steenmcneil0-blog

[maxwell-grant]

PIZZA TOWER Characters ranked by how good they actually are at making pizza:

Gustavo: 5/10, 6/10 if he really puts his back into it. 9/10 if he’s making chocolate pizza which he doesn’t anymore, since it’s bad for Brick

In theory he SHOULD be the best pizzamaker of the bunch, unlike Peppino he clearly isn’t undergoing ten mental breakdowns per minute and he’s got an actual apron, plus he’s the only one we see delivering pizzas to satisfied customers in-game in the Gnome Forest. But since nothing in the game currently seems to indicate he has a pizza business, I’m going with a headcanon that Gustavo actually specializes in pastries and sweets, which is why he can seemingly keep himself in the Freezer level where all pizzas freeze solid. He does enjoy eating pizza, but Brick eats all the cheese in the house before he can even think about making one for himself.

Mr Stick: 2/10

Mr Stick has been subsisting on cheap takeout for decades now and cannot be trusted near an oven, or near a grill, or near a kitchen period, Peppino just lets him into his to keep him away from the cash register. If you ask him to make a pizza, he will charge a stupidly high amount just for heating up frozen calabrese. Still ranked higher than other characters only because he probably still makes pizza that’s marginally edible, as he definitely won’t want to risk a lawsuit by making you sick.

Pepperman: 8/10 if you really like peppers, 1/10 if you have a pepper allergy or just don’t like them

Pepperman point-blank refuses to be anything other than completely and totally excellent at everything he sets out to do, others not agreeing with his vision of what excellence is (mainly himself) is quite frankly not his problem, and he ESPECIALLY refuses to let himself be outdone by that wretched brute of a chef. Pepperman taught himself pizza-making out of spite purely so he could outdo Peppino, and he’s actually kinda great at it? Spite IS the perennial driving force of most of Pizza Tower’s characters after all. But obviously he doesn’t know, and doesn’t care to learn, about making any kind of pizza that isn’t stuffed full of peppers. If he’s feeling charitable, he might bake you a pizza with his face on it, and then throw a tantrum if you defile it by eating it (only HE can eat his own face).

Vigilante: 1/10.

Vigi’s family business seems to specialize in dairy and I think for the most part he sees pizza as cheap grub for city slickers (getting beat up by Peppino was kind of a wound to his pride), the whole idea just kinda abominable. He’s also a sentient pile of cheese who wears dirty gloves all day, if he did try to make a pizza, it would probably taste like dust or gunpowder or even have bits of him in it. That being said, he throws a MEAN barbecue, if you can talk him into changing his gloves you should get him near a grill immediately.

The Noise: -100/10

Noise is not legally allowed to be in most pizza establishments by court order, and the Domino’s lawsuits were a massive pain to settle as is. The Noise just does not cook, period, but luckily for him he can eat basically anything. He’s paid to advertise food products and NTV has personalized energy drinks, but his main diet consists entirely of tequila and cigarettes 24/7, and dozens of doctors have diagnosed his insides as some kind of freakish medical emergency that should take effect but never will. He’s like Mr Burns, it just all cancels each other out.

Noisette: lmao good luck

Going by her comics in the wiki, Noisette is just completely incapable of making anything that isn’t sweets even when she tries, and the fact that she hangs around The Noise makes it so that she has no sensible parameter whatsoever for what’s edible or what’s gonna give someone explosive diarrhea. She does run a coffee shop with at least some customers in the cast, she’s probably fairly good at baking, but if you ask her to make a pizza, the best you can possibly hope for is that she just makes you unusually large crepes, and hope you don’t hear an ambulance in the distance before eating.

Fake Peppino: ?????

He’s about as good as Peppino, ironically enough, but it’s a 50/50 on whether you enjoy eating his pizza or his pizza enjoys eating you, but hanging around Peppino and the others at minimum has made the third outcome, that is him eating both you and the pizza, statistically less likely.

Pizzahead: 7/10 at first, score gets lower everytime you eat it again

He SELLS decent pizza, is the thing, but obviously he never has to make any of it himself, not when he has all these countless food businesses and mascots and cooks bending to his whim after he enslaved John and took over the tower. “Being good” at making pizza is a laughable concern to him, when he frankly never even has to try, when he can just sleep during your escape sequences while everyone else has to do the hard work. The entirety of the background in Don’t Make a Sound is a testament to his catastrophic carelessness, you literally find boxes saying the monsters were mail ordered by him, and how little consequences matter to him (I don’t buy the idea that he’s driven by any kind of jealously towards Peppino, so much as he just targeted Peppino mainly because he could).

Pizzahead’s pizza is the kind of pizza that you get hooked in at first, and then makes you feel kinda empty or sick afterwards after a point and makes you think you probably should have eaten something else, but you’re still coming back another day or week when you have no energy or money or time to cook or buy a decent meal, so pizza it is again, and it keeps tasting marginally greasier and shittier and more depressing everytime until at some point you can’t smell the damn thing without wanting to vomit, and you swear off pizza entirely until you wind up back there again and, hey, it’s tolerable this time, and then the process begins again, go ahead, eat Pizzahead's product, wageslave, maybe you’ll start liking it again soon enough, he makes all the dollars and you make a dime and that's why you vomit on company time.

Gerome and John: 10/10

Gerome is probably the only character in-game who keeps a clean kitchen considering his job, and John is some kind of weird god with teleporting powers and sub-dimensions tied to him, and also the secret ingredients Gerome has the keys to wind up resurrecting John, but mostly I think it’d be funny if the characters who would be the absolute best at making pizza would also be the ones who would most reasonably never want to have anything to do with pizza ever again. I like to imagine The Tower Brothers having these miracle recipes and magic touch that both Peppino and Pizzahead desperately want, able to make the most unfathomably delicious Anton-Ego-flashback-inducing pizzas ever conceived, pizza that tastes the way you thought it tasted as a kid but actually much better, and nobody will ever realize it and they will never even touch a pizza again after it ruined their lives and home.

Peppino:

5/10. 6/10, if he really puts his back into it.

Yeah, it’s okay, Peppino’s probably an okay chef. Peppino as a chef is kinda like Mario and plumbing: you know it’s what he’s supposed to do, he sells an identity tied up to it, but you never actually see him do it, you see him doing literally everything except his job and you just kinda have to assume that he's good enough at it. Peppino’s pizzas are probably the most normal thing about him, and maybe the only normal thing about him, really.

He does manage to convince the Bosses to not kick his ass in exchange for free pizza, which means said pizza has gotta be at least somewhat tasty, but also, his place is a dump in the middle of nowhere, he can’t afford proper kitchen wear, he scavenges ingredients in the wild without hygiene concerns and getting his greasy hands all over them, he doesn’t have any staff and runs himself ragged doing everything solo, everything he touches tends to be destroyed in some fashion, he has zero patience, and by now he’s gotta have some kind of pizza-related trauma or several hundred after everything that the game put him through.

I kinda like to think Peppino, in spite of everything stacked against him and how fiercely he fought to defend his business, is ultimately a mediocre but decent chef, who happens to be an unstoppably gifted wrecking ball of a fighter (and talented dancer), who really just wants to keep being a chef in peace, and peace is the last thing he ever gets.

[goldvenuslvrs]

Mission: Get Kiara a Girlfriend

Summary: Kiara Carrera and Y/N Y/L/N are in love, but they seem to be the only ones that aren't aware of that fact. thankfully, Sarah Cameron is a woman on a mission - get Kiara a girlfriend

Pairing: Kiara Carrera x fem!plus sized!reader

Word Count: 2.7k

Warnings: jealous!kie, the pogues in their scheming era

Author's Note: my old writing was legit ass so i decided to rewrite this and just fyi all reader characters are plus sized, might rewrite a few more of my early imagines bc i reckon i can improve them a bunch <3

GIF by obxfix

Sarah Cameron loved her friends.

She especially loved Kiara Carrera. 

During their time apart, Sarah had forgotten what it felt like to have Kiara Carrera as a friend. She was fierce and determined and, most of all, stubborn as a mule, which is why the current status of your and Kiara’s relationship didn’t come as a shock to her. 

If there was one thing she knew about Kiara, it was that she never wanted to risk a friendship for the possibility of romance. It was the reason she enforced the ‘no pogue on pogue macking’ rule so heavily. 

Sarah hopped off her bike and made her way to the deck of John B’s. She rolled her eyes affectionately at the pair of girls on the couch. They were completely wrapped up in each other and it didn’t seem like you noticed the boys sitting around you, let alone Sarah’s entrance. It was only John B’s happy exclaim of “Sarah!” that brought the two of you out of your little bubble.

You pulled yourself out of Kiara’s arms and moved to sit next to her instead to give Sarah room to sit, although neither of you seemed happy with it. 

John B had been more than happy to fill her in on the kiara-and-y/n situation as soon as they had started dating; according to him, the two of you had been lowkey flirting and tiptoeing around each for as long as he could remember.

After she had been subjected to watching the longing looks and quick glances when you thought the other wasn’t looking, Sarah had officially had enough.

Sarah decided that something needed to be done. It was tiring and, frankly, sad to watch you and Kiara pretend you didn’t have feelings for each other. 

An idea came to her as she watched the pair of you attempt to keep yourself from holding onto each other.

“I’m getting a drink,” Sarah announced out of nowhere, standing up and pointedly ignoring the doubtful look her boyfriend was giving her. She caught JJ’s gaze and tilted her head towards the door, “Give me a hand.” It wasn’t a request.

“Yes, ma’am,” He muttered.

“JJ-”

“You’re hot Sarah but I can’t do that to my boy,” He said as soon as they entered the kitchen. He jumped up onto the countertop and picked up a day-old piece of pizza, wolfing it down. “Has he pissed you off or something? Is it your birthday present? I told him not to get you that-”

“There’s nothing wrong with John B!” She scolded and crossed her arms. 

“Debatable but continue.”

“JJ!” She shook her head and sighed. “We need to do something about those two.” She pointed towards the door. They could see through the window that you had returned to your place in Kiara’s arms and you both looked content with the arrangement.

He huffed in response. “You think we haven’t thoughts of that already? I’ve tried, Pope’s tried, even John B has but nothing gets through to them. It’s better to just leave them to it, they’ll figure it out eventually.”

“Not good enough,” She insisted. “If we don’t do anything about it, they’ll be in their thirties and still pining over each other. Besides, when you tried before, you were missing one very important piece.”

“Yeah? And what’s that?”

“Me,” She said, a strong undercurrent of ‘duh!’ in her tone. “I’ve played matchmaker for tons of people and I have a 100% success rate. Don’t you want them to be happy?”

JJ jumped off the counter and swung the door to the fridge open, pulling out a small bottle of water. “Obviously I do but I’m telling you that it’s not gonna work.”

“What did you guys try last time?”

“We basically did what we did to you and Kie but that didn’t do anything really, they just hung out. John B suggested that we set them up on blind dates with each other but when they saw it was just them, they invited us along and we couldn’t exactly say no. I tried the whole ‘hitting on Kie in front of Y/N’ thing but she just got all quiet and didn’t talk to me for like a week,” He pouted. “Longest week of my life, by the way.”

Sarah nodded, pursing her lips in thought. “Alright then, so we’ll try that last one again. We’ll just have to switch it up.”

He tilted his head to the side, “Huh?”

She pushed herself up onto the kitchen counter, opposite where JJ was sitting, and continued to detail the plan, “Last time, you tried flirting with Kie, right? That’s where you went wrong, Y/N got jealous and insecure but she’s not the confrontational type but Kie is so this time, flirt with Y/N instead but make it more believable, no corny pickup lines.”

“Corny?” He was indignant. “I never say corny-”

“Just,” Sarah said, clearly impatient. “Make a few flirty comments here and there. The rest of us will work on Kie.”

“What are we working on?” John B, Pope and Cleo were in the entrance to the kitchen, looking particularly perplexed. 

John B narrowed his eyes at his girlfriend and raised his eyebrows, looking unimpressed, “Are you scheming again?”

“No!”

“Yes, she is,” JJ huffed and jumped down from the counter, “Control your woman!”

