#personal writing stuff

[zenkindoflove]

So for the last two weeks I've been really contemplating my writing goals for the year. Reevaluating what makes me happy and what is intrinsically motivating. Gonna ramble a bit under the read more. But the jist is I'll be taking a fanfiction hiatus.

After I finished Let the Light Linger - I sort of had a bit of a crisis and needed to have a come to Jesus moment.

I started writing fanfiction again in October of 2023 because I was really pulled into Elucien and missed writing. Needless to say, the last year and a half I went hard. Harder than I ever have before. I wrote almost 500k words of fanfic and it was all really fun and exhilarating.

About 6 months ago though, I think a shift happened.

My desire to write canon compliant Elucien has been waning. I've done a lot of it, and told their story multiple times. And what I've realized is that ultimately I'm a lot more motivated to write Eris and Alexius or explore little weird AUs for Elucien instead like I did with Carrion Flowers.

And what that made me realize is that I'm not really interested so much in writing fanfic anymore. But rather - I'm more interested in writing original fiction (or Amanda universe fic lol). I think I keep setting up these new ideas and new WIPs distracting me because I've been nervous about going in that direction.

The fact that I want to live in my own world more - with my own OCs or my own heavily altered versions of minor characters like Eris - is really evidence that what I'm doing is not really writing fanfic anymore. But instead trying to fit my own original ideas into the fanfic medium because it's where I'm comfortable.

I think the biggest evidence was toggling between Let the Light Linger and Shackled. Shackled is doing really well in terms of popularity. Which I'm very grateful for. But I kept finding myself wanting to rush through writing chapters so I can write Let the Light Linger instead - which comparatively speaking is not popular at all. It's on par for how my Erixius fics tend to do but the audience for Eris x Male OC is small. And part of me was becoming a little resentful because I wanted my Eris x OC stuff to be as loved because I know it's excellent work.

And then I realized - you dummy. Of course people want to read your Elucien fic more. That is what an ACOTAR fanbase wants. It's what we are all here for. To explore the possibilities of the canon characters we already like. Which is something I had always known and rationalized and made peace with. But suddenly my emotions weren't fitting what I already knew. And I think that was the final push I needed to know that I am ready to write original work now.

It's time to follow what really is driving me instead of what I assume is expected of me. So, for now, my fanfic Shackled will be on hiatus. I might update it now and again if I'm feeling particularly motivated, but I really want to focus more of my time working on an original book. And probably what I'll do is take a lot of the hard work creating OCs that I've done in my Erixius fics and adapt them to this new world. Alexius especially deserves to live in his own space now. And my Eris is really an amalgamation of other characters that I've loved before that are like him. So needless to say, who I create for Alexius is going to be very similar 😂. Alexius needs a grumpy guy to his sunshine.

I certainly won't be leaving the fandom because I need this ding dong Elucien book. And I'll still be reading fanfic and replying to anyone who does go and read my works and leaves comments. And you might get surprise chapter updates or oneshots from me if I'm feeling any of that motivation. But regular updates won't be happening anymore.

[idontknowreallywhy]

Thanks to @ficwip for the questions. Thought I’d have a go to see where I’ve got up to / maybe motivate myself out of a writing slump.

Didn’t quite manage to get it done by end of year but I never do finish anything by NYE and consequently as a mid-January birthday girl I often decide to have my new year start a little later in the month anyway so…

Herewith waffle mostly written while trying not to nod off on a plane…

1. How many fics have you worked on since January?

Complicated question… I THINK - 29 in total?

In terms of what I’ve actually POSTED here…

11 one-shots [ How to Infuriate Your Engineer , The Last of Them , Comb , Pressure , Push , Shine , Expert , Thread , Scott is Not Fine Catharsis , A Refrigeration Situation ] - 11,502 words total.

65 Chapters covering 10 fics [ Estera (3) ; Bearded (3) ; Presence (5) ; Composition (4) ; Resurface (36) ; Father’s Day (4) ; Teeth (2) ; 75 (3) ; Fishtank-ed Up (2) ; An Eyebrow-Razing Incident (3) ] - 72,263 words total.

54 WIP Snippets which haven’t become finished chapters or one-shots yet covering 3 of the above and 8 other fics [ Blue (15) ; Estera (12) ; Burn it All (8) ; Snapshots (2) , Octopus House (4) ; Red (3) ; Fishtank-ed Up (3) ; In a Glass Darkly (1) ; Oort Cloud (3) ; Resurface (1) ; ?? (2) ] - 17,703 words total.

