#pikachu has problems

[catswampy]

</3

[alteredsilicone]

Larian on twitter telling someone "no kissing between durge and Gortash" LMFAO

[witchcraftingboop]

Boss: I don't know if you know this, but I'm not very good at readi-

Me, who has to be called in to read the check numbers for him because switching from paper to digital irritates his "perfect vision" eyes: Oh I know, I'm very aware actually

[laurelnose]

on the left you will see my pride and joy, Inexplicably French Psyduck From The Board Books Section. holo Galarian Moltres V 097/198 Chilling Reign is pretty cool too I guess

(not pictured: one each of Psychic, Fire and Electric energy cards)

found an Abra today, which brings my collection of Pokémon cards sourced exclusively from the library book drop to 39

[long-live-astronerd-ghost-king]

DPXDC prompt. Nanny Wilson

Little Danny is almost lost in the mall when his parents suddenly run too fast in an attempt to catch up a ghost that their equipment has detected. Young Fenton is not a crybaby at all, but being alone without daddy and mommy is a little scary, so he begins to whimper and run around, trying to find familiar features in the blurry figures around him. Finally, he bumps into the thigh with a gun. It doesn't look much like an ectoblast, but dad is always inventing something new, so Danny quickly hugs this leg as hard as he can and begs loudly.

Danny: Daddy! Don't leave me! Slade: What the hell… Boy, I'm not your dad.

Danny blinks a few times and realizes that this man really doesn't look like Jack.

Danny: Oh. I'm sowwy. Can you help me find my daddy?

Slade: What makes you think I'm going to do this?

Danny: You have a gun and dad has a gun, so you're good. Are you here to hunt too? Slade: Something like that...What's your father's name, kid?

Jack: Danny! There you are!

A huge figure in a hazmat suit rushes towards them and Danny notices that his new friend is hastily hiding the weapon. To cheer up the man who is obviously meeting Jack Fenton for the first time, Danny smiles broadly. Dad may look scary, but he doesn't steal other people's toys.

Jack: Oh, thanks for looking after him. Our goal turned out to be too fast and we didn't even notice when our boy started to fall behind. Slade: No problem, colleague. Maddie: ? Danny: Kind uncle is also a hunter. Maddie: Oh, that's great! Em, sorry, but is there any chance that you have a time to look after our boy for a few days? We'll pay you well. You see, he rarely trusts people so quickly, and we absolutely do not have time to look for a replacement for our old nanny, and we really need to complete the last project as soon as possible.

Looking at the giggling boy trying to see if there are any other interesting things on him, Wilson decides that this will not be a bad experience in case he decides to establish a relationship with his found daughter.

Slade: All right, I'll take your order.

~~~About ten years later~~~

Danny, who is much more familiar with death than in canon, after being freshly ghosted: Damn, nanny will be so mad at me.

~~~~~ Danny: Hey, Slade. Do you want me to show you something cool? Slade: Not now, kid, nanny is cleaning up. Danny: Yeah, about that. *makes a corpse go through the ground* Ta-da! Can we talk now? Slade at the first second: *Surprised Pikachu face*. Slade when he notices a strange glow around Danny, like from ectoplasm in the lab of the boy's parents: >:( … >:( … >:( Danny: S-stop it!

~~~~~ Slade: And take out the bloodstains from those shirts too, they're my favorites. Danny: Oh dude, have you heard that child labor is illegal? Slade: Whoever doesn't help uncle Slade doesn't get a new knife for Christmas. Danny: Pfff…Now I'm my own weapon, come up with something new or I'll find myself a cooler mentor. Slade: Jackanapes!

~~~~~

When Wilson stumbles upon a distraught runaway Robin, he sincerely tries to take care of him as well as he took care of Danny. Deathstroke is an experienced babysitter, so there shouldn't be any problems with vigilante child being around on his missions. All children love knives, workouts and guns, right? Plus, staying alone when they are upset, as Jazz says, is unhealthy.

~~~~A few days later~~~~

Dick's thoughts: He wants to make me his evil sidekick, oh no! Wilson's thoughts: What's wrong with this kid? Batman so fucked up? Wayne needs to be stripped of his parental rights. I'm calling Jazz.