Sarah couldn’t bring herself to sit still, instead choosing to swing her legs and tap her fingers on the tops of her thighs, “We were just-”

“She! She was just!” JJ interrupted frantically, pointing at her and crossing his arms over his chest, “ I want no part of this, I’d rather not face Kie’s wrath again.”

“We,” Sarah maintained whilst sending JJ a loaded stare. “Are planning what we’re going to do about the two love birds in there. It’s going to work, I promise, I’ve done this plenty of times.”

“Oh, really?” Pope asked sarcastically. “You’ve set up one of the most stubborn people on the island with one of the most oblivious people on the island before, have you? What makes you think this time is going to be any different? It’s just going to end up with them being pissed off at us again, the only difference is that you’ll have to suffer through their moping as well.”

Cleo shook her head at her boyfriend’s dramatics, pulling a beer can out of the fridge, “The man’s got a point.”

John B nodded, “They don’t like people meddling in their weird relationship, especially Kie.”

“I know what I’m doing,” She turned to face JJ, “I need you to up the flirting with Y/N, not just when Kie’s around, make sure you do it all the time so she doesn’t catch on.”

The others exchanged a series of sceptical looks. Sarah’s plan seemed pretty solid in theory but none of them had the desire to risk the anger of either of the girls. Even Cleo, who hadn’t been around for the previous plans, could tell that there would be pretty dire consequences if they failed. 

While your anger was more of the silent-whilst-plotting-a-murder type, Kiara was more likely to drown them and/or restrict their joint and alcohol consumption, which in JJ’s eyes was just as bad, if not worse.

“Sarah-” 

“Just, I don’t know,” She sighed, exasperated. “Follow my lead or stay out of the way and JJ, do your thing,” She clapped and rubbed her hands together devilishly before walking past them into the living room.

The sight she was greeted with when she entered made her heart melt.

The two girls were no longer where they had been left, they had migrated from the floor in front of the couch to the couch itself but they were still too wrapped up in one another to notice that the others had left to begin with, let alone that they had returned. 

“Are we watching this or not?” You asked, nodding towards the TV which had the menu screen of ‘The Black Phone’ loaded up. 

“Depends,” JJ launched himself onto the couch next to you with a grin on his face and threw his arms around your shoulder, “Can I hold you if I get scared?”

Kiara pursed her lips in annoyance and narrowed her eyes at him. “I don’t think that’s going to be necessary, JJ, just cuddle Pope instead.”

“Um, dude,” John B announced, “Go get them, you might want to take Y/N with you.”

Sarah inwardly groaned, they needed to work on his lying abilities because this was just painful.

Kiara’s head shot up from where it was tucked into your neck, and her arms wrapped around your waist and gripped you tighter. Her eyes were set in a glare that landed on John B, making him fight back a flinch. “Why can’t you or Pope go with him? We’re comfy.”

“I’ve, um,” John B. stuttered and looked to Pope for help, which ended up being futile since his fellow pogue decided that staring at his phone was a better use of his time. “I’ve got to set up the TV, it’s gotta be done a specific way, and Pope is waiting for a phone call or something, I don’t know.”

“Real convincing,” JJ scoffed under his breath. He stood up and pulled you to your feet, ripping you out of Kiara’s grip. “Come on, Angel, let’s go.”

“Angel?” You and Kiara chorused. Your facial expression was one of pure confusion whilst Kiara’s was one of pure disgust. 

“I don’t know, I’m trying something,” He shrugged. “Come on, I need a beer if you’re planning on making me watch this.”

As soon as you and JJ were out of sight, Kiara turned to face the remaining pogues that were left looking out the door after them. “I thought you were getting snacks, John B,” She laughed sarcastically and raised an eyebrow. “What are you trying to do with those two anyway? She’s not interested.”

Pope tilted his head in faux confusion and shrugged at her. “What do you mean? We just figured that maybe it was time for JJ to, you know, have a relationship that lasted more than one night before he ended up with an STD and who better than Y/N?”

Kiara pressed her lips together and clenched her jaw. “Why Y/N, though? Doesn’t she deserve better than just being someone to stop JJ from sleeping around, besides doesn’t he have a date tonight? He was bragging about it all day yesterday.”

Kiara was the only one he had mentioned the impending date to which briefly threw them for a loop. John B met Sarah’s gaze with an imploring stare, practically begging her to come up with someone as quickly as possible. Pope and Cleo had become extremely interested in Pope’s phone, actively ignoring the rest of the people in the room. 

“Well,” Sarah began, settling into your previous place next to Kiara and she made a point to keep her gaze on anything but the other girl in an attempt to seem more nonchalant, “JJ was just telling us that things have changed between them lately, I guess? You should have heard him last night. Apparently, they went surfing the other day and got pretty close, he reckons she’s gonna say yes if he asks her out and he’s asking her out now.”

Kiara’s gaze whipped towards the door of the Chateau, a sour expression taking over her features, “It’s like she gonna say ‘yes’,” She scoffed and shook her head, “She’s never brought him up like that once and he’s not her type anyway.”

“Well,” Pope remarked, looking up from his phone to meet her gaze. “You are pretty intense about the whole no-pogue-on-pogue-macking thing, maybe she was scared you’d be mad if she mentioned it.”

“I mean,” Cleo said, clearly catching on to Pope’s thin of thinking, “Rudeboy isn’t my type but I’m not blind.”

Kiara folded her arms across her chest and tucked her legs underneath her body, taking turns to glare at each of the remaining pogues, “She wouldn’t, he’s too… JJ for her.

Speak of the devil and he shall arrive.

As she muttered those words, JJ walked through the door, carrying two cases of beer, “What’s that supposed to mean?” He chuckled, dropping the cases onto the coffee table. 

“Nothing,” The others murmured. JJ looked suspiciously at the annoyed look on Kiara’s face and the almost identical deer-caught-in-the-headlights look that the rest were sporting.

John B clapped his hands after worryingly glancing around the room, “Okay so the movie’s all set up and snacks are ready. There’s no more need to talk about anything. JJ, get the curtains and Pope, get the lights, and we’ll get started then.”

Kiara nudged Sarah in her side to move further away from her in order to make room for you, who quickly and quite happily turned to your position in her arms.

Sarah and John B made themselves comfortable on the old, worn-out armchair beside them. Pope claimed the last space on the edge of the couch, with Cleo lounging on the floor between his legs. JJ, once again, launched himself onto the couch beside you, which was quite a tight fit given that the aforementioned couch was certainly not made for four people.

It took Kiara roughly ten and a half minutes before she was completely fed up and called it quits. JJ had somehow found plenty of opportunities to flirt with you, more than Kiara would consider appropriate.

“I’ve changed my mind,” She declared, her tone was harsh and her lips pressed into a thin line, and untangled herself from you to angrily storm out the door, trying and clearly failing to keep her anger at bay. 

You glanced around in confusion, trying to meet your friends' gazes to determine the reason for Kiara’s sudden departure but came up empty. You weren’t completely oblivious, you saw the stoney glares that she had been sending to JJ but you figured that was just typical jj-being-an-idiot glares rather than anything else. You frowned, glancing between the TV screen and the door a few times before making up your mind; jumping up from the couch, you walked outside with clear purpose in your strides.

The pogues shared a triumphant look and ran towards the window, pulling the curtains open and preparing to watch their work come to fruition. JJ was relieved when they watched you join Kiara on a hammock, he’d had enough flirting with his best friends for a lifetime.

You and Kiara were far enough away that they couldn’t quite catch what you were saying but they figured that it was positive based on your and Kiara’s matching smiles. They cheered amongst themselves when they saw you lean over to pull her closer and watched as she laid her head in the crook of your neck. 

Sarah turned around with a smug look on her face, “Told you.”

Kiara couldn’t but smile into your neck and run her fingers up and down your side, playing with the hem of your shirt, “Did JJ ask you anything when you guys went to get the beer?” She wondered out loud.

You paused, pulling your fingers from where they had been in Kiara’s hair, untangling some of the strands, “Kind of, we talked about his tonight and he wanted fashion advice.”

“Really?”

“Yeah,” You chuckled, shaking your head, “He’s really excited, it’s adorable.”

Kiara’s tilted her head up and pouted at you, “Not as adorable as your girlfriend, though, right?”

You gave her an unimpressed look and pressed your lips to her forehead, “As adorable as JJ is, he doesn’t compare to you. I wouldn’t want anyone else.”

“No one else could deal with listening to your stupid ass conspiracy theories all day,” She joked, wrapping her arms around your waist and burying her face in your neck again.

“Well, that’s rude.”

“Still love me?”

“Duh.”

“You know, they’ve been trying to get us together all day,” Kiara noted, staring up at the clouds through the tree branches.

“I know, they’re not exactly subtle about it, are they?”

“Should we have told them?”

“Nah.”

an: i'm terrible at endings but what do you think? let me know in the replies/reblogs and send me any requests you have <3

[stressedlawsecretary]

Today's Focus

05.09.24 - I am back at work after taking two days to travel for a concert. Frankly, I wish I was back home in bed being lazy rather than here. I suppose I always have time I can take, plus I only have two full weeks of work before a paid holiday.

Work - I mean...I have to clean out my inbox for sure. I remember something from my supervisor about needing to get a hotel and flight for a couple of my lawyers to attend a CLE, and I see a bunch of emails regarding that, so that's probably going to be the main thing I tackle today. I'm sure there are some efiles in there as well but I don't expect it to be very busy.

Background Noise - I'm back to binging YT, and will be doing a lot more of that while my dad is gone visiting his sister. I wanted to bring my earbuds on my car trip; the hope was that somewhere on the 4 hr round trip drive I could get through a nearly 2 hr podcast on SSSniperWolf's bad behavior but I forgot them and so I'm catching up now.

That is not to say that I didn't watch any YT; I did eight videos over the two days, and I kept up on my news program even while my hunny started Hades II to distract me.

Study - Well it's Thursday, so I suppose I should attempt to read some of the actual books I started and not just articles. I'm still counting pages instead of chapters though.

Last time I studied was on Monday, and I read like four random articles/press releases, four Horizon Post Office scandal articles, three pages of HR 5376, and the whole Wiki page for Adamson v. California. I continued to read the other couple of decisions & complaints I started, and I got more pages in, but I haven't finished them yet.

Extras - It is Thursday, so I do need to make sure the trash goes out to the curb; I kept up on the weekly chores so I don't have extras, but I do need to go grocery shopping because the last time I did it only took me to the day before the trip. Thankfully, I can do more microwave kinds of meals while dad's gone to give myself a break; it'll probably be one of the handmade pizzas my local grocer does for tonight. Two more episodes of Carranger; we did do three yesterday and have a total of five left so I bet I can finish the series on Friday. We're also about halfway through the first episode of The Tick, but also probably won't watch more because I'll want hunny to continue playing Hades II. Mini-essay was done quick today; I'm working on another longer one to post and hope I can write a lot when remote working tomorrow.

I'm going to finish my post today by sharing some of the pics/videos from the TWRP concert.

[dollarbin]

Dollar Bin #35:

Van Morrison's Veedon Fleece

To date I've put off writing about two of my favorite 60s/70s artists, Van Morrison and Joni Mitchell. This requires some explanation, as leaving either of them out of the Dollar Bin is like leaving rice and beans off your shopping list; life is better when you have these staples available at all times, yes?

In the case of Joni, I'm continuing to procrastinate because what the hell could I really say that's either of interest, insight or humor about her classic records? Um, they're classic; you should get your act together if you don't have them all memorized.

And when it comes to everything after Hejira, where do you even start? Um, well, they're less good. But you should still listen to them. What the hell else are you going to listen to right now? Your kids, you say? Your spouse? Tell them to simmer down and stand aside because it's time to crank Dancin' Clown loud in the living room.

Yep, that's Billy Idol doing his obnoxious thing in the track; apparently Tom Petty's involved too but he's smart enough to stay in the background. Yikes, this is not Joni's great hit.

