#physically turned away and almost fell to the ground i could not handle it. i felt like 5 seconds from going orz on the floor.

[marklikely]

harrowing experience yesterday where my friend and i debated whether or not "Closer" was a good song and it went on for like. way too long before we realized that i was talking about the nine inch nails song and they were talking about the god awful chainsmokers song.

[yandere-romanticaa]

・❥・𝐰𝐚𝐧𝐧𝐚 𝐛𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐬.

what happens when lyney's feelings become too strong to handle? however is he going to deal with his crippling heartache and desire?

yandere! lyney x gn! reader.

This fic was partially inspired by the song "Wanna be Yours" by Arctic Monkeys. Admittedly, he's not the first character I'd associate with this band but I really wanted a snazzy sounding title. I also personally characterize this boy as a lovesick little fool so the song can stay.

If given a better option, most people will naturally chase after that which is more beneficial for them. Be it studies, entertainment or social circles, almost anything in someone's life could easily be replaced in a heartbeat.

That same sentiment could be applied to lovers as well.

What's to say that you won't wake up to your senses one day and leave Lyney for good? He tries to give you everything a person could ever hope for - he spoils you with gifts and his most undivided attention, his words are so sweet that they could rival the sweetest of candies. Unlike the empty candy though, Lyney's words are all true, he means absolutely everything he ever says to you. He can't exactly pinpoint the time when he fell head over heels but that didn't matter. Every time he looked at you it felt as though someone lit fireworks in his stomach, his smooth facade would melt away like ice and he was left completely defenseless. He was weak and at your mercy, he was yours to take and yours to love. Every single piece of Lyney belonged to you, his body, mind and soul, you owned all of him and didn't even know it.

How many nights did the two of you spend under the stars with Lyney by your side, his hot breath fanning your ear as he proclaimed his undying love to you, gloved hands twitching in anticipation to hold and caress your body. He loved to touch you in any way he could, physical affection was something the magician simply needed. If you didn't give him at least his good morning and good afternoon kiss, Lyney would always be in a sour mood, which would force his crew to send someone to fetch you in order to remedy this problem. Yes, Lyney loved you very much, the sweet red apple of his eye.

He just wished you loved him as much as he loved you.

Worry would often plague his heart whenever he'd catch you conversing with anyone that was not him or his siblings. Despite his solid reputation he was still but a humble magician at the end of the day.

Did you wish for something more? Were you not satisfied with him?

There were so many people out there who could give you everything Lyney could not. His ties with the Fatui also do not help his case, even if his motives remained pure. Naturally, he never had the heart to tell you that he belonged to that organization, for he feared that you would leave him right then and there. Lyney would often find himself waking at the dead of night, his mind and body restless due to the dreams he would have. Each and every one was always centered around you and it was almost always the same - he would come clean about everything, his past, his work, ties to the Fatui, everything. Tears would cake his face and he would lower his gaze towards the ground, shame pooling in his eyes. He would turn his back and say he doesn't expect any sort of sympathy from you. With a hunched posture he would take a few steps, the black boots on his feet feeling heavier than iron, the chains around his heart tightening further as the circumstances in his life would force him to leave everything he built with you. Just as the rain would hit the ground and Lyney would feel your arms around his waist, your soft lips pressed against the crook of his neck. You would hold him like that for who knows how long, promising that you would never, ever leave. You loved him, there was nothing that would change that.

Those dreams left him longing for more, his paranoia skyrocketing through the roof and deep into the night. He can't lose you, if Lyney lost you, he...

It doesn't bare thinking about.

As shaky as things were now, they were alright. He was going to make them better, stronger. He was a magician, making impossible things possible were literally in his job description. He would make sure that your love was reserved for him and no one else in this world.

🕊️ TAGS: @genshinarchives, @mod-kisa-blog, @juuuuuj101010, @kalopses-sonderes, @b10h4z4rd, @xiaopleasecomehome, @mayulli, @saturnalya, @alatusprinz, @lakxcpsta, @mewmeowmika, @ranposgirlboss

[cricket-reader]

Mutual Agreement

Masterlist | A03 | Wattpad | Recommendations | Inbox

Summary: whilst on a mission, you and Bucky get caught in the cold. Your body doesn’t handle the temperature well, being you’re not a supersoldier. Your state brings back memories of Bucky’s life before Hydra, making him fear for your health.

Warnings: language, hypothermia, crying, mentions of death, fluff

Word Count: 1,551

Prompt: Delirium | Hypothermia | Stabilisation

A/N: Day 4 of June of Doom by @juneofdoom

Bucky never showed his emotions. He was a closed book, and he intended to keep it that way. But that all shattered to pieces one fateful mission.

You and Bucky had been assigned to take down an abandoned Hydra base in Russia. Bucky had wanted to go alone, but Steve insisted that he went with a partner. That partner just so happened to be you, the girl that Bucky admired from afar.

You were strong, intelligent, and beautiful. He admired you for that and all the good you had done. You were better than him in every single way.

Finding and destroying the base was an easy matter. It was abandoned, therefore, there were no surprise attacks. It was the perfect mission. No injuries, no deaths, and most importantly to Bucky, not even a hair on your head was harmed.

Things only went downhill from there.

The getaway vehicle you had parked in the forest refused to start again. It didn’t matter what Bucky did, the vehicle refused to start up. On top of that, it was freezing in the vehicle. Almost as cold as it was outside, without the wind, of course.

If your shivering was anything to go by, Bucky knew you both couldn’t stay there. On his GPS, the safe house wasn’t far away. The supersoldier could make it on foot no problem. He just wasn’t so sure about you.

Internally, his thoughts were running rampant. On the outside, he looked as calm and collected as usual.

“We shouldn’t stay here. Do you think you can walk to the safe house?”

You bit your lip. “Sure.”

Bucky didn’t trust the tone of your voice whatsoever, but he didn’t let it show. He had to get you to warmth before he lost you.

You both exited the useless vehicle, and trudged your way towards the cabin.

It didn’t take long for your hands to start shaking, and your steps to begin faltering. You had to stay strong, though. You couldn’t face the embarrassment of failure in front of a teammate that you swore hated your guts.

The feeling in your face as well as your feet had long since vanished. Your fingers hadn’t had feeling since you reached the vehicle. These were not good signs, but you resigned to deal with it since the cabin was coming into your view.

Bucky noticed you lagging behind before you did. His heart raced, wanting to pick you up and bolt to the cabin where he could get you warm. He knew, however, that you would not like that notion. You’d probably smite him if he dared lay a finger on you. You liked your space, hating when people invaded it. Because although you were kind, you too had boundaries. Physical touch just happened to be yours.

It wasn’t until you tripped and fell into the snow that he decided, “screw that” and picked you up from the ground. You were trembling so hard, as cold as ice and it fucking scared him.

You let out a small noise of protest as he gathered you in his arms and began to run to the cabin. You could do it yourself. You just needed a little rest, that’s all.

Bucky slammed the door to the cabin open and slammed it shut before running to set you on the ground. He took off your soaked jacket and boots. You gently pushed him away, not really able to put any force behind it. “I can do it myself,” you muttered indignantly.

Whilst Bucky usually loved your sense of independence, it only served to frustrate him. He pouted with his signature grumpy face, arms crossed and all. He watched you peel off your drenched socks. Your fingers were still trembling.

He just wanted to help. You turned to go to one of the rooms, hoping to find a new pair of pants that weren’t wet.

You overestimated your ability to walk. Tripping over nothing probably had to be the most embarrassing thing you had ever done in front of Barnes. He didn’t hesitate to catch you. In Bucky’s arms you wanted nothing more than to melt into a puddle of shame.

Bucky muttered something to himself as he carried you to the nearest room. He set you on the ottoman in front of the bed before going to ruffle through the closet. He found some clothes for you to wear.

He turned around to give them to you, so you could change yourself. When he saw you falling asleep, he dashed to your side. You couldn’t fall asleep on him now. “C’mon, wake up,” he muttered, not a trace of worry evident in either his tone or on his face. He was determined to keep calm in front of you. Freaking out would do no good.

You blearily opened your eyes. It was so cold. Why were you so cold? You were in the warmth now. You should be fine.

“I’m gonna change your clothes now, okay? Is that alright?” Bucky asked. He didn’t want to do anything without your consent, but if worse came to worse, he would have to. He just needed to stabilise you before things got any worse. You just groaned in response. Cursing under his breath, Bucky dutifully peeled off your pants and dressed you in the sweats he had found. He left your shirt on, since it wasn’t affected by the snow. He didn’t want to do anything more. Not without your consent.

In your state of delirium, you barely noticed that he had picked you up and carried you to bed. You barely noticed the way he took care to wrap you in multiple blankets.

When you woke up, you were incredibly warm. You were also practically trapped in a cocoon of blankets. Groaning, you unwrapped yourself from the layers upon layers of blankets.

You tiptoed your way into the hallway. Looking around, you didn’t see Barnes anywhere.

You furrowed your brows when you heard a muffled sound coming from the bedroom down the hall.

You creeped to the door and pressed your ear against it. You could hear ragged breaths and choked sobs coming from behind the door. It had to be Bucky. No one else would be out here. However, you’d never seen him cry. He always was so strong given what he’d been through. He was resilient. So what could have prompted his tears? Did he have a nightmare? You knew from Steve that he was struggling with them. Your hand hesitated at the door handle. How you longed to go in there and comfort him, to wrap him in your arms and tell him he was safe now. But you knew he was a private person. He hated it when people saw him vulnerable, and you didn’t blame him.

All it took to break your hesitance was a sob.

Bucky had a hard time keeping everything in. He didn’t mean to let it out, but god he couldn’t help it. Seeing you look so pale and weak, your ice cold skin and shivering body… it reminded him of Steve. Little Steve back when they were kids. He thought Steve was going to die that cold January night. Bucky had stayed with him the whole night, praying to anyone that would listen to not take away his best friend.

It was like history was repeating itself and just the thought of you dying tore him to shreds. Now, Bucky didn’t believe in any god, not after all he went through with Hydra, but you bet your ass he had prayed. He didn’t get too far before his emotions caught up with him, hitting him head on like a bus.

That led him to the moment where you burst through the door. Your concerned features swept Bucky’s distraught figure. He was in the corner of the room, curled up into a ball. He didn’t even notice you, too busy trying to get air into his lungs.

Your heart tore at the sight of him so broken. You gently moved up beside him and kneeled just a few feet away. “Bucky?”

His red, watery eyes looked up at you like you were a ghost. Those eyes widened as he scrambled to make himself look like less of a mess. He sniffled back his tears and ran his hands over his eyes. Red creeped onto the tips of his ears and the back of his neck, completely ashamed you were seeing him like this.

His body froze when you wordlessly wrapped your arms around his body. He wanted to cry all over again. He couldn’t remember the last time someone had held him as if he were something precious. It took him a few seconds before he returned the gesture, hesitant to touch you. He could hurt you… or what if this was all just a figment of his imagination. Bucky didn’t want your tender hold to disappear.

You both stayed wrapped in each other’s arms for the rest of the night. Not a word needed to be said between you both. In your silence was a mutual agreement. An agreement that no one had to know about Bucky’s meltdown. An agreement that you wouldn’t ask questions. An agreement that this is what both of you needed. Some comfort.

[amsgrey]

when you're ready

Kaz Brekker x Fem!reader (established relationship)

Kaz comforts you after you get hurt.

WARNINGS: Assault (kind of alludes to SA but not stated), please do not read if this might upset you, canon typical violence, traumatic event, talk of ptsd symptoms (reader and Kaz) not proofread.

note: This is really short because I have been crazy busy with uni work, but here's a little Kaz comfort.

Nina held tight to your hand, laying next to you on your tiny cot. She watched quietly as Inej threaded a needle through the deep cut on your side. Your eyes were shut tight, trying to fight off the tears and nausea that built within you. Inej was being as gentle as she could, her fingers ghosting over your skin. She knew how you felt, she had been in your position too many times before. Your shirt was a bloody mess on the ground, leaving your skin exposed to the cold air that drafted through your open window.

"Almost done," Inej whispered, breaking the silence.

As she finished her work, you couldn't hold in the tears any longer. They fell silently down your cheeks as you tried to fight off the flashbacks burning through your mind. You could still feel the rough hands that had grabbed you, the fist that knotted your hair, yanking so hard on your scalp you feared it was ripped right out. You had tried to fight, to scream for the crows, but you were easily overpowered by the men who were easy twice your size. They bore the tattoo of dime lions, branded on their forearms that peaked out under their shirts.

Nina and Inej stayed with you the whole night, watching over you as you slept and reminding you you were safe when you woke crying. In fact, they stayed with you for the four days that followed. You couldn't bare the thought of leaving your room, Nina and Inej kept the other crows away and looked after you together. You still flinched at the sound of male voices, you knew it was irrational and ridiculous but there was nothing you could do to stop yourself.

Nina had told you that Kaz was worried, but he knew you needed space and therefore would give it to you. A small part of you wanted to seek him out, but there was the nagging in the back of your head that he couldn't give you the comfort you were seeking.

"Kaz is sending us all on a job tonight," Inej had brought you a cup of tea, the two of you looking out the window down at the streets below.

You nodded, "Is Kaz going too?"

Inej shook her head, "He's staying here."

You nodded, watching her go and leaving you stewing in your room. After the sun had long since set, you cracked open your door and tried to get yourself to leave your room.

Stepping past the threshold had been the most challenging part, trying to force your feet to move from where they stayed glued. You had almost cried in frustration, this was your home, you should not have to feel so scared.

So you forged ahead, taking the first step out of your room and then another. And another. Until you were all the way at Kaz's door. You held your hand on the door handle, breathing heavily to try to quell the nausea in your stomach.

