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Update on the French protests: we've had a well-known expert in contemporary political history call the situation we're in "the worst democracy crisis France has known since [the end of the 4th Republic]" and meanwhile the government is trying its hardest to maintain a façade of normal functioning by a) hiding from protesters, b) hiding protesters from view, and c) banning saucepans and other means of drawing attention to the protests that are being swept under the rug.
I mean casserolades are an old tradition in this country but they wouldn't have been needed if Macron &co hadn't started almost systematically banning protests in entire districts of the towns they visit and setting up police roadblocks to prevent peaceful protesters from going anywhere near them. (Too bad because these are the kinds of images the media get (these 2 are from Le Monde) when protesters get to talk to Macron <3) :
Protesters corralled away where they can be easily ignored started banging pots and pans so the protest could at least be heard in the background of TV footage, and then pans started being confiscated.
French courts have repeatedly struck down the bans as illegal but police prefects keep churning new bans out every time Macron goes somewhere anyway, trying to publish them at the last minute so there's no time for a judicial review. (I saw a sign at a protest last week that went "Stop with all the bans we no longer have time to disobey all of them")
After boldly banning saucepans by calling them "portable sonorous devices" last week, today a police prefecture banned "festive gatherings of a musical nature" in a town Macron will be visiting tomorrow. They're (ab)using counter-terrorist legislation for all this, so these days we get to read unheard-of court rulings that go like "We are suspending this prefectural decree as we do not consider festive gatherings of a musical nature to pose a significant terrorist threat to the President."
If Macron had people showing up in support I don't think we would see so many pissy protest bans because then the media could show backers vs. opponents and things would look normal (and not like 70% of the country is very pissed off with Macron). But there's not much for them to show if they don't show the angry people banging pans and it clearly rankles Macron—we learnt yesterday that he sent a letter to 200,000 political supporters of his essentially ordering them to start making appearances all over the country, to show they are "proud of what you are and of what our country has become [since I got elected]." That seems a bit desperate.
For months Macron &co have been predicting that people would get tired of taking to the streets in large numbers, and now that people are going like—right, let's try a new strategy, small local protests greeting gov members everywhere they go!—we're hearing a clear "no not like that, that's not what we meant :l " reaction from the government.
They've also been trying the strategy of announcing stuff at the last minute, like on Monday the Minister of Education announced at noon that he would visit a higher learning institution in Lyon 2 hours later, and a hundred of protesters still showed up and tried to force their way into the building. They were held off by cops using tear gas and trying to block entrances (there's a pic that made me smile, showing cops trying to barricade university gates with garbage bins—how the tables have turned...!) and the Minister ended up not showing up and moving on to the next step of his schedule (protesters tried to follow him there but police vans were blocking the street.)
The first half of the video is at the uni in Lyon; the second half is in Paris later that day. When he returned to Paris the Minister was greeted by protesters with saucepans at the train station, it's like a national relay race of protesting at times. He had to go back through the train to leave via the other end of the platform under police escort so as not to meet any protesters (god forbid).
Macron commented that this was "uncivic" behaviour and I agree, civic behaviour on the part of gov members would be to at least face the people they choose to fuck over, instead of hiding behind cops and fleeing. Obviously Macron was condemning the 'uncivic' protesters though, and the Minister said he felt "physically threatened" by the "violence of [the protesters'] speech" which is a shit thing to say considering on the same day that he was mildly inconvenienced by having to take a different exit and felt physically endangered by words, yet another protester was mutilated after being shot at by police with a rubber bullet. Not a peep about this incident (or previous ones) from the government. The Minister of Education never even condemned that time high schoolers trying to protest got tear gassed and threatened with riot guns by cops in front of their school earlier this month.
But while people continue protesting despite the actual violence from cops, our ministers are looking pretty scared of citizens banging pots and pans. Here's a list of official visits that got cancelled "for safety reasons" (saucepan terrorism) in the past week:
1. Minister P. NDiaye cancelled a visit in Lyon 2. Minister F. Braun cancelled a visit to Evrard Hospital 3. Minister Delegate O. Klein cancelled a visit in Bobigny 4. Minister Delegate O. Grégoire cancelled a visit in La Baule 5. Minister S. Guerini cancelled a visit in Castelnau 6. Secretary of State B. Couillard cancelled a visit in Rochefort 7. Minister S. Retailleau cancelled a visit to the Paris Saclay University (electricity trade unionists cut the power in the building she was supposed to inaugurate, so) 8. Minister C. Grandjean cancelled a visit in Toulouse (this article says it was probably because the visit was quite near a big highway protest where protesters among other things were building a concrete wall on a national road)
In the same bullshitting vein as "portable sonorous devices", gov spokespeople have been insisting that visits aren't being cancelled, ministers are just "adjusting the course of their trips" which is funny to me. I guess we never beheaded any royalty we just adjusted the course of their necks. I also read a newspaper article that made me laugh, that went like "Minister cancels visit; trade unions disappointed" and I thought it was because the cancelled visit was a meeting with the unions which they wouldn't get to have, but the article said it was actually because they had a good protest planned and wouldn't get to hold it...
Watching protesters mess with the government in small ways on a daily basis has been good for morale—on Twitter the hashtags #IntervillesMacron and #IntervillesduZbeul popped up (zbeul = chaos, mess, and Intervilles was a TV game show that aired for over 50 years, where French cities competed against one another in goofy challenges). I only mentioned cancellations above, but fun things also happen on non-cancelled government visits, like a Minister having to leave a building via the emergency exit because of protesters blocking the building entrance (which some people argued is worth more points than a cancellation as it's more entertaining):
Various websites were created to keep track of all these smaller protests and to officialise the point system that ranks cities on their efforts to fuck with the government:
(the first symbol means a protest, the second means a casserolade, the last one means protesters managed to get inside a building where a visit was taking place)
(Translation: Ruckus (saucepans, heckling...) 1pt Protest: 1pt Creative action (chasing minister in the woods, etc): 2pts Measures of energy conservation (= power cuts by unions) 3pts Action that leads to a political figure fleeing: 4pts Cancellation of a visit: 5pts — then there's a weighting system where the score is multiplied by 3 if it's a Minister, by 5 if it's the Prime Minister, by 6 if it's Macron.) (I also saw an interesting debate on Twitter this week—since our leaders often embarrass themselves, how should the government's own goals fit into the point system?)
Right now the Hérault department is winning because on top of protests, power cuts and casserolades, protesters greeted Macron with a giant "MACRON FUCK OFF" sign hung from a cliff (!) and took over a highway display so it'd say "Welcome to [region] Butthole Ist"
These past few days I've been discovering unknown French cities (and Ministers) thanks to them showing up in the hashtag after a good protest. I discovered a mediaeval castle I'd never heard of when unions hung banners featuring our most famous revolutionary dates from the castle's battlements. (Two days later, another protest with eloquent banners in the Musée d'Orsay in Paris:)
People are very creative—last week we heard that protesters got prosecuted for giving Macron the finger and insulting him during one of his official visits (< we are a healthy democracy), so protesters in another region tried a more sarcastic approach, and greeted a deputy from Macron's party at a strawberry fair this week with clapping and confetti and "Thank you for making us work 2 more years, thank you for police repression, thank you!" The deputy beat a hasty retreat. Then said he would file a complaint against the harassment and intimidation he had been subjected to. (The tear gas and riot guns and arrests and protest bans are not intimidation of protesters on the other hand. Or the fact that another deputy from his party recently said on TV that they were "ready for war"... They're ready to wage war, but run and hide when people clang saucepans and throw confetti.)
Anyway. I'm enjoying the fact that they can't even attend a small strawberry fair without getting heckled right now. In one of my first posts about the political crisis in March I wrote something like "How will Macron and his gov have any legitimacy to speak about any issues after this?" and it cheers me up to see a lot of people across the country agree that they have no legitimacy to talk about anything, not even the strawberry harvest.
The next nationwide protest is of course for May 1st, but in the meantime it's been really fun following the smaller protest actions all over the place. Members of government & Macron's party keep making whiny statements along the lines of this is terrorist behaviour, we can't go anywhere, why are people not getting tired of fucking with us and the answer is, because it's really entertaining!
This was the last sentence of a recent Le Monde article about Macron's situation and it has such a sinister, end-of-reign tone:
"I'm moving forward," Macron concluded, on April 20th in the Herault department, while behind his back echoed the sound of saucepans.
#frpol#well this is another very long post and it features maybe 40% of all the shit from the past week#like there was another popular hashtag last week that went ''no retraction [of the reform] no olympic games''#and the police prefect of Paris said ''the closer we get to the Olympics the more we will saturate public space with police''#okay! good atmosphere so far
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okay first three episodes thoughts
good
bending is cool as fuck
sozin’s actor does an amazing job at full crazy but calculated
scenery is STUNNING
monk gyatso made me cry. idk why i just saw him and wanted him to give me a hug so bad
APPA ACTUALLY LOOKS GOOD AND NOT LIKE A LITERAL MONSTER
i wasn’t sure how id feel about them showing the air nomad massacre but i think the importsnt thing is that they showed it was a massacre - and that although they can defend themselves, they don’t have the ability to fight back like an organised army would bc they’re pacifists! they attacked a peaceful group
the abandoned fire nation ship in the southern water tribe looks so fucking cool
ARTIST ZUKO???!!! LETS GOOO
Dallas does an amazing job at getting across Zuko’s intense desperation
I actually ended up loving all the Sokka and Suki interactions sm it was so cute and wholesome
Katara is perfect i will kill and die for her
Azula’s opening scene being her manipulating those people trying kill ozai ultimately leading them to getting burned alive by him and smiling - literally so fucking good. she is the best villain in history of forever
really good move having the mechanist (Sai!) and Teo be in Omashu imo. having them destroy the northern Air Temple so carelessly always pissed me off
THE FREEDOM FIGHTERS ARE LITERALLY PERFECT I AM SCREAMINGGGG
I was wondering how they were going to introduce the Mechanist and Jet in a limited amount of episodes but I like how they combined the two stories
Also Sokka absolutely nerding out in the Mechanist’s home is so important to me
Zuko getting has ass beat by that lady for fighting Aang is literally so funny and reminiscent of the goofy aang vs zuko fights we see in season 1 (to be clear: i adore zuko. this is NOT hate on him)
Zuko losing shit about his notebook and trashing his room and then outing himself as a fire bender in Omashu is so perfect. god i love him so much. it’s very season 1 zuko. it’s giving I DONT NEED ANY CALMING TEA!!!
things i was not a fan of: (some of these are a little pedantic i’ll admit)
Exposition is a little is a little janky but i’ll forgive it i guess bc at least it isn’t egregious as The Movie That Shall Not Be Named
Aang leaving just to get fresh air/clear his head and intending to come back is a silly change to me. all i keep thinking about is the storm where we got those epic Zuko and Aang parallels which now doesn’t really work and also takes away a lot of Aang’s depth. A good change adds to the story, but personally this seems to take it away
WHY would they not make Katara the one to bring him back from the avatar state? just seems like a strange choice to me? not saying this from a shipping point at all but that moment is a big step to their bond/friendship especially since they have only just met
Still don’t understand why they made the head of the village Suki’s mum. like i don’t think it’s a terrible choice but they still could have let them have a mother/daughter bond but still let Suki be the leader without any implications of nepotism. it mostly seeems silly
tl;dr - really enjoying it so far!