Even so, I always plead with the student DJ's at my high school school's (that's where I work whenever I climb out of the Dollar Bin) dance's to slip this pop chestnut, along with the B-52's Love Shack, into the Winter Formal mix. I long for the terribly awkward, you see. (To be clear: I'm not a big Dancin' Fool fan. But Love Shack? That's my jam.) Happily, the students never listen to me. If they did I'd feel obligated to get down on my own like a Dancin' Clown.

Anyway, we'll all drink a case of Joni together at some point soon; maybe Mitchell Mondays will be a thing when Shakey Sundays start to wind down (which, at Neil's pace of releasing records should be around 2045). Thanks for your patience Joni!

I've been putting off Van for some of the same reasons I guess. He's not on Joni's level for me, but I recognize that every one of his records are either stone cold classics or have greatness within them up until the mid 70's. But then he hit a brick wall and, frankly, I've never taken the time to survey a lot of the wreckage. If you ask me How Long Has This Been Going On? (the self congratulatory name of Van's mid-90's record) I'll tell you, "beats the hell outta me; I don't listen to Morrison after Feel the Music."

After all, who wants to hear synthesizers mingling with old white man jazz moves, all of it fronted by back up singing ladies and Van's grumpy indifference? And don't even get me started on his recent anti-vax crusade; were I to meet Van today I'd mask up and tell him to get a goddamn life.

Yes, it's true: my buddy Greg, who's reading this right now and freaking out, tells me that No Guru, No Teacher, No Method, No Pizza, or whatever it's called, is a good record, and I'm sure he's right. But I have never found the energy to really listen to it.

Don't get me wrong: I hear Van about gurus; I don't have one either, and Dylan's song about working on one is terrible. But I am a teacher, so I don't appreciate Van trying to get me fired. And I tend to employ methods of all kinds, except while I'm pumping out this nonsense. Finally, I enjoy pizza. And Van apparently doesn't want me to have any. Damn it, Van: give me slice!

But I'm hear to tell you that Veedon Fleece is a Dollar Bin classic: it's soulful, weird, relaxing and elegant; plus, it's just about the last will and testament of Van the Man before he became No Plan Van.

I resisted this album for a long time, not giving it a chance until my late 20's. Why? Well, for one thing, I'm not that into domesticated animals - my cat Batty should be named Compromise, Surrender or Capitulate. Because that's what I did when we got her.

Just look at this beast, busy trying to block out the last 45 years of Morrison's career:

Van appears with giant dogs on the cover of Veedon Fleece, and that fact alone made me pass on this record in the Dollar Bin until around 2003.

The dogs on its cover look far too much like the drooling, child-eating ones my famous brother and I cowered before at ages 6 and 3 respectively at some babysitting co-op lady's house. There we stood, 4'1 and 3'nothing, doggie biscuits in hand, supplied by that well intentioned mother who'd sent us outside to greet them. In the face of all that sniffing, shuffling and terrifyingly hairy life-force my famous brother and I did the only reasonable thing at the time: we ate the doggie biscuits ourselves and then got the hell back in the house.

Frankly, I can't think of a single album cover which features domesticated animals and contains good music. Pink Floyd's Animals doesn't count: that pig ain't real. There are no dogs on the cover of Hounds of Love and the cat on Tapestry is benign. Joni's own Dog Eat Dog is majorly mediocre, Elvis / Old King is a grainy footnote to the cover of Everybody Knows this is Nowhere, and I'll be damned if I ever listen to the Alice in Chains' album with a dog on it or this other Van Morrison record which, for all I know, features the same terrifying dogs as Veedon Fleece, only this time they've been shorn and one is muzzled so as to leave the other free to gorge independently upon my flesh:

But somewhere in the early to mid-aught's my buddies Ryan and Ned cranked up the first song on Veedon Fleece's B Side as we rolled out of town, heading for a men's weekend in the desert. During that trip I melted my shoes in our dead yucca tree bonfire while wearing them (it's amazing what can happen under the influence) and fell in love with Veedon Fleece.

Here is that first track on the record's flip side, and it's the closest thing on the record to a pop single:

The song features just about all the wonderful bits Van had to offer back in the day: he grunts, warbles and shouts whenever he isn't soaring along, plus we've got driving acoustic guitar, chasing bass and drums, pick-me-up piano and complimentary six string riffs.

But the country folk rock of Bulbs, and the stately, epic white blues track that follows, Cul De Sac (which features what may be the greatest scream by a white male in popular music) are outliers on an album which is otherwise concerned with some of the most obscure and introspective music Morrison ever recorded.

Before we get into that truer tale of the record, here's Cul De Sac with its aforementioned scream ready for your pleasure at the 4:56 mark.

I once had a school-wide tug of war rope snap like gunfire in my hands, instantly shredding four of my fingers, one of which still feels funky ten years later. My scream was just as loud. But it was not musical.

Morrison recorded these two tracks separately from the rest of the record, and it shows. What's more, in true Morrison style, he basically wrote off the whole album afterwards: he's almost never performed any of the songs live and he spent the following few years singing only to his gargantuan hounds.

The other record Morrison has treated with similar disdain is Veedon Fleece's spiritual companion, Astral Weeks. Both records must be too thoughtful, complex and warmly spiritual for his liking. It's like he twice got caught gardening turnips in the nude by his neighbors and decided each time to skip town and bail on the mortgage as a result.

Take a listen to Veedon Fleece's opening track, Fair Play: all his ginormus dogs and lady friends are elsewhere; this is just Van, surrounded by sympathetic peers, searching for deliverance among magpie topics that veer from The Lone Ranger to Transcendentalism and back again.

Everything else on the record matches this yearning, graceful tone. Often you lose track of just how obscure and particular the lyrics are; indeed I often forget that Morrison is actually singing in a language I know.

The record's second and third songs depict a sensitive, San Fran everyman psychopath who wields a hatchet at human heads and never misses church on Sunday; the last two songs on Side A are is basically Van's own - albeit highly vague and vastly abbreviated - Intro to Major British Authors II course, and they are way better than the course I took by that title as an undergraduate. Every song flows together; every stands on its own; everything is supremely weird and lovely: what could be better?

But it's the record's two final, so-sparse-they-are-barely-there songs that mean the most to me. Come Here My Love is probably the last thing any of Van seventeen ex-wives ever want to hear him say again, but when he sings it you can dig why they all married him in the first place. It's pretty damn sexy, and if I were into 78 year old covid deniers who should never missed an open casting call to play The Penguin in the next Batman movie I'd swipe vigorously left or right or whatever direction indicates heavy interest on Van's Christian Mingle dating profile.

The album then closes with something even spacier, even sparser, even more astoundingly beautiful. Listen for the ghostly choir emerge way in the backspace, explore the majestic Country Fair:

There's nothing in his catalog that beats Morrison guiding the dense and stretched melody on this track. While the recorder forrays about on its own, Van leads every other musician, and all of us, on a brooding, Pied Piper ramble through endless green ways and shimmering, summer fields.

Country Fair, and Veedon Fleece as a whole, leave me incredibly sad and wonder struck at once. It's a Dollar Bin journey I'm always so eager to take. I'd even feel safe enough to reach out and pet Van's dogs if I came upon them mid-record. And if I had a dog biscuit in hand at the time I'd split it in three equal parts. Then we'd all enjoy it together.

[spinningbuster98]

Dante and Vergil for the ask!

Dante:

do I like them:

Of course. I mean look at him. Look at the guy!

5 good qualities:

He's a great guitarist

A great actor

A great dancer

He can be really supportive of others when the situation calls for it, as seen with Lady during the end phases of DMC3, or even with Trish in the ending of DMC1. Hell he tries to look after Nero the best he can, even if he's sometimes insensitive about it

He's got a bigger heart than he lets on: in DMC3, even before he fully transitioned from "adrenaline junkie who doesn't care if the world goes to shit so long as he gets to have fun" to "more or less responsable adrenaline junkie who's willing to make tough choices for the good of everyone" he still tried to save Lady from a strike by Vergil when she interfered with their fight.

3 bad qualities:

He's a complete slob, who's always wasting around in his office not really taking care of himself, just stuffing his face with pizza, strawberry sundaes and alcohol

He's got a bad habit of getting into debts that he cannot repay, as Lady would likely confirm, since I believe he owes her a ton of cash in the anime

While he genuinely cares for Nero and wants him to stay out of harm's way it's pretty clear from his comments about him being a deadweight and "needing to sit this one out" that he doesn't fully understand or take seriously his insecurities

favourite episode/etc:

Well technically it's DMC3, for giving us the most dynamic, perhaps human and falliable Dante, though DMC5 is close for striking the best balance between being a goofball and a "I'm getting too old for this shit" 40 yo responsable adult

otp

I know everyone wants him to get into Lady's pants, but honestly aside from their interactions in DMC3 I just don't see enough chemistry and it often feels to me that fans like to pair them together mostly because she's the only available option that doesn't devolve into problematic territory

So I'm going with Dante/Pizza

brotp:

Well he's only got one bro so :P

ot3:

None

notp:

Pretty much everything involving incest, so anything with Vergil, Nero and unfortunately Trish as well

best quote

"Frankly, at first, I didn't give a damn... but because of you I know what's important now. I know what I need to do. That's what MY soul is telling me to do"

head canon

We know that for the longest time he didn't use to have the highest opinion of Sparda, but it's implied that over the years this changed. I like to imagine that, since he never learned much about his father's "adventures" when he was a kid he sometimes tries to research stories and old folk tales about him in order to learn more about him...when he can get his lazy ass off his office chair

Vergil:

do I like them

For all intents and purposes I shouldn't, since I don't have a huge liking for purely edgy characters, even if their edginess can lead to some unintentional hilarity (look: Infinite) but Vergil is helped by having a more or less convincing backstory for his edgy behaviour (a backstory that I would have liked explored DURING DMC3 not AFTER in supplemental materials, not to mention DMC5 not delving as deeply as I would have liked) while still being pretty hilarious in his stone faced edginess. Plus he's genuinely and consistently threatening, and his brand of edginess is more of the "stoic badass who commands respect with a simple stare but who gets punked on by goofy brother" rather than "dude's a pathetic loser who got a dose of raw power and thinks he's hot shit and so just spews out edgy catchphrases thinking he's cool". With the former it's someone who is equally powerful who humiliates him, with the latter he just inadvertedly humiliates himself and I don't think it was the actual intention

5 good qualities

He's very good at keeping himself neat and tidy for someone who's technically more of a hobo than his brother (I mean I don't think Vergil has a house no?)

He's very perceptive as to when somebody might just be trying to trick him (like when he attempted to kill Arkham because he rightly suspected he was trying to double cross him)

Has some fine taste in literature

The fact that his human side was able to see the consequences of his destructive behaviour, and the fact that he was willing to stop his fight with Dante and listen to Nero and try to cut down the Qliphoth before it was too late (though only after some hefty convincing and ass kicking) shows that there might still be some form of hope for him. Maybe not outright "redemption" (kinda hard to make up for killing an entire city's population), but he may one day stop being an evil douche

Truly motivated chad

3 bad qualities:

Well y'know the whole "gotta get more power even if it means destroying the world" mindset

Really shortsighted: yeah he wants to gain more power in response to his childhood trauma....but what then? What will he do after he gets what he wants? Will he ever be satisfied with the kind of power he can gain? I don't think Vergil has ever bothered making long term plans for his future

He should really work towards paying that due child support

favourite episode/etc

Technically DMC5 by virtue of being the only game that tried fleshing him out in any way. I guess there's also that Visions of V manga but I haven't read it fully

otp

Vergil/Plastic Chair

brotp

He's stuck in Hell with Dante of all people and that's comedy that writes itself

ot3

None

notp

Same as above

best quote

"You will not forget this Devil's power!"

headcanon

Dude probably kept going about displaying the "true power of a son of Sparda" while conceiving Nero

[leffee]

How Vinnie’s friend’s would react to opening his fridge for a snack and only seeing a bunch of energy drinks inside.

Russell: *He frowns shaking his head*"Vinnie, this is not okay. You can't survive on these alone. We're going to the store right now to get you some real food."

Pepper: *Pepper grinned, grabbing a can of energy drink* "Don't mind if I do," she said, popping it open.

