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cosmic-rainestorm · 3 years

Text

Jealousy looks good on you - Brainy x reader

Warning:jealous Brainy. Also spoilers for S5E10.

This was requested by @diva-1992

It was strange to say the least, seeing multiple versions of your boyfriend in the same room. Ever since crisis and the rebirth of the Earth, many things have changed. A few examples is the fact that there is no more multiverse, everyone we have met on the different earth's is on one earth, Lex Luthor is liked by people and now there is multiple Brainiac 5's.

Other than the initial strangeness, the initial incident of when they all saw you and the mild discomfort from how the other Brainy's looked at you that went after a couple of minutes, you found it absolutely hilarious how they all contrasted from each other. Plus, they were generally great people to be around once the staring got to a bearable amount.

Happy Querl was easy to talk to and very enthusiastic, maybe a tad bit too much. Scared Querl had great fashion style and could have a nice conversation with once he wasn't in a constant jittering mess. Female Querl was confident and was straight to the point whilst also considering her words, although she could be kind of cold at moments. However none of them were the true Brainy, your Brainy. The one you fell in love with. He was a mix of all three but even better, and you loved him for him.

He, however, couldn't get past his own insecurities and jealousy over how well you got on with the others, and what they all did when they saw.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Situated in the room where eyepatch Brainy was left to rest, you couldn't help but feel sadness towards the man laying in front of you. He looked exactly like your Querl, except for the eyepatch, so how could you not feel an emotion to a dead man who looks identical to the one you love, even if you are yet to say it.

Prime Brainy strode into the room, pulling you out of your thoughts almost instantaneously. He pulled you into a hug and kiss you softly on the head in a form of reassurance that things would be okay.

"Brainy, I-I know that it isn't you lying on that table, but hunny, I can't help but feel grief towards him," you whispered to your partner "he looks exactly like you, probably thought like you as well, I can't help think of what his life was like on his Earth, if he found someone who got him like you and I get each other. Plus, knowing there is a killer coming after Brainiac 5's doesn't help ease any worries that you could be next. I-I-I can't lose you Querl."

Tear started pricking in your eyes at the mere thought of losing your Brainy and he could clearly tell the rodeal was upsetting you. As a couple of tears started falling down your cheeks, Brainy cupped you face ever so softly to try and centre you as he spoke,

"y/n, if you are feeling guilt for grieving for this man, don't. Your right, he does look like me, except for the eyepatch, sprock it is cool," he exclaimed with a small smile making you laugh "and he probably thought like me as well. If anything, you feeling grief towards my doppelganger shows how much you care about me, and it flatters me. And darling, you don't need to worry about me dying anytime soon. I'm not ready to leave you and I won't be for a very long time. Everyone is trying to figure out how exactly eyepatch me died and how to stop it should it happen again. In mean time, do not worry about whether I am alright or not okay?"

"Okay"

With that, you both got back to work to try an figure out how the other Brainiac 5's got to your Earth. However, that got disruptive when a certain ponytailed Colouan squealed your name and pulled you into a kiss, leaving both you and Querl stunned to say the least.

"Sprock y/n, I am so glad you made to see you, but why are you on this Earth?"

After the initial stun of the kiss, you blinked your back into exist to see two very similar but different Brainy's infront of you. I didn't help that when the other Brainiac's walked into the room, they also kissed you (angsty Querl on the top of your head and Female Querl also on the lips) and asked the same question. All you could do was stand there frozen until you fully comprehend what ahd just happened.

"Ummmmm, I'm on this Earth because I - live - hereee, " you uneasily resonded "I'm y/f/n y/l/n, I'm uh guessing you knew my dopplegangers huh."

You laughed slightly xnot knowing how to act as they all gave you looks of apologises. However your Brainy seemed to look more pissed off than apologetic to what just happened. Especially since his fist was slightly clenched whilst he rested his face atop it.

"Yes, it seems they do," he gritted out when suddenly he became very calm "y/n, do you mind if I have a word with my fellow Brainiac's, I would like to ask them questions surrounding how they got here but would prefer to ask them alone."

He simply smiled at you waiting for your answer. If you were honest, it not only scared you a little, but also intrigued you.

" Um yes of course dear. I have diagnostics to run anyway. It was uh lovely meeting you all."

With that, you left the room that all the Brainiac's were situatedto run diagnostics and simulations to try and solve their problem, whilst also getting away from all the staring and awkwardness of what just happened . However, Brainy wanted to know the reason as to why the other 3 were continuously looking at you and to why they kissed you

"If you don't mind me asking, why exactly were did all three of you kissed MY y/n"

All three turned to each other then looked at him. It wasn't until female Brainy spoke up did he get his answer.

"Well on my Earth, y/n was my wife for a year and a half and my partner for 4"

"Ah yes, she was also my girlfriend for 2 years, 7 months and 13.5 days. And what a tremendous girlfriend she is, well was I guess." Happy Brainy explained with a hint of sadness.

"ye-yes, y/n was m-my girlfriend for nearly 3 years as w-w-well. I loved her dearly, I would do absolutely anyth-thing for her."

Brainy was finding this hard to comprehend. Not only were they all him, they all had relationships with their Earths' version of you. It gave him a strange feeling, a feeling he severely did not like.

With his anxieties running wild, he left the room to run calculations and to try and keep his mind off the whole scenario.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

It was only two hours later when you found Brainy huddled up in a spare room with a tablet. The other three had apologised to you and aexplained their situations and how it would take getting used being around a y/n that wasn't their own.

Leaning against the wall, you admired the Coluan that you were in love with and smiled softly to yourself.

"So, this is were you've been hiding, I was starting to worry darling."

After not getting an answer back which was odd to say the least, you started to get worried about Brainy.

"Brainy, are you okay. Is the other Brainiacs being here cause you to stress." you softly asked

No answer, only the soft murmuring of jumbled words could be heard from Brainy, a sign of either he was deep in thought or highly stressed.

"Querl, what's wrong, please talk to me"

"why would it matter" he huffed angrily "you probably prefer talking to one of the other versions of me."

You couldn't believe what he was saying, why would you want to talk to the others, you had obviously gone looking for him so you could spend time together away from the drama.

And then it hit you. You almost scolded yourself for not noticing it sooner. The clenched fist, the sudden calm nature of his commanding question, the forced smile, and the lack of contact just now.

"You're jealous, aren't you?" you pondered aloud with a slight smirk.

The question caused his head to whip around to face you, making you smirk more out of amusment.

"I am not jealous" he slightly gritted out.

"Oh but I think you are dear"

"That is proposterus-"

"It isn't though, because all he telltale signs are the-hmph"

In an instant, you were backed up into the nearest wall, Brainy towering over you. His breathing heavy, his hair dishevelled and his dark eyes piercing into your's. (If this isn't definition of scared and horny I don't know what is)

"y/n I am not jealous. I just don't like when they look at you or when they are talking to you or when they are near you. Especially after they had l kissed you. This is highly rational since you are MY girlfriend and you are the person that I fell in love with and I don't want anyone to get in the way of us, not even my dopplegangers since I am that in love with you!" he huffed out.

It took you both awhile for his confession of love to dawn on the both of you. At this point, both of your breathing was slightly erratic due to his confession (and because of Brainy, I mean damn). Brainy couldn't read your reaction to his reveal, whether you were happy, sad or confused. He was about to say he was sorry when your lips started to curl upwards into a smile that could only be described as full of love and adoration.

"I love you too, I have for a long time though I just didn't know how to tell you. And Querl, no one can get in the way of that, not even your dopplegangers, because they aren't you, they aren't the Coluan I fell so deeply in love with."

Brainy was ecstatic and so full of emotions that he leant down and kissed you feverishly on the lips, pouring every emotion he felt for you into that kiss, which you reciprocated with ease.

"Agent y/l/n, Director Danvers would like to see you"

Breaking apart with a slight gasp for air, you leant your forehead against Brainy's, slowly bringing your breathing back to a normal pace.

"How about when I've finished talking to Alex, you and me can work together to figure how the other Brainiac's got to our Earth. And once we have it all sorted out, you and me can go back to my place, order takeout and watch some movies. That sound good.

"Yes, I would very much like that, my love."

As you slowly walked towards the door to leave, a grin appeared on your face as you turned back to Brainy.

"Oh and by the way. You look extremely hot when your jealous love."

BONUS:

As Brainy entered the main control room, he saw you, Kara, Alex and the other Brainiac's standing around the main control panel.

With jealousy still coursing through him, Querl strode towards you and pulled you into a passionate kiss, shocking the others.

As he pulled away, he turned to his dopplegangers and smiled.

"y/n, is mine, got it"

Once they had all nodded, he walked away with a grin, leaving you a blushing mess and ran after him to slightly scold him.

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AHHHHHHHHH, I HAD SO MUCH FUN WRITING THIS.

14th May - just proof read it as I saw some misspellings

#arrowverse #supergirl #supergirl x reader #supergirl imagine #brainiac 5 x reader #brainiac 5 #brainiac 5 imagines #brainy x reader #brainy imagines #brainy #querl dox x reader #querl dox

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zzinvolterra · 4 years

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I’ve read your post about the downsides of having powers and I loved it cause I always thought it couldn’t be that easy. Now I want to know the others!

I have a couple of ideas but I’d love to read your headcannons for Aro, Marcus, Edward, Alice, Jasper... I mean... everyone with a power.

Have a splendid day and be safe!

[previous post]

Thank you so much, you too!!

// mentions of panic attacks, anxiety attacks, sensory overload //

Aro

When he touches someone, he can read every though the person has ever had.

The possibilities. I think the primary concern would be losing or mixing up his own memories with others’ thoughts. He’s come into contact with vampires with millions of their own thoughts many times, and because of his memory, they’re all locked in there, perfectly preserved forever. (Also, the criminals that he would be reading would likely have quite gruesome memories.) So forgetting who he is, experiencing constant déjà vu and horrific flashbacks (that aren’t his... or are they?), and becoming overwhelmed to the point where he can’t function are all very possible.

Marcus

He sees the relationships or connections people have to one another.

I suppose Marcus could occasionally be overwhelmed, perhaps experiencing headaches when looking at a large coven. (Also, there’s so much honesty in his gift, meaning in nearly every relationship he has, he knows exactly how they feel about him. Which could be painful at times.)

Didyme

Aura of happiness, I guess. [not a quote]

Didyme emits an aura of happiness that seems unconscious and may have occurred to a lesser degree as a human. Like I mentioned before with Chelsea, every relationship she’s had could have been affected by that. (...including Didyme/Marcus - would their love be the same if she didn’t have her Ability?) And depending on how much her gift affects a person, she could be sobbing (vampirically) and everyone else in the room would still be grinning and laughing euphorically.

Everyone else is under the cut!

Edward

Edward can read the thoughts of anyone in close proximity to him...

I just started MS, so I’m not quite sure how this is in canon, but I imagine it would be quite easy for Edward to become overwhelmed, especially as a newborn when he didn’t know how to block out voices. He could also experience migraines. Plus, in terms of how much he’s got bouncing around in his head, he’s like Aro Jr. Not Good.

Alice

She can see into the future, although what she sees is based on decisions being made; thus, she must wait for a decision to be firmly rooted in the mind or acted upon, before she can see the end result.

Her visions send her into an almost catatonic state, and she sees them often enough that there must be quite a few of them preserved in her mind. She exists on a different plane of reality, really, that must make it harder for her to connect with others. Could definitely see her experiencing constant déjà vu (she’s just living to catch up to her next vision) as well as anxiety attacks from trying to avert every single possible disaster.

Jasper

Jasper has the ability to both feel and manipulate the emotions of those around him.

It seems like Jasper is constantly inundated with the emotions of others, including their thirst, so him experiencing sensory overload is definitely possible. He’s also able to manipulate others with his gift, so unconsciously influencing someone could be a concern of his.

Bella

Her mind is impenetrable; no one can read her thoughts unless she allows it. She can shield herself from all types of psychic attacks and learns to shield those around her.

I like to think that Bella feels a dampened down version of whatever she’s blocking, especially when she’s expanded her shield. For example, she could feel a stinging sensation when Jane attempted to Pain™ them in BD.

Resume

She can show people her thoughts by touching their skin. So far, no one has been able to block her talent.

Sounds scary, but okay. Maybe showing other people her thoughts drains her energy? (While we’re talking about her, I support the headcanon that Resume is like an immortal child in the way that she draws people in and encourages them to die for protect her. Her Ability could increase that effect.) There are also some weird parallels between her and Aro.

Zafrina

Zafrina has a strong illusory talent. She can make her target see any illusion she wants, or see nothing at all.

Hmm. I suppose for Zafrina, she could perhaps experience a diluted form of her own Ability when using it on others for an extended period of time. I’m assuming that she has to concentrate on what she wants them to see, and maybe after a while, she starts seeing bits of it herself. Or, her own vision could start growing dimmer as she exerts more energy.

Eleazar

He has the ability to sense the type and strength of gifted vampires’ talents.

Eleazar is like a gift metal detector. Consequences could be that being around powerful gifts, or many at the same time, could overwhelm him. For example, getting headaches when he was part of the Volturi or during the army witness gathering in BD. (And I’m assuming Aro visits him semi-regularly, which is not an enviable position to be in.)

Kate

She has the power to cause a painful, electric shock-like jolt in anyone she touches.

I think with Kate, she could become drained, especially if she’s touching more than one person or using her Ability for an extended period of time. And until she fine-tuned her control over her gift, she was probably shocking everybody and was afraid to touch those she loved in fear of hurting them.

Benjamin

He can influence the elements – water, earth, fire, and air. He is able to physically manipulate the world around him with his will, similar to telekinetic.

Because of his power, Benjamin wasn’t allowed to leave the house for years, so yeah. Downside of being the Avatar is everybody wants you. Also, it seemed, at least in my opinion, that he doesn’t have the greatest control over his gift - meaning every time he uses it, it’s large and powerful. In the BD (movie) vision, he creates a chasm... that’s deep enough to reach magma? (Fault lines!!) So if he were to ever lose that bit of control over his Ability, he would do a lot of damage.

Maggie

She is able to tell if a person is lying.

Maggie is compelled to point out lies, to the point where she can’t stop even when people become uncomfortable and punish her for needing to state the truth. Therefore, hearing lies could hurt her, mentally or emotionally. It could also be sort-of an obsession of hers to have everything be the “truth”. (Do with this what you will - basically what I’m trying to say is that Maggie is unable to not point out lies.)

Siobhan?

Some suspect she can affect the outcome of a situation through willpower alone.

If she does have an Ability, I suppose it could be that the outcomes she causes have unintended side effects - a bit like how Alice attempts to manipulate events, but those new events bring new potential disasters.

James

He was a skilled tracker, able to sense in advance the most likely moves of his prey.

Demetri-ish? Hyper-aware of his surroundings.

Victoria

She was exceptionally good at evading enemies.

She’s canonically good at hide-and-seek...? To me, it seems like an Ability that was invented to explain why nobody could find her, but all right. Perhaps a mix of Afton, hiding-wise (though she doesn’t turn invisible-ish), and Bella, evading-Demetri-wise.

Fred

He has the ability to make anyone feel physically repulsed. He can use this ability to make someone unable to think of him for a period of time.

In “The Second Life of Bree Tanner”, it seems like Fred’s Ability is always active. Perhaps gaining control of that power could be difficult because, until he does, he pushes everyone away...(Reneta-ish?) Also, he’s called “Freaky Fred”. Rude.

Raoul

He had a limited ability to make others view him as their leader. It worked best on those who were directionless.

This is hard because it almost seems like Raoul is just exceptionally charismatic. Potential scenario: if his directionless followers somehow found direction, he would have to deal with an uprising.

Alistair

Alistair can track both people and things. He can sense the general direction of whatever he is looking for, but it takes him a long time to narrow this feeling down to a specific location.

(He’s very good at finding those car keys.) He would be aware of his surroundings, similar to Demetri but to a lesser degree. Not sure if he’d be as overwhelmed as often since it seems like he needs to focus on something specifically to find it, but I imagine his first few years weren’t fun.

Charles

Charles can sense when someone is lying to him.

Maggie 2.0? Or perhaps more accurately, Maggie 0.5? Sounds like he’s essentially Maggie, but less affected by lies.

Mele

Could take Abilities and transfer them to other people. However, she couldn’t use the gifts herself. [Also not a quote]

Gift snatched. Her power on its own is not very helpful to her survival, since she can’t harness the gifts she takes, nor is it beneficial to her existence. In my opinion, Mele, due to her Ability, will always be stuck in the position of serving someone (like Sulpicia in Life and Death) or be killed because she’s a threat (Aro).

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ilovefandoms102 · 4 years

Text

Endless Love

Pairing: JJ Maybank x Plus Size Reader

Summary: JJ has a surprise for you...

Taglist:

@drewswannabegirl @velyssaraptor @kaitieskidmore1 @jiaraendgame @teamnick @jeyramarie @they-write-once-in-a-blue-moon @baby-pogue @ma10427 @judayyyw @must-be-a-weasley-92 @iamaunicorn4704 @agirlwholovescoffee @justcallmesams @lasnaro @lonely-kermit @jellyfishbeansontoast @ifilwtmfc @gviosca @fernweh-fangirl @runway-to-my-aid @eb15 @tangledinsparkles @hurricane-abigail @outerbongs @jaxandcomet

Note: This is another request I hope I did you justice! Also just wanted to throw a quick psa that I DO NOT condone body shaming or anything of the sort. I am a plus size female and the words used in my writings are words that not only myself but others I know have heard said about their size. Body shaming is still happening today and I want to shed light on the fact that no matter your size YOU ARE WORTHY, YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL, YOU DESERVE LOVE! There is not enough representation for plus size queens on this app and I created this series so that whoever reads it feels inclusive since most reader inserts are assumed to be a cute, short, skinny female. Not saying there is anything wrong with that, but there is never any stories that females are described in various shapes and sizes which is why I created this series. If you are triggered by anything in these fics then please do not read these and hurt yourself. Anyways, I hope you guys enjoy!

=======================================

After a long day at work, there was nothing more satisfying then seeing JJ. The way his beautiful baby blue eyes sparkled every time he saw me, and the way his whole face would light up. He was the light I needed in the darkness of my mind. He made me feel beautiful despite what others, and myself think. He made me feel like I deserved more than what I let myself believe.

======================================

It was a busy day at The Wreck, Kie and I were flying around the restaurant serving customers. Just as it had slowed down, the guys came in. I was cleaning a table, so my back was turned to them. I felt a pair of arms around me and jumped. I turned to see JJ, his signature goofy grin adorning his features.

“Hi,” I whispered, still clutching the rag I was using.

“I wish I would have known you were planning on looking so sexy today. I would have stopped and got a picture.” he grinned, I rolled my eyes.

“You saw me before I left J, I haven’t changed any.” I laughed.

“Maybe it’s seeing you hard at work that has me going gorgeous.” he chuckled, kissing my cheek. He lived to see me blush, he thought it was adorable.

“You’re so dumb.” I giggled, trying to escape his hold so I could go back to work. He tightened his hold, his eyes full of mischief.

“What’s your hurry babe?” he asked, mock confusion tinting his features. His hands started to roam, from my waist, down to my love handles, and further to my ass.

“JJ stop, I’m at work!” I whisper yelled.

“What? I’m not doing anything.” he said, his hands still roaming.

“Quit!” I laughed, grabbing his hands in mine.

“When are you leaving? I have plans for us.” he smiled, wriggling his brows at me.

“As soon as Kie’s dad says so, what are we doing?” I grinned, excitement coursing through me.

“It’s a surprise.” he whispered, lips ghosting over mine.

“You know I don’t like surprises,” I sighed, my eyes flicking from his eyes to his lips that were brushing against mine.

“I know babygirl, but I really think you’ll like this one.” he smirked.

“I need to go back to work before Kie comes and yells at us.” I chuckled, giving him a quick kiss before breaking from his hold.

“My hard working woman, makin’ me horny just by wiping down some tables.” he winked.

I slapped him with my rag, shooing him away so I could get out of here faster. I was a little way from the bar, turning my back to my friends. I was hoping they would talk about whatever this surprise JJ has for me. I was dying to know so I could mentally prepare myself. Surprises gave me extremely bad anxiety, but not as bad if it’s JJ.

“Can you not harass y/n while she’s working? I’d like to go home today.” Kie sighed, smiling at how sweet JJ was to me.