#avatar the last airbender#netflix atla#netflix avatar#zuko#katara#sokka#aang#suki#iroh#ozai#hattie talks#live action series#hattie's natla ramblings
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The Opposites Attract
Dick Grayson x Reader
Summary: A Head Cannon on which Dick Grayson and Y/n oppose each other yet remain wholly compatible.
Warning: Y/n is depicted as angsty and a little feral. 
Masterlist - Tip Jar
Opposites attract they say.
Yet Dick and Y/n are such polar opposites surely their difference outweigh each other.
Despite it all, the two love birds gravitate each other due to their completing differences.
Extrovert vs. Introvert
Dick is insanely outgoing and is recharged by socialising. His perfect setting is in a crowded rowdy rooms where the conversation moves like wildfire. Wild and Abrupt.
Y/n on the other hand, prefers a quite space with one-on-one conversations.
In typical extraverted fashion. Dick adopts the introverted Y/n and encourages her to step outside her comfort zone and talk to others.
But it’s just not in her nature.
How the hell are you meant to jump into a conversation?
How are you meant to have a say on a topic when three other people are talking over each other to get their 2 cents in?
You gave up almost immediately and retreated back to your safe corner always from the shoulder bashing and elbow jabbing walk way.
Dick was initially disappointed to see you give up so quickly until he noticed that you were carrying on your socialising in your own way.
You sat silently as strangers poured their heart out to you.
Silently nodding and humming in agreement every now and then before the person sighed, thanked you for listening and walked off.
Dick really admires that about you.
Dick: “Need some company.”
Y/n: “Only if you bring me the good vibes.”
Optimist vs. Pessimist
Dick is a buzzing bundle of bountiful energy.
Dick is never short on absurdly positive outcomes despite all odds indicating otherwise.
Why live in a delusional state? You know the realities of life.
And the reality is that life can be shit and it doesn’t turn out well for everyone no matter how much they try or desperately scramble to achieve their hopes.
Hope is pointless.
There is just something obnoxiously wonderful about Dick.
How is it that your boy wonder lights a flame in you that fills you with certainty that all will be right as long as he is here?
You greatly admire how infectious Dicks positivity can be.
Y/n: “Why keep sending them to Arkham only to escape and ruin lives? Might as well just put an end to their burdensome presence.”
Dick: “Oh honey nooooo. Everyone deserves a chance at redemption. Snuffing out the life of a person doesn’t solve the root of the issue.”
Y/n: “Who cares! Nothing matters in the end anyway, we will all die and become obsolete. Only to let the next generation bitch and moan about the inequality of it all.”
Dick: “Ah, my precious little sunshine can be such a downer, yes you can.”
*Condescendingly pinches cheeks*
Secretive vs. Open
Dick just wants the best of both worlds.
To be the figure head for heroism, hope, peace and safety, without an of the consequences of having your image publicly known.
Dick would never want to endanger the lives of those around him due to his passions in crime fighting.
Therefore, he must maintain the secrecy of the bat and the mask.
You, however, don’t understand how or why your boy wonder hides his true identity.
It’s not like Dick Grayson is an every day normal civilian.
He’s a fricken heir to Gotham wealthiest philanthropist.
It’s not like he doesn’t have any privacy on either alter egos.
But the Bats secret is not your own to share.
So instead you live freely by your own rules.
You admit your identities and aren’t afraid to show the public your true self.
You honestly couldn’t care less about public perception.
Dick, admires your unapologetic lifestyle.
Aggressive Random: “You shouldn’t -“
Y/n: “Piss Off- no one asked you.”
Dick: “Ah sweetie… maybe you should listen to what they have to say.”
Y/n: “I couldn’t give a rats!”
#Dick Grayson#Dick Grayson x Reader#dick x reader#Grayson x reader#dc x reader#dc imagine#dick Grayson imagine#dick imagine#Grayson imagine#batboys#batboys imagine#batboys x reader#teen titans#teen titans x reader#Teem titans imagine#titans x reader#titans imagine#young justice#young justice x reader#young justice imagine#nightwing x reader#nightwing imagine
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Death or date? - Flufftober 12
Summary: Lloyd Hansen and you hate each other. More than once you tried to kill each other.
Pairing: Lloyd Hansen x Assassin!Reader
Warnings: assassins in love, enemies to lovers, mentions of killing people
Trope: enemies to lovers
A/N: This story was written for Horny Hoes Hootenanny hosted by @yenzys-lucky-charm and @sweater-daddiesdumbdork. I used the prompts:
🍁 enemies to lovers
🍁 the villain/monster has feelings (or thots) for you
🍁 "Wait, what do you mean you kinda like me?"
Kinktober vs Flufftober 2024
He’s done. Just done. You stole yet another kill. Lloyd is pacing back and forth in front of the monitors at the command center. His expensive loafers squeak on the floor as he tries to fathom that you were, once again, faster than his whole team.
“I should just hire her!” He yells at his team over the earpiece. “How hard is it to shoot a target? Why do I pay you? I should just do it myself!”
Lloyd rips the earpiece out of his ear and drops it to the ground, stomping on it like an angry child.
Lloyd is panting heavily. The vein in his neck threatens to burst any moment. Because of you. Only you. The nemesis pissing in his cornflakes. The thorn in his side. The only wanking material getting him hard lately.
“Fine, I give up,” he grunts and kicks imaginary stones. “She wins.”
You chuckle when you see the newest message on your phone is from your chosen nemesis. Lloyd mustache-enthusiast Hansen.
That fucker ruined mission after mission, always killing your target first.
You paid him back the sneaky way by paying one of his confidants. They give you all the information you’ll need to finish Lloyd’s mission before he can even lift a finger.
“Let’s see what he wants. Maybe more insults or offers to kill me…”
Mustache Dude: I’m done fooling around. Let’s take each other out.
You stare at the message, blinking a few times. He can’t mean… no way. That's impossible.
Well, fuck it. You only live once. Before you can chicken out, you reply…
Sexy Bitch: Hansen, are you talking about a date or death? 🍸 I’m getting mixed signals here.
Lloyd stares at your message for a brief moment. Did he mean what he wrote? Did he stoop so low? He huffs, but eagerly replies.
Mustache Dude: It’s up to you. I’m cool with either solution. I just gotta fit it into my schedule. So, tell me a date and a time…
You snort at his reply. It didn’t take him ten seconds to answer.
Sexy Bitch: Okay, surprise me… You can choose a date and time. 🍹🔪 No matter what, you'll pay for the drinks…
Sending your reply, you smirk. Whatever Lloyd Hansen is up to, you’ll be prepared.
Mustache Dude: Friday, 9 pm sharp. The place where we first met. Wear something nice. Red preferable. I like red. 💃
You don’t reply and leave Lloyd hanging. Shutting off your phone, you debate whether to meet up with the annoying bastard or not…
Lloyd looks around the empty restaurant. He rented the whole fucking place only to meet up with you. If you are up to dinner, you’ve got the place for yourself. If you want to kill him, there will be fewer people to kill.
He looks at his watch, impatiently tapping his foot.
Lloyd looks around the restaurant, as you stride through the door at 9 pm sharp. You’re wearing a stunning red dress. Not short enough for Lloyd to see more than you want, but short enough to give him ideas.
Lloyd licks his lips. He looks at the bouquet of red roses in his right hand, while he hides his favorite combat knife behind his back.
“Hansen,” you coo while stepping closer to glance at the roses. “So, what will it be?” You ask, pointing your clutch at him. You’re hiding a knife behind your back and a gun in your clutch.
“Y/L/N,” he replies, eyes dropping to your cleavage. “Hmm…I kinda like you alive better. Even though, you paid one of my men to rat me out.”
“Wait, what do you mean you kinda like me?" You furrow your brows. “I thought this was a peace offering.”
“Oh, it is a peace offering. The night will end with my face between your legs, making amends for stealing your next kill.”
“We will see, Hansen.” You smirk and snatch the roses out of his hand before pressing your combat knife to his throat. “I hope that mouth can keep up with your sharp tongue. If not, I’ll consider killing you.”
#lloyd hansen#lloyd hansen x reader#lloyd hansen x you#lloyd hansen x y/n#kinktober vs flufftober 2024#hornyhoeshootenanny
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[The Spawn Vs The Ascendant]
Astarion(s) x Tav
Plot: I made a post a while back about Ascended Astarion meeting Spawn Astarion via multiversal timeline shenanigans and legit maybe one person shared a fic with a similar premise.
So basically I was like *puts on infinity gauntlet* “Fine, I'll do it myself.”
Content Warning// 18+ for Sexual humor and suggestive themes. I legit have not been in the fanfiction business in years so go easy on me.
Characters might be ooc. Spelling/Grammar mistakes may be present. A wee bit of blood and violence. Gale is made fun of. Tav is based heavily off my human druid Tav, Winnie and uses She/Her pronouns.//
Possible Triggers: Ascended Astarion, kidnapping, mentioned character death, possessiveness, obsession, AA touches Tav without her consent (not sexually tho), Galeshaming.
~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•
Ah, the Elfsong. There was really no better place to unwind after a long day of adventuring. And there was really nothing better to help one unwind than a favorite snack, a cold drink and lovely company. Unfortunately for Tav she'd have to wait up on the company as her beloved was currently preoccupied with his nightly grooming. Gods only know how long that man will take doing his hair. The human female rolled her eyes and brought her wine bottle to her lips taking a few swigs before biting into some cheese she'd been nibbling on prior. Tav lounged about on their shared bed wearing nothing but a black tank and red boxers. Despite the peace and relaxation she was getting pretty bored without her love to snuggle and gossip with. Tav finished off the last few bites of cheese before she pulled out the private journal she'd been keeping since this whole adventure began. Little doodles of her partner decorated the pages along with her chicken scratch handwriting.
She had documented details of their adventure whenever she had the chance and also took the time to add various doodles of her companions and any monsters they encountered. (Some of her favorite drawings included herself opening a bottle and releasing a spectator. And of course a lovely little drawing of her and Astarion kicking the shit out of Cazador.)
As she waited Tav began to entertain herself by writing down a to-do list.
“Ah lets see…Yep definitely gonna have to have a chat with that pompous prick who was threatening a kid the other day. Maybe I can invite him back to the tavern later? I'm sure Star wouldn't mind having a snack.” Tav hummed, scribbling down everything she had planned out as of late.
Shit I need to do:
‘Feed rich tit to boyfriend.’
‘Teach Shadowheart to swim.’
‘Buy Clive a best friend.’
‘Murder baddies.’
‘Wildshape into a pigeon and shit on Gortash's head.’
‘Buy boyfriend cute clothes.’
‘Take Gale shopping for wizardy stuff.’
‘Look into real estate in the Underdark.’
‘Take Scratch for a walk.’
‘Kill more bad people.’
‘Contemplate licking dead spider.’
‘Be screamed at by Gale for licking dead spider.’
‘Buy flowers for Karlach and Shadowheart.’
‘Buy boyfriend more cute clothes.’
‘Study wizard stuff.’
