me. There are procedures in place at most institutions to document this kind of interaction if it continues to cross a line (I don't know where you are in the world, but in the university where I work in the US, there's an office of Title IX, which deals with these kinds of issues). Older male academics smarming up to young female students and telling them they're "special" happens a lot, unfortunately, and while it doesn't always end terribly, it is something that you deservedly flagged as weird and which you should keep an eye on going forward. I'm sorry that you've experienced this and once again offer my support in navigating this year in as un-icky a way as possible. Please remember that you do not have to apologize for or excuse yourself for making choices to get out of a weird situation that clearly threw you for a loop, and you do not have to put up with this behavior if it continues or gets worse. Good luck.

[mlmmetalhead]

hiii can i pls get a scenario of like a big bad delinquent male reader standing up for jonathan and jonathan is scared that y/n will hurt him too but he's actually really chill andthey become friends, and them maybe more??;

Jonathan, the pretty boy.

Jonathan Byers X Male reader

CW: swearing, bullying, use of "queer" as an insult, smoking, reader is mentioned to be higher and more buff than Jonathan, cheesy ahh writing I've done at 4 am

He has already got used to be thrown insults at.

"Creep!"

Basically an everyday routine by now.

"Pervert!"

Wake up, go to school, hear gross words, go home.

"Queer!"

Day after day, how many times he didn't try to hide and skip in the bathroom. In fact, there, a new way of torture started: banging on the door, throwing wet toilet paper, looking under the door, and again, insults. He didn't even do anything to provoke them. In Hawkins High, you have to simply be a loner, to be chosen as a punching bag. Jonathan got tired of it. Every day. He dreamt of just staying at home sometimes.

It was one of those day, when everything seemed to be pushing him. When the oh so familiar words he didn't really care about anymore, started hurting again for some reason. But he couldn't do anything. He couldn't and he knew it. So what else was there left but just take it? Take every push, every punch, every insult... Just waiting. Waiting once it will all be over again, and he could get up and go home.

Jonathan closed his eyes, listening to the same words again and again, even starting to wish his bullies would think of something new, as he was getting bored of those same phrases over and over. That is, until he heard a new voice.

"Hey, get the fuck off him."

Everyone stopped at the same time, as if a switch went off.

"The hell dude? The police are coming or something?" - that's Tommy's voice, he's a total bastard, annoying as hell.

"No, but I am. Get. The fuck. Away. Bitch." - again, that new voice. Jonathan didn't recognize it, at least, he didn't think he did.

"Jeez, do you have a problem? Why so feisty?" - Tina. She's not actually doing anything, just standing around, laughing her ass off.

"Guys, that's L/N... If he's serious, we actually have to go, like, right now... Have you seen what he's done to Billy's face that one time?" - Vicki. She whispered that last part to the rest of the group.

After which, fast running and some phrases, unrelated to Jonathan could be heard, furthering away. He was abandoned, once more. Thrown out like a toy, once someone took it away from it's previous owners. And Byers had a feeling, the new owner's going to test out his new toy really soon...

His steps came closer, until he stopped, about ten inches away from Jonathan's head on the ground.

"You're alive?"

Jonathan nodded, biting his lip and nervously trying to cover his face up.

"You like lying around like this or what? Meditating?"

He heard a deep laugh above him. Jonathan opened up his eyes a little, being ready to shut them at any needed moment. He was met with a curious face above his, which had a sly smile and a cigarette in it's mouth.

"Ayy, you woke up! That's good."

Jonathan felt a pat on his shoulder, at which he flinched instinctively.

"Hey, relax, I don't enjoy beating people up, unlike some fuckers, who can't even take one person without a group..."

Byers made an attempt to stand up, and failed miserably, before being caught by the stranger he still was cautious of.

"Careful there... What's your name, eh, pretty boy?"

"Jonathan..."

"You have a last name, John?"

The stranger smiled, smoke coming out his mouth.

"Byers..."

"Good to know. I'm Y/N L/N. You may have heard some things, don't take them as gospel, really."

Jonathan thought about it for some time. He did remember some talks about a student with the same last name beating the shit out of Billy Hargrove on some party. And teachers talking about someone like that stealing something from the cafeteria...

Byers nodded, nervously looking around.

"Hey, it's alright. I promise I won't hurt you, okay, pretty boy? I only bite if someone bites me first. Or if... I'm asked to."

Y/N winked, making an unfamiliar feeling bloom in Jonathan's chest.

"So, Jonathan, wanna go somewhere? Like, to eat, or maybe just hang around the streets or some shit... I'm bored out of my mind, if I'm honest, and you seem like a bodyguard wouldn't hurt. What do you say? No pressure."

Sure. No pressure. This big, intimidating man, who just scared off his bullies with two sentences, is now being all friendly, asking to hangout, and saying, no pressure?!

So, of course Jonathan said yes.

And if he's being honest... He didn't regret it. Y/N turned out to be a surprisingly guy to talk to, once the fear wore off. They went to get some food, and then took a relaxing walk in the woods, talking about whatever. Y/N ended up driving Jonathan back to his house, and when Byers got undressed to go to sleep, he found a note in his back pocket.

"Sorry for scaring you, pretty boy. xoxo"

And a number written down.

Jonathan smiled and shoved the note under his pillow.

-----

"Jonathan, your boyfriend's here!" - Will shouted in the direction of his brothers room, moving out of Y/N's way, as he entered the house.

"I swear to god Will, if you don't stop calling him that!"

L/N chuckled, as his friend emerged from his room, rubbing his eyes and faintly smiling.

"Hey, Y/N... Where are we... We going somewhere?" - Jonathan looked up and down at his friend.

"I don't know. We can go somewhere if you want. I mean, you said Will's going to leave, so..."

"Yeah, I am. So you two can kiss all you want." - Will said as he took his backpack out his room, heading to the dood.

Y/N laughed again, as Jonathan covered his face in annoyance.

"Thanks for your permission, Will. Wouldn't have done it without."

So there they were, sitting in Jonathan's room, as Joy Division played softly. Y/N had his hands wrapped around Jonathan's figure lightly, the other boy's head on his shoulder.

"Thank you." - Byers's voiced echoed in the room lightly.

"What are you... talking about?"

"Thank you. For saving me then, for providing me emotional support... For making the bullying less intense now..."

"Nah, you'll thank me once it'll be completely over, Jonathan the pretty boy."

"Well, that's a new name."

"Couldn't decide which one to call you, so I chose both. Sounds chessy as hell, I know."

"It does, but y'know... That's why I like it."

Y/N laughed, ruffling Jonathan's hair up and giving him a quick peck on the lips. Jonathan froze, looking at the other boy wide-eyed. Only after he realised what he had done, L/N quickly stood up, grabbed his jacket and stammering out:

"Sorry I... I just remembered... I uh... Need to go."