~~~~~

Wilson, who does not understand that he has been hanging out with Fentons too long, looks with perplexity at Grayson, who's running away from flying pieces of Maddie's pizza, then shoots some pepperoni and sits down at the table. It's going to be a long way. Poor boy.

~~~~~

Meanwhile, Fenton family is visiting Masters for the first time. Vlad tries to flirt with Maddie and then pretends to be good-natured while getting to know Danny.

Danny: I know 54 ways to kill you with this fork. If I were you I think I'd watch my mouth. Jack: He's joking, V-man. Danny: I'm not. Jack: He's just like his babysitter. They have such an unusual sense of humor. I think our boy really likes you! Usually Danny is too shy to talk like this with strangers. Vlad: Babysitter? Maddie: Yes, Mr. Wilson helped us out a lot and often did not even take payment. He's an angel. Vlad: I think I've heard that name somewhere before... Jack: Ugh, I want to introduce you anyway! Danny: Me too. Jack: Great. What about Wednesday? Danny: Dad, uncle might be busy. Let me ask him when he has time to, um, pay your old friend a visit.

[kitkatscabinet]

LANGUAGES OF LOVE

Summary: The ways they express their love.

Pairings: Dick Grayson, Jason Todd, Tim Drake, Bruce Wayne, Hal Jordan x gn! reader.

DICK GRAYSON: Words of affirmation

His communication skills may have suffered after a decade at Bruce's side, but the one thing he'll never fail to convey verbally is just how much he loves you.

Showers you with praises, pet names, and affirmations at every opportunity possible. You do something as simple as making him toast for breakfast that's slightly burnt? You're the light of his life, his honey pie, the greatest gift to mankind.

Will even loudly proclaim how much he loves you in front of his siblings during the family events you drag him into, much to their dismay.

JASON TODD: Acts of service

Unlike his older brother, Jason struggles to articulate his thoughts. Expressing his affection doesn't come easily, verbally and sometimes even physically he's not the best.

Has a bit of an angsty breakdown after you've been dating for a few months, tries to tell you that you deserve better, someone that can love you properly.

You know you shouldn't laugh, he's genuinely distressed but you're quick to reassure him that you know just how much he loves you. Cue the shocked pikachu face.

He buys the groceries, does the laundry, hell, he even arranges your plushies on the bed the way you like even when they take up his space. If it were up to Jason you'd never have to do anything but sit there and look pretty for him.

TIM DRAKE: Quality time

Tim's a busy man. Between vigilante life, the Young Justice Team, his family, and Wayne Enterprises, he barely has time to breathe, let alone for a significant other.

Despite this, you spend an exorbitant amount of time together. So much that even Dick thinks Tim needs to start spending some time alone. Tim thinks being away from you for even a second might kill him.

Literally has an allocated slot in his calendar/timetable entirely dedicated to spending time with you.

You two are the body-doubling template. You spend so much time together while also being separate that when Tim's working on a case, he'll automatically turn to look at you or ask your opinion even when you're not there.

BRUCE WAYNE: Gift giving

King of emotional incompetence. Spends his life throwing his money at people and problems that it definitely transfers to romantic relationships.

Early on this will be extravagant jewellery, dresses, anything you even look at slightly appreciatively for more than three seconds its yours. Hell, he bought you a kitten within the first few weeks of knowing you because of your reaction to an instagram reel.

It's shallow yes, but he doesn't really know any other way to be. Once you explain to him that you'll love him even if he doesn't spend millions on you he's still big on gifts because you absolutely deserve it.

As the months pass and he realises how much he loves you the gifts become more sentimental. Less throwing cash at you and more homemade family photo albums of you and the boys, your favourite flowers once a week, materials for whatever new hobbies you want to take up.

BONUS! HAL JORDAN: physical touch

We all knew this one was coming. Pretty much always needs to be touching you. There is no escape. Dread it, run from it, Hal's going to touch you.

Insists you sit on his lap when you watch movies together, always cuddling you when you're in bed, even when you protest that he's too hot. You give him a hand to hold as a compromise, only for you to wake up in a sweat hours later with him stuck to your back.

The type of guy who insists you wear pants/skirts with pockets on the butt so he can stick his hand in there.

"Hal, you're not gonna die if you're not groping my chest for like five seconds"

"You don't know that!"

Please just let him touch your tits, it's the quickest way to shut him up.

[threepandas]

Bad End: Snake Bride

There were pudgy little yellow creatures everywhere, here. As common as squirrels, it seemed. They looked like squishy, somber, ditto-faced Pikachus...sorta? I made a note of it. Stopping to make a few sketches. Not that anyone here would ever get the reference, mind you. And they didn't have the iconic tail. More of a nubby little hamster tail?

I'd have to figure out a better description. For the bestiary. Not to mention a suitably cute name, assuming they weren't deadly, after all...

You never knew, with hidden realms like these.

Throughout my training, the other disciples and I had been beaten over the head with countless tales of "it looked cute/pretty/beautiful/holy/or otherwise harmless AND THEN TRIED TO KILL US. Do NOT make our mistakes! I will pull you from the jaws of death! Just to kill you myself!!" by our Shizun. The man could rant for hours.

He still couldn't let go that a glowing, flower patterned, butterfly tried to rip his throat out. And? Since he technically for them "first"? (As far as anyone can find.) He got to name then poor creatures.

Which is why, there exists a very beautiful species of highly deadly butterfly... called the "flying demon rat bastard spawn".

(God, I love Shizun so much. He is so, SO petty. Hilarious, vengeful, the man's the living manifestation of "target sighted". Man has beef with specific TREES for god sake. I wish I had HALF that kind of energy. Even if it DID get us banned from like... so many places.)

I tried to get a good look at the little guys mouth, seeing one yawn. Hmmm... the teeth suggest venom. Better not startle any of them... but NOT I'm gonna need to catch one to milk it. Great. They seem fast...

A knock out array? No. Need them to want to bite me, so I can get a venom sample...

Crouching, I mulled over the problem. Admiring the little creatures as the clambered up and down the strange flora of this realm. It was fascinating. Humbling, in a way. When, I considered that? No one else had DONE this before. I knew it for a fact. Every single reference to this hidden realm? Was from either the immortal who created it... or four hundred years later, the immortal who sacked the placed.

It was hard to get into, hard to find, didn't boast any supposed ten thousand year treasures or legendary beasts. Just? A humble pocket of life. Started and left to cultivate. Shift and change. Grow!

Who CARES what uses the creatures or plants have?! This place should be STUDIED! All these realms should be studied! They're amazing!!

I spot a moss I haven't collected yet and carefully take a sample. Noting it's location on the map I've started (which is a mess, I fear I definitely have no future there). Of course, as is so often the case? Finding one sample leads to another. Moss leads to "oh hey, a mushroom" to "is that bird or a leaf?" And so on and so on. I nearly forget to make camp.

(It was a bird. It just looked like leaves! Fascinating camouflage!)

Only noticing the light shifting qualities, drags me from my hyperfocus. A nasty (or, I guess, productive? For an immortal.) habit. I had lost days to it, before. Disappearing into the library or some work room, back on the peak, for time blurringly long periods of time. Inedia keeping me from hunger. Younger disciples bringing me tea.

There was a reason, after all, I never made Head Disciple. Even though I got along great with Shizun. I was about as responsible as a goldfish. Entirely too focused on my own studies, to be honest. But to be fair? Let's see YOU focus! When there is so much... I don't know, Xianxia bullshit?

(IS it Xianxia bullshit? Or is it Xuanhuan bullshit? Fuck. It's been a life time. I literally can not not remember. Let's see YOU remember the differences! After literal decades!!)

(God, I miss my books. And the internet. And TV. Honestly? I miss everything.)

Fuck! Side tracked! Again!!

Careful not to step on any of the marshmallow-y not-pikachus, I scramble to collect the last of my samples. Reach out with my Qi, to feel how the ebbs and flows around me shift. I should? Be able to sense any nearby predators. As well as posdibly find a nice qi rich spot to set up camp. Maybe meditate.

Just because I'm exploring hidden realms, doesn't mean I should grow lazy, after all! Whole point of cultivation it to ascend. God hood and all that. And, yeah, I'm still sceptical as fuck. But... count me curious. Why not try?

Oooh! That's a nice ca-! Hmmm?

Something... not-brushes against my senses. As though it should be there. I should sense something. An almost taste and nearly smell of... something? Someone? Kinda like the faintest hint of someone's cologne, lingering in the air, as you move through a crowd that isn't touching you. But... warmer. Like it's still on the skin. Not a lingering remnant from someone who passed through?

It's... weird. I can't sense anybody.

Maybe if I try harder? I pump more qi into my technique. More then is technically polite, honestly. But maybe they are farther out then I think they are? I hadn't exactly expected to be sharing space. This Realm isn't exactly BIG. Just a ring of mountains and the valleys between them. One big, lush valley. Many smaller ones.

Again, it's not a popular realm. Not to mention already looted. And not even particularly Qi rich. So meditating here would be a strange choice. But... maybe they want the relative isolation?

I still can't find them. Dispite knowing they are there. (That technique does not give false positives.) So I risk rudeness. Figure I can always apologize. Maybe they are deep in meditation or something? Pumping more qi, frankly appalling amounts, into the technique, I am damn near half blind as I walk. (For all that I can see better then anyone in this valley at the moment.)

The sensory input is cacophonous. Beautiful. Terrible. Like balancing atop a single hair thin thread. Suspended carefully, above a raging sea, made of wonderous light and churning pains. I use my foot steps to anchor me. Balanced and even. Yet... find nothing. Pull back.

Are they... hiding?

Why?

Up ahead it the qi rich cave (more an over hang, cave is generous) that I sensed. A good, defensible place to set up.

It's only as I'm setting up? That I notice the little Marsh-a-chus? (Is that a good name? I really do need to start thinking of a good name for them.) Have followed along. Crowd the trees and settle thick in various bushes. And... part of me? Wants to go "away, I made friends!" But...

