#plus he's lived long enough to know what works and what doesn't... for the most part

[tsuutarr]

I find the love god to be both absolutely terrifying and hilarious at the same time. His soulmate comes back as a worm? Build a luxurious terriaum with tons of leaves for them to feast on. Soulmate is now someone's pet golden retriever? Time to steal them off of the family's front lawn and build them a nice dog house away from society. A trout? The God has gone fishing with an industrial fish tank in tow. It'd actually probably be pretty nice....whenever the soulmate isn't human. When human it's just this insane guy randomly showing up and refusing to leave you alone while insisting that he's a god.

Yeah, whenever Reader is reincarnated, Aizono takes really good care of Reader regardless of what form Reader takes! Tbh having a god take care of your every need must be sooo nice lmao

That said, it'd still be nice to have Aizono take care of you when you're human too imo because he wouldn't just assert that he's a god out of nowhere lol

It'd mostly depend on the situation, but in modern times, he'll assimilate into society and try to woo you naturally. Of course, if he can't woo you naturally, he'll just whisk you away to his palace, which might not be as nice but hey, at least you don't have to worry about bills, rent, or groceries!

But yeah, Aizono is the type of guy who's super devoted and usually tries not to be forceful if he doesn't have to be (he's the type of yandere that rather use his brain than brawn).

He'll be careful to make sure you won't be too scared or wary of him and will try to build up a bond between you two naturally. Since he knows you two are bound for eternity, he's not in as much of a rush as other yanderes. Of course, in the backdrop, he'll eliminate any potential suitors (usually by pairing them with someone else, though he's not above disposing of them entirely).

Kidnapping and showing that he's a god is usually lower on his priority list. His priorities lie in making sure you like him/aren't wary of him, like to spend time with him, and rely on him. He prefers manipulating the situation so that you WANT to stay with him.

(here's a doodle of Aizono and worm!reader <3)

[koolaidoverwriting]

GENERAL DATING HEADCANONS

CHARACTERS: Eyeless Jack, Jeff the Killer, Gender Neutral Reader

Request. I wasn't sure if you meant Jack x Jeff. I stuck to separate SFW and NSFW headcanons. But you can send another ask to clarify! :)

CW: Explicit Sexual Content, But Also Romantic Fluffy Stuff, Blood, Self-Harm, Cannibalism, Biting, Not Graphic

NSFW UNDER CUT! MINORS DNI!

EYELESS JACK

SFW:

Jack doesn't feel as much empathy or sympathy as other people. It definitely takes a long time for him to warm up to you, let alone get comfortable enough to date you.

Jack is an outlier in the mansion. He likes being alone, doing his own thing. Plus, a lot of people don't like his bluntness and sarcasm.

His tar spills faster when he's upset, but it's pretty much gone when he's happy. That's why he hardly cries tar around you.

He has a hard time showing affection through his words, but you know he loves you. Sometimes, he just pops up and holds your hand, or wraps his arms around you.

When you're hurt, he tends to your wounds, cooks you warm meals, and stays by your side. It's a mutual silence where you're just enjoying each others' presence.

Jack is a bookworm. You spot the books he reads and you check them out. Jack is over the moon when you randomly reference his favourite book. "Did you really read that for me?"

Surprisingly, Jack talks a lot. He rants about his interests in gardening and science.

Speaking of gardening, he'll most definitely grow your favourite flowers for you. He'd give you handmade bouquets and flower crowns, as well as perfumes and scented candles.

Jack isn't against light–hearted teasing. He says flirty things just to catch you off guard since you aren't used to it. Most of these "flirty things" are phrases he heard from TV shows.

He does try to get you to try kidneys. If you refuse it because it's raw, he'll cook it for you. If you refuse it because it's gross, he'll shrug a shoulder and eat it himself.

NSFW:

Jack is gentle with you. He knows how much smaller you are in comparison, so he makes sure he doesn't bruise you.

If you allow it, he'll bite you enough to draw blood, but nothing more.

His ears are sensitive! Licking or biting them gets him all worked up.

Jack has three tongues that overlap in his mouth, meaning he's a fucking demon with oral sex. His tongues squirm inside of you, hitting all the right spots. He could eat you out for hours before substituting his tongues for his cock.

When he sees you're close, he only fucks you harder.

Jack's cock doesn't fit inside you all the way. Your senses leave you, and you're a drooling, blubbering mess as he rams into your entrance.

After you're done, he'll clean up any blood that spilled and kiss your bite marks. While cuddling, he asks you what you want to eat. He'll cook anything for you.

JEFF THE KILLER

SFW:

Jeff lives in the mansion and has been living there since he was 17. Before that, he lived with a blind old woman who thought he was her grandson.

Dating him means you're going to have to get used to his angry outbursts until he learns how to control them better. He tends to lash out and then apologise later. You're sure with enough patience, things might get better. Especially because you know he's trying his best.

He loves emo music. In fact, he collects merchandise from the concerts he sneaks into. At night, you get to cuddle with Jeff while some emo song blasts on his speaker.

He also plays the electric guitar and would love to teach you how to play. And if you already know how to play, he'll get really excited about duetting with you.

Jeff has had self-esteem issues since the incident. He tries everything to make himself "beautiful", taking extensive care of his skin, hair and clothes.

He believes the scar makes him look better, maybe because it distracts from other parts of his face he's insecure about. He refreshes his cut every month.

You have to remind him that he's beautiful just the way he is. There are nights where you argue over it, but you try everything you can to help him overcome his insecurities — or at least accept his flaws.

He has a knife collection. He paints the handles of his knives all different colours. Some days, you could sit and talk with Jeff while you paint knife handles together.

"Can I test the sharpness on you?" "What?" "...I'm joking."

Jeff isn't a good cook. He never put time into learning how to cook. You, knowing he has to learn at some point, convince him you're on a "cooking date" whenever you want to teach him how to make a meal.

NSFW:

I already have a NSFW post for Jeff, but these are softer alternatives for when he's in a relationship.

Known fact: Jeff will use his knife during sex. He enjoys grazing it across your skin, smiling at your "cute" reactions.

The tip of the knife scratches your thighs. Your legs twitch as he looks into your eyes with a needy look.

Jeff likes seeing your desperation. He loves it when you grind against him, begging for his cock. He'll keep his hands off you, forcing you to grind helplessly. "Horny little bitch... Yeah, tell me how much you want me."

He fucks you at a rough, unstable rhythm as he tries to reach his peak. When he's in the zone, it's only his orgasm that matters to him.

Jeff mutters profanities under his breath with almost every thrust. It's a mixture of praise and degradation. "Fuck... D–Damn slut... You feel so fucking good..."

For aftercare, he doesn't do much. Just small things like giving you water and cuddling with you in bed. It's simple and it's nice.

!!! i'm very sorry if you meant "jack x jeff"! feel free to let me know in another ask, though!

[ckret2]

So y'all know the Gravity Falls production bible that leaked three weeks ago. Someone in one of my discord servers pointed this out:

And, naturally, that spawned an entire AU.

AU Concept: Ford was kicked out instead of Stan and takes a job as a trucker to makes ends meet since he couldn't go to college, while still studying the weird and anomalous however he can.

Ford driving around from quirky small town to quirky small town, drifting through the liminal spaces of truck stops, meeting odd people in isolated diners, seeing strange things out on the road—a deer with too many eyes bounding across a two-lane highway, a flirty woman at a rest stop who doesn't blink or breathe, mysterious lights in the sky at night, inhuman growls on the CB or 50-year-old broadcasts on the radio—and taking notes when he stops for gas or food.

Aside from having gotten kicked out before graduating high school, Ford's the same person he is in canon.

He's still an ambitious guy, and here "ambitious" means working hard and saving as much money as he can—so, a long haul owner-operator who spends weeks at a time on the road. (He goes through a LOT of educational audiobooks.) Plus, this is the easiest way for him to get to travel the country; and since it looks like his "travel the world" dreams with Stan are dead, he'll take what he can get.

Since he's never in the same spot long and carries his life in a truck, almost all of Ford's research is in his journal. His bag of investigation supplies has an instant camera, a portable tape recorder, a thermometer, a flashlight, rubber gloves, and a few zip lock bags—and that's about it. It has to share space with all his clothes, toiletries, and nonperishable food when he's on the road. He doesn't have much opportunity to closely examine anything odd he finds, unless he's lucky enough to run into something when he can stop for the night. He has to cram his paranormal research around the side of his full-time job.