All that totals 101,468 tumblr-posted fic-words so I did hit my target of 100k although I didn’t actually FINISH as many stories as I intended to!

Then there is an additional 46,000 I have in draft for the Estera universe… some of which might make in into publishable form at some stage, some just for my own amusement 🤣 plus another 4,000 or so for other fics including the end of Resurface… and a couple of brand new ones which may or may not see the light of day…

So objectively I really did do a fair bit of writing this year and shall endeavour to allow myself to be proud of this!

2. What’s something new that you tried in a fic this year?

Err… Finishing one? 🤣

Did I though… um…

Ok scratch that.

I wrote a cheesy little song for one of them then threaded references to it through some chapters in a couple of fics. That was new. Whether successful? Well I like it but I can hear it in my head which probably makes it work better for me than anyone else. However I enjoyed myself so…

3. What piece of media inspired you the most? (This can be the fandom you wrote the most for, the one that spawned the most ideas, the one you thought about the most, etc.).

Well, my beloved Thunderbirds are Go, obviously! Hyperfixation much?

4. How many fandoms did you write for this year?

Just the one :)

5. What ships captured your heart?

Newly this year? I guess to interpret the word ‘captured’ literally to mean ‘possessed entirely against my will’ then I guess… Scott/Havoc (even though I still scream NOOOoOoOOoOOOOOO internally when I type that!). It’s not a natural fit for me as I do tend to favour some potential for a happy ending and it’s harder to see how it is possible with this ship but some fabulous fics have emerged on it. I do love a redemption arc though and I like how various people have developed Havoc’s character in their stories. But also still noooooooo my little guy deserves better-happier-uncomplicated. But also also yeeeeeesssssssss.

6. What characters captured your heart?

Weirdly, because I did not intend this at all and most of the time I want to slap him with a really large fish… I’ve written a fair bit of Jeff POV in the latter part of the year! Both pre-Lucy death and post-ZeroX. In between those times I still want to slap him with that fish.

7. Did you write for any new fandoms or ships this year?

A new ship, yes. And one that was completely unexpected and I don’t think anyone else has tried yet but I’m enjoying it. Not made a lot of progress yet so won’t say any more than that!

8. What fic meant the most to you to write?

Resurface I think. It covers a heck of a lot of headcanons and yeah… it turns out walloping Virgil is a fun way to prod at all of the bro relationships. And I have enjoyed the process of iteratively fixing Earth&Sky because (as I seem to have written it at least) their partnership is beautiful but kind of messed up and I have to believe they can get a better balance back. I hope the way I’ve done it works for people.

9. What fic made you feel the happiest to work on?

I think 75. It was really fun to look forward and imagine a good love-and-family-filled future for them all, especially my boy who didn’t think he’d get one.

10. What fic was the most satisfying to finish writing?

Well I was hoping to say Resurface but given I haven’t yet… hmmm. I might also have said Father’s Day until I randomly started to write more of it 😅 err… what have I actually finished? Let’s say 75 cos I actually finished that! (and pretend I don’t have an idea for a follow on)

11. What fic was the most difficult to write?

Estera. Which is a strange answer in some respects as I’ve compulsively written loads of it (as above!) but well… I’ve had a bit of a crisis of confidence and hit a silly, anxious wall about writing the actual chapter that comes next in the story and thus it has hung in limbo for months. My dearest co-writer is despairing of me perhaps only marginally less than I am despairing of myself!

12. What fic was the easiest to write?

The early parts of Resurface just rushed out as fast as I could type them… it got harder as I tried to heal them from the mess I made though 🙃 More recently the Oort Jeff stuff has been the topic for the most readily flowing words.

13. What were your shortest and longest fics posted this year?

Ignoring WIP posts, shortest would be “Scott is Not Fine” which is barely more than a Drabble at 202 words.

Longest? If it needs to be entirely within the year - Resurface (49,720 & counting) but I added a little to Estera which is longest overall (72,319 posted) but that word count is shared with some other wonderful writers and is mostly 2023.