The rest of me? Was drilled in horror story and horror story by my Shizun. And that's so mighty fine "unusual interest" behavior going on there. Might even go so far as to classify it as hunting behavior!

Mmmmhm! Don't like THAT! No sir! Time for some nice and cozy warding talismans! Shall we? The STRONG ones.

Under far too many beady little eyes, I slap down security talismans. Full three sixty. Against the ground, the stone, the mountain behind me. I am taking no chances. Just as I was taught.

Which... as I am settling in for the night? Dinner done and dishes drying. Sleeping mat, out and reading to go. Light and warmth talismans, positioned just where I need them? Turns out to be for the best.

Because there is something in the dark. Big. Predatory. And coming towards me.

It's not so large as to show above the trees. But that is small comfort. They are fairly large trees. And honestly? I know only too well, massive size does NOT indicate lethality. Sun turtles are mountainous after all, and THEY photosynthesize! The problem is? There wasn't supposed to be a predator that big in this realm.

Did someone fucking shove a spirit beast or monster in here!?

What? Out of sight out of mind?! No longer their problem, right!? Why kill it, when you can put it in a hidden real to LET IT GROW BIGGER! Destroy an ecosystem! MOTHER FUCK-!!!

The night is silent.

It should NOT be.

Gripping a sword I am only kinda decent at wielding, I pray to the gods, I don't have to use it. I am a spiritual cultivator! Not a martial one! This is BULLSHIT. I don't have anything on me for "unknow predatory mega-fauna" because there WASN'T SUPPOSED TO BE ANY! Oh, this is the LAST time I-!

Foot steps. Crushing through the underbrush.

Into the circle of light my talismans cast, fades a pale young master. Graceful and pale in the moonlight. Very... very pale in the moonlight, actually. No better in the light of my talismans. Near ghostly, in his white silks. Touches of pale gold and stark black. Curls of ink wash grey. Like a painting brought to life.

Just a touch too perfect. A touch too beautiful.

With a grace to his movements that... that is too smooth.

It's not until he all but stands in the light that I am certain. His hair. Too lovely and well kept, for it to be an accident or some sort of shaming. Those are NOT bangs. That is the entirety of it. Nothing held back, in a crown or subtle styling. No... no it is SHORT.

No Human Wears Their Hair SHORT Here.

Entering the light? His eyes reflect. Grey like blades. Like storms and death. No pretty silver things. No, it is far too deep a color. Far too dangerous. Slits, that contract with the light. Half hidden by a heavy expression, that I can not begin to interpret. I desperately try to identify the creature before. Feline? No. Lacks the savage edge. Too cool... serpentine. Snake!

"Like a panicked little mouse, honored cultivator. This one might begin to suspect you weren't happy to see me~" they...? He? Says; his voice a low, honeyed rasp. "But how can that be? When this humble servant has been hunting for so long?"

"Surely, my dear little mouse, has been anticipating this day~! Dreaming of the day when her lord would catch her?"

There is something... mean, in that tone. Vicious and victorious. The silent echo of a madman laugh, as he burns the world to ruin. Seizes and achieves all that he desires. Strangles all that he can not possess. Covetous and ugly. Dancing, dancing, dancing around the edges. Demonic, indeed.

Yet... I do not recognize this creature. This demon. He certainly recognizes me, as horrifying as that is. What past does he speak of? Hunting? What HUNTING?! I try to find something familiar, in this strange form. Unless, of course, he is simple insane? Not impossible... but...

"Ah~ my poor little mouse." The demon coos, mocking in his indulgence. His eyes still dance with laughter. Mad and unable to feast. "You don't recognize this poor servant, do you? How cruel! To be forgotten. A passing fancy, barely held, in my mouse's fickle heart."

He's laughing me. Knows I could not possibly recognize him, yet plans to punish me anyway. Somehow. Fuck! This seems genuine. But how? Why!? When would I have-!?

Then, he shifts.

Gone is the beautiful young man. In his place? Rising, rising, RISING? A behemoth of a bandy-wolf king snake. Black, white, with occasional bare traces of that pale gold on the under belly. Hundreds of thousands the times it ever should have been. But... but? There. A scar. Oh gods.

I recognize him now.

A snake got into the village I was born. Absurdly poisonous, unthinkably venomous, it should have been left alone. Gathered very, VERY carefully and taken far away from people. But... people panic. Get stupid. The adults didn't fucking listen. And over sixteen people died that didn't have too. I was sick at the sight of it. They captured the poor creature and were going to burn it alive.

For the crime of being afraid. Hungry. Getting attacked and then protecting itself.

I couldn't bear it. So... I stole it. Hid it in a cave, half way across the valley. Didn't my best to nurse the poor, injured, creature back to health. At least... I tried. The injuries were too severe. I was able to close the wounds. But sickness, blood loss...

Shit. That cave was incredibly qi rich. It's why I chose it! To make up for what I couldn't do! If he had already started cultivation and then... or just resented enough...

It was entirely possible to become a snake demon. Easily, even.

"Sss Sss Sss, ah, recognition~" the massive creature laughed "Why so fearful? Little mouse~ It's not you I want dead. Kindness for kindness, a debt for a debt. And aren't we be grown? Look how strong we've become!"

The booming, breathy cackle did not fit snake lungs. Silibant and painful. Hissing and near silent. It was more pressure in the air then anything. A madness long coming. As demons born of resentment energy tended to be. All burned villages and the screams of those who wronged them. Hatreds and obsessions made manifest.

I... I could barely breathe. Oh gods. Oh gods! What do I do? I.. I can't-!! Tears threatened to choke me. Fear, shaking my limbs and fogging my mind. W-what do I DO?! I'm scared. No. No, no, NO! Please! I'm SCARED!

"Ah~ so cute, so cute! My little mouse grew so lovely~"

Like the world sighing, as fluid and graceful as his steps, the snake became a man again. His grey tinted lips curled in a fang bearing smile. Hands up and braced against the barrier, his full weight leaning forward as he leered. He loomed. My talismans casting odd shadows across his face, giving the madness in his eyes a terrible glow.

"This husband truely did pick his trap well, didn't he? My sweet little mouse~" he purred, eyes unblinking, above a terrible smile. "My little wife has no where to run~! No where to hide! Her husband has trapped her quite cleverly, hasn't he~? Poor, poor, little mouse. Your husband is so mean!"

My heart felt like it was going to burst. Cold. T-trapped. Can't breathe! Oh gods. Is this a panic attack? I.. I think this is a panic attack! Can't think! Static. Legs, refusing to hold me. Sink. Crawling backwards. Away. G-got to get away! Trapped! TRAPPED!

I horror, I watch as he sinks his nails in to the barrier. Hands no longer resting, but digging into it. He-! He shouldn't be able to DO that! Oh gods! PLEASE gods! Tell me he's not strong enough to BREAK barrier talismans of this level! Please! PLEASE!!

"Ah~ acting this way, you make this husband want to bully you, little wife~♡ And ah, such big, fearful eyes~ Am I being mean? Is husband being cruel? Poor thing~"

CRACK.

In horror, I watch as his nail push through the barrier. Like driving stakes through stone. Cracks shooting from the holes, as he digs and digs. Hands closing around the shards he has created, ignoring the blood that spills from where it cuts into him. As the barrier itself whines and crackles in protect. Tryinging desperately to maintain its integrity. Slowly... cracking... failing...

"Let me kiss it better, hmm? No use in trying to run~"

"So be a good girl~♡ my little Mouse. Come to husband~♡"

[inexplicifics]

A modern AU Witcher ficlet for @domaystic prompt 3, local flea market, also on AO3:

Guxart grins and changes course slightly, dodging past a stall laden with slightly disturbing dolls and around a small child in a Pikachu onesie and arriving at the front of the hand-carved duck decoy booth at the same time as his target.

His target glowers magnificently at him. “You again.”

“Me again,” Guxart says, lounging against the booth’s counter with what he knows is an offensively cheerful smile. “These are really well made! Look at the detail!”

“I know,” his target growls. Guxart smirks and flutters his eyelashes. His target huffs and looks torn between rage and amusement.

The unfortunate duck-decoy seller glances back and forth between them warily. Guxart picks up the nicest of the ducks and turns it over delicately, examining the really quite well done feathers and the delightful detail of painted feet on the bottom. Really it’s criminally underpriced, too.

And it’s exactly the sort of thing his target quite likes, given what Guxart has observed over the past few months.

Perfect.

“I’ll take it,” he says to the seller, who looks cautiously pleased.

“Oh for fuck’s sake,” Guxart’s target sighs. “What is your problem?”

Guxart hands the seller a bill, waves off the change, and tucks the duck decoy under his arm before he turns to grin at his target. “My problem? I’ve got a lovely carved duck, that doesn’t seem like a problem.”

His target looks like he’s about to start emitting steam from his ears. He’s gone delightfully red, and his lovely salt-and-pepper beard is bristling, and if he could shoot sparks from his eyes, Guxart would be a pillar of fire by now.

“Why,” his target grits out, “have you been sniping anything I show interest in out from in front of me?”

“Oh, that!” Guxart says, and gives his target a really good sultry look. “Well, if I ever do get you to come home with me, I’ll want you to feel comfortable there, won’t I?”

His target’s jaw drops. Guxart waits, lounging against the stall’s counter, ready to dodge if he needs to. He doesn’t think he will need to, but it’s always good to be prepared.

“That,” his target says at last, “is the stupidest fucking form of flirting I have ever encountered. There are easier ways to get a man’s attention!”

Guxart shrugs eloquently. “It worked, didn’t it? I certainly have your attention now.”

“You are insane,” his target marvels.

“Insane with unslaked desire,” Guxart agrees, with his best coy smile and head tilt.

His target makes a garbled noise of incredulous rage.

And then, to Guxart’s astonishment and pure delight, he snarls, “You’re buying lunch,” and turns to stalk away towards the food trucks.

It takes Guxart several seconds to get his wits together enough to follow. His target glances expectantly over his shoulder, and Guxart scrambles to catch up, grinning madly.

And to think his brothers said it wouldn’t work!

[sanni276]

Joker Jr. AU but a bit different

I have recently seen and read several Tim Drake AU's where he is Joker Jr. They were all really interesting but I noticed how Tim was (obviously since that's like the main trait of the Joker) always insane in these fics, which has given me the following idea: Tim is Joker Jr. but he is not insane and actually purposefully became him to at as a spy.