Sunil: "Vinnie, I'm starting to think you have a secret sponsorship deal with that energy drink company. Need me to grab some actual food for you next time I'm out?"

Penny: “Vinnie, seriously? Am I supposed to starve every time I come over here? I've been craving a snack, and all I see are these energy drinks. Are you trying to tell me something? do I need to start bringing my own snacks when I come over?”

Zoe: "Darling, these energy drinks are like liquid sugar bombs, you know? Have you ever considered letting me give you some pointers on a healthier diet?"

Minka: "Whoa, look at all these energy drinks! This is like a dream come true!” *starts chugging two at a time* “Let's see if I can break my record!"

Sharukuh: “I’m not drinking that.” *pulls out his phone* “I’m getting a pizza what do you want on your half?”



Per your liking, I will reply to those as Vinnie >:) (and then you will reply as them and then I will again reply as Vinnie and then- basically another rp [not really]) But before that I'm glad you did include Sharukh, idk now I'm really into him being part of their group

with Russell: "What? Sure I can >:(. I have been until now so clearly I can. You're wrong and I'm finally right. But fine, we can go to the store." He's going there with an intent to buy more energy drinks :) and maybe some chips and stuff like that

with Pepper: *no talking actually, he just shrugs and nods in approval. Sure, he'd rather have it for himself but then again Pepper did want a snack plus he respects that she doesn't bat an eye at his fridge's contents. Finally, someone who understands ^^* But like Pepper better buy that back-

With Sunil: "Whhhhat? Nah, if I feel like I need some different food I'll buy it myself. And a sponsorship deal? I so wish I had one, imagine energy drinks just arriving at my door like that! What a dream... Wait! How can I get such sponsorship? There must be a way."

With Penny: "W-what? No... *actually feeling rather sorry* But those do count as snacks, promise! At least give it a try, okay? I promise it's veery good, and look how big of a choice I have, feel free to take any *takes mental notes in the back of his head to have some "other" snacks on him whenever Penny visits*"

With Zoe: "Healthier diet? No thanks, I'm healthy alright. Look, it's not like I drink them all the time, only like... 90% of the time. And liquid sugar bombs? Mmm. I mean, doesn't that mean that they give me a lot of energy and stuff? They are called energy drinks after all, yeah? And you can never have too much energy, right? I'm telling you, Zoe, they're not bad *goes on a rant trying to convince Zoe that energy drinks are healthy*" Spolier alert: Zoe does not end up convinced at all, in fact she's just all that more sure they're bad.

You know what that reminds me of? The fact that quite recently (like few months ago I think) there was this change in Poland (you know, where I live) that now to buy energy drinks you have to be an adult, so eighteen. That had not been a think before at all, you could buy those being any age. I know, I fucking kept forgetting about it and then sometimes they wouldn't sell me those cause I didn't have my ID on me because I never needed it before for that and apparently I don't look 18 even though I'm 22 :'). I mean, it has its perks. Is that a thing in other countries? I feel like it might be, at least countries that are part of European Union, but I don't know for sure.

Anyway, I mean I understand and I quite frankly think this is right, but still, it's kinda weird to think that now in such way energy drinks are on the same level as alcohol, with both of those only being sold to adults. You know, alcohol is such a common thing, you can just easily buy it, but it's so fucking harmful, I genuinely believe alcohol should be banned, for everyone, only used for medical purposes and stuff, not for casual consumption. Okay this isn't the post for that, it's just what I thiiiink.

With Minka: *similar like with Pepper, respects that even if two of his precious energy drinks had to be sacrificed* "Record, huh? You have a record? I didn't know that. You drink energy drinks a lot? Cause I do, I mean, obviously. I mean not that much. But still, how many have you drank in a day the most? I think for me it was like... five? Maybe six, I don't remember. I felt soo good afterwards, you have no idea, I was just soo full of energy and I completed so many things."

And finally with the man of the hour himself, Sharukh: "Aw, why not? They're good! *mildly offended but then-* Oh, pizza? Okay! So I want cheese and ham, lots of ham, no vegetables or olives, yuck! Oh and pepperoni, lots of it too." I like how Sharukh is so unfazed, he's just "I'm not drinking this shit". Then again Sharukh of all people is used to seeing a fridge filled with one product and one product only, cause he has more than one fridge, most likely, doesn't he?

I just really like the dynamic Vinnie and Sharukh have going on, you know?

[rmhashauthor]

hello hello! how is your latest writing WIP coming along? Are there any particular scenes you're really looking forward to writing? Any characters you've fallen in love with more than you anticipated? (this is a friendly excuse to talk about your story and characters!)

Oh boy... You've opened the floodgates, my friend.

The Dragon Prince's Consort is going well, I'm several chapters ahead of the posting schedule but I am having to acknowledge the fact that I've been on a little bit of a dry spell because of starting a new job. It's one of those that needs a lot of brainpower in the beginning because I'm still training, and I'm the kind of person who stresses out if things aren't just *PERFECT* so the period between "I'm new so no one expects me to know anything yet" and "I've been here long enough to know what I'm doing" is my least-favorite part of starting a new job. Some days I come home with half a brain cell and just enough energy left to eat a handful of shredded cheese and go to sleep. Damn you, capitalism! Let me write!!

But enough of that.

At the moment TDPC is hovering just under 160 reads on Wattpad, which is fine because a lot of people who follow me wait until I'm done writing to binge. STARFISH was like that, once I let everyone know it was DONE done I started getting weekend warriors who would mainline the whole thing in a couple of days and flood my inbox with screaming emojis. Someone is doing that right now and it's always a delight.

Anyway, TDPC is all plotted out and has been for a while now, so the task is to finish writing the damn thing. And like most ADHD people I already have another story lined up that I'm working on an outline for and may or may not have started drafting the first chapter 😉 I like to take little breaks from one story and work on something else to keep things fresh and interesting, otherwise it's like eating pizza for breakfast, lunch and dinner - pizza is great, I love pizza, but by Day 2 I'll gnaw off my own legs for a salad or some soup.

This new one I'm excited about because I've never written a true Villain before. Well, he's not really a villain, per se, more like a "fuck you, fuck your rules, I do what I want" type of guy. I figured if I've written two stories with cinnamon-roll male leads it's time for someone who's more a walking middle finger to society and laws in general. While he's not a mass-murderer or anything, this guy definitely has blood on his hands and isn't the easiest to live with, as the heroine will find out once she's conscious again. I figure most people love a Bad Boy who is a Good Man, so I'm going to see what I can do with that.

Now for his foil, boy is SHE a mess. Look, someone is going to take one look at this sorry thing and yell BOO MARY SUE but frankly I don't care. There's a point to making her such a sad sack and it won't become clear until her bastardization arc kicks in. Plus, I figure if she has a history of making terrible decisions when it comes to men then having her do a little more of the same is in-character for her. Except maybe this time it's different because she's trying NOT to be such a good girl, maybe this time she won't be so naive and her newfound cynicism might prove useful.

The whole story has a Heavy Metal (of which I am a MASSIVE fan) vibe to it, it's a lot grittier than my last two and that's on purpose. I've been listening to a lot of psychedelic doom metal (more than usual) to get my head in the right space for it, which has been interesting. It's not going to be a pretty story, full of flowers and sparkles and happy, because at this point in the universe in my head all the shiny has worn off the concept of First Contact and now we have to deal with the realities of life in space among half a dozen other species, all with their own goals, fears and issues. I've decided to leave my comfort zone of writing cute stories about sweet people and instead do something that I think a lot of people are going to see as dark and even problematic - some themes are not going to be easy to digest, even for someone like me who's lived a relatively easy life, but I hope that I can do some justice to it by 1, talking about it and thus making it less taboo, and 2, doing what I usually do which is make the plot as important as the sexy bits.

However, I do have some hard rules I DON'T break while writing, and there are a few things I will NOT use as plot devices or tropes - I don't write about SA, I won't write an abusive relationship, and I don't do age gaps where one person is underage. I may go right up to the line and stare at it, but not only am I not comfortable writing those I don't want to drive readers off. I'm grey about "trigger warnings" in that I think people should be prepared to run into things that may upset them in fiction, film and art because that's the whole point, but I also believe in self-censorship and letting people decide for themselves to put down something I or another creator has made. It's only fair to give readers an out when things get too hairy, I've put down a LOT of books because the author decided that dubcon was okay when it wasn't, or because their male MC was just an insufferable ass with Alpha Male syndrome (yuck). Hell, I've lost interest in entire SERIES because I've seen tropes get subverted and then the author goes back on the old trope, completely derailing and destroying what could have been a WONDERFUL twist because they didn't commit to getting weird with it. Like my late father always said, "If you're gonna be a bear, be a Grizzly." At the very least, be a Grizzly in a funny hat.

Scenes I'm really looking forward to include Captain PTSD's "aren't you tired of being good?" speech, Miss Sad Sack discovering his "Daddy Mode" and being UNCOMFORTABLY turned on by it, a recurring bit where she has to sit in his lap for business reasons and it is excruciatingly embarrassing how much she comes to like it, an incident where wounds are literally licked in super-inappropriate places, a plethora of R-rated one-liners, and a frankly STUPID amount of sexual tension between two idiots who know EXACTLY what needs to happen, but pride, stubbornness and personal convictions keep it from happening (just... SO MUCH TENSION). A lot of really bad decisions will be made and people are gonna get hurt, but I'm hoping by the end what looks like the beginning of a Very Bad Situation will turn out to be the best thing that ever happened to both of them. I'm also looking forward to playing with more Daddy-dom scenarios that AREN'T borderline abusive, the concept of "you cannot legislate morality", a new alien species with some WEIRD behavioral quirks, and ☆*KNOTTING*☆ Yaaaay!

If you're gonna be a bear, be a Space-Grizzly with a wizard hat and a tricycle made of napalm and glitter.

[thewul]

What exactly is Pizza Bums

I think brands have to inspire, especially youth in our times, which are quite bleak frankly, so it is about a mind shift towards the positive and skipping the negative which will take care of itself because it's a bubble, all the troubles we're in, one big bubble that is going to burst in the couple of years ahead

What makes you say that?

Mankind is so inclined to step all the way to the brink and step back, there's not yet that level of collective consciousness that avoids getting in trouble

Ok so Pizza Bums?

It's a world tour of a team of 8 youngsters sponsored by Pizza Hut, where there is also a team that produces content revolving around the visit of Pizza Hut restaurants around the world packaged with city tours, and sight seeing

Why Pizza Hut?

Because Pizza Hut is a global brand present in 155 countries and as a brand Pizza Hut has to produce content that is also diversified and international, where that content in the end is what supports advertising over social media, people won't watch your ads anymore without something in return, ie content

How does it work?

Well the support goes 3 ways, everyone gets Pizza Hut coupons valid in the different countries visited, because remember it's about visiting Pizza Hut restaurants around the world, and often getting to know and to invite locals

There's also a daily stipend, transportation, and accommodation with Air BnB

Why Air BnB?

It's a non conflicting brand that needs to create content around its image same as everybody else, plus they're exactly into what we're trying to do, a world tour on a budget, they know what they have in stock so on their end they propose us the best locations and the best deals

What is the format?

It's a video journal, on TV and on YouTube, also a blog possibly on Tumblr and yes the usual social media presences mostly Facebook and Instagram

What does the viewer get?

Well that's the thing, it's not watch us eat pizza that we're proposing, the different episodes have to be well rounded, informative, smart, funny, enlightening, sometimes often raising real life issues

How long does it last?

It should take 1 year, with maybe 60 to 80 destinations in total

Are you a bum?

I am definitely a bum, I will produce the least efforts to get away with something

Can you sum up the bum mentality?

Live well but not too well, try hard but not too hard, laugh a little, watch your step, enjoy life, and like Pizza Hutt says make it great

Pizza Hut went back to their classic logo?

They might as well it has a worldwide recognition

How do you explain what happened with the new logo?

Some new guy trying to make a mark

Not a bum?

Not a bum no, a bum would never change something that works

What do you have to say to Pizza Hut’s board?