He doesn't live in Gravity Falls, but he knows it exists. Every time he moves—to Chicago, to Nebraska, to California—he seems to inch closer. He currently lives in Portland and usually hauls loads between the Pacific Northwest and Chicago or New York. He stops at the truck stop outside Gravity Falls when he can and has gone fishing in town a few times. He doesn't have the benefit of extensive research to know that this is the weirdest town in the world; but it seems pretty weird to him, there are local rumors about the town, and he's had some weird experiences in the area.

Plus, he can't explain it, but it's like the town's calling to him. He wants to move there, but it'd put him over an hour outside of Portland where the nearest jobs are. Maybe if somebody chucked him like $100k to build a cabin in the woods; but what are the odds of that?

He does know Fiddleford. Truck broke down somewhere and Fiddleford kindly pulled over to fix it on the fly. They looked at each other, had mutual knee-jerk "dumb trucker/hillbilly" reactions, and within ten minutes both went "oh wait you're the most brilliant genius i've ever met." Fiddleford's living the same life he was in canon before Ford called him to Gravity Falls—with his family in California, trying to start a computer company out of his garage—but they make friends and keep in contact.

One time Ford stops at a kitschy roadside knickknack store that also sells new agey magic things—crystals, tarot cards, incense, etc. He bought a "lucky" rearview mirror ornament that looks like an Eye of Providence in a top hat and hung it from his cab fan, and ever since then he's had weird dreams whenever he sleeps in his truck.

Things I don't know yet: what Stan's up to; or why Ford's the one who got kicked out. I tend to believe that in canon Stan wasn't just kicked out because he ruined Ford's college prospects, but rather because the family thought he deliberately sabotaged Ford; so in this AU, Ford would've been kicked out over a proportionate crime.

[shanastoryteller]

HAPPY VALENTINES DAY SHANA!!!! IT IS 6 AM AND DRUNKELY TRYING TO PUT A SENTENCE TOGETHER 😭 I NEED PERCY AND TONKS AND THEN EVERYTHING WILL BE ALRIGHT 💖💖💖

Dolores Umbridge is a lot of things, but she isn't careless.

Percy's life would be a lot easier if she was.

"What's wrong?" Tonks asks as he paces the length of their living room.

"What makes you think anything's wrong?" he returns, although it's mostly rhetorical. His hair is probably a mess considering he's been running his hands through it and his job doesn't normally reduce him to pacing.

She shifts, blocking his path so he has no choice but to stop in front of her. Or go around her, and he hasn't been quite pushed to that point yet. She reaches up and smooths his hair back from his face into something close to how he usually styles it. "You're home before me. What's going on?"

He has a lot of opinions on the distribution of government secrets, none of which apply to Tonks. She's smart, she's loyal, and she would never betray him. Plus, technically, her clearance is higher than his anyway. He's never been legally allowed to know most of what he does. "Fudge is sick of the bad press and blaming Dumbledore so he's going to shoehorn in one of his people for the defense position."

She frowns. "Not anyone from our department then."

No, although an auror would make the most sense. But Kingsley has always been Amelia's and frankly Fudge wouldn't risk giving the position to any of her reports, direct or not. "I'm considering recommending Dolores."

"Implementing some new child hating policies?" she asks.

He rolls his eyes. "I can't outmaneuver her while she's here. She's got Fudge's ear and half the ministry is in her pockets. I'm trying to be careful about this, but she keeps getting in my way. She hasn't stayed in power this long by being sloppy, unfortunately. But if she's busy playing government stooge at Hogwarts-"

"Then you have some breathing room," Tonks finishes. "Well, it's not like the kids haven't been taught by worse. Man, some of the defense professors I had - at least the past few years' worth have sort of known what they were doing."

True, although unfortunately two of the better ones had been either possessed by Voldemort or working for him. It's too bad they can't get Lupin in there permanently, but even if they could get him past Fudge and the board a second time, he won't even consider it until Voldemort is dead for good. Something to consider for a later time, perhaps.

"She's going to give them hell," he says. He's talking about all the students, but he's specifically thinking of his brothers and Harry and Hermione and all their friends. Especially Harry. Dolores already hates him and Harry has the self preservation instincts of a phoenix.

Tonks grabs the front of his shirt and tugs him close enough to kiss. She's taller than usual and he tilts his head back, feeling some of the tension drain out of him as she digs her thumbs into his hips. "Better make it worth it, then."

He will.

[boosandbirds]

One fic I’ve been wanting to see is a dead silent masquerade ball.

Living or dead, she's the most beautiful girl Danny has ever seen.

Hair framing her face, dark eyes behind a black and gold mask, ankle-length dress glittering like just starlight, and trust him, he would know. He's flown out far enough from earth to get a pretty good look at them, without even a drop of light pollution, and-

Focus, Danny, he tells himself. Fancy Gala hosted by the Wayne family, masquerade ball, full of people he doesn't know, possible vigilantes and rogues a foot.

Cassandra Cain, the most beautiful girl Danny’s ever laid his eyes on.

And suddenly, he wishes he had paid more attention to Sam’s lectures. Sure, she's still here somewhere -- broken up or not, Danny doesn't mind pretending to be her plus one -- but he can't just ask her for a repeat. It’s one thing to listen to a detailed presentation on the Waynes before going to one of their famous galas, and something else entirely to ask about them in their own gala.

And really, Danny has never claimed to have any sense of self-preservation.

Really! Just look at his extracurricular, and the two girlfriends he's had. Sam Manson, who terrifies him to this day, and Valerie Gray, who kicked his ass more than once. And if it doesn't go well, then he's got a mask covering half of his face, and no one will ever have to know!

So Danny keeps his chin up, and when it looks like her current dance partner is tiring, he swoops right in.

"Can I have this dance, Miss Starlight?"

Her mask, and the attached drapery, hides most of her face, but there's no hiding the way she tilts her head. "Starlight?" She says, and her voice is soft. "My name is Cass."

Despite the correction, Cassandra- Cass takes his hand, and slips into the dance effortlessly. The song is a fast one, and she seems to know it well. Danny may have been the one asking her to dance, but he has no doubt that Cass is the one leading them. Her hand has crept down to the small of his back, firm, despite her gentle appearance.

Appearances can be deceiving, though. Danny knows that more than anyone.

"Hi, Cass!" He says, smiling behind his mask. "I'm Danny. Did you know your dress looks like starlight? Like, it seriously looks like starlight."

He gets the impression that she's smiling. "Mhm. It was not intentional." Cass takes the opportunity to dip him, supporting his body as though he weighs nothing at all. "Starlight suits you more than me."

Her dress is sparkled with bits of silver. Danny's got earrings shaped like stars and silver cufflinks and the mask Sam had bought him has a moon painted carefully below the eye.

The name could work for either of them, and well-

"If that's what Miss Cass thinks, I won't disagree," Danny says, grinning. He counts it as a victory when she laughs. "Now, this is making a lot of assumptions, and I know you probably have more socializing to do and more important people to talk to than a plus one from Illinois-"

"Starlight," Cass interrupts, "keep dancing with me?"

"I'll dance with you as long as you want me to," he says. "Just don't get mad at me when I end up stepping on your feet."

Her responding laugh is the most beautiful thing Danny's ever heard.

[immortalityforthegoddess]

𝐊𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐨𝐟 𝐁𝐮𝐬𝐚𝐧 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐜𝐚𝐧𝐨𝐧𝐬

Alright this is what everyone voted for! Baek sang will be next 🦈

W A R N I N G S • NSFW • SFW • Manipulation • Jinrang Gang • Soft Jinrang • Possessive • And more!

• Jinrang is very welled mannered but swears like a sailer

• Jinrang is a very quiet man because he doesn't see the use of talking so much. Of course that doesn't go for you, you have a reasoning! Keep him intertaned.

• Your friends/family were shocked to meet Jinrang. He's literally a fucking tank. Your family has wanted to meet the man that buys you diamonds like they are just an every other day gift, but Lord.

• Your friends/family probably didn't know how to act, with jinrang being so quiet but his presence having so much power and authority.

• Jinrang, on the other hand, wasn't fazed at all. He was his normal chill, calm, laid-back self.

• Imagine your friends/family shocked when they learned of who he is. King of Busan.

• Jinrang wouldn't really have a 'type' mainly because he doesn't like labels.

• When you're in a relationship with Jinrang, then it has to be official; like I said, man doesn't like labels. But! Whenever he says you're his, it's not a label, it's simply a fact.

• When you first move in together, he makes it clear that rent, bills and food are all on him and that's final.

• Jinrang would differently be the type who doesn't care if you work or not but makes it known that your paycheck goes to you and you only. When you live together, he pays for everything.

• Jinrang is the type to let you decorate the house however you like, as long as it feels like home to you.

• He would 100% be a workaholic but always tried to make time for you as well.