Hear me out: Little 11/12-year old Timothy was out at night doing some nighttime photography (*cough* batstalking *cough*) when he witnessed the Joker doing something so brutally sick and wrong (Barbara being shot maybe?) that Tim decided that Joker needed to be stopped and it had to happen soon. Somewhere in that thought process it somehow got into his head that he had to do something.

I am sadly not actually smart enough to explain to you how he did it, but Tim tricks the Joker into making him his "son" and into thinking that he is insane. However instead of bringing chaos and harm upon the people of Gotham, Tim is using JJ as a cover to infiltrate the world of Gotham's rogues and send warnings to the police and citizens before attacks so they can be stopped or at least as many people saved as possible.

Another use of Tim pretending to be JJ is, that he can slowly convince Harley to leave the Joker over time and even better: Joker might take him to Ethiopia where Tim saves Jason. Through Jason's vague memories of being rescued in the last second by a child that was with the Joker? the Bat's finally become aware of the fact that Joker has a child (i imagine that they only heard rumours about it before and they kind of brushed it off since the story didn't really add up or some other excuse like that). They are obviously very concerned but when they finally find Tim and expect to meet a traumaticzed child that has become close to insanity, this happens instead:

*Batman and co. dramatically landing on the roof JJ is standing on*

*Tim turning around and starting to wave exitedly when he sees them*: Hi :)! Omg I can't believe I'm meeting you guys, i am a big fan do you need something from me? Information maybe? That would be no problem although you might have to wait a bit if you need like specific info on a rogue because i would have to investigate first and-

Nightwing: Wtf B?! You told me to come from Blud tonight since I am the best of us with children but I wouldn't touch whatever this is with a ten-foot-pole.

Batman (ignoring his son): Hello Timothy (yeah they figured out his identity), we are here to rescue you from the Joker and bring you home to your family.

Tim: Rescue me? Why would you have to rescue me? *whispering to himself* and my parents have found out i'm not at drake manor? I am going to have to check they're travel plans again.

*Bat's sharing a concerned glance*

Jason: I know this is hard to understand for you and you must be so scared, but Joker is very dangerous. We can help you. You are safe now and you don't need to defend him.

*Tim looking at them with a confused Pikachu face*: Ewwww, I would rather drop my camera off a roof than defend the Joker. I think we are having a little misunderstanding right now.

Tim, completly convinced from his Hero's greatness, just assumed that the Bat's knew about his existence, who he was and that he was only pretending to be a rogue. Why wouldn't they? There the best detectives in the world after all!

He then procedes to explain to them how he is literally the perfect spy, since his parents wouldn't even really miss him if he died and he already made contingencies that would assure all the data and evidence he has on people would be automatically deleted.

The Bat's leave that rooftop not only without Tim, but also somehow even more concerned than before.

In conclusion: Give me an AU that is just Tim my sweet-summer child doing the most reckless shit that is somehow atually very helpful for everyone while the Batfam is just desperatly trying and failing to convince Tim that he has no obligation for what he is doing and that his sacrifice would not be worth it (during the many encounters they have, Tim slowly turns out to be the perfect adoption bait and I think we all already know how this is going to end.)

This is literally my first ever tumblr post or post about the batfam so I hope I did this the right way and this was somewhat possible to enjoy. Please tell me if i made any mistakes since english isn't my first language and feel free to write fic's using my idea!

[blueberrypancakesworld]

Could you do one where reader has been friends with Erik since they were in 1st grade she always liked him but thought he only seen her has a friend she the opposite of him with red hair and bright blue eyes and more of a anime/ movie nerd ( no glasses) during the movie she is always with Erik and trying to help him she tells him she loves him and he says he loves her and if they survive were leaving and he going to marry me she ends up saving him but his brother still dies so they leave far away and do start a life together they have 2 kids there son Bobby ( named after his brother and a girl Julia after his sister

Finally together after years

Erik Campbell x fem!reader

warning : fluff, hurt/comfort, friends to lovers, kiss, mention of dead and blood, reader has red hair and blue eyes otherwise no description, no use of Y/n

Summary : They always seemed to be together, as kids in school, as teenagers in high school. Even now as adults, they still had a bond with each other that could not be broken, not by the deaths of his family and not even when Erik's own life seemed to be in danger. Because they firmly believe that in the face of love they can defy anything.

info : Hi dear, thanks for the request, i like the idea with the children. Sorry for the longer wait, I hope you enjoy reading and thanks to everyone for the support ;)

masterlist

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ The first thing she remembered when she thought back to Erik and their story together was the school days and how he was somehow always different.

The first day at school was a new experience for all children, you suddenly met so many more people, teachers you had to listen to, you had to remember names to address the adults correctly.

Children who either looked at you in a friendly way or just as uncertainly as you did, and then sitting still for hours on the wooden chairs, which after a while became uncomfortable while you had to solve math problems and your fingers ran out.

School had also become a new event in her young life, but when she met a boy called Erik, she seemed to know what she wanted: to sit next to him.

It was a plan that worked, from the moment they had first spoken to each other the joy seemed to stay with her, she had taken Ash Ketchum's cap from Pokemon with her to school and a little Pikachu plushie in her hand.

The complete opposite to Erik, who was wearing a little cylindrical hat and a bat stuffed animal, “That is so soft,” she had said, pointing to the bat, which was surrounded by fluffy dark fur.

That sentence seemed to have set everything in motion between them, the children talking about the softness of bats, her explaining each of Pikachu's attacks and telling Erik what a Pkeball could do.

The imaginary fights in the breaks as they ran laughing and screeching after each other, shouting attacks and pretending to hit each other.

Within a few months they had become best friends, spent the night together and Erik had made her a little friendship bracelet out of black wool as a thank you for letting him play with her Pikachu.

A time of innocence, cuteness and joy... a feeling of joy that became a feeling of love over the next few decades.

Because the joy inside her, the tingling in her stomach and the fast beating heart were not due to Erik's unusual appearance, it was his whole self, as she realized in her late teens that she had fallen in love with him.

Yet whenever her bright eyes went to him, whenever she smiled at him, whenever she hugged him and talked, whenever they drove a car together and went out to eat, everything she hoped for in a romantic connection he didn't seem to see.

He always seemed to see her only as his girlfriend...but whether this was true or not they both seemed to find out many years later.

Because as with everything, time doesn't pass without a trace and when she saw the call on her cell phone, the name Erik with the emoji bat behind it and a friendly, “Hi Erik, what's up?” she heard the short silence behind it, a silence that was unusual because he was never quiet.

“Erik? Is everything all right?” her concern came directly between them and she thought she heard a sigh before the explanation followed, “My grandmother died, I wanted to ask if you would come to the funeral too, it would be really nice” a question, a request she hadn't seen coming.

Of course she agreed, but she had never seen Erik so confused for a moment, as if something even bigger had happened, as if there was something else behind it, as if he still had something that was bothering him.

She agreed, wearing a black dress and appearing as discreet as possible, she stood a little behind the family, the day was filled with gray clouds and even nature seemed to be saying goodbye to the old woman.

She had never gotten to know his grandmother Iris, he had only said something here and there in passing but never anything more specific, he always turned to her again.

The smile they both gave each other of understanding and gratitude when she came to him at the end of the funeral, “My condolences Erik” she said as he gave her a short hug, she saw that he seemed a little down, he knew his grandmother best of the children's generation of the family.

But just as quickly, he seemed to have regained his smile as he said, “Are you staying for the feast?” pointing to the rest of his family who were going back home to have a meal together, a suggestion she gratefully accepted and joined him as she accompanied him to the car.

But neither of them knew that Iris's death was just the beginning, the beginning of a future together, with a bloody path that would put them all in danger.

Just a few days after Iris's death, she found herself back at the Campbells' house, this time in the garden for a party, “I have cupcakes!” she shouted joyfully as she came in through the gate and put the home-baked food on the table.

As always, she immediately got a firm hug from Brenda and a pat on the back from Howard who eyed the cupcakes, “They're...colorful,” he said, holding one in front of him, before she could explain, Erik had come over from the grill and said.

“They're from Percy Jackson the mythology movie dad, you know she's a little movie nerd,” and winked knowingly as he took a bite of the cupcake.

Erik had always understood her and she had understood Erik, it didn't seem any different since they met, he knew and listened to her about the movies and she supported him on his creative side with the tattoos, giving tips and recommendations to motoven.

Until he tattooed her a little bat himself and he got himself a pokeball to remember their friendship and how they started out together, an andeknek that would be covered in blood only a few days later.

When death decides your time is up then it's over, a death that took Howard and only a few days later his daughter Julia, deaths in the family that left everyone bloodied, crying and screaming, that Stefani started telling the others things and explaining what was really going on.

A time when Erik had gone to see his friend, stood outside her door in the middle of the night and stammered "Dad...he-he's dead" and fell into her arms, she had never seen him so devastated, so broken and full of grief.

He had lost his father, someone he cherished and looked up to the most in his family, and now he was lying here leaning against her, drinking tea, just recounting whatever events he remembered with his father, and she was listening.