He stormed out of Jonathan's room, his hands shaking a little when he tried to open the front door. Stumbling with the lock, he felt a pair of hands on his shoulders. Y/N slowly turned around, only to be met by a pair of lips smashing into his. Wasting no time, Y/N reciprocated, lifting Jonathan up by the waist, pushing the kiss deeper. When they finally parted, Jonathan rested his forehead on Y/N's, feeling each others heavy breath on their lips.

"And thank you... For this, too... Y/N, the pretty boy."

[princeasimdiya12]

Bucchigiri Finale Thoughts

So I watched Episode 12 earlier today and had some time to think things over. And unfortunately, I realized that I didn't like this episode very much. Granted there are a good amount of moments that I did enjoy and contributed well to the main themes of the series. But there were too many moments that I felt undercut my enjoyment of the show. So fair warning, a lot of what I have to say is fairly critical and kinda negative. If you agree or disagree with anything I've said here, feel free to reblog this with your own comments. And if you're not into negativity, feel free to ignore this.

But I will start by mentioning the things I did like.

Just like everyone and their gyoza-making mothers, I loved the final fight scenes. The choreography was well executed and I thought the animation was top notch, both when it came to Senya vs Ichiya and Arajin vs Matakara. I really liked how in depth they went with the fighting sequences and the dark colors fit really well with the tone of the drama of the scene. The emotional range between the fighters felt incredible; the actors truly gave it their all when going about their fights.

And the part with Arajin mustering the power to save Matakara was beautifully done. I was in awe when Arajin brought up how Matakara became the very monster he tried desperately to destroy which really got a crack on his defenses. The sequence of Arajin reaching out to Matakara's inner child to help him out of his despair was gorgeous. Especially since Ara-chan used the Friendship Stone both to help the inner child and later when telling his old friend that he's not alone anymore. That was really great and genuine character growth, especially since Arajin accepted that he was in the wrong for leaving him all the time.

And as I mentioned in an earlier post, I did love the first scene with Arajin meeting Matakara for the first time. But as a twist, it was Arajin who was inspired by Matakara's dedication to being a Honki Person and volunteered himself to train alongside his new friend. That was a great twist and it adds new depths to how Arajin was actually inspiried by his old friend and not the other way around like we believed for so long.

So those were the parts that I genuinely enjoyed. Now for the parts I didn't really like..

On one hand, while it is nice that Zabu wasn't brutally beaten to subconsciousness, I do kiinda wish that he did have to be hospitalized. It just feels so off-putting how he's relatively okay despite being brutally mauled by Matakara only a few hours ago. Especially since Marito and Kenichirou wound up in the hospital after losing to Matakara. Plus I feel like it undercuts the drama and severity of the situation by having Zabu be fine enough to look for Matakara. It doesn't help that he and Komao don't really do much apart from running around trying to find their friend.

Also, I hope I'm not the only one but did anyone else feel uncomfortable with this scene?

I understand that Mahoro did it in a desperate bid to bring her brother back but the way she described Kenichirou here was just... gross.

Not insane, not weird, not quirky, not even ridiculous.

It was just gross for me to see her dehumanize one of the few dark skinned characters on the show. Even if he's not black/black coded, it still rubs me the wrong way that she would say those things so casually. Especially since Japan can be really casual when it comes to making racist/offensive remarks to brown skinned people in it's media. Plus there are tons of other ways she could have referred to him without calling him a gorilla. Like meathead, blockhead, oaf, ogre. Any other insult could have worked and been more acceptable than the ape insult. And it's unfortunately consistent since she did call him a gorilla during the Gang War Arc.

And then there's this part...

I don't know if it was Mahoro's doing or if that's what the original nurses did, but it was just uncalled for. Both for the unspoken racism and for how it doesn't even apply to Kenichirou's character. Out of the three banchos, he's always been the least violent and was always shown to be tranquil and easy to work with, unlike Marito and Akutaro who were more unhinged, wild and violent in comparison. There shouldn't be any reason for him to behave so violently that the staff would resort to shackling him like an animal. Especially given how defeated he looked when Matakara beat him in a fight.

Another reason why I dislike this scene is because the characters involved (Mahoro, Marito, Kenichirou) do nothing to contribute to the final duel between Arajin and Matakara. None of these characters actually show up until the end when Matakara apologizes to everyone. You could have made it so that during the apology scenes, the two gang leaders could have shown up while covered in bandages or crutches. There really isn't a need to show us Marito waking up since we could get that later on in the end with Matakara apologizing to Siguma Squad.

The same can be argued for Zabu, Komao, Outa, Jabashiri and Hagure. Even though they spend most of their time hunting down Matakara and Arajin, they don't exactly contribute to the final duel or offer any words to the main heroes. They just show up and the duo resolve their problem like nothing.

Regarding Ichiya's secret of him dying, while it's not the worst reason for him to be so insistent on fighting Senya, I do wish there was more build up or at least some hints to it. It just feels like a random reason for why Ichiya developed his grudge against Senya. It's not the worst reason and it does make sense for why he wanted to die like a Honki Person instead of to a random illness, it just leaves a bad taste to how it happened to him out of randomness.

And wow, Arajin is never going to overcome the internet hating him for being a perverted simp mc.

In a way, it makes some sense since Arajin's character arc was never about respecting women or learning that there's other ways to be a man apart from stealing a girl's virginity. That was never the focus as the story wanted him to confront his mistake of abandoning his old friend and not running away from his problems. That said, this still won't look good for him since fans are going to be turned off of Bucchigiri because of his perversions and how the show doesn't encourage him to change.

And as I've come to realize, the show itself doesn't seem to mind with the characters not growing out of their negative vices. A critique I have is that the show doesn't go out of it's way to challenge the beliefs of these characters or push them to grow into better people. Arajin is perfectly okay with being rude to everyone while pursuing a girl just so he can lose his virginity to her, Mahoro continues to lust over her older brother and has no interest in anything else, Marito is still a bloodthirsty bad boy who lives and breathes fighting, Kenichirou doesn't mind repeating high school as long as he gets to run Minato Kai, even Yayako prefers to act like a bubbly airhead rather then act like a responsible and respectful adult. And even with Matakara's corruption arc, he doesn't really recognize how harmful his idolization of Arajin was since the focus was more on his loneliness and trauma of being alone. Maybe because I'm spoiled by Mob Psycho 100, but it saddens me to see how these characters don't grow into better people or make an effort to change themselves. Especially since there can be potential for all of them.

And while I'm glad that Arajin and Matakara were able to become friends again, it feels like a letdown that there's no build up to it. It just rushes straight to them becoming friends again without acknowledging their negative attributes. Th same with puppy boy getting everyone to just accept him with no repercussions or consequences. It feels like letdown as there were no serious consequences for his actions. Like he could just go on a despair-induced rampage again and they'll just keep accepting him. On paper it's rather wholesome, but it does feel contrived if everything just works out without problems or how Matakara doesn't need to work hard to earn their forgiveness. That would have been for a greater character moment and to show Matakara taking responsibility for his actions. But we never see Matakara doing that and him being accepted by the gang feels rather hollow. It's technically nice that he has his friends back and that SS won't have his heart on a stick, but it feels hollow.