• You're married to the king of Busan, the Jinrang gang are your besties. Baek sang and you fight for the attention of jinrang a lot even though he is YOUR husband.

• Jinrang is the type to just stare you down when a fight occurs between you two and than just walk away. He's not being rude, he just thinks you need space!

• Jinrang rarely ever wears ties because they make him feel suffocated. But will wear one if you beg enough.

• Jinrang will comfort you when your upset by simply sitting there quietly and listening to you. If your to the point of snacking and hyper ventilating than he'll sit you on his lap and just hold you.

• when you're on your period and are having bad cramps, he'll try and help by offering sex, he had red something about sex being the most accurate thing when it came to getting rid of cramps, if you refuse than he'll by you lots of medicine and chocolate.

• Jinrang is a very overprotective person when it comes to his crew and family. You being his wife, that especially extends to you; he won't let you leave the house by yourself after 8:00; when he leaves for business, and you can't come, there will always be someone from the Jinrang gang there to check up on you.

• he enjoys it when you and his pack get along. It's like a sigh of relief when he sees how well you fit in. His crew is his pack, his family so yes, they do mean a lot to him.

• Jinrang gets jealous. It's not that he doesn't trust you, it's that he doesn't trust the world.

• While he had never not wanted kids, he also has never seen himself having kids. Due to his past and all his trauma he more than likely say yes to have kids like it's nothing but inside he is freaking out, wondering how to be the best father he could be.

- 𝐍𝐒𝐅𝐖 -

• Jinrang is very gentail in bed. Well...as gentail as he can be, being built like a tank and having the cock size of nearly your forearm.

• Jinrang tries his best not to get needy or too hard, he knows that the after math of him filling up your insides are are painful to say the least, not to mention you can't walk for literal days. And even than a limp is clear as day.

• Jinrang is always at least half hard, you found it's just his nature. Plus, it's not his fault; look at you.

• Jinrang isn't one to use dildos or anything of the sort. Won't need a machine when he has a monster in his pants. (Sorry not sorry 😎)

• While Jinrang doesn't like getting anything other than you and him involved in bed, he doesn't mind when you wear lingerie. He finds it sexy.

• He enjoys moments when during sex, your so cock drunk you can only say his name.

• He's found himself getting hard all over again after sex when he sees you gentaily rubbing your sore, swollen private parts.

• If you're on your period and having bad cramps, and you do say yes to sex, he'll be so gentle and soft. Use your period blood as lube for when he enters.

• He very much loves when he can just eat you out. You on your back, legs up and around his shoulders, as his head is in between your legs, licking, biting, sucking your needy and wet folds. Gentail kisses around your entrance and on it.

• Jinrang LOVES your boobs. They're like big soft pillows. He enjoys sucking and biting your poor nipples. Leaving dark hickeys and bit marks along your them.

• Jinrang hates being interrupted during sex. One time, your friend called while he was balls deep inside of you; he proceeded to answer the call, then started pounding into you while holding the phone in his hand near you, making you scream and cry his name over and over until you orgasmed on call. Your friend was very traumatized, to say the least.

• Jinrang would be the type to manipulate his spouse into doing what he wants. You don't want sex? He's been away for so long, all he asks is for a bit of love but in a more nonchalant type of way.

• Jinrang is just as possive as he is protective. Your his to protect, provide and care for in any means necessary. So in bed he makes sure your needs and wants are always met no matter how needy he may be.

• The aftercare is very good. Cuddles, bath, more cuddles. He is very sweet and makes sure you have everything you want. He'll bring you snacks and rub your sore legs.

• he'll literally do anything for you. It doesn't matter if he is tired or anything; your wish is his command.

• overall, Jinrang and his past trauma would try very hard to take care of you, but also, sure, you didn't feel like you were on a leash. His crew/pack also approved of you which calmed his nerves a lot.

[saintzweig]

nsfw patrick zweig x camgirl!reader

–based on this blurb PART TWO HERE

– wrote this with 5 hours of sleep, not proofread because i'm lazy so i apologize in advance for the mistakes or if its shitty :3 wasn't actually going to write this but i couldn't stop thinking about it sooo

it was 3pm on a thursday, you were sat in your history class bored out of your mind. it was your last class of the week and it had only half an hour left but with the way your professor was droning on and on about god knows what, you couldn't wait to get out of here fast enough. 

you had a live scheduled in two hours, as well. you needed enough time to rest and freshen up before you turn your camera on. you did live cams anonymously on some sketchy website just to get by, a cam girl if you will. you grew up in a strict religious household so you've never thought you'd end up doing this but desperate times call for desperate measures, it was an easy way out of your financial problems. plus, if you were careful enough no one would have to find out. its not like you were going to do this forever, only until you graduate and find a job with a decent pay. by then, your account will be deleted and forgotten about, as if it never existed in the first place. 

your mindless scribbling was interrupted when your professor called your name. "l/n, zweig"

your head snapped up to the front and then to patrick zweig who sat two rows infront of you. 

"your presentation will be a week from now, your topic will be on the reconstruction. i expect you'll do a thorough research." 

you quickly wrote down the details as your professor dismissed the class, students rushing to get out of the room while you stayed behind to gather your things. before you knew it, patrick stood infront of you. his backpack slinging over one shoulder and his hands in his pockets. 

you didn't know patrick zweig, you knew of him. a great, cocky tennis player who was supposed to go pro after juniors but his friends, art and tashi, convinced him to accept his standford offer. so he'll have something to fall back on if things don't go to plan. 

you've heard people talk about him, how he's reckless in his plays yet he keeps winning. how he doesn't do anything in class yet he keeps passing. you had to stop yourself from sighing in front of him, is he going to make you do everything? 

"y/n, right?" you've never heard him talk before, atleast not anywhere near you so you were surprised that his voice sounded ... attractive. you took this time to actually look at him, he wore a plain white shirt and denim jeans, which isn't much but he made it look so good. his face was slightly scruffy, his nose statuesque and his pink lips was pulled into a slight smirk. you had no idea why his appearance made your heart beat faster than normal. 

the two of you discussed when to meet, deciding to do the work in your dorm every other day during his free time. so now, on friday evening, you were sat on your desk working on the outline for your project as you wait for him to arrive. 

not long after, there was a knock on your door and patrick entered in his tennis attire, carrying his equipment. "a single room?" he asked with his eyebrow raised, taking in the sight of your room. the white walls adorned with tapestry and posters, your bed covered in a pink bedding and your desk was cluttered with your study materials. 

"i got lucky" you sat on your chair as he settled on your bed, laying on his back in exhaustion. there was something familiar about your room, he just couldn't put his finger on it. has he been here before? did the two of you hook up and he had just forgotten about it? or maybe it's because most dorms look the same, it's probably just similar to tashi's. he put the thought on the back of his mind as you started to discuss your project with him. 

it went surprisingly well the first day, although patrick was stubborn, he knew he couldn't just skip on this project because he'll end up having to do it alone so he decided doing it with you now was the better option. the next day, he got too comfortable that he's so easily distracted. you started bribing him with his own pack of cigarettes, taking it from his hands and putting it under your thigh as the two of you sat across from each other on your bed. 

it was a little difficult to work with him, considering he's not so good at studying but it was fun, you had fun with him. he made jokes that you tried to keep a straight face on but end up laughing so hard your cheeks were starting to hurt. he keeps trying to flirt with you too, which just ends up with you scowling at him and slapping his arm. 

and as soon as he left, you turned your camera on and positioned yourself on your bed. normally, you would only strip and massage your body, never going as far as playing with yourself in front of your viewers. but this time, you couldn't stop thinking about patrick. how big his hands were compared to you, you imagined it wrapped around your wrist, or holding your waist, or choking you. the thought making you squeeze your thighs together. you made soft noises as your massaged your breasts, imagining what it would feel like to feel his hands cupping you. you felt yourself get wet as you pressed your fingers against the fabric of your panties.

tonight's live felt a bit more sensual, it was almost difficult to stop yourself from getting carried away but you needed to be careful. so after an hour, you turned the camera off and placed your laptop under your bed. as soon as you lay back, your hand found its way inside your white, lacy panties. you shiver as the pad of your pointer finger brushed against your sensitive clit, feeling the slick against your skin as your press against your cunt. 

you spent the next hour touching yourself to the thought of patrick using your body, feeling his lips against your skin, lapping up the juices leaking out of you. the sounds you were making were too pornographic that you had to place your hand over your mouth. your fingers covered in your juices as you desperately fucked yourself. it felt like a pretty sight to see that you almost regretted turning your camera off. 

you wanted someone to see you, you wanted him to see what he was doing to you. 

the next time he came over, he had just come straight from tennis practice. his skin was slightly moist with sweat and he wore shorts that rode up his legs when he sat on your bed. you couldn't focus on anything but his thighs. 