“You’re just mad I get to take her sexy ass home, and you get stuck with this” JJ said, pointing to Pope. I chuckled, shaking my head at his antics.

“Hey!” Pope exclaimed.

“Sarah and I got everything set up, text me right before you get there so we can bring out the food.” John B. tried, and failed, to whisper to JJ.

“Guys, what if she doesn’t like it?” JJ asked, I could picture a worried look on his face.

“She will love it, I know y/n.” Kie said, I’m sure she was rolling her eyes at the blonde.

==============================

I practically sprinted to the back as soon as Kie’s dad gave us the ok to head out for the night. I was excited to spend some alone time with JJ. Both of us basically lived with John B, so we were never really alone. We really had never gone on a date either, we were always with the other Pogues getting into something. Of course I loved them, but it would be nice for one night to just be JJ and I.

As soon as I walked to the front where JJ was waiting for me, he grabbed me up in his arms. We were both smiling like idiots, basking in our love. He leaned down and planted a sweet, tender kiss on my lips. I smiled into the kiss, making it hard for him to actually kiss me.

“Baby, stop I’m trying to get my kiss I was denied earlier.” he laughed, his lids heavy as he pulled back to look at me.

“I can’t help it!” I giggled, grabbing his face to kiss him properly.

“Are you ready for the best surprise of your life?” he winked, pulling me out to the van.

“Ready as I’ll ever be.” I grinned, thanking him as he opened my door for me. JJ jumped in the driver seat, throwing on his aviators

“I love you,” he said, gripping my hand.

“I love you J,” I whispered, smiling softly at him.

==================================

I was very confused when we arrived at The Boneyard, not expecting the surprise to be here....

“Why are we at the beach?” I asked.

“You’ll see, patience baby.” he said, tipping his sunglasses down to wink.

“You irritate me,” I huffed, crossing my arms in front of my chest.

“I promise you’ll love it.” he said, leaning over to kiss me quickly.

JJ grabbed some stuff out of the back, opening my door when he was finished. He grabbed my hand once I jumped out of the van, taking us down the little walk way. I gasped, not believing the sight in front of me. A table was set up with a white table cloth, candles, and a vase of roses. Next to the table, a bed sheet was laid out with lots of pillows and blankets. On closer inspection, the plates on the table had my favorite meal along with a bottle of my favorite wine.

“JJ,” I whispered, tears gathering in my eyes.

“Do you like it?” he asked, scratching the back of his head.

“I love it, I love you.” I laughed, hugging him tight to me. I kissed him hard, hoping to show my appreciation for him.

“Let’s eat before the food gets cold.” he grinned, kissing my nose.

========================================

We talked, all evening long. Reminiscing on our most embarrassing moments of childhood, sometimes laughing so hard one of us almost choked. The best part of our relationship was the both of us having the same sense of humor, never a dull moment between us. I loved this boy so much, sometimes thinking about it made me want to cry. He was so kind, generous, and funny. He cared so deeply for me it left me stunned sometimes. I had known this boy my whole life, and he still was full of surprises. Kie and John B love to tease that they had never seen JJ look at a girl the way he looks at me.

“Want to go swimming?” he winked. Another great thing about JJ is that I didn’t have to worry about being embarrassed to be in a bathing suit, I mostly had to worry about him trying to tear it off of me.

“Where am I supposed to change? I didn’t even bring a bathing suit.” I chuckled.

“What if I didn’t want us to change?” he asked, his eyes clouding with an emotion I had never seen before.

“JJ, I’m not swimming in my clothes.” I scoffed, rolling my eyes.

“Didn’t say we were wearing our clothes baby.” he said, eyeing me up and down.

“So you want-you...you want to go skinny dipping?” I asked, my face turning red.

“Mhm,” he nodded, his tongue poking out to lick his lips.

“I-I...I don’t know J.” I stammered. I had never been naked in front of JJ before, we hadn’t sealed the deal yet. I was nervous to say the least. He got up from his chair, coming to squat in front of me.

“If you don’t want to we don’t have to baby, it’s just something I’ve always wanted to do....with you.” he said, staring deep into my eyes.

I really wanted to, but I was hesitant. I had never shared anything intimate with anyone before, and I would be lying if I said it didn’t absolutely terrify me. But this was JJ, and I knew he loved me with all my flaws. I knew I could trust him with my insecurities.

“I just...I’m a little nervous. I-I’ve never been ya know, in the nude in front of anyone before.” I mumbled, not able to meet his gaze.

“You are the most beautiful girl in the world y/n, you know you don’t have to hide from me. I love you...how about, if it makes you more comfortable, I’ll go out first with my back turned, and you can meet me in the water.” he said, his eyes shining with hope.

“Ok,” I whispered, my cheeks flushing as he kissed me.

He stripped, winking at me before running out to the water. I sat stunned, my eyes wide as saucers. The boy had to be sculpted by God himself, there was not a single flaw on his body. I got up from my chair, slowly removing my clothing. The wind was a tad chilly, so I wrapped a towel around me.

I walked out to the ocean, my nerves starting to skyrocket. My heart was thumping so hard in my chest, I was afraid it would jump out any second. I removed my towel just as the dry sand met the wet, letting my hair down as well. I was thankful the waves were calm, making it easier for me to reach JJ. I ducked down in the water, swimming closer to him. I grabbed his bicep, and he turned to face me. He got down in the water with me, pulling me closer to him. I leaned my forehead on his, nuzzling his nose.His ringed hands found my thighs, pulling my legs around his waist. I wrapped my arms around his shoulders, his strong arms caged me to him.

“Not so bad is it?” he grinned, tipping his nose to mine.

“I guess not,” I chuckled, leaning back to look at the sky. “It’s so pretty, look at the stars.” I said in awe.

“I don’t need to look, I have you in front of me.” he said, and I couldn’t help but laugh at his cheesy line.

“That was cheesy even for you” I laughed, my stomach hurting from how hard I laughed.

“Well I thought it was romantic.” he huffed, pouting his lips.

I pulled myself away from him, a mischievous look in my eyes. His eyes narrowed, knowing I was up to something. I jumped, dunking him underwater. I giggled at my childish ways, squealing moments later when JJ yanked me with him. We both resurfaced, his hand came to push his hair out of his face. He stood to his full height, stalking up to me. I backed away, the look in his eye was as if he were an animal, and I was his prey. I was so turned on I started feeling pulsations all over my body. My breathing became short, my eyes wide with anticipation.

He snatched a hold of my wrist, I gasped as he yanked to to him. Our chests were touching, my hard nipples brushing his abdomen. I stared into his eyes that had grown darker with lust. My other hand brushed against his thigh, I got a burst of confidence and started to trail my hand up his thigh. Our faces were so close together I could feel his breath on my lips. I came in contact with his hard member, JJ groaned deep in his throat.

I tested the waters, sliding my hand up and down to see what made him make that sound again. I slid my thumb over his tip, causing a shudder to run through JJ. He was starting to pant the faster I moved my hand, his whole body becoming more twitchy. His rings were digging into my skin, his grip on my waist insanely tight, but I didn’t mind. I was so overwhelmed with pleasure from watching JJ get off from just my hand took over my senses.

“Baby, please...you’re torturing me.” he moaned, thrusting his hips into my hand.

I hummed, leaning my cheek against his. I kissed down his neck, moving my hand slightly faster. His panting breaths were hitting my neck, he leaned down and bit my shoulder. I moaned loudly in his ear, the pain mixed with the pleasure had me rubbing my thighs to seek some kind of friction. He sucked on my skin, leaving his mark behind. I jerked my hand faster, stopping to rub my thumb over his slit. He cursed into my shoulder, biting down harder on it.

“Fuck, shit...I-I’m gonna cum baby.” JJ groaned.

He only lasted a few more seconds before he was yelling curses, his member twitched in my hand. I was in awe of this man in front of me, the pure beauty of his face in absolute pleasure was astonishing. Once he came down, he smashed his lips to mine. I moaned in his mouth, tongues and teeth fighting in a passionate battle.

JJ started to pull me towards shore, my heart clenched. He would see me fully naked before him, but I was so turned on I didn’t pay any mind to it. I had come to the realization that no matter what I thought about myself, JJ would love me no matter what I looked like. He loved me for the person I was, and he loved every inch of me. I wasn’t scared anymore, I wanted to be with him, and I wanted him to see me at my most vulnerable state.

“I love you,” he whispered, pulling me to the sheet that was laid out with pillows and blankets.

We both laid down, JJ coming over me. I stared at how his arm muscles bulged as he held himself up, the veins in his arms coming to the surface. His shark tooth necklace dangled from his neck, I grabbed a hold of it and pulled him to me. Our lips met for a breif second before JJ pulled away, smirking at me. I grinned as his lips moved down my neck, stopping to make little love bites along the way.

“Our friends are going to make fun of me if you don’t stop marking me J,” I laughed.

“They’ll just know we had a good time princess, I think it’s a good look on you.” he smirked into my skin.

He moved lower, my giggle turning into a moan as he took my nipple into his mouth. He nibbled lightly on it, sending tingles all the way down to my lower regions. His other hand came to play with my other nipple, his cold rings making me shiver. My hips shifted under him, the need to feel him in my most private area becoming almost too much. JJ finally began to move, kissing the valley between my breasts and lower. He kissed all around my stomach, knowing it was one of the areas on my body I was most insecure about.

“I love you here, and here, and here.” he kissed my stomach, my waist, and my hips. Eventually kissing all over my body, a huge smile played on my features. My cheeks began to hurt from how big my smile was. My heart soared with love for this boy in front of me.

“I love you J,” I whispered, waving my hand through his drying blonde locks.

JJ got down between my legs, propping himself on his elbows. My breath hitched in my throat as I felt his breath near my heat. I choked on a moan as he took a long lick all the way up my heat, my hips bucked into his face. His strong arms came around to hold my hips down as he licked and sucked all over my heat. My hand got tighter in his hair, yanking him closer to me. He shook his head to get as deep as possible, a long moan forcing itself from my throat. He dipped his fingers all over my wetness and his saliva before entering a finger inside me. It was a little uncomfortable at first, but I relaxed myself. When I got used to the feeling, JJ entered another finger, and bean scissoring them inside me. He sucked on my clit as his fingers began to move faster, curling inside of me. His fingers hit that special spot inside me, stars forming in my vision.

“JJ, baby, please!” I begged, squirming underneath his hold.

“Don’t interrupt me while I’m eating babygirl or you won’t get your treat.” he smirked, I groaned and threw my head back against the pillow.

He moved his fingers faster, pounding them inside of me at this point. His head shaking to get his tongue as far as it could go, alternating to sucking my clit. I could feel the knot in my stomach ready to snap, the obscene noises from JJ’s fingers inside me was like music to my ears.

I let go, screaming JJ’s name over and over again. My hips tried to move off the sheet, but JJ threw his arm across me to hold me down. Sucking and licking until I started to twitch. He sat up, a proud smile on his face. I could see his chin glistening with a mix of me and his saliva, he brought his fingers to his mouth to suck them clean. It was the sexiest thing I had ever seen him do, I looked down and saw that he had become hard again. The need to feel him inside of me taking over.

“I want you inside of me JJ,” I whispered, the sultriness of my voice surprising me.

“Are you sure?” he asked, leaning down to kiss my cheeks.

“Yes,,I want you.” I said, sliding my hands down his sides.

“You tell me if you want me to stop ok? Do I need a condom?” he asked, raising a brow at me.

“Yes, and no. I’m covered.” I said, pulling his mouth to mine.

He poked his member where the wetness seeping out of me was, slicking it up before slowly entering inside me. I could feel the sting, my nails dug into his biceps. He stopped for a moment watching my face. I relaxed myself, giving JJ a nod to continue. He slid all the way in, stopping to let me get used to being full of him. We were both panting at this point, JJ’s pupils were blown wide with pleasure.

After a few moments, JJ started thrusting slowly. The uncomfortable feeling started to fizzle away and I began to feel nothing but pure ecstasy. I gasped when JJ started moving faster. His eyes were glued to where we were becoming one, his breathing becoming short. I grabbed a hold of his hair, yanking his lips to mine. Our tongues moved in sync as we both moaned into each other’s mouths. JJ tilted our hips, the new angle causing him to hit somewhere inside me that made me yelp. I threw my head back, moaning his name as a feeling of pure bliss sky rocketed through me. I could imagine him smirking at me, loving the way he made me say his name. He was pounding into me at this point, an animalistic growl leaving his throat as he chased his high. He brought one hand down to my clit, adding to the exceeding pleasure.

“Are you there baby?” he asked, his breath hitting my lips.

“Yes, fuck.” I squeaked as he hit that spot again.

He started to move faster, the sloshing sounds becoming more obscene from where we were one. His thumb on my clit moved impossibly swift, my legs starting to shake as I was almost to my peak. Both of us let go at the same time, JJ’s head fell to my neck, moaning loudly in my ear. I screamed his name, my legs twitching and shaking as I clenched on his member. My nails scratched hard down his back, a hiss coming from JJ as I’m sure I left welts behind. We both came down from our highs, JJ leaned to plant a soft kiss on my lips. He reached over to get a towel to clean ourselves off, pulling a blanket over us.

“You’re amazing, I’ve never came so hard in my life.” he sighed, flopping down on the sheet.

“You’re lying” I scoffed, rolling my eyes at him.

“No I’m serious, I felt like I was having an out of body experience. Rest up my love because we’re doing that again.” he smirked, his hand traveling down to squeeze my ass.

“Are you sure you’ll be able to go again, I think I might have wore you out J.” I giggled, tracing my fingers over his abs.

“Is that a challenge?” he asked, quirking a brow at me.

“Maybe..” I mumbled, biting my bottom lip as I stared into his eyes.

He rolled on top of me, his tongue poking out to lick his lips. He leaned down close to me, our lips just brushing together. I breathed out shakily, my eyes wide with anticipation.

“I love you baby, thank you for giving me you.” he said sweetly, his eyes holding so much love I could have cried.

“You’re the man of my dreams J, there’s no one else I would rather have shared this with.” I grinned.

“And I’ll be the last, that I’m sure of.” he smirked, earning an eye roll from me.

“You’re so full of yourself,” I giggled.

“I plan on keeping you for a long time, so buckle in princess.” he smiled wide, leaning down to kiss me before I could let out my witty reply.

“Love you,” he said against my lips.

“I love you,” I whispered, caressing his cheeks.

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ultimatetrashyfanfic · 3 years

Text

Wooow, first time writing a fic for this fandom. I’m stupidly nervous. Also I only just finished SDR2 so I’m just gonna make this a Non-Despair AU in case there’s any big events in the next canon games I don’t know about yet. Plus i want everybody to be alive and well (chapter four hurt). This is also the first time in years I’ve written any fanfiction, so forgive me if I’m rusty. I do love this pairing. Can be taken romantically or platonic in this one (as this isn’t my only ship for Hajime so I tried to keep it ambiguous). - Circle

Also posted to AO3 at https://archiveofourown.org/works/33332596

Warning: sickfic, descriptions of vomiting (I don’t go into much detail), nightmares/general anxiety.

Kazuichi was the only person Hajime knew with a worse sleep schedule than his own. For months he hadn’t realised - everybody had their own space on the island and Hajime was occupied enough with his own fatigue - but as Fuyuhiko saw how much Kazuichi grew to trust and confide in Hajime, he reported the issue.

“He’s like a fucking baby,” Fuyuhiko muttered bitterly. “If he gets tinkering on something he’ll be at it for days without sleeping. You gotta make sure he doesn’t overdo it. I can’t babysit that dumbass by myself.”

Hajime nodded, letting the insults sail over his head. Fuyuhiko may swear and yell and tell everyone over and over that Kazuichi and Hajime and Akane were the bane of his existence, but he was really the closest thing their group had to a mum friend.

“I’ll keep an eye out,” Hajime promised. It was an easy enough job. At least it gave him something to do. Whenever Hajime found himself unable to sleep now, he’d go hunting for Kazuichi. More often than not he’d be at the airport, dismantling or building things as the mood struck him, and all Hajime had to do was hook his collar and ignore the whining as he dragged his friend away to bed.

But that night was different. Hajime could sense it the second he walked into the airport. Since the other students rarely went in there, Kazuichi had taken over the space, scattering bits of parts and machines in various stages of completion. But he wasn’t hunched over with a fiddly screwdriver or hidden underneath some big contraption with only his legs visible. He was sitting against a large machine, resting his head against the cool metal, his thumb rubbing at the motor oil embedded under his bitten fingernails.

That was concerning. Kazuichi was never still. He was forever biting his fingernails or twirling his wrench idly in his hands or messing with the pockets on his jumpsuit, dragging the zips up and down over and over. It used to drive Hajime mad, but after knowing Kazuichi for so long Hajime could recognise it as a nervous response and he knew not to complain about it.

Because kazuichi was fragile. Not physically - he could easily haul heavy engine parts around and didn’t buckle when Akane jumped on his back - but it was pretty easy to upset him. When Fuyuhiko had started mocking Kazuichi over his obsession with Sonia - “you gotta bully the shitty behaviours out of people, Hajime.” - it had led to Kazuichi knocking at Hajime’s cottage in the middle of the night, tearfully asking him why Fuyuhiko hated him.

Sometimes Hajime really wished they had an Ultimate Therapist on the island.

So now, looking across the abandoned airport to Kazuichi behaving in a very not-Kazuichi way, Hajime proceeded with caution. He made sure to step purposefully, his footsteps loud on the linoleum floor; he’d once surprised Kazuichi from behind and almost received a wrench to his temple… as well as a burst eardrum from the screaming.

Kazuichi looked up, hastily fumbling with his glasses and shoving them into his pocket. He hated anyone seeing him wear them, so Hajime knew not to comment.

Usually Kazuichi’s face brightened when he saw any of his friends, but now his smile was wary, reserved. “Hey, Hajime,” he said, his voice thick with fatigue.

“When was the last time you slept?” Hajime asked bluntly. “Or ate?”

Kazuichi turned back to face the hunk of metal beside him (unidentifiable to Hajime), though he still didn’t start tinkering. “Not hungry.”

“That doesn’t answer my question at all.”

“I slept yesterday. I think… It’s Monday, right?”

Hajime sighed heavily and hooked the collar of Kazuichi’s jumpsuit with his fingers. “Come on, get up. Bedtime. You’re not even doing anything.”

“Mmn. Can’t seem to focus tonight.”

“That’s because you’re exhausted. Go to bed.”

“Okay! Jeez, man, you’re acting like my mother,” Kazuichi whined, sounding more like himself.

The pair walked out into the cool night air together, Hajime taking hold of Kazuichi’s sleeve when he stumbled. Just how long had he been awake? He was acting like a zombie.

“Fuyuhiko said you weren’t sleeping,” Hajime grumbled. “You should take better care of yourself.”

“Fuyuhiko said it? So why did he make you come get me? Are you sure he doesn’t hate me?” Souda pressed.

“Yes, I’m sure. I told you, he was only harsh because he wanted you to leave poor Sonia alone.”

“Well. I have been, haven’t I?” he muttered.

Hajime assumed that was meant to be a rhetorical question, but it came out like Kazuichi was looking for reassurance. It hadn’t occurred to him how often Souda seemed to do that, as if he was worried anything he said would elicit a bad reaction.

“I’ve even been nice to Gundham,” Kazuichi said, much more irritably. “Though that’s a damn uphill battle, Hajime, I’m telling you. I don’t know what the hell he’s talking about half the time.”

Hajime snorted. Watching Souda trying to interact with Gundham was becoming a running joke between the other students now. There was always a five second pause when Gundham finished talking before Kazuichi could reply, his face contorted as he hastily tried to translate.

“You’ll get used to Gundham. I didn’t understand him much at first either.” Hajime frowned as Kazuichi wrapped his arms around himself, shivering. “Are you cold?”

“I’m freezing. Maybe I do need to sleep better. I’m not feeling so good…” He stumbled again as they went across the uneven boardwalk to the cabins, bumping Hajime’s shoulder.

Hajime caught hold of him instinctively - then paused for a second. He quickly cupped both hands over Kazuichi’s cheeks.

“H-Hajime?!” Souda reeled back so fast he almost toppled right off the platform. “What the hell are you doing?”

“You have a fever, Kazuichi,” Hajime groaned. “You’re burning up. That’s why you don’t feel good.”