Speaking of taking non-responsibilities and being accepted by the gangs, Akutaro is now back with the NG Boys and they're accepting of him?

I really do wish we could have had a scene that explains how the heck he was able to win back his old gang despite them professing that they weren't going to let him beat them around like before. It just feels offputting that Akutaro is back in charge and has their respect with zero explanation or even any build up to it. He spent all his time trying out different jobs and activities but nothing to suggest that he wants to go back to his old club again.

Not to mention that this is still bad news for Minato Kai since Akutaro still has his hatred for Kenichirou and still longs to destroy him. And given how he also hasn't grown out of his negative vices, it's more than likely he'll come up with a new plan to destroy them albeit a different approach. Though the other gangs will be aware of him trying to wreak havoc on them again, I sincerely doubt that that'll stop Akutaro from having his revenge. And with the NG Boys and Girls behind his back, he definitely has a shot at it.

Then there's the resolution with the Nyan Nyaight Love segment. While it was endearing with the Receptionist wanting to help out the Customer, I'm just trying to wrap around the logic behind the Receptionist accepting him again.

It doesn't make sense to me how he'd be accepting of the guy who abducted one of your prized cats, lose her, and then just welcome him back with another cat. It's setting up a cycle for the Customer to fall in love with a new cat only for him to become obsessed with her and then try to steal the cat out of "love". And while the show focuses on him learning to lose his shame of visiting NNL, it doesn't try to challenge his dependency on cats for company along with his hostile jealousy.

Is the Receptionist aware of this potential problem and how it can happen again to another cat? Is the manager of NNL willing to accept the Customer again along with the risk of jeopardizing his business? I can't imagine how difficult it must be to promote a cat only to lose it because of a depressed nutjob.

Also, to the anon who was grossed out by Arajin's mom, I'd like to give a complete apology to you for refuting your claims. Because this...

This was not necessary.

I mean, it is interesting to know that Marito shows attraction to girls/women which gives more depth to his character. And while it is weird for him to hit on an older women, it's still technically okay since it is normal for teens/youth to show attraction to adults that catch their interest.

But what isn't okay is Yayako's reaction to his attention.

Again, she is a grown woman getting over excited because a teenage boy is trying to hit on her. And she's okay with this? Like ma'am, not only is that concerning because of the blatant age differences but you're also a married woman (according to the additional info). How are you so lenient with being hit on by a guy who could pass for your son? Like really? I used to think of Yayako as a quirky, wholesome woman who needed to not let her son treat her like trash. But now I'm seriously questioning her values and how she treats everything in her life like a soap opera.

In regards to Mitsukuni being in a coma and waking up, it was... okay. Like I'm happy that Matakara will get his big brother back and they'll be able to move into an apartment like they wanted to. But I feel that the reveal of him being in a coma undercut alot of the emotional turmoil Matakara went through. I don't know, it just feels rather hollow knowing that Mitsukuni was always there and was going to make it out alive while his little brother was running around like a war machine. It's conflicting in all honesty.

But what isn't conflicting was how much I really didn't care much for Senya returning in the last shot. I wasn't moved by Senya showing up in the last scene or how Arajin secretly missed him. Maybe it's because of how Arajin constantly yelled at him or acted like he didn't care. And while he does care in his own way, I just felt disinterested in the reunion and I had no strong emotions of Senya returning. It doesn't help that the part with Senya and Ichiya "leaving" didn't really have alot of emotional depth to make the reunion more impactful. Senya not coming back would not have me upset.

And those would be my thoughts on the final episode. For those who stuck around to read all of this, I thank you for doing so. And to those that stuck around, I apologize for the excessive negativity. And like I mentioned above, you're more than welcome to reblog this with your thoughts and whether you agreed, disagreed or have something to say regarding my post.

Thank you all for taking the time to read this along with my other posts for this ridiculous show. Your feedback means alot to me and I hope you all have a wonderful weekend!

Nana na na, Nana na na, Nana na na na na...

[boysbellyrubs]

Hmm okay. Sorry in advance for the mini essay but here goes!

How about a CainexQuinn fic where the two of them are having a cozy weekend or couple days off and have been doing fun and cutesy Fall things like visiting a pumpkin patch/fall carnival, going apple picking, etc. Quinn’s tummy starts to get a little upset early on in the day but he brushes it off and chalks it up to the sweets he’s been overindulging on. He thinks he’s being discreet but there’s no hiding from Caine, especially when Caine has been able to hear the rumbling of Quinn’s tummy for the past hour and a half. Caine subtly comforts Quinn while they’re in public, pretending to be unaware. After they’re all done with outings, they go home to hole up in a blanket fort in bed and have a cozy afternoon watching movies but poor Quinn’s tum has only gotten progressively more upset throughout the beginning of the first movie. Turns out he’s coming down with case of food poisoning or a tummy bug!

Lots of comfort and fluff (but also nsfw grossness if you’re down lmao)

🪼

sorry for making you wait so long anon 😭, I've been studying for exams and shit so I haven't really had the motivation. However, here it is, a little different to what you requested because it has been sitting in my docs for years, but i hope you still enjoy :)).

it's also quite long hehe.

---

Quinn’s stomach was beginning to ache. He knew he shouldn’t have eaten a big brunch on top of all the lollies he had been snacking on. But, who could blame him? It was Halloween season and Caine loved to keep their stash of lollies topped up all the time. 

They were currently walking through the botanical gardens in their city, the day was sunny and there was a cool breeze to combat the humidity. They had set up some Halloween decorations, bats and orange pumpkins filled the paths. Caine was holding his hand the whole time, ranting about anything and everything. Quinn’s stomach gurgled faintly, mixing up the food and sending a spike of pain through his middle. He felt icky. Sweaty and an acidic burn was resting in his throat. 

“Look, Quinn, ducks!” Caine pointed ahead of them at a pair of Paradise Ducks waddling along the path. People were crouched down and snapping photos of them. Caine dragged him along to get closer. “Aw, man I love ducks. I wish I could pat them.” 

Quinn smiled. “Yeah, if only we could keep it as a pet.” Caine sighed while staring at them. He quickly pulled out his phone to take a photo, letting Quinn’s hand go in the process. He crouched to get a good photo and Quinn put his hand on his stomach, resting it on the most sore part. It rumbled as he did so, hopefully Caine hadn’t heard that. 

The other stood up, quickly reviewing his photos and taking Quinn’s hand again. They kept walking, through the arches and under the shades of trees. They made their way to a cafe area, with a pond and even more ducks. Caine gasped and quickly went over. 

“They’re feeding them! Let’s go inside, maybe they have food for them.” Quinn followed his excited boyfriend inside, letting him run ahead. The air conditioned cafe was like walking into a freezer, goosebumps immediately popped up all over Quinn’s arms. He folded them and went to Caine. The other was speaking to one of the workers and was handed two little bags full of sunflower seeds. 