“you feeling alright? you're looking kinda red, zoning out too” you blushed, feeling like he just caught you red handed. 

you nod, “yeah, it's just a little hot” 

he smirked, telling you to take your shirt off if it's that hot, he wouldn't mind it at all. you rolled your eyes at his suggestion, turning your attention back to your laptop. you were tempted to do it, it took you everything in your body not to. even with your choice of work, you still had a little bit of self respect and discipline left. 

that night, you ended up touching yourself on camera for the first time. making yourself cum infront of your viewers while they had no idea you were thinking of patrick, again. having your lips on his skin, straddling his lap and feeling his bulge press against your clothed cunt, his hands on your breasts as you bounce on his cock. you made the highest amount of money you've ever made since you've started. but you made sure to tell them it was a one time thing. 

the next evening, was the day before your presentation. patrick was on his way over so the two of you can practice and prepare yourself for tomorrow. 

you bumped into him on your way to the communal bathroom, telling him to go right ahead. 

patrick entered your room, dropping his equipment by the door as usual. instead of laying in your bed like he always does, he sat on your chair. leaning back with his arms crossed as he observed the trinkets on your desk and the photos pinned on the corkboard. 

a few minutes later, you walked in and sat on your bed, facing him. he turned around in your chair to ask you something about the photos but the sight of you on your bed left him dumbfounded. the realization of why your room looks familiar finally came to him, the only reason it took him so long was because the only way he's ever seen it was through the camera, facing the exact direction he's looking at right now. 

you were the anonymous cam girl he had been jerking off to after your sessions, you were the girl he had just sent a hundred dollars to the night before. 

[stxneflxwers]

ideal.

⋯⁂ summary. your lover's ideal kind of date~

⋯⁂ charas. aventurine. dr ratio. jade. topaz. stelle.

aventurine

staying at home.

he loves staying home – wherever home may be, as long as it's with you. it's far less stressful than feeling like he needs to be constantly performing outside of the house.

games, movies, fancy dinner – hell, even just takeout for dinner works! all he wants is you around. then, the world is quieter. his mind is quieter.

he has to do a lot of talking day in and day out, so when it's nighttime with you around, on a date, he prefers to listen to you. even if all you have to offer is silence. he can't complain too much about some quiet time with you.

with these kind of dates, it's a little easier for him to fall asleep.

dr ratio

the museum.

of course, he's already been to so many museums throughout the cosmos. but, with you, it feels a lot more relaxing and...happifying. plus, he gets to impart his knowledge with you! if it's on your homeworld, then there are bonus points to be had.

he's quietly rambling to you a lot of the time, but his voice is low enough not to disturb other guests at the establishment. he almost sounds enchanted rather than stern – he's just really enjoying this, to share knowledge and history with you.

he's in his element, truly. and you're happy to see him so happy. the smiles he has, the giddy glint in his eyes... you revel in it. you know he's a little irritable, even grumpy, most days. so this is perfect for both of you, even if you're not paying attention that much – mostly because you can't stop staring at his joyful features.

of course, you end up purchasing plenty of little knickknacks at the small gift shop. one time you found a small golden duck pendant, and this is what you gifted to him the next day. he was both flabbergasted and playfully irritated. but, in truth, he adores it to bits.

jade

the boardwalk.

it's a calm enough activity, and she is mostly willing to buy anything that truly catches your eye as you pass by the many shop windows. she thinks it's quite adorable how your eyes will light up when you see something neat that panders to your interests.

you two will come to a slow halt, finding a drink stand to indulge in. she pays for it. and there are times where she silently wonders if you only love her for her money.

but then you do something remarkably stupid and she can't but snicker, almost falling in love all over again. she appreciates your silly moments – it reminds her that not every adult is greedy and devious.

there's you, after all – one in a million. besides, you say thanks to her every time she gets you something. and she can tell how heartfelt your gratitude is. mostly because you try to buy her things that she likes as a surprise. it's never a surprise to her, but she loves you for it all the same.

topaz

the café.

the café. one of Topaz's...many places she visits. she has a certain café in Pier Point that she loves to death. she'll tell you all about it, content with not discussing work or anything related to it for a while.

she's not the wisest when it comes to her own limits since she often goes above and beyond. but you're happy to remind her at any point in time. she might pout, though. she knows you're worried for her well-being in the end, though.

it's hard for her to not talk about work, unfortunately. but you have plenty of things to discuss that are outside of the realm of work, thankfully. and she makes a fantastic and compassionate listener. she has her own comments and remarks to make as you two chat, and she's so mindful about it. she doesn't sugar coat her truth, of course. but she doesn't let it hurt you, either.

she loves the coffee and the chocolate eclairs the most, but she also loves to try whatever you order – no matter how simple or complex it may be. she wants to live a part of your world, your experiences. she wants to always be there in your world – no matter how physically faraway she may be.

stelle

picnic!

a picnic feast? count her in! she loves it. she loves you even more. and now she loves you doubly for taking her out on a picnic. she tries to interact with curious animals, but you have to rein her in before something bad happens. the idea is dumb, she is also dumb, but you love her far too much. this allows her to get away with things at times (much to your dismay).

she's the one who brings the most food. because of course she did. she claims all of it is homemade, by her hands – this is certainly a lie. you'd wager 70% of it is made with her own hands. the rest is bought. but you don't care that much, it's okay to indulge every so often.

she eats far too much junk food, though. you worry. and also wonder how in the hell she manages to live like that. in fact, she eats most of the junk food she bought for the picnic. or maybe this is some sort of secret plan of hers to have you try out her cooking and baking? who knows, truly. you enjoy it all the same – you can tell she put a lot of love and effort into every delightful snack and questionable concoction.

she nearly passes out when done eating – a food coma, maybe. you're content with having her head on your lap, your hands idly brushing through her hair. and then your hand snags in her unruly locks and she wakes up with a dramatic whine. you mentally note to brush her hair later.

[the-s1lly-corner]

Hanging out in the Mansion

Another one!!! Growls@@ im halfway tempted to go look for the old fics and quizzes I used to adore on quotev in middle school

Notes: gn reader, you're a crp, written as non romantic since youre new to the mansion, long post, there will be some character overlap due to "OH x and y hang out together too", very self indulgent, technical part two to the breakfast post

CWs: canon typical violence and death mentions

Characters: slenderman, splendorman, jeff, nina, Jane, masky, hoodie, Toby, Ben, Sally, Eyeless jack, laughing jack

SLENDERMAN

He doesn't really... do much... sure he doesn't outwardly stop you from tagging along with him, but... it kind of feels like a vague tolerance of your existence there in the moment

The only time he really shuts you down and makes you leave is when he goes out into the woods to feed... or when he shuts himself inside his.. office.. space.. at least it looked like an office from the fleeting glimpse you caught through the door before he shut it in your face

But outside of that he tends to... observe the others... sticking to the walls, near the corners

He is... a good listener. At least you think he is. You could tell him anything and he'd cast you no judgement... you wouldn't get any confirmation he was actually paying attention to you until he brings up something you said or liked weeks later

SPLENDORMAN

You can usually find him either keeping Sally entertained or chatting with someone, at least when he's in the mansion! He... actually leaves fairly often for a few hours.. no clue what he does- you haven't quite figured it out or worked up the nerve to ask

But whatever he's doing he's more than happy to let you join him! All you have to do is ask! As far as he's concerned you're already a friend

Though get ready for him to gently and not so subtly pry- asking all sorts of questions to get to know you. Absolute sweetheart even if a little intrusive, if his questions ever tread to more... personal subjects... let him know and he'll drop it in an instant

Always makes sure you're included in any group activities he's in

MASKY

Odds are he's with hoodie, so the three of you are going to be a trio for the day.. you kind of just follow their lead once they're back from doing... whatever it was they were sent out into the woods to do

He doesn't talk much- at most he might respond to you verbally once or twice. It's not that he doesn't like you- he doesn't have any strong feelings for you yet. It's just that he's not very... talky

If you ask bluntly enough he'll show you around the mansion. You already know where the rooms and kitchen are. As well as the living room.. he shows you where other non-bedroom rooms are, as well as the immediate forested area around the mansion

It's... actually a little nice once the quiet tension passes

HOODIE

Great listener, you can talk to him about just about anything. He kind of... nods.. when you trail off and go quiet. You can keep going, he doesn't mind

You're free to tag along behind him as he walks around doing some smaller stuff around the woods. He may not have any assigned work from slenderman at the moment... but sometimes he can't stand just doing nothing