14. What were your go-to writing songs

I have a few playlists for depending on what I’m writing :)

I do listen to the OST a lot when out and about but often not when actually writing as I guess each part of it is so strongly linked to what is happening in the episodes that it is distracting if I’m writing something different. Often I get ideas by listening to something totally random. I listen to a lot of classical and it may only be a few phrases that nudge something -any kind of soprano/tenor instructment interaction (e.g. cello/violin, trumpet/french horn, flute/bassoon) immediately conjures Earth&Sky for me. 99% of my writing is with music of some kind in the background (because I usually have an earbud in) although in retrospect I might not be able to tell what it was.

15. What was the hardest fic to title?

Resurface. Because I had another title in mind but it was already the title of one of my all-time favourite fics. But then this one came to mind and fitted perfectly!

16. What's your favorite title of the year

Haha, well I like what I’ve been doing with the chapter titles of Resurface. But “An Eyebrow-Razing Incident” is probably my favourite for the pun / spoiler combo.

17. Share your favorite opening line

Virgil’s forehead sank onto the bar and squelched slightly.

18. Share your favorite ending line

A brand new score had been opened. But Virgil knew the notes now. They’d compose this next version together.

19. Share your favorite piece of dialogue

This one because I worked on it for so long to get it right. It’s by no means the only important moment between Scott and Virgil… but is the first of a few steps to sorting things out:

“And I’m… grey, then?”

“No! Not usually! You’ve always been blue, like the sky… there are so many shades of it, with hints of yellow or gold…”

“There’s a but coming, I can feel it.”

Virgil grabbed Scott’s hand again as if to reassure himself his brother wouldn’t float away before he managed to express this.

“Sometimes it’s like you fade a little.”

“I fade?”

“You try to be a lot of things, Scotty and it’s admirable, it really is, and you do it so well but sometimes I worry there isn’t enough of you left to be you.”

“Me?”

“Yes, you. You’re blue when you laugh at your own jokes, or smotherhen us and make a leaning tower of pancake… when you beat Gordy at his own prank game or act all melodramatic when you’re smuggling in the sweets Grandma doesn’t approve of. When someone says pie and your eyes gleam and when you randomly recite Shakespeare inaccurately and out of context or run up the stairs for no reason and surprise hug Allie… those times you’re a rainbow of blues. In the field when you’re problem solving at the speed of light and oh! That time you flew Shadow just for fun you came back shining so brightly…”

Yet again at the mention of Shadow, Scott had startled but recovered quickly and deflected:

“My Shakespeare is always in context.”

“Sure it is, Scott. And it’s very YOU.”

A flicker of resolve hardened his brother’s expression and Virgil was suddenly terrified as to how his clumsy explanation could have been interpreted by someone who was already chronically shackled to the ‘brave face’ impulse…

“But Scott, listen to me, this is important.”

He waited until his brother dropped his eyes from the horizon and met his own.

“I’m not saying it’s just when you are happy, you know? When you’re worried or angry or even sick or even… no, especially when you let yourself be vulnerable for one damn second, you’re you then too.”

“Then…” Scott sagged a little and an edge of indigo desperation coloured his voice “I don’t understand what the grey thing is meant to mean!”

“The grey thing… I guess it’s how my brain interprets the way I sometimes miss you when you are right in front of me. When you get hidden by everything else you think you are supposed to be. You lead so naturally, you do it without even trying but sometimes… sometimes you put on that damn grey baldric and it smothers you.”

“But the baldric is silver. My baldric is silver to match One!”

“It used to be blue though. Blue to match you.”

20. Share your funniest line

Ooh. I don’t know if I do “lines” - most of my attempts at humour are situation or context-specific…

But I’ll go with this little section from toddler-Scotty because it still makes me chuckle:

“Dada! ‘Cotty duck in fidge. Oh no!”

The tiny child lifted his apple sauce covered hands and looked at them as if suddenly realising they were attached to his arms. Bright blue eyes gazed down at him with an expression of extreme innocence:

“Oh no! ‘Cotty all messy! Ooopsiiiieee!”

Clearly realising his father had no follow-up questions to his comprehensive situational update, Scott plunged his hand back into the dish and shoved a fistful of pie crust into his mouth.

21. What's something that surprised you while you were working on a fic? Did it change the story?

This is a tricky one because frankly everything I manage to create surprises me.

Resurface surprised me with its length. I am a sucker for detail and dialogue and combining that with the fact I had a lot to get the boys to work through… it shouldn’t have surprised me really. But it did.

22. What writing programs did you use? Did you write by hand?

By hand? Hahaha, I’d never know what I’d written!