You recoiled when you heard footsteps on the other side o the door, stepping back when Kaz threw open the door with a scowl. You gaped for something to say, blinking back the tears that suddenly choked you. Kaz looked like he was about to scorn the person who lingered outside his door, when he finally looked at you the scowl vanished.

"Y/N," He said, so softly it wretched through your already crumbling resolve.

Kaz seemed to realize how distraught you were, he stepped to the side and ushered you inside his room. When the door was securely closed, you turned to Kaz and silently begged for what you came to see him for. You always tried to give Kaz space, not pressuring him for physical affection, but now you need it. Needed him.

Kaz didn't look caged like he often did when he was uncomfortable, instead, he grabbed you in his arms and held you tightly to his chest. You had never actually hugged Kaz, you had held hands and been close enough to kiss but never hugged. Somehow it felt so much more intimate than the touches you had shared before. Kaz held you to his chest as you cried quietly, finally letting the relief of safety wash over you.

You pulled away after a moment, trying to compose yourself, "I'm sorry," You whispered.

Kaz cupped your face in his gloved hands, "they won't hurt you again."

You had heard a few whispers about the slat in the last few days. Kaz had disappeared one evening and returned covered in blood, his cane stained red. It was always accompanied by whispers about his gloves or Dirtyhands does not need a reason. You knew there was a reason this time. How he had managed to track down and find the men who had attacked you was beyond you, you hadn't told anyone about who they were.

"Thank you."

You slipped past Kaz and sat down heavily on his bed, looking over his room. Kaz hesitantly sat down next to you, watching you with sharp eyes and waiting for you to show signs of being uncomfortable.

After a long moment, you let out a sigh, covering your face with your hands and trying to gather your thoughts. You could feel Kaz shift next to you, and then he placed a hand on your shoulder to try to comfort you.

"I'll be here," Kaz promised, taking back his hand because he didn't know what exactly to do, "when you're ready to talk."

You nodded, "I know."

[clean-bands-dirty-stories]

Hold Still ~ X.T.

A/n: Gender neutral pronouns were used, so gn reader for this one! Pure fluff after the last angsty fic <3

Request: “Xavier x werewolf!reader where R gets into a fight with another student that Xavier pulls them out of and helps patch them up. R is still drunk on adrenaline(or like mildly concussed lmao), and they keep being annoying trying to steal kisses from him while he’s literally trying to help stop their face from bleeding.”

Word Count: 1500+

MASTERLIST

Xavier had gotten there too late to see how it had started, but it was quickly quite clear how it was ending. Y/n wasn’t shifted at all, only their eyes glowing as they went to town on the person underneath them. Xavier had only managed to slip through the crowd and hook his hands under his partner’s arms, hefting them up and away. They had fought, and though Xavier was taller they were stronger and they almost got away. If him not groaning as their foot came in contact with the sude of his leg and them recognizing his voice, they probably would have gotten away clean.

Distracted by Xavier though, their focus changed quickly as they turned from the guy that Xavier didn’t even recognize - except that they weren’t from Nevermore. Which made no sense because they were at school. The town people never came here on their own.

He focused on his partner as their hands ran over his shoulders and down his arms, eyes scanning for injury.

Despite himself, Xavier smiled. “I’m okay.” Of course they had the time and energy to be worried about him when they had a forming black eye, split lip and bloody nose.

Xavier was a little proud to say the other guy looked worse though. Y/n had handled him well.

Not that he should he encouraging that.

Weems was on the scene in the next breath, leaving no room for further discussion. Her eyes ran over something before her worry turned cold and hard as her eyes landed on the boy still on the ground. No one had even tried to help him up, which confused Xavier even more.

Then he saw it.

When Xavier’s art in town had been painted over last year, Weems had given him permission to do something at the school. He had put all of the effort he had into this one, absolutely sure that it would be safe inside the school at the very least.

The wall he’d had his second painting was white, the paint only on enough to cover what he had worked so hard on, underneath. Over the white was splattered, “Monster” in big blocky red letters. At the bottom of the scene on the wall was an open and prepped bear trap.

Xavier felt himself go pale.

The trap was a message of course, the boy probably hadn’t meant to actually catch Xavier or anyone else. But it would have been easy not to see it if you were lost in a book or practicing some practical magic or in regular school stuff - even if you were in a hurry on the way to class. There was a corner that someone could turn around and completely not see the trap at all.

This kid had not only ruined Xavier’s portrait, he had put every single person at Nevermore in very real danger.

No wonder Y/n had gone for the throat.

Weems leered at the boy at her full height and the boy on the ground shrunk into himself. “You won’t press charges, or spread word on what happened here. If you try to I will expose the instigating actions and very illegal trespassing and assault you’ve done. Don’t even get me started on the physical safety threat you’ve made.” It wasn’t totally accurate, but it would he only too easy to play off if anyone tried anything.

Weems had grown a backbone. That was nice to see.

The boy nodded and, once dismissed by Weems, scrambled to freedom. She then turned to Y/n. She didn’t reprimand them as expected. Her gaze simply softened and she sighed. “I know things have gotten difficult for you since getting arrested,” she said softly to Xavier. His eyes fell to the ground, unable to look at his ruined painting.

For the second time now.

“Make me something for my office instead okay?” She asked.

Xavier nodded, looking at her as she kneeled down to check on how Y/n was doing. “Thanks, Weems.”

The woman smiled. “Of course. Now go get your partner patched up.”

Xavier smiled softly, helping Y/n to their feet. The pair left to Xavier’s dorm. Usually they’d be sneakier or at least get some light hearted joking teasing from teachers or reminders of curfew, but today they just walked and everyone left them alone.

Y/n had stepped up for Nevermore ajd taken hits for it. They could have this one.

Once inside, Xavier sat them down on his bed (It smelled like him and he knew they’d like that). Then he got a wet rag, disinfectant and a few bandages. He sat next to Y/n, reaching over to hold their chin as he used the rag to softly dab and wipe the blood away, cleaning the cut.

They hissed, leaning away on instinct. Xavier shot them a half amused look. “We love a knight in shining armor but now I have to patch you up like the good boyfriend I am. So please stay still.”

Y/n did a little pout. “Can’t you just kiss it better?”

Xavier chuckled. Then he sobered a bit as he realized their eyes were dilated and their gaze seemed a little unfocused.

Shit.

“Hey, are you feeling anything abnormal other than the pain from the bruising and cuts?” He asked, trying to move their chin so their eyes would meet his. They seemed to struggling with the task.

Y/n just shrugged. “My head hurts a little. He got like, two good hits in. But only in the beginning. I landed on the ground before he got on top of me and then I sort of flipped us over and-“ They shrugged again.

Xavier frowned. “Did you hit your head?”

Y/n laughed at that. “Several times. Between his fist and the concrete I got a few good whacks.”

Xavier bit back an angry comment. That wouldn’t help them right now. He would chide Y/n for being reckless and apathetic with their well being another time. “Y/n, you have a concussion.” He raised an accusing eyebrow.

Y/n grinned. “Not surprised I got a bit roughed up falling for you.”

Xavier snorted, rolling his eyes and dodging his partner as they went in for a kiss. “You cannot flirt your way out of this. You should have told me that you hit your head. I could have made it worse.”

Y/n sighed, leaning against the end of the bed, first pushing a pillow behind him so the post didn’t dig into his back. “I’m sorry Xav I just. Tired.” They nestled into the bed and closed their eyes, as if to sleep.

Xavier pulled them into a sitting position, heart swelling when they whined. They were so adorable right now…

He had go focus.

“You can’t fall asleep when you have s concussion darling we don’t know exactly how bad your concussion is.”

Y/n rolled his eyes but conceded. “Fine. Continue your treatment Doctor Thorpe.”

A smile ghosted at his lips again, unable to help himself. “Okay sit still and I’ll try to get the rest of your face.”

“Not my face,” Y/n groaned. “My money winner!”

A chuckle bubbled from Xavier as he was caught off guard by the near drunk way Y/n was acting right now. He seemed to be able to focus more easily now and wasn’t slurring his words, and he seemed to be keeping his balancing sitting up fine enough so Xavier was unworried enough to be able to enjoy the shenanigans. “Whatever, Y/n.” He reached the rag forward to wipe more of the blood away. Y/n ducked the rag and leaned in again for a kiss. This time they got a peck before Xavier ducked out of the way. “Y/n,” he chided.

The put on their best pleading face. “One kiss and I’ll sit still?”

Xavier sighed, taking a second before conceding. “Fine.” They made a squeaky noise of celebration before puckering up, leaning in. Xavier chuckled before shifting his hold from their chin to their jaw, leaning in for a long and deep and sincere kiss. When he leaned away they whined and he found himself suddenly sickly in love. “Please let me finish?”

Y/n hesitated, eyes locked on the details of Xavier’s face, drinking in how he was looking at them right now. They pursed their lips. “Xav. You know you’re not a monster, right?”

Xavier felt something warm settle in his chest. Y/n was always so aware and caring of him, even when they were concussed.

God he was lucky. “I know.” His thumb brushed across their cheek, expression soft. He was melted to the floor in love with them.

They smiled. “Good.” They settled into a single spot, lifting their chin and offering their face for cleaning. Xavier went back to work, thanking whoever was listening above that even though people were cruel and mistakes haunted you even when the mistakes weren’t yours - that despite all the bad in the world, Xavier had Y/n. Someone so good they single handedly balanced everything else.

He could paint another picture. They were worth that.

[allzelemonz]

Loyal: Colm O’Driscoll X Male Reader

Pronouns: he/him, Reader is referred to as ‘feller’ and ‘boy’ Physical Sex: AMAB Rating: E/Smut, noncon Warnings: Rape, noncon, O’Driscolls are their own warning, Colm is his own warning, torture, blood, no lube, sex as torture, anal fingering, anal sex, bloody sex, handjob, unwanted climax Summary: It doesn’t matter what the O’Driscolls throw at you, loyalty is a value to the Van der Lindes. You’re not giving Dutch up, even when Colm’s method of torture turn unconventional.

It’s hard to process the events. A tree fell, the stagecoach flipped, water flowed past you, gunfire, darkness. You’ve been in a dark room for a while, the occasional visitor to add bruises or make a new cut.

“Breaking ya in.” Some of them say.

Your hands are bound in the air, you’re almost hanging but your feet can touch the ground just enough. There has been no food or water given to you. They took most of your clothes, leaving you in your union suit that’s been torn so they could cut into your chest. Blood soaks what covering you do have and you can taste it in your mouth every so often. Your body is exhausted, beaten, sweaty, everything but broken.

The door opens, making way for a man with a lantern. Colm O’Driscoll, the unmistakable man himself. You watch him closely, now knowing what you were being ‘broken in’ for. He sets the lantern down on a table near you and wanders over to look at you.

“One a’ Dutch’s pets?” He grins. “Look at chu.”

His eyes rake over your chest, every one of the cuts that his boys made bringing a shine to them.

“You want something, Colm?” You ask, voice raspy from the dehydration.

He chuckles. “Course I do.” His hand reaches out and glides over your chest, making hiss quietly when they run into a bleeding wound. “Where’s Dutch these days?”

You stay silent until Colm presses his nails into a cut on your stomach, digging into it and making you whimper and groan from the pain.

“That ain’t in yer best interest, boy.” Colm muses, acting as though this is a polite conversation. “Now, where’s Dutch?”

You catch your breath a bit, staring at your captor. “Not telling.”

Colm smiles and makes your stomach twist. “I am sure we can fix that.”

He disappears from sight for a moment and you can feel his hand on your waist. Slowly, he lowers what’s left of your union suit, leaving you completely bare. Your skin shivers under his fingers as they trail downward. You try to move away but you have no control, just swaying at nothing. His fingers dip inside of you and it hurts with nothing to lubricate them. The dry feeling makes you squirm, but Colm grips tightly on your waist and holds you still. He presses further in, three fingers, knuckle by knuckle until he can’t go further.

“I can stop, boy.” He whispers, his breath hitting your ear. “Just tell me where ol’ Dutch is.”

You shutter, gathering every drop of loyalty to your gang. “No.”

Colm tsks as he moves his fingers inside of you, stretching you in a painful way without any aid. “Where’d Dutch find such a loyal little dog?”

He hooks his fingers and it’s the first time you feel some amount of pleasure. He starts to hit a decent spot, but the dry fucking his finger give overpowers it all. His other hand reaches around and grips at your dick. It’s soft and will probably stay that way if you can help it. You don’t know how to handle this. You’re not giving up the gang, you didn’t before this and you won’t after. If you were going to betray them it would have been before all of this. You’re going to endure, maybe die for them. But getting through this, living in the moment, is what tests your will. You don’t know if you should stiffen or relax, try to go along with it or resist, lean into the pleasure or fight through the pain.

“Ya know what I’m about ta do, boy?” Colm whispers. “Ya don’t wanna give up Dutch, that’s fine. I got more uses fer ya.”

Colm tugs his fingers out and you hold back the noise that threatens to escape. It’s a relief and a new pain all at once. You can hear the thump of what you’re sure is Colm removing his gunbelt and you close your eyes, trying to think of anything else. When you feel Colm press against you the thoughts fail you. He spits and you can feel the slight relief as he pushes inside. It’s not enough at all, but Colm doesn’t seem to care. He rams himself inside until he’s flush against you back. A sob escapes you from the force and you shutter as Colm’s hands travel from your hips down to jerk your still soft dick.

“Might as well enjoy it, boy.” Colm mutters.

His hand moves fast, trying to get you hard, but it doesn’t work. He gives up, returning his hands to your hips and slowly pulling back. You squeeze your eyes shut, trying to hold tears that wait to fall. Colm slams back inside and you manage to gasp instead of scream. It’s not as dry now and you get the feeling that he’s being lubricated by blood. His nails raking against the muscles probably started it and the stretching opened things up. He seems pleased by this because he presses a kiss to your shoulder. It feels like needles and spreads over your body.