“Here, these are for the ducks.” It was hard to not smile when Caine handed him the bag. He looked so elated to be doing this. Quinn pushed aside his pain for a moment and went to feed the ducks. They were aggressive little things, pecking and biting at Quinn’s palm. He chuckled as one of them hopped up right in front of Caine, eager to get the seeds in his own hand. Quinn tipped some more onto his hand and tossed them straight into the water, the ducks quacking and splashing around for them. As he watched, the splashing of the waves mimicked his belly; violent and nauseating. He hugged his middle subtly, forcing down the acidic belch that wanted to come up his throat. 

“I’m all out. Have you got any left?” Caine’s voice said next to him. He looked over and handed Caine the rest of his bag. “Are you sure?” He asked, already reaching for it. 

“Yeah, go ahead. I’m just going to find a bathroom.” Caine nodded, already engrossed in his duck feeding task. Quinn stood up. His stomach sloshed inside him like a washing machine, making him put his hand dead centre on his belly. Quinn forced a burp, the action doing nothing to help. He made his way to the cafe bathroom, quickly glancing in the mirror at his sweaty reflection before going inside one of the stalls. 

His stomach gurgled again, squeezing and churning. He hugged his stomach, rubbing along the tightest part and forcing up more burps. He cringed as some stomach acid came up, and spit it out into the toilet. God, he felt disgusting. He knew he shouldn’t have eaten so many lollies, it was bound to give him a tummy ache. He groaned at another gurgle, this one lasting a long painful few seconds. Time seemed to slow down the longer he stayed there, he felt like he was about to vomit everything up but also he felt like he was going to collapse. Quinn was genuinely considering whether there had been poison in those lollies. 

He heard the main door open. “Quinn? You in here?” 

Quinn tried to sort himself out in 3 seconds. He opened the door and smiled at his boyfriend. “Hey.” 

“Are you alright? You sort’ve disappeared for ages.” Caine approached him as he went to wash his hands. He put his hand gently on Quinn’s back. 

“Yup, I’m fine.” He knew he wasn’t really putting on a good act but, his tummy hurt, okay. 

Caine nodded, seemingly convinced. “Alright, should we head home then? We can grab some snacks at the supermarket, there’s one like five minutes from here.” 

More snacks, which probably meant more lollies. Quinn didn’t want to put a damper on Caine’s mood so he just agreed and followed him out of the bathroom. As they were leaving, Quinn felt his stomach turn, a queasy rumble echoing out of it. He bit his lip at the feeling, hating how it made his knees shake. Caine’s hand was the one thing connecting him to Earth at this point, so he squeezed it tighter as they followed the path. The other turned to smile at him as he did so. 

He leaned over, kissing Quinn’s cheek. “I had fun today. Let’s go home and watch a movie to relax, yeah?” 

That sounded like just what he needed. “Sounds good.” 

The supermarket was blissfully cold, Quinn was tempted to stay right where the meat was just to stay cool. He followed Caine around like a puppy as he picked up some dinner things and just as he predicted, more lollies. Fruitbursts, Maltesers, Skittles, Sour Snakes; Quinn’s stomach was already feeling the effects of those. They eventually left the shop with their haul and made their way back to the car. 

The trip was awful. He was barely speaking, unable to open his mouth without fearing everything would come back up. Quinn stared out the window as his vision wobbled, his stomach gurgling angrily at him. Caine not saying anything about it was a mystery. They were at a red light and Caine looked over. 

“Did you have fun today?” 

Quinn forced his head around. If anything, he was going to be nice to his boyfriend. “Yeah, it was relaxing to walk around the gardens.” 

“Good, I had fun too.” He put his hand on Quinn’s thigh, rubbing his thumb across Quinn’s jeans. Butterflies overtook Quinn’s upset tummy, floating around like the way Caine’s hair flittered along with the blow of the air conditioner. He stared at the love of his life. 

“I love you.” 

Quinn would never get over the way Caine’s cheeks went rosy as he said those words. Every time without fail. “Love you too.” He leaned over for a quick kiss before the lights turned green. The moment ended and Quinn stared back out the window. Despite his insides destroying him, he was quite content. Of course, this didn’t last very long. When he got out of the car, he felt his stomach drop down to his feet and a thick wave of undigested rubbish sloshed inside him. He put a hand to his middle. 

“Can you grab this bag?” Caine was half way out of the car, thrusting his hand back out with a shopping bag in it. Quinn rushed over and took it, the weight pulling his arms down. 

“Jesus, did you buy bricks without me knowing?” 

Caine pulled his head out of the boot, shutting it with a slam. “You must have the milk. Come on, let’s get inside.” 

The sun made their shadows long as they walked to the front door. Caine fished out his keys with difficulty, but eventually they were both inside with bags lining the bench. Quinn felt his stomach grumble and he went to sit on the couch, a wave of exhaustion washing over him. The couch dipped next to him. 

Caine’s warm hand softly touched Quinn’s nape. “Let’s have an easy night, huh? Something quick for dinner and then we can watch a movie.” 

Quinn just nodded, leaning into his touch and closing his eyes. Everything felt at peace when Caine was around, even when he felt sick. His head had progressively gotten worse on the drive home, he felt foggy and loopy. He had a feeling if he was asked to walk in a perfectly straight line he would fail on the second step. He sank further down, leaning his head on Caine’s shoulder. 

His stomach chose right now to make a fuss. It cramped inside him and he flinched, a noise of discomfort falling from his mouth. He couldn’t resist turning his head inwards to Caine’s neck. 

“Tired?” Quinn nodded. He felt like he’d been hit by a bus. This tired was the kind of tired he got when he came back from skiing, like weights were attached to every single part of his body and they just kept getting heavier. He must have a fever. 

Caine kissed his head. “You stay here. I’ll make us something.” His warmth disappeared and Quinn almost fell. However, he lowered himself to lay on the couch, wrapping his arms around his middle and tucking his knees up. On his side, his belly was gurgling louder than it had all day, desperately trying to digest what was inside. He moaned and hugged tighter. He wanted Caine to notice his distress, needing some much needed comfort after an awful day. Quinn went to stand, his head spinning once he got upright, and made his way to the kitchen. 

Caine had his head in the fridge, tapping his fingers on the door. 

“Babe?” 

Caine’s head emerged, hair flopping over his eyes. “Yeah?” 

Quinn shuffled forward, feeling much like a child who had thrown up in his bed. He stuffed his hands in his pockets and came to rest on Caine’s shoulder. The other wrapped his arms around Quinn, “What is it?” 

“I don’t feel good.” 

Caine chuckled, rubbing Quinn’s back. “I see. Bad, how?” He grabbed Quinn’s shoulders and held him out at arms length. Quinn was barely keeping his eyes open, everything was hitting him at once and all he wanted was to lie down with his boyfriend and rest. 