I’m still playing the risky game and throwing things down in apple notes on iphone, although have been trying to tag them a bit now so I can actually find things. I tried google docs - it drove me crackers by messing with my punctuation although I tend to copy paste into that when I’m finished to get a word count. Tried a couple of online drafting tools but they felt over-complicated. So am still in market for a good app I guess.

23. If you had to choose one, what was THE most satisfying writing moment of your year?

In retrospect I think maybe the end of Composition. Which is funny because despite having planned it for AGES as a kind of bridge between Presence and Resurface, I rushed the last chapter out in a hurry as I’d hit the point in Resurface that refers back to it and needed to ensure all the parts of the circle were in place. But exploring how Virgil sees the world is one of my favourite things and setting that short fic in a musical context was very satisfying. And it may be cheesy but this line still makes me smile:

With a satisfied hum, Scott pressed his cheek into his head and the timid, hopeful note in Virgil’s heart swelled into a triumphant chord of determination.

24. Did you do anything special to celebrate finishing a fic?

Yes. I commissioned a piece of fanart and it is beautiful and perfect and I desperately want to share it but I must not until I finish the darn story because the whole point was it was a reward for finishing (I just got it a touch early…)

SOOON THOUGH.

25. How did you recharge between fics?

What is this ‘between’ you speak of? 🧐

26. Did you create fanworks other than fic?

No, unless Tiny Tracys count 🤣

27. How many events did you take part in? (bangs, exchanges, ship weeks, zines, prompt memes, they all count!)

I’m not good at prompts with time limits, it seems. I did write a little for Fishtank Week and there was the Secret Santa of course.

28. If this were an awards show, who would you thank?

So many people, basically all of Thunderfam who have encouraged me to try something I never thought I could do. But if I start a list I know I’ll miss someone then feel bad so I’ll stick to just one shoutout to @sofasurf for constantly encouraging me in both writing and life in general and who is a most excellent co-conspirator.

29. What's left on your to-do list for 2024?

Well I WAS going to say “finish Resurface” but… *eyes calendar and sighs*

30. What would you like to write next year?

Obv finish Resurface, and then I want to find my confidence with Estera again. So many ideas for Scott & Jeff and Allie & Scott and some fish tank too… and I’d like to write more John and more Kayo… not to mention the big mad apocalyptic fic which I really need to plot out properly before doing any more with…

But probably I’ll just end up writing about the boys playing on an airport travelator or stuck at the bottom of a hole or something because sometimes the pieces I’m most proud of are the ones that come out of nowhere 🙄😅🤪

[inkskinned]

i hate to say it because i'm neurodivergent and a chronic-pain-haver but like... sometimes stuff is going to be hard and that's okay.

it's okay if you don't understand something the first few times it's explained to you. it's okay if you have to google every word in a sentence. it's okay if you need to spend a few hours learning the context behind a complicated situation. it's okay if you need to read something, think about it, and then come back to re-read it.

i get it. giving up is easier, and we are all broken down and also broke as hell. nobody has the time, nobody has the fucking energy. that is how they win, though. that is why you feel this way. it is so much easier, and that is why you must resist the impetus to shut down. fight through the desire you've been taught to "tl;dr".

embrace when a book is confusing for you. accept not all media will be transparent and glittery and in the genre you love. question why you need everything to be lily-white and soft. i get it. i also sometimes choose the escapism, the fantasy-romance. there's no shame in that. but every day i still try to make myself think about something, to actually process and challenge myself. it is hard, often, because of my neurodivergence. but i fight that urge, because i think it's fucking important.

especially right now. the more they convince you not to think, the easier it will be to feed you misinformation. the more we accept a message without criticism, the more power they will have over that message. the more you choose convenience, the more they will make propaganda convenient to you.

[egophiliac]

Final manifestations for Book 7?

I'm trying REALLY hard not to build up any solid expectations, because I wanna go in ~fresh~! they're already so far away from anything I thought would happen (not in a bad way, I'm just accepting that I'm on Miss Yana's Wild Ride at this point and we're seeing this thing through 'til the end, by gum). so it's nothing too major, but:

they've been handing new crying expressions out like candy lately, I want to see some delicious Malleus tears.

honestly I want everyone to cry buckets. their tears sustain me. the more Silver angst specifically I get the happier I am.

SILVER!!!! 👏 VANROUGE!!!! 👏

just let him have this. the poor boy's been through so much. let him have his big "I'm proud of you, son" moment with Lilia.