‘Help Moon Lesbians plan wedding.’
‘Research ring of the sunwalker.’
‘Piss off the Gods……Again…’
‘Remember to take Astarion on romantic beach date before fighting the Elder Brain.’
‘Unalive people of not goodness.’
‘Shave Gale’s beard while he sleeps.’
‘Continue writing smutty novel series so I can keep buying boyfriend cute clothes.’
“Tav, a word please.” Gale appeared from around the corner. Tav groaned, annoyed by the prospect of having to get up. Especially since Gale looked like he was going to scold her for something. Begrudgingly she hopped off the bed, leaving the comfort of her room to see what in the hells that damn wizard wanted.
“What do you need, Gale? I'm kinda in the middle of writing down my to-do list.”
“Am I inclined to believe that you've been writing erotic novels that feature Astarion and I?” The wizard inquired.
“Pfft! What in the hells gave you that idea!” Tav laughed, her eyes staring off to the side nervously as she twiddled her thumbs. Gale pulled out a red leather bound book titled ‘Blood-Mage’. It was a ridiculously smutty novel about a young handsome sorcerer named Garrett Delarous who is reluctantly forced to team up with a dastardly, but world endingly beautiful Vampire Lord in order to save the world or some shit. (The book mostly focused more on smut than plot.) Amazingly the novel had made a killing after Tav had peddled it at Sharess's Caress. It seemed nearly everyone wanted a copy. (Tav was also pretty sure she noticed Halsin was reading the book as well.)
“My series is about a renowned sorcerer and a Vampire Lord. There's a difference, Gale.” Tav crossed her arms with a huff.
“You can't just profit off of other people's likenesses Tav! You at least need to pay them royalties!”
“I always give half the money I earn to Astarion.”
“I’m talking about me!”
“I think my beloved ‘gloves of power’ were more than enough payment for you.” Tav huffed before looking off to the side with a sad look.
I miss those gloves so much.
Gale sighed in annoyance, pinching the bride of his nose. He was used to Tav’s shenanigans at this point but this was just ridiculous. Not to mention while skimming through Tav's scandalous work he noticed the sorcerer was always on the bottom during intimate scenes. The audacity!
“Besides I use the money I make from this for not only myself and Astarion, but the rest of the camp as well. Adventuring ain't cheap ya know?”
“You can at least give me a small percentage of the profits. Say thirty percent?”
“Ten percent.” Tav said flatly.
“Twenty percent?”
“Ten percent.” Tav repeated.
“Fine.” Gale gives in, causing the shorter of the two to smirk triumphantly. Tav watched smugly as the wizard slumped off in defeat before quickly adding another note to her to-do list.
‘Give 10% of book money to the stinky wizard.’
Tav finished off her list as she felt a pair of cool arms wrap around her form from behind, her cheeks tinting light pink. “Do you really need to take five hours in the bath?” She hummed, turning her head to meet her partner’s crimson gaze. His hair was dry and looked rather soft and silky and he was dressed in this eccentric red silk robe with fluffy black trim.
“You can't rush art, darling.” Astarion purred before nuzzling his cheek against hers. “You know if you were getting impatient you could have joined me in the tub. I would have loved the company.” He murmured huskily.
“In these tiny ass bathtubs? I'd have to sit on your lap and even then I doubt we'd have enough room to really do anything.” Tav replied, nuzzling back against him.
“We could still try.~” The vampire cooed.
“Tempting, but the others have whined enough about our night time activities. Apparently we're noisy.”
“Then perhaps next time I shall have to gag you won't I?”
“Alright! I'm ending this conversation here!” Tav said quickly, face burning up at his teasing.
“Besides, I’ll need some sleep for tomorrow. Gortash won't kill himself, unfortunately.” Tav said with a yawn.
“Really? Now? I was hoping you'd at least cuddle with me before bed.” Astarion pouted.
“Oh you poor thing. Fine, we can cuddle till I fall asleep. Cutie.” The human female smiled sweetly before planting a kiss on her lover's cheek, receiving a content hum in response. Tav turned to pull away from the elf's embrace before suddenly feeling herself be scooped up and tossed over his shoulder.
“Hey! What did I say about picking me up!?” She whined, squirming a bit as she hung over his shoulder. “I don't like being manhandled!”
“But you're so adorable like this.~” Astarion teased, his hand gripping her ass as he carried over to the bed. Despite Tav’s complaints she did little else in protest besides pout and blush as she was whisked away. The two of them soon settled on the bed, Tav immediately nuzzling into Astarion's chest and relaxing. Astarion’s clawed fingernails found their way into her messy locks, caressing and running through them as the two snuggled together. His skin was cold to the touch, but honestly Tav actually liked it. It kinda reminded her of the cool side of her pillow. Even though there was the constant threat of death around every corner the two of them were still able to cherish their time together, and hopefully now that Astarion had been freed of his master they would continue to do so.
There was still the tiny issue of an evil alien brain thing that could turn them into soulless squid monsters, but they'd be able to take care of that sooner or later. A part of Tav wanted to put it off as selfish and dangerous as it could be. Because as soon as they destroyed the brain, they'd destroy the only protection Astarion had against the sun. Tav wasn't about to give up on finding a way for her love to enjoy the sun, but for now she'd at least make the time he has left in it special.
“Star….” Tav murmured aloud, her head tilting upwards to meet her partner's eyes.
“Yes dear?” He hummed.
“You know there's actually something I've been meaning to talk to you about. We've been together for a while now and well…we haven't actually had a real date….I mean I guess it's understandable considering we have to save the world and shit, but I was thinking maybe if there's time we could do something together....” Tav bit down on her lip as she sat up on the bed. She felt nervous all of a sudden, not used to asking for stuff like this. Astarion had always been the one to initiate most of their romantic activities. The best Tav could do was a kiss on the cheek or a hug and even that had taken a while for her to get comfortable with.
“What about all our little late night trysts? Do those not count as dates?” Astarion raised an eyebrow though his tone was playful.
“Ehh…well…rolling around in the dirt in the middle of nowhere isn't exactly what I'd call a date.” Tav said awkwardly, earning a chuckle from her vampire.
“I suppose you're right. We've never really had any bonding time without you being pinned underneath me.” He joked before quickly clearing his throat and finally trying to be serious. “What do you have in mind, darling?”
“I just want to take you out somewhere…We could go out to eat or just walk in the park….” The human female twiddled her thumbs as she trailed off, feeling butterflies in her stomach. “I'd be up for anything really as long as I'm with you.”
“I…would like that very much, my love.” Astarion cupped her cheek, his eyes soft and full of affection. He pulled her into a sweet chaste kiss, allowing her to return it before she pulled back and rested his forehead against hers.
Thudd!
Tav quickly pulled back from Astarion's embrace as she heard a noise. She looked around frantically for the sound.
“Tav? Is something wrong?” Astarion asked.
“I just heard something…” She said before suddenly her eyes landed at the window near their bed. On the opposite side of the window seat a small white bat could be seen looking through the glass. Its little red eyes stared at the human with an intense gaze. “It's a bat.” Tav pointed towards the window. Astarion looked over at the little creature before internally groaning.
No. She better not even think about it!
The bat blinked, looking at Tav a few times before curling its left wing against its body.
“I think its wing is injured!” Tav exclaimed with concern.
“Ugh leave it! We've taken in enough stray beasts!” Astarion scoffed, but Tav immediately ignored him, rushing over to the window.
“Tav! Don't! It probably has some horrible disease or something!”
Tav quickly opened the window, her eyes going soft as she looked down at the small animal. She moved to scoop it up into her arms but before she could the bat simply fell back.
“Shit!” She shouted.
“Thank the gods, it's dead. Now come back to bed, darling.” Astarion said, patting the spot besides him. Tav just glared at him silently before suddenly she wildshaped into a raven and flew out the window.
~•~•~•~•~
While Tav didn't preach about nature 24/7 like Halsin did she was still just as much of a druid as he was and couldn't bear to stay by while an injured animal was in need. (Much to her lover's dismay.) She'd flown out the window of their room and circled around looking for the little bat.
There was no sign of the winged beast anywhere near the elfsong, but at least that was a sign it likely hadn't fallen to its death. Tav kept searching, eventually straying further from the tavern until she was forced to land and give her wings a breather, returning back to her human form.
“Dammit it's so dark I can't tell where I am. Everything looks different at night.” Her eyes strained as she struggled to make out any familiarity. Despite having lived in Baldur's Gate for about ten years Tav had always made it a point not to roam about at night. Her lack of dark vision made night time prowling even more dangerous, especially in this city.
She decided to reserve her strength instead of wild-shaping again. From what she could make out in the dark she'd found herself in one of the back alleys. Tav kept stumbling around in the dark for a while until at last she began to consider heading back. The bat likely wasn't dead since she had seen no hair or hide of it and she really wasn't in the mood to find herself in trouble. It constantly seemed to follow Tav these days it seemed. Last time she wandered around the city by herself she got into a fist fight with some stuck up noble lady who had referred to her as ‘a fat ugly little boy’. (The others were not happy about sneaking her out of prison that day.)
Just as Tav was about to assume the form of a beast fit for the night she noticed some light up ahead. The graveyard had been illuminated by a couple of lanterns. Tav approached hoping it would help her map out her way back if she just remembered how to get to the Elfsong from there. However as soon as she got close to the light someone was waiting for her.
“Astarion?” Tav called out as her silver haired lover stepped out of the darkness. She expected nagging, and complaining about having to come out here looking for her, but instead Astarion just stared at her intensely as if studying every detail of her face. “Are you okay?” She asked with concern. Something was very strange about this. Astarion being quiet for long was never a good sign. Tav scanned him over, almost immediately noting his elegant attire. A black and red suit with silver bats embroidered on it. Odd. Tav had never seen him wear this outfit before. And he was always quick to show off any new clothes to her, seeking her praise. Astarion moved towards her quickly and out of nowhere pulled her into a crushing hug.
“Yes of course. I was just worried about you, my sweet.” His grip on her was almost uncomfortably tight, as if he was holding onto her for dear life.
“I haven't been gone that long….” Tav stiffened. There was an abnormal warmth to his body. Sure he was able to raise his temperature after feeding, but there was hardly a decent supply of beasties for him to nibble on in this city, not to mention he would have had to have found one pretty damn fast before seeking her out.
“You’ve always been such a brave little thing, haven't you?” He let out a chuckle, his grip on her didn’t falter. His tone didn't seem threatening, but one thing for sure set off an alarm in her.
Thump-thump.
Thump-thump.
Thump-thump.
Tav immediately ripped herself away from him and took a few steps back, her eyes glaring daggers. “Who the hells are you?” She snapped.
“Whatever, ever do you mean, pet?” His voice was full of false innocence, it reminded her a lot of how Astarion would often speak whenever accusations were hurled at him, but this person was definitely not her lover.
Tav’s first instinct was to assume he'd probably been one of the shape-changers they'd been attacked by in the past, but there was this gnawing gut feeling that this time was different.
“Drop the act. I've already met enough shit heads running around wearing someone else's face. Who are you really?”
“I’m Astarion. Really dear, I'm disappointed you have so little faith in me that you'd think I'd allow some lowly shape-changers near you.” He took a few steps forward.