His pace picks up and the sound of his skin smacking into your makes you feel more sick than the actual fucking. It’s not very painful anymore. The blood helps him along his brutal pace and you can feel the beginnings of pleasure stir. You stay still, ignoring the slight animal instinct and the intrusive idea that you could get off to this. Colm’s teeth sink into your shoulder as his dick twitches and he spills into you.

He groans, kissing the bite mark he left. “I like ya.”

His voice, the way he says the words, and the words themselves make you want to puke. But, even more so, it’s the ache you can now feel. Colm wraps his hand around your hardened dick as he smiles against your skin.

“That’s a good boy.” He hums. “Ya best learn ta enjoy yerself. I got plenty a’ fellers ‘round here that’d love ta play with a boy like you.”

You hold in a sob when Colm pulls out, feeling the drip of excess begin to drip. There’s a shuffling sound as Colm picks up his pants and dresses himself properly before he comes around to face you. He smiles at the state of you, nearly crying, dick hard, and shuttering.

“Ya ain’t a Dutch’s anymore, boy.” He says, stepping close to you and taking your dick in his hand as he strokes quickly. “Ya ain’t never gonna see ‘em again… ‘less ya tell me where they are.”

You have to resist the instinct to seek friction as he jerks you. It hurts and it’s twisted but your dick doesn’t have the thinking ability to know that. You twitch in his hand and Colm back away so he doesn’t get anything on his clothes.

“Yer gonna hang here until I want chu again.” Colm says, sighing. “Yer gonna entertain my boys that come ta see ya, they’re good at breakin’ things in and damn do you need it, boy.”

You hang your head, keeping your gaze fixed on the ground. Ratting on Dutch now has no purpose. You’ve already endured and you will continue to. For Dutch. For Hosea and Arthur and John. For Charles and Javier and Bill. For Tilly and Mary-Beth and Uncle. For everyone.

[wildestdreamsblog]

Is there a lifetime waiting for us?

Pairing: Soft!dark Ari Levinson x Reader

Summary: You were just trying to escape your past, and Ari was trying to chase his future.

Warnings: Soft!Dark Ari, Swearing, Possessiveness, Manipulative behavior, Sexual themes, Breeding kink, If you’re not 18+ please, PLEASE, do not interact. Be mindful of the warnings. Let me know if I miss anything.

A/N: it’s been a month! This is an almost 6k update and I had to physically stop myself because I have too much to write (and also my writer’s block kind of disappeared for a while ehehe a blessing!) next will be the end! Thank you so much my loves!

Masterlist

This love is bad: Part Five

“Thank you,” Jess whispered as the two of you looked at the sleeping Ishmael. He was slumbering peacefully, his chubby cheeks red squeezed on the pillow. His operation was a success. Although it was not guaranteed, the expensive hospital and the experienced doctors definitely increased the chance of success. Money really did know no bounds.

You patted Jess’ hands softly. You knew the past couple of days weren’t kind to her if her disheveled state was any indication. Your heart felt like it was going to burst from sadness, not only for Jess, for the baby, but also for what he had became.

You sometimes wondered if it was you that pushed him into the very edge.

Had you listened to his side, would he be like this?

“Anything for you. You know that,” you assured her, offering her a warm, encouraging smile. It was already late at night when you and Ari went to the hospital, with Ari handling everything for them like the dependable man that you initially knew him to be. You willingly went with the stranger that he was just like the hopeless case that you were. You only finally breathed when the doctors said the operation was a success, that the little boy only had to recover and then he could finally go home.

Through all that, you never once looked at Ari. Regardless of your coldness to him, you constantly felt his eyes on you. Regardless of the space you kept putting in between the two of you, you still felt his hands constantly touching you.

What perhaps was your tipping point was seeing him genuinely cared for the well-being of his god son. You knew Ari. You could see in his eyes the fondness he had for baby Ishmael, and the way his eyes lit with compassion as he assured his friends that everything was going to turn out just fine. However, if he was remorseful, he didn’t show it.

The sound of the suite door opening snapped your from your reverie, prompting you to look at Isaac first, and then to him.

Isaac was Jess’ pillar as their world almost fell apart, holding her hand through all the debacles life threw their way. Despite it all, Isaac swore he would rather suffer with Jess than to be happy with someone else. And you could see that. The moment Isaac’s eyes found Jess’, it was apparent that the heavy burden he was holding on his shoulder became lighter. The way Jess looked at Isaac as if their souls were speaking, like they were the only ones in a crowded room, that everything was going to be okay as long as they had each other. It was the love that was warm, and safe, and calm.

And that was the kind of love you hoped for.

That was the kind of love you almost had with him.

And then your eyes shifted to the one still in your heart, only to find him looking intently at you. He didn’t know how to tell you, but now that you were near, he felt calmer. When he let you leave, it was as though his entire world had shifted, disturbing the very ground he stood on, awakening each crevices of the already existing cracks in his very soul. You walked away and his world turned dark.

If you had any idea how much you were loved by him, if you had any idea how you were the only one who could keep the light in his life, that if you leave again he would forever be the darkness itself…would you accept him? If you had an ounce of idea, would you run to the hills?

“Come,” Ari called you, his voice deep as he reached to hold your hand, “let’s give them space.”

“You like pasta, right?” Ari asked absentmindedly, his eyes not straying off the menu he was handed by the attendant as soon as he stepped in the exclusive restaurant. The attendant took one looked at him and immediately assisted them. You knew this place as you had been here before. You knew one needed a reservation for this place, and yet Ari strolled in like he owned the place.

He looked like he owned the place.

It didn’t take long before all the food he ordered came. You were relieved food came so swift because the way Ari was looking at you was starting to feel excruciating.

“You plan on eating all of these?” You asked bewilderedly as the waiter continuously placed artful and mouthwatering plates on the table.

“Ari, I know you have big appetite but there is no way you can eat all of these,” you scolded before finally noticing how he did that thing as he always did. He was giving you portion of his food, as if it was innate in him to do so. And you got hurt all over again.

“What are you doing?” You asked coldly, straightening your back and looking directly at his clueless face, as if he did nothing wrong. He ceased cutting his steak slowly, glancing at you before letting go of his utensils.

“I-I just thought you’d like to taste what I ordered-“

“Did I ask you to do that?”

“Well, no-“

“I didn’t ask you to do that,” you snapped reproachfully, a tone he never heard you used before. You hated this. How could he be so thoughtful one moment and be the villainous man the next?

He nodded, biting his lower lip unsurely before offering you a small smile apologetically. “Force of habit.”

You observed him, truly observed him. You didn’t know why, you had no explanation as to why you didn’t notice that he lost weight. He looked like he hadn’t been sleeping properly evidenced by the dark bags under his eyes. His hair was definitely longer now, just an inch past his broad shoulders. Perhaps, the suit he wore hid the changes in his body. Or maybe, your remorse and sorrow made you blind.

He was eating slower, and his posture made it seemed like he was making himself smaller. And your heart ached, but this time it was for him.

Perhaps, the thing that you were still failing to see was that underneath it all, he was just the young child wanting to be loved, lashing out because he couldn’t get the love he craved for.

“We need to talk,” you announced in defeat after a moment of silence, after suffering through a quiet dinner.

Ari sipped from his glass of wine, regarding you over the glass before gesturing for you to speak.

“What did you mean by giving you a chance?”

“Going on dates, knowing where you are, you not running from me.”

“Until when?”

He couldn’t answer that, because there was no limit to this love. There were no specific number or days, weeks, months, years that you could give him and they still wouldn’t be enough… there was just no end to his love.

“I can’t do this, Ari. You know I can’t,” you enunciated to him, because you knew, you just knew you couldn’t survive another heartache from him. If you let him, you knew you would find yourself in his orbit again, uncaring of the hurricane that he unleashed, of the darkness inside of him. If you let yourself forget, you knew all those years running would be for nothing.

“I’ll take what you can give. I just can’t live without you.” He said it as if it was a fact, as if he was talking about the weather, as if he was not pouring his heart out to you.

“You told me that you’re going to be honest with me from now on. Were you telling the truth?”

“I am.”

“Then can I trust you to not have me followed around?” You asked him and you saw him visibly froze. Ari was having a hard time with what you were asking of him, the controlling side of him fighting to know you were okay, to know you were safe. But he also recognized that he had to step back, that if he didn’t honor your wishes, he wouldn’t have all of you. That if he got you to stay, it was because he left you no choice.

He didn’t want that.

He wanted you to choose him because you loved him..like you made him feel before.

But how could he silence the demons in his mind?

“Can I trust you not to control my life like my father did?” You added when you noticed his calculating look, and you knew you had to say this.

With his jaw clenched tight, he perused. “You have my word.”

“Can I trust you not to go back on your word?”

Ari chuckled under his breath, his arm resting comfortably on the table. He leaned in, touching the back of his hand on your cheek. He was watching his hand on your skin fascinatingly, before saying in a conversationalist tone, “Sweetheart, if I wanted to, I could just take you. You are so little I can just snatch you over my shoulders, and no one here would stop me. Not even your bodyguard. Not even your father. Not even your family. I would take you somewhere remote, somewhere with just the two of us. We do need an alone time, darling. We’ll stay there until you learn to love me again, or maybe until we start a family of our own. A little you running around…And this time, you wouldn’t be able to escape.”

Your breath hitched when he reached your lips, caressing them once. You gulped as you listened to him, your heart beat louder as he painted a picture of the ways he could keep you, of his prowess that he was merely suppressing.

Ari’s blue eyes found yours again before offering you a smile, “But I won’t do that. Because you’re giving me another chance…right darling?”

It was a miracle that Ari let you leave by your own. He only watched you with his dark eyes as you walked out of the restaurant. You kept looking behind your back to see if anyone was following you, but you didn’t find anyone. It was a strange thing to trust Ari’s words, but you did somehow. You didn’t know if it was stupidity, or the way he was tonight. But you knew he wasn’t going back on his words.

With you hands on your coat, you walked serenely, digesting everything that happened today. And it was a lot. You wondered how you were going to tell everything to Bucky, but at the very least you had the right mind to message him what you had to do. He only asked if you were okay and to call him if you needed saving. He implied several times throughout the message that he was going to ruin Ari’s pretty hair if he hurt you in any way.

Your thoughts started running a mile, the future seemed daunting. You didn’t know what to do. You were so lost in your thoughts it took you a moment to feel the steady drops of the rain, slowly and then all at once. Unconsciously, you turned around and ran. It was hours later though when you realized what you had done.

Yet again, you came for him without any questions.

Your breath was ragged when you reached the restaurant, your hair dripping from the rain. You were mindless of your state, you were only thinking of Ari.

Like a despondent masterpiece, one that people would looked at, only to wonder what made such a beauty so sad- there he was, standing outside the restaurant, with his hand deep in his pocket. His posture would almost appeared to be nonchalant, but the way his hand trembled in his pocket gave him away. The way his arm was rigid did not fool you. The rain still petrified him. And you realized that seeing him terrified upset your very being.

You walked to him as you fished the umbrella you had in your purse, opened it, and held it up to him as you faced the road. Ari suddenly didn’t feel the drops of the rain, waking him from his stupor. Suddenly, the rain couldn’t touched him. And when he looked down, he noted that it was all because of you.

The love of his life returned.

“You came back,” he said in unrestrained wonder.

You scoffed, “This does not mean anything.”

It did.

You stepped out of the bus, the cold wind and the resumption of the drizzling rain made you hugged your coat a little tighter. You should not have been taken a back to see your confidant and friend, Bucky, leaning against the post with a nonchalant look on his face, in his hand was a black umbrella. Wordlessly, he walked near you, opening the umbrella and holding it above the two of you.

You looked up at his tall frame and his at eased body. His hand was comfortably resting in his pocket as the other one held the umbrella up. He side-eyed you before rolling his eyes at you.

“What?”

“I’m sorry for leaving the house,” you started, the feeling that you did something wrong was resurfacing now that you were beside Bucky. For heaven’s sake, he risked his life and lost his job because of his loyalty and friendship to you. And what did you do?

You made deal with the devil himself.

“I’m sorry for not asking you first-“

“Princess, stop it,” he admonished you, narrowing his eyes at you for good measure. “You did nothing wrong. You’re a grown ass, smart woman capable of making her own decisions. Anyone who thinks that they can control you are idiots. Also, ew, I’m not your captor.”

You chuckled at his lengthy anecdote of your own capabilities and that you were an independent woman who could make your own way in the world.

“-foolish, dim-witted men thinking they can control you.”

You couldn’t help but let out the burst of laughter you had been holding since he started his verbal onslaught.

“Are you calling my father dim-witted, foolish, stupid, and idiot?”

He didn’t even pause to think and just nodded his head. “I’ve always wondered how a man such as him could produce smart and well-emotionally adjusted daughters.”

You wrinkled your nose, “It’s a wonder, right? I guess we’ll never know.”

You were almost near the house when Bucky discreetly looked behind you. “You know what tonight’s wonder is? He didn’t have you followed.”

“I asked him to let me go.”

“And he said yes?”

“He did.”

“Hmm.”

“So…what do you think I should do?”

He scoffed and looked at you as he opened the front door. He didn’t even look thoughtful as he led you in the house. “I don’t know, maybe start being honest to yourself.”

“As if you’re honest to yourself!” You shot back, clutching your hand to your chest as though you were angered by his statement.

“I am-“

“So you admit you’re head over heels over my sister?”

He chuckled before shaking his head, his eyes dark and serious when he answered, “I’m not delusional, princess. I know what I feel for her. And what I feel for her is more than that.”

The night was equally never-ending and brief, and yet, you stayed up staring at the ceiling with your phone clutched carefully in your hand. You had been contemplating what your next step would be, and Bucky’s words echoed in your head. You found it difficult to make a decision, too scared to make a wrong one and yet, too tired to stay at the same place you were stuck on.