I'm 100% expecting Grim's arc (and probably whatever's going on with Crowley) to be its own episode, but a nice hook to leave us hanging on would be good!

a nice hook though, please, I don't think I can take another "Grim is attacking us! now wait eight months to find out what happens :)" cliffhanger...

some Meleanor? as a treat? just a little bit, a tiny quick flashback or something, please Twst I just, I just want to see her again. let her have a little ghost cameo like Dawnathan Knight got. Lilia and his kids are all having their big group hug or whatever and she can gently fade in to be all like

(turning asks off until I'm done playing, SEE YOU ON THE OTHER SIDE Y'ALL)

[thegeminisage]

i'm just going to go ahead and make this its own post. when kirk teases spock he is SO GENTLE. "why mister spock are you feeling emotion?" and he lets spock do the vulcan equivalent of giggling and kicking his feet and going "haha nooo silly i'm a VULCAN i don't do that!!" and kirk's like "oh my apologies mister spock of COURSE not" and then they make consensual loving eyecontact with one another while smiling. when BONES senses blood in the water (spock having an emotion) he will grab spock by the scruff of his fucking neck and shake until dead. like a dog with a squirrel.

[zuzu-draws]

Just a pair of friendly sorcerers out on a stroll~

[milktrician]

(what the. who threw a wife plot device in the middle of a peak lord meeting)

i thought about this bit at the end of the airplane extras the other day. bro why are you looking at your coworkers like that rn

[lazylittledragon]

nomad boyfriend comes back for a visit

obviously there are some extras for the patr0ns <3

[you-were-meteowrong]

reblog for bigger sample size

[turtledotjpeg]

[malusokay]

Stop Flirting With Me Just Because I’m Breathing

On how everything a pretty girl does is seen as flirtation. (from my substack <3)

I look up and blink too slowly, and they think I’m in love. I say “interesting” in a flat voice, and it becomes a riddle to be solved, a clue in some invented puzzle about my affection. I once said “oh?” and was asked if I meant it flirtatiously. I leave a message on read for three days, and suddenly I’m orchestrating a psychological thriller. I wear a black chunky knit because it’s cold and I don’t want to be perceived, so they decide I must be hiding poetry in my bra, and unspoken devotion in the sleeves.

I’m told I look like I’d ruin someone’s life, which is meant as a compliment when all I’ve done is exist politely in a public space. I nod in a lecture, and it becomes longing. I cross my legs, and it becomes a metaphor. Everything becomes a metaphor.

There is no such thing as neutrality when you’re a pretty girl. You become a canvas for other people’s projections, their longing, their delusions, and their need to be chosen. 

Every silence is suggestive. Every quiet moment is a seduction scene they’ve rewritten in their heads by the time you’ve finished your tea. Every disinterest is taken as a puzzle to solve, a performance of restraint. They don’t believe you when you’re bored. They think you’re playing bored. Every boundary is a dare.

I say “I don’t date,” and he hears “try harder.” 

I say “I’m not looking for anything,” and he hears “ but I might be with you.” 

I say “I have to go,” and he hears “ convince me to stay.” 

I say nothing, and he hears everything. 

I leave the room, and it becomes a narrative arc. 

I stay silent, and it becomes flirtation. 

I look at a painting, and it becomes a metaphor for his feelings.

A man at a gallery once told me I had “mysterious energy.” I was just tired. I was just hungry. I was just not looking at him.

But they fall in love with the refusal. The lack. The half-second glance that wasn’t meant for them. They romanticise the unreturned gaze, the closed door, the girl who leaves early. They write poems about women who never replied. They crave the untouched part of you that has nothing to do with them, especially that. That’s the part they try to claim. That’s the part they call fate.

I once sent a man a list of corrections to his love letter. Marked it up in red like a school essay. Split infinitives, misused semicolons, a dangling modifier in the third paragraph. He called it “enigmatic.” Said I was “hard to read.” Said he’d “never met a girl like me.” You mistake disinterest for depth and correction for flirtation. You think anything that doesn’t kneel is mysterious. You call it high standards. You call it a challenge. You call it feminine mystique. I call it punctuation.

The problem with being charming is that people forget it’s often done out of boredom. It’s a reflex, not a promise. A trick you learned at dinner tables, in waiting rooms, on the phone with men twice your age who couldn’t take silence. It doesn’t mean you like them. It means you like control. Or maybe you just didn’t want to be rude.