“Stay away from me…” Tav growled out through gritted teeth. Damnit. She didn't have any weapons and was literally in her sleepwear.
“You seem tired, love. Perhaps we should head back so you can get some rest?” He extended his hand towards her. Tav was about to say something else before suddenly an arrow came out of nowhere, nearly hitting the Astarion look alike in the shoulder. He was able to dodge just in the nick of time. Tav gasped in surprise before quickly turning back to see another…. Astarion?
The two looked identical aside from their clothing. The imposter was wearing his elegant suit and the other one (whom Tav hoped to the gods was actually him) was wearing a familiar red and black doublet.
“Hells teeth.” Astarion spoke up as he looked over at the two. Tav immediately sniffed air around the second Astarion. The tiniest whiff of death hit her senses and immediately she ran over to him.
“Star!” Tav was by his side in an instant. His arm quickly looped around her hip protectively before he scanned over her face.
“Are you alright?” He asked, receiving a nod in response. Astarion then looked over towards his look alike. “My, aren't you just beautiful? I must admit I'm quite flattered you chose to imitate me.”
“Is that what you think of me? I'm hurt.” The other vampire laughed. “I am no mere imitation. I am you…..well a better you.”
“You're not making any sense!” Tav hissed, her jaw clenching as she suppressed the urge to let out an animal-like growl.
“Allow me to shed some light on it then. I come from a reality where instead of choosing to remain weak and pathetic we became who we always wanted to be.” Tav's eyes widened at the revelation, though she was still debating whether or not to believe all this madness. Of course she'd been to hells, the shadowfell and even fought a god so maybe this wasn't too far fetched.
“The Vampire Ascendant.”
“If you're telling the truth then why are you here? You have everything you want don't you?” The vampire spawn quirked an eyebrow. Meanwhile the Ascendant’s face suddenly turned cold. He almost looked sad.
“I did. Wealth, power, pleasure, everything I could ever dream of. I was on the cusp of dominating the entirety of the sword coast. Everything was mine. But none of it mattered without the one thing I cherished most. My beloved consort. My Tav.” His eyes suddenly locked into the human female. She felt small, cornered, like a rat caught between a cat’s paws. “He was taken from me…”
Tav stiffened, taking a step back. She really did not like where this was going. Her lover kept a gentle hold on her, staying between her and the other vampire.
“And now you're here to take my Tav I presume?” Astarion scoffed, “you obviously didn't care very much about yours then if you're already looking for a replacement.”
“HE WAS EVERYTHING TO ME!” Before Tav could think her lover was knocked off his feet. A punch had come at him faster than he could react. The Ascendant stood over him, shaking with anger. Tav moved over towards the vampire spawn as quickly as she could, checking him out. He seemed alright, albeit a little winded, possibly bruised. Astarion huffed, getting back to his feet. Tav was quick to cast cure wounds on him to help perk him back up.
The Ascendant took in a breath, regaining his composure. While the spawn swiftly tossed Tav a spare dagger from his pack. A fight was likely inevitable now.
“I’ve searched across thousands of timelines. None of these pathetic excuses for adventurers came even close to my beloved. That is…until I found you of course…” The vampire lord pointed a clawed finger at the druid. “You're the only one who resembles him in the slightest, albeit you are a bit more…voluptuous than he was.” He chuckled a bit.
“Okay hold on a minute! You can't just come here and take someone else’s Tav because you lost yours!” Tav pointed her dagger shakily towards him.
“My dear, I don't think you understand. I am the Vampire Ascendant. I can take whatever I want!”
“I don't care if you're the fucking god of gnomes I'm not going anywhere with you. I have my own Astarion.” Tav gripped the blade tightly while her free hand prepared to cast a spell.
“I had hoped you'd come quietly, but it seems we'll have to do this the hard way.” With a flash of pink light Tav was hit with a sleeping spell and fell to the ground unconscious. Her dagger dropped to the ground with a clatter. The spawn was quick to move in front of Tav taking out his rapier and aiming a swipe at the other vampire.
The Ascendant stepped back just as the thin slender blade nicked a cut across his attire, just barely missing his flesh. The spawn took another swing at him, nicking his side and gaining a kick to the ribs in return. The spawn huffed, quickly recovering before moving in for another attack.
However the Ascendant’s clawed hand struck first, slashing through the armor surrounding the Astarion's shoulder and slicing his flesh. The spawn cried out and gripped his arm as his counterpart smirked smugly, bringing his finger up to his lips and basically tasting his own blood.
“Mmm…Delicious.~” He purred. The Ascendant’s crimson eyes trailed over towards Tav before beginning to glow red. “To me, now.” He said as if issuing a command to unseen soldiers.
Within seconds two oddly familiar figures appeared out of mist. A sickly pale looking Halsin and Shadowheart, both with glowing red orbs for eyes.
“Gods below. You've turned your own friends into spawn!?” Astarion gasped, his face full of disgust.
“Eh…I wouldn't exactly call them friends…. Though they are much more compliant this way.” The vampire lord replied with a toothy grin. The spawn felt sick to his stomach. To think he could have ended up this way.
“Take care of my inferior self, would you darlings? I have places to be…” The Ascendant gave a small wave before quickly scooping the unconscious Tav up in his arms.
“Yes master.” The undead Shadowheart and Halsin replied, a bright red light shone around their bodies as they were compelled to attack.
“Farewell beautiful.” The vampire lord gave his spawn self a wink before quickly vanishing into mist, taking Tav along with him.
~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~
“Astarion….” Tav muttered tossing and turning in her sleep as she slowly began to come to. She shot up in a cold sweat, her heart pounding.
“Ugh…That was a terrible dream. Star you wouldn't believe…” Tav went silent as her eyes scanned her surroundings. It in fact was not a dream.
“Oh gods damnit.” She huffed.
Tav was in a large elegant looking bedroom, lying upon a purple queen size bed adorned with fine silk sheets. Maroon red walls surrounded her and were decorated nicely by paintings and other fine wall decor. The first thing the druid noticed after taking in her surroundings was the pressure around her neck. Her hands quickly reached for her throat feeling what seemed like a tight choker of some kind. She quickly hopped off the bed and looked into the mirror of a nearby vanity that sat west of the bed. “Fucking hells.” She breathed out as her eyes laid upon a black and red collar adorning her neck. There was this unnerving glow surrounding the collar. Most likely some kind of magic was placed on it. Quickly she curled her fingers preparing to use a spell in order to tear this damn thing off of her, but nothing happened.
This thing must be silencing my casting somehow.
Tav for a moment before forming an idea. She could probably wildshape into something small and squeeze out. Maybe. The druid sighed before getting on all fours preparing to transform into a rat. She let out a grunt, but nothing happened.
“Oh fuck you!” She shouted before rolling and desperately trying to yank the collar off.
Tav growled and pulled on the neck piece, yanking as hard as she could, resorting to gnawing on it.
Knock knock.
The druid immediately ceased her actions at the sound of the door. A shiver went down her spine at the thought of it being that so-called ‘Vampire Ascendant’ again. Her eyes flickered around the room before she took hold of a candle stick and stood next to the door, back pressed against the wall.
The door creaked open and a small figure walked inside. Tav prepared herself to strike down whoever had entered, but froze upon seeing the person. It was a small blonde haired half-elf woman, dressed in a house keeper's attire.
Tav quickly looked into her eyes, letting out a sigh of relief as she noticed they were blue. She set the candlestick down on the vanity and looked at the half-elf curiously. “Who are you?” She asked.
“My name is Abigail, milady. The master sent me to help you get dressed and make sure you come see him.” The small woman piped up in a small soft voice. Abigail was petite and quite short, probably about an inch or two shorter than Tav was, though the druid estimated the half elf was probably around the same age as she was…well physically anyway. With elves you could really never tell.
“And exactly where am I?” Tav crossed her arms.
“The Crimson palace milady. My lord has taken up residence here while he stays in your realm.” Abigail replied before scurrying across the room, towards a closet. “It'd be best not to keep him waiting, my lady.” The half-elf rummaged around through the closet before taking a couple of different outfits to choose from and spreading them out over the bed. “My apologies if you'd prefer a dress, but this is all we could bring with us from our world.”
Tav blushed a bit in embarrassment as she realized she was still only wearing a tank and boxers. She looked over at the bed and took note of the three suits that laid out in front of her.
“These belonged to Master Tav. Master Astarion said they'd likely fit you, my lady.”
“Now hold on, I have questions! How did you all get here, and what is this thing!?” Tav demanded as she tugged on her collar once again.
“I'm sorry I can say no more. Please miss, just get dressed.” Abigail pleaded,a hint of fear was in her tone. Tav was hesitant, but begrudgingly she slipped off her tank before sliding into one of the suits, a red one that felt a little snug on her, but actually not by much. The only issue being that she couldn't get the top three buttons of the white undershirt that went with it to button. It left her cleavage slightly exposed. Her eyebrow twitched in annoyance.
“Okay, I'm ready.” She said, Abigail nodded and began to lead the druid out of the room.
Perhaps this was her chance? She could make a break for it on their way out! Tav braced herself to bolt only to be met with a shockingly familiar face as she exited the room. Lae'zel. Or well a vampire spawn that looked completely identical to her githyanki companion aside from a pair of glowing red.
“Dear gods, Lae'zel, what happened to you? Did Astarion do this?” Tav gasped in shock.
“She's not your Lae'zel, milady.” Abigail spoke up.
“I was told to make sure the master’s new pet came quietly, not to answer questions.” Lae’zel simply replied.
“Come on, let's go.” Abigail took hold of Tav’s arm, giving her a gentle smile before tugging her along. Lae'zel quietly followed, a seemingly permanent scowl on her face as she watched Tav's every move, almost daring her to run for it.
The three walked down a long corridor for what seemed like hours. The sound of footsteps along with her own heartbeat seemed to be the only thing Tav could process as a gnawing anxiety set in. Her chest tightened, her throat felt dry and she could feel this nervous pain dancing across her spine. She wasn't sure why but something about this other Astarion scared her. This Vampire Ascendant. She had never been afraid of her beloved spawn, hells she wasn't even afraid of Cazador or any other vampire she had come across on their journey, but something about her lover's counterpart made her skin crawl.
“Well aren't you just precious?” A seductive pur tore Tav from her thoughts, forcing her to look up and realize she'd been dragged out into the ballroom. It definitely was a lot cleaner than the past time she'd been here. All the blood and wolf corpses had been dealt with. Just how long has this other Astarion been here? He couldn't have just started squatting here, found and kidnapped Tav, and had time to clean everything up on the same day! The Vampire Ascendant sat upon Cazador’s old throne, looking down at Tav. His eyes trailing over her.
Tav took a deep breath before clearing her throat and trying to appear confident.
“Where is Astarion? And I mean my Astarion.”
“You needn’t concern yourself with him any longer. You're mine now and I will give you so much more than he ever could.~” The Vampire Lord stood up and stepped towards Tav slowly.
“I’m not your Tav. I can never be him.” The druid backed up a little, however with Lae’zel’s presence behind her she didn't have much room to retreat. She wasn't sure if reasoning with this alternate version of her lover was possible, but it was worth a shot if nothing else. However instead of listening he swiftly took her hands in his.