Plus your voice is a nice change from the silence of the woods... also it's a good opportunity for you to get to know the general layout. Landmarks to mentally jot down so you don't get lost

Even if you know sign language he doesn't communicate that much- not much for conversing from his side of things

TICCI TOBY

He mostly hangs out in the living room so going up to him is fairly easy! He's not going to be totally buddy buddy with you off the bat but he's not shut off

If he's in the living room, jeff is there too. And that gets him talking- you're free to hop into the conversation whenever you'd like if you've got something worth while to say

Actually if it goes well you're free to join the two of them just about whenever! He plans on going around the woods tonight to do.. fuck all.. collect rocks, run around, things like that. Maybe the three of you can go out to town and nab some snacks

Only if you're not gonna get them caught of course

JEFF

It's too light outside to go out and do some slashing so in order to kill the time Jeff lounges about the mansion. You're free to join... you seemed cool at breakfast so try not to make yourself look like a total dork

Knife throwing is one of his favorite hobbies when Slenderman isn't breathing down his neck. Throwing the blade decently is a quick way to foster a friendship with him! Though if you suck... maybe he'll be nice enough to give you some tips

He's... a little hot headed... easily agitated. So keep that in mind when interacting with him pre solidified friendship- he's got a shorter fuse for people he doesn't really have a connection to

But other than that he's... oddly chill enough to hang out with. If you impress him he might ask you to come to town with him tonight to pick out some late night stragglers

JANE

She doesn't really spend time around in the common areas or with others. Nina's too much. Jeff is.. Jeff.. She does sometimes play with sally.. lj is too loud and ej returns her blunt and somewhat cold attitude... so she spends a lot of her time either in her room, outside, or in the library

She doesn't own the woods or the mansions library so you're free to join her. Just don't get all up in her business

She at least gives you some attention if you ask something or need something. She won't go out of her way to get you something but she at least gives you instructions

Low social battery, it's best not to pester her too much all at once... slow burn friendship...

More or less instantly shuts you out if she finds out you're also getting buddy buddy with jeff

NINA

Drags you around the mansion- basically pulling you by the arm the entire time. While masky shows you around in silence she's going to be telling you every little detail... even if a lot of the stuff serves no purpose to you

But once that's done and squared away she actually.. just outright asks if you want to go hang out in her room. Maybe listen to music.. watch a movie.. make something-

At least that's assuming she doesn't plant herself in the living room to chat up Jeff and catch up with Toby... or assuming she doesn't get snatched up by Sally to go play some games

Really she kind of drifts around the mansion doing whatever...! Like laughing jack there's a chance you'll be hanging out with someone else if you stick with her!

BEN DROWNED

Odds are he's with Jeff. Sure maybe not physically, but when you're a spirit tied to technology there aren't many windows to step out into the physical world

Oh he WILL make fun of you for throwing up your throws during the knife throwing thing. He will never let you live down a particularly bad throw. Months can pass and he will still bring it up

He doesn't really ask you questions about yourself- at least not the "OH where are you from?" "What do you like?" Ect ect ect ice breaker questions to get to know people... nah... he's more likely to ask if you wanna get your ass handed to you in a game

It's been so long since he's had a new gaming buddy- sometimes having the same shit talk with the same people gets old

SALLY

Well obviously she's going to drag you off to play some games! Odds are she's managed to snag a few others to join you!

It's actually.. really fun... sure it's little kids games- board games, tea parties, pretend. Things like that but who doesn't like innocent fun every now and then?

It also gives you a chance to just.. have a moment of peace. No doubt the transition of moving into the mansion has been hectic

...good luck trying to leave, she's going to get for at least one more game.. and another... and another... playing with splendor and Jane and on occasion ben and nina is fun- but you're fun too it seems!

LAUGHING JACK

Always on his feet- he seems almost incapable of keeping still for very long. Sticking with him leads to you scurrying across nearly the entire mansion and learning just about every inch of it save for any rooms that are off limits

Hes.. open. Chatty and willing to pick you apart to figure out what makes you tick- not in a malicious way to keep you in line... no no no, it's all mostly innocent for him...

He can be a little overstimulating sometimes, though, he talks a lot and he talks loud. Not quite shouting but his talking voice is definitely louder than most... he also moves around. A lot. Not just walking- he emotes a LOT. And laughs... a lot

Hanging out with him often times leads you hanging out with just about everyone for at least a few minutes

EYELESS JACK

He likes to spend his time alone. He doesn't... really enjoy spending time around others. Everyone's either too nosey or too loud. Your best bet at getting close to him is just... letting him take the lead

Small talk is going to be your best friend- slipping in some words in passing whenever you guys run into one another. He's reclusive but he's not outright rude... well... okay he's blunt and sometimes doesn't have tact but he's not going to ignore you if you haven't done anything wrong

It's like trying to befriend a cat. Give him time and let him warm up to you at his own pace. He won't be all over you when he starts seeing you as a friend but overtime those few shared words turn into sentences...

Maybe one day you can convince him to come hang out in your room to watch a show or something

[walpu]

walp

hear me out on this

Aventurine's bodyguard (reader), but they are used as leverage against Aven during the 2.1 Trailblaze Quest, if Aven tries to leave the Dreamscape or reveals anything of Sunday's scheme, Sunday murders Reader and makes it seem like a freak accident 😀😀

Sunday when I catch you Sunday

I liked this request the moment I saw it so I rushed to do it as soon as I got enough time to work on it 😭

you being used against Aventurine as his weak spot during the 2.1 trailblaze quest

notes - gn!reader, 2.1 spoilers, angst but nothing bad happens to you, hopeful at the end, sunday is most likely ooc since it's written before 2.2, no beta

Sunday doesn't make a direct threat. It's a very subtle hint, a small warning. Yet it's obvious enough for Aventurine to understand the meaning behind Sunday's words immediately. How can he not when it concerns you?

There's a visible anger on his face when he glares at Sunday.

"You wouldn't dare, you wing-headed bastard. Do you think the IPC is stupid enough to believe that the death of my personal bodyguard tgat accompany me everywhere is a coincidence? Do you think I'll let it slide?!"

Oh, he's seething. Such raw emotions, such obvious worry, such obvious fear. Sunday knew he would get him good but that? Truly intriguing.

But how can he not feel that way? How can he play it cool, cover his fear and shield himself with short on-line answers?

This time he can't hide how much his hands are shaking.

Sunday is quick to remind Aventurine that in his current pitiful state, 17 hours to live and all, he hardly can do anything.

He also graciously reminds Aven that nothing will happen to you as long as he does his part.

Aventurine is such a mess after that conversation. Ratio tries to calm him down a bit by rationalizing the situation. Surely Sunday is bluffing. The Family, no matter how questionable they seem, are not murderers. Plus, surely Aventurine knows his own bodyguard well enough to know that you're not easy to kill. Many has tried and yet here you are, still alive and well.

But how can Aventurine just brush it off when it's you who may be in danger?

That what he was afraid of the whole time. That he'll lose you like he has lost everyone else. That your blood will be on his hands.

He asks Ratio to look after you and to escort you to safety if something happens. The promise doesn't calm him down but Ratio is a reliable and smart person. So he chooses to trust him, no matter how hard it is. After all, Aven doesn't have much choice.

When the two of you reunite, you can immediately see that he's shaken. He tries to hide his pitiful state from you, not wanting you to know that his time is running out. He wants to warn you instead, to tell you that you may be in danger. But he knows you won't take it seriously and instead would insist on taking care of him and protecting him.

He comes up with some lies (aeons, he hates lying to you of all people) and asks you to start your own investigation. To go back to the real world and to team up with Topaz and Jade.

It takes some time to convince you but eventually you reluctantly agree. He sees how much you hate leaving him like this and it's both heartwarming and heartbreaking at the same time.

Aven is an even bigger mess now than he was in the game. He tries to tell himself that you're okay, that Ratio will accompany you to the real world and Topaz will look after you once you're there.

But how can he be sure? How? His "future" self asks him this mockingly, pointing out that you're smart, that you'll immediately understand that he has deliberately sent you away to keep you from something.

No matter how msny times he tells this "future self" to shut up, he knows he's right. So he can only pray that he'll be able to deal with the Family before you get yourself in danger.

Image you showing up during the final act just to see him threatening to detonate the Stellaron. Him trying to continue the "show" despite the ache in his heart. You, knowing he's bluffing but being unable to stop this insanity.

After the events of 2.1, he seeks you out as soon as he returns to the real world. He needs to know that you're alive, that you're safe. Even if you're angry with him now, even if you may not forgive him (of course you will he's just insecure like that), he needs to know you're fine.