The problem with being beautiful is that people think it means you owe them something warm. That you’re a hostess of some private emotion, and every glance should be dipped in honey. You smile once, and they remember it forever. You don’t smile, and they call you cold. You hold the door, and it’s taken as encouragement. You cross your legs, and it’s an invitation. You speak plainly, and it’s condescension. You retreat, and it’s foreplay. They want you glowing and grateful. Soft, but not cold. Sexy, but not complicated. They want the kind of beauty that never asks to be left alone.

And when I say no, they always think I’m flirting. As if I’m playing coy. As if “no” is the beginning of a story, not the end of one. I say it flatly, with the softness stripped out, and they still tilt their heads and grin like they’ve uncovered a secret. Like I’m hiding a yes somewhere in my tone, waiting to be coaxed out.

A few days ago, I rejected someone I had known for a while. Kindly, clearly. Two days later, he came back asking if I wanted to hook up. He only left me alone (for now) after I told him I had a boyfriend. I don’t. But apparently, a man’s existence is the only boundary they respect.

Sometimes, I just smile because why wouldn’t I? Because it’s polite. Because I was raised to be gentle in rooms full of noise. Because I don’t see the harm in kindness. But they always think it means something. They take good manners for invitation. A thank you becomes a breadcrumb. A glance becomes bait. Politeness, in their minds, is the opening act of seduction, never just softness for its own sake.

You learn quickly that innocence gets devoured just as fast as intention. That even your unthinking gestures get rewritten in someone else’s script. And then they call you manipulative. Say you “led them on.” As if their inability to read the room is your strategy. As if their projections are your responsibility. You smiled. You were nice. You said, “thank you.” And now you’re the villain in their heartbreak story. 

They fall in love with an idea, and when you don’t return it, they act like you stole something. Like affection was a contract you broke by breathing near them. Like your politeness was a promise you forgot to keep.

my insta: malusokay

[inkskinned]

we were sitting on the floor and i was cutting out tiny pictures to make a collage for a friend's birthday. you were on your phone and you laughed about something, and i was still in love with you then, so i asked what had you giggling.

"sorry. i was just..." you took a moment and went back to texting. "i was telling someone about how you're afraid of the dark."

i'm afraid of the dark because something bad happened. "oh." i felt a little slinky of shame crawl down my throat.

you glanced up, and maybe it showed on my face, because you rolled your eyes and held the phone to the side casually so i could see the group chat. "what? was it a secret?"

i looked down to the scissors in my hand. "i just..." no, it's not a secret. it just felt like something private, something serious. saying why would you tell someone that just feels like an accusation. it's unfair. i honestly am not even ashamed of it, it's just a fact about my person that i don't usually share.

what a strange experience. is this a human thing or a generational thing? for our grandparents: did they need to worry about how quickly someone can just... share your personal information? again, i didn't even really have a true objection. what could i say? i want any person in my life to feel they can be honest with their friends. it's not like i said don't tell anyone this.

i cut out another letter to complete the rainbow happy birthday, started hunting for the exclamation mark. i heard you sigh dramatically.

"don't make a big deal about this," you said.

this entire conversation was a pattern for us, and this was when we got to my least favorite part of the pattern. i would get my feelings hurt in some oblique not-technically-terrible way, and then it would be making a big deal about something. you'd get frustrated for me for being soft, but i was born soft. you knew i was soft when you pierced me. it's one of the things that made controlling me so easy.

"i'm not," i felt my voice crack. the question came without my wanting. "why are you guys talking about me?" and why are you saying that thing? why not like - i'm telling them how you're generous and kind and pretty.

you let out this low, tragic groan. "oh my god." you tossed the phone away from your body. "there, see? i just won't talk to them if you don't like it."

the rest of the hour went the way it always went, between us: i said i don't actually mind if you talk to your friends but -, you found a way to call my minor expression of discomfort "being dramatic." you got upset that i had been offended. i ended up apologizing, even though i hadn't actually done anything.

afterwards, you picked up the phone again. after texting for a little bit, you snorted. "okay," you said, "but it is kind of funny you're afraid of the dark. i mean, when you think about it."