“I do?” Souda cupped his own cheeks contemplatively. “Huh. That makes sense. I couldn’t focus properly all evening.”

Hajime sighed heavily. Souda could be so oblivious at times it was hard to believe he was so talented with his machines. He seemed so much more confident when he spoke about that stuff. When he’d started getting closer to Kazuichi, Hajime once asked about some little mechanical toy Souda was making - and Souda’s face had just lit up. He talked Hajime’s ear off for a good fifteen minutes about every little piece of the toy and how it worked. Hajime didn’t understand the majority of it, but he always made sure to ask Kazuichi about his various projects after that. Souda was delighted every time, his words tripping over each other with excitement and his eyes shining like beacons. For a second Hajime wondered if that was how it felt to be Sonia.

“Well, you’d better come with me for now,” Hajime said. “I know you don’t have any first aid supplies in your cabin, and we don’t need Mikan to tell us you have some standard virus. I’ve got painkillers and fever reducers.” Hajime held onto Kazuichi by the elbow, guiding him along to the correct cabin. He seemed beyond argument. He flopped onto Hajime’s bed as soon as they went inside, curling onto his side and closing his eyes.

Hajime hovered over him, feeling a pang of anxiety. He wasn’t used to caring for any sick people except Nagito, and caring for Nagito was a wholly bizarre experience all around. Hajime had never seen anybody swing so wildly between self-deprecating, passive aggressive and strangely clingy when he was forced to babysit a sick Nagito. Hajime figured Kazuichi might fall into the clingy category.

Hajime grabbed fever reducers from the bathroom cabinet and went to crouch beside his bed, shaking Kazuichi’s shoulder. Maybe it was the fever or the several days without sleep, but Kazuichi already seemed to be breathing deeper. There was a red flush across both his cheekbones, garishly bright against his pink hair. Hajime checked his forehead again; it was burning.

“Hey, dude, wake up. You’ve gotta take some medicine and go back to your own cabin,” Hajime said, shaking Kazuichi’s shoulder harder. Kazuichi whined irritably, reaching out a clumsy hand without opening his eyes. He managed to find Hajime’s face and tried to shove him away weakly.

“Kazuichi!” Hajime caught hold of his wrist, sighing. “You have motor oil on your hands. Look, I don’t care if you don’t want to take medicine, but go sleep in your own cabin. This happens to be my bed.”

Kazuichi didn’t move, breathing deeply. Hajime wasn’t sure if he was actually sleeping or just ignoring him.

“I kissed Sonia,” Hajime lied.

No response. Hm. Maybe Kazuichi really was asleep.

Well, what was Hajime meant to do now? He didn’t feel mean enough to boot his sick friend off the bed. He supposed he could go stay in Souda’s room, but he didn’t know where his key was, and he didn’t want to go rifling through Kazuichi’s pockets for it while he was sleeping - and maybe Souda needed somebody with him in case his fever got worse. Fevers could turn nasty, right? Not that Hajime would be any use, but he could go get Mikan.

Sighing resignedly, Hajime went to the unoccupied side of his bed, lying back to back with Kazuichi. Most of the bedsheets were trapped under his sick companion no matter now Hajime yanked them, but Souda was so hot Hajime was soon uncomfortably warm. The sleeping boy was taking up a lot of the bed too; he had Kazuichi’s hair in his face and elbows jabbing his ribs no matter what sleeping position Hajime tried. He sighed again. “You’re an utter pain to deal with, Kazuichi,” he mumbled into his pillow. “You need to take care of yourself before you get really sick.”

Hajime, though sure he’d never be able to even doze in this situation, must have slept at some point, because he woke with a start to find the bed shaking so violently he almost toppled off it. In his drowsy state Hajime wondered for a second if the island had any seismic activity, but the earthquake seemed confined to the bed alone. He sat up and fumbled to turn on the bedside lamp, rubbed the sleep from his eyes and turned to his sleeping friend.

Kazuichi was shaking violently, curled into a foetal position. His face had bleached several shades whiter and his fists were clenched tight, crumpling the bedsheets. His brow was furrowed and he made intermittent whines in the back of his throat, barely audible. Whatever dream was playing in his feverish head, it clearly wasn’t a pleasant one.

“Kazuichi,” Hajime called, shaking the sleeping man’s shoulder. Hajime could feel the heat radiating through Kazuichi’s clothes. “Come on, man, wake up.”

When he received no response, he shook harder, momentarily panicked. It was a mistake. Kazuichi jolted awake with a scream, the momentum sending him tumbling right off the bed onto the floor. He banged his head hard on the skirting board.

“Shit! Fuck, Souda, are you okay?” Hajime cried, hurrying over to Kazuichi. Souda scrambled backwards in a panic, clonking his head all over again when he hit the wall. His eyes hadn’t focused yet and he was breathing far too quickly. Hajime was starting to think he really should fetch Mikan.

“Kazuichi, it’s just me. Hajime. You know, your…” He paused, cringing. Only Kazuichi ever called them by that dumb name. “Your soul friend.”

Kazuichi looked up, locking eyes with Hajime. He didn’t stop shaking, but his breathing calmed slightly. For what felt like several minutes, both boys stared helplessly at each, unsure what to do or say. Souda swallowed thickly and finally whispered in a hoarse, rasping voice, “I’m gonna puke.”

“What?” That certainly broke Hajime out of the awkward staring contest. He grabbed hold of Souda by the wrist and yanked him across the bedroom to the bathroom, shoving him firmly towards the toilet. He turned to leave - he didn’t want to witness any of that - when something snagged onto the back of his shirt.

“Are you serious?” Hajime groaned. Souda felt too nauseated to dare opening his mouth, but he tugged insistently at Hajime’s shirt.

Hajime paused. Part of him - maybe even most of him - really wanted to brush Kazuichi’s hand away and flee the room before anything gross started happening. But Souda looked so… pathetic, sitting there trying not to vomit, still shaky and tearful from the nightmare, his hair tangled across his sweaty face.

Damn it. Hajime shouldn’t have looked at him.

“Fine, fine,” he sighed, kneeling beside Souda on the bathroom floor. He hastily gathered Kazuichi’s messy hair away from his face as the sick boy leaned further over the toilet. “You owe me big time for this. Especially when I end up catching this from you.”

Grumbling aside, Hajime stayed, managing not to complain or pull too many faces when Kazuichi was vomiting. He focused on holding Souda’s hair out of the way, glad he had one job he could manage. This comforting thing was way out of his depth. Souda kept one hand reaching backwards to clasp Hajime’s shirt, as if he didn’t quite trust him not to run away.

When the retching finally tapered off, Hajime released Souda’s hair and reached up to flush the toilet, grimacing. “Better?”

Kazuichi made a noise between a whine and a sob, head resting on the toilet seat.

“Well, at least it’s over. I’m gonna go grab you some water, okay?”

He stood up, but Kazuichi hastily lifted his head, looking outraged. “You’re leaving me? I could be dying here!”

“You’re not dying, Souda. Honestly, sometimes I think you should’ve been Ultimate Drama Queen.”

“Stay with me.” Kazuichi shuffled away from the toilet and latched onto Hajime leg.

“Souda, it will take me literally thirty seconds to grab a bottle of water. Now get off.” Hajime tried to yank his leg free, but Souda had a strong grip, even when ill.

“Nope. Don’t leave.”

Hajime sighed heavily. “Then get up and come back to the bed.”

Souda slumped down onto the cool linoleum floor, making sure to keep his arms around Hajime’s ankle. “Don’t wanna move. Everything hurts.”

“Oh, for fuck sake!” Hajime tried to pull Souda up himself, but Souda let his body go limp, sprawling across the bathroom floor, and Hajime couldn’t lift him up when he was dead weight like that.

“You know that’s exactly what toddlers do when they don’t want you picking them up,” Hajime snapped. Honestly, this was almost as bad as Nagito. Why did everybody mess with him when they were sick?

“I can see why. It’s very effective,” Kazuichi muttered.

“I could just leave, you know. Just say fuck it and let you lie there on your own.”

“Don’t.” The jesting tone had disappeared from Souda’s voice. He looked close to tears again, flat on his back and staring up at Hajime pleadingly.

Hajime tried to hold onto his frustration, but he couldn’t. Not with Kazuichi looking at him like that. He sighed and sat on the floor beside Souda, putting a hand on his forehead. “You’re burning up.”

“Keep your hand there,” Kazuichi mumbled. “It’s cold.”

“Fine. But if you let me leave I could get you a cold cloth for your head.”

“Noooo…”

“Okay, okay.” Hajime paused. Souda’s eyelids were drooping again. If he wanted to ask, Hajime had to do it quickly. “Hey, Kazuichi..?”

“Mn?”

“What happened? Earlier, I mean.”

“I puked.”

“No, you dope. Earlier than that. When you woke up. You seemed really terrified. Were you dreaming?” Hajime was already regretting asking. Kazuichi was sick and over-emotional. They were sitting on the bathroom floor, for God’s sake. Nothing good could come of emotional conversations on a bathroom floor.

There was another silence, so long Hajime checked to see if Kazuichi had dozed off. His eyes were wide open now, staring at the ceiling. “It was just a dream. That’s all.”

“Do you remember what it was about?”

“It doesn’t matter,” Kazuichi mumbled.

Hajime sighed. “Look, it’s fine if you don’t want to talk about it. But it clearly freaked you out really bad. If there’s something you’re worried about or something that’s scaring you, I can-“ Hajime stopped as Kazuichi sat up abruptly. He kept his face turned to the wall, but Hajime heard the sniffles, saw his shoulders start shaking.

“Fuck,” Hajime muttered helplessly. “Kazuichi, I’m sorry. I’ll just be quiet. You don’t have to tell me anything. I’m messing this all up, I’m such a fucking idiot sometimes.”

“I’m a fucking idiot,” Kazuichi sobbed. “So stupid I still dream about him! Why can’t he just go away!” He went on talking, but he was howling too hard for Hajime to understand. He’d seen Souda cry countless times before, but this was different somehow. This wasn’t just wailing because some girl he liked had turned him down. This was raw, painful terror.

“Hey hey, calm down! You’re gonna make yourself sick again,” Hajime said, trying hard to keep the panic out of his own voice. He took hold of Kazuichi’s wrists, pulling him gently away from the wall. He’d meant to lay Souda down in the same position as before, but Souda instantly fell against Hajime’s chest, practically knocking him over.

“Right. Um. You’re okay. You’re safe here,” Hajime mumbled, patting his sobbing friend awkwardly. He wasn’t used to embracing people. It felt strange and unnatural but not unpleasant - and Souda clearly needed a hug more than anything else right now. “Souda, breathe. It’s okay. You’re safe. The fever is probably making it worse. I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have asked about the nightmare.”

“Home,” Kazuichi gasped.

“Huh?”

“I was dreaming about being back at home.”

Oh God. Where was that Ultimate Therapist again? Hajime didn’t know how to handle this. He couldn’t sort his own problems, let alone anyone else’s. “Oooh. Okay. Shit. Your dad..? You mentioned him once before.”

“Don’t. Don’t talk about it.”

“Okay. Sorry. So your dream was a memory? When he… hurt you?” Hajime guessed.

The sobbing, which had been gradually calming, quickly returned to near-hyperventilating.

“Sorry, sorry. Breathe, okay?” Hajime’s own heart was thumping hard. This was way more than he could handle. “Look… You’re away from there. He’s literally across an ocean. It’s just me and you here. Because you usurped my bed tonight.”

Kazuichi gave a snort that could’ve been a laugh. “It’s not… not usually this bad,” he said, his voice still jerky with sobs. “I-I can handle it on my own. The nightmares.”

“Fevers make nightmares worse. I think. I’d have to check with Mikan,” Hajime said. “But at least you were here this time.” He was surprised to find he really meant that. He couldn’t bear to think of Souda dealing with all that on his own.

They sat in silence for a long time, until Souda’s sobs died down to sniffles, his head still resting on Hajime’s chest. The front of Hajime’s shirt was now damp with tears and snot, and Souda’s feverish body was like a furnace, but he didn’t suggest they move. After a long time he found he’d wound his arms around Kazuichi’s shoulders.

“Are you still awake?” Hajime whispered eventually.

“Mn. Barely…”

“Listen, this is important. If you have dreams like that any other night, you can come over here. If you want. Just knock hard so I wake up.”

Kazuichi shifted in his arms to look at Hajime’s face. “You don’t have to do that. Don’t feel like you’re stuck with me.”

“Maybe I don’t mind being stuck with you,” Hajime retorted.

A ghost of a smile flickered across Kazuichi’s face, though he was still red and tear-stained. “Then you’re fucking crazy.”

“It’s not crazy to want to be your friend, Souda. So will you ask me for help next time you dream something like that? Please?”

Kazuichi wound his arms around Hajime’s middle and squeezed so hard it made Hajime gasp. “Okay. I’ll come get you.” He paused. “Thanks, Hajime.”

Kazuichi fell asleep soon after, still pinning Hajime to the bathroom floor with his weight. And though Hajime would moan about how sore and stiff he was the next morning, he was still glad Souda came to him for help. Just about.

#danganronpa 2 #danganronpa #my writing #kazuichi soda #hajime hinata #dr emeto #emeto tw #emeto #dr sickfic #sickfic #fever #writing #our writing #mod circle

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theroguequeenaniki · 3 years

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Questions 2009 -> 2021

This is from my Facebook. It popped up on my memories page thing. I originally answered this in 2009 when I was 15, it’s now 2021 & and I am 27, so I’m gonna do it again. Leaving the original answers. Original answers will be italicized. Commentary on the original answers in parentheses & crossed out? Lol. (I’m not gonna tag anyone, but, like, I guess if you want to answer these random questions from Facebook 12 years ago, go ahead lol)

Questions

Can you fill this out without lying? You've been tagged, so now you need to answer all the questions HONESTLY. At the end, choose people to tag. Don't forget to tag me so I can see your answers! To do this, copy this entire message, then go to “notes” under tabs on your profile page, paste these instructions in the body of the note, delete my answers, and type yours. Easy! Next, tag people that you think may enjoy this (in the right hand corner of the app). Click publish (at the bottom). Have fun! :) 1.What was the last thing you put in your mouth? My cup with my Big Red in it The straw to my Kate Spade tumbler to drink my HEB Cola Lol.

2.Where was your profile picture taken? I got it off the internet. it's a random anime girl. My bedroom. 3.Can you play Guitar Hero? Never played it. Probably wouldn't be good at it. Not to good at video games. But I am good at Mario Cart, both 64 and the Wii. plus I'm good at some Sonic games. Still never played it. Idk if I’m any good at Mario Cart or the Sonic games anymore, I haven’t played either in years lol

4.Name someone who made you laugh today? Doctor Who TikTok. My cats.

5.How late did you stay up last night and why? Umm, probably about 10:00 cause it took me forevor to get into bed. Uh..Past 4am. Lol. B/c my sleep schedule is fucked. I was in bed by 3am though, but I was playing games & watching TikToks on my phone. Lol.

6.If you could move somewhere else, would you? Yes. I'd move to either New York or Sweden. I don’t know. Part of me says yes. But part of me says no..b/c even though Texas has it’s faults (a LOT of them), I cannot imagine living anywhere else long-term..

7. Ever been kissed under fireworks? HAHA. Yeah right. I've never even been kissed! Still nope. I have been kissed though. He just didn’t kiss me under the fireworks the one NYE we spent together...

8. Which of your friends lives closest to you? Um, I think R, but D might also. D is accross Stasney from me and R is a couple blocks down (I don’t talk to these people much anymore & I’m not going to share their names on Tumblr) Uh. I think Maybe Raven? B/c they’re the only one who lives in the same city still. But, Sarah might technically be closer distance wise? Hold on. Ok, yeah, Sarah’s closer, even though she doesn’t live in this city anymore.

9. Do you believe exes can be friends? It all depends on the situation.(I totally stold M's answer but it's true) (I don’t talk to this person anymore & I’m not gonna share their name on Tumblr) I mean, yeah. Two of my best friends are each others exes and they’re still friends. I haven’t stayed friend with my ex, but, uh, he ghosted me so? Lol.

10. How do you feel about Dr. Pepper? I love it. I still love it. Lol.

11. When was the last time you cried really hard? I can't remember. I don't think it was that long ago, I had a light cry on Saturday, but I don't remember the last time I cried really hard. When we got back from our trip in July. Had a full on breakdown that night. Overheated all weekend. Overwhelmed. Anxiety. It was not a very good vacation..I cry a lot though.

12. Who took your profile picture? I got it off of google. I did.

13. Who was the last person you took a picture of? Umm, either myself, or one of my family members. Aside from myself. I think my dad, on his phone, b/c there was a cicada on his shoulder and he wanted to ask the family group chat if he could keep it. Lol. I take a LOT of pictures of cats though. Lol.

14. Was yesterday better than today? Hail yes! To much drama today! And I couldn't avoid it cause I was in the middle of it! (Oof, what drama was 15 yo Linda dealing with that she couldn’t avoid? Lol. I mean, I guess, Sophomore year was a bit full of drama lol) Anyway, I mean, they were pretty much the same. One wasn’t better than the other. One wasn’t worse than the other.

15. Can you live a day without TV? yeah. Now Music there is something I can't live without! Yep, Do it almost everyday. Sentiments about music remain the same. Lol.

16. Are you upset about anything? Yes. I'm annoyed about something and it's making me upset. (I assume this has something to do with the the drama mentioned earlier lol) Always. Anxiety & depression are a bitch. My rooms a mess & I can’t get myself to clean it. My shelves are still a mess.

17. Do you think relationships are ever really worth it? yeah. though i havent really had one yet. I mean, yeah. Even though I haven’t had one last, aside from friendships, but they’re worth it.

18. Are you a bad influence? I hope not. If so, let me know.(again I took M's answer but it's true) Probably. Idk. Lol.

19. Night out or night in? Depends on what's going on and how I feel about it. Night in usually. I do like going out sometimes, but, like, to dinner. Maybe a movie or a show. But, you know, we’ve been in a panini press, the only thing I’ve been comfortable doing is going to dinner (fully vaxxed & masked). But I also prefer staying home anyway. (Like I usually just go to dinner with my family lol)

20. What items could you not go without during the day? my computer. my book. my journal and a pen. My phone. My journal (b/c I write in it every night, as a diary, 14yo Linda wrote stories). Uh. I didn’t take food or drinks into account in the og, so I won’t in those. But, yeah. My phone & journal. I can go a day without my laptop if I need to. (Went the whole trip in July without pulling it out, though maybe that’s not a good example since my anxiety on that trip was so high..) I want to say a book, but I’ve been in a massive reading slump so...I wish I read as much as 15yo Linda did..

21. Who was the last person you visited in the hospital? I don't remember. I think it was myself.(if you want to know, ask me in person) I honestly don’t know. I don’t remember the last time I was in a hospital.

22. What does the last text message in your inbox say? "Mrbobbybones: wish ted would finally meet their mother already. geez. get to it. However, I see myself in that character more and more each episode." yeah. That's what it says. It's from Twitter. (Huh? and I can’t even go check b/c my inbox doesn’t go back to 2009 on Twitter?? (I haven’t had my account that long) Wait wait wait just remembered I used to get tweets to my phone as text messages lol)

Facebook messenger: “ Cool” From our group chat. Lol.

From actual text messages on my phone: “ heeey! Just put up the Tuesday PDS just for you it’s a big one.” From Phillip Defranco’s text line Lol.

23. How do you feel about your life right now? I'm loving and hating it. but hey nobody gets out alive right? Uh..I mean. I’m alive. I have WiFi. Food. Family. I haven’t seen my friends in 2 years. (Minus Alex, b/c they were here in July to cat/house sit, but I saw them for like, one night..) There’s a lot that could be better. A lot that could be worse.

24. Do you hate anyone? yes!!! Oof. I mean, kinda.

25. If we were to look in your Facebook Inbox, what would we find? some random conversations. most of my convos on her though have been in chat or through comments. Facebook Inbox is now Facebook Messenger. So you’ll find all my Facebook Messenger convos. Mostly our group chat. And side group chats for secret planning (birthdays & stuff). Plus other chats? Lol.

26. Say you were given a drug test right now, would you pass? I better! (excuse me miss 15yo Linda you absolutely could have passed a drug test you ALSO didn’t drink or smoke or take any drugs lol) Yeah. Absolutely. I don’t drink or smoke or take any drugs so, yeah? Lol.