You heard heavy footsteps and the front door closing, and you knew Bucky was out for the day. The sun was steadily rising, the light seeping through the thin curtains. Without another thought, you dialed Ari’s number.

Perhaps, you didn’t expect him to answer his phone seeing as it was still early. Perhaps, you were even wishing he wouldn’t answer, but he did. The phone only rang twice before you heard his baritone, groggy voice on the other line. You didn’t even let him finish when you abruptly sputtered on your condition.

“Three dates.”

Ari paused for a moment, his languid mind yet to make sense of what you said. “It’s nice that your voice was the first thing I heard today, darling.”

You jumped when you saw him requesting a video call. And yet, you accepted.

“There’s my pretty woman,” he mumbled, a small smile spreading on his face as he looked at you. Ari looked handsome when he was up and awake, but if anyone saw him just as he was waking with his messy hair, his beard, and if anyone heard how he sound in the morning, they would say he was more than beautiful. He was magnificent. “How did I get so lucky to have someone as spectacular as you?”

You wrinkled your nose at him, “Flattery won’t get you anywhere, Ari.”

He lifted his eyebrow and chuckled, his laughter deep. “It’s not flattery when I’m telling nothing but the truth, sweetheart.”

“Three dates.”

You saw his eyebrows lifted, confused as to what you were saying.

“I’ve thought about it. I computed and the result revealed that three dates are the most optimal number of dates for the chance-“

“Wait, hold on. You computed?”

“Yes.”

“What formula did you use?”

You paused before frowning at him, “Keep asking and we’ll be down to two dates.”

Ari pursed his lips, his smile wide as he closed his eyes. From this angle you could see that he was once again sleeping bare-chested. You swore that this man was allergic to clothes when he was sleeping. His chest hair was peeking, he looked comfortable. And now you hated how you missed sleeping in his arms.

“You know normally, deals have further conversations to hear both sides,” he started, his voice conversationalist as if he was talking about the weather. “We have counteroffers to ensure that we get the best out of the deal.”

You wanted to point out that there was a reason why you didn’t go in a business school, but you instead asked him what he wanted.

“I want access to you, darling. Like we used to have. If I only have three dates with you, I want it all.”

“But what-“ you started protesting when he cut you off, his blue eyes piercing as he stared heavily at you.

“And in turn, I’ll tell you all that you want to know.”

You saw Ari waiting for you inside the coffee shop. He looked grumpy, yet what you noticed was instead of his fancy, probably too-expensive clothes that he had been wearing, he was sporting a much simpler look. He was wearing what he used to wear back in the town. Similar to a moth drawn to a flame, his eyes found yours. You smiled exaggeratedly, waving annoyingly at him from the window before entering the coffee shop, the chosen meeting place. You looked around as you entered, noting several women looking at his form. You couldn’t even blame them because he really looked like he stepped out of the imagination of one when you hear the world ‘Masculine’.

And yet, darling his eyes were only for you.

“You’re late, darling,” he greeted you, in front of him was a hot cup of coffee that had long cooled off, and a pastry.

“Time is just an illusion, according to Einstein. Who am I to refute the claim of the smartest man to ever walk the earth?”

He scoffed before gesturing for the waiter. Within a minute, an iced coffee was set in front of you, as well as your favorite pastry. And all of what he ordered in advanced were your favorites.

“Einstein wasn’t the most intelligent man to ever walk the earth, sweetheart. In fact, he wasn’t even on the top ten highest IQ-“

“How do you even know that?” You inquired him, both finding it weird and amazing how his brain worked.

He shrugged as if it wasn’t a big deal, “I read it somewhere.”

“Ari!” You almost jumped from the surprise of children running to him. You weren’t familiar with the place. He drove for an hour out of the city before arriving at this homey, yet spacious place. You turned to look at Ari and you found him kneeling down to hug the children. Their toothless grin, their wander-filled eyes, and their excited voices warmed your heart.

“You’re back, Mr. Levinson,” a middle-aged woman greeted him with a pleasant smile on her face. Ari stood up as he messed with the little boy’s hair. “And you brought a guest!”

“Cleo, this is my fiancé, Y/N,” he introduced you in a way that had you glaring at him before smiling sweetly at the good-natured woman. “Darling, this is Cleo. She’s one of the main caretaker of the place and the children.”

“It’s so nice to meet you,” Cleo offered you her hand, shaking it gently. “The kids have been constantly asking Ari when he’d have wife of his own. I thought he’d never find someone for him since he’s so workaholic. But I’m glad to finally meet you!”

You blushed as you looked at Ari, finding it harder to refute his claim with these many children looking up at you with excitement in her eyes. And Cleo looked at you like you were already his wife.

And Ari, oh Ari was just smug enough to wrap his beefy arm around your shoulder. He even had the audacity to kiss the top of your head lovingly knowing that you couldn’t do anything in front of the children. Ari looked like he was enjoying this, and you were already plotting how you would take your revenge.

“Come inside, let me show you around, Mrs. Levinson,” Cleo smiled as she walked inside the place.

“Oh, I’m not-“

“She said let’s go Mrs. Ari Levinson,” Ari whispered before once again, placing a kiss on your cheek. He hummed as he pulled your hand and guided you inside.

The place looked well-kept, nothing like the other charity places you had been to whenever your father wanted to flex his money and pretend like he cared about the people. This place looked like it was filled with hope, like the people working here actually cared instead of just working for this for money. The place even had access to good education, health, as well as psychologist that the children could see. It saddened you though to hear how some of these children were abandoned from the very young age, some were abused, and some were orphaned.

Ari brought food for everyone, even spending time to play with them. And by the time the children had to rest, he found you sitting on the swing on the playground. He sat down quietly, offering you a smile.

“When did you start this?”

He looked up, the afternoon sun shining on his face. It took him a moment to say something. “When I turned eighteen, as soon as I had access to a portion of my trust fund. My father brought me to one of his charities. But then he wanted to close this one, claiming that he better used his money to something that can generate more money, that greedy bastard. I couldn’t let the children be homeless,” he shrugged as though it wasn’t much of a big deal, as if this didn’t prove that he was indeed a good person, a hero. You were feeling conflicted because he started out as your hero, too…and now he was your personal villain.

“You really care about them, don’t you?” You whispered, looking intently at his serene face.

“I do. I don’t want any children to grow up without anything, to grow up with people who didn’t know how to love them. I guess..I don’t want anyone to experience what I experienced…the feeling of hopelessness was something I swore to never feel again.”

“You’re a good man, Ari,” you whispered softly, offering him a smile for the first time since that happened.

He observed you for a moment, an intense emotion passing his face before he stood up and kneeled in front of you, holding chains on each side of you to steady you before running his huge hand on your hair. He leaned forward and rested his forehead on yours.

“You know I’ll never be cruel to any of our children, right?” He asked you as you looked into his eyes. “I’ll love them all equally. I’ll love them the way my mother loved me, the way that is right. I’ll take care of them…of you. My family will always come first to me.”

You nodded because you knew deep inside you that Ari just wanted a family of his own, that he’d take care of them because that was who he was. You knew he’d love his family so deeply, you knew he’d protect them. And if you were being honest, you sometimes lie awake at night and thought of what would have been your life with Ari. Your foolish heart yearned for that future where you and him lived happily.

“And my heart would be only for their mother. I’d only have eyes for her…for you. I’ll only ever love you.”

The second date happened days after his heartfelt expression of his love for you. You weren’t pretentious to claim that what he said didn’t move you. Because you were there, you saw it, you felt it, and you knew him.

But still, a heart that had been burned once was terrified of trusting, of taking the leap of faith.

Your annoying phone woke you up from an exceptional dream, one that included an extremely handsome man. With a grunt, you answered your phone. “It’s five in the morning, I was dreaming of Glen Powell, why on earth are you calling me?”

“Who the fuck is that man?”

“My crush. Now what do you want?”

“Silence, sweetheart. I’m googling who that is,” Ari answered with a dark voice, his face full of concentration.

“What do you want?” You repeated with an annoyed huff, your eyes closing on its own.

“I’m waiting for you near the bus station. We’re going on our second date, darling.”

You closed your eyes and contemplated on the deal you made. You meant, was that a really good deal? Maybe you could risk breaking the deal off for a few minutes of sleep? You thought that was worth it. Maybe you could move again to another town, one that was far from Ari just for an additional minutes of sleep.

With an irritated groan, you sat up. You hated making people wait ever since you were young. You felt like it was disrespect to them, and now you loathed your principles.

With an irritated glare, you climbed in the car and closed the door with more force than necessary. You were about to launch your tirade when Ari lifted an iced coffee and food to you, smiling innocently at you before blinking owlishly.

You mumbled your thanks as he started driving leisurely, his muscular arm resting on the side of his door, the other one effortlessly holding the steering-wheel.

“You know, Glen Powell is only six feet tall.”

You looked at him, wondering where he was going with this.

“I’m just saying…I’m 6’4,” he added cooly, side-eyeing you long enough to see you raised your brows.

“A-are you competing with an actor that has rock-hard abs?” You asked in disbelief with a chuckle in your voice. You were enjoying seeing this huge man sulking and jealous of someone who would never knew who you were in this lifetime.

“I have abs,” he mumbled incoherently, muttering how he should be the only man you had a crush on.

The sun had already shone above you when you woke up from your sleep. You turned to see Ari humming quietly along the song. He was now sporting dark sunglasses. He turned to smile at you when he saw you waking up. You noticed that the seat was now leaning back, allowing you to sleep more comfortably, draped on you was a jacket that smelled just like him. You couldn’t help but answer him back with a smile of your own.

“We’re almost there, sweetheart.”

‘There’ turned out to be a stunning beach with its white sand, blue water, and an almost empty shore. Ari led you to a white, beach house. In his hand was your and his carryon, in his other was your hand clutched securely in his. The house had a homey feeling in it. You watched him as he placed the bags in a room.

“You own this?”

“Uh, yeah,” he answered from across the room. “I inherited this from my mom.”

The place turned out to be the most treasured place of his mother. She had been meaning to bring Ari here when she unfortunately met her demise. He wouldn’t even know this place existed had he not discovered it through a lawyer, one that his father omitted on telling. You looked around the place, admiring the neat look, the wooden flooring, and the bright aura it had. You also noticed upon your snooping around that the place only had one bedroom. You found Ari preparing food in the kitchen. He was now sporting a shorts you were used on seeing on him whenever he ran. His taut bottom was making you melt that you physically had to tear your eyes away from him.

“The place only has one bedroom,” you mused your thoughts as you neared him, grabbing an apple and biting on it as you waited for him to say something. He looked at you, his eyes amused as he raised his brows.

“Oh?”

“Yes, oh.”

Ari stopped preparing the food and within a minute, he prowled to you, his form like a predator. He didn’t stop, not when he was a foot away from you, not when he was practically on you. Ari trapped you with his muscular arms on either side of you, he was so close that you could feel the heat emitting from his body. He was so near that you could feel his hardness.

Your breath hitched as he looked at you with unrestrained heat in his eyes.

“You shared my bed every night back then,” he whispered in your ear, his beard tickling your neck that you had to put your hands on his chest, the apple long forgotten. You couldn’t move him even if you put all your weight. “You slept in my arms so peacefully each night.” Ari ran his hand to your smooth neck, down to the middle of your chest, and slowly to your stomach. His breath deep as he growled lowly, “I felt you come apart on my cock each night. I know what you feel like from the inside.”

“That was before-“

“What’s the difference, my sweet darling? Didn’t you say time is just an illusion? Hmm?” He teased as he inhaled the alluring scent of your neck, making you breathe harder.

You could feel your core tingling from his well-crafted words, could feel your knees weaken that your last ditch effort was to push him once again. And to your surprised, he let you moved him with a promise or a threat in his eyes.

You panted as you held his darkened eyes. With a forced smile, you said, “Let’s go for a swim!” You were hoping that he’d dropped the act.

Yet, you were wrong.

You were about to run to the water with an excited smile on your face, your barefoot touching the sand when you felt a strong arm wrapped around your midsection and before you knew it, Ari was lifting you effortlessly to the chaise lounge. He set you down gently, sitting you in front of him as he grabbed the sunblock. He could feel your dissent before you even voiced it.

“Don’t fight me on this, darling. I don’t want you getting sunburnt.”

But what should be an innocent act turned out to be a sensuous one. He made sure that you were covered, even under your bathing suit. His hand gently spreading the lotion on your back, and even dipping mischievously near your heaving chests.

You grabbed his thick wrist, your fingers couldn’t even touch due to his width.

“I know what you’re doing, Ari,” you tutted at him, fixing him with your glare. “You’re seducing me.”

He smirked at you as he tilted his head, “That depends, darling. Are you seduced?”

Extremely.

Yet, what you did was push him away before walking to the water. You needed to cool yourself off. The water was to your chest when you turned around to further glare at Ari when you couldn’t see any trace of him. You roamed your eyes to the shore, looking for him. You would admit you were somehow displaced when you couldn’t see him. Your thoughts were running a mile a second because you weren’t a very good swimmer! What if he drowned? What if you could find him but couldn’t pull him up because of how heavy he was? You would forced him to lose his muscles once you saved him you swore to God. What if he-

You shrieked when you felt a hand gripped your ankle and before you knew it, Ari resurfaced with his laughters.

The two of you spent the afternoon like the old times, full of happiness and childlike teasings. You laughed more than you did for the past month. And he in turn looked like the Ari you knew, one that was full of good things in him.

It was hours later when you watched Ari humming as he set the table. You were almost certain that his love language was acts of service seeing as he always made sure you were taken care of by him. He smiled at you as your neared the table he set outside the house, one that was overlooking the ocean. The table was filled with candles, illuminating the delicious dishes he prepared for the dinner. You could hear the peaceful sounds of the ocean kissing the shore.