“Bad everything.” He whined, pushing through Caine’s grip and slotting himself back into his boyfriend’s chest. He heard the rumble of Caine’s laugh and his strong arms wrapping around his body again. This was where Quinn needed to stay forever. 

“Okay, do you need the bathroom?” As those words left Caine’s mouth, he felt his stomach get considerably worse. The churning intensified and the shakiness of his knees increased tenfold. He gripped Caine’s arms. 

“I don’t think I’m gonna make it there.” 

Caine’s eyes narrowed. “What do you-” Quinn cut him off by promptly turning towards the sink and spewing out his undigested stomach contents. He spluttered and grabbed his belly, hating how it contracted and brought up more burning stomach acid. Quinn hiccuped. 

“F-fuck me this hurts.” Caine’s hand rested on his back and the other smoothed back Quinn’s fringe from his face. He coughed again, feeling the lollies from earlier rocket up his throat and splatter into the drain. Quinn cringed at a cramp that made his back curl forward, head almost hitting the tap. His belly gurgled fiercely and he gripped it tight, spitting up more chunks of chocolate and gummy lollies. 

Caine rubbed his back. “Have you been feeling this bad all day?” 

Before Quinn could give him an answer, his stomach decided now was the perfect time to cramp and send him burping up more sick. He moaned, knees buckling and forearms smashing into the corner of the bench. “Ooh, babe.” Caine said, his arms now wrapping around Quinn’s middle to keep him steady. 

Quinn’s forehead scrunched up, god, he felt awful. It felt like his fever was just getting worse the more he kept standing, he was desperate to turn the cold water on and stick his head under it. Caine’s hands ran along his bloated belly, fingertips softly gliding across it and Quinn focused on it. 

“You alright?” Caine said. 

Quinn nodded minutely. “Just trying to focus on not falling over.” He breathed out, calming his racing heart and trying desperately to ignore the constant grumbling of his stomach. 

Soon enough, the world stopped spinning and his nausea lowered. He had just been panting over the sink, saliva dripping rhythmically onto the stainless steel. Quinn groaned, letting his head drop. 

“Finished?” Caine’s hands moved off his middle and came to sit above Quinn’s tailbone. The other nodded, spitting out the final remnants of acid and food. He slowly turned around with his arms resting on the bench. 

“Yep. Can we just relax now?” 

“Of course.” 

After all that, Caine had left Quinn to the couch while he gathered up supplies. Supplies meaning pillows, blankets, and a bucket, just in case. He came back, and set everything up and he ended up making a little fort for the two of them to stay in. It was cute. 

“Master architect right here.” Caine said, hands resting proudly on his hips. 

Quinn nodded. “Changing career paths?” 

“The building world needs someone like me.” He said with a big grin on his face. He grabbed Quinn’s hands and gently pulled him up, kissing his nose. “You're warm. And you smell like fever. No need to fear though, just sit down here and I’ll be back with some meds.” 

Quinn smiled at Caine’s antics, sitting down. Caine came back pretty quickly, settling himself down and presenting the pills from behind his back. “Now, take small sips while taking these.” 

He did, and then the two quickly got snuggled under the blankets and down on the pillows. Quinn smiled. 

“Thank you, baby.” 

Caine seemed pleased with himself. “No worries, I love taking care of you. Speaking of?” He lifted up his hand and made eyes at Quinn’s stomach. Quinn laughed and nodded, moving closer so Caine could rub his stomach. 

“I think I’ve got the stomach flu or something.” 

“Yeah, I figured. I’ll look after you for as long as you need though.” Caine kissed his cheek, keeping his head there for a moment. The two were silent for a few minutes, Quinn quietly enjoying the pampering. An upset gurgle interrupted them. 

“Mmh, it hurts.” He whined. The next few days were going to be awful. 

“Shh, shh, it’s okay. Just relax. Focus on my hand.” Caine’s hand ran up Quinn’s arms and sides. He trickled his touch around Quinn’s shoulders and gently played with his hair. “Feel this?” He poked Quinn’s thigh. 

Quinn nodded with his eyes closed. “Okay. Now this?” Another poke, this time on Quinn’s elbow. “Just focus on my touch, love. Ignore the feelings inside your belly.” His hand lay flat on his chest, up to his neck and gently across his collarbones. He poked his chin now, bringing a smile out of Quinn. 

“There we are. Don’t worry about anything else.” Besides the rustling of fabric, and Caine’s occasional comment the room was peaceful. Quinn was slowly falling asleep and the sickness inside him faded into the background. 

---

[shoukiko]

Hi, you can keep this unanswered and not post it, but I want to help you understand the thought behind some of the points in your criticism post. Before I start I want to apologise if I come off as blunt and rude, that's not my intention and I'll try my best to show my tone as unthreatening but I'm autistic and not a native English speaker, which complicates things lol

*general you used throughout the ask

First, I want to start with this: they all are part of the army. You don't need to dig much to see you'll rarely see a "morally upstanding" person in the army, be it because they're cheaters, abusers, compliant with all that or they're (insert -ist/-phobe category here). UK military spouses are 3 times more likely to experience intimate partner violence (IPV). I'm not saying the COD characters need to be written like that, but it wouldn't be "unrealistic" if we take real life statistics into account.

Second, and maybe the most important thing, everyone writes COD characters OOC. The majority of the active fandom on Tumblr and tiktok have seen gifs and 10min out of context clips from the game at best. It's to be expected to not frequently find something actually in character for a lot of the guys. Especially with characters that are just operators like König, Nikto and Krueger. In their case everything is and isn't OOC at the same time because we just... Don't know these characters. We lack characterisation past maybe 1-3 traits about them. I'd argue that's why the fandom liked König so much, other than being masked, he's the perfect paper doll! You can dress him up in whatever characterisation you want and it probably won't contradict his canon (because he barely has one and what he has is quickly misinterpreted (anxiety disorder turning into shyness for example)).

Now specifically on your "How are you going to hc a victim as the abuser?" - simple, whether you like to accept it or not is up to you, but it's not far fetched for victims to become abusers later in life. Just look at serial killers statistics - 74% of US serial killers were psychologically abused and 42% were physically abused as children and later in life followed a similar pattern brought to an extreme. Or on the other hand, a tamer example would be generational trauma because that's how we get that (grandparent was abused and because that's all they know, they implement it in bringing up their child who, for the same reason, implements it in bringing up the grandchild and so on).

The final thing I want to say is, it's good to block people who you don't vibe with. Doesn't matter if it's because they wrote something that personally disturbed you or you simply don't like their blog theme or you see them too often in the tag. Personally curating your experience is key in fandom, utilise the tools Tumblr has given us. Of course as you and others have mentioned that's impossible without some assistance from the other side. Tagging is extremely important (tagging with the correct words without censoring!!! Or the filter won't catch! Rape, noncon, incest ✅; r@pe, n*nc*n, 1nc*st ✖️✖️).