She listened silently, giving him the support he needed, running her fingers through his hair and wishing that she could kiss him, that she could take away the pain he was feeling.

Instead, she just pulled him tighter, “I'm here, Erik,” she murmured, and the two of them cuddled on the couch, holding each other, being there for each other until it seemed okay again, until they both calmed down enough to face his family together.

They had to when Stefani explained after Julia's death that they were all on a 'list' because of Iris and that death had targeted the Campbells and Reyes, a message that had shocked and unsettled everyone, a message where Erik had reached for her hand, “We'll get through this,” he said, giving her a small smile and they continued to listen.

Until the plan was finalized and the family set off towards the hospital, the van was big enough that they could spread out a little, the ride was quiet here and there but mostly it was Erik's calmness that unsettled her and she walked over to the dark-haired man sitting at the little fold-out seat.

“Hey, are you all right?” her question sounded banal in the face of what had happened.

It seemed to wake him from his stupor and he looked to her, a smile that somehow radiated a warmth to her, “Well, as well as you can when you know death is after you...but there's something else,” he admitted.

His gaze avoiding hers again, his fingers playing nervously with his piercing and again she couldn't quite tell if it was because of the dead or something else.

Her hand went to his, holding it gently, “Erik whatever it is we-” she wanted to reassure him but his shake of the head and his “It's not that” interrupted her, she was almost eager to see what he had. What could Erik Campbell have done to upset the bat boy she had known for two decades?

A question that was answered when his hands gently gripped hers and just as he was about to say something she uttered “I love you”, the words just came out, she finally confessed her feelings to him, finally the truth she had carried with her for so long came out.

Yet it wasn't rejection or disgust she received, it was a “I fucking love you too” and a kiss she felt as he pulled himself across the table towards her, seemingly finally giving her the kiss he had wanted to give her for so long.

A gesture that seemed all the more bittersweet in the face of death as he added, almost breathless from the stormy, intimate kiss, “Fuck, when this is all over I want to finally have a life together with you,” words that almost brought tears to her eyes as she agreed in the face of her all-consuming death, for the next few hours were full of death and danger.

A danger that only increased as the van came to the hospital, because even though the place had life and death, it was still a place that seemed just as dangerous as everything else.

A place that became the death of Bobby as he and Erik pursued a plan of their own.

A plan that had her tearing her love apart by a hair as she saw the machine start up, the chaos it unleashed and she rushed into the room.

Grabbing Erik's had and holding on to the edge of the wall as at the last moment the wheelchair followed them past that would otherwise have impaled Erik.

She had prevented death, saved Erik who would otherwise have died, and yet there was blood on the hands of the dead Campbell and his future wife.

They said goodbye to Brenda together a few months later, driving out of town with the few things they had, away from the nightmare that had initially brought them together as a dream.

They had survived death, made it together, a love that finally blossomed a few years later into two children, sisters, a boy and a girl one Bobby the other Julia in memory of the deceased aunt and uncle they would have had had they survived.

They made the beginning of a new generation, a new family, a family that had its beginnings in childhood and even if there was sadness in Erk's eyes, there was also love when he looked at his wife and children, which was the best of them both.

Love could always defy death no matter how long it took. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

[yuriisclumsy]

Hi im still not sure if this is how you request😅😅

But can you please write a scenario about a reader who is very flirty with cale and always having a way to insert flirty lines into their conversation while cale just ignores it (secretly liking it) but one day he had enough and responds to a flirty line that the reader just said which leads to the reader being shocked. Also bonus if the fam also actually sees it HAHAHAHA

Thanks for reading🙇🏻‍♀️🙇🏻‍♀️🙇🏻‍♀️🙇🏻‍♀️

Who's The Teaser Now?

»»►In this scenario I like to think [Name] has been a servant of Cale’s for years. Like, she saw him when the two were teens , and was like “Well damn, hot momma. You lookin’ fine tonight,” like a high school girl drooling for her crush. And the rest is history.

»»►Having [Name] flirt with you for YEARS makes you unreactive to her remarks; immune to any of her advances. But one day, because he was feeling festive, he decided to reply to one of [Name]’s many flirty lines.

»»►And let me tell you. [Name]. Was. SHOCKED. Pikachu style.

»»►Now we jump to the present.

Cale was on his way to relax in Heris Village, where his villa resided, after the battle with Arm in the Hais Islands. Only to have it disturbed not even two minutes into the carriage ride back to the Henituse Territory, by none other than [Name] the Simp.

She first started soft, asking if he was alright after the battle: “You didn’t get injured, right?” To: “Well, just WHO would even hurt such a refined gentleman such as yourself, Oh young and handsome Master Cale?”

Now Cale was starting to get pissed. He just wanted a nice, AND QUITE, ride back. But no, he just had to hear your annoying voice…. 

Oh. An idea just crossed his mind.

Let’s see if this will resolve his problem, even if there is a possibility of it backfiring. 

“Y’know Master Cale, every girl in the Henituse Territory is now DYING to see your pretty face. Especially after getting that fancy title of yours. A title, which I must say, is rather fitting of you, young master. Honestly, I’m so lucky that I can just admire it whenever you call me. If you asked me to marry you I wouldn’t even think for a second and just say yes. Truly, a dream come true!” [Name] was making his, On’s, Hong’s, and Raon’s ears fall off with how much she was talking.

Ah! Wait a second. This was the perfect opportunity! 

“Oh yeah?” Cale started, “If I were to fall on my knee and ask you for your hand, would you accept in a heartbeat?” He asked as one curious gaze and two unsure gazes fell on him.

[Name] just looked at Cale, unsure at why he was asking. Usually he just orders her to do something to get her away, or simply ignores her altogether.

“Uhh-uhh..yeah?” She answered.

“Then you don’t mind if I do this then,” he said, getting down on one knee in the moving carriage. 

At this point [Name]’s eyes were wide, almost to the point they might pop out her sockets.

Cale took her right hand and looked up to meet her eyes. With a wide smile he asked, “[Name] [Last Name], will you do me the honor of making me the happiest man alive, and give me your hand in marriage?” He finished.

The children looked at him like he had a loose screw. Had he finally a lost it after not getting a break to be a slacker? Was this his limit? [Name] had an unreadable expression. Almost concerning.

Did I go too far? Cale asked in his head while assessing her expression. What scares me the most is that she isn’t saying anything cheezy inturn, a sweat drop apparent in his face, falls.

“AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!”

A screeching yell was heard from inside the compartment. The carriage stopped and those outside came running to aid–in what their opinion was a threat–those inside the carriage.

“Young Master Cale! Is everyone alright?! What happened—!?” Choi Han asked in a hurry, swinging the door of the carriage wide open, sword in hand. Only to see Cale kneeling on the floor of the carriage with a [Name] crunched up on the corner of the seat opposite to the door.

What happened? 

All everyone could see was a girl that looked like she was dying slowly in a corner, and a young Master that probably fell from his seat after the carriage suddenly stopped. 

To not make things more awkward, Cale spoke.

“Ah, you guys,” he got their attention, “go back. [Name] just saw a bug. So there is no need to worry.” He skillfully lied, sitting back up.

“...if you insist,” getting a hesitant response from Choi Han, and some worried looks from the others. 

All the while Ron is just smiling in the back. We all know he knows what happened.

Going back to their positions, the carriage started moving again. Only this time, it was quiet. Just how Cale liked it. He looked at the source of the blissful peace to see the girl still in a crouched up position.

“Huff, where did that ‘say yes in a heartbeat’ go?” Cale asked the girl, getting that last remark for his triumph.

In response, all he heard was a muffled “Shut up…!” from her.

Red hues adorned her ears, indicating she was blushing. She was trying so hard to hide her face with her arms and legs too.

How cute.

No wonder [Name] enjoyed doing this to him, being the one on the teaser end is certainly amusing.

He smiled, looking out the window, deciding not to tease her anymore to save her from more embarrassment.

He should turn this into a hobby after seeing that expression on her face.

Hello, lovelies! I hope you enjoy this. Surprisingly I wrote this in two days...fascinating.

𝚃𝚊𝚐𝚜: @lureslutes, @cruzerforce4256, @narcise63, @potterhead-whovian-117, @margieee194, @zenix108, @vimenorie, @lunavixia, @potterhead-whovian-117, @alithurism, @matchalyne, @minteaspoon, @dontknowhowtousethis, @valacz29, @rainalovesouya, @vimenorie, @lunavixia, @ru8yx. Re-blog or Comment if you want to get added into the Tag section for Lout of Count's Family for more updates.

Lout Of Count's Family Master-List

Master-List

[onlyrains]

[6:35pm]

“change your clothes.” eunji said as you manage to bandage your little wound.

“i'm good, really.”

“your shirt soaked in orange juice, smarty. my dad won't let you sit for dinner in those.”

you sigh. this sleepover was everything you talked about since last month. like, you finally have to experience it like other people. moreover, you'd stay at your close-knit friend's! moreover, she has a brother you've always had a crush on!

he is the one and only, school's top athlete, heeseung. but you knew you almost ruined it with hurting yourself in the kitchen then spilled the orange drink all over your shirt.

“just get anything from my wardrobe over there,” eunji pointed as she walks to the bathroom, bringing the first aid box you previously needed with her. “i need to pee,”

“is it okay?”

“it's okay!” her voice echoed in bathroom walls.

you open the thin door to see piles of clothes neatly arranged. except the brown shirt on top shelf that caught your attention first. that is your best and only option. you reach for the flannel shirt and wear it without any mind.

the bathroom door opened, “let's go.” eunji held your wrist to go back to the dining room.