Ari was now wearing an unbuttoned white shirt, the hair on his chest peeking. He pulled the chair for you before telling you that you were the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. You felt your cheeks heating up. In return, you shrugged and told him that he was second to Glen Powell and Jungkook of BTS.

You hummed in appreciation once you took a bite of his food. He beamed in pride before digging on his own food. “You know, you could really open up your own restaurant.”

He chuckled, “I could, but it’s not my dream.”

“What, is your dream to wear suits all day and talk about portfolios and mergers and strategic alliances?”

He looked thoughtful for a moment, his eyes content as he looked at you. “This may seem like a cliche…but my dream is to be happy.”

“And are you?”

“I am now.”

|Last Chapter

[themultitalentedweirdo]

There were many times he wished he was as normal as the other hermits but, this surely wasn't one of them.

Ren opened his eyes to the blackness of the void for, according to his internal clock, Four weeks and three days. Thirty-one days in a vast sheet of nothingness. The D.O.G. quickly took note on how the void he currently was floating through was different that the void that The End inhabited.

The End void has some sort of suffocating pull to it where if one fell they were immediately sucked downwards. Downwards until it felt like you were frozen in some invisible heavy fluid that filled up your lungs making it impossible to breathe. This one? This one seemed to have no vaccum (as Doc called it). He just floated haphazardly and aimlessly in this vast sea of nothingness; minus the drowning.

Ren, now quite literally, having all the time in the world started to wonder if he could drown. In the void or the ocean. You see, Ren's not normal anymore (or as normal as anyone could be, he guesses). He's, under some weird category of circumstances, classified as a robot. He feels cyborg would be better seeing as he still had his flesh head, left arm, right leg, tail, and other. He also still had a few of his original bones intact as well.

He fliped himself onto his back and looked down at himself, rubbing his flesh hand over his (mostly) hollow interior. He remembered what X had told him, how important Ren was to the survival of the Hermits. He, Ren the D.O.G., were to hold the hermits until Xisuma could find a suitable new home for them all. What happened to the last one?

The void ate it.

He wasn't sure which, the great vaccum of the End or this hollow expansion of nothing. But, it was X, him, and Keralis who went to officially investigate the anomaly underneath where Grian, Mumbo, Scar, Pearl, and Impulse had just built their weird boat tower thing. Ren remembers the horrific scream X produced when the ground gave out from underneath him.

That's how they found it. Because it almost got rid of their colony leader. The sensors were only picking up the bulk of the mass and not the entirety of it. The rest of it spanned for miles as it rapidly ate the world from bedrock up.

The days that followed were of Xisuma and Doc rapidly installing something into the, then more hollow, inside of his abdomen cavity. Turns out, what they had installed was a stasis chamber of sorts. One slot for each hermit. To which then X lined each of them up and turned them into physical data cubes just big enough to be cupped in his hands.

Once it was just him and X, and each of his friends had been safely tucked away in stasis, X hugged him. Which, you might think that's not a big deal. But, you'd be wrong. Xisuma wasn't one for physical affection or, touch for that matter. So, to get a hug from him was a great honor.

Ren closed his eyes as he remembered the leaders final words before he had (quite literally) launched Ren out of the world and into the nothingness:

"Stay as safe as you can. Be as strong as you must. When I find us a home, I will then come find you. Never not be afraid."

Ren reopened his eyes with a soft smile. He trusted X, he'd make it right. Tilting his head back, Ren looked ahead with a sigh as a fan inside him whirred slightly faster. He hoped what ever was to come he could handle it. Here he was. He was ready.

Bring it on void.

-===-

Hi! I'm not new to Tumblr by no means, This is just my first post. Speaking of which, this story lines up with one of my two main Hermitcraft AUs called Lament of the Voids' Ferry. Where Ren is (more than partly) a robot who is tasked with keeping his friends safe while he's been shot off into the void(?) as X searches for a new home world. Along the way he ends up in different universes by accident and learning about a whole bunch of other hermits like him but very different at the same time. Hope you enjoyed the read and feel free to ask questions. I'll try my best to awnser.

[winter-turtle]

Drowning In The Whispers

“Okay, this isn’t working. Out with it; what’s wrong?”

Peter’s head snapped up, dropping the screwdriver he’s been using to push the screws around. The very same screws that have been scattered across his workstation for weeks now.

The very same screws that would’ve been long used in some project by now if his mentee would be all right.

But he wasn’t.

“Nothing’s wrong,” Peter said. “Everything is fine, Mr. Stark.”

“Kid, don’t lie to me. Is that Flash kid bothering you again? Because I meant what I said about you saying a word and I’ll deal with it.” Tony had promised himself to never act like Howard, but some stern talking never hurt anyone, right?

“What? No! Well, yeah… uh, I mean no!”  he sputtered, voice swinging between soft and loud before his shoulders fell. He hung his head down, his hair shadowing his eyes. “Please, Mr. Stark, don’t cause any scene.”

Tony put aside his own tools, and with concern in his eyes walked to the boy. He eased himself onto the stool next to Peter with a long exhale. “But something’s wrong, isn’t it?” Tony put his hand on Peter’s knee. “I can see it. You haven’t acted like yourself in months.”

It started slowly. First it was the occasional skipping of lab sessions with an excuse of needing to study. A few weeks later, an occasional missed meal joined the mix.

“You think you hide it well, but people who care notice.”

I notice.

The newest tell was the way his smile didn’t quite reach his eyes like it used to.

“Pete, I’m worried about you.”

Peter covering his face was his only response. The kid Tony thought of as incapable of shutting up was now dead silent.

And then…

“It’s so quiet,” Peter whispered.

Huh? “I’m… afraid I don’t follow,” Tony admitted. It was never quiet in the tower. Nor in the school or streets.

“My head is so quiet.” Inhale, exhale. “Th-there used to be countless voices coming up with this-and-that idea, bouncing it around until I barely could tell them apart from each other. You know, like during rush hour, when the crowd is just roaring all around you, threatening to swallow you, so you lock onto one person to stay grounded. But now… now it’s quiet. They are all gone. And I feel like I can’t do anything without them.” The hands fell from his face, revealing tears shimmering in his eyes. “I miss them, Mr. Stark. I miss those voices.”

Oh. So it wasn’t any physical threat. It was the invisible monster.

Those were harder to deal with. They never appear all at once, no. They start small, slowly but steadily growing stronger and stronger until they are strong enough to start taking things from you.

In Peter’s case, it took away his creativity.

It’s been one shitty situation after another – first the kid’s uncle, then the whole thing with Toomes, then “dying” for five years only to reappear in the middle of a battle and seeing Tony almost die. The latest shitty cherry on a shitty cake was Beck revealing Peter’s identity to the world, which lead to him and May living in the Tower.

Through all those times, the kid kept a smile on his face, maintaining in illusion of seemingly handling everything. Seemingly.

“Come here,” Tony said in a hushed tone, pulling Peter into a hug. “We’ll fix it, kid,” Tony pressed a kiss on Peter’s forehead as he sniffed, “you’ll be okay.”

Tony understood. There was nothing worse than your head suddenly going quiet. It feels like losing a part of yourself. In Tony’s case, he’d tried to drown out the silence by partying and doing reckless things.

In the end, with the help of people who were always in his corner, Tony overcame it. Now, it was Tony’s turn to help. He hugged his kid harder.

“I promise.”

Many people are dealing with invisible monsters that are slowly eating away at them because of the pressure placed on them in school, work, or family. Me included. You can see it in the drop of posts. I miss my creative voices, but they're slowly and steadily coming back.

All those demands can feel paralyzing to a point where you no longer enjoy your hobbies or… well, anything. But rest assured, no matter how you feel at the moment, there’s always a light at the end of the tunnel. Even if it seems impossible.

Keep fighting.

[soothingmind]

[At the end of everything, I find you, my friend] - Post 6.0, Pre 6.1.

(putting this onto here before i decide to change the lore for this again lmao)

------

The moon shone bright tonight.

Nimda couldn't sleep. She didn't want to turn over and over in her bed too much, fearing she might wake Alisaie in her bed opposite of the room. She sighed and pushed back her blanket, setting her feet on the ground. 

And immediately her gaze fell into the crystal lying beside her pillow, which was emitting such a faint glow Nimda could have sworn it was pulsating with energy. 

Ever since she came back that fateful day, ever since this crystal appeared in her hand it didn't leave her thoughts. It's been almost two weeks since they all came back from Ultima Thule and still, still she couldn't make sense of it. 

Where it came from, what it meant for her. 

Two weeks of confusion, light sleep, nightmares about what happened.

The others already moved onto their own new tasks, Alisaie and Alphinaud would follow tomorrow, traveling to Garlemald as they said they would.

And yet, meanwhile here she was, spending night after night at the Leveilleur residence to rest from all of this, while trying to make sense of what happened.

The memories were a blur. And no matter how much she tried to pick them back together, she was left with more confusion.

Once more she picked up the crystal, taking it in between her thumb and index and held it against the shining moon through the window. 

Once again, the faint memories came back. 

“Is that not so, adventurer?” 

Zenos's voice barely reached her ears. All she wanted was to walk away, right here and now, leaving him here. And yet, and yet …

I don't remember my answer. What did I say to him that he initiated a battle?

His gleeful expression made her blood boil. She didn't want this. If I don't fight back, then … 

“Enough of this. I'm the one you want.” 

Huh?

Her body moved on its own accord, words said without her voice nor mouth. But they had to come from her, she motioned into his direction, hand extended, head moving.

“Leave her alone and face me, coward.”

… Sigurd? No … 

All but physically she fell to her knees, her sight too blurry to make anything out, her hands digging into nothingness on the ground. But nothing had changed. She still stood there, eyes not leaving Zenos who watched her with intense gaze, ever hungry for whatever battle he strove for. 

“Nimda.” A comforting, warm touch reached her shoulder.

She whipped her head around to see where the voice and touch was coming from, but again there was only emptiness. She never moved at all. Her heart started to race, her breath quickened -

What is the meaning of this?

“... take a step back, I’ll handle this.” 

She knew this voice. She knew. For so long she imagined hearing it again. Years. It's been so many years. 

Weakly, shaking she reached out to the silhouette forming in front of her, bathed in a warmth of light that wrapped her in comfort. Even with a scythe in hand she recognized him. 

With a hand on the tip of his hat he looked over his shoulder to her, smiling. 

Her entire journey started because of the search for him. And now, at the end of everything, he was there.

Was he? 

Again. Nothing had changed. Zenos still stood in front of her, waiting.

She wanted to call out to him, finally, finally, after all this time she saw him  - gripping her head at the sudden cold pain washing over her, she fell onto the ground, no word left her as the exhaustion took a hold of her and her sight went black, her body falling into nothingness.

____

“Nimda?” A small light whirred to life as Alisaie tapped onto it on her bedside table. “Oh hells…” 

Nimda's eyes were still fixated onto the crystal in her hand, not realizing she grabbed tight onto her wrist to prevent it from shaking, having her whole body taking full force from it. Alisaie stumbled out of her bed and walked over to Nimda's side, kneeling in front of her as she didn't react to anything around her.

“Hey.” She took a hold of her shaking hand, cupping into her own. “It’s okay.” 

The touch finally broke her out of the trance she seemed to be in, her eyes finding Alisaie's concerned ones in front of her. She closed the hand with the crystal inside, letting out a deep breath as she closed her eyes.

“I …” 

Before she knew it she had a blanket wrapped around her shoulders. Alisaie carefully rubbed over her and the comfort immediately took hold. 

“There. Better, right?”

The shivering lessened and Nimda nodded. “... Thank you, yes.” 

Silence filled the room. While physically she felt better already, Nimda's thoughts never stopped running. Over and over she played this scene in her head, trying to find just any clue, any hint she missed.

“I still … I still don't know what happened. Not entirely, at least.” She started, Alisaie beside her listened, alerted. “I know that Zenos is dead, … after we fought. I think. He was there, I was there, but everything in between, I just …” 

She shook her head, rubbing over her face with a deep exhale. “Just … fuzzy memories.” 

Setting her feet on the ground like Nimda, Alisaie hummed beside her, hands in her lap. 

“You said you saw your father there, right? With a scythe.”

“Mhm.”

“So then … like Zenos.”

“I know, right?” Nimda opened her fist again, the crystal sitting there with a very faint glow. “This is the only hint I have. The one clue he gave me … I guess.” 

“But a hint nonetheless. It's finally a start.” 

Nimda nodded. “And I will find someone who can tell me about this crystal. Someone out there has to know. And then, maybe, I can make sense of this.”

“Are you really sure you want to do this alone?” Alisaie fumbled slightly with her hands, looking at her. “I can tell Alphinaud I'll follow later, he'll understand.” 

“No, please.” Nimda slightly shifted to her. “He needs you there in Garlemald. And, besides, maybe you can keep your eyes and ears open there to help me in this search.” 

Defeated she sighed, laying the side of her head on Nimda's shoulder. “Alright, fine. Convinced.”

A small chuckle left her, but it came from the heart. 

“Thank you, Alisaie.” 

With a smile Nimda leaned her head against hers, simply appreciating this quiet moment of the night. 

[exhalcdvibes]

official  name  : augustus  eric  grey .    meaning  of  name  :  of  latin  origin  meaning   ‘venerable‘  accorded  a  great  deal  of  respect ;  of  norse  origin  meaning  forever  ruler.  nicknames  :  auggie.  date  of  birth  :  july  1, 1993.  age  :  twenty  nine.  birthplace  :   detriot,   michigan.  hometown  :  bellevue,  washington  .  nationality  :  american.  gender  :  cis  man.  pronouns  :  he/him.  orientation  :  bisexual  &  biromantic.  religion  :  atheist.  languages  :  spanish,   korean,  mandarin,   french,  english  &   conversational  sweedish.  education  :  bachelor  in  energy engineering  from  princeton  university ,  masters  in  business from  princeton  university  . 