So imagine his relief when you (safe, unarmed, alive) embrace him and hold him tightly, so overwhelmingly happy he's back.

image his reaction to finding out that you're alive and well and sunday has presumably kicked the bucket 💀

[ask-whitepearl-and-steven]

What's Pearl and Earl' relationship now? I remember Earl was very done with her for the whole "Hey I know you better than you do so why not join us and ditch the first person who was kind to you after millennia? :)", but did they get better now that Pearl knows that she is making her own choices?

It's my genuine hope that the answer to this question is evident through the comic.

Although it's true that Earl and Pearl's relationship is never explicitly brought up or talked about, I think I do an okay job of showing how they progress through visual background hints. They've clearly come a long way!

They went from this:

to working together in Season 4 quite seamlessly, no longer at odds:

and now this, in the early chapters of the new season.

Hopefully that alone is enough to suggest how they're doing but to make it absolutely explicit - yeah, they get along! They have cooperated for a few missions, and there's no longer the same awkwardness. Plus, Pearl even reassures Steven in the most recent episode, when he fears Earl doesn't like him anymore, which should tell you a lot about how she feels.

They're not besties, necessarily - Earl still lives with Steven primarily and is much closer to him, and Pearl is, well, Pearl, and she prefers the company of Rose (and Garnet and Amethyst)... But I like to imagine they hang out sometimes, mostly due to circumstance than design. Still, they vibe on a level that Pearls do, thanks to their shared history (although Earl is unaware of the bulk of it).

Plus there's that one gif I made as a joke, and never finished, but it's.... a bit suggestive... Maybe I'll post it on Patreon.

[tathrin]

The next story I am definitely 100% Not Writing: An Unexpected Wedding.

So: Elvish marriage is, we all know, a very simple thing that you don't need much...let's say ceremony to complete, wink-wink.

Dwarven marriages, on the other hand...! Well, let's just say that Durin's folk know how to throw a fancy shindig, yeah? Plus, there are the contracts. Oh, are there ever contracts! Can't have a marriage without proper contracts. No contract, and it's just a fling (even if lasts over a century), everybody knows that who knows anything.

And these sort of flings are lovely and can be very fulfilling, and many a dwarven family-unit has been based entirely upon such long-term flings; but without a contract to account for the merging (or not) of your crafts and your work and such, well, it's not a marriage, is it? Of course not.

So one day, Legolas discovers that while he's been calling Gimli his husband for like thirty years now, according to dwarven cultural standards, they're not actually married!

Gimli isn't bothered by this, and never has been, because everyone knows that he and Legolas are Together(tm), and he knows that elves consider the idea of a public "marriage ceremony" to be pretty weird, also. And it's not like there's any shame about these sorts of "flings" in dwarf culture, so everybody in Aglarond is content with the status-quo of having an unmarried lord who's known to be attached to a strange elf, and they respect that relationship entirely (even if most of them still find the fact that Legolas is an elf pretty odd).

(Also, Legolas is is going to live forever, while Gimli still assumes at this point that he'll be bound by a normal dwarven life-span, so of course from Legolas's perspective their relationship must inherently seem like a short-term affair, anyway, even if neither of them like talking about that fact...)

So Gimli's perfectly happy with their elvish-marriage. Lots of dwarves never get married at all, it's nbd.

Except Legolas doesn't see it that way. How unintentionally selfish of him, to have only wed Gimli according to the standards of his own culture, and not that of Gimli's people as well! He had no idea, but now that he knows, he must set about fixing it at once!

And that's the story of how the entirety of Rohan got roped-into helping a Wood-elf plan a dwarf-style wedding ceremony as a surprise for the Lord of Aglarond.

Needless to say, the "surprise" aspect of it doesn't last very long—just long enough for many and varied hijinks to ensue—which is good, because A: you can't really negotiate contracts without representatives of both parties involved and B: as well-intentioned as he is, Legolas has very little idea of what a dwarven wedding actually is or how to throw one.

But by gosh, is he going to try!!!

(Fortunately Gimli finds Legolas's earnest intentions endearing even when he's completely off-base about just about everything, so he looks at the near-debacle of what Legolas and his bewildered human assistants have done so far and declares it all to be extremely sweet.)

Even more fortunately, once he realizes that it matters to Legolas that they be wed in dwarf-fashion—because Legolas thinks it matters to Gimli—Gimli takes charge of the rest of the arrangements, which also means acquiring the help of a bunch of competent dwarven friends and advisors, now that the rest of Aglarond know what's going on much to the relief of Éomer and the Rohirrim who are now off the hook for anything but attending the resultant party.

Which is how we end up with Thranduil being invited to a dwarven marriage ceremony in the Glittering Caves of Rohan along with the entire royal family of Gondor and the elvish colony of Ithilien and a whole bunch of Hobbits.

He thinks the whole idea is ridiculous, of course (they've been married for years, everyone knows it, why are mortals so weird about this stuff?), but he goes along with it because it seems to matter to Legolas, even though Thranduil gets rather offended by the notion of signing contracts on behalf of his son, and has to be talked-down from interpreting that as a mortal insult by the combined efforts of Aragorn, Arwen, and Faramir.

But mainly he's just irritated that they couldn't have gotten their shit together earlier and done this before Bilbo left, because his Hobbit bestie loves a good party, and he's going to be so pissed in like four or five hundred years when Thranduil crosses the Sea and tells him about it.

(Also the party would have been way more fun with Bilbo there to make scathing commentary, and Thranduil is grumpy not having him in attendance. What's the point of declaring your favorite Burglar an Elf-friend if you can't pull him out for your own personal entertainment at parties!?)

Anyway the whole thing is a disaster, of course, because half the people involved don't actually understand what the fuck they're supposed to be doing or what half of it means, but.

But it's lovely, also.

And the Glittering Caves have never glittered quite so brightly as they do when Gimli and Legolas say their vows at last (even if Legolas's Khuzdul pronunciation is atrocious! fortunately Gimli finds that endearing, too, although the elder dwarves all wince terribly). Even the bright crystal casing that forms the centerpiece of the great hall, the one that Gimli spent five years carving until it was just right, the one that holds those three long golden hairs he's always waxing so euphoric about...

Well, even that shines brighter than usual, that day.

And far across the Sea, someone looks into her Mirror, and smiles.

And then Bilbo promptly elbows Celeborn out of the way so he can see, too. Why are elves all so blasted tall!

[thehelltingvilleclub]

Helltingville Epilogues

Want some old men? have old men and the lonely rat bastard Captain Dickey.

From left to right:

Jerry - Mandi - Cherri (Left) - William "Buck" Titus (Right) - Bill - May - Pete - Jane - Amari (Matt's younger sister) - Josh - Matt

dude this took me too long

but man do I love all of em

Jerry and Mandi don't end up together permanently-- but they do have their kids together. I genuinely imagine Jerry ends up like Scout TF2 style as a single dad to like 4 kids but he loves them all equally and gives them all the attention he can.

And when he can't handle them all, he'll just drag Bill over and make him deal with them.

Yes, in Helltingville the gang stick together.. kind of. Like old friends that happen to live nearby-- they meet up occasionally, they keep tabs on each other online, they might even have a christmas party together, but they definitely are not hanging out regularly like they did as kids.

Jerry and May's anxiety can't take it, Josh's heart can't take it, and Bill can't take the guilt of knowing that, so its sparingly, but they'll keep in touch.

During the heavy confrontation after Comicon and after, Bill kinda.. hit rock bottom? Like if he hit rock bottom as a teenager then he hit the bottom of satan's fucking boot. Getting reemed out by Matt, disgusting looks from everyone and even his sister, seeing everyone so happy without him--

he struggles with that, and he hates it. He gets so unbelievably angry with himself for being both equally stupid and selfish. He shouldn't be upset about this! They're just stupid fake fans that don't understand him, right? then why the hell is he three bottles in and he still feels like shit?

Jerry and May keep tabs on Bill the most, checking on him and forcing him into therapy. Jerry uses him as a free babysitter, May enjoys the company when she isn't on set with Pete, and Bill isn't passed out drunk in his mom's basement.

Jane and Amari were enemies in high school, they actually hated each others GUTS. Amari was captain of the cheerleading team and Jane had her punk girl gang. And yet, in college, they managed to get together and put aside their differences. (Plus, Amari has the same infatuation problem as Matt... and her type is scrawny women that could stab a bitch, apparently).

Matt does develop a bit.. of an alcohol issue. He's so stressed from work, worried about Josh and his health, BILL being ALIVE, Bill being NEAR HIM, Bill staring at his SISTER bro his liver is crying.