receiving a no reaction from her, you assume that she approved the oversized shirt you wear. although it is like three times your size, even the collar is barely touched your shoulder and revealing the tanktop strap underneath, you have no problem with it. your nose already welcoming its soft scent and you love it. maybe eunji have worn it and spray a perfume.

“it smells so good!” you commented when eunji's mom busy with plating her food.

“oh, you're back. your finger's okay?”

you nod. “it's fine. don't worry.”

“have a sit then. you need to try my best cookings, darling,”

“mom,” eunji sighed after seeing her mom basicslly jumped on her toes, followed by the chuckle of her dad while preparing the cutlery.

you laugh and help to arrange the plates a bit before sitting down on the available chair. ready to dig in whatever your best friend's mom serve.

“sorry, 'm late!”

everyone turned their head on the same direction, ready to welcome the tallest person in the house. oh, there he is. with his signature beanie, he looks so attractive as always except now you're seeing him in his house. his demeanor suddenly feels so domestic as he greets his parents first before turn to his sister and you.

one eyebrow raised when his gaze met yours. “oh?”

“don't mind us.” eunji quickly responds. oblivious with the loud thumping on your chest.

“i didn't know your friend will be join us today.”

“now you know.” eunji rolled her eyes while you bit your inner lower lip.

you don't know how to react naturally. your forever crush is sitting right next to you, stealing glances. he facing his father at the end of the table makes it hard for him to reach for the food.

“let me help,” you said nervously with a quiet voice you've ever had. he hands you his plate with a smirk plastered on his lips. noticing your nervousness around him.

“thank you.” he whispers teasingly.

lucky-unluckily to you, eunji have been too focus to argue with her parent about their vacation plan to jeju next week. leaving you and heeseung alone with a strange tension between you two.

or maybe not for heeseung. it's just you.

“is that my shirt?” he whispered again.

your eyes widened by the realization. “oh, i didn't know. i'm so sorry,”

he chuckle at your pikachu shocked face. “easy,” he cut his meat.

“no, really. i'll return it tomorrow.”

“aren't you having a sleep over?”

you nod. “that's fine, i'll wash it and return it tomorrow by—”

“you can keep it.”

your eyes widened again. “really?—i mean, no. i'm sorry, it belongs to you.”

he laughs. “it looks good on you.”

you freeze, almost had a heart attack while look at him with a big doe eyes. he reciprocated, expecting that you would offer another apology bar. but you didn't.

his gaze lingers without knowing those big eyes will be his weakness from now on.

a/n: my first kpop drabble is finally here!!!! i just feel to try something new and here i am! hope you enjoy it<3 btw i got prompt from my lovely mutual @star2fishmeg ❤️

[lonelypep]

every smash bros character ranked by how good of a cook i think they’d be.

82: piranha plant

eating this dish will kill you instantly. turns out he spit some poison in there while no one was looking. and yeah, that sucks, but if you even accepted a meal from this guy i think you have bigger problems

81: ridley.

let’s be real, if you let this guy into the kitchen, you made a huge mistake. it’s like john mulaney’s horse in a hospital sketch: you never know what he’s gonna do next. you’re too focused on getting him out.

80: king k rool.

king k rool is many things. a king, a pirate, a scientist. but he is not a cook. he’ll try, but he has literally no clue what he’s even doing in the kitchen.

79: yoshi

yoshi will give you a dish and you’ll be like “what the fuck is this” and he’ll talk about how it was made from the finest newborns of his home planet. i’m deciding to ignore it but it’s really nagging at me.

78: sonic

sonic shouldn’t be on this list. because he wouldn’t make you any food. he’ll go to the local sonic and get a burger in about 3 minutes. it sucks. disqualified.

77: pac man

what can i say. it tastes like literal plastic. i don’t even wanna know how he made it. i’ll give it back to him but the nice thing about pac man is he wouldn’t give a shit.

76: bowser jr.

fuck this guy. he rage quit at making a grilled cheese. now there’s a literal canonball in the stove. now no one else can use it!! this is what happens when you spoil kids.

75: pikachu/pichu

these two are in the same category since they’d make the same thing. they’d get store bought french fries and fry them with lighting outside. it’s consistent, it works, just not really filling. and they don’t know how to make anything else.

74. wario

don’t get me wrong: he knows what he’s doing. he’s the burger king of smash. he’s this low because the burger is the most unhealthy shit you’ll ever have. eating it gave you chronic diarrhea, gastrointestinal issues, and permanently damaged your taste buds. but god fucking damn was it a good burger.

73. hero

he gave you a single piece of bread with butter on it. it’s not bad but…really dude?

72: olimar

he didn’t make you a bad meal, in fact it was one of the best here. but that’s because he didn’t make you something. it was the pikmin and he’s trying to pass it off as his own and the pikmin don’t know because they don’t speak english. 0/10: not fucking cool dude.

71: kazuya

honestly? i don’t trust this guy. i was too intimidated to even ask his name. from what i can gather no one even invited him to the party he just showed up and made a mediocre meal. what’s weird: someone came into the kitchen and claimed this guy killed their whole family. we never saw that guy again. needless to say, kazuya wasn’t invited to the afterparty.

70: link (botw)

don’t get me wrong here, link is a five star chef. he’s just really unsanitary. apparently he cut the meat and vegetables with the same sword he killed calamity ganon with. i don’t wanna taste that guy!! have you seen him?? not to mention he pulled the meal out of his pants. i don’t even know how it fit in there.

69: inkling

she made a pancake and i thought it was good! but i absolutely can’t condone this. inkling left so much fucking weird slime and shit all over my house. and got really competitive when she heard i was getting meals from everyone else. i hope they’re all ok.

68: ROB

it was so processed. the most processed food i’ve ever had in my entire life. it’s not his fault, rob is a great guy. but this tasted like literally nothing.

67: ice climbers

when they told me they were making dessert, i trusted them. but i let someone else taste test first. my best friend was sent to the hospital because of tongue frostbite. didn’t even know that was a thing. i made the ice climbers pay for it (they’re fucking loaded)

66: villager

he made isabelle do it. and she made something great! but i’m not giving this cretin credit for having the money to afford a five star chef. you don’t deserve it because you sold a shit ton of tarantulas villager!!

65: lucario.

dude got really mad and destroyed my kitchen. he’s REALLY lucky he got the burger PERFECTLY cooked.

64: male byleth.

like this dude knows how to cook. he can barely make chicken nuggets. he has to eat in the school cafeteria simply because he never learned how to cook a simple meal. but he’s a really nice guy. total himbo. love him.

63: ryu

i asked this guy what he likes to eat. big mistake. he then went on to say that his training regiment doesn’t condone copious indulgence (his words) and he lives off of nothing but protein shakes. you do you i guess.

62-61: fox/falco

these two went into the kitchen and came out with weird alien food. i didn’t eat it but everyone else seemed to enjoy it

60: greninja

when he first came out i was so excited. he came out with the most finely sliced food i had ever seen in my entire life. but it was soooo watered down. everything tasted like celery. how do you make crab taste like celery?? how??!

59-58: simon/richter

these guys both made the same exact fish recipe, came out at the same time, and proceeded to fight each other. i didn’t get to try any 😭

57-49: every fire emblem character.

genuinely, i can’t tell these guys apart. or their food choices. honestly, my bad. i’m sure they’re good. but where do i even start.

48: sheik

she doesn’t know how to cook. she kidnapped someone else. normally i wouldn’t put someone like that this high but a. i have gender envy b. it’s for the greater good (or so she said)

47: cloud

dude made a great sandwich but he kept screaming random noises while he did. personally, i’m just glad he managed not to destroy the kitchen. that’s a first here.

46: captain falcon

he promised he’d pick up some pizza but got into a car crash on the way there. eventually he got there after the car crash was all sorted out, but got into ANOTHER on the way back. i’m honestly kind of impressed

45: steve

steve could cook an absolutely fucking KILLER meal. he’ll even offer to do it for free. but you shouldn’t let him under any circumstances. he took 13 hours gathering materials and while the wait was, arguably, worth it, i never want to experience it again. (side note: we asked captain falcon to get some pizza while waiting which led to the aforementioned entry)

44: sora

sora doesn’t know how to cook but he’s by far the biggest name at this party. everyone fucking loves him. he’s friends with GOOFY. this dude hangs out with GOOFY. this guys has hung out with GOOFY AND jack sparrow. bad food but i could listen to this guy talk for hours about his story. i’m sure i’ll understand it all.

43-40: pokémon trainer

this guys organization is fucking atrocious. if he can actually get his shit together he’ll cook up some nice vegetarian meals, but that’s a big if.

HONORABLE MENTION: sans mii gunner

sans undertale is a world renowned, famous chef. his recipes are simple, but cooked with such love, care, and finess it turns a simple cheeseburger into a masterpiece. sans undertale would easily top this list. sans mii gunner is not sans undertale. he bought the real sans’ cookbook and thinks he’s some kind of cooking genius. and sure he’s got the recipes but none of the skill to actually make it.

39-38: samus/zero suit samus

hooray! we’re out of bad cook options now. samus is a great cook, but she’s so used to her alien delicacies she doesn’t know how to cook on earth anymore. shame, but i trust her to produce something edible.

37: shulk

he is really good at the grill. unfortunately, he refused to put a shirt on and made everyone a little uncomfy. that being said, he showed me the beach boys and i had never listened to them before. so he gets points.

36-35: pit/dark pit

these guys don’t know how to cook but the flew into the sky and killed some mythical bird for everyone to eat. i couldn’t have any, i’m pescatarian, but everyone else loved it.

34: bayonnetta

she opened a portal to a waffle house and a bunch of demons came flying out. she didn’t make anything, but honestly, absolutely legendary experience that was.

33: duck hunt

you’d think a dog wouldn’t bring anything meaningful. this would be false. that is the freshest duck i’ve ever seen in my entire life. (didn’t eat it: pescatarian)

32: king dedede

he made his legendary homemade mashed potatoes. everyone loved them. so creamy… weirdly perfect. too bad i hate the monarchy. sorry bud.

31: meta knight

meta knight is a great cook and should be higher. but i don’t want him to be. because he’s so fucking pretentious. he sliced all the food in front of everyone and wouldn’t shut up about radiohead. hate this guy.