27. Has anyone ever called you perfect before?

Yes. But I can't remember when... Yeah. Pretty sure.

28. What song is stuck in your head? Gee by SNSD(Girls Generation) They're Korean. A few My Chemical Romance songs

29. Someone knocks on your window at 2:00 a.m., who do you want it to be? EDWARD CULLEN! Joke! lol. No I don't know. If it was Edward, I'd call the cops. whoever it is though better have an explaination or they are gonna get hit in the head with my Book of Shadows. (Maybe I wouldn’t mind Edward at my window though? Lol.) Uh. My friends? Lol. Idk if I want anyone knocking on my window at 2am.

30.Wanna have grandkids before you’re 50? I don't know....... Uh. No? Idk. Most likely not gonna happen.

31. Name something you have to do tomorrow? I can't think of anything right now... Eat. Should probably clean my room.

32. Do you think too much or too little? Way to much! lol. Way way way too much

33. Do you smile a lot? i try to. I think I do. I get told that alot in Theater...

I think so

#questions #throwback #is this a get to know me #idk

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stillebesat · 4 years

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Scales (4/7)

Sanders Sides: Logan, Deceit, Virgil, Roman, Patton Blurb: Deceit hadn’t expected his absence from the Mindscape to be noticed by the others…until Logic knocked on his door. Fic Type: General Warnings: Shedding (snake style), Minor Injuries, Minor Pain, Touch Starvation, Death Talk Taglist in Reblog.

To Catch Up: Prologue Chapter 1 Chapter 2

Reveal himself? To the others? Like this?!

Oh no. No. No. NO! Deceit violently shook his head. There was no way! Not even for...family. He could handle this on his own! “You really need to stop using that word.” He muttered, pulling his legs up and away from Logic.

Leave his room? Get carried around like a sack of potatoes? Let the others see him in his weakened state? It was crazy talk. He was safe here. He couldn’t get--well he could get hurt less here.

Logan raised an eyebrow. “Which word?” He asked, the barest of smiles on his lips. “Family?”

Deceit made a face. “No.” Stupid. Freaking. Shed. Making him all sentimental and--and…malleable. He was the one who should be pulling the strings and using manipulation, not Logic.

“Mhmmm. Well…” Logan smirked, his eyes glittering underneath his damp bangs. “If it’s working, I will keep using it.” He held out his hand, wiggling his fingers. “Your Family wants to help you, Lyal.”

“You want to help me.” Deceit said, his heart climbing into his throat. He never left his room during Shed. Never. “There’s a difference.”

“I’m the only one who knows currently. That’s the difference. Give them a chance. You gave me one and it’s turned out alright, hasn’t it?”

But he was Logic! Logan wasn’t emotional like the others! “Yes, but--” Agh. Logic was using logic on him, and he was listening. Deceit looked down to his arm, his fingers twitching underneath the shed. “What could they give me out there, that I can’t get in here?” He whispered.

Logan raised an eyebrow. “You’re the one still in shed. You tell me.”

His shoulders slumped. “Point.” Deceit conceded, reluctantly uncurling. Logic. Freaking Logic. He had done everything he normally would do in his room and it hadn’t worked. If he was to get his shed off before it did major damage he had to do something more...something...different.

Deceit exhaled, stamping down on the butterflies twisting in his stomach. Even...even if it meant going out...letting the others see him--could they actually help? Would they want to?

He ignored Logan’s hand as he stood, only to grab onto his arm to keep from collapsing to the floor as his knees buckled, his vision tunneling.

Shoot! He was weak.

“I got you.”

Deceit barely had time to process the words before a band of warmth scooped up his legs while another steady arm supported his back as Logan lifted him bridal style. He inhaled sharply, flinching at the pressure on his left side from the other’s hand.

It was one thing for Logan to touch the shed. But holding him? It...he wasn’t used to so much contact. It was like a series of electrical pulses were dancing up and down his body reacting to the lesser heat that Logic gave off. It was an uncomfortable sensation, but also nice at the same time. Warm. And...okay it wasn’t bad. Especially when it wasn’t his left side pressed up against Logan. That contact would have been unbearable. The single band of the other Side’s arm across the shed was hard enough to tolerate.

“I--” Deceit cleared his throat, slowly resting his head against Logic’s chest, already knowing that arguing was useless. “I can walk.” He complained.

Logan hummed his disagreement, carefully adjusting his grip to put less pressure on Deceit’s scaled side. “You just told me your depth perception is off, which makes carrying you the safest option. Plus, you haven’t eaten in six days.” He reminded him as he turned for the door. “If. And I say If. You were able to walk, it would be better not to in order to conserve your remaining energy until you are able to ea---are you able to eat now?”

Deceit swallowed, closing his one eye as Logan shifted him a bit to get the door open. “I don’t know.” He whispered, shivering as they left his room, immediately regretting that he hadn’t grabbed his cape--not that he could wear it with the shed, but it was COLD out here. Drier. That couldn’t help him. He needed it to be warm and humid to get the shed off!

Deceit pressed his head harder against Logan’s chest, seeking the heat he could feel there as he breathed in the familiar scent of paper and jam. “Normally food doesn’t sit well.”

“But normally this lasts only--.”

“A couple of days.”

“Which fasting for that length is not unheard of.”

“Mmmm.”

“Six days though--”

“Is too long.” He knew that.

“You need to eat.”

“I….” Deceit exhaled, blearily opening his one eye, watching as Logan approached the stairs. His stomach twisted. He wasn’t quite sure if it was from hunger or nerves. The others were downstairs. He could hear their voices. They were going to see him like this. He swallowed, his heart rate picking up. “Yah…probably.”

“Can you?”

“I haven’t tried to yet, Genius. I don’t know.”

Logan huffed. “Point, but perhaps softer foods should be attempted first. Ice cream--”

Deceit winced, shuddering. “And freeze further? No thanks.”

“Soup then.” Logan said, pausing at the top of the stairs as Roman let out a particularly loud laugh below them followed by Patton’s quieter giggle.

Deceit gripped Logan’s tie, his fingers going white on the fabric, his vision blurring in his good eye. “Logic--” His breathing hitched as he moved his legs, shifting in Logan’s arms. This was a bad idea. He’d never shown the others this before. Never. They should go back to his room. It was safer. It was warmer. The others--

“Breathe, Lyal.” Logan soothed, remaining still, his arms keeping a warm comforting pressure around him.

Ha. He peered over Logic’s shoulder to his bedroom at the end of the hall. Easier said than done. This was….this was--

“Logan?”

Deceit tensed, ducking his head against Logic’s chest. Oh no.

Anxiety’s voice came from the base of the stairs, taking away their last chance to retreat without being seen.

Why did it have to be him next to see this?! Virgil would--

“Why are you--” Anxiety interrupted his own sentence with a loud curse as footsteps raced up the stairs. “Dee! What happened! Is he dead? He’s Dead!”

Dead? That reaction was a bit extre-- Deceit froze. Wait, was that worry he heard in Virgil’s voice?

“DEAD?!” Creativity’s voice rang through the common room.

Glass shattered. “Lyal? NO!”

“Guys! He’s not--” Logan tried to explain over Morality’s ear-piercing wail and Creativity’s loud swearing of vengeance as multiple feet pounded up the stairs. “Stop, it’s--”

Deceit hissed in displeasure as cool fingertips unexpectedly brushed his cheek. He jerked away from the touch, his left arm trembling as he half turned his head, his glossy snake eye staring at Anxiety’s vibrant heat signature.

“Dee?” Virgil whispered, eyes darting between the shed and the normal half of Deceit’s face.

“Annie.” He responded just as quietly, watching as Anxiety relaxed at the sound of his voice. Huh, usually he tensed up the Anxious Si--his nostrils flared, catching the swirling scent of cookies and pine needles just as the other two’s heat signatures joined Anxiety’s, surrounding Deceit like a wall of fire to his snake eye, their voices overwhelming his senses in a cacophony of noise as they jostled each other trying to see him.

“Guys-” Logan tried to interrupt.

“WHO DID THIS?!” Roman yelled over him, swinging his sword through the air, eyes dark with determination. “I Swear!---”

“Ohnononononohecantbehecantbedeadhecantbedead!” Patton cried, reaching out to Deceit only for Logan to deftly turn away so that he blocked the others from touching him.

“And I will SMITE them with MY SWORD--”

“Another Dark Side?” Virgil demanded. “Did they hurt--”

“Ly! Ly! Ly! Come on, friendo. You’re okay. You’re okay! Pleasepleaseplease.”

It was too much, far too much stimulation after six days of isolation, Deceit didn’t know how to react to so much...lov--concern. He tensed up, ducking his head against Logan’s tie in a useless attempt to hide from the others. If circumstances were different he would have already vanished, sunk out away from their attention. But considering that he wasn’t sure he could even stand...running away was out of the question.

It sucked being vulnerable.

Logan tsked under his breath. “LYAL’S ALIVE.” He shouted. “He’s just weak.” He added in the resulting quiet, carefully turning back so the others could see him.

“He’s alive?!--what’s--what happened to him?” Roman demanded, his sword vanishing with a simple twist of his hand.

“Alive? ALIVE! Oh, Lyal!” Patton blubbered. “You’re--” He reached out with both hands.

Deceit flinched back, reflexively baring his teeth, causing the father figure to freeze.

“Careful.” Logan warned, taking a step back, holding him close.

Deceit hunched his shoulders before forcing himself to relax, taking some comfort from Logic’s steady warm presence. This wasn’t how he wanted things to go, but...they weren’t attacking him for being a monster. Not hating him on sight. He could sense genuine concern from everyone, even Anxi-Virgil, about his welfare. He cleared his throat. “It’s...I’m fine.”

Logan glanced down at that, fingers tightening on his legs, but thankfully he didn’t call Deceit out on the lie.

“That doesn’t look fine dude.” Virgil retorted, fiddling with his hoodie sleeves. “Your skin--”

Deceit turned his head so the others could see his human side as well, carefully straightening a little in Logan’s hold, working to breathe normally. “It’s just...the scales shed. It’s normal for--for me.”

“Normal?!” Roman demanded, frowning at the shed covering half of Deceit’s torso. “How come we’ve never--”

Virgil scoffed. “I’d think that obvious, Princey. Would you want to be seen if you looked like a walking mummy?”

“Well...no, but!--”

“Does it hurt?” Patton asked, bottom lip trembling, his eyes wide and shining with unshed tears. “Ly...are you...are--”

Concern from Morality. Deceit drew in a slow breath, ignoring how fast his heart was racing and without trying to think about it too much, held out his arm. “It’s just--sensitive to touch, otherwise it doesn’t-” He fought to not flinch as Patton tenderly took his hand, his fingers feeling like warm sunshine on the shed. “Hurt.”

It usually didn’t hurt him...if it was under normal circumstances. This...was anything but that.

“I--” He looked away, trying to keep his voice from shaking, but it was hard...revealing your weaknesses like this after keeping them secret for his entire life. “I usually sleep through most of it.”

“Which is why we haven’t seen Lyal this past week.” Logan added as Roman moved closer, his blazing heat like the flames from a forge as he gently rested his hand against Deceit’s cheek.

“But?” Virgil crossed his arms. “Something’s wrong. Right? Otherwise I doubt that you would let us see you like this.”

Despite himself, Deceit leaned into Roman’s touch, soaking in the heat even as his senses screamed that it was too much. Logan, Patton, Roman...all touching him. It...it was painful, yet he couldn’t find himself wanting to draw away. “Yes.” If he had his way the others would have never found out.

“This particular Shed is lasting far longer than it should.” Logan supplied as he edged his way through the others, moving them closer to the stairs.

Deceit fought back the whimper that rose in his throat as Roman and Patton’s heat vanished from his shed, leaving his skin tingling.

“Lyal tells me that his usual methods of using heat and humidity to help with the process are not working.” Logan said, his fingers tightening on Deceit as they descended. “So I suggested we come down and solicit solutions from the rest of the family to help him out.”

Deceit drew in a shaky breath, peering over Logan’s shoulder to the others as they followed them into the living room. There was that word again. Family.

“Humidity?” Creativi-Roman repeated, falling instep beside them, still peering at the shed, the regalness fading from his voice as his brow furrowed in contemplation. “But I thought--”

“How long is a good long for this?” Patton asked, hovering right behind.

“Th-three days.” Deceit managed, shifting in Logan’s arms as they reached the couch. He’d never expected the others to...to care like this. Sure, Logic had said that they would want to help--but--he hadn’t actually believed it possible. But even Annie was---

A growl reverberated from Anxiety’s chest as his hands clenched. “But it’s been--”

“Six.” Logan confirmed, carefully setting Deceit down, making sure he was stable before sitting next to Deceit on his human side, keeping an arm protectively around him. “I convinced Lyal to come out here to you all so that we could find a solution quickly.”

“Or?” Patton asked, taking a seat on the coffee table, looking into Deceit’s eyes.

Deceit shivered, leaning into Logan despite himself to keep close to the heat he was giving off. He pulled his left arm close to his chest, reluctantly keeping eye contact. “I---it can cause permanent damage to me.” His arm trembled. If it hadn’t already.

Virgil frowned. “So why not just...you know.” He gestured to the shed. “Rip it off like a band-aid, Dee?”

Ri-Rip?! Deceit recoiled at the thought. “NO!” That was a very very bad idea!

“That won’t work, Dr. Gloom” Roman retorted, crossing his arms as he continued to study Deceit. “If the scales aren’t ready, it would cause further harm. The skin has to loosen--”

Deceit blinked, staring at Creativity in surprise. How--

Virgil raised an eyebrow. “How do you even know that, Princey?”

Roman scoffed, gesturing to himself. “Please! Am I not the one always fighting the Dragon Wi--” He cut off, eyes sparking with fire as he plopped down on the couch next to Deceit. “That’s it!” He breathed jabbing a finger at him, barely missing poking the shed. “You’re doing it wrong!”

He was WHAT? “Wrong?” Deceit repeated, jerking upright away from Logan’s heat. How could Roman say--WHAT?! “After thirty years of this.” He hissed, gesturing to his shed with a glare at Creativity, nearly nose to nose with him. “I hardly think I’m doing it wrong!”

“But Dragons don’t need humidity to shed! I’ve helped the Dragon Witch often enough when she has to go through the same process to know!” Roman argued back, a stubborn glint in his eyes. “That’s where you’re going all wrong!”

Off all the foolish things! Deceit scoffed, sitting back as he shook his head. “A Drag--I’m not some Fancy Creature of your Imagination Roman! They’re not dragon scales, they're snake scales you id--” He cut off, breath catching as he glanced uncertainly to Logic who raised an eyebrow at him, a slight frown on his face.

Hadn’t he caught the lie? He had to have.

Deceit drew in a shaky breath, pulling his scaled arm close to his chest. It wasn’t possible! And yet---“They’re snake scales.” He repeated, again hearing the lie in his words. A tremor ran through him. Impossible. “They--they…were snake scales.”

Logan’s eyes flashed like a lightbulb turning on as he sat up straight, grabbing Deceit’s human hand, squeezing it. “Your scales changed.” He breathed. “That’s the difference.”

To Be Continued Chapter 4

#Scales #stillebesat #Sanders Sides #Deceit #Logan #Virgil #Roman #Patton #Logic #Anxiety #Creativity #Morality #shedding tw #minor injuries tw #minor pain tw #touch starvation tw #death talk tw

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blizzardfluffykpop · 3 years

Text

M&M’s

Summary: Need a tutor? Well, you’ve come to the right school, we have just the one for you. And he’s attractive too.

Do or Not Series

Fluff

Word Count: 2,346

Hongseok X Reader

Of all my time at school, I never thought I would need tutoring. I was an A+ student when I started failing my classes. My grades were in the trash, and I had no idea how to improve or even raise them. How do you even study? Why is college structured like this? UGH! So now here I am sitting in the Dean’s office listening to them preach about how I need to learn from this person to pass. That they won’t hold it against me if I pass because of this tutor. All I have to do is pass the exams, and if I pass. I will move up to the Sophomore year. How am I supposed to pass a class that I’m not participating? And who is this person they are setting me up with? As if to answer my question, they say, “He should be here any moment.”

Like on queue, the door opens to reveal a rather attractive guy. They expect me to be able to study next to him? Oh god, I am so screwed, even worse than I was before. Okay, (Y/n), put your game face on and act like he does not affect you. “This is your tutor, Hongseok, and Hongseok this is (Y/n). I think you two will do well together.” We exchange a polite ‘hello’. Then the Dean tells him what the expectations are for the both of us. And I cannot help but feel my anxiety spike at each time he mentions ‘study’, ‘quiz’, and ‘pass’. What happened to cruising through school? Why is it no longer easy to pass? What did I miss when I was younger?

I was missing the old school structure. That I was memorizing what they said to forget it later. Because back then, as long as I knew the basics, I could pass. It wasn't like those classes were hard either. They repeated the same things over and over. So it was easy to remember, Hongseok had explained to me at our first meeting in the library. He wanted to know why I was failing and what made me remember best. I shrugged and said, 'probably repetition and listening' I wasn't sure, but that was the best guess I had. I never thought of ways to study because I never needed to beforehand. He grinned, “I know you wouldn’t believe it, but my first year here, I didn’t study. I didn’t know how or what worked for me or how I even learned. It took me to the last semester to realize what it was. Once it clicked, it was too late, and I barely passed my exams. To make up for me failing everything else, they asked me to tutor someone.” While I couldn’t believe my ears, something in my gut told me he wasn’t lying. Thus I decided that he was my best bet to make it into my sophomore year.

The following Wednesday, we are stuck inside the library again. When we get settled in our seats, he pulls out two packages of m&m’s. “What are those for?” I ask, and he shrugs and says, “You’ll see.” I pull out my books, a pencil, and a notebook. I’m worried he will look down on me for not having any past homework or past tests. But I threw them all out in exhaustion and frustration. I couldn’t deal with that massive amount of failure. But rather than saying anything, he pulls out some flashcards and a calculator. “Let’s start with math.”

Every time I got a question right, he gave me an m&m. My stomach growled at me every time I would get something wrong and lose out on an m&m. Not that I couldn’t reach in and get one, but the m&m's are rewards for whenever I get something right. Plus, he would give me his charming smile every time I got something correct, so I strived to get them correct.

It wasn’t until we finished math and science and we were walking out together. That I noticed, he was catering to the way I learned. Repeating steps with me or asking me the questions out loud and going through the steps with me. Whether it be an example or how to fix my mistakes, my heart skips a beat as he asks to walk me home.

"So, do you like university other than this?" I shrug, "It could be better, but generally I like it. Everyone I met is kind, like my roommates Changgu and Yanan. Like you're kind and sweet, I wanna thank you for helping me out." He grins, "You're helping me out too. I don't think either of us wishes to repeat Freshman year." I laugh and agree, "What about you? Do you like it here?" He shrugs, "It's okay. I don't have a roommate, but I have quite a few friends. So it helps, plus once you know how to study, it makes it so much easier." I laugh, "Yeah,... if I ever get to that point." When we reach my dormitory I tell him, "This is my stop." As I head inside, he yells, “I’ll see you this Sunday for History and [Subject].” I yell back my agreement and walk up the stairs to my room. I thought this would drag and not want to show up. But he makes me look forward to studying with him. Throwing my finished m&m bag away, I walk to my dorm with a proud smile on my face.

Like clockwork every Wednesday and Sunday, I spend the whole afternoon studying. And he would ask me to study for little quizzes that he would give me on Thursdays. They are over everything we have ever been over together. With each test I passed, my confidence grew, and so did my feelings.

Out of all the days that I spend with him, Thursdays have to be the hardest. With each test, I take the harder they become. I feel like my soul almost leaves my body every time he grades them. How his face turns up in cute ways, trying to figure out my process. Or when I get something right, he sends me a beautiful smile or his pout when I miss a question. His faces make my heart flutter while my stomach wants to throw up from fear of failure. Between the two, I can never seem to stomach Thursdays.