｡*    ❪       📂   ›  BASICS

(—) ★ spotted!! auggie grey on the cover of this week’s most recent tabloid! many say that the 29 year old looks like charles melton, but i don’t really see it. while  the energy engineer / socialite is known for being loving my inside sources say that they have a tendency to be vain i swear, every time i think of them, i hear the song head & heart by joel corry & MNEK  {he/him / cis man }

｡*    ❪       📂   ›  BACKSTORY

auggie was born to a teen mother who thought she could handle raising him. she placed him up for adoption after three months when she realized it was too much. this was the beginning of auggie being bounced from place to place.

originally he was being fostered by a really sweet old couple, the dad was a professor who taught auggie all about language eventually the two moved to korea for his career which meant auggie had to go back into foster care.

( physical abuse tw ) his second family was less well natured, they beat into him obedience, he learned rather quickly to do what he was told to avoid being physically punished. needless to say he was happy when the couple decided they didn’t want him anymore and placed him back in foster care.

atticus grey never intending to be a father, hell he was never intending to be a husband but he fell in love with his assistant anna. he was ( and still is ) willing to do anything to make her happy, including having a child.

orion, while the apple of his parents eye, spent all his time alone at around five he asked his parents for a brother. never one to deny their son something he wanted they started fostering children in the hopes of finding a good fit for orion.

when auggie arrived he was a bit of a little shit with a bunch of behavioral issues, he gave his parents all kinds of grief, hiding from them, taking their stuff, once he flushed a diamond broach down the toilet to see what’d they do

he kind of just assumed they’d eventually give him back like everyone else. the only person he really spoke to was orion and even then it was usually to bully his new sibling.

as he got older and auggie realized he wasn’t going to get sent away he calmed down…slightly. turning his anger into determination to be the best, he essentially crafted himself to be a mini version of his father

auggie is extremely close to his father because well, orion is nothing like him, he likes that auggie would basically do anything to make the man proud

｡*    ❪       📂   › EMOTIONAL STATE

has a very explosive temper, it’s really not hard to make him mad, he has the type of rage that has led him to almost going to jail after beating someone nearly to death

doesn’t know how to express himself so he tends to be sarcastic by default, most times he is giving you an honest answer, it’s just said in a very sarcastic manner

he is a shameless flirt but has never had any interest in being in a committed relationship, he’s cheated on every partner he’s ever had, ever

will lie to you if it’s easier for him or to get what he wants out of you  

incredibly intelligent but has always had to work hard for it, school does not come easy to him, he’s just the type of person to work himself into the ground for the grade he wants

extremely prideful, has gotten into fights because of his ego being wounded

a bit manipulative, will lie, cheat, steal and do whatever is necessary to get what he wants

annoyingly nice at times, but like with most things, it’s usually a performance there are very few people who actually know auggie at all

｡*    ❪       📂   › QUICK FACTS

auggie is the golden child, since orion wants nothing to do with the family business and auggie is literally a mini version of his daddy, atticus just…loves him more

atticus grey owns the biggest energy provider in all of the united states, he wanted orion to take over the family business but he was less than interested so he’s been priming auggie to take over. currently he’s avoiding as much responsibility as he possibly can but he knows he’ll have to step up at some point.

always wanted a pet but was never allowed one, probably for the best he wouldn’t know how to take care of it

doesn’t know how to take care of himself at all, he’s always paid someone to do everything for him, catch him walking around in a weird off pink bc he ruined all his laundry trying to do it himself

hates cats, he got scratched by one as a kid and has hated all of them since

did ballet until he was in high school so he’s actually a very good dance but he will do the whole teach me to dance thing just to feel you up

has an unnatural love for mcdonalds, is still mad he can’t get on the playground anymore without getting yelled at 

[mrs-falcon]

Unjustified punishment [SotRW]

[WARINING: following story contains cursing, character's trauma, mental and physical abuse and blood mention]

I can't believe it... I can't believe it! Heavy rain was falling on the roads, the raindrops were so heavy that the drumming drowned the roaring cars out in this city. I can't believe it! Heavy rain was falling down, down on the road, down on the damaged soul. The water ran from the young cat's fur like a waterfall. She did not care she got soaked in the rain. Suddenly, a loud cry broke the rain drumming. Why?! WHY?! The girl curled up on the black road, ignoring the lakes the rain made on the ground around her. The lamentations didn't fade. The young cat started shaking and catching her breath as if she was smothering.

Why? Why did you leave me?! Her face once again met the gray sky, her tears running down her cheeks along with the raindrops. Her soul was broken, she could not move, nor scream the words. She only kept on heavy breathing and staring into the sky where the plane with her sister disappeared. Why did you leave? What did I do wrong? The cat kept asking herself over and over again. Why did her kind sister leave her here? Was she planning to get rid of her younger sibling this whole time? A sharp whistling woke her up. Couple of men shouted at her, but she couldn't hear their voices. Raven clumsily stood up and ran away from this airport. She had no idea where she was running, but she had to run. She wanted to run. The young cat felt like a ghost in these streets - nobody asked her what happened, nor they even noticed her. Her breathing got heavier and she started to panic. Dear God, what am I supposed to do?! the cat thought to herself. Then the cries stopped, so did she. What God..? the young girl thought to herself. They left me... They all left me...

Raven gasped as she woke up. She found herself breathing heavily, eyes filled with tears. The she-cat turned her head from side to side. Relieve swallowed her after she realised she was home. In my true home. Raven covered her face for a while, then giggled a little. "That was an awful dream!" The she-cat started laughing quietly. "I must tell this ridiculous dream to my mum." Raven jumped out of her bed and headed to the massive oak doors. As she opened them, shock made her freeze. There was no hall, no walls. Darkness swallowed her home. Raven looked on the right, then on the left. It was all black. And cold. A cold breeze run through her hair. She immediately closed the door. Her heartbeat sped up and her breathing was heavy again. There was this strange pressure on her chest, as if someone was tying you up as long until you could feel your ribs at the edge of breaking point. The cat had to take her hands off the massive doors. They became unbearably cold, so cold it hurt to touch them. Raven stepped away from them. The whole room became cold and grey, a mist got out of the she-cat's mouth as she was breathing.

A very faint sound of footsteps echoed behind the doors. Raven held her breath. Silence. Nothing. The girl rose her shaking hand and reached for the icy handle. She hesitated for a while, but her curiosity won. The door cracked open in the first place. "Father..?" she whispered. The silhouette didn't answer. A moment later it started to turn its head toward Raven. She felt something strange. Something wasn't right. Before the silhouette, seemingly resembling her father, could face the she-cat, Raven slammed the door. There was a long silence. But before she could feel relieved, an unexpectable banging almost broke down the door. Raven was in such shock she fell on the ground and couldn't do anything except staring in fear at the doors. "RAVEN!" a loud shouting sounded from behind the doors. Raven covered her mouth in fear. M-mother? The banging kept going on. "OPEN THE FUCKING DOOR!" It sounded the doors will fall apart in any second. "YOU UNBEARABLE BRAT! I ASKED YOU TO ACHIEVE ONE THING IN YOUR MISERABLE LIFE AND YOU FAILED?!" The angry voices were changing, it almost sounded like both of her parents were shouting through the door. Raven's eyes filed with tears. "Such a disappoitment. YOU. DISGUST. ME." "No!" the girl screamed in shock and grabbed the door handle. But as she opened the doors, there was nothing, only darkness. The cat stumbled and she fell into the endless black space. Her head was dizzy, but not from falling, she was dizzy from her memories. None of that truly happened, but it felt like it did.

A muddy ground softened Raven's fall. She was glad she fell into something softer... but not for long. A terrifying barking echoed from behind and Raven knew who that was. She tried to get out of that sticky mud, but her legs couldn't work. As the barking got closer and closer, Raven's panicking started to escalate. But a while after she struggled to get up, she noticed some weird limbs were dragging her down. Then another hand slid out of the mud and grabbed Raven by her muzzle. The ground disappeared and the mud started to devour the young cat. The darkness covered her eyes and filled her throat, disabling her to make any sound at all. The cat couldn't see a thing, but she started to feel. She felt the mud bursting out of her throat, tearing her stomach up, and knives cutting her hands. Raven opened her eyes wide in horror to see the street rats beating her fragile body. An incredible pain ran through the cat's head as the rats tore away her ear and scratched her face.

"Stop!" Raven started to scream at the top of her lungs. "Please, stop!" she kept on screaming and throwing her arms about. But the pain was endless.

Vincent was boiling water for his chinese sup as usual, but suddenly a loud screaming made him spin around in fright for the beaten kid. "Stop!" The wolf left all the work and dashed into the room where the poor girl was fighting her vivid nightmares. Without hesitating, Vincent got to the terrified girl and tried to wake her up. "C'mon, kid. It's just a dream, it's fine," but the girl kept on shaking and throwing her arms about, still thinking the nightmare was real. Vincent grabbed her arms tightly. "Wake. Up." "The she-cat finally opened her eyes, but soon Vincent realized she was not awake at all. For a while the girl froze, but then she started screaming again, her eyes filled with horror and tears. "Stop it! Please... Stop!" "Calm down!" the wolf tried to reasure her. "It's just a dream," he said with quiet deep voice, but the girl was still living her nightmare. "I'm sorry..." her screams slowly turned into cries. "I'm sorry I'm not good enough... I'm sorry..." mumbled the young cat quietly and stared weeping. Vincent slowly reached out his hand toward the terified kid. "It's okay..." said the wolf with soothing voice. "It's not your fault. It's gonna be okay..." The wolf held the she-cat in his arms, who seemed to fall asleep again. He caressed the girl's hair few more times before he put the girl back into the bed. The wolf covered the she-cat with blanket, then he stared at her for a while. Vincent sighed tiridly. What kind of life did you have, kid... thought the wolf ruefully.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

Curiosity killed the cat.

This chapter does not really fit the storyline, it was mostly a vent writing.

This story fits somewhere between "First talk" and "She's not only missing" chapters.

Read the first chapter: "Unexpected savior"

Drawings, characters, story & "Shadows of the Real World" universe © MrsFalcon (FalconFeatherTheCat) (me)

[soir-rouges-esprit]

xxvii.d: Soul Quench, “YOU GUESS!?” ... please … guys … can we not do this here in the damn parking lot, we are in the middle of the street for god's sake, at least go to the car. “Fine!” they said in unison while both grabbing the handles of my wheelchair. “I can push him, you don’t even know where I parked so buck off punk!” “I don’t NEED To know where your car is, because he is coming with me goddam it.” “WHAT!?! Like hell he is I got a place all set up for him and everything! Laid out blankets and made the bed, he is to stay with Me!” “What fucking place!? You don’t even live here anymore? Douchebag!!!” “I moved back temporarily, THANK YOU!!! … It’s with a friend of a friend … they’re offering a place to stay for the both of us until he’s all better and able to get around on his own.” “What fucking friend of a friend? You mean one of your methy drug dealer friends? Maybe one of the guys who jumped him not long ago?” “KIND OF!!!! … I ditched that guy thank you btw, me and Red kicked his ass in case you were kept out of the loop BY THE WAY; She! Is a nice chick that I met leaving rehab, and she is a saint, works with that church down the street from Camen St.” “So a sex house for cripple here to sit in the corner and watch/listen to you defile another poor girl with your rotten presence, while being neglected … great! … Yeah not gonna fuckin happen” She grabbed his handle and pulled his hand off, while shoving him aggressively out of the way, and said. “He needs a safe and controlled environment … not to mention a CLEAN ONE … and anywhere with you in it, is immediately a public safety hazard” She started to wheel me off in the other direction. Then The Jester ran over and pushed her out of the way grabbed the handles and started to wheel me off in to the original direction. “Funny! You say something about defiling someone … CONSIDERING THAT’S ALL YOU PLAN TO DO WITH OH SO BENT LEGS HERE!!!” guys please “*THWACK* *WACK*” The Jester shielded himself with his arm while sprinting pushing me along with him towards his car “GET THE FUCK AWAY YOU DAMN SUCCUBUS WHORE!!!” “ERRRRRHA *CRACK*” The book she was using as a weapon splits into two, partially landing in my lap. The Jester turned around in anger swiftly, and kicked her in the ankle. She fell to the ground landing flat on her stomach and hands pretty hard, He laughed maniacally … Then The Jester grabbed my chair once more and raced off towards his car into the parking complex … as we raced off, I leaned over my armrest and looked fully back at her, she was head to the ground … then … she raised slowly off the ground as we got further away … her face facing the ground slowly raised up towards us … and then … I seen the look of the She-Devil her eyes glowing once more in a reddish hue … she lifted her self partially up and into a sprinters stance, then … BOOM … She blasted off in a full sprint towards us. If there was one thing to be said about M from years of knowing her, it’s that her physical strength, was great … her speed … unmatched; she was basically a bullet train off the tracks and on legs, nothing could stop her either, her force was almost comic book superhero status, it was just bizarre … it was … downright terrifying. So as I’m leaning over the armrest, and watching the ballistic missile close in on our position, I say. Oh god J … I always knew you’d be the reason I died in some strange and fucked up way *sigh* “WERE NOT DYING HERE!!! HAHA THE THUNDER BOYS ARE STRIKING FASTER THAN LIGHTNING!!!” Then … I noticed first that M was not in the background … then I noticed … she was opposite of my armrest about three feet away, staring straight at The Jester, with pure Hell in her eyes … then she lurched back, and bolted in, tackling The Jester to the ground, sending my chair wheeling off with no one to steer, I grab the speeding wheels lightly to slow my self, I slightly steer off into a nearby car … bashing into the back right tail-light, cracking the casing ... [To Be Continued]

[waka-chan-out]

Ache

timeskip college au.

word count: 1.6k

content warnings: gn!reader, established (but very new!) relationship, chronic pain, lots of medication, technically hurt/sick comfort, first kisses, aran is the best boyfriend there could ever be

I wrote this with my migraines in mind, but I tried to not be too specific so my other chronic pain-havers would feel the love. It won’t apply perfectly to everyone (hell, it doesn’t even apply perfectly to me) but I hope you enjoy.

• • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • •

The chalky taste of medication lingered on your lips the first time you kissed Aran. It was frustrating. You wanted nothing more than to just sit in the campus library and watch him color code his notecards, laughing when he asked you to help him with his occasional spelling errors. Instead you sat distracted, trying and failing to shake away the ache that had settled into your body.

The lights in the building were automatic and most had long since flipped off. Your room was still bright, but it was only because of Aran. The two times the lights had turned off, he had handled it. The first time he hopped up and waved at the sensors, yelling to try and get its attention as he did so. He tried the same trick again the second time, but it didn’t work. He tried to trigger it by walking across the room, but he rammed his hip into a taller desk and fell. He stayed on the ground as the lights thunked back to life, laughing but covering his face with embarrassment.

You laughed along with him, but you couldn’t bring yourself to stand and help him back to his feet. You hurt.

It was getting hard to concentrate on anything besides the ache. It was distracting, almost blindingly so. You needed your medication, but your water bottle had long since been emptied and the idea of swallowing dry made you feel nauseous.

“Hey.”

Aran’s voice was gentle, unassuming. Genuine. You turned to face him and he was already staring, brows heavy with concern.

“Are you okay?” he asked. You hesitated before answering. You didn’t want to lie to him, but telling people that your body enjoyed rebelling against you, making just the act of being conscious feel like a toll, was awful. You had told yourself time and time again that it was okay, that people would understand, but every time you had to turn down friends and family in favor of lying in the dark wishing you worked right you just felt . . . sad. Pathetic, maybe. Inconvenient.

“Yeah,” you said, and had to immediately clear your throat. “I’m fine.” Your voice didn’t carry the confidence it needed, but it was better than nothing. You tried to play it off and look back down at your notes, but the scribbled words wouldn’t register in your head. Distraction. Pain pulled you away from the things that were normal. The things that mattered.

“Nah, look at me.” Aran took a gentle hold of your chin and tipped your gaze back toward him. You tried to protest as his eyes searched your face.

“You look uncomfortable,” he said, then quickly pulled away. “Did I do something?”

“No! God no. You’re fine.” You tried to laugh it off, but it didn’t come out as convincing as you would have liked.

“Then what’s wrong?”

“Nothing, Aran. Do you want to finish up soon?”

“Hey.” His voice was cutting. He dipped his head down to try to catch your eye and you couldn’t help the small smile that came to your lips. “You look miserable right now.”

“Do I?”

“Absolutely. Lookin’ at me like you’re about to tip over.”

“I promise it’s not your fault.”

“I figured, but I had to make sure. What’s up then? If we wanna keep studying, I need your full attention.” He poked at your head and you squeezed your eyes shut. “And I get the feeling that’s not possible right now.”

You took a deep breath.

“I just . . . hurt. Physically. All the time. It’s on and off, but it’s pretty frequent.”

“You’re in pain right now and you didn’t wanna tell me?”

You didn’t respond. He rubbed your back in a gentle circle.

“Why not?” he asked

“It’s just annoying. For me and everyone else, I’m sure.”

“I’m not annoyed.”

You huffed and leaned against him. He pulled you closer against his chest. He was so warm and smelled so good. You folded your arms across your chest and tried to take a deep breath, but it shook on the way out. When did you start crying?

“I appreciate you wanting to look out for me,” he said. “Truly, I do. But—” He leaned close and pressed a kiss to the side of your head. “I care more about you staying safe and happy than I do anything else. So if you’re ever not those things, I want to know so I can try to help.” He kept his face close to yours. “Now what can I do for you? Does medication help? Do you need a massage? I’ve probably got some Icy Hot. I don’t know if that’d help you.”

You let out a breathy laugh and sat up.

“I have meds,” you said, wiping at your eyes. “I’m just out of stuff to take them with.”

“You mean like a drink? Or do you need a snack with it?”

“Usually just water is fine.”

Aran immediately dug into his bag and hopped out of his chair.

“What are you doing?” you asked. He stretched and you realized he was holding his wallet.

“There are a few vending machines around the corner. Are you okay alone for a minute?”

“Aran, you don’t have to—”

“I know I don’t have to. Are you gonna be okay?”

You smiled.

“Yes, Aran. I’ll survive two minutes without you.”

“Promise?”

“I promise.”

“I’ll be right back.”

He pressed another quick kiss to the top of your head and left the room. You let out a deep breath and tried to look back at your work. You were still in pain, so it was hard to really zero in on anything. Out of the corner of your eye, you saw his phone light up. You didn’t read the message he received, but his background caught your eye. It was a picture a friend of yours had taken after one of his volleyball games. He had hit the final shot to win the game and as soon as his team released him he came sprinting over to you, throwing his arms around you and nearly knocking you to the ground. You were laughing and he buried his grinning face into your neck as the camera clicked, capturing that moment of sheer, unadulterated joy. You didn’t know how he got ahold of the picture, but there it was, staring at you, and you suddenly felt the urge to cry again. He was so good. Better than you ever thought you deserved.

“You still alive in here?”

You turned to face him, unable to keep a smile off your face.

“I lived. Aren’t you proud of me?”

“I’m shocked and delighted.” He plopped down next to you and set his winnings on the table: a plain bottle of water, juice, soda, and a small bag of chips.

“Aran, all I needed was water.”

“I figured that’d get boring. I’ll take care of your scraps, don’t worry. Take whatever you want.” He shoved his wallet back into his bag and smiled in satisfaction as you reached for the juice. Your medication sat right at the top of your bag. You did your best to shake what you needed into your hand without him seeing, but he was too quick.

“Gosh, those look awful to swallow,” he said. His eyebrows had returned to a worried position.

“You get used to them,” you said, knowing full well it could still be really unpleasant sometimes. You tipped your head back and threw back the juice and pill as fast as you could, trying to avoid thinking about the awful texture. A bit of it lingered in your mouth anyway, reminding you that every bit of this process would always be unpleasant. Aran watched you silently, then leaned over and kissed your temple as you were screwing the cap back on the bottle.

“Stop that,” you said, suddenly frustrated.

“Stop what?”

“Stop with the head kisses.”

Aran immediately straightened up.

“Shit, I’m sorry. I just wanted to comfort you and that seemed like the best—”

You tugged on his shirt and his words died out and his eyes blew wide as he was forced to lean forward. He let out a shaky breath and opened his mouth to talk, but immediately shut it as you cupped his face in your hand and pressed your lips to his.

He was warm but his body was frozen like he was buffering. You pulled back just slightly, meaning to check on him. Before you could get a good look at his face, he took your face in his hands and stopped you. You felt him grin against your lips before pressing back into you. He was gentle but eager, so soft as your hands found leverage on his thighs. There was no hurry to the kiss, nothing desperate. Just satisfaction and a hint of that same joy you saw on his phone screen. He was so good, and he was willing to give all that good to you. Maybe that meant you were good, too.

He pulled back just far enough to lean his forehead against yours.

“I’ve been wanting to do that,” he said, voice laced with a shaky laugh. “Just didn’t want to push anything.”

You smiled and pressed a quick kiss to the corner of his mouth before burying yourself against his neck.

“Hence the head kisses?” you asked.

He hummed in amusement. You could feel the vibrations against your cheek. He pressed his lips against your hair.

“Hence the head kisses.”

You stayed cuddled against him. He was sitting at an awkward angle to keep you comfortable, but when you tried to readjust he just held you tighter. He couldn’t squeeze away the pain, but the rise and fall of his chest, the reassuring arms wrapping around you made the ache feel manageable.

• • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • •

aran birthday tag list: @kyosmommy @zbops @tanzaniiite @mysticmessofcrap @depressed-bisexual-disaster @teasingly-diverse

[mca-attack21]

Semi-Flayed

Steve Harrington x Reader. Season 3 finale spoilers.

The floor was cold, the atmosphere chaotic. The screams of your friends were drowned out by the fireworks and snarls of the mindflayer. Despite the noise, you clearly heard Billy, or the Mindflayer rather, whisper, “Stay still, it will all be over soon," his words sent ice through your veins. You struggled against his grasp, but it was no use. Realizing the imminence of your demise, you felt an overwhelming sadness, not even for yourself, but for Steve Harrington, the first and apparently last love of your life. As the “flaying” began, he was the only thing on your mind. You hoped that he would survive this, that he would get out of Hawkins, that he would be happy. You hoped-

“Y/N!” Steve screamed as he blew his cover to run to your side.

This caught the attention of Eleven, who managed to use her powers to throw Billy away from you. She fell back against Mike. The rest of the kids were still blasting the mind flayer with fireworks. Steve used the opportunity to pick you up and carry you away from the action.

“Y/n? Can you hear me? You gotta wake up okay? I did not survive being tortured by Russians only to have you be flayed before I could even-” his voice broke, and before he could continue, he was rounding the corner to where Dustin was.

“Shit. Is she okay?”

“I don’t know. Billy - the mind flayer- how do we know if she? What if she was?” Steve tried, but his heart couldn’t even handle the idea of you being lost to him.

“She wasn’t flayed.”

“How do you know?” Steve asked reluctant to be relieved.

“The hive mind is activated, she would be awake and trying to kill us if she was,” Dustin explained.

“Then why isn’t she waking up?”

“I don’t know Steve, but we have bigger problems right now,” he said gesturing to the fact that they were almost out of Fireworks.

Steve hesitantly left your side to help the others and watched in absolute shock as Billy sacrificed himself. It was only moments later that the mind flayer collapsed. It was over. Jonathan hugged Nancy, Mike went to Eleven, Lucas held Max as she cried, and both Steve and Dustin turned towards you.

“Y/n wake up!” Steve tried shaking your shoulders. He lowered his head to your chest to hear your heart beating and feel your breathing, “Y/n, c’mon, I need you to wake up,” he tried again, sounding more desperate.

Before he could continue, the FBI came running in and they were all escorted out. Steve barely managed to convince the EMT to let him ride with you. He was stuck in the waiting room for what seemed like forever, shrugging off the nurses who offered to check out his injuries. Dustin, Mike, Nancy, and Jonathon came in, gathering in silence waiting for any news. The worst part for Steve was when your mother showed up, he had never felt more guilty than when he lied to her about what happened.

Eventually, the doctor came out with a flustered look on his face. He asked for your mom, and Steve quickly stood to join them. The doctor protested, but your mom assured him that Steve should come with her.

“So, I don’t know how to tell you this, but as far as we can tell there is nothing physically wrong with your daughter. She is seemingly in a coma with no cause. As such, there is nothing medically we can do other than sustain her condition if you choose to do so,” he then turned to Steve, “Can you run me through what happened again?” Steve managed to recount his story, trying to ignore your mother's sobs. As soon as he finished, he exited the room in shock, he sunk down to the floor, struggling to breathe, replaying the doctor's words over and over again in his head. His chest was filled with immense pain at the thought of losing you.

He sat there a while trying to calm himself down before forcing himself off the wall and back to the waiting room, where Will, Mrs. Byers, and Eleven had joined the others. All eyes went to him expectantly, but with one look at him Dustin said what they were all thinking, “Shit..."

Steve repeated what the doctor had said, Nancy pulled him into a comforting hug. While the others started brainstorming. There was an hour of outrageous theories until finally, Will realized something, “She wasn’t completely flayed, but the process was definitely initiated.”

“Obviously,” Dustin chimed in.

“But what is flaying? It’s like your identity being ripped away from you and replaced with the host mentality,” Will continued.

“So maybe Y/n’s soul or whatever was separated. Nothing medically wrong with her, because that’s not a physical connection” Mike added.

“So in other words, we have to jumpstart the connection again,” Lucas agreed, and then all eyes shifted to El.

“Do you think you could try to find her? Like you did Billy or Heather?” Mike asked.

“I can try,” El nodded.

Dustin walked over to where Steve was laying with his head in Mrs. Byers' lap. She ran her fingers through his hair like she had for her sons so many times, mind wandering to Hopper. Steve looked so broke, like he had given up any hope.

“We need to get into Y/n’s room, we think we know how to fix her,” Dustin announced.

It was like that swiped a switch in Steve, and he popped up at once, “What do you mean?”

Dustin explained everything to Steve and Mrs. Byers, and then again in layman's terms. From there the whole group formed a plan. Mrs. Byers and Nancy would go distract your mom. Dustin, Mike, and Will would distract the nurses. Steve and El would sneak into your room, while Jonathon kept watch. For once, everything went smoothly.

El was searching the cabinets for something to cover her eyes with, and Steve handed her the red ascot from his Scoops uniform. She went to your side and took your hand, instantly being transported into your consciousness.

It was dark, unlike anything she had ever experienced before. Every step she took was echoing, the entire reality was glitching in and out, but there was no sign of you.

“Y/n?” she called out.

The blackness would flash to a scene of you and then back to the nothingness, “Y/n, can you hear me?” El tried again, “I need you to focus on my voice, and I can bring you back. I’ll bring you back home, back to Steve.”

At the mention of Steve, the glitching stopped and El could see you know for the first time, you laid on the ground folded into yourself. You were pale and shaking, looking only a moment away from death. As she got closer she could hear you softly repeating, “Please don't, I'm sorry.” There was no indication that you knew she was there. She touched you lightly on the shoulder, but it didn’t phase you.

“Y/n? We need to get out of here, I need your help,” she tried, again receiving no response. The glitching started again, each time putting more and more distance between the two of you. El knew that you wouldn’t survive it much longer.