Josh.. kind of knows. He can tell that Matt drinks at dinner and maybe a sip or two before bed, but He doesn't want to step out of line and make Matt upset. The last thing he wants is to upset his fiance and get yelled at again for being useless. He doesn't need to go down memory lane.

Cherri develops a vocal stim similar to Jerry, and struggles to talk otherwise and is usually hiding behind him whenever they aren't in their room. Buck, on the other hand, will not stop asking questions or shut the fuck up. this kid has enough energy to power the sun and his brain never turns off. Sorry Bill, you're gonna have to explain the entire Star Trek lore because you mentioned Star Logs and did the Vulcan Salute and now he demands to know what that is.

May works with Pete on occasion, mostly on a commission basis from Butchie. She helps make props and walks new actresses through the ropes and makes sure they're safe on set. Pete is just happy his woman's with him and you BET he brags "guys look at my girlfriend god I love her--"

And yes, they're looking to name their kiddo Sidney, but it's still a toss up. Bill says the name sounds dumb but won't help May pick any new ones to add to the list, so his opinion can get stuck in a meatgrinder.

Guys i have too much to say about them.

[iamtheonethinginlifeicancontrol]

I have thoughts on this week's episode of Ranma 1/2 (ep 11)!

I thought that the re-framing that the anime did of Shampoo and Akane's match was very interesting. Choosing to have Akane lob a desk at Ranma and then have him hit in the head by a football (holy head trauma, Batman!) was such an interesting change to make! Ranma being unconscious for a minute or two before running off in search of Akane gave the match more time to occur, built more suspense, and gave Ranma himself more urgency in his search.

The rest of what I have to say contains spoilers (can we say this of a manga series that finished in 1996?) for the end of the manga, under the cut

I'm a die-hard 乱あ shipper and have been since I first read Ranma 1/2, so this episode delighted my little shipper heart. There are some small but significant deviations from the manga that I wanted to expand on, and one particular change that is narratively significant in light of manga canon.

Putting aside the issues of Shampoo's newer fixation on Ranma-as-male as her future husband per Amazonian law and how that impacts the dynamics of our tsundere couple in this ep, I'm choosing to focus on the scenes related to Akane's showdown with Shampoo and the changes that the anime made from the manga (and why I'm living for them).

As mentioned, the decision to knock Ranma unconscious is an interesting change to make, but I'd argue that it works well and was a well thought-out deviation from manga canon. As I said above, it gives the match more time to occur—whether that impacts the duration of time that the Xi Fa Xiang Gao technique takes is yet to be seen. It also builds suspense for the audience, especially in light of the younger generations/newer audience members who may be interacting with Ranma 1/2 for the first time. Most importantly, though, it gives urgency to Ranma's search for Akane that isn't quite there in the manga. Sure, he's worried as he runs after Shampoo and Akane after he gets delayed (by Akane slamming a window in his face lol), but the time that elapses between the two girls going off to fight and Ranma going after them is very short. Maybe 30 seconds, 60 at the very most. I'll include a panel below to illustrate this:

And of course, I'm not arguing that Ranma isn't worried about Akane or fearful that she'll get hurt. But there's a fairly significant difference in how this is portrayed (see below) versus how the anime chose to approach this.

For one thing, the framing is very different. Akane getting injured, while of real concern, is being shown in a humourous way; her facial expressions (like the swirly eyes) and Takahashi-san's characteristic "るーみっくサイン" (rumic sign) are used for comedy, to make it seem like any hurt Akane might incur won't be too serious. Plus, while Ranma does try to diffuse the tension after Akane grabs P-chan from the tray and gets the Kiss of Death for her trouble (lol Shampoo just gives those things out like party favours, doesn't she?), and tries to avert the fight between the two girls, the time that passes doesn't truly allow his concern to sharpen further. As seen above, Ranma's worried-but-determined. He's not flooded with anxiety (or particularly intrusive thoughts imo).

However, the anime chose to allow Ranma to actually lose consciousness at the beginning of the girls' match. We don't (and probably won't) know how long Ranma was actually unconscious, but it certainly was long enough to warrant his frantic search for Akane.

And frantic it is! This man starts running around the entire campus yelling her name, escalating to screeeeaming by the end. Please see below (subs are Akane's name [あかね] and onomatopoeia/sound effects for running and heavy breathing):

But don't worry, guys, he's super laid back, super chill. Jk just in these screenshots alone, he's calling/yelling her name 10 times.

Let's talk quickly about framing here! This is pretty starkly different from how the manga frames these scenes. The colouring is dark, the sky is cloudy, there's no lightheartedness to be seen, and Ranma's frantic and anxious, underscored by the, uh, musical scoring. The anime is treating this as Serious Business, which does make a lot of sense, given that Shampoo chased onna!Ranma all over China trying to kill him, and that experience is what's informing Ranma here. He has an interspersed imagination spot (see below) of Shampoo hitting Akane point blank in the chest with one of her chuí, and we see Akane exclaim in pain, fall to the ground, and remain motionless. He's panicking because he knows how dangerous Shampoo is, and he's afraid for Akane. He doesn't want her to get hurt; he wants to protect her wellbeing, especially because he's seen that she's less concerned with that than he thinks she should be. His insult from the skating arc makes another appearance here: he calls Akane "鈍い女" [nibui onna; slow/dull girl chick], which in his imagination looks like Akane leaving herself completely open for a sternal strike? But his anxiety is informing this mental image, so he's probably imagining a worst-case scenario. I'd hope that his opinion of Akane's capability would be higher, but I digress.

After he stops running about and screams Akane's name in desperation, he quickly hears Ryouga-as-P-chan's voice, he dashes toward the sound, finding Akane unconscious on the ground: fears confirmed!

And here's where, to me, it gets really interesting. We see that Ranma is calling Akane's name and cradling her in his arms; very different to this scene in the manga, where he's on his knees next to her, calling her name and saying, "hey, [untranslatable word that could best be read as] just..." (see below):

And in the anime, this becomes an intentional reference to the end of the Saffron arc in the last volume of the manga (38). Ranma says the same thing in one of the last scenes of that story arc, cradling an unconscious Akane in his arms, calling her name, and begging her, "起きろよ、あかね" (okiro yo, Akane; wake up, Akane], among other things. See below for comparison of the manga (upper left-hand panel, specifically) vs the anime:

And here's episode 11's parallel:

Well, gee, what does Ranma screaming her name while holding her with tears in his eyes remind me of? I'm glad you asked! It's the next panel in the manga!

Spoilers, but really.

I've reached my pic limit on this post, so I can't compare and contrast much more, but I do have more to say on this parallel. Might make another post later, so that I can show more pics for illustration.

Whether I make that follow-up post or not, my immediate thought when I saw this in the episode was both that it was an intentional reference to Jusendō, and that it was intended to be the first of a pair of narrative bookends (i.e. recurring or similar scenes meant to refer & compare to one another within the narrative to illustrate something, whether character growth, story progression, relational changes, etc). If we do get the Full Ranma Series animated (may it please God), this is both foreshadowing and bookending, and I'm delighted by it!

Also, even if we don't get to see the Jusendō arc animated, Yamaguchi Kappei will have had the opportunity to play a version of that iconic scene from the manga and do his best "Akaneeeee!" scream.

[deadbeatbirdmom]

One of the themes in RWBY is about the current generation being failed by the previous one. We see it a lot with the mess that is the Xiao Long-Rose-Branwen family.

Every single member of Team STRQ failed Yang and Ruby, to a greater and/or lesser extent.

(read more cut because this gets long, although I make no promises that I'll cover everything, and please forgive any typos, I'm very tired)

Raven abandoned her daughter and her husband (yes, husband, according to 'The World of RWBY' book by Daniel Wallace, written with input from CRWBY), and the rest of her team. Yang wasn't old enough to remember her, and may well have still been a baby at the time. The reason why seems to have been for Raven to take the leadership of the Branwen tribe of bandits, although I think it was more complicated than that, which would fit with Raven being such a complicated woman.

Summer. Yang's super-mom. The mother who stepped up. I deeply respect that. She had the best of intentions when she left on that super secret mission with Raven, presumably to confront Salem. To protect her family, and hopefully so she'd never need to leave them again. Unfortunately good intentions pave the road to hell, and she ended up never going home to her girls. That truly tore the family apart, and it never really recovered. Yang's abandonment issues aren't only from Raven leaving, and a lot of Ruby's issues come from trying to live up to the memory of Summer while being held to impossible standards.