Content, good vibes, advertising how Pizza Hut is truly global all under one hood, a youthful audience that’s their existing and future customers, costs wise it’s probably what a single restaurant makes in a few months

What about the Pizza Bums team?

Multiethnic, they know how to use a camera, conduct interviews, the kind who are going to realize that what ever content they produce will have their names on it, they’re curious, they explore come up with interesting stories and episodes, which in the end are a means to further their professional careers

Also they have been properly trained by Pizza Hut in making pizzas so sometimes they substitute for the staff at the restaurants, that kind of stuff

Above all optimistic, see it’s always looking at what is wrong that makes you part of it, if you cannot fix the problems you want fix the problems you can

So far you would say that A& has produced ideas and concepts in advance?

Monetizing them you mean? Well we can sit and stare at the half empty glass all day long and it’s not going to make it full anytime soon

Where did you get the Pizza Hut font?

I had it installed, everyone should have it

Is Pizza Bums self serving?

Why not, I fit perfectly with the idea of it

Any last thoughts?

Yes brands have to give back, they can’t give back to everyone that’s the thing, if we consider Pizza Bums its a group of youth who are finding a way to travel around the world with free meals at Pizza Hut, traveling expenses and tapping into Air BnB for accomodation, it’s epitomic of our times where you have to find ways to tweak things to the advantage of all the parties concerned 

My advice to the youth is to find ways their favorite brands can give back and propose it to them, it’s an area where A& should be listening definitely, through competitions and polls

It’s about understanding their core business, and their needs and furthering them in a meaningful way

Thanks

Welcome

[rogersideup]

A sticky situation

(Steve Rogers x reader)

All fluff

Word count: 3,225

Summary: For as long as you can remember, Steve’s love for you has been laced and tangled into your hair. After a bad day at work, you find yourself stuck in a sticky situation. Will Steve approve of your impromptu haircut?

Warnings: My blog is 18+ only. All minors or blogs without an age in bio will be blocked. Minors DNI.

AN: ahhh my first fic! I did my best to keep the description of the reader’s hair inclusive to all hair types. All mistakes are my own. Hope you enjoy!

When your friend, Maddie, set you up on a blind date, she was met with nothing but protests and excuses as to why you weren't ready for that kinda thing yet.

The date was tonight at 7pm sharp, and she made it very clear that showing up on time meant you had shown up late. So really, the date was at 6:50pm.

She had only told you half way through your work day on lunch break.

"Oh bitch do I have the opportunity for you" Maddie's voice rang through your phone as you were shoveling food down your throat in attempts to have some time to tidy up your classroom before a stampede of 7-8 year olds came back just to mess it up all over again.

"Yeah? And what's that?" You questioned curiously.

"A date. Tonight. Trust me when I say you do not want to miss out on this one" She presented.

"Oh trust me, I most definitely do" You practically barked out a cackle at her statement.

"No you don't. In fact, you'll be so thankful for this date that you're going to ask me to be maid of honor when you two get married" Confidence laced in her tone.

"Oh yeah? Tell me about him? What makes him so special that I'd want to do anything other than go home and eat cold pizza by myself on a Friday night?"

"First of all, that's really sad. Second of all, I happen to know you already have a crush on him. I'm not going to tell you who he is, but you'll know the second you get there. Plus he already agreed so it would be kind've rude to waste his time"

"Maddie" You threw your head back in complaint. "What do you mean I have a crush on him? You know I get out of work at 4, right?"

"Which is exactly enough time for you to go home and change before the date! Wear something casual but nice, you're meeting at that new bar on 21st street. Oh, and also you don't have a choice. I got this opportunity for you based on pure luck so if I find out you aren't going to show up, I'm coming over to your place and dragging you there myself" Maddie threatened.

"You're a pain in my ass? You know that?" You questioned with a playful tone. You knew she was only looking out for you.

"Of course I do."

You spent the whole rest of your work day empty minded while your students worked on their art projects. However, art day meant staying later to clean up the absolute mess the second graders made. They could never seem to keep their wiggly fingers to themselves which resulted in smeared paint, teeny bits and pieces of cut up construction paper stuck into the carpet and tacky Elmer's glue on the desks, and the messiest of all, glitter. Everywhere.

Clinging to your clothes, between the fibers of the rugs, flying through the air with each time a student walked through the room, and stuck to the tiny hands that hugged you goodbye every single evening.

By the time you got home at 5:45, and took a look in the mirror you knew it was rough. You looked just as tired as you felt and the clothes on you body were screaming to be washed.

You chugged a glass of coffee as a mid-day pick me up before taking a quickest shower time could possibly allow. You through on the cleanest outfit she could find, smacked on the bare minimum make up to make you look more alive, then you got to your hair.

An absolute rats nest that was once perfectly styled this morning. The day was not kind to it, and frankly there was no proper way to fix it. After one last call to Maddie letting her know that there was no way you could show up for a date in the condition you were in, you were met with empty threats once again.

There wasn't enough time to wash it and start fresh since apparently you were meeting the most punctual man on the planet, so you popped it in a sleek low bun with a few loose strands in front and prayed to whatever god would listen that he wouldn't notice the glitter that somehow found a way to reside in it.

You weren't happy about it, and honestly, it made you not want to go. It simply wasn't cooperative, keeping you humble and knocking down your confidence to the absolute bare minimum.

So when you walked into the bar feeling not the best about yourself, you looked around before your eyes landed on a lonesome man a table by himself.

The sight felt like a punch to your stomach and you cursed the coffee for contributing to the way your heart raced.

Surely, that couldn't be your date. Right?

Then, his eyes met yours and he gave you a big toothy smile before standing up to greet you.

"Y/N?" He asked just to confirm you really were the girl he had seen pictures of.

"Uh, yeah. Hi!" She slapped a smile on because holy shit Maddie set you up on a date with Captain America and you had glitter in your god damn hair.

"Nice to meet you, I'm Steve" he politely introduced himself while wrapping you in a friendly hug.

You'd like to believe that the small talk went well, but the whole time you were too focused on making sure you weren't presenting yourself as a weird obsessive fan while also letting him know that you were well aware of his job title.

Luckily your drink did wonders to calm your nerves and build up the confidence your mediocre hairstyle took from you.

"So, what do you do for work? I think Maddie mentioned something about kids?" He asked politely.

"I teach second grade" You informed him with a smile.

"Ah, that explains the glitter in your hair" He smiled while you internally groaned.

"I was hoping you wouldn't notice" You giggled awkwardly. "My job is great and I absolutely love all my students, but it certainly doesn't leave much time for good hair days. Especially for impromptu dates after work"

"Your hair looks great!" He complemented, and you could hear the sincerity. "I think the glitter really adds to the whole ensemble you have going on here. I really like it"

"Really?" You asked genuinely surprised at his kindness. "Thank you! I almost didn't come because I'm having a bad hair day."

"I'm very glad you did. I wouldn't consider this anywhere near what my bad hair days are like"

Oddly enough, his acknowledgment and complements put your mind at ease enough to actually enjoy the rest of the time you spent with him.

You ended up clicking a lot better than anyone else you've been on a date with recently, and found yourselves at that same table until the bar closed.

He walked you home like the true gentleman he was, and nervously stood at your doorstep as you fumbled your keys to unlock the creaky door.

When it finally flew open with some pressure to the rusty hinges, you found out that his nerves were because he really enjoyed the time he spent with you, and wondered if you would want to do this again someday soon.

After an enthusiastic attempt at agreeing on a time and date, and a quick kiss to his cheek in attempts to keep it classy, you finally said goodnight to each other.

As he walked away he couldn't help but to look back at you and give a final "and please show up even if you think your hair is messy"

One date turned to two, and two to four, four to eight, and in the blink of an eye, you and Steve had been going steady for almost a year.

As your relationship deepened, so did his love for your hair.

Every morning you woke up next to him, he would lovingly run his fingers through the length, gently brushing it away from your face and off his shoulder.

Whenever you were sad or scared, he held you so tight against his chest. One hand rubbing your back while the other held the back of your head. He would rest his check on the crown of your scalp and nestle it into the soft strands.

Whether you just got back from the hair salon, or had woken up from the best nap of your life with your hair flying in all sorts of directions you didn't even know was possible, he made it a point to tell you how pretty you looked.

Steve always thought you looked beautiful.

From tucking flyaways behind your ears while the two of you made love, to gathering it all at the base of your head and holding it back while you threw up from a bad case of the stomach flu, it was like his love was always entangled in your hair.

But it wasn't just your hair, it was his too.

You always loved how unique the color of his hair was. Golden blonde right on top that deepened into a rich chocolate shade on the back of his head. On the off chance he didn't get an opportunity to shave, his glorious beard was almost the same shade of brown. But oddly enough, it had deep hues of mahogany red with just a touch of a few silver strands that he credited to stress. Definitely not due to the fact that the man was well over a hundred years old.

On days he would come back from missions dirty, sweaty, and exhausted, his favorite thing in the whole world was when you would shower with him just to assist in washing his hair. There were no words to accurately describe how loved that made him feel.

Or when he would have days off of work and you'd let him fall asleep on you. His body weight crushed you deep into the cushions of the couch, his body heat combined with yours under the blanket would make your cheeks turn pink, and he claimed that your chest made the best and most comfortable pillow. What really lulled him to sleep and kept his dreams oh so sweet was the way you would massage his scalp with your fingers until it was physically impossible for you to stay awake.

Once you even called him on your lunch break during a notably awful day at school. The kids just weren't quite behaving and your headache just wasn't going away. After a kid had a tantrum and no matter what you did to calm him down, nothing eased his big feelings. The result of a one on one outside conversation was a huge wad of pink bubblegum stuck and tangled into the ends of your hair.

Steve reassured you with a quick "I'll be there in 10 minutes", and sure enough he was there with a big bag of stuff he read on the internet about how to get gum out of hair.

You sat in the back of your classroom for the whole rest of the day trying absolutely everything while the kids had a surprise visit from Captain America himself.

Of course they listened to every word he said, participated in every activity he could think of to keep them entertained, and he finally conducted his own art lesson.

While you used peanut butter, olive oil, conditioner, and ice in your hair, he was finally experiencing the utter joy of getting glitter stuck in his.

The bell rang dismissing the kids to their parents for the day, and you kissed him goodbye as he got called into a meeting.

"I'm sorry nothing got the gum out" He apologized sincerely while holding your face between his palms. "I can tell you're still upset, but when I get home from this meeting I can help you some more, alright? Maybe talk to Stark and Banner to see if they have anything to help"

"Thank you, honey" You smiled despite the defeat you were sinking into.

"These kids are so lucky to have you, you're a wonderful teacher. I know you've had a hard day, but that doesn't make it any less true." He reminded you.

"You're a wonderful teacher too. You made their whole days"

"It's the least I could do" He admitted. "I'll see you at home, alright? I love you"

"I love you more"

"Impossible"

Unfortunately, the meeting turned into a mission, and the mission to get the bubblegum out of your hair was now impossible. You had to surrender and book an emergency appointment at the hairdresser where they cut out all of the pink cementy sweetness.

Your precious hair was now a lot shorter than you ever would've chosen for yourself. In a few days full of moments of weakness, you cried about it.

Friends, colleges, and students alike all agreed that your new haircut looked good on you. Apparently it complemented the shape of your face and captured your fun and bubbly personality.

But all those days without Steve made it hard.

He loved your hair so much, and most of your anxiety relied on whether he would like it or not. As dramatic as it made you feel, you wondered if your lack of hair would equate to a lack of love from him.

A lack of attractiveness to his eyes.

If less hair was less of you.

The day he got home, you were so happy to see him but the anxiety that sputtered through your body made you everything but comfortable.

Much like your very first date when you were unhappy with your hair, you popped it in a low bun.

He walked through the door and happily greeted you like a dog being reunited with its human after days apart.

He peppered your face in kisses, told you how much he missed you, and professed how happy he was to be home.

Dropping his duffle on the floor then sinking into the couch, you approached him with a stack of haphazard paper. There were so many colors and shapes that popped out as his eyes scanned the stack, his brain couldn't even begin to process what you were trying to give him.

"What's all of this?" He sleepily questioned as he pulled you into his lap.