I hope this isn't too messy or long aaaa

I really appreciate you taking the time to type this up and actually speak to me about this, your input is very appreciated. /gen

I do think I could've done better on that post since I wrote it in the heat of the moment, all characters are written OOC and it was ignorant of me to say

"Maybe read the characters backstories and actually take their past into consideration because you guys kinda look dumb for making these characters so OOC."

I hope ya'll can really take the time to see my POV, I did not mean. any harm, I've come across some gross things, but blocking and filtering tags so much as begun to be tiring.

My main issue is tagging, without tagging I am left with getting triggered by random posts because the first few sentences may include something on my trigger list.

That's all I want and also what a lot of other people want.

Writing is meant for anyone and everyone, a form of art and perhaps a for of therapy.

Please tag your work, you are not the only person on the internet.

Thank you for reading!

[hillbillyoracle]

My Care Kit

I've hesitated posting about this because I know it's not hard for this to get to the wrong side of the site - because even though there's been an awesome shift in the conversation about how care can look at different levels of functioning, we're still not really there yet. So if you're rude in the comments, tags, or reblogs, expect to blocked. Cause I just don't have it in me.

With that out of the way, I wanted to talk about what's been allowing me to be infinitely more regular with skincare, grooming, and to a lesser degree dental routines - my care kit.

It's not mindblowing or original. I basically just took all the stuff I was storing in the bathroom and store it in my bedroom to use there. I'm sure plenty of people have figured this out before me but it took me a minute to realize how helpful this is.

So what's in here?

Skincare

CeraVe AM Moisturizer

The Ordinary Hyaluronic Acid

Good Molecules Discoloration Correcting Serum

CereVe "in the Tub" - Moisturizing Cream

Differin Gel*

*Differing Gel is something I only use when I take this kit to the bathroom as it's important to wash your hands after using a retinol

"But you're supposed to use it on wet skin!" - yeah I know. I keep a small spray bottle in here to wet my skin before applying

"But that can mold!" - yeah I know. It's a small one and I use it up in a few days before I need to refill it. I try to clean it regularly too.

But ultimately done is better than none. I accept some risk in order to make this accessible to me. My skin is no longer so dry it's cracking and getting infected. Thank god.

Grooming

Native Deodorant - Black Oak + Amber

Black Phoenix Alchemy Lab & Sphere and Sundry - Her Eyes That Were Full of Shining Perfume Oil

Kat Von D - Everlasting Liquid Lipstick in "Witches"

Besame Cosmetics - Black Cake Mascara

Tweezerman Tweezers

I don't use all of this all of the time but I appreciate having the option. Sometimes you know you're not getting out of bed but you'd like to look nice. Sometimes looking nice helps you get out of bed.

Not pictured but I keep a small mirror on my shelf near where I store this bag. I use that for make up and tweezing. When tweezing, I wipe the edges off with a tissue then toss it the next time I get up. I also rinse it the next time I use it at the sink. Not perfect, I know. But it helps.

I do have a facial razor in here, but I only use that at the sink at the moment. I also want to swap from disposable to reusable soon. But baby steps and all that.

Dental

And now for the part that will horrify some people and be saving grace to others.

Disposable pre-pasted toothbrushes

Sea to Summit Collapsible Cup with Lid

I won't be accepting comments on this. It's personal and I hesitated to share this because I know it's polarizing. But I know there's something like me out there for whom this would help a ton.

I have a horrible reaction to most toothpastes. I'm talking brush my teeth for 2 minutes, shitting on the toilet for multiple hours afterwards bad. It is miserable and makes me terrified to brush my teeth. I also have just always struggled with it and been shamed a lot for it.

These dang pre-pasted toothbrushes for some reason I do not react to. Idk if it's the fact I toss them after or the paste they're using somehow doesn't have the thing I'm reacting to but I can finally brush my teeth without unbearable cramps afterward.

I recommend them for people who are depressed, bedbound, or otherwise can't get to the sink to brush their teeth though. For me it falls into the camp of medical waste - which no one should be shaming anyone for - if it's this or nothing.

The collapsible cup will also put some people off. What I do is spit into the cup, cap it, then empty and clean it whenever I get up next. Gross? Maybe. But it works. I've not had issues with smell this way and since it's capped, there's no way to spill it if I lose my balance or accidentally kick it.

Miscellaneous

Holotaco Nail Kit

Badger Sleep Balm

The nail kit was a gift and boy oh boy is it nice. You don't need this one but something like this is a godsend. It is so nice to be able to clip nails back, file them, and clean them up without needing to like make a session of it in the bathroom. I'm considering adding my fav base coat, nail polish, and top coat so I can more easily paint them too.

Badger Sleep Balm has become a part of how I wind down and also how I help recover from panic attacks. I've taught myself some basics of self massage and use this to make it go a little easier. I really recommend learning. There are some good videos on youtube and I get fewer cricks in my neck now.

Conclusion

I really hope this helps someone out. Maybe this doesn't suit your particular use case but I hope it serves as an example that sometimes you're not keeping your desired routines because the environment needs a redesign and sometimes that requires thinking outside the box a little.

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

reading update: January 2024

as long as I'm talking about The Gargoyle's Captive, let's discuss what else I've been reading this month.

Maeve Fly (CJ Leede, 2023) - I really liked this slender debut novel, which follows the titular Maeve Fly as she prowls LA like a homicidal alien, playing an unnamed ice princess in a certain theme park by day and indulging her murderous tendencies by night. Maeve is in a downward spiral; she's 27 years old and is preparing to lose her grandmother to illness and her only friend to a blossoming acting career. she sees no future for herself beyond losing the only two people she cares about and has no further goals, contenting herself with alcohol and porn while she rereads the same books, rewatches the same videos, and listens over and over to her playlist of Halloween music. Maeve is, it must be said, an abysmal loser, and I like her terrible melodrama a lot. I do think some of the hype is perhaps overstating the feminist credentials of this book; it sort of reminds me of when a college friend told me their favorite feminist movie was Suicide Squad (2016) because Harley Quinn was in it. Maeve talks a lot of big game about how women are always expected to have some tragedy to be deranged serial killers, while men are allowed to just do it, but it hit me as a little tryhard. there are a lot of books trying to be "the female American Psycho" right now - Eliza Clark's 2020 novel Boy Parts is frequently described as such - but it feels a bit too on the nose when Maeve's ultimate climactic rampage is directly inspired by a glimpse of the American Psycho novel. it's not that deep, but it is a gross, captivating read told from a fascinatingly cracked POV. check out Maeve Fly.