While I have learned my study pattern, I still have to pass this course with him or I fail. While I’m taking a quiz, three Thursdays before my exam, he tells me. “I can already tell you that you are going to succeed with flying colors. So if you fail this quiz, take it with a grain of salt. You have to fail sometimes to succeed.” The first page was easy I knew all the answers without a problem. I rushed through them, and the next page was a little harder. When I got to the eighth page, I was starting to question whether I was studying. What does the eighth number of pi have anything to do with this course? I wish to cry as I take my best guess, which is all I can do when I reach the tenth page. I sigh in relief, it’s the last page it can’t be that hard, can it? Oh, yes, yes it can. “If you take the 4th number of the last answer. [Which I am positive I did not get right, considering that I only gave a two-digit answer to the last question]. Exponentially expand it by twenty-two. What is the number you get?” And that is the first part of the ten parted question. My brain craves a nap and a family-size bag of m&m’s.

By the time I finish the last page, I am running on one brain cell. That is running around, throwing all the files in my brain into a shredder, and giving up. How did I not know a single answer after the third page? His face is in a pout after the second page, and my heart breaks. I don’t want him to disappoint him. I should study harder to make him proud of me. I groan internally, this is going worse than I expected. “Out of thirty questions, you got seven right!” He says in a cheery tone, and my heart falls out of my body, and my soul has ascended.

“Remember what I said when you started taking the test?” I rack my brain for answers and find nothing. I shake my head 'no', and he pouts, “Aw,... Well, I said take it with a grain of salt. Maybe some quizzes are made impossible.” My jaw drops, “You did that on purpose--!” He shrugs, “Did I?” He makes me rethink what I said, and I pout and cross my arms over my chest. He hands me a pack of m&m’s, “Maybe study harder.” He winks, and I push him to the side when we get up to leave the building. “You know you passed the hardest question on the quiz, right?” My eyes nearly pop out of my head, “What?” He grins, “None of your work made sense, but in the end, you answered four on the last question, and that was the right answer.” I smile, “Sometimes taking your best guess works. Also, four happens to be the professor's favorite number, so if you aren’t sure, guess that.” My jaw drops open again as he ruffles my hair, “You did pretty well, (Y/n).” I brighten at his words and hug him. “I promise to study hard! Two more quizzes before the final test!” He laughs and hugs me back telling me, “You got this!”

It wasn’t until the last study session that I realized how much I would miss Hongseok’s presence. It hit me like a ton of bricks, and when I got to my room, I was bawling. I wanted to see him more. I wanted to be around him and get to know him more. It took me a few moments, but I realized I fell for my tutor. How could I not? When I had a tutor like Hongseok,... Based on all calculations, I have a crush on him. I wonder if he likes me back, but there is only one way to know. Do I have enough courage for that? I’m not sure. I sigh and wipe my tears, saving them for a less important day. I need to study and pass these four exams.

I spend hours studying for tomorrow, although I know my study method. It did not make studying any less boring. I missed Hongseok, who would crack a joke or grab us a snack. He made this so much easier studying five hours with him felt like two. Ugh, now five hours of studying feels like fifteen. At the sixth hour, I call it a day and pull the covers over my head, and dream of failing the exams.

When my alarm clock finally rings, I’m happy to be up and away from those horrid dreams. With a brave face, I get ready for my exam day. I check my phone and see it’s Hongseok. He texted me, “Good luck on your exams! Fighting! You got this!” I smile and text him back, ‘thank you'. I got this, I keep reiterating to myself, but I can’t help but hear the doubtful voice in the back of my head. I am taking all my exams in one instance. So that means five hours of taking four different tests. While I know all the study sessions were preparing me for this moment, I want it to be over and done with already.

Of course, none of the tests were easy they each pulled at my wit's end. I sit there for another thirty minutes waiting for them to grade my tests. Preparing myself for the worst news, I think about Hongseok’s encouragement. If he thinks I’ll pass, maybe he’s right. If it wasn’t just my grades on the line, I wouldn’t care as much. But when it comes to Hongseok, my heart is grasping at the hope that I made it above passing.

The professor looks up at me as I turn a page in my book. I set it down with a bookmark. They smile at me, “Your lowest is an 87,” I gulp, no way, “Your highest is a 99.” My brain is no longer processing words as I rush out of my seat to see my results. “Congratulations, (Y/n). You passed with flying colors.” I smile and shake their hand, thanking them, and skip out of the building. I passed. I really passed! Is this real? I'm not dreaming again, right? I pinch myself and let out a small ‘ouch’ definitely real. I skip out of the building and see someone wearing a blue sweatshirt sitting on the fountain. As I come up closer, I recognize them as Hongseok. I run up to him and hug him. He whispers, “Did you pass?” And I shake my head 'yes'. He runs his hands through my hair, “I knew you would! I’m so proud of you.” Hearing him say that my heart pounds, “Um, Hongseok,...” I pull away from him a bit, my arms still wrapped around him. He nods for me to continue, “Would you maybe,... possibly want to go on a date with me?” He smiles, “I was gonna ask you that!” We both laugh as he hands me a family-size pack of m&m's for us to share. We head over to my dorm, and that is the start of our new beginning.

While we still study together, you can find us lying on the floor while watching the tv and throwing m&m's at each other. Making different kinds of foods together, making an even bigger mess in the kitchen. So yeah, if given the opportunity, I would fail my classes all over again. If it meant I got to meet Hongseok.

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logically-asexual · 3 years

Text

okay i'm already procrastinating and i don't plan on sleeping any time soon so here we go.

☆ ✩ my personal ranking for every season 1 Sanders Sides episode. ✩ ☆

i think it's going to be pretty similar to @dukeofonions' but let's see if i find something new to contribute haha. i see you didn't include that one about Patton in the Big Game or whatever, so i'm not including it either xd. also i think i'm going to count Accepting Anxiety as one episode only.

edit: i finished and now i dare you to drink a shot of water every time i say the word spanish or a version of the word comfort and become very well hydrated.

#16 I'm in a Disney Show

(i agree with dukeofonions here) i always forget this episode exists. it was ok in terms of being happy for real life Thomas but as a Sanders Sides episode it didn't do anything. the sides were just giving their opinions but it wasn't very funny or interesting. also i'm bitter because it made me look up the episode he was in and i didn't like it at all. i don't know if i'm too old for those Disney shows now but Thomas was literally the only good part of it, everything else was really dull and boring imo. a waste of time.

however, Logan supporting clickbait is one of the funniest things ever, and i'll never forget it.

#15 Becoming A Cartoon

i didn't hate this episode but it was just .. meh.. you know? several factors contribute to this. one, i couldn't feel much nostalgia for Butch Hartman's shows because i watched them in Spanish, and everything feels really weird when they speak English, i don't like how my old cartoons sound in English. two, it was disappointing to me because we were all desperately waiting for Plot™ and instead they give us this short episode about nothing (oh how the tables have turned now it's the other way around haha). and three, i didn't like the style of the animation :/ their faces and expressions freaked me out, Roman's douchey face still haunts me.

#14 Way Too Adult

here i'm biased because i don't like Patton much, and i didn't back when i watched the series the first time either, so this video was a little disappointingwithout the rest. also it wasn't relatable to me because i am still too young and dependent on my parents haha. but Patton is funny and it's funny to laugh at Thomas' struggling.

#13 The Dark Side of Disney

i've never been a fan of Disney movies. i actually never watched Mulan or the Lion King or Aladdin as a kid, so meh. i liked the ending, though, it was cool to see Virgil have fun and be right for once. it does make me a bit uncomfortable because the way Thomas tries too hard with Virgil's mouth movements and his low voice reminds me of a guy that had made me v uncomfortable not long before watching that video. so an icky feel overall.

#12 A New Year of Lying to Myself

this video was actually kind of fogettable to me. i had a hard time connecting the voices in the song to the characters and idk. i don't love it nor hate it, just .. neutral.

#11 My True Identity

pretty much the same opinion as dukeofonions, again. it's a good introduction and it's good that it was the beginning of it all but on its own it's not very special. i think it's awesome on Thomas to have come up with such a clever idea, like choosing the dad, the teacher and the prince and putting them together and match them with thoughts?? that fit so perfectly?? it really is just very impressive when you think about it, that it was just a random idea he had for a short 5 minute video.

#10 Taking on Anxiety

i liked this video a lot because when i watched it i had recently been a lot on tumblr, and found out through relatable posts that i had anxiety. so watching this video was really fun and it made me happy to feel so seen, specially the intro when Thomas just talks about what it's like to have Anxiety and Virgil is so smug about it.

- ★ -

okay now that those are out of the way things are going to get hard... all the following i love with all my heart so i'm going to rank them based on the smallest things.

#9 Growing Up

once more, Patton isn't my favorite. so that's why i'm putting this here, plus the echo at the end askjhsahg, but i love love this video. i remember we were waiting and oh so ready for the angst of nobody taking Patton seriously. and we received!! i love that though Roman and Logan are antagonists here, they're both so happy about Thomas wanting to have a healthy life. and i just adore the way Logan admits his mistake at the end and asks Patton directly. my heart... also aw.. the nostalgia. i remember none of us knew how to spell Patton's name and were writing it in very funny ways until Thomas and Joan told us lol.

#8 The Mind vs The Heart

when i watched this video the first times i didn't like it much, because i only had eyes for Virgil, but later i came back to it and loved it. so taking that into account i'm putting it here. logicality was the first ship i ever shipped in the show because i saw a gifset on tumblr of Patton screaming "what do you know about love?!" and Logan "apparently more than YOU" and the caption said "MARRIED", and i thought hey yeah... anyway. i love them. they're both my dads since that day.

this video is so so so relatable and i love it. Logan and Patton are so much fun arguing and i love how they compromise at the end and work together. im reconsidering.. i might move it higher? no, fine i'll leave it here.

#7 Making Some Changes

this video was absolutely hilarious. i personally couldn't see it as the Sides still once they were acted by Thomas' friends, i enjoyed it more as that bunch being silly and trying to be the sides but failing in so many ways, while sometimes nailing stuff suddenly. i really don't take this one too seriously as an episode. except Joan!Logan and Valerie!Logan, my beloved... i love how Joan acted as Logan and their voice and that they kept their ace ring on.. there's a reason i had them as my icon for so long. and Valerie looks a bit (a lot) like me with the glasses and dressed in dark colors, plus she spoke Spanish and there's .. no words to describe the joy i felt when seeing/hearing that. wait i'm getting emotional...

#6 My Personality Q&A

when i watched this Virgil was my favorite side and i didn't care much about the rest lol. when i heard his answers i related to him SO much it was scary, and also his voice is so soft and it was all very comforting. it was also when i first starting looking at Logan with more attention, because when he brought up Big Hero 6 and Fall Out Boy and said he didn't sing and would recite it like a poem? it only took a couple seconds but my brain said "me" and never went back.

now this video is a little underwhelming to watch for me, most of the appeal for me was in finding out the answers, and also watching it when we didn't know a lot about the sides. now we know more and want to know more so it's not as fun to me as it was first.

i wish so bad they'd do another one, although i know it would be more difficult with a much bigger audience, i think they can manage and i just need it. the chaos.. the energy.. they all being so savage with each other, learning little random facts about them you didn't expect.. i need it.

- ★ -

oh boy top 5 here we go. the next three are practically a tie. i can't choose.

#5 Alone on Valentines Day

i love Valerie, and the idea of this video was perfect and so perfectly excecuted. every side just giving their crazy opinions on how to woo a random stranger, i laughed SO much. first with Logan speaking simlish out of nowhere? at that point i didn't know practically anything about the sims except that it was some video game and the whiplash of Logan going AYO and the rest killed me. then when Roman whipped out that dialogue in Spanish??? my life was completed. i've never felt more happy than i did in that moment gosh. just the hilarity of Roman's drama, the shock of them speaking Spanish suddenly like that, the absolute JOY of seeing a creator i like speak (may i say) perfect Spanish, the other characters' faces after that.. never been happier.

also the conclusion was so cute. Virgil solving the whole problem without wanting to. i loved it.

#4 Am I Original

i think this video speaks for itself. it was fun to watch them all do the ideas Roman had, plus Logan and Virgil nodding at each other, (i love them so much), plus the angst at the end of Roman's perfectionism, plus Roman's just perfect name. this video has it all.

i think Thomas posted it kind of late at night and i watched it at 7am in the classroom as i waited for my classmates to arrive and the class to start. (i usually was like 40 minutes early to school due to mom’s work). i had to contain my laughter and it wasn’t easy.

#3 Losing My Motivation

i started loving this video after a while, when Logan passed Virgil in the position for my favorite side. but once he did this episode was beautiful. it's so funny and i love Logan and Patton's dynamic so much. and the video also so damn relatable in general. i felt so seen with it because they named all the problems i have when procrastinating, down to Patton's vague explanation of his feelings, it's exactly how i feel every time i want to do stuff. and the plot twist! i can hear the dramatic sound effect and see how they all turn to Logan clearly in my head, and it always makes me smile. plus there's so much Logan angst that can be dug up and overanalized. i love to watch it over and over.

#2 Accepting Anxiety

this video was perfect. everything we wanted. we knew it was coming and it delivered perfectly, better than any fanfic done in the waiting time. the week between the parts was agonizing but in a fun way somehow. i remember precisely when i was watching part 2 in my living room. i screamed. and i cried, a lot. i was feeling terrible at that time in my life and Thomas was such a comforting presence and i can't begin to describe how this episode made me feel.

and later it is always fun to rewatch with all their different reactions to being in Virgil's room, the energy of that was on point. Thomas is such a great actor and the characters where just amazingly performed. plus it gave so much to talk adn think about, the idea of the rooms, lots lots of insight into the characters, foreshadowing, so much. it's just perfect i have nothing else to say.

#1 (for purely emotional reasons, ironically) My Negative Thinking

i think Accepting Anxiety is the best episode of the season objectively but my favorite is My Negative Thinking. because i love Virgil and Logan so much and seeing them argue together was and is great. the comfort.. i can't repeat that word enough throughout this post. it's such a soft video while not being overwhelming with Patton and Roman's outbursts. just quiet (mostly) and clear and with perfectly timed humour.

Logan my beloved.. learning spanish... helping me with my own anxiety.. and their debate was so good. and the fact that they were friends i- i can't. Virgil didn't think Logan liked him and Logan told him explicitly that he did and the casual softness of it i cant even. Logan is happy that he tried.. it's just marvelous. Virgil and Logan as best friends will always be my favorite pair, and their dynamic will always be what i strive for in any relationship i might form, with both sides silently comforting each other within their own limits and realistic perspectives. so nice.

- ★ -

so yeah. that's all. thank you if you read all the way up to here. ♡ ♡ ♡

#sanders sides #thomas sanders #logan sanders #virgil sanders #patton sanders #roman sanders

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7wanderingpaws · 4 years

Text

The Art of Shakiness

Pairing: Baekhyun x reader

Genre: collegue AU, doctor AU, wee bit of angst, romance, fluff

Warnings: none

Word count: 5.3K

A/N: I saw the pretty moodboard and asked dear Marie @iloveagain if I could attempt to write this for her! I hope so much you will like it, sorry it took me so long! I would appreacite any kind of feedback! I enjoyed this! ❤😭 and omg I apologise for the terrible name of the oneshot, I am very bad at names :(((

“Miss, your hand is trembling too much,” scolded the professor as he walked to your lab table where the dead frog was lying, his white belly cut open. He stood in front of you, tsk tsking at you as he shook his head disapprovingly. “How do you want to take out his spleen if your hand is trembling so much? It is a small organ surrounded with even smaller ones. You know a surgeon needs a steady hand.”

Pressing your lips together, sucking them in you didn't meet the eye of your professor, too ashamed to look at him and see the disappointment.

You have always been struggling with shaky hands, whether you were stressed or not. If you were stressed and held a thin piece of paper, you could be rest assured you wouldn't even be able to read from it, the paper shaking violently in your weak fingers. It was something you have been extremely self-conscious about, and you learned early on how to mask the discomfort on your face whenever you caught people staring at your shakiness. Of course, just like all the elementary school kids, you were no exception to jokes or teasing, but you could deal with that. Accepting the truth and being able to make fun of it was a mature treat of yours when you were young and unknown to the cruel human nature.

“Just look at the gentleman next to you,” pointed out the professor, his hand gesturing to no other than Byun Baekhyun himself. “Steady hands, precise clean cut, causing as little damage to the body as possible. Maybe you should learn from him.” He didn't even look at you as he continued his way down the path of lab tables, all filled with surgical equipment and focused (or rather stressed) students. “Just continue working, miss.”

Gritting your teeth, you tried hard not to give ANY attention to the male next to you. He was chuckling, while working through the intestines of the little animal. His hands were swift, steady and just like the professor described, precise. Although you would never admit it out loud, having steady hands on a male was something that could turn you on and have you stare at the steadiness of the hands for way too long. Plus point would always be, if those hands were handsome too.

But back to your main point.

You hated the male next to you. He was you working partner, sitting partner and there was not much you could do about it. He was a playful charmer, always getting the best (or worst?) out of you, driving you up the wall. He was the number one student in almost all practical seminars besides… well, general medicine. In that one class, you were the number one.

“It's cause all you have to do is memorizing,” he would retort.

Sure.

Of course.

You weren't aiming to be the number one student at all. No. He was competing with nonexistent competition.

Or was he?

Because maybe the utmost, infuriating fact about him was that he didn't have to as much as sit down and thoroughly study. No. He was the one, who could read the text once or twice and he would recite it backwards.

So, in the words of students and friends that you shared, he was a scarily intelligent genius.

And you had to agree, and you hated him for that. He was everything you weren't. He was relaxed, you were stressed. You were trembling, he was steady. You were angry, he was cheerful. You had different personalities because of which your exchange of opinions clashed. And as much as everyone adored him, you couldn't.

It was the presentation day.

Your stack of diligently prepared papers was lying on your table, ready to be presented to the audience consisting of your classmates and your professor, who definitely didn't listen to information about the consistency of DNA before at all (sarcasm). Heck, he was your professor. If there was anyone that knew his thing better about this subject, it was exactly him. So you researched and studied hard, went to various lengths to give a good impression. But there was one thing that was holding you back, a scar that was threatening to bust open once you stood in front of the big auditorium, your well-structured ppt screened on the vast wall behind you.

As you were holding the single piece of paper, ready to start, was when you noticed your stress had got the better out of you again. It was shaking, violently, and despite you being confident in your presentation skills, this threw you off guard.

The silence in the huge space was literally deafening, and you struggled to get your heart to beat in a regular pace again. You didn't want to show this side of you. For once, you wanted people to be awed at how good you were at this…

But it didn't work. No matter the determination, the desire and mental will power to control the paper and the shakiness, it did not stop. If anything, it would tremble even more.

Screaming inside, you just decided you wouldn't look at the paper, hoping your memory of the text you were supposed to present was still well engraved in your memory.

Taking a deep breath, you were about to start when someone cleared their throat and stood up. Someone. It was him. He was walking down the steps that led from his seat to the podium you were on, and you professor raised a questioning eyebrow at the slim figure that was now almost in front of you. Not even giving him a chance, you frowned, whispering: “What are you doing?”

Without a word, he handed you something. It was a clipboard. “Just take it. Use it,” was what he said, giving you an encouraging smile.

Staring at the clipboard, you saw his hand - the steady one, that was now trying to help you by easing your anxiety. “Stop staring and take it. You have an audience to impress,” he murmured but he was playful. Grabbing your hand, he pressed it into your sweaty palm. Before he let go of you, you felt his hand squeezing yours gently, causing your heart to jump painfully.

Winking, he turned around swiftly, and on his way back he spoke out loud to the class: “Our colleague forgot her support.”

Your professor chuckled and motioned for you to start. By hearing him chuckle, and then facing an encouraging face of Baekhyun who was now staring at you like a puppy with perked ears and a wiggly tail, you finally managed to have a peace of heart. Your hand got a bit steadier as you put the paper on the clipboard, and with no trace of shakiness haunting you, you presented.

He was always there to support you, yet you never gave it a thought. You never questioned his fond smile when he looked at you struggling with scalpel or when the memorizing of the muscles in latin wouldn't work well with your brain. You never even thanked him when he told you the easier ways to remember the difficult terms and you almost cut him open with your own scalpel when he helped you at autopsies.

Patiently, he would lean over the lab table you shared, his elbows on the surface as he clasped his handsome hands together. Wait. Did you just say handsome? N-no, you meant steady and good-look-NO! Just. Steady.

“And now grab the left side,” he murmured, his attention fully on the work at hand. His hot breath fanned the skin on your hand and the goosebumps caused a wave of shakiness overtaking your limbs.