"They're thank you cards from my students." She told him with a smile. "It was their idea, they thought that meeting Captain America was pretty much the coolest thing in the whole world and they wanted to make sure you knew"

His whole face lit up while he took the stack from your hands into his. He rested his chin on your shoulder, and couldn't even help the smile on his face. "No way. This is the cutest thing I've ever seen! Look, at this drawing of me. It's so accurate!"

The drawing on the very first card was a stick figure. Both of his eyes were definitely two different shapes and sizes, and despite being made of sticks, he still had muscles on muscles.

"I think they really captured your essence" you agreed with a giggle while nestling your cheek into his.

The next few cards were quick. All of them were pretty straight to the point, some hearts, stars and flowers drawn with washable marker and words of thanks.

Whether they were plain construction paper, or heavy in weight with head to toe stickers and glitter glue, each one made Steve the happiest guy in the world.

‘You’re the best superhero ever!’

‘Thank you Mr. Steve’

‘You saved the day!’

‘We love you’

‘Please come back soon!’

Some of them even pulled a genuine belly laugh out of the soldier. His personal favorite was ‘I used to be scared of you, but you are not scary anymore’

Half way through the stack, a thought fought it's way through Steve's exhausted foggy brain. "Wait, Honey, how did you end up getting the bubblegum out of your hair?" He felt you immediately tense in his lap before you let out a sigh and a groan, practically hiding your face away into the side of his. "Oh no. You didn't?"

"I couldn't" You practically whispered and gently shook your head. "I'm sorry"

"Why are you sorry? Did you get a haircut?" He questioned gently.

"I had to. I'm sorry because I know you loved how my hair was before"

"Can I see it?"

You suddenly felt shyer than you ever have with him, and pulling the hair out of the elastic ponytail felt more vulnerable than letting him see you naked for the first time.

You closed your eyes that were starting to water as the hair fell and just barely grazed your shoulder.

"Sweetheart" Steve started, but your shut eyelids caused you to miss the big toothy smile that uncontrollably smeared across his face. He reached his hand up and ran his fingers through it a few times, appreciating the way it stopped way sooner than it used to. "You look absolutely beautiful! Your hair is adorable!" He beamed.

It was only when you opened your eyes again that Steve noticed the tiny pool of water collecting in your bottom lash line. "You don't like it?!" He questioned with pure disbelief.

You didn't really know how to get the right words out to properly express how you felt, and you knew the second you opened your mouth the tears would start falling.

"Surely you don't hate it, right?" He asked again. "It's absolutely gorgeous, you're gorgeous"

All you could get yourself to do was hide again, but this time your face was squished into the base of his neck and shoulder.

"I don't hate it" You mumbled with a shrug. "I was just so worried that you would"

"What? Are you kidding me? You could shave all your hair off and I'd still think you're the most perfect little thing on the planet" He admitted while prying your face out of its hiding spot with gentle force.

When you looked at him again, you tried blinking away your previous irrational fear, and it caused a single tear to fall down your cheek. Steve quickly swiped it away with his thumb before giving you a kiss.

"It's a big change, and I'm not very good at dealing with change. Especially since it wasn't really my fault to begin with" You explained. "And you loved my hair"

"Love your hair" He corrected and placed a kiss on each cheek. "Still do. I love your hair because it's attached to you, sweet girl. It's okay to be upset over a big change, and it's even okay to be upset at the kid who stuck it in your hair. This is a very sticky situation, but please, don't worry about what I think. I'll always think the whole world of you"

"It quite literally was a sticky situation" You finally giggled, the sound alone pulled a smile out of your beautiful boyfriend. "Thank you, Angel. I love you so much"

"I love you more" He happily accepted the right hug you wrapped him in.

"That's impossible" You grinned.

[constellation-em]

Small Man, Big Feelings

Scott Lang x Reader

Words: 1,075

Pairing: Scott Lang x reader

Warnings: none! just some fluff

The van was blistering hot, and you were ready to get out of there. Unfortunately, Scott was taking a little too long. You had decided to tag along on his mission, uncovering some drug lord who using a used-car business as his front. You thought that Scott would turn into all business once on the job, but you were dead wrong. You were spacing out in the back of the van thinking about lunch when his voice interrupted your sweet thoughts of shitty gas-station pizza.

"Do you think if I fart in here they'll smell it?" His voice came through quite clear, though small and tinny in the headset. He was in the vents inside the building.

"Scott don't you fucking dare," you started, "like don't even think about it."

"Hypothetically it would be so small they wouldn't even smell it," a mischievous sound in his voice. You could hear his smile in the sound of it. You could imagine his little smirk, the corner of his stubble-covered cheek raised just a smidge. His soft lips parted just enough to let a light chuckle through.

"Lang, I'm serious. No cutting the cheese in the vents. This is our only chance at this."

"Don't get mad at me, I'm a small man but I have big feelings, Bug." The combination of teasing and your nickname was almost enough to make you melt right there on the spot. As much as you wanted to keep the mission all business, you couldn't resist the temptation to play along.

"Oh yeah? Like what?"

"My love for you." You froze. His voice carried no signs of joking, unlike usual. There was still a lightness to the sound, but this was a side of Scott you rarely saw and you were quite frankly confused. You didn't know what to do.

"Haha. Go do your job." His radio clicked off, and you were certain he was getting done what needed to be done. You weren't even sure what he was trying to do, you just knew he wanted you there.

"Trust me Bug, you'll do great on comms."

"Scott, I've never been alone during a mission. What if I… I don't know, freak out or something?"

"I trust you." He punctuated his sentence with a hug, the kind that completely envelopes you and you feel yourself melting into the person. The kind that most could only dream of having, of feeling.

"So again, don't get mad at me," he started, his voice once again pulling you out of your thoughts. Confusion and stress suddenly coursed through your veins, and you felt like something had gone wrong.

"You better be either dying, bleeding, or running or I'm gonna be real mad," you said with an exasperated sigh.

"They saw me, but they don't know who I am. All they know is someone is here. I'm on my way out now. 2 minutes?"

"I'll get the van started." You scooted your way up to the front of the van. As soon as you turned the ignition key, Scott slammed the back doors open in a panic.

"GO GO GO OH GOD GO!" As you drove away and he shut the doors, you noticed the blood running down his left leg, starting from the outside of his thigh and gushing down to his ankle.

"OH MY GOD YOU ARE BLEEDING!"

"IT'S FINE JUST DRIVE OH MY GOD!" You quickly reached for the glove box, keeping your eyes on the road as you opened it. His hand stopped yours, and you looked up at him for a second before turning back to the road.

His voice was pained, but he didn't sound too hurt. "Sweetheart just focus on driving right now, I can take care of it." He grabbed a napkin, pressing it against the wound, hissing as he did it. "God, you never get used to that, do you?"

"Scott maybe if you weren't such an incompetent asshole you'd be fine right now!"

"Hey! It's just superficial, it's not like it's gonna scar or anything," he looked at you, a little hurt, and continued, "plus this is why I wanted you here. Like I said, I trust you."

You both sat in silence for the next couple minutes. You weren't sure what to say, and he must not have thought there was anything to add.

"Can we circle back to when you said you loved me?" You weren't sure what you were thinking, it just came out. It was like your mouth had a mind of its own.

Surprised, he froze for a moment before responding, "I never said I loved you, just that I felt love for you."

"Is there a difference?" You asked, confused.

"Well, I mean, kind of. I guess saying I love you is saying I control this feeling, but saying I feel love for you is saying it's something I can't control. It makes more sense like that."

"With the amount you just had to elaborate I don't think that logic applies." You deadpanned, moving your hand just a smidge to turn on your blinker. "Plus, wouldn't it be better to say you do control the feeling? That you chose? That's like saying you don't want to love me, Scott. That's weird and confusing and now I'm confused." He let out an exasperated sigh, but it didn't seem directed towards you.

"Bug, I'm sorry. I'm not good with words. I never have been. I'm just trying to explain something that's- well it's hard to explain."

"Obviously."

"You get it though, right?" You felt his eyes on you, but you had to keep your eyes on the road. "What I mean?"

"Lang, every part of me wants to look you in the eyes and kiss you, but I am trying very hard not to rear-end this van going -jesus christ- like 20 miles an hour? On the freeway? Anyway, I love you too, but dear god I need to focus on this right now." You felt Scott grab your hand, and butterflies ran through you.

He held your hand up to his lips, and whispered "So, this has been lovely but my leg is bleeding out into your car", followed by a light kiss to your first knuckle. "If it makes you feel better, I did get the flashdrive I needed."

"Yes," you sighed with relief, "that does make me feel better. Immensely. Now let's get you back to the tower."

[levi-lover]

It’s all worth it

T/W: none!

A/N: GojoDad is my weakness 🥺

 the second in my “week of drabbles” challenge! the requirements: has to be over 500 words, posted before 10 pm PST and i can’t overthink it :D 

✧　*　‧　⨯　. ⁺　.　★　.　*✧　*　‧　⨯ *　‧ ✧

It had been another long and tiring day for Satoru Gojo. Often it felt like the entire world was against him and in a way, it was. He had a vision for the future that no one else saw. A vision that would change the world to make it a better place for future sorcerers. The higher-ups didn’t like this, Gojo knew this but frankly, he didn’t care. As the strongest sorcerer, he didn’t need their support. He could get rid of them if he wanted, it would another day for him. However, he knew that wouldn’t propel his vision forward so he refrained. Instead, he focused on supporting and raising a new generation of strong sorcerers. He dedicated his life to helping his students become the best versions of themselves. 

However, this didn’t mean he never doubted himself or get tired of the constant arguing with the higher-ups. Sure it was fun to antagonize them, it brought him joy to see them annoyed by him but he sometimes wondered if would backfire and they would hurt his student, both current and future. It was those days that Gojo went home and wanted nothing more than to lay in bed. Hell, maybe he would get a few hours of sleep if he was lucky. 

The apartment was quiet which he found odd. He checked his watch, it was still early. All the lights were off except for the light over the stove was on and there were two slices of pizza wrapped in foil. A handwritten note was taped to it: For Gojo, eat if you want it. I don’t care. -Megumi 

Gojo smiled and unwrapped a slice and ate it cold. He sighed and leaned against the counter. 

He wiped his fingers on a dish towel and went to Megumi’s room to check on him. He was so young yet independent, Gojo admired that. It had been a few years since he’d taken the young boy under his wing. There were ups and downs and Gojo had to learn so much so fast but it was all worth it. Gojo knew Megumi would one day surpass his own ability and he just hoped he would be there to see that. 

He knocked on Megumi’s door gently and peeked inside. Gojo frowned when he saw the window was open. He’d told Megumi to make sure it was shut until they could put a screen on the door. All sorts of bugs could get in and Gojo hated bugs. He closed the window and went to check on Megumi but his bed was empty. 

Maybe he was on the couch? Gojo thought. It wouldn’t be the first time Megumi had fallen asleep there. Gojo checked and nothing. He began to worry, what if something happened? What if he was hurt? Megumi was still a kid. Gojo calmed himself and decided to check one more place in the apartment before completely freaking out. 

His bedroom. 

It had happened once before where Megumi had fallen asleep in his bed. Before entering his room, Gojo took a deep breath and sure enough, Megumi was passed out on the bed, a book laid open on his stomach. Gojo smiled. He put the book on the nightstand and wrapped the blankets around Megumi. 

He ruffled his hair before turning off the light and closing the door. It was moments like these that made everything worth it. All the struggles paid off when he was able to have these moments with those he cared about. Plus, he would be able to tease Megumi about this tomorrow.

[butwhyduh]

I feel like some people totally miss out on Tim's better qualities. Like. He's SO supportive, to both strangers and friends. He's smart, but he only cares about learning when it's something he cares about. Hell, he even drops out when school doesn't work for him.

So, drop out Tim is probably big supportive of his al ghul girlfriend (his al ghulfriend, if you will) and how smart she is and that she's going to be well educated and be able to change the world from the inside.