“No need to be modest, my pet, you're practically like him in every way. You have his eyes, his face, the same little quirks and ticks. Granted, you're built a little different anatomically, but that's not something that ever deterred me.” Astarion moved in closer, briefly pressing his lips against her knuckles. “And now that I've found you, nothing will ever part us. Not again.” Before Tav could speak she was pulled in for another tight hug. She squirmed a bit, conflicted feelings of pity and fear were arguing back and forth in her mind as she felt him nuzzling his face into her neck. He was clearly dangerous, but he also seemed heartbroken. He wanted anyway to have his lover back so badly he crossed time itself to see them again. Or at least someone who resembled them.
But Tav knew deep down she wouldn't be enough to fill the void left by her counterpart. Gods, she hoped there would be a happy ending to all of this.
~•~•~•~•~•~
A little note from ChaoticDruid: I really hope it didn't suck! I haven't published a fanfic in so long >~< This idea had just been swimming around in my brain forever I just had to get it out! I got the idea from the PS5 launch party animation and seeing Launch Astarion and EA Astarion flirting just made me go okay but what if it was Ascended Astarion and Spawn Astarion?
I don't know if I will continue it. I have other things I wanna write and my ADD makes this stuff so freaking hard. But maybe maybe not 🤞🤞
Part 2: LETS GOOOOOOO
#astarion romance#astarion ancunin#baldurs gate 3#astarion x reader#bg3 tav#astarion x tav#astarion my beloved#bg3#shadowheart#gale dekarios#gale of waterdeep#ascended astarion#spawn astarion#vampire spawn#vampire ascendant#druid tav#batstarion#baldur's gate astarion#astarion fluff#Galeshaming- The bullying of Gale#Some people get triggered if you're mean to Gale so#yeah
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Naruto is my Roman Empire and I’ve been reading MadaTobi fanfics so these r my Founders Thoughts that nobody asked for:
- Tobirama had a crush on Madara and it PISSED HIM OFF like they def had hate sex at one point LMAO
- they literally worked together ur rlly gonna tell me they didn’t have SOME moments of civility btwn them?? (lowkey that’s wild tho having to see ur brother’s murderer everyday at work-I like Tobi but I’m just sayin)
I WANT A WORKPLACE SITCOM WITH THE FOUNDERS SJSKKSKS:
- Tobi doing experiments and scaring the villagers
- Tobi teaming up with Madara to make Hashi do work
- Hashi making flowers w/government documents
- Mito sipping tea while encouraging Tobi to revive the dead
- everyone in the Tower side eying the sexual tension btwn Madara and Tobi and them never denying they’ve fucked before
- Toka cackling in the background
- Hikaku spraying water at Madara like a cat every time he throws a temper tantrum
- Kagami popping in to make sure his clan head doesn’t kill his teacher PERFECT SITCOM MATERIAL
- totally personal preference: Naruto should’ve had more BLOOD AND GORE. I wanna see the grittiness and horror the shinobi world actually is and how revolutionary Naruto as a character is by choosing peace over violence. The only time we get that is Obito vs Kiri nin, Uchiha Massacre, Wave Arc, Orochimaru…before it turns into DBZ fights
I’ve said this before: Sasuke was in a seinen Naruto was in a shounen
- the warring states is literally the perfect place for exhibiting the horrors of war and humanity. Bloodline thieves, child hunting squads, GIVE. IT. TO. ME. Madara and Hashirama experiencing all of this and wanting PEACE FOR THEIR YOUNGER BROTHERS UGHHH ROBBERY‼️‼️
SORRY TW IMPLIED SA !!:
I HC that bloodline thieves is prob why Madara wears gloves….being a YOUNG (he’s been on the battlefield since he was 8??) powerful, prodigy and future clan head of a famous kekkai genkai it makes sense why he doesn’t like skin-contact/sexual repression and repulsion. And why we don’t see female Uchiha shinobi (excluding misogyny) simply bc there’s such a high risk of SA in this era
Moving on:
- Tobi and Izuna were jealous of how their brothers were being taken away. It goes past the senju/uchiha rivalry like they were just kids and were plain jealous.
- Madara and hashirama def share 1 brain cell LOLLL. Like they’re besties for a reason, Madara acts likes he smarter but nah he’s as much of an idiot as Hashi is. They’re both dreamers let these boys live and skip rocks together!!! 😭😭
- let’s be honest: Tobi built the village. Mans was doing ALL the logistics and infrastructure
- tobirama is soooo second son/eldest daughter coded it’s not even funny. The SPARE, serious and emotionless bc he needed to always clean up after his siblings, DUTIFUL, prob has a praise kink etc.
- Madara is an eldest daughter who also prob has a praise kink and touch starved
- NONE of the founders r well adjusted like they went from spending everyday of their lives at war to tryin bring peace and start essentially a ninja-revolution (PLS GO TO THERAPY)
- madara was just the most open about it: being isolated and feared by his own clan BC he was powerful, trying advocate for the village and peace, all while grieving for his last brother…yeah it makes sense y he went crazy or at least wanted to leave (fuck Kishimoto for that Kaguya bs and fuck Zetsu)
- I don’t actually believe he was trying destroy the village idkkk. I think he was trying to do an SNS aka using fighting as a way to communicate with Hashirama and well…yIkEs
- tobirama is 1000% unadjusted: mans literally created a Justu to revive the dead. You cannot tell me that doesn’t REEK of desperation and loneliness. He’s lit rally the OG mad scientist
- hashirama rlly thought sealing the Bijuu and giving them to each village was a good idea….sir WHO TF GIVES NUCLEAR WEAPONS TO SHINOBI???!! 😳😳
- I think hashirama and naruto lowkey can be summed up as: a powerful idealist. Which is a very dangerous combination. Take that how you will especially considering how shinobi thrive off of violence….it kinda makes sense how we ended up with canon Naruto
- Madara has a god complex and knows it. Hashirama has a god-complex and doesn’t know it. (God of Shinobi title def got to him and understandable)
- the founders failed and they know it. But I also kinda love it?? They’re so flawed and human as leaders and you can see how their mistakes drag into Canon Naruto. It also makes me so sad knowing that Konoha was built to prevent child soldiers and give protection only for it to actually be WORSE (Kakashi ITACHI SANNIN ik for a fact it must’ve hurt Hashi to know ur own granddaughter left the village)
Uchiha are: love is the death of duty while the Senju are: duty is the death of love and neither of them will forgive each other for picking one over the other‼️‼️‼️
- proving this ^^ w/Hashirama’s weird af characterization: aka him being a loveable idiot but at the same time CONGRATULATING Itachi for killing his own clan for Konoha…. I feel like that rlly showed me how much of a war veteran/shinobi Hashirama actually is and how he will always pick duty
- we were ROBBED of baby Kagami/hokage Kagami 😤😤😤 I’m sorry Kagami should’ve been made Hokage it just makes sense personality wise and politically wise. The only way I could see him not take it is bc he needed to be a clan leader/placate the Uchiha/help Hikaku.
- I wanna see him process the loss of his clan leader, teacher, and eventually friends to a point where Danzo takes his eyes
- everyone on Team Tobirama had a crush on Kagami at one point
- one of my fav HC: Tobi and Madara co-parenting Kagami. There’s no way Madara didn’t check up on Kagami being taught by THE senju which makes his defection hit harder for Kagami 😭😭
- BABY SANNIN ‼️‼️‼️ Tsunade was old enough to meet and remember Hashirama it makes sense that Oro and Jiraiya meet the founders
- omg could u imagine being Edo Tensei Hashirama?? Ur granddaughter’s weird friend revives u using the Jutsu ur brother invented that you specifically FORBID 😭😭
- Hashi and Tobi staring at Orochimaru like “you look familiar???” IT HAS SO MUCH COMEDIC POTENTIAL
- Mito revolutionized female shinobi like she’s def the reason ppl realized that girls can fight (Senju Toka was an exception) STAN MITO 🙇♀️🙇♀️
- Mito pulled a Tsunade and mentally yeeted out of Konoha after Hashi and Tobi died. Bc the way we NEVER hear about her and Hiruzen interacting except for Kushina, even tho she’s literally RELATED to the other 2 hokages….ROBBED 😵💫
- I HC: she was dealing w/grief (the fall of Uzushio made it worse) and she was lowkey pushed out of the council by Danzo FUCK DANZO
- I love the idea of Mito wooing for Hashirama’s hand/politically smart Mito!! It was a political marriage that grew into love. There’s no way she DIDNT suspect an attack on Uzushio lik it’s literally an island w/Kiri as it’s neighbours….Konoha gets recognition and stability while Uzushio importantly gets mainland allies
- Mito tops btw she’s def pegged Hashi before 🫢
- if Madara or Hashi had sisters/born women they would’ve def had a marriage to solidify their alliance. This makes Japanese homophobia not make sense esp in the shinobi world bc their clans trusted each other w/o backup like marriage?? Idk I’m just kinda confused y it was never even brought up for an alliance…
*cue MadaTobi arranged marriage au 100k, enemies to lovers, slowburn*
- also to dude bros homophobia has no place in the Naruto world (and IRL BTW) outside of making heirs. They’re literally MERCENARIES You telling me Kakashi has never fucked another man for information before??? Pls be serious I’m begging y’all 🙃🙃🙃
- there’s def family drama amongst the senju!! Idk I feel like Hashirama and Tobirama have the relationship of: “they love each other but don’t like each other” which makes Madara’s inclusion even worse for the brothers’ relationship. Like they def always had each other’s backs but never actually felt like they understood each other.
- I wish more fanfics/canon covered the shinobi-civilian politics more (I love politics lol give me world-building kishimoto 😤)
- Civilians hold power. THEY have all the MONEY to pay shinobi
- I’ve rlly only seen 1 fanfic that involves the Fire Daimyo during the Warring States Era (Into the Wide Blue Yonder it’s a KakaSasu Time travel fic that actually ✨works✨ 12/10 recommend) but it’s true.
Wtf is the Fire Daimyo doing during this era??? Why is he being so placate about Senju/Uchiha war unless he just sees it as entertainment?? How have shinobi NOT fought against rich civilian politicians before?? (Introducing Maoism to the naruto world lol 🤔🤔)
- Kishimoto curse ur goldfish brain….