30-29: daisy/peach

these two put all their private chefs together to make something for everyone. great catering, great food, but they didn’t technically make it. love them.

28: mewtwo

as if mewtwo wouldn’t just read someone’s mind and cook something. but it’s not mewtwo’s food…so…. sorry dude you cheated.

27: dark samus

she really surprised me here. she cooked up the most exquisite alien delicacies i’ve ever tasted in my entire life. should be higher. but unfortunately, i had to get a space parasite removed from my system by regular samus. honestly though… it was worth it.

26: ganon

he was rude to everyone about his cooking skills and wouldn’t stop bragging. asshole am i right? but surprised everyone by grilling his god damn heart out. he’s a bad try hard but like go off i guess.

25: isabelle

she’s trying her absolute fucking best and she deserves the world here. amazing cook, we need to save her from the island.

24: little mac

dude went so hard. brought new york pizza ALL THE WAY FROM NEW YORK. ok, not literally, but he made a damn good pizza

23: snake

full disclosure: snake doesn’t know how to cook. also no one knows he’s an agent. but he has to cook to blend in so you BEST BELIEVE this man is going to COOK like his life depends on it.

22-20: young link, ness, and lucas

all these guys are incredibly mature for their age. surprised everyone at this party. i had deep and philosophical conversations with all of them about appreciating life. i fucking cried. oh and they made everyone sandwiches, and even took my pescatarianism into account.

19: rosalina

she brought weird space ice cream and i felt my mind expanding as i ate it. love her.

18: mr game and watch

he feels like everyone’s dad! and he’s one of those cooks who cooks in front of everyone. dude flung his meals onto everyone’s plates expertly. love him.

17: joker

originally much lower on this list, joker showed up at my house and attempted to make a grilled cheese and made the worst thing i’ve ever taste. then he said something about gru from despicable me and stood in the corner for an hour. originally i had him towards the bottom but then he doordashed five gigantic burgers, ate all of them in one sitting, and then made me an expensive curry that tasted fantastic. dude went hard.

it was at this point i realized i made a mistake with the numbers. like hell if i’m going to fix the whole thing.

22: zelda

she made some weird food but damn was it pretty to look at! crystals, magic power, i mean good vibes all around here.

21-20: pyra and mythra

i feel like i should put them here since they’re confirmed to be good cooks in the game. but between you and me, i didn’t invite them. i’d consider some entries before this to be better cooks but at this point i’ve been working on this list for 8 hours i do not wanna go back and fix things please i mean this whole list is a joke no one should take this seriously

19: banjo and kazooie

these guys can fucking cook. they’ve been living on their own for a while so it makes sense but it still surprises me. they made a really big stew and even brought free puzzle games.

18: wolf

GRILL MASTER. dude knows what he’s doing on that thing. i’ve never seen better spatula work. holy shit.

17: kirby

kirby came in with some weird blonde hair and made some FANTASTIC ribs (that i didn’t have bc i’m pescatarian). weirdly, gordon ramsey went missing the same day…. i’m sure it means nothing.

16: mario

dude made some absolutely spectacular spaghetti. but he kept talking about how great he is and it really off put some people. kinda weird dude.

15: dr mario. dude brought 50 apples to the potluck. guess he doesn’t wanna see anyone in the office. and he didn’t because we ate them all. take that.

14: min min

she brought some soup dumplings which a lot of people hadn’t had! love her. literally fantastic. she had a whole arm for cooking. that’s what we call efficient.

13: ken

he’s kenough. he is amazing at barbecue. he can cook things with his hands, juggle, also he’s just a fun presence. (i made him make fake meat burgers for me)

12: jigglypuff

she showed up with so many pastries. like so many. not only that, but they were decorative!! she put so much work into that. love her.

11: luigi

he tried to make spaghetti like his brother but a literal fucking meteor slammed into his pot and cracked it. tough luck. then he offered to pay and i refused, but went out and got me some really expensive spaghetti anyways! he’s such a nice guy!! shouldn’t be this high… but i love this guy so much. he’s trying his hardest and i respect that.

10: toon link

toon link didn’t actually make anything. but his mom came and made everyone a salad. and honestly! his mom is some great company. she had so many interesting stories about his childhood. honestly she added so much to the function

9: terry

he is the BARBECUE MASTER!!!! literally what the hell how is he so good! everyone at the party kinda stereotyped him but he’s really really progressive with his views which you wouldn’t think for a big barbecue muscle guy in a baseball cap but everyone loved this guy.

8: mega man

the MASTER CHEF!! literally. he was on master chef. he uses thin round blades to slice vegetables, heats things perfectly, has an instance knowledge of spices, just damn. this guy knows what he’s doing.

7-6: bowser and donkey kong

common misconception: everyone thinks these two would have no idea how to cook. but these are FAMILY GUYS HERE!! they’re providing for absolutely gigantic families, these fuckers know how to make a sandwich and they did. initially they started off making separate sandwiches but they have a really similar recipe and decided to work together. and i really respect that. also turns out peach is just bowser’s kids’ babysitter.

5: palutena.

everyone expected her to show up with some absolutely mystical food. naturally, she showed up with the literal ambrosia of the gods. holy shit. unfortunately, she didn’t put as much effort into it as she could’ve.

4: sephiroth.

ok this guy didn’t really cook anything amazing. but his sheer fucking commitment to the vibe is literally legendary. this man has a long as sword he cut 10 veggies at a time with. he heat them with magic world ending fire. when he was done in the kitchen he surrounded himself with fire and gazed menacingly at me. his sheer commitment to the edge lord aesthetic is truly exemplary.

3: incineroar.

THE GRILLING GOAT!! this man is a grill master. he was prepared to grill ANYTHING. and i mean anything. fish, veggies, meat, fucking grilled cheese. love this guy.

2: wii fit trainer

she made the most well balanced and healthy salad i’ve ever had. and she made it taste extraordinary. she can be a little intense about fitness but i’ve never had a healthier meal in my life. it immediately lowered my extremely high cholesterol.

1. diddy kong

he’s about ten. he made you a pb&j. he had homework to do, but he made you a pb&j. he didn’t have to. he wasn’t asked to. he just wanted to make you a pb&j. he could’ve done anything else but he made you a pb&j. what heartless monster wouldn’t accept it.

[badslittlemuffin]

hiii, saw your post abt wanting requests so here i am :)

can you do denki x childhood best friend reader, where the reader is rlly pretty and ppl wonder why she’s even friends w him and denki is secretly insecure abt it

the reader always reassures him but he suggests that they stop being friends bc the reader is “wasting their potential”

you can add whatever you’d like but can you make it friends to lovers plsss

TANK U FOR THE REQUESTSTTT

hehehehhe i LOOOVVVE denki hes so silly hehehehe i sadly do not have the problem of being super pretty so this might be a little cringey and #cliche (cliche is my thing wdym)

insecure!denki x reader, childhood friends to lovers, slight angst, FLUFFY FLUFF, twink denki (jkjkjk)

wc: 1.05k

Denki had always secretly wondered why you were friends with him.

Sure, you had been friends since you were little kids, practically growing up together, but that little voice in the back of his mind had always made him wonder. Denki presented himself as a very confident, flirty guy, but that wasn't exactly true. He was just about as insecure as you could get. But how could you not when you're friends with one of the most beautiful girls out there?

Now it was no secret—to everyone but you, apparently—that Denki was hopelessly in love with you. How could he not? Not only were you gorgeous, but you were one of the kindest people he had ever met. Your personality shone bright, always managing to brighten the mood of any room you walked into. Your smile was like honey, your eyes an endless pool he could drown in.

He had joked about himself looking like a wet dog next to you multiple times, but every time you managed to get the most beautiful smile on your face, reassuring him that he was very handsome. He never quite believed you, but he didn't tell you that.

As has been made clear, Denki was hopelessly in love with you, but he would rather die before telling you that, so instead he continued with his stupid, flirty attitude, asking out random girls he passed by in the UA halls. And every time, he got turned down. He made it a huge joke at first, but over time, it started to tear down his already crumbling self-esteem. It had become a joke in the class of 1-A, how horribly Denki would flirt, then get turned down. He laughed along with the jokes, but inside, it stung. He had already been made a joke, being an absolute dunce when he overused his quirk, so adding that on top did not do wonders for him.

It had been a particularly bad week for the blonde, having overused his quirk multiple times during training, his head pounded from being fried. The day prior, he had been hanging out with you when some upperclassmen had decided to come by and try their shot with you, completely ignoring Denki standing right beside you, saying how much better you could do than a loser like him.

He took that to heart. Why did you hang out with him? He wasn't exactly the smartest in the class (cough cough 20th in the class cough cough), and he definitely wasn't the strongest, seeing as he fried his brain on the usual, and he didn't exactly consider himself to be the best looking. Bakugo had once said he looked like a twink for crying out loud! But that was Bakugo talking, so it couldn't exactly be relied upon.

But still, he wondered. He sat curled on his bed, his favorite Pikachu stuffed animal in hand. He wiped at his red eyes, listening to beabadoobee on repeat, when there was a soft knock at his door. He paused his music, pulling out his earphones and tiptoeing over to the door. He opened it slowly to be met with your beautifully concerned face. You slid your way into his room, closing the door quietly behind you.

Your concerned eyes fell across him, taking in his red eyes and tousled hair. He had been ignoring you all day, and you could tell something was wrong. Your soft hands found his, gently leading him over to his bed. You sat criss-cross, looking up at him. "What's going on? Did I do something wrong?" Your voice, like a melody, cut through his mind, the care and concern dripping from each note tugging at his heart.

He shook his head quickly, "No, it's not your fault, ever." He mumbled, his voice shook quietly. "It's just..." he hesitated with his words, "why are you friends with me?"