Laziness Does Not Exist (Devon Price, 2021) - yeah Devon Price is still following me (though my days are numbered, I'm sure) so it's a massive relief to say that I did like this book. Price has sort of become my self-help ride or die, mainly because a.) he's so much more self-aware than the average self-help writer that it feels kind of insulting to call him one and b.) he's actually dealing with topics that are relevant or interesting and providing actionable advice. while LDNE didn't engross me quite as hard as Unmasking Autism (while I am, famously, not autistic, I do believe in their beliefs, by which I mean I'm the token allistic among my close friends and I vastly prefer autistic company) it hit me hard in several unexpected pressure points. I'll happily admit that I can't relate to Price's interviewees who willingly work 50+ hours a week for jobs that hate them and are destroying their minds and bodies, but I still struggle to escape the perpetual sensation that a moment at rest is a moment wasted. It probably didn't help that I was reading this book while on vacation at my mother's, where I visited the beach almost daily and was so work-averse that we didn't even bother going grocery shopping because I didn't want to cook. and yet, despite getting dummy chill in some aspects of my life, I am still constantly possessed by a malevolent ghost insisting that I'm wasting my time and have never actually done Enough. maybe Price's next book, Unlearning Shame, will finally fix me; it's out in four days and god knows I'll be getting my hands on it as soon as humanly possible.

Patternmaster (Octavia E. Butler, 1976) - y'all know I love a messy political fantasy, and this is just... god, the absolute messiest. I thought Mind of My Mind was bad, but it turns out Mary's descendants are going to full-on reinvent feudalism with psychic powers, treating non-psychics as chattel and causing technological advancement to regress since they refuse to handle their problems with anything but psychic powers. and it's even got two brothers duking it out for the throne that will give them power over every bitchy psychic on earth! you love to see it. if I can be 100% honest I do think it's straight up bananagrams that this was the first book released in the series even though it's chronologically last; I genuinely cannot imagine caring enough to figure out what the fuck these people were talking about if I didn't have the previous four books for context. and even "context" may be generous; Octavia still has absolutely 0 interest in explaining what's up with the fucking outer space werewolves who are the psychics' #1 enemy. if I could have brunch with any person living or dead I would summon Butler up in a heartbeat to explain what the fuck her thought process was in plotting out this series over some mimosas, and I would take extensive notes on every word she said. an absolute genius and the uncontested queen of freak shit forever.

Thirsty Mermaids (Kat Leyh, 2021) - I purchased this graphic novel in November 2023 at a conference where I bumped into Queer Comics Peddler, my very favorite queer midwestern pop-up. running into them is always a delight, and this time I came with a question: could they give me a recommendation? the very nice people working offered up Thirsty Mermaids, which was the PERFECT companion for a long airplane ride. it's cute without being overly sappy, and avoids the trap of sacrificing a plot for the sake of checking off as many representation boxes as possible. the story is simple: three mermaids use a spell to turn into humans and go ashore in search of booze, only to realize in the morning that they don't know how to turn back. taken in by a generous bartender, they're faced with the reality of having to make money for the first time in their lives. hijinks ensue, but also a very sweet and warmhearted story about the friends looking out for one another as they try to figure out exactly where they belong and what home even means. also the artwork is GORGEOUS, with the mermaids' extremely memorable character designs being a real standout. if you're a graphic novel enthusiast, definitely check this out 🧜‍♀️

Sugar, Baby (Celine Saintclare, 2023) - Sugar, Baby came to me in a very similar way as Thirsty Mermaids: while visiting a witchy little bookstore that I was immediately charmed by, I asked the cashier what they would recommend. they offered up Maeve Fly (fab) and this novel, a stack of which was on the counter advertising an upcoming event with the author. neither have disappointed, so shout out to that one employee with the great taste! Sugar, Baby sees a young cleaner named Agnes, one of the only biracial women in her unnamed English town, befriending the daughter of a wealthy client and getting whisked away to her new friend's London lifestyle: crashing in an apartment with fellow models, staying out all night to party, and making money by going on dates with extravagantly wealthy older men. Agnes starts out having a swell time, but the cracks pretty swiftly start to form as she realizes how much more dependent she is on these men than her wealthy new friends and she begins to wonder exactly how much she's willing to diminish herself to get the bag. it's not a perfect first novel but it is a compelling one, a perfect airplane page-turner that crashes from glitzy to ghoulish and back with breakneck speed.

The Gargoyle's Captive (Katee Robert, 2023) - my full review is over on patreon for my darling supporters who want me dead (and picked this book in the first place, damn them to hell), but suffice to say this is a fun book to read if you like the sensation of your brain melting out of your nose, if you're really turned on by baby's first bdsm, you are not particularly concerned with trifling matters like "plot coherence" or "character motivation" or "writing that is complex and artful," and/or you've ever wanted to have sex with a dude whose penis is so big that you feel genuinely fear. also, hey, I forgot to include this in my patreon write-up so fuck it: Robert REFUSES to tell us what kind of food the protagonists are eating, ever. whenever they have a meal it's just "the food was placed on the table" "I took a bite" etc. drop me a HINT, man, come on! is it a protein? grain? starches? the only thing I know for sure that they're consuming is wine and a single marshmallow, and god does it show. it's just a very weird and distracting omission and it's absolutely not the worst thing about this book but it is a hill I'm willing to die complaining on.

[the-bjd-community-confess]

TW: Discussion of CSA

I'm Sick of This Shit

Sorry Mod, this is off-topic and heavy stuff, but I'm fucking sick of this cutesy little internet trend of insinuating the worst about people over fucking nothing. This is going to get heavy but I'm not sitting down and shutting the fuck up this time.

Please put a read more here? I don't want to trigger anyone, I just want to try and give a wake-up call to people who do this shit.

I cannot believe I just read a callout post for someone as a "dangerous individual" and it's about them drawing some fictional character. Or rather, I can, because it keeps happening, and it's the dumbest new trend I've ever seen. As a victim of that specific kind of abuse? As in, someone who's fucking tapes have a hash in the ICAC database? (Do you even know what that means? Do you even care to find out? Do you actually care about victims or do you just want some moral gotcha over the person you don't like? Because I have a feeling it's the second one!) Someone who's been really fucking impacted and harmed by this shit in my actual flesh-and-blood real life?

Shut the fuck up. No, actively, antagonistically fuck you. How fucking dare you equate the seriousness of my and others' real-life physical harm to someone finding some stupid WORTHLESS, UNIMPORTANT, NOT REAL ANIME CHARACTER HOT. Who in the absolute fuck actually sincerely CARES?? Do you think authors who write about murder want to secretly kill people?? Do you think people who make horror movies can contact the dead? You are so obsessed about thought crimes and unimportant bullshit to the degree that you are accusing people of being the absolute worst type of person over anime. OVER ANIME! Who the fuck cares if someone draws a fake person doing something sexual. I, as a victim, do not give a shit. I don't care if they draw a fake person getting dismembered. I don't care if they write about a fake person being subjected to death by 1000 paper-cuts! Do you know why?

They're not fucking real!

Somewhere along the way people seem to have forgotten that the reason abuse is bad isn't because it's "icky" and "gross" and makes you uncomfortable to think about.