- the uchiha and senju were def broke in this era, LMAO especially the Uchiha and I mean resource wise. War is EXPENSIVE the Uchiha don’t have Hashirama and Mokutan, they couldn’t just grow food whenever they wanted. It makes total sense that they would agree to a ceasefire just to prevent STARVATION
- once again…. robbed in terms of seeing the aftermath and devastation of war and learning how to live in a morally grey, politically unstable, resource limited world which could’ve brought in the ultimate themes of peace and the cycle of violence, and the question of if violence and war is ever justified, but…..no ❤️
#naruto#MadaTobi#hashirama senju#mito uzumaki#senju tobirama#madara uchiha#kagami uchiha#brainrot.txt#roman empire#silly little thoughts#warring states era#I think I’m a Madara stan now???#I blame ao3 for my MadaTobi brainrot phase#pls give me a founders sitcom#tw sa implied
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Brucie is a menace to society: The Thesis
Urrgh the brainworms got to me again, so we're talking about some funky Brucie Wayne headcanons:
• There's a difference between Brucie Wayne interacting with the general public and random rich folks that he isn't too close with vs Brucie Wayne interacting with business partners, friend, or people Brucie is generally a bit more trusting towards
• To the general public and the more distant rich folks? Brucie is a himbo dork, a hot playboy manwhores who donated to charity all the time, a little dumb, a heart of gold, definitely seen as way too naive. Brucie is just a well-intentioned goofball who is very good looking, he's clumsy and kinda adorable, people just generally like him because of his Vibes™. Also just very good with kids, though his habit of adoption is brought up a lot in jokes
• But with long time business partners, friends and people he'd be closer to? Brucie is 100% a smug bitch, absolutely insufferable. He's like, still seem as mostly stupid and vapid, still a manwhore, but as they get to know Brucie more others definitely start to catch on whenever he's just fucking with people. Brucie can no longer get away with pretending like he's naive anymore, because these specific people have 100% caught him saying curtain things solely because he thought it would be just so fucking funny
• Because of this, Brucie tends to be more playful with this select group of people, being less of an adorable himbo and more like a loud snarky friend, he's absolutely hilarious if you're actually in on the joke, has an awful habit of teasing others as well
• If you're particularly grouchy or insufferable then Brucie will dedicate the rest of his day to bother you in particular. He can and will just make up any excuse to have a meeting, or to tour at someone else's office, or anything and other to simply be able to annoy bitter people from a close range
• His biggest victims: Oliver Queen, Lex Luthor and Harvey Dent. These three will never know peace, the moment they got close enough to get to the more snarky side of Brucie it was game over. It was really common to see Bruce waltz through parties acting like his normal himbo self, only to do an immediate shift in attitude once he spotted one of them, the press usually found it hilarious
• Lex is the one that suffers under this the most since he's the bitchiest man alive, so Brucie is basically in speed dial to annoy this man 24/7, he's an actual menace about Lex to the point where he will make the trip to metropolis solely to piss Lex off on a completely random Wednesday. They're both the prettiest people to ever exist so the annoyance is actually kinda mutual, but Brucie often wins out since his reactions aren't really fully genuine (on account of being, well, Brucie), something that Lex is endlessly bitter on. To this day no one can tell if they're genuinely actually friends, or if they just hate each other
• Oliver does not get hit by the full brunt of the Brucie Wayne Effect™ as Lex does, but they both still snark at each other all the time, to the point that having a conversation with the two of them present becomes a comedy routine really fast. The accounts of the poor poor survivors that have ever third wheeled their conversations say that it was vaguely reminiscent of being the ball in a game of verbal tennis, as was read in a particularly descriptive article released by several bitter interviewers
• Now, of course Harvey is actually aware that Brucie isn't really fully real, like, he knows that it's mainly a persona, he's actually had full conversations and memories with Bruce instead of Brucie. Still though, Brucie and Harvey are like a menace duo, being targeted by both of them is a sentence to being messed with or manipulated, it's actually really impressive what they can get done together. Of course, they both use their methods for good, and to annoy people that are assholes while still somehow being polite, so it's more funny than anything, really
• Brucie is also just generally more mellow around Harvey, being less snarky and sometimes even quiet, staying in a sweet spot between Bruce and Brucie. Seeing Smug Bitch™ Brucie Wayne chill out a little whenever Harvey was around is a bit surreal to everyone else though, Lex and Oliver will forever complain about it
• Once Harvey became Two Face, Lex and Oliver both actually had some tact (yes, I know right) and gave Brucie some space to deal with it. A week later after the incident Brucie visited both of them with a big confident smile, beer and an invite to a party with only the family friends
• Not much changed after that, Lex is still insufferable, Oliver is still playing along with Brucie's bullshit to some extent, and Brucie is still a menace to society disguised as a harmless himbo playboy. Though sometimes the clear absence of Harvey is felt, especially whenever those quieter and softer moments of Brucie mellowing out simply cease to exist entirely
#bruce wayne#batman#dc batman#dc bruce wayne#dc comics#bruce wayne headcanon#brucie wayne#batman headcanon#lex luthor#oliver queen#harvey dent#oops it got sad at the end#sorry#I couldn't resist it was too easy#moga try to not make your bruce headcanons angry challenge
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The Israel vs Palestine conflict is such a long-spanning and insanely complicated thing that there's literally college courses that revolve entirely around the subject. There's people who have been studying it for 70 years who still barely understand it. There's historians with PhDs trying to piece together anything they can that could help them figure out a means to potentially instill a ceasefire or even peace altogether who have failed time and time again for decades if not literally centuries.
And yet people with 7 years of Twitter experience think they know enough about the conflict to pick a side and vouch for the destruction of the opposite side.
The amount of times I want to say "Shut the fuck up you fucking stupid idiot, you know literally nothing about this conflict, you have no idea what's actually happening, I bet if I asked your opinion on the Two State Solution you wouldn't even have a fucking clue what that means" on a daily basis reading these actual braindead moronic 16yo Twitter users' dipshit opinions who keep citing celebrity blue-checkmark Twitter posts as evidence to vouch for the eradication of a middle eastern country they don't even know a fucking thing about is STAGGERING.
I'm in my mid-30s and I stay out of politics on all sides because I am not qualified in any way to form opinions on matters so serious that they may or may not result in people being killed, and it fucking pisses me off that people half my fucking age are telling me that I should support Palestine or Ukraine or vouch for the genocide of Israel or join ANTIFA or BLM or put #FreeTaiwan in my fucking twitter bio.
You actual braindead stupid fucking morons have absolutely no clue what any of these conflicts actually mean, none of them have anything to do with you, go back to bitching about girls in video games being too sexy and shut the fuck up about actual real conflicts because you're a fucking moron if you think you know anything about what you claim you're in support of.
I swear to God if I see one more Twitch player playing Fortnite ranting about the Israel Palestine conflict and telling people that donations during their stream go to Palestine, Ukraine, Taiwan and LGBT activism centers, I'm gonna go feral. It is so unbelievably belittling to people who have spent their entire life researching and educating themselves on these conflicts to be able to build an understanding, that a dipshit who collects loli bestiality porn and plays Metroid Prime on Twitch thinks he's on the same level as those researchers.
PREACH! It's so fucking annoying how everyone suddenly thinks they're experts on this conflict when before October 7, 2023 none of them even knew it was happening and they're just cringey ass brain dead parrots saying what they're supposed to say without doing their due diligence to at least get somewhat informed on the matter before boycotting Starbucks, using hashtags and swapping the Ukraine flag for the Palestine flag and thinking they're doing something.
What really gets to me is when influencers I follow, like apolitical ones who are grown ass adults, jump on the bandwagon and are actually orchestrating fundraisers for Palestine and it makes me so fucking mad because they absolutely have no excuse for that. I just want to scream at them "hey! you know literally every cent you raise is going straight to Hamas and no Palestinian will ever get a single penny!! It's all going to buy weapons to kill Israeli civilians. YOU ARE LITERALLY FUNDING GENOCIDE AND TERRORISM YOU ABSOLUTE BUFFOON!!!" I don't have a shred of respect for people who talk about all the terrible things happening in Gaza but don't have a single word to say about the atrocities Hamas commits daily in Israel. Not one of them has condemned or even mentioned the attack on October 7th. Fuck every single one of them.
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anon i’m not posting ur ask bc it may piss some people off BUT to answer your question i think beyond just being ineffectual, the most counterproductive shit is:
1. the blatant antisemitism. while i think antisemitism is pervasive in society, a large percentage of peope (at least in america) know that its wrong, and can recognize it when its at its most obvious. had they kept their antisemitism on the down low i don’t think it would have been caught by many gentiles, but when its as obvious as screaming “go back to poland” (yes i will not shut up about this specific thing) or shooting at jewish elementary schools, people recognize it. and this turns normal people who realize that antisemitism=bad and makes it easy to “villainize” (for lack of a better word) their movement. of course this may help bring fringe people who are just looking to be antisemitic, but it alienates most well-adjusted people, which includes most of those who contribute to society so its by far a net negative
2. denouncing israeli leftists/peace activists etc. these are the people who can actually make the biggest difference here, but instead of allying with them they at best ignore and at worst villainize them. organizations such as standing together and women wage peace do a lot of good trying to find solutions and help palestinians (remeber how standing together helped aid get to gaza) but are fucking put on the bds list. it’s ridiculous. how the hell is harassing jewish students more helpful than supporting actual people in the region who actually understand what is going on and can actually do something. if they really cared about human lives and peace (which i guess they don’t based on that post i screenshotted earlier lol) they would be doing everything they can to assist these orgs but instead they make things harder for them. i guess it’s because its very important to paint an “us vs them” narrative and to do this they must paint all israelis as evil so recognizing standing together etc destroys that
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astro observations 1 - focus on appearance and vibes
Hi ! Today I am posting my first ever astro observations ! Hope you like it! (if you do, there is more to come *mischevious smirk)
(REMINDER : I am NOT a professional astrologer. Everything I say are my personal opinions and not facts.)
Aries rising men
-> Aries rising men tend to look either really "primal" or like a greek god that fell from the Mount of Olympus.
From the ones I have seen (which is rare like where are they hiding??l) they have thick straight eyebrows, are taller than average, tend to be on the skinnier/leaner side and tend to have a prominent cranium.
-> They also often look mad/like they are about to start a fight or they are just pissed off 24/7 (it's similar to Scorpio risings RBF but it's not as intense or shady it's more like "the fuck you're looking at ugly ass" lmaooo)
-> I knew a guy who was an Aries rising and he described himself as a professional hater. He loved cursing at people and just getting pissed off. He admitted that himself by saying stuff like "i love hating on people" and would, without any shame, try to find any opportunity to shit on people (just for fun though lmaoo)
This attitude/anger issues/cursing at people 24/7 can also be seeing in Vinnie Hacker for instance. *He is an Aries rising and the way his only screentimes in the Hype House show was him treatening to beat people's asses is so funny to me help-
Also , Vinnie Hacker to me (obviously) falls into the "greek god looking" type of Aries rising men.
(*but then he has cancer placements so maybe all that moodiness doesn't help him at all lmaoo)
Men and women with aries stelliums often radiate libra energy for some reason.
They look really elegant and feminine. They usually have really good manners, they are really soft spoken and sweet. They are super polite and charming. They seem generally approachable and have a nice smile on top of that.
ex : Prayag Mishra aka the "pookie guy", PinkPantheress
Prayag Mishra aka the "pookie guy"
-> He looks really well groomed which is a typical libra men thing as it is ruled by venus, the planet of beauty and harmony.
-> He is known for being sassy which i would typically associate with leo placements (and fire energy in general) HOWEVER libras and taurus, because they want to RECEIVE that princess treatment too, can also be quite dramatic and sassy but in a less upfront, all up in your face way.
-> His sassiness is paired with a certain flirtiness which is SOO libra.
-> Just read this article about him "combatting toxic masculinity". I don't know if I am reading to deeply into it, but this "toxic masculinity" and "sassy men apocalypse" thing feels really Aries VS Libra to me -> Masculinity VS Feminity which, again, proves how he radiates feminine energy despite having more masculine energies in his chart.