Your eyes widened immediately, confusion etching itself onto your face. "What? Be... friends with you? Why would I not?" You tilted your head in confusion, and his heart practically caved in right then. His breath stuttered. "You heard those guys yesterday... I kind of am a loser. I'm not super strong, definitely not that smart after all the years of frying my brain, and let's be honest, not that attractive either..."

Your brows furrowed as you tried to comprehend his words, "Okay... well, if any of that was true, what does that have to do with me being your friend or not?" He sighed, running his hand through his hair. He decided to let the confession, that he had been holding back for years, past his lips. "Because I like you, Y/N. More than a friend."

Understanding and realization crossed your face instantly, then confusion once more. "That still doesn't answer my question." His eyes widened in disbelief. Were you seriously still confused? He opened his mouth to respond, but nothing escaped his throat except a small noise of confusion.

You laughed, a real laugh, something straight out of a movie, like a beautiful harmony with life itself. His heart almost stopped right there. You grinned, looking up at him like he was worth looking at, like he meant something. "I like you too, silly." Yeah, his brain was about to short-circuit.

His mouth stood agape, his cheeks reddening. Your grin turned into something more sincere, filled with understanding and love. "You shouldn't listen to what stupid guys like them say. They were just trying to sweet-talk their way into my pants and taking you down in the process. You are worth much more than that, Denki." Your soft, warm hands cupped his cheeks. "I've always thought you were very strong and very handsome. Smarts aren't based purely on your grades, but also on your empathy and kindness, which you've always showcased, even in your own silly ways."

Your words melted his insides, his heart hammering in his chest as he processed what you said. Had you always been this good with words? He felt himself fall for you even harder. "Thank you..." He finally murmured, his gaze drowning in yours. He would drown in them as many times as needed just for an ounce of your affection.

You smiled brighter still, and for once, that little voice in the back of his mind went completely quiet.

WAIT GUYS WHY DID I KINDA OF COOK WITH THIS.... lets not talk about how this is my longest one yet but focus on HOW MUCH OF A WRITING ROLL IM ON??? IVE NEVER HAD THIS MANY REQUESTS HOLY MOLLY- UHMMM ANYWAYS I HOPE YOU LIKEDDD!!

[studentinpursuitofclouds]

Hear me out, we all know the farmer is freakishly strong. I mean our characters is casually walking around with bags fuck of ores, fish, vegetable and other shi- but What I wanna talk about is the farmer tools. A normal picaxe is heavy but a gold one is even heavier! So image how heavy the iridum picaxe is. I always headcanon the the iridum tools being a mass of weight that the player just casually swings and walks around with. To the farmer its just tools, to everyone else its like moving a truck. But the thing is no one knows that, everyone in the village thinks the farmer just painted thier tools purple. (Only clint knows)

So time skip the farmer and bachelor/ette are together and happily married. The farmer is either farming, mining, or practicing their sword. Whatever that may be they are distracted, the farmer ask thier spouse to bring them one of their tools only for the spouse to struggle like, it is phyiscally Impossible to move the tool. Which of course the farmer helps them but they now see the farmer in a new light.

Certain characters act out, I now alex would be mad at himself that he is struggling to pick up a tool that their spouse is casually swinging around.

Maru, abby and harvey would think the farmer is a super human and try to make sure they are ok because how are they casually lifting those tool all day without a sweat.

Oooh, i like this! Thank you for sharing this headcanon ❤️

Iridium is indeed quite a heavy metal, so lifting, for example, a watering can made of this pure metal is definitely not an easy task. So the reaction by the spouses (at least some of them) will be amusing, heh...

_________________________________________

I think Alex will not so much act out, but will be truly amazed by his spouse's strength. Whatever training they use, it works pretty well, for to lift such a heavy object like that.... The athlete will look at his beloved Farmer with a puppy eyes full of determination, and say loudly, "Teach me!" (Farmer talks about their raw fish and seaweed diet)

Honestly, Harvey had caught more bizarre things with his spouse that the poor doctor didn't have the energy to react anymore. Farmer was on their seaweed diet, their wounds healed after eating cake/the next day, and so on. Iridium tools that even six people could barely lift? Eh, just another day in the life of Harvey and his chaotic spouse. He'll just accept it and not look for a logical explanation.

Shane is unlikely to pay much attention. Not to say he's weak himself, as I think Shane's arms are definitely pumped (he used to carry boxes of Joja products almost every day), but his spouse carries huge bags of seeds almost as big as him at least twice a day. And that's not even mentioning the constant adventures. So naturally Farmer is going to be very strong, iridium or not.

Sebastian knows full well how heavy iridium is (he may not be absorbed in science like his half-sister, but he knows the table of chemical elements perfectly well), so will make a surprise Pikachu face when he realizes that Farmer's tools are made of pure iridium. "You mean.. and a watering can too?" Hardcore, Sebby likes it. Although the emo himself realizes that he's no use in tossing Farmer tools.

"My soul, what did our local blacksmith even make that axe out of?" The answer says nothing to Elliott, as the writer has slightly forgotten his chemistry lessons. That's not a problem for him, because there's always the library available. Elliott is sure to be shocked at the results: iridium is 3 times heavier than iron and 2 times heavier than lead! He knew that farm work would keep anyone in shape, but to have that kind of strength....

Sam kept trying to lift Farmer's scythe, but after about ten minutes he gave up, collapsing to the ground all sweaty with exhaustion. Like trying to move rocks, honestly.... "Babe, what's it made of?" Well, the word 'iridium' wouldn't explain much to the musician, since he's clueless about the metal, but take Farmer's word for it that it's definitely heavier than iron. Oh wow, his spouse is so strong....

Of course Haley's spouse is strong - did you saw how they opened a pickle jar for her without even breaking a sweat! The blonde-haired young woman says nothing to the fact that Farmer's tools are pure iridium. Some kind of heavy metal, yep, she's pretty sure of that, so she won't even try to lift a tool for her spouse - she just can't physically.

On the one hand, Leah is surprised to see Farmer so strong, on the other hand.... honestly, why should she be surprised? Farmer had easily lifted her when she was in the Cindersap forest trying to pull a fruit from the branch of a tall tree. She had heard that iridium was a very heavy metal, but her spouse also did heavy exercise all the time.

Penny couldn't even lift an iron pickaxe for her spouse, so she won't even try with an iridium one (she'll only hurt her back). Of course Farmer is super strong, they almost daily break rocks with a pickaxe on their farm, chop trees and carry a bunch of ripe crops like pumpkins and giant melons, so it's not a revelation to her.

Maru almost fainted at the realization that the metal on Farmer's axe was not painted iron, but iridium, a chemical element she knew well. At the very least, it's heavy as heck! How?! How does a Farmer lift that axe with ease?! She need do some experiments... Uh, just measure their strength, nothing more!

It doesn't work, no matter how much Emily tried to lift the iridium axe. She couldn't even move the tool a centimeter, let alone get the axe off the ground for even for a few seconds. So of course she will be very pleasantly surprised that Farmer picked up the axe without difficulty, but like many other bachelors/ettes, will not pay much attention (farm work is hard, no wonder her partner is strong).

Abigail already had several theories about her spouse's extraordinary strength when she realized they were carrying iridium tools without any problems. The first was that the Farmer wasn't quite human, or not human at all. The second one - magic, or rather the spell or potion that gives them such power. Either way, it's all very intriguing and she will (respectfully) ask her spouse a lot of questions.

_________________________________________

So yeah, thanks again for sharing your idea! Have a wonderful day ❤️

[jadeazora]

It's been said pretty much for years now that they planned a series for Netflix, and the leaks confirmed it. Eight episodes were planned for a release this year. It's live-action. This isn't Concierge.

Misc. HZ leaks. (Info potentially subject to change)

Liko and Roy are 13 and 12 respectively. Still canon to me.

Dot initially wasn't planned. Quaxly would have gone to Liko or Roy.

Friede is 20s-ish while Orla is 18. (Finalized versions seem to be older, just given the previous flashback in Ep18 has a 4-6yr old Liko, and Orla already appeared to be an adult there)

Friede betrays the RVT and joins the Explorers, something about a missing brother? (Which has never been alluded to, so doubt.)

Original six Heroes were supposed to be Blastoise, Pachirisu, Rayquaza, Entei, Moltres, and Zeraora.

2yr timeskip after acquiring all 6 Heroes

Two Terapagos, the one from Laqua and the Area Zero one (The latter is deceased.)

Three year storyline intended, so perhaps ending in 2025? That said, Terastal Training arc wasn't originally intended so might go on for longer. According to the leaks, ZA was intended for this year, so they might have pushed back the anime a bit too.

Was originally intended to be a movie, with Ash returning for an SV series (with recurring characters like Leon and Goh), but that was scrapped and HZ became the full series instead.

Ash was intended to have a Capsakid, Klawf, and Fuecoco.

Still set in Ashime verse.

A new movie was planned too. Codename Bauer. Was set to be released in 2023, but might either be in development hell or be cancelled. New Pokemon named Aperon, with the main protagonist being a new character named Akari. It's set in modern-day Kanto and the featured Mythical Pokémon of the plot is Mew. The idea was that the film will touch modern society problems, like cyber bullying.

There was also sequel to Detective Pikachu called "The Great Detective Pikachu" set to be released this year. We don't know if the project is still ongoing or cancelled. I also don't know if this is like a proper image leak, or just something a fan threw together in response to the new information.

Another new anime, code name RELOAD.

This is an all-ages anime series co-produced with Twin Engine (TE), a planning and production company affiliated with Studio Colorido.

12 episodes over the course of a year, 21min each.

The 12 episodes will be split into 4 groups of 3 episodes each, with event screenings in Japanese theaters, and have a wide distribution across online streaming platforms.

Originally planned for release in 2023, current status unknown.