"Have you met my girlfriend? She's the daughter of a near immortal head of an assassin group, so she's probably killed and knows how to. She can speak several languages fluently. She's working really hard on her college degree right now, but I hope you can meet her some time. Oh, she's also Damian's aunt, but we try to keep that part quiet. B punched one of the earth Green Lanterns' lights out when he commented on it."

As Cassie, Bart, and Kon just stare at him wide eyed and a little surprised by the info dump. It was probably a little surprising for the family too, but they probably took it in stride. Weird stuff just happens in the batfamily.

Oh my gosh yes 🥰 he’s such a supportive boyfriend. Every time she comes home with the weirdest plant or animal info Tim is like that my baby 😍.

“Tim, look! This bacterium eats plastic. Once we learn how it reacts to sea life, we might be able to put it in the ocean to help get rid of the huge amount of micro plastic in the ocean,” you said, showing him a test tube. “Isn’t it incredible??”

“Yeah, you are. I mean- it is! Amazing,” he said. You kinda melted a little at how sweet he was. “Poison Ivy spoke to me and wants to meet you. Again.”

“Aww, Ivy is so kind,” you cooed. “I’ll call her later.”

“Sure. You know she’s a supervillain, right?” Tim asked and you grabbed your jacket.

“Of course. So is my father. It’s Gotham. Your brother can be called a villain half the time,” you reminded him.

“That’s true… where are we going?” Tim asked.

“Your friend Connor invited us to eat at his tower,” you answered.

“He what??”

“He wants to meet me. You should have answered him when he called,” you said before kissing his cheek. “He is cooking his people’s food, he said.”

“Connor is cooking Kryptonian food? He’s cooking?” Tim asked as you climbed in his car. He had been asking questions on the way down.

“He said he’s making his people’s favorite food. Is pizza kryptonian? I thought it was Italian,” you answered.

“Oh he means Young Justice members, I think,” Tim answered with a laugh.

“Why didn’t you introduce me to your friends? Are you ashamed?” You asked.

“Absolutely! they’re-“ Tim said smiling while misunderstanding what you meant. Your face fell and you made a soft ‘oh’ under your breath.

“Wait! I meant they are shameful. Not you. Never you,” Tim said taking your hand. “I didn’t want to scare you away from them. You’re… amazing. I would never be ashamed of you. Plus, I was joking. I’m not ashamed of anyone. Just worried you won’t like them.”

“I’m sure I’ll love your friends,” you answered frankly. “You make good choices and have a good heart.”

3 young people stood outside of the building. One guy was waving his hand faster than humans should. The other was slightly floating off the ground. And the girl waved when the pair came closer. Tim helped you out of the car to meet them.

“Hey everybody. This is my girlfriend,” Tim said introducing you. “She’s smart and fun and cute and is going to save the world.”

“Aww Tim has a type,” Bart said. “World saving is his thing.”

“Nice to meet you,” Cassie said giving you a hug. “Hurt Tim and I’ll break all your bones,” she whispered in your ear before letting go.

“Simmer down Cassie,” the other guy said. “Call me Kon. Don’t go falling for me after eating the pizza I made,” he warned.

“Warning noted,” you smiled and Tim wrapped an arm around your waist as you walked in the house. “But I’m pretty devoted so I think I’ll be fine. I like the solar panels!”

Tim practically floated into the building.

“Kon can cook?…” Bart asked.

[plus-size-reader]

Visiting Hours

Spencer Reid x Plus size!reader

Word Count: 1074 words

Warnings: none

Summary: Spencer’s new wife dealing with his incarceration and all the struggles that come along with it. 

——————————————————————————————————

Being away from Spencer was killing you.

You couldn’t believe that your lives had come to this. Up until now, you didn’t even think that something like this was possible.

...But you’d been wrong.

Spencer was in prison, and could be for up to three months. That fact alone was bad enough but what was even worse was the not knowing. You had a front row seat to what kind of men ended up in those places.

Monsters lived within those walls and now Spencer was locked in with them.

You couldn’t imagine anything worse than that.

Every night, you went to bed, completely unsure if Spencer would be alive in the morning, and the mornings weren’t much better. All they did was remind you that he wasn’t there, when you had to wake up in an empty bed.

By all accounts, you were finding it hard to keep up hope. You just missed him so much, and nothing you did would make it better.

The two of you had just gotten married a few weeks ago and now, you weren’t even sure you’d be able to see him again without a sheet of plexiglass between you.

If you didn’t figure this out before long, there was a chance he’d be in there for life. Based on what Prentiss had told you, he’d be lucky if he got twenty-five years.

That was hardly what you’d been expecting when you said I do, especially not after all of the years that you had known him.

You were sure Spencer wasn’t that kind of guy, and that was because he wasn’t.

You knew that, they all knew that, but proving it wasn’t going to be so easy. Thankfully, that wasn’t your job. Your job was to be there for him, and that you could do.

Especially seeing as they’d recently cleared Spencer for visitors.

If nothing else, you would be able to see him for yourself, and make sure he was okay.

Or at least, breathing.

It would have been foolish of you to even entertain the idea that he could be okay after everything he’d been there. You certainly weren’t okay, so there was no possible way that he was.

Still, it did help to know that at least you could talk to him again. Anything would be better than struggling with the unknown.

For now, you just had to let that be enough.

It was a little victory, a small victory in a sea of crap, but a victory nonetheless.

It had to be enough, for your sake and his.

You didn’t know what you would do if it wasn’t.

~

You were practically shaking with nerves as you waited in the lobby for your turn at check in. It was a super tedious process but for some reason, this whole place had you on edge.

You couldn't imagine Spencer in here all the time, as unsettling as it was on this side, you shuddered to think about the other.

It was terrifying.

Still, before you could imagine just what fresh hell Spencer had to endure, it was your turn. Your identification and paperwork had all gone through and that meant you could see him now.

You had to follow some pretty strict guidelines and rules within the walls, but it was all worth it to see Spencer.

Frankly, you would do anything you could if it meant seeing him. At this point, there was very little you wouldn’t do. Getting to look him in the eye was all you wanted.

...And as it would turn out, that was the only thing you could have.

Within a matter of minutes, the man you loved came into view, along with a gaggle of other inmates.

He didn’t look good, of course, but that was to be expected. You had no idea if he’d been sleeping or eating. The stress of the last few days alone would be enough to cause that.

Spencer hadn’t been expecting you today, as best he knew, it was Garcia’s visiting day. That didn’t affect his relief to see you though, not in the least.

He’d missed you, so much that he didn’t even realize the severity of it until seeing you again.

You were beautiful.

There wasn’t a moment since he’d been in here that he hadn’t thought about you.

Every memory you two shared together were what was keeping him going, from your first date to how beautiful you looked on your wedding day.

He didn’t think it was possible to be more in love with you than that moment but Spencer was wrong.

Right now, being able to see you was a Godsend.

“Hey” you started, thought nothing felt like the appropriate greeting. You’d been thinking about what you would tell him if you got a chance, but now, there was nothing.

You were coming up empty.

Thankfully, Spencer was more than willing to just sit here, taking in every detail of your face. More than anything, he just wanted to see you.

It was a dream come true.

“I’d hug you but I don’t think it’s allowed” you added finally, before anything else. You could practically feel your skin itching to touch him, to hold him, but you just couldn’t.

Those sorts of things weren’t allowed in a place like this.

You supposed it was too human.

Spencer smiled, a small amount of joy evident on his face for the first time in a while. Without the glass separating you, this almost felt like all those other times before.

You would have pizzas and watch movies, with pleasant conversation scattered about, or crack jokes on dinner dates.

“It’s okay, I get it” he shrugged, not even bothering to drop his gaze from your face. Normally, he would have been bashful about it but not now.

Now, he wanted to take in even the most minor details of your face. This was all he had in here, after all.

“How are you doing? I mean, aside from the obvious” you wondered, you didn’t really know what else there was to say.

You couldn't talk about the outside while he was trapped in here, but you also didn’t want to know too much about the inside.

Your imagination was cruel enough.

“It’s only a couple months. How bad can it be?” he shrugged, asking the one question you wished he wouldn’t.

After all, that was what you were afraid of.

[jjmaybanksbaby]

Hi!! Can I request 31 and 27 from the fluff list?

FLUFF: 27. “You’re so pretty.”

31. “How is this so expensive? For barely any clothing?”

a/n: this request didn’t specify a character so im go with rafe for a change of pace because i live for a good “i hate everybody but you” trope and that's rafe as a boyfriend.

•••

It was obvious that Rafe was throwing you a surprise birthday party. He was trying his best to hid it but your boyfriend wasn’t exactly subtle about things. He’d been suspiciously sending text all week, intentionally angling his phone away from you. Or walking away to take a call so you wouldn’t hear what he was planning.

Plus, yesterday, you’d gotten Sarah to admit that Rafe had talked Ward into handing over the yacht for the night. Frankly, you adored Rafe’s family, excluding Ward. Sarah would be a freshman this year as you and Rafe started your own senior year and since didn’t have any siblings of your own Sarah and Wheezie had slowly become your almost-sisters. You didn’t even mind Rose. She always made sure to ask for your opinion on pizza toppings whenever you were staying for dinner.

Now it was the day before your birthday and you flipping through a rack of bathing suits at your favorite boutique. Shopping dates with Rafe always went the same. He'd complain about being dragged along in the beginning, following behind you like a semi-lost puppy. But by the second or third store, he'd be looking through racks handing you things he was sure would like good one you, offering his opinion on everything you tried on, or sneaking back into the dressing room to kiss you.

With a sufficient arm full of bikinis, you slipped into the dressing room. You tried on three different swimsuits before finding one you deemed good enough to show Rafe. You pulled back the dressing room curtains and Rafe's eyes went big as they scanned up and down your body. The striped bikini contrasted your summer tan perfectly.

"Damn (y/n)," Rafe whispered under his breath for only you to hear. "You’re so pretty."

You walked over to the trifold mirror in the corner, checking yourself out from all angles. Rafe came up behind you, his hands flying up to rest on your hips as if he couldn't stop himself. He placed a kiss on your neck electing a giggle out of you.

"Can I buy this for you for your birthday?" He asked, his eyes meeting yours in the mirror.

"Well..." you started. "I do already have a lot of bikinis and it's not like I have anywhere special to wear a new one." You watched as the corners of Rafe's mouth twitch, itching to give up his secret.

His hands grabbed onto the tag, checking the price. "How is this so expensive? For barely any clothing?" He paused a moment. "You know what?"

You raised your eyebrows in a wordless response.

"I don't care. I'm buying this for you because you look fucking hot in it. And I can tell you want it too. So happy early birthday, baby."

You laughed at his candidness.

"Now go change. I'm hungry." He said, slapping your butt and sending you back in the direction of the changing room.