(that take is a bit of a stretch ngl)
PinkPantheress
-> Her appearance and singing is really angel-like. She sings with a really sweet and soft voice, usually about love.
-> She comes off a little shy at first, but mostly well-mannered and polite. She also smiles a lot.
-> The gentleness in the way she talks and the "Let's not make it political" screams Libra to me. All about keeping the peace and the harmony.
youtube
-> She is known for her fashion sense, which is quite "girly".
I also see a lot of men saying she looks "feminine", she has a lot of fanboys and they seem to adore her softness and her nice personnality (in addition to her beauty). A lot of them act a bit possessive towards her. it's like she brings out this "i'll provide and take care of you" type of energy out of men lmaoo
-> I knew two guys with aries stelliums who came across really calm and composed, which sounds completely opposite to what Aries are stereotypically described as.
(one of the guys had a taurus rising and his stellium was located in the 12th house so maybe that is why he seemed much calmer and almost melancholic?)
Scorpio rising women
Scorpio rising women tend to have square/ rectangular and straight body types. Their shoulders tend to be really prominent and squarish.
They are also usually of a smaller height, or just smaller than average. They also have a pretty prominent forehead and prominent cheekbones.
Here’s a visual example of Scorpio rising women :
Maya from XG - Scorpio rising (Tropical) (it is not confirmed since we don't know her time of birth but I think scorpio could be her rising sign)
Grimes - Scorpio rising (Tropical)
Bee’s Honey Tarot - Scorpio rising (Sidereal)
Lily Rose Depp - Scorpio rising (Tropical)
(/!\ all of them are skinny and most of them are white so it definitely doesn’t represent every Scorpio rising women out there but more so a sub-group that I have identified /!\)
stay blessed 💋💕💗💖💅
#astro observations#astro notes#astrology#aries rising#libra energy#aries stellium#scorpio rising women#scorpio rising#astrology tumblr#astrology community#astroblr
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could i have some stu x fem!reader going camping hcs? like it’s him, reader, the rest of the group just going camping and having a good time :))
𝐜𝐚𝐦𝐩𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐠𝐚𝐧𝐠 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐜𝐚𝐧𝐨𝐧𝐬!! :>
pairing: implied stu macher x fem!reader
a/n: I LITERALLY LOVE YOU FOR REQUESTING THIS OHFOHDEGKIGTPJUPKHOJDTGQRHOYYU
i cannot express how much i fucking think about this group. there will be plenty of the ‘gang’ content coming soon!! picturing them doing the stupidest shit together is just, AH.
anyways anon, thank you for your request that made me so ridiculously happy lol (ENJOY!!)
UPDATE: YO. THIS HAS BEEN IN MY DRAFTS FOR ABOUT A YEAR AND ITS SLIGHTLY UNFINISHED BUT I’LL JUST GIVE IT TO Y’ALL ANYWAY
warnings: harsh language, randy thinking he’s literally gordon ramsey
• Boy oh boy, summertime had finally came around once again. Giving you all a pretty good idea of what was coming soon..
CAMPING!
• Okay, okay.. this hadn’t originally been apart any of your guys’ plans, but all of your parents were stubborn and wanted you to spend more time together.
• And apparently camping was just the right way to do so? Whatever. It’s not like any of you were ever going to win if you tried to protest on going each year. You lot VS a ton of parents? Fuck. It would never work.
• The agreed arrangement had been Stu, Billy, Randy, Sidney, Tatum and yourself to all go camping for atleast one week during summer break.
• Of course Billy was always the one trying to creep his way out of this shitty plan. It had been going on for so many years that the rest of y’all stopped trying at this point. But Billy? Oh, he was pretty damn adamant on faking whatever dumbass illness he could think of.
• You all made bets on who he would call that year, trying to convince that person on how very ‘poorly’ he was doing.
“I can’t go. I have a cold.”
“It’s July..”
“I HAVE A COLD.”
• His dad ended up dragging him out of the house and right into the van Stu’s parents bought him specifically for this occasion.
• After checking you guys had everything packed and ready to go, you were off into the hills!
• It was an interesting road trip to say the least, hours of Randy complaining he had to take a piss, plus Billy whining about how he didn’t wanna be here.. yeah.. an ideal three hours, huh? Jesus.
• The minute you guys arrive, Randy instantly runs over to a tree a little further away from you guys and pulls down his pants, urinating onto the land.
• Tatum always tends to start an argument and tells him how fucking disgusting he is, but he insists that she shuts her mouth and waits until it’s HER turn to be forced to have her bodily functions take over.
“Yeah, yeah, it’s all fun and games until you have to take a dump in the bushes!!”
“AS IF!” Tatum squealed.
“Cut the bullshit, Alicia. You know it’s gonna happen sooner or later.” Billy chimed in.
• You insist on everyone taking a little walk through the woods, just to get familiar with the area once again.
• The rest of the gang agree and head on out with you, embracing the peaceful surrounding.
• You, Billy and Stu slowly walk side by side as the other three are already way ahead of you, arguing over the dumbest shit once again.
• Randy and Tatum always argued non fucking stop everytime you all went camping. Sidney would just awkwardly tag along, trying to change the subject to literally anything else..
• The three ask for permission to go back to camp, seeing as Tatum had made the poor choice of wearing her cute little white boots, though unfortunately they had heels.
• This just meant more peace and quiet for yourself, Billy and Stu. You’d see your other friends later, of course. But a tad bit of extra time with your boyfriend and another one of your closest friends wasn’t going to hurt.
• You guys returned for sun down, as spending all night in the goddamn woods of all places would be rather idiotic of you.
• Each and every one of your stomach’s began to growl, so Stu finally decided to whip out the grill!
• He had packed some hotdogs and burgers, ready to be cooked as soon as possible. Randy also brought along some snacks of course because you know, it’s Randy lmao.
• Another argument breaks out, but this time it’s between both Randy and Stu. Supposedly, Stu was in charge of bringing topping and sauces for the hotdogs. (Of course he had to forget it..)
“Aw, fuck this!” Randy said with a mouthful of food, throwing the remaining piece of his hotdog at a nearby tree.
“NOOOO!” Stu yelped. “What the fuck, man! You ruined a perfectly good hotdog!!”
Randy scoffed. “STU.. MY MOUTH FEELS DRIER THAN A DEAD WOMAN’S VAGINA.. THIS IS SO PLAIN. YOU DIDN’T EVEN BRING PICKLES DUDE..”
…
“Sorry but who the fuck puts pickles on a hotdog?”
“WHERE’S THE FLAVOUR IN THIS PIECE OF SHIT? IT’S BLAND. PAINFULLY BLAND.”
You pinched the bridge of your nose, seemed like Randy was having his Gordon Ramsey moment.
• After drunk Randy’s constant complaining and Stu almost losing it over the fact you guys decided you’d make s’mores tomorrow instead of the present night, it didn’t take long until everyone decided to crash for the night. You all had proper tents built up, despite what y’all went through to get them that way..
“No, no, you’re gonna do it wrong. You see, you gotta make sure you’ve put the peg in the right place first.” Billy reminded Stu, trying his hardest to set up their tent. He knew his sleep was going to benefit from this of course, so that was the only reason why he began caring at this point.
“I got it!” Stu smiled, attempting to smack the peg with his mini hammer.
“THAT WAS MY FINGER YOU FU-”
Billy was sure he’d be sweating bullets for days after fully setting up the camp for everyone. He truly didn’t think it would be so hard, but much to his dismay, he was proven wrong.
• Randy and Tatum flat out refused to share a tent together, so they gave Billy the hassle of making two separate tents instead. Whereas Billy and Stu had agreed on sleeping in a tent together, whilst you and Sidney were more than happy to do the exact same thing.
• The tents were rather thin, causing everyone else to hear what was going on inside each tent. Including Randy letting out the odd bit of gas here and there or him sleep talking about ‘Prom Night’ with Jamie Lee Curtis.
• As the sunlight crept its way into everyone’s tents, you all began to stir and awaken. Morning was here. And you were all going to have to get up and start the day.
• Today was rock climbing! Something that had split opinions from the majority of you. Those like yourself, Stu and Tatum found it fun, but others such as Billy, Sidney and Randy weren’t too keen on it.
“You’re all such pussies, man. It’s safe. I don’t know why the three of you complain about it every damn year.” Stu remarked, his attention on your other three friends who really couldn’t be bothered to participate in such an activity right now.
“Please. You only like it because you’re tall and fast enough to catch yourself before you fall.” Billy snorted.
#scream#scream headcanons#headcanons#stu macher x reader#billy loomis#stu macher#sidney prescott#randy meeks#tatum riley#x reader#reader#ghostface#matthew lillard#skeet ulrich#neve campbell#jamie kennedy#rose mcgowan#scream fandom#ghastlyfilters#camping
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I think a romantic or even platonic Tony vs Steve rivalry is hella underrated, especially during Civil War! Do ya mind writing a concept about it? Thx! <3
Of course! I'll keep it around the Civil War era yet I'll talk about a general idea of it. Been awhile since I saw Civil War so I did what I could do :)
Yandere! Tony Stark vs Steve Rogers
(Civil War Era)
Pairing: Romantic/Platonic - Rivalry
Possible Trigger Warnings: Gender-Neutral Darling, Overprotective, Manipulation, Tracking, Kidnapping, Trust issues, Violence, Dubious relationship, Trauma mention, Isolation, Attempted murder, Possessive behavior.
For this I'll be focusing more on the chaos this pair causes rather than how you meet the two.
You could meet in many ways, honestly if you somehow have connections with one of them you most likely know about the other.
Out of all the times this rivalry could take place, this is the most intense time.
The Avengers are already being torn apart by different ideals... with you in the picture?
You will not know peace.
Tony wants you on his side as he feels he can protect you better if he supports the Sokovia Accords.
Superhuman accidents would be monitored and with his tech you'd surely be safer than with Steve.
Steve's always been one for freedom and feels he would be limited if he agreed with Tony.
As a result he feels you'd be in danger if there wasn't anyone to help you... which makes him want you to join him.
They both have similar ideas at their core.
They're heroes... they want to protect the people...
They want to protect you.
The two can't agree or share in the slightest.
It would be better for you if you distanced yourself from the situation as best you can.
In fact, going into hiding is definitely better.
They'd both be desperate to have you on their own side.
Tony may try to bribe you while Steve does genuine attempts to convince you.
Tony feels Steve wouldn't protect you.
Steve feels Tony would restrict your freedom (which is ironic).
They would fight verbally and physically.
You just become another reason they can't agree, tearing apart The Avengers even more.
There would be differences in the rivalry depending on who you side with.
>> Choosing Team Captain America
If you choose Steve, you have to deal with Tony's team hunting you down.
Steve's protective and caring with you.
He brings you into hiding with him and Bucky, promising to protect you both.
His best friend... and his darling....
Steve asks Sam, Clint, Scott and Wanda to defend you and Bucky with him.
He knows damn well how Tony feels about your decision.
The man is no doubt pissed.
Steve's right.
Tony gets his team to scan everywhere for you.
He can't believe you!
He offers you protection and you go with Steve?
Unbelievable!
Tony isn't going to rest until he finds where you and Steve are.
