#port mafia skk

[toomanymarkers]

People joke about Dazai and Chuuya being romantically experienced or whatever, but I think it's the opposite. Chuuya doesn't know what that stuff is because Mori thinks it's funny

[dahliadagger]

sir you'll have to specify that a little

[kyoukamybeloved]

Everytime i remember that scene un stormbringer, this is all I can think about

like they fully did this, coordinated and all, dazai was like yeah this is fair

creds: aka3kan on twitter is the artist

[cryptidkey]

Kunikida and some loser

[inamagicalhallucination]

pm game night - fuck marry kill edition

tachihara: okay!! chuuya-san, fuck marry kill, akutagawa, dazai, kunikida

chuuya: marry akutagawa

akutagawa: ew

chuuya: fuck kunikida

akutagawa: ew

chuuya: kill dazai

tachihara: fair enough

higuchi: what about u tachihara, fuck marry kill - akutagawa-senpai, weretiger, gin-san

tachihara: hmm marry gi-

akutagawa: RASHOMON

gin:

higuchi:

kajii: okkayyy higuchi!! fuck marry kill - lemon bombs, me, akutagawa

chuuya: you're playing it wrong! u cant say lemon bombs

kouyou: honestly, how crude...

chuuya: i'll go. fuck marry kill, akutagawa: the weretiger, higuchi, tachihara

higuchi, blushing: oh-

akutagawa: weretiger, weretiger, weretiger

higuchi:

gin:

chuuya: ...that can't be healthy

kouyou, scoffing: fuck marry kill, dazai, tachihara, ranpo

chuuya: fuck dazai, kill dazai, marry da- oh

kouyou: exactly

higuchi: wait ! chuuya-san fuck marry kill, kunikida, ranpo, tachihara

chuuya: hmm

chuuya: fuck kunikida, marry kunikida, kill dazai

higuchi:

kajii: wait i get it now! akutagawa! fuck marry kill-

akutagawa: weretiger, weretiger, weretiger

kajii: i didn't even finish

tachihara, finally waking up covered in blood: am i dead

gin, writing to tachihara: fuck marry kill, weretiger, higuchi, tanizaki

tachihara: hmm fuck wereti-

akutagawa: RASHOMON

[mackerel22]

Dazai: Chuuya and I don't use pet names.

Odasaku: I see. Hey, what do bees make?

Dazai: Honey.

*silence*

Dazai: Ha, you thought, bitch.

Chuuya, yelling from another room: What do you want, whore?

[cheshire-writer]

The Problem: Mori wants Dazai as his successor. The mafia wants Chuuya as Mori's successor. Dazai doesn't want it. Cannibalism stageplay revealed that Chuuya doesn't want it either.

The solution: They deal with is skk style. They flip coins, draw straws, battle it out at the arcade. Loser has to lead the PM for a week. Winner gets time off. A week later, rinse and repeat.

Yes, they cheat. Yes, they know the other is cheating. No, it doesn't stop them from trying to out-cheat the other. No, they don't miss a beat picking up right where the other left the work, no matter the codewords, operations, secrets, etc involved that they should technically be clueless about. No, they don't think that's strange. Yes, everyone else is screaming into their pillows.

(Bonus: Dazai spends his ill-gotten time off at the agency, working for the government for a given definition of Dazai-working at a job that pays less than 0.01% of the PM boss salary. He does it to be annoying (and also for mental health reasons).

Chuuya spends his ill-gotten time off attending classy wine-tasting events, writing poetry, and being lead singer for a rock band. He's got a healthy life work balance for the first time in his life.)

[luneariann]

Puppy love!

[moonstainn]

You with the dark curls you with the watercolour eyes 💞

[muaviinu]

AU: mentor to mentee (part 1/2) next

so glad y’all are sharing my vision for this soukoku switch au 😻 i hope u know my notes app is steadily growing with ideas for it 🫶

[carrotkicks]

school universe crossover event

[flamie-42]

Joint Missions

*ADA and PM joint mission* Atsushi: Ok I think we got all of them. Akutagawa: yeah, thanks for your help weretiger Kunikida: what's up with those two? Hirotsu: *draws a heart with fingers* Kunikida: for fucks sake *facepalms* ... Kunikida: *looks around* wait where's Dazai Hirotsu: you don't wanna go looking for him, mate. Kunikida: *suspicious* why? Hirotsu: do you see Chuuya anywhere? Kunikida:...OH Hirotsu: yeah... Kunikida: *sighs* alright. Atsushi! Stop flirting with the mafioso. DAZAI! Get the fuck out here! We are heading home! Atsushi: *flustered* I wasn't flirting Kunikida-san! Dazai: *walks around a corner with an unbuttoned shirt and blushed face* I'm here, ready to head out! Kunikida: I'm disappointed in both of you. Atsushi: *looking shyly over his shoulder at Akutagawa* Dazai: *smirking and waving at an equally unkempt Chuuya* Kunikida: am I the ONLY one who isn't fucking the mafia! Dazai: I can help you get a date if you want~ *gets punched*

Part 3 ~ Part 2 ~ Part 1

[cffeine]

the ada goes to a diner dazai and chuuya used to frequent and dazai, without telling why, insists that they sit at their old booth. he has no idea that chuuya does the same with a few from the pm

[kyoukamybeloved]

they make me sick <3

best part is this goes both way

[doublesuicide19]

Mori: Look I found a box of lost things.

Dazai: Omg! My will to live! 

Chuuya: My humanity... I thought I’d never see you again.

Akutagawa: Self worth. It’s been a while. 

Kaji: Oh look the lemon I lost- ArE yOu ALl oKaY

[starregulus]

hc that Chuuya would trick Dazai into drinking water by giving him two cups of water and telling him one of them is poisoned, knowing that he would just drink them both

(spolier: none of them were poisoned but dazai kept falling for it just in case they were)