[egophiliac]

I loved your drawing(and I love your style in general) with Leia in your recent post! If/when you have time can we see more of her in your style? I get so happy whenever I actually see people mention/talk about her and she’s not just forgotten because we didn’t get to see much of her. 😭

thank you! 💙💙💙 Leia/Leah/Lea/whatever is fascinating to me. she is the ultimate unknown. what was she like? how involved (or even aware of any details of the invasion) was she? Silver's basically a physical carbon copy of his biodad, so what did he get from her? like, I understand why the two of them kind of have to stay as these super vague and mysterious figures -- the whole point of them is that their story ended 400+ years ago and they're not really relevant anymore (and. well. the more that gets explained about them, the less that can just kinda be handwaved as "oh the politics were Very Messy") (we can sit here and theorize all day but let us acknowledge that, ultimately, canon gave us almost nothing about them post-Meleanor and we'd just be making things up). I do still wonder about her though! RIP Lea, we never knew you and we probably never will.

actually you know what, as long as we're here, I think I WILL go ahead and just make some stuff up about what Silver might've inherited from her instead.

[caspercryptid]

Hello everyone I am so unbelievably pissed about the NaNoWriMo situation that i'm going to take my massive stack of writing and craft books and my English degree and channel all my rage into making an email newsletter to send craft-oriented writing prompts and tips during the month of November. Say No to NaNoWriMo, but yes to WriMo. You get it.

I'm not going to make this have the same goals as Nanowrimo-- I'm not reskinning it but less ableist, I just really think having a whole month where people focused on their work is pretty cool and I want to keep up that spirit. This is going to be informal and run by Just Me, though I'll make a discord server if it's clear there's interest. Direct questions to @nowrimomo , which I literally just made and so will look like a skeleton currently.

I'm going to include prompts from various professional sources with options for Fiction, Nonfiction, Poetry, and Fanfic, so everybody can get in on this. It doesn't matter what you write, but we should all Write More.

[ghostlysoaps]

John MacTavish used to spend parts of his summers in England visiting extended family and this is where he ends up meeting a boy a couple years older than him named Simon. Surprisingly enough, they hit it off. His bombastic, extroverted personality somehow manages to compliment Simon’s rather timid, introverted one. Joined at the hip, the two of them quickly call themselves best friends, and, as children tend to do, develop a bit of an innocent crush on each other – going so far as to promise to marry one another if they haven’t found anyone else by the time they’re both twenty-five.

But then autumn arrives and goodbyes are made and their promises to meet up again never come to fruition.

He doesn’t forget him though. Their friendship remains a fond memory, even a decade later, though much of the details are blurred with time. Perhaps it’s because they’d been each other’s first kiss – if the chaste peck of lips-on-lips can be called as such – or it’s the ring of twined straw, brittle as tinder, he has tucked away in his box of mementos that make that particular summer an unforgettable thing.

That and his steadfast insistence no one else is allowed to use a certain nickname for him.

In any case… those faded months are far from his mind when John Price is showing him around their base of operations, introducing him to people as they go along. The one-four-one consists of near enough two dozen operatives though he’s told it’s not uncommon to be mostly paired off with a select few of his fellow soldiers if they play to each other’s strengths. He nods along and pushes for the use of his callsign when folks wish to be friendly. Until, eventually, he finds himself face-to-face with a man who needs no introduction. A living legend as it were; who’s records Soap had worked hard to beat.

“Well then, last but not least. MacTavish, this is Lieutenant Simon Riley. Also known as–”

“–my future husband,” John finishes for him, based on a name, twelve percent of a full thought and the manc accent he’d spied when hearing him dismiss a batch of recruits.

Youngest to ever make the SAS and about to be the quickest one ousted, he thinks miserably when the eyes assessing him narrow at his declaration.

“Johnny?”

Oh.

“So ye do remember me!” Pivoting from mortification to delight, and heedless to any gawking voyeurs, John slings an arm around Simon’s shoulders to draw him into a loose side-hug. “No’ long now ‘fore we need t’ get hitched, aye?”

“Courthouse is a twenty minute ride,” Simon says drily.

Soap laughs, brighter than he can remember doing for a long time, before he immediately starts teasing Ghost about not proposing properly.

(He does, of course, do so years down the line.)

[katabay]

fifteen men on a dead man's chest, it's time for: pirates!

there's an idea here, and the idea is slowly turning into a story, and in march I've got some one shot comics about pirates I want to post! ideally, in march. hopefully in march. there's a lot of stuff to figure out, drawing wise. I spent an amount of time I won't mention researching the history of leg prosthetics & vintage leg prosthetic designs for basilica, and I haven't even figured out tall ships. which is. well. it's pirates, what are pirates without tall ships