Tai didn't react well to the loss of Summer. To quote Yang: he shut down. Yang had to pick up the pieces and keep things together. Alone. Because Tai was always busy with school, and Ruby couldn't talk yet. It's striking that Yang refers to her dad by name in Alone Together when talking to Weiss about it. Most kids don't do that when referring to their parents. Your mileage may vary about what that means, but to me it sounds a lot like resentment. Don't get me wrong, Yang loves her dad. But it's entirely possible to feel both love and resentment.

I do empathise with Tai. I'm all too familiar with grief and loss and depression. I'm sure he did his best, and as far as we know he did keep his kids fed and clothed, and gave them treats from time to time like the boba tea mentioned in the RWBY Beyond episode. But the fact remains that Yang ended up doing more to raise Ruby than she ever should have or would have if at least one of her mothers had stayed. Yang had no reason to lie to Weiss about that.

And Tai definitely failed his daughters. Even without anything else, there's the incident when Yang and Ruby were left alone when clearly too young to be unattended, and Yang went in search of Raven, with Ruby pulled in a wagon. That they weren't devoured by Grimm is thanks to Qrow, and possibly Raven for getting Qrow there, because I don't know how else he found them in time besides good luck for once (or very bad luck for the Grimm).

Does that mean Raven might have given Yang more than one save, or wriggled out of her rule about that by getting Qrow to do the saving? Does she secretly have a bond with Ruby, and that was Ruby's save? Whatever the case, Raven failed them too, because Yang wouldn't have been looking for her if she hadn't needed a mother, and Raven was well aware she no longer had one.

I do think it quite likely that by this point Raven had become the Spring Maiden, so might not have felt able to return even if she wanted to - it would have risked endangering the girls if someone learned Raven was a Maiden and tried to take the power for themselves.

Did that near disaster give Tai a wake up call? Did Yang only raise Ruby until then? We don't know for sure, but as someone raised by a single mother for a while, I can tell you that single parents can't work and raise children without help. There doesn't seem to be any extended family around to have done so, probably all killed by Grimm in the dangerous world that is Remnant... Plus there's Ruby's words to Yang when they're reunited in Volume 9: "If you thought we wouldn’t come for you, then you must’ve forgotten who raised me." I really don't think Ruby is referring to Tai there. Especially with referring to just herself and not both Yang and herself with 'who raised me.'

Childcare exists in Remnant, at least in Argus (there's a mention of needing to collect Jaune's nephew from childcare in Volume 6). I can't imagine it's unheard of in Patch. Yet Tai doesn't seem to have used it. To be clear, if any of the rest of Team STRQ had been left as a single parent they'd have needed help with childcare too, you can't both work and raise children at the same time. That goes for Summer too, even super-mom would need help. Maybe Tai's teaching job didn't pay well enough for him to afford it. Maybe he feared reaching out for help would mean losing his daughters, and I have no doubt that he loves them, and not just because they're all he has left of their mothers.

The way Tai talks to Yang during her training session in Volume 4 does make me wonder if he associates her far too closely with Raven, because while there are similarities Yang is very much her own person and also influenced by Summer far more than by Raven. We don't see him interact much with Ruby, but I wouldn't be surprised if he similarly associates her too much with Summer.

It doesn't help that Yang and Ruby so closely resemble their mothers - and they do, despite Yang's hair and eyes being different to Raven's, apart from when her eyes turn red. That must've given Tai quite a shock the first time it happened... Anyway, my point is that Raven is like a dark reflection of Yang. Or Yang a bright reflection of Raven, I'm not sure which. The physical resemblance of mothers and daughters can't have helped Tai with constant reminders of them, especially as they grew older and the resemblance more striking.

Qrow... I'm sure Drunkle Qrow did his best to help out, but at the time his mindset on his Semblance would have limited him to fleeting visits rather than living with Tai and the girls. He simply loved them too much to want to risk Misfortune hurting them.

That and Qrow was raised by bandits, a rough upbringing where he was made to feel like a bad luck charm. I'm not entirely certain he'd have seen the problem with Yang having to raise Ruby. There is a story in the Yang official manga anthology where Qrow acknowledges kid!Yang has every right to be angry about being burdened with the responsibilities of grown ups, but how canon those anthologies are is ambiguous.

One thing for sure: both Yang and Ruby were familiar with Qrow being drunk, and having to deal with that, although never as bad as it got in Volume 6.

And yes, Ruby does talk about Qrow teaching at Signal, and having taught her to fight, and that Tai taught Yang, but that does not mean they were a happy family living together while that happened. Sorry, this family has been haunted and broken ever since Summer disappeared, and the cracks appeared when Raven noped out of there to be a bandit queen.

I've mostly talked about how Yang was affected. But Ruby was too. Sure, she had more of a childhood than Yang did, because to some extent Yang made sure of that. Chances are Ruby got good at pretending things are fine when they aren't. That and Ruby is quite possibly socially awkward for a reason: she was at least partly raised by a child only two years older than she was. Yang did her best, I've no doubt about that, but there's no way she knew what she was doing.

Why does Yang seem comparatively normal if she at least in part raised herself? Because she's good at blending in and wearing masks. She'd have to be to avoid raising suspicions with her teachers about the situation at home, because Tai couldn't have been the only one who afraid about the kids being taken away. One of Yang's worst nightmares must've been about being taken into care by social services and separated from Ruby. Presuming of course that Remnant has social services. It surely has to have something because of the likelihood of those orphaned by Grimm attacks, in addition to the more usual family breakdowns.

In conclusion: this is such a messy family, and as has been noted by @one-real-wrimonkey that's part of what makes them so interesting (sorry, I hope you don't mind being tagged).

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for asking my gf's son not to call me dad?

I (22M) have been dating my gf (24F) for 4 years now. She has a 7 year old whose dad isn't in the picture anymore - he hasn't been since the kid was born. My gf says he was abusive and I think there are some charges against him but as far as I know, nothing was proven. He has other kids too who he does have a relationship with but he doesn't have custody rights with my gf's son so they hasn't been allowed to have a relationship.

My gf and I live together and are both in college. I am going to be a surgeon and she wants to study science but she hasn't decided what to do with it yet. Because we're both busy with that, her son doesn't live with us full time. He stays with her parents during the week. This means that we have to dedicate our weekends to looking after the kid. I didn't really mind this at first but her parents are really pushing for her to look after him during the week now too, which we don't have time for. I hear how that doesn't sound great but the plan has always been that her parents will take care of the kid until she finishes with school. She has classes for 4+ hours from Mon-Thurs, plus she needs to spend a few hours studying every day, then she has labs on Friday for most of the day. I have classes all week for fewer hours each day but next semester I'll probably be doing an internship so I'll have more work to do. Then we pick up her kid on Friday evenings and spend the whole weekend with him. There's hardly any time for us to spend time alone together. I like her son and he's usually fun to have around but both of us are obviously stressed from having no down time so most weekends my gf and her son get into an argument or something and things escalate. I try not to get involved when that happens. Sometimes my gf and I are the ones who end up arguing and in that case, I usually go to my parents house.

Basically, I'm not super involved with the kid. Her parents want us to spend all of our free time on parenting despite originally agreeing that it was better if my gf focused on school. He has a dad who could probably be more involved but my gf and her family don't want him around. I've suggested that maybe it would be a better solution for her son to live with his dad full time, that way she can focus on school and then her career and still have time for herself and for us. I love her but she doesn't really have maternal instincts and she doesn't actually want kids, she has said a lot that she regrets not giving him up for adoption.

Recently, we were out for dinner with my gf's sister and kid, and the kid called me his dad. He's done this a lot and usually I just kind of ignore it, but no one else corrected him this time and I felt like the kid deserved the truth. I asked him then and there not to call me dad because he has a real dad who probably wouldn't like it. He didn't seem upset by it but my gf's sister lost it. She thinks I don't want the kid around and that I'm the reason my gf doesn't spend more time with him. She also thinks this was the first time my gf's son heard about his bio dad. Total conjecture, but she won't hear my side of it. The kid knows I havent been around since he was born so he obviously knows someone else must be his dad. I told my gf I don't think it's fair to let the kid call me dad when he has a real dad out there and she sort of agrees. She told her son not to call me dad anymore and they had a long talk about it. She still doesn't want the real dad involved but that's a whole other battle.

Here's why I think I might be the asshole: I said this to the kid in a moment of annoyance, which probably wasn't the way to bring it up. Like I said, he didn't seem upset by it but I wasn't there for the longer conversation so I don't know exactly. I think he's old enough to be allowed to know about his real dad in a more serious way. It's kind of messed up that he could run into his dad in the street (we live in a pretty small town) and wouldn't know it. I'm not his dad and for the foreseeable future, I won't be responsible for him as a parent because he still lives with his grandparents. I think it's reasonable to say that he shouldn't call me dad. So, AITA?