“Woah,” he grabbed your hand gently before it would stab another organ. “Relax. We can't ruin-”

“I know,” you snapped, stepping away from the table and focusing your gaze upwards to ease the tension from focusing for too long. “I can't scratch the other organs, it needs to be precise, and I should take out the stomach, not the guts… I know it all, Baekhyun. You aren't the only knowledgeable person here.” You were still staring elsewhere, rolling your eyes to exercise the muscles.

Baekhyun frowned, not showing the hurt you caused with your snappy attitude. “I know you know,” he tried, straightening up to his full height, his lab coat in a funny angle around his broad shoulders. “I'm just trying to help. You only need to pass this one exam and then you don't have to do more autopsies, or surgeries.”

“No,” you replied resolutely. He went silent. “This isn't the only time. I want to be a surgeon, just like my father. I want to be as good as him.”

“You can do it,” he stated. He waited until you turn and finally look at him, but you didn't. It was making him sad to see you suffering and if it meant spending all his free time to help you, then so be it. “I know you can.”

“I can't! The professor will kick me out of this course at the exam!”

“Just trust yourself a little bit!” he insisted now, his voice louder as he took a hold of your shoulder, needing to see your eyes. He wanted you to see his, so that maybe you could understand.

Once you finally locked eyes with him, he spotted your teary eyes and he gasped softly, hating the view. He never saw you cry before.

“What?” you whispered, afraid to speak louder in case your voice would fail you. You already hated he was witnessing this side of you.

He opened his mouth to speak, but you suddenly shook your head in dismissal, shaking his hand off of your shoulder. “No, don't talk. Don't. I can't stand you right now.”

And you left.

Pff, that idiot kept being annoying even more after that day in the labs. He wouldn't stop pestering you, always doing silly stuff to try to tick you off and it would end up in him laughing at you. Yeah. You always knew he was no good news.

It was next week when you had the last autopsy seminar at 7am before the final exam. You came in earlier, your thoughts still sleepy but soon to be woken by your determined self to pass the course and prove the world that even people with the worst shakiness in their hands could become amazing surgeons.

Baekhyun was already there, preparing the equipment and checking his notes when he heard you enter the silent room. The smell of disinfectant hit your nose once again, and you suppressed the disgust and negative emotions that were tied to the smell.

“Good morning,” he smiled at you and let his gaze rest on you until you reached the table on the other side. When you didn't respond, only letting out a grunt, he frowned. “That isn't your seat.”

“Well, now it is.”

Once again, he tried not to show the hurt he felt at your actions. He always had you next to him; throughout all the labs he could keep a secret eye on your work and amend issues quickly when you weren't looking. But now, sitting too far away from him and the exam literally around the corner, you couldn't afford to make a mistake.

“You should get tissues from the toilets then,” he said, feigning ignorance as he focused his attention back on his doodles of corgi dogs that he was scribbling until you interrupted his diligent work - the one you mistook for him studying his notes. “The table's dirty and I saw a piece of a finger not far away.”

Hearing his monotone voice, you didn't know what scared you more - the information he was providing you and made you flinch away from the table, or his sudden cold attitude. He was never cold with you.

“Sure,” you replied, turning to leave, giving him one last glance before exiting.

Baekhyun, hearing your absence, quickly stood up and took his water bottle, successfully pouring it on the chair made of light wood. Good, he thought to himself smuggly. Thanks to the light colour, it would be difficult to spot the puddle and plus, it wasn't like people usually paid attention to the chairs they were about to sit on, right?

You returned with some toilet papers, and quickly cleaned the table up, although it wasn't as messy as Baekhyun told you it was. Getting rid of the dirty papers, you finally sat down, wanting to just move on and start preparing when you felt it.

Wet coldness made itself inside through the textile of your jeans, all the way to your underwear. Letting out a yelp, you jumped up, turning around to see that, indeed, there was a puddle on the chair that you failed to notice.

Chuckles coming from the side couldn't be stopped, more so when you locked eyes with Baekhyun's laughing ones, his eyes half-moons turned downwards as he couldn't keep it in anymore and he started to laugh out loud, his mouth wide open.

“You-” you let out, seething from anger. “You did this?!” you shouted, your face growing hot, as angry tears made their way to your eyes. Disbelief in his actions was an understatement. How could he do this to you? “Are you freaking nuts? BYUN BAEKHYUN!!!” you screeched, letting out a loud, high-pitched scream as you closed your eyes and kept screaming.

Stopping abruptly, you opened your eyes, huge tears falling out of them. Taking your bag, you made three quick, big steps towards his laughing figure only for him to stop, surprised at the sight of your tear-stained face. “You,” you leaned in, so, so close that his eyes widened at the proximity, his heart jumping fast. “I,” you re-started, breathing heavily as you pointed your finger at him, poking it into his shoulder. “I. Hate. You. And if I see you anywhere near me, I will end you.”

You didn't fail that exam. But your professor didn't forget to mention the difficulties you would have once proceeding on with your field of study - an orthopaedic surgeon.

It left you so utterly devastated, disappointed and just overall bitter about your whole studies that you ended up locked in your room for days, crying.

You made sure, whenever you had to go to school and attend exams, you would make great effort in ignoring Baekhyun, who was so shocked at your cold attitude. You not even batting an eyelash at him, and he, just like you, ended up being bitter. He missed you, missed your presence. Despite you being grumpy with him, he never wanted to lose you. He admitted he might have gone too far with the wet chair thingy… He thought…

What did he think?

Well, now he could see it didn't bring you back to him. It officially made you hate him and he was hopeless. Trying to start conversations with you was completely fruitless. Surprising you with bouquets of flowers on your table didn't work at all. It had only one plus: he could see you genuinely smile until you recognized him hiding behind the wall, watching your reaction and you would realize the gift was from him. As much as you were touched, and it may have made your heart flutter, you couldn't stop the frown. You would stand up, leaving the bouquet there for Baekhyun to sadly walk over and retrieve it, watching your leaving figure.

The next semester he never saw you in the classes again. Did you give up? Or did you take a semester off? No, you couldn't have given up! You came too far for you to give up!

Contacting you was not working; apparently you changed your phone number.

Why other friends knew this, but he didn't?

Did you really hate him so much?

And what was this pain he was feeling? The darkness that was surrounding him, caused by your absence… it was hurting too much. He missed you.

He was, in fact, the entire time, hopelessly in love with you.

And you...

You hated him.

5 years later

You were just walking down the corridor at your department, hands deep inside your pockets when you heard your name being called out. Turning, you saw your colleague Hana running down after you. “I have a huuuuuge favour to ask of you,” she sighed once she stopped in front of you, clutching her hip for support.

“What favour?” you asked, worried you might have to stay longer in the hospital again. Even though your department wasn't the one where overnight shifts were common (actually, extremely rare) but staying longer than 5-6pm was always tiring. “I have covered your ass way too many times, don't you think?”

Finally her breath evened out and she straightened up, giving you puppy eyes.

“No!” you pointed your finger at her. “Don't you dare do this to me!”

“Please!” she wailed, locking her hands together in a plea. “I swear this is the last time. Then you can order me around as much as you want.”

You sighed, pressing your index and middle finger to your temple, trying to ease the stress of the day. “You know I don't like ordering people around…”

“Whatever, you will have me at your mercy. But Sehun managed to get a reservation at this fancy restaurant-”

You heaved out another sigh, her words now completely draining you out. These people. Dating, meeting up, being romantic, intimate… everything that you barely ever experienced, and now as a working person, you swore you could say bye to finding any kind of love in your life. You work was your life. But you didn't love work. Did that mean you didn't love your life then...?

You waited until she finished and you gave her a grunt. “What do you want me to do? I can do the exercises with your patients if that's what you want.”

She smiled nervously, but shook her head slowly, obviously wary and suddenly hasty.

“What is it?” you frowned. “You are acting like I bite.”

She scratched the back of her neck, avoiding your gaze. “Well, it is a bit of an annoying work, that is why I am not the happiest about asking you…”

“You don't seem like it,” you scoffed.

She ignored you and went on: “Anyway. Remember there was this huge accident few weeks ago? With two parents and two kids... “

You nodded, already dreading what was coming. It was an absolutely horrendous car crash that had two parents falling out through the front window, leaving them in a terrible state, meanwhile the kids didn't get as much as a scratch. News reporters were flooding the hospital and there was a huge interest regarding the two parents who were now lying on the intensive care after going through lengthy, difficult and complex surgery.

“So both parents have trouble with walking as you know. They are now at the orthopedic department after getting another surgery few days ago.”

“Oh, I wasn't aware they moved them.”

“Well, yeah, because of the naggings from the TV stations it is being kept a secret. But anyhow… The boss put me under the recovery supervision. They require basic exercises to support muscle activity. Do you think you could go to the orthopedics department and do it for me?”

You were hesitant. Not because you didn't want to do it. Actually, you would gladly help that poor family that went through such tragedy. But there was something else holding you back.

After few seconds of tense contemplating, you finally nodded. “Okay. Alright. I will do it. Do you have the necessary documents?”

“Thank you so much!” she squealed, hugging you. “I prepared the docs, they are in the common room on my table.”

When you arrived at the orthopedics department, it was quiet given the time of the day you visited. Kindly asking for directions from the nurses, you finally found the patients in question. A doctor was turned with his back towards the entrance, tending to the patients and making small talk. You hesitated only for a second before entering, the doctor not familiar to you.

“You will soon fly, miss, forget about walking,” he joked as he laughed breathily and that was what made you freeze. That voice was familiar…

The patient's eyes fell on you, and that was what probably made Baekhyun turn in his spot, wanting to check who was behind him. His eyes locked with yours and you saw that his manly features that were now in a friendly smile froze as he took you in.

How many seconds have passed with both of you staring at each other? Why was this so painful?

You knew it.

You. Knew. It.

That he would be there.

But you still came to his department. Of course, if there was any department closer to orthopedics, it was yours - physiotherapy. You and your colleagues were the ones who put into practice what the surgeons in orthopedics pieced together. The two departments were so vital to each other, they would be almost inseparable.

“The nurse arrived,” chimed in a friendly voice of the father. “Welcome!”

“Our doctor is already bewitched, we see,” chuckled the mum as she exchanged looks with her husband lying on the bed next to her.

You cleared your throat, heat rushing into your cheeks, matching your pink lipstick that complimented your face, and your personality. Baekhyun would agree, without hesitation. Sweet. Smart. Pretty. And real. Right now. In front of him.

“I came to tend to the patients, following the post-surgery recovery.” You said, still staring at Baekhyun wide-eyed. “If you could brief me in on the details, I would appreciate that.”

You weren't sure what, but something was so different about him. It had been too long. Comparing him to the Baekhyun you saw last many years ago, he was now more chubby in cheeks, seemed very healthy yet buffed up in a way. Sporting a clean haircut with brownish hair, you could now see how his face stood out. Sparkly eyes were still the same. Lips, that were now slightly parted at the unexpected sight of you, still so, so honest when he finally let out: “Well, damn.”

He was their main surgeon. The youngest in the department. The youngest ever to accomplish such an outstanding surgery. And as you learned while you were doing exercises with his patients, he was also “very, very kind and even more funny.”

You chuckled, feeling warm inside. Yes. Just like you remembered him, even though at the time you never acknowledged him that way.

“You know, all the nurses are swooning,” whispered excitedly the wife as you gently took her leg and pushed it towards her chest slowly before straightening it back up. “But the way he went silent when he saw you - wow. Dr Byun never goes silent on people.”

“Trust me,” added the husband, winking at you from the other bed. “We have been here for a while to know.”

“Yes, you have been here way too long,” you heard the voice from the doors and you felt your heart skip a beat. He was leaning against the doorframe, amusedly listening. The husband and wife chuckled, while you calmly continued working. “You are finishing up now, right?” he asked, the question now directed at you.

You looked at him from behind your shoulder. “Yes. We will finish in a few minutes.”

He nodded, looking at the exercises for a bit before he cleared his throat again and straightened up. “Could you please see me in the office before you leave?”

Humming an approval, he left.

And so, when finished and parted ways with the kind patients, you found yourself in his office, sitting on a chair opposite him.

“You wanted to see me…” you mumbled, not sure what to make of him constantly gawking at you.

He shook his head slowly. “Ah, sorry. I wasn't… I never knew you are working in this hospital,” he started.

“Well, I am,” you smiled at him.

“You knew I was here,” he stated. “Yet you not once came to visit me. And, and… all those years ago you disappeared…” he trailed off, slight hurt still present in his features.

Sure, first loves always hurt. It wasn't a shame for him to admit he never really loved before he met you, as much as it was difficult to believe it.

“Yes, I changed my university and my major, too,” you replied. “So I graduated later than you. I never knew you worked here until recently when you became the youngest surgeon to be successful at such a difficult surgery.”

“Why didn't you tell me?” he asked, curiosity eating him away. He always wanted answers and he thought he would never get them. But finally, finally you were here. He could reach out and touch you, if he as much as wished so. “I thought we were friends.”

“Baekhyun,” you sighed before coughing. You knew he was asking about the past. “I mean, Dr Byun. It was a difficult stage in my life. I don't want to talk about it. I'm happy to know and witness you are doing well though. You became something I could never become.”

“You would have made it,” he replied passionately, speaking your name with such intensity it made you lock eyes with him immediately. “I had you all covered. I wouldn't have let you leave if you only talked to me!”

You were speechless as he slightly raised his voice, but not in a bad way. There was something bothering him, and you gently smiled at the hunch you were getting. “You always made fun of me, did you forget? You were my rival. I couldn't just be friends with you when you were the one having everything I ever wanted.”

Baekhyun went silent, heaving out a breath after your confession. “I never saw you as a rival.” Not even once.

“That doesn't matt-”

“I missed you,” he cut in, not letting his stare falter, and also sick and tired of keeping his emotions at bay when he had you in front of him. “You disappeared on me. Now you are the one who is doing the post-production of my work. Yet, you aren't even on the papers for the patients.”

“Yes, my colleague asked me to come in for her,” you replied, but your mind was racing at his previously uttered words. He missed you. It was true then. You knew it all along, and he confirmed it now. He liked you back then. Did he still like you now? “But I won't be coming back, don't worry. It was only for today.”

Baekhyun's eyes dropped on the paper in front of him. “I would like you to be the physiotherapist for my patients.”

You frowned and followed his gaze. “You want to change my colleague?”

“Yes,” he replied, his gaze carefully analyzing your reaction. “You belong to one of the best from your sort. So I want you with me. Would you accept it?”

You were seeing him everyday, just like back in university days. He was very busy, many times you caught him studying books and sometimes he came to check up on the exercises and the way you were practicing. He wanted to learn from you, so he asked you many questions, which always made the two patients chuckle. His funny remarks and entertaining commentaries made you laugh so much it hurt your belly and soon enough, he would ask you to come to his office where you would chat a bit longer.

Finally, you saw him in a different light. No enemy. No one to steal your place. Because he was complementing your work and you his. Drinking coffee or tea, you finally told him everything that was happening in your life and why you made the decisions that you made and you carefully explained him the way you saw him at the time.

Annoying.

Stupidly funny, which basically equalled annoying.

Handsome, which basically equalled ugly and disgusting.

Steady handed genius, which basically equalled handsome idiot…

Caring, which meant your rival.

But now, you could read it all backwards, and you would get the results that you saw now, but back then couldn't, blinded by your competitiveness. Funny, steady handed genius, caring, friendly, handsome and manly, and now in his attire, the title of the surgeon he worked so hard for, sexy.

He dared to make the first joke about your shaky hands after many years, and you laughed with him and showed him, that indeed, you were still just as shaky as before. But now you were shaking because of the butterflies he gave you. Oh yeah, shaky all for him. He would kiss away your tremblings whenever he got a glimpse of them... And you just trembled even more.

Seeing things now from a different perspective, you felt ashamed and embarrassed about how you used to behave around him back at university while he liked you.

It was almost two months after you first met at the hospital when he pulled you back into his office as you opened the door and were almost out. He closed it once he had you pressed against the wall next to it and his only approval of his doings was your bright, happy smile when he slowly leaned in and gave you a longing kiss. Smirking, he wanted to pull away, not having other intentions when you grabbed him by his cheeks and brought him back, wanting more than just a peck.

He was frozen for a heartbeat, but once back to his senses, he grabbed you by your hips bringing your bodies closer as he opened your mouth and explored more.

“I might have had a dream about you last night,” you whispered to him, chuckling again and he couldn't help but follow your chuckles because, goodness, this was actually happening. Once again, your sweet lipstick that tasted like strawberries, matched the colour of your cheeks and the stars in your eyes when you looked at him made him want to squeal from happiness. Because he had been dreaming about you all along.

Secretly dating in a hospital full of gossiping nurses was a bit challenging for almost one year. But it became so unbearable and his secret visits at your department went almost unnoticed except the fact that a doctor like HIM had no business at YOUR department. It was always the physiotherapist that came to the surgeon.

“Baekhyun,” you giggled when he once again stepped into the common room of the physiotherapy department. You were just fetching yourself some tea for the short break before heading back to your work. Your colleagues gave you quizzical looks tinted with suspicion, but they had it all confirmed in a way; you two being a thing. It was all over your faces.

“Excuse me, I will have to steal her for a moment. Need to discuss a patient,” he exclaimed shamelessly before waiting for you patiently at the doors as you made your way to him with your cup of tea. Once out in the corridor, he looked around before taking the hot cup out of your hand, putting it on the floor quickly and grabbing you by your waist to give you a huge, loud kiss. You should have fought with him but you were past that stage. Let everyone see.

The college sweethearts, was what you heard in the gossips after you talked to Hana, telling her how you and Baekhyun first met.

Looking up at Baekhyun as he was smiling at you affectionately before leaning in for another kiss, you could confirm that it was true. College sweethearts. And now, lovers.

“I love you,” he whispered into your mouth.

Hugging him, you meant it when you closed your eyes and your lips brushed his ear: “And I love you, my dear.”

Him, the best orthopedic surgeon.

You, the best physiotherapist.

The iconic duo of the hospital.

❤

hope you liked it!

CuriousCat Ask box is also open! Or comments!💕

#baekhyun fanfiction #baekhyun au #baekhyun scenario #baekhyun imagine #baekhyun fluff #baekhyun romance #exo au #exo fic #exo fanfiction #exo ima #baekhyun oneshot #exo oneshot #kpop oneshot #kpop au

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vampire-named-gampire · 4 years

Text

Carry On Countdown - Day 8

Hello! Here’s my fic for the @carryon-countdown. It’s longer than what I’d usually post on tumblr, but I haven’t really decided if I want to continue it or not and I don’t really have the time to decide since uni is kicking my butt this week. It’s un-beta’d so sorry for any grammar mistakes or just general messiness of it

Prompt: Rain Word count: 1669 Rating: Teens and up Summary:

Baz drags Simon out to play football, despite the stormy clouds looming above them.

SIMON

Baz insists that I play football with him. He says it’s so that he doesn’t get out of practice, but I know it’s because he’s trying to assure I get enough exercise. Apparently, it’s good for depression.

I do usually feel a bit better after our games, so I haven’t said no yet. (Even though he beats me every time.) Plus, sometimes it’s easier to compete with him than it is to be soft and do all that romance stuff, so I think it actually helps us. A bit.

I mean, it’s still hard sometimes. Being touched. Being kissed. But football is almost like fighting and we all know fighting makes things easier for me. Besides, Baz looks beautiful on the pitch. And he’s brilliant at football. And when he gets sweaty, he wipes his face in his shirt and I’m usually left staring at the faint trace of muscles in his stomach. (This must be a vampire thing – I’ve never seen him do crunches.) (Maybe he does them in secret.)

I think he’s noticed me staring and he does more of that on purpose now. I’m not complaining. I’ve stopped complaining about our football matches too.

Well, except today. The sky is grey and heavy with clouds and this is England, so it’s definitely going to rain. Baz knows this, yet he’s still dragged me out to the football field. Honestly, when I see him in shorts and a tight, Under Amour turtleneck under his t-shirt, I nearly stop complaining.

Nearly.

“We’re going to get soaked,” I announce as we get out of the car. Somehow, the sky has gotten even darker on our way from my flat to the football field.

“You’re not made of sugar, are you?” Baz says, grabbing his football ball.

“I’m going to leave puddles in your car. You wouldn’t like that.”

“I’ll spell you dry. Or I’ll make you sit on a towel.”

Damn, it was worth a try.