It's bad because it's fucking hurtful to people who are actually really alive. It's bad because if you cut a real person we fucking bleed. It's bad because if you do things to our body, it leaves fucking SCARS. It's bad because WE LIVE WITH THE FUCKING TRAUMA AND CONSEQUENCES OF WHAT IS DONE TO US YOU STUPID EMOTIONALLY BEREFT ASSHOLE, YOU FUCKING MORALLY STUNTED BRAT. DO YOU FUCKING COMPREHEND THAT? DO YOU ACTUALLY HAVE THE CAPACITY TO UNDERSTAND THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN REAL LIFE AND FICTION? LIKE DO YOU? ARE YOU AN ACTUAL CHILD? BECAUSE IF SO, YOU SHOULD NOT BE ENGAGING IN THESE DISCUSSIONS IN THE FIRST PLACE! WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU??? AND IF YOU ARE AN ADULT, FUCKING ACT LIKE ONE. This isn't a slag against someone who does have empathy issues or anything like that- ironically they tend to have no problem differentiating real life from fiction crimes, at least in my experience. No no, this is against the specific type of person who willfully chooses to libel against someone because of what usually boils down to """fandom crimes."""

I am in a support group for people like me. Do you know what we bitch about lately? You motherfuckers. Clogging the actual fucking hotlines by reporting drawings of cartoon characters, do you even realize that there are real consequences to your moral crusade? The time these people are forced to spend deleting anime art from their email literally costs real-life children -- AGAIN, REAL PEOPLE BEING HURT, YOU FUCKS -- precious time from getting the help they so desperately fucking deserve. Do you even think before you act? Do you? Do you fucking consider for a moment the real-world consequences of your behavior, or do you just raise your head and preen over your moralistic victory against the nastybadwrong person that wrote a story you don't like? I hate you.

Sure. Maybe this person who was submitted about really is the scum of the earth, an absolutely toxic bastard of an individual who does deserve a callout post. Wouldn't surprise me, because lots of shitty people are out there. So then, if that's the case, how come you didn't present that proof? Because all I read (images didn't work) is that they drew some anime character horny. People have been doing that for decades. The fucking Disney animators have drawn Mickey Mouse and Minnie Mouse going at it. Who gives a shit. It's fiction. You are having a moral panic over nothing and blinding yourself to the real consequences of your actions and I am here on my hands and knees BEGGING you to have more concern for people who actually exist than you do for your stupid goddamn anime boy.

I actually HATE people like you, I actively fucking do not feel SAFE around people like you. People who create fictional works, even dark and fucked up ones? They generally know the differences you seem to miss: that thoughts and actions are different things. There was a post going around where some guy got thrashed on social media for getting a leg amputation for fetishistic reasons where he was called every name in the book and probably some new ones yet to be added to the Merriam-Webster's dictionary. Turns out he actually had cancer and the amputation was for medically necessary reasons, but one (1) minor looked at THE TYPE OF ART HE DREW and made assumptions about his whole entire character from that. And thus someone going through some incredibly emotionally challenging shit was forced to further stomach the trauma of an internet hate mob because of baseless accusations just like these. Don't fucking do that. That shouldn't even need to be said! And yet. So I'll say it again. Don't! Fucking! Do that! Fuck!

This is wildly out of the scope of this blog and I'm really sorry to Mod for having to see it, but I'm sick of seeing this everywhere online, I do not need it in my fucking safe space hobby. Actively go fuck yourself if you do this or participate in this. If you care about victims- if you have actual compassion for people who are real, and don't just want to control how others portray fictional characters for reasons of moral outrage, then don't do this. And if you've done this in the past, just... fucking try to do better from here on out, at least. The world is fucked up enough without needing to rip each other apart over, and I cannot stress this enough, goddamn cartoons.

And if I get sassed in the comments as "not a real victim" or some shit, go ahead. I've heard it before, I don't care. I've been told by people in my life that what happened to me was 1) a misunderstanding 2) deserved because I in some way asked for it 3) that I'm lying for attention, etc etc. Does not matter that mine was one of the cases that actually made it to court and resulted in a sentencing... victim-blaming is incredibly ingrained in my country's culture. I honestly don't care if I'm believed or not, I just... want to say my piece. I want to confess, to air my grievances, with a current trend everyone on the internet and this hell-site in specific. So, thank you for reading if you have, and fuck you if you dismissed it all because your precious fictional little meow meow matters more to you than the victims of the real-life atrocities you're so motivated baselessly to accuse people of perpetrating.

And mod, stay safe and practice self-care. To all the victims, I hope your abusers die horribly. You deserve the world.

~Anonymous

Mod: thank you so much anon for your response, nothing is out of scope here (kinda, I like tangents, just need to follow the rules too) so anons, don't be afraid of expressing yourself as you so rightly did here.

[hadeantaiga]

You're being incredibly rude to a fellow trans person, when all I've done is try to explain the way terms harm us, and as a trans woman who's dealt with misogyny, I very much do experience more misogyny than what a trans man experiences, because, duh, trans women are women. us trans women experience all sorts of bigotry, so to make a mocking post about me? with the recent pools of hate and genocides happening? Fuck you, you don't understand how it feels being looked at as a predator when I enter the women's bathroom, and changing rooms. They think my genitalia is gross, so I have to get changed in stalls.

You're being a bad fucking ally, I'm not throwing anyone under the bus, you're the one spouting terf talking points about sex oppression when thats a new coined term for facists.

I am being rude to an asshole who tried to claim trans men don't face as much misogyny as trans women. To be frank, the instant you tried to claim ALL trans women face more misogyny than ALL trans men, I knew there was no point saying anything more to you.

You're wrong. Your beliefs are wrong. You think trans men magically obtain cis men's privilege or something, which is an incredibly transphobic, sexist, misogynistic and harmful belief that directly damages trans men.

You do not experience more misogyny than me. You and I face the same fucking amount of misogyny, because I do not pass as a fucking man. We are both viewed as women. Therefore, we both experience the same amount of misogyny.

And guess what? We ALSO both face the same amount of transphobia! Because we are both trans! Trans women do not experience more transphobia than trans men.

You wanna make this the oppression Olympics? I'm not gonna do it. I'm not gonna stoop to your level. Trans women are not more oppressed than trans men. Period. We are not in competition against each other for "most oppressed".

There might be individual trans women who, when compared to individual trans men who happen to completely pass, MIGHT at that current moment experience more misogyny than the trans man. But that ignores all the years before he came out, and before he passed, when he WAS facing misogyny. It also ignores the misogyny he faces every time he's outed at trans, and when he goes to the doctor, etc etc etc.

But that's a comparison of two very specific people, and you CANNOT GENERALIZE THAT TO ALL TRANS MEN AND ALL TRANS WOMEN.

The fact is that trans men face misogyny CONSTANTLY, and we face just as much misogyny as trans women and cis women.

And that's not even getting into nonbinary, genderqueer, and agender people.

Your beliefs are absolutely fucking dangerous to ALL other trans people besides binary trans women. You're not just throwing us under the bus, you're telling the driver to speed up.

PS: you still haven't cited anything to back up your claims.