Meanwhile... Steve tries to reassure you that you made the right choice.
With a comforting yet eerily possessive hold, Steve promises he'll never let you go.
Even if it requires him to have blood on his hands.
>> Choosing Team Iron Man
If you choose to side with Tony, you now have to deal with Steve's team.
Tony praises you for your choice and gets straight to business.
He's caring yet a bit more cold... he's stressed about Steve and his war criminal friends.
Tony is more paranoid due to trauma and locks you up in a secluded building he has.
He claims it's for your own safety and it appears he's one of the more unstable of the MCU yanderes.
Would you rather be caught by Steve? It's too dangerous, baby....
The isolation is much better for you.
You won't be alone... after all, he's here.
If he isn't? Then there's James, T'challa, Natasha, Vision, and even Peter to help him.
You're under much higher security with Tony, yet not much freedom.
Steve would try his best to locate you but it may take longer.
No matter who you choose... at some point the two team will clash and you may even be traded among them.
You'll get tired of it fast.
Tony and Steve get violent towards each other.
You're surprised they haven't killed each other yet.
In fact... they just might go through with it.
For plot reasons they may not entirely murder each other.
Their respective teams will prevent that...
But they REALLY try.
They may just come to the conclusion the only way to guarantee your safety is to... get rid of the other.
Safe to say they've lost their minds due to the stress and obsession rooted in their mind.
Steve doesn't like the idea of killing Tony... but he has to defend himself and you, no?
Meanwhile... Tony?
Tony's so self-absorbed he doesn't care if Steve is thrown in jail or dies.
He just needs to be out of the picture.
By the end of Civil War, one of them will emerge "victorious".
It could be either of them.
By the end of it... you just want to rest.
You just want to be alone.
Yet... you'll be stuck with one of them in the end.
They both say they want to protect you...
But is their protection really what's best for you?
#yandere marvel#yandere mcu#yandere iron man#yandere mcu iron man#yandere mcu captain america#yandere captain america#yandere tony stark#yandere steve rogers
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you want complex characters? here's Gale.
I am fully convinced that people only hate Gale bc it's Liam Hemsworth and because they think he's annoying - and yeah, it's true, he IS annoying, but to like president snow more than him? (its pretty privilege)
Most people know by now that the love triangle in thg is for metaphorical purposes - the choice between peace and war. And it's not even a choice as a reader - there is quite literally no chemistry between gale and katniss (in my opinion). But that doesn't merit hatred for the character himself.
He grows up in the seam, poor and being the breadwinner for his siblings. (how sad) We're supposed to disagree with his motives by the end of it - he shouldn't want to get revenge because that makes him as bad as the capitol (yada yada yada). And Peeta is in the right because he wants to show mercy. (peace vs war)
But Peeta grows up as the bakers son. Has he ever gone hungry? No. Are we meant to feel bad for him because of his mum? idk. His name was in the bowl far, far less times. Does that make it any better? No, because he's picked (and this is meant to be about how the system is awful... you get it). But Peeta doesn't grow up hating the capitol because they don't hurt him... until the games.
Is this an attack on Peeta? No, of course not, but circumstances are important as the actions taken within them (situation ethics). Peeta goes into the games and you'd think his outlook on life changes, but it doesn't. Some people have stronger cores - a lifetime of security within yourself does that.
Peeta goes into the games again, Gale saves the citizens of 12 in the bombing. Peeta's kidnapped. And Gale says this:
"He might have been tortured. Or persuaded. My guess is he made some kind of deal to protect you. He'd put forth the idea of the cease- fire if Snow let him present you as a confused pregnant girl who had no idea what was going on when she was taken prisoner by the rebels. This way, if the districts lose, there's still a chance of leniency for you. If you play it right." I must still look perplexed because Gale delivers the next line very slowly. "Katniss…he's still trying to keep you alive."
So, he's annoying, but is he a liar? No. He's ever the strategist, thinking of things from the logical point of view. (really grasping for straws but I need a pro and less cons😭)
People really hated Gale for bombs - killing innocent people that just want to help the fallen? (ohno how sad). But are capitol citizens ever really innocent? Bystanders that simply allow children to be murdered year after year? The idea that they simply have no idea of the harm being caused is ludicrous. Do they not have critical thinking skills? No matter what happens in life, you KNOW murder is wrong. No matter what propaganda media shows you.
(also Beetee helped make those bombs too like gale was annoying but stop giving him full credit like if I was beetee I'd be pissed)
So, that comes to the idea that killing people as a whole is unethical, and it doesn't matter that they're awful people. Is that untrue? No. Is it far to those that have been oppressed their entire lives, being told that using force against their oppressors is wrong? Maybe. It's not an easy issue to resolve (kinda explains the metaphor, doesn't it?)
Neoliberalism probably wants you to blame the individuals. Coin, Gale, Snow. Coin and Snow were two sides of the same coin (ooh pun) - politicians, adults, playing for their own power. Is it wrong to enjoy power? No, of course not, just don't abuse it. Gale enjoyed power. But he was fighting for the freedom of the country, not himself. And he's only 19/20. You're a lot angrier when you're younger, as many adults forget.
The system is the real problem, clearly. Why should the capitol have all the power? Why are the districts being used? We don't know. But that's unimportant.
And then there's Katniss. She's the one making the decision - peace or war. On paper, its peace anyday. Katniss has seen both Peeta and Gale's hardships - Gale is a metaphor for who she could have been. Bitter, angry and hateful. It's not unjustified hatred but under Kantian ethics, murder is always wrong. Katniss does not want to retaliate because it's a vicious cycle of violence.
As far as we know, the capitol don't really pay for all they do. I know if I was a district citizen who suffered, I'd want capitol citizens to feel the same way. That is not to say that it is ethical, but it is not unjustified.
It would be more of a fair argument if Peeta and Gale suffered equally, but can you really quantify suffering. Their experiences shape them. Its easier for Peeta to want mercy for the capitol because he wasn't starved his whole life. And Peeta's stance is the right one.
But see, that's why we say complex character and not good person. Because the decisions aren't malicious in intent, just with clashing personal values to the norm. Like, bffr, half the people online hating on this guy would NOT have stood for mercy for the capitol.
(anyway have a nice day this was my ethics essay plan and I'd better get a 9 on it or else <333)
#the hunger games#catching fire#the ballad of songbirds and snakes#mockingjay#ethics#morality#gale hawthorne#peeta mellark#katniss everdeen
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Are you facing a terrible dilemma in the Lauda vs Mansell hottest driver poll? In my essay I will help you clear your judgement!
The challenge of this poll by @hottestdriverspoll is rather unique, as both drivers stray from the traditional beauty of drivers like Ayrton Senna or Elio De Angelis, but still possess unique and charming characteristics.
I propose to evaluate both drivers according to their behaviour in a specific situation: what did they do when Senna pissed them off? Elio's brazilian teammate had a tendency for a rather aggressive behaviour on track, which made many people angry. Let us start with Niki Lauda:
“In that final year I remember in Monte Carlo, after Senna had taken provisional pole position and I was doing my quick lap. He was on the racing line in front of me, not moving. Any chance of pole position for me was gone. Afterwards I went up to him and said: ‘Why are you blocking?’ He replied, ‘Why should I not block?’ I told him we are both in the same boat, trying to get pole position. Why the stupid attitude? ‘Because that’s the way I am,’ he said and walked away. ‘So the next day, all through practice, I was waiting for him. All practice. When at last his car came behind me, I stopped. To zero. Didn’t even move my car. He nearly ran into the back of me. After this he came up to me, screaming like you can’t believe. ‘Did you get the message?’ I asked him. ‘You screwed me up. Is it clever or not?’ In the end he came back and said, ‘Okay, peace…’ Maybe that was his way of showing a little respect.”
A solid reply that fits Niki's style perfectly, and shows that future champion or not, Senna better pay his respects to a fearless man like Niki.
Let us continue with Nigel Mansell:
I found him (Senna) in the Lotus garage and I went over to him, grabbed him by the overalls and pushed him up against the wall. He wore loose overalls in those days and I pulled the zip up beyond his chin to just below his nose. "Next time you do that," I said, "You're going to have to do a better job."
Nigel has no time for psychological warfare, and goes for a rather blunt method instead, showing us (and everyone in the Lotus garage) that sometimes brute force is all that is necessary.
Now, let us remember that this is a "hottest drivers poll", and such one must use their pussy to evaluate the hottest one.
I propose that of both responses, Nigel Mansell's is actually the hottest one, as shoving a rival against a wall and grabbing the zip of his overalls reads like the preamble of some steamy fanfiction. It's physical, fearless and sexy.
In conclusion, vote for Nigel Mansell!
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Ive seen a couple of your marvel x dc posts and i was wondering what you thought about hulk crossing over with superman - they’ve got a lot of similarities but also couldn’t be more different
Well I mean, this is also where we get into the "DC being defined by the late 30's/WW2 vs. Marvel being defined by the 1960's" issue again. Superman, at his core, is meant to be a paragon of goodness, the ultimate fantasy of power being used to do good, meanwhile Bruce Banner/The Hulk is a very literal embodiment of Man Vs. Self and one constantly being in fear of the destructive force of one's power. The thing is, DC did kind of have a tribute to the Hulk in the 90's with its character of Edward Walker/Loose Cannon.
So you do have some hints as to how Superman would interact with that sort of character by looking at Loose Cannon's first appearance, though honestly, even as a tribute to the Hulk, there are significant differences between Walker and Banner.
I think the thing that would really define Superman + Hulk interactions is the fact that Superman's character is frequently defined by his own restraint, the fact that his power level basically calls on him to be "The Adult" in all situations. In interacting with Bruce Banner, I think you'd really see Superman's compassionate side, just really earnestly attempting to help Bruce come to terms with the Hulk as a part of himself and, in doing so, gain a greater sense of inner peace.
Superman: I just... think you're a little harsh on the guy. Yeah, he's crushed a lot of tanks, but he's also saved a lot of lives. I think he's more lonely, than anything. It's hard when not even you are seeing yourself as human.
Bruce Banner: Sounds like someone's projecting.
Superman: *snort* Maybe...
Meanwhile his interactions with the Hulk would be like...
Superman: You're better than this. *narrowly dodges a punch*
Hulk: GRAAAGGGH!
Superman: And I don't mean Banner, I mean you. *ducks out of the way of another punch*
Hulk: *even more enraged* RRRAAAAAGGGHHHH!!
Superman: You don't come out unless there's a pretty damn good reason, so my question is, am I really where you want to direct... *gestures* all this? *swoops out of the way of another strike*
Hulk: RRRARRRHGH!
Superman: *sigh* ... I'm probably just pissing you off more at this point, huh? Look, that's really not my intentio-- *gets punched through three buildings*
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Hloo !
In the fight w bakugo and shouto vs all might, bakugoes goes all
''Theres no way mister perfect could've done something to piss off all might''
And that got me thinking , what would bakugou think if he learner that shouto was part of the biggest quirk heist in history that directly traumatised said symbol of peace
His brain would have a 404 ERROR reaction for a second and then, he would think "Nothing can surprise anymore" and as soon as he finishes that though, I will hit him with the revelation that Izuku stole All Might's quirk and traumatized the Symbol of Peace.
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