“Look, we have the whole field for ourselves,” Baz says as we pass the squeaky metal door onto the football field. It really is completely empty – usually, there are multiple groups playing at once on one field and it drives Baz up the wall. He says half of the blokes who come here don’t even have a basic grasp of ball control.

“Yeah, because everyone else is reasonable and can see that it’s going to start pouring any minute now,” I huff.

“Listen, if it starts raining, we can always go back. Now come on, warm-up.”

He makes me do warm-ups too. Five laps around the pitch and then some quick stretches. The first time we went, I was near death by the third lap, which is ridiculous, considering I used to fight monsters. (I guess a year of lying on the sofa will do that to you.)

The first time we went, I nearly doubled over at the sight of Baz stretching his calves. That hasn’t changed. My ability to run has. I can now almost keep up with Baz’s human speed, although he does sometimes tap into his vampire powers just taunt me. (As if his long legs weren’t enough.)

Getting better at running makes me feel slightly better about myself. Like my life is moving forward – like I’m actually improving at something. (I’m not. I used to be faster, stronger – I’m merely getting some of myself back.) And it usually helps me sleep.

Once Baz deems us sufficiently warmed up, he passes me the ball.

“What do you say, Snow, do we play across the whole field?” he asks. Sometimes he’ll teach me some technique after warm-up, but today, we’re apparently going straight to the game.

“Okay, but you can’t use your vampire strength.”

“When have I ever used my vampire strength?” Baz feigns being offended. I roll my eyes.

“I could think of a few instances.”

“I can beat you even without the vampire strength, love,” he smiles. “Come on. You can start.”

Playing across the whole field is exhausting. I finally manage to steal the ball from Baz, but it feels like it takes me forever to sprint across the pitch and towards my goal. Baz tries to steal the ball back, but the tip of my tail is pressed against his chest, holding him at distance. Huh. This has never happened before. Usually, I tie my tail around my waist when we play, but that’s uncomfortable so I just untied it when I saw nobody was on the pitch.

Still, it’s helping me. If it wasn’t for my tail, Baz would’ve stolen the ball from me already.

“If I can’t use my vampire strength, you can’t use your dragon parts either,” he calls just as I send the ball flying towards the goal. The net shakes. Score!

“I’m going to let you have that one, just because I know I’ll still beat you,” Baz says, jogging to get the ball.

“I wouldn’t be so sure, darling!” I call after him, even though I am pretty sure he’s going to beat me. He always has.

The first raindrops fall just as we get back into the game.

“Do you want to keep going?” Baz asks as he dribbles the ball, effortlessly avoiding all my attempts of stealing it from him.

“Yes,” I say, trying once again to snatch the ball from him. It’s hard work, especially when I’m also trying to keep my tail in check.

Not even a minute later, it’s full on pouring. My shirt is clinging to me, cooling me down, and Baz’s hair is falling around his face in wet strands. He must be cold, but he keeps playing, confidently leading the ball towards his goal.

I chase behind him, trying to block him, or whatever it is that I should be doing, but the grass is wet and I don’t have posh wanker football shoes like he does, so I end up slipping, knocking both of us over in the process.

He ends up on his back, with me half on top of him.

“Ouch, Snow! This isn’t American football, you’re not supposed to tackle people, you know?” Baz immediately starts complaining.

“It was an accident!” I say, rolling off of him, so that I’m also on my back.

“Troll’s arse, it was. This deserves a penalty kick at least. Maybe two because you got my shirt all muddy,” he laments. I roll my eyes at his theatrics.

“Nobody’s stopping you from getting up and spelling your shirt clean,” I say.

“I am severely injured. I might die any second.”

“Oh, come off it, you’re a bloody vampire,” I laugh.

“So this is how it ends; a Chosen One straight to the chest.”

I’m beginning to get worried, but he lets his head fall in my direction and I see a teasing smile stretched across his face. The tosser is just messing with me. Of course he is.

“You’re a git, you know that?” I growl, grabbing him by his waist and pulling him closer to me. He barely has the time to react before I kiss him.

I’ve kissed Baz before, many times, but snogging on a football field in the middle of a downpour is new. He’s cold – too cold – and I pull him on top of me. Baz makes a sound of surprise against my lips at that and I think he might pull away, so I tangle my hands in his hair, holding him closer. I’ve never touched his hair when it’s wet before. It slips through my fingers with ease and clings to his face.

I think Baz has worked through his surprise now, because he catches my lower lip between his teeth and tugs at it, his hand travelling down my side and settling on my hip. My shirt is so wet there’s almost no friction to his movement and it feels amazing.

I try running my own hands up and down his back and it makes his breath hitch. Moments later, his lips are by my ear, kissing and nipping at my earlobe.

“Is this okay?” Baz whispers, his breath so close to my ear that I can hear him despite the rain. Usually, this is the point where I’d start feeling panicky and uncomfortable, but today is different, for some reason. Maybe it’s the thrill of it all – I mean, kissing in a rainstorm is proper hot. I nod feverishly and I can hear him smirk against my ear before he starts kissing down my neck.

I take the opportunity to slip my hands under his shirt because if I’m feeling confident today, I might as well use it. Baz loves it when I run my hands up and down his stomach, so I do just that. (I don’t do it often enough. Usually, I’m scared.)

His reaction makes me forget why I was ever scared to do so in the first place. He practically melts against me, a small gasp escaping his throat before he comes back up and starts kissing me with even more vigour. It’s so good, it’s so good, it’s so good.

Thunder rumbles in the background and Baz pulls away. I look at him with a puzzled expression.

“Come on, let’s go,” he says, scrambling to his feet.

“What?” I sit up, still trying to comprehend his sudden change of pace, anxiety rising up in my chest. Did I do something wrong?

“Thunder, Snow. We’re in an open field. It’s not safe.”

“Oh.”

He offers me his hand and I let him pull me up. Then he kisses me again, like he can’t resist himself. (He probably can’t.)

“Can we…” I fumble, trying to find my words. I expect Baz to jab at me, but he just waits while I compose my thoughts. (I should snog him more often if it makes him stop being a prick.) “Can we, uh… continue this at home?”

His lips curl into a smirk and he takes my hand.

“You know we can.”

#carry on countdown 2020 #coc 2020 #carry on #wayward son #any way the wind blows #simon snow #tyrannus basilton grimm pitch #baz pitch #snowbaz #snowbaz fic #snowbaz fanfiction #my writing

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mcfreakin-bxtch · 5 years

Text

The Injury

Pairing: The Mandalorian x Reader

Warnings: Smut! Angst, fluff, language, and violence.

Word Count: 4.3k

A/N: I was going to wait to post this but I failed. I listened to “Mary” by Big Thief a lot when writing this, (which is also found in an episode of The Umbrella Academy and bonus points if you can pick out the lyric! My bby Klaus) and I highly recommend just listening to it in general. I also want to give a big shout out to everyone for giving me the confidence to keep going, I love you guys!

The Mandalorian’s Love Series

“We’ll be okay.”

“We will… we will.”

Din knew this day was bound to come. It was supposed to be a job between him and the new gunslinger; Y/N wasn’t ready to fully commit to something this dangerous, he’d let her do small jobs with him, kill a few people if they had to. But not something as dangerous as what they were in for.

…

Y/N was just starting to get used to the explosions. She had been traveling with Din for almost a year now, and at first she was very overwhelmed with the fast pace of the Mandalorian’s life and the action that came with it.

“Nice one liner,” Y/N teased as Din helped her turn the controls back on in the Razor Crest.

He half sighed half chuckled. “Thanks.”

Checking on the giggling baby, she sat back down in her seat with a grin.

…

“Are you sure it’s okay to leave him here?”

Y/N watched as Din tucked in the sleeping Child in his quarters, his hands brushing over him with such a gentle touch that she almost jumped him right then and there.

“He’s asleep.” Was all he said before walking down the ramp.

She contemplated arguing with him, but there was what seemed to be a very nice lady here working on the ship. They wouldn’t be gone long anyway. Still, she felt like an irresponsible parent as she followed after him.

“We won’t be gone long,” she heard him say to Peli Motto. “No one goes into the ship. And no droids.”

Motto scoffed. “Okay okay. No droids. Probably take a little longer then.”

“That’s fine. We’ll be back with your payment.”

Y/N once asked him about his hatred for droids, to which he barely gave her an answer for and left it at that. She knew it was a touchy subject and that it went deep into his roots, but she would wait until he was ready to tell her. Until then, she would just agree to his ‘no droids’ terms.

Tatooine wasn’t such a bad place as Y/N almost expected it to be. The cantina was nicer than most, calmer as well. But she was worried there wouldn’t be much work in that.

“I can help,” a young man said once he heard the Mandalorian ask for a job.

Now Y/N wasn’t so sure of him. He seemed too cocky and arrogant; not that that was a crime, but it was also very dangerous in their line of work. But Din thought he ought to hear what the man had to say anyway.

The young gunslinger, whom they learned was Toro Calican, was an excited hunter, eager to have his name whispered among the best of the best. Din seemed iffy with him as well, but they needed the money for Motto and it was worth a shot. Plus, the kid just wanted to join the guild.

“You don’t understand, Y/N,” Din argued as they were walking back to the ship. “Fennec Shand is dangerous, I mean more dangerous than I am. I can’t risk with it, especially not with the Child.”

Y/N was getting annoyed and Din could clearly see it as she put her hands on her hip; she could be very stubborn when she wanted to be.

“So? I’ve done plenty of dangerous things with you and I’m still here. Besides, you could use all the help you can get, and to be honest, I’m not so sure about your new partner there.”

He let out a frustrated sigh. “I know. And I trust you, I know what you’re capable of. But the answer is still no. Go back to the ship and stay with the baby. If I don’t come back by tomorrow, leave. Take whatever can and just go. Please.”

She’d never heard him beg her like this over a bounty. This Shand assassin must have really been a big deal, and it scared her too. She knew Din was more than capable of handling himself, and hell he had been doing his job just fine on his own. She hated this type of fear. She hated the anxiety and pain that came with it. It could literally kill her.

Y/N sighed heavily through her nose; the repair dock was in view now. “Okay.”

The first thing they did was go into the ship to check on the Child. When they found only his blanket, Din and Y/N went into automatic panic mode, Y/N being faster than the Mandalorian when rushing out of the ship.

“Where is he?” The Mandalorian growled at the droids as Y/N started for the shop.

“Ah I’m awake! I’m awake!”

Y/N turned towards the source, finding both Motto and the baby startled out of a nap. Y/N made a noise of relief, waiting for Motto to come towards them; she needed to calm the pounding of her heart.

“You woke the little guy up,” Motto complained as the baby made noises of displeasure.

“Both of you ought to be ashamed of yourselves, leaving this little one on the ship by himself. Don’t you know how to be parents?”

Y/N opened her mouth to say something, but nothing came out. Din was in shock as well, looking back and forth between the woman and the Child in her arms.

“Thank you,” Din finally said, his voice cracking with gratitude. Y/N nodded after, smiling in gratitude as well.

“I’m going to leave for the money. Y/N is going to stay here with the Child.”

Motto looked back and forth between them, sensing a suspicious but, to Y/N’s relief, keeping her mouth shut.

“Alright.”

Y/N always worried when Din went on a job by himself or without her. Sometimes, as horrible as it sounds, she would think about what would happen if Din did die; she knew he would want her to move on, to take care and protect the baby and just be happy. But she had her doubts about herself; she’d be damaged beyond repair if she lost him.

“You look like you could use a little drink.”

Y/N jumped out of her thoughts, looking up at the woman from her chair. They had gotten down with the repairs not that long ago, watching as night fell and everything became quiet.

“Oh, I don’t think that’s such a good idea,” Y/N chuckled.

“Sure it is,” Motto scoffed. “I’m sure you could use a little break, between that adorable baby and that Mandalorian.”

She couldn’t help but laugh at that. Y/N Y/L/N and her Boys.

“So what exactly is the deal with you two?” Motto asked after a few drinks.

Y/N wasn’t drunk, but she sure did feel a little buzzed. Buzzed enough to move a little slower than usual, and blab and blab away, but not drunk.

“Well,” she drawled. “I lived on my planet without ever leaving it for all my life really until he showed up; like my knight in shining armor! He came through, let me join him to watch over the kid, and here we are!”

Motto giggled with her. “That’s it? C’mon you gotta have more than that. I can see how in love with you are with the man, though I honestly can’t see why. I mean the man can’t even take off his helmet!”

Y/N chuckled, taking a small sip of her drink. She looked next to her at the sleeping baby, smiling softly in thought.

“I know it’s kinda hard to believe,” she spoke finally, keeping the soft tune of the atmosphere. “But when you get to know him you’ll see why; he’s got such a big heart, even if he doesn’t show it right away. I’ve heard some stories of his past before, and he’s changed so much from the man he used to be. It’s a sight to see honestly.”

Motto listened to every word, seeing the Mandalorian now in a whole new light.

“And the kid?”

“That’s a complicated one,” Y/N sighed. “We don’t know much about it really. But I do know that there are a lot of bad people out there looking for him. And they want to do him harm, and we will stop at nothing until we make sure he’s safe.”

Peli smiled thoughtfully at her. “I think you two still have some things to learn about taking care of a child, but I also think you two do love him very much, and I know you will do your best with him.”

Y/N wanted to hug the woman and was about to until that arrogant voice disturbed their peace.

“Alright ladies,” he said, making them both jump; Y/N in a protective and defensive stance while Peli stood in confusion. His blaster was aimed at the Child, making Y/N’s heart do jumping jacks. This wasn’t good at all.

“Where is he?” Y/N demanded, jumping to the worst conclusion, her hand already coming to rest on her blaster. He caught on to this and smirked.

“You don’t have to worry about that sweetness, he’s coming,” Calican teased. “Now you ladies cooperate and do as I say, then the kid lives. Understand?”

Y/N and Peli had no choice but to nod. Calican quickly patted them both down - taking her weapons from her carefully, the gun never shaking in his grasp - and picked up the kid, who immediately started squirming in his grasp; Y/N had to clench her fists to prevent any altercations.

They waited just outside the Razor Crest for the Mandalorian. Y/N wished she hadn’t drank. She didn’t want to risk the Child’s life, especially when the gunslinger kept his eyes specifically on her, watching her every move with a careful eye. She could’ve cried in relief when she heard his voice, worried that the man was lying and was just pulling a sick game on them.

The Mandalorian checked over Y/N, who was only a few feet from him. Once he was satisfied she wasn’t injured, the helmet turned towards the man, who was now aiming his gun at him, the Child still in his arms.

“Mandalorian,” Calican finally said. “Nice to see you finally showed up. Heard all about your little spew with the Guild. Figured I’d finally get accepted when they find out I got the Mandalorian with the target. Maybe a bonus for the woman too.”

Din tensed at this, clutching the blaster in his fist.

“Now throw your blaster away and put your hands behind your head,” Calican ordered.

The Mandalorian obeyed, putting his hands up slowly as Calican handed Peli a pair of handcuffs. Y/N’s arms were getting tired from having them up, and she hoped Din was coming up with a plan just as she was. She saw Peli whisper something to him from behind, and then there was a whizzing sound before the sparks and smoke erupted. Y/N tried to move fast enough, she really did. But the gunslinger was faster in surprise, firing off a few shots. She felt the graze of one on her side, just below her ribs. She cried out, clutching her side with one hand and pulling it away to find dark red blood. She heard another shot, turning in time to see the gunslinger go down.

“Where is the little guy?” She heard Motto ask.

Y/N’s head started swimming, her vision going blurry as she searched for Din. She didn’t see nor hear him rushing towards her, calling out her name as he did.

“It’s just a graze,” she immediately said.

“Y/N, I need to see it,” Din panicked, gently pulling at the hand clutching at the shot. “Please!”

She let him remove her hand and heard him suck in a breath. It was deep, and she was already starting to lose blood. Din was happy that he had the helmet to conceal the tears already threatening to flow.

“Is she okay?” They heard Peli ask, the Child in her arms.

“She’s been hit. Badly. I need to get it treated.”

Din sat Y/N down at the end of the ramp, running into the ship to get their kit. There were a few around stashed around the ship for emergencies, Y/N’s doing of adding more. She tried focusing on her breathing and on calming the baby down, not wanting to scare it. He was reaching for her, babbling and squinting his eyes as he reached.

“I’m okay,” her voice was hoarse, but, to her surprise, it was incredibly steady.

“You are,” Motto confirmed. “We all know he ain’t gonna let you go that easily.”

If Y/N didn’t just get shot, she would have laughed at her attempt to lighten the mood. The Mandalorian came running back out, kneeling down in front of her and helping her gently move her shirt up, spraying becta spray onto the wound. It felt odd but pleasing all the same as it started to heal. He finished with a gel – she couldn’t tell what it was – and a gauze wrap.

“See? I’m alright.” Y/N tried assuring Din. She could sense his anger and disappointment eating at him, coaxing him into silence as he finished his work and stood up.

He took Calican’s pouch, handing it to her as they traded.

“Thank you.” He said.

Motto looked back at Y/N, who gave a tired thumbs up. “Yeah. It was no problem. Took longer because ‘no droids’. But it looks like everything worked out okay.”

The Mandalorian wanted to make a comment at that but refrained from doing so. Instead he nodded and went to help Y/N on her feet. She waved a goodbye to the kind woman before the ramp closed.

There was tension in the stagnant air, no doubt about that. He didn’t say a word to her as he sent the ship into hyperspace, the baby in his seat next to the pilots.

“You need to rest,” he finally said. His voice was hard, and she almost flinched at the tone; he had never used it with her.

She wanted to protest, but she was tired, and figured they would talk later once they all calmed down.

“Okay. You need to rest too though, Din.”

“I will.”

Silence. Y/N hated when they fought or had any small argument. She was always afraid that it’d be too much, too much for both of them; she had seen it happen many times beforehand on her home planet. She had faith in him, and knew that he was better than that, but just like him, the doubts and fears would start to eat her alive. She didn’t think she’d be able to sleep right away, but as soon as her head hit the pillow she was out.

The Mandalorian let out a shaky sigh, finally breaking down. It wasn’t supposed to happen. She was never supposed to get hurt. He wasn’t stupid and neither was she, they knew the risks of her joining him and hell even being near the Child. But to see it happen, to know – or feel – that a part of it was his fault; it was absolutely killing him. He didn’t want to take his anger out on her, especially at her delicate state right now.

…

Y/N woke up feeling worn out but better. Her eyes woke up to a sleeping baby next to her, wrapped up in his blue blanket. She ran the tip of her pointer finger down his little nose and over the gray hair before quietly moving out of the cot, tip toeing as to not wake him up. She went into the refresher, running her hands down her face; the dark circles under her eyes were more prominent but it didn’t feel as it looked. Lifting her shirt up, she inspected the now healed shot, tracing the scar idly as she thought back to that moment. She washed up, checking on the baby before beginning her search for her Mandalorian. She eventually found him in the bottom, cleaning some of his weapons. His body was still just as tense as before.

His body visibly tensed when he heard her walking towards him. Y/N sighed at the sight, running her hand through her Y/H/C hair.

“It wasn’t your fault,” she started. Her voice was a little croaked but was strong with conviction. “I just didn’t move fast enough, that’s it, okay? Nothing to blame yourself over.”

“I think it’s time for you to go back home.”

Y/N’s heart stopped. She felt all color drain from her body, felt the air rush out of her as if she had just gotten punched in the gut. She thought the room was starting to spin as well, that her soul was leaving her body as to escape the harsh reality. This couldn’t be happening.

“W-what?” She stuttered, voice already shaking. “Why? Why would I do that?”

She could see him clench his fist, hear the strain in his voice as he spoke.

“Because this is beginning to be too much. I’m sorry, Y/N. I take full credit and blame for… for everything.”

She started to shake her head at him, anger now building up in her.

“No,” she growled. “No you can’t do this to me. You can’t after… after everything we’ve been through! You can’t just make it out like everything is practically perfect between us and then just throw me away when something goes wrong! It’s not right!”

She couldn’t stop, tears building up behind her throat. “It was just one guy, one mistake and we’re fine.”

He huffed out a dry chuckle, slamming his weapon down on the table but aggressively turning around.

“I’m the one who trusted the man, even when you didn’t. I should’ve listened to you and I didn’t and it could’ve costed your life.”

“It was just a graze -.”