In the hospital room, Steve watched as blood trickled down Eleven’s face. He didn’t know why it was taking so long. He tried to get an idea of what was happening through the one-sided conversation that he was hearing, but even that was being drowned out by his fear of losing you, What if this didn’t work? The lights started flickering, the machines in the room going nuts, and then suddenly Eleven called his name, “I need you to talk to her, to bring her back.”

“What does that even mean?”

“Steve, we don't have time, just talk to her!”

“Okay….Uhm...Y/n? It’s Steve. Your boyfriend,” he started, feeling extremely uncomfortable, before his emotions took over. “I’m sorry that I wasn’t there to protect you. I’m here now though, and I need you to come back to me. I need you to wake up, cause you are the best thing that has ever happened to me and I don’t want to lose you. Not now, not ever. Please Y/n. I love you so much, please wake up." As he finished, everything went black, the entire hospital lost power.

In your head, every nightmare you had ever had was playing through your mind. You were cold and afraid, feeling lost beyond anything you have ever felt. Whatever was happening to you it was killing you, you could feel it draining you. A strange numbness started to overtake you. You weren’t giving up, you were running out of fight. Just as you were trying to prepare yourself for whatever would come next, you heard a familiar voice, “Okay….Uhm...Y/n? It’s Steve. Your boyfriend.” Hearing his voice made everything stop. A warmth filled you, and you forced your eyes open, seeing Eleven.

"El?" you asked weakly.

“You’re going to be fine, I’m here,” she reassured, moving towards you and taking your hand.

The next thing you remember was hearing Steve’s voice, “Are you okay?” he asked, you forced your eyes open to see who he was talking to.

“I’ll be fine,” Eleven reassured him, wiping her nose.

“Everything was going crazy in here and then the power went out...Is she okay now?"

Suddenly Eleven’s face lit up, “Why don’t you ask her yourself?”

You had never seen Steve turn around so quickly in his life, a wide smile on his face as he practically dove onto your bed holding you like his life depended on it. “Nice to see you too,” you laughed. God did he love that laugh, and that smile, and you.

“I am so glad that you are okay,” he sighed, allowing himself to relax a little for the first time since he had found out about the Russian code from Dustin.

“Are you okay?” you asked running your finger lightly across his cheek. His eye was swollen and undoubtedly painful. His lip was busted and his nose was also bruised and swollen. In other words, he looked like he got into a fight with his hands tied behind his back.

He put his hand over yours and pulled it down to his chest over his heart as he had done so many times before, “It’s worse than it looks, I promise. I’m just glad you're okay.”

You were going to ask him what happened but were interrupted by the kids coming in excitedly. They were vividly telling you everything that happened after you were “Semi-flayed” as Will had coined it. You listened to every word, happy to know that it was all over. Their commotion gained the attention of the nurse, who proceeded to kick everyone out. Well, everyone but Steve who was practically glued to your side.

She went back to find the doctor and notify your mother, promising to bring back the ice that you requested for Steve’s eye. There were more happy reunions, followed by another round of tests, and finally, you were discharged. Joyce took Will, Jonathan, Dustin, and Lucas home. Nancy took Mike and Eleven back to her house. Your mom went back to your house and you went with Steve to his.

You both were exhausted but found it hard to sleep.

“What happens now?” you asked innocently.

“What do you mean?”

“How do we move forward from this? I mean nothing can ever really be the same can it?”

Steve thought for a moment, “I think we grieve and heal, then we start looking for the little victories again until this is nothing more than a memory.”

You nodded, “I love you, Steve Harrington,” you spoke softly.

You missed the grin that spread across his face before he kissed your forehead, “I love you too.”

You laid like that for a while, it didn’t take Steve long to fall asleep. You thought about what he said. Tomorrow would be hard, and the day after that too, but eventually your life would become some type of normal again. You shifted to look at his face, careful not to wake him. You felt a sense of relief, knowing that as long as the two of you had each other, you could work through the rest.

[falcqns]

You’re Worth It

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x College Student!Reader

Summary: You visit Bucky’s apartment for the first time, and assure him that he's worth so much more than he thinks. 

Warnings: SMUT! age gap but its legal, very insecure Bucky, oral (f receiving).

A/N: Hope you enjoy!

You stood outside Bucky’s apartment door, watching your boyfriend dig his keys out of his skinny jeans, his other hand on a bag of groceries that contained your soon-to-be dinner. He pulled them out and located the door key, before turning to you. “Are you sure you want to stay here tonight, doll? I’m more than okay staying at your apartment.” He said, his eyes not leaving the ground in front of him.

You smiled, and placed your backpack on the ground beside you before turning and grabbing his stubbly face in your hands. “Baby. I want to stay here with you. I don’t care what it looks like. Whether it’s dirty or clean, the cutest apartment in the world, or the ugliest. It’s yours, and I want to see it.” You said, and he smiled before nodding. “Okay.” He said. He put the key in the door, and unlocked it. You followed him into the small apartment, and was immediately surrounded by the smell that was undeniably Bucky. 

You loved the way he smelled, you always had. He smelled like a field of lavender flowers on a beach, with a hint of salt water. He dropped his keys on the table, and turned around to face you. You placed your backpack on the floor again, this time by the table and looked around. There wasn't much, but he had a small chair and a side table, and a small tv stand where his tv sat. There was a chair in the corner by the kitchen island, and that was it. Your eyes ran over the pile of blankets on the floor, and you could feel your heart break.

He slept on the floor. 

He chuckled as you looked around. “Sad, huh?” He said, walking into the kitchen with the food in hand. “No.” You said, and followed him to the kitchen. “Like I said outside. It's you. You are building a life after a lot of suffering. Nothing about this is sad.” He shook his head as he took out the carrots and potatoes from the bag. 

“I couldn't even afford a full couch.” He said. You dropped your phone on the counter gently, and wrapped your arms around his waist. You rested your head in between his shoulder blades, and inhaled his smell. 

“Baby, it’s okay. You were gone for 5 years. So was half the world. Before that, you were living in Wakanda, where you didn't have to deal with the stresses of regular life. And, before that, you were trapped within someone who wasn't you. Don’t blame yourself for any of this. I love you for who you are.” You said, and Bucky turned around, his arms circling your waist. 

“How did I get so lucky?” he mumbled into your hair. You giggled, and lifted your head. “By saving my life,” You said, before pressing a kiss to his lips. He kissed back immediately, and pulled you closer. 

You pulled away when the need for oxygen became dire, and you smiled at them again. “All I did was pull you out of the way of a car that was out of control, doll.” He said, and ran his hand down your arm as you pulled out of the hug. “I would’ve gotten hit if you didn't. I’m not a super soldier like you are, its highly unlikely I would have survived if it weren't for my hero,” You mentioned, as you walked over to your backpack and pulling out your laptop.

Bucky chuckled, and watched as you sat down in the chair across from the tv. You tucked your feet under yourself, and sat your laptop on the arm before powering it on.

Bucky began to move about the kitchen and make the two of you dinner. No matter what you said, he couldn't stop feeling guilty about the state of his apartment. He could have at least bought a blow up mattress for you to sleep on, so you wouldn't be stuck sleeping on the hard wood floor with him. Better yet, he could have bought a bed. He had a bedroom, but he didn't feel comfortable in there. He glanced over at you while he washed the carrots in the sink and saw how you stretched your back before returning to your homework.

It wasn't an unusual occurrence for him to hang out with you while you do homework. He actually enjoyed watching you do school work. he could barely remember school, and he never got to go to college. Between working and taking care of Steve, he both didn't have time and couldn't afford it. Then the war started, and he thought about going after, but his capture by HYDRA kinda ruined that one. During his time in Wakanda, he had thought about going to college, but at that point he was still a wanted criminal and that was out of the question. He had been thinking about it more recently, and had decided to wait until he was finished making his amends to enrol somewhere. 

Mainly, he was just happy that you were getting an education. He planned on staying with you forever, marrying you, having kids with you, and growing old(er) with you, and he knew your future children would benefit from at least one of their parents having up-to-date school education. And, by up to date school education, he meant a curriculum that was developed this century.

He stirred the potatoes in the pot and smiled as he heard your fingers tapping on the keyboard. God, he loved you. You loved him for who he was, you didn't judge him, and most importantly, you didn't blame him for anything that happened. He hadn't been expecting to be so open with you about his past when he asked you out on a date, but you knew who he was instantly, and thanked him for saving your life. He may have physically saved your life that day, but he felt that you saved his life in every other way by just being yourself. 

He continued to listen to you tapping on the keyboard, the clicking of your knuckles as you cracked them, and the slow but rhythmic breathing as you focused on your work. 

Dinner was finished a few minutes later, and you closed your laptop just as Bucky was plating the veggies. You placed your laptop back in the bag, and joined Bucky on the ground to eat. 

“Did you finish your homework?” He asked, and you nodded. You swallowed before speaking. “Yeah. I can't submit it yet, but it’s finished and ready to go,” You said. 

The two of you continued making small talk throughout the night, and Bucky tried to find a way to convince you that the two of you should sleep at your apartment instead, but he knew that it wouldn't work. He tried to bite back the tears while you were in the showers and he laid out the blankets and pillows on the floor for the night. They almost fell again when he walked out of the bathroom from having his shower and saw you snuggled up on the ground, scrolling on TikTok. He swallowed the lump in his throat as he got a cup of water for himself and for you. He thought he had a handle on his emotions by the time he had settled next to you, but the dam broke when he laid down and your had found its way to your chest as it usually did. 

Your head shot up when you heard his shaky breathing and his sniffling, and you immediately wrapped your arms around his neck. “What’s wrong, Buck?” you whispered, and his arms wrapped themselves around your waist before he answered. 

“You deserve to be sleeping on a bed.” he whispered, and you shook your head. 

“No. Don’t do that to yourself. I know how weird it is for you to sleep in a bed, and that's okay. I’ve been camping before, and I’m perfectly fine with sleeping on the ground. I’m fine, baby.” You whispered, but Bucky still shook his head. 

“I should be able to afford a bed,” He said, and you sat up. “Stop. Don’t think that. You’re doing the best you can with what you have. You can barely afford the bills you have already because of what the government is paying you, which is way less than you should be. You’re doing great with what you have.” You reminded him, and he nodded.

“I know. But, I probably should have spent the little money I did have on a bed rather than a TV, but if I don't have the TV on, my mind runs to places I don't want it to. I know that’s not healthy, but neither is reliving everything I did for those years. I wasn't really thinking about having anyone to share my nights with during that time, so a bed didn't seem important. But, I should have bought a mattress when we started dating. Everything is just way too expensive compared to when I was growing up.” He said, a slight chuckle in his voice. You smiled, and pushed him back by the chest. 

He smiled suggestively when you straddled his waist, his hands coming to rest on your hips. “Lets not talk about it anymore, okay? Maybe me riding you will help you forget it.” You said, leaning down to press a kiss to his lips that were red and slightly swollen from his tears. He didn't say anything in return, but kissed you back while running your hands up your back and under your sleep shirt. He moaned when he felt that you weren't wearing a bra. 

“Naughty girl, not wearing a bra,” He whispered, as you kissed down his neck. He grabbed the hem of the shirt and pulled it up, leaving you in only your underwear. You moaned at his husky voice and ground your hips down on him. He moaned, and grasped your hips in his hands. 

He let you grind on him a little more, thoroughly enjoying it, before flipping you over. He trailed his hands down to your underwear, hooking his thumbs into the straps, before pulling them down your legs. 

He moaned when you were completely exposed to him. You looked at him with lust filled eyes, as he spread your legs, and settled himself on his stomach in between them.

He lifted your legs over his shoulders, and pressed kisses up your slit, making eye contact with you. “Fuckin’ beautiful.” he said, before diving into you. 

He swiped his tongue over your clit a few times, before attaching his mouth to it and sucking. You jolted slightly when you felt the cold metal of his pointer finger slowly push inside of you. He pushed it to the hilt, and then arched up to rub up against your g spot. 

You cried out suddenly and tangled your hands in his hair when his finger started vibrating right up against your g spot, causing you to fall over the edge into orgasm almost instantly. 

Bucky pulled off of you with a pop, and grinned, still moving his finger in and out while you rode out your orgasm. Once your breathing slowed, he pulled his finger out, and put it into his mouth, sucking your juices off of it. He laid on his back, and guided you with his hands until you were on top again. 

You began to shimmy down his body, but Bucky shook his head, and pulled you back up. “No. If you do that, I won't last, and I want to cum in your pussy not your mouth,” He said, and you bit your lip, and nodded.

His hands gripped your hips while you reached down for his now leaking cock, and gave it a few firm strokes, before lining it up at your entrance. You leaned forward and gripped your hands on his shoulder, before sliding down on him slowly.

“Fuck, doll. Always feels so damn good,” Bucky moaned, his hands tightening on your hips. You threw your head back and moaned as you began to move your hips, with Bucky’s help.

“Love seein’ you like this, babydoll.” Bucky rasped out, hit hips thrusting up to meet your movements. “Love how needy you get when you’re on top.” His words made you clench around him, and Bucky grasped your hips tighter to pull you down on his cock harder and faster each time. 

You could feel the pressure building in your abdomen, and you knew Bucky was close as well based on the movements of his hips. You ground your hips into his before continuing to bounce on him.

“F-fuck,” Bucky grunted as he was used over the edge, and released inside of you. You threw your head back as you felt Bucky’s cum smash against your walls, which sent you over the edge, and you shook as you came. 

A few minutes later, Bucky has cleaned both you and him up, and was coming back from tossing the wash cloth in the laundry hamper when he saw you sound asleep on the ground where he left you. He smiled slightly and carried you into the bedroom, along with the blankets and pillows. 

He laid you down and straightened out the blankets, and put your pillow under your head, before laying down next to you, and pulling you into his arms. He drifted off to sleep seconds later with the plan on looking for a second hand bed in the morning. You deserved to sleep on a bed, and so did he, he realized. 

At least the plush carpeting is softer than the hard wood.