[highwaydiamonds]

I was tagged by the spiffy @mountainmaven

fave colour = Rainbow Glitter or I guess maybe pale aqua? i don't really have a solid favorite. It changes a lot.

currently reading = Greenwich Park by Katherine Faulkner

last song = Inside Out by POSTDATA (their newest release from last year and it kicks ass)

sweet/spicy/savoury = i like them all. i like sweet and spicy together too. it just depends on the mood i'm in.

fave alc drink = i like a good paloma a lot - but i'm v changeable - as long as i don't taste the booze i'm happy. (in a mixed drink anyway. but i'm more often going to be having wine or cider)

currently working on = lol trying to figure what the hell i'm doing with my life hehheh... heh >.<

traditional or modern = eclectic - antique stuff but comfortable and colorful soft furnishings- a happy mix

fave writer = Jane Austen,

fave dessert = ooh this is hard - i love creme brulee but uhhh i also love a decadent cake with some chocolate ganache in it or some sort of lemon raspberry cheesecake..

fave rapper = uhhhhhhh idk man - i'll let you know when i have one?

fave soccer/hockey/tennis player = i don't have one? Like if i named one of the few players i could think of ( I can think of a very few) it wouldn't really be because they were my " favorite" it would just be "i know of their name and maybe a couple things?" so I'll abstain.

fave politician = ever??? or now? Maxine waters is p dang cool - I appreciate Alexandria Occasio-Cortez decently... Shirley Chisholm was a kick ass politician... But is this open to people who might not have held politial office but were activists? Because Dolores Huerta is p dang cool.

colour of bedroom = ideally I like somewhat lighter colors- because i like colorful cheets and pillows... either warmish white or light light yellow or light robin's egg blue, or light light pink - because those lighter tones i feel like are easier to work with

loyalty or lust = i mean por que no los dos??? but in terms of more than romantic relationships : loyalty. In terms of romantic ones - I want both! I feel like I have some very loyal people - i'm over due on people lusting after me frankly lol - i would like to correct that balance a bit ok???

pizza or pasta = i hate this choice. this should not be an OR question. But I make pasta too often to go without pasta, s i guess pasta. (But Pizza - I LOVE YOU- don't leave me!!)

are you vegan or veggie = nah, I like some vegan and quite a bit of vegetarian options but i eat eggs and honey and meat.

fave time period = This is just for historical and aesthetic reasons ( because lbr i don't want to live in a time without all the technological advantages and antibiotics I can get) Latter half of the 18th century ( particularly French style) and the British Regency period (Georgian stuff is my fucking JAM ok?), late victorian and some edwardian period stuff, Ancient Rome - under Augustus through Marcus Aurelius, the Dutch golden age ( especially for art), the 1950s for fashion was amazing, and probably more - i mean i love some stuff from ancient egypt - but that's way too long to be " a period" and i can't narrow down particular dynasties or kingdoms, nd same with some ancient mesopotamian stuff.

love or hate = they don't say it's hate that makes the world go round - so clearly the answer is LOVE, LOVE, LOVE. It's easy. (just ask Paul and Ringo.)

last series watched = I'm always watching several things. Handmaid's Tale, House of the Dragon, The Serpent Queen, Interview with a Vampire, I just binged Dark Winds, and there are other things i've just watched the odd episode of but not stuck onto.

classical or rock music = I guess on balance, rock? But I'm not sure that what i listen to is necessarily "rock" music... I listen to a lot of stuff but I guess it's closer to rock than it is classical - but calling it rock feels weird?

fairy or dragon = Fairy. Dragons are fun but I am way more into fairies. Plus i'd rather have a gryphon than a dragon, unless dragons are extra friendly. (Like w/ GoT and HotD I enjoy the people and political machinations - I'm not as psyched about dragons)

GOT or LOTR = In terms of the books - I read all of LotR and watched all the films. I haven't read any of the ASoIaF books, while idid watch all of GoT and am currently watching House of the Dragon... I also don't know that i will ever read the ASoIaF books... Idk maybe i will in time, we'll see. I enjoy both but I'm not sure I'm a diehard for either.

Okay, so I'mma tag: @seashells-and-bookshelves , @theselkiesea , @usedtobeanothername , @waitingtogethome , and @ndb-123 ! No pressure if i did tag you, and if i didn't, consider yourself tagged if you'd like!

[nincompoopydoo]

PAIRING, BAGELS, REPEAT

— I’VE SEEN FIRE, I’VE SEEN RAIN ; PART 2 / ?

PAIRING: Bruce Wayne x reader

WORD COUNT: 1909

SUMMARY: Being laid off isn’t very fun but Bruce tends to find himself even more entangled in your life, including his alter ego—Batman.

A/N: I’m loving this series and if you are, feedback is appreciated. Thank you for reading my crappy stuff aka my daydreams <3

WARNINGS: Guns! Death threats! Crying! A mental breakdown!

MASTERLIST ; MASTERPOST

James Taylor’s Fire and Rain plays like a funeral hymn on the record player, echoing through your studio apartment. You’re sitting on the ground, back against the ratty couch with a pizza box on your lap. You take a bite of a BBQ Chicken pizza slice, furiously wiping your tears away as you replayed the events from six hours ago. From being called to the principal's office to only be told that you’re one of the non-tenured teachers to be laid off due to cutbacks. Gotham High was...a tough school. The students were mean to you because well, you're young and always gave them the benefit of the doubt. Plus, you taught English Literature and frankly, your students didn’t exactly enjoy the subject as much as you wanted them to. Nevertheless, you’re devastated. Teaching was a dream of yours, and it’s being taken away from you. You cried all the way back home, tried to call your mother but it kept going to voicemail. You must have called someone else, but you don’t remember and couldn’t care less to check your phone—the whole day went by like a blur.

Then, there’s a sound. An insistent buzz, it’s the doorbell. You furrow your brows, not recalling ordering anything else other than the large pizza from Domino’s. Yet, it doesn’t cease, and you’re forced to bring yourself to stand on your feet, instinctively flattening your tousled hair to make yourself seem somewhat presentable. Like, you’re doing fine and you have everything completely under control. Maybe, you did call your mother, and she’s at the door. You’re hoping she is although she’s going to kill you for the mess.

Another buzz and you’re toddling across the wooden flooring and towards the doorway. It’s starting to become infuriating by the second, like a house fly don’t won’t stop bugging you. Considering the mood you’re in, it doesn’t take much to tick you off. Swinging the door open, you expected to see the radiant face of your mother but to your surprise, it’s not.

It’s Bruce.

Shit.

You haven’t seen him in two weeks.

You nearly choke at the sight of him in a slightly crumpled oxford blue dress shirt, sleeves rolled up, hair as much of a mess as yours and tired eyes staring down at you with concern. You note how Bruce is very charming, no matter how disarrayed he is. Meanwhile, you’re realizing the current state must be a little startling. Your eyes are probably bloodshot, hair still in a tangled mess and glaring tomato stains everywhere on your GCU t-shirt. This is such a low point for you.

“Bruce,” you say, voice raising an octave with wide eyes as you stare at him like he’s grown another head, “What are you doing here?” His frown is immediate, seemingly confused by your question. “You called me.” He gestures to his phone within his grasp. “It sounded bad even though I couldn’t make out what you were saying half of the time,” He chuckles and holds up a familiar looking paper bag “So, I got you bagels. Three of them. Thought you could use some of these.”

It takes a second or two for you to finally process what he just told you before your emotionally wrecked brain decides to do the most irrational thing ever—You just start sobbing. You’re crying so hard that it terrifies Bruce. He blinks, thoughts racing. The sight of you in complete misery strikes him like a punch to his gut and for the first time, he doesn’t know what to do. Not immediately. Yet, through glassy eyes, you manage to notice the way his face dropped and morphed into pure horror. Justification is key, you don’t want to weird him out and think you’re crazy. You wave your hand in the air dismissively, rubbing your eyes as you spoke between strangled sobs. “I’m sorry, it’s been a tough day and that’s the nicest thing anyone has ever done for me all week.”

Oh.

Your words are a tug to the heartstrings, and it sends his head reeling but relief was all that overwhelmed him. Bruce would never wish to see you hurt, especially when it’s caused by him. Actions of affection were primarily reserved for those closest to him, but he never experienced the urge to be intimate and care so much for a person ever since his parents died. Yet, out of everyone, you’re the one that brings out the most in him. Moving closer to you, he reaches and pulls you in a hesitant embrace. You stiffened at the mere touch of his arms around you, unsure of what to do with yourself.

Sure, you had a fair share of intimate moments with the man but this, this was different. You couldn’t shake the thought of how something so warm felt so right, smelt right. Despite the fact you had been trying to suppress your feelings for Bruce, and this was doing the exact opposite of that, you can’t help but feel this was what you needed at the moment. So, you let your body sag, muscles becoming loose and you let yourself truly cry for the first time.

You end up inviting him in later, when your tears are dry. You eat two of the bagels, sharing the last one with him. You called a peace offering, a gift of appreciation, for the whole emotional massacre you unexpectedly shoved at him. He simply laughs, eyes crinkling with fondness. He thinks you’re beautiful, especially when your hair is wild, laughing like you don’t have a care in the world. It’s what keeps him grounded, to know you’re raw and very real. The next thing you know, you end up shuffling cards of UNO until the wee hours of the morning—exchanging knowing smiles and Bruce trying to pick a Wild Draw card from the deck to get you to lose. But, he lets you win anyway.

He slept on your couch that night, still in his dress shirt. You must've peeked a glance at his sleeping form, squeezed onto the couch that’s clearly too small for him. Cute. You snap a picture before heading to bed. For blackmail purposes, of course.

-

You end up working a night shift at a burger joint called Big Belly Burger somewhere in midtown. Your first week comes and goes, and you’re starting to hate how your uniform itches and how the restaurant can get really filthy by the end of the day. Yet, it’s the kids from Cameron Kane High that come after school that keeps you going because it makes you miss being a teacher even though they tend to leave a mess after a meal.

Thursday comes and you’re exhausted. Even so, you’re thankful it’s a slow night. You’ve done all your cleaning duties earlier on and Lucie, the manager went out to buy a pack of cigarettes from the convenience store around the corner. Hence, it’s just you, slumped against the counter, devouring a Triple Belly Burger.

You’re half way through the burger when you hear the door swing open. Expecting to see Lucie, you turned around to see two men brandishing handguns your way. “Everything from the register, now!” The taller masked man shouted, gun gesturing to the cash register. Your eyes are wide, and you can feel your chest heaving. There was no way you’ll be able to fight them. Not two of them with guns pointed at you.

The burger drops from your hand and so does your heart. With trembling hands, you slide the drawer of the cash register open and begin pulling out dollar notes. From the corner of your eye, you spot your phone on the counter, close enough for you to make an emergency call. Your eyes scan the two men wearily and with every ounce of courage you had left, you managed to unlock your phone, pulled up the messaging app and texted the first name on the list: Bruce Wayne.

help, was all you managed to say.

To say your luck ran out was an understatement; you were never lucky anyway. One of the robbers must have caught on to what you were doing and just as the call goes through, he snatches your phone away, throws it onto the ground and shoots it.

So close, yet so far.

You don't know if the message got through.

The muzzle is now inches away from your forehead, and you hear the cock of the gun. “Don’t you dare pull somethin’ funny like or I’ll blow your brains out. Give us the money, now.” It was in that moment, your tears give way and your life flashes before your eyes. You pray for a miracle, a savior.

Then, you see him.

A looming figure appears by the doorway and your breath hitches. It’s Batman, looking like a Goddamn angel. The robbers seem to realize this too, guns quickly directed towards the vigilante. He launches batarangs to the pair of men and immediately disarms them. In a flash, he knocks them out, unconscious bodies dropping to the ground like dead flies.

You stare at him in awe although he’s very frightening and intimidating but Batman...just saved you. Now, this is a story you’re going to be telling everybody until the day you die. He approaches you with caution, and you instinctively take a step back. Then, he calls you by your name like it’s second nature. You stare at him with blank amazement, brows raised.

“You know my name?” Your voice dwindled; It’s so soft and timid you hardly hear yourself. Despite the mask, the vigilante looks like his brain just short-circuited for a moment. He clears his throat.

“...Bruce has mentioned you.”

You ignore how his synthetic voice makes every hair on the back of your neck stand and the familiarity that struck for a split second when he said your name because you’re too wrapped up with the fact that Bruce has discussed about you to his other ‘best friend’ as one might call it. Brooding over this lump of a thought, the corner of your mouth twitches. “He did?” you say with a hint of affection. It’s hard to read the man under the mask, whoever he was but you’re certain he looked taken aback by your response. Maybe, it was the way you delivered it—the longing in the very core of the expression. You may have outed your feelings for Bruce to...Batman.

This doesn’t get any stranger than that.

“Yes,” he replies curtly, and you hear the police sirens afar. “Are you hurt?” Like the true caretaker of Gotham, he wants to be sure you haven’t been injured. You shake your head, lips pressed together. The whaling of the police sirens grow louder, lights of red and blue flashing before your eyes. He appears like a shadow against the glaring lights from the police cruisers and before you can blink, he flees with a muttered ‘Goodnight’ and disappears before the police come flooding in and does Lucie. The poor woman looked at with frantic eyes as soon as she glimpsed the two men on the ground, groaning in pain.

The glint of the batarang on the floor captures your attention, you smile at this.

You may or may not have taken it back to your apartment that currently sits proudly on the bookshelf in your living room.

You’re so telling Bruce.

TAGLIST:

@raineeace