“- I let you leave your home when I should’ve told you to stay, find someone better for you that wouldn’t put your life in constant danger. How else am I supposed to feel?”

“It could happen anytime, Din. And I knew that before stepping foot into your ship. I knew it when I always dreamed about leaving and traveling. That’s just life! And I have never been more alive since I’ve met you, and nothing, and I do mean nothing, would ever change my mind.”

Din stood up then, towering over her fuming. “It’s not enough. It’s not enough because I can’t live without you. Don’t you see that? Yesterday it was a graze, but if what if next time it’s shot to the head, or a knife in the heart? I can’t stand the idea of you getting hurt or worse. Of having to explain to the baby on why you’re not with us anymore. I’m-.”

He was finally breaking down, unable to hold it in any longer. Y/N was clinging to every word, mouth agape and tears gathering behind her eyes.

“I’m not ready to lose you,” he finally whispered. The modulator was known for its craft of concealing his voice, but this, this was so much. She could hear and feel the emotions rolling off him, each pressing second revealing carefully hidden revelations.

She hugged him, and despite all the armor he wore on his person, she could feel him trembling in her arms, wrapping his arms around her waist.

“I know,” she said, trying to control her quivering voice. “Trust me Din, I feel the exact same way about you. And I understand why you’re scared and angry, I would be too. It was a close call but-,”

She placed his hand on her chest, his gloved hand resting over her beating heart. “I’m still here. Alive. We have that now, we have another day. And yeah, any day could be our last together, but I’m not leaving without a fight. You’re stuck with me,” she tried to tease lightly, to ease some of the pressure and anxiety off his shoulders.

After a moment he unwrapped himself from her and grabbed her hand, leading her into another small quarter with a smaller cot, but it was good enough; they didn’t need the space. He turned off the lights as he led her to the cot, Y/N only being able to see his shadowy figure; she started to breathe heavily from all of the overwhelming emotions hitting her all at once. She suspected the same thing was happening to him based on his sporadic movements as he started at his armor.

“Take off your clothes,” he ordered gruffly. A pool of arousal flooded between her legs at the command and immediately got to work.

Din pounced on her as soon as he was undressed – it was the fastest she had ever seen him unclothe – she had barely taken off her pants before he attacked her lips with his, teeth clashing as he used his body to push her downs. She could already feel his hard length rub against her stomach, a bead of pre- cum trailing up and down her stomach as he did so. She moaned into the kiss and gasped when he practically ripped the rest of her clothes off, allowing him to ease his tongue to dance with hers. His lips traveled down her neck, biting down harshly at her sweet spot, causing Y/N to moan loudly and arch her back into him. He groaned as he moved down, biting down at her chest as well and her breasts; he took her nipple into her mouth, nipping gently at it as she ran her fingers through his soft, wavy hair. He kissed all the way down to her dripping and aching heat.

“Please,” Y/N begged sweetly, breathlessly. “That can wait until later. I need you now.”

Normally the Mandalorian would argue, but he was eager to obey, chasing her lips and wrapping her up in his arms tightly.

Y/N could feel every emotion and message through every kiss, every touch on her skin. Soft kisses that said I cherish you. Longing kisses that said I missed you, I will always miss you. Heated kisses that said I need you I want you. It was easy for her to abandoned herself to the kisses, the meanings behind them. She clung onto his back as he slid easily into her, him gasping into her mouth as she struggled to keep her eyes open, staring into the dark figure.

I love you I love you I love you.

Din didn’t need to tell her, she felt it with every shift of his hips, with every kiss he laid on her. With the way he held her, as if he was afraid she was going to disappear. The way he seemed to be struggling to keep his composure, forehead refusing to leave hers as their breaths intertwined. His body was shaking with all the overwhelming senses, and she thought herself she was going to implode from his love; it was as hot as fire, as soft as feathers, as sweet as dessert.

“I love you,” Y/N groaned into his ear. “Stars I love you, Din. So much.”

She was close to tears from her admission and from the pleasure itself. She felt him shudder at her declaration and pushed into her faster, Y/N unable to keep her noises of pleasure at bay. His hand – which was sure to leave a bruise on her hip – travelled down to her thigh to hike her leg up higher around his waist, allowing him to hit at a deeper spot, making her see white behind her lids.

“Oh!” She gasped as he went harder, his grunts bringing her closer and closer to her release.

A hand wrapped itself tightly in her hair, not enough to hurt, but enough to reign himself in as he, too, was getting closer.

“One day I’ll tell you everything,” he said breathlessly. “I’ll tell you fucking everything. I’ll tell you how you’re the fucking best thing that has ever happened to me. How you’re too good for this world, about how you deserve – shit – the entire world. I’ll tell you about how badly I want to show you everything I am, to take off my helmet and be done with the creed. How it eats me up when I can’t give you everything you fucking deserve.”

She didn’t want him to stop, his words only fueling her love and desire for him. He brought his hand down between them, rubbing her clit. She let out a chocked gasp, nails racking down his hardened back.

“I’ll tell you all of this and more more thoroughly, on a day when there’s no danger, no monsters around. When you can finally see me. When my heart won’t play hide and seek with yours. I have to believe that we can have that because you believe it. I will never stop fighting for you, Y/N Y/L/N.”

Gods this was too much. Her velvety walls clenched around his cock, stuttering around it as they both moaned through their releases. He didn’t make any moves of disconnecting his body from hers and she was content with that. She rubbed her hand up and down his sweaty back as they caught their breaths, their chests moving up and down in sync. Tears did then fall from her eyes, but they were happy ones.

Finally Din moved his head from the crook of her neck, cupping her cheek and kissed her. His lips were slightly chapped still but softer this time. She made a noise of discomfort when he slowly pulled out of her, him giving her thigh an apologetic tap as he went to gather a wet cloth to clean them up with. She was expecting him to get dressed after, but instead he laid down next to her, pulling her body into his, arms wrapped around each other with the tips of their noses pressed together.

Y/N still couldn’t see his face in the dark room, but she felt as though she had already seen all of him. She didn’t need to see his face to love him, to know that their love was real and true. She smiled at the thought and buried her head in his chest as she slowly fell back asleep to his hand running through her hair.

Tags: @momc95, @treehousemagicblog, @riverquartzuniverse, @beepbeepyabitch, @smol-flower-kiddo, @harps-for-days, @teenagedirtbagg2, @goththespian

#the mandalorian #the mandalorian x reader #the mandalorian imagines #the mandalorian smut #din djarin #din djarin x reader #din djarin imagines #star wars #disney plus #pedro pascal #the child #baby yoda #peli motto #din djarin smut

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iceshard1011 · 4 years

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Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Sanders Sides (Web Series) Rating: General Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders/Deceit | Janus Sanders Characters: Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders, Deceit | Janus Sanders, Logic | Logan Sanders, Morality | Patton Sanders, Anxiety | Virgil Sanders Additional Tags: Angst with a Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, Self Confidence Issues, Platonic Relationships, Pre-Relationship, Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders/Deceit | Janus Sanders Angst, Sympathetic Deceit | Janus Sanders, janus is somft, Deceit | Janus Sanders is a Sweetheart, roman needs so many cuddles (as per usual), Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders Needs a Hug, Anxiety | Virgil Sanders is a Good Friend, they all love each other okay, possibly hinted future roman/virgil/janus?, Healing, ‘roman genuinely fell for janus before he realised he was being used’ hc squad raise your hand Summary:

Roman doesn't think organising a movie night should be this hard. Janus isn't sure that that's the issue.

2.4k word fic below :)

His first mistake, Roman believed, was letting newfound confidence get to his head. He could consider blaming Nico, and the well-started friendship he and Thomas were gaining. If he jumped through enough hoops, he could probably blame Virgil, for his quiet support and encouragement throughout the past few weeks.

Roman didn’t want to do either of that, though. He loved Virgil, and he was quite sure he liked Nico a whole lot too. Blaming them would not be fair nor helpful. Being practical was the best option.

Roman supposed thinking that way made a lot of sense, given whose door he was standing in front of, fighting with himself to knock.

Do it, he hissed at himself. It’s not that hard.

Plus, this was Logan, of all sides. More than enough times, Roman had certainly been offended and sometimes even hurt by the logical side and what he often had to say, but as of recently... Roman wrung his hands together. Roman hadn’t been a particularly dependable friend, either.

You owe him.

The spike of guilt that sent jolting through his arms propelled his hand forward to knock solidly against the door.

The door opened without much of a pause — Logan had always been organised and timely, not something that Roman could say for himself — and Roman was being looked at with mildly disguised contempt. Nothing new, there.

“Hey, Specs,” he said with a trying grin and small wave.

Logan straightened his tie. “How can I help you, Roman?” His voice was crisp. Colder than usual. Roman tried not to feel intimidated.

“I just... Well, I thought that we haven’t had a movie night in quite some time.”

Logan did not respond. Roman continued.

“And, you know, we have some popcorn that needs to be eaten.”

Logan did not leap forward to correct him that popcorn kernels that were packaged to be microwaved did in fact not expire or hold a due date to be consumed.

“I also thought we could probably eat some pizza, too, because,” Roman laughed, “who doesn’t like pizza, right?”

Logan did not laugh in return. In fact, he barely reacted at all, beyond a slight, irritated twitch of his eyebrows. Roman ducked his head, then, feeling suitably chastened.

“Figured… it would have been a fun idea,” he finished in a lame mumble. He waited for Logan’s door to close, or to be frigidly turned away. Instead, there was a quiet hint of a sigh, and Roman glanced up. The logical side had lost his mask of frosty indifference, but there were still edges around his eyes that looked dangerous. His shoulders had relaxed, though, and when he met Roman’s gaze, the creative side felt a little more welcome to be talking with his friend.

“I will be downstairs at seven o’clock, then,” Logan said. Roman lit up.

“Brilliant!” he said, a little too loudly, and lowered his voice. He nodded vigorously, grinning. “See you then!”

Logan paused for a thoughtful moment, before replying, “See you then, Roman,” and closing his door with a gentle click.

Roman turned and almost happily skipped down the hallway until he realised which door he had to head to next. He swallowed back any hesitance before it could creep into his muscles and halt him in his steps, and knocked on the light blue wood.

“Coming!” called Patton’s high, cheery voice from inside. Roman wondered if he was faking again today. The moral side had reverted back to repressing a lot of his less-than-ideal feelings, especially after tension in Thomas’ mind had skyrocketed. With the majority of Thomas’ sides suffering from the current events in his life, Patton had taken on the role of being the one source of optimism and happiness again. Roman wondered if it was for everyone else’s sake or his own, at this point.

The door swung open to Patton’s beaming smile. It looked a little less force than the last time Roman had seen him. How many days ago was that?

“Oh.” Patton’s breath rushed out of him, but before his disappointment could pierce Roman, he was smiling again, tremulous, his eyes slightly shiny. “Hey, kiddo.”

“Hi, Pat,” Roman murmured, then steeled himself. “Pizza and popcorn and movies for dinner at seven, if— if you wanted.”

Patton blinked then lit up like a Christmas tree.

(Fitting, Roman thought mildly.)

“Oh, that’s a great idea, Roman!” he said, and Roman felt his heart flutter happily. He wasn’t sure if Patton hated him yet, or still, but the look he was giving Roman made him think that maybe he hadn’t completely ruined his relationship with the moral side. He smiled.

Patton leant forward for a moment, as if he wanted to hug him, but then thought better of it. Roman instinctively wanted to cry a little, at that, but the cautious but loving hand-squeeze he got in place made things a little better.

“I’ll be there,” Patton promised.

Roman nodded, stepping back once Patton let him go. “Good, then. Uh, yeah, good.” He turned to head down the hall but then paused and glanced back. Patton tilted his head imploringly. “I just, uh... good job, the other day. With, uh— when Thomas rehearsed what he was going to say to Nico, in the public bathroom.” He shrugged. “Even though... you know, he never actually got to say any of it.”

Patton looked surprised, but he recovered. His smile was gentler, this time, more genuine. “Yeah. Nico’s… Nico’s something special.”

Roman looked down and thought of sparkling eyeshadow. He hid a smile. “Yeah, he is.”

The final stop Roman had in mind before moving back downstairs to help with the construction of an epic pillow fort made Roman feel as if the floor was not beneath his feet.

He hadn’t bothered to think about trying to contact his brother. If Remus heard what was happening and wanted to join, he would anyway. It wasn’t much of Roman’s business. This whole idea had come to life when Roman had mumbled something about family nights, and Virgil, who had been lying on Roman’s bed while the creative side was splayed across the bedroom floor, had pointed out that it sounded like a great idea. This, unfortunately, only left…

Roman curled in fingers into fists to keep his hands from trembling. It didn’t work. Even as he raised a fist to knock on the door, he was quivering so much he feared it wouldn’t be loud enough.

He gritted his teeth and pushed through it, pounding on the door. The resulting gentle thunks didn’t seem to match up.

The voice from inside was muffled. “The door is locked.”

Roman paused. He almost turned to head back downstairs before he wanted to smack himself in the forehead and hated both himself and Janus for it. After the handle was twisted cautiously, the door creaked open. Roman peered into the room, unwilling to go in much further. He could vaguely see Janus sitting at his desk, back turned to the door. When he heard the door open without greeting or the sound of entrance, he sighed. Roman wondered if he expected a prank from Remus.

The deceitful side stood and turned for the door, but froze when his gorgeous — no, no — eyes found Roman’s face.

“You are not Patton,” he said. Roman tried to keep his expression neutral. Sorry to disappoint, he thought but didn’t say. He pulled away from the door as Janus approached.

“Family movie night,” Roman said. He stared past Janus’ shoulder, unwilling to look at the expressions dancing over the deceitful side’s elegant features, or the questions in his glowing eyes. “Downstairs. Seven o’clock.”

There, he told himself, and felt his rigid shoulders relax slightly. You’ve done it. Now he could escape back downstairs to the comfort of warm hoodies and murmured affirmations.

He didn’t get a chance to pull back.

Soft gloved fingers were curling, impossibly gently, around Roman’s own trembling hands, and the prince wanted to scream. Janus spoke, and for a moment, Roman thought he was being lied to again.

“I hope you’re angry,” Janus whispered, and Roman fought against the tremors in his hands. He wondered if Janus could feel them. He hoped not. “I hope you hate me. I hope that’s what this,” he squeezed Roman’s hands, and the creative side almost collapsed, “is. I hope to Thomas that you’re not scared of me.”

Roman didn’t meet his eyes. He stared miserably at the floor, dutifully ignoring Janus’ hypnotizing gaze burning holes into his forehead. Roman wanted him to let go. He wanted Janus to look away. He wanted to curl up in Janus’ arms and never leave.

He couldn’t answer. His silence spoke for itself.

Janus let go of one of Roman’s hands. He didn’t know what the snake was doing at first until he felt the barely-there whisper of gloved fingers caressing against his cheek. He flinched away. Janus recoiled.

“Roman,” he said quietly. Roman bit his lip. “Roman, can you look at me, my prince?” Roman closed his eyes.

A shaky sigh, and those hands clasped Roman’s again. When Janus spoke again, his voice was firm, but not uncaring.

“Roman Creativity Sanders.”

Roman still went tense.

“I know I’ve wronged you. You know that you have also wronged me, albeit on a much smaller scale. I doubt there will be a day I don’t regret hurting you.” Roman swallowed the whine beginning to lodge in his throat. Janus’ voice dropped to a whisper. “No matter what happens between the mindscape, between us,” Roman felt a cool forehead pressed to his, “I promise that you will never need to fear me.”

Roman’s eyelids fluttered. Janus’ breath warmed his lips. Roman worked his jaw a few times before he managed to speak.

“I fear what you’re capable of.” Roman wanted to hate how his voice cracked. He couldn’t.

Janus’ breathing shuddered painfully.

“In all honesty,” he whispered back, “me too.”

Finally, Roman opened his eyes again. He still didn’t look up. “Really?”

“Sometimes, yes,” Janus murmured. Roman sniffed, though he wasn’t sure why. Was he crying?

“I don’t want to be afraid of you,” Roman said, and it sounded like an almost-sob.

“I know,” Janus soothed. Roman had to actively fight the urge that told him to press himself against the deceitful side. “I know, darling. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry, my prince.”

Roman bit his lip to keep himself from saying anything else stupid. Janus rubbed his thumb along the groves in Roman’s hands. He didn’t stay composed long after that.

“I’m sorry,” Roman blurted, the words spilling from his mouth like vomit. (That was a particularly Remus-like thought, he managed to realise, before it was overtaken by chants of evil twin evil twin evil twin). “I’m so sorry, it’s— I—”

Janus tried to hush him, moving his hands to rub Roman’s shoulders (except his hands were still squeezing Roman’s, and how did that work?) but Roman was blabbering over him.

“It’s all my fault, everything, Thomas, Patton, I— he should have gone to the call back, but I stopped him and—”

“Roman, my dear, please—”

“It’s a gorgeous name,” Roman babbled, and Janus paused, surprised. “It’s beautiful, truly, I— I’m so stupid—”

“Stop that.” Janus’ tone was snappish. Roman recoiled. A third pair of pairs moved to cup his face. “This is not your fault. None of this is your fault. Do you hear me?”

Roman couldn’t speak.

“Tell me, sweetheart,” Janus coaxed. “Tell me it’s not your fault.”

“I can’t,” Roman whispered.

It was silent. Roman wondered if Janus was getting sick of him, if he wanted to stop trying and go back into his room.

“Then I’ll stay with you,” murmured Janus, “until you can.” Roman trembled in his arms. “If you’ll have me, that is.”

“Please,” Roman whispered, and Janus ducked his head, as if trying to meet his eyes. “I mean— I— yes, yes, please, I—”

Janus’ — multitude of — arms encircled him further, pulling him forward to rub at his back and comb fingers through his hair and stroke his face. He hushed and hummed, his voice vibrating through his chest where Roman had rested his forehead.

Roman didn’t know how long the hug lasted, but eventually he felt the gnawing worry of what Virgil would be thinking if he didn’t return downstairs soon.

He leant back. Janus’ arms loosened compliantly but didn’t let go completely.

“What is it, my prince?” Janus asked, rubbing Roman’s shoulders.

“I should get back to Virgil,” Roman said, but his voice was strangely hoarse. He expected Janus to recoil, or grow tense, or even for his voice to betray hints of hurt. Instead, he only gifted Roman with a gentle smile. Roman didn’t look further up than his lips.

“Of course,” Janus said. “We wouldn’t want him to panic unnecessarily.” Roman tried to smile back but failed miserably. In return, Janus ran a thumb along his jawline. “Don’t try, sweetie. It’s okay. You don’t need to lie to me.”

Roman nodded, suddenly holding back tears.

“Would you like me to stay with you?” Janus asked, and Roman couldn’t understand why he was being so kind. After what Roman had done? Why wasn’t he being yelled at, snapped, insulted, shoved away?

“Not right now,” Roman said, and had to clear his throat to try to not whisper. “But… tonight…?”

“I’ll be there.” Janus nodded. “Save me a spot,” he added with a smirk. Somehow, it didn’t make Roman feel as if he was the victim of malicious flirting.

Roman nodded back and started to back up. Janus pulled back, his fingers lingering against Roman’s for a moment before retracting completely. Roman opened and closed his mouth a few times before he realised that he didn’t actually know what he wanted to say. He turned to make for the stairs.

“Roman?” Janus called after him. He paused obediently. “I’m not being true to my function when I tell you that: your bravery astounds me.”

Roman mentally paused, then, too, taking his time to pick that apart. Once he worked it out, he turned, his eyes wide. His gaze met Janus’. He couldn’t smile, but he knew Janus could see the gratitude in his bright eyes.

Janus winked at him, and it wasn’t flirtatious or mocking and it didn’t make Roman feel like he couldn’t stand. The yellow door closed, and Roman felt like he was filled with warm sunbeams. Virgil wouldn’t ask when he returned downstairs, quieter, but in a much happier mood than having left, but he’d study Roman in the corner of his eye until he was reassured that he was alright.

And that night, if Janus arrived, a little after Logan and Patton but before Remus, and inserted himself on the couch beside Roman to idly play with his hair while Roman melted under his touch, well, no one was going to comment on it.

#sanders sides #roceit #roman sanders #Janus Sanders #prinxiety #virgil sanders #patton sanders #logan sanders #angst with a happy ending #romangst #cross posted on ao3 #platonic prinxiety

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